WEBVTT

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Hold on, guys.

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It says it's recording, but I don't believe it.

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So hang on.

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Okay, it looks like it is.

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Just want to make sure.

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All right, you guys, so sorry about last week.

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We had a freak apocalyptic ice storm here in Austin, Texas.

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And for whatever reason, well, you know, I know what reason we live in the country.

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And so we have, you know, we really rely on our data.

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And I don't know if there was a cell phone tower down or what was going on, but we just

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did not have good service.

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And so we are going to condense three and four, week three and four into tonight, but

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I think we'll be fine because we, it's, it's a lot of, I feel like week three is similar

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content to week two, one and two, just with a little bit different flavor.

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And then week four is where, you know, we're going to be dreaming for the future.

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And so I think we should be able to be okay tonight.

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So let's pray.

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Father God, I thank you for this time together.

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I thank you for the hard work for couples, Lord.

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I thank you for couples that are willing to do their hard work, willing to even volunteer

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to be the inaugural group that goes through this course, Lord, to kind of just look at

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the material and to vet it out and to try it out, Lord, and be willing to really have

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these deep conversations with each other and lean into these relationships that you've

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blessed them with.

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Lord, I pray that as we talk tonight and we go back and forth that each and every couple,

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each and every person and every couple would hear what they need to hear in order to keep

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this momentum going in their marriage, not just let it end here.

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This is not just for a moment.

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This is for momentum.

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And so, Lord, we thank you for it in Jesus name.

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Amen.

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All right.

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This has been so fun to have be with you guys for this first go round.

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I was able to see some, just some mistakes in the, in the book that, you know, I wrote,

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I wrote it really fast.

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I put it together really fast.

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And so I saw some things that I thought were a little redundant.

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I also saw some things that were just straight up typos, just things that I was thinking

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about and that I halfway changed and that I didn't fully change, like some names to

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protect the innocent or guilty that didn't get, there was no continuity of those names

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going through.

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Like I changed it in one place and then it didn't change it in other places.

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So thankfully those people are not in this class and so they don't know the difference.

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And if you don't tell them, then no one will ever know, because I will change that before

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anyone else goes through here.

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So good times, good times.

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All right.

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So we are missing, we are missing one of our couples.

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We are missing Stacy and Clayton, and I don't know if they're coming or not, because I have

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not heard from them.

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Did anyone notice anything?

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In the chat, it did say that they weren't, oh, no, wait.

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Yeah, I saw in the chat, they...

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Yeah, it was Stacy.

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Yeah.

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She put a comment, said that they weren't coming.

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Oh, they can't come?

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Okay.

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Yeah, he was out of town for, I think, 12 days, so they haven't been able to go through

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the material together.

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So they weren't able to make it tonight.

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Okay.

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All right.

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All right.

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All right.

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Okay.

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Let's see.

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All right.

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Awesome.

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All right.

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Well, they'll catch the replay.

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Hopefully, they've been having a good time.

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Who has had at least one breakthrough, either in yourself or in your communication, in yourselves

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as a couple?

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Who's at least had one during this week three and four?

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Carla's like, did you?

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Did I?

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Yeah, I definitely did.

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Okay.

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Awesome.

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Awesome.

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Awesome.

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Awesome.

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Good.

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And I think just overall for us in general, I mean, we're not fully complete with the

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book quite yet.

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Um, I will, I will say we got through material.

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I mean, people don't like to read, but it's really easy read and it's,

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you know, really short and well, yeah.

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And we really enjoy like doing it together.

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They made it through chapter eight.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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So that was success after the bumpy ride that we had, Jeremy had,

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Jeremy had a good question and he was talking about the continuity of the

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idea of mind versus heart and the ladies that have gone through heartwork

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understand that when I mean mind, I really just mean heart because mind and

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heart are interchangeable in scripture.

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Like those words mean the same thing.

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And so as far as the Hebrew word and, uh, the heart, the heart part

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of us, or the soul part, that's also another word that's interchangeable.

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So mind will emotions, heart soul.

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That's all meaning the same part of us because we are spirits that live in

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bodies that possess this part that I'm talking about, the heart part, the

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mind, will, and emotions, the epicenter, the soul part, whatever you want to

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call it, this is the part that makes you who you are.

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Okay.

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Your spirit.

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Yes, that is, that's authentically who you are.

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But when you are born again, your spirit is renewed, right?

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Your soul is kind of the outlaw that continues to want to kind of go back

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and forth between the two, the two, um, revelations, whether, you know, the,

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the revelation that you are a son or daughter of God, and then of course,

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the orphan revelation of the, of the fallen nature, the curse.

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And so in all the information that's being kept in this epicenter.

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Of us, this, like this catalog of us, um, has been put there.

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It's been put there, not just by your experiences, but by the experiences

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of people that came before you.

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Things are handed down.

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A lot of people feel like they didn't get any inheritance from

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their family, except trauma.

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They inherited trauma and that's all they inherited.

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They inherited bad thinking.

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They inherited, you know, harmful mindsets.

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Um, I, I coach this, this one woman that I coached privately.

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She's not married yet.

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I'm part of the reason why she's not married.

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In fact, she's never been in a marriage before.

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But part of the reason that she's not married is because in her family,

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she grew up believing, and it wasn't said.

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It wasn't said overtly, but it was, it was communicated covertly, right?

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It wasn't taught.

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It was caught.

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And here's what it was caught that people outside of this house,

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this family are not safe.

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They're not safe.

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The only people that we can trust are each other.

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Everybody else is not safe.

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And so she spent her entire life just really being very distrustful

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and suspicious of people, not just men, everybody.

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So she hasn't had a lot of close friendships.

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She hasn't felt completely comfortable in community.

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She always has a guard up because that was, you know, that was drilled in.

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That was ingrained so much.

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Um, in her family.

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And once again, her family didn't just say, Oh, people are not safe.

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Don't trust them.

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Her family said things like, um, you know, what happens in our house is private.

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You shouldn't share, you know, personal things with people, you know, people

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don't need to know about your, your personal life or your home life or, and

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no, no abuse was happening in the home.

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It wasn't like, it wasn't them trying to hide their tracks, but just little

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things were said along the course of her life that just made her feel like the

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only people she could trust were her, her parents and her siblings.

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So these are the things that keep us from having intimacy.

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These are the little foxes that spoil the vine, right?

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Okay.

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All right.

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So we're going to go ahead and get into, we'll just start with the worksheets.

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We'll start with the activations for week three and four.

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Cause I know we have a lot of ground to cover and there's only three couples

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here tonight, but I want you guys to have ample time to share.

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And so if you want to take a look at that and refresh your memory, you can do that.

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Um, I'm pulling it up here to you.

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Yes.

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You asked, did we, did we have some type of breakthrough or some type of

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realization or something this past thing?

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Sure.

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Well, for me, I got it from your book.

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You know, I pray for Phyllis all the time, quietly to myself, but I

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started praying to her out loud.

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For her.

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Wow.

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That's every day, every day.

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And, and, uh, excuse me.

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Um, you know, at first she didn't really react.

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And then after a few times, I think the third or fourth day, then she prayed once

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or twice and then, you know, back to me and then, and then it was a day or two

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where she did, and then she started doing it continuously or consistently, I should

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say, uh,

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So I think for me that was something new because I never did that even in my previous marriage. I never did that before

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You know, I prayed for Phyllis and I prayed for us quietly to myself or on my alone time

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But never out loud to her and at first it was little a

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little edgy, I guess or

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Rolls off real smooth. Yeah. Yeah you guys this is so big. I

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Love this. This is that's a huge breakthrough. That's a huge breakthrough to pray together to pray out loud together

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I mean, yeah, it's great that you guys were praying for each other in your own prayer time

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But you know covering her and praying for her and letting her hear what you're praying for her

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That's really powerful and then Phyllis you reciprocating. Yeah

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I mean, of course anything new is a little uncomfortable at first but pretty soon it just becomes second nature, right? Yeah

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Wow, that's big. That's a big comes that way pretty quickly to when you

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Know, yeah, you're gonna see a big shift from that. You couldn't you kind of or for me?

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It was like well, why were we even fighting in the first place? Yeah

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After a few times I love that that's great you guys this is so great. What a big shift that's gonna bring

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It's already bringing it. I love that that makes it you guys that makes it all worth it. We can just go home

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It's great. Well, you guys are home. And so am I all right? Okay, so that was beautiful

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Yeah, let's let's just start with breakthroughs let's just start with some wins, okay who wants to share wins go ahead Jeremy

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So, um, I

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Thought something was actually kind of interesting because when we were talking about I

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Think it was in home to it

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Was it chapter 8 was it the one we're talking about chapter or no is whenever you got back from your deal

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So, um early on treat with church

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and

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My mind's gonna be in April

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Okay, and whenever she got back we were having discussion

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And

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it was really interesting because we were kind of talking about like

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Like, you know, how maybe like somebody says you may have like a

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gift of somebody in the Bible or an anointing or

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somebody yeah, like if I asked him I'm like has have you ever been prophesied as anybody ever said like you have

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like a Daniel anointing or a David anointing and that hat like he

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Because I was I was curious about it because I've had people speak

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So I was interested in what that looked like because moving ahead like part for just like the gifts of what God's put in us

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partnering with each other with our own gifts and

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Callings and so we talked a lot about that because he's had the David anointing prophesied in him

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And it was really interesting because what she did and I know this sounds goofy

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I was I was curious about it because I've had people speak

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It was really interesting because what she did I know this sounds goofy

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but she put it in like chat GPT about like

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Those two like anoint things being like within relationship and it was so cool

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I would broke it down and like talked about and it was it was

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Crazy how kind of accurate was but but was really beautiful about it was it showed this could be what the unhealthy is

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kind of like you would see in like Simba's or like the

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Enneagram, but then it also went into what the healthy looked like and in playing within those strengths and connecting

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And I just I don't know. I thought that was kind of cool and I didn't even realize it

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I thought that was really cool. But I think that

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like our overall, you know communication and

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and being able to

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Really stay on like kind of like an even keel

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playing field while we're having

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Communication and in not escalating has definitely been more

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Apparent and present within the past couple weeks

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That's awesome. Yeah, I think just being able to

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Understand each other's triggers and kind of understanding like where it comes from

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We have a little bit more understanding for each other

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Yeah, and I'm not taking it personal and just yeah, that's individually being able to work on ourselves, but working together

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I mean that huge. I mean I went on a retreat

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Completely disconnected. Um, it was it's funny because it was like this is hard work

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What am I like? Oh my goodness. This is exactly what I needed and I've been fasting

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Days and that was over and really being able to fully surrender. I mean it was really about

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we're not surrender, which is what we do here. So, um, being able to, you know, come home,

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work on more hard work together and really, you know, have that moment where I,

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I got to have that time with God where I'm like, I'm supernaturally surrendering this

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feeling I'm responsible for God's part and that control because that is been a

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really big stronghold in my life. And when it's really struggled, I think that's been a

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big struggle in our marriage. Um, and so that was, I think a real big breakthrough and, and

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it's helped us tremendously, I think. And well, one, one thing that God shared with me was

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just kind of through our conversation was that

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when we tried to control several things in our surroundings, instead of what God is placing

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in our path and, and, and obviously controlling what we're able to control, like he,

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we're basically saying, no, we don't want you to take ownership of that God. We want to take

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ownership of that. And we weren't created for that, which is how it can create so much distress

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or depression or anxiety or all these other things, because you're taking on something that

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you weren't meant to take on in the first place. God was meant to partner with you so that you

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don't have to experience that. If that makes sense. Yeah, no, it makes perfect sense. And you

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guys, I want you to pay attention to what's going on with Carla and Jeremy right now.

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They're actually getting breakthrough from week one. So supernatural surrender is what's really

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coming alive to them. And this is the beauty of heartwork or the beauty of inner healing

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is that it hits differently and it hits differently at different times.

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So, you know, you can go over the content, you know, you can do the coaching and you can be,

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you know, and, and nothing really happens at the time, but because we're giving God permission

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to, you know, to, to reveal and heal, that's going to, it's going to happen at some time.

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And so that's really, what's really making an impact on them right now. The other thing that

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I really saw in their share so far is that, you know, instead of focusing on the flaws

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of each other, they're focusing on the strengths and how fun is it to even use modern technology

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to find out that, you know, you're amazing. You know, that, that you're, that you're epic,

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that you can, that you can do amazing things. And so I did that. I did that prompt back in

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the day when AI, when everyone was really just using AI hard back when chat TPT first came out,

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I did that prompt about it's supposed to tell you like who you really are or whatever.

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I forget what the prompt is, but you give them, you give it the prompt and then it,

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it talks back to you. And I literally weeped when I read what it read, you know, God can use

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anything. And so God definitely uses technology even with there's an algorithm. But so I love

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that for you guys. That's really awesome. And and I'm really proud of you guys. That's really

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incredible. Let's take, let's take one, the last breakthrough share, any, anything you guys want

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to share any kind of aha moment, and then we'll get into more of what you guys have been unpacking

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as we go through this week three and four curriculum. Want to do that? So you guys are up.

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Hi, I think you're muted still. There we go. I'm muted. So my breakthrough,

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I don't know if it's for us, it's more for me, I think is coming to mind is that

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I'm starting to ask questions and voice what's really on my heart, even though it may create

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conflict. And I was always afraid of that. And so it not that it's getting easier, but I think I'm

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getting braver, no matter what that we could work through it. I think there's enough trust that has

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been built. There's enough intimacy that has been built that I feel like I could finally voice what

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I want to instead of just being quiet and being resentful or just pouting. So that's new for me.

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I love that. And that's, that's the week two, like, you know, what's the one thing that I need

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you to know, you know, how we speak up and talk about like, you know, what do I need my partner

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to know about me? What do I need to know about the, you know, need them to know about how I'm

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feeling. I hear a little dog growling. That's why we switched. He's over there. Okay. Gotcha. All

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right. It's either your stomach or dog, but I was hoping that you weren't that hungry. Okay. Go ahead.

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I was just going to say what she said.

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It was the dog, yes.

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Yeah.

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What about you?

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You have something to share?

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I think that's a powerful share.

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I mean, I'm just,

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it's not a new thing,

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but I guess learning how to be more patient.

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And I understand what you're saying about the heart,

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the mind, soul, everything connected.

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But for me,

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it's one thing to feel a certain way about something.

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My rule has always been,

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there is no wrong way to feel about something.

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You can feel however you want.

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It's what you do with that feeling

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or how you react or overreact or whatever,

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or underreact sometimes.

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So long before this,

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I had resolved that I would not be afraid

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to feel certain ways about stuff,

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that it's okay to be unhappy about something

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that should make you unhappy.

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It's okay to be angry about something

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that ought to make you angry,

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but it doesn't mean you have to react

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in any certain way to that.

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So I guess my word would be patience.

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None of this is easy,

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and much of this doesn't make sense,

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and a lot of it is very murky,

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but I cling to the fact

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that whatever is happening now

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is exceedingly temporary,

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that the long-term situation,

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the eternity that I face

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is gonna be outstanding and excellent.

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And so if any given day begins a certain way

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or ends a certain way

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or has a rough patch or whatever,

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that's fine because literally nobody promised me

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in this world an endless series of fantastic days

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or great results or whatever.

333
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It's gonna be all right,

334
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and you can get worked up about it or you don't.

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It's gonna be fine.

336
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So I'm just, I am practicing patience.

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I'm practicing the old phrase

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about change what you can and let go of what you can't.

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I'm learning to let go.

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There's only so many things that I can fix

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or change or alter,

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and much of it is gonna happen one way or another.

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So you can get caught up in that

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and get emotional about that

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or get frustrated with that, or you don't.

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So I'm just learning to be patient with stuff.

347
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Okay, all right, that sounds good.

348
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Yeah, we definitely want to take in information

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for the ability to respond and not react.

350
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We don't want to be reactive unless we need to be reactive.

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I know for myself, and while what you're saying

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is definitely a very mature type of stance,

353
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mentally, emotionally, possibly spiritually,

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there is an antithesis of it.

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There is a passivity sometimes

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that comes with that type of thinking

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that we wanna guard against.

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I see it more in men than I see it in women.

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And my husband used to be this way.

360
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My husband would posify everything.

361
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Well, you know, everything happens for a reason

362
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or it'll all work out in the end, or it's gonna be okay.

363
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Well, it wasn't gonna be okay

364
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unless he got off his ass and did something about it.

365
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And so, you know, because we're more fight and freeze,

366
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what I didn't know is that that was more a reaction.

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It wasn't him being a positive person.

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It wasn't him being mature spiritually.

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It was actually him being passive.

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And so we just wanna guard against that.

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I'm not saying that's what you're doing,

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but I am saying that, you know, sometimes women,

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especially, they want to see their partners react

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to things that need a reaction.

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Ladies, anyone else?

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You know, they wanna see them.

377
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They wanna know that they care about it.

378
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They wanna know that they're being diligent

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about doing something about it,

380
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you know, especially if it's something

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that's bothering them or something that,

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you know, we can sometimes feel like things

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are out of our control

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that really aren't out of our control.

385
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And so we definitely need to make sure

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we have a balance there.

387
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But being patient is good.

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Adversity is usually what causes patience,

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is what the Bible says.

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So we definitely don't wanna pray for more of that,

391
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but we do want to make sure

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that we're not responding to triggers inappropriately.

393
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You know, feelings, I don't know if you guys know this or not, but feelings actually are

394
00:25:03.520 --> 00:25:09.280
the byproduct of beliefs. Your feelings don't happen in a vacuum. They don't happen on their

395
00:25:09.280 --> 00:25:14.480
own feelings or emotions, which is what, you know, those are, those are, those are synonyms.

396
00:25:14.480 --> 00:25:19.680
Those are synonymous. They actually happen as a result of something that you're already believing.

397
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So if you guys go into the revealing for healing cycle, you'll see that the belief happens before

398
00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:31.600
the emotion. And then the emotion usually elicits a reaction. So what, what our brother is saying

399
00:25:31.600 --> 00:25:37.280
here is that between the emotion and the reaction, he's been able to put up a, a stop gap,

400
00:25:38.080 --> 00:25:46.880
which is good. He is able to kind of look at it, you know, maybe, maybe even disassociate from it

401
00:25:46.880 --> 00:25:51.840
and kind of look at it through a bigger lens so that he doesn't have the wrong reaction to it.

402
00:25:52.560 --> 00:25:57.360
Because a lot of people will just react without thinking, right? Cause they're triggered.

403
00:25:57.360 --> 00:26:03.360
Remember we, what do we trigger? We trigger guns, we trigger bombs, we detonate bombs.

404
00:26:03.920 --> 00:26:10.800
Usually triggers not a good word, is it? So, so when triggers happen, that's when a lot of times

405
00:26:10.800 --> 00:26:16.480
those, the emotions that are as a result of that trigger, that belief system is going to cause some

406
00:26:16.560 --> 00:26:22.160
sort of negative action on the other side. So what he's, what I've, what I'm hearing you say

407
00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:28.080
is that you've been able to, to make sure that you're looking at things objectively instead of

408
00:26:28.080 --> 00:26:34.720
more, you know, emotionally or irrationally, and you're able to, you know, disassociate to the

409
00:26:34.720 --> 00:26:40.480
place where you're not taking it personally. You're able to either give it to God or whatever

410
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:45.600
else needs to be done there. So, but remember friends, emotions don't happen in a vacuum.

411
00:26:46.240 --> 00:26:50.560
If you're feeling emotions about something, you can reverse engineer it. If you want to,

412
00:26:50.560 --> 00:26:57.520
you can go back and say, okay, I'm feeling this emotion right now about this situation, but why

413
00:26:57.520 --> 00:27:02.720
am I feeling this particular emotion? Let me go back to, you know, when's the first time I ever

414
00:27:02.720 --> 00:27:08.240
felt this emotion? When in the past have I felt like this? When is that, you know, and, and try

415
00:27:08.240 --> 00:27:13.280
to, and try to put yourself into the place where you have felt that tip, that, that type of emotion

416
00:27:13.280 --> 00:27:20.160
before, whether it's, you know, rage or anger, or it could be positive. It could be joy. It could

417
00:27:20.160 --> 00:27:26.720
be excitement. It could be nervous excitement because you're getting excited, but you're also

418
00:27:26.720 --> 00:27:31.360
worried that what you're getting excited about is really not going to happen the way that you think

419
00:27:31.360 --> 00:27:34.880
it's going to happen. Cause in the past, you know, you've gotten your hopes up. You've gotten excited

420
00:27:34.880 --> 00:27:39.040
about something and then it didn't happen the way you wanted it to. And then you got disappointed.

421
00:27:39.040 --> 00:27:44.480
So if it's disappointment kind of just backtrack to, okay, when's the last time I felt this way?

422
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:48.960
What were the circumstances? What was the belief system that I had? And you can even go all the

423
00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:53.600
way back to, when's the first time I ever felt this way? Because you guys are, our emotions,

424
00:27:54.240 --> 00:28:00.400
just as people, have you ever noticed that some people, um, the people in your life, like they

425
00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:05.120
show up the same way over and over again, they, they seem to have the same emotional responses

426
00:28:05.120 --> 00:28:11.440
to different things. Like I've always considered myself a very even tempered person. Like I pretty

427
00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:15.280
much, you know, I don't have, like, I'm not a moody person. Has anyone ever known anyone who's

428
00:28:15.280 --> 00:28:20.480
moody? Would you, would any of you call yourself moody? And when I say moody, I mean like in any

429
00:28:20.480 --> 00:28:26.080
given day, it can be like Ohio weather. It can start out as sunny and then it's raining and then

430
00:28:26.080 --> 00:28:30.400
it's cold. And then there's some frost and then the sun comes out again. Like, you know, there's

431
00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:37.680
just like a whole myriad of seasons in one day. Does anyone know anyone who just has a lot of

432
00:28:37.680 --> 00:28:42.400
moods and you never really know which mood you're going to get when you see that person?

433
00:28:43.040 --> 00:28:51.040
And Jackie, I have a question about what you just said. Are you, are you describing somebody that

434
00:28:52.320 --> 00:28:54.800
could potentially be bipolar? Is that what you're, like?

435
00:28:54.800 --> 00:29:01.040
I mean, you guys, you know, in the, in the current age that we live in, there's a lot of,

436
00:29:01.040 --> 00:29:07.440
there's a lot of, you know, um, there's a lot of information. Okay. And there's a lot of,

437
00:29:07.440 --> 00:29:11.280
and I'm not against therapy and I'm not against psychotherapy and I'm not against, uh,

438
00:29:13.120 --> 00:29:16.880
I'm not against diagnoses. I'm not against any of that, but I do think

439
00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:20.160
that a lot of times what we're describing is just a fragmented spirit.

440
00:29:21.120 --> 00:29:25.920
That's what we're describing. And, you know, and, and, and I feel like, you know,

441
00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:30.320
and I don't know if you know this or not, but I went to college to be a psychotherapist,

442
00:29:30.320 --> 00:29:34.880
a psychologist. And part of the reason why I didn't finish, I think I have about 40 credit

443
00:29:34.880 --> 00:29:41.120
hours left was because I saw that back then. Now to remember this is 20 years ago, back then

444
00:29:41.120 --> 00:29:46.560
their answer for everything was medicine. It's like, okay, let's just diagnose them.

445
00:29:46.560 --> 00:29:51.600
Back then it was the DSM for let's just diagnose them with our diagnostic, our diagnostic tools

446
00:29:51.600 --> 00:29:56.880
and then medicate them. But what I was seeing in my internships is that the medication wasn't

447
00:29:56.880 --> 00:29:59.840
actually helping them to, you know, be themselves.

448
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.320
elves again. It was just making them a whole different person.

449
00:30:03.320 --> 00:30:06.440
Yeah, I might've been tuning out some of the life controlling

450
00:30:06.440 --> 00:30:10.600
mental, um, uh, thinking issues or whatever they were OCD or

451
00:30:10.600 --> 00:30:14.880
whatever was going on, you know, but it, it wasn't, it wasn't

452
00:30:14.880 --> 00:30:17.360
making them who they were before they started manifesting those

453
00:30:17.360 --> 00:30:20.560
things. It was just making them a different person. Um, like it

454
00:30:20.560 --> 00:30:23.440
wasn't like, you know, remember the old ears on the, on the

455
00:30:23.440 --> 00:30:25.920
television, you could kind of tune in so you can see the

456
00:30:25.920 --> 00:30:29.440
broadcast. It wasn't tuning them in so we could see their

457
00:30:29.440 --> 00:30:33.200
broadcast again, it was just changing the channel. And so I

458
00:30:33.200 --> 00:30:35.480
wasn't down with that. I really didn't want to do that with my

459
00:30:35.480 --> 00:30:38.600
life. And so I got involved in some other things and said, and

460
00:30:38.600 --> 00:30:42.360
here I am. Right. Um, so I'm not against medication, especially

461
00:30:42.360 --> 00:30:44.720
for people who are dangerous to themselves and others,

462
00:30:44.760 --> 00:30:47.880
emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, if we've

463
00:30:47.880 --> 00:30:50.920
got to get them into a place of stabilization, but we got to do

464
00:30:50.920 --> 00:30:55.520
the deeper work because I believe all mental illness is

465
00:30:55.520 --> 00:30:58.440
caused by a spiritual fragmentation. There is some

466
00:30:58.440 --> 00:31:01.520
sort of fragmented spirit there, whether it's abuse and

467
00:31:01.520 --> 00:31:04.280
now they've splintered, you know, something that hasn't been

468
00:31:04.280 --> 00:31:07.200
dealt with something that may be not even known. And I know

469
00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:09.720
people are like, well, there's some chemical, uh, imbalances.

470
00:31:09.720 --> 00:31:12.040
Yeah. I believe the chemical imbalances are caused by that.

471
00:31:12.040 --> 00:31:14.840
Cause remember we're spirits that live in bodies that

472
00:31:14.840 --> 00:31:18.240
possess souls. The body is the lowest denominator. Meaning if

473
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:20.520
something is showing up in your blood work, if something is

474
00:31:20.520 --> 00:31:23.320
showing up in your body, biologically, it means it's

475
00:31:23.320 --> 00:31:27.080
already been existing in this other realm for a while. Okay.

476
00:31:27.080 --> 00:31:29.160
Now you're beginning to manifest it over here

477
00:31:29.160 --> 00:31:31.880
biologically, because the body is the slave. The Bible says the

478
00:31:31.880 --> 00:31:34.400
body is a slave. So it's just going to react to what is

479
00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:38.120
happening in the more spiritual realms of you, spirit and soul.

480
00:31:38.280 --> 00:31:41.360
Does that make sense to everyone? Okay. So yes, it could

481
00:31:41.360 --> 00:31:44.120
describe someone who's bipolar. They're all over the place, but

482
00:31:44.120 --> 00:31:46.800
there are some people who actually couldn't be diagnosed

483
00:31:46.800 --> 00:31:50.720
with a diagnostic tool because they they're not acute enough.

484
00:31:51.240 --> 00:31:54.960
They're just very, very emotional. And unlike, you

485
00:31:54.960 --> 00:31:58.920
know, um, unlike what he was saying, they, they haven't

486
00:31:58.920 --> 00:32:01.440
learned to control their emotions at all. They've maybe

487
00:32:01.440 --> 00:32:04.080
never been taught to control their emotions. So they're just

488
00:32:04.080 --> 00:32:09.640
on the ride. Instead of, you know, being able to put in

489
00:32:09.640 --> 00:32:13.520
self-control and patience and different things like that. And

490
00:32:13.520 --> 00:32:16.800
so emotional intelligence is what you mean. Yeah. Knowing

491
00:32:16.800 --> 00:32:19.880
themselves being self-aware, a lot of times self-awareness is a

492
00:32:19.880 --> 00:32:23.400
big tool. You know, what, what we just heard is a lot of

493
00:32:23.400 --> 00:32:28.160
self-awareness. This is a, this is a man who knows himself. He

494
00:32:28.160 --> 00:32:32.400
knows how to be self-controlled and tempered. That's important.

495
00:32:32.800 --> 00:32:38.760
Um, and so, um, but yeah, so we all know really moody people. We

496
00:32:38.760 --> 00:32:42.640
all know people who are acutely moody, like what Jeremy is

497
00:32:42.640 --> 00:32:45.640
saying. They may have actually have some sort of problem. They

498
00:32:45.640 --> 00:32:48.520
may have what we call mental illness, but just, let's just

499
00:32:48.520 --> 00:32:52.000
talk about people that are not to that level yet, but just,

500
00:32:52.280 --> 00:32:55.880
they have a little bit of, you know, they have, they have a

501
00:32:55.880 --> 00:33:00.160
couple moods. Like my husband, for instance, I call it, I call

502
00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:03.920
it curmudgeon being a curmudgeon. So David's a pretty

503
00:33:03.920 --> 00:33:07.960
easy going guy, unless he's a curmudgeon. Those are his pretty

504
00:33:07.960 --> 00:33:12.120
two, pretty mood, um, pretty distinct moods. So he's just

505
00:33:12.120 --> 00:33:15.320
like, yeah, he's David, he's David Dorman, you know, and

506
00:33:15.320 --> 00:33:18.440
stuff. And then sometimes for whatever reason, maybe it's men

507
00:33:18.440 --> 00:33:22.440
menopause men have menopause too. He just wakes up and he's

508
00:33:22.440 --> 00:33:27.760
just grouchy. He's cranky. And he's like having road rage and

509
00:33:27.760 --> 00:33:31.880
he's just mad at everybody. And he's listening to talk radio

510
00:33:31.880 --> 00:33:37.000
and he's like, der Democrats. And I'm like, stop, stop it.

511
00:33:39.560 --> 00:33:45.560
Stop being this person. I don't like it. So, um, Jeremy and

512
00:33:45.560 --> 00:33:48.160
Carl are laughing, so they must know what I'm talking about, but

513
00:33:48.160 --> 00:33:52.720
the bottom line is, is that, um, we all have different moods

514
00:33:52.720 --> 00:33:57.520
that we gravitate towards. You heard, you heard, um, she was

515
00:33:57.520 --> 00:34:00.800
talking about how she used to be kind of sullen and moody, kind

516
00:34:00.800 --> 00:34:04.880
of pouty. That's a mood. She's not doing that as much anymore.

517
00:34:05.120 --> 00:34:09.960
Millie's not doing that as much anymore, right? She's being

518
00:34:09.960 --> 00:34:14.199
self-aware instead of just letting, letting her emotions

519
00:34:14.199 --> 00:34:17.480
dictate and then her behavior following it. She's pouting.

520
00:34:17.480 --> 00:34:21.360
She's sullen. She's mad at whatever, mad at the world, or

521
00:34:21.360 --> 00:34:23.960
she's feeling sorry for herself, having a pity party. Now she's

522
00:34:23.960 --> 00:34:28.880
stopping and saying, Hey, wait a second. What, what's, what's

523
00:34:28.880 --> 00:34:33.400
really going on? Why am I sullen? Why am I pouty? I don't

524
00:34:33.400 --> 00:34:37.880
have to show up like this. I can use my words, tell other people

525
00:34:37.880 --> 00:34:42.199
what I need so that I don't have to sit around and feel sorry for

526
00:34:42.199 --> 00:34:48.679
myself because I'm not getting it. That's powerful. Right?

527
00:34:51.560 --> 00:34:56.679
She she's like, maybe, maybe it's powerful. Okay. All right.

528
00:34:57.640 --> 00:34:59.800
Um, does anyone I mean,

529
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.120
Really said what she, like what her go-to mood is.

530
00:35:03.120 --> 00:35:05.520
Does anyone else want to let us know what your,

531
00:35:05.520 --> 00:35:09.000
what your go-to, your two go-to moods are?

532
00:35:09.000 --> 00:35:11.480
Are you self-aware enough to know that?

533
00:35:17.520 --> 00:35:20.480
Yeah, I think when, when Jim and I,

534
00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:25.480
we get into a cycle of feeling, you know, of negativity,

535
00:35:26.000 --> 00:35:29.200
it's like, I'll just shut down.

536
00:35:31.200 --> 00:35:34.200
I don't want to talk.

537
00:35:34.200 --> 00:35:37.200
I don't want to be there, you know,

538
00:35:37.200 --> 00:35:42.200
and I think that frustrates him even more

539
00:35:43.200 --> 00:35:46.600
because he, he wants to solve the problem.

540
00:35:46.600 --> 00:35:48.520
Okay, so shut down is a mechanism.

541
00:35:48.520 --> 00:35:50.120
What would you call the mood?

542
00:35:50.120 --> 00:35:52.080
What's your mood, Phyllis?

543
00:35:52.080 --> 00:35:55.080
I'm a defensive, maybe,

544
00:35:58.080 --> 00:36:03.080
kind of feeling unheard or, or

545
00:36:07.080 --> 00:36:09.080
invisible, I guess.

546
00:36:10.080 --> 00:36:13.080
Jim, when she, when she does that, like what, what,

547
00:36:13.080 --> 00:36:15.480
when she does that, what would you describe her as?

548
00:36:15.480 --> 00:36:18.080
Would you describe her as, you know,

549
00:36:18.080 --> 00:36:20.080
you know, what's the word?

550
00:36:20.080 --> 00:36:21.080
Just like-

551
00:36:21.080 --> 00:36:22.080
Passive-aggressive, maybe.

552
00:36:22.080 --> 00:36:23.080
Like, I don't care.

553
00:36:23.080 --> 00:36:24.080
Yeah.

554
00:36:24.080 --> 00:36:25.080
Like, you know.

555
00:36:25.080 --> 00:36:28.080
That's, that's what I would tell her is that

556
00:36:28.080 --> 00:36:31.080
she doesn't have enough emotion to even care about

557
00:36:31.080 --> 00:36:34.080
what I'm trying to talk to her about.

558
00:36:34.080 --> 00:36:36.080
Like when you were talking, is somebody moody?

559
00:36:36.080 --> 00:36:38.080
Did they come home and you're not sure

560
00:36:38.080 --> 00:36:40.080
what mood they were coming, coming into?

561
00:36:40.080 --> 00:36:41.080
Uh-huh.

562
00:36:41.080 --> 00:36:42.080
And, and I asked her,

563
00:36:42.080 --> 00:36:44.080
I asked her, I asked her,

564
00:36:44.080 --> 00:36:45.080
Yeah.

565
00:36:45.080 --> 00:36:48.080
So what we had encountered was,

566
00:36:48.080 --> 00:36:51.080
there was no, what would it be?

567
00:36:51.080 --> 00:36:54.080
There was no, it's, it's a trust issue, right?

568
00:36:54.080 --> 00:36:56.080
So there was no affair.

569
00:36:56.080 --> 00:36:58.080
There was no, that I know of,

570
00:36:58.080 --> 00:37:00.080
like going out to lunch with a,

571
00:37:00.080 --> 00:37:03.080
with a male from work or something like that.

572
00:37:03.080 --> 00:37:06.080
But in my mind, she was, she was,

573
00:37:06.080 --> 00:37:08.080
she was, she was, she was,

574
00:37:08.080 --> 00:37:11.080
she was, she was, she was,

575
00:37:12.080 --> 00:37:15.080
But in my mind, stuff that I had crossed,

576
00:37:15.080 --> 00:37:17.080
and you know of our past,

577
00:37:17.080 --> 00:37:20.080
because you dealt with her with the artworks.

578
00:37:20.080 --> 00:37:23.080
And there was a gentleman that,

579
00:37:23.080 --> 00:37:30.080
that she was continued to have correspondence with,

580
00:37:30.080 --> 00:37:32.080
even up until our wedding.

581
00:37:32.080 --> 00:37:33.080
Right.

582
00:37:33.080 --> 00:37:36.080
And so to me, that's,

583
00:37:36.080 --> 00:37:39.080
I was angry a lot because that was happening.

584
00:37:39.080 --> 00:37:43.080
And I didn't find this out until after 15 months of being married.

585
00:37:43.080 --> 00:37:46.080
I didn't even know about this gentleman before.

586
00:37:46.080 --> 00:37:51.080
And things, things would carry on to something else.

587
00:37:51.080 --> 00:37:54.080
And it just seemed like we kept rolling on that.

588
00:37:54.080 --> 00:37:56.080
So when we would get in discussions,

589
00:37:56.080 --> 00:37:58.080
I was trying to get information from her.

590
00:37:58.080 --> 00:38:00.080
Like, why would this be going on?

591
00:38:00.080 --> 00:38:01.080
Right.

592
00:38:01.080 --> 00:38:05.080
You, you asked for somebody to put you first.

593
00:38:06.080 --> 00:38:09.080
You asked for somebody to, you know, honor you.

594
00:38:09.080 --> 00:38:11.080
And when I do that is like,

595
00:38:11.080 --> 00:38:14.080
I wasn't getting the response that I thought maybe that I thought I should

596
00:38:14.080 --> 00:38:15.080
have be getting from her.

597
00:38:15.080 --> 00:38:20.080
And so she would shut down and she would say that.

598
00:38:20.080 --> 00:38:23.080
I just blow whatever she says off,

599
00:38:23.080 --> 00:38:26.080
or I'm not really listening to what she's saying.

600
00:38:26.080 --> 00:38:27.080
When in fact,

601
00:38:27.080 --> 00:38:31.080
I'm trying to understand why would this happen in the first place?

602
00:38:31.080 --> 00:38:34.080
Okay. So in a situation like this, so what I hear Jim saying,

603
00:38:34.080 --> 00:38:38.080
and what I hear him saying is, is that first of all, you were angry,

604
00:38:38.080 --> 00:38:41.080
but you weren't really angry because anger is not an emotion.

605
00:38:41.080 --> 00:38:44.080
So it is an emotion, but it's a secondary emotion. So you were,

606
00:38:44.080 --> 00:38:48.080
you were afraid you were hurt. You know, you were somewhere in that,

607
00:38:48.080 --> 00:38:54.080
in that in that spectrum of hurt and fear. But so when you're saying,

608
00:38:54.080 --> 00:38:57.080
Hey, you know, what's going on with this and stuff, you know, the,

609
00:38:57.080 --> 00:38:58.080
the,

610
00:38:58.080 --> 00:39:01.080
the response that a lot of people would think is appropriate for a married

611
00:39:02.080 --> 00:39:05.080
couple, a newlywed couple that really love each other. You know,

612
00:39:05.080 --> 00:39:08.080
when someone's like, Hey, you know, I'm really confused about what you're,

613
00:39:08.080 --> 00:39:11.080
why you've been talking to this person or what's happening. I feel hurt.

614
00:39:11.080 --> 00:39:13.080
I feel afraid. I feel like, you know,

615
00:39:13.080 --> 00:39:16.080
I feel abandoned or rejected or whatever it would be like, Oh,

616
00:39:16.080 --> 00:39:19.080
I'm so sorry. I, you know, that's not really what's happening.

617
00:39:19.080 --> 00:39:20.080
I'm sorry that it looks that way,

618
00:39:20.080 --> 00:39:24.080
but it really wasn't like explaining themselves and trying to put us at

619
00:39:24.080 --> 00:39:27.080
peace and trying to show us that it's okay.

620
00:39:27.080 --> 00:39:30.080
But what I hear you saying is that Phyllis's reaction was just kind of like

621
00:39:30.080 --> 00:39:31.080
flat.

622
00:39:32.080 --> 00:39:33.080
Yeah. Yeah.

623
00:39:33.080 --> 00:39:34.080
Yeah.

624
00:39:36.080 --> 00:39:40.080
I didn't say those things. I didn't say that's not what I,

625
00:39:40.080 --> 00:39:44.080
but maybe not as passionately as you thought you should.

626
00:39:46.080 --> 00:39:50.080
She was asking what, what did I seem to think was your responses?

627
00:39:50.080 --> 00:39:53.080
What was your to everything?

628
00:39:53.080 --> 00:39:56.080
So I was trying to lead him up to what we were going through and why to me

629
00:39:56.080 --> 00:40:00.080
I would keep asking for, you know, an explanation.

630
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.240
If nothing else, why would you do this if you were asking for somebody put you first which I did

631
00:40:05.880 --> 00:40:09.800
Yeah, why would why would you still be going on with these other guys type thing?

632
00:40:09.800 --> 00:40:13.640
Well, we know Phyllis's history with her father when we know Phyllis's history guys

633
00:40:13.640 --> 00:40:15.640
This is really important when you're dealing with your spouse

634
00:40:15.840 --> 00:40:22.200
So there's something in psychology that we call a great the gray rock. Does everyone know about the gray rock?

635
00:40:23.320 --> 00:40:25.640
Okay, the gray rock is something that you do

636
00:40:26.480 --> 00:40:32.640
To protect yourself when you are in relationship with someone who is volatile and narcissistic

637
00:40:33.200 --> 00:40:41.120
So when someone is narcissistic and volatile, which is what Phyllis's father was like when that happens a lot of times

638
00:40:41.200 --> 00:40:46.240
You know when you're out walking and stuff. Do you notice gray rocks? You don't really notice them

639
00:40:46.240 --> 00:40:49.720
Do you like they're just there like they're not drawing any attention to themselves

640
00:40:49.840 --> 00:40:52.720
They're not anything to get all up in arms about you know

641
00:40:52.720 --> 00:40:56.680
You might see a colorful rock or you might see something like wow, that's gonna draw your attention

642
00:40:56.720 --> 00:41:02.520
But when people grow up in families like this some people become very combative they fight back

643
00:41:02.520 --> 00:41:09.060
They become you know real like attention like look at me even negative attention and then other people become gray rocks

644
00:41:09.480 --> 00:41:14.120
Like don't look at me. Don't pay attention to me. I don't want any conflicts. I don't want any trouble here

645
00:41:14.160 --> 00:41:18.000
Don't don't look them in the eye, you know kind of thing and that's what Phyllis has done

646
00:41:18.040 --> 00:41:24.640
And so what happens is is that people like this when they grow up they they almost it almost seems like they don't have

647
00:41:25.040 --> 00:41:31.280
Personality it almost seems like they're not passionate about anything. They don't really care very deeply about anything. They seem a little flat

648
00:41:31.800 --> 00:41:34.120
But they're not being flat. They're just

649
00:41:34.800 --> 00:41:36.920
They're just they've learned this is safe

650
00:41:37.320 --> 00:41:42.040
This is the safe space to be in and I see Phil is coming out of that more and more all the time

651
00:41:42.040 --> 00:41:43.600
I'm so excited for her

652
00:41:43.600 --> 00:41:51.000
Yeah, and and for me like I said, I was married for 30-something years 37 years a great marriage, right trust was never an issue

653
00:41:51.440 --> 00:41:55.680
right, yeah, so this is a new emotion for me and I even explained that to Phyllis like I

654
00:41:56.360 --> 00:42:00.720
Didn't think I ever had a jealous bone in my body before until some of this stuff started going, right?

655
00:42:01.160 --> 00:42:05.040
Yeah, I learned because we did some therapy, right? So I learned

656
00:42:05.880 --> 00:42:07.640
that

657
00:42:07.640 --> 00:42:10.800
Not everybody knows the rules and

658
00:42:11.320 --> 00:42:17.400
And I say boundary lines of a marriage right or of being steady with a partner

659
00:42:19.080 --> 00:42:25.920
Not everybody knows these rules not everybody maybe rules is the wrong word, you know boundaries I should say I guess

660
00:42:26.360 --> 00:42:31.720
Yeah, our therapist that we were seeing before mentioned that night. I actually had to take a step back and think wow

661
00:42:31.720 --> 00:42:36.640
I I just assumed you know that men know their roles, you know

662
00:42:37.080 --> 00:42:43.840
You don't go out lunch with opposite sex when you're married, right it whether it's unless it's a business type thing

663
00:42:44.200 --> 00:42:46.440
Right, and you don't associate

664
00:42:47.240 --> 00:42:53.360
outside of work with the opposite sex and and I just assumed she knew those rules or

665
00:42:53.720 --> 00:43:00.200
Guidelines or and I had to take a step back and really think wow. Okay. Well, I need to give her a lot more room

666
00:43:00.840 --> 00:43:04.200
Yeah, bro, and under you know, understand what I'm looking for

667
00:43:04.800 --> 00:43:09.320
Right before we get married to talk about you know, what our non-negotiables are

668
00:43:12.040 --> 00:43:17.520
And my marriage we you know, I do I do I do go places with men as far as like

669
00:43:17.520 --> 00:43:20.760
I have a lot of male clients. I talked to them. I talked to them on the phone

670
00:43:20.760 --> 00:43:24.960
I Marco Polo them at 10 o'clock at night. I go read them for coffee

671
00:43:24.960 --> 00:43:28.440
I mean everybody's different and all marriages are different

672
00:43:28.440 --> 00:43:32.360
So, you know, we have to have trust for whatever we've decided

673
00:43:32.880 --> 00:43:38.840
Between the two of us is going to be what our marriage looks like. Sure. Sure. And I'm sure there's you know

674
00:43:39.960 --> 00:43:46.440
David has his stuff that he does and you have yours and it's a it's a continuous thing or it's consistent

675
00:43:46.680 --> 00:43:48.960
When something happens that's out of the norm

676
00:43:50.080 --> 00:43:53.240
to me, that's that's where I guess I

677
00:43:54.160 --> 00:43:56.160
Didn't always keep my emotions in

678
00:43:56.520 --> 00:44:03.280
Intact or under control or but this that's several months back and we've we've written

679
00:44:03.280 --> 00:44:07.680
I'll read your books. So I think I've read more books now with Phyllis and I have in the last 30 years

680
00:44:13.320 --> 00:44:18.880
I think that was one things I pointed out is me learning how to communicate with a new lady, right?

681
00:44:18.880 --> 00:44:22.720
I mean you're with somebody for such a long time. You're almost finishing southern sentences

682
00:44:23.440 --> 00:44:26.080
Phyllis and I do that now Phyllis and I do that already

683
00:44:26.680 --> 00:44:28.680
Yeah

684
00:44:28.720 --> 00:44:35.400
Me Jeremy, you know Jeremy's a widower his wife passed away and he had to learn how to

685
00:44:36.040 --> 00:44:43.240
You know, you know just relate to another woman, you know, his marriage was you know different different than your first marriage

686
00:44:43.240 --> 00:44:45.240
Sounds like your first marriage was pretty good

687
00:44:45.440 --> 00:44:49.760
So he had to you know, he had to learn that not all women

688
00:44:50.480 --> 00:44:56.480
You both had to learn this for different reasons that not all women are like your first wives, right, you know

689
00:44:57.320 --> 00:45:00.040
obviously Phyllis is very different than your first wife as far as

690
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.880
how she relates and communicates and what she needs emotionally. And then Jeremy had to learn

691
00:45:04.880 --> 00:45:10.880
that, you know, not everyone is like his first wife as well in a different way. And so these

692
00:45:10.880 --> 00:45:16.480
are important things. I really would love to, I don't want to run out of time to go over week four,

693
00:45:16.480 --> 00:45:21.280
which is where we're dreaming together. And we're talking about why do we think God put us together?

694
00:45:22.320 --> 00:45:26.960
Why do we think that God put us together in the first place? And I'd love to hear you guys all

695
00:45:26.960 --> 00:45:34.400
share about that. Let's look at the worksheet real quick. Can we guys? Nobody else wanted us.

696
00:45:36.960 --> 00:45:45.200
What? No, that's not true. Stop. Okay. All right. Okay. So this is, this is about,

697
00:45:45.200 --> 00:45:53.120
so week four was all about creating a Y and a map. Okay.

698
00:45:57.600 --> 00:46:02.080
And so let's answer this question. What part of me comes alive when we serve,

699
00:46:02.080 --> 00:46:08.560
create or dream together? And this is about the, the step two is about discovering shared

700
00:46:08.560 --> 00:46:12.400
strengths. So you guys are supposed to do separately. You're supposed to answer the

701
00:46:12.400 --> 00:46:18.320
question. What part of me comes alive when we serve, create, or dream together? You guys hear

702
00:46:18.320 --> 00:46:22.400
me say this all the time in last year, single that marriages are for ministry. And I don't mean

703
00:46:22.400 --> 00:46:27.440
church ministry. I mean, the ministry of reconciliation in the earth, God puts us together.

704
00:46:27.440 --> 00:46:32.880
We're not just partners. We're a kingdom Alliance. We've been brought together to do something very

705
00:46:32.880 --> 00:46:38.000
important and special. It doesn't matter how old we are. It doesn't matter if we have no children

706
00:46:38.000 --> 00:46:42.880
to raise because we didn't have any children or the children are grown. We're not just here to

707
00:46:42.880 --> 00:46:48.080
take care of our grandchildren that we babysit every once in a while. There's bigger things

708
00:46:48.080 --> 00:46:53.600
that God has put us together to do. Right. I think that Jeremy and Carla are the only ones that still

709
00:46:53.600 --> 00:46:58.480
have kids in the home. Unless Millie, do you still have any kids at home? I can't remember. No. Okay.

710
00:46:59.200 --> 00:47:05.840
All right. So she's a senior in college. She shows up once in a while, but we're almost

711
00:47:06.640 --> 00:47:12.400
there. Got you. Yeah. So Chuck and Millie, they, so they have, you know, I mean,

712
00:47:13.520 --> 00:47:18.880
a lot of you have that, but obviously you're together for a bigger reason than that, because

713
00:47:18.880 --> 00:47:26.080
a lot of you that that ship has sailed a little bit. All right. So so let's complete, let's

714
00:47:26.080 --> 00:47:33.760
complete this fill in the blank. Our relationship is strongest when we are blank and the examples

715
00:47:33.760 --> 00:47:39.120
we're serving together, dreaming together, planning, hosting, encouraging others,

716
00:47:39.120 --> 00:47:44.960
building together, praying together. I know one couple, they both like to ride motorcycles. And

717
00:47:44.960 --> 00:47:49.120
so they felt like their, their marriage was strongest when they were riding together.

718
00:47:49.920 --> 00:47:54.080
You know, when they were riding together he was part of some sort of

719
00:47:56.160 --> 00:48:01.280
motorcycle ministry and they would serve in that ministry together. So serving together

720
00:48:01.280 --> 00:48:06.000
with a hobby that they both loved, that's when they felt strongest together.

721
00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:09.760
So let's fill in this blank. We'll start with whoever wants to go first. I would just go

722
00:48:09.760 --> 00:48:13.760
this way, but I don't want to put Chuck and Millie on, you know, laugh. They're not ready.

723
00:48:14.720 --> 00:48:22.640
This, this one I can do though. I don't, I don't have a clean or neat fill in the blank statement,

724
00:48:23.360 --> 00:48:34.480
but I'll try to be brief. Before Millie and I met, I had a very clear mission as just being me,

725
00:48:35.120 --> 00:48:44.880
which was paying off the mortgage on the property that I had, being useful presently,

726
00:48:44.880 --> 00:48:52.320
but also useful long-term, as in I have three children of my own. Obviously that's grown now

727
00:48:52.320 --> 00:48:57.440
that we are a married couple, but on my own I have three children, two stepdaughters, one son,

728
00:48:57.440 --> 00:49:04.880
and what can I, what can I do for them now, as well as other people, and what can I leave them?

729
00:49:06.000 --> 00:49:12.560
Whether that's leaving them, because I, I, especially now that Millie and I are married

730
00:49:12.560 --> 00:49:19.920
and I've seen her elder clients, I've seen a variety of ways that people are ending their

731
00:49:19.920 --> 00:49:26.320
race in this world, and one of my goals was how much, how little of a mess can I leave them, and

732
00:49:26.320 --> 00:49:31.280
what good can I leave them, and what good can I do for them now. That obviously has changed a bit,

733
00:49:31.280 --> 00:49:37.600
because now I'm in a completely different city, and Millie and I are married. So right now, really,

734
00:49:38.320 --> 00:49:44.640
I, I guess if I was picking one of those examples, it could be any of these, because really our life

735
00:49:44.640 --> 00:49:53.840
is centered around her elder care mission and business, and what can we do to keep that going,

736
00:49:53.840 --> 00:49:58.880
what can we do to make that even bigger and better, whether that's just

737
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.560
keeping the home going and all the boring stuff

738
00:50:03.560 --> 00:50:05.600
like paying mortgages and bills

739
00:50:05.600 --> 00:50:08.440
so that Millie can go out and do that

740
00:50:08.440 --> 00:50:11.680
or even me helping with that wherever I can.

741
00:50:13.600 --> 00:50:16.400
And it actually, some of that for me gets back

742
00:50:16.400 --> 00:50:21.400
to the week three thing because not in any coincidence,

743
00:50:22.760 --> 00:50:25.680
even though you mentioned it's more than a partnership,

744
00:50:25.680 --> 00:50:27.280
on the week three worksheet,

745
00:50:27.280 --> 00:50:29.600
partner is all in capital letters.

746
00:50:29.600 --> 00:50:30.840
And I appreciate that,

747
00:50:30.840 --> 00:50:33.160
because that's a very important word

748
00:50:33.160 --> 00:50:35.360
because certainly what,

749
00:50:37.920 --> 00:50:42.120
the together part that I need and want

750
00:50:42.120 --> 00:50:47.120
is the partnership, which I did not have before

751
00:50:47.280 --> 00:50:51.160
and trust, which I did not have before.

752
00:50:51.160 --> 00:50:53.160
So when we have those things

753
00:50:53.160 --> 00:50:55.720
and those are flowing smoothly,

754
00:50:55.720 --> 00:50:59.320
everything else just follows along and works well

755
00:50:59.840 --> 00:51:03.360
when we hit bumps in the road with those two things,

756
00:51:03.360 --> 00:51:06.600
then the rest of the stuff struggles a bit.

757
00:51:06.600 --> 00:51:07.960
But I would say that,

758
00:51:07.960 --> 00:51:10.800
I don't know which one of those phrases,

759
00:51:10.800 --> 00:51:15.800
but our life basically is focused on Millie's mission

760
00:51:17.920 --> 00:51:21.720
and her occupation and what can we do to keep that going.

761
00:51:21.720 --> 00:51:26.720
And when we are partnering and cooperating

762
00:51:27.160 --> 00:51:31.840
and working together towards that, things are cool.

763
00:51:32.840 --> 00:51:36.880
When either of us struggles with that, not so cool.

764
00:51:36.880 --> 00:51:37.800
So it just depends,

765
00:51:37.800 --> 00:51:40.240
because we're not perfect and we're human beings

766
00:51:40.240 --> 00:51:43.680
and we struggle with stuff like everybody does.

767
00:51:43.680 --> 00:51:44.560
Sure.

768
00:51:44.560 --> 00:51:47.480
So what I hear you saying is leaving an inheritance,

769
00:51:49.280 --> 00:51:53.800
leaving kind of a pathway, a roadmap,

770
00:51:53.840 --> 00:51:58.840
maybe even some tangible things to finishing well.

771
00:52:01.680 --> 00:52:05.720
And part of what finishing well looks like is,

772
00:52:05.720 --> 00:52:07.600
life well-lived, I should say,

773
00:52:07.600 --> 00:52:09.840
is leaving inheritance for your children's children

774
00:52:09.840 --> 00:52:10.800
is what the Bible says.

775
00:52:10.800 --> 00:52:14.520
And that's not just obviously money, that's also purpose.

776
00:52:14.520 --> 00:52:19.520
That's also a path forward because they have understanding

777
00:52:19.800 --> 00:52:21.960
and they have knowledge and wisdom.

778
00:52:21.960 --> 00:52:25.040
And so Millie, what would you, that's great.

779
00:52:25.040 --> 00:52:25.880
That's wonderful.

780
00:52:25.880 --> 00:52:26.720
It's beautiful, Chuck.

781
00:52:26.720 --> 00:52:27.800
What would you say, Millie?

782
00:52:27.800 --> 00:52:28.640
Yeah.

783
00:52:28.640 --> 00:52:30.640
And I'm sorry to give you no promise.

784
00:52:30.640 --> 00:52:32.400
I'll get out of the way in just a second.

785
00:52:32.400 --> 00:52:34.680
Cause yeah, it's not just money

786
00:52:34.680 --> 00:52:36.920
and it's not just earthly things.

787
00:52:36.920 --> 00:52:40.080
When we're gone, and I remember this,

788
00:52:40.080 --> 00:52:44.000
seeing parents pass away or other people pass away,

789
00:52:44.000 --> 00:52:47.600
the minute they're gone, well, they're gone.

790
00:52:47.600 --> 00:52:52.080
And all you have left are your memories and the stories.

791
00:52:52.080 --> 00:52:53.480
And you have no control.

792
00:52:53.480 --> 00:52:54.760
You have control over it now

793
00:52:54.760 --> 00:52:56.960
because you're gonna help decide what stories

794
00:52:56.960 --> 00:52:58.520
are they gonna tell about you?

795
00:52:58.520 --> 00:53:02.040
Are they gonna talk well about you and remember you well?

796
00:53:02.040 --> 00:53:03.240
Or are they gonna wish,

797
00:53:03.240 --> 00:53:05.200
are they gonna be thankful you're gone?

798
00:53:06.240 --> 00:53:11.040
And that's up to me to decide what stories people

799
00:53:11.040 --> 00:53:13.120
are gonna tell about me when I'm gone

800
00:53:13.120 --> 00:53:15.560
based on how I'm living now.

801
00:53:15.560 --> 00:53:17.040
But I'm sorry, go ahead.

802
00:53:18.040 --> 00:53:18.880
That's good.

803
00:53:18.880 --> 00:53:20.840
When I met Chuck just a few weeks

804
00:53:20.840 --> 00:53:22.560
into talking to him on the phone,

805
00:53:22.560 --> 00:53:25.720
he informed me, you know, my ex-wife divorced me.

806
00:53:25.720 --> 00:53:27.840
I didn't divorce her family.

807
00:53:27.840 --> 00:53:28.680
Right.

808
00:53:28.680 --> 00:53:30.520
Therefore, every weekend,

809
00:53:30.520 --> 00:53:32.520
we've committed to one weekend a month,

810
00:53:32.520 --> 00:53:36.400
we drive back to Lake City to see not only his son

811
00:53:36.400 --> 00:53:38.800
and his stepdaughter and now a baby,

812
00:53:38.800 --> 00:53:40.760
but also his ex-mother-in-law,

813
00:53:40.760 --> 00:53:42.920
which she has made it to both our weddings,

814
00:53:42.920 --> 00:53:45.120
our intimate wedding and our reception.

815
00:53:45.120 --> 00:53:47.360
The only one that's made it to both of them

816
00:53:48.000 --> 00:53:48.840
besides his son.

817
00:53:48.840 --> 00:53:49.680
She's-

818
00:53:49.680 --> 00:53:50.520
I love it.

819
00:53:50.520 --> 00:53:54.920
I could see why he still wants to be part of her life.

820
00:53:54.920 --> 00:53:57.840
Even though her daughter's moved on to Texas

821
00:53:57.840 --> 00:54:00.040
and she's not here,

822
00:54:00.040 --> 00:54:02.440
we are still very much part of her life.

823
00:54:02.440 --> 00:54:07.440
So him moving here so I could do my business was huge.

824
00:54:08.280 --> 00:54:09.320
It's really huge.

825
00:54:09.320 --> 00:54:10.160
Well,

826
00:54:10.160 --> 00:54:12.840
I remember when you guys were making that decision.

827
00:54:12.840 --> 00:54:14.040
Yeah, I could have gone there,

828
00:54:14.040 --> 00:54:16.440
but I would have had to give up everything I started

829
00:54:16.480 --> 00:54:18.960
that God led me to start here.

830
00:54:18.960 --> 00:54:20.400
And so he moved here.

831
00:54:20.400 --> 00:54:22.080
So now I'm looking at this,

832
00:54:22.080 --> 00:54:23.560
it is bigger than me.

833
00:54:23.560 --> 00:54:27.560
I'm coming to realize that it's not just caretaking.

834
00:54:27.560 --> 00:54:29.320
It's actually gonna grow

835
00:54:29.320 --> 00:54:32.040
and there's actually gonna be people taking care of people

836
00:54:32.040 --> 00:54:33.560
and I'll oversee it.

837
00:54:33.560 --> 00:54:37.720
But I'm excited because he's about this close to agreeing

838
00:54:37.720 --> 00:54:40.360
to be an officer of the company.

839
00:54:42.160 --> 00:54:44.760
He did on Saturday in the middle of a storm,

840
00:54:44.800 --> 00:54:47.560
he dropped everything and went to help one of my clients

841
00:54:47.560 --> 00:54:50.360
because my daughter and I were having quality time

842
00:54:50.360 --> 00:54:52.240
and it wasn't something I could do anyway.

843
00:54:52.240 --> 00:54:56.240
It was physical outdoor labor in the rain and he did it.

844
00:54:56.240 --> 00:54:58.280
And to be clear,

845
00:54:58.280 --> 00:55:00.240
let's not make the mistake to think.

846
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:07.520
I was happy about it because I was sitting here safe from the weather, not wet, not cold.

847
00:55:07.520 --> 00:55:12.640
I wasn't making that mistake watching a live wrestling event on TV, which I don't get to do

848
00:55:12.640 --> 00:55:18.000
very often. And suddenly I'm carrying pool noodles. If you know what those are

849
00:55:20.640 --> 00:55:26.480
open to insulate somebody's pipes because nobody in their neighborhood was going to come help them.

850
00:55:26.480 --> 00:55:33.840
So part of me was very happy to help that person. I will freely admit most of them was not pleased

851
00:55:33.840 --> 00:55:38.800
with the decision I made, but what was I going to do? Tell that old person you're out of luck.

852
00:55:38.800 --> 00:55:43.840
That's not what you do. And it's like what we're talking about with my, I don't call her my ex

853
00:55:43.840 --> 00:55:49.760
mother-in-law. She's my mother-in-law and where I was living. I didn't divorce her. I didn't leave

854
00:55:49.760 --> 00:55:55.360
that family. We get along great. Every time we go there, there's a list of chores to do.

855
00:55:55.920 --> 00:56:00.800
I helped her decorate for Christmas. And then the next time we showed up, my son and I are putting

856
00:56:00.800 --> 00:56:06.320
the Christmas stuff away because she can't have my son do it alone. We have to do it together.

857
00:56:06.320 --> 00:56:12.720
I don't know why. And I don't care. It's just, she's almost 85. If she wants to do it that way,

858
00:56:14.000 --> 00:56:20.960
what do I care? You know, because if I, if I try to change it, if I try to alter the way

859
00:56:20.960 --> 00:56:25.520
she's looking at stuff, all I'm going to do is build regret and think, man, why didn't I just

860
00:56:25.520 --> 00:56:31.440
let her have her way? You know, why didn't I just, how hard was it to do it? You know,

861
00:56:31.440 --> 00:56:36.160
the way she wanted to do it. So yeah, it, she's still a family, but yes.

862
00:56:37.200 --> 00:56:40.720
I love it. It sounds like you guys to the thing, the fill in the blank would be

863
00:56:40.720 --> 00:56:44.400
when you're doing family together, when you're doing this shared mission together.

864
00:56:44.400 --> 00:56:49.600
I also, when I got divorced, I knew my former husband since we were 12 and I knew his parents

865
00:56:49.600 --> 00:56:55.840
and his sister since I was 12. And when we got divorced, I stayed in relation, his father had

866
00:56:55.840 --> 00:57:01.120
already passed away during our marriage, but his mom and her new husband, I stayed in relationship

867
00:57:01.120 --> 00:57:06.880
with them until she passed away. And she came to, you know, she came to our birthday party.

868
00:57:06.880 --> 00:57:12.000
She came to my new husband's birthday party. They love David. Not that she didn't love her son

869
00:57:12.000 --> 00:57:15.600
because she does, but you know, so I believe in all the things you're talking about. That's

870
00:57:15.600 --> 00:57:22.560
beautiful. That is a very unusual story. It's not the norm for sure. And I'm so glad that you

871
00:57:22.560 --> 00:57:28.160
guys have been able to, to do that with a blended family and the shared mission sounds exciting.

872
00:57:28.160 --> 00:57:32.880
And it sounds like something that is going to grow as you both, you know, it sounds like it's

873
00:57:32.880 --> 00:57:38.240
going to need both of you to, to completely opt in, in order for that to happen, whether it's

874
00:57:38.240 --> 00:57:45.520
just mental ideas and vision, or it's actual, you know, some, some boot leather involved and

875
00:57:45.520 --> 00:57:50.560
that's great. Okay. So, um, we'll just go down this way. Jeremy and Carla, what do you got?

876
00:57:52.800 --> 00:57:58.800
Want me to read it again? So, well, I've got to hear it from you. So, okay. We, we kind of have

877
00:57:59.760 --> 00:58:08.560
two different ones. If that's okay. That's fine. So, so I think our relationship is strongest when

878
00:58:08.560 --> 00:58:14.880
we explore together, like we get to go and do things as a couple, especially if we get to go

879
00:58:14.880 --> 00:58:23.200
on like trips, because I don't think we ever really had that before. And being able to experience that

880
00:58:23.200 --> 00:58:29.600
now, I feel like there's an immense amount of closeness and almost like a blossoming of, of

881
00:58:31.200 --> 00:58:36.560
just, just an overall reaction of how I see, you know, her respond whenever we're kind of

882
00:58:36.560 --> 00:58:44.160
like out and just being able to be together. It's, I don't know. Well, I think because we

883
00:58:44.160 --> 00:58:49.280
have kids and we have our kids pretty much 24 seven. So when we get that time away together,

884
00:58:49.280 --> 00:58:55.920
it's almost like we're newlyweds without, like, we get that a little bit because when you have

885
00:58:55.920 --> 00:59:02.080
kids and you're married and you don't, we don't split time. I mean, my son's dad is in Michigan.

886
00:59:02.880 --> 00:59:10.000
And, you know, you guys don't get a break. We don't, I mean, unless we have in-laws helping

887
00:59:10.000 --> 00:59:17.200
take the kids, but that could be part of it too. Well, and you know, with my late wife, I mean,

888
00:59:17.200 --> 00:59:24.080
she had a five-year-old, you know, there, so I mean, I became a dad immediately, you know?

889
00:59:24.080 --> 00:59:30.240
And so there was never like throughout this history and time, it's just, it was never really

890
00:59:30.240 --> 00:59:34.640
the ability to do that. And it's just, it's really, I love the fact with our relationship,

891
00:59:34.640 --> 00:59:39.120
that being able to enjoy each other, calling out and doing things, I think that, you know,

892
00:59:39.120 --> 00:59:44.720
that's, that's my thought, but she has one too. Yeah. I think our relationship is strongest when

893
00:59:44.720 --> 00:59:49.360
we are just spiritually connecting together. I think some of my favorite moments are when we can

894
00:59:49.360 --> 00:59:55.760
just sit for hours and hours and just, you know, just talk about scripture and, and, you know,

895
00:59:56.320 --> 00:59:59.840
what God's doing in our life or each other's life or, you know,

896
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.240
what we're seeing him move and do, and it just kind of, for me, it's an indication of

897
01:00:07.600 --> 01:00:13.120
how God really has brought us together, and it allows us to dream and build things together.

898
01:00:14.000 --> 01:00:20.960
And so that gets me, like, really excited to be able to share that with you and

899
01:00:23.280 --> 01:00:28.320
just know that, you know, God's doing a really awesome thing in our life, even though it's

900
01:00:29.040 --> 01:00:38.240
at times really difficult and hard. It's just, I know that I know that I know that God has

901
01:00:38.240 --> 01:00:43.680
really beautiful testimony in our life, in our kids' lives, and what we're going to be able to

902
01:00:45.280 --> 01:00:49.760
pour into other people and bless other people with is just going to be really extraordinary,

903
01:00:49.760 --> 01:00:54.880
and I get excited about that. Like, I look forward to it, so.

904
01:00:55.840 --> 01:01:01.520
Yeah. I'm just looking at this worksheet, and, you know, those are really important,

905
01:01:01.520 --> 01:01:05.280
powerful things, and like Chuck was saying, you know, no one promised us that it was going to be

906
01:01:05.280 --> 01:01:09.840
easy. You know, we say that all the time around here. You know, it doesn't have to be easy.

907
01:01:09.840 --> 01:01:16.080
It just has to be worth it, and, you know, the hard times are hard. They are. There's no getting

908
01:01:16.080 --> 01:01:20.160
around that. The hard times are hard, and, you know, and hopefully that's not all we have is

909
01:01:20.160 --> 01:01:24.800
hard times, you know, because this life, you know, there's a lot of things that are not going

910
01:01:24.800 --> 01:01:31.040
to be exactly what we wanted it to be, but it should be. There should be a lot of times where

911
01:01:31.040 --> 01:01:35.120
it's even better than we expected, and so we have to make sure that there's a balance of that.

912
01:01:35.120 --> 01:01:40.880
So, you guys, I told you guys, I told you guys that the first two years were going to be really

913
01:01:40.880 --> 01:01:48.000
hard when you got, before you got married, and you guys don't know these folks, but they got,

914
01:01:48.000 --> 01:01:53.280
Carla and Jeremy got married real fast, and so I can see where Jeremy's saying,

915
01:01:53.280 --> 01:01:58.080
hey, we're at our best in this season, in this newlywed season. We're at our best when we get

916
01:01:58.080 --> 01:02:03.120
to just be a couple. We don't have to just be mom and dad. We don't just have to be co-parenting.

917
01:02:03.120 --> 01:02:08.080
We don't just have to be trying to run a household or figure out finances. We're the

918
01:02:08.080 --> 01:02:16.960
best when we get to be free and young and in love and explore, and yeah, duh, and you need that,

919
01:02:16.960 --> 01:02:21.520
and I think God wants that. In fact, I'm kind of going to prophesy that he wants more of that

920
01:02:21.520 --> 01:02:26.880
going forward because you do need that. You need it. It's important, and because you don't have

921
01:02:26.880 --> 01:02:34.000
the other co-parents, because Jeremy's wife has passed and Carla's son's father lives far away,

922
01:02:34.000 --> 01:02:38.320
lives in another state far, far away, and he already was kind of a deadbeat. I don't know

923
01:02:38.320 --> 01:02:42.880
if he's doing better now, but he already has a bunch of other kids with someone else and just

924
01:02:42.880 --> 01:02:48.960
really hasn't had the co-parenting mindset, so what I really want to challenge you guys to do

925
01:02:48.960 --> 01:02:53.360
is to make sure that you're forming community that you trust with your children that you can

926
01:02:53.360 --> 01:02:59.360
treat like co-parents, and maybe that's even a little bit of a ministry for you guys to actually

927
01:02:59.360 --> 01:03:05.280
create family ministry where other people who would like to go and explore and play,

928
01:03:05.280 --> 01:03:10.160
you know, where they would have help and a little bit of respite and sabbatical as well,

929
01:03:10.160 --> 01:03:15.760
so finding that within your friend group and your church group and your family group is important,

930
01:03:15.760 --> 01:03:20.000
and then Carla's like, and of course this, knowing Carla, and I know her really well,

931
01:03:20.880 --> 01:03:26.320
I've gotten to know her really well over the years, her answer is totally what I would expect,

932
01:03:26.320 --> 01:03:31.840
that she feels the most connected. She feels like their marriage is at its best when they're

933
01:03:31.840 --> 01:03:37.920
hitting on all cylinders, especially spiritually. When they're plugged in, when they're seeing what's

934
01:03:37.920 --> 01:03:44.000
deeper, you know, Carla is definitely a spirit mate personality where she needs to be known

935
01:03:44.000 --> 01:03:50.640
in a deeper, deeper way. It can't just all be surface stuff or just even lifestyle stuff. It has to

936
01:03:50.640 --> 01:03:57.520
also be, you know, deep, the deeper part of her, and so that's good, and it's good to know each other,

937
01:03:57.520 --> 01:04:02.160
and it's good to know what you need, and it's good to know what each of you are defining as

938
01:04:02.160 --> 01:04:06.640
what makes a really great marriage that's going to leave a legacy.

939
01:04:08.480 --> 01:04:14.240
Yeah, what makes it, okay, and so that's, those are good answers. So we'll do one more, we have

940
01:04:14.240 --> 01:04:18.640
time for one more activation after Jim and Phyllis go. Jim and Phyllis, what did, how did you fill in

941
01:04:18.640 --> 01:04:29.200
the blank of that sentence? The sentence is, our relationship is strongest when we are blank.

942
01:04:30.160 --> 01:04:35.840
Doing what together? I think I feel like really connected to him. Like,

943
01:04:37.360 --> 01:04:47.280
I got fired from my job in September, and so we had talked about that, and like, and I was like,

944
01:04:47.280 --> 01:04:52.800
should I go back to work right away? Should I wait? He said, take the rest of the year off. Okay,

945
01:04:52.800 --> 01:04:59.760
so actually, I've been working with him. He's a painter. I'm a nurse, right?

946
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:10.000
And so, but I've been going to work with him and, and I feel really connected to him when we're,

947
01:05:10.000 --> 01:05:18.880
we're painting, we're at the job site or doing whatever. And like, we're not even talking,

948
01:05:18.880 --> 01:05:27.520
right? We're not even near each other, but it's like, like just accomplishing a task together.

949
01:05:27.520 --> 01:05:35.920
Right. So, so I love that. And so like his own business, do you own your business? Oh,

950
01:05:35.920 --> 01:05:39.200
yes. Okay. So you're kind of like working in the business with him.

951
01:05:39.200 --> 01:05:42.800
Yeah. I'm working in the business and it may just have to marriage is half over.

952
01:05:45.440 --> 01:05:51.200
I said upon marriage, she's half owner. Oh, that's true. That's true. You guys,

953
01:05:51.200 --> 01:05:55.200
did you catch what Phyllis said? She said she feels really connected when they're

954
01:05:55.200 --> 01:05:59.360
working together, but they're not even really communicating. It's kind of like the other

955
01:05:59.360 --> 01:06:06.160
communication, you know, that, that unspoken communication. I think that that's, I think

956
01:06:06.160 --> 01:06:09.680
that's something to take note of. Jim, what about you? How do you fill in that sentence?

957
01:06:10.480 --> 01:06:14.560
Well, same thing. Like I guess I was looking at the question from four.

958
01:06:15.520 --> 01:06:22.320
Yeah. You know, our relationship is strongest, you know, Phyllis dreams up what she wants us to do

959
01:06:23.280 --> 01:06:28.640
and work in construction my whole life. We know how to, you know, how to put it together. So,

960
01:06:29.440 --> 01:06:33.520
you know, at our house, we bought in Kingman, we're making islands for the kitchen. We're

961
01:06:34.080 --> 01:06:38.160
digesting the counters and we're making them ourself. We're not buying them pre-made and,

962
01:06:39.200 --> 01:06:44.800
and so that's always fun to do. We also own a big motorcycle and we travel a lot across country

963
01:06:44.800 --> 01:06:51.120
trips. We did our small group, our churches in Louisville, Kentucky, and we drove out there,

964
01:06:51.120 --> 01:06:55.760
got baptized a couple of years ago on the motorcycle. Every year we do, last year,

965
01:06:55.760 --> 01:07:03.200
we did 10 states. And we went to South Dakota. The week before that we did eight or 10 states

966
01:07:03.200 --> 01:07:09.440
that year. And so I, to me, you've, if you traveled ever on a motorcycle long distance,

967
01:07:09.440 --> 01:07:14.400
that's about as close as you can get, right? You can't sit on the other side of the car and

968
01:07:14.400 --> 01:07:20.000
eat and drink what you want. And I mean, you're, you're inches apart the whole trip, right?

969
01:07:20.080 --> 01:07:23.200
That's the closest you can get to death in my opinion, but yeah.

970
01:07:24.480 --> 01:07:31.120
So, you know, I can't say my battery went dead on my, on my, you know, helmet and I couldn't hear

971
01:07:31.120 --> 01:07:36.720
what she was saying half the time if I wanted, but that was okay. I texted him and he could see

972
01:07:36.720 --> 01:07:46.320
it on his dash. I was like, Hey, Hey, we need to stop here. We hit a real bad, we hit a real bad

973
01:07:46.320 --> 01:07:51.440
thunderstorm at night, pouring down and looked like the thunder was enlightening was right next

974
01:07:51.440 --> 01:07:57.920
to us. And I can feel her knees squeezing tight. Right. But my, my intercom did die that day that

975
01:07:57.920 --> 01:08:03.200
night. And so she's texting me. I can read it across my dash, you know, don't worry. We're

976
01:08:03.200 --> 01:08:08.320
going to be home. We're going to be home. So I think her thighs weren't saying, Hey baby,

977
01:08:08.320 --> 01:08:24.800
they were saying, Oh God, we're really close physically, emotionally and spiritually. And,

978
01:08:24.800 --> 01:08:28.880
you know, we build a lot, we're building our house together out there. I mean, the house is built,

979
01:08:28.880 --> 01:08:35.680
but we're, we're building it, making it our own. And we do, we, we have a lot of great times,

980
01:08:35.680 --> 01:08:43.279
99% of the time. I can honestly say I've had more fun with Phyllis in a short time

981
01:08:44.160 --> 01:08:49.439
because my previous wife was sick for a long time. So I would do trips with my friends. I would go

982
01:08:49.439 --> 01:08:53.760
hunting, fishing with my, with a good friend of mine. We'd take off that way. My wife could never

983
01:08:53.760 --> 01:09:00.080
go anywhere. Now Phyllis is someone that likes to do things, even though it's not extravagant,

984
01:09:00.080 --> 01:09:06.080
if it's working around the house together, we enjoy that. And I think that was one thing.

985
01:09:06.960 --> 01:09:10.240
When we first got together, we talked about somebody to do something with.

986
01:09:11.040 --> 01:09:16.319
Yeah. Right. And so that's, that's something we've built on, I think from that.

987
01:09:17.680 --> 01:09:22.080
Yeah. Building together, working together, accomplishing things together. Sounds like

988
01:09:22.640 --> 01:09:26.399
our, our, our relationship is strongest when we're, when we're companions,

989
01:09:26.479 --> 01:09:30.560
when we're being companions for each other. And you know, that's you guys later.

990
01:09:31.200 --> 01:09:37.200
I think our relationship is strong very much most of the time. And a lot of it was me

991
01:09:38.479 --> 01:09:44.080
not letting it go. Right. Not giving it to the Lord. Right. Holding on to the hamster wheel,

992
01:09:44.960 --> 01:09:48.399
just because I think things didn't come out the way I thought they should have.

993
01:09:48.399 --> 01:09:54.400
Right. So I've learned and I've grown from that. And, and I think I've said before, you know, I,

994
01:09:54.400 --> 01:09:59.520
I stopped asking to get what I had before and take what's better.

995
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.840
Take what I'm learning is better because we're working through this, right?

996
01:10:03.880 --> 01:10:05.960
Yeah. I kept saying I wanted to be,

997
01:10:06.000 --> 01:10:09.800
I wanted to be like it was before I found out what was going on. Right.

998
01:10:10.280 --> 01:10:11.120
Instead,

999
01:10:12.480 --> 01:10:16.000
I can appreciate what we have now and knowing that it's going to be better than

1000
01:10:16.020 --> 01:10:17.000
what it was before.

1001
01:10:17.640 --> 01:10:19.200
Well, it's deeper, right?

1002
01:10:19.240 --> 01:10:22.400
And there's a deeper understanding between the two of you. And you know,

1003
01:10:22.400 --> 01:10:26.680
I see all the sunflowers, I see the sunflower, I see the pictures. And, um,

1004
01:10:26.720 --> 01:10:29.400
you know, we just did, uh, in, in last year single,

1005
01:10:29.400 --> 01:10:33.000
I just had someone come into a times and seasons activation.

1006
01:10:33.480 --> 01:10:37.280
And I really just feel like you guys are headed into a summer season and your

1007
01:10:37.280 --> 01:10:42.280
marriage. So it's going to be, you know, bright and sunny and full of fruit.

1008
01:10:42.720 --> 01:10:47.440
And so I just want to release that over you and bless you with that. Um,

1009
01:10:47.480 --> 01:10:49.960
because I believe that that's what God is saying right now.

1010
01:10:49.960 --> 01:10:54.280
You guys have come through some winter and some spring where you are replanting

1011
01:10:54.280 --> 01:10:55.120
the soil.

1012
01:10:55.360 --> 01:10:58.920
And I believe that that stuff is starting to grow now and blossom and you're

1013
01:10:58.920 --> 01:11:03.320
heading into a really beautiful, nice summer season. So that's going to be great.

1014
01:11:03.520 --> 01:11:07.880
Okay. So let's do this activation at the end here. Hopefully you guys,

1015
01:11:07.880 --> 01:11:11.920
I know some of you are behind, um, even though, even though, um,

1016
01:11:12.600 --> 01:11:13.600
this is our fourth week.

1017
01:11:13.600 --> 01:11:16.600
Some of you guys are still behind on the reading and on the activation.

1018
01:11:16.600 --> 01:11:20.440
So keep doing it. You have access to these materials.

1019
01:11:20.760 --> 01:11:23.520
You're going to have access to these materials. Really?

1020
01:11:23.680 --> 01:11:27.080
I'm not going to say lifetime access. Cause what does that even mean? So,

1021
01:11:27.080 --> 01:11:31.360
I mean, what does that mean? Like, you know, who knows AI takes over the world.

1022
01:11:31.360 --> 01:11:33.360
You're not going to have access anymore. I don't know.

1023
01:11:33.360 --> 01:11:37.400
Like, is there going to be like a technology apocalypse? I don't know. So,

1024
01:11:37.400 --> 01:11:40.120
but you're not getting kicked out of this group. In fact,

1025
01:11:40.360 --> 01:11:42.400
I want to tell you that we're expanding this group.

1026
01:11:42.920 --> 01:11:45.640
And so you guys are the first people to kind of go through this course,

1027
01:11:45.920 --> 01:11:48.800
but we're expanding our spirit mates community.

1028
01:11:48.800 --> 01:11:52.200
And we're going to be adding, um, several other coaching couples.

1029
01:11:52.200 --> 01:11:56.480
We have Brian and, um, Brian and Renee divorce.

1030
01:11:56.480 --> 01:11:59.640
So you guys know, a lot of you guys know Renee Rizzo.

1031
01:11:59.800 --> 01:12:03.600
She's been a coach in our program for a long time. She is now a married woman.

1032
01:12:05.200 --> 01:12:09.640
Um, and, uh, she actually just graduating from seminary and she and Brian are

1033
01:12:09.640 --> 01:12:13.760
going to be coaches in our, in our spirit mates community.

1034
01:12:13.760 --> 01:12:18.200
Same with Bethany and Brian, all the Brian's Bethany and Brian Cooper.

1035
01:12:18.280 --> 01:12:21.280
And Bethany is also a graduate of our program a long time ago.

1036
01:12:21.680 --> 01:12:24.400
And she's been married. Gosh, has she been married for four years now?

1037
01:12:24.400 --> 01:12:28.120
I think so. Um, so yeah, yeah. So there,

1038
01:12:28.160 --> 01:12:32.720
so they're going to be with us as well. Also, uh, Joe and Shelby Sealy,

1039
01:12:32.760 --> 01:12:37.080
they've been married for like 30 years. They live out in California and they are,

1040
01:12:37.320 --> 01:12:41.920
they have a, um, a marriage ministry out there in Northern California.

1041
01:12:41.920 --> 01:12:45.120
They're going to be part of this as well, as long as,

1042
01:12:45.120 --> 01:12:46.800
as well as other guests,

1043
01:12:46.800 --> 01:12:51.040
couple coaching on everything from blended family to

1044
01:12:51.040 --> 01:12:55.320
communication to just fun times. You guys, you'll be the first people I'll tell.

1045
01:12:55.320 --> 01:12:58.120
We are going to actually have our first couples retreat in the fall.

1046
01:12:58.360 --> 01:13:02.560
We're going to have it in beautiful, um, Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

1047
01:13:03.400 --> 01:13:07.640
And so we are going to be staying at a beautiful house there in

1048
01:13:07.640 --> 01:13:10.880
Gatlinburg, Tennessee, and we're going to have all kinds of fun.

1049
01:13:10.880 --> 01:13:14.880
It's going to be in the fall when it's gorgeous there. Um, we will have, uh,

1050
01:13:14.920 --> 01:13:17.520
some, some couples building activities.

1051
01:13:17.840 --> 01:13:20.560
We'll have some in-person couples building activities.

1052
01:13:20.800 --> 01:13:25.560
We'll be doing a lot of eating and a lot of just shenanigans of all

1053
01:13:25.560 --> 01:13:28.240
different types. There's all kinds of fun things to do there.

1054
01:13:28.240 --> 01:13:31.320
If you've never been there in a smoke, is it Smoky Mountains?

1055
01:13:32.400 --> 01:13:35.000
Is that Gatlinburg Smoky Mountains? Okay. Um,

1056
01:13:35.040 --> 01:13:39.120
so that is going to be in September.

1057
01:13:40.120 --> 01:13:44.400
Um, and I know the dates, but I don't know why I'm not saying them right now.

1058
01:13:44.400 --> 01:13:49.480
I just, they've just escaped my mind. So, um, that will be available.

1059
01:13:49.760 --> 01:13:54.000
I think that I think nine couples can come to that retreat. Um,

1060
01:13:54.040 --> 01:13:58.640
we'll also be having a beach retreat for couples down in

1061
01:13:58.680 --> 01:14:03.000
beautiful Santa Rosa area, Santa Rosa 30A.

1062
01:14:03.600 --> 01:14:07.800
You guys familiar with 30A? So we'll be having a beach retreat down there. Um,

1063
01:14:07.840 --> 01:14:11.360
that one will be more just beach related.

1064
01:14:11.680 --> 01:14:15.320
So the beach will be there. We'll definitely be eating and we'll have a private

1065
01:14:15.320 --> 01:14:18.000
chef. Um, we'll have lots of, you know,

1066
01:14:18.000 --> 01:14:21.960
activations and couple time and time to meet new couples and hang out with

1067
01:14:21.960 --> 01:14:25.640
people and have fun. Um, but that's more of just a vacation.

1068
01:14:25.800 --> 01:14:29.000
The Gatlinburg more is like kind of team building where I do some obstacle

1069
01:14:29.000 --> 01:14:32.200
course stuff. We're going to for, we're going to confront our fears,

1070
01:14:32.200 --> 01:14:33.320
might zip line,

1071
01:14:33.640 --> 01:14:37.000
do some things that cause people to like get out of their comfort zones,

1072
01:14:37.000 --> 01:14:40.280
get a little crazy. Um, so both those,

1073
01:14:40.320 --> 01:14:44.680
those are our retreats for this year for couples and we'll have, you know,

1074
01:14:44.680 --> 01:14:48.520
other, other couple coaches there, David and Dorman and I will be there,

1075
01:14:48.720 --> 01:14:50.080
but there will be other,

1076
01:14:50.200 --> 01:14:55.400
another couple's coach on hand for both of those retreats. And, um, yeah,

1077
01:14:55.400 --> 01:14:59.320
I'm excited about it. I'm excited about it. Okay.

1078
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:07.840
Jackie. Yes. I had a quick question. Sure. I would like to be able to, is it possible

1079
01:15:07.840 --> 01:15:16.880
to be able to set it up to where I can tune in to the Supernatural Saturday on my app?

1080
01:15:16.880 --> 01:15:21.760
You should be able to do that. Are you not on the men's app? No, he doesn't have the

1081
01:15:21.760 --> 01:15:27.040
men's app. I just have the one. Okay. Well, we're going to add Supernatural Saturday to

1082
01:15:27.040 --> 01:15:35.440
the spirit mates group calendar. Should I reach out to have him get the men's group

1083
01:15:35.440 --> 01:15:41.600
on his so that he can start doing that? I mean, he can if he wants to. Um, also you

1084
01:15:41.600 --> 01:15:47.120
guys all are in the spirit mate app, spirit mate group on the app, right? Unless you're

1085
01:15:47.120 --> 01:15:55.640
saying all of you. Okay. So you know that in that there is, um, an events tab and that's

1086
01:15:55.640 --> 01:15:59.480
probably how you got here. Cause the link is there. So we'll have, I'll have them.

1087
01:15:59.480 --> 01:16:04.840
I'll make a note to myself. I'll have Cheryl add Supernatural Saturday to that. Okay. Thank

1088
01:16:04.840 --> 01:16:14.680
you. Supernatural Saturday is fire. Oh, it is. That's what this one, that's where I found

1089
01:16:14.680 --> 01:16:19.800
the information. All right. But yeah, if you gentlemen, if you gentlemen would like to

1090
01:16:19.800 --> 01:16:27.400
join Monday men's, you definitely can. Um, so it happens at the same exact time on Mondays.

1091
01:16:27.400 --> 01:16:32.520
So if you want to, um, if you want to join that, join in the conversation over there,

1092
01:16:32.520 --> 01:16:37.960
just a bunch of men talking about how they can show up and just, you know, be the, be the,

1093
01:16:37.960 --> 01:16:43.080
be the men that God has designed them to be. My husband leads that group. There's other leaders

1094
01:16:43.080 --> 01:16:47.800
that pop in and lead that group as well, but mostly him. All right. All right. So let's do

1095
01:16:47.800 --> 01:16:54.120
this. Let's do this confession as we are ending our time together. Let's do this confession,

1096
01:16:54.120 --> 01:17:01.000
please. Um, I need to go back to it now that I went out of it. Okay.

1097
01:17:05.080 --> 01:17:13.800
All right. So in the spirit of week four, it says our love is meant to matter. Our story

1098
01:17:13.800 --> 01:17:18.200
is meant to impact others. And we agree with heaven's purpose for us.

1099
01:17:18.920 --> 01:17:23.080
Can we go ahead and say that together? Our love is meant to matter.

1100
01:17:26.360 --> 01:17:27.480
You can unmute yourselves.

1101
01:17:31.800 --> 01:17:35.480
There we go. Yeah. It's waiting on Jim and Phyllis there.

1102
01:17:37.480 --> 01:17:41.000
Sorry. There. Are you reading that out of the book, Jackie?

1103
01:17:41.640 --> 01:17:46.120
No, it's, it's on, it's on the worksheet week four is on the very bottom.

1104
01:17:47.240 --> 01:17:54.360
Oh, okay. Purpose in unity say together. Ready? Our love is meant to matter.

1105
01:17:57.560 --> 01:18:00.120
Our story is meant to impact others.

1106
01:18:00.600 --> 01:18:07.640
Our story is meant to impact others. And we agree with heaven's purpose for us.

1107
01:18:13.080 --> 01:18:18.760
Friends, I will tell you, I'm on the front lines of warfare out here when it comes to marriage

1108
01:18:18.760 --> 01:18:23.000
ministry, because all God ever wanted was a family. And this whole thing started with a

1109
01:18:23.000 --> 01:18:28.280
marriage and the entire thing is going to end with a marriage. Okay. Marriage is very important to

1110
01:18:28.280 --> 01:18:32.520
God's heart. I know it's something that has fallen by the wayside. Culture has told us that

1111
01:18:32.520 --> 01:18:37.320
we don't need to do it anymore. Um, even churches have told us we don't need to do it anymore.

1112
01:18:37.960 --> 01:18:42.040
They've told us that, you know, just be content in being single and just serve God and you don't

1113
01:18:42.040 --> 01:18:47.560
need to be married, but marriage is God's maturity plan for mankind marriage and family as it draws

1114
01:18:47.560 --> 01:18:53.880
us closer to him because we get to see him clearer through each other. And it also refines us and

1115
01:18:53.880 --> 01:18:59.320
matures us to become more and more like Jesus. I believe that marriage is a sacrament of

1116
01:18:59.320 --> 01:19:04.440
purification. You know, the Catholics think of it as a sacrament, right? Not everyone receives it.

1117
01:19:04.440 --> 01:19:10.040
Like not everyone receives the sacrament of holy communion. Um, but if you're called to marriage

1118
01:19:10.040 --> 01:19:15.320
is what Jesus said in Matthew 19, then you should do it. And I believe that people that have a desire

1119
01:19:15.320 --> 01:19:19.080
for companionship that have desire for partnership, they're the ones called to marriage.

1120
01:19:19.080 --> 01:19:23.640
And I do believe that it's the majority of humankind that will be called to marriage.

1121
01:19:23.960 --> 01:19:29.160
There are some people that are called to celibacy and they're called to, um, just fully,

1122
01:19:29.160 --> 01:19:34.920
fully focus on ministry. And those people are more like Paul, like missionary minded people

1123
01:19:34.920 --> 01:19:41.080
that are on, you know, a different, a different call in their lives. And so for those of us that

1124
01:19:41.080 --> 01:19:48.440
are called to, uh, marriage, it is going to refine us. It is going to perfect us. It is going to be

1125
01:19:48.440 --> 01:19:54.920
part of the sanctification process of Jesus. Right? And so here we are. It's not always fun,

1126
01:19:54.920 --> 01:19:59.880
but it definitely is worth it. And if we allow ourselves, if we surrender,

1127
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:07.360
to it, which is what I was, what Jim was saying, you know, just let go, stop trying to fight it,

1128
01:20:07.360 --> 01:20:14.400
surrender to it. Um, when we do that, then that is how we just become, you know, closer and closer

1129
01:20:14.400 --> 01:20:20.480
in intimacy with each other and with God, that's how it works. And so continue to pray for all the

1130
01:20:20.480 --> 01:20:26.320
couples. There'll be a lot more couples coming in here. If you guys are, are lacking couples to be

1131
01:20:26.320 --> 01:20:31.760
friends with. One of my visions is that this would grow exponentially into being a huge

1132
01:20:31.760 --> 01:20:37.040
community of couples that get together with each other in person, that go to dinner with each other

1133
01:20:37.040 --> 01:20:41.760
because they know each other. They live in proximity, um, that get together for vacations

1134
01:20:41.760 --> 01:20:46.640
and couples outings. And, you know, they have motorcycles, they go on motorcycle trips together,

1135
01:20:46.640 --> 01:20:52.640
you know, whatever. We all need other couples in our lives to continue to sharpen us and help us

1136
01:20:52.640 --> 01:20:59.600
to become better wives and husbands and friends. And in fact, I was just in Charleston and we were

1137
01:20:59.600 --> 01:21:05.120
talking about friendship and how friendship is an art that's been lost. And your best friend is

1138
01:21:05.120 --> 01:21:07.920
right there. I want you to look at each other and I want you to tell each other, you know,

1139
01:21:07.920 --> 01:21:18.160
you're my best friend. Yeah. It starts here. Definitely need to be, you know, best friends

1140
01:21:18.160 --> 01:21:24.240
and lovers, lovers and best friends, but also, um, we want to have other friends, maybe not

1141
01:21:24.240 --> 01:21:28.320
best friends where each other's best friends, but we want to have other friends. It's important that

1142
01:21:28.320 --> 01:21:32.400
we have other friends because I want you to also look at the other person and say, you know, even

1143
01:21:32.400 --> 01:21:39.680
though you're my best friend, I need, I need more friends than you. Even though you're my best

1144
01:21:39.680 --> 01:21:46.240
friends, I need more friends than you do. We can't get siloed and codependent with each other. You

1145
01:21:46.240 --> 01:21:49.920
know, yes, we're each other's best friends and we're important, but if you expect this person

1146
01:21:49.920 --> 01:21:54.240
to be the person that meets all of your human needs, there are some needs that only should

1147
01:21:54.240 --> 01:22:00.640
be met by this person, intimacy and emotions, intimacy and physicality, you know, sexual needs,

1148
01:22:00.640 --> 01:22:04.640
all that, that should definitely be met by your spouse. But then there's other needs that are

1149
01:22:04.640 --> 01:22:09.920
going to be met by same sex friends, right? Ladies, you need women in your life. The Bible talks about

1150
01:22:09.920 --> 01:22:15.280
how women raise each other up to be lovers of their, of their husbands and their children and

1151
01:22:15.280 --> 01:22:20.720
family and men. It talks about how you will sharpen each other, how friends are made for

1152
01:22:20.720 --> 01:22:25.600
adversity and iron sharpens iron. And so we need this stuff, don't we? It's important. And what

1153
01:22:25.600 --> 01:22:33.680
better way to get it than in a package deal, a twofer, a couple, a couple where you like them

1154
01:22:33.680 --> 01:22:40.800
and they like you. Yeah. Maybe we can see everybody in Tennessee. Yeah, that'd be awesome.

1155
01:22:40.800 --> 01:22:46.560
I took the, I took the motorcycle to the tail of the dragon once a few years back and I did that

1156
01:22:46.560 --> 01:22:51.520
by myself. So I'd be willing to go out there and we'd ride the bike. We'd ride the motorcycle,

1157
01:22:51.520 --> 01:22:59.040
meet everybody at the resort and everybody else that's there. Definitely. Yeah. When I really

1158
01:22:59.040 --> 01:23:03.680
like a woman, I'll get my husband and I'll be like, we're going to go to dinner with her and

1159
01:23:03.680 --> 01:23:09.760
her husband. Now you listen, you be friendly and you talk to him and you make friends with him.

1160
01:23:09.760 --> 01:23:19.040
Cause I really like her and I want us to all be friends. Has anybody ever watched the King of

1161
01:23:19.040 --> 01:23:24.960
Queens? Yes. That's funny show. When they're trying to find friends to go out with, doesn't

1162
01:23:24.960 --> 01:23:32.080
Doug raise his shirt up and show his hairy belly to scare off the couple? I haven't seen that

1163
01:23:32.080 --> 01:23:36.720
episode. I'll have to Google it. They're trying to find other friends to go out with on Saturday

1164
01:23:36.720 --> 01:23:42.400
nights. It's fun. And he apparently doesn't want to. So he's trying to scare away. He doesn't like

1165
01:23:42.400 --> 01:23:50.160
his wife's friends from work. Yeah. Very funny. Okay. I saw Carla get on Jeremy. She's like,

1166
01:23:50.800 --> 01:23:57.600
be friendly, Jeremy. Okay. All right. Okay guys. Well, it has been a pleasure to facilitate these

1167
01:23:57.600 --> 01:24:03.360
conversations the last four weeks. Remember you still can go through the materials and just hang

1168
01:24:03.360 --> 01:24:08.080
tight in this group. Um, I will be posting in here. We have a meeting to tomorrow's Tuesday,

1169
01:24:08.080 --> 01:24:12.960
right? Wednesday, we have a meeting. And after that meeting on Wednesday, we'll be posting

1170
01:24:12.960 --> 01:24:18.640
a calendar of what's up coming in spirit mates. All right. And all of you are grandfathered in

1171
01:24:18.640 --> 01:24:25.680
because you're taking those questions in the, in the spirit mates or as are you going to answer

1172
01:24:25.680 --> 01:24:30.800
them and still just make sure that you post them under the ask a coach tab and not in the regular

1173
01:24:30.880 --> 01:24:37.040
feed. Okay. Okay. All right. Yeah. You'd be the first one. No one's posted anything there yet.

1174
01:24:37.040 --> 01:24:43.200
So post it there because that's how it's easy to find on the, on the app. Okay. Okay. All right.

1175
01:24:43.200 --> 01:24:49.440
You guys love you so much. Thank you God for these couples. Thank you for their legacy. Thank you for

1176
01:24:49.440 --> 01:24:52.960
their lineage. Thank you for everything. You brought them together for everything you're

1177
01:24:52.960 --> 01:24:57.520
going to do in their lives and their families and their businesses and the things that they're

1178
01:24:57.520 --> 01:24:59.920
creating God that are going to change the world, Laura.

1179
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.320
Thank you for the seasons that they're in Lord, give them patience in those

1180
01:25:03.320 --> 01:25:07.960
seasons, God, help them to see that you are with them and to lean on you, God,

1181
01:25:07.960 --> 01:25:11.840
in times of adversity, knowing that spring season or summer seasons right

1182
01:25:11.840 --> 01:25:15.040
around the corner and father, we thank you for it in Jesus name.

1183
01:25:15.060 --> 01:25:15.480
Amen.

1184
01:25:15.860 --> 01:25:17.800
All right, see you in the app friends.

1185
01:25:17.880 --> 01:25:18.240
Bye-bye.