Hey, good evening, everyone, welcome to our advanced heartwork for November and super
excited to dive into some of this content tonight, I am going to try to activate you
all multiple times throughout tonight's session.
So just want to let you know, don't check out because I'm going to ask you to come in
the chat and share some things.
And then at the end, I'm not going to coach as long as I have been the last couple times
because I feel like what happens is a couple people raise their hand, and then once we
get into that group coaching, a lot more people are wanting to be in that heartwork seat.
And so I want to open that up to you all, I'll let you know when that time is.
But if you have any questions about tonight's content, you can get into the heartwork seat
for that.
You can get into the heartwork seat for other things.
So it doesn't have to just be about tonight's content.
So just want to make sure you know that on the front end, I'm super blessed, just for
the work that God has been doing today.
For those of you that don't know, just you know, there's constant sessions going on in
our community, even when you may not realize it.
And so, you know, Monday, we had two heartwork sessions in our women's group, we had one
in our men's group, we have the love story accelerator that happens for the women on
Tuesdays.
And so some of the people are meeting right now while we're going to be meeting here in
phase three with the men's.
And so man, praise the Lord for all the work that is going on and all the things that are
happening behind the scenes.
I just want to take a moment and say thank you to to our team, all the people that help
respond to you all day in and day out.
We have an incredible team and we're super grateful for those of you that were at the
anniversary party, we were able to take a few moments and talk about that.
But in for those of you that weren't, I just felt led, even though we're in November to
pause and just say thank you to my team.
Some of you I see that you're here tonight.
And I just couldn't do any of this without you.
And I know Jackie couldn't either.
And she's so grateful as well.
So thank you.
God bless you.
And this season of Thanksgiving, it's always good to pause and just remember all the things
that we have to be grateful for.
And I'm going to talk about that a little bit tonight regarding heartwork as well.
And so let me pray and go ahead and get us started for this evening.
Father, thank you so much.
God, for the reminder of how amazing you are.
You're a good father who has good gifts for your children.
God, you are healing and you want your children healed and set free more than even we want
to be set free.
Lord, I pray that you would bring things that are hidden to the surface, into the light
tonight.
God, where we've been stuck, God, I pray that you would bring revelation, that you would
connect dots, that things would shift supernaturally, whether we feel it or not, God, that we would
know that it is true.
I pray that you would just quicken things within our spirit and you would help us to
hear what your spirit is saying.
God, I thank you that you would guide and lead and direct me even as I'm coaching, not
just during the teaching session and the coaching aspect, but when they're asking questions
and they get into the heartwork seat.
God, I thank you for revelation and insight that comes from heaven above.
God, I can't do this without you.
And so I'm so grateful that your presence is here.
I pray that Holy Spirit, you would just move in and out of the whole session tonight.
Let us experience your presence in a fresh and tangible way.
In Jesus name, amen.
So tonight, I titled it, I did this back in March a little bit.
I'm doing different content tonight, but I felt led to go back to break through your
barriers.
And some of this, y'all, all day I was praying, Lord, what do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do?
And I was not getting an answer.
For those of you that think I just always hear, sometimes it's silent.
So just to let you know that does happen.
But something happened in our youth group tonight that I can't go into.
But as I was listening to this young man and the story unfolding, I kept thinking about
all the breakthrough God has brought me and the barriers that I faced along the way.
And I remembered that I had done a little bit of this coaching back in March.
And I just, you know, put together some new concepts just based off of what's been stirring
in my spirit this evening.
And so my first and only scripture that at least is on my paper, y'all know, sometimes
I get going and scriptures come out.
But the one that I have to kick us off tonight is this song of songs.
Chapter two, verse 10.
And when I read this, I don't want the guys to check out because this verse is actually
written as if like, my dearest, so it's like, you know, towards the woman, if you will.
But I want you to think about this from the aspect of God calling all of us his dearest one.
Okay, that's how I want you all to hear it.
This is what it says.
Arise, my dearest, hurry, my darling, come away with me.
I have come as you have asked to draw you to my heart and lead you out.
For now.
was the time, my beautiful one.
So what I want you all to hear,
I think this ties so powerfully
into what Jackie was talking about,
about grieving the things that have not happened
in the time that we wanted them to,
releasing that stuff so that we can receive the new.
And here is the scripture that God puts in front of me
where he's saying, I have come as you have asked
to draw you to my heart and lead you out.
He wants to lead you out of the broken places and spaces,
some of the areas where you've been stuck.
And sometimes it can get really frustrating
because we're trying and we're trying
and we don't know how to break free from that thing.
Or sometimes we don't even know why we're stuck.
We literally can't see it.
And so the Lord, I believe, wants to bring,
as I was praying, I think he wants to bring
a lot of illumination tonight through the Holy Spirit.
God says that we can receive fresh manna every single day.
And so I'm believing for that for you all tonight.
I'm believing for it for myself.
I feel like I learn every time I coach.
And so I really want to set the expectation in this place.
True healing doesn't just fix our circumstances.
It transforms our heart.
Remember, this isn't about behavioral change.
It's about long-term, lifelong change from the inside out.
And then when we are changed and we're healed
and we receive more of the love of the Father,
we're more rooted and grounded in that,
out of the overflow of that is why we're shifting
and changing the way that we act, right?
Hopefully that's the way it's happening for you all.
Trauma doesn't just hurt us.
Remember, it creates different versions of us.
Victim and survivor identities
are what come from this as well,
that cannot fully possess the abundant life
that Jesus died to give us.
If you're not sure what a victim mentality sounds like,
I've gone through it before,
but I felt led to just touch on it very quickly tonight.
A victim is someone who's gonna feel really helpless.
They're gonna blame other people for their circumstances,
whether they mean to or not.
So one of the ways this can show up,
I had this happen this week,
I asked someone like directly,
do you have unforgiveness towards your mom
for her not giving you the money?
I'm not gonna tell you the whole story,
but that was the direct question I asked the person.
And she went into,
I have unforgiveness towards my mom towards all the,
and she started listing all these other things,
but didn't actually answer my question.
And so the Lord led me, you all know,
I don't like to be direct with people,
but sometimes God does.
He's like, you need to ask her that again.
And so I asked her, I said,
hey, thank you for telling us that,
but that wasn't actually what I asked.
I asked, do you have unforgiveness towards your mom
because she didn't give you this money?
And then she said, you know, I think I do.
You know, and we had to, we coached through that.
So the reason I'm showing you that as an example
is because then what else happened,
every time I would ask her a direct question,
she would also go to the things her sister does
that hurt her, that are wrong.
And she would go to the dad or she would go to the mom,
but there was a lot of times where she was,
you know, deflecting where God was trying to get
at the core of her.
Does that make sense, everyone?
Okay.
All right.
So victims feel helpless, blame others,
and focus on the past.
Survivors, you know, it's kind of the step beyond that.
It is still really great.
They reclaim their power.
They take responsibilities for their choices.
They choose to heal.
And then they have this stuff, you know,
they start doing self-care.
They start saying no.
They start working on healthy boundaries.
And those are, that's great.
But I also want to add in thriving,
because this is where the abundant life kicks in you all.
And it doesn't mean, you know,
some of us are going to feel like we're surviving
in some areas still,
because we're still in that process of healing
where other areas are starting to thrive.
And the more those areas thrive, man, it feeds the,
you know, it starts to call us in those, you know,
survivor places or the victim places that we're still in,
it starts to call us out of there.
Here's what thriving sounds like.
People that focus on the future.
They have power regarding their future.
So these are the people that are dreaming and acting on it.
They surround themselves with other people who are thriving.
They grow, they develop, they prosper, they flourish.
So I want you just to really be honest with yourselves.
Do you feel like you're living in the land of thriving?
Or do you tend to partner in your thoughts
with victim mentalities?
Feeling helpless, feeling like, you know,
man, it's this person's fault,
or, you know, focusing on the things of the past,
or all the things that are going wrong.
Y'all, that's also victim, okay?
All right, I'm going to keep going.
So the reason I went to that was,
remember trauma doesn't just hurt us,
it creates different versions of us,
including the victim mentalities
and heart postures that we live in.
then. Okay. All right. So now what we're going to go into is
segment one, I'm going to I have, how many segments do I
have? And they're quick tonight. You know, I'm going to be moving
really fast. So note takers, your hands might get tired. But
it's gonna be really good. So I have three what I'm going to
call segments. And I have a little activation inside of each
one for you. It was Song of Songs, chapter two, verses 10.
And it was in the Passion Translation. Segment one, I'm
calling identifying your barriers. So we like at the
core, we need to remember the heartwork process, you got to
unpack where did this thing begin? What is the actual
barrier? A lot of times we think our barrier is that thing that's
kind of right in our face right now. But a lot of times it's
back behind behind that or underneath the surface. So we
want to break through stubborn areas of stagnation. The locust
of life, you know, that scripture that talks about that
God will restore all that the locust has eaten and the moth
has destroyed. Y'all, this is what you know, stagnation is
what that's kind of that versus saying, hey, God wants to take
you out of that he wants to restore, you know, where the
locust has eaten. So this is unexpected devastation that
leaves us changed forever. So have you ever gone through
unexpected trauma, unexpected devastation that now, in some
way, shape or form has caused you to be stagnant in some area,
I want to read the definition of stagnation, because I know what
it meant. But I even was like, I don't know if I fully know what
that means. And so this is what it says, a state or condition
marked by lack of flow, movement, or development. So
when we are in a place a condition in our hearts, or our
lives where there is a lack of flow, there's a lack of
movement, and even a lack of development, because sometimes
we just start to shut down, don't we? That's a signal that
there's some stagnation going on there. And the Lord wants to
heal that and cause it to flow again. You know, it's like a
dam, you know, that gets stopped up sometimes even in a river
that's flowing, if there's a bunch of sticks, and, you know,
rocks and all of that, that kind of stop the flow of the water.
Eventually, that water either, you know, just doesn't have
enough movement and power to push past those, those rocks and
those sticks, or, you know, and then it kind of gets dried out,
or it does, there's some there, you know, a force greater than
that force that's holding that rock or that stick there creates
a new momentum. And so tonight, I believe God wants to create a
new momentum in your life where you all where you felt stagnant
in the past, or maybe even recently that you start to feel
some movement in some areas tonight. So stagnation often
signals those areas where we've settled into counterfeit
identities. And even some of you, you know, in heartwork,
what can happen, we start coming out of these counterfeit
identities, and then you start dating. And some of you go
right back to the counterfeit identities, you don't mean to
but subconsciously, because the strength has the new habit
hasn't been really formed and fortified yet. And so you divert
back to old patterns of thinking old ways of reacting versus
responding. And I believe the Holy Spirit, if y'all are like
me, he talks to us, and he's like, hey, choose something
different. Don't keep don't keep going to that thought, because I
want to, I want to give you something new. But we have to
literally work that new thought we have to work that new habit,
so that it grows stronger in our brain, literally, so that our
brain signals something different. The areas where we
feel most stuck are often signaling to the exact healing
our heart needs the most. So we have to come back to ourselves,
we have to come back to these true identities. Remember, the
true identity is who God originally created you to be
before trauma before wounds, and pain ever entered your life. And
some of you, you know, all this trauma and this pain entered so
young that you just unfortunately, didn't in the
past know what healthy ever looked like. But God can teach
you. And I know that for a fact, because I like Jackie had to
fight for my life from the beginning. And God is a great
restoration artist. He's really good at it. He's really good at
giving new memories and bringing peace where there's never been
any peace because he is peace. So here's my question for you in
the chat. I want you to you don't have to give them all. But
tonight, I would love for those that are willing to identify one
specific area where you feel stuck, or resistant to forward
movement, and then put that in the chat. Is there any area that
you feel stuck in your life right now? Or there's that
resistance to forward movement? What is that?
You would put that in the chat.
Hey, I hear weight loss, stuck in finances.
Anyone else?
Being in community.
I do better alone.
God made you for community, Marina.
All right, my job, rest, ruminating thoughts, exercise,
dating, health, another dating, getting planted in a church,
community, procrastination, health, not believing God will
allow me to find my Godmate, having difficulty getting over
ex that broke up with me two weeks ago.
So who said that, Regina?
I'm so sorry to hear that.
Hearing from the Lord, relationship with the Lord,
place to live, health, fatigue lately, feeling stuck in the
area of habitual distraction with my phone, resistance to
being an adult and independent financially from parents or
on parents.
I think you're saying on parents.
They're getting a job, similar to those mentioned, weight
loss, job, finding friendships.
These are good.
Keep them coming.
Clutter, too many papers that need organized.
I'm going to kind of scroll and if they have, they've already
been said, I might just go ahead past him.
But you still matter.
So keep putting them in there because this is more for you
than it is for me.
Stuck going through belongings, mine and late parents.
It's overwhelming.
Okay, partnering with overwhelm, which is common, dealing
with family fear.
Letting go of old friends that don't encourage growth.
Yeah, I've heard that actually a couple times this week.
So I feel like God just highlighted that to me.
So I don't know how many others are having issues with friends
as you're getting healthy.
They're not sure they're happy about that because they liked
it when you were weaker and dependent on them.
Anybody else dealing with that?
Love to see that.
Imaginations, relationships, friendships, weight, doing
thing alone.
Okay.
I think I feel like I'm seeing some similar things in there.
Okay, so I'm going to keep going.
I want you to remember that thing that you put in the chat,
even if you put more than one, hold on to that because we're
going to do some stuff here in a little bit to keep working
through that.
But in that, in that area where you have felt stuck or you've
felt this stagnation, what version of yourself have you
been living from in that area?
Have you been living in the victim mindset?
Have you been living in survivor or have you been moving
towards thriving?
And really be honest with yourself because remember the
thriving is when we're moving towards the true identity.
And where does God want you to shift more tonight?
Does he want you to shift and really see where maybe there's
and I'm not saying it's true for everyone, but some of us,
you know, the reason we get stuck in victim is we haven't
taken ownership of even just one aspect of why we are where
we are.
Okay.
So for example years ago when I reached out to get counseling
when I was dating my spiritual daughter's dad long time ago
that counselor asked me, why do you feel like, you know, led
to work with me?
She wanted to know why and I said, well, because I keep
attracting the same kind of guy and the common denominator is
me.
And I needed to figure out why that was happening and I needed
to own whatever it was and there was a lot of times I wasn't
setting boundaries.
I was blowing past red flags.
I wasn't staying in community to date.
And so God really taught me a lot through that and in all of
the aspects of having to own my side of the street there.
God was warning me that whole time in that relationship and I
just kept I just kept believing that well, you can you can
change him.
You can turn this around.
Well, yeah, God can change all kinds of people's hearts, but
the people have to be willing.
Right, right.
It takes two people for reconciliation.
It takes, you know, God is not going to force someone to be
different.
They have to want to be different and change.
And so where are you maybe right now settling for too little
for too long?
Y'all I was in that relationship for six years.
It's still a lot.
I even said again this past Monday when I was coaching it's
crazy to me now when I look back.
Are any of you settling for too little for too long?
Whatever that means.
It's not just about romance.
Some of you all, you know, God's encouraging you to get
rid of your old wardrobe, but you just are afraid to spend
the money and get a new wardrobe, but that must be for
someone because that is not in my notes at all.
You know, we got we have to be willing to let go of what is
the old so that we can receive the new.
We're going to keep going segment number two.
I titled this one quieting the battlefield of your mind.
Quieting the battlefield of your mind achieving lasting
peace.
and mental warfare is a key hard work concept.
You, every one of us, not just you, myself included,
we have to daily take our thoughts captive.
We cannot be lazy at this.
We just can't.
The enemy will always come in like a flood,
but then we know the word of God says
that God will raise up a standard against him,
but we have to be a part of that standard
being raised against the enemy.
Resisting the thoughts that are not of God,
casting those things down
and making them obedient to Jesus Christ.
Even some of you, you know, just reminding yourself,
like, hey, you know, the heart work principles,
like, you know, God,
I know that you can reveal an area for healing.
If I'm offended, I have an opportunity for an upgrade here.
What are you trying to show me?
If my heart is breaking in this situation,
God, what are you trying to show me?
If I'm having trouble letting go of someone
that I'm seeing all kinds of red flags,
but I just have this fear
that I'm not gonna find anybody else,
well, we need to look at that.
What are the lies we're actually hearing?
We are literally in a war over identity
and a fight over our destiny every single day,
but we don't need to be afraid of that
because you guys already know who won, right?
We win because Jesus won.
Like, we just have to continue to, like,
put those things before the Lord.
You know, if you don't know why you're thinking a thought
that you're thinking, I tell people all the time,
pause and say, God, is this my thought?
Is this the enemy's thought?
Like a thought from the enemy, or is this from you?
And God will show you where that thought came from.
And then if you want to go on from there,
God, where did this thought originate?
Because guess what?
Even if it's your thought,
it doesn't mean it actually initially came from you.
Sometimes it does, but some of you all are having thoughts
that you've heard your whole life
because your mom said it, or your dad said it,
or a friend said it, whoever, and it gets in you.
Have you ever all ever, like, just out of nowhere,
just started singing a worship song?
It just comes right up out of your spirit
and you just start singing a song, right?
Yeah, we do that a lot, right?
Well, the same thing can happen
when we've heard a lot of garbage for a long time.
That stuff is in there until it gets worked out of us.
And so sometimes the things that you're regurgitating
are things that you learned and heard from other people.
And maybe asking yourself, okay,
I don't want to carry that thought pattern
or that heart posture anymore.
So Lord, how do I start to separate from that
and start going in the other direction?
And really allow the Lord to show you the pathway
to changing your patterns in your life.
I use the example all the time that back in the day,
when I was younger, because of the abuse I went through,
I really understand it now, but I didn't when I was a kid.
I had massive fear of the dark, y'all,
like so bad that I could hardly be in darkness.
I was terrified of it.
And I would run up the stairs
because I was afraid something was gonna get me.
Nothing was in my house, but see, the abuse,
there were always monsters in my house.
Y'all see how that works?
And then I would run from one side
of the kitchen to the other.
I literally was afraid all of the time.
I was afraid people were looking in the windows.
And I carried that into adulthood.
And there were times after I got saved
where the enemy was trying to bring
that spirit of fear back in.
And I had to choose to shut the door to that.
And how God taught me to do it is,
very popular scripture, I don't have a spirit of fear,
but I have a spirit of love and of power and of a sound mind.
I declared that over myself,
but I literally had to resist the desire to run from that.
And the more I resisted and reminded myself
that God was with me and that he is peace
and that I don't have to be afraid
because fear has to do with torment,
the more I did that over and over and over again,
y'all, that thing figured out, that spirit of fear,
the enemy, he figured out,
he couldn't get me with that anymore.
And he left.
And I'm not saying he's never tried to come back in
because that's how the devil works.
He will always try to come back and see
in a moment of weakness, if we will take that bait again.
So some of you, my question for you right now is,
have you taken the bait again?
Have you taken some kind of bait again
where the enemy is lying to you about something
and you're believing him
and it's taking you down roads of thinking
and whether it's fear or something else, panic,
for some of you, it might be anger.
I don't know what your thing is,
but apply that to your life
and really allow yourself to recognize, okay, wait.
Yeah.
I'm not an anxious person.
God, you didn't make me anxious.
I feel anxious, but I can overcome that.
And I'm not saying it's always easy, okay?
Because I know some people have a lot of PTSD,
and so your body actually has anxiousness stored up in it,
and you have to learn how to, over time,
get that stuff released from your body.
And I'm not a doctor, I just know it's legit
because I've been through it.
So sometimes it takes a while,
and you really have to learn how to live in peace
when you've lived in chaos a large part of your life.
So every battle's being waged, again,
I wanna read this to you just so you get it,
against your destiny, against your future,
and your purpose on this earth.
Your purpose on this earth is like,
what is God's calling for you?
Not just to find a spirit mate, that's a part of it,
because God has destiny DNA for you and your spirit mate
to run an awesome race together,
whatever that looks like for you.
But what is your purpose that you,
God wants you to kind of get in that kind of zone
and fun place with him so that when you meet someone
that's really great, you guys can run together
versus somebody stopping to try to make something work
with somebody that's not running the same as you.
Here's the next one,
the mind battlefield often contains the flies,
lies and counterfeit lives.
You guys remember that from the heart workbook, hopefully.
So we have all this stuff
that's kind of getting sorted out in there.
And remember, our minds are connected to our heart.
They're like together.
So when the Bible talks about being transformed
by the renewing of your mind,
so that all, you know,
knowing that all old things have passed away,
behold, everything has come new.
Well, that's happening when we heal in our hearts, you all,
because our heart is the source.
So if you have a lot of not good thoughts in your head,
you gotta get to the source.
Where is that at in your heart?
Where is that rooted?
Peace comes through daily surrender to the Lord.
Remember, he is peace.
So if you need peace, like surrender to him
and let him bring it to you.
And surrendering to the Lord is,
I love that, you know, line that Jackie says all the time,
teach me, show me, heal me, grow me.
It's that daily surrender to,
God, I can't do this without you.
I can't even, I remember,
God, I can't even have fun on dates without you.
I need help because I have so many bad experiences
that I get so nervous when I go on a date.
And I would just ask God for help
for whatever I needed it for.
For some of you, you need to learn
how to have some fun again,
because some of y'all aren't super fun.
I had to learn how to be,
like I was always a fun person, y'all,
but everything I went through just crushed that stuff in me.
And it caused me to be serious all the time
and stressed out and anxious.
And so I had to learn how to let the Bethany out,
let the fun side out and, you know, be silly.
You know, I've told y'all stories.
I mean, I army crawled to scare my husband.
Y'all, I like to have fun.
I like to do adventurous things,
but I had to work at letting that back out.
Some of you all, that's where you are.
So I want you to pause right now
and on your paper or in your phone or whatever,
identify the top three lies that you're believing
about yourself in that area that you've been stuck.
Remember that area that you said you were stuck in?
We're gonna focus on that tonight.
What are the top three lies
that you're believing about yourself in that area?
And if you don't know all three, it's okay.
Write whatever comes to your mind right now
and then ask the Lord for two others
and he'll show you what they are.
All right, I'm gonna keep going
as you guys are working on that.
And so then what we need to do,
remember the revealing for healing cycle.
If you all haven't, you know, looked at that in a while,
since, you know, some of you have been
in the heartwork a long time ago, you know?
So go back and revisit for the ladies and the men.
I think the men is the same.
I'll have to look at it.
But you all, in your course, in the courses tab,
yeah, it is the same for the men,
you have the heartwork course in there.
And then you go in the heartwork course
and revealing for healing should be in week three,
I think, but you can look through there and find it.
Revisit that.
And the reason I want you to revisit it
is because the revealing for healing cycle,
if you look back at it,
it doesn't stop at just identifying the lies.
It takes you all the way through to what is the truth
to replace the lie.
And so remembering that you're identifying
these lies tonight,
and even if you have identified.
These before and you did the revealing for healing cycle before I want you to do it again
This is your homework. I
Want you to ask the Lord to help you process through that revealing for healing cycle identify your trauma stories that are connected to those
lies
Identify the other I can't think of it right now
I should have brought it up to show you all but I want you to process all the way through to the truth
What are what is the truth to replace the lie?
And I tell the people in our heart work all the time if you don't know how to identify the truth
You can come in the groups and tell us and we'll do our best best to help you identify the truth to replace
the lie
And then you want to come into agreement with the truth
And come out of alignment with the lie
And so a lot of times you all I still will do this
I will write down I come out of agreement with whatever the lie is
And I come into agreement with whatever the truth is and i'll put them on post-it notes and put them up
In my house if i'm really struggling with something
That is a huge help to me. And so I don't know if you're a visual person if that's how you remember things but
I when I repeat something over and over it starts to get in my spirit
Just like how I said earlier
You know how we have those songs that bubble up out of our spirit and some of that negative stuff that comes up
Same thing when we repeat something to ourselves that's part of us training our brain into the new thing
Okay segment number three applying heart work to specific challenges that you're having
Moving from knowledge to transformation is another key heart work concept the heart work never ends. It becomes a lifestyle for us
Remember we're not asking you to be in the icu in that intensive program when you first enter the heart work
But it is a lifestyle, you know using these tools and getting them out
Even if you're not getting the worksheet out every time but like really remembering what the cycle is so that you can help yourself
um come through that quicker, you know identifying the lies so that you're not just partnering with them and then um,
I don't know why this but the poor old me kind of like I guess i'll go eat worms
Whatever that whole saying I think this has come up when i've done heart work before. I don't know why this always comes up
but I remember like that was like a like as kids that was kind of like a funny thing to
Like say or it was in some kind of poem or book that we had to read
which I don't even know why they made us read that but
I mean
Is that kind of how we posture though? It is sometimes right?
Like no, yeah, nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. Guess i'll go eat worms. So maybe some of you all believe like
Nobody's ever gonna love me no matter how much I try I try I try I try I can't find that spirit mate
You know guess i'll just go give up you might not be saying guess i'll go eat worms
But you might be partnering with the lie that you need to give up because it's just not gonna work
And that's not true
You're just not there yet
You just haven't met your spirit mate yet
Heart work is that lifestyle of forgiveness. It's the lifestyle of repentance and confession
a lifestyle of
Supernatural surrender remember it's not surrendering on your own
It's super naturally asking god to help you surrender
So god is putting his super with our natural
He's helping us to surrender the pen to him
And
So it's like this lifestyle of that pruning, you know and guarding our heart garden
So, what are the areas where god is like he's trying to prune some things off tonight
He's trying to show you like hey, this isn't serving you anymore
It's actually harming you this person that you know is trying to hold you back from growing. They're not healthy for you
Healing isn't a feeling either
Everyone I want you to like sometimes yeah, we're gonna feel it, you know, even like, you know
We're sick and we start to get better and we're like, oh my gosh
I I feel I feel a little bit better now because we felt sick for a while
You know, even with the cold or the flu and then you start feeling better. There is a physical release there
But there's certain types of healing that sometimes you're not gonna feel it
But that doesn't mean it's not happening
There's so much that's happening underneath the surface of your spirit and your soul that god is doing way more than you realize
So I want want you to again continue to revisit that revealing for healing cycle
Remember and asking the lord to reveal what you can't see yet
Going back to what I said earlier. Sometimes there's things that are subconsciously. We can't we don't even know why we're
Reacting the way we are to a certain situation or something that someone said
someone questions you about something and
You know, you automatically feel like, oh, why are they doing that?
Well, you know, sometimes they're actually not questioning you.
You know, there might be a different dynamic going on, but you're hearing it that way.
Do y'all ever have that happen where you automatically are on the defensive?
You're like, whoa, why?
And that's how you kind of interpret stuff from a lot of people.
If that's something that you commonly think or feel,
there might be actually something in your filter system that's causing you to react that way.
Doesn't mean that other people don't ever do anything, but there are some people
that's kind of your struggle, and you may not even realize that's what's leading you to that place.
Forgive who or what needs releasing.
Who do you need to forgive this week?
Who do you need to release fully to the Lord's care?
Maybe some of you have kids that you're just, you know, you need reconciliation.
You're fighting, or you're disagreeing, or whatever the dynamic is,
and fully releasing them to the Lord.
That might be who, like, something God is asking you to do.
And then that surrender.
What do you need to give to God this week?
Where have you been trying to take the reins back,
thinking that maybe you know better than Jesus, so you just want to take the wheel back?
Because you are believing or trying to make a desired outcome come to pass,
and maybe that's not the outcome God has actually intended for you.
How are you protecting the healed areas of your heart?
Remember I said, like, sometimes we go through things and we revert back?
Well, one of the ways that, you know, we move away from doing that
is not only retraining our brain, but it is guarding the healed places of our hearts,
and not allowing, you know, the devil to trample all over them,
people to trample all over it.
Some of you all, you know, again, putting those boundaries in place is going to be really important.
Not allowing toxic people to keep mistreating you.
So in order to move forward, do you need to put boundaries in place?
Is that what's speaking to you tonight?
I do have four segments.
I thought I did.
I just, it was at the bottom of paper here.
Number four, identifying wounds that trap us.
So this is where we're going to go next,
and then we'll do, like, a closing activation,
and then I'll do the heartwork seat coaching.
Freedom from negative patterns is another key heartwork concept.
So trauma creates these different versions of us, as I was talking about earlier.
So our past wounds are creating these counterfeit identities,
and those counterfeit identities limit our future.
We often have no problem beating ourselves up over the tiniest mistakes that we make,
even in dating.
Some of you all are just really tearing yourselves up when something doesn't work out,
and maybe God's just trying to use that to teach you something to prepare you
for the next thing that is coming
that probably is even better than what you were experiencing before.
But then we never pause to celebrate the small wins.
So what wins do you need to stop this week and celebrate?
Where do you need to, like, say,
hey, man, you're doing a good job,
and just give yourself a pat on the back a little bit?
Good and bad are not equal.
Positive far outweighs the negative.
When you give focus to the positive,
the negative will slowly start to disappear.
The same thing as what I'm saying to you
about when I was overcoming the spirit of fear,
the more I focused on the positive,
and I partnered with the word and the truth,
the darkness and the things that were not good
started weakening, and they started disappearing.
I want to show you all a picture just real quick.
I thought of this, and I thought,
okay, this will be cool visual for you all to remember tonight.
Can you see my screen?
Can you see this picture?
I want you to think about what are you focused on?
Like, what's been in your focus lately?
Has your focus been on what's not working,
what you're not doing right, what's not going well,
or are you focused on what you are doing right,
what has been going well, the areas that are growing?
Because God is saying tonight,
He wants you to shift your focus,
and He wants you to focus more on what's right.
And the more that you focus on what's right,
it doesn't mean we don't do heart work,
but what I'm saying to you is
some of you are just beating yourselves up so much
that it's just dragging you down,
and it's affecting your relationships.
So when we shift to what is all wrong in us,
we ask God to reveal areas for healing,
and we give it to Him.
That's the surrender part, you all.
God doesn't ask us to...
it and ruminate on it. You know, rumination is like you're just thinking on it and thinking
on it and thinking on it, you know, over and over again, all the mistakes that you made.
And some of you all are believing that those mistakes define you and they don't. And God
is saying tonight, it's time to change your focus. So what's in the, what's in the end
of the lens for you? And some of you, you know, again, yeah, God drew you into our community
for the spirit mate, but he wants to give you so much more than that. And are you willing
to receive everything that he has for you while you're here? Cause the spirit mates,
the cherry on top, when he sets you free and he liberates you, I'm serious. You all, I
cannot emphasize this enough. The things that God did in me through this program, as well
as healing stuff that happened before here, but man, God really accelerated it here and
set me free from stuff. I didn't even know I needed set free from literally. And because
of that, because I fully surrendered that process process, I 100% believe that's why
I was able to move forward and meet Brian, my husband. So I want you to identify one
core wound that keeps you in a negative pattern. So maybe that's connected to the area where
you're stuck. Maybe it's something totally different. That's coming up in your spirit.
Now identify one core wound area that keeps you in a negative pattern. Maybe it's a negative
thought, maybe it's fear, you know, maybe it's anxiety that keeps surfacing. So what
is that core wound that keeps kind of that Achilles heel for you? And then I want you
to work on practicing the principle of celebration of small wins. The small wins, the more we
celebrate those, it starts to create the momentum. Remember earlier I was talking about when
there's that dam and that stuff gets stuck. Well, it needs a powerful momentum. It needs
something more forceful coming behind it to push that stuff out of the way that's blocking
that. And so when you start to celebrate your wins, it's going to start to create a momentum
that will not be stopped if you allow yourself to keep moving forward versus continuing.
You remember Lot's wife? She's looking back. And I know a lot of Bible teaching, you know,
they try to make us all afraid. I'm not trying to make you afraid. But you know, what was
she looking back at? Think about this. There was so much bad stuff going on in that place.
And people that wanted to do bad stuff to their kids. And she was looking back at that.
Intriguing, right? I'm not shaming her. I'm not judging her because there had to be something
that was broken in her heart that caused her to even think for a second that she would
miss what she was leaving behind. You know, this is where some of those situationships
you all, God is asking you to move forward. And you keep looking back at that person and
thinking they're going to be the solution and they're not. I'm going to keep going.
So as we start to shift our focus to the wins and we start celebrating, God is going to
help you create that momentum. And we're going to start to have more forward movement. And
even that grieving is forward movement that Jackie talked about. It's still you moving
forward. And you're going to start to have renewed clarity. Those are huge aspects to
kind of bring this all together. You are being transformed into the real you. Remember
the you that God created. The day that He dreamed you up before He ever formed you in
your mother's womb. He celebrated when He was creating you and saying, you know, Lewis,
I'm going to put this amazing stuff in you. And you're going to be a game changer to people's
lives around the world. And the things that you carry are going to awaken joy in people.
I don't even know Lewis, but I just felt led to say that to him. You know, God is putting
things in us when He was forming us and He was, you know, just so excited. But so many
of us even hearing that, we just don't even really believe that that's how God felt when
He made us. And if that's the truth, if you don't believe that God celebrated the day
that He made you, that's the core of where you need to go. Because He did. How do I know?
The Bible tells us. It tells us. He fearfully and wonderfully made us. Can you imagine just
being like, have you ever created something? And you're just like, man, that is so awesome.
That's so good. That's how he felt. That's how he felt. So we are not who we used to
to be. Remember, we are unbecoming the counterfeit identities and we are becoming
someone new, the real, closer and closer to the real us every single day. So we're not who we
used to be and we're not even who we were yesterday. Y'all, I wasn't even who I was this morning.
I love to think about that. If I'm changing constantly, if I'm allowing God to transform
me and change me all throughout the day because hopefully I'm, you know, hearing things that
and, you know, I say something, he's like, hey, Bethany, you shouldn't have said that that way
to Brian or hey, you know, have more patience with this person. Yeah, that stuff challenges me
and it draws me further into the fullness of who Christ created me to be.
So you're not who you were yesterday or this morning either. Praise the Lord. We are always
changing. And why am I saying this? I'm saying this because for those of you that still aren't
sure if it can happen for you and how, why is this time any different? Well, because you're different.
You're different. And every single day, I'm hoping that you're stepping further
into that plan that God has for you. Some bridges that we've crossed in our lives in
the past, we will never have to cross back over ever again. Praise the Lord.
So let's stop beating ourselves up over that bridge.
You can't change it. You can't change the past. You can't go back and change the thing you said
to someone or did or you can't change what happened to you. All you can do is live your
best life moving forward. Nothing can stop us but us. True. It's very true.
So as you guys think about all this stuff that I kind of put in kind of in your lap very quickly
tonight and you're moving forward, you know, just be thinking about the binoculars. I hope that that
gave you a focal point for all of this. Like, what are you focused on, you know, and what does God
want to do in you and through you in this season and through the heart healing that He wants to
continue to do in your life? And so I'm going to go ahead and open up the heartwork seat for anybody
that has any question. It can be about something I said tonight. It can be about anything different.
You guys know I'm open to anything. If I feel like I can't answer your question, I'm going to tell you
that, okay? But for the most part, I will do my best to navigate that with you all. And so I see
Melissa Dawn's hand up. I'm going to let you go first and would love to hear what you have to say.
Okay. Thank you, Bethany. I really appreciate it. I really am so grateful for what you shared
because even the words like ruminate and just like several key words that you highlighted,
I've really been struggling with that and feeling convicted about.
Unfortunately, it seems that my pattern is I tend to attract very amazing men,
but they're really just not ready. And so they think that they're ready,
but then when it comes down to it, when they actually have to make real sacrifices and it's
just I'm totally willing to do my part, but then they're not quite willing or able to rise to meet
me, then it just kind of fizzled out. And so at this point, I would say you're talking about
boundaries and ruminating. And I do want to be very consistent and also gracious to this person
that I was with this past spring, because he has many wonderful qualities and I really respect him
as a brother in Christ and as a person. And it's difficult because we have some mutual friends
and that's not going to go away. And so I don't visit this person's page. I try,
I don't quote unquote follow them, but I haven't unfriended them because I just in general don't
do that a lot. And so it's difficult because even if, I don't know, because I gave my word and I said
like this person wanted to kind of continue to have the benefits of what I was offering,
which is like a lot of attentive listening and emotional support. But I just said,
and was like, oh, well, maybe like whenever you're, if you're ever in another relationship
or whatever. And I was like, well, actually out of respect for my own heart, I need to let you
know that I'm really ready for someone that is willing to enable to rise to meet me and
you know, pursue me all the way to the altar and beyond and, you know, that's not you, that's okay.
Um, but I just, you know, I don't do like, I don't do anything halfway, you know, like,
No, that's really good. I want to just pause and just say,
Way to go on that, because I know that that can be tough. I've had to navigate that before too.
I think that's really awesome. And I think you handled that really well.
My question for you is, what are the ruminating thoughts about? Are they about him? Is that what
you're saying? Yeah, it's, it's just difficult because I'm not following him, but he continues
to like appear on my main page. So it kind of makes me think maybe he's continuing to like,
check in on me. And so, and we're like a part of some, you know, private groups together. And so
I just feel very torn because my last word that I gave him was, you know, I, out of respect for
my own heart, you know, like he wanted just to keep all the benefits basically. And I'm like,
sir, no. And I just was like, I said, you know, out of respect for my own heart,
and to heal at this point, and to be fully healthy and whole and ready for whatever God has next.
I need to, you know, we can be cordial, but not close. And so I didn't, you know, I didn't like
unfriend him or anything. But yeah, you may want to consider for a season even it's look,
it's not being mean, it's setting a boundary for yourself. Because every time this guy's
showing up in your feed, it's it's doing something to you. I don't think it's a Yeah.
You're connected to him, though. You didn't unfriend him. That's what you said, right?
True. I guess it's, it's because you're friends with him. And whether he's looking on your page,
whatever, for whatever reason, the algorithm is sending him into your feed right now.
And I what I believe it's not that you're saying, Hey, I don't want to be friends with you,
whatever. It's it's basically you choosing to put your need first, and your need to heal right now
and move on is to not see this guy in your feed all the time. And there's nothing wrong with that,
Melissa, it's not being mean, it's setting a healthy boundary for yourself to care for yourself
really well. And I'm not telling you, you don't like you have to stop being in these groups that
he's in, or, but you might want to consider I mean, should you just stay in all those groups
right now? Like, should you keep hanging out in the same circle? Like, again, I'm not telling
you to change everything. But I think you should pray about it and really ask the Lord,
just even for a couple weeks to give yourself or a month or whatever that looks like,
where you're giving yourself a break from having to see him all the time.
Because I just think it's, it sounds like it's sending you into these constant cycles of thought
that are not helping you. Exactly saying, right? Yes, Bethany, and I'm not that kind of a person,
like, I'm usually like, not at all like this. And so I just feel like it is. But it does. It's not
the time, it just it goes through waves. And so but it just feels very dramatic. If I like,
unfriend him for a while, I mean, because then it's like, does that feel dramatic? Tell me why
that feels dramatic to you. Um, I think because part of me and part of this is just like my
family values, like if I gave my word on something, and what I meant by it was, you know,
like I said, you know, I want to, like, we can be cordial, but not close to me that if I unfriend
this person, then it kind of feels like not that like, it feels like I don't even want to be
cordial. But I think part of this too, is that I'm probably like, over considering their sensitivity
to potential rejection. And I'm because I want to be delicate, putting you're putting this person
before yourself, Melissa is what you're doing. And it's like, I'm trying not to, but okay.
But I also was like, yesterday, um, like, we had this really amazing dedication at our at my church.
And it was like, what you want to consecrate. And it's like, you know, I just noticed that,
you know, there's like more emotion on the top of my heart about this. And I'm like,
this is kind of ridiculous, because, but why? You seem like you really liked this guy. Why
is it ridiculous? Well, feelings about I mean, it's okay for you to feel Melissa and to you know,
yeah, I agree. But it should be long gone by now. Because I grieved I mourned a lot in the spring.
I mean, I bawled my eyes out. I prayed I, I like really, I definitely I'm a deep processor.
Like I do the work, like I totally all of the work, but I'm just like, okay, this is,
I mean, we dated for like just a few months.
And here's, here's, sorry, I'm going to jump in.
Here's one of the things somebody said this to me.
And I want to give this to you because I think it'll serve you.
You shouldn't should on somebody.
It's not the S H I T word.
It's you shouldn't should on somebody, but you're doing it to yourself.
So basically you're saying I should be over this by now.
And so you're getting upset with yourself and you're really kind of chastising yourself
a little bit, Melissa.
And here's the thing, how can you get over something when it keeps being put in front
of your face?
I mean, I think that makes it harder.
And so one of the things I wanted to ask you to, you said, I gave my word.
I gave my word.
That actually came out like twice, maybe three times while you were sharing tonight.
Um, I, I think this, the flip needs to happen regarding, um, see, to me, I don't know.
I'm not like this with everyone.
Y'all, I do have people that now I'm on Facebook and I'm like, Oh, how did I get
in connected to them?
I, you know, maybe it was a long, long time ago.
So I do have some of those people, but y'all, I don't just friend everybody on
Facebook.
And so I feel like that is a level of closeness.
I'm letting people into an aspect of my worlds that I don't allow everybody into.
And so for me, I'm not saying it's the same for you, but I'm saying that for me,
that feels like friendship versus cordial.
Okay.
Now there's different levels of Facebook access and I get all that, you know, you
can set your settings of who you want to see what.
Um, but I'm just trying to use that as a point.
I think that you are viewing it as you're being mean to him or you're not being his
friend, but maybe part of what needs to happen is you maybe need to actually like
being cordial.
You can say hi to someone from a distance and be cordial, but like being friends
with someone means you give them access to your life.
And right now this guy has access to your life through your Facebook.
Do you see how that flipped there?
Even just saying that.
Yes.
You are absolutely right.
And I completely agree with you on a logical level.
And I think that essentially I need to let my emotions come into subjection to the
rational thing to do, which you clearly articulated.
So I just really want to, I think what you're saying, Bethany, is exactly what I
need to hear in the sense of receiving the permission that I'm not being unkind,
that I'm being rude to him.
And ultimately I do want good things for him.
I bless him.
Do you think part of this at the core, Melissa, and it's okay if this is not the
case, but I keep feeling led to ask you this, so I feel like I need to ask you.
Do you feel like part of you is not unfriending him because you're hoping he'll
change his mind?
There may be some of that.
I think that there may be some of that.
I think it's more just like, I tend to be an idealist and I tend to see the good in
people.
And so I'm just like, I'm rooting for him to get the healing that he needs and
that's on him.
And I don't, the funny thing about it is I really genuinely think he thinks he's
healed and that he's good to go.
And I think he has some great qualities, but I'm like, Oh, there's some things
that really, he just hasn't addressed some really like deep childhood stuff.
And I just, he doesn't maybe realize the impact of that and keeps repeating the
same pattern.
But I was inviting him to look in the mirror and he got really scared and he
told me that he was intimidated by me and I try not to be intimidating.
Well, here's the thing.
Here's a seed I'm going to plant in your spirit so that you'll hopefully hold on
to this.
Okay.
Totally different from this guy.
When a man is mature and he's the spirit mate for you and he walks in the fruits of
the spirit, God is going to gift him with the ability to not be intimidated by you.
I used to have a very similar fear.
I'm a pretty strong woman.
I'm not overbearing, but I just, I know who God has called me to be.
I know the calling of God in my life as a minister.
And that seemed to always be a problem with my ex-husband, with my spiritual
daughter's dad.
And it was, it just always kept becoming a problem.
And so I remember just talking to the Lord, like, Lord, I just need somebody
that is, is confident in who they are, that doesn't get intimidated and doesn't
back away, but actually embraces who I am and wants me to thrive and be who I am
called to be.
And, and I can tell you that God has provided that.
Brian does not get intimidated.
Intimidated by any of my success. He wants me like for example, he wants me to preach more
You know, I've preached twice in our new our church here in Florida and he he's like how I want to I want to have
You do that more, you know, he's cheering me on he's a champion in my life
And so I want to plant the seed for you that while you have not found that person yet
Melissa from what it sounds like God has someone for you that is anointed and gifted with the grace and the ability
to run with you and not be intimidated by your giftings and who you are and so in your niceness, I
I'm giving you permission tonight. You're still gonna be nice, but you're just gonna set a boundary for yourself
That's what you're gonna do. So look at it like that instead of not being nice
Look at it as I'm setting a healthy boundary for myself, and I don't need to explain this, correct?
You don't say hey just to let you know blah blah because that's like not you don't need to know
And if he happens to come to you and say hey you unfriended me
Why'd you do that? Then you can just say I'm setting a healthy boundary for myself
You don't you don't even need to explain anything to him
But I'm saying in the respect of being cordial
You feel led to but don't feel like you need to over explain things to people
Yeah, it's okay for us any of us ladies and gentlemen
We can set boundaries with people and we don't got to tell them why we're setting them. Okay, we don't I
Also think that one of the complications is that so we have like I said multiple friends like he's still gonna be able to see
Whatever I post if he goes through his friends and that's fine
To agree, but yeah, but at least you won't constantly see his stuff in yours and that's the point
You're so right and that's that's really what I'm hearing and I do receive that
When I'm in my prayer group, they were like, please pray about this and I was like, I just I need somebody to give me
Permission so you really gave me permission here Bethany. Thank you so much and I just need to
Extend the self-respect which is really respect for God and his God's respect for me
But also God's respect for this other person because as we have healthy boundaries
Then we have help all around it can be an invitation for him as well to grow
regardless right now
One of the things I want you to kind of work on Melissa and then I'm gonna go to Dave
is
You don't have to be concerned about him. Okay, I'm a person you need to be concerned about is you?
Okay, I will take care of him
Whatever it is. He needs to do healing or whatever it is
But right now all the only person you need to be focused on is what is God's wanting me to do Melissa?
And how can I walk that out?
Okay, so you have complete permission just to focus on that and keep moving forward. Okay
Thank You Bethany, I really welcome great share great questions. So good. I just lost was it Dave, right?
I just lost him on my screen. Okay. Yeah
Yeah, Dave, right. Go ahead. I
Just want to say Bethany. Thank you so much for all the work you do. It's so lovely and this was an amazing teaching tonight
So thanks for taking that time
so my my question is I
Grew up in a very secure home like home was always safe and you know, like yes, there was other things
I struggled with like school and some situations
But I always was safe and secure at home and my mom and dad worked really really hard to build that like every day before
We would leave on the school bus. My mom would say go make a difference and when we come home
She said did you make a difference today? And we'd say yeah or no and it's like, okay
Well, if you know, how are you gonna make a difference tomorrow? The day's not over yet
And like, you know, like she would sing to us like the be patient song when we were being patient
My mom would always say, you know, whatever's good whatever's lovely whatever's noble whatever's righteous think of those things and she would say
Play it in your mind like a movie
So if there's something that you love and that's a righteous thing
Save that in the righteous file and when you're really upset
think about the righteous things the lovely things and she said and just watch it like you're watching a film and so
We always had that background of like and I actually got to thank both my parents today and I said hey
Thanks for this great
upbringing that I had and
This community has actually really shown me that
how unique that actually was and I kind of feel like an alien here sometimes and
Like an outcast because I can't relate to 90% of the things people are saying. I don't I don't know it
It's a different language. It's a different. Sorry. I gotta calm down. It's like a different good
This is a very real conversation because there are there's actually quite a bit of people in here that grew up in really healthy
like homes
And so I want you to know that you're not alone in that and you're not an alien
So I want you to know that because there are others here, but I do understand what you're saying
I think it can be tough when like even tonight
the
that happened with this young man at our church.
One of the leaders that was there, I didn't cry, but I was upset because I could relate
to this thing this boy shared.
She was upset because she had such a good home.
She never experienced anything like what he was talking about.
And that broke her heart because he never experienced, you know, the goodness.
And so just saying that to say totally, I think that there's that contrast, you know,
quite a bit.
Yeah, and so what God's been doing in me is I think He's been allowing me to make space
for people and make space for different kinds of people.
And I thought I did it before.
But I realize now and all my friends have said, they're like, no, no, you're making
space now.
You don't interrupt.
You're actually listening.
And they're like, you're actually making space.
And so that has been a gift.
But sometimes it is hard for me, like sometimes in Supernatural Saturday, I love the activation
because Candy will explain it.
But sometimes my story isn't Jackie's and I don't, I don't always know.
Like I'm like, I don't know what that means.
And I'm pretty intelligent and able to figure stuff out.
I get what you're saying.
Yeah.
And so an example is, is I like being called Dave.
I like Dave Davey because it was the first thing I could spell because DAV and I remember
like that was a big accomplishment for me and my grandpa used to put me on his belly
and sing Davey Crockett.
But as I've been talking to lots of different women and men in the community for David Dorman,
right, Dave Davey was his negative.
Like, oh, that was the when he was being hard to himself.
Oh, Dave Davey.
And so I've had people tell me, well, you need to go by David and not Dave and Davey.
And you know, like, that's your old self.
And I'm like, no, no, no.
And so for me, what I've been kind of been walking in and what God's teaching me is I'm
learning to step and say, hey, it's okay that I prefer to be I don't mind, David.
You know, like, I'm a professional, I'm a social worker.
So, you know, like, David writes my professional name, I get it.
But I prefer Dave or Davey.
And that's okay.
That doesn't mean that's my negative self.
That's how I identify.
And so, yeah, for me being able to raise that voice and say, hey, you know what, my story
isn't David Dorman.
I love David.
Heck, that guy's changed my life.
Jesus changed it.
But through his guidance, it's been amazing.
Like literally amazing, but, you know, like, I'm not David.
And so you get to just stand in who you are and who you name that you want to walk in
and all the things for sure.
Yeah.
And so my question is, it's a long way getting there, but how do I kind of make space?
How do I be present when I just sometimes don't understand because I've been talking
to so many amazing people in this community.
But sometimes when they share, when they say things, it just, it honestly doesn't make
sense in my brain.
And I was I talked to a psychotherapist about it and he said, yeah, that would be hard for
you, wouldn't it?
And I said, yeah, I don't get it.
And he said, yeah, that makes sense that you don't get it, Dave.
Yeah.
Well, I think the biggest thing, Dave, is giving yourself permission to not have to
understand everything.
Yeah.
Genuinely.
And I'm not saying that as just a kind of quick answer, but, you know, God's not asking
you to have to relate to everyone's story.
You know, what's that?
That hit deep.
Yeah.
I mean, I can remember back years ago in my old church, one of the ladies there, she had
a really good upbringing.
She didn't fall into a lot of sin.
And I remember she used to say things like, I don't feel like my testimony, and I'm not
saying this is the same for you, but I'm bringing this up for a reason.
She said, I don't feel like my testimony is as powerful as some of the people that have,
you know, went through all these hardships and struggle with sin and all this.
And I'm like, what?
Like your testimony is so powerful.
And so I think it's, it's us standing in who God has created us to be.
And knowing that there's so much value in that, that we are never asked to be someone
else.
And so I think even just saying, like, I'm big on like people, like even myself, if I
don't really know how to help someone, I'm either going to ask the Lord, please help
me in that moment really quick, or I'm going to say to that person, you know, especially
if it's like a biblical question, I'm going to say, you know what, I don't know the answer
to that, but I can go search it out.
I can talk to my husband.
I can, you know, go to someone that's more knowledgeable and I can come back to you.
And I am totally fine with that, but someone had to teach me that.
And so I feel like, you know, I just want you to know, you don't have to take that pressure
on yourself to, to have to relate to everyone's trauma, because, you know, the cool thing
is, is you can say, well, I, you know, I love you.
Thank you.
Maybe not to a woman, but just thank you so much for sharing, unless it's your spirit
mate.
But thank you so much for sharing your story with me.
While I might.
not be able to resonate with that. I have this great friend who went through something
similar and I would love to connect you to them. If they're needing ministered, if you're
just trying to relate to them as a friend and get to know them, it's okay for you to
say, again, thank you for sharing your story with me. I might not fully resonate, but I
just feel honored that you would tell me that. And you don't have to feel like you even have
to comprehend or understand all of it. It's just in that making space that you're talking
about that God is helping you do in this season, I feel like this is another layer of that.
Making space for people isn't necessarily that we all have to understand every single
aspect of what that person is going through, but maybe it's just being there and being
a safe person that, you know, is kind to them. You know, some people in the world today,
you smile at them or give them a compliment and they're shocked, right? I mean, sometimes
it's just the simple things that matter, you know, versus all the, you know, we don't all
have to be deliverance ministers, if you will. Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah. And, and, and I thank you for that. You, you so many heavy truths that I was trying
to like, I fastened my pants like a dog. So I really appreciate that. And I think for
me, that's, I love, I love riddles. And God's been teaching me, David, people aren't riddles.
And sometimes it's just like, one of the amazing things is, is I'm like, that's not my job.
I'm not trying to fix people. I just get to be present. And that's just been one of the
cool things that the heart work has taught me is, hey, you don't need to try to fix things.
You don't, you just let, they get to be them, you get to be you. And when it gets too heavy,
I'm just putting it at the foot of the cross and putting it, and sometimes that's daily,
but that's really been like, hey, stop, just try and figure it out. And just, they get
to be them, you get to be you and they get to have space. And that's the great thing
about the heart work is, hey, they're in the heart work. So you know what? I don't want
to solve everyone's problems. That's not my job. And the problem is, like, I'm a counselor,
right? Like I'm a trained therapist. So, and sometimes I'm like, hey, no, not my job. I'm
not God. This is in heaven. Don't be a jerk. That's my favorite quote.
You get to take your hat off as a counselor when you step out of that door, Dave. Okay.
So just remember that. And, you know, just keep picturing, you know, I want you to imagine
like sometimes when those people are telling you those stories, the enemy is trying to
put kind of a burden on you. And you just get to like, no, I'm not taking that on myself.
I'm just putting that right on the Lord. You know, and the burden to me is you feeling
like you have to, you know, that riddle side or that trying to figure out or understand
or comprehend when God has blessed you by his grace with a life where maybe you didn't
have to go through those things. So you don't have to try to, you know, conjure up your
ability to understand what that feels like for them. Yeah. And the other, just get to
be there and be kind to them and, you know, be a friend and all of those things. Yeah.
And the Christina, I think she's one of the coaches. She does the attachment theory stuff.
And I can't remember her last name, so I apologize. But so she, she's taught some of our men's
sessions in the 1822. And she said something to me that I never knew before. And it changed
my life. And she said, your secure attachment is a gift, but it's a gift from God. And so
she said, just treat it like any gift, like any spiritual gift. And so, and when I started
doing that, being like, oh, it's a gift. And so I was walking into spaces and I've had
old ladies recently come up to me and go, oh, security. Thank you. And I'm like, what?
In the grocery store. And it's like, so just kind of, that's been really blessing. And that,
and I just, I thank my parents. I was like, you guys gave me a gift. Like they both didn't have
secure upbringings at all. My dad was abandoned, but my dad, he literally was crying tonight when
he talked to me and he said, my one prayer was Lord, may I have secure sons who know you,
who can walk in the security of Jesus Christ. And so, yeah, my dad and I were having a prayer
session in the car. It's where I was freezing. And he's like, you sound like you're shivering.
I'm like, yes, because I'm in the car and it's cold. But yeah, thank you.
You're welcome, Dave. Thank you so much for sharing and thank you for telling us
your preference of your first name. I think that's super important. And, you know, whoever
told you that you should go by David, you can lovingly just kindly say to them, thank you so
much, but I prefer just to go by Dave and just kind of, you know, kindly shut that down because
you know, that's you stepping back into your authority. And so looking forward to hearing
what else God does in the days ahead. It sounds like he's marking you with the word security,
by the way, because that's why people are saying it to you. So God might even be saying something
else to you through that. Not only were you in a secure home, but God is kind of reinforcing you
in security and helping you understand. It makes me think about the scripture. You'll have to look
it up. But the scripture that talks about how.
Um, and I'm, I'm paraphrasing, so I don't even know if it says it exactly this way,
but a tree, you know, with very big branches will create shade for others to
come up under that scripture is coming to mind for you as well.
So thank you so much for sharing with us, Dave.
And I appreciate everything that God is doing in your life.
Yeah, I appreciate you.
Thank you, Bethany.
My pleasure.
Hunter, what's going on?
Well, as you can see, I went last week, I, and two weeks ago, I was a week before
I was in Israel, I was in Greece and in Malta, and I, and I'm trying to figure
out what causes self-esteem, bad thoughts to come in and all I've, and all I did
was try to work towards it all throughout that, and everybody's all proud of me.
Even got a lot of likes on Facebook about it and all, and I was trying to
think of how can I still be unhappy about my, my singleness?
I, there were a couple of women I talked to, but I wasn't, I had no intention of
dating them, I was just honing some social skills and trying to see what can I work
on or anything, especially with the singles cruise coming up.
So I have this thing where I try to, I try, I have this goal where I want to have
something and be in the present so I can enjoy it.
And, but then sometimes when it doesn't go my way, I don't get everything.
Cause I'm always one who wants the big, big prize, but I don't get it all.
I start throwing a tantrum, like a sore loser or someone succeeds and get more
rejoicing and my focus is away from them.
And they have what I don't have and I end up coveting them.
And then another part of me is I get to have what's in the, I get to focus on the
present, but I don't win it on trying to win it so I can look back and be happy.
And then I don't get it.
This whole STEM started from when I was in school and they taught me about homework.
Now do your homework when it's due.
When I got home, I wanted to play video games and computer.
And my parents took it away from me and said, no, you're doing your homework.
Basically a form of doing it right now.
I didn't have no homework.
Go study for the test.
Basically being in now, that's where it all started.
So I started drilling it into me all the way in high school.
And then it, all this, all this is, is I'm trying to figure out what
would I do to make others happy?
Like, all I know is that it, I got this stuff and paying for my own trips and
organizing my finances, getting my, and these goals singing like this.
And I got goal oriented middle school.
It just adapted me to developing habits and maturity, even get, even, even get
sent to the principal's office multiple times and shoot out if I had what it takes.
Then high school, I got goal oriented and think about our wrestling coach.
When we, when I wrestled in high school, it says, think of a goal.
And we all are not the captains came to us saying what we want to do.
And we want to build up and progress and get better and better,
better, that sort of stuff.
So I build on that after I graduated high school and I develop these habits.
So I'm trying to think, what can I do to build up my self-esteem more?
Because all these habits, it's like all my self-esteem reflects on what I can do
with this and make the most of my life.
Right.
Well, I think Hunter, this is, I feel like this is kind of, we're circling
back to the core here where God is trying to help you heal in this area of holding
yourself to a really harsh standard.
I think, I mean, even hearing about as many times as, you know, I've coached
and helped with when you've shared, I don't know that I've ever heard that
part of the story about when your parents, you know, would make you do
homework, even when you didn't have homework.
And so my question,
Or make you go outside and play on a nice sunny day, not because they rather have
me do that than lounge on the couch, watching TV, playing video games and fight over it.
That probably was good for you.
That, that part was probably a little good for you.
And they guilt ridded me to do it even until adulthood.
Not the guilt, not the guilt, but I'm just saying.
Um, so I think what's important is I just, I don't know if I know this answer.
Have you ever done the forgiveness prayer sheets to forgive
your parents for that stuff?
No, well, they didn't forgive.
Well, it's actually the babysitter that actually did it, not them.
They just want me to succeed in school.
So the babysitter.
Did you ever do a forgiveness prayer sheet to forgive the babysitter then?
No, but I did hear back from Facebook on my 37th birthday.
We're talking about, we're talking about forgiveness prayer sheet right now.
Okay.
So if you haven't done a forgiveness prayer sheet to forgive those people that were
making you, you know, kind of where you feel like they were forcing, because what I heard
you saying is that the root goes back to this stuff where they were forcing you to do
when you didn't even have homework and that that's at the core of you have feeling like
you have to strive to keep doing things.
And so forgiving the people that, you know, you have offense towards.
Or maybe resentment towards for doing that is going to be a really
big piece of you moving forward.
You know, we.
a lot of times, you all, we don't realize unforgiveness literally keeps us tethered to stuff.
If you don't want to be bound to something anymore, you need to forgive that person, those
things, and allow God to create that separation, so that you can move forward into healing and
fullness. And so I want to encourage you this week, Hunter. You know, you go into that
heart recourse, the forgiveness prayer sheet is in week four, print that out. And I want you to
pray. And I want you to ask the Lord to help you forgive those people. And I want you to fill that
out. And then I would love for you to take a picture of it and post it in the men's group,
so that I can see that you did it. Okay. All right, do it right. Go get the get the book and
read the whole unforgiveness and write it all down. Well, no. So the forgiveness prayer sheet
is when you go into the heart recourse, and you go into week four, there's a worksheet.
You're just going to print off a one page worksheet. And you're going to do the prayer
that's on the worksheet. And you're going to fill that out. And you're going to pray to forgive
those people. But reading the heart workbook chapters on forgiveness might not be a bad idea
as well. But what I was talking about is just that worksheet. Do you know where to find it?
Do you understand? No, it's an 1822 men's
in the app in the app when you go in the men's app group. Yep. And you go under the
URLs might be training, but courses is training or courses, whatever tab URLs is called.
If I had it up and right in front of me, I would tell you I see the course is men's
heart work course, right? Yep. Yep. You go in there. And then in the men's heart recourse,
you're going to go into week four. Oh, yeah, I see a forgiveness and prayer and then
download it. And then and then you can and then print it out and then print it out,
just print that out. And then you're going to you're going to pray and you're going to forgive
those people. And you're going to fill that sheet out as you're doing that and processing forgiving
them. And then yeah, and then you're going to start to move forward. But I would encourage
you to also read the forgiveness chapters in the ebook as well and just revisit that.
So appreciate you so much for sharing that with us. Another thing too, is that I even
tried to accept a goal saying I want to date someone and I can't make it happen. And when
I can't make it happen, I get I get all bent out of shape and bitter and then I start starting
getting hostile to these guys who are married and hopefully let's do harm to them and see how they
feel. But and I thinking what's the cure to that? Like, I know I want it. It's true. It's all about
your heart. It's what's going on in your heart, Hunter. So when we have thoughts like I want to
do something to harm someone because they have success in something, that's something in us that
God needs to heal, which typically is a root of envy and jealousy. And so we need to make sure
that we're, you know, sometimes you might even need to forgive yourself. I'm not sure, you know,
this is where praying and asking the Lord, who do you need to forgive is going to be a big part of
this. If you need to forgive yourself for whatever in the past that's keeping you stuck now regarding
women. I mean, that's going to be a part of it. Forgive yourself for getting angry with these men,
but really keeping control of your heart and the things that you're thinking about,
which is what I talked about tonight. Sounds like it's going to be really helpful for you, too.
And another thing, too, is that. OK, one more thing, and then I'm going to go to Tiffany, OK?
Another thing is, is how what can I do to build self-esteem? It's like all these things I'm doing
for myself that with personal growth, everyone's praising me and very proud of me to the point where
myself, I make myself seem depend on on that because it's built on people being proud of what
I do. Yeah, self-esteem genuinely comes. So when it's lasting, that means it doesn't go away really
quickly. And it's not because of a title we have or something we accomplish when we're really
secure in the Lord and who we are in him. We like we know his love for us. Do I have your attention
card on her? Yeah. OK, I just want to make sure. So when we are rooted in his love, that's going
to be the thing that's going to change that security in him where you're not going to need
to try to, you know, get people's attention by things you accomplish. So self-esteem comes
from security in Christ, and that comes from knowing the love of the father, the love of God
for you. All right. OK, so it's it's praying you all. It's it's literally I mean, I I pray still
even today all the time. God, help me to understand who you are as love.
of more and more. I want to be literally so full of the understanding of who He is as
love to me that I can be rooted in that no matter what comes my way. And so I would give
that to all of you in that regard. If you're struggling with what He was talking about
there and being secure or insecure or however that's showing up for you, knowing God's love
for you is the game changer. And for so many, you know, we come into the body of Christ
and we've been in church, some of us a long time, and we're like, yeah, I know the love
of God. I know. I get it. I get it. And you get frustrated with people like me who just
keep talking about it. But at the core, so many of us actually don't really know the
love. We know of the love because the church tells us, the Bible tells us, but knowing
the love in here, like deep in here, that's where the change comes. That's where transformation
is going to happen. Thank you so much for sharing, Hunter. Tiffany, go ahead.
Hi. So we were wondering what I can do to help protect my heart from my husband. I've
heard that he is constantly making selfish decisions and he lives 45 minutes away and
he doesn't want to drive that far to come visit her. So for instance, last year he saw her
three times. And two of those times were only for like three hours. So how do I protect
my heart from the constant things that he's doing mostly to my child? How do I handle that?
Well, so I've been through this in a different way because my spiritual daughter's dad and
their mom, their biological mom, do things literally all the time that hurt them. And
they're adults now, but it's been going on for years and years and years. The way that
you guard your heart is you continue to forgive and you continue to release that to the Lord.
You trust the Lord with your daughter, understanding that God loves her more than you do,
if you can fathom that. And that he will cover her. He will heal any wounds that come from her
dad not being in her life, not showing up, whatever the aspects are. And realizing that
while we want to be the one that protects them from everything and we do our best to do that,
it's really God's job. We partner with him in that. But it's kind of like what I was saying
to Dave, just in a different way, where we understand that we can put the weight of that
onto the Lord versus us having to carry and feel responsible for that other person or
whatever that dynamic is. And so the Bible says 70 times 7. And basically what that's saying is
we need to always be willing to forgive. Does that mean you need to just allow him to make
whatever whimsical choice he wants to make and have no boundaries? No, that's not what that
means. And so maybe for you, it's not trying to make him be a dad and just letting him make
a decision. Unfortunately, either way right now, it's hurting your daughter.
Because if he's showing up and he feels forced or something, then that's going to be translated
through to her. You know what I'm saying? Really just surrendering him completely to the Lord and
not trying to create the outcome that you want for her. And I know that's really hard. That's not an
easy thing to surrender the outcome. And I'll just say even from the flip side, I was one of those
kids who always wanted my dad to be a dad. And for years, I chased after him to try to convince him
to want to show up, even getting angry at him and trying to tell him how much he was hurting me.
And nothing mattered. He never showed up. Literally, he's no longer alive now. My dad,
you know, long into his well-aged years, didn't even know when my birthday was.
Okay. And so I'm saying that to you to say, was that hard? 100%. But you know what?
It's made me who I am. And I help a lot of people now. And I'm able to help them in ways that some
other people can't because of what I'm
been through and I wish that it was different for your daughter and I hope that your ex turns around.
I hope that he, you know, has a come to Jesus moment where God really gets a hold of his heart
and shows him what a true father looks like. But for you to be able to move forward, because you
are the only person that you can, in a sense, control. But we know that God is really the only
one, you know, that's in control. But you can only take care of you. You can only make the decisions
that are best for you to be healthy and your daughter. And so my question for you is,
what boundary do you need to put in place in the next week to help you become healthier in this
dynamic? Right. It's hard for me to not have those conversations in your head with him.
Yeah. So once that starts, it's really, really hard to stop my brain from continuing in the
conversation, even though I tell myself that, you know, it's not healthy. It's not going to help.
This is not how it would go anyway. Yeah. You know. So let me ask you this. If you didn't
pursue him to try to convince him to come see her, what would he do?
That's basically what I've done over the past year. I know. Yeah, I mean, I did for a long time,
ever since she was like, really little, like when he decided to go to Texas,
because he just couldn't handle it in Seattle. But he's not happy with me. So I know that if I
to talk to him about it, it's going to have the opposite effect. So I did recently try to ask his
mom, because she's been able to convince him. But apparently, right now, it's not going to.
When you say he's not happy with you, I mean, is that impacting his ability to see your daughter?
No, no, no, just over the summer. So he hasn't like actively seen her in like a year and a half.
But over the summer, she's 19. But she is autistic. And I've been having to work like three
jobs. And I'm thinking, you know, she still can't be on her own. She still needs support. And I
shouldn't have to be the only person who supports her. So I ended up asking for help. And so now
I'm getting child support again. Okay, so he's really not happy.
That's okay. He can be not happy. That's all right.
At least I don't have to work so much. I'm actually able to spend time with her because
it was really, really hard for her when I was gone, like all day. So that is better. Thank you.
All right. So So your question tonight was, how do you continue to exist in forgiving him and not
getting caught up in that? Did I answer your question?
I think so. I mean, it's Yeah, I would just like to be able to stop the conversations that I have
in my head, you know, with him and try to, you know,
you're saying you're not even necessarily always talk talking to him. These are just
conversations you're having in your head. That's what I hear you saying.
Yeah. And it's just it's just hurting my heart a lot. So I
Yeah, one of the things that stood out to me is you said I can't control the thoughts that are
going on in my head. Like I can't make them stop. And I think that's part of the victim mentality
that I was talking about earlier. When we partner with I can't do it. I have no control over this.
That's us saying we're helpless in this situation. But you're not helpless because God has equipped
you with tools, including the armor of God that help you and enable you the Holy Spirit who raised
Jesus Christ from the dead is living in you if you're a believer of Jesus Christ, and that
that spirit can enable you and empower you to get a hold of your thoughts. And I'm not saying it's
easy. Okay. I used to really get so frustrated with the girl's dad that I would just think on
it and think on it and think of it. What he had done and how upset I was. And then one day,
God just started teaching me how to like, I can be upset for them, and I can love them and I can
want better for them. But I just I had to choose that I just could not give that real estate of
my heart to that person over and over and over again anymore. Do you see? And so I feel like
that's kind of the enemy's trap. He's just trying to get you to keep like, I talked about the
rumination earlier, it's very similar, what you're saying where you're just thinking on something and
thinking on it and thinking, but partnering
with, I can't control this, is kind of at the crux here for you.
So I need you to come out of alignment with that lie, because that's not truth.
Because God enables you, the Bible says that we can take every thought captive,
all of us, and make every thought captive to the obedience of
Jesus Christ and his truth.
And so you have to partner with the authority that God has given you to
tread upon serpents, my friend.
This is your serpent, if you will, you know, and so it's, you know, for me, I
had to get out my Bible and read the scripture out loud when I would start
having, you know, fearful thoughts.
And I mean, I, you just have to activate the word, you have to partner with it
and you have to, you know, the, the darkness isn't going to stay when you
start quoting scripture and you start worshiping and stuff, like literally
the enemy is like, I'm out of here.
And I'm not saying it's always that easy, but like when we start reading
the word and doing all that, like, I mean, he just, it shuts all that darkness down.
So when you're having a really hard time getting control of your mind, you need to
start speaking out of your mouth, the truth of God's word, because as soon as
you start speaking out with your mouth, it's going to shut the thoughts
down up here that are going on.
Yeah.
And so, you know, just like I'm saying, everybody, we really can't sit and wait,
you know, just like Jackie's telling you guys all the time, all of us, myself
included, which is thankfully what was able, enabled me to step into my
relationship with my husband.
But like, you know, we have to partner with God in this stuff.
And when we check out and we say, I just can't do it.
I just, I'm not able, I have no, and you all, I'll tell you what the enemy, he
and like, we're just too tired.
I just don't have the energy to do this anymore.
And sometimes that is how I feel too, not about the spirit made
anymore, but about other things.
But if I partner with that, then I come out of agreement with victory.
So I can grieve just like Jackie's talking to us.
I can pause and I can grieve that something isn't the way that I wanted it
to be, and then I can move on.
So some of you, again, go back and revisit Supernatural Saturday.
If you haven't heard it, it will help you.
I am going to take crystal parrot and then we're going to close down for the
night for anyone I know we're at nine 30.
I try to end right on time, but I do want to go ahead and honor.
She's had her hand up for a while.
Oh, sorry, Bethany.
It's okay.
You can go ahead and end the night.
It's okay.
No, literally.
Do you want to ask a question?
Well, I feel like it might be a little bit drawn out, but maybe short.
I don't know.
So it's okay.
Just go ahead.
I'm giving you permission.
Okay.
I was kind of going to come, come around because I was going to ask, like, you
know, I mean, I started the fostering.
Um, and then someone had said to me, you know, like, Oh, you know, your dream's
coming true, right?
Because, you know, I've always wanted to have kids, right?
Like, you know, like I feel like not, I feel like I know the other parts of my
life are really put together, like my finances and my job and, you know, other
things, things like that.
And then I, you know, did a lot of, you know, after the couple with the ex
fiance and stuff, did a lot of hard work and stuff, you know, and they're like,
your dreams are coming true.
But then, um, you know, I have a friend and I'm probably going to say it's a
situationship that I need to handle with.
But anyways, he said to me, he's like, you know, cause we were talking about it.
He was like, no, your dreams aren't coming true.
He was like, you know, he goes, you want to be married?
He was like, you want to have kids of your own?
He was like, so don't let them, don't let other people tell you that your
dreams are coming true.
Um, so I mean, like, it's going to be coming around a year here and I actually
haven't gone on a date yet.
Um, and that's okay.
It is okay.
So I just, I'm like, should I go back to Harvard?
Should I go back to the second part?
You know, I kind of feel I'm like, do you know, I got into the, you know, the
fostering is a situation.
So, I mean, you know, it's kind of like, everybody thinks, you know, you, you know,
about everything, but it's kind of like a Hank situation, you know, you think, oh, I
want to have kids, but like, then you forget, like, you know, you're going to be
up every three hours, you know, and then you're not going to get any sleep and
you're going to need to take a nap in the middle of the day.
And, you know, all the things that you used to do that were just easy to do.
Now you have somebody to drag along with you, um, even when they're not yours.
So, um, you know, and then I had, you know, I felt like I got a word from the
Lord that because, you know, when, like in the past for me, like in relationships,
like a lot of men have said, like, you know, yeah, I want to get married and have
kids, but then we get down to it or get close or whatever.
And then it's like, it's this change in heart.
So I feel like the Lord kind of gave me.
word because I was like, you know, should I be fostering? Should I, you know, what should I be
doing? And I feel like the Lord has said to me, you know, because when the men see that I'm like
a strong businesswoman and stuff like that, like they, you know, that attracts a different type of
person. And he was like, with this fostering, he was like, you know, you'll know this person. He
was like, they're not going to be able to pretend and they're not like, this is not going to be a,
you know, say one thing changed to the next thing type of person. He was like this,
you know, because this is there and this is real. And he was like, you'll know them by that.
But I guess, I guess, I don't know. I feel a little stuck or, you know, kind of not knowing
what to do or, you know, right now, I guess. Are you feeling stuck because you feel like you
should be further along in dating than you are? What's causing you to actually feel stuck?
That's a good question. Okay. So that's what we need to uncover. So that's what you need the
I think, you know, for me, just hearing you talk, I feel like you've been on a good progression of
healing. You're stepping into while yes, you do want your own children. This is still a part of
you partnering with that. And so I feel like you are continuing to heal and grow. And, you know,
I will tell you all, I didn't date right away after I came out of what was called boot camp
back then. And I knew that I needed to wait because of all the abusive stuff that I had
through. I was still kind of unraveling all of that stuff. And so I didn't want to carry that
into another relationship again. And so I just gave myself permission to trust the Holy Spirit.
Now, I will tell you that there did come a day when Jackie Dorman came a calling, and she's like,
it's time, Bethany, it's time. And we had that conversation a couple times. And by the second
or third time, I don't even remember, I finally was like, you know what, you're right, God's been
talking to me too. And so but like, you know, really leaning into what the Holy Spirit is doing
in your life right now, and trusting that process. And so ask the Lord to reveal, like, what is
actually like, where do you actually feel stuck? Or is it just people's opinions? Or you comparing
yourself to other people that's causing you to believe that you're stuck? Okay. And then when
you get to the kind of the root of that, then come in the group and myself or one of the team can
kind of help you continue to process that out. I think maybe, and maybe I asked, like, oh,
maybe should I go back to Harvard or whatever, because it's not maybe stuck, but maybe like,
I don't know, it's kind of like, I always think my business trainer, or, you know, at church,
they say, like, always go back and find Jesus where you left him, or like, you know, follow
directions or what like that. And I came through the hard work, like, super strong, but because I
was still dealing with the, still dealing with the ex who was, you know, causing all kinds of
couples, you know, maybe I didn't take all the steps that were needed in step two. And maybe I
feel stuck not to know what step is to take, because I actually didn't, you know, follow
through and take all those steps, like, you know, where you're supposed to take seven dates, you
know, like, I mean, I went through the program. I mean, it's not like I didn't do it. I went through
all the material, but I did it, but I didn't do it. You know what I mean? I understand what you're
saying. So here's the thing. You have the capability to go and watch those heartwork videos at any time.
It's in your, it's in your tab under courses. I don't necessarily think that every person,
when we feel stuck, has to go all the way back and redo heartwork. Now, I will tell you that
sometimes, and you guys have probably heard me say this before, sometimes when we go through
heartwork, what we're processing is so extreme in that season, that we can only, we only have so
much capacity to process in that moment. Okay. And so then when we go back through the heartwork
again, we may have additional things revealed that we did not see or know in the first time around,
because we didn't have the capacity the first time. And so I'm not saying that you shouldn't,
I'm just saying that you can go in and watch those videos. You can, you know, watch some of
the replays and things that are, I think you guys have replays in there, but you can go back and
read the book at any time. And I think that that will help you just as much. So go ahead and pray
about that area, whether you feel stuck or if, you know, is it the Lord telling you, you should
do heartwork again, or is it just you kind of second guessing yourself and just see what he
and then, and then let us know in the group. Okay. Okay. Thanks so much. All right. Awesome.
This has been a great night, you all. I'm so glad to be here with you. Let me pray us out. Father,
thank you so much for the truth, God, that you sent Jesus, who is the way, the truth and the
life. God, I thank you that you'll help us to receive the light of Christ tonight in a fresh
way. And I pray that you would help us to become more.
rooted and grounded in your love, Father, more and more and more in the days to come.
I pray that you would give them dreams and visions of what your love feels like,
what it sounds like. God, that you would awaken them with the fullness of your love. God,
that some of them will wake up in the next few days, even tomorrow, with a song on their lips
that will just really resonate in their spirit with what you're doing. God, I thank you that
you would help them to have ears to hear what your spirit is saying and eyes to see what your
spirit sees. I pray that you would remove any blockages that are remaining, God, and just
continue to cleanse us from the inside out. We love you, Lord. We're so grateful for everything
that you've done, everything that you are doing, and everything that you are going to do in the
days ahead. In Jesus' name, amen. God bless you all. So glad to be in this community with you,
and we look forward to seeing you in the groups the rest of the week. Have a good night, everyone.
Bye-bye. Thank you.