Okay. Let's see. I did. Okay. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So I want you guys to get to know my
Brian and because he's going to be a part of the community too. And so we're going to
have fun tonight. So we have a few parts for tonight. I'm going to do some flash. I call
them flash questions. So there's something in your house you have to go get, you have
to come back and share it. So I have four flash questions tonight. Then I have three
more thoughtful, but not deep, heavy questions that I'm going to open to everybody. And then
I'm going to ask like, I'm going to have an opportunity where you guys get to ask the
opposite sex some questions. So I'm going to let you put questions in the box. I'm
going to feel them, see which ones I think are appropriate. And we're going to let the
men answer and then men, you're going to put in questions you would like the women to answer.
So we're going to kind of get some feedback there. Then I want you to guys get a chance
to ask us anything that you want, especially, you know, how he roped me in, I don't know.
And then we're going to, I'm going to spotlight like four or five of you to ask some new people
to ask my fun, deep, deep questions. But if you guys, I'm going to give you just in case
people are just coming on. So remember, this is single spotlight. He said, she said, so
single spotlight, we will spotlight people at the end. He said, she said was always meant
to be, what do the guys think? What do women think? And so we're going to be able to ask
everybody that. The goal is for you to be camera ready, camera on, even sick. I put
some lipstick on for y'all. I mean, I'm married and so I don't have to look camera ready,
but I made sure I look camera ready for y'all. Um, but an idea that you guys might have since
it's the new year and I know a lot of you did that's like, what time and season are
you in? One of the things that we did, we knew it was going to rain on our honeymoon
a few days. So I brought my laptop and I was like, Hey, we can work on our dreams and vision
board. And so one of the things that if you guys are stuck on what to do for goals, him
and I kind of came up with goals and we did it in five different categories. This is a
sidebar. I'm just giving you sidebar because in case you're not camera ready, I'm giving
you some new chicks and some men some time to get ready and look beautiful while I'm
doing this. So I'm giving you a few minutes to look beautiful. Okay. So I picked five
topics, faith, family and friends. That's number two, the future, where do we want to
go together, fitness and financial. So we came up with a bunch of things and then I
dumped it into chat GPT and I said, what are some common words, themes and verses that
attribute it to it? And then chat GPT came across and they were like, Brian, we think
based on your goals, steadfast should be your word. And here's why. And here's what it means
practically and here are some scriptures and here's some visual symbolism. Then it did
the same thing for me and it did it for us together. And then from that, I was able to
create our little vision board y'all like, so it's just some visual pictures. So you
can't really tell what our goals are for the year, but we're going to be hanging this up.
And so as a single person, I encourage you to do this so that like, I like white space
and you guys, I did not, I don't like, I'm so lazy. I don't like going to find magazines
and they're so expensive. Magazines are so expensive. And so honestly, for images, I
just Googled images and I just screenshot and I cut. And I'm sure I broke a lot of copyright
rules doing it. I don't care. No, I may try to pick pictures. And just in case you guys
don't think that Jesus care boards apply to married people, it does. And I know some of
you guys have done, some of you are crafters and you're artists and you do like really
fancy schmancy Jesus cares boards. And then you get me who like, we have the creativity
of a three-year-old. And so I just have a whiteboard that says Jesus cares with the
verse and post-its because guess where these now, Brian's got to fill up his, these are
just mine. So he's got to fill up his because that's the first Peter verse that we always
reference. But then I added another verse called Jesus delivers and I got Mark 11, 24.
Therefore, I tell you, whatever you do, you ask for a prayer, believe that you received
it and it will be yours. So that's the Jesus cares. And this is the Jesus answered. And
so I just wanted you guys to know everything you learn in heart work applies after you're
married to, for you guys to be a healthy unit. So practice all of that stuff now. Okay. Camera
ready. Are we camera ready? All right.
Your first question for Cameron.
They want to know what your steadfast word was.
Oh, you told them mine.
Oh, yes.
His was steadfast.
Mine was grounded, which was really good.
Because my whole life changed last year.
And I'm about to graduate this year from seminary.
And I still have no freaking clue
what I'm going to do with it.
But I better do something so I can pay off this student loan
that I took out.
And I wiped out my savings account to do it.
But no, we have some ideas.
I mean, I know completely I have this.
So I thought grounded was a really good word for me.
Like, I like the idea of me just feeling safe and grounded.
Like, now that I'm married and trusting in somebody else
to kind of shepherd me, y'all, I've
been single my whole life.
So that's really scary.
And the word that it gave for us together
was abide, which I really love that word abide.
Abide means like abide with God, abide with one another.
But it really focused a lot about us going to Him first
and not just to each other.
So great question.
I'm glad.
Thank you for checking in on that for me.
Because you know I don't see out of my right eye
in the chat bars over there.
OK.
Your first question, and there's no shame in this one.
So your first question is, go get a Christmas decoration
that's still lying around your house.
It's January 16th, people.
16th.
Oh, it's the 15th.
But it's after Epiphany.
Now, if you have a whole tree hanging up,
just grab an ornament from the tree,
something that lets us know your tree is still up.
So go grab.
It could be a winter.
You might be like, well, I've decorated for winter now.
We still have his whole Pittsburgh Steelers,
what do you call it, village?
Christmas village still up.
Because it kind of looks like a winter scene.
So we still have that sticking up.
I love it, Wisdene.
OK, so Wisdene, you better go grab me an ornament.
I want to see something from it.
So once you have your item, raise your hand.
And I'm going to call on you, and you're
going to tell us what it is and why it's still up.
OK, so I see a couple of you.
So Gail, I think I saw your hand up.
Gail, what's your item?
It's a Christmas card.
And it has my cat.
Is your volume up?
Wait, oh, my bad.
My volume was turned off.
Go ahead, do it again.
It's a Christmas card.
I love it.
My little cat is on it.
I got him to wear a Santa hat.
I love it.
Oh, I see a lot of people with their hands raised.
I'm so excited to see what people still have up.
I love it.
Tameka, what do you got for us?
I have poinsettias.
I have about 10 poinsettias around the house
alongside some other Christmas ornaments.
I still have them up with my Christmas tree.
Well, and they don't die.
Poinsettias don't die, man.
Those things can last.
So I say keep those beautiful things up.
I love it.
Thank you.
I love it.
OK, Gail Harden, what you got?
Hi, I have, it's like an ornament.
Door hanger is what I use it for.
And I decorate everywhere.
Everything is put away, but this was still hanging around.
I love that.
OK, so Gail, normally every year there's
always one item that somehow does not get packed away.
It's like the potholder.
It's hanging on the door.
It's a something.
And you find it, and you're like, well, dang it, crap.
All my Christmas stuff is put away.
So I feel you.
It'll probably be somewhere in the closet or in a drawer
until next year.
I feel you.
It's all good.
OK, Bernice, Bernice, you're up.
What you got for us, girl?
OK, I never put up Christmas ornaments
because I'm packing to move.
But this was still out, so it's a manger.
And it's a Christmas ornament.
Oh, I love it.
And Jesus is always the reason, man.
So I think that's a good thing to keep up all the time.
I love it.
Marsha, what do you got?
Oh, OK, can you hear me?
Oh, OK.
You still have your tree up.
No shame in that game.
One of my favorite ornaments.
This is one of my late dogs.
This is my late dog.
This represents Daisy.
I bought this ornament when she was still alive,
while I was working at a craft store years ago.
I also got my duchess.
That represents my other late dog.
These were great dogs.
I love that.
That's so precious.
Thank you for sharing that.
David Wright, what do you got for us, buddy?
So I have my little, my grandma made me this.
He's my little David gingerbread man.
And she passed away a couple of years ago.
And so I think she hand-painted it, and so I think about her.
I love that.
I was in the Nutcracker once.
So I always have these little.
those pegs that are all the different characters
from Nutcracker.
So I like to, it's hard,
it's always hard for me to put them away.
And then another one that represents grandma too.
Those are always like,
it takes me about a month
and I always give myself till January
and then they can go, they can go away.
They can't be around until January but.
I love it.
Megan.
I put up all my decorations,
but the one ornament that I left out
is a picture of my dog.
She passed away this fall
and it's the first Christmas without her.
So my friend, one of my friends sent this to me
like a couple of weeks before Christmas.
And I just, it like just about wrecked me
when I saw this.
I was like, that's the sweetest, most thoughtful gift.
And I'm like, I don't think I can ever put this up.
So it's just staying on myself.
So sweet.
My friend, I lost one of my dogs
on like Thanksgiving weekend
and she got me a paw print with his name on it.
And I like lost my cookie.
So I feel you girl.
I feel you girl.
I have that too.
I know.
Oh my gosh.
I love that.
Kim, what do you have for us?
Oh, hold on.
Oh, I love it.
Look at us.
I love it.
So y'all are so sentimental.
I love how sentimental.
I actually found this at a thrift store
but I was born and raised in Anchorage, Alaska.
So it's very special to me.
Oh my gosh.
I love that.
You guys, do you see how
I'm not just like having fun with you all tonight.
Like this is a way for you guys to get to know the people
in your community,
either that you may want to date personally
or it would be perfect for your sister or brother
or uncle or cousin, right?
So we believe in community matchmaking.
I'm also giving you good dating ideas.
Like you always say like, what do I say on level two dating?
Like, what are some fun questions?
I'm giving you fun examples tonight.
This is how you have fun getting to know somebody
without asking them, what do you do for a living?
Where do you work?
You know, all that stuff.
Is it Alla?
Am I saying that correctly?
Yes.
Okay.
I have this little
house.
I know it's not really Christmas decoration,
but I'm really happy to be a proud homeowner.
I love that.
I love it.
Thank you for sharing that.
I love it.
Yesenia.
Am I saying that correctly?
Yesenia, I love that name.
It's fun.
Yeah, that was perfect.
All right.
So I still have my wintry trees up.
Nice.
I'm a very big tree person.
I have branches here.
Cool.
I'm a very big tree person.
That's the main thing I have up.
I still have my Christmas tree up,
but it's not Christmas tree anymore.
It's a Valentine's day tree now.
I love it.
I saw Regina does a Valentine,
that she keeps hers up all year long
and it's just pink.
I love it.
So I never used to do that.
And all of a sudden I've been,
I guess it's the whole psychoactivation thing.
And I bring a lot of love stuff up.
I love it.
That's awesome.
I love it.
Mary, what do you got for us?
My Hallmark ornament collection's still out.
Oh, I love that.
I love that.
That's awesome.
You guys are all so sentimental.
I love it.
Karen, what do you got for us?
This Karen?
Karen, Liberty Hall.
Oh, okay.
Liberty Hill.
Oh, Liberty Hill, sorry.
This is my angel.
Nice.
And it's name is Listen Herald.
Ooh, okay.
Hark the Herald Angels Sing.
So it's-
I love that.
Hark means listen.
And then Herald, I just thought was kind of funny.
I love it.
Yeah.
I love it.
Thank you.
What do you got?
Forgotten decoration.
It was on the table.
Actually, my mom was into ceramics and she made it
and her initials are on the back of it in 1979.
Oh my gosh.
I love that.
I think she used to put candies on it,
but since I'm healthy now, it was holding my chapstick.
I love it.
Crystal, that's so sweet.
You'll treasure that.
Helen, what you got?
Hi, everybody.
This was a season of firsts for me
and it was my first time decorating my own place
after years and years and years of roommates.
Yeah.
Not roommates, but I'm over that 100%,
except for a roommate.
Anyway, this ornaments that I got
at a kind of thrift store in SoCal, here in SoCal.
And I think it'll stay all year long.
Awesome.
I love it.
Abram, I saw you hold up something,
but you're not raising your hand.
Did I, did you have something?
Yeah, I want you to tell us what you got.
I like hearing from the guys, too.
Oh, you might have to go get it now.
While we're waiting for him, Tiffany, I'll let you go.
This is a harp, because I'm a harpist, so my...
You're a harpist. Oh, my gosh. That's awesome.
So my tree is always full of harp ornaments.
Oh, my gosh. I love that.
Like, who doesn't love a good harp?
I mean, my gosh, that's, like, one of the most romantic.
It's up there with a saxophone for me.
Oh, my gosh. I love knowing that you do that.
See, y'all, like, we just learned something about Tiffany
that would not have naturally just come up.
Abram, what you got?
All right. Can you hear me?
Yeah.
Oh, is it an ornament?
I love it.
I can't see. What is it?
Is it the Wiseman?
Oh, now I lost you. I lost your voice.
We just lost your voice somehow.
I know my earbuds don't always work, either.
Can you hear me? I can't hear you.
Dang it. All right.
Type in the chat what it is.
I love it. It's beautiful, but type in the chat what it is
so we can be clear on what it is.
It looks like the Wiseman, doesn't it?
Kind of, yes.
Like a Nativity scene or Wiseman.
Yeah, yeah. We love it.
All right. Candy, you're up. What you got?
Yeah. I still have my Christmas tree up.
So, this year, I find the wood from the thrift store,
so I make my own ornament.
And I have a Bible verse on it.
I have a Bible verse. It's Roman 1513.
I love it.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace
as you trust in him so that you may overflow with hope
by the power of the Holy Spirit.
I made this, yeah, I made that this year.
Congratulations. I love that. You guys, I love this.
I'm so glad I asked this question.
Jessica, what do you got?
Well, let me see if I can, can you hear me?
I can hear you.
All right. Let me see if I can, oh, yeah.
I have everything up yet.
I love it.
I am a Christmas tree.
I love Christmas, and I just can't let it go.
And what will happen, though, is sometime in the next two weeks.
So, what is your typical,
how long will you try to hang on for?
Well, in the next two weeks sometime, one day I'll go,
all right, I'm done, and then I'll get done.
Yeah. Brian was really mad at how fast
I took the decorations down.
He's like, that's the fastest I've ever had them come down.
And I was like, I just didn't want to come home
from our honeymoon and have them still up.
Not to mention, our condo's the size of a pea.
So, like, it's real estate.
It's space in my home that we desperately need.
So, I love, Jessica, I love it.
I mean, just so you know,
I put it up a week before Thanksgiving, so.
Okay, well, you gotta, that's awesome.
And you know what?
I say, enjoy it, girl.
You might've won the prize tonight.
Gina, you're the last one.
Okay, well, mine's not really an ornament.
This is it.
Everything else is put away.
What is that?
It's my little dog,
and she's still wearing her little penguin sweater.
Oh my gosh, I stinkin' love it.
That is too cute.
I love it.
You can see her.
She's busy.
I love it.
Oh my goodness, so adorable.
All right, okay.
All right, I'm making sure there was no other questions
that I needed to ask.
Okay, well, somebody else said, Jessica,
Tamika said, Tamika,
do you still have all your decorations up too?
You guys are awesome.
I love it.
Okay, I love that.
I love that, so fun.
Okay, number two question.
Go find us your,
either your favorite slippers or your favorite blanket.
Since it's cold for most of us, not all of us, it's cold.
So what do you snuggle?
It could be a little stuffed animal.
It could be a blankie or your favorite slipper.
So go get them and come on back and raise your hand.
Oh, look it, some people are already ready.
I'm gonna wait just a moment.
So we can-
They were probably already wrapped up in them.
They were.
Fair.
I got one.
I will be honest with y'all.
I have my slippers, which Brian got matching slippers.
I literally went to the Warby Parker store
with them on today.
I was like, I'm not even changed.
I didn't even realize that.
But I left the house with my slippers on.
I don't care.
It's 25 degrees in Nashville.
Kim, what you got?
Let me see them.
You gotta show them.
You can't just tell us, you gotta show it.
Okay, what is it?
What are you showing us?
Slippers.
They're cute. They're pink.
It was my roommate got them for me.
I love them.
They're sweet.
So super sweet.
They look comfy and more.
They are very comfy.
Love it.
Tammy, what you got?
Oh, okay.
I
puppies on this throw the puppies, his little Christmas hats and different.
And I got this a couple of years ago at Walmart and a dollar more in the store
than it was the online price.
And so I asked the cashier to give me the cheaper price for it.
He said, well, it is Christmas.
And he gave me the dollar off.
So I got it for nine 99.
It's a throw.
I love it.
Real soft.
Love it.
Hunter, what you got?
My, I have, my mom was getting, giving me a lot of blankets all the time.
And she got me this, this is so soft.
I want to snuggle him and make me sleep.
So darn soft.
I just can't say no to it.
Oh my gosh.
I love it.
I got really put, I got off the couch because if I sleep with so much, I would
snuggle and I wouldn't want to get out of bed.
Well, we feel you.
We're right there with you.
Karen Liberty, Liberty Hill.
What you got?
Okay.
I've got my bombas.
Uh, are they really as good as people say they are?
They're incredible.
Yes.
I got all three of my kids, my girls, uh, them for Christmas.
They come in the pink and then they come in like a caramel.
They're amazing.
Do they come in kid sizes?
I don't know.
I don't know if they do.
That's a great idea though.
Bombas size two.
Children's two.
Oh, wow.
I know.
I got little feet.
Wow.
Yeah, they're amazing.
They're amazing.
Oh my gosh.
So good to know.
Marsha, what do you got for us?
Okay.
This is what I have.
I have my knee slippers that I, that I got for Christmas.
I love them.
I've been wearing them as much as possible.
I'm actually, I'm blessed with a great job right now.
And of course, these are my shoes of choice, unless I decide to go outside.
On break, these slippers are, they're very warm.
Can you see them?
Oh my gosh.
I love it.
They look so warm and fuzzy.
Thank you for sharing.
Pam, what do you got girl?
Well, I didn't have to go very far, but, um, these are moccasins
that were made by, um, we've got lots of,
I feel like we all have got like similar little shoes.
First Nations around.
And then I have my blanket that is suede on one side and a
fuzzy lamb on the other side.
Love it.
Mary, what you got for us?
I got my Bob slip-ons.
I love it.
Melissa Dawn, what you got girl?
Okay.
So, um, this is a very rich color turquoise, which I appreciate very much.
However, this blanket is standing in as a representative for a different
blanket that was not able to make it here to my chair this evening.
Um, is actually desirable, incredibly soothing to the nervous system.
And it is a weighted blanket.
However, it's a boring gray and therefore this more shiny, happy
representative, which also also accompanies that decided to come
and speak on his behalf and celebrate its excellent quality.
So do you, are you a big fan of the weighted blanket?
I love it.
Yeah.
How many people are big weighted blanket fans?
I bet you there's a lot of you guys.
I've always wanted to do that.
Go get our blanket.
I want to show them our blanket.
Okay.
No, not your way, but you have a weighted blanket all the time.
I didn't know you had a weighted blanket.
Look at that y'all.
I'm still learning things about them.
Awesome.
I love it.
Okay.
Rhonda, what do you got?
Well, no surprise out in Canada.
We all have blankets out here too.
Yeah.
I'm double whammying because I refuse to have hot feet in cold winters.
Yeah.
So I never have cozy shoes on in the winter.
That is hilarious.
My feet are claustrophobic.
Oh my gosh.
I have my favorite blanket.
You guys, do you see what we're learning about each other?
I love it.
My mom made this for me almost 20 years ago when I moved out of the city and
it's got, um, some of the, the thread in it is like a woven with gold in it.
And so that was when God was talking to me about just gold in our lives.
And so she had made this with me.
I love it.
Yesenia, what do you got?
So my youngest son gave me this blanket for Christmas, but he, um, worked like
did chores and earned some money.
And then I was in the blanket, blanket comes out.
Oh, so does Kiwi.
So yeah, this is my cuddle buddy.
Oh, I love that.
I was wondering how many people would bring their pet
to the cuddle session.
I love that.
Bernice.
Okay, I don't have slippers, but I love fuzzy socks.
Oh, I'm a fuzzy sock girl.
Y'all, I think I brought him on my honeymoon.
I'm not gonna lie.
The lingerie and the fuzzy socks all at the same time.
To Jamaica.
It's true.
I feel you, girl.
All right, Tiffany.
I could only find one, but
she's looking for Gryffindor.
What is it?
Harry Potter.
Oh my gosh, Harry Potter.
Yeah, the Gryffindor house.
Yep, see, we just learned she's a Harry Potter girl, y'all.
I love it.
Look it, we learned Tiffany does the harp, right?
And you love that.
I love it.
Okay, I'm not gonna say your name correctly.
Is it Hoke?
Hoke?
Tell me how to pronounce your name.
It's Hokehe.
Hokehe.
Ooh, I like that.
That's pretty.
Thank you.
I have my blanket I love to cuddle with,
and it's, how would I describe this?
It's really smooth on this side,
and then it's fuzzy on this side.
Nice.
It's really warm.
Nice, I love it.
All right, we have a couple more.
Tameka.
Yes, I have a, I think it's called a Snuggie.
Oh, yeah.
It's from my alma mater, Auburn University,
but I can put my arms in it and sit back and watch TV
and just be comfortable.
So this is one of my-
I love it.
I can't believe you're the first Snuggie we're seeing.
That's awesome.
Brenda.
I have my slippers, and they're kind of well-worn,
but they're good, so.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh, I love that.
I love that.
I just have them on my feet, so.
I love it.
Okay, now I'm just sliding through.
All right.
All right, I'm gonna show you our very own Cheryl,
and Amber got this for me as a,
me and Brian, as a wedding gift,
and it was the first item I got
with my new last name on it.
It is, it says, well, you can't really,
it's too far back.
It says, Mr. and Mrs. DeVore established 10-18-2025.
So it has our wedding date on there, too.
So now it's one of my favorite blankets, right?
It is her favorite blanket.
It is my favorite blanket.
She's wrapped up in it all the time.
I am wrapped up in it all the time,
because the couch, I swear, has a draft by the window,
and so it's the perfect little size for it.
Okay, you guys, we took a lot of time
for those two questions.
I'm not gonna do the other two,
because we have a lot of other fun questions,
but I hope this is helping you.
What a great way for you guys
to get to know each other, right?
And these are great date questions,
because it's a way for people to unpack family heirlooms
and things that matter to you
without you going, what's your favorite color?
What are your favorite shows?
This is a fun way to do it.
Okay, the next question,
so I'm gonna have the next three questions.
You're gonna just get in and get out
in less than 45 seconds with your answer.
So this could be applied to anybody.
The first question is, since it's the new year,
what are you getting rid of?
What did you, what are you,
or what did you get rid of in your life this year, and why?
So something that you're gonna not do anymore.
It could be a tangible item that you got out of your house.
It could be like the old boyfriend
or girlfriend's gifts to you,
or it could be an activity you're not gonna do anymore
because you're making room for the new, the good.
David.
I am no longer working nights.
So I worked overnights for 10 years
and now we're making time for a spirit mate.
So no more nights and now I'm full days, so.
I love it.
I love that.
That's so good.
I love that you're making space for that.
Crystal Parrot, what about you?
What are you not doing anymore?
It's not a not doing, but I cleaned out my closet
because I'm the kind of person
that can keep their clothes very nice for a long time.
But I decided to, I haven't gone shopping yet,
but I've cleaned it out.
I actually took a picture.
I was gonna post it in the group of,
I cleaned out all my pajamas, my socks, my shirts,
my sweaters, my pants, everything.
So there's like all this big, huge open space in my closet.
Love it.
And I need to go get new stuff.
I love that.
I just saw your message, Megan.
I promise you, if I could have taken my dog
on my honeymoon, I would have.
Brian got.
me a Christmas gift from faith and it's a mug and it's a picture of her in the
dress that she wore as my flower girl in the wedding because y'all know she
walked down the aisle in my wedding and she's such a princess and it says I know
you adopted me but I own you and she miss princess she totally does she
totally owns me um okay Kim um I got rid of a lot of things my ex-boyfriend got
me um and then I actually mailed it back to him with his address as the
return address so I can make room for my husband that's coming I love that yes
ma'am yes ma'am and he's gonna have to be
Renee and Brian approved we are meeting on zoom your man I'm telling you um Gail
what about you girl I did a lot of purging but I got rid of my Peloton I
sold it and I joined a gym Wow cuz I know you adored your Peloton I did but
you know what with it keeps you alone in the house that I was isolating myself
yeah I joined a gym and it's a mixture but I have to actually walk in to this
gym and there's a lot of people there today there was a lot of people it was
kind of so I'm trying not to isolate I love that you guys that's a great
activation I always say when you work out like do things different like I used
to be in a bar studio with a bunch of women well I'm never gonna meet a man
there you know and so if every activity that you do either keeps you isolated in
your home or only with your gender then you're really decreasing your chances of
meeting somebody in the wild because a lot of you're like I don't want to meet
him online I don't want to meet him online okay but then what you do every
day needs to put you outside your house and there's an extra it's not just yeah
I love it I think that's a really good example of you kind of getting out there
Regina you asked if I'm taking hyphenating look and I just had to
rename it because I keep forgetting that my Yahoo account keeps showing up
just my old name I don't have a middle name so I'm taking Brian's last name and
I'm moving my last name to become my middle name just because I'm kind of my
websites got my last name and Rizzo I mean literally 90% of the people I know
that are friends with me locally call me by my last name so to get rid of Rizzo
completely would be like getting rid of my first name so that feels weird so
it's gonna be Renee Rizzo DeVore but DeVore will be my official last name and
y'all I'm just doing the paperwork now like I'm so lazy I knew it wasn't gonna
get time to go out of the country with my passport so I'm like I've never had
to do this so I don't even know send the list of all the places I need to call
because I'm traumatized thinking about all the places I need to do to get
everything switched okay Victoria what do you got what are you getting rid of
or ending I want to show you my snuggly parka that I wear and so I'm in the
bathhouse right now and I too cold to walk with hardly any clothes on so I
wear my parka to and from the okay it's really cold you guys in Florida it's
gonna be 30 tomorrow and I got rid of everything that I could see that was my
old boyfriend his shirt this funny little hand thing that wiggles and yeah
I got rid of it a few weeks months back and there was some homeless guys that
were around the corner I'm like you know what can you do you want this and it
just blessed them and I love the trailer and put it in a storage because I didn't
have time to actually give it or throw it but definitely it's out of my space
and clean the entire trailer from front to back left to right up to bottom love
it I love it I love it Helen what you getting rid of or stopping um I got rid
of my old bed and got a new adjustable one and I figured you know if I work two
three jobs I don't see why not if I'm killing myself at work I don't see why I
shouldn't rest comfortably at night I'm no longer working three jobs though so I
got rid of one and I love it so I'm making room margin margin margin I love
it I love it okay Cheryl is let me know at some point Linda you hide your hand
raised and I missed it it might have been because I asked you to go get your
flip-flops so if you are still around Linda are you still around can you come
on camera come chat with everybody all right put your hand back up Linda if
you're there all right I didn't much I didn't mean to blow you off okay Bernice
what you got what are you getting rid
I'm getting rid of overstaying grace when I need to let go.
Yes.
Overextended grace to being a pushover.
That's good, girl.
That's good.
I love it.
Tiffany?
I had three jobs as well, and I got rid of one.
So I've been with this program for a while, like for a few years, but I usually just listen
to it as a replay because I'm not able to attend any of them.
So now I'm-
And look how much we got to hear from you tonight.
Tiffany, that's why I didn't know any of this stuff about you.
I love it.
Tammy, what do you got?
Well, I had Sozo Thursday morning last week at 10 AM, and it was absolutely fantastic.
It was the best one I've ever had.
And I got rid of a bunch of old beliefs about my identity and about others.
And I let go of a lot of things and forgave a lot of people.
And I really, really felt like I was truly letting go this time.
I've probably forgiven the same people before in a minute, but I just wasn't fully able
to really let go.
It felt like at this time, it felt like I was.
I love that.
And so I have a little bit of the unprocessing to go back and redo some things.
A few more things may come up related to that.
I get triggered a little bit sometimes, and I think, okay, what's up here, God?
Why am I believing?
It's a work in progress, girl.
It's a daily assessment, so I love it.
Okay, Paul, you wrote in the thing you got rid of 20 pounds.
That is freaking awesome.
Tell us, how long did it take you to get rid of that 20?
Was it just diet, diet and exercise?
About six months, mostly just diet.
I got some bad labs at the beginning of the year, and I thought I needed to do something.
So it really wasn't...
I had to eat differently.
That was the only hard thing about it, but it wasn't my intention to lose weight.
It was my intention to get some labs in line.
Oh, that's so good.
So you got healthy and then the...
It was a byproduct.
It was just a byproduct bonus.
I love that.
Well, I wanted to give you props for that.
Great job, Eddie.
That's awesome.
And are the numbers better?
Oh, yeah.
Everything's a lot better.
It was just...
Awesome.
I drank 60 to 80 ounces of coffee a day and maybe a bottle of water, so it looked like
I had kidney disease and I was just dehydrated.
But it was enough to scare me and make me take a better look at how much coffee I was
consuming.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Brian and I have learned...
I drink...
I was drinking way too much coffee and he drinks way too much Diet Coke.
So we're both really, really working on that.
I used to do both.
Oh, goodness.
He's like, I'm getting a hundred ounces of liquid every day.
I'm like, I don't think Diet Coke counts, but I love that.
Hunter, did you have your hand raised?
Yes, I did.
What do you got for us, buddy?
What do you let go?
What are you letting go of?
Letting go of my need to travel, because I just traveled, spent two weeks in Greece
and Malta and I went on a cruise in the Bahamas.
After that, I'm just not going to do travel for a while.
I'm going to build on my life.
And, of course, the person that was...
The girl, Christina, is interested in me.
I haven't heard back from them, but I guess I'll wait until tomorrow, hear back, make
time for that.
All right.
Well, I love it.
I love that you are making room to meet people in person and be available in your own community.
So I love that.
Gina, what do you got for us?
Honestly, this past year, I've really learned to let go of just friendships that don't actually
serve me anymore.
Not that I don't care about these people anymore, but I no longer feel obligated to retain the
closeness that we used to have, because it was for a season and the seasons passed.
Yeah.
Amen, girl.
I love that.
Okay.
Real quick, the next question, if you can only imagine, since you are getting rid of
stuff, share us either a stretch goal or a goal that you know that you're going to hit
this year, or like, I'm hitting this goal this year.
And I don't want 50 people to say, get married.
I can say that.
But I'd love to see what other things that God has for you.
Like, I know I'm graduating in May.
Y'all, can you believe it?
Y'all, some of you remember when I started seminary.
I graduate in May.
So I know that was a big goal, getting my master's was a big goal for a really long
time, and I can't believe my graduation is happening.
So Dawn, what are you doing?
What's happening this year?
Well, God willing, I do hope,
and I am working toward being able
to deadlift my body weight.
What?
Get it, girl.
I don't really know exactly what I want,
but I keep increasing my weight,
and so, I mean, for my, like the bar.
Yeah.
So maybe I will lift 100 or 120 pounds sometimes,
so that will be great.
I love it.
And now that you're saying that, I'm like thinking,
I'm very close to being able to deadlift my,
with help from a Smith machine.
I don't know if I could do it all by myself
without a Smith machine, but that's a big goal.
I love it.
Wisdeen, what's your goal?
What are you going after?
Well, I already was kind of mentioning it in the chat,
but last year I did not do these goals I wrote,
which was learn how to play pickleball and do Pilates.
I didn't do either of those.
So I finally joined a pickleball league locally,
and it's only 10 minutes away from me.
I thought it'd be really fun to learn
and just be out meeting new friends, whoever they may be.
And yeah, so I'm excited.
I love it.
And you guys, this is hopefully spurring some of you guys
to come up with some of your ideas.
Tamika.
Yes.
I'm saying this so you all can hold me accountable.
I'm looking to publish my second book this year
and launch my website.
So keep me accountable, everyone.
I love that.
David, what are you doing?
I, my goal is to downsize.
So to be like totally downsized by September
and sell the art collection.
That's the goal.
Oh, I love it.
All right.
Bernice, how about you?
I'm going to be traveling for the first time
by myself to Switzerland.
So that's the goal.
Oh, I love that.
Wow, definitely.
Nice.
Tiffany.
Well, now that I have time,
I'd actually like to attempt to go on dates.
I haven't gone on a date in like two years,
two and a half years.
I don't know.
Two years, two and a half years.
Tiffany, you live in Seattle.
Is that what it is?
You live in Seattle.
Okay.
Y'all, we got to get Tiffany on a date this year.
She got rid of one of her three jobs.
She plays the harp, right?
I mean, I'm just saying,
what was the other like a little fun fact
we learned about you?
I forget already.
Harry Potter, but I'm a little more-
Harry Potter, yeah.
Okay.
There's a harp-loving Harry Potter person out there for you.
I just didn't know.
She helped find the other Harry Potter slipper too.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
I love it.
Okay.
Girl, I'm gonna butcher your name.
Help me out.
Pronounce your name for me.
It's Yelizaveta.
Oh my gosh, that sounded so gorgeous,
but I don't think I can do it.
Like you rolled the R in everything.
That was so good.
All right, where do you live?
I'm in LA.
Really?
Okay, wow.
Cool beans.
Okay, so what are you gonna do this year?
Okay, so in 2025, God told me to finish a screenplay
and I couldn't because I got stuck.
And after doing the hard work,
I actually was able to write again
for the first time like in four years.
So, and I went on a writer's retreat over winter break
and I'm like, I actually got stuff done.
So I'm like, you know what?
It's gonna happen this year.
I love it.
Sweet.
Okay, you guys, for the next section,
guys put in there a question you want to know about girls.
Like girls, why do you guys do this?
Or what do you think of a guy did this?
Like if you want a girls,
I'm gonna pick a few girls being willing
to answer your questions.
And of course, if I pick three or four women,
that doesn't speak for all women.
It just speaks for three or four women.
Ladies, I see at least four guys on here tonight.
So if you have questions you've always wondered about men,
go ahead and put them in the chat.
And I feel like it's an appropriate question.
I will pull it and I will ask for a few people
to volunteer to raise their hand and answer the question.
So we're moving into these section where it's he said,
she said, which is, you know,
what do women think about this?
And what do men think about that?
While you are willing to put that question in the box,
if you have a question for me or a question for Brian,
also feel free to raise your hand
and ask that question directly.
Ooh, that's good.
Kim, do you have a question for moi?
Yes, and I'm very nervous.
I've been talking to a guy for about two weeks now, and he says that he will not kiss
until he's married.
Oh, you know, I had a friend who did that, man.
They sucked face big time up at the altar.
I'll tell you what, I was like, I don't think they're ever going to stop.
Did he have a reason for that?
It's temptation.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Is that the same guy that you messaged about on the page?
Yes.
Okay.
No, no.
Yes.
Yeah, I think so.
It is.
He actually asked permission to hold my hand.
Yeah.
He seems like a good quality guy.
Does he have a past addiction that he's worried about that he has an accountability team on?
Non-addiction, something that he had done.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Is he nervous about not being able to make out with him?
Yeah.
Okay.
So is he allowed to kiss you anywhere else?
Because this girl that did that, he was allowed to kiss her on her forehead, on her cheek,
on her neck, on her nose.
They just weren't able to do muah, muah, muah.
So I really liked his profile that you sent me.
Me too.
I really want you to hang in there.
Okay.
I really want you to hang in there.
He might be a really good guy.
And if you're really not sure, look a little-
Oh, I'm sure.
Yes.
No, but he seems like a good man.
He is awesome.
He has the three Ms, Brian.
And he is the exact opposite of some of the men that you've dated.
Exactly.
And I feel like the Lord is really going to challenge you in this in a good way, in a
good way.
Y'all, I mean, I'll tell you what, what a noble thing.
And you'll learn.
Here's the good part about it, Kim, you guys, if you're not making out, it means you're
really going to get to know him for him.
And if he's going to be your guy, he's going to be your guy, not because he's a hot kisser.
And so sometimes as women, our picker gets a little broken when we start making out with
a guy.
And that can be true for the men too.
So I would say honor that.
Yeah, man.
Okay.
Wait, I want to answer this question.
Okay.
No, keep going.
Who wrote it?
David.
Brian wants to answer your question.
Listen.
Where do you meet single Christian women in the wild?
You've not heard?
Go to Target.
They're already there looking for stuff they don't need.
So go to Target.
No, I mean, if you, if you want to.
He's not wrong about that.
Go to Target.
We don't have targets though.
They outnumber the men like 50 to one.
It's crazy.
We're out here in Canada.
We don't have Target.
Okay.
Do you have like a home good, a home, a home good?
Like you know how they have the TJ Maxx attached to the home goods?
Do you guys have that option?
Women are there.
Yeah, similar.
Similar.
Yeah.
You need to go there.
You need to go to a shoe store and you can say you're looking for shoes for your niece
or something because why else, because we don't want you to come off gay.
So, you know, but you can say that you, oh my gosh, okay.
Opposite sex friendships, dated a guy with a ton of girlfriends.
Is that a flag?
That's a good question.
You know, I think you have to be careful with opposite sex friendships.
Like it depends on ages too, like I don't know how old you are.
I don't love it when a guy has no guy friends and he has a ton of girlfriends or when a
girl has no girlfriends and a ton of guy friends.
I don't love it.
And as long as those friends are like meeting in a group setting, I can kind of get okay
with it.
But like once you start dating, those one-on-one relationships really need to be backburnered.
You know, but I grew up in the era of when Harry met Sally, when Billy Crystal says that
men and women can't be friends.
You know, he's like, they're either thinking about having sex or not thinking about having
sex, which means they're thinking about having sex.
And so I think it's rare that you can have friends of the opposite sex.
So it's not a red flag.
It's just pay attention to that.
I would say pay attention to that.
I would be more concerned about what their other friendships look like and why they don't
have, I would be more concerned why they don't have friends of their own gender.
Because that says actually more to me than them having friends of the opposite sex.
Girl, I'm not gonna say your name again.
Do you have a nickname you can give me?
Cause I'm gonna mess it up.
Yela, oh my gosh, can you try?
No.
No, see, you might.
I gotta hear it one more time.
Yelizaveta.
Okay, do you have a name?
Yelizaveta.
Okay, what was your?
It sounds, it's just like it's spelled.
I know, but I can't get it out.
It sounds just like it's spelled.
Yelizaveta, I just, I can't get it out.
It's so beautiful though, so please, it's not you.
It's a beautiful name.
All right, what's your question?
Okay, so I actually met someone at church
and this is the first time in my life
where I ever like lit up 100%
and felt like I don't have to hide who I am
and I don't have to hide like the attraction.
And we found out that we're like identical personality types
and that we even like relate to each other the same.
It's really, it's crazy chemistry.
Like I've never experienced before,
like soul level chemistry.
But it's moving really, really slow.
It's been like 16 weeks and he hasn't asked me out.
But at the same time.
So how do you guys talk to each other?
Only at church?
Yeah, but the thing is he's like very intentional
and every time, like there were seven weeks.
Does he call you?
No.
Okay, girl, you gotta drop this damn hanky then.
All right, you gotta be like,
hey, so do you even know if he's interested in you
more than just being friends at church?
Yeah.
So, okay, so 16 weeks seems like a long time,
but there were seven weeks where we didn't see each other
and at that point we didn't have each other's contact info.
But here's the thing.
He, like two weeks ago, I think he finally realized
that it was romantic attraction
because our personality type, like the male version,
they don't realize it's chemistry.
They think it's like ministry or whatever at first.
So, but now like every time I see him,
it's like a huge leap for me.
I'm like, oh my gosh, like what just happened?
Because I don't see his internal processing on his end.
So like.
Okay, so here's what you need to do
because we wanna get out of fantasy land.
And so we have to find out what he's going to do with this.
So you're gonna have your phone number
either on a business card or handwritten
and you're just gonna say,
hey, I have loved getting to talk to you.
I have no idea what you really think about me
or where you could see this going,
but I'd love to meet offline and get to know you,
have coffee with you, have a drink, go get lunch.
If it goes nowhere, no big deal.
If that's not at all what you were thinking of
and you just think we're just pals, that's okay too.
But I just wanted you to know,
right now I'm in a season where I'm dating with intention
and I don't wanna leave anything dangling.
And so if you weren't sure,
I just thought I would put it out there.
Again, no harm, no foul if you're not at all interested.
How many women and men think she needs to just lay it down,
drop that dang hanky, find out, right?
Raise your hand if you agree with me.
She just needs to pull, yeah, everyone's agreeing.
Okay, girl, so you're gonna report back to us.
I feel like God told me to wait at the well though.
So that's the thing.
What does that mean, wait at the well?
That's not what we, okay.
So you mean waiting for him to reach out to you
and make the first move?
Not, okay, so we're beyond the,
we're attracted to each other phase.
Like I'm not living in fantasy land.
I know it sounds like I am, but I'm really not.
I know, but you want it to go to the next level.
You need to start having conversations
outside of running into him at church.
But see, we're not just running into each other.
He's been approaching intentionally.
I know, but do you see him anywhere else outside of church?
Okay, so you see him once a week?
And you talk either at the beginning of service
or at the end of service?
It's been both the past few weeks.
All right, well, I'm just giving you,
you raised your hand, you asked my advice.
I'm telling you, I think that you can wait at the well
and still give your name and number
because what you're doing is you're putting the ball
back in his court.
But you're just saying like,
hey, I've enjoyed getting to talk to you.
I'm in a season in my life where I'm kind of dating
with intention and purpose.
I would love to get to know you offsite, not at church.
If that's something you're interested in, great.
If that's not something you're interested in too,
I'll keep hanging out talking to you
because 17 weeks is four months.
It's four months.
And I know there was a season
where you weren't running into each other.
But that's just my encouragement.
You lay it down before the Lord.
If the Lord continues to tell you to do nothing,
then I'm not gonna tell you to do something
the Lord's not telling you to do.
Okay, I'm gonna flip over and go back to these questions
because I...
offered that other people would answer.
So David asked where to meet women.
We joked and said Target or HomeGoods,
but ladies, so I'm gonna take down some hands for a second.
Raise your hand only if you have suggestions for Dave,
where, so this is for the ladies.
So you're gonna only answer,
Adrienne, do you have an answer for,
okay, so ladies, raise your hand
if you're willing to give some suggestions to David
where to meet women.
Where do you hang out?
Crystal Parrot, where do you hang out?
Where can he meet you or meet women like you?
Hang out, but I mean, like I belong to a Christian,
I own my own business,
so I belong to a Christian like business group,
but like my group is 98% men and then me.
So he could find the opposite
where there's 98% women and him.
Every week I tell the guys, I say,
hey, if anybody knows anybody
or anybody has a buddy or a brother, so.
And networking, you guys,
cause we have that week,
we have Christian Chambers of Commerce is here
and we have connect groups, like business networking groups.
That's a great idea,
like different kinds of networking groups
and that's a great idea.
Tiffany, what's another idea?
Taking ballroom dance lessons,
because you can show up by yourself
and then as you're practicing, they have you.
They do those parties.
Um, well, they're like group lessons.
And yes, they do group lessons as well,
but in a group lesson, you will dance with one person
and then you move down the line
and then you dance with the next person.
I love that.
It's such a good way of just talking with someone
and finding out who they are
without making it like money.
I don't know, just find out.
It's a really easy way of learning information about people
or just meeting them.
Oh my gosh, okay.
I love it.
That's a great idea.
Anybody else got a good idea?
I think those are some good ideas.
Another thing is, is nurses, hospitals.
Well, except nurses are working and Brian's a nurse.
So I think it's a misnomer.
Hospitals, I see women outnumber the men 10 to one.
Very true.
But...
Well, and I will say this though,
because she talked about,
we were talking about same sex relationships
or opposite sex relationships.
And that was something that she and I had to work with
because A, I was a nurse or am a nurse
and B, I'm in nursing education.
So I have a bunch of nursing students who are women.
I work in a hospital with a bunch of women
and there aren't very many men that are there.
So it was a little difficult.
I was like, okay, here's my friend, Eric.
Yeah, he doesn't have a lot of female.
So you're right.
I mean, I didn't have a lot of thing,
but again, as to those others, I worked three jobs too.
So I didn't have time to do any of the other things anyway.
Yeah.
And he makes sure that when he goes on the business trips
with the schools that,
if it's a group of eight women
and they're having dinner after a class thing, he'll go.
But if it's just one or two,
he just goes out back to his room.
Bernice, do you have ideas?
Yeah, group meetups.
Yep, I agree.
Those group meetups.
I always say volunteer groups and group meetups.
Those are great places to meet people.
Okay, I wanna get to somebody's question.
Crystal and other women, men, you can speak to this
because a lot of times you're stuck for opening lines online.
It says, do all men send crazy opening lines
even if they've done the hard work?
Hey, beautiful.
Hey, I see you're my new best friend, my Disney princess.
You're so beautiful, let's get married.
Okay, a lot of those are extreme,
but I think that sometimes guys have run out of things
to say as opening lines.
Brian, what was your opening line to me?
So my opening line to Renee was, nice pick.
That's it, y'all.
I mean, it was eloquent.
And so I was so ticked.
A man of many words.
A man of, and he said it was because for so long
he was writing really engaging opening messages
and so many women weren't responding
that he was like, well, screw it.
I'm just gonna say something short and simple
and if she responds,
then I'll come in with the eloquent, long response.
So I was like, nice smile.
Like, that's it.
And I never just answer that flippantly.
So I would say,
give anybody a chance past the first message.
It's really hard, you guys, to get out there.
Anybody else wanna speak to that?
Any of the men?
Can you feel Brian's pain here
that it's hard to come up with that opening line sometimes?
Abram's like, yeah, man.
Yeah, it is hard.
you put a lot of effort into the line
and you write your own line and then it says,
oh, you just got that from chat GBT and it's like, no,
I actually wrote a line and I put effort into it.
And they're like, oh, you just Googled that.
And it's like, no.
And so I think it's always like get to the Zoom date
because like a guy is trying really, really hard
and most men don't have the same reading
and writing skills that women do.
So just get to the Zoom date.
Yeah, that's my thing.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh, you guys, by the way,
I love these other ideas.
Marshall's, Michael's, Costco, totally at Costco, man.
She's always there.
I love those ideas.
Those are so good.
Let's see.
It will keep you really clear-minded Canadian.
I'm looking through.
I'm trying to catch up y'all.
Okay.
All right, any more questions for me and Brian
while I'm scanning through to make sure.
Okay, Erin has a question for guys.
Have you ever had a girl in the friend zone
and then she moved over to maybe a girl to date?
What made that shift happen?
Ooh, good question, Erin.
Men.
So Abram, David, Paul, Brandon.
Ooh, Brandon, I haven't heard you speak up today.
You need to speak up.
Have you ever seen you or one of your male friends
move a girl from the friend zone out of the friend zone?
Let us hear from you.
Have you ever seen that?
Brian's going with no.
Abram's shaking his head, no.
Brandon?
It's a no.
So once a guy has friend zoned you, is that it?
I think it's almost the same both ways though.
I've not seen it the other way either.
Ladies, we have given no,
because Jackie teaches us it's a yes until it's a no.
And there are a number of women who have married men
in this program who would say that
in their first meeting with the men,
they were like, he wasn't my typical type, right?
It's a kind way of saying, eh,
I'm not sure I was feeling it, right?
But, and I'm not gonna name names
because I wouldn't want you to keep,
I wouldn't want to keep saying that about you.
Like, oh, well, Brian wasn't somebody
I would have been normally attracted to.
Like, I don't know.
But that's true.
I mean, I was attracted to him right away.
But let's see.
Let's see.
Oh, Perla, you have a question about an 18 year age gap.
How am I missing that?
Thank you for checking in on me.
Okay.
So we're saying most of the time, Aaron,
and I think all the guys nodded.
Paul, what did you think?
I didn't see what your reaction was.
I've not seen anybody, but I'm sure it happens a lot.
Okay.
I don't know of anybody that's ever done it.
Yeah.
Anything's possible, right?
I mean, I would say-
I don't think it's a long shot kind of thing.
It's not a long shot.
I would say, you know how Jackie says
that you shouldn't re-date an ex
unless something significant has changed?
I would say the same is probably true
to get somebody out of the friend zone.
And I'm not trying to be a jerk about it,
but men are visual.
So like, say you lost a hundred pounds
or you went from being a long, dark haired brunette
to a short pixie blonde and he likes blondes.
Or you suddenly, like, you know, Sandra Bullock
and you suddenly got a makeover and it's like, va-voom.
Like you just kind of showed up.
And so I would suspect, or you really got your mojo.
Like, you know how I just,
I made Brian watch on our honeymoon,
The Holiday with Kate Winslet.
And you know how like Kate Winslet character
was like, the guy always said,
you're acting like the best friend,
but you need to behave like the leading lady.
So she kind of got some chutzpah.
And so that kind of really like made her more attractive.
So I would say something dramatic has to really shift
either in your internal or your visual
for a guy's perception to change.
That might be what it would have to take.
That would be, that would be my suggestion.
Ask a friend to ask him, sounds shy.
Is that was it?
Okay.
I'm trying to keep up with all your questions.
Okay, Perla, what was your question
about an 18 year age gap?
I will say this, Jackie always says,
it's not so much the age, it's season of life.
Like I, we just had two of our dearest friends break up.
Really, you guys, it was because they have
a 13 year age gap, but she's mid forties
and he's late, late, late fifties, about to be 60.
And his two adult kids are grown
and she has four littles from the age of like five to 13.
And choosing to re-enter becoming a parent
to young kids and teenagers is a big decision to make.
And you're either.
ready and willing to do that or you're not.
And so I would say, that Jackie would say,
it's always about season of life.
Are you in the same season of life?
Otherwise, it's gonna be really, really hard to do that.
Yeah, I'm skeptical, just, yeah,
you're saying you're skeptical with men with friends.
Yeah, it's just, it's, hmm,
where physical progression begins, depth progression ends.
Ooh, that was good.
Look at you, Brandon.
You're not speaking up,
but you're saying some good stuff over here.
I love that.
Y'all, like, I'm trying to keep up with everybody.
There's like a million, here's what I love.
Y'all are like conversing so much that,
question, what does a guy say when he's interested
versus when he wants to be friends?
Ooh, good.
All right, men, you can't just nod your head.
You're gonna have to speak up.
What does a guy say when he's interested in you
versus he just wants to be friend?
How do you behave differently letting her know that?
He might consider just saying those words.
He might, you think?
It works.
Okay, well, hey, I'm all for honesty.
Yeah.
I think clear communication is key.
Yeah.
My phone died for the friend zone one,
but I have actually seen that happen probably 100 times
with a girl and it always is the same thing
is that because guys really love a woman
who's self-confident and has clear communication.
So if the guy says, hey, I just wanna be friends
and the girl says, hey, that's cool,
but I'm looking for a partner.
And so if you wanna date me, then like, hey, like,
and they're really clear about how they communicate
and say like, hey, like, if we're gonna be hanging out,
it's gonna be because we're in a dating context
and not in a friend context.
And when they draw that line,
almost always the guy says, you're right, you're right.
Yeah, because they love a woman who's self-confident.
And so that, I've seen that happen probably 100 times,
even for me, if I say to a girl,
hey, I just wanna be friends and she says,
no, we're not friends, we're in a dating context
and either we're gonna continue that or not.
And see, and here's what you're saying though,
because it's, remember I said she gets the chutzpah.
So I said something either has to change externally
or internally for him to see her in a different light.
So it's her kind of coming in with that feminine energy
to be like, boom.
And here's the thing, you guys,
I think, and this has been true for me,
if you, and this is true for men and women,
if you like somebody more than they like you
and you keep being friends with them
and you give them all the benefits of dating you
without actually dating you,
you do run the risk of being hurt though,
because their needs are getting met,
but your needs aren't getting met.
So once you've kind of declared,
hey, I'd like to see you,
I'd like to kind of not just be buddies.
And if they say, no, I still just see you as a friend
and you keep being friends with them,
I don't know about you,
but like if I was interested in a guy
and he didn't wanna be friends,
he didn't wanna date me,
I needed to stop seeing him so much.
Like that's the only way I'm gonna get over him
because I'm gonna always be holding kind of a candle to him.
Like I just literally, I've had to leave jobs.
Like I've had to like change social circles.
Like if I really liked a guy
and like I was seeing them too much
and especially if their needs were getting met
in the relationship.
And so you have to pay attention to that.
Okay, so Megan was asking,
what does a guy say when he's interested?
I will say this Megan,
and I think that's true when I was watching Brian do it.
A guy who is pursuing you
doesn't give you any doubts about it.
You aren't sitting there questioning your text message
you're not questioning whether,
did he put his hand on my back?
Cause he was being kind.
Did he grab my hand?
Like, oh my gosh, you guys,
I can't tell you how many times
I used to play stories in my head.
Like I was in theater like,
oh my gosh, he stood next to me during,
cause in theater you do that opening.
Like I forget what it's called when you're in a circle.
He stood next to me, he grabbed my hand.
Like if a guy is interested,
he's usually making it clear.
Especially if he's a marriage minded,
masculine, mature man.
We don't want to date men
who are on the fence and giving mixed signals.
We want to date men who are sure.
So I think he's sure.
Now, if you smile and flirt,
you know, like I, if I liked a guy on a date,
I would find an excuse to touch them.
Like a little bit here, like, oh my gosh,
thank you so much.
I would, you know, I'd find a way
I would look at them longer.
I would lean into the conversation a little bit more.
If I could tell halfway through the day,
I'm not into him.
I start backing up.
I make sure I don't touch him.
I'm sitting a little further back.
Like I create space.
Like, Abram, you got your hand up.
What do you want to share?
Oh, dang it, I can't hear you.
Take the earbuds out.
This is what happened to me when I wear my earbuds.
For some reason, they don't always work on Zoom.
I don't know what's going on.
I think it's the enemy trying to not let you speak, because I just think you've got some
good stuff to say.
Sammy, what do you got for us?
I'm going to wait for...
I'm going to find a way for Abram to say what he has to say.
Oh, I was just going to say regarding the being friends first, and then, you know, getting
out of the friend zone.
I knew a girl in college who was friends with...
Well, she was dating some other guy.
She asked us, our little female all-girl musical group at the BSU, asked us to pray about breaking
up with this guy she was dating.
Well, the next thing we knew, she had broken up with him.
And then there was this guy she already knew as friends for a long time named Kevin, and
they realized they were in love with each other, and they got married.
It happens.
I mean, it happens, you guys.
I'm here, I met Sally.
For goodness sake, what was that, 15 years?
You guys, I'm so dating myself with that damn movie.
But I mean, so you could wait 20 years.
I don't know about y'all, but I'm not waiting 20 years.
I didn't wait 20 years.
Okay.
Debra has a good question.
Abram, if you can figure out a way to start talking in us here, you just...
Can you hear me?
Yes, I can hear you.
Can you hear me?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Okay.
I think it's pretty clear if a man is complimenting you, that's pretty...
As long as he's not getting dirty or nothing, nothing disrespectful, I think compliments
are very simple.
When he sees you, if he has any kind of charm, he will compliment you.
Maybe not on you physically, but he will compliment your earrings.
He will compliment your dress.
He will maybe even go a little, nice shoes, I don't know.
But I think compliments are a number one sign.
You don't compliment chicks that are your friends.
Really.
Good.
I mean, unless you've known for a long time.
Yeah.
Look, I'll compliment my friend's wife when we have a nice dinner.
Hey, Jessica, you look lovely tonight.
But it's just a way to make people feel good.
It's just a genuine...
You want to make someone feel good.
I think compliments are obviously a number one.
You don't compliment your homies, these guys.
We don't really like, hey, Todd, you're looking really good today, Todd.
No.
Maybe once in a while, we'll all get dressed up.
Because girls will do that for each other.
Girls, you guys are always hyping each other up, dudes.
We're calling each other names and we're kind of mean to each other.
That's kind of more normal.
That's so good.
I think compliments for sure.
I love that.
That's so good.
Deborah asked, when guys comment like on Facebook, are they signaling interest?
Do men drop pinkies too?
Guys, do you want to answer that question?
If you see a girl on Facebook and you're starting to like it or comment, is that you're dropping
the hanky a little bit?
Abram, oh, maybe.
You're saying maybe.
A little bit?
It can be.
It's easier to tell in person.
If a guy likes you and he's dropping the hanky, he's going to be making eye contact.
He's going to be...
His body language is going to be clear that he wants to talk to you.
He's going to be making little glances.
He's going to come over and talk to you.
That's really how guys do it.
So how can a girl get past that stage?
So some guys start showing...
But you guys, it is weird.
I have ex-boyfriends.
I don't even know if I want to call them.
I have ex-level two dating people on Facebook that I've somehow saved friends with.
They have liked so many of my posts.
They even liked my post with Brian.
So sometimes people, we just don't know.
I think you have to get more information.
So guys, what can a woman do to figure out if he's just liking it because he's curious
or interested to more?
Does she start liking and commenting on his posts?
What do we need to do to find out if it's something?
I feel like girls have rules for social media liking, but guys don't really know them or
follow the same ones.
It's a bit more random.
Yeah.
It's kind of like, I'll just like a post because I'm like, oh, that's a cool picture in the
background.
And someone's like, oh, you liked their post.
And I was like, oh, I didn't think about it.
So I don't think most men don't really think about it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think if you're commenting on the post a lot, on all their posts, I mean, other than
just a like, you know, showing some interest there possibly.
Okay.
So basically we have to be looking for more than just the likes.
We have to be looking for the comments.
Oh yeah.
The guy would definitely comment.
Okay.
Abram, what you got?
I would say that like there's been women online that I've.
like a friend request.
And then they'll find out that, you know,
it's kind of really not what I'm looking for,
but I will still remain friends with them.
And kind of liking their post for me is like a,
you know, just keeping the positivity going.
So it's not, I'm not doing the hovering thing
because that's, to me, that's weird.
You know, like you ask the chick out,
you give her a message, you know,
and make sure if she likes you back or she's interested,
because women will let you know most of the time.
If they don't respond, that's also a response.
So I think that there's a lot of people on social media
that we've kind of become, not like friends,
but almost kind of like, you know,
liking each other's posts, just like in a genuine way.
I don't, it's way past the, I'm hitting on you
and I'm friend zone now kind of deal.
I think it's just, because you never know
who's going to be in one of her accounts
or who could see you liking her stuff.
So it's just like a keep positivity going.
I don't think it's that weird.
Yeah, I don't know.
That's good, that's good.
Perla, I finally see the response to your thing.
You said, I don't know what yet his season is.
I'm 40 and he's late 50s.
I would say this right off the bat.
If you know you want kids or you have kids
or he doesn't want kids or he doesn't want kids,
and that's like if children are part of your story,
you'll find out soon enough when you start dating.
So sometimes it's a yes until it's a no.
That's why you just don't know
some of that stuff right away.
But like, here's a good example of that.
So my friend that we were talking about,
she has four kids.
This was the phrase he said.
I would be willing to pray to see
if I would be open to having kids again.
I don't know about y'all,
but that wouldn't be a good enough for me.
I would need to know that I,
because I know I've heard David Wright say this.
I've heard him say, I would be more than willing
if God's plan is for me to meet somebody
who's already got kids,
I think I'm ready to be a step-parent.
That's somebody who has already decided
that if his spirit mate already has kids,
he's willing to be on board with that.
So to me, when I talk about season of life,
it's like the things that you know that you're sure of,
you wanna start to hear when you have
those first few dates with them,
that those are things that they're open to.
And not like, well, I'll pray about it
to see if I might be open to that, or I might like,
you just, you wanna pay attention to that
because you could be setting yourself up,
but none of this you're gonna know in the first date or two.
That's why you have to just get to know him.
Yeah, I mean, and so age gaps can,
age gaps can be a lot of reasons.
It could be he's retired
and he doesn't want her working full-time
because he wants to travel and she wants to work full-time.
So it's not just children.
It could be anything, which you just don't know
until you start to get to know them
and keep talking to them.
Okay, I'm glad that you guys are answering each other
in the chat too.
Like if women are asking questions,
men, if I'm not getting to you or the answer,
please go and answer them directly in the chat.
Like, I feel like this is really,
really a good way to do that.
Okay, I wanna switch over.
I feel like this was fun.
Do you guys feel like this was helpful?
Kind of like asking good questions.
Okay.
You can say that again.
For the net, what do you got Hunter?
Say it really quick.
Oh, it's about this Christina girl
who said is interested in me.
I was looking today for the email
and I found it, it said,
introduction to each other, both are emails.
I emailed her a nice intro to you and to her,
but I don't know if it's gonna work out.
But I think if she's interested,
but now if I don't hear back,
I think you're interest down.
My problem is they first, they say they're interested,
but then they back out.
I don't know what's the problem.
Well, I think here's what happens sometimes.
I think that on both sides,
men and women appear to be interested
because they don't know how to say no, thank you.
And so they say something polite
and it gives us the perception that they're in.
But then when you have to,
then when you kind of call them on that
and you want them to make good on that,
then they kind of back off.
And so Jackie always says match their energy.
So Hunter, I don't think it just happens to you.
I think we've all experienced that
where we feel like somebody seemed to show interest.
Many of us have been ghosted.
I mean, I dated a guy for four weeks
that just completely disappeared.
And so I don't understand why it happens sometimes.
I think sometimes people think it's a maybe.
They think, eh, maybe, maybe, and then it's a no.
And sometimes the no is just
because they've thought about it.
Sometimes it's a no because they found somebody else
that they're more interested in pursuing.
So I feel you, Hunter.
Your girl will be consistent.
Her yes will be a yes more than one time.
Okay.
I wrote about my.
I have my high and I want kids naturally.
Hey, Hunter, I'm going to ask you to save that for the guys
talk on Monday night, because that's really not the direction
I need to go in right now.
That's cool.
No, no, I appreciate it, though.
Because I have a feeling David and the guys
might be able to help you out a little bit more specific
so that you get all the airtime that you need on it.
OK, so we're going to go to some more,
like there is more serious questions.
So it's more serious, but you're going to get really short.
You're going to give me short answers.
And I'm going to highlight like four of you.
So if you are camera ready and you have not
been highlighted by me in the last like seven months,
and I haven't asked you like these series of seven
questions, you guys have seen these questions before.
But they're fun questions.
I want you to raise your hand so that we can highlight you.
And I'm going to interview like four people.
And I'm only picking people that I can see you
and that you're nice and camera ready.
Oh, and while you guys are doing that,
Melissa Dawn has a good question for us.
What surprised each of you most about marriage?
Ooh, given it's your first marriage that you didn't even
know to expect.
What has surprised me?
The fact that he's not going anywhere.
He's there all the time.
I think what really surprised her was the fact that, oh my
gosh, he's still here.
Every day.
You know what?
Day and night.
But here's what has surprised me, in a good way,
that like literally on my honeymoon,
I'm hacking up a lung, like seriously.
Like I was trying to look hot and sexy in my lingerie
and fuzzy socks while I was hacking up a lung.
And the fact that he still finds me
beautiful in what I think is my ugliest moment,
like I always knew that.
And that is the power of marrying your best friend.
Because while he thinks I'm beautiful
and I think he's good looking, we have both been sick
and we have seen each other like look pretty darn ugly.
And so I think I am surprised and grateful
that our desire to be together is not
contingent on how we physically look,
or even our mental attitude on a given day.
And how should we date knowing what you all know?
I would say this, I think that the thing I learned
is I wasted too much time trying to decipher
what people thought.
I mean, I spent too many times dating people
that bread crumbed me.
And I was trying to figure out what,
I gave him a lot of allowances.
Well, he works for NASA.
Well, he's got children.
I made a lot of excuses that I shouldn't have made.
And what I learned with Brian is,
it's back to that phrase that Jackie said flippantly,
and it's so true.
If a man likes you, he will cut off his arm
and use it as an oar to swim upstream to you.
It was such a graphic image, but I truly
believe that it is an example of that.
Brian had three jobs, lived three and a half hours away
from me, and made time to see me every single week
in those first two months until he moved here.
And so I would say, be intentional.
Be super intentional.
That's why I wouldn't hang out with a guy waiting
six months at church.
I'd be like, I would want to know, is he into me
or is he not into me?
And he might be into me, but does he actually
want to date me?
Does he want to pursue a marriage relationship?
Those are OK things to ask.
And I used to be embarrassed by some men that would be like,
well, why are you asking me that on the first date?
Well, because you've been divorced twice
or you were married for 30 years and you just
told me you never want to get married again.
That's OK, but that's not where I am.
So I would say, and Jackie always says,
it doesn't have to be easy.
It just has to be worth it.
I took that to the extreme in my relationship before Brian.
I let someone behave almost very abusively to me
because I kept thinking, well, it doesn't have to be easy.
It can be hard.
It just has to be worth it.
That doesn't mean let somebody treat you like crap.
So I'll tag onto that because I firmly
believe that we talk about, oh, it's been easy, whatever.
But you're right.
It doesn't have to be easy, but it has to be peaceful.
And that was what was so different
about our relationship is that regardless
of how hard it rained, how much water was coming up
on the interstate, how far apart we were, it was still peaceful.
There was never a doubt.
I never had a doubt.
She never had a doubt.
And to me, that was the best way to put it.
It was probably the most peaceful relationship
that I've ever had.
Now, that's not saying that we didn't have conversation,
we didn't have ups and downs.
It was just peaceful.
We were able to sit down.
One of the things that we talked about early was like,
I'm like, hey, Renee,
I just wanna get one thing straight.
I just want you to know when I'm in a relationship,
I just want you to know this.
When there is confrontation, it's not me against you.
It's not you trying to win, me trying to win,
it's us against the problem.
And that is, I think that just steered the bus
in an entirely different direction.
Yeah, that's good.
Another question I missed, that's a really good one.
Candy, I've been texting a guy for five days.
I told him I wanna talk on the phone.
He said, not yet, let's go slowly.
What do you think?
I just had this rule, I don't even talk on the phone.
I need to make sure he is who he says he is.
I need to make sure that that photo is real
and or it's not 25 years old.
So usually after five or six days, I would say,
hey, those are really great questions.
I just feel like communication is not just words,
but tone and inflection and body language.
And especially when I'm talking to a complete stranger,
the best way to make sure we're communicating correctly
is to have a video chat.
And so I'm looking to date in real life.
When you're ready to do that, hit me up and let's do it.
And I would just stop texting.
There were probably hundreds of guys
that stopped talking to me right at that point
because I wouldn't do that.
Again, that's just me.
I'm not gonna wait and keep texting and keep texting
because I said it to him.
I basically kept saying the same thing.
That's a really great question.
It's too clunky to do by text.
I'd be happy to answer that question on a video chat.
And I just kept saying that.
I would be happy.
And if he kept saying,
so I would just stop answering the questions.
And so he's either going to want to see me
or he's going to move on
and you need to be kind of okay with that.
So it's not even just that, is he real or not?
Is he really interested in moving past this texting stage?
Again, we don't want to just have a digital relationship
with somebody.
So having a video chat with them
is not rushing the relationship.
It's just making it four dimensional.
Like it's just that.
Okay, I digressed.
All right, I've got Tiffany, I got Bernice.
Okay, let's see if I can remember how to do this.
Where'd you go, Bernice?
I want to get you.
All right, men, I've got, come on.
I've got some men on the group.
Abram, Paul, any of you guys willing to be spotlighted?
I want you to raise your hand for me.
Tell me, come off the mic.
Wait, where's it going?
Why am I not able to do it now?
What did I just do?
Yeah, sure, I'm in.
Who just said, oh, Abram, awesome.
Okay.
Add spotlight.
Okay, all right, I'm going to pick one more.
Okay, here we go.
All right, you four, I'm going with you four
because you guys had your hands up.
And Kim, I think I did you, I did somewhere.
I know I did you, I'm pretty sure.
And if I didn't get you the last time,
Kim, I'll get you next time.
Okay, so Tiffany, Bernice, Abram, Crystal,
that's the order we're going to go in.
Quick answers because it's already 8.27,
but I love doing this part.
So just give us your answers
and we're going to go for another 10 more minutes
and maybe 15 more minutes.
Okay, first question.
Do you have a nickname and is there a story behind it?
Tiffany, you're up first.
I don't really have a nickname.
Well, I guess it's my nerdy side.
A Telaga one, so I'm a fan of Lord of the Rings
and Telaga means Harper, so Harpist.
And we just add one on like Arwen and Eowyn, so.
I love it, see girl, I knew you had an answer.
I knew you had an answer, Bernice.
Yes, I do have a nickname, it's Nisi.
And the reason why I chose Nisi
is because I didn't like Bernice because it's so old fashioned.
But I do like Bernice because it means bringer of victory
and Nisi means beautiful, so that's it.
I love it, I love it, that's awesome, Abram.
So my name is Abram, but growing up,
my younger brother had a Italian accent
so he couldn't say his R's.
So he couldn't say Abram, he said Abum.
And then my fam took off the A
and I've been bum for like 30 years.
All the homies, all my friends, they call me bum.
My niece and nephew called me uncle bum.
And so yeah, bum.
Sweet.
I love it.
That's so adorable.
Crystal.
Well, my brother, the same thing actually,
as Abraham, my brother couldn't pronounce my name Crystal
and he called me Deedle.
I don't even know how that comes from Crystal,
but that's what they called me.
But since my dad's gone,
actually it's kind of gone away.
He was the one that called me at most afterwards.
I love it.
It's so funny how we all have that,
like can't pronounce because I was always Nene
because little kids can't get Renee out.
So I was always, and then when they grew up,
now I'm just Aunt Nene.
Now they're adults and they're having their own kids.
I'm still Aunt Nene.
So I love learning the nicknames.
Okay.
These are like fun, silly questions
about your habits around the house.
Do you make your bed every day
and do you leave dishes in the sink?
Tiffany.
I do not make my bed every day.
I kind of put the blankets kind of over.
So I kind of half done,
but I'm very good at putting the dishes away.
Awesome.
Bernice.
I'm the opposite of that.
I make my bed every day,
but if there's a few dishes, I'll leave them in the sink.
I love it.
Jerome.
I don't have a bunch of fancy like pillows,
but yeah, I will like, you know,
cover everything up, a couple of pillows
and yeah, kind of like, you know,
pull a few things to kind of straighten it out.
The dishes, I will leave a couple of dishes
in the sink that are like pre-washed
and then I'll eventually put them in the dishwasher.
So, you know, not too big of a mess.
I love it.
Crystal.
Ridiculous to both answers of yes,
that made everything clean.
Why does that not surprise me, girl?
I could tell you were on the ball.
Brian, he's like the guy that makes his bed
40 seconds after he wakes up.
So I just make sure I always wake up before him.
I come back from the bathroom
and the bed's miraculously made every single morning.
Okay.
Squeeze the toupees from the middle or the bottom?
Tiffany.
Bottom.
Okay.
So you bottom and roll.
What's the question?
Do you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle
so it gets all properly?
Or do you neatly roll from the bottom?
Bernice.
Bottom.
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
Abram.
You get the toothpaste and you get your toothbrush
and you know, and you, you know,
and you got to get it all the way to the top.
You are like him.
Oh my gosh.
That's hilarious.
Crystal.
Neither because I use healthy toothpaste
so it doesn't work like that.
Oh, you use the crunchy stuff.
Okay.
And then I cut it open
and I dip my toothbrush in to get the rest out
so I don't waste any money.
I love it.
Awesome.
Okay.
If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
Tiffany.
Healing.
Healing?
Oh yeah.
Oh, I love that.
You guys are altruistic.
I was like, I like to fly.
Bernice.
Oh, that's awesome too.
Between the two of you, I just, I just remember.
That's good, man.
I like it.
Bernice, how about you?
I don't know if it's a superpower,
but I love Tinkerbell.
I love it.
Well, she just spread magic everywhere.
I love that.
Abram.
Favorite like hero comic person is the Hulk.
So if I could experience the Hulk experience,
that'd be pretty cool.
That is hilarious.
Crystal.
I don't really know if it's a superpower,
but like eyes in the back of my head.
Yeah, man, that would be, that'd be good.
So I could, I don't know.
I like it just so that I can see to help more people.
I love it.
Okay.
You're going on vacation.
Beach, mountains, snow, or tourist city?
Tiffany.
Roller coasters.
Theme park, theme park.
So you're a theme park girl.
Okay.
Disney World, Universal Studios,
going there this April.
Love it.
Bernice.
Tourist city, because I love to get immersed in the culture.
Love it.
Abram.
I would ask my lady what she'd want to do first,
but I think I'm a mountains guy,
if it was just up to me.
I love the mountains.
Okay, Abram is 40.
And Abram, where do you live?
Fresno, California.
So I'm like in the middle of California.
Okay.
Are you open to dating right now?
Yes.
Okay.
Y'all, somebody needs to drop some hankies to Abram.
Scoop me up.
Please.
Scoop him up.
Please.
Seems like a good guy.
Because you and I have talked during men's nights too, right?
Like, you've been on some of those calls.
We all need to find some guy.
Because Fresno, just so y'all don't know,
northern California, right?
It's kind of central, I would say.
Really?
Kind of in the middle.
Yeah, it's below Sac.
It's like right in between the big cities.
It's in the middle, like farm, like more farmland.
OK, good to know.
All right, Crystal, where are you going on vacation?
Beach with multiple excursions.
Love it.
I love it.
OK, question number six.
You are going to a potluck.
What is your go-to item to bring to the potluck?
Tiffany?
Fruit salad.
Nice.
With yogurt.
OK, to dip?
No, I just mix it all in with the berries and the strawberries
and blueberries and things like that.
Nice, I love that.
OK, Bernice?
I was going to say fruit salad, but I also like to bring wings.
Wings?
Uh-huh.
OK, how are you cooking those wings, girlfriend?
You can buy me.
I buy them.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that was great.
You say that you cooked them, right?
But you say you cooked them, right?
Oh, yeah.
Right?
It's the box and everything, 100%.
They're good.
Oh my gosh, Abram.
So I'm a foodie.
I'm an Italian guy, so it's all about you have to ask,
is that theme to the party?
You always coordinate with the person.
You don't want any doubles of anything.
But probably something Italian.
I love the tomatoes with the mozzarella
with the balsamic and the caprese, they call it.
So stuff like that, or whatever the theme is,
you just try to help out.
I love that.
Yeah, I love dinner parties.
Oh my gosh.
Man, you've got to come out to Nashville, Tennessee
and come hang with us.
We would love to cook with you.
Crystal?
I was going to say the same thing, actually,
that you would ask, what the theme of the party was.
But my thing that I like to take, actually,
if I'm not asked, is roast a lamb.
Because I like to prove to people,
because a lot of people don't like lamb.
And I would say that I make the best lamb in the universe.
And the Crock-Pot always goes home empty.
And people were like, what was that?
And they don't even realize it's lamb.
Wow.
Sounds good.
I love it.
We found some good lamb.
That is the best way to my Greek heart.
We got some good lamb when we run our honeymoon.
That's awesome.
I love it.
OK.
What do friends say they love most about you, Tiffany?
Oh, gee.
This is where you get to celebrate yourself
a little bit.
We're moving into that.
Um, bubbly, honest.
OK.
Bubbly and honest.
Oh, bubbly and honest.
Perfect.
I love it.
Bernice?
My faith and sweetness.
Aw, I love that.
Abram?
Helpful and a little stubborn.
Mm, OK.
That's the Italian streak, right?
Yeah.
Have you seen that in me?
Did you just see him roll his eyes?
Good answer.
You played that well.
Crystal?
My ability and my heart to help people.
Oh, I love that.
So sweet.
What do you wish more people knew about you, Tiffany?
Oh, darn.
That's a good question.
Can you come back to me, or?
I can.
Do you want me to?
Yes.
OK.
Bernice, what do you wish more people knew about you?
That I'm more than a pretty face, pretty smile.
I don't say that arrogantly, but.
I like you should.
That's good, girl.
I like it.
Embrace your beauty.
I love it.
Abram?
I don't know what to say here.
I mean, I don't know.
Maybe I'm just a regular, normal guy.
OK.
Yeah.
Awesome.
I love it.
Here's my impression, Abram.
I'm so glad I made you get on tonight,
because there's way more depth to you
than first comes out when I've seen you
on these group calls and stuff.
I feel like you've got a lot more depth than people realize.
I feel like you've got some profound things to say.
That's just my prophetic word over you.
Crystal.
Thank you.
I would like to clarify a couple of things.
One, I'm super healthy.
Two, I didn't choose my gray hair.
I shaved my head bald to achieve this gray hair to the bald,
like to not.
even a hair on my head. So I grew it out because I do blood
under a microscope. And one day a client asked me to see my
blood and I prized myself by my good blood. Miss great baby
grace no under the microscope. So I took my blood and I showed
it to them under the microscope. And there was a big old black
splurge there on the microscope thing. And the lady's like
what's that? And I was like, that's my hair dye. The next
day I shaved my head. Wow. That's committed girl. I'm
there's no I'm going to die with hair color on my head. It's just
happening. Someone's going to pluck the chin hairs when I'm
old and gray. Okay, babe, make sure it happens. And I will
always have my hair. So I love that about you. But I will have
gray hair. I didn't say I was gonna have chin hair. Okay.
Okay, that's good. All right. Um, Tiffany, do you want to
answer that question? Um, would you wish more people knew about
you?
That I always try my best.
Perfect. Oh, I love that. I love that. I love that. Okay. Um, if
you could go back to your high school self and give yourself a
piece of advice, high school or college, what one piece of
advice would you give yourself? Tiffany?
Oh, um, don't sweat the small stuff. Just have fun. Enjoy
life. That one test that you thought was gonna like make or
break your career. It does not. Yes. I always tell my students
that. Yeah. Bernice, how about you?
I had too much fun. So I think studying and being a better
student.
Oh, okay. He went the other end. Okay. I love it. Abram.
Yeah, in high school, I kind of got caught up with just the
normal, you know, like, chasing girls trying to be a cool guy.
So if I could talk to myself, you know, just get back to my
roots. Like I was raised Catholic and just, you know, get
back to that man. It's a better place. It's a better way to live.
And so I'd give myself a little slow myself down. Try to help
myself prioritize what the truth is. Yeah.
I love it. Crystal.
Same thing not to get caught up in the caught up in the with
the what's going on around me with the, you know, the the
shiny objects, I guess, you know, when I was pretty set on
my set on my faith, somehow I let it get get a little bit to
the side in into university.
Yep. I love it. Okay. Good stuff, you guys. Um, which I
like this one. And this might need to be. It's 41. Okay, we
got room for we got time for two more questions. And of course,
you guys know, the last question I'm going to ask you so already
be thinking about it is, what are you looking for in a spirit
mate? Because obviously, people here are going to help you find
your person. So we need to know. But the question before that is,
which person of the Trinity are you leaning into these days? And
tell us a little bit about that. Because they got the Father got
the Son and got the Holy Spirit. And just to kind of give you an
example, like a lot of times people say, Jesus, because he's
like, obviously, it was a person. So it's easy for people
connect with that. A lot of our Pentecostals will say the Holy
Spirit. And I will say, especially after I dealt with my
dad's home going to heaven. In the last year in seminary, I've
really leaned into God as my father and really finally
embracing that in its fullness and realizing that daddy has
good things for me. And so you can have no answer or any
answer. But I'm just curious. So Tiffany, share with us if you
feel like you lean or you like balance between all three.
I do bounce between all three. At the moment, I'm focusing more
on Holy Spirit because I want to try to differentiate from when
I hear him speaking as opposed to myself. Yeah, I love it.
Bernice. I love that as my father. But I, I would say the
Holy Spirit because it's a season where everything is new.
And it's a new beginning with my moving in a new church. So I
really want to find out like what God has for me and the new
church and lean into the Holy Spirit and see if there's
something different he wants me to do.
I love it. I love it. Abram.
I've never thought about this. But um, off the top of my head.
I do like the I do like the, the man part that Jesus purchased
because he, he, he did it. He did what he was he did what he
said he was going to do. So I do like living it. I like that
idea. You got to figure things out. And you got to try to do
it. You know, I like that.
I love that. Crystal.
I'd say the Holy Spirit right now, one, for some more direction, because I think God's
got a different direction in my life.
But I work with a lot of clients and a lot of clients who don't have any faith that come
to me about their health.
And I really like to lean into the Holy Spirit to get a word from them so that they ask.
Because typically, when I see their blood and I put it up, and I know nothing but their
name and their age, I can tell them all about them.
And then if I can give them a word, then I can lead into sharing something about God
with them.
I love that.
So good.
Okay.
So our final question of the evening, tell us what you're looking for in a spirit mate.
Tiffany.
The three Ms, obviously.
I also, so obviously I'm a musician.
I also have a master's degree in opera, and I teach elementary school music.
So I do need to have someone who understands that, because if they don't, they're missing
a big part of who I am, and they won't understand me.
So at least an appreciation for your music, right?
Or what do you mean by that?
Maybe a little bit deeper.
It's hard to describe.
You want another creative?
Yes.
That's okay to say that.
Yes.
And when we're talking about mature, but also have a silly side, for sure.
I love that.
Bernice, how about you?
What are you looking for?
I want to be accepted for who I am so I can be myself, regardless of who I am.
Also I agree, I love someone that makes me laugh.
And also that he really loves God and wants to serve God.
Yeah.
I love that.
And he can dance.
Oh, okay.
So I've been working on changing the mindset, right?
I'm not looking for deal breakers.
I'm trying to get away from all that, and reasons not to.
So I'm pretty open to a bunch of different kinds of people.
You never know.
But I don't know, I'm kind of a goof.
I like to have fun.
I like to joke around.
And so maybe somebody with a sense of humor, maybe not offended all the time by every little
thing people say to them, or maybe I might say something.
So yeah, maybe someone that wants to have some fun, hang out, I don't know.
This is a hard question.
This is a deep question, actually.
This is a super deep question.
It is.
I mean, it's the final question.
Yeah.
Someone that wants a family.
Maybe I can go to some deal breakers.
Someone that wants a family, someone that wants to be a little health conscious with
me.
I'm not the food police.
I'm not doing that.
Yeah.
Yeah, maybe someone to go to the gym with a little bit here and there, drink some coffee
with.
I'm getting more basic the older I get.
All this little knick-knack stuff doesn't matter to me like it once did.
I don't know if I answered that very well, but.
No, that's good.
That's good.
I mean, I hear a lot of openness too.
Crystal, how about you?
What are you looking for?
All right, so I am looking for definitely because of I'm 49, but I would still like
to have a family, whatever God has that to look like for me.
I foster kids, so I find it a little bit easier now because people like in my dating profile
that I just did, when people see the foster baby, like I put her in there with a heart
over her head, they kind of, it's a question, you know, is that something you're into doing?
Because I guess at 49, not a lot of people are in that season of life and I still want
to be in that season of my life because I didn't have kids.
I want someone who's a little bit health conscious.
Obviously I'm super health conscious, you know, and I cook.
I mean, I'm a chef, so I went to culinary school as well, but I don't cook with any
wheat, dairy or sugar.
So I mean, they could go and they could eat other things, but I mean, obviously I would
like them to eat, to like a lot of healthy things.
Somebody that loves God, you know, wants to travel.
I'm like someone who wants to raise a generation for like unreasonable success, because I'm
a business owner.
I want to groom the next generation for success.
I want to leave a big legacy behind me, even still at 49.
I want to really groom some kids to be debt free, to really just lead the way and pave
the way in the world.
I love it.
So good, you guys.
You guys, you all did so good.
I love it. I'm going to remove the spotlights real quick so I can say our parting goodbyes.
I went way too long tonight. Don't tell Jackie. She's going to get upset with me. But I feel like
we had a lot of fun tonight. Like, I feel like we asked silly questions. We got to know you guys.
A little bit more serious questions. We gave you guys a chance to ask each other questions. You
got to ask us questions. And then we got to do a little spotlight at the end. And so if you're
watching this in replay, you can just watch it faster. See, that's the beauty with replay. You
can do 1.5 speed, which is now my best friend since I did seminary. I watch everything at 1.5
speed. Okay. David or Paul, I've not called on you enough. Paul, would you be willing to close
us out in prayer? Did I just embarrass you? No, no, let me unmute. Father, we thank you for
just this group, Lord, this community that David and Jackie have started, God, and just what you
were doing in it. And we just look forward to more, God, just more of what you have for everyone
here, Lord, the spirit mates, Lord, and just what you'll be doing through the couples, Lord, that
you're bringing together in the future. We just thank you, Lord, in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Y'all
guys have a great weekend. See y'all soon. Bye. Thank you. Thank you. Good night.