WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.520 Why do we get stuck in cycles? 2 00:00:06.520 --> 00:00:09.800 So you're finding yourself in a cycle. 3 00:00:09.800 --> 00:00:17.080 There are moments in life when we feel caught, trapped, in patterns that seem to repeat themselves 4 00:00:17.080 --> 00:00:23.320 no matter how much we may want it to change, and these cycles can come from many different 5 00:00:23.320 --> 00:00:24.320 places. 6 00:00:24.320 --> 00:00:29.080 Maybe you're wanting to escape pain when something feels too overwhelming. 7 00:00:29.080 --> 00:00:33.200 We can turn to old habits that bring temporary relief. 8 00:00:33.200 --> 00:00:37.640 I don't want you to shame yourself for that. 9 00:00:37.640 --> 00:00:44.600 I want you to get curious about what's happening, and then we'll get to some ways of disrupting 10 00:00:44.600 --> 00:00:47.680 the cycle and getting to what's underneath. 11 00:00:47.680 --> 00:00:52.160 We can also be in a cycle because it's our default mode. 12 00:00:52.160 --> 00:00:57.480 Our brain is wired for efficiency, so the more we repeat a behavior, the more automatic 13 00:00:57.480 --> 00:01:04.080 it becomes, even when it no longer really serves us. 14 00:01:04.080 --> 00:01:08.940 It can bring some sort of immediate satisfaction. 15 00:01:08.940 --> 00:01:10.960 Maybe it's an attachment wound. 16 00:01:10.960 --> 00:01:16.680 If love, safety, or connection felt conditional in the past, you may unconsciously replay 17 00:01:16.680 --> 00:01:22.960 old patterns in an attempt to receive what you didn't get. 18 00:01:22.960 --> 00:01:25.880 Those unmet needs can create cycles. 19 00:01:25.880 --> 00:01:30.520 If your deeper needs are going unnoticed or ignored, you may be trying to fill the void 20 00:01:30.520 --> 00:01:36.520 in ways that could leave you feeling empty rather than whole, and these cycles perpetuate 21 00:01:36.520 --> 00:01:37.520 themselves. 22 00:01:37.520 --> 00:01:40.640 But the beautiful truth? 23 00:01:40.640 --> 00:01:43.360 Cycles are not destiny. 24 00:01:43.360 --> 00:01:53.040 They are invitations to pause, notice, and gently choose a new way forward. 25 00:01:53.040 --> 00:01:58.800 It's time to disrupt the cycle. 26 00:01:58.800 --> 00:02:04.200 Noticing the cycle with gentle curiosity, step one. 27 00:02:04.200 --> 00:02:09.759 So rather than avoiding or running from it, let's look at this. 28 00:02:09.759 --> 00:02:11.920 What happened? 29 00:02:11.920 --> 00:02:18.000 What do you feel in your body? 30 00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:23.840 What thoughts might be in your mind? 31 00:02:23.840 --> 00:02:28.960 And what feelings are you noticing? 32 00:02:28.960 --> 00:02:40.840 Often, cycles, the more powerful cycles, you might notice feelings like fear or shame or 33 00:02:40.840 --> 00:02:45.240 longing or grief. 34 00:02:45.240 --> 00:02:55.040 It could even be a deeper feeling of terror, devastation, or just disappointment and frustration. 35 00:02:55.040 --> 00:03:08.200 I want you to pause and take a deep breath in, no judgment at step one, noticing the 36 00:03:08.200 --> 00:03:09.200 cycle. 37 00:03:09.560 --> 00:03:20.240 If you need to pause and just get curious, let yourself. 38 00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:26.040 Step two, meeting self-blame and shame with compassion. 39 00:03:26.040 --> 00:03:30.920 If self-blame is creeping in, take a breath. 40 00:03:30.920 --> 00:03:36.760 Let that part of you know you see it and you want to honor that part of you for trying 41 00:03:36.760 --> 00:03:39.000 to protect you. 42 00:03:39.800 --> 00:03:41.800 Self-blame is trying to help. 43 00:03:41.800 --> 00:03:43.800 Thank you. 44 00:03:43.800 --> 00:03:45.800 I see you. 45 00:03:47.800 --> 00:03:49.800 Am I being harsh with myself? 46 00:03:51.800 --> 00:03:53.800 What am I trying to protect? 47 00:03:55.800 --> 00:03:57.800 Am I trying to protect myself from getting hurt? 48 00:03:57.800 --> 00:03:59.800 From being vulnerable? 49 00:04:01.800 --> 00:04:05.800 Would I speak this way to someone I love? 50 00:04:06.600 --> 00:04:10.600 How can I invite compassionate self-care? 51 00:04:14.600 --> 00:04:18.600 Remember and imagine yourself in that light room. 52 00:04:18.600 --> 00:04:20.600 This is where he meets us. 53 00:04:20.600 --> 00:04:24.600 It's a place of grace and love. 54 00:04:26.600 --> 00:04:32.600 With his compassionate and tender gaze, what does he want you to know? 55 00:04:33.400 --> 00:04:35.400 How does he see you? 56 00:04:37.400 --> 00:04:43.400 Remember, he is our compassionate king priest. 57 00:04:45.400 --> 00:04:55.400 And he loves and accepts us no matter what we are seen and cared for and delighted in. 58 00:04:55.400 --> 00:04:59.400 We have the privilege of coming into his presence. 59 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:05.600 much of getting honest with ourselves and Him, that's what repentance is. 60 00:05:05.600 --> 00:05:10.560 It's a beautiful place where the truth really does set us free. 61 00:05:10.560 --> 00:05:19.520 So I am not failing, I am exchanging this shame for love, this compassion in these parts 62 00:05:19.520 --> 00:05:27.160 of me that are seeking an unmet need in a counterfeit way. 63 00:05:27.160 --> 00:05:29.240 I'm growing. 64 00:05:29.240 --> 00:05:37.240 I am worthy, I am loved, I am delighted in, and I am allowed to be a work in progress. 65 00:05:37.240 --> 00:05:39.660 Let's breathe that in. 66 00:05:39.660 --> 00:05:47.980 You are healed and sealed and signed with His name, and the Holy Spirit is in you, tuning 67 00:05:47.980 --> 00:05:52.480 in to the unmet need underneath the cycle. 68 00:05:52.480 --> 00:05:54.220 Step 3. 69 00:05:54.220 --> 00:06:00.560 Beneath every repeated dysfunctional pattern is a deeper functional longing. 70 00:06:00.560 --> 00:06:08.400 Let's look at what this could be, what am I truly needing right now? 71 00:06:08.400 --> 00:06:14.120 These are your desires, your hopes. 72 00:06:14.120 --> 00:06:20.360 Open up your heart to the deeper parts of you, maybe you haven't let yourself. 73 00:06:20.360 --> 00:06:29.200 Seeing those parts of you that have wonder and play and delight to feel seen and held 74 00:06:29.200 --> 00:06:34.740 and safe, what are you truly needing right now? 75 00:06:34.740 --> 00:06:37.800 What am I hoping? 76 00:06:37.800 --> 00:06:51.120 What have I hoped for, relief, reassurance, control, compassion? 77 00:06:51.120 --> 00:07:00.160 Let's honor those parts, they're trying to protect you, and underneath the deeper longing 78 00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:10.160 to be known and cared for and loved and seen and soothed and safe, those parts of you are 79 00:07:10.160 --> 00:07:11.160 beautiful. 80 00:07:11.160 --> 00:07:20.560 How can I tend to those underlying parts with care and love and kindness? 81 00:07:20.560 --> 00:07:34.360 I can want, I can desire, I can feel, I can honor those parts of myself. 82 00:07:34.360 --> 00:07:39.360 They are precious and beautiful and you are delighted in. 83 00:07:39.360 --> 00:07:47.200 Your king priest loves you and those parts of you he made. 84 00:07:47.200 --> 00:07:48.200 Step 4. 85 00:07:48.200 --> 00:07:51.960 Recognize the protective part within the cycle. 86 00:07:51.960 --> 00:07:58.160 Every cycle is a part of you trying to protect you from pain or offer comfort in a way that 87 00:07:58.160 --> 00:08:07.400 you once learned and as you're disrupting this cycle and learning a new way of tending 88 00:08:07.400 --> 00:08:17.240 and attuning and caring for those needs, asking yourself what part of me is stepping in that 89 00:08:17.280 --> 00:08:23.000 doesn't want me to look at these painful longings or hopes or desires? 90 00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:29.200 Is it a fixer, a pleaser, an avoider? 91 00:08:29.200 --> 00:08:35.960 What is it afraid might happen if I stop this cycle? 92 00:08:35.960 --> 00:08:39.000 What does this part need to feel safe? 93 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:45.200 I want you to honor those protector parts. 94 00:08:45.200 --> 00:08:50.800 They have done an amazing job. 95 00:08:50.800 --> 00:09:00.200 Is it time to go into the light room where there is grace and there is delight and there 96 00:09:00.200 --> 00:09:02.760 is dancing and joy? 97 00:09:02.760 --> 00:09:10.240 He died for you to be free. 98 00:09:10.240 --> 00:09:18.360 Let's get honest about those underlying needs and inviting his spirit in, thanking this 99 00:09:18.360 --> 00:09:24.080 part for its effort and letting it know I am safe now. 100 00:09:24.080 --> 00:09:26.600 He is with me, dear part of me. 101 00:09:26.600 --> 00:09:28.440 I see why you've stepped in. 102 00:09:28.440 --> 00:09:31.960 Thank you for trying to protect me. 103 00:09:31.960 --> 00:09:40.600 I don't have to cover this underlying desire and hope and want alone anymore. 104 00:09:40.600 --> 00:09:42.680 It's okay. 105 00:09:42.680 --> 00:09:45.120 I can let him in now. 106 00:09:45.120 --> 00:09:47.320 He loves me. 107 00:09:47.320 --> 00:09:51.720 I am safe in Jesus's arms. 108 00:09:51.720 --> 00:09:59.720 Step five, holding the longing with tenderness as you allow the unmet need underneath. 109 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:07.040 to be embraced and accepted and loved by the Creator of your heart and longings. 110 00:10:08.080 --> 00:10:17.920 He sees you and He loves you. He made you just right. He sees your longings and He knows them. 111 00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:21.840 They are precious to Him. You are precious to Him. 112 00:10:21.840 --> 00:10:29.120 How can I honor and love these parts of me without self-abandoning? 113 00:10:31.760 --> 00:10:38.800 I will tend to these parts of me with love and care. I see these parts of me and they get to 114 00:10:38.800 --> 00:10:45.360 have a voice and they matter. Tell Him how these parts of you feel and what they need, 115 00:10:46.800 --> 00:10:50.160 what you want, what you're hoping for, those longings. 116 00:10:51.840 --> 00:10:59.840 Step six, disrupting the cycle with that love and gentle care. 117 00:11:01.520 --> 00:11:08.800 What is one small compassionate choice that you can make? How can you tend to this part of you 118 00:11:08.800 --> 00:11:18.800 with kindness and love, inviting His heart, His posture towards you? I am safe. I am seen. I am 119 00:11:18.800 --> 00:11:28.160 soothed. I get to feel hope and longing and desire. What do I want? Letting those beautiful 120 00:11:28.160 --> 00:11:39.760 parts of you and wonder and play come into the Lightroom as He holds you, as He sees you, 121 00:11:39.760 --> 00:11:44.480 as He delights in you. What emotion needs kindness right now? 122 00:11:47.680 --> 00:11:52.240 Placing your hand on any part of your body that needs your attention and care, 123 00:11:52.960 --> 00:12:01.120 I see you and you matter. What thoughts can you gently release? 124 00:12:01.120 --> 00:12:14.880 In your soul, how can I align and integrate into the wholeness and truth 125 00:12:16.160 --> 00:12:27.520 and peace that is at my core in Him? Step seven, restoring peace and honoring the courage to heal, 126 00:12:28.480 --> 00:12:41.280 taking a deep breath. You are growing. It took a lot of courage to notice and disrupt. 127 00:12:43.520 --> 00:12:46.000 It takes strength to hold your longings, 128 00:12:48.560 --> 00:12:52.640 not self-abandoning, but attuning and responding, 129 00:12:53.200 --> 00:13:01.040 intending to those parts of you that have unmet needs. I am right here. I see you. 130 00:13:02.880 --> 00:13:10.000 You get to say what you feel and need. I see you and I am here. 131 00:13:11.600 --> 00:13:16.880 Jesus can also be invited in, your compassionate King Priest. 132 00:13:16.880 --> 00:13:30.000 His love holds all. Jesus breathed life into these places that feel weary, 133 00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:40.480 illuminate the longings that need tended to. Let this precious one walk in hand in hand, 134 00:13:41.440 --> 00:13:48.160 delighted in and loved. And would you speak whatever you want to speak in 135 00:13:48.160 --> 00:14:03.760 alignment with your healing, your truth, and your love?