WEBVTT

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Awesome. Welcome to men's heart check in Monday, February 9th, 2026. Good to see you guys here.

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God bless y'all. Um, so I've asked you to sort of start putting stuff in the chat there.

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And I'm just going to start at the top here. Oh, that's you, David. I see you iPhone working

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on stuff. All right. Got you. Uh, Kevin, just finished week one. Congratulations, Kevin.

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Awesome. Good on you. Finish your week of one, getting through the material and, um,

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and just know it's okay to take your time. If you have to take your time. Um, you know,

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the idea is to not rush through, but to actually complete and have a understanding, have breakthrough,

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revelation, um, get some healing, get some, um, get some things released, uh, you know,

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especially in week three through forgiveness. And so it's really good. So glad you're finishing

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week one, uh, Stefan, this is, uh, your final section. Yeah. I know you're going to join the

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married group. So that's awesome. Praise God for you. Thank you for that. Congratulations.

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And you're making it through and onto your, onto your, the next phase, man. It's exciting.

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We're happy for you. And we're celebrating that with you. Um, Andy got through an argument with

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your girlfriend and it turned out actually very good in the end. That's awesome. This is, um,

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I'm sorry, I forget her name. So what's your, what's her name again?

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Jal. Jal. Okay. Awesome. So glad that's awesome. And, um, I noticed that you didn't say that you

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won or she won, but that it turned out good. So that's all that's that is good. I will say that.

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That's awesome. Powerful. Christopher, um, just finished hard work. Part three,

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starting on really being impacted by some other lies believed and sins that have struggled with.

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One thing that's impacted me is how on one hand it could be arrogant, prideful,

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and my judgment, others yet on the opposite side of things, I'm fairly

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youth. This is like a thought, maybe is that what it is like fairly useless to the kingdom.

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Yeah. Well, I just did like on the one hand, I just completely on myself. I don't have any

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pride in myself or my useless, my useful skills. Obviously arrogant and prideful towards others

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and judgment. But then you wouldn't look at yourself. You're like, I have like absolutely

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no confidence or pride. Like I'm just like, okay, got it. And then others are better equipped for

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relationships, ministry, et cetera. Okay. Kevin identified some heart wounds. Awesome.

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That's good stuff. And we're allowing again in phase one or week one, week two, especially

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we're allowing those things to organically or spiritually come to the surface.

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We're not trying to dig for stuff. We're not trying to like uncover things, but

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there's some things that came to the surface and heartburn. So that's good. Identify those Thomas.

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I love that personal email inbox down to zero, bro. That's awesome. And living with emotion.

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Do you have a new like email protocol or software that's helping you do that or no?

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I'm going through the getting things done workbook that we've said some of us have been

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talking about. And so it's good. My personal living space is clean for the first time in my

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adult life. And yeah, it's great. My personal emails, there were tens of thousands of them. So

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it's good to have all those gone. No software help. And then Outlook for work, I'm down 22,000

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to around like 9,500 and getting down towards zero there as well, which I'm really, really

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grateful for. I feel like I'm coming out of debt to the future and being able to live present.

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That's, you know, I mean, these, this tech stuff really controls and drives our life. And so that's

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like a huge important step. I'm loving the beard, by the way. Oh, thanks. That's cool. I like it.

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Yeah, that's good. I wish I could do that. I can't I can't grow it in that thick. So I can't do that.

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But I'm jealous of people who could just kind of like overnight to there it is. So I love it.

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I just feel like I've been in step with the Lord this season, but taking things slow,

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spending all the time with him feeling strong. Need to be with someone right now feeling full

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with the Lord also chatting here and there with women I've connected with good kids keep that

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door open.

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This is David Wright.

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Working on a person through hardship and to worship.

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Also struggle with disassociation.

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I have working on that I feel most people I have met

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are two or three.

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OK, that's a lot.

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I think in one sentence there's kind of shorthand.

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I think I understand what that means.

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Really struggling with moving forward, reach out to someone.

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I keep seeing potential in women,

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getting a plan together for finances,

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rejecting lives that I believe too long,

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breaking out of poverty spirit.

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Cool.

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And then the men's spirit group.

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I like it.

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Thanks, Chris.

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It's awesome.

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Christopher, I don't know that I've met you.

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Maybe I don't know if I've not just been on a call with you

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at this point.

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I went to this last week.

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Week three.

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Yeah, I'm usually driving though.

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So this is my office now.

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That's what it is.

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OK.

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I got it.

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Sorry, bro.

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No, it's fine.

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This is the reason I don't have a girlfriend,

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is all this back here.

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OK.

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OK, good, good.

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All right, that's cool.

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All right, good, guys.

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Hey, Christopher, DeLuca, and Kenton,

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if you want to put in the chat, we were just putting in either

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something we're working on, something

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we're kind of dealing with, working on right now,

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a win, like recent win, or those

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that are doing the hard work.

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If there's something that's kind of stood out

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to you doing the hard work and things

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you're working on in that process,

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you can mention that in the chat.

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So if you guys want to put something in the chat

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there for that, that'd be awesome.

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So good stuff.

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All right.

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OK, who wants to get into something right now?

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I will mention, well, I'll mention that later.

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Who wants to start on their thing

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and kind of get into what's going on with them?

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Who wants to share?

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Don't all start at once.

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This is your time, not my time.

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I can share if you want.

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Go ahead.

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I mean, I don't, yeah, just to elaborate,

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I guess, on what I wrote, yeah, I just

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feel like I'm in a good place right now.

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I don't, like, six months or so into being widowed,

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the thought of being alone for another year,

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or even another six months, just seemed really hard

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to even imagine, like, getting through another six months,

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how it was.

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But yeah, I just feel like the Lord has really

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worked on me and in me over this time.

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And I just feel like I was kind of resisting getting used

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to being on my own.

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And I didn't want that to become a new normal

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and just get so used to doing life with only one arm.

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If you get an arm cut off, like, you

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can get used to living life with one arm.

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So I was kind of resisting that.

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But I don't feel like, like, I feel at peace.

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I feel like God, I feel like I've found my footing,

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as far as knowing, like, I know there's definitely

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options out there.

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And it's not about finding, I don't think it's going to be,

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I don't see it being hard to find a really good woman.

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It's just a matter of just the right one,

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just the right one at the right time.

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So yeah.

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Yeah.

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No, I mean, you are still, obviously, that's very,

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like, still raw, still, you know,

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that's very near to that situation in your life

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coming.

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Yeah, it'll be two years, actually.

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It'll be two years this month.

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Yeah.

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And no, I mean, you've been through it.

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I can't imagine what you've been through in that regard.

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But yeah, I, you know, that was one of the prayer,

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that was a prayer that I prayed.

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And I think I've shared this before.

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You know, so it's like, Lord, I don't want to be alone.

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But at the same time, you know, I've got a lot at stake here.

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I've got kids, I've got all these things.

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It's got to be a person.

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And yeah, I believe, I mean, definitely,

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and I share this all the time, like, you know,

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the odds are definitely in your favor, for sure.

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Because look, there is probably one man to every nine women

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that are marriage-minded.

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And I don't mean just in this program.

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I like meaning that's probably.

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probably like that out in the wild, so to speak.

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Because, you know, women are constantly looking for like,

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where are the good men at?

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Where's the good guys at?

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You know, like, and they have high standards, of course.

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And usually their list is pretty long

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and it looks more like a perfect man.

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And we get that.

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But the other reality is, is that we all know this,

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is that there's no perfect man.

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So we're not looking for perfect men.

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And so you definitely have odds in your favor, for sure.

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And so-

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Why is that?

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Why are there so few men, it seems,

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compared to women out there?

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I mean, we've said it a lot in this community.

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I mean, we really are experiencing,

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I think in our culture today,

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we're experiencing a crisis in masculinity.

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I know it sounds cliche to say that there is no war,

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but I mean, it's not that we need a war.

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I'm not saying we need war.

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I'm just saying that men,

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our intuitive nature is to respond to a call of need,

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of duty, of service, of like, we need you, you know?

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And so if there's not an overall demand for like,

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hey, you know, like in a big picture sort of thing,

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we've had several decades, many decades,

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of the sort of like devaluing of the masculine.

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We've had that media going on and like a broken record,

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like men are stupid, men are losers, you know?

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Men are like, you know, so there's that whole situation,

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the battle of the sexes sort of thing.

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You have literally the enemy of your soul

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working against the, not only the family unit,

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but the thing that I think really gravitates

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and holds the family unit together is the strong man.

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Not to say that a woman doesn't play her part,

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the wife doesn't play a part,

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the mother doesn't play her part

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in terms of being the glue for her family,

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but I'm just saying that more so than a strong woman

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trying to struggle to hold all things together,

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the better just sort of trumped card to that

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is the strong man who is there to keep that strength,

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to keep that shell over that, right?

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Yeah.

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Like, I mean, like you give the old saying,

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like, you know, you give a woman a house

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and she'll make it a home.

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Right.

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And so, but if the man is not there to give the house,

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to give the structure, to give the,

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then there's no home to be had.

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Right.

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So, I mean, it's just, I mean, yeah,

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it's a crisis right now, it really is.

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And then when men don't have a purpose,

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when men don't have a strong calling to ascend to,

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then they find themselves in a way to be

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medicated in their pain, in their hurt, in their trauma,

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where we have an entire generation of traumatized people,

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and we have so many things to distract us.

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So combination of all of those things,

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that's just my opinion, I'm spitballing here,

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but all of these factors contribute to,

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and a couple of decades, several decades,

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many decades of environment coming to a head

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where masculinity is just in a critical crisis mode.

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Yeah.

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This is where we need good men,

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not to just be good themselves and hold their position,

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but we also need good men to rise up

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and to affect other good men.

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Yeah.

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We need good men to,

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you don't have to have all of your stuff together,

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you don't have to be perfect,

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but it does help when other strong men,

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reach out to other men and bring them forward,

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instead of just being only concerned about their thing,

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only being concerned about their imperfections,

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working on yourself.

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That's cool to work on yourself, that's great.

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But at some point, I really believe

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there's a higher ask, there's a higher duty,

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there's a higher calling for good men to make,

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hey, where can you stand up?

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Now that doesn't mean maybe you have a movement

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of a thousand men that you're trying to affect,

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maybe it's just one other person,

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maybe you're just a mentor to someone that's in your space.

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you, you know, you're a champion of people that are in your workplace. And, you know,

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it's a really powerful stand that you're making, you know, so there's a lot of different ways to do

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that. But that's, that's the why, in my opinion. Yeah. And what is what is the ratio right now with

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with the LIS community with men and women? I mean, I think it's probably a nine to one.

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But that's also, but that's also, you know, women doing their thing, too. I mean,

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I'm not saying all the women are perfectly on point with their thing. They have decidedly

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decided to work on themselves. They're doing their hard work, they're following.

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And, you know, one of the things that Jackie just talked about on Supernatural Saturday,

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um, again, to our community was this whole issue with, like, the will of God.

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And I don't know if men struggle. I'm sure they do. But sort of we're coming after a little bit

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right now, this religious mindset of the like, going after, like, what is God's will? I just

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want his will. I just want what God wants. I just want like, you're waiting and constantly like,

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really seeking instead of like, getting yourself together, decide what you want,

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take action, work on what's working, what's not working, and then revise and continue,

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rinse and repeat. It's like, that's the old Tony Robbins, like success formula.

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This is like, take action, you know, decide what you want. This is why I get to that question a

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lot. I say, what do you want? Like, what do you want? You know? And, um, you know, right now,

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there's, you know, if you have a job and you have things together and you have your home together

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and you're working on yourself, you know, and you've got things like nothing that's in crisis

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mode in your immediate surrounding, and so you're not having to like, put out fires,

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but you're also not asking yourself, what do I want in a greater sense? Now it's just like,

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you're just maintaining. So I'm, the challenge is, is like, you know, when there's not a fire

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to put out, like, oh my God, I can't pay my rent. Okay. That's, that's something that's like, okay,

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that's an immediate attention thing. Um, I'm having a medical crisis. That's an immediate

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attention thing. But if you're not having any of those crises, like immediate to yourself

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and you're just in the habit of like, okay, I'm, I'm working on myself, the invitation,

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the, the, the, um, challenge is to ask yourself the greater question, like,

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what do I want? What am I after? Like, where's, where's the next bigger step?

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You know? So does that require an education? Does that require a job change? Does that require you

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to get your resume together and level up? Does that require you to take care of a relationship,

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you know, for you? I mean, there's all, all sorts of things that you could answer that question

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with like, well, what do you want? Well, I want, um, you know, any number of things.

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It could be, um, it could be a health thing, you know, somebody like, okay, I really need to get

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a hold of my health because I want to make it longer than whatever. And so that is something

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that you're working on right now. So focus is a big thing. Like, what are you focusing on?

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It better be answering, it better be. And it's one of the answers to like, what do you want?

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What I want is this. Okay. So then that becomes your focus to start really focusing on.

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Um, so that's a, that's a huge thing. Yeah. I love the fact that you've been,

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I love the fact that you feel like you're in a good place. I love that. That's powerful.

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Yeah. But to speak to what you're talking about with the lack of men, um,

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we're like, yeah, I feel like maybe that would be a good goal to try to round up some guys to

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bring them into the community. Is there any, like, if we all got like a guy to bring in,

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you know, that could double, double the men that are here.

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Absolutely. And, you know, I, I've got a friend that's down in Florida right now that, um,

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you know, and I really believe, um, cause I told him this, cause he has, um, a men's movement that

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he's working with and he's kind of like right now it's, he's not really public with it. I mean,

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there's something that you can join and, um, there there's a program that he's putting together,

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but he's not really like, he's not really pushing it and really like pushing it out

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yet because he just really doing.

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testing with it. So it's kind of in a beta phase right now. But, you know, and he's having some

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great results with some breakthrough of the men that he's working with. He's got several hundred

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men that he's connected with. And he was just, you know, touching base with us that like, you know,

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we, Jackie introduced him and his wife several years ago. So that was, that was one of our,

303
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you know, matches made in this community. And so it's just a really great story, you know,

304
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like how we know him, but like now he's gone on to do this thing and we're like, wow, that's

305
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incredible. You know, keep us, let us know, you know, how that's going. And, you know,

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when you're ready to do that, because there may be a partnership or there may be something that

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we're going to, to, to work with, because as I was saying to him on the phone, we were catching up

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this men's revival, if you will, I hate to use the sort of the, the, the, the spiritual language,

309
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but it, the men's Renaissance revival, whatever you want to call it, it's going to have to happen

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on a massive, like, like bigger than one person scale. Like something is going to shift to where

311
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this is going to sort of like break open for men to start gathering, start really responding,

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start like, oh my gosh, like some sort of battle cry. And it's not going to be like,

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you know, some engineered mediated sort of marketed movement. It's not going to be,

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you know, come to a stadium, all the men and gather 30,000 men and try to get everybody

315
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saved. I mean, that's wonderful. That's awesome. And maybe there will be men gathering stadiums.

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I don't know, but I'm just saying, it's not going to be one person trying to make some sort of

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movement. It's going to be a collection. It's going to be a gathering. It's going to be nameless,

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so to speak. It's going to be something that is pivotal. And I, again, I don't know what it looks

319
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like, but I know that it's very necessary. And because we can't go on in our world the way it is

320
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without the influence of righteous men. We just, we can't. There's too many terrible and horrible

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things that are afoot right now. Not that they haven't always been in terms of just history,

322
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but it's just, it's diabolical. And there needs to be a righteousness, a righteous voice that

323
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stands up. And again, I mean, it's, the converse is being shown right now,

324
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especially in the church leadership that we're finding that they're struggling.

325
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Yeah.

326
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You have a lot of the, and I'm not going to comment on anything specific. I'm just saying,

327
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there isn't, I mean, that isn't just happening accidentally. It's just not like, oh,

328
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you know, here's another one. Here's another one. This is just consequential. No, no, no.

329
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There is literally a revealing for these things to be known and to be had. There's a revealing,

330
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and it's a sovereign thing. It's a God thing. Because he's like, look, we can't have,

331
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I'm not going to have people representing the kingdom of God that aren't who they say they are,

332
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in the sense of whether it's just their own thin, their own inconsistency, or their just

333
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lack of strong leadership. And it's not political. It's not one side or the other. It's not,

334
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it's not the regular jargon and the regular sort of like stuff that's out there, the Christianese.

335
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It's not the religious right. It's not that that is rising up. I'm just telling you,

336
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a lot of these things are being shaken so that something that is authentic and is real

337
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will begin to appear and begin to rise up to a righteous place. And again, I don't know what

338
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that looks like. But it's exciting. I look forward to it. Maybe it's a marketplace thing. I don't

339
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know. Who knows? And there's a few voices out there that have gotten pummeled, actually,

340
00:24:05.280 --> 00:24:14.400
in recent years, that sounded sort of like this, you know, reasonable, articulate,

341
00:24:15.040 --> 00:24:20.880
able to gather, able to aggregate, and able to really get a strong message forward.

342
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And, you know, some of those voices have been, have been really, like,

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pummeled in their own person, because, and you can see it, I can see the resistance of

344
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the enemy going, nope, not going to have, not going to have that. And so I just feel

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like there's definitely a righteous answer to it. And again, I can't describe to you what that

346
00:24:44.720 --> 00:24:50.080
looks like, because it's, it's not ready emerging yet. But anyway, that's just my little soapbox.

347
00:24:50.880 --> 00:24:59.840
Um, so who else wants to jump in here tonight? I'm going to jump in as well.

348
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.280
From the last time we talked as well, and I appreciate, Chris, your last comment on

349
00:25:06.280 --> 00:25:07.280
that.

350
00:25:07.280 --> 00:25:08.280
You're very correct on that one.

351
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A lot of them want us to make them happy.

352
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And if we don't make them happy, then, you know, they're not going to be happy, and that's

353
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just an immaturity on their part.

354
00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:19.240
Absolutely.

355
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There's a lot more North American—and I'm going to say this out loud, and even on the

356
00:25:25.640 --> 00:25:31.760
recording—we have a lot of North American Western women who are so immature compared

357
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to Asian or Aramaic-type women who are—they understand how to look after—because they

358
00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:43.840
were trained how to look after a man.

359
00:25:43.840 --> 00:25:45.780
They were equipped to do that.

360
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But our women no longer are being equipped to do that.

361
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And in doing so, they have this gimme, gimme, gimme, and while you look at it, a lot of

362
00:25:54.920 --> 00:25:59.800
times, a lot of these women that I have seen out there, they say, I'm great and fit, and

363
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I want to meet them.

364
00:26:00.800 --> 00:26:01.960
It's like, are you kidding me?

365
00:26:01.960 --> 00:26:06.480
If you're fit, then let's go jog around the block just once and see if you—you're so

366
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winded you don't make it halfway around the block.

367
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It's just that terrible nowadays.

368
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They represent themselves so badly.

369
00:26:12.120 --> 00:26:14.320
And I'm not saying guys don't do the same thing.

370
00:26:14.320 --> 00:26:15.320
They do.

371
00:26:15.320 --> 00:26:21.440
But my case here that I'm running across here, I've been seeing a younger woman for two and

372
00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:25.920
a half years, and I'm helping her along and moving her.

373
00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:29.940
She's far more mature in Christ now than she's ever been.

374
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But her biggest problem is she fears her children.

375
00:26:33.080 --> 00:26:34.800
She literally fears her children.

376
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She fears their opinion, because they don't like me.

377
00:26:38.160 --> 00:26:42.560
So she always comes up and says, well, I know they're not—and she says, I know they're

378
00:26:42.560 --> 00:26:43.560
not going to like you.

379
00:26:43.560 --> 00:26:45.760
And I say, well, hold on, let's back up the train.

380
00:26:45.760 --> 00:26:46.760
How do you know this?

381
00:26:46.760 --> 00:26:47.760
Are you a psychic?

382
00:26:47.760 --> 00:26:48.760
Are you prophetic?

383
00:26:48.760 --> 00:26:49.760
What?

384
00:26:49.760 --> 00:26:50.760
No.

385
00:26:51.080 --> 00:26:55.120
And I say, well, until they get to know me, but you're not allowing me to get to know

386
00:26:55.120 --> 00:26:56.120
them.

387
00:26:56.120 --> 00:26:59.920
And she says, but I already know they're not going to like you.

388
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But yet she wants to be with me.

389
00:27:01.240 --> 00:27:06.160
So here's this tug of war that we have, and her kids are from Australia right now.

390
00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:08.720
They're in town for the last two weeks.

391
00:27:08.720 --> 00:27:12.360
And she said she was going to talk to her girl, says, yes, Kenton and I are starting

392
00:27:12.360 --> 00:27:17.720
to date, and we're just going to let you know that we're moving towards marriage.

393
00:27:17.720 --> 00:27:22.840
And so I asked her to tell her children not to get their blessing, because I know I'm

394
00:27:22.840 --> 00:27:25.440
not going to get their blessing.

395
00:27:25.440 --> 00:27:32.640
And in the meantime, she hasn't done that, because this fear she has with her children.

396
00:27:32.640 --> 00:27:39.440
And I have to make a decision, as soon as their children—if she hasn't told them,

397
00:27:39.440 --> 00:27:40.440
I'm out.

398
00:27:40.440 --> 00:27:47.360
I have to be out, because I can't wait along for some woman who's got this complex about

399
00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:52.440
her children, because a lot of them in North America, if they don't live near their children,

400
00:27:52.440 --> 00:27:56.200
they don't want anything to do with you.

401
00:27:56.200 --> 00:27:59.520
They've forgotten that they're still alone.

402
00:27:59.520 --> 00:28:04.480
And they've forgotten that—I says, well, then let your children look after you.

403
00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:07.400
Do you think in North America they're going to do that?

404
00:28:07.400 --> 00:28:10.320
I don't think so.

405
00:28:10.320 --> 00:28:14.520
And so there's the struggle I'm having right at the present moment.

406
00:28:14.560 --> 00:28:16.560
So, couldn't speak into that.

407
00:28:16.560 --> 00:28:24.200
Yeah, no, Candid, I appreciate you sharing that, you know, and that situation is definitely

408
00:28:24.200 --> 00:28:26.320
a very common one, for sure.

409
00:28:26.320 --> 00:28:35.840
There's so many circumstances that surround, especially people that are later in life,

410
00:28:35.840 --> 00:28:40.640
you know, have had children, had previous marriages, have had situations where they're

411
00:28:40.640 --> 00:28:45.520
dealing with different stages of life, for sure.

412
00:28:45.520 --> 00:28:46.960
And I appreciate you sharing that.

413
00:28:46.960 --> 00:28:49.880
I just have one more thing, David.

414
00:28:49.880 --> 00:28:53.840
She's talked to her children, and their children says, well, Kenton doesn't have a house, and

415
00:28:53.840 --> 00:28:57.120
he hasn't got his finances in order, and et cetera, et cetera.

416
00:28:57.120 --> 00:28:58.760
Well, I was divorced.

417
00:28:58.760 --> 00:29:01.880
I had a huge legal battle going on.

418
00:29:01.880 --> 00:29:03.920
I had to go bankrupt.

419
00:29:03.920 --> 00:29:08.480
So I lost everything, and yet I'm in top shape that I've ever been.

420
00:29:08.480 --> 00:29:09.680
And I've got a great job.

421
00:29:09.720 --> 00:29:12.360
I mean, I'm making over $120,000 a year.

422
00:29:12.360 --> 00:29:18.920
So it's not, I can't look after her, but her children are saying all this, and she's just

423
00:29:18.920 --> 00:29:24.520
afraid to take that step forward, even though she knows she needs to make it.

424
00:29:24.520 --> 00:29:25.520
Yeah.

425
00:29:25.520 --> 00:29:30.720
Yeah, no, you're right, and it would be one thing if you're like, look, you know, like,

426
00:29:30.720 --> 00:29:33.040
you're not, you don't have it together.

427
00:29:33.040 --> 00:29:34.400
You don't, you're not out making money.

428
00:29:34.400 --> 00:29:41.760
I mean, like, you definitely are, got the proof of like, I am reviving what I had, and

429
00:29:41.760 --> 00:29:43.680
still have, and, you know, where I'm going.

430
00:29:43.680 --> 00:29:46.600
So that's definitely evident.

431
00:29:46.600 --> 00:29:52.440
And that's a great example of like, because, you know, I was doing the same thing when

432
00:29:52.440 --> 00:29:53.560
I met Jackie.

433
00:29:53.560 --> 00:29:58.880
I was driving a nine to four Buick Century with rusted out, like, that I bought for $2,500.

434
00:29:58.880 --> 00:30:00.000
Because why?

435
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.280
because my two cars had gotten repossessed

436
00:30:02.280 --> 00:30:06.440
several months before, and two cars in the same day.

437
00:30:06.440 --> 00:30:09.920
And I was living in a house that was being foreclosed upon

438
00:30:09.920 --> 00:30:12.720
because I was going through a divorce that I didn't want

439
00:30:12.720 --> 00:30:15.640
because two incomes was what was making it happen

440
00:30:15.640 --> 00:30:19.440
and the one goes away and you know what all happens there.

441
00:30:19.440 --> 00:30:21.960
Just saw the house of cards comes down.

442
00:30:21.960 --> 00:30:24.240
And the question is, well, why weren't you more prepared?

443
00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:25.600
Why weren't you out of debt?

444
00:30:25.600 --> 00:30:27.400
Why didn't you have things paid off?

445
00:30:27.400 --> 00:30:30.360
Well, because I was living the American dream.

446
00:30:30.360 --> 00:30:33.280
And the American dream was to be in $30,000 of debt

447
00:30:33.280 --> 00:30:35.240
and living in a big house and two cars

448
00:30:35.240 --> 00:30:38.120
and both got jobs and kids are in school

449
00:30:38.120 --> 00:30:40.520
and you're making the whole thing happen.

450
00:30:40.520 --> 00:30:44.220
And that was 2003 when that was all happening.

451
00:30:44.220 --> 00:30:48.160
And 2003 was prior to a lot of the housing crisis

452
00:30:48.160 --> 00:30:50.360
and people were being over mortgaged

453
00:30:50.360 --> 00:30:54.480
and they were giving out mortgages like candy

454
00:30:54.480 --> 00:30:56.400
back then in America.

455
00:30:56.400 --> 00:31:00.440
And so this was a period in time where like circumstantially

456
00:31:00.440 --> 00:31:03.480
a lot of people were just doing what they did.

457
00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:08.480
And then I kind of avoided the housing crash

458
00:31:09.680 --> 00:31:10.960
and I wasn't in the market,

459
00:31:10.960 --> 00:31:13.840
but I lost everything before that.

460
00:31:13.840 --> 00:31:17.920
It wasn't like, I just kind of had my own crisis

461
00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:19.480
before the crisis came.

462
00:31:19.480 --> 00:31:21.520
But yeah, circumstances happen,

463
00:31:21.520 --> 00:31:23.080
but when you can go through that.

464
00:31:23.080 --> 00:31:25.480
So my point is that this kind of stuff

465
00:31:25.480 --> 00:31:27.360
happens to everybody.

466
00:31:27.360 --> 00:31:28.840
And when you can go through that

467
00:31:28.840 --> 00:31:30.480
and you can demonstrate that you're like,

468
00:31:30.480 --> 00:31:32.880
look, I'm still at it.

469
00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:33.800
I'm still working.

470
00:31:33.800 --> 00:31:36.360
I'm still putting forth effort.

471
00:31:36.360 --> 00:31:40.040
I mean, like that ought to be a sign to a woman.

472
00:31:40.040 --> 00:31:41.800
So it's like, look, I just need a man.

473
00:31:41.800 --> 00:31:43.800
Like I was able to demonstrate

474
00:31:43.800 --> 00:31:47.840
even in my worst sort of situation to Jackie

475
00:31:47.840 --> 00:31:52.840
that I was more solid than what she was looking at.

476
00:31:53.840 --> 00:31:56.880
So maybe circumstantially I was just,

477
00:31:56.880 --> 00:31:59.640
we were both down here and I was just a little up

478
00:31:59.640 --> 00:32:02.520
and whatever, and it was enough for us to get married.

479
00:32:02.520 --> 00:32:07.080
But look at us 19 years later and look at what God has done.

480
00:32:07.080 --> 00:32:12.040
And I give all credit, all credit to the Lord

481
00:32:12.040 --> 00:32:15.520
in spite of ourselves and doing what he's done.

482
00:32:15.520 --> 00:32:17.240
But we had to be humble.

483
00:32:17.240 --> 00:32:18.400
We had to be submissive.

484
00:32:18.400 --> 00:32:19.920
We had to be hearing his voice.

485
00:32:19.920 --> 00:32:22.720
We had to be, it took us a minute.

486
00:32:23.560 --> 00:32:24.520
It took us a while.

487
00:32:24.520 --> 00:32:25.600
We blended our family.

488
00:32:25.600 --> 00:32:29.240
We were faithful to concentrate on our family.

489
00:32:30.320 --> 00:32:35.320
And we were even, we could have put our best efforts forward

490
00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:41.560
and marketed some things and went after wealth

491
00:32:41.560 --> 00:32:43.440
or success if you would.

492
00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:44.560
But we kind of didn't.

493
00:32:44.560 --> 00:32:47.240
We kind of put that almost like that was secondary.

494
00:32:47.240 --> 00:32:48.840
Our family was first.

495
00:32:48.840 --> 00:32:50.720
And we now have the benefits of even that

496
00:32:50.720 --> 00:32:54.960
because we are in relationship through authentic,

497
00:32:54.960 --> 00:32:58.840
deep, spirit-filled, great relationship with our kids.

498
00:32:58.840 --> 00:33:00.120
We travel with our kids.

499
00:33:00.120 --> 00:33:04.040
We go on, we were able to hang out

500
00:33:04.040 --> 00:33:08.360
and we just have just such a blessed situation with that.

501
00:33:08.360 --> 00:33:11.360
But because we took the time to blend our family

502
00:33:11.360 --> 00:33:14.440
and not necessarily go after success that we did later on.

503
00:33:15.360 --> 00:33:18.080
Did we do that intentionally on purpose?

504
00:33:18.080 --> 00:33:19.120
I don't know.

505
00:33:19.120 --> 00:33:20.320
It was a little serendipitous.

506
00:33:20.840 --> 00:33:21.680
I don't necessarily know.

507
00:33:21.680 --> 00:33:23.280
It was all like a big plan,

508
00:33:23.280 --> 00:33:25.400
but I'm just saying we can look back on that and go,

509
00:33:25.400 --> 00:33:27.080
man, look at what God did.

510
00:33:28.720 --> 00:33:32.160
And we tried to be as true and faithful as we could.

511
00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:34.880
So there are probably some things guys

512
00:33:34.880 --> 00:33:36.600
in your life right now that like,

513
00:33:36.600 --> 00:33:39.400
look, this is more important

514
00:33:39.400 --> 00:33:41.720
and I'm gonna concentrate on this.

515
00:33:41.720 --> 00:33:46.160
And this is gonna be a strong,

516
00:33:46.160 --> 00:33:48.240
this is gonna be a strength in the future.

517
00:33:48.240 --> 00:33:49.200
Maybe it's a family thing.

518
00:33:49.200 --> 00:33:53.160
Maybe it's something that's not success oriented,

519
00:33:53.160 --> 00:33:54.000
if you will.

520
00:33:55.040 --> 00:33:56.480
So there definitely are priorities,

521
00:33:56.480 --> 00:33:59.000
but I want you to be led in that.

522
00:33:59.000 --> 00:34:03.920
And I truly feel like you're going to find that still

523
00:34:03.920 --> 00:34:06.480
with the question of what do I want?

524
00:34:10.679 --> 00:34:13.400
We were asking ourselves that in that time period,

525
00:34:13.400 --> 00:34:14.560
like what do we want?

526
00:34:14.560 --> 00:34:18.880
We wanted our family to blend together

527
00:34:19.560 --> 00:34:21.960
more than we wanted to be able to

528
00:34:24.159 --> 00:34:26.679
have a big successful career.

529
00:34:26.679 --> 00:34:28.840
And financially it was tough.

530
00:34:28.840 --> 00:34:30.719
It was lean in those times.

531
00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:34.679
It could have been better, but it wasn't,

532
00:34:34.679 --> 00:34:38.159
but we were prioritizing our family before that.

533
00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:41.679
Right, wrong or indifferent, that's what happened.

534
00:34:43.440 --> 00:34:46.960
And we can see God's hand in it throughout that time.

535
00:34:47.960 --> 00:34:49.560
Thanks Kenton for sharing.

536
00:34:49.560 --> 00:34:50.600
Thank you, Jesse, man.

537
00:34:50.600 --> 00:34:51.800
Thank you guys.

538
00:34:51.800 --> 00:34:53.440
Jeremy, you got your hand raised.

539
00:34:54.560 --> 00:34:57.320
Go ahead and like unmute there if you will,

540
00:34:57.320 --> 00:34:59.960
but your comment was earlier.

541
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.200
Do you think there are more women than men in LYS

542
00:35:03.200 --> 00:35:06.480
because women are more easily able to and vulnerable

543
00:35:06.480 --> 00:35:11.320
to deal with emotionally, or vulnerable or emotional,

544
00:35:11.320 --> 00:35:13.480
which drives them to seek growth and hard work?

545
00:35:13.480 --> 00:35:14.320
Yes.

546
00:35:15.320 --> 00:35:19.000
Part of the nature of how we gather at the community

547
00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:21.280
online, sharing, all that kind of stuff,

548
00:35:21.280 --> 00:35:23.040
yes, women are definitely more

549
00:35:24.040 --> 00:35:29.040
willing and wanting to do that, for sure, than men.

550
00:35:30.320 --> 00:35:35.280
That's why, as a marketing strategy to market to men,

551
00:35:36.280 --> 00:35:38.280
doesn't work, so we don't do that.

552
00:35:39.200 --> 00:35:42.880
We gather men because there are men that say,

553
00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:44.480
hey, I need this and I want this.

554
00:35:44.480 --> 00:35:45.880
And there are other women that are saying,

555
00:35:45.880 --> 00:35:48.120
hey, I know this great guy that really needs this

556
00:35:48.120 --> 00:35:50.240
and wants this, and they get introduced to us.

557
00:35:50.240 --> 00:35:54.960
And it's just very much just organic part of the community.

558
00:35:54.960 --> 00:35:56.240
So I will say that.

559
00:35:57.320 --> 00:35:58.720
Go ahead, you have your hand up.

560
00:35:58.720 --> 00:36:00.480
Yeah, no, I appreciate you sharing that.

561
00:36:00.480 --> 00:36:02.600
One thing I just wanted to mention,

562
00:36:03.520 --> 00:36:06.040
pertaining to what Kenton brought up was,

563
00:36:08.800 --> 00:36:12.560
before I got married, I didn't have any debt.

564
00:36:12.560 --> 00:36:16.800
The only debt I had really was a mortgage and a car.

565
00:36:16.800 --> 00:36:20.160
I had gotten to the point where I paid everything else off

566
00:36:21.080 --> 00:36:24.080
and my wife was in the exact same situation.

567
00:36:24.080 --> 00:36:25.520
She was debt-free.

568
00:36:26.440 --> 00:36:29.120
She worked really hard for years to do that.

569
00:36:29.120 --> 00:36:33.040
It's very important to her because of how she grew up.

570
00:36:33.040 --> 00:36:35.520
And whenever we got married,

571
00:36:35.520 --> 00:36:39.640
within the first year to a year and a half, guess what?

572
00:36:39.640 --> 00:36:42.560
We had things hitting us from left and right.

573
00:36:42.560 --> 00:36:44.280
Like, for example, the AC went out

574
00:36:44.280 --> 00:36:45.720
and we had to take out a loan

575
00:36:45.720 --> 00:36:47.880
in order to be able to pay $10,000 for it.

576
00:36:47.880 --> 00:36:52.320
So I would just encourage you in conversation

577
00:36:52.320 --> 00:36:56.280
that with this young lady that,

578
00:36:58.520 --> 00:37:01.600
what you're seeing right now has nothing to do

579
00:37:01.600 --> 00:37:04.160
with what could potentially happen within marriage.

580
00:37:04.160 --> 00:37:08.600
Everything that you see in your current status,

581
00:37:08.600 --> 00:37:13.440
being single, is your current circumstances.

582
00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:17.160
And one thing I do know, and I can testify 100%,

583
00:37:17.160 --> 00:37:22.160
is the enemy most certainly does not like marriage.

584
00:37:22.520 --> 00:37:24.840
He wants to destroy it.

585
00:37:24.840 --> 00:37:27.680
So keeping that in mind,

586
00:37:27.680 --> 00:37:29.600
I think what a lot of people lose track of

587
00:37:29.600 --> 00:37:32.360
is your current circumstances,

588
00:37:32.360 --> 00:37:34.440
especially because he hates marriage,

589
00:37:34.440 --> 00:37:37.640
if you think there's complications right now,

590
00:37:37.640 --> 00:37:40.080
well, it may be a different set of complications.

591
00:37:40.080 --> 00:37:43.480
And when this lady and her kids are thinking about,

592
00:37:43.480 --> 00:37:45.320
well, he doesn't have A, B, and C.

593
00:37:45.320 --> 00:37:48.280
He's not checking all these boxes or whatever.

594
00:37:48.280 --> 00:37:49.840
Well, guess what?

595
00:37:49.840 --> 00:37:53.880
What really matters is whenever you do unite in marriage

596
00:37:53.880 --> 00:37:56.840
and you do come up against those issues or struggles

597
00:37:56.840 --> 00:37:59.160
where debt could come out of nowhere,

598
00:37:59.160 --> 00:38:04.120
and it's about how a man decides to confront that

599
00:38:04.120 --> 00:38:09.120
and to lead in that and be able to create

600
00:38:09.640 --> 00:38:13.000
that steady foundation or that rock

601
00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:16.360
that we're meant to be for our wife in the moment.

602
00:38:16.360 --> 00:38:17.800
So I just wanted to share that

603
00:38:17.800 --> 00:38:20.040
because when people are like,

604
00:38:20.040 --> 00:38:21.520
oh, well, they have this, this, and this,

605
00:38:21.520 --> 00:38:23.440
well, you have no idea

606
00:38:23.440 --> 00:38:24.840
what that's gonna look like in marriage,

607
00:38:24.840 --> 00:38:26.680
much less how that man

608
00:38:26.680 --> 00:38:29.640
or how that woman's gonna show up in marriage.

609
00:38:29.640 --> 00:38:31.320
Yeah, I think what you're trying to say

610
00:38:31.320 --> 00:38:36.320
is just like, well, I actually had this happen to me.

611
00:38:36.440 --> 00:38:37.600
I had a mentor of mine

612
00:38:37.600 --> 00:38:41.000
before I encountered the greatest struggle of my life,

613
00:38:41.000 --> 00:38:44.480
which was going through a divorce.

614
00:38:44.480 --> 00:38:47.760
And he was literally, I was sitting in his office,

615
00:38:47.760 --> 00:38:49.320
I was going on and on and on about stuff

616
00:38:49.320 --> 00:38:51.280
and this and that and whatever.

617
00:38:51.280 --> 00:38:53.360
And he just kind of stopped me and he goes,

618
00:38:53.360 --> 00:38:54.480
have you ever failed?

619
00:38:55.400 --> 00:38:57.080
And I'm like, what?

620
00:38:57.080 --> 00:38:58.280
What do you mean if I ever failed?

621
00:38:58.280 --> 00:38:59.200
Of course I failed.

622
00:38:59.200 --> 00:39:00.040
He goes, no, no, no, no, no.

623
00:39:00.040 --> 00:39:03.560
I mean, like, have you ever failed in life?

624
00:39:03.560 --> 00:39:06.880
Like you ever failed to the point of like misery,

625
00:39:06.880 --> 00:39:08.520
failed to the point where like,

626
00:39:08.520 --> 00:39:09.800
your friends and your family

627
00:39:09.800 --> 00:39:11.240
can't even stand to look at you

628
00:39:11.240 --> 00:39:12.760
because you're such a failure.

629
00:39:12.760 --> 00:39:14.480
Have you ever failed in life?

630
00:39:14.480 --> 00:39:18.800
And I went, no.

631
00:39:18.800 --> 00:39:21.520
And he was almost like, as if to say,

632
00:39:22.440 --> 00:39:26.200
don't fail in life and then come back and we'll talk.

633
00:39:26.200 --> 00:39:28.080
Like, it's just almost like,

634
00:39:28.080 --> 00:39:32.960
it's like until you have experienced a measure of failure,

635
00:39:32.960 --> 00:39:35.640
which I know a lot of you have.

636
00:39:35.640 --> 00:39:38.920
I know a lot of you have come up through that,

637
00:39:38.920 --> 00:39:41.440
whether it's, it doesn't even have to be marriage related.

638
00:39:41.440 --> 00:39:45.480
This could be just like, yeah, that was miserable.

639
00:39:45.480 --> 00:39:47.880
Like I totally bombed that.

640
00:39:47.880 --> 00:39:50.920
I mean, that was like the worst of the worst.

641
00:39:51.840 --> 00:39:56.360
You learn so much and what a man does.

642
00:39:56.360 --> 00:39:59.800
I think this is kind of what like Jeremy was alluding to.

643
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.000
What a man does after that is very key to who that man is

644
00:40:06.520 --> 00:40:08.800
and who that man wants to become.

645
00:40:08.800 --> 00:40:12.080
Like when you walk through something, you're like, okay,

646
00:40:12.080 --> 00:40:14.280
that's not gonna happen again.

647
00:40:14.280 --> 00:40:16.260
This is gonna be different this time.

648
00:40:16.260 --> 00:40:18.480
Like I'm rising to the challenge.

649
00:40:18.480 --> 00:40:22.440
Like sometimes like this is probably why my second marriage

650
00:40:22.440 --> 00:40:25.540
is the way it is more than my first marriage.

651
00:40:25.540 --> 00:40:27.880
It doesn't always statistically work out that way

652
00:40:27.940 --> 00:40:31.460
because a lot of second marriages fail more statistically

653
00:40:31.460 --> 00:40:33.160
than even first marriages.

654
00:40:33.160 --> 00:40:35.980
We already know that, right, the statistics.

655
00:40:35.980 --> 00:40:37.940
But that's just because people are repeating

656
00:40:37.940 --> 00:40:41.560
the same problems without any new information

657
00:40:41.560 --> 00:40:43.620
or without any new habits or without,

658
00:40:43.620 --> 00:40:48.320
they didn't learn from the first time, right?

659
00:40:48.320 --> 00:40:49.780
So I think that's kind of what Jeremy's trying to say.

660
00:40:49.780 --> 00:40:52.740
So, you know, like Kenton, I mean, you're demonstrating that.

661
00:40:52.740 --> 00:40:54.860
I mean, I would say, you know,

662
00:40:54.860 --> 00:40:56.740
been through what your hardship is

663
00:40:56.760 --> 00:40:59.640
and all of you guys, if you're demonstrating this

664
00:40:59.640 --> 00:41:02.400
after failure, and if you feel like

665
00:41:02.400 --> 00:41:04.140
you're not demonstrating it,

666
00:41:04.140 --> 00:41:06.840
like you didn't learn from failure,

667
00:41:06.840 --> 00:41:09.280
I would just be curious for yourself.

668
00:41:11.360 --> 00:41:15.480
Not hard, not demanding, not I'm terrible,

669
00:41:15.480 --> 00:41:17.660
there's something wrong with me.

670
00:41:17.660 --> 00:41:19.160
You know, nine times out of 10,

671
00:41:19.160 --> 00:41:21.680
there's actually not something wrong with you.

672
00:41:21.680 --> 00:41:24.200
It's just, you're not stepping up to the level

673
00:41:24.220 --> 00:41:26.820
that you could, and you're not being curious enough.

674
00:41:28.220 --> 00:41:30.300
There are some things that you need to stop doing.

675
00:41:30.300 --> 00:41:33.100
There are some behaviors that you need to like,

676
00:41:33.100 --> 00:41:34.700
don't do that anymore.

677
00:41:34.700 --> 00:41:37.620
You know, that's just not, that's not helpful.

678
00:41:37.620 --> 00:41:42.620
But most of it is you getting the curious about who you are,

679
00:41:44.420 --> 00:41:47.540
and then through that curiosity,

680
00:41:47.540 --> 00:41:52.220
finding ways to become not only better, but stronger,

681
00:41:52.240 --> 00:41:54.440
develop greater habits,

682
00:41:54.440 --> 00:41:56.680
answering the question of what do you want,

683
00:41:56.680 --> 00:41:58.820
finding, taking action in that,

684
00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:04.240
and then building that confidence through that process

685
00:42:04.240 --> 00:42:06.600
to become the man you really wanna be,

686
00:42:06.600 --> 00:42:11.440
getting real focused, getting truly honest,

687
00:42:11.440 --> 00:42:12.780
truly intentional.

688
00:42:13.640 --> 00:42:18.360
You should, every single one of us, me included,

689
00:42:19.360 --> 00:42:22.100
we should look at ourselves,

690
00:42:22.100 --> 00:42:25.660
and we should identify things in our life

691
00:42:25.660 --> 00:42:30.400
that should no longer be or should be totally different.

692
00:42:30.400 --> 00:42:32.460
And we should come to those things and say,

693
00:42:32.460 --> 00:42:36.600
look, this thing, no more, not doing it.

694
00:42:37.740 --> 00:42:39.340
I'm not thinking this way.

695
00:42:39.340 --> 00:42:40.940
I'm not behaving this way.

696
00:42:40.940 --> 00:42:43.240
I'm not, I'm cutting this out of my life.

697
00:42:45.420 --> 00:42:47.900
And you could be like, well, I tried that before,

698
00:42:48.400 --> 00:42:50.040
and it doesn't work, and da-da-da, no, no, no.

699
00:42:50.040 --> 00:42:52.080
No excuses, no nothing.

700
00:42:53.600 --> 00:42:56.560
And it's not about somebody putting it on,

701
00:42:56.560 --> 00:43:00.960
because usually what happens is somebody,

702
00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:05.060
something is putting that on you and challenging you with it,

703
00:43:05.060 --> 00:43:07.160
and you haven't made it your own yet.

704
00:43:09.480 --> 00:43:11.100
That's a big difference.

705
00:43:12.120 --> 00:43:14.880
When it's not somebody else making you,

706
00:43:14.880 --> 00:43:18.020
it's not a system that's making you.

707
00:43:18.020 --> 00:43:22.060
If it's not something that's putting a demand upon you,

708
00:43:22.060 --> 00:43:25.820
but that change comes from within,

709
00:43:25.820 --> 00:43:29.140
and you can honestly look at your life

710
00:43:29.140 --> 00:43:32.320
and look at the circumstances and say, you know what?

711
00:43:32.320 --> 00:43:33.680
I don't like that.

712
00:43:33.680 --> 00:43:35.540
I don't like that about myself.

713
00:43:35.540 --> 00:43:38.340
I don't like that about how I handle this

714
00:43:38.340 --> 00:43:40.060
or what I do with this.

715
00:43:40.060 --> 00:43:42.460
I don't like this situation, whatever it is.

716
00:43:42.460 --> 00:43:46.400
And you can honestly look at that situation yourself

717
00:43:46.400 --> 00:43:50.480
and say, I'm going to do something about this.

718
00:43:50.480 --> 00:43:52.600
I'm going to change.

719
00:43:52.600 --> 00:43:54.840
I'm going to focus,

720
00:43:54.840 --> 00:43:59.040
and this is not gonna be true of me in a year.

721
00:43:59.040 --> 00:44:01.060
This is not gonna be true of me in six months,

722
00:44:01.060 --> 00:44:02.460
but put a time limit on it.

723
00:44:03.480 --> 00:44:05.160
This is going to be like, I mean,

724
00:44:05.160 --> 00:44:07.280
even as simple as clearing out your email box,

725
00:44:07.280 --> 00:44:09.400
like Thomas's example is a perfect example

726
00:44:09.420 --> 00:44:11.340
of something kind of small,

727
00:44:11.340 --> 00:44:13.660
but actually can be quite powerful

728
00:44:13.660 --> 00:44:16.020
because it's like, what would it mean

729
00:44:17.220 --> 00:44:19.340
if your inbox was clean?

730
00:44:19.340 --> 00:44:23.500
What would it mean if your house was clean?

731
00:44:24.500 --> 00:44:27.760
What would it mean if all the dishes were actually cleaned

732
00:44:27.760 --> 00:44:30.540
and put away and they stayed clean

733
00:44:30.540 --> 00:44:34.500
and put away every day, every week, every month?

734
00:44:36.400 --> 00:44:39.140
That would mean that when you walk into the kitchen

735
00:44:39.880 --> 00:44:42.000
and hey, I'm speaking to myself, guys.

736
00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:43.440
I'm not harboring any of you.

737
00:44:45.120 --> 00:44:47.820
That means I can walk out in the morning

738
00:44:47.820 --> 00:44:49.900
and I don't walk into stress.

739
00:44:50.840 --> 00:44:54.920
That means I don't start my day in stress

740
00:44:54.920 --> 00:44:57.920
when I've got crap laying all over the floor,

741
00:44:57.920 --> 00:44:59.040
when it could have just been like,

742
00:44:59.040 --> 00:45:00.240
hey, when you take that.

743
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.000
off, don't throw it on the floor, just hang it up or throw it in the clothes bin, one or the other,

744
00:45:06.000 --> 00:45:11.280
but it doesn't go on the floor. I mean, these are simple examples, but I'm talking about stuff that

745
00:45:11.280 --> 00:45:17.520
you can really, really change and maximize. Maybe it just starts with your physical environment.

746
00:45:17.520 --> 00:45:22.160
Maybe it starts with your health. Maybe it starts with simple things you can do at your job.

747
00:45:23.200 --> 00:45:27.440
Maybe you are disciplined and you're like, dude, I've got that. I'm already good. I'm all that.

748
00:45:27.760 --> 00:45:35.520
All that, a bag of chips. Now maybe it's onto something like relationships or something that's

749
00:45:35.520 --> 00:45:44.560
pretty heavy stuff. Like I'm going to write a book. I've got something in me to share. I'm

750
00:45:44.560 --> 00:45:50.320
going to start something. You're going to start a business. You're going to start an initiative.

751
00:45:50.320 --> 00:45:54.560
You're going to start a nonprofit. Maybe there's something like that that's in your future.

752
00:45:55.360 --> 00:46:02.560
So I'm just telling you, you have to start where you're at to make the change that's necessary

753
00:46:03.120 --> 00:46:14.640
for you to get where you want to be. And that should be the strongest voice that's going to

754
00:46:14.640 --> 00:46:21.520
get you to that change is your own voice going, you know what? That's it. I'm just going to do it.

755
00:46:24.560 --> 00:46:29.280
I'm going to make up my mind. I'm going to change. I'm going to focus and I'm going to do this.

756
00:46:31.200 --> 00:46:35.520
Will you fail? Yes. Will you not be good at it at first? Yes.

757
00:46:37.840 --> 00:46:43.760
But the truth is, is if you keep at it, if you keep taking action, if you keep being focused,

758
00:46:43.760 --> 00:46:47.680
if you do things like put things in front of you and put your goals in front of you,

759
00:46:47.680 --> 00:46:50.880
if you take all, I mean, there's a thousand different things out there as far as like

760
00:46:50.880 --> 00:46:58.960
habit builders and things that you can do. I found with you guys, I find certain voices

761
00:46:58.960 --> 00:47:03.760
and certain people that are very inspired to me. Not all of the voices out there that are

762
00:47:03.760 --> 00:47:10.560
supposed to be inspiring and whatever, and challenging, whatever. One voice I find

763
00:47:10.560 --> 00:47:16.000
inspiring actually is Tony Robbins. That may sound cheesy. That may sound like really old

764
00:47:16.000 --> 00:47:20.720
school and weird. I just kind of find the guy very inspiring. I think he's actually quite

765
00:47:20.720 --> 00:47:29.600
authentic. If you don't, that's cool, but find whatever voice resonates with you that sounds

766
00:47:29.600 --> 00:47:39.840
authentic to you if you need assistance with that, but you definitely have to own your change.

767
00:47:40.800 --> 00:47:50.880
It cannot be, in my case, my wife wanting it for me more than me. It can't be my kids.

768
00:47:51.680 --> 00:47:58.400
It can't be society wanting this and trying to put stuff on me that I'm like irritated by.

769
00:47:59.920 --> 00:48:04.800
It can't be the media showing me pictures of like, oh, this is what you could look like. This is what

770
00:48:04.880 --> 00:48:11.440
you could be. I'm going to be what I'm going to be when I decide I want to be it.

771
00:48:12.880 --> 00:48:20.400
That ought to be your mantra. That ought to be you saying, you know what? I am. I'm going to

772
00:48:20.400 --> 00:48:25.840
decide that this is who I'm going to be. Come hell or high water, I'm going to do it.

773
00:48:26.720 --> 00:48:35.360
Make up your mind and then sense the resolve inside of you that lines up with that when you

774
00:48:35.360 --> 00:48:40.320
make those statements and when you really try and finally make up your mind and you're like,

775
00:48:40.320 --> 00:48:52.240
I'm going to do this. There's a power that really just kind of like rises within you

776
00:48:53.120 --> 00:49:00.880
when you finally do that for real. Okay, David, you've had your hand raised, Mr. iPhone.

777
00:49:03.280 --> 00:49:04.080
Well, I'll give you a chance.

778
00:49:04.080 --> 00:49:08.160
Yeah, I love it. It's funny that you mentioned Tony Robbins because for me,

779
00:49:08.720 --> 00:49:13.360
you're the voice that's that, what is that voice in your life that's like, that pushes you to voice.

780
00:49:13.360 --> 00:49:16.800
For me, it's you and I'm like, and I'm like, I took a ton of notes and I was like,

781
00:49:16.800 --> 00:49:21.200
because I was like, Lord, I just need, I need one of David Dorman's talks where he's going to like

782
00:49:21.200 --> 00:49:23.840
tell me, Hey, change your life. So thank you for that.

783
00:49:25.200 --> 00:49:27.040
Okay. All right, good. Praise God.

784
00:49:27.040 --> 00:49:33.120
And I think for me, my question is, is, so I've kind of been struggling with long distance because

785
00:49:33.120 --> 00:49:37.520
I kind of live in the middle of nowhere and I live in a college town, so there's like five

786
00:49:37.520 --> 00:49:43.360
universities in my town, but everybody who's single is kind of 22 and that's not my age range.

787
00:49:43.360 --> 00:49:48.640
And I find most young professional women in my age range are either in cities two to three hours

788
00:49:48.720 --> 00:49:51.760
away. And so that's kind of where I've been at.

789
00:49:54.320 --> 00:49:57.280
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, pro, I mean,

790
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.300
Can you move?

791
00:50:02.300 --> 00:50:03.880
I can.

792
00:50:03.880 --> 00:50:05.600
I can, but I like it here.

793
00:50:05.600 --> 00:50:07.440
I'm called here.

794
00:50:07.440 --> 00:50:08.320
Oh, OK.

795
00:50:08.320 --> 00:50:12.840
Well, I mean, seriously, though, that, to me,

796
00:50:12.840 --> 00:50:16.720
does come down to literally, like, you know people,

797
00:50:16.720 --> 00:50:19.520
have you ever heard people, I'm talking to everyone,

798
00:50:19.520 --> 00:50:20.600
you know people like this.

799
00:50:20.600 --> 00:50:21.980
You're like, oh, man, I've always

800
00:50:21.980 --> 00:50:24.160
wanted to fill in the blank.

801
00:50:24.160 --> 00:50:26.360
I've always wanted to live where whatever.

802
00:50:26.360 --> 00:50:28.120
I've always wanted to live near the water.

803
00:50:28.120 --> 00:50:30.280
I've always wanted to go somewhere.

804
00:50:30.280 --> 00:50:34.360
And the question is just like, why don't you?

805
00:50:34.360 --> 00:50:35.720
You know?

806
00:50:35.720 --> 00:50:39.760
If that's a true statement, it's almost

807
00:50:39.760 --> 00:50:42.640
like those are the kind of inquisitive things.

808
00:50:42.640 --> 00:50:46.560
That's why I'm talking about being curious about yourself.

809
00:50:46.560 --> 00:50:48.360
You have to start listening to some

810
00:50:48.360 --> 00:50:51.400
of those authentic things that come up in your head

811
00:50:51.400 --> 00:50:53.800
that you dismiss so easily.

812
00:50:53.800 --> 00:50:55.560
Why do you dismiss them?

813
00:50:55.560 --> 00:50:57.640
You dismiss them because they're impractical.

814
00:50:57.640 --> 00:50:59.880
Somebody told you that wasn't available.

815
00:50:59.880 --> 00:51:01.760
You look at your real circumstances.

816
00:51:01.760 --> 00:51:03.000
Like, I can't afford that.

817
00:51:03.000 --> 00:51:04.480
I can't do that, blah, blah.

818
00:51:04.480 --> 00:51:07.960
And you automatically start dismissing things

819
00:51:07.960 --> 00:51:12.080
and trying to answer the question of what do you want.

820
00:51:12.080 --> 00:51:16.640
And that's where curiosity and just really

821
00:51:16.640 --> 00:51:20.440
being honest in that question of what do you want

822
00:51:20.440 --> 00:51:25.760
gets you to the authentic truth of what's inside of you.

823
00:51:25.760 --> 00:51:30.240
Because you'll never, I can say it kind of like really badly,

824
00:51:30.240 --> 00:51:32.160
which is like, you'll never do what you really

825
00:51:32.160 --> 00:51:33.360
want to do unless you listen.

826
00:51:33.360 --> 00:51:34.920
I mean, like, no.

827
00:51:34.920 --> 00:51:40.160
You just, that is the most authentic thing and person

828
00:51:40.160 --> 00:51:46.880
you can be is when you're honest with yourself

829
00:51:46.880 --> 00:51:49.000
and when you're continually going after like,

830
00:51:49.000 --> 00:51:49.760
what do you want?

831
00:51:49.760 --> 00:51:52.040
And then being curious about it instead

832
00:51:52.040 --> 00:51:55.400
of self-deprecating about it.

833
00:51:55.400 --> 00:51:57.400
Don't beat yourself up.

834
00:51:57.400 --> 00:52:00.920
Don't say, yeah, but I'm a piece of crap.

835
00:52:00.920 --> 00:52:03.280
Yeah, but I'm this and that.

836
00:52:03.280 --> 00:52:07.440
And where you just constantly defeat yourself.

837
00:52:07.440 --> 00:52:11.600
Replace that with, why?

838
00:52:11.600 --> 00:52:13.200
Like, why do I do that?

839
00:52:13.200 --> 00:52:15.040
Why am I this way?

840
00:52:15.040 --> 00:52:16.080
What happened?

841
00:52:16.080 --> 00:52:18.440
Be curious.

842
00:52:18.440 --> 00:52:20.200
Like, what is going on?

843
00:52:20.200 --> 00:52:22.440
Ask other people, like, hey, I feel like I'm this way.

844
00:52:22.440 --> 00:52:24.000
Do you feel like I'm that way?

845
00:52:24.000 --> 00:52:26.280
And like, why do you think I'm that way?

846
00:52:26.280 --> 00:52:27.760
And sometimes that's kind of risky

847
00:52:27.760 --> 00:52:29.200
because you could get some answers.

848
00:52:29.200 --> 00:52:31.520
You're like, oh, then you make an invitation to somebody

849
00:52:31.520 --> 00:52:32.440
to hate on you.

850
00:52:32.440 --> 00:52:34.160
And you're not trying to do that.

851
00:52:34.160 --> 00:52:37.440
But you're just trying to get feedback, right?

852
00:52:37.440 --> 00:52:42.920
And so being curious, like, why do I live here?

853
00:52:42.920 --> 00:52:44.120
Seriously.

854
00:52:44.120 --> 00:52:45.440
Like, I'm not kidding.

855
00:52:45.440 --> 00:52:48.920
Like, why do I actually live here?

856
00:52:48.920 --> 00:52:52.200
And you might find, I don't know why I live here.

857
00:52:52.200 --> 00:52:54.680
It's just because I exist here.

858
00:52:54.680 --> 00:52:58.360
Well, do you want to live there?

859
00:52:58.360 --> 00:53:00.520
No, I actually don't.

860
00:53:00.520 --> 00:53:02.040
Where do you want to live?

861
00:53:02.040 --> 00:53:05.880
You know, it's just like that kind of level of curiosity

862
00:53:05.880 --> 00:53:08.960
on all the things that you're facing,

863
00:53:08.960 --> 00:53:12.280
that gets you to a place where you're like, OK, I can actually

864
00:53:12.280 --> 00:53:13.680
start dreaming.

865
00:53:13.680 --> 00:53:15.640
I can actually start making some ideas.

866
00:53:15.640 --> 00:53:17.720
I can actually start seeing myself.

867
00:53:17.720 --> 00:53:20.960
I can visualize what could be instead

868
00:53:20.960 --> 00:53:25.400
of where I'm just in prison.

869
00:53:25.400 --> 00:53:27.640
And then if you start making decisions towards that,

870
00:53:27.640 --> 00:53:29.440
you're like, you know what?

871
00:53:29.440 --> 00:53:30.800
I'm going to do this.

872
00:53:30.800 --> 00:53:32.720
I'm going to travel to the place.

873
00:53:32.720 --> 00:53:34.400
I'm going to go do the thing.

874
00:53:34.400 --> 00:53:38.480
I'm going to go be the person.

875
00:53:38.480 --> 00:53:42.160
That is powerful.

876
00:53:42.160 --> 00:53:46.400
And that is what changes the world, gentlemen.

877
00:53:46.400 --> 00:53:49.200
That's what makes the difference in this world.

878
00:53:49.240 --> 00:53:54.960
And then, my God, what if you're doing all of that

879
00:53:54.960 --> 00:53:58.560
and that becomes such a level of attraction

880
00:53:58.560 --> 00:54:02.040
that a young lady wants to come and join that

881
00:54:02.040 --> 00:54:03.800
and wants to be that with you?

882
00:54:03.800 --> 00:54:06.120
Oh, my God.

883
00:54:06.120 --> 00:54:09.240
My brain just exploded.

884
00:54:09.240 --> 00:54:13.440
Like, what could be is you living your best life,

885
00:54:13.440 --> 00:54:16.800
and that's the most attractive thing that just happened.

886
00:54:16.880 --> 00:54:21.240
Like, my God, that's what movies are made of.

887
00:54:21.240 --> 00:54:22.520
That's what stories are made of.

888
00:54:22.520 --> 00:54:26.600
But you can have the best of both worlds.

889
00:54:26.600 --> 00:54:28.080
The Bible says it.

890
00:54:28.080 --> 00:54:31.280
You can actually have life and life more abundantly.

891
00:54:31.280 --> 00:54:32.080
That's what it says.

892
00:54:38.120 --> 00:54:40.320
Yeah, so it's about answering your own question.

893
00:54:40.320 --> 00:54:43.160
Like, OK, you said your call there.

894
00:54:43.160 --> 00:54:45.400
Now, that's you saying that.

895
00:54:45.440 --> 00:54:48.960
Yeah, and I've been in ministry here for, like, 15 years.

896
00:54:48.960 --> 00:54:49.880
So I've run a ministry.

897
00:54:49.880 --> 00:54:54.400
And so I would say for you, like, I would say for you,

898
00:54:54.400 --> 00:54:56.160
that's like, OK, cool.

899
00:54:56.160 --> 00:54:57.200
I'm called here.

900
00:54:57.200 --> 00:54:59.520
And if you have that resolve in your heart for whatever

901
00:54:59.520 --> 00:55:01.360
reason, whatever.

902
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.000
however you articulate that, that's fine.

903
00:55:03.000 --> 00:55:04.800
But I would still even be curious about that,

904
00:55:04.800 --> 00:55:08.280
not into challenging it, but just continuously curious.

905
00:55:08.280 --> 00:55:11.680
I'm like, okay, Lord, am I still called here?

906
00:55:11.680 --> 00:55:12.960
Is this still my calling?

907
00:55:12.960 --> 00:55:15.800
Like, if you're gonna put it in the realm of calling,

908
00:55:15.800 --> 00:55:17.240
just be curious about it.

909
00:55:18.160 --> 00:55:19.280
What's the calling for?

910
00:55:19.280 --> 00:55:20.280
What's the calling about?

911
00:55:20.280 --> 00:55:21.240
Where is this leading?

912
00:55:21.240 --> 00:55:23.640
Where's this, there's always,

913
00:55:23.640 --> 00:55:26.560
I feel like there's always progress in the kingdom.

914
00:55:27.560 --> 00:55:31.080
And the reason this is because there's a lot of,

915
00:55:31.080 --> 00:55:35.120
there's a lot of the line to go down.

916
00:55:36.360 --> 00:55:37.760
You know what I mean by that?

917
00:55:37.760 --> 00:55:40.240
Like, there's a lot to do, there's a lot to see,

918
00:55:40.240 --> 00:55:42.640
there's a lot of experience to have,

919
00:55:42.640 --> 00:55:46.000
and I feel like there's always more in the kingdom.

920
00:55:46.000 --> 00:55:48.480
So, you know, you could feel like,

921
00:55:48.480 --> 00:55:50.520
oh, what you're trying to say is it's,

922
00:55:50.520 --> 00:55:52.360
you know, there's, I'm not enough.

923
00:55:52.360 --> 00:55:53.720
No, I'm not trying to say you're not enough.

924
00:55:53.720 --> 00:55:56.480
I'm just trying to say that there's always more.

925
00:55:57.280 --> 00:56:00.320
And so you should be curious about the more.

926
00:56:02.520 --> 00:56:03.360
So,

927
00:56:06.000 --> 00:56:06.840
I love that.

928
00:56:09.200 --> 00:56:11.800
But that was my first inclination to you, David,

929
00:56:11.800 --> 00:56:14.520
was to go, oh, can you move?

930
00:56:14.520 --> 00:56:16.480
I was just like, I don't know.

931
00:56:16.480 --> 00:56:17.640
I don't know if that's the answer,

932
00:56:17.640 --> 00:56:19.760
but I'm just kind of throwing that out there.

933
00:56:21.760 --> 00:56:24.360
So praise God, be curious about it.

934
00:56:24.520 --> 00:56:26.480
I find myself wondering, like,

935
00:56:26.480 --> 00:56:29.480
do you kind of feel like I feel at times

936
00:56:29.480 --> 00:56:32.760
where we're, you know, big moves like that.

937
00:56:32.760 --> 00:56:34.480
Like, I've been here for 15 years,

938
00:56:34.480 --> 00:56:35.640
now I'm gonna move, I'm gonna uproot

939
00:56:35.640 --> 00:56:39.400
my entire life ministry existence and go somewhere else.

940
00:56:39.400 --> 00:56:41.440
I always feel when I have those big thoughts

941
00:56:41.440 --> 00:56:43.000
that I'm running out of time.

942
00:56:43.000 --> 00:56:44.760
Everything in my life is a time limit.

943
00:56:44.760 --> 00:56:48.160
I'm like, I'm 39, and I see that tick over to 40

944
00:56:48.160 --> 00:56:51.040
as a death sentence, and I know it's not true,

945
00:56:51.040 --> 00:56:53.800
but maybe he feels kind of that way

946
00:56:54.200 --> 00:56:55.400
because I'm like, okay, well, how am I gonna do it?

947
00:56:55.400 --> 00:56:57.800
I'm gonna have to start from square one again?

948
00:56:57.800 --> 00:56:58.960
I've already started from square one.

949
00:56:58.960 --> 00:57:01.400
How many square ones have I had?

950
00:57:01.400 --> 00:57:02.800
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

951
00:57:02.800 --> 00:57:03.880
I get it, I get it.

952
00:57:03.880 --> 00:57:05.400
Trust me, when I turned 50,

953
00:57:05.400 --> 00:57:10.400
I became very aware of my time,

954
00:57:10.680 --> 00:57:12.880
and I really wasn't that kind of an individual.

955
00:57:12.880 --> 00:57:15.160
You know, I've known people that were like 25,

956
00:57:15.160 --> 00:57:16.240
and they're like, oh my God, you know,

957
00:57:16.240 --> 00:57:17.480
I'm losing time and everything,

958
00:57:17.480 --> 00:57:18.720
and they're just kind of like wired that way,

959
00:57:18.720 --> 00:57:19.560
and I'm like, I get it.

960
00:57:19.560 --> 00:57:21.040
And that always intrigued me.

961
00:57:21.040 --> 00:57:22.280
I was just like, why do you feel that way?

962
00:57:22.280 --> 00:57:23.560
Like, it's no big deal.

963
00:57:24.320 --> 00:57:26.920
I did not feel I was missing out on time

964
00:57:26.920 --> 00:57:29.960
until I got to like 50,

965
00:57:29.960 --> 00:57:32.240
and all of a sudden, I started like,

966
00:57:32.240 --> 00:57:34.160
and I think probably what happened with me

967
00:57:34.160 --> 00:57:39.160
was I started seeing the end of my parents.

968
00:57:39.400 --> 00:57:41.440
Like, all of my parents are still living,

969
00:57:41.440 --> 00:57:43.360
but they're definitely coming up to like

970
00:57:43.360 --> 00:57:45.240
a really true like end.

971
00:57:45.240 --> 00:57:48.920
Like, I don't know how much longer, you know,

972
00:57:48.920 --> 00:57:49.920
they're gonna be.

973
00:57:49.920 --> 00:57:51.560
Like, I don't know how many more Christmases.

974
00:57:51.560 --> 00:57:54.640
I don't know how many more like, you know, birthdays.

975
00:57:54.640 --> 00:57:56.520
And it becomes a real number.

976
00:57:56.520 --> 00:57:59.480
Like, you're going, whoa, this way, whoa, what?

977
00:57:59.480 --> 00:58:01.120
And it kind of just dawns on you.

978
00:58:01.120 --> 00:58:01.960
And then I just start,

979
00:58:01.960 --> 00:58:04.960
because I've been getting involved with my dad's,

980
00:58:04.960 --> 00:58:07.800
you know, estate and a bunch of stuff that's going on.

981
00:58:07.800 --> 00:58:10.080
Like, I just, you know, like just that planning.

982
00:58:10.080 --> 00:58:12.040
Like, I just never had to do that.

983
00:58:12.040 --> 00:58:13.520
And so here I am at like 50,

984
00:58:13.520 --> 00:58:14.880
now I'm dealing with all this.

985
00:58:14.880 --> 00:58:16.760
Now my life becomes start,

986
00:58:16.760 --> 00:58:20.640
I start calculating my rest of my existence, you know?

987
00:58:20.640 --> 00:58:23.040
So I get the whole time thing.

988
00:58:23.040 --> 00:58:27.800
But, and it is a real sense for sure.

989
00:58:27.800 --> 00:58:29.400
But at the same time,

990
00:58:31.080 --> 00:58:33.520
I think getting down like to the answer of like,

991
00:58:33.520 --> 00:58:34.680
what do you want?

992
00:58:36.480 --> 00:58:39.640
And that what do you want question

993
00:58:41.360 --> 00:58:44.640
is in spite or in the face of,

994
00:58:44.640 --> 00:58:46.320
regardless of what happens.

995
00:58:47.320 --> 00:58:49.880
Like, there are some things that you cannot control.

996
00:58:50.760 --> 00:58:53.200
You cannot control the comet that's headed toward earth,

997
00:58:53.200 --> 00:58:54.920
that's going to blow up earth.

998
00:58:54.920 --> 00:58:56.200
Can't do anything about it.

999
00:58:57.360 --> 00:58:58.200
Okay?

1000
00:58:58.200 --> 00:58:59.440
I use it as an extreme example,

1001
00:58:59.440 --> 00:59:01.600
because it's like, you can't do anything about it.

1002
00:59:01.600 --> 00:59:03.360
So like, what are you going to do?

1003
00:59:03.360 --> 00:59:04.360
You're going to live to your fullest?

1004
00:59:04.360 --> 00:59:07.360
You're going to sit under a sofa and just waste away?

1005
00:59:07.360 --> 00:59:09.600
You're going to like, like, what are you going to do?

1006
00:59:09.600 --> 00:59:11.480
So the question of what do you want

1007
00:59:12.040 --> 00:59:17.040
is regardless of anybody likes what I'm doing,

1008
00:59:19.800 --> 00:59:21.480
champions what I'm doing,

1009
00:59:21.480 --> 00:59:24.640
wants to go with me on this journey of what I'm doing,

1010
00:59:24.640 --> 00:59:28.320
of whether it's flies in the face of convention,

1011
00:59:29.600 --> 00:59:32.760
what I want is key.

1012
00:59:32.760 --> 00:59:34.880
And I'm not talking about going and doing terrible,

1013
00:59:34.880 --> 00:59:36.680
bad, horrible things with your life.

1014
00:59:36.680 --> 00:59:38.680
I'm actually talking about true, like,

1015
00:59:38.680 --> 00:59:42.080
hey, this is what I really want authentically out of life.

1016
00:59:42.080 --> 00:59:47.080
And going after that, that is going to be your best play,

1017
00:59:48.720 --> 00:59:52.280
your best strategy ever.

1018
00:59:52.280 --> 00:59:56.880
If you can get clear on that and continue to be clear.

1019
00:59:56.880 --> 00:59:59.880
I mean, it may, you may not have the big picture right now.

1020
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.400
you may have just the next step.

1021
01:00:02.400 --> 01:00:04.920
So it's a question that you continue to ask.

1022
01:00:04.920 --> 01:00:08.960
It's not something that you just ask once and go, OK,

1023
01:00:08.960 --> 01:00:09.720
I made up my mind.

1024
01:00:09.720 --> 01:00:10.760
That's what I'm going to do.

1025
01:00:10.760 --> 01:00:12.440
And then you're like, oh, I went and did this thing

1026
01:00:12.440 --> 01:00:13.360
and I didn't work out.

1027
01:00:13.360 --> 01:00:14.760
So now what I'm going to do?

1028
01:00:14.760 --> 01:00:16.000
No, it's not like that.

1029
01:00:16.000 --> 01:00:18.080
And I feel like that's kind of what you're saying.

1030
01:00:18.080 --> 01:00:19.240
It's kind of like, well, I did move.

1031
01:00:19.240 --> 01:00:20.160
And then I did this.

1032
01:00:20.160 --> 01:00:21.080
And then I had that.

1033
01:00:21.080 --> 01:00:22.920
And I had started over.

1034
01:00:22.920 --> 01:00:24.760
And I get that.

1035
01:00:24.760 --> 01:00:27.720
But maybe you look back and you go,

1036
01:00:27.800 --> 01:00:29.120
why did those things happen?

1037
01:00:34.040 --> 01:00:36.840
Did I play a part in that?

1038
01:00:36.840 --> 01:00:38.240
Was that just circumstantial?

1039
01:00:38.240 --> 01:00:43.560
Did life just happen to me in that?

1040
01:00:43.560 --> 01:00:47.440
And asking yourself the question is like, well, if it wasn't me

1041
01:00:47.440 --> 01:00:51.400
and life was just happening to me, that sucks.

1042
01:00:51.400 --> 01:00:53.800
But how can you put yourself in a position

1043
01:00:53.800 --> 01:00:55.640
where life doesn't happen to you like that?

1044
01:00:58.280 --> 01:00:59.080
That's the curious.

1045
01:00:59.080 --> 01:01:02.920
So it's a continuous, curious question,

1046
01:01:02.920 --> 01:01:05.480
not a never-ending thing like, oh, you never

1047
01:01:05.480 --> 01:01:11.880
get to the answer, but just a pursuit of authenticity,

1048
01:01:11.880 --> 01:01:13.200
pursuit of truth.

1049
01:01:13.200 --> 01:01:17.240
Have you been, were you married once before?

1050
01:01:17.240 --> 01:01:20.480
Yeah, my wife passed away about 10 years ago.

1051
01:01:20.480 --> 01:01:21.920
What's the starting over for you?

1052
01:01:21.920 --> 01:01:25.360
Marriage, career, what is it?

1053
01:01:25.360 --> 01:01:27.160
Yeah, my wife passed about 10 years ago.

1054
01:01:27.760 --> 01:01:30.720
And I have to be realistic about my,

1055
01:01:30.720 --> 01:01:32.320
because I'm standing in the blessing.

1056
01:01:32.320 --> 01:01:33.280
I have a house.

1057
01:01:33.280 --> 01:01:35.680
I have a job that actually allowed me to buy a house.

1058
01:01:35.680 --> 01:01:38.840
So I know that it's a fake.

1059
01:01:38.840 --> 01:01:40.960
It's a lie that I have not progressed,

1060
01:01:40.960 --> 01:01:45.560
that I have not built a life that is better.

1061
01:01:45.560 --> 01:01:46.920
Yeah.

1062
01:01:46.920 --> 01:01:48.280
Yeah.

1063
01:01:48.280 --> 01:01:49.720
Yeah, just be honest with yourself.

1064
01:01:49.720 --> 01:01:50.600
You know what?

1065
01:01:50.600 --> 01:01:53.080
I'm not going to believe that lie anymore.

1066
01:01:53.080 --> 01:01:54.680
I'm going to start really focusing in

1067
01:01:54.680 --> 01:01:57.400
on the things that are positive and good.

1068
01:01:57.400 --> 01:01:59.440
And then what are the things that I

1069
01:01:59.440 --> 01:02:02.000
want out of that good thing?

1070
01:02:02.000 --> 01:02:04.720
I want this house that I have, that I have this great job.

1071
01:02:04.720 --> 01:02:06.360
I want it to be a home.

1072
01:02:06.360 --> 01:02:13.280
So therefore, that's the focus for your want right there.

1073
01:02:13.280 --> 01:02:14.000
That's something.

1074
01:02:14.000 --> 01:02:15.880
You're like, OK, I want that.

1075
01:02:15.880 --> 01:02:17.840
Do you feel like you can't have that?

1076
01:02:17.840 --> 01:02:20.240
Do you feel like you're unworthy of having that?

1077
01:02:20.240 --> 01:02:21.600
If you do, that's a lie.

1078
01:02:22.560 --> 01:02:24.440
Yeah.

1079
01:02:24.440 --> 01:02:28.280
I think that's what I was saying before.

1080
01:02:28.280 --> 01:02:30.080
It's not that I can't have it.

1081
01:02:30.080 --> 01:02:32.320
It's that I ran out of time.

1082
01:02:32.320 --> 01:02:35.440
I've made bad choices in relationships.

1083
01:02:35.440 --> 01:02:40.000
And now I'm out of time.

1084
01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:40.640
God had it.

1085
01:02:40.640 --> 01:02:42.400
He's like, hey, your 30s is a great time.

1086
01:02:42.400 --> 01:02:44.160
I know you wanted kids.

1087
01:02:44.160 --> 01:02:46.600
So we're going to get you rearranged.

1088
01:02:46.600 --> 01:02:48.440
And somehow, that's the arrogance,

1089
01:02:48.480 --> 01:02:50.560
is that somehow me, little Chris,

1090
01:02:50.560 --> 01:02:53.360
derailed the God of the universe's plan

1091
01:02:53.360 --> 01:02:56.000
by some of my silly choices.

1092
01:02:56.000 --> 01:02:57.120
Yeah.

1093
01:02:57.120 --> 01:03:02.440
Yeah, no, I mean, everything's redeemable, truly.

1094
01:03:02.440 --> 01:03:05.360
I don't mean that just like, oh, it's OK.

1095
01:03:05.360 --> 01:03:07.360
I mean, yeah, you probably did screw up.

1096
01:03:07.360 --> 01:03:09.560
You probably did mess up with those relationships.

1097
01:03:09.560 --> 01:03:10.280
But so what?

1098
01:03:14.840 --> 01:03:16.480
So what?

1099
01:03:16.480 --> 01:03:19.600
What did you learn from it?

1100
01:03:19.600 --> 01:03:24.000
And you're like, OK, yeah, I'm getting, I'm just,

1101
01:03:24.000 --> 01:03:25.640
and it really does, a lot of times,

1102
01:03:25.640 --> 01:03:27.160
does come down to really kind of,

1103
01:03:27.160 --> 01:03:29.760
it's kind of counterintuitive, getting the attention off

1104
01:03:29.760 --> 01:03:33.800
of ourselves onto sort of the greater thing.

1105
01:03:33.800 --> 01:03:35.520
Because what do you want also leads you

1106
01:03:35.520 --> 01:03:39.400
into a grander thing that is kind of beyond you.

1107
01:03:39.400 --> 01:03:42.160
It's kind of like people say this all the time,

1108
01:03:42.160 --> 01:03:44.600
people like Tony Robbins or those kind of people

1109
01:03:44.600 --> 01:03:53.320
say the things like, if you can solve the great mystery

1110
01:03:53.320 --> 01:03:54.840
of your life, the great big want,

1111
01:03:54.840 --> 01:03:58.440
and you can figure it all out, your vision is too small.

1112
01:03:58.440 --> 01:04:01.440
Like your vision and what do you want out of life,

1113
01:04:01.440 --> 01:04:05.880
your goal should be bigger than what you can

1114
01:04:05.880 --> 01:04:08.480
understand accomplishing it.

1115
01:04:08.480 --> 01:04:11.080
So that causes you to stretch, to reach out to something

1116
01:04:11.080 --> 01:04:13.960
that's like, wow, I want that.

1117
01:04:13.960 --> 01:04:15.400
I'm going to go after that.

1118
01:04:15.400 --> 01:04:17.280
I'm going to go for that.

1119
01:04:17.280 --> 01:04:21.160
And again, that could be a mission-oriented idea.

1120
01:04:21.160 --> 01:04:23.440
That could be a career that's tied to a mission

1121
01:04:23.440 --> 01:04:25.480
sort of oriented idea.

1122
01:04:25.480 --> 01:04:27.480
That could be something that you start

1123
01:04:27.480 --> 01:04:30.040
that's like a business or some initiative.

1124
01:04:30.040 --> 01:04:33.800
That could be like, I want to take massive action right now

1125
01:04:33.800 --> 01:04:36.960
in my family, because even though I have a close

1126
01:04:36.960 --> 01:04:39.200
relationship with my kids, I don't

1127
01:04:39.200 --> 01:04:43.440
have the direct connection with each child like I want.

1128
01:04:43.440 --> 01:04:45.120
So there's a short-term mission that I'm

1129
01:04:45.120 --> 01:04:49.480
going to do to say, I'm going to schedule 30 minutes

1130
01:04:49.480 --> 01:04:51.040
with every single one of my kids.

1131
01:04:51.040 --> 01:04:55.360
And I have three kids, and they have three spouses.

1132
01:04:55.360 --> 01:04:58.440
And my oldest is about to be married, so he's engaged.

1133
01:04:58.440 --> 01:05:01.200
So that means I've got six kids.

1134
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.760
I've got to follow up with, because I'm going to be in, so I decided in my head, in my heart,

1135
01:05:06.760 --> 01:05:12.920
I'm going to be in relationship with my children, including my, my in-laws.

1136
01:05:12.920 --> 01:05:19.200
So I'm going to, I'm going to go after trying to connect with each one of them consistently.

1137
01:05:19.200 --> 01:05:25.440
That's a big goal of mine because I want to have, I'm focused right now in my life on

1138
01:05:25.440 --> 01:05:33.800
the accomplishment goal of my life is to accomplish something so that I can leave the legacy.

1139
01:05:33.800 --> 01:05:42.360
I want to, when I pass from this earth, I'm 54, I'm going to give myself 30, 40, 50 years.

1140
01:05:42.360 --> 01:05:46.720
I'm just going to be, I'm just going to be really, really like, you know, like, I don't

1141
01:05:46.720 --> 01:05:47.720
know.

1142
01:05:47.720 --> 01:05:52.360
I'm going to give myself a lot of time, so I don't know, but I'm not going to cut myself

1143
01:05:52.360 --> 01:05:53.360
short is all I'm saying.

1144
01:05:53.360 --> 01:05:58.440
I'm going to give myself a lot of time, but what I'm saying is I want for the next many

1145
01:05:58.440 --> 01:06:04.440
decades, I want to establish something that I can not only hand off to my kids, not just

1146
01:06:04.440 --> 01:06:14.480
give away, but like actually set up a structure, a wealth, family, generational business structure

1147
01:06:14.480 --> 01:06:18.400
that they can then run with their vision in.

1148
01:06:18.400 --> 01:06:22.320
And that's a lofty big goal.

1149
01:06:22.320 --> 01:06:25.480
It's huge, but it is my mission in life right now.

1150
01:06:25.480 --> 01:06:30.640
That's my, that's my great, great dream and purpose, you know?

1151
01:06:30.640 --> 01:06:35.160
So that takes, there's a lot of work, a lot of research, a lot of learning, a lot of curiosity,

1152
01:06:35.160 --> 01:06:43.160
a lot of goal setting, a lot of changed behavior in me to get to that point, a lot of stuff

1153
01:06:43.160 --> 01:06:44.520
on the line.

1154
01:06:44.520 --> 01:06:49.520
So I don't have time to sit around and think about, well, when am I going to, I'm done,

1155
01:06:49.520 --> 01:06:54.200
I'm over with, I'm just going to sit here and in the easy chair and watch football for

1156
01:06:54.200 --> 01:06:57.640
the rest of my life because I'm just an old guy, you know what I'm saying?

1157
01:06:57.640 --> 01:06:59.280
So I don't have, I don't have the time to do that.

1158
01:06:59.280 --> 01:07:08.400
So when you have a vision like that, that becomes like, wow, I got, I got work to do.

1159
01:07:08.400 --> 01:07:15.820
I got stuff to be about, I got something to wake up in the morning for instead of just

1160
01:07:15.820 --> 01:07:21.660
laying there and going, I don't want to sleep another 15 minutes, you know what I'm saying?

1161
01:07:21.660 --> 01:07:22.660
Yeah.

1162
01:07:22.660 --> 01:07:26.460
And you're saying vision beyond the old vision.

1163
01:07:26.460 --> 01:07:28.700
Because that gives you something to reach out for.

1164
01:07:28.700 --> 01:07:29.700
Yeah.

1165
01:07:29.700 --> 01:07:30.700
Yeah.

1166
01:07:30.700 --> 01:07:31.700
Yeah.

1167
01:07:31.700 --> 01:07:35.340
And so if you, if you can start dreaming that way and start thinking that way and start

1168
01:07:35.340 --> 01:07:42.580
like just being open to it, being curious about it, it leads you into a greater version

1169
01:07:42.580 --> 01:07:48.860
of yourself because you're living beyond yourself and now you're not living in regret.

1170
01:07:48.860 --> 01:07:51.540
You're not living in a limitation of time.

1171
01:07:51.540 --> 01:07:56.220
You're not living in a, oh, I've only done this and this, you know, who, what, what does

1172
01:07:56.220 --> 01:07:57.840
it matter?

1173
01:07:57.840 --> 01:08:07.180
I'm 39 pressing 40 and like, literally I turned, when I turned 50, a good friend of mine, I

1174
01:08:07.180 --> 01:08:11.580
was lamenting and I said, yeah, my birthday's in a couple of days, I'm about to turn 50.

1175
01:08:11.580 --> 01:08:12.580
I said it just like that.

1176
01:08:12.580 --> 01:08:20.500
I'm like, man, I'm turning 50 and he goes, oh, and this guy was turning 60 and he goes,

1177
01:08:20.500 --> 01:08:22.580
oh, the fifties are your greatest decade.

1178
01:08:22.580 --> 01:08:23.580
I'm like, what?

1179
01:08:23.580 --> 01:08:28.660
He goes, oh yeah, no, your fifties are, your fifties are great.

1180
01:08:28.660 --> 01:08:29.660
I'm like, what?

1181
01:08:29.660 --> 01:08:31.340
You gotta be kidding me.

1182
01:08:31.340 --> 01:08:33.340
He goes, oh yeah, that's great.

1183
01:08:33.340 --> 01:08:34.340
I'm like, okay.

1184
01:08:34.340 --> 01:08:39.100
And I literally took that as I believed him.

1185
01:08:39.100 --> 01:08:43.180
And then I started like, oh my gosh, my fifties are great.

1186
01:08:43.180 --> 01:08:46.979
Like I've been like seeing life differently.

1187
01:08:46.979 --> 01:08:50.660
And if, and quite honestly, this is a real statistic.

1188
01:08:50.660 --> 01:08:56.020
There is actually more productivity, especially financially.

1189
01:08:56.020 --> 01:09:04.460
The greatest decade financially of like financial achievement in most men's lives is actually

1190
01:09:04.460 --> 01:09:05.460
their 60th decade.

1191
01:09:05.460 --> 01:09:12.939
I don't know if you knew that or not, but where, where, where most wealth, like if you're

1192
01:09:12.939 --> 01:09:18.460
talking just wealth and like money building, like you can make a million dollars a year,

1193
01:09:18.460 --> 01:09:20.500
like in your, like say you're like an early millionaire.

1194
01:09:20.500 --> 01:09:21.500
Okay, great.

1195
01:09:21.500 --> 01:09:22.500
Good for you.

1196
01:09:22.500 --> 01:09:28.180
But if you steward that wealth and you turn it into like hundreds of millions or you take

1197
01:09:28.180 --> 01:09:34.779
your tens of thousands and turned it into a couple million, the greatest, like the greatest

1198
01:09:34.779 --> 01:09:40.740
ramping up or that, that curve that goes up in finance average on average, the greatest

1199
01:09:40.740 --> 01:09:44.740
growth period in, in, in men's lives is their sixties.

1200
01:09:44.740 --> 01:09:51.939
Believe it or not, that's because men that are actually wealthy or have some sort of

1201
01:09:51.939 --> 01:09:56.340
wealth to speak of, they've actually learned enough in their life.

1202
01:09:56.340 --> 01:09:59.980
They've actually gained enough, garnered enough resources.

1203
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.560
their life to the point at their 60s, by the time they hit 60, they have put it into motion

1204
01:10:06.560 --> 01:10:16.560
to where the ramping up of that success and the accumulation and the multiplication of that growth

1205
01:10:17.120 --> 01:10:22.720
happens more on average in their 60s than any other decade. It's true.

1206
01:10:23.520 --> 01:10:28.240
So, I'm just saying, you've got actually a lot to look forward to.

1207
01:10:31.040 --> 01:10:36.320
All right. Your lips to God's ears. I'm all for it. And I think I do need to be more realistic

1208
01:10:36.320 --> 01:10:43.840
in my self-talk and what I mentioned previously, that I do have more to give. I am valuable to

1209
01:10:43.840 --> 01:10:48.480
Kingdom. And also, in the relationships, I did make mistakes. I've been honest about it, but

1210
01:10:49.440 --> 01:10:53.120
it wasn't just me. There were two people in that relationship.

1211
01:10:53.120 --> 01:10:55.520
Yeah, absolutely. A thousand percent.

1212
01:10:55.520 --> 01:10:57.680
I got to remember that it wasn't always me.

1213
01:10:58.560 --> 01:11:04.560
Yeah. A thousand percent. Absolutely. What is your career? Just curious. Again,

1214
01:11:04.560 --> 01:11:06.640
I probably asked you before, but...

1215
01:11:07.520 --> 01:11:12.320
You got a million people to keep track of, though. I'm in law enforcement. I'm a dispatcher.

1216
01:11:12.320 --> 01:11:14.480
I answer 911, do the radio for police.

1217
01:11:14.480 --> 01:11:20.560
Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. Wow. So, do you want to advance in that career?

1218
01:11:22.160 --> 01:11:27.280
Oh, yeah. I do want to go into supervising and all that. I really do think this is

1219
01:11:27.280 --> 01:11:33.200
finally the calling. I was a teacher for a decade. And through a series of circumstances

1220
01:11:33.200 --> 01:11:38.480
that I believe was God-led, I'm now in this entirely different career that doesn't match

1221
01:11:38.480 --> 01:11:42.720
the thing I went to college for. But I do think I landed where I belong.

1222
01:11:43.440 --> 01:11:51.040
Okay. Awesome. Praise God. Okay. Cool. God, well, I bless you in that. Speak life over that. Awesome.

1223
01:11:52.160 --> 01:11:56.160
All right, guys. We're well beyond the time. Thanks for paying attention. Thanks for sharing.

1224
01:11:56.160 --> 01:12:03.440
All of you guys that had stuff to just kind of share and gather together, thank you for

1225
01:12:03.440 --> 01:12:08.160
being here. Thank you for being faithful. Thank you for being good, godly men. We need you,

1226
01:12:08.320 --> 01:12:14.000
and we need more of you. So, in Jesus' name, I pray a blessing over each one of these,

1227
01:12:14.000 --> 01:12:18.000
those that had to get off and leave early, and those that will watch this and replay,

1228
01:12:18.000 --> 01:12:21.360
I just bless you, speak life over you, speak health, wealth, and knowledge,

1229
01:12:22.000 --> 01:12:29.360
and growth in Jesus' name. Amen and amen. Until next time, guys. God bless.