So, it is March 16th, the day before St. Paddy's Day.
We're green tomorrow, guys.
Actually, it doesn't matter.
If you want to get pinched, that's fine, too.
We're here.
Man's heart check-in.
Sorry.
I guess the first poll of the day is, I'm going to be doing corned beef and cabbage.
Is that something you guys grew up doing?
And I don't do the green food coloring, just because I can't.
I know there's green Guinness, like the beer.
As an Irish, my ancestry being Irish, I don't like the cultural appropriation, so I'm going
to act offended all day.
That's what I do.
Are you?
Sweet.
You know, at least you have a legitimate reason, right?
And so, what do you guys, I love you some corned beef and cabbage, but you know.
We did that.
We're growing up.
We for sure did.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't make it myself.
I don't pretend to be any kind of good cook.
Oh.
Yeah.
You know, like the things when you have kids, though, like, you know, we would do green
milk in the morning, just like, just to be fun, like, and have something different, right?
You know, like, well, and then one of my sons was like, Oh, great.
The other one's like, Oh, what did you do to my milk?
You never know what you get with the kids, right?
So those kids, do they still do like the leprechaun traps?
We used to do that when we were kids.
Like, what is that?
Like, explain, explain the leprechaun trap.
That sounds like fun.
We used to do.
It was like fourth, fifth grade.
We used to create these elaborate traps that we would leave overnight in the classroom
or the weekend.
And it would, you know, and the teacher would go, I did this when I was a teacher briefly
as well.
And you'd, you'd sprinkle like green glitter in there or something, just see it.
Oh no, you escaped your trap or whatever, or gold coins.
They were in there.
We used to do it.
It was kind of a, an engineering project.
You tried to explain how your trap worked and how it lured it in.
And I guess, I don't know if they still do stuff like that.
Kind of wins.
Leave some, leave a trail, a trail of lucky charms up to it.
That'd be kind of fun.
They're magically delicious.
So, you know, any wins for you guys and, you know, you know, we all, like there's power
in the testimony.
How are you guys doing?
Anybody have, have any, any breakthroughs?
I got something crazy weird.
Crazy weird?
Yeah.
I'll, I'll, I'll lead off with and share with you guys.
So I've got the physical hard book.
I don't, have you all got the physical hard book?
I did, but then I gave it to somebody.
So now I think I have the PDF.
Okay.
So, I don't know.
I mean, for me, this is better because I turn over the pages and write all in it and it's
super good.
Yeah.
And it's cheaper than printing out the PDF.
That's true.
So I'm on week two.
I was here.
I've missed three, three weeks in a row.
I was in Minnesota for work and just.
There you go.
Yeah.
Some other crazy stuff came up, however, well, what can you, can you do me a favor
and just refresh me?
What is week two about week two or like, or is that what you're, it's like, is that that
you were going to talk about or not?
Not right off.
Oh, okay.
Like, you know, I want to contextualize just so I know where it's been.
It's been a wee little bit since I've read the book.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I should not be a leprechaun, like an Irish, a terribly Irish person today.
I mean, I've got some points out of week two, but this is crazy weird.
Okay.
What is crazy weird?
Okay.
So in the physical book, this page that I'm holding up is the one that has the verse about
writing Lord into your heart and in examining your heart and revealing to you your anxious
cares and worries.
Is that like David was saying, Lord exam, you know, okay, that, that verse, Lord, you'd
look at my heart, you know, examine it.
Is there any unrighteous way in me, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
So this page came out, it came out of my book.
How many more general?
No, I mean, it was, I mean, it was never found in the book.
Oh, that's interesting.
It's the only page in the whole book that's that way.
It's the only page in the whole book.
Well, you know, a lot of people would say that, you know, that's a God wink potentially
and like a sign, but, um, yeah, I live in the prophetic.
Not everybody lives in the prophetic, I do.
So what page was that Christopher was asking?
It's page 34, and the verse is Psalm 139, 23 through 24. I'll read you the whole verse.
God, I invite you, I invite your searching gaze into my heart, examine me through and through, find out everything that may be hidden within me.
Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares, see if there is any path of pain I'm walking on, and lean back to your glorious ways, the path that brings me back to you.
But this page, I mean, it was like never bound in the book, and the rest of the book's like perfectly fine.
Yeah, well, it does seem like a prophetic sign, you know, I mean, it was interesting because, I mean, we have such a different, like, does everybody here know what, like, the whole, okay, so prophetic sign.
If you're not into the prophetic, God's, you know, Jesus says, my sheep hear my voice. Can we all agree with that, right?
You know, and then, like, so if you, and there are things that happen, people say, I don't know if you've ever been where somebody says something and it just stands out to you, you know, a lot of times that's God speaking through another person.
I mean, he spoke through a donkey to Balaam so he can use anybody, right?
So I just, just for context, and sometimes, I mean, I had a thing last week, Renee was on, right, and she was leading, and she's like, Mike, I see your wife being an hour and a half away, right?
And it stood out to me, right?
Like, it was just, and guess what?
I just matched with somebody this morning who was an hour and a half away and looks like an amazing, it's everything that I'm looking for.
And so, you know, I'm just like, huh.
So, you know, some people say that was coincidental.
I don't believe in coincidence.
I just don't, right, you know, and I have to be diligent with my thing.
So anyway, so that page is out, and the Lord's saying, hey, you know what?
That is my, you guys, that is my prayer constantly.
Lord, look at me, make sure that I'm square, right?
You know, look at, in the end, you know, because I, was it, sorry, I have a lot of conversations.
I'm trying to remember if it was Renee last week.
If it wasn't Renee last week, it was somebody else, but the Lord wants us to be, we're all becoming something, right?
Or, well, you're either going one way or the other.
You're becoming, you're going backwards or forward.
But, you know, the best thing is to become the best you, you know?
And people are like, how am I going to meet my spirit mate?
Well, you listen to people around you.
You be obedient with what God gives you.
You ask him, hey, what do I need to be ready for this?
And then you just, he'll bring it in in time, right?
Sorry, I'm talking a lot.
But, so, but Chris, I was trying to over, the overarching thing is prophetic.
The prophetic, if you were to say it, is God speaks and you hear it, right?
You know, I mean, if you want to take the prophetic end of the world.
So, yeah.
So, I mean, for me personally, I mean, we all know the ways that the Lord commonly speaks to us through the word, through other believers.
So, I have a lot of dreams.
I mean, like, you know, I have a dream journal that was written by one of the guys out of Bethel.
Ben Armstrong, yeah.
Yeah, from Ben Armstrong, exactly.
I've been out to Bethel for a prophetic conference and activation.
And I, being that we're bringing up Ben.
Okay.
So, you guys, there's some, there's some things that came out about Ben.
I haven't been keeping up with it, right?
I just, right now there's a purge in, there's a house cleaning in the house of the Lord right now, right?
And people who have done things in the past that were not right or not made right or their victims were never heard are now coming out everywhere.
And I actually really, it breaks my heart that the things happened, but I'm happy that the house of the Lord is being cleaned up, right?
So, I just, but I do, I've known Ben, right?
Like, you know, like Ben's somebody who I've spent time with, and I'm very disappointed, to say the least.
But the anointing, look at David, right?
Anointed to be king, massively amazing in so many different ways.
Terrible as a dad.
Terrible as a husband, right?
You know, like, so, so Ben is really gifted in dreams, right?
Like, the dude's, the dude, so you can take whatever Ben did about dreams and you can, and you can put your, you can, you can hold on to it.
Because the dude.
is legit in that. Now his personal life, that's a whole other thing, and it's been untrained.
And I don't fully know what has come out, but I just know he was put on leave of absence.
And I'm sorry, I don't know who's going to be watching this, but I don't want anybody being
like, hey, I don't abdicate what Ben did in any way, but God gives gifts to broken people,
and you can learn from those gifts even though the person does stupid stuff. Does that make sense?
Yeah. Well, I don't know what you're talking about, Ben, but I do know the whole
shebang with Bethel right now. So it's Sean Bowles, it's Ben, and there's a bunch of others,
and there's a couple others that they platformed. And they have a third party working into it,
which is really good. Right. Okay. Well, you're talking about the same thing. I didn't know Ben
Johnson was in the middle of that. Ben Armstrong. Well, I thought it was Valentine, but anyway,
I mean... So anyway, so you got your dream journal. I'm sorry, when you mentioned Ben,
I wanted to address that, because there's going to be some people be like, who is that? That guy's
a clown. And he did make some mistakes, but he is actually legitimately gifted.
So the Lord communicates to me through dreams. Sometimes I'll do as the prophet said, I'll say,
Lord, what does this dream mean? Sometimes I'll get an answer right away, and sometimes I won't
find out for years. And I also had visions, and I've had this really crazy out of body experience.
And so I live in a different world where some people would think I need to be in a quiet room
in a straitjacket. But anyway, I've been having these experiences for decades and didn't know
what they were. And finally found it, you know, leaned in on a friend that I knew
lived in that world. And he kind of explained it to me and turned me on to
a book written by James Gall.
So okay, so you had the page, how does the dreams like, so what is the Lord showing you in this
whole thing? Can we sum it up into like a, you know, to tie it up into, so you had the page that
was out of the book, and you've had these dreams, which the prophetic God often speaks through
dreams, right? What is the Lord showing you? Right, so the dreams are not really related to what
has happened to me recently. But
so I got about this freaking close to sexual immorality in the past couple weeks. I mean,
I was like, that close to it. I mean, it was breathing on me. You know, I mean, it was.
Yeah, no, I mean, like, when you're about ready for a breakthrough, when you're walking into what
your God's calling, you know, you're like, dude, I've had some of the craziest experiences, right?
So yeah, I mean, Jezebel was right in front of me. Yeah. Yeah. And so you're still here. You're
still here. And you didn't make it. And you didn't go down that road, right? Yeah. You know why?
Because the Lord pulled me out of it. Yeah. I credit it all to God, because
I was right in the midst of it, you know, fixing to do the dirty deed, and the Lord
pulled me out of it. Yeah, no, like, there always is a way of escape. And it may be stupid. And you
may be almost there. But like, the fact is that you escaped, right? And like, the enemy
really likes to bind things, right? Like, and he'll bring, I can't tell you how many people I
know who have given in and ended up with kids, right? Like, just so I don't, I mean, you know,
the enemy doesn't play fair, right? You know, so I'm glad that you didn't fall for that. So that,
you know, and hey, a win is a win. Right? Yeah. Now, my encouragement is like, I would look at
how you got there and make sure that path, like, you know, put a gate on that path.
Yeah, exactly. I don't want to tie up too much time here, because I know there's quite other
people who want to talk about it. That's kind of, you know, what's been going down with me.
Yeah, you guys, a near miss is still a win. Right? Like, you know, I mean, I've had so many things
where, I mean, it was just, there was something stupid happened that changed the whole outcome.
Because, you know, and so I don't want to pretend like I got everything together,
you know, I mean, I have, but when in those places I have built.
I've stopped running down them, I've deleted apps, I've gone through all kinds of things
to make sure.
You know, it's this flea temptation, right?
It doesn't say play with it, you know, even though we want to, how close can we get without,
you know, so.
Well, Chris, I'm glad, thank you for sharing, and I'm glad that you didn't get eaten.
And you guys, it's a counterfeit, it's, you know, like, so.
I think it's hard, because, you know, you talk about, I avoided Jezebel.
For me, it's funny, because I'm going through this, this dating one-on-one part of Love
Story Accelerator, that's where I'm at, which, you know, side note, I don't really know what
I'm doing after the artwork, I'm kind of just going through what's available to me.
And it's, I feel a little bit like I'm behind enemy lines, because it's, it, the replays
are very, or when she was teaching her women's group, so I'm really, like, getting some insider
information, which is helpful.
About how it works.
That's what's amazing about this group.
And like, and, Jack, you'll share, I mean, Bethany, like, you know, any of the ladies
are up, they're like, they're giving us, like, privileged, privileged in the way of, like,
helpful information, not like they're sharing other people's information, right?
Yeah, and, but this week, I, you know, talked about the sex, you know, talking about sex
too early, or talking about things that, on first Zoom calls or dates that you shouldn't
really be talking about, and I know in my past I've done it, certainly, I got in conversation
with a woman from work, who I've known now for a couple years, I mean, we've been, you
know, cordial work friends.
And we did get into one of those conversations, just having to be sitting next to each other
on some downtime.
And she's been throwing out, you know, throwing down hankies, as they say, which, and she's
not a believer, she's not, we don't share a lot of like, that kind of stuff, but she's
super nice.
And she's fun.
And, and I tell you, I had that conversation with her.
And I walked away from that.
And then did went through the dating 101 that just happened to mention that very soon after.
And I was like, and it was very tempting, because it's not that she's a Jezebel, she's,
she's actually quite kind.
And I think she would be a very attentive girlfriend and all of that kind of stuff.
And certainly very open to some very tempting things.
And so I tell you that temptation, it wasn't necessarily just like, a bad Jezebel trying
to like, lure me, it was more that I could just finally lay down the discipline for a
bit, you know, just back it off.
Can I put my Christian card away?
Can I put my card, can I just put it like, yeah, no, I mean, dude, it's, it doesn't matter
if it's overt, or it's covert, or, dude, I think it's, for me, when somebody's coming
up and like, hey, they're like, really, like, hey, let's, let's sleep together, it doesn't
really bother.
I have no problem with that, because I'm like, see you later.
But it's the ones that are kind and nice and warm.
And you're like, oh, man.
And so yeah, I think I think both ways.
I think that's a lot harder for me is the ones that are kind, right?
Any attacks and saying attacks, you were your weakest because it was what got me was she
was just sharing some of the stuff that her ex had gone through with some sexual dysfunction,
and stuff like that.
And it really pulled on my white knight syndrome, be like, Oh, this girl had been taken care
of.
And I realized that that thought train was going down a bad, bad track.
Yeah.
Oh, man, I have not gotten that far off of the path in a while.
Well, it's good that you're recognizing it, right.
And like, you know, and, and you guys, just so you know, like, even if you're on the apps,
right?
Like, just, just the just scrolling through the apps is going to get your toss testosterone
up.
Right?
Like, it's, you know, like, be aware of that, like, you know, being with a beautiful, your
testosterone is coming up, you know, you know, and like, being aware of that.
And like, dude, I steer free, like, unless we're like, level three, is it stage three?
Like, yeah, I think three or four, I think for like, you need to keep those conversations
out out until you're like, way down the road, right?
Like you guys are in, you know, in the first couple of dates in the first couple of times
is like, hey, let's have some fun.
Let's just be like, see the light things and you know, getting into trauma bonding and
all that stuff's not really good in the first.
Well, you could do it, but you're you're creating a false intimacy, right, which, which is also
creating soul ties, which then which, you know, it's a whole connect.
It's just a whole snowball.
Yeah, Jackie says the late late level three as which says if you're gonna have it. Yeah, but yeah
I would say I would say four would be the bet if you can delay it till four
Right, because you know, it's like don't wake in love until it's time, right?
Like, you know, I thought it's like, you know, the longer you can prolong. Okay
Sorry, I'm getting all crazy here. But like, you know, I guess this is how it's rolling today
I was I had a whole nother idea but so
um
People go can
The the longer you can delay the physical
Right, the better you are off right and for a physical touch person, that's hard for me, right? But but because
once you start it it
Like steps up there's their state levels, right? Like, you know, so like if you're just day one you guys are making out well
What's the next levels?
Yeah, so did you can't get to level four so you're already kind of setting yourself up for disaster or a lot of pain
You know, and so and especially when you've been married before and it's you have to well, I mean I guess
Maybe you guys I always think like everybody knows this
So when you've been when you're used to you've been in a marital relationship before it's just a natural progression
But but it was with your you know X or whatever or whoever so when you come into a new relationship
You have to retrain your system because your system is used to going eight from A to Z
Right, and if you're not aware of that you could get in a lot of trouble really quickly, right?
And it's not always you don't know what you don't know. But then what you don't know can really get you so
Yeah
That's uh, I don't know if I would wait to have the at least talking a little bit about sex
You know nuts and bolts
Not necessarily doing it. I'm not saying but I don't know if I would do ring and a date before you have that conversation
Well, I mean like to the point where you actually know that this is person some person that you're gonna go forward with
Yeah, right, you know because yeah, cuz that opens a whole door, you know, you understand
I'm just saying is wrong the longer you can keep that door closed
Is is better
For purity and actually getting to know each other and not having that
I I mean you're gonna always have your chemicals working
but like when you get that door open the chemicals seem to be a lot more and and your heads a little more swirly versus
on point
Yeah, did you want to say something Dave David? I
Was gonna say real quick that the issue is you can get really
Emotionally connected with someone super fast way way way way before you
Yeah, it's a danger yeah, yeah, especially
Especially if it's long distance or you haven't met them yet and you're falling through the trap of
Like texting too much, you know texting too much like every day or multiple times a day before you even have that first in date
Meeting like that's very very dangerous
Like that's where the emotional connection can like go at Mach 10
But like you barely even know the person yet, and that's very very dangerous. Yeah
Yeah, and you know, I don't know okay so you guys if you really like somebody like
You may not be a love bomber but they may feel love bombed and that might kill it
Does that does that make sense? Like when you build that?
I
Really steer away from trauma bonding I swear, you know, just like hey, what do you what are you doing?
Like you keeping it show and like I mean you can have those conversations once you kind of figure out
Yeah, Christopher Jesse welcome back we were just talking about you
So, how are you
Pretty good. Yeah tired today, but
We were down in Florida for a week with the family on a family vacation that was really a good time except my son
had to get his
Appendix removed in the middle of the trip, but besides that it was good
That's exciting
Excitement that we don't like right, you know, right
Yeah, so I'm gonna catch up with the conversation here. Cool
I'm gonna get on that away. So well, we were just talking about like how
The enemy tries to bring the foot like there's the Jezebel or there's the one that's not
Or the one that's kind which is even harder to say no to a lot of times right, you know
Kind and available right when you're like when you're looking at the you know
What you're not when there's nothing that is and you're like, hey, this would be really easy
You guys I could have been married a half a dozen times
in the last several years, right?
Two beautiful women, right?
But like, and you can do it.
You guys can do that, right?
But like, but we didn't have, we weren't,
we didn't have, what I love that Jackie says
is complimentary opposites, right?
I'm looking for somebody who's a complimentary opposite,
who is walking within the ministry like I am.
I mean, dude, I'm a full-time minister
without being a full-time minister.
I work full-time in tech, right?
But just, you guys, but if you find somebody
that actually fits for you, that's great too, right?
But I'm just saying like,
be the best you can be and figure out what you like.
Oh, here's a major thing.
You know, that's why Jackie wants you guys in the apps
and like doing some reps is to see what you want, right?
And then develop a list, develop a,
I mean, like, I'm not talking like God's gotta be first,
like, you know, like the things that matter,
not like, you know, she's six foot,
she's got this and that blonde.
That's not the list I'm talking about.
I'm talking about, hey, I like somebody who's like me,
for me personally, I need somebody who's intelligent,
like highly intelligent,
because I like to have crazy deep conversations.
And people, and if I can't,
I need to connect intellectually
as well as emotionally and physically.
So I need somebody who can actually,
I need somebody who's strong,
because I go through a lot, right?
And if somebody is not strong, they can't really support.
So like part of dating is this,
hey, Thomas, good to see you.
Part of dating is finding what you like and what you want.
And then if somebody comes along and they fit your top,
you're like, go, have some fun, right?
But if you don't have a list or a metric,
or, and I mean, like I said, everybody has a list.
I'm not talking about the list of,
I wanna, you know, like the worldly lists.
I'm talking about what you need, what you want.
Somebody who would be a great,
like I need somebody who is administrative,
because I suck at administration.
I'm great at coaching, I'm great at all that stuff,
but if you need to get a team on the field,
do not ask me.
So does that make sense?
Yeah, and just be careful,
because the enemy brings a lot of counterfeits.
You know, he knows your calling better than you do,
and he'll bring somebody that's great,
or seems great to keep you from getting there.
And that's why having, I also,
and you guys will hear me beat this drum quite often,
people in your circle.
Okay, you need people who hear from the Holy Spirit well,
in your core group.
I'm not saying like, you go to everybody in your circle,
like if there's 50 people, and you do a freaking pull.
The people who you have a track record with,
that hear from God, you trust, you develop a circle.
And I have a couple right now.
I mean, like I've had for like three years, right?
And they actually pushed me into something
that I didn't wanna be in.
So like, the other thing about making that circle
is come under their authority.
Because God, when you're in the dating realm,
you're not thinking clearly most of the time.
You know, and having somebody who loves you,
and is outside of it,
and hears from the Lord is really important.
So, does that make sense?
The circle thing, I just wanna comment real quick on that.
I have, like Jesus did, a circle of three,
and a circle of 12.
Yeah.
So, you know the three, Peter, John, and James.
Right.
So, depending on what issue I'm dealing with,
I may have a circle of three
that looks a little different, you know.
But yeah, I have a circle of three
that's walking this out with me at the moment.
That's amazing.
And so, see guys, that's super valuable, right?
I mean, I don't move, well,
for the most part, I'm submitted to authority.
I don't always like it, by the way.
Just, I just want you to know.
I mean, Jackie's a matchmaker and a matchbreaker,
and she broke a match once.
Because Jackie's also my authority, right?
You know, and it was somebody in the group.
So like, and that one sucked.
But I knew it was true, and I trusted her.
Does that make sense?
Like, you know, I'm not saying it's fun, right?
You know, hopefully it is.
And the other thing is, is this is not,
I know this is vomitous before I even say it.
Okay, Eli, I just want you guys,
I just want to understand this,
is
Um, I have a half a dozen people that I've said, Hey, if you, if there's somebody that
you think is a good match for me, you know, um, you have absolute power and I will, I
will in, in that.
And I will go on at least a date or two.
Right.
And so I, I've opened up my life to, that's why it's so, so powerful to be in community.
Right.
And you never know, you might meet, you know, okay, so, so can I, can I share a story?
So one of my best friends, right, his, she's, she's Brazilian, right.
Um, but like, he met her through another friend, like, he's like, Hey, I think you should meet
her.
He's like, yeah, no, I'm good.
Like, I'm so good.
Like, you know, I didn't know Brazilians or whatever.
Like, he just was like, all right.
And then one day he finally conceded it.
Right.
Well, he had a dream and he never met her, but it was of her.
And she had a dream of him.
You can call that unreal.
Right.
But like he, if he hadn't submitted, he never would have met her.
Right.
Like, and it's a wild God story.
Right.
Like, like, like, you know, I mean, not every story and I hope that's kind of a story for
you, but the whole thing is, is be under authority.
Listen, be the best you.
Right.
Um, I mean, like I had conversations with Jackie that I didn't want to have, you know,
I used to pay, you know, I paid her for coaching because I needed it.
Right.
You know, um, I don't know if she does that anymore because she's gotten really busy,
but this is several years ago.
Um, and you guys, that's why tonight, like if you guys have questions, I'm fully, I mean,
I mean, I'm kind of in a circle.
Well, I, I, you know, on that same lines, I was actually going to ask just the group
if you guys are farther along with me or behind, but, um, one of the things that they
challenged in that replay, um, and the dating 101 was to go on social media and post, Hey,
this is my, you know, if you've been hiding any girls out there, you know, uh, you know,
this is my last year single, you know, I'm, I'm ready, I'm looking for marriage.
And I was like, okay, that's a, that's a challenge.
Okay.
I tried to do it.
I tried to bring myself.
I tried to pray, but I tried to talk, but I can't, I can't, I, and this is no judgment
on everybody.
Do not hear judgment in my voice.
This is all me, but I can't bring myself.
I feel so just pathetic, like coming to the, to the altar of social media and being just
like, Oh, please, I'm, I'm desperate here.
It just, it feels like a desperation move for me.
And I don't know if that's, I'm thinking it's me.
I just don't know.
No, it's understandable.
Okay.
So did I tell you, I gave absolute power to like, that's five, sorry.
You know, my numbers and me there, I've, you know, there's a, there's several people.
Let's just say every single time, these are people who I know love me and have my best
interest.
Right.
Every single time I wanted to puke, I just have to tell you like when I gave them permission.
So Christopher and you guys, if you guys are struggling with that, how about this?
I've been like, would this be helpful?
Right.
I would, I mean, cause you go social, like pick people you trust on your Facebook, right.
And message them.
Don't post it on your, I mean like, you know, Jackie can Christify me.
That's okay.
But like, if you can't do it on your page, do it in messenger to select you.
Like take a baby step, take a jump, take a look, take a leap.
I know somebody, dude, most people meet through other people.
I mean, now it's apps, you know, but like most of the people that I talk to around,
right.
They, they, they met somebody through a barbecue or whatever.
And you know, and they ended up and I'm like, Lord, where is that?
I'm going to go to every barbecue and church meeting ever, you know, but you know, but
so Christopher, does that sound better?
Like just the select few that you trust versus I do broadcast to get like, Hey, I need a
date.
Like I could, I feel like how pathetic that sounds.
It doesn't feel very masculine, but you know, maybe, maybe the baby step would be, I need
to make a Facebook account because I'm on Instagram, been on Instagram, but I have been
on Facebook.
Well, no, do it on, do it on Instagram.
Yeah.
You can, you can message people.
Hey Thomas, what's going on?
What's shaking?
Oh, I was just going to ask you, Christopher, I really appreciate your sharing.
I'd love to hear what about it feels difficult.
Is it that it feels embarrassing for other people to know that you want to date?
Is it embarrassing?
Does it feel embarrassing to ask for help?
It's the, it's the, Hey, like.
I feel like a desperation move, like I'm just going to throw it out to the entire world
that could conceivably stumble across my social media, my Instagram account, like, hey, you
know, and I'm trying to do it with some humor.
I think that's the answer is I need to do it with some humor, so I'm like, hey, if you've
been hiding those single sisters, you know, maybe send them my way, you know, or something
like that.
That's great.
Well, I mean, different people will have different styles, I'm sure.
I feel like it's interesting to me that it feels desperate.
Can you help me understand, like, what about it feels desperate?
Like, again, is it is it that that you are like asking people for help?
Is it that you feel like only lame people put out their romantic business on social
media?
Like what?
What's what about it feels desperate?
If again, I asked first, no one should be feel judged by what I'm saying.
But capital P, in my mind is I struggle with pride.
And that has been a downfall of mine.
I know it's a downfall of mine.
I've been rebuked for it.
I've been healed from it.
I've been but you know, I know it's pride that it feels like, hey, you know, you've
been I mean, my wife died nine years ago.
So it's kind of like a I feel like it would it would go out there to some of my friends
who don't know me as well aren't as close to me I should say acquaintances because really
they're not friends.
And they're just like, God, he's not remarried yet.
My God, it's been nine years.
What has he been doing?
I mean, who can't get who can't manage to get another wife in nine years, but a decade.
So it's pride.
I know it's part.
So you're projecting judgment onto other people?
Yeah, exactly.
And yeah.
All right.
Look, I didn't invite you to this to bring me wisdom.
Okay.
I need you to sign on my BS.
Okay.
You know, that's not what this is about.
But but here.
Okay, you guys.
Sorry, I'm late.
Hey, that's all right.
So you guys.
Gosh, I'm so I see all these statistics and then I I'm ballparking.
Okay.
Right.
So if you're in like college, you have all these opportunities around you, right?
Because you're in classes with people, right?
After college, then you have work, which is not a great place.
You have minimal opportunities there, right?
So that's why apps have become like the major connecting point.
And I hate apps with a passion.
So just like, but like, it's not, you know, I remember back, like, if you were in college
and you couldn't find a date that, you know, like, you and I understand, I always felt
pathetic, right?
You know, like, in that era, because there were so many people available, and I just
couldn't bring myself to do things right.
But now, I mean, like, in my circle, I mean, there's 10, like, I mean, it's a lot of times
it's a numbers game, right?
That's why in any way you can increase your numbers, you get more opportunities, right?
And so it's not pathetic when there's no opportunity.
And Christopher, it's been eight and a half years, right?
Since my ex and I were done, right?
So I do feel, it feels dumb, like, you know, like, you know, to be honest, and it's like,
why should it feel dumb?
You know, in eight and a half years, I've grown a hell of a heck of a lot, right?
You know, and I've gotten ready.
So it's not pathetic to have waited and not have, I hadn't been on a date in like three
and a half years, and I'm in a matchmaking group.
Explain to me that, like, seriously, you want to talk about, like, pathetic, you know, and
I've been on a couple recently.
But like, so, and is it pride or is it fear?
Both?
Can it be both?
Why not both?
Yeah, don't kick us for me.
For me, it is both, right?
Yeah.
So like, it's, you guys, it's not about how long it's been, it's that you're back in the
game.
I'm actually interested in Jesse's take on this.
I know, I know what his story is.
I don't know.
Can you guys hear me okay?
Someone said I was muffled.
It's a little muffled.
Yeah, a little bit, yeah.
But I can hear you.
I think my, I have the wrong earbuds.
But why, like, I was gonna just ask you, Chris, like, I mean, I'm sure there's good reason,
or there is a reason why it has been nine years, and it's nothing, it's just the reality
of what it is, right?
I don't know what that reason is.
for you but it's just everyone has a different like story and everyone has a
different journey and that's just how your journey has taken you and it's
nothing to be ashamed about and I if it was me like I totally hear what you're
saying about being not willing to put that out there but if I were to put it
out there myself I think maybe I would just tell the story a little bit about
here's where I'm at and on my journey here's why like and now I'm ready I feel
ready to I wasn't ready before maybe you were I don't know like I don't know
what your backstory is but like just telling the story of why you're at where
you're at and here's where I'm at you know I maybe people enjoy hearing about
that you know you know that's your testimony really like what God's done in
your heart etc and I know part of it is I needed to the heart work needed to
happen you know I said it a few weeks ago where I was kind of reluctant and
then I realized I did have some more work to do not that I wouldn't have
been ready but I certainly would have had to go through some things and a
harder way than I would now if I meet my spirit mate now um have you dated at
all oh yeah yeah um I had I've actually the soul tie thing a bonus one in
hard work I had to kind of do some prayer about her because I'm I was ready
to ask her to marry me and when I when my god's been a few years now but she
wrecked me for about a year like I didn't date for a year after but yeah
no I've dated and I know there's people out there so it's not that I think you
and Tom have really um hit it on the head it's the projecting onto other
people and then you telling me like tell the story that actually just I think I
have it like this is why I brought it to you guys because I knew you guys have
good ideas and you would also call me out and I think I think that's what I'm
gonna do I popped in my head as soon as you said that I I think I have an
approach so that's good but it's amazing and you guys like you know I probably
heard said this a million times and I'll say it another million I always say I
have to fix the crazy in me so I'm not attracted to the crazy and others like
by doing the hard work so let me actually there's some new people in
for the context of that okay so it's like the broken parts of you right like
there's broken parts of you are drawn to the broken parts like they want to be
fixed they want to connect with somebody and that's why if somebody you come in
and you have this massive amount of attraction be careful because that could
be your brokenness is like like melding and like oh look I found my connection
point for my trauma right like you know and so most good love is a slow burn
it's not a for it's not a flash fire right but like as you get more healed
there were things that my ex loved on me right like so and I've had people love
on me recently and is nauseating to me because I got healed now had I not done
the heart work and got healed I would have been in the same stupid circle with
it you know like and and so I'm really proud of you guys for actually doing the
work right and you have you your picker is getting better with every heart work
that you do right and and you won't be attracted to the things that are not
good for you right you'll be like hey wait no she's trying to trauma bond and
she's trying to pull me into a soul tie you know well let's let's put a put some
boundaries on this and see if she listens open up she's that's the only
way she knows the connect well we need I need to disconnect because this isn't
right I don't want to dominate all the time here but I just do want to do a
word of encouragement for everyone here and that I am more excited about this
than I have been in a very long time I was extremely discouraged for years and
going through all this and even though I have not had a date since I started this
all but um but I've been doing a lot of the work and I'm kind of excited about
it whereas before it was just like it honestly felt like I was gonna sign up
for a second job where I'm just like all right let's go dig for a wife you
know let's um go through and and message 60 girls and get three of them message
me back and it'll be it'll be fantastic let's fire up bumble again and and I but
I'm more encouraged by by what I'm hearing from you guys and stuff
So it has been encouraging in that way.
And I just want to encourage people that way.
And to reflect what you said, Mike, I
think that those of us who have had successful relationships,
because my wife is great.
And I do have a better idea of what
that looks like in my life.
And so it's difficult. But instead of feeling like, oh,
I'm never going to find a girl that I would want to marry
that's going to be a caliber of someone I want to marry,
having been in a marriage, a successful marriage,
now I'm more of the, there's so many great girls out there.
Why did I, why was I so negative about all of this?
Yeah.
Well, and the cool thing is, is you're
like part of a community where there's all these ones that
are being, that are marriage minded and are hearing,
and there's a commonality because they're
hearing the same, they're going through the same things.
They're going through the same process.
They're in the same group.
They're in the same community.
And a lot of, and they're vetted, right?
You know, I mean, like, that's the crazy thing.
And it's like, what, like 11 to 1 ratio or something
stupid like that?
Like, you know, like, it's a, like, dude, it's like fishing.
It's like fishing at the fishery, right?
You know, like, you know, it's, you know, and so, but no.
And Christopher, to your point, like, yeah, having been,
I mean, I was married for almost 20 years, you know,
so I learned a lot in that.
And that's kind of why I try to share some things,
but I look back at where I missed going into it, right?
But I'm glad that you have hope.
I mean, I hope you all have hope, you guys.
I do, and I got, and I renewed it.
Sweet, that's amazing.
It's okay if I share it, or you got it.
So what do you, what do you share?
What do you, what do you want to share, Hunter, your hope?
Yeah, it's been 17 years.
I made a goal, a goal to marry.
And then finally, I watched a video about,
about some woman trying to wait for her husband.
And she tried to wait and she kept crying,
thinking, God, you left me, you forgot about me.
But then she came, someone came to her and said,
you know, what if God says that it's not my will
for you to marry, will you still follow me?
Yeah, and yeah, because if not,
then that means you made it an idol, and so on.
So she kept doing that, and she was too bitter
about being single that she looked at all the other people,
exhausted people who are married.
Some say, husband isn't there for the kids,
or he's not, I don't get to see if they felt trapped,
or that's, or they felt trapped,
or they thought marriage was going to be all honeymoon,
24 seven, or maybe I guess, I guess we were not happy
because of this, am I not happy based on circumstance,
or my husband's not letting me to the degree
I want him to, that sort of thing.
So she goes, yeah, you know, her,
why am I, marriage doesn't make you complete.
So she goes out and make herself complete.
And then she goes, she stops praying for her husband,
and then some guy comes along saying, I'll marry you,
but remember, I'm not your savior, Jesus is,
but she, I'm just someone helping you along,
I'm just a close friend, companion,
your close companion along the way to help you.
Yeah, well, I mean, if you're taking the place of Jesus,
that's, that relationship's never going to work,
but no, like in both your lives, but yeah, no,
and another story that just comes to mind, okay.
Can I finish?
So what, oh, you weren't, okay,
so yes, finish up, Connor, sorry.
I've been like this since 20 as a goal
to go make it happen, and I was,
though I was open to growth on how to obtain it,
because I always wanted to be a man
and grow like everybody,
a form of growing up like a person,
and that sort of, so I figured,
I want to marry as a firm sign
that I can be grown up like everybody.
That's what you want to do in high school
when you get out of high school and go to college,
you want to be grown up and do stuff
rather than lolly and idle.
But you know what, and I said, God, help me,
if not, I'm not worshiping you,
because you're nothing but a big piece
of medieval superstition, that's how I saw it then.
But nowadays, I, this last week,
I just shattered this whole thing.
I'm not, I'm going to abandon the goal.
My goal is to grow, but it's not to go make it happen,
because to go make it happen is just me going out
and trying to make it happen,
call upon God to pray to God to rubber stamp my plan.
But really, it should be the other way around.
No, I mean, Jesus is the goal,
and if he brings somebody, great, right?
And it really is, dude, I have to say,
like, it is easy to make relationships and idle.
Just being honest, you know?
Like, if you're, I'm thinking about apps and stuff
more than I'm thinking about my relationship with Jesus,
you know what I mean?
Like, and it's easy to get down there,
and then I constantly am laying things on the altar.
I mean, but it's just interesting,
in the right time, right?
So for,
So last week, Renee was on and she's like, Mike, I just see your wife being an hour and
a half away.
Right.
So, um, which, so I had, uh, I, I, it stood out to me.
And so then I had a choice and I do, I don't know about you, but I hate apps.
Right.
So I was like, you know, if she's an hour and a half away, I think I need to get back
on the apps.
Right.
And so, um, so I did.
And yesterday I connected with somebody who was an hour and a half away.
That is everything I'm looking for.
And so, um, I'm like, Laura, this is you.
Great.
That's amazing.
But like I listened and I got on the apps, even though I didn't want to, and made the
profiles on seven of them.
Um, and, uh, well, you know, um, there's not a lot of people in my area, well, there's
a lot of people, but not a lot of, um, quality like Christian ladies.
Um, there's nobody in the group that's really in our, like in Jackie's group, that's in
my area either.
Did you get on the holy app, Mike?
Yeah.
That's actually where I connected with her.
Um, and I got on ARC too, cause we're, um, we're, uh, whatever partnered with them or
Jackie.
I actually really liked ARC and I really like holy, right.
I'm on upward as well.
Holy is good.
There's not many people in there, but I like the quality of people.
The quality.
I'm serious.
So are these, are these apps a holy ARC?
Yeah.
I've never heard of it.
ARC.
Yeah.
I got holy.
But the problem is I see more Christians who aren't surrendered and they're using the app
as a technical device to manipulate and make happen.
Which app?
Dating ARC.
The ARC.
Okay.
I, on the holy app, the first question that they ask is, who is Jesus to you?
Yeah.
And it's, it's completely like a separate app.
It's not connected to anything else.
Yeah.
They vet, they vet the people that come on there.
Like you put your information on, it doesn't go live for a day.
So they can verify like what you said and make sure you're putting good pictures up
and not like, yeah.
Yeah.
Garbage.
No.
And like, I have to say, you know, I don't have a ton of people in my area, but all the
ones that were on the app were pretty solid.
Right.
Like, you know, like, you know, well, cause it's hard to know what, like if you're on
Bumble or you're on Hinge or you're on other things, you don't know just because they say
Christian.
I mean, most of them aren't.
Right.
But you know, like you actually have answers to like biblical questions.
You're like, oh, so you could tell if they're even like theologically similar in some ways,
you know?
And so, yeah.
No, Jesse, I really, that's, that's, that's who I've connected with.
I got one on Upward and one on, on Holy, on Holy.
Nice.
And Holy, they let you message as much as you want.
Oh yeah.
That's the other thing, you know, I paid for it just because I wanted to support them,
but like.
Yeah.
It's not much.
It's hardly anything.
You know?
Yeah.
But you can write whoever you want all the time.
No extra charge.
Yeah.
So you guys, like, um, I guess I just shared that story because, I mean, I had a decision
and like, I honestly, I have to say, I wrestled with getting back on the apps cause I absolutely
hate them with the passion.
And then I got on Bumble and it's horrible.
Right.
And I'm like, man, I'm like, I'm done.
I'm like so done.
But then somebody mentioned Holy.
So, you know, I was, I forgot about Holy.
I used to be on it.
Right.
Um, years ago.
And then, um, but I really do like what they're doing on Holy.
So I, if you, even if you guys got on, just got on Holy or, um, Arc this week and got,
you know, work on your profile, um, like you never know, like I said, but it would have
never happened.
I mean, when, when, when she said an hour and a half away, I was like, oh, that means
I'm like, there's no way I'm going to connect with anybody an hour and a half away on anything
but a dating app.
Right.
So I gave the Lord an opportunity to connect.
Right.
Um, you know, and so I just share that because take, take a swing.
I mean, if you, if, if what you're doing isn't working, change the game.
Right.
Like, you know, if you want a different outcome, change what you're doing.
So, um, and you know, you guys are all amazing and I'm super thankful for you all.
Um, any other wins or anything?
So, so I'm excited.
Um, we'll see.
She came at me pretty hard.
She's a nurse, you know, cause I said, we have a lot in common.
She's like, do we?
And I'm like, wow, freaking kitty cat time.
I was like, I say, um, well, let me rephrase that.
You know, we have some things in common from what I know, cause I know I don't know you,
but I really want to get to know you better.
Right.
Like, but I like fire kittens.
Like, I'm like, oh, she's got, she's got some spunk and she's smart.
Right.
So like, you know, but you guys, you can't get better at apps unless you're on them.
Right.
And you know, I.
Tell you I'm do not ask me for any dating like like talk to any like I will not be the app and
The dating guru. I if you guys have relational questions and that kind of stuff
I will do that, but I'm still learning more on the apps
okay, so it's
Holy
And
Holy you have to have iOS Apple. Oh, is it?
Yeah
Holy is done by a couple
If I remember right and like they yeah, it's a married couple. They met on apps. I think there's something like that. Yeah
And and an arc, I don't know. I mean Jackie mentioned that there was a
That we're partnering with them. So we might you might actually get a
Discount
Hearing I don't know where to go for the discount, but I don't either
Okay, holy I lost oh it did
Yeah
You know, it's going to just absence that are the single cities thing. Is that still a thing we do? Yes, we do
Yeah, well, it depends on where you're at. Like I'm in Rio Vista, which is 15 minutes outside of Sacramento
So you either you would be the Reading one. Let's go. Let's just go one's fledgling
Like it's it just it was as a few hours away from me. I would
well
Reading reading has quite a bit
You know, I've been to the Reading one several times, right?
Yeah, cuz it's it says Reading sack. So I was like, uh, could I do so? Okay, so you guys understand that the
They're regional. They're not like
Like so yeah, they're like within three hours of each other
I think is what Jackie says like so I'm on both SF Bay and Reading and I'm four hours from writing
Right, you know and so
And I and I've been to the Reading one several times. I have some friends in that so
Any questions you guys is this helpful like, you know, like I know we kind of talked about a lot of things
But like you guys are doing great. Keep doing your heart work. Yeah
Keep getting you guys the best you can be
Get ready get ready for somebody in your life
you know, I'm not I
Think I hate people say this like I like it's some formula and I don't think God's formulaic like this
like when you get ready show I'm
God I'll bring somebody into your life
right, like I
Think God will bring it people into your life whether you're ready or not
I've seen a lot
I mean you got to be close right because a lot of times in the growing together is what bonds you
Right, like, you know, I mean, you know most like they're everybody who's on this call
You guys aren't 20 year olds that I'm happy that I'm gonna have to
Right, but you guys are all established studs that have had some life skills and you're you're not
you're looking for a partner now not what you know, and so that gives you guys you have a
Maturity about you. Well, I hope so, you know, you know
Yeah, oh
Good job. Yeah, go to the Facebook account, right?
Okay. Oh, oops. Sorry. I just lost lost you. I hate my phone sometimes but you guys just take a swing
You miss a hundred percent of the shots. You don't take you guys I have probably
400
Messages out right now. I was on seven apps. Okay, so I'm an overachiever
You know, I mean well and and honestly you guys got to realize do not be discouraged because a lot of I was on the
Apps two years ago, right and I see a lot of the same profiles and they haven't been on for two years
I could tell you two years, right? So if you're messaging somebody, you know, see if they've been on recently
There'll be like sometimes there's like a check mark or something on it, right or I'll say on recently
So don't be like, oh my gosh, she's amazing. And really, you know, some of those are old
I've seen a lot of old profiles, you know, so
Just take swings and give the Lord a chance you could you know, give me the Lord's seeds to water
Right, but like I say the gal who connected with me she sought me out
right
You know, and so and she's an hour and a half away, which still blows my mind. I googled it
She's like I've been conquered I'm like, oh, but you know, listen to the people around you empower them to help
Listen to the good people around you
right and power them to be
Code like, you know, like maybe them at your maybe your matchmaker is one of your friends, right?
You know like you never know
so
Lord Jesus, I thank you for all these men. I just pray Lord that
They would take the next step whatever that
That you would reveal the next step and that they would take it Lord
I just pray for their spirit mates whether it be in last year single or wherever Lord
Would you just get their hearts minds and spirits ready and their spirit mates hearts mind ready and Lord?
I just pray that this would be a season of
intersecting where
They would actually run across their spirit mates and Lord is you say seek your kingdom and everything else will be added unto us
So Lord, we just hey Lord we put you first. We seek your kingdom. We want to delight ourselves in you
Would you work out the whole spirit mate thing while we pursue you Lord in Jesus name? Amen
You guys are all amazing
Great talk. I never know where we're gonna go right like but you know, it's good to see you and
Jesse and Chris and David and
You know, it'll be cool
When you're like, hey, I met her right, you know, like we all get to go
And
Rejoice and you know, it doesn't matter how long you've been out of the game. It just matters that you get back in
All right, so blessings to you all
Talk to you later. Yeah