WEBVTT

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Hey, everyone.

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Happy I had to think about what day it is.

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It's Tuesday.

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Y'all, it's already felt like a full week in two days.

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It's really amazing and fun to have a church and be a part of last year's single always,

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but especially in the Christmas season, y'all, lots of fun things happening.

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I'm so glad that you're here joining us tonight.

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If you've never met me before, I'm Bethany Cooper.

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I'm one of the master heartwork coaches here in the community and just on the executive

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team and just honored always to be here with all of you.

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I love seeing you.

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And I hope tonight some of you that I feel like there's some that have wanted to ask

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questions about heartwork, but you kind of just feel nervous to step forward and raise

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your hand.

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And so I just want to kind of set the tone right before we start tonight, that if that's

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you that I'm praying for you, that you would have the courage to ask the questions that

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you need to ask.

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I know it can be a little intimidating sometimes, but what I do know is the times that I myself

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have stepped forward and asked questions about this topic, you know, any area that I need

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heart healing, whether that was here in our community or in the past through other outlets

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and things like that, it is often the times that I've gotten the most breakthrough.

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And so I want to encourage you all to go ahead and step into that.

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If that applies to you, I'm going to go ahead and pray.

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We are going to talk tonight about giving the gift of forgiveness and ways that unforgiveness

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can block our love story.

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So that's kind of our core content, but I'm super excited to activate you all a lot.

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I want you to be very engaged tonight.

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So prepare your heart for that as well.

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I'm going to give you questions and I would love for you to respond in the chat.

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I know sometimes our chat goes really fast.

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So if I say one person's and I don't say yours, please know it is, please don't take that

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personal.

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Okay.

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Sometimes I just can't read as fast as the teleprompter in a sense.

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It's giving me your information.

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Obviously it's not a teleprompter, but sometimes it feels like that.

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Sometimes we're trying to read it so fast.

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And so please still engage because again, it's not so much about whether I see what

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you say and read it out.

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It's more about you identifying these things for yourself and speaking them out, texting

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them out, typing them out, whatever, because that's about you getting your breakthrough.

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All right.

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Father, thank you so much for this night.

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God, I thank you that you sent your son so that we could have forgiveness, so that we

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could be in relationship with you, God, so that we could be healed and delivered.

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And God, that we would receive revelation and have a connection with you in heaven greater

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than anything we could ever imagine.

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Lord, I pray that even like the man with the withered hand, when Jesus entered the tomb,

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you know, he's sitting there and he's kind of holding that hand, God, but you sent Jesus

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to him and asked Jesus to say to him, stretch it out.

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So Lord tonight, I pray that those that are here, that if there's any area where they

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have struggled to forgive someone, even some of them where there might be things subconsciously

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that they don't even remember that they don't forgive someone, because sometimes we're just

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surviving and that stuff just gets pushed down.

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God, I pray that you would help them to remember these things, that they would come to the

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surface and God, that you would give them the grace and the courage and the endowment

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of power from heaven, the same power that rose Jesus from the dead, that it's there,

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it's available to them, that you, Holy Spirit, are here with us and you're going to help

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us to stretch out our hands, so to speak, to you tonight, to extend the most vulnerable

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places, God, and to see like literally how when we do, that movement can come back into

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that limb, back into that place in our heart and that we would be just open, God, that

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our hearts, our minds, our spirits would be open fully to you tonight to receive all that

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you have for us and more and more and more in the days to come, that we would remember

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most importantly, that you love us, God, and that nothing can separate us from your love.

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In Jesus name, amen.

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So as we start tonight, just a couple of things I want you all to be thinking about as we,

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I know we hear forgiveness stuff a lot, being in the body of Christ, this is something that

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gets talked about and especially being here in a community where core principles of what

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we teach are rooted in heartwork and healing and forgiveness, repentance, confession, you

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know, that cycle that we take you all through over and over again, but I hope that we don't

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underestimate the power in forgiveness and that it doesn't become kind of like, oh yeah,

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I've heard that before and I'm still stuck.

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Every single day we have an opportunity for an upgrade.

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And so I'm asking you just to kind of posture your heart in a place where no matter how

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many times you've heard about forgiveness, that you believe, not just, not because of

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me.

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but that you believe that God tonight is going to meet you here and he's going to give you,

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even if it's one nugget, he's going to give you something that you need to step further

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into freedom tonight.

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So we're talking about the most powerful gift you can ever give, not just to other people,

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but to yourself and to your future love story.

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I want you to understand again, imagining that every time we choose to forgive and we

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choose to keep these short accounts, that it's impacting the things that are in our

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future to come, that it is releasing.

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It's like a divine exchange.

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It's releasing things from heaven as we choose to do it.

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Many of you have been praying for your spirit mate, but as Jackie and I were chatting, we

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had something else planned and I just kept feeling like we needed to do heart work again.

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And I almost was like, okay, is it just because I always want to do heart work, you know,

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or is this really something that your spirit is saying that the group and the community

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needs this month during December?

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And Jackie and I landed on, she kind of came in Sunday night.

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If you haven't heard that activation from Sunday night, I hope that you listen to that.

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That's where she really initially activated this, giving the gift of forgiveness.

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And then on the heels of that, I want to help you all unpack it a little bit more tonight.

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And so what we believe is that some of you have been praying for your spirit mate, but

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unforgiveness is potentially that thing that is keeping, it's actually blocking what God

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wants to give you.

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And here's what the important aspect is here.

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The blocks that we experience are not God being unwilling to give us something.

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It's often rooted in our capacity to receive the thing that he wants to give us.

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I'm going to say that again.

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The blocks that we experience are not because God is being unwilling to give us something.

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It's often rooted in our capacity to receive a thing or not.

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So we're going to talk first about the capacity connection factor and how important

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capacity is. And I don't know if you guys, even the last couple of months, I've kind of put

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capacity into the sessions in one way, shape or form, because that is something that God

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has continued to speak to me personally over and over again.

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Everything is about capacity.

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And so why forgiveness unlocks our love story?

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We need capacity to number one, perceive it.

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So that's the first step.

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Do we have the capacity to perceive that God has a spirit mate for us?

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And not just a fleeting thought because you're in this community and you hear it all the time, but do you

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actually have the capacity in your mind to perceive, like to literally perceive yourself getting

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married, to perceive yourself in the spirit realm, encountering your spirit mate?

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And this isn't like to shame you if that's something you struggle with.

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But I believe God wants to increase your faith tonight.

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Because guess who is the capacity increaser?

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It's the spirit.

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It's the spirit that breathes life.

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God literally created stuff out of nothing.

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Do we think that he can't create the capacity within us to perceive a thing?

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That's why the man said, I believe, help my unbelief.

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Why did he say that?

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Well, he believed it, but yet he was struggling to perceive it.

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Until we encounter something, sometimes it's still hard to believe that that thing can come to pass.

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So if you're struggling to perceive it, if you're struggling not just to imagine it in a fleeting

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moment, but to literally have an encounter where in your soul, in your spirit, you are envisioning,

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you are feeling that spirit mate on their way.

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Long before I met Brian, I started feeling a ring on my finger.

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I could sense it in the spirit.

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Literally when I went on, and this was all the way back in 2021 in May, the first retreat that Jackie,

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that I know of that she ever had, I went on that in Austin.

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It was the first Austin retreat we had.

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And before I even went on that retreat, it had started happening just random times.

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I wouldn't even be thinking about my spirit mate.

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And I would start to feel this weight on my ring finger.

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And I was like, what is that?

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You know, and after talking to the Lord about it and talking in our group, that's how I came to know,

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like, oh, it's because I'm feeling it in the spirit.

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I'm perceiving it.

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Do y'all see that?

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Do you see that connection?

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Okay.

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Then we need the capacity to receive it.

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So we need the capacity to perceive it in our minds and then to literally receive it in our hearts and in the physical realm.

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Oh, God wants to give us all kinds of blessings,

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including our spirit mate.

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Obviously, y'all know I'm married already,

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but I had to perceive it first.

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God also gave me a dream.

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Now, I didn't see my spirit mate in the dream, y'all, okay?

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But all I knew was in my dream, when I woke up,

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I knew that I had met my spirit mate

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and I heard the Lord say, he's coming soon.

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Now, God's soon isn't always the same as our soon.

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Again, it's about what we perceive,

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but I knew in my spirit that God was continuing

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to encourage me, that my spirit mate was on his way.

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And that gave me another level of capacity to receive it.

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Unforgiveness creates blocks in our capacity

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to both perceive and receive.

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So if you're struggling to perceive it

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or get prepared to receive it,

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most likely somewhere within yourself,

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there is unforgiveness.

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There might be other blocks as well,

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but unforgiveness tends to be one of the biggest things

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that blocks people's love stories.

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Our family of origin wounds often create

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the deepest blocks to love.

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Our family of origin wounds often create

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the deepest blocks to love.

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If you went through a really hard family of origin story,

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one of the things I want to say to you

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is that I have been too.

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And I want you to know it's not impossible

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to learn how to love in a healthy way.

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It's not impossible to receive the blessings

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that God has for you, but it starts first

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with the perceiving, letting God change our minds

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and healing our hearts so that we can not,

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we can understand what he's going to do for us,

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then receive it.

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And so here's what I want you to put in the chat.

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Here's activation number one.

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Let me change my screen so I can see the stuff

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y'all are putting in there pretty quick.

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All right, what's one family pattern or wound

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that you think might be blocking your capacity

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to receive love?

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I don't want you to overthink this.

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I want you kind of as quick as it comes to you,

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put it in the chat.

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What's one family pattern or wound

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that you think might be blocking your capacity

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to receive love?

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All right, I have some coming in here.

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Always having to be right, divorce, to be honest.

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Let's see, feels very foreign thought.

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Okay, that's okay.

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Rejection, rejection again, criticism,

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being critical, judgmental spirit, lack of communication.

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I don't think it's by coincidence.

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I was actually thinking about critical things

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right before I got on tonight

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and there were three right in a row.

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So I feel like that's a confirmation.

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I might need to touch on that

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even though it's not in my notes.

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Lack of communication, abusive men, being critical.

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There's rejection right in a row again, shame.

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All right, you all, fear of being seen,

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emotional and verbal abuse, feelings of inadequacy,

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showing, excuse me, lack of showing affection.

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All right, so I want you guys

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to keep putting those in the chat.

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Again, this is about you releasing that stuff

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and understanding now tonight,

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not only are you gonna put that in the chat,

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but I hope you remember it because the family pattern,

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the family core area is part of what God wants to go after

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in you tonight and in the days ahead.

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When I was praying, I ended with,

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God help us to become more and more rooted

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and grounded in your love.

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I talk about this all the time.

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The more that I perceived God's love for me,

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the more I was able to receive his love for me.

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The more I was able to perceive myself

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as his beloved daughter, not an orphan,

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not someone he kept at arm's length

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and would maybe trickle a crumb down to me on occasion.

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No, God was saying, you're my daughter,

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like you get to come close.

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Everything that is mine is yours.

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And the more that I could perceive that,

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the more I was able to receive it.

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And it's literally helping me step further

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into healthy relationships and dynamics.

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Keeping healthier boundaries and all of the things.

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It's like an organic ripple effect, if you will.

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So I want you to take these things to the Lord this week

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and just ask him, is there still a block

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connected to my family of origin

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that is causing me to not be able to receive your love?

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And even sometimes we receive it,

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but then something happens and it fleets away.

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It's like fleeting, it's gone.

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But the reality is, is when we actually

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in the core of who we are in our identity,

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we know that we are loved.

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Nothing, it's literally scripture says,

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nothing can separate us from his love.

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So even the rejection that we experience

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does not separate us from his love.

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not have to separate us from His love. It's whether or not we believe we're still connected

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even when we make mistakes. All of those things. It comes into play. Here's a key quote for our

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session tonight. This is actually Martin Luther King Jr. I love this. It is so powerful.

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This is what it says. We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive.

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He who is devoid, devoured, however you say it, of the power to forgive is devoured of the power

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to love. Think about that. If we're not willing, if we're not choosing to forgive,

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it actually is impacting our ability to love. They go hand in hand.

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Jesus literally on the cross is like, forgive them Lord for they don't know what they're doing.

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It was literally a continual flow of His love to those people even as they were doing things that

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weren't good. So on that note, I want to kind of just say one more thing and we're going to go into

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the next part of tonight's forgiveness is a gift that we're going to give to other people.

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But forgiveness along with repentance and confession is the only thing that has the

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power to put you back in touch with your authentic identity. So just by a raise of hands,

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how many of you in the last, let's just say two to three weeks, have had some level of

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attack against your identity and who you are? Go ahead and raise your hands.

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All right, so I'm bringing that up and I want you to see that I have had it too. Okay, so I'm in

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this party with you, but what I want you to understand is that when we feel separated from

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our authentic identity, it's not actually true. It's that we perceive that we're disconnected

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from our authentic identity. When we walk in forgiveness, when we choose to repent,

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when we choose to confess, it literally reconnects us in that broken feeling. Okay, so what I'm

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saying to you is if nothing separates us from God's love, nothing really fully in the spirit

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separates us from that original identity. But here's what happens inside of our hearts,

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inside of our spirits, we believe we are disconnected. Okay, I want you to put your

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hands down. I'm going to ask you another question that just came up in my spirit.

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Thank you for putting your hands up on the last one.

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And I want you all, I just saw someone say, I've been fighting something this week. I want

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really busy. He's been really busy attacking the body of Christ in the last few weeks. And so I

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just want you to know you're not alone and that God is for you. So who could be against you? So

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I'm just putting down these extra hands before I ask this next question. Okay, so we talked about,

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I had you raise your hands if you had some kind of level of disconnect regarding your authentic

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identity. Now, what I want you to identify is in the attacks that you've been facing or the

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struggles that you've been having, did you at some point believe the lie that you are not loved?

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Raise your hand if that applies to you. And even if you didn't have the disconnect with your

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authentic identity, but if you struggled with something in the last few weeks, I want you to

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identify, did I at any moment believe that either A, I wasn't loved by God or B, I wasn't loved by

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somebody else. Or thank you, Lord. C, you did not feel loved by yourself. Like you didn't extend love

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to yourself. All right. So quite a few of you, and I want you to know that it's okay. I feel like it's

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really important for us to extend a lot of grace to ourselves, not only tonight, but every single

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day. You know, this is a constant process where we are renewing our minds. We're being transformed

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literally day by day by day as we continue to surrender these things to the Lord. Okay. So you

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all can put your hands down for as many of you that are able to get on your phone. Normally I

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can do that really quick, but Zoom has changed something. And so I don't, I can't see how to do

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that for everyone really quickly. So the next thing I want to talk about is forgiveness is a choice.

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Just reminding you, I know you guys have heard this before, but I feel led to just kind of hone

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in on it again tonight. It's a choice. It's not a feeling. You're not always going to feel like

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forgiving people. You're not always going to feel like doing something

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kind for someone that's been hurtful towards you.

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So I want you to understand it's literally the power that God enables us with. Again, remember

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the power of the, excuse me, the same power that rose Jesus from the dead is living in us,

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and that's what enables us to forgive even when it's hard. But so often I think we feel like we're

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just doing it on our own, like in our own strength. And so if that's been you, if you've been partnering

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with just trying to struggle and do this on your own, in your own strength, I want you to just

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really take some time even after this session tonight to pray and reconnect with the Holy

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Spirit and connect and say, thank you for helping me to forgive even when it's hard. Thank you for

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being my comforter. Thank you for being my counselor and my guide. You're my ever-present

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help in times of trouble and in times of victory, like he's with us. He's with us in everything.

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So there's nothing that we ever are going to have to do ever again without his help.

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Forgiveness, again, not a choice. It's a feeling, or excuse me, forgiveness is a choice. I said

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that backwards. It's not a feeling. And so we want to choose forgiveness as Ephesians 4.32 says,

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forgive one another just as God forgave you because what Christ has done.

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Y'all, anytime I ever struggle with forgiveness, if I will pause and just think about Jesus dying for me,

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he died for me so that I could be forgiven.

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And then I think of, well, gosh, how can I hold that, like withhold that from someone else

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because he died for them too. I just want you to kind of just remember to sit with that for a little

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bit, you know, and not like to shame yourself, but it is just this kind of, you know, the Bible has

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in Psalm that Selah, that pause and reflect. I feel like this is a reminder to pause and reflect

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in this season. Colossians 3.13 in the NLT says this, remember the Lord forgave you,

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so you must also forgive others. You don't have to reconcile with them in order to forgive them,

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you all. If you didn't see Jackie's post on Instagram and social media recently,

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I think it was last week sometime, she actually talked about this a little more in detail. I know

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this isn't a tricky time of year. You know, some of you have family that you're going around and

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it's really, really hard. And for some of you, it's very, very toxic. I want to encourage you

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to set really healthy boundaries and only go to the places that the Lord is telling you to go.

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Maybe for some of you, the best thing you can do to step into forgiveness is A, forgive them,

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but also B, it might be to go spend the holidays with someone else so that you're not in this

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place where people are mistreating you. And then you're getting more and more and more wounded,

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and it's just adding to the problem. Forgiveness is about your freedom, not their worthiness.

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Here's the reality. I'm going to share a little bit of my story with you all. Some of you might

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have heard this before, and it's not my in-depth story, but I felt led to share this with you

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tonight. For those of you that don't know this, my mom and I did not have a good relationship.

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When I was younger, I thought we did, but the older I got and the more I stood up for myself,

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the less we had a good relationship. She really walked in a lot of manipulation and control.

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There was a lot of narcissistic tendencies, and she was very depressed when I was younger. I spent

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a lot of my childhood trying to make my mom happy, trying to help her get out of bed.

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She did work. She had a full-time job. She worked part-time too. And so there were a lot of things

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she did really well, you all. So it's important for me to say that to you as well. But she was

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a single mom, four kids. I was the youngest of four. There were a lot of things that happened

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in my home that as a mom myself, I can't tell you how many times I thought to myself, how did my mom

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not notice this stuff was going on? Why were we allowed to go into bedrooms and have the door

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shut with both genders in the room? There were just things that I'm just like, how could this

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happen? And so there was a season of my life where I really judged her, and I had to learn how to

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come out of that and forgive her for that. But the story aspect that I want to share with you tonight

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is my mom also was very verbally abusive towards me. And then she would also go on social media and

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do these posts about her favorite child.

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And you all, it wasn't me.

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And that's, you know,

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A, I don't think parents should do that at all,

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but it was very, very difficult.

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And so when I would message her like,

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hey, why are you doing that?

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Like, that's just not healthy.

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Literally, it would never go well.

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Lots of retaliation, lots of reaction,

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a lot of continual verbal assaults and all the things.

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And I'm saying that to kind of set the stage

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for what I'm gonna say next.

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In, let's see, I would probably say

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maybe January of 2022, maybe a little later than that,

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my mom found out that I moved to Indiana

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because I didn't tell her in advance

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because she was getting very jealous.

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And I knew that's what was happening.

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She was jealous of what God was doing

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in my relationship with Brian.

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My mom was single for a really long time

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and she wanted to be married again.

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That didn't happen for her.

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And I'm really sad for her that it didn't.

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There were a lot of things that she went through.

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My mom had an aneurysm in 1998 when I was in college.

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Like there was just a lot that happened

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that held that back for her,

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including her own unwillingness

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to get the help that she needed.

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But leading up to that,

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I just felt like I couldn't trust her.

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And so I was in this community.

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I was getting wise counsel.

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I knew I was making really healthy choices for myself.

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I decided to move to Indiana.

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I'm an adult.

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I can make that choice for myself

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without asking my mom's permission.

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And so I moved to Indiana

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because Brian and I wanted to date more locally

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and all the things.

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It was very, very good.

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But when my mom found out that I moved

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and didn't ask her if it was okay,

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she sent me all these messages.

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Like, I mean, you all so much.

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And so we had words about that.

400
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So this was about January of 2022.

401
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It was very, very difficult.

402
00:27:09.700 --> 00:27:11.600
I can't tell you how many conversations

403
00:27:11.600 --> 00:27:14.100
Jackie Dorman and I had about my mom

404
00:27:14.540 --> 00:27:16.280
and how to process this.

405
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Because in a season that I should have

406
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like been able to invite her into all this happiness,

407
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I felt like I had to put up a lot more boundaries

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and hold her at a distance.

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Because if I didn't, it was very painful and harmful.

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And so all that to say,

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00:27:36.720 --> 00:27:38.980
one of the things Jackie asked me to do,

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and she probably asked me if I'm being honest

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in like February of 2022, the first time,

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where she said to me a lot of what she said to you all

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00:27:48.660 --> 00:27:50.780
that were on the Sunday night activation

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about praying to send a card to someone

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or a gift to someone that you need to forgive

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or that they've done something wrong

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and that you're still gonna bless them,

420
00:28:00.560 --> 00:28:01.960
through the Lord's leading.

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And I remember hearing her say it

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and I'm like, I'm not doing that.

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I don't wanna send it.

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You wanna know what I thought?

425
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I thought she doesn't deserve it.

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I really did.

427
00:28:16.220 --> 00:28:17.980
And I felt that, that I felt that way,

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but that is genuinely how I felt.

429
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I'm like, she keeps doing this to me, Lord.

430
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Like, you know, I know, forgive 70 times seven.

431
00:28:25.480 --> 00:28:27.160
I know that and I forgive her,

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but like, I don't think I should do something nice

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for this really bad behavior.

434
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That's what I was thinking.

435
00:28:36.500 --> 00:28:39.280
So that was around February of 2022.

436
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The Lord continued to work in my heart about this.

437
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And then I believe we had,

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I had another conversation with Jackie Dorman around April.

439
00:28:50.780 --> 00:28:53.040
And she approached me about the same topic again.

440
00:28:53.180 --> 00:28:55.300
She's like, Bethany, I really feel like

441
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you need to forgive your mom.

442
00:28:56.920 --> 00:28:58.340
I'm like, I have forgiven her.

443
00:28:58.380 --> 00:29:01.020
She's like, yeah, but I feel like you need to send her

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00:29:01.020 --> 00:29:02.880
a gift and tell her you love her.

445
00:29:03.960 --> 00:29:07.000
Well, Mother's Day was right around the corner, you all.

446
00:29:09.020 --> 00:29:10.860
And I really did pray into it.

447
00:29:10.860 --> 00:29:12.980
And I felt like God told me I needed to do it.

448
00:29:14.320 --> 00:29:17.560
And so even though I didn't feel like it, you all,

449
00:29:18.420 --> 00:29:19.600
I chose to do it.

450
00:29:20.820 --> 00:29:22.180
And when I got her a gift,

451
00:29:22.260 --> 00:29:25.320
I didn't get her this little, very teeny tiny gift.

452
00:29:25.380 --> 00:29:27.720
I got her this really, my mom loved chocolate

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00:29:27.720 --> 00:29:29.040
and she loved fruit.

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00:29:29.160 --> 00:29:31.140
And there was some other things that I got her too,

455
00:29:31.160 --> 00:29:32.440
but I got her this really big,

456
00:29:32.520 --> 00:29:34.080
she was in a nursing home at the time.

457
00:29:34.400 --> 00:29:37.860
I got her this really big edible arrangement

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00:29:37.860 --> 00:29:39.800
and it got delivered and had a balloon

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00:29:39.800 --> 00:29:41.400
and it said, happy Mother's Day.

460
00:29:41.400 --> 00:29:44.660
And I did include a card and I thanked her

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00:29:44.660 --> 00:29:46.120
for being my mother.

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00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:49.780
And I thanked her for the times that she chose

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to stick around because you know what?

464
00:29:52.520 --> 00:29:53.800
As a single mom,

465
00:29:55.380 --> 00:29:57.880
she could have chosen to give me away to someone.

466
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.880
But she didn't. She chose to keep me.

467
00:30:02.560 --> 00:30:05.280
Even though she did not want me and did not plan for me,

468
00:30:05.340 --> 00:30:06.960
my mom did choose to keep me.

469
00:30:07.540 --> 00:30:09.960
And while my life was really, really hard,

470
00:30:12.380 --> 00:30:14.380
even more so since she's passed,

471
00:30:14.620 --> 00:30:16.460
so many times I've thanked God

472
00:30:16.560 --> 00:30:18.660
for helping my mom not give me away.

473
00:30:20.840 --> 00:30:23.940
And you know, the reason that I'm telling this story tonight

474
00:30:23.940 --> 00:30:26.320
is that was early May of 2022.

475
00:30:26.440 --> 00:30:29.020
It was Mother's Day, it was May 8th in 2022.

476
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:32.080
My mom was thrilled.

477
00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:34.480
She posted about it on social media.

478
00:30:34.680 --> 00:30:35.700
She was so excited.

479
00:30:35.920 --> 00:30:38.240
You know, she sent stuff to her sister about it,

480
00:30:38.240 --> 00:30:40.120
sent stuff to me thanking me

481
00:30:40.120 --> 00:30:43.560
and all the kindness stuff started coming back out in her.

482
00:30:45.520 --> 00:30:48.880
And then she got sick again,

483
00:30:50.060 --> 00:30:51.420
really, really sick again.

484
00:30:51.420 --> 00:30:53.220
And she went back into the hospital

485
00:30:53.300 --> 00:30:57.280
and my mom died on May 29th of that year.

486
00:30:58.260 --> 00:31:01.620
21 days later, after I sent her that gift,

487
00:31:01.860 --> 00:31:03.200
my mom passed away.

488
00:31:04.480 --> 00:31:06.720
I had no clue that that was gonna happen.

489
00:31:07.460 --> 00:31:09.960
My mom had had a lot of health issues over the years,

490
00:31:10.080 --> 00:31:13.180
but I still had no clue that that was coming.

491
00:31:14.100 --> 00:31:15.040
But God did.

492
00:31:16.080 --> 00:31:17.440
Y'all, I have no regrets.

493
00:31:18.440 --> 00:31:19.440
I have no regrets.

494
00:31:20.960 --> 00:31:25.260
Giving her that gift was me ushering in a conversation

495
00:31:25.260 --> 00:31:27.620
that her and I had before she died.

496
00:31:28.760 --> 00:31:30.820
And if you have been in that situation

497
00:31:30.820 --> 00:31:32.720
and you didn't get that kind of conversation,

498
00:31:32.740 --> 00:31:33.480
I'm really sorry.

499
00:31:33.500 --> 00:31:35.420
And I know that broke God's heart for you too.

500
00:31:35.900 --> 00:31:38.940
But I really want you to release that expectation

501
00:31:38.940 --> 00:31:43.140
to the Lord and really fully release that person.

502
00:31:44.640 --> 00:31:46.120
Release them for what they didn't do.

503
00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:49.440
Like I said, my mom was a single mom.

504
00:31:49.440 --> 00:31:51.960
I'm not excusing the unhealthy things,

505
00:31:51.960 --> 00:31:56.320
but I absolutely have been able to see the gold

506
00:31:56.320 --> 00:31:58.100
in the things that she did do.

507
00:31:58.860 --> 00:32:01.740
But I have to ask God to show it to me sometimes.

508
00:32:02.560 --> 00:32:05.340
There are moments where it's still hard for me

509
00:32:05.880 --> 00:32:09.220
to understand having a mother's heart,

510
00:32:09.620 --> 00:32:11.760
how my mom was towards me.

511
00:32:13.360 --> 00:32:17.340
But when I choose to step out of judgment and criticism

512
00:32:17.560 --> 00:32:21.140
and harshness towards her, I choose to forgive her

513
00:32:21.140 --> 00:32:22.940
and allow God to show me things.

514
00:32:23.080 --> 00:32:27.760
He continues to open my heart to understand more.

515
00:32:28.460 --> 00:32:31.160
And so here's my question for you.

516
00:32:32.200 --> 00:32:33.760
This is what I want you to put in the chat.

517
00:32:38.080 --> 00:32:39.820
Yes, Melissa, I see what you said.

518
00:32:39.880 --> 00:32:40.320
Thank you.

519
00:32:40.340 --> 00:32:41.160
That is so true.

520
00:32:41.460 --> 00:32:42.500
This is the question.

521
00:32:42.700 --> 00:32:45.840
Who in your life needs the gift of forgiveness tonight?

522
00:32:49.260 --> 00:32:53.080
Who in your life needs the gift of forgiveness tonight?

523
00:32:53.280 --> 00:32:55.080
You don't think they're worthy of it,

524
00:32:55.080 --> 00:32:57.620
but God is saying to you tonight,

525
00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:00.280
hey, I want you to forgive this person.

526
00:33:00.420 --> 00:33:01.640
For some of you, it is you.

527
00:33:01.740 --> 00:33:03.080
I love that you're putting that in there.

528
00:33:03.200 --> 00:33:04.420
I love that you're seeing that.

529
00:33:04.960 --> 00:33:08.780
And hopefully you're feeling that in a lot of ways

530
00:33:08.780 --> 00:33:11.400
so that you can step into that more and more.

531
00:33:12.340 --> 00:33:13.960
Okay, keep putting those up for me.

532
00:33:15.340 --> 00:33:15.820
Get in there.

533
00:33:15.820 --> 00:33:17.200
Again, I'm not gonna go ahead and read all these.

534
00:33:17.320 --> 00:33:19.220
I'm gonna just let you put those up in the chat.

535
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:24.320
And here's the next part of this application

536
00:33:24.700 --> 00:33:29.020
is what would choosing forgiveness look like practically?

537
00:33:29.900 --> 00:33:35.060
So in my example, I felt led to send her a Mother's Day gift

538
00:33:36.260 --> 00:33:40.640
and not just a small gift, but I kind of splurged on her.

539
00:33:42.700 --> 00:33:45.640
So what would it look like for you to choose forgiveness

540
00:33:45.640 --> 00:33:47.740
practically towards this person?

541
00:33:47.840 --> 00:33:49.580
And if you're not sure yet, that's totally fine,

542
00:33:49.580 --> 00:33:52.080
but just where you start to open your heart and your mind

543
00:33:52.080 --> 00:33:54.320
to what that might look like for you.

544
00:33:55.800 --> 00:33:58.180
And remember in this, I heard the Lord just say,

545
00:33:58.720 --> 00:34:02.720
this isn't about us begging, okay?

546
00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:04.860
When I sent my mom that gift,

547
00:34:04.940 --> 00:34:06.900
I never mentioned what she did.

548
00:34:08.260 --> 00:34:11.400
I just sent the gift and I blessed her in the card

549
00:34:11.400 --> 00:34:13.520
and said, thank you for being my mother.

550
00:34:14.199 --> 00:34:15.360
Thank you for encouraging.

551
00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:16.739
She used to send me these cards

552
00:34:16.920 --> 00:34:19.080
like when I was in college the first couple of years

553
00:34:19.080 --> 00:34:23.260
to encourage me, I got really homesick a lot surprisingly

554
00:34:23.260 --> 00:34:26.600
because I had a really tough home life, but I got homesick.

555
00:34:27.000 --> 00:34:29.340
I think that was some of the codependency kicking in,

556
00:34:29.380 --> 00:34:32.840
honestly, but my mom used to send me these really nice cards

557
00:34:32.840 --> 00:34:34.360
and I appreciated that.

558
00:34:37.639 --> 00:34:39.900
So living that out, walking it out,

559
00:34:39.900 --> 00:34:41.960
what is God saying to you tonight about it?

560
00:34:42.100 --> 00:34:43.980
The next part we're gonna talk about

561
00:34:43.980 --> 00:34:46.300
is forgiveness preparing us for love.

562
00:34:48.040 --> 00:34:52.520
I had already met Brian, but I definitely had not,

563
00:34:53.340 --> 00:34:54.420
well, you all would know this,

564
00:34:54.739 --> 00:34:56.780
but I had not introduced him to my family yet.

565
00:34:57.660 --> 00:34:59.940
When my mom got sick, Brian

566
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.480
I had just gotten engaged on May 19. So I sent my mom the gift on May 8, May 19. Brian

567
00:35:05.480 --> 00:35:10.100
and I got engaged in California. When I was in California is when I found out my mom got

568
00:35:10.100 --> 00:35:14.620
sick again and had to be like put back in the hospital. And then like I said, she passed

569
00:35:14.620 --> 00:35:23.360
away on May 29. My Brian met my mom and my brothers and sisters. Probably I guess I went

570
00:35:23.360 --> 00:35:27.660
we went to the hospital on May 28 because we got there literally the day before she

571
00:35:27.780 --> 00:35:35.980
passed away. So Brian met my family the day before my mom passed away. And that was because

572
00:35:35.980 --> 00:35:39.140
I just wasn't comfortable introducing him to my family. It had nothing to do with him.

573
00:35:39.200 --> 00:35:44.440
It had to do with my family. And everybody's different, y'all. That's something I talked

574
00:35:44.440 --> 00:35:49.220
to him at length about. I wanted him to know that it had nothing to do with him. So y'all

575
00:35:49.220 --> 00:35:55.400
will have to navigate your own stories. But I absolutely believe forgiving my mom was was

576
00:35:55.400 --> 00:36:00.960
very important in my love story. Forgiving my dad was really important in my love story.

577
00:36:01.660 --> 00:36:05.680
But I also want to share another story with you a little bit tonight. I don't know as

578
00:36:05.680 --> 00:36:10.780
many details and I have permission to share this with you. But Renee and Brian DeVorey,

579
00:36:10.880 --> 00:36:15.800
as you guys know, Renee Rizzo, Rizzo, that's who she used to be. I actually sometimes I've

580
00:36:15.800 --> 00:36:19.560
typed Renee Rizzo and then been like, oh, wait, she's not Rizzo anymore. She's DeVorey

581
00:36:19.560 --> 00:36:26.480
now. But anyways, newly married success story from our community. One of the things that

582
00:36:26.480 --> 00:36:32.780
as we were talking about tonight as a team that came up was Renee, for those of you that

583
00:36:32.780 --> 00:36:38.100
know or don't know. Gosh, I don't know how long ago it's been now, but her dad passed

584
00:36:38.100 --> 00:36:45.500
away within the last couple of years. And after he passed away, there was a lot of things

585
00:36:45.500 --> 00:36:52.480
that came up out of Renee that she had to process that did not come up before he passed

586
00:36:52.340 --> 00:36:57.840
away. And she had to work extensively through that stuff. Lots of conversations with Jackie

587
00:36:57.840 --> 00:37:03.120
and myself and, you know, outside sources. And I think people that she was working with

588
00:37:03.120 --> 00:37:11.720
on that as well. But here's the other interesting factor. Her now husband, around the same time

589
00:37:11.720 --> 00:37:19.340
that God was leading her to forgive her dad. Or excuse me, that her dad passed away, his

590
00:37:19.340 --> 00:37:25.460
mom passed away. And so while Renee was processing forgiving her dad, Brian DeVorey was

591
00:37:25.460 --> 00:37:33.280
processing forgiving his mother of some massive things, you all. Massive things. One hundred

592
00:37:33.840 --> 00:37:41.080
percent believe that their processing of those wounds, of those situations prepared them to be

593
00:37:41.320 --> 00:37:49.120
able to receive each other. They both had to work with through that deep forgiveness so that they

594
00:37:49.120 --> 00:37:54.600
could, again, remember, not only perceive it, but be able to have the capacity to receive it.

595
00:37:57.200 --> 00:38:03.140
So here's the other beautiful thing. God used their individual forgiveness journeys to prepare

596
00:38:03.140 --> 00:38:10.660
them for each other. They did not meet until they had both done the heartwork to clear the

597
00:38:10.660 --> 00:38:15.480
blocks that would have prevented them from recognizing and receiving their spirit mate.

598
00:38:16.720 --> 00:38:22.700
Forgiveness often breaks generational patterns off of us. Healing in one area often ushers in

599
00:38:22.700 --> 00:38:28.000
blessings in other areas. So maybe for you, maybe it's not just your spirit mate. Maybe it's that

600
00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:36.500
promotion you've been seeking. Forgiveness ushers in blessings. It ushers in the ability to

601
00:38:36.600 --> 00:38:43.860
insight from heaven about a thing. Do you know that bitter roots actually quench the flow of

602
00:38:43.860 --> 00:38:51.140
the Holy Spirit? Resentment and bitterness and unforgiveness all hang out together.

603
00:38:51.780 --> 00:38:57.600
So if you're not forgiving someone, you most likely have bitterness and resentment hanging

604
00:38:57.600 --> 00:39:04.600
out on the inside of you. And you all, we're not, this isn't about perfection. I think that

605
00:39:04.600 --> 00:39:10.800
every single day we have opportunities that are presented to us and things that people say or

606
00:39:10.800 --> 00:39:16.020
things that people do that hurt us in some way, shape or form. Sometimes we have great days and

607
00:39:16.020 --> 00:39:21.800
that stuff doesn't happen and that's amazing. But this is where again, keeping short accounts

608
00:39:21.800 --> 00:39:27.840
and forgiving people. God often uses our forgiveness journey to prepare us for what

609
00:39:27.840 --> 00:39:35.000
wants to give us. Your spirit mate right now might be waiting for you to clear the blocks

610
00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:44.700
that would prevent you from recognizing them. I absolutely believe without a doubt in my mind

611
00:39:44.700 --> 00:39:52.180
that the healing work that my Brian did and the healing work that I did, that is what enabled us

612
00:39:52.180 --> 00:39:59.980
to actually see each other. Brian has even testified of this from the pulpit that he truly doesn't...

613
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.800
He's like, I don't think my wife would have picked me

614
00:40:02.800 --> 00:40:05.760
if I had not done the healing work.

615
00:40:05.880 --> 00:40:06.920
Y'all, he's right.

616
00:40:08.260 --> 00:40:10.660
And I don't know if I would have seen him

617
00:40:11.120 --> 00:40:15.100
because I got to the point where I was over

618
00:40:15.740 --> 00:40:17.560
attracting unhealthy, abusive men.

619
00:40:17.560 --> 00:40:19.400
I'm like, I'm not doing that anymore.

620
00:40:20.160 --> 00:40:22.280
That's why I had, you know, I tell you guys

621
00:40:22.280 --> 00:40:26.060
and joke about my list and the way I was kind of like

622
00:40:26.060 --> 00:40:27.420
tracking who I was going on dates with

623
00:40:27.420 --> 00:40:29.400
and how did this date make me feel?

624
00:40:29.400 --> 00:40:32.300
Did I see any flags here, giving them nicknames

625
00:40:32.300 --> 00:40:35.160
and just kind of really being fun with the process

626
00:40:35.160 --> 00:40:37.760
and allowing myself to like,

627
00:40:38.420 --> 00:40:40.580
I don't know, how did that date go?

628
00:40:40.980 --> 00:40:44.200
You know, we had good conversation or it was super awkward.

629
00:40:45.060 --> 00:40:47.320
Or this guy, he just kept trying to push,

630
00:40:47.800 --> 00:40:49.480
you know, talking about sex constantly.

631
00:40:49.620 --> 00:40:51.760
But here's the thing, the reason I'm bringing that up

632
00:40:51.760 --> 00:40:53.400
is all of those things,

633
00:40:53.760 --> 00:40:56.420
me choosing to give myself permission to heal

634
00:40:56.420 --> 00:40:59.000
and really figure out what was healthy for me

635
00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:03.320
is what also prepared me to receive Brian.

636
00:41:04.760 --> 00:41:08.140
It gave me the ability to see him more clearly as well,

637
00:41:09.500 --> 00:41:12.400
to identify the green flags in him.

638
00:41:13.260 --> 00:41:16.320
If I was walking around in a lot of brokenness, you all,

639
00:41:17.260 --> 00:41:18.840
back in the day, I saw red flags

640
00:41:18.840 --> 00:41:20.360
and then I would just blow right through them.

641
00:41:20.560 --> 00:41:22.840
Not even on purpose, just subconsciously,

642
00:41:22.840 --> 00:41:24.260
I would just keep going.

643
00:41:25.180 --> 00:41:27.760
But then in a healed state, I'm like,

644
00:41:27.800 --> 00:41:29.220
oh yeah, that's not healthy.

645
00:41:30.140 --> 00:41:34.200
Oh, wow, that is really awesome about that person.

646
00:41:34.360 --> 00:41:37.220
But the healing is what enabled me to get there.

647
00:41:37.420 --> 00:41:40.940
Forgiving myself for the six years

648
00:41:40.940 --> 00:41:42.680
that I gave to that person that,

649
00:41:43.100 --> 00:41:45.000
like my spiritual daughter's dad,

650
00:41:45.340 --> 00:41:48.740
who literally betrayed me over and over and over again,

651
00:41:50.440 --> 00:41:55.180
forgiving him, forgiving myself was also vital to me

652
00:41:55.180 --> 00:41:57.200
being ready to receive my spirit mate.

653
00:41:57.820 --> 00:41:59.680
So here's your next activation.

654
00:42:01.180 --> 00:42:03.680
In the chat, share one thing you're ready to forgive

655
00:42:03.680 --> 00:42:05.040
and release tonight.

656
00:42:05.740 --> 00:42:08.560
It can be a person, it can be a situation.

657
00:42:09.000 --> 00:42:10.260
Again, it can be yourself.

658
00:42:10.300 --> 00:42:12.000
If you already put yourself, that's okay.

659
00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:12.900
You can say it again.

660
00:42:13.320 --> 00:42:16.020
Let's create an atmosphere of breakthrough together.

661
00:42:16.700 --> 00:42:19.480
In the chat, one thing you're ready to forgive

662
00:42:19.480 --> 00:42:20.920
and release tonight.

663
00:42:22.280 --> 00:42:24.960
You're saying, here we are, we're upon,

664
00:42:25.400 --> 00:42:27.420
we're closing in on the end of 2025.

665
00:42:27.900 --> 00:42:30.280
What do we not wanna take into the next year with us?

666
00:42:31.460 --> 00:42:33.560
And for some of you, you might feel like,

667
00:42:33.740 --> 00:42:35.300
well, I was here in this place last year.

668
00:42:35.380 --> 00:42:36.060
No, you weren't.

669
00:42:36.860 --> 00:42:37.780
Don't receive that lie.

670
00:42:38.060 --> 00:42:40.080
You might still be processing forgiveness

671
00:42:40.080 --> 00:42:42.720
or you might be still processing certain situations,

672
00:42:43.240 --> 00:42:46.720
but probably the reason that you're still struggling with it

673
00:42:46.720 --> 00:42:49.060
is that it was a really hard situation.

674
00:42:51.200 --> 00:42:52.440
But the enemy is trying to get you

675
00:42:52.440 --> 00:42:55.800
to not be grace-filled towards yourself.

676
00:42:56.160 --> 00:42:57.600
He just wants you to condemn yourself

677
00:42:57.600 --> 00:43:00.920
over and over and over again when other people are not

678
00:43:00.920 --> 00:43:02.620
and God definitely is not.

679
00:43:05.280 --> 00:43:07.620
You are your best investment.

680
00:43:09.500 --> 00:43:10.460
You are valuable.

681
00:43:11.980 --> 00:43:14.260
You're gonna have a time and a day

682
00:43:14.260 --> 00:43:15.440
when you're gonna meet your spirit mate

683
00:43:15.440 --> 00:43:18.000
and you're gonna recognize how amazing it is

684
00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:20.940
to be in a couple, but every single one of us,

685
00:43:21.040 --> 00:43:22.580
myself included, before I met Brian,

686
00:43:22.680 --> 00:43:25.080
we have to understand our value and our worth

687
00:43:25.460 --> 00:43:27.120
apart from someone else.

688
00:43:29.080 --> 00:43:33.040
Do you believe that you actually are valuable?

689
00:43:34.980 --> 00:43:37.360
And if you don't, I'm gonna say it goes back

690
00:43:37.360 --> 00:43:40.440
to that authentic identity and struggling with that.

691
00:43:41.180 --> 00:43:42.980
Struggling with forgiving yourself,

692
00:43:43.180 --> 00:43:45.700
that when you make a mistake, you don't have to,

693
00:43:46.160 --> 00:43:47.020
thank you, Lord.

694
00:43:47.380 --> 00:43:49.960
You don't have to like, back in the day,

695
00:43:51.640 --> 00:43:52.700
what was it called?

696
00:43:52.760 --> 00:43:56.720
They would take people out on the gallows to hang them.

697
00:43:57.320 --> 00:43:59.500
Some of you all, that's how you're treating yourself.

698
00:44:00.360 --> 00:44:02.640
When you make a mistake, you're like,

699
00:44:03.260 --> 00:44:05.640
like it just feels like you just made

700
00:44:05.680 --> 00:44:06.740
the biggest mistake ever

701
00:44:06.740 --> 00:44:08.900
and sometimes they're little, little mistakes.

702
00:44:09.860 --> 00:44:13.660
But because you're not forgiving yourself for the mistakes,

703
00:44:14.300 --> 00:44:15.620
then it creates a stronghold

704
00:44:15.620 --> 00:44:18.300
because every time you make a mistake from there on out,

705
00:44:18.600 --> 00:44:19.780
you're not forgiving yourself.

706
00:44:20.180 --> 00:44:22.620
And then every time it gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

707
00:44:22.900 --> 00:44:24.620
And so you're taking yourself to the gallows,

708
00:44:24.820 --> 00:44:25.180
so to speak.

709
00:44:25.240 --> 00:44:26.840
And God is saying in the spirit tonight

710
00:44:27.440 --> 00:44:30.020
that the gallows are not meant for you.

711
00:44:30.740 --> 00:44:32.360
Do you understand what I'm saying?

712
00:44:33.760 --> 00:44:35.700
Jesus died on the cross

713
00:44:35.800 --> 00:44:37.900
and shed his blood for your forgiveness.

714
00:44:39.820 --> 00:44:41.860
He wants you to receive it tonight.

715
00:44:44.740 --> 00:44:49.180
And not just for a moment, for eternity, forever.

716
00:44:50.760 --> 00:44:52.280
And I know it can get hard,

717
00:44:52.340 --> 00:44:53.900
I don't like to make mistakes either.

718
00:44:54.360 --> 00:44:57.180
I don't like when I react about something

719
00:44:57.180 --> 00:44:59.460
or I'm like, oh, who was that in that moment?

720
00:44:59.460 --> 00:44:59.980
I don't know who she was.

721
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.260
She was, that was kind of scary.

722
00:45:02.480 --> 00:45:03.960
Okay, am I the only person in the room

723
00:45:03.960 --> 00:45:06.780
that ever says or does anything that I'm just like,

724
00:45:06.640 --> 00:45:09.460
well, where did that come from?

725
00:45:10.680 --> 00:45:14.300
When pressure is applied, all kinds of stuff can come out.

726
00:45:14.740 --> 00:45:16.040
Hopefully, the more we heal,

727
00:45:16.220 --> 00:45:18.120
more and more good stuff is gonna come out, right?

728
00:45:19.460 --> 00:45:22.960
But even thinking and talking about like the olive press,

729
00:45:23.180 --> 00:45:26.920
you know, the olive press was really important

730
00:45:26.920 --> 00:45:29.060
because it brought out the best juice.

731
00:45:29.620 --> 00:45:31.480
So some of you are feeling pressed,

732
00:45:32.160 --> 00:45:34.820
you're feeling squeezed even by this conversation

733
00:45:34.820 --> 00:45:36.060
in this session tonight.

734
00:45:36.400 --> 00:45:40.200
But the Lord is saying, if you will surrender this person,

735
00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:43.120
these situations to me, if you allow me,

736
00:45:43.320 --> 00:45:45.820
God's not harming you, God's not putting pressure

737
00:45:45.820 --> 00:45:47.500
and squeezing you to harm you.

738
00:45:48.400 --> 00:45:52.940
The pressure is being applied to lead you into breakthrough,

739
00:45:53.800 --> 00:45:57.480
to lead you into greater freedom and revelation.

740
00:45:59.100 --> 00:46:01.460
So, okay, I'm gonna have you do something.

741
00:46:01.940 --> 00:46:02.760
I'm not gonna stand up

742
00:46:02.760 --> 00:46:04.740
just because you all won't be able to see me, okay?

743
00:46:04.860 --> 00:46:06.480
But if you're willing,

744
00:46:06.860 --> 00:46:09.240
I would love for you to stand right where you're at.

745
00:46:09.300 --> 00:46:11.060
And we're gonna walk through some declarations

746
00:46:11.100 --> 00:46:12.960
before we go into the open coaching.

747
00:46:13.920 --> 00:46:18.940
So as I say the declaration, you're gonna repeat after me.

748
00:46:20.880 --> 00:46:24.700
I choose forgiveness over my feelings.

749
00:46:27.760 --> 00:46:29.200
And here's why we're standing up,

750
00:46:29.300 --> 00:46:30.180
if you guys don't know this,

751
00:46:30.500 --> 00:46:32.880
you're standing up to stand in your authority

752
00:46:32.880 --> 00:46:34.400
given to you in Jesus Christ.

753
00:46:34.800 --> 00:46:37.280
Jesus Christ died to give you authority.

754
00:46:37.740 --> 00:46:40.080
So we're standing up in our authority tonight

755
00:46:40.080 --> 00:46:41.540
as we declare these things, okay?

756
00:46:41.540 --> 00:46:42.440
So we're gonna start over.

757
00:46:43.020 --> 00:46:44.340
Because you're standing in your authority,

758
00:46:44.340 --> 00:46:45.840
I want you to understand that.

759
00:46:46.220 --> 00:46:48.040
And everything that we speak out of our mouth,

760
00:46:48.300 --> 00:46:50.020
remember in our tongue,

761
00:46:50.060 --> 00:46:52.440
we have the power of life and death, okay?

762
00:46:52.440 --> 00:46:56.100
So I choose forgiveness over my feelings.

763
00:46:59.480 --> 00:47:03.860
I release and say their name and choose to walk in freedom.

764
00:47:06.400 --> 00:47:09.820
I release whoever it is and choose to walk in freedom

765
00:47:09.820 --> 00:47:12.220
if you didn't get that full one on the first time.

766
00:47:12.240 --> 00:47:13.340
Here's the next one.

767
00:47:14.080 --> 00:47:19.780
I open my heart to receive all that God has for me.

768
00:47:23.600 --> 00:47:24.120
Hmm.

769
00:47:25.560 --> 00:47:27.440
Number four, I have the capacity

770
00:47:28.320 --> 00:47:33.200
to perceive and receive my spirit mate.

771
00:47:34.480 --> 00:47:35.580
We're gonna do that one again.

772
00:47:35.620 --> 00:47:36.840
I feel it in the Holy Spirit.

773
00:47:37.640 --> 00:47:44.220
I have the capacity to perceive and receive my spirit mate.

774
00:47:45.800 --> 00:47:47.540
We're gonna put your name in that now.

775
00:47:47.540 --> 00:47:50.360
So I, whatever your name is,

776
00:47:51.480 --> 00:47:56.180
have the capacity to perceive and receive my spirit mate.

777
00:47:57.380 --> 00:48:00.960
Number five, unforgiveness will no longer

778
00:48:01.200 --> 00:48:03.340
block my blessings.

779
00:48:06.520 --> 00:48:07.860
Yes, Lord.

780
00:48:09.460 --> 00:48:13.820
In Jesus' name, amen, amen.

781
00:48:13.840 --> 00:48:15.180
Okay, you can come back with me.

782
00:48:15.340 --> 00:48:17.060
Y'all, I'll put those up in the groups

783
00:48:17.060 --> 00:48:18.360
after I get off tonight

784
00:48:18.360 --> 00:48:20.320
so that you can continue to partner with those

785
00:48:20.320 --> 00:48:21.920
because it's not just about tonight.

786
00:48:22.020 --> 00:48:25.780
It's about daily putting ourselves in this posture.

787
00:48:25.960 --> 00:48:27.340
I'm gonna put them up too

788
00:48:27.340 --> 00:48:29.280
because as I was preparing to come on

789
00:48:29.280 --> 00:48:30.380
and lead you all tonight,

790
00:48:31.720 --> 00:48:34.200
probably about 20 minutes before this session,

791
00:48:34.740 --> 00:48:36.140
I chose to forgive someone,

792
00:48:37.060 --> 00:48:39.960
someone that has authority in my life,

793
00:48:40.260 --> 00:48:44.380
that said some stuff that was very hurtful.

794
00:48:45.240 --> 00:48:48.280
And I have been offended this week about it.

795
00:48:50.260 --> 00:48:52.180
And I needed to forgive them,

796
00:48:52.540 --> 00:48:54.560
not just for them, but for me.

797
00:48:55.960 --> 00:48:58.640
So I want you to know I'm walking in this with you.

798
00:48:59.560 --> 00:49:01.780
Here are some practical next steps for you.

799
00:49:02.520 --> 00:49:04.580
We've kind of talked about this tonight already.

800
00:49:04.660 --> 00:49:07.040
So identify one person you need to forgive this week.

801
00:49:07.320 --> 00:49:08.920
Hopefully you already know who that is

802
00:49:08.960 --> 00:49:10.920
because some of you put it in the chat.

803
00:49:13.040 --> 00:49:16.840
Number two, take one practical action of forgiveness.

804
00:49:17.040 --> 00:49:18.860
So this is that activating it.

805
00:49:19.120 --> 00:49:21.940
And remember, it does not require contact.

806
00:49:22.820 --> 00:49:25.620
I didn't drive from one state to another

807
00:49:25.620 --> 00:49:26.680
to go visit my mom.

808
00:49:26.820 --> 00:49:28.940
I sent her a gift, okay?

809
00:49:30.420 --> 00:49:32.940
Number three, pray daily.

810
00:49:33.660 --> 00:49:36.560
Lord, increase my capacity to perceive

811
00:49:36.560 --> 00:49:37.860
and receive your blessings.

812
00:49:38.040 --> 00:49:40.820
So I'll send you these practical next steps as well.

813
00:49:40.820 --> 00:49:43.940
Here's the final truth before I open up the heartwork seat

814
00:49:43.940 --> 00:49:46.280
for whoever wants to get into that tonight.

815
00:49:47.160 --> 00:49:49.760
Remember this, the gift of forgiveness you give tonight

816
00:49:50.800 --> 00:49:52.600
isn't just about them.

817
00:49:53.420 --> 00:49:55.700
It's about clearing the path for everything

818
00:49:55.700 --> 00:49:57.520
God wants to bring into your life,

819
00:49:58.380 --> 00:49:59.980
including the love story that he.

820
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:08.560
is already writing for you. Do you perceive it? He's already writing it,

821
00:50:11.300 --> 00:50:15.680
praying for you, praying and believing for all of you. And I know some of you are struggling.

822
00:50:16.440 --> 00:50:20.660
I know that, um, okay, thank you, Lord. I love God. He's so awesome.

823
00:50:22.520 --> 00:50:25.380
You know, here's something I want you all to be really careful about.

824
00:50:26.420 --> 00:50:30.780
And when I say this, I'm not minimizing the holiday seasons being hard. I know they are.

825
00:50:30.820 --> 00:50:37.340
I know they are. Even for myself, I'm married, but we live in Florida. None of our family is here.

826
00:50:37.660 --> 00:50:41.340
We won't see any of our family for Christmas. That's, that's hard. That's sad.

827
00:50:41.840 --> 00:50:45.140
My grandparents are dead. My mom's dead. My dad's dead.

828
00:50:47.200 --> 00:50:53.960
I'm not close with any of my family. That's sad. It's hard. That is not the kind of family I want.

829
00:50:55.700 --> 00:50:59.460
I get an opportunity to create a different legacy. You all,

830
00:51:00.880 --> 00:51:06.380
I get to, I get to do things differently with my kids. So like, I just went to visit them. And

831
00:51:06.380 --> 00:51:09.060
one of my main focuses when I go to Kentucky is to be with them

832
00:51:10.440 --> 00:51:13.540
because I love them and I want them to know that no matter what.

833
00:51:14.840 --> 00:51:19.780
So where I was going with this and what I heard in the spirit is that some of you,

834
00:51:22.160 --> 00:51:27.720
you tend to get really triggered around the holidays and I get it, but I heard the Lord say

835
00:51:27.720 --> 00:51:33.720
to tell you that it's time to come out of agreement with that statement. Yes, Lord.

836
00:51:35.660 --> 00:51:38.940
It's time to come out of agreement with that statement because what's happening,

837
00:51:39.760 --> 00:51:44.280
I'm not saying it's not going to be hard, but when, when we partner with every,

838
00:51:44.360 --> 00:51:49.820
every holiday, I get triggered. I struggle every holiday. We're reinforcing that.

839
00:51:51.000 --> 00:51:54.660
Even though this is a little bit different. I remember before I met Brian,

840
00:51:56.140 --> 00:52:00.460
the Christmas before that being probably one of the loneliest Christmases I've had.

841
00:52:01.600 --> 00:52:07.520
I felt free and it was really actually a blessing, but I remember having to battle

842
00:52:07.660 --> 00:52:14.780
loneliness more than I ever had before. But you know what I partnered with, wait a minute.

843
00:52:16.160 --> 00:52:21.800
I'm pretty amazing and not in a prideful way, but it was like, God started giving me a revelation

844
00:52:22.340 --> 00:52:29.420
of my own being and how, of how like everywhere I go, I fill a space with something great.

845
00:52:31.880 --> 00:52:38.120
Do you believe that? Do you believe that even when no one else is around,

846
00:52:39.000 --> 00:52:47.240
that you fill that space with something amazing and great. Even if no one, no one notices you,

847
00:52:47.380 --> 00:52:52.760
no one applauds you, no one calls you. You guys back in the day, I can remember panicking when

848
00:52:52.760 --> 00:52:57.040
I would go through something and so many times people would never pick up and I'd be like,

849
00:52:57.140 --> 00:53:02.600
why does this happen? And the Lord would be like, cause I'm trying to get you to turn to me.

850
00:53:05.860 --> 00:53:12.720
You fill a space. Do you believe that there's something good in you, that everywhere that you

851
00:53:12.860 --> 00:53:19.440
are, there is value. There is awe, there is wonder because God created you with all of that.

852
00:53:21.600 --> 00:53:26.220
I'm not saying you shouldn't want a spirit mate. So don't hear me. That's not what I'm saying.

853
00:53:27.200 --> 00:53:32.360
I'm saying to you that the more that you stand in your value, the more that you understand

854
00:53:32.360 --> 00:53:40.020
who you are and how amazing you are, the more you're going to get prepared to receive someone

855
00:53:40.020 --> 00:53:51.440
really amazing. It is possible. Yes, Lord. I just saw him opening a gift. So guess what that means?

856
00:53:52.060 --> 00:53:58.180
He's opening up a gift to give it to somebody. So somebody here tonight, this has increased your

857
00:53:58.180 --> 00:54:04.120
to perceive your spirit mate is coming soon. And I want you to know that that is true. If that is

858
00:54:04.120 --> 00:54:10.880
what you feel, I want to confirm that to you and that he is on his way in Jesus name. All right.

859
00:54:10.940 --> 00:54:16.840
So I'm going to open the heartwork seat, Mandy, it is you and it's a bunch of other people too,

860
00:54:16.920 --> 00:54:23.480
but yes, I believe that for you, my friend. All right, Dave, go ahead. And you all, you can ask

861
00:54:23.480 --> 00:54:27.240
anything. Okay. So it's an open heartwork seat. It can be about forgiveness. It can be about

862
00:54:27.240 --> 00:54:34.120
something else if you need it to be. Go ahead, Dave. Oh, you're muted. There you go.

863
00:54:34.720 --> 00:54:43.640
One second. Just finding my notes here. So we often, we often talk about how like our dream

864
00:54:43.640 --> 00:54:49.020
partners like won't meet our expectations or how we need like more experience. And it's true that

865
00:54:49.020 --> 00:54:55.760
no one is exactly like, like how you perfectly imagined. But in my life, what I've learned is

866
00:54:55.760 --> 00:54:59.980
that the reality is, is that like reality is always better. And my relationship.

867
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.860
relationships haven't been perfect, like some of them have been really rough and harmful

868
00:55:02.860 --> 00:55:03.360
to me.

869
00:55:03.440 --> 00:55:09.140
But even then, they were always way more blessings and profound lessons that I gained than I

870
00:55:09.140 --> 00:55:10.020
ever thought were possible.

871
00:55:10.340 --> 00:55:14.280
So I always, I was always better for the experience.

872
00:55:14.360 --> 00:55:19.980
So that kind of made me wonder, is it possible that we need to like maybe like stop imagining

873
00:55:20.140 --> 00:55:24.840
a limited future, a one that's based on our own like limited imagination and start accepting

874
00:55:24.840 --> 00:55:30.300
the incredible and unknown blessings that God has for us, that like the purpose of making

875
00:55:30.300 --> 00:55:32.340
us whole, building our strength and making us grow?

876
00:55:33.260 --> 00:55:34.760
Well, yeah, 100%.

877
00:55:35.040 --> 00:55:39.600
Because I mean, I think I just told this story last night, but y'all went and heard it, but

878
00:55:39.600 --> 00:55:41.760
you might have heard it before for some of you.

879
00:55:43.100 --> 00:55:49.180
When I first met Brian, well, when I first saw him on the app, I wasn't even going to

880
00:55:49.260 --> 00:55:51.200
swipe to receive a message from him.

881
00:55:53.980 --> 00:55:58.120
But y'all, I've told him this story just so you know, but he had this really cute dog

882
00:55:58.480 --> 00:56:02.100
and he looked handsome, but he wasn't normally my, he wasn't my type.

883
00:56:03.120 --> 00:56:07.240
And so I almost did not swipe to have a conversation with him, but then I just kept feeling like

884
00:56:07.240 --> 00:56:08.740
he kept popping up in my feed.

885
00:56:09.360 --> 00:56:13.720
And so the Lord kept highlighting to me, I'm like, okay, I'm just, I'm just gonna, we'll

886
00:56:13.720 --> 00:56:13.920
see.

887
00:56:14.480 --> 00:56:15.240
We'll see how this goes.

888
00:56:15.700 --> 00:56:16.620
And so I did.

889
00:56:17.700 --> 00:56:25.220
And when he came to the first date, I was kind of like, meh, he's all right.

890
00:56:25.940 --> 00:56:29.320
As far as his looks go, but you know what?

891
00:56:29.880 --> 00:56:36.220
After having maybe like a two, two and a half hour conversation with him, seeing him and

892
00:56:36.220 --> 00:56:41.360
the way that he treated the people that were at the coffee shop, he paid for me to be generous.

893
00:56:41.460 --> 00:56:43.880
There was like a pay it forward thing at that place.

894
00:56:43.880 --> 00:56:48.360
He, he paid for himself to be generous, but then he paid for me to be generous too, because

895
00:56:48.360 --> 00:56:50.880
I was standing there looking at it and I wanted to do it.

896
00:56:50.880 --> 00:56:51.600
And I mentioned it to him.

897
00:56:51.600 --> 00:56:53.040
He's like, well, I'll pay for you to do it.

898
00:56:53.560 --> 00:56:57.520
There were just a lot of things that I just started seeing in him that I was like, whoa,

899
00:56:57.800 --> 00:56:59.000
this is good stuff.

900
00:56:59.780 --> 00:57:04.040
And so he asked me before he left that night, if I would like to go on another date.

901
00:57:04.080 --> 00:57:06.480
And I'm like, yeah, I would.

902
00:57:06.840 --> 00:57:11.340
But even in that moment, I still wasn't sure if I was attracted to him.

903
00:57:12.100 --> 00:57:17.180
So he comes back to Lexington for the second date and I'm going to get to the core of what

904
00:57:17.180 --> 00:57:18.000
you're asking, Dave.

905
00:57:18.100 --> 00:57:22.060
But when he came to the second date, we walked into the restaurant and y'all, he kind of,

906
00:57:22.180 --> 00:57:28.720
kind of not in a, in a weird way, but he kind of put his hand right by my back in my lower

907
00:57:28.720 --> 00:57:29.000
back.

908
00:57:29.020 --> 00:57:33.740
Not, and again, he not inappropriate, but I remember thinking like, Ooh, I don't, I

909
00:57:33.740 --> 00:57:35.640
don't know if I want people thinking we're together.

910
00:57:35.700 --> 00:57:36.940
I don't know if I'm there yet.

911
00:57:37.800 --> 00:57:40.320
Literally, these are the thoughts I was having you all.

912
00:57:41.720 --> 00:57:43.640
And I sat down.

913
00:57:44.160 --> 00:57:46.220
I remember still thinking in that moment.

914
00:57:46.880 --> 00:57:52.020
I actually think I remember there was a guy over sitting to the left of us that looked

915
00:57:52.280 --> 00:57:57.760
like someone I would have normally picked, but yet I was here with Brian.

916
00:57:58.780 --> 00:58:00.820
And so that's how that night started.

917
00:58:01.340 --> 00:58:06.100
But again, the more that I heard him talking and I heard his heart and we're having these

918
00:58:06.100 --> 00:58:08.440
really awesome conversations.

919
00:58:08.560 --> 00:58:13.040
I'm like, gosh, I know I felt uncomfortable like an hour ago.

920
00:58:14.380 --> 00:58:15.340
Not because of him.

921
00:58:15.420 --> 00:58:18.200
It was more about what was going on inside of me.

922
00:58:19.460 --> 00:58:23.800
And so by the time we left that place, I was like, man, I just, I like spending time with

923
00:58:23.800 --> 00:58:24.260
this guy.

924
00:58:24.540 --> 00:58:27.460
And so we went to this park and we were walking around.

925
00:58:27.560 --> 00:58:32.320
And before I knew it, I was like, I don't know if I've ever been this comfortable with

926
00:58:32.320 --> 00:58:33.980
someone like I am with him right now.

927
00:58:33.980 --> 00:58:40.280
I just felt so at peace, so comfortable, and that had never been my experience before.

928
00:58:40.700 --> 00:58:42.760
And so that was getting my attention.

929
00:58:43.500 --> 00:58:49.140
And so I'm saying that to you to say that, yeah, I think I had at the beginning of that,

930
00:58:49.160 --> 00:58:53.340
I think I had a limited perspective of, of who God had for me.

931
00:58:53.460 --> 00:58:58.740
I think that the other challenge that I faced was, you know, his denomination.

932
00:58:59.340 --> 00:59:04.640
And I almost considered not dating him anymore because of his denomination, you all.

933
00:59:04.960 --> 00:59:05.320
True story.

934
00:59:06.760 --> 00:59:10.960
Jackie had a conversation with me about that as well, lovingly told me, you need to let

935
00:59:10.960 --> 00:59:11.500
this go.

936
00:59:12.460 --> 00:59:17.560
And I prayed about it, talked to him about it, processed it, was very honest with him

937
00:59:17.560 --> 00:59:19.600
about why I was concerned about it.

938
00:59:19.880 --> 00:59:23.660
And we had a great conversation, really powerful.

939
00:59:24.260 --> 00:59:27.920
And I was able to surrender that pen to the Lord.

940
00:59:29.040 --> 00:59:35.600
And because of that, God started expanding my perspective of my future.

941
00:59:37.460 --> 00:59:43.660
So, Dave, yes, I think that sometimes we come into situations and we meet people.

942
00:59:43.780 --> 00:59:48.520
And even before we meet them, we have this, even in life, in every way you all, we have

943
00:59:48.520 --> 00:59:51.320
a very small box that we look at things through.

944
00:59:51.320 --> 00:59:53.800
I want you to imagine, do you remember back in the day?

945
00:59:53.840 --> 00:59:56.780
I'm going to date myself here, but do you remember back in the day?

946
00:59:56.840 --> 00:59:58.380
I don't even remember what they were called anymore.

947
00:59:58.580 --> 00:59:59.980
Someone will have to help me, but they were.

948
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.780
Those red, you looked into them

949
01:00:02.780 --> 01:00:04.660
and you would put those white circle things

950
01:00:04.660 --> 01:00:05.600
that were like film.

951
01:00:06.340 --> 01:00:08.740
Yes, Debra, the view master.

952
01:00:09.540 --> 01:00:12.340
Yes, and we would sit and we would look at the story

953
01:00:12.340 --> 01:00:14.300
or whatever through this view master.

954
01:00:15.340 --> 01:00:16.160
Here's the truth.

955
01:00:17.480 --> 01:00:20.660
Most of us are walking around every single day

956
01:00:20.660 --> 01:00:23.560
with a view master literally attached to us.

957
01:00:23.880 --> 01:00:24.960
That's what it's really like.

958
01:00:25.560 --> 01:00:30.460
But if we will turn our perspective over to the Lord,

959
01:00:30.920 --> 01:00:33.160
just like I was saying, for a lot of you,

960
01:00:33.320 --> 01:00:36.500
it's about whether or not you can perceive a thing.

961
01:00:37.400 --> 01:00:39.340
But in order for us to perceive it,

962
01:00:39.420 --> 01:00:41.280
don't we need to get rid of the lenses

963
01:00:41.280 --> 01:00:42.440
that we're looking through?

964
01:00:44.140 --> 01:00:44.660
Yeah.

965
01:00:45.380 --> 01:00:45.900
Yeah.

966
01:00:46.440 --> 01:00:49.760
And even when things happen and people come into our life,

967
01:00:49.880 --> 01:00:51.680
yeah, we have to be willing to say,

968
01:00:51.760 --> 01:00:53.820
okay, Lord, like how do you see them?

969
01:00:54.340 --> 01:00:56.600
Because some of you all, you're going on dates even,

970
01:00:57.300 --> 01:00:59.420
and you're feeling all kinds of chemistry,

971
01:01:00.280 --> 01:01:04.280
but that person's, there's red flags left and right.

972
01:01:05.100 --> 01:01:07.020
Let's not settle for that.

973
01:01:07.140 --> 01:01:10.200
Let's know that God can give us both.

974
01:01:10.460 --> 01:01:12.280
I didn't have fiery chemistry

975
01:01:12.280 --> 01:01:13.820
on my first two dates with him,

976
01:01:13.900 --> 01:01:18.020
but man, that slow burn, y'all is way, way,

977
01:01:18.020 --> 01:01:21.000
I've had lust, I've had chemistry before,

978
01:01:21.100 --> 01:01:22.740
and it didn't end up well,

979
01:01:22.740 --> 01:01:27.160
but that slow burn, baby, turned into a fire,

980
01:01:27.660 --> 01:01:29.280
and it turned into an engagement,

981
01:01:29.460 --> 01:01:31.040
and it turned into a marriage,

982
01:01:31.080 --> 01:01:35.020
and y'all, I love him, deeply love my husband.

983
01:01:35.500 --> 01:01:38.620
So Dave, yeah, for all of you,

984
01:01:38.660 --> 01:01:40.160
I think you're more asking the question.

985
01:01:40.300 --> 01:01:41.520
I hope that I answered it.

986
01:01:41.700 --> 01:01:42.220
Was that?

987
01:01:42.260 --> 01:01:43.100
You did, yeah.

988
01:01:43.780 --> 01:01:44.520
Yeah, excellent.

989
01:01:44.660 --> 01:01:47.680
Yeah, it's letting God write your story

990
01:01:48.040 --> 01:01:50.080
and allowing him to show you

991
01:01:50.080 --> 01:01:52.480
that his story is way bigger for you

992
01:01:52.480 --> 01:01:54.740
than what you could ever ask, think, or imagine.

993
01:01:55.620 --> 01:01:56.780
Yeah, and I think for me,

994
01:01:56.820 --> 01:01:58.160
I think my non-negotiables,

995
01:01:58.720 --> 01:01:59.980
what I'm feeling challenged about you sharing,

996
01:02:00.140 --> 01:02:02.260
were really mine and not from heaven.

997
01:02:03.120 --> 01:02:06.380
So like, I was going through my original non-negotiables

998
01:02:06.380 --> 01:02:07.240
when I finished the artwork,

999
01:02:07.340 --> 01:02:09.680
and I thought, I don't believe any of these anymore.

1000
01:02:10.340 --> 01:02:12.700
And so it's kind of like, God's been like, yeah.

1001
01:02:13.720 --> 01:02:14.120
Actually, my-

1002
01:02:14.120 --> 01:02:15.400
Well, and for those, go ahead.

1003
01:02:15.960 --> 01:02:18.560
No, my pastor gave me the same analogy of the viewmaster,

1004
01:02:18.780 --> 01:02:21.140
and he said, are you ready to put the toy down?

1005
01:02:21.140 --> 01:02:22.620
And I have it in my journal, and he said,

1006
01:02:22.960 --> 01:02:24.480
because you're looking at it like a little toy.

1007
01:02:24.640 --> 01:02:25.900
And he's like, they're real people.

1008
01:02:26.140 --> 01:02:28.340
So put the toy down and open your eyes.

1009
01:02:28.340 --> 01:02:30.200
That is a massive confirmation, Dave.

1010
01:02:30.280 --> 01:02:32.020
I don't think I've talked about a viewmaster

1011
01:02:32.300 --> 01:02:36.500
for like 20-some years or something, literally.

1012
01:02:36.800 --> 01:02:38.160
I've never used that analogy.

1013
01:02:38.480 --> 01:02:41.060
It came up in my spirit as I was talking to you.

1014
01:02:41.060 --> 01:02:42.060
So that is the Lord.

1015
01:02:42.200 --> 01:02:44.800
I had no clue that your pastor said that to you.

1016
01:02:45.100 --> 01:02:46.240
The Lord wants you to know,

1017
01:02:46.840 --> 01:02:48.140
like, you know, think of it this way, you all.

1018
01:02:48.180 --> 01:02:50.300
This is how God confirms the word, okay?

1019
01:02:50.900 --> 01:02:53.640
So God was speaking to you through your pastor,

1020
01:02:53.640 --> 01:02:55.160
and now he's come tonight,

1021
01:02:55.160 --> 01:02:56.980
and he's confirming that word for you.

1022
01:02:57.380 --> 01:02:59.320
It's about continuing to surrender

1023
01:02:59.580 --> 01:03:01.380
your perspective and your view.

1024
01:03:01.700 --> 01:03:04.120
It doesn't mean that God isn't gonna bless you

1025
01:03:04.120 --> 01:03:05.620
with somebody incredible.

1026
01:03:06.520 --> 01:03:09.900
It just means that he wants you to open your mind

1027
01:03:10.960 --> 01:03:16.080
to see what he sees and trust that he is good,

1028
01:03:16.740 --> 01:03:19.020
and he's the giver of good and perfect gifts,

1029
01:03:19.020 --> 01:03:21.260
and he's gonna give you a good and perfect gift

1030
01:03:21.260 --> 01:03:22.340
in your spirit, Nate.

1031
01:03:23.020 --> 01:03:25.380
And he knows, and here's the other thing, you know,

1032
01:03:25.380 --> 01:03:28.180
that I'll say again regarding Brian and I.

1033
01:03:29.980 --> 01:03:32.380
We knew there was a lot of spiritual DNA

1034
01:03:32.380 --> 01:03:33.660
before we even got married.

1035
01:03:33.820 --> 01:03:36.560
We knew that we both were deeply called to ministry,

1036
01:03:36.720 --> 01:03:38.900
that we were both running after the Lord,

1037
01:03:38.980 --> 01:03:41.540
but you know, you all, after we got married,

1038
01:03:41.700 --> 01:03:44.220
I started, you know, the more that Brian healed,

1039
01:03:44.780 --> 01:03:50.160
I started realizing just these deep gifts inside of him

1040
01:03:50.160 --> 01:03:51.460
that were sitting dormant

1041
01:03:51.500 --> 01:03:55.020
because of his own kind of unbelief for himself.

1042
01:03:55.480 --> 01:03:57.540
His ex-wife used to talk down to him all the time,

1043
01:03:57.580 --> 01:04:00.140
and then he actually had former leaders speak,

1044
01:04:00.540 --> 01:04:03.860
kind of telling him that he couldn't do certain things

1045
01:04:03.860 --> 01:04:05.260
as a pastor and a preacher.

1046
01:04:05.700 --> 01:04:09.500
And anyways, I'm saying that to say that coming together,

1047
01:04:10.780 --> 01:04:12.660
God activated things in him

1048
01:04:13.560 --> 01:04:15.940
that were sitting there dormant.

1049
01:04:16.720 --> 01:04:18.600
And so that's where it's also, some of you all,

1050
01:04:18.720 --> 01:04:21.880
you're gonna know they have a lot of wonderful things

1051
01:04:21.880 --> 01:04:26.440
about themselves, but you wanna follow peace.

1052
01:04:26.520 --> 01:04:28.300
You wanna follow the green flags.

1053
01:04:28.540 --> 01:04:30.820
You wanna really get to know the person

1054
01:04:31.420 --> 01:04:35.320
and let God show you who he sees that they are.

1055
01:04:36.960 --> 01:04:39.080
Yeah, so keep surrendering that, Dave.

1056
01:04:39.080 --> 01:04:40.320
It sounds like you're on the right path.

1057
01:04:40.320 --> 01:04:43.860
And when you gave the word in the prophetic night

1058
01:04:43.860 --> 01:04:44.880
about the little yellow bird.

1059
01:04:46.060 --> 01:04:46.360
So I-

1060
01:04:46.360 --> 01:04:48.500
I heard you talk about that on Saturday.

1061
01:04:49.120 --> 01:04:49.720
I loved that.

1062
01:04:50.300 --> 01:04:53.220
Yeah, so I had actually written a song word for word

1063
01:04:53.600 --> 01:04:55.580
exactly that had that yellow bird in it.

1064
01:04:55.600 --> 01:04:57.660
So I was like, and I went back and checked my notes

1065
01:04:57.660 --> 01:04:59.500
and I was like, this is like word for word.

1066
01:04:59.520 --> 01:04:59.980
So thanks.

1067
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:00.560
for that word.

1068
01:05:01.080 --> 01:05:01.800
Oh, that's awesome.

1069
01:05:01.860 --> 01:05:04.500
I love hearing that kind of stuff because sometimes y'all I'm like, I don't know where

1070
01:05:04.500 --> 01:05:05.300
this is coming from.

1071
01:05:05.340 --> 01:05:05.880
It's the Lord.

1072
01:05:05.880 --> 01:05:07.760
I'm just going to see what happens with it.

1073
01:05:07.880 --> 01:05:08.880
That is so awesome.

1074
01:05:09.080 --> 01:05:10.020
Thank you for sharing that.

1075
01:05:10.220 --> 01:05:11.120
Stephanie, go ahead.

1076
01:05:13.160 --> 01:05:13.600
Hey, Bethany.

1077
01:05:13.780 --> 01:05:16.500
Thanks for sharing about the dog story.

1078
01:05:17.100 --> 01:05:19.360
I feel like I'm that way with like farm animals.

1079
01:05:19.480 --> 01:05:25.140
Like if a guy is like holding a goat or a lamb, it's like, it's got my heart.

1080
01:05:25.140 --> 01:05:26.120
Okay.

1081
01:05:27.020 --> 01:05:37.820
So my question is, I am moving soon and I, God has been prompting me in the whole way

1082
01:05:37.820 --> 01:05:42.300
like, and I have been decluttering and getting rid of things.

1083
01:05:44.820 --> 01:05:50.300
And I, I feel like I'm starting to have some insight into where I'm going next, but I,

1084
01:05:50.300 --> 01:05:54.560
I don't know how, I don't know if it's, I think it's temporary.

1085
01:05:54.560 --> 01:05:55.640
I don't know how temporary.

1086
01:05:56.540 --> 01:06:05.920
And so in this process, I've been trying to like figure out details about like, if I'm

1087
01:06:05.920 --> 01:06:09.140
going to store my furniture or if I should just get rid of it.

1088
01:06:09.860 --> 01:06:17.460
And part of me like wants to just sell a bunch of the big stuff and like that just feels

1089
01:06:17.480 --> 01:06:21.360
so freeing to me for this next season.

1090
01:06:22.360 --> 01:06:31.100
But then I just, I noticed all this, I think anxiety coming up and just this like wanting

1091
01:06:31.100 --> 01:06:34.600
to like hold on to things.

1092
01:06:34.700 --> 01:06:42.240
And it's, it's like just stirring up a lot of feelings around like money and wasting

1093
01:06:42.240 --> 01:06:51.140
money and like scarcity mindset and like wanting to let go, but not knowing if that's a foolish

1094
01:06:51.140 --> 01:06:52.120
thing to do right now.

1095
01:06:52.180 --> 01:06:57.620
And just, I was, I've been surprised at like how much it's, it's been stirring up.

1096
01:07:00.020 --> 01:07:00.900
So yeah.

1097
01:07:00.920 --> 01:07:01.180
Okay.

1098
01:07:01.180 --> 01:07:02.300
I just wanted to make sure you were done.

1099
01:07:02.640 --> 01:07:02.640


1100
01:07:03.600 --> 01:07:09.360
So, Hey, interesting thing right before you said, then you said, I think this is temporary

1101
01:07:09.360 --> 01:07:12.240
right before you said that I heard the Lord say nomad.

1102
01:07:12.920 --> 01:07:13.360
Okay.

1103
01:07:13.360 --> 01:07:17.140
So a nomad is someone who kind of moves from place to place.

1104
01:07:17.220 --> 01:07:18.800
They have freedom to move.

1105
01:07:19.220 --> 01:07:20.760
And you can look more into that.

1106
01:07:20.760 --> 01:07:26.520
It doesn't mean that that's going to be, you know, the situation long-term, but I do

1107
01:07:26.520 --> 01:07:29.620
have a feeling that this is temporary for you.

1108
01:07:29.940 --> 01:07:33.960
Now, obviously continue to put that before the Lord and let him show you.

1109
01:07:34.380 --> 01:07:35.880
Here's my question for you.

1110
01:07:35.880 --> 01:07:36.920
You said it yourself.

1111
01:07:37.040 --> 01:07:41.520
When I think about selling the big stuff that feels very freeing.

1112
01:07:42.320 --> 01:07:42.820
Okay.

1113
01:07:42.820 --> 01:07:52.340
So let me ask you this, the big stuff, when you got it, does it remind you, or after you

1114
01:07:52.340 --> 01:07:58.940
got it, does it remind you of anyone or anything that brings you feelings that you

1115
01:07:58.940 --> 01:07:59.460
don't enjoy?

1116
01:08:04.600 --> 01:08:06.260
Some, yes.

1117
01:08:08.240 --> 01:08:14.580
Others, it's, it's more of the feeling of like, I don't enjoy feeling attached to it.

1118
01:08:14.720 --> 01:08:21.740
It's like, why I don't, I don't like, yeah, like feeling attached to stuff in that, like

1119
01:08:21.740 --> 01:08:22.899
it doesn't feel good.

1120
01:08:25.740 --> 01:08:32.800
So what if God is preparing you to get ready to not have a lot of stuff because he's going

1121
01:08:32.800 --> 01:08:35.859
to take you somewhere to introduce you to a spirit mate and you're going to be able to

1122
01:08:35.859 --> 01:08:41.200
buy a lot of new things at some point, you know, I think this is the thing you said it

1123
01:08:41.200 --> 01:08:41.779
really well.

1124
01:08:42.080 --> 01:08:48.160
When, when you start feeling like doing this and you're feeling all this freedom, then

1125
01:08:48.160 --> 01:08:53.720
what kicks in is anxiety, which remember anxiety or is what ifs, what if, what if, but

1126
01:08:53.720 --> 01:08:56.460
it's partnering with fear, false evidence appearing real.

1127
01:08:56.960 --> 01:09:00.600
So that's when you start hearing things like you're wasting money.

1128
01:09:00.600 --> 01:09:07.760
And so my question for you on that is, you know, growing up, were you kind of around

1129
01:09:08.120 --> 01:09:15.399
people that never got rid of anything or that there was shame around wanting to let go of

1130
01:09:15.399 --> 01:09:16.800
something to get something new?

1131
01:09:17.319 --> 01:09:21.979
And again, this isn't to criticize them, but it's understanding that if we were around

1132
01:09:21.979 --> 01:09:26.300
people that, you know, you know, generations before us.

1133
01:09:26.300 --> 01:09:29.920
And again, I'm not, I'm not saying this is their fault or that it's bad, but there was

1134
01:09:29.920 --> 01:09:33.960
that hoarding phase, you know, they didn't get rid of anything because they went through

1135
01:09:33.960 --> 01:09:38.060
the Great Depression and stuff like that was really hard times for a lot of people.

1136
01:09:38.359 --> 01:09:41.760
And so they did struggle with letting go of things.

1137
01:09:41.760 --> 01:09:45.640
And so some of our grandparents, our parents went through that.

1138
01:09:45.660 --> 01:09:48.960
And so that's translated to us essentially.

1139
01:09:49.640 --> 01:09:54.600
And then there's also the factor of if our parents or anyone in our family line

1140
01:09:54.600 --> 01:09:59.980
struggled with money and they had guilt or shame for wanting something.

1141
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.060
something new or wanting to let go of something, then you might also be up against not only

1142
01:10:05.060 --> 01:10:08.080
your own things, but it could be connected to family line.

1143
01:10:08.680 --> 01:10:15.680
And so I want you to just pray around that stuff and really asking the Lord to kind of

1144
01:10:15.680 --> 01:10:17.080
reveal some more things for healing.

1145
01:10:17.220 --> 01:10:25.860
But also this whole thing that I said to you, you know, if you feel free, maybe it's God

1146
01:10:25.860 --> 01:10:30.460
trying to stretch your faith to believe that he's leading you into something new.

1147
01:10:31.700 --> 01:10:37.320
I remember when I moved to Indiana, y'all, I got rid of my couch.

1148
01:10:37.440 --> 01:10:39.240
I got rid of all kinds of big stuff.

1149
01:10:40.180 --> 01:10:42.880
I ended up renting an apartment that already had furniture.

1150
01:10:43.740 --> 01:10:47.480
I forgot, before I looked for an apartment, I didn't even, I didn't even remember that

1151
01:10:47.480 --> 01:10:49.140
there were apartments that had furniture.

1152
01:10:50.720 --> 01:10:55.000
But even going through that, it shifted my mind and got me ready.

1153
01:10:56.120 --> 01:10:59.660
When Brian and I got married, he already had a couch and it was a pretty cool couch.

1154
01:10:59.660 --> 01:11:02.000
And I was very happy with using his couch.

1155
01:11:02.520 --> 01:11:05.180
And so again, like I know it can get hard.

1156
01:11:05.280 --> 01:11:09.860
Like we partner with fear because we're afraid if we let go of something, well, we might

1157
01:11:09.860 --> 01:11:10.560
need that thing.

1158
01:11:10.700 --> 01:11:16.040
I do it even with clothes that I haven't worn in like 20, 20 years, you all, I might want

1159
01:11:16.040 --> 01:11:16.820
to wear that thing again.

1160
01:11:16.820 --> 01:11:20.920
And if I ever fit back into it and we get afraid to let go of stuff.

1161
01:11:22.080 --> 01:11:26.700
But God, I think is saying, Hey, what, like, you know, will you trust me with that thing?

1162
01:11:27.120 --> 01:11:33.200
Will you trust me with giving you provision and the future to buy something new?

1163
01:11:35.600 --> 01:11:36.100
Yeah.

1164
01:11:36.100 --> 01:11:45.200
And I think it, it's tapping into like, I know that that's been a challenge for me for

1165
01:11:45.200 --> 01:11:47.660
many, many, many years, just trusting God with provision.

1166
01:11:48.260 --> 01:11:56.600
And also like, it's hard for me to like, spend a significant amount of money on myself or

1167
01:11:56.600 --> 01:11:58.520
just spend money on myself, I think in general.

1168
01:11:58.960 --> 01:12:00.820
So it's like all these things.

1169
01:12:01.520 --> 01:12:05.560
So this is going to be a part of your healing process, then I'm pretty confident of that

1170
01:12:05.560 --> 01:12:10.820
because God is trying to let you know that it's not about you being wasteful, Stephanie.

1171
01:12:11.640 --> 01:12:19.320
God is giving you permission to let go and embrace the freedom feeling that you're having,

1172
01:12:19.560 --> 01:12:21.120
even thinking about letting it go.

1173
01:12:21.260 --> 01:12:28.460
The reason I asked you the question, does that stuff remind you of somebody or something

1174
01:12:28.460 --> 01:12:31.240
that wasn't that, that caused you to feel bad.

1175
01:12:32.100 --> 01:12:37.140
And what you said was like, kind of, but it just, you just feel like you just want to

1176
01:12:37.140 --> 01:12:39.560
get like, you want to let that go.

1177
01:12:40.200 --> 01:12:45.320
Typically it is because it reminds us of something that we don't want to be reminded of.

1178
01:12:45.820 --> 01:12:56.320
And sometimes it's a season, you know, I, the couch that I got rid of y'all for a couple

1179
01:12:56.320 --> 01:12:57.860
years, I was so glad to have it.

1180
01:12:57.860 --> 01:13:03.100
I was so proud of myself because I bought it myself and I struggled financially a lot

1181
01:13:03.100 --> 01:13:04.000
over the years.

1182
01:13:07.300 --> 01:13:14.360
But when I was dating my spiritual daughter's dad, I, I read it when I originally bought

1183
01:13:14.440 --> 01:13:18.360
that couch, it was mine, but I let him keep it as house.

1184
01:13:18.400 --> 01:13:19.320
The girls loved it.

1185
01:13:19.340 --> 01:13:21.000
They always wanted to sit on it at my house.

1186
01:13:21.000 --> 01:13:25.260
And so we moved it to his house and, and all the things and the girls would fight over

1187
01:13:25.680 --> 01:13:26.480
that couch.

1188
01:13:27.060 --> 01:13:35.700
And while that sounds so cute, what happened is after I broke up with him, he, he constantly

1189
01:13:35.700 --> 01:13:38.460
tried to prevent me from being able to see them.

1190
01:13:40.760 --> 01:13:46.860
And when I would sit in my apartment sometimes when I wasn't able to see them, I would feel

1191
01:13:46.860 --> 01:13:48.380
sad sitting on that couch.

1192
01:13:49.760 --> 01:13:55.640
Now, I'm not saying this is anything in your story, but what I am saying is that it was

1193
01:13:55.640 --> 01:13:57.340
important for me to look at that.

1194
01:13:59.260 --> 01:14:04.880
And it was important for me to let that couch go because God had new memories for me that

1195
01:14:04.880 --> 01:14:05.960
he wanted to give me.

1196
01:14:06.080 --> 01:14:09.400
And that included a new couch that my husband already owned.

1197
01:14:10.060 --> 01:14:15.060
And then when we moved here to Florida, you all, Brian and I went shopping and bought

1198
01:14:15.060 --> 01:14:15.480
brand new.

1199
01:14:15.480 --> 01:14:19.460
We still have that couch he had, but we brought, we bought brand new furniture.

1200
01:14:20.040 --> 01:14:22.340
Neither one of us had ever done that before.

1201
01:14:22.360 --> 01:14:24.300
Brand new, like nice furniture.

1202
01:14:24.300 --> 01:14:30.540
And that couch I had before, it was, it was nice for that season, but see, even letting

1203
01:14:30.540 --> 01:14:36.860
go of that from that season opened me up to be able to give myself permission to receive

1204
01:14:36.860 --> 01:14:38.440
what Brian had that was plenty.

1205
01:14:38.980 --> 01:14:44.580
But then when we moved into the next season to buy something that like spend money that

1206
01:14:44.580 --> 01:14:48.340
we didn't, we wouldn't have normally spent on ourselves for furniture.

1207
01:14:49.220 --> 01:14:52.760
And we weren't like crazy, you all, but it's really beautiful furniture.

1208
01:14:53.400 --> 01:14:58.620
And so, yeah, it's learning, it's learning to let go so that we can receive new.

1209
01:15:00.820 --> 01:15:06.940
Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah. And I also, I just wanted to say I've used that nomad word.

1210
01:15:07.380 --> 01:15:12.580
I've, I've joked, like, maybe I'll just be a nomad for a little while. So that was confirmation. So

1211
01:15:12.580 --> 01:15:18.320
thank you. All right. Another confirmation tonight. You all, I love this. Keep us posted on

1212
01:15:18.320 --> 01:15:24.180
how that goes. Stephanie, where are you moving to? Like, sorry. Are you going to stay in the

1213
01:15:24.180 --> 01:15:28.220
same city and state where you're at? Or are you going to move somewhere different or what's that

1214
01:15:28.220 --> 01:15:35.980
like? Yeah, I think I'm moving somewhere different. So I'm not, I have some ideas.

1215
01:15:36.340 --> 01:15:39.860
Yeah, that's all right. Keep us posted on how that goes. Okay.

1216
01:15:41.060 --> 01:15:44.540
Awesome. Thank you for sharing. Bernice, go ahead.

1217
01:15:54.320 --> 01:15:59.880
Oh, you're muted still. There you go. Okay. So I just wanted to say this is

1218
01:16:00.700 --> 01:16:07.640
confirmation too, because this morning in my quiet time, I was praying, and I felt like

1219
01:16:07.640 --> 01:16:16.520
the Lord told me to go to my son and ask his forgiveness for being harsh in the way I spanked

1220
01:16:16.520 --> 01:16:26.780
him when he was younger out of anger. And it wasn't abuse. Yeah, I understand. But I spanked

1221
01:16:26.780 --> 01:16:37.300
him in anger. And I felt like I needed to share that with you because you and Jackie are on point.

1222
01:16:37.640 --> 01:16:44.640
And as well as with one of my friends, one of my girlfriends that basically took my kindness

1223
01:16:45.240 --> 01:16:51.680
and used it. The Lord told me to send her a wedding gift because she's going to be getting

1224
01:16:51.780 --> 01:16:58.100
married in March. Two things this morning, and it was all about forgiveness. So I just wanted

1225
01:16:58.100 --> 01:17:05.340
to share and say this is confirmation. I love this. And Bernice, I would love to hear like

1226
01:17:05.340 --> 01:17:09.880
what happened when you told your son, when you asked him to forgive you for that,

1227
01:17:10.220 --> 01:17:17.540
did he receive that or how did that unfold for you? No, not in the beginning. He didn't receive

1228
01:17:17.540 --> 01:17:25.620
it. He just said, Oh mom, that was a long time ago. And so when he came back home this evening,

1229
01:17:25.900 --> 01:17:34.760
I said to him, the Lord wants me to come back to you because he wants you to say, yes, I forgive

1230
01:17:34.760 --> 01:17:44.460
you. And he said, okay, mom, I forgive you. So yeah. So I went back to him and did that.

1231
01:17:44.880 --> 01:17:48.880
That's so awesome. I love this. I believe that there's things happening in the spirit realm

1232
01:17:48.920 --> 01:17:55.240
because of your obedience that you guys, both he and you are going to start to feel different in

1233
01:17:55.240 --> 01:17:59.560
ways that you didn't even know that you needed it. And I love that you shared this with us

1234
01:18:00.260 --> 01:18:07.500
and ladies and gentlemen, I hope that this encourages you to go and step into your forgiveness

1235
01:18:08.260 --> 01:18:12.620
channel if you will, tonight and in this next week ahead as well.

1236
01:18:13.160 --> 01:18:17.680
Crystal, hi, it's great to see you. Bernice, thanks for sharing that. Thank you.

1237
01:18:19.960 --> 01:18:27.900
Miss Lily is enamored with you, Bethany. She's very enamored with you tonight.

1238
01:18:27.900 --> 01:18:34.180
Um, so yes, forgiveness is definitely confirmation as I was on my roster for many,

1239
01:18:35.020 --> 01:18:40.260
many things, even for just like Lily's mom, um, you know, for leaving them here and now her

1240
01:18:40.260 --> 01:18:44.880
father's back in jail again. And anyways, just so that's a confirmation, but I have a question,

1241
01:18:45.200 --> 01:18:49.580
um, with the, the fostering and I think it's kind of a hint, probably a hindrance to in my,

1242
01:18:50.360 --> 01:18:56.120
in like going forward to, to spirit mate dating. I had Monroe here and I'm just trying to figure

1243
01:18:56.120 --> 01:19:01.120
out where, like where, where the guard is coming from. Like I had the little 12 month old here and

1244
01:19:01.120 --> 01:19:04.480
she came and went and it was, everybody's like, how you making out now that she's gone. And I'm

1245
01:19:04.780 --> 01:19:12.360
like, I have like no emotion attached to it. And, um, today we were in court over Lily,

1246
01:19:12.800 --> 01:19:15.320
uh, trying to figure out what to do because she's actually placed here with,

1247
01:19:15.560 --> 01:19:19.540
with no payments being made to me. So I'm looking after, looking after her out of pocket.

1248
01:19:19.960 --> 01:19:24.060
Um, so I had to tell them like, you know, that can't go, they, they asked me to do it for another

1249
01:19:24.060 --> 01:19:28.180
six months. So I had to tell them that I couldn't go on and people are like, you know, how are you

1250
01:19:28.180 --> 01:19:32.660
going to make out, you know, if they have to come pick her up or, you know, and, um, I don't know.

1251
01:19:32.680 --> 01:19:38.560
I feel like, I don't know where the, why the detachment, like, you know, like, you know,

1252
01:19:38.560 --> 01:19:43.740
like, I feel like I'm a person that loves really deep, deep anyways, like I did, like when my

1253
01:19:43.740 --> 01:19:49.960
parents died, it was such a, such a deep loss and such a grief loss, you know? And I, I feel,

1254
01:19:49.960 --> 01:19:55.900
I felt like I did a lot of work, um, through that with, with the Lord and with healing and

1255
01:19:55.900 --> 01:19:59.700
even with like, even writing like goodbye letters and stuff like that. But.

1256
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:10.280
I'm like, what, like, where's the, because I don't want to be like that, like, especially when you take in kids like this or whatever. And I feel like it's probably going to transfer in other areas.

1257
01:20:10.700 --> 01:20:21.480
Like, even for my brother, like, this time last year, I had the full circle moment with with my brother, because, you know, like, Jackie gave that full circle word.

1258
01:20:21.480 --> 01:20:32.980
And I just, I really feel to see it to say to people, it's, it's actually not the full circle word. That was the most important thing that Jackie said. Jackie said, you can be right and not be right.

1259
01:20:33.480 --> 01:20:41.460
And I was right about what my brother did and him saying that he couldn't talk to me, but I wasn't right because it was breaking relationship.

1260
01:20:41.460 --> 01:21:02.540
So, and that, and like, so this year, like, we had the full circle moment a year ago and it's, you know, it's been excellent. Like, you know, there's nothing been broken there and it's even come down to, you know, that he invited himself and his family for Christmas here, you know, so, you know, that someone's comfortable with it when they invite themselves over and you didn't invite them. Right?

1261
01:21:02.540 --> 01:21:19.960
So, you know, and it's just like, I don't want to be like, guarded towards these situations or whatever, because I want to be like, I, you know, I want to feel that deep love, but maybe I'm afraid of that deep, like, that deep hurt from my parents, like, because I love so deeply.

1262
01:21:19.960 --> 01:21:49.940
I think that is, because when you said that, I wrote down what you said about your parents. I think that probably there's a level of you protecting yourself. Detachment happens to you all. And there's probably a lot deeper scientific and psychological definition of this. But I want you to think about when we are detached from somebody or something, it's almost like we're putting up a wall subconsciously to try to prevent us from feeling safe.

1263
01:21:49.960 --> 01:22:17.440
Feeling lost. If something should happen that disappoints us with that person, with that thing. Some of us even do that with our jobs. You know, we struggle to move forward because we are actually detached. We're not fully engaged. And so, I would really just encourage you to ask the Lord to reveal to you how to take the wall down subconsciously. Like, what needs healed still?

1264
01:22:17.440 --> 01:22:36.280
And right before I went to say that to you, God gave me the answer. So that's kind of funny. It's like brick by brick. That's what I heard him say. So you're going to take it down brick by brick. And what that means is like healing layer by healing layer. Like you're recognizing, you know, not only regarding Monroe, is that how you said it? Is that right?

1265
01:22:37.280 --> 01:22:59.980
And Lily, but you also recognize it with your brother. So the Lord's helping you make some really important connections that are all leaning back to, you know, not giving yourself permission to be fully open to love. So what is the deepest fear that you have regarding it?

1266
01:23:03.920 --> 01:23:29.960
I guess the loss, the loss really, because, you know, like, like, I was best friends with my parents, and that was that was devastating. Like, just it was so devastating to me. Like, you know, that, you know, every, you know, my brother didn't have that relationship with them. Right? So he had a total other devastation loss. Right? But for me, you know, my loss wasn't about the past or anything. It was just about what I lost then and what I lost now.

1267
01:23:29.960 --> 01:23:59.060
What I lost in my future, you know, so that's really good. So do you let yourself actually feel what it would feel like, when you because you said, Monroe, you just didn't even feel anything. Like, are you actually allowing yourself and I'm not, I don't want you to stay here. Okay. But I think based off of what you're describing and talking about, remember, we have to feel the

1268
01:23:59.060 --> 01:24:23.940
feels so that God can heal the feels. I think that you need to think about how do I feel about Lily, not being with me? Like, how, how, you know, how do I feel when I hold her? And if you don't, you know, I think that you are really good. I see you even on calls, like the way you take care of her, you're being a great mom. You're being a great mom on whatever level that means for you.

1269
01:24:23.940 --> 01:24:52.360
But I think the thing that is important for you to ask yourself, are you really allowing yourself to, when you're holding her, really allow yourself to get like fully shift into that mothering spirit, that nurturing, like where your heart is opening up to love. Because here's what I see happening is through your brother, through Monroe, through Lily, God is teaching you how to open your heart back up to love.

1270
01:24:52.360 --> 01:24:59.980
And guess what, when you come across your spirit mate, you're gonna have to be able to open your heart to love or, or you won't be able to.

1271
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:07.420
receive them, right? And so, it's like, you know, where you're just going to start paying

1272
01:25:07.420 --> 01:25:13.160
attention to your feelings, or your, you know, that detachment, the lack of them,

1273
01:25:13.160 --> 01:25:18.800
so that you can ask the Lord to reveal to you, okay, Lord, and we think it's your parents,

1274
01:25:18.900 --> 01:25:23.600
but let's make sure it's not something before your parents. Lord, when is the first time I

1275
01:25:23.680 --> 01:25:30.780
didn't allow myself to, you know, really nurture someone else, or to receive love,

1276
01:25:30.820 --> 01:25:37.520
or allow myself to feel what it feels like to love fully, you know, where you're really looking

1277
01:25:37.520 --> 01:25:42.780
at that with the Lord, again, not getting out a shovel to dig, but just asking Him to reveal the

1278
01:25:42.780 --> 01:25:47.320
things for healing that are needed and necessary for you to move forward, because He's connecting

1279
01:25:47.320 --> 01:25:51.440
the dots, and He's showing you that this is something you're struggling with, but He's the

1280
01:25:51.680 --> 01:25:56.480
one that can help you take it down brick by brick, and literally shatter the wall of detachment

1281
01:25:57.140 --> 01:26:00.460
in a healthy way, not in a mean, harmful way, but in a, like,

1282
01:26:00.460 --> 01:26:04.880
hey, I'm just going to tap, tap, tap on this thing, and it's going to be gone. Does that make sense?

1283
01:26:07.800 --> 01:26:13.660
You okay? Yeah, I feel like it's, like, from when I was little, like, I don't know,

1284
01:26:13.660 --> 01:26:18.400
I just feel like I'm such a deep lover that, you know, when my parents used to take me to

1285
01:26:18.400 --> 01:26:23.360
old folks' homes to visit people, and I remember when the first person died, my parents were like,

1286
01:26:24.460 --> 01:26:29.360
that's it, you're not visiting no more old people anymore, because, you know, like,

1287
01:26:29.360 --> 01:26:34.780
it was a devastation to me, like, they didn't even know what to do with me, you know, and it was just,

1288
01:26:34.780 --> 01:26:40.040
like, this was some stranger, you know, that I went there to cheer up and make happy as,

1289
01:26:40.240 --> 01:26:45.440
you know, a little kid. Okay, so I just heard the Lord say to tell you

1290
01:26:45.440 --> 01:26:52.420
that God gave that to you as a gift, okay? It just got overextended, and unfortunately,

1291
01:26:52.760 --> 01:26:56.460
and, you know, I'm not saying your parents weren't good parents, but instead of just

1292
01:26:56.460 --> 01:27:04.080
taking you away from that situation or ever feeling that pain again, it may have been really

1293
01:27:04.080 --> 01:27:09.180
helpful for them to kind of coach you through or help you through, whether they could or had

1294
01:27:09.180 --> 01:27:17.720
someone else help you through how to process death, how to process loss, and come back around

1295
01:27:17.720 --> 01:27:22.000
on the other side where you can open yourself back up to love, because then, you know, and

1296
01:27:22.000 --> 01:27:26.220
there could be other things in between that person dying and you feeling that deep pain

1297
01:27:26.240 --> 01:27:30.820
and your parents dying, but right now we know two really big significant things, so I'm going to go

1298
01:27:30.820 --> 01:27:36.140
with that. So here you experience that big loss, and you're not really taught how to process it,

1299
01:27:36.700 --> 01:27:41.500
and now then your parents die, whether they died at the same time or they died,

1300
01:27:41.940 --> 01:27:48.300
whatever that looks like for you, the loss that you felt reinforced what you learned back here.

1301
01:27:50.340 --> 01:27:55.940
So basically, it's telling you, yeah, you cannot open your heart to love because this is what

1302
01:27:55.940 --> 01:28:03.100
happens every time you do, but that isn't true, okay? That's not true. That's just what the

1303
01:28:03.100 --> 01:28:08.740
dialogue the enemy is using to talk to you right now. Does that make sense?

1304
01:28:11.220 --> 01:28:19.480
Yeah. It's going to be okay. You are learning to love. I see you. I see you. It's funny,

1305
01:28:19.480 --> 01:28:23.300
I was just watching the Avatar movie, and as I said that to you, you know how in that movie,

1306
01:28:23.400 --> 01:28:27.920
if you've seen it, they kind of like say back and forth to each other, like, I see you,

1307
01:28:27.920 --> 01:28:34.240
and literally as I said that, there's this deep meaning behind that when they say it in the movie,

1308
01:28:34.300 --> 01:28:40.340
and I just want you to know that I see you, Crystal, and I know that your heart, you want to

1309
01:28:40.340 --> 01:28:45.780
love, you are love, God has put a deep love within you, but you don't have to be afraid of that deep

1310
01:28:46.000 --> 01:28:52.600
love, okay? That's the past. God's going to teach you how to balance that love, and even if or when

1311
01:28:52.600 --> 01:29:00.200
you get your heart broken, because here's the reality, y'all, every time we love, there is a

1312
01:29:00.200 --> 01:29:05.860
risk of our heart being broken, even friends, but you know what? We can experience a really

1313
01:29:05.860 --> 01:29:11.380
beautiful gift on the other side of that pain, and it's an infilling of fresh love, and it's

1314
01:29:11.380 --> 01:29:18.940
an infilling of healing, and God tending to us as our good shepherd, and so you don't have to

1315
01:29:18.940 --> 01:29:25.400
afraid of that gift that's on the inside of you, and you can start to ask God to, I really want to

1316
01:29:25.400 --> 01:29:32.680
encourage you, I'm just sensing that when you were little that you like were really hard on yourself

1317
01:29:32.680 --> 01:29:38.640
because of how that turned out when that person in the nursing home passed away, and you were

1318
01:29:38.640 --> 01:29:44.920
struggling to cope with that, and so I feel like maybe part of forgiving tonight is you forgiving

1319
01:29:44.920 --> 01:29:53.180
yourself for feeling so deeply, because it's not a curse, Crystal, it's a blessing.

1320
01:29:55.040 --> 01:29:59.980
No, and I realize that, I mean, you know, like the reason I think that, you know, like everybody

1321
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.700
you know, has their own opinion of Pastor Joel Osteen. But, you know, like, there's one thing

1322
01:30:05.660 --> 01:30:10.400
that, you know, when that woman went in and shot in his church a couple of years ago,

1323
01:30:10.700 --> 01:30:18.480
and he got up on the Sunday after, you know, and he wept for her, praying for her. I was like,

1324
01:30:18.700 --> 01:30:23.360
that's like, and when I met his mom, you know, she was like, you know, that's the one thing

1325
01:30:23.360 --> 01:30:28.600
about him is like, he has this, this deep, like, this compassion towards everybody,

1326
01:30:28.600 --> 01:30:34.000
no matter what they do to him. Yeah, like, but that's a hard, you know, like,

1327
01:30:34.240 --> 01:30:38.660
I don't know, I guess it's a hard gift. It is a hard gift. Sometimes, you know,

1328
01:30:38.660 --> 01:30:42.040
it's interesting that I'm talking to you about this tonight. I don't know if you've ever heard

1329
01:30:42.040 --> 01:30:49.780
me say this, but I feel like God has given me a great capacity to love people. And sometimes

1330
01:30:49.940 --> 01:30:54.240
loving deeply is hard, because it doesn't always turn out the way that we want it to.

1331
01:30:54.800 --> 01:31:00.580
But you all, I don't regret, even my spiritual daughter's dad, even my ex-husband and people

1332
01:31:00.580 --> 01:31:07.840
that have mistreated me, I don't regret loving them. I don't. It taught me so much,

1333
01:31:07.960 --> 01:31:13.340
even when they did not know how to handle or, or appreciate my love for them.

1334
01:31:14.220 --> 01:31:22.020
There's a song that I walked down the aisle to, to Brian. It's from the Marry Me. It's called

1335
01:31:22.020 --> 01:31:27.120
On My Way. Jennifer Lopez sings it. Y'all will have to check it out. But it's basically like,

1336
01:31:27.800 --> 01:31:34.060
it's basically summing up that, like, every hardship I went through, I was on my way to

1337
01:31:34.060 --> 01:31:39.920
him. I was on my way to Brian. And I don't think it was God's intention for me to go through all

1338
01:31:39.920 --> 01:31:46.040
those things. But because I did, and I allowed God to heal me and help me forgive those people,

1339
01:31:46.040 --> 01:31:52.880
help me forgive myself. I have been able to receive the love of this incredible man on a,

1340
01:31:52.880 --> 01:31:59.160
on a, on a really important level that I've never been able to receive love before and acceptance

1341
01:32:00.620 --> 01:32:07.760
and, you know, silliness and all of the things that come with love. And so I just want you to

1342
01:32:07.760 --> 01:32:11.800
know, like what you've experienced in the past doesn't mean that's how you're going to always

1343
01:32:11.800 --> 01:32:17.180
experience that deep gift of love. I think God wants to teach you some new things about that

1344
01:32:17.180 --> 01:32:24.440
in the days ahead. It's kind of learning how to wield a sword, if you will. You know, I don't

1345
01:32:24.440 --> 01:32:28.100
know if I'm just making this up, but this is the idea that's coming to mind. But, you know,

1346
01:32:28.100 --> 01:32:33.540
when people first start learning how to wield a sword, they, I imagine they have smaller swords

1347
01:32:33.540 --> 01:32:38.620
and they are learning on that level. And then I would think with their skill that maybe they get

1348
01:32:38.620 --> 01:32:44.140
bigger sword and it's, it's no different. Like we have to learn how to wield the sword of the

1349
01:32:44.140 --> 01:32:50.260
spirit. We have to learn how to walk in our gifts and the abilities that God has given us. And one

1350
01:32:50.260 --> 01:32:57.100
of yours is the gift of probably mercy. That's partnering with the love there. And so I hope,

1351
01:32:57.100 --> 01:33:04.420
you know, to just see that this leads you into greater levels and capacities to attach versus

1352
01:33:04.420 --> 01:33:10.680
detach. So you're going to come out of agreement with the lie that I always struggle. And not that

1353
01:33:10.680 --> 01:33:15.280
you say this, but I just want you to kind of write it this way. I come out of agreement with the lie

1354
01:33:15.280 --> 01:33:22.480
that I am detached from people or I always detach and I can't grow close to someone. And I come into

1355
01:33:22.480 --> 01:33:30.980
agreement with the lie that I am capable of loving and receiving love. I am capable of connecting

1356
01:33:31.540 --> 01:33:36.800
and attaching in healthy ways where you just start to say that stuff and partner again with

1357
01:33:36.800 --> 01:33:41.180
those positive declarations over yourself and who you are and what you represent.

1358
01:33:42.940 --> 01:33:49.140
Yeah. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. I know that it's a, even that is a gift and God

1359
01:33:49.140 --> 01:33:55.100
is going to give you back a hundred fold for what you just poured out in front of all of us.

1360
01:33:55.100 --> 01:34:01.500
So thank you. God is good. You all, Gail, go ahead. And I know we're at nine 30. So if y'all

1361
01:34:01.500 --> 01:34:07.760
have to jump off, I totally understand. I am going to take Gail and Katie and shoot. I know your name.

1362
01:34:07.840 --> 01:34:14.800
I know your name. It's going to come to me. I see one more up there. Shana, right? Did I get it right?

1363
01:34:15.140 --> 01:34:21.760
Shana. Shana's number three. So Gail go right now. I think I got it right. Took me a second.

1364
01:34:21.760 --> 01:34:35.180
Gail, go ahead. Bethany, this year has been, I really have felt that alone type of feeling like

1365
01:34:35.920 --> 01:34:46.540
I truly have the gift that I can believe for everyone else. But

1366
01:34:46.540 --> 01:34:59.980
I really don't believe like I have so much unbelief in my heart that it will happen for me.

1367
01:35:03.280 --> 01:35:11.640
And a couple things came up, you confirmed it tonight when you said that you sent your

1368
01:35:11.640 --> 01:35:19.180
mom a gift and I was like, oh, drat, I'm supposed to do that with my three daughters.

1369
01:35:19.180 --> 01:35:30.220
So as you're saying it, I ordered the bracelets that I was supposed to do that a week ago.

1370
01:35:30.440 --> 01:35:31.900
God told me to do that.

1371
01:35:32.040 --> 01:35:36.240
I know he did and I struggled with it.

1372
01:35:38.100 --> 01:35:40.140
So you confirmed that, thank you.

1373
01:35:41.140 --> 01:35:57.120
Um, I think also when I was spotlighted, like little things came up in my, um, like, for

1374
01:35:57.120 --> 01:36:05.300
instance, uh, uh, Renee asked, what's your biggest failure, but God, God brought you

1375
01:36:05.300 --> 01:36:05.760
through.

1376
01:36:06.880 --> 01:36:14.380
Like I sugarcoated it because that was my biggest redemption story.

1377
01:36:15.580 --> 01:36:27.880
Like God brought beauty from ashes because when I was 17, I did quit school.

1378
01:36:28.180 --> 01:36:31.460
I did get involved in an occult group.

1379
01:36:32.020 --> 01:36:34.920
I was a glorified prostitute.

1380
01:36:35.840 --> 01:36:44.300
I got out, he brought me out of that and redeemed that part of my story.

1381
01:36:44.480 --> 01:36:54.760
But then it's like I picked the wrong person cause I wanted to fill and I know what I was

1382
01:36:54.760 --> 01:36:55.260
doing.

1383
01:36:56.160 --> 01:36:56.600
Yeah.

1384
01:36:56.740 --> 01:36:58.380
I saw the flags.

1385
01:36:59.260 --> 01:37:00.980
I wanted to be loved.

1386
01:37:02.700 --> 01:37:09.800
I don't know how I don't, I don't know.

1387
01:37:10.360 --> 01:37:11.420
So, okay.

1388
01:37:11.420 --> 01:37:13.020
Let's, let's pause here for a sec.

1389
01:37:14.620 --> 01:37:18.700
This is a good example of like, ladies and gentlemen, giving grace to yourselves.

1390
01:37:18.700 --> 01:37:22.800
Cause one of the things I hear her saying, she's talking about when that question was

1391
01:37:22.800 --> 01:37:25.140
asked during a spotlight, okay.

1392
01:37:25.140 --> 01:37:28.980
Spotlights as you know, when we do them in this community, it's kind of more of an upbeat,

1393
01:37:29.560 --> 01:37:36.700
it's more of a like, um, let's equate it to level one dating or maybe slightly stepping

1394
01:37:36.700 --> 01:37:37.460
into level two.

1395
01:37:37.560 --> 01:37:38.220
You're getting to know people.

1396
01:37:38.380 --> 01:37:40.240
So you're sharing lighthearted things.

1397
01:37:40.340 --> 01:37:40.780
Okay.

1398
01:37:41.220 --> 01:37:45.920
So she's asked a question, biggest failure that God brought you through.

1399
01:37:46.240 --> 01:37:48.740
And she said, I sugarcoated it.

1400
01:37:49.580 --> 01:37:55.660
And I can even hear as you're saying that to, to us scale that you feel some kind of

1401
01:37:55.660 --> 01:37:57.680
guilt about what you shared that night.

1402
01:37:57.680 --> 01:38:00.820
And I don't think you should, because here's the reality.

1403
01:38:00.820 --> 01:38:09.620
If you were on a first date and someone asked you a question like that, hopefully from the

1404
01:38:09.620 --> 01:38:17.140
coaching in this community, you would not answer and say, you know, the depth of what

1405
01:38:17.140 --> 01:38:22.080
you've been through, you might touch, you know, you're calling it sugarcoating, but

1406
01:38:22.080 --> 01:38:23.880
you might share at a very high level.

1407
01:38:23.960 --> 01:38:28.260
I went through something really hard when I was 17, you know, when I get to know you

1408
01:38:28.260 --> 01:38:32.500
better now, obviously in the spotlight, you might not be able to say that, but like, you're

1409
01:38:32.500 --> 01:38:38.840
going to save that deeper stuff or a deeper, deeper time and a place in the relationship

1410
01:38:38.840 --> 01:38:40.500
where it can sustain it.

1411
01:38:40.560 --> 01:38:45.700
So on the, on the spotlight, I can see where that would be a little bit tricky for someone,

1412
01:38:45.700 --> 01:38:52.120
like myself or like you, where we've gone through these really hard things, but it's okay for us

1413
01:38:52.180 --> 01:38:56.860
when we hear biggest failure, I don't always have to share.

1414
01:38:57.220 --> 01:39:00.820
Like, for example, I'm going to share something that I don't always share that I was raped in

1415
01:39:01.400 --> 01:39:01.400


1416
01:39:01.440 --> 01:39:09.780
I don't have to, I don't have to say that as my answer, because I went through other big

1417
01:39:09.780 --> 01:39:10.200
failures.

1418
01:39:11.260 --> 01:39:15.940
I wish I had gotten counseling for myself when I was married before.

1419
01:39:16.180 --> 01:39:19.440
I wish I wouldn't have waited for my ex-husband to get counseling.

1420
01:39:19.620 --> 01:39:22.880
That was, I feel like a big failure for me.

1421
01:39:24.840 --> 01:39:29.020
So, you know, again, like I want you to extend grace towards yourself.

1422
01:39:29.240 --> 01:39:35.600
That's why I brought that up and really release yourself from what I'm hearing in the spirit.

1423
01:39:35.700 --> 01:39:39.760
You know, we do this, woulda, coulda, shoulda, woulda, coulda, shoulda.

1424
01:39:39.760 --> 01:39:40.860
I should have done this.

1425
01:39:41.200 --> 01:39:44.380
I, you know, if I would have done this, then this would have happened.

1426
01:39:44.800 --> 01:39:45.920
Maybe I should have done this.

1427
01:39:45.980 --> 01:39:53.320
And I feel like it's just this kind of like a wicked web that the enemy kind of weaves.

1428
01:39:53.360 --> 01:39:59.840
And he wants to get us stuck in it where we keep rehearsing and rehearsing what we should have said.

1429
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.560
And again, if I would have said this, maybe they would have thought that maybe somebody

1430
01:40:04.560 --> 01:40:07.000
would have reached out to me from the single spotlight.

1431
01:40:07.080 --> 01:40:13.540
I don't know what the things you've been struggling with have been, but I want you to know that

1432
01:40:13.940 --> 01:40:20.060
it is okay that you gave an answer that did not reveal that part of your life that night.

1433
01:40:22.080 --> 01:40:28.600
So that you can just be free and really see that God is continuing to heal and mend and

1434
01:40:28.640 --> 01:40:34.320
restore the area where you're struggling to believe for yourself.

1435
01:40:36.800 --> 01:40:42.940
I think it just really goes back to again, the value thing I was talking about earlier

1436
01:40:43.860 --> 01:40:53.100
and really understanding that you are valuable to your spirit mate and that you are valuable

1437
01:40:53.100 --> 01:40:58.540
to God and that God, again, like I started tonight out, let me go to my notes.

1438
01:40:58.540 --> 01:41:00.180
So I don't say it the wrong way.

1439
01:41:00.760 --> 01:41:06.380
The blocks we experience are not God being unwilling to give it to you, Gail.

1440
01:41:08.160 --> 01:41:12.960
It's often rooted in our capacity to receive and remember in order to have the capacity

1441
01:41:12.960 --> 01:41:17.600
to receive is having the capacity to perceive it for ourselves.

1442
01:41:18.340 --> 01:41:25.500
So since that's what you're struggling with, I would encourage you to ask the Lord, what

1443
01:41:25.500 --> 01:41:27.080
is the mindset shift?

1444
01:41:27.080 --> 01:41:31.260
Remember our minds and our hearts are connected, so they're one.

1445
01:41:32.840 --> 01:41:40.580
So what is the mindset shift that needs to happen to help you actually deep down in your

1446
01:41:40.960 --> 01:41:46.060
spirit perceive that it's possible for you personally?

1447
01:41:47.500 --> 01:41:53.260
Maybe it's writing yourself a love note, maybe it's doing a lot of really kind things for

1448
01:41:53.260 --> 01:42:01.860
yourself in this season and owning that you are worth the kind acts that you're doing

1449
01:42:01.860 --> 01:42:02.780
towards yourself.

1450
01:42:03.280 --> 01:42:08.180
Because so often if we are not willing to love ourselves and be kind to ourselves, so

1451
01:42:08.180 --> 01:42:11.000
often we're not going to let other people do those things for us either.

1452
01:42:14.620 --> 01:42:19.380
Yeah, I, you know what, I'm sorry, it's a little hard for me to hear you.

1453
01:42:19.440 --> 01:42:21.740
Can you like come a little closer to you?

1454
01:42:21.900 --> 01:42:21.900


1455
01:42:21.900 --> 01:42:31.420
I think I'm trying to process it all because, you know, I worked in a field that, because

1456
01:42:31.420 --> 01:42:41.980
I was a scrub tech that we put up so many walls and so we didn't feel.

1457
01:42:42.980 --> 01:42:50.940
So like between that, I'm trying to process that, learn how to feel again.

1458
01:42:51.940 --> 01:43:03.840
And then all this past, this Christmas, the past like really surfaced, like how, like

1459
01:43:03.840 --> 01:43:15.760
I felt used and will a man really love and see my heart and not my body?

1460
01:43:16.620 --> 01:43:17.140
Yeah.

1461
01:43:18.400 --> 01:43:23.940
What I just felt like God was highlighting when you were saying that is like, I want

1462
01:43:23.940 --> 01:43:25.540
you, you're an amazing artist.

1463
01:43:25.620 --> 01:43:29.360
And so one of the things I would love for you to do is actually draw a picture of yourself

1464
01:43:29.360 --> 01:43:31.620
and this first one, don't spend a lot of time on it.

1465
01:43:31.620 --> 01:43:37.240
It's just a simple silhouette and I want you to put kind of like if you imagine a patch

1466
01:43:37.240 --> 01:43:39.740
and this is not where we're going to stay, but I'm going to have you do something with

1467
01:43:39.740 --> 01:43:40.100
us.

1468
01:43:40.380 --> 01:43:45.220
You know, like back in the day I said, I felt like I was walking around with this divorced,

1469
01:43:45.600 --> 01:43:48.400
like this label that was condemning me.

1470
01:43:48.400 --> 01:43:48.760
Right.

1471
01:43:49.160 --> 01:43:50.920
But I want you to write used.

1472
01:43:51.780 --> 01:43:56.620
And then what I want you to do is I want you to X a big black X over that thing because

1473
01:43:56.620 --> 01:43:58.040
that is not who you are.

1474
01:43:58.040 --> 01:43:58.420
Yes.

1475
01:43:58.420 --> 01:43:59.460
Shawnee is scarlet letter.

1476
01:43:59.460 --> 01:44:03.920
And then I want you to draw another picture of yourself that you spend more time on that

1477
01:44:03.920 --> 01:44:08.080
you really put some love and care into, maybe even color that.

1478
01:44:08.480 --> 01:44:12.700
And then I want you to put a different label over your head above that one, but I want

1479
01:44:12.700 --> 01:44:14.440
you to get that label from the Lord.

1480
01:44:16.460 --> 01:44:22.260
So remember, revealing for healing the cycle, you're going to process all the way through

1481
01:44:22.260 --> 01:44:23.160
to the truth.

1482
01:44:23.160 --> 01:44:27.820
So the truth to replace the lie that you are going to be used, that you are used.

1483
01:44:27.820 --> 01:44:31.500
Um, so what is God saying about your identity?

1484
01:44:31.780 --> 01:44:32.780
That isn't what he's saying.

1485
01:44:33.060 --> 01:44:38.540
So leaning into what does he say about you and then partnering with that and activating

1486
01:44:38.540 --> 01:44:44.180
it, I think is again, remember that sometimes it's a lot of little baby steps that get us

1487
01:44:44.180 --> 01:44:49.000
to the breakthrough for some people, other people, it's these big, massive swings and

1488
01:44:49.000 --> 01:44:53.340
they're like getting breakthrough, like immediately both are equally important.

1489
01:44:53.340 --> 01:44:59.720
Both are equally important because every step of healing that you're experiencing, you're

1490
01:44:59.720 --> 01:44:59.980
learning, both are equally important.

1491
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:07.160
something really important about yourself, about other people, about God himself. And so keep

1492
01:45:07.160 --> 01:45:15.060
going. We are praying for you and believing with you and cheering you on. I would love to see you

1493
01:45:15.060 --> 01:45:19.680
post that activation, preferably in the Facebook group. I tend to see those quicker. You all,

1494
01:45:20.060 --> 01:45:29.980
then I see the app group, but if you're willing, if you feel comfortable to, to post that in the

1495
01:45:29.980 --> 01:45:36.100
under that old lie that you are used and you're always going to be used into the truth of who

1496
01:45:36.100 --> 01:45:42.700
God is saying that you are in the days to come. Okay. Okay. Awesome. We're cheering you on. I

1497
01:45:42.700 --> 01:45:50.060
love you so much. Thank you. Katie, go ahead. I was laughing earlier because you were talking

1498
01:45:50.060 --> 01:45:54.980
about the clutter and I have purged my house. If we don't have a couch right now, we have beanbag

1499
01:45:54.980 --> 01:45:59.940
that's kind of laughing, but that's not what I wanted to talk about. I thought it was funny, but

1500
01:46:00.620 --> 01:46:06.860
so a couple of weeks ago I was really struggling on the online dating. I had Facebook date and a

1501
01:46:06.860 --> 01:46:11.720
couple of other platforms, but they were all the time was kind of running up, running out on them.

1502
01:46:12.440 --> 01:46:17.880
And I don't give out my phone number, but I had quite a few guys on Snapchat and I was really,

1503
01:46:18.400 --> 01:46:22.760
it was the most attention I had gotten out of the last probably six months.

1504
01:46:23.640 --> 01:46:30.780
Um, there were quite a few different guys that I actually had an attraction to and had that,

1505
01:46:31.400 --> 01:46:36.400
oh, okay, well they're godly men and they speak of God and, and not necessarily an action because

1506
01:46:36.400 --> 01:46:42.140
I hadn't met like most of them. But, um, anyway, I was just kind of struggling because it was a lot.

1507
01:46:42.200 --> 01:46:47.300
And so I prayed and I, I just asked God, you know, this is not of you, please remove it.

1508
01:46:47.880 --> 01:46:54.840
No joke. Two days later, my Snapchat like went silent. Guys that I had talked to every single

1509
01:46:54.840 --> 01:46:59.220
day just either didn't even open those Snapchats or they open them and just don't respond.

1510
01:46:59.580 --> 01:47:05.860
And then I got kicked off a Facebook date. I can't get anybody at Facebook to reply to me.

1511
01:47:05.920 --> 01:47:13.160
I've never said like a cuss word. I've never made a sexual innuendo. I mean, I've had people say it

1512
01:47:13.160 --> 01:47:18.340
to me and I just kind of unmatch and go on. Like I don't even report people. So I kind of felt like

1513
01:47:18.340 --> 01:47:24.500
that was a very hard stop from God. Like saying, okay, yeah, you're done with this now. Not forever,

1514
01:47:24.740 --> 01:47:31.300
but in this kind of season. So I've taken this time to really reflect and clean, like, clean out

1515
01:47:31.300 --> 01:47:36.840
my house. Like I said, I'm getting rid of a bunch of stuff and just really concentrate on my

1516
01:47:36.840 --> 01:47:44.100
relationship with God, but I'm not getting any like neon flashing signs of like, Hey, this is

1517
01:47:44.100 --> 01:47:48.080
something you should be working on or this is something you should be digging into. Or this

1518
01:47:48.080 --> 01:47:52.040
is a forgiveness prayer you should be working on or anything like that. So I guess I'm just,

1519
01:47:52.560 --> 01:47:57.580
I don't know if I should just kind of be baking in this season or what I should be doing. So if

1520
01:47:57.580 --> 01:48:03.780
you have any suggestions, I'm all ears. I have a question for you. Okay. So are you typically

1521
01:48:03.780 --> 01:48:11.640
someone that you kind of always have to have something to be working on regarding yourself?

1522
01:48:12.200 --> 01:48:19.520
Oh yeah. Okay. Well, that's why you don't have any neon flashing signs right now. Just FYI,

1523
01:48:20.380 --> 01:48:26.320
because I do think that when you said that, I feel like God is saying to just rest,

1524
01:48:27.660 --> 01:48:34.120
to just rest and enjoy kind of the bliss of this season. And again, I know you all, when I say that

1525
01:48:34.120 --> 01:48:38.560
I'm not saying it's easy because when we're, we want to be with our spirit mate and we have all

1526
01:48:38.560 --> 01:48:45.200
these desires, you know, yeah, it can be a little tricky, but I feel like there's like, I keep

1527
01:48:45.200 --> 01:48:50.400
hearing the word bliss. Like God is, he wants you to experience kind of like Christmas in a fresh

1528
01:48:50.400 --> 01:48:58.400
way this year where there's just something new that you understand that bliss of like,

1529
01:48:59.640 --> 01:49:05.480
like Jesus came for you. Like he came for everyone, but he came like, what does that mean for you?

1530
01:49:05.480 --> 01:49:12.120
Katie, without you doing anything like slowing down and just doing nothing for a little bit,

1531
01:49:13.180 --> 01:49:18.160
like you don't have to perform for him. You don't have to, Ooh, for the Holy spirit,

1532
01:49:18.160 --> 01:49:23.840
maybe that's why the whole apps shut down. Like you don't have to strive for your spirit mate.

1533
01:49:24.120 --> 01:49:30.000
You don't, you get to partner with God. And I love that you had that flurry of activity,

1534
01:49:30.000 --> 01:49:34.980
because I think it actually kind of encouraged you and gave you kind of some confidence boosters

1535
01:49:34.980 --> 01:49:42.560
that I think you probably were helpful to you. But God is, is, is wanting you to know that

1536
01:49:43.780 --> 01:49:49.780
he can, he can lead your spirit mate to you. Like, like that he really can. And,

1537
01:49:49.780 --> 01:49:55.100
and understanding that you don't have to perform, you don't have to keep working really hard on

1538
01:49:55.100 --> 01:49:59.980
yourself. You just get to kind of receive right now and whatever that looks like.

1539
01:50:00.960 --> 01:50:05.960
I think it will mean something different to you, maybe even every day, maybe every week.

1540
01:50:06.540 --> 01:50:10.920
That it's almost like, you know, the little advent calendars where,

1541
01:50:11.780 --> 01:50:16.480
or yeah, where they open, you open a little door once a day, or sometimes there's the ones,

1542
01:50:16.520 --> 01:50:20.800
there's, it's actually a house and inside every little door, there's like a little gift that you

1543
01:50:20.800 --> 01:50:25.000
open up or whatever. That's kind of what I'm imagining in the spirit. It's like kind of

1544
01:50:25.000 --> 01:50:30.920
every day God wants to just, he wants you to open the door with like this, like, God,

1545
01:50:30.980 --> 01:50:35.380
what do you want to show me today? What do you want me to experience about you today?

1546
01:50:35.380 --> 01:50:42.760
And he wants to just show you something new. And I think it's almost about you being invited

1547
01:50:44.400 --> 01:50:50.040
into a new season regarding how you pursue him and how you pursue like,

1548
01:50:51.620 --> 01:50:56.320
like things about yourself, like this, it's not that you're going to stop doing the hard work or

1549
01:50:56.320 --> 01:51:02.040
that you're going to stop partnering with him and things. But I just feel like it's about shifting

1550
01:51:02.040 --> 01:51:09.660
out of working hard and always having to like, feel like you have to be doing something to be

1551
01:51:09.640 --> 01:51:14.300
okay. Does that resonate for you? Yeah, it does. So my spiritual mentor,

1552
01:51:14.360 --> 01:51:17.980
and I actually had a conversation very similar the other day, because she said,

1553
01:51:17.980 --> 01:51:23.300
she's like, God keeps putting you on my heart. And she said, I think you're supposed to rest,

1554
01:51:23.520 --> 01:51:29.040
like you're focusing on, you know, healing and doing all these things and putting yourself out

1555
01:51:29.040 --> 01:51:33.500
there. And I've changed, you know, places that I go so that I expose myself to different people.

1556
01:51:33.620 --> 01:51:37.560
And just, I've kind of changed so many things. And she said, you know, you've prayed for this

1557
01:51:37.560 --> 01:51:44.120
season of your life for so long. And now you're finally here and you just need to like, hang out

1558
01:51:44.120 --> 01:51:49.980
with God and just seek him. And so that's absolute confirmation. And here's the reality of this,

1559
01:51:50.240 --> 01:51:55.080
Katie, is what she's also saying there is part of what I've been talking about tonight.

1560
01:51:56.520 --> 01:52:04.780
You've been perceiving some things, and now you get to just receive them. Like you get to bask

1561
01:52:04.780 --> 01:52:08.440
in it. I think you kind of started saying something like that. It's like baking in it,

1562
01:52:08.640 --> 01:52:14.280
and yeah, that is, that is absolutely, I totally believe that that's, that is the season that

1563
01:52:14.280 --> 01:52:19.340
you're in right now. Thank you. You're welcome. Great question. Really, really appreciate you

1564
01:52:21.700 --> 01:52:29.720
sharing. All right, Shauna, go ahead. That is so crazy. I was doing the same thing.

1565
01:52:30.260 --> 01:52:36.860
I've just been exactly like her. What do I do? What do I work on? What do I need to fix? What

1566
01:52:36.860 --> 01:52:44.860
do I need to, you know, go back over? All those things as well. But I was going to say,

1567
01:52:45.920 --> 01:52:54.800
I'm sorry. This, this Thanksgiving, I was going to give a praise. My son is 36 years old.

1568
01:52:58.020 --> 01:53:00.780
I'm sorry. Right. You don't have to apologize.

1569
01:53:02.540 --> 01:53:11.160
He was born very premature, and he has a lot of mental issues, but it's really hard for the

1570
01:53:11.800 --> 01:53:17.140
holidays because he's very, he likes to like stand like right over me and just be all, you know, and

1571
01:53:17.140 --> 01:53:22.460
I told him, I said, bub, I love you, and I'm going to spend time with you, but I need you to go sit

1572
01:53:22.460 --> 01:53:27.280
down over there for a little bit. And, and while I'm, you know, finishing putting my face on or

1573
01:53:27.280 --> 01:53:35.580
I, y'all talk about the boundaries and that is really, I actually use those that I actually had

1574
01:53:35.580 --> 01:53:40.740
a really, you know, and just would be like, okay, well not today or just talk to him. Really.

1575
01:53:41.240 --> 01:53:46.980
The boundaries thing has really helped a lot. And then also with my mother, I know I made a

1576
01:53:46.980 --> 01:53:56.040
joke in the comment about my mom and your mom being sisters, but she, she's, she's hard sometimes

1577
01:53:56.040 --> 01:54:01.580
too. So to put her and him and everybody, yes, the personalities, but we actually, for the first

1578
01:54:01.880 --> 01:54:06.760
time, thank you, God had a decent, or I don't mean we get together and fuss and fighting or

1579
01:54:06.760 --> 01:54:12.200
anything like that, but the personalities are very stretched. So we actually, you know, we took

1580
01:54:12.200 --> 01:54:17.240
little breaks, you know, and kinda, but we actually did really good this year. I was very proud,

1581
01:54:17.500 --> 01:54:24.480
but I have been, I've talked to a few guys. I may, I think I've met one or two, but I just don't get

1582
01:54:24.480 --> 01:54:34.240
past, I haven't been getting past the first visit. I don't know if I need to go back through this

1583
01:54:34.240 --> 01:54:40.700
stuff yet. I am trying, I've been like Gail too, of lately we've been fighting with it,

1584
01:54:40.700 --> 01:54:43.600
but I don't know if it's my location of being way out

1585
01:54:45.940 --> 01:54:52.200
hundreds of miles away from everyone. It's probably part of it, but I don't know.

1586
01:54:52.200 --> 01:54:56.040
So what you're talking about, Shauna, is really important.

1587
01:54:56.580 --> 01:54:59.940
It's really the crux of my message tonight, if you think about it.

1588
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:05.680
The boundaries that you are learning to set with your family are so important to your

1589
01:55:06.300 --> 01:55:12.060
healing process and the way, like even hearing you tonight, I hope that you recognize how

1590
01:55:12.060 --> 01:55:12.740
much you've grown.

1591
01:55:13.400 --> 01:55:15.560
I feel like you're a different person tonight.

1592
01:55:17.220 --> 01:55:17.900
That's funny.

1593
01:55:17.940 --> 01:55:18.380
You said that.

1594
01:55:18.540 --> 01:55:24.520
I just went to a, um, I went to a lady, uh, Lisa Schwartz.

1595
01:55:24.600 --> 01:55:29.660
I don't know if anybody knows her, she's a prophetic lady, but she, I went to her thing

1596
01:55:29.660 --> 01:55:34.240
last April and I just went to her service a few months ago and she goes, I've met you

1597
01:55:34.240 --> 01:55:34.660
before.

1598
01:55:34.860 --> 01:55:35.880
Haven't I?

1599
01:55:35.920 --> 01:55:36.560
Haven't I met?

1600
01:55:36.940 --> 01:55:38.660
Oh my gosh, you, you were different.

1601
01:55:39.100 --> 01:55:40.920
It was just funny.

1602
01:55:40.920 --> 01:55:41.160
Yeah.

1603
01:55:41.200 --> 01:55:46.040
I, you know, I've coached you as you know, before, not only on sessions like this, but

1604
01:55:46.040 --> 01:55:50.700
like one-on-one and I can tell you that I hear a different woman tonight.

1605
01:55:50.700 --> 01:55:53.500
I you're setting healthy boundaries with your son.

1606
01:55:53.500 --> 01:55:56.080
You're setting healthy boundaries with your mom.

1607
01:55:56.120 --> 01:55:57.960
You're like, Hey, we're, we're together.

1608
01:55:57.960 --> 01:56:00.640
It's not perfect, but we're taking breaks when we need it.

1609
01:56:00.860 --> 01:56:07.120
And like, I just am saying to you, like, that is not things you were saying, you know, a

1610
01:56:07.120 --> 01:56:08.180
year ago or whatever.

1611
01:56:08.340 --> 01:56:11.420
So I want you to take some time to celebrate your growth.

1612
01:56:11.800 --> 01:56:16.940
And instead of like working on or asking God, what should I work on next?

1613
01:56:16.940 --> 01:56:21.640
I want you just to start like keeping track of your wins, because I think that that's

1614
01:56:21.640 --> 01:56:25.760
going to continue to build your confidence and, and the direction that you're going.

1615
01:56:26.660 --> 01:56:31.500
But tonight, like the core of the message is like, you know, forgiveness and us walking

1616
01:56:31.500 --> 01:56:36.620
and healing how a lot of times that is going to unlock things in other areas of our life.

1617
01:56:36.620 --> 01:56:41.680
And so I believe that the more that you walk out this healing in your family relationships

1618
01:56:41.680 --> 01:56:46.740
and even grow in your confidence and things that, you know, we've been talking about it

1619
01:56:46.740 --> 01:56:49.220
is going to, it's going to change things for you.

1620
01:56:49.420 --> 01:56:54.140
And I do want to encourage you and I don't know if I told you this story before, but

1621
01:56:54.140 --> 01:56:59.240
when I was in the bootcamp, the, what we now call the heartwork, there was a woman.

1622
01:56:59.900 --> 01:57:01.780
Her name was Tarsh.

1623
01:57:02.200 --> 01:57:03.800
I think that's how you say it.

1624
01:57:04.160 --> 01:57:08.360
She was from Australia and I think it was birth.

1625
01:57:09.040 --> 01:57:15.020
I might be wrong, but she was from a very, like a place in Australia where there's not

1626
01:57:15.020 --> 01:57:15.720
a lot of people.

1627
01:57:17.100 --> 01:57:21.760
And I remember like, she kept saying, like, I don't think I'm ever going to meet anybody.

1628
01:57:21.760 --> 01:57:30.360
Like I know everybody here, like, you know and you all, she did meet someone and he is

1629
01:57:30.360 --> 01:57:31.400
amazing and they're married.

1630
01:57:32.920 --> 01:57:37.080
And so I don't actually remember how God brought them together.

1631
01:57:37.080 --> 01:57:38.960
So I'll try to find that out.

1632
01:57:39.040 --> 01:57:41.880
It's been a while since I heard their story, but that came to mind.

1633
01:57:42.180 --> 01:57:48.020
Like it, I thought of that for you tonight, that even if you are kind of far out away

1634
01:57:48.020 --> 01:57:50.900
from people, even it was Perth.

1635
01:57:50.980 --> 01:57:51.600
I said it wrong.

1636
01:57:51.760 --> 01:57:52.000
Perth.

1637
01:57:52.340 --> 01:57:54.020
Thank you, Erin, Erin Joy.

1638
01:57:55.440 --> 01:58:04.100
I want you to really partner with, like, sometimes it's just about us not seeing the person or

1639
01:58:04.100 --> 01:58:05.020
them seeing us.

1640
01:58:05.320 --> 01:58:08.480
And, and that is because there's things that need healed in us.

1641
01:58:08.540 --> 01:58:15.220
And it's in like, when we step into that place, it's like we, we become seen.

1642
01:58:15.220 --> 01:58:19.360
I don't know if any of you all on here, you can go ahead and put in the chat if you resonate

1643
01:58:19.360 --> 01:58:23.720
with this, but when I was going through the heartwork and the healing process, it was

1644
01:58:23.720 --> 01:58:28.180
kind of like before that, I just felt like I would be out and about and no guys would

1645
01:58:28.180 --> 01:58:29.320
look at me at all.

1646
01:58:29.400 --> 01:58:33.580
Like, and I wasn't looking for unhealthy attention, but it was kind of like, I felt invisible

1647
01:58:33.580 --> 01:58:35.740
and it was really, really awkward and hard.

1648
01:58:36.160 --> 01:58:41.360
And then when I went through the heartwork, it was kind of like, oh my gosh, like I would

1649
01:58:41.360 --> 01:58:44.640
notice like people noticing me, not even just men, but like women.

1650
01:58:44.640 --> 01:58:48.300
I finally, like, I was like, oh my gosh, I feel like something's different now.

1651
01:58:48.920 --> 01:58:51.300
And that's going to happen more and more for you.

1652
01:58:51.300 --> 01:58:57.340
The more that your confidence grows, the more value that you understand about yourself and

1653
01:58:57.340 --> 01:59:02.620
give yourself that gift of celebrating your wins, celebrating yourself and how far you

1654
01:59:02.620 --> 01:59:03.860
come, you have come.

1655
01:59:03.860 --> 01:59:07.400
I think it's going to continue to create this momentum in you.

1656
01:59:07.400 --> 01:59:09.180
That's going to change some other things.

1657
01:59:09.500 --> 01:59:11.880
And so I'm excited for you.

1658
01:59:12.440 --> 01:59:13.140
Thank you.

1659
01:59:13.140 --> 01:59:14.700
Thank you very much.

1660
01:59:14.700 --> 01:59:15.640
Yeah, you're welcome.

1661
01:59:16.080 --> 01:59:16.160
Ladies.

1662
01:59:16.400 --> 01:59:21.200
This is why it's so important and gentlemen, both to not give up on yourself and really

1663
01:59:21.200 --> 01:59:24.600
ask God to show you how he sees you on a regular basis.

1664
01:59:25.020 --> 01:59:26.600
We are at almost 10 o'clock.

1665
01:59:26.640 --> 01:59:28.120
I'm going to go ahead and close this down for tonight.

1666
01:59:28.300 --> 01:59:29.540
Thank you for everyone that shared.

1667
01:59:29.660 --> 01:59:32.360
It's been really awesome to be here with all of you tonight.

1668
01:59:32.700 --> 01:59:37.760
I feel honored to be in this season, to be a part of this community and to get an opportunity

1669
01:59:37.820 --> 01:59:38.720
to know you.

1670
01:59:38.720 --> 01:59:43.700
And so God loves you and I want you to hold on to that this season and he's not going

1671
01:59:43.700 --> 01:59:44.240
to fail you.

1672
01:59:45.180 --> 01:59:45.460
Okay.

1673
01:59:45.920 --> 01:59:48.380
His promise is sure.

1674
01:59:50.480 --> 01:59:54.840
But sometimes the enemy will try to delay things and sometimes things in us that need

1675
01:59:55.040 --> 01:59:56.320
healed, block it.

1676
01:59:56.640 --> 01:59:58.140
Remember, God is not unwilling.

1677
01:59:58.820 --> 01:59:59.980
Father, thank you so much for.

1678
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:02.180
This night, I thank you for everything that you're doing,

1679
02:00:02.740 --> 02:00:04.100
God, in us, through us, God,

1680
02:00:04.120 --> 02:00:07.020
I thank you that you're increasing our capacity tonight

1681
02:00:08.080 --> 02:00:09.920
to perceive what you have for us,

1682
02:00:10.020 --> 02:00:11.740
to receive what you have for us, God,

1683
02:00:11.740 --> 02:00:14.200
that you are good father who gives good

1684
02:00:14.200 --> 02:00:15.760
and perfect gifts to your children.

1685
02:00:15.940 --> 02:00:17.580
I thank you that you would just guard

1686
02:00:17.580 --> 02:00:19.060
and keep watch over us, God.

1687
02:00:20.640 --> 02:00:23.660
Yeah, Lord, touch all of the hearts of those that are here,

1688
02:00:23.740 --> 02:00:24.860
those that are gonna watch the replay,

1689
02:00:24.980 --> 02:00:26.780
where there's loneliness, God.

1690
02:00:27.240 --> 02:00:29.040
Thank you that you would fill their cup

1691
02:00:29.040 --> 02:00:32.420
with the fullness of joy, with the fullness of their value,

1692
02:00:32.600 --> 02:00:34.620
that they would see themselves through your eyes, God,

1693
02:00:34.660 --> 02:00:36.280
that you would remove loneliness

1694
02:00:36.480 --> 02:00:40.080
and fill them with just people surrounding them

1695
02:00:40.080 --> 02:00:42.140
and them reaching out to other people.

1696
02:00:42.260 --> 02:00:45.700
And God, I pray that this would be the best season ever,

1697
02:00:46.080 --> 02:00:48.300
God, that we would come out of alignment of fear

1698
02:00:48.360 --> 02:00:50.020
and panic over this season,

1699
02:00:50.100 --> 02:00:51.820
but God, we would embrace this season

1700
02:00:51.820 --> 02:00:53.540
and that we would overcome it

1701
02:00:53.540 --> 02:00:56.860
and we would celebrate not only you in it,

1702
02:00:56.860 --> 02:01:00.160
but God, our ability to be who we are in this season.

1703
02:01:00.540 --> 02:01:03.200
And that isn't someone who's lacking something

1704
02:01:03.720 --> 02:01:04.820
because we're single.

1705
02:01:04.940 --> 02:01:08.300
God, we have something of value to offer right now,

1706
02:01:08.560 --> 02:01:11.060
right where we're at and even more so in the days to come.

1707
02:01:11.260 --> 02:01:13.260
I pray that you'll help us understand that

1708
02:01:13.260 --> 02:01:16.200
more and more and more in Jesus name, amen.

1709
02:01:16.400 --> 02:01:17.240
God bless you all.

1710
02:01:17.360 --> 02:01:18.600
Have a great night, everyone.

1711
02:01:18.880 --> 02:01:19.340
Bye-bye.

1712
02:01:19.440 --> 02:01:20.580
Thank you, bye.