Hello.
Happy Monday, everyone.
So glad to be here with all of you again tonight.
If you are new, you're joining us for your first live session,
as in you've never been on a live with us, put that in the chat for me.
If you're not sure where to find the chat,
if you hover over the bottom of your screen, there's a little button,
whether you're on your phone or computer that says chat,
that's how you can start to see that chat box.
And just let us know you're joining for your first live session.
Welcome back to all of my ladies that are returning,
whether you've been here live or watching the replays, they all matter.
So you're still getting the truth in you.
And that's what's really important.
I want to encourage those of you that do watch the replays.
I had someone ask this question,
and I wanted just to make sure everybody knows this.
If you're only able to watch the replays,
it's okay to still do the activations on the weeks that you're watching
those replays, come in and post in the group,
ask your questions in the group.
I know that you guys aren't able to ask your questions live.
And so I always like to remind everyone, there is never a dumb question.
I know some people get really nervous to ask questions because they don't
want to look silly or they're not sure if their question is important,
but every question is important.
And what you're processing really matters to us, the coaches, our team.
And we want you to know that we want to support you,
even if you are not able to join us live.
And yeah, so we're excited to have you here tonight.
Welcome to our new ladies.
It looks like Rosa's here for her first time tonight.
Welcome, Rosa.
I'm trying to see if I can.
Okay, I see you.
Hello.
Welcome.
All right.
I'm Bethany Cooper.
I'm one of the master hardwork coaches in the community.
I'll be here leading us live tonight.
Normally Annette is here with us.
She's one of our peer coaches.
Sorry, I just need to go ahead and mute the background there,
but she is not feeling well.
So we're going to send some good wishes her way.
And she's praying for us and just wanted you to know that is why she's not
able to be here with us tonight, but she's thinking about all of you.
A couple little housekeeping things.
I just do this every couple weeks.
It's not because anybody put anything in the group that led me to say this,
but it's just a good reminder.
If you are new to our community in the last few weeks,
just want you to know that we don't approve posts in our groups from any
outside businesses, ministries, individuals.
So even if it's like social media content, that's really amazing.
It's from a ministry.
We don't, if that gets posted in our group pages,
we go ahead and remove all that because our team just doesn't have time to
vet all that stuff out.
And sometimes what can happen is our counterfeit identities think something's
really awesome regarding marriage.
And sometimes there's religion in it.
And sometimes there's things that we just don't align with in this
community.
And so we just kind of set that guardrail as a safety for everyone in that
regard.
Because back in the day when we first started, well,
when Jackie first started this years ago,
we had people that wanted to share sermons and all that kind of stuff.
And even though that blesses you all,
the reality is our team doesn't have time to watch hour long sermons,
30 minute long things to make sure that there are messages that we align
with.
And so just want you all to know that on the front end.
And so if you do ever post something like that, even if it's a devotional,
if it's outside content,
we just kind of keep that across the board and we do that,
remove that from our groups.
So that's nothing against you.
It's just our guideline.
Weekly roll call posts go up every Sunday morning.
Want to encourage you all to come in and comment on that.
Those are connected.
A lot of times what I do is I take notes from our supernatural Saturdays
and then just really try to put kind of a synopsis together for you all.
We still want you to watch the lot or the replay of that.
If you've not heard it or couldn't be there live with us,
because they are that good. You all they're worth making the time for.
I'll tell you what.
And man,
this last week was about basically how generational blessings are greater
than generational curses.
A lot of churches and a lot of people talk about generational curses.
Some, some churches and some people don't ever talk about any of that,
but then the ones that do,
they emphasize that side of it,
but not a lot of people talk about generational blessings and it's really
important for y'all to catch that understanding.
So I want to encourage you to take a listen to that.
Have your notes in your pen ready.
You know, one of the things Jackie was talking about,
and I want to go back and listen to it again, myself, just for me,
because I normally listen and I'm taking notes and trying to think of what to
give you all. And I just needed to absorb some things for myself, but man,
And what she was just talking about, you know,
the legacy that we're going to inherit.
You know, I want to encourage you guys.
As we start to talk about tonight's content,
I want you to think about a couple of weeks ago.
And even if you weren't here, you can receive this night.
Princess perspectives.
What is it like to live like a princess?
What is it like to believe?
even inheriting good things versus inheriting bad things, negative things.
You know, your lineage and legacy comes straight from heaven and,
and God is rewriting your story.
So no matter what happened in your family line, biologically, like I
didn't grow up in a healthy family.
My parents were divorced.
My dad was an alcoholic and a drug addict.
He left literally right after I was born and kind of on occasion came into the
all the things, um, my mom had a lot of brokenness, stayed in bed, you know,
had to do, I felt like I had to do things all the time to make her happy,
get her out of bed, cheer her up, all those kinds of things.
And that's just a little glimpse of some of my story.
And I'll tell you what God has really shown me over the years, how he has
called me to be a kinsmen redeemer in my family line and to change things
for generations to come behind me.
And so when I was listening to Jackie's message, I was just like, yes, yes.
And I even know like I was receiving more upgrades regarding that and just
the truth of all the blessings that I get to benefit from right now from
other people that have gone before me.
So again, just want to encourage you all take a listen to that.
Be ready to take notes, really allow yourself to receive the upgrade of what
God wants to give you, not just regarding your love story, but your whole life,
your whole family and a lot of great nuggets in there.
All right.
Let me pray for us.
I'm going to go ahead and get us started on the content for tonight.
Father, thank you so much for your goodness.
God, thank you for your grace.
Yes, Lord.
Thank you for your mercy.
That is new every morning.
God, I thank you that you love us so much.
Your love is unconditional.
Nothing can separate us from your love, not height, nor depth, nor
principality, nor powers, nor things in the present, nor things to come.
Not even the things in our past.
None of that separates us from your love.
God, we thank you that your love is abundant.
It's flowing from heaven freely tonight.
I pray that you would help us to receive an upgrade in our understanding of who
you are, God, as love and kind, good, faithful, generous God giving.
I thank you that you would just take those things out of darkness and
bring them into the light for the revealings for healing that we need.
God, I thank you that you are the great dot connector.
I pray that you would connect dots in our spirits and our souls tonight.
Things where we haven't understood something or we've been stuck and
we just don't know why we're stuck.
God, I thank you that people would get just dislodged, unlodged, like
they would break free tonight.
God, in the supernatural realm and that it would change things
in the physical realm as well.
We thank you, God, for sending Jesus.
And Jesus, we thank you for coming, for dying on the cross and shedding
your blood for the forgiveness of our sins, for our healing, for
our redemption, for our freedom.
And I thank you, God and Jesus, that you sent the Holy Spirit to be with us
every single day, that we never have to walk alone.
Thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here with us tonight.
I pray that you would weave in and out of the coaching, the teaching, the
conversations, and let your presence be known among us in Jesus name.
Amen.
You know, tonight we're going to talk about submission and, uh, and
just what it is and what it's not.
And we're also going to talk about rebellion, but in regards to, because
when I talk about submission tonight, I'm going to talk a lot about father
figures, but the reality is, is this also impacts mother figures, but
specifically this morning, as I was praying for our sessions today, God,
God was talking to my heart about re rebellion specifically towards mothers
and mother figures in our hearts, areas where there have been things that have
happened that have caused us to rebel.
And we're going to talk about that a little more, but I just want to prepare
you that that's where we're going tonight.
And so I pray that you would just keep an open heart and open mind as we start
to talk about submission and God's heart towards you regarding it.
So the first thing I just want to plant the seed of this, God will not trespass.
God will not trespass.
He must be permitted to enter.
And I know that can be a hard concept sometimes because we're like, he's God.
He can do whatever he wants.
True.
But he doesn't.
You all, here's the thing.
God is always asking us if he can enter in, just like when we choose to receive
Jesus as our Lord and savior, that is not something God pushes on us.
God invites us to receive Jesus as our Lord and savior.
And then we have an opportunity to accept that or not.
So I want to encourage you to start to shift the way that you're thinking about
how God is doing things in your life.
Now, God can do things and he sets things in motions for, you know, for our good.
He's always working behind the scenes.
But I want you to shift out of the mindset that God is pushing things on you
I hear all the time in this community women that are afraid that God is gonna make them
Be with someone that they're not attracted to you and someone that they can't even really connect with
Well, does that sound like a good God to you?
It doesn't to me and I definitely have not experienced God forcing me to do those things
In the past I chose
In my current marriage I chose in the past
I've I unfortunately chose unhealthy relationships unhealthy people praise the Lord God showed me some some things
He healed my heart
He gave me understanding and revelation that I didn't have before so I was able to make a different decision this time around
But God never forced any of that on me
You know, what's really awesome is actually this last time around I never looked at it like this I
Would date one person and that's who I'd be in relationship with y'all for a long time
Not sure why I did that
But that's what I did
But God told me when I was going through the heart work through Jackie Dorman
That he was going to give me choices when I heard her say it. It was like God was talking straight to me
I wrote it down on a little post-it
I'll have to see if I can find that and if I do I'll put it up in the group you all
But literally God told me he was gonna give me
Choices that I'm not a pauper that I wasn't a pauper that I I wasn't this orphan that had to beg and and he was
Gonna give me plenty of choices. Well
Y'all he did
There were there were several good guys that I was talking to they weren't all the best one for me, but they were good guys
praise the Lord God gave me discernment and wisdom and I really saw that Brian was God's best for me and
A lot of things set him apart from all the other guys and God highlighted him to me tremendously
But I want you to hear that truth. God gave me
choices
He allowed me to choose and he will allow you to do so as well
God is a giver and one of the most beautiful gifts. He has given us is free will in choice
He respects our boundaries and he's not gonna force anything on you again
He stands at the door of your heart and he knocks I'm gonna talk about this scripture later
He's knocking on the door of your hearts even during heart work. He's not forcing this heart work on you
He's not like hey, you have to do this. He's saying hey daughter
Princess my beloved. I love you so much that I don't want you to stay in the heart condition that you're in because it's hurting
you
It's leading you into relationships and places and space spaces that are not my best for you
And so I want you to come out of those places because I love you and I have something so much greater for you and
Then we get to choose if we're going to follow him into that or not
Submission I want you to think about this truth as well
There are some religious men and women that have weaponized this word and portrayed their thoughts and messages as if they were from God himself
But they've actually been misrepresenting God in his heart and truth regarding what submit
Actually means now I want to you know
kind of tow this line really carefully because I know what it's like to be a leader and a pastor and
You think you're communicating?
Excuse me communicating something, you know from the heart of God clearly and that is you know
You're your true intention, but if you have a filter where you look at God's Word in his heart
Incorrectly, guess what? You're gonna convey the message through that filter, aren't you? Right?
And so we want to forgive those people that have taught us incorrectly that have you know weaponized this word submission
to you know force us into
Submitting to that person and authority over us even if they're abusing you and mistreating you. No, that's not God's heart
So we want to lean into okay. What is really from heaven regarding submission? What is God's heart?
Regarding
Choosing to walk in this path. The Holy Spirit is one who can help us discern what God's truth is about submission
So if you're not sure what that is, the Holy Spirit can help you
More and more and more in the days to come the more that you heal the more clearly you're gonna see the Word of God
I can tell you that to the best of my ability
I always you know pursued God's Word with truth to the best that I could but again, you know, even back then
Dreams that I would have they always came through the filter of fear because I had so much fear that was in my life
And so sometimes I would even read the Word of God and receive it through the lens of fear
Do you see how that works everyone?
Same thing regarding submission. Some of you all are reading the Word of God and and you think God is is mean and he's cannot wait
to punish you and get you in line because you've been bad,
but that's not who God is, right?
He is always saying, hey, daughter, don't go that way.
That's not what's meant for you.
This isn't your family.
I have something better for you over here.
Come and read the word and spend time with me
because I wanna tell you something
that is a secret from heaven.
And he wants to speak to us and relate to us.
We have to be willing to allow God to heal us
and reveal to us areas where we have misconceptions
and belief systems that are preventing us
from living the healthy and amazing life
that he has for us.
So have you asked God recently,
God, is there any belief system that I have right now
that does not align with heaven?
That doesn't sound like you, that doesn't look like you?
Is there any misconception I have of you, God,
in your character?
I want you all to just really be asking yourself tonight,
how do you view God?
Do you really trust him?
Because here's the thing, if we struggle to submit to God,
he's the person that we should submit,
I mean, he's the heavenly being that we should submit
to first and foremost.
And many of us struggle to do that, why?
Because at the core, we don't really trust him.
That's reality.
And I had to really look at that myself too.
There were so many times where I would say I trusted him,
but then deep down, I didn't.
I wanted to, and in my head I did,
but my heart, because of the things I had gone through
in my life, there were times where I blamed God
for things that I went through
and the way that people treated me.
I blamed him for those things until one day I realized,
you know what, I chose some of this stuff, I chose.
And I stopped blaming God and I took ownership
for the choices that I had been making.
Now, obviously when other people abused me sexually,
that didn't have anything to do with my choice,
that was their choices and their free will
being inflicted upon me in unhealthy ways.
And so in that regard,
I wanna talk about Colossians 3.21 tonight.
Fathers, do not embitter your children
or they will become discouraged.
That's what it says.
In the King James Version, it says,
fathers, provoke not your children to anger,
lest they be discouraged.
The provoke word there literally means
don't stir up your children to anger,
don't excite them or stimulate them
or come in and kind of prod and poke them
into this place and heart posture of anger.
When it talks about lest they would be discouraged,
that actually means be disheartened, be dispirited,
broken in spirit and be dismayed.
I know some of you from some of your stories
and things that you've shared,
the things that your dad or other,
maybe even your ex-husband or things that people have done
that are men and authority in your life
that has provoked you to this place of anger,
this heart posture of bitterness
and resentment, unforgiveness,
and you've become discouraged and disheartened.
And God wants to invite you out of that tonight.
That's why we're talking about it.
He doesn't want you to stay in that place.
He wants you to step further into healing,
release those situations and those people to him
and allow him to set you free
from the pain that fuels your anger, so to speak.
I wanna talk a little bit more
about what I just mentioned there,
the husbands, the ex-husbands and men in authority.
Maybe it was a boss at work.
Maybe it was someone in a church
that was in authority over you that actually,
whether they made a mistake or not
or maybe they lorded their authority over you
or I don't know what that looks like.
I just know that I hear about it all the time, you all.
And I've gone through that myself.
My ex-husband literally was one way
in front of other people
and he was a different person at home.
When we were in front of people,
he was on fire for the Lord,
could pick up a microphone
and preach like nobody's business.
But man, was a nasty like rattlesnake kind of a person
when we were alone.
And even to the point
that when we were going through counseling,
when I was really trying,
like I was trying to save my marriage,
I was doing everything I knew how to do.
And he just acted like he was so convincing
when we'd be in those sessions.
Like he just, like the counselor really did not think
that he was the one doing anything here.
And we would go home
and not only would he be mean and spiteful
and just so negative all the time with me,
like my stepson, literally if he made a mistake,
you'd hit him upside the head and call him stupid.
Like, what are you doing, stupid?
Well.
Okay, how do you go and sit in church and praise the Lord and then you come home and do that stuff?
And then that's just a little example y'all it was a lot worse than that
But I'm saying these things because here's the reality when we have people in authority over us, you know
Of course, I was married at the time
My husband at that time was in authority over me and when they abuse that authority
If we're not careful
there's all these roots of bitterness that get down in our heart because of those situations happening and
That can provoke us to this anger and these heart postures that are not healthy for us
And so I want to encourage you to forgive these people that have hurt you that I've abused you
They've done unhealthy things. They've said unhealthy things
Literally harmful things some of you all I mean
I've heard stories where some of you all have had dads like pulling you by the hair
Like pulling you upstairs and all kinds of stuff. That's terrible
And I'm so sorry that that happened to you. That was never God's heart for you
And even that if that's not what happened to you
Maybe yours is just your dad told you to be quiet and not be heard
Like I don't know what your situation is, but I know that it broke the father's heart when your heart was breaking
I know that for sure
How do I know that because God told me that about my own story I
Know y'all when Lazarus died
Jesus wept
Jesus was a direct example of the father's heart to us. Do you think that God doesn't feel?
When you hurt when you're sad when you cry when your heart is breaking
He loves to hear from you and it breaks his heart when his daughter is
Breaking
It's sad or feels alone. He wants to help us step further into freedom and not believe the lie that we're alone in this world
God is not a controller
He's not a manipulator
He's not this taskmaster
Forcing his will on you
Again it's an invitation into truth if you read the Word of God and
I know some of the Old Testament some people read that and they can get super confused y'all you have to remember Jesus came
That's what the New Testament's about. So yes, it is a very valid the Old Testament's always valid
There's powerful stuff in there
but Jesus came to man fulfill so much of of what was in the Old Testament and make a way for grace and
Make a way for relationship and intimacy with God the Father just as Jesus was one and is one with him
So I want you to really be praying in these next few weeks for you to grow in your understanding of God's character
Because that's key for you and not just like okay. Yeah God help me to know your character
But like God who are you as love to me?
Who are you as kind to me? Who are you? God is faithful to me
What is what is your faithfulness to me mean God like show me show me what that looks like what that feels like and what?
That sounds like God show me who you are is good
The goodness of God can be experienced you all in the land of the living God has that for you. God has that for me
There's scripture that talks about the goodness of God literally like it was chasing Elijah down. Do you think that can't still happen today?
His blessings can literally chase us down in this world
Who is God as peace?
Are you struggling and going through a situation right now that you literally do not know?
How to get out of it or go through it if that's you God himself is peace
he wants to show you who he is and and how he can literally come into the middle of your situation and
Turn all the chaos and the storm into stillness and calm and peace because that's who he is
I want you just to be thinking about the the truth that God with us Emanuel
What does that mean to you?
To really think about God is with you
right now
Not just me
But he's with you Rosa he's with you Chrissy's with you Kelly like right where you're at right now and
He brings the the power and the revelation of everything that set Jesus free from inside of that tomb
He rose him from the dead
That same power is available to you for your whole life to be transformed not just during the heart work
But beyond that in every area of your life. Some of y'all came in here for your love story. That's amazing
And I love that the Lord draws everybody in for that
And through that some people come in just for healing but no matter what led you here
I promise you if you will open your heart completely to this process and what God wants to do in you
Some of you all, your whole life is gonna change.
Like literally, like you in a few years,
your life will be completely different.
How do I know that?
Because I've experienced it.
I've walked this out, you all.
And so some of you are gonna experience
like childlikeness and fun that you haven't experienced
even when you were a kid.
Yes, that is true.
It's going to happen, it can happen.
It will happen if you continue to believe
and like, yes, Lord, I'm gonna partner
with the things of heaven and the truth
that you have for me.
And I can walk into the fullness of all of that.
It can be yours.
The word submission means to yield to the power of another.
To yield to the power of another.
Right now, I want you just, right now,
just think about it regarding God.
That's where we're gonna start first, okay?
So if you're yielding to the power of another,
you're actually letting go in the process
and learning how to trust God, okay?
So you're saying in that, you know,
we start you off in the beginning of heart work
with that supernatural surrender.
That's like, you know, week one,
letting go and surrendering the pen fully to the Lord.
And the reality is, is we come into this program
and we do our best to surrender that pen, don't we?
But then a little bit more every time,
Karen Roa knows, right?
She can attest to this.
Isn't there a deeper surrender
the further that you go into heart healing?
It's another layer of surrendering.
Well, I said that to Karen
because she's been hanging with me here,
doing an amazing job in the heart work.
And God's just been doing some awesome things in her life.
And, you know, sometimes, ladies,
it might take some of you a little longer than others,
and that's okay.
I don't want you to compare yourself to anybody else.
This is your process.
Whatever it is that you need, be here for it.
Okay?
If it takes some of you five weeks and that's it, cool.
That's great.
But I don't want anyone,
because I can tell even sometimes
when y'all give the updates, you're like,
I'm only in week two, I've been here forever.
And I get it, but hey, let's not do that, all right?
Let's be kind to yourself.
If you're struggling with distraction,
or this afternoon I was coaching someone,
and, you know, they're still struggling
just to do any of the work,
but yet they keep getting called
into all these different prayer calls and different things.
And that's amazing, y'all, it is.
But here's the reality.
Sometimes we avoid things
because there's this level of,
we have to face things within ourselves
that we might be afraid subconsciously to face.
And because of that,
we may not even know why we're avoiding something.
Okay, so avoidance is a self-protection mechanism.
So if you're avoiding or procrastinating doing the heart work
or every single little thing comes up,
you know, then you might wanna just ask the Lord,
is there a reason that I do this?
For some of you, you know,
you've been struggling with brain fog and hormonal things.
This is real stuff, okay?
Now, I don't want it to become excuses,
but I do feel like even though
we're talking about submission,
it's coming up in my spirit, so I'm talking about it.
I want you all to be kind to yourself.
I encourage you all to every day,
God, what's one thing I can do today in the heart work?
So for you today, it's read five pages in your book,
and that's all you can do.
That's better than nothing.
That's what I want you all to kind of grab onto.
If all you can do is watch one video today, awesome.
That's still moving forward.
So let's just partner with God.
What's one thing?
If you can do more than one thing, great.
But if you can't, just taking one step every day
is gonna help you keep momentum going and moving forward.
All right, so let's keep going.
The word submission means being willing to submit
to absolute and greater truth than what has happened
or is happening in our lives right now.
When we know the one that we are submitting to
and trust them, it can help us choose to submit to them.
I'm gonna say that again.
When we know, K-N-O-W, the one we are submitting to
and trust them, it can help us choose to submit to them.
So let's talk about this regarding God.
If you don't know God's character,
it's gonna be harder to trust him, correct?
Which is then going to impact your ability
to submit to him.
When he's asking you to obey something
or he's saying, hey, daughter,
don't go into that relationship.
That guy's, there's red flags.
Like, hey, this isn't healthy.
And then we keep going.
It's because we're actually not trusting God in that moment.
We're trusting our own flesh or mindset, or we're getting into fear and being afraid,
oh, if I don't date this guy, there might not be anybody else.
There's all kinds of fears that surface that lead us to make these unhealthy choices.
Now let's, let's relate this to a man.
Let's give two examples, an unhealthy person and a healthy person.
I've lived this out, so I can tell you from experience as well.
In my past, my ex-husband and even my spiritual daughter's dad, not healthy guys, abusive,
very like controlling, very manipulative, went through all kinds of things.
So guess what?
I struggled to trust them, you all.
For good reason.
They showed me over and over and over again by their actions, not just, remember, we're
not listening to just words.
We want to see the actions of people's lives.
The fruit, we want to look for the fruit.
We want to be fruit inspectors, not judges, fruit inspectors.
And so I struggled to submit to my ex-husband because I couldn't trust him.
I'm not saying it makes it okay, but I'm saying the reality is that was hard to do.
Now I'm in this marriage where I genuinely can trust my husband.
Like I can literally give him my heart and trust him.
And I'm not making that up.
I genuinely know he has my best interest at heart and that he cares about me and that
he's thinking about me.
And so I have found that it's not hard to trust him, you all, or submit to him.
Who are we submitting to?
God?
Are we?
Are we really submitting?
Because here's another key.
I have found that being rooted in God's love and understanding his love more fully is what
has enabled me to submit to him.
If we're afraid to submit to God, we need to look at that.
Remember, perfect love casts out fear because fear has to do with torment.
So if we are fearing being able to submit to God or, you know, that struggle to trust,
well then that's showing us that there's some part of us that does not understand love,
which is who God is.
Do you see how this works, everyone?
It's really important.
Submission is not about someone dominating us, controlling us, manipulating us.
It's not about that.
Submission is a mutual respect and surrender towards each other.
So mutually respecting, mutually loving, respecting, coming together.
Okay?
A mutual thing.
You're a team.
That's what it's supposed to look like.
And a lot of churches in the past, at least from my experience, did not teach that way.
So I'm telling you, that is actually what the Bible says.
It is a mutual.
Now, yes, there is that scripture about, you know, husbands love your wives, wives respect
your husbands.
100% believe that.
But here's the reality.
That's what the love language is of the two different genders, okay?
Women need to feel loved.
Men desire respect.
But if I'm mutually giving him love and he's giving me love, guess what I'm going to automatically
be able to do?
I'm going to be able to respect him.
And if I respect him out of my love, he's going to automatically, that's going to reciprocate
that love and respect, that love and respect flowing.
I don't know why it became this thing where only, you know, the men love and the women
respect.
That's what your duty is.
There's even that book on it.
And I'm not saying the book is wrong.
That's out there.
People love that book.
I remember when I was in my, my abusive marriage, we were in this class and we were reading
that book.
And I felt like it was a chain around my neck because I'm like, how do, how am I supposed
to respect this person that's abusing me?
I remember thinking that.
And I was just like, I can't read this book.
Now other people love it.
And I think that's amazing.
And I might love it now today because I'm in a totally different place.
But if you've read that book and you're in an, you've been in an unhealthy relationship
and it literally caused you to go further into toxicity, I want you to understand it's
because that, that place you were in was not healthy.
And so God wants us to respect and love from this, the overflow, the overflow of what we're
experiencing with God, the overflow of the trust and what's built in that relationship.
All right.
So I want to share a little bit about this rebellion and the mother towards mothers.
I was telling the ladies this afternoon in particular, you know, I was thinking a lot
about this lesson today.
I don't always talk about the rebellion towards mothers, but God really was laying that on
my heart.
And I was thinking back about my relationship with my parents.
Both of my parents are now deceased.
My dad passed away earlier in 2025.
My mom passed away back in 2022.
I didn't really have any relationship with my dad, like at all.
And my mom, I had some kind of relationship.
That's how I'll say it.
Okay.
And I love her and I bless her.
I really believe that she did the best that she could with the information that she had.
I wished that she had been able to be set free in a lot greater ways.
Unfortunately, she did not.
And there was a lot of turbulence in our relationship because of it.
When I was a teenager, at one point, I've told this story in depth before, I won't tonight
just for time's sake, but she was upset with me about something.
And we were in this public environment.
We were in a parking lot.
And she blew up on me in this parking lot and basically unloaded on me that day that
they never wanted me.
That she would have been on birth control.
They got pregnant with me.
They never wanted me to begin with.
It was this whole big thing.
I'm sharing that with you because from that day on, it wasn't something I just chose like,
oh, I'm just going to rebel against my mom.
I did not have that thought.
But in my heart, that really wounded me deeply.
Like from that moment on, it was like, oh, no wonder I've always felt like an outsider.
And basically it confirmed things that, you know, I grew up believing.
My dad left you all when I was literally a newborn.
So long before that even happened, my mom never wanted me.
And y'all understand that if you are pregnant with a baby and you don't want that baby and
you think about how much you don't want that baby, it actually sends stuff to that baby
in the womb.
And that baby is born with the whole like spirits of rejection and roots of rejection.
That's real.
I've done reading on it.
That's why like I came to understand like, oh my gosh, this is why I battled this so
much years ago.
And so then when she said that stuff to me in the parking lot, it made it even deeper.
OK, because she she confirmed everything I had felt up to that point.
And so subconsciously, what happened from that day forward out of that brokenness, I
started becoming bitter towards my mom and my heart.
And I started rebelling in all different kinds of ways.
I never was like I was never like like a bad kid.
I don't want to say like I didn't go out and just raise hell, you all.
But like I started sneaking out and I didn't even really go do bad things.
We would go sit and hang out on the back street and talk and all the things.
But before that point, I really never did those things.
I started drinking.
I started smoking and just doing things that I had never done before.
And I really attribute it to the rebellion that started in my heart from the the the
pain and the bitterness and the resentment that set in there.
And then from that day forward, a lot of things changed.
My mom actually like she never came to me and apologized, but instead she started
becoming very jealous of my my relationship with my best friend's mom.
Well, my best my best friend's mom was nice to me.
So, of course, I gravitated towards her because my mom was not being nice to me in
a lot of ways.
And so I had to really go through a heart healing regarding the rebellion that came
inside of me, because what started the internal dialogue is you're not going to
tell me what to do.
That's kind of what I partnered with.
And you all for years, I didn't even realize that's how I was approaching God.
Like, I trust you, God, but you're not going to tell me what to do.
I've got this.
I can I can do this.
I can figure this out.
You know, my fixer upper ideas, all the things, even people that I was trying to
And I'm not saying I was out like literally saying to God, God, you're not going to
tell me what to do.
But there was this subconscious thing going on in me.
I didn't really trust him.
Because I couldn't trust my parents.
Do you all see the connection there?
And so for for those of you that are hearing this, you know, no matter what your
Even if you've had great parents, if you struggle with rebellion towards authority,
I want you to look at that.
Don't just continue to keep partnering with that.
If you're at work and you just like your boss asked you to do something and you have
this really flippant bad attitude.
Why are they trying to boss me around?
I'm not going to do what they're telling me to do.
You know, those kind of things.
Y'all, that's not God.
That's not good for us.
And so we need to really ask the Lord to reveal those areas for healing.
Where is that coming from?
What is the root of that rebellion?
You know, the Bible relates rebellion to witchcraft, and I know we don't want to,
I'm not going to go too far into that, but I want you to understand the severity of it.
Okay.
God wants to invite us to come out of rebellious attitudes and mindsets
towards him, towards other people.
And Hey, even towards ourselves.
Revelation 3, 20 says, behold, I stand at the door and knock.
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him
and eat with him and he with me.
Sounds pretty intimate, right?
God is saying he's going to stand at the door and knock.
And I think he's even doing it tonight.
He's knocking on the door of your heart and he's saying, Hey, if you hear my
voice and you open the door to me, I'm going to come in and I'm going to eat
with you and you're going to eat with me.
And to me, I'm, I just equate that to, we're going to have a conversation and
it's going to be kind and loving ladies.
It's not going to be God pounding on you, telling you how bad you are.
He might convict you and might say, Hey, you're better than this.
I have more for you than this.
But if you hear voices of shame, guilt, and condemnation, that is from the enemy.
And remember that shame is a spirit.
Okay.
The enemy assaults us with shame and guilt and condemnation, and
he's sending it through his spirit.
But that is not God's heart for you and your healing process.
We encourage you to yield to God.
And remember, he will not force his way on you.
He's standing at the door and he's asking permission to enter and you get to give
him the opportunity to come in and you get to choose to surrender and submit and let go.
Job 22, 21 in the NLT version says this, submit to God and you will have peace.
Then things will go well with you.
Job 22, 21 NLT version, submit to God and you will have peace.
Then things will go well with you.
The peace here in this scripture actually is to be in a covenant of peace for God.
He's saying, I'm going to complete my peace in you.
I'm going to finish it.
I'm going to make you whole and good in the peace.
And then things are going to go well with you.
I know like literally the moments in times where I've shifted in a greater revelation
of his peace in my life and who he is as peace, like the waves of just the change
that it brings, and I want you to understand how important covenant is to the Lord.
Like covenant is everything.
I mean, Jesus came and created a covenant with us.
It's powerful.
It's binding.
Proverbs three, verse five in the message translation says this, trust God from the
bottom of your heart.
Don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice and everything that you do, everywhere that you go, he's the
one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
So where do you need to surrender to him today and tonight in your thoughts and, and
your choices, you're trying to figure it out on your own.
And God's just saying, Hey, trust me from the bottom of your heart.
Give me everything y'all.
He writes better stories than we could ever write.
Your love story will be better than you could ever ask, think, or imagine if you
will just surrender it fully to him.
And here's the thing, as I was saying a little bit earlier, you're going to find
that as you go, there might be a little bit more that God's asking you to surrender.
And again, if you start to feel fear, like I can't do this, I can't surrender this.
I can't submit to God.
Again, remember fear is false evidence appearing real.
Fear has to do with torment, perfect love, cast out fear.
So how do we get rid of fear?
We grow in the understanding of God's love and who he is as love to us and for us and
in us. And then we partner with faith because the opposite of faith is fear.
Right. So we partner with God, I trust you.
I trust that you love me and you have good plans for me.
Jeremiah 29, 11, if you go into the additional verses there, it talks about, you
know, he doesn't he doesn't have harm and destruction for us.
He has good plans.
He's a good, good father.
That's who he is.
You know, we sing these songs all the time, but so often we don't really believe what
we're singing. And so, again, I don't want you to feel shame, sing it, sing it loud and
proud. But if you don't really believe it, ask him to give you a deeper revelation of
it. One of the ladies, Lisa.
I was on this afternoon, not Lisa Mendrix, a different Lisa, and she was asking how just
something that I said, I don't even remember how I said it, and it really stood out to
her.
Um, I must have been talking, it's something God was saying to me when I was on my Austin
trip and I don't have time to go into it tonight, but just y'all, it just makes me so happy
sometimes the way God talks to me and he talks to you all too.
And you'll learn more and more of the ways that he talks to you in the days to come.
If you don't already recognize that, but it was just such a fun thing and I was talking
to them about it and I just felt so happy.
And she commented like, how do you get to that place?
And so I want to encourage you all, this was my answer to her.
I said, time, number one is time, but you know what?
It also was, I chose to seek that out in particular.
Like I have prayed a lot into God.
Show me who you are as Abba, daddy, good father, the one that I have access to anytime
I want.
His door is always open to me and it's always open to you too, but it's whether or not we
believe that, but that is who he is.
And it took me a while because I didn't experience that with my dad or my mom.
And so I had to gain revelation and insight through books, through other people, through
healing and in courses like this to gain insight from heaven on, on that, those aspects of
who God is.
And so if that's something that you're not sure about, and even if you've had an amazing
dad, if you, if you don't have that kind of closeness with the Lord, he wants that with
you and he would love for you to seek that out with him.
So I want to encourage you to do that if that's you.
All right.
I'm going to give you guys your breakout session question, and then I'm going to read something
over you before you go into breakout.
And your question tonight is, do you struggle with submission and why?
Do you struggle with submission and why?
So I want to encourage you just, um, if you are comfortable, close your eyes.
Let me read this over you.
If you don't want to close your eyes, that's totally fine, but I just feel like being a
contemplative place is kind of the key.
All right, here we go.
And this is the submission activation that is in your heart work book in chapter three,
just so you know what I'm reading to you.
Father God, I give you permission to search me and to reveal anything in my heart that
does not belong to my true identity and that is hindering me from living the life you created
me to live.
Holy Spirit, I invite you into the darkest places in my heart.
Show me the areas that are still wounded and are still hurting.
When you reveal these broken places to me, I covenant with you to release them into your
care and to respond with forgiveness and repentance.
I set aside this season of my life for a time of healing and wholeness and ask Holy Spirit
to take charge of this process.
I ask that you dwell with me and in me, I need you.
I cannot heal myself.
I want to be free from the past, free to be who I truly am.
Help me to become who you have created me to be.
Show me the lies I've believed about myself, my life, my surroundings, and even the lies
I've believed about you, God.
Teach me the greater truth.
Teach me your ways.
Teach me how to think and how to live abundantly.
Teach me, show me, heal me, grow me.
And Jesus name we all said, amen, amen, amen.
May the Lord give that to you in greater ways in the days to come.
Okay, here's your question again.
Do you struggle with submission and why?
Let me get these breakouts ready.
And that's okay for those of you that can't join.
I will move people around if I need to.
Y'all can hang out in here.
All right, there you go.
That's up on the screen for you.
I'm giving you all seven minutes, okay?
Again, try to click those as quick as you can.
Everyone's situated.
Oh, there we go.
13.
Okay, Father, thank you so much.
much for everything that you're doing. Thank you, God, for the
conversations that are happening right now. And even those that
are here in the main room, those that will be watching the
replay, God, we thank you that you would just reveal areas for
healing and greater measures, God, that you would just give
them the insight that they need. And that you would just bring
things to the surface, Lord, that that which they have not
realized in the past, help them to see what they haven't been
able to see before the areas where they have been stuck or
held back. Thank you for truth and revelation and hope in life.
We thank you, God, for helping them to receive the fullness of
your presence in every area of their lives. Kelsey, are you
just joining us? Or did you get booted out of a room? I see you
in a room some maybe you didn't have anybody join you.
All right, I'm just going to try to put you both of your things
into a different room. And let's see what happens here. All
right. So Father, we just thank you so much that your word says
in Proverbs 1312, unrelenting disappointment leaves you
heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around. So
Lord, I'm asking for sudden good breaks and, and all of these
ladies lives that you would. Yes, Lord, just come and work
supernaturally and all of their Jesus cares boards that you
would help them to hear what your spirit is saying to them,
help them to see all the ways that you're working even right
now in ways that they can't even recognize it. But Lord, help
them to wake up and see those things more and more in the days
to come. Leslie, did you get kicked out of a breakout? You're
My phone went dead.
Oh, that's okay. That's okay. Let me were you in a breakout
room before? Oh, yeah. What room it was? No. Let me see if I can
find somebody that's by themselves. They're not but I
can just put you in a different room. That's fine. All right,
there you go. Thank you. You're welcome. So where we just thank
you, even as I was talking about earlier, for the goodness of God
that we would experience that in the land of the living. We thank
you for vitality and long life, God that even our ladies that
might be a little older in our community, God, I thank you that
you're not finished with them yet, that you have an amazing
story for them that you're writing. And I thank you God for
their spirit make connections that will come in the days after
they're finished with artwork. We thank you Lord for reminding
us today, through James four, seven, so then surrender to God
stand up to the devil and resist him and he will turn and run
away from you. So Lord, I thank you that as we resist the devil
that he has to flee from us. And it reminds me ladies, even of
yesterday, I was teaching in our toddler class for church. And we
were just teaching them the simple principle of stopping and
praying. It was about self control. And it was such a sweet
little lesson. And so I print out these little stop signs. And
that was one of the things that I had cut out for them to like
it's little two year olds to six year olds. So you can't have a
very hard craft. But the reason I'm mentioning this to you all
is because, you know, just teaching them what a stop sign
means. So we played red light, green light, and I taught them I
you a couple of little cards that we're talking about healthy
choices and not healthy choices. And you all sometimes we make it
so hard, but it really is that simple, like really stopping and
praying before we make decisions and partnering with what is the
healthy choice? What's the good choice? What's the not good
choice and that then us choosing the good thing. And so Lord, we
just thank you that you'll give us wisdom, discernment, and the
choices. Jeremiah 17, nine through 10. And the message
version says this, the heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a
puzzle that no one can figure out. But I God search the heart
and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human I get to
the root of things. I treat them as they really are. Not as they
pretend to be. It's not great. God treats us as we really are
in the person that he created in our core. So last week, we talked
about, you know, God help us to see the gold in other people.
Well, God looks at us and he sees, yes, he sees the sin that
we commit, but he sees all the good. And he really treats us in
in those places and ways. And he is calling that forth more and
more and more. And but I also want this scripture to encourage
you when we don't know the answer when we feel like that
puzzle, or we need these dots connected, we can trust that God
is the one that can search everything in us, our, our
and he can bring all those things out of darkness into the
light for revealing for healing. So even if you haven't gotten
that answer yet, ladies on things you've been you've been
seeking him about, just know that that is on its way. And he
has heard
you and he is responding to you. Proverbs 4.23 in the Passion Translation says this,
So above all, guard the affections of your heart, for they affect all that you are. Pay
attention to the welfare of your innermost being, for from there flows the wellspring
of life. Yes, Lord, thank you so much for helping us protect our hearts to guard and
keep watch over them. We thank you, God, that you will help us. Yes, Lord, even tonight
that you would send your ministering angels to all of these ladies, that you would just
hover over them even as they're sleeping and minister your healing grace, your healing
oil, that it would flow down from heaven over them, over their minds, their hearts, their
bodies, their spirits and souls. And Lord, even where we felt like we haven't been able
to break free from the past, I thank you that a breaker anointing is coming over our lives
and the spirit of freedom and truth is ringing. And yes, Lord, I hear the ring of liberty
in the spirit. And so I want to encourage you all to partner with that in the days to
come that where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty, there is freedom and there's
freedom for all the captives. And so any part of our lives where we've been captive in the
past that God, even if it's been a battle, we've just felt like we couldn't, no matter
what, we could not break free. We could not break free. We could not break free. God is
saying the time of breakthrough is upon you and you are going to break free like never
before. And not only that, but you're going to be able to turn around and help other people
know how to step into freedom. Praise the Lord for that. This, the liberty bell is ringing.
I love that in the spirit realm. And so I want to encourage you all to partner with
that as you're coming back. I'm going to say it for the ladies, for those that have been
here with me for a few minutes, you just heard it bigger. You're going to hear it again while
you all were in there praying, reading scripture. And one of the things I heard in the spirit
is this, the liberty bell is ringing. Okay. I want you all to receive that. Sorry. I got
to mute some people here. The liberty bell is ringing over your life. So if you've had
an area where you have just felt like you've tried everything you knew to do to break free
and you haven't been able to break free in the past before that time is over, there's
this breaker anointing and it's always there. But I just feel, I just felt like in the spirit
to declare that out over you. And the truth is, you know, the spirit of where the spirit
of the Lord is, there is freedom, there's liberty for captives. And so we're just, Lord,
we're partnering tonight with a supernatural move of the spirit tonight, bringing breakthrough
and freedom in places we have not had it in the past in Jesus name. Love that. God is
so good. You all, I'm going to give you your activations for this week really quickly.
And then we'll do our group coaching time where you all can share something that you
shared in the breakout. If y'all have, I would love for them to be about submission.
If you have struggles with submission, or even some of you might not have struggles
with submission and you can encourage your sisters with why that's not a struggle with
you. So just know you can share along those lines. If there's some other area where you're
just have a, an area where you're having a hard time getting breakthrough in a heart
healing area, you know, you can have questions or talk about that and we can work through
that together. All right. Activation number one, there's two for this week. I want to,
I call it start with vertical submission. Okay. So even for those of you that are in
your fifth week or, you know, further or whatever, um, I really want to encourage you to go ahead
and go do this again, but it's about surrendering to God. That's who we surrender to first and
foremost, and then we submit to him. So I want to encourage you to get out that permission
slip, even if you've already filled it out again this week and, and start praying it
daily over yourself out loud, hang it up where you can see it to remind yourself to
do it and really partner with what it's saying as you are surrendering and submitting to
his process. And then activation number two is our roots and fruits drawing. I love these.
These are always so powerful. Um, and so let me, I forgot to flip this forward. Sorry.
I got to do this real quick. Y'all. Okay. So I'm just going to show these to you as
quickly as I can. Y'all don't have to be artists. Okay. These can be very simple, but
I just, I'm going to show you a couple different ones, the roots and fruits. So basically it's
on the concept and the premise of the roots in our lives lead to the fruit in our lives.
So if we have unhealthy roots that are tied to lies that we believe it's going to produce
unhealthy fruit. Um, and there's a whole list of them, of them in the heartwork book. You
guys can look for that. I talk about that a little bit deeper in additional sessions,
but you want to just start to pray and identify what are the unhealthy roots in your life tied
to lies that are producing unhealthy fruit? What are the healthy roots that are producing healthy
fruit? We want you to look at both. This is just one example. And, and one of the things I want to
show you here is she really focused on, let me make this bigger for a second. She really focused
on the lies that were connected. So fear of lies.
Rejection. Lies that she heard were, you are inconvenient. Hide
out behind the scenes, you're leftover, you're extra, the most
you'll ever be is extended family. So she did a lot of
avoidance behavior. Shy. Do you all know that you are shy is a
lie? It is. It comes from fragmentation and brokenness.
That's what causes people to go into hiding and shyness. Another
lie too weird, quirky to be accepted. Low maintenance. Okay,
she had to be low maintenance. That was just one fear of
rejection route that tied to all of those lies she believes. Okay,
I'm going to keep going for time's sake. So this one, this
was a teacher. So that's why it's a little more like the
board and all the things you don't have to do all this, but I
just love to show this. She had kind of three main categories
that she focused on childhood perfectionism, childhood
abandonment and childhood reject rejection. And then that
led into adult of the same things, but she wrote the lies
and things that were connected to that for her. Her core
belief was I am not worthy. So then at the fruit, she's
starting to believe I am worthy. And so she wrote that really
big. She wrote, I will find my husband, you know, so you guys
can kind of see it there. Again, you don't have to do it like
that at all. But I'm just giving you examples. This one is simple
and beautiful. Great. If you want to do it like this, this is
awesome. So at the bottom are her her roots leading up to the
fruits. The ones that have leaves and a little bit of color
on them are the healthy ones. You guys can see that there. So
fear of man led to confusion, stuck, crippled living in a
smaller world. So I think she was talking about like mindsets
and things like that. unhealthy efficiency, what the fruit that
was showing up in her life always distracted, struggled
with a lot of distraction. So again, just giving you guys
examples. Here's one that was created on a computer totally
fine. However, you all want to do this. I always say this, the
key is getting it done. The key is getting it out on the paper,
processing it with the Lord. I'm never going to be like, you
didn't do this, right? I'm never going to say that to you. Okay,
this is your process. Just let it be whatever it is. Here's
another one on a computer. The the roots inherited behavioral
patterns feeling invisible, unheard in her childhood and
self deception leads up to the fruits complaining and
comparing resentment and bitterness, hopelessness,
despair, low self esteem, y'all can see the positive ones on the
other side and notice she has some green on that side. So
that's showing life and good things there. This last one,
this lady was an artist. So don't get intimidated. I just
want to show it to you because I love the depiction of what she
did here. The unhealthy roots and fruit are in the kind of the
black and gray kind of dark the brown. The healthy roots and
fruit are the ones that look orange and gold. And then she
brought the Holy Spirit into it here. And I just love that
concept. And so just wanted to show that to you all. The Holy
Spirit is the one that can transform us in any of these
processes. If you have more questions, you can post those in
the comments when I put the activation up. But I'll explain
it in a little more detail when I post the activation in the
the announcements tab for you. Okay. Alright, so let's go ahead
and start with Karen. I saw your hand went up first would love to
hear what you have to say.
Hey, thanks for calling me out tonight.
Hi. I love the glasses to looks cool.
Oh, yeah, blue light blocking. Um, I'm actually graduating to
phase two. Way to go. After a year y'all I know some of you
have been putting the comments like I've been here for nine
months. No, don't feel bad. God has his timing. He does. So
thank you for all your coaching. It's been amazing. And this is
so interesting. This is the first time that the authority
submission question has actually brought something to my mind.
Okay, because it's always been like, I had a great dad. I've
always been fine with submission or authority or submission
because I've never been rebellious. But I'm in a job
now that is poking at some like, deep stuff.
Okay, tell me about that.
Um, well, I posted out the voice. And it's interesting. I
think that ties in with what came to my mind, we were
talking tonight about submission is going to a very legalistic
high school. And the mindset there was very much like
respect men, women are to submit. And pretty much women's
role is to be a wife and mom and nothing else. So when my life
doesn't turn out that way, there's a lot of layers for
But it's interesting that that came up, because I'm now
working in an environment of like 100 employees, 90 of them
are, well, eight women and 92 men, and I'm the only woman in
my building. And they're all great people.
but I am finding myself being a little bit like the male-female dynamic coming into my head a lot of
Do they even hear me? Do they even see me?
and when
Managers to managers particular keeps putting on like
Quotas or goals that weren't part of my interview. I feel it's like that's not what I signed up for
That's not what I'm supposed to be doing. That's not who God made me. I don't want to
Like I get a little burn my saddle of I don't want to do that. That's not
That's and then I it's been an interesting experience. Are you trying to stretch me God?
I just need to be willing to be stretched or is this truly like a square peg in a round hole and
so daily I
just am
Asking the Lord to help me
Be who I am within the constraints of the job because I think it is good to grow and stretch
But it is really poking at like even a week ago. I said to my parents. I'm beginning to hate men and that's not healthy
Mm-hmm, and I had that come up before
Yes, so tell me when when something has happened. What is the lie that you're hearing?
I mentioned about your boys. They don't see me. Yeah
My voice doesn't matter. They don't see me
and it's all the same feelings that I can now recognize that I had in high school with I
Had majority male teachers. Yeah, and again nice men, but it's just in this construct this overly religious
legalistic construct
Have you forgiven any?
Situations from high school that have come up where the men in authority you felt like kind of under their thumb or not
Have you already done that part? I did a sheet. Yeah for the teachers male teachers
Okay, so if any additional stuff comes up as this is getting poked at in your job
I want to encourage you just to go back and revisit that and just ask the Lord
Is there anything else because it's coming up again tonight that it feels like it's linking there
You know, it might even be
You know, I talked about the spirit of shame. Yeah, I'm just wondering if you kind of said something that was really key
When you're told that a woman's role is to be a wife and a mom and nothing else and then that doesn't happen
There's a lot of inferiority complex that comes into play there. Okay, there's a lot of people that walk in shame
when they can't
Fulfill that that one role they're supposed to have right and so
You know, I was talking earlier about
People conveying messages
like as
If it's from the Lord, that's actually a misconception and they may or may not have been, you know Christian
I'm not sure if it was a Christian school or not. Yeah
You know, even the fact that that is what was conveyed that isn't God's only role for women and never was in the Bible
I mean there were women preachers in the Bible and evangelist and right, you know
So but a lot of people don't see that and don't look at that
Um, and there's a lot of emphasis and not that it's bad if someone wants to be just a wife and a mom
That's amazing, right?
But it's okay for us to understand that we have giftings and abilities that God wants to use in us as well
We're more than a wife and a mom we should you know
like really looking at where do we get our identity from you know is coming to mind as well Karen and just
Like making sure that those labels that were given during that time
Aren't still driving
Low self-worth on some level
So that makes no I'm just saying that popped in my head when you just said that I had a teacher that would call me
the quiet student
okay, so
Why did they call he was my favorite teacher
He was my favorite all of them
Because I would sit in the back of the class and do my homework and not ask questions and just be quiet
So why would you sit in the back of the class?
He did his seating chart according to grades
The top grades got in the back of the class and the lower grades got in the front. Okay?
Okay, so it wasn't a negative thing
Like choosing to sit there because you didn't feel like you fit in or anything like that. He assigned him. Okay
and
Were other students quiet, too
I mean if you talked you get in trouble so but as far as like a hiding quiet
I don't know. Maybe I mean, I just think it's interesting
Did he call other students the quiet student or just you know, just me. Yeah
So let's let's pray into that a little bit because I actually don't think that is your identity at all Karen
I think that even you're seeing
more and more like you're pretty vocal this week. Yes, you're vocal, you're coming alive, you're,
you know, going dancing, you're doing, you know, and not that people that are quiet can't go do
those things, but I just don't think that's your identity. And so the fact that that came up
tonight, and even if he was a great teacher, I think really coming out of alignment and saying,
Hey, no, I'm not the quiet student. I'm actually, you know, I have things to say that matter,
even if I'm not speaking them out all the time. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Because that
that seems like it's partnering with some of the things that you're encountering at work, too.
Very much so. Yeah. And so let's, let's be praying into that really ask the Lord,
if there's anybody left to forgive from the school, and then coming out of alignment with
the quiet student declaration over you. And just ask the Lord, is there anything else that he's
to show you regarding your time in school there. And even though the work is kind of the issue
right now, you know, a lot of times it's these other things that are still underneath the surface,
you know, kind of brewing under there. We just don't see them. And not that there's not things
at work. There are, it sounds like, but I feel like the, the more freedom that you get regarding
that other dynamic, the more you're going to be able to stand in your confidence here. And,
it is okay for you to be praying like, God, is this where you have me long-term?
Right. What's interesting is I just changed jobs in July. Okay. And there was a lot of
answers to prayer in that. Okay. Interesting. But I want to be there. I don't want to be anywhere
working long-term. That's never a career has never been my desire. Okay. Well, and when I
mean long-term, I just mean a couple of years or whatever that looks like for you. Everybody's
different, but okay. So then we need to also consider here, if this was an answer to prayer,
the enemy is trying to kind of assault you pretty quickly there. Oh yeah. My, my office flooded
three times in the last week. I was like, well, that's interesting. Very interesting. Okay. That's
very intriguing to me too, Karen. So, and like multiple managers have quit since I started,
like, I feel like this company is under attack and the leaders are believers. So I just have
been praying over them. Okay. So maybe you are bringing the light there and not that they're
not light too, but maybe God has brought you there for a purpose that you'll, it will continue to be
unveiled for you in the days ahead. Awesome. All right. Well, keep us posted on that. Even though
you're going in phase two, I'll, I see things in phase two and the other phases. So definitely
keep us updated on how that's going. Okay. And congratulations. It's amazing. Thank you so much.
You're welcome. Chrissy. I can't remember. I'm going to call you Chrissy D.
So most, most people do. So when you started off this evening and started talking about submission,
I was like, great, let's talk about submission. But when you said rebellion towards your mother,
I was like, oh, there we go. And during the breakout room, I brought that up and I was like,
yeah, it was like, I think two years ago, I realized that I grew up subconsciously
and I put my grandmother in my mother role because my father passed away when I was a little girl.
I was nine. My mother was 30 and left with two children alone. So my grandparents moved in
and I grew up with my grandmother, basically, and my grandfather and kind of put my mother to the
side also because, you know, she was going, she was grieving as well. So it was a little weird
for all of us. But I knew that. And so I was like, OK, well, let's deal with that. Let's forgive
grandma for that. But then needing to ask for forgiveness for the way I treated my mother
after that, because finally when she did pass away, I was like 16 ish. And my mother kind of
and I was like, who are you to speak to me that way? Who are you to tell me not to do something?
And I was like, no. And so when I was telling her that in the side room, I realized that
I correct my mother a lot. And it's not kind.
And I've probably about the past two years realized that I do it in a way where
I like, I feel big afterwards. That makes sense. And kind of
like, proud of myself for standing up for myself, but it
doesn't make me feel good that I just put my mother down. Like,
you know, does that make sense?
Yeah, the Holy Spirit is convicting you. That's what's
happening. You know, you're you're sensing like, um, and I'm
saying it's always easy, you all but you know, the commandment
to honor our mother and father and and it will go well with us
is is really important to one of the things before you even said
about the feeling bigger than I heard the Lord say to ask you,
do you think you're better than your mom? Like in your heart,
you know, when you're in situations like, you know,
we really need to look at how like, do we think we're better
than other people? Do we think we're better than our mom? Like
if we have a bad relationship, and, you know, especially it's
tough when they, they've not made good choices at some point,
and that's impacted us and we get disrespect in our heart
towards them. And, and that comes from bitterness, it comes
from brokenness, you know. And so we need to go into the little
girl part of our heart, Chrissy, and and ask the Lord to reveal
the pain that needs healed there. Because I'm sure that
was hard for you when you were little, and your mom wasn't
capable or willing at that time, due to the grief to be your mom,
you know, where someone else had to step in. And so little
Chrissy might need some love this week. Okay. And in that
that you would forgive your mom for abandoning you a little bit.
You know, I mean, that's, again, even though they they are in a
place where they may or may not have been able to help it, it
still doesn't mean we're not going to feel these things and
experience, you know, the enemy lying to us that they don't care
about us. And if they did, they would just snap out of it. You
know, I mean, these are the kind of things that I can remember,
not that it's the same, but like, man, I wanted my mom to
get out of bed. I'm like, just get up already. And I can
remember like, at one point, and when I was younger, it was
like, Oh, mommy, get up. And I would take her these trays, and
have little flowers. And I would try to cheer her up. But y'all,
that got old. You know, like, get out of bed already. And you
know, I've had to even watch myself, like when other people
because I'm an early riser, I don't really sleep in a lot. And
so when other people can sleep in, and they stay in bed, I
don't like it. I'm not mean, y'all. But just like, I feel
this, like, sometimes it's not all the time. But sometimes I'm
like, really, you're still sleeping. Does that make sense?
But that comes from that stuff with my mom. And so I have to
check that and make sure that doesn't come out in my heart
with other people, because they're not her. Just because
they're sleeping in a little bit. My mom slept in a long
time, y'all. She didn't someday she didn't get out of her bed
at all. She'd stay up in her room and never come down. And I
was little. And so I had to forgive her and really work on
that. And so I'm so thankful that you shared that, Chrissy,
because I think there's a lot of people that struggle with this
kind of stuff, correcting parents. And you know, I'll say
this too, like my mom, when I was 20, had a brain aneurysm,
thankfully survived, but it was a very long road after that. And
she had some brain issues and memory. And there were times
that even she claimed that she didn't remember things that she
did. And sometimes y'all I'm like, okay, is this real? Are
you just saying you didn't remember? I can remember just
being really like, okay, like, are you just saying that, like,
because you don't want to own this, you know, those kind of
thoughts that I had, and I had to really check that in my heart
to, but I'm saying that to say, there were times that it was
hard for me, because I felt like she never really owned things.
Does that make sense? And I don't know if you guys are like
me, but I want that apology from people when they do something
that hurts me, I want that apology. And there's nothing
wrong with that. But sometimes we can lord that over people and
resent them if they don't, you know, give us that apology or
whatever it is that we think we need to bring resolve in that.
And so just releasing your mom in whatever, like whatever way
that looks like for you in this next week, releasing her fully
to the Lord. And knowing that
You're imperfect. And so is she. Right. And sometimes when we inflate ourself and we feel
bigger than someone else, it's because we actually feel like we are, we are better than
them and that we don't make mistakes like they do, which isn't maybe we don't make the
same mistakes, but we do make mistakes. Don't we? Right. Yeah. And so I'll be praying for
you about that. Cause I know that can be tricky, but I'm so glad that you are seeing this
and recognize it, recognizing it tonight. And I think that's an amazing start, Chrissy.
Thank you. I will need that prayer because I moved in with them and the Lord was meeting
leading that. So I, I know that there's, this is the first time I live under one roof with
two parents since I was seven by myself, there's no other siblings, there's no grandchildren,
there's no pets, there's no distractions. It's just me and a mom and a dad. And wow.
So maybe in the middle of all that, maybe God is doing some redemption here to Chrissy
and it might not look exactly how you think, and that's okay, but just trust the Lord.
I definitely would put this up on your Jesus cares board if you haven't already. Okay.
And be specific. And if you need to fold them up and put them inside of a box, so your parents
can't see it, cause they're adults, if they come in your room, you know, just do whatever
or put tuck it in a thing, but you know, where you see that often and that you're just, you
know, knowing that even though you're putting it in a, in the book, you are putting that
on the board in your spirit. Does that make sense? Yeah. Awesome. Well, keep us posted
on how that goes. And just even this week, as you forgive her and really partner with
like, Lord, help me to see myself through your eyes and help me to see her through your
eyes. Yeah. So good. You're welcome. Thank you. Nari, go ahead.
Hi. Hi. Um, I was like fighting the urge to lower my hand and not speak. I'm lately been
having this urge to just withdraw completely. So I just wanted to say that upfront and it's
been hard, but I'm fighting through it. And I'm like, no, I'm just going to speak up because
I already made the decision. So I wanted to say that I, I do still like, this was a
question that I heard in a previous heart work live session that we had. And this time
it brought up something different for me. So I, my answer then, this is what I said
to the ladies in the room. My answer then is the same. Now I still very much struggle
with submission and more specifically, initially it was around, and it still is to some degree
is that I have this difficulty seeing, um, God other than the ways that you said, God
is not, which is like condemnation, shame and guilt, which are things that I feel a
lot. So I struggle with that because growing up in church, that's kind of what I internalized
in the church through my experiences and also not having healthy male figures in my life.
So that plays a lot into that. So I really have a hard time trusting God and I find I
can inch myself towards trusting him a little bit. And then I feel like my type A personality
kicks in and then I have to feel like I'm doing everything to try to control the outcome
of my life. And that's just through hyper functioning, high productivity, all of those
things. And also when you talked about, um, rebellious spirit, I honestly realize now
that I think I do have a little bit of that in me because when I was 14, there was conflict
in the home. My parents were potentially going to be separating. And during that time is
when I noticed I started doing things I never used to do. So I started going out, I drank
for the first time. Like I just did things that I never did before. And even though I
my mom, like I didn't feel love and I didn't feel like the warmth or the tenderness, tenderness,
like all the things that you want to feel in a family, I'd never felt that. So whenever
faith was talked about in my home, I felt really angry towards it. And I just was like,
really resentful.
disting it. So I get into arguments with my mom about it,
because she would say things around, like, you need to have
faith, or, you know, just these conversations that made me feel,
again, really angry, shameful, and guilt. And it was very much
around, like, what would happen if you didn't follow faith. And
so, um, I, I don't know, that's just where I'm at right now. I
guess I'll just stop there.
Well, first, I just want to say thank you for staying with your
hand up and speaking, because I think that's really awesome. And
I love that you're leaning towards community instead of
leaning towards the withdrawal, even though you're feeling that
that need to do it. I do think it's really important that as
you move forward, and there's there's no perfection of this,
okay, so I want you to hear that it's really, really important,
you don't have to be perfect in walking this out. But where
you're praying and asking the Lord to show you warmth and
tenderness. And, you know, the lies that you're believing that
leads you to think that he is a God that's guilting you,
condemning you, shaming you. And, you know, those religious
mindsets that really sound like they took root pretty deep, you
know, and are really, really, really, really, really, really
deep into their own lives. And so I just want to encourage you
to do that. Because God is a warm and tender and loving God.
But it can be tough to understand that and relate to
that when we haven't experienced that with our parents. But I
absolutely believe that God can bring supernatural spiritual
parents into your life, so to speak, not that there'll be
supernatural parents. And that can start to bring some healing
to that area. And it can happen even without them. But I do
believe God wants to show that to you in this next season. And
I just want to encourage you to be praying into that. That what
you have known in the past is God like wants to heal those the
wounds that lead to those mindsets. Does that make sense?
Yeah. And then, um, you know, make sure that you're doing
forgiveness prayer sheets towards yourself for anything
like even when you rebelled and drank. If you've never forgiven
yourself for that through one of our forgiveness prayer sheets,
even if you did forgive yourself in the past, I would encourage
you to because that came up tonight, go ahead and do a
forgiveness prayer sheet. And forgive yourself for that.
Forgive yourself for, you know, anything else regarding rebelling
against mom or dad. But also that I'm just hearing the Lord
say forgiving your parents for not not being able to show you
the affection that you needed. Yeah. And let's just start there
for this week. Okay. I know that's several things, but I
really feel like in the next few weeks, God wants to show you a
different version of himself through that tenderness and care
and it'll go beyond the next couple weeks. But I think that
that shift is coming for you.
And I thought I had forgiven them. And I do feel that I have
to some degree. Yeah. But even when you said that it made me a
bit emotional. So
yeah, and it's normal. Like, remember that forgiveness
happens in layers, ladies, and so does healing. And you got a
little more vulnerable tonight, then. I mean, you've been
vulnerable in the group before, but even in your post, you know,
but talking about it out loud, like shifts it up a little bit,
kind of brings it up another level, if you will. And so, you
know, God sees you. And, you know, even when I was saying
earlier, the things that broke us and break our hearts, it
breaks his heart. You know, he wants you to feel his warmth and
his tenderness and his love, that, you know, you know, Jesus
went into the depths, he would go into the depths with us to be
with us to, you know, help us to experience him. And so that's
that is the God that we serve that like pursues us with loving
kindness, not with the battering ram, not to beat us up, you
know, and shame and guilt and condemnation is from the enemy.
So just continuing to remind yourself, okay, if I'm feeling
shame, or guilt or condemnation, that is from the enemy.
Conviction is from the Lord, there's a difference.
I never thought about it that way. Yeah.
And so if we feel convicted for sin, or even like how Chrissy
was sharing, like she was saying, I feel like, Oh, God
showing me like I, how does she say that I realize I've been
correcting my mom a lot. Well, that's conviction happening
there. Right. And so as soon as we can start to discern the
difference between conviction and the condemnation and guilt
and shame, then we start to Oh, wait a minute, this is the enemy
talking to me right now, versus God. So just even starting to
discern that for yourself is going to be a game changer.
Yeah, I think I take a little while and that's okay. Just so
you know,
yeah. Okay, that's helpful. Thank you.
You're welcome. It took me a while to come out of religious
mindsets that I had been under. And I wasn't even raised in a
like, my mom, you know, took me to church some, my grandparents
took me to church some, but it was not all the time. I picked
that up more after I gave my life to Christ, because I was so
broken. I like wanted to be perfect. And, and I just like
tried to do everything that they said. And I thought everything
they said was gospel truth, like, and I think that to some
degree, there was a lot of good, but there was a lot of
religious things that I picked up there, too. And yeah, so then
God sent me to this revival in Toronto. And there was the
conference called the party is here. And it was a Holy Spirit
party. And that's how God started getting me out of that
religion. He sent me to and when I say he sent me like, I felt
led a friend invited me and it was the best thing I ever did.
But when I came back to my church, and I was full of all
this fun, y'all. There are people that were like, tame it
down, tame it down. You're too, this is too fun. Like literally,
like they were just didn't know how to handle the funness side
of of who God is. And so, you know, I laugh at it now, but it
was hard. It was hard back then. But little by little, he kept
giving me these, you know, books that he would lead me to or
conferences that dealt more with the freedom and the joy and who
he is. And, you know, yeah, of course, he's my daddy convicts
me when I do something because he loves me. He doesn't want me
to make bad choices, and things that do things that will hurt
me. But he's super fun. And, you know, he talks to me in fun
ways. And it's an adventure. And so I hope that that is what you
experience more in the days ahead to Yeah, in any of you,
any of y'all. Yeah, thank you so much for sharing, Nari.
Thank you. You're welcome. Ruth, go ahead.
Hi.
Hi, I was just
a combination of what Chrissy Chrissy was talking about that I
realized I there when I start this out with the question, I
the question was meant more for God, like, as far as having
trouble submitting to God, like saying I do, but then when it's
time to back it up, so to speak, or follow up an instruction, and
then I chicken out of it. And so saying I trust him or kind of
like almost like the disconnect between head and heart thing.
And so seeing it and thinking one thing, but living a
different thing. But then when I heard Chrissy, and then I also
heard Nari talking, I realized that maybe it has more to do
with actually my parents that I've never really thought of
before, because I thought they're a great family that I
never see far from perfect. And all of us are but they were what
they knew and born again Christians. So I was like, why
would I have any issues with them? So yeah, that's just kind
of, I'm still trying to process that.
Okay.
Yeah. And ladies, it doesn't mean our parents are bad people,
you know, even myself, okay, I love my girls, my spiritual
daughters, I love my stepson, I did the best that I could where
I was at. But man, I would go back and change some things if I
could, I really would. And they weren't like massively bad
things. But like, even with the girl's dad, I stayed with their
dad way too long, you all. And I there's times where I'm like,
man, I was a bad example in that regard. But then I'm also
like, but it gave me all those other those extra years with
them that really solidified our relationship. And so I see the
good in that too. But Ruth on on the instruction, and then
chicken out of it, you said thinking of one thing doing
another, and made me think about Paul, you know, and Paul talked
about, like, you know, sometimes I do the things I don't want to
do. And, you know, it's it's the flip side of that a little bit
what you were saying. But Paul himself, he's literally like
wrote half of the New Testament, essentially, struggle with, Oh,
my gosh, I don't want to do these things. But I keep doing
them. You know, we all have flesh, we all struggle. But in
the chicken out of it, that really stood out to me. And I
feel like those partners with some of the things I've coached
you on in the past, like that, to
like that, like it's almost like the enemy has taken humility and he's weaponized it
towards you. Okay. Where you go into, it's actually called false humility. And I'm not
saying you're doing this intentionally. Okay. But sometimes we do this where it's not, it's
no longer humility, but it's taken so far that we never, like, we're always like pushing
ourselves down. We're pushing ourselves down and literally almost believing that the other
person is always greater. Right. And so looking at what what's causing you to chicken out
of something, let's, you know, really think about that this week, chickening out of something
means to me that there's fear somewhere that you're partnering with, because that's, what's
making you back off. So even myself, I was telling the ladies this afternoon, there's
a project that I have had, literally, it's on my Jesus cares board for this whole year.
And it was on there last year, you all I have made a little bit of progress, but not as
much as I want. And it's on a book that I'm writing. And I know God wants me to write
it you all and I keep putting everybody else and everything else in front of it. Why do
I do that when I really am honest with myself, I've had to look at, well, I actually have
believed the lie at one point, I'm past this now, but I just now it's making the time on
my calendar for it and really sticking to that, making myself a priority. But I feared
that I didn't really have anything to say that people haven't already heard, or that
it wouldn't be good enough for, you know, whatever that thing is. And so then my fears
lead me to procrastination. Okay. And so technically, in a sense, it's chickening out a little bit,
because I'm fearing something that isn't real. I don't like, I believe that I do have
something to say, or I wouldn't be a leader, I wouldn't be a, you know, like, I know that
God has done things in me. So why, when I go to write a book, does it feel different
than when I coach? That's what I've been kind of processing, wait a minute here. So how
is the enemy getting an upper hand on me regarding the book? Why does that feel weightier than
coaching? And so that's how I've been processing some of my own things. And so I hope that
that helps you with whatever it is that God is nudging you to go forward and do that you're
feeling that like backing away from it instead of going towards it. And so I've been trying
to just stand in, okay, God, I do have something to say, I can write this book, I don't have
writer's block, I'm not going to partner with that anymore, because that's what was happening
to y'all, I can get on and write an amazing post on my social media page. But when I would
sit down to write the book, it was like, uh, I don't know what to say. When I do, I
do know what to say. But I'm just being real with you all, like we all face these things.
And so let's look at the core, like, what's the root of that for you?
I mean, it has to do with identity, not feeling like I have what it takes. So I, I really
don't have anything of value. Interesting. Yeah, sorry, I thought you were done there.
It's interesting to me that your parents came up tonight to an identity for you is coming up.
And so it doesn't mean that you they didn't enforce a good identity, you know, value system
in you, your worth, but I just I'm wondering what the Lord might be doing there, even though
they were, it sounds like they were really good people. And what's coming up in my spirit is
sometimes parents are so overprotective, that kids don't have enough ability to kind of spread their
wings when they're younger. And so then they can have a failure to launch when they're older.
And so Ruth, I don't know if that resonates for you. But that's what's coming. Yeah. And so I
want you to come out of agreement with that you have a failure to launch, you're going to thrive,
you can do this. And I'm really looking at and maybe that's why your parents came up tonight,
maybe they really kind of over protected you out of love, and trying to like, you know,
guard you from the world, essentially. Yeah, so pray to that, and then come in the group and let
me know how that goes. Okay, because I feel like there might be a little more to unpack there.
Okay, thank you. You're welcome. Thanks for sharing that. Alina, go ahead. So after Alina
and Eloise, I am going to close this down for tonight. So joy, since you were able to go this
I'm probably not going to have you go again this evening. Okay. All right, Alina, go ahead.
Okay. Hi. Hi. I haven't talked on here in a while, so I almost don't quite know how to unpack stuff sometimes, or I feel like it's not a big deal or it's not legit.
But anyways, I thought about submission. I thought on the flip side, sometimes I found myself needing to not be overly submissive.
I had a deep desire after I met the Lord to honor your father and mother and the leaders and just deep desire to honor God in that.
And I've gotten hurt a lot by leaders and also in relationships, getting lost in their world and maybe overly submissive and realizing, oh, I need to figure out how to have my backbone, too.
I've gotten hurt in relationships as well. And what's coming up right now is when I first got my heart broken by my sister, when we disagreed on a really big situation in our family and how to take care of a younger sister who was dealing with bipolar and her and I were trying to take care of her.
And we went our separate ways when things got hard because we couldn't agree on things. But at the time, I didn't understand what was going on, why she was distancing. And then I was afraid to really, like, I became more and more submissive, like overly submissive, you know, like afraid to rock the boat or to, like, push people away.
And I keep having a hard time figuring out how to keep relationships or build relationships. I have an easy time talking to people, but I don't know how to, like, build relationships, community, feel like I have that in my life. Yeah.
Well, you did great on sharing, by the way. Good job.
I want to encourage you. I was telling the ladies this afternoon this as well. I remember the same thing kind of in my 30s, but I remember significantly when I turned 40, feeling at some points like certain parts of me that I'm like, man, I should be so much more mature in this area, or I should know how to do this by now.
So when you were talking about having a tough time at times building relationship and knowing how to do that, that came to mind. And so I don't know if you or anyone else here resonates with that. Sometimes we just, it's like, we feel like we should be further along in some area.
But one of the things God showed me is that no one really taught me. You know, no one taught me how to build a healthy relationship. My mom, you know, like I said, wouldn't get out of bed for a long time. And there was a lot of manipulation and my mom actually functioned in a lot of narcissistic tendencies and things like that. But I didn't even know what that was, you know, all those years ago.
And so I want to encourage you that that can change. God has absolutely taught me how to build healthy relationships with people. I'm not saying other people are always healthy, and they're not always capable of having a healthy relationship. But I definitely spot healthy people a lot better now, a lot easier, and then am able to build healthy friendship and relationship with them. So I just want to speak that over you.
But then also, just want you to know that you're not alone on the struggle of being overly submissive, and then getting tripped up with, you know, people getting hurt by people that then have too much authority. And so just, you know, would love for ladies in the chat, just kind of, you know, show Alina some support. If you've ever struggled with being overly submissive, where it then got you in a kind of, like a tricky situation with someone in leadership, whether that was your parents or someone in the church.
Just so that she can see that she's not alone in that. But also, what came to mind is boundaries, Alina, and that, you know, God wants to continue to help you, you know, know the line between honoring people, but also having healthy boundaries.
Because we can, like, you know, it's very interesting now that my pastor is my husband, it's a little different, but I still there's that level of, like, I call him Pastor Brian to people.
you just call him Brian, he's your husband. I'm like, well, he's, he's my pastor. He and I feel
like it's important if, if I'm just calling him Brian to other people that we want them to call
him Pastor Brian, then doesn't that get confusing for them? So I just feel like it's a way I can
honor him. But back in the day, when I was in that other church that was more religious,
I gave them too much room, you know, to, to really define me in ways that I should have
been getting my definition from the Lord. Does that make sense? So like, yeah. Yeah. And so
I had to go back and really look at some of those, like those relationships where the authority did
end up hurting me, like, Lord, what led me to give them too much power? What led, what were
the areas I didn't set healthy boundaries with them that I can learn now in my relationships in
the days ahead to set healthy boundaries, you know, where you, we understand that in giving
honor to people that, you know, where honors do, there is still a line. Okay. There still is a
boundary line. And you can look at even Jesus in the examples that he gave us. He set boundaries
with people. And I can give you guys a couple of those. Maybe I'll do a post this week and give
you some scriptures to go in and look at. It can be very interesting when you see how Jesus, you
know, set different boundaries. One of them that I think of is when, you know, he went away to spend
time with the Lord and get rejuvenated. Now, you know, there were times where, you know, he set
boundaries even with the Pharisees and, and all the things. So know that it's okay for us to have
honor, but also set boundaries. I think the other thing would be, you know, regarding your, you know,
your parents, if there was ever any kind of like struggle there, if there was any, like I was
talking about earlier that maybe wounds are hurt where they're caused any kind of lack of respect,
you know, that can get overextended then with other people where we swing the pendulum
all the way to the other side. And then we're giving people respect before they earn it.
Does that make sense? Yeah. I'm really big on like, of course I'm going to honor people. I go
into a room, you know, even my boss's boss, I didn't know him very well, but you know, he has
one respect and like, I'm going to be honorable. I'm all like kind of people,
but I guess, what am I trying to say? I'm not going to give him trust
right out of the gate. Okay. I'm going to get to know him and let him show me that he is not
somebody that just uses words, but actually has his actions that align with his words.
You know, yes, I respect the position. Thank you, Karen. I respect their position and their
authority, but I also get to know them and discern whether or not there's someone that
I can give my heart and trust to. Does that make sense? Yeah. The lines are a little blurred right
now in that area, how to do that with people. Cause I've had so much like gap in there after,
after my sister and I disconnected, I had a really hard time finding people that I can trust.
Like building those friendships to the point, like, you know, there's times when I, whenever
I've finally found someone that would listen to me, I would like just kind of open up too much.
And then I'd be like, I hate that I have to do that. And I wish I didn't do that. And,
and I open up too quickly to people that I just meet because I need a friend.
Yeah. And that can be a cycle and I don't know how to break that cycle.
Yeah. Well, and I think part of it is, is practicing, you know, kind of what you're
doing in that regard is trauma bonding. You're, you're overwhelmed by the trauma that you
experienced. And it's, it's, it's caused you in the past to overshare. And so asking the Lord
to show you like what to share and when to share it, like, these are literally things I prayed you
all myself, because I did the same thing with certain people and I gave people too much access
to my heart. And then they, they kind of stomped all over it sometimes. And so really when you see
that they're not healthy, you're still doing it.
That can shift a hundred percent. The more that you heal, the more that you can grow.
and discernment to know, okay, this person is not a safe and
healthy person. And even sometimes when they are safe,
healthy people doesn't mean we have that God is telling us to
share that situation with them. You know, so where we really
know, like, okay, who is the person I, if I need to share
this with someone who is the person that I need to share
this with, you know, I highly recommend a counselor, for
sure, especially if it's a lot of deep trauma, because that
counselor is not going to try to, hopefully, if they're doing
their job really well, they're not going to try to lord that
over you like a leader in a church may or may not do at
times, you know, now, if they're an unsafe person, especially,
but if they're safe, you know, you should be able to trust them
a little bit, but let them show you that you can trust them
first. Yeah.
So yeah, my relationship with my mom is also not very close right
now. She just kind of abandoned me when I was going through
relationship stuff. I'm still not quite sure why she's not
very big on communicating even when I tried opening it up.
Yeah, many times she would get very upset. Um, so I would just
get used to, I still want to be connected with her even when she
would treat me very, very badly and toxic. But yeah, I think
she's amazing in so many ways. But then I would get this
attitude of like, acting like I'm better, or wanting that
position with people of like, I guess in that sense, not coming
on the earth or like over exerting like, no, I need to
have my foot down or a backbone. And I'm like, is this okay? You
know, like needing to be around people that I can feel like I'm
in that I that I that I'm not put down. I'm not like, but same
time, I also crave more. I also crave more like covering and
leadership mentorship, but I don't know how to get that
in a healthy way. Right? Because I overly submit after that. And
yeah,
part of the struggle there, the tension, the push and pull that
you're experiencing is the healing that you need regarding
the relationship with your mom, okay, because that's going to
cause you to try to seek out a mentor relationship to try to
fill that void and doesn't mean you can't want that kind of
relationship in your life in general, those are good for you.
But sometimes we can crave it like we need to have it and
that's coming from the void there of the wounds with your
mom. And then the flip side is trying to exert exert yourself
into that place of authority over somebody as a form of like,
almost like that's my identity. This is who I am. I'm strong. I
you know, I have authority I have, you know, where the
healing on the inside. Remember, we're not looking for behavior
healing on the inside that then creates long term transformation
on the outside. And so the more that you heal, Alina, I believe
that's going to shift for you more and more, I would encourage
you to really pray this week specifically about who is God as
your father, and, you know, the divine feminine as well as your,
you know, your mom, you're the person that loves you
completely. I know a lot of us don't think of God as a female,
he's not a female, but he does carry the divine feminine in his
spirit. And that's why we can experience that loving, nurturing
nature of who he is. And so I believe that this week, really
asking him to show you that side of himself and looking up
scriptures about who God is as love to you, would be really
beneficial for you.
Yeah, right now I'm in the caregiving position where I'm
around my mother, like figures, so to speak, but but I have to
take care of them and I have to be the strong one. And they're
just there for me because they need me. And so that's also I
don't like that either.
Yeah, and and one of the things I'll recommend ladies is
sometimes we can get in places where we have several things
going on at one time and it can feel overwhelming. And so one
thing I learned is I had to focus on one or two things at a
time. Because if I tried to fix every every one of these things,
it's it caused at least for me caused me to shut down. And so
Alina, I would just start with you know, the stuff with your
mom.
and really that, you know, setting the boundaries this week, looking into who is God is love to you,
and over, you know, the next few weeks really leaning into that. And I believe the other,
the other things will start to shift the more that you get grounded in who you are in Christ
more and more, for sure. So thank you so much for sharing with us tonight. Appreciate you.
Thank you.
You're welcome. Eloise, go ahead.
Here we go. I'm unmuted. Okay. So this is kind of part of some of the stuff that you said earlier,
you said something about that your parents didn't want you or whatever. And I remember
the very first time I had any kind of a counseling, freedom session kind of thing,
when I first moved to Dallas, this lady said, I see you crying from the womb
and that you felt hurt and rejected from the womb. And it, I mean, it was like,
I came from a Baptist background, you know, and so, so that wasn't, and I was in my first
truth that she was speaking to me. I just felt it from my heart and stuff. And so,
and my mother, she, her love language was service. So if I came home from college or whatever,
you know, she'd have clean sheets on the bed and my favorite foods, you know, she'd make
my favorite stuff I like to eat, but I'm all about words of affirmation and quality time.
And I never got either one of those from her. So I didn't really get it that she
loved me because I didn't equate how I was, whatever. So anyway,
um, but that leads to where I am right now today. Uh, one of the leaders in my home church,
I've been really hurting and feeling not a part and different people were talking about
relationships. And so, um, because I never got the quality, I mean, I'm just seeing this today
was the quality time and the words of affirmation when I'm in conversation or having coffee or
dinner with friends or whatever, I tend to monopolize the conversation and don't give
other people enough time for them to, you know, we equally get time, you know, kind of thing.
And so I didn't realize how much I do that. And, uh, evidently I've done it for a long time. And so,
uh, my good friend, Brenda, that I was talking to, she said, there needs to be a heart connection.
Um, to be engaged. And she said, be present, be faithful, be right in the moment,
wherever your feet are, be right there, you know? And, um, so, um, and she said,
you know, be intentional about doing, um, uh, listen more than you talk. We don't build really
relationships if we don't give people, if we don't listen and give them time to talk. And so,
um, so, um, anyway, I wrote a long, long thing in the coaching thing. Um, and I don't know
if it posted or not, cause I couldn't find it after I posted it to see if,
so I don't know if it's there tonight. I, I was in there and answered everybody this morning that
was showing on my backend that needed an answer or a comment back. And I didn't see it this morning,
but I can, well, no, I just did it right before late this afternoon. So, um, anyway, but, um,
so a gal in the, in the home group, we went for coffee yesterday. Um, and, uh, and she said,
um, you never ask how I'm doing. And I'm like, yes, I have. And she said, no, you don't.
And, um, so anyway, I'm just feeling, um, and my home church, you know, they'd been helping
weave with a lot of things since I've been unemployed and, you know, all this stuff. And so,
um, uh, but I still battle with, uh,
the brain fog stuff.
And so Brenda said, don't you remember,
my husband told you about a book you should read.
And the girl yesterday said the same book.
And I didn't remember that Mike said that,
it's been months ago.
And I didn't not read it,
but with all we're doing here and being in a job search,
I just, yeah.
So anyway, I just feel like,
I've been sabotaging myself and didn't mean to be.
I'm just so, I've been so alone for so long
and I want relationships, but evidently I'm just,
I'm just doing it all wrong.
Well, okay, here, let me help you on something though.
It doesn't mean you're doing it all wrong, Eloise.
Okay, so I don't want you to receive that lie.
Okay?
Okay.
Now I'm not in the situation with you with those ladies
and the conversations and all the things,
but yeah, sometimes we can get into a self-absorbed mode
without realizing it,
but I doubt that that's what you intended.
And now you know how some people are feeling
and now you can make some changes if they're needed.
And that's okay.
I mean, the reality is,
is we don't have to choose to think we're like muck.
Like we've just messed it all up
and there's no value in us.
And we don't have to believe those lies,
even though someone's giving us constructive criticism
or they're saying, hey, like I'm not feeling seen here.
And what can happen is it's like what I was saying
to one of the ladies, like that pendulum can kind of swing.
We didn't get these needs met in our lives in areas.
And so sometimes when we go into relationships,
we've swung all the way to the other side.
And so we're trying to get that from other people,
get that from other people without realizing it.
It's a subconscious thing.
And so I just want you to have a lot of grace
towards yourself and just know, praise the Lord.
You can continue to heal and be intentional
the next time you're around those people to be like,
you know what, today I am gonna talk
because it doesn't mean you can never speak, okay?
So I don't want you to receive that either.
You go around people, but just maybe be aware of like,
something I used to do.
And I did this when I was like coaching or in groups,
I would set a timer for myself.
Y'all know I can talk, I can get going
and I can get real fired up.
And just before I realized that 10 minutes had passed.
And so with my best friend, she tends to be more quiet.
And so I've had to really work on being intentional
to say like, hey, I've chatted for a little bit now,
I wanna hear what's going on with you.
Right.
But that's something I've had to build that muscle.
So it's all good.
And it's okay that, I know that can be hard
when people tell us things like that.
But again, remember that doesn't, it's like,
I don't know why this is the analogy
that's coming to my head, but this is what I have.
Let's imagine you have a thing full of sugar
and somehow a couple of black things get in there.
Okay.
We're gonna call those the mess ups, the mistakes we make.
Right.
Well, the whole sugar thing doesn't become black
unless you put more black in, more black in, more black in.
The reality is, is there's a couple of pieces
of black in there.
Okay.
So that's how I want you to look at this.
I know that's a very simplistic like kind of picture,
but just because you have a couple of things
that someone's saying,
hey, like this is something I'm noticing about you.
It doesn't mean your whole container's black Eloise.
Yeah.
You got all kinds of sugar in there.
Well, so because of the job search and everything,
what was I gonna say?
Oh shoot.
Oh, I said, you know, I think I said it in the note
I wrote to you and the other coaches
that it's good that the Lord.
shone a light on this because, you know, I mean, you can have a big piece of spinach in your teeth,
but, you know, if you're not looking in the mirror, you don't know it unless somebody says,
did you know, you know, kind of thing. And so I see it, you know, that this has been
a big part of my life. And, you know, it's been a big part of my life ever since I can remember,
and nobody has ever, you know, said anything. And,
well, this is a sign of real relationship. Okay. That's what's happening here. These people care
enough to tell you something that's hard. And that can lead you into deeper friendship and
deeper connection if you guys are both able to allow it to, you know, and so it's a really
beautiful thing. And I just, I just, again, I'm glad that you're seeing it too. I am. And that
it was, it was brought to your attention, but I just want to make sure you're not going into the
shame side of things and really seeing yourself as all bad, because that's where you kind of
started going with what you were saying. So I just want to make sure. And another thing is,
I connect very easily. Connectedness is my third strength. And so I see everything is connected.
And so I'll see, you know, this couple that moved here from New Mexico and everything,
you know, they're in their thirties and they just had their second kiddo and all this. And,
and so they've had, they've struggled getting to know other, you know, Christian
couples who have young kids. And so I said, I'd really like to introduce,
you know, you to this couple because they're both amazing and, and all this stuff. I just
thought they'd really connect, but, but it's not always received that I'm,
you know, or I'm, I'm out of step or something. It's all right. Yeah. And again, just remember
that I've told you guys this before. Everybody doesn't receive me either. I know it might be
I know it is, but it is true. Not every I'm not everybody's cup of tea and that is okay.
And you know, I had a leader years ago when I was in a different group that literally was like,
you're too corporate for me. I'm like, what, what is that? What does that even mean? It's
because I like structure and I was organized. They didn't want that. Totally fine. Did that
kind of catch me off guard? Yeah. But I have to understand. And even in church, like
not everybody is going to feel led to come to our church. Like, you know, we just have to learn how
to be okay with that. And I know it's not easy Eloise and everybody else, but the reality is
it's okay for us to not go into people pleasing and feeling like we have to strive for people's
love or affection or all those things. But I appreciate you sharing that Eloise. I do need
to start to close this up tonight. I did want to mention in the chat, two things, Lisa Mendricks
asked if you've done the roots and fruits before, do you need to do it again? No, you don't need to
do it again if you've already done it ladies, but for those, you know, we kind of cycle these
activations back through. And so, yeah, so go ahead and if you've done it, you're good, but
go ahead and do that other activation if you haven't done it yet. And then Kara wrote in the
chat, this concept of earning trust before opening up is confusing to me when it comes to other
believers, because they say to be vulnerable with other believers, to gain wisdom and godly community.
I think the biggest thing that I can say there is that, I mean, I want you all to know that I'm very
like genuine and I try to be friendly with everybody that I meet, sincerely, like even
new people to the church, but I don't need to just give them massive trust if I don't know anything
about them. Okay. Whether they're a believer or not, that's just what I've learned. And I actually
believe that that is wisdom and godly, you know, revelation. Because in the past, I would just give
everybody full access to my heart and it just got me all kinds of like, you know, you give people
authority and trust and they stamp all over it sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes.
And to say that we have to trust people and be vulnerable with them to gain wisdom and godly
community from them, well then isn't that them lording that stuff over us in some fashion? I
feel like it is. So I gained
Wisdom from people all the time.
And I don't know everything about them.
I can listen to podcasts and gain wisdom and not really know the person.
So I want to make sure that we're, we're not believing, you know, that
lie now on the flip side of that.
The more I get to know someone and when somebody like, even with our staff
at the church, we're talking to them about the culture we want to create
here, and we do want vulnerability to be a part of that, but guess what?
People are vulnerable when they can trust you.
And to give vulnerability before, you know, you can trust
someone is actually not wise.
Okay.
And so hopefully that was helpful, Cara and everyone else.
I just wanted to bring some clarity there as much as I could, if that's still
confusing, definitely want to chat that out with you in the group and
just appreciate you sharing that.
Um, I'm going to pray us out ladies.
This has been an awesome night.
Father, thank you for everything.
Thank you for revealing these areas for healing and
bringing truth where we need it.
God, I ask you to comfort all of these ladies that are here.
Those are going to watch the replay, comfort their hearts in the brokenness
and the areas with moms and dads and authority figures, people that have
maybe mishandled their hearts in any way.
God, we ask for your hedge of protection and we thank you for it around them.
Not only tonight, but in the days to come, God, we thank you for greater
revealings for healing.
We thank you for that freedom bell that is ringing and that things are
breaking and freedom is happening.
Breakthrough after breakthrough after breakthrough will be ours and the
supernatural realm, that things will be accelerated.
God, that you'll connect dots and help us to understand what you're saying in
the spirit realm more than ever before.
And we just thank you in advance for it.
In Jesus name, praise the Lord.
I love you guys.
I'll see you in the group.
Have a good night, everybody.
Bye.