WEBVTT

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I'm going to invite you all to come on screen if you can so I can see your amazing faces.

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If you're driving, I understand if you can't turn it on or you're eating, but for those

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of you that are able, would love to see you come online with me.

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Hello.

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Welcome.

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Welcome.

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I'm starting tonight.

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For some of you, you might be brand new.

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My name is Bethany Cooper.

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I'm one of the Master Heartwork Coaches here in our community and on the team with Last

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Year Single.

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I love being here with all of you.

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Thank you on ... I just curled it really fast, you all.

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I just have this little wave artist.

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This is a trick.

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It's a wave artist.

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I don't have curly hair at all, I wish.

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Most people that have curly hair would say I probably would wish I didn't have curly

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hair.

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I'm a hairstylist and so I know that there's both sides.

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It's not easy on either side, but yeah, so I just crimp it up.

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It's like an old style crimper, but it's a waver instead of the kinky crimp, for those

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of you that know what crimpers are, that are older like me.

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All right, well, that was just out of nowhere, but just welcome.

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Hopefully that helps you feel a little more relaxed if you're joining us for the first

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time.

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No need to be nervous in here.

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We're having a safe space.

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We're going to grow.

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We're going to heal, and we're going to stretch tonight.

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Some of you that have been here for a while, you are going to hear some content that comes

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back around every couple weeks, but hopefully you'll hear something new from the Father

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tonight.

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I didn't finish saying if you are brand new, if this is your first session, please let

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us know that in the chat so that we can welcome you.

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We want to make sure that we let you know that you are seen, that you are known, that

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you're loved, and we're so glad that you're here.

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On that note, a couple housekeeping things, just as always, as I invited you all to come

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on camera with me, I want you to remember this is about coming out of hiding as you

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are healing and really praying into if you are afraid to come on camera, because I know

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I'm not saying that everybody that's not on camera right now is in that place, but you

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all, I just have been doing this for a long time, people don't like to see themselves

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on camera, and there's a lot of internal struggles that happen.

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People don't like to see themselves in the mirror, and so if that is something that you

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struggle with, now is the time to really lean into, okay, where did that start for you?

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Where did that struggle begin?

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What's the negative internal dialogue that you're hearing the enemy say to you when you

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have those feelings or thoughts, and let's get set free from those to the best of your

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ability.

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So if that is something that you really struggle with, coming on camera, allowing yourself

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to be seen, allowing yourself to be heard, some people just really struggle to believe

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that their voice matters, we have some people this afternoon, one of the ladies, I know

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she's been here for a little while, she shared for the first time ever live, which was great,

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and she said, even out loud, I'm going to do my intro post this week, because she hasn't

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done that yet, the intro post, you all, that helps us get to know you.

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So even if you've been here for weeks or months, there's no shame, okay, if you haven't done

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an intro post yet, but do one so that your sisters can get to know you better, so that

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we can get to know you better.

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Again, this is how we start saying and agreeing with that God created us for connection, He

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created us for community and family, and hey, I'm going to fight against the fleshly lie

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that tells me that I don't matter, and I'm just better off to be a wallflower, you know,

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I'm a wallflower, partnering with those things is not healthy for us, so great job on those

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that have been doing your intro posts, we've been loving seeing them, I see that Renee

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is here for her first session, welcome Renee, anyone else here for your first time, oh Kathleen,

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I see, oh there's two Renee's, Renee Alcorn and Renee, I don't know if I'm going to say

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your name right, Luong, is that close?

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Close enough, it's Luong, thank you.

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Luong, I will work on it, I will work on it, for anybody that has tricky names, if you

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guys, when you do your introduction post, even if you've already done one, you don't

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have to go back and edit it, but if you do an introduction post, if you put the pronunciations

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in there for us, I love saying people's names right, so if I have pronunciation, just like

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if I'm studying the Greek or Hebrew, it helps me kind of, not that I always get it right

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even seeing that, but it does help, right, so on that note, keep coming out of hiding,

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let yourself be seen, known, heart posture in this journey is key, you all, okay, so

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what do I mean by that?

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I mean, come in with a teachable heart.

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I came into this program, I had already gone through counseling, I had worked with coaches,

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I had been taking heart healing.

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in classes, I had been working on a mental health certification. And so, you know, yeah,

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I could have totally come in with the attitude of I already know this stuff, right. But if I

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come in with that attitude, then my heart is already closed to potentially receiving revelation

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that I need to be set free. Because I clearly needed more help because I kept attracting

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unhealthy men and falling for all the tricks. So there were things I needed to learn, things I

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needed to be set free from that I did not know were still underneath the surface. And so be

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teachable, have an open heart, let go of any kind of stubborn attitudes that might try to pop up or

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mindsets that tell you, you know, I've already heard something like this before. And hopefully

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that doesn't happen. But I do love to help people just kind of circle back and remember that from

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time to time. Supernatural Saturday this past Saturday is titled Don't Worry, Be Happy. That's

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just a part of it. There are so many layers to what Jackie started unpacking on Saturday,

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including what like knowing and discerning what is God's will. And if you were not able to join

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Sunday night activation last night, she did go live in there for part of that and did a little

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bit more deep dive into how do we know what is God's will. And so if that replay is not up,

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we don't always put Sunday night replays up. We only do it on occasion, but we are going to put

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this one up. And so check that replay out if you have time and make sure you listen to Supernatural

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Saturday first. I will tell you on our team meeting, we talked at length about this. This

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is a topic we're going to be diving into more and more in the days ahead. We definitely believe in

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the prophetic. We definitely believe in the supernatural. But even myself in helping pastor

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the church that we pastor here in Florida, people depend too much on that versus growing their

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muscles on how to make a healthy decision. And so many of us, even as children, some of the

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trainings my husband and I are doing right now, so many of us as children, if we are neglected,

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if we are not cared for properly, even if our parents intended to, okay, here's the reality.

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If we didn't develop decision-making capabilities as a young child, young teenager,

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that can affect us as adults. And so we have to build muscles in areas that are needed that can

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help us make healthier decisions in the future and not be afraid that if I make a decision and

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it's wrong, like lightning's going to strike me or something like that. And I know that might seem

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like, well, that's kind of extreme, but you all, basically people are saying that when they're

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saying, I can't make this decision because if I do, it's going to mess everything up. God's going to

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be mad at me. Or, you know, I'm going to pick the wrong guy. Here's the reality. Even when I picked

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the wrong people, God helped me every step of the way. Sometimes I wasn't listening. That's the reality.

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Sometimes I wanted to keep going because I thought they were the person. So we want to help you all

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develop a little bit more strength in this area where you're going to grow in your muscles of

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foundation building, like how to grow in your foundation, the capability of making healthy

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decisions based on wisdom, which aligns with the truth of God's word. But we're going to help

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you with that. So check those out. It's definitely going to be really good for you. And like I said,

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we're going to keep unpacking that more in the days to come. Let me pray for us. And we're going

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to go ahead and dive into tonight's content. Father, thank you so much for this night. God,

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thank you for already just the things that we're talking about. Lord, I pray that you would help

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every lady here to receive everything that you have for them. Those that are going to watch the

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replay, God, that you would help them just to, yeah, Lord, revealings for healing one after

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another, after another, after another, that breakthroughs will come where there's been

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a stoppage, a blockage, an obstacle in the past. God, we thank you that you would bring,

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yeah, just healing rain tonight as well. We thank you for mercy. We thank you for grace in this space,

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in this room. We ask you just to silence every voice of the enemy, that you would help us, God,

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to hear your voice louder than any other voice, that where the enemy has been defiling our camp,

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so to speak, and hindering us in any way with anxiety, with fear, with torment, Lord, we thank

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you for freedom and liberty where the spirit is, there is liberty, there's freedom for the captives.

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And so, Holy Spirit, we ask you to come and have your way, that you would just come with the key

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and unlock the door and help us to walk right out of the prisons that we've been living in. God,

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we thank you for upgrades.

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mindsets. We know that our hearts and our minds are connected.

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So what we're just asking for healing on the inside that would impact the

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outside more and more and more as the night goes on and Jesus name. Amen.

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So ladies, we're, we're talking about anxiety and fear.

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We're going to work on overcoming that a little bit more tonight. Um,

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and you know,

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I really want to encourage you as we start to unpack this,

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just to be thinking about how has fear or anxiety tried to show up in your life

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I try to do like when I ask you all this the last week. Okay.

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Because if we try to go too far back right now, um, you might be like, well,

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I don't know. I don't know. So let's just look at the last week, you know,

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thinking about where has fear or anxiety tried to come against you.

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Or this also came up this afternoon.

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I think this is a really important thing to consider.

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Where has it come against someone that is close to you that you love and they've

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been really battling with anxiety or fear.

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And so therefore you have been impacted by their anxiety and fear.

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That makes sense. So just be thinking about where has that shown up.

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And as that comes to you,

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I would love for y'all to go ahead and put that in the chat for me.

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Don't feel like you have to, you can say it however you want to,

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but don't feel like you have to tell a big long story. Just let us know kind of,

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okay, this is where I saw this showing up fear or anxiety.

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Some of y'all might've felt panic. You might've felt worry. Okay.

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So maybe yours wasn't fear or anxiety,

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but worry and panic are connected to those.

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So let's go ahead and put those in the chat as well. All right.

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So as I start to watch for those,

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I want to go ahead and start tracking through just in Proverbs 4,

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23, this is the ESV version. It's saying,

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keep your heart with all vigilance for from it flows the springs of life.

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So think about this ladies, as I was even praying, if,

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if there's a something in us, in our hearts,

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that is stopping up the dam, if you will, the flow of the spirit,

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well then is life going to be able to spring forth from that? Okay.

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It's not saying that it can't spring forth at all,

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but what I am saying to you is that there are certain parts of our hearts where

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because we are afraid because we're partnering with anxiety. And again,

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sometimes this is happening subconsciously. It's not like we're just choosing.

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I just want to be afraid or I just want to have anxiety. No,

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there are things inside of us internally that are getting triggered when things

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are happening. And those are telling us lies. For example,

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years ago, um, as I grew up as a child, um, y'all,

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I had massive fear of the dark,

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like so bad that I would run from one side of the room,

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no joke to the other because I was afraid people were looking in the windows at

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me when it was dark time.

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It was not something I was afraid of during the daytime,

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but it was during the dark time. Now I can absolutely hindsight now as an adult.

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And after years of healing, I can look back and be like, okay,

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that is somehow related and connected to the sexual abuse and all the things that

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I was going through. Okay.

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But the reality is is it showed up when I would be going from downstairs to the

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upstairs. Well, a lot of the abuse happened in the basement.

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But when I started giving into that stuff,

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then it started creeping into more areas of my life. Okay.

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And then I worked a lot to overcome that.

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After I gave my life to the Lord learned the truth that says I don't have to have

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a spirit of fear,

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but I can have a spirit of love and of power and of a sound mind that is truth.

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You all that will set you free.

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But it's not just like you snap your fingers and it's gone.

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That's not how it works. So if anybody tries to shame you,

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um, with scripture, I just want, I just want you to understand.

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You're not going to just be instantly like, okay, this is just done.

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Now there are some people that get like automatically delivered. Okay.

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So I'm not saying that that never happens, but most people,

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it's a process and we have to guard our hearts and our minds through Christ

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Jesus. We have to stand up to that stuff and say, no,

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I'm not going to partner with you fear.

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I'm partnering with the spirit of love and of power and of a sound mind.

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So when I would feel that stuff come on me, even as an adult,

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I had to resist that,

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that desire to run and walk and partner with peace and declare that scripture

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over myself. Now, when I went back, um,

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many years later then after I'd been kind of set free from that and victorious,

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when I found out the girl's dad was cheating, um, you know,

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I just really, it really sent me reeling, um, pretty deeply.

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And I would have,

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I had what I would call now today a panic attack, um,

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crying and just like, God, why did you do like blaming God for all of it?

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Right. And, uh,

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Um, and then I started realizing just a few weeks after that, I was driving to

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work and I was angry with God.

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And I said to him, why did you make me this way?

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And I was talking to him about the anxiety that I was struggling with.

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Because after I found out about all those betrayals, one of the women started

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stalking me online and started treating me like I was the bad person.

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It was crazy.

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You all, I felt like I was in this like crazy movie.

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I'm like, is this really happening?

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Um, and I just started like, at that time I was long before I came into this

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community, but I had just had this online conference.

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I was, I was really public with my faith.

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And, uh, and when that happened, I just felt this like retreat feeling like I

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just pulled off all my online stuff because this woman was like stalking me

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everywhere.

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She just kept showing up on all my different online platforms, DMing me and

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sending me just horrible things, things I never wanted to know about her and the

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girl's dad as well.

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And, and all of that.

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And so I'm sharing all that with you to say this, that when I partnered with the

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retreat, the anxiety increased, it didn't go away.

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And so that day in the car, that's why I was saying that to God, like, why did you

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make me this way?

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And you know what he said back to me?

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He said, I didn't.

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And I was like, aren't literally you all not like out loud, but I was having this

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internal dialogue and argument with the Lord.

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Right.

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And I was like, yes, you did.

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I've been like this forever because as long as I could remember back to being a

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kid, I could remember all this fear and anxiety and panic.

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And the Lord said, Bethany, I did not make you that way.

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Trauma and the things that happened to you, like that's what's caused all this.

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That was the open door.

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And so I really started leaning into that a lot.

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And again, this is before I came into Jackie's community.

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And so when I came in and started learning the heart work, it was like all these dots

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started getting connected because it all made sense even more than it already did

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before that time.

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And so I'm sharing that with you to say this, we can also conquer something in a

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prior season and then go through something later that because of the depth of the

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pain that we feel, it unlocks another Pandora's box, so to speak.

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OK, because there was another part of my heart and life that all that betrayal and

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all that stuff linked right into my dad leaving our family and betraying my mom and

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betraying us. And I had dealt with that quite a bit, you all, before that point.

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But it was very real how deeply that went in me.

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And so it was another revealing for healing.

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And it basically gave me another level.

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OK, this is what I want to encourage you with.

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When I overcame this, this most current time, when all that anxiety flooded in and

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God was having that conversation with me in the car and then I started learning and

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realizing, wait a minute, OK, God did not like I wasn't born with anxiety.

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I wasn't born this way.

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That's something I learned.

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It's something I learned, it's something that I even without meaning to partnered

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with and because I learned it and I partnered with it, it grew right now, obviously

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the enemy assaults us and attacks us and all of that.

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OK, that's a part of that.

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But I want you to understand, man, when I got set free from this now, guess what?

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You ever have you ever have any of you ever played a video game?

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Anybody Mario Brothers or anything?

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Yeah. OK, so you'll get this analogy then, at least most of you.

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So it's like collecting coins, if you will.

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OK, I leveled up.

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That's what happened here.

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And the second situation when I overcame all the lies and everything that flooded in on

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that time, not only did I have this prior victory to to grow from of overcoming fear

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and anxiety, but now now I knew the enemy's tactic and I had his number.

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Now, I don't I don't go after looking for the devil, y'all, but this is important, I

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want you to understand that there are layers to healing, there's layers to

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forgiveness, there's layers to revelation, and sometimes you all are going to

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encounter things that you're like, what the heck?

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I thought I overcame this already.

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And you're going to feel this frustration.

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I want you to know it's normal.

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But I I want to just declare over the over all of you that if you just keep going, if

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you keep asking God really good questions, because that's what I did in the car that

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day, I was like totally honest with God, like, why did you make me this way?

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Because that's what I was believing.

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And He lovingly responded with the truth.

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And because of that, we had a deeper conversation, right?

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But I had to keep asking Him and talking to Him.

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And then I had to listen to the truth through the heart work

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and really lean into, okay, where did this really start for me?

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Why did the enemy have this inroad into my mind and my heart?

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Like, okay, where is this rooted at?

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Are there other aspects within me that I partner with,

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you know, fear or anxiety or panic or worry?

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Because I want to get this stuff out.

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And so if you are someone that has struggled with those things

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or even any kind of other battle,

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I just want you to know, don't give up, okay?

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God loves you.

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He wants to set you free more than you even want to be set free.

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I know that might be hard to imagine,

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but He wants you set free more than you even desire to be set free.

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So be vigilant.

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Have this alert, like vigilance is being alertly watchful.

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It's watching out to avoid danger.

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But here's the reality.

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Know that Jesus is sitting at the right hand of the Father interceding for you,

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that we have this armor of God that we can put on every day.

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And one of the armor pieces is, hey, right at the tail end of that scripture,

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it talks about the glory of the Lord being our rear guard.

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So guess what, ladies?

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God protects us on every side.

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I want you to hear that.

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There was even this story in the Bible,

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if you guys haven't read it before,

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and I don't even remember the name of the person,

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but it's when, you know, basically the servant, the person,

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I'm sorry, I'm drawing a blank,

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or I would just tell you who it was in the Bible,

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but he's like basically praying for his servant's eyes to be opened

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because he knew in the Spirit,

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he could see in the Spirit that God was with them.

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And when he prayed for his servant's eyes to be opened,

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y'all, a whole host of army angels was there.

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Yeah, it was either Elijah or Elisha.

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That's what I was thinking too, Amanda,

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but I didn't want to say the wrong one.

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But so I want you all to start to think of the thing that you are struggling with.

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And even like, I know I haven't gotten back to everything y'all put in the chat,

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but God sees them.

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I might not get back to that, but it matters that you put it in there.

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But basically, I want you to imagine like that's the reality,

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whether we realize it or not,

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is that there's this host of angel armies

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that God sends out to war and fight for us and with us

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when we are trying to overcome things,

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when we are fighting to get the breakthrough that we need.

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Fear is false evidence appearing real.

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So the things that y'all put in the chat,

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I'll go ahead.

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I might not get to everybody's,

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but I'm going to read a couple of these right now.

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Let's see here.

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Fear around finances, fear that came from mom, fear and work.

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Let's see here.

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Parents, oh, parents fears and it's leaking onto us.

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Yeah, more about work, frequently stressed

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because having trouble with keeping up with demands.

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Yeah, a lot of overwhelm.

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Some of that can, you know, come from how we're made too.

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We have a lot of high level responsibility.

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And so then when other people aren't doing their things,

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then we feel more fear or stress.

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Let's see here.

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Another from mom.

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Anxiety about getting stuck, anxiety all through school.

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I mean, these are all, if y'all just keep reading those

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and think about those.

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Okay, where is the false evidence appearing real?

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So let's just take school, for example.

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I know that there's a lot of people,

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even I have a friend right now here in the church.

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She said to me one day, well, I never went to college.

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And she kind of said it in a conversation

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where she felt kind of internally counted out.

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Like she couldn't do something

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because she hadn't been to college.

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And I was like, well, do you want to go to college now?

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I mean, that was just my response to her

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because here's the thing we needed to get to the root of.

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Okay, well, why was that what she said?

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Right?

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And she was feeling like God calling her into something new,

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but she was hearing this lie that she couldn't do it

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because she hadn't been to college.

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Okay, now maybe the other people's is something

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like you were trying to do schoolwork

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and you just really struggled in a certain area as a kid.

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My little Olivia, she's my youngest spiritual daughter.

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She's not so young anymore, y'all.

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She's 19, she's 20.

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She's 20 now.

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But when she was younger, she really struggled with math.

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She struggled with spelling

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and had a lot of anxiety and panic around homework time.

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And that was a struggle.

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It was a struggle even for me, because I was trying to help her, but she just was so stressed, I couldn't even, like, I didn't even know how to help her.

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So, I don't know any parents in here, if you've ever been through that with your kids, it's a very stressful situation sometimes, when you want to help them and you don't know how to help them overcome their own panic or anxiety.

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So, parents, maybe your kids are battling that, okay?

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Because sometimes things can jump a generation, maybe it was mom and dad or grandparents that struggled with anxiety and panic, and now it's showing up in your kids.

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And you might not have battled that, so you may not fully understand.

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You know, there's just all kinds of levels of this, but where is the false evidence appearing real?

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What is the enemy trying to convince you of that is not truth?

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So, we want to also understand that anxiety is fueled by fear.

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So, they all kind of work together, but anxiety fuels fear.

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Anxiety are generally what-if thoughts, what if this happens, what if that happens, what if they say this about me, what if they think this, you know?

402
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Where we just start to allow our minds to go down roads and paths that are not beneficial for us.

403
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So, another example of how this starts to happen is, let's say, I'll give another example of someone that I was just ministering to on Sunday.

404
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This is someone that's already struggling, kind of a little bit newer believer, and no matter where you're at in your walk with the Lord, this can happen.

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She just has a lot of heart healing and some things that she's really needing God to minister to her in, and then she lost her job like a week ago.

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And when she lost her job, kind of like the floodgate for me of when I found out about the betrayals, it just kind of unleashed all this other stuff.

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And before, you know, she knew it, it's like, why did God do this to me?

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Do you see how this works? Okay.

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Well, what was really going on there is she's afraid. She's afraid.

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She doesn't know if God's going to provide for her, you know, why did this happen, what did I do wrong?

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And so this whole internal dialogue started to roll, this B-roll, if you will.

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You know, when you're making a movie or any kind of video, you shoot the video and then you also have B-roll, okay?

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So, I want you all to be thinking and talking to the Lord, like, what's the B-roll?

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What's the B-roll? What's the subconscious dialogue that is happening behind the scenes, if you will,

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that is constantly fueling what you're thinking and feeling about every situation you go through?

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Trauma that happened to us isn't what stops us from living the amazing life that God has for us.

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It's the lies that we believe as a result of the trauma.

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So, that's what informs that B-roll that I'm talking about, okay?

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That's what's informing the subconscious to tell you something that isn't true.

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Fear and anxiety feed off of the lies we believe.

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So, remember I'm saying fear is false evidence appearing real. That's fact number one.

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Then anxiety is fueling that fear.

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Well, fear and anxiety are built off of all these lies that we believe, right?

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So, that's why in this course we talk a lot about we want to pray and ask God to help us get to the root of the matter.

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That's where the revealing for healing process is so powerful.

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When we look at problem areas or areas that we feel stuck or the areas that the enemy wants to convince us that we're never going to break free from this,

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it's always going to be this way, I'm never going to find somebody who loves me,

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whatever that starts to sound like for you, that is a signal that you are believing lies in those areas.

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Yours might also sound like for some of you when you have a lot of self-deprecating thoughts, intrusive thoughts,

430
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like you just, you feel really like a lot of self-pity internally, even if you don't mean to,

431
00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:26.000
like you just tend to kind of cycle around the same kind of thoughts about your life,

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and internally you feel very hopeless, okay?

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Those are all feeding off of lies that you believe.

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And so we need to ask the Lord to help us to identify what are the lies and where did they start, okay?

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What are the lies and where did they start?

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00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:53.000
And this is going to happen even as some of you start to step out and to do some new things,

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like, you know, we have some of our Phase 2 ladies, I think, here joining us tonight.

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When you start to try to date again,

439
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It's going to be, you're going to think when you go into phase two, you're going to be like,

440
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yes, I've overcome this.

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And then something's going to happen.

442
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:08.600
And you're like, oh my gosh.

443
00:30:09.920 --> 00:30:12.280
And all these things are going to bubble up to the surface.

444
00:30:12.320 --> 00:30:13.400
That's not a bad thing.

445
00:30:13.760 --> 00:30:15.120
We want that to happen.

446
00:30:15.120 --> 00:30:20.320
And hey, what better place for it to happen when you're here in this community and we can help you.

447
00:30:20.600 --> 00:30:22.000
And that's what the coaching is for.

448
00:30:23.160 --> 00:30:27.080
In the live sessions that we do as well as in the groups and community.

449
00:30:27.480 --> 00:30:33.760
And so I want to look just really briefly at the heart workbook and page, my page, or sorry, 72.

450
00:30:33.760 --> 00:30:35.160
Your page might be a little different.

451
00:30:35.480 --> 00:30:37.360
I'm in chapter, hold on.

452
00:30:37.360 --> 00:30:38.880
I try to at least tell you guys the chapter.

453
00:30:38.880 --> 00:30:40.240
Now I'll make it a little easier for you.

454
00:30:40.280 --> 00:30:41.120
Chapter five.

455
00:30:41.360 --> 00:30:43.200
This is where she's talking about the heart womb.

456
00:30:43.200 --> 00:30:47.800
Remember the heart, everything we, everything that's put in it, you know, it's got this womb in there.

457
00:30:47.800 --> 00:30:49.520
Maybe the soil is really good.

458
00:30:49.840 --> 00:30:51.640
And so everything you put in there is going to grow.

459
00:30:51.640 --> 00:30:55.360
If you're putting a bunch of not good stuff in there, well, guess what's going to grow out of there.

460
00:30:55.360 --> 00:31:00.480
Again, going back to that Proverbs 4.23, but this is where she's talking about the biggest lie.

461
00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:02.720
That's what I want to focus on just for a few moments.

462
00:31:04.520 --> 00:31:13.360
You know, the reality that not everybody even understands that the way they've been thinking and living is dysfunctional.

463
00:31:14.160 --> 00:31:20.800
That it's not healthy, that God actually has greater ways of living and thinking for you.

464
00:31:21.080 --> 00:31:30.240
And so sometimes what has to happen is we have to have somebody that says, Hey, this isn't healthy the way that you're thinking about this.

465
00:31:30.320 --> 00:31:32.840
Like, I love you, but this is, this is the truth.

466
00:31:32.840 --> 00:31:39.720
So for example, she says here, the biggest lie that we might believe in life is that our life is normal.

467
00:31:40.640 --> 00:31:47.960
And what she's referring to is the brokenness that we have lived in and been raised in, or the way that we think that's broken.

468
00:31:47.960 --> 00:31:50.760
Orphan mentalities, limiting beliefs, all of that stuff.

469
00:31:51.280 --> 00:31:55.520
So many people that live broken lives believe it's reasonable to live that way.

470
00:31:55.800 --> 00:31:58.840
They have inherited that emotional debt or trauma from their family.

471
00:31:58.840 --> 00:32:08.400
And they think it's normal to be overweight, to be unhappy, to be unfaithful, to be in a relationship where someone mistreats you, or to be sick all the time.

472
00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:15.320
They think it's okay to have massive amounts of debt and spend all their energy trying to figure out how to pay the bills.

473
00:32:15.680 --> 00:32:23.080
Or an even more severe deception, like it's normal to abuse and hurt other people or yourself.

474
00:32:23.120 --> 00:32:31.520
Or, Hey, she goes on, when, when we're abused, actually believing that this happens to everybody.

475
00:32:32.640 --> 00:32:34.240
It doesn't happen to everybody.

476
00:32:34.680 --> 00:32:36.480
Y'all, these aren't healthy ways to live.

477
00:32:36.920 --> 00:32:43.640
Um, I can remember, and I love my mom, for those of you that have been around for a while, you know, she passed away back in 2022.

478
00:32:44.080 --> 00:32:55.600
Um, but I learned a lot from my relationship with her and just even thinking back when I was growing up, um, my mom was a single mom of four.

479
00:32:55.640 --> 00:32:58.680
So I'm not here to bash her or fault her.

480
00:32:58.680 --> 00:33:04.080
I understand the dynamic of what she was dealing with and the ways that her own parents checked out.

481
00:33:04.080 --> 00:33:07.760
Her dad committed suicide before I was even born.

482
00:33:07.800 --> 00:33:13.560
I mean, there was just a lot going on in that whole family, a lot of abuse that trickled down through my mom's family.

483
00:33:14.160 --> 00:33:18.840
Um, but what I do know is that my mom thankfully still did go to work.

484
00:33:18.840 --> 00:33:19.600
Praise the Lord.

485
00:33:19.600 --> 00:33:24.600
Because there are some parents that don't even go to work and, you know, provide nothing for their kids.

486
00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:27.400
But my grandparents helped us out a lot, thankfully.

487
00:33:27.400 --> 00:33:28.760
And we had a house to live in.

488
00:33:28.760 --> 00:33:36.600
My mom did go to work, but when she came home, you all a lot, I remember her like just laying on the couch and watching TV.

489
00:33:36.600 --> 00:33:42.720
And that like, that was the night or on the weekends, like she would be up in a room like all day.

490
00:33:42.720 --> 00:33:44.040
She would never come down.

491
00:33:44.240 --> 00:33:51.000
She like, literally, I can remember as a kid making trays of, you know, flowers and breakfast.

492
00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:53.280
And I just wanted to make my mom happy.

493
00:33:55.240 --> 00:34:12.080
Well, as a kid, if I flip that around and I start to look at what I wonder what was really going on in my head a little bit, you know, like as a kid, I had enough understanding to know my mom was sad and wouldn't get out of bed.

494
00:34:13.719 --> 00:34:19.840
So there's things that, you know, that can start to even feed into that.

495
00:34:19.840 --> 00:34:24.400
It's my responsibility to take care of an adult.

496
00:34:25.400 --> 00:34:28.199
Now, you might think, well, how does that partner with fear or anxiety?

497
00:34:28.199 --> 00:34:39.960
Well, if I'm not being taken care of as a kid in certain ways, and I feel neglected and abandoned in different levels, I wasn't allowed to have my emotions.

498
00:34:40.159 --> 00:34:43.920
I was sent to my room a lot.

499
00:34:45.639 --> 00:34:50.520
Well, then this other, these other fears and internal dialogue start to grow, don't they?

500
00:34:51.120 --> 00:34:52.159
Most times they do.

501
00:34:52.639 --> 00:34:54.880
So I just want you to be thinking about your own life.

502
00:34:54.880 --> 00:35:00.160
Like, again, what happened and what were the things that were informing your thoughts, even as children?

503
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.960
children, and to know that God wants to teach you something new.

504
00:35:04.960 --> 00:35:14.160
And so I feel like I've learned a lot about how to, you know, really create a loving environment

505
00:35:14.160 --> 00:35:15.920
with family, with friends.

506
00:35:15.920 --> 00:35:21.400
I don't get it perfect, you all, but I definitely do my best to try to create a new normal and

507
00:35:21.400 --> 00:35:23.960
something that's based on God's love and his truth.

508
00:35:23.960 --> 00:35:28.040
And some of that is like coming out of the dysfunction.

509
00:35:28.040 --> 00:35:32.920
It's setting boundaries, even when it's hard with people that, you know, aren't healthy

510
00:35:32.920 --> 00:35:36.940
so that I can have a healthier life in the days ahead.

511
00:35:36.940 --> 00:35:42.060
So as we've been talking about all this tonight, I want you to also get really good at pausing

512
00:35:42.060 --> 00:35:47.580
when you're going through situations and asking God, okay, what are the facts?

513
00:35:47.580 --> 00:35:52.800
Because if I know that fear is false evidence appearing real, what are the facts?

514
00:35:52.800 --> 00:35:57.860
What's the, like, what's true in this situation?

515
00:35:57.860 --> 00:36:02.400
So if you're not sure what the facts are, what the truth is, you can go to the Word

516
00:36:02.400 --> 00:36:05.840
and look at what the truth is, okay?

517
00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:07.480
So what is the truth about you?

518
00:36:07.480 --> 00:36:08.800
What does God say about you?

519
00:36:08.800 --> 00:36:09.960
How does he feel about you?

520
00:36:09.960 --> 00:36:11.160
How does he think?

521
00:36:11.160 --> 00:36:16.760
You know, looking at that, but then you can also look at the truth of the situation.

522
00:36:16.760 --> 00:36:22.400
For example, when I started really waking up to, okay, why am I letting this guy treat

523
00:36:22.400 --> 00:36:25.040
me this way?

524
00:36:25.040 --> 00:36:26.340
I don't know why I'm doing that.

525
00:36:26.340 --> 00:36:27.340
Why am I doing that?

526
00:36:27.820 --> 00:36:32.800
Well, the truth was I was afraid to lose the girls because I'd already been through that

527
00:36:32.800 --> 00:36:37.960
with my ex-husband when he took my stepson from me and withheld him from me.

528
00:36:37.960 --> 00:36:42.840
Because as soon as I said I wanted a divorce, I wasn't allowed to see him anymore.

529
00:36:42.840 --> 00:36:49.320
And that was the thing, fear of losing the girls was fueling my decision to stay with

530
00:36:49.320 --> 00:36:52.880
someone that was super toxic and unhealthy.

531
00:36:52.880 --> 00:36:54.360
And then I had to unpack it more.

532
00:36:54.380 --> 00:36:59.180
Okay, another truth is that, well, what am I teaching them by staying?

533
00:36:59.180 --> 00:37:00.180
Right?

534
00:37:00.180 --> 00:37:06.900
Because they were seeing me being mistreated over and over and over again.

535
00:37:06.900 --> 00:37:11.020
After I broke up with their dad, Michaela, she was the older of the two.

536
00:37:11.020 --> 00:37:15.460
This one night we were having a conversation and she ended up telling me that one time

537
00:37:15.460 --> 00:37:23.960
when we were out to dinner, she saw her dad texting another woman and she felt terrible

538
00:37:24.140 --> 00:37:30.140
because she knew that she was a kid and she didn't know what to do.

539
00:37:30.140 --> 00:37:33.540
And she carried that for all those years until she finally told me.

540
00:37:33.540 --> 00:37:42.460
I mean, like we were able to kind of pinpoint, she was probably only 10 or 11.

541
00:37:42.460 --> 00:37:48.060
She didn't tell me until she was like 17 or 18 years old.

542
00:37:48.060 --> 00:37:52.580
And so those are the kind of things, even that can create a lot of anxiety and panic

543
00:37:52.680 --> 00:37:53.680
in a kid.

544
00:37:53.680 --> 00:37:54.680
Right?

545
00:37:54.680 --> 00:37:57.960
So again, I'm just trying to stoke some things that maybe some of us have been through or

546
00:37:57.960 --> 00:38:02.520
our kids have been through to help us look at these different dynamics.

547
00:38:02.520 --> 00:38:07.420
And so I was able to give her the truth, like that was not her fault.

548
00:38:07.420 --> 00:38:10.000
That was not her responsibility.

549
00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:14.520
And you know, I was able to love on her and just like really minister to her regarding

550
00:38:14.520 --> 00:38:18.660
just, you know, I'm sorry that that was even a situation that you were in.

551
00:38:18.660 --> 00:38:21.600
It wasn't my fault that she was in that situation.

552
00:38:21.620 --> 00:38:24.820
But I can still love her and try to help her process that.

553
00:38:24.820 --> 00:38:25.820
Right?

554
00:38:25.820 --> 00:38:29.140
And so God's trying to do the same for you tonight.

555
00:38:29.140 --> 00:38:33.860
Where he's trying to come and say, Hey, like this happened to you.

556
00:38:33.860 --> 00:38:36.420
And I'm really sorry that this is something that you went through.

557
00:38:36.420 --> 00:38:37.780
That wasn't your fault.

558
00:38:37.780 --> 00:38:40.180
It wasn't your responsibility.

559
00:38:40.180 --> 00:38:43.540
You know, this fear and anxiety you've been battling because of that, I want to come in

560
00:38:43.540 --> 00:38:44.540
and heal that.

561
00:38:44.540 --> 00:38:45.660
And I want to be here with you.

562
00:38:45.660 --> 00:38:50.140
And so I hope that you're starting just a sense just in that the vein of things that

563
00:38:50.140 --> 00:38:54.020
God loves you and he wants to restore all the broken and fallen places.

564
00:38:54.020 --> 00:38:59.640
So as we turn to him and get more and more rooted and grounded in his love, you know,

565
00:38:59.640 --> 00:39:06.920
understanding who God is as love to us, not just to everybody else, but to us, that that

566
00:39:06.920 --> 00:39:11.120
can help us overcome those fears more and more and more.

567
00:39:11.120 --> 00:39:16.000
Just as a reminder, the more that we know the truth, that's what sets us free, right?

568
00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:20.540
So the more that we know the truth of God's love, love is the opposite of fear.

569
00:39:20.540 --> 00:39:21.540
Okay.

570
00:39:21.540 --> 00:39:24.040
Well, faith is the opposite of fear too.

571
00:39:24.040 --> 00:39:28.880
But I also think love is the opposite of it being rooted and grounded in it.

572
00:39:28.880 --> 00:39:35.180
So are you someone who struggles with, okay, I, I know this is good right now, but I just

573
00:39:35.180 --> 00:39:36.920
know the other shoe's going to drop.

574
00:39:36.920 --> 00:39:39.080
Like this is only going to last for so long.

575
00:39:39.080 --> 00:39:41.960
And then, you know, this is all there is to this.

576
00:39:41.960 --> 00:39:45.860
If that is something that you struggle with, then fear and anxiety are probably running

577
00:39:45.860 --> 00:39:48.600
rampant in your subconscious.

578
00:39:48.600 --> 00:39:53.320
Do you tend to think of the worst case scenario instead of the best case scenario about people,

579
00:39:53.320 --> 00:39:55.320
about situations?

580
00:39:55.320 --> 00:39:59.640
Do you hear a siren and think something happened immediately to someone you love?

581
00:39:59.640 --> 00:40:00.080
Are you someone?

582
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.280
When that, when, when people don't respond to your texts in the timeframe that you

583
00:40:04.280 --> 00:40:09.520
think that they should add, you think things like, oh my gosh, they must be mad

584
00:40:09.520 --> 00:40:11.680
at me, they don't care about me.

585
00:40:12.480 --> 00:40:17.360
Or if it's a guy, he must be talking to someone else, especially if you've been

586
00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:20.620
through betrayal before, that's going to show you where you're at regarding

587
00:40:20.620 --> 00:40:21.920
being able to trust people.

588
00:40:22.760 --> 00:40:27.000
I'm not pretty enough or good enough or whatever that dialogue is that starts to

589
00:40:27.000 --> 00:40:32.200
happen because we're in this, this era where everybody's getting back to

590
00:40:32.200 --> 00:40:33.680
everybody so fast.

591
00:40:33.680 --> 00:40:35.040
There's like not no pause.

592
00:40:35.040 --> 00:40:35.440
Right.

593
00:40:36.600 --> 00:40:40.280
And so if you are someone that doesn't want to constantly like literally have your

594
00:40:40.280 --> 00:40:43.480
phone constantly like, okay, I'm going to answer everybody right away later.

595
00:40:44.560 --> 00:40:48.560
Then if you have friends that are insecure, well, what happens with those

596
00:40:48.560 --> 00:40:49.520
friend dynamics?

597
00:40:50.160 --> 00:40:51.360
It's not super healthy, is it?

598
00:40:51.960 --> 00:40:55.080
Well, no, because they're, they're getting triggered all the time and they need you

599
00:40:55.080 --> 00:40:58.600
to constantly tell them that you're good, you're good, you're good, you're good.

600
00:40:59.040 --> 00:41:02.320
Y'all, if you have friends like that, I'm not saying just drop your, all your

601
00:41:02.320 --> 00:41:02.760
friends.

602
00:41:02.760 --> 00:41:07.320
Okay, don't, don't hear me saying that, but I want you to understand that that's

603
00:41:07.320 --> 00:41:08.360
not healthy.

604
00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:15.840
And, and sometimes the only way people will change is when we change and we set

605
00:41:15.840 --> 00:41:22.560
boundaries and we say, Hey, I love you, but you know, um, I'm not going to text

606
00:41:22.560 --> 00:41:28.080
past this time at night, or, you know, I was, you know, I'm at work and I'm not

607
00:41:28.080 --> 00:41:31.760
going to respond to text messages during work hours or whatever.

608
00:41:31.760 --> 00:41:33.200
And you can do that with friends.

609
00:41:33.200 --> 00:41:36.360
You can do that when you go into phase two and you start dating again.

610
00:41:36.640 --> 00:41:40.360
And guess what you all, we don't have to be afraid that these people are going to

611
00:41:40.360 --> 00:41:42.520
stop caring about us.

612
00:41:42.960 --> 00:41:48.040
And if that is something that we are afraid of, then we need to pay attention to

613
00:41:48.040 --> 00:41:48.760
that too.

614
00:41:49.760 --> 00:41:55.080
People approval runs rampant with fear and anxiety and, and really, you know, a

615
00:41:55.080 --> 00:41:58.840
lot of people are afraid to actually say what they think and feel because they're

616
00:41:58.840 --> 00:42:03.400
afraid the person's going to drop them in this unfriend society.

617
00:42:04.240 --> 00:42:04.800
Right?

618
00:42:06.240 --> 00:42:06.680
Okay.

619
00:42:06.680 --> 00:42:11.800
Cause friends are ghosting friends now, even more than, than men and women are

620
00:42:11.920 --> 00:42:12.840
ghosting each other.

621
00:42:12.840 --> 00:42:14.560
It's happening more and more and more.

622
00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:20.520
Let's really work on communicating and saying how we feel if they react and

623
00:42:20.520 --> 00:42:25.320
don't handle it well, that's, that's on them, but we can do our best to be

624
00:42:25.320 --> 00:42:28.480
healthy and walk in healthy patterns and habits.

625
00:42:30.200 --> 00:42:30.440
Yeah.

626
00:42:30.440 --> 00:42:32.440
Even, even our kids can ghost us.

627
00:42:32.440 --> 00:42:32.720
Yeah.

628
00:42:32.720 --> 00:42:34.640
And we can't change what people do.

629
00:42:34.640 --> 00:42:37.720
We can't control them, but we can absolutely pray for them.

630
00:42:37.720 --> 00:42:41.720
And we can try to, you know, again, live and thrive and hopefully that will

631
00:42:41.720 --> 00:42:43.400
invite them into that place.

632
00:42:43.840 --> 00:42:44.480
All right.

633
00:42:44.480 --> 00:42:48.080
So first John four 18 in the amplified version says there's no fear in love.

634
00:42:48.080 --> 00:42:54.480
Dread does not exist, but perfect, complete, full-grown love drives out fear

635
00:42:54.840 --> 00:42:58.720
because fear involves the expectation of divine punishment.

636
00:42:59.120 --> 00:43:04.440
So the one who is afraid of God's judgment is not perfected in love, which

637
00:43:04.440 --> 00:43:09.520
mean has not grown into a sufficient understanding of God's love.

638
00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:15.080
And I remember reading this a few years back and just thinking, wow, like, okay.

639
00:43:15.080 --> 00:43:23.440
So if I have any fear in me, the truth is I have not been

640
00:43:23.440 --> 00:43:26.000
perfected in love in that area.

641
00:43:27.920 --> 00:43:29.480
So I want you just to think about that.

642
00:43:29.960 --> 00:43:32.760
It's not saying we have to be for perfect or we're never going to have

643
00:43:32.760 --> 00:43:34.720
any struggles or anything like that.

644
00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:40.680
But I do want you to really consider and understand that if there's an area where

645
00:43:40.680 --> 00:43:47.680
we are partnering with fear in that area, we have not grown into a sufficient

646
00:43:47.680 --> 00:43:49.760
understanding of God's love for us.

647
00:43:51.600 --> 00:43:56.240
And what would it look like to invite God into that area to give us a

648
00:43:56.240 --> 00:43:58.960
deeper understanding of his love there?

649
00:44:00.120 --> 00:44:03.560
John three 16 says for God to love the world that he gave his only begotten

650
00:44:03.560 --> 00:44:09.400
son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

651
00:44:11.440 --> 00:44:13.280
For many of you, you've heard this song before.

652
00:44:13.280 --> 00:44:15.600
I'm going to read some song lyrics really quickly.

653
00:44:15.640 --> 00:44:18.280
There's a song that I would love for y'all to listen to this week.

654
00:44:18.280 --> 00:44:20.880
It's called fear is a liar by, by Zach Williams.

655
00:44:20.880 --> 00:44:24.720
Even if you've heard it before, even if you listened to it before, after I coach

656
00:44:24.720 --> 00:44:30.040
this, you know, this is where, again, I believe new information can be available

657
00:44:30.080 --> 00:44:33.840
to us every single time because you're not who you were yesterday.

658
00:44:34.080 --> 00:44:37.280
We had a lady, um, the same lady that shared for the first time this

659
00:44:37.280 --> 00:44:43.720
afternoon, um, she got a revelation of something just by the way that

660
00:44:43.720 --> 00:44:48.600
Andrea said it today, that's how, that's how simple like dots can get connected.

661
00:44:49.000 --> 00:44:53.200
And sometimes you all, what it is, is we're at the right place at the right

662
00:44:53.200 --> 00:44:55.800
time with the right heart for that revelation to come.

663
00:44:56.920 --> 00:44:58.040
That's what's happening.

664
00:44:58.680 --> 00:44:59.160
Okay.

665
00:44:59.160 --> 00:45:00.120
Yes.

666
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.000
Oh, here are their lyrics. It says when he told you you're not

667
00:45:03.000 --> 00:45:07.160
good enough. When he told you you're not right when he told

668
00:45:07.160 --> 00:45:10.200
you you're not strong enough to put up a good fight. When he

669
00:45:10.200 --> 00:45:13.800
told you you're not worthy when he told you you're not loved.

670
00:45:14.040 --> 00:45:17.000
When he told you you're not beautiful, you'll never be

671
00:45:17.000 --> 00:45:22.480
enough. Fear he is a liar. He will take your breath, stop you

672
00:45:22.480 --> 00:45:27.600
in your steps fear. He is a liar. He will rob your rest,

673
00:45:27.600 --> 00:45:32.640
steal your happiness, cast your fear in the fire. Because fear

674
00:45:32.640 --> 00:45:36.240
he is a liar. When he told you you were troubled, you'll

675
00:45:36.240 --> 00:45:39.520
forever be alone. When he told you that you should run away,

676
00:45:39.520 --> 00:45:43.080
you'll never find a home. When he told you that you were dirty

677
00:45:43.080 --> 00:45:46.920
and you should be ashamed. When he told you you that you could

678
00:45:46.920 --> 00:45:51.800
be the one that grace could never change. Oh, fear he is a

679
00:45:51.800 --> 00:45:55.520
liar. He will take your breath, stop you in your steps fear. He

680
00:45:55.520 --> 00:46:00.080
is a liar. He will rob your rest, steal your happiness. So

681
00:46:00.080 --> 00:46:04.320
cast your fear in the fire. Because fear he is a liar.

682
00:46:05.400 --> 00:46:09.560
Really, really important ladies, the enemy is trying to say all

683
00:46:09.560 --> 00:46:13.800
of these lies. And I love the lyrics there because you know,

684
00:46:14.080 --> 00:46:17.800
even when he says when he told you you were dirty, and you

685
00:46:17.800 --> 00:46:22.080
should be ashamed. There's a lot of people men and women alike

686
00:46:22.080 --> 00:46:27.480
that that actually believe when they tell their spirit mate, the

687
00:46:27.480 --> 00:46:30.960
truth of their life, that they're not going to really be

688
00:46:30.960 --> 00:46:37.200
accepted. Y'all that's fear. That's lies. Because when you

689
00:46:37.200 --> 00:46:40.040
have a spirit mate who is healthy, and, and that is

690
00:46:40.040 --> 00:46:45.000
someone that God is leading you to together, God will give them

691
00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:50.240
the grace and the ability to love you, no matter what the

692
00:46:50.240 --> 00:46:56.760
backstory is. That's the truth. Okay. All right, so let that

693
00:46:56.760 --> 00:47:01.160
soak in. Let that soak in and let's cast fear out tonight.

694
00:47:01.160 --> 00:47:04.400
Hebrews 12, one says, therefore, since we are surrounded by such

695
00:47:04.400 --> 00:47:07.880
a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that

696
00:47:07.880 --> 00:47:11.640
hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run

697
00:47:11.640 --> 00:47:16.240
with perseverance the rates marked out for us. So our

698
00:47:16.240 --> 00:47:19.320
question for the breakouts tonight is what fear are you

699
00:47:19.320 --> 00:47:23.280
going to ask God to help you with? Okay, what fear do you

700
00:47:23.280 --> 00:47:28.280
need to lay at the altar, if you will, tonight, or anxiety?

701
00:47:28.280 --> 00:47:30.760
Remember, I said it can be worry, it can be panic, it can

702
00:47:30.760 --> 00:47:34.800
be any of those things that have really been hovering around in

703
00:47:34.800 --> 00:47:38.640
any way in the last week. All right, let me get these breakout

704
00:47:38.640 --> 00:47:46.120
rooms ready. I'm going to put two of you in a room. I like

705
00:47:46.120 --> 00:47:48.840
having the smaller rooms because I think it's I think you guys

706
00:47:48.840 --> 00:47:56.880
can connect a lot better. Oh, we're losing some people. All

707
00:47:56.880 --> 00:47:59.120
right, I might have to move some people around once you get in

708
00:47:59.120 --> 00:48:02.200
the rooms, because I can't see as people are kind of leaving.

709
00:48:02.600 --> 00:48:08.080
All right, we're gonna do. Let's see, that'll put me I'll do

710
00:48:08.080 --> 00:48:11.400
seven minutes for y'all save a little bit of time. All right,

711
00:48:11.400 --> 00:48:16.280
go ahead and click those rooms to join those. And then as soon

712
00:48:16.280 --> 00:48:18.800
as I get everybody situated for those that aren't able to

713
00:48:18.800 --> 00:48:25.560
join because you're at work or whatnot, then we will pray and

714
00:48:25.800 --> 00:48:32.400
go on from there. All right, Jenna, I think you might have

715
00:48:32.400 --> 00:48:36.840
just joined. Let me give you a room popping up on your screen

716
00:48:36.840 --> 00:48:54.320
there that you can join. Lisa did a poppy back out again. Huh?

717
00:48:55.960 --> 00:48:59.000
I don't know why a lot of weird stuff happened. Actually, when I

718
00:48:59.000 --> 00:49:02.040
was in there, like all these windows kept coming up that I've

719
00:49:02.040 --> 00:49:06.800
never seen before. Okay, let me find you here. Give me a sec.

720
00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:17.000
For no problem. Where are you? Oh, you're under Tagli. That's

721
00:49:17.000 --> 00:49:21.360
why I can't see your name. I think. Oh, I am. That's weird.

722
00:49:21.360 --> 00:49:24.760
Yeah, I see that. That's the beginning of an email address I

723
00:49:24.760 --> 00:49:29.000
have. Yeah, it's okay. You don't have to. Okay. I'm just trying

724
00:49:29.000 --> 00:49:31.720
to make sure I've got two people in all the other rooms. All

725
00:49:31.720 --> 00:49:35.640
right. All right. Now I can put you in. I'm going to enter room

726
00:49:35.880 --> 00:49:40.800
one. All right. Did that pop up for you? Yeah, I have room one.

727
00:49:41.000 --> 00:49:45.920
Okay, awesome. Go ahead and you can join there. All right,

728
00:49:45.920 --> 00:49:49.880
Father, we just thank you so much. For everything that you're

729
00:49:49.880 --> 00:49:54.800
doing tonight. We thank you God that you are. Yeah, Lord, just

730
00:49:54.840 --> 00:49:59.880
just demolishing strongholds that you are breaking fear and

731
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.280
torment off of all of minds, hearts, bodies, spirits, and souls tonight.

732
00:50:04.520 --> 00:50:07.200
We thank you, God, for revealings, for healing that are happening.

733
00:50:07.200 --> 00:50:09.480
We thank you, God, that you are the great dot connector,

734
00:50:09.480 --> 00:50:11.600
that nothing is too hard for you. God,

735
00:50:11.600 --> 00:50:15.000
we thank you that you would bring the truth, you know,

736
00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:18.980
into the core of each one of these ladies that are here live,

737
00:50:18.980 --> 00:50:20.840
as well as those that would watch the replay, God,

738
00:50:20.840 --> 00:50:22.280
that you would help them just to

739
00:50:24.080 --> 00:50:26.440
have a depth of discernment, God,

740
00:50:26.440 --> 00:50:31.360
about the first time fear or anxiety, worry, or panic enter their lives,

741
00:50:31.600 --> 00:50:32.040
Lord, God,

742
00:50:32.040 --> 00:50:36.040
that you would just make it so clear that the memories would just start to pop

743
00:50:36.040 --> 00:50:39.920
to the surface. We just thank you, God, that you would, yeah, Lord,

744
00:50:39.920 --> 00:50:44.080
help them not to dismiss anything thinking it's too small, but God,

745
00:50:44.080 --> 00:50:45.800
that they would honor the memories,

746
00:50:45.800 --> 00:50:48.680
that they would honor the truth that is surfacing and Lord,

747
00:50:48.680 --> 00:50:52.720
that they would bring it to you and allow you to,

748
00:50:53.680 --> 00:50:55.000
yeah, Lord, that you would just,

749
00:50:55.360 --> 00:50:57.200
they would allow you to heal those areas,

750
00:50:57.200 --> 00:50:59.800
but first they would ask you good questions and,

751
00:51:00.040 --> 00:51:03.720
and dive deeper into what you're trying to reveal to them.

752
00:51:04.480 --> 00:51:07.000
John 10, 10, and the Passion Translation says this,

753
00:51:07.000 --> 00:51:11.120
a thief has only one thing in mind. He wants to steal, slaughter, and destroy,

754
00:51:11.160 --> 00:51:14.880
but I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you,

755
00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:19.600
you expect life in its fullness until you overflow. God,

756
00:51:19.600 --> 00:51:22.840
we thank you that even though the thief, Satan,

757
00:51:23.120 --> 00:51:27.840
the devourer of our souls has come to steal and slaughter and destroy.

758
00:51:27.840 --> 00:51:31.360
We thank you that you sent Jesus, your one and only son,

759
00:51:32.160 --> 00:51:34.520
and he chose to come so that we could be set free,

760
00:51:34.520 --> 00:51:36.560
that we could live in abundance, that we could have,

761
00:51:36.920 --> 00:51:40.800
as the scripture declares life in its fullness until it's overflowing.

762
00:51:40.800 --> 00:51:43.160
So God, I thank you that where, um,

763
00:51:43.400 --> 00:51:46.400
where we have felt stuck in the past or limited or God,

764
00:51:46.400 --> 00:51:48.400
that we've just been going around the same mountain.

765
00:51:48.400 --> 00:51:51.200
We thank you God for revelation for life. God,

766
00:51:51.200 --> 00:51:55.280
we thank you for healing and that new things would just start to spring up in

767
00:51:55.280 --> 00:51:59.800
us and start to overflow out of us more and more and more in the days to come.

768
00:51:59.800 --> 00:52:02.200
We thank you that Isaiah 40 verse 31 says,

769
00:52:02.200 --> 00:52:05.320
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.

770
00:52:06.520 --> 00:52:11.240
They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary.

771
00:52:11.240 --> 00:52:16.200
They will walk and not be faint. God, we thank you for, um,

772
00:52:16.200 --> 00:52:19.000
just energy for all of the ladies going through the heartwork.

773
00:52:19.000 --> 00:52:23.000
We thank you God that you would give them the endurance, the strength, um,

774
00:52:23.000 --> 00:52:25.720
that they need God that on the days that they,

775
00:52:25.960 --> 00:52:28.520
the enemy tries to send overwhelm against them. God,

776
00:52:28.520 --> 00:52:32.240
we thank you that you would give them peace that passes all understanding God,

777
00:52:32.240 --> 00:52:35.600
that you would help them to practice guarding their hearts and their minds

778
00:52:35.600 --> 00:52:36.480
through Christ Jesus,

779
00:52:36.480 --> 00:52:40.680
that they would take every thought captive quickly and make it obedient to Jesus

780
00:52:40.680 --> 00:52:43.440
Christ and to the knowledge of the word of God and truth.

781
00:52:43.480 --> 00:52:47.520
We thank you Lord that you would help us as Proverbs 23, 23,

782
00:52:47.520 --> 00:52:52.240
and the passion translation says to embrace the truth and hold it

783
00:52:52.280 --> 00:52:57.040
close. Don't let go of wisdom instruction and life giving understanding.

784
00:52:57.040 --> 00:53:00.240
So God, we thank you that not only would we read the word,

785
00:53:00.640 --> 00:53:02.480
but that we would have revelation of it,

786
00:53:02.480 --> 00:53:06.280
that it would begin to be just illuminating in our spirit,

787
00:53:06.280 --> 00:53:10.760
that we would feel a resonance and a connection with the truth as we read it.

788
00:53:11.360 --> 00:53:15.960
God, we thank you that, yeah, we are your sheep and your sheep hear your voice.

789
00:53:15.960 --> 00:53:16.280
So Lord,

790
00:53:16.280 --> 00:53:19.680
I thank you that you would give us ears to hear what your spirit is saying and

791
00:53:19.680 --> 00:53:22.240
eyes to see what your spirit sees. Um,

792
00:53:22.320 --> 00:53:26.520
when we look at ourselves as well as observe and see things going on with other

793
00:53:26.520 --> 00:53:30.600
people, when we look at even the past and things that we've been through, God,

794
00:53:30.600 --> 00:53:35.520
I thank you for revelation and truth to be there. Um, yes, Lord,

795
00:53:35.520 --> 00:53:40.160
I just heard the Lord say like, just in regards to memories being distorted,

796
00:53:40.640 --> 00:53:45.560
Lord, we thank you that memories would no longer be distorted because even as

797
00:53:45.600 --> 00:53:46.760
young children,

798
00:53:46.800 --> 00:53:51.240
sometimes it can get a little twisted because we don't even have, you know,

799
00:53:51.240 --> 00:53:53.000
when we go through trauma, really young,

800
00:53:53.000 --> 00:53:56.880
we don't even have the mental faculty to process those kinds of things.

801
00:53:57.160 --> 00:54:01.320
And so we can remember it in truth to our ability,

802
00:54:01.320 --> 00:54:04.000
but sometimes even that can, um,

803
00:54:04.120 --> 00:54:07.760
not be the exact way things unfolded. So God,

804
00:54:07.760 --> 00:54:09.080
I just thank you that Jesus,

805
00:54:09.080 --> 00:54:14.000
you would come and you would bring truth into these trauma stories where we

806
00:54:14.040 --> 00:54:18.120
are just really still stuck that you would come and show us Jesus,

807
00:54:18.120 --> 00:54:19.200
where were you at?

808
00:54:19.600 --> 00:54:22.080
And what do you want us to know about those situations?

809
00:54:22.080 --> 00:54:24.680
And we just thank you in advance for those revelations.

810
00:54:24.920 --> 00:54:29.720
We thank you for leading us out of the prison

811
00:54:30.080 --> 00:54:33.920
places and into a wide open space.

812
00:54:34.200 --> 00:54:38.160
We thank you God that you're leading us into even that land that's flowing with

813
00:54:38.160 --> 00:54:43.240
milk and honey, the blessing, the overflow, the healing, God,

814
00:54:43.760 --> 00:54:47.920
um, yeah, just new, new, new. I hear the Lord saying, there's just new, new,

815
00:54:47.920 --> 00:54:49.280
new all around.

816
00:54:49.280 --> 00:54:53.400
So help us to partner with that Lord instead of partnering with that things just

817
00:54:53.400 --> 00:54:56.280
are never going to work out for us. Um,

818
00:54:57.280 --> 00:54:58.600
Ephesians 6, 12 says,

819
00:54:58.600 --> 00:55:00.040
for we are not fighting against

820
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.000
flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen

821
00:55:04.000 --> 00:55:08.600
world, against mighty powers in this dark world and against evil spirits in

822
00:55:08.600 --> 00:55:10.600
the heavenly places."

823
00:55:11.800 --> 00:55:16.720
So just a reminder that we, you know, it's not just us, you know, fighting

824
00:55:16.720 --> 00:55:21.880
situations, but there's principalities and powers at work and the enemy is that

825
00:55:21.880 --> 00:55:23.920
devourer that I was talking about earlier.

826
00:55:23.920 --> 00:55:28.200
He's always trying to figure out how can he steal from us, but praise God that we

827
00:55:28.200 --> 00:55:34.360
are defended and protected by the King of Kings, and he is working on our behalf.

828
00:55:34.360 --> 00:55:37.520
And so the last scripture I'm going to give as the ladies are starting to come

829
00:55:37.520 --> 00:55:42.760
back is Psalms 119 verse 165 in the Passion Translation, and this is what it

830
00:55:42.760 --> 00:55:47.920
says, there is such a great peace and wellbeing that comes to the lovers of

831
00:55:47.920 --> 00:55:51.720
your word, and they will never be offended.

832
00:55:51.720 --> 00:55:56.680
What a great word that the lovers of God's word, that we can live a life where

833
00:55:56.720 --> 00:56:01.120
we just are not easily offendable people.

834
00:56:01.120 --> 00:56:05.240
And so Lord, we just thank you for that in advance in Jesus name.

835
00:56:05.240 --> 00:56:09.560
Welcome back, so glad to see you again.

836
00:56:09.560 --> 00:56:13.680
We're going to go ahead in a moment here, and we're going to do some coaching on

837
00:56:13.680 --> 00:56:19.200
what did you share in your private breakout room about fear, and then we'll

838
00:56:19.200 --> 00:56:22.600
go from there, but I do want to talk to you about the activations before anybody

839
00:56:22.600 --> 00:56:25.000
jumps off of the session tonight.

840
00:56:25.240 --> 00:56:28.200
I will be putting these up in the group, so don't feel like you have to take all

841
00:56:28.200 --> 00:56:29.120
these notes right now.

842
00:56:29.120 --> 00:56:32.680
I just want you to kind of absorb it, and then you can read through the details in

843
00:56:32.680 --> 00:56:36.960
the group page.

844
00:56:36.960 --> 00:56:42.280
I'm going to give you guys some practical ways on practicing receiving, okay?

845
00:56:42.280 --> 00:56:47.040
So this week, I really want you to, and in the days ahead too, but especially this

846
00:56:47.040 --> 00:56:50.160
week, I want you to practice receiving.

847
00:56:50.160 --> 00:56:53.960
So when someone offers to help you, you're not going to give them the reasons that

848
00:56:53.960 --> 00:56:56.000
you don't need them to help you, even if you can do it.

849
00:56:56.000 --> 00:56:59.840
You're going to say, yes, that would be wonderful, and you're going to smile, and

850
00:56:59.840 --> 00:57:01.760
you're going to practice receiving.

851
00:57:01.760 --> 00:57:05.600
But I'm going to give you guys some additional ways, like how to accept

852
00:57:05.600 --> 00:57:09.720
physical assistance, how to ask for skill-based help, like maybe you need help

853
00:57:09.720 --> 00:57:11.120
with something.

854
00:57:11.120 --> 00:57:18.280
So practicing receiving is also practicing asking for help, letting other people

855
00:57:18.280 --> 00:57:22.520
handle things for you, again, things that you could do, and then accepting emotional

856
00:57:22.560 --> 00:57:24.080
support and love from people.

857
00:57:24.080 --> 00:57:28.280
Activation number two is what we call letting go in this community, that we would

858
00:57:28.280 --> 00:57:32.080
lean further into the idea of the supernatural surrender and letting go, in

859
00:57:32.080 --> 00:57:37.640
addition to your Jesus Cares Board, that you would ask the Lord, what do you not

860
00:57:37.640 --> 00:57:41.640
want me to take into the rest of 2026 with me?

861
00:57:41.640 --> 00:57:45.720
Okay, because we've already started 2026, but he wants, like, Lord, where do you

862
00:57:45.720 --> 00:57:50.840
want me to draw a line, like, and not take this thought with me any further, or this

863
00:57:50.840 --> 00:57:57.080
heart posture with me any further, or this trauma situation further into 2026.

864
00:57:57.080 --> 00:58:03.400
And so that you would have some form of a release, I believe in this really a lot,

865
00:58:03.400 --> 00:58:06.960
that's why I talk about it all the time, that I think not only do we need to make

866
00:58:06.960 --> 00:58:11.600
that decision, but having some form of release can really help people connect on

867
00:58:11.600 --> 00:58:12.320
higher levels.

868
00:58:12.320 --> 00:58:17.560
So, for example, Tiffany, our sister in here, actually recently posted a balloon

869
00:58:17.560 --> 00:58:20.480
release that she did, and she did this whole rock.

870
00:58:20.480 --> 00:58:25.000
Beautiful, so powerful, but one of the ideas is a balloon release.

871
00:58:25.000 --> 00:58:28.520
If you're an environmental-friendly person, I'm sorry, I hope this does not

872
00:58:28.520 --> 00:58:29.120
offend you.

873
00:58:29.120 --> 00:58:33.520
I know that some balloons, or most of them, are not environmentally friendly.

874
00:58:33.520 --> 00:58:36.800
Y'all, I'm not trying to hurt any animals, but this is just something that really

875
00:58:36.800 --> 00:58:39.040
helps people, okay?

876
00:58:39.040 --> 00:58:44.120
If you don't want to do that, you can do writing a list of things that you need to

877
00:58:44.120 --> 00:58:46.680
release to the Lord and let go of on a piece of paper.

878
00:58:46.720 --> 00:58:51.240
You can put that in some kind of safe container and burn it and watch that kind

879
00:58:51.240 --> 00:58:53.080
of be released that way.

880
00:58:53.080 --> 00:58:57.160
You can get some stones by water and, like, you know, pray over what you're

881
00:58:57.160 --> 00:58:59.520
releasing by what, like, say...

882
00:58:59.520 --> 00:59:00.480
I'm just going to give an example.

883
00:59:00.480 --> 00:59:10.480
Say one of my stones is releasing, you know, my anxiety over my girls not making

884
00:59:10.480 --> 00:59:11.120
healthy choices.

885
00:59:11.120 --> 00:59:12.720
I'm just kind of putting that out there.

886
00:59:12.720 --> 00:59:16.120
And I'm going to pray over that, and I'm going to release that, and then I'm going

887
00:59:16.120 --> 00:59:17.200
to toss that.

888
00:59:17.200 --> 00:59:18.520
If you want to skip it, great.

889
00:59:18.520 --> 00:59:21.240
If you just want to plunk it, that's awesome, too.

890
00:59:21.240 --> 00:59:26.400
But the point is, like, that action of releasing that burden off of yourself,

891
00:59:26.400 --> 00:59:32.600
that anxiety off of yourself, that worry off of you, and just letting it go, okay?

892
00:59:32.600 --> 00:59:39.000
And I love when you guys kind of have some way of what I call a monument,

893
00:59:39.000 --> 00:59:41.400
remembering what you're doing.

894
00:59:41.440 --> 00:59:47.080
So take a picture of the rocks before you throw them and remember that moment

895
00:59:47.080 --> 00:59:48.800
of releasing that thing.

896
00:59:48.800 --> 00:59:50.960
If you're going to release balloons, same kind of thing.

897
00:59:50.960 --> 00:59:53.040
Take a picture, share that in the group.

898
00:59:53.040 --> 00:59:56.280
This is how, again, you all can choose to come into community.

899
00:59:56.280 --> 00:59:58.800
You can say, hey, like, Tiffany was so brave.

900
00:59:58.800 --> 01:00:00.000
She shared with us everything.

901
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.800
that she was letting go, the process of what God led her through.

902
01:00:03.240 --> 01:00:08.960
And I loved when she said, I originally was going to hide the rock in the woods

903
01:00:08.960 --> 01:00:14.960
somewhere, but God was like, no, I want you to put it out where other people can

904
01:00:14.960 --> 01:00:15.560
see it.

905
01:00:15.920 --> 01:00:16.800
And I love that.

906
01:00:16.800 --> 01:00:18.600
That is so God.

907
01:00:19.560 --> 01:00:23.400
That is so God, not only for her, but I'm like, I can't wait.

908
01:00:23.400 --> 01:00:27.000
I like, I wish I could have a little camera waiting one day when somebody sees

909
01:00:27.000 --> 01:00:29.920
that rock and all of a sudden they realize God loves them.

910
01:00:30.120 --> 01:00:33.400
Cause I think that's going to happen, but anyways, you all let's do this.

911
01:00:33.400 --> 01:00:37.720
Let's come into community and share, um, as you're doing these activations.

912
01:00:37.760 --> 01:00:38.240
All right.

913
01:00:39.320 --> 01:00:39.800
Awesome.

914
01:00:39.800 --> 01:00:42.400
So I see Leslie and Tiffany have their hands up already.

915
01:00:42.400 --> 01:00:45.960
So Leslie, let's hear what you have to share tonight.

916
01:00:51.160 --> 01:00:51.800
Oh, you're muted.

917
01:00:52.000 --> 01:00:52.280
Yep.

918
01:00:52.600 --> 01:00:53.280
And I'm mute.

919
01:00:54.040 --> 01:00:59.800
Um, so I shared that I won't feel worthy or comfortable with a man who is

920
01:00:59.800 --> 01:01:00.880
emotionally healthy.

921
01:01:02.080 --> 01:01:02.440
Okay.

922
01:01:02.440 --> 01:01:03.640
Tell me more about that.

923
01:01:05.280 --> 01:01:16.760
Uh, well, the bad habit that I have of attracting unhealthy men and, um, the

924
01:01:16.760 --> 01:01:20.280
ones that are healed and healthy, I'm afraid.

925
01:01:21.440 --> 01:01:22.000
Okay.

926
01:01:22.520 --> 01:01:24.520
But what is the lie that you're hearing?

927
01:01:24.520 --> 01:01:27.560
Is it that you're not good enough?

928
01:01:27.560 --> 01:01:29.360
What, what's the lie that you're hearing?

929
01:01:30.080 --> 01:01:31.040
Definitely that.

930
01:01:32.520 --> 01:01:32.840
Okay.

931
01:01:32.840 --> 01:01:33.840
Is there any others?

932
01:01:35.000 --> 01:01:49.600
Um, uh, I think here, um, I guess my, my weaknesses come up and they feel big to me.

933
01:01:50.320 --> 01:01:50.680
Okay.

934
01:01:51.680 --> 01:01:52.400
That's all right.

935
01:01:54.080 --> 01:01:54.400
Okay.

936
01:01:54.400 --> 01:01:55.800
So here's the thing.

937
01:01:56.360 --> 01:02:02.240
Um, number one, everybody at some point has had some level of healing.

938
01:02:02.240 --> 01:02:03.320
They've had to walk through.

939
01:02:03.600 --> 01:02:03.840
Okay.

940
01:02:03.840 --> 01:02:07.560
If they're a healthy person, there's nobody that's completely perfect.

941
01:02:07.560 --> 01:02:07.840
Okay.

942
01:02:07.840 --> 01:02:08.280
Ladies.

943
01:02:08.960 --> 01:02:13.840
So what can happen is this is where we would put people on pedestals, right?

944
01:02:14.200 --> 01:02:18.560
And the Lord doesn't want us to put people on pedestals or to minimize

945
01:02:18.560 --> 01:02:22.560
ourselves because someone else is healthy, because what we're doing is

946
01:02:22.560 --> 01:02:25.880
we're actually saying I'm not healthy, but they're healthy.

947
01:02:27.040 --> 01:02:27.840
Does that make sense?

948
01:02:28.240 --> 01:02:35.240
And so when you feel what you said first is I won't feel safe with someone healthy.

949
01:02:35.840 --> 01:02:42.120
And so basically we need God to continue to heal the times that you were not with.

950
01:02:42.600 --> 01:02:48.720
Safe people where you started to learn the dialogue that chaos and unhealthy

951
01:02:48.720 --> 01:02:51.720
would be your life, that that's just what you should settle for.

952
01:02:52.320 --> 01:02:52.760
Right.

953
01:02:53.440 --> 01:02:57.800
And, and as the Lord keeps healing you from those kinds of lies or like, this

954
01:02:57.800 --> 01:03:02.280
is just my life, this is just how it's going to be, this is what I deserve.

955
01:03:03.080 --> 01:03:07.640
Or even sometimes like that lady I was talking about, um, when I was with

956
01:03:07.640 --> 01:03:10.720
her at lunch yesterday, she said something that this guy that she's been

957
01:03:10.720 --> 01:03:14.240
dating on and off for seven years said to her, I don't even remember what it

958
01:03:14.240 --> 01:03:18.640
was, but like he, he cursed at her and basically told her in addition to that,

959
01:03:18.640 --> 01:03:19.400
that she was stupid.

960
01:03:20.040 --> 01:03:21.720
And I just, I just looked at her.

961
01:03:21.720 --> 01:03:25.240
I said, you know, that like, that's not truth about you.

962
01:03:25.240 --> 01:03:26.280
And that's not healthy.

963
01:03:26.280 --> 01:03:29.680
That's not a loving thing for someone to say to you, you know?

964
01:03:29.680 --> 01:03:34.120
And she cried, you know, cause we know the truth deep down.

965
01:03:34.120 --> 01:03:36.880
I think we really, you know, there's this part of us that's like,

966
01:03:37.680 --> 01:03:38.880
well, that was really horrible.

967
01:03:39.480 --> 01:03:42.800
And we don't want to believe that stuff, but yet there's this other side of us.

968
01:03:42.800 --> 01:03:45.400
That's basically leading us to stay in that.

969
01:03:46.200 --> 01:03:52.080
And it is the belief that we don't deserve better because we, we think

970
01:03:52.080 --> 01:03:54.000
there's something wrong with us.

971
01:03:54.840 --> 01:03:56.680
And that's, what's at the core, Leslie.

972
01:03:56.920 --> 01:04:00.920
So this is, this goes back to identity, you know, who are you in

973
01:04:00.920 --> 01:04:04.280
Christ and you are not your mistakes.

974
01:04:04.440 --> 01:04:06.400
You know, our past doesn't define us.

975
01:04:06.440 --> 01:04:08.240
It doesn't have to define us ladies.

976
01:04:09.480 --> 01:04:10.000
Okay.

977
01:04:10.360 --> 01:04:16.280
And, you know, I, I also want to say that I understand what you're saying

978
01:04:16.280 --> 01:04:23.320
too, because when I met, um, Mike, my husband, Brian, he hadn't had all

979
01:04:23.320 --> 01:04:24.960
the trauma that I did growing up.

980
01:04:25.800 --> 01:04:26.240
Yeah.

981
01:04:26.240 --> 01:04:27.880
His parents were married.

982
01:04:28.320 --> 01:04:29.560
They hardly fought.

983
01:04:30.120 --> 01:04:35.200
Um, he had trauma with his prior marriage and prior relationship after that.

984
01:04:35.240 --> 01:04:43.880
But like, I had a lot of stuff and I remember just thinking, like, I don't

985
01:04:43.880 --> 01:04:49.640
know, like if, if this is going to work, cause he's like, like really good and I'm

986
01:04:49.640 --> 01:04:52.680
not, and so I understand what you're saying.

987
01:04:52.720 --> 01:04:56.640
And I had to partner with a, that's not true.

988
01:04:57.480 --> 01:04:58.720
I am a good person.

989
01:04:58.760 --> 01:05:00.080
I've just been through a lot.

990
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:11.000
And I chose some unhealthy things because I went through really unhealthy things and I didn't have anybody to teach me to make healthier choices.

991
01:05:11.000 --> 01:05:19.000
And even when I came out and told my mom in high school what happened, like, she didn't help me process that.

992
01:05:19.000 --> 01:05:25.000
So I was flying solo on my own, trying to figure it out, making all kinds of mistakes.

993
01:05:25.000 --> 01:05:33.000
And so I had to partner with, God, I trust that you're going to give him the grace to love me just the way that I am.

994
01:05:33.000 --> 01:05:36.000
And I'm not less than.

995
01:05:36.000 --> 01:05:40.000
You know, and really partnering with what my value is, what do I bring to the table?

996
01:05:40.000 --> 01:05:43.000
I'm a pretty awesome person. And I'm not saying that pridefully, you all.

997
01:05:43.000 --> 01:05:48.000
Like, I genuinely believe that in my heart about myself now.

998
01:05:48.000 --> 01:05:52.000
Like, I know my heart. I know the kind of person that I am.

999
01:05:52.000 --> 01:06:05.000
And so knowing who you are, knowing what you bring to the table, you know, is going to be really key for you because that's going to change the way that you show up in relationship when people are healthy or even unhealthy.

1000
01:06:05.000 --> 01:06:10.000
Because when you show up and you know who you are, the unhealthy, you're like, yeah, that doesn't look so good anymore.

1001
01:06:10.000 --> 01:06:17.000
Because because we when we're healthy, we're like, yeah, I don't want that life.

1002
01:06:17.000 --> 01:06:26.000
And so the same thing happens where we can also start to like, you know what, God, that is the life that you have for me.

1003
01:06:26.000 --> 01:06:32.000
I can learn how to function in a healthy relationship and dynamic without a bunch of chaos.

1004
01:06:32.000 --> 01:06:36.000
And you will have times when you step into those kind of relationships.

1005
01:06:36.000 --> 01:06:41.000
I remember having a conversation and my husband knows this. It's not him.

1006
01:06:41.000 --> 01:06:45.000
But after I got married, I talked to Jackie. I'm like, I'm kind of bored.

1007
01:06:45.000 --> 01:06:49.000
And she's like, yeah, because you don't have a bunch of chaos.

1008
01:06:49.000 --> 01:06:53.000
I was like, oh, you're so right.

1009
01:06:53.000 --> 01:06:59.000
That is what's happening here because I had to learn a new normal. I had to learn how to live in healthy.

1010
01:06:59.000 --> 01:07:04.000
So it takes time. It's a process just like anything else, but you can totally do it.

1011
01:07:05.000 --> 01:07:13.000
You can totally do it. But let's get to the root of, you know, what other areas do you need to grow in your identity in Christ and really knowing what your worth is?

1012
01:07:16.000 --> 01:07:20.000
Like going back to the stuff that I hear.

1013
01:07:20.000 --> 01:07:23.000
Like the weaknesses, you mean?

1014
01:07:23.000 --> 01:07:31.000
Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, it could be the weaknesses, but it's also just really, again, anytime these kind of things show up,

1015
01:07:31.000 --> 01:07:39.000
it is that we like we might know in our head that we are the beloved, that we are God's daughter, that he has good things for us.

1016
01:07:39.000 --> 01:07:45.000
But if our heart and our subconscious don't believe those things, that's what I'm saying.

1017
01:07:45.000 --> 01:07:47.000
The head and the heart need to start to sync up.

1018
01:07:47.000 --> 01:07:52.000
Well, that happens when we heal more and we get more rooted and grounded in our identity in Christ.

1019
01:07:52.000 --> 01:07:55.000
And that comes through healing.

1020
01:07:56.000 --> 01:08:04.000
Why do some people, even if they're at the same healthy level, you know, or same unhealthy level or whatever,

1021
01:08:04.000 --> 01:08:15.000
why do some people just capitalize on all of their strengths and they just present a more healed package, even though they might not be more healed?

1022
01:08:16.000 --> 01:08:24.000
Well, I think most of us want to show people our positive side more than our negative side, right?

1023
01:08:24.000 --> 01:08:28.000
So I don't know the person or the dynamics.

1024
01:08:28.000 --> 01:08:31.000
So I'd have to know more of that to give you a better answer.

1025
01:08:31.000 --> 01:08:37.000
But I just think most people want to put their best foot forward.

1026
01:08:37.000 --> 01:08:41.000
And the reality is, is not everybody can maintain that long term.

1027
01:08:42.000 --> 01:08:47.000
If it's fake, if it's not who they really are, they're not going to be able to keep that up forever.

1028
01:08:47.000 --> 01:08:54.000
So if someone is genuinely a good person and they're telling you who they really are, well, they're going to be able to maintain that in the long run.

1029
01:08:54.000 --> 01:09:03.000
So that's how you know if what they're telling you about themselves that's good, if that's genuine, if that's really who they are.

1030
01:09:03.000 --> 01:09:07.000
If they're not, they'll reveal themselves in time.

1031
01:09:08.000 --> 01:09:12.000
So I don't know. I don't know why some people do that.

1032
01:09:12.000 --> 01:09:21.000
But typically, most of us want people to think good of us and we try to put our best foot forward first, which isn't unhealthy to do.

1033
01:09:21.000 --> 01:09:31.000
It just depends on if the person is someone who has unhealthy patterns of trying to lure people with a bunch of flashy stuff that isn't really genuine.

1034
01:09:32.000 --> 01:09:36.000
So I think that's the difference. And I'm guessing that's kind of where your question is coming from.

1035
01:09:38.000 --> 01:09:45.000
Yeah, I think I always had the tendency of, oh, let me show you my weaknesses to make sure you're not going to reject me.

1036
01:09:46.000 --> 01:09:50.000
Well, and that's that goes back to your identity stuff that I'm saying to you.

1037
01:09:50.000 --> 01:09:56.000
I really think that, you know, we don't need to be like it's kind of like I told you guys before.

1038
01:09:56.000 --> 01:09:58.000
If you're new here, you wouldn't have heard the story.

1039
01:09:58.000 --> 01:10:00.000
But the first date I had with my husband.

1040
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.800
husband, he's like, I like Legos and Marvel, because his wife

1041
01:10:03.800 --> 01:10:07.520
used to like, be really like, put him down a lot because he

1042
01:10:07.520 --> 01:10:10.580
liked those things when he was married before. And so he wanted

1043
01:10:10.580 --> 01:10:13.260
to make sure I wasn't going to reject him. And he wanted to

1044
01:10:13.260 --> 01:10:17.400
make sure of that on the first date. And so I think that

1045
01:10:17.400 --> 01:10:21.880
people Yeah, struggle with that kind of stuff. But again, um,

1046
01:10:22.040 --> 01:10:25.760
the more that you heal, hopefully, the more that you

1047
01:10:25.760 --> 01:10:29.120
will know, again, that you're not defined by your past, and

1048
01:10:29.120 --> 01:10:33.720
that you can trust God to defend you instead of leaning into I

1049
01:10:33.720 --> 01:10:36.520
got to get all the mess out. So somebody doesn't reject me,

1050
01:10:36.840 --> 01:10:38.160
because that's not healthy.

1051
01:10:39.120 --> 01:10:42.160
Well, and I would say it's not even stuff from my past. It's my

1052
01:10:42.160 --> 01:10:45.760
current weaknesses. Well, that's okay. Either way, it's not

1053
01:10:45.760 --> 01:10:50.680
really, you want to organically get to know someone and pace

1054
01:10:50.720 --> 01:10:54.800
really well. So putting all of our weaknesses out there is

1055
01:10:54.800 --> 01:10:57.560
actually going to present opportunity for trauma bonding.

1056
01:10:59.880 --> 01:11:05.120
Yeah. So you should, you know, when you're in the next phase,

1057
01:11:05.120 --> 01:11:08.200
they coach on kind of the progress and things like that.

1058
01:11:08.800 --> 01:11:11.880
The levels of relationship where you guys can learn how to pace

1059
01:11:11.880 --> 01:11:14.640
really well and what to share and whatnot. But great

1060
01:11:14.640 --> 01:11:17.600
questions, Leslie. So glad to hear what you're sharing. But

1061
01:11:17.600 --> 01:11:19.920
yeah, I would lean definitely into the identity stuff. And

1062
01:11:19.920 --> 01:11:23.440
that should get you kind of keep you going in the right direction

1063
01:11:23.440 --> 01:11:27.440
for sure. Yeah, great questions. You're welcome. Thanks for

1064
01:11:27.440 --> 01:11:28.880
sharing. Tiffany, go ahead.

1065
01:11:30.600 --> 01:11:37.840
Okay, so I am almost through week five. So I'm super excited

1066
01:11:37.840 --> 01:11:44.600
about that. I am seeing differences. I'm like, I'm being

1067
01:11:44.600 --> 01:11:49.200
able to see circumstances and going, that's God saying, Hey,

1068
01:11:49.200 --> 01:11:53.560
this is how you show up. And so that's super cool. And I'm so

1069
01:11:53.560 --> 01:11:57.320
excited. Even when I don't do it perfectly. I'm like, I

1070
01:11:57.320 --> 01:12:03.080
saw it. So that's really exciting. Along this journey, I

1071
01:12:03.080 --> 01:12:07.720
have a very precious friend who has not done the heartwork, but

1072
01:12:07.720 --> 01:12:11.840
she has been, we've been kind of walking this together. And

1073
01:12:11.840 --> 01:12:15.600
she's been allowing the Lord to walk her through heartwork.

1074
01:12:16.360 --> 01:12:24.280
Well, a few months ago, she met a guy, and she is living with

1075
01:12:24.280 --> 01:12:29.360
him now. And I just found out about two weeks ago, that she's

1076
01:12:29.360 --> 01:12:35.360
pregnant. And there was no judgment because I mean, I know

1077
01:12:35.360 --> 01:12:41.760
my testimony, I can't judge. And so I was good when when we

1078
01:12:41.760 --> 01:12:46.160
visited, I was encouraging and supportive and all of those

1079
01:12:46.160 --> 01:12:55.480
things. But since then, because we, like we were so we all have

1080
01:12:55.480 --> 01:13:01.280
our own walks, and I get it. But the lie is starting to try to

1081
01:13:01.280 --> 01:13:10.040
come back, that if she couldn't maintain, I'm just scared. And I

1082
01:13:10.040 --> 01:13:14.760
know, like, I know, I've talked to you and Andrew both about it.

1083
01:13:14.760 --> 01:13:18.160
And it's, I've got some healing, and I've got the

1084
01:13:18.160 --> 01:13:21.800
community, and I'm not going to be doing it by myself. And it's

1085
01:13:21.800 --> 01:13:25.680
just what you were telling the other lady, like, it's had

1086
01:13:25.680 --> 01:13:31.160
knowledge, and I get it. But I don't know what to do with this.

1087
01:13:31.400 --> 01:13:37.560
Because I'm feeling like I want to run. And I can't.

1088
01:13:38.040 --> 01:13:42.680
Yeah. Yeah. And part of that, too, is there's a whole lot

1089
01:13:42.680 --> 01:13:48.360
that's probably tied up in there, too. And so number one,

1090
01:13:49.960 --> 01:13:55.080
is how can you maintain, I'm going to assume that not make

1091
01:13:55.080 --> 01:13:58.320
the same mistakes that she just made. That's what I'm assuming

1092
01:13:58.320 --> 01:14:02.240
you're saying there. And you know, I'm going to tell you this

1093
01:14:02.240 --> 01:14:06.640
right now, it's, it's not going to be easy. Okay. But it is, it

1094
01:14:06.640 --> 01:14:11.560
is possible. Okay. I didn't use to be able to make those those

1095
01:14:11.560 --> 01:14:14.680
choices either. Because in the past, I struggled to set

1096
01:14:14.680 --> 01:14:18.320
boundaries. And when I was with the girl's dad, I mean, he was,

1097
01:14:18.400 --> 01:14:25.760
I mean, it was really bad. He was very mean, and would, like,

1098
01:14:25.840 --> 01:14:28.440
scream and peel out and all kinds of stuff. If I didn't do

1099
01:14:28.440 --> 01:14:32.320
things he wanted me to do, and all of those things. Saying all

1100
01:14:32.320 --> 01:14:37.000
that to say that, when I was in relationship with Brian, when I

1101
01:14:37.000 --> 01:14:40.880
would face the same kind of battles that were fleshly, if

1102
01:14:40.880 --> 01:14:44.720
you will, or lustful, because that's where I learned my whole

1103
01:14:44.720 --> 01:14:50.640
life. I had to stand up against that stuff. Okay, so I had to

1104
01:14:50.640 --> 01:14:53.320
learn. So when I started tonight's session, one of the

1105
01:14:53.320 --> 01:14:57.040
things I was talking about, is that as a community, we really

1106
01:14:57.040 --> 01:15:00.000
want to teach you all all of us, we all have

1107
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.760
learn this in different ways. And the areas where we are weak, we have to learn how to develop a

1108
01:15:05.760 --> 01:15:12.240
muscle in that area. So if we are weak in our ability to resist lust, well, it's kind of like

1109
01:15:12.240 --> 01:15:20.080
we have to understand that some of us have like child likeness in that area, okay, if you will.

1110
01:15:20.880 --> 01:15:27.760
And just like a kid, a baby has to learn how to crawl, then they have to learn how to walk,

1111
01:15:27.760 --> 01:15:32.400
then they learn other things from there like riding a bike. So think of all the muscles that

1112
01:15:32.400 --> 01:15:38.640
get developed along the way. And so where you're at is that you have to keep developing your

1113
01:15:38.640 --> 01:15:44.960
muscles and there are definitely ways we coach people on, okay, simple things like don't invite

1114
01:15:44.960 --> 01:15:50.080
guys into your house, only date in public. If you're someone that struggles with a lot of

1115
01:15:50.080 --> 01:15:55.200
lustful things or have fallen into that stuff in the past, there's absolutely guardrails that we

1116
01:15:55.200 --> 01:16:04.000
can put in place to protect ourselves, okay. And so the reality is, is that sometimes people start

1117
01:16:04.000 --> 01:16:08.480
dating and then they go into isolation and they don't, they're not really open and forthcoming

1118
01:16:08.480 --> 01:16:16.240
about how that whole dynamic is going, right. And so we all have a choice on not doing that

1119
01:16:16.240 --> 01:16:21.680
and coming into community, staying accountable, not only with this online community, but someone

1120
01:16:21.680 --> 01:16:31.760
that is safe, that is an in-person person, that is someone that has overcome that area themselves

1121
01:16:31.760 --> 01:16:39.280
as well. That's what I would recommend. So that could even be a counselor locally, you know, but

1122
01:16:39.280 --> 01:16:45.120
a mentor, someone that is further along in their journey and, you know, where you're just putting,

1123
01:16:45.200 --> 01:16:51.680
if you will, training wheels on your bike too. So I would consider that additional support systems

1124
01:16:52.320 --> 01:16:57.520
in person to help us develop the new muscles that we need to develop. Does that make sense?

1125
01:16:58.320 --> 01:17:05.040
Yes. Yeah. And so there's nothing wrong with us as adults saying, I'm an adult, but I feel really

1126
01:17:05.040 --> 01:17:11.120
kind of like a kid in this area and I need help to grow and mature so that I don't keep making

1127
01:17:11.120 --> 01:17:15.920
these same mistakes that a kid would make or someone that has, you know, had struggles in

1128
01:17:15.920 --> 01:17:22.560
these areas might make. And so it's like when I have you guys, when you start the

1129
01:17:22.560 --> 01:17:28.080
heartwork, you know, I talk a lot about being really honest with ourselves. You know, when we're

1130
01:17:28.080 --> 01:17:33.280
really honest about where we're at and like what we need help with, which is what you're doing

1131
01:17:33.280 --> 01:17:38.560
tonight, you're saying, okay, I feel this fear because here's my friend that's been walking on

1132
01:17:38.560 --> 01:17:42.320
this journey with me. And now like, even though I've made these mistakes in the past, I don't

1133
01:17:42.320 --> 01:17:45.600
want to make these mistakes anymore. And now she's made them. And so I'm afraid that I'm going to do

1134
01:17:45.600 --> 01:17:53.120
that too. Well, you're not her. Would you maybe be tempted in the future with the same things?

1135
01:17:53.120 --> 01:18:03.040
Maybe, but you get to choose what you're going to do. Okay. And so no matter what you want to

1136
01:18:03.040 --> 01:18:09.520
center yourself in the truth of all the progress that you've made and that you can absolutely bring

1137
01:18:09.520 --> 01:18:15.040
support team around you and support systems to help you not make the same mistake in the future.

1138
01:18:16.720 --> 01:18:27.840
Will a healthy guy be willing to accept those boundaries? Yes. Even if he doesn't struggle

1139
01:18:27.840 --> 01:18:34.400
with it. Yeah. Yes. If he struggles with it, if he doesn't struggle with it, if he's a healthy guy

1140
01:18:35.280 --> 01:18:42.240
and he values covenant and he values you and fighting for that. Yes. 100%. He's going to,

1141
01:18:42.240 --> 01:18:45.520
he's going to honor that and fight for that with you. He's going to be a team.

1142
01:18:46.240 --> 01:18:50.800
We want y'all to look for teammates, people that are going to work with you, not

1143
01:18:50.800 --> 01:18:53.360
try to convince you to do something that you don't want to do.

1144
01:18:53.680 --> 01:18:57.600
So one of the things Brian and I, we're doing, we're leading and coaching in the

1145
01:18:57.600 --> 01:19:02.160
Simbas group right now. And we just talked to them about the whole sex content the other night.

1146
01:19:02.160 --> 01:19:09.040
And one of the things I said is that, you know, if someone is pressuring you to do something,

1147
01:19:09.040 --> 01:19:18.560
that's a flag right there. But the other aspect is for me, like I had to write out what my values were.

1148
01:19:18.880 --> 01:19:25.760
Write out what my values were. And I made a promise to myself this last time around.

1149
01:19:26.480 --> 01:19:32.080
And I literally wrote this on there. These are what my values are. I will not go against my own

1150
01:19:32.080 --> 01:19:39.120
values ever again. And I put that somewhere where I could see it every single day. I put it inside

1151
01:19:39.120 --> 01:19:45.920
of my pantry and I read what my values were. I read it out loud to myself, but I also read that

1152
01:19:45.920 --> 01:19:53.920
line. I will not go against my values ever again for anybody. That was a game changer for me.

1153
01:19:55.920 --> 01:19:59.840
Because I was saying that I matter and I'm not.

1154
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.440
going to devalue myself any more. Does that make sense?

1155
01:20:06.160 --> 01:20:07.440
Yes, very much.

1156
01:20:07.440 --> 01:20:10.800
Yeah. So that might be something that will be helpful for you too, Tiffany,

1157
01:20:10.800 --> 01:20:15.200
where you really write out what are your values? What are the things that you're just like,

1158
01:20:15.200 --> 01:20:22.160
I'm not like, I don't want to go against my value in this way. So for me, one of them was,

1159
01:20:22.160 --> 01:20:28.160
I am not going to have sex outside of marriage. I'm not going to do things physically that would

1160
01:20:28.160 --> 01:20:36.400
cause me to lust. You know, like there were a lot of things like I had to be a little more extreme

1161
01:20:36.400 --> 01:20:41.360
because of things that I was trying to protect myself from. And not only that, you all,

1162
01:20:41.360 --> 01:20:47.600
I wasn't just trying to protect myself in those moments. I was trying to be a kinsman redeemer

1163
01:20:47.600 --> 01:20:53.280
and overcome the spirit of lust in my family. It was, it was about more than just me.

1164
01:20:53.280 --> 01:20:59.760
And that is what gave me the courage to stand up against it. So you got to know your why.

1165
01:21:01.280 --> 01:21:09.440
If your why is just to get to the altar, I mean, that's good, but it really needs to be more than

1166
01:21:09.440 --> 01:21:15.200
that. It needs to be that you want to value yourself. You want to love yourself really well,

1167
01:21:15.200 --> 01:21:21.200
because you know what happens when we go against our values, we start hating our self.

1168
01:21:23.280 --> 01:21:30.960
It happens. That's what happens. Resenting ourselves. And it's just internally in there

1169
01:21:30.960 --> 01:21:38.640
that we just feel like we just don't like who we are. So standing up for our values is really,

1170
01:21:38.640 --> 01:21:45.280
really important for sure. Yeah. Great questions, Tiffany. Thank you. You're welcome. Thanks for

1171
01:21:45.280 --> 01:21:58.400
sharing. Kathleen Saxton. Hey, it's my first time on the fears. Thanks. The fears that I shared

1172
01:21:59.440 --> 01:22:07.440
with Leslie was I'm afraid of making mistakes and I have a fear of disappointing God.

1173
01:22:08.400 --> 01:22:15.040
Hmm. And I think a lie underneath some of that is if people get to know me, they'll leave.

1174
01:22:16.160 --> 01:22:24.240
And as far as God goes, like he's been the only good, like the real only super, super good thing.

1175
01:22:24.240 --> 01:22:30.080
I don't want to mess it up, you know, like, or the lie could be like, what was the song lyric?

1176
01:22:30.800 --> 01:22:37.360
I could be one of the ones that grace couldn't change. So, but I had another question.

1177
01:22:39.120 --> 01:22:45.360
Um, I, I struggle like doing the heartwork is like, yeah, I want to do this. This is like

1178
01:22:45.360 --> 01:22:50.480
something I love doing is digging into heartwork and myself and trying to figure out how I can

1179
01:22:50.480 --> 01:22:56.080
change and be better. But one of the things I haven't really answered within myself is,

1180
01:22:56.960 --> 01:23:06.400
is it okay to get remarried? Like I, I was in a marriage for 27 years and then it started to turn

1181
01:23:07.280 --> 01:23:12.720
emotionally abusive. And then finally, when it turned a little physically with my kids, then I,

1182
01:23:12.720 --> 01:23:17.520
I left and I heard separate. And then finally I chose to divorce.

1183
01:23:18.480 --> 01:23:25.760
Um, after the divorce, then my ex has been confessed, uh, some porn addiction.

1184
01:23:26.320 --> 01:23:32.000
So the reason I even signed up was because of that scripture about like,

1185
01:23:34.160 --> 01:23:36.640
except for sexual immorality, like.

1186
01:23:39.200 --> 01:23:44.480
Yeah. So let me, let me help you out a little bit on this. I'm looking for what week it's in

1187
01:23:44.560 --> 01:23:50.800
right now. Give me one sec. Cause I can't remember. I thought it was in here.

1188
01:23:53.520 --> 01:23:57.440
If we took it out, I'm going to have to ask about it being put back in because it should

1189
01:23:57.440 --> 01:24:09.440
be in here. Yeah. Okay. So in week five, even though you just started, um, there is a video

1190
01:24:09.440 --> 01:24:16.080
session on divorce and remarriage. Highly recommend you listen to that. Um, but don't

1191
01:24:16.080 --> 01:24:20.160
like if you go and listen to that, don't go through all the, don't pass all the other stuff.

1192
01:24:20.160 --> 01:24:24.240
Like I want you to still go into week one, but I think that'll set you free. And a lot of the

1193
01:24:24.240 --> 01:24:29.920
questions that you have and I'll give you some answers on, um, what scripture really says about

1194
01:24:29.920 --> 01:24:37.360
divorce and remarriage. It'll be really, really helpful for you. Um, on the, if people get to

1195
01:24:37.360 --> 01:24:42.560
know me, they'll leave. When is the first time that, you know, you went through things in your

1196
01:24:42.560 --> 01:24:50.160
life and you felt like when somebody got to know you, they left. My dad was a pilot and I bonded

1197
01:24:50.160 --> 01:24:55.600
pretty well with him, but he would constantly leave. So he would spend, because he was a pilot,

1198
01:24:55.600 --> 01:24:59.840
he would, that was his profession. But then.

1199
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:07.240
It repeated as like friend cycles of friends would only talk to me if the richer friends

1200
01:25:07.240 --> 01:25:08.240
weren't there.

1201
01:25:08.240 --> 01:25:15.000
Or if I once confessed a sexual abuse experience to a friend and they yelled it out on the

1202
01:25:15.000 --> 01:25:17.440
bus and then they weren't my friend again.

1203
01:25:17.440 --> 01:25:18.440
Things like that.

1204
01:25:18.440 --> 01:25:24.480
And then as an adult, I had similar scenarios where if someone found out I was struggling

1205
01:25:24.480 --> 01:25:29.040
with depression, they weren't my friend anymore, like a church person or, you know, like I'm

1206
01:25:29.120 --> 01:25:31.240
too messed up or whatever.

1207
01:25:33.320 --> 01:25:34.560
OK, let's finish that.

1208
01:25:34.560 --> 01:25:37.360
That's that's I think that that's going somewhere.

1209
01:25:37.360 --> 01:25:38.520
You're too messed up.

1210
01:25:38.520 --> 01:25:39.720
Let's finish that statement.

1211
01:25:39.720 --> 01:25:41.280
What what would that sound like?

1212
01:25:47.880 --> 01:25:51.560
I'm not sure how to finish that statement, it seems pretty ending.

1213
01:25:51.560 --> 01:25:55.000
OK, I just want to make sure there wasn't because it kind of sounded like you were you

1214
01:25:55.000 --> 01:25:57.600
were going somewhere else with that and then you just stopped.

1215
01:25:57.600 --> 01:26:01.120
So I wasn't sure because sometimes people, as they're starting to actually say this stuff

1216
01:26:01.120 --> 01:26:05.280
out loud, then they feel like afraid, like, oh, my gosh, I just said that out loud.

1217
01:26:05.560 --> 01:26:07.440
So I just want to make sure that wasn't happening.

1218
01:26:09.520 --> 01:26:15.760
So when so dad came and when he was a pilot, you guys were super close.

1219
01:26:15.760 --> 01:26:17.400
You have these friends that left.

1220
01:26:18.400 --> 01:26:20.800
Let's look at just a.

1221
01:26:22.760 --> 01:26:25.560
Too messed up, that's kind of where you ended.

1222
01:26:25.920 --> 01:26:28.040
When is the first time you believed that?

1223
01:26:29.000 --> 01:26:33.560
I think I started that out after an incest experience as a kid.

1224
01:26:36.200 --> 01:26:38.040
As a probably four year old or something.

1225
01:26:39.080 --> 01:26:45.200
So I've been in like therapy since I was 19, and now I'm studying psychology and now I'm

1226
01:26:45.200 --> 01:26:48.840
like training to be a therapist now, so I hear other people's stories.

1227
01:26:49.400 --> 01:26:50.800
And so, yeah, it's.

1228
01:26:51.640 --> 01:26:53.560
Yeah, so you can know all this stuff.

1229
01:26:53.560 --> 01:26:57.600
I mean, just, you know, it's really, really good that you have that background and

1230
01:26:57.600 --> 01:26:59.840
information and you've been in counseling that long.

1231
01:27:00.200 --> 01:27:03.360
But the reality is, is that there's layers to healing.

1232
01:27:03.640 --> 01:27:05.240
There's layers to forgiveness.

1233
01:27:05.240 --> 01:27:10.800
And we enter new seasons where God is unpacking something, even if like I said

1234
01:27:10.800 --> 01:27:15.480
earlier, I mean, I had done tons of counseling, tons of stuff before I came into the

1235
01:27:15.480 --> 01:27:21.280
community. And then once I was here, there were just things that I was like, whoa, OK, I

1236
01:27:21.280 --> 01:27:24.760
didn't know I was still struggling with that thing because I was seeing something new

1237
01:27:24.760 --> 01:27:26.320
about it or or whatever.

1238
01:27:26.320 --> 01:27:29.760
And so just know that that's going to be normal.

1239
01:27:29.800 --> 01:27:35.800
So if that happens, it's a good thing, no matter how much we know, you know, before we

1240
01:27:35.800 --> 01:27:36.880
came in the door here.

1241
01:27:37.720 --> 01:27:43.320
And so for me, the reason I'm asking you when is the first time that you had this

1242
01:27:43.320 --> 01:27:46.840
thought is because we really want to ask God.

1243
01:27:47.120 --> 01:27:50.800
It's not just our human knowledge and what we know, but we're asking God to come into

1244
01:27:50.800 --> 01:27:56.760
the core, root core memories, the trauma that informed those belief systems.

1245
01:27:57.120 --> 01:28:02.760
You know, so the fact that you were saying these other things, which is true, if people

1246
01:28:02.760 --> 01:28:05.040
get to know me, you believe the lie that they would leave.

1247
01:28:05.240 --> 01:28:10.040
But at the core, the more that you explained is that you believe the lie that you are too

1248
01:28:10.040 --> 01:28:12.040
messed up for people to love you.

1249
01:28:13.400 --> 01:28:20.400
OK, and so we have to get to the root of that lie and ask God to heal that area so that

1250
01:28:20.400 --> 01:28:23.960
you can start to receive the love and the truth in that area.

1251
01:28:24.960 --> 01:28:29.600
OK, and so even though you've done a lot of work on this, I really want to encourage

1252
01:28:29.600 --> 01:28:36.120
you to ask the Lord, you know, to reveal to you, is it is the root time when you were,

1253
01:28:36.120 --> 01:28:37.520
you know, your incest?

1254
01:28:37.720 --> 01:28:42.320
The other thing I want to just add here for context as well, sometimes our parents

1255
01:28:42.320 --> 01:28:46.240
believe these kind of things and they pass it down generationally to us.

1256
01:28:46.240 --> 01:28:51.600
So I would encourage you to also ask the Lord, is this something that my mom or dad

1257
01:28:51.600 --> 01:28:53.480
struggled with or grandparents or whatever?

1258
01:28:53.480 --> 01:28:59.000
Is there anything that's coming down to me generationally that is, you know, I'm not

1259
01:28:59.000 --> 01:29:02.160
just up against my own battle with this stuff because of what I went through, but

1260
01:29:02.400 --> 01:29:05.600
potentially their battle being passed down as well.

1261
01:29:05.880 --> 01:29:09.200
And let's just see what the Lord reveals through that.

1262
01:29:09.200 --> 01:29:13.160
I would love for you to come in the group and kind of share as you're praying into that

1263
01:29:13.160 --> 01:29:20.160
specifically. And then also this friend, this one on the bus that keeps standing out to

1264
01:29:20.160 --> 01:29:25.040
me, I want to encourage you to do a forgiveness prayer sheet regarding that friend that

1265
01:29:25.040 --> 01:29:29.960
you shared that, you know, that you had been abused and then they yelled it out on the

1266
01:29:29.960 --> 01:29:35.040
bus. OK, that's a pretty big thing to have happen when you're young.

1267
01:29:36.560 --> 01:29:41.520
And so because God's highlighting that to me several times, I really want you to to do

1268
01:29:41.520 --> 01:29:42.760
that forgiveness prayer sheet.

1269
01:29:43.000 --> 01:29:46.640
And you can find any of the worksheets are under the welcome area.

1270
01:29:46.880 --> 01:29:49.040
So you can just print out that forgiveness prayer sheet.

1271
01:29:49.040 --> 01:29:55.280
You want to pray through that and then write out and forgive that person and just write

1272
01:29:55.280 --> 01:29:57.120
down anything that comes to you.

1273
01:29:57.400 --> 01:29:59.960
And if other things come up as you're.

1274
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.980
doing that, you know, you might have other people to forgive and

1275
01:30:03.980 --> 01:30:08.400
you want to do a separate sheet for them. Okay. Okay. So for

1276
01:30:08.400 --> 01:30:11.640
example, this is coming up in my spirit when that was yelled out,

1277
01:30:11.960 --> 01:30:15.560
you know, as a kid, we want to be protected. So did the bus

1278
01:30:15.560 --> 01:30:18.320
driver protected the school protected the parent protect,

1279
01:30:18.320 --> 01:30:21.280
you know, whatever the dynamic was. And so if you if you

1280
01:30:21.280 --> 01:30:25.120
weren't protected, you might need to forgive those that you

1281
01:30:25.120 --> 01:30:31.400
did not feel protected you as well. Okay. And, yeah, so those

1282
01:30:31.400 --> 01:30:33.520
are a couple of pretty big things. So I'm going to have you

1283
01:30:33.520 --> 01:30:37.200
start there this week, and come into the group and let us know

1284
01:30:37.200 --> 01:30:40.360
how that's going. And then we can help you unpack that more.

1285
01:30:42.320 --> 01:30:44.960
Thanks. I appreciate it. Yeah, you're welcome. Thank you for

1286
01:30:44.960 --> 01:30:50.400
sharing. So glad that you're here. Okay, so we're at 930. I'm

1287
01:30:50.400 --> 01:30:52.880
gonna Ladies, I have to shut down for the night. I'm so

1288
01:30:52.880 --> 01:30:56.680
sorry, I normally try to stay on and keep going. But if you

1289
01:30:56.680 --> 01:30:59.720
have your hand raised, and I was not able to get to you, if you

1290
01:30:59.720 --> 01:31:03.360
will come into the group, and let us know what is the fear

1291
01:31:03.360 --> 01:31:07.120
that you are asking God to help you overcome. And then we can

1292
01:31:07.120 --> 01:31:10.080
respond to you there. I'll be in there tonight for a little bit.

1293
01:31:10.080 --> 01:31:13.080
And I'll be in first thing in the morning again. So I can

1294
01:31:13.080 --> 01:31:16.840
respond to your post there. And thank you guys so much for being

1295
01:31:16.840 --> 01:31:19.800
here tonight. I'm gonna go ahead and pray us out. Father, thank

1296
01:31:19.800 --> 01:31:23.240
you so much for your word. Thank you, God for your truth.

1297
01:31:24.000 --> 01:31:27.520
God, I thank you that you're just revealing amazing things to

1298
01:31:27.520 --> 01:31:30.720
us that we didn't know. Sometimes we have these filters

1299
01:31:30.720 --> 01:31:34.080
or blind spots, Lord, we forget things because our brain actually

1300
01:31:34.080 --> 01:31:37.160
protects us when we go through trauma. God, I thank you that

1301
01:31:37.160 --> 01:31:40.760
you would reveal any area for healing that is needed God that

1302
01:31:40.760 --> 01:31:45.400
you give us truth that you would help us to. Yeah, Lord, just

1303
01:31:45.400 --> 01:31:48.600
connect the dots that need to be connected. We thank you God that

1304
01:31:48.600 --> 01:31:52.400
you would give us grace in this next week. To keep taking the

1305
01:31:52.400 --> 01:31:55.040
next step forward in our heart healing. We thank you that your

1306
01:31:55.040 --> 01:31:58.160
hedge of protection is around us and our families, that you would

1307
01:31:58.160 --> 01:32:02.400
help us to resist distractions and that we would come out of

1308
01:32:02.400 --> 01:32:06.480
hiding and, and Lord just start asking people for help and

1309
01:32:06.480 --> 01:32:09.360
receive your love and help through other people. And we

1310
01:32:09.360 --> 01:32:12.200
just thank you that you give us the grace and the endowment of

1311
01:32:12.200 --> 01:32:15.680
power, the same power that rose Jesus from the dead, that you

1312
01:32:15.680 --> 01:32:20.240
give us that ability to let go that we can tap into the power

1313
01:32:20.240 --> 01:32:24.080
of who you are, Jesus, and all that you died to give us so that

1314
01:32:24.080 --> 01:32:27.240
we can let go of the things that you don't want us to carry any

1315
01:32:27.240 --> 01:32:32.840
further into 2026. In Jesus name. Amen. Amen. God bless you

1316
01:32:32.840 --> 01:32:36.720
all. I'll be seeing you on the group. And yeah, we'll be back

1317
01:32:36.720 --> 01:32:40.200
live again next Monday. Have a great night, everyone. Bye bye.