I'd propose.
Hey, ladies, how are y'all tonight?
Great.
Hello.
Hey Lauren and Abby and Kirsten and Audrey and Karen and Eloise
and Theda, Karen.
It's so good to see y'all tonight.
Good to see you Ebony.
Well, thank you.
Thank you.
I don't know why, but I feel like my camera feels
lopsided for some reason or another.
It looks so flicked.
It's like leaning.
But anyway, I hope you ladies have been having a very good
day.
It's hey, hey.
I don't see anybody that's new.
Anybody knew that you are new and I don't see that or know
that you're new.
Is this your first time joining us on a call tonight?
No, good.
It's just a few of us.
So nine.
I think is everyone on vacation?
Spring break, baby.
I know it's spring break for me too, but I signed up to work
two days for
Spring Break Star Camp.
And so that's just one more day, but I'm a little
sometimes I think to myself I had I felt energy at the time.
We are the way you ladies have been posting just give an
update has been helpful in us finding your posts.
Thank you for saying like, hey, I posted something.
Do you see it?
Then that gives us the we can go and start looking through
things to find a post.
We can search by your name.
We have that option available to us.
And so I know a lot of ladies have been saying they're not
able to access the replay calls.
We're so sorry about that.
But we can do is send a helpdesk.
Oh Abby, you're new.
Well, welcome.
I thought you were new but I was like, oh, maybe not.
She didn't say anything you can send a ticket and let them
know that this is happening or you send an email to admin
and let them know that that's happening.
So be sure to continue posting posting posting.
It helps a lot.
It keeps us up to date and we're able to help you and also
I just want to say like sometimes in the moment you like
I need help like right now and right now doesn't happen
right now may happen 10 hours later 12 hours later.
Just use that time to practice waiting.
There's probably nothing you have to say in the moment,
but you know how we want to say something.
You get anxious to say something.
Try try just holding out.
Just just try holding out for a little while until you
can get a response that you will be most pleased with.
We encourage you ladies to stay in phase 2, 3 to 4 months
and then you can transition to phase 3.
It's Abby since it's your first time.
I'm assuming you did hard work and now you're in phase 2.
And so I just want to kind of go through that because
sometimes we struggle with it.
So in phase, they're three.
They call it three phases to the program hard work love
story accelerator is where you are now and then last year
single would be called phase 3.
This will be called phase 2 in dating.
There are dating levels.
And then when you first start listening to the when you
first start with the curriculum for this phase is going
to talk about dating levels, which is totally different
from hard work phase 2, which is love love story greater
and then last year single dating comes in level 1 level 2
level 3 level 1 is when you first meet a person you first
talk to them you first exchange in you reach out you meet
them whether in a dating app or online or face-to-face level
to dating is when you initially start getting to know each
other you go out to lunch or to dinner to coffee you whatever
you start talking on the phone.
That's level 2 a level 3 dating relationship comes at 60
to 90 days Jackie encourages if you could hold out for
exclusivity the the highest day is 90 which she calls about
the perfect timing but if you cannot wait 90 days before
you go exclusive at least give it 60 days before going
exclusive and we encourage that the man leads the conversation
in exclusivity.
So this level 1 level 2 wants you to tell someone that
you're going exclusive with them going exclusive with a
person.
person does not mean, Hey, yeah, once I started talking to you,
I came out the app and you say, oh, and then in your mind,
you say I should come out the app too because we're together.
He never know.
That's not someone saying I want to be in a relationship with you.
They can make their choice, but that doesn't have to be your choice.
They need to exclusively, I mean,
explicitly ask you to be in a dating relationship with them.
That's the best way to do that, because that way serves you best.
There's a question asked of you and you give an agreement or disagreement
in dating. Most of the people that you're dating,
they're not being coached, you are being coached.
Most people aren't coached on how to have a healthy dating relationship.
We are the age we are and we're just not
learning how to develop healthy relationships.
And so when you start talking to someone
and they do something and you do it because they do it,
that won't serve you best.
Because they're just doing things the way they've always done things.
Also, I encourage you not to be offended
by a person who's doing something the way they do something.
A question that a man would generally almost always ask is,
so what are you looking for?
Why are somebody so pretty like you not married yet?
They are not with you.
They're not attempting to offend you.
This is a common question that men ask.
It is common for men to divulge all
of their information the first time they talk to you.
It is very common for you to sit on a date with them and they get diarrhea
of the mouth and they are not attempting to offend you.
They're just being a person who has not been taught how to date well.
That's all it is.
So you don't follow suit, you just redirect.
And you just you work within what you know best serves a healthy pace,
getting to know type of relationship.
And that's just how it works.
When I say relationship, it doesn't mean
that you're exclusively just like getting to know another person.
And so I just want to say that just
because one person does it doesn't mean they do it from wisdom.
They just do it because it's what they've always done.
Don't forget that we noticed there was a weird place to throw in four
announcements, but that's the place I remembered it.
Don't forget, we do offer one on one
coaching and there's a plethora of great coaches that you can choose from.
But we always want to help you work through those things
that are more deeply rooted, that you can't get done
over a live, over a group session or over a post.
Shantelle, is this your first time with us?
No.
Uh, last week you said hi.
Like,
but yeah, it's a hey, yeah, almost a month.
Oh, this is exciting.
This is exciting.
OK, my camera is usually off.
So, yeah, I don't see.
OK, all right.
All right. Because I was looking, I was like, well, she's so pretty.
Is she new?
Oh, thank you.
You're welcome. You're welcome.
All right. So let's get started.
And tonight we're going to be talking about the Divine Feminine.
Um, what do you ladies think about when you hear the word Divine Feminine?
I want to just add it to the chat.
This subject is one that kind of gets us
confused or worked up or what does it really mean?
What do you think Divine Feminine means when you hear it?
Now, if you watch the teaching, you've had some thoughts about it,
even some things you may not understand about Divine Feminine.
Still learning.
So expensive beauty.
Oh, I like the mature.
Yeah, mature.
If we don't operate much in our Divine
Feminine is Divine Feminine becoming mature in femininity or being mature as
an individual, can we be a mature, healthy overall woman and not be matured
in our femininity? Yeah, I like that answer.
Both sounds new age, but I'm learning.
Well, we know that the word Divine means innate, a natural thing is within you.
It is divine within you.
All right. Knowing who we are and femininity is
the order of woman, just as masculine is the order of man.
That's how man, female and woman were designed.
And we were born with femininity.
It's divine, it's within us, our culture, our home life, our circumstances
will come to squeeze that out of us, squeeze our femininity.
has a hand in shaping who we are.
So what does that mean?
Me, born to a family of lots of controlling women.
They are strong women.
For me, where I'm from culturally,
for me, Black women can,
Black women of the Black communities
more matriarchally-led versus patriarchally-led.
And so therefore you produce,
if women are leading most of the time,
then what happens?
They have to do it all.
They have to work.
They have to be the doctor.
They have to be the nurse to the children.
They have to come home and solve problems.
They have to do it all.
If you have to do it all,
that means you're carrying a load
and you're gonna have to toughen up your back
to carry it all because it is a heavy load.
Does it make you wrong?
No.
But what it does,
it doesn't allow you to be in touch
with your feminine order.
If you're here,
that means you're single,
you're not married.
And that means most of us,
we pay all our own bills.
If you don't hire somebody to mow your lawn,
you mow your own lawn.
You go out and you take care of everything you own
and something gets broken in your house,
you're the one that takes care of it.
So that means you're operating
in a duality of orders or roles.
And so then when your husband comes along
and when you start dating and meeting men,
you have to now get back in touch
with the feminine side of you,
with the side that allows someone
to open the door for you
or with the side of you that is a bit softer,
that is not demanding,
that is not challenging,
the side of you that's not having to fight for her way.
So you may have to feel,
don't nobody else do it,
I have to do it.
That's a real thing.
Who's gonna come and do it if you don't do it?
If you're raising your children by yourself,
who's gonna do it if you don't do it?
And so that means when we switch over in dating,
when we switch over to a spouse,
we have to get back in touch with that side of ourselves
because men are attracted to feminine women
because that's the order of a woman.
Just like a healthy woman is attracted to a masculine man.
And so men who do not operate in masculinity
generally will get a bad rep from women
when they don't show up as a man.
It ticks you out when they want you
to do what they supposed to do.
It ticks you out,
but now he's here and he wants you to lead the way
and hold him by his hand.
What is he, a child?
And so you want him to show up in masculine
just as a man when he talks to a woman,
he doesn't expect to go back and forth
and bigger with a woman.
Men generally don't like to argue with women
because it's disrespectful
and men don't like to be disrespected.
And when men are disrespected,
they don't see a woman as a woman.
They like, look, you just need to get back.
But a woman who's not in touch with her feminine order
or who is hurt will operate that way.
Or a woman who has been shaped in that order.
I was very disrespectful to men.
Not by choice, I was cultivated that way.
Now I would never say harmful,
like hurtful things to hit someone below the belt,
but I had very little respect.
I could get it done myself.
That's how the women in my family are.
Even the ones who had husbands,
they did what that woman said to do.
She ran the house, she made the money,
and that's how it was gonna go.
You was not gonna tell a woman in my family,
even to this day,
what she's gonna do about her children
and about her money and about her life.
And then whatever if you don't like it.
And so when I came into this program
and when I came under these teachings,
there were a lot of adjustments
that need to be made in me.
And it was easy to make them in my mind,
but they're best made in live action.
So we are going to talk about feminine tonight.
So like when you're on a date,
it's a good time to practice.
That's why we say, and I told you,
you get, well, I did the daytime session.
But the last, yeah, I did the daytime session,
but we said, I said that dating is a skill
that we use in this program to develop you, to expand you.
And so while you're dating,
it helps you practice your feminine order.
It helps you sit back in a very low stakes way
because when you're married,
you realize that the decision
that your spouse makes affects you.
It's even harder when somebody's decision
directly affects you to stay in a particular order.
But when you have practice in order,
when you practice a way of being,
then you can more easily operate in it.
And the pressure comes because you've practiced this for a while.
You don't jump ship and switch over and take over.
So, so dating helps you practice your feminine order.
So what does that look like? It looks like not demanding your way.
It looks like, um, something simple, like when the man is talking,
complimenting him or appreciating him like, Oh, that's a great idea.
Okay.
Not believing inwardly that your ideal is better. Let's just do it this way.
It don't really matter if your ideal is better. That's not the goal.
The goal is for you to operate in your feminine order.
And when a man sees in a man in his masculine order,
sees a woman in her feminine order, then the orders take its place.
Are we all together? Yeah.
And so hard work, what changes me? How do I make that transition?
Hard work can do that for you in intentional practice.
And so you ladies,
if it's not your first time and you've been around phase two for a while,
you know that we practice letting someone hold the door for you.
We practice not always using the word, Oh, I got it. I'll need it. I got it.
So you in fact,
practice your feminine order without necessarily always a man that you're
dating doing it. So if somebody on your job says, let me grab that for you.
Even if it's a woman, you can say, Oh, thank you.
You go against the thinking you that I got, I got, I can do it myself.
I can do it myself. A feminine order looks,
it is a place of not weakness,
but a place of meekness, a place of, yes, I'll accept your help.
I don't mind you tagging along. I don't mind you coming to help me with this.
Even if you do have it,
because I know that many of you ladies have said before,
as I have said, it sure feels good when you have some help around.
Anybody ever felt that way? Like, man, be nice to have some help.
Sometimes when help shows up, you resist help. You push help back,
but you really want to be relieved.
And some parts of us will really withdraw from the desire to have
help because we feel like help never shows up. It's not coming.
So I just got to do it myself, get over it. This is the way it is.
So you're going to be intentional when we're operating and we're
dealing with the heart, going to go out and do intentional things that require
help. You're going to ask for help. The feminine order asks for help,
and she doesn't mind asking for help because she understands this is not a sign of
weakness. One thing that I believe softens us in nature,
in nature, softens our nature as a woman is when we give out compliments.
And then why do I say that? Because when you give out compliments,
you create a space within you to receive. The feminine order receives.
They are open to receiving. Have you ever given a woman a compliment?
Or maybe you are this other woman that I'm going to talk about.
You give them a compliment, be like, Oh, you're so beautiful, beautiful day.
Oh, but look at you. It's like, I'm giving you a compliment,
but you tell me, but Oh, look at me. And so I give an example.
When I just gave, uh, told, um, is it Chantella, right?
Chantelli or Chantella? Chantella.
Chantella. I said, Chantella. I said, who was that? She's so pretty. She said, Oh, thank you.
That's a receiving mode, right? And I didn't look at her face, but it may have caused her to blush,
but it's nothing more beautiful than a woman when she blushes, when you give her a compliment.
Do you know that when a man says something to a woman and he looks at her and she blushes,
that he feels like he's hit a home run instead of when he look at her,
her face frowned up because she's too afraid to be vulnerable.
So he says, Hey, beautiful. He like, why are you saying that to me?
Call me by my name. Ah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You just beautiful woman. You're beautiful.
God made man with a keen sense of visual. He very, very visual, very, very visual.
And once he's a beautiful woman, he tells her that she's beautiful.
And so one of the things that are major to, um, the feminine order is being able to receive,
um, every, most all things about the woman is receiving. And then she produces back out of
that which she has received. And so a lot of times we, um, can produce a lot of anger or
trust, or hurt, or defense if that's what we've been given in life because a woman was made to
receive. She receives, this is not to be graphic, the nature of life. She receives sperm. If it
meets with the egg, she produces a baby, right? If this woman encounters or endures hurt by the hand
of someone she's dating or somebody she loves, well, you know what happens is, which is a more
natural thing to protect and guard yourself, but that's what she'll produce over time. If she grows
up with a father who does not see her, hear her, or know her, she doesn't feel accepted as a little
girl, she's going to go through life feeling like no one sees her, hears her, knows her. We produce
what we've endured in life or encountered in life because women we receive. And so intentionally
putting yourself in a place of receiving is very helpful to you, especially when you can
set it up on your own to help yourself grow in your femininity. So on a scale of one, two,
three, three being the least resistance or the least amount of femininity you feel you carry
within you, and one being the greatest amount. Put in the chat if you believe you are about a one,
like I do femininity really well, it's really a part of me, all the numbers are coming in, or three,
it is a hard thing for me to get with this femininity stuff. So yeah, I have a lot of twos.
Oh, Eloise, I like that one. I have a three, a six. Okay. I've been there. I know what you're
talking about. I have to coach myself, a five. I am a coacher of myself. I coach myself constantly
in my mind. One, Mandy, you are pretty feminine. I would have to agree with you. Ah, theta three,
Nikki G, a two. I love getting compliments and receiving them without dismissing them. That's
good, Karen. Yeah. Getting closer to one, that's good. It takes time to develop, learn good, a two,
and there are things that can happen to make you want to retreat and run back in there. But
my encouragement would be, Sarah, maybe you misheard. So on a scale of one to three,
three being the most resistant to femininity, like you tend not to operate in that feminine
soft order, or one being most feminine, also a two. Okay. How much we have to juggle, too,
can cause us, and we just talked about that, it just can cause things to be a little out of balance.
But at any time, you can put those things back in order in your life. And I encourage you not
to resist it, because there's no man looking to date another man.
Okay. Just like nobody wants to come join you in your prison, or be around boring... You want to
be around a boring person? Nobody wants to come and join. People like to go to a party.
People like to be around encouragement, and laughter, and joy, and peace.
And so a feminine woman carries peace. She's not a raging storm walking around,
ready to pop out at any given time. All you got to do is slightly tap her. Right? And so that's
the thing about... Femininity carries peace. And so that's why we want you to work while you're
in this program. That's why it's a part of this, to help expand your capacity in this area, and to
help you grow in it. And hence that being said, we want you to work diligently to grow in your
feminine order, because you're going to need it for marriage. Because once you get in your marriage,
if you have not worked on your takeover mode, that you a boss at work, and then you're going
to come and be a boss at home, you are by default pushing your husband out of his place. So either
he's going to fight for it, and then he's just going to give up, and then you're going to be
the wife complaining that he don't do nothing, and you do everything. When you know good and
well, you fought that man tooth and nails to have that position. So do yourself the greatest favor
you could do, and take this time now to grow in the areas that need to be strengthened, that need
to be established for some of us, and expanded. And so as we do the inner work and the hard work,
this will help us become more feminine in nature, to become more of a receiver.
One of our, not one of them, yeah, one of the activation for this week is an activation of
receiving, where you get to practice receiving. Receiving really opens you up, right? And also,
when we receive more,
we actually fear less.
A lot of the decisions we make to guard
and protect ourselves are rooted in fear.
That's why the posture of a heart has a lot to do
with your feminine order.
So if you are fearful that if I do this,
you're gonna do that.
And if I allow this, this is gonna happen.
All of that is old wounds and baggage, right?
But the heart posture of a feminine heart,
you can't be open to receive if you're always guarding,
if you're always protecting.
Hence, Jackie says that we are God defended.
And I've talked about this before,
being God defended comes with a journey.
And so we will say it a lot, but remember you're God defended
but it didn't really feel that way at first.
It took me, drum roll, about a year to realize
I was God defended.
I didn't give up though.
So you gotta think, you'll start out
first time hearing God defended,
you agree with it logically in your mind
because yeah, God does defend us.
But to partner with him on this journey to marriage
is a whole different form of being God defended.
That means that you're not trying to go do the research
and protect yourself.
That means that you're not going ahead of the process
and to protect yourself in the future
and missing the present.
And I think this is something,
I don't know if y'all seen Nadine's post
but she has the most beautiful date.
And she had the most beautiful flower.
If that was not the perfect one of the,
I've seen some perfect first dates,
but that was one of the perfect first dates.
He brought her pretzels and cause she's German
and he wanted her to taste it right there in front of him.
So that tells you he was super excited, right?
And it was just such a beautiful date.
But one of the things I come in and then said to her
and it's posted and she said that she liked the flowers
and she had been there before,
but she didn't allow herself to fully enjoy that moment
because she said, I'll enjoy it later on
when I can see who you really are.
That is a mindset that takes us out of a feminine order
because a feminine order receives
and it doesn't allow you to live in the joy
that's in front of you,
to receive the moment that you're in
because you've gone ahead,
you've taken back from the past what has happened
and you brought it to the present and it's from the enemy.
It's still, it's a thief of your joy.
And it's challenging to do that though
because you have to override,
actively override everything you know
to get to and to live in this space.
And so you will have to be equipped
with something in the back of your head.
Maybe Nadine would have did this
because she is really exceptional with things.
If she knew that would happen,
she could have kept telling herself
when the enemy came to rob her of the joy of that moment,
she could have kept telling herself, I live for today.
I live for right now.
I don't have grace for six months.
I have grace for today.
My grace for today says to receive these beautiful flowers.
Whether he turns out to be a monkey on a tree,
it really doesn't matter.
This day, her first date,
he met her with pretzels and with flowers
and nothing can take that experience away.
But we will allow our past experience
and what somebody even does in the future
to rob us of the experience that we had.
It doesn't have to be that way.
That experience can be an experience all within itself
because right now,
every one of you have signed up for this program
and you are in partnership with God for your love story.
So that means no matter who jumps ships,
you still in partnership with the Lord.
That's who you're partnering with.
You're not partnering with their maybe.
You're not partnering with their hope.
You're not partnering with their decision.
You're not partnering with scarcity.
You're not partnering with fear.
You're partnering with the Lord.
And as you get more grounded
in the part of partnership with the Lord,
partnering with the Lord,
you can take on or receive more of the mindset
in a full understanding of being God defended.
And it all is a journey and it's okay.
It's all a journey.
And so it can be very frustrating.
Why?
Because there's a part you play
and there's a part God play.
And sometimes those lines get crossed over.
It gets blurry
because there's so many things you have to do
and the things that you can't do, God does.
But we're like, I'm putting this formula in
and it ain't producing.
That's frustrating.
But then we forget about it.
about our partner, right?
So there are possible, these are,
and I just want to make mention of them
because we won't get through all of them,
and that's OK because I want to give us
some time to take questions.
And so for the sake of it, I'll read them
and then I'll touch on two.
There can be common dating blocks,
and we can all experience them.
We all carry them at some point, whether we started with them
and we no longer have them.
And they come in patterns.
And usually, the first pattern is
overgiving or over-controlling.
Another pattern is guarded or over-protective.
And so in our first pattern, what we have
is overgiving or over-controlling.
What does this look like, trying to secure the outcome?
How many of us try our very, very best
to secure the outcome?
All right, yes.
I try to secure the outcome, not just in dating.
You're going to see you try to secure the outcome in life.
It's like, let me set this up so this could be this way.
We're going to try to secure our outcome.
And ideally, in our mind, when we're securing the outcome,
it's to protect ourselves.
Hence, you are God-defended.
Let him protect you.
Over-texting or over-initiating.
And most of us fear this.
So I've seen most women err on the side of,
he ain't pursuing me.
He said he liked me, and he ain't texting me.
So we actually go too far on the other side.
OK, control-free, trying to work on it.
Oh, good, Rosanna.
But over-texting or over-initiating,
and for some of us, it's under-texting or under-initiating.
In the ideal of, a man's supposed to pursue me,
that's where this thing has it.
He's supposed to pursue me, or yeah,
he's supposed to pursue me.
He's supposed to do it all.
And you don't also, also, we want, some of us
want people to prove, prove that they're not
going to hurt us, prove that they're good.
So that's what happens when you are given something,
you're like, oh, I'll wait to see.
Prove to me that you are who you say you are.
That's a roadblock.
This proves something to me is birthed out of fear.
And so when you see that rising up in you,
that you want somebody to prove so that you could feel secure,
I want you to know you'll never feel secure,
because you are not secure.
People cannot make you feel secure.
They can only do it temporarily because they are human,
and they are going to do something that causes you pain.
So why?
Because you get to practice forgiveness.
You get to practice grace.
And if you're unwilling to practice forgiveness or grace,
dry your tears about God giving you a husband.
Because the foundation of marriage
is forgiveness and grace.
If anybody is going to hurt you to your core,
it's going to be your husband.
If you're going to forgive him more times
than you forgive anybody else in your life,
that's who you do life with every day.
Every day, day in, day out, wake up, lay down, wake up,
lay down, wake up, lay down, wake up.
And that doesn't mean that they're going to come and rip
your family apart, but it does mean
you have to do life with them.
You have to do life with yourself.
That's tough enough.
And so forgiveness and grace is a core.
It's a core foundation in marriage.
Some of us give too much too soon.
We just lay it all out.
And then some of us refuse to give anything.
We refuse to show up with a smile.
We refuse to be ourselves, because I'm just
going to wait to see how it's going to go.
You're never going to get to how it's going to go,
because nobody don't want to be around somebody
that look like they sucking on a lemon.
Nobody wants to talk to somebody who has a security checklist
just to talk to them, OK?
You don't even want to talk to a man that has a checklist.
When a man tells, I've talked to enough women,
and I've heard it so many times, when
a man starts talking about what he wants, most all women say,
well, I just feel like I didn't want to talk to him anymore.
It's like he's trying to make me add up or measure up
to something.
Have y'all ever heard anybody say something like that?
Or do you know what I'm talking about?
Are we all together on this?
When it feels like a man is judging you or measuring you.
And the first thing you say is, he don't even know me.
Ladies.
That's the same thing when you do it to a man.
We're called human beings.
One is a male, one is a female.
We all bleed blood.
We all have a heart.
We all hurt.
We're all trying to protect ourselves from something
in some way is human.
Nobody wants to be hurt.
And so your checklist and all of your questions,
that's how they can make a person.
Nobody wants to work to be something for you.
They will never get there.
You just never get there
because the person has actually put something
in place to protect them.
When you believe that men are liars,
there ain't gonna be no man who could tell you enough truth.
Why?
Because you're waiting for him to lie.
You're waiting to prove what you believe
to be true about him.
This was up.
I was like the greatest offender of this.
I believe that they gonna,
you gonna lie to me
and I'm gonna remember everything you said.
So when you do lie, I'm gonna catch you in it.
I was like a tape recorder.
Baby, you can take me a year back.
I know exactly what you said and when you said it,
especially if I suspected it wasn't true when you said it.
So I'm gonna ask you 400 questions from that one thing
just to catch you up.
And then after I don't catch you up,
I am making a note.
Yes, receipts.
You said, and I got enough of that receipt
to take it from the top of the conversation,
the middle of the conversation,
the back end of a conversation.
All in the name of protecting myself,
all in the name of fear.
My mind said, well, you're not gonna get over on me.
I won't be the one you get over on, right?
And so, and then ignoring intuition to avoid losing someone
and we see this a lot,
in this phase, this is a lot.
Even if you went on to the next phase,
this is a real thing.
It is birthed from a scarcity mindset
and you just kind of avoid things
or you're like, well, I can try to make it work.
Some people actually go to the extreme.
They don't even try to investigate none at all.
And the other one like, I'm just, it's not happening.
It's not happening.
I thought we were perfect for each other.
He loves God.
He is this, he is that.
Now, this is just a weekend and we're perfect.
And so, we hold on out of scarcity.
So, and then managing the connection
instead of allowing it.
So, what that means is you try to manage the connection.
If the person didn't call at this time,
why didn't they do it?
Instead of allowing the connection
to take its natural course, right?
That's just a small example.
So, getting nervous every time something
it seems a little bit off kilter.
Letting a person show up and be who they are.
This is a pattern that we actually operate in,
but we said that this could look like
trying to secure the outcome,
over texting or over initiating.
And I'm responding to a chat question, ladies.
Giving too much too soon,
ignoring your intuition to avoid losing someone
or managing the connection instead of allowing it.
Think of it this way.
Every time you override yourself to keep someone,
you delay alignment.
You are dating for discovery.
The best tool you can keep in your tool belt is this.
This is not my husband.
But if within your mind you have decided,
yes, I am dating for a husband
and that's just the way it's gonna be.
You're gonna have a lot of roller coaster ups and downs
on this journey.
Because you do not date for a husband.
In this phase, dating is a skill that we are using
to help you grow and to expand for the love story
that God is writing for you.
And if every man you talk to, you say, is this the one?
It is torturous because you start evaluating him
off of expectations of a husband
and you skip getting to know this person as a person.
You don't even show up as yourself
because you're too busy trying to see if he is the one.
And so if he didn't meet this then,
he didn't meet this then, he go to church
but I don't really think he into church that much.
And so I just know that we're not gonna work.
Well, my golly, what if he went to church
and when you came along, he got a little bit more committed
and he joined a mean group within three months.
But that's, do you understand people grow
and I'm not saying that you change the foundational
standards.
That's not what I'm saying to you.
I'm not saying you take somebody
who is not committed to Christ,
talking about they're gonna grow, hear me.
Because I know how we twist things over.
That's not what I am saying to you.
I am saying we need to show up and see people as people
and that's it.
And let them be who they are.
When you go, if every time you click on a man,
if it is a real thought that comes up
every time you click on them,
every time you go out with somebody,
you're putting, and every time they check the box
and say they love God,
and then you start planning,
what would life be like if I live there?
What would life be like if they live here?
They say they got children.
How can we move this around?
Well, I'm okay with children.
I guess I could do that.
When you hear those thoughts, cut them jokers off.
We avoid dating for a husband
by understanding that in phase two,
you use dating as a skill to help you grow.
If you ladies are on this calling,
you can attest to this, please raise your hand.
When you start dating,
you actually do discover things about yourself.
Who knows that?
Let me just let the ladies who don't know that,
that this is a real thing.
That when you start dating, you discover a lot about you.
And you actually discover more about you
than you do about them.
And it's not gonna touch you until you start that dating.
And so what I do is every man that I get to know,
especially if he look like he gonna really pan out,
I remind myself that he is not my husband.
And if he is my husband, the Lord will make it clear.
Because you will take those expectations
and miss an opportunity to get to know a wonderful person.
You will judge too soon, too harshly,
because in you, you're gonna go into protection mode.
And if you believe that that is your spouse,
everything they do, you're gonna overanalyze it
because you're trying to protect yourself from hurt.
You don't need to go into fantasy land.
That's another place you'll go to.
And you look up and you only been talking to him for a week.
Two weeks.
This is not a good way to guard your heart.
And so you remind yourself constantly
by repeating it in your mind.
This is not my husband.
Why?
Because you wanna ground yourself
so you can see the person that's in front of you
and they can see you.
You are not auditioning to be his spouse.
So you're not sitting there saying,
yep, I got that.
He said he want that.
Yep, I got this.
He said he want that.
Yep, I got this.
He said, now let me show him all that I have.
It really goes that way.
You don't know it subconsciously.
You start operating with that person this way.
And so I wanna encourage us not to do that
because that actually delays alignment
in the person that heaven is writing into your love story.
God, I've been around enough to know
that God will develop us.
If you're gonna have a kingdom marriage,
the Lord wants to expand you, grow you, and develop you.
And this idea that you want a husband
just because you want one
when you're partnering with the one
who is the source of our resources.
When you're partnering with the one
who wants you whole and complete, lacking no good thing,
he is not gonna override the things
that he know lives on the inside of you
that will hijack and terminate a marriage
because it's gonna happen.
Nobody about to live in all this confusion with you,
all this unforgiveness, no grace, entitlement,
and it's not gonna disappear.
It's a part of who you are.
And you use this phase to iron these things out of you
to sharpen yourself.
And you can do it freely with no pressure.
When you get married, you're gonna have the pressure
of marriage saying, you gotta shape up,
you gotta shape up, you gotta shape up
because you're gonna be directly affecting
someone else's life,
which will affect the temperature of your household.
And after that beautiful wedding day,
you're gonna be pretty miserable.
You can ask any married woman you want.
This is a true thing.
And so take this phase that you're in right now
is designed for this and use dating as a tool
to help you develop.
All right, and then I'm gonna stop right there
because we're gonna wrap up at 8.30 and it's 7.45.
And so that gives us about 45 minutes.
Any questions about anything I shared,
any misunderstandings, you need some clarity.
If you do need clarity on what I just shared,
not another question you have about dating or like dating,
but in regards to the teaching.
Can you ask that question now?
Just unmute and ask that question now.
I was wondering about, Ebony, so you mentioned that common dating blocks that come in patterns,
you said one is over giving and over controlling, and were there points underneath, how many
points were underneath those two, and then how many points were underneath the over guarded,
over protected?
Yeah, and we didn't, so it's 6.246 under over giving, over controlling, I didn't go to the
part two, which is patterned guarded, and the next pattern is guarded or over protected.
So, and that's why I cut it out, I didn't go over it, I was like, oh, I need to stop
and take questions.
Okay, so we didn't go over the over guarded and over protected, we just went over the
six points of over giving and over controlling?
Yes.
Cool, that helpful, thank you.
You're welcome.
Ebony, I am curious about, I'm Joanne, like what does guarding look like versus, like
good boundaries, you know what I'm saying?
Yes.
And how do you not over, what is the antidote to not over control, which is, I think it's
trusting God, but it's easier said than done.
Yeah, that is easier said than done, especially if you've not really practiced trusting God
in this area before.
And so, let's just look at that, guarded and over protected is a pattern that we can operate
in, and this is not to be confused with insecurity, because that's not what this is, but it's
not insecurity, it's actually protection, so you're trying to protect yourself.
This can be like very rigid boundaries that prevent intimacy, and we're not talking about
sexual intimacy, we're just talking about intimacy, intimacy you see, you get to know
me as a person, you get to know that I'm joyful, that I'm funny, that I'm outgoing, I'm whimsical,
like that is very rigid boundaries that that person can't even get to know you because
you're afraid to show up as yourself.
And then quickly shutting down when vulnerability appears, so it's time to be vulnerable, you
just shut down.
Vulnerability does not mean giving all of your emotional baggage or putting everything
on the table about your family, your past dating relationships, and something about
how someone hurt you, that is not the type of vulnerability I'm talking about, but I'm
talking about vulnerability where you just show up as you, like, hey, you just said something
and I don't know how to take it, but I want to think about it for a little while because
it kind of affected me a little bit, I don't know what it is, but I will tell you about
it.
That is a learned language, vulnerability is learned also, but it's being willing to
just show up as you, not to be accusatory, to speak for you and you alone, okay?
And so instead of you showing up as you and speaking that, hey, something really bothered
me or that was offensive to me, I don't quite know why, but I'll let you know when I do,
you just shut down and you're about to exit the scene, okay?
And then the next one is staying emotionally self-contained.
You have trouble with staying emotionally self-contained, right?
You can't contain your emotions or you feel like everything you feel needs to be said
even though you haven't investigated the root cause, you haven't ran it by anybody, you're
just so anxious, you got to get it out, you got to say this thing.
Or your feelings overriding, just don't feel good, not just the Lord, I know God not telling
me this, I know God not telling me to move forward, God is saying don't do that.
You know, then you assign God to the thought, you assign God to the emotion to help convince
yourself of what you're doing, okay?
And then the last one is what I just said, calling it discernment, but avoid openness,
avoiding being open, you call it discernment.
And that's why it's so important to bring your thoughts to community and let other people
review your thoughts, let the coaches look at your thoughts, let your community look
at your thoughts that they may have something to add to help you see differently.
You ladies always have so much good insight, most of us experience the same things, literally,
there's not much difference at all.
I've been doing this long enough, I've watched ladies long enough, most of y'all think the
same things I think, it's just the way it is.
And so protection can be powerful, but it can also block connection.
And so in this program, you're learning and growing on how to be God defended, where you
don't have to guard yourself, meaning hence protect yourself from some future outcome.
that you have not arrived to yet, and it's okay to be in this moment where you are.
And you don't have to concern yourself about what's coming in the future
because the future is not here yet. You submit yourself to order, you submit yourself to the
boundaries that Jackie has given us in this program, and that's how you guard your heart
without diligence. If you're willing to submit to the order of boundaries, you will guard your heart,
but you will hardly ever get very far with guarding your heart under the guise of fear.
Fear is not a good guarder of your heart. It blocks you and stops you from having life and
enjoying life and moving forward. Fear is not a good protector. Boundaries that you submit to
guards your heart. Pacing, slowing down guards your heart.
That's going to serve you best, okay?
Okay, all right. So, I hope that helped, Joanne. Let's go, Claudia. Claudia, did you leave? Well, if you hear me, you didn't leave.
I'm here, sorry. Oh, you're okay? You had a question? Oh, no, I was just agreeing with,
I thought you were asking us to raise our hand for. Okay, it was still, okay, sorry.
Oh, no, you're okay. You're okay. The next person was Nadine.
Hey, all. I think you answered my question, I think, but I think I just really need to
focus on being present and not thinking about the future, but I do think I have a question about,
okay, so I know that I need to keep dating other people, just that's going to help me
guard my heart and not keep my mind focused on someone if I like them, but, like, do I
need to slow things down even further or am I overthinking? Well, what is the pace right now?
I mean, every day there is a, like, a text message and I would say we have maybe two,
sometimes three conversations a week on the phone. No, you have to get to know each other.
I think him reaching out is a sign that he enjoys you and so you have to get to know each other.
Don't rob yourself of the experience of getting to know someone. Yes, it does come with its risk,
but you're not going to marry somebody, fall in love with somebody without a risk associated with
it, but you're guarding your heart without diligence by keeping pace, and I know you're
asking the question, like, am I pacing this properly? But you have to get to know a person,
so you don't want to cut that out, but talking too much would look like, okay, sometimes you
may get a little, I call it phone wasted. Like, you know, you first start talking to somebody
and you're like, okay, I'm gonna get the phone now. Well, you know, it's two hours later,
and I'm gonna get the phone and it's like, I really gotta go to work, and then you say,
I'm not gonna do that again. Then you do it the next day and the next day until you burn yourself
out, but sometimes you're gonna get a little phone wasted. That's fun, but other than that,
you do, you start your pacing and you're doing a good job with pacing and pacing really helps a
lot. It really does. Okay, I think my schedule is just so busy, so it's hard to, like, include
other dates, and I think that's where I'm kind of, like, a little overwhelmed, because I feel
like that's going to be really important to me, or like, to make sure that I'm still dating other
people. I think that's going to be really important so I don't get attached, but I just feel like
with my schedule, it's kind of hard. So let's challenge your propensity to get attached.
Let's say this time I am going to use this low-stakes, getting-to-know relationship
to deal with my quick attachment. So when you feel yourself wanting to attach, you tell yourself,
no, I am getting to know him, and he is, he feels worth the journey of getting to know,
and I'm definitely worth the journey, because just because you have a propensity to do something
doesn't mean you have to do it. You know yourself, and because you are aware of yourself,
you can lean yourself in the other direction. And if it gets too bad, then start up a chat
with someone else if you want, but Nadine, you do have a very full life.
And so just because you're only talking to him,
it doesn't mean that you're hooked on him.
It's just that you have a full life and you're a single mom
or you co-parent, but you're trying
to fit all these things in.
And so I don't want you to fear just getting to know him.
You guys are not exclusive.
You're going to wait 90 days before you go exclusive
or 60 days.
You still have all these things.
If the conversation comes up and you like them,
tell him the date on the calendar
where you'll revisit those things.
OK.
So if you like him, you're enjoying him,
I want to encourage you to continue getting to know him.
OK.
You like him?
I do like him, but I don't like saying it out loud.
And I feel like it's funny.
I was telling my friend Mandy, I think she's on the call.
I was like, every time I feel like I say something,
I'm like, I'm praying.
I'm like, Lord, am I going to get a no?
I get the off the hook.
You know what else?
You said you might get a no about what?
Well, just about everything.
I feel like every call that I've got on with you, when I share,
I just automatically assume the response is going to be no
or don't do that.
And it's been the opposite.
So it's been.
Yeah.
Yeah, I see what you're saying.
Nadine, I think I still remember the word that I shared with you
when I believe it's your season to come out
of the boxes and the things that have kept you bound.
And all of the rules that you have that you think
are going to guard you and protect you,
it's just time to have fun and live out loud.
And heaven is not concerned about you
or some big mess that you're going to make.
Because he wants to expand your capacity for your love story.
Because the things that you carry
that you think are guarding your life from some big uh-oh
are going to be the things that hinder you
from walking into your love story.
And they just can't go.
They can't go there.
Because they are actually not just something
you're doing because of love.
It's something you're doing to govern yourself with.
And the Lord wants you governed by grace.
He wants you governed by wisdom.
Fear is not a good governor.
It keeps us bound.
All right.
OK, well, then I'll go dancing next time.
Go dancing!
All right.
Thank you.
Great.
You're welcome.
Karen.
Hey, is it?
I didn't see if there's another Karen.
So are you talking to me?
Oh, it's you, Karen, from OWL.
OK.
So it was just God's grace that I was asked out in person
by someone because I haven't gotten the courage to do
an online dating profile.
And now I really want to.
So praise the Lord.
He's like, come on, get out of that nest.
Let's do this.
Yeah.
Karen had a really good date, too.
Yeah.
Like, he even called the day before to confirm.
I was like, who is this?
A mature, masculine man?
What in the world?
That was so nice.
And he hasn't over-texted at all.
It's just been like, yeah, which is great.
So a few questions.
You addressed some of them.
But the whole, what are you looking for in a man?
And how's the dating scene going for you?
I tend to freeze up because I'm like, uh,
I haven't thought about that.
I don't know.
And I don't want to share too much.
So your voice is in the back of my head sometimes,
which is good.
Be like, is it OK to stay marriage-minded, masculine,
mature?
You know, that is a question that evens a tongue twister.
And so I learn language that I'll keep
using over and over and over.
And so when someone asks you, how's dating going for you?
It's like, well, can't be going too well.
I'm talking to you.
OK, I love that you said that, Ebony,
because I totally want to be snarky like that.
But I'm like, is that not feminine?
Can be like, well, I'm here.
I'm talking to you.
Just say, oh, it has its ups and downs, something like that.
You know, dating has its ups and downs.
It's a good way to get to know people.
So that's a really good response.
Ooh, I like that.
You're getting to know a lot of different people.
I love that.
Yeah?
And it doesn't show how active you are
or how not active you are.
Right.
And it doesn't say, I'm just, though nobody want me.
Right.
My phone is dry.
My prospects are dry.
Do you want to be my man?
No, no, not yet.
No.
It's ups and downs.
And then some, this didn't come up.
but especially at the kind of break of age I am, I'm 42,
a lot of times it does come up like, so do you want kids?
Like that comes up really early on
versus like in my 20s and 30s,
it didn't come up for months, you know?
But now it's like a deal breaker for a lot of people,
depending on your answer.
Yeah, and it can be nerve,
it can be, it can make you nervous when they ask a question
because you don't know how they're gonna respond.
And let's say you believe in God,
still believe in God for children.
And it'd be like, at your age,
like they probably would say something like,
you don't know, should I say yes, should I say no?
But if you still want children or you desire children,
they say, so do you want children?
You say, yeah, you know, I wouldn't mind children.
I wouldn't mind children.
Yeah, that's your answer.
And so what is important to remember at that point,
this is gonna be key,
that if that's not what they want, it's okay,
they're not the one for you.
Right, right.
Like if they say, oh, this is a no-go for me,
they need that space and they have their right to do that
because there are things that men say to you
and you'd be like, oh no, it's a no-go.
Like when you say, my faith is really important to me,
how do you express your faith?
And then like, well, one guy told me that he was 51
and he said he hadn't read his Bible
not one time in his whole life.
And you done told me everything I need to know.
Yeah.
And so I just said, oh, wow, that is interesting.
We moved that conversation right along.
Yeah, well, even with that, Ebony,
you know, it was a little like, oh, put a pin in that.
He said he was looking for someone to go to church with
and hold hands in church, someone who's religious,
but like just the way he was saying it,
I wasn't getting the connotation
that he actually has a relationship with God.
He just is like a good Iowan that goes to church
and wants to have someone that goes to church
and hold hands with.
But I know that's like, oh, okay, I need to discover more,
like hear him, because that's just like a one-off comment.
Yeah, maybe he has this desire
when he see a husband.
You know, as a woman,
when you see a family pull up to church
and the husband's getting the woman
and they walk up the stairs
and he drop the kid, got the child care.
He comes find her at the seat.
When they worship, they put their arm around each other
and just get back and forth.
And in your heart-
Those are the couples you don't sit behind
when you're in an emotional state.
I know.
And in your heart, you say,
I want a husband that I can stand with and worship.
Yeah.
That's what he just said to you.
A wife I can hold hands with and worship at church.
And so he just said what his desire was.
And so I can't say that there's a measurement
of who he is for Christ or his potential for growth
or any of those things.
He just told you his desire
and maybe he shared that desire with you
because he found out that women have that desire.
I don't know.
Yeah.
When do we start talking more about biblical processes?
I'm a little guarded on how deep I'm conversing
because of the program,
but at what point is that more towards the end of month two
that you dive more into what's your faith walk look like?
No, you can ask the person,
and if you're out to coffee with them,
you can say, my faith is really important to me.
Can you share with me your belief system?
It's not a private question.
So when we think about,
when we're talking about spiritual boundaries,
we're talking about praying with them,
reading scripture with them,
doing Bible study with them,
going to church together,
putting yourself in that position in place.
And because what it does,
it speeds things up and it makes you believe
that you know a person better than you do.
So it's keeping it at third party conversation
in the sense of like,
here's the object we're talking about,
which is faith versus sharing it.
Yeah, versus sharing it.
And another thing is,
when you are talking to someone about their faith
and you're evaluating them,
they can feel it and sense it.
Sure.
And so you wanna,
people talk about their faith,
it's gonna come up.
Yeah.
If they are,
you ladies know if Jesus,
you know, we can,
you can just start talking about Jesus at any point.
Like it just comes up,
or you could be saying,
I was really praying,
I asked the Lord to help me with this,
and he did it.
And that's not even a conversation about faith,
but you're just telling something.
I was talking to one of my coworkers today
and she's Muslim.
And I said,
oh girl,
and I just asked Jesus to help me.
And I said,
I prayed and I asked the Lord,
me, I'm not thinking about she's Muslim,
I'm not thinking about we have different religions.
I'm showing up as me.
And I wasn't like anybody else.
Like I prayed about it.
I asked the Lord to help just come in language for me.
And so that common language will come about.
That's beautiful.
That's a great example.
I have one more question.
I was noticing, tying it back to heart work,
if you envision a newspaper
and certain words are highlighted,
I was highlighting all the different comments
to my physical body when I was this whole.
And what was fascinating
is that when we're standing there ordering coffee,
I got there first, waited for him.
And after he got there
and we ordered coffee and everything,
the barista says to me in front of him,
I hope this isn't awkward.
And it was a female, you are so beautiful.
Which took me by surprise.
And I received it and thanked her.
And he made some sort of comment of like,
well, she's not the only one that thinks you're beautiful,
which is like charming and cute and all that.
But, and he has said in different,
cause we keep running into each other
at business networking events.
That's how we first connected and he saw me at church.
He'll say things like, you look cute by the way.
You know, just things that men normally say.
Yeah.
But I was realizing what happened inside of me
was a guard went up.
And I was like, what is that about?
And later when I was thinking and praying about it,
I was like, what, why?
And it goes back to other traumas and other relationships
of kind of what Nadine was saying is like,
okay, I need to wait to see if he's after my body.
If I can receive that comment as like an actual compliment,
like you don't know me.
Because I've had experience of like
only hearing comments about my body
and nobody actually wants to get to know me.
Yeah.
So like, what's a antidote?
Because like, I don't know him.
I can't put,
I shouldn't put like past experience onto him.
Yeah.
Well, right.
Stop doing that.
And you didn't know the barista,
but it didn't stop you from receiving her compliment.
And so what happens is you keep bringing,
some man is having to pay for your past experiences
and it's not right.
And so with you being a believer,
you can pour from a different well.
You don't have to keep pulling from your past
to feed it out to others.
Let people drink of the goodness
that lives on the inside of you.
Don't give them old, stale, moldy food
that is gonna turn their stomach
the same way it turns your stomach.
And so sometimes we have to realize the power
that lives on the inside of us.
And we don't have to pull from yesterday's news
that we have an active future
that's in front of us right now.
Because if a man says that you're cute, by the way,
he's not actually making sexual comments about your body.
He's actually talking about you in general.
And you're getting this wall to come up
because it's like, what do you want from me?
Yeah, exactly.
Are you gonna get something from me?
And so the best way to deal with that coming up
is when it comes up, then you tell it, no.
He doesn't want, okay.
So this is the thing,
and this is gonna tie into that.
What does somebody want from me?
Are you plotting on me?
People cannot get from you what you do not give.
They can't take advantage of you.
Yeah.
You can't be taken advantage of.
You're not in some vulnerable state.
You're not the one that does not operate under boundaries.
That's why you submit yourself to boundaries
to guard your heart.
It's called guarding your heart with all diligence.
That's what boundaries serve in your life.
They are your police.
Because no one can take advantage of you.
Have you ever offered somebody something before?
And they was like, oh no, I don't wanna take your chips.
You can't take nothing from me.
I offered it to you.
It's the weirdest thing people say.
I don't wanna take that from you.
It's my hat.
And I just told my friend,
like I went over her house today and I was like,
do you want some of these popcorn?
She's like, oh, I don't wanna take that from you.
I said, so no, you don't want any?
And then so she's used to me.
And so when I started eating the popcorn,
she's like, I wanted those popcorn.
I said, I ain't sure that you want them.
And you said, you don't wanna take something from me.
I told you, you can't take it.
No stealing girl.
That's the thing you have to keep running
in the fact that that's the program
that has to run in your mind
that no, good night, Yesenia.
Nobody's taking anything from you anymore.
You're not a victim.
You're not in that position anymore.
You know how to operate in wisdom, right?
You are not a person who does not have wisdom.
And so with that meaning, you're equipped.
And so when a man gives you a compliment, you receive it.
And when that alarm goes up, your nervous system goes up.
It doesn't mean you're wrong.
It's just a natural thing that your body is doing.
It keeps a score.
It has a memory.
You inform that memory of where you are and who you are.
And when you feel it come up, say, I am beautiful.
All he gave me was a compliment.
I'm receiving a compliment.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Remap.
Yeah, I'm excited for your next date.
We'll see.
Yeah, one thing I want to tell you,
and I think I posted it on your post.
When you find someone and you feel like
this is really not gonna work,
but they are excellent person to be around,
like you enjoy them, but they have children,
you believe you don't really want that.
And they actually go on another date.
That's what helps you when you remember
that they're not your husband,
you're actually going on a date.
And that means they're easy date to go on.
They are, because I really don't care what he thinks.
You really don't care what he thinks.
You get to show up as yourself.
You've already made a decision.
So you get to show up fully in the more fully present
you are.
They show up more present.
And when they show up more present,
you get to see them for who they are.
You get to enjoy them for who they are.
And it really becomes low stake.
You know how when you're nervous
cause you really like a person?
So that's a whole nother person showing up.
But when you realize like,
I don't think we're really gonna work out.
And one other thing you could do
so that you won't carry any guilt because you know,
like I don't think this is going any further.
He really likes me.
You can offer to split the bill.
Yeah, I love that suggestion.
You don't keep letting them take on the bill.
The first time they'll pay the bill,
but the second time,
if you already know, you talk like we talked
and she's like, I had fun, it's a great person,
but I don't see us going any further.
Then when the bill comes, I say,
hey, we're gonna go what they call a Dutch tonight.
Go in Dutch.
Yep.
Yeah, and then if he says no, just say, okay.
Right?
And so, you know,
and then so by the third day,
that is when it's a yes till it's a no.
If you get up to the second day,
you really enjoy them.
You can say like, I really enjoy hanging out with you.
I think you're absolutely fun.
Now, this is on your second date.
You can say this, like, I think you're great.
I don't believe we're gonna go any further romantically
because, and you could tell your reasons,
not things about them like,
hey, I've never considered this setup
and it's not something that I want.
And so I thought it was only, you know,
thing that I wanna share with you.
If you would like to hang out again, it's fine,
but this is not a, I'm hanging on to you
or dragging you along.
I think that you're a great person
and not offering friendship.
If you wanna hang out again,
not saying I wanna be, you know,
that ain't what you're saying.
You're not saying you wanna be their friend.
If you wanna hang out again,
we can do that, but it won't be on romantic terms.
That's great language.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
And most men don't do it
because if they really like you,
they're not gonna do it.
Or they'll be like, if she go out with me,
she still want me.
I still have a chance.
That's men.
That's how they're designed.
They're wired that way.
Okay.
So true.
Yep.
All right.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Rosanna, Rebecca, wherever you are,
and is that cold,
I would like for Texas to experience
just a little bit without ice.
But hey, Rosanna.
Oh, you're talking to the kiddos.
That's okay.
Go ahead.
Can you hear me?
Yes.
Okay.
Sorry.
I didn't know if it was my,
I heard you say my name,
but I wasn't sure if I was next.
Sorry.
Hi.
Okay.
So I think you,
I don't know if Nadine is off now,
but it kind of,
I don't know her whole thing.
I might have to,
did she post some stuff on video
about a guy or other people?
Yeah, she did a video
and she did a post in the wingings.
Okay.
Yeah.
Great.
I'm gonna check it out
because hers sounds a little similar to mine.
Hers sounds a little similar to mine.
So I've been on,
and I told some of the other girls,
like, I think I've done like the seven, right?
Can you guys put the fan back on please?
I need to,
I need you not to listen to me.
Sorry.
It's my kids.
Like, sorry.
I had like two,
no, I've had four phone calls
and then two of them turned into dates.
And then the other one's like pulling teeth
to talk to some of these men
and it was better on text.
And then I was like,
oh, thank goodness we talked on the phone
because going out with you would have been not fun.
And so,
anyway,
I went out on two dates.
I'm on the phone right now.
Let's try doing a little bit of oyster drinking.
Okay, it's okay.
It's okay.
It'll fix.
I'm sorry.
It's my youngest.
Close the door and turn it on.
So I went on with one guy, a really, really nice guy, and then I went out with another
guy within a couple days of each other.
Well, I just feel like I clicked a little bit more with one, even though the other one
was really nice too.
But then I went out on a second date with the other guy.
And during this time, however, I had really rough stuff going on with work, like very
bad stuff.
And it got me in a whirlwind of certain things.
And so this one guy, the other one I was talking to, he was like, oh, I'd love to be able to
hear about it through text.
But then I just noticed I was veering off more towards the other guy and wanting to
share somewhat a little bit more.
And then so anyway, it's been almost like a month and a half.
That's when we met on Facebook dating.
And so I think I'm trying to understand, I'm like, oh my goodness, this is what it
feels like to be pursued.
He'll call me, he's like, hey, when can I see you again?
Or when can we talk again?
Because we talk on the phone a couple nights a week now and he'll text me.
And he's going through some stuff too that's difficult.
And it's just fun.
I think at times when we've hung out or when we've left, he's always like, I've really
enjoyed talking to you.
And this guy could be such a great, I'm loving this friendship that we're developing.
But there's obviously some, I'm guarded.
So when you said that, the guarded or overprotected type things, please put the fan on.
And he can tell.
But I just know for myself, just because I haven't been in the dating world for 20 years.
And I'm just like, and I'm trying, I love your advice of they're not your husband, none
of these guys.
And so it's very nice that I'm doing that.
But I don't know if the scarcity mindset of certain things come on because I still
have Bumble and Facebook dating, but they are on pause.
I'm not even talking to anybody.
I was too stressed out with work.
And I actually told the other guy, hey, you've been really great, but I, I'm not in a place
right now to be able to, to pursue anything more right now.
You're a fantastic blah, blah, blah.
And he received it fine.
I didn't do it with this other guy though.
Like I don't have a problem talking to him.
And there's, and there's occasional friends, guy friends that I have that I met on match
a year ago.
And then they found me on Facebook dating and they picked up the conversation.
I don't mind chatting.
I don't actually mind going out for coffee with them.
You know what I mean?
But like, it's like, he's like this other guy that I've rematched with a year or whatever.
He's like, Oh, I'd love to be able to talk again.
But in my brain, I'm like, yeah, but I want to talk to Noah.
So I'm really excited.
And like, it's just really cool when he's like, Hey, you looked phenomenal in that photo
you sent me.
Or, you know, this is that like, we exchange real numbers.
Like it's, I'm like, Oh my God.
So I'm just really trying to keep it slow.
My, I was very open with my children that I'm starting to date and I just, I'm really
having fun.
I guess I'm just trying to like, I think Nadine hit the nail on the head, like, am I pursuing
this enough?
Am I doing this right?
I don't know where I'm going to go.
But I love that you said you gave us freedom, like, get to know the person.
That's why we're doing this.
And I'm like, but then I'm like, did I go off on enough dates?
Or like, these guys like me on Bumble.
And but like, honestly, I'm too overextended with a lot of stuff.
And it's not like, but it's okay that my attention is drawn to this man.
And like, he's pursuing me and like, I'm just liking it.
You know what I mean?
Like, I was like, he's like, so I'd like to see you in a couple days, Mike.
Like, why?
Why is it so new to me that I'm because you know, let me tell you, can I tell you something?
I'm sorry.
This is what I was gonna say.
Yeah.
So I was talking to a guy from high school once back in the day.
He took me out on five dates, but in the beginning, the first four weeks or the first month, it
was really fun.
Like we went on a date within a week of one another, the first two dates, and then two
weeks later, we went on and then three weeks later, another and then like, he's like, hey,
football season's about to start.
I'm a football coach, blah, blah, blah.
It's really busy.
So it's gonna be hard for us to hang out.
That's fine.
And he was right.
It was a couple months.
We did that.
And then another time we went out.
Okay, so we went out in January.
And I did not hear from him after the date.
We like we sent a text afterward, whatever, it had been a whole month while at this point,
I had already been talking to Noah, I already went on three dates, I talked to four dudes,
like all this stuff.
And he this dude ends up popping up on my Facebook feed of a suggestion for a date.
And I'm like, get out of town.
So it's been a month since that same day, he writes me, he's like, Hey, Rosie, I just
want to update you.
I'm doing really well in school.
And I'm like, Oh, I'm so I'm not surprised, Kevin.
That's great.
And then he wrote like, How are you?
And I looked at and I'm like, I'll answer him later, girl.
and answer him until nine hours later.
Because I wasn't, you know?
And the thing is, is like, he was the one that,
at that point, I had only, that was the only interest,
because I wasn't on any apps.
So I was tolerating not being spoken to or texted
nine days, two weeks, all that stuff.
And I'm like, oh, he's just busy, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And somebody was like, at this age,
we all know exactly what we're doing.
And like, you don't want to believe like,
oh, maybe he really is.
Like, because he seems like he's interested, right?
Can I tell you, like, after talking,
I'm talking with Noah, and I'm like,
this guy wants to see me, he's texting me,
he's calling me, he's like, hey, when can we talk again?
I'd like to see you in the next couple days.
And then we see each other, and he's like,
hey, so when I'm gonna see you again?
I'm like, oh my goodness.
Why am I so nervous?
Like, why?
Not that I don't think I'm dope,
because there are days that I feel more dope than others.
And I'm ovulating, so I probably think
I'm real dope right now, but like.
You know?
Sometimes when you ovulate, you got to just not talk
to nobody, you got to be like, look, let's talk next week.
We can't hang out.
I just, I don't know why I should,
there shouldn't be a disbelief of why this man
wouldn't want to talk to me.
Like, why is it like some weeks I'm so good on myself,
and I'm right there in the hard work,
I'm there with the mind, the negative mindset is gone,
and then this man says, he's like, of course,
he had a whole list of questions, he went,
he's like, there's so much I want to know about you,
and I was just like, okay, I want someone
to be curious about me, I'm like an investigative reporter
when I'm with people, men and women,
I'm like, all that stuff, and he even wrote notes,
and he was just writing stuff down,
he's like, I don't want to forget,
I want to know what you, and I'm just like,
are you for real?
Like, who are you?
And it's just intentional, and I see it,
versus this other guy, who I don't get to hear from a month,
and then he sees me, I pop up on his feed of like Facebook,
so I respond, I'm like, oh, hey, Kevin, I'm doing well,
I'm fantastic, actually, I said, I'm fantastic,
life is great.
Man in blue has come along.
Yes, I did, and then I was like, how are you?
And he was like, oh, I'm debating on whether I should bulk
or cut with weightlifting, and he put LOL,
and I'm like, LOL, and I haven't talked to him since,
I was like, I'm occupied, but I'm like in this,
I don't know, I don't even know what I'm trying to say,
I am seeing the difference with being pursued,
versus tolerating some garbage,
like you don't want to talk to me for two weeks,
even though he was so nice, but I was like,
I was tolerating that little bit, little bit,
and guess who's looking at my stories now?
Kevin, from high school, he's looking at my stories now,
he's doing this, I'm like, eh-eh-eh.
What?
Well, you know, Rosanne, this is the thing we say,
until you experience it, this is true,
you're gonna know it once you experience it,
when a man wants you, you're gonna know about it.
Girl, girl!
You will know, and it only takes for one to do it,
and you will know that when a man wants you,
you're gonna know about it.
Yes.
Because that's just the nature of men.
Okay, yes.
It's nothing wrong with you, per se,
when you feel like you're this and that,
and they say it, and then sometimes you don't feel like it,
or you question yourself, why is he so into me?
Or what is it about me?
And it's not about...
I think that sometimes it's best
to put stuff in perspective.
It's not that he's so into you,
though he wants to get to know you,
but this is how he shows up, okay?
That's who he is,
this is how he's choosing to show up with you.
So then that cuts out if I'm worthy, or if I'm good enough,
or let me be something back for him.
That gives it back to him,
and this is how he's choosing to show up,
and apparently when he really wants to get to know someone,
he behaves this way.
That keeps you grounded, and you can feel free
in your feminine order to lean into it.
And as long as you submit yourself
to the order that you set in your boundaries,
you don't have a need to fear,
because you can't just float away with this stuff.
I'm telling you, it feels so, it's like, this ain't perfect,
but it's nothing, enjoy and embrace it,
and then Rosanna, you have to consider also
what your past looked like and the deficit
that you were living in with your late spouse,
and so you were starved of that,
and so a lot of that is playing back and forth,
and maybe even your late husband
was a little hopscotch with you.
Sometimes he made you feel valuable and important,
and the other times he drained you
and made you feel like you didn't matter,
and so those are just the rhythms
of the nervous system sometimes,
the rhythm of memories and things of such sorts,
and so don't.
give yourself grace and you just keep moving. And there are going to be some times you don't feel
like something, but he's choosing to show up that way. You've already chosen yourself.
That's beautiful to hear. I have chosen myself. I invested in this because I was like,
I'm worth it. And I'm learning to invest in myself. I went to a perfumery yesterday
a couple of days ago and I bought two expensive perfumes for me because it made me feel so
good. And baby girl hasn't been doing that. You know what I'm saying? I'm finally getting
haircuts more often. There's years, decades of deficit of always putting myself at the last
and I don't want to do that anymore. And I'm proud of myself for doing this. So yeah,
it is good. And it's not vanity to think I'm beautiful. It's not vanity to want to invest
in myself because I want to be there for my babies too. But I've been there for my babies,
but I need to be here for this baby right here. Baby girl wants to be taken care of.
So I need to take care of myself the way I want it so that when that man does come,
or in that dating experience, I'm like, nah, thank you. You know what I mean? I treat myself
better than you're treating me, which I'm just now realizing with this other dude,
and really small. And then I'll get off. So this guy that I met when I was talking to a couple of
girlfriends, he ended up being a childhood friend and a high school friend of two women that I knew
when I was like, Oh, it's this guy. No, they're like, and I showed the photo. They're like,
and I'll say, Oh, okay. And I actually ended up reconnecting somebody who's like a sister to him
when they were younger during like, just really difficult times. They not that they lost, they
always like had each other in each other's minds, but life happens. Right. And because I showed her,
she's like, that was like, he's like a brother to me. I was able to reconnect them. He was like,
Oh, wow. And he was just like, that was, it was a blessing. Nothing romantic. He was just like,
that's like my baby sister. Thank you. I can't believe we were. Wow. And I was like, okay,
Lauren, that's, I was like, well, let it be the, all the plan. Right. And so I'm excited. I thought
that that was really beautiful. She goes to church with me and we reconnected because I knew her from
middle school and high school. We hadn't seen each other in like what, 15, 20 years. And then
we reconnected, uh, at church and now she's reconnected with, uh, and they both reconnected
now because of me, like, I feel like God just really orchestrated a lot of stuff. So I think
it's really cool. Like also the distance of like, Oh, somebody knew, but she wouldn't have thought
about this guy. Right. Like, Oh, Hey Ro, cause they hadn't talked for a long time. So I think
it's really, it's really fun how there's there's connections. Yeah. I think dating community is
always fun when somebody knows somebody to know somebody it's really nice. You actually feel safer
too. I agree. I agree. So thank you so much. You're welcome. We're excited. Thanks. And ladies,
you guys are all so funny. We all like Noah at this point. Oh, Noah. All right. All right.
I'll be quiet now. All right. We're happy for you, Jasmine.
Uh, first off Rosanna, you are dope. I don't know where you're at in the world right now,
but I would totally hang out with you girl. I just had, he had me laughing. I'm in Ohio.
You're sweet. Yeah. I was like, she's fun. We should hang out. Totally.
I don't know where you're at, but okay. Ebony. Um, this is my first time actually.
I'm Jasmine. Nice to meet you. I'm from California. Um, my question to you is
where do we go to like do this matchmaking where we're actually someone's matching me with someone
else because I'm not doing the dating apps. Every time I go on, God's like, you need to get off of
this. So he's like specifically telling me personally, like you, you need to get off. So,
um, I am being bold and I'm asking people, do you know anyone that's on fire for the Lord,
you know, obedient to God, um, that's single because I meet people all the time, but they're
either one way too older. Like I'm not interested. They're too young, still not interested or they
don't know Jesus. So I'm like, and I don't want to go on a date for the sake of going on a date
because I feel like it's just wasting my time. And I don't have that. I want to be intentional
and like get to know someone that's actually like I'm working towards something or at least
I don't even think I would like to say friendship. Like obviously we build a friendship before you
start dating, but there's like people that like, you know, you start off as friends and I'm just
not interested. And they think that eventually I'm going to like be interested and it's not
going to happen. Like, and then it's weird afterwards. Like they make it uncomfortable.
Yeah. Like now I don't want to be your friend anymore. Yeah.
I'm going to let me answer that question. It's 8 30. So ladies, you're free to go,
but I'm going to read the activation. Then I'm going to answer your question. I put the
activation in the chat. And, uh, what we're going to do is you're going to do a non-negotiable task
list list. Um, and this week you're going to practice smiling intentionally once a day in
public, non-negotiable. If you don't smile a lot, you don't realize how much you don't smile.
I want to amp it up and smile at a man, make some eye contact. So somebody can ask you for
your number. You need to look available. All right. Receive help or kindness at least once.
Okay. Or pause before reacting instead of rushing. Say thank you without minimizing yourself.
Okay. Um, and then optional where something that makes you feel comfortable and confident,
not for approval, but just for you. Um, and I think I do that real often. Sometimes I put
earrings on that don't match what I'm wearing because they, those earrings make me happy.
Um, I feel good in them. So I don't care that it doesn't match because it's about me when I make
that decision. And so that's our activation. Um, and you don't have to stick around. I'm
going to answer Jasmine very quickly, and then we're going to wrap it up. And so Jasmine,
the matchmaking that you're talking about happens in phase three in Love Story Accelerator. Um,
and we have, uh, what do they call it? Like a coed community there. Okay. Second thing is
in this program, we believe in dating for discovery. So you're never wasting your time.
Okay. Cause it just don't, you can't waste your time because you don't know Jasmine
outside of your head about who you are, but when you show up dating people and you become,
you really want to get to know them. You also get to practice when they're not what's best
for your life. You also get to practice like, Hey, I don't think this is going to serve me well.
So practice saying bye bye. Right. Or you get to measure a person because ideally when we say,
when we think, well, my husband's got to be on fire for God, obedient, whatever your,
your list is about for your husband. Oftentimes that man doesn't show up in the form that Jasmine
thought he would because Jasmine is not the author of her love story. And in a marriage,
marriage is designed to make us more holy than happy in your hands, carry something that cultivates
what he is or is not. And it feels in the space where he carries something to cultivate what you
are not. Marriage is designed for strength and not for weaknesses. And so God is, he's,
he orchestrates marriage very divinely and very well. What happens is when we create a profile
in our mind about what it should be or look like, or show up, you find yourself very distant from
that person. And so it reminds me a lot of when the, when Samuel went to anoint David
and every man he looked at, he said, surely this is the one, but he could not find him. And then,
then the scripture says, he said, you look at the outer appearance of man, but I, the Lord,
judge the heart. And so because of that scripture, I've created a prayer or a thought or thing that
I ask the Lord, when I meet people, I say, Lord, how have you judged this man's heart?
Because I get the privilege to operate in leadership in ministry and in leadership and,
and work with pastors and mentors, all these people, when the anointing shines upon them
and everything that a woman thinks she wants, she can check off a list when she looked at that man,
but she doesn't know that he didn't know how to communicate. She doesn't know that he didn't
carry these things that are needed to sustain a healthy marriage because a pastor can't show up
at home. You need a husband, but the list we put together is based on that light.
It's not based on a person and you need a person. So ideally what a list would look like is a man
who's committed to righteousness, because all of us are going to be obedient sometimes and not so
obedient the next time all of us are going to be slow to move. This is part of our shaping and
growing. And when you learn to see people for who they are, you can actually scope out the
gold in them and let the Lord speak to you about how he's judged their heart.
So dating for discovery is an investment in you. Okay. Because the idea that you're going to meet
somebody and voila, they're going to be the one. If by luck, they become the one, as soon as you
meet them and God said, this is the one guarantee you will skip some stuff. If you don't understand
wisdom and the process of developing a healthy relationship, and that comes with wisdom.
And so if you skip bypass.
that process because you never worked that muscle before.
You don't know how to do that.
And then now six weeks you're married
and now you're married and you think you've made it
to the promised land and you have not
because you skipped so much time
where you could have been getting to know a person.
But that's a skill that you build, right?
And so we don't believe that dating
for discovery is ever a waste of time.
It's actually an investment with you
that teaches how to grow grace, forgiveness,
all these things.
So the next thing you said
is you've been telling people that you are available.
I think that is amazing because I think we should do that.
And so one example, I know this girl
and she's not really, she wouldn't run with me.
She's a believer, but she wouldn't run
on the level I would run with.
So my mind would never say to her,
ask her if she knows somebody,
but I just made the comment to her one time.
And I was like, do you know somebody?
She's like, actually I do.
I was like, you do?
She said, you're a godly man.
So me, I said, so in your opinion,
what is a godly man?
Because now I'm trying to see her level of what is godly.
But this is a person I wouldn't have considered,
but she really didn't know a godly man.
She said, well, I consider him godly
is because he prays with me.
He's my best friend.
He's rooted in prayer.
That's a godly man.
And so I'm saying it's the things that we see least likely.
And that's why when you're expanding yourself
and getting to know people.
And so back to getting to know people.
So you've already told people that.
But also the part of, and you may already do this,
but when you're out at the grocery stores,
there's plenty of men that you can talk to.
Yeah.
At the gym, there's plenty of men.
I talk to people a lot.
I'm very social because I do ministry.
So I'll just walk up to people.
And if I have to give a word or pray for them.
So I'm not afraid to approach people.
But it's also like, I know there's some people
that I know believe in Jesus.
But there's a difference between believing
and knowing Jesus.
So I think I would want to have, I'd
rather connect with someone that actually knows Jesus.
And I feel like it's just safer.
I don't know.
I'm still like, boundaries.
I don't want to, I could technically
go out with people right now if I really wanted to.
But I know it's not going to go anywhere.
So for the sake of just going on a date,
you want me to go on a date?
Well, because your lens are convinced
that there's nothing for you to be
gained from going on a date.
But dating is for discovery of Jasmine.
And the idea that you, the idea that I want somebody
who really knows Jesus.
Any level of growth that we've had in Christ
comes through a journey.
So that means you may can speak in tongues.
And you may can go out and minister and evangelize.
But there are things in your life
you have idols set up in your heart.
Things that have not been surrendered to the Lord.
And it doesn't change that you're on fire for him.
And so that's the level of awareness
that the believer has as they walk with the Lord.
So the idea that you know, you don't know
until you walk with a person,
their level of commitment to righteousness
or who they are.
I've walked in dear life.
I've been in a marriage, marriage relationship
with a man who's very committed to righteousness.
He wasn't me, but he didn't have to be me.
Because some of us women are going to need a man
who anchors us and hold the kite while we fly high.
So you're looking for a man to match or be something
in Jesus and God picked him because he's steady and stable.
And he gives you freedom to run
and do everything that God has called you to do.
You don't have a way of measuring that.
Because you're not God, you can't see it.
You don't know it.
And so he looks like, oh, he may not be this or that,
but he carries the qualities needed for Jasmine
to be her full expression in the earth.
Amen.
So it's just this idea that just like if a man meets you
and he tries to measure Jesus in you.
These things, we are fruit inspectors
and that takes observation and time.
And so it's not about, you want me to go on a date?
I'll just go on a date.
You can do that, but dating is for discovery,
not for finding your husband
because God is writing your love story.
So in the meantime, you can sit at the house
and wait for the Amazon package to come to the door
and not grow and not expand yourself
because it's not Jesus that's going to do the marriage.
Marriage is an institution.
So it's kind of like, I had a prophetic dream
and the Lord showed me my husband.
He can show you a husband in spirit all you want,
but you're going to live with a man that's in the flesh.
Right, I think you said it though.
That's how I was viewing it.
Well, it wasn't for discovery.
It was like God's bringing me to my future godly husband
and I want to date with intention.
also all these other people that are coming to me now,
I'm just like, I'm being very selective,
which I still think I should be to have standards.
Cause there's just certain people,
like someone wants to take me out,
but he like smokes weed
and I don't really want to be around that, you know?
So I'm like, I could go on a date with you,
but I'm also just, I find myself ministering to him.
Yeah. So let's create, let's create a foundation.
So ideally you want, if you've had a chance to watch a video,
you want a man that is mature, marriage minded, masculine.
Now the mature, all of these things,
you really don't really find out,
but you can kind of vet a person in the first week
of talking to them to see their feel.
So if they feel safe, if they feel,
if they smoke weed or something like that,
well, that's not how you want to spend your time.
I agree with it.
But there are quality men that may not be spiritually
or whatever else we may have that we desire,
but they're quality men that you can go on a date with.
And so all I'm saying is there's never a time
when you go on a date that you're not investing in.
The name of the game is investing in yourself.
In this phase of the program,
dating is a skill that helps to develop you.
Okay.
And we see it nothing more than that
because we are fully convinced
that God is writing your love story.
And we believe that none of us have the ability
to write our love story because we don't have the eyes
to see what this person will be 10 years from now,
10 years from now, 15 years from now.
And so that's how it is.
So I get what you're saying,
but it will be, it can serve as a block for you to develop.
Because, and you can date with intentionality
and your intentionality right now is discovery.
Okay.
That's your intentionality right now.
And no, I'm not saying go,
there's gonna be a level of foundational level
to the men you accept dates from.
So I'm not asking that out at all.
Yeah.
It's like, who wants to go out with a man
who has a filthy mouth?
Yeah.
All you do is curse.
I'm not gonna sit and keep company with you.
I wouldn't even be your friend.
Yeah.
I'm not interested in that.
Like, you know, cursing like all the time,
all the time, all of you say something here and there,
but like none, stop back to back.
It's just not how I wanna spend my time.
And so I hear your heart in that matter.
That's what I'm saying to you.
Okay.
Thank you.
You're right.
I'm realizing as you're telling me all this
that I put up this really big boundary
where I'm like, hold up.
And there's nothing wrong with boundaries,
but I really have been like,
maybe a little too guarded when it comes to that.
Yes.
Thank you.
I will take your advice and everything that you said.
I was like, amen.
Jasmine, remember there's a difference
between boundaries and walls.
Okay.
Right.
Boundaries partner with wisdom that guard your heart.
So boundaries say, I'm not gonna be talking about,
and these are the boundaries that Jackie teaches.
We're not gonna be talking about spiritual things.
We're not gonna be talking about emotional bound.
We're not gonna be crossing that.
We're not gonna be crossing physical boundaries.
Those are boundaries that you submit yourself
under the order of.
Yeah.
Walls keep people out.
And Jackie says this best.
She says, many of us will build walls,
but you know what?
Men come to the door and knock like Jesus.
And if you open, they'll come in.
Men are worth and value,
but thieves climb walls and they take the things.
And so when we put up walls,
we attract men who are thieves,
who come and say all the right things
and they climb the wall and they break in.
You know, I'm gonna be honest with you.
Like the gifts that I have
when God has given me the ability to see
like spiritually, like what's on people.
And so there are people that I see,
like that I can meet and I'm attracted to them,
but I can also see like there's lust on them.
Yeah.
And I get very, especially with that particular spirit,
I get very protective of myself
because I went through from my past,
but also spent a lot of time working on myself
to make sure that I got rid of that thing in Jesus name.
So being around, like it's out there obviously,
but opening up to somebody,
like just to hang out and that's on them,
you know, I get, I don't know.
It's been a struggle for me.
I'll just be honest.
It's been a struggle for me to go out
and be open to dating because of my ability to see
like maybe what they're struggling with.
Yeah.
Well, I understand.
And so in that case,
when we have that level of gifting on our life,
what we have to do is ask the father to help us see them
the way he sees them.
Because when he looks at them, he's not looking at lust.
When he looks at them, he's not looking
at all of their shortcomings.
That's not how he sees us.
And so you're gonna have to ask the Lord
to give you the eyes of Christ
when you look at these people,
and that's gonna help you train your gift
and have it to come under the eyes of love.
And that when there is a danger for you,
that gift will operate, right?
And so it's just a balance of the good thing.
Because it is true, some people carry things
and you know they carry it, right?
So a lot of what you've been through does have weight to it.
It has weight to you accepting dates.
It has weight to you talking to men.
Whatever you've come through
and whatever the Lord has to deliver you from,
that has a lot to do with, like you said,
he told you, don't do dating apps.
You wanted something, he told you.
There's a reason he's telling you that.
And so because the Lord is telling you
that you're gonna have to operate in other avenues,
but there's an avenue for you to work on.
And I can't say, some people operate,
there's a fear that I'm not gonna do dating apps, right?
And they assign it to the Lord.
But some of us have a real history.
It could be a history of promiscuity.
It could be a history of something that attaches,
that will be a block for us or hindrance to us.
So I understand.
But you're gonna have to ask the Lord
to help you in the gifting,
to give you his eyes as how he's seeing that person.
Because you are empowered.
Where there is darkness, when the light appears,
you can put all that in his place.
Amen.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Hey, Rebecca.
Wait, Ebony, I think I raised,
are you going in order by any chance?
I thought your hand was just still up
from the first time you were talking.
No, I wanted to get coaching too.
Joanne, I skipped you so many times.
Why you didn't say anything?
Because I wanna be considerate.
I was like, maybe she's doing that on purpose,
strategically.
And then I was like, no, I should speak up.
I should say something.
I was like waiting patiently.
I'm so sorry.
I was like, Joanne, I just thought it was still up.
No, no, I actually had a question I wanted to ask you.
Yes, ask me, Joanne.
Okay.
Wait, let me try to get on video.
So I know we don't have much time.
But yeah, so I had a good time with Jay.
He came and visited.
You saw, thank you for responding.
I think I definitely need to work on a lot of stuff.
Like I tend to manage the connection.
I tend to go fast.
He's like a slow, steady, methodical guy.
And we were planning on for me to visit him in two weeks
and talking about long distance already.
But he told me today as he was, when he landed,
he's like, Joanne, I need some time to pray.
And I've noticed a pattern about him.
It's like, he gets excited when he sees me.
He's like, yes, I want to come see you.
And then he's like stressed about the finances.
And then he'll just retreat like in his cave.
And then he'll be like, I need to pray and seek the Lord.
He does come back and he's like,
okay, I want to do this with you.
And then it was like, oh, great.
We went through another home.
And it was like, when you saw the Airbnb
and the prices were so expensive,
because we only had one week to plan,
which is kind of intense.
So I'm feeling like he has this pattern of like,
oh, any step we go a little further,
he's like, I need to seek the Lord's face, which is great.
You know, he's a godly man who has accountability,
which is awesome.
But it triggers my stuff because I'm like,
you just told me this.
And I've had a lot of men and say,
oh, I want to do this with you.
You're my wife.
That's not healthy.
But I've had a lot of bad experiences
where I think I'm a little sensitive
and I think I share too much about like, what I'd like.
You know my pattern.
I just say like, this is what I'd like.
And I feel like it's giving him a lot of pressure.
I mean, he told me I felt pressure.
I didn't want to disappoint you.
I feel like this weekend was really intense.
Because we talked through a lot of stuff.
Because like, if we're, I mean, we never met.
And then three days, we're spending all this time together.
And we decided to take a break yesterday.
And I had a meltdown.
I was like, whoa, I don't think I could do this.
This is too much for me.
And he was like, whoa, I need to take some time.
Because it was like, we're just like talking,
you know, I'm 46, he's 48.
We both never married.
So he's thinking this, we're both super serious.
You know what I mean?
I mean, we're having fun.
We laugh a whole bunch.
We're just, we do.
And so I think he's a little freaked out.
And I know I have a very intense, strong personality
that's creative and very expressive.
And I think it's, I'm a little too pushy.
And God's already told me you need to slow down
and he needs to speed up.
So I tend to attach really quickly to the anxious style.
So, I mean, I'm definitely gonna give him space
to think and process to make sure
this is what he feels comfortable as well.
But I'm.
Like in the meantime, my main question is like, okay, dude,
like should I date other people?
Cause I know he's not, he's not dating other people,
but I feel like that might help me not be like, so,
you know what I mean?
I feel so like, are we doing this or we're not doing this?
You know?
And, and I don't, I told him, it's not because I'm like,
like, I think I'm so into this and I, I'm so committed.
You're not my boyfriend.
It's just like a logistical, I want to go get the tickets.
Cause if I'm going to come visit you,
and if we wait for three or four more days,
it's going to be more expensive.
And I have to pay for it.
That's really more like, I told her,
I don't care if the prices are the same,
I can book the ticket next week.
So I just don't want him to scare off.
Cause I think I've tended to be like too like pushy
and anxiety, let's move forward.
Like, okay, what's next?
So I don't know.
Do you think I should date other people?
In the meantime?
So are you deciding to move forward with this relationship?
I mean, I do want to move forward.
I told him on me coming out to see you is not like,
Hey, we're, we're, I'm like committed to you.
We already decided we still need to get to know
each other more.
Right.
But I recognize it's confusing because I think I have
too high expectations where I'm already expecting him
to be like boyfriend level.
Yet he's also like saying, let's tone it down.
And I'm like, okay, let's tone it down.
But then he's talking about the future because we have to
about long distance and then immigration.
So he's like finding out, oh my gosh,
it's going to take eight to 12 months.
I better start the immigration.
So it's like hard to navigate this like thing for me,
you know?
Yeah.
But so the problem is you're talking about things
you shouldn't be talking about.
You need, you're trying to use a grace that you don't have.
Yeah, I know.
You don't have grace for a year from now that it takes
for immigration to do something.
You don't have the grace for that.
You have the grace for the present space
of getting to know somebody.
And you have to.
Okay.
But then he talks about it.
Cause he's like, well, if I'm going to marry you,
I got to look into this.
You have to say, I've only been knowing you a month.
We're not talking about marriage.
We're not talking about what you think you hear God say.
We're not talking about immigration.
All we need to make a decision on now,
if we're going to long distance date.
That's it.
When panic takes over, this is fear
because you're operating outside of your well of grace.
You cannot live a year from now
and think you're going to have peace about it.
Okay.
After you get to know a person,
especially when you hit the 90 day mark,
you start seeing them different.
It's too fresh.
It's too new.
You're trying to operate.
Cause how long have you been knowing him?
It's been a month and a half.
It was our first meeting.
It was really intense, like three days, you know?
So there was a lot, but he's long distance.
And so that's why I told you to plan your dates with him
to give yourself breathing time.
I know I failed a bit.
I tried and it failed.
And then yesterday it was forced.
We're like, we need to take a break.
This is way too much.
Way.
I know, Ebony, I'm sorry.
I tried.
I was like, I'm going to do this.
And I fail, I failed.
And I feel terrible about myself a lot of times.
And I'm like.
Well, what happens is you overloaded your system.
Y'all are talking about all this future stuff
because at this point you don't have a choice
because you put things in overdrive.
So when you meet him,
you're not thinking about getting to know him.
You're evaluating him for a spouse.
Yeah, I am.
I mean, we're talking.
You're putting expectations on him.
So he can't just be him.
He has to be a husband.
There's a difference between a man and a spouse.
There's two different people.
There's a difference between Joanne and wife.
I know.
It's just as there's a difference between a mother,
a wife, and that woman as a person.
And so you, and this is good.
I'm so glad you're bringing this
because this is like a real life
where you guys can see what I'm saying to you
about when you're trying to live outside of the grace
that has been extended to you for where you are.
And you started by talking about stuff so early.
You're talking about marriage.
I'm telling you, it literally causes you to panic.
I don't know whoever's been in this.
I've been in it before.
It's overwhelming.
And it feels like you have to make all these decisions.
And you do not
because you're living out of the grace space.
You got to come back to where you are, Joanne.
If you want to go up and visit, it should just be a visit.
It shouldn't be to see if I can live here.
It shouldn't be to see any of that.
No, no, I know what I'm saying.
I know you're not doing it
but any futuristic things you have,
you got to measure back down.
Like, hey, we're just coming to get to know each other.
Better stop talking about marriage.
I don't care if he talks about it.
Tell him you're not going to talk about that anymore
because it's not healthy.
Listen, God can't even talk to y'all.
Because you too busy doing all the talking. Somebody says I have to steal
away, that means they can't even hear the Father. I got to get away from this so I
can hear. Why have you created a relationship where y'all can't hear Jesus?
You're talking too much. You're saying too much. You're planning too much. And so
this escape has to happen when it doesn't have to be that way. And so what
I am saying to you, Joanne, it's time for you to take back the wheel as a woman who
has a coach that's coaching your community, that's helping you and say
this is a no future zone. This is a no talking about marriage zone. This is a no
whatever y'all are talking about. Stop and let's just be. I know that's what will
help me be because I think that we'll talk about oh and then this and then I
get my expectations high, you know, and it doesn't do any good. It's no good
fruit for me or him. I know. We're intentional, you know. Yeah, so
intentionality is not just because we talk about marriage. Intentionality means
you're intentional about ordering your life. It means that you operate in wisdom.
That's intentionality. Intentionality says I'm gonna talk to you at
eight o'clock and at 30 we're gonna stop talking. I am intentional about my time.
Intentionality is not just in dating about do we want to be together or don't
we want to be together. It's am I willing to invest to get to know you and that's
what you should be intentional about right now. That's what he should be
intentional about right now and if he doesn't know how to set this boundary
and you ladies we are well over time it's 8 57 you free please don't ever
feel that you have to stay. We're usually done at 8 30. You got to set the
boundaries and you got to say this is what it's gonna be if we're gonna move
forward so when you talk back to him don't ask about these tickets no more
let it ride. Just let it ride. Actually wanting to go see him so quickly behind
when he just saw you it creates even more momentum. Let it ride. Take a two
week three week break. Everybody take a break. Everybody breathe. It will serve
you best. If you don't slow this thing down it will cost you what you don't
want to pay and it's not worth it. But I think if he is if he's great as you say
is he is worth getting to know. He is worth seeing as a person and not as a
future husband and you are worth it Joanne. You are 48 and he 40 some they
did what y'all ain't got time for these shenanigans y'all doing. Don't don't get
caught up in it. It's a it's a robber of your time. It's taking from you. You think
you're adding and you're getting the momentum. You're not. You're being robbed
of your peace. Did somebody got to say I need some time to lower I'm overwhelmed
and y'all knocking at the door 50. If you want to be intentional and you don't have time
don't give your time to things that don't pay. Don't give a reward. Okay so do
you think I should still date other guys? I think you can date other people if you
want to Joanne but you know if you want to invest and see where this could go
with him invest and see where it could go with him. You've done seven dates. You've
done well over seven dates. So you're not trying to get to some seven date mark.
Why is it we should figure out if they're our husband. We don't want to talk about marriage too soon because we don't like the unknown control.
All of those things Audrey. All of those things and you're walking by faith. You
want to know who your spouse is just to add to that because it goes in what
you're saying. Your faith in this thing God with the Lord. You're excited. I am. He's great.
So this is the thing. So Joanne you know it's nothing wrong with you stopping
and saying let me invest in this and see what this is. That don't mean you
exclusive. You shouldn't be exclusive. You definitely need to wait for 90
days before you go exclusive. 90? Yes 90. You need to do all 30, 60, 90. Yes Joanne.
Okay. All right. I'm halfway. Are y'all exclusive? No we're not. We're going to decide when I go visit
and then we can find out whatever. We're not exclusive. But I feel like we're acting like
that. So it's like confusing for me. It's like I know it's confusing because you are acting like
that because anytime you talk about marriage and immigration and what it's going to take.
Yeah you acting like you exclusive.
if you act like you're headed to the altar.
I know, that's why it's confusing.
And then he wants to slow it down.
So I'm like, so confused.
Like what?
Diane is so funny, y'all, so funny.
Okay, so let's just stop this foolishness.
Let's stop this foolishness.
Act like you're somebody who been in this program
for a while.
You know the boundaries, set them, grab that code.
When you talk back to him, say, I am gonna pace.
This is what I'm gonna be doing
so that you can understand where I am.
And I can't require it of you,
but this is what I'm requiring of myself
because I think that you're worth getting to know.
And we are knocking on the door 50
and both of us want a kingdom marriage.
And the way we get there is taking these steps.
And don't go back and forth because you did this
and you done, no, no, no, just don't do that.
I'm telling you, it leads you
into all these bigger conversations.
Well, I said that because this,
and then I said, and I feel like this.
I know, and it's draining.
It drains, especially a man, it's so draining.
I know, and all this, I feel like the Lord is.
I don't feel like the Lord, no, feel like wisdom.
Feel like wisdom.
None of the things of God are without wisdom.
They're not void of wisdom.
You are not operating wisdom.
God operating wisdom.
Okay. Yeah.
Yes, thank you so much.
I'm so glad I interrupted
because I almost was like, all right,
I guess I'm not gonna ask a question.
I'm sorry, Joey, I done skipped you so many times.
Okay, go ahead, Rebecca.
And then we're gonna wrap it up with Rebecca.
See, Joey, your hand is still up.
Rebecca.
Oh, so mine's actually not about dating,
but I thought I might give it a try.
So no, it's just, I actually wanted to get,
come on and ask for prayer.
Yeah.
What do you want prayer about?
It's been a hard year.
Yeah.
I've literally earned no money this last year
for 13 months.
And it's just, you know, I have a lot of dreams and desires.
Yeah.
And,
betrayed by like one of my subcontractors.
Yeah.
Someone couldn't believe that,
you know, I haven't had a boyfriend for 19 years
and they weren't being nice.
It might've been like a mocking spirit.
So I just got on here for encouragement.
Yeah.
Is there some more you wanna share?
I don't want you to cut it out.
I want you to share your heart
so that when we pray, we'll take care of all of this.
So do you do like real estate or flip houses?
What happened with a contractor?
Was it your house that they were doing work on?
Oh, no.
So I do, I'm self-employed.
I'm a medical device reimbursement consultant.
So I like, yeah.
So a lot of it's just been a hard time
not believing in myself,
but I'm also kind of made to be social
and I had to do a lot of stuff my own
and it just, you know, old stuff, overwhelmed.
So the momentum was lost.
Yeah.
Deciding which people to,
which leads to actually follow up on and stuff,
not getting to all of them.
And no, and then in just my,
so what I'm doing is I'm kind of refocusing.
I'm getting a certificate
cause my subcontractor was how like I was able
to do a little more breadth of stuff.
So I have a plan to get that certificate,
but I guess it's just mostly it's,
I know in my own strength, I can't do it, obviously.
But.
Yeah.
And so if you could pick in,
Susan, are you still on the line?
Okay.
Susan is, and the reason why I'm asking for her,
I'm going to start us off in prayer
and then I'm going to ask the community.
Many of us are, we have words of encouragement of you.
hear the father saying something,
would you please post those words in the chat?
And I will snap those words for you, Rebecca,
and then send them to you in an email.
But if you ladies will go ahead
and put any words of encouragement,
I see them coming in.
Any, if you flow and prophetic,
or if you feel like you hear the father's heart
for her saying something, please don't shy away.
Let's put it in the chat.
Susan is a very successful sales individual,
if I could use the right words.
And I want her to release her grace over your life.
She's been very successful in that field.
Even though you're switching,
I want her to release the graces on her life.
God has put a grace on her life to make millions,
and I want her to release that over you.
And so I'm gonna start us off in praying for you.
Susan will follow up and release grace over you,
how the Lord leads her.
We're gonna be loading the chat with words for you,
what we feel like we hear the Lord saying.
I'm gonna give those words to you in an email,
so you don't have to try to rush over to write them down.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Yeah, and so I'm gonna pick a starting place
to start praying for you right now,
what we're gonna be praying about.
So if there was one thing that you wanted me
in this community come in agreement with you on,
what is the one thing you would like from the Lord?
What do you want from the Lord?
Some of it is stuff that I know that I need to do,
but I do get sidetracked with the whole
like preparing for marriage and stuff.
So in some of it's just like,
when you've seen so much of the opposition,
you're wondering, okay, obviously God can do anything.
He can make a different pathway or not.
But I mean, sometimes I do think I'm trying it too much
on my own and that's a little bit just from wounds.
Yeah, okay.
So what I heard you say is you've been trying
to do things on your own.
There's been a lot of opposition that causes you
to kind of take your hands up and try to do it on your own.
So maybe operating out of sense of fear,
but there has been some, this is a lapse in time, right?
So it feels like the Lord isn't coming through.
There's a real thing.
Cause you said it's been a year since you've made any money.
So you've been-
Well, I've made some money,
but my 2025 taxes will be actually be negative.
So it's a lot of scarcity.
Yeah.
Financial scarcity, okay.
So, okay.
So I'm gonna ask you this question again.
What do you want the Lord to do for you?
Just encouragement.
Cause it seems like, it's like I don't trust him
cause it's been so long.
Right.
What else?
I hear something else hiding out in there
that I needed to come forth, right?
So I wanna be very targeted.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know that he's gonna come through.
Yeah.
For me specifically.
You need to know that you need a reassurance.
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah.
Cause it's like, I had a dream two nights ago
that like everything was okay
with the person who betrayed me.
And like, I actually felt the peace.
And so it's like that feeling,
like I know some things about, I guess my future,
but it's like feeling that,
feeling in a dream was very special.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Is that everything?
Now I'm telling you-
Yeah, I think that's the short term.
When I pray and these women agree with me,
the Bible says that where the two come and agree on a thing
that that thing will be established in the earth.
So I don't send up prayers that don't get answers.
This train is about to leave the station.
And the next thing you know,
that manifestations are gonna be knocking at your door.
So if there's anything else you wanna put in this train
before I leave the station,
you better drop it on in now
cause we about to choo-choo.
Do it, take out.
All right.
Yeah, and I'd like more success with dating.
Okay.
I've done one date this last year,
so I'd like to get to the seven.
All right, I'd like to get to the seven.
So Father God, we just thank you for Rebecca.
We thank you for her vulnerability.
You said in the book of Psalms
that you are close to the brokenhearted,
that you actually draw closer to us
when our heart is broken,
because it's so interesting when our heart is broken,
we feel so far away from you.
But you said a contrite and broken spirit,
you will not deny.
And so I thank you on tonight
that as we come before your throne,
that you will not deny Rebecca,
that you are waiting to receive her
and to receive us as we stand in agreement
with all of heaven about the book of destiny
that is in heaven about her life.
And so Father God, I declare on tonight
that thy kingdom will come
and that your will will be done in her life.
And everything that has come to block her,
everything that has come to stop her
by the power and the blood of Jesus Christ,
I command it to stop right now in the name of Jesus.
I scatter every confusing spirit.
I scatter every spirit that has come
to oppose her destiny in you.
And I say, let your will be done in her life right now.
Father God, I thank you that David said,
I have never seen the righteous forsaken
nor his seed begging bread.
I declare that your daughter will not be begging for bread
because she is your seed.
I declare that you are a God of extravagance,
that you are a God of prospering.
You prosper your people.
And I declare Lord God that your promises
are being made manifest in her life this very moment.
I thank you Lord God that when we come together,
you said that one slays a thousand,
but two slays tens of thousands.
Look how many women are on this line tonight.
We're gonna slay more than tens of thousands, oh God.
And so I thank you right now
that this thing is being made manifest in her life.
I thank you that when the saints get together,
when the believers come together to pray, you answer us.
And so Father, I thank you for Rebecca.
I thank you Lord God that you are invested in her life.
I thank you Lord God, though this year and this season
has been hard, that there are greater days before her.
I thank you Lord God that her ladder
shall be greater than her past.
I thank you Lord God that you're bringing her
into the greater glory, oh God.
I thank you Lord God that she will see
that she has not been forsaken.
This was not for not, but it's because
that you were working the greatest good in her life.
And I thank you for God, I believe it.
Even if she can't see it right now,
I believe it for her, oh God.
And so we thank you.
Go ahead, Susan.
We're gonna let Susan pray now.
Lord, thank you so much for this community.
Thank you for Rebecca.
And Lord, just thank you
for her vulnerability to share tonight.
And Lord, we just thank you
that your word does not return void.
And that as of tonight, her situation is shifting.
And we just thank you that you are her shepherd
and she shall not want.
You are a God of abundance.
You don't just meet our needs, you meet our wants.
You are extravagant.
And we just thank you that you're not a respecter of persons
what you did for Rebecca,
what you did for me, you will do for Rebecca.
And I just released the power to get wealth over her.
I released the grace of financial prosperity over her.
Yes.
I thank you for the gift of tithing
and that wealth is in tithing.
And I thank you that you are giving her favor
with people, that it's not just about her and her knowledge,
but it's about you putting the right people in the place
that she can utilize their expertise
and their knowledge.
And yes, Lord, I just thank you
that you're restoring everything,
that the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the righteous,
that there is a divine wealth transfer going on.
And I thank you that she has favor with clients,
favor with people everywhere she goes,
that people wanna do business with her.
And I thank you, I declare 120% restoration.
I believe it's in Leviticus.
And I just declare that over Rebecca.
And we just thank you, Lord,
that you love her like crazy
and that you're working all things together for good.
Jesus name.
I thank you, Father God, that you have a spouse for her.
I thank you, Lord God,
that you're bringing her into the positioning
that she needs to be for the husband that you have for her.
I thank you, Lord, that she's not forsaken.
The Bible says, Jesus wrote in Luke and in Matthew,
he said, if a child asks his father for bread,
would he give him a stone?
If he asked him for fish, would he give him a snake?
He said, now you being evil of heart
know how to give good gifts to your children.
What more my father in heaven know how to give to you?
So I thank you, Lord God,
that as we.
come before you on tonight you're not giving us a stone you're not giving us a snake but you're
giving her provision that you're giving her wholeness i thank you lord god that this is the
year starting this month of march that she shall prosper even as her soul prospers i declare over
her life that this is a month of bursting forth oh god i bring her into the flow of the spirit
that your calendar lord god your timetable that says that this is a month of acceleration i
declare that everybody that looks upon her will say see what the lord has done for rebecca oh
look how he has blessed her she should be like the children of israel in the book of psalms when they
say when we came out of captivity we were like a people who had been set free you said in the
book of psalms that we would be like those who sow in tears they will come back bringing
baskets full of sheaves and joy and it will be laughter in their voices and they will be laughing
over all the things that you've done for them i declare that that is rebecca oh god i thank you
lord god that the time is here that she's not next she is now she is not tomorrow she is today i thank
you for sweet sleep i think that she gets to rest in the arm of her father and i declare that her
season and her time of change has come and we all agree and say amen amen amen thank you guys for
hanging in there i want to read this prophetic word that um i've copied and pasted them and
they're loading it in um the first one that i see here is from jasmine but those who wait on
the lord shall renew their strength they shall mount up with wings like eagles they shall run
and not be weary they shall walk and not faint i've been clearing over you rebecca right now
but because rebecca has waited on the lord rebecca's strength shall be renewed rebecca
shall mount up with wings like eagles rebecca shall run and not be weary rebecca shall walk and not
faint and jasmine said god is saying do not be afraid for i the lord your god will provide for
you trust in the lord with all your heart lean not into your own understanding in all of your ways
acknowledge him and he will direct your path submit to me in all your ways and i will make
your path straight let go of fear anxiety and doubt but that is not your burden oh god we release
rebecca from the burden of fear anxiety and doubt we just take our hands as a prophetic act
and we dust it off her right now in the name of jesus and we declare that is not yours to carry
but jesus said cast all of your cares upon me because i care for you and we just release that
over you and she says we release it to really uh we release it so we can replace it with the
refilling of the fruits of the spirit you are almost there do not focus on what you see in
the natural state focus on the lord almighty for i will not let you be without you are stronger than
you know all right isaiah 40 29 and 31 he gives strength to the weary the lord gives strength to
rebecca and strengthens the powerless he strengthens he strengthens you rebecca youth may faint and
grow weary young men may stumble and fall but those who trust in the lord will renew their strength
they were sore on the wings like eagles they were running not go weary they were walking not faint
all right um and eloise jumped in on this train and she received those same prayers for financial
breakthrough job and health returning we declare that over you as well rebecca and over eloise we
stand in agreement with you she had a car wreck in february and um she's believing for a new car
that the lord has chosen for her um in a month of acceleration yes oh she has a new to me car
we're releasing that testimony over you rebecca she has a new to me car we release that's the
prospering the hand of god that's the testimony the bible says that we all come we are overcome
by the blood of the lamb and by the word of our testimonies and we did not love our lives unto
death and so we just declare that kingdom come that will be done on earth as it is in heaven
so i'm gonna get all of this to you um
susan gave another testimony and i know it's late but it's something when we read out what god has
done in the ears of those that can hear she says when i started in business i felt insecure incapable
and incompetent but god would do it take it one day at a time and know you're a favorite you are
god's girl do not give up you have a business partner and his name is god doesn't get any
better than that all right and so ladies you have been amazing and outstanding thank you for
i'm trying to copy and paste this before i uh once i leave out the chat i don't know how to
get back to it um uh you've been amazing for hanging in praying in agreement with us rebecca
i pray that your cup was full and i encourage you to be in great expectation um and i wanna
i want the praise report
and I want the testimony and I will continue making intercession on your behalf taking you
before the father because he is going to do it there is a power in the agreement of believers
you get you some believers you can get some stuff done everything originates in the spirit realm
and now that we've gotten the devil off your back because he was riding it show riding it honey
um you're gonna prosper and do well
i feel lighter yeah praise jesus there's the sign that the prisons already start working
you need to feel lighter so praise jesus all right ladies i have posted the activation i
told you about i'm gonna post it on the page rebecca please keep us updated on all the
things that god is doing in your life so that we can taste and see that god is good
it yeah okay good night ladies thanks ebony thanks everybody welcome good night car is
coming that news is coming breakthroughs breakthroughs breakthroughs breakthroughs
right yes good news upon good news upon good news yes
hello
y'all are amazing thanks ebony you're welcome you're welcome good night
you knocked it out of the park huh you knocked it out of the park oh well good i'm so thankful that
the lord was in our midst and eloise i'm excited for god is doing in your life i wish i had us
out there early i would have definitely included you in all the decorations but we just declared
a breakthrough over your life god is faithful and he is just there is no god like our god in all
the earth this description the book of something that says who is like our god among the gods who
is like him none and nobody he says that when the righteous cry out to him he will turn and come and
see about them and i believe that the lord is seeing about you on tonight and he is going to
do just what he said he's gonna do he's not a man that he should allow that he would have to repent
the bible says that he honored his word above his own name and so he's intent on doing that
yes yeah thank you thank you you're welcome all right good night ladies everybody all right
bye bye sweet dreams thank you