Hey there, everybody.
Happy New Year.
I am so excited.
It's 2026.
Unfortunately, I have the flu.
I did not get it from the grandbabies and thankfully they did not get it from me.
They're still well, but I did get mowed down by this virus.
I think I actually got it at a wedding that I was at right before the holidays, but I
started to show signs of it on the 27th and it is lingering.
We have one of our beautiful, amazing coaches, Erin Joy.
She is going to be leading you guys tonight in what I think is going to be a fun time
of just community banter.
You get to kind of voice some of your own opinions about some dating questions tonight
with Erin at the helm, kind of making sure everything stays directed in the right direction.
But also, I'm sorry, I don't want to start coughing.
Also, I think it would be fun for you to share any of your maybe dating New Year's resolutions.
What are some things that you're going to leave in 25?
What are some things that you were doing that you know doesn't work and you're not going
to do it in 26?
I think it could be fun to have a little round robin of that.
You guys can learn from each other.
You know, we are a peer-based, community-based matchmaking community.
And so I don't think you guys hear from each other enough.
And so maybe we'll make this a regular thing because I know a lot of you have a lot of
wisdom to share.
And I think it would be great for you to share that.
For those that wanted to jump in the love seat tonight, and you were so excited about,
you know, hearing back from me on your issue, I have your love seat questions.
And hopefully I will feel much better in a couple more days.
I'm going to make a video answering those questions and I will post it in your groups.
Okay?
Also, I am hoping to be perky and healthy for Supernatural Saturday.
Please don't miss it.
It's going to be epic.
God has put a lot of things on my heart for 2026.
And I'm going to share all of that with you.
And so if you've been feeling even a little bit down and discouraged, you're going to
be very, very empowered and encouraged on Saturday.
Okay?
And not just hype and prophetic, but also some practical partnership that we can do
in order to really make 2026 the year that God said it could be.
All right, you guys, I don't want you to hear me clearing my throat for the rest of the
night.
Love you.
Happy New Year.
Hey, all.
Yeah.
Happy New Year to you, to us, to all of us.
It's going to be a great year.
Those of you who hopped on a little bit late, Jackie's under the weather.
So we are doing a different thing that was another alternative for tonight.
And a couple of housekeeping things as we start out.
I probably know most of you, maybe all of you.
I think we have some phase one and phase two folks in this crew also.
So maybe I haven't met you yet.
I'm one of the coaches for the phase three team.
And my name's Erin Joy Crossfield, and I've been in the community for a while.
And so starting out with some housekeeping stuff, times and seasons, that is coming up
so soon on January 4th, which is imminent because it's already January 1st.
If you haven't yet seen where to go to sign up, go to the app, go to the resources.
There is a link there.
You can sign up for that.
It's going to be really, really helpful for us as we sync our lives up with what God has
planned for our lives for the next year.
Yeah, so one of the things that, let's start with exactly what Jackie said.
Let's put, let's volunteer if anybody's willing to raise their hand and share what their dating
resolutions are for the next year.
Things that you've tried and are moving away from, things that you want to move into.
Raise your hand, I'll go ahead and call on you.
After this, I have a couple of other panel questions for us.
Things like who has really great ideas for long distance dates, who has really great
ideas for free dates, because we're on budgets around this place.
Okay.
questions about who's got good tips for zoom and video date camera setups that
Great.
kind of thing I'm particularly aware of that one because I'm on Christmas
vacation myself and so I am like holed up in my parents guest bedroom and this
is not not not the norm so what do we do when we're in the not the norm we cull
the wisdom of the group and that's y'all so that'll be something we can talk
about a little bit later um yeah so if you have a question you'd like do you
think would be a good panel for a panel discussion question something that you'd
like to get the wisdom of our community we all have been dating for a while
we've got some good wisdom on these topics in addition to all the good
wisdom that we get from Jackie and the coaching team go ahead and drop those
questions in the chat and then after you do the ones that I plan we will pull
some of those and and work through let's start with dating resolutions is anybody
willing to say yes raise my little avatar hand I have something that I
think it's gonna be a good resolution for my dating future for 2026
I think I see some mouths moving but no volume off so maybe it was just people
sneezing I come from a long line of people with the gift of gab so I would
be happy to tell you all about my dating adventures but that's not what we're
here for that's uh let's see nice danger Dave I see danger Dave you're
here can you give us some something you're envisioning for a dating
resolution for 2026 and then I think Helen Sokal did you do your pop on
you'll be you'll go next if you're willing yeah so oh man Aaron you threw
me right under the bus but it's okay I'm gonna throw into the bus here yeah
I'm ready I'm buckled in I've got my helmet I'm ready to handle the impact so
I think so your question was what's a dating resolution for 2025 or 2026
sorry yeah for 2026 what's a dating resolution for you something you want to
move into or something you want to move away from yeah so I think for me it's
stop entering into the worthiness trap so I I think like I've struggled for a
long time of like trying to prove that I'm worthy so like I'll find someone
who's really not a good match for me but it's just because I feel like oh if I
can prove myself worthy with this person then I'll feel like I'm worthy even
though I know who I am in Christ and and I think like that's something that like
God's been working on me and it's like hey I've always known who I am but it's
like it's like no no more worthiness trap no more trying to prove who I am
and just knowing who I am and walking in that and like I also realized today that
like the reason why I kept falling into that was because I was the one that was
like setting the game pieces and setting it up so that like I would constantly be
in that because I was trying to prove myself
that's awesome okay yeah well dating out of an established identity instead of to
prove yourself I love that Helen did I he see you right to your did
your thing flash Helen Sokal yeah so this is my first time in phase three so
bear with me if I don't follow the right protocol and I will be on camera next
time that's that that is one of my new resolutions is to be camera ready like
Renee said and fit her face to videos but you mentioned more of a collective
wisdom or leaning on collective wisdom so I guess I'll ask a question of what
I've done in 25 and you guys can maybe counsel me on 26 but with the I'm on
Facebook dating and then on arc and I resolved to I can initiate like a wave
or something like that I like or whatever but the message the first
message needs to come from the guy and and that's what I've been doing I've
just been responding message wise to only guys who message me first and I
don't know if that's right or wrong or maybe there's no right or wrong I don't
know so maybe y'all can speak to that and if that maybe should change in 26 as
far as letting him initiate the message always I bet lots of these gals and guys
have heard Jackie coach on this before just just like as a little survey Oh
thumbs up if you've heard Jackie say the thing that matters is not initiation but
reciprocation does that sound familiar I see a couple of thumbs yeah I know a lot
of people have had had like good success and good peace of mind heading down
heading down the path of letting the guy make the first move and then we were
we're responders but we're not limited
into that where like, that's not a rule here.
Has anybody willing to volunteer
that they've done it the other way
where they've made the first move
or done the first messaging and it's worked out?
Well, Marley, can you tell us about that?
Oh, I can just say that I've done it
and it did start conversations.
It didn't lead anywhere, but yes, it started conversations.
Nice.
I see Shawnee's hand, sweet.
Well, just to tap in from what Helen asks,
what I've done that has been decent,
it's not really for Facebook dating,
but people that are in my circle,
your suggested friends on Facebook,
I'll check and see if they look like somebody
that I might wanna talk to and I'll friend them.
And then if they friend me back, and a lot of them do,
then I just let it go from there
where if I'm posting something and they comment on it
and then we actually are like in community
because now it's almost like your neighbors
because you're a closer proximity
because we're now in your Facebook friends.
So I would imagine you could do something similar
on the Facebook dating app,
but just by starting a conversation
isn't necessarily like, hey, I like you.
You would just say like, hey, that sweater is really cute.
Where'd you get it or something?
I don't know, something that would get them to go,
okay, this person is talking to me.
Like drop the hanky,
that's kind of what I'm trying to say.
Dave, I wanna make sure
that I don't give all of the bandwidth to you,
but yeah, what do you got for us?
Oh, sorry, I'll be very, very quick then.
Sorry, Eric.
No, no, you're no good, I'm calling on you, go for it.
So I think I find that like if it's humor,
then it's okay, right?
So like, don't feel bad just like,
it's okay just to make a joke.
And now it's not awkward,
like who said yes, who said hi at first,
because it's just humor
and you can just both be enjoying the humor and the joke.
And honestly, whenever I get a first message
and the person says something really funny,
like in my picture, I'm eating ice cream
and the girl's like,
do you know that you have ice cream
on the side of your face in your picture?
And I had no idea and I laughed so hard.
So sometimes like, if it's awkward for you,
I would say just use humor and it'll go great.
So.
Thanks, Dave.
Gwen, I see your hand.
I messaged first a lot.
In fact, on Bumble, you have to message first
for it to go through, for the women to message first.
But I have to say my track record of messaging guys first
have always been successful dates.
Normally, like back in the day when it was normal dating,
now it's weird with fake people and all that stuff.
But the ones that I did date in 2025,
that they actually made an effort,
drove three and a half hours
up to San Luis Obispo from LA.
I messaged them first.
And I said, hey, how's it going?
And guys like it.
No, they're appreciated.
It kind of gives me the choice and the pick.
I get to make the pick,
like who it is, who I want to talk to.
I mean, they didn't work out, but it works.
And I don't feel like they're,
I think if we say only going to wait for someone,
I feel like it really diminishes your,
cuts it in half your opportunities.
But anyways, that's my opinion.
Yeah.
Is that good?
Jennifer Young, I see your hand.
Perfect timing, I just turned on a lamp
because it was so very dark.
I have not often made the first like move,
but I'm a little bit like more on the,
I are on the side of just drop the hanky.
So if it's someone that I'm meeting that's new,
I'm comfortable saying something like,
well, here, take my Instagram.
If in case you want to talk more or stay in touch
or in case you need help finding an apartment,
I said that once, I hope that's okay.
I didn't want to help him find an apartment,
but I gave him my work Instagram.
And then he did message me and he was like,
it was really nice talking to you,
but it felt way too short.
Would you like to get coffee sometimes?
So I feel more comfortable personally,
not being quite so forward,
but just kind of like making the gesture of like,
here's how we could stay in touch if you'd like to.
And my dating resolution is to take things slower,
just to take the process slower
and to allow myself to take in more information
and allow the other person to take in more.
and for us to both feel more comfortable.
I'm very nervous all of a sudden.
You're doing great.
Yeah, that's a great resolution too.
Nice to like be deliberate about your pace.
Nice.
Heather, I see your hand.
Hi, sorry, I'm not on camera
because I'm in an awkward place,
but I just wanted to say that two things.
I find that remembering that an introduction
is so low stakes, it really doesn't matter.
Honestly, I have gone ahead
and started initiating some conversations,
and usually if the person has a nice profile
or says something and I'm like,
oh, I think that could be a real connect,
then that's it.
It's just like, hey, I liked your profile.
I think we have some things in common.
Take a look at mine and let me know if you'd like to chat
or something specific about whatever they put in there
that's small, and once I've sent it,
I realized I generally forget that I sent it
because honestly, once you send something,
it usually disappears from your screen
as a person of possibility unless they respond,
so I forget about it, and if they don't respond,
then who cares because I also realized
I only have so much bandwidth for online
and I'm not on there every single day,
and because I'm not checking it all the time,
I won't know unless somebody sends a message
and says, hey, you have a message.
I'm like, oh, and then I might look,
so it's low stakes to say hello.
If they respond, great.
If there's no connection, who cares?
It's really low stakes, so if you just kind of remember that,
I find that helpful to not worry about it.
Just drop the hanky out there, and then for resolution,
something I've kind of discovered now that I'm,
I feel like through this group,
I have finally learned how to date in my,
like, finally in my life, I feel like I figured out,
like, how do you date because I was never taught
and I feel like, you know,
you learn what you did right and wrong,
and what I have created is I have a little list
and I add to it of not very expensive,
but fun activities that I like to do in my back pocket
in case there's a guy who seems nice,
but they don't know what to do,
and I don't mind coffee first dates
or conversation, obviously, to see if I like someone,
but I always have a small list of something
that I know is a go-to, so whatever we do,
even if they're not a great match, I usually have fun,
and the last thing, and I'm totally gonna be quiet,
is I ask, I have the question rotating in my mind,
I wonder what I'm gonna find out
or what this person's gonna teach me tonight,
and it takes me, it takes anxiety down,
so those are my pointers and things I'm taking into 2026.
Nice, those sound great, I love that,
going to the date with a,
what am I gonna learn about this person,
what am I gonna learn from this person?
That's a great perspective.
Anybody else have any dating resolutions?
Anybody do anything you really loved,
you thought was a good move last year
and you wanna make sure to continue it into next year?
Breathe.
Tiffany, I see your hand.
Okay, so this may be an unpopular opinion,
but I, rotation of five, I always had five guys to date,
it was always a rotation of five,
anyone that asked for a date, got a date,
I did not put too much into it,
I wasn't looking to check out, check into boxes,
anybody that asked me for a date, got a date,
my first date is always a meet and greet,
I am a member of a social club
and the house here is free to me,
so I would tell them, hey, meet and greet,
meet me at the club, it's free,
you can have food there,
it's a really co-working space
and a lot of people will tell me,
you know, I wanna join there,
I'm like, great, come, you can get a tour,
you can have free food, free drinks
and we can just meet, meet and greet,
second date is really up to him to ask
and it's usually some type of afternoon something,
third date is typically a evening date,
so for me, it was always a rotation of five,
I made sure after each conversation,
after each date to kind of do a self-check,
how do I feel, did I have fun
and what I noticed about men
is that they will rotate themselves in and out,
I don't have to say no,
they will decide I'm not for them or whatever
and it's fine, I really believe in that low stakes
and another tip I would say
and it's not really a tip but I know,
we just have to, and this is bad for me to say,
I'm really mindful of my appearance,
I would see ladies that would message me
and was like, there's no men,
like no man is approaching me and I'm like,
What do you mean they're not approaching you, nobody is approaching you, or you're saying
the ones that you are interested in are not approaching you?"
And they were like, nobody.
I'm like, change your look.
And I find this a few years ago, I look like a boy at first glance.
And I had to go in, my girlfriend was like, you're not going to be the man, you look like
a boy.
And I had to go in and change my physical, what I look like physically.
I had to start wearing makeup.
I had to go get my hair cut and colored in a way.
I had to figure out my clothing.
I had to look attractive like I wanted to be a man.
And so when I leave my house, I live by the rule of two thirds.
I don't leave the house, it's either hair, skin and makeup, or outfit.
If two out of those threes are not done properly, I don't leave the house.
I have to wait until those things are done.
Every time I leave the house, somebody is going to approach me.
I don't even have to worry about it because I believe I'm physically appealing.
And I find that men, they're going to come up to you if you're off glance what they physically
like.
So for me, men and women, this is not about a size, it's not about spending a lot of money.
Yes, you want to be healthy.
Look your best in all situations, even if you're just dropping off something.
Even if you're just running, look like you want to meet a man.
Walk slow, look up, smile, don't be in a rush, brush your head down.
If you do not look like you want to meet a man, you're not going to meet a man.
If you look at your dating profile pictures and they don't look good, people are not going
to approach you.
You have to look good.
And I think that all women have the ability to be a 10.
No one can convince me I don't care what you look like.
We all have the ability to be a 10.
You just have to know what you're doing.
And I worked in fashion and beauty for a very long time, so I know you can do it.
But do your best to look your best with what you have.
And so that's it.
That's it for me.
So for me, like I said, it's always a rotation.
You don't have to say no to men.
Men will say no to you.
You don't have to say no to...
Date them and if they feel like, oh, wow, she's a little bit too this, they'll weed
themselves out.
And so may the best man win, which has always been my philosophy.
So that's it.
Nice.
Thanks for that, Tiffany.
When we know we put the effort into looking as good as I can look in my current self,
it really does make a difference in how we present ourselves in the world and how people
respond to us.
So for me, that phase two coaching was quite a while ago.
I remember there being some good coaching in phase two on how we can present ourselves
so our outside matches the beauty of our heart and the masculinity of our heart for
you dudes.
Is that still part of the phase two coaching?
Give me a thumbs up if there's an element of helping the outside match the inside.
Okay.
Well, then I bet you're going to get some of it in phase three.
Melissa, I see your hand.
You've got a...
Do you have a resolution for us?
Do you have something you want to take into phase three?
Answering the question.
You're just great.
So it's been a few months since I've been in phase two, but I will say it wasn't like
a concentrated lesson per se that they ran through in phase two.
It was really just...
It would come up in conversation similarly to how this is coming up now, where it's just
more, hey, what are you doing on the outside to reflect what's on the inside?
And if there were specific instances, then the coaches would say, okay, post some pictures
of what you have on your profile and we'll make suggestions on how to improve.
But there wasn't a concentrated track.
And that's actually something I wish we could incorporate more in the program of how can
we be more intentional in actually walking in, expressing on the outside what is on the
inside in an appropriate way without changing really who we are.
I know Jackie, it's something that Jackie's really invested in before.
She's even...
God bless her.
She's even hired people that get paid for that kind of coaching to give that coaching
to us for free without an extra charge for us.
Sometimes it doesn't work out that way, but yeah.
Yay.
Natasha, I see your hand.
Hi, everyone.
Happy New Year.
I found it because I live in New Zealand and so I've been on the phase, I'd say phase one,
phase two-ish on the dating apps for like a whole of 2025.
Like I joined in like January and I had joined before, so I joined two sites as recommended
in the coaching.
So I chose Bumble and Hinge because I tried a lot of the Christian apps here in New Zealand
and they just weren't...
they weren't vibing, like some of the people on there, it's like similar to the one that
Jackie was saying in one of the sessions around the men that are on there, it's like you wonder
like what's going on here, where are these men being sourced from? Anyway, so I've tried the
Christian ones, I've tried the non-Christian ones, but obviously with the thing of looking
for Christian men and I've, you know, spoken to a lot of men, dropped the hanky, set up dates,
tried to set up video dates, some weren't willing, so I realized, okay, fine, I'm not going to push
it if they're not willing, I'm making my interests known and applying all of the coaching that we've
gotten from Renee, even the updated notes like on one of the sessions she was letting us know
things that we can say in the apps and just how to improve our apps and, yeah, it hasn't, 2025
hasn't been great on that front and I've actually then, you know, through speaking to God made a
decision to get off the apps completely because at some point I paused them because I was just
getting discouraged and disappointed where you get ghosted or you set up dates and then they
cancel last minute or they just don't, we set up video dates or they don't show up, so there's a
lot of things going on and I was just like, you know, and I said, okay, it's fine, but I still,
I still know that I'm holding the faith, so what I've been doing instead is because I moved,
I also moved into a new city end of May, so I'm in Auckland now, which is a bigger city,
there's way more to do, so I've kind of joined an app called Meetup that has lots of like social
events and activities and stuff, so that's what I'm now doing, so I'm putting myself out there,
making sure that I'm looking good, I'm feeling good, I'm getting out and about, going for dinners
with strangers and all the things so that and showing up in grace so that I can meet people
in that way because I just have this feeling like the apps weren't necessarily jamming, there's a
lot of Christian women as well here who've also tried the apps and they just feel that they're
just not working and, you know, my friend said something, she actually, when we did that
prophetic Sunday with, forget who she is, she was doing that prophesied with the different months
and she, and one of the things she asked about what we need to be ready for for friends in
February this year and I said, so one of the things was for my friend that I need to be
available and ready for my friend's marriage because she started dating someone in April and
so, and then I remember three months ago she was like, you know, he's not proposing, I'm like, you
guys have actually only known each other for three months, you kind of like need to chill here,
but anyways, this is what God let me know that I need to be available for the preparation of
your marriage, so if that's, and she's a very, she's a strong prayerful woman, so I just said
that to her and on Christmas Day she got engaged and she said, and so she just said something to
me, she said, you know, all we need is one and, you know, this is the coaching that we've been
getting that, you know, it doesn't matter with all the frogs that I've met, all I need is one,
so I'm still showing up with that grace and just putting myself out there, making sure that when I
step out the house, even if I'm just walking my dog, that I'm looking, I'm feeling good in myself,
I'm feeling good on the outside as well, so that's basically what I've been focused on
and my New Year's resolution is just to actually lean in on God and just listening to God, so I've
been actually in over the festive season because I'm here on my own, just it gave me time away from
work, just alone in my house to read through Bethany Hicks' book on the God connection, so I've
just been reading through that and just, you know, I pulled out a new journal today just to journal
things that I'm, journal what God is speaking into me and speaking over me, so yeah, so that's what
I'm doing, so that that's my New Year's resolution, just keep leaning in, yeah, and God will, you know,
I listened the other day about the, on Sunday, the corner that my spirit mate and I don't need to be
going in the same direction, but we'll meet at the corner, so I'm just like, yes God, yes you are
faithful, that's me, that's me in terms of just walking in faith. Those are great resolutions,
yeah, those roots going down deep is, there's only, only positive payoff for our roots going
deeper into the Lord, yeah, yeah, and you're, you're being out there in real life, meeting up in real life,
that's awesome, yeah, I saw somebody in the chat was saying, did I see somebody in the chat
setting somebody else up with somebody that they know? I love that matchmaking and community, lovely,
keeping an eye out for each other, that's fabulous, also Marlene, are you, your resolution is
an appointment for a personal stylist in clothes shopping, how cool is that, what a great one,
nice, I, I feel like, I feel like I want to do that too, can I steal your resolution?
Also, somebody a second ago said that they do a self-check-in after every date, say like,
how did that hit me?
How did I respond?
What did we bring out of each other?
That is a great idea.
I think I probably want to take that also as a resolution for the next year to have
a deliberate self-check-in time after each date.
Melissa, I see your hand.
Or Melissa Dawn.
I don't know if you prefer to go by Melissa or Melissa Dawn.
You are on mute right now, but it looks like you're trying to come off.
My apologies.
I'm doing technological complicated things.
So anyway, we were kind of group sourcing, community sourcing wisdom, and I really feel
like I have a lot to learn still.
But one thing that does, I mean, I hope probably we all do, but one thing that I have had a
sort of solidified sense within my spirit about this tidbit of wisdom, let's say, at
least personally, would be I'm no longer dating for potential, but I'm dating reality.
And what I mean by that is not that I'm going to come in hard-nosed and ungracious or something
like this.
However, I'm getting more honest with myself about who I am and what I actually need.
And also, I'm getting more honest with myself about what I'm actually observing, even though
I am always rooting for people to grow, including myself.
But I think that at this point, I just really want to, like, if we were like 20, okay, maybe
we're not so solidified, let's say.
The prefrontal cortex hasn't fully formed until the mid-20s.
However, given the stage of life, it does seem to me that we kind of are who we are.
And I think that it's healthy to face reality as it is and to look at myself in the mirror,
not in a weird way, but just to be honest, like, this is who I am.
And also to invite someone else to do the same, and then to have the conversation not
only with the Lord and not only with myself, but also in the potential dynamic, like long-term
or short-term, just to say, does this work for me?
Because a lot of times, one of the areas I've been growing in, and this may have been observed
previously, is that I almost over-accommodated for others, but then I kind of, it was my
fault that I lost myself.
And now I'm like, wait a second, I'm like 50% of this dynamic.
And so what do I need to do?
How can I be responsible?
What am I a steward of?
And I'm a steward of who God has entrusted me to be and how he's wired me and who he's
called me to serve.
And so in light of that, I find it really important and quite essential not to simply
throw away who God has made me to be, but to see, celebrate, and steward who he's created
me to be.
He's handcrafted each of us.
And then just to say, do these two people fit together and can I be my full self in
this dynamic?
Or am I going to have to either erase myself or be erased or some combination of the two?
And I think that because God is a good creator, I don't think that in his beautiful design
of mirroring Christ in the church, like it talks about in Ephesians 5, I don't think
that this dynamic would require the erasure of either person, but it would invite fullness
and multiplication through the dynamic.
And so that's really what I feel quite committed to at this point and going into the new year
and however long it may take.
That is sort of the frame of mind and also the way in which I am dating.
So I'm no longer saying, oh, well, I see that you really don't fit with me at all, but let
me see how I can make this work.
It's like, no, just, it's okay because it's more loving to everyone just to be honest
with oneself.
So that's how I'm growing and I'm still in process.
That is great.
I love that philosophy of dating in reality, not in the hypothetical future, if one or
other of us were different, that seems wise.
Well, praise the Lord.
Thank you.
Anybody else have a good resolution, something they want to do differently or something they
did well before and they want to make sure they keep that up?
So I have done a like, y'all are so engaging, I have not done a very good job of scrolling
the chat and finding the questions that you guys have put dropped in there as good questions
to to ask the group.
So if you if you asked one, would you mind raising your hand and asking it in person
or dropping it lower in the chat, and I will try and grab it at the bottom.
And in the meantime, who, anybody want to volunteer you if you have good date ideas
that work well for long distance relationships and online dates?
I know some of you guys have some experience with long distance dating and we could use
it.
We could use your experience.
I can give one I had one date that was a great date.
It was we really had a good time together.
We just both went to amazon.prime and found the same movie and then 321 start.
And then okay, in five minutes, I'm going to need a break.
So 54321 pause.
And they like having to be deliberate about the interaction to like start and stop put
a little bit of levity in the in the event that we wouldn't have had if it had been in
a more polished, polished setting polished way if we were actually sharing a screen or
something we couldn't have done that.
But that's something that's worked out really well for me.
Good people have had good long distance dates.
Does anybody here had a long distance like an actual long distance relationship where
you had to figure out how to date this one person, person long distance?
No, we are all local daters around here.
Okay, move your hand.
Yeah, I, I've had several distance relationships, and it's involved everything from setting
up regular times to make sure that we're meeting in the middle to scheduling times
like a regular time to connect every, you know, so often, like whether it's every other
day or whatever, depending on the level of the relationship.
But there's some great things that I've done long distance with different guys.
There's guys, there are guys who have taken me out on dates, literally on a FaceTime date
gotten dressed up, will keep me on the phone driving to where they're going.
And then, you know, to get to a place and, you know, we talk over the menu of what they're
going to order and vice versa, and different, different formalities like that.
But there's other more casual low key things you can do, you can actually do, like playing
games together, like you can play online board games together, you don't have to be in the
same room to play the same board game.
Physically, you can actually do like chess, backgammon, checkers, different things online.
And playing each other, you can actually watch shows in movies together, which I'm
sure people know, and then kind of correlate integrated pauses to talk through things happening
in a show that you might like together.
Everything from painting together to reading together, actually reading books, like over
the airways together, there's a lot of different ways that you can interact, kind of like living
life alongside each other.
You just have to be more intentional to schedule it.
And it feels a little awkward at first, but can become pretty, at least I found pretty
like tender and intimate, you know, like even just that the notion of like reading a book
alongside somebody and, and sharing in that experience, especially a novel, when you're
kind of like watching a plot unfold together.
And yeah, it just has potential to see people's reactions in different ways, because you're
looking for that from far away, if that makes sense.
I like that idea, that book idea.
Tiffany, did your hand go up with a long distance idea?
It did.
I'm dated long distance.
So I am of the, I've dated long distance with men that were very generous financially.
So we would see each other all the time, he would fly me, that was fine.
But in the weeks that we couldn't, we would do things like scavenger hunts in my city
and his city.
And so maybe there's a part of his city that he always wanted to kind of explore, but haven't.
So I'll do a little bit of research on my end, and I would set up a scavenger hunt.
He would do the same thing, you know, for me in Atlanta, different parts of Atlanta.
And that was always fun to, you know, just to kind of see what if we actually did it
and the clues throughout the day.
So that was always fun.
So just initially a first video date.
I have done things like, okay, I'm going to give you 15 seconds, you know, go in your
house, get two items.
One item that, you know, starts with your first name.
I would always find a tea towel, so I'm like, here's a towel.
And then the second one would be something that's meaningful to you and or meaningful
to your family as a whole.
And so then we would talk about it.
So just little, you know, just little things that, you know, that.
But for me, I feel like I, and I think I've heard Jackie say this, or maybe it's just
my philosophy.
You have to really have money to date long distance because it's, I mean, somebody has
to put the investment in to fly or drive or whatever that may be.
And my long distance has always been beyond flight.
I mean, beyond driving, it's been like, okay, I'm going to have to fly because I'm not going
to drive, you know, 12 hours to see you.
I'm just going to fly in.
So make sure if you're dating that you have a little budget, you know, to be willing with
the willingness to fly and to see that person and to, like you just said, set up, you know,
something meaningful and fun, whether it's the movie or this guy I once dated long distance,
he put me onto a book club.
And so we would both join the book club, you know, as a couple.
And then we would still, you know, be able to kind of read the book together.
And then we would talk about it, you know, before I would be like, read the book, don't
embarrass me in this book club, did you read your pages?
And then we would kind of discuss it before then.
So those little things, again, can just make it kind of fun until you can get to the next
time you see each other face to face.
Those are great ideas.
Also if you guys don't have your chat open, pull it up.
There are so many great ideas in there.
Yeah, nice.
Sweet.
Okay.
Yeah, it does take money to date long distance, doesn't it?
But there are definitely free dates, right?
So maybe for the local ones.
Well, I mean, if you already have Amazon Prime, that's free.
And I'm sure there are games online for anyway, I'm getting distracted by my train of thought
that there's both free and long distance and free locally.
Do you guys have any good local dates that are free?
I know we are not advised to have a first date where we go walking in the woods with
a stranger, even though a nice walk in the woods is free.
Do you guys have other ideas for budget friendly initial dates?
I do.
Oh, was somebody-
I'm not sure who I heard.
Was somebody speaking?
Sorry.
I don't want to interrupt anybody.
Helen, go ahead.
Then we'll get to Dave in a sec.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Danger, danger, Dave.
I play pickleball every week, and I was playing one time several months ago, and this couple
was on their first date there, and I thought that was super fun.
So I think I will suggest that, I have suggested that to several people that I've met online.
And I actually have had, or was supposed to have two dates where we were going to meet
halfway.
I live in California.
So just so many guys that are, or several guys that are two, three hours away, and it's
just a lot to drive.
So we agreed on a halfway point to play at a park.
For some reason, those dates didn't happen.
I'm still wondering what went wrong there, but it's free, it's low key, it's a non-awkward
way of engaging someone.
You actually learn a lot about someone when you play a sport with them, even if you're
playing against them or with them, you actually learn a lot, how they handle the emotions,
how they handle anger, how they handle losing, how they handle, can they have fun without
being competitive?
Are they competitive and kind?
There's actually so much you can learn.
And I've picked that up from playing for a couple of years now at the park.
Just a suggestion.
Great idea.
Dave, what do you got for us?
Yeah, so I think there's a lot of really fun local activities and things.
One of them is that if you volunteer together at a retirement home, that is so much fun.
Specifically, if you ask the old lady, like, hey, help me out, there's nothing funnier
than old ladies who smell like prunes and are so lovely, who are going and helping you.
And yeah, it's hilarious, especially when they're like, oh, if I was 40 years younger,
I wouldn't be pausing or yeah, so that can be really fun, a little intimidating, I guess.
But sometimes I find like activities are really fun, specifically like big group activities.
So like going apple picking where there's lots of people or I live in Canada, so there's
at this time of year, there's lots of like winter festivals, like free skating or those
kinds of things.
I have a medical condition where I can't walk in a straight line, so the idea of going on
a walk in a first date, I always will bump into the person or have difficulty walking
straight.
So for me, I'd rather do an activity so I'm not having to worry about trying to walk in
a straight line where it's like, oh, we're doing an activity, we're having fun, it's
a good time.
And especially if you're nervous, I find that the locals will help you.
If you're in a place where you're long distance, meeting halfway, you don't know anybody, if
you just go to the bartender and be like, help me, they will help you.
And it'll be hilarious.
And the little town will always try to save you.
And especially if you don't know anyone there, I always tell people, I'm like, yo, you can
tell the barman that we're on a rescue mission.
This date is not going well.
I've driven half an hour, like two hours to meet this girl halfway, help me.
And the bar and those sitting around it will always help you.
So I love that Dave is not content to have an ordinary date.
You will make his story a hallmark story.
I love it.
That's fabulous.
Oh, man, more good ideas in the chat.
Tiffany, is that a new hand or is that a prior hand?
Lay it on us.
If you guys have a library card, which most people do, if you have a library card, at
least they do this in Atlanta and some other bigger cities, they have free tickets there.
So let's say you want to go to the zoo, you want to go to a museum, you can go and take
your library card, go up to the front desk and see what freebies they have.
Again, I've got tickets to plays, I've got tickets to the theater, to Fox Theater, to
zoos, to museums, to the aquarium.
They have so many free tickets that they get per month and you can just go and ask for
them and they will give them to you.
So and then you can go and do whatever, you know, you might have to pay for parking.
Every now and then they may have a parking pass for you for free, but you may have to
pay for parking.
But, you know, you could go see the aquarium and that could be $40, $50, whereas you can
get a ticket there and it's for free.
So what I kind of do is made friends with my librarian and some of the ladies at the
front counter.
I'm like, what's the days that you guys get, you know, your tickets in?
And they'll tell me, OK, we get tickets in, you know, once a month or twice a month.
Here are the days.
And I'll go in there and ask and they'll say, hey, this particular new, like Shen Yun is
getting ready to come.
And they'll say, hey, Shen Yun is coming, we'll have tickets and there'll be good seats.
Like there'll be good seats sometimes, even sporting events.
So definitely, you know, don't sleep on your library.
They have freebies there.
Awesome.
Great tip.
Thank you.
Awesome.
All right.
Let's see.
I saw I saw something in the chat earlier, Brenda Horn had a good question about starting
conversations and then they just ping back and forth into conversations, but they never
actually get to the point where the one of you invites the other of you on a date.
And I bet lots of people in this community have figured out scripts and ways to overcome
that hurdle.
What do you got for us?
What's your go to move to turn off the just chatting back and forth, texting, chatting
in the app?
And let me just say this, this is what I say, especially if I'm online.
Your five free trial has ended.
Your five free days have ended.
Your seven free trial days of speaking to me has ended.
If you would like to continue this conversation, this is the number.
If not, I'm going to imagine you and they will laugh so hard.
They're like, wow.
I'm like, no, I'm not going to.
Like Jackie said, this is a dating app.
You date.
So you're you know, your seven free days of chatter on the app is up.
And if you would like to continue the conversation, here's my number.
Here's my email address or whatever I feel comfortable to give to them.
I said, but, you know, I'm going to move on.
And they're like, OK, I want to talk to you.
Like, OK.
And I don't text men ever.
So I always tell them, look, I can give you my number, but I don't text.
So if you want to have a text conversation, I'm probably not the person for you.
I need to hear your voice.
And sometimes they'll say, no, I can't.
I don't know you that well enough to talk to you on the phone.
I have to text and I'm like, nope, that's the, you know, my boundary.
But I just tell them, hey, you're five, three, seven free days are up like I'm going to move
on.
So and they typically laugh and say, OK, yeah, I want to talk.
So that's a way to do it.
That is clever.
Maybe they also have strategies they use, things they say.
Yeah, I think just just use humor, that's always a good one.
And sometimes I might say, like, oh, it looks like we lost that loving feeling, like if
they've ghosted you and it's been a couple of days and then they always respond laughing
like, oh, hey, yeah, let's talk again.
And I think humor is always great, like especially if, like, let's say you were talking
about Bob Dylan and be like, oh, man, and they go, she'd be like, oh, I guess I'm going
to have to return these Bob Dylan tickets or something.
Like, that's always fun.
And just kind of like playing the banter back and just not letting it phase you.
And you know what? Like, I find like just I stole this from Renee.
So credits to Rizzo.
But just like saying like, hey, let's have a video chat and be like, if they're not
really if you've been talking for like a week or two and they're just like, hey.
I'm not interested in a video chat or even a call.
Like sometimes people are nervous with video, that's fine.
But like, if it's been like three weeks of kind of talking
and for me, if they're not interested in a video chat,
I kind of move on and I just say thank you
and then just move on.
So question of curiosity,
I never give it three weeks of chat before the date,
but I'm wondering if others of you do and if that works,
do you have situations where it's three full weeks
of texting and chatting or chatting in the app
and then they make the move to the date?
Yeah, it works all the time, but.
That's for you, okay.
I feel like I personally have only ever recall
texting someone for two weeks before we went
on the first date because I think I had some
internal hesitation about going on the date at all
and he continued asking, which I think in hindsight
might be a good way to reflect on,
if a date is not happening,
it might be because there's some reticence
on the other party's side,
because for me there was and looking back in hindsight,
I was intuiting something,
I was not supposed to go out with that particular person.
So I think that like a week for me,
if we have not decided that we want to meet up
or talk at least in FaceTime,
then I tend to feel like this is just a distraction
at that point, it's just too much back and forth
and it doesn't really feel respectful of each other's time.
That's just how I feel.
I don't think I've ever belabored it longer than that
unless I had some hesitation about meeting up.
I'm pretty speedy myself.
Maybe two or three days,
two or three solid conversations,
like texting for half an hour back and forth or something,
that would count as conversation.
Two or three of those and then like,
I've run out of stuff that I wanna text about
because I don't know them,
they're like this weird in between
stranger not stranger thing.
So then I usually say something like,
well, you seem like a solid guy,
if you'd be interested in a date, let me know.
And then he almost always says, yeah, totally.
And then either does follow through or doesn't follow through
but usually he does follow through.
And a couple of times I've had guys be like,
wow, at that point,
I wasn't even sure if you were a robot or not.
So the Zoom call helps to like clarify
that I'm a human, three dimensional.
But yeah, usually that works for me,
just a couple of days of chat
and then when I am done with the chat banter,
I'm not interested in getting to know
the chat version of him.
So let's spend time together if you're interested.
But I usually, I think the thing that helps
that move on for me,
just reading between the lines of what's worked or not
is being super blunt about my willingness for a date
coupled with an affirmation of him.
You seem like a solid guy.
You seem like you've got your head on the shoulders.
You seem like a really good dude.
Just some like, all I can know about him at that point
is that amount of compliment, right?
I can't say you seem like you really have
depths of heart and character
because I don't know him that well.
But I can usually say he seems like a solid guy
or a good dude.
If you want a date, let me know.
And then that leaves,
still leaves it to him to like decide
if he wants a date and ask.
But that's worked for me.
So take it if you'd like it.
Victoria Jeanette, sweet.
I see your hand.
I think you might be muted.
I see you talking, but I don't hear you talking.
I can't fix it on my phone.
Yeah, I look weird.
But I haven't actually said, let's go on a date.
I've been having these long intermittent connections
with texting on either Facebook or other apps.
I'm on Bumble.
And I'll say, are you interested
in getting to know one another further?
Are you still interested?
I haven't heard from you.
And they'll say, yes, definitely.
And then the messages are just very infrequent,
not much substance.
Or if it is, I'm like, no,
I don't think I want to get to know him any further,
but it's never been talked about about a date.
And so I'm wondering like, am I supposed to bring that up?
Cause I like how Tiffany approached that.
I just, I'm not sure if I'm, what am I doing wrong?
Because it's inconsistent texting.
They'll give me their number.
I have their number, but they won't call.
Or they'll text me and say,
yeah, I'd love to see you this weekend.
And then nothing.
Or, you know what I'm saying?
Like, it's just, anybody have any suggestions
on how to fix that?
Because I did message a few people to say Merry Christmas.
And I got a few responses, but not consistent phone calls.
is not ever asking me out and inconsistent texting.
So I'm curious as to how to stop that.
Do I just delete them all and move on?
I would say this would be a good situation
for using the word date and then for not being willing
to continue the status quo unless there is motion to a date.
Like if you say, are you interested in continuing
to get to know me?
That reads as, are you interested in continuing
what we have going on right now,
which you know is insufficient.
That's not heading toward marriage,
but it reads as, I want this to continue,
this thing we have going here.
So yeah, like using the word date,
but then also if he doesn't say,
yeah, I want a video date or whatever you phrased,
and then actually go ahead and make it happen,
then it's okay to be like, yeah, it sounds like
you're not in a really good dating season right now.
No harm, if your season changes, circle back around to me,
maybe I'll still be single.
Leave that door open, but politely,
you're not rejecting him as a human.
You're just saying, oh, I'm not, no,
I'm not into texting thing, I'm going on dates.
Let me know if that's something you're interested in.
That would be my thoughts there.
I see other people have hands up to chime in.
Natasha, you had a different thing.
I want to not forget you.
Does anybody have a bit of wisdom
for Victoria's suggestion right there?
For Victoria's question?
Now I can't tell what the hands mean.
Well, I think, well, just to add into Victoria's question,
I think there's a lot of, with one of,
and I don't know when exactly that was,
but one of Renee's coaching when she was,
cause she was saying that there are lots
of recurrent questions coming up.
So she had a session where she was kind of coaching us
in terms of things to say in situations like this.
And there was a lot of lovely nuggets,
like around, you know, like I'm a visual learner
and I prefer to, I prefer to,
when I'm learning about someone to kind of like see them.
So whether that's on a video or in-person date,
because that's how I learned.
I learned better that way.
So things like that.
So the little nuggets that,
of sayings that she had to support that.
I'm just not sure what month it is.
I'm sure if I look at, no, yep.
I'm sure I saved it in my emails.
I could check.
I don't know if I wrote down-
Did I keep all of the notes, Renee?
But I did.
Like I wrote kind of like emails,
like saved it in my drafts of my emails.
Cause I was just like,
then I can copy and paste and just load it on,
onto whatever dating app that I'm on.
So that was a shortcut for me.
So I kind of like heard it
and then I wrote it in my own voice
and then I'll just copy and paste
in terms of when things were stagnant like that.
I'm just not sure if I wrote when,
when that, when that was.
Yeah.
While you're looking at it, Helen Sokal,
I saw your hand go up also.
Yeah, I was wondering if,
just a question on the online thing
and texting and all of that,
am I overdoing it by,
so I always get the,
I ask for the phone number,
the guy's phone number.
I'm like, yeah, let's,
give me your number and then I'll text you
and then we can chat.
And then I,
I Google search that number
and I feel nervous when nothing comes up.
Like I've had guys where their number
doesn't come up on Google
or it comes up with somebody's name,
which there could be various reasons
for that happening.
But I, I,
I just find it sketched that
their phone number doesn't match their name,
which a lot of people have family plans
and things like that, right?
And I've actually texted the people
who are associated with that number.
And I'm like, do you know so-and-so?
They text,
I met them on Facebook dating,
nobody replies.
But anyway, as a girl,
I just kind of feel like I need to do that homework.
Yeah, to research their phone number
before I start talking with them.
I don't know if that's,
I don't know if that's me not being God defended,
you know?
You know, far, far be it from people,
from us to recommend people be riskier,
it sounds like that might be fear motivated.
If you were to be texting with somebody
who's on the,
who's given you their number,
and it turns out they're not as upstanding a guy
as they have first presented themselves to be,
you'll have lots of opportunities to like,
perceive that and end the communication.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
It's worth looking into if there's fear underlying that,
or if there's something else underlying that.
Heather, I see your hand.
Earlier what I was wanting to say,
and I think it's important to say,
think it speaks to this because what I experienced is that I had an experience
is that I am not a Christian,
and I don't believe in God.
where I was talking to someone, it was on an intonations app, which is an app for
I don't believe in anything that's not true.
I don't believe in God.
I don't believe in,
I don't believe in God.
expatriates, but then they reached out wanting to get to know me.
I don't believe in God.
And then, so I gave them the number to WhatsApp me and we were WhatsAppping,
I don't believe in God.
but it was interesting because I tried to move it very quickly to, let's say,
like at least a voice message, just to hear, and the accent didn't match where
the person said they were from, because they said they were from the UK, but I
was hearing a very strong African accent.
And so I asked to do a video.
And when I did a video, I'm pretty sure it was a deep fake because it was like
the picture and the person didn't kind of align.
It's like, there was a bit of a glitch and there was a glitch in the vocal.
And I was just like, and yeah, and I would say I was God defended
because God just said, run.
And I, I blocked them immediately because I was just like, I'm
not even going to unpack this.
I'm just, I'm out.
You know, I was just like, no, this isn't, this doesn't feel safe.
It's such a beautiful thing when we're operating from our heart that has done
heart work, then we'll, we can know that, Hey, this is the Holy Spirit's voice
I'm hearing and not my own, like self-defensive, scared, panicky heart
operated, like, you can tell I recognize that heart.
Oh yeah.
But I love that you're able to like, Hey, nope, this is, I'm, I'm getting,
I'm getting suspicion and the Holy Spirit says, peace out.
So peace out, Heather.
I see your hand.
Um, I'm trying to remember what the first question was that I was going to answer
because I got distracted by this last one, but, um, just regarding, um,
the, you know, we live in the digital age.
There's no yellow pages or white pages that gives you everybody's
phone numbers.
That's legit anymore.
I mean, you can change your number just like we get Google numbers all the time.
Um, the phrase blessing block is like just a mantra.
Um, and so if I am talking to someone and I don't want to talk to them, you
are, I just blocked their number.
Um, I'm going to mute myself until I remember what I was going to say before
though, cause it was actually, I think more impactful, that's fair.
Put your hand back up when it comes back.
Uh, I see Helen's Oh, you're back.
Is she back?
Are you back?
No, she's gone.
Okay.
Helen, finish your thoughts.
Sorry about that.
I just want to say one of the reasons I don't give my real phone number.
I use my Google voice is that I Googled my own phone number.
It comes up with my first name and last name and my address.
And I'm like, I recommend everybody do that.
Just put in your own phone number on Google.
It, a lot of times come up, comes up with like all your information.
I don't want a stranger having that.
So I'm using my Google number until I meet them in person.
And then I give them myself.
It's a great idea.
I use a Google number too.
Yeah.
That's savvy.
Tiffany, I see your hand and then Candy C.
Um, for Victoria, I would suggest I always use the term meet and greet
because to me, that's a shorter duration of time with someone.
Cause you don't know if you want to spend, you know, an hour, you know, at
a first quote unquote date or whatever.
So I would suggest using the term meet and greet and then saying, Hey, I'm
available on Wednesday for a meet and greet between, and I do this because
I have a kid and it's like, these are the times I get, either you can
fit in these times or you can't.
Um, Hey, I'm available for a meet and greet on Wednesday.
Uh, from this time to that time, is that time work for you?
Um, I'm in this area.
Are you, are you close to that area?
That way it's almost kind of.
I don't want to say forcing, but making them understand that you're serious
about having some face-to-face time and that you are giving them options.
Maybe you give them two or three days and two or three times
that's available to you.
Now, and then say, Hey, does that work for your calendar?
And then they can kind of probably say, Oh, let me look and let me see.
Now, granted, some people have, even with me, some people have said, yeah, that
works and then they don't show up or whatever, and my philosophy is always,
Hey, Tiffany, you don't like everybody.
So you can't expect everybody to like you and it's fine.
Like it's fine, but I would suggest trying to give them again, a bank of
days and times for a meet and greet.
Tell them 30 minutes, 20 minutes, just to lay eyes on one another.
See if there's, you know, some, uh, if that chemistry or the conversations
that sparked online can, can translate well, um, face-to-face and then go from
there and that a lot of times that works for me because if they say, well,
Tiffany Wednesday doesn't work for me, but Friday does, can you meet
me for this time and that time?
And, um, yeah, so try that and see if that, if that works, but I would
caution to, I don't text because I am embarrassed to say this, but I
have fallen in love over texts.
So I don't text people at all.
I don't need to text you all day, every day.
I have a job.
I have a child.
If you want to talk to me on the phone, we can talk.
But if you just want a bunch of text messages.
You won't get that from me.
You need to call me.
And I'm very clear with guys up front.
Like I said before, some guys go for it, some guys don't.
But maybe just trying to limit the texts
because they need to call you.
You need to hear their voice, in my opinion.
Nice.
Candy, I see your hand.
Yeah, OK.
Yeah.
Sorry, I cannot be on the.
OK, so I have a quick question, two questions, actually.
And I post it on the chat as well.
It's how to say to the date that I'm
taking this coaching class.
That's number one.
Number two is, what's a polite way to ask,
to invite him to join this program?
Yeah.
Great questions.
So is it somebody that you're like level two dating
and you are ready to tell him that you're
getting the coaching class?
Or?
Someone that, when I talk to that person,
I feel like, to me, it's a yellow flax.
But then he look at like a rest of flax.
So it seems to me that he's not, you know, he's not,
he need to be coached, that kind of feeling.
OK.
Yeah, so he doesn't give this conversation or a chance
or this relationship, not even a relationship,
but this conversation, I would say, yeah,
not a chance to go to move on.
There's a chance that we can meet, but he does not.
You know, it seems like when we talk a little bit
and right away, this is something, oh,
that he doesn't like, then he just drop it immediately.
Yeah, OK.
So for you, have you reached the no of it's a yes
until it's a no?
Yes.
OK.
So I have a script that I use in that circumstance,
but I bet other ladies do too.
Anybody want to chime up?
What would you do in her situation
if she's reached a no, but she still
wants to refer the guy to 1822?
Do you have things that you say?
I will jump in then.
Yeah, I like, I, the good, solid, plain compliment
is my go to tool for this one too.
I say, hey, listen, you, I text it or call it or say it
in person if I'm in person with him,
but you're clearly a good dude, but I don't think
that we're really a match.
But I'm connected with a community
that has a whole bunch of really great gals in it.
And there's a men's group that goes with it,
and those men get to meet these gals.
So let me recommend you join that group,
because I think you might get some really great advice that
will help with your dating adventures.
And plus, you'll get to, you'll get
to meet a lot of great gals in the community
and decide if you want to meet them in person.
And then I like send them the link to Jackie.com
or send them the link to the Facebook page.
But yeah, that's what I do.
I say, hey, you're a good dude.
We're not a match.
That's a bummer, but I have a plan for you.
And then recommend.
OK.
All right.
Anybody else have anything they do there that you'd
like to add to?
Community wisdom for this situation.
I'm also looking at my count, my clock,
and it is we are out of time.
And so we should probably start to wrap up.
Helen, I see your hand's still up.
Is that for a prior thing?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'll put it down.
OK, good.
I just want to make sure we didn't, like,
get halfway through a question and then I cut you off
by my voice and we never got back to you or something.
OK, so as we prepare to close down,
things that I need to make sure you know.
If you're interested in signing up for Times and Seasons,
the resources part of the app is where
you're going to find that link.
It is coming up really soon, so sign up really soon.
And Jackie is hoping to be here for Supernatural Saturday
planning, but, like, she's under the weather right now.
So we're willing.
She will be back over the weather.
And she'll be here for Supernatural Saturday.
She's got good stuff planned for us, so that's great.
And I think those are the only business things that we
need to talk about right now.
Hey, somebody who loves to pray,
would you mind praying us out tonight, praying in our new
year and praying health for Jackie?
We need a volunteer.
Oh, Michelle L., are you volunteering for that,
to pray?
I think your hand may have gone up while I was talking,
so that could be not what you're volunteering for.
No, I had a question, but maybe there's no time.
That's OK.
Do you want to drop it in the chat or?
Well, no, it's too long to explain Shabbat.
I can try to ask next time, I guess.
OK, you could also put it on the Facebook page,
because that's another great place for us
to source our community wisdom in comments
to each other's questions.
All right.
It's nice to have a conversation, but it's okay.
Thanks for understanding.
This is my first time running this kind of event, and I want to be sure and follow my
instructions.
So thank you for that.
Anybody want to pray us out?
I'll pray.
So Father God, we thank you for this time and this moment, Lord God.
We thank you for what was deposited in us, Lord God.
We thank you for all the Godly wisdom, Lord God.
We thank you for 2026, Lord God.
We know that 2025, nothing was wasted, Lord, and we declare 2026 will not be wasted, God.
We thank you for the favor of God that surrounds us like a shield, because we have favor with
you.
We will have favor with men and women, Lord God.
We thank you that we are God-dependent, Lord God.
We trust you to tell us what we need to know about our future lives and spouses when we
need to know it, Lord God.
We thank you as we go out and date.
We thank you that the wind of heaven is at our backs, Lord God, and we just thank you
for the abundance of men and women, Lord God, Godly men and women that will begin to meet
us, Lord God, and be excited about us.
Father God, we just pray over Jackie and we plead the blood of Jesus over her, Lord God.
We pray her strength and her health, Lord God.
We thank you that sickness and disease will not overtake her, Lord God.
We thank you that even tonight she will begin to feel better, Lord God.
We thank you.
And we just come against the spirit of the flu and sickness over her body, Lord God,
and we thank you for total healing.
Lord God, we thank you again for this word that you're giving us.
We thank you for all the opportunities that we will have in 2026, God.
We are excited that there will be a lot of engagements and marriages, Lord God.
Everybody will meet their spirit mate today, even.
Lord God, thank you that it's us, Lord God.
We thank you that we are coming out of our rooms as brides and grooms, Lord God, according
to Joel 2.16, in Jesus' name, amen.
Amen.
Thank y'all for coming.
Happy New Year to us.