So yes, it's so happy. I'm so happy to be here with y'all. So happy to see Kim here.
We got Mackenzie, Laura, Kim, Nancy, Mika, Leah. Leah, good to see you too. I've been
meeting to catch up on your updates. I got Nadine, Karen, Teresa, Kelly. So good to see
you. So I don't think I have anybody brand new to phase two. Teresa, you're brand new
to phase two. Is this your first week? What's that? It is my first week. Well, welcome.
I might've seen you in phase one. Maybe that's why you look familiar to me. Maybe it was
my twin. They say we all have twins. So a little doppelganger doppelganger is like way
back when I, like you find celebrities that like look like you. Yes. Well, welcome Teresa.
We're so happy to have you here. So yes, this is in replay. So anybody that's coming on
and watching a replay, we're so happy to have you here in phase two. My name is Carla Johnson.
I'm one of your coaches here at last year's single. And so you'll see myself in Ebony
here with you all in the love story accelerator. This is where we kind of release you from
the you're not allowed to date. So now you're allowed to date. Okay. Um, don't let that
freak you out. Okay. Everybody gets to do this at their own pace. All right. You're
not forced to date, but we are going to kind of lead you into that. You know, let's get
your feet wet. Some ladies are all about it and like ready to dive in. Other ladies want
a little bit more of a, okay, I just want to ease in, dip my toe in, which is totally
fine. Um, we're just here to help give you those tips, tricks, pointers of that. Now
that you're coming in with some tools of some heart work and some heart healing, what dating
can look like now and how dating can be different. And so we're going to give you guardrails.
I don't like to tell you we have rules. Okay. Cause if you're like me, I often break rules.
Okay. It was always a rule breaker, especially in last year's single. Okay. So if you, you
know, oftentimes go on dates and you're like, I did this and I wasn't supposed to, don't
worry ladies. There's probably something in dating that you might do that we tell you
not to do. Don't be, don't be hard on yourself. Don't, don't beat yourself up. Don't feel
like you can't come and share it with us coaches. Cause chances are as I probably did it. Okay.
So I will be able to kind of pour into you some of the wisdom. Okay. Like, and I'll get,
I'll see the side that I'm like, I get why you did it. I know why I did it. All right.
Cause I'm stubborn. I'm a control freak. I like to do things my way. And now I have
a bonus daughter that likes to do things her way too. So that's always fun. All right.
So know that, you know, we're here to help give you wisdom and pour into you be your
biggest cheerleaders. However, just keep in mind, I'm not doing my job as a, as a coach.
I'm not going to stretch you. Okay. And tell you sometimes the things that, you know, not,
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not going to always just tell you the things that you want to hear. I'm
going to tell you the things that you need to hear. Okay. And sometimes the things that we
need to hear aren't the things that we want to hear. All right. But know that it is coming
always from a place of love and understanding and probably from a place of I've been there
and I did the same thing. Okay. And I'm one of those people, I'll straight up admit to you what
I did and I'll own it. So there's no shame. There's no shame at all. And you can blatantly
ask me, Carla, did you do this? And I'll be very transparent with you. Okay. I'm all about
transparency. All right. So just keep that in mind. We're here for you. But let's have fun.
Let's have fun in this phase. Okay. I know it can get like, I know we go into hard work and
we're healing and like, it's good. And we get in that comfort zone. And then some of us like,
want to freak out because dating is scary. Dating was so scary for me. Y'all like, I
took me a long time to get back into dating. Okay. But I want to encourage you that this season of
dating can actually be really fun. It can be new. It can be different. It can be hard at times.
It can stretch you. It can reveal some things that
need healing, but we can have fun with it.
All right, we can grow, we can learn all that good stuff.
Okay, I'm gonna exit out of this here
so I can see most of the chat here.
Okay, good stuff.
All right, got more and more people.
All right, just a couple housekeeping items.
So I kind of went over just the reminders of phase two
for anybody that's jumping in, that's brand new to phase two
or watching and replay.
Don't rush through the process, okay?
Just like phase one, don't rush through, okay?
At the very minimum five weeks before you go to phase three.
I would even say that's even pushing it,
like that's pretty fast.
That's allowing yourself one week per video content.
Take your time, okay?
Now, do we want you in here for like months and months
and months and months and months?
No, but if you need to be, like we get that too, all right?
That's totally fine.
Stephanie, you're good, you're sitting there laughing.
Girl, you're good.
Sometimes we just need a little bit more time to process
and that is okay.
I do not want any of you ladies feeling
like you have to rush out of here
where then you're not getting the support that you need.
Okay, I am more concerned about you feeling supported
than anything else, okay?
That's why I don't want you ladies rushing through
because if you rush through,
chances are you're probably not truly getting the support
and the wisdom and the growth
that you really, truly, truly need to absorb, okay?
And I say this from experience.
I was in the program too.
Y'all, most of you know, I came in 2020,
didn't meet my husband until two years,
two plus years into the program, okay?
I've been married now since September of 23,
so a little over two years, okay?
So, lots of experience, lots of supernatural wisdom on that,
lots of different things I can speak into about that.
I was a single mom, dated long distance,
lending a family, my husband was a widow,
so obviously I have kids that lost a mother,
I mean, all the things, really, okay?
Their mother had mental health stuff.
I was an unmarried mom, okay?
I'd never been married before, so I was an unmarried person.
So, there's lots of stuff there.
So, there's probably something,
I can probably have some type of similarity
and relate in some way, okay?
So, yeah, don't rush through.
If you purchase Times and Seasons,
know that that replay is in that section of your app,
so you should have a little group,
you know, a little community tab for that.
So, I don't know how long that replay
and that community will be up,
so make sure that you watch the replay sooner
rather than later.
I'm speaking to myself because I was not 100% well
when Bethany Hicks did that workshop,
it was an extra workshop, it's like two hours,
it's a two-hour session,
so definitely make sure you get in there and watch that
to kind of set the tone for your year
and the times and seasons of 2026.
But that reminder, I think I've already talked about,
yeah, let's not rush into phase,
phase through phase one and two.
And then, yeah, and don't forget, ladies,
we do these Tuesday calls, we do a little bit of teaching,
we're gonna do a little bit of like, you know,
hopefully do some breakouts
where you guys can get to know each other
with some questions, some guided questions.
And then at the end of our time together,
we'll open the floor up for some extra coaching
if need be, myself and Ebony,
we will always open ourselves up
to be able to coach a little bit.
Now, we can't do an extensive coaching,
but I do utilize whatever questions you have,
if it's a good topic that I really think
many of you ladies are gonna benefit from,
we can pull from that, okay?
So I really do strongly encourage,
like, don't be shy about your questions, okay?
But I don't want you ladies to only wait
for these live sessions to ask questions,
make sure that you're going into the app
and unpacking and processing.
what's happening in your world in the app as well,
because we will also do our best to coach you through that
as well in the app.
And then we might be like, hey, come to the live
so we can kind of unpack a little more
and have more dialogue, okay?
So that's always an option.
I know myself and Epony will be like, hey, are you coming?
Because make sure you let me know
because I wanna talk to you about this
because we do think it's gonna help the group, okay?
So just keep that in mind.
If you're someone that just really needs
more one-on-one time with one of the coaches,
know that that is a resource that is available
for an additional fee.
So that service is available,
and you're gonna find those services
under the Resource tab in your app.
So it will say Coaches for Hire.
Myself and Epony, our schedules are up there.
You can click on our pictures.
Our schedules will pop up.
You can hire us for a 50-minute time slot.
There is a discount if you want to have a couple sessions.
There's not just me and Epony.
There's several coaches in our community.
So there's some from phase one.
There's some ladies that coach in phase three.
So you have, and you'll get their bios too.
So anybody that you just feel Holy Spirit is calling you to,
you most certainly can hire them.
And I've had people hire me,
and then they actually try out a couple different ones,
and they kind of flow around in the community
so that they get perspective from all the different coaches.
So just know that that's an option.
Like I said, it is an additional charge,
but a lot of women do really get
a lot of breakthrough in that.
So if that is an option and you really just feel
that is something that you will benefit from,
know that that is there, okay?
All right, well, I'm going to pray for us,
and then we're going to jump into our topic today.
It's going to be, some of you ladies,
get ready for this one, all right?
You ready?
It's understanding entitlement and dating.
Get ready.
We're going to do the best to have fun with it, okay?
This one was always one of those,
I didn't enjoy this one.
It's good, but I didn't enjoy it
because it's one of those things where like,
oh, I do that, oh, I do that too.
But I will tell you, it's good, all right?
We can have fun with it.
We can just, hey, acknowledge it, own it,
relate to it, all right?
There's no shame, there's no guilt, no condemnation in it.
We're just going to have fun with it, okay?
All right, so let's pray.
Heavenly Father, I just thank you
for this time together, Lord.
I thank you for all these women in this community,
not just here in phase two,
but all over last year's single, Lord.
I thank you for Jackie and David and all the leaders.
I thank you for Bethany, I thank you for Renee,
I thank you for Annette and Andrea
and just all the coaches, Cheryl, Reagan,
all the people in this program
that just literally do so much for your kingdom
and for love and for kingdom marriages, Lord.
I just, I thank you for that.
I thank you for each and every single person
in this community, Lord.
We wouldn't have this community
if there wasn't the people that had their yeses
to take the invitation to step into this community
and declare that, yes, this is their last year single,
that their desire for marriage is your desire
and they are just going to press into that.
So, Lord, I just thank you for that acknowledgement
that they are just declaring that their desire
for marriage comes from you.
And so, Lord, I just ask that this time together
be one of laughter, of fun, reflection, tenderness,
just openness to receive wisdom.
Lord, let there be no shame and no guilt,
but more of reflection and healing.
Lord, uncover areas of our heart that needs healing,
areas that you want to put light on and just comfort
and just place your arms around
to truly invite us in to that place of healing.
of just peace and serenity of what you have for us,
that we don't have to work against you,
that we don't have to take control,
that we are made in your image,
that your gifts are good,
what you want for us is good,
that a husband is good,
that you've created us for marriage and it is good,
even if we've had experiences in our past
that didn't feel good,
it wasn't your design.
So Lord, I just invite our time in this moment
just to just accept your goodness
and know that it's your will.
Goodness is your will, Lord.
And so I just ask that to be released
over our time together, in Jesus' name, amen.
All right, okay.
So our goal today, right,
for entitlement and dating
is we're gonna recognize some patterns
where entitlement kind of pops up in dating, okay?
So where that can show up,
what are some of these patterns
that maybe we're operating in,
that we know we're operating in,
and maybe some things that we do
that we don't realize is us operating in entitlement, okay?
And understanding how oftentimes it's the past
that's past hurts,
that's actually fueling those expectations,
those expectations of entitlement.
So we're gonna understand how the past
kind of ignites that entitlement and those expectations
and why then it's important
that we have this heart work
and why that's the foundation,
why God wants us healed, right?
That's why his desire is for us to heal.
That's why this program works.
This heart healing really,
I mean, when we really unlock and tap into that,
whoo, we can start letting go of all of those wounds
and all of those hurts
and we don't have to come into a dating experience
or a relationship where we're expecting things
and we feel like we're entitled to it
and we just have healthier relationships that way.
So we're gonna recognize those patterns,
we're gonna understand how some of it, a lot of it,
most of it, probably all of it is tied to past hurts
and then we're gonna learn how to shift
from that entitlement into this empowerment
to have healthy connection.
So that's the goal of this teaching today, okay?
So I always think it's important
to kind of get on the same page of the definition
like what is entitlement, all right?
So if you were to just, in your own words, in the chat,
what is entitlement to you?
What does it mean to be entitled?
Think on it for a minute and type it up.
I'll give you some time.
What does it mean to be entitled to you?
Something that's due to you.
This is what's right because I did X so they should do this.
So I did X, they should do Z
and that's the right thing to do.
It's deserving.
That's a good one.
Everything is centered on you.
That's a good perspective.
I love how Nadine is pointing that out.
Do you see how it's all self-focused?
It's all about you.
Love what it says, it's the world owes me everything
that I want and you don't have to do anything.
So making the assumption because it says
making the assumption that others should meet
the needs that were withheld from you
in the past by parental figures.
That's really specific, I love that.
So you're seeking someone else to give you something
that someone didn't give you in the past that you wanted
And in some cases, you probably deserve that, actually.
We all deserve parents that love us and care for us,
and we deserve safety and shelter and love.
And truth is, not everyone grows up receiving that.
Some people were born into families
where their parents had these wounds themselves
that those parents were not capable
of being able to give that to their children.
And that's not the child's fault.
And so then what happens is that child grows up,
then it's a natural desire to wanna be loved
and seen and cherished and protected and to feel safe.
And so it's natural to wanna go out and seek those things.
But do you see how we just assume and make assumptions
that others need to meet that need?
Like it's expected of them.
So these are all really good.
So I love that you all are on,
like you guys are on that and I love,
so is it Kalandra, did I pronounce that correctly?
You can unmute and correct me.
Kalandra, you got it, or Callie.
You go by Callie?
Yes.
Callie, okay, got it.
All right, I'm just making a note
because y'all I'm phonetically challenged.
I struggle with pronunciations of names.
And I used to be a school teacher, it's really bad.
And my son is actually struggles with dyslexia.
And I'm like, ooh, I wonder if I kind of contributed
to that because he struggles with phonics too.
So yeah, so she actually brings up a good point.
What's the difference between high standards
and entitlement?
So that's good.
So we're gonna, hopefully by the end of this session
and like spending some time this week,
pressing to the Holy Spirit,
Callie, I'm gonna really challenge you to press into that.
That's one of those things that I think is,
that's a really good question.
And I would love to be able to give you a simple answer,
but I think it's gonna, it's meatier than that.
I think this is definitely more of an invitation
where Holy Spirit wants to reveal something deeper.
And so it's a really great question.
So I'm praying and believing that God's gonna give you
some nuggets in our teaching today
to give you time to think about it.
And that this week and hopefully with our activation
that I'm gonna release over you ladies
at the end of our call to do this week,
which by the way, you ladies rocked the activation
this week of activating your inner bride
and going out and like getting dolled up
and doing your nails and doing different hairstyles
and trying on dresses and checking out wedding rings.
Like ladies, like y'all I've been coaching in phase two
for over two years and I just have to celebrate.
This is the first time in an extremely long, long time
where we had so much engagement with this activation.
Like I got so much joy and excitement
and I could hardly keep up in the app
because I was like, oh my goodness,
there is such a heavy engagement of people
like participating in the app.
And like I was so overjoyed.
So ladies, like celebrate that.
I am just so excited for this phase,
this season that we're in
and y'all just getting some tremendous breakthrough
because something was activated
and if you ladies can just continue to show up and engage,
continue to show up and engage,
like we're gonna see some really amazing things
that God's gonna do in this community.
And it starts because y'all choose your yes.
You decide to show up and you decide to participate
and then it gets fun.
Then it becomes really, really fun.
So like I said, congratulations, way to go on that.
it was so fun. Continue to keep those posts. And then I really want to encourage you to kind of
keep that momentum and I'm going to share that activation at the end of our call, okay? And
then myself or Ebony will post that as well to just remind you of what our activation. So,
Callie, I think that's going to hopefully help you get some insight on that difference between
what's a high standard and what's entitlement. I think that will really help. So, yeah,
you ladies are doing, that's really great. Like this whole idea of it's believing that
we deserve something just because we want it. That we have these expectations of outcomes,
responses, behaviors, and we're not honoring that the other person has free will.
It's an expectation that we have out of somebody without their consent.
Everybody has a free will. They have a choice. It's us thinking that because we deserve something
or we're owed something or we didn't get something and we want it, that that person
needs to give that to us. But they have a choice whether or not they do or not.
So, that is a really great way of being able, you ladies came up with some really,
really great definitions. So, that's really, really good. So, just keep that in mind
of how that's going to show up when we're dating. So, this is where now I want to kind of go into,
so your broken heart is what kind of leads us into this idea of what's entitlement.
Of what we're looking for when we're now dating, okay? So, like past hurt, disappointment,
rejection. It's going to create these unconscious beliefs, these lies that are going to
kind of start trickling in. So, we got hurt by someone. There's some pain. There's some
rejection that we felt. So, now we start looking at things through this lens of God owes me.
Or maybe this man owes me, he owes me this.
So, for example, I'm going to give you some of my past hurts, all right? I'm going to get
vulnerable with you ladies, all right? All right, and as I share, if you want to be vulnerable too
and share yours in the chat, go right ahead, all right? One of the big ones that came up when I was
doing heart work and in this program is this idea that men only wanted to date women that were
younger. And so, I needed to look younger and if I looked a certain way and if I was dating an older
guy, then he needed to acknowledge that he was with an attractive woman, an attractive younger
woman. Because it was a privilege. It was a privilege to be with me. Like, I graced you by dating you because I was
younger. Does that make sense? Because I had men in my past that left me for younger women.
My son's father, to be exact. And then I was dating people in this program and right before I met my spirit mate,
you know, one of the guys that actually, he was actually in this community and it was a guy that, you know, Jackie often
encouraged, you know, to set me up with and he actually lived in my area. I was living in Sarasota, Florida at the time,
which is not a place that typically has, like, 30, 40 somethings. And so, like, there was this, like, hot, attractive 30
something guy that was, you know, had been through heart work, that knew who Jackie was. And we went out on a date
finally, like a year after him being in the, you know, the community and knowing Jackie and having been introduced to
him, finally went out on a date with me. We had a really good time. And then I find out weeks later, he went on a ski
trip, which I knew about. And he met somebody else and come to find out she was 12 years younger than me. It's like, you
got to be kidding me.
You want to know what was really crazy about that? My son's dad, I was seven
months pregnant when my son's dad decided to leave me, and he left me for
someone who was 12 years younger than me. I was 32, she was 20, my son's dad was 30.
So I was like, how is this happening again? I was like, you've got to be
kidding me. So God was using that situation that I could have been bitter,
I could have been angry, I could have had this like negative like outlook on any
guy that, one, wanted to date younger women or date women that looked younger,
because that happened in this program too early on. There was a guy that was,
you know, he triggered me. There was this one gentleman, he reached out to me and I
was like, he was much older, and I wasn't really sure I wanted to date that much
older, and I didn't really come out and ask him how old he was. I just kind of
assumed because I thought I heard him share how old he was, and so I was trying
to politely let him know like, hey I'm flattered that you're, you know, wanting
to get to know me. I just want to let you know like, I don't see this really going
anywhere romantically. I just, I'm not really interested in dating someone
significantly older than myself. Y'all, he got, I triggered him, and he just like,
whoo, like he, like it was definitely a sore spot for him, and his sore spot then
kind of activated my sore spot, because then he started like, you know, he never
told me how old he was, but I later found out he actually was in fact the age that
they thought he was, and which was, I think he was like at least a good eight
years older than me at the time, and he started talking about how he had, well
last week I went on a date with, you know, a 22 year old. Y'all, he was like over his
mid-40s, and I was like, so I clearly got then hit, I triggered him, he, his trigger
then triggered me, and it was just this like whole thing, so I really got like, I
got how to sort out this whole age thing with me, okay, and it really just stemmed
from this past trauma stuff of like my own hurt and my own insecurity about
things, and so, you know, I could have stayed in that layer of hurt and
bitterness and all of that, you know, I could have, I could have sat there, or
luckily what I did choose to do is I invited the Lord into that space and, and
used my heartwork tools to kind of navigate me through what was I
believing, what lie was I believing, and what was God's truth, like what did I
choose to believe, and what did God actually tell me was true, and then lo
and behold, I actually, my husband is actually younger than me. Who would have
thought? Here I thought I was gonna marry someone that was gonna be older because
that was all, like I just figured I had to, I had to date older people because I
was never going to meet someone that was gonna date someone older, or my age, if
you will, so now I'm married to my husband, and I always joke with him still,
he might be younger, but I always tell him I still look younger. He's got a
little more gray hair than I do, but so that's just kind of one of those things
that I, like, I really struggled with that. I struggled with my looks, I
struggled with other people's looks, I struggled with, you know, if I took care
of myself and I looked a certain way, then someone else needed to as well. Like
that, I mean, I'm telling you, it was a really vain way of looking at dating.
Like, I didn't want to give certain people the time of day just by how they
looked, and through this program and through this community, God really
allowed me to kind of remove and put like, kind of put blinders on my eyes
when I was dating and I
I kind of learned how to stop looking on the outer appearance of the guys I was dating,
but more look at the inner heart.
And a lot of that truly came from my own hurt and insecurities about how I looked, my worth
and my value.
And again, that kind of keep going back to past hurts and experiences and rejections
I wasn't the popular girl in high school.
I was the dorky girl with glasses and I didn't blossom and fill out, like I didn't start
my period until I was 14 years old, so I didn't really develop until I was much older.
Most girls were doing that in 6th and 7th grade and I was like flat chested until I
think probably like sophomore, junior year.
And even then I wasn't really very, I was a board, like I was very, very skinny.
Like it wasn't really till college that I started actually getting curves and boys didn't
boys weren't attracted to me, y'all like I didn't, I didn't even go to my senior prom.
I didn't go to my senior prom.
I went to my junior prom and y'all know how I went to my junior prom because one of my
girlfriends had to convince a kid from her church that went to a completely different
school to go with me and then I actually had to pay for his ticket and all the things.
I didn't think I was pretty.
Guys didn't like me.
I wasn't pretty enough.
I wasn't attractive enough.
And so when I went to college, guess what happened?
Guys started to notice me, but guys started to notice me because I started getting curves
and then I started to, you know, use my body and my sexuality to attract and receive love
and it became very promiscuous.
And so then that just was like, then I just use dating for sex.
I mean, I'm being ladies, I'm being really vulnerable and raw here with you.
And so then I went into dating looking for sex and thought that's what that meant.
And so the only way to attract a man and keep a man was through sex.
And then that didn't work.
And then I thought, no, I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to have sex with anybody.
And then I thought I met a guy that was all about having family and marriage and all that.
And I gave it up very quickly and I got pregnant before marriage.
And then he left me for a younger woman.
So you see how a lot of those things, those traumas, those hurts, those rejections can
build calluses over our hearts and our views of how we look at dating and how it can shape
how we enter into a dating experience.
That's how it's very easy to get in that trap.
But ladies, you have heart work.
You have this community, you have this program.
And so that's what we're here to teach you.
This is a time of reflection, of being able to say, okay, what pain do I have from my
past that might lead me into this entitlement when I go into dating?
And how do I, like, what does that look like?
If I partner with that, what would that look like?
Okay.
It's important that we reframe our thinking of, I'm different now.
I have heart work and I can continue to heal and approach new connections with openness
instead of unhealthy expectations.
Let me repeat that.
See some people writing.
I'm different now.
I can continue to heal and approach new connections with openness instead of unhealthy expectations.
Okay.
So ways that we might partner with entitlement and dating, this might be a common way that
it can show up.
So I gave you some examples in my life, like how that.
you know, showed you some of my past hurts and kind of what some of my patterns were
and like how that showed up.
Okay, so now we're going to kind of get a little bit more into that.
So some other common ways that this might show up, okay, so that I want you to be thinking,
have you done this recently in your dating?
Or maybe if you're not dating yet, have you done this in your past?
Okay, because I know some of you ladies might not be into dating yet, which is totally
fine.
Okay, but if you're not, I want you to be thinking about past, have you done this?
If you are currently dating, now that you've gotten some heartwork, I want you to ask yourself,
have you shown up in any of these ways?
So are you expecting reciprocal interest?
Like it's expected.
Okay, now we teach like you want that reciprocal, like we want you to be reciprocating interest,
but are you expecting it?
So for example, well, I like him, so he should like me back.
I shared my feelings, so why is he not sharing his back with me?
I shared my answer to this question, so he owes me a response now.
You see what I'm saying?
Like I texted him, he needs to text me back.
I texted him immediately, and then now I send a text and he didn't immediately text me back.
Another one is like time investment entitlement.
We've been on three dates.
We've been chatting for two months.
He should commit already.
He should be the one to prompt a date, the next date.
He should be like, why didn't he plan the next day?
He should know by now, right?
He should, you know, he should by now invite me to meet his family.
I let him meet my family.
I invested my time.
He needs to meet my family.
Now some of you, y'all are like, he's introducing me to his family, and I don't want to introduce
him to mine.
That happens too.
I'm just giving you some examples.
I'm not saying that these are the only way that they show up.
Okay, so some of you are like, well, no, that doesn't happen to me because I don't, you
know, I'm just giving you some examples.
Okay.
So just thinking like, how am I, if I've spent this much time into something, then they need
to reciprocate that same amount of time.
Okay.
We've been dating for such and such time, so then this needs to be expected.
You know, for example, let's think about it this way.
Let's spin it a little bit.
How many of you like it when guys think, well, I've taken her out on three dates.
She should want to make out with me now.
How many of you experienced the men feeling entitled that they get to get something in
return because they've taken you out on so many dates?
We don't like it when men do it to us, right?
Guess what, ladies?
We do it to the men too.
Ours just looks different.
Ours looks more like a little pretty bow.
All right.
Ours probably doesn't feel as pressured and inappropriate, right?
We're not trying to get in the men's pants the way the men are trying to get in ours,
right?
Because that's typically been a lot of people's experience, right?
I get that a lot of times when we're like, men are just always wanting sex.
Truth is, guess what?
Women do too.
There's a lot of women out there in the dating world that are similar.
Let me tell you something, ladies.
These men wouldn't behave that way if there weren't women out there doing it.
That's why I encourage you ladies in not having sex before marriage.
These men show up like that because us women have given it to them.
myself included. I will own that and I'm not saying I'm not I'm not gonna say it
out of shame and guilt. I own it because it was a broken place that I was in. I
was not healed and I have forgiven myself for it. So that if that's you, no
you're not being shamed for it. I'm right there with you because I was you too.
But that's why, which I wasn't even gonna teach on this today, but I know a
lot of ladies struggle with this not kissing before you're exclusive. You know
not just the not having sex before marriage all right. Most of us typically
are all bore for that. Believe it or not most of the women that come in this
community are like yes we are looking for a man that doesn't want to have sex
before marriage okay. And then we get into a engagement or a marriage minor
relationship it gets a little harder. It's a little harder to have that
mind frame but we're you know most of the women I do feel that coming in here
most women are in alignment of that and that's what they're looking for. Now
where I get a little pushback is women like you mean I'm not allowed to kiss a
man unless I'm exclusive with him and like it's not a rule but it's a guard
rail. Y'all I was a kissing bandit. I loved kissing but again we put those in
place for a reason okay.
There's a whole reason for that okay. So I'm not gonna go into too much detail
with that but hopefully you kind of kind of understand it like I'm hoping this
will give you that flip side of like okay we don't like it when men do it to
us so it's being able to reflect and be like oh there might be times that I do
that and again this is not to put shame on us it's just to be a reflective and
like how am I showing up? Am I showing up healthy? Am I showing up out of fear
and hurt and trauma or am I showing up in the identity that I am in Christ? Okay
what you believe you become what you become you attract you know you want to
attract a healthy relationship we want to be healthy. That doesn't mean you have
to be fully healed and healthy in order to be in a healthy relationship and
attract a healthy person. Do not hear what I'm not saying okay. Y'all I've been
married for two years and I have flaws so does my husband. There are some areas
in our relationship that we need healing and we have to work through. That's why
we're like that's why our marriage is it works. That's why God brought us together
because we get to help each other refine each other that iron sharpens iron. You
know he helps me grow in areas that I'm weak and I help him grow in areas that
he's weak. Okay so it's not about perfection but I do like to think it's
about just reflecting. Are we open to being teachable and that's why you'll
hear us a lot teach you ladies and you'll hear Jackie you want a man with a
teachable heart. He doesn't have to be perfect he doesn't have to be fully
healed. Does he have a teachable heart? That doesn't mean you go and mother him
it doesn't mean that you go and be his teacher and his fixer. God and Jesus
are the ones that do that. We just come along and partner and help walk through
that process when it's appropriate in the season of the relationship that
you're in. Some of you ladies want to go into that mode and you're only in level
one or two like you barely know him he's a stranger and you're wanting to
go in and he's got to do this and he's he's wounded and he's not healed and
he's not healthy and you know he's not over his his divorce and he's ladies
it's not for you to figure that out. It's not. Don't worry about them not
being healed from their divorces and their past traumas. You just want to need
to focus on am I showing up healed from my stuff? What is God trying to pull out
of me?
and heal in me that's what I need to look at okay and I think we're gonna go
in that here and just a little bit more I'll go into that some more but I do
want to kind of get through because I do want to open it up for a breakout
session and be able to take questions from you ladies so another common way
that entitlement shows up in dating is emotional labor expectations expecting
someone to heal or grow at your pace so that kind of just goes with what I was
sharing you all been through heart work so now you kind of expect someone else
to be on the same level of healing that you have ladies not everybody has a
Jackie not everybody has a Carla and an Ebony not everybody has a Bethany not
everybody has this program and then I know a lot of ladies are like oh well
get me into phase three I want to meet the men that have heart work ladies just
because we have men in this community
they may have been introduced to heart work doesn't mean that they have walked
through their own heart work to the level that God has invited them to I
know some of y'all will be on these calls or you see the post and you're
like that that girl hasn't really done her heart work let's be real I did that
with some of the ladies in my community I'm like they're dating and she's not
really doing her heart work how is she getting dates y'all did that I'm not
perfect I had sometimes I got little like negative and bitter and down and
you know I you know was through a little pity party for myself all right so just
like there's women in our community and even myself there was just some areas I
was like I'm not doing that heart work yet on that area I don't need that you
know yeah and just like us and some women in here guess what the men just
because they're in our community doesn't mean that they fully and it doesn't mean
that they're not men that are not in heart work that haven't done their heart
work my husband was not in heart work but my husband went through a lot of
therapy and a lot of counseling to heal from his traumatic marriage with a woman
that one passed from cancer but he was in a 11 year marriage with someone who
was a borderline had borderline personality disorder yeah Wow is right
Karen I'm just learning a lot about that okay it's I'm like whoa you and I'm like
I have to be like you went through what and I have to give a lot of grace to my
husband because there's some things that he does that make me so like I'm
like what like why and then God reminds me he's like he's responding out of his
trauma because he was in a marriage where this was the norm for him for 11
years Carla this is nothing to do with you this is a trauma response in him and
I have to have a lot of grace for that and I can't go fix that God has to go
fix that with my husband so I mean that alone okay and he loved I mean he loved
her through all of that and she I mean she has two beautiful children that I
get to parent now and I and and I you know I I have to love and parent my
children who are learning you know things about their mother that they
might have not known about but remind them like she's a wonderful person she
might not have really known like certain things and there might have been she had
a trauma she was responding out of trauma and teaching my kids and my
husband to have compassion for her
you see how it's all just intertwined like it really like again this going
back to just because they have not had heart work doesn't mean that they
haven't had healing themselves all right bye Nadine good to see you we'll
have this in replay so you get to watch the last like half hour 45 minutes I'm
in replay so catch that so yeah keep that in mind you know healing again it's
not your it's not your place to decide
the pace of someone's healing. You're not even going to be able to determine
your husband's healing. Because your husband's going to have some healing, you're
going to have your own. You're not in charge of it, okay? So just because you've
done the hard work doesn't mean that others have or have had the support to
do that. Communication style demands. This is another one with entitlement. You know,
he should know how to communicate better. If he cared, he'd text me more or text me
differently. Y'all, fun fact, me and my husband have two completely different
communication styles. Totally different. Just last night we were doing a part
work for couples with Jackie and David and a few other couples. Holy moly, we
were talking after our session and I was like, oh, we're not communicating the
same. And he got kind of like, and I was like, and I wanted so much to like get
him to understand me and like, you know, and I'm like, we're just not
communicating. And I was able to release it. And I was like, this is not, I don't
need to, I don't need to force this. He's communicating differently than I am. And
I'm not sure how to communicate right now. So I'm just going to let this sit
and spend some time in prayer. And otherwise it would have just been this
massive fight. And so we're just, I mean, communication styles, believe it or not,
men and women communicate differently. Okay. So in dating, a guy might
communicate differently than you. Don't draw these assumptions because they
don't communicate the same way that you do. That it, it says something about them
or it says something about how they feel about you. Does that make sense? Okay.
Relationship timeline expectations, believing there's a right pace and other
should match yours. So again, that kind of goes back to, well, we've been, you know,
I get the question all the time, like, you know, how many dates do I need to be
on before we go exclusive? Well, there's no answer to that. It's going to look
differently for everybody. Okay. Just to, it depends on the two people and the
comfort of the two people and where both people are at and communicating and
being open and honest with each other of what that looks like. Okay. And that's
why we're here coaching you through that. Okay. We'll ask you questions and we'll
kind of help navigate that. And then past hurt compensation is another common way
that entitlement shows up in dating. So it's basically what that means is
expecting someone to repair your old wounds. Like if you have old wounds from
your parents, expecting someone to come and repair those. Me expecting my
husband to come and repair wounds from my son's father. Like fun fact, I wanted
to have another baby again. I didn't actually date guys that couldn't have
babies. Met my husband, discovered he had a vasectomy, really had to go to the
Lord with that one. Cause I thought that was a non-negotiable. And I was like,
cause God was like, I knew God told me I was going to have more kids. I'm like,
but God, you told me I was going to have more kids. Are you like, I don't like,
do I have to release this guy? I'm like, I really like this. There's just feels
like something I need to continue with this guy. Like something, something's on
this. And I'm like, but Lord, I don't want to, I don't want to go down heartbreak
again. I'm just, I can't go through heartbreak again. And I'm like, and he
can't have kids, you know? And luckily the Lord was like, Carla, I said, you
were going to have more kids. I didn't say you were going to birth them. And I
was like, what? I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. And so that again, that was
a non-negotiable that I released that I thought I was going to birth my own,
another child. But my husband was like, he asked me, I mean, he was point blank.
He's like, is you wanting another child? Is that going to cause resentment in
you? Because that is not, he's like, cause that's not something that I'm going
to give you. My husband was, my husband told me what, my husband was honest with
me and he didn't tell me what I wanted to hear. And that was one of the things
that I fell in love with him. I was like, wow, this is a man that literally isn't
just speaking, whispering, you know, sweet nothings to me in my ear. He's
willing to be raw, real.
vulnerable with me, say things that might hurt my feelings, but be completely
honest with me. And when he said that to me, he's like, it dawned on me that I'm
like, you're right. And so when God was like, I told you you're gonna have more
kids and so you're gonna birth them, God was like, you're just wanting this man to
fulfill and replace things that you feel like you didn't get to have in your
pregnancy. You had all these expectations and pregnancy and all these things that
you feel like you wanted to do, you wanted to do the gender reveal, and you
wanted to have the support of a husband through your pregnancy, and you didn't
get that. And so you're just wanting another baby because you wanted to
fulfill what you wanted. And that's not what I'm bringing you, because I have
something bigger for you. Because it's not about those things. It's about
something deeper. It's about the relationship. It's about the intimacy.
It's about something bigger. And I was like, oh, but y'all, like, it was timing.
I had to truly be in the position and the surrendered position to really
receive God sharing that with me and being open to hear that. If God shared
that with me early, I would have rejected it. It wouldn't have been what I wanted
to hear, because I wouldn't have been able to receive it. I wasn't in the right
mind frame. I guess I'm just saying that to be easy on yourself, be kind to
yourself, be gracious to yourself, be gracious to God in God's time. I feel
like we're getting so much more teaching than just this entitlement stuff, but I
want to stay on task because we're running out of time. All right, so now how
do we shift out of entitlement into empowerment? Just being able to recognize
the pattern. Notice when you're thinking, he should or I deserve. So
when you notice the he shoulds or I deserve thoughts as red flags, just again,
you're saying, oh, well, that's a flag. I don't even say red flags. I don't want to
say it. Just say it's a flag. It's a warning sign. It's a yellow flag to
indicate to yourself to look into that. Okay, when I say red flag, I feel like
that kind of has an alert on it to, like, bolt. I don't want you ladies to think
that. I really want you to, like, sit with it and reflect on it. Okay, you've
done nothing wrong. It's just a moment of being able to reflect. Separate
investment from outcomes. Okay, so your time, your energy, and your feelings are
gifts. They're not invoices. I hear from women all the time in this community, I
don't want to waste my time, but ladies, you cannot look at your time as an
invoice. It's a gift. Bless people with your time without needing something in
return. That one's gonna be a hard one. That's a hard one. I know that's a hard
one because, like I said, a lot of women really, really do oftentimes in our
community, I get this question probably more frequently than not, I don't want
to waste my time. I don't want to waste my time because we, the reality is, we
all have a clock. Whether it's a biological clock because we want
children or we have, we only have so much time on this earth. That's reality. So I
want you to sit with that one because what God is really sharing with me right
now, a lot of that's rooted in fear. The fear that we're not going to get to
enjoy all the things that God has for us. Like that scarcity, poverty mindset. So
I want you to sit with that one, okay? I know that one, I know that one challenges
a lot of you. I know that. And yes, giving too much to people in the past because
they take an advantage of you. Yes. So again, this is about balance, okay? This
is about knowing, okay? When are you overextending your gift, okay? That's
important. So I always want to preface like, ladies, when we teach these things, yes, there's
It's always gonna be that contradiction
because there's balance in all the things that we teach.
Okay?
So I love, Karen, that you brought that up.
Because, yes, your time is a gift.
It's not an invoice,
but you also don't want to extend that gift
to where boundaries are good, too,
which we teach on, I think,
boundaries might be the next week or the week after.
So it's all being able to take all the stuff
and being able to kind of balance it all together.
Reframed dating is another way
that we kind of shift out of entitlement to empowerment,
is dating is an opportunity for growth.
And this is what you're gonna hear me say all the time.
Many of you ladies that have been in here
for a few weeks now know that I say this all the time.
Dating is the opportunity for growth.
If you look at every good, bad, ugly dating situation,
God can use it for growth.
You're not owed anything, but God is gonna use everything.
I can't tell you how many nasty, ugly dates
I was on in this program that I was like, God still used.
And I was able to reframe it like,
that guy was a real, you know what?
And you know what?
God's shown me that in the past,
I would have kept giving that guy my time and day.
And you know what?
I'm not, I don't want to.
That's huge for me.
I'm gonna celebrate it.
And I did.
And I would use that as like a growth opportunity.
And I would go in the community and be like,
ladies, guess what happened?
This guy was a real, you know what?
And you know what?
I'm not attracted to that anymore.
How cool is that?
Like, I'm telling you,
we could sit there and just sit there and complain
and be like, oh my gosh,
this is the only kind of men that are out there.
Men suck.
I hate men.
This dating thing is, trust me.
There's a lot of women that will do that.
I've been in this group for five years as a single.
And then now as a coach, there's a lot of that will happen.
But if you reframe it and you're like, oh my gosh,
you don't have to look at it like that.
Just be like, I can see it now
and I'm not attracted to that.
And that doesn't mean that every man out there is like that.
So reframe, reframe your dating outlook.
Focus on what you can control,
which is boundaries, choices, and responses.
You get to choose how you respond to people.
You do, you have a choice in that.
Practice curious detachment instead of wondering,
like I wonder what's happening for him
instead of say, why isn't he doing what I want?
Why isn't he doing this?
Instead of like, I wonder why that is.
I wonder what's going on in his world.
And again, now some of you ladies
might do that more frequently.
And if you tend to do that because you extend too much grace
because you don't have enough boundaries yourself,
then that's not something that you're going to focus on.
Okay, these are for the ladies
that probably have more of that like more,
it's very, very clear that they're like,
why isn't he doing what I want?
There's more entitlement there.
If you are not someone that struggles
with this entitlement of,
if you are constantly looking at the other person
and meeting another person's needs,
this is probably not an area that you would shift.
Does that make sense?
Okay.
Continue using the supernatural surrender tools
from the heart work.
And then reflect like, have you prayed today
and invited God into every area of your life?
That's important.
And then honoring your needs without demanding change.
Like you need consistency
and to choose someone who's going to naturally offer it.
Okay, you don't have to demand it from someone,
but people can choose to give it to you.
Okay, there's a time and place
when you just have to let someone choose to do it
instead of demanding it.
Especially ladies, most of you ladies
are going to be in those level two stages of dating,
maybe early level threes.
Like you're just going to be starting
an exclusive relationship.
At that point, like those demands,
like that's going to look different.
Okay, it looks different when you're married to the person
because at that point you have a commitment.
Okay, it's okay to ask for certain needs,
but even...
And then there's not a whole lot,
like you still have to release control.
Did I freeze for a second?
I hope not.
Okay.
All right.
I don't know if I have time for breakout sessions,
but we're gonna just do this all together
because there's not a whole lot of us.
So, and I think this will open it up
for questions and feedback and coaching.
But before I do that, these are things,
this is the activation that I want you ladies
to do this week, okay?
I'm gonna try to do this short, brief and powerful.
We'll post in the app more details.
So if you're still kind of like, I'm not sure what to do,
be looking in the app and it'll have more details.
So that way I don't take up more time.
What you're gonna do this week
is you are going to anonymously
do an unreturnable act of kindness, anonymously.
Okay?
So these are the rules.
Am I frozen again?
Am I frozen?
Okay.
The rules.
You're gonna take no credit, no recognition.
You're not gonna get a thank you.
And there's no followup.
Okay?
So basically, if it can't come back to bless you,
you're doing it right.
Okay?
We're not gonna get recognition from this.
Okay?
Sort of, right?
You'll see what I mean.
Okay?
So here are some examples.
Anonymously pay for someone's coffee.
Give a compliment to somebody
who maybe is a little difficult.
Maybe you notice someone who's being rude to a cashier
and they're just like grumpy.
Go and give that person a compliment.
Someone who doesn't deserve a compliment,
go give them a compliment.
How about that?
That's something that doesn't even cost you anything.
You don't even have to know them.
Just walk away.
Just give them a compliment and walk away.
Okay?
That one you can't really do so much anonymously,
but you're not gonna get credit for that.
Does that make sense?
Like you're not gonna go get praise
because, oh, look at what I did.
Does that make sense?
Maybe pick up trash for people in your office.
Like if you work,
maybe do a job at your work
that people just don't like doing
and just go do it for somebody
without anybody knowing that you're doing it for them.
Maybe it's like y'all have to share like responsibilities
and everybody doesn't like having to do that one thing.
You just go do it anonymously.
Maybe you go bless somebody with a bouquet of flowers
that just needs some uplifting.
Maybe you know of a need of a neighbor or a friend
and you're just gonna go anonymously
put something in their mailbox or on their doorstep.
Maybe not their doorstep
because so many people have ring cameras nowadays.
But give somebody something
that they don't know that it came from you.
Maybe bless somebody with a gift card.
Maybe you like to go to the library
or bookstore or something.
Slip a gift card in a book and just leave it there.
That's it.
You don't have to know the outcome, nothing.
So everybody kind of, and here's the thing.
Those are just some ideas.
And once you spend time with the Lord
and ask him to reveal to you
what is it that you can do to bless someone
that maybe doesn't deserve it
where you're not gonna get any recognition for it, sort of.
Okay, because I'm gonna have, there's other prompting here.
Okay, and when you do that,
these are the things that I want you to do.
What did you feel like?
What did it feel like to give without being seen?
What did that feel like to you?
Did you notice any urges to be acknowledged?
Was there anything that you felt
like you needed that recognition or that acknowledgement?
And then did anything shift in your heart
around expectation or control?
Okay, so I want you to share
about the experience in our app,
but we're not gonna share about the act itself.
So that's kind of.
or you're gonna share about it, but not give us specifics
because I, again, we're not getting recognition
for what we did.
We're just gonna share about what experience we had with it.
Does that make sense?
So you might take a picture like of,
like if you bless somebody with a cup of coffee,
like take a picture of like the coffee,
but then don't take a picture of you like giving it,
like nothing like that.
Just maybe if you give flowers to somebody,
like take a picture of the flowers,
but not don't tell us like the situation
of who you gave them to and why.
Just I gave flowers, this is my experience with it.
You know, again, go back to those questions.
Like, what did it feel like
when you did it without needing to be seen?
Did you notice any urgencies
where you felt like you wanted to be acknowledged
or you needed to be acknowledged?
Was there a shift that you're like,
I usually feel like I have this expectation
that when I give something that I wanna thank you
and I didn't, like it was weird not getting that thank you
and I was shifting out of it.
I want you to be thinking about that, okay?
And here's some ideas like you can,
some caption ideas, if you will,
like giving without expectation felt freeing,
anonymous generosity hits different,
releasing entitlement, choosing grace,
no credit, just love,
no details, no names, no explanations, okay?
Because entitlement asks, what do I get?
Where grace asks, what can I give?
That makes sense?
Okay, so I want to open the floor for questions,
but I really do wanna prompt
because I wanted to do this breakout,
but y'all know me, I talk way too much,
something I gotta work on.
I always love that you ladies give me so much grace.
I want you ladies to get vulnerable with me here
and I want you, now, if you're currently dating,
this might be a little easier.
If you're not dating, then the second question
will probably be more helpful for you to answer, okay?
So you decide, like if you're dating, then don't worry.
If you're not dating yet, you can still participate, okay?
So I want some of you ladies to be brave.
I want some brave souls to share.
Where do you notice entitlement showing up
in your dating life currently?
Okay, for those of you that are dating,
I want some hands to go up for you share with us
what, where do you notice that showing up
in your dating life?
And then the other question that I'd like some people
to share is how might past hurts
create present expectations?
So that can be for anybody,
even if you haven't started dating yet,
because believe it or not,
some people that are hesitant about dating,
a lot of times it's because there is past hurts
that are kind of, we're holding onto
that we're expecting someone to show up as,
and that's why we're not jumping into dating.
Does that make sense?
So if that's something that you're experienced,
I want you to share a little bit about
what are some of those past hurts
that you can see you're having these expectations
about what dating might be like,
or maybe this belief of, well, I experienced this,
so this is what dating is gonna be like.
So what are those expectations?
And then if you have some other questions,
let's dive into those as well.
And I promise, as we refine these teachings,
I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get,
I'm just claiming I'm gonna get better
at shortening this material,
being short, brief and powerful.
Okay?
And hopefully, I, and you know,
I love your feedback too.
Like, is what I share helpful?
Be honest with me, I don't wanna hurt my feelings.
You guys can unmute, you can open it up, share away.
I feel like you're reading my mail today,
so it was very helpful.
Good, good, good.
Yes, very helpful.
Okay.
Thank you.
All right, good to know.
And ladies, if it's not helpful,
and you know, you can share it with me in the app
if you want to.
So.
Let me know. I'm always here to improve too.
I'm here to serve you ladies.
Remember that. That's my heart,
is I'm here to serve you.
You have feedback for me.
Don't ever feel like you cannot share that.
Because I'm always trying to get better too.
Mackenzie, I see you're unmuted.
What do you want to share from the question?
Then do you have a question of your own?
Maybe is it somewhat similar to what we taught on today?
Yeah, I think it definitely relates.
I've been working through the spirit of over-spiritualizing.
And I don't know if you remember,
in October I met a guy
and he really fit all of these dreams that I've been having.
And there were so many confirmations,
even just from things you'd said.
I have page after page of just surrendering to what God is doing.
And it just seemed like everything aligned.
So I don't think of myself as being very entitled.
Single mom, caretaker, all these things.
I don't have a lot of opportunity to be entitled.
But what you were saying did convict me
that I feel like I was entitled
in the sense that I had all these confirmations.
And hey, just a minute, baby.
I do, I want to come look at it in just a second, okay?
And I was...
Anyway, I was praying
that he would have the same confirmations.
And he also dreams prophetically.
So I was just, I felt,
I don't know if entitlement's the right thing,
but he should be having the same level of commitment
that I am because of all these things I've seen.
And so he ended up breaking up with me on Saturday
after three months.
And we had really, I thought we were really close.
But then that same time thing,
I went out to see him because I needed to meet him
and see how my body felt, all of those things.
And it was amazing.
We had a great date.
And I felt like that was enough.
The next piece was that I needed him to see me in my space,
not meet my kids yet, but just be here.
So I really pushed for that
because I have a weekend where the boys
are gonna be with their dad.
And I know I'll have that weekend.
And it's his birthday.
So I was like, just come out for your birthday.
It made so much sense to me.
And he asked for a week to think about it.
And then he decided he can't do it.
And so I'm just feeling really like,
yeah, was I walking in a sense of entitlement
and that stepping back,
like what am I supposed to learn in this?
Because yeah, it just feels like a little bit,
I mean, I guess that goes more into my other question
of how long do you wait to move on?
And then-
Okay, how long do you wait to move on
before you get back out there or how long?
Yeah, or like, do you have markers for like,
he's done and I shouldn't wait.
Cause he told me he's really good at moving on,
but I'm like, I don't know.
I just, I don't think I'm ready.
I'm not good at moving on.
So yeah, sorry.
It will be different for everybody.
And so that's, you get to decide for you
how much time you need.
Okay.
Good news is that you're in community.
So are you someone that,
do you avoid processing through it
that you will just stay in the place
where you just stay in the area of hurt
and not move on or does it take you time?
Are you a long processor where you just,
you might need some time,
but you're still processing through it?
I think I do, I don't process extremely quickly,
but I do.
I feel like God unfolds all the layers
as I pray through the things.
Again, that's where I don't think
there's really a timeframe that you can put on it.
I think as long as you are being gentle
and kind to yourself,
and you're not neglecting the process of.
processing. And partnering with God in that. Because God can
supernaturally accelerate your healing. Chances are, there's a
lot there could be things in this situation that are linked
to past things that God wants to unfold. Yeah, that's true.
That's why, again, I don't know how long that will be for you
because I don't know what from your past you God wants to help
you process through. Okay, only you and God know what it is
that you've processed through already and what needs to be
processed through. Does that make sense? So you get to take
the time that you need. Good news is that you're in this
community. And you have us coaches here that we get to do
that. So if you want to invite us into that process, we're at
your disposal. Yeah. So at this, at this stage where you're at
right now, just spend some time with what emotions are you
feeling? I think it's good that you know, you're reflecting on
this. Okay. Are you being convicted because you were maybe
acting in this entitlement? How much of it was entitlement? And
how much of it was things that were good boundaries? And
pacing? Yeah, I like you said, you, you went out to visit this
guy. And I, I do think I recall because yeah, you guys, you
didn't live in the same state. And you and he does he live near
your sister or he came and could see? Yeah, something Yeah, I
remember. I remember this conversation. Yeah. Once once
you ladies start giving me like little things. I'm like, Oh,
yeah, I do. Believe it or not have a good memory. Um, yeah,
like, I don't think that you were wrong in having excitement
about these things that God was showing you and you felt like
these were confirmations. I mean, those things were
beautiful. Okay, one thing that I can just share from my own
experience is there are times that God speaks to me and I
think he's telling me one thing when in fact, it's something
else that he's saying to me that gets revealed later. Yeah. So
and it's not like that I'm wrong in thinking that like, okay,
he's showing you all these confirmations, but he's going to
get to weave it into showing you something else that's probably
even more beautiful that later down the road, you're going to
realize why. And I know that's never the response that we want.
I don't know about you all, but I'm like, but I want to know it
right now, God, I don't want to wait. But then when it happens,
we're like, Oh my gosh, it all makes sense. And like, it's just
the the waiting part that we don't like. But yeah, when God
reveals it, we're like, now I know why I needed to wait,
because it actually has more meaning and more intentionality
behind it. Um, but I don't think you know, you having the request
for him to come in and invited you, you inviting him to see you
in your space. I think that was truly a value like it. I think
that was something that most certainly you could have
requested. But it's were you holding on to the expectation
that he did it? And, and what are your feelings directed
towards him because he didn't choose that? Mm hmm. It's
understanding that we can request someone to meet a need
or a desire, but it doesn't mean that they're going to choose it.
And if they don't, it's okay. It doesn't mean necessarily mean
that they're a bad person. Right? It just means he may not
be your person. And that's okay. Or it may mean that he's not in
a place where he's able to make that choice. And he might need
more time. Right?
Well, not to her, but I don't want to.
Because you've known him, what, for three months?
Yeah.
I mean, you really still probably don't know a whole lot about him.
Right. Right. But I just, yeah, I don't know if there's further, if I should, if there's a way to find, I mean, he wants to stay friends. So then I'm like, I don't know if I can do that.
So this is, this is, so then these are questions that you're going to ask yourself. If he wants to stay friends, that's going to have to be an initiation on his end.
Okay.
I'm going to.
I always want you ladies to, I don't ever want to tell you what you, what you need to do. I want you ladies to come to the realizations of what you ladies want to do.
Because I can tell you what to do, but that, that doesn't really do anybody any good.
I mean, I do that with my kids, like, and my kids sometimes don't even listen to me.
Right. I mean, and you know that as a mom, right.
I want like, and Papa God knows that, like, I would encourage you to allow him to reach out because he's the one that went and closed the door.
So you don't know what that looks like for him because here's the thing.
It is the authentic and wanting to have a friendship with you. Maybe.
You know what that definition of a friendship looks like to him.
Not yet.
Could he have said that because he's just trying not to be mean or seem like a bad guy.
Could be believe it or not, guys sometimes feel like they have to say that because women get emotional or respond and then take it on.
Like some women get very reactionary and explode and some women get all emotional.
Like, they don't know how, like, sometimes men just don't know how to respond.
So you get he at this point, the ball is in his court with what this looks like.
Yeah.
Are you able to remove.
And sit and process the emotions that you're feeling and spend time with the Lord.
Navigating areas of your heart that need healing and being able to navigate.
Any of these urgencies or things that you're feeling and believing, I think this is this is where.
Spending time.
Quiet time with the Lord and with yourself reflecting on.
What's surfacing in you, what are the thoughts and feelings that come up for you when he reaches out when he doesn't reaches out.
That would be the thing to sit in the processing.
And I would encourage you be sharing that with us in the in the group.
And we can coach you through that and we can see what the Lord wants to reveal.
Is that how. Yeah, no, that's because I told him no texting or calling because I'm.
I don't want to see his name come up on my phone, but that we could stay connected on social media or whatever.
You needed to figure out what is your boundary, what is going to be helpful for you to move past this.
And then.
If he decides he wants to have that friendship, it's going to be of his own initiation and what that looks like.
Yeah, but in this time and season.
I want you to spend time pressing in with the Lord about this experience.
You know what happened like I mean.
I like that you recognize like you have these confirmations and you really desire that he would, too.
And it sounds like he didn't.
And I can imagine like are you starting to question like what what's what are some of your thoughts and feelings on that?
Share that with us. What's surfacing?
What's going up in your head? Like what?
Beliefs, emotions.
What's what's coming up?
Well, I get a word for the year and my word for this year's fruition.
And like the last five years, it's been like rest and wait.
And, you know, so then 10 days later, he breaks up and I'm like, OK, well, it's not fruition of that.
But I also feel like God's calling me to explore my prophetic gifting.
And so I think this can kind of, it kind of feels like an attack on that because a lot
of the...
I don't want this to stunt your ability to hear from the Lord.
Right.
That's not, I'm not saying that the Lord did not confirm things for you.
It just...
Right.
The Lord can...
No, I don't.
I don't feel like you're saying that at all.
You're going to be confirming these are characteristics and qualities that your future husband has
and you're able to recognize it in a man.
But this man in particular may or may not have, like it may or may not be him.
But you're...
Well, I feel like he wasn't ready.
Like he...
You were ready.
Exactly.
Yeah.
But you're going to be able, you have more wisdom and knowledge and understanding of
what that looks like that now can you see how, would you say in the past relationships
were the qualities and characteristics of this guy the same or different than guys you
experienced in the past?
Well, that was the creepy thing is as I was processing that week when I gave him to just
think the things I would have needed to move forward into marriage were the three things
I asked my ex before we got married.
So like sobriety, commitment and, you know, counseling, giving yourself space, like a
space to process and integrate his trauma and like figure all of that out.
And so I was like, yeah, that I don't know that it felt like a red flag, but it definitely
was like he, the word I had before I started dating him was restitution, which is like
replacing what was lost.
And then his name is literally the name of my ex.
So it was like that.
So I know that there's some, there's something that God's doing, but I just thought it was
like one thing.
And so now it's just, it's hard to let go of that.
Just knowing that I only see the pieces and not the full picture.
I would say I like, I really feel, I want you to press into, I think it's really interesting
that you said you then asked or kind of telling him the things that you needed to move forward
with sobriety, counseling and commitment from this guy, which is the same thing you had
asked your ex to do.
And my guess is your ex did not, did not, did not do those things.
There was no commitment, sobriety or, or, um, counseling, right?
Yeah.
Right.
So did you start wondering, did you start doubting that this guy was able to do those
things as well?
Yeah.
I mean, I just knew I wasn't going to put myself in another marriage where those things
weren't being worked through.
Did you see signs in him where he, um, was he not a sober person?
Did he use drugs or alcohol?
Yeah.
He definitely, yeah.
Was using them for just to stop dreams that he was having.
But I feel like if he had, if he could go to counseling and work through those things,
you know, and I saw him grow.
So now you're asking for him to do counseling, but it's not his own will.
Well, and that's where I didn't ever ask that of him, but I just, I knew that that
was something that was going to have to come up if, if we were to grow in a healthy way.
And I want you to really, you know, recognize like you're seeing things that are non-negotiable
for you.
And I think in that of itself is the restitution and that will come into fruition as you're
learning and restoring these patterns you're recognizing so that you are not going to sit
here and the same fruit is not going to be produced because you're not going to be in
the same pattern.
You're restoring that pattern because you're not falling into that same pattern again.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Thank you.
That's good.
I would say you did hear the Lord.
It just, again, it was in a different, you were only seeing it in pieces.
He's able to use this situation, this relationship with this guy to show you another layer of
healing of, Hey, there was some really great qualities in you.
You hear from me, trust in that press into that.
I'm going to still.
be here for you. And now I'm giving you wisdom and discernment of hey, sobriety, commitment and
counseling and having a man with a teachable heart like looking for a man with those three M's
maturity, marriage minded and masculinity and having that openness to have a teachable heart.
Like those are the things ladies that you are looking for in this season of Discovery Dating.
You know, when you're out there dating, we're not dating to be like, is this my husband?
Okay. Like, yes, I know we're all wanting a husband, but you're assessing
and getting to know someone. How do they show up consistently?
You're not going to find that out in one or two dates. It takes time.
So it is about that pacing. So, you know, you got to know him over three months and in three months,
you kind of were seeing, okay, this guy is, you know, using drugs and alcohol. He's got
these dreams that he's trying to like halt that right there. That's a flag. Okay.
And now what does he do with that? Hey, you know, why do you feel like you have to,
you know, have a drink at night before? Oh, well, I'm just trying to, you know,
I don't know if this is what happened. Oh, I just, these dreams really freak me out. Okay. Well,
have you ever thought about what those dreams could mean? I mean, again, it's, it's asking
more questions to get to know them and their thought process and where they're at.
It's not making those assumptions. Did you ever ask him, like, what was he battling or why he
thought the way that he thought or what his, his, you know, his outlook on things were?
Yeah. I mean, there were like, just to him, it was very heavy prophetic dreams. So he, like,
he felt like it was very, yeah, it just, but I also think it might be a little bit of PTSD
or trauma too that he's like, Oh, did you ever, you know, have you ever talked to somebody about
it? Like, have you ever talked to a pastor or a counselor about that? Yeah. And what is,
I mean, he, he hasn't, he's a pretty new believer, like walking with the Lord or the, and so that he
hasn't lived, I don't think in Christian community. So my encouragement was just to find a
church community and not just his online community that he goes to a church online.
And you guys are long distance, so you're not getting to see, does he go through with that?
So that's what I'm saying. Like, can I ask you like a really vulnerable question?
Yeah. Okay. Yes. I'm a four. I can do it. Okay. Did, did you have any physical connection with him?
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, can you share?
Well, like when we were there, I kissed him and yeah, we've definitely like just felt a lot of
chemistry, but it didn't go past kissing. So, okay. Yeah. And that's fine. Okay. Again,
I'm saying this out of no judgment. It gives me a little bit of framework to kind of see
and help coach you that when we start having that physical intimacy, I mean, ladies, it can be as,
is something like handholding, honestly, sitting close to someone on the couch. Everyone is
different as what closeness, what closeness does for you. I knew for me, kissing, you had me in.
Like if I was kissing you, like I'm invested, I'm not trying to kiss anybody else. Like
I'm committed. If I'm kissing you, I'm only kissing you. That's me. Okay. Some other people
are like, Oh, I can kiss. Nope. That's not me. Nope. So when I was dating, I'm like,
I'm not kissing anybody unless I know I am fully in an intimacy with that person.
Nope. So when I was dating, I'm like, I'm not kissing anybody unless I know I am fully in a
committed relationship and this is leading towards something serious. And we are both invested
in this relationship and we both have an interest in moving forward.
Like that, that was something that I knew I had to make a decision for me. And so this helps me
help you all and coach you all. And I hope, you know, I hope you all are getting wisdom too,
from me coaching Mackenzie. And like, that's why I know, like I can't get to everybody,
but if I can get to a couple of you and you all can glean from each other, that's always my goal.
Again, I'm always trying to improve how much time I take on the teaching part so that I can.
spend more time individually with y'all.
But it's very easy, when we physically
start getting involved, it's like,
we start running with the physical, all right?
Our body's involved and we're like,
yeah, let's have a good time, right?
So it's, and especially when it's long distance,
and I say this out of experience,
because again, me and my husband were long distance.
I was in Florida, he was in Texas.
Okay, bye, Stephanie.
Thank you so much for sticking it out.
I know I'm taking a really long time,
so I appreciate you ladies,
all you ladies that are sticking out.
And if you need to go, go ladies.
I know I've taken a long time.
But spending time, especially that long distance,
really spending intentional time getting to know somebody
and seeing somebody in each other's community
before that physical stuff kind of takes place.
Does that make sense?
Because then our, especially for women,
ladies, that physical connection, it just,
those endorphins, it's a chemistry.
It literally is.
I mean, if you look at studies,
what they do with like orphans and infant children,
that skin-to-skin connection,
there is like chemical that gets released
when there is physical touch.
And for women, it gets released,
and there is a bonding that takes place.
And so when that happens, that's when those expectations
and that desire to draw closer with that person is there.
Right?
And again, it's just, and it's not meaning that
when you're in a relationship that you can't,
it's being able to recognize it and sit and process
and asking the Lord, help me understand myself better,
help me to discover myself better
so that I can use this knowledge
as I move forward into this next season,
as I get prepared to go back into dating.
Like, I don't want any of these ladies,
ladies, I want any of these experiences
to like allow the enemy to make you get down on yourself.
These are all open doors, open invitations
for us to just really grow and learn more about ourselves
so that we can show up in a much better version
of who we are.
But I do believe you are hearing confirmation from the Lord.
He is showing you things.
And I think it's natural to want,
like, when a man finds a wife,
he finds favor with the Lord.
A man knows when he finds his wife.
Jackie will tell you that.
She's witnessed it, okay?
She'll even tell you,
when she talks with couples before they get married,
she will talk to the couples together
and she talks to the couples individually.
She actually married me and my husband
and she asked both of us separately
when did we know?
Like, we were, you know, like, and how did we know?
And my husband knew from the moment he met me.
Now, that would probably freaked me out.
You know, he knew there was something, you know,
and that would have freaked me out.
And in fact, like, he did tell me pretty early on
and he probably, you know,
like, luckily it was God,
because I probably would, I was ready to cut and run.
But God will give a husband confirmation.
We just might not know when that is, okay?
It's just trusting that the Lord
does let our husbands know
when, like, hey, that's your wife.
And again, we don't ever know what these men's trauma's been,
what their past has really looked like,
but we have to know that we can trust
the Lord has got that handled.
And I think that's the thing that we need to know.
We need to know that we can trust the Lord
I just really want to just release this, you know, peace over you.
and we need to know that we can trust the Lord
I just really feel like, I just feel like hugging you.
I really do.
Like God just wants you to know, like he's, he's got you, he's with you and believe it
or not, you're going to, you're going to not need to take as long to process through and
get over.
It's not going to take you as long as long, as long of a time as you think it's going
to take.
Does that make sense?
Does that resonate?
I don't know.
Like, again, I'm just sensing that's what he wants you to know.
Yeah.
I did the math.
I was married 10 years and it took me three years to process.
So we dated four months.
So, uh, you know, 30% of that, so 27 days, you know?
No, no.
And, and I really honestly don't think it's going to take you 27 days.
Yeah.
I want, God wants you to know there's, there's no time.
He, he, he's literally not a, like time is like not like nothing to him.
Right?
Like he's outside of time.
He wants you to be reminded.
He is outside of time.
You need to rest in his time, which is outside of time.
I don't think this is just a word for Mackenzie.
I think this is a word for others on this call or in replay rest in knowing God is a
God that is outside of time and you can rest in his time, which is outside time.
Let's not hold on to what this, how long this is going to take, how quick this is going
to take.
The Lord wants you to release it.
It's time to release time.
So receive that.
Thank you so much for all your time, Carl.
I really, I treasure it.
Absolutely.
I, and I believe it's just, it's blessing other people too.
I'm afraid it does.
Okay.
Alexandra, you're my next person up.
Karen, can you type yours in the thing and I can hopefully address it once I finish up
with Alexandra.
Cause I am really going over on time today or, or next time, or maybe I can see Ebony.
No problem.
Okay.
I don't know about it.
So I want it posted somewhere or something.
I don't type that well.
It's okay.
Go ahead.
Go.
Okay.
All right.
Alexandra.
Do you go by Alexandra?
Do you go by like, I like either, but Alex, a lot of people call me Alex.
So were you the one that's like a guy called you Ellie and you didn't like, yeah, yeah.
I was like, yeah, that, I don't like it when people do that.
They just, I think it was like, cause it wasn't girly enough is how I felt like Alex
or Alexander.
That's I don't know.
I was like, I feel like you have some reason behind this.
I'm glad you, you feel that way too.
Yes.
So yeah.
No, you're not alone.
Yeah.
And I think I had even told him not to, that I'd prefer Alex or Alexandra and then he still
called me another name.
So, but yeah, yeah, but I was going to say you in red is really pretty.
Yeah.
I did the chat GPT for myself.
So like, I'm really observant of like colors, but you just look really pretty and natural.
So I wanted to, this is my son's old baseball team.
They like merged.
They're not the Matadors anymore.
They're now called the pack, which is like blue, like this powder blue, which also is
really good color on me.
I'm excited about that.
Yeah.
But I also went to Indiana university and we're going to the national championships
for football.
Oh my gosh.
Never.
Like I never, we were not a football team ever.
And so I was wearing this today and I'm like, I may not have any of my IU gear from before,
but I'm like, I can wear this and still support my, my, you know, my college.
That's exciting.
Excited about that.
But so thank you.
I'll be wearing a little bit more red at least through Monday and hopefully they'll get a
win and I can celebrate some more.
Yeah.
That's a big deal.
That's really cool.
Mine's I was going to post it.
I'm having trouble posting a video on the app cause I can also do it there, but I guess,
so I had this like dream birthed through this program, which was which had already been
kind of on my heart, which was to be in a.
play. And it more scared me than anything. It was more of like, this would be really
good character development for me in the past. Cause I've just spent a lot of my life like
trying to look good and like worried about what people think about me. And so I did like
cheerleading and soccer and anyway, I'm very focused on that. And so, and like being goofy
or silly, like I'm pretty self-conscious. So like, that's really difficult for me and
difficult when other people are being goofy or silly, especially in a relationship. I've
had some goofy boyfriends and I've just been super unattracted to them because of it. Um,
but that was just one particularly though. Anyway. So I, um, yeah, I've, God's kind of
stood out a couple of different things. Like people have just mentioned how, and it's just
been weird and maybe this is just because it's on my mind, but they're like, Oh, so-and-so
met the love of their life while they were acting in a movie or acting in a play. And
so now I'm like, as God's saying, like, I don't know if that's, what's going to happen,
but I'm really nervous. So I've told a couple of people probably not wisely after we had
last weeks on like earned Jackie's wisdom on who to share your dreams with. Yes. Yes.
Told my family and they're just like blank stares and then told some friends and they're
like, cause they don't see it in me because it's so not typically me. I'm assuming that's
why they're kind of weirded out about it. And one person, even that guy was dating was like,
are you sure that's a good idea? Like, um, if you've never done this before. And so I've had
some like disappointing responses, but I don't think that's from God. And so there is a local
theater. I am, I've been looking into like plays. I found one that I really liked that the role
would be really well fitted for me and like something I'm passionate about. Um, it's called
trouble in mind. And, uh, I just feel like I really relate to the girl and, but it was, so
anyway, I guess just kind of encouragement on like, should I even do this? How do I know if I
should be doing this? Like, um, because I would, my house is on the market right now, which was
another act of faith because financially I'm a little strapped and I also don't want to live
here in Tyler anymore. There's not a lot of young my age or anything to do so, but it's been on the
market and no offers. So in order to do this play, I think I would have to take it off the market for
a couple of months. Um, and also get like care for my dog. And it's just like a big time commitment
to be in a play. And so I prayed about it last night. And what came to mind was like, this is a
like, what I felt like the Holy spirit was speaking to me is like, look at this, like a
mission, like you're going to need support for your dog while you're there. You're going to have
to make some sacrifices, like, cause the play takes a lot. And I don't even know if I get the
part that the auditions are this weekend. So, okay. Yeah, it's kind of, but I, I guess this
dream was just birthed and I'm, I'm kind of floundering cause I don't have anyone to talk to
really about it. Well, when you're talking, I really am hearing the Lord, um, remind, want to
remind you that you're in this community and you know, like you brought up ladies, if you haven't
listened to Jackie's supernatural Saturday, definitely listen to it. It was really good.
It was about dreams and who do we share our dreams with? And, and I don't know if you recall this,
but when she shared about it, she talked about who not to share your dreams with,
but then didn't she remind you, this is your community. Yeah. Yeah. Community.
These are the people that you 100% can share your dreams with. Yeah. We're here to support you.
So, you know, and you know, you might've shared it with, you know, your family and all these
and they might not have received it. I don't want you to sit there and beat yourself up about it
and allow that to make you second guess this desire to put, you know, you're just going to
put into action. That's it. Yeah. Prayers into action. That's all you got to do. Let God figure
out all of that other stuff. So, you know, don't beat yourself up that you went and shared it.
Just recognize, you know what God's showing me and, and confirming to me, this is what Jackie
was. This is what God was sharing Jackie about who to share it with and confirming to me that
I'm in a community that's safe, that I can share these things with, and I'm going to stay engaged
and I'm going to continue to press into the Lord and I'm going to continue to keep going after and
take imperfect action.
to all these things that God is, you know, prompting me to do and I'm gonna let God handle the rest.
So I don't want you to feel distracted by any of that, like, or discouraged.
Because like you said, like, you don't know what the outcome is gonna be.
And I really felt like the Lord is saying, and I'm reminding of what Jackie always says,
you step in and do the natural things that you can do.
Put steps to your, you know, put feet to your prayers.
Mm-hmm.
Do the action steps that you can do.
Do the natural things so God can add his super.
Mm-hmm.
You do what you can do so God can go do what he can do.
Mm-hmm.
And God will figure all of that out.
So again, you're like, okay, the time, like, all the time that it's gonna take.
What did I just say?
God is outside of time.
Mm-hmm.
And he gets to literally map it all out.
Mm-hmm.
So you don't have to be in control of any of that.
That felt confirming, too, of just like, okay, I'm gonna put, of just putting my house off the market again
and thinking about, okay, well, I guess I'm not moving as soon as I want to
because this theater specifically helps with, like, newcomers.
Like, people, like, they want to foster creativity and people who aren't used to it.
Yeah.
So it just seems like the right place.
I say, you know, go for it.
And again, like, you know, I wrote down, like, the sacrifices.
Like, you're already in this mindset, like, oh, I'm gonna have to give.
You don't have to sacrifice anything.
Mm-hmm.
Like, you're just literally saying, God, I'm just gonna serve.
I want you to replace the word sacrifice with surrender.
Mm-hmm. That's a good idea.
I'm surrendering to God.
I'm not sacrificing anything.
I'm surrendering to God.
Mm-hmm.
And I think this is gonna, again, it's just gonna help you with identity.
Yeah.
Rebirthing something.
I just feel strongly about that.
Yeah, I wrote down even, like, just you said something about disappointments
with the dreams or something.
I'm not sure what I was thinking there.
I kind of lost it.
I don't know.
I don't know either.
There was something else I felt like I was, and I've lost it.
I don't know what it is.
If God wants me to have it come back, I will.
He'll remind me, and I'll be able to share it with you in his timing.
Right?
Yes.
So, yeah, I just surrender to him.
Yeah.
And, like, maybe it's Satan who's, like, because I'm, like,
why would people want me to be an expert at something that I'm just saying,
like, I'm wanting to enter into and learn about?
I'm just kind of frustrated.
So maybe that's not from God.
No, just to learn about it.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
I think, again, it's asking yourself, what's God's character?
If there's a feeling of disappointment and discouragement,
is that from God?
No.
Yeah.
God is not one that's going to fill us with discouragement,
disappointment, you know, fear.
Like, if there's any of those, then we know that it is not God.
So.
Yeah.
I'm like, well, wait, I'm not operating in what, you know,
God's wisdom right now, and that's okay.
Yeah.
Again, it's spending time with the Lord and be like, okay, Lord,
what is it?
What is it?
What is it that you have for me?
Yeah.
You have a community.
You have a community to sit through and process.
You have, you know, we have calls on Tuesdays.
We have two calls.
Every Tuesday, we have the app.
Myself and Ebony.
You know, float through.
Those, those replies.
All right on there too, because.
Yeah.
We can help you process through all of that. It's, it's always,
that's what we're here for.
Yeah.
Like we're your community. So.
Definitely, you know, press into that. Don't surrender.
You're not sacrificing your surrendering.
Yeah.
That's what we're going to, we're going to be in that.
And.
Yeah.
That's good.
Yeah.
So how, like, when do you have to do auditions?
It's either Friday night or Saturday afternoon.
I don't know which one to do.
I'm nervous.
Updating. Let us know which one you decide.
Like I'm trying to have my mindset just I think it's gonna even just going I think is gonna be really good for me
so I'm really excited just to go and who knows what doors open because of it like
Yeah, I don't know what the outcome is. You don't need to know what the outcome is. Yeah, and
Just yeah go with it. I'm excited. I'm like even this I mean, we're
Where do you live? It's East Texas. It's called Tyler. Okay, I was gonna say you said Tyler I was like, I think that's in Texas
Yeah
Yeah, and I don't like living here
So anyway, I'm like, I'm like anyway
We'll see if the play if I if I get the audition if I prolong
But I'm it's not my control who buys the house anyway, or when I mean you could get someone that would put an offer
On the house and they're like, hey, we need three months until we can move in. Yeah
You don't get to you don't have to control that. Yeah, but God's in it
God knows the outcome. Yeah
Like I mean I could sit here and talk more and more but I definitely know I've gone to two hours and I need to
Stop. Thank you. But you know, the Lord has done some pretty
crazy things with
Me and my love story and of itself like yeah with timing
that I had no control over and I was like, oh my goodness, I
That that was God because
It wasn't it wasn't me
Yeah, this feels very much like so I'm gonna see God show up. So thank you
Yeah, you just release it and again and don't have any expectation on what?
Mm-hmm, because a lot of times we think God's gonna show up one way and then it he doesn't
Yeah, then we get disappointed that happened
and
then
It all it all comes together, yeah
Just think it's not in it
Okay. All right, ladies. I appreciate you
Look forward to seeing y'all next week and seeing your activations
Hopefully you can touch base with ebony tonight
I'm gonna get better at this
Getting through things so we can spend more time
Dialoguing back and forth because I do want updates from you all so if I didn't get to hear from you
Please make a post
Leah I've been searching for your name because I feel like you you've given an update and that for some reason I can't find any
Updates in the app. So I'm gonna go search in because I want to know what's going on in your world
All right, and there's a couple of a few other ladies too, so all right, it's always a blessing
I will see you all next week and look forward to your activations and all the
Acts of kindness that you all get to in explore this week. Okay. All right. Love you ladies