WEBVTT

1
00:00:05.060 --> 00:00:05.860
Hey, everyone.

2
00:00:07.280 --> 00:00:09.160
Happy I had to think about what day it is.

3
00:00:09.440 --> 00:00:09.840
It's Tuesday.

4
00:00:10.140 --> 00:00:12.300
Y'all, it's already felt like a full week in two days.

5
00:00:13.020 --> 00:00:18.180
It's really amazing and fun to have a church and be a part of last year's single always,

6
00:00:18.540 --> 00:00:21.920
but especially in the Christmas season, y'all, lots of fun things happening.

7
00:00:22.100 --> 00:00:23.940
I'm so glad that you're here joining us tonight.

8
00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:25.960
If you've never met me before, I'm Bethany Cooper.

9
00:00:26.480 --> 00:00:29.980
I'm one of the master heartwork coaches here in the community and just on the executive

10
00:00:29.980 --> 00:00:34.040
team and just honored always to be here with all of you.

11
00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:35.600
I love seeing you.

12
00:00:35.980 --> 00:00:40.180
And I hope tonight some of you that I feel like there's some that have wanted to ask

13
00:00:40.180 --> 00:00:45.380
questions about heartwork, but you kind of just feel nervous to step forward and raise

14
00:00:45.380 --> 00:00:45.900
your hand.

15
00:00:45.900 --> 00:00:50.400
And so I just want to kind of set the tone right before we start tonight, that if that's

16
00:00:50.820 --> 00:00:55.480
you that I'm praying for you, that you would have the courage to ask the questions that

17
00:00:55.480 --> 00:00:56.180
you need to ask.

18
00:00:56.260 --> 00:01:02.480
I know it can be a little intimidating sometimes, but what I do know is the times that I myself

19
00:01:02.480 --> 00:01:07.220
have stepped forward and asked questions about this topic, you know, any area that I need

20
00:01:07.220 --> 00:01:11.500
heart healing, whether that was here in our community or in the past through other outlets

21
00:01:11.500 --> 00:01:15.340
and things like that, it is often the times that I've gotten the most breakthrough.

22
00:01:15.500 --> 00:01:18.180
And so I want to encourage you all to go ahead and step into that.

23
00:01:18.180 --> 00:01:21.080
If that applies to you, I'm going to go ahead and pray.

24
00:01:21.080 --> 00:01:26.980
We are going to talk tonight about giving the gift of forgiveness and ways that unforgiveness

25
00:01:26.980 --> 00:01:28.660
can block our love story.

26
00:01:29.400 --> 00:01:34.280
So that's kind of our core content, but I'm super excited to activate you all a lot.

27
00:01:34.340 --> 00:01:36.480
I want you to be very engaged tonight.

28
00:01:36.560 --> 00:01:38.360
So prepare your heart for that as well.

29
00:01:38.740 --> 00:01:41.920
I'm going to give you questions and I would love for you to respond in the chat.

30
00:01:42.240 --> 00:01:44.300
I know sometimes our chat goes really fast.

31
00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:49.880
So if I say one person's and I don't say yours, please know it is, please don't take that

32
00:01:49.980 --> 00:01:50.300
personal.

33
00:01:50.620 --> 00:01:51.140
Okay.

34
00:01:51.140 --> 00:01:54.900
Sometimes I just can't read as fast as the teleprompter in a sense.

35
00:01:55.240 --> 00:01:56.660
It's giving me your information.

36
00:01:57.100 --> 00:01:59.980
Obviously it's not a teleprompter, but sometimes it feels like that.

37
00:01:59.980 --> 00:02:01.820
Sometimes we're trying to read it so fast.

38
00:02:01.960 --> 00:02:07.380
And so please still engage because again, it's not so much about whether I see what

39
00:02:07.380 --> 00:02:09.080
you say and read it out.

40
00:02:09.080 --> 00:02:15.620
It's more about you identifying these things for yourself and speaking them out, texting

41
00:02:15.620 --> 00:02:19.460
them out, typing them out, whatever, because that's about you getting your breakthrough.

42
00:02:19.460 --> 00:02:20.860
All right.

43
00:02:21.060 --> 00:02:22.780
Father, thank you so much for this night.

44
00:02:23.740 --> 00:02:28.400
God, I thank you that you sent your son so that we could have forgiveness, so that we

45
00:02:28.400 --> 00:02:35.040
could be in relationship with you, God, so that we could be healed and delivered.

46
00:02:35.660 --> 00:02:40.760
And God, that we would receive revelation and have a connection with you in heaven greater

47
00:02:40.760 --> 00:02:42.360
than anything we could ever imagine.

48
00:02:42.560 --> 00:02:48.120
Lord, I pray that even like the man with the withered hand, when Jesus entered the tomb,

49
00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:55.380
you know, he's sitting there and he's kind of holding that hand, God, but you sent Jesus

50
00:02:55.380 --> 00:02:59.500
to him and asked Jesus to say to him, stretch it out.

51
00:02:59.580 --> 00:03:03.580
So Lord tonight, I pray that those that are here, that if there's any area where they

52
00:03:03.580 --> 00:03:09.020
have struggled to forgive someone, even some of them where there might be things subconsciously

53
00:03:09.020 --> 00:03:13.700
that they don't even remember that they don't forgive someone, because sometimes we're just

54
00:03:13.700 --> 00:03:15.840
surviving and that stuff just gets pushed down.

55
00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:20.200
God, I pray that you would help them to remember these things, that they would come to the

56
00:03:20.200 --> 00:03:24.120
surface and God, that you would give them the grace and the courage and the endowment

57
00:03:24.120 --> 00:03:28.420
of power from heaven, the same power that rose Jesus from the dead, that it's there,

58
00:03:28.500 --> 00:03:32.220
it's available to them, that you, Holy Spirit, are here with us and you're going to help

59
00:03:32.500 --> 00:03:37.400
us to stretch out our hands, so to speak, to you tonight, to extend the most vulnerable

60
00:03:37.520 --> 00:03:43.960
places, God, and to see like literally how when we do, that movement can come back into

61
00:03:43.960 --> 00:03:49.240
that limb, back into that place in our heart and that we would be just open, God, that

62
00:03:49.240 --> 00:03:54.700
our hearts, our minds, our spirits would be open fully to you tonight to receive all that

63
00:03:54.700 --> 00:03:58.980
you have for us and more and more and more in the days to come, that we would remember

64
00:03:59.200 --> 00:04:05.540
most importantly, that you love us, God, and that nothing can separate us from your love.

65
00:04:05.720 --> 00:04:07.600
In Jesus name, amen.

66
00:04:08.060 --> 00:04:12.600
So as we start tonight, just a couple of things I want you all to be thinking about as we,

67
00:04:12.600 --> 00:04:17.600
I know we hear forgiveness stuff a lot, being in the body of Christ, this is something that

68
00:04:17.600 --> 00:04:22.560
gets talked about and especially being here in a community where core principles of what

69
00:04:22.560 --> 00:04:28.080
we teach are rooted in heartwork and healing and forgiveness, repentance, confession, you

70
00:04:28.080 --> 00:04:33.120
know, that cycle that we take you all through over and over again, but I hope that we don't

71
00:04:35.800 --> 00:04:41.700
underestimate the power in forgiveness and that it doesn't become kind of like, oh yeah,

72
00:04:41.700 --> 00:04:44.520
I've heard that before and I'm still stuck.

73
00:04:45.800 --> 00:04:48.340
Every single day we have an opportunity for an upgrade.

74
00:04:48.900 --> 00:04:54.080
And so I'm asking you just to kind of posture your heart in a place where no matter how

75
00:04:54.080 --> 00:04:59.200
many times you've heard about forgiveness, that you believe, not just, not because of

76
00:04:59.200 --> 00:04:59.680
me.

77
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:04.920
but that you believe that God tonight is going to meet you here and he's going to give you,

78
00:05:05.200 --> 00:05:08.680
even if it's one nugget, he's going to give you something that you need to step further

79
00:05:08.680 --> 00:05:09.640
into freedom tonight.

80
00:05:10.120 --> 00:05:16.400
So we're talking about the most powerful gift you can ever give, not just to other people,

81
00:05:16.440 --> 00:05:19.240
but to yourself and to your future love story.

82
00:05:19.620 --> 00:05:26.320
I want you to understand again, imagining that every time we choose to forgive and we

83
00:05:26.540 --> 00:05:30.820
choose to keep these short accounts, that it's impacting the things that are in our

84
00:05:30.820 --> 00:05:33.380
future to come, that it is releasing.

85
00:05:33.640 --> 00:05:34.800
It's like a divine exchange.

86
00:05:35.020 --> 00:05:38.940
It's releasing things from heaven as we choose to do it.

87
00:05:39.700 --> 00:05:45.560
Many of you have been praying for your spirit mate, but as Jackie and I were chatting, we

88
00:05:45.560 --> 00:05:49.820
had something else planned and I just kept feeling like we needed to do hard work again.

89
00:05:50.140 --> 00:05:54.560
And I almost was like, okay, is it just because I always want to do hard work, you know, Lord,

90
00:05:54.560 --> 00:05:58.940
or is this really something that your spirit is saying that the group and the community

91
00:05:59.180 --> 00:06:01.600
needs this month during December?

92
00:06:02.760 --> 00:06:06.660
And Jackie and I landed on, she kind of came in Sunday night.

93
00:06:06.720 --> 00:06:10.400
If you haven't heard that activation from Sunday night, I hope that you listen to that.

94
00:06:10.680 --> 00:06:14.300
That's where she really initially activated this, giving the gift of forgiveness.

95
00:06:14.300 --> 00:06:18.880
And then on the heels of that, I want to help you all unpack it a little bit more tonight.

96
00:06:19.240 --> 00:06:23.980
And so what we believe is that some of you have been praying for your spirit mate, but

97
00:06:23.980 --> 00:06:31.040
unforgiveness is potentially that thing that is keeping, it's actually blocking what God

98
00:06:31.040 --> 00:06:32.100
wants to give you.

99
00:06:32.420 --> 00:06:35.080
And here's what the important aspect is here.

100
00:06:36.220 --> 00:06:40.820
The blocks that we experience are not God being unwilling to give us something.

101
00:06:42.480 --> 00:06:48.060
It's often rooted in our capacity to receive the thing that he wants to give us.

102
00:06:48.840 --> 00:06:50.320
I'm going to say that again.

103
00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:57.620
The blocks that we experience are not because God is being unwilling to give us something.

104
00:06:58.700 --> 00:07:05.560
It's often rooted in our capacity to receive a thing or not.

105
00:07:05.780 --> 00:07:11.460
So we're going to talk first about the capacity connection factor and how important capacity is.

106
00:07:11.480 --> 00:07:20.300
And I don't know if you guys, even the last couple months, I've kind of put capacity into the

107
00:07:20.300 --> 00:07:24.500
to me personally over and over again.

108
00:07:25.080 --> 00:07:27.340
Everything is about capacity.

109
00:07:28.240 --> 00:07:28.240


110
00:07:28.800 --> 00:07:31.660
And so why forgiveness unlocks our love story.

111
00:07:32.140 --> 00:07:35.120
We need capacity to number one, perceive it.

112
00:07:35.260 --> 00:07:35.560
Okay.

113
00:07:35.560 --> 00:07:36.780
So that's the first step.

114
00:07:37.000 --> 00:07:42.240
Do we have the capacity to perceive that God has a spirit mate for us?

115
00:07:44.500 --> 00:07:48.700
And not just a fleeting thought because you're in this community and you hear it all the time,

116
00:07:48.700 --> 00:07:53.620
but do you actually have the capacity in your mind to perceive,

117
00:07:53.800 --> 00:07:57.200
to literally perceive yourself getting married,

118
00:07:57.620 --> 00:08:01.680
to perceive yourself in the spirit realm encountering your spirit mate?

119
00:08:01.960 --> 00:08:05.040
And this isn't to shame you if that's something you struggle with,

120
00:08:05.340 --> 00:08:08.200
but I believe God wants to increase your faith tonight.

121
00:08:08.900 --> 00:08:11.460
Because guess who is the capacity increaser?

122
00:08:12.020 --> 00:08:13.440
It's the spirit.

123
00:08:13.980 --> 00:08:16.520
It's the spirit that breathes life.

124
00:08:17.520 --> 00:08:20.620
God literally created stuff out of nothing.

125
00:08:21.740 --> 00:08:26.420
Do we think that he can't create the capacity within us to perceive a thing?

126
00:08:27.440 --> 00:08:31.680
That's why the man said, I believe help my unbelief.

127
00:08:32.440 --> 00:08:33.440
Why did he say that?

128
00:08:33.460 --> 00:08:37.760
Well, he believed it, but yet he was struggling to perceive it.

129
00:08:38.340 --> 00:08:41.760
Until we encounter something, sometimes it is,

130
00:08:41.900 --> 00:08:44.860
it's still hard to believe that that thing can come to pass.

131
00:08:46.520 --> 00:08:48.880
So if you're struggling to perceive it,

132
00:08:49.040 --> 00:08:51.720
if you're struggling not just to imagine it in a fleeting moment,

133
00:08:51.760 --> 00:08:56.460
but to literally have an encounter where in your soul, in your spirit,

134
00:08:57.080 --> 00:09:02.040
you are envisioning, you are feeling that spirit mate on their way.

135
00:09:02.560 --> 00:09:05.800
Long before I met Brian, I started feeling a ring on my finger.

136
00:09:06.820 --> 00:09:08.940
I could sense it in the spirit.

137
00:09:09.320 --> 00:09:13.480
Literally when I went on, and this was all the way back in 2021 in May,

138
00:09:13.480 --> 00:09:16.620
the first retreat that Jackie, that I know of that she ever had,

139
00:09:17.120 --> 00:09:18.640
I went on that in Austin.

140
00:09:18.980 --> 00:09:20.880
It was the first Austin retreat we had.

141
00:09:21.540 --> 00:09:24.400
And before I even went on that retreat, it had started happening.

142
00:09:24.500 --> 00:09:25.300
Just random times.

143
00:09:25.320 --> 00:09:27.440
I wouldn't even be thinking about my spirit mate.

144
00:09:27.540 --> 00:09:31.940
And I would start to feel this weight on my, on my ring finger.

145
00:09:32.240 --> 00:09:34.200
And I was like, what is that?

146
00:09:34.660 --> 00:09:38.160
You know, and after talking to the Lord about it and talking in our group,

147
00:09:38.320 --> 00:09:40.620
that's how I came to know like, oh,

148
00:09:40.620 --> 00:09:45.420
it's because I'm feeling it in the spirit. I'm perceiving it.

149
00:09:46.060 --> 00:09:49.000
Do y'all see that? Do you see that connection? Okay.

150
00:09:49.000 --> 00:09:52.020
Then we need the capacity to receive it.

151
00:09:52.480 --> 00:09:57.100
So we need the capacity to perceive it in our minds and then to literally

152
00:09:57.100 --> 00:09:59.980
receive it in our hearts and in the physical realm.

153
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:04.040
Oh, God wants to give us all kinds of blessings,

154
00:10:04.160 --> 00:10:05.340
including our spirit mate.

155
00:10:05.720 --> 00:10:07.300
Obviously, y'all know I'm married already,

156
00:10:07.760 --> 00:10:09.600
but I had to perceive it first.

157
00:10:10.260 --> 00:10:11.640
God also gave me a dream.

158
00:10:12.140 --> 00:10:15.340
Now, I didn't see my spirit mate in the dream, y'all, okay?

159
00:10:15.580 --> 00:10:18.100
But all I knew was in my dream, when I woke up,

160
00:10:18.200 --> 00:10:19.820
I knew that I had met my spirit mate

161
00:10:19.820 --> 00:10:22.560
and I heard the Lord say, he's coming soon.

162
00:10:23.380 --> 00:10:25.860
Now, God's soon isn't always the same as our soon.

163
00:10:25.960 --> 00:10:27.440
Again, it's about what we perceive,

164
00:10:27.440 --> 00:10:30.760
but I knew in my spirit that God was continuing

165
00:10:30.760 --> 00:10:35.520
to encourage me, that my spirit mate was on his way.

166
00:10:36.180 --> 00:10:41.500
And that gave me another level of capacity to receive it.

167
00:10:43.920 --> 00:10:46.640
Unforgiveness creates blocks in our capacity

168
00:10:46.640 --> 00:10:48.860
to both perceive and receive.

169
00:10:49.240 --> 00:10:51.920
So if you're struggling to perceive it

170
00:10:52.500 --> 00:10:55.260
or get prepared to receive it,

171
00:10:55.260 --> 00:10:58.160
most likely somewhere within yourself,

172
00:10:58.780 --> 00:10:59.880
there is unforgiveness.

173
00:11:00.580 --> 00:11:02.180
There might be other blocks as well,

174
00:11:02.360 --> 00:11:05.660
but unforgiveness tends to be one of the biggest things

175
00:11:05.660 --> 00:11:07.320
that blocks people's love stories.

176
00:11:08.260 --> 00:11:10.740
Our family of origin wounds often create

177
00:11:11.080 --> 00:11:13.240
the deepest blocks to love.

178
00:11:15.540 --> 00:11:18.360
Our family of origin wounds often create

179
00:11:18.600 --> 00:11:20.900
the deepest blocks to love.

180
00:11:21.500 --> 00:11:24.700
If you went through a really hard family of origin story,

181
00:11:25.740 --> 00:11:27.480
one of the things I want to say to you

182
00:11:27.700 --> 00:11:29.840
is that I have been too.

183
00:11:31.580 --> 00:11:33.880
And I want you to know it's not impossible

184
00:11:34.240 --> 00:11:36.660
to learn how to love in a healthy way.

185
00:11:36.740 --> 00:11:39.220
It's not impossible to receive the blessings

186
00:11:39.220 --> 00:11:42.420
that God has for you, but it starts first

187
00:11:42.420 --> 00:11:46.220
with the perceiving, letting God change our minds

188
00:11:46.220 --> 00:11:48.500
and healing our hearts so that we can not,

189
00:11:48.500 --> 00:11:51.540
we can understand what he's going to do for us,

190
00:11:51.540 --> 00:11:52.700
then receive it.

191
00:11:52.860 --> 00:11:55.340
And so here's what I want you to put in the chat.

192
00:11:55.860 --> 00:11:57.880
Here's activation number one.

193
00:11:58.180 --> 00:12:00.520
Let me change my screen so I can see the stuff

194
00:12:00.520 --> 00:12:01.980
y'all are putting in there pretty quick.

195
00:12:02.540 --> 00:12:06.340
All right, what's one family pattern or wound

196
00:12:06.380 --> 00:12:09.420
that you think might be blocking your capacity

197
00:12:09.420 --> 00:12:10.680
to receive love?

198
00:12:10.700 --> 00:12:12.480
I don't want you to overthink this.

199
00:12:12.740 --> 00:12:15.060
I want you kind of as quick as it comes to you,

200
00:12:15.220 --> 00:12:15.980
put it in the chat.

201
00:12:15.980 --> 00:12:18.880
What's one family pattern or wound

202
00:12:18.880 --> 00:12:21.720
that you think might be blocking your capacity

203
00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:23.720
to receive love?

204
00:12:24.140 --> 00:12:25.460
All right, I have some coming in here.

205
00:12:25.780 --> 00:12:28.220
Always having to be right, divorce, to be honest.

206
00:12:28.760 --> 00:12:30.740
Let's see, feels very foreign thought.

207
00:12:30.900 --> 00:12:31.620
Okay, that's okay.

208
00:12:32.140 --> 00:12:34.320
Rejection, rejection again, criticism,

209
00:12:34.580 --> 00:12:37.700
being critical, judgmental spirit, lack of communication.

210
00:12:37.740 --> 00:12:38.820
I don't think it's by coincidence.

211
00:12:38.960 --> 00:12:41.100
I was actually thinking about critical things

212
00:12:41.100 --> 00:12:42.400
right before I got on tonight

213
00:12:42.420 --> 00:12:44.200
and there were three right in a row.

214
00:12:44.320 --> 00:12:45.540
So I feel like that's a confirmation.

215
00:12:45.540 --> 00:12:46.700
I might need to touch on that

216
00:12:46.700 --> 00:12:47.840
even though it's not in my notes.

217
00:12:48.480 --> 00:12:52.160
Lack of communication, abusive men, being critical.

218
00:12:52.500 --> 00:12:55.160
There's rejection right in a row again, shame.

219
00:12:56.120 --> 00:12:57.900
All right, you all, fear of being seen,

220
00:13:00.840 --> 00:13:03.200
emotional and verbal abuse, feelings of inadequacy,

221
00:13:03.340 --> 00:13:06.100
showing, excuse me, lack of showing affection.

222
00:13:06.400 --> 00:13:07.580
All right, so I want you guys

223
00:13:07.580 --> 00:13:08.900
to keep putting those in the chat.

224
00:13:08.960 --> 00:13:10.900
Again, this is about you releasing that stuff

225
00:13:10.960 --> 00:13:13.260
and understanding now tonight,

226
00:13:13.260 --> 00:13:14.900
not only are you gonna put that in the chat,

227
00:13:14.900 --> 00:13:18.380
but I hope you remember it because the family pattern,

228
00:13:18.740 --> 00:13:22.940
the family core area is part of what God wants to go after

229
00:13:22.940 --> 00:13:24.840
in you tonight and in the days ahead.

230
00:13:25.200 --> 00:13:28.740
When I was praying, I ended with,

231
00:13:28.900 --> 00:13:31.920
God help us to become more and more rooted

232
00:13:31.920 --> 00:13:32.860
and grounded in your love.

233
00:13:32.880 --> 00:13:34.500
I talk about this all the time.

234
00:13:34.840 --> 00:13:38.100
The more that I perceived God's love for me,

235
00:13:38.720 --> 00:13:41.540
the more I was able to receive his love for me.

236
00:13:42.420 --> 00:13:45.180
The more I was able to perceive myself

237
00:13:45.220 --> 00:13:47.960
as his beloved daughter, not an orphan,

238
00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:50.180
not someone he kept at arm's length

239
00:13:50.280 --> 00:13:53.780
and would maybe trickle a crumb down to me on occasion.

240
00:13:54.960 --> 00:13:57.540
No, God was saying, you're my daughter,

241
00:13:57.600 --> 00:13:59.320
like you get to come close.

242
00:13:59.560 --> 00:14:01.280
Everything that is mine is yours.

243
00:14:01.680 --> 00:14:04.220
And the more that I could perceive that,

244
00:14:04.440 --> 00:14:06.560
the more I was able to receive it.

245
00:14:06.580 --> 00:14:09.020
And it's literally helping me step further

246
00:14:09.020 --> 00:14:11.300
into healthy relationships and dynamics.

247
00:14:11.300 --> 00:14:13.700
Keeping healthier boundaries and all of the things.

248
00:14:13.960 --> 00:14:16.740
It's like an organic ripple effect, if you will.

249
00:14:19.400 --> 00:14:21.640
So I want you to take these things to the Lord this week

250
00:14:21.640 --> 00:14:25.880
and just ask him, is there still a block

251
00:14:25.880 --> 00:14:27.960
connected to my family of origin

252
00:14:28.700 --> 00:14:32.340
that is causing me to not be able to receive your love?

253
00:14:32.460 --> 00:14:35.300
And even sometimes we receive it,

254
00:14:35.520 --> 00:14:38.220
but then something happens and it fleets away.

255
00:14:38.240 --> 00:14:39.560
It's like fleeting, it's gone.

256
00:14:39.560 --> 00:14:43.340
But the reality is, is when we actually

257
00:14:43.340 --> 00:14:45.920
in the core of who we are in our identity,

258
00:14:46.800 --> 00:14:48.920
we know that we are loved.

259
00:14:50.480 --> 00:14:52.320
Nothing, it's literally scripture says

260
00:14:52.320 --> 00:14:54.540
nothing can separate us from his love.

261
00:14:55.500 --> 00:14:58.840
So even the rejection that we experience

262
00:14:59.480 --> 00:14:59.980
does not separate us from his love.

263
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:05.680
not have to separate us from His love. It's whether or not we believe we're still connected

264
00:15:06.340 --> 00:15:13.520
even when we make mistakes. All of those things. It comes into play. Here's a key quote for our

265
00:15:13.520 --> 00:15:18.680
session tonight. This is actually Martin Luther King Jr. I love this. It is so powerful.

266
00:15:19.060 --> 00:15:24.100
This is what it says. We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive.

267
00:15:25.180 --> 00:15:32.200
He who is devoid, devoured, however you say it, of the power to forgive is devoured of the power

268
00:15:32.200 --> 00:15:40.140
to love. Think about that. If we're not willing, if we're not choosing to forgive,

269
00:15:41.640 --> 00:15:48.900
it actually is impacting our ability to love. They go hand in hand.

270
00:15:50.980 --> 00:15:57.960
Jesus literally on the cross is like, forgive them Lord for they don't know what they're doing.

271
00:15:58.520 --> 00:16:05.400
It was literally a continual flow of His love to those people even as they were doing things that

272
00:16:05.480 --> 00:16:13.480
weren't good. So on that note, I want to kind of just say one more thing and we're going to go into

273
00:16:13.480 --> 00:16:20.200
the next part of tonight's forgiveness is a gift that we're going to give to other people.

274
00:16:21.100 --> 00:16:25.000
But forgiveness along with repentance and confession is the only thing that has the

275
00:16:25.000 --> 00:16:32.140
power to put you back in touch with your authentic identity. So just by a raise of hands,

276
00:16:33.400 --> 00:16:41.560
how many of you in the last, let's just say two to three weeks, have had some level of

277
00:16:41.560 --> 00:16:48.380
attack against your identity and who you are? Go ahead and raise your hands.

278
00:16:51.820 --> 00:16:58.180
All right, so I'm bringing that up and I want you to see that I have had it too. Okay, so I'm in

279
00:16:58.180 --> 00:17:05.319
this party with you, but what I want you to understand is that when we feel separated from

280
00:17:05.319 --> 00:17:12.740
our authentic identity, it's not actually true. It's that we perceive that we're disconnected

281
00:17:12.740 --> 00:17:17.680
from our authentic identity. When we walk in forgiveness, when we choose to repent,

282
00:17:17.819 --> 00:17:26.160
when we choose to confess, it literally reconnects us in that broken feeling. Okay, so what I'm

283
00:17:26.160 --> 00:17:32.020
saying to you is if nothing separates us from God's love, nothing really fully in the spirit

284
00:17:32.020 --> 00:17:39.000
separates us from that original identity. But here's what happens inside of our hearts,

285
00:17:39.300 --> 00:17:45.020
inside of our spirits, we believe we are disconnected. Okay, I want you to put your

286
00:17:45.020 --> 00:17:47.400
hands down. I'm going to ask you another question that just came up in my spirit.

287
00:17:48.900 --> 00:17:51.640
Thank you for putting your hands up on the last one.

288
00:17:56.420 --> 00:18:02.000
And I want you all, I just saw someone say, I've been fighting something this week. I want

289
00:18:02.000 --> 00:18:07.560
really busy. He's been really busy attacking the body of Christ in the last few weeks. And so I

290
00:18:07.560 --> 00:18:12.680
just want you to know you're not alone and that God is for you. So who could be against you? So

291
00:18:12.680 --> 00:18:17.260
I'm just putting down these extra hands before I ask this next question. Okay, so we talked about,

292
00:18:17.340 --> 00:18:20.900
I had you raise your hands if you had some kind of level of disconnect regarding your authentic

293
00:18:21.520 --> 00:18:28.160
identity. Now, what I want you to identify is in the attacks that you've been facing or the

294
00:18:28.300 --> 00:18:36.000
struggles that you've been having, did you at some point believe the lie that you are not loved?

295
00:18:37.600 --> 00:18:43.160
Raise your hand if that applies to you. And even if you didn't have the disconnect with your

296
00:18:43.160 --> 00:18:48.380
authentic identity, but if you struggled with something in the last few weeks, I want you to

297
00:18:49.020 --> 00:18:55.700
identify, did I at any moment believe that either A, I wasn't loved by God or B, I wasn't loved by

298
00:18:55.700 --> 00:19:06.880
somebody else. Or thank you, Lord. C, you did not feel loved by yourself. Like you didn't extend love

299
00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:13.660
to yourself. All right. So quite a few of you, and I want you to know that it's okay. I feel like it's

300
00:19:13.660 --> 00:19:19.200
really important for us to extend a lot of grace to ourselves, not only tonight, but every single

301
00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:24.940
day. You know, this is a constant process where we are renewing our minds. We're being transformed

302
00:19:24.940 --> 00:19:31.100
literally day by day by day as we continue to surrender these things to the Lord. Okay. So you

303
00:19:31.100 --> 00:19:34.560
all can put your hands down for as many of you that are able to get on your phone. Normally I

304
00:19:34.560 --> 00:19:38.940
can do that really quick, but Zoom has changed something. And so I don't, I can't see how to do

305
00:19:38.940 --> 00:19:43.840
that for everyone really quickly. So the next thing I want to talk about is forgiveness is a choice.

306
00:19:44.020 --> 00:19:47.980
Just reminding you, I know you guys have heard this before, but I feel led to just kind of hone

307
00:19:47.980 --> 00:19:53.220
in on it again tonight. It's a choice. It's not a feeling. You're not always going to feel like

308
00:19:53.220 --> 00:19:56.420
forgiving people. You're not always going to feel like doing something

309
00:19:56.420 --> 00:19:59.320
kind for someone that's been hurtful towards you.

310
00:20:00.860 --> 00:20:07.000
So I want you to understand it's literally the power that God enables us with. Again, remember

311
00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:13.160
the power of the, excuse me, the same power that rose Jesus from the dead is living in us,

312
00:20:13.160 --> 00:20:21.520
and that's what enables us to forgive even when it's hard. But so often I think we feel like we're

313
00:20:21.520 --> 00:20:26.600
just doing it on our own, like in our own strength. And so if that's been you, if you've been partnering

314
00:20:26.600 --> 00:20:33.220
with just trying to struggle and do this on your own, in your own strength, I want you to just

315
00:20:33.220 --> 00:20:39.120
really take some time even after this session tonight to pray and reconnect with the Holy

316
00:20:39.220 --> 00:20:47.020
Spirit and connect and say, thank you for helping me to forgive even when it's hard. Thank you for

317
00:20:47.020 --> 00:20:51.380
being my comforter. Thank you for being my counselor and my guide. You're my ever-present

318
00:20:51.380 --> 00:21:00.280
help in times of trouble and in times of victory, like he's with us. He's with us in everything.

319
00:21:00.800 --> 00:21:07.600
So there's nothing that we ever are going to have to do ever again without his help.

320
00:21:08.740 --> 00:21:14.300
Forgiveness, again, not a choice. It's a feeling, or excuse me, forgiveness is a choice. I said

321
00:21:14.300 --> 00:21:21.060
that backwards. It's not a feeling. And so we want to choose forgiveness as Ephesians 4.32 says,

322
00:21:21.060 --> 00:21:26.340
forgive one another just as God forgave you because what Christ has done.

323
00:21:28.220 --> 00:21:37.780
Y'all, anytime I ever struggle with forgiveness, if I will pause and just think about Jesus dying for me,

324
00:21:39.220 --> 00:21:43.640
he died for me so that I could be forgiven.

325
00:21:45.980 --> 00:21:52.120
And then I think of, well, gosh, how can I hold that, like withhold that from someone else

326
00:21:52.640 --> 00:21:59.840
because he died for them too. I just want you to kind of just remember to sit with that for a little

327
00:21:59.840 --> 00:22:05.340
bit, you know, and not like to shame yourself, but it is just this kind of, you know, the Bible has

328
00:22:05.400 --> 00:22:11.860
in Psalm that Selah, that pause and reflect. I feel like this is a reminder to pause and reflect

329
00:22:11.860 --> 00:22:18.920
in this season. Colossians 3.13 in the NLT says this, remember the Lord forgave you,

330
00:22:19.700 --> 00:22:27.020
so you must also forgive others. You don't have to reconcile with them in order to forgive them,

331
00:22:27.120 --> 00:22:31.260
you all. If you didn't see Jackie's post on Instagram and social media recently,

332
00:22:31.260 --> 00:22:36.100
I think it was last week sometime, she actually talked about this a little more in detail. I know

333
00:22:36.100 --> 00:22:41.400
this isn't a tricky time of year. You know, some of you have family that you're going around and

334
00:22:41.400 --> 00:22:48.440
it's really, really hard. And for some of you, it's very, very toxic. I want to encourage you

335
00:22:48.440 --> 00:22:57.960
to set really healthy boundaries and only go to the places that the Lord is telling you to go.

336
00:22:59.340 --> 00:23:05.060
Maybe for some of you, the best thing you can do to step into forgiveness is A, forgive them,

337
00:23:05.060 --> 00:23:12.300
but also B, it might be to go spend the holidays with someone else so that you're not in this

338
00:23:12.300 --> 00:23:16.880
place where people are mistreating you. And then you're getting more and more and more wounded,

339
00:23:16.880 --> 00:23:24.700
and it's just adding to the problem. Forgiveness is about your freedom, not their worthiness.

340
00:23:27.180 --> 00:23:31.260
Here's the reality. I'm going to share a little bit of my story with you all. Some of you might

341
00:23:31.260 --> 00:23:36.360
have heard this before, and it's not my in-depth story, but I felt led to share this with you

342
00:23:36.280 --> 00:23:41.440
tonight. For those of you that don't know this, my mom and I did not have a good relationship.

343
00:23:41.840 --> 00:23:47.100
When I was younger, I thought we did, but the older I got and the more I stood up for myself,

344
00:23:47.880 --> 00:23:54.480
the less we had a good relationship. She really walked in a lot of manipulation and control.

345
00:23:54.800 --> 00:24:00.100
There was a lot of narcissistic tendencies, and she was very depressed when I was younger. I spent

346
00:24:00.100 --> 00:24:04.000
a lot of my childhood trying to make my mom happy, trying to help her get out of bed.

347
00:24:04.540 --> 00:24:09.680
She did work. She had a full-time job. She worked part-time too. And so there were a lot of things

348
00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:14.260
she did really well, you all. So it's important for me to say that to you as well. But she was

349
00:24:14.260 --> 00:24:18.480
a single mom, four kids. I was the youngest of four. There were a lot of things that happened

350
00:24:18.480 --> 00:24:25.360
in my home that as a mom myself, I can't tell you how many times I thought to myself, how did my mom

351
00:24:25.360 --> 00:24:32.280
not notice this stuff was going on? Why were we allowed to go into bedrooms and have the door

352
00:24:32.280 --> 00:24:38.260
shut with both genders in the room? There were just things that I'm just like, how could this

353
00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:45.440
happen? And so there was a season of my life where I really judged her, and I had to learn how to

354
00:24:45.440 --> 00:24:51.680
come out of that and forgive her for that. But the story aspect that I want to share with you tonight

355
00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:59.980
is my mom also was very verbally abusive towards me. And then she would also go on social media and

356
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.380
do these posts about her favorite child.

357
00:25:03.360 --> 00:25:04.840
And you all, it wasn't me.

358
00:25:05.100 --> 00:25:05.980
And that's, you know,

359
00:25:05.980 --> 00:25:09.140
A, I don't think parents should do that at all,

360
00:25:09.700 --> 00:25:12.180
but it was very, very difficult.

361
00:25:12.300 --> 00:25:14.580
And so when I would message her like,

362
00:25:14.780 --> 00:25:16.400
hey, why are you doing that?

363
00:25:16.900 --> 00:25:18.280
Like, that's just not healthy.

364
00:25:19.300 --> 00:25:21.020
Literally, it would never go well.

365
00:25:21.600 --> 00:25:23.800
Lots of retaliation, lots of reaction,

366
00:25:24.340 --> 00:25:27.800
a lot of continual verbal assaults and all the things.

367
00:25:28.560 --> 00:25:31.080
And I'm saying that to kind of set the stage

368
00:25:31.080 --> 00:25:32.420
for what I'm gonna say next.

369
00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:36.440
In, let's see, I would probably say

370
00:25:38.220 --> 00:25:43.180
maybe January of 2022, maybe a little later than that,

371
00:25:43.940 --> 00:25:46.760
my mom found out that I moved to Indiana

372
00:25:46.880 --> 00:25:48.660
because I didn't tell her in advance

373
00:25:48.700 --> 00:25:50.740
because she was getting very jealous.

374
00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:53.480
And I knew that's what was happening.

375
00:25:53.960 --> 00:25:56.220
She was jealous of what God was doing

376
00:25:56.220 --> 00:25:57.460
in my relationship with Brian.

377
00:25:57.460 --> 00:25:59.400
My mom was single for a really long time

378
00:26:00.380 --> 00:26:03.340
and she wanted to be married again.

379
00:26:05.560 --> 00:26:07.140
That didn't happen for her.

380
00:26:07.380 --> 00:26:09.620
And I'm really sad for her that it didn't.

381
00:26:10.740 --> 00:26:12.500
There were a lot of things that she went through.

382
00:26:12.620 --> 00:26:15.920
My mom had an aneurysm in 1998 when I was in college.

383
00:26:16.020 --> 00:26:17.940
Like there was just a lot that happened

384
00:26:18.980 --> 00:26:21.080
that held that back for her,

385
00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:23.100
including her own unwillingness

386
00:26:23.100 --> 00:26:24.300
to get the help that she needed.

387
00:26:25.940 --> 00:26:27.800
But leading up to that,

388
00:26:28.640 --> 00:26:30.600
I just felt like I couldn't trust her.

389
00:26:31.080 --> 00:26:33.820
And so I was in this community.

390
00:26:33.960 --> 00:26:35.140
I was getting wise counsel.

391
00:26:35.400 --> 00:26:37.820
I knew I was making really healthy choices for myself.

392
00:26:38.020 --> 00:26:39.700
I decided to move to Indiana.

393
00:26:39.880 --> 00:26:40.480
I'm an adult.

394
00:26:40.580 --> 00:26:42.200
I can make that choice for myself

395
00:26:42.200 --> 00:26:44.060
without asking my mom's permission.

396
00:26:44.680 --> 00:26:46.180
And so I moved to Indiana

397
00:26:46.180 --> 00:26:48.320
because Brian and I wanted to date more locally

398
00:26:48.500 --> 00:26:50.600
and all the things, it was very, very good.

399
00:26:50.660 --> 00:26:54.060
But when my mom found out that I moved

400
00:26:54.060 --> 00:26:56.640
and didn't ask her if it was okay,

401
00:26:57.340 --> 00:26:59.140
she sent me all these messages.

402
00:26:59.900 --> 00:27:01.180
Like, I mean, you all so much.

403
00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:03.740
And so we had words about that.

404
00:27:03.780 --> 00:27:06.200
So this was about January of 2022.

405
00:27:07.780 --> 00:27:09.480
It was very, very difficult.

406
00:27:09.700 --> 00:27:11.600
I can't tell you how many conversations

407
00:27:11.600 --> 00:27:14.100
Jackie Dorman and I had about my mom

408
00:27:14.540 --> 00:27:16.280
and how to process this.

409
00:27:16.360 --> 00:27:18.440
Because in a season that I should have

410
00:27:18.500 --> 00:27:21.960
like been able to invite her into all this happiness,

411
00:27:22.760 --> 00:27:25.900
I felt like I had to put up a lot more boundaries

412
00:27:26.200 --> 00:27:29.920
and hold her at a distance because if I didn't,

413
00:27:30.740 --> 00:27:32.780
it was very painful and harmful.

414
00:27:33.500 --> 00:27:35.640
And so all that to say,

415
00:27:36.720 --> 00:27:38.980
one of the things Jackie asked me to do,

416
00:27:39.200 --> 00:27:41.320
and she probably asked me if I'm being honest

417
00:27:41.540 --> 00:27:44.820
in like February of 2022, the first time,

418
00:27:45.320 --> 00:27:48.660
where she said to me a lot of what she said to you all

419
00:27:48.660 --> 00:27:50.760
that were on the Sunday night activation

420
00:27:50.760 --> 00:27:54.000
about praying to send a card to someone

421
00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:56.580
or a gift to someone that you need to forgive

422
00:27:56.580 --> 00:27:58.020
or that they've done something wrong

423
00:27:58.020 --> 00:27:59.960
and that you're still gonna bless them,

424
00:28:00.560 --> 00:28:01.960
through the Lord's leading.

425
00:28:02.680 --> 00:28:04.740
And I remember hearing her say it

426
00:28:04.740 --> 00:28:07.080
and I'm like, I'm not doing that.

427
00:28:08.500 --> 00:28:09.720
I don't wanna send it.

428
00:28:10.060 --> 00:28:11.240
You wanna know what I thought?

429
00:28:11.740 --> 00:28:14.200
I thought she doesn't deserve it.

430
00:28:14.820 --> 00:28:15.860
I really did.

431
00:28:16.220 --> 00:28:17.980
And I felt bad that I felt that way,

432
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:19.420
but that is genuinely how I felt.

433
00:28:20.100 --> 00:28:22.300
I'm like, she keeps doing this to me, Lord.

434
00:28:22.500 --> 00:28:25.420
Like, you know, I know, forgive 70 times seven.

435
00:28:25.480 --> 00:28:27.160
I know that and I forgive her,

436
00:28:27.860 --> 00:28:31.540
but like, I don't think I should do something nice

437
00:28:31.540 --> 00:28:33.060
for this really bad behavior.

438
00:28:33.340 --> 00:28:34.560
That's what I was thinking.

439
00:28:36.500 --> 00:28:39.280
So that was around February of 2022.

440
00:28:40.580 --> 00:28:43.300
The Lord continued to work in my heart about this.

441
00:28:44.260 --> 00:28:45.960
And then I believe we had,

442
00:28:45.960 --> 00:28:49.200
I had another conversation with Jackie Dorman around April

443
00:28:50.440 --> 00:28:53.040
and she approached me about the same topic again.

444
00:28:53.200 --> 00:28:55.300
She's like, Bethany, I really feel like

445
00:28:55.300 --> 00:28:56.540
you need to forgive your mom.

446
00:28:56.920 --> 00:28:58.340
I'm like, I have forgiven her.

447
00:28:58.380 --> 00:29:01.020
She's like, yeah, but I feel like you need to send her

448
00:29:01.020 --> 00:29:02.880
a gift and tell her you love her.

449
00:29:04.000 --> 00:29:07.000
Well, Mother's Day was right around the corner, you all.

450
00:29:09.020 --> 00:29:10.860
And I really did pray into it.

451
00:29:10.860 --> 00:29:12.980
And I felt like God told me I needed to do it.

452
00:29:14.320 --> 00:29:17.560
And so even though I didn't feel like it, you all,

453
00:29:18.420 --> 00:29:19.600
I chose to do it.

454
00:29:20.820 --> 00:29:22.180
And when I got her a gift,

455
00:29:22.260 --> 00:29:25.320
I didn't get her this little, very teeny tiny gift.

456
00:29:25.380 --> 00:29:27.720
I got her this really, my mom loved chocolate

457
00:29:27.720 --> 00:29:28.540
and she loved fruit.

458
00:29:29.160 --> 00:29:31.140
And there was some other things that I got her too,

459
00:29:31.160 --> 00:29:32.440
but I got her this really big,

460
00:29:32.520 --> 00:29:34.080
she was in a nursing home at the time.

461
00:29:34.400 --> 00:29:37.860
I got her this really big edible arrangement

462
00:29:37.860 --> 00:29:39.800
and it got delivered and had a balloon

463
00:29:39.800 --> 00:29:41.400
and it said, happy Mother's Day.

464
00:29:41.400 --> 00:29:44.660
And I did include a card and I thanked her

465
00:29:44.660 --> 00:29:46.120
for being my mother.

466
00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:49.780
And I thanked her for the times that she chose

467
00:29:49.780 --> 00:29:51.840
to stick around because you know what?

468
00:29:52.520 --> 00:29:53.800
As a single mom,

469
00:29:55.380 --> 00:29:57.880
she could have chosen to give me away to someone.

470
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.880
But she didn't. She chose to keep me.

471
00:30:02.560 --> 00:30:05.280
Even though she did not want me and did not plan for me,

472
00:30:05.340 --> 00:30:06.960
my mom did choose to keep me.

473
00:30:07.540 --> 00:30:09.960
And while my life was really, really hard,

474
00:30:12.380 --> 00:30:14.380
even more so since she's passed,

475
00:30:14.620 --> 00:30:16.460
so many times I've thanked God

476
00:30:16.560 --> 00:30:18.660
for helping my mom not give me away.

477
00:30:20.840 --> 00:30:23.940
And you know, the reason that I'm telling this story tonight

478
00:30:23.940 --> 00:30:26.320
is that was early May of 2022.

479
00:30:26.440 --> 00:30:29.020
It was Mother's Day, it was May 8th in 2022.

480
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:32.080
My mom was thrilled.

481
00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:34.480
She posted about it on social media.

482
00:30:34.680 --> 00:30:35.700
She was so excited.

483
00:30:35.920 --> 00:30:38.240
You know, she sent stuff to her sister about it,

484
00:30:38.240 --> 00:30:40.120
sent stuff to me thanking me

485
00:30:40.120 --> 00:30:43.560
and all the kindness stuff started coming back out in her.

486
00:30:45.520 --> 00:30:48.880
And then she got sick again,

487
00:30:50.060 --> 00:30:51.420
really, really sick again.

488
00:30:51.420 --> 00:30:53.220
And she went back into the hospital

489
00:30:53.300 --> 00:30:57.280
and my mom died on May 29th of that year.

490
00:30:58.260 --> 00:31:01.620
21 days later, after I sent her that gift,

491
00:31:01.860 --> 00:31:03.200
my mom passed away.

492
00:31:04.480 --> 00:31:06.720
I had no clue that that was gonna happen.

493
00:31:07.460 --> 00:31:09.960
My mom had had a lot of health issues over the years,

494
00:31:10.080 --> 00:31:13.180
but I still had no clue that that was coming.

495
00:31:14.100 --> 00:31:15.040
But God did.

496
00:31:16.080 --> 00:31:17.440
Y'all, I have no regrets.

497
00:31:18.440 --> 00:31:19.440
I have no regrets.

498
00:31:20.960 --> 00:31:25.260
Giving her that gift was me ushering in a conversation

499
00:31:25.260 --> 00:31:27.620
that her and I had before she died.

500
00:31:28.760 --> 00:31:30.820
And if you have been in that situation

501
00:31:30.820 --> 00:31:32.720
and you didn't get that kind of conversation,

502
00:31:32.740 --> 00:31:33.480
I'm really sorry.

503
00:31:33.500 --> 00:31:35.420
And I know that broke God's heart for you too.

504
00:31:35.900 --> 00:31:38.940
But I really want you to release that expectation

505
00:31:38.940 --> 00:31:43.140
to the Lord and really fully release that person.

506
00:31:44.640 --> 00:31:46.120
Release them for what they didn't do.

507
00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:49.440
Like I said, my mom was a single mom.

508
00:31:49.440 --> 00:31:51.960
I'm not excusing the unhealthy things,

509
00:31:51.960 --> 00:31:56.320
but I absolutely have been able to see the gold

510
00:31:56.320 --> 00:31:58.100
in the things that she did do.

511
00:31:58.860 --> 00:32:01.740
But I have to ask God to show it to me sometimes.

512
00:32:02.580 --> 00:32:05.340
There are moments where it's still hard for me

513
00:32:05.880 --> 00:32:09.220
to understand having a mother's heart,

514
00:32:09.620 --> 00:32:11.760
how my mom was towards me.

515
00:32:13.360 --> 00:32:17.340
But when I choose to step out of judgment and criticism

516
00:32:17.560 --> 00:32:21.140
and harshness towards her, I choose to forgive her

517
00:32:21.140 --> 00:32:22.940
and allow God to show me things.

518
00:32:23.080 --> 00:32:27.760
He continues to open my heart to understand more.

519
00:32:28.460 --> 00:32:31.160
And so here's my question for you.

520
00:32:32.200 --> 00:32:33.760
This is what I want you to put in the chat.

521
00:32:38.080 --> 00:32:39.820
Yes, Melissa, I see what you said.

522
00:32:39.880 --> 00:32:40.320
Thank you.

523
00:32:40.340 --> 00:32:41.160
That is so true.

524
00:32:41.460 --> 00:32:42.500
This is the question.

525
00:32:42.700 --> 00:32:45.840
Who in your life needs the gift of forgiveness tonight?

526
00:32:49.260 --> 00:32:53.080
Who in your life needs the gift of forgiveness tonight?

527
00:32:53.280 --> 00:32:55.080
You don't think they're worthy of it,

528
00:32:55.080 --> 00:32:57.620
but God is saying to you tonight,

529
00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:00.280
hey, I want you to forgive this person.

530
00:33:00.420 --> 00:33:01.640
For some of you, it is you.

531
00:33:01.740 --> 00:33:03.080
I love that you're putting that in there.

532
00:33:03.200 --> 00:33:04.420
I love that you're seeing that.

533
00:33:04.960 --> 00:33:08.780
And hopefully you're feeling that in a lot of ways

534
00:33:08.780 --> 00:33:11.400
so that you can step into that more and more.

535
00:33:12.340 --> 00:33:13.960
Okay, keep putting those up for me.

536
00:33:15.340 --> 00:33:15.820
Get in there.

537
00:33:15.820 --> 00:33:17.200
Again, I'm not gonna go ahead and read all these.

538
00:33:17.320 --> 00:33:19.220
I'm gonna just let you put those up in the chat.

539
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:24.320
And here's the next part of this application

540
00:33:24.700 --> 00:33:29.040
is what would choosing forgiveness look like practically?

541
00:33:29.900 --> 00:33:35.060
So in my example, I felt led to send her a Mother's Day gift

542
00:33:36.260 --> 00:33:40.620
and not just a small gift, but I kind of splurged on her.

543
00:33:42.700 --> 00:33:44.140
So what would it look like

544
00:33:44.140 --> 00:33:46.580
for you to choose forgiveness practically

545
00:33:46.600 --> 00:33:47.740
towards this person?

546
00:33:47.800 --> 00:33:49.580
And if you're not sure yet, that's totally fine,

547
00:33:49.620 --> 00:33:52.080
but just where you start to open your heart and your mind

548
00:33:52.080 --> 00:33:54.260
to what that might look like for you.

549
00:33:55.760 --> 00:33:58.200
And remember in this, I heard the Lord just say,

550
00:33:58.720 --> 00:34:02.740
this isn't about us begging, okay?

551
00:34:02.860 --> 00:34:04.840
When I sent my mom that gift,

552
00:34:04.940 --> 00:34:06.860
I never mentioned what she did.

553
00:34:08.179 --> 00:34:11.380
I just sent the gift and I blessed her in the card

554
00:34:11.380 --> 00:34:13.219
and said, thank you for being my mother.

555
00:34:14.159 --> 00:34:15.360
Thank you for encouraging.

556
00:34:15.600 --> 00:34:17.060
She used to send me these cards that,

557
00:34:17.400 --> 00:34:19.080
like when I was in college the first couple of years

558
00:34:19.080 --> 00:34:22.179
to encourage me, I got really homesick a lot,

559
00:34:22.800 --> 00:34:25.580
surprisingly, because I had a really tough home life,

560
00:34:25.639 --> 00:34:26.580
but I got homesick.

561
00:34:26.880 --> 00:34:29.340
I think that was some of the codependency kicking in,

562
00:34:29.360 --> 00:34:32.820
honestly, but my mom used to send me these really nice cards

563
00:34:32.820 --> 00:34:34.520
and I appreciated that.

564
00:34:37.719 --> 00:34:39.880
So living that out, walking it out,

565
00:34:39.880 --> 00:34:41.820
what is God saying to you tonight about it?

566
00:34:42.460 --> 00:34:43.980
The next part we're gonna talk about

567
00:34:43.980 --> 00:34:46.340
is forgiveness preparing us for love.

568
00:34:47.460 --> 00:34:52.520
I had already met Brian, but I definitely had not,

569
00:34:53.040 --> 00:34:54.420
well, you all would know this,

570
00:34:54.739 --> 00:34:56.739
but I had not introduced him to my family yet.

571
00:34:58.100 --> 00:34:59.140
When my mom got sick,

572
00:34:59.420 --> 00:34:59.980
Brian and I were in the hospital for a couple of days.

573
00:34:59.980 --> 00:34:59.980


574
00:34:59.980 --> 00:34:59.980


575
00:34:59.980 --> 00:34:59.980


576
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.480
I had just gotten engaged on May 19. So I sent my mom the gift on May 8, May 19. Brian

577
00:35:05.480 --> 00:35:10.100
and I got engaged in California. When I was in California is when I found out my mom got

578
00:35:10.100 --> 00:35:14.620
sick again and had to be like put back in the hospital. And then like I said, she passed

579
00:35:14.620 --> 00:35:23.360
away on May 29. My Brian met my mom and my brothers and sisters. Probably I guess I went

580
00:35:23.360 --> 00:35:27.660
we went to the hospital on May 28 because we got there literally the day before she

581
00:35:27.780 --> 00:35:35.980
passed away. So Brian met my family the day before my mom passed away. And that was because

582
00:35:35.980 --> 00:35:39.140
I just wasn't comfortable introducing him to my family. It had nothing to do with him.

583
00:35:39.200 --> 00:35:44.440
It had to do with my family. And everybody's different, y'all. That's something I talked

584
00:35:44.440 --> 00:35:49.220
to him at length about. I wanted him to know that it had nothing to do with him. So y'all

585
00:35:49.220 --> 00:35:55.400
will have to navigate your own stories. But I absolutely believe forgiving my mom was was

586
00:35:55.400 --> 00:36:00.960
very important in my love story. Forgiving my dad was really important in my love story.

587
00:36:01.660 --> 00:36:05.680
But I also want to share another story with you a little bit tonight. I don't know as

588
00:36:05.680 --> 00:36:10.780
many details and I have permission to share this with you. But Renee and Brian DeVorey,

589
00:36:10.880 --> 00:36:15.800
as you guys know, Renee Rizzo, Rizzo, that's who she used to be. I actually sometimes I've

590
00:36:15.800 --> 00:36:19.560
typed Renee Rizzo and then been like, oh, wait, she's not Rizzo anymore. She's DeVorey

591
00:36:19.560 --> 00:36:26.480
now. But anyways, newly married success story from our community. One of the things that

592
00:36:26.480 --> 00:36:32.780
as we were talking about tonight as a team that came up was Renee, for those of you that

593
00:36:32.780 --> 00:36:38.100
know or don't know. Gosh, I don't know how long ago it's been now, but her dad passed

594
00:36:38.100 --> 00:36:45.500
away within the last couple of years. And after he passed away, there was a lot of things

595
00:36:45.500 --> 00:36:52.480
that came up out of Renee that she had to process that did not come up before he passed

596
00:36:52.340 --> 00:36:57.840
away. And she had to work extensively through that stuff. Lots of conversations with Jackie

597
00:36:57.840 --> 00:37:03.120
and myself and, you know, outside sources. And I think people that she was working with

598
00:37:03.120 --> 00:37:11.720
on that as well. But here's the other interesting factor. Her now husband, around the same time

599
00:37:11.720 --> 00:37:19.340
that God was leading her to forgive her dad. Or excuse me, that her dad passed away, his

600
00:37:19.340 --> 00:37:25.460
mom passed away. And so while Renee was processing forgiving her dad, Brian DeVorey was

601
00:37:25.460 --> 00:37:33.280
processing forgiving his mother of some massive things, you all. Massive things. One hundred

602
00:37:33.840 --> 00:37:41.080
percent believe that their processing of those wounds, of those situations prepared them to be

603
00:37:41.320 --> 00:37:49.120
able to receive each other. They both had to work with through that deep forgiveness so that they

604
00:37:49.120 --> 00:37:54.600
could, again, remember, not only perceive it, but be able to have the capacity to receive it.

605
00:37:57.200 --> 00:38:03.140
So here's the other beautiful thing. God used their individual forgiveness journeys to prepare

606
00:38:03.140 --> 00:38:10.660
them for each other. They did not meet until they had both done the heartwork to clear the

607
00:38:10.660 --> 00:38:15.480
blocks that would have prevented them from recognizing and receiving their spirit mate.

608
00:38:16.720 --> 00:38:22.700
Forgiveness often breaks generational patterns off of us. Healing in one area often ushers in

609
00:38:22.700 --> 00:38:28.000
blessings in other areas. So maybe for you, maybe it's not just your spirit mate. Maybe it's that

610
00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:36.500
promotion you've been seeking. Forgiveness ushers in blessings. It ushers in the ability to

611
00:38:36.600 --> 00:38:43.860
insight from heaven about a thing. Do you know that bitter roots actually quench the flow of

612
00:38:43.860 --> 00:38:51.140
the Holy Spirit? Resentment and bitterness and unforgiveness all hang out together.

613
00:38:51.780 --> 00:38:57.600
So if you're not forgiving someone, you most likely have bitterness and resentment hanging

614
00:38:57.600 --> 00:39:04.600
out on the inside of you. And you all, we're not, this isn't about perfection. I think that

615
00:39:04.600 --> 00:39:10.800
every single day we have opportunities that are presented to us and things that people say or

616
00:39:10.800 --> 00:39:16.020
things that people do that hurt us in some way, shape or form. Sometimes we have great days and

617
00:39:16.020 --> 00:39:21.800
that stuff doesn't happen and that's amazing. But this is where again, keeping short accounts

618
00:39:21.800 --> 00:39:27.840
and forgiving people. God often uses our forgiveness journey to prepare us for what

619
00:39:27.840 --> 00:39:35.000
wants to give us. Your spirit mate right now might be waiting for you to clear the blocks

620
00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:44.700
that would prevent you from recognizing them. I absolutely believe without a doubt in my mind

621
00:39:44.700 --> 00:39:52.180
that the healing work that my Brian did and the healing work that I did, that is what enabled us

622
00:39:52.180 --> 00:39:59.980
to actually see each other. Brian has even testified of this from the pulpit that he truly doesn't...

623
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.800
He's like, I don't think my wife would have picked me

624
00:40:02.800 --> 00:40:05.760
if I had not done the healing work.

625
00:40:05.880 --> 00:40:06.920
Y'all, he's right.

626
00:40:08.260 --> 00:40:10.660
And I don't know if I would have seen him

627
00:40:11.120 --> 00:40:16.040
because I got to the point where I was over attracting

628
00:40:16.220 --> 00:40:17.560
unhealthy, abusive men.

629
00:40:17.560 --> 00:40:19.400
I'm like, I'm not doing that anymore.

630
00:40:20.160 --> 00:40:22.280
That's why I had, you know, I tell you guys

631
00:40:22.280 --> 00:40:26.060
and joke about my list and the way I was kind of like

632
00:40:26.060 --> 00:40:27.420
tracking who I was going on dates with

633
00:40:27.420 --> 00:40:29.400
and how did this date make me feel?

634
00:40:29.400 --> 00:40:31.340
Did I see any flags here?

635
00:40:31.720 --> 00:40:34.360
Giving them nicknames and just kind of really being fun

636
00:40:34.360 --> 00:40:37.700
with the process and allowing myself to like,

637
00:40:38.740 --> 00:40:40.580
I don't know, how did that date go?

638
00:40:40.960 --> 00:40:44.200
You know, we had good conversation or it was super awkward.

639
00:40:45.060 --> 00:40:47.320
Or this guy, he just kept trying to push,

640
00:40:47.800 --> 00:40:49.480
you know, talking about sex constantly.

641
00:40:49.620 --> 00:40:51.760
But here's the thing, the reason I'm bringing that up

642
00:40:51.760 --> 00:40:55.220
is all of those things, me choosing to give myself

643
00:40:55.260 --> 00:40:57.600
permission to heal and really figure out

644
00:40:57.600 --> 00:40:59.020
what was healthy for me

645
00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:03.320
is what also prepared me to receive Brian.

646
00:41:04.780 --> 00:41:08.300
It gave me the ability to see him more clearly as well.

647
00:41:09.480 --> 00:41:12.440
To identify the green flags in him.

648
00:41:13.400 --> 00:41:16.380
If I was walking around in a lot of brokenness, you all,

649
00:41:17.280 --> 00:41:18.840
back in the day, I saw red flags

650
00:41:18.840 --> 00:41:20.360
and then I would just blow right through them.

651
00:41:20.620 --> 00:41:22.840
Not even on purpose, just subconsciously,

652
00:41:22.840 --> 00:41:24.300
I would just keep going.

653
00:41:25.180 --> 00:41:27.760
But then in a healed state, I'm like,

654
00:41:27.820 --> 00:41:29.220
oh yeah, that's not healthy.

655
00:41:30.140 --> 00:41:34.200
Oh, wow, that is really awesome about that person.

656
00:41:34.300 --> 00:41:37.220
But the healing is what enabled me to get there.

657
00:41:37.420 --> 00:41:40.940
Forgiving myself for the six years

658
00:41:40.940 --> 00:41:42.680
that I gave to that person that,

659
00:41:43.120 --> 00:41:45.000
like my spiritual daughter's dad,

660
00:41:45.380 --> 00:41:48.700
who literally betrayed me over and over and over again.

661
00:41:50.480 --> 00:41:55.160
Forgiving him, forgiving myself was also vital to me

662
00:41:55.160 --> 00:41:57.020
being ready to receive my spirit mate.

663
00:41:57.840 --> 00:41:59.680
So here's your next activation.

664
00:42:01.200 --> 00:42:03.700
In the chat, share one thing you're ready to forgive

665
00:42:03.700 --> 00:42:05.040
and release tonight.

666
00:42:05.740 --> 00:42:08.560
It can be a person, it can be a situation.

667
00:42:09.000 --> 00:42:10.240
Again, it can be yourself.

668
00:42:10.320 --> 00:42:11.980
If you already put yourself, that's okay.

669
00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:12.900
You can say it again.

670
00:42:13.320 --> 00:42:16.020
Let's create an atmosphere of breakthrough together.

671
00:42:16.700 --> 00:42:19.480
In the chat, one thing you're ready to forgive

672
00:42:19.480 --> 00:42:20.920
and release tonight.

673
00:42:22.280 --> 00:42:24.960
You're saying, here we are, we're upon,

674
00:42:25.400 --> 00:42:27.420
we're closing in on the end of 2025.

675
00:42:27.900 --> 00:42:30.280
What do we not wanna take into the next year with us?

676
00:42:31.460 --> 00:42:33.560
And for some of you, you might feel like,

677
00:42:33.740 --> 00:42:35.300
well, I was here in this place last year.

678
00:42:35.380 --> 00:42:36.060
No, you weren't.

679
00:42:36.860 --> 00:42:37.780
Don't receive that lie.

680
00:42:38.060 --> 00:42:40.080
You might still be processing forgiveness

681
00:42:40.080 --> 00:42:42.720
or you might be still processing certain situations,

682
00:42:43.240 --> 00:42:46.720
but probably the reason that you're still struggling with it

683
00:42:46.720 --> 00:42:49.060
is that it was a really hard situation.

684
00:42:51.200 --> 00:42:52.440
But the enemy is trying to get you

685
00:42:52.440 --> 00:42:55.800
to not be grace-filled towards yourself.

686
00:42:56.160 --> 00:42:57.600
He just wants you to condemn yourself

687
00:42:57.600 --> 00:43:00.920
over and over and over again when other people are not

688
00:43:00.920 --> 00:43:02.620
and God definitely is not.

689
00:43:05.280 --> 00:43:07.620
You are your best investment.

690
00:43:09.500 --> 00:43:10.460
You are valuable.

691
00:43:11.980 --> 00:43:14.260
You're gonna have a time and a day

692
00:43:14.260 --> 00:43:15.440
when you're gonna meet your spirit mate

693
00:43:15.440 --> 00:43:18.000
and you're gonna recognize how amazing it is

694
00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:20.940
to be in a couple, but every single one of us,

695
00:43:21.040 --> 00:43:22.580
myself included, before I met Brian,

696
00:43:22.680 --> 00:43:25.080
we have to understand our value and our worth

697
00:43:25.460 --> 00:43:27.120
apart from someone else.

698
00:43:29.080 --> 00:43:33.040
Do you believe that you actually are valuable?

699
00:43:34.980 --> 00:43:37.360
And if you don't, I'm gonna say it goes back

700
00:43:37.360 --> 00:43:40.440
to that authentic identity and struggling with that.

701
00:43:41.180 --> 00:43:42.980
Struggling with forgiving yourself,

702
00:43:43.180 --> 00:43:45.700
that when you make a mistake, you don't have to,

703
00:43:46.160 --> 00:43:47.020
thank you, Lord.

704
00:43:47.380 --> 00:43:49.980
You don't have to like, back in the day,

705
00:43:51.640 --> 00:43:52.700
what was it called?

706
00:43:52.760 --> 00:43:56.720
They would take people out on the gallows to hang them.

707
00:43:57.320 --> 00:43:59.500
Some of you all, that's how you're treating yourself.

708
00:44:00.360 --> 00:44:02.640
When you make a mistake, you're like,

709
00:44:03.260 --> 00:44:05.640
like it just feels like you just made

710
00:44:05.680 --> 00:44:06.740
the biggest mistake ever

711
00:44:06.740 --> 00:44:08.900
and sometimes they're little, little mistakes.

712
00:44:09.860 --> 00:44:13.660
But because you're not forgiving yourself for the mistakes,

713
00:44:14.300 --> 00:44:15.620
then it creates a stronghold

714
00:44:15.620 --> 00:44:18.300
because every time you make a mistake from there on out,

715
00:44:18.600 --> 00:44:19.780
you're not forgiving yourself.

716
00:44:20.180 --> 00:44:22.620
And then every time it gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

717
00:44:22.900 --> 00:44:24.620
And so you're taking yourself to the gallows,

718
00:44:24.820 --> 00:44:25.180
so to speak.

719
00:44:25.240 --> 00:44:26.840
And God is saying in the spirit tonight

720
00:44:27.440 --> 00:44:30.020
that the gallows are not meant for you.

721
00:44:30.740 --> 00:44:32.360
Do you understand what I'm saying?

722
00:44:33.760 --> 00:44:35.700
Jesus died on the cross

723
00:44:35.800 --> 00:44:37.900
and shed his blood for your forgiveness.

724
00:44:39.820 --> 00:44:41.860
He wants you to receive it tonight.

725
00:44:44.740 --> 00:44:49.180
And not just for a moment, for eternity, forever.

726
00:44:50.760 --> 00:44:52.280
And I know, it can get hard.

727
00:44:52.380 --> 00:44:53.900
I don't like to make mistakes either.

728
00:44:54.360 --> 00:44:57.180
I don't like when I react about something

729
00:44:57.180 --> 00:44:59.460
or I'm like, oh, who was that in that moment?

730
00:44:59.460 --> 00:44:59.980
I don't know who she is.

731
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.260
She was, that was kind of scary.

732
00:45:02.480 --> 00:45:03.960
Okay, am I the only person in the room

733
00:45:03.960 --> 00:45:06.780
that ever says or does anything that I'm just like,

734
00:45:06.640 --> 00:45:09.460
well, where did that come from?

735
00:45:10.680 --> 00:45:14.300
When pressure is applied, all kinds of stuff can come out.

736
00:45:14.740 --> 00:45:16.040
Hopefully, the more we heal,

737
00:45:16.220 --> 00:45:18.120
more and more good stuff is gonna come out, right?

738
00:45:19.460 --> 00:45:22.960
But even thinking and talking about like the olive press,

739
00:45:23.180 --> 00:45:26.920
you know, the olive press was really important

740
00:45:26.920 --> 00:45:29.060
because it brought out the best juice.

741
00:45:29.620 --> 00:45:31.480
So some of you are feeling pressed,

742
00:45:32.160 --> 00:45:34.820
you're feeling squeezed even by this conversation

743
00:45:34.820 --> 00:45:36.060
in this session tonight.

744
00:45:36.400 --> 00:45:40.200
But the Lord is saying, if you will surrender this person,

745
00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:43.120
these situations to me, if you allow me,

746
00:45:43.320 --> 00:45:45.820
God's not harming you, God's not putting pressure

747
00:45:45.820 --> 00:45:47.500
and squeezing you to harm you.

748
00:45:48.400 --> 00:45:52.940
The pressure is being applied to lead you into breakthrough,

749
00:45:53.800 --> 00:45:57.480
to lead you into greater freedom and revelation.

750
00:45:59.100 --> 00:46:01.460
So, okay, I'm gonna have you do something.

751
00:46:01.940 --> 00:46:02.760
I'm not gonna stand up

752
00:46:02.760 --> 00:46:04.740
just because you all won't be able to see me, okay?

753
00:46:04.860 --> 00:46:06.480
But if you're willing,

754
00:46:06.860 --> 00:46:09.240
I would love for you to stand right where you're at.

755
00:46:09.300 --> 00:46:11.060
And we're gonna walk through some declarations

756
00:46:11.100 --> 00:46:12.960
before we go into the open coaching.

757
00:46:13.920 --> 00:46:18.940
So as I say the declaration, you're gonna repeat after me.

758
00:46:20.880 --> 00:46:24.700
I choose forgiveness over my feelings.

759
00:46:27.760 --> 00:46:29.200
And here's why we're standing up,

760
00:46:29.300 --> 00:46:30.180
if you guys don't know this,

761
00:46:30.500 --> 00:46:32.880
you're standing up to stand in your authority

762
00:46:32.880 --> 00:46:34.400
given to you in Jesus Christ.

763
00:46:34.800 --> 00:46:37.280
Jesus Christ died to give you authority.

764
00:46:37.740 --> 00:46:40.080
So we're standing up in our authority tonight

765
00:46:40.080 --> 00:46:41.540
as we declare these things, okay?

766
00:46:41.540 --> 00:46:42.440
So we're gonna start over.

767
00:46:43.020 --> 00:46:44.340
Because you're standing in your authority,

768
00:46:44.340 --> 00:46:45.840
I want you to understand that.

769
00:46:46.220 --> 00:46:48.040
And everything that we speak out of our mouth,

770
00:46:48.300 --> 00:46:50.020
remember in our tongue,

771
00:46:50.060 --> 00:46:52.440
we have the power of life and death, okay?

772
00:46:52.440 --> 00:46:56.100
So I choose forgiveness over my feelings.

773
00:46:59.480 --> 00:47:03.860
I release and say their name and choose to walk in freedom.

774
00:47:06.400 --> 00:47:09.820
I release whoever it is and choose to walk in freedom

775
00:47:09.820 --> 00:47:12.220
if you didn't get that full one on the first time.

776
00:47:12.240 --> 00:47:13.340
Here's the next one.

777
00:47:14.080 --> 00:47:19.780
I open my heart to receive all that God has for me.

778
00:47:23.600 --> 00:47:24.120
Hmm.

779
00:47:25.560 --> 00:47:27.440
Number four, I have the capacity

780
00:47:28.320 --> 00:47:33.200
to perceive and receive my spirit mate.

781
00:47:34.480 --> 00:47:35.580
We're gonna do that one again.

782
00:47:35.620 --> 00:47:36.840
I feel it in the Holy Spirit.

783
00:47:37.640 --> 00:47:44.220
I have the capacity to perceive and receive my spirit mate.

784
00:47:45.800 --> 00:47:47.540
We're gonna put your name in that now.

785
00:47:47.540 --> 00:47:50.360
So I, whatever your name is,

786
00:47:51.480 --> 00:47:56.180
have the capacity to perceive and receive my spirit mate.

787
00:47:57.380 --> 00:48:00.960
Number five, unforgiveness will no longer

788
00:48:01.200 --> 00:48:03.340
block my blessings.

789
00:48:06.520 --> 00:48:07.860
Yes, Lord.

790
00:48:09.460 --> 00:48:13.820
In Jesus' name, amen, amen.

791
00:48:13.840 --> 00:48:15.180
Okay, you can come back with me.

792
00:48:15.340 --> 00:48:17.060
Y'all, I'll put those up in the groups

793
00:48:17.060 --> 00:48:18.360
after I get off tonight

794
00:48:18.360 --> 00:48:20.320
so that you can continue to partner with those

795
00:48:20.320 --> 00:48:21.920
because it's not just about tonight.

796
00:48:22.020 --> 00:48:25.780
It's about daily putting ourselves in this posture.

797
00:48:25.960 --> 00:48:27.340
I'm gonna put them up too

798
00:48:27.340 --> 00:48:29.280
because as I was preparing to come on

799
00:48:29.280 --> 00:48:30.380
and lead you all tonight,

800
00:48:31.720 --> 00:48:34.200
probably about 20 minutes before this session,

801
00:48:34.740 --> 00:48:36.140
I chose to forgive someone,

802
00:48:37.060 --> 00:48:39.960
someone that has authority in my life,

803
00:48:40.260 --> 00:48:44.380
that said some stuff that was very hurtful.

804
00:48:45.240 --> 00:48:48.280
And I have been offended this week about it.

805
00:48:50.260 --> 00:48:52.180
And I needed to forgive them,

806
00:48:52.540 --> 00:48:54.560
not just for them, but for me.

807
00:48:55.960 --> 00:48:58.640
So I want you to know I'm walking in this with you.

808
00:48:59.560 --> 00:49:01.780
Here are some practical next steps for you.

809
00:49:02.520 --> 00:49:04.580
We've kind of talked about this tonight already.

810
00:49:04.660 --> 00:49:07.040
So identify one person you need to forgive this week.

811
00:49:07.320 --> 00:49:08.920
Hopefully you already know who that is

812
00:49:08.960 --> 00:49:10.920
because some of you put it in the chat.

813
00:49:13.040 --> 00:49:16.840
Number two, take one practical action of forgiveness.

814
00:49:17.040 --> 00:49:18.860
So this is that activating it.

815
00:49:19.120 --> 00:49:21.940
And remember, it does not require contact.

816
00:49:22.820 --> 00:49:25.620
I didn't drive from one state to another

817
00:49:25.620 --> 00:49:26.680
to go visit my mom.

818
00:49:26.820 --> 00:49:28.940
I sent her a gift, okay?

819
00:49:30.420 --> 00:49:32.940
Number three, pray daily.

820
00:49:33.660 --> 00:49:36.560
Lord, increase my capacity to perceive

821
00:49:36.560 --> 00:49:37.860
and receive your blessings.

822
00:49:38.040 --> 00:49:40.820
So I'll send you these practical next steps as well.

823
00:49:40.820 --> 00:49:43.940
Here's the final truth before I open up the heartwork seat

824
00:49:43.940 --> 00:49:46.280
for whoever wants to get into that tonight.

825
00:49:47.160 --> 00:49:49.760
Remember this, the gift of forgiveness you give tonight

826
00:49:50.800 --> 00:49:52.600
isn't just about them.

827
00:49:53.420 --> 00:49:55.700
It's about clearing the path for everything

828
00:49:55.700 --> 00:49:57.520
God wants to bring into your life,

829
00:49:58.380 --> 00:49:59.980
including the love story that he.

830
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:08.560
is already writing for you. Do you perceive it? He's already writing it,

831
00:50:11.300 --> 00:50:15.680
praying for you, praying and believing for all of you. And I know some of you are struggling.

832
00:50:16.440 --> 00:50:20.660
I know that, um, okay, thank you, Lord. I love God. He's so awesome.

833
00:50:22.520 --> 00:50:25.380
You know, here's something I want you all to be really careful about.

834
00:50:26.420 --> 00:50:30.780
And when I say this, I'm not minimizing the holiday seasons being hard. I know they are.

835
00:50:30.820 --> 00:50:37.340
I know they are. Even for myself, I'm married, but we live in Florida. None of our family is here.

836
00:50:37.660 --> 00:50:41.340
We won't see any of our family for Christmas. That's, that's hard. That's sad.

837
00:50:41.840 --> 00:50:45.140
My grandparents are dead. My mom's dead. My dad's dead.

838
00:50:47.200 --> 00:50:53.960
I'm not close with any of my family. That's sad. It's hard. That is not the kind of family I want.

839
00:50:55.700 --> 00:50:59.440
I get an opportunity to create a different legacy. You all,

840
00:51:00.880 --> 00:51:06.380
I get to, I get to do things differently with my kids. So like, I just went to visit them. And

841
00:51:06.380 --> 00:51:09.060
one of my main focuses when I go to Kentucky is to be with them

842
00:51:10.440 --> 00:51:13.540
because I love them and I want them to know that no matter what.

843
00:51:14.840 --> 00:51:19.780
So where I was going with this and what I heard in the spirit is that some of you,

844
00:51:22.160 --> 00:51:27.720
you tend to get really triggered around the holidays and I get it, but I heard the Lord say

845
00:51:27.720 --> 00:51:33.720
to tell you that it's time to come out of agreement with that statement. Yes, Lord.

846
00:51:35.660 --> 00:51:38.940
It's time to come out of agreement with that statement because what's happening,

847
00:51:39.760 --> 00:51:44.280
I'm not saying it's not going to be hard, but when, when we partner with every,

848
00:51:44.360 --> 00:51:49.820
every holiday, I get triggered. I struggle every holiday. We're reinforcing that.

849
00:51:51.000 --> 00:51:54.660
Even though this is a little bit different. I remember before I met Brian,

850
00:51:56.140 --> 00:52:00.460
the Christmas before that being probably one of the loneliest Christmases I've had.

851
00:52:01.600 --> 00:52:07.520
I felt free and it was really actually a blessing, but I remember having to battle

852
00:52:07.660 --> 00:52:14.780
loneliness more than I ever had before. But you know what I partnered with, wait a minute.

853
00:52:16.160 --> 00:52:21.800
I'm pretty amazing and not in a prideful way, but it was like, God started giving me a revelation

854
00:52:22.340 --> 00:52:29.420
of my own being and how, of how like everywhere I go, I fill a space with something great.

855
00:52:31.880 --> 00:52:38.120
Do you believe that? Do you believe that even when no one else is around,

856
00:52:39.000 --> 00:52:47.240
that you fill that space with something amazing and great. Even if no one, no one notices you,

857
00:52:47.380 --> 00:52:52.760
no one applauds you, no one calls you. You guys back in the day, I can remember panicking when

858
00:52:52.760 --> 00:52:57.040
I would go through something and so many times people would never pick up and I'd be like,

859
00:52:57.140 --> 00:53:02.600
why does this happen? And the Lord would be like, cause I'm trying to get you to turn to me.

860
00:53:05.860 --> 00:53:12.720
You fill a space. Do you believe that there's something good in you, that everywhere that you

861
00:53:12.860 --> 00:53:19.440
are, there is value. There is awe, there is wonder because God created you with all of that.

862
00:53:21.600 --> 00:53:26.220
I'm not saying you shouldn't want a spirit mate. So don't hear me. That's not what I'm saying.

863
00:53:27.200 --> 00:53:32.360
I'm saying to you that the more that you stand in your value, the more that you understand

864
00:53:32.360 --> 00:53:40.020
who you are and how amazing you are, the more you're going to get prepared to receive someone

865
00:53:40.020 --> 00:53:51.440
really amazing. It is possible. Yes, Lord. I just saw him opening a gift. So guess what that means?

866
00:53:52.060 --> 00:53:58.180
He's opening up a gift to give it to somebody. So somebody here tonight, this has increased your

867
00:53:58.180 --> 00:54:04.120
to perceive your spirit mate is coming soon. And I want you to know that that is true. If that is

868
00:54:04.120 --> 00:54:10.880
what you feel, I want to confirm that to you and that he is on his way in Jesus name. All right.

869
00:54:10.940 --> 00:54:16.840
So I'm going to open the heartwork seat, Mandy, it is you and it's a bunch of other people too,

870
00:54:16.920 --> 00:54:23.480
but yes, I believe that for you, my friend. All right, Dave, go ahead. And you all, you can ask

871
00:54:23.480 --> 00:54:27.240
anything. Okay. So it's an open heartwork seat. It can be about forgiveness. It can be about

872
00:54:27.240 --> 00:54:34.120
something else if you need it to be. Go ahead, Dave. Oh, you're muted. There you go.

873
00:54:34.720 --> 00:54:43.640
One second. Just finding my notes here. So we often, we often talk about how like our dream

874
00:54:43.640 --> 00:54:49.020
partners like won't meet our expectations or how we need like more experience. And it's true that

875
00:54:49.020 --> 00:54:55.760
no one is exactly like, like how you perfectly imagined. But in my life, what I've learned is

876
00:54:55.760 --> 00:54:59.980
that the reality is, is that like reality is always better. And my relationship.

877
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.860
relationships haven't been perfect, like some of them have been really rough and harmful

878
00:55:02.860 --> 00:55:03.360
to me.

879
00:55:03.440 --> 00:55:09.140
But even then, they were always way more blessings and profound lessons that I gained than I

880
00:55:09.140 --> 00:55:10.020
ever thought were possible.

881
00:55:10.340 --> 00:55:14.280
So I always, I was always better for the experience.

882
00:55:14.360 --> 00:55:19.980
So that kind of made me wonder, is it possible that we need to like maybe like stop imagining

883
00:55:20.140 --> 00:55:24.840
a limited future, a one that's based on our own like limited imagination and start accepting

884
00:55:24.840 --> 00:55:30.300
the incredible and unknown blessings that God has for us, that like the purpose of making

885
00:55:30.300 --> 00:55:32.340
us whole, building our strength and making us grow?

886
00:55:33.260 --> 00:55:34.760
Well, yeah, 100%.

887
00:55:35.040 --> 00:55:39.600
Because I mean, I think I just told this story last night, but y'all went and heard it, but

888
00:55:39.600 --> 00:55:41.760
you might have heard it before for some of you.

889
00:55:43.100 --> 00:55:49.180
When I first met Brian, well, when I first saw him on the app, I wasn't even going to

890
00:55:49.260 --> 00:55:51.200
swipe to receive a message from him.

891
00:55:53.980 --> 00:55:58.120
But y'all, I've told him this story just so you know, but he had this really cute dog

892
00:55:58.480 --> 00:56:02.100
and he looked handsome, but he wasn't normally my, he wasn't my type.

893
00:56:03.120 --> 00:56:07.240
And so I almost did not swipe to have a conversation with him, but then I just kept feeling like

894
00:56:07.240 --> 00:56:08.740
he kept popping up in my feed.

895
00:56:09.360 --> 00:56:13.720
And so the Lord kept highlighting to me, I'm like, okay, I'm just, I'm just gonna, we'll

896
00:56:13.720 --> 00:56:13.920
see.

897
00:56:14.480 --> 00:56:15.240
We'll see how this goes.

898
00:56:15.700 --> 00:56:16.620
And so I did.

899
00:56:17.700 --> 00:56:25.220
And when he came to the first date, I was kind of like, meh, he's all right.

900
00:56:25.940 --> 00:56:29.320
As far as his looks go, but you know what?

901
00:56:29.880 --> 00:56:36.220
After having maybe like a two, two and a half hour conversation with him, seeing him and

902
00:56:36.220 --> 00:56:41.360
the way that he treated the people that were at the coffee shop, he paid for me to be generous.

903
00:56:41.460 --> 00:56:43.880
There was like a pay it forward thing at that place.

904
00:56:43.880 --> 00:56:48.360
He, he paid for himself to be generous, but then he paid for me to be generous too, because

905
00:56:48.360 --> 00:56:50.880
I was standing there looking at it and I wanted to do it.

906
00:56:50.880 --> 00:56:51.600
And I mentioned it to him.

907
00:56:51.600 --> 00:56:53.040
He's like, well, I'll pay for you to do it.

908
00:56:53.560 --> 00:56:57.520
There were just a lot of things that I just started seeing in him that I was like, whoa,

909
00:56:57.800 --> 00:56:59.000
this is good stuff.

910
00:56:59.780 --> 00:57:04.040
And so he asked me before he left that night, if I would like to go on another date.

911
00:57:04.080 --> 00:57:06.480
And I'm like, yeah, I would.

912
00:57:06.840 --> 00:57:11.340
But even in that moment, I still wasn't sure if I was attracted to him.

913
00:57:12.100 --> 00:57:17.180
So he comes back to Lexington for the second date and I'm going to get to the core of what

914
00:57:17.180 --> 00:57:18.000
you're asking, Dave.

915
00:57:18.100 --> 00:57:22.060
But when he came to the second date, we walked into the restaurant and y'all, he kind of,

916
00:57:22.180 --> 00:57:28.720
kind of not in a, in a weird way, but he kind of put his hand right by my back in my lower

917
00:57:28.720 --> 00:57:29.000
back.

918
00:57:29.020 --> 00:57:33.740
Not, and again, he not inappropriate, but I remember thinking like, Ooh, I don't, I

919
00:57:33.740 --> 00:57:35.640
don't know if I want people thinking we're together.

920
00:57:35.700 --> 00:57:36.940
I don't know if I'm there yet.

921
00:57:37.800 --> 00:57:40.320
Literally, these are the thoughts I was having you all.

922
00:57:41.720 --> 00:57:43.640
And I sat down.

923
00:57:44.160 --> 00:57:46.220
I remember still thinking in that moment.

924
00:57:46.880 --> 00:57:52.020
I actually think I remember there was a guy over sitting to the left of us that looked

925
00:57:52.280 --> 00:57:57.760
like someone I would have normally picked, but yet I was here with Brian.

926
00:57:58.780 --> 00:58:00.820
And so that's how that night started.

927
00:58:01.340 --> 00:58:06.100
But again, the more that I heard him talking and I heard his heart and we're having these

928
00:58:06.100 --> 00:58:08.440
really awesome conversations.

929
00:58:08.560 --> 00:58:13.040
I'm like, gosh, I know I felt uncomfortable like an hour ago.

930
00:58:14.380 --> 00:58:15.340
Not because of him.

931
00:58:15.420 --> 00:58:18.200
It was more about what was going on inside of me.

932
00:58:19.460 --> 00:58:23.800
And so by the time we left that place, I was like, man, I just, I like spending time with

933
00:58:23.800 --> 00:58:24.260
this guy.

934
00:58:24.540 --> 00:58:27.460
And so we went to this park and we were walking around.

935
00:58:27.560 --> 00:58:32.320
And before I knew it, I was like, I don't know if I've ever been this comfortable with

936
00:58:32.320 --> 00:58:33.980
someone like I am with him right now.

937
00:58:33.980 --> 00:58:40.280
I just felt so at peace, so comfortable, and that had never been my experience before.

938
00:58:40.700 --> 00:58:42.760
And so that was getting my attention.

939
00:58:43.500 --> 00:58:49.140
And so I'm saying that to you to say that, yeah, I think I had at the beginning of that,

940
00:58:49.160 --> 00:58:53.340
I think I had a limited perspective of, of who God had for me.

941
00:58:53.460 --> 00:58:58.740
I think that the other challenge that I faced was, you know, his denomination.

942
00:58:59.340 --> 00:59:04.640
And I almost considered not dating him anymore because of his denomination, you all.

943
00:59:04.960 --> 00:59:05.320
True story.

944
00:59:06.760 --> 00:59:10.960
Jackie had a conversation with me about that as well, lovingly told me, you need to let

945
00:59:10.960 --> 00:59:11.500
this go.

946
00:59:12.460 --> 00:59:17.560
And I prayed about it, talked to him about it, processed it, was very honest with him

947
00:59:17.560 --> 00:59:19.600
about why I was concerned about it.

948
00:59:19.880 --> 00:59:23.660
And we had a great conversation, really powerful.

949
00:59:24.260 --> 00:59:27.920
And I was able to surrender that pen to the Lord.

950
00:59:29.040 --> 00:59:35.600
And because of that, God started expanding my perspective of my future.

951
00:59:37.460 --> 00:59:43.660
So, Dave, yes, I think that sometimes we come into situations and we meet people.

952
00:59:43.780 --> 00:59:48.520
And even before we meet them, we have this, even in life, in every way you all, we have

953
00:59:48.520 --> 00:59:51.320
a very small box that we look at things through.

954
00:59:51.320 --> 00:59:53.800
I want you to imagine, do you remember back in the day?

955
00:59:53.840 --> 00:59:56.780
I'm going to date myself here, but do you remember back in the day?

956
00:59:56.840 --> 00:59:58.380
I don't even remember what they were called anymore.

957
00:59:58.580 --> 00:59:59.980
Someone will have to help me, but they were.

958
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.780
Those red, you looked into them

959
01:00:02.780 --> 01:00:04.660
and you would put those white circle things

960
01:00:04.660 --> 01:00:05.600
that were like film.

961
01:00:06.340 --> 01:00:08.740
Yes, Debra, the view master.

962
01:00:09.540 --> 01:00:12.340
Yes, and we would sit and we would look at the story

963
01:00:12.340 --> 01:00:14.300
or whatever through this view master.

964
01:00:15.340 --> 01:00:16.160
Here's the truth.

965
01:00:17.480 --> 01:00:20.660
Most of us are walking around every single day

966
01:00:20.660 --> 01:00:23.560
with a view master literally attached to us.

967
01:00:23.880 --> 01:00:24.960
That's what it's really like.

968
01:00:25.560 --> 01:00:30.460
But if we will turn our perspective over to the Lord,

969
01:00:30.920 --> 01:00:33.160
just like I was saying, for a lot of you,

970
01:00:33.320 --> 01:00:36.500
it's about whether or not you can perceive a thing.

971
01:00:37.400 --> 01:00:39.340
But in order for us to perceive it,

972
01:00:39.420 --> 01:00:41.280
don't we need to get rid of the lenses

973
01:00:41.280 --> 01:00:42.440
that we're looking through?

974
01:00:44.140 --> 01:00:44.660
Yeah.

975
01:00:45.380 --> 01:00:45.900
Yeah.

976
01:00:46.440 --> 01:00:49.760
And even when things happen and people come into our life,

977
01:00:49.880 --> 01:00:51.680
yeah, we have to be willing to say,

978
01:00:51.760 --> 01:00:53.820
okay, Lord, like how do you see them?

979
01:00:54.340 --> 01:00:56.600
Because some of you all, you're going on dates even,

980
01:00:57.300 --> 01:00:59.420
and you're feeling all kinds of chemistry,

981
01:01:00.280 --> 01:01:04.280
but that person's, there's red flags left and right.

982
01:01:05.100 --> 01:01:07.020
Let's not settle for that.

983
01:01:07.140 --> 01:01:10.200
Let's know that God can give us both.

984
01:01:10.460 --> 01:01:12.280
I didn't have fiery chemistry

985
01:01:12.280 --> 01:01:13.820
on my first two dates with him,

986
01:01:13.900 --> 01:01:18.020
but man, that slow burn, y'all is way, way,

987
01:01:18.020 --> 01:01:21.000
I've had lust, I've had chemistry before,

988
01:01:21.100 --> 01:01:22.740
and it didn't end up well,

989
01:01:22.740 --> 01:01:27.160
but that slow burn, baby, turned into a fire,

990
01:01:27.660 --> 01:01:29.280
and it turned into an engagement,

991
01:01:29.460 --> 01:01:31.040
and it turned into a marriage,

992
01:01:31.080 --> 01:01:35.020
and y'all, I love him, deeply love my husband.

993
01:01:35.500 --> 01:01:38.620
So Dave, yeah, for all of you,

994
01:01:38.660 --> 01:01:40.160
I think you're more asking the question.

995
01:01:40.300 --> 01:01:41.520
I hope that I answered it.

996
01:01:41.700 --> 01:01:42.220
Was that?

997
01:01:42.260 --> 01:01:43.100
You did, yeah.

998
01:01:43.780 --> 01:01:44.520
Yeah, excellent.

999
01:01:44.660 --> 01:01:47.680
Yeah, it's letting God write your story

1000
01:01:48.040 --> 01:01:50.080
and allowing him to show you

1001
01:01:50.080 --> 01:01:52.480
that his story is way bigger for you

1002
01:01:52.480 --> 01:01:54.740
than what you could ever ask, think, or imagine.

1003
01:01:55.620 --> 01:01:56.780
Yeah, and I think for me,

1004
01:01:56.820 --> 01:01:58.160
I think my non-negotiables,

1005
01:01:58.720 --> 01:01:59.980
what I'm feeling challenged about you sharing,

1006
01:02:00.140 --> 01:02:02.260
were really mine and not from heaven.

1007
01:02:03.120 --> 01:02:06.380
So like, I was going through my original non-negotiables

1008
01:02:06.380 --> 01:02:07.240
when I finished the artwork,

1009
01:02:07.340 --> 01:02:09.680
and I thought, I don't believe any of these anymore.

1010
01:02:10.340 --> 01:02:12.700
And so it's kind of like, God's been like, yeah.

1011
01:02:13.720 --> 01:02:14.120
Actually, my-

1012
01:02:14.120 --> 01:02:15.400
Well, and for those, go ahead.

1013
01:02:15.960 --> 01:02:18.560
No, my pastor gave me the same analogy of the viewmaster,

1014
01:02:18.780 --> 01:02:21.140
and he said, are you ready to put the toy down?

1015
01:02:21.140 --> 01:02:22.620
And I have it in my journal, and he said,

1016
01:02:22.960 --> 01:02:24.480
because you're looking at it like a little toy.

1017
01:02:24.640 --> 01:02:25.900
And he's like, they're real people.

1018
01:02:26.140 --> 01:02:28.340
So put the toy down and open your eyes.

1019
01:02:28.340 --> 01:02:30.200
That is a massive confirmation, Dave.

1020
01:02:30.280 --> 01:02:32.020
I don't think I've talked about a viewmaster

1021
01:02:32.300 --> 01:02:36.500
for like 20-some years or something, literally.

1022
01:02:36.800 --> 01:02:38.160
I've never used that analogy.

1023
01:02:38.480 --> 01:02:41.060
It came up in my spirit as I was talking to you.

1024
01:02:41.060 --> 01:02:42.060
So that is the Lord.

1025
01:02:42.200 --> 01:02:44.800
I had no clue that your pastor said that to you.

1026
01:02:45.100 --> 01:02:46.240
The Lord wants you to know,

1027
01:02:46.840 --> 01:02:48.140
like, you know, think of it this way, you all.

1028
01:02:48.180 --> 01:02:50.300
This is how God confirms the word, okay?

1029
01:02:50.900 --> 01:02:53.640
So God was speaking to you through your pastor,

1030
01:02:53.640 --> 01:02:55.160
and now he's come tonight,

1031
01:02:55.160 --> 01:02:56.980
and he's confirming that word for you.

1032
01:02:57.380 --> 01:02:59.320
It's about continuing to surrender

1033
01:02:59.580 --> 01:03:01.380
your perspective and your view.

1034
01:03:01.700 --> 01:03:04.120
It doesn't mean that God isn't gonna bless you

1035
01:03:04.120 --> 01:03:05.620
with somebody incredible.

1036
01:03:06.520 --> 01:03:09.900
It just means that he wants you to open your mind

1037
01:03:10.960 --> 01:03:16.080
to see what he sees and trust that he is good,

1038
01:03:16.740 --> 01:03:19.020
and he's the giver of good and perfect gifts,

1039
01:03:19.020 --> 01:03:21.260
and he's gonna give you a good and perfect gift

1040
01:03:21.260 --> 01:03:22.340
in your spirit, Nate.

1041
01:03:23.020 --> 01:03:25.380
And he knows, and here's the other thing, you know,

1042
01:03:25.380 --> 01:03:28.180
that I'll say again regarding Brian and I.

1043
01:03:29.980 --> 01:03:32.380
We knew there was a lot of spiritual DNA

1044
01:03:32.380 --> 01:03:33.660
before we even got married.

1045
01:03:33.820 --> 01:03:36.560
We knew that we both were deeply called to ministry,

1046
01:03:36.720 --> 01:03:38.900
that we were both running after the Lord,

1047
01:03:38.980 --> 01:03:41.540
but you know, you all, after we got married,

1048
01:03:41.700 --> 01:03:44.220
I started, you know, the more that Brian healed,

1049
01:03:44.780 --> 01:03:50.160
I started realizing just these deep gifts inside of him

1050
01:03:50.160 --> 01:03:51.460
that were sitting dormant

1051
01:03:51.500 --> 01:03:55.020
because of his own kind of unbelief for himself.

1052
01:03:55.480 --> 01:03:57.540
His ex-wife used to talk down to him all the time,

1053
01:03:57.580 --> 01:04:00.140
and then he actually had former leaders speak,

1054
01:04:00.540 --> 01:04:03.860
kind of telling him that he couldn't do certain things

1055
01:04:03.860 --> 01:04:05.260
as a pastor and a preacher.

1056
01:04:05.700 --> 01:04:09.500
And anyways, I'm saying that to say that coming together,

1057
01:04:10.780 --> 01:04:12.660
God activated things in him

1058
01:04:13.560 --> 01:04:15.940
that were sitting there dormant.

1059
01:04:16.720 --> 01:04:18.600
And so that's where it's also, some of you all,

1060
01:04:18.720 --> 01:04:21.880
you're gonna know they have a lot of wonderful things

1061
01:04:21.880 --> 01:04:26.440
about themselves, but you wanna follow peace.

1062
01:04:26.520 --> 01:04:28.300
You wanna follow the green flags.

1063
01:04:28.540 --> 01:04:30.820
You wanna really get to know the person

1064
01:04:31.420 --> 01:04:35.320
and let God show you who he sees that they are.

1065
01:04:36.960 --> 01:04:39.080
Yeah, so keep surrendering that, Dave.

1066
01:04:39.080 --> 01:04:40.320
It sounds like you're on the right path.

1067
01:04:40.320 --> 01:04:43.860
And when you gave the word in the prophetic night

1068
01:04:43.860 --> 01:04:44.880
about the little yellow bird.

1069
01:04:46.060 --> 01:04:46.360
So I-

1070
01:04:46.360 --> 01:04:48.500
I heard you talk about that on Saturday.

1071
01:04:49.120 --> 01:04:49.720
I loved that.

1072
01:04:50.300 --> 01:04:53.220
Yeah, so I had actually written a song word for word

1073
01:04:53.600 --> 01:04:55.580
exactly that had that yellow bird in it.

1074
01:04:55.600 --> 01:04:57.660
So I was like, and I went back and checked my notes

1075
01:04:57.660 --> 01:04:59.500
and I was like, this is like word for word.

1076
01:04:59.520 --> 01:04:59.980
So thanks.

1077
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:00.560
for that word.

1078
01:05:01.080 --> 01:05:01.800
Oh, that's awesome.

1079
01:05:01.860 --> 01:05:04.500
I love hearing that kind of stuff because sometimes y'all I'm like, I don't know where

1080
01:05:04.500 --> 01:05:05.300
this is coming from.

1081
01:05:05.340 --> 01:05:05.880
It's the Lord.

1082
01:05:05.880 --> 01:05:07.760
I'm just going to see what happens with it.

1083
01:05:07.880 --> 01:05:08.880
That is so awesome.

1084
01:05:09.080 --> 01:05:10.020
Thank you for sharing that.

1085
01:05:10.220 --> 01:05:11.120
Stephanie, go ahead.

1086
01:05:13.160 --> 01:05:13.600
Hey, Bethany.

1087
01:05:13.780 --> 01:05:16.500
Thanks for sharing about the dog story.

1088
01:05:17.100 --> 01:05:19.360
I feel like I'm that way with like farm animals.

1089
01:05:19.480 --> 01:05:25.140
Like if a guy is like holding a goat or a lamb, it's like, it's got my heart.

1090
01:05:25.140 --> 01:05:26.120
Okay.

1091
01:05:27.020 --> 01:05:37.820
So my question is, I am moving soon and I, God has been prompting me in the whole way

1092
01:05:37.820 --> 01:05:42.300
like, and I have been decluttering and getting rid of things.

1093
01:05:44.820 --> 01:05:50.300
And I, I feel like I'm starting to have some insight into where I'm going next, but I,

1094
01:05:50.300 --> 01:05:54.560
I don't know how, I don't know if it's, I think it's temporary.

1095
01:05:54.560 --> 01:05:55.640
I don't know how temporary.

1096
01:05:56.540 --> 01:06:05.920
And so in this process, I've been trying to like figure out details about like, if I'm

1097
01:06:05.920 --> 01:06:09.140
going to store my furniture or if I should just get rid of it.

1098
01:06:09.860 --> 01:06:17.460
And part of me like wants to just sell a bunch of the big stuff and like that just feels

1099
01:06:17.480 --> 01:06:21.360
so freeing to me for this next season.

1100
01:06:22.360 --> 01:06:31.100
But then I just, I noticed all this, I think anxiety coming up and just this like wanting

1101
01:06:31.100 --> 01:06:34.600
to like hold on to things.

1102
01:06:34.700 --> 01:06:42.240
And it's, it's like just stirring up a lot of feelings around like money and wasting

1103
01:06:42.240 --> 01:06:51.140
money and like scarcity mindset and like wanting to let go, but not knowing if that's a foolish

1104
01:06:51.140 --> 01:06:52.120
thing to do right now.

1105
01:06:52.180 --> 01:06:57.620
And just, I was, I've been surprised at like how much it's, it's been stirring up.

1106
01:07:00.020 --> 01:07:00.900
So yeah.

1107
01:07:00.920 --> 01:07:01.180
Okay.

1108
01:07:01.180 --> 01:07:02.300
I just wanted to make sure you were done.

1109
01:07:02.640 --> 01:07:02.640


1110
01:07:03.600 --> 01:07:09.360
So, Hey, interesting thing right before you said, then you said, I think this is temporary

1111
01:07:09.360 --> 01:07:12.240
right before you said that I heard the Lord say nomad.

1112
01:07:12.920 --> 01:07:13.360
Okay.

1113
01:07:13.360 --> 01:07:17.140
So a nomad is someone who kind of moves from place to place.

1114
01:07:17.220 --> 01:07:18.800
They have freedom to move.

1115
01:07:19.220 --> 01:07:20.760
And you can look more into that.

1116
01:07:20.760 --> 01:07:26.520
It doesn't mean that that's going to be, you know, the situation long-term, but I do

1117
01:07:26.520 --> 01:07:29.620
have a feeling that this is temporary for you.

1118
01:07:29.940 --> 01:07:33.960
Now, obviously continue to put that before the Lord and let him show you.

1119
01:07:34.380 --> 01:07:35.880
Here's my question for you.

1120
01:07:35.880 --> 01:07:36.920
You said it yourself.

1121
01:07:37.040 --> 01:07:41.520
When I think about selling the big stuff that feels very freeing.

1122
01:07:42.320 --> 01:07:42.820
Okay.

1123
01:07:42.820 --> 01:07:52.340
So let me ask you this, the big stuff, when you got it, does it remind you, or after you

1124
01:07:52.340 --> 01:07:58.940
got it, does it remind you of anyone or anything that brings you feelings that you

1125
01:07:58.940 --> 01:07:59.460
don't enjoy?

1126
01:08:04.600 --> 01:08:06.260
Some, yes.

1127
01:08:08.240 --> 01:08:14.580
Others, it's, it's more of the feeling of like, I don't enjoy feeling attached to it.

1128
01:08:14.720 --> 01:08:21.740
It's like, why I don't, I don't like, yeah, like feeling attached to stuff in that, like

1129
01:08:21.740 --> 01:08:22.899
it doesn't feel good.

1130
01:08:25.740 --> 01:08:32.800
So what if God is preparing you to get ready to not have a lot of stuff because he's going

1131
01:08:32.800 --> 01:08:35.859
to take you somewhere to introduce you to a spirit mate and you're going to be able to

1132
01:08:35.859 --> 01:08:41.200
buy a lot of new things at some point, you know, I think this is the thing you said it

1133
01:08:41.200 --> 01:08:41.779
really well.

1134
01:08:42.080 --> 01:08:48.160
When, when you start feeling like doing this and you're feeling all this freedom, then

1135
01:08:48.160 --> 01:08:53.720
what kicks in is anxiety, which remember anxiety or is what ifs, what if, what if, but

1136
01:08:53.720 --> 01:08:56.460
it's partnering with fear, false evidence appearing real.

1137
01:08:56.960 --> 01:09:00.600
So that's when you start hearing things like you're wasting money.

1138
01:09:00.600 --> 01:09:07.760
And so my question for you on that is, you know, growing up, were you kind of around

1139
01:09:08.120 --> 01:09:15.399
people that never got rid of anything or that there was shame around wanting to let go of

1140
01:09:15.399 --> 01:09:16.800
something to get something new?

1141
01:09:17.319 --> 01:09:21.979
And again, this isn't to criticize them, but it's understanding that if we were around

1142
01:09:21.979 --> 01:09:26.300
people that, you know, you know, generations before us.

1143
01:09:26.300 --> 01:09:29.920
And again, I'm not, I'm not saying this is their fault or that it's bad, but there was

1144
01:09:29.920 --> 01:09:33.960
that hoarding phase, you know, they didn't get rid of anything because they went through

1145
01:09:33.960 --> 01:09:38.060
the Great Depression and stuff like that was really hard times for a lot of people.

1146
01:09:38.359 --> 01:09:41.760
And so they did struggle with letting go of things.

1147
01:09:41.760 --> 01:09:45.640
And so some of our grandparents, our parents went through that.

1148
01:09:45.660 --> 01:09:48.960
And so that's translated to us essentially.

1149
01:09:49.640 --> 01:09:54.600
And then there's also the factor of if our parents or anyone in our family line

1150
01:09:54.600 --> 01:09:59.980
struggled with money and they had guilt or shame for wanting something.

1151
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.060
something new or wanting to let go of something, then you might also be up against not only

1152
01:10:05.060 --> 01:10:08.080
your own things, but it could be connected to family line.

1153
01:10:08.680 --> 01:10:15.680
And so I want you to just pray around that stuff and really asking the Lord to kind of

1154
01:10:15.680 --> 01:10:17.080
reveal some more things for healing.

1155
01:10:17.220 --> 01:10:25.860
But also this whole thing that I said to you, you know, if you feel free, maybe it's God

1156
01:10:25.860 --> 01:10:30.460
trying to stretch your faith to believe that he's leading you into something new.

1157
01:10:31.700 --> 01:10:37.320
I remember when I moved to Indiana, y'all, I got rid of my couch.

1158
01:10:37.440 --> 01:10:39.240
I got rid of all kinds of big stuff.

1159
01:10:40.180 --> 01:10:42.880
I ended up renting an apartment that already had furniture.

1160
01:10:43.740 --> 01:10:47.480
I forgot, before I looked for an apartment, I didn't even, I didn't even remember that

1161
01:10:47.480 --> 01:10:49.140
there were apartments that had furniture.

1162
01:10:50.720 --> 01:10:54.980
But even going through that, it shifted my mind and got me ready.

1163
01:10:56.120 --> 01:10:59.660
When Brian and I got married, he already had a couch and it was a pretty cool couch.

1164
01:10:59.660 --> 01:11:02.000
And I was very happy with using his couch.

1165
01:11:02.520 --> 01:11:05.180
And so again, like I know it can get hard.

1166
01:11:05.280 --> 01:11:09.860
Like we partner with fear because we're afraid if we let go of something, well, we might

1167
01:11:09.860 --> 01:11:10.560
need that thing.

1168
01:11:10.700 --> 01:11:16.040
I do it even with clothes that I haven't worn in like 20, 20 years, you all, I might want

1169
01:11:16.040 --> 01:11:16.820
to wear that thing again.

1170
01:11:16.820 --> 01:11:20.920
And if I ever fit back into it and we get afraid to let go of stuff.

1171
01:11:22.080 --> 01:11:26.700
But God, I think is saying, Hey, what, like, you know, will you trust me with that thing?

1172
01:11:27.120 --> 01:11:33.200
Will you trust me with giving you provision and the future to buy something new?

1173
01:11:35.600 --> 01:11:36.100
Yeah.

1174
01:11:36.100 --> 01:11:45.200
And I think it, it's tapping into like, I know that that's been a challenge for me for

1175
01:11:45.200 --> 01:11:47.660
many, many, many years, just trusting God with provision.

1176
01:11:48.260 --> 01:11:56.600
And also like, it's hard for me to like, spend a significant amount of money on myself or

1177
01:11:56.600 --> 01:11:58.520
just spend money on myself, I think in general.

1178
01:11:58.960 --> 01:12:00.820
So it's like all these things.

1179
01:12:01.520 --> 01:12:05.560
So this is going to be a part of your healing process, then I'm pretty confident of that

1180
01:12:05.560 --> 01:12:10.820
because God is trying to let you know that it's not about you being wasteful, Stephanie.

1181
01:12:11.640 --> 01:12:19.320
God is giving you permission to let go and embrace the freedom feeling that you're having,

1182
01:12:19.560 --> 01:12:21.120
even thinking about letting it go.

1183
01:12:21.260 --> 01:12:28.460
The reason I asked you the question, does that stuff remind you of somebody or something

1184
01:12:28.460 --> 01:12:31.240
that wasn't that, that caused you to feel bad.

1185
01:12:32.100 --> 01:12:37.140
And what you said was like, kind of, but it just, you just feel like you just want to

1186
01:12:37.140 --> 01:12:39.560
get like, you want to let that go.

1187
01:12:40.200 --> 01:12:45.320
Typically it is because it reminds us of something that we don't want to be reminded of.

1188
01:12:45.820 --> 01:12:56.320
And sometimes it's a season, you know, I, the couch that I got rid of y'all for a couple

1189
01:12:56.320 --> 01:12:57.860
years, I was so glad to have it.

1190
01:12:57.860 --> 01:13:03.100
I was so proud of myself because I bought it myself and I struggled financially a lot

1191
01:13:03.100 --> 01:13:03.960
over the years.

1192
01:13:07.200 --> 01:13:14.880
But when I was dating my spiritual daughter's dad, I, when I originally bought that couch,

1193
01:13:14.960 --> 01:13:18.320
it was mine, but I let him keep it at his house.

1194
01:13:18.420 --> 01:13:19.320
The girls loved it.

1195
01:13:19.340 --> 01:13:21.000
They always wanted to sit on it at my house.

1196
01:13:21.040 --> 01:13:25.260
And so we moved it to his house and, and all the things, and the girls would fight over

1197
01:13:25.400 --> 01:13:26.280
that couch.

1198
01:13:27.000 --> 01:13:35.700
And while that sounds so cute, what happened is after I broke up with him, he, he constantly

1199
01:13:35.700 --> 01:13:38.460
tried to prevent me from being able to see them.

1200
01:13:40.720 --> 01:13:46.860
And when I would sit in my apartment, sometimes when I wasn't able to see them, I would feel

1201
01:13:46.860 --> 01:13:48.380
sad sitting on that couch.

1202
01:13:49.760 --> 01:13:55.660
Now I'm not saying this is anything in your story, but what I am saying is that it was

1203
01:13:55.660 --> 01:13:57.400
important for me to look at that.

1204
01:13:59.260 --> 01:14:04.880
And it was important for me to let that couch go because God had new memories for me that

1205
01:14:04.880 --> 01:14:05.940
he wanted to give me.

1206
01:14:06.440 --> 01:14:09.400
And that included a new couch that my husband already owned.

1207
01:14:10.060 --> 01:14:15.060
And then when we moved here to Florida, you all, Brian and I went shopping and bought

1208
01:14:15.060 --> 01:14:15.480
brand new.

1209
01:14:15.480 --> 01:14:19.460
We still have that couch he had, but we brought, we bought brand new furniture.

1210
01:14:20.040 --> 01:14:22.340
Neither one of us had ever done that before.

1211
01:14:22.360 --> 01:14:24.300
Brand new, like nice furniture.

1212
01:14:24.300 --> 01:14:30.540
And that couch I had before, it was, it was nice for that season, but see, even letting

1213
01:14:30.540 --> 01:14:36.860
go of that from that season opened me up to be able to give myself permission to receive

1214
01:14:36.860 --> 01:14:38.440
what Brian had that was plenty.

1215
01:14:39.000 --> 01:14:44.580
But then when we moved into the next season to buy something that like spend money that

1216
01:14:44.580 --> 01:14:48.340
we didn't, we wouldn't have normally spent on ourselves for furniture.

1217
01:14:49.240 --> 01:14:52.760
And we weren't like crazy, you all, but it's really beautiful furniture.

1218
01:14:53.400 --> 01:14:58.620
And so, yeah, it's learning, it's learning to let go so that we can receive new.

1219
01:15:00.820 --> 01:15:06.940
Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah. And I also, I just wanted to say I've used that nomad word.

1220
01:15:07.380 --> 01:15:12.580
I've, I've joked, like, maybe I'll just be a nomad for a little while. So that was confirmation. So

1221
01:15:12.580 --> 01:15:18.320
thank you. All right. Another confirmation tonight. You all, I love this. Keep us posted on

1222
01:15:18.320 --> 01:15:24.180
how that goes. Stephanie, where are you moving to? Like, sorry. Are you going to stay in the

1223
01:15:24.180 --> 01:15:28.220
same city and state where you're at? Or are you going to move somewhere different or what's that

1224
01:15:28.220 --> 01:15:35.980
like? Yeah, I think I'm moving somewhere different. So I'm not, I have some ideas.

1225
01:15:36.340 --> 01:15:39.860
Yeah, that's all right. Keep us posted on how that goes. Okay.

1226
01:15:41.060 --> 01:15:44.540
Awesome. Thank you for sharing. Bernice, go ahead.

1227
01:15:54.320 --> 01:15:59.880
Oh, you're muted still. There you go. Okay. So I just wanted to say this is

1228
01:16:00.700 --> 01:16:07.640
confirmation too, because this morning in my quiet time, I was praying, and I felt like

1229
01:16:07.640 --> 01:16:16.520
the Lord told me to go to my son and ask his forgiveness for being harsh in the way I spanked

1230
01:16:16.520 --> 01:16:26.780
him when he was younger out of anger. And it wasn't abuse. Yeah, I understand. But I spanked

1231
01:16:26.780 --> 01:16:37.300
him in anger. And I felt like I needed to share that with you because you and Jackie are on point.

1232
01:16:37.640 --> 01:16:44.640
And as well as with one of my friends, one of my girlfriends that basically took my kindness

1233
01:16:45.240 --> 01:16:51.680
and used it. The Lord told me to send her a wedding gift because she's going to be getting

1234
01:16:51.780 --> 01:16:58.100
married in March. Two things this morning, and it was all about forgiveness. So I just wanted

1235
01:16:58.100 --> 01:17:05.340
to share and say this is confirmation. I love this. And Bernice, I would love to hear like

1236
01:17:05.340 --> 01:17:09.880
what happened when you told your son, when you asked him to forgive you for that,

1237
01:17:10.220 --> 01:17:17.540
did he receive that or how did that unfold for you? No, not in the beginning. He didn't receive

1238
01:17:17.540 --> 01:17:25.620
it. He just said, Oh mom, that was a long time ago. And so when he came back home this evening,

1239
01:17:25.900 --> 01:17:34.760
I said to him, the Lord wants me to come back to you because he wants you to say, yes, I forgive

1240
01:17:34.760 --> 01:17:44.460
you. And he said, okay, mom, I forgive you. So yeah. So I went back to him and did that.

1241
01:17:44.880 --> 01:17:48.880
That's so awesome. I love this. I believe that there's things happening in the spirit realm

1242
01:17:48.920 --> 01:17:55.240
because of your obedience that you guys, both he and you are going to start to feel different in

1243
01:17:55.240 --> 01:17:59.560
ways that you didn't even know that you needed it. And I love that you shared this with us

1244
01:18:00.260 --> 01:18:07.500
and ladies and gentlemen, I hope that this encourages you to go and step into your forgiveness

1245
01:18:08.260 --> 01:18:12.620
channel if you will, tonight and in this next week ahead as well.

1246
01:18:13.160 --> 01:18:17.680
Crystal, hi, it's great to see you. Bernice, thanks for sharing that. Thank you.

1247
01:18:19.960 --> 01:18:27.900
Miss Lily is enamored with you, Bethany. She's very enamored with you tonight.

1248
01:18:27.900 --> 01:18:34.180
Um, so yes, forgiveness is definitely confirmation as I was on my roster for many,

1249
01:18:35.020 --> 01:18:40.260
many things, even for just like Lily's mom, um, you know, for leaving them here and now her

1250
01:18:40.260 --> 01:18:44.880
father's back in jail again. And anyways, just so that's a confirmation, but I have a question,

1251
01:18:45.200 --> 01:18:49.580
um, with the, the fostering and I think it's kind of a hint, probably a hindrance to in my,

1252
01:18:50.360 --> 01:18:56.120
in like going forward to, to spirit mate dating. I had Monroe here and I'm just trying to figure

1253
01:18:56.120 --> 01:19:01.120
out where, like where, where the guard is coming from. Like I had the little 12 month old here and

1254
01:19:01.120 --> 01:19:04.480
she came and went and it was, everybody's like, how you making out now that she's gone. And I'm

1255
01:19:04.780 --> 01:19:12.360
like, I have like no emotion attached to it. And, um, today we were in court over Lily,

1256
01:19:12.800 --> 01:19:15.320
uh, trying to figure out what to do because she's actually placed here with,

1257
01:19:15.560 --> 01:19:19.540
with no payments being made to me. So I'm looking after, looking after her out of pocket.

1258
01:19:19.960 --> 01:19:24.060
Um, so I had to tell them like, you know, that can't go, they, they asked me to do it for another

1259
01:19:24.060 --> 01:19:28.180
six months. So I had to tell them that I couldn't go on and people are like, you know, how are you

1260
01:19:28.180 --> 01:19:32.660
going to make out, you know, if they have to come pick her up or, you know, and, um, I don't know.

1261
01:19:32.680 --> 01:19:38.560
I feel like, I don't know where the, why the detachment, like, you know, like, you know,

1262
01:19:38.560 --> 01:19:43.740
like, I feel like I'm a person that loves really deep, deep anyways, like I did, like when my

1263
01:19:43.740 --> 01:19:49.960
parents died, it was such a, such a deep loss and such a grief loss, you know? And I, I feel,

1264
01:19:49.960 --> 01:19:55.900
I felt like I did a lot of work, um, through that with, with the Lord and with healing and

1265
01:19:55.900 --> 01:19:59.700
even with like, even writing like goodbye letters and stuff like that. But.

1266
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:21.500
I'm like, what, like, where's the because I don't want to be like that, like, especially when you take in kids like this or whatever. And I feel like it's probably going to transfer in other areas, like, even for my brother, like, this time last year, I had the full circle moment with with my brother, because, you know, like, Jackie gave that full circle word.

1267
01:20:21.500 --> 01:20:32.980
And I just, I really feel to see it to say to people, it's, it's actually not the full circle word. That was the most important thing that Jackie said, Jackie said, you can be right and not be right.

1268
01:20:33.480 --> 01:20:41.460
And I was right about what my brother did and him saying that he couldn't talk to me, but I wasn't right because it was breaking relationship.

1269
01:20:41.460 --> 01:21:07.840
So, and that and like, so this year, like, we had the full circle moment a year ago, and it's, you know, it's been excellent. Like, you know, there's nothing been broken there. And it's even come down to, you know, that he invited him himself himself and his family for Christmas here, you know, so, you know, that someone's comfortable with when they invite themselves over and you didn't invite them. Right? So, you know, and it's just like, I don't want to be like, guarded towards these situations.

1270
01:21:07.840 --> 01:21:08.540
Yeah.

1271
01:21:10.060 --> 01:21:19.940
Or whatever, because I want to be like, I, you know, I want to feel that deep love, but maybe I'm afraid of that deep, like that deep hurt from my parents, like, because I love so deeply.

1272
01:21:19.940 --> 01:21:43.100
I think that is because when you said that I wrote down what you said about your parents, I think that probably there's a level of you protecting yourself detachment happens to you all. And there's probably a lot deeper, scientific and psychological definition of this. But I want you to think about when we are detached from somebody or something.

1273
01:21:43.100 --> 01:22:10.300
It's almost like we're putting up a wall subconsciously to try to prevent us from feeling lost. If something should happen that disappoints us with that person with that thing. Some of us even do that with our jobs. You know, we struggle to move forward because we are actually detached, we're not fully engaged. And so I would really just encourage you to ask the Lord to reveal to you

1274
01:22:13.100 --> 01:22:36.280
how to take the wall down subconsciously, like what needs healed. So, and right before I went to say that to you, God gave me the answer. So that's kind of funny. It's like brick by brick. That's what I heard him say. So you're going to take it down brick by brick. And what that means is like healing layer by healing layer, like you're recognizing, you know, not only regarding Monroe, is that how you said it? Is that right?

1275
01:22:36.280 --> 01:22:37.480
Monroe, that's the first one.

1276
01:22:37.740 --> 01:23:00.140
And Lily, but you also recognize it with your brother. So the Lord's helping you make some really important connections that are all leaning back to, you know, not giving yourself permission to be fully open to love. So what is the deepest fear that you have regarding it?

1277
01:23:03.920 --> 01:23:30.120
I guess the loss, the loss really, because, you know, like, like, I was best friends with my parents and that was that was devastating. Like, just it was so devastating to me. Like, you know, that, you know, every, you know, my brother didn't have that relationship with them. Right? So he had a total other devastation loss. Right? But for me, you know, my loss wasn't about the past or anything. It was just about what I lost then and what, what I lost now.

1278
01:23:30.120 --> 01:23:32.260
And that's what I lost in my future, you know?

1279
01:23:32.500 --> 01:23:57.260
So that's really good. So do you let yourself actually feel what it would feel like when you, because you said Monroe, you just didn't even feel anything. Like, are you actually allowing yourself and I'm not, I don't want you to stay here. Okay. But I think based off of what you're describing and talking about,

1280
01:23:57.260 --> 01:24:24.000
remember, we have to feel the feels so that God can heal the fields. I think that you need to think about how do I feel about Lily not being with me? Like how, how, you know, how do I feel when I hold her? And if you don't, you know, I think that you are really good. I see you even on calls, like the way you take care of her, you're being a great mom. You're being a great mom on whatever level that means for you.

1281
01:24:24.000 --> 01:24:52.360
Um, but I think the thing that is important for you to ask yourself, are you really allowing yourself to, when you're holding her really allow yourself to get like fully shift into that mothering spirit, that nurturing, like where your heart is opening up to love, because here's what I see happening is through your brother, through Monroe, through Lily, God is teaching you how to open your heart back up to love.

1282
01:24:52.360 --> 01:24:59.980
And guess what, when you come across your spirit mate, you're gonna have to be able to open your heart to love or, or you won't be able to.

1283
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:07.420
receive them, right? And so, it's like, you know, where you're just going to start paying

1284
01:25:07.420 --> 01:25:13.160
attention to your feelings, or your, you know, that detachment, the lack of them,

1285
01:25:13.160 --> 01:25:18.800
so that you can ask the Lord to reveal to you, okay, Lord, and we think it's your parents,

1286
01:25:18.900 --> 01:25:23.600
but let's make sure it's not something before your parents. Lord, when is the first time I

1287
01:25:23.680 --> 01:25:30.780
didn't allow myself to, you know, really nurture someone else, or to receive love,

1288
01:25:30.820 --> 01:25:37.520
or allow myself to feel what it feels like to love fully, you know, where you're really looking

1289
01:25:37.520 --> 01:25:42.780
at that with the Lord, again, not getting out a shovel to dig, but just asking Him to reveal the

1290
01:25:42.780 --> 01:25:47.320
things for healing that are needed and necessary for you to move forward, because He's connecting

1291
01:25:47.320 --> 01:25:51.440
the dots, and He's showing you that this is something you're struggling with, but He's the

1292
01:25:51.680 --> 01:25:56.480
one that can help you take it down brick by brick, and literally shatter the wall of detachment

1293
01:25:57.140 --> 01:26:00.460
in a healthy way, not in a mean, harmful way, but in a, like,

1294
01:26:00.460 --> 01:26:04.880
hey, I'm just going to tap, tap, tap on this thing, and it's going to be gone. Does that make sense?

1295
01:26:07.800 --> 01:26:13.660
You okay? Yeah, I feel like it's, like, from when I was little, like, I don't know,

1296
01:26:13.660 --> 01:26:18.400
I just feel like I'm such a deep lover that, you know, when my parents used to take me to

1297
01:26:18.400 --> 01:26:23.360
old folks' homes to visit people, and I remember when the first person died, my parents were like,

1298
01:26:24.420 --> 01:26:29.360
that's it, you're not visiting no more old people anymore, because, you know, like,

1299
01:26:29.360 --> 01:26:34.780
it was a devastation to me, like, they didn't even know what to do with me, you know, and it was just,

1300
01:26:34.780 --> 01:26:40.360
like, this was some stranger, you know, that I went there to cheer up and make happy as, you know,

1301
01:26:40.360 --> 01:26:48.260
a little kid. Okay, so I just heard the Lord say to tell you that God gave that to you as a gift,

1302
01:26:48.400 --> 01:26:54.620
okay? It just got overextended, and unfortunately, and, you know, I'm not saying your parents weren't

1303
01:26:54.620 --> 01:27:01.320
good parents, but instead of just taking you away from that situation or ever feeling that pain

1304
01:27:01.880 --> 01:27:07.960
again, it may have been really helpful for them to kind of coach you through or help you through,

1305
01:27:07.960 --> 01:27:16.120
whether they could or had someone else help you through how to process death, how to process loss

1306
01:27:16.120 --> 01:27:21.340
and come back around on the other side where you can open yourself back up to love, because then,

1307
01:27:21.720 --> 01:27:25.560
you know, and there could be other things in between that person dying and you feeling that

1308
01:27:25.560 --> 01:27:30.600
deep pain and your parents dying, but right now we know two really big significant things, so I'm

1309
01:27:30.600 --> 01:27:35.200
going to go with that. So here you experience that big loss, and you're not really taught how

1310
01:27:35.360 --> 01:27:41.160
to process it, right? And now then your parents die, whether they died at the same time or they

1311
01:27:41.360 --> 01:27:48.300
whatever that looks like for you, the loss that you felt reinforced what you learned back here.

1312
01:27:50.360 --> 01:27:55.940
So basically, it's telling you, yeah, you cannot open your heart to love because this is what

1313
01:27:55.940 --> 01:28:03.440
happens every time you do, but that isn't true, okay? That's not true. That's just what the

1314
01:28:03.440 --> 01:28:08.680
dialogue the enemy is using to talk to you right now. Does that make sense?

1315
01:28:11.820 --> 01:28:19.800
Yeah. It's going to be okay. You are learning to love. I see you. I see you. It's funny. I was

1316
01:28:19.800 --> 01:28:24.180
just watching the Avatar movie, and as I said that to you, you know how in that movie, if you've seen

1317
01:28:24.180 --> 01:28:30.140
it, they kind of like say back and forth to each other, like, I see you. And literally, as I said

1318
01:28:30.240 --> 01:28:34.620
that, like, there's this like deep meaning behind that when they say it in the movie, and I just

1319
01:28:34.620 --> 01:28:40.860
want you to know that I see you, Crystal, and I know that your heart, you want to love, you are

1320
01:28:40.860 --> 01:28:46.540
loved. God has put a deep love within you, but you don't have to be afraid of that deep love, okay?

1321
01:28:46.760 --> 01:28:53.060
That's the past. God's going to teach you how to balance that love, and even if or when you get

1322
01:28:53.060 --> 01:29:00.560
your heart broken, because here's the reality, y'all. Every time we love, there is a risk of our

1323
01:29:00.560 --> 01:29:06.720
heart being broken, even friends. But you know what? We can experience a really beautiful gift

1324
01:29:06.720 --> 01:29:11.720
on the other side of that pain, and it's an infilling of fresh love, and it's an infilling

1325
01:29:11.900 --> 01:29:19.320
of healing, and God tending to us as our good shepherd. And so you don't have to be afraid

1326
01:29:19.320 --> 01:29:25.520
of that gift that's on the inside of you. And you can start to ask God to, I really want to encourage you.

1327
01:29:27.620 --> 01:29:32.680
I'm just sensing that when you were little, that you, like, were really hard on yourself

1328
01:29:32.680 --> 01:29:38.660
because of how that turned out when that person in the nursing home passed away, and you were

1329
01:29:38.660 --> 01:29:44.920
struggling to cope with that. And so I feel like maybe part of forgiving tonight is you forgiving

1330
01:29:45.060 --> 01:29:52.800
yourself for feeling so deeply, because it's not a curse, Crystal. It's a blessing.

1331
01:29:55.040 --> 01:29:59.980
And I realize that, I mean, you know, like, the reason I think that, you know, like, everybody

1332
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.700
you know, has their own opinion of Pastor Joel Osteen. But, you know, like, there's one thing

1333
01:30:05.660 --> 01:30:10.400
that, you know, when that woman went in and shot in his church a couple of years ago,

1334
01:30:10.700 --> 01:30:18.480
and he got up on the Sunday after, you know, and he wept for her, praying for her. I was like,

1335
01:30:18.700 --> 01:30:23.360
that's like, and when I met his mom, you know, she was like, you know, that's the one thing

1336
01:30:23.360 --> 01:30:28.600
about him is like, he has this, this deep, like, this compassion towards everybody,

1337
01:30:28.600 --> 01:30:34.000
no matter what they do to him. Yeah, like, but that's a hard, you know, like,

1338
01:30:34.240 --> 01:30:38.660
I don't know, I guess it's a hard gift. It is a hard gift. Sometimes, you know,

1339
01:30:38.660 --> 01:30:42.040
it's interesting that I'm talking to you about this tonight. I don't know if you've ever heard

1340
01:30:42.040 --> 01:30:49.780
me say this, but I feel like God has given me a great capacity to love people. And sometimes

1341
01:30:49.940 --> 01:30:54.240
loving deeply is hard, because it doesn't always turn out the way that we want it to.

1342
01:30:54.800 --> 01:31:00.580
But you all, I don't regret, even my spiritual daughter's dad, even my ex-husband and people

1343
01:31:00.580 --> 01:31:07.840
that have mistreated me, I don't regret loving them. I don't. It taught me so much,

1344
01:31:07.960 --> 01:31:13.340
even when they did not know how to handle or, or appreciate my love for them.

1345
01:31:14.220 --> 01:31:22.020
There's a song that I walked down the aisle to, to Brian. It's from the Marry Me. It's called

1346
01:31:22.020 --> 01:31:27.120
On My Way. Jennifer Lopez sings it. Y'all will have to check it out. But it's basically like,

1347
01:31:27.800 --> 01:31:34.060
it's basically summing up that, like, every hardship I went through, I was on my way to

1348
01:31:34.060 --> 01:31:39.920
him. I was on my way to Brian. And I don't think it was God's intention for me to go through all

1349
01:31:39.920 --> 01:31:46.040
those things. But because I did, and I allowed God to heal me and help me forgive those people,

1350
01:31:46.040 --> 01:31:52.880
help me forgive myself. I have been able to receive the love of this incredible man on a,

1351
01:31:52.880 --> 01:31:59.160
on a, on a really important level that I've never been able to receive love before and acceptance

1352
01:32:00.620 --> 01:32:07.760
and, you know, silliness and all of the things that come with love. And so I just want you to

1353
01:32:07.760 --> 01:32:11.800
know, like what you've experienced in the past doesn't mean that's how you're going to always

1354
01:32:11.800 --> 01:32:17.180
experience that deep gift of love. I think God wants to teach you some new things about that

1355
01:32:17.180 --> 01:32:24.440
in the days ahead. It's kind of learning how to wield a sword, if you will. You know, I don't

1356
01:32:24.440 --> 01:32:28.100
know if I'm just making this up, but this is the idea that's coming to mind. But, you know,

1357
01:32:28.100 --> 01:32:33.540
when people first start learning how to wield a sword, they, I imagine they have smaller swords

1358
01:32:33.540 --> 01:32:38.620
and they are learning on that level. And then I would think with their skill that maybe they get

1359
01:32:38.620 --> 01:32:44.140
bigger sword and it's, it's no different. Like we have to learn how to wield the sword of the

1360
01:32:44.140 --> 01:32:50.260
spirit. We have to learn how to walk in our gifts and the abilities that God has given us. And one

1361
01:32:50.260 --> 01:32:57.100
of yours is the gift of probably mercy. That's partnering with the love there. And so I hope,

1362
01:32:57.100 --> 01:33:04.420
you know, to just see that this leads you into greater levels and capacities to attach versus

1363
01:33:04.420 --> 01:33:10.680
detach. So you're going to come out of agreement with the lie that I always struggle. And not that

1364
01:33:10.680 --> 01:33:15.280
you say this, but I just want you to kind of write it this way. I come out of agreement with the lie

1365
01:33:15.280 --> 01:33:22.480
that I am detached from people or I always detach and I can't grow close to someone. And I come into

1366
01:33:22.480 --> 01:33:30.980
agreement with the lie that I am capable of loving and receiving love. I am capable of connecting

1367
01:33:31.540 --> 01:33:36.800
and attaching in healthy ways where you just start to say that stuff and partner again with

1368
01:33:36.800 --> 01:33:41.180
those positive declarations over yourself and who you are and what you represent.

1369
01:33:42.940 --> 01:33:49.140
Yeah. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. I know that it's a, even that is a gift and God

1370
01:33:49.140 --> 01:33:55.100
is going to give you back a hundred fold for what you just poured out in front of all of us.

1371
01:33:55.100 --> 01:34:01.500
So thank you. God is good. You all, Gail, go ahead. And I know we're at nine 30. So if y'all

1372
01:34:01.500 --> 01:34:07.760
have to jump off, I totally understand. I am going to take Gail and Katie and shoot. I know your name.

1373
01:34:07.840 --> 01:34:14.800
I know your name. It's going to come to me. I see one more up there. Shana, right? Did I get it right?

1374
01:34:15.140 --> 01:34:21.760
Shana. Shana's number three. So Gail go right now. I think I got it right. Took me a second.

1375
01:34:21.760 --> 01:34:35.180
Gail, go ahead. Bethany, this year has been, I really have felt that alone type of feeling like

1376
01:34:35.920 --> 01:34:46.540
I truly have the gift that I can believe for everyone else. But

1377
01:34:46.540 --> 01:34:59.980
I really don't believe like I have so much unbelief in my heart that it will happen for me.

1378
01:35:03.280 --> 01:35:11.640
And a couple things came up, you confirmed it tonight when you said that you sent your

1379
01:35:11.640 --> 01:35:19.180
mom a gift and I was like, oh, drat, I'm supposed to do that with my three daughters.

1380
01:35:19.180 --> 01:35:30.220
So as you're saying it, I ordered the bracelets that I was supposed to do that a week ago.

1381
01:35:30.440 --> 01:35:31.900
God told me to do that.

1382
01:35:32.040 --> 01:35:36.240
I know he did and I struggled with it.

1383
01:35:38.100 --> 01:35:40.140
So you confirmed that, thank you.

1384
01:35:41.140 --> 01:35:57.120
Um, I think also when I was spotlighted, like little things came up in my, um, like, for

1385
01:35:57.120 --> 01:36:05.300
instance, uh, uh, Renee asked, what's your biggest failure, but God, God brought you

1386
01:36:05.300 --> 01:36:05.760
through.

1387
01:36:06.880 --> 01:36:14.380
Like I sugarcoated it because that was my biggest redemption story.

1388
01:36:15.580 --> 01:36:27.880
Like God brought beauty from ashes because when I was 17, I did quit school.

1389
01:36:28.180 --> 01:36:31.460
I did get involved in an occult group.

1390
01:36:32.020 --> 01:36:34.920
I was a glorified prostitute.

1391
01:36:35.840 --> 01:36:36.620
I got out.

1392
01:36:36.780 --> 01:36:44.300
He brought me out of that and redeemed that part of my story.

1393
01:36:44.460 --> 01:36:54.760
But then it's like I picked the wrong person cause I wanted to fill and I know what I was

1394
01:36:54.760 --> 01:36:55.240
doing.

1395
01:36:56.040 --> 01:36:56.520
Yeah.

1396
01:36:56.520 --> 01:36:58.380
I saw the flags.

1397
01:36:59.260 --> 01:37:00.980
I wanted to be loved.

1398
01:37:02.700 --> 01:37:09.800
I don't know how I don't, I don't know.

1399
01:37:10.360 --> 01:37:11.420
So, okay.

1400
01:37:11.420 --> 01:37:13.020
Let's, let's pause here for a sec.

1401
01:37:14.620 --> 01:37:18.700
This is a good example of like, ladies and gentlemen, giving grace to yourselves.

1402
01:37:18.700 --> 01:37:22.800
Cause one of the things I hear her saying, she's talking about when that question was

1403
01:37:22.800 --> 01:37:25.140
asked during a spotlight, okay.

1404
01:37:25.140 --> 01:37:28.980
Spotlights, as you know, when we do them in this community, it's kind of more of an upbeat,

1405
01:37:29.520 --> 01:37:36.700
it's more of a like, um, let's equate it to level one dating or maybe slightly stepping

1406
01:37:36.700 --> 01:37:37.460
into level two.

1407
01:37:37.560 --> 01:37:38.220
You're getting to know people.

1408
01:37:38.380 --> 01:37:40.220
So you're sharing lighthearted things.

1409
01:37:40.340 --> 01:37:40.780
Okay.

1410
01:37:41.240 --> 01:37:45.880
So she's asked a question, biggest failure that God brought you through.

1411
01:37:46.240 --> 01:37:48.740
And she said, I sugarcoated it.

1412
01:37:49.580 --> 01:37:55.660
And I can even hear as you're saying that to us scale that you feel some kind of guilt

1413
01:37:56.000 --> 01:37:57.720
about what you shared that night.

1414
01:37:57.740 --> 01:38:00.860
And I don't think you should, because here's the reality.

1415
01:38:00.860 --> 01:38:09.620
If you were on a first date and someone asked you a question like that, hopefully from the

1416
01:38:09.620 --> 01:38:17.140
coaching in this community, you would not answer and say, you know, the depth of what

1417
01:38:17.140 --> 01:38:22.080
you've been through, you might touch, you know, you're calling it sugarcoating, but

1418
01:38:22.080 --> 01:38:23.880
you might share at a very high level.

1419
01:38:23.960 --> 01:38:28.260
I went through something really hard when I was 17, you know, when I get to know you

1420
01:38:28.260 --> 01:38:32.500
better now, obviously in the spotlight, you might not be able to say that, but like, you're

1421
01:38:32.500 --> 01:38:38.840
going to save that deeper stuff or a deeper, deeper time and a place in the relationship

1422
01:38:38.840 --> 01:38:40.500
where it can sustain it.

1423
01:38:40.560 --> 01:38:45.700
So on the, on the spotlight, I can see where that would be a little bit tricky for someone,

1424
01:38:45.700 --> 01:38:50.980
you know, like myself or like you, where we've gone through these really hard things, but

1425
01:38:50.980 --> 01:38:53.840
it's okay for us when we hear biggest failure.

1426
01:38:54.960 --> 01:38:59.280
I don't always have to share, like, for example, I'm going to share something that I don't

1427
01:38:59.280 --> 01:39:01.400
always share that I was raped in college.

1428
01:39:01.440 --> 01:39:08.980
I don't have to, I don't have to say that as my answer because I went through other

1429
01:39:09.280 --> 01:39:10.200
big failures.

1430
01:39:11.240 --> 01:39:15.940
I wish I had gotten counseling for myself when I was married before.

1431
01:39:16.180 --> 01:39:19.440
I wish I wouldn't have waited for my ex-husband to get counseling.

1432
01:39:19.620 --> 01:39:22.880
That was, I feel like a big failure for me.

1433
01:39:24.800 --> 01:39:29.020
So, you know, again, like I want you to extend grace towards yourself.

1434
01:39:29.240 --> 01:39:35.420
That's why I brought that up and really release yourself from what I'm hearing in the

1435
01:39:35.420 --> 01:39:39.780
spirit. You know, we do this woulda, coulda, shoulda, woulda, coulda, shoulda.

1436
01:39:39.780 --> 01:39:40.860
I should have done this.

1437
01:39:41.480 --> 01:39:44.380
I, you know, if I would have done this, then this would have happened.

1438
01:39:44.780 --> 01:39:45.920
Maybe I should have done this.

1439
01:39:45.980 --> 01:39:53.320
And I feel like it's just this kind of like a wicked web that the enemy kind of weaves.

1440
01:39:53.360 --> 01:39:59.060
And he wants to get us stuck in it where we keep rehearsing and rehearsing what we

1441
01:39:59.060 --> 01:39:59.840
should have said.

1442
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.560
And again, if I would have said this, maybe they would have thought that maybe somebody

1443
01:40:04.560 --> 01:40:07.000
would have reached out to me from the single spotlight.

1444
01:40:07.080 --> 01:40:13.540
I don't know what the things you've been struggling with have been, but I want you to know that

1445
01:40:13.940 --> 01:40:20.060
it is okay that you gave an answer that did not reveal that part of your life that night.

1446
01:40:22.080 --> 01:40:28.600
So that you can just be free and really see that God is continuing to heal and mend and

1447
01:40:28.640 --> 01:40:34.320
restore the area where you're struggling to believe for yourself.

1448
01:40:37.000 --> 01:40:42.940
I think it just really goes back to again, the value thing I was talking about earlier

1449
01:40:43.860 --> 01:40:53.100
and really understanding that you are valuable to your spirit mate and that you are valuable

1450
01:40:53.100 --> 01:40:58.540
to God and that God, again, like I started tonight out, let me go to my notes.

1451
01:40:58.540 --> 01:41:00.180
So I don't say it the wrong way.

1452
01:41:00.760 --> 01:41:06.380
The blocks we experience are not God being unwilling to give it to you, Gail.

1453
01:41:08.140 --> 01:41:12.960
It's often rooted in our capacity to receive and remember in order to have the capacity

1454
01:41:12.960 --> 01:41:17.600
to receive is having the capacity to perceive it for ourselves.

1455
01:41:18.340 --> 01:41:25.500
So since that's what you're struggling with, I would encourage you to ask the Lord, what

1456
01:41:25.500 --> 01:41:27.080
is the mindset shift?

1457
01:41:27.080 --> 01:41:31.260
Remember our minds and our hearts are connected, so they're one.

1458
01:41:32.840 --> 01:41:40.580
So what is the mindset shift that needs to happen to help you actually deep down in your

1459
01:41:40.840 --> 01:41:46.060
spirit perceive that it's possible for you personally?

1460
01:41:47.500 --> 01:41:49.980
Maybe it's writing yourself a love note.

1461
01:41:49.980 --> 01:41:57.780
Maybe it's doing a lot of really kind things for yourself in this season and owning that

1462
01:41:57.780 --> 01:42:02.780
you are worth the kind acts that you're doing towards yourself.

1463
01:42:03.240 --> 01:42:08.180
Because so often if we are not willing to love ourselves and be kind to ourselves, so

1464
01:42:08.180 --> 01:42:10.960
often we're not going to let other people do those things for us either.

1465
01:42:17.140 --> 01:42:19.280
Sorry, it's a little hard for me to hear you.

1466
01:42:19.280 --> 01:42:21.760
So can you like come a little closer to you?

1467
01:42:21.840 --> 01:42:31.000
Yeah, I think I'm trying to process it all because, you know, I worked in a field that

1468
01:42:31.000 --> 01:42:42.240
because I was a scrub tech that we put up so many walls and so we didn't feel.

1469
01:42:43.120 --> 01:42:54.260
So like between that, I'm trying to process that, learn how to feel again, and then all

1470
01:42:54.260 --> 01:43:09.240
this past, this Christmas, the past like really surfaced, like how, like I felt used and will

1471
01:43:09.240 --> 01:43:15.760
a man really love and see my heart and not my body?

1472
01:43:17.960 --> 01:43:23.940
Yeah, what I just felt like I was highlighting when you were saying that is like, I want

1473
01:43:23.940 --> 01:43:25.540
you, you're an amazing artist.

1474
01:43:25.660 --> 01:43:29.360
And so one of the things I would love for you to do is actually draw a picture of yourself

1475
01:43:29.360 --> 01:43:30.380
in this first one.

1476
01:43:30.380 --> 01:43:31.660
Don't spend a lot of time on it.

1477
01:43:31.660 --> 01:43:32.800
It's just a simple silhouette.

1478
01:43:33.080 --> 01:43:37.960
And I want you to put kind of like if you imagine a patch and this is not where we're

1479
01:43:38.180 --> 01:43:40.100
going to stay, but I'm going to have you do something with us.

1480
01:43:40.100 --> 01:43:44.640
You know, like back in the day, I said I felt like I was walking around with this

1481
01:43:44.860 --> 01:43:48.380
divorced, like this label that was condemning me.

1482
01:43:48.260 --> 01:43:50.940
Right. But I want you to write used.

1483
01:43:51.740 --> 01:43:56.660
And then what I want you to do is I want you to X a big black X over that thing, because

1484
01:43:56.660 --> 01:43:58.040
that is not who you are.

1485
01:43:58.040 --> 01:43:59.400
Yes, Shawnee, a scarlet letter.

1486
01:43:59.580 --> 01:44:03.940
And then I want you to draw another picture of yourself that you spend more time on, that

1487
01:44:03.940 --> 01:44:08.080
you really put some love and care into, maybe even color that.

1488
01:44:08.460 --> 01:44:11.940
And then I want you to put a different label over your head above that one.

1489
01:44:11.940 --> 01:44:14.420
But I want you to get that label from the Lord.

1490
01:44:16.420 --> 01:44:21.880
So remember, revealing for healing the cycle, you're going to process all the way

1491
01:44:21.880 --> 01:44:26.980
through to the truth, so the truth to replace the lie that you are going to be used, that

1492
01:44:26.980 --> 01:44:27.820
you are used.

1493
01:44:28.860 --> 01:44:31.500
So what is God saying about your identity?

1494
01:44:31.580 --> 01:44:32.760
That isn't what he's saying.

1495
01:44:32.760 --> 01:44:38.220
So leaning into what does he say about you and then partnering with that and

1496
01:44:38.220 --> 01:44:43.320
activating it, I think is, again, remember that sometimes it's a lot of little baby

1497
01:44:43.320 --> 01:44:45.720
steps that get us to the breakthrough for some people.

1498
01:44:45.760 --> 01:44:50.440
Other people, it's these big, massive swings and they're like getting breakthrough

1499
01:44:50.440 --> 01:44:51.320
like immediately.

1500
01:44:51.600 --> 01:44:53.320
Both are equally important.

1501
01:44:54.700 --> 01:44:59.380
Both are equally important, because every step of healing that you're experiencing,

1502
01:44:59.520 --> 01:44:59.980
you're learning.

1503
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:07.160
something really important about yourself, about other people, about God himself. And so keep

1504
01:45:07.160 --> 01:45:15.060
going. We are praying for you and believing with you and cheering you on. I would love to see you

1505
01:45:15.060 --> 01:45:19.680
post that activation, preferably in the Facebook group. I tend to see those quicker. You all,

1506
01:45:20.060 --> 01:45:29.980
then I see the app group, but if you're willing, if you feel comfortable to, to post that in the

1507
01:45:29.980 --> 01:45:36.100
under that old lie that you are used and you're always going to be used into the truth of who

1508
01:45:36.100 --> 01:45:42.700
God is saying that you are in the days to come. Okay. Okay. Awesome. We're cheering you on. I

1509
01:45:42.700 --> 01:45:50.060
love you so much. Thank you. Katie, go ahead. I was laughing earlier because you were talking

1510
01:45:50.060 --> 01:45:54.980
about the clutter and I have purged my house. If we don't have a couch right now, we have beanbag

1511
01:45:54.980 --> 01:45:59.940
that's kind of laughing, but that's not what I wanted to talk about. I thought it was funny, but

1512
01:46:00.620 --> 01:46:06.860
so a couple of weeks ago I was really struggling on the online dating. I had Facebook date and a

1513
01:46:06.860 --> 01:46:11.720
couple of other platforms, but they were all the time was kind of running up, running out on them.

1514
01:46:12.440 --> 01:46:17.880
And I don't give out my phone number, but I had quite a few guys on Snapchat and I was really,

1515
01:46:18.400 --> 01:46:22.760
it was the most attention I had gotten out of the last probably six months.

1516
01:46:23.640 --> 01:46:30.780
Um, there were quite a few different guys that I actually had an attraction to and had that,

1517
01:46:31.400 --> 01:46:36.400
oh, okay, well they're godly men and they speak of God and, and not necessarily an action because

1518
01:46:36.400 --> 01:46:42.140
I hadn't met like most of them. But, um, anyway, I was just kind of struggling because it was a lot.

1519
01:46:42.200 --> 01:46:47.300
And so I prayed and I, I just asked God, you know, this is not of you, please remove it.

1520
01:46:47.880 --> 01:46:54.840
No joke. Two days later, my Snapchat like went silent. Guys that I had talked to every single

1521
01:46:54.840 --> 01:46:59.220
day just either didn't even open those Snapchats or they open them and just don't respond.

1522
01:46:59.580 --> 01:47:05.860
And then I got kicked off a Facebook date. I can't get anybody at Facebook to reply to me.

1523
01:47:05.920 --> 01:47:13.160
I've never said like a cuss word. I've never made a sexual innuendo. I mean, I've had people say it

1524
01:47:13.160 --> 01:47:18.340
to me and I just kind of unmatch and go on. Like I don't even report people. So I kind of felt like

1525
01:47:18.340 --> 01:47:24.500
that was a very hard stop from God. Like saying, okay, yeah, you're done with this now. Not forever,

1526
01:47:24.740 --> 01:47:31.300
but in this kind of season. So I've taken this time to really reflect and clean, like, clean out

1527
01:47:31.300 --> 01:47:36.840
my house. Like I said, I'm getting rid of a bunch of stuff and just really concentrate on my

1528
01:47:36.840 --> 01:47:44.100
relationship with God, but I'm not getting any like neon flashing signs of like, Hey, this is

1529
01:47:44.100 --> 01:47:48.080
something you should be working on or this is something you should be digging into. Or this

1530
01:47:48.080 --> 01:47:52.040
is a forgiveness prayer you should be working on or anything like that. So I guess I'm just,

1531
01:47:52.560 --> 01:47:57.580
I don't know if I should just kind of be baking in this season or what I should be doing. So if

1532
01:47:57.580 --> 01:48:03.780
you have any suggestions, I'm all ears. I have a question for you. Okay. So are you typically

1533
01:48:03.780 --> 01:48:11.640
someone that you kind of always have to have something to be working on regarding yourself?

1534
01:48:12.200 --> 01:48:19.500
Oh yeah. Okay. Well, that's why you don't have any neon flashing signs right now. Just FYI,

1535
01:48:20.380 --> 01:48:26.320
because I do think that when you said that, I feel like God is saying to just rest,

1536
01:48:27.660 --> 01:48:34.140
to just rest and enjoy kind of the bliss of this season. And again, I know you all, when I say that,

1537
01:48:34.140 --> 01:48:38.560
I'm not saying it's easy because when we're, we want to be with our spirit mate and we have all

1538
01:48:38.560 --> 01:48:45.200
these desires, you know, yeah, it can be a little tricky, but I feel like there's like, I keep

1539
01:48:45.200 --> 01:48:50.400
hearing the word bliss. Like God is, he wants you to experience kind of like Christmas in a fresh

1540
01:48:50.400 --> 01:48:58.400
way this year where there's just something new that you understand that bliss of like,

1541
01:48:59.620 --> 01:49:05.500
like Jesus came for you, like he came for everyone, but he came like, what does that mean for you,

1542
01:49:05.620 --> 01:49:12.120
Katie, without you doing anything like slowing down and just doing nothing for a little bit,

1543
01:49:13.140 --> 01:49:16.320
like you don't have to perform for him. You don't have to,

1544
01:49:17.040 --> 01:49:21.680
felt the Holy spirit. Maybe that's why the whole apps shut down. Like you don't have to

1545
01:49:22.200 --> 01:49:29.320
strive for your spirit mate. You don't, you get to partner with God. And I love that you had that

1546
01:49:29.320 --> 01:49:34.100
flurry of activity because I think it actually kind of encouraged you and gave you kind of some

1547
01:49:34.100 --> 01:49:41.660
confidence boosters that I think you probably were helpful to you. But God is, is, is wanting you to

1548
01:49:41.660 --> 01:49:50.580
that he can, he can lead your spirit mate to you. Like, like that he really can. And an understanding

1549
01:49:50.580 --> 01:49:55.920
that you don't have to perform, you don't have to keep working really hard on yourself. You just

1550
01:49:55.920 --> 01:49:59.980
get to kind of receive right now and whatever that looks like.

1551
01:50:00.960 --> 01:50:05.960
I think it will mean something different to you, maybe even every day, maybe every week.

1552
01:50:06.540 --> 01:50:10.920
That it's almost like, you know, the little advent calendars where,

1553
01:50:11.780 --> 01:50:16.480
or yeah, where they open, you open a little door once a day, or sometimes there's the ones,

1554
01:50:16.520 --> 01:50:20.800
there's, it's actually a house and inside every little door, there's like a little gift that you

1555
01:50:20.800 --> 01:50:25.000
open up or whatever. That's kind of what I'm imagining in the spirit. It's like kind of

1556
01:50:25.000 --> 01:50:30.920
every day God wants to just, he wants you to open the door with like this, like, God,

1557
01:50:30.980 --> 01:50:35.380
what do you want to show me today? What do you want me to experience about you today?

1558
01:50:35.380 --> 01:50:42.760
And he wants to just show you something new. And I think it's almost about you being invited

1559
01:50:44.400 --> 01:50:50.040
into a new season regarding how you pursue him and how you pursue like,

1560
01:50:51.640 --> 01:50:56.160
like things about yourself like this. It's not that you're going to stop doing the hard work

1561
01:50:56.160 --> 01:51:01.640
or that you're going to stop partnering with him and things. But I just feel like it's about

1562
01:51:01.640 --> 01:51:08.800
shifting out of working hard and always having to like, feel like you have to be doing something

1563
01:51:08.920 --> 01:51:14.300
to be okay. Does that resonate for you? Yeah, it does. So my spiritual mentor,

1564
01:51:14.360 --> 01:51:17.980
and I actually had a conversation very similar the other day because she said,

1565
01:51:17.980 --> 01:51:23.300
she's like, God keeps putting you on my heart. And she said, I think you're supposed to rest.

1566
01:51:23.560 --> 01:51:29.020
Like you're focusing on, you know, healing and doing all these things and putting yourself out

1567
01:51:29.020 --> 01:51:33.480
there. And I've changed, you know, places that I go so that I expose myself to different people.

1568
01:51:33.620 --> 01:51:37.560
And just, I've kind of changed so many things. And she said, you know, you've prayed for this

1569
01:51:37.560 --> 01:51:44.120
season of your life for so long, and now you're finally here and you just need to like, hang out

1570
01:51:44.120 --> 01:51:49.980
with God and just seek him. And so that's absolute confirmation. And here's the reality of this,

1571
01:51:50.220 --> 01:51:55.080
Katie, is what she's also saying there is part of what I've been talking about tonight.

1572
01:51:56.520 --> 01:52:05.000
You've been perceiving some things, and now you get to just receive them. Like you get to bask in

1573
01:52:05.000 --> 01:52:09.220
it. I think you kind of started saying something like that. It's like baking in it, marinating in

1574
01:52:09.780 --> 01:52:14.280
Yeah, that is, that is absolutely, I totally believe that that's that is the season that

1575
01:52:14.280 --> 01:52:19.340
you're in right now. Thank you. You're welcome. Great question. Really, really appreciate you

1576
01:52:19.400 --> 01:52:29.720
sharing. All right, Shauna, go ahead. That is so crazy. I was doing the same thing.

1577
01:52:30.340 --> 01:52:36.860
I've just been exactly like her. What do I do? What do I work on? What do I need to fix? What

1578
01:52:36.860 --> 01:52:44.220
do I need to, you know, go back over? All those things as well. But I was gonna say,

1579
01:52:45.940 --> 01:52:54.780
I'm sorry. This, this Thanksgiving, I was gonna give a praise. My son is 36 years old.

1580
01:52:57.980 --> 01:53:00.760
I'm sorry. Right, you don't have to apologize.

1581
01:53:02.200 --> 01:53:11.160
And he was born very premature. And he has a lot of mental issues. But it's really hard for the

1582
01:53:11.820 --> 01:53:16.880
holidays. Because he's very, he likes to like stand like right over me and just be all, you

1583
01:53:16.880 --> 01:53:21.960
know, and I told him, I said, Bob, I love you. And I'm going to spend time with you. But I need you

1584
01:53:21.960 --> 01:53:26.600
to go sit down over there for a little bit. And while I'm, you know, finishing putting my face on

1585
01:53:26.600 --> 01:53:32.520
whatever, but I mean, just I y'all talk about the boundaries. And that is really, I actually

1586
01:53:33.900 --> 01:53:38.880
use those that actually had a really, you know, and just would be like, okay, well, not today,

1587
01:53:38.880 --> 01:53:45.440
or just talk to him really, it the boundaries thing has really helped a lot. And then also with

1588
01:53:45.440 --> 01:53:49.260
my mother, I know I made a joke in the comment about my mom and your mom being sisters.

1589
01:53:52.180 --> 01:53:58.980
But she, she's, she's hard sometimes, too. So to put her and him and everybody, yes,

1590
01:53:58.980 --> 01:54:05.020
the personalities, but we actually for the first time, thank you, God had a decent or I don't mean

1591
01:54:05.020 --> 01:54:09.840
we get together and fuss and fight or anything like that. But the personalities are very stretched.

1592
01:54:10.000 --> 01:54:15.860
So we actually, you know, we took little breaks, you know, and kind of, but we actually did really

1593
01:54:15.860 --> 01:54:22.220
good this year. I was very proud. But I have been, I've talked to a few guys, I may I think

1594
01:54:22.220 --> 01:54:28.280
I've met one or two, but I just don't get past. I haven't been getting past the first

1595
01:54:29.880 --> 01:54:36.920
visit. I don't know if I need to go back through this stuff yet. Yes, I am trying. I've been like

1596
01:54:36.920 --> 01:54:43.460
Gail too, of lately, we've been fighting with it. But I don't know if it's my location of being way

1597
01:54:43.460 --> 01:54:52.320
out. Hundreds of miles away from everyone. It's probably part of it. But I don't know.

1598
01:54:52.520 --> 01:54:57.340
Also, what you're talking about, Shauna is really important. It's really the

1599
01:54:57.340 --> 01:54:59.980
crux of my message tonight, if you think about it.

1600
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:05.680
The boundaries that you are learning to set with your family are so important to your

1601
01:55:06.300 --> 01:55:12.060
healing process and the way, like even hearing you tonight, I hope that you recognize how

1602
01:55:12.060 --> 01:55:12.740
much you've grown.

1603
01:55:13.400 --> 01:55:15.560
I feel like you're a different person tonight.

1604
01:55:17.220 --> 01:55:17.900
That's funny.

1605
01:55:17.940 --> 01:55:18.380
You said that.

1606
01:55:18.540 --> 01:55:24.520
I just went to a, um, I went to a lady, uh, Lisa Schwartz.

1607
01:55:24.600 --> 01:55:29.660
I don't know if anybody knows her, she's a prophetic lady, but she, I went to her thing

1608
01:55:29.660 --> 01:55:34.240
last April and I just went to her service a few months ago and she goes, I've met you

1609
01:55:34.240 --> 01:55:34.660
before.

1610
01:55:34.860 --> 01:55:35.880
Haven't I?

1611
01:55:35.920 --> 01:55:36.560
Haven't I met?

1612
01:55:36.940 --> 01:55:38.660
Oh my gosh, you, you were different.

1613
01:55:39.100 --> 01:55:40.920
It was just funny.

1614
01:55:40.920 --> 01:55:41.160
Yeah.

1615
01:55:41.200 --> 01:55:46.040
I, you know, I've coached you as you know, before, not only on sessions like this, but

1616
01:55:46.040 --> 01:55:50.700
like one-on-one and I can tell you that I hear a different woman tonight.

1617
01:55:50.700 --> 01:55:53.500
I you're setting healthy boundaries with your son.

1618
01:55:53.500 --> 01:55:56.080
You're setting healthy boundaries with your mom.

1619
01:55:56.120 --> 01:55:57.960
You're like, Hey, we're, we're together.

1620
01:55:57.960 --> 01:56:00.640
It's not perfect, but we're taking breaks when we need it.

1621
01:56:00.860 --> 01:56:07.840
And like, I just am saying to you, like that is not things you were saying a year ago or

1622
01:56:07.840 --> 01:56:08.180
whatever.

1623
01:56:08.360 --> 01:56:11.440
So I want you to take some time to celebrate your growth.

1624
01:56:11.800 --> 01:56:16.940
And instead of like working on our, or asking God, what should I work on next?

1625
01:56:16.940 --> 01:56:21.640
I want you just to start like keeping track of your wins, because I think that that's

1626
01:56:21.640 --> 01:56:25.760
going to continue to build your confidence and, and the direction that you're going.

1627
01:56:26.660 --> 01:56:31.500
But tonight, like the core of the message is like, you know, forgiveness and us walking

1628
01:56:31.500 --> 01:56:36.620
and healing how a lot of times that is going to unlock things in other areas of our life.

1629
01:56:36.620 --> 01:56:41.680
And so I believe that the more that you walk out this healing in your family relationships

1630
01:56:41.680 --> 01:56:46.740
and even grow in your confidence and things that, you know, we've been talking about it

1631
01:56:46.740 --> 01:56:49.220
is going to, it's going to change things for you.

1632
01:56:49.420 --> 01:56:51.420
And I do want to encourage you.

1633
01:56:51.420 --> 01:56:56.400
And I don't know if I told you this story before, but when I was in the bootcamp, the,

1634
01:56:56.480 --> 01:57:01.800
what we now call the heartwork, there was a woman, her name was Tarsh.

1635
01:57:02.160 --> 01:57:03.800
I think that's how you say it.

1636
01:57:04.220 --> 01:57:08.360
She was from Australia and I think it was birth.

1637
01:57:08.940 --> 01:57:15.020
I might be wrong, but she was from a very, like a place in Australia where there's not

1638
01:57:15.020 --> 01:57:15.720
a lot of people.

1639
01:57:16.500 --> 01:57:21.760
And I remember like, she kept saying, like, I don't think I'm ever going to meet anybody.

1640
01:57:21.960 --> 01:57:30.420
Like I know everybody here, like, you know and you all, she did meet someone and he is

1641
01:57:30.420 --> 01:57:31.440
amazing and they're married.

1642
01:57:32.940 --> 01:57:37.080
And so I don't actually remember how God brought them together.

1643
01:57:37.080 --> 01:57:38.980
So I'll try to find that out.

1644
01:57:39.020 --> 01:57:41.880
It's been a while since I heard their story, but that came to mind.

1645
01:57:41.880 --> 01:57:48.040
Like it, I thought of that for you tonight, that even if you are kind of far out away

1646
01:57:48.040 --> 01:57:50.900
from people, even it was Perth.

1647
01:57:50.960 --> 01:57:51.600
I said it wrong.

1648
01:57:51.640 --> 01:57:52.000
Perth.

1649
01:57:52.340 --> 01:57:54.040
Thank you, Aaron, Aaron Joy.

1650
01:57:55.440 --> 01:58:03.360
I want you to really partner with, like, sometimes it's just about us not seeing the

1651
01:58:03.360 --> 01:58:05.040
person or them seeing us.

1652
01:58:05.040 --> 01:58:08.500
And, and that is because there's things that need healed in us.

1653
01:58:08.500 --> 01:58:15.220
And like, when we step into that place, it's like, we, we become seen.

1654
01:58:15.360 --> 01:58:19.340
I don't know if any of you all on here, you can go ahead and put in the chat if you resonate

1655
01:58:19.340 --> 01:58:23.720
with this, but when I was going through the heart work and the healing process, it was

1656
01:58:23.720 --> 01:58:28.180
kind of like before that, I just felt like I would be out and about and no guys would

1657
01:58:28.180 --> 01:58:29.320
look at me at all.

1658
01:58:29.340 --> 01:58:33.020
Like, and I wasn't looking for unhealthy attention, but it was kind of like, I felt

1659
01:58:33.200 --> 01:58:35.720
invisible and it was really, really awkward and hard.

1660
01:58:36.240 --> 01:58:41.360
And then when I went through the heart work, it was kind of like, oh my gosh, like I would

1661
01:58:41.360 --> 01:58:44.640
notice like people noticing me, not even just men, but like women.

1662
01:58:44.640 --> 01:58:48.220
I finally, like, I was like, oh my gosh, I feel like something's different now.

1663
01:58:49.000 --> 01:58:51.300
And that's going to happen more and more for you.

1664
01:58:51.300 --> 01:58:57.340
The more that your confidence grows, the more value that you understand about yourself and

1665
01:58:57.340 --> 01:59:02.620
give yourself that gift of celebrating your wins, celebrating yourself and how far you

1666
01:59:02.620 --> 01:59:03.860
come, you have come.

1667
01:59:03.860 --> 01:59:07.460
I think it's going to continue to create this momentum in you.

1668
01:59:07.460 --> 01:59:09.220
That's going to change some other things.

1669
01:59:09.420 --> 01:59:11.860
And so I'm excited for you.

1670
01:59:12.760 --> 01:59:13.140
Thank you.

1671
01:59:13.500 --> 01:59:14.560
Thank you very much.

1672
01:59:14.740 --> 01:59:15.620
Yeah, you're welcome.

1673
01:59:15.960 --> 01:59:16.180
Ladies.

1674
01:59:16.280 --> 01:59:21.200
This is why it's so important and gentlemen, both to not give up on yourself and really

1675
01:59:21.200 --> 01:59:24.460
ask God to show you how he sees you on a regular basis.

1676
01:59:24.980 --> 01:59:26.580
We are at almost 10 o'clock.

1677
01:59:26.580 --> 01:59:28.120
I'm going to go ahead and close this down for tonight.

1678
01:59:28.260 --> 01:59:29.540
Thank you for everyone that shared.

1679
01:59:29.620 --> 01:59:32.340
It's been really awesome to be here with all of you tonight.

1680
01:59:32.900 --> 01:59:37.740
I feel honored to be in this season, to be a part of this community and to get an opportunity

1681
01:59:37.740 --> 01:59:38.680
to know you.

1682
01:59:39.200 --> 01:59:40.480
And so God loves you.

1683
01:59:40.500 --> 01:59:45.480
And I want you to hold on to that this season, and he's not going to fail you, okay?

1684
01:59:45.900 --> 01:59:53.100
His promise is sure, but sometimes the enemy will try to delay things.

1685
01:59:53.160 --> 01:59:56.320
And sometimes things in us that need healed, block it.

1686
01:59:56.640 --> 01:59:58.140
Remember, God is not unwilling.

1687
01:59:58.820 --> 01:59:59.840
Father, thank you so much.

1688
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:02.180
This night, I thank you for everything that you're doing,

1689
02:00:02.740 --> 02:00:04.100
God, in us, through us, God,

1690
02:00:04.120 --> 02:00:07.020
I thank you that you're increasing our capacity tonight

1691
02:00:08.080 --> 02:00:09.920
to perceive what you have for us,

1692
02:00:10.020 --> 02:00:11.740
to receive what you have for us, God,

1693
02:00:11.740 --> 02:00:14.200
that you are good father who gives good

1694
02:00:14.200 --> 02:00:15.760
and perfect gifts to your children.

1695
02:00:15.940 --> 02:00:17.580
I thank you that you would just guard

1696
02:00:17.580 --> 02:00:19.060
and keep watch over us, God.

1697
02:00:20.640 --> 02:00:23.660
Yeah, Lord, touch all of the hearts of those that are here,

1698
02:00:23.740 --> 02:00:24.860
those that are gonna watch the replay,

1699
02:00:24.980 --> 02:00:26.780
where there's loneliness, God.

1700
02:00:27.240 --> 02:00:29.040
Thank you that you would fill their cup

1701
02:00:29.040 --> 02:00:32.420
with the fullness of joy, with the fullness of their value,

1702
02:00:32.600 --> 02:00:34.620
that they would see themselves through your eyes, God,

1703
02:00:34.660 --> 02:00:36.280
that you would remove loneliness

1704
02:00:36.480 --> 02:00:40.080
and fill them with just people surrounding them

1705
02:00:40.080 --> 02:00:42.140
and them reaching out to other people.

1706
02:00:42.260 --> 02:00:45.700
And God, I pray that this would be the best season ever,

1707
02:00:46.080 --> 02:00:48.300
God, that we would come out of alignment of fear

1708
02:00:48.360 --> 02:00:50.020
and panic over this season,

1709
02:00:50.100 --> 02:00:51.820
but God, we would embrace this season

1710
02:00:51.820 --> 02:00:53.540
and that we would overcome it

1711
02:00:53.540 --> 02:00:56.860
and we would celebrate not only you in it,

1712
02:00:56.860 --> 02:01:00.160
but God, our ability to be who we are in this season.

1713
02:01:00.540 --> 02:01:03.200
And that isn't someone who's lacking something

1714
02:01:03.720 --> 02:01:04.820
because we're single.

1715
02:01:04.940 --> 02:01:08.300
God, we have something of value to offer right now,

1716
02:01:08.560 --> 02:01:11.060
right where we're at and even more so in the days to come.

1717
02:01:11.260 --> 02:01:13.260
I pray that you'll help us understand that

1718
02:01:13.260 --> 02:01:16.200
more and more and more in Jesus name, amen.

1719
02:01:16.400 --> 02:01:17.240
God bless you all.

1720
02:01:17.360 --> 02:01:18.600
Have a great night, everyone.

1721
02:01:18.880 --> 02:01:19.340
Bye-bye.

1722
02:01:19.440 --> 02:01:20.580
Thank you, bye.