Hey, y'all, how are y'all tonight?
Can y'all hear me?
Yeah.
Great.
Oh, great.
I didn't hear.
Did y'all hear the little thing that say recording in progress that you see a pop up?
Okay, I didn't hear it.
It is so good to see all of y'all.
I feel like I'm flying in with great speed.
So I guess I'll attribute that to the Lord.
I'm just going to open this up in prayer.
Father God, we thank you for tonight.
We thank you for kingdom wisdom and understanding.
I thank you, God, that you know our hearts better than we know our own.
So I pray now, Lord God, that for every question that's asked, Holy Spirit, that you would
give us the root of the issue so that we may get things done and get them done well.
In Jesus name, amen.
How have we been this week, ladies?
Been well?
Yeah.
Is there anyone that this is your first time on 8 p.m.?
Paula, is this your first time?
No.
Okay.
All right.
Well, I'm sorry.
Have you ever asked a question before?
No.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, good.
There's nobody.
It's your first time.
Welcome to all.
So I'm going to see if we've got any housekeeping.
You guys just remember that it's not mandatory that you're dating to come.
I'm glad you're doing good, teacher.
It's not mandatory that you date or that you get seven dates.
And I just want y'all to remember that so you won't feel that pressure.
It is good for you to date.
It is good for you to grow, but it's not mandatory.
So there shouldn't be a pressure on you to make something happen.
Right?
I believe there is an aggression about it.
Laura, is this your first time on with us?
It is.
Hello.
Thanks for welcoming me.
I've been doing the program, but this is my first time joining a call.
Yes.
Thank you.
Oh, well, welcome.
We're so happy to have you.
I'm Ebony.
I'm your APM coach, and I live in Austin, Texas.
Hey.
Oh, no.
Is there Rosanna's children in the background?
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
It's okay.
We're children friendly.
So, yeah.
So that's a reminder.
You guys, be sure to watch the video content, all the teachings that Jackie has available
because they're really good, and they really help you grow.
We say do about one per week.
Remember, ladies, you can relax in this phase, too.
You don't have to feel the burden to coach your fellow sisters.
You can encourage them.
You can come in.
You can share your life stories.
But try to take out your counselor hat, your coaching hat, and just let us do the coaching
and counseling.
You do the supporting and the sharing and the uplifting and letting them know that they
have a friend in you, you know, letting them know that you relate to what they are going
through.
And let's see.
Please don't be offended if a post seems to be skipped or feels that it's overlooked.
It's not overlooked.
It's not skipped.
We all know that we've been having some bugs with the app, and so that causes for a lot
of issues, a lot of, you know, and particularly if we say something and you reply, we just
never see it.
And sometimes we have to look into la-la land, to the la-las of land to find it.
And so if you've ever responded to us and we didn't respond, you can make a post and
say, hey, I responded to you on this post.
Can you go check it out?
It is totally acceptable.
It's not rude.
You can do it as soon as you post it if you want, literally.
And so we want you to know that that really helps a lot.
We don't want you to rush through this phase.
Sometimes when you get in phase two, it feels like everything's slowed down.
So if I just make it to phase three, I'll get to phase three where it's co-ed and then
I'll get the pick from the cream of the crop.
And so let me just hurry up and get past phase two so I can get in phase three so I can have
everything laid out for me because I have been waiting on my Amazon package to come
to the door.
And I just know without a shadow of a doubt when I get to phase three, these men have
been in the program just like me and they're going to be perfect and wonderful and they're
going to let no good thing.
And I'm going to go over there and give me one and it's going to be perfect, just like
I imagined from the beginning.
Ah, the answer.
So it's not like that.
It's not going to happen like that.
And so you should enjoy your time of phase two, but the reason I really do encourage enjoying
phase two is because this is a phase and you're going to keep growing. You never stop growing.
Sometimes we get really discouraged and we're like, I thought I was done with the hard work.
You're never done with the hard work. As long as you're a human being that was programmed by other
human beings, that were cultivated by humans, we have a lot of growing to do. We have a lot
of bending to do. We have a lot of compromising to do. And that's just the way it works because
we live in the world with other human beings that came from a different background. And it doesn't
even matter if you came from the same background. Communication is a part of life. It's a give,
it's a take, it's a listen, it's an observer sort of thing. And so I just want to assure you that
you're in really good hands in phase two and growth is very possible and it's possible for you.
Dating is a wonderful way to grow because nothing taps at your heart. Like when somebody gets close
and you think you like them, rejection comes up, the walls come up, past trauma comes up,
all types of things come up. When you have to not be entitled, when you have to show grace,
when you have to show mercy, when you have to go against things that could cause you to hurt
yourself, everything happens. And that's why people don't prefer to date. So enjoy phase two.
We're with you. We're standing with you. We want to grow with you and we want to see you expand.
You guys don't forget that we have one-on-one coaching. You can go and we have a plethora of
coaches that you can choose from. They're all amazing. And so you can always schedule a one-on-
one coaching session if you have to dig through something that's more than we can handle.
All right. So tonight you ladies were supposed to come camera ready. And so I see a beautiful red
shirt. You know, I was a little late to the game, so I pulled some red lipstick and I was like,
oh no, it is that day. And so when I got home, I went on my regular walk, but I forgot that I
was looking probably a little ratchet and I was like, oh no, too close. And so some of you guys
look wonderful. And so it's so good to see you looking so beautiful ladies. And so it's so good
to see y'all just kind of flipping through now, going through everybody. Yikes, this is not my
camera ready. It's a good thing you look good anyway. And so who wants to tell me something
that they tried different with the camera ready this time? Anybody tried a new color,
hairdo? Talk to me about it. You can just unmute and go for it.
I did Velcro rollers this morning because I knew I had a long day, but it's fallen.
Yeah. And I went for a walk too. So yeah, you have beautiful hair.
Thank you. You're welcome. I want me some long hair, but I got to save up for it.
Got to buy it. My hair is long straight now, but it's going to go,
somebody else is going to say straight. All right. Thank you Rosanna for participating.
You look beautiful as always. Okay, go. I'm going to say your name wrong and I don't want to,
but it's K-A-N-Y-I-N. You look gorgeous. Thank you, Ebony. You can call me Connie.
Say it again. Connie. You can call me Connie. That's my nickname. Connie. Connie. Okay.
Makes it easier. But yeah, I actually recently went to Sephora.
So yes, I did try out some new makeup today. Yeah. Yeah. You're glowing.
Thank you. You're welcome. That sweater, is that like a reddish? It looks good on you.
Yeah. It's a red kind of knit thing. Funny enough, I bought it for an ugly Christmas
sweater party. I just went to Target and I picked whatever sweater I could find.
And now it's become a favorite. Wow. I think you have such a beautiful
complexion and the colors like that just pop out of your skin complexion. It's really beautiful.
Thank you. It's the Fenty Foundation.
Y'all know, I don't know anything about foundations and makeup. It's the strangest thing. I like it
on people, but I just don't know how to do it. Even when I do do it, I be like, I'm going to
sweat it out. I'm not going to put it on. Oh, Patty went to the store to ask for help with makeup.
Okay. Tell us about that.
experience?
It was, you know,
you know, it was it was good.
They they helped me with,
you know, eye shadow I already had
because I had bought it from that
store.
And then they sold me
some makeup.
But, you know, I took notes
on everything that they said and
and I'm working on it.
Let's put it that way.
And you're working
out. I think I want to go give me
some makeup done.
I wonder how it's going to look.
You know, some people face be beat
to the core and I don't know
how to do it.
And so it's just like I want to
look like that. I tried to do a
smokey eye one time.
It didn't work out.
So.
But that's good, Patty,
I'm excited for you.
Karen, you look especially pretty
tonight.
It's just did you wake up like
that?
Me?
Yeah, it's like you're glowing.
No, I actually put eye makeup on
this morning. I forgot about
the whole camera ready thing.
But
yep, just took the hair down because
I think it's better than up in
a video.
OK, all right.
OK, well, anybody else want to
share, ladies?
Lauren, did you do something
special?
You're really pretty.
No, it's hard to tell.
All you ladies are so beautiful.
So it's so are you.
Thank you.
It's just hard to tell.
I don't know. Go for it, Laura.
Sorry, I'm getting used to this.
This is, I would say, a relaxed
look for me.
I didn't know that we were
coming camera ready.
So this is I'm in my sweatshirt.
But I will say, because I have done
a lot of online dating,
this is my setup, this
room. And I do have a
light right here.
Even though it's night here,
there's light on my face.
And then I actually even set this
room up that my computer,
there's a window right behind it.
So in the day, it's natural light
that comes on.
So this this is my camera ready.
If I do online dates, please.
Yeah, but this is a casual
look for me right now.
OK, OK.
Well, she said something
that it is a big deal.
Can't the lighting.
It does matter a lot.
Because like if I turn my light off
now, can you tell
how dark it gets?
Anybody? Did you see the difference?
Yeah. And so lighting
can do you can put
on makeup if you don't have really
good lighting, it doesn't reflect
the same. And so especially natural
light just really helps
when you're on the camera,
how you have it.
And that's kind of what we're going
to talk about a little bit tonight.
So we'll have much more time for
coaching as well, because this
doesn't take as much time.
But in the face of
coming out of hiding, a lot of us
are going to set up video dates or
you're going to do a lot of FaceTime
if you do. I mean, you know, that's
not a requirement.
It's very possible if you do
an online date that you're going
to do some video calls,
that you're going to do some FaceTime
calls. Sometimes we want to see
people before we meet them.
That's not a requirement.
I'm just saying a lot of this
happens.
And so your
setup does matter.
And.
Some parts of me like to say, well,
how will you look matters?
I think there's something beautiful
about a woman who naturally is
beautiful. And so even though like
Laura has a sweatshirt on, I
couldn't tell it was a sweatshirt.
She's comfortable, but she looks
very pretty.
Right. And so I think that there are
two ways that you can go with it.
And of course, you can be all dolled
up because it is a video date and
you are meeting someone and someone.
And so I don't think anything is off
limits as long as you're
comfortable and you do look
refreshed.
And excited and you carry
an excitement within you.
And I know that you're going to be
nervous. Right.
And for some reason,
I don't care who you are.
You can see people over the camera
forever. You know, if you ever worked
in those Zoom meetings all the time
when you meet the person, you'd be
like, that's you?
I don't know what it is.
And so like even as much as I
meet with Bethany, right,
it meet with individuals
here within the L.Y.S.
community, when I saw them, it was
like, oh, hey.
And it's just like, oh, wow.
You can't tell if a person's really
short or if they're taller.
Just so many different things.
And so you want
to, you want to do your best.
And I believe that you're going to do
your best because you guys are
absolutely amazing.
And you want a husband and you know
that means see with their eyes.
They're more visual than us.
And so you look good for yourself.
As long as you're looking good for yourself,
you've got to look good for everybody that meets you.
And so that's just kind of how that goes.
So we talked about camera.
And you want to, ideally, you want the camera
to be where the top part, at least where your shoulders are.
Because most of the time, if you get about here,
you can see how a person really looks, right?
Or you can tell their body shape or how much even weight
they're carrying, if the screen is as far as the shoulders.
Even when you do head shots, if you
catch a certain top part of the body to about right up in here,
you can really pretty much see the fullness of a person.
So mostly, right?
And so our camera positioning doesn't matter.
What's in our background doesn't matter.
I look back at one of our replays,
and I was like, I did not know my background was
going to look like that that day.
Or I'll listen back to myself and say, I talk too fast.
Or I didn't know I sound that way.
But most of the background, I was like, oh, wow.
I didn't know.
It just felt very comfortable to me.
And so our background doesn't matter.
And so you want to be mindful of that.
Have you ever seen somebody who makes a social media
video in the bathroom or in the bedroom,
and the bed is junky?
You kind of be like, did you think through that?
Why, people?
Why did we do this?
And it's not trying to judge, but it's
like glaring in your face.
And it's just like, wow.
I think when you get used to the camera,
you forget about everything else that is around you.
And you get used to talking on the camera all the time.
And so, oh, yeah, or on the dating app,
some of the pictures that they take,
you ladies be mindful of that, too.
Some of the things that are happening in your background
or around the table with you, it shows up.
And you can look back at a picture and be like, whoa.
I didn't know that was in the picture.
And just to kind of, like I said,
this talk was going to be kind of short,
just wrapping this up about you guys.
Oh, yeah, that's true, Rosanna.
Online dating is just a tool.
And sometimes we get really tired of it,
and we'll think that I don't want to stop
because I may miss somebody.
I want to keep partnering.
I want to keep going.
I want to keep partnering.
I want to keep going.
But online dating is just a tool.
You don't have to online date forever.
Take a break.
You're not missing a spouse by not being on the dating app.
I am telling you, as much as you would
like to think that, God is just so much bigger.
He is just so much bigger.
You can meet a person.
I know it sounds strange, even to my own mind.
But getting you married is a light thing to the Lord.
And so my mind would say, well, is it light?
When we going to get it done?
Well, he's just timing.
He don't quite think like I do.
But it's a light thing.
And so please, do not stress yourselves out
with online dating.
When you need to take a break, take a break.
I don't care if it's a month, it's two months.
I don't care if you don't piggyback up.
It's just what it is.
It's not the only way.
And when you show up, just show up as yourself.
I've heard people say so many times
that dating can be one of the biggest scams ever,
because people send their representative,
and they don't show up as themselves.
But I want to encourage you to show up as yourself.
There's no better person for them to meet than you.
And so with that being said, if we're
going to show up as ourselves, we
have to make sure that ourselves is
our best version of ourselves, right?
Because there's a version of us all,
and then there's a better version of us all,
and there's the best version of us all.
Because we continue to evolve, and our entire lives,
we're evolving.
If you're not evolving, that means you're stagnant,
and you're not willing to change,
or you don't want to change.
You've become stuck.
And we want to get you unstuck.
And so that's why we listen to Jackie on Saturdays,
to get us unstuck.
That's why we read books and materials,
and we get in communities of people
who are moving in a direction that we want to go,
because that really does get you unstuck from where you are.
When everybody around you is moving in the direction
that you desire to go, it's easier to jump on the bandwagon
and move with the flow.
You know how a herd will stay together,
and they'll all move in one direction together
when one moves?
All of them move.
They usually don't break out and go out by themselves.
Even cows, when they herd them, they all get in one group,
and they just go in one direction.
And that's what it's like when you're in community,
especially around those who carry the heart that you have
and want to go the direction that you also desire to go in.
And so those are just a little thoughts on that.
When we do discovery dating,
I want to remind you that discovery dating.
is not husband deciding or deciding on my husband.
This is a very challenging thing
for us to get through our minds.
One, because we don't want to,
because we've told ourselves certain scenarios
and certain stories.
But dating for discovery in phase two
is not about finding your spouse.
We believe that God does the heavy lifting.
We believe that this phase is designed for you
to grow in your capacity for marriage.
And that's why we are always ever encouraging you
on all of the boundaries and the order
into which to operate so that you can safeguard your heart
as much as you can in this process.
And that the journey can be a safe journey for you, right?
So work with that as much as you can.
And one thing that I would tell myself
over and over and over again, until I get it down,
and it takes a while, I will say, he's not your husband.
It doesn't matter, he's not your husband.
Yep, it doesn't matter, he's not your husband.
Even when the boxes start shaking, he's not your husband.
Why did I do that?
Because there was a law working inside of me
that I couldn't stop it every time I looked at a man.
Or every time I saw a man, my thought would be,
is he the one?
He could be.
Is he the one?
He could be.
And then every time it didn't work out,
the letdown was so much harder.
Because you don't realize how much you have riding on,
is he the one?
That is a heavy load that you don't know you're carrying
and you're building up all of this hope and anticipation
that God is doing it, God is doing it,
and you're on a faith journey.
So when you meet a man and you're on a faith journey,
it is an innate thing to believe that that's the one.
So what you have to do is when you're in this program
and you're being guided and you're growing
and you're expanding, you have to implement some things
to tell you where you are.
You got in a program that started with hard work,
you moved into phase two, and in phase two,
you come to sharpen yourself,
you come to be expanded and to grow.
Hence the seven days challenge,
not seven days to a husband,
a seven day challenge to expand you, to help you grow,
to help you see what you like,
to help you learn how to show forgiveness
and mercy and grace.
Because if everything worked out good for you,
you will be happily married by now, but you're not.
So that means along this journey,
some things has happened to all of us.
We've been broken, we've been hurt, it's called life.
So there are some things naturally gonna show up.
Where would they go?
But with inside of you,
and so it is imperative that we don't carry that around
because that sets us up for deep wounds
that really hurt if you keep planning
that everyone is the one.
And I know that a lot of us have trouble with it
because it took me a really long time
to understand the beauty and the value of this relationship,
I mean, of this program.
And it took some growing and it took some things
to kind of just wheel itself out of me, right?
After I got tired of doing it my way
and I was like, okay, all right.
Oh, Jackie is right.
Oh, okay, this is right.
I see now.
And that's okay too
because you have a safe community to do that in.
You have a safe community to get to the end of yourself.
And as soon as you can get to the end of yourself,
the better off you'll be.
You know, if you ever run for a very long time,
at some point you're going to get tired.
And then when you get tired, the help can come.
So that's not exactly what we're going to be talking
about tonight, but I just wanted to say that to y'all.
It's posted all the time.
We're posting this all the time.
And then there's this also, I want to address,
I saw this post, a level of confusion that happens.
So this is what happened.
When you say, says a yes, tells us a no,
but I don't know.
And then he, I don't know.
Should I accept this?
Should I accept that?
I don't know.
It's a yes, tell us a no.
But then I got to get back out there
because they said, don't give up.
And so it's so much coming at you at one time.
You hear the supernatural,
say it, I'm going to get back out there.
Then you start and this happens.
And then don't give up, keep going.
It's a yes, tell us a no.
But yeah, he really is not my type.
Oh, don't worry about that.
You don't know what God can be doing.
It's a yes, tell us a no.
And so it's like, it's all these messages coming at you.
And if any of you guys experienced that,
that was my experience also.
And so you just kind of like kind of weave your way.
Well, he said he really don't know Jesus,
but I know it's a yes, tell us a no
because you really don't know what God can do.
But I really don't want to talk to somebody
who really don't know Jesus,
but I guess I just got to do it anyway
because this is what I'm supposed to do.
So you just go back in.
It's tussling and I don't want you to carry that
and go through this process by faith.
Because it's a faith journey and a faith journey comes with its own load.
And so I want to simplify it for you. You're in phase two and in phase two,
you come to expand yourself for your kingdom marriage.
And every man that you meet is not your husband, but if you do meet him, he is your husband,
you will know about it. Trust me, you will get the memo that he is the one. And in the meantime,
treat everyone like part of your journey. I want you to remember that you are not in partnership
with the man that you meet. You're in partnership with heaven. And see, sometimes when we meet
somebody and they seem like they're the one, we switch sides and we think we're in partnership
with them. And it's what they said, and what they said, and what they said, and that they said,
and I can't believe they did this, but you're not in partnership with them.
You're in partnership with heaven. And it's what does the father say? What does wisdom say?
What does order say? What does boundary say? That's your safe place. You don't know this
man enough to trust him to be a safe place for you. I don't care how much you feel like you click.
You didn't know a problem more than three or four days. It's just the truth of the matter,
but you've been walking with the father all of this time. And so let's not be thrown off guard.
Don't get thrown off track by that. It's so easy to do and it happens so quickly,
but I am telling you that wisdom is your safe guard. Boundaries keep you safe.
And so, all right. And so do we have any questions about being camera ready,
eye level, where the camera should be placed? If anyone needs a ring light, they have these really
cheap, all of them are less expensive, but this is just a little one that I clip on top of my
computer. And I've had another one and it came with this thing and also, and so a ring light
would be really good. They even have them for your phone. I like to do a lot of FaceTime. And so I
don't have a ring light on my phone though, but they have them for that. Oh, good. Pamela said
she got hers today. So we want to be eye level or slightly above. We want our arm. We want the
camera to be, now this computer camera is not arm length away from me, but arm length away would be
here. Now it does make a difference, right? Because you see more, I am away, but I'm closer
because for some reason in my mind, I believe if I'm closer to the camera, I'm closer to y'all.
It's not true, but it feels that way to me. And then you want to stabilize your phone. You don't
want things shaking like this. You can tell when things are shaky, if you're hitting your leg
against something. So yeah. Any questions, any thoughts? Does anybody want any feedback?
No. Did we have a good time with the activations
this past week? Who enjoyed the activation? Who got some deep healing? Yeah. Rosanna,
does anybody want to share? Just go for it. You could just unmute and share your time.
Oh, I'm sorry. Claudia had her hand up. I'll wait for her to go first.
Okay. Go for it. Hi, good afternoon, everybody.
Good afternoon. Sorry, I'm still driving from work, so I'm sorry. That's why I was like,
do your test. Well, you could say that basically since February 1st, I've actually
kind of went up to phase three. I'm very excited. Yes. I've been sharing on Faith
Fridays because it's just been growing. Wait, Claudia. I thought right now we were sharing
about- Oh, shoot, shoot. I'm so sorry. I'm so embarrassed. I'm so sorry. I don't know. I'm
starting to have a little problem. It goes in and out, and so sometimes I'm so sorry.
No, Claudia, stop it, girl. This is our session. You're okay. But we're sharing about the
activation. Oh, yes. But no, those were wonderful. I think that it was great hearing from last week.
I was listening to it, and I actually had my hand up to share from-
when, when we were activating from last week and I didn't have a, we, I was one of the
ones that, one of the ones that didn't have a chance to, to share.
So, but it's okay.
So do you, do you want to share your, um, you want to share about the activation that
we had for this week?
Something the Holy Spirit revealed to you?
I just, I've just been feeling a lot of, uh, I've been feeling a lot of Holy Spirit lately.
I'm so grateful.
Um, but, um, I don't, I mean, like I said, I, I, but I think that maybe, um, uh, maybe
the other girls probably have more of a, yeah, I can share later on because right now I want
to stay, I want us to stay on topic.
It's, it's, it's fine.
I'll, I'll, I'll have the girls share first.
Okay.
Well, keep, you can just keep your hand up.
It's not a problem.
All right.
So go, Rosanna, was it you go ahead and share what, what was revealed to you?
I had, um, I saw a lot of similar passages with some of the women.
Um, so I was struggling with, um, uh, my appearance and I don't know what my problem is.
It's like, it's actually something very deep rooted in me that I'm still asking the Lord
to help me with.
And, um, so just, I feel like some of it is that I was like, okay, men can tell me I'm
beautiful on a screen, but that doesn't mean anything.
I don't know who you are.
You're behind something.
And I just want to like be told to my face.
And so I was like really struggling, like, father, my, my attractive, like, why don't
people, why don't men come up to me?
Like, why don't they say anything?
And um, I know some of it was, I've been told it's intimidation, but I'm like, I'm smiling,
I'm happy.
And, and I'm like, I don't get it.
So I was sitting with the father and I'm like, Lord, what is going on?
Like what, why is this so deep rooted?
And, um, I wrote down that I had to tell myself the truth was like, well, I'm not pretty
enough or I'm not good enough.
And the truth that I put on was one 39, someone 39, 14, like I'm fearfully and wonderfully
made.
And, um, it's on my screen.
I put it on my, my, my wall of my, uh, my wallpaper so I could look at it.
I think Patty had the same verse and I think another woman put that on too.
And it was really encouraging to see that.
And so I kept on telling myself, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
And I was trying to read it in different versions just so I could see if like, uh,
just, you know, different words can uplift you in a different way.
And I actually told the father, I was like, I would just want a man to tell me I'm beautiful
to my face.
Lord.
Like, I just, I want to believe you because you're, it's so easy for me to see other women
inside and out of how beautiful they really are.
And once you get to know them, how even more exquisite they are as a person.
And so I want, I was like, father, let me look at the way that you view me.
And so anyway, I had ended up having an appointment.
I had a telehealth appointment that day and, um, the nurse practitioner on there is a very
good looking man.
So we were chatting and he was like, so I, um, I have sleep apnea, so I have the whole
mask and everything, which is like cracks me up.
But anyway, he, he's aware of it and I told him, I was like, I'm not sleeping a lot in
this.
Can I, can you tell me why?
And I was just like, yeah, I'm, I'm kind of like doing dating apps.
So this is like my only time because I'm a single mother.
And so like, just so I kind of opened up and I was like, yeah, there's just a lot going
through my head.
Blah, blah, blah.
And he professionally said, he's like, well, you're, you're an attractive woman.
Any man who gets with you is, is going to be very lucky.
And I was like, huh?
Like, it was just almost like that, that, um, it was that morning I had asked the Lord
for a man to tell me it was beautiful to my face.
And he said I was attractive and he was cute.
I was trying to be a little flirtatious, I was like, calm it down, calm it down.
But anyway, um, the Lord keeps on showing me that and I had, I had two dates lined up
back to back, like, and they both had to reschedule with me and I was really bummed and I had
to stop and being like, it's not you, it's not you.
Things come up and all that stuff.
So cause like we take it on, it was like, maybe they don't want to see me cause I've
been stood up before.
I've, I've had all that stuff happen and you take it personally.
But then both of them rescheduled and deliberately said, Hey, what days can we be with you?
Or like all that stuff.
So it made me feel good, but I'm glad I went to the Lord.
I made other plans to go do something else, but he helped me like tweak my thoughts of
like, remember who you are, remember that you're my daughter and I'm going to take care
of you.
And you guys keep on saying we're God defended.
And so I'm trying to remind myself of that as well.
Like what does God defended mean?
Father, show me.
And so I keep on saying that.
So I think that was part of the activation of like, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made
versus the lie of like, I'm not pretty enough.
So it seems kind of shallow, I suppose, but I'm not going to, I'm not going to shrink
on that because this is something I just struggle with, you know, so that's what I appreciated
about the activation.
Yeah.
That was so good.
And under believing we're pretty enough is actually, it's not shallow.
It's something that we struggle with.
Um, and a lot of times it's birthed from father's give identity.
And, um, when father,
Others don't, and not to say your father didn't, Rosanna,
I don't know.
But even when I was about 36, I had to ask my dad,
was I beautiful?
Because the little girl in me still
needed to hear that she needed from my father
that I was beautiful.
And so those are real roles that have to be played in our lives.
And when we don't hear what we need to hear,
very young in age, we struggle with, am I beautiful?
And the thing about it is I'm going to tell you something.
They say beauty is truly within, and it
is because people can tell you that you're
beautiful all day long.
You will look in that mirror and still not see beauty
because you're not looking.
You don't look with the eyes that you think you look with.
And it's an interesting thing about beauty
because everybody can tell you how beautiful you are.
They say, oh, you're so pretty.
You're so pretty.
When you look in the mirror, you're
going to find something.
Sometimes we'll find something to pick apart
about the way we've been designed
and the way we've been made.
And I don't meet many women that haven't done it.
And I look at them, and I'm like, you're perfect.
And they'll be like, well, I need to lose 5 pounds.
And I understand everybody.
It's like there's a certain way in their own body.
I have a friend.
I'm telling you, she's probably a book 25 weight.
And she just kept saying, oh, I just
need to get rid of these 5 pounds.
I said, you say one more thing about that 5 pounds.
Now, you want to trade bodies with me?
She's like, what, Ebony?
And I said, yes or no.
Well, shut up.
Shut it up about these 5 pounds.
You are 120 pounds.
Shut it up.
Just shut it up.
You wear size 1.
Shut it up.
What do you want?
But it's just like everybody has something
that we can find to keep being critical.
And it does happen on the inside thing.
And that's what I love so much about your journey, Rosanna,
what the Lord did for you.
You are not alone in that.
I can attest that that has been my own journey, even
in my health journey and losing weight.
And when I look in the mirror, and though it's
about health for me, and I could say, well, I have a ways to go.
But there is a, I like me now.
But I know that more weight loss helps my joints.
So those are those things.
But I still see the 400-pound woman.
She's not there.
But I will tend to look through those lens.
And it's like, that's not who you are.
So I know so much about who we are shaped from inward thoughts
and what we're listening to every day,
the thoughts we have toward ourselves.
So that's a beautiful journey.
I've been on the same and stay on.
So I know that Sarah, Sarah just posted something in the comment.
Also, Sarah, I asked you to give me a private Spanish lesson,
teach me how to teach Spanish.
Did you see my, I'm sorry, did you see my post to you?
I did.
And I responded, I would love to.
Really?
So can I send you an email?
Yeah.
OK, I'll send you an email about that.
OK, thank you.
All right, who else wanted to share just a quick two-minute?
Just a quick two-minute.
Is that a poop background?
And then roll President Trump's response.
Oh, OK.
All right, I'm back.
Who else wanted to share particular
about the activation for like the next two minutes?
Dee?
Hello.
So good to see you.
Hello.
Good to see you.
All right, so I just had a look at the activation.
You were talking about the one from two days ago.
Yeah.
I am so excited because I had no idea about it,
but I've been doing it anyway.
So I actually wanted to share what's
been happening in my life.
And literally, the suggestions of what I've been doing anyway.
I haven't been active in LOIS for a little while.
So one of the things that's happened is I
did an inner healing session.
And something broke off that I didn't know was there.
It was something from my childhood.
And it was a big integral part of just so much
that's been going on in my life.
So it's massive.
And so I broke it off.
I felt free.
It was like hallelujah, amazing, stomping on the enemy's head.
I'm doing my dancing, and I'm just praising the Lord.
And then within that hour, I did some stretches,
wanted to go for a run.
And I tweaked something.
So I've been in pain ever since.
I've had this back thing.
But the thing is, I know it's connected.
I felt like it was maybe like residual energy that
wasn't quite shifting.
did from that, because it's been a lifelong load that I've been carrying that I broke off,
does that make sense? So I felt like it's an emotional thing. Anyway, in my introspection,
I've been going through all of these things, like, you know, I'm very conscious of these
things anyway. So I'm reading this and I'm blown away just looking at what you've written, because
it's all of that. I've made the decisions to, you know, declutter certain things, you know,
I moved last year and I'm working through things and boundary, everything, everything is I look at
all the areas of my life. And so I'm just blown away. And I can tell you that in the past,
we even I've been in pain, I haven't, I didn't get to church, because I don't even think I can
drive, you know, so it's not even like I can take a walk to ease, you know, to help relieve things.
So I've got a lot of people praying for me at the moment. But the point is, I just want to say that
I am so I'm feeling so good, because I'm free of that, that yoke. But also, to report in a sense,
is a testimony that this is working, it works anyway, and it's working. So I've got a mastermind
happening tomorrow, masterclass, a live masterclass. And it's something that I think you're aware of.
But it's something that the enemy for me has literally been trying to hold me back from doing
for five years. And I take responsibility as well, you know, my own mental blocks, whatever
thing that life's been like thing for me. And I'm just reporting that it's happening tomorrow.
It's massive, because it's going to set so many people free, you know, just with the legalities
and all of that. And because I'm targeting faith based, you know, entrepreneurs and all that. But
the point is, I just want to report testify that I didn't even know about this activation. I didn't
get to listen to the supernatural. I didn't know, but I've been doing it. I felt it in my spirit to
do it anyway. So it's a beautiful thing. Because, you know, this community even is a new thing for
me getting used to community and like minded. So the fact that we've been on the same page,
but I didn't even know it. And I've been feeling like I've got to catch up on the recent calls last
week. And I think there were any maybe I don't know. But I usually catch up if I don't attend.
And I felt like I couldn't find any. And I'm like, okay, I'm just going to jump in on Tuesday.
And we're all aligned. It's beautiful. So yeah, way to go. Yeah, way to go. Thank you for dropping
in. Dee is in phase three, but she stops by to see us from time. Can't do without you. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh. But also, I don't know if this is for now or later. So stop me if you need to.
But, you know, I've had this dating thing that I'm just not going to do for a while. I wanted
to focus on work. The thing that broke off helped as well. So even since the back thing,
something lifted, because I'm now ready to get back on the apps again. So I've had a ladies,
if you don't know, I had a little break around the kind of just past Thanksgiving season until
recent weeks. So I'm telling you, that is a heavy boulder that's gone. So I jumped in today into FB.
And I have a question. Tell me if it's not appropriate. But it's more about I don't know
if you've heard of Facebook Light, anyone, the app. I've downloaded Facebook Light because I've
got the main Facebook, but I need that for my main profile, which is where my business things
are linked. And so I found accidentally Facebook Light and it allows you to have a second Facebook
profile. And that's what I use to do my dating on. But it's light. So some of the some of the
things available aren't fully available on Facebook dating. So I'm just I don't know,
I just kind of maybe wanted to brainstorm about what I can do because I don't think I'm getting
the full benefit. I'm getting enough where I'm seeing who likes me, whatever, but I can't change
my bio. The reason I'm using that is because when I switch between profiles on the main app,
it sometimes locks me out and I can't get back in again. So I decided to find another way and
I found this way. Anyway, I don't know if that's taking away from the current focus, but.
Yeah, that's what's happening.
So what's the question?
So the question is exactly. It's not quite a question. It's more like a this is what's
happening and I feel like now I'm back again. I'm ready to date online. I'm not having.
Just what your thoughts are on how to get around this app thing on Facebook dating.
Ark is not happening. I've stopped my profile. I've ended my subscription, so I'll run out next
month on that. I'm still on there, but I'm going to give that a pause for a while. But the point
is, it's more of a statement. And just to see if you had any thoughts about that, about Facebook.
Right side. I don't know. What's the what can you do about the app per se? I will have to
brainstorm some more about that. But one thing I do want to say for you, because of where you are
in your dating journey, I do want you to be be a little bit more narrower in your search.
So you want to start looking for more spirit deep.
and much more alignment. You've been in this for a while now, much longer time. And so
you do want to be, I want to encourage you to start narrowing things down a bit. If that
makes any sense.
You mean as in what I'm looking for or just like the apps I'm using or?
Start fine tuning the men that you accept to keep company with. And I'm not saying that
you weren't doing that, but I am saying you have been at this for a great number of months.
You've been in this process. And so that will be my encouragement to you when it comes to
you and dating that you start fine tuning your search and by that fine tuning, there's,
it's gonna eliminate a lot and that's okay. Because you can only marry one person. And
so if you can't get the Facebook dating app back to whatever you need to date, I want
to somehow, if you can try to, you know, do more things where you out and about where
you can meet people or go to events, if you can, I know your schedule is pretty busy.
I think that will be really good for you because I would like to see you date people
that are more local, even though I know that can be a challenge as well.
But yeah, those are my thoughts about you dating and just to remind you of that.
Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that. Yeah. Especially with the app, because one of the
things is it won't allow me to see all of the person's profile because it's a light
app. And so I'll get a notice that like some of the, you know, some of the things don't
match what you're looking for. And I don't, I can't always see whether they're smokers
or whatever, for instance, I can see things, basic things. So anyway, and then I'll find
out too late, you know, because it's not obvious because of the app.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's the light. Okay.
It's the light. Yeah. And so I don't know how to get around it. Because if I switch
to my normal, the normal Facebook app, I might get blocked out of getting back into
my other account. And it's been two years and I'm in, I'm in full flow with what I'm
doing with my business. So I kind of don't want to risk it again.
You can't create a new page, then you won't have any local friends. And so you won't be
able to. And so yeah, let's just, maybe the app is not going to be app friendly for you
this go round. Okay, I'll just try and maybe find another
one. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. I really appreciate your time. Thank
you so much. Of course, you're welcome, Dee. Yes, good to see you also, always. I don't
know if Claudia came back on, but I think that you were next. It was Deidre or Connie.
It was you Connie, go ahead. I saw you. Yeah, I think so. So yeah, I'll be really quick.
So also similar to me, I was already kind of doing the activation when I saw it after
I heard it on Supernatural Saturday, which I also had to watch the replay afterwards
because I was traveling for work last week. So that was kind of cool to find out that
hey, I was already kind of doing this stuff. So the activation that I'd started and I posted
one of them where I was, there's a particular, I guess, I don't know, testing or whatever
that one of my colleagues had encouraged me to do. She was like, Oh, when I was your age,
you know, I got all this stuff done and all this testing and she said, you should you
should definitely do it now. And so I finally did several months later. And then also something
that I think Jackie had said, on the call that I heard on the Supernatural Saturday
is something that I already started doing this year at the beginning of this year. And
so one of my best friends and I, we don't live in the same place anymore. But we meet
every right now we're doing it every month, where we have a little call. And we talk about
like our goals, like what are what are we trying to get done this year? And yeah, basically,
yeah, basically just like a goal check in. And we've had one so far this year, we're
gonna have another one this Sunday coming up. And so that was also something I think
Jackie had mentioned, like, tracking something, getting accountability. And then, yeah, so
I guess that's it for me for that. So yay. Wow, that's so good. Thanks for the update.
Yeah, awesome. Um, Deidre, give me one and also latest is Deidre on mute. I put that
I saw a little back and forth about what was the, the activation I post.
If you ladies saw it, it's like super long.
It looks long, but that's the activation.
If you all saw it.
And then one other thing before you start teaching.
Theta, is that how you say your name?
T-H-E-D-A.
Or is it Theta?
It's Theta, yeah.
Hey, Theta.
Hello.
How are you?
I'm good, I'm hiding out in here.
It's so good to see you.
I've been thinking about you.
Really?
Yeah.
So anyway, yeah, I was wondering,
you looking like, why is she doing this?
I know.
Well, I know that, you know, the last time we talked,
how long have you been in phase two?
Just started, so I was not camera ready, as you can tell.
So I was ducking in the bushes.
Until I called you out like that.
And then you made me turn my camera on.
No, I just started this week, so.
Okay.
Yeah, so I didn't, I wasn't ready.
I didn't have the, I didn't, I wasn't prepared, so.
It's okay.
No, no, well, I just saw you on there.
I didn't want to take a chance with you getting a wave.
And I was like, wait a minute, is that her?
Because I wondered if you decided to jump on camera.
I wondered if you decided to jump on board.
And so, welcome to phase two.
So good to see you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Okay, Deidre, go ahead.
Sorry about that, Deidre.
That's okay.
First of all, if you don't mind,
is my lighting okay, or do I need to go brighter?
I would like to see you go.
Go ahead, go for it.
Not that one.
I think I like the one bit.
Y'all chime in too, please, ladies.
What do y'all think?
Are y'all looking at her change the light?
Because.
Like close enough, or?
You look close enough.
Anybody have any thoughts about it?
I like that natural one right there.
This one.
This is warm.
Y'all like the natural one?
That's so warm.
Yeah, the natural one.
No.
Wave if you vote for the warm.
Sarah, say what you're gonna say.
Go, somebody say something.
That's the warm one.
No, it's like not that one, not the next one,
but the next one.
The third?
Not that one.
I like that one.
That one?
That one.
There's no names on it.
I don't know how to tell.
Okay, so the third one.
Number three, okay, number three it is, DJ.
Thank you.
You have beautiful hair.
My word.
Oh, thank you.
I'm like, I wasn't ready.
I didn't know we were supposed to, so anyway.
So I appreciate that.
Am I far enough away?
And what does my background look like to everybody?
Your background looks cute.
It looks like a bookshelf of some source,
a nice little table with something cute sitting on it.
Look like it be some potpourri things on the inside.
I like your background.
Then my office stuff kind of goes that direction,
but that's okay, that side?
Yeah, I like your background.
Anybody else likes the background?
Wave at us.
I think it's a nice background.
Okay, thank you.
Okay, that helps.
All right, so-
I'm gonna ask you this, Deidre.
I think a light from, I don't know, you ladies,
you can help out with this.
It seems like maybe if it was another,
if it was more light behind you,
I would like to see more light.
I don't know what it is, but it seems,
it could be that your bookshelf is dark
and your hair is dark.
Yeah, we need to pump it up.
Yeah, wait.
I've got the light right on the picture, but-
Oh, your camera's falling, don't worry.
Oh, that's so much better.
Okay, so I need the fan light on.
Yes, that's better.
Should I keep the other light off or have them both on?
Both of them.
Okay.
Both of them.
All right, I remember that.
And if for me with you,
you can try out different colors to see.
I know you're not camera ready,
but I'm just giving some feedback
because your hair is so beautiful and dark.
I would like to see you,
have you ever did a coral color before?
How does coral look against your skin?
I have, I can do that.
I don't have any, but I can look.
That's funny, because I did the chat GBT once
and that was one of the colors in my wardrobe,
but it did a lot of darker colors though.
It did, well, like tan with a lot of-
jackets because my stomach it had a lot of jacket stuff and
but not pastel colors, more of the deeper like wine green, you
know, like the olive green tans, more natural tones. So what is
in there too. So
I'll go look for coral.
Okay, that'll be fun. You're welcome.
Yeah. Okay, well, yeah, go for it.
Well, my activation, I realized I didn't actually finish the
activation, but it kind of goes off of my post kit is, is it
okay to go from activation and go into an issue with what
happened? Or are we not ready for?
Oh, no, where this is coaching? Go? No, go ahead.
Okay. So, um, the thing that I kept procrastinating on was
doing the dating online sex session, I skipped it went to
boundaries and get everything around it. But I'm like, Oh, I
just don't want to do and I think one time, somebody was
talking about, you know, why, you know, a lot of people are
saying exhausted. That's what I just was so exhausted. And this
dating sounded so exhausting. And, but last week, I just had
this, this hunkering as a desire, whatever, just to get on
there on the art because I saw it advertised. And then Jackie
advertised it with the on the thing and I'd already gotten on
I'm like, Oh, okay, so we're all doing this online, you know,
blind date thing. And so I'm like, Well, that sounds easy.
Five minutes. We're good. So I ended up finding one guy or
matching with this one guy, who is 70. I'm 61. And I'm like,
Lord. So we started talking and but then and we got along good.
It was we had some stuff in common. But then the last time
he didn't respond, like for a day, and I just left alone,
which is fine. Well, then when we got on to the speed dating,
and we were matched up, I'm like, Hello, again.
And so I'm still thinking the age is a huge deal, you know, but
he he's studying some stuff about kingdom business kingdom
minded stuff. And I'm like, Well, I'm, you know, that's all
about me. And so, so we started chatting. And I even said, Hey,
you know, if you want to go back, go go go, you know, since
we've already been chatting, we can catch up later if you want
to go. Thanks for your thoughtfulness. It's up to you
either way. Like, so anyway, we ended up talking. And I told
him, you know, it got into what we do for a living. And his is
on he's, he has a really great landscaping business that he
absolutely loves. Like does high end design and stuff. He's got
one in Dallas, Texas, and one in Ohio. And so so anyway, he
asked me and I was like, Well, I just started this bookkeeping
business. And I'm telling him about that. And he's like, Oh,
tell me about that. So basically, I got a lead for a
client for keeping. But then, because he taught he asked, you
know, because he's not willing to move. And then he brought up
something about he doesn't want to do long distance dating.
He's about reggae off his app, because everybody's so far away.
And he spent all this money on another relationship, I guess.
And I'm thinking, I'm staying away from this, you know, but
I'm feeling safe, because he's, I'm far away. And he said he
wants to spend the money. So we're good. I can pursue client
that tends to and and I was excited because he would be my
first client. He, he's a Christian, he seems like, you
know, this will be nice, I can learn and God gave me this
business. He brought me to it. And I got involved with kingdom
seekers. And you know, just lots of great things have been
happening. And so then we keep going, we're kind of, you know,
doing our lives and go back and forth. And it's like, he's like,
what about a meet, you know, we're gonna have a meeting this
this coming week, this Thursday is what we scheduled. And I
don't know, it came up with somehow, I don't remember what
he said, but basically, he's still interested in a
relationship. And I'm like, hold on, wait a minute. Because I'm
like, okay. And this is where the problem is, for me, I'm like,
those are two totally different entities, or whatever. I'm like,
all right, all about this. Yes, first client.
I need to learn this material I'm learning and just, you know, getting kind of psyched
up because there is some growing I've got to do in my confidence level.
And so.
And then he's throwing the relationship part out and I'm like, oh, my gosh,
I can't that'll totally I'm trying to save all my energy for the business part.
And so I kind of drew this line today, long text.
And I think I was very respectful and
honorable, but I basically separated the two.
I wanted to make sure that he knew it was separated.
And, you know, I want him to clarify, does this bookkeeping that you're wanting me
to do because he's serious about having me look at it and we'll see what happens.
Is it connected to a relationship?
And.
I think I just over shared what I have to stop doing all my dating stuff and.
So he just today, right before he actually
responded to what to another thing, because we've been kind of going back
and forth, he couldn't give me a good example, but.
If I can read it real fast and I can it
tells you, then I can.
Get to the point that.
Where I'm struggling, he said, Deidre, I will have time tomorrow to chat.
Frankly, I'm kind of confused.
I don't know what you're apologizing for or why you may think that I'm even
offended, I'm very mentally, emotionally, spiritually mature.
I don't get offended.
But so, you know, up front, I can also be quite direct in my speech.
So if you're easily offended, then just know up front,
because with me, it's either black or white on or off, right or wrong.
I won't dance on eggshells and I sure don't want or expect someone else to.
If we can't openly speak truth, then we don't need to be speaking at all.
That was the last thing he said.
And.
I don't know what your thoughts are on that, but I'm not used to being with a
mature man that I'm used to.
Having to read eggshells and, you know, like he's talking about.
Is he being too direct or is that normal?
And I'm just not used to it, I guess I'm unsure of how.
I know I got issues still to work on and I'm like.
I'm even confused as to what to how to even where to go, I can't hear you.
I know, I was like, oh, crap,
Deidre, what did you say to him?
Before I can't measure what he said, I know,
I know, I was like, sure, what she said, but in that is what you say
in order for me to turn it along, that's the only reason why I didn't go there.
But let me see.
How long is it?
Really, I got to go to the right one.
OK, let's read it super fast and we'll
wrap it up in a minute and I'll give you feedback on it.
OK, I'm so embarrassed.
OK.
Well, if you feel embarrassed, you're my sisters.
No, no, Deidre, if it's going to make you feel like you have
a vulnerability to hang over after you share, don't do it.
I can give you feedback.
I don't want you to do that.
If you if you don't don't do that.
So listen, what he said to you was he said to you, I'm a man.
I can hold my own.
I don't need you say whatever you're going to say to me.
And that's it.
OK, that's what he just said to you.
He says he he is a grown man.
He is mature in every way.
He says that he is straightforward.
He's encouraging you to be that way.
So everything you put on your text about, I'm sorry if you thought this and all
this apologizing that you're doing, he's saying, what are you even apologizing for?
So that's what he's saying to you.
It was a very straightforward text.
And that's good, right?
I mean, I mean, he's he speak the same way you expressed yourself, he expressed
himself.
This is what happened.
And so, you know, going forward, if what I would encourage you to do is look back
over your text that you sent him and be real with yourself every time he's like,
well, I'm so sorry and I'm so this, you know,
there's a lot of love that you add when you're talking.
It's best if I encourage you to stop.
Stop apologizing when no apologies are needed.
That's a behavior that we can learn and we can keep saying, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, it's what you're sorry about.
Well, you know, if I did.
anything, anything like what, you know, like, so that's like, that's, that's what he's saying.
And it's like this back, if you say, I'm so sorry. And I said, for what you like, well,
what? And I'm like, well, what like that back to you thing? Like, uh, that's what I'm saying. So
all of this extra fluff and all this extra apologies, let's not do that. Um, and also
one thing about when you're communicating with the man, they don't read all these big,
long text messages. They don't process like this. So be straight to the point,
whatever you're going to say, say like, you want to say to him, Hey, this is what you want to say
to him. I don't know if you said it, you told me you didn't want to be in a relationship because
you don't want to do long distance. And you also added some other things. I know that you probably
remember. So please let's not confuse business in a relationship. I'm only open for business
at this point, because I already understand how you feel. And I did do a pretty good job of that,
but I probably needed to cut that short. And I didn't do, I know what you're talking about,
because I have done that. And what I apologize for is he took it something a certain way. And I
probably earlier in a different text, when we were just chatting the other night that, because I was,
I said, I am willing to move. Well, it's on my thing that I can, I'm willing to move,
but we had chatted about, I was going to help my friend move up to Ohio. It just happened to be his
state. And so I was clarifying the business in personal. And so let me just read one more that
he said. He said, thank you for keeping me up to date or informed. But if I remember correctly,
you are also willing to relocate and even considering moving to Columbiana. That's not
where it was. But Columbus, I'm pretty open minded. I just won't make the same mistakes I did
before North squander, the large sums of money that I did previously, all of that went into a
six figure category. And that was not wisdom on my behalf. So here I am, he's basically saying,
because I was saying what you just said, I did say that, like, you're, this is what you said.
So, you know, I'm just sticking to business, basically. And so he was clarifying, saying,
well, I'm just not going to do that. And besides, you said you were coming this way.
So that's why I apologize. Well, that's not quite what I like. Yeah. Like he took that. I was
moving there. I was looking. And then, so when I apologized, what I was apologizing for, I probably
shouldn't have told him all that I should have said, I'm well, I'm excited to move. I don't know
where I'm going to move. You know, so I, so it wasn't this, oh, I'm such a loser. And I just,
it wasn't that kind. It was a true apology that was, I probably said something I shouldn't have
said. And that's not what I meant, but this is, you know, so we're trying to clarify boundaries.
I understand. And how long have y'all been getting to know each other?
Well, it's just, we talked one time before Sunday night and then this was Sunday night. And then
today. Yeah. Yeah. That's quite a bit. So my encouragement would be to, because I'm in the
business mode now. I totally went over the business. So I'm like, okay, I'm getting this,
I'm getting a proposal written up. So I'm so business, right. And yeah.
I would just say moving forward. And you already said that you believe that you share too much too
soon. I will just slow that down, but something happens when we're older, especially with men
and they just kind of share anything, even when they're younger, but no matter how much they share,
you just keep yourself composed so that you won't have to have these type of
drawn out conversations. I will say this Deidre, just from interacting with you,
I believe that you have a very pure heart and I want you to hear what I'm saying to you.
Don't put pressure on yourself to show up in some other kind of way. Whatever needs to be fine
tuning you is going to come over time, but I can see your heart. I believe that you're very sweet,
that you're very kind and that you're very honorable. I don't want you to carry any guilt,
any shame about, I messed it up. I should have did it different. I'm telling you that's not worth
your time. It's not going to sharpen you. And it's not going to grow you. And it's not going
to make you powerful. It's only going to tear you down and cause you to have self doubt about
your ability to get things done. You can totally get things done. And this is just the way it is.
And this is how you start fine tuning your interactions with men by conversations like
this. And you're like, Oh, I can scale this back. Oh, I can scale this back. And that's all this
is. That's why it's dating for discovery. Yep.
What should I say to him? Because he's looking for marriage. He's waited 14 years and he's
working on himself, you said, all this time. It doesn't matter. This is what you're going
to say back to him. All that doesn't matter. None of that matters right now. You don't know him.
That's the only thing that matters. All you know is what he said. And so to respond to his text,
what you're going to say, okay, thank you so much for sharing. This is very insightful.
That's it. That's the end of it. That's easy. It's very easy.
Yeah. Thanks so much for sharing. It's very insightful. I know more about you than I knew
before. Right. And so then everything goes after that. It's just going to be you taking it,
taking it slow. If you've already decided that you're going to do business,
then you're going to do business. So just keep, if just keep not pounding, but sticking with the
business aspect of letting, I mean, he obviously needs to lead that part of like, whether he wants
to or not. But yeah, I mean, if he speaks about dating again, just say, Hey, I thought we had
kind of dealt with this, but we've agreed to not date and we're just going to do business.
And then that's it. Okay. Well, yeah, that's why the problem is he's not really agreeing. I don't
think you can just stop talking to him. Forget the client, the business part. Yeah. He's not
the first thing. He won't be the last. He's just one person. If you're you, it's the more,
the concern is more about you, Deidre than about somebody for business. If you feel like a guy,
whether you feel like God brought him or not, they're going to be people that come along in
your business. That's going to come to help train you in business. That's going to do things to help
you grow and catch your blind side. And this same person could be in the way of flow of business.
Everything flows through you to help sharpen, you shape you to help you grow.
And when you have a client, something you need to learn early on, that's confused about whether
they want to do business or relationship, you find that you need to walk away from that.
That's not good business. Right. And so you have to do good business. And this is a decision you
have to make in that way. And would that even be considered unethical? I mean,
I think you don't want to start mixing love and money like that. I don't think that's healthy.
You're not losing. You're growing. You had to learn this at some point. Some,
some other guys going to come along. You're just growing.
So you can learn a little, you can learn lessons with low stakes and you can learn
lessons with high stakes. I take the low stakes. Okay. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. Okay,
ladies. I have about five names and we got about 17 minutes, but we can do it. Maybe. Are you still
on? Yes, ma'am. Hey. Hi. Oh, I was going to share before when we were talking about the activation,
but I'm fine. Like other ladies can share their dating experiences. Okay. All right. Sounds good.
Thank you. You're welcome, Joanne. If this is not the correct order, you ladies can say something.
Um, I think it is. Yeah, I think, I think that's how I wrote it down, but you never,
I never know. Um, I'll try to make it really quick. So I started talking to somebody
about a week ago and, um, I'm starting to feel like not, it's not healthy. Like I,
I would join that VIP, whatever, two weeks ago. And Jackie coached me saying,
like, I have this pattern attracting and getting attracted to like love bombing. And, um,
I saw you on the big screen. Did you? Oh my God. Oh my goodness. And I was like, gosh,
all these people remember what I told them. And I don't even know these people.
Anyways. So she gave me some really good advice about doing everything opposite, right? You heard
it. And so I've been trying to apply it. And so this gentleman, he has a, he's, he has amazing
heart for the Lord, but he's a lot younger. He's 33. I'm 46. He doesn't care about my age.
Um, and I think he was moving kind of fast cause he wanted to already send me like,
like a care care, like some things. And he's in Canada. And so, um, like he's,
He wanted to almost talk to me every day.
And then I noticed there was a pattern of him talking.
It's more one-sided conversation.
And when I would bring up stuff, he wouldn't address it.
And he would send me all these video clips and voice memos.
And I'm like, hmm, I don't really
want to engage with someone where they're talking
about themselves so much.
That's number one.
And he is a very sensitive guy, which is fine.
But we both are very sensitive.
So I don't know if that's just feels like he's
not very emotionally stable.
And then financially, because he wanted to come visit me,
he already was like, I want to come visit you.
I'm like, OK, that's cool.
But then he was saying a couple months because
of his budget and his work, which I understand the work
thing, but I'm like, budget?
It's really only a few hundred dollars to fly out here.
So we had this whole miscommunication
because apparently he looked up where I lived.
I told him where I lived.
And he's been where I lived.
And AI had told him, like Mountain View, like, oh,
how much is it to fly to go to Mountain View?
It showed up $8,000 to $10,000.
So he was planning to spend $8,000 to $10,000
to come fly to see me, which is amazing.
But then it's like, that's a hell of a lot of money.
And why would you even think that it's $8,000 to $10,000?
Like, that's odd to me.
He's even been here.
And I showed him, no, it's not $8,000 to $10,000.
It's only a few hundred.
And so it's like, oh, in that case, I can afford it
and all that stuff because I've dated a guy completely broke
that was 14 years younger than me.
I was 38 and he was 24.
So I told him, this is why I'm asking you.
It's not because I need to know how much you make or whatever.
I just want to make sure you have the means to be able
to apply because I'm 46.
I want to get married and settle down and have kids.
I'm not looking for a boy kind of thing.
I said it in the nicest way.
So I guess I kind of made a decision.
I think this is not working for me.
But I wanted to check in.
I do have a gift of discernment.
And when I talk to my friends, they're like, Joanne,
you know from God.
And you know, you're wise.
You should just say it instead of dragging it out.
And I think that's a pattern I've had, too,
where it's like, I tend to drag it out because I feel like, oh,
but he's good.
But he has these great qualities.
And he's so accommodating.
He's willing to.
Because I even brought up, it just
feels imbalanced in our conversation.
And he was so willing to accommodate and change.
But then I'm like, I didn't want to say these things.
Because I don't want a guy to change for me.
I want to see them for who they are, right?
Yes.
So this is the conversation you have.
Hey, it's been really great getting to know you.
As I've told you, I'm marriage-minded.
I date with intentionality.
And from my observation, we are not aligned.
You don't align well for where I'm headed
or what I have in mind for partnership in the future.
Do you think that's right on?
I'm not being overly picky or overly, I just,
because usually the Lord tells me within a week
if it's not really the right person.
I just feel like something's not aligned.
And it's kind of getting confirmed.
Sometimes I don't even have evidence.
But the more I speculate, it gets more complicated.
And it gets more unnecessary conversations.
And so I just want to make sure I'm in the right track.
I'm not just cutting guys off or, you know.
Well, do you want a 33-year-old man?
OK.
I don't look at age, but I look at maturity.
And I don't think he's, like, that mature.
But you said he wasn't mature.
I don't think he's mature enough for me.
OK, that's your answer.
He's not mature for you.
You guys don't align.
I tried to tell him that yesterday.
But then he was still like, no, I think we, you know.
Joanne.
Yes.
Listen, nobody can tell you about you.
You're not on a journey with him.
You're on a journey with the Father.
You made a decision for your own life.
You say that you are aligned.
You don't need his approval.
You don't need his agreement.
You're not measuring who he is against you for him.
You're comfortable with him.
But what are you doing with him that's against you for him?
Your conversation is I.
I.
I've enjoyed getting to know you.
I've decided that we're not aligned for where I'm heading.
What do you mean?
There are things that are important to me.
and this is not in alignment.
There are values that I have.
Well, what are they?
I don't want to discuss them
because that calls a comparison
and that will cause you to say what you can do.
And I don't want to know what you can do.
This doesn't work for me.
And once you say that,
if a person can't honor what you're saying,
that tells you that something's happening anyway, okay?
And so that's the thing,
is these I statements in dealing with it.
This is what it is.
The back and forth, the tug that you have,
you have to be mindful that it's not tied up
in thinking you're gonna miss something.
You're not gonna miss anything.
And that's just, that's how it goes.
Yeah, that's what I was addressing too.
But based on what I shared,
do you feel like there's kind of like,
not just misalignment, but sort of like,
man, isn't that good signs?
And he was like bombarding me with messages
and messages and voice messages and stuff.
It was like,
and then he wrote me a card that was like,
forever friends and always towards you.
And he spelled my name wrong.
But I mean, it was just feeling like,
this is a lot within like a few days.
Am I discerning correctly that this is-
Joanne, it doesn't take a discerning spirit
to understand that there's too much in two days.
There's wisdom, there's boundaries.
And so sometimes we get so caught up
and I want you to be mindful of that
about what God is saying.
Does God have to speak when somebody is doing all of that
and you don't know them?
Before God should say something,
wisdom should talk to you.
Before God say something,
boundaries should talk to you.
Actually principles speak to us before this hearing God.
If God, if you're talking to somebody for two days
and you're operating outside of boundaries
and principles and wisdom,
God has to talk to you when you,
we have to adhere to principles and boundaries and wisdom.
A lot of times the odd that you're feeling
is actually wisdom talking to you,
trying to get your attention.
A lot of the stuff we feel happen
is people crossing boundaries.
That uneasiness that you feel is boundaries being crossed.
It's not even God, it's not even discernment.
It's a boundary being crossed.
It's wisdom saying, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, right?
The knower in you knows that these things are inappropriate.
And so deal with things.
My encouragement to you, Joanne,
because you've been on this journey for a while
and you're trying to make a change on what you're trying,
deal with things and deal with them quickly
and don't look back.
And don't feel bad, right?
That's the other thing is like not having a fear in man,
like making him feel bad.
And he was planning to come out
and he's going to send me this carrot.
Now I'm like, no, don't.
It just feels bad.
Well, it is challenging to tell somebody y'all don't align.
I had to do that here recently.
And it is hard.
It does not feel, it don't feel easy.
Well, if he was gonna willing to come out and see me
and then send me a message and write me a card
and it's just like, I feel bad.
What do you feel bad about?
He want, that's not even wisdom on his part, Joanne.
He haven't known you for two days.
What do you feel bad about?
It's been like a week,
but it was like three or four days
when it was a bombardment of messages, yeah.
Okay, so you're dealing,
you're operating with a person
who doesn't have a dating coach,
who's not operating in wisdom
and they don't know how to date within boundaries.
Actually, this person does.
No, they don't, Joanne.
If somebody bombards you in a week,
well, you think that's supernatural, huh?
No, it's not supernatural.
Okay, he doesn't have wisdom.
Don't tell me that he does
when he's operating outside of wisdom.
He's operating outside of boundaries.
He doesn't even know you.
He knows nothing about you,
but yet he would invest in you into this great of deal
and put himself at risk.
He doesn't know you.
I know.
Exactly, so he does not have wisdom.
No matter how much he hears from God.
No, I have magic.
Joanne.
This person's really prophetic though.
He's really prophetic.
Well, right off into the sunset,
we had prophetic self.
No, I'm done with that.
I used to do that and it was bad.
It was so toxic for my dating life,
that's why I don't.
Joanne, we don't marry people in the spirit.
We marry people in the natural.
That's the thing where you have spirit in natural.
Practicality is what is required for marriage.
Practicality.
You don't marry up in the spirit realm.
You marry people who need communication skills,
who need wisdom.
who need capacity, who need forgiveness,
who need grace, who need mercy.
They need to be able to operate in these things.
I don't care how much you hear from the Lord,
the Lord can't do that for you.
These are the fruits of the spirit,
self-discipline, control.
Those are fruits of the spirit, it's called character.
So it doesn't matter about you hearing from God.
You can find a righteous person
who don't prophetically anything,
but they're committed to righteousness
and they move when God says,
the Bible says that the steps of a good man
are ordered by the Lord, not the steps of a prophetic man.
The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord
and he delighted in his way.
And I just really want to encourage you,
a lot of times with prophecy and spiritual stuff,
we get really tied up.
There's a lot of spiritual manipulation happening.
None of these things, it's just wisdom.
There's no such thing as prophecy outside of wisdom.
They partner, they're a couple.
And you have to hold fast to that,
especially when you're operating a lot of prophecy.
Prophecy and wisdom walk together
and if they don't agree, you have an issue.
You know, the Bible says,
God says, I honor my word above my own.
He says to the grass within the flower faded,
but the word of God will endure forever.
The word of God, the logos word of God, there's wisdom.
He said, don't build a house unless you count up the cost.
He said, don't even follow me unless you count up the cost,
not unless you get a prophecy.
You count up the cost before you do anything.
And so wisdom is the thing
and all you're getting, get an understanding.
Are you following me?
I am following.
I totally agree and this is confirmation.
I have one last question, so you gotta go.
Do you think I should say,
cause we have mutual friends.
No, I think I just told you what you should do.
As in like, should I say, and we are friends,
don't worry, I'm still your sister in Christ,
or just say, no, I don't think we're aligned,
just leave it at that.
Do you want, can he sharpen you to help you grow?
I don't know him well enough to really know much.
That's my point, Joanne.
When you come talk to me, ask me if it's Jesus.
No, this ain't no prophecy.
So when you respond back and say, should I be his friend?
And then you say to me,
well, I don't even know him well enough to be his friend.
That's my point.
Okay, okay, it's just cause I know
I'm gonna have to see this person, right?
So I don't wanna have bad juju or like bad vibes.
Look, I know, I'm sorry you guys,
you have your hands up.
Y'all gonna have to vote for me
because we have to disconnect.
But I wanna say this to you, Joanne.
Being, clarity is kindness.
I think we underestimate vulnerability.
You get on the phone with your brother in Christ
and say, let me have a conversation with you
as a sister in Christ.
That's respectful, that's honorable.
And you say to him, we're not aligned
according to what I am, according to what I want right now.
And say, I don't wanna get into explaining
everything to you.
This is the decision that I've made,
but I'm having this conversation with you
because I honor you, right?
So what comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Yeah, okay.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Gail.
Yes, hi.
Quick, quick question.
I talked to Karla regarding, I'm on phase two
or stage two in a relationship with,
now actually I'm on stage two with two guys, okay?
That's a whole nother story.
But my specific question is,
Karla told me that I needed to find,
the one guy lives close
and we have a lot of common mutual friends.
The other guy's about an hour and a half away.
And she suggested I get to know the other guy
in his community.
Well, there's no red flags with either one,
not a red, they're the,
both display a lot of respect and fruits of the spirit.
But the yellow flag I have on,
I guess it's yellow, maybe it's a red,
on the guy that lives away
is he doesn't go to church regularly.
But he says he's fully willing to go to my church
or support me, blah, blah.
And so, but Karla told me,
can go to his community.
You've gotta get,
you have to get familiar with his community that he's in.
Well, he doesn't have a church.
He, his, he doesn't talk to his one son.
They're not in good terms.
And I asked him, can you,
cause he wants to take me out again.
Thursday. Um, he, we went Tuesday and I said,
can we do something with your relatives, friends or something?
And he said, well, in the summer I have a lot of friends around my camp,
but I really don't have too many friends that are close by. And,
and, and then his only family is his son who doesn't talk to him.
So I'm kind of perplexed.
He doesn't have a church family cause he doesn't go to church regularly.
I mean, where do you fit in that? I mean,
I agree. I, I, I see what you're saying.
Well, I just see him in community. I mean, I've been,
I've gone out on dates with him.
He's come here and I see him interacting with the cashiers and the people,
which is, he's very friendly, but
if you're going to continue getting to know him,
then I guess y'all are going to have to go around your community more. Okay.
Did you say he didn't have family at all?
He has a son that doesn't speak to him and his parents are dead.
He doesn't have any living relatives. Uh, he said he,
he has a camp that's closer to me about an hour away.
And he says in the summertime he has a lot of cookouts and stuff with his
neighbors and he watches their house and that, you know,
but it's a seasonal camp. So
right now there's nobody.
And how long have you been knowing him? About a month.
You like him, huh? Well,
I do like him. I, I, I, I've, I had, uh,
11, I hate to say it. I had 11 men I was chatting with. I got disgusted.
I narrowed it down to four, stop the dating apps.
And then I eliminated two of the four and I'm down to the two that I,
that had no red flags at all. The yellow flags are very,
I think superficial. Um,
and I'm confused because I like them just about the same. Okay. Let me, um,
the other guy has been six weeks and he,
and both of them would have expressed a very big desire. They have not, they're,
they're exclusive. They're not dating anyone else. They're not asking me to,
they both know I'm seeing somebody else, but they would really,
they really want me longterm. So
they want you to get up.
Let me, uh, let me, let me talk to,
I know Carla already told you to do that.
Let me talk with the coaches and get a little more feet. Um,
it's something that I want to say, but I want to,
I want to get some more feedback on that because that is an important piece.
Very, very important.
Okay.
And he didn't have community nor does he make community.
And so with this coming right for me,
he said his whole, you know, he kind of like it
incubates himself, you know, um,
in the winter, but in the summer, spring, summer, and fall,
he stays at his camp and that's where all his, and,
but they come from all different areas of the state, you know,
cause it's their seasonal camps. These people own on a Lake. And so they,
that's his community, but nobody really knows him.
Not, there's nobody that can really take, right. Yeah.
Let me get some feedback on that. And I'll, um, I'll, I'll,
I'll follow up with you. Okay. Can you make a post for me?
So I can just say, Hey, thanks for coaching or something like that.
Okay. Yeah. All right. And for all of you ladies that are new, um,
I just want you to know that it's, don't think I was being harsh on, um,
it's just a case. It seems like, uh,
hey pretty that I was a harsh on joy. I was not harsh on Joanne.
Joanne we've been, we chat a lot. So,
so I hope, please don't think that I will banter back and forth with you like
that. Uh, I just realized I needed to say that we've been rocking a long time.
So I just want y'all to know that we have a really good rapport with each other.
So I wasn't hard on her or anything like that.
I hope you can sense the relationship that was there.
So if anybody was offended, please don't be.
So, okay. Um,
I don't go over the name so many times. Lou Anna.
Lou Annie. Sorry if I said it wrong. Hey, it's been a while.
I know. Yeah. Uh,
so I don't even know where to start cause, um,
I did the apps for maybe a week and a half and it did not go well.
I gained almost 10 pounds after that cause it really
really damaged how I feel about myself and how this did not go right.
The only feedback I got was from like, a robot. Like, it literally was, you know,
like those chatbots that people create to, to scam an app. Yep. Yeah. I went to
Miami for his home. Like I live in Tulsa, but Miami for the past year and everyone was like,
so scared of how much weight I gained. Oh no. Yeah.
Well, it'll come out though. It's just 10 pounds. No, I said 10, 10, 10. Well,
well, you know, I learned one thing about weight. It's sure as it comes, it'll go,
but yeah, I'm with you. I bet that's hard. We need to,
would you be, would you be opposed to booking a one-on-one session? That's not,
that's a lot from the interaction. Have you, have you,
have you asked the Lord about what happened? Like what, what happened when they, you know,
what, what's happening? I have, I have been asking. I think I got some answers this week.
I mean, maybe there's some spiritual things that I need to pray over and
fast. But also I don't know, just very, very low self-esteem is like something I've struggled all
my life with and self-worth. Yeah. Well, we want to deal with it. I want to help you with it.
Um, and the reason why I want to help you, Hey, girl, will you mute your, um,
your thing? Cause you type.
I've been divorced for four years now and I've never had a date. And I have friends in Miami
that just divorced and they already like living with a guy and they're already, you know, they've
moved on and I'm just, well, I wouldn't use them as a measuring. I definitely wouldn't use
them as a measuring because for one, that's not a good way to measure yourself. That's
not a measurement to have. Please don't use it to measure yourself. Okay. If you would do anything
that I know that you're safe, if you would just dump that out, that is a very toxic measurement.
You are not them. You don't even the comparison of what they have, or it's just not a good
measuring system. Other people is not a good measuring system. Okay. And so there's a,
what we would need to get to the bottom of is whatever lie you're believing when this stuff
happened on the dating app, what lie was that? Where did it come from? Replace it with truth.
That's how that's going to have to work. And they're going to have to keep working that truth
until the new person emerges. And it's nowhere around it. You know what I'm saying?
Is it muddy, dirty work? Yeah. But you look up in six months, you'll be a different one.
You look up in a year and you'll be a different woman. And it's better to be a different woman
in six months in a year than it is to stay the same woman for the next 20 years.
Because as long as you're served, as long as you deal with self-esteem and worth
and value, you'll always be prey for men who won't value you.
And that's not the position that you have to live in. And you've not been called to this space.
And so I know that there are a lot of things that we can unpack and we don't have time to
unpack that over the call. But if you would just do a little research or post for me
the lies, if you haven't done it, journal the lies that came up when you weren't
received well from your opinion on online dating.
And we need to just track that down
to get to the root of what's happening.
It wasn't just the online dating.
Like I did some dating once
and the only guy I said yes to didn't show up to the date.
A friend recently like prepared this whole like dinner
for everyone so I could meet this person.
She really wanted me to meet for the past month and a half
and nothing came out of it because the person never,
you know, asked for my number, never followed through.
So it was a compilation of things, a compiling of things.
And I hear your heart in that matter
but we still need to figure out what you're believing
and deal with it.
It's not a lost cause.
It's actually pointing to what's happening
that the Lord wants to deal with.
Cause you're gonna have to get rid of it
because it's keeping you in bondage, right?
And so if you would write them, just jot it down,
journal the root lies and post them for me
and let's try to walk through them through the app,
you know, posting with each other
and then let's see how far we can get.
And you can always do a one-on-one coaching session
which I think will be really good for you.
But I understand if that's not possible.
I wanna help you the best way I can.
So if you would just post what lies you're believing
and let us just finger comb our way through them
and get you to a place of freedom.
Okay, thank you.
I really wanna help you with that.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
Okay, ladies, I hope that you have a good night.
My other two ladies, if you will post, we are over our time
but I thank you all for hanging in.
Pretty!
It's okay.
You know, I don't wanna leave y'all.
I'd be so happy to see you ladies
but if you will post for me, that would be really great.
All right, ladies, have a good night.
Good night.