I'm going to invite you all to come on screen if you can so I can see your amazing faces.
If you're driving, I understand if you can't turn it on or you're eating, but for those
of you that are able, would love to see you come online with me.
Hello.
Welcome.
I'm starting tonight.
For some of you, you might be brand new.
My name is Bethany Cooper.
I'm one of the Master Heartwork Coaches here in our community and on the team with Last
Year Single.
I love being here with all of you.
Thank you on ... I just curled it really fast, you all.
I just have this little wave artist.
This is a trick.
It's a wave artist.
I don't have curly hair at all, I wish.
Most people that have curly hair would say I probably would wish I didn't have curly
hair.
I'm a hairstylist and so I know that there's both sides.
It's not easy on either side, but yeah, so I just crimp it up.
It's like an old style crimper, but it's a waver instead of the kinky crimp, for those
of you that know what crimpers are, that are older like me.
All right, well, that was just out of nowhere, but just welcome.
Hopefully that helps you feel a little more relaxed if you're joining us for the first
time.
No need to be nervous in here.
We're having a safe space.
We're going to grow.
We're going to heal, and we're going to stretch tonight.
Some of you that have been here for a while, you are going to hear some content that comes
back around every couple weeks, but hopefully you'll hear something new from the Father
tonight.
I didn't finish saying if you are brand new, if this is your first session, please let
us know that in the chat so that we can welcome you.
We want to make sure that we let you know that you are seen, that you are known, that
you're loved, and we're so glad that you're here.
On that note, a couple housekeeping things, just as always, as I invited you all to come
on camera with me, I want you to remember this is about coming out of hiding as you
are healing and really praying into if you are afraid to come on camera, because I know
I'm not saying that everybody that's not on camera right now is in that place, but you
all, I just have been doing this for a long time, people don't like to see themselves
on camera, and there's a lot of internal struggles that happen.
People don't like to see themselves in the mirror, and so if that is something that you
struggle with, now is the time to really lean into, okay, where did that start for you?
Where did that struggle begin?
What's the negative internal dialogue that you're hearing the enemy say to you when you
have those feelings or thoughts, and let's get set free from those to the best of your
ability.
So if that is something that you really struggle with, coming on camera, allowing yourself
to be seen, allowing yourself to be heard, some people just really struggle to believe
that their voice matters, we have some people this afternoon, one of the ladies, I know
she's been here for a little while, she shared for the first time ever live, which was great,
and she said, even out loud, I'm going to do my intro post this week, because she hasn't
done that yet, the intro post, you all, that helps us get to know you.
So even if you've been here for weeks or months, there's no shame, okay, if you haven't done
an intro post yet, but do one so that your sisters can get to know you better, so that
we can get to know you better.
Again, this is how we start saying and agreeing with that God created us for connection, He
created us for community and family, and hey, I'm going to fight against the fleshly lie
that tells me that I don't matter, and I'm just better off to be a wallflower, you know,
I'm a wallflower, partnering with those things is not healthy for us, so great job on those
that have been doing your intro posts, we've been loving seeing them, I see that Renee
is here for her first session, welcome Renee, anyone else here for your first time, oh Kathleen,
I see, oh there's two Renee's, Renee Alcorn and Renee, I don't know if I'm going to say
your name right, Luong, is that close?
Close enough, it's Luong, thank you.
Luong, I will work on it, I will work on it, for anybody that has tricky names, if you
guys, when you do your introduction post, even if you've already done one, you don't
have to go back and edit it, but if you do an introduction post, if you put the pronunciations
in there for us, I love saying people's names right, so if I have pronunciation, just like
if I'm studying the Greek or Hebrew, it helps me kind of, not that I always get it right
even seeing that, but it does help, right, so on that note, keep coming out of hiding,
let yourself be seen, known, heart posture in this journey is key, you all, okay, so
what do I mean by that?
I mean, come in with a teachable heart.
I came into this program, I had already gone through counseling, I had worked with coaches,
I had been taking heart healing.
in classes, I had been working on a mental health certification. And so, you know, yeah,
I could have totally come in with the attitude of I already know this stuff, right. But if I
come in with that attitude, then my heart is already closed to potentially receiving revelation
that I need to be set free. Because I clearly needed more help because I kept attracting
unhealthy men and falling for all the tricks. So there were things I needed to learn, things I
needed to be set free from that I did not know were still underneath the surface. And so be
teachable, have an open heart, let go of any kind of stubborn attitudes that might try to pop up or
mindsets that tell you, you know, I've already heard something like this before. And hopefully
that doesn't happen. But I do love to help people just kind of circle back and remember that from
time to time. Supernatural Saturday this past Saturday is titled Don't Worry, Be Happy. That's
just a part of it. There are so many layers to what Jackie started unpacking on Saturday,
including what like knowing and discerning what is God's will. And if you were not able to join
Sunday night activation last night, she did go live in there for part of that and did a little
bit more deep dive into how do we know what is God's will. And so if that replay is not up,
we don't always put Sunday night replays up. We only do it on occasion, but we are going to put
this one up. And so check that replay out if you have time and make sure you listen to Supernatural
Saturday first. I will tell you on our team meeting, we talked at length about this. This
is a topic we're going to be diving into more and more in the days ahead. We definitely believe in
the prophetic. We definitely believe in the supernatural. But even myself in helping pastor
the church that we pastor here in Florida, people depend too much on that versus growing their
muscles on how to make a healthy decision. And so many of us, even as children, some of the
trainings my husband and I are doing right now, so many of us as children, if we are neglected,
if we are not cared for properly, even if our parents intended to, okay, here's the reality.
If we didn't develop decision-making capabilities as a young child, young teenager,
that can affect us as adults. And so we have to build muscles in areas that are needed that can
help us make healthier decisions in the future and not be afraid that if I make a decision and
it's wrong, like lightning's going to strike me or something like that. And I know that might seem
like, well, that's kind of extreme, but you all, basically people are saying that when they're
saying, I can't make this decision because if I do, it's going to mess everything up. God's going to
be mad at me. Or, you know, I'm going to pick the wrong guy. Here's the reality. Even when I picked
the wrong people, God helped me every step of the way. Sometimes I wasn't listening. That's the reality.
Sometimes I wanted to keep going because I thought they were the person. So we want to help you all
develop a little bit more strength in this area where you're going to grow in your muscles of
foundation building, like how to grow in your foundation, the capability of making healthy
decisions based on wisdom, which aligns with the truth of God's word. But we're going to help
you with that. So check those out. It's definitely going to be really good for you. And like I said,
we're going to keep unpacking that more in the days to come. Let me pray for us. And we're going
to go ahead and dive into tonight's content. Father, thank you so much for this night. God,
thank you for already just the things that we're talking about. Lord, I pray that you would help
every lady here to receive everything that you have for them. Those that are going to watch the
replay, God, that you would help them just to, yeah, Lord, revealings for healing one after
another, after another, after another, that breakthroughs will come where there's been
a stoppage, a blockage, an obstacle in the past. God, we thank you that you would bring,
yeah, just healing rain tonight as well. We thank you for mercy. We thank you for grace in this space,
in this room. We ask you just to silence every voice of the enemy, that you would help us, God,
to hear your voice louder than any other voice, that where the enemy has been defiling our camp,
so to speak, and hindering us in any way with anxiety, with fear, with torment, Lord, we thank
you for freedom and liberty where the spirit is, there is liberty, there's freedom for the captives.
And so, Holy Spirit, we ask you to come and have your way, that you would just come with the key
and unlock the door and help us to walk right out of the prisons that we've been living in. God,
we thank you for upgrades.
mindsets. We know that our hearts and our minds are connected.
So what we're just asking for healing on the inside that would impact the
outside more and more and more as the night goes on and Jesus name. Amen.
So ladies, we're, we're talking about anxiety and fear.
We're going to work on overcoming that a little bit more tonight. Um,
and you know,
I really want to encourage you as we start to unpack this,
just to be thinking about how has fear or anxiety tried to show up in your life
I try to do like when I ask you all this the last week. Okay.
Because if we try to go too far back right now, um, you might be like, well,
I don't know. I don't know. So let's just look at the last week, you know,
thinking about where has fear or anxiety tried to come against you.
Or this also came up this afternoon.
I think this is a really important thing to consider.
Where has it come against someone that is close to you that you love and they've
been really battling with anxiety or fear.
And so therefore you have been impacted by their anxiety and fear.
That makes sense. So just be thinking about where has that shown up.
And as that comes to you,
I would love for y'all to go ahead and put that in the chat for me.
Don't feel like you have to, you can say it however you want to,
but don't feel like you have to tell a big long story. Just let us know kind of,
okay, this is where I saw this showing up fear or anxiety.
Some of y'all might've felt panic. You might've felt worry. Okay.
So maybe yours wasn't fear or anxiety,
but worry and panic are connected to those.
So let's go ahead and put those in the chat as well. All right.
So as I start to watch for those,
I want to go ahead and start tracking through just in Proverbs 4,
23, this is the ESV version. It's saying,
keep your heart with all vigilance for from it flows the springs of life.
So think about this ladies, as I was even praying, if,
if there's a something in us, in our hearts,
that is stopping up the dam, if you will, the flow of the spirit,
well then is life going to be able to spring forth from that? Okay.
It's not saying that it can't spring forth at all,
but what I am saying to you is that there are certain parts of our hearts where
because we are afraid because we're partnering with anxiety. And again,
sometimes this is happening subconsciously. It's not like we're just choosing.
I just want to be afraid or I just want to have anxiety. No,
there are things inside of us internally that are getting triggered when things
are happening. And those are telling us lies. For example,
years ago, um, as I grew up as a child, um, y'all,
I had massive fear of the dark,
like so bad that I would run from one side of the room,
no joke to the other because I was afraid people were looking in the windows at
me when it was dark time.
It was not something I was afraid of during the daytime,
but it was during the dark time. Now I can absolutely hindsight now as an adult.
And after years of healing, I can look back and be like, okay,
that is somehow related and connected to the sexual abuse and all the things that
I was going through. Okay.
But the reality is is it showed up when I would be going from downstairs to the
upstairs. Well, a lot of the abuse happened in the basement.
But when I started giving into that stuff,
then it started creeping into more areas of my life. Okay.
And then I worked a lot to overcome that.
After I gave my life to the Lord learned the truth that says I don't have to have
a spirit of fear,
but I can have a spirit of love and of power and of a sound mind that is truth.
You all that will set you free.
But it's not just like you snap your fingers and it's gone.
That's not how it works. So if anybody tries to shame you,
um, with scripture, I just want, I just want you to understand.
You're not going to just be instantly like, okay, this is just done.
Now there are some people that get like automatically delivered. Okay.
So I'm not saying that that never happens, but most people,
it's a process and we have to guard our hearts and our minds through Christ
Jesus. We have to stand up to that stuff and say, no,
I'm not going to partner with you fear.
I'm partnering with the spirit of love and of power and of a sound mind.
So when I would feel that stuff come on me, even as an adult,
I had to resist that,
that desire to run and walk and partner with peace and declare that scripture
over myself. Now, when I went back, um,
many years later then after I'd been kind of set free from that and victorious,
when I found out the girl's dad was cheating, um, you know,
I just really, it really sent me reeling, um, pretty deeply.
And I would have,
I had what I would call now today a panic attack, um,
crying and just like, God, why did you do like blaming God for all of it?
Right. And, uh,
Um, and then I started realizing just a few weeks after that, I was driving to
work and I was angry with God.
And I said to him, why did you make me this way?
And I was talking to him about the anxiety that I was struggling with.
Because after I found out about all those betrayals, one of the women started
stalking me online and started treating me like I was the bad person.
It was crazy.
You all, I felt like I was in this like crazy movie.
I'm like, is this really happening?
Um, and I just started like, at that time I was long before I came into this
community, but I had just had this online conference.
I was, I was really public with my faith.
And, uh, and when that happened, I just felt this like retreat feeling like I
just pulled off all my online stuff because this woman was like stalking me
everywhere.
She just kept showing up on all my different online platforms, DMing me and
sending me just horrible things, things I never wanted to know about her and the
girl's dad as well.
And, and all of that.
And so I'm sharing all that with you to say this, that when I partnered with the
retreat, the anxiety increased, it didn't go away.
And so that day in the car, that's why I was saying that to God, like, why did you
make me this way?
And you know what he said back to me?
He said, I didn't.
And I was like, aren't literally you all not like out loud, but I was having this
internal dialogue and argument with the Lord.
Right.
And I was like, yes, you did.
I've been like this forever because as long as I could remember back to being a
kid, I could remember all this fear and anxiety and panic.
And the Lord said, Bethany, I did not make you that way.
Trauma and the things that happened to you, like that's what's caused all this.
That was the open door.
And so I really started leaning into that a lot.
And again, this is before I came into Jackie's community.
And so when I came in and started learning the heart work, it was like all these dots
started getting connected because it all made sense even more than it already did
before that time.
And so I'm sharing that with you to say this, we can also conquer something in a
prior season and then go through something later that because of the depth of the
pain that we feel, it unlocks another Pandora's box, so to speak.
OK, because there was another part of my heart and life that all that betrayal and
all that stuff linked right into my dad leaving our family and betraying my mom and
betraying us. And I had dealt with that quite a bit, you all, before that point.
But it was very real how deeply that went in me.
And so it was another revealing for healing.
And it basically gave me another level.
OK, this is what I want to encourage you with.
When I overcame this, this most current time, when all that anxiety flooded in and
God was having that conversation with me in the car and then I started learning and
realizing, wait a minute, OK, God did not like I wasn't born with anxiety.
I wasn't born this way.
That's something I learned.
It's something I learned, it's something that I even without meaning to partnered
with and because I learned it and I partnered with it, it grew right now, obviously
the enemy assaults us and attacks us and all of that.
OK, that's a part of that.
But I want you to understand, man, when I got set free from this now, guess what?
You ever have you ever have any of you ever played a video game?
Anybody Mario Brothers or anything?
Yeah. OK, so you'll get this analogy then, at least most of you.
So it's like collecting coins, if you will.
OK, I leveled up.
That's what happened here.
And the second situation when I overcame all the lies and everything that flooded in on
that time, not only did I have this prior victory to to grow from of overcoming fear
and anxiety, but now now I knew the enemy's tactic and I had his number.
Now, I don't I don't go after looking for the devil, y'all, but this is important, I
want you to understand that there are layers to healing, there's layers to
forgiveness, there's layers to revelation, and sometimes you all are going to
encounter things that you're like, what the heck?
I thought I overcame this already.
And you're going to feel this frustration.
I want you to know it's normal.
But I I want to just declare over the over all of you that if you just keep going, if
you keep asking God really good questions, because that's what I did in the car that
day, I was like totally honest with God, like, why did you make me this way?
Because that's what I was believing.
And He lovingly responded with the truth.
And because of that, we had a deeper conversation, right?
But I had to keep asking Him and talking to Him.
And then I had to listen to the truth through the heart work
and really lean into, okay, where did this really start for me?
Why did the enemy have this inroad into my mind and my heart?
Like, okay, where is this rooted at?
Are there other aspects within me that I partner with,
you know, fear or anxiety or panic or worry?
Because I want to get this stuff out.
And so if you are someone that has struggled with those things
or even any kind of other battle,
I just want you to know, don't give up, okay?
God loves you.
He wants to set you free more than you even want to be set free.
I know that might be hard to imagine,
but He wants you set free more than you even desire to be set free.
So be vigilant.
Have this alert, like vigilance is being alertly watchful.
It's watching out to avoid danger.
But here's the reality.
Know that Jesus is sitting at the right hand of the Father interceding for you,
that we have this armor of God that we can put on every day.
And one of the armor pieces is, hey, right at the tail end of that scripture,
it talks about the glory of the Lord being our rear guard.
So guess what, ladies?
God protects us on every side.
I want you to hear that.
There was even this story in the Bible,
if you guys haven't read it before,
and I don't even remember the name of the person,
but it's when, you know, basically the servant, the person,
I'm sorry, I'm drawing a blank,
or I would just tell you who it was in the Bible,
but he's like basically praying for his servant's eyes to be opened
because he knew in the Spirit,
he could see in the Spirit that God was with them.
And when he prayed for his servant's eyes to be opened,
y'all, a whole host of army angels was there.
Yeah, it was either Elijah or Elisha.
That's what I was thinking too, Amanda,
but I didn't want to say the wrong one.
But so I want you all to start to think of the thing that you are struggling with.
And even like, I know I haven't gotten back to everything y'all put in the chat,
but God sees them.
I might not get back to that, but it matters that you put it in there.
But basically, I want you to imagine like that's the reality,
whether we realize it or not,
is that there's this host of angel armies
that God sends out to war and fight for us and with us
when we are trying to overcome things,
when we are fighting to get the breakthrough that we need.
Fear is false evidence appearing real.
So the things that y'all put in the chat,
I'll go ahead.
I might not get to everybody's,
but I'm going to read a couple of these right now.
Let's see here.
Fear around finances, fear that came from mom, fear and work.
Let's see here.
Parents, oh, parents fears and it's leaking onto us.
Yeah, more about work, frequently stressed
because having trouble with keeping up with demands.
Yeah, a lot of overwhelm.
Some of that can, you know, come from how we're made too.
We have a lot of high level responsibility.
And so then when other people aren't doing their things,
then we feel more fear or stress.
Let's see here.
Another from mom.
Anxiety about getting stuck, anxiety all through school.
I mean, these are all, if y'all just keep reading those
and think about those.
Okay, where is the false evidence appearing real?
So let's just take school, for example.
I know that there's a lot of people,
even I have a friend right now here in the church.
She said to me one day, well, I never went to college.
And she kind of said it in a conversation
where she felt kind of internally counted out.
Like she couldn't do something
because she hadn't been to college.
And I was like, well, do you want to go to college now?
I mean, that was just my response to her
because here's the thing we needed to get to the root of.
Okay, well, why was that what she said?
Right?
And she was feeling like God calling her into something new,
but she was hearing this lie that she couldn't do it
because she hadn't been to college.
Okay, now maybe the other people's is something
like you were trying to do schoolwork
and you just really struggled in a certain area as a kid.
My little Olivia, she's my youngest spiritual daughter.
She's not so young anymore, y'all.
She's 19, she's 20.
She's 20 now.
But when she was younger, she really struggled with math.
She struggled with spelling
and had a lot of anxiety and panic around homework time.
And that was a struggle.
It was a struggle even for me, because I was trying to help her, but she just was so stressed, I couldn't even, like, I didn't even know how to help her.
So, I don't know any parents in here, if you've ever been through that with your kids, it's a very stressful situation sometimes, when you want to help them and you don't know how to help them overcome their own panic or anxiety.
So, parents, maybe your kids are battling that, okay?
Because sometimes things can jump a generation, maybe it was mom and dad or grandparents that struggled with anxiety and panic, and now it's showing up in your kids.
And you might not have battled that, so you may not fully understand.
You know, there's just all kinds of levels of this, but where is the false evidence appearing real?
What is the enemy trying to convince you of that is not truth?
So, we want to also understand that anxiety is fueled by fear.
So, they all kind of work together, but anxiety fuels fear.
Anxiety are generally what-if thoughts, what if this happens, what if that happens, what if they say this about me, what if they think this, you know?
Where we just start to allow our minds to go down roads and paths that are not beneficial for us.
So, another example of how this starts to happen is, let's say, I'll give another example of someone that I was just ministering to on Sunday.
This is someone that's already struggling, kind of a little bit newer believer, and no matter where you're at in your walk with the Lord, this can happen.
She just has a lot of heart healing and some things that she's really needing God to minister to her in, and then she lost her job like a week ago.
And when she lost her job, kind of like the floodgate for me of when I found out about the betrayals, it just kind of unleashed all this other stuff.
And before, you know, she knew it, it's like, why did God do this to me?
Do you see how this works? Okay.
Well, what was really going on there is she's afraid. She's afraid.
She doesn't know if God's going to provide for her, you know, why did this happen, what did I do wrong?
And so this whole internal dialogue started to roll, this B-roll, if you will.
You know, when you're making a movie or any kind of video, you shoot the video and then you also have B-roll, okay?
So, I want you all to be thinking and talking to the Lord, like, what's the B-roll?
What's the B-roll? What's the subconscious dialogue that is happening behind the scenes, if you will,
that is constantly fueling what you're thinking and feeling about every situation you go through?
Trauma that happened to us isn't what stops us from living the amazing life that God has for us.
It's the lies that we believe as a result of the trauma.
So, that's what informs that B-roll that I'm talking about, okay?
That's what's informing the subconscious to tell you something that isn't true.
Fear and anxiety feed off of the lies we believe.
So, remember I'm saying fear is false evidence appearing real. That's fact number one.
Then anxiety is fueling that fear.
Well, fear and anxiety are built off of all these lies that we believe, right?
So, that's why in this course we talk a lot about we want to pray and ask God to help us get to the root of the matter.
That's where the revealing for healing process is so powerful.
When we look at problem areas or areas that we feel stuck or the areas that the enemy wants to convince us that we're never going to break free from this,
it's always going to be this way, I'm never going to find somebody who loves me,
whatever that starts to sound like for you, that is a signal that you are believing lies in those areas.
Yours might also sound like for some of you when you have a lot of self-deprecating thoughts, intrusive thoughts,
like you just, you feel really like a lot of self-pity internally, even if you don't mean to,
like you just tend to kind of cycle around the same kind of thoughts about your life,
and internally you feel very hopeless, okay?
Those are all feeding off of lies that you believe.
And so we need to ask the Lord to help us to identify what are the lies and where did they start, okay?
What are the lies and where did they start?
And this is going to happen even as some of you start to step out and to do some new things,
like, you know, we have some of our Phase 2 ladies, I think, here joining us tonight.
When you start to try to date again,
It's going to be, you're going to think when you go into phase two, you're going to be like,
yes, I've overcome this.
And then something's going to happen.
And you're like, oh my gosh.
And all these things are going to bubble up to the surface.
That's not a bad thing.
We want that to happen.
And hey, what better place for it to happen when you're here in this community and we can help you.
And that's what the coaching is for.
In the live sessions that we do as well as in the groups and community.
And so I want to look just really briefly at the heart workbook and page, my page, or sorry, 72.
Your page might be a little different.
I'm in chapter, hold on.
I try to at least tell you guys the chapter.
Now I'll make it a little easier for you.
Chapter five.
This is where she's talking about the heart womb.
Remember the heart, everything we, everything that's put in it, you know, it's got this womb in there.
Maybe the soil is really good.
And so everything you put in there is going to grow.
If you're putting a bunch of not good stuff in there, well, guess what's going to grow out of there.
Again, going back to that Proverbs 4.23, but this is where she's talking about the biggest lie.
That's what I want to focus on just for a few moments.
You know, the reality that not everybody even understands that the way they've been thinking and living is dysfunctional.
That it's not healthy, that God actually has greater ways of living and thinking for you.
And so sometimes what has to happen is we have to have somebody that says, Hey, this isn't healthy the way that you're thinking about this.
Like, I love you, but this is, this is the truth.
So for example, she says here, the biggest lie that we might believe in life is that our life is normal.
And what she's referring to is the brokenness that we have lived in and been raised in, or the way that we think that's broken.
Orphan mentalities, limiting beliefs, all of that stuff.
So many people that live broken lives believe it's reasonable to live that way.
They have inherited that emotional debt or trauma from their family.
And they think it's normal to be overweight, to be unhappy, to be unfaithful, to be in a relationship where someone mistreats you, or to be sick all the time.
They think it's okay to have massive amounts of debt and spend all their energy trying to figure out how to pay the bills.
Or an even more severe deception, like it's normal to abuse and hurt other people or yourself.
Or, Hey, she goes on, when, when we're abused, actually believing that this happens to everybody.
It doesn't happen to everybody.
Y'all, these aren't healthy ways to live.
Um, I can remember, and I love my mom, for those of you that have been around for a while, you know, she passed away back in 2022.
Um, but I learned a lot from my relationship with her and just even thinking back when I was growing up, um, my mom was a single mom of four.
So I'm not here to bash her or fault her.
I understand the dynamic of what she was dealing with and the ways that her own parents checked out.
Her dad committed suicide before I was even born.
I mean, there was just a lot going on in that whole family, a lot of abuse that trickled down through my mom's family.
Um, but what I do know is that my mom thankfully still did go to work.
Praise the Lord.
Because there are some parents that don't even go to work and, you know, provide nothing for their kids.
But my grandparents helped us out a lot, thankfully.
And we had a house to live in.
My mom did go to work, but when she came home, you all a lot, I remember her like just laying on the couch and watching TV.
And that like, that was the night or on the weekends, like she would be up in a room like all day.
She would never come down.
She like, literally, I can remember as a kid making trays of, you know, flowers and breakfast.
And I just wanted to make my mom happy.
Well, as a kid, if I flip that around and I start to look at what I wonder what was really going on in my head a little bit, you know, like as a kid, I had enough understanding to know my mom was sad and wouldn't get out of bed.
So there's things that, you know, that can start to even feed into that.
It's my responsibility to take care of an adult.
Now, you might think, well, how does that partner with fear or anxiety?
Well, if I'm not being taken care of as a kid in certain ways, and I feel neglected and abandoned in different levels, I wasn't allowed to have my emotions.
I was sent to my room a lot.
Well, then this other, these other fears and internal dialogue start to grow, don't they?
Most times they do.
So I just want you to be thinking about your own life.
Like, again, what happened and what were the things that were informing your thoughts, even as children?
children, and to know that God wants to teach you something new.
And so I feel like I've learned a lot about how to, you know, really create a loving environment
with family, with friends.
I don't get it perfect, you all, but I definitely do my best to try to create a new normal and
something that's based on God's love and his truth.
And some of that is like coming out of the dysfunction.
It's setting boundaries, even when it's hard with people that, you know, aren't healthy
so that I can have a healthier life in the days ahead.
So as we've been talking about all this tonight, I want you to also get really good at pausing
when you're going through situations and asking God, okay, what are the facts?
Because if I know that fear is false evidence appearing real, what are the facts?
What's the, like, what's true in this situation?
So if you're not sure what the facts are, what the truth is, you can go to the Word
and look at what the truth is, okay?
So what is the truth about you?
What does God say about you?
How does he feel about you?
How does he think?
You know, looking at that, but then you can also look at the truth of the situation.
For example, when I started really waking up to, okay, why am I letting this guy treat
me this way?
I don't know why I'm doing that.
Why am I doing that?
Well, the truth was I was afraid to lose the girls because I'd already been through that
with my ex-husband when he took my stepson from me and withheld him from me.
Because as soon as I said I wanted a divorce, I wasn't allowed to see him anymore.
And that was the thing, fear of losing the girls was fueling my decision to stay with
someone that was super toxic and unhealthy.
And then I had to unpack it more.
Okay, another truth is that, well, what am I teaching them by staying?
Right?
Because they were seeing me being mistreated over and over and over again.
After I broke up with their dad, Michaela, she was the older of the two.
This one night we were having a conversation and she ended up telling me that one time
when we were out to dinner, she saw her dad texting another woman and she felt terrible
because she knew that she was a kid and she didn't know what to do.
And she carried that for all those years until she finally told me.
I mean, like we were able to kind of pinpoint, she was probably only 10 or 11.
She didn't tell me until she was like 17 or 18 years old.
And so those are the kind of things, even that can create a lot of anxiety and panic
in a kid.
Right?
So again, I'm just trying to stoke some things that maybe some of us have been through or
our kids have been through to help us look at these different dynamics.
And so I was able to give her the truth, like that was not her fault.
That was not her responsibility.
And you know, I was able to love on her and just like really minister to her regarding
just, you know, I'm sorry that that was even a situation that you were in.
It wasn't my fault that she was in that situation.
But I can still love her and try to help her process that.
Right?
And so God's trying to do the same for you tonight.
Where he's trying to come and say, Hey, like this happened to you.
And I'm really sorry that this is something that you went through.
That wasn't your fault.
It wasn't your responsibility.
You know, this fear and anxiety you've been battling because of that, I want to come in
and heal that.
And I want to be here with you.
And so I hope that you're starting just a sense just in that the vein of things that
God loves you and he wants to restore all the broken and fallen places.
So as we turn to him and get more and more rooted and grounded in his love, you know,
understanding who God is as love to us, not just to everybody else, but to us, that that
can help us overcome those fears more and more and more.
Just as a reminder, the more that we know the truth, that's what sets us free, right?
So the more that we know the truth of God's love, love is the opposite of fear.
Okay.
Well, faith is the opposite of fear too.
But I also think love is the opposite of it being rooted and grounded in it.
So are you someone who struggles with, okay, I, I know this is good right now, but I just
know the other shoe's going to drop.
Like this is only going to last for so long.
And then, you know, this is all there is to this.
If that is something that you struggle with, then fear and anxiety are probably running
rampant in your subconscious.
Do you tend to think of the worst case scenario instead of the best case scenario about people,
about situations?
Do you hear a siren and think something happened immediately to someone you love?
Are you someone?
When that, when, when people don't respond to your texts in the timeframe that you
think that they should add, you think things like, oh my gosh, they must be mad
at me, they don't care about me.
Or if it's a guy, he must be talking to someone else, especially if you've been
through betrayal before, that's going to show you where you're at regarding
being able to trust people.
I'm not pretty enough or good enough or whatever that dialogue is that starts to
happen because we're in this, this era where everybody's getting back to
everybody so fast.
There's like not no pause.
Right.
And so if you are someone that doesn't want to constantly like literally have your
phone constantly like, okay, I'm going to answer everybody right away later.
Then if you have friends that are insecure, well, what happens with those
friend dynamics?
It's not super healthy, is it?
Well, no, because they're, they're getting triggered all the time and they need you
to constantly tell them that you're good, you're good, you're good, you're good.
Y'all, if you have friends like that, I'm not saying just drop your, all your
friends.
Okay, don't, don't hear me saying that, but I want you to understand that that's
not healthy.
And, and sometimes the only way people will change is when we change and we set
boundaries and we say, Hey, I love you, but you know, um, I'm not going to text
past this time at night, or, you know, I was, you know, I'm at work and I'm not
going to respond to text messages during work hours or whatever.
And you can do that with friends.
You can do that when you go into phase two and you start dating again.
And guess what you all, we don't have to be afraid that these people are going to
stop caring about us.
And if that is something that we are afraid of, then we need to pay attention to
that too.
People approval runs rampant with fear and anxiety and, and really, you know, a
lot of people are afraid to actually say what they think and feel because they're
afraid the person's going to drop them in this unfriend society.
Right?
Okay.
Cause friends are ghosting friends now, even more than, than men and women are
ghosting each other.
It's happening more and more and more.
Let's really work on communicating and saying how we feel if they react and
don't handle it well, that's, that's on them, but we can do our best to be
healthy and walk in healthy patterns and habits.
Yeah.
Even, even our kids can ghost us.
Yeah.
And we can't change what people do.
We can't control them, but we can absolutely pray for them.
And we can try to, you know, again, live and thrive and hopefully that will
invite them into that place.
All right.
So first John four 18 in the amplified version says there's no fear in love.
Dread does not exist, but perfect, complete, full-grown love drives out fear
because fear involves the expectation of divine punishment.
So the one who is afraid of God's judgment is not perfected in love, which
mean has not grown into a sufficient understanding of God's love.
And I remember reading this a few years back and just thinking, wow, like, okay.
So if I have any fear in me, the truth is I have not been
perfected in love in that area.
So I want you just to think about that.
It's not saying we have to be for perfect or we're never going to have
any struggles or anything like that.
But I do want you to really consider and understand that if there's an area where
we are partnering with fear in that area, we have not grown into a sufficient
understanding of God's love for us.
And what would it look like to invite God into that area to give us a
deeper understanding of his love there?
John three 16 says for God to love the world that he gave his only begotten
son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
For many of you, you've heard this song before.
I'm going to read some song lyrics really quickly.
There's a song that I would love for y'all to listen to this week.
It's called fear is a liar by, by Zach Williams.
Even if you've heard it before, even if you listened to it before, after I coach
this, you know, this is where, again, I believe new information can be available
to us every single time because you're not who you were yesterday.
We had a lady, um, the same lady that shared for the first time this
afternoon, um, she got a revelation of something just by the way that
Andrea said it today, that's how, that's how simple like dots can get connected.
And sometimes you all, what it is, is we're at the right place at the right
time with the right heart for that revelation to come.
That's what's happening.
Okay.
Yes.
Oh, here are their lyrics. It says when he told you you're not
good enough. When he told you you're not right when he told
you you're not strong enough to put up a good fight. When he
told you you're not worthy when he told you you're not loved.
When he told you you're not beautiful, you'll never be
enough. Fear he is a liar. He will take your breath, stop you
in your steps fear. He is a liar. He will rob your rest,
steal your happiness, cast your fear in the fire. Because fear
he is a liar. When he told you you were troubled, you'll
forever be alone. When he told you that you should run away,
you'll never find a home. When he told you that you were dirty
and you should be ashamed. When he told you you that you could
be the one that grace could never change. Oh, fear he is a
liar. He will take your breath, stop you in your steps fear. He
is a liar. He will rob your rest, steal your happiness. So
cast your fear in the fire. Because fear he is a liar.
Really, really important ladies, the enemy is trying to say all
of these lies. And I love the lyrics there because you know,
even when he says when he told you you were dirty, and you
should be ashamed. There's a lot of people men and women alike
that that actually believe when they tell their spirit mate, the
truth of their life, that they're not going to really be
accepted. Y'all that's fear. That's lies. Because when you
have a spirit mate who is healthy, and, and that is
someone that God is leading you to together, God will give them
the grace and the ability to love you, no matter what the
backstory is. That's the truth. Okay. All right, so let that
soak in. Let that soak in and let's cast fear out tonight.
Hebrews 12, one says, therefore, since we are surrounded by such
a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that
hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run
with perseverance the rates marked out for us. So our
question for the breakouts tonight is what fear are you
going to ask God to help you with? Okay, what fear do you
need to lay at the altar, if you will, tonight, or anxiety?
Remember, I said it can be worry, it can be panic, it can
be any of those things that have really been hovering around in
any way in the last week. All right, let me get these breakout
rooms ready. I'm going to put two of you in a room. I like
having the smaller rooms because I think it's I think you guys
can connect a lot better. Oh, we're losing some people. All
right, I might have to move some people around once you get in
the rooms, because I can't see as people are kind of leaving.
All right, we're gonna do. Let's see, that'll put me I'll do
seven minutes for y'all save a little bit of time. All right,
go ahead and click those rooms to join those. And then as soon
as I get everybody situated for those that aren't able to
join because you're at work or whatnot, then we will pray and
go on from there. All right, Jenna, I think you might have
just joined. Let me give you a room popping up on your screen
there that you can join. Lisa did a poppy back out again. Huh?
I don't know why a lot of weird stuff happened. Actually, when I
was in there, like all these windows kept coming up that I've
never seen before. Okay, let me find you here. Give me a sec.
For no problem. Where are you? Oh, you're under Tagli. That's
why I can't see your name. I think. Oh, I am. That's weird.
Yeah, I see that. That's the beginning of an email address I
have. Yeah, it's okay. You don't have to. Okay. I'm just trying
to make sure I've got two people in all the other rooms. All
right. All right. Now I can put you in. I'm going to enter room
one. All right. Did that pop up for you? Yeah, I have room one.
Okay, awesome. Go ahead and you can join there. All right,
Father, we just thank you so much. For everything that you're
doing tonight. We thank you God that you are. Yeah, Lord, just
just demolishing strongholds that you are breaking fear and
torment off of all of minds, hearts, bodies, spirits, and souls tonight.
We thank you, God, for revealings, for healing that are happening.
We thank you, God, that you are the great dot connector,
that nothing is too hard for you. God,
we thank you that you would bring the truth, you know,
into the core of each one of these ladies that are here live,
as well as those that would watch the replay, God,
that you would help them just to
have a depth of discernment, God,
about the first time fear or anxiety, worry, or panic enter their lives,
Lord, God,
that you would just make it so clear that the memories would just start to pop
to the surface. We just thank you, God, that you would, yeah, Lord,
help them not to dismiss anything thinking it's too small, but God,
that they would honor the memories,
that they would honor the truth that is surfacing and Lord,
that they would bring it to you and allow you to,
yeah, Lord, that you would just,
they would allow you to heal those areas,
but first they would ask you good questions and,
and dive deeper into what you're trying to reveal to them.
John 10, 10, and the Passion Translation says this,
a thief has only one thing in mind. He wants to steal, slaughter, and destroy,
but I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you,
you expect life in its fullness until you overflow. God,
we thank you that even though the thief, Satan,
the devourer of our souls has come to steal and slaughter and destroy.
We thank you that you sent Jesus, your one and only son,
and he chose to come so that we could be set free,
that we could live in abundance, that we could have,
as the scripture declares life in its fullness until it's overflowing.
So God, I thank you that where, um,
where we have felt stuck in the past or limited or God,
that we've just been going around the same mountain.
We thank you God for revelation for life. God,
we thank you for healing and that new things would just start to spring up in
us and start to overflow out of us more and more and more in the days to come.
We thank you that Isaiah 40 verse 31 says,
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not be faint. God, we thank you for, um,
just energy for all of the ladies going through the heartwork.
We thank you God that you would give them the endurance, the strength, um,
that they need God that on the days that they,
the enemy tries to send overwhelm against them. God,
we thank you that you would give them peace that passes all understanding God,
that you would help them to practice guarding their hearts and their minds
through Christ Jesus,
that they would take every thought captive quickly and make it obedient to Jesus
Christ and to the knowledge of the word of God and truth.
We thank you Lord that you would help us as Proverbs 23, 23,
and the passion translation says to embrace the truth and hold it
close. Don't let go of wisdom instruction and life giving understanding.
So God, we thank you that not only would we read the word,
but that we would have revelation of it,
that it would begin to be just illuminating in our spirit,
that we would feel a resonance and a connection with the truth as we read it.
God, we thank you that, yeah, we are your sheep and your sheep hear your voice.
So Lord,
I thank you that you would give us ears to hear what your spirit is saying and
eyes to see what your spirit sees. Um,
when we look at ourselves as well as observe and see things going on with other
people, when we look at even the past and things that we've been through, God,
I thank you for revelation and truth to be there. Um, yes, Lord,
I just heard the Lord say like, just in regards to memories being distorted,
Lord, we thank you that memories would no longer be distorted because even as
young children,
sometimes it can get a little twisted because we don't even have, you know,
when we go through trauma, really young,
we don't even have the mental faculty to process those kinds of things.
And so we can remember it in truth to our ability,
but sometimes even that can, um,
not be the exact way things unfolded. So God,
I just thank you that Jesus,
you would come and you would bring truth into these trauma stories where we
are just really still stuck that you would come and show us Jesus,
where were you at?
And what do you want us to know about those situations?
And we just thank you in advance for those revelations.
We thank you for leading us out of the prison
places and into a wide open space.
We thank you God that you're leading us into even that land that's flowing with
milk and honey, the blessing, the overflow, the healing, God,
um, yeah, just new, new, new. I hear the Lord saying, there's just new, new,
new all around.
So help us to partner with that Lord instead of partnering with that things just
are never going to work out for us. Um,
Ephesians 6, 12 says,
for we are not fighting against
flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen
world, against mighty powers in this dark world and against evil spirits in
the heavenly places."
So just a reminder that we, you know, it's not just us, you know, fighting
situations, but there's principalities and powers at work and the enemy is that
devourer that I was talking about earlier.
He's always trying to figure out how can he steal from us, but praise God that we
are defended and protected by the King of Kings, and he is working on our behalf.
And so the last scripture I'm going to give as the ladies are starting to come
back is Psalms 119 verse 165 in the Passion Translation, and this is what it
says, there is such a great peace and wellbeing that comes to the lovers of
your word, and they will never be offended.
What a great word that the lovers of God's word, that we can live a life where
we just are not easily offendable people.
And so Lord, we just thank you for that in advance in Jesus name.
Welcome back, so glad to see you again.
We're going to go ahead in a moment here, and we're going to do some coaching on
what did you share in your private breakout room about fear, and then we'll
go from there, but I do want to talk to you about the activations before anybody
jumps off of the session tonight.
I will be putting these up in the group, so don't feel like you have to take all
these notes right now.
I just want you to kind of absorb it, and then you can read through the details in
the group page.
I'm going to give you guys some practical ways on practicing receiving, okay?
So this week, I really want you to, and in the days ahead too, but especially this
week, I want you to practice receiving.
So when someone offers to help you, you're not going to give them the reasons that
you don't need them to help you, even if you can do it.
You're going to say, yes, that would be wonderful, and you're going to smile, and
you're going to practice receiving.
But I'm going to give you guys some additional ways, like how to accept
physical assistance, how to ask for skill-based help, like maybe you need help
with something.
So practicing receiving is also practicing asking for help, letting other people
handle things for you, again, things that you could do, and then accepting emotional
support and love from people.
Activation number two is what we call letting go in this community, that we would
lean further into the idea of the supernatural surrender and letting go, in
addition to your Jesus Cares Board, that you would ask the Lord, what do you not
want me to take into the rest of 2026 with me?
Okay, because we've already started 2026, but he wants, like, Lord, where do you
want me to draw a line, like, and not take this thought with me any further, or this
heart posture with me any further, or this trauma situation further into 2026.
And so that you would have some form of a release, I believe in this really a lot,
that's why I talk about it all the time, that I think not only do we need to make
that decision, but having some form of release can really help people connect on
higher levels.
So, for example, Tiffany, our sister in here, actually recently posted a balloon
release that she did, and she did this whole rock.
Beautiful, so powerful, but one of the ideas is a balloon release.
If you're an environmental-friendly person, I'm sorry, I hope this does not
offend you.
I know that some balloons, or most of them, are not environmentally friendly.
Y'all, I'm not trying to hurt any animals, but this is just something that really
helps people, okay?
If you don't want to do that, you can do writing a list of things that you need to
release to the Lord and let go of on a piece of paper.
You can put that in some kind of safe container and burn it and watch that kind
of be released that way.
You can get some stones by water and, like, you know, pray over what you're
releasing by what, like, say...
I'm just going to give an example.
Say one of my stones is releasing, you know, my anxiety over my girls not making
healthy choices.
I'm just kind of putting that out there.
And I'm going to pray over that, and I'm going to release that, and then I'm going
to toss that.
If you want to skip it, great.
If you just want to plunk it, that's awesome, too.
But the point is, like, that action of releasing that burden off of yourself,
that anxiety off of yourself, that worry off of you, and just letting it go, okay?
And I love when you guys kind of have some way of what I call a monument,
remembering what you're doing.
So take a picture of the rocks before you throw them and remember that moment
of releasing that thing.
If you're going to release balloons, same kind of thing.
Take a picture, share that in the group.
This is how, again, you all can choose to come into community.
You can say, hey, like, Tiffany was so brave.
She shared with us everything.
that she was letting go, the process of what God led her through.
And I loved when she said, I originally was going to hide the rock in the woods
somewhere, but God was like, no, I want you to put it out where other people can
see it.
And I love that.
That is so God.
That is so God, not only for her, but I'm like, I can't wait.
I like, I wish I could have a little camera waiting one day when somebody sees
that rock and all of a sudden they realize God loves them.
Cause I think that's going to happen, but anyways, you all let's do this.
Let's come into community and share, um, as you're doing these activations.
All right.
Awesome.
So I see Leslie and Tiffany have their hands up already.
So Leslie, let's hear what you have to share tonight.
Oh, you're muted.
Yep.
And I'm mute.
Um, so I shared that I won't feel worthy or comfortable with a man who is
emotionally healthy.
Okay.
Tell me more about that.
Uh, well, the bad habit that I have of attracting unhealthy men and, um, the
ones that are healed and healthy, I'm afraid.
Okay.
But what is the lie that you're hearing?
Is it that you're not good enough?
What, what's the lie that you're hearing?
Definitely that.
Okay.
Is there any others?
Um, uh, I think here, um, I guess my, my weaknesses come up and they feel big to me.
Okay.
That's all right.
Okay.
So here's the thing.
Um, number one, everybody at some point has had some level of healing.
They've had to walk through.
Okay.
If they're a healthy person, there's nobody that's completely perfect.
Okay.
Ladies.
So what can happen is this is where we would put people on pedestals, right?
And the Lord doesn't want us to put people on pedestals or to minimize
ourselves because someone else is healthy, because what we're doing is
we're actually saying I'm not healthy, but they're healthy.
Does that make sense?
And so when you feel what you said first is I won't feel safe with someone healthy.
And so basically we need God to continue to heal the times that you were not with.
Safe people where you started to learn the dialogue that chaos and unhealthy
would be your life, that that's just what you should settle for.
Right.
And, and as the Lord keeps healing you from those kinds of lies or like, this
is just my life, this is just how it's going to be, this is what I deserve.
Or even sometimes like that lady I was talking about, um, when I was with
her at lunch yesterday, she said something that this guy that she's been
dating on and off for seven years said to her, I don't even remember what it
was, but like he, he cursed at her and basically told her in addition to that,
that she was stupid.
And I just, I just looked at her.
I said, you know, that like, that's not truth about you.
And that's not healthy.
That's not a loving thing for someone to say to you, you know?
And she cried, you know, cause we know the truth deep down.
I think we really, you know, there's this part of us that's like,
well, that was really horrible.
And we don't want to believe that stuff, but yet there's this other side of us.
That's basically leading us to stay in that.
And it is the belief that we don't deserve better because we, we think
there's something wrong with us.
And that's, what's at the core, Leslie.
So this is, this goes back to identity, you know, who are you in
Christ and you are not your mistakes.
You know, our past doesn't define us.
It doesn't have to define us ladies.
Okay.
And, you know, I, I also want to say that I understand what you're saying
too, because when I met, um, Mike, my husband, Brian, he hadn't had all
the trauma that I did growing up.
Yeah.
His parents were married.
They hardly fought.
Um, he had trauma with his prior marriage and prior relationship after that.
But like, I had a lot of stuff and I remember just thinking, like, I don't
know, like if, if this is going to work, cause he's like, like really good and I'm
not, and so I understand what you're saying.
And I had to partner with a, that's not true.
I am a good person.
I've just been through a lot.
And I chose some unhealthy things because I went through really unhealthy things and I didn't have anybody to teach me to make healthier choices.
And even when I came out and told my mom in high school what happened, like, she didn't help me process that.
So I was flying solo on my own, trying to figure it out, making all kinds of mistakes.
And so I had to partner with, God, I trust that you're going to give him the grace to love me just the way that I am.
And I'm not less than.
You know, and really partnering with what my value is, what do I bring to the table?
I'm a pretty awesome person. And I'm not saying that pridefully, you all.
Like, I genuinely believe that in my heart about myself now.
Like, I know my heart. I know the kind of person that I am.
And so knowing who you are, knowing what you bring to the table, you know, is going to be really key for you because that's going to change the way that you show up in relationship when people are healthy or even unhealthy.
Because when you show up and you know who you are, the unhealthy, you're like, yeah, that doesn't look so good anymore.
Because because we when we're healthy, we're like, yeah, I don't want that life.
And so the same thing happens where we can also start to like, you know what, God, that is the life that you have for me.
I can learn how to function in a healthy relationship and dynamic without a bunch of chaos.
And you will have times when you step into those kind of relationships.
I remember having a conversation and my husband knows this. It's not him.
But after I got married, I talked to Jackie. I'm like, I'm kind of bored.
And she's like, yeah, because you don't have a bunch of chaos.
I was like, oh, you're so right.
That is what's happening here because I had to learn a new normal. I had to learn how to live in healthy.
So it takes time. It's a process just like anything else, but you can totally do it.
You can totally do it. But let's get to the root of, you know, what other areas do you need to grow in your identity in Christ and really knowing what your worth is?
Like going back to the stuff that I hear.
Like the weaknesses, you mean?
Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, it could be the weaknesses, but it's also just really, again, anytime these kind of things show up,
it is that we like we might know in our head that we are the beloved, that we are God's daughter, that he has good things for us.
But if our heart and our subconscious don't believe those things, that's what I'm saying.
The head and the heart need to start to sync up.
Well, that happens when we heal more and we get more rooted and grounded in our identity in Christ.
And that comes through healing.
Why do some people, even if they're at the same healthy level, you know, or same unhealthy level or whatever,
why do some people just capitalize on all of their strengths and they just present a more healed package, even though they might not be more healed?
Well, I think most of us want to show people our positive side more than our negative side, right?
So I don't know the person or the dynamics.
So I'd have to know more of that to give you a better answer.
But I just think most people want to put their best foot forward.
And the reality is, is not everybody can maintain that long term.
If it's fake, if it's not who they really are, they're not going to be able to keep that up forever.
So if someone is genuinely a good person and they're telling you who they really are, well, they're going to be able to maintain that in the long run.
So that's how you know if what they're telling you about themselves that's good, if that's genuine, if that's really who they are.
If they're not, they'll reveal themselves in time.
So I don't know. I don't know why some people do that.
But typically, most of us want people to think good of us and we try to put our best foot forward first, which isn't unhealthy to do.
It just depends on if the person is someone who has unhealthy patterns of trying to lure people with a bunch of flashy stuff that isn't really genuine.
So I think that's the difference. And I'm guessing that's kind of where your question is coming from.
Yeah, I think I always had the tendency of, oh, let me show you my weaknesses to make sure you're not going to reject me.
Well, and that's that goes back to your identity stuff that I'm saying to you.
I really think that, you know, we don't need to be like it's kind of like I told you guys before.
If you're new here, you wouldn't have heard the story.
But the first date I had with my husband.
husband, he's like, I like Legos and Marvel, because his wife
used to like, be really like, put him down a lot because he
liked those things when he was married before. And so he wanted
to make sure I wasn't going to reject him. And he wanted to
make sure of that on the first date. And so I think that
people Yeah, struggle with that kind of stuff. But again, um,
the more that you heal, hopefully, the more that you
will know, again, that you're not defined by your past, and
that you can trust God to defend you instead of leaning into I
got to get all the mess out. So somebody doesn't reject me,
because that's not healthy.
Well, and I would say it's not even stuff from my past. It's my
current weaknesses. Well, that's okay. Either way, it's not
really, you want to organically get to know someone and pace
really well. So putting all of our weaknesses out there is
actually going to present opportunity for trauma bonding.
Yeah. So you should, you know, when you're in the next phase,
they coach on kind of the progress and things like that.
The levels of relationship where you guys can learn how to pace
really well and what to share and whatnot. But great
questions, Leslie. So glad to hear what you're sharing. But
yeah, I would lean definitely into the identity stuff. And
that should get you kind of keep you going in the right direction
for sure. Yeah, great questions. You're welcome. Thanks for
sharing. Tiffany, go ahead.
Okay, so I am almost through week five. So I'm super excited
about that. I am seeing differences. I'm like, I'm being
able to see circumstances and going, that's God saying, Hey,
this is how you show up. And so that's super cool. And I'm so
excited. Even when I don't do it perfectly. I'm like, I
saw it. So that's really exciting. Along this journey, I
have a very precious friend who has not done the heartwork, but
she has been, we've been kind of walking this together. And
she's been allowing the Lord to walk her through heartwork.
Well, a few months ago, she met a guy, and she is living with
him now. And I just found out about two weeks ago, that she's
pregnant. And there was no judgment because I mean, I know
my testimony, I can't judge. And so I was good when when we
visited, I was encouraging and supportive and all of those
things. But since then, because we, like we were so we all have
our own walks, and I get it. But the lie is starting to try to
come back, that if she couldn't maintain, I'm just scared. And I
know, like, I know, I've talked to you and Andrew both about it.
And it's, I've got some healing, and I've got the
community, and I'm not going to be doing it by myself. And it's
just what you were telling the other lady, like, it's had
knowledge, and I get it. But I don't know what to do with this.
Because I'm feeling like I want to run. And I can't.
Yeah. Yeah. And part of that, too, is there's a whole lot
that's probably tied up in there, too. And so number one,
is how can you maintain, I'm going to assume that not make
the same mistakes that she just made. That's what I'm assuming
you're saying there. And you know, I'm going to tell you this
right now, it's, it's not going to be easy. Okay. But it is, it
is possible. Okay. I didn't use to be able to make those those
choices either. Because in the past, I struggled to set
boundaries. And when I was with the girl's dad, I mean, he was,
I mean, it was really bad. He was very mean, and would, like,
scream and peel out and all kinds of stuff. If I didn't do
things he wanted me to do, and all of those things. Saying all
that to say that, when I was in relationship with Brian, when I
would face the same kind of battles that were fleshly, if
you will, or lustful, because that's where I learned my whole
life. I had to stand up against that stuff. Okay, so I had to
learn. So when I started tonight's session, one of the
things I was talking about, is that as a community, we really
want to teach you all all of us, we all have
learn this in different ways. And the areas where we are weak, we have to learn how to develop a
muscle in that area. So if we are weak in our ability to resist lust, well, it's kind of like
we have to understand that some of us have like child likeness in that area, okay, if you will.
And just like a kid, a baby has to learn how to crawl, then they have to learn how to walk,
then they learn other things from there like riding a bike. So think of all the muscles that
get developed along the way. And so where you're at is that you have to keep developing your
muscles and there are definitely ways we coach people on, okay, simple things like don't invite
guys into your house, only date in public. If you're someone that struggles with a lot of
lustful things or have fallen into that stuff in the past, there's absolutely guardrails that we
can put in place to protect ourselves, okay. And so the reality is, is that sometimes people start
dating and then they go into isolation and they don't, they're not really open and forthcoming
about how that whole dynamic is going, right. And so we all have a choice on not doing that
and coming into community, staying accountable, not only with this online community, but someone
that is safe, that is an in-person person, that is someone that has overcome that area themselves
as well. That's what I would recommend. So that could even be a counselor locally, you know, but
a mentor, someone that is further along in their journey and, you know, where you're just putting,
if you will, training wheels on your bike too. So I would consider that additional support systems
in person to help us develop the new muscles that we need to develop. Does that make sense?
Yes. Yeah. And so there's nothing wrong with us as adults saying, I'm an adult, but I feel really
kind of like a kid in this area and I need help to grow and mature so that I don't keep making
these same mistakes that a kid would make or someone that has, you know, had struggles in
these areas might make. And so it's like when I have you guys, when you start the
heartwork, you know, I talk a lot about being really honest with ourselves. You know, when we're
really honest about where we're at and like what we need help with, which is what you're doing
tonight, you're saying, okay, I feel this fear because here's my friend that's been walking on
this journey with me. And now like, even though I've made these mistakes in the past, I don't
want to make these mistakes anymore. And now she's made them. And so I'm afraid that I'm going to do
that too. Well, you're not her. Would you maybe be tempted in the future with the same things?
Maybe, but you get to choose what you're going to do. Okay. And so no matter what you want to
center yourself in the truth of all the progress that you've made and that you can absolutely bring
support team around you and support systems to help you not make the same mistake in the future.
Will a healthy guy be willing to accept those boundaries? Yes. Even if he doesn't struggle
with it. Yeah. Yes. If he struggles with it, if he doesn't struggle with it, if he's a healthy guy
and he values covenant and he values you and fighting for that. Yes. 100%. He's going to,
he's going to honor that and fight for that with you. He's going to be a team.
We want y'all to look for teammates, people that are going to work with you, not
try to convince you to do something that you don't want to do.
So one of the things Brian and I, we're doing, we're leading and coaching in the
Simbas group right now. And we just talked to them about the whole sex content the other night.
And one of the things I said is that, you know, if someone is pressuring you to do something,
that's a flag right there. But the other aspect is for me, like I had to write out what my values were.
Write out what my values were. And I made a promise to myself this last time around.
And I literally wrote this on there. These are what my values are. I will not go against my own
values ever again. And I put that somewhere where I could see it every single day. I put it inside
of my pantry and I read what my values were. I read it out loud to myself, but I also read that
line. I will not go against my values ever again for anybody. That was a game changer for me.
Because I was saying that I matter and I'm not.
going to devalue myself any more. Does that make sense?
Yes, very much.
Yeah. So that might be something that will be helpful for you too, Tiffany,
where you really write out what are your values? What are the things that you're just like,
I'm not like, I don't want to go against my value in this way. So for me, one of them was,
I am not going to have sex outside of marriage. I'm not going to do things physically that would
cause me to lust. You know, like there were a lot of things like I had to be a little more extreme
because of things that I was trying to protect myself from. And not only that, you all,
I wasn't just trying to protect myself in those moments. I was trying to be a kinsman redeemer
and overcome the spirit of lust in my family. It was, it was about more than just me.
And that is what gave me the courage to stand up against it. So you got to know your why.
If your why is just to get to the altar, I mean, that's good, but it really needs to be more than
that. It needs to be that you want to value yourself. You want to love yourself really well,
because you know what happens when we go against our values, we start hating our self.
It happens. That's what happens. Resenting ourselves. And it's just internally in there
that we just feel like we just don't like who we are. So standing up for our values is really,
really important for sure. Yeah. Great questions, Tiffany. Thank you. You're welcome. Thanks for
sharing. Kathleen Saxton. Hey, it's my first time on the fears. Thanks. The fears that I shared
with Leslie was I'm afraid of making mistakes and I have a fear of disappointing God.
Hmm. And I think a lie underneath some of that is if people get to know me, they'll leave.
And as far as God goes, like he's been the only good, like the real only super, super good thing.
I don't want to mess it up, you know, like, or the lie could be like, what was the song lyric?
I could be one of the ones that grace couldn't change. So, but I had another question.
Um, I, I struggle like doing the heartwork is like, yeah, I want to do this. This is like
something I love doing is digging into heartwork and myself and trying to figure out how I can
change and be better. But one of the things I haven't really answered within myself is,
is it okay to get remarried? Like I, I was in a marriage for 27 years and then it started to turn
emotionally abusive. And then finally, when it turned a little physically with my kids, then I,
I left and I heard separate. And then finally I chose to divorce.
Um, after the divorce, then my ex has been confessed, uh, some porn addiction.
So the reason I even signed up was because of that scripture about like,
except for sexual immorality, like.
Yeah. So let me, let me help you out a little bit on this. I'm looking for what week it's in
right now. Give me one sec. Cause I can't remember. I thought it was in here.
If we took it out, I'm going to have to ask about it being put back in because it should
be in here. Yeah. Okay. So in week five, even though you just started, um, there is a video
session on divorce and remarriage. Highly recommend you listen to that. Um, but don't
like if you go and listen to that, don't go through all the, don't pass all the other stuff.
Like I want you to still go into week one, but I think that'll set you free. And a lot of the
questions that you have and I'll give you some answers on, um, what scripture really says about
divorce and remarriage. It'll be really, really helpful for you. Um, on the, if people get to
know me, they'll leave. When is the first time that, you know, you went through things in your
life and you felt like when somebody got to know you, they left. My dad was a pilot and I bonded
pretty well with him, but he would constantly leave. So he would spend, because he was a pilot,
he would, that was his profession. But then.
It repeated as like friend cycles of friends would only talk to me if the richer friends
weren't there.
Or if I once confessed a sexual abuse experience to a friend and they yelled it out on the
bus and then they weren't my friend again.
Things like that.
And then as an adult, I had similar scenarios where if someone found out I was struggling
with depression, they weren't my friend anymore, like a church person or, you know, like I'm
too messed up or whatever.
OK, let's finish that.
That's that's I think that that's going somewhere.
You're too messed up.
Let's finish that statement.
What what would that sound like?
I'm not sure how to finish that statement, it seems pretty ending.
OK, I just want to make sure there wasn't because it kind of sounded like you were you
were going somewhere else with that and then you just stopped.
So I wasn't sure because sometimes people, as they're starting to actually say this stuff
out loud, then they feel like afraid, like, oh, my gosh, I just said that out loud.
So I just want to make sure that wasn't happening.
So when so dad came and when he was a pilot, you guys were super close.
You have these friends that left.
Let's look at just a.
Too messed up, that's kind of where you ended.
When is the first time you believed that?
I think I started that out after an incest experience as a kid.
As a probably four year old or something.
So I've been in like therapy since I was 19, and now I'm studying psychology and now I'm
like training to be a therapist now, so I hear other people's stories.
And so, yeah, it's.
Yeah, so you can know all this stuff.
I mean, just, you know, it's really, really good that you have that background and
information and you've been in counseling that long.
But the reality is, is that there's layers to healing.
There's layers to forgiveness.
And we enter new seasons where God is unpacking something, even if like I said
earlier, I mean, I had done tons of counseling, tons of stuff before I came into the
community. And then once I was here, there were just things that I was like, whoa, OK, I
didn't know I was still struggling with that thing because I was seeing something new
about it or or whatever.
And so just know that that's going to be normal.
So if that happens, it's a good thing, no matter how much we know, you know, before we
came in the door here.
And so for me, the reason I'm asking you when is the first time that you had this
thought is because we really want to ask God.
It's not just our human knowledge and what we know, but we're asking God to come into
the core, root core memories, the trauma that informed those belief systems.
You know, so the fact that you were saying these other things, which is true, if people
get to know me, you believe the lie that they would leave.
But at the core, the more that you explained is that you believe the lie that you are too
messed up for people to love you.
OK, and so we have to get to the root of that lie and ask God to heal that area so that
you can start to receive the love and the truth in that area.
OK, and so even though you've done a lot of work on this, I really want to encourage
you to ask the Lord, you know, to reveal to you, is it is the root time when you were,
you know, your incest?
The other thing I want to just add here for context as well, sometimes our parents
believe these kind of things and they pass it down generationally to us.
So I would encourage you to also ask the Lord, is this something that my mom or dad
struggled with or grandparents or whatever?
Is there anything that's coming down to me generationally that is, you know, I'm not
just up against my own battle with this stuff because of what I went through, but
potentially their battle being passed down as well.
And let's just see what the Lord reveals through that.
I would love for you to come in the group and kind of share as you're praying into that
specifically. And then also this friend, this one on the bus that keeps standing out to
me, I want to encourage you to do a forgiveness prayer sheet regarding that friend that
you shared that, you know, that you had been abused and then they yelled it out on the
bus. OK, that's a pretty big thing to have happen when you're young.
And so because God's highlighting that to me several times, I really want you to to do
that forgiveness prayer sheet.
And you can find any of the worksheets are under the welcome area.
So you can just print out that forgiveness prayer sheet.
You want to pray through that and then write out and forgive that person and just write
down anything that comes to you.
And if other things come up as you're.
doing that, you know, you might have other people to forgive and
you want to do a separate sheet for them. Okay. Okay. So for
example, this is coming up in my spirit when that was yelled out,
you know, as a kid, we want to be protected. So did the bus
driver protected the school protected the parent protect,
you know, whatever the dynamic was. And so if you if you
weren't protected, you might need to forgive those that you
did not feel protected you as well. Okay. And, yeah, so those
are a couple of pretty big things. So I'm going to have you
start there this week, and come into the group and let us know
how that's going. And then we can help you unpack that more.
Thanks. I appreciate it. Yeah, you're welcome. Thank you for
sharing. So glad that you're here. Okay, so we're at 930. I'm
gonna Ladies, I have to shut down for the night. I'm so
sorry, I normally try to stay on and keep going. But if you
have your hand raised, and I was not able to get to you, if you
will come into the group, and let us know what is the fear
that you are asking God to help you overcome. And then we can
respond to you there. I'll be in there tonight for a little bit.
And I'll be in first thing in the morning again. So I can
respond to your post there. And thank you guys so much for being
here tonight. I'm gonna go ahead and pray us out. Father, thank
you so much for your word. Thank you, God for your truth.
God, I thank you that you're just revealing amazing things to
us that we didn't know. Sometimes we have these filters
or blind spots, Lord, we forget things because our brain actually
protects us when we go through trauma. God, I thank you that
you would reveal any area for healing that is needed God that
you give us truth that you would help us to. Yeah, Lord, just
connect the dots that need to be connected. We thank you God that
you would give us grace in this next week. To keep taking the
next step forward in our heart healing. We thank you that your
hedge of protection is around us and our families, that you would
help us to resist distractions and that we would come out of
hiding and, and Lord just start asking people for help and
receive your love and help through other people. And we
just thank you that you give us the grace and the endowment of
power, the same power that rose Jesus from the dead, that you
give us that ability to let go that we can tap into the power
of who you are, Jesus, and all that you died to give us so that
we can let go of the things that you don't want us to carry any
further into 2026. In Jesus name. Amen. Amen. God bless you
all. I'll be seeing you on the group. And yeah, we'll be back
live again next Monday. Have a great night, everyone. Bye bye.