WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:11.520
Hello, welcome to another amazing night of heart work and a great week and just time

2
00:00:11.520 --> 00:00:12.520
to be alive.

3
00:00:12.520 --> 00:00:18.320
God is doing awesome things and I want to encourage you all just to come already expecting

4
00:00:18.320 --> 00:00:21.460
for God to do something supernatural for you tonight.

5
00:00:21.460 --> 00:00:26.640
We want to believe that God is always on the move and that we get to partner with Him in

6
00:00:26.640 --> 00:00:27.640
the process.

7
00:00:27.640 --> 00:00:29.760
Welcome, if you're continuing to join us.

8
00:00:29.760 --> 00:00:34.080
I'm going to wait for a minute or so as ladies are joining us just because even housekeeping

9
00:00:34.080 --> 00:00:39.800
I feel is super important and if you've never met me before, got wild bangs tonight here

10
00:00:39.800 --> 00:00:40.800
y'all.

11
00:00:40.800 --> 00:00:44.280
If you've never met me before, my name is Bethany Cooper, I'm so glad to be joining

12
00:00:44.280 --> 00:00:45.280
you all tonight.

13
00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:49.840
I'm one of the Master Heart Work Coaches here in the community and I love seeing y'all roll

14
00:00:49.840 --> 00:00:50.840
on.

15
00:00:50.840 --> 00:00:55.640
If you're able to come on camera, I would love to invite you to do that and again, there's

16
00:00:55.640 --> 00:00:58.200
no pressure if you're driving, you're eating or whatever.

17
00:00:58.200 --> 00:01:03.400
I know not everybody plans and I know some people are actually afraid to turn their camera

18
00:01:03.400 --> 00:01:04.400
on.

19
00:01:04.400 --> 00:01:06.720
I know this because I've been doing this for a long time.

20
00:01:06.720 --> 00:01:13.400
I can't tell you how many women are afraid to actually be seen on camera.

21
00:01:13.400 --> 00:01:17.840
And so, hey, this is a great time to practice because some of you are going to meet your

22
00:01:17.840 --> 00:01:22.660
spirit mates in person and some of you are going to meet your spirit mates online.

23
00:01:22.660 --> 00:01:28.420
So, if you are afraid to come online with us, your sisters in the Heart Work and the

24
00:01:28.420 --> 00:01:32.780
coaches here, it's going to be really tough when you get to that point.

25
00:01:32.780 --> 00:01:36.500
And you're going to hold back, you will, so if you practice coming out of hiding while

26
00:01:36.500 --> 00:01:42.300
you're here in the Heart Work, I promise you, it will help you in the days to come in so

27
00:01:42.300 --> 00:01:44.480
many ways.

28
00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:49.140
When I coach the other coaches that are in training, one of the things I have them do

29
00:01:49.380 --> 00:01:55.540
is go live in a Facebook group and do videos to answer the homework questions I give them.

30
00:01:55.540 --> 00:02:00.340
And the reason I do this is because once we get on camera and we start talking, you would

31
00:02:00.340 --> 00:02:03.500
be surprised at how many insecurities will surface.

32
00:02:03.500 --> 00:02:11.060
And so, again, this is to encourage you, to help you, and if you struggle with insecurity

33
00:02:11.060 --> 00:02:15.180
and comparison, if you turn your screen on and you start comparing yourself to other

34
00:02:15.180 --> 00:02:19.220
women, ladies, this is a prime time to heal from that.

35
00:02:19.220 --> 00:02:23.980
God wants you to know that you are beautiful, that you are worthy of love, that God has

36
00:02:23.980 --> 00:02:26.540
amazing plans for you.

37
00:02:26.540 --> 00:02:30.900
And your sisters here, God is bringing the people, we believe that you're all here by

38
00:02:30.900 --> 00:02:37.460
divine design and timing, and that God wants to do something, even in creating sisterhood

39
00:02:37.460 --> 00:02:38.780
for you.

40
00:02:38.780 --> 00:02:44.660
Part of allowing a sister to become your friend is allowing them to see you.

41
00:02:44.660 --> 00:02:47.900
Doesn't it make you feel more connected right away when you start seeing additional people

42
00:02:47.900 --> 00:02:49.100
pop on the screen here?

43
00:02:49.100 --> 00:02:52.180
I know it does for me, even as a leader and a coach.

44
00:02:52.180 --> 00:02:57.020
And so, again, some of you may not be able to be on screen, I totally understand.

45
00:02:57.020 --> 00:03:02.260
But let's start coming, I always try to encourage people this in the heart work, and I see that

46
00:03:02.260 --> 00:03:05.300
some people start to fade away from it by the time they get to the other phases.

47
00:03:05.300 --> 00:03:09.900
So I want to encourage you to carry this, what I'm saying to you, all throughout your

48
00:03:09.900 --> 00:03:14.100
journey here in our Last Year Single community.

49
00:03:14.100 --> 00:03:19.300
Because here's, again, the thing, if we're practicing not just for dating, but coming

50
00:03:19.300 --> 00:03:25.340
out of hiding and life in general, giving ourselves the challenge to show up as much

51
00:03:25.340 --> 00:03:32.980
as we can on camera for live heart work events, in phase two, prayer calls, prophetic nights,

52
00:03:32.980 --> 00:03:40.460
when we have things in the community that you will intentionally invest in allowing

53
00:03:40.460 --> 00:03:42.100
yourself to be seen.

54
00:03:42.100 --> 00:03:45.900
I genuinely have seen this set people free.

55
00:03:45.900 --> 00:03:50.940
Because again, some of you don't even like to see yourself in the mirror, let alone on

56
00:03:50.940 --> 00:03:54.340
a live camera, right?

57
00:03:54.340 --> 00:03:56.980
Is this resonating for anybody?

58
00:03:56.980 --> 00:03:57.980
I think so.

59
00:03:57.980 --> 00:04:02.900
Y'all, I did my hair and stuff before I hopped on, so don't think I always look like this.

60
00:04:02.940 --> 00:04:06.860
I looked kind of not so great all day today because I work from home and I don't have

61
00:04:06.860 --> 00:04:08.860
to do my hair.

62
00:04:08.860 --> 00:04:12.300
But anyways, I'm just trying to lighten the mood because sometimes people are like, okay,

63
00:04:12.300 --> 00:04:15.500
but your hair and your makeup are done, and so you're ready for this.

64
00:04:15.500 --> 00:04:17.380
Nope, I'm not always.

65
00:04:17.380 --> 00:04:20.220
I jumped on a team meeting today with no makeup on.

66
00:04:20.220 --> 00:04:23.100
Y'all, I do allow myself to be seen without makeup.

67
00:04:23.100 --> 00:04:24.780
And I never used to do that.

68
00:04:24.780 --> 00:04:28.380
My mom raised me, you don't leave the house without makeup on.

69
00:04:28.380 --> 00:04:30.940
And even though this is a camera, you're on screen.

70
00:04:30.980 --> 00:04:35.220
I kind of attribute this to, even though I'm not leaving my home, I'm allowing someone

71
00:04:35.220 --> 00:04:37.300
to see me outside my home.

72
00:04:37.300 --> 00:04:42.940
And so back in the day, I wouldn't have even gone on a live session without makeup.

73
00:04:42.940 --> 00:04:48.180
I've been working on that, not because I have to, but because God has been challenging me

74
00:04:48.180 --> 00:04:50.180
to stretch.

75
00:04:50.180 --> 00:04:56.940
To stretch and allow my imperfections, isn't this how we feel?

76
00:04:56.940 --> 00:04:59.620
To be seen and known and loved.

77
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:02.880
And so that has nothing to do with our content tonight, y'all.

78
00:05:02.880 --> 00:05:07.960
Sometimes just things come up as I start to talk about just engaging you all.

79
00:05:08.640 --> 00:05:14.100
We used to emphasize this a lot back in the day, coming on screen and all this.

80
00:05:14.100 --> 00:05:19.760
And I tend to get away from it, but when I remind you all, it, I see you guys

81
00:05:19.760 --> 00:05:21.960
starting to come out of hiding more and more.

82
00:05:21.960 --> 00:05:23.920
And so I'm going to try to get back to that.

83
00:05:24.260 --> 00:05:25.680
I think it's super important.

84
00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:26.280
Okay.

85
00:05:26.280 --> 00:05:27.720
On that note, welcome.

86
00:05:27.720 --> 00:05:31.380
If you are new here, if you've never been here before, this is your first live

87
00:05:31.380 --> 00:05:35.840
session, I would love for you to put that in the chat for us so we can welcome you.

88
00:05:36.120 --> 00:05:38.800
If you are returning, welcome back.

89
00:05:38.800 --> 00:05:43.000
I'm so glad to have you here with us on this heartwork journey and tonight,

90
00:05:43.280 --> 00:05:49.160
because you know what, ladies, none of us, most likely we'll all be here at

91
00:05:49.160 --> 00:05:55.360
this same moment in time ever again, like tonight in the atmosphere, what

92
00:05:55.360 --> 00:05:59.720
God is doing in the spirit realm, the people that are on this session and

93
00:05:59.880 --> 00:06:04.320
where each one of us are at in our heart healing journey and life, we're all

94
00:06:04.320 --> 00:06:10.160
bringing all of this together tonight in this sacred space, and I really want you

95
00:06:10.160 --> 00:06:15.080
to understand that that is a beautiful thing and it's a part of God's

96
00:06:15.200 --> 00:06:17.360
supernatural work in this community.

97
00:06:17.760 --> 00:06:21.280
Some of our best practices, this is some of my little housekeeping things.

98
00:06:21.480 --> 00:06:24.800
We want to encourage you if you don't know this, that while you're here

99
00:06:24.800 --> 00:06:27.840
in the heartwork, we're asking you to press pause on dating.

100
00:06:28.640 --> 00:06:30.040
Super important, y'all.

101
00:06:30.280 --> 00:06:34.760
Some of you are like, but I just started talking to Joe like yesterday and do

102
00:06:34.760 --> 00:06:36.400
I have to stop talking to him now?

103
00:06:36.840 --> 00:06:38.240
We would encourage you to do that.

104
00:06:38.240 --> 00:06:42.200
We would encourage you to say, Hey Joe, you seem really nice, but I am investing

105
00:06:42.200 --> 00:06:46.040
in this heart healing journey and I really need to focus on that for the

106
00:06:46.040 --> 00:06:48.400
next five, six, however many weeks.

107
00:06:48.840 --> 00:06:50.480
And so I'm going all in with that.

108
00:06:50.880 --> 00:06:54.440
Uh, if you're open to it, I'd love to reach back out to you when I'm done.

109
00:06:54.800 --> 00:06:55.960
And that's as easy.

110
00:06:55.960 --> 00:06:59.200
I mean, literally, I know it doesn't sound easy, but it is easy.

111
00:06:59.480 --> 00:07:03.080
Whatever we choose to be all in for.

112
00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:05.120
It's, it's going to be a game changer.

113
00:07:05.120 --> 00:07:10.000
So if you will go all in with us on your journey here in the heartwork, I really

114
00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:11.680
believe you're going to reap the benefits of that.

115
00:07:11.840 --> 00:07:14.800
Some of you might, might have been in long-term relationships

116
00:07:14.800 --> 00:07:15.960
before you came in here.

117
00:07:16.120 --> 00:07:19.520
We're not saying you have to break up with them, but I am saying, we

118
00:07:19.520 --> 00:07:23.840
are saying as a community that we want you to intentionally create some

119
00:07:23.840 --> 00:07:29.120
space so that you're not so focused on that person that you miss what

120
00:07:29.120 --> 00:07:30.800
God is trying to do in you.

121
00:07:30.920 --> 00:07:31.360
Okay.

122
00:07:31.720 --> 00:07:34.240
Invest in self-care throughout this journey of healing as well.

123
00:07:34.240 --> 00:07:37.520
So we want to encourage you to drink plenty of water, getting some extra

124
00:07:37.520 --> 00:07:41.840
rest, moving your body and feeding yourself with healthy stuff.

125
00:07:42.520 --> 00:07:43.640
Super important.

126
00:07:43.640 --> 00:07:48.480
You all, you're going to be processing things in your body, whether you realize

127
00:07:48.480 --> 00:07:52.640
it or not, as you do the heartwork that we need to get that stuff out of your body.

128
00:07:52.640 --> 00:07:56.840
So toxins that have been stored up in trauma in yourselves.

129
00:07:56.840 --> 00:07:58.160
We want you to move your body.

130
00:07:58.360 --> 00:08:02.640
I don't ever recommend brands, but I'm a big, uh, firm believer of detox tea.

131
00:08:02.640 --> 00:08:05.200
It's helped me a lot over the years.

132
00:08:05.520 --> 00:08:09.000
And anytime when I just feel kind of sluggish, when I'm processing

133
00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:12.880
something, it helps kind of move that stuff on out of the body.

134
00:08:13.080 --> 00:08:15.760
Supernatural Saturday replay is up.

135
00:08:15.800 --> 00:08:18.240
You all shame off you.

136
00:08:18.240 --> 00:08:23.600
Shame, not being an emotion and how oftentimes the enemy is trying to use

137
00:08:23.600 --> 00:08:28.120
shame to hold us back and really hinder us.

138
00:08:28.120 --> 00:08:29.160
I was just looking, sorry.

139
00:08:29.160 --> 00:08:30.160
It made me think about it.

140
00:08:30.200 --> 00:08:34.440
Um, it looks like our replay from last night is not up.

141
00:08:34.559 --> 00:08:37.159
We don't know if we're going to be able to get it for you all.

142
00:08:37.159 --> 00:08:41.240
Unfortunately, it was recorded, but we could not find the recording this morning.

143
00:08:41.240 --> 00:08:42.159
So it's a mystery.

144
00:08:42.880 --> 00:08:46.280
Um, so pray for us because we were really disappointed because we wanted

145
00:08:46.280 --> 00:08:47.760
everybody to be able to hear that.

146
00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:51.240
But check those replays out and continue to dive in.

147
00:08:51.240 --> 00:08:52.360
Let me go ahead and pray for us.

148
00:08:52.360 --> 00:08:54.600
And we're going to jump into the content for this evening.

149
00:08:54.600 --> 00:08:56.440
Father, thank you for this night.

150
00:08:56.440 --> 00:08:57.760
God, we thank you for.

151
00:08:58.520 --> 00:09:00.400
Revealings for healing that are going to take place.

152
00:09:00.400 --> 00:09:05.360
God, we thank you for every lady and every life represented here, every purpose and

153
00:09:05.360 --> 00:09:07.920
plan and promise that is represented here.

154
00:09:08.120 --> 00:09:11.240
God, I thank you that you bring things out of the darkness into the light that

155
00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:17.080
you would bring truth and hope and resurrection power right into the source

156
00:09:17.120 --> 00:09:21.640
of any dark areas, any deception, and that you would just shatter darkness through

157
00:09:21.640 --> 00:09:27.720
you, the, yeah, the immensity and the fullness of your love for them and for us.

158
00:09:28.600 --> 00:09:31.000
God, I thank you that you would help us to hear what your spirit is saying

159
00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:32.520
louder than any voice of the enemy.

160
00:09:32.520 --> 00:09:35.600
God help us to have a direct line with heaven tonight.

161
00:09:36.040 --> 00:09:39.840
God, we thank you for just continuing to help us in this journey.

162
00:09:40.320 --> 00:09:44.520
God, that we will lay aside every weight that so easily ensnares us so that we can

163
00:09:44.520 --> 00:09:47.920
press on toward the high calling of God for our lives, which we believe

164
00:09:48.200 --> 00:09:50.280
includes their love stories.

165
00:09:50.280 --> 00:09:53.560
So God, we thank you for your blessing upon them.

166
00:09:54.040 --> 00:09:56.240
God, give them peace, give them confidence.

167
00:09:56.560 --> 00:09:59.880
We help, we ask you to help them to become more and more secure.

168
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:05.920
and who you are, God, and who they are to you. In Jesus' name, amen.

169
00:10:05.920 --> 00:10:11.280
Tonight we're talking about the story of Candace, but really not just that story,

170
00:10:11.280 --> 00:10:21.040
but about God's promises. God's promises to you, and what happens when promises by other people

171
00:10:21.040 --> 00:10:30.320
are broken, and then we project that onto God, okay? And oftentimes, we believe the lie that

172
00:10:30.320 --> 00:10:37.360
God does not care about us. He cares about everybody else. He's blessing everybody else,

173
00:10:37.360 --> 00:10:43.520
but when it comes to me, it just, I can't ever get it right. God just seems to hold out on me.

174
00:10:43.520 --> 00:10:49.440
He dangles carrots in front of me, and then, like, it never happens, or I get the blessing,

175
00:10:49.440 --> 00:10:56.720
and then the other shoe always drops, because God just holds out on me. These are lies, obviously,

176
00:10:56.720 --> 00:11:02.800
but these are things that we believe, and we might not, like, overtly believe them. We might be

177
00:11:02.800 --> 00:11:08.640
confessing, y'all, but literally, I can remember, I mean, I've prayed the Word of God for a long

178
00:11:08.640 --> 00:11:13.920
time, but there would be times where, you know, I'd be walking and declaring the Word, and telling

179
00:11:13.920 --> 00:11:22.640
the devil where to go, and still struggling deep on the inside, and that was real. That was genuine.

180
00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:29.520
I believed what I was praying, but what was happening is it wasn't getting all the way down

181
00:11:29.520 --> 00:11:36.160
into the core deception areas, and so I want to encourage you that no matter how long you've been

182
00:11:36.160 --> 00:11:42.000
walking with the Lord, no matter what your life has looked like in the past, that you would really pray

183
00:11:42.000 --> 00:11:49.440
and ask God to lift every veil off of your heart, your mind, your body, your spirit, even your soul,

184
00:11:49.440 --> 00:11:54.720
that He would come in and illuminate the light of the world. Jesus is the light of the world,

185
00:11:54.720 --> 00:12:02.480
that He would come in and illuminate in you all of His light, and all of His joy, and all this hope,

186
00:12:02.480 --> 00:12:08.800
that He would just bring all of that in and encounter the darkness that you have been

187
00:12:08.800 --> 00:12:14.880
kept in, in certain ways, and set you free. So if we look at, if you haven't heard it yet, you will.

188
00:12:14.880 --> 00:12:19.040
If you're brand new, you probably haven't heard it, but for those of you that have been here

189
00:12:19.040 --> 00:12:25.680
for a few weeks, you probably heard Jackie tell the story about Candice, and the short version

190
00:12:25.680 --> 00:12:29.280
is that, I don't want to spoil it for those of you that haven't heard it, but basically

191
00:12:30.800 --> 00:12:38.000
Jackie didn't know who Candice was, but God did, and God was talking to Jackie about Candice,

192
00:12:38.560 --> 00:12:44.800
and God was telling Jackie that Candice was going to be there, and she needed healing. There were

193
00:12:44.800 --> 00:12:49.840
some conferences and things going on that Jackie was a part of organizing, and God kept telling

194
00:12:49.840 --> 00:12:54.160
Jackie that Candice was going to be there, and she needed healing. Well, she didn't know which

195
00:12:54.160 --> 00:13:00.480
conference, she didn't know who Candice was, and how to find Candice, but see God knew exactly who

196
00:13:00.480 --> 00:13:08.240
Candice was. He knew how to connect Jackie to Candice, and all of the things. Candice ended up

197
00:13:08.240 --> 00:13:13.120
being a substitute speaker at one of those conferences, you all. She wasn't even supposed

198
00:13:13.120 --> 00:13:19.760
to be there, but God reordered the steps. See, man plans our ways, but God reorders them, doesn't he?

199
00:13:20.480 --> 00:13:27.920
God, in his loving kindnesses, leads us to repentance, leads us to life, leads us to fullness,

200
00:13:27.920 --> 00:13:36.960
right? So the core of tonight is God knows what you need, God knows where you are, and he knows

201
00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:42.560
how to get you what you need. And again, some of you might be like, okay, yeah, that's great and

202
00:13:42.560 --> 00:13:47.840
everything, but I've been here waiting, and waiting, and waiting for God to do something, and he's not

203
00:13:47.840 --> 00:13:55.840
doing it. I'm waiting, but he's not moving. Well, that is a lie, because God is always moving. Y'all, I

204
00:13:55.840 --> 00:14:02.800
believe God is like fluid. We know that he's God, the Father, Jesus Christ, and the

205
00:14:02.800 --> 00:14:09.120
Holy Spirit. He's always moving. He's always working, and one of the ways I learned this years ago,

206
00:14:09.120 --> 00:14:13.280
and this might sound like such a simple thing, but I'm telling you what, it brought me so much

207
00:14:13.280 --> 00:14:21.200
freedom and so much revelation. I was on a walk, and I've gone on walks a gazillion times, y'all,

208
00:14:21.200 --> 00:14:27.280
but for whatever reason this day, and it's not that I've never noticed insects before either,

209
00:14:27.280 --> 00:14:33.120
but it was like God, like in his love, just highlighted these ants scurrying on the ground

210
00:14:33.120 --> 00:14:41.120
where I was about to step, and all of a sudden, he started talking to me about how he, underneath the

211
00:14:41.120 --> 00:14:47.200
surface, there's all of these insects that we never see, okay? Below the surface, there's all this

212
00:14:47.200 --> 00:14:53.120
stuff going on underneath of there that we cannot see with our eyes if we don't dig into the ground

213
00:14:53.120 --> 00:14:59.760
and dig it up and look at it, right? But it's still there. It's still working. They're so

214
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.520
They're still building their things and all of that.

215
00:15:03.520 --> 00:15:06.520
You could look at it the same way in the sea.

216
00:15:06.520 --> 00:15:09.080
Sometimes the dolphins come up and the whales come up

217
00:15:09.080 --> 00:15:10.680
and all these things, but you know what?

218
00:15:10.680 --> 00:15:14.400
Way down underneath, there's all these sea creatures

219
00:15:14.400 --> 00:15:17.160
that don't come up to the surface, do they?

220
00:15:17.160 --> 00:15:19.380
Now they might get swept out of the ocean and all that.

221
00:15:19.380 --> 00:15:20.880
That's different.

222
00:15:20.880 --> 00:15:23.280
But my point is this.

223
00:15:23.280 --> 00:15:25.720
There's a lot of things that we will never see

224
00:15:25.720 --> 00:15:29.640
with our eyes, but that doesn't mean it's not there,

225
00:15:29.720 --> 00:15:32.240
that it's not working, that God is not working

226
00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:34.520
on your behalf right now.

227
00:15:34.520 --> 00:15:36.720
We know that the Bible declares that Jesus is sitting

228
00:15:36.720 --> 00:15:38.080
at the right hand of the Father,

229
00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:41.320
interceding for us, making intercession.

230
00:15:42.680 --> 00:15:45.200
Think about that tonight, ladies.

231
00:15:45.200 --> 00:15:48.440
Jesus is sitting at the right hand of the Father

232
00:15:48.440 --> 00:15:51.560
for you, interceding tonight.

233
00:15:54.600 --> 00:15:56.600
He loves you, he cares about you,

234
00:15:56.600 --> 00:15:59.000
he wants to see you walk into the fullness

235
00:15:59.000 --> 00:16:00.680
of God's plans and purposes for you.

236
00:16:00.680 --> 00:16:03.720
Remember, we're talking about the original plan

237
00:16:03.720 --> 00:16:06.280
and design that God had for you when he created you

238
00:16:06.280 --> 00:16:08.720
before trauma or wounds ever entered your life.

239
00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:11.600
God wants to lead you into that plan

240
00:16:12.960 --> 00:16:14.800
because it's a glorious plan.

241
00:16:17.140 --> 00:16:19.680
And we can do it, we can step by step by step.

242
00:16:19.680 --> 00:16:22.840
The more we heal, we can step further into the truths

243
00:16:22.840 --> 00:16:24.600
and the fullness that he has for us.

244
00:16:24.600 --> 00:16:27.880
So I'm asking the Father to reveal to you

245
00:16:27.880 --> 00:16:30.040
any areas that you are struggling to believe

246
00:16:30.040 --> 00:16:33.100
that God not only cares about your needs,

247
00:16:33.100 --> 00:16:36.120
but that he also cares about your wants.

248
00:16:37.440 --> 00:16:39.780
I want you to jot down, I'm gonna activate you.

249
00:16:39.780 --> 00:16:41.600
You can put it on your paper first, okay?

250
00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:44.960
But I would like to see even one of them in the chat.

251
00:16:44.960 --> 00:16:49.720
What is something that you want?

252
00:16:49.720 --> 00:16:51.840
Not just a care that you have,

253
00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:53.400
but what is something that you want?

254
00:16:53.400 --> 00:16:55.640
One or two things, jot it down on your paper

255
00:16:55.640 --> 00:16:57.320
and then go ahead and share that in the chat

256
00:16:57.800 --> 00:17:00.120
because I want you to have it on your paper after tonight

257
00:17:00.120 --> 00:17:02.120
so you can reflect on this lesson

258
00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:05.240
and our coaching in days to come.

259
00:17:05.240 --> 00:17:07.480
So I'm gonna give you a few seconds to do that.

260
00:17:07.480 --> 00:17:09.060
And those that are gonna watch this replay,

261
00:17:09.060 --> 00:17:10.760
hi there, we're so glad that you're here.

262
00:17:10.760 --> 00:17:12.480
While the ladies are writing this on their paper,

263
00:17:12.480 --> 00:17:14.040
we encourage you to do the same.

264
00:17:14.040 --> 00:17:15.800
And then even come into the group

265
00:17:15.800 --> 00:17:17.560
and share that with us in the group

266
00:17:17.560 --> 00:17:21.800
so that we can come around you and cheer you on as well.

267
00:17:21.800 --> 00:17:23.560
All right, so ladies, as you can,

268
00:17:23.560 --> 00:17:25.920
go ahead and put those in the chat for us.

269
00:17:25.920 --> 00:17:27.400
Tiffany says, I wanna be able to afford

270
00:17:27.400 --> 00:17:29.360
to go see my son for a great trip,

271
00:17:29.360 --> 00:17:32.280
be able to treat him, I love that, I wanna graduate.

272
00:17:32.280 --> 00:17:36.480
Cleo says, with my BSN this year, awesome.

273
00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:37.400
Anyone else?

274
00:17:38.320 --> 00:17:40.080
And I know it takes time to write it on your paper

275
00:17:40.080 --> 00:17:43.580
then come in here, so not rushing you.

276
00:17:43.580 --> 00:17:46.640
Chrissy wants a home of her own, be debt-free,

277
00:17:46.640 --> 00:17:50.340
a home with a washer and dryer, okay, love that.

278
00:17:50.340 --> 00:17:53.980
Financial freedom and a happy family, purchase a house,

279
00:17:53.980 --> 00:17:56.460
my own home and be able to spend more time in person

280
00:17:56.460 --> 00:18:00.260
with my mom, a relaxing vacation, family.

281
00:18:01.860 --> 00:18:03.020
Yes, Lord.

282
00:18:04.140 --> 00:18:05.120
Anyone else?

283
00:18:06.500 --> 00:18:08.780
Wanna buy my own home and pay off debt.

284
00:18:11.300 --> 00:18:14.140
Financial overflow, restoration of my family.

285
00:18:14.140 --> 00:18:15.260
Go ahead and keep putting those in the chat,

286
00:18:15.260 --> 00:18:16.500
I'm gonna keep going.

287
00:18:16.500 --> 00:18:21.220
As you start to resonate and partner with your wants,

288
00:18:21.220 --> 00:18:23.720
you have cares too, but the reason I'm going

289
00:18:24.460 --> 00:18:25.760
after the wants tonight is because that's something

290
00:18:25.760 --> 00:18:27.880
that God really spoke to me about.

291
00:18:27.880 --> 00:18:29.600
I mean, there were so many things in my heart work,

292
00:18:29.600 --> 00:18:31.720
y'all, for those of you that have just met me,

293
00:18:31.720 --> 00:18:34.000
you don't know this, but I went through the heart work

294
00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:38.120
years ago, back in 2021, and God radically,

295
00:18:38.120 --> 00:18:40.720
I had already done a lot of counseling and coaching

296
00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:43.680
and those were all powerful and got me to where I was

297
00:18:43.680 --> 00:18:46.120
when I came into the program, and I was ripe

298
00:18:46.120 --> 00:18:48.800
for the pickin', y'all, I was, and God knew it,

299
00:18:48.800 --> 00:18:50.360
and everything that he poured into me,

300
00:18:50.360 --> 00:18:52.240
I was just like left and right, I was just getting

301
00:18:52.240 --> 00:18:53.600
breakthrough and breakthrough, and some of it

302
00:18:54.440 --> 00:18:57.000
was not easy, some of it came through listening

303
00:18:57.000 --> 00:18:59.840
to the videos over and over and over,

304
00:18:59.840 --> 00:19:02.280
and each time gleaning one little tidbit

305
00:19:02.280 --> 00:19:05.920
that took me another step closer to the breakthrough

306
00:19:05.920 --> 00:19:08.620
and the freedom, so I want y'all to hear me.

307
00:19:08.620 --> 00:19:10.760
Sometimes the first time you listen to the video,

308
00:19:10.760 --> 00:19:12.600
you might not get that breakthrough,

309
00:19:12.600 --> 00:19:16.920
but it deposits some truth in you that helps prepare you

310
00:19:16.920 --> 00:19:19.960
for the next seed to be deposited.

311
00:19:20.960 --> 00:19:25.960
But there were a lot of things that I didn't understand,

312
00:19:26.040 --> 00:19:29.720
because years ago, I am a success story

313
00:19:29.720 --> 00:19:31.880
out of the community, I was gonna say that too,

314
00:19:31.880 --> 00:19:34.960
I've been married, Brian and I have been married

315
00:19:34.960 --> 00:19:37.660
three and a half years now, I think that's right,

316
00:19:37.660 --> 00:19:41.320
I can't, we were married in 2022, y'all, September,

317
00:19:41.320 --> 00:19:45.480
I think that's three and a half, but one of the things

318
00:19:45.480 --> 00:19:49.800
I did not understand is years ago, I was dating a guy,

319
00:19:50.640 --> 00:19:51.880
my spiritual daughter's dad, I refer to my spiritual

320
00:19:51.880 --> 00:19:53.720
daughters a lot, so those of you that get to know me,

321
00:19:53.720 --> 00:19:56.800
you'll hear me talk about them quite a bit.

322
00:19:57.720 --> 00:19:59.480
But I wanted to marry their dad.

323
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.500
I begged God for it, pleaded with God for it.

324
00:20:04.500 --> 00:20:08.700
I wanted God to change him so that we could be together.

325
00:20:08.700 --> 00:20:13.300
But y'all, that isn't what God had planned, and thank God he didn't.

326
00:20:13.300 --> 00:20:22.800
He protected me from something that would have literally destroyed me more than my prior marriage had.

327
00:20:22.800 --> 00:20:26.200
But I didn't know what I didn't know, and even when I knew things,

328
00:20:26.200 --> 00:20:30.400
I started seeing and learning the truth of the kind of guy he was.

329
00:20:30.400 --> 00:20:33.000
He had very little character.

330
00:20:33.000 --> 00:20:40.100
He was not an honest man, and he had no desire for marriage at all.

331
00:20:40.100 --> 00:20:47.800
And I just could not get away from who I originally saw and thought this person was.

332
00:20:47.800 --> 00:20:51.100
And so I just kept waiting for that person to come back,

333
00:20:51.100 --> 00:20:56.000
because even though it wasn't real for years,

334
00:20:56.000 --> 00:21:00.900
there was this glimpse of something that I thought I saw in the first month.

335
00:21:00.900 --> 00:21:05.700
That's about how long it was before the real guy started surfacing.

336
00:21:05.700 --> 00:21:09.000
Okay?

337
00:21:09.000 --> 00:21:13.000
But instead of letting that go, and there's reasons that I didn't, and you guys will learn some of this,

338
00:21:13.000 --> 00:21:17.100
but part of it is I had already lost my stepson from my former marriage,

339
00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:24.700
and the enemy really used the girls in that relationship to lure me in and keep me there.

340
00:21:24.700 --> 00:21:26.000
Now, I love those girls.

341
00:21:26.000 --> 00:21:31.500
I absolutely believe that God brought me into their life and that God brought them into mine.

342
00:21:31.500 --> 00:21:32.600
They're still in my life.

343
00:21:32.600 --> 00:21:34.900
I love them. Super close to them.

344
00:21:34.900 --> 00:21:39.600
But I do not believe God had all of that pain in store for me.

345
00:21:39.600 --> 00:21:47.400
I chose to pass red flags and I stayed. Multiple times.

346
00:21:47.400 --> 00:21:54.400
But back then, I believed the lie that God did not care about me.

347
00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:58.600
Because if he did, God, you would change him.

348
00:21:58.600 --> 00:22:03.100
And I'm not even saying that God wasn't working in his life in some way,

349
00:22:03.100 --> 00:22:10.600
but I had an expectation of how it all should look and how it all should play out.

350
00:22:10.600 --> 00:22:16.600
And because God wasn't doing what I wanted, I believed the lie that God didn't care about me.

351
00:22:16.600 --> 00:22:19.400
And then I began to profess that and partner with it.

352
00:22:19.400 --> 00:22:22.600
You know, it says the things that we meditate on in our hearts,

353
00:22:22.600 --> 00:22:27.400
out of the overflow of our hearts, our mouth will speak, and that is how we will live.

354
00:22:27.400 --> 00:22:29.000
And that is what we will partner with.

355
00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:34.500
Even this afternoon, during our one session, one of the ladies was sharing about some things in her life.

356
00:22:34.500 --> 00:22:37.500
And man, I resonated so much with her.

357
00:22:37.500 --> 00:22:40.000
But she was talking about people that had abandoned her.

358
00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:43.500
She was talking about this minister that had said some things to her and used scripture,

359
00:22:43.500 --> 00:22:45.500
that it was not in a healthy way.

360
00:22:45.500 --> 00:22:48.800
And then this person that she was sharing with last night, she was just trying to talk about that.

361
00:22:48.800 --> 00:22:51.500
Well, then they partnered with the guy that said the negative things.

362
00:22:51.500 --> 00:22:58.500
And so there was just all this abandonment and brokenness and whatnot.

363
00:22:58.500 --> 00:23:04.000
And I kept thinking, number one, we all need to consider who we're sharing stuff with, okay?

364
00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:06.000
This is just a sidebar.

365
00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:11.000
We need to really be careful about who we are sharing things with.

366
00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:18.000
Just because someone's been a friend of yours for a long time does not mean they are a safe place for you to share certain things with, okay?

367
00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:21.000
The other thing was, I wrote this note down.

368
00:23:21.000 --> 00:23:27.000
Who is she allowing to inform her identity?

369
00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:31.500
Who is she allowing to inform her identity?

370
00:23:31.500 --> 00:23:34.500
Her ex-husband and the choices he made.

371
00:23:34.500 --> 00:23:38.500
These other people that had betrayed her, that had let her down.

372
00:23:38.500 --> 00:23:43.000
She said, you know, I believe God said, let no man separate what God joins together.

373
00:23:43.000 --> 00:23:44.000
And that's a beautiful thing.

374
00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:46.500
I believed in that, too, when I was married before.

375
00:23:46.500 --> 00:23:47.500
But you know what?

376
00:23:47.500 --> 00:24:00.500
Sometimes we have to see and understand that someone is, like, some relationships are just not healthy for us, okay?

377
00:24:00.500 --> 00:24:01.500
Yeah, to inform.

378
00:24:01.500 --> 00:24:05.500
So who are you allowing to inform your identity?

379
00:24:05.500 --> 00:24:27.500
And the reason I'm bringing this up is because as she was talking, really at the core, as she was saying, like, why would God allow my ex-husband to break his vows, go off with, in her case, it was to go off with another guy and use drugs.

380
00:24:27.500 --> 00:24:31.500
And that's, you know, whether it's a guy or a female lady, it's all betrayal.

381
00:24:31.500 --> 00:24:32.500
But here's the thing.

382
00:24:32.500 --> 00:24:34.500
She also had friend betrayal.

383
00:24:34.500 --> 00:24:35.500
There's betrayal in the past.

384
00:24:35.500 --> 00:24:41.500
But at the core, it was, why would God not just change him?

385
00:24:41.500 --> 00:24:42.500
And I can relate to that.

386
00:24:42.500 --> 00:24:45.500
That's why I'm telling you my story.

387
00:24:45.500 --> 00:24:53.500
And then what happens is we, in that trauma, believe the lie that God doesn't care about us.

388
00:24:53.500 --> 00:24:56.500
Because if he did, he would just change that person.

389
00:24:56.500 --> 00:24:57.500
Well, guess what?

390
00:24:57.500 --> 00:24:58.500
God and his love.

391
00:24:58.500 --> 00:24:59.500
God is love.

392
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.920
of y'all, that is a part of his character. That's who he is. God in his

393
00:25:04.920 --> 00:25:17.040
love, for all of us gives us free will. We all have the ability to choose. Okay,

394
00:25:17.880 --> 00:25:22.540
God is not a dictator. Isn't that great that he's not a dictator that he's not

395
00:25:22.540 --> 00:25:26.600
even dictating to you right now that he loves you so much that he gives you the

396
00:25:26.600 --> 00:25:30.880
ability to choose him, to choose Jesus as your savior, to partner with the Holy

397
00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:36.000
Spirit, to choose how you're going to go about your life. Now he gives us guard

398
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:39.600
rails. He gives us guidelines. He tells us in his word, like, hey, these are the

399
00:25:39.600 --> 00:25:43.120
things to do. These are things that foolish people do choose which way

400
00:25:43.120 --> 00:25:47.960
you're going to go. If you go in the fullness of you walk in the fruits of

401
00:25:47.960 --> 00:25:52.000
the spirit, you become a disciple who makes disciples, you walk close to me,

402
00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:55.560
then it will go well with you. Goodness will follow you all the days of your

403
00:25:55.560 --> 00:26:01.640
life. He tells us these things to tell us the way to go. Not so he's just like,

404
00:26:01.640 --> 00:26:05.240
I just have a bunch of rules that, you know, I'm just gonna stand up there and

405
00:26:05.240 --> 00:26:12.680
be mean and angry if you don't follow them. No. Those are there for guidelines

406
00:26:12.680 --> 00:26:17.480
to direct us to protect us to provide for us to guide us into the fullness of

407
00:26:17.480 --> 00:26:26.200
his blessings and plan. But it's all about how we think about it. So right now

408
00:26:26.200 --> 00:26:29.640
tonight, is there anywhere any area and you don't have to put this in the chat,

409
00:26:29.640 --> 00:26:33.640
but I would encourage you to put it on your paper. Is there any area of your

410
00:26:33.640 --> 00:26:40.120
life that you are partnering with the lie that God does not care about you?

411
00:26:41.640 --> 00:26:45.160
That he doesn't care about what you want, that he doesn't care about how you

412
00:26:45.160 --> 00:26:52.280
feel, that he's withholding from you. Any of those things that come to mind for

413
00:26:52.280 --> 00:26:57.080
you and encourage you to put those on your paper. Let downs, trauma and unhealed

414
00:26:57.080 --> 00:27:01.240
wounds from the past can cause us to view God and others through filters and

415
00:27:01.240 --> 00:27:06.280
false lenses. I share a lot of times, you know, I'll put sunglasses on and it's

416
00:27:06.280 --> 00:27:09.320
just a mini example, but I want you all to think about it in the days ahead. I

417
00:27:09.320 --> 00:27:11.880
don't know if you guys live in the cold area, so you might not be wearing

418
00:27:11.880 --> 00:27:15.800
sunglasses right now, but I live in Florida and it's sunny. It's going to be

419
00:27:15.800 --> 00:27:19.800
a little cooler the next few weeks here, but it's pretty sunny most of the time.

420
00:27:19.800 --> 00:27:24.680
But in general, we put sunglasses on and it can change what we see. The way we

421
00:27:24.680 --> 00:27:29.400
see it, the tone of the color, you know, it might not completely change what we

422
00:27:29.400 --> 00:27:35.880
see, but it's going to change some aspect of it, right? And so these filters and

423
00:27:35.880 --> 00:27:39.960
these false like mindsets, limiting beliefs and the trauma and the lies we

424
00:27:39.960 --> 00:27:44.040
believe as a result of them, they are all like, let's just say, okay, I'm going

425
00:27:44.040 --> 00:27:49.400
to use this example. Okay, here is, I'm going to call this the filter. Okay,

426
00:27:49.400 --> 00:27:54.120
let's say Joanne, I'm going to call her Joanne, is over here and Joanne is saying

427
00:27:54.120 --> 00:27:58.840
something and it's actually kind of nice, but by the time we're going to say that

428
00:27:58.840 --> 00:28:02.840
Melissa, I'm just making up these names, Melissa's over here. So Joanne says

429
00:28:02.840 --> 00:28:09.240
something by the, before it gets to Melissa, what's it hitting? The filter,

430
00:28:10.280 --> 00:28:16.600
right? So sometimes we are hearing things that someone is saying through this

431
00:28:16.600 --> 00:28:23.160
filter of the lies we believe. So by the time it gets to Melissa, she hears

432
00:28:23.160 --> 00:28:27.000
something entirely different. I'm not saying that's always true, but I'm saying

433
00:28:27.000 --> 00:28:34.360
it happens a lot. Even myself, I've been coaching this. You guys would not

434
00:28:34.360 --> 00:28:38.360
believe how many times I'm like, wait a minute. Why did that just trigger me?

435
00:28:39.160 --> 00:28:43.320
Why did that just offend me? Even this weekend, I was in a training session

436
00:28:43.320 --> 00:28:47.080
for like church, you know, things that we're working on and, and something

437
00:28:47.080 --> 00:28:52.600
the guy said, it didn't necessarily offend me personally, but it, it offended

438
00:28:52.600 --> 00:28:59.480
some prior hurt that I have regarding comments made about different denominations

439
00:29:00.840 --> 00:29:07.960
and that offended me. Okay. So I have to look at like, I don't have to, but God invites us

440
00:29:08.680 --> 00:29:13.640
to look at those things. If we will be willing to look at what is coming to the surface,

441
00:29:14.920 --> 00:29:19.240
there's so much that we can learn about ourselves and about God and other people.

442
00:29:19.240 --> 00:29:25.000
If we are willing to surrender it all to the Lord and ask for his insight, I want to really

443
00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.880
encourage you all get very good at asking God good questions. One of the best questions you

444
00:29:29.880 --> 00:29:34.360
can ask him is something like what I just said, Lord, why am I getting triggered by this right

445
00:29:34.360 --> 00:29:41.240
now? Why is this offending me? Why are my, why am I, you know, for some of us, something happens

446
00:29:41.240 --> 00:29:47.720
in our, our emotions are big. We're having these big, you know, and I'm not saying that's bad.

447
00:29:47.800 --> 00:29:54.360
You all, because some of us have big feeling emotions, but God wants to bring us into balance.

448
00:29:56.440 --> 00:29:59.960
So maybe it's anger. Maybe it's, you know, fear, big emotions.

449
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.640
Maybe it's crying. Whatever it is that we would look at those things and allow God to heal us and transform us.

450
00:30:06.640 --> 00:30:14.240
Number is 2319. I'm going to read two versions to you because I really love to look at this scripture side-by-side.

451
00:30:14.240 --> 00:30:15.640
The first one is King James. It says,

452
00:30:15.640 --> 00:30:22.840
God is not a man that he should lie, neither the son of man that he should repent.

453
00:30:22.840 --> 00:30:29.880
Hath he said, and shall he not do it? Or hath he spoken, and shall he not make good?

454
00:30:29.880 --> 00:30:35.640
Same scripture, numbers 2319, and the message translation says this.

455
00:30:35.640 --> 00:30:40.480
God is not a man, one given to lies, and not a son of man changing his mind.

456
00:30:40.480 --> 00:30:47.520
Does he speak and not do what he says? Does he promise and not come through?

457
00:30:47.520 --> 00:30:55.200
Why don't you think about that? Does he promise and not come through? Is that what you believe?

458
00:30:55.200 --> 00:31:02.480
It actually says here, he's not a man that he, he can't even lie you all. He can't.

459
00:31:02.480 --> 00:31:08.400
I want you to really meditate on that and think about it this week. God can not lie.

460
00:31:11.360 --> 00:31:18.880
Right? Psalm 3116 says this, let your face shine on your servant. Save me in your unfailing love

461
00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:26.480
for thy mercy's sake, which is that unfailing love there is mercy's sake, but it's also goodness,

462
00:31:26.480 --> 00:31:32.480
kindness, faithfulness, merciful. God literally is like, you know, the psalmist here is praying

463
00:31:32.480 --> 00:31:37.360
and he's like, let your face shine on me and save me in your unfailing love because your love is

464
00:31:37.360 --> 00:31:43.040
kindness. Your love that's unfailing is goodness towards me. It's faithfulness. And you're always

465
00:31:43.040 --> 00:31:50.560
merciful to me, Lord. He's crying out to God and he's declaring these truths about God's character.

466
00:31:50.720 --> 00:31:57.520
Psalm 3210 says, many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the one

467
00:31:57.520 --> 00:32:04.000
who trusts in him. Again, unfailing love, there is mercy that shall compass about him. I want you to

468
00:32:04.000 --> 00:32:10.000
imagine yourself, if you can kind of just close your eyes for a second and just imagine literally

469
00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:19.200
and just imagine literally God surrounding you with his mercy right now, just surrounding you

470
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:28.480
like on every side. And that's representing his unfailing love. It means he's on every side.

471
00:32:28.480 --> 00:32:31.840
He's in the front. He's in the back. He's on the right. He's on the left.

472
00:32:33.760 --> 00:32:38.320
The word declares that he will also hide us under the shadow of his wings.

473
00:32:39.280 --> 00:32:46.320
And in the presence of the almighty, this is the God that we serve. Feel the Holy Spirit on this.

474
00:32:49.840 --> 00:32:53.120
Some of you have really been struggling to believe that God loves you,

475
00:32:53.920 --> 00:32:58.960
that he's protecting you, that he wants to provide for you and be kind to you.

476
00:32:59.520 --> 00:33:04.080
So I want you to soak this in. If that's you, God's trying to say, I've seen you all along,

477
00:33:04.080 --> 00:33:09.200
and I've been not only rooting for you and cheering you on, but I am orchestrating things

478
00:33:09.200 --> 00:33:14.160
behind the scenes that even right now, you could not even ask, think, or imagine how amazing they're

479
00:33:14.160 --> 00:33:23.280
going to be. I can say these things because I'm living it out. My life isn't perfect. I still

480
00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:30.560
I'm living it out. My life isn't perfect. I still struggle. My girls are going through things every

481
00:33:30.560 --> 00:33:39.440
single day that I wish they weren't, but God is faithful. God is faithful. Psalm 33, verse 5,

482
00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:44.480
and I'm going to do verse 18 and verse 22 says, the Lord loves righteousness and justice. The

483
00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:50.880
earth is full of his unfailing love of the goodness of the Lord. But the eyes of the Lord,

484
00:33:50.960 --> 00:33:58.320
verse 18, are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love. And this,

485
00:33:58.320 --> 00:34:02.720
it actually means mercy. So here we have verse 5, unfailing love is the goodness of the Lord.

486
00:34:02.720 --> 00:34:09.679
Verse 18, unfailing love is mercy. Verse 22, may your unfailing love be with us, Lord,

487
00:34:10.480 --> 00:34:16.400
even as we put our hope in you. Unfailing love here is mercy and goodness combined.

488
00:34:17.360 --> 00:34:22.880
How cool is that? I know sometimes we don't slow down enough, and no fault, you know, a lot of

489
00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:28.719
people don't know how to study scripture, but you know, looking a little bit beneath the surface,

490
00:34:28.719 --> 00:34:36.400
and like, what does that really say to us? I always love to read the lyrics of this song

491
00:34:36.400 --> 00:34:40.480
called Sparrows by Corey Asbury. You guys have probably heard it before. If you haven't,

492
00:34:40.480 --> 00:34:44.560
I really encourage, well either way, I encourage you to listen to it again with some fresh ears

493
00:34:44.719 --> 00:34:49.760
after you hear tonight's session, and not just think, oh, that's a cute little song,

494
00:34:50.880 --> 00:34:56.239
but I want you to really think about, you know, when you look at birds, we did this,

495
00:34:56.239 --> 00:34:59.840
it's been a while, but I encourage people when I

496
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:07.440
this session a few months back just to start really noticing the birds. Just slowing down,

497
00:35:09.360 --> 00:35:13.280
noticing the birds. And again, if you're in wintertime, there's still birds that tend to be

498
00:35:13.280 --> 00:35:17.760
out, but you might not see as many. But just that you would ask God to help you notice them.

499
00:35:19.200 --> 00:35:26.240
And here's why. Because you know what? Think about it. God takes care of the sparrow.

500
00:35:26.240 --> 00:35:35.840
It says that God takes care of the sparrow. How much more will he take care of us? This is what

501
00:35:35.840 --> 00:35:42.640
the song says. The sparrow's not worried about tomorrow or the troubles to come. The lily is

502
00:35:42.640 --> 00:35:48.160
not thinking about the seasons, the drought, or the flood. A tree that's planted by water

503
00:35:48.880 --> 00:35:56.000
isn't fazed by the fire. So why should I be? Because you take good care of me. You take good

504
00:35:56.000 --> 00:36:02.960
care of me. You know what I need before I even ask a thing. And you hold me in your hands with

505
00:36:02.960 --> 00:36:10.320
a kindness that never ends. I'm carried in your love no matter what the future brings. Yeah,

506
00:36:10.320 --> 00:36:15.760
you take good care of me. The sun is not worried about the winter because soon it will pass. The

507
00:36:15.760 --> 00:36:22.000
light is not thinking about the darkness or the shadow that it cast. A heart that is planted in

508
00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:31.280
forgiveness does not dwell in the past. So why should I be? Because you, God, take good care of

509
00:36:31.280 --> 00:36:36.080
me. You take good care of me. You know what I need before I even ask a thing. And you hold me in your

510
00:36:36.080 --> 00:36:43.760
hands with a kindness that never ends. I am carried in your love no matter what the future brings.

511
00:36:44.560 --> 00:36:46.000
Yeah, you take good care of me.

512
00:36:49.680 --> 00:36:57.040
A heart that is planted in forgiveness does not dwell in the past. So why are we?

513
00:36:58.560 --> 00:37:02.560
I know for some of you people have done terrible things that have hurt you deeply.

514
00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:08.080
If you were on our session last night, you know, we're even talking about and addressing the pain

515
00:37:08.080 --> 00:37:15.840
that happens in church so often. People are imperfect, you all, okay? They are. We're all

516
00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:22.880
broken. We all make mistakes. It does not excuse it, but the reality is that. We all have flesh.

517
00:37:22.880 --> 00:37:28.480
We all fall short. God doesn't want us to put people on pedestals, even our leaders.

518
00:37:32.800 --> 00:37:36.000
For some of you, you put parents on pedestals and they let you down.

519
00:37:36.560 --> 00:37:37.760
I just heard the Lord say that.

520
00:37:40.480 --> 00:37:43.440
And because of that, you believe God is not good to you.

521
00:37:47.200 --> 00:37:51.600
So I believe God is saying tonight that he wants you to forgive those people that have hurt you,

522
00:37:52.400 --> 00:37:58.400
that have let you down. You know, that you really, it really caused you to struggle and believe that

523
00:37:58.400 --> 00:38:03.760
God would not and could not even. Some of you actually believe God cannot provide. That's a

524
00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:13.680
whole nother layer, but we serve a mighty God. We serve a God that has everything in all of

525
00:38:13.680 --> 00:38:20.400
creation that he made. He has all resources, but because of things that we went through,

526
00:38:21.600 --> 00:38:24.720
we don't even know if God has things to bring to us.

527
00:38:25.520 --> 00:38:31.520
Some people grow up and lack in poverty mindsets, and they apply that to God like he is a God that

528
00:38:31.520 --> 00:38:40.080
doesn't have things. It's kind of like the woman with the, you know, she was begging for crumbs.

529
00:38:41.680 --> 00:38:48.720
I talk about that a lot in my coaching. She's begging for crumbs because she didn't believe

530
00:38:49.680 --> 00:38:52.000
because she didn't believe she deserved any better.

531
00:38:55.760 --> 00:38:59.920
But God wants to say to you tonight, like, I love to tell this story, and I want you guys to kind

532
00:38:59.920 --> 00:39:04.080
of just envision it, like, and if it helps you to picture, even though you don't know me,

533
00:39:04.880 --> 00:39:09.280
to first take this step, just think about, you guys can't see, but I'm at this long table in

534
00:39:09.280 --> 00:39:16.720
my dining room, and I have several chairs here at the table with me. And imagine that every one of

535
00:39:16.720 --> 00:39:24.080
these chairs is for one of you. Now there's a lot of you here, but we can make space. And my table

536
00:39:24.080 --> 00:39:29.760
is, it's not right now, my table is actually full of paper, but imagine that it's full of lots of

537
00:39:29.760 --> 00:39:38.480
bountiful food and blessings and goodness and mercy, whatever it is that you need tonight.

538
00:39:39.840 --> 00:39:44.000
And that I'm saying to you, and I believe God is saying to you through this example,

539
00:39:44.800 --> 00:39:48.800
hey, what are, wait, what are you doing down there?

540
00:39:51.920 --> 00:39:56.320
What are you doing down, Chrissy, what are you doing down underneath the table? You don't belong

541
00:39:56.320 --> 00:39:59.680
there. Come up here and sit down.

542
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.320
Come up here and sit in the seat.

543
00:40:03.320 --> 00:40:04.840
Literally, you all, that's what it's like.

544
00:40:04.840 --> 00:40:07.280
Some of us are spiritually in that place.

545
00:40:09.040 --> 00:40:11.560
And it might not be that you're actually physically

546
00:40:11.560 --> 00:40:14.040
under the table, but even like I started tonight's session,

547
00:40:14.040 --> 00:40:16.000
some of you are hiding,

548
00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:19.840
because pain led you into isolation,

549
00:40:19.840 --> 00:40:21.120
led you to pull back,

550
00:40:21.120 --> 00:40:23.720
led you to shut down aspects of yourself,

551
00:40:23.720 --> 00:40:25.520
to stop believing in God's goodness.

552
00:40:25.520 --> 00:40:28.080
Your hope meter, your tank is empty.

553
00:40:28.080 --> 00:40:30.680
Hope deferred makes the heart sick.

554
00:40:32.520 --> 00:40:34.680
But keep reading in that scripture.

555
00:40:34.680 --> 00:40:36.520
I'm gonna give that as an assignment,

556
00:40:36.520 --> 00:40:37.520
because I didn't bring it with me.

557
00:40:37.520 --> 00:40:39.080
It's just coming up in my spirit.

558
00:40:39.080 --> 00:40:42.200
But like, you know, there's abundance that comes

559
00:40:42.200 --> 00:40:44.840
to the tree that's planted, right?

560
00:40:44.840 --> 00:40:46.360
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, yeah,

561
00:40:46.360 --> 00:40:48.400
but okay, what's the other side of that?

562
00:40:49.360 --> 00:40:52.240
I think like even the body of Christ, we focus too much.

563
00:40:52.240 --> 00:40:53.160
Yes, it is true.

564
00:40:53.160 --> 00:40:54.880
Hope deferred does make the heart sick.

565
00:40:54.880 --> 00:40:56.320
That is a real thing.

566
00:40:57.200 --> 00:40:59.600
But why do we stop there?

567
00:41:01.160 --> 00:41:02.960
God wants to fill your tank tonight.

568
00:41:02.960 --> 00:41:06.160
He wants to come in and just pour just a bunch of hope

569
00:41:06.160 --> 00:41:09.200
and truth and life into your tank

570
00:41:09.200 --> 00:41:13.080
so that you can partner with the promise of his blessings

571
00:41:13.080 --> 00:41:14.400
in life and hope for you.

572
00:41:15.320 --> 00:41:17.600
And that is why, you know, so many of you are like,

573
00:41:17.600 --> 00:41:19.040
well, why is this time any different?

574
00:41:19.040 --> 00:41:19.880
Some of you are like,

575
00:41:19.880 --> 00:41:21.840
I don't even know if this is gonna really work.

576
00:41:21.840 --> 00:41:23.480
Some of you are just here for heart healing.

577
00:41:23.480 --> 00:41:24.440
That's totally fine.

578
00:41:24.480 --> 00:41:27.480
But some of you have come here into our community

579
00:41:27.480 --> 00:41:30.200
because you do desire to find a spirit mate.

580
00:41:30.200 --> 00:41:32.600
And some of you will try to fly through heart work.

581
00:41:32.600 --> 00:41:35.000
I hope you don't, but some of you will try.

582
00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:36.320
And we're gonna have to lovingly say,

583
00:41:36.320 --> 00:41:37.960
hey, why are you going so fast?

584
00:41:38.960 --> 00:41:40.000
Because some people come in

585
00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:41.520
and they just wanna get to the boys.

586
00:41:41.520 --> 00:41:43.480
They just want the men.

587
00:41:43.480 --> 00:41:45.120
Well, y'all, that doesn't work, okay?

588
00:41:45.120 --> 00:41:49.300
So I'm just spoiler alert, it doesn't work.

589
00:41:49.300 --> 00:41:50.800
Those people end up picking people

590
00:41:50.800 --> 00:41:52.500
that are unhealthy all over again.

591
00:41:53.340 --> 00:41:57.700
So, enjoy this time.

592
00:41:57.700 --> 00:41:59.740
Let God work in your heart.

593
00:41:59.740 --> 00:42:00.900
Follow the process.

594
00:42:00.900 --> 00:42:04.280
We encourage you to do one week of content per week.

595
00:42:04.280 --> 00:42:05.340
No faster than that.

596
00:42:05.340 --> 00:42:07.320
If you take longer than that, that's fine.

597
00:42:07.320 --> 00:42:10.300
But some of you even will get a lot of distractions

598
00:42:10.300 --> 00:42:12.420
popping up that enemy will just keep sending them

599
00:42:12.420 --> 00:42:13.500
and sending them and sending them

600
00:42:13.500 --> 00:42:16.060
to try to keep you from moving forward in your heart work.

601
00:42:16.060 --> 00:42:16.980
There's no shame.

602
00:42:16.980 --> 00:42:18.260
I'm not saying that to bring guilt

603
00:42:18.260 --> 00:42:19.920
or condemnation or anything.

604
00:42:19.920 --> 00:42:22.460
But I want you, if any of you have been here

605
00:42:23.300 --> 00:42:25.580
for more than a year,

606
00:42:25.580 --> 00:42:28.340
I want you to really ask God, why?

607
00:42:29.500 --> 00:42:32.180
Why are you, is it because you still need more healing?

608
00:42:32.180 --> 00:42:34.340
Because you were just, you went through so much trauma

609
00:42:34.340 --> 00:42:35.940
and that's totally fine.

610
00:42:35.940 --> 00:42:38.980
Again, this isn't because we're like, get out of here.

611
00:42:38.980 --> 00:42:40.020
We're not.

612
00:42:40.020 --> 00:42:44.780
But it is me lovingly saying, the enemy is holding you back.

613
00:42:46.900 --> 00:42:48.060
What's at the root of that?

614
00:42:48.060 --> 00:42:50.140
I want you to ask God to help you uncover

615
00:42:50.140 --> 00:42:52.740
the root of what's really keeping you

616
00:42:53.860 --> 00:42:56.460
from doing the heart work.

617
00:42:56.460 --> 00:42:59.580
And if I'm, I'll just tell him myself a little bit,

618
00:42:59.580 --> 00:43:04.140
sometimes heart work can be overwhelming, right?

619
00:43:05.260 --> 00:43:06.980
Some of y'all are gonna do this heart work

620
00:43:06.980 --> 00:43:08.020
and you're gonna be like, oh my gosh,

621
00:43:08.020 --> 00:43:09.500
this is so overwhelming.

622
00:43:09.500 --> 00:43:10.980
I have so many people to forgive.

623
00:43:10.980 --> 00:43:12.380
There's so much to work through.

624
00:43:12.380 --> 00:43:15.220
And I want you to just take that overwhelm

625
00:43:15.220 --> 00:43:17.220
and give it back to the Lord and say,

626
00:43:17.220 --> 00:43:19.340
Lord, I feel overwhelmed.

627
00:43:19.340 --> 00:43:21.660
What's at the root of this?

628
00:43:21.660 --> 00:43:23.660
You know, what's really going on in me?

629
00:43:23.660 --> 00:43:25.300
Is there something I'm trying to avoid?

630
00:43:25.300 --> 00:43:27.540
Is there something I'm afraid to face?

631
00:43:28.380 --> 00:43:30.940
When was the first time I felt overwhelmed in my life

632
00:43:30.940 --> 00:43:33.940
and started shutting down instead of moving forward?

633
00:43:35.980 --> 00:43:38.780
Okay, even if you're brand new, that might happen to you.

634
00:43:40.060 --> 00:43:41.700
But I wanna encourage you that God's gonna see you

635
00:43:41.700 --> 00:43:42.580
all the way through.

636
00:43:42.580 --> 00:43:44.860
Just don't give up.

637
00:43:44.860 --> 00:43:47.860
I encourage everyone, do one thing every single day

638
00:43:47.860 --> 00:43:49.300
to move forward in your heart work.

639
00:43:50.100 --> 00:43:50.940
Just do one thing.

640
00:43:50.940 --> 00:43:51.780
We give you more than that,

641
00:43:51.780 --> 00:43:55.020
but if you can't do the stuff that we give you

642
00:43:55.020 --> 00:43:56.420
within a week timeframe,

643
00:43:56.420 --> 00:43:58.500
I just want you to just little by little,

644
00:43:58.500 --> 00:43:59.660
just keep moving forward

645
00:43:59.660 --> 00:44:04.460
because you will make it there if you do that, okay?

646
00:44:05.940 --> 00:44:09.100
And some of you, unfortunately, might go through things

647
00:44:09.100 --> 00:44:11.020
where you do have to take a break.

648
00:44:11.020 --> 00:44:13.340
You might have a loved one that passes away

649
00:44:13.340 --> 00:44:15.860
and you just might need a few weeks to process that.

650
00:44:15.860 --> 00:44:17.660
That is totally okay.

651
00:44:19.300 --> 00:44:24.300
But come back, re-engage, keep moving, okay?

652
00:44:24.500 --> 00:44:28.020
All right, so back to why is this time different?

653
00:44:28.020 --> 00:44:30.340
Well, because we believe that God has brought you here

654
00:44:30.340 --> 00:44:34.940
to heal you, set you free and create a new healthy version

655
00:44:34.940 --> 00:44:37.580
of who he originally created you to be.

656
00:44:37.580 --> 00:44:39.260
So think about this.

657
00:44:40.540 --> 00:44:43.060
Every day you're becoming hopefully someone new

658
00:44:43.060 --> 00:44:46.740
and unbecoming the old version counterfeit identities

659
00:44:46.740 --> 00:44:49.180
that you were carrying and living into.

660
00:44:50.020 --> 00:44:51.580
So why would this be different?

661
00:44:51.580 --> 00:44:54.180
Well, because you're gonna be different.

662
00:44:54.180 --> 00:44:56.900
Y'all, when we show up to the table with new information,

663
00:44:56.900 --> 00:44:59.500
don't we make better decisions?

664
00:44:59.500 --> 00:45:00.340
I do.

665
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.000
And I hope you do too.

666
00:45:03.000 --> 00:45:05.880
Community around you is going to be key for you as well.

667
00:45:05.880 --> 00:45:10.400
This time is different because you have a community that loves you, that's going to

668
00:45:10.400 --> 00:45:12.000
also hold you accountable.

669
00:45:12.000 --> 00:45:16.200
We're going to encourage you like, hey, down the road when you're in our other phases,

670
00:45:16.200 --> 00:45:19.560
if you come in the community and you tell us about the guys you're dating, which is

671
00:45:19.560 --> 00:45:27.600
what we want you to do, and we're like, whoa, sis, that guy, he's no good for you.

672
00:45:27.600 --> 00:45:30.360
We're going to tell you that if that's true.

673
00:45:30.360 --> 00:45:34.680
But if you find a good guy, we're going to also say, hey, why are you trying to cut and

674
00:45:34.680 --> 00:45:35.760
run from this guy?

675
00:45:35.760 --> 00:45:36.760
He's good.

676
00:45:36.760 --> 00:45:39.520
These are all green flags right here.

677
00:45:39.520 --> 00:45:42.440
And that's the power of community.

678
00:45:42.440 --> 00:45:44.840
The same thing is going to be true here in the heart work.

679
00:45:44.840 --> 00:45:47.920
While you're not going to be dating guys, you're going to be processing the more that

680
00:45:47.920 --> 00:45:52.000
you come into the community and share and connect, the more that we can coach you, the

681
00:45:52.000 --> 00:45:56.220
more that we can help you, the more that you're going to be able to process instead of shutting

682
00:45:56.220 --> 00:45:59.340
down and the enemy taking you out.

683
00:45:59.340 --> 00:46:00.940
Allow this time to be different.

684
00:46:00.940 --> 00:46:05.900
Ecclesiastes 3.1 says in the message translation, there's an opportune time to do things right

685
00:46:05.900 --> 00:46:07.940
time for everything on earth.

686
00:46:07.940 --> 00:46:12.700
We believe God has brought each one of you here in his divine design for your life for

687
00:46:12.700 --> 00:46:18.360
such a time as this, that you are here on purpose for a purpose, and God wants to transform

688
00:46:18.360 --> 00:46:19.940
you from the inside out.

689
00:46:19.940 --> 00:46:23.340
Heart change literally does equal life change you all.

690
00:46:23.340 --> 00:46:24.380
It does.

691
00:46:24.380 --> 00:46:25.980
Do you want an upgrade?

692
00:46:25.980 --> 00:46:28.660
Because God wants to give you an upgrade.

693
00:46:28.660 --> 00:46:35.140
Amos 9.13, I'm going to look that up just because it is one of our banner scriptures

694
00:46:35.140 --> 00:46:36.620
as it wasn't planning on saying this.

695
00:46:36.620 --> 00:46:39.740
So give me a second you all.

696
00:46:39.740 --> 00:46:50.220
I still had to read it over you.

697
00:46:50.220 --> 00:46:53.580
I think that was also in the message.

698
00:46:53.580 --> 00:46:54.580
Here we go.

699
00:46:54.580 --> 00:47:01.060
Sorry, I'm trying to find the one that makes it easy to read.

700
00:47:01.060 --> 00:47:02.060
Okay.

701
00:47:02.060 --> 00:47:09.020
Amos 9.13-15 in the message translation says this, yes, indeed, it won't be long now.

702
00:47:09.020 --> 00:47:10.980
God's decree.

703
00:47:10.980 --> 00:47:14.420
Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim.

704
00:47:14.420 --> 00:47:16.940
One thing fast on the heels of the other.

705
00:47:16.940 --> 00:47:18.820
You won't be able to keep up.

706
00:47:18.820 --> 00:47:24.820
Everything will be happening at once and everywhere you look, blessings.

707
00:47:24.820 --> 00:47:28.020
Blessings like wine pouring off the mountains and the hills.

708
00:47:28.020 --> 00:47:32.100
I'll make everything right again for my people Israel.

709
00:47:32.100 --> 00:47:33.540
They'll rebuild their ruined cities.

710
00:47:33.540 --> 00:47:35.340
They'll plant vineyards and drink good wine.

711
00:47:35.340 --> 00:47:39.620
They'll work their gardens and eat fresh vegetables and I'll plant them.

712
00:47:39.620 --> 00:47:41.020
Plant them on their own land.

713
00:47:41.020 --> 00:47:46.740
They'll never again be uprooted from the land I have given them.

714
00:47:46.740 --> 00:47:51.220
God your God says so.

715
00:47:51.220 --> 00:47:57.620
That is one of our banner scriptures and I encourage you to really hold on to that.

716
00:47:57.620 --> 00:48:01.300
That God is going to have blessings upon blessings upon blessings.

717
00:48:01.300 --> 00:48:03.800
And yes, you might face trials and tribulation.

718
00:48:03.800 --> 00:48:05.860
You might face obstacles as well.

719
00:48:05.860 --> 00:48:10.260
But if you will, again, hang in there, come into the group, tell us you need prayer, whatever

720
00:48:10.260 --> 00:48:11.260
that looks like.

721
00:48:11.260 --> 00:48:13.380
We're going to stand in the gap with you.

722
00:48:13.500 --> 00:48:18.700
But God wants you to come in believing and expecting and looking up to heaven.

723
00:48:18.700 --> 00:48:21.140
Where does your help come from?

724
00:48:21.140 --> 00:48:25.780
It comes from the maker of heaven and earth.

725
00:48:25.780 --> 00:48:28.620
Real and lasting change is a process you all.

726
00:48:28.620 --> 00:48:36.740
Okay, it's not going to be like microwave 30 seconds and you're just like Chantella

727
00:48:36.740 --> 00:48:39.060
made new.

728
00:48:39.060 --> 00:48:41.380
I love to use people's names because they're like, wait, what?

729
00:48:41.380 --> 00:48:45.020
How do you say my name?

730
00:48:45.020 --> 00:48:46.220
That just made me think of that.

731
00:48:46.220 --> 00:48:52.380
You know, my name, you know, my name, that song that made me think of that.

732
00:48:52.380 --> 00:48:57.180
But yeah, we live in this microwave culture, this place where everybody wants everything

733
00:48:57.180 --> 00:48:58.180
yesterday.

734
00:48:58.180 --> 00:49:02.300
We go through a drive through and then if we're sitting there for 30 seconds, we're

735
00:49:02.300 --> 00:49:05.060
like, what's taking them so long?

736
00:49:05.060 --> 00:49:06.060
Don't we?

737
00:49:06.060 --> 00:49:07.060
I do it.

738
00:49:07.060 --> 00:49:11.660
And again, I'm telling myself I have to, I have to watch myself because of the way

739
00:49:11.660 --> 00:49:13.580
that our society is now.

740
00:49:13.580 --> 00:49:17.260
Even I am like, I just want everything fast, fast.

741
00:49:17.260 --> 00:49:18.260
I don't want to wait.

742
00:49:18.260 --> 00:49:23.060
I started years ago when they, um, you know, we're getting rid of all the cashiers and

743
00:49:23.060 --> 00:49:26.300
they started putting in those, you know, checkout, check yourself out.

744
00:49:26.300 --> 00:49:27.300
I was like, this is awesome.

745
00:49:27.300 --> 00:49:28.740
I don't have to wait for anybody.

746
00:49:28.740 --> 00:49:30.940
I can just do it myself.

747
00:49:30.940 --> 00:49:36.020
And then I started thinking, wait a minute, they tricked us.

748
00:49:37.020 --> 00:49:42.860
And y'all sometime I do still go through the checkout if I have a couple of things, but

749
00:49:42.860 --> 00:49:49.740
if I don't, I actually started like waiting, making myself wait and getting in line because

750
00:49:49.740 --> 00:49:53.660
I started realizing all the people that lost jobs.

751
00:49:53.660 --> 00:50:00.020
I started just thinking about, here I am checking myself out all the time.

752
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.080
And when it really hit, and I don't know why I'm sharing this story,

753
00:50:03.080 --> 00:50:06.640
but I believe, you know, God can work out all that to say something to somebody.

754
00:50:06.880 --> 00:50:12.320
But the one night that it really hit me, I was in a store and I won't say the

755
00:50:12.320 --> 00:50:18.800
store's name, but when I walked in, I was going to shop for groceries for a few

756
00:50:18.800 --> 00:50:19.440
weeks time.

757
00:50:19.920 --> 00:50:20.160
Okay.

758
00:50:20.160 --> 00:50:22.320
So y'all full cart.

759
00:50:23.120 --> 00:50:28.560
I went through my shopping, ba, ba, ba, I'm having a great time, really calm.

760
00:50:29.040 --> 00:50:38.320
And then I get to the checkout area and you all, the, the checkout things,

761
00:50:38.400 --> 00:50:41.320
literally, there's not one person to check anybody out.

762
00:50:41.680 --> 00:50:46.800
Not one, no people only check yourself out.

763
00:50:47.760 --> 00:50:52.240
And I'm like, Oh my gosh, I have this huge cart full of stuff.

764
00:50:52.280 --> 00:50:54.160
I cannot believe this right now.

765
00:50:54.960 --> 00:50:58.160
And you know, I did, I checked myself out, but I was, I, in that moment,

766
00:50:58.160 --> 00:51:01.840
I was like, what, again, like, why did we do this to ourselves?

767
00:51:03.120 --> 00:51:05.680
Again, if you love the fast checkout, check yourself.

768
00:51:05.680 --> 00:51:08.960
Maybe you love to be the one to swipe the thing and do all that.

769
00:51:09.200 --> 00:51:13.800
But I like literally had this huge, massive cart and this, and the checkout

770
00:51:13.800 --> 00:51:19.680
was these teeny tiny little checkout areas, or even just this mini, you know,

771
00:51:19.760 --> 00:51:21.720
thing to check yourself out.

772
00:51:21.960 --> 00:51:27.600
I couldn't even fit all my groceries up there, but I had to do it all myself.

773
00:51:29.160 --> 00:51:33.560
But isn't that how we all say, want to do things with God?

774
00:51:33.560 --> 00:51:35.640
Like, we're just like, I just want to do it myself.

775
00:51:35.640 --> 00:51:37.440
I can do this faster than you, God.

776
00:51:37.440 --> 00:51:38.840
And I just, boop, boop, boop.

777
00:51:38.840 --> 00:51:41.560
I can just do it all without anybody helping me.

778
00:51:42.680 --> 00:51:44.680
We even push other people away, don't we?

779
00:51:46.240 --> 00:51:49.640
But God's like, wait a minute, the enemy's tricking you.

780
00:51:50.840 --> 00:51:51.560
He's tricking you.

781
00:51:51.560 --> 00:51:53.880
And he's trying to convince you that you don't need people.

782
00:51:54.880 --> 00:51:55.960
You don't need me.

783
00:51:56.960 --> 00:51:58.400
This is for somebody tonight.

784
00:52:00.120 --> 00:52:01.640
And he's saying, you need me.

785
00:52:02.720 --> 00:52:09.640
I want you to come out of that place of like, I do it myself because I got,

786
00:52:09.640 --> 00:52:13.000
God takes too long or he's, he's messing this up.

787
00:52:14.480 --> 00:52:15.920
This is the right person for me.

788
00:52:15.920 --> 00:52:22.520
I don't know what God's doing, but see, God sees things that we cannot see.

789
00:52:23.280 --> 00:52:24.760
And he knows all things.

790
00:52:26.160 --> 00:52:28.200
He knows the gifts that are in those people.

791
00:52:28.480 --> 00:52:31.320
He knows the good, the bad, the ugly, the amazing.

792
00:52:31.400 --> 00:52:32.560
He knows it all.

793
00:52:33.880 --> 00:52:37.280
And he's trying to bring you together, not just with a person to get to the

794
00:52:37.280 --> 00:52:41.280
wedding, the altar, he's trying to bring you together with someone that you can

795
00:52:41.280 --> 00:52:46.360
do life with, that you can have supernatural spiritual DNA with and like

796
00:52:46.360 --> 00:52:50.400
run the race with them and have a partner in your life, like someone that's a

797
00:52:50.400 --> 00:52:54.040
teammate, that's what God wants to lead you into.

798
00:52:54.400 --> 00:52:56.640
If you're just looking to get to the altar, y'all, you're going to be

799
00:52:56.640 --> 00:52:58.280
disappointed because that's amazing.

800
00:52:58.280 --> 00:53:01.840
But it's over in like that it's over quick.

801
00:53:04.440 --> 00:53:06.520
And it's a beautiful, we had a beautiful wedding.

802
00:53:06.520 --> 00:53:07.160
We did.

803
00:53:08.640 --> 00:53:09.320
But you know what?

804
00:53:09.320 --> 00:53:11.200
The wedding comes and goes.

805
00:53:11.760 --> 00:53:18.600
And if you don't have someone that you really enjoy doing life with marriage is

806
00:53:18.600 --> 00:53:20.480
not, it's not fun.

807
00:53:21.480 --> 00:53:24.480
Marriage is going to be hard enough all in and of itself because there's two

808
00:53:24.480 --> 00:53:27.920
people being brought together and God's going to try to make you one.

809
00:53:28.440 --> 00:53:33.160
He's going to use each other to at times, you know, rub off those rough edges.

810
00:53:33.520 --> 00:53:35.920
But I hope a lot of you are going to have a lot of fun too.

811
00:53:36.320 --> 00:53:40.080
For some of you, you've had really bad marriages or bad relationships in the

812
00:53:40.080 --> 00:53:40.480
past.

813
00:53:40.680 --> 00:53:42.440
God wants to redeem that for you.

814
00:53:44.440 --> 00:53:47.920
He wants to guide you into goodness and blessing.

815
00:53:48.880 --> 00:53:49.360
All right.

816
00:53:50.560 --> 00:53:54.280
So where do you currently need an upgrade in your understanding of God's care for

817
00:53:54.280 --> 00:53:54.760
you?

818
00:53:55.080 --> 00:53:59.160
Do you need an upgrade in your ability to believe that good things come from heaven

819
00:53:59.160 --> 00:53:59.720
above?

820
00:54:00.200 --> 00:54:01.840
Maybe that's what your upgrade is.

821
00:54:05.840 --> 00:54:07.040
Let me say this too.

822
00:54:07.120 --> 00:54:11.080
Um, the redemption and marriage and relationships are going to come for you

823
00:54:11.080 --> 00:54:15.320
all after you get redeemed first.

824
00:54:16.400 --> 00:54:16.960
Okay.

825
00:54:17.640 --> 00:54:22.200
A healthy individual meeting another healthy individual can, and can create a

826
00:54:22.200 --> 00:54:23.400
healthy relationship.

827
00:54:23.840 --> 00:54:27.760
If we're all broken down, we're not going to work well here.

828
00:54:27.760 --> 00:54:29.880
And if two to broken down people, it's even worse.

829
00:54:30.520 --> 00:54:30.920
Okay.

830
00:54:31.240 --> 00:54:36.720
And so it's really important going back to that identity statement earlier, who and

831
00:54:36.720 --> 00:54:38.400
what is informing your identity?

832
00:54:39.280 --> 00:54:39.800
Okay.

833
00:54:40.560 --> 00:54:41.680
Really think about that.

834
00:54:42.320 --> 00:54:44.760
We're going to do our breakout session, a really quick one.

835
00:54:45.120 --> 00:54:48.160
I want you to go into the breakouts and talk to each other about when was the

836
00:54:48.160 --> 00:54:50.800
time someone broke a promise they made to you?

837
00:54:51.040 --> 00:54:53.640
And how is that still affecting you today?

838
00:54:54.480 --> 00:54:57.000
When was the time someone broke a promise they made to you?

839
00:54:57.000 --> 00:54:59.920
And how is that still affecting you today?

840
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.360
Let me get these ready real quick.

841
00:55:03.360 --> 00:55:06.400
I'm going to put two people in a room.

842
00:55:06.400 --> 00:55:08.600
And if you get in a room and nobody's there,

843
00:55:08.600 --> 00:55:09.680
just wait for me.

844
00:55:09.680 --> 00:55:10.960
I will move people around.

845
00:55:13.680 --> 00:55:16.120
OK, sorry, I'm just trying to get this right.

846
00:55:16.120 --> 00:55:21.640
And we're going to do, let's see, two, four.

847
00:55:21.640 --> 00:55:25.960
We'll do six minutes, because I'm afraid if I do less,

848
00:55:25.960 --> 00:55:28.080
you just will not have any time.

849
00:55:28.080 --> 00:55:28.600
Here you go.

850
00:55:28.600 --> 00:55:32.160
Go ahead and click to join those as soon as you can.

851
00:55:32.160 --> 00:55:32.960
Quick, quick, quick.

852
00:55:36.360 --> 00:55:38.160
That should pop up on your screen for you.

853
00:55:41.960 --> 00:55:43.000
I missed it, Bethany.

854
00:55:43.000 --> 00:55:45.440
Sorry for the join.

855
00:55:45.440 --> 00:55:45.940
Let me see.

856
00:55:45.940 --> 00:55:49.640
I might need to move some people around anyways here.

857
00:55:49.640 --> 00:55:50.120
OK.

858
00:55:54.840 --> 00:55:56.400
All right.

859
00:55:56.400 --> 00:55:57.440
Where are you, Sarah?

860
00:55:59.480 --> 00:56:00.800
I'm just going to do this.

861
00:56:10.800 --> 00:56:12.280
All right.

862
00:56:12.280 --> 00:56:14.320
Sarah, I'm going to move you to seven.

863
00:56:14.320 --> 00:56:15.280
Hold on one second.

864
00:56:18.760 --> 00:56:19.560
Thank you.

865
00:56:19.560 --> 00:56:20.800
Lina, did you get kicked out?

866
00:56:20.800 --> 00:56:23.560
Or are you hanging with us in here tonight?

867
00:56:28.600 --> 00:56:33.400
All right.

868
00:56:33.400 --> 00:56:34.480
I'm going to pray.

869
00:56:34.480 --> 00:56:36.720
I just, sorry, ladies.

870
00:56:41.880 --> 00:56:42.720
Hey, Glenna.

871
00:56:42.720 --> 00:56:44.600
I can't tell if you can hear me or not.

872
00:56:44.600 --> 00:56:48.200
Yeah, I went into a room, and it just kept spinning and sprawling.

873
00:56:48.200 --> 00:56:48.840
Oh, that's OK.

874
00:56:48.840 --> 00:56:52.920
Sometimes it's just, let me put you in room two here.

875
00:56:52.920 --> 00:56:53.760
OK, thank you.

876
00:56:53.760 --> 00:56:54.680
All right, you're welcome.

877
00:56:54.680 --> 00:56:57.560
Father, thank you so much for all these ladies in these rooms.

878
00:56:57.560 --> 00:57:00.400
Thank you for, oh, let's see, Edwidge?

879
00:57:00.400 --> 00:57:01.760
Yeah.

880
00:57:01.760 --> 00:57:03.840
Do you go by Edwidge?

881
00:57:03.840 --> 00:57:04.600
Edwidge, yeah.

882
00:57:04.600 --> 00:57:05.520
OK, awesome.

883
00:57:05.520 --> 00:57:08.360
I just put someone in the room with you.

884
00:57:08.360 --> 00:57:10.200
Are you able to go back to that room?

885
00:57:13.120 --> 00:57:13.600
Oh, maybe.

886
00:57:13.600 --> 00:57:15.520
I think I see.

887
00:57:15.520 --> 00:57:16.440
OK, yes.

888
00:57:16.440 --> 00:57:18.880
OK, awesome.

889
00:57:18.880 --> 00:57:20.880
Father, thank you so much for the conversations

890
00:57:20.880 --> 00:57:22.080
that are going to happen in these rooms

891
00:57:22.080 --> 00:57:23.560
tonight, as well as the ladies that

892
00:57:23.560 --> 00:57:24.920
are going to watch the replay.

893
00:57:24.920 --> 00:57:26.460
God, we thank you that you would just

894
00:57:26.460 --> 00:57:30.740
continue to bring revelation, truth, life.

895
00:57:30.740 --> 00:57:32.820
I'm praying for sisterhood connections, as well,

896
00:57:32.820 --> 00:57:34.180
in this community, in this group.

897
00:57:34.180 --> 00:57:36.860
I thank you, God, that you would forge

898
00:57:36.860 --> 00:57:39.060
bonds in the spirit tonight.

899
00:57:39.060 --> 00:57:40.580
And we just thank you for community.

900
00:57:40.580 --> 00:57:43.020
We thank you for family.

901
00:57:43.020 --> 00:57:45.180
We thank you for all that you're doing in our lives.

902
00:57:45.180 --> 00:57:48.140
Colossians 3, 13 through 14, in the message translation

903
00:57:48.140 --> 00:57:51.620
says this, so chosen by God for this new life of love,

904
00:57:51.620 --> 00:57:54.660
dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you.

905
00:57:54.660 --> 00:57:59.540
Compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline.

906
00:57:59.540 --> 00:58:00.740
Be even-tempered.

907
00:58:00.740 --> 00:58:01.380
Hi, Jasmine.

908
00:58:01.380 --> 00:58:02.420
Did you get kicked out?

909
00:58:05.380 --> 00:58:06.260
Oh, you're muted.

910
00:58:06.260 --> 00:58:07.580
You're muted.

911
00:58:07.580 --> 00:58:09.260
Was she not talking, the person you are?

912
00:58:09.260 --> 00:58:11.820
I was with someone, and then she disappeared.

913
00:58:11.820 --> 00:58:13.380
OK, let me put you.

914
00:58:13.380 --> 00:58:14.900
I see someone sitting by themselves.

915
00:58:14.900 --> 00:58:16.980
I wonder if her person left, too.

916
00:58:16.980 --> 00:58:17.660
Go ahead.

917
00:58:17.660 --> 00:58:18.500
Yeah, there you go.

918
00:58:24.980 --> 00:58:25.860
I'm just waiting.

919
00:58:25.860 --> 00:58:26.700
OK, cool.

920
00:58:26.700 --> 00:58:29.900
I'm going to go back to where it said, be even-tempered,

921
00:58:29.900 --> 00:58:34.540
content with second place, quick to forgive an offense.

922
00:58:34.540 --> 00:58:36.260
Forgive as quickly and completely

923
00:58:36.260 --> 00:58:38.660
as the master forgave you.

924
00:58:38.660 --> 00:58:42.420
And regardless of what else you put on, wear love.

925
00:58:42.420 --> 00:58:44.860
It's your basic, all-purpose garment.

926
00:58:44.860 --> 00:58:46.820
Never be without it.

927
00:58:46.820 --> 00:58:49.260
Y'all, I'm sensing God really highlighting.

928
00:58:49.260 --> 00:58:51.740
Did you catch that part of the scripture where it said,

929
00:58:51.740 --> 00:58:54.580
content with second place?

930
00:58:54.580 --> 00:58:56.540
I don't know about you all, but I'm super competitive.

931
00:58:56.540 --> 00:58:58.100
My husband and I joke about it all the time

932
00:58:58.100 --> 00:58:59.340
because he's competitive, too.

933
00:58:59.340 --> 00:59:01.540
And so when we play games, it's so funny.

934
00:59:01.540 --> 00:59:06.660
But what I heard the Lord say is that some of you,

935
00:59:06.660 --> 00:59:07.380
excuse me, y'all.

936
00:59:07.380 --> 00:59:07.780
I don't know.

937
00:59:07.780 --> 00:59:09.940
I have a little sore throat tonight, so I apologize.

938
00:59:09.940 --> 00:59:14.700
But some of us, when we see God get the blessing,

939
00:59:14.700 --> 00:59:16.820
or someone else received the blessing,

940
00:59:16.820 --> 00:59:19.380
we automatically feel like we're in second place,

941
00:59:19.380 --> 00:59:20.620
and that's a bad thing.

942
00:59:20.620 --> 00:59:22.860
That's where the enemy tries to bring that comparison in

943
00:59:22.860 --> 00:59:24.900
and get us stuck in those places.

944
00:59:24.900 --> 00:59:27.820
But God is saying, hey, I want you,

945
00:59:27.820 --> 00:59:30.300
not because He's not going to allow us to be first.

946
00:59:30.300 --> 00:59:32.740
He's not saying, I'm never going to allow you to be first.

947
00:59:32.740 --> 00:59:35.780
But what He's saying is, will we be even-tempered?

948
00:59:35.780 --> 00:59:38.740
Will we be content if He blesses us

949
00:59:38.740 --> 00:59:41.180
after He blesses someone else?

950
00:59:41.180 --> 00:59:43.780
Will we be willing to partner with the truth

951
00:59:43.780 --> 00:59:45.980
that God wants to bless all of us

952
00:59:45.980 --> 00:59:47.660
and He's not withholding from us just

953
00:59:47.660 --> 00:59:50.940
because we see someone else step into the fullness

954
00:59:50.980 --> 00:59:53.980
and the blessing in whatever area that is in their life?

955
00:59:55.420 --> 00:59:56.740
I want you to be thinking about that

956
00:59:56.740 --> 00:59:59.100
and just be thankful for what God is doing in your life.

957
00:59:59.100 --> 01:00:00.100
If we part-

958
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.360
With gratitude and thanksgiving, it's very common that the enemy cannot, he can't have dominion,

959
01:00:05.360 --> 01:00:10.160
he cannot rule and reign. Remember, as soon as darkness comes into the, or excuse me, as light,

960
01:00:10.800 --> 01:00:16.240
as soon as light comes into the darkness and the dark areas, the darkness has to flee.

961
01:00:18.400 --> 01:00:25.120
So where do we need God's light to come and shine in us tonight? 1 John 1 9 says,

962
01:00:25.120 --> 01:00:30.400
if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse

963
01:00:30.400 --> 01:00:37.360
us from all unrighteousness. Anything that does not belong to God, that does not belong to his

964
01:00:37.360 --> 01:00:43.920
plan in our life, that he's willing to remove all of that so that we can step further into what he

965
01:00:43.920 --> 01:00:51.360
has for us. How many times are we waiting and waiting and waiting, but we're not partnering

966
01:00:51.360 --> 01:00:55.440
with God in the process? You know, what's that step that God wants you to take tonight in the

967
01:00:55.440 --> 01:00:59.280
heart work? What's that step that God wants you to take regarding forgiving someone? What's that

968
01:00:59.280 --> 01:01:04.320
step where God wants you to come out of that comparison or come out of isolation? Turning

969
01:01:04.320 --> 01:01:11.120
our cameras on, you know, these little steps, they all create momentum. I love, I love to talk about

970
01:01:11.120 --> 01:01:16.480
like in a pool when you're in a pool and you start going in a circle on the edge of that pool,

971
01:01:16.480 --> 01:01:20.800
especially if it's a round pool, this is the ones that it works with the best. And you just start

972
01:01:20.800 --> 01:01:25.040
going, have you ever done that with kids? And you start, or even when you were a kid and you start

973
01:01:25.040 --> 01:01:31.120
that kind of whirlpool effect. Well, if, if you keep doing that, it actually eventually will start

974
01:01:31.120 --> 01:01:38.800
pulling other people into kind of that flow of the water. And that is what can happen in your

975
01:01:38.800 --> 01:01:44.560
life as you continue to step with God and you follow him in the motion and the way that he's

976
01:01:44.560 --> 01:01:50.160
leading you. It's going to create this flow in the spirit realm that is going to have an effect

977
01:01:50.160 --> 01:01:56.240
in the physical realm as well. Romans 8 28 in the Passion Translation says this. So we are convinced

978
01:01:56.240 --> 01:02:03.040
that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God's perfect plan

979
01:02:03.040 --> 01:02:09.040
of bringing good into our lives. For we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill

980
01:02:09.040 --> 01:02:16.000
his designed purpose. Amen. Welcome back. Welcome back. Love it. Okay. I'm going to go over the

981
01:02:16.880 --> 01:02:21.040
activation for this week right before we start doing group shares. And I'm going to go as quick

982
01:02:21.040 --> 01:02:28.560
as I can. If you are new, we call this our Never Will I Ever activation. This is something where

983
01:02:28.560 --> 01:02:36.320
I really want you to pray and ask the Lord to highlight to you, do you have Never Will I Evers

984
01:02:36.320 --> 01:02:42.400
on your list? These, these, um, you know, this list that you've made that like, if the guy doesn't have

985
01:02:42.400 --> 01:02:46.800
this, and if he doesn't have that, if he doesn't have this, if he's not like this, that he literally

986
01:02:46.800 --> 01:02:52.320
will not like, you won't even consider him. Okay. I'm going to talk about a couple. Never will I ever

987
01:02:52.320 --> 01:03:00.800
date a man who's been divorced because fill in the blank. Never will I ever date someone who has

988
01:03:00.800 --> 01:03:05.600
kids because fill in the blank. Okay. So that's how you want to do it. I'm going to give you some

989
01:03:05.600 --> 01:03:10.400
other examples. Yours might be totally different, but I want you to be praying about this and talking

990
01:03:10.400 --> 01:03:15.280
to the Lord about this. And then I want you to create a post in the group that shows us your list.

991
01:03:16.240 --> 01:03:23.040
Now, ladies, let me say this too. You don't need to say never will I ever date an addict. Okay.

992
01:03:24.000 --> 01:03:31.600
Even if that is one of yours, we don't want you to date an addict, any of you. Okay. So you don't

993
01:03:31.600 --> 01:03:35.920
have to, that's not one you have to put on your list. I'm going to, we're going to assume that's

994
01:03:35.920 --> 01:03:42.320
a given. Okay. A lot of times people will put things on this list because of their own pain

995
01:03:42.320 --> 01:03:49.440
and their own expectations and preferences, but some of them genuinely come from trauma or lies

996
01:03:49.440 --> 01:03:54.160
they believe. Okay. Here's some more. Never will I ever date a man who doesn't have any money.

997
01:03:54.160 --> 01:03:58.000
Well, of course we want you to be with someone who's financially responsible, but we want you

998
01:03:58.000 --> 01:04:03.200
to also have a healthy perspective. For example, I don't think Brian would care if I told the story,

999
01:04:03.200 --> 01:04:10.560
but he had, when I met him, he has several degrees, you all, and you all can guess how

1000
01:04:10.560 --> 01:04:16.320
expensive that was for him to go to school. So his school loans, pretty significant. When I met him,

1001
01:04:17.520 --> 01:04:23.840
I could have been like, wait, whoa, scared and run the other way. Or I could just believe for

1002
01:04:23.840 --> 01:04:31.280
supernatural provision to pay those debts off. It was my choice, but I didn't feel like because he

1003
01:04:31.280 --> 01:04:38.240
had school debt that put him in a category that I would not consider him. But that happens because

1004
01:04:38.240 --> 01:04:45.680
some of you have been through a lot of financial trauma. And so you are terrified of anyone that

1005
01:04:45.680 --> 01:04:50.960
is in any kind of rough situation. Keep in mind that people, if they go to court to fight for

1006
01:04:50.960 --> 01:04:55.840
their kids, I'm just going to say this. This happens to men. It happens to women too, but

1007
01:04:55.840 --> 01:04:57.920
it happens to men a lot.

1008
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:08.000
To go to court and fight for their kids is very expensive to just get time with them.

1009
01:05:08.000 --> 01:05:13.000
And some of you all are going to meet men where their wives, I'm not saying this is you all, okay,

1010
01:05:13.000 --> 01:05:22.000
but some of them have ex-wives that were very mean to them and did everything they could to try to remove them from the kids' lives.

1011
01:05:22.000 --> 01:05:25.000
I'm married to someone that went through that.

1012
01:05:25.000 --> 01:05:27.000
It's devastating.

1013
01:05:27.000 --> 01:05:34.000
It did terrible things to him and his daughters, and he had a lot of debt before he met me,

1014
01:05:34.000 --> 01:05:37.000
but he had been working on it before he met me.

1015
01:05:37.000 --> 01:05:40.000
He already had a plan. He was already paying on it consistently.

1016
01:05:40.000 --> 01:05:43.000
Do you see where you want to get the full picture?

1017
01:05:43.000 --> 01:05:46.000
So if I had just been like, I'm not dating someone who has any debt.

1018
01:05:46.000 --> 01:05:49.000
I'm not dating a guy that's been in any financial struggle.

1019
01:05:49.000 --> 01:05:56.000
Well, God was rebuilding his life just like he was rebuilding mine, and that included our finances.

1020
01:05:56.000 --> 01:06:00.000
We are way, we are doing way, way, and we weren't doing bad.

1021
01:06:00.000 --> 01:06:08.000
We were both coming out of that stuff, but praise the Lord that we didn't count each other out because of some of those things.

1022
01:06:08.000 --> 01:06:11.000
Because God's been doing an awesome work.

1023
01:06:11.000 --> 01:06:21.000
Hopefully yours isn't someone, never will I ever date someone I'm not sexually like magnetic attracted to.

1024
01:06:21.000 --> 01:06:26.000
Yes, we want you to enjoy your spouse, you all. We do.

1025
01:06:26.000 --> 01:06:30.000
Intimately once you're married, not before preferably.

1026
01:06:30.000 --> 01:06:39.000
But here's the thing, if you are just looking for that sexual charge, guess what is actually causing that?

1027
01:06:39.000 --> 01:06:41.000
It's called lust.

1028
01:06:41.000 --> 01:06:44.000
That's what's creating that in people.

1029
01:06:44.000 --> 01:06:49.000
But a slow burn is what we would rather you develop with someone.

1030
01:06:50.000 --> 01:06:53.000
Never will I ever date someone that's a pastor or someone in ministry.

1031
01:06:53.000 --> 01:07:00.000
Never will I ever date someone that's been in or is in the military, police officers, firefighters, whatever that is for you.

1032
01:07:00.000 --> 01:07:03.000
Never will I ever date someone with the name John.

1033
01:07:03.000 --> 01:07:05.000
I always use the name John.

1034
01:07:05.000 --> 01:07:08.000
Maybe you dated a John, maybe this applies to you.

1035
01:07:08.000 --> 01:07:17.000
Andrea was telling ladies, very quickly, part of my redemption story is that my main abuser's name was Brian.

1036
01:07:17.000 --> 01:07:20.000
And then God sent me Brian.

1037
01:07:20.000 --> 01:07:27.000
You all, and I did say to the Lord, like, couldn't you have picked someone with any other name?

1038
01:07:27.000 --> 01:07:32.000
Like, why did you send me someone with the name Brian?

1039
01:07:32.000 --> 01:07:35.000
I literally, I literally had that conversation with the Lord.

1040
01:07:35.000 --> 01:07:37.000
And this is what the Lord said to me.

1041
01:07:37.000 --> 01:07:40.000
Because I want to redeem that name for you.

1042
01:07:41.000 --> 01:07:43.000
Okay?

1043
01:07:43.000 --> 01:07:45.000
So I'm just planting that seed.

1044
01:07:45.000 --> 01:07:47.000
You all have to choose what you're going to do.

1045
01:07:47.000 --> 01:07:49.000
But that was something that God did for me.

1046
01:07:49.000 --> 01:07:54.000
Never will I ever date a man that is a certain age because your ex was a certain age.

1047
01:07:54.000 --> 01:07:56.000
You know, again, these are all just getting you started.

1048
01:07:56.000 --> 01:07:59.000
Some of you are going to have a lot of different things on your list.

1049
01:07:59.000 --> 01:08:01.000
This is, again, pray and ask the Lord.

1050
01:08:01.000 --> 01:08:06.000
Then come into the All Community group in the app and create a post and tell us what your list is.

1051
01:08:06.000 --> 01:08:07.000
Okay?

1052
01:08:07.000 --> 01:08:08.000
All right.

1053
01:08:08.000 --> 01:08:15.000
So, who is willing to share with the whole group what you shared in your breakouts about

1054
01:08:15.000 --> 01:08:21.000
when was a time that someone broke a promise they made to you and how is that still affecting you today?

1055
01:08:21.000 --> 01:08:24.000
And preferably if you shared in the afternoon session.

1056
01:08:24.000 --> 01:08:28.000
I want to wait to see if some other ladies raised their hands tonight.

1057
01:08:32.000 --> 01:08:35.000
Are you all quiet tonight?

1058
01:08:35.000 --> 01:08:37.000
Amanda thinks I'm funny.

1059
01:08:37.000 --> 01:08:38.000
I love your smile, Amanda.

1060
01:08:38.000 --> 01:08:39.000
I do.

1061
01:08:39.000 --> 01:08:41.000
And I love your laugh.

1062
01:08:41.000 --> 01:08:45.000
I don't even hear it, but I just love it because I can feel it when you laugh.

1063
01:08:45.000 --> 01:08:46.000
I love it.

1064
01:08:46.000 --> 01:08:48.000
Mandy, go ahead.

1065
01:08:50.000 --> 01:08:51.000
Okay.

1066
01:08:51.000 --> 01:08:54.000
We're sharing the never have I ever, correct?

1067
01:08:54.000 --> 01:08:57.000
Right now, I would like you to share.

1068
01:08:57.000 --> 01:08:58.000
It's okay.

1069
01:08:58.000 --> 01:08:59.000
Totally fine.

1070
01:08:59.000 --> 01:09:03.000
Sharing about when was a time someone broke a promise they made to you and how is that

1071
01:09:03.000 --> 01:09:05.000
still affecting you today?

1072
01:09:05.000 --> 01:09:06.000
Oh.

1073
01:09:06.000 --> 01:09:09.000
Well, this one was more just towards myself, actually.

1074
01:09:09.000 --> 01:09:11.000
So, maybe somebody else should go.

1075
01:09:11.000 --> 01:09:14.000
Well, you can go ahead and share that, truly.

1076
01:09:14.000 --> 01:09:21.000
I guess mine would be more – it's not like I broke a promise, but I think a lot of my

1077
01:09:21.000 --> 01:09:25.000
choices that I made was towards myself.

1078
01:09:25.000 --> 01:09:31.000
Like, I knew God didn't do anything, but I knew I made bad choices, if that made sense.

1079
01:09:31.000 --> 01:09:32.000
It does.

1080
01:09:32.000 --> 01:09:33.000
It does.

1081
01:09:33.000 --> 01:09:34.000
Yeah.

1082
01:09:34.000 --> 01:09:40.000
So, just a lot of my, like, you know, my eight years of – thank you – my eight years

1083
01:09:40.000 --> 01:09:48.000
of celibacy and six years of drug and alcohol free and stuff have just been like, that's

1084
01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:49.000
been the Lord.

1085
01:09:49.000 --> 01:09:54.000
But everything before that, all my choices were just, I don't know, just foolish mistakes.

1086
01:09:54.000 --> 01:09:58.000
So, I guess more of mine is towards myself, yeah.

1087
01:09:58.000 --> 01:09:59.000
And this is very real.

1088
01:09:59.000 --> 01:10:00.000
So, I –

1089
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.560
I don't want you to minimize what you're sharing, Mandy,

1090
01:10:02.560 --> 01:10:05.680
because there's a lot of people, men and women alike,

1091
01:10:05.680 --> 01:10:07.600
who, myself included in the past,

1092
01:10:07.600 --> 01:10:10.480
when I looked at the mistakes I made

1093
01:10:10.480 --> 01:10:13.280
and the times I broke a promise to myself,

1094
01:10:14.320 --> 01:10:17.080
a lot of times we struggle to forgive ourselves

1095
01:10:17.080 --> 01:10:19.560
more than we do even, like, it's hard to forgive

1096
01:10:19.560 --> 01:10:22.200
other people, but most of us really,

1097
01:10:22.200 --> 01:10:24.840
we forgive ourselves last.

1098
01:10:24.840 --> 01:10:26.880
Yeah, yeah.

1099
01:10:26.920 --> 01:10:31.920
And so sometimes we're still carrying layers of that shame

1100
01:10:33.040 --> 01:10:36.320
and the broken promise to ourself

1101
01:10:36.320 --> 01:10:39.440
and really having to recenter ourselves

1102
01:10:39.440 --> 01:10:43.360
and allow our values to kind of come back to the center,

1103
01:10:43.360 --> 01:10:47.520
okay, saying like, okay, this is something I value,

1104
01:10:48.720 --> 01:10:51.440
and this time, as I go forward,

1105
01:10:51.440 --> 01:10:56.440
I'm not gonna push my values down or to the side

1106
01:10:57.760 --> 01:11:00.600
just to be, you know, just to be in a relationship

1107
01:11:00.600 --> 01:11:03.080
or just to get the thing, whatever that thing is

1108
01:11:03.080 --> 01:11:05.840
that we want or think we need, right?

1109
01:11:05.840 --> 01:11:06.880
Yeah.

1110
01:11:06.880 --> 01:11:08.240
I love that, Sharon, you know,

1111
01:11:08.240 --> 01:11:09.560
and this is why it's important, ladies,

1112
01:11:09.560 --> 01:11:11.800
to not minimize what God is putting on your heart

1113
01:11:11.800 --> 01:11:14.400
and your spirit, because everybody needs, like,

1114
01:11:14.400 --> 01:11:17.120
something different when we're in this space,

1115
01:11:17.120 --> 01:11:20.840
and so even though those are things from her past,

1116
01:11:20.840 --> 01:11:23.720
like, I'm gonna say, you know, Mandy, to you

1117
01:11:23.720 --> 01:11:25.840
or to anyone else, you know, when these things

1118
01:11:25.840 --> 01:11:27.280
come back up in these sessions,

1119
01:11:27.280 --> 01:11:29.160
there's probably another layer that God's wanting

1120
01:11:29.160 --> 01:11:33.080
to help you forgive yourself for breaking a promise

1121
01:11:33.080 --> 01:11:35.040
so that, you know, he can continue to restore

1122
01:11:35.040 --> 01:11:37.880
and rebuild those broken and fallen places

1123
01:11:37.880 --> 01:11:39.800
in any of our hearts and lives,

1124
01:11:39.800 --> 01:11:42.840
but for you tonight and in the days ahead as well.

1125
01:11:42.840 --> 01:11:43.680
Awesome, Sharon.

1126
01:11:43.680 --> 01:11:44.920
Leslie, go ahead.

1127
01:11:49.720 --> 01:11:50.560
You're muted.

1128
01:11:52.160 --> 01:11:53.000
Okay.

1129
01:11:53.000 --> 01:11:53.840
Hi.

1130
01:11:53.840 --> 01:11:55.120
Hey.

1131
01:11:55.120 --> 01:11:56.240
Well, I wasn't gonna share again

1132
01:11:56.240 --> 01:11:57.440
because I shared last week,

1133
01:11:57.440 --> 01:11:58.760
but nobody had their hand raised,

1134
01:11:58.760 --> 01:12:00.320
so I thought, okay, I'll share.

1135
01:12:03.120 --> 01:12:06.080
So my broken promise would have been with God,

1136
01:12:06.080 --> 01:12:08.600
feeling like God broke his promise to me.

1137
01:12:09.880 --> 01:12:12.520
My first marriage was difficult right from the beginning,

1138
01:12:12.520 --> 01:12:16.000
and when my oldest was young,

1139
01:12:16.000 --> 01:12:20.200
I was at a prayer, spiritual meeting,

1140
01:12:20.200 --> 01:12:23.440
and I said, okay, God, all I wanna hear

1141
01:12:23.440 --> 01:12:26.040
is what to do with this marriage,

1142
01:12:26.040 --> 01:12:29.000
and I felt like God said to me,

1143
01:12:29.000 --> 01:12:30.720
I'm going to heal your marriage,

1144
01:12:31.600 --> 01:12:34.000
and that never happened.

1145
01:12:34.000 --> 01:12:37.000
There was just a lot of verbal abuse going on,

1146
01:12:37.000 --> 01:12:41.000
and so after four kids, I left him,

1147
01:12:41.000 --> 01:12:44.040
and I thought, you know what?

1148
01:12:44.040 --> 01:12:46.160
I can't hear God's voice.

1149
01:12:46.160 --> 01:12:48.320
I'm not, I really, you know,

1150
01:12:48.320 --> 01:12:50.120
it didn't make me walk away from God.

1151
01:12:50.120 --> 01:12:53.280
It made me shut down hearing his voice,

1152
01:12:54.120 --> 01:12:56.040
and I didn't trust anymore, you know,

1153
01:12:56.040 --> 01:12:58.880
like myself, or I felt like, you know,

1154
01:12:58.880 --> 01:13:00.760
what happened, you know,

1155
01:13:02.280 --> 01:13:05.120
and what I've learned since then

1156
01:13:05.120 --> 01:13:10.120
is that God's word to me

1157
01:13:11.080 --> 01:13:13.720
just got fulfilled in a different way,

1158
01:13:13.720 --> 01:13:15.440
kind of like when you're praying for healing

1159
01:13:15.440 --> 01:13:17.640
and someone dies kind of thing.

1160
01:13:18.840 --> 01:13:22.120
He actually, we have a really good relationship.

1161
01:13:22.120 --> 01:13:24.720
He lives right next door to me.

1162
01:13:24.720 --> 01:13:26.920
He's sick, and I help him,

1163
01:13:26.920 --> 01:13:29.160
and he is definitely helpful to me,

1164
01:13:30.760 --> 01:13:35.040
so I feel like God restored it just in a different way

1165
01:13:35.960 --> 01:13:38.360
than what I imagined, you know,

1166
01:13:39.960 --> 01:13:44.960
so that was my, you know, broken promise,

1167
01:13:45.000 --> 01:13:47.360
what felt like a broken promise, yeah.

1168
01:13:47.360 --> 01:13:49.640
Yeah, and I wanna say, too, I love that.

1169
01:13:49.640 --> 01:13:54.360
I love the reconciliation that's happened in that dynamic,

1170
01:13:54.360 --> 01:13:56.680
but what I also wanna add to this, Leslie,

1171
01:13:56.680 --> 01:14:01.680
is that it doesn't mean that God wasn't trying to work

1172
01:14:02.800 --> 01:14:04.120
to restore your marriage,

1173
01:14:04.120 --> 01:14:06.840
but it always takes two people, right,

1174
01:14:06.840 --> 01:14:10.880
two people surrendering, two people being willing,

1175
01:14:10.880 --> 01:14:15.720
and, you know, maybe back then your ex wasn't willing,

1176
01:14:15.720 --> 01:14:19.240
you know, or there were things that maybe even,

1177
01:14:20.120 --> 01:14:21.360
that God was trying to do in you

1178
01:14:21.360 --> 01:14:23.080
that maybe you just weren't in the space

1179
01:14:23.080 --> 01:14:24.840
to fully receive it, you know?

1180
01:14:24.840 --> 01:14:28.040
It's that sometimes, again,

1181
01:14:28.040 --> 01:14:30.240
it's like an all or nothing for us, right?

1182
01:14:30.240 --> 01:14:32.840
We think because God didn't do it in the way,

1183
01:14:32.840 --> 01:14:34.480
kind of like the example I was even giving,

1184
01:14:34.480 --> 01:14:37.520
because God wasn't leading that guy to marry me,

1185
01:14:37.520 --> 01:14:38.960
I believe that God didn't care

1186
01:14:38.960 --> 01:14:41.480
and that he was not fulfilling his promise to me,

1187
01:14:42.680 --> 01:14:46.040
but the reality is now you heard something,

1188
01:14:46.040 --> 01:14:47.440
and again, I wanna just clarify,

1189
01:14:47.480 --> 01:14:49.600
I think you heard well,

1190
01:14:49.600 --> 01:14:50.640
I think you heard well,

1191
01:14:50.640 --> 01:14:52.800
and I think it's good that you fought for your marriage,

1192
01:14:52.800 --> 01:14:55.400
but know that we also receive things from the Lord

1193
01:14:55.400 --> 01:14:56.840
through that filter and lens earlier,

1194
01:14:56.840 --> 01:14:59.160
do you remember I was talking about that filter?

1195
01:14:59.160 --> 01:15:00.000
Sometimes God is.

1196
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.960
saying stuff to us, and by the time we're hearing it,

1197
01:15:02.960 --> 01:15:04.720
it's going through this lens.

1198
01:15:04.720 --> 01:15:07.880
So if we grow up being a fixer,

1199
01:15:07.880 --> 01:15:12.000
where we feel responsible for people in situations,

1200
01:15:12.000 --> 01:15:14.760
and again, I think God's heart is always for,

1201
01:15:14.760 --> 01:15:17.600
you know, marriage to be restored, marriage to be saved.

1202
01:15:17.600 --> 01:15:21.560
So of course, how beautiful that you heard from God

1203
01:15:21.560 --> 01:15:24.940
that he wanted to heal your marriage.

1204
01:15:24.940 --> 01:15:26.560
I think you heard well.

1205
01:15:26.560 --> 01:15:29.200
I think God's heart was to heal your marriage.

1206
01:15:29.200 --> 01:15:30.040
Yes.

1207
01:15:30.040 --> 01:15:30.860
Okay.

1208
01:15:30.860 --> 01:15:31.700
I do believe that, yeah.

1209
01:15:31.700 --> 01:15:34.400
Yeah, and so I just, I feel the Holy Spirit too,

1210
01:15:34.400 --> 01:15:35.240
even saying this to you.

1211
01:15:35.240 --> 01:15:37.360
I think God wants to restore, you know,

1212
01:15:37.360 --> 01:15:39.880
your trust in your ability to hear him,

1213
01:15:39.880 --> 01:15:42.220
because I think you heard him really well.

1214
01:15:42.220 --> 01:15:46.040
And while that didn't work out

1215
01:15:46.040 --> 01:15:49.300
the way that you had hoped and prayed for,

1216
01:15:49.300 --> 01:15:53.040
again, it doesn't mean that God wasn't working all along

1217
01:15:53.040 --> 01:15:54.840
to try to bring it to that place,

1218
01:15:54.840 --> 01:15:56.880
but then there comes a point, you know,

1219
01:15:56.880 --> 01:15:59.400
Jackie talks about this, where it's like, okay,

1220
01:15:59.400 --> 01:16:00.680
now it's a rescue mission,

1221
01:16:00.680 --> 01:16:05.680
because, you know, it's turning down a toxic path

1222
01:16:06.200 --> 01:16:10.400
and God's gonna protect, you know, protect us,

1223
01:16:10.400 --> 01:16:12.040
and he's gonna look out for us.

1224
01:16:12.040 --> 01:16:14.640
And so I would encourage you again,

1225
01:16:14.640 --> 01:16:18.000
even though, yes, you see the beauty in what's happened now,

1226
01:16:18.000 --> 01:16:20.280
I want you to really ask the Lord to go back

1227
01:16:20.280 --> 01:16:22.000
and show you the beauty all along.

1228
01:16:22.000 --> 01:16:23.600
Like, what was he doing?

1229
01:16:23.600 --> 01:16:25.200
And that's sometimes what I'll ask God,

1230
01:16:25.200 --> 01:16:27.400
can you just show me where you were at that time,

1231
01:16:27.400 --> 01:16:28.480
like what you were doing?

1232
01:16:28.480 --> 01:16:30.320
And sometimes he shows me things right away,

1233
01:16:30.320 --> 01:16:33.480
and sometimes it's years later that I get that revelation.

1234
01:16:33.480 --> 01:16:36.320
But it's still, I think, a beautiful prayer

1235
01:16:36.320 --> 01:16:38.880
to ask God to show us those things.

1236
01:16:38.880 --> 01:16:41.560
Even when we couldn't recognize him working,

1237
01:16:41.560 --> 01:16:42.840
how was he working?

1238
01:16:42.840 --> 01:16:44.640
Will you show me where you were?

1239
01:16:44.640 --> 01:16:46.940
Will you show me how you were trying to restore,

1240
01:16:46.940 --> 01:16:47.780
you know, my marriage?

1241
01:16:47.780 --> 01:16:51.040
Because I believe you when you tell me, you know, things.

1242
01:16:51.040 --> 01:16:53.760
And so just kind of repairing that connection

1243
01:16:53.760 --> 01:16:56.240
between you and God in that process as well.

1244
01:16:56.240 --> 01:16:57.440
Does that make sense?

1245
01:16:57.440 --> 01:17:02.320
Yep, I was gonna, if it's okay to still share, okay.

1246
01:17:02.320 --> 01:17:07.320
My 30, almost 30-year-old son was talking to me today,

1247
01:17:08.080 --> 01:17:10.920
and he's not been married.

1248
01:17:10.920 --> 01:17:13.720
He's not, you know, he's just coming out of the Navy.

1249
01:17:13.720 --> 01:17:17.320
And he was talking about the damage of two people

1250
01:17:17.320 --> 01:17:18.880
that don't make it in marriage.

1251
01:17:18.880 --> 01:17:21.560
And he was saying, you know, what's the covenant?

1252
01:17:21.560 --> 01:17:24.880
And, you know, basically kind of like you stay regardless.

1253
01:17:24.880 --> 01:17:27.320
And so we had a really good talk about that.

1254
01:17:27.320 --> 01:17:29.640
And he said, you know, it screwed me up

1255
01:17:29.640 --> 01:17:31.440
because now I'm 30 and I'm not married.

1256
01:17:31.440 --> 01:17:34.080
And I'm like, come into the heart, come on.

1257
01:17:34.080 --> 01:17:34.920
And he goes, oh yeah.

1258
01:17:34.920 --> 01:17:36.840
That's right, get your son in here.

1259
01:17:36.840 --> 01:17:40.240
Right, because I had sent him information on it.

1260
01:17:40.240 --> 01:17:43.320
And he goes, oh right, I do need to go into that program.

1261
01:17:43.320 --> 01:17:45.640
I'm so excited for him.

1262
01:17:45.640 --> 01:17:46.920
That's awesome.

1263
01:17:46.920 --> 01:17:47.960
And see, this is the thing,

1264
01:17:47.960 --> 01:17:50.440
you're having God's hope is really working

1265
01:17:50.440 --> 01:17:51.600
in your heart and your life.

1266
01:17:51.600 --> 01:17:55.480
And now you're able to basically pour into your son

1267
01:17:55.480 --> 01:17:56.640
and encourage him.

1268
01:17:56.640 --> 01:17:59.920
And what a real conversation, you know,

1269
01:17:59.920 --> 01:18:01.040
that you guys could have.

1270
01:18:01.040 --> 01:18:06.040
And hopefully, you know, where you didn't feel like guilt

1271
01:18:06.360 --> 01:18:07.760
or anything because of it.

1272
01:18:07.760 --> 01:18:09.320
And if you did, I really wanna encourage you

1273
01:18:09.320 --> 01:18:11.680
to take that to the Lord because, you know,

1274
01:18:11.680 --> 01:18:13.760
we can't change what's happened in the past.

1275
01:18:13.760 --> 01:18:14.600
We can't.

1276
01:18:14.600 --> 01:18:15.480
Right, right.

1277
01:18:15.480 --> 01:18:16.320
We can't go back.

1278
01:18:16.320 --> 01:18:20.360
All we can do is go forward and really be vulnerable

1279
01:18:21.160 --> 01:18:22.760
and transparent as much as possible.

1280
01:18:22.760 --> 01:18:25.840
Obviously age, you know, dependent on our kids' ages,

1281
01:18:25.840 --> 01:18:26.960
but it sounds like he's older.

1282
01:18:26.960 --> 01:18:29.400
And so I love that you guys had that conversation.

1283
01:18:29.400 --> 01:18:31.440
And I believe you guys are gonna have more conversations

1284
01:18:31.440 --> 01:18:33.240
where you can really show them what you've learned

1285
01:18:33.240 --> 01:18:35.680
and things that God has taught you

1286
01:18:35.680 --> 01:18:37.920
through the healing for sure.

1287
01:18:37.920 --> 01:18:38.760
Yeah.

1288
01:18:38.760 --> 01:18:39.600
That's awesome.

1289
01:18:39.600 --> 01:18:41.760
It made me wanna do better, you know,

1290
01:18:41.760 --> 01:18:46.760
with my own, you know, pursuing, you know,

1291
01:18:46.880 --> 01:18:49.760
and the stuff that you guys are teaching me, yeah.

1292
01:18:49.800 --> 01:18:50.880
I love it.

1293
01:18:50.880 --> 01:18:52.800
Thank you for sharing, Leslie.

1294
01:18:52.800 --> 01:18:54.760
I see Roseanne put something in the chat here.

1295
01:18:54.760 --> 01:18:56.840
I've already shared about a promise that was broken

1296
01:18:56.840 --> 01:18:57.760
in a previous session.

1297
01:18:57.760 --> 01:19:01.040
I have a question about something Jackie shared on Saturday.

1298
01:19:01.040 --> 01:19:02.880
And I've heard you say something similar.

1299
01:19:02.880 --> 01:19:07.080
It has to do with time we were waiting on God

1300
01:19:07.080 --> 01:19:08.080
as far as meeting someone,

1301
01:19:08.080 --> 01:19:09.400
if you could talk more about that.

1302
01:19:09.400 --> 01:19:12.960
So it's your question that we're saying,

1303
01:19:14.560 --> 01:19:15.720
well, let me say this.

1304
01:19:15.720 --> 01:19:18.040
I'm not saying we're not ever called to wait.

1305
01:19:18.840 --> 01:19:20.240
And I think that's important.

1306
01:19:20.240 --> 01:19:21.760
That's my perspective.

1307
01:19:21.760 --> 01:19:26.760
I think, for example, when I broke up with the girl's dad,

1308
01:19:28.080 --> 01:19:31.160
my context, now hear this through my context

1309
01:19:31.160 --> 01:19:34.080
because everybody's situation is different.

1310
01:19:34.080 --> 01:19:37.400
Y'all, from a young age, I had had boyfriend

1311
01:19:37.400 --> 01:19:40.320
after boyfriend, after boyfriend.

1312
01:19:40.320 --> 01:19:43.560
I got married, broke that.

1313
01:19:43.560 --> 01:19:46.120
When that fell apart, I didn't break that up.

1314
01:19:46.160 --> 01:19:48.760
When that fell apart because of things he was doing

1315
01:19:48.760 --> 01:19:51.720
and it was just not repairable,

1316
01:19:52.840 --> 01:19:54.840
I quickly went into dating someone else.

1317
01:19:54.840 --> 01:19:57.440
I did not give myself time to heal.

1318
01:19:57.440 --> 01:19:59.480
And then I broke things off with that guy

1319
01:19:59.480 --> 01:20:00.320
and went-

1320
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.320
right into the relationship with the girl's dad

1321
01:20:02.320 --> 01:20:03.880
and did not give myself time to heal.

1322
01:20:03.880 --> 01:20:05.240
That was not smart.

1323
01:20:05.240 --> 01:20:08.160
That was not smart of me to do that, okay?

1324
01:20:08.160 --> 01:20:11.840
And so when I broke things off with their dad,

1325
01:20:11.840 --> 01:20:14.760
I really just felt this, like, I just need a break.

1326
01:20:14.760 --> 01:20:16.480
I need to figure this out.

1327
01:20:16.480 --> 01:20:18.360
I need to like figure out

1328
01:20:18.360 --> 01:20:20.840
why I keep attracting unhealthy people.

1329
01:20:20.840 --> 01:20:23.480
I'm the main character in the story here.

1330
01:20:23.480 --> 01:20:26.180
And, you know, I'm the same person

1331
01:20:26.180 --> 01:20:28.440
that's in all of these, you know, scenarios.

1332
01:20:28.720 --> 01:20:32.320
And so I really just felt led to wait a year,

1333
01:20:32.320 --> 01:20:33.980
to not date anybody for a year,

1334
01:20:33.980 --> 01:20:36.120
to not even talk or think about it.

1335
01:20:36.120 --> 01:20:38.140
And that was kind of where I started.

1336
01:20:39.240 --> 01:20:41.760
And that was just between me and the Lord.

1337
01:20:41.760 --> 01:20:42.840
And I'll tell you what,

1338
01:20:42.840 --> 01:20:44.720
when it came to where that year was ending,

1339
01:20:44.720 --> 01:20:47.560
I was like, I'm not ready to date yet.

1340
01:20:47.560 --> 01:20:49.800
Like I'm actually enjoying,

1341
01:20:49.800 --> 01:20:52.160
like I had never even learned as a kid

1342
01:20:52.160 --> 01:20:54.080
because of the sexual abuse I went through

1343
01:20:54.080 --> 01:20:58.220
and the abuse in my home, I didn't even know who I was.

1344
01:20:59.000 --> 01:20:59.840
I didn't.

1345
01:20:59.840 --> 01:21:03.220
And I was enjoying just getting to know myself,

1346
01:21:03.220 --> 01:21:05.220
like discovering who I was,

1347
01:21:05.220 --> 01:21:08.340
really like feeling the things I enjoyed

1348
01:21:08.340 --> 01:21:10.220
and not giving that up for someone else

1349
01:21:10.220 --> 01:21:12.300
because I often would get into relationship

1350
01:21:12.300 --> 01:21:16.220
and just like conform to everything they were doing.

1351
01:21:16.220 --> 01:21:17.900
And I didn't even know why I was doing that

1352
01:21:17.900 --> 01:21:20.540
because I actually really loved who I was.

1353
01:21:21.900 --> 01:21:26.480
And so I don't know exactly how long,

1354
01:21:26.480 --> 01:21:29.240
I wanna say it ended up being almost two years

1355
01:21:29.240 --> 01:21:31.640
by the time I started dating again.

1356
01:21:31.640 --> 01:21:34.360
Now, that is different for me

1357
01:21:34.360 --> 01:21:37.640
because I had never had a time of period

1358
01:21:37.640 --> 01:21:41.480
of like getting to know myself, of being single really.

1359
01:21:41.480 --> 01:21:45.800
And that's why I feel like God led me into that season

1360
01:21:45.800 --> 01:21:50.800
of just breathing, not waiting and doing nothing though.

1361
01:21:51.020 --> 01:21:54.840
That whole time I was healing, I was growing,

1362
01:21:54.880 --> 01:21:55.760
I was working out,

1363
01:21:55.760 --> 01:21:59.400
I was taking trips to go visit people.

1364
01:21:59.400 --> 01:22:03.320
I was definitely taking active steps in that whole time.

1365
01:22:03.320 --> 01:22:06.320
I think the thing is where when we communicate

1366
01:22:06.320 --> 01:22:10.360
as a community and the things that Jackie is talking about

1367
01:22:10.360 --> 01:22:13.700
is the way the church has kind of made it sound,

1368
01:22:14.640 --> 01:22:18.800
and I'm not saying every church, but in some messages,

1369
01:22:18.800 --> 01:22:21.520
it makes it sound like you're just sitting there

1370
01:22:21.520 --> 01:22:25.100
waiting for God to drop this blessing into your life.

1371
01:22:26.280 --> 01:22:27.760
You're Boaz.

1372
01:22:27.760 --> 01:22:29.680
You're just waiting for Boaz.

1373
01:22:29.680 --> 01:22:32.080
You know, that was literally, I can't tell you years ago,

1374
01:22:32.080 --> 01:22:33.840
everywhere you turn, that's all you would hear,

1375
01:22:33.840 --> 01:22:35.480
waiting for Boaz, waiting for Boaz.

1376
01:22:35.480 --> 01:22:37.360
Well, guess what?

1377
01:22:37.360 --> 01:22:40.700
Y'all, Ruth was in the fields working.

1378
01:22:40.700 --> 01:22:43.040
She wasn't sitting around just waiting for Boaz

1379
01:22:43.040 --> 01:22:44.240
to come into her life.

1380
01:22:44.240 --> 01:22:46.540
She was out doing stuff.

1381
01:22:47.840 --> 01:22:51.280
And so we don't want people to just sit

1382
01:22:52.040 --> 01:22:53.880
and wait and be idle.

1383
01:22:54.960 --> 01:22:58.720
We want you to be growing and working on who you are

1384
01:22:58.720 --> 01:23:01.640
and getting out and meeting people and practicing

1385
01:23:01.640 --> 01:23:03.280
and all of those things.

1386
01:23:03.280 --> 01:23:06.000
And so I don't know if that brings clarity for you, Roseanne,

1387
01:23:06.000 --> 01:23:07.120
but I think-

1388
01:23:07.120 --> 01:23:08.040
Yes, it does.

1389
01:23:08.040 --> 01:23:09.600
Yeah, I think it's just the key

1390
01:23:09.600 --> 01:23:13.300
is that we don't want somebody to park themselves forever,

1391
01:23:13.300 --> 01:23:15.960
like just waiting year after year after year.

1392
01:23:15.960 --> 01:23:20.000
Now, if I had just, after I got to a certain point,

1393
01:23:20.000 --> 01:23:22.240
and like, oh, I'm just better off single,

1394
01:23:22.240 --> 01:23:23.360
I'm just gonna stay here,

1395
01:23:23.360 --> 01:23:26.780
or believe because somebody told me

1396
01:23:26.780 --> 01:23:28.160
that you just need to wait

1397
01:23:28.160 --> 01:23:30.320
until God sends you the person now.

1398
01:23:30.320 --> 01:23:31.680
If I had believed those things,

1399
01:23:31.680 --> 01:23:36.680
I think I would have continued to just not pursue dating.

1400
01:23:38.240 --> 01:23:39.480
Does that make sense?

1401
01:23:39.480 --> 01:23:40.600
Yes. Yeah.

1402
01:23:40.600 --> 01:23:42.240
It does.

1403
01:23:42.240 --> 01:23:43.280
Very good question.

1404
01:23:43.280 --> 01:23:44.160
Thank you.

1405
01:23:44.160 --> 01:23:46.080
Yeah, you're welcome.

1406
01:23:46.080 --> 01:23:48.400
All right, I think Joy has her hand raised.

1407
01:23:48.400 --> 01:23:49.600
Joy, go ahead.

1408
01:23:50.160 --> 01:23:51.280
I know that you shared this afternoon,

1409
01:23:51.280 --> 01:23:54.400
so are you sharing the same thing tonight,

1410
01:23:54.400 --> 01:23:57.760
or do you have something different to share tonight?

1411
01:23:57.760 --> 01:23:59.120
Different, different.

1412
01:23:59.120 --> 01:24:00.480
Okay, go ahead.

1413
01:24:02.360 --> 01:24:04.280
Okay, actually, I have a question too,

1414
01:24:04.280 --> 01:24:06.000
so maybe share first.

1415
01:24:06.000 --> 01:24:11.000
It's about my, I've been here struggling my self-trust.

1416
01:24:13.840 --> 01:24:17.760
You know, I, sometimes I set goals,

1417
01:24:17.800 --> 01:24:19.680
I want to do something,

1418
01:24:19.680 --> 01:24:23.560
and even tell somebody I would do it,

1419
01:24:23.560 --> 01:24:25.360
but then I did not fulfill.

1420
01:24:25.360 --> 01:24:29.920
It's kind of, sometimes, over and over,

1421
01:24:29.920 --> 01:24:32.000
I discredit myself.

1422
01:24:32.000 --> 01:24:35.880
I kind of lost, I lose my self-trust,

1423
01:24:35.880 --> 01:24:40.880
my self, my ability to accomplish things sometimes,

1424
01:24:41.120 --> 01:24:43.760
so I was struggling,

1425
01:24:43.800 --> 01:24:47.520
and sometimes, because my emotions stay,

1426
01:24:47.520 --> 01:24:51.720
you know, I recognize that the past delay

1427
01:24:51.720 --> 01:24:53.000
is something contribute,

1428
01:24:53.000 --> 01:24:55.000
because one of the reason, the root cause,

1429
01:24:55.000 --> 01:24:57.640
is because my emotion,

1430
01:24:57.640 --> 01:25:00.240
it really did not have desire to do it.

1431
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.760
did not have the confidence and the strength to do it. So I postponed again and again.

1432
01:25:06.480 --> 01:25:15.120
So that, you know, I discouraged myself and lost my self-trust. That's why I've been years

1433
01:25:15.120 --> 01:25:23.680
there with the self-distrust and the self-doubt. But then now, the past year and this year, I think

1434
01:25:23.680 --> 01:25:31.120
I'm more and more aware of that. I try to apply, wash my mind with the truth.

1435
01:25:31.840 --> 01:25:39.200
So yeah, that's the one thing I want to share and also have a couple questions, short questions.

1436
01:25:40.240 --> 01:25:45.760
Okay, very good. So some of the things I was writing down, Joy, just as you were talking,

1437
01:25:45.760 --> 01:25:52.800
is so often, ladies, our awareness will grow first about something, okay? God's going to

1438
01:25:52.800 --> 01:25:57.520
open our eyes. He's going to lift the veil of deception. He's going to bring awareness to

1439
01:25:57.520 --> 01:26:04.400
something. And so often, our awareness will grow first, and then what we have to do is we have to

1440
01:26:04.400 --> 01:26:10.880
start taking action and steps to partner with the now new awareness, okay? And so some of what Joy

1441
01:26:10.880 --> 01:26:15.440
is talking about is sometimes there are things she's saying she wants to do them, but then she

1442
01:26:15.440 --> 01:26:21.680
doesn't do them. And I think I heard you say that sometimes you don't have the strength to do it,

1443
01:26:21.680 --> 01:26:28.160
if I'm not mistaken, you said that. Sometimes, yeah. Emotion, they say it's a lack of desire to

1444
01:26:28.160 --> 01:26:35.280
do it, motivation, the strength, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what a lot of times we don't realize

1445
01:26:35.280 --> 01:26:43.040
is the motivation, the strength, the, you know, just that desire to do something

1446
01:26:44.000 --> 01:26:50.960
isn't always going to be there. Yeah, exactly. It's not. We actually have to. It's like when you

1447
01:26:50.960 --> 01:26:55.120
guys were in the breakout session, I was talking about when we're in a pool of water, if you're in

1448
01:26:55.120 --> 01:27:00.320
a circular pool, if you start going, you know, in a circle around the edges of that, it's going to

1449
01:27:00.320 --> 01:27:06.240
start to cause the water to literally flow. And before long, if you do it long enough, it'll

1450
01:27:06.240 --> 01:27:10.800
start to carry you and you won't have to walk and then it'll start to die down. But there is this,

1451
01:27:10.800 --> 01:27:17.920
there's this thing about momentum. Well, momentum happens when we are moving. And so I would

1452
01:27:17.920 --> 01:27:24.400
encourage you or anyone else, like, if we are struggling with a desire to do something,

1453
01:27:25.120 --> 01:27:32.160
well, is there an area we're really struggling with depression or oppression? Is it just that

1454
01:27:32.160 --> 01:27:38.320
we are good at breaking our word to ourselves? Because that's a habit that we learned for some

1455
01:27:38.320 --> 01:27:45.120
one reason or another. And because of that, now we are struggling to actually take action and

1456
01:27:45.120 --> 01:27:51.120
do things. So if that was me, so I'm going to give this to all of you, but if that was me,

1457
01:27:51.120 --> 01:27:57.600
one of the things that I used to do, I literally wrote on a piece of paper, this isn't exactly

1458
01:27:57.600 --> 01:28:02.400
what Joy is saying, but I wrote on a piece of paper, I, Bethany, my last name was Stanko at the

1459
01:28:02.400 --> 01:28:11.760
time, I, Bethany Stanko, am not going to break my values to myself anymore. And I hung it up

1460
01:28:11.760 --> 01:28:17.200
somewhere where I saw it every day. And when I saw it, I would read it out loud over myself.

1461
01:28:17.200 --> 01:28:22.480
And it was reminding me that no matter when I would meet men in the future, I was not going to

1462
01:28:22.480 --> 01:28:30.560
allow them to go past my values. I was not going to break my values for them anymore. And so Joy,

1463
01:28:30.560 --> 01:28:35.440
or anyone else that struggles with, you're saying you want to do something, but you're not doing it.

1464
01:28:36.320 --> 01:28:42.480
It actually goes back to identity issues, insecurity issues. Do you actually think you

1465
01:28:42.480 --> 01:28:47.360
can do it? Do you believe that you can finish it? Do you believe whether it's this course

1466
01:28:47.360 --> 01:28:52.320
or something else? And at the core, if we don't really believe we can accomplish that thing,

1467
01:28:53.200 --> 01:28:59.360
guess what? We're not going to do it. God was really talking to me about this regarding my

1468
01:28:59.360 --> 01:29:05.360
books that he has led me. I have several ideas I wanted to write. But every time I would go to

1469
01:29:05.360 --> 01:29:10.160
write, something would either distract me, or I would start to feel intimidation. And like,

1470
01:29:10.800 --> 01:29:16.160
I don't even know if what I have to say matters, all this stuff. Well, I was doing some work,

1471
01:29:16.160 --> 01:29:21.440
and I still need to keep working through it because it was so good on inner core, like

1472
01:29:22.400 --> 01:29:28.480
identity, like how I see myself, what do I believe? And y'all, I'm a pretty confident person.

1473
01:29:28.480 --> 01:29:33.360
I've healed a ton. But for whatever reason, when I would try to work on these books,

1474
01:29:33.360 --> 01:29:38.400
I had insecurity surfacing, and I needed to look at that. And the insecurity was creating

1475
01:29:38.400 --> 01:29:47.760
procrastination. And so one of the things that I did was I wrote all the reasons why I would be

1476
01:29:47.760 --> 01:29:53.680
great at writing a book and why I could, I believe I can have a bestseller. And like, not just name

1477
01:29:53.760 --> 01:29:59.440
it, claim it, but genuinely, what do I believe about myself? And it took me a little bit to

1478
01:29:59.440 --> 01:29:59.840
write that.

1479
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.880
list. But I want to encourage you all to do this. If there's an area that you're struggling,

1480
01:30:06.640 --> 01:30:13.440
ask the Lord to help you form a list of why, like, why are you able to do it?

1481
01:30:14.160 --> 01:30:19.680
What, why does it matter for you to do it? So for example, if it's this heartwork course,

1482
01:30:20.480 --> 01:30:27.120
I am a finisher and I can finish this course. I'm going to finish this course because as I do,

1483
01:30:27.760 --> 01:30:33.200
I'm going to heal and be stronger and be able to step into the promises and the plans God has for

1484
01:30:33.200 --> 01:30:36.960
me. You might want to get a little more detailed as you're doing it, but I'm just trying to get

1485
01:30:36.960 --> 01:30:46.080
you all started somewhere. So joy, we have to take belief and partner it with actions. Faith

1486
01:30:46.080 --> 01:30:54.480
without works is dead, right? And so it's one thing, it's amazing for us to have a lot of faith,

1487
01:30:55.440 --> 01:31:01.440
but we've got to take the steps. And so to me, kind of where I started is that I want you to ask

1488
01:31:01.440 --> 01:31:08.080
the Lord, is do you actually believe the lie that you are not capable of finishing?

1489
01:31:11.280 --> 01:31:14.000
Because if you believe that lie, you will never start.

1490
01:31:15.840 --> 01:31:20.880
You'll keep saying you're going to do it and then not do it because you actually believe the lie

1491
01:31:20.960 --> 01:31:25.600
that you cannot do it. You're not equipped to do it. You don't, like you even said it,

1492
01:31:25.600 --> 01:31:30.320
you don't have the strength to do it. I think that's a lie from the enemy. And I'm not saying

1493
01:31:30.320 --> 01:31:35.760
you don't feel weak sometimes. I think that's very common. You know, I get really tired and I'm like,

1494
01:31:35.760 --> 01:31:40.480
I have no energy left to write the book. Hey y'all, this is real. We face this stuff, right?

1495
01:31:41.040 --> 01:31:47.520
But if I keep telling myself that, guess what's going to happen? Y'all want to guess? I'm going

1496
01:31:47.520 --> 01:31:53.760
to be tired all the time. And I'm going to always feel like I can't do it because I'm tired.

1497
01:31:55.360 --> 01:32:01.680
Now I might feel tired, but I need to start planning that time into my schedule because

1498
01:32:01.680 --> 01:32:08.480
my book matters. What I have to say in the world matters. Not because I'm being prideful,

1499
01:32:08.480 --> 01:32:17.200
but I genuinely believe that more than I ever have. So I hope that encourages some of you.

1500
01:32:17.600 --> 01:32:21.600
You might not feel led to write a book, but maybe you feel led to do something else.

1501
01:32:21.600 --> 01:32:25.280
And you've been praying around that thing and you've been avoiding it, but God keeps nudging

1502
01:32:25.280 --> 01:32:30.400
you to go do it. Maybe it's regarding this spirit mate relationship. God's trying to encourage you

1503
01:32:30.400 --> 01:32:35.920
to keep investing in your healing, keep investing in your growth so that he can lead you into that.

1504
01:32:35.920 --> 01:32:42.320
But you still are listening to the dialogue that it's not possible for you. That's awesome.

1505
01:32:43.040 --> 01:32:51.040
This is very, very great advice. I would follow through. I think I will overcome because you

1506
01:32:51.040 --> 01:32:56.560
already pointed out the root cause. Do I really believe a lot that I was not able to finish it

1507
01:32:56.560 --> 01:33:07.040
because I did abortion before. So abortive spirit has been annihilated. So yeah, I am a finisher.

1508
01:33:07.040 --> 01:33:12.640
So I have to continue to say the truth. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

1509
01:33:12.640 --> 01:33:18.640
because I have God inside of me. So he can enable me, empower me to do it. Even sometimes people

1510
01:33:18.640 --> 01:33:26.880
type, I would say, I'm not, I'm getting strength from the Lord. I'm able, I have the, like King

1511
01:33:26.880 --> 01:33:34.640
David encouraged myself over and over again. If I finish this, I can picture the result and

1512
01:33:34.640 --> 01:33:41.120
visualize the end result. It really will motivate me, inspire me to take like a tiny step. I learned

1513
01:33:41.120 --> 01:33:46.160
from a man named Winston Chow, he says, even something you don't feel like doing, just do

1514
01:33:46.160 --> 01:33:52.640
tiny, tiny, what's smaller. Just do it. Just like the pinpoint, boom. Then you always, you know.

1515
01:33:53.840 --> 01:34:00.080
So this is very helpful. And a lot of things that, you know, sometimes because of healing,

1516
01:34:00.080 --> 01:34:05.600
I have to reflect back over and over again. Sometimes I'm just thinking in my mind. And

1517
01:34:05.600 --> 01:34:12.240
even my friend told me, and she said, why you continue to say you need healing and the back,

1518
01:34:12.240 --> 01:34:18.320
whatever. He said, you already healed. Come on, just in your head. Just go to get a job. You know,

1519
01:34:18.320 --> 01:34:25.360
the previous job I mentioned to you and that the nanny job, her mom came. So her mom taking the

1520
01:34:25.360 --> 01:34:31.120
baby. So I'm free from that job now. So you just go to look for a job. You don't, don't, don't

1521
01:34:31.120 --> 01:34:39.040
believe the lie. Don't partner with a lie. You are healed. You do not need healing anymore. So

1522
01:34:41.040 --> 01:34:44.960
I don't know. Let me, let me, let me redirect you for a second. Cause you said something really

1523
01:34:44.960 --> 01:34:50.880
important and I want to make sure we don't miss this. I don't know if I heard you right. And I

1524
01:34:50.880 --> 01:34:55.760
don't know if I heard this part of your story before. Did you say that you have had an abortion

1525
01:34:55.760 --> 01:34:59.920
in the past? Yes. Okay. I want to, I want to put

1526
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.560
pull this out of what you said tonight, because I think this

1527
01:35:03.560 --> 01:35:04.840
is really important.

1528
01:35:05.280 --> 01:35:06.520
Can I say one more thing?

1529
01:35:06.640 --> 01:35:09.040
Just one second. Just one second. Just hold that for a

1530
01:35:09.040 --> 01:35:13.680
second. Ladies, what can happen is when we make a choice that

1531
01:35:13.680 --> 01:35:18.980
we're ashamed of. Okay. It can literally cause shutdown in

1532
01:35:18.980 --> 01:35:23.260
other areas of our life where we we struggle, we might be able to

1533
01:35:23.260 --> 01:35:27.700
start but we don't finish. And so she pulled something out

1534
01:35:27.700 --> 01:35:29.980
that's really important there. And I really want to encourage

1535
01:35:29.980 --> 01:35:32.480
you joy to lean into that a little bit because you've been

1536
01:35:32.480 --> 01:35:36.820
in this community quite a while and I've never heard that part

1537
01:35:36.820 --> 01:35:40.080
of your story. So I feel like it's really important that that

1538
01:35:40.080 --> 01:35:43.080
came out tonight. And I just want you to know that you are

1539
01:35:43.080 --> 01:35:49.400
loved 100%. And that God wants to come in and heal that part

1540
01:35:49.420 --> 01:35:54.200
where you didn't see that through and he wants to redeem

1541
01:35:54.200 --> 01:35:57.560
that part of your timeline. And so I really want to encourage

1542
01:35:57.560 --> 01:35:59.900
you to partner with that. I know that you had something

1543
01:35:59.900 --> 01:36:02.820
else you wanted to say, but I do want to make sure we get to

1544
01:36:02.820 --> 01:36:08.020
Chrissy as well. If you can come into the group and and write

1545
01:36:08.020 --> 01:36:10.780
whatever else additional you wanted to share. I would love

1546
01:36:10.780 --> 01:36:13.400
to hear what you have to say. But just for time sake, I do

1547
01:36:13.400 --> 01:36:17.700
need to go Chrissy. Okay. Okay, sure. Right. Thank you so much

1548
01:36:17.700 --> 01:36:20.300
for sharing. Chrissy, go ahead.

1549
01:36:20.840 --> 01:36:27.560
Okay, can you hear me? Yeah. Okay. So several things you

1550
01:36:27.560 --> 01:36:33.840
answered while you were talking to her. But when we started the

1551
01:36:33.840 --> 01:36:37.840
activation, I started answering the wrong question, or not the

1552
01:36:37.840 --> 01:36:40.840
wrong question, but a different question. So that's what I

1553
01:36:40.840 --> 01:36:45.640
talked about in the class or in the break. Whatever that thing

1554
01:36:45.940 --> 01:36:55.260
is. But I started thinking about that. And I think kind of like

1555
01:36:55.300 --> 01:36:58.220
she was just talking about, I think it's myself. I think I

1556
01:36:58.700 --> 01:36:59.820
betrayed me.

1557
01:37:00.540 --> 01:37:01.740
Okay. How?

1558
01:37:05.580 --> 01:37:11.300
I think it's like self sabotage. And I think it's like, you know,

1559
01:37:12.040 --> 01:37:16.760
I think it's like self sabotage. And I started thinking about

1560
01:37:16.760 --> 01:37:21.260
that because, like Wednesday, this coming Wednesday, there's a

1561
01:37:21.260 --> 01:37:26.000
job fair that I've had written down on my calendar for like, I

1562
01:37:26.000 --> 01:37:30.680
don't know, a couple months now. And I was excited to go because

1563
01:37:31.000 --> 01:37:36.200
I currently hate my job and I need a new job and I just need

1564
01:37:36.200 --> 01:37:42.860
to do something different. But this week rolls around today is

1565
01:37:42.860 --> 01:37:47.980
Monday. And I was like, Oh, do I really need to go? Do I think

1566
01:37:47.980 --> 01:37:49.940
that I'm going to get a job there? I'm just gonna have to

1567
01:37:49.940 --> 01:37:52.580
drive all the way there. I started making all of these like

1568
01:37:52.620 --> 01:37:57.660
excuses. And I wrote it down. I was like, No, we're not going to

1569
01:37:57.660 --> 01:38:00.180
take any excuses. You already took the time off from work. We

1570
01:38:00.180 --> 01:38:05.760
have to go. But I could feel it like, No, I don't want to do

1571
01:38:05.760 --> 01:38:13.480
this. And then it just means I'm stuck. I'm stuck where I am.

1572
01:38:13.480 --> 01:38:16.400
Again, I come back and I'm going to go to work and I hate this

1573
01:38:16.400 --> 01:38:20.100
job. And I don't like being at home. And I know I like being

1574
01:38:20.100 --> 01:38:25.800
home. Let me take that back. But, um, but I need something

1575
01:38:25.800 --> 01:38:30.780
new. I cannot continue in this cycle. I will drive myself into

1576
01:38:30.780 --> 01:38:33.780
the ground and I will drive myself crazy if I have to do

1577
01:38:33.780 --> 01:38:34.320
this again.

1578
01:38:34.660 --> 01:38:37.780
So do I hear you saying that you really would love a job where

1579
01:38:37.780 --> 01:38:41.860
you are out with people, whether it's out at a building or a

1580
01:38:41.860 --> 01:38:45.300
location or you're having to go out and even if you work for

1581
01:38:45.300 --> 01:38:48.140
your, you know, from home, you still have to go out and

1582
01:38:48.140 --> 01:38:49.980
interact more. Is that what I hear you saying?

1583
01:38:50.840 --> 01:38:57.640
Um, yes, I like being home because I get my things done.

1584
01:38:57.640 --> 01:38:59.560
And then my weekends are my weekends and I don't have to

1585
01:38:59.560 --> 01:39:00.420
worry about anything.

1586
01:39:00.660 --> 01:39:04.640
Okay, have you actually written down what job you want from the

1587
01:39:04.640 --> 01:39:08.760
Lord? Like what job you want him to help you get? No, I want to

1588
01:39:08.760 --> 01:39:11.100
encourage you to do that. I think part of the problem is

1589
01:39:11.100 --> 01:39:14.040
similar to joy. But I think there's different aspects here

1590
01:39:14.040 --> 01:39:18.400
for you as well. I think that part of it is that what I heard

1591
01:39:18.420 --> 01:39:23.140
like in the in my even going to get a job if I go so underlying

1592
01:39:23.180 --> 01:39:28.540
in that it's like, yes, self sabotage, but under that is like

1593
01:39:29.220 --> 01:39:34.660
a protecting yourself from potential rejection, a fear that

1594
01:39:34.660 --> 01:39:39.460
you're gonna go and nothing's going to change. Okay. But I

1595
01:39:39.460 --> 01:39:44.220
think where you need to shift is like to create a dream board.

1596
01:39:44.220 --> 01:39:46.620
Okay, a little bit. It can be on an eight and a half piece of

1597
01:39:46.620 --> 01:39:48.680
paper, Chrissy, okay, it doesn't have to be a whole big

1598
01:39:48.680 --> 01:39:52.120
vision board. If you want to do more you can but somebody asked

1599
01:39:52.120 --> 01:39:56.400
me to do this years ago and it really changed things for me. A

1600
01:39:56.400 --> 01:39:59.880
coach I was working with she said, make a board

1601
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:05.680
pictures, words, phrases of the kind of job you hope to have.

1602
01:40:05.700 --> 01:40:10.140
Like, how do you like, how do you want to impact the world

1603
01:40:10.140 --> 01:40:13.320
through it? Like all those different aspects. And I did

1604
01:40:13.320 --> 01:40:17.500
that and I hung it up in my room. And I prayed into that all

1605
01:40:17.500 --> 01:40:20.380
the time. And even on that board, I'll have to maybe I'll

1606
01:40:20.380 --> 01:40:22.680
take a picture and share it in the group, you guys can see it.

1607
01:40:22.680 --> 01:40:26.760
But there was a lot of different things in there about ministry.

1608
01:40:26.760 --> 01:40:30.060
I knew God called me into the ministry, I was working in a

1609
01:40:30.060 --> 01:40:33.540
wealth and wealth interest management company, I was very

1610
01:40:33.540 --> 01:40:36.900
good at what I was doing. But I felt this tension all the time.

1611
01:40:36.900 --> 01:40:41.340
And there was just I wanted more of what God had for me. And so

1612
01:40:41.340 --> 01:40:46.420
what was interesting, is on this board, there were two planes,

1613
01:40:46.420 --> 01:40:49.060
and one plane was lower than the other. And there was a woman

1614
01:40:49.060 --> 01:40:52.460
standing and she had a foot on each plane. And I think about

1615
01:40:52.460 --> 01:41:00.080
this all the time. Because when I met Jackie, I was already

1616
01:41:00.080 --> 01:41:03.160
working full time and working in the church, I was already kind

1617
01:41:03.160 --> 01:41:07.100
of that woman standing in on top of two planes, if you will. And

1618
01:41:07.100 --> 01:41:10.720
then God brought Jackie into the mix. And then even with that

1619
01:41:10.760 --> 01:41:15.680
transition, I had to, I chose to I didn't have to see how even I

1620
01:41:15.680 --> 01:41:20.120
catch myself you all, I chose to step down from working for the

1621
01:41:20.120 --> 01:41:23.900
church, and go further into stuff with last year single, but

1622
01:41:23.900 --> 01:41:27.580
even in that process, God changed, he led me out, he

1623
01:41:27.580 --> 01:41:31.500
literally closed the door with my full time job. And so in that

1624
01:41:31.500 --> 01:41:36.260
timeframe, I basically became kind of a freelance, I started

1625
01:41:36.260 --> 01:41:40.380
doing social media ads and work for people in small businesses.

1626
01:41:40.380 --> 01:41:43.660
And I was just like piecing together that salary I used to

1627
01:41:43.660 --> 01:41:46.860
make. And I was kind of like, you know, in that place. But

1628
01:41:46.860 --> 01:41:50.520
then eventually God, like really caused things to settle.

1629
01:41:50.760 --> 01:41:54.660
And it, it literally things I have on that board without

1630
01:41:54.660 --> 01:41:58.740
knowing it have now manifested in my life. And it wasn't I

1631
01:41:58.740 --> 01:42:03.060
didn't become obsessive about it. But I leaned into what do I

1632
01:42:03.060 --> 01:42:07.240
really want? What do I want my life to look like? I wanted to

1633
01:42:07.240 --> 01:42:11.000
feel excited. I wanted to make an impact. I wanted to disciple

1634
01:42:11.000 --> 01:42:15.120
people and raise people up and develop them. Y'all I'm coaching

1635
01:42:15.120 --> 01:42:18.340
other coaches here in this community. I raise up leaders in

1636
01:42:18.340 --> 01:42:21.780
the church, like, you know, it's knowing who we are and what we

1637
01:42:21.780 --> 01:42:25.980
want. That's the core thing we need to do. And so I want to

1638
01:42:25.980 --> 01:42:30.740
encourage you to dream a little bit to not just get by, not just

1639
01:42:30.740 --> 01:42:36.060
a job to get by, but like, live in your best life. What's the

1640
01:42:36.060 --> 01:42:39.140
passion in you? What do you really want? And again, maybe

1641
01:42:39.140 --> 01:42:41.940
there's going to be steps that like, just like I said, I shared

1642
01:42:41.940 --> 01:42:45.440
that with you for purpose. It wasn't like boom, heartwork

1643
01:42:45.440 --> 01:42:48.920
coach working full time for last year single. No, there was stuff

1644
01:42:48.920 --> 01:42:55.440
in the transition that got me to where I am now. Right. And so I

1645
01:42:55.440 --> 01:42:58.200
believe God has something really fun for you something that's

1646
01:42:58.200 --> 01:43:02.400
going to cause you just to come alive and know yourself in ways

1647
01:43:02.400 --> 01:43:05.560
that you didn't even know yourself before. But part of

1648
01:43:05.560 --> 01:43:09.440
that is going to be allowing yourself to awaken, awake,

1649
01:43:09.780 --> 01:43:13.180
sleeper and rise up from the dead, right? And Christ will

1650
01:43:13.180 --> 01:43:17.100
shine on you. And I believe that God will bless that and give you

1651
01:43:17.100 --> 01:43:21.300
favor as you go now still, I think still go to that job fair,

1652
01:43:21.500 --> 01:43:24.220
because I think it's walking it out, believing by faith, you

1653
01:43:24.220 --> 01:43:29.060
never know, you may meet someone there, where maybe you'll work

1654
01:43:29.060 --> 01:43:32.420
for them, or maybe they'll open the door to you to someone else

1655
01:43:32.420 --> 01:43:36.660
that they know, with a different job. Let's go with expectation.

1656
01:43:36.800 --> 01:43:41.280
Let's go with faith. And even if those things don't happen, just

1657
01:43:41.280 --> 01:43:44.880
knowing that you're moving and trusting God, you're taking

1658
01:43:44.880 --> 01:43:48.320
steps towards what you believe he's he has for you. And that is

1659
01:43:48.320 --> 01:43:48.760
good.

1660
01:43:52.080 --> 01:43:56.360
I, when you said, we were saying, we're talking about the

1661
01:43:56.360 --> 01:43:59.520
dream board. But at the very end there, you said one particular

1662
01:43:59.520 --> 01:44:05.320
thing. And the question that everybody asked me, what is it

1663
01:44:05.340 --> 01:44:08.180
that you want? What is it that you're good at? What? What makes

1664
01:44:08.180 --> 01:44:13.180
you come alive? Yeah, I started answering that question. And I

1665
01:44:13.180 --> 01:44:18.860
realized, what I love to do is to teach people. And I don't

1666
01:44:18.860 --> 01:44:22.540
know, but I've never wanted to be like a school teacher.

1667
01:44:22.980 --> 01:44:26.220
Okay, so what kind of things do you like to teach? Let's let's

1668
01:44:26.220 --> 01:44:28.060
just talk about this for a second. What do you love to

1669
01:44:28.060 --> 01:44:28.660
teach?

1670
01:44:28.660 --> 01:44:32.840
The one thing I don't want to tell out loud. Oh, are you? Are

1671
01:44:32.840 --> 01:44:37.240
you afraid to say it out loud? I am a little bit. Yes. Why? Tell

1672
01:44:37.240 --> 01:44:37.640
me why?

1673
01:44:39.800 --> 01:44:45.360
Probably because I grew up in it. I, I love to teach people

1674
01:44:45.360 --> 01:44:50.800
about Jesus, because he is the love of my life. I wish

1675
01:44:51.200 --> 01:44:52.600
everybody knew.

1676
01:44:53.320 --> 01:44:55.320
So are you afraid that God's going to call you into

1677
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:03.720
you say it out loud? Okay, I feel the Holy Spirit, Chrissy,

1678
01:45:03.720 --> 01:45:07.040
God wants to heal the pain of the past regarding ministry for

1679
01:45:07.040 --> 01:45:11.140
you. That you know, the way whatever it is you, you

1680
01:45:11.140 --> 01:45:14.320
experience that you're afraid you're going to experience if

1681
01:45:14.320 --> 01:45:18.040
you go into this, that God wants to show you that you can have a

1682
01:45:18.040 --> 01:45:20.280
different path than what you experienced.

1683
01:45:20.280 --> 01:45:31.760
Y'all this is where remember hurt and community healed and

1684
01:45:31.760 --> 01:45:35.760
community hurt. I'm just going to say it hurt and ministry

1685
01:45:36.000 --> 01:45:38.400
healed and ministry. It doesn't mean you can't be healed in

1686
01:45:38.400 --> 01:45:44.760
other ways. Of course you can. But I genuinely believe that God

1687
01:45:44.760 --> 01:45:50.440
is leading you tonight in this. And he doesn't want you to be

1688
01:45:50.440 --> 01:45:53.840
afraid. Remember, fear is false evidence appearing real. So the

1689
01:45:53.840 --> 01:45:59.120
enemy is trying to inflate your fears and cause you to avoid

1690
01:45:59.120 --> 01:46:02.680
something. I mean, as soon as you started talking, raise your

1691
01:46:02.680 --> 01:46:07.920
hand everybody. If you started feeling her excitement and her

1692
01:46:07.920 --> 01:46:11.880
passion rise up as she started talking about teaching people

1693
01:46:11.880 --> 01:46:15.080
about Jesus, anyone else recognize that in her? I sure

1694
01:46:15.080 --> 01:46:20.400
did. You were like, you're like, I love to tell people about

1695
01:46:20.400 --> 01:46:26.560
Jesus. Like you just started coming alive, Chrissy. And so I

1696
01:46:26.560 --> 01:46:30.640
believe God just wants to remove all the barriers tonight for you.

1697
01:46:30.760 --> 01:46:33.000
This is just the beginning. It doesn't have to happen all

1698
01:46:33.000 --> 01:46:37.680
tonight. You can you you admitting that out loud to us.

1699
01:46:37.680 --> 01:46:41.280
Thank you for letting me take you there is step number one.

1700
01:46:41.280 --> 01:46:45.840
This is huge. And God can take you on a really exciting

1701
01:46:45.840 --> 01:46:50.480
adventure. There's so many good churches that are looking for

1702
01:46:50.480 --> 01:46:56.040
amazing people. I promise you that. I promise. You know, and

1703
01:46:56.040 --> 01:46:58.240
maybe that's not the route God has for you. Maybe it's

1704
01:46:58.240 --> 01:47:02.000
something else. Maybe it's a nonprofit. You know, um, I would

1705
01:47:02.000 --> 01:47:04.720
encourage you I know you're in Florida, I would encourage you

1706
01:47:04.720 --> 01:47:12.080
to look at LifeWise Academy. LifeWise Academy, our church is

1707
01:47:12.080 --> 01:47:15.040
partnering with them. And we have children that come over

1708
01:47:15.040 --> 01:47:18.320
from a church, or excuse me from the elementary school to our

1709
01:47:18.320 --> 01:47:22.640
church. And we are teaching them Bible, and they get credits for

1710
01:47:22.640 --> 01:47:27.440
that in the school. And there's people that work for LifeWise as

1711
01:47:27.440 --> 01:47:29.440
well. Okay, so we have volunteers, and then there's

1712
01:47:29.440 --> 01:47:32.800
people that work for them. And so not that that will be what

1713
01:47:32.800 --> 01:47:36.480
will work, but I would check into that. And there's all kinds

1714
01:47:36.480 --> 01:47:38.960
of teaching gifts and all kinds of things you could use with

1715
01:47:38.960 --> 01:47:42.880
their organization. There's tons of ways that you could use your

1716
01:47:42.880 --> 01:47:47.200
teaching gift to tell people about Jesus. Okay. It can look

1717
01:47:47.240 --> 01:47:50.120
it can look, you know, so different than what you have

1718
01:47:50.120 --> 01:47:53.320
experienced in the past. And again, I think God wants to

1719
01:47:53.320 --> 01:47:56.160
restore and heal that. So I'm going to be praying for you.

1720
01:47:56.160 --> 01:47:59.480
We're going to pray for you. Right, sisters, and believe in

1721
01:47:59.480 --> 01:48:03.160
God to really bring some some good things in the days ahead

1722
01:48:03.160 --> 01:48:03.640
in that.

1723
01:48:04.360 --> 01:48:09.920
I can say one more thing. So recently, in these, like past

1724
01:48:09.920 --> 01:48:18.920
two weeks, I think I felt the call to like, learn more, I want

1725
01:48:18.920 --> 01:48:23.040
to learn. And when I thought about what I want to learn, it

1726
01:48:23.040 --> 01:48:25.160
was actually I think it was after Supernatural Saturday

1727
01:48:25.160 --> 01:48:29.280
where Jackie said, listen to those nudges when you say what

1728
01:48:29.280 --> 01:48:32.360
if, and I woke up in the middle of night, and I thought, what if

1729
01:48:32.920 --> 01:48:37.280
I was learning about this stuff? And I love archaeology. And I

1730
01:48:37.280 --> 01:48:40.840
love putting it together with God's Word and saying, Oh, here,

1731
01:48:41.320 --> 01:48:44.760
this is where God said that, like Ancient Aliens is one of my

1732
01:48:44.760 --> 01:48:46.840
favorite shows is weird, but I like it.

1733
01:48:48.120 --> 01:48:51.800
And you know, God needs all different people in the body,

1734
01:48:51.840 --> 01:48:55.680
the body has many parts, but if every part is needed, Chrissy.

1735
01:48:57.080 --> 01:49:00.600
And so okay, I don't want to go to seminary. Well, you don't

1736
01:49:00.600 --> 01:49:05.000
have to. You know that, right? There's all different kinds.

1737
01:49:05.040 --> 01:49:08.720
Okay, you and I probably need to connect offline too, because my

1738
01:49:08.720 --> 01:49:14.000
husband's getting he's getting ready to start teaching classes

1739
01:49:14.480 --> 01:49:17.960
for people that may never want to go to a college or a

1740
01:49:17.960 --> 01:49:23.360
university but would like to follow a path in ministry. And I

1741
01:49:23.360 --> 01:49:26.800
can get you connected because there's different people that do

1742
01:49:26.800 --> 01:49:30.680
that in different places too. So in addition to my husband, but I

1743
01:49:30.680 --> 01:49:32.680
can get you connected to that. And again, that might not be the

1744
01:49:32.680 --> 01:49:35.960
outlet or the direction you go, but it might help you learn more

1745
01:49:35.960 --> 01:49:42.320
and know where to go from there. In addition to that board, I'm

1746
01:49:42.320 --> 01:49:46.720
really just thinking you should look into just even if it's just

1747
01:49:46.720 --> 01:49:49.720
kind of wetting your palate, if you will just start looking into

1748
01:49:49.760 --> 01:49:56.240
some classes of what is again, what is your passion? And then

1749
01:49:56.240 --> 01:50:00.040
maybe God will piece together how to get there. Okay.

1750
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:05.400
But let's not just shut down and be like, I don't want to go to cemetery or seven seminary.

1751
01:50:05.400 --> 01:50:07.960
I want to go to the cemetery tonight either.

1752
01:50:07.960 --> 01:50:11.080
You all, what just happened?

1753
01:50:11.080 --> 01:50:12.560
Seminary.

1754
01:50:12.560 --> 01:50:18.240
I went to a church service with a rabbi who said that he goes, Oh, don't go to cemetery

1755
01:50:18.240 --> 01:50:21.720
because that's where religion, you know, where, where that goes to die.

1756
01:50:21.720 --> 01:50:25.320
And I was like, Oh, I wonder if that like spoke something to me that I didn't want.

1757
01:50:25.320 --> 01:50:26.720
And I had to like pray out of that.

1758
01:50:26.720 --> 01:50:30.560
I don't think I've ever said cemetery instead of seminary.

1759
01:50:30.560 --> 01:50:32.080
So maybe that's why that happened.

1760
01:50:32.080 --> 01:50:33.920
I don't know.

1761
01:50:33.920 --> 01:50:34.920
I'll blame it on that.

1762
01:50:34.920 --> 01:50:37.840
Holy spirit got in there and twisted my tongue.

1763
01:50:37.840 --> 01:50:43.680
But um, yeah, I think the reality is let's not shut ladies, whatever your thing is, let's

1764
01:50:43.680 --> 01:50:49.180
not shut it down because of some fear that you have to do it a certain way and, and really

1765
01:50:49.180 --> 01:50:55.340
allow yourself to just dream first without all the reasons of the why's we can't.

1766
01:50:55.340 --> 01:50:57.020
And I'm going to do it with you too.

1767
01:50:57.020 --> 01:50:58.020
Okay.

1768
01:50:58.020 --> 01:51:01.940
I'm going to keep walking into the book thing and you guys can walk into the things God

1769
01:51:01.940 --> 01:51:03.060
has for you.

1770
01:51:03.060 --> 01:51:06.460
I know that I see Sarah M has her hand up as well.

1771
01:51:06.460 --> 01:51:08.020
I know you probably want to share.

1772
01:51:08.020 --> 01:51:10.940
I have a few minutes and then I'm going to have to jump off.

1773
01:51:10.940 --> 01:51:12.540
So Chrissy, thank you for that.

1774
01:51:12.540 --> 01:51:17.540
Sharon, thank you for your courage and letting us come into that with you tonight.

1775
01:51:17.540 --> 01:51:18.540
Really appreciate that.

1776
01:51:18.540 --> 01:51:19.540
Sarah, go ahead.

1777
01:51:19.540 --> 01:51:20.540
Hi, Bethany.

1778
01:51:20.540 --> 01:51:21.540
Hi everybody.

1779
01:51:21.540 --> 01:51:28.620
Um, I have, um, had some victories, some victories this year, which I'm very thankful

1780
01:51:28.620 --> 01:51:35.700
for with, um, the manipulation of that I was experiencing from somebody and, uh, just kind

1781
01:51:35.700 --> 01:51:39.620
of like getting out of that, which I'm so thankful for.

1782
01:51:39.620 --> 01:51:46.460
But, um, you were talking about church and, um, how leaders can, are, are, you know, they're

1783
01:51:46.460 --> 01:51:47.460
flawed.

1784
01:51:47.700 --> 01:51:50.380
Obviously we're all flawed, we're, we're humans.

1785
01:51:50.380 --> 01:51:58.300
And, um, so, um, the repercussions of that, like I, I didn't explicitly tell the relative

1786
01:51:58.300 --> 01:52:02.820
of this person who was manipulating me that I wanted him to butt out, but because he was

1787
01:52:02.820 --> 01:52:08.020
very much butting into like our business and trying to manipulate me to get into something

1788
01:52:08.020 --> 01:52:10.860
that I didn't feel good about with his brother.

1789
01:52:10.860 --> 01:52:16.740
Um, I didn't explicitly say it, you know, but I was trying to show it, you know, with,

1790
01:52:17.020 --> 01:52:18.980
you know, nonverbal communication stuff.

1791
01:52:18.980 --> 01:52:24.180
But, um, now, um, I kind of, I think the way I handled it, which I didn't realize it was

1792
01:52:24.180 --> 01:52:29.780
going to be that way, but I, I ended up, uh, being critical about him and his wife's parenting

1793
01:52:29.780 --> 01:52:32.860
about something, which was, I thought was very minor, but at the same time, I'm sure

1794
01:52:32.860 --> 01:52:36.900
they took offense and now he hates me.

1795
01:52:36.900 --> 01:52:40.940
And he's the one, he's like the head pastor, quote unquote, he's the head pastor.

1796
01:52:40.940 --> 01:52:46.500
And, um, so I wanna, it's like, and then I get angry and I'm angry and it's just like

1797
01:52:47.260 --> 01:52:48.260
this, you know what I mean?

1798
01:52:48.260 --> 01:52:52.420
And it's like, I would, I really just wanted him to butt out, you know, he's trying to,

1799
01:52:52.420 --> 01:52:56.020
to do things for his brother, but it's like, let your brother do things for himself.

1800
01:52:56.020 --> 01:52:59.700
Let him experience, you know, rejection.

1801
01:52:59.700 --> 01:53:03.900
It might, you know, it doesn't feel good, but it's like, we all have to, you know, there's

1802
01:53:03.900 --> 01:53:10.620
reasons and, uh, and he just, he was just being so headstrong, this brother pastor.

1803
01:53:10.620 --> 01:53:14.900
And um, and now it's like, I feel like he hates me because I was, I, and I, I guess

1804
01:53:14.900 --> 01:53:19.580
I could say, you know, I didn't mean to come off as being critical, but, um, I was kind

1805
01:53:19.580 --> 01:53:20.580
of doing it.

1806
01:53:20.580 --> 01:53:24.260
It turned out to be like a, a, um, a defense mechanism, right?

1807
01:53:24.260 --> 01:53:27.980
Cause it's like, the pressure was just on me, on me, on me that he was putting on me

1808
01:53:27.980 --> 01:53:30.260
and it just kind of came out that way.

1809
01:53:30.260 --> 01:53:32.700
And now I feel like he hates my guts and he totally ignores me.

1810
01:53:32.700 --> 01:53:35.820
Like he's totally, you know, pastor, the pastor brother.

1811
01:53:35.820 --> 01:53:38.940
And so I'm just like, and we've kind of been stepping on each other's toes, but I've been

1812
01:53:38.940 --> 01:53:42.620
trying to, you know, anyway, so it's just been, I don't know too.

1813
01:53:42.620 --> 01:53:46.740
I know you were talking about how we're all flawed and leaders, including of churches.

1814
01:53:46.740 --> 01:53:51.380
And so I just was wondering if you could give some advice about this because I, like I said,

1815
01:53:51.380 --> 01:53:57.260
I'm, I'm, I'm the brother now and I have peace, you know, we're not like for the most part,

1816
01:53:57.260 --> 01:54:00.580
but now it's the brother pastor who hates my guts.

1817
01:54:00.580 --> 01:54:01.900
Well, okay.

1818
01:54:01.900 --> 01:54:06.100
So the first thing I'm going to encourage you to not assume anything.

1819
01:54:06.100 --> 01:54:07.100
Okay.

1820
01:54:07.100 --> 01:54:08.100
All right.

1821
01:54:08.100 --> 01:54:11.980
I'm assuming makes a double S out of this y'all.

1822
01:54:11.980 --> 01:54:12.980
Okay.

1823
01:54:12.980 --> 01:54:13.980
Okay.

1824
01:54:13.980 --> 01:54:14.980
Here's the thing.

1825
01:54:14.980 --> 01:54:20.420
What's happening is you probably feel that tension because you said something kind of

1826
01:54:20.420 --> 01:54:24.780
whether it was abrupt or, you know, what, however you said it, I think part of that

1827
01:54:24.780 --> 01:54:28.860
for you, Sarah, is because you held back for so long and you didn't say what you really

1828
01:54:28.860 --> 01:54:31.060
needed to say on the front end.

1829
01:54:31.060 --> 01:54:34.740
And so that tension and you was building, I'm not excusing that, but that's the reality.

1830
01:54:34.780 --> 01:54:39.500
I tell you all, all the time, if we hold stuff in and we push it down, push it down, push

1831
01:54:39.500 --> 01:54:40.500
it.

1832
01:54:40.500 --> 01:54:42.980
Eventually it's going to come out like a volcano.

1833
01:54:42.980 --> 01:54:44.060
Okay.

1834
01:54:44.060 --> 01:54:46.540
And that's going to look different for everybody.

1835
01:54:46.540 --> 01:54:48.780
But I think that's probably what's happened here.

1836
01:54:48.780 --> 01:54:51.300
And so he may feel awkward.

1837
01:54:51.300 --> 01:54:54.020
He may not know how to approach you.

1838
01:54:54.020 --> 01:54:55.460
But you know what?

1839
01:54:55.460 --> 01:54:58.340
You don't need to worry about what he's thinking.

1840
01:54:58.340 --> 01:54:59.340
Okay.

1841
01:54:59.340 --> 01:55:00.340
Okay.

1842
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:02.880
need to worry about is what is God's not even worry about it,

1843
01:55:00.340 --> 01:55:00.340


1844
01:55:02.880 --> 01:55:08.200
but focus on what is God saying to you, Sarah? Okay, okay. And

1845
01:55:08.200 --> 01:55:15.200
if God leads you to apologize to him, don't excuse your apology,

1846
01:55:15.240 --> 01:55:20.560
like, just say you're sorry. Okay, okay. So even though he

1847
01:55:20.560 --> 01:55:25.040
was doing wrong, we don't want to react to people. And then now

1848
01:55:25.080 --> 01:55:27.680
now we've done it wrong. Does that make sense? We want to

1849
01:55:27.680 --> 01:55:29.960
learn how to set healthy boundaries and you were doing

1850
01:55:29.960 --> 01:55:32.200
the best. I really do believe this. I think you're probably

1851
01:55:32.200 --> 01:55:35.400
doing the best that you could in that moment. But again, because

1852
01:55:35.400 --> 01:55:39.320
you held that down for so long, it just came out. Probably not

1853
01:55:39.320 --> 01:55:45.280
in the best way. Just what you're sharing. And so I think

1854
01:55:45.280 --> 01:55:51.200
praying and really asking God to help you and the pastor

1855
01:55:51.200 --> 01:55:56.000
reconcile if that is his plan for the two of you. You may also

1856
01:55:56.000 --> 01:55:59.520
be wanting to ask the Lord and again, I'm just planting seeds.

1857
01:56:00.160 --> 01:56:05.240
Is that the church that you are supposed to stay in? Yeah. Okay.

1858
01:56:05.520 --> 01:56:09.400
Because God may be using this to move you.

1859
01:56:10.800 --> 01:56:15.000
Yeah, I just it's like, I just I maybe and that's true. But I

1860
01:56:15.000 --> 01:56:18.640
just feel like where because it's like the last church. It

1861
01:56:18.640 --> 01:56:20.880
was kind of a similar thing. So I don't know if it's like

1862
01:56:20.880 --> 01:56:30.320
something that I'm doing. Okay, so Sarah, this is really good

1863
01:56:30.320 --> 01:56:34.080
self awareness. So you remember when I said to you that when I

1864
01:56:34.080 --> 01:56:39.480
started seeing or to you all all of you all, when I started on

1865
01:56:40.240 --> 01:56:43.840
when I broke up with the girl's dad, I started talking and the

1866
01:56:43.840 --> 01:56:45.600
new ladies probably haven't heard this. But I started

1867
01:56:45.600 --> 01:56:48.400
talking to account like trying to work with a counselor. And

1868
01:56:48.400 --> 01:56:52.320
her question to me was, why do you feel like I you know, like

1869
01:56:52.320 --> 01:56:55.120
we would be a good match as far as you working with me as your

1870
01:56:55.120 --> 01:57:00.040
counselor. And I said to her, well, I'm the common

1871
01:57:00.040 --> 01:57:03.040
denominator in all the relationships that I've been in.

1872
01:57:03.240 --> 01:57:06.520
Like I keep attracting unhealthy guys. I'm the common

1873
01:57:06.520 --> 01:57:10.600
denominator. I want to figure out what is going on here that's

1874
01:57:10.600 --> 01:57:14.520
causing this. So Sarah, you may want to work with a counselor on

1875
01:57:14.520 --> 01:57:16.800
this as well, because they're going to be with you in the day

1876
01:57:16.800 --> 01:57:20.960
to day, and really process the nuts and bolts of that those two

1877
01:57:20.960 --> 01:57:23.200
dynamics. Because if this has happened in more than one

1878
01:57:23.200 --> 01:57:26.280
church, there might be something you know, that God's really

1879
01:57:26.280 --> 01:57:30.360
trying to reveal to you in the way you approach people, or have

1880
01:57:30.360 --> 01:57:34.240
lack of boundaries, and then, you know, have some kind of like,

1881
01:57:34.680 --> 01:57:38.600
strong, like where then you come through strong, you know, I mean,

1882
01:57:38.600 --> 01:57:42.160
like almost, again, this might not be right, but the word that

1883
01:57:42.160 --> 01:57:46.680
comes to mind abrasive, you know, potentially, but because I

1884
01:57:46.680 --> 01:57:49.240
wasn't there, I couldn't see, I don't really know how you're

1885
01:57:49.240 --> 01:57:53.000
coming across. But I think God's trying to show you that maybe

1886
01:57:53.000 --> 01:57:57.480
there is something there. So the best thing would be to ask him,

1887
01:57:57.480 --> 01:58:00.360
is there, okay, what's the similarity between these two

1888
01:58:00.360 --> 01:58:04.800
situations? You know, did I react very similarly in both of

1889
01:58:04.800 --> 01:58:11.040
these churches? Or here's the other thing to consider. Do you

1890
01:58:11.080 --> 01:58:17.760
tend to pick churches where the leadership is unhealthy? I don't

1891
01:58:17.760 --> 01:58:20.800
know if this guy's unhealthy. I'm just planting seeds for you

1892
01:58:20.800 --> 01:58:25.280
to ask the Lord about, okay. Right. Okay. Because just like

1893
01:58:25.280 --> 01:58:28.800
we can choose relationships that are unhealthy, you all we can

1894
01:58:28.800 --> 01:58:32.920
absolutely choose community that is unhealthy jobs that are

1895
01:58:32.920 --> 01:58:37.400
unhealthy. And, you know, church communities that are unhealthy.

1896
01:58:37.800 --> 01:58:40.800
If we're not, if we're not healthy, we might be

1897
01:58:40.800 --> 01:58:43.680
gravitating towards those things in multiple areas of our life.

1898
01:58:43.680 --> 01:58:46.320
And so it's just something worth considering and praying into.

1899
01:58:47.160 --> 01:58:50.000
Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah, you're welcome. Y'all.

1900
01:58:50.000 --> 01:58:52.400
This has been a great night, Sarah, thank you for sharing

1901
01:58:52.400 --> 01:58:55.040
that. That takes courage to share too. And I'm so proud of

1902
01:58:55.040 --> 01:58:59.520
you for saying like, hey, well, I'm noticing this pattern with

1903
01:58:59.520 --> 01:59:03.280
what if it is me? Okay, so that's a really brave thing to

1904
01:59:03.280 --> 01:59:06.040
say and do. So we're gonna be praying for you about that, too.

1905
01:59:06.360 --> 01:59:09.600
I'm gonna go ahead and close us down for the night. Father,

1906
01:59:09.600 --> 01:59:13.200
thank you so much for who you are. God, I thank you for

1907
01:59:13.200 --> 01:59:15.520
everything that's been accomplished in your spirit

1908
01:59:16.360 --> 01:59:19.120
tonight as well as in the days to come. I pray that you would

1909
01:59:19.120 --> 01:59:22.720
just continue to place a hedge of protection around every one

1910
01:59:22.720 --> 01:59:24.840
of the ladies that's in the heart work right now and their

1911
01:59:24.840 --> 01:59:27.280
families God that you would guard and keep watch over them

1912
01:59:27.280 --> 01:59:30.320
and all of their possessions as well. God, I ask you to give

1913
01:59:30.320 --> 01:59:33.880
them favor everywhere they go God that you would awaken dreams

1914
01:59:33.920 --> 01:59:36.920
within them. God that you would quicken passions that you would

1915
01:59:36.920 --> 01:59:40.160
heal the areas where they believe the lie of the enemy

1916
01:59:40.160 --> 01:59:42.840
that you don't care about them. God, I pray that you would help

1917
01:59:42.840 --> 01:59:45.760
them to hear what your voice is saying. Help them to hear how

1918
01:59:45.760 --> 01:59:48.400
your heart is crying out to them. Help them to see the

1919
01:59:48.400 --> 01:59:52.440
goodness of God all around them, including the birds and how you

1920
01:59:52.440 --> 01:59:56.160
take care of the birds and let that be a reminder to them that

1921
01:59:56.160 --> 01:59:58.880
you're going to take care of them too. We just believe all

1922
01:59:58.880 --> 02:00:00.040
these things and Jesus.

1923
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:07.000
God bless you. Have a good night, everyone.