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We will get started. So welcome, ladies. I see that there is 14 of us on, so welcome.

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It is February 3rd, 1 o'clock Eastern. This is Love Story Accelerator. Today we're going

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to be touching a little bit on Divine Feminine, so I hope you're excited about that. It's

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one of my favorite videos. So we'll be covering that a little bit today. And I was just discussing

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before I hit record, we definitely want to make time to get to as many questions and

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unpack as many things as possible. But I do want you ladies to really, really, really,

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really do your best to get into that app and do your best at posting your responses there

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or posting your questions there, what's going on, updating us. Myself and Ebony are

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diligently trying to get in there and give you all our thoughtful coaching responses and doing

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our best to catch up. I was just telling Stephanie, I'm getting caught up from my weekend of being

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out of pocket. I literally had no phone. I didn't even know what time it was. It took our phones.

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They literally were like, okay, we're going to give you like no control, which is something

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that I have often struggled with. And so it was a really big blessing for me this weekend. And so I,

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I had to really work on that. So I'm finally getting caught up on all of those. And I have

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gotten to most of the ask the coach questions. And I'm now working on the category of all and

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wins. But Stephanie, yes, I'll have to go back and look at the ones in the responses, which is

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actually a good reminder, because I know we do have a few people that have jumped into our phase

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within the last couple weeks. So this is just a friendly reminder. Many of you already know this,

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when you are replying to us coaches in your post, reply to your post, not to us coaches

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under your post. Does that make sense? Because for some reason, it does not trigger it does not

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notify us. And so if you were if you responded to us, under our reply under your post, we won't get

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notified. For whatever reason, we did have some updates. And we got some things fixed. And now

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we're working on fixing some new things that it costs. So bear with us. We are aware of a lot of

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those things. If you do notice that there are some glitches, and you're recognizing some things,

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you know, put a help ticket in, you know, don't hesitate to let tech know, hey, I'm having a

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problem with the app. And also, I don't know which device you all prefer, whether it's your phone or

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your computer. But don't hesitate to try both. Personally, I like using my computer. I don't like

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using the app on my phone. Like if I'm typing responses, and y'all know, I'm very long winded.

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I'll be like, typing responses, and all of a sudden, it like won't let me keep going. And I'm

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like, and then I'm typing and I can't see my errors. And I'm like, this is just so much better

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if I'm just on my computer. So that's something to try as well. You might find, you know, one device

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works better than the other. So those were things that I wasn't even going to housekeep on. But

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obviously, that needed to be housekept, right? Do I have any new ladies with me?

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Catherine, so good to see you. Nice for you to join us. I got some Google Pixel 7a. I don't know

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who that is. I don't know your name. I don't see your face. But I hope I'm glad you're here.

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If you can come live on camera, I'd love to see your face. I do know that a lot of us

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at this hour of work can't always do that. So I totally understand that. But if you can,

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it does help me to see your lovely faces. So if you could do that, I would love it.

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But for those of you that don't know me, I am Carla Johnson. I'm one of your coaches here.

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And last year single, you'll see me hop in phase one at times. Phase two is where I'm primarily at.

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I do keep a watch sometimes in phase three, not as often. I don't typically go on those live calls

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as frequently. But you'll see me kind of throughout. I am a success story. I came to

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last year, single community and beginning of October of 2020 been a couple years single.

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Okay. I've been through the ups and the downs, the highs and the lows. And then by the grace of God

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and being fully surrendered. All right. It took me a really long time to get fully surrendered y'all.

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And I still work on that. Okay. And my husband did find me finally. I still joke with him. I'm like,

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why'd you take so long? And we've now been married to about two and a half years, actually

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two and a half years. But today, would today be the two and a half year mark? I don't know. Maybe

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it's two years and five months. I can't remember. We got married September 3rd of 2023. So we're

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blending a family. So I even have some experience with that as well. But yeah, like I said,

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I've been through the ups and the downs. Totally understand that surrendered heart.

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Like I shared earlier was, you know, on a retreat this weekend and believe it or not, I, I myself

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had to fully surrender some areas of my life that I was wanting to kind of hold on to. And so I'm

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saying that because I just want to let you ladies know that I know you went through phase one

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and phase one. In the beginning, we talk about that supernatural surrender,

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but I want to remind you of how important it is to continue to be pressing into that and be

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checking in. Yes, Cynthia, it's continual, you know, be checking in. Are you fully surrendered?

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You know, that's one area that I struggle with. I, I'm a closet control freak.

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And, you know, I had to finally get to a point where I'm like, these are some things I cannot

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control. You know, I want I'm a helper, a leader, a teacher by nature, just my gifting. You know,

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I've got that Deborah anointing, just this leadership, you know, calling on my life.

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And it's really easy for me just to kind of want to take control and be like,

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God, I got this for you. I know what's best. And I want to take God's responsibilities from him.

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And so I've really had to work on that myself. So I say that just to press on y'all's heart

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is just don't, don't neglect checking in with yourself and with the Lord.

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And asking yourself, are you fully surrendered in these areas, especially when you're finding

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yourself kind of at this like, roadblock at times, you know, ask the Lord to reveal to you,

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what is it that you know, you need to fully surrender? So, yes, we're gonna, we're gonna

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cover Divine Feminine today. And then I want to leave time for your questions for sure.

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One last thing, talked about, yeah, I did talk about making sure that y'all are going in the app,

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posting under Ask the Coach. Two weeks from now, I think we're going to go ahead on September,

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not September. I'm here talking about my wedding. February 17th, to do another one of our

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Come Camera Ready. If you want some feedback from myself and Ebony about Camera Ready for

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those online dates that we encourage you ladies to do if you're long distance, or you've been

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chatting with somebody for at least a week, we want you getting on those video chats if you can't

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get in person, especially if it's a long distance situation. So put that on your calendar, that when

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you come live in two weeks, be Camera Ready, have your cameras ready and on. Okay, so I think we're

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gonna definitely do that. And then keep in mind, you know, obviously, we want you posting in the

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app as frequently as possible coming to the lives. But we also know that there are some of you ladies

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that would just prefer to have a little bit longer of a session of unpacking and coaching that is

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available, but it is an additional fee. But we do offer one on one coaching. We have several coaches

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that offer that myself, Ebony included here in phase two, we have coaches that were from your

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phase one experience, and coaches from phase three as well that are in there. And that's under your

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resource tab under hire a coach. And it's a 50 minute session. So that is always available if

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you feel you would benefit from that and you want to invest that in yourself. That is an option.

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Okay. So, all right, I don't really want to spend a whole lot of time on the feminine. But just by a

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show of hands, raise your little avatar hand. How many of you have

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yet to watch the Divine Feminine video in our content for phase two.

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Catherine, you might be one of them.

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Okay.

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Alyssa, I know Catherine is brand new.

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Christina, you have yet to watch Divine Feminine.

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Okay.

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So there's about three of you.

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I think that I see, I don't know if I caught anybody else.

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All right.

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I want those ladies who have not watched that, don't rush.

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Okay.

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Especially if you're fairly new.

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Okay.

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It's like the second, no, that might be the third video that you watch.

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So if you're still in that, those beginning weeks, don't worry.

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Okay.

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You'll get to it.

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All right.

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So I'm just going to give you just a little bit, a little extra.

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You're going to get like a little sneak peek.

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So just keep that in mind.

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Everybody can take notes.

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But when you do, I do want you to kind of focus on, you know, listening for those

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characteristics that Jackie talks about as far as what the Divine Feminine

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characteristics are.

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And those are those, like you're, you're nurturer, you are, you know, you're

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caring, you're compassionate.

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You have that just sense of wanting to be a caregiver.

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You're emotionally in tune to things.

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That's just the feminine nature.

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It really, it really is.

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It's just kind of how God's designed us and operates us and allows us to operate.

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Um, and then she does touch a little bit on that masculine as well.

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And so that is important to understand what our role is and how to show up.

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And then as you ladies get into dating, you'll start recognizing how important

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it is to see how the feminine is different from the masculine.

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And then you'll see how at times where you might kind of exhibit some

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masculine qualities, or you'll expect the men to show up in a more feminine side.

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And so it's really good to just spend time with the Lord and in that video and

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just in prayer, really asking the Lord to reveal to you what, what God's design of

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masculine and feminine really looks like, especially in relationship.

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And so as you ladies start navigating, dating, and just, and basically dating

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for discovering what that looks like, you're going to see some of

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those things start come to surface.

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And so the more you get, you know, involved in our app and coming to these

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calls, the more we're going to be able to unpack those things with you.

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And God's just going to just start revealing a lot more things and you're

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just going to grow and you're going to heal and it's going to be amazing.

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Right.

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I say this from experience and I will say this, I'm even still learning

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how that operates in marriage.

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Like I had, you know, just kind of revelation just recently, even today

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about how a man can show up in his masculine energy as being emotionally

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intelligent, my husband and I communicate very differently.

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You know, I'm a very deep, um, highly sensitive, emotional person.

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Like I'm a feeler.

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I have a deep spiritual like side to me.

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Like I just, there's just this, I mean, I don't know how to describe it.

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I think, you know, I was seeing Callie's, um, you know, she shared about herself

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and I could just so relate to her.

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I'm like, girl, you speak in my language.

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Like, I get that.

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Like, I just am such a very much like just spiritually deep, intimate

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person, and I just cherish that.

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And so I sometimes want my husband to show up in that way.

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And he is emotionally intelligent, but his emotion and emotional

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intelligence shows up differently than it does in me.

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And so I'm like learning like, oh, mine's in like feeling and talking and, you

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know, where his is just a calm steadiness that brings me more peace, but it's how

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God operates and so that will start coming up as you ladies start dating for

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discovery as well.

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So when you're watching that video, I definitely want you ladies to be

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considering that.

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Um, one thing I really want to express when I'm talking about the divine feminine,

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it's not just what you say, it's how you move, it's how you respond, and it's

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also how you receive.

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Okay.

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And so some of those behaviors, it's, it's, are you showing up in a soft way or

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are you tightened?

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Are you receiving?

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Are you accepting something?

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Are you trying to operate in control?

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So like I just shared a moment ago, like.

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I don't always like to receive I want to control so that's something that I had

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to work on through the years and my singleness and in my married life being

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able to express warmth instead of just being neutral that for me is not

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difficult because again I'm highly emotional so that's never a difficulty

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for me but when I was on this retreat this weekend I did notice there were a

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lot of women that did struggle with this and that might that might be you

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especially if you came from a home where it wasn't okay for you it wasn't a safe

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place for you to share your feelings so if you grew up in a home where emotions

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were not a safe like form of expression you might not feel comfortable showing

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up in that way you might not being you know comfortable showing up in it that

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feminine or maybe you've had past relationships where it wasn't safe to

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show your emotions and so you've built these learned behaviors or these triggers

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and these traumas that have created these blocks that now that's you're not

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showing up in that feminine because you're operating in this counterfeit

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trauma response and so that's something that you know will will start surfacing

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and God will you know begin to surface that and and what he reveals to you so

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that you can start getting that healing some other behaviors to look at are like

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allowing support instead of doing it alone you know that's where independent

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women right you know I'm 42 I think it's that you know R&B like independent women

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like song like you know pay my bills pay my you know like whatever like you know

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we have to be independent women you know we don't need we don't need help from

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men it's this like we grew up I mean if you're you know you're 40 50 30 years

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old you know even even 60 years old like you probably grew up thinking like I

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have to take care of myself these men aren't gonna take care of me so I gotta

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do it myself well that's not how really God wants us to operate so and that can

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be hard to break I was like that I was like I'm independent and then I was a

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single mom so I had to do everything by myself my my son's dad was like mm-hmm

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I'm not really helping you out you want money you only want money because you

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just want to take money from me no dude it's like it's an obligation you have to

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your son like your little money is not helping me it's literally helping pay

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half of childcare dude so but you know that was I had a hardness about myself

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that I had to really allow myself to kind of work on that and even now like I

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can sometimes get a little independent with my husband and frustrated that I'm

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like no I want to do this all by myself I don't want to ask him for help so um

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those are just things to be thinking about and so um yes there's not always a

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motive when help is offered exactly like sometimes people just want to help

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because it's a blessing for them to do and so sometimes when we don't allow

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people to help us like we're blocking their blessing have you ever thought

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about that like especially if you're someone that likes to bless people like

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how does it feel when someone doesn't accept your blessing so if anybody ever

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had that happen you try to bless somebody and they're like no no no and

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you're like you're taking that from me so just keep that in mind all right so

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I'm gonna have us do and I think I've done this I think I did this about six

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weeks ago when I talked about this and I just want us to go ahead and just step

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into our feminine right now Callie you're about to go Amish okay I okay fun

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story I lived in Sarasota Florida and there is an Amish Mennonite community

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called pine craft in Sarasota Florida and I worked in pine craft and a well

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known restaurant they have an they have a hotel restaurant like gift shop all

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that kind of stuff so I worked around a lot of that so trust me there's some

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things there in the Amish that you might

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Not want it doesn't look as it's not as glorious as you think it is. Okay, but I I totally feel you

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I totally understand. Yes. It's that simple life. It is there is a lot of perks to it

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But I will share

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Just a little bit about the divine feminine and masculine

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There is still some little little stuff in there that it's it's not in alignment with god's divine design as well

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so

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Um, I will I will say that okay

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um, all right, well, we're just gonna go ahead and just

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Um, and again if you can have your camera on

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Be best so I can see so all y'all all the other ladies can watch you as well

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I want us to just practice

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Showing up in a soft feminine, okay

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Yeah, blue I saw you you're like, what does that mean?

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Well, first let me ask this

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I i'm curious how many and just by a raise of hands just raise your little avatar hand

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Really struggle

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With showing up

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in a

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Feminine way that they really feel like that feminine

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Spirit like they're just like that

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It makes me uncomfortable

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Like if that's you look ladies, there is no shame I I want you to be real and honest

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I appreciate that honesty

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So lou, I think was it alissa? You had your hand raised kelly. Thank you

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Ladies, thank you for being honest stephanie. Thank you

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that

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That's that's difficult

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And ladies, that's okay

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That's what we're here

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We're here to help you process that

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And this is not going to be one of those things that just overnight. It's just gonna like click

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we're gonna take this in steps of

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Let's help

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with partnership with holy spirit

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Let's really figure out

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What is it that the lord wants to heal so that?

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We can step into what god's created us

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Okay, I really want to encourage you ladies

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to understand that

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Being feminine doesn't mean that we're weak

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Feminine is not weakness

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And I know for for a lot of us

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um, especially if we've been abused and just

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um treated really poorly whether it was in our family of origin

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or

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relationships

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or you know

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Teachers coaches just people in general just people strangers even

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Where we've just been treated and taken advantage of and like treated like we were beneath them

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Like it can feel

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Crippling

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And it can you know, and so there's this part of us that we're like

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We feel like we have to defend ourselves

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That you know people have

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We've you know, there's people that have their actions have created these hurts in us

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that

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We now feel like we have to protect and defend ourselves

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And so that was never god's plan

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And so god wants to come in and he wants us to heal in those areas

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And so

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It's it doesn't have to be an overnight fix

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But god's gentle

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He's not forceful

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And he is going to start helping

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Peel back those layers and we can start uncovering that together

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And know that you're not alone

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There are several women here in this community

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That feel the same way

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Okay, we all might not have experienced the same traumas

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But we all

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Can at some point relate to some things that might be similar?

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Okay

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So we don't have to be afraid

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We don't have to put up a guard. We can be vulnerable here

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That's one thing that you know

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I had to step into this weekend

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I had to step into this weekend. Not only did I not have my phone

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Didn't know what time it was

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Y'all I didn't even know like I had to rely on people to wake me up on time

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It's very weird, um, no control over what I ate when I ate um

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Lots

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things. But really leaning in this weekend, I was with 20 other women from

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my church. Many of them I didn't really know personally, but I had to get to a

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place of complete vulnerability and share some just deep places of my heart.

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And also they had to do the same. And ladies, when we have a

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community that allows us to do that, God can really like transform. And so I

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really like, I've been in this community since 2020. I've seen what the

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vulnerability can do here in just an online community, but I even just got to

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experience with a local community too. So it doesn't just happen in local

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community. But then I was reminded, I'm like, I get to show up every week in an

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online community where we get to do the same thing. And so I really hope that you

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allow yourselves to step into that feminine, that divine, that being able to

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be vulnerable and share here openly that we're here to meet you wherever

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you're at. And when you let those walls down and you open up, it is a safe place.

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And once one woman shares, another woman relates, and then she can share it. And I

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saw that happen even this weekend, like one woman was just like, just sharing of

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how just tormented she was in her marriage. And she was just like hiding

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and trying to make it look like it was something that it wasn't. And she just

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let it out and actually encouraged another woman to share something that she

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was battling. And there was so much release. And so I say that, because that

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happens here in this community too. And so I really want you ladies to feel

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comfortable here. Okay. So I thank you for those ladies who just now shared

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like, I struggle with this softer feminine side, like that's uncomfortable

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for me. And so if that's you spend time with Holy Spirit this week and ask God

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to reveal to you what's that rooted in? Where does that come from? What memories

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and past things happen in my life? Did I start feeling like I had to show up more

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with a, you know, this exterior that was not this soft feminine, or who God

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created me to be, that I had to defend myself that I, you know, had to show up

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differently that I can't express emotion or I have to control things, or I have to

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be hard and not soft. And, you know, I have to do things on my own, and I can't

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get help from people like where, where's that rooted in, and share that with us in

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community. And maybe, you know, once we have time, at the end of this call, if you

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want to share that at the end of the call, like, we can we can leave space for

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that, too. So right now, I just want you ladies to kind of just sit, if you want to

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stand, you can stand, I'm gonna sit, I'm just gonna, so sit, or stand. I want you

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all to relax your shoulders. Okay, check your jaw, is your jaw clenched? I noticed

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myself over these last couple weeks, I typically carry stress in my neck and my

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shoulder, and I started going to the chiropractor, and they were working on

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that, and then all of a sudden where I carry the tension and stress in my neck

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and shoulders, because they were working on that, I started shifting all the

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tension and stress in my my jaw and my mouth. I had just like all the sores and

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things, like because I held all my stress in my mouth. So I really want you to

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focus on your jaw, is your jaw tight, or is it loose? If it's tight, I really want

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you to practice like loosening your jaw. Okay, just a little bit, and now I just

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want you to gently, like, this is why this helps when we are on video, because

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we're gonna make soft eye contact with each other, and we're just gonna have a

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gentle smile.

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Okay, and just go through everyone that's on your screen, and see if you can make,

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it's a little hard making eye contact, I get it, but see.

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if you can make eye contact and recognize if there's that soft smile on their face.

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Okay, Lou, you're doing awesome, girl.

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See, you say you have a hard time doing it, but you do it. You actually have a beautiful smile.

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And I got my girl Cynthia on now. Hey, girl. See, look at that smile that she has. She got

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a good smile too. Preachy, I see you, but I want to see a gentle smile. There we go.

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Do you see? And then when we smile, Stephanie, there's your smile. Yes, girl. Kelly, where's

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your smile? There. Yes, Kelly, I still see yours. Alyssa, I see yours. Lovely. I want to see yours

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too. I think she just came on. There. You see, ladies? And now let me ask, okay? Yeah, totally

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fine, Preachy. You're multitasking. You're good. Let me ask, especially for those ladies that I

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had to say, hey, I want to see your smile. When you smiled, did anything change in your spirit?

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You can unmute and you can share. I know when I asked you and I saw it,

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it changed something in my spirit. So Stephanie, she felt lighter.

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When I saw Lou's smile, like her smile, like literally brought me so much joy. Same with

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Preachy. Like, y'all, and I'm getting literally Holy Spirit goosebumps right now, just even

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talking about that. So that I just know is Holy Spirit.

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So ladies, I really want you practicing that this week. You know, just when you're kind of,

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you know, and then I get it. We're kind of getting the groove and we're getting in our mind, you

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know, we've got, you know, things that we got to get done and all that, you know, if you're like

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me, I've got a million things on my to-do list. And so I can sometimes like, you know, just be

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in my head and then I'm not thinking about that. But I just want you guys to practice that.

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I really want y'all to be like thinking out through the week, like stopping and being like,

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just give yourself like a quick check, like where you just stop, you relax and you just,

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just smile and just smile inside and smile on your face. You know, when you're walking,

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you know, you know, you're out and about walking, whether it's at the grocery store

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or, you know, if you're at school or you're picking your kids at school, if you're in,

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you know, car pickup line, you know, sometimes car pickup line is really hard to smile at people.

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So all my mamas that pick up their kids at school, y'all know what I'm talking about.

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Some of those people can't drive. They don't know what they're doing.

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One of these days, I just need to record for the car pickup line at my son's elementary school.

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It's insane. I used to actually volunteer to help at drop-off in the mornings.

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I finally had to tell school, I'm like, I can't volunteer anymore because this is just not,

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I'm like, it doesn't start my day well.

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And I'm like, the last thing you need to see is a stressed out mama and these poor

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little babies coming out to start school. And I'm like, slow down to these parents.

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I do every now and then like go help out. Cause I do like bringing

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smiles to the kids' faces, but some of the parents are not always so joyful.

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Karen, you're laughing at me, but you, you probably know seriously.

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But like I said, just practice that this week, really be checking in

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with yourself this week about what that looks like. Just show up in a soft feminine,

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soft, gentle smile. Bring the joy of the Lord. You know, that's the, you know, the fruit of the

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spirit, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness,

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self-control, like all of that. Okay. Okay. I want to make time. So I'm going to kind of probably

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move through some of this. I'll probably, cause I did a lot of this six weeks ago.

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Um, for this week for your weekly activation, what I want you ladies to do and what I want you

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ladies to post about, um, is I want you to at least pick one thing this week.

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And, I want you to share, I want you, okay, one, I want you to smile intentionally in

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public.

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Make eye contact and smile at someone intentionally.

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And share what you experience through that.

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Okay, then, I want you to be on the lookout to receive help or kindness at some point

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this week.

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And if someone doesn't offer it, I really want you to have some courage to ask for help.

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Preferably with a gentleman.

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And ladies, this does not need to be a guy that you're interested in.

404
00:36:00.140 --> 00:36:08.540
Okay, honestly, I would, when I did this activation, I preferred not to do it with someone that

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I was interested in.

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Like, I, you know, at the time, I was in my late 30s when I was single on the program.

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I went, I think I went to like Home Depot or something like that.

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And I just went up to like one of the male workers that was probably in his 60s and asked

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him for help.

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Like, go ask an older gentleman or a younger gentleman to help you with something, to get

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00:36:36.700 --> 00:36:39.780
something off of a shelf for you.

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You know, if you want to paint your dining room or your bedroom and you're looking for

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a paint color, go ask their opinion.

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If you're traveling and you're putting your bag on the overhead, ask a guy, can you put

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00:37:01.660 --> 00:37:05.060
this bag up for me?

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Or can you get that bag down for me?

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I have a hard time doing that when I'm short, y'all like I'm 5'3".

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And again, my control side comes on, my impatience, y'all, I can get really impatient.

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My husband and I were talking with Jackie last night because we were doing the heartwork

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for couples.

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We just launched that.

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So we were finishing up, that was our last week.

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And we were sharing about like what our moods were.

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And I was like, one of my moods, one of my typical moods is like irritation and like

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I'm irritable and impatient.

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And then I'm typically like super friendly and social and then I can be laid back and

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calm.

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And I'm like, but you know, like if I'm moody, you're going to know I'm irritated and annoyed

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and impatient.

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So I can oftentimes like, and this happened when I was traveling in December, like I was

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just like, even with my husband, I'm like, just like, let me just get this.

432
00:38:07.100 --> 00:38:12.340
And I was like pulling all of the bags down for my kids, for my husband.

433
00:38:13.140 --> 00:38:16.380
And I wasn't even one that had a carry on above, but I don't think that I was not like

434
00:38:16.380 --> 00:38:19.540
ripping everything down and be like, come on, let's go, we got to get going.

435
00:38:19.540 --> 00:38:23.580
We got five of us in a family and I'm like, oh, these people are waiting for us.

436
00:38:23.580 --> 00:38:31.340
And so, but I want you ladies to ask for help and not, if you're like me and typically want

437
00:38:31.340 --> 00:38:37.780
to operate in that, I want you to stretch yourself to speak and you know, be thinking

438
00:38:37.780 --> 00:38:40.140
of how you can do that.

439
00:38:40.140 --> 00:38:46.100
Same thing if you, if you're typically wanting to rush again, I'm a rusher because I can

440
00:38:46.100 --> 00:38:47.100
be very impatient.

441
00:38:47.100 --> 00:38:51.780
I really want you to pause and slow down.

442
00:38:51.780 --> 00:38:56.460
You catch yourself this week where you're rushing, rushing, rushing, rushing, pause

443
00:38:56.460 --> 00:39:03.300
and slow down and share about that nap with us.

444
00:39:03.300 --> 00:39:16.740
Or if you're someone that often wants to, when people give you compliments, instead

445
00:39:16.740 --> 00:39:20.940
of minimizing yourself or dismissing it, I want you to actually take the compliment and

446
00:39:20.940 --> 00:39:21.940
say thank you.

447
00:39:21.940 --> 00:39:25.380
Y'all, I didn't, I was not good at that either.

448
00:39:25.380 --> 00:39:28.900
I still sometimes like, even my husband will be like, oh babe, you're so beautiful.

449
00:39:28.900 --> 00:39:32.300
And I'm like, no, not, no.

450
00:39:32.300 --> 00:39:38.940
And he's like, wow, like why do you never take compliments?

451
00:39:38.940 --> 00:39:40.460
And he's, it's, he's right.

452
00:39:40.460 --> 00:39:49.340
Like that comes from some past traumas, never feeling good enough, never feeling valued

453
00:39:49.340 --> 00:39:56.380
and you know, worthy, you know, always kind of feeling like pushed aside by men I was

454
00:39:56.380 --> 00:39:59.060
in relationship with.

455
00:39:59.060 --> 00:40:00.060
And so when my husband.

456
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:06.080
and shows up in that way, like sometimes it's uncomfortable for me and he's he's very affectionate

457
00:40:06.080 --> 00:40:09.840
and he's like a physical touch person and I used to be a physical touch person but sometimes I'm

458
00:40:09.840 --> 00:40:18.400
like why are you always like having to like pet me and I'm like but it's that can sometimes be

459
00:40:18.400 --> 00:40:23.840
a challenge I mean and it's not he he he'll just want to like love on me and not in a sexual way

460
00:40:23.840 --> 00:40:28.880
it's just literally like wants to hold my hand and I'll be like that's weird I'm not saying you

461
00:40:28.880 --> 00:40:36.960
know go have men touch you okay don't hear what I'm not saying okay but when people are giving

462
00:40:36.960 --> 00:40:42.960
you compliments receive the compliments not the sexual compliments okay we're gonna put

463
00:40:42.960 --> 00:40:54.320
boundaries up for those but the genuine compliments like hey I really appreciate you know

464
00:40:54.320 --> 00:41:05.600
the extra work that you know you did organizing the you know the mail room or something like that

465
00:41:05.600 --> 00:41:13.280
or you know I saw what you did in in the the lounge like you know or know where we all eat

466
00:41:13.280 --> 00:41:17.280
or something like that at work or something like that or you know where everybody gets coffee

467
00:41:17.280 --> 00:41:26.160
or maybe you showed up with you know donuts for your your co-workers or something and they're like

468
00:41:26.160 --> 00:41:33.040
wow I really appreciate how thoughtful you are to your co-workers you know don't be like oh that's

469
00:41:33.040 --> 00:41:38.720
nothing no no be like thank you thank you for recognizing that you know it really brings me a

470
00:41:38.720 --> 00:41:45.920
lot of joy when I can you know bless people that way like take the compliment like receive it

471
00:41:46.240 --> 00:41:57.200
okay um and then if you you know it's winter it's cold um if you want to make wear something

472
00:41:57.200 --> 00:42:02.800
that seems very feminine and which there's things that we can feel feminine in in the winter I find

473
00:42:02.800 --> 00:42:07.520
it a little bit harder for myself because I like a lot of dresses and I can't find myself wearing

474
00:42:07.520 --> 00:42:12.320
a lot of dresses in the winter but if you want to wear something this week that makes you feel

475
00:42:12.400 --> 00:42:18.480
that makes you feel comfortable and confident and very feminine maybe something with lots of color

476
00:42:19.200 --> 00:42:26.000
um you know just play around with colors that just accentuate your your skin tone your eyes

477
00:42:26.560 --> 00:42:35.840
anything like that um jewelry like that will make you pop extra little extra makeup on this week

478
00:42:35.840 --> 00:42:40.960
that you can feel comfortable to kind of just feel a little more feminine I want you to do that

479
00:42:40.960 --> 00:42:47.360
maybe snap a picture of yourself um and share that in the group so that's going to be your

480
00:42:47.360 --> 00:42:56.960
activations for the week okay so again what I'll close with is you know being feminine isn't about

481
00:42:56.960 --> 00:43:03.760
being small it's really just about being open yes lipstick at the gym you know putting on a little

482
00:43:03.760 --> 00:43:15.040
lip color a little lip gloss that's a good thing um yes Tulsa Oklahoma everyone will say something

483
00:43:15.040 --> 00:43:19.920
nice even if it's about your shoes oh my goodness you know I actually don't live too far I don't

484
00:43:19.920 --> 00:43:25.120
know how tall how far Tulsa is away from Dallas Fort Worth I know like it's only like an hour and

485
00:43:25.120 --> 00:43:34.720
a half is Tulsa how far is Tulsa from Dallas about four hours by car and like 50 minutes by

486
00:43:34.720 --> 00:43:44.640
plane okay awesome I know we were going to go to Broken Bow this past weekend and then Broken Arrow

487
00:43:45.440 --> 00:43:50.480
Broken Bow no Broken Bow yeah I don't know yeah that's like a whole like that's apparently that's

488
00:43:50.480 --> 00:43:56.640
where everybody in the Dallas Fort Worth area goes for like like cabin stuff like hiking

489
00:43:57.680 --> 00:44:04.320
that's where us Dallas folk go but with the ice storm that came last week like the roads like we

490
00:44:04.320 --> 00:44:09.920
couldn't get to the Airbnb that we had so we ended up having to go south in um like the Marble Falls

491
00:44:09.920 --> 00:44:17.520
area in Texas so um but I was like I've never been I mean driven through Oklahoma I just have never

492
00:44:17.520 --> 00:44:24.000
like stayed anywhere in Oklahoma so but it's on my list and so when I get to Oklahoma I will let

493
00:44:24.000 --> 00:44:32.880
you know all right um and then Lou if you have you and actually this goes for any of you check

494
00:44:32.880 --> 00:44:40.720
the resource tab in the app and look for single cities and find a single city that's near you

495
00:44:40.720 --> 00:44:47.280
and get get signed up for that it's in Facebook so I mean you'll go on our app but single cities

496
00:44:47.280 --> 00:44:53.920
are in Facebook and so you'll need to get a code from the resource tab and then you know as long as

497
00:44:53.920 --> 00:44:59.920
you're in Facebook request to join the single city in Facebook you'll have to have the code

498
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.360
code, which is, again, it's in the document that's

499
00:45:04.360 --> 00:45:06.960
in the Resource tab, and do that.

500
00:45:06.960 --> 00:45:11.480
So I'm not sure, Lou, which single city

501
00:45:11.480 --> 00:45:13.560
would be closest to you.

502
00:45:13.560 --> 00:45:16.680
Dallas or, yeah, Dallas-Fort Worth.

503
00:45:16.680 --> 00:45:21.120
So yeah, definitely do that, because then maybe

504
00:45:21.120 --> 00:45:24.080
the Dallas-Fort Worth single city, because I'm in that one.

505
00:45:24.080 --> 00:45:26.680
And so maybe we could potentially,

506
00:45:26.680 --> 00:45:29.360
if we get some Oklahoma girls in there,

507
00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:32.480
we could do an Oklahoma.

508
00:45:32.480 --> 00:45:34.240
And there's men in there, too.

509
00:45:34.240 --> 00:45:39.800
I don't know how many men, but do an Oklahoma gathering

510
00:45:39.800 --> 00:45:41.440
or something like that sometime.

511
00:45:41.440 --> 00:45:44.240
If people just drove an hour or two one way,

512
00:45:44.240 --> 00:45:46.680
and we could figure that out.

513
00:45:46.680 --> 00:45:50.240
So I don't know particular.

514
00:45:50.240 --> 00:45:52.200
We're always growing those single cities.

515
00:45:52.200 --> 00:45:53.660
You'll have to go in there and see.

516
00:45:53.660 --> 00:45:56.120
I know that those are updated, so definitely check it out.

517
00:45:56.120 --> 00:45:57.040
OK?

518
00:45:57.040 --> 00:46:01.200
All right, so any questions about?

519
00:46:01.200 --> 00:46:03.680
There actually are some in the Midwest.

520
00:46:03.680 --> 00:46:04.920
I do actually know that.

521
00:46:04.920 --> 00:46:07.680
There is Indianapolis, I believe.

522
00:46:07.680 --> 00:46:12.680
There's a tri.

523
00:46:12.680 --> 00:46:15.880
I know there's several in Ohio.

524
00:46:15.880 --> 00:46:17.480
So there's several there.

525
00:46:17.480 --> 00:46:20.520
I know DC has one, New Jersey.

526
00:46:20.520 --> 00:46:27.560
We have some in Phoenix, LA, Redding, I think

527
00:46:27.560 --> 00:46:33.960
maybe San Francisco, a few others.

528
00:46:33.960 --> 00:46:35.800
There's a handful.

529
00:46:35.800 --> 00:46:41.360
For my Canada girls, there definitely are some there, too.

530
00:46:41.360 --> 00:46:47.760
I think Alberta, Canada, Edmonton, Toronto,

531
00:46:47.760 --> 00:46:51.600
I think there might be some.

532
00:46:51.600 --> 00:46:53.920
But New York, I do know there.

533
00:46:53.920 --> 00:46:55.920
Tampa, because I used to moderate that one

534
00:46:55.920 --> 00:46:57.360
when I was in Sarasota.

535
00:46:57.360 --> 00:47:02.360
Orlando, Jacksonville, I don't know

536
00:47:02.360 --> 00:47:07.360
if there's one in Miami or South Florida.

537
00:47:07.360 --> 00:47:12.680
Atlanta, North Carolina has some.

538
00:47:12.680 --> 00:47:14.360
So yeah, there's all sorts.

539
00:47:14.360 --> 00:47:16.200
Those are the ones off the top of my head.

540
00:47:16.200 --> 00:47:18.960
But definitely go check that out, OK?

541
00:47:18.960 --> 00:47:22.200
All right, any questions about Divine Feminine or things

542
00:47:22.200 --> 00:47:23.840
that we want to unpack?

543
00:47:23.840 --> 00:47:27.560
We've got at least a good 40 minutes to be able to do that.

544
00:47:27.560 --> 00:47:29.800
I know, Stephanie, you want to unpack some stuff.

545
00:47:29.800 --> 00:47:32.040
I know, Gail, we wanted to unpack some things

546
00:47:32.040 --> 00:47:34.800
with anybody else.

547
00:47:34.800 --> 00:47:36.040
Questions?

548
00:47:36.040 --> 00:47:38.120
It doesn't have to be about Divine Feminine.

549
00:47:38.120 --> 00:47:38.920
It can be anything.

550
00:47:38.920 --> 00:47:42.160
I do have a question about the Divine Feminine, actually.

551
00:47:42.160 --> 00:47:43.120
Yeah, let's go.

552
00:47:43.120 --> 00:47:44.320
What's your question?

553
00:47:44.360 --> 00:47:49.440
So my question is, what does the feminine and, I guess,

554
00:47:49.440 --> 00:47:50.760
what to look for in the masculine,

555
00:47:50.760 --> 00:47:53.160
as well, in an online setting?

556
00:47:53.160 --> 00:48:00.560
Like, how do we show up in our feminine in our chats,

557
00:48:00.560 --> 00:48:05.640
in our conversations online?

558
00:48:05.640 --> 00:48:07.600
Because that's different than, you know,

559
00:48:07.600 --> 00:48:10.080
hand me this from the shelf, and thank you

560
00:48:10.080 --> 00:48:12.400
for opening the door for me, and that kind of thing.

561
00:48:12.400 --> 00:48:15.680
And also, what should we be looking

562
00:48:15.680 --> 00:48:20.400
for as evidence of masculine in an online setting?

563
00:48:20.400 --> 00:48:22.760
Because that's where I'm struggling a little bit.

564
00:48:22.760 --> 00:48:27.000
OK, that's a really good question.

565
00:48:27.000 --> 00:48:30.960
There are going to be things that you can kind of look for.

566
00:48:30.960 --> 00:48:34.560
But I do want to encourage you ladies

567
00:48:34.560 --> 00:48:38.400
that it's not going to be something that is just

568
00:48:38.400 --> 00:48:39.920
going to be there right away.

569
00:48:39.960 --> 00:48:41.960
Like, it is something that you're

570
00:48:41.960 --> 00:48:46.160
going to observe over time, OK?

571
00:48:46.160 --> 00:48:49.960
Like, I don't want you to say, oh, this man is a masculine man,

572
00:48:49.960 --> 00:48:52.400
and so, or this man is not a masculine man.

573
00:48:52.400 --> 00:48:55.040
That's why, you know, you want to have

574
00:48:55.040 --> 00:48:56.680
some non-negotiables about things

575
00:48:56.680 --> 00:48:58.400
that you're looking for in the men

576
00:48:58.400 --> 00:49:00.920
that you're looking at online.

577
00:49:00.920 --> 00:49:04.400
But it is really about the getting to know you piece.

578
00:49:04.440 --> 00:49:10.520
And so that's important, OK, of how they show up.

579
00:49:10.520 --> 00:49:15.480
So are they, and again, we want to offer some grace.

580
00:49:15.480 --> 00:49:19.120
They're not always going to show up like this divine masculine.

581
00:49:19.120 --> 00:49:23.360
And I'm saying that because, for example,

582
00:49:23.360 --> 00:49:26.360
my husband is a very divine masculine man,

583
00:49:26.360 --> 00:49:27.880
but that doesn't mean that there are not

584
00:49:27.880 --> 00:49:32.040
areas where he doesn't always operate in divine masculine.

585
00:49:32.040 --> 00:49:33.880
Because he's gotten trauma.

586
00:49:33.880 --> 00:49:40.520
He was in a marriage for 11 years with a very unhealthy woman

587
00:49:40.520 --> 00:49:46.000
that there was just a lot of toxic stuff in her past.

588
00:49:46.000 --> 00:49:49.160
He had a very, you know, controlling mother

589
00:49:49.160 --> 00:49:51.720
that created a lot of trauma in him.

590
00:49:51.720 --> 00:49:54.960
And so I've had to give a lot of grace with him,

591
00:49:54.960 --> 00:50:00.040
especially in his, he's a very emotionally spirit-led.

592
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.000
a male and masculine and he's a steady, stable, strong man.

593
00:50:06.000 --> 00:50:08.760
He is very emotionally intelligent,

594
00:50:08.760 --> 00:50:13.040
but sometimes it can be very disconnected

595
00:50:13.040 --> 00:50:15.940
because he can be responding in trauma.

596
00:50:17.120 --> 00:50:22.040
And so he sometimes will not show up in a masculine

597
00:50:22.040 --> 00:50:27.040
because he's responding out of a not feeling safe for me

598
00:50:27.680 --> 00:50:31.880
for me because he's literally thinking,

599
00:50:31.880 --> 00:50:35.480
oh, my wife might be responding the same way

600
00:50:35.480 --> 00:50:37.280
women have in my past.

601
00:50:37.280 --> 00:50:40.760
And so it doesn't mean that he's not masculine,

602
00:50:40.760 --> 00:50:42.880
it just sometimes I'm having to give him grace

603
00:50:42.880 --> 00:50:44.400
as he works through that.

604
00:50:44.400 --> 00:50:49.400
So masculine, what I encourage you ladies to look for is

605
00:50:49.920 --> 00:50:52.000
do they have a teachable heart?

606
00:50:53.320 --> 00:50:55.160
Doesn't mean perfection.

607
00:50:55.160 --> 00:50:56.000
Okay, hold on.

608
00:50:56.000 --> 00:50:58.080
I'm talking about like even before that, Carla.

609
00:50:58.080 --> 00:50:59.480
I'm talking about even before that.

610
00:50:59.480 --> 00:51:02.800
So maybe we can go a little bit deeper.

611
00:51:02.800 --> 00:51:05.280
What do you think you struggle with

612
00:51:05.280 --> 00:51:09.280
as far as not knowing what to look for?

613
00:51:09.280 --> 00:51:11.440
Like what are some things that you're looking for

614
00:51:11.440 --> 00:51:12.840
when you're looking for a masculine man

615
00:51:12.840 --> 00:51:13.960
when you're going online?

616
00:51:13.960 --> 00:51:15.000
Let's start there.

617
00:51:17.720 --> 00:51:20.360
Okay, maybe I can tie this into a little bit

618
00:51:20.360 --> 00:51:22.280
where I wanted to unpack, right?

619
00:51:22.280 --> 00:51:25.040
So I've decided that I have a boundary

620
00:51:25.080 --> 00:51:26.800
that I'm not sharing my phone number

621
00:51:26.800 --> 00:51:28.560
before an in-person date

622
00:51:28.560 --> 00:51:30.520
or that I'm not sharing social media anymore

623
00:51:30.520 --> 00:51:33.760
because it just, you know, I wanna go on dates.

624
00:51:33.760 --> 00:51:34.600
I wanna meet them in person.

625
00:51:34.600 --> 00:51:37.000
You want real in-person dates or video dates.

626
00:51:37.000 --> 00:51:38.680
And so I don't have the expectation

627
00:51:38.680 --> 00:51:42.120
that they're gonna ask me on a date

628
00:51:42.120 --> 00:51:45.000
within, you know, two back and forth exchanges.

629
00:51:45.000 --> 00:51:50.000
But if we've been chatting for a week, you know, a week,

630
00:51:50.480 --> 00:51:54.200
then, you know, the next step is usually there.

631
00:51:54.200 --> 00:51:57.200
My experience has been that they're eager

632
00:51:57.200 --> 00:51:59.120
to get off of the app.

633
00:51:59.120 --> 00:51:59.960
Okay.

634
00:51:59.960 --> 00:52:01.080
And they, you know, they wanna do WhatsApp

635
00:52:01.080 --> 00:52:02.120
or they want my phone number

636
00:52:02.120 --> 00:52:05.520
or they wanna do, you know, Instagram or whatever it is.

637
00:52:05.520 --> 00:52:09.000
And so then, you know, as softly as possible say,

638
00:52:09.000 --> 00:52:09.920
cause that was your question.

639
00:52:09.920 --> 00:52:12.520
It's like, what's the language that I'm using?

640
00:52:12.520 --> 00:52:13.360
Yeah.

641
00:52:13.360 --> 00:52:14.760
Then I'll say, well, you know,

642
00:52:14.760 --> 00:52:19.320
I don't share my phone number or social media

643
00:52:19.320 --> 00:52:21.360
before an in-person date,

644
00:52:21.360 --> 00:52:24.840
but I'd be open to an in-person date.

645
00:52:24.840 --> 00:52:26.320
Or I say something like

646
00:52:26.320 --> 00:52:27.960
if they're a little bit further away

647
00:52:27.960 --> 00:52:30.880
or if I feel like maybe they wanna gauge more interest,

648
00:52:30.880 --> 00:52:34.360
I'm like, I'm also open to doing a video chat.

649
00:52:34.360 --> 00:52:35.680
Okay.

650
00:52:35.680 --> 00:52:36.520
All right.

651
00:52:36.520 --> 00:52:40.040
So let's work on some of the wording just in case that,

652
00:52:40.040 --> 00:52:41.720
let's see, let's work on the wording

653
00:52:41.720 --> 00:52:46.360
and see if that shifts some of the men's responses.

654
00:52:46.360 --> 00:52:47.200
Okay.

655
00:52:47.200 --> 00:52:48.040
Okay.

656
00:52:48.040 --> 00:52:50.240
So when they're like, hey, can I have your number

657
00:52:50.240 --> 00:52:51.920
or social media, whatever?

658
00:52:53.040 --> 00:52:55.080
Do you have a Google voice number?

659
00:52:55.080 --> 00:52:55.920
Yeah.

660
00:52:55.920 --> 00:52:56.760
And so that was your next question.

661
00:52:56.760 --> 00:53:01.720
And my answer was, yes, I have one for business.

662
00:53:01.720 --> 00:53:02.560
But-

663
00:53:02.560 --> 00:53:03.400
Okay.

664
00:53:03.400 --> 00:53:04.920
But you can't have two, can you?

665
00:53:04.920 --> 00:53:05.840
I don't think so.

666
00:53:05.840 --> 00:53:08.840
Also, my point is that

667
00:53:08.840 --> 00:53:13.840
I don't wanna keep giving out my phone number

668
00:53:14.320 --> 00:53:16.560
and just texting back and forth.

669
00:53:16.560 --> 00:53:19.880
I don't know if that's just an experience that I'm having,

670
00:53:20.640 --> 00:53:22.120
but it's like, can you just,

671
00:53:22.120 --> 00:53:24.560
I'm not trying to have a pen pal here.

672
00:53:24.560 --> 00:53:28.280
Like, I don't wanna go back and forth in texting

673
00:53:28.280 --> 00:53:31.360
and W, what is it?

674
00:53:31.360 --> 00:53:32.240
What are you doing?

675
00:53:32.240 --> 00:53:33.080
How are you doing?

676
00:53:33.080 --> 00:53:35.120
Like, I don't, I just-

677
00:53:35.120 --> 00:53:39.040
You're like, let's just like get to know each other.

678
00:53:39.040 --> 00:53:39.880
Let's take the-

679
00:53:39.880 --> 00:53:40.720
Yes.

680
00:53:40.720 --> 00:53:42.960
Because then what I'm finding is that, okay,

681
00:53:42.960 --> 00:53:47.960
I know that part of like me being a masculine

682
00:53:47.960 --> 00:53:50.080
in the past was like, okay,

683
00:53:50.080 --> 00:53:53.160
I'm good with conversation in the sense that like,

684
00:53:53.160 --> 00:53:56.480
oh, I can ask thoughtful questions, right?

685
00:53:56.480 --> 00:54:00.040
To get a, you know, not super deep conversation,

686
00:54:00.040 --> 00:54:02.640
but something that gains a little traction.

687
00:54:02.640 --> 00:54:04.840
And another issue that I'm having is just like,

688
00:54:04.840 --> 00:54:07.960
it feels like I'll ask the question

689
00:54:07.960 --> 00:54:09.720
and then they'll respond,

690
00:54:09.720 --> 00:54:11.280
but then they'll say, what about you?

691
00:54:11.280 --> 00:54:13.920
And so it's like, okay, now I'm answering the question,

692
00:54:13.920 --> 00:54:15.800
which is fine, you know,

693
00:54:15.840 --> 00:54:17.040
but then it's like,

694
00:54:17.880 --> 00:54:22.880
then I have to ask another question to keep it going.

695
00:54:23.120 --> 00:54:25.720
And so that's where I'm like,

696
00:54:25.720 --> 00:54:30.720
I find that what I would consider if masculine

697
00:54:31.440 --> 00:54:35.600
is that I don't have to carry the conversation.

698
00:54:35.600 --> 00:54:38.560
I don't have to lead in the conversation.

699
00:54:38.560 --> 00:54:41.480
And I don't know if this is that entitlement, you know,

700
00:54:41.480 --> 00:54:43.600
that we've been talking about and all that thing.

701
00:54:43.600 --> 00:54:45.360
Like, I'm getting all kinds of confused.

702
00:54:45.880 --> 00:54:47.000
I'm trying to do the right things, y'all.

703
00:54:47.000 --> 00:54:51.320
But it's like, you know, let them lead and be feminine.

704
00:54:51.320 --> 00:54:53.760
But, you know, get them to listen.

705
00:54:53.760 --> 00:54:57.840
It's like, I'm trying to find the balance,

706
00:54:57.840 --> 00:54:59.920
but it's like, you know.

707
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.280
sure i can i have in the past give my number sure and then it's like text me for another week two

708
00:55:05.280 --> 00:55:11.760
weeks and then fall off or like i'm trying to be as you know i'm open to this if you're not

709
00:55:11.760 --> 00:55:16.400
comfortable with it there was a guy who was like i suggested zoom and he laughed at me he said it

710
00:55:16.400 --> 00:55:22.960
was anti-personal and then i was like well i don't i don't look at it that way i see it as a way to

711
00:55:23.520 --> 00:55:28.160
to have boundaries with strangers online but if that doesn't work for me for you like i can

712
00:55:28.160 --> 00:55:35.440
i respect that and he came back with said whoa oh i didn't think of it that way but i understand

713
00:55:35.440 --> 00:55:39.360
you know i just don't have zoom could we do facebook messenger and i was like you know

714
00:55:39.360 --> 00:55:44.000
what i'll tighten up my facebook i'll make sure it's real private like i'll compromise i'll do

715
00:55:44.000 --> 00:55:51.760
what i will say facebook messenger okay because i did this because i did facebook dating you can

716
00:55:51.760 --> 00:55:58.560
do you can do a facebook messenger video call and not have them as your friend yeah yeah so i

717
00:55:58.560 --> 00:56:03.520
agreed i was like yeah that's fine that i would encourage so that goes for any of you ladies

718
00:56:03.520 --> 00:56:10.160
understand now you obviously which i will encourage this for all of you and all of you ladies that

719
00:56:10.160 --> 00:56:16.960
have social media i would strongly encourage you have your social media locked down on private so

720
00:56:16.960 --> 00:56:22.720
that anybody that searches you that's not friends with you on social media cannot see your business

721
00:56:24.080 --> 00:56:30.160
now i understand if you're like a influencer or you know you do certain things for your job like

722
00:56:30.160 --> 00:56:36.000
that kind of stuff but i would imagine if you're doing stuff for your job or you're promoting

723
00:56:36.000 --> 00:56:43.280
things it's not going to be as personal so that i can understand but typically that people are

724
00:56:43.280 --> 00:56:47.680
going to do their influencers stuff or things for their job they're going to have two separate

725
00:56:47.680 --> 00:56:55.680
accounts i mean jackie has two separate accounts she has her stuff that's tied with last year's

726
00:56:55.680 --> 00:57:06.160
single she also has a personal account so she's not sharing personal stuff on jackie doorman

727
00:57:07.120 --> 00:57:13.200
that she has completely different personal account so if you only have a personal account

728
00:57:14.160 --> 00:57:22.560
ladies put that on private that you're only having people see what you're posting that you

729
00:57:22.560 --> 00:57:29.520
are friends with and also if people that are your friends can see your business make sure the people

730
00:57:29.680 --> 00:57:36.560
that are your friends are legit your friends okay and that's why i think stephanie i don't

731
00:57:36.560 --> 00:57:40.080
think i have to tell you you're not accepting these men as your friends like it's what i'm

732
00:57:40.080 --> 00:57:44.000
getting is like you're like i'm not gonna share my social media with you i don't know who you are

733
00:57:44.560 --> 00:57:52.960
like i was just it's what it comes back to for me all of it is laziness it feels like laziness

734
00:57:52.960 --> 00:57:58.480
okay because they'll get on in the past it's like they would get on my social media and

735
00:57:58.480 --> 00:58:05.280
they'd look and see and you know lurk and then stop engaging because instead of asking

736
00:58:05.280 --> 00:58:12.960
questions and having a conversation they just want to see what i'm about okay all right this

737
00:58:12.960 --> 00:58:17.360
is what i might stretch you a little bit here okay do it i know there's something there but

738
00:58:18.480 --> 00:58:22.560
that's what i'm like i'm trying to love like i'm trying to find the middle ground i know

739
00:58:22.800 --> 00:58:28.960
like ladies but stephanie is my girl y'all like especially for you new ladies that are you know

740
00:58:28.960 --> 00:58:34.080
just joining in like that you know you might not have been in in phase two for very long like

741
00:58:35.520 --> 00:58:41.040
this is what phase two is literally it's all about it really is and and and stephanie has

742
00:58:41.040 --> 00:58:45.280
been with us for you know a little bit i've been here too long i think no you haven't been you

743
00:58:45.280 --> 00:58:49.520
haven't been here too long there's no too long in our face just keep that in mind and that goes for

744
00:58:49.520 --> 00:58:57.360
everybody you're not i would rather y'all sit in this phase longer than going into phase three

745
00:58:57.360 --> 00:59:06.400
not ready like i want you ladies to feel ready to go to phase three we're here to help you like

746
00:59:06.400 --> 00:59:13.360
that's that is what we're here for okay so but she's showing up she's showing up and she's like

747
00:59:13.360 --> 00:59:19.040
look teach me show me heal me grow me like give it to me she's coming up she's she's here she's

748
00:59:19.040 --> 00:59:24.880
always vulnerable she's she's being she's being transparent like this is what i'm struggling with

749
00:59:24.880 --> 00:59:32.400
help me so she knows i'm gonna be real with her i'm gonna stretch her some okay ladies i will

750
00:59:32.400 --> 00:59:41.920
stretch you so i'm hearing i'm and i hear and i hear your frustration there are men out there

751
00:59:42.000 --> 00:59:49.280
that yes they're on these apps ladies we had this conversation when i went over online dating

752
00:59:51.200 --> 00:59:53.520
we have to be in the right mindset to do this online dating

753
00:59:54.160 --> 00:59:59.920
okay we have we have to be in the right mindset we also have to come to

754
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:08.760
terms that we are going to come across some of the unfortunate personalities with online

755
01:00:08.760 --> 01:00:10.720
dating that comes with it.

756
01:00:10.720 --> 01:00:16.400
There are broken people in this world because we live in a broken world.

757
01:00:16.400 --> 01:00:19.440
There are broken men out there just like there are broken women.

758
01:00:19.440 --> 01:00:24.560
Y'all, I was a broken woman on these dating apps.

759
01:00:24.560 --> 01:00:32.280
So we have to know that we are going to come into contact with some of them.

760
01:00:32.280 --> 01:00:35.280
And so that's inevitable.

761
01:00:35.280 --> 01:00:41.800
We have to be making sure that we are guarding our hearts and we are checking in with what

762
01:00:41.800 --> 01:00:49.560
is our response to how these men are showing up and what does God want to do in us and

763
01:00:49.560 --> 01:00:57.160
through us with no matter who comes in our path.

764
01:00:57.160 --> 01:01:04.040
You know, I was in this community for over two years doing the dating.

765
01:01:04.040 --> 01:01:09.440
Well, I wasn't dating the first year, but a good solid year after online dating and

766
01:01:09.440 --> 01:01:15.600
I came up across some duds and I also came across some really great guys too.

767
01:01:15.600 --> 01:01:22.600
Even before this community, I was online dating and I went through a lot of duds.

768
01:01:22.600 --> 01:01:23.600
Okay.

769
01:01:23.600 --> 01:01:24.960
A lot, a lot.

770
01:01:24.960 --> 01:01:30.080
I also came across some really good ones that I just couldn't even recognize honestly because

771
01:01:30.080 --> 01:01:32.720
I was very unhealed.

772
01:01:32.720 --> 01:01:35.120
So just, we know that we're going to do that.

773
01:01:35.120 --> 01:01:37.200
We're going to have, we're going to have those.

774
01:01:37.200 --> 01:01:38.200
Okay.

775
01:01:38.200 --> 01:01:42.080
I hear you that yes, we're not, we're not trying to give out our numbers.

776
01:01:42.080 --> 01:01:43.080
Okay.

777
01:01:43.560 --> 01:01:45.840
If you got the Google number, good.

778
01:01:45.840 --> 01:01:51.760
Let's work on how we're going to respond to the idea of, hey, when they're asking for

779
01:01:51.760 --> 01:01:58.160
a phone number or social media and you can say, you don't even have to say, hey, I don't

780
01:01:58.160 --> 01:02:05.800
give out my number or my social media unless I've had a video or a in-person meet.

781
01:02:05.800 --> 01:02:07.860
You don't even say, I don't do this.

782
01:02:07.860 --> 01:02:17.260
You can say, hey, would it be okay if we went ahead and just set up a video call or

783
01:02:17.260 --> 01:02:19.500
met in person?

784
01:02:19.500 --> 01:02:22.500
What are your thoughts about that?

785
01:02:22.500 --> 01:02:25.540
See how they respond to that.

786
01:02:25.540 --> 01:02:34.380
If they're like, uh, well I really don't want to meet in person until I've, you know, conversed

787
01:02:34.380 --> 01:02:35.540
a little bit.

788
01:02:35.540 --> 01:02:36.540
Okay.

789
01:02:37.500 --> 01:02:46.020
Can we do a video call or a phone call?

790
01:02:46.020 --> 01:02:55.020
And then if they kind of don't take that and they don't want to receive a video or a phone

791
01:02:55.020 --> 01:03:04.820
call at that point, you say, you know, I, I understand that you might want to have some

792
01:03:04.820 --> 01:03:07.980
more like exchanges.

793
01:03:07.980 --> 01:03:09.660
We can do that here in the app.

794
01:03:09.660 --> 01:03:18.220
If you're not ready to have a phone call or a video call or meet in person.

795
01:03:18.220 --> 01:03:24.580
But until we can set that up, I'm just not going to give out my phone number.

796
01:03:24.580 --> 01:03:26.420
I'm not comfortable giving out my phone number.

797
01:03:26.420 --> 01:03:30.780
Can I ask you a question?

798
01:03:30.780 --> 01:03:32.880
We're talking a lot about boundaries and stuff.

799
01:03:32.880 --> 01:03:37.520
Why can't I say, I don't do this.

800
01:03:37.520 --> 01:03:45.000
It's not that you're, it's because it's, it's the, it's not that you're not putting up a

801
01:03:45.000 --> 01:03:46.000
boundary.

802
01:03:46.000 --> 01:03:50.800
It's how you're delivering your boundary.

803
01:03:50.800 --> 01:03:53.960
It's coming from a very guarded place.

804
01:03:53.960 --> 01:03:58.000
I don't do this.

805
01:03:58.000 --> 01:04:00.720
It can feel very guarded and defensive.

806
01:04:00.720 --> 01:04:06.960
It just feels like I'm being asked to carry their.

807
01:04:06.960 --> 01:04:12.600
I want to find the right word.

808
01:04:12.600 --> 01:04:17.480
No.

809
01:04:17.480 --> 01:04:26.800
Like I have to hold their sense of sensibilities as it still feels like you're having to nurture

810
01:04:26.800 --> 01:04:27.800
there.

811
01:04:27.800 --> 01:04:34.800
Like you're having to like, why, why do I have to find I'm open, right?

812
01:04:34.800 --> 01:04:42.680
But why do I have to be so mindful of hurting their little feelings?

813
01:04:42.680 --> 01:04:43.680
Okay.

814
01:04:43.680 --> 01:04:45.920
The best way I could come up with that.

815
01:04:45.920 --> 01:04:46.920
No.

816
01:04:46.920 --> 01:04:50.720
And I appreciate, and I appreciate that honesty because I think that's in general what I'm

817
01:04:50.720 --> 01:04:51.720
feeling with men.

818
01:04:51.720 --> 01:04:52.720
I feel like.

819
01:04:52.720 --> 01:04:55.840
So I'm glad you brought that up because that's what I was going to get.

820
01:04:55.880 --> 01:04:58.320
I have to be soft, but you're softer than me.

821
01:04:58.320 --> 01:05:00.040
So I need to, I just.

822
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.320
No, I 100% because that's what I want to get to because then when we were carrying in our

823
01:05:06.320 --> 01:05:13.280
conversation and I wrote down these words, you said laziness, like the there's a laziness

824
01:05:13.280 --> 01:05:20.800
about them, then they're lurking, they're, you know, asking questions, there is so this

825
01:05:20.800 --> 01:05:30.520
is as giving me this sense. And so I'm going to ask you, where does this? Where's this

826
01:05:30.520 --> 01:05:37.160
rooted in? We don't have enough time for that conversation. Okay. But do you see but I know

827
01:05:37.160 --> 01:05:44.800
that that's what tells me so this, this response of why do I have to carry their feelings?

828
01:05:44.800 --> 01:05:48.720
Why do I have to show up in this way? But do you see that that's where that defensiveness

829
01:05:48.720 --> 01:05:57.840
is coming from? Where I'm going to ask you? Have you experienced a lot of hurt with men?

830
01:05:57.840 --> 01:06:06.400
Yeah. You see, that's where that's at. We got to get to healing those areas where men

831
01:06:06.400 --> 01:06:19.360
have hurt you. And what lies and belief systems got rooted to help tear down those walls.

832
01:06:19.360 --> 01:06:30.800
So that you're showing up in a less defensive anymore. Authentic self. Does that make sense?

833
01:06:31.760 --> 01:06:33.040
So let's

834
01:06:40.320 --> 01:06:47.200
where are you at with wanting to kind of go back and processing these past hurts?

835
01:06:50.160 --> 01:06:56.480
You said, I mean, I know they are, you know, I know I done the it's the abandonment and the

836
01:06:56.480 --> 01:07:01.600
rejection wounds. I have them. I have a very, I've had a very toxic relationship with my own

837
01:07:01.600 --> 01:07:05.840
father. I've, it's, you know, without too much detail ladies, but I'm sure there's a lot of us

838
01:07:05.840 --> 01:07:11.200
on here, but you know, a lot of abuse and different things. So I get it, but I'm not.

839
01:07:12.720 --> 01:07:17.440
It's not that I'm against, right? I just don't want to sit there too long all the time. You know,

840
01:07:17.440 --> 01:07:21.600
I think we've got, we've done this before where you've told me because I've said in the past,

841
01:07:21.600 --> 01:07:26.000
why do I feel like I have to rehash it? Why do I feel like I have to keep going there?

842
01:07:26.720 --> 01:07:33.840
And I I'm better now. I have a lot less negative self-talk. I am better now. So one of my comments

843
01:07:33.840 --> 01:07:39.280
in the community was, I feel like I'm showing up with a lot more love for myself and I'm showing

844
01:07:39.280 --> 01:07:48.000
up with a lot more self-worth and it's still not like, it's still maybe not that it's not working,

845
01:07:48.720 --> 01:07:53.760
but then we come back to this where I still have to be like mindful of

846
01:07:56.480 --> 01:08:00.080
myself. I don't even know how to say the right word, but there's somewhere where I'm getting

847
01:08:00.080 --> 01:08:08.400
kind of stuck because I'm, I'm, I'm doing it and I'm trying it. But, but I also feel like,

848
01:08:09.280 --> 01:08:12.800
thankfully I've come out of a place where I'm like, there are no good men. They all suck.

849
01:08:12.800 --> 01:08:19.200
They're all terrible. They're all, I, I'm not there anymore. You're not there. Yes. But I also

850
01:08:19.200 --> 01:08:26.960
have not experienced. I know that there are, right? Like, and yes, I get men to help me on

851
01:08:26.960 --> 01:08:32.479
the street and be nice. And I see the way, you know, just, just little, little tidbit,

852
01:08:32.479 --> 01:08:38.560
this man at my new job office found out I'm a believer and he literally started singing out

853
01:08:38.560 --> 01:08:42.399
in hymns. Like he started singing to me. And I just thought in that moment, like,

854
01:08:42.399 --> 01:08:46.720
what a beautiful picture for me. It was like, God telling me, look, I'm in this place here with you

855
01:08:46.720 --> 01:08:54.319
too. But so I get it. Like I was able to see a picture of like, wow, there are good godly men

856
01:08:54.319 --> 01:09:02.160
out there. Right. But what I feel is that in my dating experience, I have not yet experienced.

857
01:09:04.880 --> 01:09:15.680
Um, men that I can be less defensive with, and that I can be softer and feel safer with,

858
01:09:16.240 --> 01:09:22.399
even though I'm, I think this is the most aware I've ever been of like trying to be soft and

859
01:09:22.399 --> 01:09:30.479
trying to be feminine and trying to be, you know, gracious and not judgmental and not as direct

860
01:09:30.479 --> 01:09:34.880
because yeah, those come from my wounds, but they also come from my culture. And from like,

861
01:09:34.880 --> 01:09:41.040
I'm a New York city girl, you know, and I'm Latina. So forget it. I lived in South Texas for

862
01:09:41.040 --> 01:09:46.880
almost a total of eight years. And I got a lot of like, whoa, because I'm direct,

863
01:09:46.880 --> 01:09:53.920
you know, I got in trouble a lot at work, y'all. But, you know, and it's like, all right. I had

864
01:09:53.920 --> 01:09:57.440
a boss. She called me Jenny from the block. And I had to tell her to stop calling me that.

865
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:08.480
but so I I understand that there's a lot of hardness that I've had to take off

866
01:10:08.480 --> 01:10:13.400
and I am I'm taking off but then there's these little things like this where I'm

867
01:10:13.400 --> 01:10:18.920
like I'm communicating a boundary that I have as as softly as possible as

868
01:10:18.920 --> 01:10:24.080
directly as possible offering alternatives respecting that they don't

869
01:10:24.080 --> 01:10:28.440
agree with it not fighting back or telling them that they're stupid

870
01:10:28.440 --> 01:10:32.720
because they don't agree with my boundary but then I still find that like

871
01:10:32.720 --> 01:10:41.460
so I had two guys say yeah sure and then both just I got stood up twice for the

872
01:10:41.460 --> 01:10:47.200
for the video dates and it's like that I don't know if it's me still or is it

873
01:10:47.200 --> 01:10:53.180
just that these men are like I don't know she tough like I'm gonna we're

874
01:10:53.180 --> 01:10:57.520
gonna cuz I got two more people on our time but this is what I'm gonna tell you

875
01:10:57.520 --> 01:11:02.240
okay and we can unpack some more in the coming weeks as well just come in the

876
01:11:02.240 --> 01:11:05.560
app as well and we'll all unpack some more with you in the app as well but

877
01:11:05.560 --> 01:11:09.320
this is what I'm gonna share with you okay and you know I love you and I say

878
01:11:09.320 --> 01:11:15.880
this with so much love no do it 100% because I am literally experiencing this

879
01:11:15.880 --> 01:11:21.960
myself as well okay literally just walked through a lot of this as well

880
01:11:21.960 --> 01:11:24.020
you

881
01:11:25.520 --> 01:11:32.600
your boundaries I want you to really press into are these boundaries or are

882
01:11:32.600 --> 01:11:39.400
these walls I'm not asking you to let go of your boundaries but I am gonna ask

883
01:11:39.400 --> 01:11:45.440
that are these boundaries rooted in fear because if they're if they're rooted in

884
01:11:45.440 --> 01:11:50.240
fear then it's a wall it's not a boundary

885
01:11:50.960 --> 01:11:55.880
and I hear you saying like I'm better now

886
01:11:55.920 --> 01:12:02.280
yes you've come a long way Stephanie we're not denying that you have made so

887
01:12:02.280 --> 01:12:12.800
much growth but you're still holding on to one area you're still scared to let

888
01:12:12.800 --> 01:12:18.000
go of full surrender control and again that's what I'm sharing this out of love

889
01:12:18.000 --> 01:12:24.640
because I know I just feel like I want to see them show up I know and sometimes

890
01:12:24.640 --> 01:12:31.040
God is we have to literally surrender it all where you're gonna have to just let

891
01:12:31.040 --> 01:12:36.240
it all out because that's when God's gonna come in and he's gonna be able to

892
01:12:36.240 --> 01:12:41.640
reveal things that really truly need to get healed when we let all of those

893
01:12:41.640 --> 01:12:45.000
things down when we let all of those walls down and it doesn't mean that

894
01:12:45.000 --> 01:12:48.120
it's there's not gonna be times where it's gonna be you know it's gonna hurt

895
01:12:48.120 --> 01:12:53.600
okay I'm not gonna sit here and say like it's gonna be easy okay but remember it

896
01:12:53.600 --> 01:13:01.040
doesn't have to be easy it is going to be worth it it can be scary and I'm just

897
01:13:01.040 --> 01:13:05.200
sharing this from my own personal experience I am someone who what you

898
01:13:05.200 --> 01:13:08.720
know what there's a lot of things I can literally give over to the Lord but I'm

899
01:13:08.720 --> 01:13:12.720
like what I can't give this away can't give this away because if I give this

900
01:13:12.720 --> 01:13:16.560
away I don't know if I can trust you with it so that was gonna be my question

901
01:13:16.560 --> 01:13:24.160
to you do you believe that God has this perfect man for you that's going to

902
01:13:24.160 --> 01:13:31.360
protect you and love you and show up the way that you know God has created men do

903
01:13:31.360 --> 01:13:36.360
you trust God to bring that man for you

904
01:13:37.600 --> 01:13:43.680
and also let your walls down if well is he going to are you do you trust him

905
01:13:43.680 --> 01:13:52.760
enough to do it that you're willing to let go all of control over it that's not

906
01:13:52.760 --> 01:13:59.880
always easy I've literally have I'm saying this just I'm gonna be

907
01:13:59.920 --> 01:14:06.600
transparent with you ladies okay you know I had the season of singleness okay

908
01:14:06.600 --> 01:14:10.920
I had to walk through the same thing I had to let go of a lot of control in a

909
01:14:10.920 --> 01:14:18.680
lot of areas I'm still walking in that in marriage and blending family I wanted

910
01:14:18.680 --> 01:14:22.880
to literally do all of the healing for my husband and all the healing for my

911
01:14:22.880 --> 01:14:27.320
bonus children I wanted to control my new kids I want to control how my

912
01:14:27.320 --> 01:14:33.600
husband operates I wanted to like it had to look this certain way because

913
01:14:33.600 --> 01:14:36.920
I've got I'm a coach and I've been through this healing I've done all of

914
01:14:36.920 --> 01:14:45.200
this God I can't trust you with that because I already know because I was

915
01:14:45.200 --> 01:14:52.960
scared Lord God what if what if what if my daughter you know what if I really

916
01:14:53.240 --> 01:14:59.880
my daughter to you God and she has to go through some some tough stuff she's got

917
01:14:59.880 --> 01:15:01.880
a

918
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.880
really hurt, what if she gets herself in a really bad situation and I can't protect her, God?"

919
01:15:10.320 --> 01:15:13.360
But I'm like, but that means I'm not trusting God.

920
01:15:14.960 --> 01:15:19.200
I'm basically saying, God, I love my daughter and I love my husband more than you do.

921
01:15:20.560 --> 01:15:28.240
So do you trust yourself more than you trust God with your marriage and your spirit mate

922
01:15:28.240 --> 01:15:30.800
and your relationship and your healing?

923
01:15:34.480 --> 01:15:41.440
Do you believe that God is capable of protecting you more than you can protect yourself?

924
01:15:44.160 --> 01:15:48.080
It doesn't mean that you haven't gotten healing. It doesn't mean that you haven't

925
01:15:48.080 --> 01:15:53.600
grown, that you've worked through some things, but are there other areas

926
01:15:53.600 --> 01:16:03.120
of release and surrender? Is this the tipping point?

927
01:16:09.920 --> 01:16:13.280
Are these boundaries, boundaries? Are they walls?

928
01:16:13.280 --> 01:16:33.920
I love you, Stephanie. I do. And girl, you inspire me. I'm sure you inspire so many women

929
01:16:33.920 --> 01:16:41.360
in this community. You show up, you're authentic, you're transparent, you're real, you're raw,

930
01:16:41.360 --> 01:16:52.320
you're honest, you're vulnerable. Your growth and your vulnerability is going to help others

931
01:16:55.440 --> 01:17:06.320
and it's there for you and we're here for you. Thank you. So process that a little bit. I want

932
01:17:06.320 --> 01:17:12.000
you to come in, in the app. Okay. I'm going to walk this through with you. All right. We're

933
01:17:12.000 --> 01:17:15.040
going to, we're going to, and again, it's, we're just going to do it little by little.

934
01:17:15.680 --> 01:17:19.280
This is not something, if you're like me, I'm that person. Like, I just want to figure it out

935
01:17:19.280 --> 01:17:24.240
right now and get it all done. If you're like me, that's probably, that's probably how you're

936
01:17:24.240 --> 01:17:30.800
thinking. Long time for me, it's been a long time. No, you know, I haven't had a relationship in 15

937
01:17:30.800 --> 01:17:39.120
years and I'm in those years, you know, where it's like, I was 23 and I'm 37. Like,

938
01:17:40.320 --> 01:17:44.560
girl, I was right there with you. I didn't get like, literally my husband proposed to me on my

939
01:17:44.560 --> 01:17:55.120
40th birthday. I never been married before. My son was seven when I met my husband and I hadn't

940
01:17:55.120 --> 01:18:02.000
dated since my husband or my son's biological dad. So I get it. Like, I was just like, I'm

941
01:18:02.000 --> 01:18:05.840
running out of time. I'd never been married. I'm about to be 40. What am I going to do?

942
01:18:06.640 --> 01:18:15.440
So I get it. Like it's not too late, but what I will tell you is the longer you hold onto this

943
01:18:16.480 --> 01:18:23.920
and don't release and surrender it, that thing that you fear that breakthrough, it's just going

944
01:18:23.920 --> 01:18:30.560
to take longer. But when we truly like the thing that God can literally do in that surrender,

945
01:18:30.560 --> 01:18:39.920
the exhilaration that he can literally put on you and in your story, it's, I've seen it in this

946
01:18:39.920 --> 01:18:54.320
community. It literally comes down to supernatural surrender, giving it all to God.

947
01:18:56.160 --> 01:19:02.400
And I say it, and I know it is scary. I think most of these women, if not all of them,

948
01:19:03.200 --> 01:19:10.320
can literally say it's scary. They will agree. It is scary. I don't think there's a single person

949
01:19:10.320 --> 01:19:17.520
that says supernatural surrender is so easy. I think at some point, every single one of us

950
01:19:17.520 --> 01:19:27.520
has had to do the scary thing and completely surrender something to the Lord. But I do believe

951
01:19:27.520 --> 01:19:35.920
that everyone has the testimony that when they've done it, God is supernaturally exhilarated and

952
01:19:35.920 --> 01:19:45.280
shown up. And I believe that's what it's going to do for you. Thank you. All right. So come in the

953
01:19:45.280 --> 01:19:55.200
app. Let's unpack more. Spend some time with the Lord. Okay, babe. I love you, girl. Kelly and

954
01:19:55.200 --> 01:19:59.760
Preachy, thank you, ladies. And then we'll jump off the call. Anybody else?

955
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.640
Those questions definitely come in the app, all right?

956
01:20:03.640 --> 01:20:08.080
All right, Kelly, what's up?

957
01:20:08.080 --> 01:20:11.160
I have a question about the dating app.

958
01:20:11.160 --> 01:20:11.660
Yeah.

959
01:20:14.220 --> 01:20:18.880
I have been on Facebook dating app for a while now.

960
01:20:18.880 --> 01:20:26.280
And talked, or not talked, but texted back and forth

961
01:20:26.280 --> 01:20:28.120
with a couple of people.

962
01:20:28.120 --> 01:20:32.000
But have never been asked out on a date.

963
01:20:32.000 --> 01:20:39.880
And just wondering, like, I don't think that I'm ugly,

964
01:20:39.880 --> 01:20:45.160
and I don't think that I'm like, I just

965
01:20:45.160 --> 01:20:47.360
don't know what the problem is.

966
01:20:47.360 --> 01:20:49.000
OK.

967
01:20:49.000 --> 01:20:51.200
So when you're chatting with people,

968
01:20:51.200 --> 01:20:54.320
how long are you chatting with them?

969
01:20:54.320 --> 01:20:54.920
Not long.

970
01:20:55.480 --> 01:20:58.640
Just like, they'll say, hey.

971
01:20:58.640 --> 01:21:00.640
And I'll say, hi.

972
01:21:00.640 --> 01:21:03.480
And then sometimes that's it.

973
01:21:03.480 --> 01:21:07.920
OK, so if they're saying hey, and you're just saying hi,

974
01:21:07.920 --> 01:21:12.160
are you asking them questions?

975
01:21:12.160 --> 01:21:15.440
No, because I'm thinking that, like, OK.

976
01:21:15.440 --> 01:21:18.680
So that's what I want you working on.

977
01:21:18.680 --> 01:21:22.480
I want you starting to work on engaging in that conversation.

978
01:21:22.480 --> 01:21:29.920
So what I want to share, and this is for all of you ladies,

979
01:21:29.920 --> 01:21:33.200
men sometimes need a little help.

980
01:21:33.200 --> 01:21:35.600
I know we have this idea like, well,

981
01:21:35.600 --> 01:21:38.200
the men are supposed to lead, right?

982
01:21:38.200 --> 01:21:39.880
We got this, like, men are leading.

983
01:21:39.880 --> 01:21:42.000
They're supposed to just do this.

984
01:21:42.000 --> 01:21:45.760
But what I will say, it doesn't mean that they, yes,

985
01:21:45.760 --> 01:21:49.600
they are naturally masculine, supposed to lead.

986
01:21:49.600 --> 01:21:55.160
But it doesn't mean that we can't show up and initiate

987
01:21:55.160 --> 01:21:58.000
and show that we're interested.

988
01:21:58.000 --> 01:21:59.680
We want to show interest.

989
01:21:59.680 --> 01:22:02.320
They want to see that we're interested as well.

990
01:22:02.320 --> 01:22:09.680
They want to see, like, that if they engage with us,

991
01:22:09.680 --> 01:22:12.680
that we're going to reciprocate, that we're going to receive it,

992
01:22:12.680 --> 01:22:15.000
and then we're going to continue it.

993
01:22:15.000 --> 01:22:20.560
They sometimes want to see, like, OK, I initiated the hey.

994
01:22:20.560 --> 01:22:23.200
Is she interested in me?

995
01:22:23.200 --> 01:22:24.680
Is she going to engage with me?

996
01:22:24.680 --> 01:22:28.320
Is she going to ask me questions?

997
01:22:28.320 --> 01:22:31.680
So if we start there, get them talking.

998
01:22:31.680 --> 01:22:33.960
Get them asking questions.

999
01:22:33.960 --> 01:22:39.280
Be open, ladies, to the idea that some men do struggle

1000
01:22:39.280 --> 01:22:43.240
with asking questions too.

1001
01:22:43.240 --> 01:22:45.720
And I know some of you have experienced, probably a lot

1002
01:22:45.720 --> 01:22:49.720
of you, that you're the one that's asking all the questions

1003
01:22:49.720 --> 01:22:51.400
and they're not responding.

1004
01:22:51.400 --> 01:22:52.760
That happens too.

1005
01:22:52.760 --> 01:22:55.720
Sometimes men are just not great on the texting

1006
01:22:55.720 --> 01:22:57.240
and the communicating that way.

1007
01:22:57.240 --> 01:22:58.680
Sometimes when they're on the phone,

1008
01:22:58.680 --> 01:23:00.120
they're not even that great.

1009
01:23:00.120 --> 01:23:02.360
Some of them need a little time to warm up to you.

1010
01:23:02.360 --> 01:23:07.800
My husband, he wasn't so much like that with me,

1011
01:23:07.800 --> 01:23:10.320
but he's like that with a lot of people.

1012
01:23:10.320 --> 01:23:16.040
He's such an observer that he will just kind of sit back.

1013
01:23:16.040 --> 01:23:17.320
He doesn't really engage.

1014
01:23:17.320 --> 01:23:20.920
Like, he's not the social one in our relationship.

1015
01:23:20.920 --> 01:23:22.400
Let's just say it that way.

1016
01:23:22.400 --> 01:23:26.440
When we go out with couples, I'm the one

1017
01:23:26.440 --> 01:23:29.320
that's, like, getting the couples to come out.

1018
01:23:29.320 --> 01:23:32.200
Like, hey, honey, let's go get together with this couple.

1019
01:23:32.200 --> 01:23:35.560
And he kind of just chills because he's not like,

1020
01:23:35.560 --> 01:23:38.400
it's me with the wife that's a friend.

1021
01:23:38.400 --> 01:23:41.160
And I'm like, OK, honey, I need you to get to know this guy

1022
01:23:41.160 --> 01:23:47.080
because he's just not really that type of person.

1023
01:23:47.080 --> 01:23:49.840
He's a salesman, so he's on the phone.

1024
01:23:49.840 --> 01:23:52.040
He's talking to people all the time.

1025
01:23:52.040 --> 01:23:58.000
So by the time that he's in his own element, personal space,

1026
01:23:58.000 --> 01:24:00.040
he's just like, I'm done.

1027
01:24:00.040 --> 01:24:06.040
So I want you to remember that as you're starting off

1028
01:24:06.040 --> 01:24:12.440
with the messaging, don't be afraid to initiate conversation

1029
01:24:12.440 --> 01:24:14.600
and asking questions.

1030
01:24:14.600 --> 01:24:17.840
And then when you get a couple conversations going back

1031
01:24:17.840 --> 01:24:20.360
and forth, like a couple exchanges,

1032
01:24:20.360 --> 01:24:23.000
this is when we say drop the hanky.

1033
01:24:23.000 --> 01:24:26.320
Offer up the, hey, would you like to get together sometime?

1034
01:24:26.320 --> 01:24:27.320
Let's go grab coffee.

1035
01:24:27.320 --> 01:24:29.440
Let's go for a walk.

1036
01:24:29.440 --> 01:24:31.240
Let's go to the farmer's market.

1037
01:24:31.240 --> 01:24:32.440
Let's go bowling.

1038
01:24:32.440 --> 01:24:35.760
Whatever it is that you might find interest in doing,

1039
01:24:35.760 --> 01:24:38.240
would you be open to that?

1040
01:24:38.240 --> 01:24:41.880
Like, initiate the get together.

1041
01:24:41.880 --> 01:24:47.000
Some men naturally will do that, but not all of them.

1042
01:24:47.000 --> 01:24:49.920
I will say there's probably an equal balance.

1043
01:24:49.920 --> 01:24:53.240
If not, maybe more women typically

1044
01:24:53.240 --> 01:24:58.960
have to kind of initiate that first, hey, let's get together.

1045
01:24:58.960 --> 01:25:01.040
I mean, I know.

1046
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:07.840
Again, we want the men to lead, but they need to feel a little bit of courage that,

1047
01:25:07.840 --> 01:25:14.240
hey, I'm not going to get rejected. And so I want to encourage you to kind of step out

1048
01:25:14.240 --> 01:25:21.120
and just if they say, hey, engage in the conversation. If you've had a couple exchanges

1049
01:25:21.120 --> 01:25:28.800
with them, don't hesitate to say, hey, I've enjoyed having a couple back and forth conversations with

1050
01:25:28.800 --> 01:25:35.360
you. Why don't we jump on a video call or go grab coffee sometime? Would you be available

1051
01:25:35.360 --> 01:25:42.560
anytime this weekend? And then say which day works best for you. And then let them initiate

1052
01:25:42.560 --> 01:25:47.840
that. And then once you get that going, then you're going to, again, let them know, hey,

1053
01:25:47.840 --> 01:25:52.880
I had a really nice time. I would love to do that again. And then we're hoping that then

1054
01:25:53.520 --> 01:25:58.400
by the second date, they're going to initiate. We want the reciprocation, but sometimes

1055
01:25:58.400 --> 01:26:03.120
we've got to give a little and kind of risk a little bit in order to get a return.

1056
01:26:04.480 --> 01:26:08.480
Does that make sense? Yeah. How's that land? How does that make you feel?

1057
01:26:10.720 --> 01:26:17.280
Um, it's just been, um, my husband passed away and it's just been a really long. So Facebook

1058
01:26:17.280 --> 01:26:27.040
wasn't even phones weren't even when we knew that. Yes. So it's like, how long ago did your

1059
01:26:27.760 --> 01:26:34.880
husband pass away? Uh, May 12th of 22. Okay. So it's only been a couple of years.

1060
01:26:36.800 --> 01:26:46.080
Yeah. I'm sorry. Thank you. Yeah. He was a firefighter. He was a great guy. He passed

1061
01:26:46.080 --> 01:26:55.840
away in duty. So, yeah. Do you have anyone, um, do you, I mean, there's a lot of women here in

1062
01:26:55.840 --> 01:27:00.640
our community that are widows as well. Have you been able to connect with any of them?

1063
01:27:02.000 --> 01:27:09.120
Um, you know, uh, there's been some breakout sessions that I had that both of the women

1064
01:27:09.120 --> 01:27:15.200
have been widows. So it's good. Yeah, definitely connect here. We have, I mean, we have so many,

1065
01:27:15.840 --> 01:27:22.480
you know, my husband was even a widow as well. So, you know, it's, it's, it happens, you know,

1066
01:27:22.480 --> 01:27:32.640
and so we have several, several women. So that, that alone, you'll have certain experiences. So

1067
01:27:32.640 --> 01:27:38.880
it's an, it's a new season for you. So give yourself the grace to walk through this and

1068
01:27:38.880 --> 01:27:46.400
don't hesitate to, to be vulnerable and share with us, like what you're experiencing. If you're

1069
01:27:46.400 --> 01:27:52.320
feeling grief, you can share that with us. There's nothing wrong with that. You know, if you,

1070
01:27:52.320 --> 01:27:58.160
you feel sadness or you feel, you know, some, I'm not sure if I'm ready or, you know, this happened

1071
01:27:58.160 --> 01:28:02.160
and I don't know what to do here, or, you know, I had a really great experience and maybe I'm

1072
01:28:02.160 --> 01:28:09.280
kind of feeling guilty. Let us know. There's nothing wrong with what you're, what you're

1073
01:28:09.280 --> 01:28:15.520
feeling and what you're going through. And as you open up and share that, like we're here to meet

1074
01:28:15.520 --> 01:28:22.800
you where you're at and that's where healing will come. Thank you. You are welcome. Thank you so

1075
01:28:22.800 --> 01:28:29.440
much, Kelly. I'm so happy that you're here with us. All right, Preeti, you're next. And then I'm

1076
01:28:29.440 --> 01:28:34.560
going to have to end our call because we are up on time. How are you? So good to see you. I know

1077
01:28:34.560 --> 01:28:38.480
you've come a couple of times and we haven't gotten to your, your question, so I'm glad

1078
01:28:38.480 --> 01:28:45.040
we're able to do that today. How are you? I'm well, and yourself? Good. Okay. I'll try and

1079
01:28:45.040 --> 01:28:53.120
make it very quick. My question is, as I'm navigating the apps, one of the common questions

1080
01:28:53.120 --> 01:28:59.200
that I get asked from the other side is like, what are you looking for? And it's literally like

1081
01:28:59.200 --> 01:29:07.440
the first sentence, like not even like one day, two day later. And so I'm like, well, like this is

1082
01:29:07.440 --> 01:29:13.440
kind of nicer to talk in person. But since you ask, I'm looking at, I mean, I'm looking for a

1083
01:29:13.440 --> 01:29:20.160
marriage minded person. And so like looking for something serious to that, sometimes I get like,

1084
01:29:20.160 --> 01:29:26.480
oh, like, you know, I mean, like, you're rushing into things. And like, I tell them that, hey,

1085
01:29:26.480 --> 01:29:31.200
like, I get it that I'm not like, we're not getting married tomorrow. But I need that

1086
01:29:31.200 --> 01:29:36.800
intention. Like if you're looking, because like, I'm from Canada, right? And like, we allow,

1087
01:29:37.440 --> 01:29:44.800
like, like co locating in the same like location as you get same spousal rights, right. And so

1088
01:29:44.800 --> 01:29:50.320
like, it's very common, like, like lots, like lots of people just like don't marry and live

1089
01:29:50.320 --> 01:29:54.240
together. Right. And so it's legally, like legally, you have the same rights anywhere.

1090
01:29:56.080 --> 01:29:59.920
And so then like, like, then they pushed me a little

1091
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.200
but more and then I have to be like, okay, maybe this will help you that I'm not looking

1092
01:30:04.200 --> 01:30:11.420
for like, we also I also see a trend of ethically non monogamous a lot like I want to say seven

1093
01:30:11.420 --> 01:30:17.560
out of 10, like profiles that get thrown at me are that and so like, even when they don't

1094
01:30:17.560 --> 01:30:23.640
say it, I just like to clarify, I'm not, you know, I'm not looking for ethically non monogamous

1095
01:30:23.640 --> 01:30:29.480
or friends with benefits or one night stands. So like I was reflecting on.

1096
01:30:29.480 --> 01:30:33.840
So you're saying that seven out of 10 of the profiles that are coming at you or people

1097
01:30:33.840 --> 01:30:39.440
that are liking you are saying that they don't want to be monogamous. Yeah. So can you just

1098
01:30:39.440 --> 01:30:44.680
like deny them? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yes. Yes. I totally like that's a filter for

1099
01:30:44.680 --> 01:30:51.080
me. Okay, good. I do it. But some people are not honest about it. Right. And so I just

1100
01:30:51.080 --> 01:30:52.080
like to clarify.

1101
01:30:53.080 --> 01:30:59.520
Can I ask you a question on your profile? What will what apps are you using? Bumble

1102
01:30:59.520 --> 01:31:05.120
and hinge? Okay, Bumble and hinge. And I think on those, you can like you give like a little

1103
01:31:05.120 --> 01:31:11.600
you have a little graph on that. Do you communicate like what qualities and characteristics that

1104
01:31:11.600 --> 01:31:16.920
you're looking for? Yes. And I did show it to I did post it and you guys said this was

1105
01:31:16.920 --> 01:31:22.000
good. Yeah. So I'll go look at that too. Okay. I mean, I haven't done it recently. I can.

1106
01:31:22.000 --> 01:31:27.400
I can probably go back and search. Okay, I'll go. I mean, there's very limited text.

1107
01:31:27.400 --> 01:31:31.880
So like, I like, you know, I don't go into too much things. But I do tell them like,

1108
01:31:31.880 --> 01:31:37.280
you know, this is what I'm looking for more broadly. So anyway, I tell them and then people

1109
01:31:37.280 --> 01:31:43.200
just like ghost me when I say these things, that I'm not looking for ethically non monogamous.

1110
01:31:43.200 --> 01:31:47.680
I'm not looking for friends with benefits. And I'm not looking for one night stands.

1111
01:31:47.680 --> 01:31:51.680
And I was just reflecting because you were giving feedback to another sister that like

1112
01:31:52.360 --> 01:31:57.720
you shouldn't come across too hard, like the delivery. Yeah, the how, but I feel like without

1113
01:31:57.720 --> 01:32:01.800
any context, and without any opposition, if a guy asked me, like, what are you looking

1114
01:32:01.800 --> 01:32:06.680
for? And I say this, like that I'm looking for marriage minded, but they're still like

1115
01:32:06.680 --> 01:32:10.800
they're like, not like they're like, oh, so like, you're not interested in dating. And

1116
01:32:10.800 --> 01:32:16.200
I'm like, No, no, I am. But okay, so this, so let's do it this way. Say, I'm looking

1117
01:32:16.200 --> 01:32:22.480
for I'm looking at getting to know someone in a date, like I'm looking, I'm looking to

1118
01:32:22.480 --> 01:32:30.280
date that will lead to long term marriage minded relationship. Okay. Okay. So then that

1119
01:32:30.280 --> 01:32:34.800
way you're covering like, hey, I'm looking to date someone that's going to lead to this.

1120
01:32:34.800 --> 01:32:40.880
Yes. So then that way, it's not like marriage minded that. Yeah, like, y'all, men hear the

1121
01:32:40.880 --> 01:32:49.080
word marriage, and it's like, freak out. You know, like, y'all. Before it was called

1122
01:32:49.080 --> 01:32:55.760
last year single, I don't know if any of you know this. Um, so when I joined the community,

1123
01:32:55.760 --> 01:33:04.080
it was called married in 12 months or less. And that's the name of Jackie's book, right?

1124
01:33:04.080 --> 01:33:11.400
Yeah. And that was the name of our community. And so when she's trying to, like, you know,

1125
01:33:11.400 --> 01:33:16.760
we were building the community, like it originally was women first. And so then we started the

1126
01:33:16.760 --> 01:33:21.680
men's program. And so when it's called married in 12 months or less, yeah, getting men to

1127
01:33:21.680 --> 01:33:29.480
sign up for that. Yeah. But I can tell you that, like, whenever I've tried to say this,

1128
01:33:29.480 --> 01:33:37.640
I just get ghosted. Like, I just get ghosted. And so what are what, when you get ghosted,

1129
01:33:37.640 --> 01:33:43.920
what's happening inside of you? I mean, I feel rejected. Okay, so that's what I want

1130
01:33:43.920 --> 01:33:58.280
you to focus on. Okay. It's that rejection. Okay. What's that rooted in? Okay, because

1131
01:33:58.280 --> 01:34:02.880
one thing that Jackie shared with us a long time ago, and I loved it when I was able to

1132
01:34:02.880 --> 01:34:08.160
put this in perspective, because I had that same feeling, like, am I not good enough?

1133
01:34:08.160 --> 01:34:11.600
Like why are these guys turning down? I mean, I would go on, I can't, y'all, I can't even

1134
01:34:11.600 --> 01:34:16.840
tell you how many like first dates I had been on. I mean, my husband still, I told my husband

1135
01:34:16.840 --> 01:34:20.720
this and he's like, what do you mean? You, you never really got to a second date. I'm

1136
01:34:20.720 --> 01:34:27.720
like, I literally hardly ever got to a second date with guys. And he's like, how? I'm like,

1137
01:34:27.720 --> 01:34:32.800
I don't know. Like guys just, I freaked him out. I don't know what it is. Like, I don't

1138
01:34:32.800 --> 01:34:38.880
know if I was intimidating. I really have no clue. Um, and I started literally second

1139
01:34:38.880 --> 01:34:45.680
guessing myself and it was, it was like, I felt rejected. Like what's wrong with me?

1140
01:34:45.680 --> 01:34:51.520
And so that ghosting thing, like what? I thought we had a great conversation. I thought things

1141
01:34:51.520 --> 01:34:58.720
were going great. Like why all of a sudden did, do I not hear from you? Um, and so Jackie

1142
01:34:58.720 --> 01:34:59.960
used to call this.

1143
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:10.800
like instead of it calling it ghosting, we got holy ghosted, like that's God

1144
01:35:10.800 --> 01:35:16.200
protection, like God's like shutting the door before we even need to even like

1145
01:35:16.200 --> 01:35:21.640
put ourselves in a situation that God's like, you know what, it's okay that a guy

1146
01:35:21.640 --> 01:35:29.600
bows himself out. If a guy is wanting to literally not honor and say hey,

1147
01:35:29.600 --> 01:35:36.320
I appreciate the conversation with you, I unfortunately I'm gonna go in a

1148
01:35:36.320 --> 01:35:40.400
different direction or something came up and I'm gonna you know date somebody

1149
01:35:40.400 --> 01:35:45.440
else or I'm looking for something else and you know whatever or maybe they're a

1150
01:35:45.440 --> 01:35:52.960
scammer and then they realize they not gonna scam you so they just give up.

1151
01:35:52.960 --> 01:36:03.520
We're thankful that they bow out and so it really is like

1152
01:36:03.520 --> 01:36:08.640
check your heart and let's really work on where is that rejection coming from,

1153
01:36:08.640 --> 01:36:15.000
where does that feeling coming from and once you can release and know like that

1154
01:36:15.000 --> 01:36:20.120
has nothing to do with me and who I am and who God says I am and my worth and

1155
01:36:20.120 --> 01:36:27.160
my value because my husband is going to see me cherished and valued and he's

1156
01:36:27.160 --> 01:36:33.160
gonna see what I like what I have to offer and he's like he's gonna see a

1157
01:36:33.160 --> 01:36:37.560
good thing and he's gonna be like that that woman I'm gonna marry her and she's

1158
01:36:37.560 --> 01:36:43.280
mine and he's gonna give me that. And in my brain I know that but it kind of

1159
01:36:43.280 --> 01:36:52.320
stings. It's the heart. The mind and the heart that like 17 inch and that's

1160
01:36:52.320 --> 01:36:57.480
where it's because something in our heart that still needs some healing yeah

1161
01:36:57.480 --> 01:37:02.480
that's where you know spend some time with Holy Spirit and asking okay look

1162
01:37:02.480 --> 01:37:09.080
when did I first feel this rejection? When in my past did I feel this? Lord help

1163
01:37:09.080 --> 01:37:14.880
me see and what do you want to show me? What got rooted? What lie did I start

1164
01:37:14.880 --> 01:37:22.320
believing? And Lord what was the truth? And once we can be replacing that truth

1165
01:37:22.320 --> 01:37:27.320
now anytime that that feeling comes up we've got the truth to sit there and

1166
01:37:27.320 --> 01:37:31.240
like when that lie wants to creep in because ladies that lie will creep in

1167
01:37:31.240 --> 01:37:35.840
just because we recognize the lie and we know the truth now doesn't mean that

1168
01:37:35.880 --> 01:37:43.280
Satan's not gonna come and try to get us to try to believe that lie again like

1169
01:37:43.280 --> 01:37:48.560
oh you can't you can't you know you aren't worth anything that's why that

1170
01:37:48.560 --> 01:37:53.480
guy decided no that that will creep back in but then you'd be like no I know your

1171
01:37:53.480 --> 01:38:02.080
tricks and this is what God says this is the truth and I'm fighting that lie with

1172
01:38:02.080 --> 01:38:07.200
God's truth oh I have to do that all the time yeah I literally have to say

1173
01:38:07.200 --> 01:38:11.200
affirmations to myself but I just wanted to understand like because you were

1174
01:38:11.200 --> 01:38:16.720
telling another sister that we can come across like yeah strong like I just

1175
01:38:16.720 --> 01:38:20.960
wanted to check if like when I'm saying that I'm not looking for these three

1176
01:38:20.960 --> 01:38:26.400
things like is it good to is it good to clarify that because like we are kind of

1177
01:38:26.400 --> 01:38:31.680
counterculture right like I mean it really is it seems like that here in

1178
01:38:31.680 --> 01:38:35.040
the online world because the norm is yeah I didn't even realize in Canada

1179
01:38:35.040 --> 01:38:39.640
like y'all can co-exist and still get the same benefits of being married that

1180
01:38:39.640 --> 01:38:48.560
yes exactly why that's happening because then what's there's really no value to

1181
01:38:48.560 --> 01:38:52.040
marriage at that point that people fit in that and honestly that's just that's

1182
01:38:52.040 --> 01:38:57.120
that's what Satan is literally trying to do mm-hmm trying to literally make

1183
01:38:57.120 --> 01:39:04.800
marriage not be a thing exactly perfect image of God it's not it's not just we

1184
01:39:04.800 --> 01:39:08.880
don't get married just because we get the the financial benefit no it's a

1185
01:39:08.880 --> 01:39:15.280
covenant it is a coming together it is a to become one it is a perfect image of

1186
01:39:15.280 --> 01:39:20.960
God it is about it's marriage and family was literally God's design in the garden

1187
01:39:21.000 --> 01:39:31.480
marriage and raising family I just heard something today that it was when Adam

1188
01:39:31.480 --> 01:39:40.720
and Eve created family that is when Satan entered the garden that's what

1189
01:39:40.720 --> 01:39:49.160
entered the garden as soon as there was a threat to be able to pass down

1190
01:39:51.120 --> 01:39:56.720
this perfect image of God and pass down the beliefs and all like that's when

1191
01:39:56.720 --> 01:40:01.200
Satan was like oh now there's a threat

1192
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:06.560
I got to come in and I got to put doubt in and I got to, you know, I got to distort everything.

1193
01:40:06.560 --> 01:40:15.080
So we've, we've marriage, like God's bringing marriage back in.

1194
01:40:15.080 --> 01:40:17.480
That's what we're here for.

1195
01:40:17.480 --> 01:40:22.400
That's why I believe, you know, that's why I, that's why I'm here even, you know, that's

1196
01:40:22.400 --> 01:40:28.820
why I feel honored and blessed to get to coach you all because this community blessed me

1197
01:40:29.100 --> 01:40:30.100
so abundantly.

1198
01:40:30.100 --> 01:40:31.540
I wouldn't, I wouldn't be married.

1199
01:40:31.540 --> 01:40:38.300
I wouldn't be here where I'm at if I didn't have this community and I believe what God

1200
01:40:38.300 --> 01:40:43.700
is doing here in this community through Jackie, through all of the coaching here and in other

1201
01:40:43.700 --> 01:40:44.700
ministries too.

1202
01:40:44.700 --> 01:40:49.600
Like this is not just a thing that's happening here with last year's single, it's happening

1203
01:40:49.600 --> 01:40:50.740
all over.

1204
01:40:50.740 --> 01:40:58.340
And so, you know, God's God's moving and I'm excited and happy to be a part of it.

1205
01:40:58.340 --> 01:41:03.500
And I'm glad you all are a part of it too, because your marriages and your love stories

1206
01:41:03.500 --> 01:41:09.860
are going to impact the kingdom and be a great testimony of what God is going to do.

1207
01:41:09.860 --> 01:41:14.140
And so it's, it's going to be awesome, y'all.

1208
01:41:14.140 --> 01:41:15.620
I just can't wait.

1209
01:41:15.620 --> 01:41:19.740
So, all right, ladies, it was a pleasure.

1210
01:41:19.740 --> 01:41:20.740
Thank you so much.

1211
01:41:20.740 --> 01:41:23.940
Continue to share in the app.

1212
01:41:23.940 --> 01:41:27.660
And I will see you all next week and Ebony will be on tonight.

1213
01:41:27.660 --> 01:41:32.300
Okay, ladies, have a wonderful rest of your day and I'll see you all later.

1214
01:41:32.300 --> 01:41:33.300
Thank you.

1215
01:41:33.300 --> 01:41:34.420
You're welcome.