I'm going to change my name so it doesn't say Bruce Van Zalem.
Hi, Xavier.
Can you guys hear me okay. Yes. Okay. The mic is just
there's more talking away not realizing that I was muted.
Okay, can I tell you a funny story. I recorded, like I had a couple hour recording session, only to discover that the mic was on me at the whole time.
Yeah, this is new. I should tell you, I've done that more than once.
I was like, yeah, we're back and I am no longer a master I am a baby bird and all over again.
It was a good opportunity to remain steady and my identity and not worry about the fact that it felt like I wasted hours I was like this is just a dress rehearsal.
We will try again.
Well I don't know when you did it but I just did it last week so there you go.
What happens especially with this mic is, I think I hit a hit a button when I was moving it. Yeah, like, and then I just never tested it again.
That's exactly what I did.
Hey Marcella How are you.
So glad to see you back.
Yeah.
I was in your neck of the woods but unfortunately I get to see you and Callie.
Oh, I know I know I know it just, it just did not. It just wasn't gonna work this year you know so it's a lot of little changes for me, but things are on are on a upswing and I'm excited about that.
I love just I kind of popped in when you were talking about.
I think you were saying you were recording and the mic was on mute.
Yeah, yeah.
You know some things you just don't outgrow you just it's gonna happen every now and then because it's technology and.
But I just chose to, I'm like hey it's time with the Lord it's time honing my, my message it's building a muscle again it is kind of funny coming back into it all and realizing like, just like as if I hadn't gone to the gym and worked out for a really long time, like, I got some sore muscles, doing some lifting, but it's good to be back.
You know, you are you guys are fearless leaders, and I mean I really would not have been here at all I just marvel every time I think about it I just marvel like oh god I just heard your voice in the dark, and there was Lindsay there was Bruce and all the tech, all the things that I know how to do and it's like, I can't even believe how I got here but I've been loosening.
I feel like Jesus has been like helped me to loosen my perfectionism things of, you know, just grabbing I've been grabbing the phone and just recording and doing some things and I'm like, oh my god I guess it's time to leave the comfort zone and just jump out there so I really appreciated your video that you did.
Right from the gym.
Beautiful to me. So, hey,
No, I appreciate you saying that yeah and here's what was so interesting about them we'll talk a little bit about that because I know we all have our wins and we're moving forward, me included like I'm on this journey with you guys.
But up until that point I tried a few times to do more of the studio set again, even tried to bring in the teleprompter and it just did not feel.
I didn't I didn't it just did not feel peaceful it did not, it wasn't that it was like oh this is hard I have to learn how to do it again it was like this does this does not feel like the new wine skin that you know like that was the word that I had when the Lord was like hey when you do come back it's going to be a new wine skin.
And like didn't feel that way. And then sure enough like I was leaving the gym and I just felt like he said go.
And it felt so natural, even though it wasn't natural, if that makes sense like I don't really do that. I haven't really done the car side like let's just get up and talk, but it felt like something.
I felt really proud of it, even though I'm like that was not perfect at all you know that wasn't my standard quote unquote.
And so I think there's something to that, as we're following the leading of the Lord and the sensitivity of spirit and also just, you know, I see Holly jumped on here.
The word that Holly shared with our group about courage and taking the action has really just, I mean that was, it was such an activating word for me in this season of, it's not going to maybe look the way that I think it needs to look, but it doesn't lack power or effectiveness because of it.
Like you're saying letting go of that control Marcella and and being open, not in defeat, but in really true surrender.
is such a game changer. So and I even wonder because I like went back then I went back to
the studio later that day and I'm like okay let's like flush this out and have an episode and then
like there was a muted mic so I'm like okay look but it doesn't mean we stop going so I think that
sometimes we take those things as a sign in the wrong direction like against our identity we're
gonna talk a little about that today of like woe is me that was wasted time you know we take on
of almost like a victim in those those scenarios and I just chose to like not even be sad about it
I was like this is a dress rehearsal this is not wasted time and like maybe this just means like
the studio set is not it it's not where the lord like has me right now it needs to be a little bit
more on the go um so yeah we can jump into that but I want to hear from you like how's how are
you guys doing any wins any blocks like where are we at um I guess I'll go I don't have any major
wins this week um I will share some some good news um I shared it with Macy I'm still still
reeling about it um so a few weeks ago I'll try to share this real quick I won't go through all
the details you know I just tell a story that's why that's why I like a script because I go all
over the place but anyway God is in all the detail and um but um I had been designed I had
been you know I've been really working these it's been six years since my parents passed and I've
just been you know going going going with everything that God has been giving me but I
needed a break and I was like God I haven't been on a vacation I haven't been anywhere I just need
a little break I just need a little break and I see these ships go by and I used to cruise a lot
I see that I go one day I'm going on a boat ride one day I'm going back on the ship one day one day
one day it was all this thing but I just kept declaring and so I saw on social media a couple
of weeks ago somebody was having a retreat this is Dr. Miles Monroe's daughter she's having this
rest reset retreat and I just happened to catch it just scrolling should have been sleep but I
was scrolling and um she was giving away one seat and so at first I would have never jumped for
it but it's leaving right here like like 15 minutes walk 15 minute walk from my house so
when I saw that it was leaving out of Los Angeles I went wait a second and then I looked at the the
chat just I said let me see how many people has put in for this this giveaway I put in for the
giveaway it's like maybe 29 people that's all there's a chance there's a chance so I go and I
put giveaway in there she sends me all the information and then I get a notice that she
had picked a winner and I said oh okay lord I guess it wasn't meant for me keep going and I
just keep going two days later I get an email that says hey we're extending you are you still
interested we're extending an offer to you to go on this cruise three thousand dollar value for
$300 I was like oh my gosh I said but but lord I don't even have the $300
I said so might as well say three thousand so anyway long story short um I was like god I just
have to be honest but I don't want to sound poor mouth I don't want to sound you know what I'm
saying like I'm asking for something I just want to be honest and say thank you and I was really
appreciative because I felt like it was finally an open door you know when you've been kind of
like not getting those doors open like you want to you kind of feel like god is you know is there
anything that's going to open up when is it going to open for me and I just so I got excited and it
was around young young kapoor I don't know if I ever say that right and it basically had just had
this whole lesson with us and so I was embracing that and talking with the lord and expecting you
keeping my expectation of him up so I send the message back and she voicemails me voice text me
and says Marcella that is what's holding you back and you want to go you just have to get to the
port we're going to take that those fees away I have a whole six day cruise guys
that's amazing so excited I'm still like just like really and it's literally like
it's going to take me 15 minutes to walk to the port so I'm just excited so anyway my wins are
just keeping going and getting things set up and just embracing god's goodness and I'm excited
about this journey I'm still posting where I can I'm still talking about the declaration journal
I've gotten several people that says that have told me how much the journal is really helping me
which has really encouraged me so I'm just kind of promoting that and now shifting into also kind of
take kind of taking the side now where where people are hindered in their belief with god
or those struggles I'm kind of writing things with my own journey like where
I've come into agreement with lies from the enemy unconsciously and how God is like fleshing
those things out.
And so I've been writing some things this morning about that, that I'm going to record
and kind of lean into now going from there to heart healing and you need help in this
area.
So that's, that's my focus.
So I hope I didn't take too much time.
I tried to say all of that.
That was awesome.
That's great.
And I love, like, I love what you're building because you're building a couple of different
places for people to connect with you a couple of different levels.
So like sometimes those, and I'm making this up, it's, but like the levels of approachability,
like some people, like we, we even said with short form content, some people are only going
to give me 30 seconds before they give you 30 minutes.
You know, some people are going to download the journal before they book a session, but
you have places for them to grow with you and they're like connection points, which
is really great.
Xavier, how are you doing?
I am doing and doing great.
And I can totally relate to what you were saying.
And obviously what you said in the car, I mean, that inspired me because I wrote this
whole lengthy thing and then I hit send and then I looked at it and went, oh my gosh,
I really just went, you know, running off at the mouth because it was so, you know,
it was just such an inspiration and spoke to me because the Lord's been, you know, been
telling me the same thing.
I was so encouraged by your comment, by the way.
Yeah.
Thank you for your comment.
That meant a lot.
It was, well, I'm glad, I'm glad it wasn't too much.
I just looked at it because I was just typing away.
I said, this is so good.
And so, and, um, but I, I had a similar thing happen also, you know, trying to shoot, to
shoot a video, went, shot the video, got it done, went through the whole thing, went back
to play it and then realized there was nothing there.
Same thing.
I hit mute on the mic and just didn't have it.
I mean, it was, it was just like, okay, that was fine.
It was just practice.
I just needed to, you know, need it, needed to go with it.
It didn't set, you know, set me off.
And I've been feeling the same thing.
It's just, you know, you just kind of have to let go and just, and just do it.
So I've gotten the landing page for the book done.
You know, when you mentioned wins, I said, I haven't checked my email today.
I heard I got a win from Ingram spark, so they've accepted the book.
And so that's great.
And so we've got, you know, the distribution going and I'm redoing my, my web page altogether
just to make it short and concise and, and, and directed, you know, towards the book and
towards the coaching and the same thing yesterday, I worked for two hours just trying to get
these, you know, hero things right.
And just get the whole thing done.
And I get up this morning and it's all gone.
There's nothing there.
And, and I'm like, okay, I knew I saved it.
I know I went through.
All right, Lord.
So obviously something wasn't right.
So we're just going to start over.
And I'm just going to, to, you know, just going to let you go and, and do that.
And when I should have been working on something else, I worked for an hour this morning and
knock the whole thing out.
So, you know, it's just, that's just the way that it goes and I'm just learning to go with
it.
Just learning to let the Lord and, and say, okay, this is what it's going to be.
Since we've had some similar hiccups, you and I, something that I've been encouraging
myself in and strengthening myself and the Lord in is that again, the new wineskin is
important.
I think because sometimes we know too much and we're relying on that, you know, I kind
of go, you think back the knowledge, the knowledge of good and evil, that tree, sometimes we're
eating of that and operating from the knowledge base versus the source of life.
And cause I know you're very knowledgeable in tech, you know, you have, we have similar,
way more than me.
I know you could like, you know, vibe, but sometimes it's like, you know, it's, we know
too much.
We have, we think there's, we could do so many things where the Lord is asking for like,
let's plant some seeds of newness.
Like that was me in the car, like no makeup, no mic, no teleprompter, right?
Like let's just, again, feeling very much like a baby bird and from a place of not
recklessness, but like, let's explore.
Cause I think from that place, we can also build a dependency and a radical trust in
the Lord that we can't build in our knowledge base because there's a little bit, there's
a little bit too much of a dependency on what we know.
And that's where, for me, that's been my journey is that's where perfectionist perfectionism
creeps in and performance creeps in because I know that I must be acting on all of these
things and it has to look a certain way.
And the Lord's like, not really.
And this comes back to the identity conversation that we've been having.
I definitely want to touch on that today because it all stems from two things, who we believe
God is and who we believe we are.
And everything flows from that.
But thank you for sharing.
I'm really excited about the book and that's a huge win.
Do you have a publication date?
So it's actually already available on Amazon.
I don't have the date yet for Ingram.
Okay, okay.
So they're both gonna be print on demands.
So as far as that goes, I've got,
I don't know, 30 copies coming into the house
sometime this week, just so that I've got them
and got them with me and can send them out to friends
and whatnot.
That's super, I'll get it on Amazon.
It's going well.
The other thing I have to tell you is because
the biggest thing I've struggled with is,
you mentioned knowing so much.
Well, the Lord has downloaded so much
that that's all that I've spent most of my life
trying to share with people.
And it took me a long time to realize
that it wasn't about what the Lord was teaching me.
It was about cultivating the relationship.
Yeah.
And so I got that, but the hardest thing for me
has always been sharing myself.
There's a chapter in the book about me
and that was a huge, huge win.
And then now I'm working with Sally,
and it's all about the story.
And I'm having to pull myself out of,
way out of my comfort zone to talk about myself
because it's always been, nobody wants to hear about me.
That has nothing to do with anything.
And the Lord-
That is such a religious lie.
Yes, exactly.
It absolutely is.
And I know better, and the Lord has shown me,
it's like, the world is going to be changed,
it says, by the blood of the lamb
and the word of their testimony.
It's our stories, it's our testimonies
that are going to actually affect change in the world.
And so I'm getting, the Lord is really,
has been pushing me out of this space for some time now.
But for whatever reason, that really struck me
when I saw your post, okay, and your video,
it was just being yourself.
And it rang so true, and it wasn't anything
that I didn't know in my head,
but that finally struck my heart.
That's really interesting.
You know, I've gone back-
We'll be that for each other.
Yeah, you know, I just wanted to share,
that's what made such a huge difference to me.
And so, and it's really kind of opened me up.
And so now there's less trepidation
marching in that direction.
Yeah, and like, let it be a sign in a wonder.
I've, you know, I was, I mentioned this
on a call a while back, like deeply affected
by the assassination of Charlie Kirk personally,
deeply affected me.
I had to sit with that for a second
and really lead my soul back to wholeness in that moment.
But what was a sign and a wonder to me
were other voices that were speaking truth
in the midst of a really chaotic time, right?
And we can pinpoint this all in our story.
It was someone that said something
that maybe we already knew,
but it was them voicing it that activated something in us.
And I think that this is how the body of Christ operates.
This is, I always say this,
God is so kind to give us the gift of each other.
We're not meant to walk this journey alone.
And there is an activation that happens
within the ironing, sharpening iron
and the two or three or more gathering, all of that.
So I'm just grateful to hear that something I did
activated something in you.
It did.
Holly, let's hear from you.
Like, how are things going?
Hi, I don't know what- Wind, blocks?
Yeah, I don't know what video they're referring to.
Did I miss something?
So I went, so I went, I'm back.
I'm back, Holly.
Yes.
On my channels.
Yay, you.
Last Friday-
What's your channel?
It's just your name, right?
It's just my name now.
So on Instagram, it's lindsay.vanzale.
And then YouTube, it's lindsay.vanzale.
And then, so I know I told you guys
that I switched from Posture Podcast to it being my name.
But yeah, I did it from the car, after the gym.
No makeup, no shower, no teleprompter.
Just a prompting, right?
Oh, that's great.
Well, I had some wins.
I had a really good meeting with Macy
and she helped me kind of get a good flow.
I kind of had all these things
that were just kind of scattered about
and helped me kind of get everything into a good flow.
So I feel really good about that.
And I've been feeling for a while,
like that I needed to go back to YouTube.
And I haven't done YouTube since, you know,
back in Kingdom Messengers when we started.
It was a long time ago.
And for some reason I've been getting views there
and I don't even post on Instagram.
So it was kind of funny
that I keep getting these notifications
that I have all these views
and I'm thinking that's interesting.
So I was just telling Macy
that I feel like I wanna go back to YouTube
and I really enjoy kind of teaching and training.
and educating and helping people to understand just a new paradigm, not a new, but a different
paradigm of how we function as God-created, remarkable human beings.
And I had this lady call me.
She reached out to me this week and she said she has been watching all my YouTube.
She's from New Jersey and she wanted to connect.
So we had a phone call yesterday and she was just so encouraging.
She said, I've watched all your YouTubes and I was so thankful to find you and it's helped
me so much.
And I don't know, it was just, it was just a good encouragement to me to that.
Yeah.
Okay.
I want to go back and do YouTube.
And she said, you know, you're an unveiler of truth and I've been trying to put my prophetic
words together, like you said a while back, but I just haven't been able to find them.
I have stuff in so many different journals in different places and I haven't really had
the time to go through.
So I feel like I got my prophetic, I got a new prophetic word.
I haven't had a prophetic word in a really long time.
So that was really nice.
Yeah.
That's about it.
Those are my wins.
Woo-hoo.
I love, Lindsay has disappeared.
I don't know.
She's gone.
That happens when you're a mama.
Apparently.
I don't know.
Let me, let me.
She's, she's gone.
She's, she's not even on the call.
I don't know where she went.
Oh yeah.
She dropped off the call.
She dropped off and then she came back and then she dropped off.
Oh, I didn't even see.
And just so you know, so I have to drop off in a few minutes.
So if I suddenly disappear, I'm just.
Suddenly disappear.
It's on purpose.
Right.
Let me, sorry guys.
Let me check in for two.
I just want to say, while you're doing that, Macy, I just feel so encouraged with this group and to hear.
I always hear everybody's journey.
I feel like we're really all in the same space, you know, with that, with what God has given us.
And it's just, I just feel so encouraged.
So when I hear Xavier, how you're coming along, it's amazing.
I love all that.
I need to get my book done.
Me too.
I feel I need to get my book done too.
Yeah, I just feel like.
You're an inspiration Xavier.
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Well, if it's any consolation, I've probably been working on that book a whole lot longer than you guys have.
It would not come together.
So, I mean.
But it's done and that's good.
I love that.
What happened was the Lord moved us and we knew that we were in for a new season, but he moved us to a place.
I think I might have mentioned it.
Nothing went the way that was planned and everything went the way that it was supposed to.
And we landed in a perfect spot and a perfect place.
I got the book finished in six months after we moved here.
I mean, that was so that was all God.
It was just the matter of what the timing was.
You know, it would not come together.
And, you know, I know part of it was me being stubborn.
But it would just not it would just not come together.
And when the time was right, then it did.
And I was just, you know, as shocked as anyone.
And it's like, okay, get it up on Amazon.
And I'm just stumbling through everything, teaching myself the whole nine yards and then the same thing.
And, you know, sort of have it.
It's so good.
It's there now and it'll soon be on Ingram, which will help get it into the bookstores.
So that's yeah.
You know, what's the name of it again?
It's out of religion and into relationship.
Right.
God beyond the church walls.
So, you know, it is.
I'm sure you guys know my heart is always been for those.
I call the de-churched.
There she is.
Sorry, guys.
No, no.
That's all right.
Glad you're back.
So yeah, so it's all gone well.
It's just, you know, got God's timing and just let him take the lead.
And Holly, I just I missed your whole most of your update, but you're saying you're getting back onto YouTube.
Yeah, I've been feeling that for a little while.
And then I had a really good meeting with Macy and just she kind of helped me get my all these things that I had scattered kind of into a good flow that I can actually do and take on.
And so that was really good.
And then did you hear the part about the lady that contacted me now?
Oh, so after my meeting with Macy and I just decided I think I really want to do.
I was trying to do coaching, but I was I don't want to do coaching.
That's not really what I want to do right now.
And that's why I've been dragging my feet because I don't want to do it.
And so then I really.
realized that I kind of want to go back to YouTube because I've been getting a lot of
views.
I haven't done YouTube since Kingdom Messenger days, but I still get a lot of views and I
get notifications about it all the time.
So after I decided that, this lady reached out to me and emailed me and she said she
wanted to connect.
So I had a phone call with her and she said she's been watched all my YouTubes and she's
so happy that she found me and they've really helped her.
And she's kind of been on a similar journey into the, she had a lot of gut issues and
stuff and kind of went into the holistic world and started finding all this new information
out.
And she was so excited.
And it just really encouraged me because I don't know, it was just a confirmation that
I was kind of on the right track and it was, she said, you're, you're an unveiler of truth.
And I was like, yeah, cause I've been, I've been trying to get my prophetic words together.
Like you said a while ago, but they're kind of scattered in a bunch of journals in different
places.
Some are on cassette tapes and I don't, I couldn't even find them and I hadn't had the
time to go back through and, and find all my words, but I thought, oh, there's my prophetic
word.
I got a new prophetic word and I haven't had a prophetic word in a really long time.
So it was really sweet.
It just, I felt really encouraged and I'm excited to get going on YouTube again.
Awesome.
I'm excited for that too.
Yeah.
I think, and I saw Marcella in the chat said you're focusing on YouTube as well.
I still think it's the best investment of time amongst any of the social media channels
because there is a losslessness to it in the way that the algorithm works and the way that
they still serve up videos that might be two, three, four years old.
We don't see that on the other platforms where it's a very like now and present, you know,
whatever is like the, like the most present thing.
So I'm glad that you're getting back on there.
Yeah.
And I'm still getting views as well.
I mean, we all are because of the way I think that the algorithm, so it's a great place
to invest your time.
I love that you got an identity statement.
Yeah.
I got the identity statement.
Yes.
I'm an unbiller of truth.
And that resin, when she said that, I was like, yes, that's it.
Yes.
And that's, that's, that's how we confirm the word, right?
It has to be confirmed in us.
It's not just somebody speaking it over us, but it's the Holy Spirit confirming it in
us and it's resonating.
And those are the words that we hold on to that we steward.
And I want to talk a little bit about that today because the Lord has had me in Hebrews
11 and Hebrews 12.
And those are the scriptures.
He, those are the chapters he's had me in and then Friday happened.
Right.
So I think that there is a, I don't think it's a coincidence.
I think those, those were some building blocks for where I'm heading.
And I think even as a group where we're heading and then I would even proclaim and declare
where the body of Christ is heading.
Cause the Roman, I mean, I'm Hebrews 11 is talking about like the hall of faith, right?
Like the hall of famers, so to speak of those who walked the faith journey and received
the promise.
And then Hebrews 12 is a really interesting chapter because it talks about, we have a
cloud of witnesses, Jesus being the author perfecter of our faith.
And then it goes into this beautifully challenging passage on discipline and how the father disciplines
us.
And when we receive that discipline, how it, it's not always pleasant in the moment, but,
and he disciplines us because he disciplines those he loves just like a good dad, right?
Like this isn't punishment.
This isn't taking a beating.
This is a sharpening.
It's a honing in and it's a discipline that produces righteousness and peace in our lives.
So it's like, really, it's just a really profoundly beautiful, like building two building blocks
there.
But, so I want to talk a little bit about the day because I think it connects with that
I will continue that this is the mindset shift we must take.
It has to be around us truly owning our identity, knowing who God is, knowing who we are in
him, because from that place produces faith and action.
Like works attached to our faith so that our faith is not ineffective.
As James would say, we'll see you later, Xavier, I know you can only ask, but we're recording
this so you can rewatch it.
But, so let me pull up my notes on this because one of the questions that I've been stirred
with and I have to give Graham Cook credit.
He's been a mentor to me from near and far, but this is a question that he has spoken
in some of his things, but the question is, when is a prophetic word fulfilled?
When is a prophetic word fulfilled?
Is it fulfilled when it happens or is it fulfilled when God says it and we believe him?
When is it fulfilled?
So going into Hebrews 11, we see it says in verse one, faith is confidence in what we
hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
There's
Scripture is supporting the weightiness of God's Word.
Isaiah 55 talks about how God's Word accomplishes His purpose.
It does not return to Him void.
Romans 4 talks about how God calls things that do not
exist as though they do.
So He calls things into existence by His Word.
And then Isaiah 66, which is a really beautiful chapter
as well, actually speaks to the mother heart of God,
which is really fascinating.
But He states, He says, shall I bring to birth and not deliver?
So He takes His Word seriously.
And when He says it, is it true when it happens
or is it true when He says it?
So I would say it's true when He says it,
because His Word carries the weight.
His Word carries that activation,
bringing things into existence, creating an entire universe
by His Word.
So if we take it that seriously, then
when He speaks prophetically over us and He says,
you are this, it's already true.
You're not even becoming it.
What's becoming is the manifestation,
but it's already true.
And what the activating point is,
and I would again use Hebrews 11 to support this idea,
is that when we believe it, is that manifestation
starts to unfold.
Even if it's not yet in our circumstances,
it's happened in the spiritual realm
and it's happened within us.
So examples that are listed in Hebrews 11, Abraham and Sarah,
very classic example.
They're renamed before the promise is manifested.
He says, you are a father of many nations,
no children yet, barren, barren wife, old age,
like not even in the natural possible.
But he names him, this is important,
father of many nations.
So then every time after that moment when Abraham is,
like his name is spoken, he is reminded of what is true.
I'm a father of many nations.
So it's like, what are we calling ourselves?
So for me, I'm just using myself as an example,
but we all probably think about this in your own context.
When I revisited my prophetic words,
there are many prophetic words around being a mother
to multiple generations.
And I can't say that I, so when I received those words,
I was not even a biological mother.
In fact, I was in the middle of dealing
with unexplained infertility when I received those words,
except for one.
One came after Hannah was born.
That was really significant as well.
But the mother word started before I had physical children.
And when I would say I was at a chronological age
where it did not even seem wise.
Like I'm in my late 20s and it's like,
you are a mother of multiple generations.
And I'm like, who, like what 40-year-old, what 50-year-old,
what 60-year-old in their right mind
is going to look to me as a mother, right?
Yeah.
Well, yeah, Marcella's like, I mean, I love that.
But when the word was spoken, it wasn't yet manifest,
but it was true.
But what is needed is the seed to be received.
So the word of God being the seed,
us being the recipient of that seed,
and then something becomes manifest.
It might still be in the gestation period, right?
Like it might still be in the womb
and growing and developing and not yet birthed.
But does he bring to birth and not deliver
is what Isaiah 66 talks about.
So I had to begin to, in my mind,
renew my mind to that truth.
I am a mother.
My mouth, I had to start speaking,
even if I sounded silly.
So the way that I, so one of the words was, you know,
you're a Deborah.
And Deborah in Judges 5, there is a verse where she says,
she declares, village life had ceased until I, Deborah,
I arose as a mother.
So she is taking that identity of statement.
She is declaring it.
And then we see what unfolds in her life.
She's a seed of wisdom for the nation of Israel.
She also is a activator to a general
who's hesitant to go to war on Israel's behalf and says,
okay, I'm going to go with you then.
I'm going to take your hand and do this together.
And then there was 40 years of peace for Israel
because Deborah arose as a mother.
She arose in her full identity,
receiving the word from the Lord and began to walk in it.
And things began to manifest.
We see Gideon, of course.
Gideon's one that we use a lot of,
but it's really important because
God addressed him by his calling, not his circumstance.
We know this, right?
Man of valor or mighty warrior.
And Gideon obviously had to receive that word
and step into it, even if he did so hesitantly at first
and needed a lot of proof, right?
The Lord was really patient with him.
But what is so fascinating here is God sees us
at the outcome level, not at the current struggle.
So when I was called a mother prophetically,
God was relating to me as such.
He wasn't waiting to relate to me later in the future
sometime when it became manifest.
Why?
Because it's already true.
And God, he's a God of truth.
So he operates by truth in his word, as should we, right?
Mary, of course, I love her example.
Cause she says, according to your word, be it unto me.
And knowing that she faced, I mean, potential death, right?
Historically speaking, her receiving a seed
to become pregnant as an unmarried woman,
she was willing to declare and receive that word
in the face of what would be a misunderstanding
to the point of death, right?
So not like, oh, people are not gonna be nice to me anymore,
but the Lord is gonna have to work this out
to save my life in order to birth this child.
And she said, according to your word, be it unto me.
Moses, so Graham talks about Moses
and he talks about how, think about Moses' journey
from the wilderness back to Egypt, right?
Like back to Egypt, after being in the wilderness,
escaping Egypt, coming back,
after even having the conversation with the Lord
being like, I'm not the one.
You're wanting me to be your mouthpiece
and I can't get a word out without stuttering.
And he's walking back to the wilderness
and Graham points out, he said,
I can see him getting taller within himself
as he continues to walk from wilderness to Egypt
to do what God asked him to do,
because what God spoke was true.
And I think about, we have those moments, right?
Where we're coming out of a wilderness
back into some of the places
that we did not want to ever face again, right?
Sometimes he brings us back to those pain points
because there's an overcoming that's about to take place.
There's a deliverance that's about to take place,
but we must walk back to that place
in full authority of what he said is true
and get taller within ourselves as we do that.
As we renew our minds, as we receive clarity on the word
and even not clarity to make a move,
but clarity coming as we take the steps, right?
So then we go into Hebrews 12 and it says,
therefore, since we are surrounded
by such a great cloud of witnesses,
who are these cloud of witnesses?
These are people who received the promise
and lived from its reality.
And interestingly enough,
it says they didn't actually receive
the full manifestation of the promise.
They didn't see the full manifestation of the promise
before in their lifetimes.
But we now get to eat of the fruit of their obedience
and their belief in the word of God over their lives.
It's really powerful.
And then they are in this great cloud of witnesses.
So then it says, let us throw off everything that hinders
and run with perseverance the race marked out for us,
fixing our eyes on Jesus.
Now, I love how Brian Simmons puts it
in his Passion Translation.
Let me pull that up because it was,
this is a familiar verse.
So sometimes when it's familiar, we kind of like,
oh yeah, I know that one.
But I was reading it in the Passion Translation
and I was so taken.
Oh, I got to pull it up on my phone
because that's where I've got it.
And I think this was for me.
It might also be for you.
But some of the things I've walked out
in the last couple of weeks,
the way in which this was worded was really fascinating.
So he's talking about, for all of us,
we have this great cloud of witnesses
who encircle us like clouds.
And then he says it this way,
instead of throwing off every hindrance,
this is how Brian Simmons translated it.
He said, so we must let go of every wound
that has pierced us and the sin we fall so easily into.
Then we'll be able to run life's marathon race
with passion and determination
for the path has been marked out before us.
And he talks about, I mean,
Hebrews talks about after that,
how Jesus is the author perfecter of our faith.
But this was really interesting
because the word wound was really fascinating to me
because we all have our wounds, right?
And we're healing or we have healed.
But sometimes if we don't let go
the wounds that have pierced us,
we unintentionally allow those things to come in
and distort the word that's been spoken.
Only we have the authority to let that happen.
Satan's not crafty and like pulling one on us, by the way.
I don't, that's not my theology.
Like we have the authority and the victory in Christ.
but we can sometimes give authority away
for there to be a distorted view of our identity.
And oftentimes it comes through hurts and pains, right?
It's like, ouch, that hurt.
I don't want to do that again.
I don't want to let these people in again.
I don't want to do it this way anymore
because last time I did that, I was super burnt out.
But if we let go of every wound that's pierced us,
and then it talks about how Jesus is the author
and perfecter of our faith.
And his example is this.
Because his heart was focused on the joy of knowing
that you would be his, traditional translation says,
because of the joy before him, he endured the cross.
Brian Simmons, I love that he says,
because his heart was focused on the joy of knowing
that you would be his, he endured the agony of the cross
and conquered its humiliation.
Hurt and humiliation often are entangled together, right?
Like we're hurt because we're humiliated.
We're humiliated by the hurt.
We're trying to no longer let that happen again, right?
And now sits exalted at the right hand of the throne of God.
And then it also talks about, carefully consider
how Jesus faced such intense opposition
from sinners who oppose their own souls,
that you won't become worn down
and cave in under life's pressures.
I think this was really important
in a very politically heated moment,
where there's hostility and there's anger
and there's people that are working
almost against their own souls to hurt each other with words
or physically hurt each other.
And it's like, Jesus is still our example in this
because he endured the hostility.
And it says to carefully consider
how Jesus faced that hostility
so that you won't become worn down
and cave in under life's pressures.
It's a really beautiful truth.
And it all comes down to identity.
And it first comes down to the word, right?
Like that is the root.
What, and this was straight from the garden.
Did he really say that?
Is he who he says he is?
That's the question still marked on human hearts.
So easily proven by the word and the nature of God
and what activates that in our lives,
Graham would say it this way,
which I'm like, oh,
I don't know if I would have said it that way,
but I think I can agree with it.
Every personal prophetic promise is conditional.
It's not sovereign.
And it's conditional on what?
Our agreement.
It's conditional on our agreement.
So it's not a guarantee in that it's going to happen
if you're sitting and doing nothing
or I would say,
if you're choosing to be unbelieving about it
and self-doubting about it or God doubting about it.
This is a huge challenge for me.
Cause it's like,
I don't know if I've shared this before.
I think I have, but like in a prophetic community,
sometimes we can get very comfortable
sitting in the words, not activating them
because we're surrounded by so many words.
It's kind of like,
just give me the next fresh word
and send me to the next prophetic conference
and send me to the next,
when the guest speaker comes and he's giving words out,
and we love that and it's really life-giving
and there's nothing wrong with that.
The wrongness comes when we're sitting there
still needing another word to agree
with what God has already spoken
and refusing to be activated by what has spoken.
So in my former life and career,
I worked with a lot of more mainstream,
large multi-campus churches
and theologically speaking,
these churches, we all believed in Jesus, obviously,
but usually it came down to areas of contention
around like Holy Spirit, moving today,
prophetic, all of that stuff, right?
So I would sit with some pastors who,
I mean, would have 30, 35, 40 campuses,
have done a lot.
And they would tell me,
I've only really heard God speak to me
once or twice in my life.
And you're like,
and some of them like,
and I don't really think,
I think that's how he works.
Like, I don't think he speaks regularly.
And you're like, ah, I can't get over there, right?
And your heart wants to just reject everything.
But the Holy Spirit met me in those conversations and said,
but look at what they've built and acted on
and agreed with based on what they only think
has been one or two words from me.
There's something honorable there, right?
They didn't need, quote unquote, much.
Now we could argue and say,
hey, the Holy Spirit was speaking
through all different things
that maybe they didn't recognize, right?
Because the Holy Spirit's always leading us and guiding us.
And the Lord doesn't just remain silent
and just only speak to us once.
But maybe they're only aware of one or two words.
where they're like, that was the Lord, he told me to plant this church, or he told me to do this,
right? But they are so faithful to the one or two words where they feel like God has spoken,
and they moved on it, first in agreement in their own heads and hearts that, okay, I'm this man,
or I'm this woman that God says I am, I'm going to do these things, and I'm going to move on that
for years, for decades, right? Where I can look at my own journey and say, hey,
there's things that I sat on because I was self-doubting, I was God-doubting,
and I was just looking for the next word. I just needed another confirmation. I think God is a good
dad, and he's really faithful to us, and he'll continue to speak and give us opportunities to
say yes, but why not just say yes now and take one step in the direction of what is already true
about our identities? So for me this week on Friday, it was like, hey, I'm going to record
something in my car because I feel the go. I hope that what I say is what needs to be said.
I'm not going to overthink it, and I'm not going to sit in a place of humiliation
or rehearse past hurts where I've gotten it wrong or people thought I've gotten it wrong.
I'm going to move on what the Lord has said, and I'm going to trust that he's going to meet me there,
and then I'm going to take the next move and the next move and the next move, and I'm doing so from
a place of trusting who he is. He'll cover me. My heart is pure. He'll cover me if I make
a misstep, and then who I am. I'm a mother in the spirit to multiple generations, and I need to be
mothering, and that starts with my voice, a nurturing voice, a voice of comfort, a voice of
correction at times. I don't know the whole picture, but I know I'm coming back with more
of a fire. I know that I need to be praying for courage. That's something the Lord has really
impressed upon me, and get your community to be praying with you for courage right now,
and I don't know what it's all going to look like. I don't have a blueprint, but I'm going
to take the next step, and when there's mishaps, when the mic doesn't record, when it doesn't go
the way I want, when my makeup's not done and I feel like I need to record right now, I'm going
to take the step because I want to take his word so seriously. I want to take him seriously, right?
I love him. He loves me. I want to work from that place of delight and tender love and expression,
and I don't want to keep it to myself. I think all of us in our own ways have felt the
discontent, the holy discontent of there's more. There's something more here, and we don't want
the enemy to taint that with toil. I know we've talked about that, and a way to steward the more
in a place of holy discontentment that doesn't let self-doubt come in or God-doubt come in
is to stay steady in what he has spoken, and if you don't have more that you can
pick up on being spoken, work on the word that has been spoken. Some of these words
are a decade old for me, and I'm like, it's still true. I'm stepping out on this word.
I am a mother. I'm a Deborah. That was another thing. I'm a Deborah. I must arise as a mother
because something will be activated. Something will happen. There's something missing. Village
life has ceased in some area that when I arise as a mother, that's going to change. I don't know
what that is. Would be nice, but maybe not. Maybe if I didn't know what it is, it would feel
intimidating. Maybe it's the Lord's kindness that he's like holding it for later, but I must arise,
you must too. A voice of truth, a heart healer. Those things must arise.
Hebrews 12 through 13, it's like what is the action required? Strengthen your feeble arms
and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet. There's practical action when you feel weak.
We act from our future self, not our current limitations. That is what the Hall of Faithers
did. They started to act. Again, there was some wobbly moments. They didn't do it perfectly.
Think about Gideon. Think about Abraham. He tried to take things into his own hands.
That did not work out. I'm not saying, so don't be hard on yourself. This is a journey. This is
a relational journey. There will be some ebbs and flows. Delight in that as well. There's going to
be some discipline as Hebrews 12 talks about. It might not always be pleasant, but as you receive
it, there will be produced.
righteousness, and peace in your life. So this is a good thing. So we are bringing in the future
into the now. We are relating to ourselves first, our thoughts, our emotions, relining those things
with what is true, relating to God in that way, the things we speak. I mean, I'm talking about
being a Deborah to people who are probably just like a little bit like, okay, that's okay. It's
I kind of have to get a little bit crazy about it because I need to, there needs to be some
convincing. And I realized because I'm an internal processor, it has to be some, it has to be an
outward expression for me, like conversationally, not just like when it happens, I'll be like, see,
that's what it was. It's like, no, I'm having conversations now with people saying, well,
I know that there's a Deborah anointing on me. I know I'm rising up as a mother. And like,
I don't care if that sounds weird or sounds pompous or I know my heart. Right. And I've
people around me that are speaking into me. I've got mentors, there's discipline, you know,
there's things happening. They're sharpening their hand. I wouldn't say it that way. I wouldn't talk
about it this way. That's okay. I'm learning. I'm not letting old hurts from old wounds or like
whether old father, mother wounds, like come into the conversations, like in the here and now and
being like, oh, you're just like, so-and-so, you know, it's like, no, like I'm pressing in,
I'm pressing in, I'm pressing in. Something that Graham talks about often is like,
read the word back to the Lord. Read it back to God. Hey, Lord, you said, hey, Lord, you said,
do you remember that? And not from the same, not from a place of like begging or desperation,
but like to have a conversation. Hey, Lord, remember 10 years ago when you said through
three different people that I had this Deborah anointing? Can we talk about that? Like what's
on your heart for that? What does that look like? Are there any practical steps I can take?
Is there any, is there any people in my life that also share that anointing that I'm in
conversation with? Like, and then, you know, ask those clarifying questions. You don't have to sit
in confusion. You might not have the full picture. You might not have the full answer, but it doesn't
mean you can't have a conversation about it. It doesn't mean that you can't press in. I think this
for me was important because there was some passivity. I didn't realize that I was in because
I was like, well, I'm going to let it unfold. And again, I don't want to look crazy. I don't want
to look pompous. I don't want to look arrogant, which is all like pride. That's all. Yeah. I'm
trying not to be prideful. I'm being prideful by trying not to be prideful. Right. And it's like,
no, I need to seek out some things. Like the Lord is like, we see this in scripture, like,
seek me, you'll find me. Seek me with all your heart. You'll find me. You know, it talks about
the glory of God is to hide a matter of the glory of Kings is to seek it out. Embrace that mystery,
press in doesn't mean settle for the mystery.
Means embrace it and press in and have some conversation and, you know, seek it out
and practice that identity. That's why I think that identity statements like, hey, like I need
to have, like, I, I need to change my Instagram bio. Like, you know, I need to write this on the
mirror. Like it needs to be ever before me right now. That's how much I want to take it seriously.
We take scripture seriously often in those ways. Like, Hey, this first really speaks to me. I'm
going to memorize it, which is awesome. You know, I'm going to put it on my mirror. I'm going to put
it on my dash. Let's take the Ramah word of God seriously as well. Okay. I'm going to arise as a
mother. I'm gonna put that on my mirror. I'm gonna put that on my Instagram bio. It's okay. People
don't fully understand it. It's okay. It's a prophetic act for me to step out into something
and whatever it is for you, you know, make a t-shirt, buy a hat, but it's that important.
And Lord, what are some ways that even creatively I can agree with this word? I can step out and
agree. He's opening my eyes to things of like, even just practicing. Like, obviously I can,
I can expand into motherhood over my two girls. That's the most important, but also he's placed
some people in my life, like in my immediate local community. And there just, there needs to
be some nurture. So why not? Here's some opportunities for the few around you that
are just needing some nurture right now. And, and, and don't do it from a scarcity mindset.
So I've, this is like, you know, a safe space, but like, I'm in a place right now where local
community feels a bit dried up because the people that I have friendship with, like,
everyone seems to be in crisis and I don't want to like have, I don't want to add to their weight.
Right. So there's lots of ways you can unpack that, but there's a scarcity mentality in me.
It's like, Hey, am I just going to be like giving out in this season? Like,
am I going to have any friends like speaking into me? And he's like, what if that's,
what if it's true? Can I not satisfy? Can I not pour into you? Like, why, why does that matter?
And it's okay to answer. It doesn't mean it doesn't matter. Well, it matters.
because like I would love a friend like I would love I would love some ironing
sharpening iron okay I'll take care of it and it's timing I got it I see you
but don't let that stop you from walking in what I've called you to like your
mother you have it to give right so yeah I know we're coming up we have like
three minutes but I see you some I see some shaking heads I think this is
resonating I would really encourage like read Hebrews 11 and 12 and get
your own application for it you know look at the identity statements like
write it out it could just be a sentence like Kali you just got the one you got
that one thing from that woman like and that deeply resonated and I'm sure if
you unearthed other prophetic words there would be connection points but
like hey that's the word go that's the word go and make it make it make it
your goal to agree like every thought every word right like take the thoughts
captive that are not agreeing with that word the self-doubt the God doubt and
move and see what starts to become manifest by just acting on it one step
at a time the first step is thinking it you know I think it's Paul that writes I
believe therefore I speak I don't want to take that out of context but it just
came to my mind like I believe therefore I speak so I put you believe
it speak it live it act it out think it meditate on it and I believe there'll
be movement from that may see you too this is your yeah you're totally right
Lindsay that was that was really good really timely message that's kind of why
I shared it because I didn't want to be like I don't know there's a there's a
little bit of thoughts that come up let's like oh you don't need to like
brag about yourself or something but I wanted to speak it out because I this
whole time we've been you were saying to get an identity statement I just hadn't
been able to I just I don't know just the time and finding everything but I
just got it just came to me out of nowhere and it was it was like the like
the exact match I mean I felt like it just like matched me yeah words and
everything and so yeah just think it agree it speak it feel it believe it
feel it that's a good one that's a big one too yeah I'm aligned those emotions
with you know you won't always you won't always feel it at first but doesn't mean
you won't ever feel it and it's like what that is a great practice what does
it feel like like to your point to Holly something you spoke was talking about
even just the science behind when we visualize something it says it's taken
place yeah yeah it's as if it's which is very biblical because we just read it in
Hebrews you know it's the confidence and the assurance of what yet we do not
see yeah so I love that well I I love you guys I'm really excited to see
what's birthed from this like keep us also like in between calls like keep us
updated if there's like those wins and those steps that you're taking like hey
this happened I had this conversation I like there's no bragging in this group I
think that when we try not to brag it's like we're scheming and it's just
driving right like this is the place to tell all this is the place to do it
right so like do brag is what I mean to say like it's not bragging it's just
for its testimony and it's going to be a sign and a wonder to all of us to like
move us forward in this you're in the direction that we've been called so I
love you I love you ladies and we will talk soon