All right, let's get started.
So we're going to do a little bit of Sunday activation.
So Supernatural Sunday, if you please, because I wasn't able to be there yesterday because
I was on an event.
I was at an event and also because I just jumped in the car from a wedding and it was
very inspiring.
Friends, this wedding, one of our guys, a guy that I've really been speaking into the
life of for quite some time now, and he married an amazing girl for him.
They're very young and just really excited for their future together.
But at the ceremony, and I'll post a little clip of video on my Instagram for those of
you that follow me on Instagram, but they did something really powerful.
And I found out at the reception, I was able to go to a few minutes of the reception.
I didn't get any cake, like I said, which I'm sad about because that cake looked real
good and I only eat cake at weddings.
That's kind of like the rule of my life.
But I got a chance to talk to the bride and the groom just briefly and told them how powerful
this one part of their ceremony was.
And she told me that it was kind of a last minute thing.
Like it just sort of happened.
It was more spontaneous than anything and it was really powerful.
So you guys know I go to quite a few weddings, I probably go to more weddings than any of
you go to.
I know people think that's all I do is just go to weddings like Jackie's always just going
to weddings.
And that's not true.
That isn't true.
I have been to a couple weddings this year.
And I have one more to go to that I'm actually officiating.
I'm helping to officiate here in just two weeks.
But besides that, I think I've only been to maybe three weddings this year.
So at the end of the day, at the end of the year, I think I've only been to five.
Now that doesn't mean that I don't get invited to a lot of weddings and I would love to go
to every wedding that I get invited to, but that's just not a possible thing.
It isn't.
In fact, I've had to miss the weddings of people that are very special to me.
People that I have been with, you know, for long periods of time, like as a private coach
or maybe even match made them.
I haven't even been to the weddings of people that I actually introduce match made with
each other.
So, so don't be offended if you give me your wedding invitation and I put it in a box and
I keep it.
I do.
I keep all of them that I get sent because they're special and sacred to me, but I don't
always get to come.
But at this wedding, you guys, I've seen people have worship services like full on worship
services at their wedding.
Okay.
Which are powerful.
That's great.
I've seen brides laying on the ground in the dirt in their white dresses, worshiping the
Lord.
You know, if that's you, boo, you go ahead and do you, but I don't think the Lord requires
all that.
You got a white dress on.
This is your wedding.
You don't got to be rolling around in the mud in your wedding dress trying to prove that
you love Jesus.
That's just me.
Okay.
It's just me.
But you do you, if that's what you got to do.
But I've been to everything you can think of.
Everyone's taking communion.
I've been to what felt like a karaoke wedding where, you know, everyone was singing different
things and foot washings.
I've seen foot washings like full on, full on.
Okay.
Let's go.
I've got to take off the hose, got to take off the shoes, got to take off, you know,
I've seen it all.
What'd you say, babe?
Oh, yeah.
Tying of the hands, tying of the bands, pouring the sand, nailing Jesus to the cross.
All the things.
All right.
Singing down.
I've seen the bride come down the aisle with the microphone mic'd.
Cheeky mama was mic'd singing, singing to her man.
My beloved, singing a song to her man.
Unfortunately, she couldn't sing that well, but it's all right.
It's okay.
It was a special moment.
I think that if you're going to sing at your wedding, please be a singer.
I think that's important.
I think that you should be a singer if you're going to sing at your wedding.
Otherwise, I don't know.
It'll be a special moment.
Fake licks at the rehearsal because they didn't want to kiss until the ceremony.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We've seen people wear those big wax lips, you know, put those big wax lips.
You guys know what I'm talking about when you were kids, the big wax lips.
Put those big wax lips on at the rehearsal because they didn't want to touch lips.
They want to have their first kiss at their ceremony.
So they were going to practice.
They're practicing the kiss with the big wax lips on, but they're not actually kissing
because they-
We're not condoning all this.
No, no.
Yeah.
These are not ideas for you guys.
Not necessarily.
If you want to steal them for your wedding, cool.
But I'm just telling you, I've been at all of the things, but at this wedding, okay,
first of all, they had a violinist and a keyboard.
That was the instruments.
And it was in a very beautiful, very windowed, high ceilings, good acoustics type of place.
It's one of the most diverse weddings I've ever been to.
There was every color of person under the sun there.
Every type of, and you know, the groom is a missionary's kid.
So, you know, just all kinds of different people, different folks, different cultures.
It was very diverse and I loved it.
And I'm so sad that we had to leave early because that dance floor was going to be lit.
When I tell you that that dance floor was going to be lit, I mean, these people were
dancing in line to get their food.
All the people at this wedding.
I've never seen such singing and dancing people in my life.
And we're sad because, you know, David Dorman likes to dance.
If you haven't ever seen him dance, the boy can dance.
And I have a theory.
People with big booties, like my husband, they have a lower center of gravity and they're
good at dancing.
They're coordinated.
They got coordination, right, because he's shorter and he's got like a lot of muscle
control because, you know, your butt's a muscle.
And then that's all I have to say about that.
People that are tall like me, have you ever seen a giraffe dance?
There's a reason why giraffes don't dance because they're not coordinated.
They have really, really long limbs, like long legs, long arms.
And trying to get all of that longness into coordination with each other is hard.
It's hard.
Okay.
So he pulls me out there.
He makes me do it, but I can't do it that well.
Okay.
So at the ceremony, the bride comes in.
She's standing in front of the groom.
They have a very, very funny officiant.
He was very funny, very, very wise, but also very funny.
And he says a couple things and then they start to play a song.
The violinist and the keyboard person start to play a song and everything has been instrumental
up until this point.
Like everyone's walking and no one is singing.
No one has been singing during this beginning of this.
Now go look on my Instagram if you guys want to see what was up.
Then all of a sudden during this song, which is a powerful song, You Are Holy, it's just
kind of a refrain over and over again.
I start to hear a voice singing and I realize that the bridal party has become a choir.
And you guys, the acoustics in that place, it was powerful.
And this bridal party could sing.
And it was just, I mean, I started to cry.
It was just so powerful.
And then pretty soon the bride and groom were also singing.
And then little by little, the congregation, the people, the audience, we started singing.
But at the beginning, it was just the voices and a violin and a light keyboard.
And it was just a choir.
It was just beautiful.
So I've never seen that happen at a wedding.
And if you guys want to steal that and your bridal party can sing, I suggest you do because
it was amazing.
All right.
So we are in a season of firsts.
You guys know that I released that word and last Supernatural Saturday.
And hopefully you guys have been activating it by doing things that you know you've never
done before.
Remember, it's important that you partner with the word instead of waiting for a first
to happen to you, which there are going to be firsts.
We're in a season of firsts.
So there are going to be firsts that come and happen to you.
So, you know, that the door just opens and you didn't try to open the door.
All right.
I went out and activated that word immediately that same day by going live on my Instagram
with my hair crazy and no makeup on.
I'd never done that before.
I did that.
And then I went over to the co-working space that we are, you know, that's in the space
that we own.
And I had my very first cup of coffee, my very first cappuccino.
I don't know how you guys drink coffee.
All right.
I'm going to say I'm going to stick with matcha.
I tried it.
It was a first.
I'm not a fan.
I'm not a fan of it, but I did it.
Why was I why did I do that?
Because God says it's a season of firsts and I want to activate that word.
So I'm encouraging you to do things that you've never done before.
Doesn't matter how small they are like that.
Have a first.
Maybe you can have a first matcha.
Maybe you've never had a matcha before.
Maybe you have never gone to a certain store that's on your street.
Maybe you've driven by it and always wondered, hey, you know, I wonder what that store is
like.
I wonder what's in that store.
Maybe it just opened.
There's very easy things to do.
That is a first time.
And what you're doing is is you're telling God, I'm going to do this.
at hey, I believe that it's a season of firsts
and I'm willing to get the ball rolling.
So if you did activate that word,
go ahead and put that in the comments.
Let's see who activated that word yourself
and maybe some of you had a first
that you didn't activate, it just happened.
Let's see it.
Someone posted in the app for the first time.
Someone did my matchmaking Christmas card.
I'm so glad that you guys did that.
My team worked hard on that.
I just, you know, I just, that idea,
I just was like, I think that I did talk about that idea
in years past, it wasn't just this year,
but this year is the first year that we had the team
like actually make something for you as far as a template.
Someone had their first matcha.
I hope you liked it.
I did a three-day water fast for the first time.
Wow, that's big.
Went to a Christmas market for the first time.
First, decorating my apartment with Christmas decorations.
Went to a new town, went shopping.
Cut down your first tree, that's amazing.
Went straight to the juice place and got a smoothie.
I never ate, drank there before, perfect.
Went to tour the tiny houses by myself for the first time.
Went to the nursing home to look for angel tree items.
Decorated my car for Christmas.
Oh, that's interesting.
Okay, so you guys see all these right here.
I let a guy pay for my meal and waited until he did.
That's the first time you've ever let a guy
pay for your meal, Alexandra?
Wow.
No, it was like, if they're not obvious about it,
I usually will offer, but I didn't offer, I waited.
Oh, you waited.
Okay, girl, I like it.
I like it.
Used successfully a hedge trimmer for the first time,
even with her neck injury.
First time taking care of a 15-month baby girl.
Gave a guy your phone number.
First Christmas parade.
First passion fruit chili drink.
You guys see, you're getting the hang of it.
You're getting the hang of it.
And friends, this is not a word with an expiration date.
God told me this is a whole season.
It's a whole season of firsts.
And so I really want to encourage you
to keep activating this.
And there's going to be firsts that just come upon you,
good ones, good firsts, that you're not activating.
Just go ahead and start priming the pump
and allow God to do the rest, okay?
Seriously, keep doing that.
And next Supernatural Saturday,
I think I'm going to be talking about,
unless Holy Spirit shifts it,
gonna be talking about this Advent season we're in,
because this is a season of miracles.
This is a season of miracles.
And so I love that we're in a season of firsts
and we're in a season just on the calendar of Advent,
which is a season of expecting the miraculous.
Isn't that powerful that those two things
are coinciding with each other?
God's telling us that we're going to experience first times,
good first times, and we're also just,
because of what time of year it is,
we are also in a time of expecting the miraculous.
You know, the word Advent means expectation.
The Advent season is about expecting that notable arrival,
the arrival of something notable, okay?
Obviously it was Christ that we were expecting,
but this season continues to be about expectation.
And so we'll talk more about that on Supernatural Saturday.
So I wanna touch on something that I posted
on my Instagram this week.
I was talking about a subject called no contact.
It's been talked about a lot in culture right now.
There's a lot of people posts about it.
Oprah did a special on it.
And it always is something that comes up a lot
during the holidays.
And as someone, me, as someone who had to go no contact
with my family about three times in my life,
I'm no longer no contact,
but there were three times in my lifetime,
in the 50 years that I've been alive on the earth,
obviously the time that I didn't go no contact
when I was a kid, well, I kind of did,
but that I've had to choose to not talk
specifically my mother.
And I wanna just talk about that for a second
if you guys will allow me to.
And the reason why I wanna talk about it
is because it's a very,
very painful choice to have to make.
Okay.
I don't want you to think that, you know,
a lot of people are very flippant about this subject
and that's why I wanted to post about it.
Because a lot of people don't need to go no contact,
they simply just need to have better boundaries.
No contact is not necessary.
They think it is because they're offended
and they're mad and they're angry
and they think that, you know,
it's kind of like their spitefulness.
And that's why they're doing it,
kind of punish the other person by your absence.
Your absence, yeah, the word I want.
But that doesn't work, okay?
So no contact needs to be used as the last resort
for when you are in an unsafe situation.
And I don't just mean unsafe physically,
I also mean unsafe spiritually,
emotionally, mentally,
where when you get around whoever this person is
that you need to go no contact with,
that it is so detrimental
to your physical, mental, spiritual health
that you have to stop, you know, talking or being with them.
Because that's, you know, the fallout is so great.
I would get around my mom,
I'd even have just a phone call with her
and, you know, my husband can attest this to you
because he was married to me
during one of the, two of the seasons
that I had to go no contact.
Two of the times that I had to go no contact,
I was married to David
and we've been married for 18 years.
And I had to go no contact
because I literally was in danger
of losing my mental health.
I crashed out so hard
after having contact with my mother
that one time I didn't get out of bed
for almost three months.
That's when you know you gotta go no contact, friends.
Okay?
Yeah.
Hard stuff.
And it was a hard decision too
because I loved my mother.
She's in heaven now, as most of you know,
but I loved her.
And in fact, I loved her more than I loved myself
and I so desperately wanted her affection
and her love and her reciprocation
that I was willing over and over again
to put myself on the line.
In fact, God said to me one day,
in fact, it was after this last crash out,
he said to me, he said,
I have surrounded you,
because I'm a girl's girl,
I have a lot of girlfriends,
I have a lot of, I have all of you.
I know there's guys on this call still,
but I have a lot of women in my life
and I have had a lot of women in my life for a long time.
And friends and sister figures and mother figures
and I've been in women's ministry,
ministering to women for 28 years now.
And in one way, shape or form,
ministering to women.
And God spoke to me that day and he said,
I have given you so many women that love you.
Then this is what he said next.
He said, but you continue to pine away
after the one woman who can't.
I have given you so many women that love you,
but you've continued to put yourself into a place
of destruction for the one woman who can't.
That was rough, y'all.
It was really rough.
And so I had to go no contact.
I did, I had to go no contact.
The last time that I went no contact with my mom,
I went no contact with her in July of 2017.
16, July of 2016.
I went no contact with my mom.
And I did not talk to her for almost a year.
And what happened next was David and I renewed our vows.
We had our 10 year anniversary back then,
you know, that was a long time ago.
And we renewed our vows.
We had a wedding.
I sent an invitation to my mom.
And because we were no contact,
I sent an invitation to my mom.
And I just little by little started talking to her
like over text message.
And then after we got back from Austin,
cause we went ahead and took a little honeymoon,
like a little three day trip to Austin
cause we were planning to move here to Austin.
And I went back home to Ohio where we lived.
And God said, when you get back to Ohio,
He had to go to Tennessee and I just assumed that he wanted me to see my grandmother who
lives there.
And so we went to Tennessee when we got home because I know when God's talking to me and
guess who was there seeing my grandmother, my mom.
I had been no contact with her so I did know that she was going to Tennessee.
And so I ran into her and we talked for the first time and then I started having a little
bit of contact with her and a little bit of contact with her.
And then I invited her to go do a Joyce Meyer conference with me in October and then a little
bit of contact with her and a little bit of contact with her.
And then I talked to her at the holidays at Thanksgiving and Christmas that year.
And then she confided in me that she hadn't been feeling good and her neck had been hurting
her a lot and she was just in a lot of pain.
And then she invited us to come down to Florida for January right after Christmas and to see
them.
And we showed up there friends and that's when when we showed up there.
That's when I took one look at my mom and I realized that she was dying.
I saw her sitting on the couch and I came in and I hadn't, you know, I hadn't seen her
since October and it was just only talking to her little by little by little.
And I took one look at her sitting there and she was emaciated.
And I was like, what's going on here?
What's going on with her?
Why hasn't someone taken her to the doctor?
She said her neck hurts.
Well, my mom had a fourth stage bone cancer friends when they took her to the doctor and
it was terminal.
And so God did lots and lots and lots of miracles in the next over the course of and that was
that was January of 2018.
And God did lots and lots of miracles over the course of the next two years before my
mom went to heaven.
She did her heart work.
I finally was able to talk to her and have a relationship with her that I'd always wanted
to have.
Obviously, it wasn't under the circumstances that I wanted it to be under.
But I'm just going to tell you that I do believe that the one of the reasons why my mom was
able to kind of talk to me in the way that he was at the end there was because of that
time of distance.
And that time of no contact.
And so sometimes it works out that way and sometimes it doesn't.
But you have to know the difference between needing to go no contact and you're just upset.
You're just mad.
You just need to forgive.
You just need to have better boundaries.
You just need to accept people for who they are and stop trying to change them and have
relationship with them on your terms.
If you know that, you know, they're racist and they say crazy things, you know, and it
really bothers you and you know that they're Christian nationalists and they're big Trump
fans and you're not and they're going to say kind of crazy stuff at holidays that really
ticks you off.
That's not that's not no contact.
OK, that's you got some cracked out relatives and they may even be your parents.
And all right.
You know, you're not going to change them.
You're not going to make them see differently, but you could just love them for who they
are and you don't have to swallow any of the poison that they're putting out.
Remember.
Sit next to poison.
I want you to take some Drano from underneath your sink and I want you to sit it on a chair
next to you at the table.
Just take it over to your dining table and sit it on a chair next to you.
And then I want you to see if you get poisoned.
All right.
I want you to even maybe go ahead and pour a little bit of it out on the table, whatever,
whatever toxic cleaner you got going on underneath your sink there.
And I want you to see if you're sitting there with it.
If you get poisoned by it, maybe don't use bleach because you don't want to bleach the
wood of your table, you know, but, you know, whatever else.
See if it poisons you.
It's not going to.
You want to know why?
Because it's only poison if you somehow ingest it.
You take it in.
You swallow it.
All right.
Yeah, it might burn your skin a little bit if you touch it, but it's not good.
You're not going to die.
Did you die?
No, you're not going to die.
But you, if you drink it, you're probably going to die.
So don't drink it.
Listen, do you hear me?
Now, I don't want anyone to get the instructions confused here.
Do not drink it.
I'm not telling you to drink it.
I'm telling you that poison is only poison.
If you read the back of it, it says harmful if what?
If taken internally, harmful if ingested.
And what does that mean?
It means that you don't have to take in what other people are giving out.
That's called boundaries.
Mickey's on here.
She learned that at the Austin Women's Retreat.
We did an activation.
She told us about her horrible mom.
situation and we said hey Mickey guess what you don't got to put you don't got
to take in what other people are putting out
it only affects you if you let it but if you understand that this person is
broken they're set in their ways you know they've been traumatized by someone
else along the course of their life and it's made them super negative and super
nasty and super judgmental and but you love them and you're able to be around
them without the poison poisoning you and you're like well Jackie why don't
you just do that with your mom instead of going no contact I will tell you why
I didn't do that with my mom because what she was putting out I was
swallowing you want to know why I was swallowing it because there was something
inside of me that believed what she was saying there was something inside of me
that believed what she was saying about me and that's why it was a toxic fatal
situation for me but if you do your heart work I hadn't even done hardly as
much heart work as I have now if you do your heart work then you don't have to
believe what other people are putting out and then there's some people that
you know they're just verbally violent and that was the situation with me as
well it's one thing for people just like you know they're talking about their
opinions and you don't like their opinions and you don't like their
opinions of your love life or their opinions of how you're raising your kids
and you know whatever and if they allow you to ignore them and just carry on
then you can put up boundaries but if they're the kind of people that get in
your face if they're the kind of people who don't want to be ignored okay
that they need to have the last word and they're gonna get you know they're
gonna scream they're gonna yell they're gonna rage now that's a cause for no
contact right but if they just think differently than you and they're
annoying boundaries annoying boundaries it's like that scene from Parks and Rec
overcooked chicken jail undercooked fish jail if you haven't seen it go ahead and
just Parks and Rec at jail google it and laugh because it's very funny so I put a
whole bunch of things in that carousel on my Instagram to kind of help you
judge whether or not it's a boundary situation or a no contact situation and
so I just wanted to release that over you guys tonight because we're in the
holidays and a lot of you are gonna be seeing people you don't usually see so I
want you to take a look at that decide what you need to do but the other thing
that I want you to do regardless of whether you're no contact or boundaries
is I want to talk about for just a second giving someone the gift of
forgiveness this year I want to talk about giving the gift of forgiveness it
is the most powerful gift that you can give it's the most powerful gift that
you can give to yourself or to someone else and it's also the most powerful
gift that you can give without even telling someone you're giving it most
gifts that you give you know you wrap them up and you hand them over this is a
gift that you may give to someone without even them having knowledge that
you have given it maybe they're not alive anymore on the earth they're alive
trust me they're alive somewhere they're just not maybe on the earth where you
can see them they're not in this dimension anymore but you can still give
the gift of forgiveness they don't need it anymore but you do you still need to
give it it's for you and something that I want you guys to know is forgiveness
is always for you it's not for them always always always for you always and
that's why I broke my heart when I saw this Oprah special where she had on this
hospice nurse this woman's vocation is helping people to transition what you
know when they're very very ill and they're leaving this life leaving this
dimension she's helping them you know taking care of them nursing them and she
doesn't know them she's not their child she you know they didn't raise her she's
not their brother or sister or their mother or father you know that she's a
but I have seen this woman's Instagram before so even before she was on this
Oprah special I had seen her and I had seen her talking about how she doesn't
judge people when she calls them
Because they're dying loved one wants to talk to them one more time or wants to ask for forgiveness and the person says no
She says I don't judge you
You don't you don't owe you don't owe anybody anything just because they're dying and I disagree. I
Disagree with that and this is why because forgiveness is for you and
The only person that you're robbing
when you do not
You
Grant the request of someone leaving this earth
To speak to you one more time or to ask for your forgiveness. The only person that you're robbing is yourself
That's it
just you and
If you don't think that that is going to feel terrible in the future
You can you know, you can be mad all you want to and your anger can keep you warm at night
If that's what you like, but sooner or later that anger is gonna dissipate
It really is and all you're gonna be left with is emptiness
Trust me
I've already lived this and I am so so so glad that
My mother was able to ask me to forgive her and I was willing to hear
That ask and can I tell you something? It wasn't that great enough an apology
And for those of you that are waiting for the great grand gesture of apology where they just name all the things that they did
No, my mom's apology was you know, honestly a little pathetic
It wasn't even really in the genre of what I want what would want her to apologize for
But she apologized for being them for not being the mother
That I needed that's basically kind of the blanket statement
She didn't apologize for the verbal abuse of the mental abuse. She didn't apologize for you know, sending me to live in a girl's home
She didn't apologize for telling me that she didn't believe me when I told her that my grandfather had been sexually abusing me since I
Was two years old. She didn't apologize
for line items y'all
she just
Apologized for not being the mother
That I needed and
You know what? I accepted that apology. This is for somebody tonight. I don't care. I'm gonna keep going
All right, it might not be your mother. It might not be your father. It might be a sibling
it might be a sibling who has always just been a real jerk to you and
You just and they don't even know that you think they're a jerk because you just are a people pleaser
You just take what they're dishing out you haven't even stood up for yourself
Or maybe you did and it's been the recent years that you've stood up for yourself. And now y'all don't talk
Because now that they know that you can't just be the yes person
They don't have any interest in being in relationship. I
get it
I've heard every story you can think of and I've lived a lot of them myself and
I'm telling you forgiveness is for you
So give yourself the gift of forgiveness
By forgiving others and maybe you need to forgive yourself
Maybe you're the villain of your story right now
Maybe there's someone out there that you've really wronged and they won't forgive you. All right, but guess what you can forgive you
You can forgive you
You can ask God to forgive you and you can forgive you
There might be someone out there that's really wronged you and you want to give them the gift of forgiveness and remember sometimes the gift
You give without them knowing because sometimes when you try to forgive someone that doesn't think they did anything wrong
That doesn't go over too. Well, does it?
Just call someone up and say hey, I just want to let you know I forgive you and they're like for what?
I
Haven't done anything to you
Anybody else ever had that happen
Anybody anybody is anybody there tonight or am I just talking to myself?
We're here right you're here
Here
It's kind of a rhetorical question, but I appreciate all the I'm here's
All right, you guys are tracking
So you try to forgive them and they're like, I don't want your dirty old forgiveness. I didn't do nothing to you. That's okay
and so you guys be discerning of whether it's the gift of forgiveness that you need to
secret
Santa to someone, meaning that they don't know that you're doing it,
but you're doing it.
Or if it's a present that you actually need to vocalize to them.
Doesn't matter. Here's the thing you need to know. Either way,
it's still supernaturally powerful.
All of you have read my book, The Heart Work, right? I'm assuming you have.
And so there's a story about forgiveness and the forgiveness chapter about a
woman that lived at the homeless shelter that I brought to church.
You guys remember that story?
For those of you that don't remember or didn't read it,
I worked at a homeless shelter.
I was going to school to be a social worker and I worked at a homeless shelter
in Ohio and there was a woman that lived in the shelter that to make a long
story short, it's a very funny story,
but I'm just going to make it very short. She was, I was very afraid of her.
When she initially came into the shelter, I thought she was a man.
She's a very tall, big person and she was a lesbian.
So she dressed like a man
and I wouldn't let her in.
I wouldn't buzz her in the shelter because I thought she was a man.
We had cameras that showed who was at the door and I had an intercom system and
I basically was just like, sorry, sir. You know,
only women are allowed in here. And she was like, I'm not a man.
So from the very beginning, she was not my friend.
She did not like me from the very beginning. I mean, I don't know why,
because it's like, Hey, listen,
if you look like a man and you want people to think you're a man,
then why are you mad when people think you're a man? Right?
It's like if it walks like a man and talks like a man, it's a man, right?
Wrong. It's not. It was a woman, a very, very big woman,
six, three, probably 350 pounds of woman.
So I buzzed her in, checked her ID. She was indeed a woman.
And this is back in 1997.
And I stayed away from her. She started living at the shelter.
She had a room there, started living in there. She didn't start living there.
I changed her name in the book, but her name is Rashawn in real life.
That was her name, Rashawn. And if she walked in the room,
I walked out of the room. If she came back to where I was, you know,
cause you know, I was in the kitchen or whatever.
Cause the homeless shelter is like, you know,
like a apartment building kind of, I would walk out.
I just avoided her because she, I felt like she was like growling at me.
Like she just, it was bad.
And so you can imagine my horrible surprise
when one day in prayer,
God says to me that he wants to give me,
he wants me to give her a prophetic word.
You know what that requires actually talking to her.
So I put that in my back pocket and I just really didn't have a lot of
intention of doing that.
I was putting out all kinds of fleeces before the Lord.
You guys know you've done it before too.
When God tells you to do something that you really don't want to do and you
really don't want it to be God telling you to do it.
And so you try to get all kinds of confirmations to just kind of get out of
it.
And one of those confirmations was like, okay, God,
if you really want me to say this to her, then, you know,
you'll have her come walk in. I was back in the kitchen.
You'll have her come in right now. And guess what?
She walked right into the kitchen.
And so I hurriedly just told her the word.
It had something to do with her being a chosen vessel of the Lord.
And I, I barely even, I mumbled it under my breath.
And she just stood there looking at me
and with a mean look on her face.
And then finally it felt like an eternity. She was like, okay.
She's like, someone else told me that on the bus, you know,
last week or whenever she's like, okay, okay.
She's like, all right, I hear you.
So I made it out alive. I gave her the word. I made it out alive.
She actually received it at some level.
And I think it was probably about a week later that she found me and she said,
Hey, I've decided to come to church with you.
She invited herself to come to church. She goes, I know you go to church.
He said, so pick me up and I'm going to go to church with you.
So I picked her up in my little Dodge Omni y'all. And she's six, three,
350 pounds.
And when I tell you that a Dodge Omni is about the smallest car you've ever seen
in your whole entire life, besides the smart cars that are out now.
And I am five, 10 skinny as a rail sitting on one side of it.
And she's six, three, 350 pounds sitting on the other side of it.
And the car literally was lopsided driving down the road.
Literally, one side of it was low to the ground on the side she was sitting in.
That's how small this car was.
And the entire way to church, she did not say a freaking word to me, you guys.
I was scared to death of this woman.
I was so scared of her.
She could have been a WWE wrestler.
She was scary.
We get to church, and my church is Pentecostal.
The church I went to was crazy charismatic.
This is the people that discipled me.
They were hanging from the chandeliers.
They were running around with bobby pins, flying and hitting people in the juggler.
It was bad.
Now looking back on it, I'm surprised I ever took anybody to that situation without trying
to explain it to them in advance.
And the pastor, he was not afraid of her.
After the service was over, everyone went up to the altar, as Pentecostals will do.
They all go up to get prayed for.
It doesn't matter if they need prayer or not.
Everyone's up in the altar area.
And so I went up there because that's what I do.
And I left her there in the pew by herself.
And I'm up there, and I'm praying, and pretty soon I feel a huge shadow just lurking over
me.
And I look up, and there she is.
And she's stone, y'all.
She's made of stone, face, body.
And she's like, okay.
She's like, I'm up here.
What do you want me to do?
And I was like, I don't, I mean, okay.
I'm assuming she needed to get saved, right?
So I'm like, put your hands up.
Tell Jesus you love him.
Like I'm just going through everything that I've ever been taught about anything.
Okay, well, raise your hands and, you know, say thank you, Jesus.
You know, I'm just going through all the Christian calisthenics that these charismatic folks
do at these Pentecostal churches.
Because I'm young, you guys.
I'm only like 20 something years old, 22, 22 years old.
And the pastor comes over, he's praying for people.
And he gets to her, and he says, you need to forgive your father.
I'll never forget it, you guys.
It was like yesterday.
He doesn't even say hello to her.
He doesn't ask me who my friend is.
He comes straight out with, you need to forgive your father.
You have never seen someone smash mouth like this lady did after he said that.
She immediately was like, no.
It was bad.
And if I was scared of her before now, I'm really scared of her.
I'm really scared of her.
I can't do that.
He's like, you have to.
He's like, God wants to bless you.
He said, your father, God, is standing by.
He's ready to bless you, but you have to forgive your father first.
No, I won't do it.
So he goes on and starts praying for other people.
And then I'm just standing next to her.
And then finally, I see.
I see what's going on.
And I'm like, hey, you got to forgive your dad.
You got to forgive him.
She's like, I can't.
I'm not going to do it.
And I was like, you have to.
You can't be forgiven if you don't forgive.
And I'm quoting whatever little scripture I know because I'm a new believer, essentially.
Okay.
And he comes back by the pastor does again.
And he goes, you got to forgive your father.
And she's like, no.
And he's like, God wants to bless you.
But he can't bless you.
It's not that he won't bless you.
He can't bless you.
Because blocked by your unforgiveness.
And you guys later on after this day, I would find out why she had to forgive her father.
I'd find out why she was dressed like a man.
I would hear years and years of incest and rape and all kinds of atrocious things that if I told you right now, you know, you probably wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.
So it's not like her unforgiveness wasn't warranted because it a thousand percent was.
Are you tracking with me?
This man didn't deserve to be forgiven.
For sure.
And had not asked for forgiveness either.
So the pastor goes away again and comes back one more time.
And he says, are you ready to forgive your father?
No.
And then he says, can you at least ask God to forgive him?
She thought about it for a few minutes.
And I thought she was going to say no.
And then she said, yes.
She said, I think I can do that.
I think I can ask God to forgive him.
And so he led her through a forgiveness prayer.
Very simple to ask God to forgive her father.
And I swear to you.
Guys, this is not hype. I'm not making this up. I'm not like exaggerating it in any way,
shape or form. This scenario unfolded exactly how I'm describing it to you,
except it was a little funnier. Like the whole thing, the whole thing.
Not this part, but like leading up to this part was funny. As soon as the words, God,
God, will you forgive my father came out of her mouth, it's as if she became a different person.
The rock that she was crumbled and you could see the woman. She didn't even look like a man
anymore. She looked female. She looked soft. She looked vulnerable. She looked smaller somehow.
And the next thing that happened just blew me away. She opened her mouth to say something more
and she began to speak in her prayer language. She was filled with the baptism of the Holy Spirit
with the gift of tongues in that same moment that she forgave her dad.
Now, for those of you that don't believe in the gift of tongues, I don't know what to tell you
because it happened right in front of me and it's actually happened to me as well. So I know that
it's real and true and it's not like for the people in the book of Acts. It's for people now
because it happens now all the time. And she was totally different after that day. In fact,
she's the one that gave me the nickname Jay and everywhere. Now, every time I walked in the
shelter, Hey Jay, what's up, Jay? What are you doing, Jay? Hey, Jay, I was thinking about,
I was reading the Bible, Jay. What do you think? I was talking, I was talking to God about this
and he was saying this and Hey Jay, you know, I think we should go do this. Do you want to go
do this with me? Uh, you know, I'm coming to your church again, Jay. Hey, Jay. Hey, Jay,
what you doing, Jay? I mean, every single day that I walked into that shelter,
that woman was a whole different person and it wasn't a long amount of time before she got out
of there. She got her own apartment. Things started turning around for her. I've lost track
of her over the years, but the last time I saw her, she had reconciled with some family members.
You know, she was, you know, um, not living in an alternative lifestyle.
She lives in her own apartment. I mean, just lots of breakthrough friends.
And so I just released that over you.
The ability to, if you can't forgive, maybe you could ask God to forgive them
because God wants to bless you. He wants you to live in freedom. There are so many
things on the other side of forgiveness just waiting for you. They're stacked up just waiting
for you and you can't access them. Not because God's punishing you for not forgiving, not because
he doesn't want to bless you. He can't because it's actually just against his word. You cannot
operate in the finished work of the cross. If you don't forgive, do you know that you're living
outside of the finished work of the cross? If you have unforgiveness, Jesus said, forgive,
and you shall be forgiven. You cannot be forgiven. Meaning you cannot access what
Jesus did for you on the cross. If you are living in unforgiveness, you can't do it.
And we see precedent of this all over the word of God. What about the scripture that says,
if you come and you want to worship God, but you know that someone else has a grudge against you,
they have ought against you, they have unforgiveness against you. Not even you have it against someone
else. They have it against you and you know about it. You know, they don't like you. You know,
they're mad at you. You know that they have an offense or a grudge against you.
It says, lay your gift down and go find them and try to make it right.
And then come back and offer your gift. The Bible talks about how we should treat people
that hate us and despitefully use us. It says that we should bless them. We should pray for them.
We should. And yeah, sometimes friends, we got to go no contact with people,
but it doesn't mean that we stop praying for them. Go no contact with them, but we give them
to God and we ask God to change them and help them. We realize that it's not a safe space to
be in contact with them, but it doesn't mean that our heart is hardened against them. And just
because we have to go no contact now doesn't mean it's forever. And even if we're not going to see
them again on this earth, we're only going to see them in heaven. We still can operate in the gift
of forgiveness towards them. So I want you to let Holy Spirit right now, got a few minutes left.
Bring someone up to your mind that maybe you started the forgiveness process,
but lately they've been wilding out again and you're mad at them again and you're just ugh.
You want to forgive them, but every time you try to forgive them, they do the next
stupid thing.
Right? Maybe they're your former spouse, and every time there's calm on the Western front, and you think everything is gonna be alright,
and you think you can finally just let go of all the crap that they've done to you,
they just do something more, something new,
and you're like, ah, here we go again.
Here we go again. You guys, Jesus died to give us access to so many things.
Not just salvation, not just heaven,
but heaven on earth, and
we can access that.
We can access that now here and now,
but it is on the other side of us forgiving others.
So let's, let God bring someone to your mind right now that you haven't fully forgiven, and forgiveness,
you know,
you might not feel like you've forgiven them, because the forgiveness cycle is not a full cycle.
You haven't gotten, you know, that healing in your heart fully yet, and that's okay. It's layered. It's layered. It's layer by layer.
Doesn't mean that you have unforgiveness simply because you still don't like them that much.
Forgiving someone is not liking them. In fact, forgiveness is not a feeling at all.
You don't have to feel okay about them.
This is a spiritual transaction.
It is obedience to God's Word, that's what it is.
Alright, so if you're ready to forgive someone, go ahead and put them in the chat. Who are they?
You're gonna give them the gift of forgiveness this year and it might be yourself.
Come on, put them in the chat.
Which one?
Okay,
David said he's gonna forgive his dad's, his stepdad and his dad, bonus dad and his dad.
I'm going to forgive... I
think I need to forgive my ex-husband. I was talking... I was thinking about him today and I have forgiven him y'all, I have,
but there's... there's some residue there still, there's some pain there still,
you know, I want to fully release.
It's really hard when,
you know, you got someone out there. Isn't it hard when you know that there's someone out there that hates you without a cause?
It's hard to be hated. It makes you want to hate them back, doesn't it?
When you know that there's someone out there that just thinks that, like they would be happy if something bad happened to you.
Does anyone else have someone out there that you think they would be happy if something bad happened to you?
And it's hard to know that there's someone out there like that and it makes you want to dislike them,
it makes you want to hate them back and
so I've been feeling a little bit of that lately towards my, you know, my ex-husband who is my daughter's father
and that's why it's even more important that I have a pure heart towards him.
It's even more important that I continue when these negative feelings come up in my heart that I continue to release him and forgive him.
Even just what you're like, Jackie, what would you forgive him for? You haven't done anything to him. I would forgive him for hating me.
I would forgive him for making me the villain of his story.
I would forgive him for continuing to come into agreement with a narrative
that he is the victim and I am the villain. I can forgive him for that.
See what I'm saying?
Now raise your hand if there's anyone here that just you can't think of one blessed person that you can forgive.
You just don't, just can't forgive anybody.
There's nobody, there's nobody that I need to forgive, nobody at all.
All right, I don't see any hands but if there is anyone here like this then just pray for the rest of us,
okay, just intercede for the rest of us tonight.
All right.
All right, you guys ready?
So you're gonna fill in the blank with whoever it is the person is
and I'm gonna lead you through this and we're gonna do this together. We're gonna give them the gift.
So repeat after me if you want to, if you're ready to. Father God,
we thank you for the gift of forgiveness.
We thank you that you gave us the gift of forgiveness when you sent your son, Jesus,
to die on the cross.
And we fully receive forgiveness and reconciliation for ourselves from the blood of Jesus.
And now we want to give someone else the gift of forgiveness.
Not because we feel like it, but because your word commands it.
And we want to be in obedience to your word because we know that your word is good.
And we know that you love us and you only ask us to do things that are in our best interests.
So, tonight, we choose to forgive, and I'll fill in the blank, I'm going to say Randy,
I choose to forgive Randy.
And then I want you to say next for whatever it is that you want to forgive them for.
So Father, I choose to forgive Randy for hating me, for thinking poorly of me, for holding
a grudge against me, for making me the villain of his story, for continuing to tell himself
and others that everything that has happened has been my fault, for not wanting good things
for me, the mother of his child.
I forgive him.
It's been almost 20 years, Lord, that we haven't been married, and I forgive him for not caring
for me, for not wanting good things for me, for not blessing me, being the mother of his
only child, Lord, I forgive him.
Come on, y'all, fill in the blanks.
Go ahead and take a couple of minutes, keep going, all the things you're forgiving that
person for.
I give him the gift of forgiveness, Lord, this holiday season, this Advent season.
I give him the gift of forgiveness, set him free, bless him, bless him, Lord, I pray for
him and his wife and their little adopted boy, I bless them, bless him, his little son,
bless them, Lord, I bless them.
And now the next thing I want you to say is, I cancel all Satan's authority in my life
because of unforgiveness.
There's no open door here.
All the doors are sealed shut by the blood of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit.
And I move forward into the abundance and the blessings of the finished work of the
And in this Advent season, I'm expecting miracles.
And in this season of firsts, I'm expecting joy, prosperity, breakthrough, exciting opportunities
and things that simply blow my mind in a good way.
In Jesus name, Amen.
Does that feel good, you guys?
Definitely felt good to me.
All right, friends, we have some exciting things coming up for the rest of the month.
We'll probably do some candlelight communion on Christmas Eve for those of you that can
join in, but look for the December calendar if you haven't already seen it.
I'll be back with regular Supernatural Saturday next week and we will do it on, who knows,
but I think maybe the season of miracles and I'll see you soon.
Love y'all.