Hello, hello, I'm so excited to see all of you guys.
I have a treat for you.
I have several treats for you.
But before we do any of that, let's go ahead and get the hi, how are you's out of the way.
So good to see so many of you, so many OGs here tonight, people that I have come to know
well and love.
And if you're new, then you have the opportunity to become an OG as well.
That's original gangster, for those of you that don't know what that means.
You can become an original gangster.
I saw the funniest thing.
Let's start off with a little joke here.
I saw the funniest meme, raise your hand if you're Gen X, if you're Gen X.
So 45 to 60 years old, Gen X, let's see your hands, Gen X.
We have a lot of millennials, we do have some baby boomers, that would be 60 and up.
And then we have some Gen Xers.
Gen Xer, Gen, okay.
All right, go ahead and put your hands down.
And then you guys know alpha generation is that younger generation.
I think that alpha starts somewhere around, I actually don't know.
I don't know how old they are, the ones, the alphas.
But okay, so on the earth right now, we have alpha, sorry I have to set this joke up,
but I want you to understand it.
We have alpha, we have the Gen Zs, we have the millennials and Gen X,
and then we still have the baby boomers, okay.
And we might have a few of the greatest generation still alive.
They'd be pretty old, but I know that there's one of my friends,
grandma just turned 100 years old.
So we definitely have some of those folks as well.
But they're probably not on social media.
They might be, but maybe not.
So anyway, I saw this meme, and the meme was just really funny.
And it just said, every generation gets raised by or has a blue dog to guide them.
A blue dog, right?
And then immediately it starts out with blues clues, and it was like,
the millennials had blues clues.
And then it's like, Gen Z has bluey, you know, this bluey dog.
So then it goes, millennials had blues clues, and it shows a little thing,
and then it goes to bluey, and it's like, Gen Z has bluey.
And then it goes to this old Hanna-Barbera cartoon with this blue dog.
And it's like, the baby boomers had, and it said this dog's name,
and I have no idea who that dog is, way before my time.
And then it said, and Gen X had, and then it showed Snoop Dogg
with a blue T-shirt on, and he was singing, it was so funny.
You got to be Gen X to love this joke, but as soon as I saw Snoop Dogg
come on the screen, I was like, oh my gosh, this is hilarious.
All right, so us Gen Xers had Snoop Dogg, Snoop Dogg, right?
If you don't know, now you know.
All right, all right, so a couple announcements.
One of the surprises that we have tonight is we have our very own
Renee Rizzo DeVore with us, newly married.
And for those of you that don't know her, she is an OG student
that became a coach, that became a success story,
and now back to being a coach success story.
And so we love her for those of you that, all of you are in phase three.
So you probably won't be seeing that much of Renee,
because she's going to be going back into the trenches,
back into phase two, where that love story accelerator lives,
trying to help people to get off on the right foot,
because you know that they need some help over there.
But we are changing up the entire program for 2026.
And so I really want you to get excited about the changes that are coming.
There's going to be so much more coaching that happens here
in the VIP community, because we want to get you moving forward.
A lot of you are stagnating.
You're not really making a lot of changes in your life.
You need more support to make those changes.
And so we have a whole list of things that we are going to get launched
right off the bat in January of 2026,
helping you to get unstuck wherever you're stuck,
wherever you're stuck, not just in your love life,
but wherever you're stuck.
And so I kind of want to make this disclaimer right now.
So just kidding, you will be seeing some of Renee,
because you might just find our foot in your butt, okay?
We love you, but you might just find a foot in your butt,
because some of you need it.
You need a kick in the pants.
You need to start moving forward.
You got kind of all sorts of things happening up here,
but not a lot happening out here.
And so we are going to take an assessment
at the beginning of the year.
All of you are going to take it
to find out really what do you need?
And not just what do you need, but what do you want?
What do you want?
2026 is your year.
I'm going to tell you right now, it's your year.
You can accomplish great things in 2026, and we're going to start out the year right.
We're going to have my good friend, but renowned prophet, Bethany Hicks, join us at the beginning
of the year for Times and Seasons.
She just released a firebook called Times and Seasons.
And I love Prophesy Your Year, and we do it every year, and we did it this year.
We did it at Rosh Hashanah, so if you missed out on that, it was great.
But it's more about not just learning how to hear God's voice, but also how to sort
of read the signs of the year, of what's going on.
But a lot of people read the signs, and they don't know what their part is to play in those
signs.
It's great if you did Prophesy Your Year, and God said, hey, in the month of May, you're
going to see a red cardinal, and this is what it means.
It means that I love you, and my eyes are on you.
Well, that's all great, but how is that moving the needle in your life?
I'm glad that God loves you.
I'm glad you saw a red bird.
By the way, they're everywhere.
But the problem with that is, is that how is that going to get you from here to there?
The sons of Issachar knew how to get from here to there, because they knew their times
and seasons.
You got to partner with the prophetic.
Remember, I just did a Supernatural Saturday about this.
You have to partner with the prophetic.
You have to take action on the prophetic.
That is how I've gotten to where I am in my life, because I don't just sit around.
I take the prophetic as an activation and an invitation that God is telling me that
I can have more and that I don't have to have less.
I take imperfect action on that, and I want you to take imperfect action as well.
We are going to start the year off right with Bethany Hicks on January 4th.
You will see some registration links to sign up for that, and that is going to be a times
and seasons night, meaning that we are going to know what to do.
First of all, we're going to know what season we're in.
We're going to hear from God.
What is 2026?
What season are we in?
Then we're going to know what to do and when to do it, and we're going to take action.
Yeah, it may not work out from the very first moment that you take action, but you're going
to continue to take action.
So once again, the disclaimer is 2026 is not going to be an idle year.
I have a lot of friends that work in finance that work as economists, and they've been
telling me that 2026 is going to be a really rough year, y'all, okay, but not for the
children of the Lord.
I believe that God wants to position us to be a light in 2026, and in order to do that,
we've got to get in alignment with what he's doing corporately and also individually, and
so we're going to do that.
We're going to kick that off on January 4th, which is a Sunday.
We still will be having prophetic night, the prophetic activation night that night for
whoever doesn't come to the Bethany Hicks event, but we will be kicking off the year
with that.
It's going to be a lot like prophesy your year, but with a lot less what to do and when
to do it and how to do it.
We are going to do different things for every month of the year and different things like
that, but it's going to be more about what's your times and seasons and what do you need
to be doing in those different months to partner with God for your promise, and so it's going
to be more like that.
It's going to be very supernatural, a lot of prophetic activation.
All right, so that's my first announcement.
My second announcement is, modern dating, does it suck?
Does it?
I was going to put stinks, but that language isn't strong enough because it sucks.
It really does.
It sucks eggs, and a matchmaker's guide to finding love in a swipe left world, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, so I have really been hoping, and I'm about to activate you guys before I let Renee
take over and love seat you guys and do some dating coaching because I have to run off
because you know what I'm doing?
I'm leaving early in the morning to go to Miami and officiate one of your weddings.
That's right.
I'm going to officiate one of your weddings tomorrow, Julia and Benjamin.
I'm going down there to officiate that wedding.
I don't do a lot of it, but I felt the Lord on it, and I'll do what God tells me to do,
and so I'm going.
I'm going down there, and I got to leave early.
So, Bethany, Renee is going to be my sidekick, be my trustee, ride or die tonight, and plus
she's going to put a boot in your butt because that's what you need, and I can trust her
to do that because you know I'm going to do it if I'm here, and she's going to do it too,
so it's going to be good.
All right, so just full disclosure, I really, really, really want this one publisher to
publish this book for me, and they said that they wanted to, and they were interested in
talking to me about the book because, you know, my other books, let me just get them
all out.
This book right here was published by Forefront and Simon & Schuster.
It's a great book.
It's really high-quality publishing, Forefront, Simon & Schuster, great book, just so you
know.
And then La Labore, which is the Spanish version of heartwork, I self-published these using
KDP.
It's not bad quality.
It's okay quality, but it's not my favorite quality of the stuff inside.
The words are great that I wrote with Holy Spirit, but the quality of the book, you know,
I don't, I don't love the quality of the book because you know, that's what you get when
you self-publish with things like that.
So I was really hoping that this was going to get an opportunity to be published with
the publisher.
And once again, y'all, you don't make any money when you do that.
Okay.
You can sell.
I sold, I sell tens of thousands of copies of this.
Do you know how much money I made?
Like a hundred dollars.
Okay.
I'm telling you, you don't, but I love a quality book.
I do love a quality book.
And so I'm still holding out for that.
I haven't shut the door on that, but I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to go ahead and
publish 500 copies of this right now.
500 copies of this.
It's going to go on pre-sale.
You're going to get your hot little hands on a limited 500 copy edition.
Okay.
That's going to come out towards the end of January, but the pre-sale is going to start
right now.
You guys are the first ones to hear about it before I release it to the public.
It's up for you guys.
Babe, what's the URL?
Yeah.
Post it in the chat.
So David's going to post it.
Right now, I just have my heart set on just 500 pre-sale copies, and you're going to get
some bonuses with that as well.
You're going to get some three bonuses with that, and we're going to mail that book out
to you.
When you buy, 25 bucks, by the way, for the book, when you buy it, it's going to have
another screen that's going to come up that is going to take you to another screen that's
going to let you put your address in.
So when we are ready, we will ship you the book.
So give us four to six weeks for delivery, but 500 of you are going to get this book.
And then I'm just making a little space for that publisher.
And then if that publisher does not manifest, because they told me they want to, they want
to, they want to, and it's hurry up and wait.
I can't wait.
This has got to get out.
God said, get the book out.
Get the book out.
Come on.
Get the book out.
So I can't wait on them any longer.
And then I'll really publish.
I'll fully publish if that doesn't happen.
So here I am to say this.
How many of you heard me talk about a season of firsts?
Okay.
If you didn't, go back, not last Supernatural Saturday, but the Saturday before and listen
to it.
Season of firsts.
My homeless brother got his first house.
Something else has happened.
You guys, I really want to release this over you so that you can manifest it.
You guys, it's real.
It is real.
Who knows who Heidi Baker is?
You guys know who she is?
She's the missionary to Mozambique, Iris Global.
She has, you know, so many people have been raised from the dead and healed and they've,
they've built schools over in Africa and all the different things.
And she's incredible, incredible woman of God and very, very, very popular and very
well known in the revival stream.
Well, every time I've always wanted to be in a meeting where this woman was speaking
because she's powerful and she's supernatural and she carries something that is just, you
can't just get it from a gifting.
You have to get it from experience in trusting the Lord.
And it's just incredible.
It's incredible.
And my friends that have been in meetings where she's been speaking, they've been like,
wow, it's just life changing.
And I just wanted to be in a meeting with her.
And I never got to, because every time I was somewhere where she was supposed to be for
whatever reason, she didn't make it.
Her flight got delayed.
She got sick.
Something happened and she never came to where I was, where I was going to see her.
So my friend had a Christmas party in Newport Beach that I was invited to and they're old
business partners of ours and friends of ours.
And we went to this just last weekend, David and I, down in the OC in Orange County.
And my friend said, oh, by the way, Heidi and Roland Baker are coming to this party.
I was like, what?
Oh yeah, they're friends of ours.
When they're in America, they live right down the street, Newport Beach.
I'm like, wait, what?
What?
Are you kidding me right now?
And you guys, not only did they come, but she spoke to just our small little like group
of 15, 20 people in the living room.
She spoke intimately to us for an hour, told stories, supernatural, amazing things.
And then, and then, you know, the host, you know, the host of the party was like, hey,
let's pray for Heidi and Roland and put your hands towards them.
I did better than that.
I fell on the ground because I'm sitting right in front of her and I put my hands on her
feet and put my head there and I'm praying.
I like, I have her by her ankles, y'all.
I'm not letting her go.
All right.
So, I'm praying for her, I'm praying for her, and then she reaches down and she puts her
hands on my head and now she's praying for me.
And then her husband, who hasn't spoken the entire time, it's just her telling stories,
he's, you know, they're both older and I think he's a little older than her, I'd say he's
probably in his later 70s.
He goes, well, I do have something to say.
He gets up and he goes, well, I do have something to say, and then he just starts praying for
everyone.
And I'm like, huh?
And then, and just, you guys, like I said, the beauty of the presence of God that these
people carry because of their relationship with him.
You guys, these people have ministered in Africa through genocides, through rebels taking
over the area, through ISIS, through stonings, through churches being burnt to the ground,
through all kinds of stuff.
They've just been through all kinds of stuff, you know, with the trust of the Lord.
And so, so rich was that environment.
I just goosebumps right now just thinking about it.
And she prayed for me.
And then, and then, you know, everyone was just kind of laid out just in the presence
of the Lord, just praying and just really enjoying some just beautiful joy.
They just released the joy of the Lord on us.
And I got up to go to the bathroom and I saw that they were leaving.
And she's like, and then she gives me a big hug before she left.
And why am I saying that?
Because this is what the Lord said to me, and I'm going to release this over and you
better listen.
You better hear it.
You better hear it and receive it.
God said, you've been wanting this for a long time.
He said, but it's never happened.
He said, but in this season of firsts, he said a lot of things that people have been
wanting for a long time and they got so close, but then it never happened.
He said, not only is it going to happen, but it's going to be so much better than you ever
thought it could be.
So much better than you ever thought it could be.
Those times that I was supposed to see them before, they would have been on a stage.
They would have been on a platform at a church.
The chances of them even praying for me, you know, would have probably been slim to none.
But in this scenario, not only am I with them, but I'm with them.
They're sitting right in front of me.
I'm touching her teeny tiny little feet.
Okay.
And she's praying for me and she's hugging me and they're speaking words over us of encouragement
and the joy of the Lord and the presence of God.
It was so much better than it ever could have been had it would have happened before.
Renee sent me a text message today.
She'll probably say something about this, but her Christmas cards have come in the mail
and she's ready to mail them out.
And guess what?
This is her first Christmas card married and it's full of pictures of them and their wedding
and all the things.
I'm assuming she sends out Christmas cards in the past, maybe her and Faith, which is
her very funny dog.
But the bottom line is, is that it's a first.
As soon as I saw it, I'm like, wow, this is a first.
This is an amazing first for her.
It's a supernatural first for her.
And guess what?
I, I've been with Renee.
I've been her coach.
She's in this program.
She's the success story of this supernatural program.
And she dated a few frogs before she met Brian.
She straight up in this program dated a few frogs that did not turn into princes.
And when I think that, you know, those, those near misses those, you know, those times when
we thought something was maybe going to be what we've been waiting for, this thing we've
been wanting, and then it doesn't turn out.
But I was at their wedding and, whoa, is it worth the wait?
And whoa, is it even better than expected?
And this season of first is going to be just like that.
Do you believe it?
Can you receive it?
You guys, I'm not done.
I've needed some, I've needed and wanted, okay, I haven't maybe needed, but I've more
wanted some dental work.
It's not covered by insurance.
It's considered cosmetic in its nature.
But I've wanted it for probably about 20 years.
I've really just wanted it.
You ever have something about yourself that you just really see it and you just really
want it fixed.
And it doesn't matter if other people think it's vain.
It doesn't matter if other people agree with you or not, because people will talk you out
of what you want.
They will tell you that you should settle and just be happy to be alive.
And they will tell you that you're being ridiculous because you want something over and above
just the basics of life.
But this desire has continued for 20 plus years, actually all the way to childhood.
But I was able to get some of the things done.
Like I got Invisalign a few years ago and it was, it was pretty good.
And you know, and it fixed part of this thing that bothers me so much that I'm not going
to tell you about because none of your business and that's okay.
But I can tell you that I could live without it and have a good life, but this is how sweet
God is in this season of first.
I just want to really release this over you.
I have long, so I have considered, I have considered all kinds of, of different things,
different people in order to do this thing that I want to do, that I've always wanted
to do.
And every time it just didn't really sit right and feel right in my heart.
I was just like, no, it's just not, it's not the right scenario.
It's not the right thing.
I'm just not going to do it.
But there is this dentist that does exactly what I want and you know, in more of course,
but he posts about, you know, people like me and on social media and I have watched
and looked and seen for years, kind of just followed this, this guy for years.
And when I tell you that I literally have just like, kind of just put that in the Lord's
hands, like, okay, it is frivolous and it's not that big of a deal and I just release
it to you, God, and I'm not going to really worry about it anymore.
It's not that I don't want it, but I don't need it.
And I'm just going to move on with my life, okay?
In this season of firsts, friends, I have the Heidi Baker first, I get home and I just
feel, I feel an inkling in my heart that I should send an information, I could fill out
a form on their website just for more information, right?
You guys, this doctor, not necessarily for all of these things, but this doctor, this
dentist is booked a year in advance, a year in advance because so many people want his
expertise for different things, okay?
I get a call yesterday from their office, from the information form that I put in and
just like, it's like a discovery call, like, hey, you know what, what services are you
looking for?
What do you want?
And I'm talking to like the office manager lady and I tell her what I want and she goes,
she goes, well, you know, the, the doctor, you could see a different dentist.
And I was like, no, I really, if I ever, if I ever did anything, I would just want to
be with this dentist.
And she goes, well, the thing that you want, she said, you know, we have a cancellation
for that.
She's like, this girl made her appointment a year ago, but she got pregnant and we don't
do any dental work on anyone in their first trimester of pregnancy.
She said, so we happen to have a cancellation in January.
And I said, what day?
And she said, January 16th.
Do you guys know what that is?
That's my birthday.
And you guys know I turned 50 last year and my birthday was kind of a bust.
So for those of you that were waiting for something to happen, you thought your change
was going to come at 30 or 40 or 50 or 60, and you thought that was going to be a magical
number.
This is what God said to me today.
He said, oh yeah.
He said, I could have done this last year on your 50th birthday, but I want people to
see that I can do anything I want anytime I want.
Stop romanticizing a specific number.
This is the time we are in the season of firsts.
And so I booked the appointment and I'm going to do it.
It's my birthday.
There's no way that that's a coincidence.
There's absolutely no way.
So very excited about that.
And I want to release that over you guys because I literally have been thinking about that
for 20 years.
It's not an accident that all this stuff is coming together in one season.
My brother got a house.
I got to see a hero of the faith that I've been wanting to see for a long time and got
to have intimate, intimate time with them.
I'm going to get this dental thing fixed.
Come on, you guys.
What do you want?
I'm going to do Supernatural Saturday on this, so it's going to be a lot longer than this,
but what do you want?
What do you need to try again?
Because we're in a season of firsts.
It's important stuff.
All right.
I love you guys so much.
I'm going to let Renee take it from here.
Father God has released over your sons and daughters the radical faith and hope that
this is a season that's different.
This time is different.
It's not the same.
It's not hype, Lord.
You are manifesting your promises.
You are doing it.
It is happening.
It's not our imagination.
It's not coincidence.
It is happening.
happening.
And so, Lord, we thank you for it.
We thank you for it, and we will not be left behind.
We will not be on the sidelines.
We will be right in the midst, in the middle of your blessings, in your manifestation,
in this season of firsts, in this time where the siege is over.
It's now.
It's not never, and it's not later.
It's now, now, now, now.
And I release over them the ministry of now, in Jesus' name.
Amen.
I love y'all.
Amen.
Oh, my gosh.
That's a good word for you guys.
One of the things I said to Jackie when I texted her the Christmas card was, you know,
I just said, thank you for holding space for hope with me.
You know, because I can 100% tell you that I would have not still been online in January
when I was matched up with Brian if it weren't for this program.
Because somewhere weariness would have won, right?
And I would have been like, oh, and I would have been, because I mean, I had been online.
God, y'all, I'm so old.
I've been online since before anybody else was online, like literally 30 years.
Like when eHarmony first came out and you didn't see each other's photos for like 25
weeks and you learned all this stuff about them.
And it was mostly Christians on it before the swiping era.
And so don't like pass by these, especially when you're listening to them in playback.
Don't pass by this word of hope that she always infuses in you because it is really the thing
that will buoy you.
Otherwise you can grow weary in doing good, right?
We can all grow weary in doing good.
And so look, I'm going to show it to you, y'all.
Look at, this is the Christmas card.
Look at how cute that is.
Okay.
So that's me and Brian.
Look at, there's the dog.
This is like, so Faye's been relegated to barely a photo and then that's Brian's children
and grandchildren.
Here's what you guys, which she didn't even know.
I've actually never sent out a Christmas card in my life.
I always wanted to do, like in my head, I always wanted to do cute photos of me and
the dog.
Cause my dog is really cute.
And before Faye, it was Max and before Max it was Eli.
So I've had really cute dogs and we would have done really cute, but I just, I couldn't
do it.
You guys, I couldn't do it.
And I have on my door, everybody else's Christmas card.
And like when it came in the mail, I was like, and the first thing I did, the first person
I texted was Jackie.
And I was like, thank you for having enough hope and faith.
And she's been dead on in her Instagram, if you don't follow her on Instagram, she's been
hitting it hard.
How as a Christian community, we celebrate whenever somebody asks for a prayer to get
a job, to get cured of cancer, to have a baby, but God forbid, we actually ask for prayer
for a mate or promote that we need a mate.
It's okay to network our resumes to get a job, but it's not okay to network ourselves
to find a good date.
And so I really, you know, and I, when I was running my nonprofit, you know, I probably
worked with over 120 churches in Nashville.
And I promise you churches don't know how to handle singles over the age of 30.
Like once young adult ministry taps out, they just don't know what to do with us until we're
55 and they dump us with all like the wheelchair walkers, not that there's anything wrong with
that.
And they're just like, all right, we're just going to put you out to pasture over here.
And so this is where I think every single person in the country needs to be while they
are writing out their single days until they get married.
And we're about to launch our married program as well, because we want to do that well too.
And it's sad to say that the church just doesn't know what to do with us.
And so really cling on to that stuff.
If you're ever feeling low and your hope tank is really low, pull up a supernatural Saturday,
listen, listen to these open things.
That will be the thing that buoys you.
I'm 57 years old, married for the first time doing my very first Christmas card.
And so I can tell you it's that kind of hope.
I borrowed her hope when my hope was too empty.
So I just want to say that to you to encourage you and you guys, I'm nobody special.
So if God did it for me, he can do it for you.
Like y'all are in this too.
So like I'm not thinner, prettier, healthier, whatever, more deserving.
Y'all are just as deserving as me.
Okay.
There were a few people that wanted to go into the love seat tonight.
Jed Britt, are you here tonight?
Jed, are you here?
Jed Britt, are you here?
Okay.
I'm going to spotlight you.
Let me try to find you.
Okay.
I'm going to lower some hands.
Let's see.
Is it Jed Casey, Maryland?
Is that you?
Jed Casey.
Casey Moe.
Yeah.
Casey Moe.
Okay.
I am going to pin you.
Okay.
Let's see.
Can everybody see me?
Hey, Jed, did I do that correctly?
Hopefully folks can see you.
But I can see you, so that's the most important thing.
So I'm going to try to summarize for everybody,
because not everybody saw your post.
She is currently in a level three
exclusive and intentional dating relationship.
They've been together for about two months.
They have met in the wild, what we
call not on a dating app, which I think is super funny.
And he has a lot of physical features
that are similar to your ex.
And you probably thought, no way in heck
I'm going to date a man that even remotely reminds me
of my ex.
So here we are.
But part of your conversation is a little bit
about how he walks out his faith,
how you walk out your faith.
What would that look like in alignment together?
So that's the skinny, but I'm going
to let you kind of summarize where you're at
and specifically how we can help you.
Well, I'm happy it's you, because I
feel like you had some weirdness along these lines.
And I don't know.
I don't have time to go and read through,
to watch all of the things that I tried to.
But anyway, yeah, the stuff that he reminds of my ex-husband,
that's kind of already been dealt with.
But I mean, he's a believer.
He loves the Lord.
It's just he doesn't have this kingdom mindset, kingdom
perspective.
And I get it.
I'm in business for myself.
I am prophetic.
I'm all these things.
And so it's not like I'm better than, but it's just different.
And then how it's the only thing, the only thing.
And so other than just more time.
But I don't know.
I just don't know why I'm having a hard time with this.
I think part of it, too, is before I was kind
of working through, what is a biblical spiritual leader?
You're going to hear the husband is the head of the house,
blah, blah, blah.
I mean, I'm responsible for my own self.
But what does that look like?
And so I was kind of in the process of just exploring.
I feel like there's something off there.
I feel like maybe I don't fully.
Something I think is off there, and I
can't tell you what it is.
And so I was kind of in process internally with this.
It wasn't a full on figure it out thing,
but that's where I was.
And then I meet him.
And something about it keeps on saying, it's OK.
And every single time, I feel like, calm your tits.
Just chill out.
And I'm like, I wonder about this.
Or this thing will happen.
And then within 24 hours, 48 hours, he's bringing it.
So I feel very at peace with it.
But I'm just like, it's this piece of like,
I like praying in tongues.
Like, I don't even understand all of it.
You know, I'm not like over here thinking, I know, you know.
But anyway, so he's just like, that's weird.
I'm like, that's fine.
Like, I like pray for people to like, I mean,
I pray for deliverance all the time for people.
I don't like that ministry, but that's, you know,
what ends up happening a lot of times.
And so I just feel like I'm in this like vein, and he isn't.
And I don't feel like I need a spiritual leader.
You know, I feel like I need a spiritual equal.
I will say, first, you got here two months in.
So a lot of what you just need under your belt is time
and letting that relationship kind of grow together
and seeing how God's going to have his gifts come out.
So, you know, one of the, when I was on staff at a church,
one of the classes I used to teach
was a version of the spiritual gift assessment,
personality profile, blah, blah, blah.
There's always a version of that.
And I'm of the mindset of the belief
that there are about, you know, 20 something gifts,
depending on which, you know, verses in scripture
you're going to look at, all of them are valuable.
I don't actually look at more prophetic gifts
in a hierarchy above the other gifts.
And so I would say that, and actually Brian and I
just started attending a new church
and we had to do our spiritual gift assessment.
And, you know, like y'all,
mine had pastor and leadership and teaching,
and his gifts were really different than mine.
And I've had to go like, okay, you go, you know,
so if I really trust what scripture says
about spiritual gifts, then I have to trust
that how God's going to use Brian in leadership
in the church and even leading me
is going to look really different
than how I manifest my gifts.
And in fact, I don't need Brian's gifts
to be exactly like mine.
And one of the things I used to do
when I used to hire people at my nonprofit
was I would purposely hire people who had gifts
and talents that we didn't have on the team.
I don't need more me, like more me is too much.
And so, you know, Jed, like God already knows
what you have as gifts.
And so he's probably going to bring you somebody
like here's your gifts and here's his gifts.
And there's going to be some overlap.
I think there's going to be some genuine overlap
but I think the ones that he's got over here
needs to kind of come out and flourish
while yours are flourishing.
And I'm just going to be praying that the Lord starts to show you how you can help His
shine, not that His look like yours.
And so like, how can you hold space to buoy those up?
Like another good example is, you know, I'm in seminary and I've been on staff at a church.
And so Brian could argue that the depth and breadth of my faith knowledge is bigger and
deeper than his.
And I've been a believer longer than he has.
However, his gifts manifest really differently and have provided incredible stability.
Like one of his spiritual gifts is faith.
And he has this calming faith that I don't, because even though I'm all great, I can be
like an emotional rollercoaster and he's just like, and it's just so calming.
And the other thing is when I first started going to church with him, you know, he's sitting
in there, he's sitting over there, so you can totally hear me saying this, but I have
said this to his face.
So he kind of grew up in a mainline denomination.
And so I would call it the frozen chosen, you know, which I worked on staff at a Presbyterian
church.
So I say that with a lot of grace and, you know, we were going to church and like, he
would just be standing there like this, not like this during the praise and worship.
And I'm like, he surely can't be getting the same amount out of it that I am.
But then I would start to really watch him and the guy would be like interior.
Right.
And, and so, and what I've learned is what he enjoys that.
So first, so I just, I kind of felt like when I saw your post in the Facebook page and I
got a chance to speak to it tonight, I wanted you to, to, to free yourself from thinking
his needs to look like yours and it is okay if his is even more quiet and it's not as
the spark isn't as big as yours.
I'm okay with all of that.
And then so, so know that he can lead you even without all of that.
I think the biggest question is like the mindset of, or like the, that's my, I guess that's
my biggest wonder.
My biggest question is the mindset.
Like I'm okay that it doesn't look like me.
I'm okay.
Like I'm a law.
I'm okay.
So what's the mindset then?
What's that you're struggling with?
Like, like I think like generational, I think, I think of in, in the spirit world, I think
like generate, I just think I see it different and he's like, I look like, and he's like
over there crying and worship, you know, like I'm, I didn't even know until, you know, cause
I would've thought he just wasn't enjoying it, you know?
So I mean I've had those, so it's, I don't, it doesn't need to like manifest the same
way as I'm experienced like that.
I'm fine with that, but I guess maybe because he hasn't had experience in the sort of churches
I have, um, or he's not drawn to those sort of like, I mean, think about, I mean, think
about even the 12 disciples, they had very different backgrounds, very different training.
I mean, when you think about the fact that Peter became the leader, I mean, Peter was
a stinking little fisherman and he went up against, um, a physician and he went up against
somebody who was obviously the tax collector who was really good in math.
I mean, do you know what I'm saying?
It's like, so I, again, just because he came in after you in God's economy of time, if
God's not bound by time, I don't know why I'm supposed to say this, God is not bound
by time.
So let's not, let's not bind your potential spirit mate by time.
God can do in a very short amount of time and his conversion and his exponential growth
and you actually might be the fire that lights under him that he will just go, and so like
you could be the very thing to spark, like, cause where Brian is today versus nine months
ago is exponential.
Like his, his ability to share and speak his faith has catapulted and it's because I didn't
try to get him to catch up to me per se.
And so your guy doesn't need to catch up to you.
He just needs to explode and, and so maybe be thinking about for you, and I don't know
what it is.
Is it your own comparison?
Is it your own?
What are people going to think?
And maybe that this is like stirring up in you something actually God wants to teach
you.
Well, I don't want to F up again, you know, like, I mean, you know, I got, yes, I feel
you.
I've got three littles, you know, like, you know, so just like I, yeah, oh my gosh, Renee,
can I please just, can I just jump in?
Okay.
I'm packing you guys, but I'm listening because I never get to hear Renee coach and I just,
I want to, I want to hear her too.
Okay.
Never.
Renee, I don't think I ever have.
Can you believe that?
It's crazy.
I know.
What the heck?
Okay.
So I just want to say this is that Jed, that's your name, right?
And I know who you are.
I've seen your cute little Instagram.
posts where you're all like, you know, just little life of the party and all the things,
you know, like your photo shoot thing.
I think I commented on it.
So here's what I want to say to you is that David is completely opposite of me spiritually.
And even though he has a long heritage, you know, he's been saved since he was four years
old, all the things, his spiritual gifts, like Renee was saying, very different than
mine.
And for a personality like yours, because I can sense that you're more like Renee and
I than not like us, and you're more like us than not like us.
The most beautiful gifts that you could have, the most complimentary gifts that you could
have in a partner and a spirit mate would be stabilizing gifts, would be gifts that
bring peace, like Renee was saying, that calm you down when you get a little too riled up
about things in your feeler, in your feeler gift that are just stable and solid and bring
peace to you.
And honestly, just let you fly high.
Like I always call it the string to your kite.
You need the string to your kite.
And so I understand what you're saying.
I was a single mom when I met David.
I know you guys have been married for 18 years.
You guys forget that I was all of you.
Okay.
I used to be all of you too.
All right.
Divorce, single mom, don't want to mess up again, don't want to do all the things, but
you have to be a fruit inspector.
I watched David.
He was my neighbor.
I watched him.
I watched what other people said about him because we ended up knowing some similar people
and had some things in common.
I watched him.
And so that's the more important thing is you're getting to know this guy is that you
watch him in different scenarios.
You see how he reacts.
You see how other people take him in.
What do other people think about him?
Not judgmental, you know, duties that want to just, you know, say everyone's not, you
know, doesn't, isn't right or isn't good enough, but that's what you want to do in this season.
You're only two months in, like Renee said, and this is the time to be a fruit inspector
and just allow yourself to see the fruit.
And how does this person make me feel when I'm in their presence?
Do I feel stable?
Do I feel peaceful?
Do I feel, you know, are his gifts helping me to, um, to stabilize my gifts?
Hmm.
That's good.
I like the string in the kite thing.
That's good.
I feel that.
And just enjoy this time, Jed, like you are in the early phase.
So this is really the time you should be just having a blast with him getting to him.
We are.
It's just this thing in my head that I'm like, it's not stopping anything, but I'm just,
it's a weird, well, it's a weird thing to discuss like in my, you know, I don't have
single front.
I mean, I have some, but I don't know.
It's just, it's a, it's, it's hard to articulate.
And I felt like this would be the place to kind of, well, I'm glad because I think just
based on what I read in the chats, I think a lot of what you were bringing up, a lot
of people kind of experience.
And I see that a lot when I look at the phase two women in the phase three, when I see people
kind of talk about it, we kind of all fall in this, like we're describing what we want
in somebody.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, that guy looks like, sounds like Jesus.
Like, I don't know how any guy's going to live up to the list that we ladies come up
with sometimes.
Like he's got to be high EQ, high IQ, high SQ.
And he wants to help me get on the way and he wants me to do this and he's got to be
five 11.
And, and I'm like, well, dang it, like the poor guy, like can't be all that stuff.
And so I love everything that Jackie said too.
And I think, and you're beautiful and you're amazing and enjoy, and that's like the biggest
thing that I've learned.
And as Jackie talked about, like the almost maybe like, see how much peace you feel in
this relationship and let the rest just kind of quiet or not, you know, you will know,
like peace will come on you and pay, pray for that peace.
And like, if you feel like it's weird that I have that, you know, that's what I, and
so I'm just like, I, I, I just, I'm the peace freaking you out.
Are you saying that you have the peace peace and I grow, I'm pleasantly surprised, consistently
pleasantly, you know?
So it's like good.
And I feel like I'm pacing myself really well.
Like I, you know, I mean that man, you know, he, I feel like he'd marry me tomorrow is
where he is, you know, I mean, he's holding it back.
I can tell, you know, and I'm not there, you know?
And so internally I'm not holding anything back.
I just, I feel like it's a really good pace for me and I, um, I'm just, yeah, yeah.
It's just, this is the only thing that I have a question mark on and I don't feel like I
have my own, you know, it's just, it's just different, but it's not bad.
It's just different.
And Tim, Tim asked a good question.
And that's the thing you want to be like, I think Jackie always says the fruit inspection
really big.
Like I watched Brian with other people and his character shown through like really, really,
really big.
And so to me, that stood out more than anything.
And so pay attention to that.
Pay attention to how he interacts with your friends,
with your family, with the Walgreens person.
That's what you're really looking for is his character,
because because one of the questions that Tim said was,
are you worried that you have different values spiritually?
And, you know, I would say your values are your values.
And so just be paying attention to that.
But again, you are two months in.
Go at the right pace.
Just enjoy yourself, get to know each other.
And I can't say this enough.
Spend time in community.
I put, you know, Brian in front of every godly married
couple that I could think of as much as possible.
And I watched them with him because not that I didn't love my single friends,
but I wanted healthy, godly marriages to speak into
what they thought of his character and his person.
And I also wanted him to feel like these are couples
we're going to be hanging out with.
So just be doing that, too.
And the rest will come.
And next month, if you have more questions, we can check in.
But I'm loving your glasses. I'm loving your look.
I think that he might be a calm and balm.
And if he's not, you will learn something really amazing from this.
I think that's the thing that we can take away from this program
is if we are God defended and we're dating healthy,
then even when the relationship's a no, we still learn and we still grow.
And there's no effing it up.
Like I know that you're worried about it.
Like if he's your guy, you kind of can't.
You know, you kind of can't.
And God will find a way to calm your butt down just a little bit.
And I'm excited to hear we are excited to hear as you progress along.
All right, girl. Thank you.
Jackie, I don't know if you can make me a host.
I realize that's why I can't I can only pin people, but I can't
make them. I can't do anything else.
But all right.
So the next person on the list, that was I will be able to take questions
in a hot second, but we have to at least go through the people that
pre kind of shared it.
Stacey Cleland, are you here?
Yes, I'm here.
All righty, girl.
I'm going to find you in just a hot second.
And I'm trying to keep talking, so I'm on the screen.
Hopefully that I'm mostly looking through the right.
Oh, yeah, that does pump you up, doesn't it do that?
Yeah, yeah, there you are.
There you are. OK.
OK, OK. OK, so Stacey
is currently at level two, just dating in just a few weeks
and they just had a third date
and because of conflicting schedules,
there's been some distance between the dates, let's just say,
because you guys have been matched a month and you've had three days,
although three dates in a month is actually not that bad.
So the first thing that jumped out to me when I read your summary
is it says that you are texting a lot between the dates.
Tell me how much face to face either on FaceTime or video or messenger
or phone conversations are you having between the dates?
Because I'm going to encourage you to minimize the texting.
You know, this is my thing.
You guys, we need to stop dating by text.
I used to help people at Hope Clinic all the time.
They would get pregnant and have babies and they could barely talk to each other
in the same room because they texted the whole way through the relationship.
So tell me how much conversation you're having.
Well, and I think that's the hard part, too, is because like it is just all text.
There was like one time when I tried to I was like,
oh, you know, this is going to be such a long time since we can meet.
You know, do you want to do like a video chat?
And he was like, oh, I think I'm going to go to bed and
walk the dog and go to bed.
So he's like an hour away from me.
He's an active duty army reservist.
So I think his schedule just kind of plays a hot role in that.
And he's not always around his phone either, too.
So I think that makes it tricky. But.
Yeah, if he's texting you, he's near his phone.
Well, it's not like during the day
because he's not able to have his phone a lot of the time when he's at work.
So but like I think there's interest for sure.
OK, so here's what I noticed, because here's what you admitted in your post
was there's a little like when you guys were together,
there was a little romance. Yes.
So the problem is and that's why Jackie talks about this a lot,
that we really shouldn't bring the romance and into level three.
Because you've been on three dates and in both of those last two dates,
there's been physical romance, but he's not pursuing you
with intention in between those dates.
And so it's it's unequal.
Like there are some it's not matching.
not congruent. And so it is okay for you to say, you know, like, Hey, once we start going
out on a date, you know, in between those dates for us to continue the momentum, even
if we can't see each other, my preference would be to FaceTime with you to talk to you
on the phone so that we have real interaction. I feel like texting at this point would be
for like, Hey, what time are you picking me up? You know, like what time are we getting
there? It is that. Um, so if I were you, I would be reigning in the romance and not
be forthcoming because it's not matching. Yeah. And so if you're feeling any confusion,
it's cause it's not congruent. Yes. Yeah. And so that's my only concern is that because
he doesn't have this next date, like you're kind of giving him a lot of passes. You're
like, well, he's going to be out, it's the holidays and he might have surgery and he's
probably worried about that. If a man is pursuing you, he's pursuing you. As Jackie
says, my favorite quote of Jackie is if he's interested, he will cut off his arm and use
it as an oar to row upstream to get to you. Yes. It's one of my favorite analogies she's
ever given. And so, um, I don't, cause you said, is it too soon on date for to ask deeper
questions to make sure we're in alignment? That's the problem. You're not having enough
day to day conversations. Yeah. So if you want to in date for go to these deep, heavy conversations,
you haven't, I don't know what your texting conversations are like. Hopefully they're not
heavy because you're just texting. No. Yeah. Yeah. So they're pretty light. Yes. They're light. And
you know, he makes an effort every day to say like, good morning. And you know, I hope you have
a good day, that sort of thing. Um, and the texts definitely are not, are not, which, you know,
to me that shows like he's interested in being intentional, but at the same time, I'm like,
I just want to see you like, or talk to you. Um, so I think there's just kind of a lot of that
there too, where it's like, no, take the lead on this bud. Right. But you, and, and how you, and
one of the things that Jackie lets us do that I think is okay, it's to ask for what you need.
So I think it is okay for you to say like, Hey, I forget what you said his name was. I don't know
if you did say what his name was. I said, M I don't know. Hey, M that's fine. So Hey, M just
so you know, I'm dating with intention and purpose. And so I want to date people who have actually
time to date and get to know each other in real life, whether that's on a phone call, whether
that's on a video or in person, you know, I'm really not, you know, I'm really not
wanting to just text my way through getting to know somebody. If that's where you're at too,
that's awesome. I'd love to keep getting to know you. Um, and, and kind of putting that
intention out there, what you're looking for. And I would say not giving him so much of a pass
on the holidays and surgery. Like, I don't know for me after three dates and I've,
I've actually been there. I've actually been, I dated somebody for two months in between the
dates. He got in the habit of only texting me and I spent way too many moments like re like
really reading between the lines between every text message, because there's just,
you're missing so much content. Um, so it's okay for you to say texting is just not enough for me.
Like it is okay if you're not in that space right now. Like, but just so you know,
like right now texting isn't enough. And then if you do guys have another date again,
I would really rain back holding his hand, letting him hug you and kiss you. Cause he's
Thank you. I appreciate that. Um, yeah, I, I agree that. And it went, you know,
it went a little too fast there and I get it. You know what, when you're feeling the chemistry
and you're all caught up in it, Lord, I get it. You're all, I'm not, I've, I've been there. Um,
I'm just going to encourage you to start to be, to be less available by text too. That's the thing.
Also be less available by text. Like, you know, like you can, like Brian would joke around and
say, cause like my common answer was that's a great question for a phone call. That's a great
question for a video chat. Like that's too clunky of a question for a text. So it's okay. Like in
our effort, y'all, sometimes we want to keep the relationship going. So we're going to keep
mirroring the way they're communicating with us. But if that's not the way you want to communicate
and you need more, it's okay for you to start to reign in responding by text, but also letting
him know you're interested, but here's how you would prefer to communicate. Yeah. Cause what
you want to do is play games with him and just, right. Well, and I kind of said that a little
bit too, like on the last day at all, I was like, no more of this, like waiting a week to ask me.
out again. And he was like, well, you've asked me out too. And I'm like, well, I want you to take
the lead, you know, like, uh, so I think maybe just, can I reiterate that over text? Well,
well, you know what, since he threw the ball back in your court and he said, well, you can ask me
out, then why don't you ask him out? Like, if you've already been on three dates, then why
didn't you say great. Then like, these are the three dates in the next two weeks that work for
me. Do any of them work for you for us to go watch Christmas lights, go sing carols, go do
whatever. So since he threw it out to you and said, well, you can ask me to, you can just say,
well, you know what, here's some dates I've got open. Do those work for you? And then if he says
no to them and he doesn't offer a counteroffer, then how much does he really want to go out with
him? Cause he might like you just not enough. Like you, like you want a guy to like you enough
that he actually wants to see you again. Right? Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
I didn't think we were allowed to do that after the first date. Well, you've already had three.
You said, yes, but I didn't think that we were allowed to ask them out again after the, after
you want him to take the lead, but he actually threw the ball in your court, right? And said,
well, you can ask me out. So I actually would kind of test that a little bit and go like,
you know what? I don't normally like to ask the guy out, but since you threw in my court,
here's a couple options I have. Let me know if you'd be interested in either one of them.
Renee, I want to jump in. Okay, good. Cause I write an entire chapter, a couple chapters on
this in the new book, y'all modern dating sex. So I might be wrong. No, no, no, no. Listen,
no, that was the original, that was the original coaching. And you know, God's really been working
on my heart about the modern day that we live in. And you guys were not going to ever go back to the
fifties and we don't want to go back to the fifties because I just want to let you know,
you guys don't know what was really happening in the fifties. The fifties was just patriarchal
propaganda. It wasn't real. Okay. Housewives and pearls vacuuming. Okay. It wasn't real.
And so the history of modern dating is going to have you shook when you read my book,
where does dating come from? All of you know, that's not mentioned in the Bible, right? We're
talking about courtship. We're almost talking about arranged marriage. If we're being fair,
the Bible mostly talks about arranged marriage. It doesn't talk even about courtship. There wasn't
really a lot of choice going on at all in the Bible days. Okay. And if the next person who
says something to me about Boaz, I want you to know there's a 40 year age difference between
Ruth and Boaz, 40 years. And unless you want to sign up for that, don't tell me anything more
about Boaz. Okay. And it was also a very obedience driven transactional marriage.
Boaz was doing something for his kinsman as a kinsman redeemer with a widow. It wasn't because
he was in love with Ruth, although she was young. So, Hey, Boaz. All right. So bottom line is,
is that the modern rules, the rules that we have adopted as, Oh, the guy should go first and the
guy should do this. And the guy should pay for the date. You guys are going to really, you're
going to be really surprised when you read my book about what I have to say about this.
Modern marriage is about reciprocation. And I believe that we have an opportunity for modern
marriage to be as much like what God expected or what God, you know, had in mind and created.
We have, we have so much potential to do that. It's West coast swing friends. It's not a waltz.
We're not waiting for the man to drag us around the floor. We're not waiting for him to make all
decisions. We're, we're strong women. Most of you have been single for a long time, maybe even
your whole lives. Guess what? You have some opinions about some things. You got some thoughts
in your head. You have a way that you do life. If you think that some man's just going to swoop in
and you're just going to do everything the way he wants it to be done. And you're going to be a
little pissed, you know, passenger princess submission. Oh, it's not going to happen.
Okay. And that's not the way God meant it to be. We are two equals that are very different. We're
going to answer Stacy's question. If you see someone, if you see someone not having any effort,
then you don't reciprocate effort. Okay. If this guy truly has a busy job and he's not allowed to
have his phone because you know, he's, you know, he's in the military and they don't, they're not
allowed to have their phones when they're on duty. That is a truth. Cause I used to be married to a
Marine and that was before phones, but yeah. And I just want to say that yes, you can volley it.
Stacy, you can use your instincts. You can volley it. If you think that he is making an excuse
to deflect, then be intelligent and just move on. Right? Just use your intuition,
be intelligent, spiritually intelligent, emotionally intelligent, and move on.
But if he's saying, Hey, I don't want to do all the heavy lifting here. I want.
I want to see that you have desire for this as well,
which I'm gonna tell you, 100% of men want.
100% of men do not want to feel like it is the 1950s
and they're the ones that are having to drag your butt
to the ice cream parlor, okay?
They want to see that you want them back.
They want to be wanted.
And so you're allowed to volley.
You're allowed to say, okay, like Renee said,
he said that I should ask him out sometime.
All right, Sadie Hawkins, let's go.
Go ahead and ask him out.
And like Renee said, if he's always too busy
to receive your invitation, see ya boy, bye.
Okay, that's great.
Cause like I, he like waited a week and then was like,
oh, what are you up to this weekend on Friday?
And I said what I was doing.
And then he said what he was doing.
And I was like, oh, it seems as if we both
have Sunday available.
So we did kind of go out and I kind of planned it.
It was my idea what we did,
but I think that is very helpful.
Cause it's like, I've tried to kind of take a step back
in the leading, cause I thought that was the coaching.
But I think, you know, I think maybe it's just more
like the planning, that's, it's not.
Listen, you guys, we want reciprocation.
We want both people.
You can't have minimal effort from the man or the woman.
We have to be sharing effort.
Can I tell you though, I've been married for 18 years
and I'm the social director of my husband and ours
on our lives.
And if in my life, if I didn't plan the things
and if I didn't tell him to put it on the calendar,
then he would be a hermit crab.
He would not be going anywhere.
He would not be doing anything.
And that is the majority of men, right?
The feminine is the more social aspect usually.
Now there are always exceptions to the rule,
but for the most part, you don't expect a man
to be the one that's going to plan all the romantic dates
after you're married.
You guys have to do this together.
Yeah, that sounds like what's happening here.
So I appreciate that.
Cause then it does sound like more that I can
kind of make that more obvious, you know,
say what I'm looking for and, you know,
if he's not into that, then I move on,
but, you know, kind of make that note.
My other question then was too, like, I know,
especially Renee, you were talking about like
bringing them into community and bringing them
around your friends and stuff.
Like, at what point do you do that?
When it was clear that Brian was interested in me,
when it was clear he was pursuing me and he wanted,
you know, like he wanted to make it exclusive,
that's when I started bringing people into it.
So for us, just because at the time when I first met him
in our vacation schedules, it was like a month.
Like it was probably four to five weeks in,
maybe six weeks in that once he started coming here
consistently every weekend,
cause he was out of town at the time, I started having,
so if we were going to have two dates on a weekend,
one of those was always with somebody else.
And so that's when I, I wouldn't necessarily do it
when I don't even know if we're in, you know, so to speak.
So you want to make sure like, hey, I really like this.
I like this guy and I think he likes me too.
And I think he's pursuing me.
I don't know, that's just for me,
because I know my family kind of got tired of me
putting a lot of men in front of them.
They're like, okay, can you at least wait
till you're like past date number four?
Cause we're getting really confused.
And so that was like our,
kind of the joke was I would get past date number four.
And if I felt like I really liked a guy
and he really liked me,
then I would start putting them in front of somebody
and not be, and I wouldn't say like, okay, Brian,
I'm going to test you and put you in front of this couple.
It was more like, hey, you know what?
You know, I want to make sure that, you know,
like we have some,
like we can build some friendships with some folks.
And so, you know, do you mind, you know,
having dinner with other people?
And, you know, he was really open to it.
But like Jed said too, it's finding that right balance.
Like Jackie's saying it's a dance and I do,
like you want to match that energy.
You want to make sure that those guys
and girls know that we like them.
But kind of like what Jed said,
and I bet you Stacey would say the same thing about Clayton.
When a guy likes you or a girl likes you, you know,
and you know, and once you feel the no,
you're like, oh my gosh,
I wasted so much time in the past worried.
Did he like me?
Did he not like me?
Did she like me?
Did she not like me?
Most of the time, you'll know.
And you'll-
And that is a thousand percent true,
but you got to give them a chance to like you.
Yeah.
Because I'm just going to tell you right now,
the only two people that know quickly are,
or not know quickly,
but will show you that they like you quickly
are anxious attachers, which were, you know,
anxious attachers are not bad people.
You could end up married.
It's okay.
That's just the way that they attach at the beginning.
Yep.
Okay.
It's not love bomb.
They're not a narcissist.
People can be healthy and still have more of an anxious attachment.
You'll read about that in the book too.
And then secure attachers.
Secure attachers, they just kind of know what they want and they're not afraid to make a
decision and choices.
Choices come easier to these people and they also, you know, they're not perfect people
but they have a healthier time getting to know people because they're not afraid of
rejection.
They're able to share.
They're usually pretty emotionally mature.
And then avoidant attachers are the ones that, you know, these people, you know, once again,
you could end up married to them.
I'm an avoidant attacher.
You could end up married to one of them.
They're not horrible evil people.
You have to understand this is layered and there's lots of nuances to attachment style.
It's not, it's a hybrid of things.
You know, because someone's attachment style is one of these three that I just mentioned
or a disordered attachment doesn't mean that they're not a good mate or they couldn't be
a good partner as long as they have other things going on.
Now, if you have an avoidant that's also a narcissist, that's also a disordered attacher
of love bomber, yeah, that's bad.
That's a bad combination.
That's three strikes you're out.
But at the beginning when you're first getting to know someone, especially long distance,
there's all kinds of things that can come into play.
So it's really important that you don't look for what you want to see.
You actually look for what's there.
And that's why the coaching is so important, you guys, because you might be looking for
what you want to see instead of what's really there because you'd think, oh, someone knows
whether they like me or not, not always.
You might be reading the signs all the way wrong because you want to believe that they
like you.
And or they might be rushing in because they think they like you and things are going way
too fast and you guys are headed for a massive crash.
And so please show up for coaching, especially in 2026, because these are the things that
the coaches are going to get more in-depth in.
Does that help?
Do you feel good, Stace?
Yes, that helps for sure.
Thanks y'all so much.
You bet.
David, right.
I think you said you had sent in a question to one of the coaches.
So I don't have that in front of me.
I'm going to pin you and then you can go ahead and just tell us what's the status, what's
the story and we'll jump in.
Okay.
Are you ready for me?
Yep.
Yeah.
So I sent it into the admin and they said they got it.
So I sent it to Reagan, but that's okay.
It's okay.
It's in the system.
So I had a really, I had a breakdown last week and it was horrible.
And I think it was my fault, but I trusted the wrong person.
So I had been talking to someone who struggled with being fearful avoidant.
They're in this community and I've known this person for a while.
And so for about two months, you know, they wanted me to know like, okay, like why I swiped
with them in a dating site, why are you swiping me on a dating site?
And then they kind of blew me off.
And then we had a half hour reconnect chat on the phone.
And then this person just basically said, like, I've never felt this way about anybody.
I really, really like you.
And in my head, I'm like, oh, that's way too soon.
This is going to crash.
And so then I just was kind of like playing it cool, playing it just like just being level
playing field and just kind of was like, hey, let's maybe just low pressure.
Let's go for a walk, you know?
And so I just text her and say, hey, like, are you up for like a 10 minute phone call
where we can kind of talk about this?
And the girl said, well, I'm only going to talk to you if it's about a date.
So if it's about you and I dating, and you want to discuss that, then yes, then if not,
no, I'm not interested.
And I said, okay.
So we had a 15 minute and I'd had a terrible week, I had a client pass away while I was
on shift.
I'm a social worker.
I had had three funerals that week.
And I was actually leaving a funeral when I was talking to her.
And I let her know that.
And I said, look, I did a margin check.
I have this much energy left.
I said, like, I and she was like, well, I really want you to defend as to why you're
worthy of dating me.
Are you worthy of my time?
You know, I'm a woman in this program and like, are you worthy of me?
And and I was like, okay, well, I only have a little bit of energy to do that.
So are you going to and I said, are you going to respect I said, I will do what you need
me to, but I need you to not text me a massive text that's going to say, hey, I don't like
you.
You're not good enough because I get those texts from her.
And I said, look, I can't I can't do that this week.
I have zero margin for that.
And she said, I promise you, I will not send you that text.
So she extended the call from 15 minutes to an hour.
I kept saying, OK, now we're at half hour.
She's like, no, no, we have to keep talking.
Now we're at 45 minutes.
OK, now we're at an hour and I had to cut it off at an hour.
And she just was like, you know, like you got to give me the time and the space for
this.
And I said, okay.
But it was a resource.
The whole purpose.
So let me ask you, David, why did you feel like you needed to keep doing this?
Like why didn't you feel like you needed to like honor your boundary that you, especially
that you had just come from a funeral or something and just to be able to say, Hey, you know
what?
I, I committed to like 15 minutes.
Like I already told you I didn't have the bandwidth.
I'm just curious what made you stay in the game.
Yeah, that's where we'll hit it.
So for me, it was, it was a, it was a resource.
It was like a worthiness filter, right?
Like Hey, I'm in the program.
I'm doing the work.
Look, I'm good enough.
You know, I wasn't good enough for you before, but look at me now.
I'm good enough.
So that's, that was on my, my fault for sure.
But what was happening was, is this is a resource at drain.
This is someone who not a bad person, but they saw me as a secure resource.
Like, okay, I need all of this right now.
And then in the end, my boundaries weren't respected.
And when she sent me a massive text saying, Hey, you know, like basically like, Hey, thanks
for doing all these things for me.
But really like, I want someone more than you, that you're not good enough.
I just said like, Hey, may the Lord bless you and keep you, may his face shine upon
you.
And she, but I, I, she said, you know, I know you asked me not to text you, but I'm going
to text you anyways.
Cause that's what I need.
And I was like, okay.
And so, and then I, I shut down, like I blessed her, but like I was waking up every night
screaming, fever, vomiting for a whole week.
Just like total, like it was like the levy broke and yeah, it was not good.
And I totally had a disassociated episode.
Like it was really not good.
And the only thing that kind of brought me back was just like speaking the word of Jesus
and knowing who I am in Christ.
And it's just saying, Hey, you know what, by my own words, I said to her, I said, look,
like I told her where the, where the switch was and I shouldn't have done that.
And the second thing is, is that, okay, Jesus, bring me back.
And so God brought me back to truth, but yeah, it wasn't good.
Well, David, I'm so sorry that you experienced that.
I'm sorry that your boundaries were busted.
And I hate that not only that you had to experience it, but that it triggered this thing, but
because it triggered this thing, this cascading impact on you, and because you didn't stand
firm in your boundary, like, I'm just curious.
I mean, this is like the heartwork person in me would go, like, when was the first time
that you tried to declare your boundaries and somebody busted past them and you didn't
hold them to them?
Because I know who you're talking, I mean, I'm assuming this is the person you had dated
previously that, you know, I know about.
Oh, you know.
Yeah.
And so I would just say, I mean, you always have the invitation, the option to say no.
Like, you guys, just because we're all in this program doesn't mean we owe anybody anything.
If you're not being kind, everybody has the opportunity to say, you know what, my answer's
no and I respectfully decline to keep this conversation going and I wish you nothing
but the best, period.
And if it means that you have to block her number afterwards and you block her number,
like, we don't have to hold space for someone else's unhealth, even if it's somebody that's
in the program.
That's not fair.
But for you, Dave, I'm, I've just gotten to know you so well and I'm just curious why
you held space for as long as you did, because I think there's an opportunity for you, your
own healing, like, which she did sucked, but I feel like there's a real opportunity for
you to get some breakthrough because you allowed her to kind of bust through a few
times in a few different ways, your boundaries, and it also, like, I'm wondering what really
caused all of this stuff, because I hate that you spiraled, like, that makes me so aggrieved
for you that you spiraled.
And so that tells me something got triggered that God still wants healing for you.
Mm hmm.
So one, my mom asked me the same thing, almost word for word this morning.
She said, she said, you're smart, bub, like, you already know, you figured this whole thing
out.
But she's like, but why are you giving this person permission when you don't give anyone
else permission?
You know, like, you know who you are in Christ, you set your boundaries and yet you keep letting
this girl walk all over them.
Why is that?
And I think part of that is rooted and I was abused.
Like, I was in a relationship for seven years where the girl beat the shit out of me.
out of me. Like, it was bad, like put bullets under my pillow, like bad, bad, bad. And sorry,
trigger warning. I'm not trying to trigger anybody. I apologize. So please give me some
grace. But, and her parents was always like, are you worthy enough for us? And it was just
a resource drain. It was they were trying to draw from my secure energy. But it was
always in the guise of, are you good enough? Are you good enough? Are you good enough for
me? And so I think, like, she was just kind of saying, like, hey, like, I'm in Jackie
Dorman's program. I'm a top class woman to get me, you got to prove. And you and I both
know that's bullshit. That's bullshit. But sorry, but you know what?
So what could be an answer you can have ready? For the next time anybody would remotely say
something like this to you? Like, what could be? What could be an answer you could have
in your back pocket? Like looking back now, what's the healthiest answer you can respond
with?
Yeah, sorry. I apologize for cursing, not trying to set anybody off.
No, no, no. You're good.
So I think for me, my answer is, and I'd already wrote this today, working with the Lord, is
that I know who I am in Christ. And he is always the one that calls me worthy. And I
don't have to prove myself to anybody. And if they are the right one, they're already
going to know who I am in Jesus, because I'm going to be leading, and I'm leading in who
I am and how God made me to be. Right? And so I don't, I should never have to prove who
I am. And that should never come at the cost of my own clarity and peace of mind and knowing
who I am in Jesus.
Yeah.
All right. Let me jump in here for a sec.
I'm so glad. Please do, Jackie.
Okay. So first of all, you guys, we have a lot of, whether someone invited you to the
program or you just met them here, we do have a lot of relationships, not a lot, but we
do have relationships in the program that don't work out. We do have a lot that work
out and they get married. That's great too. But so let's make sure that we know there's
two sides to every story. All right?
Absolutely.
We have no idea who this person is and it doesn't matter. We don't need to know. But
I'm just saying, you know, if anyone is figuring it out because they know both of you or they
just know whatever, we just want to make sure that we're being fair and saying, hey, there's
two sides to every story. Because like Renee said, we have to look and see if everything
that we share is a hundred percent accurate and we're not seeing it through a trauma filter.
We're not seeing it through a victim filter. If it's a hundred percent accurate, what we're
describing has happened in these broken relationships, then we have to ask ourselves, why, you know,
why did I choose this? Right? It's still about us choosing. It's not about victim shaming.
Okay. We can be victimized for sure, but we don't want to be victimized over and over
again. And in order to help that, prevent that, we have to own our side of the street.
We have to own our side of the street and we have to dig in. And I love your answer,
David. You know, you got to be whole in Christ and we do have to be whole in Christ. But
here's the thing. None of you have seen Jesus. All right. Except one place through other
people. None of you have seen Jesus. I mean, he might appear to you in a dream or vision
or something, but we need Jesus with skin on it. And that's why relationships so important.
And that's why I've been hitting hard. Like Renee said, on my Instagram, I've been hitting
hard this idea that God is enough for us, that Christ is enough for us. God himself
said no to that. He's the one that said we need to exist in like community, just like
he exists, father, son, and Holy spirit in light community. We need to exist in light
community. Why? Because this is how we're matured. So David, the only way that you're
ever going to really be whole in Christ is to be healed in family. And I really want
to just encourage you. That's one of our mottos here, whole in Christ, complete in
marriage, healed in family. I want to encourage you to show up here, keep showing up here,
but also in proximity, in community where you can, like I did with Heidi, I put my little
head, my hands on her little feet. You know, I want you to really prioritize in 2026, really
good in-person community that can call you up and call you out, continue to tell you
who you are in Christ, continue to accept you, continue to refine you. Iron sharpens
iron, continue to do those things because that is going to be what helps you walk out
your hard work so that this doesn't happen again.
Yeah, for sure. And I 100% agree with you. I think, yeah, that like we're not our, like
our wiring doesn't, doesn't not mean we don't love Jesus. It doesn't mean we're not stride
like, doesn't mean we're not like walking with the Lord, right? It's just wiring. And
so I think as the Lord corrects us and teaches us, you're right. I mean, I'm not perfect
either, not at all. And I've never, I've never claimed to be, but, but what I know is, is
I know who I am in Jesus.
It's very difficult for us to walk with Jesus without walking with others.
Even Paul said, follow me as I follow Christ.
I think that we have to, I think that this is one of the missing components to the revival
stream preaching.
Different denominations get it differently, but this whole charismatic non-denominational
movement tries to make people feel like they should be whole in Christ on their own without,
you know, Christ being shown to them and their wholeness coming from human relationship.
Please friends, that is the model of the Bible.
It is the model of the Bible.
You will not get to wholeness in Christ on your own.
You're not going to just get zapped from heaven.
I don't care how long you pray.
I don't care if you sign up the carpet.
I don't care if you're in 24 seven prayer movements where all you're doing is praying
and worshiping.
You're going to get spiritually dysmorphia.
You're going to get spiritual dysmorphia and stuff like that.
If you do not have the human component in it as well.
So I just wanted to tell you all of that.
That was good.
That was good stuff.
We're here with you, David.
You got this buddy.
Thanks, Risa.
You bet.
Denise, you have your hand raised.
Did you actually have a love seat question for us or is it raised from something before?
No, I had one, but I think Hunter was before me.
Hunter, do you have a dating question for us?
You're muted though.
Yeah.
It was about my trip and how I was interacting with women in my age that went on the trip
with me.
Is there a question?
Yes.
Go ahead.
I was going to talk about how I went and how I interacted.
I want to see how did I do.
Okay.
Tell me a little bit.
Well, it's been months since I came back from the trip in the Mediterranean.
I was in a travel group from our church.
I saw there were women who were in my age group who aren't married.
Well, I don't see them married on the outside, but I've taken into consideration what I should
do.
I decided to try and hone my social skills and what I learned from the heart work here
and interact with them.
Where do I start?
I saw some ladies in the meeting and then I met the church to drive.
We met the church to drive and decided to talk and interact at a level one relationship
to the airport.
There I saw they were actually Christian women, the legit ones, not the fake ones looking
for a man.
Throughout the trip, I just saw what I wanted and what I would not do.
Think about how can I interact.
Think about in the past what people like or what you did like with people.
Try to apply that.
Throughout the trip, I thought about what I did not do is to be possessive.
When we went on tours, even in Maricos, they would go on their own and talk and then I
would not follow because I'm thinking, why am I wasting my time trying to pursue and
be possessive and make sure they aren't seeing someone trying to be intrusive question, not
even giving a sign that I'm hitting on them.
One of them I cussed and she got turned off.
But I don't beat myself up.
So think about it and say it was an honest mistake and move on.
At the hotel, I sat across from one who is cute and good looking but also a woman of
God.
I gave out the best version of myself.
She liked the fact that I refused to be defined by my special needs circumstance.
She saw it as attractive and respected me for it as a positive direction to find it
very fulfilling.
So I made a level two relationship.
But after the date, when we sat together and she went out to have a girl talk with her
girls, they became clear this may not go into level three relationship.
Later we boarded a cruise and when we got and then one I got to walk to her room, walked
her over to her room, like a guy would.
And then the other one woke me up just in time so we could go off to Ephesus.
When we got to Rhodes exploring the ruins of the fortress, the leader of our group and
her husband Esther, Esther and her husband John, they came to me and said, Hunter, that
was a great job, how you're handling, behaving well with them.
I was like, yeah, if they were going to be in a relationship, I would see signs by now.
But if they were in a relationship, seeing someone they would talk about unless they're
doing something in their girl talk.
But it looks like they're not, they just want to go out and meet and go around a lot.
Something that I think I should start doing more.
And then we got to Rhodes.
So as her husband came, he said, appreciate how well you behave.
I'm asking, not looking or trailing them to make it happen.
Instead I'm asking, why do I want to pursue them?
They aren't pursuing me either way.
She did say, Hunter, you don't want to be in a relationship for the sake, Esther did
tell me, you don't need to be in a relationship for the sake of it.
Plus there are women, if they are the woman of my life or spirit, a.k.a. spirit mate,
I'd see different behavior towards them.
Next up we went to Malta.
Malta and half those sisters in Christ left to go back to the States and the rest of us stayed and we went on a trip to Malta.
One of them I made a remark saying, you made some kind of compliment to her, but she took it as a remark and got offended.
And I was like, well, some people make remarks to me, look at that, but I guess women are not like men who will take it more personally than me.
Next up, I met this widow who's 60.
Okay, well, for the sake of time, Hunter, this is great.
And I love that you're writing down your thoughts.
This is great.
This is a huge, this huge upgrade.
But why don't you just ask us about any of, it sounds like you were interacting really well, that you were being very self-aware about whether there was interest or not interest.
You were sharing things with people and showing people who you are.
I think that's all really wonderful.
Is there any, is there anyone on this trip that you thought it could escalate into a level two relationship?
Is there any question you want to ask us about a potential relationship?
Yeah.
Level three is the widow is coming to.
All right, let's go ahead and skip to that because we have six minutes left and there's one more person who needs to go.
All right.
That's all.
We'll start with the men's group later.
Hard work.
Well, just tell us about the widow.
What happened?
Well, she was 60 and she really liked, liked interacting, connected well with me.
We, we looked good for it.
She was walking with me.
We did some things with like, we sat on the bus together.
She got, we got to share, we got to find common grounds like matches and our upbringings.
We even got to, she shared, sat with me.
We got to sit together at the restaurants, at the local restaurants, and she even paid for it when I insisted too.
And then she even talked about her ex-husband, I mean, her husband, who was a devotee.
She had it about her husband who passed away from COVID.
Okay.
So she's 60?
Yeah.
And how, can you remind us how old you are?
37.
But the thing is, I got a taste of, that was, that was the most intimate connection I've had because these are tastes of, I think these are tastes of, whatever happened with, these are ingredients I think I need if I'm to enter a level three relationship.
Yeah, no, absolutely.
Got a taste of it.
Do you feel like she was, do you feel like she was just like, you know, developing a friendship with you or did you get the feeling that she was romantically interested in you?
More like a friendship pattern, but I think.
But, but at the same time, I didn't, it was like, why are you doing, I asked her a question, why are you sticking around me?
Like, like, like a camp follower kind of person.
And she said, oh, I just, not good to be alone.
It's like, it's like, don't like being alone.
It's okay to be next, be with someone on the trip too.
Yeah, that's awesome.
So I figured, no, let's just get some experience.
Well, Hunter, you're doing great and you've come such a long way and I just want to praise you for that.
And, you know, I believe that 2026 is going to be a beautiful year of you meeting someone who sees how much effort and work that you've put in.
You haven't given up.
Guys, Hunter's been in our group for about two years.
He has not given up.
He's continued to work on himself, continue to grow.
And I just know that he's going to meet his spirit mate soon and I'm excited for him.
And hopefully these are new skills when I go on a cruise in January.
Yes.
Yes, he will be on the cruise in January and that'll be great.
Okay.
We had one last person, Renee.
So let's go ahead and wrap her up.
All right, Denise, you are it.
Can you guys hear me?
Yes.
Awesome.
So I started the program in January and I dated one guy like four times.
But I realized in the beginning of the program I was dealing with the poverty mindset.
So I had like a breakthrough with poverty.
And so then we're talking about all the lists and what's on your list and what's the spiritual list and their preferred list.
And so I was like, Lord, like help me like deduce what my list should be.
And so obviously we all want a wealthy man.
Like I'm not going to sugarcoat that, but I'm like, Lord, that's a preferred, not a mandatory.
And so the guy I dated fell through and now I'm dating this other guy and he's like from out of state.
So I live in Los Angeles.
So the men here are from Los Angeles and that's all I'll say about that.
But he's from like Texas and so he doesn't have a car and he's in this situation again where the finances aren't beautiful.
And I was listening to one of the things that Jackie was saying and she's like, some of you ladies are settling for jesters when you need a king or believing for a king.
So my question is, like, how do I know should I be believing for the king?
Am I being too like overly sticky on like I want the king and I'm for the jester?
Or are there things like I could know and like would lead me to know what I should be believing for in that specific area of like finances?
Of only finances.
Because I think that when Jackie, when she talks about a jester versus a king, I think
she's talking about the full package, his character, his faith, his mindset, and all
of it.
Because when you made the comment, we all want a wealthy man, and then you made a comment
about LA men, I just want to make sure you're not generalizing populations.
Like I heard you make two comments in under two minutes that made me go, I don't want
you to stereotype that men at a certain income level are not going to be jesters.
Because you can have an asshole who makes a ton of money, and you can have a really
good guy who makes a decent paycheck.
And so you're looking for a man of quality and character, and they're moving forward
in all of the areas of their life.
That's what you're looking for.
Is he willing to grow in his financial stability?
Is he willing to grow in his spiritual walk?
Is he willing to grow in his career or his covenant with you?
So that's what you're looking for.
You're looking for somebody who's kind of pursuing that.
And different people are going to have different financial stories.
And so you don't want...
So I don't know this guy that doesn't have a car.
I don't know if he's not a man of character, if he's not a kingly man, that attitude will
show up in all of the areas of his life.
Do you know what I'm saying?
It's going to be in how he treats you on a date.
It's going to be in how he talks about his job, but if he's like, well, my job's kind
of okay.
And, well, I really don't want to learn anything new.
And I really don't feel like going to the gym.
Do you know what I'm saying?
If he's got a lazy mindset and a not wanting to move forward growth mindset, it's going
to show up in all of the ways that he's dating you.
I think that's how it's going to help you see, am I dating a king or am I dating a man
of caliber?
And you guys, that's true for all of us, right?
We've all seen somebody who is really high.
They could be the CEO.
They could be a high income.
They can have a really big degree.
They could be really hot.
They could have something on their pedigree that makes them look amazing.
But again, going back to being a fruit inspector, look at the way they are in life and the way
they treat you, the way they treat other people.
Do other people respect them and admire them?
That's how you find your kings and queens.
And it's not...
That makes a lot of sense.
Does that?
Okay, good.
Yeah, that helps a lot.
Thank you.
And be open.
I mean, I'm just going to say this, y'all, we don't have enough people going into the
trades right now.
And both of my brothers are blue collar workers.
Their wives stayed home, did not have to work.
They got to raise the kids.
They have put all of their kids through college.
They have married three daughters.
And so let us not discount blue collar workers.
Let us not discount men or women in careers that we think aren't top of the line.
And I don't know why I felt like I needed to say that because somebody is going to be
asking somebody out and they're going to find out that they're an electrician or a plumber
and you're going to be ready to turn her in.
Like you guys, there is a gorgeous, godly man.
His name is Emmanuel.
He's in his mid 40s.
He works at this manufacturing plant that I have to do chaplain visits.
And I remember thinking in the back of my head, he works out, loves the Lord, but like
how many women wouldn't want to date him because he's like a factory worker, working crazy
shift hours.
Like, do you know what I'm saying?
So I want to make sure that we hold space without judgment on that.
I don't know.
I hope that helps kind of what you're saying.
Well, what triggers me is like, I'm like a big personality person, right?
So if we click personality wise, I don't care what you do, but I find myself because I don't
know why, but I find myself with men that have great personality, are good looking,
but I'm always lifting them up financially.
And I'm tired.
You know what I mean?
We don't want you doing that girl.
We don't want you doing that.
Right.
So it's like, where's that love?
I guess I have to learn it for myself, but where's that level to where I just want you
to pull your own weight.
You know what I mean?
That's all.
That's okay girl.
Denise, that is okay.
So he doesn't have to be wealthy to pull his own weight.
He just has to be stable to pull his weight.
And it is okay.
We're not asking you to financially take care of another person.
Oh no.
And I didn't, I didn't interpret that that way.
I'm just like, what are signs to like, what, what level, not level should I be looking
for, but what should I be looking for that are like good or bad in that area?
Because I'm obviously sensitive to that area.
Yeah.
Clearly for you.
For sure.
And that's a hot button somewhere.
And I, girl, I get it.
So just be paying attention to how a man treats you.
Just be being paying attention to, um, seeing if he honors you and he asks you on a date.
Now he may not be able to ask, take you on a Michelin date, but you know, he might have
heard about that.
Like he might take you on a date.
I just want his time.
And give you a really good appetizer.
I don't know.
Yeah.
But just lay it before the Lord and just trust, and just trust that.
Maybe that is back to that poverty mentality, like, okay, only guys of this, I can only
attract the deadbeat guy.
And maybe the Lord-
Well, that's the thing they say, right?
They say you don't attract what you want, you attract what you are.
And part of my question is, am I still struggling with this?
Like, do I need more healing?
That's what I could feel.
Like, I could feel your energy kind of around, this is about me.
And so, take a look at that.
I mean, take a look at, do I deserve good?
Do I deserve amazing?
Do I deserve to be treated well?
And you deserve all of that, Denise.
Put a Post-it up on your mirror that says, you know, I'm a daughter of the king.
I deserve to be treated with respect, and with kindness, and with love.
Like, keep telling yourself that.
Make sure your profile, you know, showcases that.
Make sure the questions that you answer showcase that.
Speak into it, even on the days that you don't believe it.
Like, just constantly speak truth out loud.
And you guys, I think Jackie said this too, but the enemy can throw, he can whisper crap
in our ear, but he can't read our mind.
So, sometimes when we rebuke the enemy, we rebuke him in our head, but he can't hear
you.
So, you have to rebuke him out loud.
Yeah.
So, you want to declare, there is something about declaring things out loud.
So, anytime you feel like you are not worthy of a good man to treat you well, then just
tell that lie, and tell the enemy to go back to hell where he belongs.
You get to do them.
You can tell them to go to hell, but start affirming and reminding yourself that you
are worthy, loved, and valued, and you deserve good things.
You deserve to eat off the banquet table, and not the crumbs that fall to the ground.
Absolutely.
I believe, and I've been confessing that, and I believe that.
I just don't want to lose a good man, like you were saying, the blue-collar worker, by
having too high of a standard, because I'm trying to overcompensate for-
So, just pay attention to that.
So, you're aware of it.
So, pay attention to that.
So, look for the fruit in how he treats you in all ways.
That's how you'll make sure that you're not going to turn off a good guy, or turn away.
Okay.
That helps a lot.
Yeah.
So good, y'all.
Thank you.
Well, not that I was stressed at all about having Jackie eavesdrop on my coaching tonight,
but that was awesome.
That's okay.
It's all good.
Actually, I love it.
I love it.
Because I thought she had some really good stuff to say, so I'm glad that she was peanut
gallering in there, too.
Oh, my gosh.
I was not eavesdropping.
I was enjoying myself.
That was totally good.
I'm almost fully packed.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
I love it.
Friends, I just want to remind you, there's only 500 of these pre-sale copies, and especially
for this first edition.
And a lot of you have already grabbed one, so there's less than 500.
And so, just want to let you know, the link is there, and I'm pretty sure it's just live
on my website somewhere, on a book page, but, yes.
Yes.
So good.
This beautiful wedding tomorrow.
It's a blended family wedding.
My favorite.
You know what?
I've said it before, I'll say it again.
When your neighbor, when your neighbor gets success in anything, not just in this area,
get excited, because that means God's in the neighborhood.
Amen?
Amen.
Great job, everybody, tonight.
I hope you got some good nuggets.
Go listen to the beginning part of this again, too, because Jackie spoke some really good
word over everybody, and we will see you again very soon.
Thanks, Renee.
Thanks.
Thank you.