WEBVTT

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Hello.

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Happy Monday, everyone.

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So glad to be here with all of you again tonight.

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If you are new, you're joining us for your first live session,

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as in you've never been on a live with us, put that in the chat for me.

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If you're not sure where to find the chat,

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if you hover over the bottom of your screen, there's a little button,

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whether you're on your phone or computer that says chat,

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that's how you can start to see that chat box.

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And just let us know you're joining for your first live session.

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Welcome back to all of my ladies that are returning,

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whether you've been here live or watching the replays, they all matter.

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So you're still getting the truth in you.

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And that's what's really important.

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I want to encourage those of you that do watch the replays.

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I had someone ask this question,

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and I wanted just to make sure everybody knows this.

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If you're only able to watch the replays,

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it's okay to still do the activations on the weeks that you're watching

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those replays, come in and post in the group,

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ask your questions in the group.

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I know that you guys aren't able to ask your questions live.

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And so I always like to remind everyone, there is never a dumb question.

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I know some people get really nervous to ask questions because they don't

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want to look silly or they're not sure if their question is important,

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but every question is important.

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And what you're processing really matters to us, the coaches, our team.

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And we want you to know that we want to support you,

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even if you are not able to join us live.

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And yeah, so we're excited to have you here tonight.

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Welcome to our new ladies.

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It looks like Rosa's here for her first time tonight.

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Welcome, Rosa.

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I'm trying to see if I can.

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Okay, I see you.

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Hello.

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Welcome.

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All right.

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I'm Bethany Cooper.

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I'm one of the master hardwork coaches in the community.

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I'll be here leading us live tonight.

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Normally Annette is here with us.

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She's one of our peer coaches.

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Sorry, I just need to go ahead and mute the background there,

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but she is not feeling well.

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So we're going to send some good wishes her way.

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And she's praying for us and just wanted you to know that is why she's not

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able to be here with us tonight, but she's thinking about all of you.

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A couple little housekeeping things.

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I just do this every couple weeks.

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It's not because anybody put anything in the group that led me to say this,

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but it's just a good reminder.

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If you are new to our community in the last few weeks,

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just want you to know that we don't approve posts in our groups from any

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outside businesses, ministries, individuals.

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So even if it's like social media content, that's really amazing.

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It's from a ministry.

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We don't, if that gets posted in our group pages,

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we go ahead and remove all that because our team just doesn't have time to

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vet all that stuff out.

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And sometimes what can happen is our counterfeit identities think something's

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really awesome regarding marriage.

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And sometimes there's religion in it.

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And sometimes there's things that we just don't align with in this

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community.

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And so we just kind of set that guardrail as a safety for everyone in that

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regard.

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Because back in the day when we first started, well,

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when Jackie first started this years ago,

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we had people that wanted to share sermons and all that kind of stuff.

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And even though that blesses you all,

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the reality is our team doesn't have time to watch hour long sermons,

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30 minute long things to make sure that there are messages that we align

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with.

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And so just want you all to know that on the front end.

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And so if you do ever post something like that, even if it's a devotional,

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if it's outside content,

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we just kind of keep that across the board and we do that,

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remove that from our groups.

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So that's nothing against you.

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It's just our guideline.

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Weekly roll call posts go up every Sunday morning.

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Want to encourage you all to come in and comment on that.

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Those are connected.

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A lot of times what I do is I take notes from our supernatural Saturdays

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and then just really try to put kind of a synopsis together for you all.

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We still want you to watch the lot or the replay of that.

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If you've not heard it or couldn't be there live with us,

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because they are that good. You all they're worth making the time for.

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I'll tell you what.

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And man,

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this last week was about basically how generational blessings are greater

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than generational curses.

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A lot of churches and a lot of people talk about generational curses.

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Some, some churches and some people don't ever talk about any of that,

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but then the ones that do,

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they emphasize that side of it,

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but not a lot of people talk about generational blessings and it's really

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important for y'all to catch that understanding.

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So I want to encourage you to take a listen to that.

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Have your notes in your pen ready.

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You know, one of the things Jackie was talking about,

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and I want to go back and listen to it again, myself, just for me,

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because I normally listen and I'm taking notes and trying to think of what to

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give you all. And I just needed to absorb some things for myself, but man,

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And what she was just talking about, you know,

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the legacy that we're going to inherit.

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You know, I want to encourage you guys.

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As we start to talk about tonight's content,

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I want you to think about a couple of weeks ago.

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And even if you weren't here, you can receive this night.

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Princess perspectives.

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What is it like to live like a princess?

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What is it like to believe?

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even inheriting good things versus inheriting bad things, negative things.

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You know, your lineage and legacy comes straight from heaven and,

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and God is rewriting your story.

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So no matter what happened in your family line, biologically, like I

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didn't grow up in a healthy family.

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My parents were divorced.

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My dad was an alcoholic and a drug addict.

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He left literally right after I was born and kind of on occasion came into the

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all the things, um, my mom had a lot of brokenness, stayed in bed, you know,

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had to do, I felt like I had to do things all the time to make her happy,

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get her out of bed, cheer her up, all those kinds of things.

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And that's just a little glimpse of some of my story.

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And I'll tell you what God has really shown me over the years, how he has

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called me to be a kinsmen redeemer in my family line and to change things

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for generations to come behind me.

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And so when I was listening to Jackie's message, I was just like, yes, yes.

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And I even know like I was receiving more upgrades regarding that and just

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the truth of all the blessings that I get to benefit from right now from

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other people that have gone before me.

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So again, just want to encourage you all take a listen to that.

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Be ready to take notes, really allow yourself to receive the upgrade of what

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God wants to give you, not just regarding your love story, but your whole life,

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your whole family and a lot of great nuggets in there.

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All right.

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Let me pray for us.

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I'm going to go ahead and get us started on the content for tonight.

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Father, thank you so much for your goodness.

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God, thank you for your grace.

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Yes, Lord.

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Thank you for your mercy.

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That is new every morning.

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God, I thank you that you love us so much.

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Your love is unconditional.

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Nothing can separate us from your love, not height, nor depth, nor

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principality, nor powers, nor things in the present, nor things to come.

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Not even the things in our past.

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None of that separates us from your love.

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God, we thank you that your love is abundant.

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It's flowing from heaven freely tonight.

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I pray that you would help us to receive an upgrade in our understanding of who

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you are, God, as love and kind, good, faithful, generous God giving.

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I thank you that you would just take those things out of darkness and

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bring them into the light for the revealings for healing that we need.

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God, I thank you that you are the great dot connector.

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I pray that you would connect dots in our spirits and our souls tonight.

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Things where we haven't understood something or we've been stuck and

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we just don't know why we're stuck.

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God, I thank you that people would get just dislodged, unlodged, like

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they would break free tonight.

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God, in the supernatural realm and that it would change things

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in the physical realm as well.

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We thank you, God, for sending Jesus.

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And Jesus, we thank you for coming, for dying on the cross and shedding

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your blood for the forgiveness of our sins, for our healing, for

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our redemption, for our freedom.

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And I thank you, God and Jesus, that you sent the Holy Spirit to be with us

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every single day, that we never have to walk alone.

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Thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here with us tonight.

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I pray that you would weave in and out of the coaching, the teaching, the

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conversations, and let your presence be known among us in Jesus name.

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Amen.

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Amen.

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You know, tonight we're going to talk about submission and, uh, and

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just what it is and what it's not.

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And we're also going to talk about rebellion, but in regards to, because

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when I talk about submission tonight, I'm going to talk a lot about father

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figures, but the reality is, is this also impacts mother figures, but

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specifically this morning, as I was praying for our sessions today, God,

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God was talking to my heart about re rebellion specifically towards mothers

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and mother figures in our hearts, areas where there have been things that have

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happened that have caused us to rebel.

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And we're going to talk about that a little more, but I just want to prepare

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you that that's where we're going tonight.

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And so I pray that you would just keep an open heart and open mind as we start

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to talk about submission and God's heart towards you regarding it.

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So the first thing I just want to plant the seed of this, God will not trespass.

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God will not trespass.

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He must be permitted to enter.

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And I know that can be a hard concept sometimes because we're like, he's God.

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He can do whatever he wants.

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True.

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But he doesn't.

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You all, here's the thing.

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God is always asking us if he can enter in, just like when we choose to receive

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Jesus as our Lord and savior, that is not something God pushes on us.

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God invites us to receive Jesus as our Lord and savior.

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And then we have an opportunity to accept that or not.

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So I want to encourage you to start to shift the way that you're thinking about

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how God is doing things in your life.

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Now, God can do things and he sets things in motions for, you know, for our good.

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He's always working behind the scenes.

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But I want you to shift out of the mindset that God is pushing things on you

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I hear all the time in this community women that are afraid that God is gonna make them

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Be with someone that they're not attracted to you and someone that they can't even really connect with

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Well, does that sound like a good God to you?

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It doesn't to me and I definitely have not experienced God forcing me to do those things

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In the past I chose

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In my current marriage I chose in the past

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I've I unfortunately chose unhealthy relationships unhealthy people praise the Lord God showed me some some things

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He healed my heart

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He gave me understanding and revelation that I didn't have before so I was able to make a different decision this time around

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But God never forced any of that on me

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You know, what's really awesome is actually this last time around I never looked at it like this I

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Would date one person and that's who I'd be in relationship with y'all for a long time

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Not sure why I did that

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But that's what I did

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But God told me when I was going through the heart work through Jackie Dorman

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That he was going to give me choices when I heard her say it. It was like God was talking straight to me

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I wrote it down on a little post-it

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I'll have to see if I can find that and if I do I'll put it up in the group you all

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But literally God told me he was gonna give me

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Choices that I'm not a pauper that I wasn't a pauper that I I wasn't this orphan that had to beg and and he was

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Gonna give me plenty of choices. Well

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Y'all he did

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There were there were several good guys that I was talking to they weren't all the best one for me, but they were good guys

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praise the Lord God gave me discernment and wisdom and I really saw that Brian was God's best for me and

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A lot of things set him apart from all the other guys and God highlighted him to me tremendously

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But I want you to hear that truth. God gave me

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choices

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He allowed me to choose and he will allow you to do so as well

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God is a giver and one of the most beautiful gifts. He has given us is free will in choice

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He respects our boundaries and he's not gonna force anything on you again

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He stands at the door of your heart and he knocks I'm gonna talk about this scripture later

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He's knocking on the door of your hearts even during heart work. He's not forcing this heart work on you

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He's not like hey, you have to do this. He's saying hey daughter

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Princess my beloved. I love you so much that I don't want you to stay in the heart condition that you're in because it's hurting

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you

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It's leading you into relationships and places and space spaces that are not my best for you

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And so I want you to come out of those places because I love you and I have something so much greater for you and

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Then we get to choose if we're going to follow him into that or not

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Submission I want you to think about this truth as well

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There are some religious men and women that have weaponized this word and portrayed their thoughts and messages as if they were from God himself

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But they've actually been misrepresenting God in his heart and truth regarding what submit

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Actually means now I want to you know

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kind of tow this line really carefully because I know what it's like to be a leader and a pastor and

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You think you're communicating?

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Excuse me communicating something, you know from the heart of God clearly and that is you know

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You're your true intention, but if you have a filter where you look at God's Word in his heart

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Incorrectly, guess what? You're gonna convey the message through that filter, aren't you? Right?

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And so we want to forgive those people that have taught us incorrectly that have you know weaponized this word submission

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to you know force us into

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Submitting to that person and authority over us even if they're abusing you and mistreating you. No, that's not God's heart

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So we want to lean into okay. What is really from heaven regarding submission? What is God's heart?

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Regarding

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Choosing to walk in this path. The Holy Spirit is one who can help us discern what God's truth is about submission

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So if you're not sure what that is, the Holy Spirit can help you

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More and more and more in the days to come the more that you heal the more clearly you're gonna see the Word of God

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I can tell you that to the best of my ability

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I always you know pursued God's Word with truth to the best that I could but again, you know, even back then

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Dreams that I would have they always came through the filter of fear because I had so much fear that was in my life

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And so sometimes I would even read the Word of God and receive it through the lens of fear

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Do you see how that works everyone?

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Same thing regarding submission. Some of you all are reading the Word of God and and you think God is is mean and he's cannot wait

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to punish you and get you in line because you've been bad,

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but that's not who God is, right?

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He is always saying, hey, daughter, don't go that way.

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That's not what's meant for you.

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This isn't your family.

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I have something better for you over here.

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Come and read the word and spend time with me

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because I wanna tell you something

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that is a secret from heaven.

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And he wants to speak to us and relate to us.

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We have to be willing to allow God to heal us

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and reveal to us areas where we have misconceptions

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and belief systems that are preventing us

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from living the healthy and amazing life

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that he has for us.

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So have you asked God recently,

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God, is there any belief system that I have right now

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that does not align with heaven?

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That doesn't sound like you, that doesn't look like you?

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Is there any misconception I have of you, God,

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in your character?

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I want you all to just really be asking yourself tonight,

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how do you view God?

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Do you really trust him?

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Because here's the thing, if we struggle to submit to God,

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he's the person that we should submit,

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I mean, he's the heavenly being that we should submit

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to first and foremost.

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And many of us struggle to do that, why?

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Because at the core, we don't really trust him.

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That's reality.

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And I had to really look at that myself too.

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There were so many times where I would say I trusted him,

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but then deep down, I didn't.

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I wanted to, and in my head I did,

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but my heart, because of the things I had gone through

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in my life, there were times where I blamed God

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for things that I went through

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and the way that people treated me.

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I blamed him for those things until one day I realized,

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you know what, I chose some of this stuff, I chose.

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And I stopped blaming God and I took ownership

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for the choices that I had been making.

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Now, obviously when other people abused me sexually,

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that didn't have anything to do with my choice,

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that was their choices and their free will

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being inflicted upon me in unhealthy ways.

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And so in that regard,

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I wanna talk about Colossians 3.21 tonight.

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Fathers, do not embitter your children

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or they will become discouraged.

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That's what it says.

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In the King James Version, it says,

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fathers, provoke not your children to anger,

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lest they be discouraged.

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The provoke word there literally means

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don't stir up your children to anger,

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don't excite them or stimulate them

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or come in and kind of prod and poke them

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into this place and heart posture of anger.

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When it talks about lest they would be discouraged,

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that actually means be disheartened, be dispirited,

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broken in spirit and be dismayed.

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I know some of you from some of your stories

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and things that you've shared,

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the things that your dad or other,

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maybe even your ex-husband or things that people have done

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that are men and authority in your life

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that has provoked you to this place of anger,

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this heart posture of bitterness

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and resentment, unforgiveness,

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and you've become discouraged and disheartened.

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And God wants to invite you out of that tonight.

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That's why we're talking about it.

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He doesn't want you to stay in that place.

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He wants you to step further into healing,

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release those situations and those people to him

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and allow him to set you free

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from the pain that fuels your anger, so to speak.

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I wanna talk a little bit more

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about what I just mentioned there,

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the husbands, the ex-husbands and men in authority.

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Maybe it was a boss at work.

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Maybe it was someone in a church

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that was in authority over you that actually,

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whether they made a mistake or not

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or maybe they lorded their authority over you

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or I don't know what that looks like.

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I just know that I hear about it all the time, you all.

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And I've gone through that myself.

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My ex-husband literally was one way

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in front of other people

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and he was a different person at home.

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When we were in front of people,

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he was on fire for the Lord,

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could pick up a microphone

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and preach like nobody's business.

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But man, was a nasty like rattlesnake kind of a person

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when we were alone.

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And even to the point

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that when we were going through counseling,

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when I was really trying,

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like I was trying to save my marriage,

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I was doing everything I knew how to do.

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And he just acted like he was so convincing

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when we'd be in those sessions.

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Like he just, like the counselor really did not think

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that he was the one doing anything here.

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And we would go home

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and not only would he be mean and spiteful

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and just so negative all the time with me,

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like my stepson, literally if he made a mistake,

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you'd hit him upside the head and call him stupid.

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Like, what are you doing, stupid?

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Well.

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Okay, how do you go and sit in church and praise the Lord and then you come home and do that stuff?

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And then that's just a little example y'all it was a lot worse than that

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But I'm saying these things because here's the reality when we have people in authority over us, you know

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Of course, I was married at the time

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My husband at that time was in authority over me and when they abuse that authority

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If we're not careful

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there's all these roots of bitterness that get down in our heart because of those situations happening and

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That can provoke us to this anger and these heart postures that are not healthy for us

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And so I want to encourage you to forgive these people that have hurt you that I've abused you

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They've done unhealthy things. They've said unhealthy things

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Literally harmful things some of you all I mean

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I've heard stories where some of you all have had dads like pulling you by the hair

401
00:20:53.220 --> 00:20:56.720
Like pulling you upstairs and all kinds of stuff. That's terrible

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And I'm so sorry that that happened to you. That was never God's heart for you

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00:21:03.400 --> 00:21:05.640
And even that if that's not what happened to you

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00:21:05.640 --> 00:21:08.880
Maybe yours is just your dad told you to be quiet and not be heard

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Like I don't know what your situation is, but I know that it broke the father's heart when your heart was breaking

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I know that for sure

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How do I know that because God told me that about my own story I

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Know y'all when Lazarus died

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Jesus wept

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Jesus was a direct example of the father's heart to us. Do you think that God doesn't feel?

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When you hurt when you're sad when you cry when your heart is breaking

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He loves to hear from you and it breaks his heart when his daughter is

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Breaking

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It's sad or feels alone. He wants to help us step further into freedom and not believe the lie that we're alone in this world

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God is not a controller

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He's not a manipulator

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He's not this taskmaster

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Forcing his will on you

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Again it's an invitation into truth if you read the Word of God and

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I know some of the Old Testament some people read that and they can get super confused y'all you have to remember Jesus came

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That's what the New Testament's about. So yes, it is a very valid the Old Testament's always valid

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There's powerful stuff in there

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but Jesus came to man fulfill so much of of what was in the Old Testament and make a way for grace and

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Make a way for relationship and intimacy with God the Father just as Jesus was one and is one with him

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So I want you to really be praying in these next few weeks for you to grow in your understanding of God's character

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Because that's key for you and not just like okay. Yeah God help me to know your character

427
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But like God who are you as love to me?

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Who are you as kind to me? Who are you? God is faithful to me

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What is what is your faithfulness to me mean God like show me show me what that looks like what that feels like and what?

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That sounds like God show me who you are is good

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The goodness of God can be experienced you all in the land of the living God has that for you. God has that for me

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There's scripture that talks about the goodness of God literally like it was chasing Elijah down. Do you think that can't still happen today?

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His blessings can literally chase us down in this world

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Who is God as peace?

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Are you struggling and going through a situation right now that you literally do not know?

436
00:23:38.840 --> 00:23:45.420
How to get out of it or go through it if that's you God himself is peace

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00:23:45.420 --> 00:23:50.680
he wants to show you who he is and and how he can literally come into the middle of your situation and

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Turn all the chaos and the storm into stillness and calm and peace because that's who he is

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I want you just to be thinking about the the truth that God with us Emanuel

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What does that mean to you?

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To really think about God is with you

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00:24:14.220 --> 00:24:15.280
right now

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Not just me

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But he's with you Rosa he's with you Chrissy's with you Kelly like right where you're at right now and

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He brings the the power and the revelation of everything that set Jesus free from inside of that tomb

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He rose him from the dead

447
00:24:33.440 --> 00:24:39.680
That same power is available to you for your whole life to be transformed not just during the heart work

448
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But beyond that in every area of your life. Some of y'all came in here for your love story. That's amazing

449
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And I love that the Lord draws everybody in for that

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And through that some people come in just for healing but no matter what led you here

451
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I promise you if you will open your heart completely to this process and what God wants to do in you

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00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.060
Some of you all, your whole life is gonna change.

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Like literally, like you in a few years,

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your life will be completely different.

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How do I know that?

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Because I've experienced it.

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I've walked this out, you all.

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And so some of you are gonna experience

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like childlikeness and fun that you haven't experienced

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00:25:21.800 --> 00:25:22.820
even when you were a kid.

461
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Yes, that is true.

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It's going to happen, it can happen.

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It will happen if you continue to believe

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and like, yes, Lord, I'm gonna partner

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with the things of heaven and the truth

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that you have for me.

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And I can walk into the fullness of all of that.

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It can be yours.

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The word submission means to yield to the power of another.

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To yield to the power of another.

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Right now, I want you just, right now,

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just think about it regarding God.

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That's where we're gonna start first, okay?

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So if you're yielding to the power of another,

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you're actually letting go in the process

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and learning how to trust God, okay?

477
00:26:02.540 --> 00:26:04.680
So you're saying in that, you know,

478
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we start you off in the beginning of heart work

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with that supernatural surrender.

480
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That's like, you know, week one,

481
00:26:10.800 --> 00:26:14.520
letting go and surrendering the pen fully to the Lord.

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And the reality is, is we come into this program

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and we do our best to surrender that pen, don't we?

484
00:26:20.400 --> 00:26:22.940
But then a little bit more every time,

485
00:26:23.700 --> 00:26:25.100
Karen Roa knows, right?

486
00:26:25.100 --> 00:26:26.540
She can attest to this.

487
00:26:26.880 --> 00:26:28.080
Isn't there a deeper surrender

488
00:26:28.080 --> 00:26:29.840
the further that you go into heart healing?

489
00:26:29.960 --> 00:26:31.940
It's another layer of surrendering.

490
00:26:32.020 --> 00:26:33.840
It's another layer of surrendering.

491
00:26:34.380 --> 00:26:36.100
Well, I said that to Karen

492
00:26:36.100 --> 00:26:38.500
because she's been hanging with me here,

493
00:26:38.500 --> 00:26:40.580
doing an amazing job in the heart work.

494
00:26:41.160 --> 00:26:44.540
And God's just been doing some awesome things in her life.

495
00:26:44.920 --> 00:26:46.820
And, you know, sometimes, ladies,

496
00:26:46.860 --> 00:26:50.080
it might take some of you a little longer than others,

497
00:26:50.080 --> 00:26:50.920
and that's okay.

498
00:26:51.340 --> 00:26:53.560
I don't want you to compare yourself to anybody else.

499
00:26:53.560 --> 00:26:55.780
This is your process.

500
00:26:57.780 --> 00:27:01.560
Whatever it is that you need, be here for it.

501
00:27:03.020 --> 00:27:03.460
Okay?

502
00:27:03.860 --> 00:27:06.840
If it takes some of you five weeks and that's it, cool.

503
00:27:07.540 --> 00:27:08.300
That's great.

504
00:27:08.880 --> 00:27:10.280
But I don't want anyone,

505
00:27:10.380 --> 00:27:11.600
because I can tell even sometimes

506
00:27:11.600 --> 00:27:13.220
when y'all give the updates, you're like,

507
00:27:13.380 --> 00:27:16.560
I'm only in week two, I've been here forever.

508
00:27:17.940 --> 00:27:21.040
And I get it, but hey, let's not do that, all right?

509
00:27:21.040 --> 00:27:22.780
Let's be kind to yourself.

510
00:27:23.320 --> 00:27:25.240
If you're struggling with distraction,

511
00:27:25.540 --> 00:27:27.440
or this afternoon I was coaching someone,

512
00:27:27.560 --> 00:27:29.120
and, you know, they're still struggling

513
00:27:29.120 --> 00:27:31.120
just to do any of the work,

514
00:27:31.260 --> 00:27:32.720
but yet they keep getting called

515
00:27:32.720 --> 00:27:34.580
into all these different prayer calls and different things.

516
00:27:34.620 --> 00:27:37.160
And that's amazing, y'all, it is.

517
00:27:37.280 --> 00:27:38.760
But here's the reality.

518
00:27:40.580 --> 00:27:42.620
Sometimes we avoid things

519
00:27:42.820 --> 00:27:45.200
because there's this level of,

520
00:27:45.360 --> 00:27:48.180
we have to face things within ourselves

521
00:27:48.820 --> 00:27:51.240
that we might be afraid subconsciously to face.

522
00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:52.920
And because of that,

523
00:27:53.160 --> 00:27:55.640
we may not even know why we're avoiding something.

524
00:27:56.880 --> 00:27:59.760
Okay, so avoidance is a self-protection mechanism.

525
00:28:00.720 --> 00:28:04.600
So if you're avoiding or procrastinating doing the heart work

526
00:28:04.600 --> 00:28:07.260
or every single little thing comes up,

527
00:28:07.640 --> 00:28:09.920
you know, then you might wanna just ask the Lord,

528
00:28:10.140 --> 00:28:11.880
is there a reason that I do this?

529
00:28:11.940 --> 00:28:13.400
For some of you, you know,

530
00:28:13.400 --> 00:28:16.600
you've been struggling with brain fog and hormonal things.

531
00:28:16.600 --> 00:28:19.020
This is real stuff, okay?

532
00:28:19.360 --> 00:28:20.820
Now, I don't want it to become excuses,

533
00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:22.500
but I do feel like even though

534
00:28:22.500 --> 00:28:23.500
we're talking about submission,

535
00:28:23.840 --> 00:28:26.360
it's coming up in my spirit, so I'm talking about it.

536
00:28:26.460 --> 00:28:27.920
I want you all to be kind to yourself.

537
00:28:28.560 --> 00:28:31.140
I encourage you all to every day,

538
00:28:31.260 --> 00:28:35.300
God, what's one thing I can do today in the heart work?

539
00:28:35.380 --> 00:28:38.600
So for you today, it's read five pages in your book,

540
00:28:38.620 --> 00:28:39.860
and that's all you can do.

541
00:28:40.180 --> 00:28:41.480
That's better than nothing.

542
00:28:42.260 --> 00:28:44.480
That's what I want you all to kind of grab onto.

543
00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:48.240
If all you can do is watch one video today, awesome.

544
00:28:48.540 --> 00:28:50.120
That's still moving forward.

545
00:28:50.360 --> 00:28:51.860
So let's just partner with God.

546
00:28:52.080 --> 00:28:52.560
What's one thing?

547
00:28:52.620 --> 00:28:55.000
If you can do more than one thing, great.

548
00:28:55.080 --> 00:28:58.500
But if you can't, just taking one step every day

549
00:28:58.500 --> 00:29:01.960
is gonna help you keep momentum going and moving forward.

550
00:29:02.280 --> 00:29:03.560
All right, so let's keep going.

551
00:29:03.700 --> 00:29:06.240
The word submission means being willing to submit

552
00:29:06.280 --> 00:29:09.680
to absolute and greater truth than what has happened

553
00:29:09.680 --> 00:29:13.140
or is happening in our lives right now.

554
00:29:13.760 --> 00:29:16.560
When we know the one that we are submitting to

555
00:29:16.560 --> 00:29:20.840
and trust them, it can help us choose to submit to them.

556
00:29:21.840 --> 00:29:23.220
I'm gonna say that again.

557
00:29:23.780 --> 00:29:27.940
When we know, K-N-O-W, the one we are submitting to

558
00:29:27.940 --> 00:29:32.100
and trust them, it can help us choose to submit to them.

559
00:29:32.380 --> 00:29:34.680
So let's talk about this regarding God.

560
00:29:37.060 --> 00:29:39.800
If you don't know God's character,

561
00:29:41.060 --> 00:29:43.880
it's gonna be harder to trust him, correct?

562
00:29:44.980 --> 00:29:47.180
Which is then going to impact your ability

563
00:29:47.180 --> 00:29:48.220
to submit to him.

564
00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:51.280
When he's asking you to obey something

565
00:29:51.280 --> 00:29:52.660
or he's saying, hey, daughter,

566
00:29:53.140 --> 00:29:54.540
don't go into that relationship.

567
00:29:54.740 --> 00:29:56.860
That guy's, there's red flags.

568
00:29:56.920 --> 00:29:58.140
Like, hey, this isn't healthy.

569
00:29:58.240 --> 00:29:59.660
And then we keep going.

570
00:30:00.980 --> 00:30:04.260
It's because we're actually not trusting God in that moment.

571
00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:10.220
We're trusting our own flesh or mindset, or we're getting into fear and being afraid,

572
00:30:10.400 --> 00:30:13.560
oh, if I don't date this guy, there might not be anybody else.

573
00:30:13.580 --> 00:30:18.480
There's all kinds of fears that surface that lead us to make these unhealthy choices.

574
00:30:20.080 --> 00:30:23.660
Now let's, let's relate this to a man.

575
00:30:23.660 --> 00:30:27.800
Let's give two examples, an unhealthy person and a healthy person.

576
00:30:27.800 --> 00:30:30.540
I've lived this out, so I can tell you from experience as well.

577
00:30:31.320 --> 00:30:38.060
In my past, my ex-husband and even my spiritual daughter's dad, not healthy guys, abusive,

578
00:30:39.260 --> 00:30:43.180
very like controlling, very manipulative, went through all kinds of things.

579
00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:45.140
So guess what?

580
00:30:45.280 --> 00:30:47.100
I struggled to trust them, you all.

581
00:30:47.820 --> 00:30:48.640
For good reason.

582
00:30:48.740 --> 00:30:52.640
They showed me over and over and over again by their actions, not just, remember, we're

583
00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:54.020
not listening to just words.

584
00:30:54.040 --> 00:30:56.580
We want to see the actions of people's lives.

585
00:30:57.580 --> 00:30:59.200
The fruit, we want to look for the fruit.

586
00:30:59.320 --> 00:31:03.060
We want to be fruit inspectors, not judges, fruit inspectors.

587
00:31:04.240 --> 00:31:09.860
And so I struggled to submit to my ex-husband because I couldn't trust him.

588
00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:16.940
I'm not saying it makes it okay, but I'm saying the reality is that was hard to do.

589
00:31:17.400 --> 00:31:21.980
Now I'm in this marriage where I genuinely can trust my husband.

590
00:31:22.980 --> 00:31:26.380
Like I can literally give him my heart and trust him.

591
00:31:27.300 --> 00:31:28.600
And I'm not making that up.

592
00:31:29.940 --> 00:31:35.040
I genuinely know he has my best interest at heart and that he cares about me and that

593
00:31:35.040 --> 00:31:36.360
he's thinking about me.

594
00:31:36.360 --> 00:31:42.220
And so I have found that it's not hard to trust him, you all, or submit to him.

595
00:31:43.360 --> 00:31:45.920
Who are we submitting to?

596
00:31:45.920 --> 00:31:46.500
God?

597
00:31:47.680 --> 00:31:48.500
Are we?

598
00:31:48.540 --> 00:31:49.440
Are we really submitting?

599
00:31:49.780 --> 00:31:51.160
Because here's another key.

600
00:31:51.700 --> 00:31:57.060
I have found that being rooted in God's love and understanding his love more fully is what

601
00:31:57.060 --> 00:31:59.720
has enabled me to submit to him.

602
00:32:00.760 --> 00:32:04.620
If we're afraid to submit to God, we need to look at that.

603
00:32:05.060 --> 00:32:11.480
Remember, perfect love casts out fear because fear has to do with torment.

604
00:32:12.020 --> 00:32:18.040
So if we are fearing being able to submit to God or, you know, that struggle to trust,

605
00:32:18.040 --> 00:32:25.440
well then that's showing us that there's some part of us that does not understand love,

606
00:32:25.620 --> 00:32:27.060
which is who God is.

607
00:32:28.320 --> 00:32:29.920
Do you see how this works, everyone?

608
00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:32.180
It's really important.

609
00:32:33.100 --> 00:32:37.800
Submission is not about someone dominating us, controlling us, manipulating us.

610
00:32:38.320 --> 00:32:39.960
It's not about that.

611
00:32:40.840 --> 00:32:46.340
Submission is a mutual respect and surrender towards each other.

612
00:32:46.340 --> 00:32:50.580
So mutually respecting, mutually loving, respecting, coming together.

613
00:32:51.020 --> 00:32:51.400
Okay?

614
00:32:51.580 --> 00:32:53.300
A mutual thing.

615
00:32:53.440 --> 00:32:54.400
You're a team.

616
00:32:54.640 --> 00:32:56.520
That's what it's supposed to look like.

617
00:32:57.800 --> 00:33:01.640
And a lot of churches in the past, at least from my experience, did not teach that way.

618
00:33:03.440 --> 00:33:06.320
So I'm telling you, that is actually what the Bible says.

619
00:33:06.500 --> 00:33:07.600
It is a mutual.

620
00:33:07.920 --> 00:33:12.680
Now, yes, there is that scripture about, you know, husbands love your wives, wives respect

621
00:33:12.680 --> 00:33:13.240
your husbands.

622
00:33:13.360 --> 00:33:14.840
100% believe that.

623
00:33:14.840 --> 00:33:16.280
But here's the reality.

624
00:33:17.520 --> 00:33:21.660
That's what the love language is of the two different genders, okay?

625
00:33:21.820 --> 00:33:23.400
Women need to feel loved.

626
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:25.920
Men desire respect.

627
00:33:26.600 --> 00:33:31.600
But if I'm mutually giving him love and he's giving me love, guess what I'm going to automatically

628
00:33:31.600 --> 00:33:32.340
be able to do?

629
00:33:33.000 --> 00:33:34.340
I'm going to be able to respect him.

630
00:33:34.840 --> 00:33:39.380
And if I respect him out of my love, he's going to automatically, that's going to reciprocate

631
00:33:39.520 --> 00:33:42.060
that love and respect, that love and respect flowing.

632
00:33:42.060 --> 00:33:47.560
I don't know why it became this thing where only, you know, the men love and the women

633
00:33:47.560 --> 00:33:48.000
respect.

634
00:33:48.100 --> 00:33:49.160
That's what your duty is.

635
00:33:49.360 --> 00:33:50.280
There's even that book on it.

636
00:33:50.280 --> 00:33:51.540
And I'm not saying the book is wrong.

637
00:33:51.600 --> 00:33:52.140
That's out there.

638
00:33:52.260 --> 00:33:53.280
People love that book.

639
00:33:53.360 --> 00:33:58.420
I remember when I was in my, my abusive marriage, we were in this class and we were reading

640
00:33:58.460 --> 00:33:58.920
that book.

641
00:33:58.920 --> 00:34:04.900
And I felt like it was a chain around my neck because I'm like, how do, how am I supposed

642
00:34:05.100 --> 00:34:07.360
to respect this person that's abusing me?

643
00:34:07.360 --> 00:34:09.060
I remember thinking that.

644
00:34:09.920 --> 00:34:12.340
And I was just like, I can't read this book.

645
00:34:12.800 --> 00:34:14.139
Now other people love it.

646
00:34:14.139 --> 00:34:15.080
And I think that's amazing.

647
00:34:15.159 --> 00:34:18.960
And I might love it now today because I'm in a totally different place.

648
00:34:19.500 --> 00:34:23.780
But if you've read that book and you're in an, you've been in an unhealthy relationship

649
00:34:23.820 --> 00:34:28.860
and it literally caused you to go further into toxicity, I want you to understand it's

650
00:34:28.860 --> 00:34:31.560
because that, that place you were in was not healthy.

651
00:34:31.940 --> 00:34:38.440
And so God wants us to respect and love from this, the overflow, the overflow of what we're

652
00:34:38.440 --> 00:34:43.239
experiencing with God, the overflow of the trust and what's built in that relationship.

653
00:34:44.179 --> 00:34:44.739
All right.

654
00:34:44.739 --> 00:34:51.679
So I want to share a little bit about this rebellion and the mother towards mothers.

655
00:34:52.600 --> 00:34:58.560
I was telling the ladies this afternoon in particular, you know, I was thinking a lot

656
00:34:58.560 --> 00:34:59.920
about this lesson today.

657
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.080
I don't always talk about the rebellion towards mothers, but God really was laying that on

658
00:35:04.080 --> 00:35:04.560
my heart.

659
00:35:04.680 --> 00:35:07.960
And I was thinking back about my relationship with my parents.

660
00:35:08.120 --> 00:35:09.660
Both of my parents are now deceased.

661
00:35:10.040 --> 00:35:12.720
My dad passed away earlier in 2025.

662
00:35:13.060 --> 00:35:14.980
My mom passed away back in 2022.

663
00:35:16.140 --> 00:35:20.320
I didn't really have any relationship with my dad, like at all.

664
00:35:20.620 --> 00:35:24.700
And my mom, I had some kind of relationship.

665
00:35:24.880 --> 00:35:25.780
That's how I'll say it.

666
00:35:25.940 --> 00:35:26.420
Okay.

667
00:35:26.420 --> 00:35:28.080
And I love her and I bless her.

668
00:35:28.080 --> 00:35:32.380
I really believe that she did the best that she could with the information that she had.

669
00:35:32.700 --> 00:35:36.840
I wished that she had been able to be set free in a lot greater ways.

670
00:35:37.680 --> 00:35:39.020
Unfortunately, she did not.

671
00:35:39.200 --> 00:35:42.800
And there was a lot of turbulence in our relationship because of it.

672
00:35:42.980 --> 00:35:48.720
When I was a teenager, at one point, I've told this story in depth before, I won't tonight

673
00:35:48.720 --> 00:35:52.760
just for time's sake, but she was upset with me about something.

674
00:35:52.820 --> 00:35:55.060
And we were in this public environment.

675
00:35:55.060 --> 00:35:56.300
We were in a parking lot.

676
00:35:56.300 --> 00:36:02.460
And she blew up on me in this parking lot and basically unloaded on me that day that

677
00:36:02.460 --> 00:36:03.840
they never wanted me.

678
00:36:04.140 --> 00:36:05.720
That she would have been on birth control.

679
00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:07.080
They got pregnant with me.

680
00:36:07.300 --> 00:36:08.860
They never wanted me to begin with.

681
00:36:08.920 --> 00:36:10.640
It was this whole big thing.

682
00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:17.320
I'm sharing that with you because from that day on, it wasn't something I just chose like,

683
00:36:17.500 --> 00:36:19.340
oh, I'm just going to rebel against my mom.

684
00:36:19.340 --> 00:36:20.820
I did not have that thought.

685
00:36:20.820 --> 00:36:25.880
But in my heart, that really wounded me deeply.

686
00:36:26.500 --> 00:36:32.440
Like from that moment on, it was like, oh, no wonder I've always felt like an outsider.

687
00:36:33.420 --> 00:36:38.320
And basically it confirmed things that, you know, I grew up believing.

688
00:36:39.060 --> 00:36:42.580
My dad left you all when I was literally a newborn.

689
00:36:43.420 --> 00:36:47.060
So long before that even happened, my mom never wanted me.

690
00:36:47.060 --> 00:36:53.260
And y'all understand that if you are pregnant with a baby and you don't want that baby and

691
00:36:53.260 --> 00:36:57.520
you think about how much you don't want that baby, it actually sends stuff to that baby

692
00:36:58.380 --> 00:36:59.680
in the womb.

693
00:36:59.740 --> 00:37:05.200
And that baby is born with the whole like spirits of rejection and roots of rejection.

694
00:37:05.460 --> 00:37:06.280
That's real.

695
00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:08.520
I've done reading on it.

696
00:37:08.880 --> 00:37:14.240
That's why like I came to understand like, oh my gosh, this is why I battled this so

697
00:37:14.240 --> 00:37:15.400
much years ago.

698
00:37:16.040 --> 00:37:21.640
And so then when she said that stuff to me in the parking lot, it made it even deeper.

699
00:37:22.580 --> 00:37:26.580
OK, because she she confirmed everything I had felt up to that point.

700
00:37:28.200 --> 00:37:33.760
And so subconsciously, what happened from that day forward out of that brokenness, I

701
00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:35.860
started becoming bitter towards my mom and my heart.

702
00:37:36.740 --> 00:37:39.820
And I started rebelling in all different kinds of ways.

703
00:37:40.080 --> 00:37:44.680
I never was like I was never like like a bad kid.

704
00:37:44.680 --> 00:37:47.520
I don't want to say like I didn't go out and just raise hell, you all.

705
00:37:47.560 --> 00:37:52.220
But like I started sneaking out and I didn't even really go do bad things.

706
00:37:52.260 --> 00:37:55.160
We would go sit and hang out on the back street and talk and all the things.

707
00:37:55.260 --> 00:37:57.600
But before that point, I really never did those things.

708
00:37:57.980 --> 00:37:59.060
I started drinking.

709
00:37:59.700 --> 00:38:03.920
I started smoking and just doing things that I had never done before.

710
00:38:04.020 --> 00:38:10.300
And I really attribute it to the rebellion that started in my heart from the the the

711
00:38:10.300 --> 00:38:12.920
pain and the bitterness and the resentment that set in there.

712
00:38:13.780 --> 00:38:17.660
And then from that day forward, a lot of things changed.

713
00:38:17.740 --> 00:38:23.140
My mom actually like she never came to me and apologized, but instead she started

714
00:38:23.140 --> 00:38:26.840
becoming very jealous of my my relationship with my best friend's mom.

715
00:38:26.920 --> 00:38:30.020
Well, my best my best friend's mom was nice to me.

716
00:38:30.720 --> 00:38:36.520
So, of course, I gravitated towards her because my mom was not being nice to me in

717
00:38:37.080 --> 00:38:37.920
a lot of ways.

718
00:38:38.580 --> 00:38:45.660
And so I had to really go through a heart healing regarding the rebellion that came

719
00:38:45.660 --> 00:38:51.240
inside of me, because what started the internal dialogue is you're not going to

720
00:38:51.240 --> 00:38:52.300
tell me what to do.

721
00:38:53.560 --> 00:38:55.300
That's kind of what I partnered with.

722
00:38:55.400 --> 00:38:59.700
And you all for years, I didn't even realize that's how I was approaching God.

723
00:39:00.340 --> 00:39:03.360
Like, I trust you, God, but you're not going to tell me what to do.

724
00:39:04.140 --> 00:39:05.100
I've got this.

725
00:39:05.140 --> 00:39:06.500
I can I can do this.

726
00:39:06.560 --> 00:39:07.700
I can figure this out.

727
00:39:07.920 --> 00:39:12.760
You know, my fixer upper ideas, all the things, even people that I was trying to

728
00:39:12.760 --> 00:39:12.760


729
00:39:13.080 --> 00:39:16.900
And I'm not saying I was out like literally saying to God, God, you're not going to

730
00:39:16.900 --> 00:39:17.520
tell me what to do.

731
00:39:17.580 --> 00:39:20.380
But there was this subconscious thing going on in me.

732
00:39:22.060 --> 00:39:23.840
I didn't really trust him.

733
00:39:24.700 --> 00:39:26.640
Because I couldn't trust my parents.

734
00:39:28.160 --> 00:39:29.780
Do you all see the connection there?

735
00:39:30.460 --> 00:39:34.240
And so for for those of you that are hearing this, you know, no matter what your

736
00:39:34.970 --> 00:39:40.050
Even if you've had great parents, if you struggle with rebellion towards authority,

737
00:39:40.270 --> 00:39:41.430
I want you to look at that.

738
00:39:41.670 --> 00:39:44.070
Don't just continue to keep partnering with that.

739
00:39:44.450 --> 00:39:48.250
If you're at work and you just like your boss asked you to do something and you have

740
00:39:48.250 --> 00:39:50.170
this really flippant bad attitude.

741
00:39:52.630 --> 00:39:54.270
Why are they trying to boss me around?

742
00:39:54.350 --> 00:39:55.870
I'm not going to do what they're telling me to do.

743
00:39:55.870 --> 00:39:56.990
You know, those kind of things.

744
00:39:57.050 --> 00:39:58.210
Y'all, that's not God.

745
00:39:58.290 --> 00:39:59.590
That's not good for us.

746
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.240
And so we need to really ask the Lord to reveal those areas for healing.

747
00:40:03.520 --> 00:40:04.920
Where is that coming from?

748
00:40:05.800 --> 00:40:07.480
What is the root of that rebellion?

749
00:40:09.040 --> 00:40:13.020
You know, the Bible relates rebellion to witchcraft, and I know we don't want to,

750
00:40:13.320 --> 00:40:17.540
I'm not going to go too far into that, but I want you to understand the severity of it.

751
00:40:18.120 --> 00:40:18.480
Okay.

752
00:40:19.540 --> 00:40:23.680
God wants to invite us to come out of rebellious attitudes and mindsets

753
00:40:23.680 --> 00:40:25.680
towards him, towards other people.

754
00:40:25.720 --> 00:40:27.400
And Hey, even towards ourselves.

755
00:40:28.260 --> 00:40:31.080
Revelation 3, 20 says, behold, I stand at the door and knock.

756
00:40:31.280 --> 00:40:35.040
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him

757
00:40:35.040 --> 00:40:36.860
and eat with him and he with me.

758
00:40:37.500 --> 00:40:39.440
Sounds pretty intimate, right?

759
00:40:41.060 --> 00:40:44.300
God is saying he's going to stand at the door and knock.

760
00:40:44.860 --> 00:40:46.620
And I think he's even doing it tonight.

761
00:40:47.480 --> 00:40:51.200
He's knocking on the door of your heart and he's saying, Hey, if you hear my

762
00:40:51.200 --> 00:40:55.280
voice and you open the door to me, I'm going to come in and I'm going to eat

763
00:40:55.280 --> 00:40:57.500
with you and you're going to eat with me.

764
00:40:58.160 --> 00:41:02.680
And to me, I'm, I just equate that to, we're going to have a conversation and

765
00:41:02.680 --> 00:41:04.320
it's going to be kind and loving ladies.

766
00:41:04.320 --> 00:41:09.060
It's not going to be God pounding on you, telling you how bad you are.

767
00:41:11.040 --> 00:41:16.080
He might convict you and might say, Hey, you're better than this.

768
00:41:16.440 --> 00:41:17.960
I have more for you than this.

769
00:41:18.120 --> 00:41:23.180
But if you hear voices of shame, guilt, and condemnation, that is from the enemy.

770
00:41:23.180 --> 00:41:26.000
And remember that shame is a spirit.

771
00:41:26.320 --> 00:41:26.700
Okay.

772
00:41:27.460 --> 00:41:31.480
The enemy assaults us with shame and guilt and condemnation, and

773
00:41:31.480 --> 00:41:33.600
he's sending it through his spirit.

774
00:41:34.380 --> 00:41:36.900
But that is not God's heart for you and your healing process.

775
00:41:37.100 --> 00:41:38.560
We encourage you to yield to God.

776
00:41:38.800 --> 00:41:41.380
And remember, he will not force his way on you.

777
00:41:42.280 --> 00:41:45.920
He's standing at the door and he's asking permission to enter and you get to give

778
00:41:45.920 --> 00:41:51.040
him the opportunity to come in and you get to choose to surrender and submit and let go.

779
00:41:51.640 --> 00:41:57.500
Job 22, 21 in the NLT version says this, submit to God and you will have peace.

780
00:41:58.080 --> 00:42:00.820
Then things will go well with you.

781
00:42:01.900 --> 00:42:07.740
Job 22, 21 NLT version, submit to God and you will have peace.

782
00:42:08.220 --> 00:42:09.620
Then things will go well with you.

783
00:42:09.720 --> 00:42:15.560
The peace here in this scripture actually is to be in a covenant of peace for God.

784
00:42:15.600 --> 00:42:18.240
He's saying, I'm going to complete my peace in you.

785
00:42:18.260 --> 00:42:19.260
I'm going to finish it.

786
00:42:19.260 --> 00:42:22.120
I'm going to make you whole and good in the peace.

787
00:42:22.520 --> 00:42:24.540
And then things are going to go well with you.

788
00:42:24.960 --> 00:42:31.560
I know like literally the moments in times where I've shifted in a greater revelation

789
00:42:31.560 --> 00:42:36.900
of his peace in my life and who he is as peace, like the waves of just the change

790
00:42:36.900 --> 00:42:42.860
that it brings, and I want you to understand how important covenant is to the Lord.

791
00:42:43.320 --> 00:42:45.020
Like covenant is everything.

792
00:42:45.480 --> 00:42:48.920
I mean, Jesus came and created a covenant with us.

793
00:42:49.260 --> 00:42:50.440
It's powerful.

794
00:42:50.820 --> 00:42:51.480
It's binding.

795
00:42:53.220 --> 00:42:57.540
Proverbs three, verse five in the message translation says this, trust God from the

796
00:42:57.540 --> 00:42:58.300
bottom of your heart.

797
00:42:58.780 --> 00:43:00.780
Don't try to figure out everything on your own.

798
00:43:01.580 --> 00:43:06.300
Listen for God's voice and everything that you do, everywhere that you go, he's the

799
00:43:06.300 --> 00:43:08.700
one who will keep you on track.

800
00:43:09.580 --> 00:43:11.600
Don't assume that you know it all.

801
00:43:12.620 --> 00:43:17.900
So where do you need to surrender to him today and tonight in your thoughts and, and

802
00:43:17.900 --> 00:43:20.780
your choices, you're trying to figure it out on your own.

803
00:43:20.860 --> 00:43:24.180
And God's just saying, Hey, trust me from the bottom of your heart.

804
00:43:24.740 --> 00:43:26.580
Give me everything y'all.

805
00:43:26.860 --> 00:43:29.340
He writes better stories than we could ever write.

806
00:43:30.520 --> 00:43:35.460
Your love story will be better than you could ever ask, think, or imagine if you

807
00:43:35.460 --> 00:43:37.440
will just surrender it fully to him.

808
00:43:38.820 --> 00:43:42.900
And here's the thing, as I was saying a little bit earlier, you're going to find

809
00:43:42.900 --> 00:43:46.140
that as you go, there might be a little bit more that God's asking you to surrender.

810
00:43:46.140 --> 00:43:50.760
And again, if you start to feel fear, like I can't do this, I can't surrender this.

811
00:43:51.240 --> 00:43:52.460
I can't submit to God.

812
00:43:52.740 --> 00:43:56.360
Again, remember fear is false evidence appearing real.

813
00:43:57.460 --> 00:44:01.900
Fear has to do with torment, perfect love, cast out fear.

814
00:44:02.300 --> 00:44:03.960
So how do we get rid of fear?

815
00:44:04.860 --> 00:44:11.300
We grow in the understanding of God's love and who he is as love to us and for us and

816
00:44:11.300 --> 00:44:17.360
in us. And then we partner with faith because the opposite of faith is fear.

817
00:44:18.220 --> 00:44:22.160
Right. So we partner with God, I trust you.

818
00:44:22.780 --> 00:44:25.800
I trust that you love me and you have good plans for me.

819
00:44:26.180 --> 00:44:30.440
Jeremiah 29, 11, if you go into the additional verses there, it talks about, you

820
00:44:30.440 --> 00:44:33.400
know, he doesn't he doesn't have harm and destruction for us.

821
00:44:34.120 --> 00:44:36.540
He has good plans.

822
00:44:37.760 --> 00:44:39.300
He's a good, good father.

823
00:44:39.560 --> 00:44:40.620
That's who he is.

824
00:44:41.300 --> 00:44:46.460
You know, we sing these songs all the time, but so often we don't really believe what

825
00:44:46.460 --> 00:44:52.780
we're singing. And so, again, I don't want you to feel shame, sing it, sing it loud and

826
00:44:52.780 --> 00:44:57.720
proud. But if you don't really believe it, ask him to give you a deeper revelation of

827
00:44:57.360 --> 00:44:59.980
it. One of the ladies, Lisa.

828
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.660
I was on this afternoon, not Lisa Mendrix, a different Lisa, and she was asking how just

829
00:45:06.660 --> 00:45:10.720
something that I said, I don't even remember how I said it, and it really stood out to

830
00:45:10.720 --> 00:45:11.040
her.

831
00:45:12.060 --> 00:45:16.220
Um, I must have been talking, it's something God was saying to me when I was on my Austin

832
00:45:16.220 --> 00:45:21.660
trip and I don't have time to go into it tonight, but just y'all, it just makes me so happy

833
00:45:21.800 --> 00:45:24.880
sometimes the way God talks to me and he talks to you all too.

834
00:45:24.980 --> 00:45:28.480
And you'll learn more and more of the ways that he talks to you in the days to come.

835
00:45:28.480 --> 00:45:34.080
If you don't already recognize that, but it was just such a fun thing and I was talking

836
00:45:34.080 --> 00:45:36.200
to them about it and I just felt so happy.

837
00:45:36.200 --> 00:45:39.600
And she commented like, how do you get to that place?

838
00:45:40.280 --> 00:45:44.220
And so I want to encourage you all, this was my answer to her.

839
00:45:44.240 --> 00:45:48.380
I said, time, number one is time, but you know what?

840
00:45:48.460 --> 00:45:52.020
It also was, I chose to seek that out in particular.

841
00:45:52.600 --> 00:45:55.080
Like I have prayed a lot into God.

842
00:45:55.080 --> 00:46:04.720
Show me who you are as Abba, daddy, good father, the one that I have access to anytime

843
00:46:04.780 --> 00:46:05.440
I want.

844
00:46:07.060 --> 00:46:11.520
His door is always open to me and it's always open to you too, but it's whether or not we

845
00:46:11.520 --> 00:46:15.780
believe that, but that is who he is.

846
00:46:16.280 --> 00:46:21.980
And it took me a while because I didn't experience that with my dad or my mom.

847
00:46:23.720 --> 00:46:28.840
And so I had to gain revelation and insight through books, through other people, through

848
00:46:28.840 --> 00:46:35.600
healing and in courses like this to gain insight from heaven on, on that, those aspects of

849
00:46:35.600 --> 00:46:36.280
who God is.

850
00:46:36.460 --> 00:46:39.940
And so if that's something that you're not sure about, and even if you've had an amazing

851
00:46:39.940 --> 00:46:44.740
dad, if you, if you don't have that kind of closeness with the Lord, he wants that with

852
00:46:44.980 --> 00:46:48.180
you and he would love for you to seek that out with him.

853
00:46:48.180 --> 00:46:50.060
So I want to encourage you to do that if that's you.

854
00:46:50.900 --> 00:46:51.400
All right.

855
00:46:51.400 --> 00:46:55.780
I'm going to give you guys your breakout session question, and then I'm going to read something

856
00:46:55.780 --> 00:46:57.220
over you before you go into breakout.

857
00:46:57.620 --> 00:47:01.600
And your question tonight is, do you struggle with submission and why?

858
00:47:02.740 --> 00:47:05.520
Do you struggle with submission and why?

859
00:47:06.680 --> 00:47:10.180
So I want to encourage you just, um, if you are comfortable, close your eyes.

860
00:47:10.300 --> 00:47:11.620
Let me read this over you.

861
00:47:11.800 --> 00:47:15.480
If you don't want to close your eyes, that's totally fine, but I just feel like being a

862
00:47:15.480 --> 00:47:17.260
contemplative place is kind of the key.

863
00:47:18.680 --> 00:47:19.800
All right, here we go.

864
00:47:19.800 --> 00:47:23.420
And this is the submission activation that is in your heart work book in chapter three,

865
00:47:23.580 --> 00:47:25.020
just so you know what I'm reading to you.

866
00:47:25.020 --> 00:47:25.020


867
00:47:26.660 --> 00:47:31.640
Father God, I give you permission to search me and to reveal anything in my heart that

868
00:47:31.640 --> 00:47:36.840
does not belong to my true identity and that is hindering me from living the life you created

869
00:47:36.840 --> 00:47:37.720
me to live.

870
00:47:38.480 --> 00:47:42.440
Holy Spirit, I invite you into the darkest places in my heart.

871
00:47:44.020 --> 00:47:47.000
Show me the areas that are still wounded and are still hurting.

872
00:47:47.660 --> 00:47:52.840
When you reveal these broken places to me, I covenant with you to release them into your

873
00:47:52.840 --> 00:47:55.800
care and to respond with forgiveness and repentance.

874
00:47:56.740 --> 00:48:02.360
I set aside this season of my life for a time of healing and wholeness and ask Holy Spirit

875
00:48:02.360 --> 00:48:04.440
to take charge of this process.

876
00:48:05.060 --> 00:48:09.760
I ask that you dwell with me and in me, I need you.

877
00:48:10.080 --> 00:48:11.640
I cannot heal myself.

878
00:48:12.120 --> 00:48:15.980
I want to be free from the past, free to be who I truly am.

879
00:48:16.540 --> 00:48:19.440
Help me to become who you have created me to be.

880
00:48:19.900 --> 00:48:24.960
Show me the lies I've believed about myself, my life, my surroundings, and even the lies

881
00:48:25.040 --> 00:48:26.580
I've believed about you, God.

882
00:48:27.640 --> 00:48:28.820
Teach me the greater truth.

883
00:48:29.320 --> 00:48:30.120
Teach me your ways.

884
00:48:30.860 --> 00:48:33.720
Teach me how to think and how to live abundantly.

885
00:48:34.700 --> 00:48:37.800
Teach me, show me, heal me, grow me.

886
00:48:37.800 --> 00:48:42.740
And Jesus name we all said, amen, amen, amen.

887
00:48:42.740 --> 00:48:46.140
May the Lord give that to you in greater ways in the days to come.

888
00:48:46.360 --> 00:48:47.440
Okay, here's your question again.

889
00:48:47.800 --> 00:48:50.160
Do you struggle with submission and why?

890
00:48:50.280 --> 00:48:51.440
Let me get these breakouts ready.

891
00:48:51.540 --> 00:48:53.340
And that's okay for those of you that can't join.

892
00:48:53.980 --> 00:48:56.380
I will move people around if I need to.

893
00:48:57.260 --> 00:48:58.580
Y'all can hang out in here.

894
00:49:04.720 --> 00:49:05.640
All right, there you go.

895
00:49:05.640 --> 00:49:06.860
That's up on the screen for you.

896
00:49:06.860 --> 00:49:08.540
I'm giving you all seven minutes, okay?

897
00:49:08.540 --> 00:49:24.000
Again, try to click those as quick as you can.

898
00:49:38.800 --> 00:49:39.840
Everyone's situated.

899
00:49:40.100 --> 00:49:40.760
Oh, there we go.

900
00:49:41.900 --> 00:49:41.900


901
00:49:48.200 --> 00:49:48.720
13.

902
00:49:58.480 --> 00:49:59.980
Okay, Father, thank you so much.

903
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.960
much for everything that you're doing. Thank you, God, for the

904
00:50:03.080 --> 00:50:06.260
conversations that are happening right now. And even those that

905
00:50:06.260 --> 00:50:08.940
are here in the main room, those that will be watching the

906
00:50:08.940 --> 00:50:12.260
replay, God, we thank you that you would just reveal areas for

907
00:50:12.260 --> 00:50:14.880
healing and greater measures, God, that you would just give

908
00:50:14.880 --> 00:50:18.980
them the insight that they need. And that you would just bring

909
00:50:18.980 --> 00:50:21.620
things to the surface, Lord, that that which they have not

910
00:50:21.760 --> 00:50:25.400
realized in the past, help them to see what they haven't been

911
00:50:25.400 --> 00:50:28.340
able to see before the areas where they have been stuck or

912
00:50:28.340 --> 00:50:32.500
held back. Thank you for truth and revelation and hope in life.

913
00:50:32.720 --> 00:50:36.200
We thank you, God, for helping them to receive the fullness of

914
00:50:36.200 --> 00:50:39.940
your presence in every area of their lives. Kelsey, are you

915
00:50:39.940 --> 00:50:46.140
just joining us? Or did you get booted out of a room? I see you

916
00:50:46.140 --> 00:50:50.280
in a room some maybe you didn't have anybody join you.

917
00:50:59.320 --> 00:51:02.500
All right, I'm just going to try to put you both of your things

918
00:51:02.500 --> 00:51:06.140
into a different room. And let's see what happens here. All

919
00:51:06.140 --> 00:51:10.100
right. So Father, we just thank you so much that your word says

920
00:51:10.180 --> 00:51:13.700
in Proverbs 1312, unrelenting disappointment leaves you

921
00:51:13.700 --> 00:51:17.580
heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around. So

922
00:51:17.580 --> 00:51:20.800
Lord, I'm asking for sudden good breaks and, and all of these

923
00:51:20.800 --> 00:51:24.760
ladies lives that you would. Yes, Lord, just come and work

924
00:51:24.960 --> 00:51:27.520
supernaturally and all of their Jesus cares boards that you

925
00:51:27.520 --> 00:51:29.780
would help them to hear what your spirit is saying to them,

926
00:51:29.940 --> 00:51:32.720
help them to see all the ways that you're working even right

927
00:51:32.720 --> 00:51:36.580
now in ways that they can't even recognize it. But Lord, help

928
00:51:36.580 --> 00:51:39.960
them to wake up and see those things more and more in the days

929
00:51:39.960 --> 00:51:44.540
to come. Leslie, did you get kicked out of a breakout? You're

930
00:51:44.540 --> 00:51:44.540


931
00:51:45.940 --> 00:51:47.380
My phone went dead.

932
00:51:47.800 --> 00:51:50.800
Oh, that's okay. That's okay. Let me were you in a breakout

933
00:51:50.800 --> 00:51:56.000
room before? Oh, yeah. What room it was? No. Let me see if I can

934
00:51:56.000 --> 00:52:00.940
find somebody that's by themselves. They're not but I

935
00:52:00.940 --> 00:52:05.480
can just put you in a different room. That's fine. All right,

936
00:52:05.480 --> 00:52:09.460
there you go. Thank you. You're welcome. So where we just thank

937
00:52:09.460 --> 00:52:13.460
you, even as I was talking about earlier, for the goodness of God

938
00:52:14.000 --> 00:52:17.000
that we would experience that in the land of the living. We thank

939
00:52:17.000 --> 00:52:20.700
you for vitality and long life, God that even our ladies that

940
00:52:20.700 --> 00:52:23.580
might be a little older in our community, God, I thank you that

941
00:52:23.580 --> 00:52:26.100
you're not finished with them yet, that you have an amazing

942
00:52:26.100 --> 00:52:29.160
story for them that you're writing. And I thank you God for

943
00:52:29.160 --> 00:52:32.660
their spirit make connections that will come in the days after

944
00:52:32.660 --> 00:52:37.060
they're finished with artwork. We thank you Lord for reminding

945
00:52:37.060 --> 00:52:41.840
us today, through James four, seven, so then surrender to God

946
00:52:41.840 --> 00:52:45.140
stand up to the devil and resist him and he will turn and run

947
00:52:45.140 --> 00:52:49.400
away from you. So Lord, I thank you that as we resist the devil

948
00:52:49.400 --> 00:52:53.160
that he has to flee from us. And it reminds me ladies, even of

949
00:52:53.160 --> 00:52:56.540
yesterday, I was teaching in our toddler class for church. And we

950
00:52:56.540 --> 00:53:00.140
were just teaching them the simple principle of stopping and

951
00:53:00.220 --> 00:53:03.540
praying. It was about self control. And it was such a sweet

952
00:53:03.540 --> 00:53:07.800
little lesson. And so I print out these little stop signs. And

953
00:53:07.800 --> 00:53:10.140
that was one of the things that I had cut out for them to like

954
00:53:10.140 --> 00:53:13.000
it's little two year olds to six year olds. So you can't have a

955
00:53:13.000 --> 00:53:15.880
very hard craft. But the reason I'm mentioning this to you all

956
00:53:15.880 --> 00:53:19.360
is because, you know, just teaching them what a stop sign

957
00:53:19.360 --> 00:53:23.000
means. So we played red light, green light, and I taught them I

958
00:53:23.000 --> 00:53:23.000


959
00:53:23.000 --> 00:53:24.780
you a couple of little cards that we're talking about healthy

960
00:53:24.780 --> 00:53:28.240
choices and not healthy choices. And you all sometimes we make it

961
00:53:28.240 --> 00:53:32.220
so hard, but it really is that simple, like really stopping and

962
00:53:32.220 --> 00:53:35.860
praying before we make decisions and partnering with what is the

963
00:53:35.860 --> 00:53:38.760
healthy choice? What's the good choice? What's the not good

964
00:53:38.760 --> 00:53:42.400
choice and that then us choosing the good thing. And so Lord, we

965
00:53:42.400 --> 00:53:49.820
just thank you that you'll give us wisdom, discernment, and the

966
00:53:49.820 --> 00:53:53.140
choices. Jeremiah 17, nine through 10. And the message

967
00:53:53.140 --> 00:53:57.000
version says this, the heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a

968
00:53:57.000 --> 00:54:00.200
puzzle that no one can figure out. But I God search the heart

969
00:54:00.200 --> 00:54:03.720
and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human I get to

970
00:54:03.720 --> 00:54:09.220
the root of things. I treat them as they really are. Not as they

971
00:54:09.280 --> 00:54:13.900
pretend to be. It's not great. God treats us as we really are

972
00:54:13.900 --> 00:54:17.920
in the person that he created in our core. So last week, we talked

973
00:54:17.920 --> 00:54:20.340
about, you know, God help us to see the gold in other people.

974
00:54:20.440 --> 00:54:23.560
Well, God looks at us and he sees, yes, he sees the sin that

975
00:54:23.560 --> 00:54:28.080
we commit, but he sees all the good. And he really treats us in

976
00:54:28.280 --> 00:54:32.520
in those places and ways. And he is calling that forth more and

977
00:54:32.520 --> 00:54:35.760
more and more. And but I also want this scripture to encourage

978
00:54:35.760 --> 00:54:38.200
you when we don't know the answer when we feel like that

979
00:54:38.200 --> 00:54:41.880
puzzle, or we need these dots connected, we can trust that God

980
00:54:41.880 --> 00:54:47.900
is the one that can search everything in us, our, our

981
00:54:47.900 --> 00:54:50.300
and he can bring all those things out of darkness into the

982
00:54:50.300 --> 00:54:53.420
light for revealing for healing. So even if you haven't gotten

983
00:54:53.420 --> 00:54:55.820
that answer yet, ladies on things you've been you've been

984
00:54:55.820 --> 00:54:59.480
seeking him about, just know that that is on its way. And he

985
00:54:59.480 --> 00:54:59.980
has heard

986
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:07.280
you and he is responding to you. Proverbs 4.23 in the Passion Translation says this,

987
00:55:07.620 --> 00:55:13.420
So above all, guard the affections of your heart, for they affect all that you are. Pay

988
00:55:13.420 --> 00:55:18.360
attention to the welfare of your innermost being, for from there flows the wellspring

989
00:55:18.360 --> 00:55:25.360
of life. Yes, Lord, thank you so much for helping us protect our hearts to guard and

990
00:55:25.470 --> 00:55:30.770
keep watch over them. We thank you, God, that you will help us. Yes, Lord, even tonight

991
00:55:30.770 --> 00:55:35.210
that you would send your ministering angels to all of these ladies, that you would just

992
00:55:35.210 --> 00:55:40.510
hover over them even as they're sleeping and minister your healing grace, your healing

993
00:55:40.530 --> 00:55:46.390
oil, that it would flow down from heaven over them, over their minds, their hearts, their

994
00:55:46.390 --> 00:55:49.950
bodies, their spirits and souls. And Lord, even where we felt like we haven't been able

995
00:55:49.950 --> 00:55:54.590
to break free from the past, I thank you that a breaker anointing is coming over our lives

996
00:55:54.590 --> 00:56:01.230
and the spirit of freedom and truth is ringing. And yes, Lord, I hear the ring of liberty

997
00:56:01.230 --> 00:56:05.090
in the spirit. And so I want to encourage you all to partner with that in the days to

998
00:56:05.090 --> 00:56:10.190
come that where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty, there is freedom and there's

999
00:56:10.190 --> 00:56:13.970
freedom for all the captives. And so any part of our lives where we've been captive in the

1000
00:56:13.970 --> 00:56:17.830
past that God, even if it's been a battle, we've just felt like we couldn't, no matter

1001
00:56:17.830 --> 00:56:20.910
what, we could not break free. We could not break free. We could not break free. God is

1002
00:56:20.910 --> 00:56:25.330
saying the time of breakthrough is upon you and you are going to break free like never

1003
00:56:25.430 --> 00:56:29.370
before. And not only that, but you're going to be able to turn around and help other people

1004
00:56:29.490 --> 00:56:34.830
know how to step into freedom. Praise the Lord for that. This, the liberty bell is ringing.

1005
00:56:35.130 --> 00:56:38.350
I love that in the spirit realm. And so I want to encourage you all to partner with

1006
00:56:38.350 --> 00:56:42.150
that as you're coming back. I'm going to say it for the ladies, for those that have been

1007
00:56:42.150 --> 00:56:45.970
here with me for a few minutes, you just heard it bigger. You're going to hear it again while

1008
00:56:45.970 --> 00:56:50.310
you all were in there praying, reading scripture. And one of the things I heard in the spirit

1009
00:56:51.110 --> 00:56:58.050
is this, the liberty bell is ringing. Okay. I want you all to receive that. Sorry. I got

1010
00:56:58.050 --> 00:57:03.930
to mute some people here. The liberty bell is ringing over your life. So if you've had

1011
00:57:03.930 --> 00:57:08.750
an area where you have just felt like you've tried everything you knew to do to break free

1012
00:57:08.750 --> 00:57:14.350
and you haven't been able to break free in the past before that time is over, there's

1013
00:57:14.350 --> 00:57:18.530
this breaker anointing and it's always there. But I just feel, I just felt like in the spirit

1014
00:57:18.530 --> 00:57:22.910
to declare that out over you. And the truth is, you know, the spirit of where the spirit

1015
00:57:22.910 --> 00:57:27.410
of the Lord is, there is freedom, there's liberty for captives. And so we're just, Lord,

1016
00:57:27.510 --> 00:57:32.770
we're partnering tonight with a supernatural move of the spirit tonight, bringing breakthrough

1017
00:57:32.770 --> 00:57:37.790
and freedom in places we have not had it in the past in Jesus name. Love that. God is

1018
00:57:37.790 --> 00:57:41.670
so good. You all, I'm going to give you your activations for this week really quickly.

1019
00:57:41.670 --> 00:57:46.330
And then we'll do our group coaching time where you all can share something that you

1020
00:57:46.330 --> 00:57:51.030
shared in the breakout. If y'all have, I would love for them to be about submission.

1021
00:57:51.090 --> 00:57:55.030
If you have struggles with submission, or even some of you might not have struggles

1022
00:57:55.030 --> 00:57:59.010
with submission and you can encourage your sisters with why that's not a struggle with

1023
00:57:59.010 --> 00:58:04.950
you. So just know you can share along those lines. If there's some other area where you're

1024
00:58:04.950 --> 00:58:09.290
just have a, an area where you're having a hard time getting breakthrough in a heart

1025
00:58:09.290 --> 00:58:13.490
healing area, you know, you can have questions or talk about that and we can work through

1026
00:58:13.490 --> 00:58:18.190
that together. All right. Activation number one, there's two for this week. I want to,

1027
00:58:18.430 --> 00:58:22.470
I call it start with vertical submission. Okay. So even for those of you that are in

1028
00:58:22.470 --> 00:58:27.230
your fifth week or, you know, further or whatever, um, I really want to encourage you to go ahead

1029
00:58:27.230 --> 00:58:33.310
and go do this again, but it's about surrendering to God. That's who we surrender to first and

1030
00:58:33.310 --> 00:58:36.550
foremost, and then we submit to him. So I want to encourage you to get out that permission

1031
00:58:36.550 --> 00:58:41.010
slip, even if you've already filled it out again this week and, and start praying it

1032
00:58:41.090 --> 00:58:46.070
daily over yourself out loud, hang it up where you can see it to remind yourself to

1033
00:58:46.070 --> 00:58:52.290
do it and really partner with what it's saying as you are surrendering and submitting to

1034
00:58:52.290 --> 00:58:57.970
his process. And then activation number two is our roots and fruits drawing. I love these.

1035
00:58:58.190 --> 00:59:03.890
These are always so powerful. Um, and so let me, I forgot to flip this forward. Sorry.

1036
00:59:03.890 --> 00:59:06.930
I got to do this real quick. Y'all. Okay. So I'm just going to show these to you as

1037
00:59:07.150 --> 00:59:12.750
quickly as I can. Y'all don't have to be artists. Okay. These can be very simple, but

1038
00:59:12.750 --> 00:59:16.930
I just, I'm going to show you a couple different ones, the roots and fruits. So basically it's

1039
00:59:16.930 --> 00:59:21.930
on the concept and the premise of the roots in our lives lead to the fruit in our lives.

1040
00:59:22.010 --> 00:59:27.670
So if we have unhealthy roots that are tied to lies that we believe it's going to produce

1041
00:59:27.750 --> 00:59:32.150
unhealthy fruit. Um, and there's a whole list of them, of them in the heartwork book. You

1042
00:59:32.150 --> 00:59:36.030
guys can look for that. I talk about that a little bit deeper in additional sessions,

1043
00:59:36.670 --> 00:59:42.250
but you want to just start to pray and identify what are the unhealthy roots in your life tied

1044
00:59:42.250 --> 00:59:47.510
to lies that are producing unhealthy fruit? What are the healthy roots that are producing healthy

1045
00:59:47.510 --> 00:59:52.110
fruit? We want you to look at both. This is just one example. And, and one of the things I want to

1046
00:59:52.110 --> 00:59:57.130
show you here is she really focused on, let me make this bigger for a second. She really focused

1047
00:59:57.510 --> 00:59:59.970
on the lies that were connected. So fear of lies.

1048
01:00:01.160 --> 01:00:06.540
Rejection. Lies that she heard were, you are inconvenient. Hide

1049
01:00:06.540 --> 01:00:09.700
out behind the scenes, you're leftover, you're extra, the most

1050
01:00:09.700 --> 01:00:13.120
you'll ever be is extended family. So she did a lot of

1051
01:00:13.120 --> 01:00:18.280
avoidance behavior. Shy. Do you all know that you are shy is a

1052
01:00:18.280 --> 01:00:22.160
lie? It is. It comes from fragmentation and brokenness.

1053
01:00:22.180 --> 01:00:27.420
That's what causes people to go into hiding and shyness. Another

1054
01:00:27.420 --> 01:00:31.360
lie too weird, quirky to be accepted. Low maintenance. Okay,

1055
01:00:31.360 --> 01:00:35.300
she had to be low maintenance. That was just one fear of

1056
01:00:35.300 --> 01:00:39.240
rejection route that tied to all of those lies she believes. Okay,

1057
01:00:39.240 --> 01:00:42.900
I'm going to keep going for time's sake. So this one, this

1058
01:00:42.900 --> 01:00:45.940
was a teacher. So that's why it's a little more like the

1059
01:00:45.940 --> 01:00:48.000
board and all the things you don't have to do all this, but I

1060
01:00:48.000 --> 01:00:51.140
just love to show this. She had kind of three main categories

1061
01:00:51.140 --> 01:00:54.360
that she focused on childhood perfectionism, childhood

1062
01:00:54.360 --> 01:00:57.620
abandonment and childhood reject rejection. And then that

1063
01:00:57.680 --> 01:01:01.780
led into adult of the same things, but she wrote the lies

1064
01:01:01.780 --> 01:01:04.800
and things that were connected to that for her. Her core

1065
01:01:04.800 --> 01:01:09.080
belief was I am not worthy. So then at the fruit, she's

1066
01:01:09.080 --> 01:01:11.920
starting to believe I am worthy. And so she wrote that really

1067
01:01:11.940 --> 01:01:15.100
big. She wrote, I will find my husband, you know, so you guys

1068
01:01:15.100 --> 01:01:17.620
can kind of see it there. Again, you don't have to do it like

1069
01:01:17.620 --> 01:01:21.000
that at all. But I'm just giving you examples. This one is simple

1070
01:01:21.000 --> 01:01:24.720
and beautiful. Great. If you want to do it like this, this is

1071
01:01:24.720 --> 01:01:29.140
awesome. So at the bottom are her her roots leading up to the

1072
01:01:29.140 --> 01:01:31.720
fruits. The ones that have leaves and a little bit of color

1073
01:01:31.720 --> 01:01:35.120
on them are the healthy ones. You guys can see that there. So

1074
01:01:35.120 --> 01:01:39.400
fear of man led to confusion, stuck, crippled living in a

1075
01:01:39.400 --> 01:01:42.000
smaller world. So I think she was talking about like mindsets

1076
01:01:42.000 --> 01:01:46.200
and things like that. unhealthy efficiency, what the fruit that

1077
01:01:46.200 --> 01:01:49.120
was showing up in her life always distracted, struggled

1078
01:01:49.120 --> 01:01:51.840
with a lot of distraction. So again, just giving you guys

1079
01:01:52.280 --> 01:01:55.020
examples. Here's one that was created on a computer totally

1080
01:01:55.300 --> 01:01:58.480
fine. However, you all want to do this. I always say this, the

1081
01:01:58.480 --> 01:02:01.780
key is getting it done. The key is getting it out on the paper,

1082
01:02:02.480 --> 01:02:05.080
processing it with the Lord. I'm never going to be like, you

1083
01:02:05.080 --> 01:02:08.560
didn't do this, right? I'm never going to say that to you. Okay,

1084
01:02:08.560 --> 01:02:11.460
this is your process. Just let it be whatever it is. Here's

1085
01:02:11.460 --> 01:02:15.400
another one on a computer. The the roots inherited behavioral

1086
01:02:15.500 --> 01:02:18.920
patterns feeling invisible, unheard in her childhood and

1087
01:02:18.920 --> 01:02:22.100
self deception leads up to the fruits complaining and

1088
01:02:22.100 --> 01:02:24.340
comparing resentment and bitterness, hopelessness,

1089
01:02:24.480 --> 01:02:28.240
despair, low self esteem, y'all can see the positive ones on the

1090
01:02:28.240 --> 01:02:31.220
other side and notice she has some green on that side. So

1091
01:02:31.220 --> 01:02:34.860
that's showing life and good things there. This last one,

1092
01:02:34.920 --> 01:02:37.340
this lady was an artist. So don't get intimidated. I just

1093
01:02:37.340 --> 01:02:39.720
want to show it to you because I love the depiction of what she

1094
01:02:39.720 --> 01:02:43.140
did here. The unhealthy roots and fruit are in the kind of the

1095
01:02:43.140 --> 01:02:47.640
black and gray kind of dark the brown. The healthy roots and

1096
01:02:47.640 --> 01:02:50.380
fruit are the ones that look orange and gold. And then she

1097
01:02:50.380 --> 01:02:53.080
brought the Holy Spirit into it here. And I just love that

1098
01:02:53.080 --> 01:02:56.100
concept. And so just wanted to show that to you all. The Holy

1099
01:02:56.100 --> 01:02:58.760
Spirit is the one that can transform us in any of these

1100
01:02:58.780 --> 01:03:02.680
processes. If you have more questions, you can post those in

1101
01:03:02.840 --> 01:03:06.200
the comments when I put the activation up. But I'll explain

1102
01:03:06.400 --> 01:03:11.200
it in a little more detail when I post the activation in the

1103
01:03:11.740 --> 01:03:14.640
the announcements tab for you. Okay. Alright, so let's go ahead

1104
01:03:14.640 --> 01:03:17.460
and start with Karen. I saw your hand went up first would love to

1105
01:03:17.460 --> 01:03:20.120
hear what you have to say.

1106
01:03:20.260 --> 01:03:22.120
Hey, thanks for calling me out tonight.

1107
01:03:23.060 --> 01:03:25.840
Hi. I love the glasses to looks cool.

1108
01:03:26.300 --> 01:03:30.400
Oh, yeah, blue light blocking. Um, I'm actually graduating to

1109
01:03:30.400 --> 01:03:34.580
phase two. Way to go. After a year y'all I know some of you

1110
01:03:34.580 --> 01:03:36.620
have been putting the comments like I've been here for nine

1111
01:03:37.160 --> 01:03:42.780
months. No, don't feel bad. God has his timing. He does. So

1112
01:03:42.780 --> 01:03:46.320
thank you for all your coaching. It's been amazing. And this is

1113
01:03:46.320 --> 01:03:49.180
so interesting. This is the first time that the authority

1114
01:03:49.180 --> 01:03:52.080
submission question has actually brought something to my mind.

1115
01:03:52.140 --> 01:03:56.160
Okay, because it's always been like, I had a great dad. I've

1116
01:03:56.160 --> 01:03:59.300
always been fine with submission or authority or submission

1117
01:03:59.300 --> 01:04:02.320
because I've never been rebellious. But I'm in a job

1118
01:04:02.320 --> 01:04:07.080
now that is poking at some like, deep stuff.

1119
01:04:07.660 --> 01:04:09.100
Okay, tell me about that.

1120
01:04:11.320 --> 01:04:14.620
Um, well, I posted out the voice. And it's interesting. I

1121
01:04:14.620 --> 01:04:18.520
think that ties in with what came to my mind, we were

1122
01:04:18.520 --> 01:04:23.680
talking tonight about submission is going to a very legalistic

1123
01:04:23.680 --> 01:04:28.240
high school. And the mindset there was very much like

1124
01:04:28.240 --> 01:04:34.540
respect men, women are to submit. And pretty much women's

1125
01:04:34.540 --> 01:04:39.360
role is to be a wife and mom and nothing else. So when my life

1126
01:04:39.360 --> 01:04:42.460
doesn't turn out that way, there's a lot of layers for

1127
01:04:42.460 --> 01:04:46.320
But it's interesting that that came up, because I'm now

1128
01:04:46.320 --> 01:04:51.580
working in an environment of like 100 employees, 90 of them

1129
01:04:51.580 --> 01:04:55.920
are, well, eight women and 92 men, and I'm the only woman in

1130
01:04:55.920 --> 01:04:59.420
my building. And they're all great people.

1131
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.520
but I am finding myself being a little bit like the male-female dynamic coming into my head a lot of

1132
01:05:07.220 --> 01:05:09.400
Do they even hear me? Do they even see me?

1133
01:05:11.040 --> 01:05:12.040
and when

1134
01:05:12.720 --> 01:05:16.180
Managers to managers particular keeps putting on like

1135
01:05:19.220 --> 01:05:24.940
Quotas or goals that weren't part of my interview. I feel it's like that's not what I signed up for

1136
01:05:24.940 --> 01:05:28.820
That's not what I'm supposed to be doing. That's not who God made me. I don't want to

1137
01:05:29.760 --> 01:05:34.020
Like I get a little burn my saddle of I don't want to do that. That's not

1138
01:05:35.020 --> 01:05:39.520
That's and then I it's been an interesting experience. Are you trying to stretch me God?

1139
01:05:39.520 --> 01:05:45.540
I just need to be willing to be stretched or is this truly like a square peg in a round hole and

1140
01:05:46.460 --> 01:05:48.600
so daily I

1141
01:05:48.720 --> 01:05:49.600
just am

1142
01:05:50.120 --> 01:05:52.480
Asking the Lord to help me

1143
01:05:52.480 --> 01:05:59.040
Be who I am within the constraints of the job because I think it is good to grow and stretch

1144
01:05:59.280 --> 01:06:06.440
But it is really poking at like even a week ago. I said to my parents. I'm beginning to hate men and that's not healthy

1145
01:06:07.080 --> 01:06:10.180
Mm-hmm, and I had that come up before

1146
01:06:10.540 --> 01:06:16.460
Yes, so tell me when when something has happened. What is the lie that you're hearing?

1147
01:06:17.560 --> 01:06:21.160
I mentioned about your boys. They don't see me. Yeah

1148
01:06:21.600 --> 01:06:23.620
My voice doesn't matter. They don't see me

1149
01:06:24.720 --> 01:06:29.700
and it's all the same feelings that I can now recognize that I had in high school with I

1150
01:06:30.820 --> 01:06:36.700
Had majority male teachers. Yeah, and again nice men, but it's just in this construct this overly religious

1151
01:06:37.700 --> 01:06:38.820
legalistic construct

1152
01:06:39.300 --> 01:06:41.600
Have you forgiven any?

1153
01:06:41.600 --> 01:06:48.500
Situations from high school that have come up where the men in authority you felt like kind of under their thumb or not

1154
01:06:48.720 --> 01:06:53.680
Have you already done that part? I did a sheet. Yeah for the teachers male teachers

1155
01:06:54.120 --> 01:06:59.280
Okay, so if any additional stuff comes up as this is getting poked at in your job

1156
01:06:59.360 --> 01:07:02.980
I want to encourage you just to go back and revisit that and just ask the Lord

1157
01:07:02.980 --> 01:07:08.260
Is there anything else because it's coming up again tonight that it feels like it's linking there

1158
01:07:08.980 --> 01:07:11.020
You know, it might even be

1159
01:07:12.140 --> 01:07:19.140
You know, I talked about the spirit of shame. Yeah, I'm just wondering if you kind of said something that was really key

1160
01:07:20.380 --> 01:07:26.200
When you're told that a woman's role is to be a wife and a mom and nothing else and then that doesn't happen

1161
01:07:27.060 --> 01:07:33.580
There's a lot of inferiority complex that comes into play there. Okay, there's a lot of people that walk in shame

1162
01:07:33.880 --> 01:07:35.860
when they can't

1163
01:07:35.860 --> 01:07:41.360
Fulfill that that one role they're supposed to have right and so

1164
01:07:42.800 --> 01:07:44.900
You know, I was talking earlier about

1165
01:07:46.440 --> 01:07:48.540
People conveying messages

1166
01:07:49.980 --> 01:07:51.260
like as

1167
01:07:51.260 --> 01:07:58.380
If it's from the Lord, that's actually a misconception and they may or may not have been, you know Christian

1168
01:07:58.380 --> 01:08:01.300
I'm not sure if it was a Christian school or not. Yeah

1169
01:08:01.860 --> 01:08:09.220
You know, even the fact that that is what was conveyed that isn't God's only role for women and never was in the Bible

1170
01:08:09.280 --> 01:08:13.520
I mean there were women preachers in the Bible and evangelist and right, you know

1171
01:08:13.520 --> 01:08:16.880
So but a lot of people don't see that and don't look at that

1172
01:08:18.040 --> 01:08:23.140
Um, and there's a lot of emphasis and not that it's bad if someone wants to be just a wife and a mom

1173
01:08:23.140 --> 01:08:24.279
That's amazing, right?

1174
01:08:24.640 --> 01:08:30.920
But it's okay for us to understand that we have giftings and abilities that God wants to use in us as well

1175
01:08:30.920 --> 01:08:33.760
We're more than a wife and a mom we should you know

1176
01:08:33.760 --> 01:08:39.819
like really looking at where do we get our identity from you know is coming to mind as well Karen and just

1177
01:08:40.000 --> 01:08:45.160
Like making sure that those labels that were given during that time

1178
01:08:45.819 --> 01:08:47.580
Aren't still driving

1179
01:08:49.020 --> 01:08:52.080
Low self-worth on some level

1180
01:08:52.600 --> 01:08:56.939
So that makes no I'm just saying that popped in my head when you just said that I had a teacher that would call me

1181
01:08:56.939 --> 01:08:57.720
the quiet student

1182
01:08:58.520 --> 01:08:59.819
okay, so

1183
01:09:00.800 --> 01:09:03.120
Why did they call he was my favorite teacher

1184
01:09:03.840 --> 01:09:05.620
He was my favorite all of them

1185
01:09:06.640 --> 01:09:11.800
Because I would sit in the back of the class and do my homework and not ask questions and just be quiet

1186
01:09:13.100 --> 01:09:15.040
So why would you sit in the back of the class?

1187
01:09:16.340 --> 01:09:18.700
He did his seating chart according to grades

1188
01:09:18.840 --> 01:09:22.960
The top grades got in the back of the class and the lower grades got in the front. Okay?

1189
01:09:23.279 --> 01:09:25.140
Okay, so it wasn't a negative thing

1190
01:09:25.140 --> 01:09:31.220
Like choosing to sit there because you didn't feel like you fit in or anything like that. He assigned him. Okay

1191
01:09:32.100 --> 01:09:32.660
and

1192
01:09:33.500 --> 01:09:35.460
Were other students quiet, too

1193
01:09:38.160 --> 01:09:43.740
I mean if you talked you get in trouble so but as far as like a hiding quiet

1194
01:09:44.140 --> 01:09:47.120
I don't know. Maybe I mean, I just think it's interesting

1195
01:09:47.120 --> 01:09:51.520
Did he call other students the quiet student or just you know, just me. Yeah

1196
01:09:51.520 --> 01:09:58.260
So let's let's pray into that a little bit because I actually don't think that is your identity at all Karen

1197
01:09:58.260 --> 01:09:59.980
I think that even you're seeing

1198
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.520
more and more like you're pretty vocal this week. Yes, you're vocal, you're coming alive, you're,

1199
01:10:06.940 --> 01:10:11.700
you know, going dancing, you're doing, you know, and not that people that are quiet can't go do

1200
01:10:11.700 --> 01:10:16.600
those things, but I just don't think that's your identity. And so the fact that that came up

1201
01:10:16.600 --> 01:10:21.640
tonight, and even if he was a great teacher, I think really coming out of alignment and saying,

1202
01:10:21.940 --> 01:10:27.040
Hey, no, I'm not the quiet student. I'm actually, you know, I have things to say that matter,

1203
01:10:27.680 --> 01:10:34.340
even if I'm not speaking them out all the time. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Because that

1204
01:10:34.340 --> 01:10:38.920
that seems like it's partnering with some of the things that you're encountering at work, too.

1205
01:10:39.360 --> 01:10:44.260
Very much so. Yeah. And so let's, let's be praying into that really ask the Lord,

1206
01:10:44.440 --> 01:10:48.540
if there's anybody left to forgive from the school, and then coming out of alignment with

1207
01:10:48.540 --> 01:10:54.040
the quiet student declaration over you. And just ask the Lord, is there anything else that he's

1208
01:10:54.040 --> 01:10:59.260
to show you regarding your time in school there. And even though the work is kind of the issue

1209
01:10:59.720 --> 01:11:05.020
right now, you know, a lot of times it's these other things that are still underneath the surface,

1210
01:11:05.080 --> 01:11:09.160
you know, kind of brewing under there. We just don't see them. And not that there's not things

1211
01:11:09.160 --> 01:11:14.900
at work. There are, it sounds like, but I feel like the, the more freedom that you get regarding

1212
01:11:14.900 --> 01:11:20.700
that other dynamic, the more you're going to be able to stand in your confidence here. And,

1213
01:11:20.700 --> 01:11:25.460
it is okay for you to be praying like, God, is this where you have me long-term?

1214
01:11:27.140 --> 01:11:32.860
Right. What's interesting is I just changed jobs in July. Okay. And there was a lot of

1215
01:11:33.600 --> 01:11:40.840
answers to prayer in that. Okay. Interesting. But I want to be there. I don't want to be anywhere

1216
01:11:40.880 --> 01:11:48.340
working long-term. That's never a career has never been my desire. Okay. Well, and when I

1217
01:11:48.340 --> 01:11:52.220
mean long-term, I just mean a couple of years or whatever that looks like for you. Everybody's

1218
01:11:52.340 --> 01:11:58.540
different, but okay. So then we need to also consider here, if this was an answer to prayer,

1219
01:11:58.940 --> 01:12:05.220
the enemy is trying to kind of assault you pretty quickly there. Oh yeah. My, my office flooded

1220
01:12:05.220 --> 01:12:12.840
three times in the last week. I was like, well, that's interesting. Very interesting. Okay. That's

1221
01:12:12.840 --> 01:12:18.340
very intriguing to me too, Karen. So, and like multiple managers have quit since I started,

1222
01:12:18.420 --> 01:12:23.420
like, I feel like this company is under attack and the leaders are believers. So I just have

1223
01:12:23.420 --> 01:12:29.300
been praying over them. Okay. So maybe you are bringing the light there and not that they're

1224
01:12:29.300 --> 01:12:33.540
not light too, but maybe God has brought you there for a purpose that you'll, it will continue to be

1225
01:12:33.540 --> 01:12:38.300
unveiled for you in the days ahead. Awesome. All right. Well, keep us posted on that. Even though

1226
01:12:38.300 --> 01:12:42.840
you're going in phase two, I'll, I see things in phase two and the other phases. So definitely

1227
01:12:42.840 --> 01:12:49.240
keep us updated on how that's going. Okay. And congratulations. It's amazing. Thank you so much.

1228
01:12:49.760 --> 01:12:55.100
You're welcome. Chrissy. I can't remember. I'm going to call you Chrissy D.

1229
01:12:57.740 --> 01:13:07.240
So most, most people do. So when you started off this evening and started talking about submission,

1230
01:13:07.240 --> 01:13:11.160
I was like, great, let's talk about submission. But when you said rebellion towards your mother,

1231
01:13:11.240 --> 01:13:18.340
I was like, oh, there we go. And during the breakout room, I brought that up and I was like,

1232
01:13:19.360 --> 01:13:25.480
yeah, it was like, I think two years ago, I realized that I grew up subconsciously

1233
01:13:26.420 --> 01:13:34.040
and I put my grandmother in my mother role because my father passed away when I was a little girl.

1234
01:13:34.040 --> 01:13:41.080
I was nine. My mother was 30 and left with two children alone. So my grandparents moved in

1235
01:13:43.380 --> 01:13:50.060
and I grew up with my grandmother, basically, and my grandfather and kind of put my mother to the

1236
01:13:50.060 --> 01:13:55.140
side also because, you know, she was going, she was grieving as well. So it was a little weird

1237
01:13:55.140 --> 01:14:06.000
for all of us. But I knew that. And so I was like, OK, well, let's deal with that. Let's forgive

1238
01:14:06.160 --> 01:14:13.620
grandma for that. But then needing to ask for forgiveness for the way I treated my mother

1239
01:14:13.620 --> 01:14:25.120
after that, because finally when she did pass away, I was like 16 ish. And my mother kind of

1240
01:14:25.760 --> 01:14:31.780
and I was like, who are you to speak to me that way? Who are you to tell me not to do something?

1241
01:14:31.900 --> 01:14:43.040
And I was like, no. And so when I was telling her that in the side room, I realized that

1242
01:14:44.520 --> 01:14:49.360
I correct my mother a lot. And it's not kind.

1243
01:14:51.480 --> 01:14:59.000
And I've probably about the past two years realized that I do it in a way where

1244
01:15:00.880 --> 01:15:08.760
I like, I feel big afterwards. That makes sense. And kind of

1245
01:15:09.400 --> 01:15:13.780
like, proud of myself for standing up for myself, but it

1246
01:15:13.780 --> 01:15:20.000
doesn't make me feel good that I just put my mother down. Like,

1247
01:15:20.000 --> 01:15:21.340
you know, does that make sense?

1248
01:15:21.800 --> 01:15:24.280
Yeah, the Holy Spirit is convicting you. That's what's

1249
01:15:24.860 --> 01:15:29.740
happening. You know, you're you're sensing like, um, and I'm

1250
01:15:29.740 --> 01:15:32.540
saying it's always easy, you all but you know, the commandment

1251
01:15:32.540 --> 01:15:36.360
to honor our mother and father and and it will go well with us

1252
01:15:36.360 --> 01:15:41.340
is is really important to one of the things before you even said

1253
01:15:41.640 --> 01:15:46.440
about the feeling bigger than I heard the Lord say to ask you,

1254
01:15:46.600 --> 01:15:52.700
do you think you're better than your mom? Like in your heart,

1255
01:15:52.840 --> 01:15:56.460
you know, when you're in situations like, you know,

1256
01:15:56.460 --> 01:16:00.580
we really need to look at how like, do we think we're better

1257
01:16:00.580 --> 01:16:03.280
than other people? Do we think we're better than our mom? Like

1258
01:16:03.280 --> 01:16:06.240
if we have a bad relationship, and, you know, especially it's

1259
01:16:06.240 --> 01:16:10.360
tough when they, they've not made good choices at some point,

1260
01:16:10.360 --> 01:16:13.800
and that's impacted us and we get disrespect in our heart

1261
01:16:13.800 --> 01:16:16.600
towards them. And, and that comes from bitterness, it comes

1262
01:16:16.600 --> 01:16:21.320
from brokenness, you know. And so we need to go into the little

1263
01:16:21.320 --> 01:16:25.280
girl part of our heart, Chrissy, and and ask the Lord to reveal

1264
01:16:25.280 --> 01:16:29.640
the pain that needs healed there. Because I'm sure that

1265
01:16:29.640 --> 01:16:34.640
was hard for you when you were little, and your mom wasn't

1266
01:16:34.720 --> 01:16:39.740
capable or willing at that time, due to the grief to be your mom,

1267
01:16:40.920 --> 01:16:44.820
you know, where someone else had to step in. And so little

1268
01:16:44.820 --> 01:16:49.960
Chrissy might need some love this week. Okay. And in that

1269
01:16:49.960 --> 01:16:53.800
that you would forgive your mom for abandoning you a little bit.

1270
01:16:54.440 --> 01:16:59.260
You know, I mean, that's, again, even though they they are in a

1271
01:16:59.260 --> 01:17:02.060
place where they may or may not have been able to help it, it

1272
01:17:02.060 --> 01:17:05.240
still doesn't mean we're not going to feel these things and

1273
01:17:05.440 --> 01:17:09.740
experience, you know, the enemy lying to us that they don't care

1274
01:17:09.740 --> 01:17:12.600
about us. And if they did, they would just snap out of it. You

1275
01:17:12.600 --> 01:17:15.720
know, I mean, these are the kind of things that I can remember,

1276
01:17:15.800 --> 01:17:19.720
not that it's the same, but like, man, I wanted my mom to

1277
01:17:19.720 --> 01:17:23.280
get out of bed. I'm like, just get up already. And I can

1278
01:17:23.280 --> 01:17:26.180
remember like, at one point, and when I was younger, it was

1279
01:17:26.180 --> 01:17:29.580
like, Oh, mommy, get up. And I would take her these trays, and

1280
01:17:29.580 --> 01:17:32.100
have little flowers. And I would try to cheer her up. But y'all,

1281
01:17:32.180 --> 01:17:38.620
that got old. You know, like, get out of bed already. And you

1282
01:17:38.620 --> 01:17:42.120
know, I've had to even watch myself, like when other people

1283
01:17:42.120 --> 01:17:45.780
because I'm an early riser, I don't really sleep in a lot. And

1284
01:17:45.780 --> 01:17:50.280
so when other people can sleep in, and they stay in bed, I

1285
01:17:50.280 --> 01:17:53.440
don't like it. I'm not mean, y'all. But just like, I feel

1286
01:17:53.440 --> 01:17:56.080
this, like, sometimes it's not all the time. But sometimes I'm

1287
01:17:55.920 --> 01:18:00.500
like, really, you're still sleeping. Does that make sense?

1288
01:18:01.220 --> 01:18:07.240
But that comes from that stuff with my mom. And so I have to

1289
01:18:07.240 --> 01:18:09.740
check that and make sure that doesn't come out in my heart

1290
01:18:09.740 --> 01:18:13.340
with other people, because they're not her. Just because

1291
01:18:13.340 --> 01:18:16.600
they're sleeping in a little bit. My mom slept in a long

1292
01:18:16.600 --> 01:18:19.180
time, y'all. She didn't someday she didn't get out of her bed

1293
01:18:19.180 --> 01:18:22.400
at all. She'd stay up in her room and never come down. And I

1294
01:18:22.400 --> 01:18:26.600
was little. And so I had to forgive her and really work on

1295
01:18:26.540 --> 01:18:30.640
that. And so I'm so thankful that you shared that, Chrissy,

1296
01:18:30.760 --> 01:18:33.080
because I think there's a lot of people that struggle with this

1297
01:18:33.080 --> 01:18:37.180
kind of stuff, correcting parents. And you know, I'll say

1298
01:18:37.180 --> 01:18:42.080
this too, like my mom, when I was 20, had a brain aneurysm,

1299
01:18:43.000 --> 01:18:47.160
thankfully survived, but it was a very long road after that. And

1300
01:18:47.160 --> 01:18:52.140
she had some brain issues and memory. And there were times

1301
01:18:52.140 --> 01:18:54.820
that even she claimed that she didn't remember things that she

1302
01:18:54.820 --> 01:18:57.920
did. And sometimes y'all I'm like, okay, is this real? Are

1303
01:18:57.920 --> 01:19:01.580
you just saying you didn't remember? I can remember just

1304
01:19:01.580 --> 01:19:06.620
being really like, okay, like, are you just saying that, like,

1305
01:19:06.640 --> 01:19:09.500
because you don't want to own this, you know, those kind of

1306
01:19:09.500 --> 01:19:12.100
thoughts that I had, and I had to really check that in my heart

1307
01:19:12.100 --> 01:19:18.920
to, but I'm saying that to say, there were times that it was

1308
01:19:18.920 --> 01:19:25.840
hard for me, because I felt like she never really owned things.

1309
01:19:27.500 --> 01:19:31.920
Does that make sense? And I don't know if you guys are like

1310
01:19:31.920 --> 01:19:36.020
me, but I want that apology from people when they do something

1311
01:19:36.020 --> 01:19:38.700
that hurts me, I want that apology. And there's nothing

1312
01:19:38.700 --> 01:19:43.280
wrong with that. But sometimes we can lord that over people and

1313
01:19:43.280 --> 01:19:46.560
resent them if they don't, you know, give us that apology or

1314
01:19:46.560 --> 01:19:49.500
whatever it is that we think we need to bring resolve in that.

1315
01:19:49.760 --> 01:19:54.360
And so just releasing your mom in whatever, like whatever way

1316
01:19:54.360 --> 01:19:57.680
that looks like for you in this next week, releasing her fully

1317
01:19:57.680 --> 01:19:59.980
to the Lord. And knowing that

1318
01:20:00.640 --> 01:20:08.460
You're imperfect. And so is she. Right. And sometimes when we inflate ourself and we feel

1319
01:20:08.460 --> 01:20:13.960
bigger than someone else, it's because we actually feel like we are, we are better than

1320
01:20:13.960 --> 01:20:19.220
them and that we don't make mistakes like they do, which isn't maybe we don't make the

1321
01:20:19.220 --> 01:20:25.800
same mistakes, but we do make mistakes. Don't we? Right. Yeah. And so I'll be praying for

1322
01:20:25.800 --> 01:20:30.540
you about that. Cause I know that can be tricky, but I'm so glad that you are seeing this

1323
01:20:30.540 --> 01:20:34.960
and recognize it, recognizing it tonight. And I think that's an amazing start, Chrissy.

1324
01:20:35.660 --> 01:20:43.360
Thank you. I will need that prayer because I moved in with them and the Lord was meeting

1325
01:20:43.660 --> 01:20:50.720
leading that. So I, I know that there's, this is the first time I live under one roof with

1326
01:20:50.720 --> 01:20:57.120
two parents since I was seven by myself, there's no other siblings, there's no grandchildren,

1327
01:20:57.580 --> 01:21:04.040
there's no pets, there's no distractions. It's just me and a mom and a dad. And wow.

1328
01:21:04.380 --> 01:21:09.060
So maybe in the middle of all that, maybe God is doing some redemption here to Chrissy

1329
01:21:09.820 --> 01:21:15.620
and it might not look exactly how you think, and that's okay, but just trust the Lord.

1330
01:21:15.620 --> 01:21:19.800
I definitely would put this up on your Jesus cares board if you haven't already. Okay.

1331
01:21:19.800 --> 01:21:25.780
And be specific. And if you need to fold them up and put them inside of a box, so your parents

1332
01:21:25.780 --> 01:21:29.560
can't see it, cause they're adults, if they come in your room, you know, just do whatever

1333
01:21:29.560 --> 01:21:35.480
or put tuck it in a thing, but you know, where you see that often and that you're just, you

1334
01:21:35.480 --> 01:21:38.980
know, knowing that even though you're putting it in a, in the book, you are putting that

1335
01:21:38.980 --> 01:21:44.480
on the board in your spirit. Does that make sense? Yeah. Awesome. Well, keep us posted

1336
01:21:44.480 --> 01:21:50.200
on how that goes. And just even this week, as you forgive her and really partner with

1337
01:21:50.400 --> 01:21:55.220
like, Lord, help me to see myself through your eyes and help me to see her through your

1338
01:21:56.320 --> 01:22:02.200
eyes. Yeah. So good. You're welcome. Thank you. Nari, go ahead.

1339
01:22:03.520 --> 01:22:14.920
Hi. Hi. Um, I was like fighting the urge to lower my hand and not speak. I'm lately been

1340
01:22:14.920 --> 01:22:21.760
having this urge to just withdraw completely. So I just wanted to say that upfront and it's

1341
01:22:21.760 --> 01:22:27.300
been hard, but I'm fighting through it. And I'm like, no, I'm just going to speak up because

1342
01:22:27.300 --> 01:22:37.480
I already made the decision. So I wanted to say that I, I do still like, this was a

1343
01:22:37.480 --> 01:22:43.440
question that I heard in a previous heart work live session that we had. And this time

1344
01:22:43.440 --> 01:22:48.740
it brought up something different for me. So I, my answer then, this is what I said

1345
01:22:48.740 --> 01:22:53.660
to the ladies in the room. My answer then is the same. Now I still very much struggle

1346
01:22:53.660 --> 01:23:03.240
with submission and more specifically, initially it was around, and it still is to some degree

1347
01:23:03.240 --> 01:23:11.460
is that I have this difficulty seeing, um, God other than the ways that you said, God

1348
01:23:11.460 --> 01:23:17.340
is not, which is like condemnation, shame and guilt, which are things that I feel a

1349
01:23:17.580 --> 01:23:26.000
lot. So I struggle with that because growing up in church, that's kind of what I internalized

1350
01:23:26.000 --> 01:23:34.500
in the church through my experiences and also not having healthy male figures in my life.

1351
01:23:35.140 --> 01:23:42.380
So that plays a lot into that. So I really have a hard time trusting God and I find I

1352
01:23:42.380 --> 01:23:48.700
can inch myself towards trusting him a little bit. And then I feel like my type A personality

1353
01:23:48.700 --> 01:23:54.460
kicks in and then I have to feel like I'm doing everything to try to control the outcome

1354
01:23:54.460 --> 01:24:01.400
of my life. And that's just through hyper functioning, high productivity, all of those

1355
01:24:01.400 --> 01:24:10.340
things. And also when you talked about, um, rebellious spirit, I honestly realize now

1356
01:24:10.340 --> 01:24:18.860
that I think I do have a little bit of that in me because when I was 14, there was conflict

1357
01:24:18.860 --> 01:24:24.360
in the home. My parents were potentially going to be separating. And during that time is

1358
01:24:24.360 --> 01:24:30.020
when I noticed I started doing things I never used to do. So I started going out, I drank

1359
01:24:30.020 --> 01:24:40.320
for the first time. Like I just did things that I never did before. And even though I

1360
01:24:40.320 --> 01:24:46.600
my mom, like I didn't feel love and I didn't feel like the warmth or the tenderness, tenderness,

1361
01:24:46.760 --> 01:24:52.080
like all the things that you want to feel in a family, I'd never felt that. So whenever

1362
01:24:52.080 --> 01:24:58.240
faith was talked about in my home, I felt really angry towards it. And I just was like,

1363
01:24:58.860 --> 01:24:59.980
really resentful.

1364
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.160
disting it. So I get into arguments with my mom about it,

1365
01:25:03.160 --> 01:25:06.280
because she would say things around, like, you need to have

1366
01:25:06.280 --> 01:25:09.360
faith, or, you know, just these conversations that made me feel,

1367
01:25:10.220 --> 01:25:13.040
again, really angry, shameful, and guilt. And it was very much

1368
01:25:13.040 --> 01:25:18.160
around, like, what would happen if you didn't follow faith. And

1369
01:25:19.840 --> 01:25:26.780
so, um, I, I don't know, that's just where I'm at right now. I

1370
01:25:26.780 --> 01:25:27.940
guess I'll just stop there.

1371
01:25:28.720 --> 01:25:32.680
Well, first, I just want to say thank you for staying with your

1372
01:25:32.680 --> 01:25:35.420
hand up and speaking, because I think that's really awesome. And

1373
01:25:35.420 --> 01:25:39.340
I love that you're leaning towards community instead of

1374
01:25:39.340 --> 01:25:41.720
leaning towards the withdrawal, even though you're feeling that

1375
01:25:41.900 --> 01:25:49.480
that need to do it. I do think it's really important that as

1376
01:25:49.480 --> 01:25:52.920
you move forward, and there's there's no perfection of this,

1377
01:25:52.980 --> 01:25:55.700
okay, so I want you to hear that it's really, really important,

1378
01:25:55.700 --> 01:25:59.440
you don't have to be perfect in walking this out. But where

1379
01:25:59.440 --> 01:26:04.220
you're praying and asking the Lord to show you warmth and

1380
01:26:04.920 --> 01:26:09.760
tenderness. And, you know, the lies that you're believing that

1381
01:26:09.760 --> 01:26:13.780
leads you to think that he is a God that's guilting you,

1382
01:26:14.240 --> 01:26:18.180
condemning you, shaming you. And, you know, those religious

1383
01:26:18.180 --> 01:26:25.680
mindsets that really sound like they took root pretty deep, you

1384
01:26:25.680 --> 01:26:26.860
know, and are really, really, really, really, really, really

1385
01:26:26.860 --> 01:26:26.920
deep into their own lives. And so I just want to encourage you

1386
01:26:26.920 --> 01:26:30.480
to do that. Because God is a warm and tender and loving God.

1387
01:26:30.860 --> 01:26:33.740
But it can be tough to understand that and relate to

1388
01:26:33.740 --> 01:26:37.420
that when we haven't experienced that with our parents. But I

1389
01:26:37.560 --> 01:26:41.620
absolutely believe that God can bring supernatural spiritual

1390
01:26:41.620 --> 01:26:53.480
parents into your life, so to speak, not that there'll be

1391
01:26:53.480 --> 01:26:57.220
supernatural parents. And that can start to bring some healing

1392
01:26:57.220 --> 01:27:00.440
to that area. And it can happen even without them. But I do

1393
01:27:00.440 --> 01:27:04.200
believe God wants to show that to you in this next season. And

1394
01:27:04.200 --> 01:27:08.320
I just want to encourage you to be praying into that. That what

1395
01:27:08.320 --> 01:27:13.100
you have known in the past is God like wants to heal those the

1396
01:27:13.100 --> 01:27:15.720
wounds that lead to those mindsets. Does that make sense?

1397
01:27:16.520 --> 01:27:20.800
Yeah. And then, um, you know, make sure that you're doing

1398
01:27:20.800 --> 01:27:23.740
forgiveness prayer sheets towards yourself for anything

1399
01:27:23.740 --> 01:27:27.660
like even when you rebelled and drank. If you've never forgiven

1400
01:27:27.660 --> 01:27:30.320
yourself for that through one of our forgiveness prayer sheets,

1401
01:27:30.460 --> 01:27:32.680
even if you did forgive yourself in the past, I would encourage

1402
01:27:32.680 --> 01:27:35.680
you to because that came up tonight, go ahead and do a

1403
01:27:35.680 --> 01:27:38.460
forgiveness prayer sheet. And forgive yourself for that.

1404
01:27:39.060 --> 01:27:43.640
Forgive yourself for, you know, anything else regarding rebelling

1405
01:27:43.640 --> 01:27:51.460
against mom or dad. But also that I'm just hearing the Lord

1406
01:27:51.460 --> 01:27:55.480
say forgiving your parents for not not being able to show you

1407
01:27:55.480 --> 01:28:02.080
the affection that you needed. Yeah. And let's just start there

1408
01:28:02.080 --> 01:28:05.440
for this week. Okay. I know that's several things, but I

1409
01:28:05.440 --> 01:28:09.560
really feel like in the next few weeks, God wants to show you a

1410
01:28:09.560 --> 01:28:13.460
different version of himself through that tenderness and care

1411
01:28:13.460 --> 01:28:16.420
and it'll go beyond the next couple weeks. But I think that

1412
01:28:16.420 --> 01:28:18.300
that shift is coming for you.

1413
01:28:19.380 --> 01:28:23.860
And I thought I had forgiven them. And I do feel that I have

1414
01:28:23.860 --> 01:28:28.860
to some degree. Yeah. But even when you said that it made me a

1415
01:28:28.860 --> 01:28:30.580
bit emotional. So

1416
01:28:30.580 --> 01:28:34.180
yeah, and it's normal. Like, remember that forgiveness

1417
01:28:34.180 --> 01:28:40.740
happens in layers, ladies, and so does healing. And you got a

1418
01:28:41.020 --> 01:28:43.560
little more vulnerable tonight, then. I mean, you've been

1419
01:28:43.560 --> 01:28:46.540
vulnerable in the group before, but even in your post, you know,

1420
01:28:46.900 --> 01:28:50.860
but talking about it out loud, like shifts it up a little bit,

1421
01:28:50.880 --> 01:28:55.360
kind of brings it up another level, if you will. And so, you

1422
01:28:55.360 --> 01:28:58.600
know, God sees you. And, you know, even when I was saying

1423
01:28:58.600 --> 01:29:02.140
earlier, the things that broke us and break our hearts, it

1424
01:29:02.140 --> 01:29:06.040
breaks his heart. You know, he wants you to feel his warmth and

1425
01:29:06.040 --> 01:29:12.360
his tenderness and his love, that, you know, you know, Jesus

1426
01:29:12.360 --> 01:29:16.220
went into the depths, he would go into the depths with us to be

1427
01:29:16.220 --> 01:29:21.680
with us to, you know, help us to experience him. And so that's

1428
01:29:21.680 --> 01:29:26.260
that is the God that we serve that like pursues us with loving

1429
01:29:26.260 --> 01:29:31.740
kindness, not with the battering ram, not to beat us up, you

1430
01:29:31.740 --> 01:29:35.160
know, and shame and guilt and condemnation is from the enemy.

1431
01:29:35.160 --> 01:29:38.180
So just continuing to remind yourself, okay, if I'm feeling

1432
01:29:38.500 --> 01:29:41.520
shame, or guilt or condemnation, that is from the enemy.

1433
01:29:42.880 --> 01:29:45.260
Conviction is from the Lord, there's a difference.

1434
01:29:46.960 --> 01:29:49.660
I never thought about it that way. Yeah.

1435
01:29:50.100 --> 01:29:53.560
And so if we feel convicted for sin, or even like how Chrissy

1436
01:29:53.560 --> 01:29:57.220
was sharing, like she was saying, I feel like, Oh, God

1437
01:29:57.220 --> 01:29:59.980
showing me like I, how does she say that I realize I've been

1438
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:02.780
correcting my mom a lot. Well, that's conviction happening

1439
01:30:02.640 --> 01:30:07.160
there. Right. And so as soon as we can start to discern the

1440
01:30:07.160 --> 01:30:10.040
difference between conviction and the condemnation and guilt

1441
01:30:10.040 --> 01:30:13.660
and shame, then we start to Oh, wait a minute, this is the enemy

1442
01:30:13.660 --> 01:30:19.220
talking to me right now, versus God. So just even starting to

1443
01:30:19.220 --> 01:30:21.460
discern that for yourself is going to be a game changer.

1444
01:30:22.320 --> 01:30:25.400
Yeah, I think I take a little while and that's okay. Just so

1445
01:30:25.400 --> 01:30:25.620
you know,

1446
01:30:26.120 --> 01:30:28.780
yeah. Okay, that's helpful. Thank you.

1447
01:30:28.780 --> 01:30:31.840
You're welcome. It took me a while to come out of religious

1448
01:30:31.880 --> 01:30:35.060
mindsets that I had been under. And I wasn't even raised in a

1449
01:30:35.060 --> 01:30:39.240
like, my mom, you know, took me to church some, my grandparents

1450
01:30:39.240 --> 01:30:42.120
took me to church some, but it was not all the time. I picked

1451
01:30:42.120 --> 01:30:45.260
that up more after I gave my life to Christ, because I was so

1452
01:30:45.220 --> 01:30:49.700
broken. I like wanted to be perfect. And, and I just like

1453
01:30:49.700 --> 01:30:52.220
tried to do everything that they said. And I thought everything

1454
01:30:52.220 --> 01:30:56.300
they said was gospel truth, like, and I think that to some

1455
01:30:56.360 --> 01:30:59.200
degree, there was a lot of good, but there was a lot of

1456
01:30:59.780 --> 01:31:04.440
religious things that I picked up there, too. And yeah, so then

1457
01:31:04.440 --> 01:31:08.260
God sent me to this revival in Toronto. And there was the

1458
01:31:08.260 --> 01:31:10.760
conference called the party is here. And it was a Holy Spirit

1459
01:31:10.700 --> 01:31:13.880
party. And that's how God started getting me out of that

1460
01:31:13.840 --> 01:31:17.880
religion. He sent me to and when I say he sent me like, I felt

1461
01:31:17.880 --> 01:31:20.500
led a friend invited me and it was the best thing I ever did.

1462
01:31:20.540 --> 01:31:23.700
But when I came back to my church, and I was full of all

1463
01:31:23.700 --> 01:31:29.280
this fun, y'all. There are people that were like, tame it

1464
01:31:29.280 --> 01:31:33.100
down, tame it down. You're too, this is too fun. Like literally,

1465
01:31:33.220 --> 01:31:36.620
like they were just didn't know how to handle the funness side

1466
01:31:36.620 --> 01:31:41.420
of of who God is. And so, you know, I laugh at it now, but it

1467
01:31:41.420 --> 01:31:46.060
was hard. It was hard back then. But little by little, he kept

1468
01:31:46.060 --> 01:31:49.100
giving me these, you know, books that he would lead me to or

1469
01:31:49.100 --> 01:31:52.640
conferences that dealt more with the freedom and the joy and who

1470
01:31:52.640 --> 01:31:57.720
he is. And, you know, yeah, of course, he's my daddy convicts

1471
01:31:57.720 --> 01:32:00.400
me when I do something because he loves me. He doesn't want me

1472
01:32:00.400 --> 01:32:03.540
to make bad choices, and things that do things that will hurt

1473
01:32:03.400 --> 01:32:09.140
me. But he's super fun. And, you know, he talks to me in fun

1474
01:32:09.140 --> 01:32:12.620
ways. And it's an adventure. And so I hope that that is what you

1475
01:32:12.660 --> 01:32:15.980
experience more in the days ahead to Yeah, in any of you,

1476
01:32:16.040 --> 01:32:19.200
any of y'all. Yeah, thank you so much for sharing, Nari.

1477
01:32:19.840 --> 01:32:25.380
Thank you. You're welcome. Ruth, go ahead.

1478
01:32:26.140 --> 01:32:26.380
Hi.

1479
01:32:28.500 --> 01:32:29.540
Hi, I was just

1480
01:32:38.780 --> 01:32:42.840
a combination of what Chrissy Chrissy was talking about that I

1481
01:32:42.840 --> 01:32:46.420
realized I there when I start this out with the question, I

1482
01:32:46.940 --> 01:32:49.940
the question was meant more for God, like, as far as having

1483
01:32:49.940 --> 01:32:53.260
trouble submitting to God, like saying I do, but then when it's

1484
01:32:53.480 --> 01:32:58.080
time to back it up, so to speak, or follow up an instruction, and

1485
01:32:58.080 --> 01:33:02.860
then I chicken out of it. And so saying I trust him or kind of

1486
01:33:02.860 --> 01:33:06.760
like almost like the disconnect between head and heart thing.

1487
01:33:06.880 --> 01:33:10.800
And so seeing it and thinking one thing, but living a

1488
01:33:10.800 --> 01:33:15.600
different thing. But then when I heard Chrissy, and then I also

1489
01:33:15.600 --> 01:33:20.080
heard Nari talking, I realized that maybe it has more to do

1490
01:33:20.080 --> 01:33:24.220
with actually my parents that I've never really thought of

1491
01:33:24.260 --> 01:33:26.920
before, because I thought they're a great family that I

1492
01:33:26.920 --> 01:33:31.480
never see far from perfect. And all of us are but they were what

1493
01:33:31.480 --> 01:33:34.260
they knew and born again Christians. So I was like, why

1494
01:33:34.260 --> 01:33:38.660
would I have any issues with them? So yeah, that's just kind

1495
01:33:38.660 --> 01:33:41.200
of, I'm still trying to process that.

1496
01:33:41.760 --> 01:33:41.780
Okay.

1497
01:33:43.320 --> 01:33:46.860
Yeah. And ladies, it doesn't mean our parents are bad people,

1498
01:33:47.380 --> 01:33:50.580
you know, even myself, okay, I love my girls, my spiritual

1499
01:33:50.580 --> 01:33:53.400
daughters, I love my stepson, I did the best that I could where

1500
01:33:53.400 --> 01:33:56.860
I was at. But man, I would go back and change some things if I

1501
01:33:56.860 --> 01:34:01.100
could, I really would. And they weren't like massively bad

1502
01:34:01.020 --> 01:34:04.320
things. But like, even with the girl's dad, I stayed with their

1503
01:34:04.320 --> 01:34:08.900
dad way too long, you all. And I there's times where I'm like,

1504
01:34:08.900 --> 01:34:12.540
man, I was a bad example in that regard. But then I'm also

1505
01:34:12.540 --> 01:34:15.340
like, but it gave me all those other those extra years with

1506
01:34:15.340 --> 01:34:19.040
them that really solidified our relationship. And so I see the

1507
01:34:19.040 --> 01:34:22.940
good in that too. But Ruth on on the instruction, and then

1508
01:34:22.940 --> 01:34:25.460
chicken out of it, you said thinking of one thing doing

1509
01:34:25.460 --> 01:34:29.680
another, and made me think about Paul, you know, and Paul talked

1510
01:34:29.680 --> 01:34:33.180
about, like, you know, sometimes I do the things I don't want to

1511
01:34:33.000 --> 01:34:37.080
do. And, you know, it's it's the flip side of that a little bit

1512
01:34:37.080 --> 01:34:41.460
what you were saying. But Paul himself, he's literally like

1513
01:34:41.480 --> 01:34:46.640
wrote half of the New Testament, essentially, struggle with, Oh,

1514
01:34:46.640 --> 01:34:49.020
my gosh, I don't want to do these things. But I keep doing

1515
01:34:48.920 --> 01:34:52.640
them. You know, we all have flesh, we all struggle. But in

1516
01:34:52.640 --> 01:34:55.380
the chicken out of it, that really stood out to me. And I

1517
01:34:55.380 --> 01:34:57.640
feel like those partners with some of the things I've coached

1518
01:34:57.640 --> 01:34:59.880
you on in the past, like that, to

1519
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:09.680
like that, like it's almost like the enemy has taken humility and he's weaponized it

1520
01:35:09.680 --> 01:35:15.060
towards you. Okay. Where you go into, it's actually called false humility. And I'm not

1521
01:35:15.060 --> 01:35:21.160
saying you're doing this intentionally. Okay. But sometimes we do this where it's not, it's

1522
01:35:21.160 --> 01:35:28.200
no longer humility, but it's taken so far that we never, like, we're always like pushing

1523
01:35:28.200 --> 01:35:33.660
ourselves down. We're pushing ourselves down and literally almost believing that the other

1524
01:35:33.660 --> 01:35:38.740
person is always greater. Right. And so looking at what what's causing you to chicken out

1525
01:35:38.740 --> 01:35:43.160
of something, let's, you know, really think about that this week, chickening out of something

1526
01:35:43.160 --> 01:35:48.760
means to me that there's fear somewhere that you're partnering with, because that's, what's

1527
01:35:48.760 --> 01:35:53.540
making you back off. So even myself, I was telling the ladies this afternoon, there's

1528
01:35:53.540 --> 01:35:58.240
a project that I have had, literally, it's on my Jesus cares board for this whole year.

1529
01:35:58.320 --> 01:36:02.600
And it was on there last year, you all I have made a little bit of progress, but not as

1530
01:36:02.600 --> 01:36:06.640
much as I want. And it's on a book that I'm writing. And I know God wants me to write

1531
01:36:06.640 --> 01:36:10.940
it you all and I keep putting everybody else and everything else in front of it. Why do

1532
01:36:10.940 --> 01:36:17.180
I do that when I really am honest with myself, I've had to look at, well, I actually have

1533
01:36:17.180 --> 01:36:22.080
believed the lie at one point, I'm past this now, but I just now it's making the time on

1534
01:36:22.080 --> 01:36:28.360
my calendar for it and really sticking to that, making myself a priority. But I feared

1535
01:36:28.360 --> 01:36:33.260
that I didn't really have anything to say that people haven't already heard, or that

1536
01:36:33.260 --> 01:36:38.180
it wouldn't be good enough for, you know, whatever that thing is. And so then my fears

1537
01:36:38.180 --> 01:36:48.180
lead me to procrastination. Okay. And so technically, in a sense, it's chickening out a little bit,

1538
01:36:48.180 --> 01:36:53.300
because I'm fearing something that isn't real. I don't like, I believe that I do have

1539
01:36:53.300 --> 01:36:58.680
something to say, or I wouldn't be a leader, I wouldn't be a, you know, like, I know that

1540
01:36:58.680 --> 01:37:03.300
God has done things in me. So why, when I go to write a book, does it feel different

1541
01:37:03.300 --> 01:37:08.620
than when I coach? That's what I've been kind of processing, wait a minute here. So how

1542
01:37:08.620 --> 01:37:13.900
is the enemy getting an upper hand on me regarding the book? Why does that feel weightier than

1543
01:37:13.900 --> 01:37:18.660
coaching? And so that's how I've been processing some of my own things. And so I hope that

1544
01:37:18.660 --> 01:37:23.420
that helps you with whatever it is that God is nudging you to go forward and do that you're

1545
01:37:23.420 --> 01:37:28.680
feeling that like backing away from it instead of going towards it. And so I've been trying

1546
01:37:28.680 --> 01:37:34.800
to just stand in, okay, God, I do have something to say, I can write this book, I don't have

1547
01:37:34.820 --> 01:37:37.900
writer's block, I'm not going to partner with that anymore, because that's what was happening

1548
01:37:37.900 --> 01:37:42.740
to y'all, I can get on and write an amazing post on my social media page. But when I would

1549
01:37:42.740 --> 01:37:49.880
sit down to write the book, it was like, uh, I don't know what to say. When I do, I

1550
01:37:49.880 --> 01:37:54.440
do know what to say. But I'm just being real with you all, like we all face these things.

1551
01:37:54.540 --> 01:37:58.440
And so let's look at the core, like, what's the root of that for you?

1552
01:37:59.000 --> 01:38:06.920
I mean, it has to do with identity, not feeling like I have what it takes. So I, I really

1553
01:38:06.920 --> 01:38:17.800
don't have anything of value. Interesting. Yeah, sorry, I thought you were done there.

1554
01:38:19.100 --> 01:38:24.160
It's interesting to me that your parents came up tonight to an identity for you is coming up.

1555
01:38:24.700 --> 01:38:31.260
And so it doesn't mean that you they didn't enforce a good identity, you know, value system

1556
01:38:31.260 --> 01:38:37.360
in you, your worth, but I just I'm wondering what the Lord might be doing there, even though

1557
01:38:37.360 --> 01:38:44.300
they were, it sounds like they were really good people. And what's coming up in my spirit is

1558
01:38:44.300 --> 01:38:52.180
sometimes parents are so overprotective, that kids don't have enough ability to kind of spread their

1559
01:38:52.180 --> 01:38:57.600
wings when they're younger. And so then they can have a failure to launch when they're older.

1560
01:38:58.160 --> 01:39:05.420
And so Ruth, I don't know if that resonates for you. But that's what's coming. Yeah. And so I

1561
01:39:05.420 --> 01:39:09.580
want you to come out of agreement with that you have a failure to launch, you're going to thrive,

1562
01:39:09.680 --> 01:39:17.240
you can do this. And I'm really looking at and maybe that's why your parents came up tonight,

1563
01:39:17.440 --> 01:39:25.540
maybe they really kind of over protected you out of love, and trying to like, you know,

1564
01:39:25.540 --> 01:39:33.020
guard you from the world, essentially. Yeah, so pray to that, and then come in the group and let

1565
01:39:33.020 --> 01:39:37.480
me know how that goes. Okay, because I feel like there might be a little more to unpack there.

1566
01:39:38.500 --> 01:39:44.880
Okay, thank you. You're welcome. Thanks for sharing that. Alina, go ahead. So after Alina

1567
01:39:44.880 --> 01:39:50.500
and Eloise, I am going to close this down for tonight. So joy, since you were able to go this

1568
01:39:50.580 --> 01:39:56.400
I'm probably not going to have you go again this evening. Okay. All right, Alina, go ahead.

1569
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:18.020
Okay. Hi. Hi. I haven't talked on here in a while, so I almost don't quite know how to unpack stuff sometimes, or I feel like it's not a big deal or it's not legit.

1570
01:40:18.020 --> 01:40:31.520
But anyways, I thought about submission. I thought on the flip side, sometimes I found myself needing to not be overly submissive.

1571
01:40:33.060 --> 01:40:48.180
I had a deep desire after I met the Lord to honor your father and mother and the leaders and just deep desire to honor God in that.

1572
01:40:52.520 --> 01:41:11.180
And I've gotten hurt a lot by leaders and also in relationships, getting lost in their world and maybe overly submissive and realizing, oh, I need to figure out how to have my backbone, too.

1573
01:41:12.720 --> 01:41:36.260
I've gotten hurt in relationships as well. And what's coming up right now is when I first got my heart broken by my sister, when we disagreed on a really big situation in our family and how to take care of a younger sister who was dealing with bipolar and her and I were trying to take care of her.

1574
01:41:36.260 --> 01:42:03.740
And we went our separate ways when things got hard because we couldn't agree on things. But at the time, I didn't understand what was going on, why she was distancing. And then I was afraid to really, like, I became more and more submissive, like overly submissive, you know, like afraid to rock the boat or to, like, push people away.

1575
01:42:03.740 --> 01:42:23.200
And I keep having a hard time figuring out how to keep relationships or build relationships. I have an easy time talking to people, but I don't know how to, like, build relationships, community, feel like I have that in my life. Yeah.

1576
01:42:24.220 --> 01:42:27.960
Well, you did great on sharing, by the way. Good job.

1577
01:42:30.180 --> 01:42:54.640
I want to encourage you. I was telling the ladies this afternoon this as well. I remember the same thing kind of in my 30s, but I remember significantly when I turned 40, feeling at some points like certain parts of me that I'm like, man, I should be so much more mature in this area, or I should know how to do this by now.

1578
01:42:54.640 --> 01:43:10.060
So when you were talking about having a tough time at times building relationship and knowing how to do that, that came to mind. And so I don't know if you or anyone else here resonates with that. Sometimes we just, it's like, we feel like we should be further along in some area.

1579
01:43:10.060 --> 01:43:33.800
But one of the things God showed me is that no one really taught me. You know, no one taught me how to build a healthy relationship. My mom, you know, like I said, wouldn't get out of bed for a long time. And there was a lot of manipulation and my mom actually functioned in a lot of narcissistic tendencies and things like that. But I didn't even know what that was, you know, all those years ago.

1580
01:43:33.800 --> 01:43:58.200
And so I want to encourage you that that can change. God has absolutely taught me how to build healthy relationships with people. I'm not saying other people are always healthy, and they're not always capable of having a healthy relationship. But I definitely spot healthy people a lot better now, a lot easier, and then am able to build healthy friendship and relationship with them. So I just want to speak that over you.

1581
01:43:58.200 --> 01:44:28.180
But then also, just want you to know that you're not alone on the struggle of being overly submissive, and then getting tripped up with, you know, people getting hurt by people that then have too much authority. And so just, you know, would love for ladies in the chat, just kind of, you know, show Alina some support. If you've ever struggled with being overly submissive, where it then got you in a kind of, like a tricky situation with someone in leadership, whether that was your parents or someone in the church.

1582
01:44:28.880 --> 01:44:46.380
Just so that she can see that she's not alone in that. But also, what came to mind is boundaries, Alina, and that, you know, God wants to continue to help you, you know, know the line between honoring people, but also having healthy boundaries.

1583
01:44:46.380 --> 01:44:58.300
Because we can, like, you know, it's very interesting now that my pastor is my husband, it's a little different, but I still there's that level of, like, I call him Pastor Brian to people.

1584
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:04.860
you just call him Brian, he's your husband. I'm like, well, he's, he's my pastor. He and I feel

1585
01:45:04.980 --> 01:45:10.000
like it's important if, if I'm just calling him Brian to other people that we want them to call

1586
01:45:10.000 --> 01:45:16.220
him Pastor Brian, then doesn't that get confusing for them? So I just feel like it's a way I can

1587
01:45:16.220 --> 01:45:25.120
honor him. But back in the day, when I was in that other church that was more religious,

1588
01:45:26.500 --> 01:45:34.200
I gave them too much room, you know, to, to really define me in ways that I should have

1589
01:45:34.200 --> 01:45:42.060
been getting my definition from the Lord. Does that make sense? So like, yeah. Yeah. And so

1590
01:45:42.120 --> 01:45:48.100
I had to go back and really look at some of those, like those relationships where the authority did

1591
01:45:48.100 --> 01:45:54.640
end up hurting me, like, Lord, what led me to give them too much power? What led, what were

1592
01:45:54.640 --> 01:45:59.900
the areas I didn't set healthy boundaries with them that I can learn now in my relationships in

1593
01:45:59.900 --> 01:46:06.480
the days ahead to set healthy boundaries, you know, where you, we understand that in giving

1594
01:46:06.480 --> 01:46:12.620
honor to people that, you know, where honors do, there is still a line. Okay. There still is a

1595
01:46:12.620 --> 01:46:17.620
boundary line. And you can look at even Jesus in the examples that he gave us. He set boundaries

1596
01:46:17.620 --> 01:46:23.520
with people. And I can give you guys a couple of those. Maybe I'll do a post this week and give

1597
01:46:23.520 --> 01:46:29.900
you some scriptures to go in and look at. It can be very interesting when you see how Jesus, you

1598
01:46:29.900 --> 01:46:34.880
know, set different boundaries. One of them that I think of is when, you know, he went away to spend

1599
01:46:34.880 --> 01:46:41.380
time with the Lord and get rejuvenated. Now, you know, there were times where, you know, he set

1600
01:46:41.380 --> 01:46:48.100
boundaries even with the Pharisees and, and all the things. So know that it's okay for us to have

1601
01:46:48.100 --> 01:46:58.400
honor, but also set boundaries. I think the other thing would be, you know, regarding your, you know,

1602
01:46:58.420 --> 01:47:06.780
your parents, if there was ever any kind of like struggle there, if there was any, like I was

1603
01:47:06.780 --> 01:47:13.220
talking about earlier that maybe wounds are hurt where they're caused any kind of lack of respect,

1604
01:47:13.940 --> 01:47:20.200
you know, that can get overextended then with other people where we swing the pendulum

1605
01:47:20.200 --> 01:47:26.060
all the way to the other side. And then we're giving people respect before they earn it.

1606
01:47:26.840 --> 01:47:33.700
Does that make sense? Yeah. I'm really big on like, of course I'm going to honor people. I go

1607
01:47:33.700 --> 01:47:43.200
into a room, you know, even my boss's boss, I didn't know him very well, but you know, he has

1608
01:47:43.200 --> 01:47:47.360
one respect and like, I'm going to be honorable. I'm all like kind of people,

1609
01:47:47.500 --> 01:47:50.880
but I guess, what am I trying to say? I'm not going to give him trust

1610
01:47:53.320 --> 01:48:00.380
right out of the gate. Okay. I'm going to get to know him and let him show me that he is not

1611
01:48:00.380 --> 01:48:05.180
somebody that just uses words, but actually has his actions that align with his words.

1612
01:48:05.500 --> 01:48:10.480
You know, yes, I respect the position. Thank you, Karen. I respect their position and their

1613
01:48:10.590 --> 01:48:16.210
authority, but I also get to know them and discern whether or not there's someone that

1614
01:48:16.210 --> 01:48:25.210
I can give my heart and trust to. Does that make sense? Yeah. The lines are a little blurred right

1615
01:48:25.210 --> 01:48:34.010
now in that area, how to do that with people. Cause I've had so much like gap in there after,

1616
01:48:35.350 --> 01:48:42.310
after my sister and I disconnected, I had a really hard time finding people that I can trust.

1617
01:48:43.910 --> 01:48:50.470
Like building those friendships to the point, like, you know, there's times when I, whenever

1618
01:48:50.630 --> 01:48:57.530
I've finally found someone that would listen to me, I would like just kind of open up too much.

1619
01:48:57.530 --> 01:49:02.970
And then I'd be like, I hate that I have to do that. And I wish I didn't do that. And,

1620
01:49:02.970 --> 01:49:08.630
and I open up too quickly to people that I just meet because I need a friend.

1621
01:49:09.550 --> 01:49:14.150
Yeah. And that can be a cycle and I don't know how to break that cycle.

1622
01:49:15.030 --> 01:49:21.030
Yeah. Well, and I think part of it is, is practicing, you know, kind of what you're

1623
01:49:21.030 --> 01:49:25.770
doing in that regard is trauma bonding. You're, you're overwhelmed by the trauma that you

1624
01:49:25.930 --> 01:49:32.670
experienced. And it's, it's, it's caused you in the past to overshare. And so asking the Lord

1625
01:49:32.670 --> 01:49:38.010
to show you like what to share and when to share it, like, these are literally things I prayed you

1626
01:49:38.010 --> 01:49:43.730
all myself, because I did the same thing with certain people and I gave people too much access

1627
01:49:43.730 --> 01:49:49.410
to my heart. And then they, they kind of stomped all over it sometimes. And so really when you see

1628
01:49:49.410 --> 01:49:51.330
that they're not healthy, you're still doing it.

1629
01:49:55.010 --> 01:49:59.970
That can shift a hundred percent. The more that you heal, the more that you can grow.

1630
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:03.260
and discernment to know, okay, this person is not a safe and

1631
01:50:03.260 --> 01:50:06.000
healthy person. And even sometimes when they are safe,

1632
01:50:06.120 --> 01:50:09.020
healthy people doesn't mean we have that God is telling us to

1633
01:50:09.020 --> 01:50:12.240
share that situation with them. You know, so where we really

1634
01:50:12.300 --> 01:50:15.840
know, like, okay, who is the person I, if I need to share

1635
01:50:15.840 --> 01:50:18.060
this with someone who is the person that I need to share

1636
01:50:18.060 --> 01:50:22.880
this with, you know, I highly recommend a counselor, for

1637
01:50:22.780 --> 01:50:26.740
sure, especially if it's a lot of deep trauma, because that

1638
01:50:26.740 --> 01:50:29.740
counselor is not going to try to, hopefully, if they're doing

1639
01:50:29.740 --> 01:50:32.360
their job really well, they're not going to try to lord that

1640
01:50:32.360 --> 01:50:36.440
over you like a leader in a church may or may not do at

1641
01:50:36.440 --> 01:50:39.920
times, you know, now, if they're an unsafe person, especially,

1642
01:50:40.600 --> 01:50:44.060
but if they're safe, you know, you should be able to trust them

1643
01:50:44.060 --> 01:50:47.040
a little bit, but let them show you that you can trust them

1644
01:50:47.000 --> 01:50:49.000
first. Yeah.

1645
01:50:50.620 --> 01:50:55.180
So yeah, my relationship with my mom is also not very close right

1646
01:50:55.180 --> 01:51:02.220
now. She just kind of abandoned me when I was going through

1647
01:51:02.240 --> 01:51:06.160
relationship stuff. I'm still not quite sure why she's not

1648
01:51:06.160 --> 01:51:09.580
very big on communicating even when I tried opening it up.

1649
01:51:10.560 --> 01:51:20.680
Yeah, many times she would get very upset. Um, so I would just

1650
01:51:20.680 --> 01:51:24.760
get used to, I still want to be connected with her even when she

1651
01:51:24.760 --> 01:51:32.140
would treat me very, very badly and toxic. But yeah, I think

1652
01:51:32.140 --> 01:51:34.880
she's amazing in so many ways. But then I would get this

1653
01:51:35.400 --> 01:51:40.440
attitude of like, acting like I'm better, or wanting that

1654
01:51:40.440 --> 01:51:45.480
position with people of like, I guess in that sense, not coming

1655
01:51:45.480 --> 01:51:48.660
on the earth or like over exerting like, no, I need to

1656
01:51:48.660 --> 01:51:54.460
have my foot down or a backbone. And I'm like, is this okay? You

1657
01:51:54.460 --> 01:51:58.860
know, like needing to be around people that I can feel like I'm

1658
01:52:01.120 --> 01:52:08.620
in that I that I that I'm not put down. I'm not like, but same

1659
01:52:08.620 --> 01:52:14.680
time, I also crave more. I also crave more like covering and

1660
01:52:15.360 --> 01:52:18.640
leadership mentorship, but I don't know how to get that

1661
01:52:18.640 --> 01:52:26.440
in a healthy way. Right? Because I overly submit after that. And

1662
01:52:26.440 --> 01:52:26.680
yeah,

1663
01:52:27.020 --> 01:52:29.720
part of the struggle there, the tension, the push and pull that

1664
01:52:29.720 --> 01:52:33.780
you're experiencing is the healing that you need regarding

1665
01:52:33.780 --> 01:52:36.940
the relationship with your mom, okay, because that's going to

1666
01:52:36.940 --> 01:52:40.720
cause you to try to seek out a mentor relationship to try to

1667
01:52:40.720 --> 01:52:43.340
fill that void and doesn't mean you can't want that kind of

1668
01:52:43.340 --> 01:52:45.600
relationship in your life in general, those are good for you.

1669
01:52:45.600 --> 01:52:50.220
But sometimes we can crave it like we need to have it and

1670
01:52:50.220 --> 01:52:52.860
that's coming from the void there of the wounds with your

1671
01:52:52.700 --> 01:52:57.400
mom. And then the flip side is trying to exert exert yourself

1672
01:52:57.620 --> 01:53:02.020
into that place of authority over somebody as a form of like,

1673
01:53:02.020 --> 01:53:06.480
almost like that's my identity. This is who I am. I'm strong. I

1674
01:53:06.480 --> 01:53:09.740
you know, I have authority I have, you know, where the

1675
01:53:09.740 --> 01:53:15.580
healing on the inside. Remember, we're not looking for behavior

1676
01:53:15.580 --> 01:53:20.300
healing on the inside that then creates long term transformation

1677
01:53:20.300 --> 01:53:25.460
on the outside. And so the more that you heal, Alina, I believe

1678
01:53:25.460 --> 01:53:28.360
that's going to shift for you more and more, I would encourage

1679
01:53:28.360 --> 01:53:34.700
you to really pray this week specifically about who is God as

1680
01:53:34.700 --> 01:53:40.600
your father, and, you know, the divine feminine as well as your,

1681
01:53:40.900 --> 01:53:43.740
you know, your mom, you're the person that loves you

1682
01:53:43.740 --> 01:53:48.300
completely. I know a lot of us don't think of God as a female,

1683
01:53:48.460 --> 01:53:52.520
he's not a female, but he does carry the divine feminine in his

1684
01:53:52.520 --> 01:53:56.500
spirit. And that's why we can experience that loving, nurturing

1685
01:53:56.540 --> 01:54:01.080
nature of who he is. And so I believe that this week, really

1686
01:54:01.080 --> 01:54:04.540
asking him to show you that side of himself and looking up

1687
01:54:04.540 --> 01:54:09.740
scriptures about who God is as love to you, would be really

1688
01:54:09.740 --> 01:54:10.940
beneficial for you.

1689
01:54:11.660 --> 01:54:14.660
Yeah, right now I'm in the caregiving position where I'm

1690
01:54:15.300 --> 01:54:20.860
around my mother, like figures, so to speak, but but I have to

1691
01:54:20.860 --> 01:54:25.300
take care of them and I have to be the strong one. And they're

1692
01:54:25.300 --> 01:54:31.240
just there for me because they need me. And so that's also I

1693
01:54:31.240 --> 01:54:32.020
don't like that either.

1694
01:54:33.500 --> 01:54:36.640
Yeah, and and one of the things I'll recommend ladies is

1695
01:54:36.640 --> 01:54:39.400
sometimes we can get in places where we have several things

1696
01:54:39.400 --> 01:54:44.020
going on at one time and it can feel overwhelming. And so one

1697
01:54:44.020 --> 01:54:47.540
thing I learned is I had to focus on one or two things at a

1698
01:54:47.540 --> 01:54:51.320
time. Because if I tried to fix every every one of these things,

1699
01:54:51.780 --> 01:54:55.700
it's it caused at least for me caused me to shut down. And so

1700
01:54:55.700 --> 01:54:58.620
Alina, I would just start with you know, the stuff with your

1701
01:54:58.620 --> 01:54:59.020
mom.

1702
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:06.560
and really that, you know, setting the boundaries this week, looking into who is God is love to you,

1703
01:55:06.760 --> 01:55:11.140
and over, you know, the next few weeks really leaning into that. And I believe the other,

1704
01:55:11.140 --> 01:55:15.920
the other things will start to shift the more that you get grounded in who you are in Christ

1705
01:55:16.080 --> 01:55:21.660
more and more, for sure. So thank you so much for sharing with us tonight. Appreciate you.

1706
01:55:22.700 --> 01:55:22.900
Thank you.

1707
01:55:23.440 --> 01:55:26.560
You're welcome. Eloise, go ahead.

1708
01:55:30.000 --> 01:55:38.380
Here we go. I'm unmuted. Okay. So this is kind of part of some of the stuff that you said earlier,

1709
01:55:38.380 --> 01:55:44.460
you said something about that your parents didn't want you or whatever. And I remember

1710
01:55:45.200 --> 01:55:51.560
the very first time I had any kind of a counseling, freedom session kind of thing,

1711
01:55:51.560 --> 01:55:57.340
when I first moved to Dallas, this lady said, I see you crying from the womb

1712
01:55:58.560 --> 01:56:05.580
and that you felt hurt and rejected from the womb. And it, I mean, it was like,

1713
01:56:05.880 --> 01:56:21.540
I came from a Baptist background, you know, and so, so that wasn't, and I was in my first

1714
01:56:21.540 --> 01:56:27.580
truth that she was speaking to me. I just felt it from my heart and stuff. And so,

1715
01:56:30.220 --> 01:56:41.260
and my mother, she, her love language was service. So if I came home from college or whatever,

1716
01:56:41.460 --> 01:56:46.140
you know, she'd have clean sheets on the bed and my favorite foods, you know, she'd make

1717
01:56:46.140 --> 01:56:55.280
my favorite stuff I like to eat, but I'm all about words of affirmation and quality time.

1718
01:56:55.320 --> 01:56:59.980
And I never got either one of those from her. So I didn't really get it that she

1719
01:57:00.640 --> 01:57:08.080
loved me because I didn't equate how I was, whatever. So anyway,

1720
01:57:08.080 --> 01:57:16.840
um, but that leads to where I am right now today. Uh, one of the leaders in my home church,

1721
01:57:17.320 --> 01:57:23.600
I've been really hurting and feeling not a part and different people were talking about

1722
01:57:24.060 --> 01:57:30.840
relationships. And so, um, because I never got the quality, I mean, I'm just seeing this today

1723
01:57:30.840 --> 01:57:37.380
was the quality time and the words of affirmation when I'm in conversation or having coffee or

1724
01:57:37.380 --> 01:57:43.940
dinner with friends or whatever, I tend to monopolize the conversation and don't give

1725
01:57:43.940 --> 01:57:50.940
other people enough time for them to, you know, we equally get time, you know, kind of thing.

1726
01:57:50.980 --> 01:57:59.100
And so I didn't realize how much I do that. And, uh, evidently I've done it for a long time. And so,

1727
01:57:59.940 --> 01:58:05.220
uh, my good friend, Brenda, that I was talking to, she said, there needs to be a heart connection.

1728
01:58:07.100 --> 01:58:14.760
Um, to be engaged. And she said, be present, be faithful, be right in the moment,

1729
01:58:14.780 --> 01:58:22.600
wherever your feet are, be right there, you know? And, um, so, um, and she said,

1730
01:58:22.680 --> 01:58:32.220
you know, be intentional about doing, um, uh, listen more than you talk. We don't build really

1731
01:58:32.220 --> 01:58:39.660
relationships if we don't give people, if we don't listen and give them time to talk. And so,

1732
01:58:42.100 --> 01:58:52.720
um, so, um, anyway, I wrote a long, long thing in the coaching thing. Um, and I don't know

1733
01:58:52.720 --> 01:58:58.660
if it posted or not, cause I couldn't find it after I posted it to see if,

1734
01:58:59.380 --> 01:59:04.180
so I don't know if it's there tonight. I, I was in there and answered everybody this morning that

1735
01:59:04.180 --> 01:59:09.180
was showing on my backend that needed an answer or a comment back. And I didn't see it this morning,

1736
01:59:09.460 --> 01:59:16.160
but I can, well, no, I just did it right before late this afternoon. So, um, anyway, but, um,

1737
01:59:17.880 --> 01:59:27.740
so a gal in the, in the home group, we went for coffee yesterday. Um, and, uh, and she said,

1738
01:59:27.740 --> 01:59:37.220
um, you never ask how I'm doing. And I'm like, yes, I have. And she said, no, you don't.

1739
01:59:38.580 --> 01:59:49.500
And, um, so anyway, I'm just feeling, um, and my home church, you know, they'd been helping

1740
01:59:49.500 --> 01:59:54.800
weave with a lot of things since I've been unemployed and, you know, all this stuff. And so,

1741
01:59:54.800 --> 01:59:59.200
um, uh, but I still battle with, uh,

1742
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:01.880
the brain fog stuff.

1743
02:00:02.420 --> 02:00:04.720
And so Brenda said, don't you remember,

1744
02:00:05.140 --> 02:00:07.640
my husband told you about a book you should read.

1745
02:00:07.780 --> 02:00:10.400
And the girl yesterday said the same book.

1746
02:00:11.200 --> 02:00:13.960
And I didn't remember that Mike said that,

1747
02:00:14.020 --> 02:00:15.140
it's been months ago.

1748
02:00:15.540 --> 02:00:19.140
And I didn't not read it,

1749
02:00:19.160 --> 02:00:22.980
but with all we're doing here and being in a job search,

1750
02:00:23.480 --> 02:00:25.580
I just, yeah.

1751
02:00:25.580 --> 02:00:28.320
So anyway, I just feel like,

1752
02:00:30.560 --> 02:00:36.100
I've been sabotaging myself and didn't mean to be.

1753
02:00:37.380 --> 02:00:43.180
I'm just so, I've been so alone for so long

1754
02:00:44.780 --> 02:00:50.880
and I want relationships, but evidently I'm just,

1755
02:00:56.720 --> 02:00:58.100
I'm just doing it all wrong.

1756
02:00:58.100 --> 02:01:02.440
Well, okay, here, let me help you on something though.

1757
02:01:05.820 --> 02:01:08.640
It doesn't mean you're doing it all wrong, Eloise.

1758
02:01:10.560 --> 02:01:12.960
Okay, so I don't want you to receive that lie.

1759
02:01:15.800 --> 02:01:16.360
Okay?

1760
02:01:16.880 --> 02:01:17.400
Okay.

1761
02:01:18.640 --> 02:01:21.720
Now I'm not in the situation with you with those ladies

1762
02:01:21.720 --> 02:01:24.240
and the conversations and all the things,

1763
02:01:24.240 --> 02:01:30.020
but yeah, sometimes we can get into a self-absorbed mode

1764
02:01:30.020 --> 02:01:31.560
without realizing it,

1765
02:01:31.640 --> 02:01:34.120
but I doubt that that's what you intended.

1766
02:01:35.540 --> 02:01:39.240
And now you know how some people are feeling

1767
02:01:39.520 --> 02:01:42.520
and now you can make some changes if they're needed.

1768
02:01:42.700 --> 02:01:43.860
And that's okay.

1769
02:01:44.020 --> 02:01:46.920
I mean, the reality is,

1770
02:01:46.940 --> 02:01:51.180
is we don't have to choose to think we're like muck.

1771
02:01:51.320 --> 02:01:53.560
Like we've just messed it all up

1772
02:01:53.560 --> 02:01:55.240
and there's no value in us.

1773
02:01:55.300 --> 02:01:57.820
And we don't have to believe those lies,

1774
02:01:58.120 --> 02:02:00.740
even though someone's giving us constructive criticism

1775
02:02:00.740 --> 02:02:04.140
or they're saying, hey, like I'm not feeling seen here.

1776
02:02:04.760 --> 02:02:07.720
And what can happen is it's like what I was saying

1777
02:02:07.880 --> 02:02:11.800
to one of the ladies, like that pendulum can kind of swing.

1778
02:02:12.180 --> 02:02:15.880
We didn't get these needs met in our lives in areas.

1779
02:02:16.020 --> 02:02:18.640
And so sometimes when we go into relationships,

1780
02:02:18.760 --> 02:02:20.720
we've swung all the way to the other side.

1781
02:02:21.320 --> 02:02:23.600
And so we're trying to get that from other people,

1782
02:02:23.780 --> 02:02:26.060
get that from other people without realizing it.

1783
02:02:26.140 --> 02:02:27.160
It's a subconscious thing.

1784
02:02:27.200 --> 02:02:29.020
And so I just want you to have a lot of grace

1785
02:02:29.020 --> 02:02:33.480
towards yourself and just know, praise the Lord.

1786
02:02:33.880 --> 02:02:37.380
You can continue to heal and be intentional

1787
02:02:37.380 --> 02:02:39.620
the next time you're around those people to be like,

1788
02:02:39.700 --> 02:02:42.060
you know what, today I am gonna talk

1789
02:02:42.060 --> 02:02:44.200
because it doesn't mean you can never speak, okay?

1790
02:02:44.200 --> 02:02:45.620
So I don't want you to receive that either.

1791
02:02:45.960 --> 02:02:49.520
You go around people, but just maybe be aware of like,

1792
02:02:50.380 --> 02:02:51.740
something I used to do.

1793
02:02:52.420 --> 02:02:54.880
And I did this when I was like coaching or in groups,

1794
02:02:54.940 --> 02:02:57.040
I would set a timer for myself.

1795
02:02:58.260 --> 02:03:01.000
Y'all know I can talk, I can get going

1796
02:03:01.000 --> 02:03:02.440
and I can get real fired up.

1797
02:03:02.520 --> 02:03:04.900
And just before I realized that 10 minutes had passed.

1798
02:03:05.240 --> 02:03:09.260
And so with my best friend, she tends to be more quiet.

1799
02:03:09.800 --> 02:03:12.740
And so I've had to really work on being intentional

1800
02:03:12.740 --> 02:03:16.440
to say like, hey, I've chatted for a little bit now,

1801
02:03:16.440 --> 02:03:18.020
I wanna hear what's going on with you.

1802
02:03:18.540 --> 02:03:18.600
Right.

1803
02:03:19.760 --> 02:03:22.840
But that's something I've had to build that muscle.

1804
02:03:24.160 --> 02:03:25.620
So it's all good.

1805
02:03:26.100 --> 02:03:29.320
And it's okay that, I know that can be hard

1806
02:03:29.320 --> 02:03:31.000
when people tell us things like that.

1807
02:03:31.180 --> 02:03:33.860
But again, remember that doesn't, it's like,

1808
02:03:35.580 --> 02:03:37.420
I don't know why this is the analogy

1809
02:03:37.420 --> 02:03:39.420
that's coming to my head, but this is what I have.

1810
02:03:39.960 --> 02:03:43.380
Let's imagine you have a thing full of sugar

1811
02:03:45.160 --> 02:03:49.020
and somehow a couple of black things get in there.

1812
02:03:50.220 --> 02:03:50.700
Okay.

1813
02:03:50.720 --> 02:03:54.100
We're gonna call those the mess ups, the mistakes we make.

1814
02:03:54.460 --> 02:03:54.940
Right.

1815
02:03:54.940 --> 02:03:58.360
Well, the whole sugar thing doesn't become black

1816
02:03:59.220 --> 02:04:01.940
unless you put more black in, more black in, more black in.

1817
02:04:02.240 --> 02:04:04.300
The reality is, is there's a couple of pieces

1818
02:04:04.300 --> 02:04:05.260
of black in there.

1819
02:04:05.740 --> 02:04:06.220
Okay.

1820
02:04:06.560 --> 02:04:08.420
So that's how I want you to look at this.

1821
02:04:08.460 --> 02:04:11.780
I know that's a very simplistic like kind of picture,

1822
02:04:11.780 --> 02:04:15.100
but just because you have a couple of things

1823
02:04:15.100 --> 02:04:16.020
that someone's saying,

1824
02:04:16.320 --> 02:04:19.020
hey, like this is something I'm noticing about you.

1825
02:04:19.060 --> 02:04:22.480
It doesn't mean your whole container's black Eloise.

1826
02:04:23.940 --> 02:04:23.940


1827
02:04:24.340 --> 02:04:24.940
Yeah.

1828
02:04:24.960 --> 02:04:26.920
You got all kinds of sugar in there.

1829
02:04:30.320 --> 02:04:35.200
Well, so because of the job search and everything,

1830
02:04:41.780 --> 02:04:43.280
what was I gonna say?

1831
02:04:45.880 --> 02:04:46.500
Oh shoot.

1832
02:04:48.580 --> 02:04:51.940
Oh, I said, you know, I think I said it in the note

1833
02:04:52.080 --> 02:04:54.660
I wrote to you and the other coaches

1834
02:04:56.700 --> 02:04:59.980
that it's good that the Lord.

1835
02:05:00.000 --> 02:05:10.080
shone a light on this because, you know, I mean, you can have a big piece of spinach in your teeth,

1836
02:05:10.160 --> 02:05:14.900
but, you know, if you're not looking in the mirror, you don't know it unless somebody says,

1837
02:05:15.160 --> 02:05:25.120
did you know, you know, kind of thing. And so I see it, you know, that this has been

1838
02:05:28.280 --> 02:05:30.220
a big part of my life. And, you know, it's been a big part of my life ever since I can remember,

1839
02:05:30.500 --> 02:05:37.100
and nobody has ever, you know, said anything. And,

1840
02:05:39.400 --> 02:05:45.480
well, this is a sign of real relationship. Okay. That's what's happening here. These people care

1841
02:05:45.480 --> 02:05:52.360
enough to tell you something that's hard. And that can lead you into deeper friendship and

1842
02:05:52.360 --> 02:05:58.320
deeper connection if you guys are both able to allow it to, you know, and so it's a really

1843
02:05:58.320 --> 02:06:05.400
beautiful thing. And I just, I just, again, I'm glad that you're seeing it too. I am. And that

1844
02:06:05.400 --> 02:06:10.040
it was, it was brought to your attention, but I just want to make sure you're not going into the

1845
02:06:10.120 --> 02:06:16.820
shame side of things and really seeing yourself as all bad, because that's where you kind of

1846
02:06:16.820 --> 02:06:21.720
started going with what you were saying. So I just want to make sure. And another thing is,

1847
02:06:25.920 --> 02:06:33.660
I connect very easily. Connectedness is my third strength. And so I see everything is connected.

1848
02:06:33.960 --> 02:06:39.520
And so I'll see, you know, this couple that moved here from New Mexico and everything,

1849
02:06:39.520 --> 02:06:44.140
you know, they're in their thirties and they just had their second kiddo and all this. And,

1850
02:06:44.500 --> 02:06:52.800
and so they've had, they've struggled getting to know other, you know, Christian

1851
02:06:53.020 --> 02:06:58.940
couples who have young kids. And so I said, I'd really like to introduce,

1852
02:06:59.660 --> 02:07:08.460
you know, you to this couple because they're both amazing and, and all this stuff. I just

1853
02:07:08.460 --> 02:07:15.260
thought they'd really connect, but, but it's not always received that I'm,

1854
02:07:17.300 --> 02:07:26.020
you know, or I'm, I'm out of step or something. It's all right. Yeah. And again, just remember

1855
02:07:26.440 --> 02:07:33.100
that I've told you guys this before. Everybody doesn't receive me either. I know it might be

1856
02:07:33.940 --> 02:07:40.040
I know it is, but it is true. Not every I'm not everybody's cup of tea and that is okay.

1857
02:07:40.440 --> 02:07:45.760
And you know, I had a leader years ago when I was in a different group that literally was like,

1858
02:07:45.980 --> 02:07:50.140
you're too corporate for me. I'm like, what, what is that? What does that even mean? It's

1859
02:07:50.140 --> 02:07:55.340
because I like structure and I was organized. They didn't want that. Totally fine. Did that

1860
02:07:55.340 --> 02:08:00.900
kind of catch me off guard? Yeah. But I have to understand. And even in church, like

1861
02:08:00.900 --> 02:08:06.120
not everybody is going to feel led to come to our church. Like, you know, we just have to learn how

1862
02:08:06.120 --> 02:08:11.280
to be okay with that. And I know it's not easy Eloise and everybody else, but the reality is

1863
02:08:11.280 --> 02:08:17.040
it's okay for us to not go into people pleasing and feeling like we have to strive for people's

1864
02:08:17.040 --> 02:08:22.620
love or affection or all those things. But I appreciate you sharing that Eloise. I do need

1865
02:08:22.620 --> 02:08:28.940
to start to close this up tonight. I did want to mention in the chat, two things, Lisa Mendricks

1866
02:08:28.940 --> 02:08:33.460
asked if you've done the roots and fruits before, do you need to do it again? No, you don't need to

1867
02:08:33.460 --> 02:08:37.500
do it again if you've already done it ladies, but for those, you know, we kind of cycle these

1868
02:08:37.540 --> 02:08:42.800
activations back through. And so, yeah, so go ahead and if you've done it, you're good, but

1869
02:08:42.800 --> 02:08:48.280
go ahead and do that other activation if you haven't done it yet. And then Kara wrote in the

1870
02:08:48.280 --> 02:08:52.660
chat, this concept of earning trust before opening up is confusing to me when it comes to other

1871
02:08:53.100 --> 02:08:58.220
believers, because they say to be vulnerable with other believers, to gain wisdom and godly community.

1872
02:08:59.500 --> 02:09:06.340
I think the biggest thing that I can say there is that, I mean, I want you all to know that I'm very

1873
02:09:06.860 --> 02:09:12.060
like genuine and I try to be friendly with everybody that I meet, sincerely, like even

1874
02:09:12.060 --> 02:09:20.140
new people to the church, but I don't need to just give them massive trust if I don't know anything

1875
02:09:20.140 --> 02:09:26.200
about them. Okay. Whether they're a believer or not, that's just what I've learned. And I actually

1876
02:09:26.200 --> 02:09:32.940
believe that that is wisdom and godly, you know, revelation. Because in the past, I would just give

1877
02:09:32.940 --> 02:09:38.700
everybody full access to my heart and it just got me all kinds of like, you know, you give people

1878
02:09:38.700 --> 02:09:44.140
authority and trust and they stamp all over it sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes.

1879
02:09:45.100 --> 02:09:51.000
And to say that we have to trust people and be vulnerable with them to gain wisdom and godly

1880
02:09:51.000 --> 02:09:56.780
community from them, well then isn't that them lording that stuff over us in some fashion? I

1881
02:09:56.780 --> 02:09:59.980
feel like it is. So I gained

1882
02:10:00.000 --> 02:10:01.680
Wisdom from people all the time.

1883
02:10:02.120 --> 02:10:04.100
And I don't know everything about them.

1884
02:10:04.200 --> 02:10:07.980
I can listen to podcasts and gain wisdom and not really know the person.

1885
02:10:08.060 --> 02:10:13.360
So I want to make sure that we're, we're not believing, you know, that

1886
02:10:13.360 --> 02:10:16.260
lie now on the flip side of that.

1887
02:10:16.580 --> 02:10:21.780
The more I get to know someone and when somebody like, even with our staff

1888
02:10:21.780 --> 02:10:25.620
at the church, we're talking to them about the culture we want to create

1889
02:10:25.620 --> 02:10:29.680
here, and we do want vulnerability to be a part of that, but guess what?

1890
02:10:29.680 --> 02:10:33.420
People are vulnerable when they can trust you.

1891
02:10:35.220 --> 02:10:38.440
And to give vulnerability before, you know, you can trust

1892
02:10:38.440 --> 02:10:41.260
someone is actually not wise.

1893
02:10:42.900 --> 02:10:43.460
Okay.

1894
02:10:43.840 --> 02:10:48.080
And so hopefully that was helpful, Cara and everyone else.

1895
02:10:48.080 --> 02:10:52.240
I just wanted to bring some clarity there as much as I could, if that's still

1896
02:10:52.240 --> 02:10:55.460
confusing, definitely want to chat that out with you in the group and

1897
02:10:55.460 --> 02:10:57.020
just appreciate you sharing that.

1898
02:10:57.480 --> 02:10:58.880
Um, I'm going to pray us out ladies.

1899
02:10:58.880 --> 02:11:00.400
This has been an awesome night.

1900
02:11:00.580 --> 02:11:01.800
Father, thank you for everything.

1901
02:11:02.200 --> 02:11:06.140
Thank you for revealing these areas for healing and

1902
02:11:06.140 --> 02:11:07.760
bringing truth where we need it.

1903
02:11:07.820 --> 02:11:11.340
God, I ask you to comfort all of these ladies that are here.

1904
02:11:11.400 --> 02:11:15.100
Those are going to watch the replay, comfort their hearts in the brokenness

1905
02:11:15.100 --> 02:11:18.460
and the areas with moms and dads and authority figures, people that have

1906
02:11:18.460 --> 02:11:20.700
maybe mishandled their hearts in any way.

1907
02:11:20.780 --> 02:11:24.840
God, we ask for your hedge of protection and we thank you for it around them.

1908
02:11:24.840 --> 02:11:28.420
Not only tonight, but in the days to come, God, we thank you for greater

1909
02:11:28.420 --> 02:11:29.300
revealings for healing.

1910
02:11:29.500 --> 02:11:33.080
We thank you for that freedom bell that is ringing and that things are

1911
02:11:33.080 --> 02:11:34.880
breaking and freedom is happening.

1912
02:11:35.180 --> 02:11:38.520
Breakthrough after breakthrough after breakthrough will be ours and the

1913
02:11:38.520 --> 02:11:40.880
supernatural realm, that things will be accelerated.

1914
02:11:41.520 --> 02:11:44.960
God, that you'll connect dots and help us to understand what you're saying in

1915
02:11:44.960 --> 02:11:46.740
the spirit realm more than ever before.

1916
02:11:46.800 --> 02:11:48.720
And we just thank you in advance for it.

1917
02:11:48.780 --> 02:11:50.920
In Jesus name, praise the Lord.

1918
02:11:50.920 --> 02:11:51.980
I love you guys.

1919
02:11:51.980 --> 02:11:53.100
I'll see you in the group.

1920
02:11:53.220 --> 02:11:54.340
Have a good night, everybody.

1921
02:11:54.620 --> 02:11:55.020
Bye.