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Hello, welcome, we're here for Monday night, so glad to see you all.

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I see, I see Tiffany, where are my other ladies that everybody's hiding behind their screen.

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If you're able to jump on, we'd love to see you.

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I'm so glad to be here tonight.

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I'm so thankful for all of those who have coached for the last several weeks.

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I was taking sabbatical y'all, I was getting some rest and God was doing some things and

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it's, it's really awesome to just let him minister to us in ways that we need it.

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So I want to encourage you all, if there's times where you feel like God is saying, Hey,

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I want you to slow down and rest.

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There's a purpose in that.

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So I want you to want to encourage you to listen to that and lean into that, whatever

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that looks like for you.

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If you've not met me before, my name is Bethany Cooper.

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I'm one of the master hardware coaches here in the community.

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And typically I'm here every Monday night, but we are going to shake things up in 2026.

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So we are, we are, we have been investing in raising up our coaches.

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We've been pouring into them, we've been teaching them and they're doing an amazing job.

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And so for now, I will be here as far as I know, every Monday night at 8 PM, but we

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might be bringing in additional coaches to practice and all kinds of things.

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And it's really important for y'all to always understand, you guys did a great job because

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I was able to go in and look at the chat while I was on sabbatical to see how things went

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with the other coaches.

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And you guys just really received them.

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And I loved it.

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I love seeing that because you know what God is, is the source, okay.

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He's always the source.

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And so no matter, you know, if we come on a prayer session or, you know, one of these

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coaching sessions or a future coaching session, it's a really great place to have your heart

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centered in.

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God, I trust that you are going to help me hear what I need to hear in this session.

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It doesn't matter who the person is.

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Okay.

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So thank you for being so kind to all of those coaches that I've been coaching over the last

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few weeks, cheering them on, supporting them.

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That was so awesome to see in all of you.

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If you're new and you're joining us for your first time tonight, I would love for you to

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put that in the chat for me so that we can welcome you.

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For those of you that are at work and you can't turn your camera on, totally understand.

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For those of you joining again, welcome back.

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So glad to see you.

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If you just joined in the last few minutes, would love for y'all to come on screen with

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me if you can, so that I can get to know you a little bit better and so that your sisters

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can see you too.

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A couple of housekeeping things for us tonight.

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This is just one I repeat every couple weeks, really every two months or so, but we'd like

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to let you know that we don't ever approve posts from outside businesses.

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If you guys share something from an outside business, individual, or even ministry devotional

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content, here's why.

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We don't have time to go through all those and make sure they align with what we believe

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in this community.

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And so that's just a guardrail we put up.

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There's tons of awesome content out there, but when you're here, we want you to focus

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on the content that's being created, has been created, is being created by our team, because

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you know what?

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It's from us.

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So we're vetting it out when we're giving it to you.

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And so that's just something in there.

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So if you do ever post something, just know, please don't take it personal if we take it

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down.

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That's just within our kind of guidelines within our community.

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Also if you didn't know, pretty much every Sunday, we put up what we call our weekly

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roll call post.

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That is like a summary of this Supernatural Saturday, but ladies, I want to make sure,

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and I don't think any of y'all think this, but it doesn't take place of listening to

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Supernatural Saturday.

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Y'all God is downloading some massive truth bombs.

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I don't know if y'all have been listening, but man, even myself, I was listening on later

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on Saturday to the one that Jackie just did on gifts restored and back into alignment.

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We're going to be talking about this more and more and more as a community.

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When a gift is overextended, it becomes a liability.

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Jackie talks about that all the time.

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I'm so grateful to be learning from her still.

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Even though I work with her and we are friends, man, I just, I still get so much truth from

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the Lord through things that she's sharing and you all, one of my gifts, I actually just

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took the strength finders test recently and I, I score really high on responsibility.

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So guess what happens when that gets overextended?

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I start taking responsibility for everybody's stuff, even though it's not my job, if somebody's

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not doing it, I feel responsible for it.

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And so, yep, Lisa guessed it.

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Burnout city can happen.

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And so, you know, this is why it is important for us to rest.

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It's important for us to have our gifts in alignment.

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That's just one example.

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Obviously, Jackie gave you several other.

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Again, just please listen to those Supernatural Saturdays if you can.

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I know that there's a ton of content for those of you that are brand new in our community.

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And even those of you that have been here for a while,

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and you're just still having a hard time getting through the content,

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just know there's grace.

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So don't feel, you know, guilt or shame if you haven't listened to it yet.

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I'm just trying to let you know it is absolutely worth it.

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All right, so let me pray for us and get us started tonight.

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Father, thank you.

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Thank you that you are the God of restoration.

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You're the God of redemption.

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God, I thank you that you're the God of reconciliation.

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Yet you are in the midst of us tonight.

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I thank you, Holy Spirit, for coming and weaving in and out of tonight,

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that you would open the eyes of our hearts and open our ears

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to hear what your spirit is saying, God, that we would walk in step with you,

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that we would receive the revelation that is needed for us individually tonight.

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God, you know every one of these amazing women.

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You know their stories, the current stories, the backstories, all the trauma,

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everything that they've walked through.

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God, you know exactly what they need tonight.

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I pray that by the time I release the word out of my best ability to obey you, Lord,

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by the time it reaches their hearts, God, that it would bring freedom,

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that it would bring revelation, that it would bring breakthrough, God.

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We know that where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom and liberty for the captives.

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So we're asking you, God, for supernatural breakthroughs tonight.

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And we just thank you, God, for all that you have planned.

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Protect our hearts for every seed that's planted as well.

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In Jesus' name, amen.

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Y'all know that when the seed is planted,

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that soil scripture where it talks about the different types of soil

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and how sometimes the seed will start to pop up

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and then something will try to come and grab it out of there or scorch it.

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Well, that has a lot to do with the condition of our hearts as well

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when we receive the word, okay?

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And so, again, this isn't about shame or anything,

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but I'm just feeling led to encourage you all to really ask the Lord

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to cultivate your hearts and prepare your hearts

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before you even come on live sessions,

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before you watch the HeartWork videos,

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before you read the HeartWork book,

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because all of us have, you know, trauma that we've been through.

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We have lies that we believe as a result of those traumas

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that we're still all sifting through.

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And so sometimes when we even sit down to read the truth

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or hear the truth or join a prayer call,

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I can't tell you how many times people get offended.

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Offense is an opportunity for an upgrade.

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Jackie has been someone that's taught me that so well,

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not just because I've gotten offended, you all.

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I have.

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Even when we love people, people can say things that are offensive.

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But, like, God is like,

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hey, let me invite you into the truth of this

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versus you receiving the lie through this.

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And so I want to encourage you, if that's you,

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if you tend to get really offended easily,

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whether that's here in this community or outside the community,

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you would ask the Lord, okay,

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is there something you want me to know about this?

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You know, is there any of this that is not true that I need to discard?

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Is there any of this that is true that I need to pay attention to

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and grow through and really receive healing

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so that we don't continue to get tripped up with those things?

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All right, that has nothing to do with our content tonight.

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Those are just some things the Lord is dropping in my spirit

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just as I was praying for us.

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We're going to talk about submission tonight.

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Some of you all have been here for the session when I talk about submission.

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But as always, I encourage you to be open to hear something fresh.

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Because just like, you know, y'all, look, this is my hard work book.

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I'm no joke.

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I've tagged this thing up.

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I've re-read it so many times.

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And I learn something fresh all the time.

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So we can all receive fresh stuff over and over and over.

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So tonight we're talking and being reminded that God will not trespass.

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He's not going to trespass in your heart.

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So he must be permitted to enter.

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By who?

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Well, you.

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It's going to be you that's going to let him into your heart.

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He's going to be the one that's coming there.

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And I'll talk about the scripture in a little bit.

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But he's going to knock on the door of your heart.

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And he's waiting for you to give him permission to enter.

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God is a giver.

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And one of the most beautiful gifts he's ever given all of us,

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his sons and daughters, is the free will to choose.

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He gives us that ability to choose.

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He respects our boundaries.

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He's not going to force things on us.

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He's not going to come and pound the door down and force his way into our hearts.

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No, he's going to say, hey.

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daughter, I love you. This, this guy that you're dating, he's hurting you. And this is not my best

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for you. This is not my plan for you. One of the ways he said to me, he, I thought it was just

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myself, but later learned that it actually was the Lord. It was the Holy spirit telling me,

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this isn't your family, but I would sit with my spiritual daughter's dad. We would go and

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visit for the family and the guys, I just didn't enjoy hanging out with them. And so y'all I no

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joke. I am not even joking when I say this, I would just go like the kids would like be playing

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outside and I would go and sit. There was a couple of dogs at the house. I would sit with the dogs

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because I love dogs and the dogs are fun and they're loving and they're kind. And I would sit

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there so many times and think, man, this just doesn't feel like this fits. I really don't think

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I want this to be my family. And you know, so for whoever that's for, if you've had thoughts like

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that, when you're with someone that you dated on and off, or even have been dating, or you look

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back at situations, that is the Holy spirit saying, Hey, I have something better for you.

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I have something better for you. Submission tonight, what we're going to talk about in

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regards to submission, there's a couple things, but I want to talk a little bit about

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how some religious men and women have weaponized this word submission and portrayed their thoughts

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and their messages as from God himself. But they've actually been misrepresenting God to us,

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his heart to us, his truth to us regarding what submission actually means.

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And so as you're praying, even where you're at, I want to encourage you to pray and ask the Lord

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to reveal to you if there's religious mindsets and heart postures that you're currently living

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into that do not align with the truth of heaven.

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God, do you want to give me an upgrade in my understanding of submission, of your character,

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of who you are, of your plans for my life? Help me to receive your truth. Because here's the reality,

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some of these things, I'm not saying they all even mean to weaponize this word submission.

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I believe it's because they have a lack of revelation on the truth of it.

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But submission was never meant to be somebody lording authority over us and pushing us down.

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Now I'm using my thumb, but you know, some people are like, no, like, I don't want to hear what you

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have to say. When you're here, you don't get to speak. You need to sit at the table and be silent.

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And y'all, this isn't just when we're kids.

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Some of it, yeah, we grew up as kids and the saying was like, be seen, but not heard.

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Or even this afternoon, someone was giving a share. And one of the things they said was,

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their dad got all these flowers. And if you're on tonight, I'm not going to share your name,

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but I thought this story was so powerful. And I think it will help a lot of the other ladies as

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well. But they, their dad bought all these flowers and they were, they were younger,

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younger kid, and they were excited to try to help their dad. And so they, if I didn't

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misunderstand the story, they, they planted the flowers. They did something to try to help,

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but the dad didn't take it that way. The dad reacted and really a bigger,

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I would even say it's beyond a reaction. I borderline said it sounded slightly abusive.

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She said that she got spanked a lot. She didn't even just say I got spanked. She said,

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I got spanked a lot for doing that. She got spanked for planting flowers.

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So don't you think that's a misrepresentation of authority? Sure it is. Now I'm not,

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I'm not calling down fire and brimstone on her dad, because guess what? You all

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hurt people, hurt people. Okay. I'm not excusing that behavior either, but I'm giving that as an

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example because that was when she was younger. Now we see it showing up in today's world around

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dare I say boardroom tables and, and of, and meaning even in ministry and different

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environments and situations. We see it when people are dating. I had this guy I went on a

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date with at one point, not Brian, praise the Lord. My husband, this has nothing to do with

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him. It's just a totally different guy, but I think it really comes in. And this

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This is not like a very like overt,

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hey, submit to me kind of thing.

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But I remember, you'll start to notice this,

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I hope, and I believe this for y'all.

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You'll start to notice this ick feeling

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when something just isn't right.

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So I went out to dinner with this guy

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and we ordered our food and y'all, I ate what I wanted to,

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but I didn't eat everything on my plate.

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And the guy asked me, you're not gonna eat that?

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And I said, no, I'm full, I'm not going to eat that.

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And he kind of just looked at me,

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so then I could tell like it felt this tension.

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And so I was like, if you wanna eat it, you can eat it.

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And so he did eat the rest of the food,

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which whatever, that's fine.

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But here's the thing, I could tell that that bothered him

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that I did not eat all of that food.

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Back in the day, I would have never even said,

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no, I'm finished.

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I would have felt that tension

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and forced myself to eat that food

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because I felt displeasing to someone.

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Do you see how this works?

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So there's these underlying,

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sometimes the way people convey things

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that if we've been hurt in the past,

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or if we're people pleasers,

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or we struggle with that kind of having boundaries,

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we may interpret something from someone

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and then shift and do something to submit

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or to not make them unhappy.

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Do y'all see where I'm going with this?

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So we have to be really aware of this.

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Now, the flip side

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is we don't wanna be super rebellious either.

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I'm not gonna let anybody tell me what to do.

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No, God doesn't want us to go in that direction either.

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So we wanna ask the Lord

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to help us to live our lives in balance.

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And when we're with someone that's not healthy,

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that yes, hey, Lord, help me recognize

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those unhealthy patterns and behaviors

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in the people around me,

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but help me to walk out the healthy pathway

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even in the midst of them.

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Do you know that other people

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can be massively unhealthy around us,

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but we don't even have to flee the scene all the time.

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We can learn how to remain in God's peace,

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to abide in Him and allow Him to help us to rise above it,

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to change the way the dynamic impacts us.

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I'm learning this more and more and more

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with people in the church.

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We are learning so much.

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So I know that you all can learn it too.

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The Holy Spirit is the one who's gonna enable you

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and help all of us discern what God's truth is

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about submission more and more and more in the days to come.

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But we must be willing to allow God to heal us

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and reveal to us areas where we have misconceptions

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and belief systems, as I was talking about earlier,

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that are preventing us from living

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a healthy and amazing life.

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I'm seeing Sandra put something in the chat there.

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I wanna see what she's saying.

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Whenever I cannot finish food in front of someone,

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but the next day the leftovers are inhaled, okay.

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I know something is off with that relationship.

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Yes, I think those are absolutely things

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that we should pay attention to.

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Sometimes I think, you know,

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we're just so afraid that someone's not gonna like us

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or they're gonna think we're eating funny

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or just weird things get in our head.

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Ladies, it's real, okay.

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But if we feel that way,

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it's not always about the other person.

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Sometimes it is about us.

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Insecurities flaring up all over the place.

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So be sure to ask the Lord, is it about them?

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Is it because of them that I didn't eat this food

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or I felt uncomfortable or whatever?

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Maybe it's not food for you.

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Maybe it's you, you know, don't show up as your full self,

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whatever that is for you.

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But if it is also about something in you,

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God will reveal that.

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Let's keep going on this.

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Colossians 3.21, it says,

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fathers do not embitter your children

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or they will become discouraged.

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I love to put the King James Version in here as well.

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It's very similar, but I like the verbiage that it uses.

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It says, fathers provoke not your children to anger

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lest they be discouraged.

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Provoke here, literally in the Greek,

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it actually means to stir up, to excite, to stimulate,

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especially to anger, to provoke them.

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And ladies, you know, I also want to say here,

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let's be thinking about, you know,

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how you interact with your kids as well.

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If you have kids, really important.

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You know, I believe mothers more than ever,

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especially when they're operating in the divine masculine,

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embittering their children more and more and more in society today. We're seeing this total flip

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where women are so aggressive. Y'all, we see it. I'm not going to be political, but we're seeing it

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all over the news. I'm going to call it out. That is divine masculine functioning.

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We need to really be seeking God and asking him like, hey, is this how you would respond in this

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situation with your kids, with other people in the world around us? As I said, even in the church,

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you know, people are struggling and they're triggered and they're doing all kinds of stuff

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and saying stuff. And so we can go to their level and escalate and escalate with them,

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or we can say, hey, Lord, I know that what they're doing is not healthy. Help me to

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rise above that in perspective, not escalate with them, but rise above that with your perspective

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and handle this the way that you would handle it. And y'all, a lot of times, you know what that

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means? There are times that I definitely, as I said, even at that dinner, speak up for myself.

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But there are times that God is like, don't say anything. Just don't say anything.

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So we want to live at peace wherever it's possible for us. And so if you are someone that struggles

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with a lot of anger or a lot of just, you know, hatred on the inside towards yourself, towards

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other people, and maybe you haven't even labeled it that way. Maybe it's just this constant

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irritation. Like everybody just frustrates you. Ladies, let's be willing to look at where did that

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start? Where did that start in us? And if someone's treating you that way,

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if your parents treated you that way, like you were always a bother,

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I want to encourage you to ask the Lord to reveal when was the first time you felt like

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you were just always a bother to your father or your mother or grandparents. You know,

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it depends on who raised you. Maybe even teachers, you would try to approach the teacher's desk. The

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Holy Spirit just said, teachers do this too. I think we've got a lot of really amazing teachers.

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If you're a teacher on here, thank you for doing what you do. If you're a nurse, any service,

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any service, not just armed forces, but any service, individuals, nursing, all of that,

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thank you for how much you put up with to take care of children and families. I'm just so grateful

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for so many people that work in those roles. I know that it's getting harder and harder.

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And so we're going to see the opportunity for this stuff to keep escalating because the enemy

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is trying to stir all this stuff up. So that's why it's important for us as the body of Christ

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to allow God to heal us so that we can walk in freedom and healing and help other people there

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as well. All right. So we want to address those situations where we didn't have healthy experiences

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as I was referring to, even right there with our fathers, maybe it was your husbands, your exes,

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maybe it was men in authority over you. It could be women in authority over you. If you're someone

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that you just always struggle to be under women in leadership or with a big group of women like this,

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because another woman in your life has offended you and really deeply hurt you, not just offended,

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but like wounded you, or maybe you just struggled with your mom. You guys never got along. And so

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there was a lot of rebellion going on in your heart towards your mom. All those things are

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important for us to work through that so that it doesn't hold us back in our current dynamics today.

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So I want to encourage you all to forgive those people that were in authority over you for the

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unhealthy actions, words, treatment that they committed towards you. I'm going to give you

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another example that's coming up in my spirit. And when I say this, I have forgiven my former pastor

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and his wife. I love them. I've talked to them since all of this happened. And so I always want

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to preface that because there's so much bad talk about churches. And you know what? There's a lot

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of good stuff happening in churches. So it's important to talk about both. But years ago,

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when I was going through my divorce, well, even before the divorce, really, I went to my pastor's

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wife. And I was just really struggling and I needed help. And there was just a small group

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of us. There was like two or three ladies, maybe four, that were standing there. We were at a

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practice for this play that we were doing. And I was just really struggling that night. And I was

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telling her some of what was going on in my home. Y'all, now keep in mind, I was not the kind of

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person that was going around church talking bad about my husband. I actually didn't like when

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other women were doing that. Just gossiping is what I'm talking about. Gossiping.

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and putting their husbands down.

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But the only reason I shared what I did that night

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is because I was really like,

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I needed help and I didn't know what to do.

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And my pastor's wife scolded me that night

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for sharing openly in front of other people.

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And she was a really kind woman,

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so her scolding wasn't like yelling at me,

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but I felt very shamed, okay?

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And so I sought help elsewhere.

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And what was interesting is then

392
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when I sought help elsewhere, that was funny,

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then I got reprimanded for that

394
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and told how I needed to be careful

395
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because that organization was Jewish

396
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and it didn't have the Holy Spirit in it.

397
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And I'm like, wait a minute, I have the Holy Spirit in me.

398
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And I don't even believe what you're saying anyways.

399
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So I've met a lot of really amazing people

400
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that are of the Jewish denomination

401
00:25:59.720 --> 00:26:03.040
and there's a lot of good things in them

402
00:26:03.040 --> 00:26:05.220
and they can discern a lot of good things.

403
00:26:05.220 --> 00:26:09.100
And so anyways, I guess I'm just trying to say to you all,

404
00:26:09.100 --> 00:26:12.260
that was really hard because those were people

405
00:26:12.260 --> 00:26:14.820
that I felt were supposed to be a safe place.

406
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They were like my family, essentially.

407
00:26:17.420 --> 00:26:19.220
I spent a lot of time with them

408
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and I was going to them because I needed help.

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And when I didn't get the help with them,

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I went to where I felt like I could get help

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and then that wasn't allowed either, if you will.

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But I had to stand up for myself

413
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and allowed the Holy Spirit to enable me

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00:26:36.380 --> 00:26:38.780
to keep moving forward to get the help I needed.

415
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And God has led me on a very important

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healing journey since then.

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So when these people in authority are rising up,

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when they're saying things, doing things,

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remember that God is not like that.

420
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Remember that there's a lot of times

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these people are misrepresenting who he is,

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not just like his love towards us, but his character.

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So we wanna encourage you all to ask God

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00:27:06.900 --> 00:27:10.900
to help you grow in your understanding of his character

425
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because that is gonna be key.

426
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So who is God is love?

427
00:27:14.140 --> 00:27:15.900
Who is God is kind?

428
00:27:15.900 --> 00:27:17.580
Who is God is faithful?

429
00:27:17.580 --> 00:27:19.160
Who is God is good?

430
00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:20.600
Who is God is peace?

431
00:27:21.640 --> 00:27:25.060
And sometimes, I don't know if y'all ever feel like me,

432
00:27:25.060 --> 00:27:27.320
but sometimes if you've been saved for a while

433
00:27:27.320 --> 00:27:29.560
and you've read things over and over again,

434
00:27:29.560 --> 00:27:33.140
you can start to feel like, well, I know this.

435
00:27:34.040 --> 00:27:35.640
Well, I already know this.

436
00:27:35.640 --> 00:27:38.140
And I think even some of us were like,

437
00:27:38.140 --> 00:27:39.520
we have people that come in the heart work

438
00:27:39.520 --> 00:27:42.720
and they're like, I've heard all this before.

439
00:27:42.720 --> 00:27:44.320
I'm like, really?

440
00:27:45.240 --> 00:27:49.160
It might sound similar, but I just, I'm sorry.

441
00:27:49.160 --> 00:27:51.440
Not just because it's our program,

442
00:27:51.440 --> 00:27:53.400
but I go into other programs

443
00:27:53.400 --> 00:27:56.760
and they might have some similar threads,

444
00:27:56.760 --> 00:27:59.920
but if the people are different, how could it be the same?

445
00:28:01.120 --> 00:28:02.860
How could it be the same?

446
00:28:02.860 --> 00:28:05.580
It's just, in my mind, that's not possible.

447
00:28:05.580 --> 00:28:07.160
So we have to have teachable spirits.

448
00:28:07.160 --> 00:28:08.400
We have to be willing to learn.

449
00:28:08.400 --> 00:28:10.400
We have to be willing to say, okay,

450
00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:15.400
I don't see this the same way I did yesterday.

451
00:28:15.520 --> 00:28:16.760
I believe right now that God,

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00:28:16.760 --> 00:28:18.520
you can give me something fresh to see.

453
00:28:18.520 --> 00:28:20.440
I just heard a minister this past weekend.

454
00:28:20.440 --> 00:28:21.680
We had an event at our church

455
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:24.120
and he was teaching us about discipleship and stuff.

456
00:28:24.120 --> 00:28:26.040
And he said that there are some people

457
00:28:26.040 --> 00:28:30.040
that literally study one book of the Bible

458
00:28:30.040 --> 00:28:33.200
their entire lives.

459
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They devote themselves to studying.

460
00:28:35.520 --> 00:28:38.000
They read other books in the Bible, but they study it.

461
00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:39.120
They're theologians.

462
00:28:39.120 --> 00:28:41.120
They write commentaries on it.

463
00:28:41.120 --> 00:28:45.080
And I just was like sitting there thinking like, wow.

464
00:28:45.080 --> 00:28:48.640
Like sometimes I read this, I never get tired of the word.

465
00:28:48.640 --> 00:28:51.440
So I don't want it to sound like that, you all.

466
00:28:51.440 --> 00:28:53.720
But sometimes you do read something.

467
00:28:53.720 --> 00:28:56.040
I think that we start to get a little bit of pride in us

468
00:28:56.040 --> 00:28:58.040
and we think, oh, I've read this before.

469
00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:04.920
And he said he and his wife will, for an entire year,

470
00:29:04.920 --> 00:29:07.800
they decide what book they're gonna read together

471
00:29:08.600 --> 00:29:09.440
for that year.

472
00:29:09.440 --> 00:29:10.280
And they read other books too,

473
00:29:10.280 --> 00:29:12.720
but they really studied that book together

474
00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:13.760
for the whole year.

475
00:29:13.760 --> 00:29:17.400
And I thought, man, that is so cool.

476
00:29:17.400 --> 00:29:19.800
Maybe my husband and I will do that, I don't know.

477
00:29:19.800 --> 00:29:23.240
But I still thought it was really, really awesome.

478
00:29:23.240 --> 00:29:25.360
And what I felt like it taught me,

479
00:29:26.360 --> 00:29:29.720
and it really revealed something in me,

480
00:29:29.720 --> 00:29:32.720
that the enemy often tries to discourage us

481
00:29:32.720 --> 00:29:34.840
from going deeper in something.

482
00:29:35.840 --> 00:29:37.320
And I believe that he is the one

483
00:29:37.320 --> 00:29:39.800
that often will put thoughts in our head,

484
00:29:39.800 --> 00:29:43.280
like, you don't need to read that again.

485
00:29:43.280 --> 00:29:44.400
You already know that.

486
00:29:47.240 --> 00:29:48.560
You don't need to forgive them again.

487
00:29:48.560 --> 00:29:50.160
You've already forgiven them.

488
00:29:50.160 --> 00:29:52.040
Now, once we've forgiven, yes, of course,

489
00:29:52.040 --> 00:29:53.720
we release that person and set them free.

490
00:29:53.720 --> 00:29:58.480
But in this program, and just from what God has taught me,

491
00:29:58.480 --> 00:29:59.960
I genuinely,

492
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.520
Genuinely believe that healing happens in layers,

493
00:30:02.520 --> 00:30:04.520
forgiveness happens in layers.

494
00:30:04.520 --> 00:30:07.760
We can't forgive something we don't have revelation of.

495
00:30:07.760 --> 00:30:10.840
Yes, I believe that we at overarching,

496
00:30:10.840 --> 00:30:12.560
we're like, yes, I forgive,

497
00:30:12.560 --> 00:30:15.120
like I'll use my dad as an example.

498
00:30:15.120 --> 00:30:17.620
Dad, I forgive you for leaving us.

499
00:30:17.620 --> 00:30:20.500
I forgive you for never remembering my birthday.

500
00:30:20.500 --> 00:30:23.760
I forgive you for abandoning us

501
00:30:23.760 --> 00:30:26.440
and going and having another family on the side.

502
00:30:26.440 --> 00:30:29.520
Those were definitely things I forgave my dad

503
00:30:29.520 --> 00:30:32.640
for multiple times, but you know what?

504
00:30:32.640 --> 00:30:34.200
Underneath each one of those,

505
00:30:34.200 --> 00:30:36.080
there were other things that God would reveal

506
00:30:36.080 --> 00:30:39.860
along my journey that were connected to other things.

507
00:30:42.440 --> 00:30:44.400
It was very hard to understand that.

508
00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:45.440
Back in the day, I'd be like,

509
00:30:45.440 --> 00:30:48.160
why am I still struggling with this over and over?

510
00:30:48.160 --> 00:30:50.520
And I would like feel all this shame and guilt,

511
00:30:50.520 --> 00:30:53.200
like I hadn't done enough to forgive.

512
00:30:53.200 --> 00:30:57.200
Well, no, that's not true.

513
00:30:57.200 --> 00:31:00.520
You are every day receiving more information

514
00:31:00.520 --> 00:31:03.240
and you have more capacity, hopefully,

515
00:31:03.240 --> 00:31:05.080
to receive more truth and revelation.

516
00:31:05.080 --> 00:31:09.280
And so what you chose to forgive yesterday,

517
00:31:09.280 --> 00:31:12.420
a week ago, a month ago, a couple years ago,

518
00:31:12.420 --> 00:31:15.060
if God is bringing that back up in your spirit,

519
00:31:15.060 --> 00:31:20.060
now there's some new information he's trying to show you.

520
00:31:21.400 --> 00:31:23.920
I 100% believe that with all my heart.

521
00:31:23.920 --> 00:31:26.200
So this word submission,

522
00:31:26.200 --> 00:31:29.820
I wanna encourage you to wrestle with this a little bit.

523
00:31:29.820 --> 00:31:32.400
Really ask God if you have a problem.

524
00:31:32.400 --> 00:31:34.660
And some of you are like, no, I'm good with submission.

525
00:31:34.660 --> 00:31:35.640
And that's awesome.

526
00:31:35.640 --> 00:31:38.100
And I hope that is true, if that is your thought.

527
00:31:38.100 --> 00:31:42.560
But I really want you to be willing to ask yourself

528
00:31:42.560 --> 00:31:46.220
and ask the Lord, am I really good with this?

529
00:31:47.880 --> 00:31:51.400
Is there any struggle in me that shows up on any level

530
00:31:52.120 --> 00:31:56.160
regarding submitting to any kind of authority?

531
00:31:57.320 --> 00:31:59.240
The word submission actually means

532
00:31:59.240 --> 00:32:01.620
to yield to the power of another.

533
00:32:02.680 --> 00:32:04.440
Yield is letting go in the process.

534
00:32:04.440 --> 00:32:07.500
You're learning how to trust God.

535
00:32:07.500 --> 00:32:10.960
First and foremost, we're learning how to trust God

536
00:32:12.040 --> 00:32:15.560
with those people in that relationship, okay?

537
00:32:15.560 --> 00:32:18.920
You're not just trusting that person solely,

538
00:32:18.920 --> 00:32:21.360
you're trusting God and you're allowing God

539
00:32:22.200 --> 00:32:25.440
to enable you to submit and trust someone else.

540
00:32:25.440 --> 00:32:28.880
Now, obviously we don't want you to go around

541
00:32:28.880 --> 00:32:33.880
submitting in a relationship that is massively toxic, okay?

542
00:32:35.440 --> 00:32:36.760
There's a difference here.

543
00:32:36.760 --> 00:32:38.440
And I'm not saying don't have a good attitude,

544
00:32:38.440 --> 00:32:41.600
but if you're around someone and they're massively toxic,

545
00:32:41.600 --> 00:32:43.960
I would not encourage you just to go along

546
00:32:43.960 --> 00:32:46.460
with everything that they're encouraging you to do.

547
00:32:47.560 --> 00:32:49.960
But we wanna be willing to submit first and foremost,

548
00:32:49.960 --> 00:32:53.400
as I was saying, to God and his greater truth, okay?

549
00:32:53.400 --> 00:32:55.080
When we know the one we're submitting to,

550
00:32:55.080 --> 00:32:58.560
when we know God, when we know his character,

551
00:32:58.560 --> 00:33:02.580
y'all, we are more enabled to trust him.

552
00:33:03.760 --> 00:33:05.500
The more that I got to know Brian,

553
00:33:05.500 --> 00:33:09.660
and still even in marriage, we're four and a half years in.

554
00:33:09.660 --> 00:33:11.240
Is that right, y'all?

555
00:33:11.240 --> 00:33:13.260
22, yeah, yeah.

556
00:33:14.480 --> 00:33:17.440
When I'm getting to know him better and better

557
00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:19.800
and better and better and better all the time,

558
00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:23.480
even into marriage, several years and beyond,

559
00:33:24.360 --> 00:33:27.480
y'all, I trust him more now

560
00:33:27.480 --> 00:33:29.480
than I did even the day I married him,

561
00:33:30.360 --> 00:33:31.880
because he's a safe person.

562
00:33:33.360 --> 00:33:38.360
And I have grown to know that I can trust him.

563
00:33:38.360 --> 00:33:40.000
And the man that he said he was

564
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:41.720
is the man that he shows me that he is.

565
00:33:41.720 --> 00:33:44.560
And that helps me trust him even more.

566
00:33:44.560 --> 00:33:48.240
It's not just words, it's with actions, okay?

567
00:33:48.240 --> 00:33:50.800
God showed us his actions.

568
00:33:50.800 --> 00:33:52.480
God showed us his character,

569
00:33:52.480 --> 00:33:54.240
his words and his actions lined up.

570
00:33:54.240 --> 00:33:55.160
How?

571
00:33:55.160 --> 00:33:56.120
All through the Bible,

572
00:33:56.120 --> 00:33:57.560
but let's just look at the fact

573
00:33:57.560 --> 00:34:00.020
that he sent his one and only son.

574
00:34:02.740 --> 00:34:05.080
And he gave him up for us

575
00:34:06.040 --> 00:34:08.760
so that we could be in relationship with the son

576
00:34:08.760 --> 00:34:10.159
as the son is in relationship

577
00:34:10.159 --> 00:34:11.520
with the father and the Holy Spirit,

578
00:34:11.520 --> 00:34:14.239
so that we could be one with them,

579
00:34:14.239 --> 00:34:15.820
that we could be in relationship,

580
00:34:15.820 --> 00:34:18.199
that we could experience intimacy,

581
00:34:19.040 --> 00:34:19.880
that is divine.

582
00:34:21.679 --> 00:34:23.040
It's pretty incredible.

583
00:34:24.320 --> 00:34:25.920
So who are we submitting to?

584
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:27.440
God.

585
00:34:27.440 --> 00:34:31.040
The key is being rooted in his love

586
00:34:31.040 --> 00:34:33.159
and understanding his love towards us.

587
00:34:33.159 --> 00:34:37.980
And then out of the overflow of that love understanding,

588
00:34:37.980 --> 00:34:40.580
we can surrender, we can submit.

589
00:34:41.960 --> 00:34:45.300
Submission is not about someone dominating us,

590
00:34:45.300 --> 00:34:46.699
controlling us.

591
00:34:47.860 --> 00:34:50.219
And ladies, as I was talking earlier,

592
00:34:50.219 --> 00:34:52.340
it's also not about us controlling

593
00:34:52.340 --> 00:34:54.540
and dominating other people.

594
00:34:54.540 --> 00:34:57.139
My husband and I are partners.

595
00:34:57.139 --> 00:34:59.540
We work as a team, ladies.

596
00:34:59.540 --> 00:35:00.380
So guess.

597
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.000
But submission is a mutual respect

598
00:35:05.160 --> 00:35:08.600
and surrender towards each other.

599
00:35:08.600 --> 00:35:10.640
When you have two healthy people,

600
00:35:10.640 --> 00:35:14.640
you're coming together as a team, you choose.

601
00:35:14.640 --> 00:35:16.120
You have to continue to choose.

602
00:35:16.120 --> 00:35:18.880
It's not just when you get to the altar, ladies.

603
00:35:19.860 --> 00:35:21.080
Promise you this.

604
00:35:21.960 --> 00:35:25.560
Even after marriage, it's a choice to submit to each other.

605
00:35:26.560 --> 00:35:30.200
Brian and I are a team in ministry and life,

606
00:35:31.560 --> 00:35:34.580
in parenting and friendship.

607
00:35:36.080 --> 00:35:39.680
And we are learning how to mutually choose to respect

608
00:35:39.680 --> 00:35:42.980
and surrender to one another daily.

609
00:35:42.980 --> 00:35:45.720
Revelation 3.20 says, behold, I stand at the door and knock.

610
00:35:45.720 --> 00:35:48.320
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door,

611
00:35:48.320 --> 00:35:50.840
I will come in and eat with him and he with me.

612
00:35:50.840 --> 00:35:52.040
In your heart healing process,

613
00:35:52.040 --> 00:35:54.260
we want to encourage you to yield to God.

614
00:35:54.260 --> 00:35:56.580
And remember, again, he's not gonna force his way in.

615
00:35:56.580 --> 00:35:58.180
He's gonna stand at the door and knock.

616
00:35:58.180 --> 00:36:01.140
It's our choice to surrender and open the door.

617
00:36:01.140 --> 00:36:04.820
Remember that what we believe we become, ladies, okay?

618
00:36:04.820 --> 00:36:09.220
So if you believe that you can't trust God,

619
00:36:09.220 --> 00:36:11.700
you're gonna struggle to submit and surrender.

620
00:36:15.140 --> 00:36:18.100
Not only to God, but in relationship with a man.

621
00:36:19.260 --> 00:36:21.380
It is, it's gonna be evident.

622
00:36:21.380 --> 00:36:24.140
And the guys are gonna pick up on it.

623
00:36:24.980 --> 00:36:27.180
The unhealthy guys will get attracted to that.

624
00:36:28.220 --> 00:36:29.260
You'll be surprised.

625
00:36:31.260 --> 00:36:32.080
Yeah.

626
00:36:33.260 --> 00:36:34.340
I see you, Sandra.

627
00:36:34.340 --> 00:36:35.300
I know, girl.

628
00:36:36.780 --> 00:36:37.900
It's real.

629
00:36:37.900 --> 00:36:40.860
When we are not healed and we don't trust God

630
00:36:40.860 --> 00:36:42.940
and we have all these internal struggles,

631
00:36:44.420 --> 00:36:47.660
it attracts the unhealthy people to us.

632
00:36:47.660 --> 00:36:48.740
It really does.

633
00:36:48.740 --> 00:36:50.340
So we wanna just keep healing more and more.

634
00:36:50.340 --> 00:36:51.740
We don't have to be perfect.

635
00:36:51.740 --> 00:36:53.180
But here's the other thing.

636
00:36:53.180 --> 00:36:55.900
I said this afternoon to one of the ladies,

637
00:36:55.900 --> 00:36:58.140
when I was dating, even that example of that guy,

638
00:36:58.140 --> 00:37:00.620
that that wasn't super bad,

639
00:37:00.620 --> 00:37:03.300
but still it was like an ick feeling.

640
00:37:03.300 --> 00:37:06.580
But there were some other guys that I came across

641
00:37:06.580 --> 00:37:10.540
that were like, ooh, red flag, red flag, red flag,

642
00:37:10.540 --> 00:37:11.700
go the other direction.

643
00:37:12.940 --> 00:37:17.940
And back in the day, I wouldn't maybe have done that.

644
00:37:18.060 --> 00:37:19.660
I maybe would have just been like,

645
00:37:19.660 --> 00:37:22.380
well, maybe there's something good in there.

646
00:37:22.380 --> 00:37:25.100
Jackie was talking about those gifts overextended,

647
00:37:25.100 --> 00:37:27.860
always seeing the good in people, having faith.

648
00:37:27.860 --> 00:37:30.460
Y'all have a massive gift of faith.

649
00:37:30.460 --> 00:37:33.580
And that's part of what kept me in a six-year relationship

650
00:37:33.580 --> 00:37:35.780
with my spiritual daughter's dad,

651
00:37:35.780 --> 00:37:37.620
because guess who always had the faith

652
00:37:37.620 --> 00:37:39.780
to believe for him to change?

653
00:37:39.780 --> 00:37:40.660
This girl.

654
00:37:41.980 --> 00:37:45.620
But his actions, he was telling me the whole time

655
00:37:45.620 --> 00:37:48.460
who he was, the whole time.

656
00:37:49.420 --> 00:37:52.740
He showed me every single day who he was.

657
00:37:52.740 --> 00:37:56.020
He cheated over and over and over again.

658
00:37:56.020 --> 00:37:59.540
And I just kept believing that he could change.

659
00:37:59.540 --> 00:38:02.940
And it's not a bad thing to believe that people can change,

660
00:38:02.940 --> 00:38:05.140
but it doesn't mean I gotta date him.

661
00:38:05.140 --> 00:38:06.820
Praise the Lord I left that.

662
00:38:06.820 --> 00:38:07.660
Praise the Lord.

663
00:38:07.660 --> 00:38:10.220
If you're struggling with something like that,

664
00:38:10.220 --> 00:38:12.500
I just want you to know there's hope for you.

665
00:38:12.500 --> 00:38:14.900
If I can do it, if I can break free from that,

666
00:38:15.380 --> 00:38:19.260
you can break free from that too, for sure.

667
00:38:19.260 --> 00:38:20.260
For sure.

668
00:38:20.260 --> 00:38:21.460
All right, two more scriptures,

669
00:38:21.460 --> 00:38:23.220
and then we're gonna go into breakout sessions.

670
00:38:23.220 --> 00:38:26.780
Job 22, 21, from the NLT version.

671
00:38:27.820 --> 00:38:30.780
It says, submit to God and you will have peace.

672
00:38:30.780 --> 00:38:34.940
Then things will go well with you.

673
00:38:35.900 --> 00:38:39.420
Remember here, if you didn't know this, it's okay.

674
00:38:39.420 --> 00:38:41.580
But if you've already heard me say this before,

675
00:38:41.580 --> 00:38:43.700
that's why I'm saying remember.

676
00:38:43.700 --> 00:38:45.220
Remember that the word peace here,

677
00:38:45.220 --> 00:38:47.140
I'm gonna read the scripture to you again in a minute.

678
00:38:47.140 --> 00:38:49.380
This is what it actually means in the Hebrew.

679
00:38:50.460 --> 00:38:55.460
To be in a covenant of peace, to complete, to finish,

680
00:38:55.980 --> 00:39:00.380
to make whole or good, to restore.

681
00:39:00.380 --> 00:39:02.820
So God is saying, submit to God,

682
00:39:02.820 --> 00:39:03.860
or excuse me, in the scripture,

683
00:39:03.860 --> 00:39:07.900
it's saying submit to God and you will have peace.

684
00:39:07.900 --> 00:39:09.780
You will be restored.

685
00:39:09.780 --> 00:39:11.180
You will be made whole.

686
00:39:11.940 --> 00:39:14.100
I'm gonna give you a covenant of peace

687
00:39:14.100 --> 00:39:17.740
and then things will go well with you.

688
00:39:17.740 --> 00:39:22.260
That's Job 22, 21 in the NLT version.

689
00:39:22.260 --> 00:39:24.420
I'm gonna read Proverbs 3, verse five

690
00:39:24.420 --> 00:39:26.540
in the message translation as well.

691
00:39:26.540 --> 00:39:29.100
It says, trust God from the bottom of your heart.

692
00:39:30.100 --> 00:39:32.180
Don't try to figure out everything on your own.

693
00:39:32.180 --> 00:39:36.580
Listen for God's voice in everything that you do,

694
00:39:36.580 --> 00:39:38.380
everywhere that you go.

695
00:39:38.420 --> 00:39:41.820
He's the one who will keep you on track.

696
00:39:41.820 --> 00:39:45.460
Don't assume that you know it all.

697
00:39:45.460 --> 00:39:48.100
This is where, again, it's important for us every day

698
00:39:48.100 --> 00:39:51.620
to ask the Lord to give us a revelation that's fresh.

699
00:39:52.460 --> 00:39:54.740
Lord, help me to receive something new today.

700
00:39:54.740 --> 00:39:57.460
Help me to come out of alignment with anything

701
00:39:57.460 --> 00:40:00.180
that is deceiving me from the fullness.

702
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:06.160
of your plan for my life. Show me any blind spots, God, that I have, any filters that

703
00:40:06.160 --> 00:40:12.240
I'm hearing things through that cause me to see people in ways that that's not who they are.

704
00:40:14.720 --> 00:40:19.360
And that includes the Lord as well, ladies. Okay. All right. Before we go into breakout,

705
00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:24.160
I'm going to read. I love to read this over. You got you all the submission activation. Hopefully

706
00:40:24.160 --> 00:40:29.360
you all have printed this out. Even if you're brand new, if you haven't yet, please do that.

707
00:40:29.360 --> 00:40:36.320
That should be in your, um, welcome area. But if you want to just close your eyes, I love y'all

708
00:40:36.320 --> 00:40:41.360
have y'all, if you feel comfortable to close your eyes, of course, do whatever you want. But I feel

709
00:40:41.360 --> 00:40:45.920
like I hear the Lord and connect with him more when I close my eyes, put your hand on your heart.

710
00:40:47.200 --> 00:40:53.600
Father, God, I give you permission to search me and to reveal anything in my heart that does not

711
00:40:53.680 --> 00:41:00.080
belong to my true identity that is hindering me from living the life that you created me to live.

712
00:41:00.080 --> 00:41:04.080
Holy spirit. I invite you to come into the darkest places in my heart.

713
00:41:05.280 --> 00:41:09.840
Show me the areas that are still wounded and are still hurting. When you reveal these broken

714
00:41:09.840 --> 00:41:16.000
places to me, I covenant with you to release them into your care and to respond with forgiveness and

715
00:41:16.560 --> 00:41:21.840
repentance. I set aside the season of my life for a time of healing and wholeness

716
00:41:21.840 --> 00:41:27.440
and ask Holy spirit to take charge of this process. I ask that you dwell with me and in me.

717
00:41:27.440 --> 00:41:35.280
I need you. I cannot heal myself. I want to be free from the past, free to be who I truly

718
00:41:35.280 --> 00:41:41.040
am. Help me to become who you created me to be. Show me the lies that I believed about myself,

719
00:41:41.040 --> 00:41:48.000
my life, my surroundings, and even the lies I believed about you, God, teach me the greater

720
00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:55.360
truth. Teach me your ways. Teach me how to think and how to live abundantly. Teach me, show me,

721
00:41:55.360 --> 00:42:03.040
heal me, grow me. In Jesus name, amen, amen. All right, so we're getting ready to go into

722
00:42:03.040 --> 00:42:09.600
the breakout sessions. I want to encourage you all to talk to each other about this question.

723
00:42:09.600 --> 00:42:15.600
Do you struggle with submission and why? And if you don't struggle with submission, you can go

724
00:42:15.600 --> 00:42:20.000
ahead and share why you don't struggle with it. That's totally fine, but I want you all to have a

725
00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:25.760
conversation with each other about it. All right, let me get these breakout sessions ready. Just

726
00:42:25.760 --> 00:42:32.960
give me a few seconds here. Hopefully it won't take too long. All right, if you get into a breakout

727
00:42:32.960 --> 00:42:37.040
room and somebody doesn't show up, kind of hang out there. I'm going to do my best to move people

728
00:42:37.040 --> 00:42:43.680
as quickly as possible around if I need to, okay? All right, we're going to do six minutes.

729
00:42:45.920 --> 00:42:49.520
I just want to make sure, yeah, six minutes because there's two of you. So that should

730
00:42:49.520 --> 00:42:54.240
give both of you about three minutes to share, okay? All right, go ahead and click to join those

731
00:42:54.240 --> 00:43:04.080
as quickly as you can. Once I get everybody situated, for those that are working, you're

732
00:43:04.080 --> 00:43:17.120
going to stay here in this room. I will pray. All right, oh.

733
00:43:34.640 --> 00:43:40.320
All right. Father, thank you so much for this day. We thank you, Lord, for all that you're

734
00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:45.440
doing in our lives. We thank you, God, for freedom and the Holy Spirit. We thank you,

735
00:43:45.440 --> 00:43:52.160
God, for giving us a revelation of your truth. God, I thank you for, yeah, thanks, Lord, for

736
00:43:52.160 --> 00:43:58.400
your anointing upon our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our spirits, and our souls. I thank you

737
00:43:58.720 --> 00:44:04.560
upon our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our spirits, and our souls. I thank you, God,

738
00:44:04.560 --> 00:44:12.080
that you would come in. Yes, Lord, and just place the balm of Gilead upon every broken area of our

739
00:44:12.080 --> 00:44:19.120
hearts, our lives. God, that you would just cleanse us from all unrighteousness, any area

740
00:44:19.120 --> 00:44:25.040
that is not pleasing to you, any area that's still broken from trauma. God, the areas where

741
00:44:25.040 --> 00:44:29.840
the enemy, he just continues to try to speak through those areas of brokenness and the wounds

742
00:44:29.840 --> 00:44:36.320
of the past. God, I thank you for just the reminder of who you are as a good father who

743
00:44:36.320 --> 00:44:42.640
has good gifts for your children, that you love us as your daughters, and that you desire to lead us

744
00:44:42.640 --> 00:44:49.360
into the fullness of your plans and promises and purposes for us. Psalm 147, verse 3 and 4,

745
00:44:49.440 --> 00:44:51.760
this is in the Passion Translation, says this,

746
00:44:52.960 --> 00:44:59.760
he heals the wounds of every shattered heart. He sets his stars in place, calling them all

747
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.400
by their names." Man, isn't that good? Every area of our hearts that have been shattered,

748
00:45:06.400 --> 00:45:12.080
He heals it all. God, thank you that you, I just kind of see that picture. I remember

749
00:45:12.080 --> 00:45:17.520
years ago when I went through divorce, when I was in the middle of going through the divorce,

750
00:45:17.520 --> 00:45:22.800
I just remember thinking my whole life felt shattered. Like if you had taken a vase and

751
00:45:22.800 --> 00:45:28.320
just crushed it with something, I just felt like everything was scattered. And I remember

752
00:45:28.400 --> 00:45:33.840
God meeting me one night, I was in my car after work. I'd worked two jobs. I was exhausted. I

753
00:45:33.840 --> 00:45:39.840
remember breaking down and crying. I just was like, God, I don't understand. I did everything

754
00:45:39.840 --> 00:45:44.640
you asked me to do. And this is what I have to show for it. And I just felt so broken in that

755
00:45:44.640 --> 00:45:50.240
moment. And I remember God just kind of giving me this visual picture of like His loving hands.

756
00:45:50.240 --> 00:45:54.960
And He was just like, if I could kind of display this for you all that are here, as well as those

757
00:45:54.960 --> 00:45:59.120
that are going to watch this replay, I just felt like He was showing me like His loving hands,

758
00:45:59.120 --> 00:46:04.080
just gathering all those pieces. And He was just like showing me that He was like going to care

759
00:46:04.080 --> 00:46:08.880
for every one of those pieces and that every one of those pieces was not only going to be cared

760
00:46:08.880 --> 00:46:12.720
for, but He was talking to me a lot about restoration in that time. And you know,

761
00:46:12.720 --> 00:46:19.840
I couldn't have imagined it back then, the life that I have now. And I just, you know,

762
00:46:19.840 --> 00:46:27.360
think it's so important for us to remember that God will not, He will not fail us. He will not

763
00:46:27.360 --> 00:46:34.480
fail us. We must continue to pray and believe in His promises and just allow Him to, yeah,

764
00:46:34.480 --> 00:46:38.640
like the scripture talks about being transformed by the renewing of our minds, you know, all that

765
00:46:38.640 --> 00:46:43.840
old stuff can pass away and behold, everything can become new in Him. And we can receive those

766
00:46:43.840 --> 00:46:52.960
fresh revelations day after day after day. All right, let me read this one too. I feel like this

767
00:46:52.960 --> 00:46:58.480
goes in alignment with what I just was saying. Matthew 7, 24 through 25. This is also in the

768
00:46:58.480 --> 00:47:03.040
Passion Translation. It says, everyone who hears my teaching and applies it to his life

769
00:47:03.040 --> 00:47:09.040
can be compared to a wise man who built his house on an unshakable foundation.

770
00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:14.720
When the rain fell and the flood came with fierce winds beating upon his house, it stood firm

771
00:47:15.280 --> 00:47:21.040
because of its strong foundation. So when we build our hearts, we build our lives on the rock,

772
00:47:21.040 --> 00:47:27.840
on the Father, on the truth of who He is, that unshakable foundation, no matter what troubles

773
00:47:27.840 --> 00:47:34.080
come, no matter what might shatter us, if you will, like I was saying, that God will help us

774
00:47:34.240 --> 00:47:42.000
to endure those things and come out on the other side redeemed and just really amazing masterpiece.

775
00:47:42.640 --> 00:47:46.400
I don't know if you all have ever looked underneath of when someone's sewing a quilt,

776
00:47:46.400 --> 00:47:50.880
but when I was little, my grandma always did these quilts and sometimes I would lay down

777
00:47:50.880 --> 00:47:56.000
underneath of it while she would be sewing up on the top of it. And I can remember underneath,

778
00:47:56.000 --> 00:48:01.520
you see all the yarn, the thread, you know, because she's quilting the thread. I hope that's right.

779
00:48:01.520 --> 00:48:06.480
It's all kind of looks really messy underneath, but then on the top, there would be this really

780
00:48:06.480 --> 00:48:12.480
beautiful design that she was putting together. And so I think of that a lot. I feel like when we

781
00:48:12.480 --> 00:48:19.360
see the underbelly of things, it looks really messy, but when we trust the master craftsman,

782
00:48:19.360 --> 00:48:23.760
he's the potter, we're the clay, when we trust everything that he's doing,

783
00:48:24.320 --> 00:48:29.280
we will not be disappointed because he's making a masterpiece out of us and out of our lives.

784
00:48:30.160 --> 00:48:35.360
And that's when we continue to surrender those things and situations to him over and over and

785
00:48:35.360 --> 00:48:40.400
over again. All right. I'm going to read another scripture before the ladies come back here.

786
00:48:40.400 --> 00:48:46.320
Ephesians 3, 17 through 19 in the NLT version, it says, then Christ will make his home in your

787
00:48:46.320 --> 00:48:51.840
hearts. As you trust in him, your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong.

788
00:48:51.840 --> 00:48:57.920
And may you have the power to understand as all of God's people should. Sorry,

789
00:48:57.920 --> 00:49:04.320
I got to close these rooms. As all of God's people should. How wide, how long, how high,

790
00:49:04.320 --> 00:49:09.600
and how deep is his love? May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to

791
00:49:09.600 --> 00:49:16.720
understand fully, then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that

792
00:49:16.720 --> 00:49:25.280
comes from God. I love that part of that scripture where it says, and may you have the power to

793
00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:30.560
understand. So Lord, even as the ladies are finishing their conversations in these rooms,

794
00:49:30.560 --> 00:49:36.320
God, I thank you that you would give every one of us the power to understand God, who you are,

795
00:49:37.120 --> 00:49:41.840
the revelation again of your love, that we would become more rooted and grounded in that

796
00:49:41.840 --> 00:49:48.080
in Jesus name. Welcome back. So glad to see you again. Let me bring up my screen. I want to show

797
00:49:48.080 --> 00:49:54.320
you all the activation. If you've already done this activation, you do not need to do it again.

798
00:49:54.320 --> 00:49:59.840
I know that question comes up. And so we are doing the roots and fruits activation.

799
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.880
this week. I want to encourage you all, first and foremost, it's really important for you

800
00:50:04.880 --> 00:50:10.920
to not compare yourself to other people. Okay? Everybody agree to that? Can you agree to

801
00:50:10.920 --> 00:50:15.560
that for me? You're going to do what God shows you to do. I wanted to start off with this

802
00:50:15.560 --> 00:50:20.800
one first because sometimes I show the other ones and everybody's artistic in their own

803
00:50:20.800 --> 00:50:26.960
way, but I want you guys to know, you ladies to know, it can be very simple. The point

804
00:50:26.960 --> 00:50:34.280
of this activation and all activations is just that you do them in perfect action. That's

805
00:50:34.280 --> 00:50:42.160
what we're taking in perfect action. Can everyone just go ahead and say that with me in perfect

806
00:50:42.160 --> 00:50:46.600
action, I'm going to take imperfect action. Okay. And so you're going to have perfect

807
00:50:46.600 --> 00:50:50.900
action. That's right. That's right. Good job. You're going to ask the Lord to help you take

808
00:50:50.900 --> 00:50:56.760
imperfect action. So roots versus fruits. I want you all to pray and ask the Lord to

809
00:50:56.760 --> 00:51:05.200
show you the current roots you have in your life that are not serving you well. Okay.

810
00:51:05.200 --> 00:51:10.000
It's leading to unhealthy fruit. And then I want you to also ask him to show you the

811
00:51:10.000 --> 00:51:16.360
good roots and fruit. Okay? Because I want you all to practice seeing both. Some of y'all

812
00:51:16.360 --> 00:51:22.160
might have more unhealthy roots and fruit than healthy right now, and that's okay. That's

813
00:51:22.160 --> 00:51:25.860
why you're here. Praise the Lord. You're going to heal and you're going to learn and you're

814
00:51:25.860 --> 00:51:31.340
going to grow and you will be amazed at how much that will change in just a short time

815
00:51:31.340 --> 00:51:36.780
as you keep taking steps towards the Lord. So for example, this lady, you can see some

816
00:51:36.780 --> 00:51:43.820
of the things she put here. Fear of man went up to, I forget exactly. I have this in large

817
00:51:43.820 --> 00:51:51.340
so I, or maybe I cut that picture off, but it goes to other things. Let's see here. Unhealthy

818
00:51:51.340 --> 00:51:57.540
efficiency went up to distracted. So her root of unhealthy efficiency went up to the

819
00:51:57.540 --> 00:52:06.780
fruit of being distracted all the time. Let's see. Poverty mindset led to fear and selfishness.

820
00:52:06.780 --> 00:52:10.540
And there might be other things, but just giving you all some examples, the other branches

821
00:52:10.540 --> 00:52:17.060
that she has here are showing a little bit of leaves and a little bit of flowers. Those

822
00:52:17.140 --> 00:52:21.780
are her healthy roots and healthy fruits that are connected to each other. So I want to show

823
00:52:21.780 --> 00:52:26.740
you that. And then I'm going to kind of scroll up real quick. This one here is another one. I

824
00:52:26.740 --> 00:52:33.060
like to show this one just because if you can see on her roots here, continual learning growth

825
00:52:33.060 --> 00:52:39.380
mindset. So this is a healthy one. Okay. She's got some healthy ones here. Now here is fear of

826
00:52:39.380 --> 00:52:45.540
rejection. And then what she did, she felt, and this is where I want you all to pray and do this

827
00:52:45.540 --> 00:52:52.740
the way you feel led to do it. But she identified the lies that she believes or has believed that

828
00:52:52.740 --> 00:53:00.500
connect to that fear of rejection. So for example, the lie of you are inconvenient, hide out behind

829
00:53:00.500 --> 00:53:06.980
the scenes. I had a lady literally all, I hear this often, but I had a lady literally this weekend

830
00:53:06.980 --> 00:53:11.380
when we have this event in our church, she showed up, we had all these round tables set up in the

831
00:53:11.380 --> 00:53:17.220
front of the church. And, and then we had other rows of chairs. She sat all the way in the back,

832
00:53:17.220 --> 00:53:21.380
you all. So I walked up to her. She's a little bit newer to our church, but I've talked to her

833
00:53:21.380 --> 00:53:28.580
several times. And I said, Hey, do you want to come up and join us up at the tables? And she's like,

834
00:53:29.140 --> 00:53:36.900
uh, I'm like a wallflower. I don't, I don't want to have to be seen. And I said, Oh, that's okay.

835
00:53:37.540 --> 00:53:42.020
But you can come up to these tables and sit at the back of these tables. If that's what you're

836
00:53:42.020 --> 00:53:45.700
comfortable with. Cause of course I want her to be comfortable, but y'all, I want you to hear

837
00:53:45.700 --> 00:53:52.420
something. The enemy is really busy in our society right now, trying to convince people

838
00:53:53.300 --> 00:53:56.740
that they are wallflowers. That's what they're called to be. That's who they are.

839
00:53:57.300 --> 00:54:00.420
And that's where their comfort zone is. And so they should just stay there.

840
00:54:01.380 --> 00:54:07.140
Y'all I get it. People are scared and they're nervous. You know what that says to me at some

841
00:54:07.140 --> 00:54:16.900
point connection was broken for them. And because connection was broken for them somewhere,

842
00:54:16.900 --> 00:54:22.580
they believed a lie that they should just stay behind the scenes and not really be seen or heard.

843
00:54:24.340 --> 00:54:29.700
Y'all that's not what God has for us. Okay. All right. Another lie should put on here.

844
00:54:31.380 --> 00:54:39.060
Leftovers. She will only get the extras and the most you'll ever be is extended family. Y'all

845
00:54:39.060 --> 00:54:43.780
these are, these are massive things. And I think a lot of people in our community struggle with

846
00:54:43.780 --> 00:54:49.860
this stuff. Here's another lie. Fear of rejection led her to be shy. That kind of goes with the

847
00:54:49.860 --> 00:54:56.020
other thing too weird, quirky to be accepted, powerful stuff. So again, pray about this for

848
00:54:56.020 --> 00:54:59.860
yourself, but I wanted to show you just a couple. Here's a lady that's a teacher.

849
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.260
Again, just going to show you these really quickly so you can see some different personalities

850
00:55:04.260 --> 00:55:05.720
coming out here.

851
00:55:05.720 --> 00:55:07.440
This is one that's done on a computer.

852
00:55:07.440 --> 00:55:09.120
This is perfectly fine too.

853
00:55:09.120 --> 00:55:12.280
Again, ladies, this is about what works for you.

854
00:55:12.280 --> 00:55:14.400
It's about getting it on paper.

855
00:55:14.400 --> 00:55:18.360
So she had unhealthy boundaries, insecurity, fear.

856
00:55:18.360 --> 00:55:20.120
Those were the negative ones.

857
00:55:20.120 --> 00:55:23.240
And then you'll see up at the top that connect to those negative ones.

858
00:55:23.240 --> 00:55:26.640
Unhealthy relationships, loss of identity, feeling stuck.

859
00:55:26.640 --> 00:55:27.640
Great job.

860
00:55:27.640 --> 00:55:28.640
These are awesome.

861
00:55:28.640 --> 00:55:31.320
This is one done on a computer.

862
00:55:31.320 --> 00:55:34.800
And then this lady is an artist, so don't get super intimidated, but it's beautiful.

863
00:55:34.800 --> 00:55:39.600
I love to share it with y'all because she shows the contrast between the dark unhealthy

864
00:55:39.600 --> 00:55:42.640
fruit, the healthy fruit, that's the light colored.

865
00:55:42.640 --> 00:55:46.060
And I love that she pulled the Holy Spirit into this.

866
00:55:46.060 --> 00:55:47.120
So powerful.

867
00:55:47.120 --> 00:55:48.680
So let it be yours.

868
00:55:48.680 --> 00:55:52.520
But once you do it, we want you to post it in the group.

869
00:55:52.520 --> 00:55:53.520
We want to see it.

870
00:55:53.520 --> 00:55:54.960
We want to comment on it.

871
00:55:54.960 --> 00:55:56.800
We want to pray for you about it.

872
00:55:56.800 --> 00:56:00.720
And ladies, just know you're not posting it for us.

873
00:56:00.720 --> 00:56:02.240
You're posting it for yourself.

874
00:56:02.240 --> 00:56:03.240
Okay?

875
00:56:03.240 --> 00:56:05.760
That's who you're posting it for.

876
00:56:05.760 --> 00:56:09.240
And you will be surprised at even some of you, you'll post it and you'll start to get

877
00:56:09.240 --> 00:56:12.560
breakthrough after you come into community.

878
00:56:12.560 --> 00:56:14.280
Allow yourself to be seen.

879
00:56:14.280 --> 00:56:16.200
Allow yourself to be heard.

880
00:56:16.200 --> 00:56:17.840
Even your vulnerable places.

881
00:56:17.840 --> 00:56:24.560
Yes, ladies, I know that for some of you, that is massively scary.

882
00:56:25.240 --> 00:56:26.240
But guess what?

883
00:56:26.240 --> 00:56:29.360
That's why God sent you here.

884
00:56:29.360 --> 00:56:34.440
God knew that I was going to be on here tonight and our team was going to be on here all the

885
00:56:34.440 --> 00:56:37.720
time, encouraging you all to come in and share.

886
00:56:37.720 --> 00:56:43.040
That's that's a part of becoming a part of the community.

887
00:56:43.040 --> 00:56:46.840
Into me, see intimacy.

888
00:56:46.840 --> 00:56:48.920
Hey, we love you.

889
00:56:48.920 --> 00:56:53.080
We're going to, we're going to cheer you on and support you and coach you to the best

890
00:56:53.080 --> 00:56:54.080
of our ability.

891
00:56:54.080 --> 00:56:55.080
All right.

892
00:56:55.080 --> 00:56:56.080
All right.

893
00:56:56.080 --> 00:56:57.080
So we have an half.

894
00:56:57.080 --> 00:57:00.320
We have a half an hour for coaching for group coaching.

895
00:57:00.320 --> 00:57:01.320
And so I'm going to start.

896
00:57:01.320 --> 00:57:03.040
I think I saw Wendy's hand go up first.

897
00:57:03.040 --> 00:57:05.840
And so ladies try to keep your shares short, brief and powerful.

898
00:57:05.840 --> 00:57:08.340
And I'll try to do the same on my coaching too.

899
00:57:08.340 --> 00:57:12.080
So we get as many people through tonight and a half an hour as we can.

900
00:57:12.080 --> 00:57:15.080
Okay, Wendy, go ahead.

901
00:57:15.080 --> 00:57:21.080
Oh, you're muted.

902
00:57:21.080 --> 00:57:28.080
Okay, I unmuted.

903
00:57:28.080 --> 00:57:29.080
Okay.

904
00:57:29.080 --> 00:57:30.560
I have a problem with submitting to God.

905
00:57:30.560 --> 00:57:36.480
And I think it all stemmed from right after I became saved, I became the happiest kid.

906
00:57:36.480 --> 00:57:42.240
I wasn't so I was a sad kid because my mom was a rageaholic and embarrassed me all the

907
00:57:42.240 --> 00:57:43.240
time.

908
00:57:43.240 --> 00:57:46.760
She would go out in the front yard and scream and scream in the backyard, scream and scream

909
00:57:46.760 --> 00:57:48.960
and neighbors would hear and stuff.

910
00:57:48.960 --> 00:57:50.280
And then I have to deal with it at school.

911
00:57:50.480 --> 00:57:54.020
And so once I became saved, I was free, I knew I was going to heaven.

912
00:57:54.020 --> 00:57:59.560
And so I was the happiest kid and I was living with me where my parents had sort of separated

913
00:57:59.560 --> 00:58:02.520
and I was just a happy kid.

914
00:58:02.520 --> 00:58:09.160
And then after a while, my dad started molesting me after that.

915
00:58:09.160 --> 00:58:15.400
And I guess I and then I became more introspective after that, because I knew I couldn't share

916
00:58:15.400 --> 00:58:24.680
what I was going through with any of my classmates or anything like that because of embarrassment.

917
00:58:24.680 --> 00:58:28.240
I'm so sorry to hear that your dad molested you when you were younger.

918
00:58:28.240 --> 00:58:32.640
I think that's the first time I've heard you share that, Wendy, in our in our group session.

919
00:58:32.640 --> 00:58:34.760
Thank you for trusting us with that.

920
00:58:34.760 --> 00:58:35.760
Um,

921
00:58:35.760 --> 00:58:38.520
well, I was I was older when it happened.

922
00:58:38.520 --> 00:58:41.200
I was like, 1314 when it started.

923
00:58:41.200 --> 00:58:42.440
So I mean, you're still young.

924
00:58:42.440 --> 00:58:44.320
Yeah, you were younger than

925
00:58:45.320 --> 00:58:51.680
I'm so do you feel like well, let me ask you this it this way.

926
00:58:51.680 --> 00:58:56.360
Why do you feel like and I can guess the answer, but I want you to tell me so that's why I'm

927
00:58:56.360 --> 00:58:57.360
asking.

928
00:58:57.360 --> 00:58:58.360
Okay.

929
00:58:58.360 --> 00:59:04.760
Why do you feel like you struggled to trust God after that?

930
00:59:04.760 --> 00:59:07.360
Is it have happened right after it became saved?

931
00:59:07.360 --> 00:59:09.760
I used to go to church by myself.

932
00:59:09.760 --> 00:59:10.960
Okay.

933
00:59:10.960 --> 00:59:14.920
Do you believe the truth that people have free will?

934
00:59:14.920 --> 00:59:15.920
Yes.

935
00:59:15.920 --> 00:59:16.920
Okay.

936
00:59:16.920 --> 00:59:20.520
Do you believe that God in his great love for us?

937
00:59:20.520 --> 00:59:22.760
He gives everybody free will?

938
00:59:22.760 --> 00:59:23.760
Yes.

939
00:59:23.760 --> 00:59:24.760
Okay.

940
00:59:24.760 --> 00:59:32.760
So if God in his great love for all of us gives everybody free will, then and I, I,

941
00:59:32.760 --> 00:59:36.480
I blamed God to when I when I processed all of my views.

942
00:59:36.480 --> 00:59:38.640
So I want you to hear that as well.

943
00:59:38.640 --> 00:59:41.920
But I just want to help you process this out.

944
00:59:41.920 --> 00:59:47.680
If God in his great love gives all of us free will, why would we blame God for something

945
00:59:47.680 --> 00:59:53.480
that man does to us?

946
00:59:53.480 --> 00:59:55.080
I've been working through that.

947
00:59:55.080 --> 00:59:56.760
Yes, I do trust God.

948
00:59:56.760 --> 01:00:00.040
I just have sometimes problems with a little bit of submissions.

949
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.840
Yeah. And it's very normal. And that's why I wanted to say to you that I process this

950
01:00:05.840 --> 01:00:11.540
stuff out a lot too, and it does take time. But in the submitting, remember, it goes back

951
01:00:11.540 --> 01:00:18.040
to, which you just said it, goes back to that we actually struggle to trust God. And if

952
01:00:18.040 --> 01:00:24.380
you want to go a layer deeper, a lot of times when we struggle to trust God, it's that we

953
01:00:24.380 --> 01:00:35.060
believe the lie that he actually doesn't love us to some degree. Because a lot of times,

954
01:00:35.060 --> 01:00:40.540
especially people that are abused or have been abused on any level, there's, there's

955
01:00:40.540 --> 01:00:49.120
some aspect that we struggle with that says, if God loved you, why didn't he keep that

956
01:00:49.120 --> 01:00:55.520
from happening? Okay. And so I'm just going to call the elephant out because that's what

957
01:00:55.520 --> 01:01:00.440
a lot of people struggle with. And I think it's super important that as you continue

958
01:01:00.440 --> 01:01:08.320
to go to the Lord, that not only asking him to help you learn how to submit out of his,

959
01:01:08.320 --> 01:01:12.920
out of the love relationship that you have with him. But I think the underlying there

960
01:01:12.920 --> 01:01:18.840
is God helped me to grow in the understanding of your love for me more every day. That's,

961
01:01:18.840 --> 01:01:25.320
that's genuinely something I prayed over and over and over again, every day, literally.

962
01:01:25.320 --> 01:01:32.440
This was back, I'm going to say like maybe probably 2017, where I really started honing

963
01:01:32.440 --> 01:01:37.760
in on, on God helped me to understand you more as love every day. Lord helped me to,

964
01:01:37.760 --> 01:01:44.640
to grow in the understanding of that. I am enough in you that you make me secure. And

965
01:01:44.640 --> 01:01:51.720
the more that I grew in the revelation of his love for me, the more I was able to surrender

966
01:01:51.720 --> 01:02:01.400
and submit. And honestly, I'm just going to say this too. I think sometimes when it is

967
01:02:01.400 --> 01:02:07.040
a choice to submit, but sometimes I think when we just feel forced to submit, it's not

968
01:02:07.040 --> 01:02:12.240
genuine out of that love place. And so then it just falls apart because remember behavior

969
01:02:12.240 --> 01:02:18.680
modification isn't what God is looking for. He's not trying to get us just to be good

970
01:02:18.680 --> 01:02:27.120
or just submit. He's like, no, fall in love with me, get to know me as love. And out of

971
01:02:27.120 --> 01:02:34.800
the overflow of that, I'm going to enable you to be able to submit and surrender. And

972
01:02:34.800 --> 01:02:40.720
so there's aspects of our hearts where we need more. I'll call it this way, but if I

973
01:02:40.760 --> 01:02:44.600
say the word invasion, y'all, I don't want you to think of it in a negative way, but let

974
01:02:44.600 --> 01:02:53.200
his love permeate and invade every literal, like every crevice of our heart. Right before

975
01:02:53.200 --> 01:02:56.200
when y'all were in that breakout room, I don't, I don't know if I'll be able to find it

976
01:02:56.200 --> 01:03:02.120
now, but, um, oh yeah. When, when I was reading the submission prayer, thank you Lord for

977
01:03:02.120 --> 01:03:08.120
helping me remember the line in there that says, Holy spirit, I invite you into the

978
01:03:08.280 --> 01:03:17.400
darkest places in my heart. Well, the reality is, is we all have some of those crevices,

979
01:03:17.400 --> 01:03:23.080
don't we? Where the love just still isn't all the way in there yet. And it's not our

980
01:03:23.080 --> 01:03:26.520
fault. It's because we've been through things that taught us something differently.

981
01:03:26.520 --> 01:03:32.360
And then we put up walls. And so we want, we want to keep asking God to come into every

982
01:03:32.360 --> 01:03:38.120
facet of who we are and help us have a revelation of him, of his kindness. You probably,

983
01:03:38.120 --> 01:03:41.960
because of what you went through with your mom as a rageaholic as well, your dad abusing

984
01:03:41.960 --> 01:03:48.200
you. I would also say that you just coming into a fresh revelation of who is God as, as

985
01:03:48.200 --> 01:03:57.400
good, you know, a good father. Um, I, I read a lot of books over the years about, um, you

986
01:03:57.400 --> 01:04:04.120
know, God in his, like the father heart of God, you know, that father, that loving side of him.

987
01:04:04.760 --> 01:04:08.600
And I really meditated a lot on that. So I would encourage you to do that as well. Wendy,

988
01:04:08.600 --> 01:04:13.480
I know that you already do this, but as you continue to go, that you would just keep soaking

989
01:04:13.480 --> 01:04:18.600
in that truth. And I believe that's going to help you be able to submit to him more and more.

990
01:04:18.600 --> 01:04:22.200
And I just want to say, I don't know if you got your hair done, but it looks really nice. I like

991
01:04:22.200 --> 01:04:29.800
that color. Um, is it different or is it just different lighting? I just, um, I just, I guess

992
01:04:29.800 --> 01:04:35.000
it's just the lighting here is different. I'm in a different room in the house. I like that lighting

993
01:04:35.000 --> 01:04:40.040
and I like the way that I can see you tonight. So I appreciate it. Thanks. You're welcome. It's

994
01:04:40.040 --> 01:04:47.240
different lighting. So that's why I love it. All right. Awesome. You're welcome. Yash, go ahead.

995
01:04:47.960 --> 01:04:54.040
Uh, hi, Bethany. So I'll make it quick. Um, so I was speaking to Shweta as well in terms of

996
01:04:54.040 --> 01:05:05.480
submission, uh, the question that you gave. Uh, so Shweta, um, I'm not sure if you can hear me.

997
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.280
something that God revealed to me was that I have this anger if I feel that

998
01:05:05.480 --> 01:05:12.280
Um, I'm not sure if you can hear me. Um, I'm not sure if you can hear me. Um,

999
01:05:06.280 --> 01:05:11.680
someone is attacking me physically I want to hit them back and even I feel

1000
01:05:11.680 --> 01:05:17.000
that if one of my friends for an example I heard one of my really close friends

1001
01:05:17.000 --> 01:05:21.420
you know that she was telling me about how her husband hit her some time ago

1002
01:05:21.420 --> 01:05:26.360
and I kind of want to hit him back and I thought okay this is weird and where is

1003
01:05:26.360 --> 01:05:32.720
this coming from and then today a lot showed me when I was about seven or

1004
01:05:32.720 --> 01:05:37.600
eight I remember that heated argument with my in between my parents to this

1005
01:05:37.600 --> 01:05:44.360
day very vividly so I remember my my dad is usually a calm person but he's

1006
01:05:44.360 --> 01:05:48.660
expressive but he's never hit me he's never hit his wife he's not a person who

1007
01:05:48.660 --> 01:05:54.920
hits but I remember that time that he he was actually in that heated argument he

1008
01:05:54.920 --> 01:06:00.800
raised his hand like this to express himself and my mom thought that he was

1009
01:06:00.800 --> 01:06:07.480
gonna hit her and she went on attacking him with hands right like you know are

1010
01:06:07.480 --> 01:06:12.200
you gonna hit me like you know kind of I felt that was very disproportionate to

1011
01:06:12.200 --> 01:06:17.760
what he was doing and then as a kid I was very frantic worried traumatized

1012
01:06:17.760 --> 01:06:22.400
because I was the only child I'm the only child in the family so I went be

1013
01:06:22.400 --> 01:06:27.640
like between them and I tried to like pull them apart right and I think that

1014
01:06:27.640 --> 01:06:33.840
kind of stuck with me that I thought you know I need to kind of self-protect

1015
01:06:33.840 --> 01:06:40.680
myself kind of thing that you know and that anger so and I was I was praying

1016
01:06:40.680 --> 01:06:45.520
about it and I asked God like why was my mom reacted that way so she was raised

1017
01:06:45.520 --> 01:06:50.560
with a very strict father so punishment was like even if they do the slightest

1018
01:06:50.560 --> 01:06:54.760
thing like you know they'll get walked or like punishment was kind of you know

1019
01:06:54.760 --> 01:07:00.000
a BA you sing in their life so I thought probably maybe that so if you have any

1020
01:07:00.000 --> 01:07:06.480
helpful tips for me to get out of this I mean I would really appreciate it yeah

1021
01:07:06.480 --> 01:07:11.600
thank you for sharing first so interestingly enough we had a similar

1022
01:07:11.600 --> 01:07:17.880
thing come up this afternoon and let me just look at my notes here because I

1023
01:07:17.880 --> 01:07:22.000
feel like it's gonna be very similar it's not the same but I feel like

1024
01:07:22.000 --> 01:07:26.480
there's a lot of similarities here she was saying that she just would feel very

1025
01:07:26.480 --> 01:07:30.920
defensive quickly now that your situation sounds a little different but

1026
01:07:30.920 --> 01:07:39.200
I want to remind all of you that anger is hurts bodyguard okay so when anger

1027
01:07:39.200 --> 01:07:46.880
shows up as the protector we have to ask ourselves why what's the root of the

1028
01:07:46.880 --> 01:07:53.200
anger what's really going on here so you said if you feel like someone is

1029
01:07:53.200 --> 01:07:58.080
attacking you you you want to get them back so let's just you talked about mom

1030
01:07:58.080 --> 01:08:01.760
and dad I feel like because that came up you've shared about your mom and dad

1031
01:08:01.760 --> 01:08:05.600
before and I don't think I've ever heard you share that story and so I want to

1032
01:08:05.600 --> 01:08:08.800
encourage you go ahead and process a forgiveness prayer sheet regarding that

1033
01:08:08.800 --> 01:08:13.240
situation with your mom and dad because of the fact that you jumped in the

1034
01:08:13.240 --> 01:08:18.120
middle to try it like you were scared to try to stop what you thought was

1035
01:08:18.120 --> 01:08:22.120
happening and I would encourage you as you're processing that to ask the Lord

1036
01:08:22.120 --> 01:08:27.279
to show you the truth in that situation too even though as an adult you figured

1037
01:08:27.279 --> 01:08:32.399
out how to interpret that your mom overreacted but the little girl you is

1038
01:08:32.399 --> 01:08:38.760
still telling you a different story on the inside okay and so that's part of

1039
01:08:38.760 --> 01:08:44.520
what's causing these reactions in you now that that defensive protectiveness

1040
01:08:44.520 --> 01:08:49.840
but also asking the Lord when anger is showing up what are the lies you're

1041
01:08:49.840 --> 01:08:55.080
hearing at that time okay so give me another example of if someone is

1042
01:08:55.080 --> 01:09:00.279
attacking you like do you have a recent example of that happening

1043
01:09:00.279 --> 01:09:08.840
attacking me no but attacking others others yes the recent example was my my

1044
01:09:08.840 --> 01:09:14.200
dear friend she was telling me about how her husband hit her and I was like okay

1045
01:09:14.200 --> 01:09:19.520
I wanted to hit him back for that and I'm like that's really weird I mean you

1046
01:09:19.520 --> 01:09:27.200
know that's unhealthy it's not even me so it's just that well okay let's let's

1047
01:09:27.200 --> 01:09:35.240
just talk about this for a second ladies don't we all have flesh right we

1048
01:09:35.240 --> 01:09:42.080
all have flesh I'm not saying that God wants us to hit someone okay we should

1049
01:09:42.080 --> 01:09:47.240
not act out on our thoughts and our feelings especially in those ways but

1050
01:09:47.240 --> 01:09:52.720
let's just talk about the flip side of this for a second do you think that it

1051
01:09:52.720 --> 01:10:01.920
breaks God's heart that your friend got hit by her husband yeah do you

1052
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:10.640
think that God feels angry about that? Yeah. So do you think that you feeling angry about that

1053
01:10:10.640 --> 01:10:19.920
is automatically a bad thing? Yeah, I don't think it's a bad thing. I think the bad thing I felt was

1054
01:10:19.920 --> 01:10:26.240
my reaction to it. Yes. Yeah. That's the part that yes, we do need to look at that. But I,

1055
01:10:26.240 --> 01:10:33.520
I felt like for everybody's benefit, I think we automatically assume if we have a negative

1056
01:10:33.520 --> 01:10:42.960
emotion that that's bad. And I want to make sure that we're asking God, okay, is this emotion

1057
01:10:44.720 --> 01:10:51.520
appropriate for this situation? Not that we need to act out on it. Just like I was telling you

1058
01:10:51.520 --> 01:10:59.520
guys about the situation in the church. We can't, Brian and I are called to not react and act the

1059
01:10:59.520 --> 01:11:06.640
same way other people do. Okay. We had people trying to lie and say something a couple of weeks

1060
01:11:06.640 --> 01:11:11.280
ago. The enemy's just trying to stir up all kinds of trouble. You know, the enemy's busy, but so is

1061
01:11:11.280 --> 01:11:17.520
God. God's on the move and he's doing things to praise the Lord. And so God, this guy went on

1062
01:11:17.520 --> 01:11:21.280
Facebook and he was saying stuff there and he showed up in church and he's saying stuff that

1063
01:11:21.280 --> 01:11:26.880
wasn't true. It just like literally you all like literally making stuff up.

1064
01:11:29.280 --> 01:11:38.640
And I was, I was, when I saw his Facebook post, I was angry because he was lying and then he was

1065
01:11:38.640 --> 01:11:45.840
going public with it. Right? Okay. The reality is, is not that many people saw it. That's the reality.

1066
01:11:46.800 --> 01:11:53.040
But when I allowed myself to just feel that, okay, but then I gave that over to the Lord

1067
01:11:54.400 --> 01:11:58.880
because guess who is our defender? God is my defender.

1068
01:12:01.840 --> 01:12:06.240
The people that needed to know the truth already knew it. They already knew what was going on with

1069
01:12:06.240 --> 01:12:12.080
that couple. That couple was really toxic and we were having to hold them lovingly accountable for

1070
01:12:12.080 --> 01:12:18.240
some things they were doing. They, the enemy through them was trying to retaliate.

1071
01:12:19.920 --> 01:12:26.320
Okay. So I'm saying all that to say, Yash, yes, I would encourage you to ask the Lord,

1072
01:12:26.320 --> 01:12:35.520
where is that reaction coming from? But I also want you to be okay with the fact that sometimes

1073
01:12:35.520 --> 01:12:42.640
you're going to feel a righteous anger. Okay. It's just that we don't always need to act out

1074
01:12:42.640 --> 01:12:48.240
on it. And sometimes God is going to call you not to go and hit someone. Of course,

1075
01:12:48.240 --> 01:12:53.280
I really don't want y'all doing that, but he might, he might lead you to go and stand up for

1076
01:12:53.280 --> 01:13:00.800
someone. Y'all. I met this woman and this has been years ago. Now I came out of an abusive marriage

1077
01:13:00.800 --> 01:13:08.960
out of an abusive home growing up. I was at the time working as a hairstylist and I came across

1078
01:13:08.960 --> 01:13:18.320
a woman there that her husband was beating her. And I felt very angry about that.

1079
01:13:20.640 --> 01:13:27.040
So what did I do? I got to know her. I loved on her. And then when the time was right, I asked

1080
01:13:27.040 --> 01:13:33.600
her if she wanted help getting out of there. And so when she said yes to that, I went to her house

1081
01:13:33.600 --> 01:13:39.600
and I helped her pack up and I helped her leave that guy. It was her choice whether or not she

1082
01:13:39.600 --> 01:13:46.960
wanted to divorce him, but I wanted her to be in a safe home. That was the goal for me. Okay.

1083
01:13:46.960 --> 01:13:51.920
I'm not telling you to necessarily do that with your friend. I'm just saying to you that that,

1084
01:13:51.920 --> 01:13:59.760
that righteous anger that I felt led me to pray and ask God, what, like, what can I do about it?

1085
01:13:59.760 --> 01:14:05.200
Like I can pray, but is there anything in the physical that you want me to do? And he led me

1086
01:14:05.200 --> 01:14:13.440
to encourage her, not push her, not shove her to move out, but to invite her to find a safe place

1087
01:14:13.440 --> 01:14:21.680
and that I would help her do it. So pray about what God's trying to show you through that. I do

1088
01:14:21.680 --> 01:14:26.240
think he wants to heal the situation with your mom and your dad and that dynamic. And I feel

1089
01:14:26.240 --> 01:14:32.480
like he's using this thing with your friend to highlight that, but also again, balancing

1090
01:14:32.480 --> 01:14:39.040
and not feeling guilty for having feelings that are actually, you know, it's good to feel angry

1091
01:14:39.040 --> 01:14:45.520
when someone's getting hurt and have passion about that. Yeah. All right. Thank you. You're welcome.

1092
01:14:46.240 --> 01:14:47.920
Thanks for sharing. Leslie, go ahead.

1093
01:14:53.920 --> 01:14:59.760
Hi. Hi. Hi. So I am.

1094
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:09.080
still stuck. I'm sure God doesn't want me seeking the attention that I'm getting right

1095
01:15:09.080 --> 01:15:15.440
now from a male. Um, and I'm having a really hard time walking away from that.

1096
01:15:15.440 --> 01:15:20.520
Okay. Remind me, Leslie, are you still in heart work or did you move on to phase two

1097
01:15:20.520 --> 01:15:25.080
and you're coming back for heart work session? No, I'm still in heart work. I haven't moved

1098
01:15:25.080 --> 01:15:30.680
on, but moving on might help with the situation. Um, well, have you finished the heart work

1099
01:15:30.680 --> 01:15:37.960
course? I mean, I don't know if I've done all of the stuff I've been in it for a long

1100
01:15:37.960 --> 01:15:43.040
time. Well, that's okay. Being in it a long time doesn't mean we necessarily finish the

1101
01:15:43.040 --> 01:15:46.960
heart work. So we want to finish the heart work. And what that means to me is you guys

1102
01:15:46.960 --> 01:15:53.640
have videos to watch. You have your book to read. You have homework assignments come into

1103
01:15:53.640 --> 01:16:01.360
live sessions and then the activations that we get. All right. And so, yep. And the reason

1104
01:16:01.360 --> 01:16:05.640
I was asking you that first is because we do have some people that are in phase two

1105
01:16:05.640 --> 01:16:10.760
that come back just for heart work as well, even though they are in phase two and they

1106
01:16:10.760 --> 01:16:16.560
are starting to date. So I wanted to know where you were at with that. Um, as you know,

1107
01:16:16.560 --> 01:16:22.120
in phase one, we encourage you all not to date as me. Is this a guy that you were already

1108
01:16:22.120 --> 01:16:28.840
kind of entangled with before you came into the heart work? No. And I'm not dating him,

1109
01:16:28.840 --> 01:16:40.840
but, um, there's just a lot of attention that I'm getting from him because I run in his

1110
01:16:40.840 --> 01:16:49.840
circles playing pickleball, like almost on a daily basis. So, okay. So how is, how is

1111
01:16:49.840 --> 01:17:00.000
the attention coming? Well, um, he thinks he's in love with me. Well, I'm saying like,

1112
01:17:00.000 --> 01:17:08.320
are you guys talking on the phone? Are you talking on the phone? Um, and go to dances

1113
01:17:08.320 --> 01:17:14.720
together. That kind of thing. You guys are kind of dating. I guess it kind of looks like

1114
01:17:15.440 --> 01:17:20.320
dating without calling it that that's what's happening right now. Okay. He hasn't officially

1115
01:17:20.320 --> 01:17:27.040
asked you on a date. Well, he did. And I said, no. Okay. But you guys are, are kind of acting

1116
01:17:27.040 --> 01:17:30.480
like you're in a really, like you're behaving like you're in a relationship is what I'm trying

1117
01:17:30.480 --> 01:17:38.800
to say. So what I would say to you as your coach lovingly is I would say, Leslie, if you want to

1118
01:17:38.800 --> 01:17:43.520
get the most out of this heart work, you've got to cut that off. And a lot of times, ladies,

1119
01:17:43.520 --> 01:17:48.880
what you don't understand is the enemy will send people to you to distract you,

1120
01:17:50.960 --> 01:17:56.560
to distract you from receiving everything that God has for you in the heart work, because it

1121
01:17:56.560 --> 01:18:01.920
can actually delay your breakthroughs. And I don't want to scare you all, but I can't tell you how

1122
01:18:01.920 --> 01:18:07.920
many people will date during the heart work. And they'll go all the way through. They'll still date

1123
01:18:07.920 --> 01:18:14.080
even in phase two, but because they started dating in phase one, many people have come back

1124
01:18:14.640 --> 01:18:24.320
even a year or two later. Okay. And so I would encourage you to break off conversation with this

1125
01:18:24.320 --> 01:18:30.720
guy, to stop talking on the phone with him, to stop texting him. You can do that by saying,

1126
01:18:31.280 --> 01:18:41.040
I'm in this program. That's really important. And I need to focus on that at this season of my life.

1127
01:18:42.480 --> 01:18:49.440
Okay. Because here's the thing too. He might be a really nice man, Leslie. Okay. But,

1128
01:18:50.800 --> 01:18:55.440
and you might find that when you finish the heart work and move into the dating phase,

1129
01:18:56.400 --> 01:19:00.560
that maybe you will choose to date him or talk to him at that point.

1130
01:19:01.520 --> 01:19:07.920
But what's happening and can happen is when you're not allowing yourself time to heal,

1131
01:19:08.560 --> 01:19:14.560
you're still viewing things through filters. Okay. And blind spots. And then a lot of times

1132
01:19:14.560 --> 01:19:23.120
what happens is what we call situationships. So that's what I would categorize this as right now.

1133
01:19:23.360 --> 01:19:29.920
Okay. And even if it's only a few weeks, a month or two, how long has this thing going on?

1134
01:19:34.400 --> 01:19:40.720
I want to say a couple months. Okay. Maybe. Yeah. And so here, here's,

1135
01:19:42.320 --> 01:19:46.160
and just so you know, you're not in trouble. I think it's important for everybody knows she's

1136
01:19:46.160 --> 01:19:52.960
not in trouble, but I am going to lovingly, really strongly encourage you to set boundaries here,

1137
01:19:52.960 --> 01:19:58.080
because you're in a situationship and, and you're really giving a part of your

1138
01:19:58.080 --> 01:19:59.840
yourself and your heart to the sky are.

1139
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:10.520
ready and he hasn't earned it. Okay. And you deserve to wait so that when you step into

1140
01:20:10.520 --> 01:20:17.660
it, you'll be fully ready. Okay. So let me ask you this, cause I think this is an important

1141
01:20:17.660 --> 01:20:25.320
conversation to have for a little bit tonight for everybody's sake. What draws you to have

1142
01:20:25.320 --> 01:20:32.600
these conversations with him? Is there a tension you're getting that feels good? Yeah. Okay.

1143
01:20:32.600 --> 01:20:50.520
Tell me about that. Uh, like what is it feeding in you? I'm feeling desired, I guess. Like,

1144
01:20:50.520 --> 01:20:58.080
I don't know. It's, it's, I know it's not right. Cause he's not a healthy guy, but the

1145
01:20:58.080 --> 01:21:05.840
attention's intoxicating. Okay. So now you're telling us he's not healthy. Hey, what makes

1146
01:21:05.840 --> 01:21:15.620
him not healthy? Um, uh, he's more recently out of a 45 year marriage and he has a lot

1147
01:21:15.620 --> 01:21:23.780
of healing that needs to happen. He's just an angry person and I can't do angry. Okay.

1148
01:21:23.780 --> 01:21:32.100
So do you like talking to this guy and feeling desired? No, I do. Yeah. He's a good conversationalist.

1149
01:21:32.100 --> 01:21:39.540
Okay. But he's angry. I mean, I've seen little tiny windows. I can't, I have like a lot of

1150
01:21:39.540 --> 01:21:45.940
anger trauma from my past. So if I see it in any capacity, you know, it's much larger than

1151
01:21:45.940 --> 01:21:51.300
what you're seeing. You know, I don't, he doesn't get angry with me. Well, he's on his best behavior

1152
01:21:51.300 --> 01:21:57.860
right now. Oh, sure. Right. Yeah. He's got the mask on. Yeah. Okay. So I want you to be careful

1153
01:21:57.860 --> 01:22:04.340
here because what I also hear you doing is saying, well, I tend to get triggered by this. So

1154
01:22:04.340 --> 01:22:09.140
I think it's just, you know, he showed a little bit of anger and I'm making it bigger than it is.

1155
01:22:09.140 --> 01:22:16.500
Well, is that true? Or do you have discernment as well here? That's kicking in.

1156
01:22:18.260 --> 01:22:22.900
It's definitely discernment because everyone around him sees the same thing. It's not just me.

1157
01:22:23.460 --> 01:22:30.580
Okay. I feel like you're, you're saying he's unhealthy, he's angry, but then you're like,

1158
01:22:30.580 --> 01:22:35.780
well, wait, no, he he's, he's good. And he's, do you see what's happening there for you? You're

1159
01:22:35.780 --> 01:22:40.900
trying to like, this is what we do. I did it too. Back in the day with the girl's dad, I would,

1160
01:22:40.900 --> 01:22:45.700
any, any negative thing I would like say to somebody, as soon as they would start talking

1161
01:22:45.700 --> 01:22:51.940
to me about, yeah, you probably need to like cut that off. I would like make excuses for him.

1162
01:22:53.700 --> 01:22:58.260
It's even worse for me. I don't make excuses and I tell him, no, I can't date you. You're

1163
01:22:58.260 --> 01:23:03.300
too intense. You have a rough exterior. You have anger issues, but I like the attention you give

1164
01:23:03.300 --> 01:23:07.620
me. That's the truth right there. Okay. So you got to get to the root of that. That's why I

1165
01:23:07.620 --> 01:23:13.540
highlighted that in what we're talking about, because deep inside, there is a hole in your heart.

1166
01:23:14.180 --> 01:23:18.340
We all have them. I'm not just saying, Leslie's got a hole in her heart that can't get fixed.

1167
01:23:18.340 --> 01:23:23.620
I don't want people to hear what I'm not saying, but there's a hole in there that needs filled by

1168
01:23:23.620 --> 01:23:30.660
God. And if you try to fill it with this man or any other man at this time, it's going to,

1169
01:23:30.660 --> 01:23:35.140
it's really going to throw you off. It's going to throw you off. You're not going to get everything

1170
01:23:35.140 --> 01:23:41.940
you need from the Lord and you need him to fill that void. And that void probably came from

1171
01:23:41.940 --> 01:23:46.980
neglect and things when you were younger that still need some healing. And I know that you

1172
01:23:46.980 --> 01:23:52.660
and I've chatted a little bit about some of those things, but in, in particular, you know,

1173
01:23:52.660 --> 01:23:58.500
any abandonment that you felt along the way, any neglect, that's going to be a sore spot.

1174
01:23:58.500 --> 01:24:04.740
And so here comes this guy desiring you, you, he's a good conversationalist, but you're telling me

1175
01:24:04.740 --> 01:24:11.700
he's not healthy. And so God has really great plans for you, Leslie. And I would say this to

1176
01:24:11.700 --> 01:24:21.300
anyone. Okay. I'm trying to save you from what I did that wasn't healthy. And it led me down a very,

1177
01:24:21.300 --> 01:24:31.140
very painful path. Okay. You don't want to go there. I'm telling you, you don't want to go

1178
01:24:31.140 --> 01:24:39.220
there. So asking the Lord to reveal to you the root of what is causing you to go past boundaries

1179
01:24:39.220 --> 01:24:46.580
that you know, you shouldn't go past. Okay. And then to give you the courage to break off

1180
01:24:46.580 --> 01:24:52.020
communication via phone and via text. Am I saying you can't go do the group things where he's there?

1181
01:24:52.020 --> 01:24:56.980
No, I'm not saying that you may, you may feel led to do that at some point too. I don't know,

1182
01:24:56.980 --> 01:24:59.780
but for right now, let's work on not talking.

1183
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.160
the phone to him anymore and not texting him anymore. Now I'm not your parent. I can't police

1184
01:25:06.160 --> 01:25:13.520
you. This is between you and the Lord. But all I can do as your coach is say for your benefit

1185
01:25:14.160 --> 01:25:19.360
and your heartwork process, Leslie, you said you've been talking to this guy a couple months.

1186
01:25:19.360 --> 01:25:21.600
Do you know that you could be done with heartwork by now?

1187
01:25:23.440 --> 01:25:26.560
Think about the time that you're spending talking to this guy on the phone

1188
01:25:27.520 --> 01:25:31.280
and you could be doing, and I'm not shaming you. I'm just, I'm just saying,

1189
01:25:31.280 --> 01:25:34.400
we have to look at this stuff. The enemy is distracting you.

1190
01:25:36.240 --> 01:25:42.400
Okay. So give yourself what you deserve and you deserve the time to work on your heartwork

1191
01:25:42.400 --> 01:25:46.880
so that you can be healed and sore and attract a really healthy guy

1192
01:25:47.600 --> 01:25:52.320
who doesn't have anger problems, who doesn't have the baggage of a 45 marriage that he hasn't

1193
01:25:52.320 --> 01:26:00.400
worked through yet. All right. Yeah. Does that sound like a good plan? That sounds very good.

1194
01:26:00.400 --> 01:26:07.680
Thank you. Okay. So here for accountability reasons, again, not your mom, but I would love

1195
01:26:07.680 --> 01:26:14.480
for you to come into the group and tell us how this goes when you break, when you set it and I,

1196
01:26:14.480 --> 01:26:18.960
so that you don't feel this pain about it. I just want you to think of it as setting a healthy

1197
01:26:18.960 --> 01:26:28.640
boundary to invest in loving yourself really, really well. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I'm in the group

1198
01:26:28.640 --> 01:26:33.840
and tell us how this goes. Okay. Even if you have to say, I know I need to, you told me,

1199
01:26:33.840 --> 01:26:39.200
but I'm really still struggling. Just be honest. We're going to do our best to keep encouraging you

1200
01:26:39.760 --> 01:26:44.480
and try to see you through this. Okay. Okay. Thank you. All right. You're welcome.

1201
01:26:44.480 --> 01:26:46.320
Thanks for sharing. Roseanne, go ahead.

1202
01:26:49.200 --> 01:27:00.400
Hi, Bethany. Welcome back. Thanks. I actually, so I've been, I should be done by now, but I'm not.

1203
01:27:02.400 --> 01:27:08.080
And so I kind of started over in my material because I got stuck and had some things,

1204
01:27:08.080 --> 01:27:13.840
health issues come up. And so I started over and I got, I actually was working on last night,

1205
01:27:13.840 --> 01:27:20.000
chapter five, that's the heart womb. And it asks you in there, what are some of the areas of your

1206
01:27:20.000 --> 01:27:24.960
life you think are problem areas? What are the fruits of these problem areas? And so I had

1207
01:27:24.960 --> 01:27:28.800
already written, you know, some things when I went through it before, but I was just kind of looking

1208
01:27:28.800 --> 01:27:36.560
at it again last night. And because it's been mentioned here before, I know you've talked

1209
01:27:36.560 --> 01:27:45.920
about it and maybe Jackie, I just, I am a quiet person. And I know you've talked about it a lot

1210
01:27:45.920 --> 01:27:55.120
as maybe that's not the real you. And so I was kind of looking at that last night and I don't

1211
01:27:55.120 --> 01:28:00.320
know if I have a complete understanding. I mean, I was like, can you talk a little bit more about

1212
01:28:00.320 --> 01:28:10.080
that? But like, okay. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. I was just going to say, well, let me say this.

1213
01:28:10.080 --> 01:28:17.360
We all have different personalities. Okay. So some people are more introverted or like

1214
01:28:17.360 --> 01:28:20.960
Amberverts where they're extroverted and introverted and there's extroverted people.

1215
01:28:20.960 --> 01:28:25.760
And so there are different personalities and there are different ways that we show up in the world.

1216
01:28:25.760 --> 01:28:35.200
But if there's something that's like convincing us that we are shy, that we're meant to be a

1217
01:28:35.200 --> 01:28:42.160
wallflower, that we are meant to just always be in the background, whether it's something we like

1218
01:28:42.160 --> 01:28:48.400
actually know in our heads, we're having these thoughts or it's causing us to behave in those

1219
01:28:48.400 --> 01:28:56.320
ways. There's a difference between being more quiet in our demeanor and the way we communicate

1220
01:28:57.760 --> 01:29:05.360
versus shy and not showing up in the world. Does that make sense? It makes sense. It makes sense.

1221
01:29:05.360 --> 01:29:12.320
I'm just not sure which category I fall into. That's all right. Because several years ago,

1222
01:29:12.320 --> 01:29:18.880
I went through a different group thing with a bunch of people. And that was one of the things

1223
01:29:18.880 --> 01:29:27.360
that we talked about. And because I've always said I'm shy. But one of the girls said, well,

1224
01:29:27.360 --> 01:29:33.520
I don't know that I would say that you're shy. And so I kind of evaluated myself, I guess. And

1225
01:29:34.240 --> 01:29:47.040
I identified shy as connected to shame and quiet. Like, I see shy as you have something to say,

1226
01:29:47.040 --> 01:29:52.320
but you won't say it for whatever, you know, you don't feel valued. You don't feel like what you

1227
01:29:52.320 --> 01:29:58.880
have to say is good enough or whatever. And then quiet as when you have something to say, you say

1228
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.000
and not out of any kind of fear or anything.

1229
01:30:07.140 --> 01:30:10.180
And I would say that there are times

1230
01:30:10.180 --> 01:30:13.140
when I have things to say that I do say them,

1231
01:30:13.140 --> 01:30:15.820
but particularly I was thinking about it

1232
01:30:15.820 --> 01:30:20.260
when I was waiting, you know, like at work sometimes,

1233
01:30:20.260 --> 01:30:24.780
and discussions kind of get circular

1234
01:30:24.780 --> 01:30:27.460
of bringing up a problem,

1235
01:30:27.460 --> 01:30:30.180
talking about what we can do to solve it,

1236
01:30:30.180 --> 01:30:33.180
and then never coming to any resolution.

1237
01:30:33.180 --> 01:30:38.180
And that is, to me, it's wasted energy and time.

1238
01:30:39.260 --> 01:30:40.940
And I don't, you know, it's like,

1239
01:30:40.940 --> 01:30:44.360
I don't want to invest in that kind of a conversation,

1240
01:30:44.360 --> 01:30:46.060
you know, so.

1241
01:30:46.060 --> 01:30:46.900
And that's okay.

1242
01:30:46.900 --> 01:30:49.900
I mean, there's times where I definitely,

1243
01:30:49.900 --> 01:30:52.300
if I'm in a conversation with someone,

1244
01:30:54.140 --> 01:30:56.400
if I feel like it's starting to go in a circle

1245
01:30:56.400 --> 01:30:57.680
and it's not going anywhere,

1246
01:30:57.680 --> 01:31:02.300
I will either try to lovingly redirect that

1247
01:31:02.300 --> 01:31:05.040
and change the subject to shift out of that

1248
01:31:05.040 --> 01:31:07.040
so that I can then before long

1249
01:31:07.040 --> 01:31:09.740
ease out of that conversation with that person.

1250
01:31:10.600 --> 01:31:13.200
So there are times where I feel like that's just wisdom.

1251
01:31:13.200 --> 01:31:16.200
Like if there's a conversation that isn't healthy

1252
01:31:16.200 --> 01:31:18.520
or it's not productive,

1253
01:31:18.520 --> 01:31:21.000
I don't know that God wants us to waste energy on that.

1254
01:31:21.000 --> 01:31:23.880
But you said something interesting as you were sharing.

1255
01:31:23.880 --> 01:31:24.720
Okay.

1256
01:31:24.720 --> 01:31:27.560
You said, I've always said I'm shy.

1257
01:31:28.520 --> 01:31:31.240
Now, after that person in your small group said,

1258
01:31:31.240 --> 01:31:34.080
hey, I don't think you're shy.

1259
01:31:34.080 --> 01:31:35.800
Do you still say that you're shy?

1260
01:31:35.800 --> 01:31:37.760
Or did you stop saying you were shy

1261
01:31:37.760 --> 01:31:39.920
after you had the revelation of like,

1262
01:31:39.920 --> 01:31:42.400
oh, maybe I'm not shy.

1263
01:31:42.400 --> 01:31:45.360
Yeah, I stopped saying I was shy.

1264
01:31:45.360 --> 01:31:46.200
Okay.

1265
01:31:46.200 --> 01:31:48.800
And I, cause I saw the difference

1266
01:31:48.800 --> 01:31:51.160
in being shy versus quiet.

1267
01:31:51.160 --> 01:31:52.940
You know, I didn't always know

1268
01:31:52.980 --> 01:31:54.780
that there was a difference, you know,

1269
01:31:54.780 --> 01:31:58.340
and I did, you know, in my growing up years,

1270
01:31:58.340 --> 01:32:02.540
I, which I think I've shared about her before.

1271
01:32:02.540 --> 01:32:04.460
I have a sister, we grew up,

1272
01:32:04.460 --> 01:32:06.340
I mean, I'm one of five, but she's eight,

1273
01:32:06.340 --> 01:32:07.460
we're 18 months apart.

1274
01:32:07.460 --> 01:32:11.580
So we were really close and she's very gregarious

1275
01:32:11.580 --> 01:32:15.180
and a chatty Cathy in her personality.

1276
01:32:15.180 --> 01:32:18.860
And so I do think that impacted,

1277
01:32:18.860 --> 01:32:21.200
shaped, you know, my personality.

1278
01:32:21.520 --> 01:32:26.520
And I don't know that, I mean, maybe she did,

1279
01:32:27.080 --> 01:32:28.320
I don't know, I don't remember,

1280
01:32:28.320 --> 01:32:30.960
I don't have specific remembrances or instances

1281
01:32:30.960 --> 01:32:34.880
where I think she talked for me, you know,

1282
01:32:34.880 --> 01:32:38.280
but I do know, you know, that like,

1283
01:32:38.280 --> 01:32:41.400
because I didn't start driving,

1284
01:32:41.400 --> 01:32:45.400
I didn't like sit for my license until after I was 17,

1285
01:32:45.400 --> 01:32:46.680
just because I was with her

1286
01:32:46.680 --> 01:32:48.480
and she was driving all the time.

1287
01:32:48.480 --> 01:32:49.320
You know, so.

1288
01:32:49.320 --> 01:32:51.520
Yeah, I think some of that is normal.

1289
01:32:51.520 --> 01:32:52.460
Yeah.

1290
01:32:52.460 --> 01:32:55.560
But I have, okay, a couple of things.

1291
01:32:55.560 --> 01:32:58.200
I really would love for you to pray about,

1292
01:33:03.000 --> 01:33:04.880
are there any things,

1293
01:33:04.880 --> 01:33:06.720
I'm giving you a homework assignment, okay?

1294
01:33:06.720 --> 01:33:07.760
Okay, okay.

1295
01:33:07.760 --> 01:33:11.640
Are there any things that God would have you to do

1296
01:33:12.900 --> 01:33:15.120
to get you out of your comfort zone

1297
01:33:15.120 --> 01:33:17.460
in the next three months?

1298
01:33:18.680 --> 01:33:21.000
I'm way out of my comfort zone right now.

1299
01:33:21.000 --> 01:33:24.680
Okay, well, this is a good start, this is a good start.

1300
01:33:24.680 --> 01:33:25.520
And here's why,

1301
01:33:25.520 --> 01:33:30.520
because I think what I am sensing

1302
01:33:31.280 --> 01:33:33.520
is that there is like,

1303
01:33:33.520 --> 01:33:36.360
God's trying to draw you out a little bit more.

1304
01:33:36.360 --> 01:33:38.640
I think that yeah, it can be tough

1305
01:33:38.640 --> 01:33:40.920
when you have a sibling that's a little more,

1306
01:33:40.920 --> 01:33:42.840
you know, boisterous and all the things

1307
01:33:42.840 --> 01:33:46.440
and you're kind of up under their shadow a little bit.

1308
01:33:46.440 --> 01:33:51.120
But I feel like there were some aspects of yourself

1309
01:33:51.120 --> 01:33:55.920
that you kind of turned down, toned down, if you will,

1310
01:33:55.920 --> 01:33:59.360
which turned you into shy and quiet,

1311
01:33:59.360 --> 01:34:03.640
but that God wanted to always develop that in you.

1312
01:34:03.640 --> 01:34:08.640
It wasn't God's intention for you to tone down, if you will.

1313
01:34:09.840 --> 01:34:11.960
And I think the only way you're gonna discover

1314
01:34:11.960 --> 01:34:14.560
these aspects of yourself, Roseanne,

1315
01:34:14.560 --> 01:34:19.560
is to do things that you may have always wanted to do,

1316
01:34:20.720 --> 01:34:23.460
but maybe said, I'm too shy.

1317
01:34:25.520 --> 01:34:26.680
Does that make sense?

1318
01:34:26.680 --> 01:34:27.520
It makes sense.

1319
01:34:27.520 --> 01:34:28.520
That's why I want you to pray about it

1320
01:34:28.520 --> 01:34:31.600
because it's not so much sit down and make a list.

1321
01:34:31.600 --> 01:34:33.520
I want you to ask the Lord,

1322
01:34:33.520 --> 01:34:37.360
Lord, have there been any things throughout my life

1323
01:34:37.360 --> 01:34:40.680
that I wanted to do or wanted to try

1324
01:34:40.680 --> 01:34:44.160
that I convinced myself I couldn't do it?

1325
01:34:44.760 --> 01:34:46.240
I was too shy to do it.

1326
01:34:46.240 --> 01:34:50.840
Anything like that, make a list of those things

1327
01:34:50.840 --> 01:34:53.400
and then start doing them.

1328
01:34:55.520 --> 01:34:58.240
And I don't know if this is gonna resonate for you,

1329
01:34:58.240 --> 01:34:59.840
but I just saw someone in my,

1330
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:06.640
spirit, an image of you in my spirit, taking a microphone and singing karaoke.

1331
01:35:06.880 --> 01:35:11.040
So I don't know if you've ever thought about doing that and never done it.

1332
01:35:11.080 --> 01:35:12.160
Have you ever karaoke'd?

1333
01:35:12.680 --> 01:35:13.120
I have.

1334
01:35:13.760 --> 01:35:15.040
Do you like to karaoke?

1335
01:35:15.880 --> 01:35:19.040
It's not something I do all the time, but I did it at an act, you know, at a

1336
01:35:19.520 --> 01:35:21.760
singles gathering one time we did karaoke.

1337
01:35:21.800 --> 01:35:22.520
So, okay.

1338
01:35:23.080 --> 01:35:25.760
Did you feel alive and fun?

1339
01:35:26.720 --> 01:35:27.840
I felt like it was fun.

1340
01:35:28.840 --> 01:35:32.440
I mean, I like, I like to sing, but I don't know if I'd get up there by myself.

1341
01:35:32.440 --> 01:35:34.080
I was up there with a group of people, but.

1342
01:35:34.720 --> 01:35:35.240
All right.

1343
01:35:35.680 --> 01:35:38.120
So I think there's something to this thread.

1344
01:35:39.680 --> 01:35:43.680
I think that the things that cause you to feel like you're coming alive, that's

1345
01:35:43.680 --> 01:35:45.400
where God wants you to go more.

1346
01:35:46.640 --> 01:35:47.080
Okay.

1347
01:35:47.680 --> 01:35:55.760
And then the last thing I was going to say to you is, um, to really be praying

1348
01:35:55.800 --> 01:36:00.920
into, um, when those discussions go circular, just asking God to like,

1349
01:36:00.920 --> 01:36:04.880
confirm, is this a conversation that, you know, Lord, did you want me to end that?

1350
01:36:04.880 --> 01:36:08.920
Or did you want me to say something and speak up more?

1351
01:36:09.400 --> 01:36:09.800
Okay.

1352
01:36:10.040 --> 01:36:10.440
Okay.

1353
01:36:11.960 --> 01:36:12.640
Really good.

1354
01:36:13.320 --> 01:36:13.960
Thank you.

1355
01:36:14.160 --> 01:36:14.680
You're welcome.

1356
01:36:14.680 --> 01:36:18.200
And I did want to say to you and to everyone else, ladies, it's okay.

1357
01:36:18.200 --> 01:36:20.600
If you feel led to redo the heartwork.

1358
01:36:20.760 --> 01:36:21.280
Okay.

1359
01:36:21.400 --> 01:36:22.440
And start back over.

1360
01:36:22.800 --> 01:36:23.320
It's okay.

1361
01:36:23.320 --> 01:36:25.000
If you guys are in here for awhile.

1362
01:36:25.240 --> 01:36:28.920
But in Leslie's case, so don't hear me say something.

1363
01:36:28.920 --> 01:36:32.000
And again, Leslie's not in trouble that she's still here.

1364
01:36:32.400 --> 01:36:32.880
Okay.

1365
01:36:33.800 --> 01:36:39.680
But because she's in this thing with this guy, it's delaying her heartwork process.

1366
01:36:41.920 --> 01:36:45.480
And some of you all, your distractions might be other things.

1367
01:36:45.520 --> 01:36:47.280
You have too many things on your plate.

1368
01:36:48.480 --> 01:36:49.960
You're trying to do too many things at once.

1369
01:36:50.160 --> 01:36:51.920
Maybe kids are distracting you.

1370
01:36:51.920 --> 01:36:53.080
Maybe it's work.

1371
01:36:53.080 --> 01:36:55.480
You know, everybody has different things.

1372
01:36:55.520 --> 01:36:56.000
Okay.

1373
01:36:56.840 --> 01:37:02.880
But I always, Eloise knows this take one step, just keep taking one step ladies.

1374
01:37:02.880 --> 01:37:03.320
Okay.

1375
01:37:03.600 --> 01:37:06.360
And Roseanne going back and doing it because you felt like the Lord was

1376
01:37:06.360 --> 01:37:09.720
leading you to, because you had that, you know, illness that you were dealing with.

1377
01:37:10.200 --> 01:37:11.360
That's not a bad thing.

1378
01:37:12.000 --> 01:37:13.800
Praise the Lord that you're following the Holy spirit.

1379
01:37:13.800 --> 01:37:14.600
I think that's great.

1380
01:37:15.040 --> 01:37:17.960
And so I just want to support you or anyone else that's in that place.

1381
01:37:18.440 --> 01:37:22.360
We're not going to kick y'all out, but I'm going to lovingly nudge you all.

1382
01:37:22.360 --> 01:37:28.040
If I feel like you're, you're getting distracted because you're

1383
01:37:28.040 --> 01:37:29.320
going to thank me for it later.

1384
01:37:30.360 --> 01:37:31.640
You're going to thank me for it later.

1385
01:37:31.800 --> 01:37:32.160
All right.

1386
01:37:32.160 --> 01:37:34.240
I'm going to take Glenna and she'll be my last person.

1387
01:37:34.240 --> 01:37:35.360
We're at nine 37.

1388
01:37:35.360 --> 01:37:39.080
So if you need to jump off, I really am going to work on getting us back to an

1389
01:37:39.080 --> 01:37:42.240
hour and a half because I know I want to be true to our time.

1390
01:37:42.440 --> 01:37:44.240
So if you need to jump off, totally understand.

1391
01:37:44.240 --> 01:37:47.720
I'm so glad to see all of you tonight, but Glenna would love to hear what you

1392
01:37:47.720 --> 01:37:51.800
have to say, and then she will be my last person this evening, Bethany.

1393
01:37:52.080 --> 01:37:52.680
Welcome back.

1394
01:37:54.680 --> 01:38:00.840
You know, I've done the tree and the root and one of the biggest destructive

1395
01:38:00.840 --> 01:38:03.960
roots of my life has been rejection.

1396
01:38:04.160 --> 01:38:08.920
And, you know, I've been listening to the audio book with Joyce Meyers on

1397
01:38:08.960 --> 01:38:10.960
healing the wounds of rejection.

1398
01:38:10.960 --> 01:38:16.600
And sometimes I have to stop the audio because it's just a lot, but, um, you

1399
01:38:16.600 --> 01:38:24.200
know, mainly in family relationships, I sometimes feel rejected.

1400
01:38:24.280 --> 01:38:30.120
Um, but recently I had, um, I had an incident in a business relationship

1401
01:38:30.160 --> 01:38:35.200
and it, what was a week ago was conversation with, I'm a general

1402
01:38:35.200 --> 01:38:40.480
contractor and it was with one of my owners of, um, one of my subcontractors

1403
01:38:40.480 --> 01:38:42.560
and it's a woman and she's a Christian.

1404
01:38:42.880 --> 01:38:47.480
And, um, I build a very different house, very high performance house.

1405
01:38:47.520 --> 01:38:53.120
And so I'm always trying new, new, um, like this was a new furnace.

1406
01:38:53.120 --> 01:38:56.480
I tried and went to Houston, Texas and learned about the training, blah, blah,

1407
01:38:56.480 --> 01:38:56.680
blah.

1408
01:38:57.000 --> 01:39:01.480
Um, and I tried it on my daughter's house and it's not functioning properly

1409
01:39:01.480 --> 01:39:03.400
and I keep having them come back.

1410
01:39:03.400 --> 01:39:04.480
And she made a statement.

1411
01:39:04.840 --> 01:39:07.200
She said, well, my husband knows what he's doing.

1412
01:39:07.440 --> 01:39:11.960
He's been doing this 40 years and you're the only one that he's ever had a

1413
01:39:11.960 --> 01:39:12.840
problem with.

1414
01:39:13.440 --> 01:39:18.520
So I let it go for a minute, but I did have the courage to circle back and say

1415
01:39:19.040 --> 01:39:23.560
to her, I'd like to revisit the statement you made.

1416
01:39:23.760 --> 01:39:28.600
Um, you know, and I said, first of all, that's very offensive to me.

1417
01:39:28.720 --> 01:39:34.560
Um, and I said, secondly, I know I build a very different house, a very higher

1418
01:39:34.560 --> 01:39:38.480
standard to the 2021 IECC code.

1419
01:39:38.760 --> 01:39:44.600
And, you know, we've earned seven housing awards from the department of energy.

1420
01:39:44.600 --> 01:39:48.280
In other words, I started explaining to myself and I'm like, why am I doing this?

1421
01:39:48.280 --> 01:39:55.320
Stop, because I don't need to explain, but how in the moment, how do I, you know,

1422
01:39:55.400 --> 01:40:00.040
again, I'm, God is pulling the layers off of me because I have done really well.

1423
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:06.180
on other situations, not to take the bait of that offense and that rejection.

1424
01:40:06.180 --> 01:40:09.100
But in this, this one just really triggered me.

1425
01:40:09.100 --> 01:40:14.420
And it literally last week was just, I was horrible week because I, every day I was like

1426
01:40:14.420 --> 01:40:16.300
almost consumed with that.

1427
01:40:16.300 --> 01:40:21.620
And I don't want to be, I want that to heal, you know?

1428
01:40:21.620 --> 01:40:23.420
Yeah, I do.

1429
01:40:23.420 --> 01:40:26.700
And Glenna, you know, I brought up that situation from the church.

1430
01:40:26.700 --> 01:40:31.220
You know, I think it makes me think of that again, as you're sharing tonight, because

1431
01:40:31.220 --> 01:40:35.520
I absolutely wanted to defend us.

1432
01:40:35.520 --> 01:40:37.860
And I felt like I had a right to.

1433
01:40:37.860 --> 01:40:38.860
Me too.

1434
01:40:38.860 --> 01:40:39.860
Yeah.

1435
01:40:39.860 --> 01:40:43.420
But here's the thing that I felt led to ask you.

1436
01:40:43.420 --> 01:40:51.940
If you didn't say something back to that woman, what would be your worst fear?

1437
01:40:51.940 --> 01:40:53.640
That it's true.

1438
01:40:53.640 --> 01:40:55.500
That what part is true?

1439
01:40:55.500 --> 01:40:58.460
That I'm, I'm the problem child.

1440
01:40:58.460 --> 01:40:59.980
Okay.

1441
01:40:59.980 --> 01:41:03.340
So that's the root and that's what we have to look at.

1442
01:41:03.340 --> 01:41:08.180
So, you know, sometimes it's like this ladies, we have to face our deepest fear.

1443
01:41:08.180 --> 01:41:10.180
So what is our deepest fear?

1444
01:41:10.180 --> 01:41:14.780
A lot of times there's that, that quote that talks about our deepest fear is that we're

1445
01:41:14.780 --> 01:41:15.780
inadequate.

1446
01:41:15.780 --> 01:41:16.780
Right.

1447
01:41:16.780 --> 01:41:20.700
That we know we're called for greatness, but we're inadequate.

1448
01:41:20.700 --> 01:41:24.780
But that's not actually true, right?

1449
01:41:24.780 --> 01:41:30.060
Because God equips us, doesn't he doesn't say that if he calls us to something, he's

1450
01:41:30.060 --> 01:41:33.740
going to equip us, he's going to enable us, he's going to empower us.

1451
01:41:33.740 --> 01:41:35.800
And we can call on the Holy spirit to do that.

1452
01:41:35.800 --> 01:41:41.140
So even in this situation, let's say, let's just worst case scenario it for a second.

1453
01:41:41.140 --> 01:41:46.540
I don't think this is true, but I'm just doing this for us processing this out.

1454
01:41:46.540 --> 01:41:56.820
Let's say that day, you were the one that said something you shouldn't have said, right?

1455
01:41:56.820 --> 01:42:01.380
This is all, I'm just making this up, right?

1456
01:42:01.380 --> 01:42:06.820
Is God's grace big enough to cover you?

1457
01:42:06.820 --> 01:42:08.860
Yes.

1458
01:42:08.860 --> 01:42:17.180
Even if the wife comes standing up for her husband, is he big, big enough to cover a

1459
01:42:17.180 --> 01:42:20.200
mistake that we make?

1460
01:42:20.200 --> 01:42:26.060
Can we turn to him and trust him with these people and these situations?

1461
01:42:26.060 --> 01:42:30.420
And, and instead of like, one of the things God showed me in this situation that we just

1462
01:42:30.420 --> 01:42:35.100
went through y'all, I literally like genuinely, like, I'm not saying we never make mistakes,

1463
01:42:35.100 --> 01:42:38.660
but we have been so loving to these people.

1464
01:42:38.660 --> 01:42:41.100
And a lot of times that's the worst, right?

1465
01:42:41.100 --> 01:42:46.580
The people that you, you actually go out of your way for you're, you're doing things with

1466
01:42:46.580 --> 01:42:47.580
excellence.

1467
01:42:47.580 --> 01:42:53.860
Glenna, it sounds like you're really doing stuff that's above and beyond.

1468
01:42:53.860 --> 01:42:57.660
And then someone's coming in there jabbing you for it.

1469
01:42:57.660 --> 01:42:58.660
Right.

1470
01:42:58.660 --> 01:42:59.660
Right.

1471
01:42:59.660 --> 01:43:02.740
And you're like, what the heck?

1472
01:43:02.740 --> 01:43:08.980
And it feels almost more painful because you're not doing something wrong.

1473
01:43:08.980 --> 01:43:13.980
Be different if we, like, from my perspective, it would have been different if we had done

1474
01:43:13.980 --> 01:43:16.700
something wrong, but we didn't.

1475
01:43:16.700 --> 01:43:20.780
And then he was saying that we did.

1476
01:43:20.780 --> 01:43:27.560
And so I'm, I'm saying sometimes we have to look at those situations and we have to say,

1477
01:43:27.560 --> 01:43:30.060
you know what?

1478
01:43:30.060 --> 01:43:31.060
That's a distraction.

1479
01:43:31.060 --> 01:43:32.060
Yep.

1480
01:43:33.060 --> 01:43:34.980
I don't need to defend myself.

1481
01:43:34.980 --> 01:43:38.620
I don't need to prove myself.

1482
01:43:38.620 --> 01:43:42.380
And if we believe we have to prove ourselves, we need to look at that.

1483
01:43:42.380 --> 01:43:48.060
Why do we feel like we need to prove that we didn't do something wrong, that it's okay

1484
01:43:48.060 --> 01:43:51.220
for us to build the house the way we build it?

1485
01:43:51.220 --> 01:43:57.820
You know, why, why do we feel that we have to defend ourselves?

1486
01:43:57.820 --> 01:44:02.300
I think part of it goes back to why you were talking.

1487
01:44:02.300 --> 01:44:08.220
What came up in my spirit was when I was, I was, I was the only child and when things

1488
01:44:08.220 --> 01:44:14.660
would go wrong with my, in my mom's life, she always blamed me.

1489
01:44:14.660 --> 01:44:22.620
And even to the point where she locked herself in the bathroom one time and took a razor

1490
01:44:22.620 --> 01:44:29.020
blade and said she was going to kill herself and it was all my fault.

1491
01:44:29.020 --> 01:44:35.220
And I was only like nine years old.

1492
01:44:35.220 --> 01:44:39.620
So as you continue to let, you know, these situations, not just let them go, but keep

1493
01:44:39.620 --> 01:44:43.820
healing from them, you know, the reality that, I mean, that's still very painful for you

1494
01:44:43.820 --> 01:44:44.820
clearly.

1495
01:44:44.820 --> 01:44:45.820
Right.

1496
01:44:45.820 --> 01:44:49.420
Um, what came up interestingly enough tonight, were you on, when I was sharing about the

1497
01:44:49.420 --> 01:44:52.340
responsibility gift, were you on at that time?

1498
01:44:52.340 --> 01:44:53.340
Yes.

1499
01:44:53.340 --> 01:44:58.420
And I, and my strength finders responsibility is real high on my list too.

1500
01:44:58.420 --> 01:44:59.420
Okay.

1501
01:44:59.420 --> 01:45:00.420
Okay.

1502
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:03.960
your responsibility gift is getting overextended probably at times too.

1503
01:45:00.420 --> 01:45:00.420


1504
01:45:04.000 --> 01:45:09.200
Okay. So be aware of that. And that probably got overextended.

1505
01:45:09.200 --> 01:45:12.720
If you're like me, if you relate at all to what I was saying earlier,

1506
01:45:13.120 --> 01:45:17.400
because of what I went through as a kid, that responsibility is a gift,

1507
01:45:17.400 --> 01:45:22.520
but as a kid, I literally felt like I had to take care of everyone.

1508
01:45:23.120 --> 01:45:23.960
Right.

1509
01:45:24.520 --> 01:45:26.480
And so it got overextended then.

1510
01:45:26.480 --> 01:45:31.000
And then I just kind of carried that into all of my relationships until literally

1511
01:45:31.000 --> 01:45:31.800
you all, I mean,

1512
01:45:31.800 --> 01:45:36.040
and there's been things over the years where God is like, yeah, that's not your,

1513
01:45:36.200 --> 01:45:39.320
you don't need to take care of that. That's their problem.

1514
01:45:39.600 --> 01:45:41.440
And so that's been helping me with it.

1515
01:45:41.680 --> 01:45:45.440
But genuinely in the last six months to a year that God's really been

1516
01:45:45.440 --> 01:45:49.320
highlighting to me, like, that is not yours to carry.

1517
01:45:50.440 --> 01:45:51.640
That's not your job.

1518
01:45:51.920 --> 01:45:53.440
And I think in this situation,

1519
01:45:53.440 --> 01:45:57.480
I felt over responsible because my daughter just moved back from Charlotte and

1520
01:45:57.480 --> 01:45:58.960
this was her house I built.

1521
01:45:59.640 --> 01:46:04.440
So I tend to try new products on either my own personal house or

1522
01:46:05.080 --> 01:46:09.360
a model home. So it was an opportunity to try that product. And,

1523
01:46:09.760 --> 01:46:12.480
and you know, also I've been,

1524
01:46:12.760 --> 01:46:17.480
I've had some issues with this contractor over the last year and a half.

1525
01:46:17.480 --> 01:46:20.360
And I met with him several times to try to resolve it.

1526
01:46:20.960 --> 01:46:25.120
And it'll get a little better for a while, but so,

1527
01:46:25.400 --> 01:46:26.360
but you know, in the mean,

1528
01:46:27.000 --> 01:46:29.320
most likely I'm just going to say, I don't know this guy,

1529
01:46:29.320 --> 01:46:33.120
but I'm going to guess he has, and you don't need to point this out to him,

1530
01:46:33.560 --> 01:46:35.160
but you may want to pray for him.

1531
01:46:35.720 --> 01:46:39.040
I'm going to guess he may have some mother wounds.

1532
01:46:39.920 --> 01:46:43.200
So he may really struggle to work with strong women,

1533
01:46:44.160 --> 01:46:45.200
women in authority.

1534
01:46:46.240 --> 01:46:48.480
But the other thing that kind of stood out to me,

1535
01:46:48.480 --> 01:46:53.000
and then I'm going to start to close. I don't know if there's any connection here.

1536
01:46:53.000 --> 01:46:56.400
So just ask the Lord about it, but you just, you're saying I,

1537
01:46:56.720 --> 01:46:59.920
I put this product in my daughter's house.

1538
01:47:00.760 --> 01:47:02.520
And then on the flip side, a little bit ago,

1539
01:47:02.520 --> 01:47:05.600
you were talking about you and your mom, right?

1540
01:47:05.600 --> 01:47:08.360
And I don't think that's a coincidence. There's this, you know,

1541
01:47:08.360 --> 01:47:13.360
like really wanting to be a really great provider,

1542
01:47:13.400 --> 01:47:17.640
a great mom for your daughter and feeling like something went wrong in her

1543
01:47:17.640 --> 01:47:22.200
house. I don't know. Like, it just feels like that's a coincidence there.

1544
01:47:22.760 --> 01:47:24.400
And so it might be nothing,

1545
01:47:24.400 --> 01:47:27.800
but I would just encourage you to pray into that and just see if there's any,

1546
01:47:28.320 --> 01:47:32.720
you know, anything that the enemy is trying to lie to you about in that regard.

1547
01:47:32.720 --> 01:47:36.000
And like I said, there might be nothing, but I just wanted to mention it.

1548
01:47:36.040 --> 01:47:40.000
No, there, there is. Cause I don't ever want to

1549
01:47:42.640 --> 01:47:43.760
fail as a mom.

1550
01:47:44.760 --> 01:47:48.680
All right. And what you said is you didn't want it to be true,

1551
01:47:49.040 --> 01:47:50.840
what they were saying, right?

1552
01:47:51.520 --> 01:47:55.080
So failure as mom might be the root of that. Okay.

1553
01:47:56.080 --> 01:48:00.640
Okay. And I think just the more that I'm, I'm even thinking on it,

1554
01:48:00.640 --> 01:48:05.240
I think that go that direction and let's see what gets healed in you.

1555
01:48:05.720 --> 01:48:10.720
And because failure as mom might feed into failure as a worker failure in these

1556
01:48:11.240 --> 01:48:15.720
other areas potentially, but the root might be, um,

1557
01:48:15.760 --> 01:48:16.920
failure as mom.

1558
01:48:16.920 --> 01:48:20.760
And it might even be the lie that you were a failure as a daughter.

1559
01:48:20.760 --> 01:48:22.720
Cause you said you had to be responsible for mom.

1560
01:48:22.720 --> 01:48:26.080
She blamed you with all this stuff, but it actually wasn't any of your fault.

1561
01:48:26.640 --> 01:48:27.480
It wasn't.

1562
01:48:28.160 --> 01:48:32.320
Later found out that she was schizophrenic. She had mental illness and,

1563
01:48:32.600 --> 01:48:36.920
and I was able to forgive her before she passed away and took care of her,

1564
01:48:37.320 --> 01:48:40.280
you know, and that didn't have any hard feelings. She, she was,

1565
01:48:40.280 --> 01:48:43.840
she had mental illness and didn't have the help like we do today.

1566
01:48:44.840 --> 01:48:49.640
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Pray into those other things, ladies,

1567
01:48:49.640 --> 01:48:52.200
this has been an awesome night. It's been so good to be back.

1568
01:48:52.240 --> 01:48:56.280
Let me pray us out father. Thank you so much for this amazing night.

1569
01:48:56.280 --> 01:48:58.000
Thank you for these incredible women.

1570
01:48:58.000 --> 01:49:02.000
I pray that you would give them the courage to follow through on the heart work,

1571
01:49:02.000 --> 01:49:05.120
to invest in themselves, to hear what your spirit is saying to them. God,

1572
01:49:05.120 --> 01:49:07.760
we thank you for upgrades. We thank you for revelation,

1573
01:49:08.040 --> 01:49:11.400
breakthrough and freedom in the spirit realm. God,

1574
01:49:11.400 --> 01:49:13.800
as well as here in the physical realm, God,

1575
01:49:13.800 --> 01:49:16.760
we thank you that you would guard and keep watch over them and their children

1576
01:49:16.760 --> 01:49:21.760
and their grandchildren and God help them to live at peace with you and

1577
01:49:21.760 --> 01:49:26.200
with men and Jesus name. Amen. God bless you.

1578
01:49:26.200 --> 01:49:29.240
I'll see you guys in the group. Have a good night, everyone.

1579
01:49:30.520 --> 01:49:30.800
God.