Hello. Good evening, everyone. Welcome to our evening session of HeartWork for this
week. So glad to have you all joining us tonight. I see some of y'all already on screen. Hello.
Hello. If you can come on screen, we'd love to see you. If you're new and you're joining
us for the first time tonight, as in you've just joined the community, you've never been
on a live session with us before, say hi to us. Let us know you're new so we can welcome
you not only into the session tonight, but into the community. And we want to know who
you are. For those of you rejoining us, coming back, it's great to have you with us tonight.
My name is Bethany Cooper. I'm one of the master HeartWork coaches here in the community.
And one of the success stories of the community, God's been doing a lot in my life in the last
five and a half years. I can't believe it. Almost. Is that right? Something like that.
But we're glad that you're here. And we want to hear from you not only tonight, but also
in the group. I know we talked a few months ago about moving us over to the Facebook group.
We are going to start moving on that a little more quickly in the next few weeks, you all.
So we're just really looking forward to having it feel a little bit easier for y'all to communicate
and catch up and see our responses, us see your responses, all of the things. So be looking
forward to that. Don't worry about asking about it. As soon as it's ready to go, you
guys are going to know it's ready. So just wait for us to announce it. And then we'll
let you know how to get over there. And we'll put a link in the resources tab here. So it
should be super easy for you to find it. But looking forward to that coming here in the
next few weeks. So why do we encourage you to post in this group? Why do we encourage
you to come on camera? Well, we believe hurt in community, healed in community, hurt in
relationship, healed in relationship, part of the goal of the heartwork process. Obviously,
there's a lot to it. But one of the things that we really want to help you do is come
out of hiding, allow yourself to be seen, known and loved, heard, know that your voice
you know, long time ago, you might be surprised what's still underneath the surface that has
in many different ways caused you to back off from feeling like you have something valid
to say or that what is on your heart actually matters. So that can show up in lots and lots
of ways. One of the things that I often see in people that are really struggling with
isolation or withdraws that they don't ever come on camera. I had a lady say to us, to me
in our church not that long ago, we were at an event and she had sat all the way in the
back and we had these round tables set up in the front where everybody was sitting for
this class thing we were doing. And I went over and I just said, Hey, do you want to
come join us? You know, we're all sitting up at the tables, you know, and she said, Oh,
I'm, I'm just a wall. She actually used the verbiage. I'm a wallflower. I prefer not to
be seen. And I said, Well, we're all sitting up at these tables. I kind of tried to encourage
again, and she did come and but she still sat towards the back, which that's fine. It's
not about pressuring you all. But the reason I bring that up is that, you know, I've learned
from Jackie years ago, and I see it since I've been coaching so many times, that at
some point, we believe the lie that we were a wallflower that we were better, you know,
to maybe be seen but not heard. And, and so we kind of stay on the outskirts, if you will,
we're in a community, but we don't fully engage, we don't fully connect with our other
sisters. And we don't even sometimes take the full advantage of the things that we sign
up for, right. And so we want to encourage you, like, don't just sit at the back of the
room, if you will, come up and sit at the table with us. You know, when there's opportunities
for you to get coaching in the group, you know, via text or on these live sessions,
when I encourage you to, even when it's scary to ask the questions, because you all there
are no dumb questions, I promise you, I promise you, every question matters. All right.
distractions are going to come for you. Old guys are going to resurface. It's true. It
happens all the time. Kids are going to start having problems. Some of you all I hope this
doesn't happen to you, but you might face sickness arising. I don't know if you all
have ever, you know, had something really important coming up. And then all of a sudden,
you're sick out of nowhere. Well, I had that happen just this last week, we were getting
ready. I was preaching on Sunday yesterday, my husband got really sick, I caught whatever
he had. And so it was a ripple effect that can happen. That might happen for you in the
I want to encourage you that even though the enemy might be trying to hinder you from healing
in your heart and your love.
life, that you can stay focused. Don't give up. Every day, just
take one step. That's what I try to encourage everybody. If we
will just take that imperfect action, and I like to break it
down into the, what can you do today to invest in your
heartwork? Just, just one thing. If you can do more than one
thing, awesome. But so many people will start to feel
overwhelmed and then just shut down. But if we can just
remember, God, I know that the same power that rose Jesus from
the dead is available to me. Help me to tap into that power
today to work on my heartwork and stay focused and not get
distracted. So I want you all to kind of practice praying and
inviting the Holy Spirit that is available to you to be your
partner in this journey. He's your comforter. He's your
counselor. He's your guide. He knows where to lead you and how
to lead you and how quick to take you or slow to take you and
all of the things. All right. The last housekeeping I have for
you tonight is our Supernatural Saturday. Prophecy is a guide
post, not a map. Wow. So many tools were given out on
Saturday. If you didn't hear that replay, if you go into the
Last Year Single app under the replays area, that tab there,
you're going to find that replay. Definitely listen to it
once, if not more than once, because there was a lot of
things mentioned in there that are going to be really helpful
to you, including that prophecy should line up with the Word of
God. It should line up with what God is already saying to you.
Just giving you a little teaser. There's a lot of goodness and
truth packed in that. I hope you'll check it out. Let me go
ahead and pray for us. And we're going to jump right in tonight.
Father, thank you so much for everything that you're doing in
our lives. God, we thank you for all of the revealings for
healing that are going to happen. We thank you, God, that
you can take all of the things out of darkness in our hearts
and our lives and bring them to the surface at the appointed
time, God, that you are the great dot connector. Nothing is
too hard for you. God, I thank you that we won't despise the
day of small beginnings, that we won't minimize any aspect of our
heart work, God, that some days we're going to feel big
breakthroughs and other days we might not, but God, it's all
worth it. God, I thank you that in the still quiet moments that
you would just come and minister to every wound in every area
that has tripped them up in the past, God, that you would remove
obstacles, God, that you would help them to hear what your
spirit is saying louder than any voice of the enemy. Holy Spirit,
I thank you for coming. We invite you to come and be with
us here tonight, that you would guide our conversation and every
aspect of the session that you would, Lord, help me to decrease
so that you can increase and make yourself known. Lord, we
thank you that you care about all of us and you have a divine
plan and purpose for us. God, I pray that you would lead us all
into the fullness of your plan for us a little bit more tonight
in Jesus name. Amen. I'm so excited tonight to talk about
supernatural surrender. A little bit later after your breakout
session, I am going to touch on the Jesus Cares Board and that
aspect of supernatural surrender, because I want to
show you guys a couple pictures and ideas, but I just don't want
to distract you right in the beginning where you start
thinking too far into that. But in our community, Jackie, God
led Jackie to basically do a Jesus Cares Board years ago, and
she started using it, implementing it, and that has
taught so many people in our community. And then now we are
teaching other people as well. It's all about praying and asking
God, asking Jesus like to take the cares off of us and put them
on him, but it's actively doing it. So it's not just praying,
but it's taking it, writing it out on a post-it note, and put
it in up on that board, if you will. And I'm going to show you
that you can do your board all different kinds of ways. And
again, we'll dive into that a little bit more later tonight.
So supernatural surrender is all about letting God add his super
to our natural every single day that we are partnering with him
in the journey, including surrendering the pen completely
to him. We want to encourage you to release it all to allow
something to move freely, to act freely in and through you,
where in the past, you might have tried to Jesus, you know,
take the wheel, where you're like giving it to him, then
you're taking it back, you're giving it to him, and then
you're taking it back. Why do we do that? Well, we tend to do
that when we think that God isn't moving quick enough,
right? Or that he's not doing it the way that we thought he would
or wanted him to, or however that looks for everyone. It's a
little bit different, right? We bring into every relationship,
including our relationship with God, our history, the backstory
behind us, how our parents raised us, the ways we learn to
think, the way
that we learn to live in everything.
And so tonight, we want you just to kind of partner
with the truth from John 15, verses four through five.
It's all about God saying,
remain in me as I also remain in you.
No branch can bear fruit by itself.
It must remain in the vine.
Jesus was actually talking at this time,
but we know that God, the Father, Jesus Christ,
and the Holy Spirit are all one, you all.
So if Jesus is saying, hey, remain in me
as I remain in you,
he's saying to us that we're gonna,
he's inviting us to do the same thing.
Be with me like I am with my Father.
That's what this scripture, there's so much more to it,
but it's basically continuing to say over and over,
like, you can't bear fruit unless you remain in me.
I'm the vine, you're the branches.
If you remain in me, then I'm gonna remain in you.
And then you'll bear much fruit.
So isn't it much greater to bear fruit
versus walking away and feeling like
we're not bearing anything?
I know that I've had areas of my life before
where I was just like, man, I just,
nothing's happening there.
I'm praying and I'm praying and I'm praying
and nothing, just nothing's happening.
But here's the reality.
I had an incorrect heart posture and perspective
when I was looking at some of those situations.
I needed some more healing
that I didn't even know what I needed.
We don't know what we don't know until we know it.
And so God is gonna continue to help you
as you surrender to him to see even blind spots,
filters, things that have been holding you up in the past.
Remember that God is a gentleman,
so he's not gonna force his way in on you.
I always like to liken it to a do not enter sign.
That's the way at least,
these are the kind of ways I relate to God.
I literally one time was praying and it was like,
God was like, you gotta do not enter sign in there
and certain areas of your heart.
It wasn't something I was even doing intentionally.
It was literally just what was there
because of what I had been through, right?
And so little by little,
he just kept inviting me to take the sign down.
And some of that do not enter
came through the revelation of listening
to things that Jackie was saying through the empowerment
and the leading of the Holy Spirit
in this course years ago when I took it.
And so oftentimes the reason we erect those signs
is because we're scared somewhere.
We're scared the little girl on the inside of us
is still broken in some way, shape or form.
And she's not sure it's safe to come out.
And so the Holy Spirit, he's in there calling out
and he's like, come out, come out wherever you are.
And I know that's kind of like a kid's game, right?
We used to play hide and seek
and we would call out to one another
to get people to come out of hiding.
And the Holy Spirit is saying the same thing to us.
He's asking us, will you come out so that you can be found?
It's about giving God permission to access our hearts.
Remember, he's not gonna force his way in
so he has to get in somehow.
Well, it's just the same thing
when we accept Jesus as our savior,
he doesn't come in, force us into relationship.
No, we choose.
We pray and we invite him to come in and live in us, right?
So don't you think it's the same process
when it comes to your heart healing?
Now, I will tell you,
God is gonna lovingly continue to nudge you
and try to lead you towards what is best for you.
And if you're like me,
sometimes you think you know what's best for you
and it's absolutely not good for you at all.
I've talked about my prior relationship.
I've had, you know, I was married before you all.
I was married to my ex-husband for 12 years
and it was not good, most of it.
But I did not believe in divorce
and I believed in just continuing to pray
and those are all very noble things.
And I'm not mad that I continue to believe
for that to change.
I'm glad I did.
Because when I finally chose to leave,
when it was abusive
and it was becoming more and more destructive,
I finally, I really knew I did everything that I could.
And so I had peace.
But praise God, he came on a rescue mission for me.
Because I was crying out to him for a while,
like, God help me, I don't, I'm trying,
I don't know what to do.
And he heard me and he answered me.
But you know, I had to be willing
to go on the journey that he took me on to.
I went to some classes,
overcoming power.
and your relationships, I talked to a social worker.
I mean, things I never thought I would have been doing,
you all.
That wasn't the picture I had planned when I got married.
Sitting in a class with a bunch of women
talking about the different ways
their spouses were abusing them.
Not the picture I had planned.
But, you know, in the middle of that,
God shined his light.
Not only was he helping me,
but I ended up meeting another woman.
And as I was getting help,
God led me to help her get out of her situation too.
And that's how God works sometimes.
And I believe that's part of what this community does
in a sense, you know,
not that you all are getting necessarily out of marriages,
but you're getting out of these places in your heart
that have kept you in bondage and fear.
Revelation 3.20 says,
You know, here's this amazing picture of God saying,
like, hey, I'm standing at the door.
I'm knocking on your heart.
Will you choose to let me come in?
If you hear my voice and open the door,
not only is he gonna come in, but he's gonna sup with us.
He's gonna have a meal.
He wants to have fellowship.
He wants to have intimacy.
Just like, you know,
if you're in a situation where you're in a relationship
and you're in a situation where you're in a relationship
he wants to have intimacy,
just like Jesus is one with him.
You know, he wants us to also be one with them.
Andrea was coaching this afternoon
and I loved the way she said something
about supernatural surrender being active trust.
And I was like, man, that's really good.
I don't know if she heard that from Jackie
or that God just gave her that,
but that was, it was really powerful when she said it.
And so I want you to be thinking about
how can you actively trust God tonight?
Asking God the same thing tomorrow.
What does it look like to literally picture
giving the things that you are worried about to him,
you know, putting them on your board,
but also even after it's on the board,
looking at the board and reminding yourself,
Jesus, thank you that you're working on these situations
and call him out by name.
Jesus, thank you that right now
you're sitting at the right hand of the father interceding.
Let's say one of the things on my board
is Michaela and Olivia Scott.
Those are my spiritual daughters.
Thank you that right now,
I believe that you are bringing the light of the world
into the great darkness that they are encountering,
that you're gonna bring them out of that darkness
into the light and that they are going to be transformed
and they are going to ask for me in my house,
serve the Lord.
You know, that we start really leaning into
that I can't control their decisions,
but I can't carry the weight of all of that either.
I gotta give it to him.
I gotta trust him.
And I think back,
I wonder what it was like for my mom or my family
or my friends.
Some of my friends begged me to leave that relationship
with the girl's dad and I just stayed.
And it was really bad.
And so people were praying for me,
just like I'm praying for my girls.
And so whatever that thing is for you,
I wanna encourage you to really lean into like
the Lord helping you surrender that tonight.
And some of you, you're gonna be like,
well, I've surrendered this thing
over and over and over again.
And I wanna encourage you.
You know, I've been reading,
I'm not gonna talk about the name of the book
cause we focus on the heart work while y'all are here,
but I've been reading this book
and how to pray for your loved ones.
And it's restoring my hope
because just like all of you, sometimes,
even if you wanna relate this to your love story,
right now I'm talking about interceding
and praying for lost loved ones,
but doesn't it get at points weary?
You feel weary when you're praying for transformation,
you're praying for change,
but the physical isn't lining up, right?
But sometimes we've gotta ask God to renew our hope,
to fill our hope tank,
to give us a fresh revelation, a fresh understanding
so that we can partner back in unison with him
to keep believing for that thing to change
because he is a good father who has good gifts for us.
And sometimes we're just not in alignment
or the other person isn't,
but that doesn't mean that he's not working.
It doesn't mean that he's not trying
to line things up for us.
I 100% know that long before I officially
gave my life to Jesus Christ,
that he was wooing me and drawing me.
You all, as a little girl, I can remember.
Now, back then, I don't know if I knew 100%
if I was praying to God,
but I also remember being in VBS
and I cannot tell you how much I was moved by that.
tell you what happened, but I specifically remember where I was sitting.
And I can't tell you how much I was moved
We were at the school and we were at these tables back behind this school and
the sun was shining.
And I remember knowing that I had heard from God,
have no clue what was said or any of those things.
And that I just felt different from other kids,
but it didn't feel like a bad different.
And then years later, just sitting in the sun and I was drawing.
And I just kept looking up at the sun and y'all, and I'm not trying to sound
kooky, but I just,
I just felt this connection and it wasn't with the sun.
You all pay, not the physical sun as in the
sunlight. But I believe I, I knew that there, God was,
he was there and I just felt connected to him.
And there are other times like I was going to church with my mom.
At one point I had my Bible and, and I was highlighting scriptures.
I wasn't doing that because anybody told me to,
there were things the preacher was saying. And I was like, wow,
that that's speaking to me. Now I didn't have that language back then,
but I knew there was something God was, God was calling out to
me. I mean, I was young then.
I didn't give my life to the Lord until I was 20.
That was 20 years old.
Praise the Lord that I finally did, but it took a while,
but God was wooing me and calling me that whole time
and pursuing me. And so for some of you that
you're like, I've been praying for a husband for 20 years.
I want you to understand it's similar to what I just explained to you.
God is wooing you and he's drawing you to the fullness of his promise for you.
Some of you have chosen one bad guy after another and God's not mad at you.
I did it too, but he's trying to help you learn how to choose better,
to learn how to know that you're worth, I feel the Holy spirit. Yep.
To know that you are worth someone who is great,
who will love the fullness of who you are,
not just for what your body can give them,
y'all, our bodies change. It's real.
And guess what? If, if it's all wrapped up in the physical,
what are we going to do when that's not able to function the same?
Or, you know, my husband had a surgery not long after we got married and guess
what? We couldn't have sex for a while because of that.
And so if it was all about the physical,
what are we going to do then? It has to be about more than that.
And so the Lord is,
he's trying to teach us tools and boundaries and security in Christ to know
who you are, to know your value and your worth.
There's this story about, you know, this guy years ago,
I was at a retreat and he was talking to this guy,
years ago I was at a retreat and he was talking about,
and I'm probably going to muck this up a little bit,
but he was talking about, you know, the cows and back in the day,
you know, it was a big deal for someone to come and buy cows.
They had to have a lot of money to do that. And, uh,
I remember sitting in this retreat and listening in this preacher was telling
this story. And again, I'm not going to, I'm not going to do it any justice,
but I just, the glimpse of what I remember is he was talking about how
the guy was saying, I'll give you weight.
Like he wanted to double and triple the price of what it was,
what he would have paid for the cows, for the daughter.
And that's how precious,
like she was worth so much more than all like the fullness of what they would
have paid back then and how he was willing,
like he wanted to pay above and beyond that because that's how valuable she was.
And you might hear that and think, well, you know, paying for a woman, what?
Well, they did that back then. Okay. So it wasn't weird back then,
but it's more about the point of what I'm trying to say is like,
God sees our value all the time and he can show an healthy man how to see that
value too. But if you don't see that value, if I don't see that value, well,
then we're going to keep choosing people that treat us with less than that
value. So it has to start with us.
It has to start with how we view ourselves, how we posture ourselves.
Are we going to settle for less?
Are we going to just wait for God to drop him on our shoulders?
doorstep. Y'all, I totally wanted God to bring him right to my door. I did. I didn't want to
have to do anything. That did not happen. I actually, God led me to go right back.
Yes, the 10 Cow Bride. I don't, yes, whoever personal, it says personal phone. I'm not sure
what your name is, but that is the story. Yes. So if y'all want to look it up, it's the 10 Cow Bride.
So if I messed it up really bad, forgive me. But, um, where was I going? I'm sorry. That
totally got me that, that I got all excited about that. I don't know. I'll remember later
if it's important, but I'm trying to just get to that you and I, hopefully we see our value.
And this is where surrendering the pen is going to be really, really important.
Oh, dropping a man at my door. Audrey, Audrey, thank you so much. Yes. No, God did not drop
the person at my door. Um, actually God led me to go back online, which is what I did not want
to do because I met the girl's dad that way. And so I swore that I would never date online ever
again, because dating online, it's just creepers and users and cheaters. That is what I believed.
Well, I got some healing and through Jackie continuing to nudge me, I went back online
and I'm not saying it's going to be like this for everyone, but I'm not joking when I say this,
I went back, I went online on September 4th on September 6th. God told me to change my demographics
because I was only willing to go two and a half hours. I was not moving. That was the other thing
I said, it was not moving. I told the Lord over and over. Oh, he's so funny.
He told me to change my demographics. And I did. And that same day, Brian reached out to me
and, uh, he asked me my non-negotiables and I was like, what? This guy's asking me the same thing
Jackie talks about. I mean, I'd never heard anybody ever say that before. And, uh, I had
gone on dates before this y'all couple, not a lot, but a couple, but by this time I'd already,
not a lot, but a couple, but by this time I'd already, I kind of gotten my practice a little
bit, figured out a little more what I was looking for. Um, but I told him, you know,
my number one is God, God, non-negotiable. And I said, if you want to know anymore after Jackie's
coaching, if you want to know the others, uh, we could get together and talk about it in person.
And he said, how about this Sunday? And so you all, he drove four and a half hours to have coffee
with me. He did. And, uh, we dated ever since. And I'm his wife. I've been his wife for several
years now. And, you know, it was definitely a supernatural story. Um, again, not everybody's
is going to happen that quick or like that. We did get married a year later, but I definitely know I
had to surrender to what God was saying. Not only just because Jackie was nudging me, I actually
knew in my heart. Cause at first, the first couple of times she was like, you need to do this. I'm
like, no, I don't think, I don't think I'm ready. And then when she finally came back around, I was
like, you know, I think you're right. I think it is time. And even in the changing my demographic,
Brian didn't live in my state. I had no intention of moving, but God led me to follow, follow him
first and foremost. And, you know, God has led me through every step of the way. And so when we
surrender the pen, man, God writes some great stories. Doesn't make it always easy, but it's
definitely worth it. So I want you to be thinking about areas where you're, you know, maybe you've
been partnering with, you know, like when we're toddlers, this thing that we develop inside of us,
you know, that partners with our flesh that says, I do it myself. I'm going to do it myself.
I don't need anybody's help. How many of you, even as single ladies have partnered with,
I don't need anybody to help me. I've got this. Anybody? Yeah. Hi, Christie. I see you,
Michelle, raising her hand. I think I saw a couple other hands going up.
We have to come out of alignment with that. And so that wasn't in my notes for tonight. So if
that's something that you tend to say to yourself, even when people try to hold the door for you,
even ladies or gentlemen, other people that you don't know, they're trying to help you. And you're
like, no, I got it. We got to stop that. Let's receive from people. If somebody wants to buy
you lunch after church, I would love that. Don't feel guilty. Receive it. Practice receiving,
because you know what, when you meet a man who walks in chivalry, guess what, ladies,
they want to take care.
of you. They want to hold the door for you. They want to open the car door. They
want to carry your food. At least this is my my experience with Brian. I had never
gone through this before. I remember the first time he just was so excited to
carry my shopping bags. I was like, I can carry them. He's like, I know but I want
to. I'm like giddy excited to carry my shopping bags. What does this have to do
with supernatural surrender? Well I had to surrender to my ability to do
everything myself. I grew up in a home where you know I really couldn't rely on
other people. I learned very young if it's gonna get done I'm gonna have to do
it. When my brother wouldn't do his chores my mom would get so mad about the
chores not being done that it didn't matter that he didn't do them. We all
got in trouble for it. So it started turning into I had to become responsible
for my brother who was four years older than me to make sure he did his chores.
That he got out of bed wasn't an easy task. I know this again is a small
example but I have a high responsibility within me like it's in a
strength finders. It's like one of my top things. Well that got overextended in
my childhood and I still have to really watch that as an adult because the enemy
loves to try to lead me to feel responsible for everybody else's stuff
including my own. So I have to even surrender that stuff to the Lord. Do you
see how this supernatural surrender works in all different aspects ladies? We
don't have to do it ourselves. God never intended for us to do it ourselves. He
intended for us to be in family and community, friendship, relationship. So get
good at thank you so much that would be lovely. Smiling, thank you. You know just
receiving and and letting yourself be loved on it's it's a wonderful thing. One
of the main reasons we don't want to depend on anyone else is because we
don't want to be disappointed. I want you to think back. I'm gonna go ahead and
activate you. I want you to think back and it's okay if you're not a hundred
percent sure if it's the first time ever but I just want to kind of get you guys
engaged with me a little bit. I want you to pause where you're at and ask the
Lord when was the first time I was disappointed and whatever pops up in
your mind it doesn't matter if it's the exact first time ever put that in the
chat for me. When was the first time Lord that I was disappointed and someone
and something whatever that is for you go ahead and put that in the chat for us
and as you're doing that I'm gonna keep kind of chatting but be thinking about
that and if it doesn't come to you right away that's okay just start putting it
in there when you when it comes to you. I want you to remember that control is an
illusion ladies and out of control can be a good and even healthy place to be.
If we want to be real we're never really in control of anything except ourselves
our beliefs and our response. The more hurt we are the more we try to control
our environment. Keep everybody right where we want them so they cannot hurt
us but when we do that we cannot live abundantly right? We have to make a
decision. Are we ready to surrender? Are we ready to wave the white flag and say
God I cannot do it. I've tried. I'm sorry that I've tried to do it on my own. I'm
sorry that I've tried to think I can do better than you. God I I'm yielding to
you. I give up and I choose to surrender it all. Is that where you're at tonight?
Because some of you are like yes yes I'm all there and then tomorrow something's
gonna happen and you're gonna be like God why is this happening? You know
you're gonna be upset with him because it's not happening fast enough or
whatever and it might not be tomorrow. I'm kind of a you know exaggerating but
it might be a week from now. Yeah so some of these are coming in the chat. I'm
gonna go ahead and I'm gonna try to grab as many of them as I can. So our downy
when you put three to four years old make sure you ask the Lord. You might
know what it is but ask the Lord what the situation was and I'm activating you
all in this for a purpose. We're gonna I'm gonna talk about it here in just a
minute. Chrissy says I have a feeling it was in kindergarten, had something to do
with my dad, elementary, seven years old, at ballet class. Everyone else got to go
to their parents but I had to keep on dancing. I felt that I was a
disappointment because I could not finish.
was five. That's huge. That is probably connected is some
significant things we've been coaching you on Megan. Okay, so
I think that's a really important one. Seventh grade.
Jamie says when my mom got a ticket and didn't have enough
cash to take us to the movie and get burgers as we planned. We
never got to do that kind of thing. So we were so excited. I
saw so much pain on her and was so disappointed. So that Jamie
think about that too. So that's two layers of disappointment.
Not only did you feel but you saw her feeling that
disappointment so that there might be some kind of
generational not even just in that moment, but generational
layers of disappointment when you saw mom disappointed, that
God's just highlighting that to me. So I would encourage you to
lean into that a little bit. Grace says when I was a little
girl, and my dad would tell me that he would take me on
adventures in the car with him, but he wouldn't show up. Grace,
I'm so sorry that that happened. My dad used to say he was going
to come to my plays in high school and he didn't show up
either. And man that hurt me so much. So I resonate with what
you shared in there. And if anyone else had that kind of
stuff happen. I knew that God's heart is sorry. He's sad that
that broke his heart when your heart was breaking. And he loves
you so much. Kristen says when my cousin and my cousin and
sister and I all received the same present at Christmas from
my grandma. But my cousin had gum and candy and hers and my
sister and I did not. I was so looking forward to the treat
since my cousin opened her present first. These things that
seem like they're small deals, ladies. These end up being big
things when they haven't been healed and dealt with. Sally
said my father died when I was young, and so much, so much
heartbreak and sadness. Ladies, make sure you lean into these.
Remember what you wrote down tonight. Spend some time this
week with the Lord. Jennifer says when I was 25, when I
directly asked for something, I think that's what you mean,
Jennifer, Sandra, as a toddler, I wanted to help mom in the
kitchen and she wouldn't let me. My dad's wife, telling me they
had a gift for me to travel to Europe all expenses paid, but
because I had used remaining scholarship money to you hustle
Europe that that they wouldn't be gifting this trip to me. That
was not my dad's character. The trip was supposed to be my
graduation gift from university. Eloise says first
time I was disappointed as a child always felt unseen and
unheard and not celebrated, which is something that you
often struggle with still in in in the groups and things that
you've been in. But we know that people have changed then and
actually said, How can we celebrate you? Praise the Lord.
That's some breakthrough. Eloise is experiencing that we've been
praying for. Nikki said when one of my team members rejected me,
she didn't want to be paired with me. Trisha first big
disappointment was my first day of college many years ago, I had
to buy all my books and carry them all to my dorm, which was a
few blocks away by myself, I felt very alone and decided I
need to do everything on my own. Hannah, not the first memory,
but not getting to go to high school with my friends since it
was a different district, Jenna, so many things I can't even
pinpoint. Peggy, my older brother sexually abused me when
I was a preschooler and told me I was never to tell anyone and I
didn't. He gave me money to stay silent. So I had to lie
about how I got the money. Michelle, I'm going to do my
best to read all these and then we're going to move forward from
here. I do not recall the context. But I remember clearly
as a three to four year old or so but I kept repeating in my
mind. But Daddy, Daddy, I'm just a little girl. I'm just a little
girl. And when I think back to this, I just want to cry. Chrissy
says junior high in high school couldn't lean on parents
emotionally moving a lot in junior high, especially parents
were missionaries and a lot of moves. Dad had to be gone a lot
in those years, felt like I had to just deal and handle things,
social things, emotional things myself. Jessica says seventh
grade, the whole class ganged up on me in the playground and it
was it was not my fault. I was accused of taking someone's
headphones. The teacher placed me in front of the class to
explain bullying is not acceptable. I cried so much in
front of all of them. My mom put violent men in front of me.
Stepfather compared me with a different girl and praise her
over me. I have a twin brother and growing up I always tried my
best to earn love and get attention because my brother
would get the attention. So I felt like I was never enough and
tried to earn my parents love. Ex husband insecurity looked down
devalued and degraded and spoke negative about me. And then Jody
says disappointed my parents never understood or comforted
me. I had you all do that and I read them out loud because I
want you to know that these are valid things that God wants to
place the balm of Gilead upon every one of these wounds
tonight. I did not have any of
planned. So I just want you to know like this is something God led me to do as I
was reading that in the book. He's going after the truth that you're seeing
tonight that keeps coming up in my spirit. So as you continue to surrender
these things, I saw Roseanne put one in here the first time I remember being
disappointed when I was in the third grade when my baby sister was born. She
did not come get to come home with my mom because, sorry that just bumped
around, because she was a premature baby. Scary, right? As kids we don't understand
this stuff. Tammy being abused by a trusted adult that formed my thoughts
about what men are very young still struggle with it. Lisa says important
note that I left out the Europe trip was something I did not know about that they
were planning to give me. Gotcha. My dad's wife told me after the fact.
Constant disappointment. Can't remember the first time. Christmas, my birthdays,
graduations and on and on. When I was in the third grade I made a card for my
teacher. The other students thought I that I had told her about the party my
classroom was planning. I didn't even know about it. After school they all
ganged up on me and started to hit me. Thank God my mom intervened and my
teacher dealt with the students. If you guys feel led to put more in you can. I'm
probably not going to keep pausing but I did want to just honor those additional
couple people. And so the other thing I was going to say why I felt led to do
that is that not only to have you all put them in the chat to help you process
that and start to think about those things but hearing what each other have
been through it also can help bring things to surface in you. And because
we're in the heart work and I believe God wants to accelerate even that heart
healing process for you sometimes hearing again the stories of other
people who are like oh my gosh I went through something like that too or I
remember this now because you heard something from someone else. And so as
you are facing these disappointments rising to the surface tonight absolutely
want to encourage you all to utilize that forgiveness prayer sheet. You can
find that no matter what week you're on under the welcome tab in the heart
recourse. You're going to go ahead and forgive those people that hurt you.
Forgive those people that disappointed you. And I want you to be specific. I
want you to write out what what you put in the chat here tonight and forgive
those people and allow God to come in and heal these areas in your heart and
your life. I want to show you some practical ways we tend to say I'm just
going to do it myself God I've got this. These are how these show up in our daily
lives. I'm going to give you a couple tonight relationship areas controlling
conversations or outcomes during conflict rather than seeking God's
wisdom first. Making major relationship decisions without prayer or godly
counsel. Trying to earn love through performance instead of resting in God's
unconditional love. In the financial and career area it can show up like this
making financial decisions based solely on our own understanding again without
seeking God's direction. Hoarding resources out of fear instead of
trusting God as our provider. Parenting and family trying to control our
children's every choice instead of training them and trusting God with
their hearts. Training them to trust God with their hearts that sounded funny
when I said it. Fixing every problem for our kids rather than allowing them to
learn and grow through challenges. I know that we all love our kids but in
our world in our society so many people have become helicopter parents right? Our
kids have not been developing in the same way being able to make decisions. So
many young kids are struggling to make decisions at all. Personal growth
white-knuckling through bad habits instead of inviting God into the
transformation process. Do you have any bad habits ladies? Are you trying to face
these alone? I'm not saying it's always going to be an easy solution but I even
recently some of the challenges I'm going through with the weight gain is
hormonal. Some of it I don't even know. I feel like it's some of it's the enemy
just warring against me as I'm trying like I'm going to chiropractors, I'm
taking supplements, I'm walking, I'm doing I'm eating healthy, I'm doing all
the things and I'm like feels like it's all attracting to me what is happening
and I'm making light of it a little bit but it's a real struggle and I've had
this posted up I don't have it right now because I'm in a different room tonight
but that when I feel overwhelmed that I will turn to God before I turn to food
for comfort and that's what I wrote out on a post-it note and so I would see
that every day like hanging up it's
It's like right on my ring light.
Um, and so when I would sit at my desk, that ring light just sits right there in
front.
And so maybe yours is not that maybe it's something else, but where you are just
going to choose to not white knuckle it anymore, but to ask God to supernaturally
surrender that process to him and ask him to help you because we have to be
intentional about these things, trying to heal our own emotional wounds without
letting God into the painful places, comparing our journey to others, trying
to fast track our growth, some of the other white knuckling, you know, through
bad habits.
Remember, we're not looking for short, short term behavior change ladies.
Okay.
We're not, we don't want you to come in here and be like, you got to get all
cleaned up.
No, like, of course I would love, I want you all to break free.
I want to see you grow.
I want to see you heal, but I don't want it to be fake.
You don't need to perform for me or anybody else in here.
Okay.
The best thing you can do is be real with yourself and be real with each
other and the process with the Lord, even being real with the Lord and, and
asking him a lot of really good questions.
When something comes up in your spirit, please don't think things are too
small and be like, well, that's weird.
That's how we tend to treat ourselves.
If we haven't learned how to treat ourselves while growing up, if a thought
bubbles up in your spirit, I want you to like, pause like, oh, well, I haven't
thought of that in a long time.
Lord, are you trying to show me something through that?
If you start seeing the same scripture over and over, there might be something
God's trying to say to you through that scripture.
Those are the kinds of things you want to lean into and you want to ask the
Lord to search you and know you.
Right.
Creating you a clean heart, creating me a clean heart.
Oh God, renew a steadfast spirit in me that he would cleanse us from all
unrighteousness and that he would heal us in the depths of our souls.
John 14, 25 through 27 says this, all this I've spoken while still with you,
but the advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the father will send in my name.
This is Jesus talking, will teach you all things and will remind you of
everything I've said to you.
Peace I leave with you.
My peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
I want to remind you all in this process, it's called supernatural surrender.
It's not called, get your shovels out and it's time to dig.
Okay.
What do I mean by that?
I mean, literally, I don't want you to go digging for answers.
I don't want you calling out all of your aunts and all your moms and, you
know, all the things trying to piece it all together for yourself.
If God does lead you to have a conversation, that's fine.
But what I have found in myself, I did this years ago as well.
It doesn't end up well.
You all, I started asking all kinds of questions, talking to my aunt, talking
to my sister, trying to figure out where all the cracks were because I
wanted it all healed at one time.
I'm not kidding.
I was a little detective.
I love detective shows.
You all, my husband and I, it's so funny watching the show.
We were watching this little, uh, shoot.
I forget even a little teeny bopper investigator show.
Literally he, he was making fun of me at first.
You're watching another teeny bopper show.
And, and before long, he sucked into it with me.
I'm like, uh-huh.
You like it too.
But I'm bringing that up because we are teasing each other because he got
something right last night about the investigative show and I got
something right tonight, but I'm saying that because I, I even remember
like, that's how I felt.
I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to figure this out.
I'm going to piece it all together.
I'm going to finally break the code in our family.
And, uh, it didn't go well.
I ended up having a lot of pain because the things that I unsurfaced, I was not
ready for, it was way bigger than I even knew.
And so I want to encourage you, please don't do that.
Okay.
You're going to pray and you're going to ask the Lord to reveal things for
healing.
And you're going to trust that what he reveals at the right time is what you
need to know at that time.
And you know, there might come a day when he will reveal more to you and maybe he
won't y'all there's huge chunks of my life that I don't remember.
And you know what?
I'm kind of good with that now.
If there's anything God wants me to remember, he'll show me.
And it is kind of sad because I think, oh, well, I literally don't remember like
anything from when I was little from this age to this age, literally.
I have pictures to prove things, but I don't remember that. I don't remember those things.
But God is protecting me and I know that. Okay, back then I didn't understand that. So,
don't dig. You want to pull the thread. Okay, so when I was talking earlier,
this is the little thing I've kind of coined is pull the thread. When a memory comes up
that you don't push it down, you just kind of lightly like pull the thread. Okay,
Lord, what is this about? Is there anything you want to show me connected to this? And that's
what I mean by pulling thread. If you've ever pulled a thread in your shirt, it starts to
unravel other things at times, right? Okay, so that's what I mean by that. If you haven't already
done so throughout, you know, all of this process, maybe you just started yesterday,
maybe you're three or four weeks in, that every day that you would, this is going to be part of
our activations for this week, you would get that permission slip out. That's also under the welcome
tab, the welcome area inside the Heart Work Core. Sorry, I said the welcome tab. That you print that
permission slip out, you'll literally fill it out, genuinely put it up somewhere where you see it
every day you will, and pray it out loud over yourself every day. Because it's an every day
surrendering the pen. It's an everyday partnering with God, okay? All right, I'm going to put you
on breakout session. The question tonight is, what are some things God is nudging you to surrender
tonight? And you're just going to open up and talk to your sisters. I'm going to probably pair you
two to a room. If you can't go into breakouts, please put that in the chat. And then I'll move
people around. So if you get into your room and the other person doesn't show up, just wait for a
few minutes. I'll try to move all of you as quickly as I can, all right? Totally fine, Lizzie.
All right, I have some people already jumping off. All right, I'm losing some people here.
Sorry y'all, I gotta keep adjusting this as people are jumping off.
Some people can't do breakouts, and some people are afraid to do breakouts. Please don't leave
if you're afraid. Let's press into it. Okay, let's do it afraid.
All right, we're going to do six minutes. Go ahead and click to join those rooms as quick as you can.
And it's totally fine if you can't do the breakout. You guys can stay here in the main room
while I'm praying. All right, I gotta wait to see if these people get in there. Okay, here we go.
As soon as I get everyone situated, I will start to pray for us.
Who is that? That's nine.
All right, Father, thank you so much for everything that you're already doing tonight.
Thank you for even just showing me to pause and focus on the area of disappointment.
God, I'm asking you to heal every area where there's been disappointment, even shame or guilt
over different things, maybe even seeing things other kids had and that they couldn't have.
I know that was some of the things in the chat. Lord, I thank you for
revealing these things for healing. God, I'm asking you to give all the ladies that are
talking right now about what they need to surrender tonight and in the days to come.
And even those that are here in the main room, those that are going to watch the replay,
that you would just help them to experience the fullness of your presence, the fullness of your
joy, God, that you would help them to remember that. I just keep hearing that song, this is
amazing, Grace. So that's for somebody tonight. I don't like to sing. I used to love to sing in the
choir, but I don't like to sing by myself. But that goes on to say, this is unfailing love.
I don't remember that you would take my place right up on the cross. It says something like that.
I love that song, but that literally just came up in my spirit. So praise the Lord,
that's for someone. The reminder tonight is that, you know, he took our place. He already
bore the debt on the cross. He literally bought our freedom when he died for us. And he made a
way for us to walk into healing, into redemption, into freedom. And so basically what we have to do
on the earth is we have to walk it out to catch the physical realm up with the spiritual realm.
It's already done. It's already done. Our healing is already done. The blessing of the promise of
God's spirit made for you and who is best for you. He can help you walk that out.
And we don't have to over-spiritualize it or make it too supernatural.
we just day by day by day.
That's how I walked mine out every day.
I was like, God, what can I do today?
I mean, literal things that he would lead me to even pray.
I remember the first time he said,
say over yourself, I am a bride.
And so in my house, in my apartment,
that's what I had at the time.
I'd walk around and I would say, I am a bride.
I, Bethany Stanko, I'm a bride.
God, I thank you that I'm a bride.
And I just started speaking over my spirit
because that's what God told me to do.
Maybe that's not what God will lead you to do,
but this is where asking God and being in the word,
there were things I would be reading scripture
and he would say something to me.
He'd say, profess this over yourself.
And I would write it out and I'd hang it up
and I would start declaring that thing over myself.
I remember one time Jackie talked about,
coming out of agreement with independence
and coming into agreement with dependence on God.
Wrote that on a sticky note
because that spoke to me a lot too.
Because I'm misindependent.
I can do it myself.
I prided myself on that.
But you know what, really underneath of that pride,
and I wasn't trying to be prideful,
but underneath that pride was really pain and sadness
because people weren't there for me.
Not everybody, but the people that, you know,
that I would consider my mom and my dad,
the people that I really needed to be there.
And it wasn't that my mom completely abandoned me,
but she neglected me a lot.
But she was pretty broken too.
And I have a lot of love for her.
My mom passed away in 2022.
And I'm thankful for all the good things
that she did for me too.
So let's be thankful for whatever God is showing us tonight.
Even in that, maybe it's supernaturally surrendering,
anger, sadness, upset towards parents or guardians
or brothers and sisters who let us down.
So Father, I just pray over that right now.
Father, I thank you that you would help us
to surrender these things.
I'm hearing too, the people that have harmed us,
abusers, people that have walked out on us.
God, I thank you that you would heal
the depths of our heart and souls in these areas, God,
where there have been these chasms
and the crevices of our soul.
They're harboring resentment and bitterness, God.
I just ask you Holy Spirit to release right now
in the name of Jesus Christ, a spirit of forgiveness,
a spirit of healing, a spirit of reconciliation.
Yes, Lord, I declare a reckoning in the spirit realm.
God, that you would loose angels
to come in war on our behalf.
God, that you would send warring angels
for everybody that's a part of the heart work,
this community, God, that you would just literally continue
to help us to have nighttime dreams, daydreams, God,
that we would have divine connection
and revelation with you.
God, I thank you that you would help us to definitely,
yes, Lord, literally have a divine channel,
like pick up the phone and Lord, I can hear you,
where there's been things that have been hindering
our ability to hear you, God.
Maybe some people think they can't even hear you,
God, at all.
I pray that you would surprise them with fun things
that all of a sudden they would just start to recognize,
like even in scripture, like, oh, God,
you're speaking to me through that right now.
Or something that they read in a book
or something that someone says to them
or a sermon that they hear, God,
that they would start to know that you love them,
that you speak, you're always speaking, God,
and you're excited for them to have a two-way conversation.
So Lord, we just thank you for that blessing.
We thank you, God, for the ability
to supernaturally surrender in every area of our lives,
that everything that has been broken in the past,
God, is gonna be restored.
I thank you, God, for reminding us of all the good things
that have happened in the past,
the good things that are still yet to come,
that we would, yeah, Lord, receive a fresh word from heaven
and declare, God, your goodness and your mercy
and the full measure of your grace
over our lives and other people.
In Jesus' name.
I'm looking for something real quick, ladies,
because I wanna bring something up and show you.
And I thought I had it somewhere else
and I could not find it.
So give me one second.
Here we go.
Gotta share my screen with you.
All right, I'm gonna talk real quick
about the Jesus Cares Board.
Everybody's boards are different.
So yours does not have to look like this,
but this is an example of one of our ladies.
She felt led to do Post-it Notes that were heart-shaped.
You can do whatever you want.
She felt led to do a lot of things.
beltlet to put scriptures. You don't have to do that if you don't want. This is, again,
She felt led to do a lot of things that were heart-shaped.
tonight I'm just showing you some different aspects, ladies, of what you can do because
She felt led to do a lot of things that were heart-shaped.
I want you to see how simple it is, okay? This lady just used a board that she put in
her kitchen and had her Post-Its on there. I do want to encourage you all, while family
is good, okay, there's nothing wrong with that. She didn't do anything wrong, okay?
You guys are never going to get in trouble, okay? So those of you that got in trouble
for assignments in school and you're afraid to turn anything in, it's not going to be
like that here, okay? I might encourage you to stretch a little bit more. In this case,
that's why I want to point this out. Now, she might have had kids in her home, too,
so that might be why she didn't list these things out. I don't know. But I'm just using
this as an example. I want to encourage you all to get specific. Like, if you have needs
in your family, like, what are they specifically? Like, what area do you need Jesus to work
in your family right now? What area in your health or your finances, okay?
All right, here's another one. Again, I'm going to kind of go through these kind of
quick. I just want to plant some seeds for you. This one is, this one excites, they all
excite me, but this one, I remember when I first saw it, she put herself on Jesus Cares
Board. I loved this. I was like, I never thought of that. I think this is great. She just wanted
to remember every day that when she looked at her Jesus Cares Board that she could trust
Jesus with herself. Even though all those things have to do with her, that she actually
could trust him with herself. The reason I wanted to show you this one, again, another
example, different words and things she put on here, but at the bottom, she put these
two little heart boxes. Can you all see that? Let me make that a little bigger. One for
childhood and one for adult. She had kids in her home, and she did not want her kids
to see these private areas, so she made these little boxes and put the note things inside
the box. I was like, that is so creative. She knew what those represented, and I thought
that was great. This lady just used a door in her house. Great, this is perfect. They're
all amazing ladies. Here's another one, the last one I was going to show you. Again, some
people are scrapbookers, so they have some of that kind of stuff. They really feel led
to make it a little more creative. There's no right or wrong. Everybody's is going to
be amazing and great. The point is to do it. Let's not wait for it to be perfect. Again,
you're going to learn more about it as you go. The goal, one of your first activations
for this week is to A, do the permission slip that I already talked about. Number two is
to do your Jesus Cares Board. Some of you that are in here, if you've already done your
Jesus Cares Board, I want to encourage you to pray and ask the Lord if there's anything
new you need to put on there. Is there anything on there that God already answered? Now you
can put it under your Answered Prayers area. I started taking my Answered Prayers off and
putting them on a different sheet of paper that I have hanging up in my office. I love
to just go stand and look at that paper sometimes. Yes, God did that. God answered that. It encourages
me. That's something I started doing. I hope if you choose to do that, it encourages you
too. I'll put these in the group for you all. I call them morning and evening surrender
moments. In the morning, before getting out of bed, place your hand on your heart and
ask, Holy Spirit, what am I trying to control today that belongs to you? Then speak it out.
I surrender my need to control whatever it is today. Before you go to bed, put your hand
on your heart. Ask the Lord, what did I pick back up today that I had given to you? Then
resurrender it. Jesus, I place whatever it is back into your hands before I go to sleep
tonight. I think I even need to do this. It's been a while since I did this, but even reading
it out loud, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with things on my mind. Anybody
else relate to that? This might be one of those ways we can really work on releasing
these things off of us before we go to bed. They also say if you just write a couple things
that are on your mind before you go to bed. I saw a lot of people shaking their heads
about waking up in the middle of the night, but if we write those things down, that might
be helpful. Some of it too, for the ladies that are probably around my age, it's our
bodies. Unfortunately, there's not much we can do about that right now. I would love
for you, whoever is willing, to share with the whole group what you shared in your private
breakout session about what is God nudging you to surrender to Him tonight. Joy's going
to go first. Is there anyone else? Joy's going to go, but if you want to also go after Joy,
you can raise your hand. We have until 9.30 tonight, ladies.
Okay, Joy, what are you gonna surrender tonight?
I want to surrender my will and the time,
plans, balance, emotion.
I told that to, yeah, sister in the breakout room.
I want to surrender, but the thing,
I decide to surrender, but then I think sometimes
my will really, maybe because the past wounds and trauma,
so I have like a whole, sometimes I desire something.
With them, I would desire to spend time with Laurie
and to spend the time to know him and see his face
and declutter my room.
I just want to use the time,
and, but I did not search for job,
because right now I don't have the work permit right now.
So I have to really to wait to seek for a job,
but I do need money to pay rent,
and so I have to really to help myself.
I need God's help to help me to surrender my will,
my time, my schedule, my emotion, my finance, my plan.
I just need help.
Sometimes I don't want to say I have a strong will
or strong desire, but I just need help.
I want to surrender.
I want to align God's perfect will and plan.
I want it, but then there's a war between,
battle between two, and sometimes I need to know,
is this your desire or is my own fresh desire
or my own hard desire?
So clarity needed, yeah.
It's really good, Joy.
One of the things as you were talking,
I was just thinking about years ago,
as a parent, I was reading,
I don't even remember what it's exactly called,
but it was about like when you have strong-willed children,
how to not break that in them, you know,
because that's actually a gift that God puts in us.
And so we want to surrender,
and we want to be willing to be made willing
to do what the Lord is leading us to do, right,
and follow through.
But when you said,
I don't know if I'm strong-willed or what,
I just heard persistence.
And we talk a lot, like Jackie has shared,
if we have a gift and it gets overextended, right,
it can lead us in the opposite direction.
And so I think maybe with some of the things
you've had to go through,
that you've developed this persistence within yourself,
you know, this self-reliance.
When you all were in the breakout sessions,
one of the things that came up,
you know, different things bubble up in my spirit.
Sometimes I pray, sometimes I talk,
but it was something that Jackie said,
and I put it on a Post-it note years ago,
and she said to pray,
to come out of alignment with independence,
and to come into alignment with dependence on God.
And so one of the ways I think that you or anyone else
that is struggling with this self-will, if you will,
a lot of wills in there,
is to pray to become more dependent on God,
and to walk out the things that he is leading us to do.
And so I wanna encourage you to also pray
that if that persistence in you that is a good quality,
because it's that fighter in you that keeps going,
no matter what you've been through,
if that's gotten overextended at all,
that God would bring that back into balance,
and really help you in the days ahead.
And yeah, I love that.
Let us all, when I say this, I'm like,
ooh, do I wanna say it?
Because it means I'm declaring it over myself too.
Let us all surrender our calendars.
What's that look like?
Even sometimes, ladies, I've been,
this is one of the ways I've even,
it might not sound like surrender, but it really is.
I've been putting blocks of time
for rest and recovery on my calendar.
I've literally been scheduling it in there,
because I'm working with Last Year Single,
I'm helping run a church with my husband,
I'm trying to write a book,
I have all these things that we're trying to do right now,
and it's all great stuff,
but I gotta make sure that I have enough of me left, right?
I wanna rest.
And so some of you might need to surrender
some things on your calendar
that are taking up the calendar right now,
and say no to some people.
Do you know how many people want,
and I don't mean this privately,
so many people want my time, but like,
Like genuinely, I have to like, even when it's urgent for them, sometimes I have to say,
Hey, I love you, but I can't do this right now.
You know, and I'm learning how to do that at the church, even like a lot of expectations on a pastor's wife.
But praise the Lord, I'm learning how to lovingly be like, that's a great idea.
I don't think I'm going to do that right now.
You know, so again, I don't know who I'm giving these things to, but this isn't just about pastor's wives.
This is about having boundaries, right?
So as we have boundaries and we heal, we can come into this balance.
We come out of the overextension and whatever those gifts are.
We create space on our calendars for us to connect with God.
I've been doing these little diamond paintings and I just feel so peaceful when I'm doing them.
I don't have to think, I don't have to have an answer for anybody.
I just think I take the little thing and I put it on there.
I don't know if y'all have ever seen those.
It's very tedious.
And at first I was like, I don't know if I'm going to like this, but there's something about this calmness that I'm feeling in myself that I'm really liking.
And so find some things like that for yourself.
I know like, how does that connect to strong will?
If you know me, I love to take time.
I'm a puzzle girl.
Y'all, I love to do things to just kind of shift down, but to do things where I'm not constantly having my brain going or working and doing things is a whole other story.
So this diamond painting stuff, I'm not having to think.
I'm not having to overwork my mental or emotional state.
Does that make sense?
And even in that, I am surrendering.
So for some of you boss babes, you've just worked forever or your parents, you know, maybe you just, some of you don't feel good enough ever.
Those are the kind, maybe for you, it's not going to be diamond painting, but yeah, I see someone saying coloring books, you know, find the stuff that's going to bring, bring your stress level down.
All right.
Okay.
Chrissy.
Oh, before, before that, I didn't quickly mention one thing.
Yesterday I spoke to a sister from Virginia.
And she said she has, she has a mentioned big house.
He said you can just, just no longer move out the current space where I live and move to her place, Virginia.
And so, but, and she has a, she partnered with somebody have a restaurant.
And she said, maybe you can walk a restaurant to help me.
But then I have, it's kind of tempting for me to try.
But I mean, then I know in the church, I was, I was worship kind of leader, you know, kind.
So I'm people, several people told me, he said, I said, I must be able to worship.
So I know that at one time, several years ago, I left that church and something happened to that church, you know.
Okay.
But remember, that's God's church.
Okay.
God is in charge of the atmosphere there, sweetie.
Okay.
So you don't have to take responsibility for that.
If God is calling you and leading you to a place of provision, which is what you've been praying for.
I want to encourage you, you know, read your word, really, you know, step into the answer.
If that's the provision and the answer that you've been praying for, you don't need to keep looking back at this other thing again.
If something happens just because we're not in a place, well, then that church, I'm going to say this lovingly, hasn't raised up enough other people to do the ministry of Christ in that place.
Okay.
So that can get into a whole savior complex.
If we're not careful, it's really important to not get caught up in that kind of stuff.
So Joy, thank you so much for sharing.
We can chat more about that.
If you post in the group, we can chat more about that there.
Okay.
All right.
Awesome.
Thank you.
Chrissy, go ahead.
Okay.
So I, I really, I mean, you called me, you were, you said my name while you were talking about it, but being hyper independent.
I mean, that's for sure.
I have, and I shared this with Cindy.
I have worked on that a lot over the years.
And, and, and I'm like, I'm trying to be more like Jesus.
And like, like little things like that, accepting somebody's, you know,
lunch offer or somebody to open the door,
help me with my groceries or something.
they've been kind of bringing that back up again.
But.
And I just had a conversation with my mom,
I'm pretty sure it was yesterday,
might've been day four, I don't know,
days run by together,
specifically about that and like picking back up
that hyper responsibility,
but because it looks different
than it did the first time around,
I didn't pick up on that.
Yeah, and make sure you're just being
really gracious towards yourself,
not that you're not, but just for you or anyone else,
when something trips us up again,
sometimes we can have a tendency to be like,
why didn't I catch that sooner?
You know, kind of be like hard on ourself a little bit.
And so what I wanna encourage you in
is that you're learning the different things
that the tactics of the enemy,
and not that you're gonna focus on him,
but it's gonna be really helpful
because before long,
he's not gonna be able to trip you up with it, okay?
So you're learning some important things along the way.
This week, I wanna encourage you
to do some things opposite, okay?
So if you were feeling, tell me again,
the last thing that where you were stepping back
into doing some things,
what were some things you were doing
to be hyper responsible?
What were things you were picking up for other people?
I was, I think mainly with this women's ministry
that I had stepped into,
like I stepped into at first
because I just kind of secluded myself
and I had to step out
and they were doing a Bible study on Daniel,
so it picked me up.
But then I started picking up everything
and I became a board member
and I have to go to meetings
and then I have to go to this meeting
and we're doing a 5K
and every time I go in there,
somehow end up facing the leader
and I can feel her looking to me
to give her the next mark,
like to lead her in something.
And I will constantly sit in the room,
whatever we're doing with my head down
so she doesn't look at me.
So I don't catch eyes with her
because I don't want to do any of that.
Like I don't want to have that,
but then I started doing,
I was doing like three studies at once
and I was going to a different church
and then this other church
and I just, I was like,
God said I was hiding,
so I kind of like,
I was like, oh, okay, well, if I'm hiding,
I gotta go do this, this and this everywhere.
Well, okay, so let's talk this through a little bit more.
So God did lead you out of hiding,
but here's the tricky thing.
And I understand why, okay?
I can walk into a room and start talking
and even when we first moved here to Florida,
I said to them for months,
I have a full-time job,
I'm not gonna work for the church right now.
You know, I literally,
and I didn't for a while,
but before long they were kept kind of,
when are you gonna do?
When are you gonna do that?
Because I would talk about ideas and stuff
and they were just getting excited,
but I'm saying all that to say
is that it's up to us to set the boundaries,
no matter if these people come calling or not, if you will.
And so something that I really want you to work on
is don't avoid eye contact,
even when it feels awkward
and you know she wants something from you
or the enemy does,
because remember this is how the enemy is working
to get you out of balance.
And so I want you to kind of stand firm
and feel that tension and don't run away from it, okay?
Because what needs to happen is
if that woman then asks you to do something
and you already know that you shouldn't,
then it's about practicing using your voice
to set a healthy boundary.
And I think that's gonna be a really important factor
for you, because even though you're a strong leader,
I'm just getting the sense that it's almost like,
well, if they ask me, then I have to do it.
Or if I see a need, then I have to,
somebody's got to fill that need, you know?
And we don't always have to do that.
And sometimes when we don't,
someone else will eventually rise up.
And so practice maintaining eye contact even again,
even when if it feels awkward,
if she asks you to do something,
if you're already maxed out, get really good at,
thank you so much for asking,
but the Lord is not leading me to do that right now.
And here's the thing,
some of those people are gonna push back,
ladies, not just talking to Chrissy,
some of y'all might go through this too.
They might push back and be like,
well, I believe the Lord is telling me that you should.
No joke, I've been in that situation before.
I see some people laughing, so maybe you relate as well.
And I love it.
And this was my mentor years ago,
literally, and I still to this day,
like genuinely she changed my life.
I'm so.
grateful for her. Her name is Carol. But in this situation, it wasn't her finest moment.
And when she said that to me, and I said, well, that's great and all, but God isn't
telling me that. And I stood up for myself. I wouldn't have done that in the past. But
God wasn't telling me that. Yes, being voluntold, that is exactly right. And y'all, I was, I
was not someone, I helped in all, I mean, I helped to redo bathrooms at that church.
I had already been helping in the nursery, and I did not feel called to that. And I love
kids, you all. I love kids. But I felt like I was out of place in that season of my life
being in the Sunday school room every Sunday night, or the nursery, excuse me, every Sunday
night. But I had to, the point of that was I had to learn how to stand up for myself.
It was a game changer. Okay. Because I needed to be in a different place. God actually had
something else he wanted me to do. And it was okay that she didn't see that. I saw it.
And I knew where God was leading me. So Chrissy, practice that. All right. And let us know
how that goes. Because again, sometimes it's going to feel awkward and it's okay to come
and tell us like, Hey, I tried to practice this. And, and then she started saying all
this stuff. And then I still felt cornered. And I felt like I had to say, yes, it like
come and tell on yourself if that happens, because that's how we're going to be able
to coach you through it of like, okay, this is some verbiage or, or whatever that you
might be able to do in the meantime. But also let's ask God to reveal when is the first
time you were supposed to say no to someone and you didn't, you know, where we get to
the root of where those boundaries kind of got blown past and get some healing in those
areas. Does that make sense? Yeah. Now we had a meeting just yesterday and I, my dad
asked me when I got home, he's like, did you stand, did you stand up for yourself? I said,
I said yes. I think I did well, I did catch myself a couple of times, like really staring
into my, so do you feel afraid to let people down, Chrissy? Uh, yeah. Okay. So that's people
pleasing at work at, at its finest. Okay. People pleasing comes out of all different
kinds of things, but it, a lot of times really thrives in a root of rejection. And so if,
if even though it, a lot of times it's subconscious ladies in us, we can fear that someone will
reject us if we say no to them. And so we will back away from having boundaries and things.
And so, um, way to go on practicing, keep doing it and keep us posted on how that goes.
And let's see if, you know, what might be tied to maybe a roots of rejection and that
other stuff I mentioned to you. Okay. That, um, we're quick question, the activation earlier
before this breakout room. Can we post that in the chat as well on the app? Oh yeah. You guys
can post anything that, that I activate you guys in anything that you put in this chat. You can
absolutely put that in the group and we can coach you more on that as well. Okay. Thank you. Yeah.
You're welcome. Great question. Megan, go ahead. Hi. Hi. Um, for me, one of the things that I was
really thinking about was with surrender was, um, I think fear with trusting God, I've been
very much noticing I've been in kind of like a state of paralysis when it comes to, um, trying
to move forward. Like whenever I try to apply for jobs or look at things and like even trying to
figure out where I'm supposed to be going, like I feel a release to move forward. And it was like
kind of a word for the year was to keep moving forward. But it's like every time I try to do
something about it, I keep getting feeling really stuck. And, um, it's like this trust part has been
really hard. Like I just, I see God do it for other people that I really don't see for myself.
And so it's like, I'm really genuinely happy for other people. And I do know God does move and has
good things, but like my heart really can't accept that. Well, part of it too. I'm trying to
find right now. I was trying to remember what you said about the disappointment here. Mine was the
ballet class. Yeah. Yeah. I found you finally. Okay. So I, for some reason, I feel like those
might be linked up somewhere, you know, there's, there's this deep, um, like when you share, I can
sense this level of,
Almost disappointment in yourself. I don't know. Does that resonate for you?
Yeah.
Yeah. And so that kind of makes me think of analysis paralysis too.
Sometimes we're analyzing things so much that we don't do anything.
Sometimes it's religion.
You know, we've learned so much religion that we're afraid to get out of the boat at all,
because if we mess up, then that's it, right?
We think we have failed.
But I'm going to give to you what someone said to me years ago.
And, you know, we'll have to study the word out together to see if it's biblically sound.
But it really set me free years ago. So I hope it blesses you.
But she said, you know, do you think God's not big enough to catch you if you get out of the boat?
Like basically saying, like, if you step out of the boat, even if it's a mistake,
do you think God's not big enough to, like, catch you and recorrect that?
You know, and so I do think that that shows up with you, Megan.
I think that you're really afraid to make a mistake.
And so that's where you start to fall into that paralysis and overwhelm.
And then what happens is then you cycle into the little girl aspects of the disappointment,
you know, that we see showing up in what came up in your spirit tonight.
And so, you know, I'm looking forward to the day when you feel really proud of yourself.
And I think that that day can be now.
But it's the inner dialogue of shaming yourself and the things that are going through your mind.
Really getting a hold of your thoughts is going to be really critical for you.
And even that, I want you to know, ladies, this is really important.
Not every thought is our own.
You know, sometimes we go through seasons, too, where the enemy is just assaulting our mind
and assaulting our mind and assault because he's trying to wear us down.
And so if that's happening to you, I want to encourage you, like, get prayer.
Get around some people, you know, that can pray over you, anoint you,
and, like, help you continue to, like, have some accountability and love in the process.
And so the step forward for you, like, literally to partner is...
I really think that I would encourage you to actually, like, you're looking for a place to...
a new job and a place to live or just a new job?
Both.
Both, right. I didn't know if I heard you correctly.
All right. So, I mean, I want you...
What does it look like for you to dream about the job that you want?
What does it look like for you to dream a little bit about the place that you want to end up living?
You know, part of it, sometimes, ladies, is that we don't even allow a dream to form.
And then we're afraid it won't even actually happen.
And so then we don't even let ourselves dream.
So if we can't even dream about it...
Yeah, it's like this whole big cycle thing.
If we can't dream about it, then oftentimes we can't stop to do it.
And faith without works is dead. It takes both, right?
We have to have faith. That's where the dream...
Like, what do we believe? You know, what are we praying for?
What are we excited about? What would we love to have?
Those things might not always come, right?
But the dream board I made for my wedding, I ended up getting a dress almost exactly like...
And I didn't even remember that, like, it didn't even dawn on me that I picked a dress
that looked like all these pictures I had put in my dream board for my wedding
until, like, months after when I was going back through that board, just kind of reminiscing.
And so praying over your life, you know, really taking hold of your mind.
You know, when you have the permission slip that you would, you know, pray
and just, God, I just surrender my mind to you today.
You know, will you guard my mind and my heart through Christ Jesus?
I plead the blood of Jesus Christ over my mind that you would help me to walk in boldness and courage
to remember that I'm not a disappointment and that you're with me everywhere I go.
The Bible says that he's a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path.
And so he is showing us ways to go, but so often we're like, I can't.
And if that shows up in us, ladies, I'm not saying fear is legit, okay?
We're all going to feel afraid of things at some point or scared to do something.
But fear, deep fear and panic, that is a whole other ballgame.
That's probably connected to a spirit of fear that got a root in there at some point.
And if that's the case, then we need to ask God, when did that take root?
Because it's time for us to overcome that stuff.
about praying for your lost loved ones. I was talking about the different aspects of how
strongholds are formed and principalities and things like that impact people from believing
is very helpful. Just kind of understand the process and the breakdown of how the enemy uses
those things. And again, it doesn't focus too much on the enemy, but it's just kind of helping
me understand, oh yeah, there's layers to this. So we got to pray through layers for people,
you know, so same thing here. Yeah, you've got this. You can do this.
You're welcome. Yeah. Thank you for sharing. Audrey, go ahead.
And then right after Audrey, we're going to be done for tonight. Just so everyone knows,
Audrey, you don't have to rush through, but I just want kind of to set the expectation.
It is 9 31. So if anyone needs to log off, it's been so great to be with you tonight and we
bless you and we'll see you soon. Audrey, go ahead. Okay. Thank you. This one was quite hard
for me. I couldn't even write it on the chat, but the thing that came in my heart as part of first
disappointment I ever experienced was being molested by a trusted friend when I was seven.
And before then I was really carefree. I loved the people around me. I thought everybody loved
me. But when that happened, I could no longer trust people, especially those from the men
category. Like I was even afraid of my own brothers. At least for me, I had nothing to do
with it. So I just became very guarded. And I felt like I lost, it just went over my body. My body
was not mine. So growing up, I was really guarded. I just wanted to hide or disappear. Eventually,
I ended up becoming friends with somebody that I consider him to be my best friend. And I got
married to him because he was the only person I could trust after like 20 plus years. And we got
married and it ended up being the worst decision ever. It ended up being worse than whatever
happened the first time. So God had to come up with a rescue mission to get me out of that
marriage last year too. So I feel like the men I've trusted so far have broken that trust.
And I think God wants to hit that part. Yeah, I can relate to what you're saying. And I don't
know, Audrey, if you know this part of my story, but I was sexually abused by both of my brothers
and my sister actually. And so I really resonate on so many levels with what you're sharing.
And I do want you to know that you can find somebody good and you can attract good people.
Part of that is us healing on the inside so that the thieves aren't attracted to us. When we're
big givers, takers come our way. And we don't have to be afraid of that, ladies, but we have
to understand it, right? And not fall prey to that. And so what I would recommend for tonight,
when you were talking about before that, I was very carefree. Before that, you know,
or after that, excuse me, you became very guarded. And so, you know, what comes to mind is innocence
being restored to you. And I believe God wants to really help that. And I think that He wants to go,
I, you know, I try to be very careful in the way of leading people in this. But, you know,
Jesus wants to meet you right where you were at as a little girl, when you were seven. And He wants
to heal the core of that part of your life. And not only heal you, but, you know, what the Lord
showed me years ago is there's this convergence that He wants to have happen. There's the little
version of us that was broken and destroyed by these different dynamics and situations. And
there's this grown-up version of us, and He wants those to come back together. So we can be whole.
That's part of being completely whole, lacking no good thing, ladies, is for this convergence.
For our identity to be restored. You said I was, before that, I was carefree. I was bubbly.
I think that you are still those things, but they're hidden under the rubble right now.
And God wants to heal you. And, and I don't know what cartoon this was. I'm sorry. I'm laughing.
I just saw this visual. Sometimes God is so funny, you all. He's being so serious right now.
And there's this cartoon back in the day. Some of y'all might have to help me. Was he called Mighty
Dog? Where there would be this rubble, and he was that white dog. And he would, he was like a super
dog. And he would come up under. Am I imagining something or making something up? I feel like I
saw this when I was little. And that is what I saw. Underdog. Yes. Yes. Somebody knows what I've seen.
Audrey, I just saw that image for you, that literally Jesus has already, He's like, if you will, bear with me,
underdog in this situation, like all the rubble, all the mess from this dynamic when you were seven,
that feels like it's still over you, and even regarding this marriage, like literally, almost as if you are under there, okay?
I want it kind of like you and anyone else this is resonating with, like under the rubble, imagine Jesus, He's holding you,
and then all of a sudden, whether it's superman or underdog, you can pick which one you want, but like,
that Jesus is literally going to take you through all the rubble, and He's just going to carry you right out of there,
and everything that's been holding you back, and ladies, I know sometimes it can be like, well, I have forgiven,
I've processed that situation before, and I still feel stuck by this, but here's the thing, when we enter a new revelation or a new,
like we're here, you are not the same today as you were yesterday, and tomorrow, hopefully because you're healing more and more and more,
you're going to be different tomorrow than you are today, and so every single day, we literally can receive fresh revelation,
layers of healing, layers of forgiveness, forgiveness is not a one-time thing, for some situations, yeah, it's not that big of a deal,
I forgive that person, and I can walk on, but the ones where there's been a stronghold, well, think about that,
I was literally just talking about strongholds and how they have layers, so if a stronghold has layers,
why would we believe the lie of the enemy, that there's something wrong with us, or we messed up somehow,
that when we chose to forgive, and we're facing that situation again, that we did something wrong, we didn't get it right,
but that's not true, it's just that forgiveness happens in layers too, as we have, even though it's the same situation,
this is what I try to tell people, I want to encourage you, if you can imagine someone popping the hood of a car,
but they don't open the car hood all the way, but they just kind of peek up under the hood a little bit,
it's like when that situation comes back up, that you would just ask the Lord,
Lord, I know that I've forgiven them of this, I've processed this with you before, but you're bringing it up,
once I've come into the heart work again, is there new information that you want me to know?
And I believe part of that information and revelation, I really think it's centered around your innocence being restored,
I really do, and you might have heard that word before, but I feel like even in the understanding of how God wants to do that in your life,
I think that's the revelation that's going to be new for you, I think it's going to be different than how you thought,
but in a good way, you don't have to be afraid of it, and so as you have this situation, like I said, go ahead and pray through that,
ask the Lord, regarding the marriage, that might have re-triggered that old stuff somehow,
you might need to forgive yourself for some things, just process that out, and like I told the other ladies,
if you have more questions, you can come into the group, and we'll give you some feedback,
I know that some of you responded to me the other day, because I was preaching on Sunday, I was really slammed on Saturday,
so tomorrow I'll be in responding, and I was worn out yesterday, I did good, but I was worn out last night,
so Lisa, I know I owe you a couple of responses, I think there's a couple of other people,
so I will be back in there tomorrow, and responding to those responses, but Audrey, that was a great share,
thank you for having courage and trusting us with that part of your story,
praying for you to receive all that God has for you in this new innocence chapter.
Amen, thank you.
You're welcome.
God is so great at rewriting stories, ladies, He really, really is.
Alright, so remember, the disappointment areas, let's spend some time on those this week,
and see what God wants to heal in those too, alright?
Let me pray for us, Father, thank you so much for this night,
God, I thank you that you have brought us here for such a time as this.
Lord, if there's any rocks that need unturned, so to speak,
God, I pray that you would be the one to turn them over.
We're asking for divine revealings for healing to happen, and suddenlies to happen,
breakthroughs after breakthroughs after breakthroughs,
God, we thank you for your supernatural spirit and your presence here,
we know that we can't do anything apart from you, God, we ask you to help us.
Give us courage to trust you in this process.
Guard and protect and keep watch over us and our families tonight and in the days to come.
In Jesus name, amen.
God bless you all.
We'll be seeing you in the group and I'll talk to y'all soon.
Bye-bye, everyone.
Bye.
It was wonderful.
Good night, everyone.