Hey, everyone, and welcome to Supernatural Saturday.
Today is going to be a great day.
We are going to talk about something that I think is going to be so freeing, so releasing,
so empowering for all of us, and we're going to get there in just a second.
But I want to make a few announcements this morning, a lot of really cool things happening.
We are finishing up the Heartwork for Couples curriculum today, and we're going to have
that out there.
So if you know a couple, a married couple, we're going to start out with just married
couples, because if you're dating and you're engaged and you need the course, you need
this course.
I know what's in the course.
Specifically, I know what's in there.
So if you need this course already and you're dating and engaged, then you ought to break
up, okay?
Because this is going to help you to remember why you're together in the first place.
It's going to help you to get on the same page with mission, because marriages are for
ministry.
Not inside the church building ministry, but ministry, the ministry of reconciliation to
the world.
One can't, but two can.
And so it's going to remind you of those things.
It's going to reconnect you.
It's going to help you to do the things that you need to do in order to be the spirit mate
power couple that God has for you to be.
And so if you know a married couple that is a candidate for this, please share it.
Please share it with them.
You can sow into your future marriage by sowing into someone else's marriage.
You know that someone that's struggling, it doesn't have to be someone that's struggling,
just someone who's been married for a long time.
They probably need this if they've been married for a long time.
I know that you guys don't want to hear this because you haven't been married yet.
Some of you have never been married yet, but marriage is hard, okay?
It is.
It's hard.
And it's even harder if your heart is hard.
And so this is going to help people to remember what God had planned for their amazing partnership
in the first place.
And it's going to be very powerful.
So anyway, that's coming out probably on Monday is when we'll begin to release that.
We might even release it to our community today or tomorrow, but we'll release it to
the world on Monday and that's going to be exciting.
And that is leading the way into our couples membership.
So a lot of people get married here, as you know, 1600 plus people, and we need a place
for them to continue to be in community with us because they want to be.
In fact, some of you that are listening right now are married, but you just couldn't, you
couldn't leave because you love us so much.
And so we have a place called Spirit Mates, the Spirit Mate community, and that is going
to be for seriously dating couples, engaged folks, and married people that came in through
this community.
It won't be open to the public.
It'll just be open to us.
And that will be a great place for people to continue to grow together within this community.
And it's going to be exciting.
So much, so much is happening, friends.
We're releasing our retreat schedule for 2026.
So many of you are like, Hey, why can't you just release stuff earlier so that I can plan,
get off work.
I'd really like to come, but it's always too, too short a notice.
Well guess what?
It's a whole year's notice.
I'm going to release our retreat schedule.
We are having a huge retreat in Austin.
For those of you that wanted to come to Austin, but it was capped at, I think we had 20-ish
women.
Not this year.
This year, our women's retreat in Austin is going to be for 40 or more people.
We're actually going to be staying at a really amazing hotel instead of just that.
The house is what causes us to have to cap it.
So we're going to have a bigger retreat with even more incredible activities.
So excited about the Austin retreat.
This will be our third annual Austin retreat that we've had in five years.
This will be our third one and it's going to be great.
So if you've always wanted to come to that particular retreat, you're in luck because
we are opening it to more and more people.
It's going to be less expensive and it's going to be shorter, a little shorter, just a long
weekend, but also opening it up to more people.
And then we have retreats in Florida.
We have a retreat in New York.
We have a retreat in California.
We have a retreat, I'm trying to think, we may or may not do our Columbia retreat again
this year.
I got to talk to the organizers of that and see, but we are going to be releasing that
retreat schedule very soon on JackieDorman.com.
There is a entire event retreats page.
We are also going to be having a couple of singles conferences.
Oh, Tennessee is another retreat destination, but we're going to be having a conference
in Tennessee.
We're going to be having a conference in Florida.
We're going to be having a conference in Austin.
And I am going to be speaking at a couple of conferences up in the East in New Jersey,
New York, Long Island.
So lots of exciting things coming for 2026, lots of opportunities for you to get together
in person and also.
to meet a spirit mate. So very excited about all of those things. And you guys will always be given
the first opportunity to register. We will never make things public before all of you get an
opportunity to register for every event, every retreat. And if it sells out within our community,
then it sells out within our community and we will not post it elsewhere. All right, let's get
started. Father God, we're so thankful for your goodness and your love. We are so thankful, God,
that we have been born for such a time as this, that we are living on the earth during these days.
We're not going to focus on the hardness of these days. We're not going to focus
on the fear that's coming from the culture. We are going to focus on your promises. We're going
to focus on your truth. We're going to focus on what you said we could do if we partnered with
you. And so God, we are very excited about our futures. We're excited about the future of your
kingdom on earth. And we partner with you today. And we say, yes, we give you our yes today.
We don't give you the rest of us. We give you the best of us today. And we say, whatever it is, God,
wherever you want to send us, whatever you want to do, let it be done in Jesus name. Amen.
All right, friends, when I first met Jesus in my 20s, I was really wondering why all the people
our age, the age that I am now, the age that all of you guys are, we'll call it old enough to know
better. You want to call it old enough to know better? I wondered why all the people that were
older in the church seemed so bored. I was so excited about Jesus, just as I still am, as you
can see. I was so excited to go out there and tell everybody about Jesus. I don't consider myself
necessarily an evangelist, but I was very excited to win souls. I was very excited to win souls.
I was so thankful for all that God had delivered me from and that he had helped me through,
even though I was only 22 years old, I'd had a rough life already, a rough 22 years. And I was
so thankful for all the things that God was doing in my life and just being free. I was so thankful
to be free and I wanted to tell everybody. And I just didn't understand why everybody was just
patty-caking for Jesus, just barely dragging through the door of the church, sitting around,
not enthusiastic, no zeal anymore about the kingdom of God. And religion is part of that.
But I will tell you the other part of that is that those people were twice my age and they
had seen a lot. They had seen a lot of life, but also they had seen a lot of disappointment.
I think the church age promised people a lot of things, but didn't tell them about the process.
There was a lot of name it and claim it, blab it and grab it kind of theology back then,
but people didn't understand how to walk that out and actually make it a reality. And so they
began to believe that God was holding out on them at some point. And I want you just really
be honest with me this morning, because we're going to go somewhere incredible. And I believe
there's going to be a lot of breakthrough, but raise your hand if at some point in time,
maybe right now, maybe yesterday, maybe last year, you've really not just felt disappointed,
but you have felt like God has not made good on promises or that somehow you're being held out on.
This is not the time to lie to yourself or God because He already knows you.
And even if you didn't say it out loud, He can see your heart.
So if you felt left out, left behind, forgotten, forsaken, let's get the hands up.
If even for a brief second, you felt like shaking your hand at the heavens like Bruce Almighty and
saying, smite me almighty, smite her. Let's see your hand.
There's quite a bit of people who don't have their hands up. And I just want to say for the
record, I don't believe you. But at the same time, there's no shame in admitting that we are human
beings. You see, every single person in the Bible have some sketchy moments with God where they're
really not sure what's going on. And, you know, the Bible just gives us the facts, just the facts,
please, only the facts. It doesn't really get into the nuances of human dynamics and how those
humans felt. It doesn't get in deep into their feelings. The only person that we get deep into
the fields with is David in the Psalms. No one else. It tells us what Gideon did,
but it doesn't tell us how he felt about it.
It tells us what Moses and Joshua and Abraham did,
but it doesn't tell us really how they felt about it.
It tells us that Mary says,
well, I'm gonna ponder this in my heart,
but it doesn't tell us what happened the days after that
and the weeks after that and the months after that.
And when she started showing with a pregnancy,
it doesn't tell us about the complex human emotions
that she was having about the situation.
Amen?
But you know what the Bible does say?
It says that God knows our form.
And I want you to take that in right now.
It's really important that you understand that
before we go where we're about to go.
God knows our form.
What does that mean?
He knows your humanity.
He knows you're human.
He knows the frailty of your form is what the Bible says.
Friends, the human part of us is frail.
The soul and flesh part of us is frail.
It is.
It's delicate.
It's weak.
The spirit part of us is strong when we feed it.
A lot of us sow a lot to our soul and flesh parts
and we become strong for a few minutes in ourselves,
but we know that strength in ourselves
doesn't last long, does it?
It's not by might or power, but by his spirit.
So we have to continue to sow to the spirit.
And there's a Supernatural Saturday, maybe last year,
where I talked all about sowing to the spirit
and not the flesh.
So we're not gonna fully get into that idea or unpack it,
but we are gonna unpack the idea that God understands
how you are made because he made you.
And so while you beat yourself up for your humanness,
because somehow you think you're supposed to be
the spiritual superhero, well, you're not.
You're a human.
But I need to be like Jesus, Jackie.
Well, Jesus was all human and all God.
So no, you don't, because you're not.
What you need to do is surrender to Jesus
and let him live through you as much as possible.
But you know what?
You're not gonna get it fully right.
You're never gonna get it fully right.
We have to release that frailty and that weakness to God.
And that's why the Bible says that in our weakness,
his strength is made perfect.
I want someone to take that in this morning.
It's really important,
because you're really hard on yourself.
You're really hard on yourself.
And the problem with you being hard on yourself
is that when we're hard on ourselves,
eventually we're hard on others.
You may not see it.
You just may think you have high standards.
You just may think that you have strong boundaries.
You may just think whatever it is that you think,
but however you treat yourself is often how we treat others
because whoever God is to us, he will be through us.
I don't remember if it was Tozer or Spurgeon
or one of the forefathers of the faith,
but somebody said that what you believe about God
is the most important thing about you.
What you believe about him.
Not what's true, but what you believe about him
because your belief makes it true for you.
And if you believe that God is watching you
and expecting perfection,
then that is how you're gonna live your life
and it's gonna be a hard life.
Go ahead and put your hands down.
So the reason why I asked if any of us,
remember, I had a whole church full of people
when I was in my 20s that seemed pretty burnt out.
They seemed pretty burnt out.
And now I understand because I am almost 51 years old.
Seems like just yesterday, y'all,
we were talking about me turning 50
and now I'm turning 51 in just like three months.
What the hey, what's happened?
Time is marching on.
But now I get it.
I understand it.
I understand all of the ups and downs.
And of course I'd already experienced way too much life,
even at 22.
I'd already experienced more things
than a lot of people will ever go through
in their life at that age.
And I get it, I understand.
But I believe that God wants to give us
some pep in our step today.
Do you guys want some pep back in your step?
I gotta report something before I get into this.
I gotta tell you the siege is over.
No, we're not talking about that today,
but if you're brand new to Supernatural Saturday,
please go back and listen to the last
three or four Supernatural Saturdays.
The word of the hour is that the siege is over.
that the supernatural supply lines are open,
that breakthrough is here.
And we have had report after report after report.
And in my own life, you guys,
if you've been around here for any length of time,
you know that I have a homeless, mentally ill brother.
He is my only brother.
I have two brothers, but he is my only brother
that has the same mom and dad as me.
Right, Jake and Jackie.
From the very beginning, it was Jake and Jackie.
And he's 18 months older than me,
so practically an Irish twin.
And he has been sick since he was in his early 20s.
In fact, at the same time that I was meeting Jesus
and coming up out of all of the debauchery
that I was in in my life,
running around since I was a teenager,
living on my own, couch surfing, doing drugs,
trying to make a way in the world,
trying to figure things out,
experiencing every type of abuse possible,
foster homes, girls' homes, all the things.
My brother stayed at home, turned 18,
moved to Colorado, became a snowboard instructor
up on the mountains in Breckenridge,
and he had some really serious things happen up there.
Not fully, fully sure what all happened up there.
I know he had a really bad accident.
I think he had a traumatic brain injury.
There were a couple things that happened,
but all I know is that about the time
that I met Jesus at 22, he would have been almost 24,
he started having this mental health breakdown,
this psychotic break.
And he's been like this, you guys, for almost 30 years now.
And it's really hard to see your loved one
year after year after year after year after year
not have a home.
He's not an addict.
He doesn't have any of those issues
that a lot of homeless people have,
but he does have the mental health issues,
and because of that, he's just not able
to stay anywhere for any length of time
without the voices in his head telling him
that he's unsafe.
A lot of paranoia, a lot of stuff.
Long story short, he has lived in a car
for many, many, many years now.
And he did live on my property last year,
because you guys that have been around for a while
know that he was run over by a car
when he was on his bicycle.
Three months in the hospital, seven surgeries.
Definitely should have lost his leg and maybe his arm,
but he didn't, but now he's crippled.
And because of that, it slowed him down a little bit,
but he's still been living in his car.
Couldn't stay here, couldn't live in the house,
couldn't stay.
Had his own house here on my property.
The first building on my property,
he was living there all by himself.
Only made it here a year before the paranoia set in,
and that always happens to him
when he's around in proximity to people.
But what you don't know is that every year
we have tried to get him to use the money
that my mother left for him that he doesn't have access to
unless he buys a house with it.
That's all it's for.
It's just to give him a place so he's not homeless.
Every year, year after year after year,
it looked like, oh, maybe this time,
maybe he'll buy a trailer, maybe he'll buy an RV.
Maybe he'll allow us to at least lease for him
a long-term apartment, anything, something, whatever.
It doesn't matter.
Well, I'm excited to tell you that my brother
closes on his very first home
that he's ever had in his whole life in 10 days.
Jesus.
Come on.
When I tell you that this is a miracle of miracles,
you would have to understand all of the conversations,
all of the near-success moments when it looked like,
okay, yeah, we'll buy this trailer or this camper,
and then the very next day, you get the phone call,
you get the email, no, I changed my mind,
it doesn't make any sense, I don't wanna do it
because of paranoia, because of fear,
because of whatever reason.
You guys, the siege is over.
I don't care what your circumstances
have been trying to say to you.
I want you to detach from any outcome
of what you think it needs to look like
and understand that God's abundant blessings
are flowing in your life, not tomorrow, now.
Now.
And that brings me to today's subject.
So my brother, that brother, he fathered twin children.
Now, you can imagine that those kids
had a very interesting life
for the first few years of life.
They lived in a tent with my brother
and this woman who is their mother,
and they were grossly neglected,
and it was very abusive in a neglect sort of way.
And so my mother took charge of them
when she was still alive and she began to raise them.
Fast forward, she passed away,
My little brother, same mom, different dad, he took charge of them because they lived
down there near him in Florida.
And so when my mom passed, we wanted those kids to continue on.
They were going into high school and we just wanted them to have a pretty normal life.
And so he took charge of them.
He's in his thirties.
And then they graduated last year and this is their first year of college.
So I say all that to say what I'm about to say.
So I set the stage for you.
So I'm giving my husband a report in the car the other day about my niece and nephew and
how they're doing in college.
I'm giving my husband, David, a report like, oh, hey, Asher's doing great in his engineering
program and, you know, making lots of friends.
I'm giving a report.
And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, you guys, I get hit with this sadness, this
deep, deep sadness and disappointment.
And it's going to sound so silly because I'm almost a 51-year-old woman, but I'm going
to say it out loud because that is the subject of today's Supernatural Saturday.
I felt really sad that I was never going to experience what it was like to be an 18-year-old
at college.
And then all of a sudden it snowballed into I didn't get to graduate from high school
because the dysfunction of my family.
I was an emancipated minor at the time that people graduate from high school.
I was just living on my own trying to survive.
So I didn't get to walk across the stage and wear the gown and accept the diploma.
And I'm smart, as you guys know, and I would have done well.
I got really good grades.
I would have done well had I graduated from high school.
I didn't get to apply to colleges.
I didn't get to have the thrill of a college of my choice accepting me.
I didn't get to pledge.
I didn't get to be in a sorority, which I'm sure I would have done all of that.
I also am a very athletic woman.
I was really good at sports.
And because I dropped out of high school, I dropped out of sports.
When I tell you that I probably could have gotten a scholarship for sports, I'm not lying.
I could have went to college on a volleyball scholarship or a basketball scholarship.
When I played on the teams, I was always first string.
I was always point guard.
I was always, you know, I was always some of the best of the best.
But I didn't get to live that life.
I didn't get to walk that out.
You guys tracking with me?
I was scouted by a modeling agency when I was 18 years old.
I won a big modeling competition.
There was agencies, big agencies that wanted to sign me.
I would have moved to Miami.
I would have gone to Milan.
I would have moved to New York City.
But because of the state of my mental health in the situation that I was in, living with
a boyfriend, 18 years old, already been on my own for several years, I didn't have the
capacity to receive those opportunities.
So all of a sudden in this moment, when I'm talking about my niece and nephew, all the
things that I will never get to do.
I want to make sure that you understand that today's Supernatural Saturday is about grieving
the things that you will never have.
Some of you wanted to be married by the time you were 22 years old.
You wanted to be a young mom.
You're not going to get that.
You're not going to get it.
It's not going to happen.
That dream is done, right?
Some of you wanted to, maybe your dream was like my husband, both of his fathers, his
father and his stepfather, bonus father, both of them Air Force pilots.
David wanted to be an Air Force pilot.
That was his first dream.
That was his dream.
That's what his daddies did.
And that's what he wanted to do.
And he grew up hoping and wanting to do that.
And guess what?
When he became an adolescent, he started to have ear problems to the point where they
had to put tubes in his ears.
And as soon as that happened, his chances of ever becoming a pilot were done.
You can't become a pilot with tubes in your ears.
All of us have these things, all of us.
So I began to grieve the dreams.
I began to feel the ache and the sadness of never being able to go to college as a young
person.
I know I could go back to college now.
And just so you guys know, I did get my GED and I did go to college, but it's not the
same, right?
I'm never going to go to college as a young person.
I'm never going to experience that.
I'm never going to join a sorority.
I'm never going to be a collegiate athlete, or really any kind of athlete besides a weekend
warrior.
I'm not going to be a model in New York City.
I'm not going to...
How about this?
I'm never going to have a normal family.
I'm never going to have a mom, you guys.
I don't have a mom.
I know people say, well, God can send you someone like a mom.
No.
I will not have a mom on this earth.
Sure.
I have lots of amazing women in my life.
Guess what?
They're not.
They're not my mom.
Let's just get real.
Can we just get real for a second?
When I see all my friends that have amazing relationships with their mothers, and they're
going on vacations together, and they're going shopping together, and they look just alike,
and they act just alike, and they're like, oh, yeah, my mom's mini me, even though you're
55 years old.
I will not have that on this earth.
And you know what else I won't have?
I won't have a father, because I don't have one of those either.
You're like, Jackie, this is a really depressing Supernatural Saturday.
But it isn't.
It isn't.
Because I believe that the Lord wants to give us some space this morning to grieve what
isn't going to be so that we can begin to make room for what is going to be.
Come on, you guys.
Every one of us has a version of a life that we thought we could have or we would have
that we didn't have.
Every one of us does.
And I want to just let you know that your grief this morning does not make you ungrateful.
It makes you human.
I believe that God wants to invite us into a holy grief, plus a holy release, plus a
holy replacement today.
And here's the thing, you know, God wrote a book about us.
We all know that.
Psalm 139.
It's part of your heart work.
And you should have done that when you came into the community.
And a lot of the things that we dream for ourselves are not necessarily what God has
dreamed for us.
There are things that we come into this culture.
We come into the families that we come into.
There are things that other people have dreamed for us.
There are things that we think that we should do.
And not every lost dream was a lost dream of God.
And also not every lost dream was our fault.
A lot of us have dreams that were stolen by trauma.
Some were blocked by religion.
Guys, I want to tell you that modeling opportunity circled back around in my early 20s after
I met Jesus.
Everywhere I go, it was almost always that I was being recruited to model because at
the time you had to be tall to be a model.
And I'm 5'10".
And so everywhere I go, there'd be some scout scouting me.
And so that opportunity that I had when I won that contest at 18 circled back around
in my early 20s, but then it was blocked by religion.
By that time, I was a believer and the voices around me said, oh, Christian people aren't
models.
You can't be a Christian model.
There's no such thing as a Christian model.
Well, you guys, you know what?
That's not true.
But I didn't know that back then.
So some of you have had ideas, callings, things that you wanted to do that were blocked by
some religious voice that just said, that's not appropriate.
Maybe you wanted to be an actor or an actress.
Maybe you wanted to go work in an industry that people thought was not a Christian industry
in some way, shape or form.
And there was a whole era of time when church folk thought the only vocation that you could
have as a saved person was church ministry.
If you were going to do something worthy with your one and only life, you're going to become
a pastor or a preacher or some sort of missionary or something.
But we're not all called to use our gifts inside a building.
We're not.
Some of you growing up in the church, you wanted to be a pastor's wife.
You thought that was the highest vocation that you could possibly have.
You wanted to be the person who was chosen for that noble profession.
And you weren't.
And thank God.
Because first of all, there's no such thing as a pastor's wife, just want to let you know.
There's pastors.
And if you don't have a pastoring gift, you best not marry someone who does.
It's really not a great combination.
So either have a complimentary gift to that, like a full-time ministry gift.
Have that gift yourself
Some of you this is good, this is good some of you are old enough that you were blocked by your gender
There are things that you wanted to do that women just simply didn't do
Or men simply didn't do you were blocked by the time that you grew up in and what culture thought about gender roles
That's real that's a real thing
So
Let's look at Isaiah 43 verses 18 through 19
It says forget the former things because I am doing a new thing
Whoo like it here's Psalm 34 verse 18. The Lord is close to the broken-hearted
Just want to release that over you guys I
Did a whole teaching on this next one I did a whole teaching
Because I love it so much and maybe I'll bring that teaching back and resurrect it but Joel chapter 2
I'll just share with you verse 25. God says and I will restore the years. I
Will restore the years says the Lord and
Then it goes on to say about all the things that devoured
That potential during those time frames
And you guys I know a lot of people think oh when God says gonna restore the years
It's gonna restore those years to my life. He's gonna give me more years to live
He's going to give me my youth. My youth will be restored like the Eagles and yeah, all that could be true
But I really believe what that scripture is really saying is that all of the harvest that you should have had during those years
Will be restored to you
Because God can bend time and God can accelerate time God can accelerate harvest
He can give back to us what has been stolen
with interest
Because that's God's nature. He's a restorer. He's a Redeemer
Think about God throughout the Bible
this is how we learn about how who God is through the Logos through the written word and
Then the other ways that you know
God's character is through the raw through that through the Rhema through the spoken word from him to you and through watching each other's lives
Do you know that you learn about who God is by watching who he is to other people?
And that's why it's so important friends that you give a good representation of your good and loving father
Who is the giver of good and perfect gifts?
Because people are learning about God through you
We learn
But think about him he's a restorer of fortunes. He's a restorer of life. He's a Redeemer
Romans 8 28
He works things out to the good he's a Redeemer of people of lineages of legacies of situations. He's also a renamer
Whatever you've been living under if you've been living under a reproach all of your life because of whatever you were born out of wedlock
Or you got divorced back when people weren't allowed to get divorced
Maybe you you maybe you committed adultery and had an affair
Perhaps you know you think of yourself as the villain of the story because of mistakes that you've made
Well, God's a renamer. He wants to rename you in this season. He wants to give you a different identity
Maybe you see yourself as forsaken or forgotten. Maybe you were the wife the woman who was scorned
Put away left abandoned
cheated on
Maybe like me you've been carrying that
The moniker of orphan
God wants to rename us
But for today's purposes for this morning's purposes he also wants to re-dream us
Do you believe that God wants to re-dream you
Or
Are you like the people sitting in that church when I was a 22 year old new believer?
You've just become real cynical about the promises of God
That's really an honest question that you need to ask yourself right now
Because a lot of you have a lot of circumstances right now that could cause you to be real cynical if you chose to be
I get it
I
understand you guys and I know I show up with a lot of pep in my step for these supernatural Saturdays because I'm operating in a
Gift that God has given me
But I have issues I have problems. I have things going on in my life right now that are not fun or good
That are not what I signed up for I
Get it, but we can choose to be cynical or we can choose
To come to the dream giver
and let him re-dream us this morning.
I just told you how I had a massive pity party for myself
the other day when I was thinking about all the things
I would never have or never do in this life.
It didn't last long, you guys, but it did happen.
And I just wanna let you know,
grieving is not being unfaithful to God.
It's okay.
Acknowledging loss is not ingratitude.
In fact, I believe it's spiritual maturity.
God doesn't want you to fake it till you make it.
He wants you to admit to him that you're disappointed,
that your expectations were not met.
He's even not afraid of you saying,
why is this happening for everybody else but not for me?
Whatever the thing is.
Why does it seem like everybody else has enough money
to get by during this uncertain economic time?
Why does it seem that everybody else is healthy?
Why am I sick?
Why have I been driving this car for 20 years
held together with
dental floss and duct tape?
I don't know.
Y'all, I've driven every kind of car you can think of.
I just wanna tell you that right now.
When I was a young person,
my boyfriend was a mechanic and I lived with him
when I was a teenager because I didn't have
anywhere else to live.
And he had all manner of crazy cars in the backyard
and in the front yard at all different levels
of being taken apart.
You know, those families that you drove by
and you like kind of shook your head,
you're like hillbillies or rednecks or, you know,
trailer trash or whatever you thought they were.
Well, that's what this family was.
His mom was a single mom and all five of her adult children
still lived in the house with her,
with their significant others that they weren't married to
and had all kinds of kids running around
that were out of wedlock and all the crazy.
And if I would have stayed there,
that's what would have happened to me.
I was only there for two years and one day God woke me up
even though I didn't know God yet, but he knew me.
One day I woke up and I didn't know it was God,
but I just knew I had to get out of there.
I didn't know how, but I needed to
and that this wasn't my life
and this is not where I was supposed to be.
That's all I knew.
But back to the car situation,
his name was Jerry and he's no longer alive.
He went to heaven because of drug abuse.
He did meet Jesus before then and I'm so thankful
and he's also the father of my daughter, Abigail,
who's in heaven with him.
Lots of things happened to me as a young person, friends.
I've had a lot of experiences,
but I drove a lot of weird cars.
I drove cars that you could see yourself in
from the outside, meaning when you're driving by,
people could see you sitting in the car
because they were so rusty.
The doors were so rusted out,
you could see the person sitting in the car,
like sitting on the seat, their body.
I've driven cars where there's no seat.
There's no seat.
You had to put some couch cushions from the house
in the car because there was no seat
and you needed something to sit on so that you could drive.
I've driven cars with no catalytic converters
that are so loud that they could wake the dead.
I've driven every kind of car you can think of.
And so when I think of a car being held together
with fishing wire or dental floss and duct tape,
I'm like, oh yeah, I know that car.
And the funny thing is, is that my boyfriend's name
was Jerry and you know the whole saying Jerry rigged?
Well, he knew how to Jerry rig some stuff up.
Pretty talented, honestly.
But I want you to kind of revisit
some of your origin story and the dreams maybe
that you had of getting out of that
and being the first person in your family
to go to college or the first person
in your family to own a house.
And maybe that hasn't happened,
but those are not dreams that are dead.
Those are dreams that could still be resurrected.
But old dreams can also become idols, friends,
and not because they were bad, but because we treat them
like they're the only way our life could have been good.
Please get ahold of that this morning.
We treat those dreams as if the ship has sailed out of port
and there's nothing good coming back in.
We missed our boat.
Friends, you cannot miss your boat because.
You are the captain of the boat.
You are the captain.
That thing that didn't happen
and now it's impossible for it to happen,
you're not gonna be a prima ballerina.
I'm sorry, you're not.
I'm sorry.
But that's not the only way our life could have been good.
Yes, I'm not gonna have a beautiful mother
that I share DNA with that I look like
that is my best friend and that we travel the world together
and we're into all kinds of shenanigans.
But that's not the only way my life could be good.
That one still kinda hurts.
But you know what?
I do have a daughter that looks just like me,
that shares my DNA,
that I have all kinds of shenanigans with.
So I don't have the mother, but I am the mother.
I'm sorry.
Friends, you need to know that your soul realm,
the soul realm where you're holding all of this
would have, could have, should have,
it's in your soul realm that you're holding onto it.
And your soul realm has limited emotional real estate.
Friends, we cannot hold onto the life
that we wish we would have had
and still have open hands to receive
the life that God is trying to hand to us.
Friends, unmet dreams can hide in our hearts
and they can show up as all kinds of things
like resentment and comparison and jealousy,
late bloomer shame.
Some of you are late bloomers
and you got a lot of shame attached to that.
I should be further along by now.
I should have more money in my savings by now.
I should have a 401k by now.
I should, I've already been planning for retirement by now.
I should be married by now.
I should have had kids by now.
You can be holding onto that late bloomer shame
and it's taking up valuable real estate in your heart,
regret, self-blame, anger towards other people
that have caused you to be in the state that you're in,
feeling behind.
Some of you have the fear of starting over again.
You tried before, you don't wanna try again
because it didn't work out.
And all of these things must be released
in order to make space for what God wants to invite us into.
He wants to invite us this morning
into dreaming a new dream with him.
There are things that we didn't get to do,
but there are still things that we can do.
I want you to say that over yourself right now.
There are things that I didn't get to do,
but there are things that I still can do.
Yeah, you're not gonna be 18 in a dorm again.
Well, probably, thank God, right?
It might probably not been as good
as we thought it was gonna be.
But we can still build a life of friendship.
You know, what do we associate with college days?
Friends and fun.
I don't think we have anyone here that's this age,
so I'm gonna say this one.
You're not gonna be the 20-year-old bride.
Some of us were the 20-year-old bride
and that didn't work out.
That's how old I was when I got married.
But we can still have a healed, healthy,
and beautiful love story,
even if we didn't get married at the age
that we thought we would.
Some of you, there's some of,
we do have people in our community that are youngish.
They're in their early 20s, mid-20s.
But for some of you, you're not gonna be the young mom.
But you can become a joyful, intentional, and healed,
which is the most important part of momming.
Mom, grandmother, mentor,
something to use that mother gift.
Yeah, I'm not gonna be a model in New York City,
but you know what?
I can become a faith and fashion influencer.
I still love fashion.
I still love what I love.
I can influence all us 50-year-old ladies
on what to wear and what to buy and what to look like.
Because all a model is is a role model, right?
I can still be a role model, can't I?
Aren't I already a role model?
God is not limited by time.
Only we are.
Come on, get ahold of this right now.
Everyone's gotta get ahold of this, me included.
God is not limited by time.
We are the ones that limit ourselves by time.
We are the ones that limit ourselves by age.
We are.
God's not panicking about our ages.
He's not intimidated by our past.
He's not intimidated by missed opportunities.
communities. He's not intimidated by dead dreams.
God specializes in after the deadline miracles, friends.
So yes, your old dream is over. Grieve it.
Go ahead and grieve it.
Some of you haven't even taken the opportunity to admit to yourself that
you're super disappointed about it and it's taking up real estate in your heart.
So yes, the old dream is over, but the new dream is waiting.
We have an invitation to it this morning and right now we're in the holy middle.
We're in this middle area where we have to release what wasn't,
what didn't happen so that we can receive what still can be.
All right, so let's do some activations.
All right, if you have some paper, if not, close your eyes, think it up.
I want you to think about,
you guys can do some more activations with this tomorrow night.
I'll give Candy my prompts. I'll give her
the questions that I'm about to ask you guys.
What did you want that you never got to have?
And for some of you, it's still possible.
Those roller skates that you didn't get at your 10th birthday party,
you can still have those.
Some of you wanted to learn a musical instrument. It's not too late.
You're mad at your parents because they didn't fix your teeth.
Invisalign's available, friends.
What did you want that you never got?
What did you want to be that you never,
that you haven't become?
What do you want to be that you haven't become?
And what version of your life did you imagine
that hasn't come true?
I want you to think through those things. What did I want to have
that I didn't have? And for right now, friends, let's, let's,
let's focus on the things that I didn't have.
I want you to think about what did I want to have that I didn't have?
And for right now, friends, let's, let's, let's focus on the things that I didn't
have. For right now, friends, let's, let's,
let's focus on things that we're not going to get. Like you wanted,
you wanted a car. You wanted a driver's license when you were 16.
You wanted a car when you were 18.
You wanted to go overseas to school when you were in college.
You want to go on that foreign exchange student program. You know,
you want it to, you want it to do sports, but you had an injury, you know,
whatever it is that you wanted, but it's not going to happen in that way.
It's not going to happen.
You wanted to become a doctor
traditionally, go to medical school, do all the things,
but you just couldn't learn the stuff.
You just couldn't retain the information.
It just wasn't the right field for you.
Possibly had a learning disability,
or maybe you were in an accident or possibly your mental health kept you from
finishing school. Like me, it doesn't matter what it was.
And I want you to go ahead and just bring that before the Lord and it's okay to
grieve it. It's okay to grieve it.
Some of you wanted your marriage to be reconciled and you fought for it and you
prayed for it. You believed God for it.
You held space for it and your spouse did not come back.
They didn't come back. There's nothing you could do about it.
You couldn't control it.
You wanted your children to be raised with both their parents.
You were willing to forgive. You were willing to take back, but they,
they weren't, they weren't willing to, to reconcile,
even though they were the person who didn't want, who,
who left in the first place.
You were willing to forgive.
To reconcile even though they were the person who didn't want,
who, who left in the first place.
Acknowledge friends,
acknowledge the grief that you carry about the things that didn't happen the
way you wanted them to. I'm giving you some time. Go ahead.
Go ahead and put them up in the chat. If you want,
go ahead.
Come on.
Time to break agreement.
We're going to grieve it.
And then we're going to break agreement with the lies that we believe because of it.
Yeah, I also I wanted my grandparents to be at my wedding.
Yeah, that's real.
Some of you wanted your dad to walk you down the aisle when you got married and he's passed
now.
You're not going to have your dad walk you down the aisle.
Some of you wanted your mom to be at your side when you gave birth to your first child,
but she's not on earth anymore.
So many things, friends.
Look at everyone putting stuff up.
This is really powerful.
It's really important because what we're doing is we're freeing up emotional real estate.
We're grieving this thing.
We're admitting that we're super disappointed about it.
We're admitting that life hasn't turned out the way that we wanted it to or even the way
that we thought it would.
And we're making space for what is still possible.
So, any of these things that are carrying the lie that it's too late, that you've missed
your chance, that you're behind, that you're damaged, that this was your only shot at happiness
is if this thing happened the way that you wanted it to and in the timing that you wanted
it to happen.
If you're carrying any lie believing that because you're not going to have that thing,
you can't have a good life, I want you to release it this morning.
Release it.
I know this is what you wanted, and I know it would have been great.
Some of these things that you guys are putting up, it would have been wonderful if that would
have happened.
These are not bad things.
It wasn't bad to want these things, but now we have to release these things, the ones
that are impossible.
We're like, well, God is the God of the impossible.
Your parent is in heaven, so they're not going to be physically at your wedding, but guess
what?
There's a great cloud of witnesses.
I do believe that they're still with us in ways that we don't understand because we have
not seen into that other dimension, but the way that you wanted it to happen is not going
to happen, and so we need to release that and grieve it and make space.
All right, and you guys, I'm not going to force you to grieve these things in five minutes
on this call, so please do this work after this call is over, but I want to get moving
forward here because I want to extend the invitation to dream with God this morning.
So I want you to ask God now.
I want you to ask him, God, what is possible now?
What is the dream for my next decade of life, for my next couple years of life?
What is the dream for now?
What is the dream for this season?
What's he saying to you?
I believe that God is releasing new vision over all of us, new dreams, and you might
not get it on this call this morning.
You might get it tonight.
You might get it in the morning when you wake up tomorrow.
You might get it in a new opportunity that you didn't see coming, and you're like, wow,
I think that God's saying that this could be the beginning of a new dream, a new friendship
that comes out of nowhere.
So Father, we thank you right now for new vision, new opportunities, Lord, new identities,
new hope coming into our hearts.
We thank you for new relationships, new territory, new possibilities, God, new things.
You're doing a new thing.
We're letting go of the past and we're stretching our hands forth to the future.
Some of you on here are married, and marriage is not what you expected it to be.
It's harder than you thought it was going to be.
Blended families are harder than you thought they were going to be, and so you're kind
of grieving.
You know, you were waiting for the dream of being married for so long, and now that you
are married, it doesn't look anything like you imagined it to be, and you need to grieve
that.
It's okay to grieve that and to release it so that God can show you new stuff.
And listen, friends, I want us all to understand that the stuff that we're grieving, the stuff
that we're releasing, it's not that we're going to settle for something second best
to that.
I know that we think that that was the best that could have happened, and now we'll never
have the best.
We'll never have God's best for us on the earth.
We'll never have what this life has to offer that is good.
We'll have to just settle for leftovers.
We'll have to settle for second helpings.
We'll have to settle for, you know, not second helpings, you know, seconds.
I don't know.
But your future is not smaller than the dream that you lost.
It's not.
It's just different.
I want you to say that over myself.
The dream that I'm grieving is not better than the dream God is giving me right now.
It's just different.
Here's some declarations that I have written down that you guys can do if you want.
I release God right now the life that I didn't get.
I bless the younger version of myself who did the best they could.
I received the life God is still writing for me.
I received the story that God is still writing for me.
It's not too late for me.
Come on, say it.
My future is bigger than my past.
And the last one I have written down that I love the best.
I give God permission to surprise me again.
I give God permission to surprise me.
Friends, it's not possible to miss out on destiny.
It's just different.
The destiny is just different.
We didn't miss our boat.
You missed a boat, but it wasn't the boat.
There's plenty of boats that come into your harbor every single day, but when we're all
caught up in the boat that left without us, we might not see the new boats.
And all of the boats that are pulling into port, there's an invitation for you to become
the captain of them.
We are not behind friends.
I believe that we can be right on time in this season and we can be built for this season.
I believe that we're all end time people.
God has matched us with this day and age that we live in.
So let's grieve the lives that we didn't have so that we can embrace the life that God still
has for us.
He does.
He still has an amazing life for us.
Let our declaration be that the next decade of our life is going to hold what our childhood
and 20s could not carry.
I know we always think of our teen years and our childhood and our 20s with so much nostalgia
and that was when life was supposed to be the best.
No, that's not true.
That's just when we're trying to figure it out.
Your wisdom and your experiences, right now you can carry what you could have never carried
back then.
God can trust you with what you could have never been trusted with back then.
And so Lord, we thank you.
We seal today in God.
We ask that you continue to reveal and heal any grief that we're carrying from missed
opportunities, from destinies that we wish we would have had, from dreams that we think
died.
Any disappointment that we're carrying, any regret that we're carrying, Lord, we pray
that you would reveal it to heal it, Lord, and you would replace it.
Once we grieve it, once we release it to you, the would have and could have's and should
have's, Lord, that you replace it.
Place it with the can-nows, will-nows, have-nows.
Yes, Lord.
We thank you for it in Jesus' name.
Let the rest of our lives be the best of our lives.
Amen.
I love all of you.
Bless you.
Have a supernatural Saturday.