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Hello. Welcome. Good evening. Welcome back for another Monday Night Heartwork session.

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So glad to be here with all of you tonight. Anyone else want to come on camera with Lisa

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and I tonight? We want to invite you. We want you to have fun with us here on camera. Y'all,

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you're going to hear me just keep saying that to you over and over and over again. Welcome.

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Welcome to the Heartwork and to this sisterhood journey. That's what I'm going to kind of

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call it tonight as well. For new ladies, I think I recognize everyone's names, but as

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more people join, I'll kind of circle back to that to make sure we can grab everyone.

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I want to encourage you all just as a reminder how important it is to take extra rest time

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during the Heartwork. Your body is processing all kinds of stuff, things that you've been

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through in the past, as well as things that you're processing now. And so it's really

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important to get extra rest. Really consider going for a light walk. I'm not talking about

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heavy cardio right now because again, your body needs to process those toxins that are

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getting released from the emotional processing. You need to process, like your body needs

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to get that stuff out. And so really important to, even if it's just a couple of times a

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week ladies, because sometimes we don't do it at all because we're like, where am I going

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to fit it in? But let's just move our body a little bit this week. Get some extra rest

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when you need it. Because again, some of y'all are doing some heavy lifting in the

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Heartwork right now. And so that'll be a good rest break this week. Just as a friendly reminder

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for those of you that are newer in the course, if you've not heard us say this, we just kind

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of reiterate this every couple weeks. These are a couple best practice tips that we give

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for everyone in this community that is in the Heartwork. We encourage you to press pause

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on dating. Okay. So completely pressing pause on trying to date or interact with men on

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the app, meeting them in person. You can actually say hello to guys, but we're just asking you

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not to try to make a romantic connection at this time. Because y'all are, Heartwork, you

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got stuff all over the place. Okay. So your discernment and your picker are going to be

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kind of out of whack, if you will. And so we want you to go through the Heartwork to

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take the time for your heart to heal so that your picker really isn't broken. It's just

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that your kind of counterfeit identities are leading you in directions that are not good

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for you. And so allowing yourself this time to heal, to process, and then later on in

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one of our other phases, you'll be introduced to our levels of dating and all of that kind

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of stuff where we coach you on healthy dating. But for now, we want you to focus on the Heartwork.

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And we encourage one week of content per week. If you can't do that much, it's okay,

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but we don't want you to go faster than that. And even for some of you, I put a response

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up in someone's post today, like sometimes it can feel like, whoa, there's still so much

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to unpack and process. There's been a lot coming up and just not sure what to do with

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that. The reality is you might just need a little more time. You might need more than

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five weeks here in the Heartwork. We don't want you to stay forever because we don't

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think that's healthy for you either. But the reality is, is you might need a few more

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weeks just for white space. Now that you've kind of been working through the homework

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and all the things to continue to process things that were coming up. Some of you all

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might want to go back and re-listen to videos or reread a little bit of the book. I remember

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doing that in the Heartwork and I was really glad that I did. I watched the Soul Ties session,

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I think like two or three times just while I was in the Heartwork. And every time I listened

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to it, God was showing me something new that I hadn't seen before. And so again, I want

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to encourage you all, you know, I think that's highly beneficial. Now for some of you, we

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want you to make sure that you're continuing to work on the Heartwork work, like the course

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work and to move on out of phase one. Some of you all have been here a long time and

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you're not even like into week two of the Heartwork course. Now we're not upset with

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you. Okay, that doesn't even happen here. But the reality is, is that we don't want

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you to be in the ICU forever. Okay? And some of you are coming to the live sessions, which

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I'm so excited that you're here, but then you're not doing the work. And so we want

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there to be a both end. We want you to really get the benefit of the live sessions, but

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also the benefit of doing the work, watching the videos, reading the book, doing the homework.

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I have noticed some of you are turning in your activations and that's so exciting. And

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I feel like you are starting to kind of move forward. And if that's you, you know who you

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are and I'm cheering you on. We are cheering you on. This is going to be a great process.

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It's not always easy, but you all, it's going to be worth it. So hang in there. Don't give

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up. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. For some of you, if you have a

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lot of, you know,

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really depressing moments, not just a momentary thing,

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but you kind of live in depression.

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Want to highly recommend you looking into a counselor

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in addition to getting this coaching in here.

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Sometimes we all just need a little bit more support in those kind of things.

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All right. So welcome to our new ladies.

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Anyone here new for the first time tonight?

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You've never been here for a live session before.

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Want you to put that in the chat for us so that we can welcome you.

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Welcome back to all of our other ladies that are joining again tonight.

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Supernatural Saturday. Also, if y'all didn't check it out,

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every promise comes with a process. It's not a popular message.

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It's really not a lot. Jackie said, she's like, I don't think they,

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I don't think they liked that message, but here's the thing.

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The reality is, is it, there's always a process to everything.

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There's a process to getting married. Once you meet your spirit mate,

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you plan a wedding and you're doing all the things and, you know,

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you get engaged and then you're making plans for, you know, a house or whatever,

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whatever life brings you. And so let's just accept the process,

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even if it doesn't feel good and really allow God to do what he wants to do in

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that process so that we can move forward. Okay.

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Francis Guyana, is that in? Okay. I'm not, y'all,

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I'm not geographically great. Is that in Africa?

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Just tell me in the chat, help me out here. Um, but welcome.

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If you've never met me before South America, that's awesome.

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God is bringing people from all over the world and I love it.

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It's great to meet you. All right.

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Roberta says she's going to jump on camera when she's not driving.

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For those of you that weren't here when we first started, I was like, Hey,

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who else is going to, at the time it was just Lisa and I on camera.

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I said, who else is going to join us on camera tonight?

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And we have some more joining us.

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Would love to have you come on camera as well.

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I was starting to say that I'm Bethany Cooper.

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I am one of the Master Hardware coaches here in the community.

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I do a lot of other things with Last Year Single.

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So you'll be seeing me around if you stick along with us in the community

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beyond phase one. And I'm going to go ahead and pray.

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We have a lot to cover tonight for those of you that have been here before,

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or maybe you've been here. What I mean by that is like,

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maybe you've been around for a little while. You've heard this message before,

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but I hope tonight that new connections are made for you in the spirit.

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I do believe that that is 100% possible.

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So praying that for all of you and we'll go ahead and dive in after I pray.

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Father, thank you so much for this night. God,

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I thank you for the revealings for healing that are going to take place that are

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even right now in the spirit realm happening. God,

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we thank you for divine connections. We thank you for redirection. God,

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thank you for taking our feet off of pathways of pain and leading us back to a

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pathway that leads to life and to the fullness of everything you originally

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created and designed for us long before trauma or wounds ever entered our life.

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God,

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we thank you that you would help us to hear what your spirit is saying tonight

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louder than any other voice, calm anxieties, calm distractions.

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Yes, Lord, we thank you that you would remove fear from the room. God,

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I thank you that you would help us to lean in, lift our hearts up,

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lift our heads up. God, I thank you that, um,

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that we will look up to where our help comes from.

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It comes from the maker of heaven and earth. Nothing is too hard for you. God,

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I thank you that when we feel overwhelmed, we don't have to stay there. Lord,

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we can just surrender all of that to you and allow you to encourage us and lift

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us up and help us to keep moving forward. We thank you God for breakthrough,

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for supernatural acceleration and our healing processes.

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And we just thank you God that you're going to do great things tonight in Jesus

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name. Amen. All right. So tonight we're doing the heat, uh,

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revealing for healing cycle. And as we start to talk about that,

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I want to remind you all that we cannot replace the events that happen in our

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lives. We can't go back. We can't change what's happened.

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We can't change what other people have done to us.

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We can't change the things that we've done,

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but what we can do is replace the lies that we've believed as a result of those

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things. All right. I'm going to say it again.

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What we can replace are the lies that we believed as a result of those things

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and those events, those traumatic things, hard decisions,

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maybe not good decisions that, you know,

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we made or other people made that harmed us.

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And so we're going to walk through the actual revealing for healing cycle

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tonight. I'm going to go ahead and bring it up on my screen so you can see it.

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Welcome to those that are continuing to join tonight.

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It's going to be a good night. All right.

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Can you all see that up on the screen? Everyone see that? All right.

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I'm going to reduce it just so the whole thing. Give me one sec.

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I just got to wait for this thing to disappear here. There we go. Okay.

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I think that's good. All right. So you all have this worksheet.

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You got this when you joined, it was under the welcome area.

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It's also, I think in week three of your content,

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I want to encourage you all to keep this handy for your path of life. Okay.

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So.

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No matter how long you're here in our program,

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that you would hopefully use this to help you process things

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that happen throughout your life,

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including the things that come up, you know,

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from the past that the Lord is like,

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hey, you know, sometimes we'll get a dream,

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we'll have a dream and it'll just remind us of things

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that still need process.

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Sometimes it's just in the daytime or something kind of,

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you know, I call it gurgle up,

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kind of bubble up to the surface, if you will.

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And sometimes it's just very quick.

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It's something that we have a knowing of,

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and hopefully that will happen a little more for you tonight.

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We typically encourage people to start

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with the negative emotions when we go through this process.

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But what I want you to understand is

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this isn't about rules tonight, okay?

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Revealings for healing are not always like cut and dry.

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They're always gonna happen in this specific process.

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We're just saying this is a tool that you can use

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to identify some of these things.

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For some of you, you're gonna know the trauma stories

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before you know the actual emotions

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you have connected to those things, okay?

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So don't get worried if you're like,

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I don't know what my emotion,

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I don't even know what I feel.

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I don't even know what I think about what I feel.

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You know, just don't get hung up in all that.

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Just allow yourself to recognize what you're,

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like notice what you're noticing, if you will.

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And then if your first thing is that trauma story

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versus the negative emotion,

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what I try to encourage people to do

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is go backwards then before you go forwards, okay?

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And I'll talk a little bit more about that tonight.

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But I really want y'all just to breathe.

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This isn't like, it's just like healing and grief,

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like grief is just different for everybody.

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Revealings for healing happen

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in different ways for everybody.

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For some of you, you've been out of touch

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with your emotions for so long

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that you don't even know sometimes

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what your emotions specifically are.

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And that can even be the case

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for people that are very emotional.

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The reality is, is sometimes we cannot identify

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what really the root emotion is.

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We might know that we feel angry.

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We might know that we're crying.

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We might know, you know, that we feel sad.

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But what if there's other layers

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of emotions underneath of that?

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A lot of times we don't recognize those right away.

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All right?

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So as we go through this,

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what I'm going to do tonight,

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and everybody's story is different.

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Hopefully the things that I share tonight don't trigger you.

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If they do, just make some notes down

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because there probably is a reason it's triggering you

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if it does, okay?

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And if that's the case, you can come into the group.

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We'll coach you through that.

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But I'm gonna use some of my story tonight

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and I'm gonna walk through the revealing for healing cycle

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in hopes that it helps you all start

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to identify some different things in your lives

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that connect in similar ways, okay?

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So for example, I'm gonna start out with negative emotion.

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One of the biggest emotions I battled throughout my life

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and still I feel like the enemy still tries

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to come in the back door with a lot is fear.

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A lot of people don't even think about the fact

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that fear is actually an emotion.

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It's not just a belief system.

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It's not just a thought that we have.

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It's an actual emotion that we feel, okay?

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Remember that fear is false evidence appearing real,

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but it is an emotion that the enemy often comes in

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and will just try to put his finger right on that.

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But if you will, I had not just fear in general,

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but tonight I'm gonna talk about a specific fear,

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fear around men.

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So for some of you, if you battle a lot of fear,

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you might wanna look at what are the different layers

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of fear that you battle?

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So one of my other layers is I had a lot of fear

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of the dark, okay?

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So fear of men and fear of the dark,

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two massive ones for me.

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And I had to do the revealing for healing cycle

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on both of those.

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So even though they're both fear related,

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they both have different trauma stories associated

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with them, even though they also kind of intermingled

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a little bit, all right?

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So my emotion that I'm talking about tonight

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is fear around men.

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Painful memory, the way I like to describe this,

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because a lot of people be like,

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well, what's the difference between painful memory

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and a trauma story?

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I like to describe it like the painful memory

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is kind of like the umbrella,

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the overarching concept, if you will,

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that the trauma stories, it's like the handle

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of the umbrella is a trauma story.

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That feeds up into that overarching thing.

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So for example, for me, one of my painful memories

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is I was abused by men.

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So that's the overarching theme, if you will,

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the overarching painful memory.

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And then a trauma story for me, again, it's that handle.

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It's the thing that's the spokes up under the umbrella

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that hold that top thing up.

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And so when I started breaking this.

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down. It's not just, you know, oh just men are abusive. I actually had trauma stories that

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were informing my painful memory and my fear. Here are some of them. I was sexually abused by

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my brothers. I was also sexually abused by my sister, but for whatever reason I had more fear

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of men than I did women. And this will all make sense the more that I unpack this stuff for you.

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My dad, while I never saw him be abusive, he was an alcoholic and drug addict and there was just

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kind of always this fear around my dad. And so that connects into that fear around men as well.

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My dad was always kind of elusive and when he was home I saw him passed out a lot and that was

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scary for me. And actually I don't think I've ever said that during one of these sessions and it just

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came up in my spirit tonight to connect that aspect regarding my dad. When I got married the

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first time, unfortunately my counterfeit identity led me to meet someone that was also very abusive.

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He was abusive mentally, emotionally, like in every way. When I say that, a lot of people don't talk

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about spiritual abuse, but it absolutely happens on a regular basis. Physically abusive. Now he

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didn't thankfully hit me and some people might be like, well that's not as bad what he did. But what

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he did is he paced a lot. He would get really loud and he would talk about killing himself and killing

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other people and he would throw things. He locked me out of my house and so a lot of those people

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don't realize that is all physical abuse related, even though he never physically laid hands on me.

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Because it had to do with my physical environment and not feeling safe around him. And for example

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him locking me out of my house when he was mad, those kind of things. And so for those of you

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that maybe have never had someone tell you that those are also physical abuse, I'm just trying to

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help you understand that none of that is okay treatment. Okay, all right, so that fed into it as well.

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I also, when I was unpacking this, a couple things that came up for me. I had two incidences. One when

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my mom took us to, back in the day there was home interiors parties and she took us to someone's

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house for one of those parties, my sister and I. And we were upstairs, all the kids were sent upstairs

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to play and we were playing up there. I literally don't remember if I even knew these people,

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honestly. But there was a boy there that was very, I don't know how much older than he was for me,

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but he very much was trying to get me by myself in a room to the point that he shut the door and

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put a dresser in front of it. My sister literally pushed the door down to get me out of there.

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And nothing happened, praise the Lord. I don't think we ever went back to that place. I don't

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even know what happened when we went downstairs. All I remember is that clip of the story.

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Another time, years later in high school, my so-called best friend, she was supposed to be my

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best friend at the time, she thought it would be funny to put this ball down my shirt and she

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shoved me in the bathroom and then told one of the guys that was at the hangout that it was his goal

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to get the ball. Well, I wasn't informed of any of this, number one, was not okay with me. So he

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comes in thinking like, oh, it's funny, it's funny. No, it wasn't funny. And I freaked out

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and it was a whole thing. I got really embarrassed. I got out of the bathroom. He didn't do anything

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to hurt me, but he literally thought he was playing a game because my friend called it a game.

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I didn't feel like it was a game and that was traumatic for me. And so again, just trying to

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help you guys see all the different ways, all of these things, and there's more, but I just wanted

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to give you a couple tonight. Those are all things that fed into the story that I have to be afraid

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of men. Okay. And that I am abused by men as my painful memory. All right. The lies I believed,

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we're going to keep going around the revealing for healing cycle. And there's way more than this,

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but I'm just giving you two tonight. Lies believed are revealed. One of the lies I believed,

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all men are abusive. I can even throw in there tonight, even thinking about that, you know,

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the guy in high school, I was friends with him, you know, that all men don't know how to have

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boundaries. You know, like they're just, I really had a lot of negative thoughts about men.

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Lie number two, I need to be afraid of men because they are not safe. Okay. Well, the reality is,

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here's the flip side of that. My grandfather, which was a man, he was a man. He was a man.

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My dad's dad was like a father to me and I felt very safe around him.

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He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man. He was a man.

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I loved being with him and I did have other, you know, good examples of men in my life.

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It just, you know, there's a lot of times when we believe the lie and we have these trauma stories

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that are constantly feeding the lies because they're not healed because our emotions aren't

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actually healed, right? It just starts to live in there and we partner with that and it grows

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and it grows and it grows. All right, so in our community one of the big things and, you know,

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I think churches do do their best to try to talk to us about the lies but and that we're supposed

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to just believe the truth and have declarations. I think a lot of churches do that really, really

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well, but here's the thing. If you don't know what the actual root lie is, you can make a declaration

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all day long, but if you don't know the truth to replace the lie in your life, the root lie that

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you believe because of the emotion and the trauma and all these other things and your heart isn't

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healed, well, we can declare all day long, but if our heart isn't healed, we're not gonna, we're not

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gonna feel that transformation on the inside. Remember a declaration, that's something we're

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saying out of our mouth. We hear it, right, but it's outward. We need stuff that's changed on the

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inside so that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth is speaking and sometimes, you know, the

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world be like, just fake it till you make it. No, let's just get our hearts healed and actually

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believe the truth instead of the lie and live out of a place of rootedness and love, which is the

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opposite in my case of fear. Perfect love casts out all fear, so I had to grow in my understanding

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of God's love and his truth and so some of the truths that I want to give you tonight, I'm going

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to go ahead and stop my screen share for right now. I just wanted you guys to see that while I was

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talking through it and again, I have more truths, but here are just a few of them to help you if you

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are relating to this in some way tonight. You don't have to fear or be afraid, so that was one of my

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truths. I don't have to live in fear. I don't have to be afraid of all men or any men

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unless they're unhealthy men, but I don't have to be afraid of them. I need to be aware of them.

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I need to have healthy boundaries with them. Do you see the difference? The enemy a lot of times

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tries to use intimidation with me as well, which often partners with fear, so he sends people with

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these intimidating spirits to try to say or do things to even now still today intimidate me to

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get me to back down from being who God has called me to be. Hence when I preach and it's on our

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social media page and men will tell like make all these comments, not a bunch of men, but a couple

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about how women aren't supposed to preach and they just are they're talking out of context.

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They don't even know what they're talking about, but this is this is how the spirit of intimidation

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will try to keep coming back, but we can tell it where to go. All right, Isaiah 41 10 says,

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So do not fear for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen

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you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Let's just let's just think

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about that for a second. God is basically saying like, hey, you don't have to be afraid because I'm

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with you and not only am I with you, but I'm I'm lifting you up with my hand. Y'all that means he's

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pretty close to us. He's pretty close to us if he's lifting us up with his righteous right hand.

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Isaiah 41 13 says, for I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand. There's the right

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hand again and says to you do not fear. I will help you. I will help you. The right hand is often

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a sign of fellowship, y'all. It's a sign of fellowship. So I want you to see the level of

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connection that God is like establishing when he's telling us these things. He's not just saying

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don't be afraid. He's saying I am with you. Like I'm close to you. I'm in fellowship with you.

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That's how he wants to be with us. All right, here's my truth number two. I can trust God to

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protect me. And a lot of times the kickback I might get on this, and this is a real thing.

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Some of you all are walking through this right now. What do we do when in the physical realm

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there are people that are not treating us well right now? Maybe it's verbally what they're

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saying. Maybe physically what they're doing. We have some women in our community that are

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taking care of their moms and their moms are just like really mean. I'm just going to put it out

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there. And they're having to deal with this because they're their caregivers. Now we walk

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people through that, but I want you to understand it doesn't mean that God isn't trying to protect you.

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Just like when I was a kid, I do think God was trying to protect me.

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I think that my mom wasn't paying attention.

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And I love her, but I think she just was checked out.

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And I think that there were a lot of things that God was doing to try to help protect me from what was happening in my home.

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When I look back, like so many things, I can see the ways God was trying to protect me.

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And so a lot of times we partner with the lie that God really didn't care about us.

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Because if he did, why didn't he just stop them from abusing us?

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This is real stuff we deal with, right?

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But here's the reality.

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God loves everybody.

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And he gives us free will to choose.

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Everybody has free will to choose out of the goodness of his love of the way he created us to be.

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Because he is not a dominator, right?

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Remember, we choose to allow him to enter our hearts and our lives.

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We choose to respond when he stands at the door of our heart and he's knocking.

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We get to give him permission to enter our hearts and our lives.

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So he doesn't force his way on anybody.

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And unfortunately, with that free will, some people choose to do evil things.

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Okay?

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But the great thing about some of this, all of this, is God takes all of that,

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what he doesn't intend for evil, just like Genesis 50, 20 talks about,

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just like Joseph's story, you know, God never intended for those things to happen for Joseph.

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But he absolutely took them and he turned all of that around for good,

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not only to save Joseph, but to save many people alive.

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I don't believe God intended any of these things to happen to me.

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But I'm so grateful that God has given me an opportunity to heal

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and to share my story to help other people.

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There is purpose in my pain because I've given it to him.

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And so I want to encourage you all to come out of alignment with the lie

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that God didn't love you because, you know, if he did, he would have protected you,

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would have stopped them from, you know, mishandling the money

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or whatever the situation was.

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He would have stopped them from cheating on you.

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Well, everybody has a choice because he loves all of us.

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They chose, or you chose, if it was you as the offender,

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but God has great forgiveness.

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His grace is big. It's available to all of us.

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And don't we want grace and forgiveness? We do, right?

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So then why would we believe it's not available to someone else?

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You know, and back in the day, you all, I wanted vengeance.

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I did, if I'm being completely honest.

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I didn't understand a lot of this back then.

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But praise the Lord, I learned, and God says vengeance is his, it's not mine.

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And he'll deal with those situations and those people how he sees fit.

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Psalm 121, verse 7 and 8 says,

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Both now and forevermore.

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I was in worship this past Sunday, and this was so,

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it was just one of those moments like, yes, God, I believe.

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But he asked me a question.

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He said, do you believe that I have your back?

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And like, I do, I was like, right away, I was like, yeah, Lord, I do.

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And he's like, Bethany, do you really believe that I have your back?

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And, you know, sometimes God, when he asks you those questions,

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it's just like an automatic yes, but the reality is,

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there were some areas where I was starting to feel like God didn't have my back.

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And he was trying to show me those things during worship,

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because he wanted me to remember that he always has my back.

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Even when the enemy comes in like a flood, what does the word say?

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The word says that God will raise up a standard against him.

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That he will cause our enemies to flee seven ways.

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God is my defender. God is your defender.

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He wants to fight for us, but we have to give him permission to do so.

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The heart is a womb.

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We're going to talk about this very briefly before I get you all ready for a breakout session.

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As a reminder, I started building on this last week.

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You know, everything that goes into our heart is going to get reproduced.

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Remember, the heart is a womb.

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We talked last week about the heart being a pretender.

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You know, it's a liar.

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And then a puzzle, you know.

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So we have all this stuff going on in our hearts,

436
00:29:39.000 --> 00:29:43.000
and we have to remember that what we allow to get planted in there is going to get reproduced.

437
00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:49.000
So if we believe the lie, for example, in my life, that I have to be afraid of all men.

438
00:29:49.000 --> 00:29:52.000
Well, what's going to get reproduced?

439
00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:57.000
I'm going to be afraid all of the time of men.

440
00:29:57.000 --> 00:30:00.000
And so I have to come out of agreement with those...

441
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.240
those lies even though there are a lot of things in my life that told me that

442
00:30:03.240 --> 00:30:08.480
that was true. The enemy came every single one of those times without me

443
00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:16.400
even realizing it and he was like see men are bad men are bad men are bad you

444
00:30:16.400 --> 00:30:21.200
cannot be safe with men you have to be afraid and you all so many times I

445
00:30:21.200 --> 00:30:25.720
partnered with anxiety and fear because I just didn't know any better so I'm

446
00:30:25.720 --> 00:30:28.320
gonna encourage you to come out of agreement and alignment with fear

447
00:30:28.320 --> 00:30:34.560
tonight with anxiety with panic with worry whatever maybe your emotion is

448
00:30:34.560 --> 00:30:39.720
disappointment maybe it's you know depression coming out of other things

449
00:30:39.720 --> 00:30:45.720
depression really is you know a result of other emotions but you know a lot of

450
00:30:45.720 --> 00:30:50.400
people experience a lot of depression you know David spoke to his own spirit

451
00:30:50.400 --> 00:30:55.480
when he was feeling downcast oh my soul well I imagine that had to be like you

452
00:30:55.480 --> 00:30:59.000
know David was an emotional guy he had the ups and downs you just read the

453
00:30:59.000 --> 00:31:04.600
Psalms and you can you can recognize it but he said why are you downcast oh my

454
00:31:04.600 --> 00:31:10.480
soul hope in the Lord is it that easy all the time no it's not but of what I

455
00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:14.560
do know is that if we keep putting one foot in front of the other we get help

456
00:31:14.560 --> 00:31:19.200
when we need it extra help if we need it that God will help us to come out from

457
00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:23.480
under those heavy burdens and that oppression and the depression and the

458
00:31:23.480 --> 00:31:29.760
things that enemy tries to put on us and that we can move forward so what are

459
00:31:29.760 --> 00:31:32.640
you currently allowing to get planted in your heart I want you to think about

460
00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:37.760
that maybe even a friend that said something in passing that you in the

461
00:31:37.760 --> 00:31:43.680
last like week or two like oh shoot I didn't reject that thing even though I

462
00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:48.680
didn't feel like the truth but when they said it I just was like you're right

463
00:31:48.680 --> 00:31:54.600
they suck whatever you know whatever that is I don't know if you guys ever

464
00:31:54.600 --> 00:32:00.280
say that but sometimes I'm like Lord your sheep suck they're just really bad

465
00:32:00.280 --> 00:32:05.680
they're bad sheep I'm just being real as a pastor's wife this is sometimes the

466
00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:10.320
conversation I have with the Lord and then I'm like but I know you love them

467
00:32:10.320 --> 00:32:15.280
Lord so help me to love them the way that you love them doesn't mean I have

468
00:32:15.280 --> 00:32:20.960
to be okay with the things that they do or say I can set healthy boundaries but

469
00:32:20.960 --> 00:32:27.320
you know what I have to be real with how I feel first with the Lord so that he

470
00:32:27.320 --> 00:32:31.800
can what it what do we talk about in hard work feel the feels so that God can

471
00:32:31.800 --> 00:32:37.600
heal the feels if I don't even acknowledge how I really feel then am I

472
00:32:37.600 --> 00:32:44.280
even giving room for the Lord to come in and work in those places of my heart so

473
00:32:44.280 --> 00:32:48.440
this week I want y'all to slow down you know the pace of life is really fast

474
00:32:48.440 --> 00:32:53.600
it's fast fast fast I don't even know where last week went it went so fast so

475
00:32:53.600 --> 00:32:57.440
try to like slow slow things down a little bit in your life whatever that

476
00:32:57.440 --> 00:33:02.040
looks like for you maybe it's you know at the end of the night not talking to

477
00:33:02.040 --> 00:33:07.240
friends a lot on the phone via text or whatever but actually just maybe take a

478
00:33:07.240 --> 00:33:13.040
bath instead relax unwind maybe put some candles on and some soft music and just

479
00:33:13.120 --> 00:33:17.760
like rest some of y'all might fall asleep totally fine but like where

480
00:33:17.760 --> 00:33:23.880
you're just creating space for your spirit to hear things that God is saying

481
00:33:23.880 --> 00:33:29.200
maybe maybe turning the TV off I didn't want to do that on Saturday I was like

482
00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:33.080
my brain I had so much work to get done and it was overwhelming me so I just had

483
00:33:33.080 --> 00:33:37.240
the TV on for background noise and I kept hearing the word like you don't

484
00:33:37.240 --> 00:33:41.520
really need this on but I just I just kind of was like oh I still want to deal

485
00:33:41.520 --> 00:33:46.360
with all those things over there I don't want to so y'all I go through this

486
00:33:46.360 --> 00:33:53.720
too but the reality is is that stuff is still there if I don't deal with it so

487
00:33:53.720 --> 00:33:57.840
we just do our best and we unpack it so then we want to look at to what what

488
00:33:57.840 --> 00:34:02.400
kind of fruit are you producing out of your heart what's coming out of your

489
00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:07.680
heart God's standard of good is also different from our standard of good this

490
00:34:07.680 --> 00:34:11.400
is one of the things that it says in the heart workbook about this whole what is

491
00:34:11.400 --> 00:34:17.280
God's standard of good and you all I forgot on my book is packed away we're

492
00:34:17.280 --> 00:34:21.400
traveling right now or I would tell you what chapter 10 but just kind of listen

493
00:34:21.400 --> 00:34:26.360
and absorb it you'll find it when when you come across it in the book when God

494
00:34:26.360 --> 00:34:31.480
uses the word good he isn't talking about our human standard of good he is

495
00:34:31.480 --> 00:34:36.880
referring to his his standard of good so maybe you do have a little something

496
00:34:37.000 --> 00:34:42.800
working out but is it God's version of good yet there's an upgrade available in

497
00:34:42.800 --> 00:34:49.239
every area of our lives if we are willing to be shown what we cannot see

498
00:34:49.239 --> 00:34:58.880
yet so there is an upgrade available in every area of your life some of you yeah

499
00:34:58.880 --> 00:35:01.920
you didn't choose that

500
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.760
that divorce, but the reality is, is maybe this is a time where you can heal and you

501
00:35:05.760 --> 00:35:12.080
can grow and you can step into something way healthier than what you were in before.

502
00:35:12.080 --> 00:35:13.920
God has an upgrade for you.

503
00:35:13.920 --> 00:35:19.640
Are you willing to allow him to show you what his good, good life looks like?

504
00:35:19.640 --> 00:35:25.840
Your problem areas are the places you have the most unhealed wounds.

505
00:35:25.840 --> 00:35:30.640
So if you feel stuck in an area, that's a signal to you that there's unhealed wounds.

506
00:35:30.640 --> 00:35:35.280
If you have problem areas, things that you constantly struggle with, that's most likely

507
00:35:35.280 --> 00:35:38.160
unhealed wounds as well.

508
00:35:38.160 --> 00:35:43.840
Proverbs 23 7 in the amplified version says this, for as a person thinks in his heart,

509
00:35:43.840 --> 00:35:48.240
so is he.

510
00:35:48.240 --> 00:35:51.240
As a person thinks in his heart, so is he.

511
00:35:51.240 --> 00:35:57.160
So I want to talk really quickly about flies, lies, and counter counterfeit lives.

512
00:35:57.160 --> 00:36:02.400
Again, remember the flies will come in and they'll plant where they think there's a long

513
00:36:02.400 --> 00:36:06.500
term source of food for them.

514
00:36:06.500 --> 00:36:11.640
They plant themselves in decaying areas and then they, you know, lay eggs in there and

515
00:36:11.640 --> 00:36:15.560
then the eggs hatch and feed off of that area.

516
00:36:15.560 --> 00:36:23.240
So some of you all have what we call squatters in your hearts and lives.

517
00:36:23.240 --> 00:36:28.760
Squatters in our heart work last year, single community as a whole, our enemies to your

518
00:36:28.760 --> 00:36:31.840
breakthrough and progress.

519
00:36:31.840 --> 00:36:38.840
So if you're not familiar, a squatter is someone who comes into a home or a building because

520
00:36:38.840 --> 00:36:43.280
either a, they think nobody's home there, or they think the building's abandoned and

521
00:36:43.280 --> 00:36:45.760
then they like set up residence there.

522
00:36:45.760 --> 00:36:49.480
And in some states when it's winter time, let's say it's somebody, I'm just going to

523
00:36:49.480 --> 00:36:54.200
make this up, somebody in New York, maybe they were down in Florida and their Florida

524
00:36:54.200 --> 00:36:59.880
home where I live and their New York home was vacant and someone came and started living

525
00:36:59.880 --> 00:37:01.920
in their home in New York.

526
00:37:01.920 --> 00:37:08.120
Even when they come back to their home in New York, if it's cold out, I don't know,

527
00:37:08.120 --> 00:37:11.440
I don't really know the laws in New York, but I know this happens in some states.

528
00:37:11.600 --> 00:37:15.840
Again, I'm just kind of making this up, but I know it to be true because I've heard of

529
00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:17.000
it.

530
00:37:17.000 --> 00:37:21.200
They cannot evict those people.

531
00:37:21.200 --> 00:37:22.200
You want to know why?

532
00:37:22.200 --> 00:37:24.360
Because it's cold out.

533
00:37:24.360 --> 00:37:30.400
And even though that house doesn't belong to those people, they sometimes are not allowed

534
00:37:30.400 --> 00:37:31.840
to make them leave.

535
00:37:31.840 --> 00:37:34.040
I think that's interesting.

536
00:37:34.040 --> 00:37:38.200
So some of you all, the enemy's telling you this stuff, you're never going to get over

537
00:37:38.200 --> 00:37:39.980
it.

538
00:37:39.980 --> 00:37:41.620
For some of you, yes, I know.

539
00:37:41.620 --> 00:37:45.500
I know, Catherine, you didn't choose that divorce, but I do want to encourage you to

540
00:37:45.500 --> 00:37:50.540
start letting that go, okay?

541
00:37:50.540 --> 00:37:54.140
Because you can't change what's already happened.

542
00:37:54.140 --> 00:37:58.740
And sometimes we just get stuck on this, kind of like a broken record.

543
00:37:58.740 --> 00:38:00.820
We're just stuck on that.

544
00:38:00.820 --> 00:38:06.040
Back in the day, for those of you that have never had a record, once a record gets scratched,

545
00:38:06.040 --> 00:38:09.740
you can want to listen to that song all day long, but back in the day, that record did

546
00:38:09.740 --> 00:38:11.780
not play past that point.

547
00:38:11.780 --> 00:38:16.740
It got on that and it'd be like, boop, boop, and it'd just keep playing the broken area

548
00:38:16.740 --> 00:38:17.740
over and over.

549
00:38:17.740 --> 00:38:22.500
Well, that's what it's like sometimes when we're just like, we just, and it's subconsciously,

550
00:38:22.500 --> 00:38:26.820
we're not doing it on purpose, but where we're just like, I didn't choose that divorce.

551
00:38:26.820 --> 00:38:28.660
I didn't want that divorce.

552
00:38:28.660 --> 00:38:30.420
We have to move forward.

553
00:38:30.420 --> 00:38:34.220
We have to just like, okay, yes, that's true.

554
00:38:34.220 --> 00:38:35.220
But you know what?

555
00:38:35.220 --> 00:38:36.220
I'm ready to move forward.

556
00:38:36.220 --> 00:38:38.300
And I'm going to, I'm going to surrender that.

557
00:38:38.300 --> 00:38:39.940
I'm going to forgive that person.

558
00:38:39.940 --> 00:38:41.740
I'm going to move on.

559
00:38:41.740 --> 00:38:46.780
I'm going to even stop blaming them for the things that I'm stuck in now because of what

560
00:38:46.780 --> 00:38:47.780
they did.

561
00:38:47.780 --> 00:38:53.000
Y'all, my ex-husband did terrible things.

562
00:38:53.000 --> 00:38:58.020
He took my stepson from me who I helped raise and never let me see him again.

563
00:38:58.020 --> 00:39:02.140
Do you think I'm not like back in the day, I wasn't angry about that.

564
00:39:02.140 --> 00:39:03.140
Heck yeah.

565
00:39:03.140 --> 00:39:06.180
I hired a lawyer to see if there was anything I could do about it.

566
00:39:06.180 --> 00:39:07.180
There was nothing I could do.

567
00:39:07.180 --> 00:39:15.180
Cause I didn't have any biological right to him, but I was never going to be able to move

568
00:39:15.180 --> 00:39:16.180
forward.

569
00:39:16.180 --> 00:39:21.780
If all I did was keep looking back and blaming and getting mad is like, okay, I can feel

570
00:39:21.780 --> 00:39:24.620
what I feel, but I need to forgive.

571
00:39:24.620 --> 00:39:31.420
And I need to move on and moving on and healing is literally like one of the best things we

572
00:39:31.420 --> 00:39:32.420
can do.

573
00:39:32.420 --> 00:39:35.540
You know, the Bible talks about heaping coals of fire.

574
00:39:35.540 --> 00:39:37.140
But we love our enemies.

575
00:39:37.140 --> 00:39:38.300
We don't have to be around them.

576
00:39:38.300 --> 00:39:42.580
We don't have to like loving our enemies doesn't mean we just go right into relationship with

577
00:39:42.580 --> 00:39:43.580
them.

578
00:39:43.580 --> 00:39:47.700
Y'all loving our enemies can just be like, Lord, I pray that you would bless him, help

579
00:39:47.700 --> 00:39:51.840
me to forgive him and whatever, you know, and we move on.

580
00:39:51.840 --> 00:39:57.300
But when we live our lives and we're doing well, not that that's not that we do it so

581
00:39:57.300 --> 00:40:00.020
that they feel bad, but it.

582
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.520
is it's like a like a what did they call it um kind of like a supernatural law if you will

583
00:40:08.240 --> 00:40:13.920
it heaps it heaps coals of fire like regret and all these things on them because they see the

584
00:40:13.920 --> 00:40:21.280
truth for some people the deception may never lift but a lot of people they're like well i

585
00:40:21.280 --> 00:40:29.440
messed that one up they know even if they don't admit it so let's let's let these things go so

586
00:40:29.440 --> 00:40:34.240
that we can move forward but some of you all the squatters we gotta kick them out so i'm gonna i'm

587
00:40:34.240 --> 00:40:40.240
gonna give you some examples of squatters very quickly again there's so many more than this but

588
00:40:40.240 --> 00:40:46.960
i just want to get these out there so you can be thinking about them passivity so that means like

589
00:40:46.960 --> 00:40:54.880
we can be inactive unreactive inert so being passive is a squatter inferiority do you have

590
00:40:54.880 --> 00:40:59.440
an inferiority complex do you do you tend to struggle with never feeling good enough

591
00:40:59.440 --> 00:41:04.960
everybody's better than you you're treated like you're not you know equal cultural and family

592
00:41:04.960 --> 00:41:11.120
norms some of some of you were raised in very you know diverse cultures you know some of the things

593
00:41:11.120 --> 00:41:19.760
that you were raised around um you know for example um i know that a lot of and i hope i say

594
00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:24.080
this correctly because i never want to offend different ethnicities but i know in the asian

595
00:41:24.080 --> 00:41:29.920
culture a lot of individuals that i've coached um man their parents were really really hard on

596
00:41:29.920 --> 00:41:35.760
them academically and very kind of like uh authoritarian in the way they they raise their

597
00:41:35.760 --> 00:41:40.320
kids and i'm not saying all asian uh families are like that i'm just saying a lot that i've coached

598
00:41:40.320 --> 00:41:45.760
have been um i know that some of the ladies that have come from africa and things like that like

599
00:41:45.760 --> 00:41:50.240
you know or other areas i'm not even saying that this happens in africa necessarily but it just

600
00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:55.440
just came to mind as well but some areas where it is still normal to have more than one wife

601
00:41:55.440 --> 00:42:00.480
i mean there are some places in the world that that is still a normal thing or the women are

602
00:42:00.480 --> 00:42:05.920
treated like they're beneath the men you know so if those are some of the things you're culturally

603
00:42:05.920 --> 00:42:12.240
raised around and even within the u.s there are some things like we're raised with all different

604
00:42:12.240 --> 00:42:17.440
other kinds of cultural norms that just are not true and so those might be the squatters in your

605
00:42:17.440 --> 00:42:23.680
heart that need kicked out poverty mindsets lack mentality victimhood always the victim

606
00:42:25.360 --> 00:42:31.760
religious mindsets maybe maybe it's living in scarcity always believing that you're going to

607
00:42:31.760 --> 00:42:38.160
have less than i feel led to say this so i'm just going to go with it um back in the day i know this

608
00:42:38.160 --> 00:42:45.840
sounds like such a small thing but i didn't have a lot of money and i realized that my socks were

609
00:42:45.840 --> 00:42:50.880
getting holes in them or like my shirt like i would started noticing i went through this season

610
00:42:50.880 --> 00:42:54.800
where all of a sudden things had holes in them you ever go through that where you're just like

611
00:42:55.600 --> 00:43:00.720
why is everything wearing out so fast or you know wearing it's not it's not holding up like

612
00:43:00.720 --> 00:43:05.040
i remember them holding up before but i was going through a season that was like that

613
00:43:06.320 --> 00:43:11.280
and uh i kept wearing those socks with the holes in them or even the underwear with the hole in

614
00:43:11.280 --> 00:43:14.880
them or the shirt with the i just kept wearing them not like out and like when i was getting

615
00:43:14.880 --> 00:43:21.840
dressed up or whatever but the lord said to me the one day you need to stop that i'm like what

616
00:43:22.800 --> 00:43:28.800
and he's like every time you put those socks with holes on back on you're partnering with

617
00:43:28.800 --> 00:43:33.680
scarcity and it wasn't like i could never wear the socks with the holes but he was trying to

618
00:43:33.680 --> 00:43:40.080
show me something i didn't buy new because i didn't know if i would have to like i didn't

619
00:43:40.080 --> 00:43:44.240
know if i had enough money to keep replenishing them so i was just like well i'm just going to

620
00:43:44.240 --> 00:43:50.400
keep wearing them until they wear all the way out and god was just trying to show me even in like

621
00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:53.680
you all know i see some people nodding heads you wear the underwear with the holes

622
00:43:54.240 --> 00:44:01.040
y'all ladies it's time to get rid of that stuff you're upgrading you're upgrading your life and

623
00:44:01.040 --> 00:44:06.320
let's let the lord show us those things maybe maybe it's not even a physical thing that you're

624
00:44:06.320 --> 00:44:11.440
wearing on the outside maybe there's a hole somewhere on the inside where you've just kind

625
00:44:11.440 --> 00:44:15.840
of partnered with this thing where you just believe this is just how it this is as good as

626
00:44:15.840 --> 00:44:24.640
it gets for me if that is something that you're believing and you're partnering with

627
00:44:24.640 --> 00:44:28.400
it's going to cause you to settle for less than god's best for you

628
00:44:31.040 --> 00:44:35.040
y'all we just had someone we're raising money for our church we're believing for

629
00:44:35.040 --> 00:44:40.000
supernatural provision we just had someone hand us a ten thousand dollar check on sunday

630
00:44:40.960 --> 00:44:45.040
for some of you that might not sound like a lot of money but that was a lot of money for one sunday

631
00:44:45.040 --> 00:44:53.840
in our church for a specific thing god is doing something but for so many of us we're like well

632
00:44:53.840 --> 00:44:59.680
i wish that would happen to me i used to think like that too i would always be

633
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.800
frustrated when I would hear stories like that because it wasn't happening for me,

634
00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:09.760
because I partnered with something like I was an orphan and God wasn't going to bless me like

635
00:45:09.760 --> 00:45:14.720
He was blessing other people. And so when Jackie talks on Supernatural Saturday, I don't know if

636
00:45:14.720 --> 00:45:20.720
it was this past Saturday or two Saturdays ago, where we really struggle to actually genuinely

637
00:45:20.720 --> 00:45:26.560
celebrate other people's blessings. And some of us are like, Oh, I celebrate people all the time.

638
00:45:27.360 --> 00:45:35.760
But deep down, if we really get honest, a lot of us are like, that's just great.

639
00:45:37.680 --> 00:45:40.800
There she goes, she's having a baby, but I'm not having a baby.

640
00:45:42.800 --> 00:45:45.840
I've wanted a baby as long as I've I can remember you all.

641
00:45:48.000 --> 00:45:51.280
And in the season when I was trying to get pregnant after we got married,

642
00:45:51.280 --> 00:45:54.240
and this is not the first time I've gone around this mountain.

643
00:45:54.400 --> 00:46:00.400
Even friends that I was in high school with that are the same age as me got pregnant.

644
00:46:03.600 --> 00:46:08.400
But if I partner with not being happy for them, man, the enemy is getting me,

645
00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:12.880
he's taking me back into scarcity and poverty and lack and victim,

646
00:46:12.880 --> 00:46:18.080
and I am not going to live there. Okay, I have two more for you. Here's another two

647
00:46:19.040 --> 00:46:24.160
for the squatters. I want to make sure that everybody understands what I'm talking about.

648
00:46:24.800 --> 00:46:30.160
So addictive, addictive things, maybe wanting medication, maybe wanting to drink to hide

649
00:46:30.160 --> 00:46:34.880
from feelings, maybe it's watching too much TV, like I even referenced earlier,

650
00:46:34.880 --> 00:46:39.360
where we're like becoming addicted to things. Some of us are addicted to our phones. I had a

651
00:46:39.360 --> 00:46:43.680
conversation with someone last night, addicted to just scrolling on her phone, even though she

652
00:46:44.160 --> 00:46:47.840
knows she needs to stop. We need to be aware of those things. The last one I'm going to mention

653
00:46:47.840 --> 00:46:55.200
tonight is bitterness. Okay, maybe some of you have bitterness and resentment and unforgiveness

654
00:46:55.200 --> 00:47:01.920
in your heart, and it's time to kick that stuff out. It's time to serve the squatters in eviction

655
00:47:01.920 --> 00:47:06.720
notice. Okay, so what you're going to talk about tonight, the squatters is going to be a part of

656
00:47:06.720 --> 00:47:11.360
your activation work for this week. So we're going to talk about that, but we're going to talk about

657
00:47:11.840 --> 00:47:20.080
that in the group. Your question for tonight is, what is a negative emotion or memory that as I was

658
00:47:20.080 --> 00:47:27.440
going through that revealing for healing cycle that came up for you? It could be an emotion,

659
00:47:27.440 --> 00:47:33.280
a trauma story, a painful memory, anything from your life that came up, and I want to encourage

660
00:47:33.280 --> 00:47:40.640
you to share that with your sister in the breakout session. Give me one, hopefully a minute, we'll

661
00:47:40.640 --> 00:47:52.640
get these set up quick. Okay, I think that's good. All right, we're going to do this short,

662
00:47:52.640 --> 00:47:57.040
brief, and powerful. I'm putting two people in a room, so that gives you all, we're doing six

663
00:47:57.040 --> 00:48:01.600
minutes, three minutes each. Be short, brief, and powerful. Be aware of who's in your room,

664
00:48:01.600 --> 00:48:05.920
and really watching how long you're talking. Go ahead and click to join those really quick,

665
00:48:06.640 --> 00:48:10.400
because you'll end up having about five and a half minutes really, depending on how quickly

666
00:48:10.400 --> 00:48:14.720
you get in there. All right, go ahead and click to join those as quick as you can.

667
00:48:15.600 --> 00:48:18.720
Once we get everybody set up in the rooms, I'll start to pray.

668
00:48:18.720 --> 00:48:38.240
All right, Laura, we just thank you so much for this night. We thank you for everything that

669
00:48:38.240 --> 00:48:43.600
you're doing. God, help us to hear what your spirit is saying. Help us to recognize

670
00:48:44.320 --> 00:48:50.960
the revealings for healing that you want to show us. Help us to go into all truth,

671
00:48:50.960 --> 00:48:55.280
Lord, and that you would anoint us for all of our lives and walk in calling. That you

672
00:48:55.280 --> 00:49:04.720
would lead us deeper into Jesus in each moment. Help us, Lord, just to see the areas where in

673
00:49:04.720 --> 00:49:10.480
the past there's been darkness and deception, where the enemy has been able to rule and reign

674
00:49:10.480 --> 00:49:15.440
in our hearts and our lives. I thank you, God, that you would bring light, great light,

675
00:49:15.440 --> 00:49:22.720
into those dark areas. I thank you, God, that you're just reminding us tonight that you're

676
00:49:22.720 --> 00:49:27.840
a good father who brings good gifts to your children. God, that you care about everything

677
00:49:27.840 --> 00:49:33.440
that has happened to us, that it broke your heart when we were going through trauma and pain and

678
00:49:33.440 --> 00:49:39.200
loss, and that you are a good father who's also weaving all things back together, that you're

679
00:49:39.200 --> 00:49:44.800
bringing the broken pieces together, and that you want to create a masterpiece out of the mess

680
00:49:44.800 --> 00:49:49.520
and the brokenness of our hearts and our lives. God, I thank you that the ladies would just sense

681
00:49:49.520 --> 00:49:56.320
tonight just your grace entering the room in a fresh way. Lord, I thank you that your word declares

682
00:49:57.920 --> 00:49:59.920
that you would hide us under the shadow

683
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.040
of your wings, that we can rest in you, Lord.

684
00:50:03.040 --> 00:50:06.520
So I'm asking you to help them to recognize your grace

685
00:50:06.520 --> 00:50:08.400
that is sufficient for them,

686
00:50:08.400 --> 00:50:12.040
God, that you would help them to lean on you,

687
00:50:12.040 --> 00:50:15.360
to trust in you, to lift them out of the miry clay

688
00:50:15.360 --> 00:50:17.320
and to set their feet upon the rock.

689
00:50:19.020 --> 00:50:23.440
Psalm 119, verse 76 in the Passion Translation says this,

690
00:50:23.440 --> 00:50:28.440
send your kind mercy kiss to comfort me, your servant,

691
00:50:28.680 --> 00:50:32.120
your servant, just like you promised that you would.

692
00:50:33.280 --> 00:50:36.120
So God, I thank you that even tonight

693
00:50:36.120 --> 00:50:39.240
that your mercy would just kind of come down

694
00:50:39.240 --> 00:50:42.240
and kiss the hearts, their minds, the spirits,

695
00:50:42.240 --> 00:50:45.240
the bodies and souls of your daughters

696
00:50:45.240 --> 00:50:47.720
in a supernatural way that you would help us

697
00:50:47.720 --> 00:50:49.280
to be able to receive everything

698
00:50:49.280 --> 00:50:51.440
that you're trying to give us.

699
00:50:51.440 --> 00:50:54.480
God, that we would not come from a position of lack

700
00:50:54.480 --> 00:50:57.680
or belief that you're withholding from us,

701
00:50:57.720 --> 00:50:59.320
that we would come out of agreement,

702
00:50:59.320 --> 00:51:01.920
alignment with those kinds of lies.

703
00:51:01.920 --> 00:51:03.160
And we would come into agreement,

704
00:51:03.160 --> 00:51:04.280
alignment with the truth

705
00:51:04.280 --> 00:51:07.200
that you have more than enough for us.

706
00:51:07.200 --> 00:51:09.440
And not only do you have more than enough for us,

707
00:51:09.440 --> 00:51:13.300
that you want to give it to us at the right time

708
00:51:13.300 --> 00:51:16.620
when we are able to receive it in its fullness.

709
00:51:17.820 --> 00:51:19.760
Yes, Lord, I thank you for the reminder

710
00:51:19.760 --> 00:51:23.880
that sometimes Lord, we want to receive your blessing,

711
00:51:23.880 --> 00:51:25.760
but we're not quite ready to stand up

712
00:51:25.760 --> 00:51:27.320
under the weight of it.

713
00:51:27.960 --> 00:51:30.640
Ladies, the reality is, is that relationships,

714
00:51:30.640 --> 00:51:33.040
marriage takes teamwork.

715
00:51:33.040 --> 00:51:37.040
It takes having a foundation that when we're healthy,

716
00:51:37.040 --> 00:51:40.160
the foundation and the blessing of marriage,

717
00:51:40.160 --> 00:51:44.080
the weight of marriage can be built upon that foundation.

718
00:51:44.080 --> 00:51:46.540
And so just praying that God would help you

719
00:51:46.540 --> 00:51:49.560
to see the importance of the healing work

720
00:51:49.560 --> 00:51:52.280
and giving God time and space

721
00:51:52.280 --> 00:51:55.440
to build a healthy foundation first and foremost in you

722
00:51:55.440 --> 00:51:59.280
so that you can come into partnership with a spirit mate

723
00:51:59.280 --> 00:52:00.880
who's also healthy

724
00:52:02.640 --> 00:52:05.560
and then walk out God's plan and destiny for you all

725
00:52:05.560 --> 00:52:08.200
as individuals, as well as a couple.

726
00:52:08.200 --> 00:52:11.200
Psalm 1 verse 3 in the Passion Translation says this,

727
00:52:11.200 --> 00:52:13.880
he will be standing firm like a flourishing tree

728
00:52:13.880 --> 00:52:15.920
planted by God's design,

729
00:52:15.920 --> 00:52:18.440
deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss,

730
00:52:18.440 --> 00:52:22.920
bearing fruit in every season of his life.

731
00:52:22.920 --> 00:52:26.280
He is never dry, never fainting,

732
00:52:26.280 --> 00:52:29.440
ever blessed, ever prosperous.

733
00:52:29.440 --> 00:52:32.480
Do you believe that you are ever blessed,

734
00:52:32.480 --> 00:52:33.980
that you are ever prosperous,

735
00:52:33.980 --> 00:52:35.840
that you are prosperous in everything

736
00:52:35.840 --> 00:52:37.720
that you put your hand to do?

737
00:52:37.720 --> 00:52:40.200
If not, I believe that's a revealing for healing

738
00:52:40.200 --> 00:52:42.040
for you tonight as well,

739
00:52:42.040 --> 00:52:44.640
that God wants to show you why,

740
00:52:44.640 --> 00:52:47.600
what are the lies that you're believing

741
00:52:47.600 --> 00:52:50.220
that lead you to feel that life is dry,

742
00:52:50.220 --> 00:52:52.280
that it's like a dead end road

743
00:52:52.280 --> 00:52:54.480
and no matter how hard you try,

744
00:52:54.480 --> 00:52:57.120
it's like you get in the car and the car doesn't start,

745
00:52:57.120 --> 00:53:00.000
but that's even some of those kinds of things

746
00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:02.880
are lies that we believe that we're never gonna get unstuck.

747
00:53:02.880 --> 00:53:03.920
Well, that's not true.

748
00:53:03.920 --> 00:53:07.120
If we heal, God will help us to come out of those places

749
00:53:07.120 --> 00:53:09.740
and spaces and walk into the fullness of his plans

750
00:53:09.740 --> 00:53:11.080
and promises for us.

751
00:53:12.800 --> 00:53:15.160
So Lord, I just pray that you would reveal the areas,

752
00:53:15.160 --> 00:53:18.320
even right now, where we have lies,

753
00:53:18.320 --> 00:53:20.060
we have a limiting belief systems

754
00:53:20.060 --> 00:53:21.760
or things that we have partnered with

755
00:53:22.280 --> 00:53:23.720
because the pain of our past,

756
00:53:24.680 --> 00:53:26.460
help us to recognize those lies,

757
00:53:26.460 --> 00:53:27.840
that things would start to bubble up

758
00:53:27.840 --> 00:53:29.320
even more throughout this week,

759
00:53:29.320 --> 00:53:31.620
not just tonight, but in the week to come,

760
00:53:31.620 --> 00:53:33.140
that we would have connections,

761
00:53:33.140 --> 00:53:36.360
divine dots being like connected

762
00:53:36.360 --> 00:53:37.580
one after another, after another,

763
00:53:37.580 --> 00:53:39.520
and that even memories,

764
00:53:39.520 --> 00:53:41.200
I just feel like I hear the Lord saying,

765
00:53:41.200 --> 00:53:43.120
memories long forgotten.

766
00:53:44.380 --> 00:53:46.840
Lord, if it's beneficial for the ladies to remember,

767
00:53:46.840 --> 00:53:48.360
God, I thank you that you would reveal

768
00:53:48.360 --> 00:53:51.840
these memories to them so that they can heal

769
00:53:51.840 --> 00:53:54.500
and be restored in every one of these areas.

770
00:53:54.500 --> 00:53:56.840
I thank you, God, for restitution

771
00:53:56.840 --> 00:54:00.640
and areas where things have been stolen or taken from them.

772
00:54:00.640 --> 00:54:01.800
I think I prayed this last week,

773
00:54:01.800 --> 00:54:03.720
but I'm hearing it again in my spirit.

774
00:54:03.720 --> 00:54:06.360
If the innocence was taken, God, I'm asking

775
00:54:06.360 --> 00:54:09.660
and I'm thanking you for innocence being restored,

776
00:54:09.660 --> 00:54:12.280
redeemed, restitution to come.

777
00:54:12.280 --> 00:54:13.980
God, I thank you that you,

778
00:54:15.120 --> 00:54:17.280
yeah, that you're just gentle and you're kind.

779
00:54:17.280 --> 00:54:19.220
You are faithful and you are good.

780
00:54:21.480 --> 00:54:23.160
I'm trying to decide what else I want.

781
00:54:23.160 --> 00:54:25.560
I want to read one more here.

782
00:54:25.560 --> 00:54:28.240
Luke chapter eight, verses 17 through 19,

783
00:54:28.240 --> 00:54:30.600
says this in the Passion Translation.

784
00:54:30.600 --> 00:54:33.320
Because this revelation lamp now shines within you,

785
00:54:33.320 --> 00:54:34.720
nothing will be hidden from you.

786
00:54:34.720 --> 00:54:36.880
It will all be revealed.

787
00:54:36.880 --> 00:54:39.040
Every secret of the kingdom will be unveiled

788
00:54:39.040 --> 00:54:42.200
and out in the open, made known by the revelation light.

789
00:54:42.200 --> 00:54:45.000
So pay careful attention to your hearts

790
00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:46.080
as you hear my teaching.

791
00:54:46.920 --> 00:54:48.000
If you have open hearts,

792
00:54:48.000 --> 00:54:51.080
even more revelation will be given to them

793
00:54:51.080 --> 00:54:53.640
until it overflows.

794
00:54:53.640 --> 00:54:55.140
Until it overflows, ladies.

795
00:54:55.140 --> 00:54:57.520
I'm going to actually pause there and not read verse 19

796
00:54:57.520 --> 00:54:58.560
because y'all are back.

797
00:54:58.560 --> 00:54:59.400
Welcome back.

798
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.120
pray into that. If you guys want to go back and hear the things that I was

799
00:55:04.120 --> 00:55:06.760
praying and saying while you were in breakout, you can check that out in the

800
00:55:06.760 --> 00:55:10.960
replay. But God is saying he's gonna make those things that are not known, he will

801
00:55:10.960 --> 00:55:15.880
make them known. And it will be to a point of overflowing. And so that's a

802
00:55:15.880 --> 00:55:21.320
good thing so that we can step into healing. Alright, welcome back. I already

803
00:55:21.320 --> 00:55:25.400
kind of alluded to what our activation is for this week. I'm gonna put a post up

804
00:55:25.400 --> 00:55:28.520
in the group. You're gonna you're gonna really be praying into what are your

805
00:55:28.520 --> 00:55:33.160
squatters. What are the squatters that need evicting this week that you're like

806
00:55:33.160 --> 00:55:37.960
okay, like I recognize what squatters I have and I'm serving an eviction notice

807
00:55:37.960 --> 00:55:42.320
and I'm kicking these suckers out this week. Alright, so that's what your

808
00:55:42.320 --> 00:55:45.120
activation post. I'll put the instructions in there. You guys can read

809
00:55:45.120 --> 00:55:50.280
them. There's a little bit more and we will go right into our group coaching

810
00:55:50.280 --> 00:55:53.760
because I want to I want to go ahead and kind of dive in so we have time. So if

811
00:55:53.760 --> 00:55:57.160
anyone's willing to share with the whole group what you shared in the breakout

812
00:55:57.240 --> 00:56:00.720
session, Lisa can kick us off and then we'll go from there.

813
00:56:01.840 --> 00:56:06.520
Okay, um, so while you're talking earlier, Bethany, the something

814
00:56:06.520 --> 00:56:10.720
immediately came to my mind, which was my brother. When I was like in sixth

815
00:56:10.720 --> 00:56:14.800
grade, my brother came home early and nobody else was home and he brought a

816
00:56:14.800 --> 00:56:19.640
friend and he pinned me up against the wall and he put his hand around my neck

817
00:56:19.640 --> 00:56:24.360
and told me he was gonna kill me if I didn't give him all my money. And so I

818
00:56:24.360 --> 00:56:29.000
had a piggy bank of like $100 from doing chores. And so I gave it to him.

819
00:56:29.000 --> 00:56:33.520
And then like, I never told my family even to this day, like, nobody knows.

820
00:56:33.880 --> 00:56:39.240
And, um, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and so when you were talking, and I've thought

821
00:56:39.240 --> 00:56:42.960
about this before, I think I have processed this and part of this, the

822
00:56:42.960 --> 00:56:47.000
whole journey of being in last year single, is that my mom definitely

823
00:56:47.000 --> 00:56:51.240
covets money and my dad who's passed away now and my brother also passed

824
00:56:51.240 --> 00:56:57.560
away. And my dad always worked really hard and stressed about money. So money

825
00:56:57.560 --> 00:57:03.200
did not have a good, you know, I looked at it like, you know, like money was

826
00:57:03.200 --> 00:57:06.120
more important than your own life, because I was like threatened to be

827
00:57:06.120 --> 00:57:10.680
killed, you know, my mom covets it. And, you know, I wasn't raised in the

828
00:57:10.680 --> 00:57:14.520
Christian household. So she didn't have awareness of, you know, that it's a

829
00:57:14.520 --> 00:57:18.680
whole security thing for her, but it's false security. And she'll do anything

830
00:57:18.680 --> 00:57:22.360
pretty much to get it. And so it's really annoying. And then my dad just

831
00:57:22.360 --> 00:57:26.440
really stressed. And it's been an area of my life where like, I've always been

832
00:57:26.440 --> 00:57:31.600
really hand to mouth. And my first job out of high school, the management there

833
00:57:31.600 --> 00:57:34.920
was really not good. And it was a corporation. And I told myself, I'll

834
00:57:34.920 --> 00:57:37.800
never work for a corporation. Again, I'll never be treated like that. You

835
00:57:37.800 --> 00:57:42.200
know, I wasn't saved yet. So that was like a word curse, right? So I have a

836
00:57:42.200 --> 00:57:46.600
lot of awareness. But I do want to tell you that from last week's heart check

837
00:57:46.600 --> 00:57:53.040
and call the very next day, Bethany, I started making major progress and

838
00:57:53.040 --> 00:57:55.720
applying to get myself to Carmel.

839
00:57:56.280 --> 00:58:01.400
I love it. I love it. You seem excited even talking about it. So I can't wait.

840
00:58:01.400 --> 00:58:04.840
I cannot wait to hear where this is going to lead. I think this is really

841
00:58:04.840 --> 00:58:08.640
good. And here, here, here's something that's really important. I think also

842
00:58:08.640 --> 00:58:13.360
you making progress towards that now you have this memory, excuse me, this

843
00:58:13.360 --> 00:58:16.400
memory that popped up that you haven't thought of this whole time you've been

844
00:58:16.400 --> 00:58:20.480
in heartwork. So I want to encourage you to forgive that, forgive the

845
00:58:20.480 --> 00:58:24.200
brother, forgive the friend, all the things, make sure you do forgiveness

846
00:58:24.200 --> 00:58:28.800
prayer sheet on that. You know, forgiving your parents and even your mom, your

847
00:58:28.800 --> 00:58:33.080
mom tends to be that contention point for you, you know, forgiving her for

848
00:58:33.080 --> 00:58:40.920
coveting money. And really, I want to encourage you to start thanking God for

849
00:58:41.840 --> 00:58:46.160
what I, what I'm hearing is a new relationship, like between you and

850
00:58:46.160 --> 00:58:52.440
money. Oh, yeah. And so a lot of times we, you know, we think all the time in

851
00:58:52.440 --> 00:58:57.440
terms of relationship with people, which is common, right? But a lot of us don't

852
00:58:57.440 --> 00:59:01.120
think about what, like, what is our relationship with money? What is our

853
00:59:01.120 --> 00:59:06.120
relationship with, like belongings, you know, and if there's a cycle where

854
00:59:06.120 --> 00:59:10.080
something keeps happening, or we're seeing like, even tonight, this is this

855
00:59:10.080 --> 00:59:14.720
is kind of maybe the root here, maybe it was before this. But this guy like

856
00:59:14.720 --> 00:59:18.640
choked you and said, give me all your money. And then when you see the stress

857
00:59:18.640 --> 00:59:22.040
around money, mom's coveting money, there's all these negative feelings

858
00:59:22.040 --> 00:59:26.400
around money. And then one of the things that you've struggled is with the work

859
00:59:26.400 --> 00:59:31.520
and like really feeling successful regarding money. So I believe God wants

860
00:59:31.520 --> 00:59:36.320
to give you a new relationship, a new understanding of money. He wants to heal

861
00:59:36.360 --> 00:59:42.880
all that stuff, and help you to know not just how to be in a good space, but how

862
00:59:42.880 --> 00:59:47.360
to thrive there, like how to have access, which I don't think it's a mistake that

863
00:59:47.360 --> 00:59:51.560
I as you guys were coming back, I was even though it was a different context.

864
00:59:52.200 --> 00:59:57.400
You know, that scripture was talking about overflow. God wants to teach us

865
00:59:57.400 --> 00:59:59.960
how to live in the overflow, even when the world

866
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.120
You know, the Bible talks about even when the world is all this chaos is going on,

867
01:00:05.120 --> 01:00:10.000
that God will cause the people that have the money to give it to the church.

868
01:00:10.880 --> 01:00:14.480
Well, the church isn't just a church building, you all. It's us.

869
01:00:15.360 --> 01:00:21.600
So, but we have to be ready to receive it. Whether the blessing is a spirit mate,

870
01:00:21.600 --> 01:00:25.760
whether the blessing is the finances that God wants to send us, whether the blessing is a

871
01:00:25.760 --> 01:00:30.480
new house, like preparing our hearts and healing so we can receive it.

872
01:00:30.480 --> 01:00:37.440
So be sure to process that stuff. Keep us posted about this whole new thing happening.

873
01:00:37.440 --> 01:00:42.160
I'm excited for you. I can feel, I can feel your excitement just through your smile.

874
01:00:42.160 --> 01:00:46.160
That makes me so happy. I feel very happy seeing that for you.

875
01:00:46.720 --> 01:00:50.240
And so keep us posted on how that goes. Yeah.

876
01:00:50.240 --> 01:00:52.720
Yeah. I wanted to share one last thing really quick.

877
01:00:52.720 --> 01:00:57.200
So that person that threatened my life was my brother, not just some guy.

878
01:00:57.200 --> 01:01:00.720
Okay. I thought it was your brother, but you also mentioned he brought a friend in the house.

879
01:01:00.720 --> 01:01:05.440
So I just wasn't sure on that. So, but yes, definitely. And interestingly enough,

880
01:01:06.400 --> 01:01:10.560
now that you say that something I just feel led to share. So, you know, I had a lot of fear around

881
01:01:10.560 --> 01:01:19.280
men. My younger of my two brothers, who also was an abuser of mine, he used to sneak in my room and

882
01:01:19.280 --> 01:01:25.600
steal my money when I was, when I was even like a teenager. And so I always had to hide my money,

883
01:01:25.600 --> 01:01:31.760
had to lock it up. I had to like store it in places. And so for a long time, and even in my,

884
01:01:31.760 --> 01:01:36.640
into my marriage, you all, I have this fear of letting go of control regarding money.

885
01:01:37.760 --> 01:01:41.600
Because there's this underlying belief system. I still have to work through that.

886
01:01:43.520 --> 01:01:47.520
Like something's going to happen to my husband and I'm not going to have the money I need,

887
01:01:47.520 --> 01:01:53.920
or that if I give, like, if I give all control, because my ex-husband abused me financially,

888
01:01:53.920 --> 01:01:58.560
that, that it's not going to go well. And so dealing with this stuff now lays as much as you

889
01:01:58.560 --> 01:02:02.160
can. Like I said, some healing isn't going to happen until you're in relationship, just like

890
01:02:02.160 --> 01:02:07.760
I'm talking about some of these things have been revealed after I got remarried, but I did do a lot

891
01:02:07.760 --> 01:02:13.120
of work around finances, even before I came into this marriage and this, this relationship and then

892
01:02:13.120 --> 01:02:19.200
marriage. So be, be working on those things. Sorry, I'm getting a little feedback. And that

893
01:02:19.200 --> 01:02:24.320
will be really, really good. Lisa, thank you so much for sharing that with us tonight. Bless you.

894
01:02:24.320 --> 01:02:29.120
Looking forward to hearing more testimonies in the days ahead. All right, Haley, go ahead.

895
01:02:33.440 --> 01:02:39.760
Um, okay. So we were talking about a lot of what you were talking about with fear resonated with

896
01:02:39.760 --> 01:02:48.560
me. Um, and I realized that a lot of it comes more from my, um, my dad. He, um, just through his own

897
01:02:48.560 --> 01:02:54.000
upbringing, I know hasn't dealt with a lot of the abuse he went through. And so he was never an

898
01:02:54.000 --> 01:03:00.160
emotionally safe parent of mine. Um, and like one of the specific memories I have was when I was in

899
01:03:00.160 --> 01:03:08.080
college, um, something random had broken on my car that needed to get towed. Um, and so anything

900
01:03:08.080 --> 01:03:14.800
that was ever inconvenienced or like a small issue or not my fault, like somehow got twisted

901
01:03:14.800 --> 01:03:20.480
into our fault. Um, and we, I dealt with a lot of like getting yelled at and blamed for things.

902
01:03:20.480 --> 01:03:27.920
And so, um, I just remember sitting in the car and like being yelled at and having obviously crying,

903
01:03:27.920 --> 01:03:34.560
um, and like being made fun of for crying for having that, that emotion back. Um, and so we

904
01:03:34.560 --> 01:03:39.280
were talking about that and like how that's bled into other areas. Like, um, you know, if you're

905
01:03:39.280 --> 01:03:43.840
working, like if I'm working, I, and the boss is like, Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? Like

906
01:03:43.840 --> 01:03:49.440
my stomach drops, like, am I in trouble? Like, what did I do? Um, and that kind of thing. So.

907
01:03:51.120 --> 01:03:58.320
Thank you so much for sharing that. Um, so two things, um, well, three things, make sure

908
01:03:58.960 --> 01:04:02.480
that even if you've already done a forgiveness prayer sheet regarding your dad, it came up

909
01:04:02.480 --> 01:04:05.920
again tonight. So I would encourage you to go ahead and do another one. If you've already done

910
01:04:05.920 --> 01:04:14.640
one, sorry, I was just looking for you on my screen. Um, and so that's number one, number two,

911
01:04:15.760 --> 01:04:22.160
there's, there's a couple layers here, Haley. Um, the first thing that I want to go kind of

912
01:04:22.160 --> 01:04:29.440
after a little bit is the being made fun of for crying. Um, because if this is showing up in

913
01:04:29.440 --> 01:04:34.080
other areas of your life, this will be something that will probably try to follow you into

914
01:04:34.080 --> 01:04:40.640
relationship and marriage and even with other people. Um, so when you have emotion in the days

915
01:04:40.640 --> 01:04:47.440
ahead, I want you to work on not hiding that. Okay. Okay. And kind of, you know, even if it

916
01:04:47.440 --> 01:04:53.600
feels uncomfortable, like, I don't know if you ever struggle with this, but I didn't feel safe

917
01:04:53.600 --> 01:04:59.840
crying in my home. And so I would go and hide in the garage behind the garage. Um,

918
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.320
you know, inside of a home, if I felt really overwhelmed, I would find like a place where I

919
01:05:04.320 --> 01:05:09.600
could kind of like a small spot that felt safe for me. Because I think those are things I did

920
01:05:09.600 --> 01:05:14.480
as a kid. And so even as an adult, I would revert back to some of that stuff. And that would be

921
01:05:14.480 --> 01:05:18.800
where I would like if I needed to cry, that's where I would do it. And so I've had to learn

922
01:05:18.800 --> 01:05:26.320
how to, I remember the first movie I watched with Brian and y'all I'm like, I can cry at

923
01:05:26.320 --> 01:05:33.520
commercials, I'm not kidding. Like, my heart is pretty tender. But God made me that way.

924
01:05:34.080 --> 01:05:40.240
See, as a kid that wasn't valued very much. And even when my grandfather died, who was like my

925
01:05:40.240 --> 01:05:46.720
dad, my brother, my oldest brother, who was my main abuser at the funeral was like, you need to

926
01:05:46.720 --> 01:05:51.920
pull yourself together. And by this time, praise the Lord, I was already saved, I'd already healed

927
01:05:51.920 --> 01:05:57.200
enough and had enough strength to stand up for myself. I looked at him and I'm like, I'm gonna

928
01:05:57.200 --> 01:06:03.920
cry if I want to. And I just like walked away. Like he wasn't gonna tell me what to do. But it

929
01:06:03.920 --> 01:06:10.480
took me a long time to get to that point. So I had to recognize, like, that was a bully showing up

930
01:06:11.040 --> 01:06:16.240
through my brother. You know what I'm saying? And so recognizing those things. But when I watched

931
01:06:16.240 --> 01:06:20.720
this movie with Brian, we were still dating at the time. And it was like an emotional movie.

932
01:06:21.360 --> 01:06:26.800
And I remember like, oh, gosh, I don't want him to see me cry. And I was trying to hold the tears in.

933
01:06:27.760 --> 01:06:34.400
And then then what happened is, I looked over and he was getting emotional, too.

934
01:06:35.520 --> 01:06:40.800
And I was like, Are you crying? And he's like, I'm not crying, you're crying. And so then it became

935
01:06:40.800 --> 01:06:49.280
this kind of like, lighthearted, like fun thing. And so I'm not saying it always works out like

936
01:06:49.280 --> 01:06:54.240
that with everyone. But I hope all of you find someone like that, that you can just be yourself

937
01:06:54.240 --> 01:07:00.560
and not hide your emotions from people. And so work on that not hiding your emotions, whatever

938
01:07:00.560 --> 01:07:08.800
those are, you know, and processing that out. And then my question for you is, how is the dynamic

939
01:07:08.800 --> 01:07:15.920
with your dad today? Is he still alive? Are you guys connected? No, we're still connected. I'd

940
01:07:15.920 --> 01:07:23.200
say we have a decent relationship. Okay. But I like I was saying in our group, like I still like

941
01:07:23.200 --> 01:07:28.720
if he calls, like my stomach will still drop doesn't matter what it's about. There's still

942
01:07:28.720 --> 01:07:36.960
like that like, initial like, Oh, gosh, is he going to be upset? So when is the first time

943
01:07:36.960 --> 01:07:42.720
and if you don't remember tonight, it's okay. When is the first time you remember feeling

944
01:07:43.280 --> 01:07:50.400
yelled at? Because what you explained to me was when something happens, even when it's like,

945
01:07:50.400 --> 01:07:56.720
you can't help it. Something happens. In this instance, the car was broke. So I would

946
01:07:56.720 --> 01:08:02.400
forgive your dad for this situation in particular. Okay. Do you ever get his prayer sheet forgiven for

947
01:08:02.400 --> 01:08:07.040
this college situation? Because it sounds like that was pretty extensive to the point that you

948
01:08:07.040 --> 01:08:11.680
then said he was making fun of you for crying and the whole all of that. But I want you to ask the

949
01:08:12.480 --> 01:08:21.120
Lord when is the first time my dad yelled at me for something that I couldn't like control.

950
01:08:23.279 --> 01:08:29.120
So for example, in this situation, you couldn't control the car breaking necessarily. Okay. And

951
01:08:29.120 --> 01:08:35.520
even even let's just say sometimes there maybe we could have gotten it service maybe. But like,

952
01:08:35.520 --> 01:08:41.120
when we're young, we're learning we don't, we don't always know how to do all those things.

953
01:08:41.680 --> 01:08:47.920
But sometimes the parents are like, treat us like we should just know, like osmosis, we just get it,

954
01:08:48.479 --> 01:08:54.000
you know, but some of them were treated that way by their parents. And so then they're repeating,

955
01:08:54.000 --> 01:08:58.720
it doesn't make it okay, but they're repeating what they learned. So we want to know what,

956
01:08:58.720 --> 01:09:03.600
like from the Lord, Lord, when is the first time I felt this way with my dad?

957
01:09:05.120 --> 01:09:10.720
Okay, where I felt like something like that happened, whether it's something you did,

958
01:09:10.720 --> 01:09:15.760
or it's just something that happened, where he felt because word you used,

959
01:09:15.760 --> 01:09:19.120
and this really stood out to me, he was inconvenienced.

960
01:09:22.479 --> 01:09:25.840
I feel like that's going to be kind of a key there, because for you to bring that up,

961
01:09:25.840 --> 01:09:32.319
because you said, when it's an inconvenience to him, then he yells at you, he blames you,

962
01:09:32.319 --> 01:09:37.040
then he makes fun of you. So it's this kind of cycle. So my guess is this has probably happened

963
01:09:37.040 --> 01:09:42.160
quite a bit for you to get to the point that even now today, you're telling me you guys have

964
01:09:42.160 --> 01:09:48.160
a better relationship, but your body is telling you that you don't feel safe with him. Because

965
01:09:48.160 --> 01:09:52.960
that's why you feel that that kind of pit in your stomach, that drop in your stomach,

966
01:09:53.520 --> 01:10:00.000
when you see his name on the phone, if you will. Right. Okay. And so do you

967
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.800
happen to, is there anything coming up for you as I've been saying that?

968
01:10:05.120 --> 01:10:09.440
Not a specific memory. Okay, I just wanted to make sure, I wanted to give you space to share

969
01:10:09.440 --> 01:10:13.840
if there was something. So just take some time, it might come up this week, it might not come up

970
01:10:13.840 --> 01:10:18.480
right away, but we know, go ahead and start with this college situation, go ahead and start

971
01:10:18.480 --> 01:10:23.840
processing that, and it might even be after you forgive your dad for that situation that the

972
01:10:23.840 --> 01:10:29.040
others, you know, come up. But most likely there's probably going to be other things connected to

973
01:10:29.040 --> 01:10:34.400
this for you. Okay. Okay, thank you so much for sharing, that was awesome, you guys are doing so

974
01:10:34.400 --> 01:10:40.000
great. Okay, let's see here, I know I have several on here, I'm just going to try to do it the way

975
01:10:40.000 --> 01:10:54.320
I see you guys. Sally, go ahead. We can't hear you, sweetie. Can you hear me? Yep, now I do.

976
01:10:54.320 --> 01:11:00.800
Okay, when you talked about the revealing for a healing cycle, and you went down to

977
01:11:01.440 --> 01:11:10.800
painful memories, and you said something about spiritual abuse, I remember when I was, when I had

978
01:11:10.800 --> 01:11:18.720
just gotten into a fellowship where we had a spiritual father, and he was teaching us a lot

979
01:11:18.720 --> 01:11:29.760
of things, you know, but I didn't know a lot, so I just followed, I just, he manipulated the words

980
01:11:29.760 --> 01:11:37.120
in which he spoke until I got raped one of the days, you know, and I didn't know, I didn't know

981
01:11:37.120 --> 01:11:42.640
how to grapple with my thoughts, I was like, was it my fault, wasn't it my fault, what did I do,

982
01:11:42.640 --> 01:11:52.080
you know, and then in the back of my mind, I was like, yeah, yeah, you know, then events started

983
01:11:52.080 --> 01:11:56.960
happening in my life, my sister got, one of my sisters got divorced, one her husband died, and

984
01:11:56.960 --> 01:12:02.640
all of that, so I thought, maybe this marriage thing is not my, you know, it's not, it's not

985
01:12:02.640 --> 01:12:08.640
something that I, that is for me, because the people that I thought are, like, stronger, you

986
01:12:08.640 --> 01:12:13.600
know, more able to handle this, this is what is happening to them, so people like me, maybe not,

987
01:12:13.600 --> 01:12:21.280
you know, so fast forward to now, that was a couple of years, quite a number of years ago, so I was

988
01:12:21.280 --> 01:12:28.720
talking with one of my pastor friends now, and we were praying, and I, in my mind, now I want to get

989
01:12:28.720 --> 01:12:33.920
married, and I'm like, why is it taking so long, what's the delay, you know, so we took time to

990
01:12:33.920 --> 01:12:38.960
pray, and he asked me, he said, did something happen in your life, like, long time ago, like,

991
01:12:38.960 --> 01:12:44.400
when you were younger, for a while, I was like, happened, no, nothing, what, he said, no, no, no, no,

992
01:12:44.400 --> 01:12:53.440
just calm down, and just let that question settle in your mind, maybe a situation may come up in

993
01:12:53.440 --> 01:12:58.480
your mind, and sure enough, you know, that situation came up, and then added to it what

994
01:12:58.480 --> 01:13:03.520
happened to one of my sisters, and my other sisters, and the things that I said, when that happened,

995
01:13:03.680 --> 01:13:10.160
you know, I had no idea, you know, that would be an issue, you know, later on, you know, so I was like,

996
01:13:10.160 --> 01:13:16.000
but I didn't, I was just saying it out of being hurt, and you know, out of being disappointed, it wasn't

997
01:13:16.000 --> 01:13:21.280
like I didn't want to get married, it just happened that what I was seeing was not something I really

998
01:13:21.280 --> 01:13:27.600
wanted to be a part of, you know, and all that, so he was like, well, this, this is a, like a, almost

999
01:13:27.600 --> 01:13:33.680
like a roadblock, and until you're able to, you know, either accept it, cross it, or do something

1000
01:13:33.680 --> 01:13:40.320
about that, it's going to hinder a lot of things, okay, so I took time, and I thought about it, I

1001
01:13:40.320 --> 01:13:45.760
prayed, then something happened, it's more like a testimony of what happened then, you know, church,

1002
01:13:45.760 --> 01:13:50.400
and in church on Sunday, you know, somebody, I know this is not the person I'm supposed to get

1003
01:13:50.400 --> 01:13:55.360
married to, but somebody on his own just came up and said, hello, he wants to meet me, I was like,

1004
01:13:56.320 --> 01:14:03.040
it never happens to me, I was like, oh my God, it started so easily, I didn't do nothing, and it was

1005
01:14:03.040 --> 01:14:09.680
like, hi, can I have, you know, I was like, whoa, okay, Lord, all right, this is not that, so I just

1006
01:14:09.680 --> 01:14:15.280
want to testify that, yes, that, that really, you know, is an issue that if, once we get over it,

1007
01:14:15.280 --> 01:14:22.160
you know, good things can come from that. Yeah, yeah, 100 percent, Sally, and you know,

1008
01:14:23.040 --> 01:14:27.520
one of the things I want to say as well, and it sounds like God is using this current pastor to

1009
01:14:27.520 --> 01:14:32.080
be a part of the healing process, you know, we believe in this community, hurt in community,

1010
01:14:32.080 --> 01:14:36.800
healed in community, hurt in relationship, healed in relationship, you know, and you were spiritually

1011
01:14:36.800 --> 01:14:43.040
hurt in that community before, and God is, it sounds like, has placed someone healthy that's

1012
01:14:43.040 --> 01:14:48.320
a pastor in your life now, that's asking you really great questions, and he's a part of the

1013
01:14:48.320 --> 01:14:55.680
healing process that's happening in your life, and 100 percent, ladies, you know, again, remember,

1014
01:14:55.680 --> 01:14:59.840
we're not intentionally partnering with the lies most of the time, sometimes,

1015
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.000
We are just like, I'm just mad. And we just, you know, but even in that, it's a subconscious thing

1016
01:15:06.000 --> 01:15:11.760
that is still happening underneath the surface. That's causing us to partner with the lie.

1017
01:15:11.760 --> 01:15:12.320
Yeah.

1018
01:15:12.320 --> 01:15:17.760
When we understand what the lies are, that's why we want to come out of alignment and agreement

1019
01:15:17.760 --> 01:15:24.240
with those. But then we also want to come into agreement with the truth to replace the lie.

1020
01:15:24.240 --> 01:15:29.680
And so Sally, make sure you go all the way to the truth. The truth is, yes, I believe

1021
01:15:29.680 --> 01:15:35.760
God that you have marriage for me, but it's more than that. You know, it can be things like,

1022
01:15:35.760 --> 01:15:38.640
and I don't want to tell you because I want you to get those from the Lord. But like,

1023
01:15:38.640 --> 01:15:45.040
what comes to mind is, Lord, I thank you that my marriage does not have to end up like the

1024
01:15:45.040 --> 01:15:50.720
marriages that I've seen. You know, where we just start to create separation between what we've

1025
01:15:50.720 --> 01:15:54.320
partnered with in the past. And now what we're going to partner with in the days ahead,

1026
01:15:54.320 --> 01:15:58.720
God, I believe that you're a good father who has good gifts for your children, including me

1027
01:15:58.720 --> 01:16:05.760
and including my spirit mate. God, I believe that you, you know, want to cause me to flourish

1028
01:16:05.760 --> 01:16:12.480
in marriage and relationship and thrive in every way possible. You know, where we just start to

1029
01:16:12.480 --> 01:16:19.520
partner with good things. You know, the Bible talks to us about ladies thinking on things that

1030
01:16:19.520 --> 01:16:25.360
are true, noble, and like lovely and of good report. Things that are above only and not beneath.

1031
01:16:25.360 --> 01:16:25.680
Yes.

1032
01:16:26.080 --> 01:16:31.520
But the reality is, is so many times we don't even recognize the things that are beneath,

1033
01:16:31.520 --> 01:16:36.720
if you will, that we have subconsciously partnered with. And that's how this revealing

1034
01:16:36.720 --> 01:16:42.080
for healing cycle, it's going to be really powerful when you all lean into it. And, you know,

1035
01:16:42.080 --> 01:16:46.720
again, use this as a tool as you go, because I'm telling you what, I've been married, you know,

1036
01:16:46.720 --> 01:16:52.000
like I said, almost four years. And there's things now that it's not so much because of Brian,

1037
01:16:52.000 --> 01:16:57.360
my husband, but we're serving people in ministry and, you know, things happen and, you know,

1038
01:16:57.360 --> 01:17:02.880
and then before I know it, I'm like, whoa, okay, there I am partnering with a lie again. You know,

1039
01:17:02.880 --> 01:17:08.240
the enemy just always tries to come and bring those things back in any way it can. So Sally,

1040
01:17:08.240 --> 01:17:14.960
keep us posted on how this goes. Just so you know, it's okay for you to like, that guy, if he comes

1041
01:17:14.960 --> 01:17:20.800
up again, say hi to him. If he keeps pursuing you, just let him know you're in a heart healing

1042
01:17:20.800 --> 01:17:25.120
process and you, you know, if he starts to pursue you, like he wants to date you is what I'm trying

1043
01:17:25.120 --> 01:17:29.360
to say. Just kind of have it in your back pocket that you're in the heart work right now, but you

1044
01:17:29.360 --> 01:17:33.920
would love an opportunity to get to know him better when you're finished. Okay. If that is

1045
01:17:33.920 --> 01:17:39.200
how you feel. Okay. Yeah. So just keep that tucked away because it sounds like God's might,

1046
01:17:39.760 --> 01:17:43.920
even if this guy doesn't circle back, what might start to happen is you might start to

1047
01:17:43.920 --> 01:17:50.720
encounter more guys noticing you. Okay. All right. So just be prepared. And then we do recommend

1048
01:17:50.720 --> 01:17:55.280
for y'all to finish heartwork. And sometimes that can be hard because people will start to fear.

1049
01:17:55.280 --> 01:18:00.560
Well, if I, if I don't say yes to this, then am I going to miss out on my spirit mate? Here's what,

1050
01:18:00.560 --> 01:18:05.200
here's the truth ladies. I promise you, you're not going to miss out on your spirit mate,

1051
01:18:05.200 --> 01:18:09.680
a man that is healthy. You know what he's going to say about a woman doing her heartwork.

1052
01:18:09.680 --> 01:18:15.120
He's going to think that's awesome. And he'll be like, that that's great. Yeah. Let me know when

1053
01:18:15.120 --> 01:18:19.520
you're finished, you know, and they're going to really honor that and respect that in you.

1054
01:18:19.520 --> 01:18:28.160
100%. So way to go, Sally break. Thank you. Yeah, good stuff. All right. Let's see. I see

1055
01:18:28.160 --> 01:18:42.080
Roseanne next on my, on my screen here. Hi, Bethany. Hello. So I have some recent memories

1056
01:18:42.080 --> 01:18:48.000
and I've, I've talked about this before. You, you know, a lot of the, a lot of the ladies are,

1057
01:18:48.000 --> 01:18:55.520
are new to the group, so they may not know, but the man that I was engaged to for two months

1058
01:18:56.000 --> 01:19:04.400
recently, we went to a, I went to a wedding. He was there at the wedding. We did not go together,

1059
01:19:04.400 --> 01:19:08.560
but we, you know, they were, it was a couple from our church that got married and,

1060
01:19:12.480 --> 01:19:20.080
and at the reception, I was talking to a girl that I hadn't seen in a few weeks and we were

1061
01:19:20.080 --> 01:19:26.160
standing, you know, facing one another talking and he chose that time to come up to her,

1062
01:19:26.800 --> 01:19:31.920
kind of gave her a little side hug, whispered in her ear, hi, beautiful, and walked away behind

1063
01:19:31.920 --> 01:19:38.640
her, never made eye contact with me or said a word to me. And then this past Sunday,

1064
01:19:40.240 --> 01:19:46.240
we, we, we do communion. Well, we have been for the last, I don't know, six or eight months. We

1065
01:19:46.240 --> 01:19:53.040
do communion every Sunday and we, we have it set up like at the front of the sanctuary in the back

1066
01:19:53.040 --> 01:19:57.760
on these little high top tables. And you usually we, they have us go get our own elements, but

1067
01:19:57.760 --> 01:19:59.760
the person that was leading this past Sunday.

1068
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.640
said, I want to do it a little bit differently.

1069
01:20:02.640 --> 01:20:06.320
I'd like everyone to be served if I can get a few people to help me out.

1070
01:20:07.280 --> 01:20:11.120
And so immediately a couple of young guys got up and went to the one in the

1071
01:20:11.120 --> 01:20:15.280
front. And then I saw our pastor's wife stand up and walk, you know,

1072
01:20:15.280 --> 01:20:16.540
start walking toward the back.

1073
01:20:16.540 --> 01:20:19.360
So I stood up and walked back there with her to help her.

1074
01:20:20.600 --> 01:20:25.040
And there were several people standing back there around those tables and he was

1075
01:20:25.040 --> 01:20:28.560
one of the people. Um, and I, you know, I've,

1076
01:20:28.840 --> 01:20:32.400
I served the bread to, you know, a couple of other people there.

1077
01:20:32.400 --> 01:20:37.400
And he was standing there and I held the plate out for him and he did his hand

1078
01:20:39.440 --> 01:20:42.240
up like, like, and shook his head no.

1079
01:20:42.600 --> 01:20:46.360
And initially I thought it was because he was kind of in the middle of writing.

1080
01:20:46.360 --> 01:20:50.400
I think he was writing a check or something. And so I was like, okay. And,

1081
01:20:50.440 --> 01:20:55.360
but then the pastor's wife was right behind me with the juice thing and he took

1082
01:20:55.480 --> 01:20:59.760
it from her and I just handed her the tray and just said, I'll let you serve him.

1083
01:21:01.240 --> 01:21:05.440
And I mean, I, I, I don't know. I just, um,

1084
01:21:07.160 --> 01:21:08.840
I don't know if I would say I'm stuck,

1085
01:21:08.840 --> 01:21:13.840
but I'm tired of having to revisit this and I,

1086
01:21:15.000 --> 01:21:17.320
I want to do whatever I need to do to.

1087
01:21:17.800 --> 01:21:22.040
Yeah. I can't remember Roseanne. If we, if we chatted about this,

1088
01:21:22.040 --> 01:21:26.760
I feel like we maybe did, but I don't remember what, what was said.

1089
01:21:27.200 --> 01:21:30.800
Have you considered going to a different church?

1090
01:21:34.720 --> 01:21:38.720
I know that's tough because it sounds like you're connected really a lot.

1091
01:21:38.720 --> 01:21:42.000
Very, very. I mean, as a matter of fact, my,

1092
01:21:43.720 --> 01:21:45.480
my pet I'm praying right now.

1093
01:21:45.480 --> 01:21:48.600
My pastor called me last week and asked me if I would be an elder.

1094
01:21:49.720 --> 01:21:50.800
Yeah, I think, Oh, you know what?

1095
01:21:50.800 --> 01:21:53.360
I think that came up the last time we were talking to you,

1096
01:21:53.360 --> 01:21:56.240
that that might be something that was coming down the pipe for you.

1097
01:21:56.560 --> 01:21:59.840
So, and it's not something I ever thought about for myself,

1098
01:21:59.880 --> 01:22:04.800
but I don't want to say no until I've asked the Lord, you know, about it.

1099
01:22:05.640 --> 01:22:10.640
I think the thing that I'm concerned about is that it's going to be really hard

1100
01:22:11.560 --> 01:22:15.640
for you to feel safe with him treating you this way.

1101
01:22:16.360 --> 01:22:20.200
Um, I'm not saying we should all flee and leave situations.

1102
01:22:20.200 --> 01:22:24.680
I'm just saying that this is a recurring pain for you now,

1103
01:22:24.720 --> 01:22:28.200
and he's openly doing this in front of other people,

1104
01:22:28.560 --> 01:22:32.000
which is, is a passive aggressive, you know,

1105
01:22:32.040 --> 01:22:36.360
these are passive aggressive actions and things that he's doing. I would,

1106
01:22:36.560 --> 01:22:40.200
I want to believe the best in him and believe it's not intentional,

1107
01:22:40.200 --> 01:22:43.840
like how he came up to that woman, but you know,

1108
01:22:43.960 --> 01:22:48.160
it's just not given me good vibes. And so my,

1109
01:22:48.600 --> 01:22:52.120
my thought for you is how can you change,

1110
01:22:53.600 --> 01:22:56.280
like either help yourself get like,

1111
01:22:56.440 --> 01:23:00.400
just get beyond how this guy is acting. If you're going to stay there

1112
01:23:01.760 --> 01:23:06.760
or get to the point that you see that maybe the road needs to,

1113
01:23:07.200 --> 01:23:11.760
like, you might be at a crossroads here at this church at this time.

1114
01:23:12.760 --> 01:23:16.160
Yeah. And you know, again, yeah, of course, you know,

1115
01:23:16.160 --> 01:23:19.800
that's such an honor that your pastor would ask you about being an elder and

1116
01:23:19.800 --> 01:23:20.640
all of that.

1117
01:23:20.960 --> 01:23:25.960
But I genuinely believe that you need to be somewhere where you personally can

1118
01:23:26.880 --> 01:23:30.840
flourish Roseanne and serving as an elder.

1119
01:23:30.840 --> 01:23:32.640
Maybe you would flourish during that,

1120
01:23:32.680 --> 01:23:36.760
but in a an environment that feels hostile a little bit, I'm not,

1121
01:23:36.920 --> 01:23:37.760
I'm not sure.

1122
01:23:38.320 --> 01:23:43.320
Yeah. And I, when my, you know, my pastor called me and asked me,

1123
01:23:44.160 --> 01:23:48.840
um, I said, you know, I took, I said two things.

1124
01:23:48.840 --> 01:23:50.000
I'm still,

1125
01:23:50.080 --> 01:23:54.680
I've been involved for the past several months trying to help my neighbor who's

1126
01:23:54.680 --> 01:23:57.800
been in a hospital or facility since September.

1127
01:23:58.560 --> 01:24:03.320
And he's probably going to have to go to a facility for the rest of his life

1128
01:24:03.320 --> 01:24:07.200
and go through the process of qualifying for Medicaid and all that.

1129
01:24:07.200 --> 01:24:09.400
And he just doesn't, he doesn't have any family here.

1130
01:24:09.400 --> 01:24:12.840
And so I've been trying to help him. And I said, I'm still involved in that.

1131
01:24:12.840 --> 01:24:14.520
And then I said, and honestly,

1132
01:24:14.640 --> 01:24:18.760
and I told him about what happened at the wedding because the wedding was his

1133
01:24:18.760 --> 01:24:23.120
son's wedding. I said, I'm sorry to tell you this. I said, but this happened at

1134
01:24:23.120 --> 01:24:27.760
the, you know, at the, at the wedding. And, and he, you know, he said,

1135
01:24:28.880 --> 01:24:33.240
I'm sorry that, you know, he, he doesn't have a right to treat you like that.

1136
01:24:34.360 --> 01:24:36.840
And I, but he said, you know,

1137
01:24:37.160 --> 01:24:40.440
he is a different kind of person and he,

1138
01:24:41.440 --> 01:24:44.960
he has problems and everybody knows it.

1139
01:24:45.360 --> 01:24:49.520
And he's kind of created an Island for himself. I mean,

1140
01:24:49.520 --> 01:24:51.520
cause my first thought was, you know,

1141
01:24:51.600 --> 01:24:56.640
nobody's holding him accountable for his behavior. And then it's like, am I,

1142
01:24:56.680 --> 01:24:57.800
do I have behavior?

1143
01:24:57.800 --> 01:24:59.960
Somebody needs to hold me accountable for nobody.

1144
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.040
say anything to me, you know,

1145
01:25:02.040 --> 01:25:07.540
it sounds like they know, I mean, you know, even, uh, helping my

1146
01:25:07.540 --> 01:25:10.760
husband, pastor, the church that we're in, we have some people

1147
01:25:10.760 --> 01:25:12.300
that would be in that category.

1148
01:25:12.300 --> 01:25:16.320
They just are very difficult people to work with and be

1149
01:25:16.320 --> 01:25:18.520
around and people kind of know it.

1150
01:25:18.980 --> 01:25:23.120
Um, I will tell you that one of the things that I feel very.

1151
01:25:23.760 --> 01:25:27.640
Like, I feel like God puts me in these roles and positions.

1152
01:25:28.240 --> 01:25:33.060
Um, I will love people like really well, but I also feel

1153
01:25:33.100 --> 01:25:35.620
important, like it's important to hold people lovingly

1154
01:25:35.620 --> 01:25:40.720
accountable, unhealthy behavior, even, you know, in all, in all

1155
01:25:40.720 --> 01:25:42.580
relationships, especially in a church.

1156
01:25:42.940 --> 01:25:47.380
And so again, like, just pray into that for me, just pray

1157
01:25:47.380 --> 01:25:51.700
into that because, you know, I'm not saying it's easy as a

1158
01:25:51.700 --> 01:25:56.300
pastor for, cause we, it's hard for us to, to those people in

1159
01:25:56.320 --> 01:26:01.400
those situations, but if we let it go, it's just going to grow.

1160
01:26:02.480 --> 01:26:02.920
Okay.

1161
01:26:03.320 --> 01:26:07.340
And if they allow it to remain there, it's going to end up

1162
01:26:07.340 --> 01:26:09.140
infesting other things.

1163
01:26:09.160 --> 01:26:09.680
Right.

1164
01:26:10.120 --> 01:26:14.600
Um, so I just want you to pray into what's really best for you.

1165
01:26:14.660 --> 01:26:18.080
Not, I want you to separate Roseanne cause you're a big

1166
01:26:18.080 --> 01:26:22.000
caregiver, you want to help people you want to, you know, it

1167
01:26:22.000 --> 01:26:24.280
sounds like you're doing all the things and I'm not saying you

1168
01:26:24.280 --> 01:26:25.440
should leave the church.

1169
01:26:25.440 --> 01:26:28.180
I'm just planting these seeds and letting, like encouraging

1170
01:26:28.180 --> 01:26:31.180
you to pray about it and let God lead you to where he wants you

1171
01:26:31.180 --> 01:26:31.500
to be.

1172
01:26:31.500 --> 01:26:33.780
And if that means stay there, then, you know, and he shows

1173
01:26:33.780 --> 01:26:35.060
you that, then that's great.

1174
01:26:35.660 --> 01:26:41.220
But I want to make sure that your desire to serve, isn't

1175
01:26:41.220 --> 01:26:48.120
keeping you in a place where you internally may not be able to

1176
01:26:48.120 --> 01:26:48.660
thrive.

1177
01:26:50.880 --> 01:26:51.380
Okay.

1178
01:26:51.860 --> 01:26:53.340
And it doesn't mean you don't love them.

1179
01:26:53.340 --> 01:26:55.020
It doesn't mean it wouldn't be hard.

1180
01:26:55.400 --> 01:26:58.320
Um, I will, and again, I'm not saying that you should do what

1181
01:26:58.320 --> 01:27:00.840
I did, but when I went through my, when I went through my

1182
01:27:00.840 --> 01:27:05.760
separation, I was very connected in that church.

1183
01:27:05.840 --> 01:27:07.080
I was preaching.

1184
01:27:07.080 --> 01:27:11.520
I was serving all the time on multiple levels and I actually

1185
01:27:11.520 --> 01:27:17.880
decided to leave, um, because for multiple reasons, but, and

1186
01:27:17.880 --> 01:27:18.800
that was really hard.

1187
01:27:18.800 --> 01:27:22.600
It was, um, and I kind of bounced around for a little

1188
01:27:22.600 --> 01:27:27.140
while until I finally moved to Lexington and found my actual

1189
01:27:27.140 --> 01:27:28.140
church home there.

1190
01:27:28.580 --> 01:27:33.300
Um, but all of those phases that I went through taught me

1191
01:27:33.300 --> 01:27:34.660
something about myself.

1192
01:27:35.900 --> 01:27:37.780
And again, your story might be different.

1193
01:27:37.780 --> 01:27:41.080
You might end up saying there, God may like deal with this

1194
01:27:41.080 --> 01:27:42.780
might help you just get completely over it.

1195
01:27:43.100 --> 01:27:46.860
But what you said to me is why do I have to, like, why am I

1196
01:27:46.860 --> 01:27:47.580
still strong?

1197
01:27:47.820 --> 01:27:48.300
I'm stuck.

1198
01:27:48.300 --> 01:27:50.500
Cause I keep struggling with the same thing.

1199
01:27:50.880 --> 01:27:56.840
Uh, the reality is sometimes we need to not be around the people

1200
01:27:56.840 --> 01:28:02.520
that are mistreating us so that we can heal and move forward.

1201
01:28:03.120 --> 01:28:06.200
Sometimes we're not able to constantly stay around them.

1202
01:28:07.120 --> 01:28:10.640
So you need to just pray and really seek the Lord about, can

1203
01:28:10.640 --> 01:28:15.600
I really stay in this environment and get over this and move

1204
01:28:15.600 --> 01:28:19.080
forward or Lord, even if it's for a season, Rosanna doesn't

1205
01:28:19.080 --> 01:28:20.940
have to be forever, right?

1206
01:28:21.340 --> 01:28:24.660
Like Lord, is there somewhere else I need to be right now so

1207
01:28:24.660 --> 01:28:28.140
that I can actually break free from this thing and really move

1208
01:28:28.140 --> 01:28:28.580
forward.

1209
01:28:28.820 --> 01:28:31.140
So that's what I want you to pray about specifically.

1210
01:28:31.860 --> 01:28:32.220
Okay.

1211
01:28:32.340 --> 01:28:32.780
Okay.

1212
01:28:33.300 --> 01:28:36.820
And, and then ladies, I know it can get hard when, you know,

1213
01:28:36.820 --> 01:28:39.820
even some of you all, God will nudge you to move.

1214
01:28:39.820 --> 01:28:41.500
I said, I was never going to move.

1215
01:28:42.060 --> 01:28:43.340
I had moved so many times.

1216
01:28:43.340 --> 01:28:44.780
I said, I was never going to move again.

1217
01:28:45.600 --> 01:28:50.720
And then God led me to Brian and I did not feel like God was

1218
01:28:50.720 --> 01:28:54.120
asking me to ask Brian to move away from his mom because his

1219
01:28:54.120 --> 01:28:57.520
dad had just died, you know, eight months before I met him

1220
01:28:57.600 --> 01:29:00.160
and his mom needed him there and I knew it.

1221
01:29:00.640 --> 01:29:02.960
And, and so I moved you all.

1222
01:29:03.080 --> 01:29:03.560
I did.

1223
01:29:03.560 --> 01:29:05.300
I said, I said, I never would.

1224
01:29:05.300 --> 01:29:08.480
And then I did because God showed me something that was

1225
01:29:08.480 --> 01:29:09.080
worth it.

1226
01:29:10.200 --> 01:29:10.600
Okay.

1227
01:29:10.960 --> 01:29:13.360
And so just be open ladies, you know, when these things are

1228
01:29:13.380 --> 01:29:16.780
happening, protect your hearts, protect your mind and your

1229
01:29:16.780 --> 01:29:17.420
spirit.

1230
01:29:17.620 --> 01:29:19.020
We don't have to run from things.

1231
01:29:19.020 --> 01:29:20.340
This isn't running.

1232
01:29:21.140 --> 01:29:24.780
This is you discerning what is the healthy decision and where

1233
01:29:24.780 --> 01:29:27.820
can I be planted to flourish in this season?

1234
01:29:29.220 --> 01:29:29.620
Okay.

1235
01:29:30.700 --> 01:29:30.900
Okay.

1236
01:29:30.940 --> 01:29:31.220
Right.

1237
01:29:31.700 --> 01:29:31.980
All right.

1238
01:29:31.980 --> 01:29:34.020
I know I didn't get through all of you, but we are at nine

1239
01:29:34.020 --> 01:29:34.820
29.

1240
01:29:34.820 --> 01:29:36.980
And so I'm going to close this down for tonight.

1241
01:29:37.220 --> 01:29:40.420
Joy and Catherine, please come into the group and post in the

1242
01:29:40.420 --> 01:29:42.880
group, um, what you were going to share.

1243
01:29:42.880 --> 01:29:46.080
Cause I want to help, you know, coach to myself or, or Andrea

1244
01:29:46.080 --> 01:29:48.360
or Kelly will coach you all through that.

1245
01:29:49.280 --> 01:29:49.960
Blessed you all.

1246
01:29:49.960 --> 01:29:51.720
So glad that all of you were here.

1247
01:29:51.720 --> 01:29:53.240
I've been seeing some awesome posts.

1248
01:29:53.240 --> 01:29:54.880
I've been loving all of them.

1249
01:29:54.880 --> 01:29:56.880
Great breakthroughs happening in this community.

1250
01:29:56.880 --> 01:29:58.200
You guys having fun.

1251
01:29:58.200 --> 01:29:59.240
It's been awesome.

1252
01:29:59.600 --> 01:30:00.040
All right.

1253
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.440
Let me pray for us. Father, thank you so much for this night. We thank you, God, for everything

1254
01:30:03.440 --> 01:30:08.080
that you've done already, the things that you're going to continue to do. We ask you, Lord, to help

1255
01:30:08.080 --> 01:30:14.960
us to receive the fullness of your goodness, your glory, your faithfulness, your kindness. God,

1256
01:30:14.960 --> 01:30:19.120
I thank you that you would prepare our hearts to receive the blessings that you have for us,

1257
01:30:19.120 --> 01:30:23.520
that you would reveal the squatters that we need to evict. I thank you, Lord, that, yes, Lord,

1258
01:30:23.520 --> 01:30:30.080
that you would help us to become uncomfortable in the unhealthy places. God, in an effort so that

1259
01:30:30.080 --> 01:30:35.360
we can heal, it's not to torment us, it's not to harm us, but God, you want us to heal. So help us

1260
01:30:35.360 --> 01:30:42.880
to step into the places of healing and redemption and life. Help us to step into the good, good

1261
01:30:42.880 --> 01:30:49.600
life that you have for us. Lord, we know that you sent Jesus as the light of the world, and we know

1262
01:30:49.600 --> 01:30:55.360
that he has come to give us life and give it to us more abundantly. I pray that you would help us

1263
01:30:55.360 --> 01:30:59.520
to remember that tonight. We thank you for your hedge of protection around us, that you would

1264
01:30:59.520 --> 01:31:05.600
guard and keep watch over us and our families as we go about our way this week. In Jesus' name,

1265
01:31:05.600 --> 01:31:10.400
amen. God bless you all. So good to see you again, and we'll be seeing you all in the group,

1266
01:31:10.400 --> 01:31:14.320
and then back here again next week. Good night, everyone. Bye-bye.

1267
01:31:14.320 --> 01:31:16.000
Good night.