It is February 16th, 2026, with all the gentlemen here, and tonight we're going to be talking
about being ready for what's to come and handling the stuff, so your house is in order.
That's kind of what Jackie talked on Supernatural Saturday.
But I was just sharing how the heart work, I did it twice, just the first time I went
through it and it was really good.
But the second time I went through and I went at a deeper level, I kind of tilled a
little deeper in it because I kind of skimmed over it the first time, and it changed my
life because I had been in a relationship that I didn't realize was hanging me out.
Even though it had been a while before, so this program actually set me free from a bondage
to somebody who I couldn't get out of my head.
For what it's worth, do the heart work and do it, and if you do it diligently, you will
be free.
Right?
Jackie has compiled it really well.
I've done a lot of different modalities and I really like how she brings it all together.
So hey, gentlemen, how's it going?
I mean, I know Kevin's a little under the weather.
Any wins?
Anything you want to share?
Anything coming up that you're excited about?
Well, I finished my week two.
You finished your week two?
Yes.
It's been a while.
So what is week two about?
It's telling you about heart works and, you know, bringing to the surface your pain, your,
you know, past traumas and stuff like that, revealing your healing cycle and the life
we believe.
That's the one where the lies become your identity, right?
Is that the section?
Right.
Yeah.
And that is so true.
You know, I love that whatever is revealed usually is healed.
But like, there's so many things, you know, like your past won't determine your future
if you do something about it, but it will if you don't.
Because you've got things that are running in the background that a lot of people aren't
even aware of.
And it's good to go.
That's where the heart work kind of brings those up, right?
I'm having a problem trying to decide whether it's stuff that I've already dealt with, if
I've actually dealt with it, or if I haven't dealt with it, because a lot of the stuff
that are brought back to mind is, you know, stuff that I mean, like my divorce, I've been
divorced for 20 years now, you know, but some of it I didn't deal with, you know, until
three or four years ago.
Yeah.
You know, but, you know, I don't feel any animosity and stuff, but there's still probably
the thing about abandonment or getting left, you know, you know, not playing the blame
game.
I used to blame her a lot.
Now I blame myself a lot.
And a pendulum swinging that way isn't super good either, right?
You know, after really examining, you know, a lot of the stuff, you know, I'm soft spoken
and stuff.
She'd say we're fighting and I'd be like, about what she told me, I'd say, I didn't
say nothing.
Well, you know, I know what you're thinking.
Yeah.
But I said, you know, I...
But is that really true?
Like, okay, so all right, you guys, like when somebody says something like that, I know
what you're thinking.
I mean, okay, let's...
Do you really think...
She was right.
I mean, she was right about what I was thinking, but I wasn't going to fight about it.
Even then, like having somebody, you know, context, like whatever I had, because I have
people...
My ex did that all the time, right?
Or expect me to read her mind.
That was the best one is like, you should know, you know, how could I know if you're
not going to say anything?
So I guess I just, mindsets, right?
My expectation was I was supposed to...
Her expectation, I was supposed to read her mind.
There's no way that I could possibly read her mind.
No man can really read a woman's mind, because they change so often from...
I mean, guys do it too, but women, you know, this week, it might be this way, but next
week, it's somewhere different, because they already moved on.
And okay, and that's true, but what I'm trying...
What I'm getting at is you need to challenge it, so they actually say what's on their mind,
and they speak it, and because...
When it's ambiguous like that, then they can determine whether they said it or not.
And the reality is most people don't want to say what's on their mind, right?
And you can't really have a healthy relationship if somebody's not going to voice their needs
and everything else, and you're not voicing your needs or where you're at.
And a lot of times, so that's why I say, when somebody says, you know, you made me X, Y,
Z, it doesn't matter.
Is that really true?
Like Andy, can I make you do anything?
I mean, well, if I was going to make you do something, it definitely wouldn't be angry
at me.
It definitely wouldn't be mad at me.
It'd be like, I'd make you love me.
I'd make you want to be with me.
You're like, dude, Mike's the greatest ever.
It wouldn't be, sorry, I just pulled you, but you get the point, right?
It's like, nobody's like, you made me, you made me angry.
You chose to be angry, right?
And does that make sense?
Hey, Christopher, I see your hand up.
What's going on?
I was just going to say, there's this mentality of the whole, you know, if he wanted to, he
would and the assuming that, oh, he's making these, it's these thought trains that aren't
really ever explored.
It never asked like, hey, I'm thinking this, is this reality or it's just in my own head.
So I think that communication, we can't do the whole, she, she must be thinking this
or he must be thinking this.
It's both sides are guilty of it, I think.
That's right.
So like Jackie was talking about having the hard conversations this week or whatever,
but some of these things, it's like challenging things that are unproductive, right?
Like, you know, if you knew, I just cringed when you said that, Christopher, like everything
in me is like, oh my gosh, it's, you know, I understand.
It's a thing.
But, you know, as men, we need to kind of be like, hey, so that's like, like a tool.
You made me angry.
It'd be like, you know, if I could make, so that's why I shared it with, why I shared
that and like, no, if I could make you something to adore me, it wouldn't be to hate me.
Right?
Like, so like, if I could make, if I'm making you do something, it's not making you mad
at me.
It's not.
And so, and bringing back to choice.
Like I actually had a situation or one of these kind of situations like two weeks ago.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
So the thing is that in the Philippines, there's a tradition that if you have, if you're like
boyfriend, girlfriend, you don't just celebrate like anniversary milestones, but you celebrate
monthly milestones.
So like, so like she wanted to celebrate like one month of us officially being boyfriend,
girlfriend.
And she had told me about that when I was with her in the Philippines, but I forgot
about it when I was, when I was here, you know, and I also, you know, part of it is
I actually do have ADHD, so I don't remember things like maybe even more forgetful than
the average guy.
And, and she, she expected me to, to know like what was going on on February 6th.
And I was like, it's just February 6th.
It's not Valentine's Day.
Like how could you expect me to remember this?
Like she, and she was just, she was kind of just, you know, disappointed that I didn't
remember it.
And it took a while before she finally told me what it was.
And I was like, oh, I remember now, but like, I'm sorry.
Like there's no way I could have remembered that.
It's just the way my mind works and, you know, she lightened up after a while, but it's just
that kind of thing.
It's like, you know, the, you know, she wants me to remember stuff like that.
And that's part of growing.
I mean, you guys like, that's part of growing.
So if you find somebody who you're like in a serious relationship, right?
Your job is to get a PhD, like headed towards marriage.
Your job is to get a PhD in them and their job is to get a PhD in you.
You guys both get a doctorate, right?
And like, Andy, like, you know, not only are you dealing with standard, like men, like
male, female differences, you're dealing with cultural differences too.
And you know, and I say this to a lot of people, a lot of people are like, well, like Andy,
like Andy is going to remember one day, like, and he's going to get it.
And I hope you do.
But like, but if you don't, then you have to accept that, that Andy, this is just part
of who Andy is, right?
And he's doing his best.
And he just.
missed our one month anniversary. But you know, can you live with that or can you not live with
that in a relationship? And if it was on the flip side where, you know, they didn't celebrate
Valentine's Day and she didn't say anything, right? Our job's to lead. So this is a terrible
example, right? Like, but people are like, well, you never want to get in a relationship or get
serious in a relationship on potential. I guess that's what I'm saying, right? Little idiosyncrasies
like, hey, we have a different culture and you don't know what it is. If you can work through
that, that's great. But like, can you accept it? Can you not? Is that a deal breaker for you? And
if so, then make the adjustments. If not, it's just part of growing and knowing each other. Does
that make sense, Andy? Yeah. And I think that I'm really glad I'm with Jal right now because
she actually can move past it where it's in the past, my past girlfriends, they just could not
accept it. And they left me and I'm like, am I ever going to get married? It's like, I felt like
in America, the women are way too picky, but it's like the other culture, it's like the
Filipinos are known for being like super loyal. And I can definitely see that with Jal because
it's like, she really was hurt by that, but she moved past it because she's devoted to me. She
still loves me. She's going to give you grace. And then you're also going to set a monthly
reminder in your phone for the sixth of every month. Yeah, well, there's no way I'm going to
forget it now because of the turmoil. The turmoil is what helps me remember it. Oh, that's no,
just set a reminder and then forget. But I think that's a good point. But I think you
illustrate a good point, Andy. And I guess that's what I'm trying to say is like, you know, and
okay, like in the Bible that said they were naked and unashamed, right? Basically that you're like,
Andy, you're being yourself, right? With room to grow and she accepts you for who you are.
Whereas others are like, you know, I can't move past this or I can't accept this.
And obviously we want to be better, right? Like, I mean, like, but you guys are here. So that tells
me that you, I mean, I don't have to tell you guys that you need to be better because you're here,
because that's the whole point. You're here, right? So, but like relationships are about
learning the other person. There's a gal that I've been seeing that drives me. I'm pretty good with
stuff like an adjusting, but she's very different. And so I find myself,
I don't know if annoyed is the right word, but it's like, man, why can't it just be like
everything else? But you know, like you just have to, each is case specific, I guess what I'm saying.
Each relationship is case specific. You know, there's different hurts, there's different
things, there's different cultures, there's different expectations. And how do we get on
this money trail? But like, you know, like, but is that helpful for you guys? Like, I think you're
all, you're all, you're all pretty brilliant guys. So I'm pretty sure you know that.
Um, but it's this idea. The hard part for me is I try to keep myself at a standard
of I'm going to do everything right. I just have to make sure I do everything perfectly
and then it'll be fine. But that's, there's no way if we're looking for a lifelong mate,
we're going to be able to keep that up for 50 years. That's just not going to happen.
So, and even that, like, like you're talking to a perfectionist too, right? Like, you know,
like, is that even possible? Right? Like, no, I mean, like, because I mean, and I have to say,
like, just just being fully core, I thought it was possible. Yeah. Right. But then somebody's
like, Mike, do you really think that's reasonable? I'm like, it's feasible. It's not sustainable.
And I think for me, um, well, I can tell you why I was a perfectionist is because I had a stepdad
who was a narcissist and like he perfection is, you know, he gave the illustration of that. Um,
if I was perfect, that could be loved. But the reality is, is you guys, you guys are all
perfectly loved as you are. Right. And you don't need to do, you don't, you don't need, you don't
need any ladies to, cause you're loved perfectly by the father and Jesus and all that. And coming
to grips with that and that being your center, then somebody else, when you're not perfect, you
know, it doesn't, I mean, you stop striving. I don't know. I don't know how you, but I got
exhausted striving and, um, on the treadmill of performance. Like if you're in a relationship and
you can't be yourself and Andy, that's one of the things I loved about yours. Like you're just
being you. Right. And she's being her. And then there's, there's no upkeep. Like if you're
come into a relationship with this, like,
I'm this person that's got it all together
and you don't have it all together.
Well, now you have to upkeep that versus,
hey, I'm a dude who's got his issues,
but I'm also pretty amazing.
And the true you.
A lot of times, and I encourage you all,
like, the most attractive you is the real you.
Good, bad, indifferent, good, bad, and ugly, right?
And if you're projecting a different you
because you think that's what they're gonna want,
then when they fall in love with that projection,
you never get the love because it's not the real you.
Does that make sense?
Is that helpful for you guys?
And really, like, in Genesis, it's like,
they are naked and unashamed, really.
Hey, everything, everything about them was known
and they loved each other.
Yeah.
I think there's gotta be a separation of it's,
I have trouble separating, like, what is just me?
It's me, my personality, what I actually think
is kind of fun about me or attractive about me.
And then some of the things that the heart work,
I think, really helps with is we've gotta chip this away.
This is something you've got to heal in yourself
so that you aren't, for instance, a rage monster.
That's what I used to struggle with years and years ago.
So, yeah, it's trying to chip off that things,
the things like, hey, this is me,
and can you give me grace and accept that,
the warts and all?
Or is this, hey, you're pointing out some things
that maybe I need to actually resolve in myself
so that you're not having to deal with something
that you don't have the responsibility to deal with.
No, and I think that, yeah, it's like, hey,
but even in that, like, it's,
you see me for me and we're together.
You're showing, you know,
because relationships are mirrors.
You guys all know that, right?
Like, every relationship you're in
is a mirror into who you are or whatever
because the things that you do show,
like kids, like when you have kids,
you know, it's amazing.
You start hearing things coming out of their mouth
and you realize, oh, that doesn't sound,
that doesn't sound good at all coming out of that,
their mouth, and I know where they got it, right?
You know, and so,
so, yeah, I guess the whole thing
Jackie was talking about on Saturday
was getting the houses in order
so that way when you come into,
when you meet your spirit mate,
you can hit the ground running, right?
And it's funny because some of the stuff
she was talking about, I'm already doing.
And so, but does anybody have anything
that's pressing that they want to chat about
or any wins they want to share?
Because we can definitely use some wins.
Well, so what I was getting at first
was I'm having problems trying to decide
whether the, you know,
because I finished the second course,
whether I need to go back over it or not
or if I should just pushing forward
and see, because it's not that I don't feel
some things changing and stuff
and maybe a little bit of release,
but, you know, because to me,
a lot of the stuff that I,
the stuff that I, that come up during that course
is stuff that I already dealt with
and that, you know, that, you know,
me and God's fine with, but, you know,
how do you find-
So if that's true, okay.
So I had a, I don't know if you've heard of EMDR,
but like, if you can go to a memory
and it's like reading yesterday's paper,
like you're like, yeah, that kind of,
that sucked, right?
But it's not like you're in it
or you're affected by it.
I mean, there might be a little sadness,
but if you can look at a memory
and you can be in it and it's inert per se,
it's not still jabbing you,
then you've healed.
And, you know, there's different layers.
Like, you know, I mean,
I've dealt with some things like father issues.
I mean, it seems like there's a different layer
that comes up every once in a while.
So that's why it's good to go back through it
and just see if there's anything still alive in that.
So Kevin, like if you feel like you and the Lord
and you're at peace with it,
if there's a peace about it
and it's just like looking at an old newspaper,
an old magazine,
and you don't really have any emotional attachment
to it anymore,
then move to the next thing.
Is that helpful?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I just went back to a part two for me.
Cause I remember having some similar thoughts
of some of this stuff.
Like, so I have this stuff touched.
I think that's actually something that good wisdom has.
It will touch back to things
that other wise people have said in your life
and healing that you've gone through.
And I did have some that,
like, haven't I dealt with this?
But I'm looking at some of this stuff
and yeah, I had touched on it and I dealt with it.
It doesn't seem like there's some.
some more digging to be done.
And maybe some of the stuff I'll have to touch back on
over and over again as I grow up and become more wise.
So, you know, I would encourage you to dig back into it.
And I think there is even a part that's like,
hey, maybe go back and redo it
if you're not feeling that it's done.
Yeah.
Right, right.
It says that at the end of part two.
But like I was saying, you know,
and I've been thinking about it
because I think she brought it up
in the middle of part two too.
But where I'm at now is I think I'm gonna go in
and do part three.
And if stuff keeps on coming up,
things that come up further in part three,
if it keeps on coming up, you know, frequently,
then that's probably something,
that's probably God telling me
that I really didn't deal with it and I need to,
if it keeps, if those keep on, you know,
knocking on my door is what my thoughts on it was.
Yeah.
Yeah, sorry.
My internet, for some reason, was having some issues.
Yeah.
I mean, it never hurts to go back through stuff
and see if it's still alive.
You know, I mean, and so,
but one of the things Jackie was also talking about,
and I've actually been struggling with this late,
not struggling, I cut out social media
because it was just wearing me down, right?
Like all the, like I have two friends
warring over certain things and there's all this.
And I was like, you know, it's just not,
like adrenal fatigue is a literal thing, right?
You know, and like Jackie was like,
hey, if you're in relationships
and you don't have a connection, like any
attraction, it could be just that you're in a,
your system's worn down.
So like, you know, like Andy, I know, you know,
I know you've been working on cleaning up your,
getting your house in order and like,
and now you have a lady, you know, on the way, right?
You know, like, and so like get, you know,
Jackie's talking about getting the house in order
and getting it ready.
Actually my phone closed.
So one of the, some of the things
like she wanted to do is like write down
three things you've been avoiding
and schedule them this week.
Clear the clutter, clear the clutter,
delete all contacts, unsubscribe from emails,
create boundaries, no more unpaid overtime,
no more being everyone's babysitter.
Dopamine reset, get off of the doom scrolling,
your brain is fried.
Like, I don't know, is that how you guys,
are you guys pretty good with your house or like,
what are things that wear you down?
It's not always the big things,
it's could be the thousand little,
the death of a thousand cuts.
Do you guys feel like you're in a pretty good place
or do you feel like you need to do some house cleaning
and get ready for what's to come?
Well, one thing I'd like to say is that,
so since I'm Catholic,
I'll be entering a period of Lent in a couple of days.
Ash Wednesday is on Wednesday.
And so it's a perfect time to, you know,
get my act together in some ways.
Sometimes, you know, just taking a break
from all the noise is a good thing.
So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna,
I'm gonna give up listening to like audio books
and political news and start just listening
to instrumental music, just kind of like set atmosphere.
And it'll be more of a spiritual atmosphere.
And I hope I can be more introspective.
And of course, one of the things I'm working on,
I brought up before was that I struggle
with the masturbation and I'm trying to overcome that.
It might be beneficial to be like more in a quiet
where I'm not hearing like chatter and stuff.
And I don't know if that contributes to it directly,
but it could be a potential source.
And all the media that we're intaking,
whether we know it or realize it or not
is creating tensions and other things too, right?
You know what I mean?
Yeah, we live in a world of noise, right?
You know, even when we think it's quiet, it's still really,
I mean, dude, like my email is always blowing up,
you know, like my social media was always blowing up.
And I have to say, I've been off of social media
for two and a half weeks now, and I don't.
Dude, I feel so much better, like, I didn't realize how much of that little, like the
little, it says that the little foxes spoil the vineyard, right?
And I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but just the constant reels and this and that
really were wearing me down.
So it sounds like Lent for you, Andy, is the, is a perfect time.
The real thing is, is, is scary.
I think that's why fasting, fasting, I'm sorry.
No, I was just, I was reflecting what you said.
I, yesterday I got home from a great weekend with my aunt and my uncle, which is actually
one of my wins.
I was actually talking with my aunt as we hiked in the Redwoods together.
That's what I do with Valentine's Day is I took my aunt to the Redwoods.
We were talking about actually some of the hard work and it was a really great conversation.
But getting back from that and to my own house, I had some dead time between getting home
and going to Bible study.
And you know, I go upstairs, take a shower, get, I'm in the bed.
I'm just scrolling.
And I realized, I'm like, well, how, why am I scrolling right now?
I walked downstairs, found myself on the couch scrolling and I'm like, what, what am I doing?
I've killed like an hour here just between, because I had dead time.
It was, it was scary how disconnected I was just because I was tired and off of my schedule.
And it just gets you in this hole and it's like a gravitational pull almost.
I apologize to all my internet's really not super awesome today.
Yeah.
So just at the end of the day, I think cutting that stuff off, anything where your brain
goes on to that autopilot or you're not being intentional and it just causes things to disappear.
I don't know what it's doing to me exactly.
I have read a few studies, but I don't like it and it's going to have to stop.
Imagine all the things we could get done with that.
That hour I had, I think about what I could have done with it to get the house in order.
Like Jackie says, and you know, I can't, can't, can't soak in shame at the end of the day,
but I got to be aware of it at least that, that I wasted that potential.
Yeah.
Sorry guys, I'm turning my video off cause it's having issues, but no, that's so good.
Like, what can you do with that hour?
You know what I mean?
You can learn an instrument, you can work out, you can clean things, right?
You can do a lot of different things with that.
I could have put away my luggage instead of leaving it in the front room.
Yeah, I agree.
I think the thing that's hard with our cell phones is like what we use to get things done.
Like what we're doing right now, I'm on my cell phone.
So then you're being productive with it and then, and then like you're just conditioned
to be on it, whether it's productive or not productive.
So it just, it does take a lot of, it's good to realize that like you were saying, Chris,
it's like, what am I doing with the last hour?
You know, like that's like the first step is like realizing like there's, there's an
issue there, but it is, it's just a difficult problem in this world stuff.
You know, and Andy, the other thing you brought up is the audio book slash podcast thing.
I sometimes think I just need that noise just to, it's almost like audio alcohol just to
keep the brain from thinking about anything else.
And if I'm not doing it intentionally, if I'm not actually doing something productive
in my ears, then it's just keeping me from thinking about the serious things or maybe
some of the healing that I'm doing or the trauma that's bringing back up and just, just,
just numb it, just put it all on static instead of dealing with it is not a great way to go
through life.
Yeah.
And the only thing is that I actually have tried, you know, doing going to total silence
and that didn't work for me either because I ended up like, like actually literally not
doing anything around the house.
And cause it, my mind was like just distracting me.
So I, I think.
Um, what I want to do is just do the instrumental music.
It's just like background music.
It's enough to stimulate my brain, but it's not going to be like noise, like
chattering and, you know,
that's my point.
You're being intentional with it.
And for me, I, I mean, even today before this meeting, I had like 20 minutes to
kill and I'm just playing some random YouTube video I've heard three times.
I'm like, what am I doing?
I could, this is just me trying to numb thinking about this meeting and some of
the stuff that might come up cause I'm on the forgiveness chapter.
So that's some fun stuff.
That's it.
That's an important, but rough one can be a rough one.
But the cool thing is, is when you get to the other side, you're free and that's
amazing.
Right.
Um, so I hope that I reset some, I hope this works better.
Are you guys hearing me?
All right.
Um, but like, that's, but you, I think you hit it, Chris, like Christopher,
basically we numb each other, numb ourselves out.
Right.
Um, and so like if we're numbing yourself out, it's just, you know, we're not
growing in other ways or doing the things you could, right?
Oh, Jesus.
Help.
I'll make, I'll make one exception and that's when I'm working out cause I do
need to be numb.
So I get through the other end.
No, that's, that's no, that's, that's, but that's a different thing.
That's, that's a pushing through pain and, but you're doing something with it.
Right.
Um, well, and for, for me, um, I would numb so I didn't have to deal with life.
And if you're doing that, then you're going backwards.
Like, you know, like, because you just never, you're never, you're never static.
You're either moving forward or you're moving backwards.
And so, um, I'm, I'm proud of you guys.
I mean like Andy and Chris, like this, like recognizing it's nine tenths of the
nine tenths of, of growing, you know, um, gaming, I don't know about you gamers,
but I was gaming a lot of hours and, um, I gave up gaming and realized I'm running
from a lot of things, right?
So what, what other things you guys, you know, are helpful for cleaning house?
Anybody like that, that help you get clarity and bandwidth and, um, get out of
the rat race?
Well, I think, um, I think, um, I think, um, I think it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's hard to get out of the rat race.
Well, I generally live alone, so I, and I live in a small town, so it's not hard
for me to get out of the rat race.
Um, I've got to make myself go do stuff.
Like go see my kids and my grandkids and stuff.
Uh, this winter, however, I'm staying with one of my daughters instead of in my
travel trailer for the winter.
Just easier not to have to deal with, uh, untying everything when I got back from
Hawaii and it cost me about the same thing to rent a room from her as it does for me
to stay in my own place.
Maybe a little bit more.
Cause I chip in more for groceries than I do when I buy it for myself.
But, um, then I'm around my grand, some of my grandkids all the time, but it's,
it's a lot noisier and it's a hard, hard for me to get away from the noise in a
house because it's, cause it's a small town and there's not a lot of stuff to go
do, you know?
So, but I, I do love that you're, um, doing the things that matter, like spending
time with family, right.
You know, um, like that hour, the hour we spend scrolling, we could be chatting with
a family member, checking in with a friend or developing a new friendship or a lot of
different things that actually have massive value.
Right.
Um, right, right.
I just, and sometimes I know I forget that because I've had, you know, I got, uh, my
kids were all still like 12 and stuff when I got divorced.
Um, so that part of me spending time with my kids has been important to me.
And that's, what's got me through.
That's what got me through the divorce for 20 years, you know, um, and, and being
single, uh, now all my kids are over 21.
And, and, you know, I'm still single.
So now, now it affects me a little bit different.
You know, I still want to be around my kids all the time.
I mean, when I go to Hawaii, I'm around my kids.
Cause I got two of them that live there.
And that's the only reason I go there is because they're there, even though, even
though.
I spend most of my time when I'm there in the ocean boogie boarding.
Well, coming from Alaska, I think Hawaii would be a great thing.
I do a lot of boogie boarding too.
Oh, I laugh when I see people in coats over there because I'm running around in shorts and a t-shirt and it's winter over there.
And the water is just great.
I mean, it's like a warm bath most of the time, you know.
Even when it's raining and I'm out there boogie boarding and the beaches, everybody just flees off the beaches and I'm out there by myself going, huh?
You know?
Well, I'm a Californian so I can't really, I'm kind of like one of those people.
So like, you guys, what in your life, I mean, just gut, right now as I'm asking this question, what's the first thing that comes to mind?
Something that you've been avoiding.
Like, what in your life, what are you avoiding right now?
And if you have nothing, great.
But when we avoid things, they're always running in our background.
And it's way better just to slay that dragon than let it eat us alive.
Does that make sense?
Like, because it's always wearing you out.
I mean, the whole point of this whole thing is, let's stop the things that are wearing us out because our spirit mates are coming and we want to be ready.
And if they were to come tomorrow, are you ready to go forward?
Right?
You know, I don't know, Jackie.
So one of the things, I want to have a fun marriage.
You guys can choose to do whatever you like, but I want to be active.
I want to be able to dance.
I want to be able to do that stuff.
So I've been getting in shape so I can.
I had some major injuries that I've been rehabbing.
So I can go dancing, do whatever.
Like, if you want to do that, and that's a vision, head for that vision.
And then when she comes, you'll be ready and able to do it versus having to get ready, you know, post.
So like, I mean, like looking forward, you know, getting your house in order, getting your physical house in order, getting your mental house, financial house.
Like, hey, maybe, like relationships are expensive.
I don't, I don't, you know, like, you know, like, they, like, are, are you, can you set aside finances now?
I tell everybody they should have a ring fund.
If you want to get married, you should have a ring fund.
Even if you're putting away, squirreling away, whatever you can.
So that way, when you find the one that you want to put the ring on, you have the money to buy it.
And you don't go into debt to do it.
I mean, simple, simple things that add up, right?
You know, Jackie was talking about, she had a gal's group called ready for being ready for naked or something like that.
I don't, I don't remember what it was saying, but like they were getting their bodies ready for the wedding night and being ready for that.
Like, what are you, how are you taking care of your physical things?
Are you grooming? Are you doing that?
Do you need to grow? What area do you need to grow it?
Like, you know, Jackie's like, chest hair is good, back hair is bad, you know, like, okay.
It's like, you know, but like, like, is your house a mess?
Where somebody, what in your, what in your life?
If you brought somebody into your life, what in it would you not want to show them?
Is it your car?
Dude, my car is a freaking train wreck right now.
I will just say, I do not want anybody in my car because I don't even want to be in my car.
So one of my things is like, oh, I need to clean out my car.
So when I have somebody, I'm not ashamed.
Like, hey dude, like really, I'm not a slob, but I just am super busy choosing to be super busy.
Right.
You got something to say, Jess, Jesse?
Oh, I'm just listening.
But no, I'm here at my desk right now and it's just a cluttered mess in my car.
Like you were saying, my truck looks similar and yeah, I just have a hard time.
One thing I have been doing that has been a newer habit is like making my bed every morning,
which sounds super simple.
But even if it's not made perfectly, like, I mean, it's being made almost every morning.
So that's a step.
That's a step in the right direction for me.
But I mean, yeah, I, you know, I used to share my room with my late wife and, you know,
she would keep after things or whatever.
And so now if, you know, my dirty laundry ends up like on the bathroom floor, you know,
and I have thought about how, yeah, like what you're just talking about with just getting ready.
and that sort of thing is
Something I've been thinking about it's coming to my mind recently. It's like, you know, I should probably
Just do a better job like maintaining
You know a neat room
Yeah and car
Most things have such a a an inertia
doing them and
Getting in the habit has its own inertia, but the longer you don't do them
That has its own inertia and I was it's just so funny
Jesse you said that because I was thinking about that exact same thing. It's like if my wife was still alive
she would be absolutely eviscerating me for this right now like
This bathroom floor with all these clothes is ridiculous. Why do I keep stepping over it? But I do. Yeah. Yeah
Well, and it's not condemnation it's just hey, you know what I let the slack out now it's time to bring it back up
Or if I never knew how to do it now, it's time to learn
Right, you know and like you say Jesse like making your bed every morning. It's it's a win
Mm-hmm, right like you start with little wins, you know, yeah. Yeah, I did the dishes last night
You know and all of that for me. It's like Oh Valentine's Day. I knew it was gonna be a rough day for me
there's a lot of stuff that's happened on Valentine's Day, but um, I
Did my best I went out to the gym and I did all the best things to love myself well
Like part of part of you know, I'm me not cleaning my car is not loving myself
well, you know and so part of loving myself well as I need to clean my car, so I'm not ashamed because
You know cleaning doing my laundry doing all this stuff that
Isn't my favorite but it's part of
Loving myself well and and having a place where somebody else would want to come alongside
Because women don't want to be your maid right? Like just I'm just telling you like, you know
I mean, they were there to help me, but they don't want to be a slave, right? And so
There's a there's an order when you have things in order you make your bed the clothes are where they need to go
There's not stuff on the floor
When you come to a house that's orderly
that has a good effect on your own psyche and then when you add a
Another person to it your spirit mate for instance, and they come to a house that's in order
That makes that's the way we can very easily make them feel safe that an orderly house is a safe home
for them to nest
well, and you're gonna feel better because you're not living in a
Junk heap
Right and like in the junk heap that's gonna affect you in a bad way where you're not fully yourself
You're not your best self because you're being drugged down because you're not living in the best place. I don't know. It's funny
Like you said order like I don't know
There's such a piece when everything everything's in this but everything has a place and everything's in its place
I have such a piece and so much more energy because I'm not being drugged down by everything, right?
So like
What's a step like what's a baby step? Maybe it's weight making your bed, right? Maybe it's I
don't know doing your dishes, you know or get putting things in the hamper and then doing your didn't do it your
Wash
but
You know, one of the things I actually had this week was a
Conversation with a good friend a hard conversation with a good friend
there had been some stuff building between us for a long time and that was to the point where I
Was ready to exit
And I didn't realize in hindsight, right? I didn't realize how much it was wearing on me, you know
But then once we actually had the conversation and both repented of some stuff and apologized
Now it's great and I have all that bandwidth back, but I didn't realize
It had been sucking me down or like pulling me down because this is a good friend that I love a lot
and I think a lot of times we don't have those hard conversations or bring up the things because
I don't I'm not a bit huge fan of conflict
I don't know many people are but avoiding the conflict is actually making it worse
And that's one of the things we said I apologize for it's like hey, I should have brought this up a long time ago
And that's on me
Right, and now it's great and I have that amendment but like what about you guys?
Is there any relationships or you've been afraid to have that conversation, but it's always on your mind
That is taking your that is taking up your mental real estate
And you need to have that combo good, you know
I
Mean and if that's one if that's one of your guys's action, I would love
For all of you guys to have one thing one thing that you walk away to that you're gonna do this week
Like I said, if it's making your bed if it's like hey
I need to have a conversation with my friend because we've been distant and it's or they're doing things that are driving me crazy and
We need to have we need to have a talk or
I need to draw boundaries with my an aging parent because I need to have a life too and
Find a way a sustainable way to do things
You know, I need to get my finances in order and stop putting things on credit cards or I need to go
to the store and get things to make
My bean I need to get
tortillas and bean in refried beans to make bean burritos
Because I'm eating out nine times a week and it's killing me financially, right or I need to get you know, or whatever like
like is it fun, you know, so
Let's just take I mean if you guys would just take a second and what is the area in your life?
That needs the most order. Yeah, I mean, you don't have to share but I like take an assessment
It's like is it finances? Is it relationships? Is it your your house?
And just look at that and what's something that you can do a
Baby step you can do to improve it
You
Do you want us to talk about that if you want to I mean because I mean hey, I'm up for good ideas
You know, I
Think one thing I need to do is kind of define like what season I'm in right now
I've kind of
Kind of feel like I'm in a season where I'm not like I shouldn't be or don't really want to be actively pursuing
like a
committed like a
exclusive like dating relationship
But at the same time I have I haven't like I've been on and off of this one dating dating app and
Like I get messages and sometimes I'm I'm the one on there like looking, you know for people or whatever and
Sending messages and you know, I've made a couple connections recently and
like I went out on a date like three weeks ago and
You know, I we both had talked about prior to that date that we weren't like really looking for like a
We weren't really looking to date date, you know, but we were
we had connected like six months previously and
Reconnected prior to Christmas and anyhow, I think I just I need to
figure out like what I'm what I'm doing right now in this season because I feel like I'm being a little bit of
Wishy-washy, and that's created some stress
Just how I relate to this girl
Like I don't want
Yeah, just that's like I had some anxiety of this over the weekend about this connection
because like I was on I felt uneasy about like how I was handling it and
Like how like where it was headed
So
Maybe I need to have a I don't know. Yeah. No, that's to figure out what I'm kind of what I'm doing
Like what's the what's my plan? What is like, you know, like what is what is my intent?
What do I want to do and I see you realize you're in this place where you're vacillating
You know and like and it's it's affecting you
You know like what, you know pick a direction and one way to go and determine it and then you can have the peace because you
Know where you're going
but yeah, yeah, and I I wonder if it's not like
Like this girl for example, she's great in so many ways
she's not like there's some things that you know, like she's a little taller than I would prefer, you know, and
Maybe like maybe not as mature spiritually as I'm looking for but she definitely has like a pure heart for the Lord
But then there's some things I really love about like I really appreciate about her that like would be like above and beyond what I was
looking for
all I have to say is like
I'm asking myself is am I where I'm at just because I haven't found the right person
You know if she was everything I was looking for I probably wouldn't be on the fence or I probably wouldn't be
Kicking back and not moving forward, you know, so maybe that's maybe that's why I don't know or the question
is, are you ready?
Because what you just shared with me, right?
I was like, that sounds like a great girl.
Like, yeah, okay, there's things,
there's never gonna be somebody that matches up 100%,
but like, you know, like, you know,
and, but like, are you ready?
Is it, because-
Sure, yeah, I know, that's, yeah, that's a question.
And I think that's, I think that's what you were,
you were iterating, like, what do I want?
And like, you know, and sounds like she's an amazing gal,
and you know that.
But you don't, you're not sure what you wanna do in that,
which makes sense, right?
And so yeah, Lord Jesus, help Jesse to see
and make good choices and figure out
which way he wants to do, help him to discern
through all the emotions and everything,
would you just guide him, amen.
So that's so good, Jesse, like, yeah, thanks for being,
thanks for sharing, that's huge.
Hi there.
Hey, Mr. Hunter, we're talking about,
getting our houses in order,
in order to be ready for whoever the,
whenever we meet our spirit mate, and-
Okay.
Yeah.
I did make progress, and I just learned,
when I went to the Bahamas, I went to travel,
and word got to Jackie, did she tell you
that I found a woman who was interested in me,
but she was a long distance.
So I said, I contact saying, all right, I'm interested,
we try to connect, and she tried,
and we had Zoom meetings, two Zoom meetings,
one 45, one 50, and then she decided not to pursue it.
We had a solid level two relationship,
but I saw some crack, unfortunately,
I saw some cracks that she didn't seem to be romantic,
we never got romantic to be considered level,
on the road to level three at all.
I would, I just think about,
what I need to do is not be,
I got a little distraught because I was thinking,
yay, you get to be family, extended family,
and the good parts about marriage
and people's lives coming together,
you see in-laws, I get to be an in-law,
she was black and it was interracial.
So I figured that was why, that wasn't a heartbreak,
that was kind of trading off.
Hey, Mr. Hunter, how many dates, like, okay.
So, after two dates, you should be like,
do I like this person?
Do I wanna have another date, not,
we're gonna be family and stuff, so that,
like, I have a tendency to do, like, project things too.
So like, two dates, it should be chill,
getting to know each other.
First date should be kind of like little, like,
so it sounds like you're really,
I know you're really growing and that's great,
I'm sorry that that experience wasn't what you wanted,
but I've seen you grow a massive amount,
but go slow, right?
I just, it was never in a commit,
we were never in committed level three relationship,
I went slow.
But you had two dates, is that what I, am I right?
Well, we had video chats, but we never got in romantic.
Are we like video, you had two video chats?
Yes.
That's not time to build, like, even a low-level friendship
versus, like, a romantic relationship.
So just, expectations are huge.
So like, two dates is, you're just starting
to feel each other out, or two video chats, sorry.
I mean, like, I'm using the word date,
but like, two interactions doesn't make.
A level three.
Yeah, no, you shouldn't be, like, yeah,
it wouldn't even be a level two, barely.
So, but I'm glad you're growing,
you're getting opportunities.
I know.
So you guys, we got a couple minutes left.
I hope this was helpful.
Like, just identify something in your life
that's dogging you, and deal with it,
and so that way you're ready.
Be content, grow in the Lord, and try to invest,
if you like a woman, try to invest in loving her
versus seeking to be loved by her, is one.
Yeah, but Hunter, start out with,
let's just be friends and get to know each other.
Because great relationships start off of friendships,
not off of, yeah, you don't start out like,
like a house on fire.
Those relationships don't usually work very well.
So usually the ones that work well
is where you really gel with each other,
and you dig each other, right?
Not, so anyways.
But you guys, thank you all for showing up.
You know, get your house ready,
get your house ready for your spouse, right?
Like, you know, or get, or find out where you're at,
whether you're ready for that.
I mean, I think that's also another thing,
is like, am I ready for somebody to come into my life?
You know, get off the doom scrolling and the things that are killing your time, or you're
running with, and build something productive versus, like that hour, like you said, Christopher,
I could have done a lot with that hour.
Time is a precious resource.
What can you do to build to be the best you, to be ready for the relationship, or to just
improve yourself, right?
It's so easy to get, to just survive and to just kind of roll with the flow, right?
You know, but it's time to like put your foot down and actually do something, and that way,
this time next year, you're gonna be a completely different person in a different place, right?
If you stay the same, nothing will change, right?
I hope that, you know, I hope that, I know this is not the most exciting thing, but like
you do little things like make your bed every morning, it builds, like, and you just keep
building off of that.
Next thing you know, you're gonna be rolling down the hill doing tons of stuff that really
changes your life.
Like exercising and jiu-jitsu.
Yeah, no, I mean, I try to go to the gym, like, up until this week, I've been averaging
like six times a week, but just because I have a vision that I want to have a dynamic
relationship with my spirit mate, and I want to be able to dance, I want to go to do things,
I want to go scuba diving, I want to do all that stuff, and I need to be in shape so I
can, right?
And I also want to be around to, I want a lot of, a great relationship for a long time,
and I don't want health issues.
I mean, obviously, you can't mitigate everything, but man, if you're, if you have a good diet
and you're exercising, you're gonna be healthier more often than not, right?
So love y'all, appreciate y'all, can I pray us out?
And then we'll, so Lord Jesus, would you just help us to see the things in our life that
are hamstringing us, that are hindering us, would you help us see the spots that we need
to handle so we're ready for our spirit mate?
Would you be doing the same in their lives?
Would you give us a vision for what's to come and help us to walk that out, Lord, but most
of all, would we just feel your love, and would you be sustaining us with that love,
and that way, in the waiting, we're not striving for things that are not of you.
I pray you protect each one of these men, their minds, their spirit, their emotions.
Would you encourage them and yeah, just guide them as in every step, be a lamp to their
feet, a lamp to their feet and a light to their path, and Lord, we're just excited for
all that you're gonna do, in Jesus' name, amen.
Amen.
Hey, have a blessed week, y'all.
I'm grateful for you.
Take care.
You too.
Thank you.