All right, welcome to men's heart check in. And this is what November 24 week of Thanksgiving.
So, good to have you guys on here.
How many of you were on supernatural Saturday a couple days ago, or listen to it and replay anybody. I did. I was David.
Who else. I was on. I was on to Dave right.
Josh, were you there. No, no I was not. I was not but I walked by listen to it, you listen to replay. Okay.
I kind of, I kind of want to pick up on that and talk a little bit tonight about, I'm not going to talk I want you guys to talk. So I want you to think of
specifically of like the kazaza moment.
So in the supernatural Saturday Jackie picks up on the, the story of the prodigal son.
We all are familiar with this story, if you are not familiar with it I'd be shocked.
So I'm just going to assume most of you guys have heard the story at least once, probably if not 100 times, you're somewhat familiar with the prodigal son who left home, who left, wanting the inheritance and took the inheritance.
Albeit, I think the understanding is, and is told in the story that the sun is prematurely taking the inheritance, as would a young man
would if he's taking an inheritance at all.
He's usually taking it prematurely and prematurely in the sense that he's not ready to steward the actual inheritance, as it is.
And so he takes the inheritance, he demands the inheritance of his father's father gives it to him.
And then he goes out and just lives life on to his own way in his own reason his own accord.
He so much so is the party dude that he pretty much finances not only his life of indulgence, but probably everyone around him to the point where he expends it all.
Who knows how long the time that took or what that process looked like. But we all can imagine what that might have been like so much so that he ends up in the hog pen, he ends up.
And I don't know if you've ever visited a farm or ever did anybody have experience with like hog farming pig farming farm life at all.
Yeah, it smells terrible. Yeah.
It's a horrible job.
Yeah, I can. I've smelled it. I've been around it. I don't have any long time experience with it. But I can imagine, you can say that again need anything.
Yeah.
So this is the understanding so he finds himself, and he comes to himself, he comes to his senses, if you will, in this environment, he's not even working to tend the hogs he's literally just in the hog pen with them.
He's not even like I just I'm so low that I'm working at a farm no no he's not even working there he just like has nothing and finds himself living, you know, in this squalor.
And he has this thought that I should just go back to my father and at the very least I could just be a servant in the house of my father.
So he goes home with this thought that I could just at least be a servant in the house of my father, because it was understood that if you did what this young man did.
It was understood you were never going to be accepted back into the family, you had betrayed the family you had squandered it, you had done everything wrong, and so much so that you had ruined any chances of any further inheritance or further
inheritance of any involvement with the family or and even if you did show your face back in the community. There was a ritual that was performed in as Jewish custom would be when you came back to the house the household.
There was a village associated with this household.
It was not as so there was a community is like be you and going back to your hometown.
the community would meet you at the edge of the property, at the edge, at the city limits,
if you will. And they would take a clay pot and they would throw that pot at your feet on the
ground. And the custom, the breaking of the pot symbolized the fact that what you have done
was you have broken what cannot be put back together. And you have been kazazad, that's
the Jewish term, kazazad or kazaza. And you have been notified by the community that you can never
repay, you can never repair, you can never come back into as you were, once were, because of what
you have done. And you have been ostracized and excommunicated and so forth, and you are not
welcome here. So we all understand this part of the story, but you may not have realized this was the
tradition of the Jews to do this to someone who had behaved in the way that this young man had
behaved. And it was interesting because the story kind of leaves out that tradition, but you have
to understand Jesus was talking to Jewish people and telling this parable. So every single one of
them would have already known what the custom was in order to behave, in order to respond as a community
to this young man and what should have happened to him according to custom. So you're following
everything that's happening right here, right? So, but that's not what happened when this young man
actually comes to himself because the scripture says he came home and it says that the father,
seeing him afar off, seeing him from a distance, begins to run out to him to meet him.
This kazazah situation brings new meaning to the understanding of why the father would run
to the son. And if you were listening on Supernatural Saturday, you would have understood,
and if you're not there, it's not a big deal. But it was interesting that the father,
who was a father of the faith, he was a father of the household, he was a father, he was an elder
in the town. He was a statesman of sort, he was wealthy. He himself would have never,
a man of that age and of that status would have never found anybody like that running.
He would not run, he would not deign himself to lift up his robe to run after and go after. He
would be, people would run to him, people would come to him, people would seek permission from
him, people would seek wealth from him, people would seek out the elders and the fathers of the
town. He ran to meet his son. Why? He ran to meet his son so that he could stop,
he could, before the townspeople could come together, because word travels fast,
before he could kazazah his son, he declared what was going to happen to his son and it received him,
therefore putting aside the situation of the shame. So he disallowed the shame
because the father was present at the moment the son entered into the premises.
Such a powerful, powerful story. And why does Jesus tell the story in this way?
He tells us because he says this is the way the kingdom is. This is what happens
and we have all gone astray. We all being sons and daughters of God, but sons on this call,
we all have squandered our life. We all have fallen short. We all have made up our own mind
and decided that this was better. This was what we wanted to do. This was the way.
And even if you haven't felt like, well, I haven't been irresponsible and I haven't been
someone who has disobeyed and I didn't treat my parents wrong and I haven't,
oh, we have all in the way of sinfulness and the way of living life to our own
understanding, in our own way, have fallen short of this household of faith.
And God, when we are in the moment of coming back to him, God runs
us. He is eager to move towards us and move towards us fast in order to remove
any element of shame, any element of wrongdoing, and puts upon us a cloak,
restores our status, receives us in, receives us in with a hug and an embrace
and a kiss, and then also restores us as in our sonship.
And like, it's mind boggling to think about the application of this in everyday life,
in your life. Now what I want to explore tonight, I want to hear back from you guys is what
are some of the areas, and let's just focus on one, let's focus on one situation or one
thing that you have felt has been keeping you from the fullness of the sonship of God
in your life. Is there an area in your life? Is there a situation? Is there a relationship?
Is there a circumstance where you have felt kazaza? Maybe you have even done it to yourself
that you have said, I'm not worthy. I am not able to come into the fullness of what I think
is supposed to be happening here. I feel like a lot of men, especially, live in the shadows
of what could be, what maybe might be, what is possible, but just not for them.
Does that make sense? Where you feel like I see others, I see examples, I even see and entertain
invitations and receive others telling me something that I want to hear, but I just
can't bring myself to receive it, believe it, accept it, and so forth. So what are some things,
guys? What's maybe even one thing, maybe it's a situation, maybe it's a relationship, maybe it's a
something happened one time, maybe it's a behavior, maybe it's something you feel like,
oh, there's something wrong with me and I figured it out, this is what's wrong with me and I can't
get beyond this, whatever it is. What is something tonight, guys, that you feel like is holding you
back? I think for me, it's my messy house and just having a messy house, but also I have too much
stuff. So I just like, I like acquiring things, whatever, but like- You feel like it's holding
you back in what way, David? I think in the way of just like being free, like I want the Holy
Spirit or the Lord just to come and be able to enter into my home and not feel like there's
stuff everywhere, and so I made a business plan just to downsize and getting rid of everything.
You think the Holy Spirit is offended by the stuff that's in your home?
I think the mess, maybe I'm wrong, but like- I'm asking because I want to understand why you feel
like, you feel like this is holding you back in a sense of like hosting the presence of the Lord,
or do you feel this is holding you back because you're attached to these items and therefore
your focus is on them and not what you think it should be? I'm just trying to
pinpoint exactly what you're saying there. Yeah, those are all great questions. I think
on the one hand, I think it's holding me back because what if the Lord even brought my spirit
right to my front door? Would I be able to let her in and sit down and have a cup of tea? No,
right? It's holding you back because it's not being ready.
Yeah, and then also holding me back because it's, you're right, like I think for some of
this stuff, it's definitely become an idol in my life. And I'm like, you know, it's like,
what's God? Is God like this, the little, you know, Rolex watch in a box or is God, God,
you know? And so, and I think to my relationships with people as well was holding me back.
On Sunday, the Lord woke me up and said, I slept through all my alarms. And he said,
you're going to this one church. And I did not want to go there because one time in a prayer
meeting, the guy said, don't come back. And I didn't say anything in the prayer meeting. He
said, you know, Holy Spirit.
He said, you're not welcome here.
And the Lord said, you're going back to that church today.
So I did.
I went back.
And then during the sermon, the Lord said, you have not been kazazod.
I want you to tell the pastor what happened.
And I told him, and the pastor, and the Lord said to me, when you tell the pastor what
happened, he's going to greet you with a hug.
And he's going to apologize.
He's going to hand you his card and saying, I'm so sorry.
Let me take you to lunch.
And sure enough, you know, I was leaving and I told the pastor, that's exactly what happened.
So, yeah.
Um, okay.
It's thanks for sharing, Dave.
Um, who else?
Well, I will get back to some of these things here as well.
And I just want to kind of hear some more.
In what ways do you feel shame?
Um, in what ways have you been ashamed to behave in the way that is the better way or
the more appropriate way?
In what ways have you shamed yourself?
Because it's like, oh, anybody.
Well, I'll speak.
I'm not quite sure.
I know the full answer here, my answer to this correctly or not, but like, um, so this
is now my fifth meeting here, right?
With the Heart Check-In.
Um, so I think in my own upbringing, I was always felt unworthy, kind of rejected by
my family.
But I also, when I was young, I had a big nose and it was a source of a lot of ridicule
for me.
Frankly, my parents, parents actually recognized at one point, they arranged me to get a nose
job when I was like 17.
So but prominent enough to be a source of ridicule.
Also, internally within my own family, since I felt a lot of rejection from my parents,
like I've just never measured up to what they wanted.
And I was unworthy.
So the shame, I guess, portion of this would be that sense of not being accepted, whether
it was by my family, or the world around me.
So when I go into kind of social situations, and it's good to have a cold tonight.
So I'm a little bit, my voice is a little off.
So if I go into, like social situations, I find that I'm uncomfortable, because I feel
there's an attention on me that I don't want on me, you know, I feel like they're judging
me, they're looking at me, and whether they're going to measure up physically, intellectually,
you know, whichever way, right?
So I carry that into situation, I think maybe carry that somewhat into relationship as well.
And this is something that you still feel still affecting you even to this day, even
though you've dealt with it, or you've dealt with a little bit, maybe gotten used to some
of it, or not really.
Yeah, I would say I've dealt with it a lot.
Because in one hand, I mean, I was, it was extreme, right?
I was very young.
I mean, when I was, well, I should say, even in college years, I mean, I was terrified
to stand in front of an audience.
I could not, you know, in a corporate world, even I couldn't stand in front of an audience
or early in my career.
I mean, I say drill with some of that, yes, I dealt with some of that.
But sometimes I feel like some of this stuff, like, it hibernates for decades, right?
And then it resurrects itself at some point.
And it begins to manifest in different ways, you know, like when you were young, maybe
it's, you know, the feature of the nose, and maybe as you got older, I don't know if this
is true for your story, but just imagining how these things go sometimes, because maybe
it's not so much that physical trait, but maybe it's something else, then it's just
your general appearance.
And then as you mature, but then you feel, it's like, okay, it's not a big deal.
It's not the nose.
It's, you know, it's just my general appearance, general, attractive, it's, you know, am I
handsome enough to stand in front of a crowd and lead them and whatever, you know, like,
yeah.
Um, I mean, I can, I can, I can sympathize with feeling sort of like misunderstood, rejected
by my family.
I had a, you know, very loving mother, father, stepfather, and so forth, and very, it had
all my needs met.
But at the same time, I felt like I just always kind of felt lost.
And I felt like, you know, I was behind, like I was misunderstood for who I was and what
I could do.
do. And then I didn't feel like that was nurtured to the point
where but there was a certain part of me that was my ability
to do music and sing that was like a big thing that was like
championed and and celebrated in my life in church, but that was
it. There was like, I you know, nothing that if I wanted to be a
singer for the rest of my life, that would have been fine. And I
do love music. I love to sing. But at the same time, that isn't
what I've become in my life. And there's much more about what I
do and who I am and what I mean, to this life that I felt like
I've had to like, really work to come into. It wasn't just taught
to me. It wasn't shown to me. It wasn't like it wasn't like a
father came to me and said, you know, son, I see this in you and
let me help you bring this out of you, you know, type thing.
Let me show you how to be a businessman. Let me show you how
to build wealth. Let me show you how to, you know, to deal with
relationships. Let me show you how to lead in your community,
whatever, you know. And I had two fathers. And I felt to a
degree unfathered, in a way, as if I didn't have a father type
thing. So I, so those are just that's just one dimension of my
of my life. So I get what you're saying there, Bob. Thanks for
sharing. Who else has something that, you know, what do you feel
like as I want to say holding you back, but at the same time,
what do you feel that there is this part of your life that is
disqualified, maybe put it in those terms disqualifying you
for what you should or could or want to have? Or want to?
I would say the biggest thing that comes my way a lot is just
the past, especially like my sexual history. And that tries
to come in the way of it creates like this sense of shame, guilt
or unworthiness. Also, me and Christine just got engaged last
weekend. And thank you. And it's it's really exciting. We really
believe the Lord is pushing for this marriage quickly, like in
March, April timeframes, what we're thinking.
Let me ask you this, Josh, when you say your sexual history, are
you talking about sexual history with just in
relationships? Or are you talking about just sexuality,
your own behavior, your own situation? What is it?
I've never I've never had sex with anybody. Yeah, I would say
one aspect of death. One aspect of it definitely is maybe shame
and sexuality itself. Like one thing and it's very interesting.
I feel like almost like the Lord might be trying this may not.
Well, I think what the Lord is trying to deprogram is the way
that I would try to suppress sexual feelings. Okay. And
because that was like my fleshly way of trying to, you know, stay
pure. Yeah. But really, what it would do is it would just
exacerbate the issue. It wouldn't, because my eyes was on
the thing and not on Jesus. There have been a couple of
dreams I've actually had lately and I was telling a roommate
about it, where I walked into this old college dormitory, a
lot of tech and stuff around. There's this big dude that comes
in and I'm holding a knife to him and I tell him to get out
repeatedly and he won't get out. And almost like I feel
threatened or like he shouldn't be here sort of thing. And then
a couple of days later, I have a dream. I'm outside, like it's
kind of dark tone dream, campfire that's gone out. You
just ever had like a dark dream where it's just like, it's
weird, like everything's dark. Right. And then I turn around
all of a sudden I'm in my old bedroom. You ever had one of
those dreams where you just turn around, you're in completely
different space? Yeah. And there is this
Small mexican like gangster dude walks in through my bedroom door and is holding the same exact knife to me
And another dream where I run through that same bedroom door from his perspective
And i'm running
Towards the opposite end of the bedroom
Uh, and I see me standing there. It's like i'm running towards myself
And i'm screaming bloody murder at this other version of me
And
and
Really? I think the dream interpretation is quite self-explanatory. My roommate was
Helping me figure this out was he said well, it seems like
This is regarding yourself
Um, like there's something
That
either is in you
Or that you think about yourself that you don't like
Like yeah. Yeah, and that you are just like screaming at yourself
Pulling a knife to yourself, which could mean you're verbally attacking yourself, you know, or just
somehow you feel like um
So do you have a is there a history of pornography?
Is there history of like masturbation?
history of
You said you'd never had sex with anybody else
So that i'm assuming that that's kind of like where this is all
Been manifesting in trying to suppress any sexual desire over the course of your young life
Is that accurate or no
Um
I mean because i'll just go on while you're thinking about that. Um, yeah, because the thing about it is is uh
I mean in a young man's life. I mean, there's that's just that's just that's pretty
average
and normal for
this day and age
I'm, not saying it's right. I'm just saying it's normal and average in the sense that
Every man is going to be awakened sexually at some point how you get awakened sexually is
um
different and varied
Unfortunately, there's a lot of sexual awakenings that happen as a result of
abusive situation
Um, there could be you know, it could be young as a child at a sleepover
Uh, it could be you know
Being around the schoolmates. It could be around somebody, uh in the family
um
Very rarely anymore. Do you have?
people men and women becoming sexually awakened and active
uh
appropriately
So much so that when I say
Being sexually active or awakened appropriately. We don't even know what that means
Like we can't even define that like hey, you know
What is the best way to be awakened sexually, you know, you know when you come into your adolescence?
Yeah, we don't even know what that means. I mean, I don't even know that there's even a
Clinician that can talk to you like okay. Well the best way to become sexually active
Is you know and it's and then and then it's so in
It's so insufficient
With regard to especially in a religious context because like well, you just become sexually active the day you get married
Okay
I don't know what planet or what world you live in but that's not the reality of the age we live in
Yeah, i'm not saying again. I'm not advocating for
All kinds of sexual activity. I'm just trying to be right
Okay, so here's the thing here's the thing
you know
Many people have asked this question. I was a youth pastor for years. I was a high school teacher for a number of years
dealt with the student services director of college for
um
Four years. I mean I get it. I was a young person myself
I was trying to navigate all kinds of
Situations I was standing on a platform singing and ministering since I was 12 years old
In church, so I was in this religious
construct
Coming into puberty and here I was trying to be mr. Good church boy, but at the same time
Dealing with sexuality just like every other person
So and you ask in like well, what is the right way? Well, I don't know what the right way is
The right way is whatever your life
however your life went
and hopefully
if there was a
a
a sort of negative abusive situation
That was occurring with that sexual awakening
Then i'm i'm truly truly truly heartbroken. Sorry that that's the way it happened
and
And it's just really really difficult and it is a source of shame for a lot
lot of people, I would say probably most people. I don't want to put a percentage on it, but
I'm sure there's just most people's sexual awakening, especially men. And then of course,
this leads to like, well, what do I do now? You know, especially like, you know, in, if
you don't have a religious context and you're coming into this, you just kind of do what
everybody else does, what your friends do, whatever, like, Hey, you know, like, I'm just
going out with chicks. You know, I'm just trying to like hook up and doing this, that
party scene school, like college, whatever it is. But then if you're in a religious context,
then there's a, there's another layer that comes over top of it that tries to tell you,
suppress it. Don't do it. It's forbidden, dah, dah, dah, dah, blah, blah, blah. And
then it just, what makes you want to do it more? The forbiddenness of it. At least if
you're just a young person and you're just not in church and you're in the world and
you're just doing whatever, like feels good. I don't know. I don't know if there's necessary
because I didn't have that experience, but maybe there's the sense of like, well, at
least you don't have the religiosity to it. But at the same time, it's still as destructive,
still as damaging because the principles are universal. So I don't sound like I'm getting
to any like conclusions here other than to say that what you've experienced is real.
It is normal. It is life. It is, it is your truth because it's your, it is your experience.
What you want to do about it is surrender it of course, to the cross. You, there's no,
in no way can any man and sexuality is just a really, really, really good example of this.
And this can be applied to every situation. It can be applied to money, it can be applied
to relationships and be applied to profession. It can be applied to everything. And that is to say
that if you, if you feel shame around something, shame, isn't ever going to get you to do whatever
it is, right? If I shame you about mismanaging your money, then all you're going to do is feel
bad about having money and dealing with money. And you're going to feel shameful about taking
money or getting money. Or now what do I do if I have money, what am I going to do with it?
If I, but if I teach you, or if I don't, if I can't teach you, but I can encourage you to get
training on how to manage money and do money well, and set a budget and do the responsible
and right things with money. And here's how powerful money can be in the hands of a righteous
man. Now I'm training you and teaching you something. And I'm taking the element of shame
out, adding value to you. So the same thing happens with the sexuality. If I can say, Hey,
what happened to you and your sexuality and your sexual history in terms of whether it's
pornography or masturbation, or whether it's, you know having a hundred different relationships with
a hundred different people in one night stands or, or whatever it is, or there was some sort of abuse
or something that, that awakened your sexuality or was ongoing situation. We can deal with that
and we can heal from that. But at the same time, you also want to surrender it because the first,
first and foremost, um, what happened to you was your thing, but it wasn't you. Wasn't your fault.
We live, especially with sexuality. We live in literally a culture that is
sexually abusive all day long. It's just on front street. Ridiculous.
Not the least of which is everything that's on the internet is available to you at just
your fingertips. And so what I'm saying is, is that instead of trying to like white knuckle it
through life and all the areas that we want to get right, this, again, this could happen. This
could happen. Maybe sexuality isn't, you've got, you've got maturity in that area and you're like,
okay, I, I, you know, I'm not promiscuous sexually. I'm, I don't have an issue with
pornography. I don't have, you know, like that's not an issue. That's, that's a limiting behavior
for me, but my health is. And so what do I do about that? You can feel shameful and go eat
and then after you eat donuts, feel shame again and never get healthy. Or you could learn not
only how to get healthy, you could also learn the value of like why health is important.
And you could educate yourself to say, my goodness, my health is.
not only just like me living my best life now,
but like it helps me so that when I'm 70, 75, 80 years old,
I can actually enjoy my life and not have to be, you know,
hold up in some old folks home, just wasting away,
still alive, but can't enjoy my life
because I destroyed my body with my health.
You all feel where I'm coming from?
Like when this whole thing, like it's not about the shame.
If you are going to, this is why the story
of the prodigal son is so important
because it's not only the point of receiving the son
who came back into community and restoring his fullness,
but it's about the same thing happening over
and over and over again.
God's consistent posture to you is the heart of the father
to teach and train you and to raise you up
and to restore continually your sonship.
So the reason we're identifying the areas
that are holding us back is because we want to,
we want to expose the things that are,
that are holding us back, that we don't talk about,
or that we're afraid to mention, or we're keeping secret,
or we're keeping hidden because we're afraid
of what other people might think about it.
We're afraid or we're ashamed to say,
this is who I really am.
This is what's happened to me and this is how I operate.
And that keeps us bound in that area
rather than shedding light on it,
exposing it and realizing that that is the thing
that doesn't have power over me.
My willingness to keep accepting that
is the thing that has power over me
because the father is literally running from his house
to the edge of the property,
making sure that I don't have to have shame
in regard to this, that I can be fully restored
time and time and time again,
because Jesus paid the ultimate price.
And you say, yeah, but I've done,
but this has been happening so long,
it's been me doing all these things,
or I just keep, I can't ever get it right,
or it just keeps screwing up,
or this is my third relationship that I've messed up,
or I can't even get into a relationship
because of all the list of things
that I feel like that are disqualifying.
And those things need to be exposed.
They don't need to be talked about in a way like,
oh, this is what happened,
and this happened to me, and rehearse it.
It needs to be said and said aloud
so that it can be exposed for the fraud
and for the, for the,
for the limiting that it is.
You see, the son, when he was prodigal,
I mean, when he was away
and he was spending all of his inheritance,
wasn't actually behaving in who he really was.
Who was he?
He really was the son.
He was the actual son.
He wasn't just a fake son.
He wasn't some guy who was a part of the household
that took the money and ran.
He actually was the son.
He actually was the person
that was supposed to receive the inheritance.
And so when he was acting not like the son,
he was limiting his life.
He was debilitating.
He was resisting who he really was.
But when he came to himself and came home,
he was hoping to have some semblance of reception
to the point where like,
well, maybe I could just be a servant in my father's house.
At least the servants could eat.
At least the servants would have something to wear.
At least the servants would have meaning and purpose.
But instead, he comes home and he gets given restoration.
No shame.
The heart of the father sees him
and says, you are still my son.
You are the righteous offspring inheritor
of all that is.
All that what I have
So that is you
Jesus Christ went to the cross to be able to give that back to you
And you're like, okay
I'm not so sure and the question is it's like why why aren't you sure?
You
Anybody
Anybody want to respond to that
Did you say it again
Well, I was just saying that you know, if sons if God has restored your sonship as he did through Christ
Why don't why aren't we behaving acting like the sons that we are
Why are not we why aren't we not thriving in the ways?
That we could thrive as
sons of God
What is continuing to hold us back?
that's the really the question that needs to be answered and
And like Bob it's like Bob, you know is is your look still holding you back
You know, that's I mean I'm kind of asking this rhetorically but that's kind of like if you're identifying these things
Joshua is your sexuality still holding you back?
Dave is your house being a mess still holding you back?
I mean, is that the real thing or is there something else like the question to begs for you know
Do you sort of get to the bottom of like what's really happening here?
So I know that
You can be exposed
So I was watching one of the videos again. I'm on this week five to last session of the
Part right is one of the things Jackie was talking about was, you know
The the guy who believed but asked me for help my disbelief or my unbelief, right?
So yes, I believe but help me me with my unbelief. Yes
that
Here I think which is we're still human, right?
Yeah, and there is as much as we believe we are this inheritance. We have this inheritance. We have this right
We're free and we can be this strong. I think there still is an element of unbelief that
We respond to the world around us still right and let that still influence influence us
Negatively in spite of the people believe we we're not fully owning the belief that we have
Yeah, exactly. And that's the truth. And that's that's the thing because to me
That becomes the prayer
So that so like when you like, okay, so like what is it? I'm
supposed to believe it's true about me and
Usually it's helpful if you just pick one area
Let's just take for instance, this is take I don't have the money that I want to have in order to live
The life I want to live and now I don't mean selfishly. I just mean
If you had the money that you wanted to live in a way that you felt good about yourself
Confident about yourself be able to move forward in whatever way you wanted to move forward with you know
What money how much money would that be?
and if that is not what you are operating with then your problem in that regard that's
specificity is I
I don't make enough money or I don't have enough money to do what I feel like I want to do to
Accomplish something in my life to mean something in my life. So then the prayer becomes
Okay, Lord
What am I missing like help my unbelief
Begin to show me
Strategies that I can use to build wealth begin to show me
The the perfect
Intersection between my skill set and the job that would pay me what I want to make
Show me Lord help my unbelief
Show me and introduce me to the people that can open doors for me. See that becomes part of the prayer
Connected to the thing that you're putting that you want to believe for that. You want to believe to change in your life
Introduce me to the love of my life Lord
You
Know and then if you don't feel like that if you okay, here's here's a little bit of complexity. I get it
I know it's difficult if you don't feel like you're ready to meet the love of your life
Then you take one step back and go, okay, Lord, what is it going to take for me to step
into the confidence that I need that when I meet the love of my life, I'll be ready.
Make sense?
And that sounds overly simple, guys.
And it sounds over to like, oh, I'm not really sure that's about, that's kind of what I'm
trying to say to you.
It is actually really that simple.
It's not actually easy sometimes to get there, but we don't need easy.
We need what?
We need it worth it.
Like it's worth doing the effort to bring yourself into that level of confidence.
Maybe it's, you know, sometimes it could be just as simple as getting a new outfit, getting
a new pair of shoes because it's like, I feel good in these shoes.
I feel good in this outfit.
I feel good in, you know, driving this car.
I feel good in doing whatever.
I feel confident when I do this or when I go here or when I'm with these people.
Sometimes it's the people you're fellowshipping with.
It's like, oh, I wish I could be with these other people because they're just so much
more fun and they're exciting and they're, they think differently than I do.
Okay, well then like make that your new friend group.
You know what I'm saying?
There's so many different ways that you can bring about change in your world that leads
you to the better self that you want to be.
Like traveling abroad?
Yeah.
I travel.
I feel good when I travel.
I love to travel.
I want to go to places.
I spent two weeks in the Mediterranean.
Absolutely.
A thousand percent.
And how did you feel having been there and done that?
On one sense, I bet you felt like, hey, I did it.
I accomplished it.
I feel like I accomplished it.
I feel like while I wrestled and I, I feel like I accomplished, I won a state championship,
won a championship or something.
Exactly.
It felt like my parents are so proud.
My mom will always bring up and brag about how good of a son I am.
And she even talked, she got jealous and envious of the fact that I can go abroad and I can
come up with money that quick.
Amazing.
You just proved to yourself that you set your mind to accomplish a goal and you did it.
And you can, nobody can take it away from you.
Somebody can say, hey Hunter, you know, have you ever traveled abroad?
And you're like, yeah, I have actually, let me tell you all about it.
And you can tell them about your experience.
It's not my first one too.
I understand.
And then there's the singles cruise I'm coming in January.
I want to go big.
Awesome.
It's better than sitting on a plane.
That's a perfect example of something that you went after because it's like, hey, this
made a difference in my life.
I went somewhere.
I did something.
I accomplished this.
You know, if I could get, here's something I'm dealing with right now and you guys know
I've been talking about this for a long time and that is like, like I'm not a huge person.
I'm not a big person, but I'm over 200 pounds and I shouldn't be.
I'm 212 and I should be like 185.
But if I could ever get to the point where I break 200 in my weight, which I have not
done in probably well over 20, 25 years, I would be ecstatic.
And you're like, David, why don't you do that?
Why don't you like, what's, what's keeping you from doing this?
And I'm like, because it's me, I don't want to put in the work.
I don't want to put down the fork long enough to do it.
And I'm confessing this to you.
I'm telling you this, I'm, I'm real revealing this to you.
And you're like, but you're just saying all these things.
It's so easy.
Like, yeah, it is pretty simple.
I know what to do in order to lose the weight.
I know what to do in order to, but I am somewhere in my psychology.
I'm unwilling to do it.
I'm confessing that to you.
But at the same time, I'm constantly trying to fight that battle.
Not just like, not just like ignoring it.
It's like, okay, well, whatever.
This is just going to be me.
I haven't given up on it yet.
I haven't, I still get up every day going, you know what?
I'm going to try to not do this one thing.
I'm going to say no to this.
I'm going to fast in the morning.
I'm going to like, I do different things.
And some days, I'm really good at it and some days I'm not, but I have this.
The sense that one day I'm going to get this right.
I'm going to change this dimension of my life because I just don't want to be.
Um, I don't like the way I look, I don't like the way I fit in certain clothes, I don't like, I don't feel confident in certain ways, because of this.
My wife doesn't shame me. But I also know that she's unhappy with the treatment of my own self.
And you say, Oh, what shouldn't that make you feel like you would want to do that for her.
Well, I've tried. I've tried to do it for her but I can't do it for her.
I have to do it for myself.
Who's going to say amen to that.
I have to do for my I have to do it for myself.
I can't do it for anybody else.
I can't do it for myself.
Anyway, so, um, I just want you guys to really focus on the part that's kind of like holding you back in this.
And, and, and understand, like in the story that you have, like, if you've caused yourself.
Then, uncaused yourself and realize that the Father has run out to you, and has relieved you and released you from the shame of your predicament, and has welcomed you back into full sonship.
Is continually inviting you to take the trip.
You know, do, do the work to step into the relationship to stop the behavior that is continuing to hold you back
and receive it and say yes.
That's that's, I want that.
I receive and I'm gonna step into it and begin getting the wins that you want even if it's just one little thing.
There's some days where I'm like I did my list today, and I had a list of eight things and I did them all. And I'm so happy I'm so satisfied I did my work today.
Sometimes it's just a little win like that.
Other days it's like man I accomplished this thing I've been working on for six months, and it's finally done.
You know, Josh the fact that you're engaged the fact that the fact that you're like in a relationship to that to that level. That's awesome.
I think he's on right now I think he checked that he was having a battery issue, Josh pickle.
My computer.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Okay, guys, we're over on time, and I got a.
My wife's calling me already she's like, we don't where you going where yet.
So, I asked you a quick question though David. Go ahead.
So, you know, this is my fifth week here now and doing this and I suppose I think each week go through one of the questions at the end of, like, the part of that session didn't get a chance today, but now they've done it like, I'm not sure what is my next step
having done the five and done the reading and the books and stuff.
Well, I mean, the reason we have this heart checking call all the time is for that kind of resource for men.
There are co ed events that we have in the community I don't know if you've ever showed up to any of those.
Those are available.
As far as the coursing is concerned, you've completed the course.
But the other thing what I would encourage you to do is I would encourage you to revisit portions of the course, as it relates to the things you're working on.
So I would keep, I would keep doing the heart work, and not necessarily the course like over and over and over again, but the heart work protocol, the, the, you know, the surrendering the heart, revealing the truth that's, that's, that's the putting
the light on the things that need to be exposed, and then allowing Holy Spirit to help you process that releasing forgiveness where there needs to be forgiveness, and then stepping into the real you those are pretty much the basic tenants of heart work.
That process is meant to be something that is repeated very consistently in your life.
And sometimes, I mean, there's, I mean I still do heart work to this day.
And there are things that sometimes need to be processed through.
takes a couple days, sometimes it takes five minutes,
but I use the tool as a protocol
to be able to process things.
So whenever there's a memory, this is how we do it.
We don't encourage people to go looking
for these troubled areas.
We don't encourage people to go digging
to try to find stuff.
We just say that, hey, if there's a memory,
if there's a situation,
if there's something that happens
that brings up a pain point,
that brings up a memory or brings up an idea
where there's a pain and trauma associated with it,
whether it's fear or whether it's shame
or whether it's guilt or whether it's disappointment,
that is just an indicator
that there's a hard work to do there.
And you may just take five minutes to do it.
You may just take a few minutes.
You may sit with it for a day or so
because you're like, oh, this is a serious situation
and I'm trying to do some hard work over it.
And it may take a moment.
And then you just allow God to really process
and just really heal you again and again and again
to the point where eventually
those traumatic things don't have as much hold
or any hold at all over you, limiting you in that area.
And there's true freedom that could be had from that.
Make sense?
Yeah.
And then the other encouraging thing is after,
we are always wanting people
to go do their initial hard work.
But at that point, if it's about you
trying to find a relationship,
then now we're encouraging you to like,
hey, if that's your goal,
if that's what you like, I wanna be in relationship,
I wanna find somebody, I wanna find my spirit mate,
then that's your process now.
Because it's like, okay, now I'm ready to find,
go on a date, I'm ready to meet somebody,
I'm ready to talk, I'm ready to like try a date
here and there and see what happens.
And we have lots of support.
Like we have love seats and we have love stories
and there's different co-ed things that we do
to help process through that.
Even be spotlighted in the community for men especially.
So that's what it's about.
Okay, thank you.
All right, God bless guys, have a great week.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving,
whatever you're gonna be doing this week for Thanksgiving.
Hopefully you all have some celebrating to do in that way.
And I bless you in that and I just pray
that you'll just have a healthy, peaceful, enjoyable
time of gratitude and Thanksgiving with family and friends
and wherever you're going to be.
And I just bless that in Jesus name, Lord.
Let these men feel your love and your compassion
towards them and let them feel the strength
that is the joy of the Lord towards them
in everything they do and everywhere they go
in Jesus name, amen and amen.
God bless you guys.
Thank you.