Hello. Welcome. Good evening. Welcome back for another Monday Night Heartwork session.
So glad to be here with all of you tonight. Anyone else want to come on camera with Lisa
and I tonight? We want to invite you. We want you to have fun with us here on camera. Y'all,
you're going to hear me just keep saying that to you over and over and over again. Welcome.
Welcome to the Heartwork and to this sisterhood journey. That's what I'm going to kind of
call it tonight as well. For new ladies, I think I recognize everyone's names, but as
more people join, I'll kind of circle back to that to make sure we can grab everyone.
I want to encourage you all just as a reminder how important it is to take extra rest time
during the Heartwork. Your body is processing all kinds of stuff, things that you've been
through in the past, as well as things that you're processing now. And so it's really
important to get extra rest. Really consider going for a light walk. I'm not talking about
heavy cardio right now because again, your body needs to process those toxins that are
getting released from the emotional processing. You need to process, like your body needs
to get that stuff out. And so really important to, even if it's just a couple of times a
week ladies, because sometimes we don't do it at all because we're like, where am I going
to fit it in? But let's just move our body a little bit this week. Get some extra rest
when you need it. Because again, some of y'all are doing some heavy lifting in the
Heartwork right now. And so that'll be a good rest break this week. Just as a friendly reminder
for those of you that are newer in the course, if you've not heard us say this, we just kind
of reiterate this every couple weeks. These are a couple best practice tips that we give
for everyone in this community that is in the Heartwork. We encourage you to press pause
on dating. Okay. So completely pressing pause on trying to date or interact with men on
the app, meeting them in person. You can actually say hello to guys, but we're just asking you
not to try to make a romantic connection at this time. Because y'all are, Heartwork, you
got stuff all over the place. Okay. So your discernment and your picker are going to be
kind of out of whack, if you will. And so we want you to go through the Heartwork to
take the time for your heart to heal so that your picker really isn't broken. It's just
that your kind of counterfeit identities are leading you in directions that are not good
for you. And so allowing yourself this time to heal, to process, and then later on in
one of our other phases, you'll be introduced to our levels of dating and all of that kind
of stuff where we coach you on healthy dating. But for now, we want you to focus on the Heartwork.
And we encourage one week of content per week. If you can't do that much, it's okay,
but we don't want you to go faster than that. And even for some of you, I put a response
up in someone's post today, like sometimes it can feel like, whoa, there's still so much
to unpack and process. There's been a lot coming up and just not sure what to do with
that. The reality is you might just need a little more time. You might need more than
five weeks here in the Heartwork. We don't want you to stay forever because we don't
think that's healthy for you either. But the reality is, is you might need a few more
weeks just for white space. Now that you've kind of been working through the homework
and all the things to continue to process things that were coming up. Some of you all
might want to go back and re-listen to videos or reread a little bit of the book. I remember
doing that in the Heartwork and I was really glad that I did. I watched the Soul Ties session,
I think like two or three times just while I was in the Heartwork. And every time I listened
to it, God was showing me something new that I hadn't seen before. And so again, I want
to encourage you all, you know, I think that's highly beneficial. Now for some of you, we
want you to make sure that you're continuing to work on the Heartwork work, like the course
work and to move on out of phase one. Some of you all have been here a long time and
you're not even like into week two of the Heartwork course. Now we're not upset with
you. Okay, that doesn't even happen here. But the reality is, is that we don't want
you to be in the ICU forever. Okay? And some of you are coming to the live sessions, which
I'm so excited that you're here, but then you're not doing the work. And so we want
there to be a both end. We want you to really get the benefit of the live sessions, but
also the benefit of doing the work, watching the videos, reading the book, doing the homework.
I have noticed some of you are turning in your activations and that's so exciting. And
I feel like you are starting to kind of move forward. And if that's you, you know who you
are and I'm cheering you on. We are cheering you on. This is going to be a great process.
It's not always easy, but you all, it's going to be worth it. So hang in there. Don't give
up. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. For some of you, if you have a
lot of, you know,
really depressing moments, not just a momentary thing,
but you kind of live in depression.
Want to highly recommend you looking into a counselor
in addition to getting this coaching in here.
Sometimes we all just need a little bit more support in those kind of things.
All right. So welcome to our new ladies.
Anyone here new for the first time tonight?
You've never been here for a live session before.
Want you to put that in the chat for us so that we can welcome you.
Welcome back to all of our other ladies that are joining again tonight.
Supernatural Saturday. Also, if y'all didn't check it out,
every promise comes with a process. It's not a popular message.
It's really not a lot. Jackie said, she's like, I don't think they,
I don't think they liked that message, but here's the thing.
The reality is, is it, there's always a process to everything.
There's a process to getting married. Once you meet your spirit mate,
you plan a wedding and you're doing all the things and, you know,
you get engaged and then you're making plans for, you know, a house or whatever,
whatever life brings you. And so let's just accept the process,
even if it doesn't feel good and really allow God to do what he wants to do in
that process so that we can move forward. Okay.
Francis Guyana, is that in? Okay. I'm not, y'all,
I'm not geographically great. Is that in Africa?
Just tell me in the chat, help me out here. Um, but welcome.
If you've never met me before South America, that's awesome.
God is bringing people from all over the world and I love it.
It's great to meet you. All right.
Roberta says she's going to jump on camera when she's not driving.
For those of you that weren't here when we first started, I was like, Hey,
who else is going to, at the time it was just Lisa and I on camera.
I said, who else is going to join us on camera tonight?
And we have some more joining us.
Would love to have you come on camera as well.
I was starting to say that I'm Bethany Cooper.
I am one of the Master Hardware coaches here in the community.
I do a lot of other things with Last Year Single.
So you'll be seeing me around if you stick along with us in the community
beyond phase one. And I'm going to go ahead and pray.
We have a lot to cover tonight for those of you that have been here before,
or maybe you've been here. What I mean by that is like,
maybe you've been around for a little while. You've heard this message before,
but I hope tonight that new connections are made for you in the spirit.
I do believe that that is 100% possible.
So praying that for all of you and we'll go ahead and dive in after I pray.
Father, thank you so much for this night. God,
I thank you for the revealings for healing that are going to take place that are
even right now in the spirit realm happening. God,
we thank you for divine connections. We thank you for redirection. God,
thank you for taking our feet off of pathways of pain and leading us back to a
pathway that leads to life and to the fullness of everything you originally
created and designed for us long before trauma or wounds ever entered our life.
God,
we thank you that you would help us to hear what your spirit is saying tonight
louder than any other voice, calm anxieties, calm distractions.
Yes, Lord, we thank you that you would remove fear from the room. God,
I thank you that you would help us to lean in, lift our hearts up,
lift our heads up. God, I thank you that, um,
that we will look up to where our help comes from.
It comes from the maker of heaven and earth. Nothing is too hard for you. God,
I thank you that when we feel overwhelmed, we don't have to stay there. Lord,
we can just surrender all of that to you and allow you to encourage us and lift
us up and help us to keep moving forward. We thank you God for breakthrough,
for supernatural acceleration and our healing processes.
And we just thank you God that you're going to do great things tonight in Jesus
name. Amen. All right. So tonight we're doing the heat, uh,
revealing for healing cycle. And as we start to talk about that,
I want to remind you all that we cannot replace the events that happen in our
lives. We can't go back. We can't change what's happened.
We can't change what other people have done to us.
We can't change the things that we've done,
but what we can do is replace the lies that we've believed as a result of those
things. All right. I'm going to say it again.
What we can replace are the lies that we believed as a result of those things
and those events, those traumatic things, hard decisions,
maybe not good decisions that, you know,
we made or other people made that harmed us.
And so we're going to walk through the actual revealing for healing cycle
tonight. I'm going to go ahead and bring it up on my screen so you can see it.
Welcome to those that are continuing to join tonight.
It's going to be a good night. All right.
Can you all see that up on the screen? Everyone see that? All right.
I'm going to reduce it just so the whole thing. Give me one sec.
I just got to wait for this thing to disappear here. There we go. Okay.
I think that's good. All right. So you all have this worksheet.
You got this when you joined, it was under the welcome area.
It's also, I think in week three of your content,
I want to encourage you all to keep this handy for your path of life. Okay.
So.
No matter how long you're here in our program,
that you would hopefully use this to help you process things
that happen throughout your life,
including the things that come up, you know,
from the past that the Lord is like,
hey, you know, sometimes we'll get a dream,
we'll have a dream and it'll just remind us of things
that still need process.
Sometimes it's just in the daytime or something kind of,
you know, I call it gurgle up,
kind of bubble up to the surface, if you will.
And sometimes it's just very quick.
It's something that we have a knowing of,
and hopefully that will happen a little more for you tonight.
We typically encourage people to start
with the negative emotions when we go through this process.
But what I want you to understand is
this isn't about rules tonight, okay?
Revealings for healing are not always like cut and dry.
They're always gonna happen in this specific process.
We're just saying this is a tool that you can use
to identify some of these things.
For some of you, you're gonna know the trauma stories
before you know the actual emotions
you have connected to those things, okay?
So don't get worried if you're like,
I don't know what my emotion,
I don't even know what I feel.
I don't even know what I think about what I feel.
You know, just don't get hung up in all that.
Just allow yourself to recognize what you're,
like notice what you're noticing, if you will.
And then if your first thing is that trauma story
versus the negative emotion,
what I try to encourage people to do
is go backwards then before you go forwards, okay?
And I'll talk a little bit more about that tonight.
But I really want y'all just to breathe.
This isn't like, it's just like healing and grief,
like grief is just different for everybody.
Revealings for healing happen
in different ways for everybody.
For some of you, you've been out of touch
with your emotions for so long
that you don't even know sometimes
what your emotions specifically are.
And that can even be the case
for people that are very emotional.
The reality is, is sometimes we cannot identify
what really the root emotion is.
We might know that we feel angry.
We might know that we're crying.
We might know, you know, that we feel sad.
But what if there's other layers
of emotions underneath of that?
A lot of times we don't recognize those right away.
All right?
So as we go through this,
what I'm going to do tonight,
and everybody's story is different.
Hopefully the things that I share tonight don't trigger you.
If they do, just make some notes down
because there probably is a reason it's triggering you
if it does, okay?
And if that's the case, you can come into the group.
We'll coach you through that.
But I'm gonna use some of my story tonight
and I'm gonna walk through the revealing for healing cycle
in hopes that it helps you all start
to identify some different things in your lives
that connect in similar ways, okay?
So for example, I'm gonna start out with negative emotion.
One of the biggest emotions I battled throughout my life
and still I feel like the enemy still tries
to come in the back door with a lot is fear.
A lot of people don't even think about the fact
that fear is actually an emotion.
It's not just a belief system.
It's not just a thought that we have.
It's an actual emotion that we feel, okay?
Remember that fear is false evidence appearing real,
but it is an emotion that the enemy often comes in
and will just try to put his finger right on that.
But if you will, I had not just fear in general,
but tonight I'm gonna talk about a specific fear,
fear around men.
So for some of you, if you battle a lot of fear,
you might wanna look at what are the different layers
of fear that you battle?
So one of my other layers is I had a lot of fear
of the dark, okay?
So fear of men and fear of the dark,
two massive ones for me.
And I had to do the revealing for healing cycle
on both of those.
So even though they're both fear related,
they both have different trauma stories associated
with them, even though they also kind of intermingled
a little bit, all right?
So my emotion that I'm talking about tonight
is fear around men.
Painful memory, the way I like to describe this,
because a lot of people be like,
well, what's the difference between painful memory
and a trauma story?
I like to describe it like the painful memory
is kind of like the umbrella,
the overarching concept, if you will,
that the trauma stories, it's like the handle
of the umbrella is a trauma story.
That feeds up into that overarching thing.
So for example, for me, one of my painful memories
is I was abused by men.
So that's the overarching theme, if you will,
the overarching painful memory.
And then a trauma story for me, again, it's that handle.
It's the thing that's the spokes up under the umbrella
that hold that top thing up.
And so when I started breaking this.
down. It's not just, you know, oh just men are abusive. I actually had trauma stories that
were informing my painful memory and my fear. Here are some of them. I was sexually abused by
my brothers. I was also sexually abused by my sister, but for whatever reason I had more fear
of men than I did women. And this will all make sense the more that I unpack this stuff for you.
My dad, while I never saw him be abusive, he was an alcoholic and drug addict and there was just
kind of always this fear around my dad. And so that connects into that fear around men as well.
My dad was always kind of elusive and when he was home I saw him passed out a lot and that was
scary for me. And actually I don't think I've ever said that during one of these sessions and it just
came up in my spirit tonight to connect that aspect regarding my dad. When I got married the
first time, unfortunately my counterfeit identity led me to meet someone that was also very abusive.
He was abusive mentally, emotionally, like in every way. When I say that, a lot of people don't talk
about spiritual abuse, but it absolutely happens on a regular basis. Physically abusive. Now he
didn't thankfully hit me and some people might be like, well that's not as bad what he did. But what
he did is he paced a lot. He would get really loud and he would talk about killing himself and killing
other people and he would throw things. He locked me out of my house and so a lot of those people
don't realize that is all physical abuse related, even though he never physically laid hands on me.
Because it had to do with my physical environment and not feeling safe around him. And for example
him locking me out of my house when he was mad, those kind of things. And so for those of you
that maybe have never had someone tell you that those are also physical abuse, I'm just trying to
help you understand that none of that is okay treatment. Okay, all right, so that fed into it as well.
I also, when I was unpacking this, a couple things that came up for me. I had two incidences. One when
my mom took us to, back in the day there was home interiors parties and she took us to someone's
house for one of those parties, my sister and I. And we were upstairs, all the kids were sent upstairs
to play and we were playing up there. I literally don't remember if I even knew these people,
honestly. But there was a boy there that was very, I don't know how much older than he was for me,
but he very much was trying to get me by myself in a room to the point that he shut the door and
put a dresser in front of it. My sister literally pushed the door down to get me out of there.
And nothing happened, praise the Lord. I don't think we ever went back to that place. I don't
even know what happened when we went downstairs. All I remember is that clip of the story.
Another time, years later in high school, my so-called best friend, she was supposed to be my
best friend at the time, she thought it would be funny to put this ball down my shirt and she
shoved me in the bathroom and then told one of the guys that was at the hangout that it was his goal
to get the ball. Well, I wasn't informed of any of this, number one, was not okay with me. So he
comes in thinking like, oh, it's funny, it's funny. No, it wasn't funny. And I freaked out
and it was a whole thing. I got really embarrassed. I got out of the bathroom. He didn't do anything
to hurt me, but he literally thought he was playing a game because my friend called it a game.
I didn't feel like it was a game and that was traumatic for me. And so again, just trying to
help you guys see all the different ways, all of these things, and there's more, but I just wanted
to give you a couple tonight. Those are all things that fed into the story that I have to be afraid
of men. Okay. And that I am abused by men as my painful memory. All right. The lies I believed,
we're going to keep going around the revealing for healing cycle. And there's way more than this,
but I'm just giving you two tonight. Lies believed are revealed. One of the lies I believed,
all men are abusive. I can even throw in there tonight, even thinking about that, you know,
the guy in high school, I was friends with him, you know, that all men don't know how to have
boundaries. You know, like they're just, I really had a lot of negative thoughts about men.
Lie number two, I need to be afraid of men because they are not safe. Okay. Well, the reality is,
here's the flip side of that. My grandfather, which was a man, he was a man. He was a man.
My dad's dad was like a father to me and I felt very safe around him.
He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man.
I loved being with him and I did have other, you know, good examples of men in my life.
It just, you know, there's a lot of times when we believe the lie and we have these trauma stories
that are constantly feeding the lies because they're not healed because our emotions aren't
actually healed, right? It just starts to live in there and we partner with that and it grows
and it grows and it grows. All right, so in our community one of the big things and, you know,
I think churches do do their best to try to talk to us about the lies but and that we're supposed
to just believe the truth and have declarations. I think a lot of churches do that really, really
well, but here's the thing. If you don't know what the actual root lie is, you can make a declaration
all day long, but if you don't know the truth to replace the lie in your life, the root lie that
you believe because of the emotion and the trauma and all these other things and your heart isn't
healed, well, we can declare all day long, but if our heart isn't healed, we're not gonna, we're not
gonna feel that transformation on the inside. Remember a declaration, that's something we're
saying out of our mouth. We hear it, right, but it's outward. We need stuff that's changed on the
inside so that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth is speaking and sometimes, you know, the
world be like, just fake it till you make it. No, let's just get our hearts healed and actually
believe the truth instead of the lie and live out of a place of rootedness and love, which is the
opposite in my case of fear. Perfect love casts out all fear, so I had to grow in my understanding
of God's love and his truth and so some of the truths that I want to give you tonight, I'm going
to go ahead and stop my screen share for right now. I just wanted you guys to see that while I was
talking through it and again, I have more truths, but here are just a few of them to help you if you
are relating to this in some way tonight. You don't have to fear or be afraid, so that was one of my
truths. I don't have to live in fear. I don't have to be afraid of all men or any men
unless they're unhealthy men, but I don't have to be afraid of them. I need to be aware of them.
I need to have healthy boundaries with them. Do you see the difference? The enemy a lot of times
tries to use intimidation with me as well, which often partners with fear, so he sends people with
these intimidating spirits to try to say or do things to even now still today intimidate me to
get me to back down from being who God has called me to be. Hence when I preach and it's on our
social media page and men will tell like make all these comments, not a bunch of men, but a couple
about how women aren't supposed to preach and they just are they're talking out of context.
They don't even know what they're talking about, but this is this is how the spirit of intimidation
will try to keep coming back, but we can tell it where to go. All right, Isaiah 41 10 says,
So do not fear for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen
you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Let's just let's just think
about that for a second. God is basically saying like, hey, you don't have to be afraid because I'm
with you and not only am I with you, but I'm I'm lifting you up with my hand. Y'all that means he's
pretty close to us. He's pretty close to us if he's lifting us up with his righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41 13 says, for I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand. There's the right
hand again and says to you do not fear. I will help you. I will help you. The right hand is often
a sign of fellowship, y'all. It's a sign of fellowship. So I want you to see the level of
connection that God is like establishing when he's telling us these things. He's not just saying
don't be afraid. He's saying I am with you. Like I'm close to you. I'm in fellowship with you.
That's how he wants to be with us. All right, here's my truth number two. I can trust God to
protect me. And a lot of times the kickback I might get on this, and this is a real thing.
Some of you all are walking through this right now. What do we do when in the physical realm
there are people that are not treating us well right now? Maybe it's verbally what they're
saying. Maybe physically what they're doing. We have some women in our community that are
taking care of their moms and their moms are just like really mean. I'm just going to put it out
there. And they're having to deal with this because they're their caregivers. Now we walk
people through that, but I want you to understand it doesn't mean that God isn't trying to protect you.
Just like when I was a kid, I do think God was trying to protect me.
I think that my mom wasn't paying attention.
And I love her, but I think she just was checked out.
And I think that there were a lot of things that God was doing to try to help protect me from what was happening in my home.
When I look back, like so many things, I can see the ways God was trying to protect me.
And so a lot of times we partner with the lie that God really didn't care about us.
Because if he did, why didn't he just stop them from abusing us?
This is real stuff we deal with, right?
But here's the reality.
God loves everybody.
And he gives us free will to choose.
Everybody has free will to choose out of the goodness of his love of the way he created us to be.
Because he is not a dominator, right?
Remember, we choose to allow him to enter our hearts and our lives.
We choose to respond when he stands at the door of our heart and he's knocking.
We get to give him permission to enter our hearts and our lives.
So he doesn't force his way on anybody.
And unfortunately, with that free will, some people choose to do evil things.
Okay?
But the great thing about some of this, all of this, is God takes all of that,
what he doesn't intend for evil, just like Genesis 50, 20 talks about,
just like Joseph's story, you know, God never intended for those things to happen for Joseph.
But he absolutely took them and he turned all of that around for good,
not only to save Joseph, but to save many people alive.
I don't believe God intended any of these things to happen to me.
But I'm so grateful that God has given me an opportunity to heal
and to share my story to help other people.
There is purpose in my pain because I've given it to him.
And so I want to encourage you all to come out of alignment with the lie
that God didn't love you because, you know, if he did, he would have protected you,
would have stopped them from, you know, mishandling the money
or whatever the situation was.
He would have stopped them from cheating on you.
Well, everybody has a choice because he loves all of us.
They chose, or you chose, if it was you as the offender,
but God has great forgiveness.
His grace is big. It's available to all of us.
And don't we want grace and forgiveness? We do, right?
So then why would we believe it's not available to someone else?
You know, and back in the day, you all, I wanted vengeance.
I did, if I'm being completely honest.
I didn't understand a lot of this back then.
But praise the Lord, I learned, and God says vengeance is his, it's not mine.
And he'll deal with those situations and those people how he sees fit.
Psalm 121, verse 7 and 8 says,
Both now and forevermore.
I was in worship this past Sunday, and this was so,
it was just one of those moments like, yes, God, I believe.
But he asked me a question.
He said, do you believe that I have your back?
And like, I do, I was like, right away, I was like, yeah, Lord, I do.
And he's like, Bethany, do you really believe that I have your back?
And, you know, sometimes God, when he asks you those questions,
it's just like an automatic yes, but the reality is,
there were some areas where I was starting to feel like God didn't have my back.
And he was trying to show me those things during worship,
because he wanted me to remember that he always has my back.
Even when the enemy comes in like a flood, what does the word say?
The word says that God will raise up a standard against him.
That he will cause our enemies to flee seven ways.
God is my defender. God is your defender.
He wants to fight for us, but we have to give him permission to do so.
The heart is a womb.
We're going to talk about this very briefly before I get you all ready for a breakout session.
As a reminder, I started building on this last week.
You know, everything that goes into our heart is going to get reproduced.
Remember, the heart is a womb.
We talked last week about the heart being a pretender.
You know, it's a liar.
And then a puzzle, you know.
So we have all this stuff going on in our hearts,
and we have to remember that what we allow to get planted in there is going to get reproduced.
So if we believe the lie, for example, in my life, that I have to be afraid of all men.
Well, what's going to get reproduced?
I'm going to be afraid all of the time of men.
And so I have to come out of agreement with those...
those lies even though there are a lot of things in my life that told me that
that was true. The enemy came every single one of those times without me
even realizing it and he was like see men are bad men are bad men are bad you
cannot be safe with men you have to be afraid and you all so many times I
partnered with anxiety and fear because I just didn't know any better so I'm
gonna encourage you to come out of agreement and alignment with fear
tonight with anxiety with panic with worry whatever maybe your emotion is
disappointment maybe it's you know depression coming out of other things
depression really is you know a result of other emotions but you know a lot of
people experience a lot of depression you know David spoke to his own spirit
when he was feeling downcast oh my soul well I imagine that had to be like you
know David was an emotional guy he had the ups and downs you just read the
Psalms and you can you can recognize it but he said why are you downcast oh my
soul hope in the Lord is it that easy all the time no it's not but of what I
do know is that if we keep putting one foot in front of the other we get help
when we need it extra help if we need it that God will help us to come out from
under those heavy burdens and that oppression and the depression and the
things that enemy tries to put on us and that we can move forward so what are
you currently allowing to get planted in your heart I want you to think about
that maybe even a friend that said something in passing that you in the
last like week or two like oh shoot I didn't reject that thing even though I
didn't feel like the truth but when they said it I just was like you're right
they suck whatever you know whatever that is I don't know if you guys ever
say that but sometimes I'm like Lord your sheep suck they're just really bad
they're bad sheep I'm just being real as a pastor's wife this is sometimes the
conversation I have with the Lord and then I'm like but I know you love them
Lord so help me to love them the way that you love them doesn't mean I have
to be okay with the things that they do or say I can set healthy boundaries but
you know what I have to be real with how I feel first with the Lord so that he
can what it what do we talk about in hard work feel the feels so that God can
heal the feels if I don't even acknowledge how I really feel then am I
even giving room for the Lord to come in and work in those places of my heart so
this week I want y'all to slow down you know the pace of life is really fast
it's fast fast fast I don't even know where last week went it went so fast so
try to like slow slow things down a little bit in your life whatever that
looks like for you maybe it's you know at the end of the night not talking to
friends a lot on the phone via text or whatever but actually just maybe take a
bath instead relax unwind maybe put some candles on and some soft music and just
like rest some of y'all might fall asleep totally fine but like where
you're just creating space for your spirit to hear things that God is saying
maybe maybe turning the TV off I didn't want to do that on Saturday I was like
my brain I had so much work to get done and it was overwhelming me so I just had
the TV on for background noise and I kept hearing the word like you don't
really need this on but I just I just kind of was like oh I still want to deal
with all those things over there I don't want to so y'all I go through this
too but the reality is is that stuff is still there if I don't deal with it so
we just do our best and we unpack it so then we want to look at to what what
kind of fruit are you producing out of your heart what's coming out of your
heart God's standard of good is also different from our standard of good this
is one of the things that it says in the heart workbook about this whole what is
God's standard of good and you all I forgot on my book is packed away we're
traveling right now or I would tell you what chapter 10 but just kind of listen
and absorb it you'll find it when when you come across it in the book when God
uses the word good he isn't talking about our human standard of good he is
referring to his his standard of good so maybe you do have a little something
working out but is it God's version of good yet there's an upgrade available in
every area of our lives if we are willing to be shown what we cannot see
yet so there is an upgrade available in every area of your life some of you yeah
you didn't choose that
that divorce, but the reality is, is maybe this is a time where you can heal and you
can grow and you can step into something way healthier than what you were in before.
God has an upgrade for you.
Are you willing to allow him to show you what his good, good life looks like?
Your problem areas are the places you have the most unhealed wounds.
So if you feel stuck in an area, that's a signal to you that there's unhealed wounds.
If you have problem areas, things that you constantly struggle with, that's most likely
unhealed wounds as well.
Proverbs 23 7 in the amplified version says this, for as a person thinks in his heart,
so is he.
As a person thinks in his heart, so is he.
So I want to talk really quickly about flies, lies, and counter counterfeit lives.
Again, remember the flies will come in and they'll plant where they think there's a long
term source of food for them.
They plant themselves in decaying areas and then they, you know, lay eggs in there and
then the eggs hatch and feed off of that area.
So some of you all have what we call squatters in your hearts and lives.
Squatters in our heart work last year, single community as a whole, our enemies to your
breakthrough and progress.
So if you're not familiar, a squatter is someone who comes into a home or a building because
either a, they think nobody's home there, or they think the building's abandoned and
then they like set up residence there.
And in some states when it's winter time, let's say it's somebody, I'm just going to
make this up, somebody in New York, maybe they were down in Florida and their Florida
home where I live and their New York home was vacant and someone came and started living
in their home in New York.
Even when they come back to their home in New York, if it's cold out, I don't know,
I don't really know the laws in New York, but I know this happens in some states.
Again, I'm just kind of making this up, but I know it to be true because I've heard of
it.
They cannot evict those people.
You want to know why?
Because it's cold out.
And even though that house doesn't belong to those people, they sometimes are not allowed
to make them leave.
I think that's interesting.
So some of you all, the enemy's telling you this stuff, you're never going to get over
it.
For some of you, yes, I know.
I know, Catherine, you didn't choose that divorce, but I do want to encourage you to
start letting that go, okay?
Because you can't change what's already happened.
And sometimes we just get stuck on this, kind of like a broken record.
We're just stuck on that.
Back in the day, for those of you that have never had a record, once a record gets scratched,
you can want to listen to that song all day long, but back in the day, that record did
not play past that point.
It got on that and it'd be like, boop, boop, and it'd just keep playing the broken area
over and over.
Well, that's what it's like sometimes when we're just like, we just, and it's subconsciously,
we're not doing it on purpose, but where we're just like, I didn't choose that divorce.
I didn't want that divorce.
We have to move forward.
We have to just like, okay, yes, that's true.
But you know what?
I'm ready to move forward.
And I'm going to, I'm going to surrender that.
I'm going to forgive that person.
I'm going to move on.
I'm going to even stop blaming them for the things that I'm stuck in now because of what
they did.
Y'all, my ex-husband did terrible things.
He took my stepson from me who I helped raise and never let me see him again.
Do you think I'm not like back in the day, I wasn't angry about that.
Heck yeah.
I hired a lawyer to see if there was anything I could do about it.
There was nothing I could do.
Cause I didn't have any biological right to him, but I was never going to be able to move
forward.
If all I did was keep looking back and blaming and getting mad is like, okay, I can feel
what I feel, but I need to forgive.
And I need to move on and moving on and healing is literally like one of the best things we
can do.
You know, the Bible talks about heaping coals of fire.
But we love our enemies.
We don't have to be around them.
We don't have to like loving our enemies doesn't mean we just go right into relationship with
them.
Y'all loving our enemies can just be like, Lord, I pray that you would bless him, help
me to forgive him and whatever, you know, and we move on.
But when we live our lives and we're doing well, not that that's not that we do it so
that they feel bad, but it.
is it's like a like a what did they call it um kind of like a supernatural law if you will
it heaps it heaps coals of fire like regret and all these things on them because they see the
truth for some people the deception may never lift but a lot of people they're like well i
messed that one up they know even if they don't admit it so let's let's let these things go so
that we can move forward but some of you all the squatters we gotta kick them out so i'm gonna i'm
gonna give you some examples of squatters very quickly again there's so many more than this but
i just want to get these out there so you can be thinking about them passivity so that means like
we can be inactive unreactive inert so being passive is a squatter inferiority do you have
an inferiority complex do you do you tend to struggle with never feeling good enough
everybody's better than you you're treated like you're not you know equal cultural and family
norms some of some of you were raised in very you know diverse cultures you know some of the things
that you were raised around um you know for example um i know that a lot of and i hope i say
this correctly because i never want to offend different ethnicities but i know in the asian
culture a lot of individuals that i've coached um man their parents were really really hard on
them academically and very kind of like uh authoritarian in the way they they raise their
kids and i'm not saying all asian uh families are like that i'm just saying a lot that i've coached
have been um i know that some of the ladies that have come from africa and things like that like
you know or other areas i'm not even saying that this happens in africa necessarily but it just
just came to mind as well but some areas where it is still normal to have more than one wife
i mean there are some places in the world that that is still a normal thing or the women are
treated like they're beneath the men you know so if those are some of the things you're culturally
raised around and even within the u.s there are some things like we're raised with all different
other kinds of cultural norms that just are not true and so those might be the squatters in your
heart that need kicked out poverty mindsets lack mentality victimhood always the victim
religious mindsets maybe maybe it's living in scarcity always believing that you're going to
have less than i feel led to say this so i'm just going to go with it um back in the day i know this
sounds like such a small thing but i didn't have a lot of money and i realized that my socks were
getting holes in them or like my shirt like i would started noticing i went through this season
where all of a sudden things had holes in them you ever go through that where you're just like
why is everything wearing out so fast or you know wearing it's not it's not holding up like
i remember them holding up before but i was going through a season that was like that
and uh i kept wearing those socks with the holes in them or even the underwear with the hole in
them or the shirt with the i just kept wearing them not like out and like when i was getting
dressed up or whatever but the lord said to me the one day you need to stop that i'm like what
and he's like every time you put those socks with holes on back on you're partnering with
scarcity and it wasn't like i could never wear the socks with the holes but he was trying to
show me something i didn't buy new because i didn't know if i would have to like i didn't
know if i had enough money to keep replenishing them so i was just like well i'm just going to
keep wearing them until they wear all the way out and god was just trying to show me even in like
you all know i see some people nodding heads you wear the underwear with the holes
y'all ladies it's time to get rid of that stuff you're upgrading you're upgrading your life and
let's let the lord show us those things maybe maybe it's not even a physical thing that you're
wearing on the outside maybe there's a hole somewhere on the inside where you've just kind
of partnered with this thing where you just believe this is just how it this is as good as
it gets for me if that is something that you're believing and you're partnering with
it's going to cause you to settle for less than god's best for you
y'all we just had someone we're raising money for our church we're believing for
supernatural provision we just had someone hand us a ten thousand dollar check on sunday
for some of you that might not sound like a lot of money but that was a lot of money for one sunday
in our church for a specific thing god is doing something but for so many of us we're like well
i wish that would happen to me i used to think like that too i would always be
frustrated when I would hear stories like that because it wasn't happening for me,
because I partnered with something like I was an orphan and God wasn't going to bless me like
He was blessing other people. And so when Jackie talks on Supernatural Saturday, I don't know if
it was this past Saturday or two Saturdays ago, where we really struggle to actually genuinely
celebrate other people's blessings. And some of us are like, Oh, I celebrate people all the time.
But deep down, if we really get honest, a lot of us are like, that's just great.
There she goes, she's having a baby, but I'm not having a baby.
I've wanted a baby as long as I've I can remember you all.
And in the season when I was trying to get pregnant after we got married,
and this is not the first time I've gone around this mountain.
Even friends that I was in high school with that are the same age as me got pregnant.
But if I partner with not being happy for them, man, the enemy is getting me,
he's taking me back into scarcity and poverty and lack and victim,
and I am not going to live there. Okay, I have two more for you. Here's another two
for the squatters. I want to make sure that everybody understands what I'm talking about.
So addictive, addictive things, maybe wanting medication, maybe wanting to drink to hide
from feelings, maybe it's watching too much TV, like I even referenced earlier,
where we're like becoming addicted to things. Some of us are addicted to our phones. I had a
conversation with someone last night, addicted to just scrolling on her phone, even though she
knows she needs to stop. We need to be aware of those things. The last one I'm going to mention
tonight is bitterness. Okay, maybe some of you have bitterness and resentment and unforgiveness
in your heart, and it's time to kick that stuff out. It's time to serve the squatters in eviction
notice. Okay, so what you're going to talk about tonight, the squatters is going to be a part of
your activation work for this week. So we're going to talk about that, but we're going to talk about
that in the group. Your question for tonight is, what is a negative emotion or memory that as I was
going through that revealing for healing cycle that came up for you? It could be an emotion,
a trauma story, a painful memory, anything from your life that came up, and I want to encourage
you to share that with your sister in the breakout session. Give me one, hopefully a minute, we'll
get these set up quick. Okay, I think that's good. All right, we're going to do this short,
brief, and powerful. I'm putting two people in a room, so that gives you all, we're doing six
minutes, three minutes each. Be short, brief, and powerful. Be aware of who's in your room,
and really watching how long you're talking. Go ahead and click to join those really quick,
because you'll end up having about five and a half minutes really, depending on how quickly
you get in there. All right, go ahead and click to join those as quick as you can.
Once we get everybody set up in the rooms, I'll start to pray.
All right, Laura, we just thank you so much for this night. We thank you for everything that
you're doing. God, help us to hear what your spirit is saying. Help us to recognize
the revealings for healing that you want to show us. Help us to go into all truth,
Lord, and that you would anoint us for all of our lives and walk in calling. That you
would lead us deeper into Jesus in each moment. Help us, Lord, just to see the areas where in
the past there's been darkness and deception, where the enemy has been able to rule and reign
in our hearts and our lives. I thank you, God, that you would bring light, great light,
into those dark areas. I thank you, God, that you're just reminding us tonight that you're
a good father who brings good gifts to your children. God, that you care about everything
that has happened to us, that it broke your heart when we were going through trauma and pain and
loss, and that you are a good father who's also weaving all things back together, that you're
bringing the broken pieces together, and that you want to create a masterpiece out of the mess
and the brokenness of our hearts and our lives. God, I thank you that the ladies would just sense
tonight just your grace entering the room in a fresh way. Lord, I thank you that your word declares
that you would hide us under the shadow
of your wings, that we can rest in you, Lord.
So I'm asking you to help them to recognize your grace
that is sufficient for them,
God, that you would help them to lean on you,
to trust in you, to lift them out of the miry clay
and to set their feet upon the rock.
Psalm 119, verse 76 in the Passion Translation says this,
send your kind mercy kiss to comfort me, your servant,
your servant, just like you promised that you would.
So God, I thank you that even tonight
that your mercy would just kind of come down
and kiss the hearts, their minds, the spirits,
the bodies and souls of your daughters
in a supernatural way that you would help us
to be able to receive everything
that you're trying to give us.
God, that we would not come from a position of lack
or belief that you're withholding from us,
that we would come out of agreement,
alignment with those kinds of lies.
And we would come into agreement,
alignment with the truth
that you have more than enough for us.
And not only do you have more than enough for us,
that you want to give it to us at the right time
when we are able to receive it in its fullness.
Yes, Lord, I thank you for the reminder
that sometimes Lord, we want to receive your blessing,
but we're not quite ready to stand up
under the weight of it.
Ladies, the reality is, is that relationships,
marriage takes teamwork.
It takes having a foundation that when we're healthy,
the foundation and the blessing of marriage,
the weight of marriage can be built upon that foundation.
And so just praying that God would help you
to see the importance of the healing work
and giving God time and space
to build a healthy foundation first and foremost in you
so that you can come into partnership with a spirit mate
who's also healthy
and then walk out God's plan and destiny for you all
as individuals, as well as a couple.
Psalm 1 verse 3 in the Passion Translation says this,
he will be standing firm like a flourishing tree
planted by God's design,
deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss,
bearing fruit in every season of his life.
He is never dry, never fainting,
ever blessed, ever prosperous.
Do you believe that you are ever blessed,
that you are ever prosperous,
that you are prosperous in everything
that you put your hand to do?
If not, I believe that's a revealing for healing
for you tonight as well,
that God wants to show you why,
what are the lies that you're believing
that lead you to feel that life is dry,
that it's like a dead end road
and no matter how hard you try,
it's like you get in the car and the car doesn't start,
but that's even some of those kinds of things
are lies that we believe that we're never gonna get unstuck.
Well, that's not true.
If we heal, God will help us to come out of those places
and spaces and walk into the fullness of his plans
and promises for us.
So Lord, I just pray that you would reveal the areas,
even right now, where we have lies,
we have a limiting belief systems
or things that we have partnered with
because the pain of our past,
help us to recognize those lies,
that things would start to bubble up
even more throughout this week,
not just tonight, but in the week to come,
that we would have connections,
divine dots being like connected
one after another, after another,
and that even memories,
I just feel like I hear the Lord saying,
memories long forgotten.
Lord, if it's beneficial for the ladies to remember,
God, I thank you that you would reveal
these memories to them so that they can heal
and be restored in every one of these areas.
I thank you, God, for restitution
and areas where things have been stolen or taken from them.
I think I prayed this last week,
but I'm hearing it again in my spirit.
If the innocence was taken, God, I'm asking
and I'm thanking you for innocence being restored,
redeemed, restitution to come.
God, I thank you that you,
yeah, that you're just gentle and you're kind.
You are faithful and you are good.
I'm trying to decide what else I want.
I want to read one more here.
Luke chapter eight, verses 17 through 19,
says this in the Passion Translation.
Because this revelation lamp now shines within you,
nothing will be hidden from you.
It will all be revealed.
Every secret of the kingdom will be unveiled
and out in the open, made known by the revelation light.
So pay careful attention to your hearts
as you hear my teaching.
If you have open hearts,
even more revelation will be given to them
until it overflows.
Until it overflows, ladies.
I'm going to actually pause there and not read verse 19
because y'all are back.
Welcome back.
pray into that. If you guys want to go back and hear the things that I was
praying and saying while you were in breakout, you can check that out in the
replay. But God is saying he's gonna make those things that are not known, he will
make them known. And it will be to a point of overflowing. And so that's a
good thing so that we can step into healing. Alright, welcome back. I already
kind of alluded to what our activation is for this week. I'm gonna put a post up
in the group. You're gonna you're gonna really be praying into what are your
squatters. What are the squatters that need evicting this week that you're like
okay, like I recognize what squatters I have and I'm serving an eviction notice
and I'm kicking these suckers out this week. Alright, so that's what your
activation post. I'll put the instructions in there. You guys can read
them. There's a little bit more and we will go right into our group coaching
because I want to I want to go ahead and kind of dive in so we have time. So if
anyone's willing to share with the whole group what you shared in the breakout
session, Lisa can kick us off and then we'll go from there.
Okay, um, so while you're talking earlier, Bethany, the something
immediately came to my mind, which was my brother. When I was like in sixth
grade, my brother came home early and nobody else was home and he brought a
friend and he pinned me up against the wall and he put his hand around my neck
and told me he was gonna kill me if I didn't give him all my money. And so I
had a piggy bank of like $100 from doing chores. And so I gave it to him.
And then like, I never told my family even to this day, like, nobody knows.
And, um, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and so when you were talking, and I've thought
about this before, I think I have processed this and part of this, the
whole journey of being in last year single, is that my mom definitely
covets money and my dad who's passed away now and my brother also passed
away. And my dad always worked really hard and stressed about money. So money
did not have a good, you know, I looked at it like, you know, like money was
more important than your own life, because I was like threatened to be
killed, you know, my mom covets it. And, you know, I wasn't raised in the
Christian household. So she didn't have awareness of, you know, that it's a
whole security thing for her, but it's false security. And she'll do anything
pretty much to get it. And so it's really annoying. And then my dad just
really stressed. And it's been an area of my life where like, I've always been
really hand to mouth. And my first job out of high school, the management there
was really not good. And it was a corporation. And I told myself, I'll
never work for a corporation. Again, I'll never be treated like that. You
know, I wasn't saved yet. So that was like a word curse, right? So I have a
lot of awareness. But I do want to tell you that from last week's heart check
and call the very next day, Bethany, I started making major progress and
applying to get myself to Carmel.
I love it. I love it. You seem excited even talking about it. So I can't wait.
I cannot wait to hear where this is going to lead. I think this is really
good. And here, here, here's something that's really important. I think also
you making progress towards that now you have this memory, excuse me, this
memory that popped up that you haven't thought of this whole time you've been
in heartwork. So I want to encourage you to forgive that, forgive the
brother, forgive the friend, all the things, make sure you do forgiveness
prayer sheet on that. You know, forgiving your parents and even your mom, your
mom tends to be that contention point for you, you know, forgiving her for
coveting money. And really, I want to encourage you to start thanking God for
what I, what I'm hearing is a new relationship, like between you and
money. Oh, yeah. And so a lot of times we, you know, we think all the time in
terms of relationship with people, which is common, right? But a lot of us don't
think about what, like, what is our relationship with money? What is our
relationship with, like belongings, you know, and if there's a cycle where
something keeps happening, or we're seeing like, even tonight, this is this
is kind of maybe the root here, maybe it was before this. But this guy like
choked you and said, give me all your money. And then when you see the stress
around money, mom's coveting money, there's all these negative feelings
around money. And then one of the things that you've struggled is with the work
and like really feeling successful regarding money. So I believe God wants
to give you a new relationship, a new understanding of money. He wants to heal
all that stuff, and help you to know not just how to be in a good space, but how
to thrive there, like how to have access, which I don't think it's a mistake that
I as you guys were coming back, I was even though it was a different context.
You know, that scripture was talking about overflow. God wants to teach us
how to live in the overflow, even when the world
You know, the Bible talks about even when the world is all this chaos is going on,
that God will cause the people that have the money to give it to the church.
Well, the church isn't just a church building, you all. It's us.
So, but we have to be ready to receive it. Whether the blessing is a spirit mate,
whether the blessing is the finances that God wants to send us, whether the blessing is a
new house, like preparing our hearts and healing so we can receive it.
So be sure to process that stuff. Keep us posted about this whole new thing happening.
I'm excited for you. I can feel, I can feel your excitement just through your smile.
That makes me so happy. I feel very happy seeing that for you.
And so keep us posted on how that goes. Yeah.
Yeah. I wanted to share one last thing really quick.
So that person that threatened my life was my brother, not just some guy.
Okay. I thought it was your brother, but you also mentioned he brought a friend in the house.
So I just wasn't sure on that. So, but yes, definitely. And interestingly enough,
now that you say that something I just feel led to share. So, you know, I had a lot of fear around
men. My younger of my two brothers, who also was an abuser of mine, he used to sneak in my room and
steal my money when I was, when I was even like a teenager. And so I always had to hide my money,
had to lock it up. I had to like store it in places. And so for a long time, and even in my,
into my marriage, you all, I have this fear of letting go of control regarding money.
Because there's this underlying belief system. I still have to work through that.
Like something's going to happen to my husband and I'm not going to have the money I need,
or that if I give, like, if I give all control, because my ex-husband abused me financially,
that, that it's not going to go well. And so dealing with this stuff now lays as much as you
can. Like I said, some healing isn't going to happen until you're in relationship, just like
I'm talking about some of these things have been revealed after I got remarried, but I did do a lot
of work around finances, even before I came into this marriage and this, this relationship and then
marriage. So be, be working on those things. Sorry, I'm getting a little feedback. And that
will be really, really good. Lisa, thank you so much for sharing that with us tonight. Bless you.
Looking forward to hearing more testimonies in the days ahead. All right, Haley, go ahead.
Um, okay. So we were talking about a lot of what you were talking about with fear resonated with
me. Um, and I realized that a lot of it comes more from my, um, my dad. He, um, just through his own
upbringing, I know hasn't dealt with a lot of the abuse he went through. And so he was never an
emotionally safe parent of mine. Um, and like one of the specific memories I have was when I was in
college, um, something random had broken on my car that needed to get towed. Um, and so anything
that was ever inconvenienced or like a small issue or not my fault, like somehow got twisted
into our fault. Um, and we, I dealt with a lot of like getting yelled at and blamed for things.
And so, um, I just remember sitting in the car and like being yelled at and having obviously crying,
um, and like being made fun of for crying for having that, that emotion back. Um, and so we
were talking about that and like how that's bled into other areas. Like, um, you know, if you're
working, like if I'm working, I, and the boss is like, Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? Like
my stomach drops, like, am I in trouble? Like, what did I do? Um, and that kind of thing. So.
Thank you so much for sharing that. Um, so two things, um, well, three things, make sure
that even if you've already done a forgiveness prayer sheet regarding your dad, it came up
again tonight. So I would encourage you to go ahead and do another one. If you've already done
one, sorry, I was just looking for you on my screen. Um, and so that's number one, number two,
there's, there's a couple layers here, Haley. Um, the first thing that I want to go kind of
after a little bit is the being made fun of for crying. Um, because if this is showing up in
other areas of your life, this will be something that will probably try to follow you into
relationship and marriage and even with other people. Um, so when you have emotion in the days
ahead, I want you to work on not hiding that. Okay. Okay. And kind of, you know, even if it
feels uncomfortable, like, I don't know if you ever struggle with this, but I didn't feel safe
crying in my home. And so I would go and hide in the garage behind the garage. Um,
you know, inside of a home, if I felt really overwhelmed, I would find like a place where I
could kind of like a small spot that felt safe for me. Because I think those are things I did
as a kid. And so even as an adult, I would revert back to some of that stuff. And that would be
where I would like if I needed to cry, that's where I would do it. And so I've had to learn
how to, I remember the first movie I watched with Brian and y'all I'm like, I can cry at
commercials, I'm not kidding. Like, my heart is pretty tender. But God made me that way.
See, as a kid that wasn't valued very much. And even when my grandfather died, who was like my
dad, my brother, my oldest brother, who was my main abuser at the funeral was like, you need to
pull yourself together. And by this time, praise the Lord, I was already saved, I'd already healed
enough and had enough strength to stand up for myself. I looked at him and I'm like, I'm gonna
cry if I want to. And I just like walked away. Like he wasn't gonna tell me what to do. But it
took me a long time to get to that point. So I had to recognize, like, that was a bully showing up
through my brother. You know what I'm saying? And so recognizing those things. But when I watched
this movie with Brian, we were still dating at the time. And it was like an emotional movie.
And I remember like, oh, gosh, I don't want him to see me cry. And I was trying to hold the tears in.
And then then what happened is, I looked over and he was getting emotional, too.
And I was like, Are you crying? And he's like, I'm not crying, you're crying. And so then it became
this kind of like, lighthearted, like fun thing. And so I'm not saying it always works out like
that with everyone. But I hope all of you find someone like that, that you can just be yourself
and not hide your emotions from people. And so work on that not hiding your emotions, whatever
those are, you know, and processing that out. And then my question for you is, how is the dynamic
with your dad today? Is he still alive? Are you guys connected? No, we're still connected. I'd
say we have a decent relationship. Okay. But I like I was saying in our group, like I still like
if he calls, like my stomach will still drop doesn't matter what it's about. There's still
like that like, initial like, Oh, gosh, is he going to be upset? So when is the first time
and if you don't remember tonight, it's okay. When is the first time you remember feeling
yelled at? Because what you explained to me was when something happens, even when it's like,
you can't help it. Something happens. In this instance, the car was broke. So I would
forgive your dad for this situation in particular. Okay. Do you ever get his prayer sheet forgiven for
this college situation? Because it sounds like that was pretty extensive to the point that you
then said he was making fun of you for crying and the whole all of that. But I want you to ask the
Lord when is the first time my dad yelled at me for something that I couldn't like control.
So for example, in this situation, you couldn't control the car breaking necessarily. Okay. And
even even let's just say sometimes there maybe we could have gotten it service maybe. But like,
when we're young, we're learning we don't, we don't always know how to do all those things.
But sometimes the parents are like, treat us like we should just know, like osmosis, we just get it,
you know, but some of them were treated that way by their parents. And so then they're repeating,
it doesn't make it okay, but they're repeating what they learned. So we want to know what,
like from the Lord, Lord, when is the first time I felt this way with my dad?
Okay, where I felt like something like that happened, whether it's something you did,
or it's just something that happened, where he felt because word you used,
and this really stood out to me, he was inconvenienced.
I feel like that's going to be kind of a key there, because for you to bring that up,
because you said, when it's an inconvenience to him, then he yells at you, he blames you,
then he makes fun of you. So it's this kind of cycle. So my guess is this has probably happened
quite a bit for you to get to the point that even now today, you're telling me you guys have
a better relationship, but your body is telling you that you don't feel safe with him. Because
that's why you feel that that kind of pit in your stomach, that drop in your stomach,
when you see his name on the phone, if you will. Right. Okay. And so do you
happen to, is there anything coming up for you as I've been saying that?
Not a specific memory. Okay, I just wanted to make sure, I wanted to give you space to share
if there was something. So just take some time, it might come up this week, it might not come up
right away, but we know, go ahead and start with this college situation, go ahead and start
processing that, and it might even be after you forgive your dad for that situation that the
others, you know, come up. But most likely there's probably going to be other things connected to
this for you. Okay. Okay, thank you so much for sharing, that was awesome, you guys are doing so
great. Okay, let's see here, I know I have several on here, I'm just going to try to do it the way
I see you guys. Sally, go ahead. We can't hear you, sweetie. Can you hear me? Yep, now I do.
Okay, when you talked about the revealing for a healing cycle, and you went down to
painful memories, and you said something about spiritual abuse, I remember when I was, when I had
just gotten into a fellowship where we had a spiritual father, and he was teaching us a lot
of things, you know, but I didn't know a lot, so I just followed, I just, he manipulated the words
in which he spoke until I got raped one of the days, you know, and I didn't know, I didn't know
how to grapple with my thoughts, I was like, was it my fault, wasn't it my fault, what did I do,
you know, and then in the back of my mind, I was like, yeah, yeah, you know, then events started
happening in my life, my sister got, one of my sisters got divorced, one her husband died, and
all of that, so I thought, maybe this marriage thing is not my, you know, it's not, it's not
something that I, that is for me, because the people that I thought are, like, stronger, you
know, more able to handle this, this is what is happening to them, so people like me, maybe not,
you know, so fast forward to now, that was a couple of years, quite a number of years ago, so I was
talking with one of my pastor friends now, and we were praying, and I, in my mind, now I want to get
married, and I'm like, why is it taking so long, what's the delay, you know, so we took time to
pray, and he asked me, he said, did something happen in your life, like, long time ago, like,
when you were younger, for a while, I was like, happened, no, nothing, what, he said, no, no, no, no,
just calm down, and just let that question settle in your mind, maybe a situation may come up in
your mind, and sure enough, you know, that situation came up, and then added to it what
happened to one of my sisters, and my other sisters, and the things that I said, when that happened,
you know, I had no idea, you know, that would be an issue, you know, later on, you know, so I was like,
but I didn't, I was just saying it out of being hurt, and you know, out of being disappointed, it wasn't
like I didn't want to get married, it just happened that what I was seeing was not something I really
wanted to be a part of, you know, and all that, so he was like, well, this, this is a, like a, almost
like a roadblock, and until you're able to, you know, either accept it, cross it, or do something
about that, it's going to hinder a lot of things, okay, so I took time, and I thought about it, I
prayed, then something happened, it's more like a testimony of what happened then, you know, church,
and in church on Sunday, you know, somebody, I know this is not the person I'm supposed to get
married to, but somebody on his own just came up and said, hello, he wants to meet me, I was like,
it never happens to me, I was like, oh my God, it started so easily, I didn't do nothing, and it was
like, hi, can I have, you know, I was like, whoa, okay, Lord, all right, this is not that, so I just
want to testify that, yes, that, that really, you know, is an issue that if, once we get over it,
you know, good things can come from that. Yeah, yeah, 100 percent, Sally, and you know,
one of the things I want to say as well, and it sounds like God is using this current pastor to
be a part of the healing process, you know, we believe in this community, hurt in community,
healed in community, hurt in relationship, healed in relationship, you know, and you were spiritually
hurt in that community before, and God is, it sounds like, has placed someone healthy that's
a pastor in your life now, that's asking you really great questions, and he's a part of the
healing process that's happening in your life, and 100 percent, ladies, you know, again, remember,
we're not intentionally partnering with the lies most of the time, sometimes,
We are just like, I'm just mad. And we just, you know, but even in that, it's a subconscious thing
that is still happening underneath the surface. That's causing us to partner with the lie.
Yeah.
When we understand what the lies are, that's why we want to come out of alignment and agreement
with those. But then we also want to come into agreement with the truth to replace the lie.
And so Sally, make sure you go all the way to the truth. The truth is, yes, I believe
God that you have marriage for me, but it's more than that. You know, it can be things like,
and I don't want to tell you because I want you to get those from the Lord. But like,
what comes to mind is, Lord, I thank you that my marriage does not have to end up like the
marriages that I've seen. You know, where we just start to create separation between what we've
partnered with in the past. And now what we're going to partner with in the days ahead,
God, I believe that you're a good father who has good gifts for your children, including me
and including my spirit mate. God, I believe that you, you know, want to cause me to flourish
in marriage and relationship and thrive in every way possible. You know, where we just start to
partner with good things. You know, the Bible talks to us about ladies thinking on things that
are true, noble, and like lovely and of good report. Things that are above only and not beneath.
Yes.
But the reality is, is so many times we don't even recognize the things that are beneath,
if you will, that we have subconsciously partnered with. And that's how this revealing
for healing cycle, it's going to be really powerful when you all lean into it. And, you know,
again, use this as a tool as you go, because I'm telling you what, I've been married, you know,
like I said, almost four years. And there's things now that it's not so much because of Brian,
my husband, but we're serving people in ministry and, you know, things happen and, you know,
and then before I know it, I'm like, whoa, okay, there I am partnering with a lie again. You know,
the enemy just always tries to come and bring those things back in any way it can. So Sally,
keep us posted on how this goes. Just so you know, it's okay for you to like, that guy, if he comes
up again, say hi to him. If he keeps pursuing you, just let him know you're in a heart healing
process and you, you know, if he starts to pursue you, like he wants to date you is what I'm trying
to say. Just kind of have it in your back pocket that you're in the heart work right now, but you
would love an opportunity to get to know him better when you're finished. Okay. If that is
how you feel. Okay. Yeah. So just keep that tucked away because it sounds like God's might,
even if this guy doesn't circle back, what might start to happen is you might start to
encounter more guys noticing you. Okay. All right. So just be prepared. And then we do recommend
for y'all to finish heartwork. And sometimes that can be hard because people will start to fear.
Well, if I, if I don't say yes to this, then am I going to miss out on my spirit mate? Here's what,
here's the truth ladies. I promise you, you're not going to miss out on your spirit mate,
a man that is healthy. You know what he's going to say about a woman doing her heartwork.
He's going to think that's awesome. And he'll be like, that that's great. Yeah. Let me know when
you're finished, you know, and they're going to really honor that and respect that in you.
100%. So way to go, Sally break. Thank you. Yeah, good stuff. All right. Let's see. I see
Roseanne next on my, on my screen here. Hi, Bethany. Hello. So I have some recent memories
and I've, I've talked about this before. You, you know, a lot of the, a lot of the ladies are,
are new to the group, so they may not know, but the man that I was engaged to for two months
recently, we went to a, I went to a wedding. He was there at the wedding. We did not go together,
but we, you know, they were, it was a couple from our church that got married and,
and at the reception, I was talking to a girl that I hadn't seen in a few weeks and we were
standing, you know, facing one another talking and he chose that time to come up to her,
kind of gave her a little side hug, whispered in her ear, hi, beautiful, and walked away behind
her, never made eye contact with me or said a word to me. And then this past Sunday,
we, we, we do communion. Well, we have been for the last, I don't know, six or eight months. We
do communion every Sunday and we, we have it set up like at the front of the sanctuary in the back
on these little high top tables. And you usually we, they have us go get our own elements, but
the person that was leading this past Sunday.
said, I want to do it a little bit differently.
I'd like everyone to be served if I can get a few people to help me out.
And so immediately a couple of young guys got up and went to the one in the
front. And then I saw our pastor's wife stand up and walk, you know,
start walking toward the back.
So I stood up and walked back there with her to help her.
And there were several people standing back there around those tables and he was
one of the people. Um, and I, you know, I've,
I served the bread to, you know, a couple of other people there.
And he was standing there and I held the plate out for him and he did his hand
up like, like, and shook his head no.
And initially I thought it was because he was kind of in the middle of writing.
I think he was writing a check or something. And so I was like, okay. And,
but then the pastor's wife was right behind me with the juice thing and he took
it from her and I just handed her the tray and just said, I'll let you serve him.
And I mean, I, I, I don't know. I just, um,
I don't know if I would say I'm stuck,
but I'm tired of having to revisit this and I,
I want to do whatever I need to do to.
Yeah. I can't remember Roseanne. If we, if we chatted about this,
I feel like we maybe did, but I don't remember what, what was said.
Have you considered going to a different church?
I know that's tough because it sounds like you're connected really a lot.
Very, very. I mean, as a matter of fact, my,
my pet I'm praying right now.
My pastor called me last week and asked me if I would be an elder.
Yeah, I think, Oh, you know what?
I think that came up the last time we were talking to you,
that that might be something that was coming down the pipe for you.
So, and it's not something I ever thought about for myself,
but I don't want to say no until I've asked the Lord, you know, about it.
I think the thing that I'm concerned about is that it's going to be really hard
for you to feel safe with him treating you this way.
Um, I'm not saying we should all flee and leave situations.
I'm just saying that this is a recurring pain for you now,
and he's openly doing this in front of other people,
which is, is a passive aggressive, you know,
these are passive aggressive actions and things that he's doing. I would,
I want to believe the best in him and believe it's not intentional,
like how he came up to that woman, but you know,
it's just not given me good vibes. And so my,
my thought for you is how can you change,
like either help yourself get like,
just get beyond how this guy is acting. If you're going to stay there
or get to the point that you see that maybe the road needs to,
like, you might be at a crossroads here at this church at this time.
Yeah. And you know, again, yeah, of course, you know,
that's such an honor that your pastor would ask you about being an elder and
all of that.
But I genuinely believe that you need to be somewhere where you personally can
flourish Roseanne and serving as an elder.
Maybe you would flourish during that,
but in a an environment that feels hostile a little bit, I'm not,
I'm not sure.
Yeah. And I, when my, you know, my pastor called me and asked me,
um, I said, you know, I took, I said two things.
I'm still,
I've been involved for the past several months trying to help my neighbor who's
been in a hospital or facility since September.
And he's probably going to have to go to a facility for the rest of his life
and go through the process of qualifying for Medicaid and all that.
And he just doesn't, he doesn't have any family here.
And so I've been trying to help him. And I said, I'm still involved in that.
And then I said, and honestly,
and I told him about what happened at the wedding because the wedding was his
son's wedding. I said, I'm sorry to tell you this. I said, but this happened at
the, you know, at the, at the wedding. And, and he, you know, he said,
I'm sorry that, you know, he, he doesn't have a right to treat you like that.
And I, but he said, you know,
he is a different kind of person and he,
he has problems and everybody knows it.
And he's kind of created an Island for himself. I mean,
cause my first thought was, you know,
nobody's holding him accountable for his behavior. And then it's like, am I,
do I have behavior?
Somebody needs to hold me accountable for nobody.
say anything to me, you know,
it sounds like they know, I mean, you know, even, uh, helping my
husband, pastor, the church that we're in, we have some people
that would be in that category.
They just are very difficult people to work with and be
around and people kind of know it.
Um, I will tell you that one of the things that I feel very.
Like, I feel like God puts me in these roles and positions.
Um, I will love people like really well, but I also feel
important, like it's important to hold people lovingly
accountable, unhealthy behavior, even, you know, in all, in all
relationships, especially in a church.
And so again, like, just pray into that for me, just pray
into that because, you know, I'm not saying it's easy as a
pastor for, cause we, it's hard for us to, to those people in
those situations, but if we let it go, it's just going to grow.
Okay.
And if they allow it to remain there, it's going to end up
infesting other things.
Right.
Um, so I just want you to pray into what's really best for you.
Not, I want you to separate Roseanne cause you're a big
caregiver, you want to help people you want to, you know, it
sounds like you're doing all the things and I'm not saying you
should leave the church.
I'm just planting these seeds and letting, like encouraging
you to pray about it and let God lead you to where he wants you
to be.
And if that means stay there, then, you know, and he shows
you that, then that's great.
But I want to make sure that your desire to serve, isn't
keeping you in a place where you internally may not be able to
thrive.
Okay.
And it doesn't mean you don't love them.
It doesn't mean it wouldn't be hard.
Um, I will, and again, I'm not saying that you should do what
I did, but when I went through my, when I went through my
separation, I was very connected in that church.
I was preaching.
I was serving all the time on multiple levels and I actually
decided to leave, um, because for multiple reasons, but, and
that was really hard.
It was, um, and I kind of bounced around for a little
while until I finally moved to Lexington and found my actual
church home there.
Um, but all of those phases that I went through taught me
something about myself.
And again, your story might be different.
You might end up saying there, God may like deal with this
might help you just get completely over it.
But what you said to me is why do I have to, like, why am I
still strong?
I'm stuck.
Cause I keep struggling with the same thing.
Uh, the reality is sometimes we need to not be around the people
that are mistreating us so that we can heal and move forward.
Sometimes we're not able to constantly stay around them.
So you need to just pray and really seek the Lord about, can
I really stay in this environment and get over this and move
forward or Lord, even if it's for a season, Rosanna doesn't
have to be forever, right?
Like Lord, is there somewhere else I need to be right now so
that I can actually break free from this thing and really move
forward.
So that's what I want you to pray about specifically.
Okay.
And, and then ladies, I know it can get hard when, you know,
even some of you all, God will nudge you to move.
I said, I was never going to move.
I had moved so many times.
I said, I was never going to move again.
And then God led me to Brian and I did not feel like God was
asking me to ask Brian to move away from his mom because his
dad had just died, you know, eight months before I met him
and his mom needed him there and I knew it.
And, and so I moved you all.
I did.
I said, I said, I never would.
And then I did because God showed me something that was
worth it.
Okay.
And so just be open ladies, you know, when these things are
happening, protect your hearts, protect your mind and your
spirit.
We don't have to run from things.
This isn't running.
This is you discerning what is the healthy decision and where
can I be planted to flourish in this season?
Okay.
Right.
All right.
I know I didn't get through all of you, but we are at nine
29.
And so I'm going to close this down for tonight.
Joy and Catherine, please come into the group and post in the
group, um, what you were going to share.
Cause I want to help, you know, coach to myself or, or Andrea
or Kelly will coach you all through that.
Blessed you all.
So glad that all of you were here.
I've been seeing some awesome posts.
I've been loving all of them.
Great breakthroughs happening in this community.
You guys having fun.
It's been awesome.
All right.
Let me pray for us. Father, thank you so much for this night. We thank you, God, for everything
that you've done already, the things that you're going to continue to do. We ask you, Lord, to help
us to receive the fullness of your goodness, your glory, your faithfulness, your kindness. God,
I thank you that you would prepare our hearts to receive the blessings that you have for us,
that you would reveal the squatters that we need to evict. I thank you, Lord, that, yes, Lord,
that you would help us to become uncomfortable in the unhealthy places. God, in an effort so that
we can heal, it's not to torment us, it's not to harm us, but God, you want us to heal. So help us
to step into the places of healing and redemption and life. Help us to step into the good, good
life that you have for us. Lord, we know that you sent Jesus as the light of the world, and we know
that he has come to give us life and give it to us more abundantly. I pray that you would help us
to remember that tonight. We thank you for your hedge of protection around us, that you would
guard and keep watch over us and our families as we go about our way this week. In Jesus' name,
amen. God bless you all. So good to see you again, and we'll be seeing you all in the group,
and then back here again next week. Good night, everyone. Bye-bye.
Good night.