Hello, welcome, we're here for Monday night, so glad to see you all.
I see, I see Tiffany, where are my other ladies that everybody's hiding behind their screen.
If you're able to jump on, we'd love to see you.
I'm so glad to be here tonight.
I'm so thankful for all of those who have coached for the last several weeks.
I was taking sabbatical y'all, I was getting some rest and God was doing some things and
it's, it's really awesome to just let him minister to us in ways that we need it.
So I want to encourage you all, if there's times where you feel like God is saying, Hey,
I want you to slow down and rest.
There's a purpose in that.
So I want you to want to encourage you to listen to that and lean into that, whatever
that looks like for you.
If you've not met me before, my name is Bethany Cooper.
I'm one of the master hardware coaches here in the community.
And typically I'm here every Monday night, but we are going to shake things up in 2026.
So we are, we are, we have been investing in raising up our coaches.
We've been pouring into them, we've been teaching them and they're doing an amazing job.
And so for now, I will be here as far as I know, every Monday night at 8 PM, but we
might be bringing in additional coaches to practice and all kinds of things.
And it's really important for y'all to always understand, you guys did a great job because
I was able to go in and look at the chat while I was on sabbatical to see how things went
with the other coaches.
And you guys just really received them.
And I loved it.
I love seeing that because you know what God is, is the source, okay.
He's always the source.
And so no matter, you know, if we come on a prayer session or, you know, one of these
coaching sessions or a future coaching session, it's a really great place to have your heart
centered in.
God, I trust that you are going to help me hear what I need to hear in this session.
It doesn't matter who the person is.
Okay.
So thank you for being so kind to all of those coaches that I've been coaching over the last
few weeks, cheering them on, supporting them.
That was so awesome to see in all of you.
If you're new and you're joining us for your first time tonight, I would love for you to
put that in the chat for me so that we can welcome you.
For those of you that are at work and you can't turn your camera on, totally understand.
For those of you joining again, welcome back.
So glad to see you.
If you just joined in the last few minutes, would love for y'all to come on screen with
me if you can, so that I can get to know you a little bit better and so that your sisters
can see you too.
A couple of housekeeping things for us tonight.
This is just one I repeat every couple weeks, really every two months or so, but we'd like
to let you know that we don't ever approve posts from outside businesses.
If you guys share something from an outside business, individual, or even ministry devotional
content, here's why.
We don't have time to go through all those and make sure they align with what we believe
in this community.
And so that's just a guardrail we put up.
There's tons of awesome content out there, but when you're here, we want you to focus
on the content that's being created, has been created, is being created by our team, because
you know what?
It's from us.
So we're vetting it out when we're giving it to you.
And so that's just something in there.
So if you do ever post something, just know, please don't take it personal if we take it
down.
That's just within our kind of guidelines within our community.
Also if you didn't know, pretty much every Sunday, we put up what we call our weekly
roll call post.
That is like a summary of this Supernatural Saturday, but ladies, I want to make sure,
and I don't think any of y'all think this, but it doesn't take place of listening to
Supernatural Saturday.
Y'all God is downloading some massive truth bombs.
I don't know if y'all have been listening, but man, even myself, I was listening on later
on Saturday to the one that Jackie just did on gifts restored and back into alignment.
We're going to be talking about this more and more and more as a community.
When a gift is overextended, it becomes a liability.
Jackie talks about that all the time.
I'm so grateful to be learning from her still.
Even though I work with her and we are friends, man, I just, I still get so much truth from
the Lord through things that she's sharing and you all, one of my gifts, I actually just
took the strength finders test recently and I, I score really high on responsibility.
So guess what happens when that gets overextended?
I start taking responsibility for everybody's stuff, even though it's not my job, if somebody's
not doing it, I feel responsible for it.
And so, yep, Lisa guessed it.
Burnout city can happen.
And so, you know, this is why it is important for us to rest.
It's important for us to have our gifts in alignment.
That's just one example.
Obviously, Jackie gave you several other.
Again, just please listen to those Supernatural Saturdays if you can.
I know that there's a ton of content for those of you that are brand new in our community.
And even those of you that have been here for a while,
and you're just still having a hard time getting through the content,
just know there's grace.
So don't feel, you know, guilt or shame if you haven't listened to it yet.
I'm just trying to let you know it is absolutely worth it.
All right, so let me pray for us and get us started tonight.
Father, thank you.
Thank you that you are the God of restoration.
You're the God of redemption.
God, I thank you that you're the God of reconciliation.
Yet you are in the midst of us tonight.
I thank you, Holy Spirit, for coming and weaving in and out of tonight,
that you would open the eyes of our hearts and open our ears
to hear what your spirit is saying, God, that we would walk in step with you,
that we would receive the revelation that is needed for us individually tonight.
God, you know every one of these amazing women.
You know their stories, the current stories, the backstories, all the trauma,
everything that they've walked through.
God, you know exactly what they need tonight.
I pray that by the time I release the word out of my best ability to obey you, Lord,
by the time it reaches their hearts, God, that it would bring freedom,
that it would bring revelation, that it would bring breakthrough, God.
We know that where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom and liberty for the captives.
So we're asking you, God, for supernatural breakthroughs tonight.
And we just thank you, God, for all that you have planned.
Protect our hearts for every seed that's planted as well.
In Jesus' name, amen.
Y'all know that when the seed is planted,
that soil scripture where it talks about the different types of soil
and how sometimes the seed will start to pop up
and then something will try to come and grab it out of there or scorch it.
Well, that has a lot to do with the condition of our hearts as well
when we receive the word, okay?
And so, again, this isn't about shame or anything,
but I'm just feeling led to encourage you all to really ask the Lord
to cultivate your hearts and prepare your hearts
before you even come on live sessions,
before you watch the HeartWork videos,
before you read the HeartWork book,
because all of us have, you know, trauma that we've been through.
We have lies that we believe as a result of those traumas
that we're still all sifting through.
And so sometimes when we even sit down to read the truth
or hear the truth or join a prayer call,
I can't tell you how many times people get offended.
Offense is an opportunity for an upgrade.
Jackie has been someone that's taught me that so well,
not just because I've gotten offended, you all.
I have.
Even when we love people, people can say things that are offensive.
But, like, God is like,
hey, let me invite you into the truth of this
versus you receiving the lie through this.
And so I want to encourage you, if that's you,
if you tend to get really offended easily,
whether that's here in this community or outside the community,
you would ask the Lord, okay,
is there something you want me to know about this?
You know, is there any of this that is not true that I need to discard?
Is there any of this that is true that I need to pay attention to
and grow through and really receive healing
so that we don't continue to get tripped up with those things?
All right, that has nothing to do with our content tonight.
Those are just some things the Lord is dropping in my spirit
just as I was praying for us.
We're going to talk about submission tonight.
Some of you all have been here for the session when I talk about submission.
But as always, I encourage you to be open to hear something fresh.
Because just like, you know, y'all, look, this is my hard work book.
I'm no joke.
I've tagged this thing up.
I've re-read it so many times.
And I learn something fresh all the time.
So we can all receive fresh stuff over and over and over.
So tonight we're talking and being reminded that God will not trespass.
He's not going to trespass in your heart.
So he must be permitted to enter.
By who?
Well, you.
It's going to be you that's going to let him into your heart.
He's going to be the one that's coming there.
And I'll talk about the scripture in a little bit.
But he's going to knock on the door of your heart.
And he's waiting for you to give him permission to enter.
God is a giver.
And one of the most beautiful gifts he's ever given all of us,
his sons and daughters, is the free will to choose.
He gives us that ability to choose.
He respects our boundaries.
He's not going to force things on us.
He's not going to come and pound the door down and force his way into our hearts.
No, he's going to say, hey.
daughter, I love you. This, this guy that you're dating, he's hurting you. And this is not my best
for you. This is not my plan for you. One of the ways he said to me, he, I thought it was just
myself, but later learned that it actually was the Lord. It was the Holy spirit telling me,
this isn't your family, but I would sit with my spiritual daughter's dad. We would go and
visit for the family and the guys, I just didn't enjoy hanging out with them. And so y'all I no
joke. I am not even joking when I say this, I would just go like the kids would like be playing
outside and I would go and sit. There was a couple of dogs at the house. I would sit with the dogs
because I love dogs and the dogs are fun and they're loving and they're kind. And I would sit
there so many times and think, man, this just doesn't feel like this fits. I really don't think
I want this to be my family. And you know, so for whoever that's for, if you've had thoughts like
that, when you're with someone that you dated on and off, or even have been dating, or you look
back at situations, that is the Holy spirit saying, Hey, I have something better for you.
I have something better for you. Submission tonight, what we're going to talk about in
regards to submission, there's a couple things, but I want to talk a little bit about
how some religious men and women have weaponized this word submission and portrayed their thoughts
and their messages as from God himself. But they've actually been misrepresenting God to us,
his heart to us, his truth to us regarding what submission actually means.
And so as you're praying, even where you're at, I want to encourage you to pray and ask the Lord
to reveal to you if there's religious mindsets and heart postures that you're currently living
into that do not align with the truth of heaven.
God, do you want to give me an upgrade in my understanding of submission, of your character,
of who you are, of your plans for my life? Help me to receive your truth. Because here's the reality,
some of these things, I'm not saying they all even mean to weaponize this word submission.
I believe it's because they have a lack of revelation on the truth of it.
But submission was never meant to be somebody lording authority over us and pushing us down.
Now I'm using my thumb, but you know, some people are like, no, like, I don't want to hear what you
have to say. When you're here, you don't get to speak. You need to sit at the table and be silent.
And y'all, this isn't just when we're kids.
Some of it, yeah, we grew up as kids and the saying was like, be seen, but not heard.
Or even this afternoon, someone was giving a share. And one of the things they said was,
their dad got all these flowers. And if you're on tonight, I'm not going to share your name,
but I thought this story was so powerful. And I think it will help a lot of the other ladies as
well. But they, their dad bought all these flowers and they were, they were younger,
younger kid, and they were excited to try to help their dad. And so they, if I didn't
misunderstand the story, they, they planted the flowers. They did something to try to help,
but the dad didn't take it that way. The dad reacted and really a bigger,
I would even say it's beyond a reaction. I borderline said it sounded slightly abusive.
She said that she got spanked a lot. She didn't even just say I got spanked. She said,
I got spanked a lot for doing that. She got spanked for planting flowers.
So don't you think that's a misrepresentation of authority? Sure it is. Now I'm not,
I'm not calling down fire and brimstone on her dad, because guess what? You all
hurt people, hurt people. Okay. I'm not excusing that behavior either, but I'm giving that as an
example because that was when she was younger. Now we see it showing up in today's world around
dare I say boardroom tables and, and of, and meaning even in ministry and different
environments and situations. We see it when people are dating. I had this guy I went on a
date with at one point, not Brian, praise the Lord. My husband, this has nothing to do with
him. It's just a totally different guy, but I think it really comes in. And this
This is not like a very like overt,
hey, submit to me kind of thing.
But I remember, you'll start to notice this,
I hope, and I believe this for y'all.
You'll start to notice this ick feeling
when something just isn't right.
So I went out to dinner with this guy
and we ordered our food and y'all, I ate what I wanted to,
but I didn't eat everything on my plate.
And the guy asked me, you're not gonna eat that?
And I said, no, I'm full, I'm not going to eat that.
And he kind of just looked at me,
so then I could tell like it felt this tension.
And so I was like, if you wanna eat it, you can eat it.
And so he did eat the rest of the food,
which whatever, that's fine.
But here's the thing, I could tell that that bothered him
that I did not eat all of that food.
Back in the day, I would have never even said,
no, I'm finished.
I would have felt that tension
and forced myself to eat that food
because I felt displeasing to someone.
Do you see how this works?
So there's these underlying,
sometimes the way people convey things
that if we've been hurt in the past,
or if we're people pleasers,
or we struggle with that kind of having boundaries,
we may interpret something from someone
and then shift and do something to submit
or to not make them unhappy.
Do y'all see where I'm going with this?
So we have to be really aware of this.
Now, the flip side
is we don't wanna be super rebellious either.
I'm not gonna let anybody tell me what to do.
No, God doesn't want us to go in that direction either.
So we wanna ask the Lord
to help us to live our lives in balance.
And when we're with someone that's not healthy,
that yes, hey, Lord, help me recognize
those unhealthy patterns and behaviors
in the people around me,
but help me to walk out the healthy pathway
even in the midst of them.
Do you know that other people
can be massively unhealthy around us,
but we don't even have to flee the scene all the time.
We can learn how to remain in God's peace,
to abide in Him and allow Him to help us to rise above it,
to change the way the dynamic impacts us.
I'm learning this more and more and more
with people in the church.
We are learning so much.
So I know that you all can learn it too.
The Holy Spirit is the one who's gonna enable you
and help all of us discern what God's truth is
about submission more and more and more in the days to come.
But we must be willing to allow God to heal us
and reveal to us areas where we have misconceptions
and belief systems, as I was talking about earlier,
that are preventing us from living
a healthy and amazing life.
I'm seeing Sandra put something in the chat there.
I wanna see what she's saying.
Whenever I cannot finish food in front of someone,
but the next day the leftovers are inhaled, okay.
I know something is off with that relationship.
Yes, I think those are absolutely things
that we should pay attention to.
Sometimes I think, you know,
we're just so afraid that someone's not gonna like us
or they're gonna think we're eating funny
or just weird things get in our head.
Ladies, it's real, okay.
But if we feel that way,
it's not always about the other person.
Sometimes it is about us.
Insecurities flaring up all over the place.
So be sure to ask the Lord, is it about them?
Is it because of them that I didn't eat this food
or I felt uncomfortable or whatever?
Maybe it's not food for you.
Maybe it's you, you know, don't show up as your full self,
whatever that is for you.
But if it is also about something in you,
God will reveal that.
Let's keep going on this.
Colossians 3.21, it says,
fathers do not embitter your children
or they will become discouraged.
I love to put the King James Version in here as well.
It's very similar, but I like the verbiage that it uses.
It says, fathers provoke not your children to anger
lest they be discouraged.
Provoke here, literally in the Greek,
it actually means to stir up, to excite, to stimulate,
especially to anger, to provoke them.
And ladies, you know, I also want to say here,
let's be thinking about, you know,
how you interact with your kids as well.
If you have kids, really important.
You know, I believe mothers more than ever,
especially when they're operating in the divine masculine,
embittering their children more and more and more in society today. We're seeing this total flip
where women are so aggressive. Y'all, we see it. I'm not going to be political, but we're seeing it
all over the news. I'm going to call it out. That is divine masculine functioning.
We need to really be seeking God and asking him like, hey, is this how you would respond in this
situation with your kids, with other people in the world around us? As I said, even in the church,
you know, people are struggling and they're triggered and they're doing all kinds of stuff
and saying stuff. And so we can go to their level and escalate and escalate with them,
or we can say, hey, Lord, I know that what they're doing is not healthy. Help me to
rise above that in perspective, not escalate with them, but rise above that with your perspective
and handle this the way that you would handle it. And y'all, a lot of times, you know what that
means? There are times that I definitely, as I said, even at that dinner, speak up for myself.
But there are times that God is like, don't say anything. Just don't say anything.
So we want to live at peace wherever it's possible for us. And so if you are someone that struggles
with a lot of anger or a lot of just, you know, hatred on the inside towards yourself, towards
other people, and maybe you haven't even labeled it that way. Maybe it's just this constant
irritation. Like everybody just frustrates you. Ladies, let's be willing to look at where did that
start? Where did that start in us? And if someone's treating you that way,
if your parents treated you that way, like you were always a bother,
I want to encourage you to ask the Lord to reveal when was the first time you felt like
you were just always a bother to your father or your mother or grandparents. You know,
it depends on who raised you. Maybe even teachers, you would try to approach the teacher's desk. The
Holy Spirit just said, teachers do this too. I think we've got a lot of really amazing teachers.
If you're a teacher on here, thank you for doing what you do. If you're a nurse, any service,
any service, not just armed forces, but any service, individuals, nursing, all of that,
thank you for how much you put up with to take care of children and families. I'm just so grateful
for so many people that work in those roles. I know that it's getting harder and harder.
And so we're going to see the opportunity for this stuff to keep escalating because the enemy
is trying to stir all this stuff up. So that's why it's important for us as the body of Christ
to allow God to heal us so that we can walk in freedom and healing and help other people there
as well. All right. So we want to address those situations where we didn't have healthy experiences
as I was referring to, even right there with our fathers, maybe it was your husbands, your exes,
maybe it was men in authority over you. It could be women in authority over you. If you're someone
that you just always struggle to be under women in leadership or with a big group of women like this,
because another woman in your life has offended you and really deeply hurt you, not just offended,
but like wounded you, or maybe you just struggled with your mom. You guys never got along. And so
there was a lot of rebellion going on in your heart towards your mom. All those things are
important for us to work through that so that it doesn't hold us back in our current dynamics today.
So I want to encourage you all to forgive those people that were in authority over you for the
unhealthy actions, words, treatment that they committed towards you. I'm going to give you
another example that's coming up in my spirit. And when I say this, I have forgiven my former pastor
and his wife. I love them. I've talked to them since all of this happened. And so I always want
to preface that because there's so much bad talk about churches. And you know what? There's a lot
of good stuff happening in churches. So it's important to talk about both. But years ago,
when I was going through my divorce, well, even before the divorce, really, I went to my pastor's
wife. And I was just really struggling and I needed help. And there was just a small group
of us. There was like two or three ladies, maybe four, that were standing there. We were at a
practice for this play that we were doing. And I was just really struggling that night. And I was
telling her some of what was going on in my home. Y'all, now keep in mind, I was not the kind of
person that was going around church talking bad about my husband. I actually didn't like when
other women were doing that. Just gossiping is what I'm talking about. Gossiping.
and putting their husbands down.
But the only reason I shared what I did that night
is because I was really like,
I needed help and I didn't know what to do.
And my pastor's wife scolded me that night
for sharing openly in front of other people.
And she was a really kind woman,
so her scolding wasn't like yelling at me,
but I felt very shamed, okay?
And so I sought help elsewhere.
And what was interesting is then
when I sought help elsewhere, that was funny,
then I got reprimanded for that
and told how I needed to be careful
because that organization was Jewish
and it didn't have the Holy Spirit in it.
And I'm like, wait a minute, I have the Holy Spirit in me.
And I don't even believe what you're saying anyways.
So I've met a lot of really amazing people
that are of the Jewish denomination
and there's a lot of good things in them
and they can discern a lot of good things.
And so anyways, I guess I'm just trying to say to you all,
that was really hard because those were people
that I felt were supposed to be a safe place.
They were like my family, essentially.
I spent a lot of time with them
and I was going to them because I needed help.
And when I didn't get the help with them,
I went to where I felt like I could get help
and then that wasn't allowed either, if you will.
But I had to stand up for myself
and allowed the Holy Spirit to enable me
to keep moving forward to get the help I needed.
And God has led me on a very important
healing journey since then.
So when these people in authority are rising up,
when they're saying things, doing things,
remember that God is not like that.
Remember that there's a lot of times
these people are misrepresenting who he is,
not just like his love towards us, but his character.
So we wanna encourage you all to ask God
to help you grow in your understanding of his character
because that is gonna be key.
So who is God is love?
Who is God is kind?
Who is God is faithful?
Who is God is good?
Who is God is peace?
And sometimes, I don't know if y'all ever feel like me,
but sometimes if you've been saved for a while
and you've read things over and over again,
you can start to feel like, well, I know this.
Well, I already know this.
And I think even some of us were like,
we have people that come in the heart work
and they're like, I've heard all this before.
I'm like, really?
It might sound similar, but I just, I'm sorry.
Not just because it's our program,
but I go into other programs
and they might have some similar threads,
but if the people are different, how could it be the same?
How could it be the same?
It's just, in my mind, that's not possible.
So we have to have teachable spirits.
We have to be willing to learn.
We have to be willing to say, okay,
I don't see this the same way I did yesterday.
I believe right now that God,
you can give me something fresh to see.
I just heard a minister this past weekend.
We had an event at our church
and he was teaching us about discipleship and stuff.
And he said that there are some people
that literally study one book of the Bible
their entire lives.
They devote themselves to studying.
They read other books in the Bible, but they study it.
They're theologians.
They write commentaries on it.
And I just was like sitting there thinking like, wow.
Like sometimes I read this, I never get tired of the word.
So I don't want it to sound like that, you all.
But sometimes you do read something.
I think that we start to get a little bit of pride in us
and we think, oh, I've read this before.
And he said he and his wife will, for an entire year,
they decide what book they're gonna read together
for that year.
And they read other books too,
but they really studied that book together
for the whole year.
And I thought, man, that is so cool.
Maybe my husband and I will do that, I don't know.
But I still thought it was really, really awesome.
And what I felt like it taught me,
and it really revealed something in me,
that the enemy often tries to discourage us
from going deeper in something.
And I believe that he is the one
that often will put thoughts in our head,
like, you don't need to read that again.
You already know that.
You don't need to forgive them again.
You've already forgiven them.
Now, once we've forgiven, yes, of course,
we release that person and set them free.
But in this program, and just from what God has taught me,
I genuinely,
Genuinely believe that healing happens in layers,
forgiveness happens in layers.
We can't forgive something we don't have revelation of.
Yes, I believe that we at overarching,
we're like, yes, I forgive,
like I'll use my dad as an example.
Dad, I forgive you for leaving us.
I forgive you for never remembering my birthday.
I forgive you for abandoning us
and going and having another family on the side.
Those were definitely things I forgave my dad
for multiple times, but you know what?
Underneath each one of those,
there were other things that God would reveal
along my journey that were connected to other things.
It was very hard to understand that.
Back in the day, I'd be like,
why am I still struggling with this over and over?
And I would like feel all this shame and guilt,
like I hadn't done enough to forgive.
Well, no, that's not true.
You are every day receiving more information
and you have more capacity, hopefully,
to receive more truth and revelation.
And so what you chose to forgive yesterday,
a week ago, a month ago, a couple years ago,
if God is bringing that back up in your spirit,
now there's some new information he's trying to show you.
I 100% believe that with all my heart.
So this word submission,
I wanna encourage you to wrestle with this a little bit.
Really ask God if you have a problem.
And some of you are like, no, I'm good with submission.
And that's awesome.
And I hope that is true, if that is your thought.
But I really want you to be willing to ask yourself
and ask the Lord, am I really good with this?
Is there any struggle in me that shows up on any level
regarding submitting to any kind of authority?
The word submission actually means
to yield to the power of another.
Yield is letting go in the process.
You're learning how to trust God.
First and foremost, we're learning how to trust God
with those people in that relationship, okay?
You're not just trusting that person solely,
you're trusting God and you're allowing God
to enable you to submit and trust someone else.
Now, obviously we don't want you to go around
submitting in a relationship that is massively toxic, okay?
There's a difference here.
And I'm not saying don't have a good attitude,
but if you're around someone and they're massively toxic,
I would not encourage you just to go along
with everything that they're encouraging you to do.
But we wanna be willing to submit first and foremost,
as I was saying, to God and his greater truth, okay?
When we know the one we're submitting to,
when we know God, when we know his character,
y'all, we are more enabled to trust him.
The more that I got to know Brian,
and still even in marriage, we're four and a half years in.
Is that right, y'all?
22, yeah, yeah.
When I'm getting to know him better and better
and better and better and better all the time,
even into marriage, several years and beyond,
y'all, I trust him more now
than I did even the day I married him,
because he's a safe person.
And I have grown to know that I can trust him.
And the man that he said he was
is the man that he shows me that he is.
And that helps me trust him even more.
It's not just words, it's with actions, okay?
God showed us his actions.
God showed us his character,
his words and his actions lined up.
How?
All through the Bible,
but let's just look at the fact
that he sent his one and only son.
And he gave him up for us
so that we could be in relationship with the son
as the son is in relationship
with the father and the Holy Spirit,
so that we could be one with them,
that we could be in relationship,
that we could experience intimacy,
that is divine.
It's pretty incredible.
So who are we submitting to?
God.
The key is being rooted in his love
and understanding his love towards us.
And then out of the overflow of that love understanding,
we can surrender, we can submit.
Submission is not about someone dominating us,
controlling us.
And ladies, as I was talking earlier,
it's also not about us controlling
and dominating other people.
My husband and I are partners.
We work as a team, ladies.
So guess.
But submission is a mutual respect
and surrender towards each other.
When you have two healthy people,
you're coming together as a team, you choose.
You have to continue to choose.
It's not just when you get to the altar, ladies.
Promise you this.
Even after marriage, it's a choice to submit to each other.
Brian and I are a team in ministry and life,
in parenting and friendship.
And we are learning how to mutually choose to respect
and surrender to one another daily.
Revelation 3.20 says, behold, I stand at the door and knock.
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door,
I will come in and eat with him and he with me.
In your heart healing process,
we want to encourage you to yield to God.
And remember, again, he's not gonna force his way in.
He's gonna stand at the door and knock.
It's our choice to surrender and open the door.
Remember that what we believe we become, ladies, okay?
So if you believe that you can't trust God,
you're gonna struggle to submit and surrender.
Not only to God, but in relationship with a man.
It is, it's gonna be evident.
And the guys are gonna pick up on it.
The unhealthy guys will get attracted to that.
You'll be surprised.
Yeah.
I see you, Sandra.
I know, girl.
It's real.
When we are not healed and we don't trust God
and we have all these internal struggles,
it attracts the unhealthy people to us.
It really does.
So we wanna just keep healing more and more.
We don't have to be perfect.
But here's the other thing.
I said this afternoon to one of the ladies,
when I was dating, even that example of that guy,
that that wasn't super bad,
but still it was like an ick feeling.
But there were some other guys that I came across
that were like, ooh, red flag, red flag, red flag,
go the other direction.
And back in the day, I wouldn't maybe have done that.
I maybe would have just been like,
well, maybe there's something good in there.
Jackie was talking about those gifts overextended,
always seeing the good in people, having faith.
Y'all have a massive gift of faith.
And that's part of what kept me in a six-year relationship
with my spiritual daughter's dad,
because guess who always had the faith
to believe for him to change?
This girl.
But his actions, he was telling me the whole time
who he was, the whole time.
He showed me every single day who he was.
He cheated over and over and over again.
And I just kept believing that he could change.
And it's not a bad thing to believe that people can change,
but it doesn't mean I gotta date him.
Praise the Lord I left that.
Praise the Lord.
If you're struggling with something like that,
I just want you to know there's hope for you.
If I can do it, if I can break free from that,
you can break free from that too, for sure.
For sure.
All right, two more scriptures,
and then we're gonna go into breakout sessions.
Job 22, 21, from the NLT version.
It says, submit to God and you will have peace.
Then things will go well with you.
Remember here, if you didn't know this, it's okay.
But if you've already heard me say this before,
that's why I'm saying remember.
Remember that the word peace here,
I'm gonna read the scripture to you again in a minute.
This is what it actually means in the Hebrew.
To be in a covenant of peace, to complete, to finish,
to make whole or good, to restore.
So God is saying, submit to God,
or excuse me, in the scripture,
it's saying submit to God and you will have peace.
You will be restored.
You will be made whole.
I'm gonna give you a covenant of peace
and then things will go well with you.
That's Job 22, 21 in the NLT version.
I'm gonna read Proverbs 3, verse five
in the message translation as well.
It says, trust God from the bottom of your heart.
Don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything that you do,
everywhere that you go.
He's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
This is where, again, it's important for us every day
to ask the Lord to give us a revelation that's fresh.
Lord, help me to receive something new today.
Help me to come out of alignment with anything
that is deceiving me from the fullness.
of your plan for my life. Show me any blind spots, God, that I have, any filters that
I'm hearing things through that cause me to see people in ways that that's not who they are.
And that includes the Lord as well, ladies. Okay. All right. Before we go into breakout,
I'm going to read. I love to read this over. You got you all the submission activation. Hopefully
you all have printed this out. Even if you're brand new, if you haven't yet, please do that.
That should be in your, um, welcome area. But if you want to just close your eyes, I love y'all
have y'all, if you feel comfortable to close your eyes, of course, do whatever you want. But I feel
like I hear the Lord and connect with him more when I close my eyes, put your hand on your heart.
Father, God, I give you permission to search me and to reveal anything in my heart that does not
belong to my true identity that is hindering me from living the life that you created me to live.
Holy spirit. I invite you to come into the darkest places in my heart.
Show me the areas that are still wounded and are still hurting. When you reveal these broken
places to me, I covenant with you to release them into your care and to respond with forgiveness and
repentance. I set aside the season of my life for a time of healing and wholeness
and ask Holy spirit to take charge of this process. I ask that you dwell with me and in me.
I need you. I cannot heal myself. I want to be free from the past, free to be who I truly
am. Help me to become who you created me to be. Show me the lies that I believed about myself,
my life, my surroundings, and even the lies I believed about you, God, teach me the greater
truth. Teach me your ways. Teach me how to think and how to live abundantly. Teach me, show me,
heal me, grow me. In Jesus name, amen, amen. All right, so we're getting ready to go into
the breakout sessions. I want to encourage you all to talk to each other about this question.
Do you struggle with submission and why? And if you don't struggle with submission, you can go
ahead and share why you don't struggle with it. That's totally fine, but I want you all to have a
conversation with each other about it. All right, let me get these breakout sessions ready. Just
give me a few seconds here. Hopefully it won't take too long. All right, if you get into a breakout
room and somebody doesn't show up, kind of hang out there. I'm going to do my best to move people
as quickly as possible around if I need to, okay? All right, we're going to do six minutes.
I just want to make sure, yeah, six minutes because there's two of you. So that should
give both of you about three minutes to share, okay? All right, go ahead and click to join those
as quickly as you can. Once I get everybody situated, for those that are working, you're
going to stay here in this room. I will pray. All right, oh.
All right. Father, thank you so much for this day. We thank you, Lord, for all that you're
doing in our lives. We thank you, God, for freedom and the Holy Spirit. We thank you,
God, for giving us a revelation of your truth. God, I thank you for, yeah, thanks, Lord, for
your anointing upon our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our spirits, and our souls. I thank you
upon our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our spirits, and our souls. I thank you, God,
that you would come in. Yes, Lord, and just place the balm of Gilead upon every broken area of our
hearts, our lives. God, that you would just cleanse us from all unrighteousness, any area
that is not pleasing to you, any area that's still broken from trauma. God, the areas where
the enemy, he just continues to try to speak through those areas of brokenness and the wounds
of the past. God, I thank you for just the reminder of who you are as a good father who
has good gifts for your children, that you love us as your daughters, and that you desire to lead us
into the fullness of your plans and promises and purposes for us. Psalm 147, verse 3 and 4,
this is in the Passion Translation, says this,
he heals the wounds of every shattered heart. He sets his stars in place, calling them all
by their names." Man, isn't that good? Every area of our hearts that have been shattered,
He heals it all. God, thank you that you, I just kind of see that picture. I remember
years ago when I went through divorce, when I was in the middle of going through the divorce,
I just remember thinking my whole life felt shattered. Like if you had taken a vase and
just crushed it with something, I just felt like everything was scattered. And I remember
God meeting me one night, I was in my car after work. I'd worked two jobs. I was exhausted. I
remember breaking down and crying. I just was like, God, I don't understand. I did everything
you asked me to do. And this is what I have to show for it. And I just felt so broken in that
moment. And I remember God just kind of giving me this visual picture of like His loving hands.
And He was just like, if I could kind of display this for you all that are here, as well as those
that are going to watch this replay, I just felt like He was showing me like His loving hands,
just gathering all those pieces. And He was just like showing me that He was like going to care
for every one of those pieces and that every one of those pieces was not only going to be cared
for, but He was talking to me a lot about restoration in that time. And you know,
I couldn't have imagined it back then, the life that I have now. And I just, you know,
think it's so important for us to remember that God will not, He will not fail us. He will not
fail us. We must continue to pray and believe in His promises and just allow Him to, yeah,
like the scripture talks about being transformed by the renewing of our minds, you know, all that
old stuff can pass away and behold, everything can become new in Him. And we can receive those
fresh revelations day after day after day. All right, let me read this one too. I feel like this
goes in alignment with what I just was saying. Matthew 7, 24 through 25. This is also in the
Passion Translation. It says, everyone who hears my teaching and applies it to his life
can be compared to a wise man who built his house on an unshakable foundation.
When the rain fell and the flood came with fierce winds beating upon his house, it stood firm
because of its strong foundation. So when we build our hearts, we build our lives on the rock,
on the Father, on the truth of who He is, that unshakable foundation, no matter what troubles
come, no matter what might shatter us, if you will, like I was saying, that God will help us
to endure those things and come out on the other side redeemed and just really amazing masterpiece.
I don't know if you all have ever looked underneath of when someone's sewing a quilt,
but when I was little, my grandma always did these quilts and sometimes I would lay down
underneath of it while she would be sewing up on the top of it. And I can remember underneath,
you see all the yarn, the thread, you know, because she's quilting the thread. I hope that's right.
It's all kind of looks really messy underneath, but then on the top, there would be this really
beautiful design that she was putting together. And so I think of that a lot. I feel like when we
see the underbelly of things, it looks really messy, but when we trust the master craftsman,
he's the potter, we're the clay, when we trust everything that he's doing,
we will not be disappointed because he's making a masterpiece out of us and out of our lives.
And that's when we continue to surrender those things and situations to him over and over and
over again. All right. I'm going to read another scripture before the ladies come back here.
Ephesians 3, 17 through 19 in the NLT version, it says, then Christ will make his home in your
hearts. As you trust in him, your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong.
And may you have the power to understand as all of God's people should. Sorry,
I got to close these rooms. As all of God's people should. How wide, how long, how high,
and how deep is his love? May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to
understand fully, then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that
comes from God. I love that part of that scripture where it says, and may you have the power to
understand. So Lord, even as the ladies are finishing their conversations in these rooms,
God, I thank you that you would give every one of us the power to understand God, who you are,
the revelation again of your love, that we would become more rooted and grounded in that
in Jesus name. Welcome back. So glad to see you again. Let me bring up my screen. I want to show
you all the activation. If you've already done this activation, you do not need to do it again.
I know that question comes up. And so we are doing the roots and fruits activation.
this week. I want to encourage you all, first and foremost, it's really important for you
to not compare yourself to other people. Okay? Everybody agree to that? Can you agree to
that for me? You're going to do what God shows you to do. I wanted to start off with this
one first because sometimes I show the other ones and everybody's artistic in their own
way, but I want you guys to know, you ladies to know, it can be very simple. The point
of this activation and all activations is just that you do them in perfect action. That's
what we're taking in perfect action. Can everyone just go ahead and say that with me in perfect
action, I'm going to take imperfect action. Okay. And so you're going to have perfect
action. That's right. That's right. Good job. You're going to ask the Lord to help you take
imperfect action. So roots versus fruits. I want you all to pray and ask the Lord to
show you the current roots you have in your life that are not serving you well. Okay.
It's leading to unhealthy fruit. And then I want you to also ask him to show you the
good roots and fruit. Okay? Because I want you all to practice seeing both. Some of y'all
might have more unhealthy roots and fruit than healthy right now, and that's okay. That's
why you're here. Praise the Lord. You're going to heal and you're going to learn and you're
going to grow and you will be amazed at how much that will change in just a short time
as you keep taking steps towards the Lord. So for example, this lady, you can see some
of the things she put here. Fear of man went up to, I forget exactly. I have this in large
so I, or maybe I cut that picture off, but it goes to other things. Let's see here. Unhealthy
efficiency went up to distracted. So her root of unhealthy efficiency went up to the
fruit of being distracted all the time. Let's see. Poverty mindset led to fear and selfishness.
And there might be other things, but just giving you all some examples, the other branches
that she has here are showing a little bit of leaves and a little bit of flowers. Those
are her healthy roots and healthy fruits that are connected to each other. So I want to show
you that. And then I'm going to kind of scroll up real quick. This one here is another one. I
like to show this one just because if you can see on her roots here, continual learning growth
mindset. So this is a healthy one. Okay. She's got some healthy ones here. Now here is fear of
rejection. And then what she did, she felt, and this is where I want you all to pray and do this
the way you feel led to do it. But she identified the lies that she believes or has believed that
connect to that fear of rejection. So for example, the lie of you are inconvenient, hide out behind
the scenes. I had a lady literally all, I hear this often, but I had a lady literally this weekend
when we have this event in our church, she showed up, we had all these round tables set up in the
front of the church. And, and then we had other rows of chairs. She sat all the way in the back,
you all. So I walked up to her. She's a little bit newer to our church, but I've talked to her
several times. And I said, Hey, do you want to come up and join us up at the tables? And she's like,
uh, I'm like a wallflower. I don't, I don't want to have to be seen. And I said, Oh, that's okay.
But you can come up to these tables and sit at the back of these tables. If that's what you're
comfortable with. Cause of course I want her to be comfortable, but y'all, I want you to hear
something. The enemy is really busy in our society right now, trying to convince people
that they are wallflowers. That's what they're called to be. That's who they are.
And that's where their comfort zone is. And so they should just stay there.
Y'all I get it. People are scared and they're nervous. You know what that says to me at some
point connection was broken for them. And because connection was broken for them somewhere,
they believed a lie that they should just stay behind the scenes and not really be seen or heard.
Y'all that's not what God has for us. Okay. All right. Another lie should put on here.
Leftovers. She will only get the extras and the most you'll ever be is extended family. Y'all
these are, these are massive things. And I think a lot of people in our community struggle with
this stuff. Here's another lie. Fear of rejection led her to be shy. That kind of goes with the
other thing too weird, quirky to be accepted, powerful stuff. So again, pray about this for
yourself, but I wanted to show you just a couple. Here's a lady that's a teacher.
Again, just going to show you these really quickly so you can see some different personalities
coming out here.
This is one that's done on a computer.
This is perfectly fine too.
Again, ladies, this is about what works for you.
It's about getting it on paper.
So she had unhealthy boundaries, insecurity, fear.
Those were the negative ones.
And then you'll see up at the top that connect to those negative ones.
Unhealthy relationships, loss of identity, feeling stuck.
Great job.
These are awesome.
This is one done on a computer.
And then this lady is an artist, so don't get super intimidated, but it's beautiful.
I love to share it with y'all because she shows the contrast between the dark unhealthy
fruit, the healthy fruit, that's the light colored.
And I love that she pulled the Holy Spirit into this.
So powerful.
So let it be yours.
But once you do it, we want you to post it in the group.
We want to see it.
We want to comment on it.
We want to pray for you about it.
And ladies, just know you're not posting it for us.
You're posting it for yourself.
Okay?
That's who you're posting it for.
And you will be surprised at even some of you, you'll post it and you'll start to get
breakthrough after you come into community.
Allow yourself to be seen.
Allow yourself to be heard.
Even your vulnerable places.
Yes, ladies, I know that for some of you, that is massively scary.
But guess what?
That's why God sent you here.
God knew that I was going to be on here tonight and our team was going to be on here all the
time, encouraging you all to come in and share.
That's that's a part of becoming a part of the community.
Into me, see intimacy.
Hey, we love you.
We're going to, we're going to cheer you on and support you and coach you to the best
of our ability.
All right.
So we have an half.
We have a half an hour for coaching for group coaching.
And so I'm going to start.
I think I saw Wendy's hand go up first.
And so ladies try to keep your shares short, brief and powerful.
And I'll try to do the same on my coaching too.
So we get as many people through tonight and a half an hour as we can.
Okay, Wendy, go ahead.
Oh, you're muted.
Okay, I unmuted.
Okay.
I have a problem with submitting to God.
And I think it all stemmed from right after I became saved, I became the happiest kid.
I wasn't so I was a sad kid because my mom was a rageaholic and embarrassed me all the
time.
She would go out in the front yard and scream and scream in the backyard, scream and scream
and neighbors would hear and stuff.
And then I have to deal with it at school.
And so once I became saved, I was free, I knew I was going to heaven.
And so I was the happiest kid and I was living with me where my parents had sort of separated
and I was just a happy kid.
And then after a while, my dad started molesting me after that.
And I guess I and then I became more introspective after that, because I knew I couldn't share
what I was going through with any of my classmates or anything like that because of embarrassment.
I'm so sorry to hear that your dad molested you when you were younger.
I think that's the first time I've heard you share that, Wendy, in our in our group session.
Thank you for trusting us with that.
Um,
well, I was I was older when it happened.
I was like, 1314 when it started.
So I mean, you're still young.
Yeah, you were younger than
I'm so do you feel like well, let me ask you this it this way.
Why do you feel like and I can guess the answer, but I want you to tell me so that's why I'm
asking.
Okay.
Why do you feel like you struggled to trust God after that?
Is it have happened right after it became saved?
I used to go to church by myself.
Okay.
Do you believe the truth that people have free will?
Yes.
Okay.
Do you believe that God in his great love for us?
He gives everybody free will?
Yes.
Okay.
So if God in his great love for all of us gives everybody free will, then and I, I,
I blamed God to when I when I processed all of my views.
So I want you to hear that as well.
But I just want to help you process this out.
If God in his great love gives all of us free will, why would we blame God for something
that man does to us?
I've been working through that.
Yes, I do trust God.
I just have sometimes problems with a little bit of submissions.
Yeah. And it's very normal. And that's why I wanted to say to you that I process this
stuff out a lot too, and it does take time. But in the submitting, remember, it goes back
to, which you just said it, goes back to that we actually struggle to trust God. And if
you want to go a layer deeper, a lot of times when we struggle to trust God, it's that we
believe the lie that he actually doesn't love us to some degree. Because a lot of times,
especially people that are abused or have been abused on any level, there's, there's
some aspect that we struggle with that says, if God loved you, why didn't he keep that
from happening? Okay. And so I'm just going to call the elephant out because that's what
a lot of people struggle with. And I think it's super important that as you continue
to go to the Lord, that not only asking him to help you learn how to submit out of his,
out of the love relationship that you have with him. But I think the underlying there
is God helped me to grow in the understanding of your love for me more every day. That's,
that's genuinely something I prayed over and over and over again, every day, literally.
This was back, I'm going to say like maybe probably 2017, where I really started honing
in on, on God helped me to understand you more as love every day. Lord helped me to,
to grow in the understanding of that. I am enough in you that you make me secure. And
the more that I grew in the revelation of his love for me, the more I was able to surrender
and submit. And honestly, I'm just going to say this too. I think sometimes when it is
a choice to submit, but sometimes I think when we just feel forced to submit, it's not
genuine out of that love place. And so then it just falls apart because remember behavior
modification isn't what God is looking for. He's not trying to get us just to be good
or just submit. He's like, no, fall in love with me, get to know me as love. And out of
the overflow of that, I'm going to enable you to be able to submit and surrender. And
so there's aspects of our hearts where we need more. I'll call it this way, but if I
say the word invasion, y'all, I don't want you to think of it in a negative way, but let
his love permeate and invade every literal, like every crevice of our heart. Right before
when y'all were in that breakout room, I don't, I don't know if I'll be able to find it
now, but, um, oh yeah. When, when I was reading the submission prayer, thank you Lord for
helping me remember the line in there that says, Holy spirit, I invite you into the
darkest places in my heart. Well, the reality is, is we all have some of those crevices,
don't we? Where the love just still isn't all the way in there yet. And it's not our
fault. It's because we've been through things that taught us something differently.
And then we put up walls. And so we want, we want to keep asking God to come into every
facet of who we are and help us have a revelation of him, of his kindness. You probably,
because of what you went through with your mom as a rageaholic as well, your dad abusing
you. I would also say that you just coming into a fresh revelation of who is God as, as
good, you know, a good father. Um, I, I read a lot of books over the years about, um, you
know, God in his, like the father heart of God, you know, that father, that loving side of him.
And I really meditated a lot on that. So I would encourage you to do that as well. Wendy,
I know that you already do this, but as you continue to go, that you would just keep soaking
in that truth. And I believe that's going to help you be able to submit to him more and more.
And I just want to say, I don't know if you got your hair done, but it looks really nice. I like
that color. Um, is it different or is it just different lighting? I just, um, I just, I guess
it's just the lighting here is different. I'm in a different room in the house. I like that lighting
and I like the way that I can see you tonight. So I appreciate it. Thanks. You're welcome. It's
different lighting. So that's why I love it. All right. Awesome. You're welcome. Yash, go ahead.
Uh, hi, Bethany. So I'll make it quick. Um, so I was speaking to Shweta as well in terms of
submission, uh, the question that you gave. Uh, so Shweta, um, I'm not sure if you can hear me.
something that God revealed to me was that I have this anger if I feel that
Um, I'm not sure if you can hear me. Um, I'm not sure if you can hear me. Um,
someone is attacking me physically I want to hit them back and even I feel
that if one of my friends for an example I heard one of my really close friends
you know that she was telling me about how her husband hit her some time ago
and I kind of want to hit him back and I thought okay this is weird and where is
this coming from and then today a lot showed me when I was about seven or
eight I remember that heated argument with my in between my parents to this
day very vividly so I remember my my dad is usually a calm person but he's
expressive but he's never hit me he's never hit his wife he's not a person who
hits but I remember that time that he he was actually in that heated argument he
raised his hand like this to express himself and my mom thought that he was
gonna hit her and she went on attacking him with hands right like you know are
you gonna hit me like you know kind of I felt that was very disproportionate to
what he was doing and then as a kid I was very frantic worried traumatized
because I was the only child I'm the only child in the family so I went be
like between them and I tried to like pull them apart right and I think that
kind of stuck with me that I thought you know I need to kind of self-protect
myself kind of thing that you know and that anger so and I was I was praying
about it and I asked God like why was my mom reacted that way so she was raised
with a very strict father so punishment was like even if they do the slightest
thing like you know they'll get walked or like punishment was kind of you know
a BA you sing in their life so I thought probably maybe that so if you have any
helpful tips for me to get out of this I mean I would really appreciate it yeah
thank you for sharing first so interestingly enough we had a similar
thing come up this afternoon and let me just look at my notes here because I
feel like it's gonna be very similar it's not the same but I feel like
there's a lot of similarities here she was saying that she just would feel very
defensive quickly now that your situation sounds a little different but
I want to remind all of you that anger is hurts bodyguard okay so when anger
shows up as the protector we have to ask ourselves why what's the root of the
anger what's really going on here so you said if you feel like someone is
attacking you you you want to get them back so let's just you talked about mom
and dad I feel like because that came up you've shared about your mom and dad
before and I don't think I've ever heard you share that story and so I want to
encourage you go ahead and process a forgiveness prayer sheet regarding that
situation with your mom and dad because of the fact that you jumped in the
middle to try it like you were scared to try to stop what you thought was
happening and I would encourage you as you're processing that to ask the Lord
to show you the truth in that situation too even though as an adult you figured
out how to interpret that your mom overreacted but the little girl you is
still telling you a different story on the inside okay and so that's part of
what's causing these reactions in you now that that defensive protectiveness
but also asking the Lord when anger is showing up what are the lies you're
hearing at that time okay so give me another example of if someone is
attacking you like do you have a recent example of that happening
attacking me no but attacking others others yes the recent example was my my
dear friend she was telling me about how her husband hit her and I was like okay
I wanted to hit him back for that and I'm like that's really weird I mean you
know that's unhealthy it's not even me so it's just that well okay let's let's
just talk about this for a second ladies don't we all have flesh right we
all have flesh I'm not saying that God wants us to hit someone okay we should
not act out on our thoughts and our feelings especially in those ways but
let's just talk about the flip side of this for a second do you think that it
breaks God's heart that your friend got hit by her husband yeah do you
think that God feels angry about that? Yeah. So do you think that you feeling angry about that
is automatically a bad thing? Yeah, I don't think it's a bad thing. I think the bad thing I felt was
my reaction to it. Yes. Yeah. That's the part that yes, we do need to look at that. But I,
I felt like for everybody's benefit, I think we automatically assume if we have a negative
emotion that that's bad. And I want to make sure that we're asking God, okay, is this emotion
appropriate for this situation? Not that we need to act out on it. Just like I was telling you
guys about the situation in the church. We can't, Brian and I are called to not react and act the
same way other people do. Okay. We had people trying to lie and say something a couple of weeks
ago. The enemy's just trying to stir up all kinds of trouble. You know, the enemy's busy, but so is
God. God's on the move and he's doing things to praise the Lord. And so God, this guy went on
Facebook and he was saying stuff there and he showed up in church and he's saying stuff that
wasn't true. It just like literally you all like literally making stuff up.
And I was, I was, when I saw his Facebook post, I was angry because he was lying and then he was
going public with it. Right? Okay. The reality is, is not that many people saw it. That's the reality.
But when I allowed myself to just feel that, okay, but then I gave that over to the Lord
because guess who is our defender? God is my defender.
The people that needed to know the truth already knew it. They already knew what was going on with
that couple. That couple was really toxic and we were having to hold them lovingly accountable for
some things they were doing. They, the enemy through them was trying to retaliate.
Okay. So I'm saying all that to say, Yash, yes, I would encourage you to ask the Lord,
where is that reaction coming from? But I also want you to be okay with the fact that sometimes
you're going to feel a righteous anger. Okay. It's just that we don't always need to act out
on it. And sometimes God is going to call you not to go and hit someone. Of course,
I really don't want y'all doing that, but he might, he might lead you to go and stand up for
someone. Y'all. I met this woman and this has been years ago. Now I came out of an abusive marriage
out of an abusive home growing up. I was at the time working as a hairstylist and I came across
a woman there that her husband was beating her. And I felt very angry about that.
So what did I do? I got to know her. I loved on her. And then when the time was right, I asked
her if she wanted help getting out of there. And so when she said yes to that, I went to her house
and I helped her pack up and I helped her leave that guy. It was her choice whether or not she
wanted to divorce him, but I wanted her to be in a safe home. That was the goal for me. Okay.
I'm not telling you to necessarily do that with your friend. I'm just saying to you that that,
that righteous anger that I felt led me to pray and ask God, what, like, what can I do about it?
Like I can pray, but is there anything in the physical that you want me to do? And he led me
to encourage her, not push her, not shove her to move out, but to invite her to find a safe place
and that I would help her do it. So pray about what God's trying to show you through that. I do
think he wants to heal the situation with your mom and your dad and that dynamic. And I feel
like he's using this thing with your friend to highlight that, but also again, balancing
and not feeling guilty for having feelings that are actually, you know, it's good to feel angry
when someone's getting hurt and have passion about that. Yeah. All right. Thank you. You're welcome.
Thanks for sharing. Leslie, go ahead.
Hi. Hi. Hi. So I am.
still stuck. I'm sure God doesn't want me seeking the attention that I'm getting right
now from a male. Um, and I'm having a really hard time walking away from that.
Okay. Remind me, Leslie, are you still in heart work or did you move on to phase two
and you're coming back for heart work session? No, I'm still in heart work. I haven't moved
on, but moving on might help with the situation. Um, well, have you finished the heart work
course? I mean, I don't know if I've done all of the stuff I've been in it for a long
time. Well, that's okay. Being in it a long time doesn't mean we necessarily finish the
heart work. So we want to finish the heart work. And what that means to me is you guys
have videos to watch. You have your book to read. You have homework assignments come into
live sessions and then the activations that we get. All right. And so, yep. And the reason
I was asking you that first is because we do have some people that are in phase two
that come back just for heart work as well, even though they are in phase two and they
are starting to date. So I wanted to know where you were at with that. Um, as you know,
in phase one, we encourage you all not to date as me. Is this a guy that you were already
kind of entangled with before you came into the heart work? No. And I'm not dating him,
but, um, there's just a lot of attention that I'm getting from him because I run in his
circles playing pickleball, like almost on a daily basis. So, okay. So how is, how is
the attention coming? Well, um, he thinks he's in love with me. Well, I'm saying like,
are you guys talking on the phone? Are you talking on the phone? Um, and go to dances
together. That kind of thing. You guys are kind of dating. I guess it kind of looks like
dating without calling it that that's what's happening right now. Okay. He hasn't officially
asked you on a date. Well, he did. And I said, no. Okay. But you guys are, are kind of acting
like you're in a really, like you're behaving like you're in a relationship is what I'm trying
to say. So what I would say to you as your coach lovingly is I would say, Leslie, if you want to
get the most out of this heart work, you've got to cut that off. And a lot of times, ladies,
what you don't understand is the enemy will send people to you to distract you,
to distract you from receiving everything that God has for you in the heart work, because it
can actually delay your breakthroughs. And I don't want to scare you all, but I can't tell you how
many people will date during the heart work. And they'll go all the way through. They'll still date
even in phase two, but because they started dating in phase one, many people have come back
even a year or two later. Okay. And so I would encourage you to break off conversation with this
guy, to stop talking on the phone with him, to stop texting him. You can do that by saying,
I'm in this program. That's really important. And I need to focus on that at this season of my life.
Okay. Because here's the thing too. He might be a really nice man, Leslie. Okay. But,
and you might find that when you finish the heart work and move into the dating phase,
that maybe you will choose to date him or talk to him at that point.
But what's happening and can happen is when you're not allowing yourself time to heal,
you're still viewing things through filters. Okay. And blind spots. And then a lot of times
what happens is what we call situationships. So that's what I would categorize this as right now.
Okay. And even if it's only a few weeks, a month or two, how long has this thing going on?
I want to say a couple months. Okay. Maybe. Yeah. And so here, here's,
and just so you know, you're not in trouble. I think it's important for everybody knows she's
not in trouble, but I am going to lovingly, really strongly encourage you to set boundaries here,
because you're in a situationship and, and you're really giving a part of your
yourself and your heart to the sky are.
ready and he hasn't earned it. Okay. And you deserve to wait so that when you step into
it, you'll be fully ready. Okay. So let me ask you this, cause I think this is an important
conversation to have for a little bit tonight for everybody's sake. What draws you to have
these conversations with him? Is there a tension you're getting that feels good? Yeah. Okay.
Tell me about that. Uh, like what is it feeding in you? I'm feeling desired, I guess. Like,
I don't know. It's, it's, I know it's not right. Cause he's not a healthy guy, but the
attention's intoxicating. Okay. So now you're telling us he's not healthy. Hey, what makes
him not healthy? Um, uh, he's more recently out of a 45 year marriage and he has a lot
of healing that needs to happen. He's just an angry person and I can't do angry. Okay.
So do you like talking to this guy and feeling desired? No, I do. Yeah. He's a good conversationalist.
Okay. But he's angry. I mean, I've seen little tiny windows. I can't, I have like a lot of
anger trauma from my past. So if I see it in any capacity, you know, it's much larger than
what you're seeing. You know, I don't, he doesn't get angry with me. Well, he's on his best behavior
right now. Oh, sure. Right. Yeah. He's got the mask on. Yeah. Okay. So I want you to be careful
here because what I also hear you doing is saying, well, I tend to get triggered by this. So
I think it's just, you know, he showed a little bit of anger and I'm making it bigger than it is.
Well, is that true? Or do you have discernment as well here? That's kicking in.
It's definitely discernment because everyone around him sees the same thing. It's not just me.
Okay. I feel like you're, you're saying he's unhealthy, he's angry, but then you're like,
well, wait, no, he he's, he's good. And he's, do you see what's happening there for you? You're
trying to like, this is what we do. I did it too. Back in the day with the girl's dad, I would,
any, any negative thing I would like say to somebody, as soon as they would start talking
to me about, yeah, you probably need to like cut that off. I would like make excuses for him.
It's even worse for me. I don't make excuses and I tell him, no, I can't date you. You're
too intense. You have a rough exterior. You have anger issues, but I like the attention you give
me. That's the truth right there. Okay. So you got to get to the root of that. That's why I
highlighted that in what we're talking about, because deep inside, there is a hole in your heart.
We all have them. I'm not just saying, Leslie's got a hole in her heart that can't get fixed.
I don't want people to hear what I'm not saying, but there's a hole in there that needs filled by
God. And if you try to fill it with this man or any other man at this time, it's going to,
it's really going to throw you off. It's going to throw you off. You're not going to get everything
you need from the Lord and you need him to fill that void. And that void probably came from
neglect and things when you were younger that still need some healing. And I know that you
and I've chatted a little bit about some of those things, but in, in particular, you know,
any abandonment that you felt along the way, any neglect, that's going to be a sore spot.
And so here comes this guy desiring you, you, he's a good conversationalist, but you're telling me
he's not healthy. And so God has really great plans for you, Leslie. And I would say this to
anyone. Okay. I'm trying to save you from what I did that wasn't healthy. And it led me down a very,
very painful path. Okay. You don't want to go there. I'm telling you, you don't want to go
there. So asking the Lord to reveal to you the root of what is causing you to go past boundaries
that you know, you shouldn't go past. Okay. And then to give you the courage to break off
communication via phone and via text. Am I saying you can't go do the group things where he's there?
No, I'm not saying that you may, you may feel led to do that at some point too. I don't know,
but for right now, let's work on not talking.
the phone to him anymore and not texting him anymore. Now I'm not your parent. I can't police
you. This is between you and the Lord. But all I can do as your coach is say for your benefit
and your heartwork process, Leslie, you said you've been talking to this guy a couple months.
Do you know that you could be done with heartwork by now?
Think about the time that you're spending talking to this guy on the phone
and you could be doing, and I'm not shaming you. I'm just, I'm just saying,
we have to look at this stuff. The enemy is distracting you.
Okay. So give yourself what you deserve and you deserve the time to work on your heartwork
so that you can be healed and sore and attract a really healthy guy
who doesn't have anger problems, who doesn't have the baggage of a 45 marriage that he hasn't
worked through yet. All right. Yeah. Does that sound like a good plan? That sounds very good.
Thank you. Okay. So here for accountability reasons, again, not your mom, but I would love
for you to come into the group and tell us how this goes when you break, when you set it and I,
so that you don't feel this pain about it. I just want you to think of it as setting a healthy
boundary to invest in loving yourself really, really well. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I'm in the group
and tell us how this goes. Okay. Even if you have to say, I know I need to, you told me,
but I'm really still struggling. Just be honest. We're going to do our best to keep encouraging you
and try to see you through this. Okay. Okay. Thank you. All right. You're welcome.
Thanks for sharing. Roseanne, go ahead.
Hi, Bethany. Welcome back. Thanks. I actually, so I've been, I should be done by now, but I'm not.
And so I kind of started over in my material because I got stuck and had some things,
health issues come up. And so I started over and I got, I actually was working on last night,
chapter five, that's the heart womb. And it asks you in there, what are some of the areas of your
life you think are problem areas? What are the fruits of these problem areas? And so I had
already written, you know, some things when I went through it before, but I was just kind of looking
at it again last night. And because it's been mentioned here before, I know you've talked
about it and maybe Jackie, I just, I am a quiet person. And I know you've talked about it a lot
as maybe that's not the real you. And so I was kind of looking at that last night and I don't
know if I have a complete understanding. I mean, I was like, can you talk a little bit more about
that? But like, okay. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. I was just going to say, well, let me say this.
We all have different personalities. Okay. So some people are more introverted or like
Amberverts where they're extroverted and introverted and there's extroverted people.
And so there are different personalities and there are different ways that we show up in the world.
But if there's something that's like convincing us that we are shy, that we're meant to be a
wallflower, that we are meant to just always be in the background, whether it's something we like
actually know in our heads, we're having these thoughts or it's causing us to behave in those
ways. There's a difference between being more quiet in our demeanor and the way we communicate
versus shy and not showing up in the world. Does that make sense? It makes sense. It makes sense.
I'm just not sure which category I fall into. That's all right. Because several years ago,
I went through a different group thing with a bunch of people. And that was one of the things
that we talked about. And because I've always said I'm shy. But one of the girls said, well,
I don't know that I would say that you're shy. And so I kind of evaluated myself, I guess. And
I identified shy as connected to shame and quiet. Like, I see shy as you have something to say,
but you won't say it for whatever, you know, you don't feel valued. You don't feel like what you
have to say is good enough or whatever. And then quiet as when you have something to say, you say
and not out of any kind of fear or anything.
And I would say that there are times
when I have things to say that I do say them,
but particularly I was thinking about it
when I was waiting, you know, like at work sometimes,
and discussions kind of get circular
of bringing up a problem,
talking about what we can do to solve it,
and then never coming to any resolution.
And that is, to me, it's wasted energy and time.
And I don't, you know, it's like,
I don't want to invest in that kind of a conversation,
you know, so.
And that's okay.
I mean, there's times where I definitely,
if I'm in a conversation with someone,
if I feel like it's starting to go in a circle
and it's not going anywhere,
I will either try to lovingly redirect that
and change the subject to shift out of that
so that I can then before long
ease out of that conversation with that person.
So there are times where I feel like that's just wisdom.
Like if there's a conversation that isn't healthy
or it's not productive,
I don't know that God wants us to waste energy on that.
But you said something interesting as you were sharing.
Okay.
You said, I've always said I'm shy.
Now, after that person in your small group said,
hey, I don't think you're shy.
Do you still say that you're shy?
Or did you stop saying you were shy
after you had the revelation of like,
oh, maybe I'm not shy.
Yeah, I stopped saying I was shy.
Okay.
And I, cause I saw the difference
in being shy versus quiet.
You know, I didn't always know
that there was a difference, you know,
and I did, you know, in my growing up years,
I, which I think I've shared about her before.
I have a sister, we grew up,
I mean, I'm one of five, but she's eight,
we're 18 months apart.
So we were really close and she's very gregarious
and a chatty Cathy in her personality.
And so I do think that impacted,
shaped, you know, my personality.
And I don't know that, I mean, maybe she did,
I don't know, I don't remember,
I don't have specific remembrances or instances
where I think she talked for me, you know,
but I do know, you know, that like,
because I didn't start driving,
I didn't like sit for my license until after I was 17,
just because I was with her
and she was driving all the time.
You know, so.
Yeah, I think some of that is normal.
Yeah.
But I have, okay, a couple of things.
I really would love for you to pray about,
are there any things,
I'm giving you a homework assignment, okay?
Okay, okay.
Are there any things that God would have you to do
to get you out of your comfort zone
in the next three months?
I'm way out of my comfort zone right now.
Okay, well, this is a good start, this is a good start.
And here's why,
because I think what I am sensing
is that there is like,
God's trying to draw you out a little bit more.
I think that yeah, it can be tough
when you have a sibling that's a little more,
you know, boisterous and all the things
and you're kind of up under their shadow a little bit.
But I feel like there were some aspects of yourself
that you kind of turned down, toned down, if you will,
which turned you into shy and quiet,
but that God wanted to always develop that in you.
It wasn't God's intention for you to tone down, if you will.
And I think the only way you're gonna discover
these aspects of yourself, Roseanne,
is to do things that you may have always wanted to do,
but maybe said, I'm too shy.
Does that make sense?
It makes sense.
That's why I want you to pray about it
because it's not so much sit down and make a list.
I want you to ask the Lord,
Lord, have there been any things throughout my life
that I wanted to do or wanted to try
that I convinced myself I couldn't do it?
I was too shy to do it.
Anything like that, make a list of those things
and then start doing them.
And I don't know if this is gonna resonate for you,
but I just saw someone in my,
spirit, an image of you in my spirit, taking a microphone and singing karaoke.
So I don't know if you've ever thought about doing that and never done it.
Have you ever karaoke'd?
I have.
Do you like to karaoke?
It's not something I do all the time, but I did it at an act, you know, at a
singles gathering one time we did karaoke.
So, okay.
Did you feel alive and fun?
I felt like it was fun.
I mean, I like, I like to sing, but I don't know if I'd get up there by myself.
I was up there with a group of people, but.
All right.
So I think there's something to this thread.
I think that the things that cause you to feel like you're coming alive, that's
where God wants you to go more.
Okay.
And then the last thing I was going to say to you is, um, to really be praying
into, um, when those discussions go circular, just asking God to like,
confirm, is this a conversation that, you know, Lord, did you want me to end that?
Or did you want me to say something and speak up more?
Okay.
Really good.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
And I did want to say to you and to everyone else, ladies, it's okay.
If you feel led to redo the heartwork.
Okay.
And start back over.
It's okay.
If you guys are in here for awhile.
But in Leslie's case, so don't hear me say something.
And again, Leslie's not in trouble that she's still here.
Okay.
But because she's in this thing with this guy, it's delaying her heartwork process.
And some of you all, your distractions might be other things.
You have too many things on your plate.
You're trying to do too many things at once.
Maybe kids are distracting you.
Maybe it's work.
You know, everybody has different things.
Okay.
But I always, Eloise knows this take one step, just keep taking one step ladies.
Okay.
And Roseanne going back and doing it because you felt like the Lord was
leading you to, because you had that, you know, illness that you were dealing with.
That's not a bad thing.
Praise the Lord that you're following the Holy spirit.
I think that's great.
And so I just want to support you or anyone else that's in that place.
We're not going to kick y'all out, but I'm going to lovingly nudge you all.
If I feel like you're, you're getting distracted because you're
going to thank me for it later.
You're going to thank me for it later.
All right.
I'm going to take Glenna and she'll be my last person.
We're at nine 37.
So if you need to jump off, I really am going to work on getting us back to an
hour and a half because I know I want to be true to our time.
So if you need to jump off, totally understand.
I'm so glad to see all of you tonight, but Glenna would love to hear what you
have to say, and then she will be my last person this evening, Bethany.
Welcome back.
You know, I've done the tree and the root and one of the biggest destructive
roots of my life has been rejection.
And, you know, I've been listening to the audio book with Joyce Meyers on
healing the wounds of rejection.
And sometimes I have to stop the audio because it's just a lot, but, um, you
know, mainly in family relationships, I sometimes feel rejected.
Um, but recently I had, um, I had an incident in a business relationship
and it, what was a week ago was conversation with, I'm a general
contractor and it was with one of my owners of, um, one of my subcontractors
and it's a woman and she's a Christian.
And, um, I build a very different house, very high performance house.
And so I'm always trying new, new, um, like this was a new furnace.
I tried and went to Houston, Texas and learned about the training, blah, blah,
blah.
Um, and I tried it on my daughter's house and it's not functioning properly
and I keep having them come back.
And she made a statement.
She said, well, my husband knows what he's doing.
He's been doing this 40 years and you're the only one that he's ever had a
problem with.
So I let it go for a minute, but I did have the courage to circle back and say
to her, I'd like to revisit the statement you made.
Um, you know, and I said, first of all, that's very offensive to me.
Um, and I said, secondly, I know I build a very different house, a very higher
standard to the 2021 IECC code.
And, you know, we've earned seven housing awards from the department of energy.
In other words, I started explaining to myself and I'm like, why am I doing this?
Stop, because I don't need to explain, but how in the moment, how do I, you know,
again, I'm, God is pulling the layers off of me because I have done really well.
on other situations, not to take the bait of that offense and that rejection.
But in this, this one just really triggered me.
And it literally last week was just, I was horrible week because I, every day I was like
almost consumed with that.
And I don't want to be, I want that to heal, you know?
Yeah, I do.
And Glenna, you know, I brought up that situation from the church.
You know, I think it makes me think of that again, as you're sharing tonight, because
I absolutely wanted to defend us.
And I felt like I had a right to.
Me too.
Yeah.
But here's the thing that I felt led to ask you.
If you didn't say something back to that woman, what would be your worst fear?
That it's true.
That what part is true?
That I'm, I'm the problem child.
Okay.
So that's the root and that's what we have to look at.
So, you know, sometimes it's like this ladies, we have to face our deepest fear.
So what is our deepest fear?
A lot of times there's that, that quote that talks about our deepest fear is that we're
inadequate.
Right.
That we know we're called for greatness, but we're inadequate.
But that's not actually true, right?
Because God equips us, doesn't he doesn't say that if he calls us to something, he's
going to equip us, he's going to enable us, he's going to empower us.
And we can call on the Holy spirit to do that.
So even in this situation, let's say, let's just worst case scenario it for a second.
I don't think this is true, but I'm just doing this for us processing this out.
Let's say that day, you were the one that said something you shouldn't have said, right?
This is all, I'm just making this up, right?
Is God's grace big enough to cover you?
Yes.
Even if the wife comes standing up for her husband, is he big, big enough to cover a
mistake that we make?
Can we turn to him and trust him with these people and these situations?
And, and instead of like, one of the things God showed me in this situation that we just
went through y'all, I literally like genuinely, like, I'm not saying we never make mistakes,
but we have been so loving to these people.
And a lot of times that's the worst, right?
The people that you, you actually go out of your way for you're, you're doing things with
excellence.
Glenna, it sounds like you're really doing stuff that's above and beyond.
And then someone's coming in there jabbing you for it.
Right.
And you're like, what the heck?
And it feels almost more painful because you're not doing something wrong.
Be different if we, like, from my perspective, it would have been different if we had done
something wrong, but we didn't.
And then he was saying that we did.
And so I'm, I'm saying sometimes we have to look at those situations and we have to say,
you know what?
That's a distraction.
Yep.
I don't need to defend myself.
I don't need to prove myself.
And if we believe we have to prove ourselves, we need to look at that.
Why do we feel like we need to prove that we didn't do something wrong, that it's okay
for us to build the house the way we build it?
You know, why, why do we feel that we have to defend ourselves?
I think part of it goes back to why you were talking.
What came up in my spirit was when I was, I was, I was the only child and when things
would go wrong with my, in my mom's life, she always blamed me.
And even to the point where she locked herself in the bathroom one time and took a razor
blade and said she was going to kill herself and it was all my fault.
And I was only like nine years old.
So as you continue to let, you know, these situations, not just let them go, but keep
healing from them, you know, the reality that, I mean, that's still very painful for you
clearly.
Right.
Um, what came up interestingly enough tonight, were you on, when I was sharing about the
responsibility gift, were you on at that time?
Yes.
And I, and my strength finders responsibility is real high on my list too.
Okay.
your responsibility gift is getting overextended probably at times too.
Okay. So be aware of that. And that probably got overextended.
If you're like me, if you relate at all to what I was saying earlier,
because of what I went through as a kid, that responsibility is a gift,
but as a kid, I literally felt like I had to take care of everyone.
Right.
And so it got overextended then.
And then I just kind of carried that into all of my relationships until literally
you all, I mean,
and there's been things over the years where God is like, yeah, that's not your,
you don't need to take care of that. That's their problem.
And so that's been helping me with it.
But genuinely in the last six months to a year that God's really been
highlighting to me, like, that is not yours to carry.
That's not your job.
And I think in this situation,
I felt over responsible because my daughter just moved back from Charlotte and
this was her house I built.
So I tend to try new products on either my own personal house or
a model home. So it was an opportunity to try that product. And,
and you know, also I've been,
I've had some issues with this contractor over the last year and a half.
And I met with him several times to try to resolve it.
And it'll get a little better for a while, but so,
but you know, in the mean,
most likely I'm just going to say, I don't know this guy,
but I'm going to guess he has, and you don't need to point this out to him,
but you may want to pray for him.
I'm going to guess he may have some mother wounds.
So he may really struggle to work with strong women,
women in authority.
But the other thing that kind of stood out to me,
and then I'm going to start to close. I don't know if there's any connection here.
So just ask the Lord about it, but you just, you're saying I,
I put this product in my daughter's house.
And then on the flip side, a little bit ago,
you were talking about you and your mom, right?
And I don't think that's a coincidence. There's this, you know,
like really wanting to be a really great provider,
a great mom for your daughter and feeling like something went wrong in her
house. I don't know. Like, it just feels like that's a coincidence there.
And so it might be nothing,
but I would just encourage you to pray into that and just see if there's any,
you know, anything that the enemy is trying to lie to you about in that regard.
And like I said, there might be nothing, but I just wanted to mention it.
No, there, there is. Cause I don't ever want to
fail as a mom.
All right. And what you said is you didn't want it to be true,
what they were saying, right?
So failure as mom might be the root of that. Okay.
Okay. And I think just the more that I'm, I'm even thinking on it,
I think that go that direction and let's see what gets healed in you.
And because failure as mom might feed into failure as a worker failure in these
other areas potentially, but the root might be, um,
failure as mom.
And it might even be the lie that you were a failure as a daughter.
Cause you said you had to be responsible for mom.
She blamed you with all this stuff, but it actually wasn't any of your fault.
It wasn't.
Later found out that she was schizophrenic. She had mental illness and,
and I was able to forgive her before she passed away and took care of her,
you know, and that didn't have any hard feelings. She, she was,
she had mental illness and didn't have the help like we do today.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Pray into those other things, ladies,
this has been an awesome night. It's been so good to be back.
Let me pray us out father. Thank you so much for this amazing night.
Thank you for these incredible women.
I pray that you would give them the courage to follow through on the heart work,
to invest in themselves, to hear what your spirit is saying to them. God,
we thank you for upgrades. We thank you for revelation,
breakthrough and freedom in the spirit realm. God,
as well as here in the physical realm, God,
we thank you that you would guard and keep watch over them and their children
and their grandchildren and God help them to live at peace with you and
with men and Jesus name. Amen. God bless you.
I'll see you guys in the group. Have a good night, everyone.
God.