Hello, welcome. Welcome, welcome. We're back for another Monday night, you all. For those
of you that joined for the 1pm, you had a sneak surprise guest. Jackie Dorman joined
our one o'clock session this afternoon while I was traveling back to Fort Myers here in
Florida from our amazing retreat and our five year anniversary party. We partied, y'all,
so we couldn't party anymore. It was great. So celebrate with us. You know, I don't want
y'all to feel like you're missing out. I want you to understand that you're part of something
amazing that God is doing in this season to heal people, to set them free and create kingdom
families and marriages. And that's a legacy that you guys get to be a part of this movement
and everything that God did in the lives and the hearts of those that were there, as well
as at the five year anniversary party. I'm a firm believer that even when we pray during the day,
you know, during the week, we want you all to be there as much as you can. But even when you're
not there, I believe that what we're praying and releasing is getting to you, whether you
realize it or not. And so I believe the same thing from this retreat, the same thing from
the anniversary party that what God is releasing, it is available to you as well. So I just want
y'all to, even if you don't know what was said, just like, Lord, thank you for letting me receive
the overflow. And he knows exactly how to get you what you need from that. And so I just want to
encourage you in that and, and want you to know that regarding anything that we're doing, of
course, anything that you can get to in person is going to accelerate things for you. From my
experience, I went to our Austin retreat back in 2021. I also went to an event that Jackie was
speaking at in Tennessee in 2021. And not only did I make amazing friends through that, but God
did amazing things in my heart and life. And so, but if you can't come in person, come online, show
up online, show up in the groups, all the things that we talked to you about. If you've never met
me before, my name is Bethany Cooper. I'm one of the Master Heartwork Coaches here in the
community. We have Annette Lewis here, almost called you Winters. Annette, it almost came out.
She used to be Annette Winters. She's Annette Lewis. She's another success story from our
community. And I got to meet her for the first time in person last night. She's been on my team
for a while, you all. And I got to meet her and her husband last night. And now they are, you're
back in Canada as well now, correct? Oh, you're muted. Or I'm sorry. Are you in Washington?
Yeah, we're back in Washington. We just, it was a short night, long day. Here we are.
Yes.
It was worth it. It was worth it.
So much fun. So thanks for being here tonight. We have some awesome things to go through with the
artwork. Just a couple housekeeping things. Number one, welcome to all of our brand new ladies. If
you've never been to a live session before, this is literally your first live session. We'd love to
have you let us know that. Put that in the chat for us so that we can welcome you. To all my ladies
coming back, welcome back. It's good to see you. I'm excited for what God's going to do tonight. I
So glad to have you here with us. I don't even know what I was gonna say. Sorry, y'all lost my train of
thought. But Supernatural Saturday replay if you haven't heard it. Now when you see it says The
Siege is Over, I don't want you to think it's the same recording from a week or two ago. Jackie
talked about The Siege is Over a couple weeks ago. But this is like part two. This is kind of the
additional things that God has been downloading. She does do some recap, but it's powerful, you
all so check that out when you have time. Also the prophetic ministry night last night. I haven't
been able to check yet because of my travel, but I believe that was recorded like it was supposed to
be and that will come up in your replays as well probably tomorrow. Just y'all know just our whole
team was literally there last night. So that will come up. Yeah. Thanks, ladies for welcoming
everyone. Okay. Is it Yelizavita? Did I say that right? Am I even close? I don't know if she can
hear me. But welcome. Welcome to you. Anyone else that I didn't see that you said you were here for
your first time? We're so glad that you're here. All right, let me pray for us and go ahead and
open us up into what we're going to dive into tonight. Father, thank you so much for this
night. God, I thank you for just the blessings that flow down from heaven above on a regular
basis. God, even when we can't perceive it, even when our hearts need healing that keep us from
understanding the revelation of who you are as a good father. I thank you that that never changes
who
you are, that doesn't change your character.
God, I thank you that you would give us revelation
and upgrades tonight to receive the truth,
to replace every lie that we've been believing.
God, some lies we've been believing for our entire lives,
other lies it's been in the last few years.
God, I thank you that you would break off mindsets
of poverty, mindsets of orphan mentalities, scarcity.
God, fear that runs rampant within us.
God, that leads us to run away
instead of turning towards people and towards you.
God, I thank you that you would help us
to hear what your spirit is saying
louder than any voice of the enemy,
not only tonight, but in the days to come.
God, that we would, yes, Lord,
that we would be good soil that your seed is going into,
that it would bear fruit in due season, God.
And we thank you that we won't grow weary in well-doing.
For in due season, we will reap a harvest
for all the prayers that we've prayed,
the steps of obedience that you are leading us to do,
that we're taking.
God, I thank you that your Holy Spirit is here.
We say, Holy Spirit, welcome.
Thank you for being here with us.
I ask you to weave in and out of conversations,
in and out of the coaching and everything that is said.
Lord, let it be to your glory and your honor.
In Jesus' name, amen.
So tonight we're talking about revealing for healing.
Ladies, if you're brand new,
just so you know, this is kind of how it goes.
It doesn't matter what week you're on.
You come every week when you,
hopefully you can come every week,
but you come and you just,
you come in whatever week you're in,
and I'm going to coach on content
that might be in a different week, and that's okay.
Cause you're going to still receive revelation
that you need in that moment.
And then, you know,
it might help you understand that better when you come to it.
And so don't ever worry about like,
am I supposed to have a certain week done to come?
Just come every week, okay?
That's how it's going to work.
So I want you all to be, I'm going to show you,
this is in week three, I believe, if I'm not mistaken.
Forgot to check that out
to make sure I told you all the right thing.
And I'm going to pull this up on my screen.
Can you all see this?
All right, awesome.
Let me just reduce it slightly.
Hold on a second.
I need this thing to go away.
Oh, that's the wrong way.
There we go.
At least it, all right.
Now you guys can see the whole thing.
So this is what we call the revealing for healing cycle here
in the heart work, in the Last Year Single community.
And tonight I'm going to walk you through,
through my own life, using my own life and situations,
what the revealing for healing looked like
in some areas in my life.
Some lies I believed, as you can see, that's a part of that.
And again, I'm going to walk you through this,
but also all the way through to the truth.
So tonight we're going to start with negative emotions,
but one of the things I want you all to understand
is sometimes you might not know
what your negative emotion is,
but you might know what your trauma story is,
or you might know what the lie is that you're believing.
And so then you just kind of back it up
and ask God to reveal the additional areas, okay?
So don't worry about
if you don't know the negative emotion,
but I do want to try to help you start to identify
your negative emotions a little better
so that you can also connect it to the painful memories
and trauma stories that it's,
that they are associated with and all of those things.
And so tonight, as I start from my story,
the negative emotion overarching was fear,
a lot of fear, you all.
And when I say fear, I like legit used to run
from one side of the house to the other,
afraid of the dark, just a lot of fear in my life.
But tonight specifically,
I'm going to talk about fear around men, fear regarding men.
Anytime I would get around men,
not my grandfather felt safe around him.
I wasn't afraid around him,
but like men that I didn't know
or men that had certain personalities
and carried themselves in certain ways.
If the other thing I think of is even men
that I thought were attractive, I would feel fear.
And so there was just a lot of fear around men.
And from there, the painful memory.
Now, the way I like to describe painful memories
is it's like, if you think of an umbrella,
like an umbrella kind of like covers other things,
it's an overarching idea.
And so the painful memory for me was abused by men.
Okay, so it's more of the general concept
of what happened or what we've been through.
But the trauma stories,
that's where it's getting more specific.
So underneath of abused by men,
what were my trauma stories that were connected to that?
And mine were, there were several.
So I was sexually abused by my brothers.
I was also sexually abused by my sister
and she operated in masculine energy a lot.
You also, even though she was a female,
she acted like a man a lot in the way that she carried
herself and how tough and mean she was.
And not that all men are mean, but that was some of the things I used to believe, okay?
Also, I wrote down emotional, mental, physical, spiritual abuse, financial abuse that I went
through with my ex-husband.
We called them was-bans in this community.
And then there were two other stories that God brought to my mind when I put this content
together a few years ago.
And it was when I was younger, I went to this like home interiors party with my mom.
My sister was with us.
And all I remember, I don't remember a lot from that night, but I remember all of the
kids were sent upstairs and I didn't know the people's like, I didn't know the people
that we were with.
And I just remember there was this boy there that tried to, at one point he like, I don't
even know how it happened.
And I just remember all the other kids were no longer in the room and he was trying to
push this dresser in front of the door to like, keep me in the room with him.
And my sister like, pushed the door down, y'all, thank God, praise the Lord for that.
And then I remember us like running downstairs.
I have no clue what happened after that.
That's the only thing I can remember.
And this is where it's important y'all, we don't, I don't need to dig for those answers.
If God wanted me to know more about that situation, he would show it to me.
So I just want y'all to even hear me say that.
Sometimes I haven't even remembered to tell you all that, but I'm okay.
Like you, in the past, I used to be like, like I would always want to know the rest
of that story, right?
You know, I wanted answers and, and I just have come to a place where if God wants to
show me, he will show me.
And if I need to know it, he'll let me know it.
So the other, other one, very similar.
When I was in high school, I was with a group of friends.
We were teenagers at the time.
And a girl that I used to hang out with, I actually thought she was like my best friend,
which now hindsight, she was not a very good friend in a lot of ways.
But in one of the things that she did, she had this like squishy ball thing.
She put it down my shirt.
She shoved me in this bathroom.
And then the next thing I know, this boy that we went to high school with comes in and she
had given him the task of getting the ball.
And it was like this big game to them.
Well, I didn't think it was a game.
I freaked out y'all.
That wasn't fun for me.
And so I like was, I remember, and he was, he was laughing.
He like, he thought it was like, he wasn't trying to be mean.
I really don't think he was trying to harm me, you all.
But like, I did not feel safe.
And so I remember like panicking and like pulling on the bathroom door and she was holding
it closed from the outside.
It was just, it was just a mess.
So why am I saying all that to you?
I'm saying all of those things to you because each one had a similar thread.
It all goes back to men abuse.
I have to be afraid of men.
But here is the next thing, okay?
Which that leads into the lies.
And I kind of already said that, I guess, but the lies believed are revealed at that
point.
All men are abusive.
I need to be afraid of men.
So I kind of got ahead of myself there.
And then the God reveals truth.
We don't stop there.
So when I was in, just in church, you know, in learning, a lot of times the church does
teach you to reveal, like have the lie revealed, but they don't always teach you to go all
the way through the, to get the truth, to replace the lie.
They will tell you to declare things and that is good, but we need healing in the place
where those lies were taking root and connecting to those trauma wounds.
And so I'm going to just tell you a couple of the truths that God revealed to me in my
process in here.
And I'm going to give you a couple of scriptures.
So I'm big on, I like not only having a truth declaration, but I like to ask God to give
me a scripture that partners with that truth declaration.
That is something that I've done for years.
I feel like it's super powerful because then that gives me the truth that, you know, just
to declare out of myself.
And then I like to pray scripture out loud.
And so number one is you don't have to fear or be afraid.
I don't have to fear or be afraid of anyone, including men.
Isaiah 41 10 says, so do not fear for I am with you.
Do not be dismayed for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
I am recording, right?
Can you all see it recording?
OK, awesome.
Um, Isaiah 41 13 says, for I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, do not fear.
I will help you.
Another truth to replace the lie is I can trust God to protect me.
Hold on one sec.
And the scripture that I have with that one is Psalm 121, verse seven through eight.
The Lord will keep you from all harm.
He will watch over your life.
The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
And so one of the big things.
I get some pushback on this, is that, well, if that's the case, then why did you get abused at
all? Okay. Why did, you know, we're experiencing these things. Well, the reality is, is that
God gives man free will. All of us, we all have free will to choose. God wants us all to choose
the healthy thing, the right thing. I mean, you see that even playing out with Cain and Abel in
the Bible. One of the first stories where God is like, you know, just really giving him a way out
and he didn't take it. And there are a lot of people on the earth that don't, they don't walk
in the healthy path. And what I do know is that even like that situation where that boy was trying
to push that dresser in front of the door. I mean, my sister, I remember like she pushed that door
down. And so I do believe that God used my sister that night. And I do, I do see so many other times
throughout even the abuse and things that were happening where God was, was trying to help me out
of that situation. People showing up at the house, like all different things. And so I want you all
just to be praying. If you struggle to believe that God protects you or that he cares about
protecting you, I want to encourage you to pray about, you know, what lies are causing you to
partner with that. And then that God would show you the different times along your path that he,
like you, there was evidence that you knew he was protecting you.
One of the times, one of the ways I do this as well is there's a lot of times when we're driving
and sometimes I will recognize like, oh my gosh, like this car was coming into like into me and
they didn't even know I was there. And I'm not saying I always know God was there, but I just,
I really am confident when there's certain things, like when we were moving down here to Florida,
we had, you know, big U-Haul. Brian was driving that. I was falling behind and he kind of,
there was a guy that was starting to get over and that he kind of went off on the edge. Well,
I don't know if you guys have ever driven just even your car on the, you know, the bumpy part
that's supposed to slow you down and wake you up so you don't go off the road. Yeah. Well,
that's really helpful for the most part, unless sometimes you kind of get caught in that in the
wrong way and it can really throw the car, the vehicle around, especially when you have a big
vehicle. And that was kind of happening in the back of the, cause we were pulling my car behind
the U-Haul and it kind of started back, not fishtailing going out of control, but you could
tell like there was some stuff going on there. And I just started praying. And then like he was,
he got right back on the road and everything was fine. And so I just, I just, I'm confident that
there are so many times that we don't even realize that stuff. Right. And so as you're praying about
Lord, help me to see the times that you were protecting me, that you were there for me,
even times that, you know, maybe you already know them, but maybe there's some that you don't
recognize. And then I just want to kind of go through a couple other things I was talking or
when I was praying, I was praying about the soil of our hearts and how God, you know, really wants
to create that good soil so that when seeds are planted, that they can take root and not get
choked out by the cares of the world, by the lies that we believe. So if y'all didn't understand
some of the context of that scripture, it goes so much deeper than that. But I just want you to
understand that the cares of the world, those can be like the worries and the fears and all of the
things. And then it's also the lies that are in there, just choking the life out of that,
the seed that's being planted of truth. And so for some of you that you're like, man,
like, I feel like I go back and forth, like I believe, but then I start to like a day later,
I feel like I'm going backwards and struggling. Well, yeah, that's kind of that, that cycle of,
you know, as you get more breakthrough, you might not feel that tussle back and forth so much.
It might still be there at times, but the more truth you're getting in you and the more revelation
you're getting, it should kind of push that darkness out more and more. And I'm not saying
that y'all are, you know, full of bad things. I'm just saying we all have darkness, you know,
that's in us. And so the light of the world, Jesus came to literally rid us of darkness. And
He's the way that we can now enter into relationship with the Father and the Holy Spirit. And so He
wants to bring the light and the truth into any area that feels dark to you, that feels, you know,
you feel stuck. You don't know how to move forward. I'm telling you what, I saw some women get set
free from some massive stuff on this retreat, just things that you wouldn't even, small conversations,
times of prayer, like just, it's just an honest reminder of how much God is intentional to show up
and really meet us right where we're at to get us what we need. So I want you all to do your best
to always come with expectancy, not just to lives, but into the heart work as you're watching the
videos, as you're reading, even when, or if you struggle when you sit down to read, this happens
when I go to read my
Bible sometimes, I just feel like the enemy tries to distract me with, Oh, I got to get
this thing done. Or, Oh, oh my gosh, I forgot to do that last night. Or, you know, or maybe
it's just, I'm tired and I'm starting to fall asleep while I'm reading. Yes, this stuff
still happens to me. So I want you all to just really give yourselves a lot of grace.
If that happens when you're reading the word, if it's when you're reading the heartwork,
whatever it is, um, but just that you will. And I had a conversation with a couple, we
had a couple of heartwork ladies in at the retreat. And that was one of the conversations
I had with one of them. Uh, that was something she was struggling with. And I just want
you to know that it happens and you're not alone. If you feel that as you're going through
the heartwork, but just keep, you know, uh, moving one step forward. One of the things
I did tell her, and I feel like this relates to the revealing for healing. So that's why
I'm sharing it is yes. Sometimes distraction is just the enemy distracting us. He's kind
of attacking our minds, but there are other times that distraction is actually like, um,
a self preservation technique. Like we're afraid to go to the next step subconsciously.
And so, because that fear is in there subconsciously of maybe we're in, we feel like, I'm not sure
if I'm ready for the forgiveness step, or I'm not sure if I'm ready for phase two or
whatever those fears are that are rising up that can cause distraction. The Lord can reveal
what the root of that is. So that's the thing I want you all to be praying about. What's
the root of my, like getting distracted where I'm not able to keep moving forward in the
heartwork, where I'm struggling with, you know, Oh my gosh, something feels overwhelming.
And so then I start to isolate and pull back again, instead of leaning in. That was another
thing I talked to a lot of ladies about on the retreat, when we feel that fear and we
want to run and isolate. No, that's the enemy's invitation to you. That's a technique that
you've learned because of trauma, because of brokenness. God is all about family connection,
closeness, intimacy, like into me. See, he wants to know you like he knows everything
about you, but he wants you to tell him how you feel. He wants to hear what you're thinking.
He wants to hear your voice. He loves to hear your voice. And so even with other people,
God is saying, I want you to lean in. I want you to get vulnerable and share some of those
things that you're terrified to share. Because when you share them, ladies, as soon as you
bring those things out of darkness into the light, even if you don't understand this,
I'm telling you, this is truth. It will bring breakthrough in you in ways that you can't
comprehend right now. And so keep doing those things. Keep taking those steps. Super important.
So I started talking about the soil of your heart. The heart is a womb. And so I want you
to remember, as I was talking about a little bit last week, everything that gets planted
into our hearts will be reproduced. So what are we currently allowing to be planted in our
hearts? What lies have gotten in this week, ladies? I want you to think about this. You
guys are revealing for healing cycle tonight. And if you don't know what your emotions are,
which I'm going to have you guys activate here in a minute, I want you to think about
what lies came in this week that you've been meditating on and thinking about, because
that's what causes it to then get planted back down in your heart again. So what I want
you to do in the chat for me is I want you to, and you're going to do this in your breakout,
but I just want to see if some of you all can identify a negative emotion. So it could
be, it could have been today. It could have been yesterday. It could have been in the
past week. I want you to put in the chat for me a negative emotion that you experienced.
Okay. Heaviness, sadness, fear, confusion, loneliness, depression, another fear I saw,
a lack of confidence, doubt, resentment, overwhelmed, sadness, fear and anxiety. Okay.
Awesome. Crankiness. Okay. That's anger. Hopeless. Maybe not be physically healed. Rejection.
Incompetency. All right. You guys can keep those going. Deep sorrow. Okay. So we have
two there that sound kind of similar. I'm going to go back and look at what Megan, the
way she said that. Heaviness. I feel like those kind of go together, ladies. Those are
similar emotions there. Jealousy, distrust, inferiority. All right. Uninvited. Glenna,
you're always invited. You're always invited. All right. So you guys can keep putting those
in there, but I want to touch on, as you're, as you're thinking,
about these I want to go back because as soon as I read when Megan said heaviness
I heard the Lord say that heaviness has been a family generational thing for
you Megan I know I was gonna looking for you on the screen here and so it is real
to you but the Lord wants you to know that's been passed down through
generations that's not the reason it feels so heavy is that it's not just
yours it's family line and so I want you to as this happens really work on not
partnering with I can't do this I can't do this this is too much if you have any
kind of thoughts like that anyone else that this is resonating with that we
don't partner with those thoughts because we can feel these things but
it's really important for us to do our best to not partner with that we can't
because the reality is as Christ in us the hope of glory can enable us to do
all things everything y'all I traveled I got three hours of sleep last night I
traveled really early this morning I've slept on and off but I felt pretty tired
before I got on and I just prayed like Lord these ladies need some good stuff
they don't need me to get on here tired so I need you to give them what they
need help me just to be a vessel and trust you and you know I literally since
I started talking as soon as I went live I feel more energy right now that I
have the entire day and so I want you all to understand like whatever it is
that we need he will meet us right there and so there are other people I saw
things to there but as soon as I saw that for Megan I heard that and so I
needed to share that and again if if I say things to someone else in this group
y'all when I'm coaching and you are resonating with that just like we say on
the prayer calls you know you can receive that for yourself because God is
probably highlighting to you that to you as I'm speaking to someone else and
that can give you breakthrough as well you know what what one breakthrough
person what break when one person gets breakthrough it can create breakthrough
for everybody else it really can so maybe yours is something different but
sometimes we don't understand why something feels so heavy there's a
difference between sadness and despair and I feel like despair connects with
that Megan okay and so part of the reason that that that gets so deep and
heavy is there's a stronghold there strongholds are created by the repeated
instances of something happening and then we without realizing it we
subconsciously partner with a lie and that reinforces that stronghold within
us and so we don't have to be afraid of that though because God is more than
able to break down any stronghold so I want y'all to remember that as I'm
telling her that telling you that but just in the days ahead that you guys
these these emotions that you've identified I want you to be thinking
about the revealing for healing cycle that I walk through so I'm gonna pull
that back up so you can see it one more time we're not gonna do the whole thing
right now but I just want you to kind of think about so you know that negative
emotion now okay so what is the painful memories remember the overarching idea
or concept and if you're not sure about that one I feel like the painful memory
can be the one of the toughest ones for people so then just go right to the
trauma story so this negative emotion what's the trauma story that connected
to that and then what were the lies you heard as a result of it all right and
we'll come back to this but I just wanted to kind of kind of reinforce that
thought because it will help you when you go into their breakout rooms what if
we don't have painful memories or trauma stories but there are negative emotions
lies well so that's that's not possible you would have to have both lies that we
believe and fear and all of that is absolutely because at some point we've
had you know trauma it doesn't always have to be big massive trauma there there
can be smaller scale trauma that people experience or negative situations wounds
that they go through that cause those things but typically I've never seen
someone have fear and not have trauma or a wound somewhere they go together and
so let's see around relationships and sometimes pain around yeah yeah and I
think more for you is it's that you need God to reveal the root of these things
okay you need God to reveal what the trauma or the wounds are that you've
experienced and it's okay if you don't know that answer right now remember you
don't have to dig we don't get out our shovels and heart work we allow the Lord
to reveal for heal could a person numb out and not recall tell me more what you
mean Lisa you can unmute yeah I was just referencing okay I'm not sure if I know
how to pronounce your name you'll Zaveda how she was yeah how she was saying you
know
What if you don't have painful memories or trauma stories, but there are negative emotions? So I was
wondering, like, is it possible somebody could numb out from trauma and not make any connection
there? Right? Yeah, sure. And the reality is, is sometimes God removes those memories from our
brain, because we wouldn't be able to, we wouldn't be able to handle it. And so in the right season,
he will reveal it if we need to know it. Okay. And so sometimes you might not know again, what
the fear the excuse me, the wound or the trauma is, because you may not remember because God,
your body will also physically like God created our bodies to like protect us, our brains will
go into protective mode when there's something that's happening to us, or that we're experiencing
that is too much for us to handle in that time. And so God has made us very resilient in that
regard. And so yeah, typically, that is something that I encourage people to just pray about. And
even if it doesn't come right away, it's totally fine. So don't feel any pressure to know those
answers right away. I'm going to read something real quick from the heart workbook for you all
and then we're going to get ready. I'm going to explain a couple more things and then we're going
to get ready to go in the breakouts. Alright, so this is from chapter. Let me see if I can find it
five. I think I was in five last week too, but this is just a little part
of chapter five. When God uses the word good.
Yeah, I want to make sure I didn't want to start somewhere else. Yeah, when God uses the word good,
He isn't talking about our human standard of good. He is referring to His standard of good.
So maybe you do have a little something working out in your life, but is it God's version of good
yet? Probably not. And that's why we are here. We want more. Most of us have a tendency to live
in crisis mode, only focusing on the areas that are a complete train wreck and not realizing
there's an upgrade available in every area of our life. If we are willing to be shown what we cannot
see yet. The state of your life has everything to do with your experiences and your perception
of those experiences. Do y'all understand that? So not just what we go through, but how we perceive
them and then the lies that we hear and subconsciously partner with. These unhealed
wounds that are harboring fears, lies, and that's kind of an answer to what she was asking there as
well. These unhealed wounds that are harboring fears, lies, and false narratives create havoc
in that area of your life as they mature and manifest through emotions like shame, guilt,
unworthiness, and fear. These are powerful emotions that can begin to lead to all types
of painful behaviors, which are the problems. So remember, we want to get to the root of the
problem. This isn't about behavior modification, which is short term. This is about inner healing
and long-term transformation that we would out of the overflow of understanding God's love for us
and the healing that we would choose differently. All right, so when God uses that word good,
just remember, his version of good is different than your version of good. Even regarding your
spirit mate, people have fears all the time that God's going to make them be with someone that
they're not, they don't even like, that they're not even attracted to. Y'all, that's not a good
That's not a good father. That sounds like a torturer, doesn't it?
God is not a torturer. He is a loving father. And so the areas where we have the most problems,
where we are stuck the most, those are signals to us that we have unhealed wounds in those areas.
So if we're struggling, again, kind of back to her example there, if we're struggling with fear
in certain areas, well, that is a signal saying, okay, there's an unhealed wound here.
Whether we realize what it is or not. Proverbs 23 7, and this is from the amplified version,
you all. It says, for as a person thinks in his heart, her heart, so is he. As a person thinks in
his heart, so is he. So you don't have to put this into the chat, but I want you to pause and
think about this as well. When you had those negative emotions, whenever they occurred,
what were the thoughts that you had in your heart about yourself and your life?
It's saying, for as a person thinks in his heart, so is he. So if we're, if we're thinking on
negative things and we're ruminating on those negative things, y'all will guess what's going
to manifest in our life. Those aspects, right? Jackie, you know, talks a lot about when we build
walls, we attract thieves. And it's so true. It's so true. So if you're not sure how to let
your walls down, ask the Lord to help you. And I love, I love to remind you all.
that God doesn't typically bring in a wrecking ball.
Again, that's fear-based. That's the wrong perception of God.
From my experience, God helped me take the wall down, the walls. I had more than one brick by brick,
you know, as I was ready. And he helped me understand that I was safe because he was with me.
Okay. All right. Flies, lies, and counterfeit lives. Remember that the flies come in. We talked
about that a couple weeks ago. And they plant their little larvae right in the core where they
get a good old juicy wound to eat off of and thrive and lay more eggs and all the things.
And that's how they reproduce, right? And then we start living into these counterfeit identities
without even realizing that we are. We pick people that we should never pick. We know they're not
good for us, but we go ahead and blow past red flags and we just keep on going. We convince
ourselves that there may never come another person, so we better just date this person.
No, y'all, that's not truth. And this isn't just even about romantic things. I will tell you guys,
so many people in our community that struggle with, like myself included,
with financial situations and dynamics, it goes back to the heart. It goes back to,
you know, what we believe about money, orphan mentalities, limited belief systems. It goes
back to brokenness and things that we experienced as, you know, kids growing up, things that we
heard our parents saying. And so if you are someone that, you know, habitually struggles
financially, I really want to encourage you to be praying into what's the root of that.
You know, Lord, where do you want to heal? What do you want to heal in me so that that doesn't
continue in my life in the days to come? That you are a lender and a lender and not a borrower.
That is who, that's our, that is what God has called us to be in this kingdom or in his kingdom
here on earth. You know what I'm saying? So like, I want you to not partner with, I'm just, I've
always been in debt. I'm all, I've always had money problems. I can't ever get out of this hole.
You might feel like that right now, but I promise you as you heal, if you choose differently
and you start to do different things that God is leading you to do with your money,
you will be able to shift the way that your life is.
Little by little by little, ladies, as we get breakthrough, then we can get more revelation.
Then that can give momentum to get the next breakthrough and then the next breakthrough.
And so we just have to keep going and asking God for another upgrade and insight so that we can
make different decisions. And then also reminding you all that sometimes we have these squatters in
our hearts. If you weren't on in that session, again, I'm kind of circling back. We're starting
to head back towards that content, but squatters are people that come in and take residence in a
home that is not theirs. They, they, they think it's empty, but it, because nobody's currently
living there. And in certain States, when it gets really cold, there's actually laws to protect
these squatters and you can't remove them from your home. It's kind of crazy, but I want you
to understand that there are squatters in your heart. There's, there's these lies that have come
in your heart and they've taken up residence and they don't belong there. And guess who the only
person is that can kick them out? You. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, understanding and
getting revelation that, you know, Hey, this isn't truth. This doesn't belong in my heart.
This is not aligned with God's destiny for me. God, God's called me to like, to, uh, into marriage
and into family. Well, if he's calling you into marriage and family, you all, then why are we
believing the lie that it's never going to happen for us? Well, that's an old tape. That's an old
record that's still playing that we need to get to the root of why, why is that still in there?
Why is that still something we're believing and partnering with? Um, and maybe yours is a
different lie, but I'm just using that as an example. So remember these squatters are enemies
to your breakthrough and your progress. So that's why we want to kick them out and we want to serve
them in eviction notice. And we're going to do that a little bit more tonight. So your question,
when you go into breakout is what is a negative emotion or memory that God is bringing up in your
spirit tonight for revealing for healing. So some of you, you can use the emotion you put in the
chat. You might not already know that that's what you want to talk about. Maybe for you, it's
actually a memory that came up as I've been talking tonight. So you're going to go in there.
What is the negative emotion or memory that God is bringing up in your spirit tonight for revealing
for healing? Before we do that, I know that I didn't give you a heads up Annette, because I
couldn't remember last night when you left, if you were going to be able to be on tonight. And so if
you have anything that came to mind, no pressure if you don't, but anything that you feel led to
on the revealing for healing, feel free to share.
I also
struggled with fear around a lot of things. It fear really kept
me prisoner in, in my own life. And when I would have the
feelings, and and I would think back or think to events, really
fear dominated my life. And it gave me a lot of opportunity to
experience freedom, because when I prayed into it, and God would
just reveal things to me. And I'm trying to come, I'm trying
to have something even simple come to mind. Because I just
anticipated the worst, like as an overall principle, if if
something could happen, I anticipated that it was the
worst case scenario that was going to happen. And God has
really checked my heart, and my thought process and is really
speaking to me in so many different avenues, even now,
because I've had healing in my heartwork, but new things come
up all the time, new layers, new things, it's like, I didn't even
realize that and the Holy Spirit will reveal things to me of
feelings that I've had, that I've continued to have, but I
haven't identified. Like Bethany said, I've just trusted him to
reveal the things to me in the time that it needs to be
revealed. And sometimes I'm like, why didn't I get that
sooner? But it's just been layer upon layer upon layer that
really has shifted my mindset to I will when I'm brushing my
teeth in the morning, speak scripture, well, maybe not while
I'm blowing and brushing my teeth blowing, you know,
toothpaste bubbles everywhere. But I will all think scripture
over over me for the day. I have a lot of body image issues that
I have to overcome. And so I will still say to the I am
fearfully and wonderfully made. And if a negative thought comes
to my mind about something with my appearance, God's brought
that up to me to where I'll think about something that is
true about me what God's Word says about me, so that I don't
continue to speak those negative things over me. And that that's
been a those kind of things have been big for me. It's, I know
that's not a specific example. But there's just many times
where I am amazed at the transformation that happens when
you just, you know, that your thoughts are going south, or
that fear or something is coming up. And when you speak the truth
of what God's Word says, it really brings a shift into just
a lightheartedness and a peace that comes when you're standing
in God's Word.
So good, and it's okay that there wasn't a specific like
honed in, because what you were saying was really, really good.
I the reality is, is, you know, the enemy is gonna, he's gonna
come against our minds, ladies, but we, the Word declares that,
you know, through Christ Jesus, we can guard our hearts and our
minds, you know, and that is truth. And so God can help us
overcome all of that. Thank you so much for sharing that, Annette.
Okay, so what negative emotion or memory is God bringing up for
you for revealing for healing tonight? Let me get these
breakout rooms ready. Eloise was with us last night. I see her on
here now. Hi, you might have been on already. And I just
didn't see you before now. But
it took me almost half an hour to get on. I've just been
standing in traffic, trying to get this computer to work. So
praise the Lord that you're here. Yeah. All right. So good
to see everybody. Last night. Just amazing.
Let's do we'll do eight minutes. So each person have a couple
rooms that there might be three people, but I might depending on
where everyone lands, have to shift some people around.
Remember, if you get into a room and nobody's talking, or maybe
the person's just not there yet. Okay. Sometimes some people's
internet lags. So give them a little bit of time. If I see
people drop off and you're sitting there by yourself, don't
panic. I'll move you around. I can see all that on the back
end. Okay. And remember that you're not here to coach other
people. Lady is really, really important. You are helpers in
here. You guys are always wanting to help each other get
breakthrough. All you need to do tonight is share your story,
share your revealing for healing. And and all you need
to say if you're the person listening is thank you so much
for trusting me with your story. And you guys can talk about Oh
my gosh, yeah, I relate to that. You can say that kind of stuff.
But don't don't go into advising or trying to figure out their
stuff for them.
Okay, that's my job, that's Annette's job.
And so you guys just get to be here as sisters
and cheer each other on, okay?
Super important.
All right, this is gonna pop up on your screen there.
Go ahead and click to join those.
And as soon as I get a lot of them situated,
we will start to pray.
All right.
Hey, Bethany.
You must be having the same issue again.
Yeah, it's so crazy.
I don't know how to solve it for you, unfortunately.
I literally don't know how to help you
with what's happening.
I would really encourage you to look on Zoom,
like in Troubleshoot,
you need to make sure you have
the most recent version of Zoom.
If you don't, it's gonna cause problems for you.
Okay, let me try to go figure that out.
Okay.
All right, Father, we just thank you so much
for everything that you're doing.
We thank you, God, for revealings,
for healing that are happening.
I pray that you would help Lisa be able to figure out
this tech issue that keeps happening.
God, that can be so frustrating.
I pray that you would just pour into her abundantly
right now as she's looking into that.
And even as just this has been happening for several weeks,
God, I thank you that you would be with all the ladies
in the breakout, those that are gonna watch this replay,
that you would help them to be able to process
all the things that you are showing them,
God, the things that you're bringing to the surface,
even things that they don't understand,
God, I thank you that even as Elisa Veda
was saying earlier that she's experiencing fear
and things at times, Lord,
I pray that you would reveal any wounds or trauma
or anything from the past that created these lies
and the fears to be there.
God, I thank you that you're an amazing promise keeper
that you lead us into all truth.
Oh, Damaris, sorry.
I thought that maybe you weren't going in.
Let me move you.
Could I also be put in a group too, Bethany?
Yeah, Sarah, I don't see, oh, Damaris came back.
Okay, cool.
Damaris, I just sent that your way.
Sarah, I don't see you.
I don't know why I don't see you in the list here
and it doesn't show a new joiner.
Hold on one second.
Let me just scroll and make sure I'm not missing anything.
Oh, here you are.
It just says that you never joined the room.
Send me a new one, okay.
Okay, thank you.
You're welcome.
So Lord, we just thank you that you're continuing
to weave in and out of conversations.
Lord, I pray that you would bring things out of darkness
into the light that are needed,
that are necessary for them to get unstuck
in areas where they might've felt stuck.
We thank you, God, for connecting dots
in the spirit realm, even right now,
and in the days to come, God,
that things that have happened to us,
things that we've done, even choices we've made
that have hindered things in us,
that have brought brokenness or shame,
any kind of guilt or condemnation
that the enemy's putting on us.
God, I thank you that you would just remove those off of us
like weights just being removed.
It makes me think of that right now,
they're so popular as these weighted vests
that these people are all wearing.
And I actually bought one and I just haven't worn it yet,
but it's just like shedding that when you're finished,
you know, working out,
that we would remove that stuff off of ourselves.
And so I'm just asking God to help us to see in the spirit
what he sees and to cling to what he's speaking.
And it says in 1 Peter 5, 8,
stay alert, watch out for your great enemy, the devil.
He prowls around like a roaring lion,
looking for someone to devour.
And so Lord, we thank you that while he is,
you know, prowling around,
looking for ways that he can devour us, excuse me,
God, that you and your word declare
that you raise up a standard against him, God,
that you war on our behalf.
And so Lord, we thank you that there in you,
we can have peace and you,
we can have confidence that we are secure in you.
God, we thank you that you would help us
to recognize that more and more.
Ephesians 6, 12 says,
for we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies,
but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world,
against mighty powers in this dark world
and against.
evil spirits in the heavenly places. Again, God is light. Jesus is the light. He conquered all
darkness. And so as we partner with him, as we, you know, plead the blood of Jesus Christ,
we stand in that truth. And then God can enable us to overcome all of these, you know,
evil things that were against us. Proverbs 18 verse 19, it is easier to conquer a strong city
than to win back a friend whom you've offended. Their walls go up, making it nearly impossible
to win them back. And so, Lord, I thank you. Just even tonight, I just feel led to pray over
friendships. And so I declare in Jesus' name that there would be healing in relationships,
that there would be healing in friendships. God, where there's been brokenness, where there's been
offense that has led to bitterness or resentment, unforgiveness, God, we just, we just thank you,
Lord, for the balm of Gilead, that you would place that upon the wounds of our hearts,
our souls, our spirits, God, that you would help us to forgive those who have harmed us,
those who have ghosted us, those who have walked out on us, and it triggered abandonment in us.
And I thank you, God, for speaking the truth in love to us. God, help us to see what we couldn't
see even just an hour ago. I thank you, God, that, you know, sometimes people are removed because
they're not healthy for us in the season that we're in. But Lord, I thank you that you would
help us to understand, you know, is the person, have they been removed by you? Or is this something
the enemy caused that that person partnered with or that division that came? And Lord, we just
declare a spirit of reconciliation, a spirit of forgiveness, a spirit of healing to be evident in
our lives in every area. Exodus 20 verse 6 says, I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations
on those who love me and obey my commands. I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations
on those who love me and obey my commands. So earlier, you know, I was talking to Megan about
that heaviness and how I really believed God was showing me that that was a generational thing in
her family. Here's the truth. God is saying that he lavishes unfailing love for a thousand generations.
He's the one that comes in and he redeems our timeline. He walks all throughout our timeline
and he can redeem anything, any generational thing that we're up against, any situation that we've
endured. He can come in and heal all of those things and we can trust him to love us all the
way through. Earlier, I was talking about, you know, how, you know, as we guard our hearts and
minds through Christ Jesus that, you know, that freedom and that truth can come. Here's another
scripture for you. Second Corinthians 10 5, we take captive every thought and make it obedient
to Jesus Christ. So when those thoughts come that we're saying, okay, yeah, no, I'm not going to
receive that in Jesus name. I'm going to take that captive. I'm going to cast that down and instead
choose to believe what the word of God says. Well, if you don't know what the word of God says about
the opposite of whatever that lie is, then literally you can go online and just like, if,
you know, if you are battling fear, I'm just going to use that because we're talking about that a
little bit tonight. You can literally go online and type it on Google or whatever search engine
you use, scriptures, excuse me, scriptures regarding fear and just see what all comes up.
And then what scriptures are ministering to you, what scripture can help you cast that,
you know, down and, and make it obedient to Christ that you don't have, you know, fear.
And so for mine, it was, um, let's see if I get this right. Second Timothy one seven.
Is that right? Maybe for, I don't have a spirit of fear, but a spirit of love and of power and
of a sound mind. I think it's second Timothy one seven. Um, and so I've partnered with that a lot
and I would declare it, not just like I would declare it like that, but then I started saying,
I, and at the time I was Bethany Stanko, I Bethany Stanko don't have a spirit of fear.
I have a spirit of love and of power and of a sound mind. And I declared that
even in the most intense attacks of fear that I was going through, I declared that truth.
And I did it over and over and over again. Y'all, I still, I still face that fear. I still face some
of those things, but over time, the more that I declared the truth, the less the enemy had a hold
on me in those areas. And so I just want you to know, sometimes it takes repetition. Sometimes
it takes time. You know, we're retraining our brains to think about truth instead of the lies.
And so don't be hard on yourself. Just know that you will get there and it's going to be really
great. Some hands are already up. That's awesome. I'm going to give you your activation for this
week. And here's what it is. Create a post in the group this week on one of the following questions.
And again, I'll post this in the group. So don't, you don't feel like you have to put it up or,
you know, hurry and write this. Number one, what squatters are you evicting this week?
You know, and I was talking about what.
eyes? What are the things that are taking up residence in your heart that don't belong there?
Number two, who do you who do you pretend to be? And what mask do you need to remove? So we talked
about that a little bit before, but I want you to be talking or thinking about that more. I am going
to mention a couple of the squatters that I have recognized in people's lives over the years,
including mine. And it is passivity, inactive, unreactive, inert. Are you someone that who
really struggles with being really passive and even maybe passive aggressive? If that's you,
that is not God's plan for you. That is called a squatter that's taking up residence in your heart.
Inferiority, always thinking you're inferior to other people that you're not good enough. That's
not truth. Cultural and family norms, like what are the things that you have learned through the
culture that you were raised in or your family that are not aligning with the truth of God's
poverty, mindset, lack, victimhood, religious mindsets. And if you're not sure if you have
religious mindsets, you know, as you continue to share in here, I promise you before long,
we're going to be able to help you spot those things. Scarcity, addictive behaviors, you know,
wanting or needing something to medicate your pain, whether that's, you know, wine, whether that's
um, um, sorry, I just needed to pause and just hear what the Lord is saying, whether that's, um,
wine or some kind of actual medication or indulging in movies. Um, for some, it could be porn. It
could be, you know, doing any kind of addictive behavior. Y'all hear what I'm saying? Anything
that doesn't look like Jesus Christ, and you're doing it to numb yourself and to escape your
current reality that you don't want, you don't want that in your heart. You want to, um, ask God
to help you forgive yourself, be set free from that, and create space for the new things God
has for you. And then the last one is bitterness. Y'all, the Bible talks a lot about don't let a
bitter root take root. It's like bad. It quenches the flow of the Holy Spirit. So if you are someone
that struggles with a lot of bitterness, there is hope for you. Okay. So don't get scared,
but understand that, you know, underneath of that bitterness is sadness. It's hurt. There's
all kinds of things under there, but God wants you to forgive the people that have harmed you.
Forgive yourself. He wants you to let go of resentments and bitterness and unforgiveness
and step into the river of life that is flowing, and it's flowing into your life if you'll let it.
All right. Awesome. So Kalandra would love to hear what you have to say.
Yes, ma'am. I love my group. We had two ladies in there, and we all just were able to encourage
each other, and the first one was me having to give up a lot of church hurt, which was actually
surprising for me because I love the Body of Christ. I've always been involved in church,
but many years ago, I was involved in a mega church where the leader fell, and it was really
hard. I dated his son. You know, I came from a broken home, so that family was so instrumental
in my life, and they'd fallen from grace. I've since then seen them and loved them and believe
in redemption, but it was a huge, huge fall. The church fell apart. It was an international scandal,
all the things. I was in church this Sunday, and I just feel like through all this material about
hope and where hope has been lost or stagnant or things or squatters, there has been this
guardedness. When I'm at church, I'm like, why am I always on my phone? I can't really sit still.
It's hard for me to focus. It's hard for me to get into the sermons, and I go to a great church,
y'all. I love them. They helped me through my divorce. I have nothing but good to say about
the church. It's a healthy church, healthy leadership, but there is always me feeling
like I'm on the outside looking in, and I'm not really connecting, and it was this squatter of
guardedness, of defensiveness, of this doubt of saying, oh, well, they're going to let me
down no matter what, so I have to protect myself. That was number one, and then two,
the other ladies may chime in and relate on is, yes, I've been divorced, and I've dated the wrong
guys, not living like we're married but not married, and so that squatter of having to make
due, having to settle, having to, well, what's the point of being married? I just got to get by
for the seat, this mindset of just, no, I want real covenant love, and so I am ready to
go after these core, what is keeping me from not really connecting with people, from a healthy man,
from church, my community, like this isolation, this squatter of isolation. I love this. I love
that you're bringing this up, and that, yes, again, you know, God leads you guys here a lot
of the time for your spirit mate, but he's doing so much more in all of you, and, you know, the
revelations that you're getting, Calandra, are huge, and I am so glad that you recognize that
even just constantly being
on your phone or being able to sit still, it was actually leading to something else that was under
the surface there. And so I'm excited that you're recognizing it. I want to encourage you to ask the
Lord to reveal, now you know when they fell and you know the whole thing there, but I want you
to ask the Lord to reveal the first time you would experience any kind of church hurt. And maybe that
was the first time, but I just want you to check and make sure, and make sure there's not additional
layers underneath of that that also need healing. Because we can pick things up, you know, along the
way all the time. If you guys kind of imagine carrying a bag on a walk, if you were just
walking, you know, on a little mini hike, and along this road, they're like, you're walking on kind of
like a stony road, if you will. And along that walk, every now and then you pick up a rock and
you're like, oh, this is a cool rock. I'm going to put it in my bag. And then you walk a little
further and you're like, oh, this is a cool rock. I'm going to put this in my bag. Now this is a little
different. Like if we go through things, we're not necessarily like, oh, this is a cool rock. I'm going
to put this in my bag. No, we're going through pain and there's something that's hurtful that's
happening. But the reality is, is there's a rock that's getting put in your bag. That's what I'm
trying to say. And so we can end up on further down on this journey and have all this weight
in this bag that we're carrying and not even know it's there. That's, that's truth. Like you guys,
sometimes we, and again, we're not always the one picking it up, but sometimes we are
subconsciously when we're partnering with these lies, if you want to look at it that way. And so
I love that she's recognizing this. God wants to heal you and set you free because you are an
amazing church. It sounds really awesome, but he wants you to be able to fully connect and fully
engage there, you know, and be really all in versus kind of there. But, you know, again, with those
walls up where people may not actually be able to get to know the vulnerable aspects of you.
And I look forward to hearing how that goes as you lean into that a little more. So great, Megan, go ahead.
So I actually had something that kind of tied in with a couple of things this week.
So this week I did get to go on like a walk with the Lord, which was amazing, and just like
be outside, enjoy nature, and really received a lot of peace. But I really felt like the enemy
attacked me a lot today with that like heaviness. And just so I applied for this one job and gotten
through some interviews, but then they had asked some stipulations that were just wanting me to be
in another state tomorrow. And I was like, that's kind of unreasonable. So just kind of processing
if I should continue or not felt kind of heavy today, but it was just praying about it.
And then I got a phone call from my brother today saying he just got a job offer and it was like
everything he needed. It sounds amazing. It's like all these things. And he has been, I have been
applying longer than he has. And so like I'm really happy for him, but there obviously were some lies
that came in. But one thing I wanted to say was that they were quieter than what they have been
in the past. So that was good. But it was just like, yet again, you're being left behind or
you know, he's always getting to do things first, like stuff like that. Like he's married,
has two kids. So those like, and I'm the oldest, so it's just that like, rooted lie in some ways.
And it brought up a lot of like victimhood, which I'm like, that's something that needs to be
evicted. And yeah, so I was just kind of tired of the victimhood and just trying to like,
take ownership of those lies and deal with them. But yeah, so that's kind of like what
just happened about three hours ago. So it's pretty fresh.
Yeah. So on that, great job on owning it. Okay. And recognize that that's what those thoughts
are rooted in. I want to encourage you to ask the Lord, when is the first time I viewed myself as a
victim? Okay. Whether it was connected to your brother or someone else, just when is the first
time Lord, like I postured as a victim. And let's see what he shows you on that. But I actually have
an idea for you as well. Do you know, I don't know if you remember when I've kind of said to
people to take just like an eight and a half by 11 sheet of paper and do like a mini vision board.
I want you to do one regarding jobs, but not just like what kind of job you're looking for. I want
you to ask God to give you a vision for even how you're going to posture yourself as you look for
a job. Okay. So it might be words like, or phrases, you know, there might be phrases
that you cut out pictures, but like what came to mind is I am successful.
I attract a great job, you know, and you can even create some of them on a computer as you feel led
and print those out or whatever, draw them on there, whatever you feel led to do. But I just,
for whatever reason, I, you know, we've chatted about your job so many times, and I've not felt
led to give this to you. But tonight, that's what's coming up. Because I think like hearing
you talk about, you know, your brother getting a job and this comparison that's coming in
to play here, even before you start talking about that, I felt like God was saying you
needed to get a better glimpse of what he has for you. And the reality is, is that,
you know, your brother, it may look like he's always getting things first, but they're,
that's taken root somewhere too. So let's see where that lie, when's the first time you believe
that lie. And let's, you know, see what the Lord might want to uncover there as well. So that's
a lot, but I would do them, you know, pray about the root victim first, and you don't have to
complete the vision board all just in this week. Like you can work on it over the next week or two,
but I do think you working on that will help you. Again, it's about partnering with the truth
regarding your, the job God has for you and the journey towards getting the job. So life-giving
words, life-giving pictures, you know, things that it might be, even if like, let me say this
too, even if you, there's a job that you would love to have, but in your mind, there's something
that tells you, yeah, you you're probably not going to get that right now. I don't want you
to hold back from putting something on that board. I want you to dream a little bit. I want you to
really connect with your heart and what is it that you would love to be doing?
And ladies, it's really important to understand something. If we are walking, and it's not her
fault, there's been, you know, there's things that she's been through that have caused her
to subconsciously partner with victim. But anytime we're walking in victim, you know,
when we go on interviews or even when we're sending our resume out, whether we understand
it or not, it's connected to those victim mindsets and postures, right? And so that shows
up on the other side of things. And so it can actually hinder us from, you know, getting a job
or, you know, our resume being highlighted to two people. And so I want you to partner to that,
God, I believe that you're going to highlight me to the right employer. Okay, that just came up
to. So we'll be praying for you. Yes, you're welcome. Thank you for sharing with us. Angie,
go ahead. Sorry, um, I, I have been at this journey of trying to uncover lies and do inner
healing for far over a decade. So I think there's this, I, so I have deep cycles of sorrow and
just feeling stuck. And, um, there's a lot of layers, but I know it started when I was 12.
And I just, I mean, there's so many memories, um, of just crying for hours and hours and hours,
and it's, it's not normal. Um, and right now I'm in a season where I feel like I just don't
know what God's doing with me. I believe he called me to move to a different area and I feel
isolated and lonely in my job. I'm, um, I believe I'm serving well, and I have an important job
in a certain sense, but it's unfulfilling and isolating. Um, and I just would love to step
into more of who God created me to be without this cloak of heaviness and sadness creeping in
and like this undertow. Hmm. Um, did your either, either one of your parents struggle with this too?
Um, no, I mean, there's a, there is mental illness in the family, but no, not exactly.
My grandma did to some extent. Yeah. So it can skip a generation. You know that, right?
Yeah. I mean, I don't know if you, like, I know the age and I know the circumstances around when
it started. Okay. So, um, the first time that the deep cycle of sorrow was that when you were 12,
12, when that first started, um, and you know what it was connected to? Well, there were a couple,
a series of things.
So I know the couple things in place that happened, yeah.
I don't know if you want me to share or not.
If you're comfortable to, you can.
Oh, yeah.
So my mom had had six miscarriages, and then she got pregnant.
Well, she had my first me, kind of, kind of, well, they were married, but it wasn't planned.
Birth control didn't work properly.
She got sick.
So they had my brother, then six marriages, six miscarriages.
Then my sister, then she was really nervous about being pregnant because she had lost them pretty far in three and four months.
Then her dad, my grandpa got diagnosed with cancer and only had a few months to live.
And then my grandmother, who was kind of abusive and stuff when my mom was growing up.
My mom had to, she was the only one of five kids who carried the burden of helping with.
So she had a newborn baby, and then I know that I got depressed.
There was no, it was just like, there's no time to deal with that.
Just keep going, be responsible, do the right thing, help the family, help your new sister, help your brother.
Dad works all the time.
Mom's just trying to keep above water.
Grandpa's dying.
So just a bunch of stuff there.
So did you feel like you had to be a mom at 12?
Is that what I hear you saying?
Yeah, I mean, I already had a lot of responsibility.
But I had to be kind of a little adult very early, but that just tipped the scale.
So when's the first time that you can recall feeling like you were carrying adult responsibility as a child?
I think I just always felt like I had to keep the peace because there was always stress and crisis from very early.
Okay.
So I know that you're saying you don't think that your mom had deep sorrow, but even hearing what you're talking about,
I'm going to guess at some point she probably did.
Yeah, I mean,
She was good at hiding it.
Yeah, her way of dealing with it was more through anger.
Okay.
And see, this is a good, okay, so this is really good.
Angie, I want you and everyone else to understand that sorrow does present itself differently in different people because of, you know,
all the other things that they're bringing into the dynamic.
And so you maybe cried for hours where your mom got angry, you know, or whatever was going on there.
And so everybody has a different self-preservation technique, right?
And so I do think that this, it just to me, just right from like, when you first started describing it, I mean, when someone says deep cycles of sorrow,
yeah, I mean, we could have that as an individual, but typically when it goes real deep like that,
and just this cyclical kind of situation that you feel like you've not really ever been able to get over it.
It's like I was talking to Megan about earlier.
There's another level of like, you're not just breaking this off of yourself.
This is a generational thing.
And that's why it can feel harder, if you will, to break it.
But I know you said too, I've been on this journey for almost a decade.
It sounds like there's this, also this posh, like inside, again, not that this is intentional,
but your subconscious is kind of like, I, you know, God isn't really breaking me free.
God's not really fulfilling his end of the bargain here.
You know, and like, I mean, when I look back at my life, I mean, I'm 47.
I've been on a healing journey since I was like 18.
But I don't look at it in a negative way.
Like, I'm just always like healed.
Like, I feel like God is healing me all the time.
And so I almost felt like it seemed like a burden to you.
Do you feel that way?
I just feel like I relentlessly tried to pursue healing and there's an exhaustion and a feeling of being left behind.
Well, okay, so left behind how?
Because it feels like normal people get to move forward in their lives and have emotional stability.
we just got to the root of something right there i don't know if you realize it you just said
something really huge do you know what you just said it's okay if you don't i just want to see
if you remember that my perception of what normal people normal people so that tells me right when
you just said that that you don't think you're normal so you've believed a lie i really feel
holy spirit on this i think at the core that's part of the struggle for you is that you have
believed the lie that you are like not normal that there's something wrong with you and that isn't
truth the reality is is that we all struggle with things and we all struggle with them in different
ways and maybe you just weren't given the tools as a child that you needed to you know be able
to know how to thrive in this area you know like when when there's little babies babies can be
labeled if they're not thriving as failure to thrive and the reality is is this can start
to happen in our lives even when we're a little bit older and i think that's probably what was
happening is that you are able to thrive god can absolutely i was just talking about it i think when
you guys weren't in the breakouts and when you were coming back like god can go he goes all
our timeline and he can redeem and heal anything and so i don't want you i want you to really work
on not partnering with i'm left behind i'm not normal so we want to come out of agreement with
the lie i'm i'm not normal okay do you want me to say that all right go ahead what were
you gonna say do you want me to say that out loud or well i want you to say i angie am normal
i am normal i am angie am not left behind i am not i'm actually getting taken to the front of the
this is how it starts to happen ladies okay we might not fully believe it right now like even
as she's saying it she might not fully believe what what what i'm having her say but this is
where the shift will start to happen i remember when i was i don't know if i was already coaching
or if i was in boot camp but i had this vision literally there it was a dream and then i kind
of woke up as so it turned into a vision as i was like waking up and it was all these women in line
and they kept coming into the bathroom and they were kept cutting in front of me
and i just remember feeling so frustrated like why do these people keep cutting in front of me
and the lord told me that's what i actually believed in my heart that people were literally
taking things from me in my life they were cutting in front of me things that were meant for me were
getting taken and so um i started praying into that and then god gave me another vision that
connected to that and what i saw was i was at the front of the line and the reality is ladies
is we're all at the front of the line and that's what god started showing me like we view a line
as like there's one person and then everybody is behind the line just like we had a food line at
a party yeah sometimes the line feels really long and you're waiting for that thing that you want
and you get kind of frustrated because sometimes you have to wait well god's line is literally like
a horizontal line picture of that instead of a word one person and then everybody's behind that
person god's line is a horizontal line we're all first so if we can partner with that truth
i know it can be tough again because you're you're gonna have to shift your heart here because you've
been believing the lie that you're not normal and that you're getting left behind for a long time
which again i understand sounds like you've been through a lot but god wants you to know that he
did not want that for you he didn't want you to feel the weight of that responsibility as a kid
and he didn't want you to feel like you had to be the peacemaker all the time and and you know
calm your parents down or whoever it was and be their source you know and that's where i think
some of those shifts started happening is when we feel like we have to be the source for our parents
when god is the only source and we take that on and so i want you to kind of envision just taking
the backpack of your parents off of you tonight and even your grandfather and all the people that
whatever reason you felt led or had to because of the situation carry their load
or make them be okay, that you can just say,
you know what, praise the Lord,
I get to lay that down tonight.
And for, you know, God will take care
of the generational stuff,
so I don't want you to worry about that,
but I want you to understand
that's why you feel it so much.
He's gonna come in and just start believing,
God, thank you so much for coming in
and redeeming my family timeline
and breaking me free from what's happened,
that you're gonna use me as a kinsman redeemer
to change things.
But God, it's your power in me,
I don't have to do anything alone.
You know?
And let's see, I think you even asking God
to give you a vision of what it looks like
for you to be at the front of the line
would be really good.
Not just what I said tonight,
but you just praying into that for yourself
and let's see what God shows you.
And as more things come up,
you can come into the group and post
and we can help you process out anything else
that's connected to this, that surfaces.
But any thoughts that you have
that tell you that you're not good enough,
that you're not normal,
that you're, again, left behind,
you know, anything like that,
that you just really try to take those captive
and not partner with those right now.
Well, at all, hopefully,
but just especially right now,
because we wanna help retrain your mind.
And so, you know,
sitting down and asking God to give you the opposite.
You know, I gave you a couple,
but where you really start to ask God
to give you the truth.
Remember the revealing for healing cycle,
we gotta find the truth to replace the lie.
But it needs to be truth that says something to you.
And so we write the declaration
and then we, you know, again,
you can use any search engine
and, you know, maybe scriptures about being chosen,
I think would be good,
or beloved, that you're his beloved.
Guess what?
When we're his beloved,
that means he's taking good care of us.
You know, and he's not withholding from us.
He's not a trickster.
He's not gonna dangle carrots and be like,
oh, nope, just kidding.
You don't get that.
I'm gonna give it to your sister instead.
Right?
And so looking up scriptures of that,
I think will be really helpful for you
and just read through them
and see what speaks to your heart.
Okay?
You got this.
It's one step at a time.
And I want you all to know
when there's deep things like that,
it might take a little longer,
but you are gonna get there.
I lost you on my screen.
And so just give yourself a lot of grace.
If you need to take a little longer in the heart work,
it is okay, Angie,
because I think it's gonna be really important for you
to get this part worked out before you move forward.
Okay?
Because this will show up in your dating relationships,
the way that you're viewing things right now, for sure.
All right.
Awesome.
Thank you for letting us hear that,
the part of your story and trusting us with that.
Yeah.
All right.
Tiffany, go ahead.
Okay.
So mine was fear.
And this one is actually towards myself
and not someone else.
I don't wanna beat a dead horse,
but it's that been married three times
and all three times having known
that I heard the Lord say, this is not the one.
But like I was sharing in the room with the girls,
like I was already so invested
and just the lies that I believed about,
this would be the only one
and what would people think and yada, yada, yada.
And it's like my second one,
I was actively seeking the Lord.
I was following the Lord.
I even had a conversation with him that said,
hey, you know what?
I did things really wrong the first time,
this time it's gotta be different.
If you're not a Christ follower, it's just not gonna work.
I really like you, but this is a non-negotiable for me.
And we had a lunch and he looked me in the eyes
and said, I'm an atheist.
And I was like, okay, well, it's been nice knowing you.
Basically, we broke up at that point,
went back to the office within two hours.
He was like, I won't keep you from going to church.
All the things that they'll say, and I took him back.
And so it's that fear of,
I thought, I thought I was sold out.
You might've been sold out, but he wasn't sold out.
That's the difference.
Right.
I didn't stand on my beliefs.
Like I allowed myself to settle when I said that's, you know, and it's so it's
like, I've now followed the Lord for seven years and so it's, I think this is
the biggest piece that freaks me out because it's not, it's not someone else.
Like that was on me.
I made those choices.
But this time, remember this time you, if you choose to, you
know, you're telling us already.
So I'm going to know as one of the coaches in this community
that this is a struggle for you.
Okay.
And so when you move forward and you start to date, I might say to you, Hey,
how's it going with like listening to what God's showing you, you know what I'm
what are the things that you are concerned about, you know, and you know,
where we really help you stay accountable to not avoiding the red flags, right.
And ignoring them, like I was saying.
And so fear towards yourself, I think actually you need to forgive yourself.
Like, I do think that you battle with fear, but I think underneath it's
really that there's additional layers of forgiving yourself for basically
what I heard you saying is not listening to things that God was showing you.
You know, which that's what causes the self doubt in us, because we actually,
we didn't listen to ourselves and to God.
And that's where we get angry with ourselves.
We resent ourselves, you know?
And so forgiving yourself is going to be really key.
And I think that's going to set you free from the fear.
Am I saying it's, it's not, it's going to be easy.
No, I'm, but I am saying to you that if you stay in community, I think the
outcome can be way different this time.
It can be because you're, you have reinforcements helping you like, Hey,
remember those training wheels, Tiffany?
Like, let's keep those on, you know, remember this, you know, where we can
kind of help you versus like when you were, you know, I mean, I don't know if
you ever shared with anybody before, like, Hey, I'm, he's telling me he's an
atheist and, you know, but he's saying he'll, you know, come, let me go to church.
He won't hold me back.
What do you think about this?
I don't know if you ever told anybody that before that was a Christian, that was
a healthy person, but I know that you're telling us this.
And so your other sisters here in the sister squad, if they're also in the
community at that time can also say, Hey, Tiffany, yeah, no, this, I think you, I
think God has something better in a loving way.
We can say, Hey, yeah, no.
Remember when you said this and if you're willing to receive it, then
we, then we can be that help for you.
And that's what I found to be very true about this community.
I mean, I, I was afraid to make the same mistakes.
I wasn't married three times, but I definitely chose three different people
that were all very unhealthy right in a row.
And so of course I was scared.
I didn't want to make the same mistakes.
Uh, and I blew past red flags too, but God taught me how to own that stuff, how
to forgive myself and then this time around, not make the same mistakes.
So I think, I know he can do it for you too, but starts with forgiving.
I had to forgive myself.
Yeah, I have done a lot of forgiving, but it's not been in that.
So, yeah.
So you're saying you've done forgiveness stuff and not, you
haven't forgiven yourself yet.
Yeah, I've done some parts of myself, like when it came to things with my
kids and things they have to endure because of that, but not in the, not
trusting myself and not listening to the Lord for sure.
All right.
So then I would encourage you this week to do a forgiveness prayer sheet on that.
Okay.
And then let's see if that starts to help.
And, and remember you're retraining your brain at the same time.
So when the fear comes up, you have to tell the fear where to go.
Like, nope.
I'm going to trust that God is, I'm growing.
I'm healing that I'm going to listen to the Lord this time.
I'm going to listen to myself this time, you know, where you're just
reminding the devil of the truth.
Yeah.
Thank you for sharing that.
Glenna, go ahead.
Okay.
This is the first time I've shared.
Um, you know, for me, I've dealt with years of feeling rejected and I have
done some of the revealing for healing.
And I, you know, I've been listening to you about, you know, going back and
asking God, when did the first time I felt rejected or abandoned, and it goes back.
When I was 12 years old, when my parents got divorced, my dad, I was the only child and
he was supposed to come and pick me up every other weekend on a Saturday.
And I would sit on the porch for hours and wait for him to show up and he very rarely
showed up.
And when he did, my mom would always be angry at him because he wasn't paying his child
support and throw rocks at the car.
And then he was always a dad that was not really like, it wasn't until I was 37 years
old that he ever told me for the first time that he loved me.
So my first marriage, I was married 29 years and he was the same way, really non-emotional.
And he would say funny things like, well, I told you I loved you, you know, when I married
you, if I change my mind, I'll let you know, you know, but I worked through the revealing
for healing, you know, and what God revealed to me was the lie that Satan says that I'm
not valuable.
I'm not chosen.
And from that, I asked God where, because you've said like, ask God where he was in
that situation.
And I shared this in the group that my mom had gone to church till I was 12 and when
she got divorced, she quit going.
But at that church was a lady that, she wasn't my grandma, but I called her Grandma Naylor.
And my mom was schizophrenic.
So when I was younger, this lady was a nurse.
So I spent, she kind of, like in the summertime, my dad didn't trust my mom to take care of
me when I was little because I had a brother that died before I was born and he always
blamed her for his death, even though it had nothing to do with it.
He had leukemia and they didn't diagnose him till just a few weeks before he passed away
and he was only 11 months old.
And so that's what God revealed to me, that this lady, she was not my grandma, but she
was so kind to me and she loved me and her husband, Grandpa Naylor, they would take me
for walks.
We'd pick apples off their trees.
She would make like apple pie with me and I just spent a lot of time and I was so crazy.
In 2004, I moved to an area in Massillon.
Anyhow, I always thought she lived in this town called Richfield.
Well, I moved right off a road called Richfield Drive and one day I was driving home and I
looked over and there was the house.
And I never noticed it in the summertime because the trees had leaves on it and this was in
the wintertime and I just stopped and pulled aside the road.
I said, that's Grandma Naylor's house.
That's where she lived.
And because I'm much older now, of course.
But anyhow, but I still have those bouts of feeling like yesterday I went to my son's
house and my daughter-in-law had some of her family there and she had made dinner and,
you know, I didn't hear her say, you're invited to stay with us.
So I asked my son, I said, oh, I better get going.
And he goes, OK, Mom.
And I said, well, should I stay for dinner?
He goes, I think so.
But so because he said he thought so, I felt like, OK, I don't want to impose on anybody.
And so finally I said something to my daughter-in-law and she goes, oh, no, I mentioned
that you must not have heard me.
You're welcome to stay.
So later that night when I got home, she sent me this whole long text of like, hey, we
never want you to feel like you're not welcome.
You're family.
We love you. You're always welcome here.
And as I was reading the text, I was just crying and crying.
And it's just like I want to get over the sense of abandonment and rejection.
And I've struggled with it all my life.
And you're right, Bethany, when you have that, you portray that.
You know, I have my own company.
There's areas I come across really strong, but then there's some arenas that I kind of
pull back and just sit in a room, don't say anything.
Mainly when it's I'm in construction, so it's all men most of the time.
And I've been doing it 25 years.
And.
Um, I've had to overcome a lot of that insecurity, but I still have bouts of like, can I really
do this?
But I've been doing it for 25 years and it's by God's grace, he's given me the knowledge
and the experience and to do it, you know, cause I never went to college for it, but
anyhow, I'll stop talking.
No, this is great.
So I had no idea.
I just got to say this.
So not many people know where Richville drive is and I grew up in that area.
So I grew up, uh, right up the road from ritual park and I lived on stump Avenue.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I built a house on stump Avenue.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
So I probably wasn't, I don't know when you built your house, but that's where I grew
up.
Um, and like when you said Maslin, I thought, Oh, she knows kind of that.
And then you said ritual drive.
And I was like, nobody ever talks about ritual drive.
That's funny.
Just to say that that's not coaching you, but I just thought that would be fun to share
that.
That's cute.
Little area.
I love it.
But, um, man, just a couple things.
Um, I love that God revealed to you about grandma Naylor.
I think that's amazing.
And I just think that's a memory to hold on to as you keep walking through this.
I love that you used your voice and spoke up and just ask your daughter-in-law to clarify.
Like if you were, you know, if they were comfortable with you staying and then look at the healing
that came because you used your voice.
I mean, that's powerful.
I want you to like really pause because even tonight you're like, this is the first time
I'm sharing and you've been with us for a little while.
Right.
Yes.
And so this is good.
I feel like I want you to notice the progress that you're making even in this last week,
just these couple of things that you're, you know, last couple of weeks, whenever God
revealed grandma Naylor, um, that are happening so that you can celebrate the wins.
Remember ladies celebrating your wins is just as important as revealing for healing, pausing
and like giving yourself, I know people think this is so like silly, but I can't tell you
how many times women have like healed by pausing and actually hugging themselves.
Literally, you know, the old school, like, like just pausing and like hugging yourself
or like, God, you know, Bethany, you're doing a good job.
Like sometimes we all just need a, like Lisa, you're, you're doing a good job.
You know?
Yeah.
It's awesome to get that from other people.
But if we don't even think that about ourselves, we're going to crave it, crave it, crave it
from everybody else.
But we don't even believe it's like an empty hole.
It's like this pit that nobody else can fill.
Only God can fill, but we can also be a part of filling that.
So I want you to, you know, really see that that is growth in you.
And I love that.
I know that you mentioned several different things, but I keep feeling like the, your
brother passing away as being highlighted to me.
I think that you were born into trauma that already happened and a lot of loss and brokenness
because of that.
And so I want to encourage you to ask, you know, ask the Lord a little bit about that
this week.
Is there anything more that you want to reveal to me about my brother passing away?
Because you got really choked up when you were talking about that.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, the same lady, grandma Naylor, when I was born, she basically came over,
over and like I said, helped my mom when I was a baby up until I was like four, you know?
And I know my dad blamed my mom for him dying.
Yeah.
And did you hear that stuff a lot?
I mean, how do you know that your dad blamed your mom?
Well, when I was four, I was swinging on a swing and I jumped off of it and I hit my
shoulder and I broke my collarbone and he came home and they were fighting in another
room and I heard something about, you know, about, he was really mad that I got hurt and
he didn't want anything to happen to me like my brother.
And you did hear something.
Yeah.
So, and he actually broke her arm, you know?
That's a pretty serious thing.
You know, Glenna, you're four years old hearing this, your mom's arm gets broken in this process.
That's a pretty big trauma.
It's all surrounding your brother's passing too.
And so that feels like a revealing for healing right there for like hearing you talk about
it, but there might be more.
And so I feel like you're going to need to forgive your dad for blaming your mom for
your brother's death.
and for breaking your mom's arm and anything else that gets revealed surrounding that situation.
Yeah, I did write, um, you know, one of the forgiveness letters about forgiving my dad
for, um, you know, cause after they got divorced, I only see, saw him like five times in 15
years.
Yeah.
So it wasn't because I didn't want to see him.
I always invited him to stuff.
Did you specifically forgive him for blaming your mom for your brother's death?
No, I didn't.
I just.
So, yeah.
And so I'm clarifying that so that everybody understands.
So when we do forgiveness prayer sheets, um, even if in this case, like she's already done
one for her dad, but it's about something else.
We want to be specific in what we're forgiving people for.
And so this is a new layer regarding dad that's being revealed.
That's also connected to her brother passing away, um, and mom's arm getting broken.
That's another layer within that.
Um, and so forgiving your dad for those two specific things.
And then if anything else comes up, I just encourage you just to keep, you know, even
if it's your mom, you know, that you all would keep doing the forgiveness prayer sheets because
God is going to reveal additional things to you and it's good to cleanse your heart from
in your mind and your, you know, your soul and spirit from those things.
And so I would, I would encourage you to start there, Glenna, and just pray.
Like I said, around your brother, you know, passing away because here's the, the other
reality.
Um, he passed away before you were born, correct?
Okay.
I wanted to make sure I heard you correctly.
So that's a huge weight on you, like, and it's nobody's fault, but like just the sadness
and the grief and all, it sounds like, you know, dad's blaming mom and there's just all
this pain and you were born into that pain, you know?
And, and I think part of the abandonment is connected to that.
Okay.
And I, um, my mom had both of us C-section and he was born on August the 10th and I was
supposed to be born on the same day and my mom had the doctor change the day to the night
because she didn't want us to have the same birthday.
Yeah, I can understand that.
Yeah.
I can understand that.
Yeah.
Well, thank you for sharing your story with us.
I think God wants to heal quite a bit more here and we'll see what else he reveals.
All right.
Thank you for coaching me and I'm, um, I've just learned so much from this program and,
you know, I've gone to other counseling over the years and Christian counselors, but this
has, I feel like an onion and God is just taking his time, taking layer after layer
in helping me.
And like, you know, like you said, I asked my daughter-in-law that that was, took a lot
of courage because I didn't want to be rejected, you know, but, um, and you know, God showed
me that I do have my son and my daughter-in-law that love me and care about me, you know?
And I want you to practice saying, I, Glenna, am accepted.
Okay.
Yeah.
So ladies, if you battle rejection, let's partner with, I am accepted.
We're going to come out of agreement alignment with I'm rejected by people I'm accepted.
And yes, onions absolutely have layers.
And I, I used to long time ago before I came into this community, I used to talk about
onions and layers regarding forgiveness all the time.
I haven't, I haven't used that analogy in a long time.
And so that's kind of fun that that came up tonight.
Thank you so much for sharing.
You're welcome.
I'm probably only going to be able to take one more.
So I'm going to do Eloise.
Y'all.
I'm so sorry.
I know people have had their hand raised, but I'm feeling myself starting to feel a
little empty.
And so I want to make sure I I'm giving you all out of the overflow.
Okay.
And so please come into the group and share what you were going to say so that I can respond
to you there, please.
And then for those of you, just so I don't forget to tell you all this, if you posted
in the last few days and you haven't got a response yet, you will start getting a response
in the next day.
I have a lot of catch up to do in the group after being at the retreat.
My whole team was there, some were serving, some were, so we apologize.
We love you.
And I want you to know that you, we will respond to you as soon as possible in the next day
or so.
Okay.
All right.
Eloise, go ahead.
Okay.
So this is my first time to do this.
All right.
And I never connected the dots to jump on and do this.
So this is big for me anyway.
And so so the first thing that came to mind was about when my, when I was like junior
high, I think my mother just died of the blues.
said, I hope you never get married.
And so you don't have to go through the hurt and pain I've gone through.
And I didn't know what she was talking about because she and that age group,
you know, just kept everything hidden.
At least they did in my family.
And so I didn't know exactly what she meant, but the way that I saw her
respond to my dad, who they loved each other and he was like mad about her in a
good way, you know, just loved her so much and stuff, but I never saw her
initiate a hug, holding hands, kissing him or anything.
She responded, but she never initiated.
So I thought, you know, I only had one set of parents.
And so I just thought, well, that's the way that couples do.
The man initiates and the woman responds kind of stuff.
And so, um, so anyway, and my brother was the, he was two and a half years younger
and he was the one that was supposed to be the savior in the family and he was
going to become a big lawyer and all this good stuff.
And I was just unseen, unnoticed by not just my parents, but all
my aunts and uncles and stuff.
And so I remember, um, my cousin Diane, who's six months older than
me, and we were really close.
And, and my aunt and my grandmother, um, they had a dress shop and
part of it was a bridal shop.
And so they had a spring, um, fashion show and they invited all these people.
And so she asked me, my aunt asked me if I would pass out the
little flyers about the style show.
And so here I am passing out the little flyers, everybody
sits down and everything, you know, and all of a sudden it's the grand finale
and they do a, you know, a bride song, you know, uh, music kind of stuff.
And the bride comes out the grand finale of the whole style show.
And it's my cousin Diane.
So here's my cousin who is the big, you know, spotlight on her.
And I'm just standing in the background, passing out flyers.
And that's the kind of the way my family treated me.
You know, they never, um, I was just kind of forgotten in, in the, you
know, the sidelines kind of stuff.
And so, um, so that's carried through my whole life with my aunts and
uncles and my cousins and my first cousin, uh, Nancy, uh, her dad
and my dad were twin brothers.
And so she said to me years ago, uh, she said, I hope at some point
you can have your own, um, uh, duplex.
That was her big vision for me, not having a family or relationship or
anything, just, you know, a little duplex kind of deal.
And so, um, so, um, God has so much more for me than that.
And they've never seen that.
Um, they've never, you know, um, built me up and encouraged me and, you know,
tried to introduce me to anybody or anything like that.
And so, um, I, I felt second class kind of, kind of thing.
And there was always a spirit of poverty and lack in our family, in my part of the
family anyway, with my parents and stuff.
And so, um, so, but the thing that, you know, after I thought of that, when I,
uh, talked to, I forgot her name, the gal that I talked to tonight on the just
one-on-one is somebody tonight talked about, um, the job God has for them
and that sort of thing, and I've been out of a full-time job for, uh, over
three years and, uh, I've been interviewing and doing all the zoom calls,
you know, how to do your resume and LinkedIn and network and all that stuff.
And I keep trying the same thing I've been in writing and editing my whole
career for missiles to make up is my little elevator speech and, um,
Northrop Grumman to Mary Kay.
And so I keep looking for the same jobs that I'm like, Lord, I know
you have something else for me, but I don't know how to get there.
You know, I get hired and it lasts a month and I get.
hired again. And, you know, it's a contract to perm kind of
situation several times. And, you know, so it, it falls apart.
And I was talking to a guy that he said, you know, I'm, I'm
tired of doing what I've done. He's in his 50s. I'm tired of
doing what I've been doing. And I want to do something where I'm
making a difference. So he went back and got an MBA just
graduated and stuff. And so, and so I'm like, Lord, I just
don't get it. I want to be where you want me to be. But I'm, I'm
stuck somehow. And I don't you know, I'm just, and I'm not
physically able to do like bridge jobs where you're on
your feet a lot. Yeah. And, and so I'm just looking for a bridge
job just to bring some money in because Social Security
definitely is not enough. And stuff. So anyway. So I loved
what you said about highlight me to the right employer and job.
Yeah. And because I've never met a stranger, I meet Pete eat,
meet people easily. I connect with people. And I just don't
know where I'm stuck on all that. So well, in part of this,
remember, ladies, you know, when we're stuck on the inside, it's
going to cause us to be stuck on the outside. Yeah. So while it
looks like she's, you know, only stuck on the outside, the
reality is just like the financial thing I was talking
about earlier. We are all typically stuck on the inside
in some way that's affecting the finances. Same thing here.
And I'm not saying she's doing something wrong, that's causing
her not to get a job. She's trying clearly. But the reality
is, is I do think and you know, we talked about this last night,
even in just the last few weeks, you're making more progress
forward, which is amazing and exciting. And so I think the
more that you're talking live tonight, these are these are
really great steps. And it's going to cause you to get
unstuck on the inside, which is going to impact things on the
outside. And I'm not saying it's always going to just be this
immediate, like get a job. But I actually think that I want to
encourage you to partner with that you have grace and ease in
this new season. To get a great grace and ease. Oh, grace and
ease in this new season to get a job. Yeah, just over. You know,
what Jackie's releasing the kink in the in the hose is unleashed
and that things are going to start to flow that have felt
like obstacles. I even feel like you're remembering more Eloise.
Yeah, like there's been a clarity, you know, I know
you've been overcoming the, you know, the after effects of all
the COVID and things and I know that's been hard for you. But I
believe that there's, I'm just gonna tell you what I'm seeing
like, like, you know, Sleeping Beauty is about to get her kiss
from heaven and she's about to wake up. And you've always been
awake. But I know that you felt kind of like under this haze.
And I've noticed a difference in you and the last month you're
you are remembering more you are like, look at even though it
took you a little bit to get online tonight, you still pressed
through you got online now you're talking, which you've not
done. You've not done yet, which is totally okay. I want all of
you to know it is okay if you don't. But here's the thing. I
absolutely am a firm believer. Do you want to know the people I
typically remember when like last night, we had all these
people come to this party, you want to know the people I
typically remember, the people that talk during a live session
or posted in the group and shared about their life in the
journey. And it's not that I don't mean to not know the other
people. But it's just, you know, it's like, you know, I Eloise,
even though she hasn't gotten spoken on here, she's prayed a
lot on the prayer calls. You know, and she's been in here
and she's engaged and I've seen her face, she turns her camera
on. You know, these are things that help us as a team remember
and know you all. So anyways, I just want you to celebrate the
successes that you're having.
And can I say one more thing? Yeah. Weeks ago, you gave a
prophetic word about somebody is going to travel, there's
something about travel. It was a positive, quick little thing. I
don't even know if you remember saying it, but that was for me,
because I started an adventure with a travel kind of a thing.
It's not being a travel agent. But it's an amazing deal. And I
really felt the Lord telling me to do that. And when you
And whatever it was, I just got caught the word travel.
I don't remember what else, but it was a positive thing.
And I was like, that just doesn't come out.
And I mean, it does come out a little bit.
I mean, the Lord prompted you to say that.
And I knew it was for me.
Well, so interesting.
You wouldn't know this Eloise, but when I was going through the boot camp,
that's what we used to call it.
Um, God started talking to me about traveling and I, I,
um, hadn't traveled more because the other people I was with just weren't into
that really. And, uh,
and then he used a woman that I hadn't chatted with for a while to confirm it.
She sent me something and she said, I don't,
I don't know if this means anything to you, but God,
I just keep seeing an airplane for you. And that can represent,
it can represent ministry too. But I knew what God was saying through that.
And so I do believe that you're hearing God accurately for your life.
I think that you taking the steps to travel as God leads you to is it's going to
usher in some other things. I think that, um, you know,
sometimes we got to shake the dust off ladies, you know,
we kind of get into space in a place when life is hard and it's like, again,
I think you're,
I think you're entering a season of grace and ease and that things are going to
shift and that the things that have like held you back,
I just think that stuff is about to change.
Now that's not necessarily the inner healing stuff that you were talking about
earlier, but I hope that, you know,
that when your mom said to you when you were in junior high,
I hope you never get married that probably that being spoken over
you. Um, I would just encourage you to come out of alignment with that. Okay.
So even if you didn't mean to take that in and partner with that,
uh, as a, as a junior high age person,
it's going to be really hard for people to not subconsciously take that in and
vow to not ever have a marriage like my mom's, you know,
or whatever it is that we think, you know,
and so just make sure you pray into that. Sorry, all that was just shaking. Um,
and let's just see where else you might have subconsciously partnered with
things. Cause if your mom was saying things like that,
maybe she said some other things that maybe you just don't even remember yet,
you know, that also fed into, um,
maybe you even sidelining yourself. And I know that you were saying, um,
I was in the background, I was forgotten. I felt second class,
but, but here's the reality.
We choose to be in that place.
People. Yes.
They can say things and do things that cause us to feel in that place,
but we don't have to be there.
Just someone else puts us in that place in the background. Um,
and so tonight, if you didn't know, going,
going live and talking you're coming to the forefront.
This is an example of saying, Hey, no, I have something to say.
I have something to say. I'm not in the background. Right.
So you're partnering with the opposite of that, which is awesome. Yeah.
So just keep partnering with that. Like, you know, God wants you,
God sees you and he's saying, Hey, keep, keep partnering with, you know,
I'm not forgotten. I'm not in the background. I'm coming.
I'm coming to the front of the line. I said that to somebody here, you know,
where, where God is bringing you there,
but you're partnering with him in that process.
Well, two years ago,
I went through a spiritual encounter kind of weekend kind of deal.
And, um, and so one of the things, the guy that led it, uh,
said, so, you know, what are your dreams for your future or whatever?
And he asked practically everybody in the class, how old they were. And he,
and he said, how old are you? And I said, do I have to tell you?
And he said, yes. And I said, okay,
I'm 74.
And it's like everybody in the room just hit the back of the wall.
Like it just Florida that I was that age and stuff.
And so a lot of the people in this little group,
everybody was in a little group and there were four of us and the other three
said they wanted to be married.
And so we were about to be through with our little part of the deal.
And I said, I want to be married too.
I don't care how old I am. I still want to be married. I,
I just believe the Lord has somebody for me.
And so I just spoke that out, you know,
kind of deal.
And it's like I'm not giving up my dream for my own family,
my own mate,
my own special life that I've always
dreamed of.
And you shouldn't know. And I saw that Glenn is saying she's 60.
nine, you know, ladies, um, you know, the rest of your years could be the best of your
years. Truly. You know, like just let's embrace what God is doing. Let's embrace what God is,
is leading us into the new that he has for us. We're not going to partner with fear. We're going
to partner with faith. And remember that if we have moments of unbelief, Lord, I believe help
my unbelief is the prayer that you can pray. And I saw some people say, and let's travel together.
Yeah. Hey ladies, there's some sisters traveling all over the place with each other. They're
meeting each other. Um, we're doing things in the community that are giving you all opportunities to
do that too. There's a cruise in January. I think, I don't know if we're past the deadline
on that, but there'll be more opportunities. So, um, Eloise, I think this is great. I want
you to pray into a couple of those things, but let's partner with grace and ease in this new
season. Okay. Okay. Got it. Um, yeah, just keep, keep doing the next best step that God is showing
you to do in the heartwork and, and you're, you're on your way. It's so exciting ladies. Um, I hope
that you, you know, take a lot of this in tonight and the things that have been planted that you
will continue to trust that God is writing your love story. He's writing, you know, the, the steps
for you to walk into the fullness of who he originally created you to be. And I wanted to
say, Gail, did I see, did I see some little messages in the one o'clock saying you're moving
to phase two? Did I see that? Yeah, that's a tomorrow thing. All right. I just wanted to
cheer you on. I almost forgot cause I was thinking of it all night and it's okay that you're still,
that you came tonight, but I just wanted to say that I'm cheering you on and, uh, you know,
praying for you, anyone else as well. I just happened to see that in the chat from the,
one o'clock session. Um, I was looking at that while y'all were on, I was in the car traveling
back still at that time, but I'm praying for you, excited for you to take that step way to go.
Yeah. And I think Damaris and Lovett both said that they needed to move on too.
All right. I'm looking for company here.
And Hey, you know, there's, there's more continued hard work as you guys move forward. Okay. So
you're going to have that in other areas of the program. Uh, so don't feel like you're not going
to have an opportunity to have additional layers of healing. The other coaches, you know, we train
them, uh, if they don't know the answer, y'all just so you, just so you know, if they don't know
the answer, they come into a chat with me and they ask me what I think. And if I feel like God
tells me something, I give it to them and then they'll come in and respond to y'all. But we have
an amazing team all throughout the program. You guys are going to just really love these ladies.
And so, um, just wanted to bless you, Gail, and I didn't know about Lovett and Damaris. So that's
awesome. Cheering you ladies on as well. Let me pray for us, father. Thank you so much for this
night. Thank you for the blessings, God of just the reminder of the overflow, the abundance that
you have for us, that you're a good father who has all good things to give us. We thank you for
helping the level of hope and expectancy to rise up within us that you would heal us from the pain
of the past, set us free in areas where we don't even know we need it. And we know, Lord, that your
spirit, Lord, is what sets us free. And so we thank you, Holy Spirit, for working and moving, that you're
our comforter, you're our counselor, you're our guide, you're our ever-present help in times of
trouble as well as times of victory. So help us to recognize, Holy Spirit, when you're working in our
lives. And we just thank you, Jesus, for your sacrifice, for your blood that was shed, for the
forgiveness of our sins, for our freedom. And help us to remember tonight and in the days ahead that
we fight from freedom, not for it, in Jesus' name. Amen. God bless you all. Have a great night, everyone.
I'll see you in the group. Bye-bye.