Hey, everyone.
Happy I had to think about what day it is.
It's Tuesday.
Y'all, it's already felt like a full week in two days.
It's really amazing and fun to have a church and be a part of last year's single always,
but especially in the Christmas season, y'all, lots of fun things happening.
I'm so glad that you're here joining us tonight.
If you've never met me before, I'm Bethany Cooper.
I'm one of the master heartwork coaches here in the community and just on the executive
team and just honored always to be here with all of you.
I love seeing you.
And I hope tonight some of you that I feel like there's some that have wanted to ask
questions about heartwork, but you kind of just feel nervous to step forward and raise
your hand.
And so I just want to kind of set the tone right before we start tonight, that if that's
you that I'm praying for you, that you would have the courage to ask the questions that
you need to ask.
I know it can be a little intimidating sometimes, but what I do know is the times that I myself
have stepped forward and asked questions about this topic, you know, any area that I need
heart healing, whether that was here in our community or in the past through other outlets
and things like that, it is often the times that I've gotten the most breakthrough.
And so I want to encourage you all to go ahead and step into that.
If that applies to you, I'm going to go ahead and pray.
We are going to talk tonight about giving the gift of forgiveness and ways that unforgiveness
can block our love story.
So that's kind of our core content, but I'm super excited to activate you all a lot.
I want you to be very engaged tonight.
So prepare your heart for that as well.
I'm going to give you questions and I would love for you to respond in the chat.
I know sometimes our chat goes really fast.
So if I say one person's and I don't say yours, please know it is, please don't take that
personal.
Okay.
Sometimes I just can't read as fast as the teleprompter in a sense.
It's giving me your information.
Obviously it's not a teleprompter, but sometimes it feels like that.
Sometimes we're trying to read it so fast.
And so please still engage because again, it's not so much about whether I see what
you say and read it out.
It's more about you identifying these things for yourself and speaking them out, texting
them out, typing them out, whatever, because that's about you getting your breakthrough.
All right.
Father, thank you so much for this night.
God, I thank you that you sent your son so that we could have forgiveness, so that we
could be in relationship with you, God, so that we could be healed and delivered.
And God, that we would receive revelation and have a connection with you in heaven greater
than anything we could ever imagine.
Lord, I pray that even like the man with the withered hand, when Jesus entered the tomb,
you know, he's sitting there and he's kind of holding that hand, God, but you sent Jesus
to him and asked Jesus to say to him, stretch it out.
So Lord tonight, I pray that those that are here, that if there's any area where they
have struggled to forgive someone, even some of them where there might be things subconsciously
that they don't even remember that they don't forgive someone, because sometimes we're just
surviving and that stuff just gets pushed down.
God, I pray that you would help them to remember these things, that they would come to the
surface and God, that you would give them the grace and the courage and the endowment
of power from heaven, the same power that rose Jesus from the dead, that it's there,
it's available to them, that you, Holy Spirit, are here with us and you're going to help
us to stretch out our hands, so to speak, to you tonight, to extend the most vulnerable
places, God, and to see like literally how when we do, that movement can come back into
that limb, back into that place in our heart and that we would be just open, God, that
our hearts, our minds, our spirits would be open fully to you tonight to receive all that
you have for us and more and more and more in the days to come, that we would remember
most importantly, that you love us, God, and that nothing can separate us from your love.
In Jesus name, amen.
So as we start tonight, just a couple of things I want you all to be thinking about as we,
I know we hear forgiveness stuff a lot, being in the body of Christ, this is something that
gets talked about and especially being here in a community where core principles of what
we teach are rooted in heartwork and healing and forgiveness, repentance, confession, you
know, that cycle that we take you all through over and over again, but I hope that we don't
underestimate the power in forgiveness and that it doesn't become kind of like, oh yeah,
I've heard that before and I'm still stuck.
Every single day we have an opportunity for an upgrade.
And so I'm asking you just to kind of posture your heart in a place where no matter how
many times you've heard about forgiveness, that you believe, not just, not because of
me.
but that you believe that God tonight is going to meet you here and he's going to give you,
even if it's one nugget, he's going to give you something that you need to step further
into freedom tonight.
So we're talking about the most powerful gift you can ever give, not just to other people,
but to yourself and to your future love story.
I want you to understand again, imagining that every time we choose to forgive and we
choose to keep these short accounts, that it's impacting the things that are in our
future to come, that it is releasing.
It's like a divine exchange.
It's releasing things from heaven as we choose to do it.
Many of you have been praying for your spirit mate, but as Jackie and I were chatting, we
had something else planned and I just kept feeling like we needed to do hard work again.
And I almost was like, okay, is it just because I always want to do hard work, you know, Lord,
or is this really something that your spirit is saying that the group and the community
needs this month during December?
And Jackie and I landed on, she kind of came in Sunday night.
If you haven't heard that activation from Sunday night, I hope that you listen to that.
That's where she really initially activated this, giving the gift of forgiveness.
And then on the heels of that, I want to help you all unpack it a little bit more tonight.
And so what we believe is that some of you have been praying for your spirit mate, but
unforgiveness is potentially that thing that is keeping, it's actually blocking what God
wants to give you.
And here's what the important aspect is here.
The blocks that we experience are not God being unwilling to give us something.
It's often rooted in our capacity to receive the thing that he wants to give us.
I'm going to say that again.
The blocks that we experience are not because God is being unwilling to give us something.
It's often rooted in our capacity to receive a thing or not.
So we're going to talk first about the capacity connection factor and how important capacity is.
And I don't know if you guys, even the last couple months, I've kind of put capacity into the
to me personally over and over again.
Everything is about capacity.
And so why forgiveness unlocks our love story.
We need capacity to number one, perceive it.
Okay.
So that's the first step.
Do we have the capacity to perceive that God has a spirit mate for us?
And not just a fleeting thought because you're in this community and you hear it all the time,
but do you actually have the capacity in your mind to perceive,
to literally perceive yourself getting married,
to perceive yourself in the spirit realm encountering your spirit mate?
And this isn't to shame you if that's something you struggle with,
but I believe God wants to increase your faith tonight.
Because guess who is the capacity increaser?
It's the spirit.
It's the spirit that breathes life.
God literally created stuff out of nothing.
Do we think that he can't create the capacity within us to perceive a thing?
That's why the man said, I believe help my unbelief.
Why did he say that?
Well, he believed it, but yet he was struggling to perceive it.
Until we encounter something, sometimes it is,
it's still hard to believe that that thing can come to pass.
So if you're struggling to perceive it,
if you're struggling not just to imagine it in a fleeting moment,
but to literally have an encounter where in your soul, in your spirit,
you are envisioning, you are feeling that spirit mate on their way.
Long before I met Brian, I started feeling a ring on my finger.
I could sense it in the spirit.
Literally when I went on, and this was all the way back in 2021 in May,
the first retreat that Jackie, that I know of that she ever had,
I went on that in Austin.
It was the first Austin retreat we had.
And before I even went on that retreat, it had started happening.
Just random times.
I wouldn't even be thinking about my spirit mate.
And I would start to feel this weight on my, on my ring finger.
And I was like, what is that?
You know, and after talking to the Lord about it and talking in our group,
that's how I came to know like, oh,
it's because I'm feeling it in the spirit. I'm perceiving it.
Do y'all see that? Do you see that connection? Okay.
Then we need the capacity to receive it.
So we need the capacity to perceive it in our minds and then to literally
receive it in our hearts and in the physical realm.
Oh, God wants to give us all kinds of blessings,
including our spirit mate.
Obviously, y'all know I'm married already,
but I had to perceive it first.
God also gave me a dream.
Now, I didn't see my spirit mate in the dream, y'all, okay?
But all I knew was in my dream, when I woke up,
I knew that I had met my spirit mate
and I heard the Lord say, he's coming soon.
Now, God's soon isn't always the same as our soon.
Again, it's about what we perceive,
but I knew in my spirit that God was continuing
to encourage me, that my spirit mate was on his way.
And that gave me another level of capacity to receive it.
Unforgiveness creates blocks in our capacity
to both perceive and receive.
So if you're struggling to perceive it
or get prepared to receive it,
most likely somewhere within yourself,
there is unforgiveness.
There might be other blocks as well,
but unforgiveness tends to be one of the biggest things
that blocks people's love stories.
Our family of origin wounds often create
the deepest blocks to love.
Our family of origin wounds often create
the deepest blocks to love.
If you went through a really hard family of origin story,
one of the things I want to say to you
is that I have been too.
And I want you to know it's not impossible
to learn how to love in a healthy way.
It's not impossible to receive the blessings
that God has for you, but it starts first
with the perceiving, letting God change our minds
and healing our hearts so that we can not,
we can understand what he's going to do for us,
then receive it.
And so here's what I want you to put in the chat.
Here's activation number one.
Let me change my screen so I can see the stuff
y'all are putting in there pretty quick.
All right, what's one family pattern or wound
that you think might be blocking your capacity
to receive love?
I don't want you to overthink this.
I want you kind of as quick as it comes to you,
put it in the chat.
What's one family pattern or wound
that you think might be blocking your capacity
to receive love?
All right, I have some coming in here.
Always having to be right, divorce, to be honest.
Let's see, feels very foreign thought.
Okay, that's okay.
Rejection, rejection again, criticism,
being critical, judgmental spirit, lack of communication.
I don't think it's by coincidence.
I was actually thinking about critical things
right before I got on tonight
and there were three right in a row.
So I feel like that's a confirmation.
I might need to touch on that
even though it's not in my notes.
Lack of communication, abusive men, being critical.
There's rejection right in a row again, shame.
All right, you all, fear of being seen,
emotional and verbal abuse, feelings of inadequacy,
showing, excuse me, lack of showing affection.
All right, so I want you guys
to keep putting those in the chat.
Again, this is about you releasing that stuff
and understanding now tonight,
not only are you gonna put that in the chat,
but I hope you remember it because the family pattern,
the family core area is part of what God wants to go after
in you tonight and in the days ahead.
When I was praying, I ended with,
God help us to become more and more rooted
and grounded in your love.
I talk about this all the time.
The more that I perceived God's love for me,
the more I was able to receive his love for me.
The more I was able to perceive myself
as his beloved daughter, not an orphan,
not someone he kept at arm's length
and would maybe trickle a crumb down to me on occasion.
No, God was saying, you're my daughter,
like you get to come close.
Everything that is mine is yours.
And the more that I could perceive that,
the more I was able to receive it.
And it's literally helping me step further
into healthy relationships and dynamics.
Keeping healthier boundaries and all of the things.
It's like an organic ripple effect, if you will.
So I want you to take these things to the Lord this week
and just ask him, is there still a block
connected to my family of origin
that is causing me to not be able to receive your love?
And even sometimes we receive it,
but then something happens and it fleets away.
It's like fleeting, it's gone.
But the reality is, is when we actually
in the core of who we are in our identity,
we know that we are loved.
Nothing, it's literally scripture says
nothing can separate us from his love.
So even the rejection that we experience
does not separate us from his love.
not have to separate us from His love. It's whether or not we believe we're still connected
even when we make mistakes. All of those things. It comes into play. Here's a key quote for our
session tonight. This is actually Martin Luther King Jr. I love this. It is so powerful.
This is what it says. We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive.
He who is devoid, devoured, however you say it, of the power to forgive is devoured of the power
to love. Think about that. If we're not willing, if we're not choosing to forgive,
it actually is impacting our ability to love. They go hand in hand.
Jesus literally on the cross is like, forgive them Lord for they don't know what they're doing.
It was literally a continual flow of His love to those people even as they were doing things that
weren't good. So on that note, I want to kind of just say one more thing and we're going to go into
the next part of tonight's forgiveness is a gift that we're going to give to other people.
But forgiveness along with repentance and confession is the only thing that has the
power to put you back in touch with your authentic identity. So just by a raise of hands,
how many of you in the last, let's just say two to three weeks, have had some level of
attack against your identity and who you are? Go ahead and raise your hands.
All right, so I'm bringing that up and I want you to see that I have had it too. Okay, so I'm in
this party with you, but what I want you to understand is that when we feel separated from
our authentic identity, it's not actually true. It's that we perceive that we're disconnected
from our authentic identity. When we walk in forgiveness, when we choose to repent,
when we choose to confess, it literally reconnects us in that broken feeling. Okay, so what I'm
saying to you is if nothing separates us from God's love, nothing really fully in the spirit
separates us from that original identity. But here's what happens inside of our hearts,
inside of our spirits, we believe we are disconnected. Okay, I want you to put your
hands down. I'm going to ask you another question that just came up in my spirit.
Thank you for putting your hands up on the last one.
And I want you all, I just saw someone say, I've been fighting something this week. I want
really busy. He's been really busy attacking the body of Christ in the last few weeks. And so I
just want you to know you're not alone and that God is for you. So who could be against you? So
I'm just putting down these extra hands before I ask this next question. Okay, so we talked about,
I had you raise your hands if you had some kind of level of disconnect regarding your authentic
identity. Now, what I want you to identify is in the attacks that you've been facing or the
struggles that you've been having, did you at some point believe the lie that you are not loved?
Raise your hand if that applies to you. And even if you didn't have the disconnect with your
authentic identity, but if you struggled with something in the last few weeks, I want you to
identify, did I at any moment believe that either A, I wasn't loved by God or B, I wasn't loved by
somebody else. Or thank you, Lord. C, you did not feel loved by yourself. Like you didn't extend love
to yourself. All right. So quite a few of you, and I want you to know that it's okay. I feel like it's
really important for us to extend a lot of grace to ourselves, not only tonight, but every single
day. You know, this is a constant process where we are renewing our minds. We're being transformed
literally day by day by day as we continue to surrender these things to the Lord. Okay. So you
all can put your hands down for as many of you that are able to get on your phone. Normally I
can do that really quick, but Zoom has changed something. And so I don't, I can't see how to do
that for everyone really quickly. So the next thing I want to talk about is forgiveness is a choice.
Just reminding you, I know you guys have heard this before, but I feel led to just kind of hone
in on it again tonight. It's a choice. It's not a feeling. You're not always going to feel like
forgiving people. You're not always going to feel like doing something
kind for someone that's been hurtful towards you.
So I want you to understand it's literally the power that God enables us with. Again, remember
the power of the, excuse me, the same power that rose Jesus from the dead is living in us,
and that's what enables us to forgive even when it's hard. But so often I think we feel like we're
just doing it on our own, like in our own strength. And so if that's been you, if you've been partnering
with just trying to struggle and do this on your own, in your own strength, I want you to just
really take some time even after this session tonight to pray and reconnect with the Holy
Spirit and connect and say, thank you for helping me to forgive even when it's hard. Thank you for
being my comforter. Thank you for being my counselor and my guide. You're my ever-present
help in times of trouble and in times of victory, like he's with us. He's with us in everything.
So there's nothing that we ever are going to have to do ever again without his help.
Forgiveness, again, not a choice. It's a feeling, or excuse me, forgiveness is a choice. I said
that backwards. It's not a feeling. And so we want to choose forgiveness as Ephesians 4.32 says,
forgive one another just as God forgave you because what Christ has done.
Y'all, anytime I ever struggle with forgiveness, if I will pause and just think about Jesus dying for me,
he died for me so that I could be forgiven.
And then I think of, well, gosh, how can I hold that, like withhold that from someone else
because he died for them too. I just want you to kind of just remember to sit with that for a little
bit, you know, and not like to shame yourself, but it is just this kind of, you know, the Bible has
in Psalm that Selah, that pause and reflect. I feel like this is a reminder to pause and reflect
in this season. Colossians 3.13 in the NLT says this, remember the Lord forgave you,
so you must also forgive others. You don't have to reconcile with them in order to forgive them,
you all. If you didn't see Jackie's post on Instagram and social media recently,
I think it was last week sometime, she actually talked about this a little more in detail. I know
this isn't a tricky time of year. You know, some of you have family that you're going around and
it's really, really hard. And for some of you, it's very, very toxic. I want to encourage you
to set really healthy boundaries and only go to the places that the Lord is telling you to go.
Maybe for some of you, the best thing you can do to step into forgiveness is A, forgive them,
but also B, it might be to go spend the holidays with someone else so that you're not in this
place where people are mistreating you. And then you're getting more and more and more wounded,
and it's just adding to the problem. Forgiveness is about your freedom, not their worthiness.
Here's the reality. I'm going to share a little bit of my story with you all. Some of you might
have heard this before, and it's not my in-depth story, but I felt led to share this with you
tonight. For those of you that don't know this, my mom and I did not have a good relationship.
When I was younger, I thought we did, but the older I got and the more I stood up for myself,
the less we had a good relationship. She really walked in a lot of manipulation and control.
There was a lot of narcissistic tendencies, and she was very depressed when I was younger. I spent
a lot of my childhood trying to make my mom happy, trying to help her get out of bed.
She did work. She had a full-time job. She worked part-time too. And so there were a lot of things
she did really well, you all. So it's important for me to say that to you as well. But she was
a single mom, four kids. I was the youngest of four. There were a lot of things that happened
in my home that as a mom myself, I can't tell you how many times I thought to myself, how did my mom
not notice this stuff was going on? Why were we allowed to go into bedrooms and have the door
shut with both genders in the room? There were just things that I'm just like, how could this
happen? And so there was a season of my life where I really judged her, and I had to learn how to
come out of that and forgive her for that. But the story aspect that I want to share with you tonight
is my mom also was very verbally abusive towards me. And then she would also go on social media and
do these posts about her favorite child.
And you all, it wasn't me.
And that's, you know,
A, I don't think parents should do that at all,
but it was very, very difficult.
And so when I would message her like,
hey, why are you doing that?
Like, that's just not healthy.
Literally, it would never go well.
Lots of retaliation, lots of reaction,
a lot of continual verbal assaults and all the things.
And I'm saying that to kind of set the stage
for what I'm gonna say next.
In, let's see, I would probably say
maybe January of 2022, maybe a little later than that,
my mom found out that I moved to Indiana
because I didn't tell her in advance
because she was getting very jealous.
And I knew that's what was happening.
She was jealous of what God was doing
in my relationship with Brian.
My mom was single for a really long time
and she wanted to be married again.
That didn't happen for her.
And I'm really sad for her that it didn't.
There were a lot of things that she went through.
My mom had an aneurysm in 1998 when I was in college.
Like there was just a lot that happened
that held that back for her,
including her own unwillingness
to get the help that she needed.
But leading up to that,
I just felt like I couldn't trust her.
And so I was in this community.
I was getting wise counsel.
I knew I was making really healthy choices for myself.
I decided to move to Indiana.
I'm an adult.
I can make that choice for myself
without asking my mom's permission.
And so I moved to Indiana
because Brian and I wanted to date more locally
and all the things, it was very, very good.
But when my mom found out that I moved
and didn't ask her if it was okay,
she sent me all these messages.
Like, I mean, you all so much.
And so we had words about that.
So this was about January of 2022.
It was very, very difficult.
I can't tell you how many conversations
Jackie Dorman and I had about my mom
and how to process this.
Because in a season that I should have
like been able to invite her into all this happiness,
I felt like I had to put up a lot more boundaries
and hold her at a distance because if I didn't,
it was very painful and harmful.
And so all that to say,
one of the things Jackie asked me to do,
and she probably asked me if I'm being honest
in like February of 2022, the first time,
where she said to me a lot of what she said to you all
that were on the Sunday night activation
about praying to send a card to someone
or a gift to someone that you need to forgive
or that they've done something wrong
and that you're still gonna bless them,
through the Lord's leading.
And I remember hearing her say it
and I'm like, I'm not doing that.
I don't wanna send it.
You wanna know what I thought?
I thought she doesn't deserve it.
I really did.
And I felt bad that I felt that way,
but that is genuinely how I felt.
I'm like, she keeps doing this to me, Lord.
Like, you know, I know, forgive 70 times seven.
I know that and I forgive her,
but like, I don't think I should do something nice
for this really bad behavior.
That's what I was thinking.
So that was around February of 2022.
The Lord continued to work in my heart about this.
And then I believe we had,
I had another conversation with Jackie Dorman around April
and she approached me about the same topic again.
She's like, Bethany, I really feel like
you need to forgive your mom.
I'm like, I have forgiven her.
She's like, yeah, but I feel like you need to send her
a gift and tell her you love her.
Well, Mother's Day was right around the corner, you all.
And I really did pray into it.
And I felt like God told me I needed to do it.
And so even though I didn't feel like it, you all,
I chose to do it.
And when I got her a gift,
I didn't get her this little, very teeny tiny gift.
I got her this really, my mom loved chocolate
and she loved fruit.
And there was some other things that I got her too,
but I got her this really big,
she was in a nursing home at the time.
I got her this really big edible arrangement
and it got delivered and had a balloon
and it said, happy Mother's Day.
And I did include a card and I thanked her
for being my mother.
And I thanked her for the times that she chose
to stick around because you know what?
As a single mom,
she could have chosen to give me away to someone.
But she didn't. She chose to keep me.
Even though she did not want me and did not plan for me,
my mom did choose to keep me.
And while my life was really, really hard,
even more so since she's passed,
so many times I've thanked God
for helping my mom not give me away.
And you know, the reason that I'm telling this story tonight
is that was early May of 2022.
It was Mother's Day, it was May 8th in 2022.
My mom was thrilled.
She posted about it on social media.
She was so excited.
You know, she sent stuff to her sister about it,
sent stuff to me thanking me
and all the kindness stuff started coming back out in her.
And then she got sick again,
really, really sick again.
And she went back into the hospital
and my mom died on May 29th of that year.
21 days later, after I sent her that gift,
my mom passed away.
I had no clue that that was gonna happen.
My mom had had a lot of health issues over the years,
but I still had no clue that that was coming.
But God did.
Y'all, I have no regrets.
I have no regrets.
Giving her that gift was me ushering in a conversation
that her and I had before she died.
And if you have been in that situation
and you didn't get that kind of conversation,
I'm really sorry.
And I know that broke God's heart for you too.
But I really want you to release that expectation
to the Lord and really fully release that person.
Release them for what they didn't do.
Like I said, my mom was a single mom.
I'm not excusing the unhealthy things,
but I absolutely have been able to see the gold
in the things that she did do.
But I have to ask God to show it to me sometimes.
There are moments where it's still hard for me
to understand having a mother's heart,
how my mom was towards me.
But when I choose to step out of judgment and criticism
and harshness towards her, I choose to forgive her
and allow God to show me things.
He continues to open my heart to understand more.
And so here's my question for you.
This is what I want you to put in the chat.
Yes, Melissa, I see what you said.
Thank you.
That is so true.
This is the question.
Who in your life needs the gift of forgiveness tonight?
You don't think they're worthy of it,
but God is saying to you tonight,
hey, I want you to forgive this person.
For some of you, it is you.
I love that you're putting that in there.
I love that you're seeing that.
And hopefully you're feeling that in a lot of ways
so that you can step into that more and more.
Okay, keep putting those up for me.
Get in there.
Again, I'm not gonna go ahead and read all these.
I'm gonna just let you put those up in the chat.
And here's the next part of this application
is what would choosing forgiveness look like practically?
So in my example, I felt led to send her a Mother's Day gift
and not just a small gift, but I kind of splurged on her.
So what would it look like
for you to choose forgiveness practically
towards this person?
And if you're not sure yet, that's totally fine,
but just where you start to open your heart and your mind
to what that might look like for you.
And remember in this, I heard the Lord just say,
this isn't about us begging, okay?
When I sent my mom that gift,
I never mentioned what she did.
I just sent the gift and I blessed her in the card
and said, thank you for being my mother.
Thank you for encouraging.
She used to send me these cards that,
like when I was in college the first couple of years
to encourage me, I got really homesick a lot,
surprisingly, because I had a really tough home life,
but I got homesick.
I think that was some of the codependency kicking in,
honestly, but my mom used to send me these really nice cards
and I appreciated that.
So living that out, walking it out,
what is God saying to you tonight about it?
The next part we're gonna talk about
is forgiveness preparing us for love.
I had already met Brian, but I definitely had not,
well, you all would know this,
but I had not introduced him to my family yet.
When my mom got sick,
Brian and I were in the hospital for a couple of days.
I had just gotten engaged on May 19. So I sent my mom the gift on May 8, May 19. Brian
and I got engaged in California. When I was in California is when I found out my mom got
sick again and had to be like put back in the hospital. And then like I said, she passed
away on May 29. My Brian met my mom and my brothers and sisters. Probably I guess I went
we went to the hospital on May 28 because we got there literally the day before she
passed away. So Brian met my family the day before my mom passed away. And that was because
I just wasn't comfortable introducing him to my family. It had nothing to do with him.
It had to do with my family. And everybody's different, y'all. That's something I talked
to him at length about. I wanted him to know that it had nothing to do with him. So y'all
will have to navigate your own stories. But I absolutely believe forgiving my mom was was
very important in my love story. Forgiving my dad was really important in my love story.
But I also want to share another story with you a little bit tonight. I don't know as
many details and I have permission to share this with you. But Renee and Brian DeVorey,
as you guys know, Renee Rizzo, Rizzo, that's who she used to be. I actually sometimes I've
typed Renee Rizzo and then been like, oh, wait, she's not Rizzo anymore. She's DeVorey
now. But anyways, newly married success story from our community. One of the things that
as we were talking about tonight as a team that came up was Renee, for those of you that
know or don't know. Gosh, I don't know how long ago it's been now, but her dad passed
away within the last couple of years. And after he passed away, there was a lot of things
that came up out of Renee that she had to process that did not come up before he passed
away. And she had to work extensively through that stuff. Lots of conversations with Jackie
and myself and, you know, outside sources. And I think people that she was working with
on that as well. But here's the other interesting factor. Her now husband, around the same time
that God was leading her to forgive her dad. Or excuse me, that her dad passed away, his
mom passed away. And so while Renee was processing forgiving her dad, Brian DeVorey was
processing forgiving his mother of some massive things, you all. Massive things. One hundred
percent believe that their processing of those wounds, of those situations prepared them to be
able to receive each other. They both had to work with through that deep forgiveness so that they
could, again, remember, not only perceive it, but be able to have the capacity to receive it.
So here's the other beautiful thing. God used their individual forgiveness journeys to prepare
them for each other. They did not meet until they had both done the heartwork to clear the
blocks that would have prevented them from recognizing and receiving their spirit mate.
Forgiveness often breaks generational patterns off of us. Healing in one area often ushers in
blessings in other areas. So maybe for you, maybe it's not just your spirit mate. Maybe it's that
promotion you've been seeking. Forgiveness ushers in blessings. It ushers in the ability to
insight from heaven about a thing. Do you know that bitter roots actually quench the flow of
the Holy Spirit? Resentment and bitterness and unforgiveness all hang out together.
So if you're not forgiving someone, you most likely have bitterness and resentment hanging
out on the inside of you. And you all, we're not, this isn't about perfection. I think that
every single day we have opportunities that are presented to us and things that people say or
things that people do that hurt us in some way, shape or form. Sometimes we have great days and
that stuff doesn't happen and that's amazing. But this is where again, keeping short accounts
and forgiving people. God often uses our forgiveness journey to prepare us for what
wants to give us. Your spirit mate right now might be waiting for you to clear the blocks
that would prevent you from recognizing them. I absolutely believe without a doubt in my mind
that the healing work that my Brian did and the healing work that I did, that is what enabled us
to actually see each other. Brian has even testified of this from the pulpit that he truly doesn't...
He's like, I don't think my wife would have picked me
if I had not done the healing work.
Y'all, he's right.
And I don't know if I would have seen him
because I got to the point where I was over attracting
unhealthy, abusive men.
I'm like, I'm not doing that anymore.
That's why I had, you know, I tell you guys
and joke about my list and the way I was kind of like
tracking who I was going on dates with
and how did this date make me feel?
Did I see any flags here?
Giving them nicknames and just kind of really being fun
with the process and allowing myself to like,
I don't know, how did that date go?
You know, we had good conversation or it was super awkward.
Or this guy, he just kept trying to push,
you know, talking about sex constantly.
But here's the thing, the reason I'm bringing that up
is all of those things, me choosing to give myself
permission to heal and really figure out
what was healthy for me
is what also prepared me to receive Brian.
It gave me the ability to see him more clearly as well.
To identify the green flags in him.
If I was walking around in a lot of brokenness, you all,
back in the day, I saw red flags
and then I would just blow right through them.
Not even on purpose, just subconsciously,
I would just keep going.
But then in a healed state, I'm like,
oh yeah, that's not healthy.
Oh, wow, that is really awesome about that person.
But the healing is what enabled me to get there.
Forgiving myself for the six years
that I gave to that person that,
like my spiritual daughter's dad,
who literally betrayed me over and over and over again.
Forgiving him, forgiving myself was also vital to me
being ready to receive my spirit mate.
So here's your next activation.
In the chat, share one thing you're ready to forgive
and release tonight.
It can be a person, it can be a situation.
Again, it can be yourself.
If you already put yourself, that's okay.
You can say it again.
Let's create an atmosphere of breakthrough together.
In the chat, one thing you're ready to forgive
and release tonight.
You're saying, here we are, we're upon,
we're closing in on the end of 2025.
What do we not wanna take into the next year with us?
And for some of you, you might feel like,
well, I was here in this place last year.
No, you weren't.
Don't receive that lie.
You might still be processing forgiveness
or you might be still processing certain situations,
but probably the reason that you're still struggling with it
is that it was a really hard situation.
But the enemy is trying to get you
to not be grace-filled towards yourself.
He just wants you to condemn yourself
over and over and over again when other people are not
and God definitely is not.
You are your best investment.
You are valuable.
You're gonna have a time and a day
when you're gonna meet your spirit mate
and you're gonna recognize how amazing it is
to be in a couple, but every single one of us,
myself included, before I met Brian,
we have to understand our value and our worth
apart from someone else.
Do you believe that you actually are valuable?
And if you don't, I'm gonna say it goes back
to that authentic identity and struggling with that.
Struggling with forgiving yourself,
that when you make a mistake, you don't have to,
thank you, Lord.
You don't have to like, back in the day,
what was it called?
They would take people out on the gallows to hang them.
Some of you all, that's how you're treating yourself.
When you make a mistake, you're like,
like it just feels like you just made
the biggest mistake ever
and sometimes they're little, little mistakes.
But because you're not forgiving yourself for the mistakes,
then it creates a stronghold
because every time you make a mistake from there on out,
you're not forgiving yourself.
And then every time it gets bigger and bigger and bigger.
And so you're taking yourself to the gallows,
so to speak.
And God is saying in the spirit tonight
that the gallows are not meant for you.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Jesus died on the cross
and shed his blood for your forgiveness.
He wants you to receive it tonight.
And not just for a moment, for eternity, forever.
And I know, it can get hard.
I don't like to make mistakes either.
I don't like when I react about something
or I'm like, oh, who was that in that moment?
I don't know who she is.
She was, that was kind of scary.
Okay, am I the only person in the room
that ever says or does anything that I'm just like,
well, where did that come from?
When pressure is applied, all kinds of stuff can come out.
Hopefully, the more we heal,
more and more good stuff is gonna come out, right?
But even thinking and talking about like the olive press,
you know, the olive press was really important
because it brought out the best juice.
So some of you are feeling pressed,
you're feeling squeezed even by this conversation
in this session tonight.
But the Lord is saying, if you will surrender this person,
these situations to me, if you allow me,
God's not harming you, God's not putting pressure
and squeezing you to harm you.
The pressure is being applied to lead you into breakthrough,
to lead you into greater freedom and revelation.
So, okay, I'm gonna have you do something.
I'm not gonna stand up
just because you all won't be able to see me, okay?
But if you're willing,
I would love for you to stand right where you're at.
And we're gonna walk through some declarations
before we go into the open coaching.
So as I say the declaration, you're gonna repeat after me.
I choose forgiveness over my feelings.
And here's why we're standing up,
if you guys don't know this,
you're standing up to stand in your authority
given to you in Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ died to give you authority.
So we're standing up in our authority tonight
as we declare these things, okay?
So we're gonna start over.
Because you're standing in your authority,
I want you to understand that.
And everything that we speak out of our mouth,
remember in our tongue,
we have the power of life and death, okay?
So I choose forgiveness over my feelings.
I release and say their name and choose to walk in freedom.
I release whoever it is and choose to walk in freedom
if you didn't get that full one on the first time.
Here's the next one.
I open my heart to receive all that God has for me.
Hmm.
Number four, I have the capacity
to perceive and receive my spirit mate.
We're gonna do that one again.
I feel it in the Holy Spirit.
I have the capacity to perceive and receive my spirit mate.
We're gonna put your name in that now.
So I, whatever your name is,
have the capacity to perceive and receive my spirit mate.
Number five, unforgiveness will no longer
block my blessings.
Yes, Lord.
In Jesus' name, amen, amen.
Okay, you can come back with me.
Y'all, I'll put those up in the groups
after I get off tonight
so that you can continue to partner with those
because it's not just about tonight.
It's about daily putting ourselves in this posture.
I'm gonna put them up too
because as I was preparing to come on
and lead you all tonight,
probably about 20 minutes before this session,
I chose to forgive someone,
someone that has authority in my life,
that said some stuff that was very hurtful.
And I have been offended this week about it.
And I needed to forgive them,
not just for them, but for me.
So I want you to know I'm walking in this with you.
Here are some practical next steps for you.
We've kind of talked about this tonight already.
So identify one person you need to forgive this week.
Hopefully you already know who that is
because some of you put it in the chat.
Number two, take one practical action of forgiveness.
So this is that activating it.
And remember, it does not require contact.
I didn't drive from one state to another
to go visit my mom.
I sent her a gift, okay?
Number three, pray daily.
Lord, increase my capacity to perceive
and receive your blessings.
So I'll send you these practical next steps as well.
Here's the final truth before I open up the heartwork seat
for whoever wants to get into that tonight.
Remember this, the gift of forgiveness you give tonight
isn't just about them.
It's about clearing the path for everything
God wants to bring into your life,
including the love story that he.
is already writing for you. Do you perceive it? He's already writing it,
praying for you, praying and believing for all of you. And I know some of you are struggling.
I know that, um, okay, thank you, Lord. I love God. He's so awesome.
You know, here's something I want you all to be really careful about.
And when I say this, I'm not minimizing the holiday seasons being hard. I know they are.
I know they are. Even for myself, I'm married, but we live in Florida. None of our family is here.
We won't see any of our family for Christmas. That's, that's hard. That's sad.
My grandparents are dead. My mom's dead. My dad's dead.
I'm not close with any of my family. That's sad. It's hard. That is not the kind of family I want.
I get an opportunity to create a different legacy. You all,
I get to, I get to do things differently with my kids. So like, I just went to visit them. And
one of my main focuses when I go to Kentucky is to be with them
because I love them and I want them to know that no matter what.
So where I was going with this and what I heard in the spirit is that some of you,
you tend to get really triggered around the holidays and I get it, but I heard the Lord say
to tell you that it's time to come out of agreement with that statement. Yes, Lord.
It's time to come out of agreement with that statement because what's happening,
I'm not saying it's not going to be hard, but when, when we partner with every,
every holiday, I get triggered. I struggle every holiday. We're reinforcing that.
Even though this is a little bit different. I remember before I met Brian,
the Christmas before that being probably one of the loneliest Christmases I've had.
I felt free and it was really actually a blessing, but I remember having to battle
loneliness more than I ever had before. But you know what I partnered with, wait a minute.
I'm pretty amazing and not in a prideful way, but it was like, God started giving me a revelation
of my own being and how, of how like everywhere I go, I fill a space with something great.
Do you believe that? Do you believe that even when no one else is around,
that you fill that space with something amazing and great. Even if no one, no one notices you,
no one applauds you, no one calls you. You guys back in the day, I can remember panicking when
I would go through something and so many times people would never pick up and I'd be like,
why does this happen? And the Lord would be like, cause I'm trying to get you to turn to me.
You fill a space. Do you believe that there's something good in you, that everywhere that you
are, there is value. There is awe, there is wonder because God created you with all of that.
I'm not saying you shouldn't want a spirit mate. So don't hear me. That's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying to you that the more that you stand in your value, the more that you understand
who you are and how amazing you are, the more you're going to get prepared to receive someone
really amazing. It is possible. Yes, Lord. I just saw him opening a gift. So guess what that means?
He's opening up a gift to give it to somebody. So somebody here tonight, this has increased your
to perceive your spirit mate is coming soon. And I want you to know that that is true. If that is
what you feel, I want to confirm that to you and that he is on his way in Jesus name. All right.
So I'm going to open the heartwork seat, Mandy, it is you and it's a bunch of other people too,
but yes, I believe that for you, my friend. All right, Dave, go ahead. And you all, you can ask
anything. Okay. So it's an open heartwork seat. It can be about forgiveness. It can be about
something else if you need it to be. Go ahead, Dave. Oh, you're muted. There you go.
One second. Just finding my notes here. So we often, we often talk about how like our dream
partners like won't meet our expectations or how we need like more experience. And it's true that
no one is exactly like, like how you perfectly imagined. But in my life, what I've learned is
that the reality is, is that like reality is always better. And my relationship.
relationships haven't been perfect, like some of them have been really rough and harmful
to me.
But even then, they were always way more blessings and profound lessons that I gained than I
ever thought were possible.
So I always, I was always better for the experience.
So that kind of made me wonder, is it possible that we need to like maybe like stop imagining
a limited future, a one that's based on our own like limited imagination and start accepting
the incredible and unknown blessings that God has for us, that like the purpose of making
us whole, building our strength and making us grow?
Well, yeah, 100%.
Because I mean, I think I just told this story last night, but y'all went and heard it, but
you might have heard it before for some of you.
When I first met Brian, well, when I first saw him on the app, I wasn't even going to
swipe to receive a message from him.
But y'all, I've told him this story just so you know, but he had this really cute dog
and he looked handsome, but he wasn't normally my, he wasn't my type.
And so I almost did not swipe to have a conversation with him, but then I just kept feeling like
he kept popping up in my feed.
And so the Lord kept highlighting to me, I'm like, okay, I'm just, I'm just gonna, we'll
see.
We'll see how this goes.
And so I did.
And when he came to the first date, I was kind of like, meh, he's all right.
As far as his looks go, but you know what?
After having maybe like a two, two and a half hour conversation with him, seeing him and
the way that he treated the people that were at the coffee shop, he paid for me to be generous.
There was like a pay it forward thing at that place.
He, he paid for himself to be generous, but then he paid for me to be generous too, because
I was standing there looking at it and I wanted to do it.
And I mentioned it to him.
He's like, well, I'll pay for you to do it.
There were just a lot of things that I just started seeing in him that I was like, whoa,
this is good stuff.
And so he asked me before he left that night, if I would like to go on another date.
And I'm like, yeah, I would.
But even in that moment, I still wasn't sure if I was attracted to him.
So he comes back to Lexington for the second date and I'm going to get to the core of what
you're asking, Dave.
But when he came to the second date, we walked into the restaurant and y'all, he kind of,
kind of not in a, in a weird way, but he kind of put his hand right by my back in my lower
back.
Not, and again, he not inappropriate, but I remember thinking like, Ooh, I don't, I
don't know if I want people thinking we're together.
I don't know if I'm there yet.
Literally, these are the thoughts I was having you all.
And I sat down.
I remember still thinking in that moment.
I actually think I remember there was a guy over sitting to the left of us that looked
like someone I would have normally picked, but yet I was here with Brian.
And so that's how that night started.
But again, the more that I heard him talking and I heard his heart and we're having these
really awesome conversations.
I'm like, gosh, I know I felt uncomfortable like an hour ago.
Not because of him.
It was more about what was going on inside of me.
And so by the time we left that place, I was like, man, I just, I like spending time with
this guy.
And so we went to this park and we were walking around.
And before I knew it, I was like, I don't know if I've ever been this comfortable with
someone like I am with him right now.
I just felt so at peace, so comfortable, and that had never been my experience before.
And so that was getting my attention.
And so I'm saying that to you to say that, yeah, I think I had at the beginning of that,
I think I had a limited perspective of, of who God had for me.
I think that the other challenge that I faced was, you know, his denomination.
And I almost considered not dating him anymore because of his denomination, you all.
True story.
Jackie had a conversation with me about that as well, lovingly told me, you need to let
this go.
And I prayed about it, talked to him about it, processed it, was very honest with him
about why I was concerned about it.
And we had a great conversation, really powerful.
And I was able to surrender that pen to the Lord.
And because of that, God started expanding my perspective of my future.
So, Dave, yes, I think that sometimes we come into situations and we meet people.
And even before we meet them, we have this, even in life, in every way you all, we have
a very small box that we look at things through.
I want you to imagine, do you remember back in the day?
I'm going to date myself here, but do you remember back in the day?
I don't even remember what they were called anymore.
Someone will have to help me, but they were.
Those red, you looked into them
and you would put those white circle things
that were like film.
Yes, Debra, the view master.
Yes, and we would sit and we would look at the story
or whatever through this view master.
Here's the truth.
Most of us are walking around every single day
with a view master literally attached to us.
That's what it's really like.
But if we will turn our perspective over to the Lord,
just like I was saying, for a lot of you,
it's about whether or not you can perceive a thing.
But in order for us to perceive it,
don't we need to get rid of the lenses
that we're looking through?
Yeah.
And even when things happen and people come into our life,
yeah, we have to be willing to say,
okay, Lord, like how do you see them?
Because some of you all, you're going on dates even,
and you're feeling all kinds of chemistry,
but that person's, there's red flags left and right.
Let's not settle for that.
Let's know that God can give us both.
I didn't have fiery chemistry
on my first two dates with him,
but man, that slow burn, y'all is way, way,
I've had lust, I've had chemistry before,
and it didn't end up well,
but that slow burn, baby, turned into a fire,
and it turned into an engagement,
and it turned into a marriage,
and y'all, I love him, deeply love my husband.
So Dave, yeah, for all of you,
I think you're more asking the question.
I hope that I answered it.
Was that?
You did, yeah.
Yeah, excellent.
Yeah, it's letting God write your story
and allowing him to show you
that his story is way bigger for you
than what you could ever ask, think, or imagine.
Yeah, and I think for me,
I think my non-negotiables,
what I'm feeling challenged about you sharing,
were really mine and not from heaven.
So like, I was going through my original non-negotiables
when I finished the artwork,
and I thought, I don't believe any of these anymore.
And so it's kind of like, God's been like, yeah.
Actually, my-
Well, and for those, go ahead.
No, my pastor gave me the same analogy of the viewmaster,
and he said, are you ready to put the toy down?
And I have it in my journal, and he said,
because you're looking at it like a little toy.
And he's like, they're real people.
So put the toy down and open your eyes.
That is a massive confirmation, Dave.
I don't think I've talked about a viewmaster
for like 20-some years or something, literally.
I've never used that analogy.
It came up in my spirit as I was talking to you.
So that is the Lord.
I had no clue that your pastor said that to you.
The Lord wants you to know,
like, you know, think of it this way, you all.
This is how God confirms the word, okay?
So God was speaking to you through your pastor,
and now he's come tonight,
and he's confirming that word for you.
It's about continuing to surrender
your perspective and your view.
It doesn't mean that God isn't gonna bless you
with somebody incredible.
It just means that he wants you to open your mind
to see what he sees and trust that he is good,
and he's the giver of good and perfect gifts,
and he's gonna give you a good and perfect gift
in your spirit, Nate.
And he knows, and here's the other thing, you know,
that I'll say again regarding Brian and I.
We knew there was a lot of spiritual DNA
before we even got married.
We knew that we both were deeply called to ministry,
that we were both running after the Lord,
but you know, you all, after we got married,
I started, you know, the more that Brian healed,
I started realizing just these deep gifts inside of him
that were sitting dormant
because of his own kind of unbelief for himself.
His ex-wife used to talk down to him all the time,
and then he actually had former leaders speak,
kind of telling him that he couldn't do certain things
as a pastor and a preacher.
And anyways, I'm saying that to say that coming together,
God activated things in him
that were sitting there dormant.
And so that's where it's also, some of you all,
you're gonna know they have a lot of wonderful things
about themselves, but you wanna follow peace.
You wanna follow the green flags.
You wanna really get to know the person
and let God show you who he sees that they are.
Yeah, so keep surrendering that, Dave.
It sounds like you're on the right path.
And when you gave the word in the prophetic night
about the little yellow bird.
So I-
I heard you talk about that on Saturday.
I loved that.
Yeah, so I had actually written a song word for word
exactly that had that yellow bird in it.
So I was like, and I went back and checked my notes
and I was like, this is like word for word.
So thanks.
for that word.
Oh, that's awesome.
I love hearing that kind of stuff because sometimes y'all I'm like, I don't know where
this is coming from.
It's the Lord.
I'm just going to see what happens with it.
That is so awesome.
Thank you for sharing that.
Stephanie, go ahead.
Hey, Bethany.
Thanks for sharing about the dog story.
I feel like I'm that way with like farm animals.
Like if a guy is like holding a goat or a lamb, it's like, it's got my heart.
Okay.
So my question is, I am moving soon and I, God has been prompting me in the whole way
like, and I have been decluttering and getting rid of things.
And I, I feel like I'm starting to have some insight into where I'm going next, but I,
I don't know how, I don't know if it's, I think it's temporary.
I don't know how temporary.
And so in this process, I've been trying to like figure out details about like, if I'm
going to store my furniture or if I should just get rid of it.
And part of me like wants to just sell a bunch of the big stuff and like that just feels
so freeing to me for this next season.
But then I just, I noticed all this, I think anxiety coming up and just this like wanting
to like hold on to things.
And it's, it's like just stirring up a lot of feelings around like money and wasting
money and like scarcity mindset and like wanting to let go, but not knowing if that's a foolish
thing to do right now.
And just, I was, I've been surprised at like how much it's, it's been stirring up.
So yeah.
Okay.
I just wanted to make sure you were done.
So, Hey, interesting thing right before you said, then you said, I think this is temporary
right before you said that I heard the Lord say nomad.
Okay.
So a nomad is someone who kind of moves from place to place.
They have freedom to move.
And you can look more into that.
It doesn't mean that that's going to be, you know, the situation long-term, but I do
have a feeling that this is temporary for you.
Now, obviously continue to put that before the Lord and let him show you.
Here's my question for you.
You said it yourself.
When I think about selling the big stuff that feels very freeing.
Okay.
So let me ask you this, the big stuff, when you got it, does it remind you, or after you
got it, does it remind you of anyone or anything that brings you feelings that you
don't enjoy?
Some, yes.
Others, it's, it's more of the feeling of like, I don't enjoy feeling attached to it.
It's like, why I don't, I don't like, yeah, like feeling attached to stuff in that, like
it doesn't feel good.
So what if God is preparing you to get ready to not have a lot of stuff because he's going
to take you somewhere to introduce you to a spirit mate and you're going to be able to
buy a lot of new things at some point, you know, I think this is the thing you said it
really well.
When, when you start feeling like doing this and you're feeling all this freedom, then
what kicks in is anxiety, which remember anxiety or is what ifs, what if, what if, but
it's partnering with fear, false evidence appearing real.
So that's when you start hearing things like you're wasting money.
And so my question for you on that is, you know, growing up, were you kind of around
people that never got rid of anything or that there was shame around wanting to let go of
something to get something new?
And again, this isn't to criticize them, but it's understanding that if we were around
people that, you know, you know, generations before us.
And again, I'm not, I'm not saying this is their fault or that it's bad, but there was
that hoarding phase, you know, they didn't get rid of anything because they went through
the Great Depression and stuff like that was really hard times for a lot of people.
And so they did struggle with letting go of things.
And so some of our grandparents, our parents went through that.
And so that's translated to us essentially.
And then there's also the factor of if our parents or anyone in our family line
struggled with money and they had guilt or shame for wanting something.
something new or wanting to let go of something, then you might also be up against not only
your own things, but it could be connected to family line.
And so I want you to just pray around that stuff and really asking the Lord to kind of
reveal some more things for healing.
But also this whole thing that I said to you, you know, if you feel free, maybe it's God
trying to stretch your faith to believe that he's leading you into something new.
I remember when I moved to Indiana, y'all, I got rid of my couch.
I got rid of all kinds of big stuff.
I ended up renting an apartment that already had furniture.
I forgot, before I looked for an apartment, I didn't even, I didn't even remember that
there were apartments that had furniture.
But even going through that, it shifted my mind and got me ready.
When Brian and I got married, he already had a couch and it was a pretty cool couch.
And I was very happy with using his couch.
And so again, like I know it can get hard.
Like we partner with fear because we're afraid if we let go of something, well, we might
need that thing.
I do it even with clothes that I haven't worn in like 20, 20 years, you all, I might want
to wear that thing again.
And if I ever fit back into it and we get afraid to let go of stuff.
But God, I think is saying, Hey, what, like, you know, will you trust me with that thing?
Will you trust me with giving you provision and the future to buy something new?
Yeah.
And I think it, it's tapping into like, I know that that's been a challenge for me for
many, many, many years, just trusting God with provision.
And also like, it's hard for me to like, spend a significant amount of money on myself or
just spend money on myself, I think in general.
So it's like all these things.
So this is going to be a part of your healing process, then I'm pretty confident of that
because God is trying to let you know that it's not about you being wasteful, Stephanie.
God is giving you permission to let go and embrace the freedom feeling that you're having,
even thinking about letting it go.
The reason I asked you the question, does that stuff remind you of somebody or something
that wasn't that, that caused you to feel bad.
And what you said was like, kind of, but it just, you just feel like you just want to
get like, you want to let that go.
Typically it is because it reminds us of something that we don't want to be reminded of.
And sometimes it's a season, you know, I, the couch that I got rid of y'all for a couple
years, I was so glad to have it.
I was so proud of myself because I bought it myself and I struggled financially a lot
over the years.
But when I was dating my spiritual daughter's dad, I, when I originally bought that couch,
it was mine, but I let him keep it at his house.
The girls loved it.
They always wanted to sit on it at my house.
And so we moved it to his house and, and all the things, and the girls would fight over
that couch.
And while that sounds so cute, what happened is after I broke up with him, he, he constantly
tried to prevent me from being able to see them.
And when I would sit in my apartment, sometimes when I wasn't able to see them, I would feel
sad sitting on that couch.
Now I'm not saying this is anything in your story, but what I am saying is that it was
important for me to look at that.
And it was important for me to let that couch go because God had new memories for me that
he wanted to give me.
And that included a new couch that my husband already owned.
And then when we moved here to Florida, you all, Brian and I went shopping and bought
brand new.
We still have that couch he had, but we brought, we bought brand new furniture.
Neither one of us had ever done that before.
Brand new, like nice furniture.
And that couch I had before, it was, it was nice for that season, but see, even letting
go of that from that season opened me up to be able to give myself permission to receive
what Brian had that was plenty.
But then when we moved into the next season to buy something that like spend money that
we didn't, we wouldn't have normally spent on ourselves for furniture.
And we weren't like crazy, you all, but it's really beautiful furniture.
And so, yeah, it's learning, it's learning to let go so that we can receive new.
Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah. And I also, I just wanted to say I've used that nomad word.
I've, I've joked, like, maybe I'll just be a nomad for a little while. So that was confirmation. So
thank you. All right. Another confirmation tonight. You all, I love this. Keep us posted on
how that goes. Stephanie, where are you moving to? Like, sorry. Are you going to stay in the
same city and state where you're at? Or are you going to move somewhere different or what's that
like? Yeah, I think I'm moving somewhere different. So I'm not, I have some ideas.
Yeah, that's all right. Keep us posted on how that goes. Okay.
Awesome. Thank you for sharing. Bernice, go ahead.
Oh, you're muted still. There you go. Okay. So I just wanted to say this is
confirmation too, because this morning in my quiet time, I was praying, and I felt like
the Lord told me to go to my son and ask his forgiveness for being harsh in the way I spanked
him when he was younger out of anger. And it wasn't abuse. Yeah, I understand. But I spanked
him in anger. And I felt like I needed to share that with you because you and Jackie are on point.
And as well as with one of my friends, one of my girlfriends that basically took my kindness
and used it. The Lord told me to send her a wedding gift because she's going to be getting
married in March. Two things this morning, and it was all about forgiveness. So I just wanted
to share and say this is confirmation. I love this. And Bernice, I would love to hear like
what happened when you told your son, when you asked him to forgive you for that,
did he receive that or how did that unfold for you? No, not in the beginning. He didn't receive
it. He just said, Oh mom, that was a long time ago. And so when he came back home this evening,
I said to him, the Lord wants me to come back to you because he wants you to say, yes, I forgive
you. And he said, okay, mom, I forgive you. So yeah. So I went back to him and did that.
That's so awesome. I love this. I believe that there's things happening in the spirit realm
because of your obedience that you guys, both he and you are going to start to feel different in
ways that you didn't even know that you needed it. And I love that you shared this with us
and ladies and gentlemen, I hope that this encourages you to go and step into your forgiveness
channel if you will, tonight and in this next week ahead as well.
Crystal, hi, it's great to see you. Bernice, thanks for sharing that. Thank you.
Miss Lily is enamored with you, Bethany. She's very enamored with you tonight.
Um, so yes, forgiveness is definitely confirmation as I was on my roster for many,
many things, even for just like Lily's mom, um, you know, for leaving them here and now her
father's back in jail again. And anyways, just so that's a confirmation, but I have a question,
um, with the, the fostering and I think it's kind of a hint, probably a hindrance to in my,
in like going forward to, to spirit mate dating. I had Monroe here and I'm just trying to figure
out where, like where, where the guard is coming from. Like I had the little 12 month old here and
she came and went and it was, everybody's like, how you making out now that she's gone. And I'm
like, I have like no emotion attached to it. And, um, today we were in court over Lily,
uh, trying to figure out what to do because she's actually placed here with,
with no payments being made to me. So I'm looking after, looking after her out of pocket.
Um, so I had to tell them like, you know, that can't go, they, they asked me to do it for another
six months. So I had to tell them that I couldn't go on and people are like, you know, how are you
going to make out, you know, if they have to come pick her up or, you know, and, um, I don't know.
I feel like, I don't know where the, why the detachment, like, you know, like, you know,
like, I feel like I'm a person that loves really deep, deep anyways, like I did, like when my
parents died, it was such a, such a deep loss and such a grief loss, you know? And I, I feel,
I felt like I did a lot of work, um, through that with, with the Lord and with healing and
even with like, even writing like goodbye letters and stuff like that. But.
I'm like, what, like, where's the because I don't want to be like that, like, especially when you take in kids like this or whatever. And I feel like it's probably going to transfer in other areas, like, even for my brother, like, this time last year, I had the full circle moment with with my brother, because, you know, like, Jackie gave that full circle word.
And I just, I really feel to see it to say to people, it's, it's actually not the full circle word. That was the most important thing that Jackie said, Jackie said, you can be right and not be right.
And I was right about what my brother did and him saying that he couldn't talk to me, but I wasn't right because it was breaking relationship.
So, and that and like, so this year, like, we had the full circle moment a year ago, and it's, you know, it's been excellent. Like, you know, there's nothing been broken there. And it's even come down to, you know, that he invited him himself himself and his family for Christmas here, you know, so, you know, that someone's comfortable with when they invite themselves over and you didn't invite them. Right? So, you know, and it's just like, I don't want to be like, guarded towards these situations.
Yeah.
Or whatever, because I want to be like, I, you know, I want to feel that deep love, but maybe I'm afraid of that deep, like that deep hurt from my parents, like, because I love so deeply.
I think that is because when you said that I wrote down what you said about your parents, I think that probably there's a level of you protecting yourself detachment happens to you all. And there's probably a lot deeper, scientific and psychological definition of this. But I want you to think about when we are detached from somebody or something.
It's almost like we're putting up a wall subconsciously to try to prevent us from feeling lost. If something should happen that disappoints us with that person with that thing. Some of us even do that with our jobs. You know, we struggle to move forward because we are actually detached, we're not fully engaged. And so I would really just encourage you to ask the Lord to reveal to you
how to take the wall down subconsciously, like what needs healed. So, and right before I went to say that to you, God gave me the answer. So that's kind of funny. It's like brick by brick. That's what I heard him say. So you're going to take it down brick by brick. And what that means is like healing layer by healing layer, like you're recognizing, you know, not only regarding Monroe, is that how you said it? Is that right?
Monroe, that's the first one.
And Lily, but you also recognize it with your brother. So the Lord's helping you make some really important connections that are all leaning back to, you know, not giving yourself permission to be fully open to love. So what is the deepest fear that you have regarding it?
I guess the loss, the loss really, because, you know, like, like, I was best friends with my parents and that was that was devastating. Like, just it was so devastating to me. Like, you know, that, you know, every, you know, my brother didn't have that relationship with them. Right? So he had a total other devastation loss. Right? But for me, you know, my loss wasn't about the past or anything. It was just about what I lost then and what, what I lost now.
And that's what I lost in my future, you know?
So that's really good. So do you let yourself actually feel what it would feel like when you, because you said Monroe, you just didn't even feel anything. Like, are you actually allowing yourself and I'm not, I don't want you to stay here. Okay. But I think based off of what you're describing and talking about,
remember, we have to feel the feels so that God can heal the fields. I think that you need to think about how do I feel about Lily not being with me? Like how, how, you know, how do I feel when I hold her? And if you don't, you know, I think that you are really good. I see you even on calls, like the way you take care of her, you're being a great mom. You're being a great mom on whatever level that means for you.
Um, but I think the thing that is important for you to ask yourself, are you really allowing yourself to, when you're holding her really allow yourself to get like fully shift into that mothering spirit, that nurturing, like where your heart is opening up to love, because here's what I see happening is through your brother, through Monroe, through Lily, God is teaching you how to open your heart back up to love.
And guess what, when you come across your spirit mate, you're gonna have to be able to open your heart to love or, or you won't be able to.
receive them, right? And so, it's like, you know, where you're just going to start paying
attention to your feelings, or your, you know, that detachment, the lack of them,
so that you can ask the Lord to reveal to you, okay, Lord, and we think it's your parents,
but let's make sure it's not something before your parents. Lord, when is the first time I
didn't allow myself to, you know, really nurture someone else, or to receive love,
or allow myself to feel what it feels like to love fully, you know, where you're really looking
at that with the Lord, again, not getting out a shovel to dig, but just asking Him to reveal the
things for healing that are needed and necessary for you to move forward, because He's connecting
the dots, and He's showing you that this is something you're struggling with, but He's the
one that can help you take it down brick by brick, and literally shatter the wall of detachment
in a healthy way, not in a mean, harmful way, but in a, like,
hey, I'm just going to tap, tap, tap on this thing, and it's going to be gone. Does that make sense?
You okay? Yeah, I feel like it's, like, from when I was little, like, I don't know,
I just feel like I'm such a deep lover that, you know, when my parents used to take me to
old folks' homes to visit people, and I remember when the first person died, my parents were like,
that's it, you're not visiting no more old people anymore, because, you know, like,
it was a devastation to me, like, they didn't even know what to do with me, you know, and it was just,
like, this was some stranger, you know, that I went there to cheer up and make happy as, you know,
a little kid. Okay, so I just heard the Lord say to tell you that God gave that to you as a gift,
okay? It just got overextended, and unfortunately, and, you know, I'm not saying your parents weren't
good parents, but instead of just taking you away from that situation or ever feeling that pain
again, it may have been really helpful for them to kind of coach you through or help you through,
whether they could or had someone else help you through how to process death, how to process loss
and come back around on the other side where you can open yourself back up to love, because then,
you know, and there could be other things in between that person dying and you feeling that
deep pain and your parents dying, but right now we know two really big significant things, so I'm
going to go with that. So here you experience that big loss, and you're not really taught how
to process it, right? And now then your parents die, whether they died at the same time or they
whatever that looks like for you, the loss that you felt reinforced what you learned back here.
So basically, it's telling you, yeah, you cannot open your heart to love because this is what
happens every time you do, but that isn't true, okay? That's not true. That's just what the
dialogue the enemy is using to talk to you right now. Does that make sense?
Yeah. It's going to be okay. You are learning to love. I see you. I see you. It's funny. I was
just watching the Avatar movie, and as I said that to you, you know how in that movie, if you've seen
it, they kind of like say back and forth to each other, like, I see you. And literally, as I said
that, like, there's this like deep meaning behind that when they say it in the movie, and I just
want you to know that I see you, Crystal, and I know that your heart, you want to love, you are
loved. God has put a deep love within you, but you don't have to be afraid of that deep love, okay?
That's the past. God's going to teach you how to balance that love, and even if or when you get
your heart broken, because here's the reality, y'all. Every time we love, there is a risk of our
heart being broken, even friends. But you know what? We can experience a really beautiful gift
on the other side of that pain, and it's an infilling of fresh love, and it's an infilling
of healing, and God tending to us as our good shepherd. And so you don't have to be afraid
of that gift that's on the inside of you. And you can start to ask God to, I really want to encourage you.
I'm just sensing that when you were little, that you, like, were really hard on yourself
because of how that turned out when that person in the nursing home passed away, and you were
struggling to cope with that. And so I feel like maybe part of forgiving tonight is you forgiving
yourself for feeling so deeply, because it's not a curse, Crystal. It's a blessing.
And I realize that, I mean, you know, like, the reason I think that, you know, like, everybody
you know, has their own opinion of Pastor Joel Osteen. But, you know, like, there's one thing
that, you know, when that woman went in and shot in his church a couple of years ago,
and he got up on the Sunday after, you know, and he wept for her, praying for her. I was like,
that's like, and when I met his mom, you know, she was like, you know, that's the one thing
about him is like, he has this, this deep, like, this compassion towards everybody,
no matter what they do to him. Yeah, like, but that's a hard, you know, like,
I don't know, I guess it's a hard gift. It is a hard gift. Sometimes, you know,
it's interesting that I'm talking to you about this tonight. I don't know if you've ever heard
me say this, but I feel like God has given me a great capacity to love people. And sometimes
loving deeply is hard, because it doesn't always turn out the way that we want it to.
But you all, I don't regret, even my spiritual daughter's dad, even my ex-husband and people
that have mistreated me, I don't regret loving them. I don't. It taught me so much,
even when they did not know how to handle or, or appreciate my love for them.
There's a song that I walked down the aisle to, to Brian. It's from the Marry Me. It's called
On My Way. Jennifer Lopez sings it. Y'all will have to check it out. But it's basically like,
it's basically summing up that, like, every hardship I went through, I was on my way to
him. I was on my way to Brian. And I don't think it was God's intention for me to go through all
those things. But because I did, and I allowed God to heal me and help me forgive those people,
help me forgive myself. I have been able to receive the love of this incredible man on a,
on a, on a really important level that I've never been able to receive love before and acceptance
and, you know, silliness and all of the things that come with love. And so I just want you to
know, like what you've experienced in the past doesn't mean that's how you're going to always
experience that deep gift of love. I think God wants to teach you some new things about that
in the days ahead. It's kind of learning how to wield a sword, if you will. You know, I don't
know if I'm just making this up, but this is the idea that's coming to mind. But, you know,
when people first start learning how to wield a sword, they, I imagine they have smaller swords
and they are learning on that level. And then I would think with their skill that maybe they get
bigger sword and it's, it's no different. Like we have to learn how to wield the sword of the
spirit. We have to learn how to walk in our gifts and the abilities that God has given us. And one
of yours is the gift of probably mercy. That's partnering with the love there. And so I hope,
you know, to just see that this leads you into greater levels and capacities to attach versus
detach. So you're going to come out of agreement with the lie that I always struggle. And not that
you say this, but I just want you to kind of write it this way. I come out of agreement with the lie
that I am detached from people or I always detach and I can't grow close to someone. And I come into
agreement with the lie that I am capable of loving and receiving love. I am capable of connecting
and attaching in healthy ways where you just start to say that stuff and partner again with
those positive declarations over yourself and who you are and what you represent.
Yeah. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. I know that it's a, even that is a gift and God
is going to give you back a hundred fold for what you just poured out in front of all of us.
So thank you. God is good. You all, Gail, go ahead. And I know we're at nine 30. So if y'all
have to jump off, I totally understand. I am going to take Gail and Katie and shoot. I know your name.
I know your name. It's going to come to me. I see one more up there. Shana, right? Did I get it right?
Shana. Shana's number three. So Gail go right now. I think I got it right. Took me a second.
Gail, go ahead. Bethany, this year has been, I really have felt that alone type of feeling like
I truly have the gift that I can believe for everyone else. But
I really don't believe like I have so much unbelief in my heart that it will happen for me.
And a couple things came up, you confirmed it tonight when you said that you sent your
mom a gift and I was like, oh, drat, I'm supposed to do that with my three daughters.
So as you're saying it, I ordered the bracelets that I was supposed to do that a week ago.
God told me to do that.
I know he did and I struggled with it.
So you confirmed that, thank you.
Um, I think also when I was spotlighted, like little things came up in my, um, like, for
instance, uh, uh, Renee asked, what's your biggest failure, but God, God brought you
through.
Like I sugarcoated it because that was my biggest redemption story.
Like God brought beauty from ashes because when I was 17, I did quit school.
I did get involved in an occult group.
I was a glorified prostitute.
I got out.
He brought me out of that and redeemed that part of my story.
But then it's like I picked the wrong person cause I wanted to fill and I know what I was
doing.
Yeah.
I saw the flags.
I wanted to be loved.
I don't know how I don't, I don't know.
So, okay.
Let's, let's pause here for a sec.
This is a good example of like, ladies and gentlemen, giving grace to yourselves.
Cause one of the things I hear her saying, she's talking about when that question was
asked during a spotlight, okay.
Spotlights, as you know, when we do them in this community, it's kind of more of an upbeat,
it's more of a like, um, let's equate it to level one dating or maybe slightly stepping
into level two.
You're getting to know people.
So you're sharing lighthearted things.
Okay.
So she's asked a question, biggest failure that God brought you through.
And she said, I sugarcoated it.
And I can even hear as you're saying that to us scale that you feel some kind of guilt
about what you shared that night.
And I don't think you should, because here's the reality.
If you were on a first date and someone asked you a question like that, hopefully from the
coaching in this community, you would not answer and say, you know, the depth of what
you've been through, you might touch, you know, you're calling it sugarcoating, but
you might share at a very high level.
I went through something really hard when I was 17, you know, when I get to know you
better now, obviously in the spotlight, you might not be able to say that, but like, you're
going to save that deeper stuff or a deeper, deeper time and a place in the relationship
where it can sustain it.
So on the, on the spotlight, I can see where that would be a little bit tricky for someone,
you know, like myself or like you, where we've gone through these really hard things, but
it's okay for us when we hear biggest failure.
I don't always have to share, like, for example, I'm going to share something that I don't
always share that I was raped in college.
I don't have to, I don't have to say that as my answer because I went through other
big failures.
I wish I had gotten counseling for myself when I was married before.
I wish I wouldn't have waited for my ex-husband to get counseling.
That was, I feel like a big failure for me.
So, you know, again, like I want you to extend grace towards yourself.
That's why I brought that up and really release yourself from what I'm hearing in the
spirit. You know, we do this woulda, coulda, shoulda, woulda, coulda, shoulda.
I should have done this.
I, you know, if I would have done this, then this would have happened.
Maybe I should have done this.
And I feel like it's just this kind of like a wicked web that the enemy kind of weaves.
And he wants to get us stuck in it where we keep rehearsing and rehearsing what we
should have said.
And again, if I would have said this, maybe they would have thought that maybe somebody
would have reached out to me from the single spotlight.
I don't know what the things you've been struggling with have been, but I want you to know that
it is okay that you gave an answer that did not reveal that part of your life that night.
So that you can just be free and really see that God is continuing to heal and mend and
restore the area where you're struggling to believe for yourself.
I think it just really goes back to again, the value thing I was talking about earlier
and really understanding that you are valuable to your spirit mate and that you are valuable
to God and that God, again, like I started tonight out, let me go to my notes.
So I don't say it the wrong way.
The blocks we experience are not God being unwilling to give it to you, Gail.
It's often rooted in our capacity to receive and remember in order to have the capacity
to receive is having the capacity to perceive it for ourselves.
So since that's what you're struggling with, I would encourage you to ask the Lord, what
is the mindset shift?
Remember our minds and our hearts are connected, so they're one.
So what is the mindset shift that needs to happen to help you actually deep down in your
spirit perceive that it's possible for you personally?
Maybe it's writing yourself a love note.
Maybe it's doing a lot of really kind things for yourself in this season and owning that
you are worth the kind acts that you're doing towards yourself.
Because so often if we are not willing to love ourselves and be kind to ourselves, so
often we're not going to let other people do those things for us either.
Sorry, it's a little hard for me to hear you.
So can you like come a little closer to you?
Yeah, I think I'm trying to process it all because, you know, I worked in a field that
because I was a scrub tech that we put up so many walls and so we didn't feel.
So like between that, I'm trying to process that, learn how to feel again, and then all
this past, this Christmas, the past like really surfaced, like how, like I felt used and will
a man really love and see my heart and not my body?
Yeah, what I just felt like I was highlighting when you were saying that is like, I want
you, you're an amazing artist.
And so one of the things I would love for you to do is actually draw a picture of yourself
in this first one.
Don't spend a lot of time on it.
It's just a simple silhouette.
And I want you to put kind of like if you imagine a patch and this is not where we're
going to stay, but I'm going to have you do something with us.
You know, like back in the day, I said I felt like I was walking around with this
divorced, like this label that was condemning me.
Right. But I want you to write used.
And then what I want you to do is I want you to X a big black X over that thing, because
that is not who you are.
Yes, Shawnee, a scarlet letter.
And then I want you to draw another picture of yourself that you spend more time on, that
you really put some love and care into, maybe even color that.
And then I want you to put a different label over your head above that one.
But I want you to get that label from the Lord.
So remember, revealing for healing the cycle, you're going to process all the way
through to the truth, so the truth to replace the lie that you are going to be used, that
you are used.
So what is God saying about your identity?
That isn't what he's saying.
So leaning into what does he say about you and then partnering with that and
activating it, I think is, again, remember that sometimes it's a lot of little baby
steps that get us to the breakthrough for some people.
Other people, it's these big, massive swings and they're like getting breakthrough
like immediately.
Both are equally important.
Both are equally important, because every step of healing that you're experiencing,
you're learning.
something really important about yourself, about other people, about God himself. And so keep
going. We are praying for you and believing with you and cheering you on. I would love to see you
post that activation, preferably in the Facebook group. I tend to see those quicker. You all,
then I see the app group, but if you're willing, if you feel comfortable to, to post that in the
under that old lie that you are used and you're always going to be used into the truth of who
God is saying that you are in the days to come. Okay. Okay. Awesome. We're cheering you on. I
love you so much. Thank you. Katie, go ahead. I was laughing earlier because you were talking
about the clutter and I have purged my house. If we don't have a couch right now, we have beanbag
that's kind of laughing, but that's not what I wanted to talk about. I thought it was funny, but
so a couple of weeks ago I was really struggling on the online dating. I had Facebook date and a
couple of other platforms, but they were all the time was kind of running up, running out on them.
And I don't give out my phone number, but I had quite a few guys on Snapchat and I was really,
it was the most attention I had gotten out of the last probably six months.
Um, there were quite a few different guys that I actually had an attraction to and had that,
oh, okay, well they're godly men and they speak of God and, and not necessarily an action because
I hadn't met like most of them. But, um, anyway, I was just kind of struggling because it was a lot.
And so I prayed and I, I just asked God, you know, this is not of you, please remove it.
No joke. Two days later, my Snapchat like went silent. Guys that I had talked to every single
day just either didn't even open those Snapchats or they open them and just don't respond.
And then I got kicked off a Facebook date. I can't get anybody at Facebook to reply to me.
I've never said like a cuss word. I've never made a sexual innuendo. I mean, I've had people say it
to me and I just kind of unmatch and go on. Like I don't even report people. So I kind of felt like
that was a very hard stop from God. Like saying, okay, yeah, you're done with this now. Not forever,
but in this kind of season. So I've taken this time to really reflect and clean, like, clean out
my house. Like I said, I'm getting rid of a bunch of stuff and just really concentrate on my
relationship with God, but I'm not getting any like neon flashing signs of like, Hey, this is
something you should be working on or this is something you should be digging into. Or this
is a forgiveness prayer you should be working on or anything like that. So I guess I'm just,
I don't know if I should just kind of be baking in this season or what I should be doing. So if
you have any suggestions, I'm all ears. I have a question for you. Okay. So are you typically
someone that you kind of always have to have something to be working on regarding yourself?
Oh yeah. Okay. Well, that's why you don't have any neon flashing signs right now. Just FYI,
because I do think that when you said that, I feel like God is saying to just rest,
to just rest and enjoy kind of the bliss of this season. And again, I know you all, when I say that,
I'm not saying it's easy because when we're, we want to be with our spirit mate and we have all
these desires, you know, yeah, it can be a little tricky, but I feel like there's like, I keep
hearing the word bliss. Like God is, he wants you to experience kind of like Christmas in a fresh
way this year where there's just something new that you understand that bliss of like,
like Jesus came for you, like he came for everyone, but he came like, what does that mean for you,
Katie, without you doing anything like slowing down and just doing nothing for a little bit,
like you don't have to perform for him. You don't have to,
felt the Holy spirit. Maybe that's why the whole apps shut down. Like you don't have to
strive for your spirit mate. You don't, you get to partner with God. And I love that you had that
flurry of activity because I think it actually kind of encouraged you and gave you kind of some
confidence boosters that I think you probably were helpful to you. But God is, is, is wanting you to
that he can, he can lead your spirit mate to you. Like, like that he really can. And an understanding
that you don't have to perform, you don't have to keep working really hard on yourself. You just
get to kind of receive right now and whatever that looks like.
I think it will mean something different to you, maybe even every day, maybe every week.
That it's almost like, you know, the little advent calendars where,
or yeah, where they open, you open a little door once a day, or sometimes there's the ones,
there's, it's actually a house and inside every little door, there's like a little gift that you
open up or whatever. That's kind of what I'm imagining in the spirit. It's like kind of
every day God wants to just, he wants you to open the door with like this, like, God,
what do you want to show me today? What do you want me to experience about you today?
And he wants to just show you something new. And I think it's almost about you being invited
into a new season regarding how you pursue him and how you pursue like,
like things about yourself like this. It's not that you're going to stop doing the hard work
or that you're going to stop partnering with him and things. But I just feel like it's about
shifting out of working hard and always having to like, feel like you have to be doing something
to be okay. Does that resonate for you? Yeah, it does. So my spiritual mentor,
and I actually had a conversation very similar the other day because she said,
she's like, God keeps putting you on my heart. And she said, I think you're supposed to rest.
Like you're focusing on, you know, healing and doing all these things and putting yourself out
there. And I've changed, you know, places that I go so that I expose myself to different people.
And just, I've kind of changed so many things. And she said, you know, you've prayed for this
season of your life for so long, and now you're finally here and you just need to like, hang out
with God and just seek him. And so that's absolute confirmation. And here's the reality of this,
Katie, is what she's also saying there is part of what I've been talking about tonight.
You've been perceiving some things, and now you get to just receive them. Like you get to bask in
it. I think you kind of started saying something like that. It's like baking in it, marinating in
Yeah, that is, that is absolutely, I totally believe that that's that is the season that
you're in right now. Thank you. You're welcome. Great question. Really, really appreciate you
sharing. All right, Shauna, go ahead. That is so crazy. I was doing the same thing.
I've just been exactly like her. What do I do? What do I work on? What do I need to fix? What
do I need to, you know, go back over? All those things as well. But I was gonna say,
I'm sorry. This, this Thanksgiving, I was gonna give a praise. My son is 36 years old.
I'm sorry. Right, you don't have to apologize.
And he was born very premature. And he has a lot of mental issues. But it's really hard for the
holidays. Because he's very, he likes to like stand like right over me and just be all, you
know, and I told him, I said, Bob, I love you. And I'm going to spend time with you. But I need you
to go sit down over there for a little bit. And while I'm, you know, finishing putting my face on
whatever, but I mean, just I y'all talk about the boundaries. And that is really, I actually
use those that actually had a really, you know, and just would be like, okay, well, not today,
or just talk to him really, it the boundaries thing has really helped a lot. And then also with
my mother, I know I made a joke in the comment about my mom and your mom being sisters.
But she, she's, she's hard sometimes, too. So to put her and him and everybody, yes,
the personalities, but we actually for the first time, thank you, God had a decent or I don't mean
we get together and fuss and fight or anything like that. But the personalities are very stretched.
So we actually, you know, we took little breaks, you know, and kind of, but we actually did really
good this year. I was very proud. But I have been, I've talked to a few guys, I may I think
I've met one or two, but I just don't get past. I haven't been getting past the first
visit. I don't know if I need to go back through this stuff yet. Yes, I am trying. I've been like
Gail too, of lately, we've been fighting with it. But I don't know if it's my location of being way
out. Hundreds of miles away from everyone. It's probably part of it. But I don't know.
Also, what you're talking about, Shauna is really important. It's really the
crux of my message tonight, if you think about it.
The boundaries that you are learning to set with your family are so important to your
healing process and the way, like even hearing you tonight, I hope that you recognize how
much you've grown.
I feel like you're a different person tonight.
That's funny.
You said that.
I just went to a, um, I went to a lady, uh, Lisa Schwartz.
I don't know if anybody knows her, she's a prophetic lady, but she, I went to her thing
last April and I just went to her service a few months ago and she goes, I've met you
before.
Haven't I?
Haven't I met?
Oh my gosh, you, you were different.
It was just funny.
Yeah.
I, you know, I've coached you as you know, before, not only on sessions like this, but
like one-on-one and I can tell you that I hear a different woman tonight.
I you're setting healthy boundaries with your son.
You're setting healthy boundaries with your mom.
You're like, Hey, we're, we're together.
It's not perfect, but we're taking breaks when we need it.
And like, I just am saying to you, like that is not things you were saying a year ago or
whatever.
So I want you to take some time to celebrate your growth.
And instead of like working on our, or asking God, what should I work on next?
I want you just to start like keeping track of your wins, because I think that that's
going to continue to build your confidence and, and the direction that you're going.
But tonight, like the core of the message is like, you know, forgiveness and us walking
and healing how a lot of times that is going to unlock things in other areas of our life.
And so I believe that the more that you walk out this healing in your family relationships
and even grow in your confidence and things that, you know, we've been talking about it
is going to, it's going to change things for you.
And I do want to encourage you.
And I don't know if I told you this story before, but when I was in the bootcamp, the,
what we now call the heartwork, there was a woman, her name was Tarsh.
I think that's how you say it.
She was from Australia and I think it was birth.
I might be wrong, but she was from a very, like a place in Australia where there's not
a lot of people.
And I remember like, she kept saying, like, I don't think I'm ever going to meet anybody.
Like I know everybody here, like, you know and you all, she did meet someone and he is
amazing and they're married.
And so I don't actually remember how God brought them together.
So I'll try to find that out.
It's been a while since I heard their story, but that came to mind.
Like it, I thought of that for you tonight, that even if you are kind of far out away
from people, even it was Perth.
I said it wrong.
Perth.
Thank you, Aaron, Aaron Joy.
I want you to really partner with, like, sometimes it's just about us not seeing the
person or them seeing us.
And, and that is because there's things that need healed in us.
And like, when we step into that place, it's like, we, we become seen.
I don't know if any of you all on here, you can go ahead and put in the chat if you resonate
with this, but when I was going through the heart work and the healing process, it was
kind of like before that, I just felt like I would be out and about and no guys would
look at me at all.
Like, and I wasn't looking for unhealthy attention, but it was kind of like, I felt
invisible and it was really, really awkward and hard.
And then when I went through the heart work, it was kind of like, oh my gosh, like I would
notice like people noticing me, not even just men, but like women.
I finally, like, I was like, oh my gosh, I feel like something's different now.
And that's going to happen more and more for you.
The more that your confidence grows, the more value that you understand about yourself and
give yourself that gift of celebrating your wins, celebrating yourself and how far you
come, you have come.
I think it's going to continue to create this momentum in you.
That's going to change some other things.
And so I'm excited for you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Ladies.
This is why it's so important and gentlemen, both to not give up on yourself and really
ask God to show you how he sees you on a regular basis.
We are at almost 10 o'clock.
I'm going to go ahead and close this down for tonight.
Thank you for everyone that shared.
It's been really awesome to be here with all of you tonight.
I feel honored to be in this season, to be a part of this community and to get an opportunity
to know you.
And so God loves you.
And I want you to hold on to that this season, and he's not going to fail you, okay?
His promise is sure, but sometimes the enemy will try to delay things.
And sometimes things in us that need healed, block it.
Remember, God is not unwilling.
Father, thank you so much.
This night, I thank you for everything that you're doing,
God, in us, through us, God,
I thank you that you're increasing our capacity tonight
to perceive what you have for us,
to receive what you have for us, God,
that you are good father who gives good
and perfect gifts to your children.
I thank you that you would just guard
and keep watch over us, God.
Yeah, Lord, touch all of the hearts of those that are here,
those that are gonna watch the replay,
where there's loneliness, God.
Thank you that you would fill their cup
with the fullness of joy, with the fullness of their value,
that they would see themselves through your eyes, God,
that you would remove loneliness
and fill them with just people surrounding them
and them reaching out to other people.
And God, I pray that this would be the best season ever,
God, that we would come out of alignment of fear
and panic over this season,
but God, we would embrace this season
and that we would overcome it
and we would celebrate not only you in it,
but God, our ability to be who we are in this season.
And that isn't someone who's lacking something
because we're single.
God, we have something of value to offer right now,
right where we're at and even more so in the days to come.
I pray that you'll help us understand that
more and more and more in Jesus name, amen.
God bless you all.
Have a great night, everyone.
Bye-bye.
Thank you, bye.