WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.800 I'd propose. 2 00:00:03.700 --> 00:00:05.800 Hey, ladies, how are y'all tonight? 3 00:00:10.100 --> 00:00:10.600 Great. 4 00:00:12.200 --> 00:00:12.600 Hello. 5 00:00:12.600 --> 00:00:12.900 Hello. 6 00:00:12.900 --> 00:00:13.300 Hello. 7 00:00:13.300 --> 00:00:13.800 Hello. 8 00:00:14.200 --> 00:00:19.200 Hey Lauren and Abby and Kirsten and Audrey and Karen and Eloise 9 00:00:19.600 --> 00:00:21.200 and Theda, Karen. 10 00:00:21.200 --> 00:00:22.900 It's so good to see y'all tonight. 11 00:00:23.500 --> 00:00:24.600 Good to see you Ebony. 12 00:00:25.200 --> 00:00:26.400 Well, thank you. 13 00:00:26.400 --> 00:00:26.900 Thank you. 14 00:00:26.900 --> 00:00:27.600 Thank you. 15 00:00:28.600 --> 00:00:31.200 I don't know why, but I feel like my camera feels 16 00:00:31.200 --> 00:00:33.800 lopsided for some reason or another. 17 00:00:33.800 --> 00:00:34.700 It looks so flicked. 18 00:00:34.700 --> 00:00:36.300 It's like leaning. 19 00:00:36.500 --> 00:00:40.200 But anyway, I hope you ladies have been having a very good 20 00:00:40.200 --> 00:00:40.700 day. 21 00:00:43.400 --> 00:00:45.200 It's hey, hey. 22 00:00:46.900 --> 00:00:49.800 I don't see anybody that's new. 23 00:00:51.100 --> 00:00:54.200 Anybody knew that you are new and I don't see that or know 24 00:00:54.200 --> 00:00:54.800 that you're new. 25 00:00:54.800 --> 00:00:58.100 Is this your first time joining us on a call tonight? 26 00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:01.700 No, good. 27 00:01:01.700 --> 00:01:02.900 It's just a few of us. 28 00:01:03.400 --> 00:01:04.300 So nine. 29 00:01:04.500 --> 00:01:06.300 I think is everyone on vacation? 30 00:01:07.800 --> 00:01:08.800 Spring break, baby. 31 00:01:09.600 --> 00:01:13.100 I know it's spring break for me too, but I signed up to work 32 00:01:13.100 --> 00:01:15.000 two days for 33 00:01:16.700 --> 00:01:18.500 Spring Break Star Camp. 34 00:01:19.100 --> 00:01:23.400 And so that's just one more day, but I'm a little 35 00:01:24.300 --> 00:01:28.000 sometimes I think to myself I had I felt energy at the time. 36 00:01:31.300 --> 00:01:35.200 We are the way you ladies have been posting just give an 37 00:01:35.200 --> 00:01:38.900 update has been helpful in us finding your posts. 38 00:01:39.300 --> 00:01:41.500 Thank you for saying like, hey, I posted something. 39 00:01:41.500 --> 00:01:42.500 Do you see it? 40 00:01:42.600 --> 00:01:47.600 Then that gives us the we can go and start looking through 41 00:01:47.600 --> 00:01:49.600 things to find a post. 42 00:01:49.600 --> 00:01:51.500 We can search by your name. 43 00:01:51.500 --> 00:01:53.500 We have that option available to us. 44 00:01:53.800 --> 00:01:57.000 And so I know a lot of ladies have been saying they're not 45 00:01:57.000 --> 00:01:59.000 able to access the replay calls. 46 00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:00.500 We're so sorry about that. 47 00:02:00.800 --> 00:02:02.900 But we can do is send a helpdesk. 48 00:02:03.400 --> 00:02:04.900 Oh Abby, you're new. 49 00:02:04.900 --> 00:02:05.600 Well, welcome. 50 00:02:05.600 --> 00:02:08.100 I thought you were new but I was like, oh, maybe not. 51 00:02:08.100 --> 00:02:12.700 She didn't say anything you can send a ticket and let them 52 00:02:12.700 --> 00:02:16.200 know that this is happening or you send an email to admin 53 00:02:16.200 --> 00:02:17.700 and let them know that that's happening. 54 00:02:18.700 --> 00:02:23.600 So be sure to continue posting posting posting. 55 00:02:23.600 --> 00:02:24.500 It helps a lot. 56 00:02:24.500 --> 00:02:28.800 It keeps us up to date and we're able to help you and also 57 00:02:28.800 --> 00:02:31.300 I just want to say like sometimes in the moment you like 58 00:02:31.300 --> 00:02:35.200 I need help like right now and right now doesn't happen 59 00:02:35.200 --> 00:02:37.900 right now may happen 10 hours later 12 hours later. 60 00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:41.800 Just use that time to practice waiting. 61 00:02:42.200 --> 00:02:44.700 There's probably nothing you have to say in the moment, 62 00:02:44.700 --> 00:02:47.200 but you know how we want to say something. 63 00:02:47.900 --> 00:02:49.700 You get anxious to say something. 64 00:02:49.700 --> 00:02:51.800 Try try just holding out. 65 00:02:52.300 --> 00:02:55.200 Just just try holding out for a little while until you 66 00:02:55.200 --> 00:02:58.400 can get a response that you will be most pleased with. 67 00:03:03.300 --> 00:03:07.600 We encourage you ladies to stay in phase 2, 3 to 4 months 68 00:03:07.600 --> 00:03:09.900 and then you can transition to phase 3. 69 00:03:10.800 --> 00:03:13.000 It's Abby since it's your first time. 70 00:03:13.600 --> 00:03:17.100 I'm assuming you did hard work and now you're in phase 2. 71 00:03:17.800 --> 00:03:20.400 And so I just want to kind of go through that because 72 00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:22.800 sometimes we struggle with it. 73 00:03:22.900 --> 00:03:25.300 So in phase, they're three. 74 00:03:25.500 --> 00:03:29.700 They call it three phases to the program hard work love 75 00:03:29.700 --> 00:03:32.800 story accelerator is where you are now and then last year 76 00:03:32.800 --> 00:03:35.000 single would be called phase 3. 77 00:03:35.100 --> 00:03:37.800 This will be called phase 2 in dating. 78 00:03:37.800 --> 00:03:39.500 There are dating levels. 79 00:03:39.800 --> 00:03:43.400 And then when you first start listening to the when you 80 00:03:43.400 --> 00:03:47.700 first start with the curriculum for this phase is going 81 00:03:47.700 --> 00:03:50.500 to talk about dating levels, which is totally different 82 00:03:50.500 --> 00:03:56.200 from hard work phase 2, which is love love story greater 83 00:03:56.200 --> 00:04:00.600 and then last year single dating comes in level 1 level 2 84 00:04:00.600 --> 00:04:05.100 level 3 level 1 is when you first meet a person you first 85 00:04:05.100 --> 00:04:08.900 talk to them you first exchange in you reach out you meet 86 00:04:08.900 --> 00:04:14.400 them whether in a dating app or online or face-to-face level 87 00:04:14.400 --> 00:04:17.000 to dating is when you initially start getting to know each 88 00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:21.300 other you go out to lunch or to dinner to coffee you whatever 89 00:04:21.300 --> 00:04:23.000 you start talking on the phone. 90 00:04:23.200 --> 00:04:28.200 That's level 2 a level 3 dating relationship comes at 60 91 00:04:28.200 --> 00:04:32.000 to 90 days Jackie encourages if you could hold out for 92 00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:38.800 exclusivity the the highest day is 90 which she calls about 93 00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:42.700 the perfect timing but if you cannot wait 90 days before 94 00:04:42.700 --> 00:04:46.500 you go exclusive at least give it 60 days before going 95 00:04:46.500 --> 00:04:50.800 exclusive and we encourage that the man leads the conversation 96 00:04:50.800 --> 00:04:51.900 in exclusivity. 97 00:04:54.400 --> 00:04:57.100 So this level 1 level 2 wants you to tell someone that 98 00:04:57.100 --> 00:04:59.800 you're going exclusive with them going exclusive with a 99 00:04:59.800 --> 00:05:00.100 person. 100 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:03.800 person does not mean, Hey, yeah, once I started talking to you, 101 00:05:04.000 --> 00:05:08.480 I came out the app and you say, oh, and then in your mind, 102 00:05:08.680 --> 00:05:12.320 you say I should come out the app too because we're together. 103 00:05:12.520 --> 00:05:15.320 He never know. 104 00:05:15.520 --> 00:05:19.320 That's not someone saying I want to be in a relationship with you. 105 00:05:19.520 --> 00:05:22.400 They can make their choice, but that doesn't have to be your choice. 106 00:05:22.600 --> 00:05:24.480 They need to exclusively, I mean, 107 00:05:24.680 --> 00:05:29.560 explicitly ask you to be in a dating relationship with them. 108 00:05:29.720 --> 00:05:33.560 That's the best way to do that, because that way serves you best. 109 00:05:33.760 --> 00:05:39.080 There's a question asked of you and you give an agreement or disagreement 110 00:05:39.280 --> 00:05:42.000 in dating. Most of the people that you're dating, 111 00:05:42.200 --> 00:05:44.680 they're not being coached, you are being coached. 112 00:05:44.880 --> 00:05:49.280 Most people aren't coached on how to have a healthy dating relationship. 113 00:05:49.480 --> 00:05:51.640 We are the age we are and we're just not 114 00:05:51.840 --> 00:05:54.760 learning how to develop healthy relationships. 115 00:05:54.960 --> 00:05:57.880 And so when you start talking to someone 116 00:05:57.880 --> 00:06:00.680 and they do something and you do it because they do it, 117 00:06:00.880 --> 00:06:03.920 that won't serve you best. 118 00:06:04.120 --> 00:06:07.720 Because they're just doing things the way they've always done things. 119 00:06:07.920 --> 00:06:09.960 Also, I encourage you not to be offended 120 00:06:09.960 --> 00:06:12.640 by a person who's doing something the way they do something. 121 00:06:12.840 --> 00:06:16.840 A question that a man would generally almost always ask is, 122 00:06:17.040 --> 00:06:18.920 so what are you looking for? 123 00:06:19.120 --> 00:06:22.160 Why are somebody so pretty like you not married yet? 124 00:06:22.360 --> 00:06:24.040 They are not with you. 125 00:06:24.240 --> 00:06:26.080 They're not attempting to offend you. 126 00:06:26.320 --> 00:06:29.280 This is a common question that men ask. 127 00:06:29.480 --> 00:06:32.000 It is common for men to divulge all 128 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:34.520 of their information the first time they talk to you. 129 00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:38.440 It is very common for you to sit on a date with them and they get diarrhea 130 00:06:38.640 --> 00:06:43.200 of the mouth and they are not attempting to offend you. 131 00:06:43.400 --> 00:06:48.920 They're just being a person who has not been taught how to date well. 132 00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:50.160 That's all it is. 133 00:06:50.360 --> 00:06:54.800 So you don't follow suit, you just redirect. 134 00:06:55.000 --> 00:07:01.120 And you just you work within what you know best serves a healthy pace, 135 00:07:01.320 --> 00:07:04.600 getting to know type of relationship. 136 00:07:04.680 --> 00:07:05.760 And that's just how it works. 137 00:07:05.760 --> 00:07:07.160 When I say relationship, it doesn't mean 138 00:07:07.360 --> 00:07:10.560 that you're exclusively just like getting to know another person. 139 00:07:10.760 --> 00:07:12.800 And so I just want to say that just 140 00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:16.240 because one person does it doesn't mean they do it from wisdom. 141 00:07:16.440 --> 00:07:20.200 They just do it because it's what they've always done. 142 00:07:20.400 --> 00:07:23.920 Don't forget that we noticed there was a weird place to throw in four 143 00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:27.040 announcements, but that's the place I remembered it. 144 00:07:27.240 --> 00:07:29.160 Don't forget, we do offer one on one 145 00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:33.520 coaching and there's a plethora of great coaches that you can choose from. 146 00:07:33.720 --> 00:07:37.160 But we always want to help you work through those things 147 00:07:37.360 --> 00:07:40.720 that are more deeply rooted, that you can't get done 148 00:07:40.920 --> 00:07:46.040 over a live, over a group session or over a post. 149 00:07:46.240 --> 00:07:49.400 Shantelle, is this your first time with us? 150 00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:51.000 No. 151 00:07:51.480 --> 00:07:54.840 Uh, last week you said hi. 152 00:07:55.040 --> 00:07:56.240 Like, 153 00:07:56.880 --> 00:08:03.480 but yeah, it's a hey, yeah, almost a month. 154 00:08:03.680 --> 00:08:05.560 Oh, this is exciting. 155 00:08:05.760 --> 00:08:06.800 This is exciting. 156 00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:08.240 OK, my camera is usually off. 157 00:08:08.440 --> 00:08:10.160 So, yeah, I don't see. 158 00:08:10.200 --> 00:08:11.160 OK, all right. 159 00:08:11.160 --> 00:08:13.400 All right. Because I was looking, I was like, well, she's so pretty. 160 00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:15.040 Is she new? 161 00:08:15.240 --> 00:08:16.520 Oh, thank you. 162 00:08:16.720 --> 00:08:18.200 You're welcome. You're welcome. 163 00:08:18.400 --> 00:08:20.040 All right. So let's get started. 164 00:08:20.080 --> 00:08:23.840 And tonight we're going to be talking about the Divine Feminine. 165 00:08:24.040 --> 00:08:28.800 Um, what do you ladies think about when you hear the word Divine Feminine? 166 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:31.240 I want to just add it to the chat. 167 00:08:31.440 --> 00:08:34.240 This subject is one that kind of gets us 168 00:08:34.440 --> 00:08:38.799 confused or worked up or what does it really mean? 169 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:41.840 What do you think Divine Feminine means when you hear it? 170 00:08:42.039 --> 00:08:45.280 Now, if you watch the teaching, you've had some thoughts about it, 171 00:08:45.480 --> 00:08:48.600 even some things you may not understand about Divine Feminine. 172 00:08:48.800 --> 00:08:51.040 Still learning. 173 00:08:52.720 --> 00:08:55.720 So expensive beauty. 174 00:08:55.920 --> 00:08:59.320 Oh, I like the mature. 175 00:08:59.520 --> 00:09:01.520 Yeah, mature. 176 00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:05.120 If we don't operate much in our Divine 177 00:09:05.320 --> 00:09:09.840 Feminine is Divine Feminine becoming mature in femininity or being mature as 178 00:09:10.040 --> 00:09:16.640 an individual, can we be a mature, healthy overall woman and not be matured 179 00:09:16.680 --> 00:09:20.160 in our femininity? Yeah, I like that answer. 180 00:09:20.360 --> 00:09:23.800 Both sounds new age, but I'm learning. 181 00:09:25.640 --> 00:09:30.560 Well, we know that the word Divine means innate, a natural thing is within you. 182 00:09:30.760 --> 00:09:32.520 It is divine within you. 183 00:09:32.720 --> 00:09:35.200 All right. Knowing who we are and femininity is 184 00:09:35.400 --> 00:09:39.960 the order of woman, just as masculine is the order of man. 185 00:09:40.160 --> 00:09:44.240 That's how man, female and woman were designed. 186 00:09:44.240 --> 00:09:48.720 And we were born with femininity. 187 00:09:48.920 --> 00:09:55.040 It's divine, it's within us, our culture, our home life, our circumstances 188 00:09:55.240 --> 00:10:00.000 will come to squeeze that out of us, squeeze our femininity. 189 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:02.200 has a hand in shaping who we are. 190 00:10:02.200 --> 00:10:03.320 So what does that mean? 191 00:10:03.320 --> 00:10:08.320 Me, born to a family of lots of controlling women. 192 00:10:09.760 --> 00:10:11.180 They are strong women. 193 00:10:12.200 --> 00:10:14.580 For me, where I'm from culturally, 194 00:10:15.600 --> 00:10:17.480 for me, Black women can, 195 00:10:17.480 --> 00:10:21.000 Black women of the Black communities 196 00:10:21.000 --> 00:10:26.000 more matriarchally-led versus patriarchally-led. 197 00:10:26.480 --> 00:10:28.240 And so therefore you produce, 198 00:10:28.280 --> 00:10:30.560 if women are leading most of the time, 199 00:10:30.560 --> 00:10:32.200 then what happens? 200 00:10:32.200 --> 00:10:33.920 They have to do it all. 201 00:10:33.920 --> 00:10:34.960 They have to work. 202 00:10:34.960 --> 00:10:36.120 They have to be the doctor. 203 00:10:36.120 --> 00:10:38.100 They have to be the nurse to the children. 204 00:10:38.100 --> 00:10:39.920 They have to come home and solve problems. 205 00:10:39.920 --> 00:10:40.960 They have to do it all. 206 00:10:40.960 --> 00:10:42.040 If you have to do it all, 207 00:10:42.040 --> 00:10:44.240 that means you're carrying a load 208 00:10:44.240 --> 00:10:47.000 and you're gonna have to toughen up your back 209 00:10:47.000 --> 00:10:49.960 to carry it all because it is a heavy load. 210 00:10:49.960 --> 00:10:51.480 Does it make you wrong? 211 00:10:51.480 --> 00:10:52.320 No. 212 00:10:53.480 --> 00:10:54.320 But what it does, 213 00:10:54.320 --> 00:10:56.400 it doesn't allow you to be in touch 214 00:10:56.400 --> 00:10:58.160 with your feminine order. 215 00:10:59.080 --> 00:11:00.440 If you're here, 216 00:11:00.440 --> 00:11:01.520 that means you're single, 217 00:11:01.520 --> 00:11:03.120 you're not married. 218 00:11:03.120 --> 00:11:05.560 And that means most of us, 219 00:11:05.560 --> 00:11:07.760 we pay all our own bills. 220 00:11:07.760 --> 00:11:09.400 If you don't hire somebody to mow your lawn, 221 00:11:09.400 --> 00:11:11.120 you mow your own lawn. 222 00:11:11.120 --> 00:11:13.160 You go out and you take care of everything you own 223 00:11:13.160 --> 00:11:14.940 and something gets broken in your house, 224 00:11:14.940 --> 00:11:16.860 you're the one that takes care of it. 225 00:11:16.860 --> 00:11:18.680 So that means you're operating 226 00:11:18.680 --> 00:11:22.480 in a duality of orders or roles. 227 00:11:22.480 --> 00:11:24.280 And so then when your husband comes along 228 00:11:24.280 --> 00:11:26.780 and when you start dating and meeting men, 229 00:11:26.780 --> 00:11:28.460 you have to now get back in touch 230 00:11:28.460 --> 00:11:30.620 with the feminine side of you, 231 00:11:30.620 --> 00:11:32.260 with the side that allows someone 232 00:11:32.260 --> 00:11:33.740 to open the door for you 233 00:11:33.740 --> 00:11:36.460 or with the side of you that is a bit softer, 234 00:11:36.460 --> 00:11:37.940 that is not demanding, 235 00:11:37.940 --> 00:11:39.380 that is not challenging, 236 00:11:39.380 --> 00:11:42.360 the side of you that's not having to fight for her way. 237 00:11:43.640 --> 00:11:44.740 So you may have to feel, 238 00:11:44.740 --> 00:11:45.580 don't nobody else do it, 239 00:11:45.580 --> 00:11:46.540 I have to do it. 240 00:11:46.540 --> 00:11:47.460 That's a real thing. 241 00:11:47.460 --> 00:11:50.220 Who's gonna come and do it if you don't do it? 242 00:11:50.220 --> 00:11:51.980 If you're raising your children by yourself, 243 00:11:51.980 --> 00:11:54.420 who's gonna do it if you don't do it? 244 00:11:54.420 --> 00:11:56.780 And so that means when we switch over in dating, 245 00:11:56.780 --> 00:11:58.780 when we switch over to a spouse, 246 00:11:58.780 --> 00:12:01.540 we have to get back in touch with that side of ourselves 247 00:12:01.540 --> 00:12:04.400 because men are attracted to feminine women 248 00:12:04.400 --> 00:12:06.320 because that's the order of a woman. 249 00:12:06.320 --> 00:12:11.320 Just like a healthy woman is attracted to a masculine man. 250 00:12:14.060 --> 00:12:17.300 And so men who do not operate in masculinity 251 00:12:17.300 --> 00:12:20.700 generally will get a bad rep from women 252 00:12:20.700 --> 00:12:22.420 when they don't show up as a man. 253 00:12:23.260 --> 00:12:25.140 It ticks you out when they want you 254 00:12:25.140 --> 00:12:26.680 to do what they supposed to do. 255 00:12:26.680 --> 00:12:27.520 It ticks you out, 256 00:12:27.520 --> 00:12:29.540 but now he's here and he wants you to lead the way 257 00:12:29.540 --> 00:12:30.580 and hold him by his hand. 258 00:12:30.580 --> 00:12:32.580 What is he, a child? 259 00:12:32.580 --> 00:12:35.680 And so you want him to show up in masculine 260 00:12:35.680 --> 00:12:37.860 just as a man when he talks to a woman, 261 00:12:37.860 --> 00:12:39.540 he doesn't expect to go back and forth 262 00:12:39.540 --> 00:12:41.140 and bigger with a woman. 263 00:12:41.140 --> 00:12:43.380 Men generally don't like to argue with women 264 00:12:43.380 --> 00:12:44.620 because it's disrespectful 265 00:12:44.620 --> 00:12:46.820 and men don't like to be disrespected. 266 00:12:46.820 --> 00:12:48.300 And when men are disrespected, 267 00:12:48.300 --> 00:12:49.820 they don't see a woman as a woman. 268 00:12:49.820 --> 00:12:52.020 They like, look, you just need to get back. 269 00:12:52.820 --> 00:12:55.740 But a woman who's not in touch with her feminine order 270 00:12:55.740 --> 00:12:59.060 or who is hurt will operate that way. 271 00:12:59.060 --> 00:13:02.500 Or a woman who has been shaped in that order. 272 00:13:02.500 --> 00:13:05.160 I was very disrespectful to men. 273 00:13:05.160 --> 00:13:07.940 Not by choice, I was cultivated that way. 274 00:13:07.940 --> 00:13:10.060 Now I would never say harmful, 275 00:13:10.060 --> 00:13:12.700 like hurtful things to hit someone below the belt, 276 00:13:12.700 --> 00:13:14.620 but I had very little respect. 277 00:13:14.620 --> 00:13:16.300 I could get it done myself. 278 00:13:16.300 --> 00:13:18.340 That's how the women in my family are. 279 00:13:18.340 --> 00:13:20.300 Even the ones who had husbands, 280 00:13:20.780 --> 00:13:22.540 they did what that woman said to do. 281 00:13:22.540 --> 00:13:25.700 She ran the house, she made the money, 282 00:13:25.700 --> 00:13:27.260 and that's how it was gonna go. 283 00:13:27.260 --> 00:13:29.220 You was not gonna tell a woman in my family, 284 00:13:29.220 --> 00:13:30.540 even to this day, 285 00:13:32.020 --> 00:13:34.620 what she's gonna do about her children 286 00:13:34.620 --> 00:13:37.480 and about her money and about her life. 287 00:13:37.480 --> 00:13:40.200 And then whatever if you don't like it. 288 00:13:41.940 --> 00:13:45.780 And so when I came into this program 289 00:13:45.780 --> 00:13:48.860 and when I came under these teachings, 290 00:13:48.900 --> 00:13:50.300 there were a lot of adjustments 291 00:13:50.300 --> 00:13:51.940 that need to be made in me. 292 00:13:51.940 --> 00:13:54.620 And it was easy to make them in my mind, 293 00:13:54.620 --> 00:13:57.740 but they're best made in live action. 294 00:13:57.740 --> 00:14:01.660 So we are going to talk about feminine tonight. 295 00:14:05.380 --> 00:14:07.260 So like when you're on a date, 296 00:14:07.260 --> 00:14:08.820 it's a good time to practice. 297 00:14:08.820 --> 00:14:10.580 That's why we say, and I told you, 298 00:14:10.580 --> 00:14:14.580 you get, well, I did the daytime session. 299 00:14:14.580 --> 00:14:19.180 But the last, yeah, I did the daytime session, 300 00:14:19.180 --> 00:14:22.940 but we said, I said that dating is a skill 301 00:14:22.940 --> 00:14:27.600 that we use in this program to develop you, to expand you. 302 00:14:28.880 --> 00:14:30.620 And so while you're dating, 303 00:14:30.620 --> 00:14:33.740 it helps you practice your feminine order. 304 00:14:33.740 --> 00:14:36.980 It helps you sit back in a very low stakes way 305 00:14:36.980 --> 00:14:38.660 because when you're married, 306 00:14:38.660 --> 00:14:40.180 you realize that the decision 307 00:14:40.180 --> 00:14:42.280 that your spouse makes affects you. 308 00:14:43.280 --> 00:14:46.800 It's even harder when somebody's decision 309 00:14:46.800 --> 00:14:51.520 directly affects you to stay in a particular order. 310 00:14:51.520 --> 00:14:53.520 But when you have practice in order, 311 00:14:53.520 --> 00:14:56.600 when you practice a way of being, 312 00:14:56.600 --> 00:14:59.760 then you can more easily operate in it. 313 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.200 And the pressure comes because you've practiced this for a while. 314 00:15:03.360 --> 00:15:06.440 You don't jump ship and switch over and take over. 315 00:15:08.160 --> 00:15:12.680 So, so dating helps you practice your feminine order. 316 00:15:12.920 --> 00:15:16.440 So what does that look like? It looks like not demanding your way. 317 00:15:17.120 --> 00:15:21.160 It looks like, um, something simple, like when the man is talking, 318 00:15:21.160 --> 00:15:24.360 complimenting him or appreciating him like, Oh, that's a great idea. 319 00:15:24.480 --> 00:15:25.320 Okay. 320 00:15:26.440 --> 00:15:30.120 Not believing inwardly that your ideal is better. Let's just do it this way. 321 00:15:30.640 --> 00:15:34.080 It don't really matter if your ideal is better. That's not the goal. 322 00:15:34.680 --> 00:15:37.600 The goal is for you to operate in your feminine order. 323 00:15:38.280 --> 00:15:42.240 And when a man sees in a man in his masculine order, 324 00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:46.200 sees a woman in her feminine order, then the orders take its place. 325 00:15:48.600 --> 00:15:51.400 Are we all together? Yeah. 326 00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:56.880 And so hard work, what changes me? How do I make that transition? 327 00:15:56.960 --> 00:16:00.600 Hard work can do that for you in intentional practice. 328 00:16:01.080 --> 00:16:02.440 And so you ladies, 329 00:16:02.440 --> 00:16:05.560 if it's not your first time and you've been around phase two for a while, 330 00:16:05.720 --> 00:16:08.600 you know that we practice letting someone hold the door for you. 331 00:16:09.400 --> 00:16:13.480 We practice not always using the word, Oh, I got it. I'll need it. I got it. 332 00:16:14.200 --> 00:16:15.160 So you in fact, 333 00:16:15.160 --> 00:16:19.640 practice your feminine order without necessarily always a man that you're 334 00:16:19.680 --> 00:16:23.400 dating doing it. So if somebody on your job says, let me grab that for you. 335 00:16:23.400 --> 00:16:25.800 Even if it's a woman, you can say, Oh, thank you. 336 00:16:26.760 --> 00:16:31.000 You go against the thinking you that I got, I got, I can do it myself. 337 00:16:31.000 --> 00:16:33.720 I can do it myself. A feminine order looks, 338 00:16:33.800 --> 00:16:36.720 it is a place of not weakness, 339 00:16:37.000 --> 00:16:40.920 but a place of meekness, a place of, yes, I'll accept your help. 340 00:16:42.360 --> 00:16:46.440 I don't mind you tagging along. I don't mind you coming to help me with this. 341 00:16:46.760 --> 00:16:48.440 Even if you do have it, 342 00:16:49.480 --> 00:16:54.040 because I know that many of you ladies have said before, 343 00:16:54.200 --> 00:16:58.680 as I have said, it sure feels good when you have some help around. 344 00:17:00.200 --> 00:17:03.320 Anybody ever felt that way? Like, man, be nice to have some help. 345 00:17:04.119 --> 00:17:08.359 Sometimes when help shows up, you resist help. You push help back, 346 00:17:09.000 --> 00:17:10.839 but you really want to be relieved. 347 00:17:11.720 --> 00:17:16.599 And some parts of us will really withdraw from the desire to have 348 00:17:16.599 --> 00:17:21.079 help because we feel like help never shows up. It's not coming. 349 00:17:21.079 --> 00:17:23.960 So I just got to do it myself, get over it. This is the way it is. 350 00:17:24.440 --> 00:17:27.880 So you're going to be intentional when we're operating and we're 351 00:17:28.920 --> 00:17:33.000 dealing with the heart, going to go out and do intentional things that require 352 00:17:33.000 --> 00:17:38.600 help. You're going to ask for help. The feminine order asks for help, 353 00:17:38.600 --> 00:17:43.000 and she doesn't mind asking for help because she understands this is not a sign of 354 00:17:43.000 --> 00:17:50.920 weakness. One thing that I believe softens us in nature, 355 00:17:51.800 --> 00:17:57.800 in nature, softens our nature as a woman is when we give out compliments. 356 00:17:58.920 --> 00:18:02.600 And then why do I say that? Because when you give out compliments, 357 00:18:02.600 --> 00:18:09.240 you create a space within you to receive. The feminine order receives. 358 00:18:11.160 --> 00:18:14.440 They are open to receiving. Have you ever given a woman a compliment? 359 00:18:14.440 --> 00:18:17.320 Or maybe you are this other woman that I'm going to talk about. 360 00:18:17.320 --> 00:18:21.160 You give them a compliment, be like, Oh, you're so beautiful, beautiful day. 361 00:18:21.160 --> 00:18:25.800 Oh, but look at you. It's like, I'm giving you a compliment, 362 00:18:25.800 --> 00:18:29.560 but you tell me, but Oh, look at me. And so I give an example. 363 00:18:29.560 --> 00:18:33.080 When I just gave, uh, told, um, is it Chantella, right? 364 00:18:34.680 --> 00:18:37.320 Chantelli or Chantella? Chantella. 365 00:18:37.320 --> 00:18:42.200 Chantella. I said, Chantella. I said, who was that? She's so pretty. She said, Oh, thank you. 366 00:18:44.040 --> 00:18:51.240 That's a receiving mode, right? And I didn't look at her face, but it may have caused her to blush, 367 00:18:51.240 --> 00:18:55.720 but it's nothing more beautiful than a woman when she blushes, when you give her a compliment. 368 00:18:56.440 --> 00:19:00.520 Do you know that when a man says something to a woman and he looks at her and she blushes, 369 00:19:01.400 --> 00:19:05.480 that he feels like he's hit a home run instead of when he look at her, 370 00:19:05.480 --> 00:19:08.200 her face frowned up because she's too afraid to be vulnerable. 371 00:19:11.800 --> 00:19:15.240 So he says, Hey, beautiful. He like, why are you saying that to me? 372 00:19:15.240 --> 00:19:23.320 Call me by my name. Ah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You just beautiful woman. You're beautiful. 373 00:19:26.360 --> 00:19:35.000 God made man with a keen sense of visual. He very, very visual, very, very visual. 374 00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:38.840 And once he's a beautiful woman, he tells her that she's beautiful. 375 00:19:39.720 --> 00:19:45.400 And so one of the things that are major to, um, the feminine order is being able to receive, 376 00:19:46.520 --> 00:19:52.680 um, every, most all things about the woman is receiving. And then she produces back out of 377 00:19:52.680 --> 00:19:59.640 that which she has received. And so a lot of times we, um, can produce a lot of anger or 378 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.240 trust, or hurt, or defense if that's what we've been given in life because a woman was made to 379 00:20:06.240 --> 00:20:12.800 receive. She receives, this is not to be graphic, the nature of life. She receives sperm. If it 380 00:20:12.800 --> 00:20:20.960 meets with the egg, she produces a baby, right? If this woman encounters or endures hurt by the hand 381 00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:25.520 of someone she's dating or somebody she loves, well, you know what happens is, which is a more 382 00:20:25.520 --> 00:20:31.280 natural thing to protect and guard yourself, but that's what she'll produce over time. If she grows 383 00:20:31.280 --> 00:20:35.680 up with a father who does not see her, hear her, or know her, she doesn't feel accepted as a little 384 00:20:35.680 --> 00:20:41.600 girl, she's going to go through life feeling like no one sees her, hears her, knows her. We produce 385 00:20:41.600 --> 00:20:50.400 what we've endured in life or encountered in life because women we receive. And so intentionally 386 00:20:50.400 --> 00:20:56.720 putting yourself in a place of receiving is very helpful to you, especially when you can 387 00:20:56.720 --> 00:21:04.000 set it up on your own to help yourself grow in your femininity. So on a scale of one, two, 388 00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:10.240 three, three being the least resistance or the least amount of femininity you feel you carry 389 00:21:10.240 --> 00:21:18.800 within you, and one being the greatest amount. Put in the chat if you believe you are about a one, 390 00:21:18.800 --> 00:21:24.320 like I do femininity really well, it's really a part of me, all the numbers are coming in, or three, 391 00:21:24.320 --> 00:21:31.680 it is a hard thing for me to get with this femininity stuff. So yeah, I have a lot of twos. 392 00:21:31.680 --> 00:21:41.200 Oh, Eloise, I like that one. I have a three, a six. Okay. I've been there. I know what you're 393 00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:49.040 talking about. I have to coach myself, a five. I am a coacher of myself. I coach myself constantly 394 00:21:49.040 --> 00:21:56.960 in my mind. One, Mandy, you are pretty feminine. I would have to agree with you. Ah, theta three, 395 00:21:56.960 --> 00:22:03.920 Nikki G, a two. I love getting compliments and receiving them without dismissing them. That's 396 00:22:03.920 --> 00:22:13.120 good, Karen. Yeah. Getting closer to one, that's good. It takes time to develop, learn good, a two, 397 00:22:13.120 --> 00:22:17.360 and there are things that can happen to make you want to retreat and run back in there. But 398 00:22:17.360 --> 00:22:24.880 my encouragement would be, Sarah, maybe you misheard. So on a scale of one to three, 399 00:22:25.840 --> 00:22:33.920 three being the most resistant to femininity, like you tend not to operate in that feminine 400 00:22:33.920 --> 00:22:43.280 soft order, or one being most feminine, also a two. Okay. How much we have to juggle, too, 401 00:22:43.920 --> 00:22:48.400 can cause us, and we just talked about that, it just can cause things to be a little out of balance. 402 00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:53.040 But at any time, you can put those things back in order in your life. And I encourage you not 403 00:22:53.200 --> 00:22:56.400 to resist it, because there's no man looking to date another man. 404 00:22:59.280 --> 00:23:06.080 Okay. Just like nobody wants to come join you in your prison, or be around boring... You want to 405 00:23:06.080 --> 00:23:09.440 be around a boring person? Nobody wants to come and join. People like to go to a party. 406 00:23:10.960 --> 00:23:14.640 People like to be around encouragement, and laughter, and joy, and peace. 407 00:23:15.600 --> 00:23:22.720 And so a feminine woman carries peace. She's not a raging storm walking around, 408 00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:30.640 ready to pop out at any given time. All you got to do is slightly tap her. Right? And so that's 409 00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:36.400 the thing about... Femininity carries peace. And so that's why we want you to work while you're 410 00:23:36.400 --> 00:23:41.600 in this program. That's why it's a part of this, to help expand your capacity in this area, and to 411 00:23:42.080 --> 00:23:48.320 help you grow in it. And hence that being said, we want you to work diligently to grow in your 412 00:23:48.320 --> 00:23:53.760 feminine order, because you're going to need it for marriage. Because once you get in your marriage, 413 00:23:53.760 --> 00:24:00.000 if you have not worked on your takeover mode, that you a boss at work, and then you're going 414 00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:07.040 to come and be a boss at home, you are by default pushing your husband out of his place. So either 415 00:24:07.040 --> 00:24:10.640 he's going to fight for it, and then he's just going to give up, and then you're going to be 416 00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:15.360 the wife complaining that he don't do nothing, and you do everything. When you know good and 417 00:24:15.360 --> 00:24:23.760 well, you fought that man tooth and nails to have that position. So do yourself the greatest favor 418 00:24:23.760 --> 00:24:31.200 you could do, and take this time now to grow in the areas that need to be strengthened, that need 419 00:24:31.200 --> 00:24:38.160 to be established for some of us, and expanded. And so as we do the inner work and the hard work, 420 00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:42.400 this will help us become more feminine in nature, to become more of a receiver. 421 00:24:43.120 --> 00:24:49.120 One of our, not one of them, yeah, one of the activation for this week is an activation of 422 00:24:49.120 --> 00:24:58.240 receiving, where you get to practice receiving. Receiving really opens you up, right? And also, 423 00:24:58.240 --> 00:24:59.760 when we receive more, 424 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.440 we actually fear less. 425 00:25:03.440 --> 00:25:05.760 A lot of the decisions we make to guard 426 00:25:05.760 --> 00:25:08.720 and protect ourselves are rooted in fear. 427 00:25:08.720 --> 00:25:12.240 That's why the posture of a heart has a lot to do 428 00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:14.400 with your feminine order. 429 00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:18.120 So if you are fearful that if I do this, 430 00:25:18.120 --> 00:25:19.000 you're gonna do that. 431 00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:20.960 And if I allow this, this is gonna happen. 432 00:25:20.960 --> 00:25:24.160 All of that is old wounds and baggage, right? 433 00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:27.000 But the heart posture of a feminine heart, 434 00:25:27.000 --> 00:25:30.760 you can't be open to receive if you're always guarding, 435 00:25:30.760 --> 00:25:32.760 if you're always protecting. 436 00:25:32.760 --> 00:25:35.480 Hence, Jackie says that we are God defended. 437 00:25:35.480 --> 00:25:36.840 And I've talked about this before, 438 00:25:36.840 --> 00:25:39.420 being God defended comes with a journey. 439 00:25:40.560 --> 00:25:44.620 And so we will say it a lot, but remember you're God defended 440 00:25:44.620 --> 00:25:47.340 but it didn't really feel that way at first. 441 00:25:47.340 --> 00:25:52.040 It took me, drum roll, about a year to realize 442 00:25:52.040 --> 00:25:53.540 I was God defended. 443 00:25:54.600 --> 00:25:56.560 I didn't give up though. 444 00:25:57.120 --> 00:25:58.840 So you gotta think, you'll start out 445 00:25:58.840 --> 00:26:00.600 first time hearing God defended, 446 00:26:00.600 --> 00:26:02.760 you agree with it logically in your mind 447 00:26:02.760 --> 00:26:05.600 because yeah, God does defend us. 448 00:26:05.600 --> 00:26:10.600 But to partner with him on this journey to marriage 449 00:26:12.320 --> 00:26:15.680 is a whole different form of being God defended. 450 00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:20.680 That means that you're not trying to go do the research 451 00:26:21.320 --> 00:26:22.160 and protect yourself. 452 00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:26.300 That means that you're not going ahead of the process 453 00:26:27.300 --> 00:26:30.500 and to protect yourself in the future 454 00:26:30.500 --> 00:26:32.220 and missing the present. 455 00:26:32.220 --> 00:26:33.540 And I think this is something, 456 00:26:33.540 --> 00:26:35.300 I don't know if y'all seen Nadine's post 457 00:26:35.300 --> 00:26:37.380 but she has the most beautiful date. 458 00:26:38.740 --> 00:26:40.820 And she had the most beautiful flower. 459 00:26:40.820 --> 00:26:43.300 If that was not the perfect one of the, 460 00:26:43.300 --> 00:26:45.140 I've seen some perfect first dates, 461 00:26:45.140 --> 00:26:46.620 but that was one of the perfect first dates. 462 00:26:46.620 --> 00:26:49.660 He brought her pretzels and cause she's German 463 00:26:49.660 --> 00:26:52.340 and he wanted her to taste it right there in front of him. 464 00:26:52.340 --> 00:26:55.620 So that tells you he was super excited, right? 465 00:26:55.620 --> 00:26:58.700 And it was just such a beautiful date. 466 00:26:58.700 --> 00:27:01.020 But one of the things I come in and then said to her 467 00:27:01.020 --> 00:27:05.020 and it's posted and she said that she liked the flowers 468 00:27:05.020 --> 00:27:07.180 and she had been there before, 469 00:27:07.180 --> 00:27:11.660 but she didn't allow herself to fully enjoy that moment 470 00:27:11.660 --> 00:27:14.480 because she said, I'll enjoy it later on 471 00:27:14.480 --> 00:27:16.420 when I can see who you really are. 472 00:27:18.740 --> 00:27:23.220 That is a mindset that takes us out of a feminine order 473 00:27:23.220 --> 00:27:25.540 because a feminine order receives 474 00:27:26.380 --> 00:27:28.780 and it doesn't allow you to live in the joy 475 00:27:28.780 --> 00:27:30.100 that's in front of you, 476 00:27:30.100 --> 00:27:32.900 to receive the moment that you're in 477 00:27:32.900 --> 00:27:35.100 because you've gone ahead, 478 00:27:35.100 --> 00:27:38.260 you've taken back from the past what has happened 479 00:27:38.260 --> 00:27:42.380 and you brought it to the present and it's from the enemy. 480 00:27:42.380 --> 00:27:45.640 It's still, it's a thief of your joy. 481 00:27:48.140 --> 00:27:51.080 And it's challenging to do that though 482 00:27:51.080 --> 00:27:52.900 because you have to override, 483 00:27:52.900 --> 00:27:55.340 actively override everything you know 484 00:27:55.340 --> 00:27:57.740 to get to and to live in this space. 485 00:27:57.740 --> 00:27:59.180 And so you will have to be equipped 486 00:27:59.180 --> 00:28:00.820 with something in the back of your head. 487 00:28:00.820 --> 00:28:02.180 Maybe Nadine would have did this 488 00:28:02.180 --> 00:28:05.500 because she is really exceptional with things. 489 00:28:05.500 --> 00:28:06.860 If she knew that would happen, 490 00:28:06.860 --> 00:28:08.140 she could have kept telling herself 491 00:28:08.140 --> 00:28:10.840 when the enemy came to rob her of the joy of that moment, 492 00:28:10.840 --> 00:28:13.620 she could have kept telling herself, I live for today. 493 00:28:13.620 --> 00:28:14.820 I live for right now. 494 00:28:14.820 --> 00:28:16.740 I don't have grace for six months. 495 00:28:16.740 --> 00:28:18.340 I have grace for today. 496 00:28:18.340 --> 00:28:22.420 My grace for today says to receive these beautiful flowers. 497 00:28:22.540 --> 00:28:26.340 Whether he turns out to be a monkey on a tree, 498 00:28:26.340 --> 00:28:27.820 it really doesn't matter. 499 00:28:27.820 --> 00:28:29.660 This day, her first date, 500 00:28:29.660 --> 00:28:32.020 he met her with pretzels and with flowers 501 00:28:32.020 --> 00:28:34.900 and nothing can take that experience away. 502 00:28:34.900 --> 00:28:37.260 But we will allow our past experience 503 00:28:37.260 --> 00:28:39.220 and what somebody even does in the future 504 00:28:39.220 --> 00:28:42.620 to rob us of the experience that we had. 505 00:28:42.620 --> 00:28:44.180 It doesn't have to be that way. 506 00:28:45.420 --> 00:28:48.380 That experience can be an experience all within itself 507 00:28:48.380 --> 00:28:50.340 because right now, 508 00:28:50.340 --> 00:28:52.740 every one of you have signed up for this program 509 00:28:52.740 --> 00:28:56.120 and you are in partnership with God for your love story. 510 00:28:57.020 --> 00:29:00.140 So that means no matter who jumps ships, 511 00:29:00.140 --> 00:29:01.940 you still in partnership with the Lord. 512 00:29:01.940 --> 00:29:04.100 That's who you're partnering with. 513 00:29:04.100 --> 00:29:05.900 You're not partnering with their maybe. 514 00:29:05.900 --> 00:29:07.480 You're not partnering with their hope. 515 00:29:07.480 --> 00:29:09.500 You're not partnering with their decision. 516 00:29:09.500 --> 00:29:11.620 You're not partnering with scarcity. 517 00:29:11.620 --> 00:29:13.800 You're not partnering with fear. 518 00:29:13.800 --> 00:29:15.420 You're partnering with the Lord. 519 00:29:15.420 --> 00:29:17.740 And as you get more grounded 520 00:29:17.740 --> 00:29:19.780 in the part of partnership with the Lord, 521 00:29:19.780 --> 00:29:21.260 partnering with the Lord, 522 00:29:21.260 --> 00:29:24.900 you can take on or receive more of the mindset 523 00:29:24.900 --> 00:29:28.420 in a full understanding of being God defended. 524 00:29:28.420 --> 00:29:31.820 And it all is a journey and it's okay. 525 00:29:33.580 --> 00:29:35.260 It's all a journey. 526 00:29:35.260 --> 00:29:38.060 And so it can be very frustrating. 527 00:29:38.060 --> 00:29:38.920 Why? 528 00:29:38.920 --> 00:29:40.340 Because there's a part you play 529 00:29:40.340 --> 00:29:41.740 and there's a part God play. 530 00:29:42.820 --> 00:29:46.140 And sometimes those lines get crossed over. 531 00:29:46.140 --> 00:29:47.780 It gets blurry 532 00:29:47.780 --> 00:29:49.740 because there's so many things you have to do 533 00:29:50.580 --> 00:29:51.860 and the things that you can't do, God does. 534 00:29:51.860 --> 00:29:54.500 But we're like, I'm putting this formula in 535 00:29:54.500 --> 00:29:55.700 and it ain't producing. 536 00:29:56.780 --> 00:29:57.820 That's frustrating. 537 00:29:59.180 --> 00:30:00.580 But then we forget about it. 538 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.240 about our partner, right? 539 00:30:03.240 --> 00:30:15.480 So there are possible, these are, 540 00:30:15.480 --> 00:30:17.160 and I just want to make mention of them 541 00:30:17.160 --> 00:30:19.480 because we won't get through all of them, 542 00:30:19.480 --> 00:30:21.200 and that's OK because I want to give us 543 00:30:21.200 --> 00:30:25.040 some time to take questions. 544 00:30:25.040 --> 00:30:27.160 And so for the sake of it, I'll read them 545 00:30:27.160 --> 00:30:29.280 and then I'll touch on two. 546 00:30:29.280 --> 00:30:33.440 There can be common dating blocks, 547 00:30:33.440 --> 00:30:35.480 and we can all experience them. 548 00:30:35.480 --> 00:30:39.360 We all carry them at some point, whether we started with them 549 00:30:39.360 --> 00:30:41.040 and we no longer have them. 550 00:30:41.040 --> 00:30:43.160 And they come in patterns. 551 00:30:43.160 --> 00:30:46.480 And usually, the first pattern is 552 00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:50.200 overgiving or over-controlling. 553 00:30:50.200 --> 00:30:54.720 Another pattern is guarded or over-protective. 554 00:30:54.720 --> 00:30:57.000 And so in our first pattern, what we have 555 00:30:57.000 --> 00:30:59.680 is overgiving or over-controlling. 556 00:30:59.680 --> 00:31:02.840 What does this look like, trying to secure the outcome? 557 00:31:02.840 --> 00:31:04.800 How many of us try our very, very best 558 00:31:04.800 --> 00:31:06.760 to secure the outcome? 559 00:31:06.760 --> 00:31:08.840 All right, yes. 560 00:31:08.840 --> 00:31:11.200 I try to secure the outcome, not just in dating. 561 00:31:11.200 --> 00:31:14.320 You're going to see you try to secure the outcome in life. 562 00:31:14.320 --> 00:31:17.880 It's like, let me set this up so this could be this way. 563 00:31:17.880 --> 00:31:19.760 We're going to try to secure our outcome. 564 00:31:19.760 --> 00:31:23.080 And ideally, in our mind, when we're securing the outcome, 565 00:31:23.080 --> 00:31:24.520 it's to protect ourselves. 566 00:31:27.200 --> 00:31:29.200 Hence, you are God-defended. 567 00:31:29.200 --> 00:31:32.200 Let him protect you. 568 00:31:32.200 --> 00:31:34.240 Over-texting or over-initiating. 569 00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:35.960 And most of us fear this. 570 00:31:35.960 --> 00:31:40.320 So I've seen most women err on the side of, 571 00:31:40.320 --> 00:31:41.960 he ain't pursuing me. 572 00:31:41.960 --> 00:31:45.400 He said he liked me, and he ain't texting me. 573 00:31:45.400 --> 00:31:48.120 So we actually go too far on the other side. 574 00:31:48.120 --> 00:31:50.400 OK, control-free, trying to work on it. 575 00:31:50.400 --> 00:31:52.640 Oh, good, Rosanna. 576 00:31:52.680 --> 00:31:54.960 But over-texting or over-initiating, 577 00:31:54.960 --> 00:31:59.160 and for some of us, it's under-texting or under-initiating. 578 00:31:59.160 --> 00:32:02.080 In the ideal of, a man's supposed to pursue me, 579 00:32:02.080 --> 00:32:04.400 that's where this thing has it. 580 00:32:04.400 --> 00:32:10.680 He's supposed to pursue me, or yeah, 581 00:32:10.680 --> 00:32:11.840 he's supposed to pursue me. 582 00:32:11.840 --> 00:32:13.080 He's supposed to do it all. 583 00:32:13.080 --> 00:32:18.000 And you don't also, also, we want, some of us 584 00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:23.400 want people to prove, prove that they're not 585 00:32:23.400 --> 00:32:25.920 going to hurt us, prove that they're good. 586 00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:28.560 So that's what happens when you are given something, 587 00:32:28.560 --> 00:32:30.080 you're like, oh, I'll wait to see. 588 00:32:30.080 --> 00:32:34.280 Prove to me that you are who you say you are. 589 00:32:34.280 --> 00:32:35.440 That's a roadblock. 590 00:32:40.800 --> 00:32:45.520 This proves something to me is birthed out of fear. 591 00:32:45.560 --> 00:32:48.600 And so when you see that rising up in you, 592 00:32:48.600 --> 00:32:51.800 that you want somebody to prove so that you could feel secure, 593 00:32:51.800 --> 00:32:54.360 I want you to know you'll never feel secure, 594 00:32:54.360 --> 00:32:56.560 because you are not secure. 595 00:32:56.560 --> 00:32:58.960 People cannot make you feel secure. 596 00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:01.880 They can only do it temporarily because they are human, 597 00:33:01.880 --> 00:33:05.240 and they are going to do something that causes you pain. 598 00:33:05.240 --> 00:33:06.000 So why? 599 00:33:06.000 --> 00:33:08.440 Because you get to practice forgiveness. 600 00:33:08.440 --> 00:33:10.560 You get to practice grace. 601 00:33:10.560 --> 00:33:14.040 And if you're unwilling to practice forgiveness or grace, 602 00:33:14.040 --> 00:33:18.120 dry your tears about God giving you a husband. 603 00:33:18.120 --> 00:33:19.960 Because the foundation of marriage 604 00:33:19.960 --> 00:33:21.720 is forgiveness and grace. 605 00:33:21.720 --> 00:33:23.720 If anybody is going to hurt you to your core, 606 00:33:23.720 --> 00:33:24.960 it's going to be your husband. 607 00:33:24.960 --> 00:33:26.760 If you're going to forgive him more times 608 00:33:26.760 --> 00:33:29.440 than you forgive anybody else in your life, 609 00:33:29.440 --> 00:33:32.400 that's who you do life with every day. 610 00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:35.600 Every day, day in, day out, wake up, lay down, wake up, 611 00:33:35.600 --> 00:33:37.720 lay down, wake up, lay down, wake up. 612 00:33:37.720 --> 00:33:40.240 And that doesn't mean that they're going to come and rip 613 00:33:40.240 --> 00:33:42.880 your family apart, but it does mean 614 00:33:42.880 --> 00:33:44.080 you have to do life with them. 615 00:33:44.080 --> 00:33:45.520 You have to do life with yourself. 616 00:33:45.520 --> 00:33:46.600 That's tough enough. 617 00:33:49.920 --> 00:33:54.680 And so forgiveness and grace is a core. 618 00:33:54.680 --> 00:33:57.960 It's a core foundation in marriage. 619 00:33:57.960 --> 00:34:01.040 Some of us give too much too soon. 620 00:34:01.040 --> 00:34:02.920 We just lay it all out. 621 00:34:02.920 --> 00:34:05.360 And then some of us refuse to give anything. 622 00:34:05.360 --> 00:34:07.440 We refuse to show up with a smile. 623 00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:10.920 We refuse to be ourselves, because I'm just 624 00:34:10.920 --> 00:34:12.719 going to wait to see how it's going to go. 625 00:34:12.719 --> 00:34:14.520 You're never going to get to how it's going to go, 626 00:34:14.520 --> 00:34:16.520 because nobody don't want to be around somebody 627 00:34:16.520 --> 00:34:19.199 that look like they sucking on a lemon. 628 00:34:19.199 --> 00:34:22.159 Nobody wants to talk to somebody who has a security checklist 629 00:34:22.159 --> 00:34:25.639 just to talk to them, OK? 630 00:34:25.639 --> 00:34:28.960 You don't even want to talk to a man that has a checklist. 631 00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:31.560 When a man tells, I've talked to enough women, 632 00:34:31.560 --> 00:34:33.320 and I've heard it so many times, when 633 00:34:33.320 --> 00:34:37.320 a man starts talking about what he wants, most all women say, 634 00:34:37.320 --> 00:34:41.360 well, I just feel like I didn't want to talk to him anymore. 635 00:34:41.480 --> 00:34:43.920 It's like he's trying to make me add up or measure up 636 00:34:43.920 --> 00:34:45.320 to something. 637 00:34:45.320 --> 00:34:48.239 Have y'all ever heard anybody say something like that? 638 00:34:48.239 --> 00:34:49.880 Or do you know what I'm talking about? 639 00:34:49.880 --> 00:34:51.520 Are we all together on this? 640 00:34:51.520 --> 00:34:55.600 When it feels like a man is judging you or measuring you. 641 00:34:55.600 --> 00:34:59.360 And the first thing you say is, he don't even know me. 642 00:34:59.360 --> 00:35:00.920 Ladies. 643 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.920 That's the same thing when you do it to a man. 644 00:35:04.360 --> 00:35:06.200 We're called human beings. 645 00:35:06.200 --> 00:35:08.500 One is a male, one is a female. 646 00:35:09.520 --> 00:35:11.280 We all bleed blood. 647 00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:12.680 We all have a heart. 648 00:35:12.680 --> 00:35:13.800 We all hurt. 649 00:35:13.800 --> 00:35:16.560 We're all trying to protect ourselves from something 650 00:35:16.560 --> 00:35:18.660 in some way is human. 651 00:35:18.660 --> 00:35:20.800 Nobody wants to be hurt. 652 00:35:20.800 --> 00:35:24.240 And so your checklist and all of your questions, 653 00:35:24.240 --> 00:35:26.880 that's how they can make a person. 654 00:35:26.880 --> 00:35:29.440 Nobody wants to work to be something for you. 655 00:35:29.440 --> 00:35:31.600 They will never get there. 656 00:35:31.600 --> 00:35:33.040 You just never get there 657 00:35:33.040 --> 00:35:35.280 because the person has actually put something 658 00:35:35.280 --> 00:35:36.620 in place to protect them. 659 00:35:38.560 --> 00:35:40.920 When you believe that men are liars, 660 00:35:40.920 --> 00:35:43.280 there ain't gonna be no man who could tell you enough truth. 661 00:35:43.280 --> 00:35:44.100 Why? 662 00:35:44.100 --> 00:35:46.320 Because you're waiting for him to lie. 663 00:35:46.320 --> 00:35:48.560 You're waiting to prove what you believe 664 00:35:48.560 --> 00:35:49.780 to be true about him. 665 00:35:50.680 --> 00:35:52.020 This was up. 666 00:35:52.020 --> 00:35:55.360 I was like the greatest offender of this. 667 00:35:56.500 --> 00:35:58.200 I believe that they gonna, 668 00:35:58.200 --> 00:35:59.400 you gonna lie to me 669 00:35:59.400 --> 00:36:01.480 and I'm gonna remember everything you said. 670 00:36:01.480 --> 00:36:04.400 So when you do lie, I'm gonna catch you in it. 671 00:36:04.400 --> 00:36:05.840 I was like a tape recorder. 672 00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:07.600 Baby, you can take me a year back. 673 00:36:07.600 --> 00:36:09.840 I know exactly what you said and when you said it, 674 00:36:09.840 --> 00:36:12.720 especially if I suspected it wasn't true when you said it. 675 00:36:12.720 --> 00:36:15.840 So I'm gonna ask you 400 questions from that one thing 676 00:36:15.840 --> 00:36:17.480 just to catch you up. 677 00:36:17.480 --> 00:36:19.280 And then after I don't catch you up, 678 00:36:19.280 --> 00:36:22.160 I am making a note. 679 00:36:22.160 --> 00:36:23.680 Yes, receipts. 680 00:36:23.680 --> 00:36:26.360 You said, and I got enough of that receipt 681 00:36:26.360 --> 00:36:28.280 to take it from the top of the conversation, 682 00:36:28.280 --> 00:36:29.480 the middle of the conversation, 683 00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:31.180 the back end of a conversation. 684 00:36:34.040 --> 00:36:36.920 All in the name of protecting myself, 685 00:36:36.920 --> 00:36:39.300 all in the name of fear. 686 00:36:39.300 --> 00:36:41.900 My mind said, well, you're not gonna get over on me. 687 00:36:42.800 --> 00:36:46.560 I won't be the one you get over on, right? 688 00:36:46.560 --> 00:36:51.560 And so, and then ignoring intuition to avoid losing someone 689 00:36:52.000 --> 00:36:53.360 and we see this a lot, 690 00:36:53.360 --> 00:36:55.520 in this phase, this is a lot. 691 00:36:55.520 --> 00:36:57.120 Even if you went on to the next phase, 692 00:36:57.120 --> 00:36:58.320 this is a real thing. 693 00:37:00.560 --> 00:37:02.880 It is birthed from a scarcity mindset 694 00:37:04.480 --> 00:37:06.520 and you just kind of avoid things 695 00:37:06.520 --> 00:37:09.400 or you're like, well, I can try to make it work. 696 00:37:09.400 --> 00:37:10.880 Some people actually go to the extreme. 697 00:37:10.880 --> 00:37:13.160 They don't even try to investigate none at all. 698 00:37:13.160 --> 00:37:15.440 And the other one like, I'm just, it's not happening. 699 00:37:15.440 --> 00:37:16.260 It's not happening. 700 00:37:16.260 --> 00:37:17.160 It's not happening. 701 00:37:17.160 --> 00:37:19.200 I thought we were perfect for each other. 702 00:37:19.200 --> 00:37:21.000 He loves God. 703 00:37:21.000 --> 00:37:22.720 He is this, he is that. 704 00:37:22.720 --> 00:37:25.500 Now, this is just a weekend and we're perfect. 705 00:37:29.040 --> 00:37:32.800 And so, we hold on out of scarcity. 706 00:37:33.700 --> 00:37:36.420 So, and then managing the connection 707 00:37:36.420 --> 00:37:38.400 instead of allowing it. 708 00:37:39.880 --> 00:37:42.920 So, what that means is you try to manage the connection. 709 00:37:42.920 --> 00:37:44.920 If the person didn't call at this time, 710 00:37:44.920 --> 00:37:46.440 why didn't they do it? 711 00:37:46.440 --> 00:37:48.120 Instead of allowing the connection 712 00:37:48.120 --> 00:37:51.080 to take its natural course, right? 713 00:37:51.080 --> 00:37:52.500 That's just a small example. 714 00:37:53.280 --> 00:37:54.340 So, getting nervous every time something 715 00:37:54.340 --> 00:37:56.780 it seems a little bit off kilter. 716 00:37:56.780 --> 00:37:59.660 Letting a person show up and be who they are. 717 00:38:02.100 --> 00:38:04.820 This is a pattern that we actually operate in, 718 00:38:04.820 --> 00:38:06.840 but we said that this could look like 719 00:38:06.840 --> 00:38:08.380 trying to secure the outcome, 720 00:38:08.380 --> 00:38:10.460 over texting or over initiating. 721 00:38:10.460 --> 00:38:12.780 And I'm responding to a chat question, ladies. 722 00:38:12.780 --> 00:38:14.860 Giving too much too soon, 723 00:38:16.380 --> 00:38:19.980 ignoring your intuition to avoid losing someone 724 00:38:20.980 --> 00:38:24.580 or managing the connection instead of allowing it. 725 00:38:27.060 --> 00:38:28.380 Think of it this way. 726 00:38:28.380 --> 00:38:33.060 Every time you override yourself to keep someone, 727 00:38:33.060 --> 00:38:35.040 you delay alignment. 728 00:38:36.860 --> 00:38:38.860 You are dating for discovery. 729 00:38:38.860 --> 00:38:42.160 The best tool you can keep in your tool belt is this. 730 00:38:42.160 --> 00:38:44.220 This is not my husband. 731 00:38:45.340 --> 00:38:48.500 But if within your mind you have decided, 732 00:38:48.500 --> 00:38:50.980 yes, I am dating for a husband 733 00:38:50.980 --> 00:38:53.260 and that's just the way it's gonna be. 734 00:38:53.260 --> 00:38:56.420 You're gonna have a lot of roller coaster ups and downs 735 00:38:56.420 --> 00:38:57.440 on this journey. 736 00:38:58.980 --> 00:39:02.140 Because you do not date for a husband. 737 00:39:02.140 --> 00:39:07.060 In this phase, dating is a skill that we are using 738 00:39:07.060 --> 00:39:11.000 to help you grow and to expand for the love story 739 00:39:11.000 --> 00:39:12.820 that God is writing for you. 740 00:39:12.820 --> 00:39:16.940 And if every man you talk to, you say, is this the one? 741 00:39:16.940 --> 00:39:20.580 It is torturous because you start evaluating him 742 00:39:20.580 --> 00:39:23.460 off of expectations of a husband 743 00:39:23.460 --> 00:39:27.740 and you skip getting to know this person as a person. 744 00:39:27.740 --> 00:39:29.500 You don't even show up as yourself 745 00:39:29.500 --> 00:39:32.900 because you're too busy trying to see if he is the one. 746 00:39:34.100 --> 00:39:36.420 And so if he didn't meet this then, 747 00:39:36.420 --> 00:39:38.140 he didn't meet this then, he go to church 748 00:39:38.140 --> 00:39:40.020 but I don't really think he into church that much. 749 00:39:40.020 --> 00:39:42.260 And so I just know that we're not gonna work. 750 00:39:43.180 --> 00:39:46.660 Well, my golly, what if he went to church 751 00:39:47.380 --> 00:39:49.460 and when you came along, he got a little bit more committed 752 00:39:49.460 --> 00:39:52.140 and he joined a mean group within three months. 753 00:39:53.780 --> 00:39:56.220 But that's, do you understand people grow 754 00:39:56.220 --> 00:39:58.500 and I'm not saying that you change the foundational 755 00:39:58.500 --> 00:39:59.340 standards. 756 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.060 That's not what I'm saying to you. 757 00:40:01.060 --> 00:40:02.720 I'm not saying you take somebody 758 00:40:02.720 --> 00:40:04.500 who is not committed to Christ, 759 00:40:04.500 --> 00:40:06.640 talking about they're gonna grow, hear me. 760 00:40:06.640 --> 00:40:08.560 Because I know how we twist things over. 761 00:40:08.560 --> 00:40:10.860 That's not what I am saying to you. 762 00:40:10.860 --> 00:40:14.280 I am saying we need to show up and see people as people 763 00:40:14.280 --> 00:40:15.800 and that's it. 764 00:40:15.800 --> 00:40:17.720 And let them be who they are. 765 00:40:17.720 --> 00:40:20.640 When you go, if every time you click on a man, 766 00:40:20.640 --> 00:40:22.820 if it is a real thought that comes up 767 00:40:22.820 --> 00:40:23.740 every time you click on them, 768 00:40:23.740 --> 00:40:24.840 every time you go out with somebody, 769 00:40:24.840 --> 00:40:27.360 you're putting, and every time they check the box 770 00:40:27.360 --> 00:40:28.680 and say they love God, 771 00:40:28.680 --> 00:40:29.840 and then you start planning, 772 00:40:29.840 --> 00:40:31.680 what would life be like if I live there? 773 00:40:31.680 --> 00:40:33.640 What would life be like if they live here? 774 00:40:33.640 --> 00:40:34.880 They say they got children. 775 00:40:34.880 --> 00:40:36.160 How can we move this around? 776 00:40:36.160 --> 00:40:37.280 Well, I'm okay with children. 777 00:40:37.280 --> 00:40:38.560 I guess I could do that. 778 00:40:40.680 --> 00:40:43.680 When you hear those thoughts, cut them jokers off. 779 00:40:46.320 --> 00:40:50.220 We avoid dating for a husband 780 00:40:50.220 --> 00:40:52.480 by understanding that in phase two, 781 00:40:52.480 --> 00:40:56.540 you use dating as a skill to help you grow. 782 00:40:56.540 --> 00:40:58.540 If you ladies are on this calling, 783 00:40:59.400 --> 00:41:01.580 you can attest to this, please raise your hand. 784 00:41:01.580 --> 00:41:02.940 When you start dating, 785 00:41:02.940 --> 00:41:05.820 you actually do discover things about yourself. 786 00:41:05.820 --> 00:41:06.740 Who knows that? 787 00:41:06.740 --> 00:41:09.540 Let me just let the ladies who don't know that, 788 00:41:09.540 --> 00:41:11.500 that this is a real thing. 789 00:41:11.500 --> 00:41:15.220 That when you start dating, you discover a lot about you. 790 00:41:16.540 --> 00:41:18.860 And you actually discover more about you 791 00:41:18.860 --> 00:41:21.020 than you do about them. 792 00:41:21.020 --> 00:41:24.620 And it's not gonna touch you until you start that dating. 793 00:41:24.620 --> 00:41:27.780 And so what I do is every man that I get to know, 794 00:41:27.820 --> 00:41:30.260 especially if he look like he gonna really pan out, 795 00:41:30.260 --> 00:41:33.200 I remind myself that he is not my husband. 796 00:41:33.200 --> 00:41:36.060 And if he is my husband, the Lord will make it clear. 797 00:41:36.900 --> 00:41:39.360 Because you will take those expectations 798 00:41:39.360 --> 00:41:42.700 and miss an opportunity to get to know a wonderful person. 799 00:41:42.700 --> 00:41:46.080 You will judge too soon, too harshly, 800 00:41:46.080 --> 00:41:49.180 because in you, you're gonna go into protection mode. 801 00:41:49.180 --> 00:41:51.180 And if you believe that that is your spouse, 802 00:41:51.180 --> 00:41:54.060 everything they do, you're gonna overanalyze it 803 00:41:54.060 --> 00:41:56.660 because you're trying to protect yourself from hurt. 804 00:41:58.780 --> 00:42:02.620 You don't need to go into fantasy land. 805 00:42:02.620 --> 00:42:04.420 That's another place you'll go to. 806 00:42:05.340 --> 00:42:08.580 And you look up and you only been talking to him for a week. 807 00:42:10.320 --> 00:42:11.940 Two weeks. 808 00:42:11.940 --> 00:42:15.460 This is not a good way to guard your heart. 809 00:42:15.460 --> 00:42:17.340 And so you remind yourself constantly 810 00:42:17.340 --> 00:42:19.300 by repeating it in your mind. 811 00:42:19.300 --> 00:42:22.220 This is not my husband. 812 00:42:22.220 --> 00:42:24.340 This is not my husband. 813 00:42:24.340 --> 00:42:25.180 Why? 814 00:42:25.180 --> 00:42:27.460 Because you wanna ground yourself 815 00:42:28.100 --> 00:42:30.740 so you can see the person that's in front of you 816 00:42:30.740 --> 00:42:32.100 and they can see you. 817 00:42:32.100 --> 00:42:34.720 You are not auditioning to be his spouse. 818 00:42:36.020 --> 00:42:37.140 So you're not sitting there saying, 819 00:42:37.140 --> 00:42:37.980 yep, I got that. 820 00:42:37.980 --> 00:42:38.940 He said he want that. 821 00:42:38.940 --> 00:42:39.780 Yep, I got this. 822 00:42:39.780 --> 00:42:40.820 He said he want that. 823 00:42:40.820 --> 00:42:41.660 Yep, I got this. 824 00:42:41.660 --> 00:42:43.780 He said, now let me show him all that I have. 825 00:42:43.780 --> 00:42:44.980 It really goes that way. 826 00:42:44.980 --> 00:42:46.740 You don't know it subconsciously. 827 00:42:46.740 --> 00:42:49.060 You start operating with that person this way. 828 00:42:49.060 --> 00:42:52.660 And so I wanna encourage us not to do that 829 00:42:52.660 --> 00:42:54.620 because that actually delays alignment 830 00:42:54.660 --> 00:42:57.660 in the person that heaven is writing into your love story. 831 00:42:57.660 --> 00:43:00.460 God, I've been around enough to know 832 00:43:00.460 --> 00:43:02.200 that God will develop us. 833 00:43:04.380 --> 00:43:06.820 If you're gonna have a kingdom marriage, 834 00:43:06.820 --> 00:43:09.740 the Lord wants to expand you, grow you, and develop you. 835 00:43:09.740 --> 00:43:11.380 And this idea that you want a husband 836 00:43:11.380 --> 00:43:12.420 just because you want one 837 00:43:12.420 --> 00:43:14.260 when you're partnering with the one 838 00:43:14.260 --> 00:43:16.580 who is the source of our resources. 839 00:43:16.580 --> 00:43:18.060 When you're partnering with the one 840 00:43:18.060 --> 00:43:22.660 who wants you whole and complete, lacking no good thing, 841 00:43:22.660 --> 00:43:24.820 he is not gonna override the things 842 00:43:24.820 --> 00:43:27.120 that he know lives on the inside of you 843 00:43:27.120 --> 00:43:32.120 that will hijack and terminate a marriage 844 00:43:32.220 --> 00:43:34.460 because it's gonna happen. 845 00:43:34.460 --> 00:43:37.440 Nobody about to live in all this confusion with you, 846 00:43:39.140 --> 00:43:42.980 all this unforgiveness, no grace, entitlement, 847 00:43:45.360 --> 00:43:47.020 and it's not gonna disappear. 848 00:43:47.020 --> 00:43:48.740 It's a part of who you are. 849 00:43:48.740 --> 00:43:52.580 And you use this phase to iron these things out of you 850 00:43:53.400 --> 00:43:55.020 to sharpen yourself. 851 00:43:55.020 --> 00:43:57.500 And you can do it freely with no pressure. 852 00:43:57.500 --> 00:43:59.020 When you get married, you're gonna have the pressure 853 00:43:59.020 --> 00:44:00.660 of marriage saying, you gotta shape up, 854 00:44:00.660 --> 00:44:02.340 you gotta shape up, you gotta shape up 855 00:44:02.340 --> 00:44:04.100 because you're gonna be directly affecting 856 00:44:04.100 --> 00:44:05.340 someone else's life, 857 00:44:05.340 --> 00:44:08.180 which will affect the temperature of your household. 858 00:44:10.940 --> 00:44:12.780 And after that beautiful wedding day, 859 00:44:12.780 --> 00:44:15.140 you're gonna be pretty miserable. 860 00:44:15.140 --> 00:44:17.700 You can ask any married woman you want. 861 00:44:17.700 --> 00:44:18.960 This is a true thing. 862 00:44:19.960 --> 00:44:23.320 And so take this phase that you're in right now 863 00:44:23.320 --> 00:44:28.320 is designed for this and use dating as a tool 864 00:44:28.440 --> 00:44:30.320 to help you develop. 865 00:44:30.320 --> 00:44:33.120 All right, and then I'm gonna stop right there 866 00:44:33.120 --> 00:44:36.680 because we're gonna wrap up at 8.30 and it's 7.45. 867 00:44:36.680 --> 00:44:39.060 And so that gives us about 45 minutes. 868 00:44:40.520 --> 00:44:42.960 Any questions about anything I shared, 869 00:44:42.960 --> 00:44:46.320 any misunderstandings, you need some clarity. 870 00:44:46.320 --> 00:44:48.640 If you do need clarity on what I just shared, 871 00:44:49.320 --> 00:44:53.120 not another question you have about dating or like dating, 872 00:44:53.120 --> 00:44:55.280 but in regards to the teaching. 873 00:44:55.280 --> 00:44:56.640 Can you ask that question now? 874 00:44:56.640 --> 00:44:58.640 Just unmute and ask that question now. 875 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:08.840 I was wondering about, Ebony, so you mentioned that common dating blocks that come in patterns, 876 00:45:08.840 --> 00:45:16.440 you said one is over giving and over controlling, and were there points underneath, how many 877 00:45:16.440 --> 00:45:21.200 points were underneath those two, and then how many points were underneath the over guarded, 878 00:45:21.200 --> 00:45:22.200 over protected? 879 00:45:22.200 --> 00:45:28.520 Yeah, and we didn't, so it's 6.246 under over giving, over controlling, I didn't go to the 880 00:45:28.520 --> 00:45:33.840 part two, which is patterned guarded, and the next pattern is guarded or over protected. 881 00:45:33.840 --> 00:45:39.600 So, and that's why I cut it out, I didn't go over it, I was like, oh, I need to stop 882 00:45:39.600 --> 00:45:41.240 and take questions. 883 00:45:41.240 --> 00:45:44.880 Okay, so we didn't go over the over guarded and over protected, we just went over the 884 00:45:44.880 --> 00:45:48.200 six points of over giving and over controlling? 885 00:45:48.200 --> 00:45:49.200 Yes. 886 00:45:49.200 --> 00:45:51.200 Cool, that helpful, thank you. 887 00:45:51.200 --> 00:45:52.200 You're welcome. 888 00:45:52.200 --> 00:46:04.360 Ebony, I am curious about, I'm Joanne, like what does guarding look like versus, like 889 00:46:04.360 --> 00:46:07.920 good boundaries, you know what I'm saying? 890 00:46:07.920 --> 00:46:08.920 Yes. 891 00:46:08.920 --> 00:46:14.240 And how do you not over, what is the antidote to not over control, which is, I think it's 892 00:46:14.240 --> 00:46:16.880 trusting God, but it's easier said than done. 893 00:46:16.880 --> 00:46:21.360 Yeah, that is easier said than done, especially if you've not really practiced trusting God 894 00:46:21.520 --> 00:46:23.320 in this area before. 895 00:46:23.320 --> 00:46:28.880 And so, let's just look at that, guarded and over protected is a pattern that we can operate 896 00:46:28.880 --> 00:46:39.320 in, and this is not to be confused with insecurity, because that's not what this is, but it's 897 00:46:39.320 --> 00:46:43.120 not insecurity, it's actually protection, so you're trying to protect yourself. 898 00:46:43.120 --> 00:46:48.040 This can be like very rigid boundaries that prevent intimacy, and we're not talking about 899 00:46:48.040 --> 00:46:52.760 sexual intimacy, we're just talking about intimacy, intimacy you see, you get to know 900 00:46:52.760 --> 00:47:01.640 me as a person, you get to know that I'm joyful, that I'm funny, that I'm outgoing, I'm whimsical, 901 00:47:01.640 --> 00:47:05.560 like that is very rigid boundaries that that person can't even get to know you because 902 00:47:05.560 --> 00:47:09.720 you're afraid to show up as yourself. 903 00:47:09.720 --> 00:47:14.840 And then quickly shutting down when vulnerability appears, so it's time to be vulnerable, you 904 00:47:14.840 --> 00:47:16.800 just shut down. 905 00:47:16.800 --> 00:47:20.200 Vulnerability does not mean giving all of your emotional baggage or putting everything 906 00:47:20.200 --> 00:47:23.680 on the table about your family, your past dating relationships, and something about 907 00:47:23.680 --> 00:47:27.720 how someone hurt you, that is not the type of vulnerability I'm talking about, but I'm 908 00:47:27.720 --> 00:47:34.720 talking about vulnerability where you just show up as you, like, hey, you just said something 909 00:47:34.720 --> 00:47:38.880 and I don't know how to take it, but I want to think about it for a little while because 910 00:47:38.880 --> 00:47:42.920 it kind of affected me a little bit, I don't know what it is, but I will tell you about 911 00:47:42.920 --> 00:47:43.920 it. 912 00:47:43.920 --> 00:47:48.360 That is a learned language, vulnerability is learned also, but it's being willing to 913 00:47:48.360 --> 00:47:56.180 just show up as you, not to be accusatory, to speak for you and you alone, okay? 914 00:47:56.180 --> 00:48:00.640 And so instead of you showing up as you and speaking that, hey, something really bothered 915 00:48:00.640 --> 00:48:05.920 me or that was offensive to me, I don't quite know why, but I'll let you know when I do, 916 00:48:05.920 --> 00:48:12.800 you just shut down and you're about to exit the scene, okay? 917 00:48:12.800 --> 00:48:21.600 And then the next one is staying emotionally self-contained. 918 00:48:21.600 --> 00:48:26.260 You have trouble with staying emotionally self-contained, right? 919 00:48:26.260 --> 00:48:31.960 You can't contain your emotions or you feel like everything you feel needs to be said 920 00:48:31.960 --> 00:48:36.840 even though you haven't investigated the root cause, you haven't ran it by anybody, you're 921 00:48:36.840 --> 00:48:42.440 just so anxious, you got to get it out, you got to say this thing. 922 00:48:42.440 --> 00:48:46.640 Or your feelings overriding, just don't feel good, not just the Lord, I know God not telling 923 00:48:46.640 --> 00:48:50.840 me this, I know God not telling me to move forward, God is saying don't do that. 924 00:48:50.840 --> 00:48:56.920 You know, then you assign God to the thought, you assign God to the emotion to help convince 925 00:48:56.920 --> 00:49:00.240 yourself of what you're doing, okay? 926 00:49:00.240 --> 00:49:05.600 And then the last one is what I just said, calling it discernment, but avoid openness, 927 00:49:05.600 --> 00:49:08.840 avoiding being open, you call it discernment. 928 00:49:09.840 --> 00:49:17.920 And that's why it's so important to bring your thoughts to community and let other people 929 00:49:17.920 --> 00:49:22.360 review your thoughts, let the coaches look at your thoughts, let your community look 930 00:49:22.360 --> 00:49:26.600 at your thoughts that they may have something to add to help you see differently. 931 00:49:26.600 --> 00:49:34.000 You ladies always have so much good insight, most of us experience the same things, literally, 932 00:49:34.000 --> 00:49:37.000 there's not much difference at all. 933 00:49:37.040 --> 00:49:40.120 I've been doing this long enough, I've watched ladies long enough, most of y'all think the 934 00:49:40.120 --> 00:49:44.640 same things I think, it's just the way it is. 935 00:49:44.640 --> 00:49:48.600 And so protection can be powerful, but it can also block connection. 936 00:49:50.920 --> 00:49:55.720 And so in this program, you're learning and growing on how to be God defended, where you 937 00:49:55.720 --> 00:50:00.040 don't have to guard yourself, meaning hence protect yourself from some future outcome. 938 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.320 that you have not arrived to yet, and it's okay to be in this moment where you are. 939 00:50:08.000 --> 00:50:10.640 And you don't have to concern yourself about what's coming in the future 940 00:50:12.640 --> 00:50:17.920 because the future is not here yet. You submit yourself to order, you submit yourself to the 941 00:50:17.920 --> 00:50:24.160 boundaries that Jackie has given us in this program, and that's how you guard your heart 942 00:50:24.160 --> 00:50:31.120 without diligence. If you're willing to submit to the order of boundaries, you will guard your heart, 943 00:50:32.320 --> 00:50:40.960 but you will hardly ever get very far with guarding your heart under the guise of fear. 944 00:50:40.960 --> 00:50:46.800 Fear is not a good guarder of your heart. It blocks you and stops you from having life and 945 00:50:46.800 --> 00:50:54.000 enjoying life and moving forward. Fear is not a good protector. Boundaries that you submit to 946 00:50:55.520 --> 00:51:00.480 guards your heart. Pacing, slowing down guards your heart. 947 00:51:04.720 --> 00:51:07.680 That's going to serve you best, okay? 948 00:51:07.680 --> 00:51:18.720 Okay, all right. So, I hope that helped, Joanne. Let's go, Claudia. Claudia, did you leave? Well, if you hear me, you didn't leave. 949 00:51:22.880 --> 00:51:35.280 I'm here, sorry. Oh, you're okay? You had a question? Oh, no, I was just agreeing with, 950 00:51:35.280 --> 00:51:40.000 I thought you were asking us to raise our hand for. Okay, it was still, okay, sorry. 951 00:51:40.640 --> 00:51:43.520 Oh, no, you're okay. You're okay. The next person was Nadine. 952 00:51:46.080 --> 00:51:56.240 Hey, all. I think you answered my question, I think, but I think I just really need to 953 00:51:56.240 --> 00:52:02.160 focus on being present and not thinking about the future, but I do think I have a question about, 954 00:52:02.400 --> 00:52:09.360 okay, so I know that I need to keep dating other people, just that's going to help me 955 00:52:09.360 --> 00:52:15.040 guard my heart and not keep my mind focused on someone if I like them, but, like, do I 956 00:52:15.040 --> 00:52:21.520 need to slow things down even further or am I overthinking? Well, what is the pace right now? 957 00:52:22.240 --> 00:52:28.480 I mean, every day there is a, like, a text message and I would say we have maybe two, 958 00:52:28.480 --> 00:52:35.280 sometimes three conversations a week on the phone. No, you have to get to know each other. 959 00:52:35.920 --> 00:52:40.960 I think him reaching out is a sign that he enjoys you and so you have to get to know each other. 960 00:52:45.680 --> 00:52:51.920 Don't rob yourself of the experience of getting to know someone. Yes, it does come with its risk, 961 00:52:52.880 --> 00:52:58.640 but you're not going to marry somebody, fall in love with somebody without a risk associated with 962 00:52:58.640 --> 00:53:03.760 it, but you're guarding your heart without diligence by keeping pace, and I know you're 963 00:53:03.760 --> 00:53:08.000 asking the question, like, am I pacing this properly? But you have to get to know a person, 964 00:53:08.000 --> 00:53:14.560 so you don't want to cut that out, but talking too much would look like, okay, sometimes you 965 00:53:14.560 --> 00:53:19.280 may get a little, I call it phone wasted. Like, you know, you first start talking to somebody 966 00:53:20.160 --> 00:53:23.840 and you're like, okay, I'm gonna get the phone now. Well, you know, it's two hours later, 967 00:53:23.840 --> 00:53:26.880 and I'm gonna get the phone and it's like, I really gotta go to work, and then you say, 968 00:53:26.880 --> 00:53:30.800 I'm not gonna do that again. Then you do it the next day and the next day until you burn yourself 969 00:53:30.800 --> 00:53:38.000 out, but sometimes you're gonna get a little phone wasted. That's fun, but other than that, 970 00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:43.440 you do, you start your pacing and you're doing a good job with pacing and pacing really helps a 971 00:53:43.440 --> 00:53:49.120 lot. It really does. Okay, I think my schedule is just so busy, so it's hard to, like, include 972 00:53:49.120 --> 00:53:54.720 other dates, and I think that's where I'm kind of, like, a little overwhelmed, because I feel 973 00:53:54.720 --> 00:54:01.120 like that's going to be really important to me, or like, to make sure that I'm still dating other 974 00:54:01.120 --> 00:54:06.640 people. I think that's going to be really important so I don't get attached, but I just feel like 975 00:54:06.640 --> 00:54:15.040 with my schedule, it's kind of hard. So let's challenge your propensity to get attached. 976 00:54:15.600 --> 00:54:22.800 Let's say this time I am going to use this low-stakes, getting-to-know relationship 977 00:54:22.800 --> 00:54:29.840 to deal with my quick attachment. So when you feel yourself wanting to attach, you tell yourself, 978 00:54:29.840 --> 00:54:36.480 no, I am getting to know him, and he is, he feels worth the journey of getting to know, 979 00:54:36.480 --> 00:54:42.480 and I'm definitely worth the journey, because just because you have a propensity to do something 980 00:54:42.480 --> 00:54:48.320 doesn't mean you have to do it. You know yourself, and because you are aware of yourself, 981 00:54:48.320 --> 00:54:56.080 you can lean yourself in the other direction. And if it gets too bad, then start up a chat 982 00:54:56.080 --> 00:54:59.840 with someone else if you want, but Nadine, you do have a very full life. 983 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.100 And so just because you're only talking to him, 984 00:55:02.100 --> 00:55:04.920 it doesn't mean that you're hooked on him. 985 00:55:04.920 --> 00:55:07.560 It's just that you have a full life and you're a single mom 986 00:55:07.560 --> 00:55:09.840 or you co-parent, but you're trying 987 00:55:09.840 --> 00:55:11.560 to fit all these things in. 988 00:55:11.560 --> 00:55:15.480 And so I don't want you to fear just getting to know him. 989 00:55:15.480 --> 00:55:17.360 You guys are not exclusive. 990 00:55:17.360 --> 00:55:20.640 You're going to wait 90 days before you go exclusive 991 00:55:20.640 --> 00:55:21.520 or 60 days. 992 00:55:21.520 --> 00:55:23.180 You still have all these things. 993 00:55:23.180 --> 00:55:25.400 If the conversation comes up and you like them, 994 00:55:25.400 --> 00:55:26.960 tell him the date on the calendar 995 00:55:26.960 --> 00:55:29.480 where you'll revisit those things. 996 00:55:29.480 --> 00:55:31.280 OK. 997 00:55:31.280 --> 00:55:33.760 So if you like him, you're enjoying him, 998 00:55:33.760 --> 00:55:36.720 I want to encourage you to continue getting to know him. 999 00:55:36.720 --> 00:55:38.240 OK. 1000 00:55:38.240 --> 00:55:39.440 You like him? 1001 00:55:39.440 --> 00:55:43.560 I do like him, but I don't like saying it out loud. 1002 00:55:43.560 --> 00:55:45.400 And I feel like it's funny. 1003 00:55:45.400 --> 00:55:48.600 I was telling my friend Mandy, I think she's on the call. 1004 00:55:48.600 --> 00:55:51.920 I was like, every time I feel like I say something, 1005 00:55:51.920 --> 00:55:54.000 I'm like, I'm praying. 1006 00:55:54.000 --> 00:55:56.200 I'm like, Lord, am I going to get a no? 1007 00:55:56.200 --> 00:55:57.480 I get the off the hook. 1008 00:55:57.480 --> 00:55:59.960 You know what else? 1009 00:55:59.960 --> 00:56:02.280 You said you might get a no about what? 1010 00:56:02.280 --> 00:56:03.880 Well, just about everything. 1011 00:56:03.880 --> 00:56:08.680 I feel like every call that I've got on with you, when I share, 1012 00:56:08.680 --> 00:56:12.600 I just automatically assume the response is going to be no 1013 00:56:12.600 --> 00:56:13.600 or don't do that. 1014 00:56:13.600 --> 00:56:15.360 And it's been the opposite. 1015 00:56:15.360 --> 00:56:17.000 So it's been. 1016 00:56:17.000 --> 00:56:17.520 Yeah. 1017 00:56:17.520 --> 00:56:20.080 Yeah, I see what you're saying. 1018 00:56:20.080 --> 00:56:24.600 Nadine, I think I still remember the word that I shared with you 1019 00:56:24.600 --> 00:56:27.760 when I believe it's your season to come out 1020 00:56:27.760 --> 00:56:29.960 of the boxes and the things that have kept you bound. 1021 00:56:29.960 --> 00:56:32.680 And all of the rules that you have that you think 1022 00:56:32.680 --> 00:56:35.160 are going to guard you and protect you, 1023 00:56:35.160 --> 00:56:38.080 it's just time to have fun and live out loud. 1024 00:56:38.080 --> 00:56:42.440 And heaven is not concerned about you 1025 00:56:42.440 --> 00:56:44.880 or some big mess that you're going to make. 1026 00:56:44.880 --> 00:56:48.640 Because he wants to expand your capacity for your love story. 1027 00:56:48.640 --> 00:56:50.640 Because the things that you carry 1028 00:56:50.640 --> 00:56:53.800 that you think are guarding your life from some big uh-oh 1029 00:56:53.800 --> 00:56:55.520 are going to be the things that hinder you 1030 00:56:55.520 --> 00:56:57.080 from walking into your love story. 1031 00:56:57.080 --> 00:56:58.320 And they just can't go. 1032 00:56:58.320 --> 00:56:59.960 They can't go there. 1033 00:56:59.960 --> 00:57:01.920 Because they are actually not just something 1034 00:57:01.920 --> 00:57:03.160 you're doing because of love. 1035 00:57:03.160 --> 00:57:05.720 It's something you're doing to govern yourself with. 1036 00:57:05.720 --> 00:57:08.480 And the Lord wants you governed by grace. 1037 00:57:08.480 --> 00:57:11.800 He wants you governed by wisdom. 1038 00:57:11.800 --> 00:57:15.760 Fear is not a good governor. 1039 00:57:15.760 --> 00:57:18.880 It keeps us bound. 1040 00:57:18.880 --> 00:57:20.120 All right. 1041 00:57:20.120 --> 00:57:23.160 OK, well, then I'll go dancing next time. 1042 00:57:23.160 --> 00:57:24.120 Go dancing! 1043 00:57:24.120 --> 00:57:26.800 All right. 1044 00:57:26.800 --> 00:57:27.320 Thank you. 1045 00:57:27.320 --> 00:57:27.960 Great. 1046 00:57:27.960 --> 00:57:30.520 You're welcome. 1047 00:57:30.520 --> 00:57:31.040 Karen. 1048 00:57:34.040 --> 00:57:35.080 Hey, is it? 1049 00:57:35.080 --> 00:57:36.680 I didn't see if there's another Karen. 1050 00:57:36.680 --> 00:57:37.840 So are you talking to me? 1051 00:57:37.840 --> 00:57:40.160 Oh, it's you, Karen, from OWL. 1052 00:57:40.160 --> 00:57:42.240 OK. 1053 00:57:42.240 --> 00:57:48.120 So it was just God's grace that I was asked out in person 1054 00:57:48.120 --> 00:57:50.160 by someone because I haven't gotten the courage to do 1055 00:57:50.160 --> 00:57:51.240 an online dating profile. 1056 00:57:51.240 --> 00:57:52.280 And now I really want to. 1057 00:57:52.360 --> 00:57:54.120 So praise the Lord. 1058 00:57:54.120 --> 00:57:55.920 He's like, come on, get out of that nest. 1059 00:57:55.920 --> 00:57:56.520 Let's do this. 1060 00:57:56.520 --> 00:57:57.680 Yeah. 1061 00:57:57.680 --> 00:58:00.200 Karen had a really good date, too. 1062 00:58:00.200 --> 00:58:01.720 Yeah. 1063 00:58:01.720 --> 00:58:05.120 Like, he even called the day before to confirm. 1064 00:58:05.120 --> 00:58:06.720 I was like, who is this? 1065 00:58:06.720 --> 00:58:08.520 A mature, masculine man? 1066 00:58:08.520 --> 00:58:10.880 What in the world? 1067 00:58:10.880 --> 00:58:12.240 That was so nice. 1068 00:58:12.240 --> 00:58:14.240 And he hasn't over-texted at all. 1069 00:58:14.240 --> 00:58:20.280 It's just been like, yeah, which is great. 1070 00:58:20.280 --> 00:58:23.480 So a few questions. 1071 00:58:23.480 --> 00:58:24.520 You addressed some of them. 1072 00:58:24.520 --> 00:58:29.080 But the whole, what are you looking for in a man? 1073 00:58:29.080 --> 00:58:32.280 And how's the dating scene going for you? 1074 00:58:32.280 --> 00:58:35.040 I tend to freeze up because I'm like, uh, 1075 00:58:35.040 --> 00:58:36.520 I haven't thought about that. 1076 00:58:36.520 --> 00:58:38.680 I don't know. 1077 00:58:38.680 --> 00:58:40.120 And I don't want to share too much. 1078 00:58:40.120 --> 00:58:44.600 So your voice is in the back of my head sometimes, 1079 00:58:44.600 --> 00:58:45.640 which is good. 1080 00:58:45.640 --> 00:58:49.560 Be like, is it OK to stay marriage-minded, masculine, 1081 00:58:49.720 --> 00:58:51.320 mature? 1082 00:58:51.320 --> 00:58:54.720 You know, that is a question that evens a tongue twister. 1083 00:58:54.720 --> 00:58:57.040 And so I learn language that I'll keep 1084 00:58:57.040 --> 00:58:59.840 using over and over and over. 1085 00:58:59.840 --> 00:59:03.400 And so when someone asks you, how's dating going for you? 1086 00:59:03.400 --> 00:59:05.000 It's like, well, can't be going too well. 1087 00:59:05.000 --> 00:59:07.400 I'm talking to you. 1088 00:59:07.400 --> 00:59:09.160 OK, I love that you said that, Ebony, 1089 00:59:09.160 --> 00:59:11.160 because I totally want to be snarky like that. 1090 00:59:11.160 --> 00:59:13.080 But I'm like, is that not feminine? 1091 00:59:13.080 --> 00:59:16.360 Can be like, well, I'm here. 1092 00:59:16.480 --> 00:59:17.720 I'm talking to you. 1093 00:59:17.720 --> 00:59:21.680 Just say, oh, it has its ups and downs, something like that. 1094 00:59:21.680 --> 00:59:23.840 You know, dating has its ups and downs. 1095 00:59:23.840 --> 00:59:25.640 It's a good way to get to know people. 1096 00:59:25.640 --> 00:59:27.160 So that's a really good response. 1097 00:59:27.160 --> 00:59:28.280 Ooh, I like that. 1098 00:59:28.280 --> 00:59:30.840 You're getting to know a lot of different people. 1099 00:59:30.840 --> 00:59:32.200 I love that. 1100 00:59:32.200 --> 00:59:33.000 Yeah? 1101 00:59:33.000 --> 00:59:35.240 And it doesn't show how active you are 1102 00:59:35.240 --> 00:59:37.680 or how not active you are. 1103 00:59:37.680 --> 00:59:38.800 Right. 1104 00:59:38.800 --> 00:59:42.680 And it doesn't say, I'm just, though nobody want me. 1105 00:59:42.680 --> 00:59:43.480 Right. 1106 00:59:43.480 --> 00:59:45.160 My phone is dry. 1107 00:59:45.160 --> 00:59:47.080 My prospects are dry. 1108 00:59:47.080 --> 00:59:48.400 Do you want to be my man? 1109 00:59:51.200 --> 00:59:53.160 No, no, not yet. 1110 00:59:53.160 --> 00:59:54.560 No. 1111 00:59:54.560 --> 00:59:57.760 It's ups and downs. 1112 00:59:57.760 --> 01:00:00.800 And then some, this didn't come up. 1113 01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.520 but especially at the kind of break of age I am, I'm 42, 1114 01:00:04.520 --> 01:00:09.520 a lot of times it does come up like, so do you want kids? 1115 01:00:09.980 --> 01:00:12.480 Like that comes up really early on 1116 01:00:13.440 --> 01:00:16.160 versus like in my 20s and 30s, 1117 01:00:16.160 --> 01:00:19.620 it didn't come up for months, you know? 1118 01:00:19.620 --> 01:00:22.780 But now it's like a deal breaker for a lot of people, 1119 01:00:23.800 --> 01:00:25.480 depending on your answer. 1120 01:00:25.480 --> 01:00:27.160 Yeah, and it can be nerve, 1121 01:00:27.160 --> 01:00:30.840 it can be, it can make you nervous when they ask a question 1122 01:00:30.840 --> 01:00:33.240 because you don't know how they're gonna respond. 1123 01:00:33.240 --> 01:00:34.760 And let's say you believe in God, 1124 01:00:34.760 --> 01:00:36.760 still believe in God for children. 1125 01:00:36.760 --> 01:00:38.320 And it'd be like, at your age, 1126 01:00:38.320 --> 01:00:39.860 like they probably would say something like, 1127 01:00:39.860 --> 01:00:42.080 you don't know, should I say yes, should I say no? 1128 01:00:42.080 --> 01:00:45.440 But if you still want children or you desire children, 1129 01:00:45.440 --> 01:00:46.720 they say, so do you want children? 1130 01:00:46.720 --> 01:00:49.880 You say, yeah, you know, I wouldn't mind children. 1131 01:00:49.880 --> 01:00:51.300 I wouldn't mind children. 1132 01:00:52.800 --> 01:00:54.720 Yeah, that's your answer. 1133 01:00:54.720 --> 01:00:58.120 And so what is important to remember at that point, 1134 01:00:58.120 --> 01:00:59.960 this is gonna be key, 1135 01:00:59.960 --> 01:01:04.840 that if that's not what they want, it's okay, 1136 01:01:04.840 --> 01:01:06.740 they're not the one for you. 1137 01:01:06.740 --> 01:01:08.080 Right, right. 1138 01:01:08.080 --> 01:01:11.680 Like if they say, oh, this is a no-go for me, 1139 01:01:11.680 --> 01:01:14.000 they need that space and they have their right to do that 1140 01:01:14.000 --> 01:01:15.720 because there are things that men say to you 1141 01:01:15.720 --> 01:01:17.680 and you'd be like, oh no, it's a no-go. 1142 01:01:17.680 --> 01:01:20.380 Like when you say, my faith is really important to me, 1143 01:01:21.400 --> 01:01:23.200 how do you express your faith? 1144 01:01:23.200 --> 01:01:27.640 And then like, well, one guy told me that he was 51 1145 01:01:27.640 --> 01:01:29.120 and he said he hadn't read his Bible 1146 01:01:29.120 --> 01:01:31.060 not one time in his whole life. 1147 01:01:31.960 --> 01:01:34.280 And you done told me everything I need to know. 1148 01:01:34.280 --> 01:01:35.120 Yeah. 1149 01:01:35.120 --> 01:01:39.800 And so I just said, oh, wow, that is interesting. 1150 01:01:39.800 --> 01:01:42.320 We moved that conversation right along. 1151 01:01:42.320 --> 01:01:45.320 Yeah, well, even with that, Ebony, 1152 01:01:45.320 --> 01:01:48.480 you know, it was a little like, oh, put a pin in that. 1153 01:01:48.480 --> 01:01:52.240 He said he was looking for someone to go to church with 1154 01:01:52.240 --> 01:01:55.200 and hold hands in church, someone who's religious, 1155 01:01:55.200 --> 01:01:58.760 but like just the way he was saying it, 1156 01:01:58.760 --> 01:01:59.920 I wasn't getting the connotation 1157 01:01:59.920 --> 01:02:02.160 that he actually has a relationship with God. 1158 01:02:02.160 --> 01:02:05.180 He just is like a good Iowan that goes to church 1159 01:02:05.180 --> 01:02:07.280 and wants to have someone that goes to church 1160 01:02:07.280 --> 01:02:08.280 and hold hands with. 1161 01:02:09.400 --> 01:02:12.800 But I know that's like, oh, okay, I need to discover more, 1162 01:02:12.800 --> 01:02:17.800 like hear him, because that's just like a one-off comment. 1163 01:02:18.660 --> 01:02:20.840 Yeah, maybe he has this desire 1164 01:02:20.840 --> 01:02:22.800 when he see a husband. 1165 01:02:22.800 --> 01:02:24.200 You know, as a woman, 1166 01:02:24.200 --> 01:02:26.240 when you see a family pull up to church 1167 01:02:26.240 --> 01:02:27.600 and the husband's getting the woman 1168 01:02:27.600 --> 01:02:29.080 and they walk up the stairs 1169 01:02:29.080 --> 01:02:31.560 and he drop the kid, got the child care. 1170 01:02:31.560 --> 01:02:33.320 He comes find her at the seat. 1171 01:02:33.320 --> 01:02:36.080 When they worship, they put their arm around each other 1172 01:02:36.080 --> 01:02:37.680 and just get back and forth. 1173 01:02:37.680 --> 01:02:38.520 And in your heart- 1174 01:02:38.520 --> 01:02:40.000 Those are the couples you don't sit behind 1175 01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:41.560 when you're in an emotional state. 1176 01:02:41.560 --> 01:02:42.880 I know. 1177 01:02:42.880 --> 01:02:44.520 And in your heart, you say, 1178 01:02:44.520 --> 01:02:47.360 I want a husband that I can stand with and worship. 1179 01:02:47.360 --> 01:02:48.180 Yeah. 1180 01:02:48.180 --> 01:02:49.020 That's what he just said to you. 1181 01:02:49.020 --> 01:02:52.220 A wife I can hold hands with and worship at church. 1182 01:02:52.220 --> 01:02:55.060 And so he just said what his desire was. 1183 01:02:55.060 --> 01:02:57.220 And so I can't say that there's a measurement 1184 01:02:57.220 --> 01:03:00.660 of who he is for Christ or his potential for growth 1185 01:03:00.660 --> 01:03:01.780 or any of those things. 1186 01:03:01.780 --> 01:03:03.180 He just told you his desire 1187 01:03:03.180 --> 01:03:04.880 and maybe he shared that desire with you 1188 01:03:04.880 --> 01:03:07.060 because he found out that women have that desire. 1189 01:03:07.060 --> 01:03:08.600 I don't know. 1190 01:03:08.600 --> 01:03:09.980 Yeah. 1191 01:03:09.980 --> 01:03:10.820 Yeah. 1192 01:03:14.000 --> 01:03:18.180 When do we start talking more about biblical processes? 1193 01:03:19.140 --> 01:03:22.980 I'm a little guarded on how deep I'm conversing 1194 01:03:22.980 --> 01:03:25.260 because of the program, 1195 01:03:25.260 --> 01:03:29.220 but at what point is that more towards the end of month two 1196 01:03:29.220 --> 01:03:33.080 that you dive more into what's your faith walk look like? 1197 01:03:33.980 --> 01:03:36.700 No, you can ask the person, 1198 01:03:36.700 --> 01:03:38.500 and if you're out to coffee with them, 1199 01:03:38.500 --> 01:03:41.620 you can say, my faith is really important to me. 1200 01:03:41.620 --> 01:03:44.300 Can you share with me your belief system? 1201 01:03:44.300 --> 01:03:45.740 It's not a private question. 1202 01:03:45.740 --> 01:03:47.380 So when we think about, 1203 01:03:47.380 --> 01:03:48.700 when we're talking about spiritual boundaries, 1204 01:03:48.700 --> 01:03:50.580 we're talking about praying with them, 1205 01:03:50.580 --> 01:03:51.980 reading scripture with them, 1206 01:03:51.980 --> 01:03:53.560 doing Bible study with them, 1207 01:03:53.560 --> 01:03:54.920 going to church together, 1208 01:03:54.920 --> 01:03:57.620 putting yourself in that position in place. 1209 01:03:57.620 --> 01:03:58.980 And because what it does, 1210 01:03:58.980 --> 01:04:00.780 it speeds things up and it makes you believe 1211 01:04:00.780 --> 01:04:03.580 that you know a person better than you do. 1212 01:04:03.580 --> 01:04:05.980 So it's keeping it at third party conversation 1213 01:04:05.980 --> 01:04:07.260 in the sense of like, 1214 01:04:07.260 --> 01:04:09.540 here's the object we're talking about, 1215 01:04:09.540 --> 01:04:12.660 which is faith versus sharing it. 1216 01:04:12.660 --> 01:04:14.360 Yeah, versus sharing it. 1217 01:04:14.360 --> 01:04:15.840 And another thing is, 1218 01:04:15.840 --> 01:04:18.200 when you are talking to someone about their faith 1219 01:04:18.200 --> 01:04:19.640 and you're evaluating them, 1220 01:04:19.640 --> 01:04:21.480 they can feel it and sense it. 1221 01:04:21.480 --> 01:04:22.320 Sure. 1222 01:04:22.320 --> 01:04:23.760 And so you wanna, 1223 01:04:23.760 --> 01:04:25.360 people talk about their faith, 1224 01:04:25.360 --> 01:04:26.920 it's gonna come up. 1225 01:04:26.920 --> 01:04:27.760 Yeah. 1226 01:04:27.760 --> 01:04:29.200 If they are, 1227 01:04:29.200 --> 01:04:31.440 you ladies know if Jesus, 1228 01:04:31.440 --> 01:04:32.280 you know, we can, 1229 01:04:32.280 --> 01:04:34.720 you can just start talking about Jesus at any point. 1230 01:04:34.720 --> 01:04:36.200 Like it just comes up, 1231 01:04:36.200 --> 01:04:37.400 or you could be saying, 1232 01:04:37.400 --> 01:04:38.520 I was really praying, 1233 01:04:38.520 --> 01:04:40.160 I asked the Lord to help me with this, 1234 01:04:40.160 --> 01:04:41.000 and he did it. 1235 01:04:41.000 --> 01:04:43.320 And that's not even a conversation about faith, 1236 01:04:43.320 --> 01:04:45.760 but you're just telling something. 1237 01:04:45.760 --> 01:04:47.600 I was talking to one of my coworkers today 1238 01:04:47.600 --> 01:04:49.400 and she's Muslim. 1239 01:04:49.400 --> 01:04:50.440 And I said, 1240 01:04:50.440 --> 01:04:51.280 oh girl, 1241 01:04:51.280 --> 01:04:53.600 and I just asked Jesus to help me. 1242 01:04:53.600 --> 01:04:54.420 And I said, 1243 01:04:54.420 --> 01:04:56.000 I prayed and I asked the Lord, 1244 01:04:56.000 --> 01:04:58.320 me, I'm not thinking about she's Muslim, 1245 01:04:58.320 --> 01:05:00.720 I'm not thinking about we have different religions. 1246 01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:01.880 I'm showing up as me. 1247 01:05:01.880 --> 01:05:03.720 And I wasn't like anybody else. 1248 01:05:03.720 --> 01:05:04.720 Like I prayed about it. 1249 01:05:04.720 --> 01:05:07.920 I asked the Lord to help just come in language for me. 1250 01:05:07.920 --> 01:05:10.800 And so that common language will come about. 1251 01:05:10.800 --> 01:05:11.640 That's beautiful. 1252 01:05:11.640 --> 01:05:13.400 That's a great example. 1253 01:05:13.400 --> 01:05:14.880 I have one more question. 1254 01:05:16.160 --> 01:05:18.960 I was noticing, tying it back to heart work, 1255 01:05:19.800 --> 01:05:22.120 if you envision a newspaper 1256 01:05:22.120 --> 01:05:23.840 and certain words are highlighted, 1257 01:05:23.840 --> 01:05:27.000 I was highlighting all the different comments 1258 01:05:27.000 --> 01:05:30.840 to my physical body when I was this whole. 1259 01:05:30.840 --> 01:05:32.440 And what was fascinating 1260 01:05:32.440 --> 01:05:34.800 is that when we're standing there ordering coffee, 1261 01:05:34.800 --> 01:05:37.760 I got there first, waited for him. 1262 01:05:37.760 --> 01:05:38.800 And after he got there 1263 01:05:38.800 --> 01:05:40.520 and we ordered coffee and everything, 1264 01:05:40.520 --> 01:05:43.360 the barista says to me in front of him, 1265 01:05:43.360 --> 01:05:44.560 I hope this isn't awkward. 1266 01:05:44.560 --> 01:05:47.840 And it was a female, you are so beautiful. 1267 01:05:49.040 --> 01:05:50.800 Which took me by surprise. 1268 01:05:50.800 --> 01:05:52.760 And I received it and thanked her. 1269 01:05:52.760 --> 01:05:54.480 And he made some sort of comment of like, 1270 01:05:54.520 --> 01:05:57.280 well, she's not the only one that thinks you're beautiful, 1271 01:05:57.280 --> 01:06:00.520 which is like charming and cute and all that. 1272 01:06:00.520 --> 01:06:03.520 But, and he has said in different, 1273 01:06:03.520 --> 01:06:05.080 cause we keep running into each other 1274 01:06:05.080 --> 01:06:06.800 at business networking events. 1275 01:06:06.800 --> 01:06:10.280 That's how we first connected and he saw me at church. 1276 01:06:10.280 --> 01:06:12.400 He'll say things like, you look cute by the way. 1277 01:06:12.400 --> 01:06:15.200 You know, just things that men normally say. 1278 01:06:15.200 --> 01:06:16.040 Yeah. 1279 01:06:16.040 --> 01:06:20.160 But I was realizing what happened inside of me 1280 01:06:20.160 --> 01:06:21.520 was a guard went up. 1281 01:06:22.440 --> 01:06:24.200 And I was like, what is that about? 1282 01:06:24.920 --> 01:06:27.520 And later when I was thinking and praying about it, 1283 01:06:27.520 --> 01:06:29.680 I was like, what, why? 1284 01:06:29.680 --> 01:06:33.120 And it goes back to other traumas and other relationships 1285 01:06:33.120 --> 01:06:36.640 of kind of what Nadine was saying is like, 1286 01:06:36.640 --> 01:06:39.960 okay, I need to wait to see if he's after my body. 1287 01:06:41.040 --> 01:06:44.320 If I can receive that comment as like an actual compliment, 1288 01:06:44.320 --> 01:06:45.640 like you don't know me. 1289 01:06:46.560 --> 01:06:49.640 Because I've had experience of like 1290 01:06:49.640 --> 01:06:52.080 only hearing comments about my body 1291 01:06:52.080 --> 01:06:55.960 and nobody actually wants to get to know me. 1292 01:06:55.960 --> 01:06:56.800 Yeah. 1293 01:06:56.800 --> 01:06:58.680 So like, what's a antidote? 1294 01:06:58.680 --> 01:07:00.560 Because like, I don't know him. 1295 01:07:00.560 --> 01:07:01.400 I can't put, 1296 01:07:01.400 --> 01:07:05.080 I shouldn't put like past experience onto him. 1297 01:07:05.080 --> 01:07:06.560 Yeah. 1298 01:07:06.560 --> 01:07:07.440 Well, right. 1299 01:07:07.440 --> 01:07:08.880 Stop doing that. 1300 01:07:08.880 --> 01:07:10.800 And you didn't know the barista, 1301 01:07:10.800 --> 01:07:13.640 but it didn't stop you from receiving her compliment. 1302 01:07:13.640 --> 01:07:16.400 And so what happens is you keep bringing, 1303 01:07:16.400 --> 01:07:20.400 some man is having to pay for your past experiences 1304 01:07:20.400 --> 01:07:21.600 and it's not right. 1305 01:07:22.120 --> 01:07:23.840 And so with you being a believer, 1306 01:07:23.840 --> 01:07:26.120 you can pour from a different well. 1307 01:07:26.120 --> 01:07:28.400 You don't have to keep pulling from your past 1308 01:07:28.400 --> 01:07:30.200 to feed it out to others. 1309 01:07:30.200 --> 01:07:32.520 Let people drink of the goodness 1310 01:07:32.520 --> 01:07:34.320 that lives on the inside of you. 1311 01:07:34.320 --> 01:07:37.200 Don't give them old, stale, moldy food 1312 01:07:37.200 --> 01:07:38.800 that is gonna turn their stomach 1313 01:07:38.800 --> 01:07:40.840 the same way it turns your stomach. 1314 01:07:40.840 --> 01:07:42.840 And so sometimes we have to realize the power 1315 01:07:42.840 --> 01:07:44.080 that lives on the inside of us. 1316 01:07:44.080 --> 01:07:46.920 And we don't have to pull from yesterday's news 1317 01:07:46.920 --> 01:07:48.440 that we have an active future 1318 01:07:48.440 --> 01:07:50.360 that's in front of us right now. 1319 01:07:50.400 --> 01:07:52.920 Because if a man says that you're cute, by the way, 1320 01:07:52.920 --> 01:07:55.600 he's not actually making sexual comments about your body. 1321 01:07:55.600 --> 01:07:58.560 He's actually talking about you in general. 1322 01:07:58.560 --> 01:08:01.200 And you're getting this wall to come up 1323 01:08:01.200 --> 01:08:03.280 because it's like, what do you want from me? 1324 01:08:03.280 --> 01:08:04.120 Yeah, exactly. 1325 01:08:04.120 --> 01:08:05.560 Are you gonna get something from me? 1326 01:08:05.560 --> 01:08:08.640 And so the best way to deal with that coming up 1327 01:08:08.640 --> 01:08:13.280 is when it comes up, then you tell it, no. 1328 01:08:14.640 --> 01:08:16.560 He doesn't want, okay. 1329 01:08:16.560 --> 01:08:17.399 So this is the thing, 1330 01:08:17.399 --> 01:08:18.840 and this is gonna tie into that. 1331 01:08:18.880 --> 01:08:20.920 What does somebody want from me? 1332 01:08:20.920 --> 01:08:22.520 Are you plotting on me? 1333 01:08:22.520 --> 01:08:25.319 People cannot get from you what you do not give. 1334 01:08:28.760 --> 01:08:31.359 They can't take advantage of you. 1335 01:08:31.359 --> 01:08:32.200 Yeah. 1336 01:08:32.200 --> 01:08:34.120 You can't be taken advantage of. 1337 01:08:34.120 --> 01:08:35.880 You're not in some vulnerable state. 1338 01:08:35.880 --> 01:08:39.000 You're not the one that does not operate under boundaries. 1339 01:08:39.000 --> 01:08:41.399 That's why you submit yourself to boundaries 1340 01:08:41.399 --> 01:08:43.600 to guard your heart. 1341 01:08:43.600 --> 01:08:47.080 It's called guarding your heart with all diligence. 1342 01:08:47.080 --> 01:08:49.359 That's what boundaries serve in your life. 1343 01:08:49.359 --> 01:08:50.960 They are your police. 1344 01:08:52.279 --> 01:08:55.800 Because no one can take advantage of you. 1345 01:08:55.800 --> 01:08:58.240 Have you ever offered somebody something before? 1346 01:08:58.240 --> 01:09:01.240 And they was like, oh no, I don't wanna take your chips. 1347 01:09:01.240 --> 01:09:03.240 You can't take nothing from me. 1348 01:09:03.240 --> 01:09:05.000 I offered it to you. 1349 01:09:07.000 --> 01:09:09.399 It's the weirdest thing people say. 1350 01:09:09.399 --> 01:09:11.279 I don't wanna take that from you. 1351 01:09:12.279 --> 01:09:13.359 It's my hat. 1352 01:09:13.359 --> 01:09:14.560 And I just told my friend, 1353 01:09:14.560 --> 01:09:16.560 like I went over her house today and I was like, 1354 01:09:17.040 --> 01:09:17.880 do you want some of these popcorn? 1355 01:09:17.880 --> 01:09:19.720 She's like, oh, I don't wanna take that from you. 1356 01:09:19.720 --> 01:09:21.439 I said, so no, you don't want any? 1357 01:09:23.439 --> 01:09:26.120 And then so she's used to me. 1358 01:09:26.120 --> 01:09:27.240 And so when I started eating the popcorn, 1359 01:09:27.240 --> 01:09:28.920 she's like, I wanted those popcorn. 1360 01:09:28.920 --> 01:09:31.840 I said, I ain't sure that you want them. 1361 01:09:31.840 --> 01:09:33.760 And you said, you don't wanna take something from me. 1362 01:09:33.760 --> 01:09:35.680 I told you, you can't take it. 1363 01:09:35.680 --> 01:09:37.040 No stealing girl. 1364 01:09:39.600 --> 01:09:42.000 That's the thing you have to keep running 1365 01:09:42.000 --> 01:09:43.760 in the fact that that's the program 1366 01:09:43.760 --> 01:09:45.720 that has to run in your mind 1367 01:09:45.760 --> 01:09:47.040 that no, good night, Yesenia. 1368 01:09:47.040 --> 01:09:49.720 Nobody's taking anything from you anymore. 1369 01:09:49.720 --> 01:09:50.880 You're not a victim. 1370 01:09:50.880 --> 01:09:52.720 You're not in that position anymore. 1371 01:09:52.720 --> 01:09:57.320 You know how to operate in wisdom, right? 1372 01:09:57.320 --> 01:10:00.160 You are not a person who does not have wisdom. 1373 01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.400 And so with that meaning, you're equipped. 1374 01:10:04.400 --> 01:10:07.640 And so when a man gives you a compliment, you receive it. 1375 01:10:07.640 --> 01:10:10.240 And when that alarm goes up, your nervous system goes up. 1376 01:10:10.240 --> 01:10:11.440 It doesn't mean you're wrong. 1377 01:10:11.440 --> 01:10:14.120 It's just a natural thing that your body is doing. 1378 01:10:14.120 --> 01:10:15.400 It keeps a score. 1379 01:10:15.400 --> 01:10:16.620 It has a memory. 1380 01:10:19.020 --> 01:10:22.760 You inform that memory of where you are and who you are. 1381 01:10:22.760 --> 01:10:25.500 And when you feel it come up, say, I am beautiful. 1382 01:10:26.800 --> 01:10:28.360 All he gave me was a compliment. 1383 01:10:28.360 --> 01:10:30.160 I'm receiving a compliment. 1384 01:10:31.320 --> 01:10:32.280 Thank you. 1385 01:10:32.280 --> 01:10:33.360 You're welcome. 1386 01:10:33.360 --> 01:10:34.700 Remap. 1387 01:10:34.700 --> 01:10:37.220 Yeah, I'm excited for your next date. 1388 01:10:39.360 --> 01:10:40.480 We'll see. 1389 01:10:40.480 --> 01:10:42.500 Yeah, one thing I want to tell you, 1390 01:10:42.500 --> 01:10:44.360 and I think I posted it on your post. 1391 01:10:46.780 --> 01:10:48.680 When you find someone and you feel like 1392 01:10:48.680 --> 01:10:50.720 this is really not gonna work, 1393 01:10:50.720 --> 01:10:52.880 but they are excellent person to be around, 1394 01:10:52.880 --> 01:10:54.960 like you enjoy them, but they have children, 1395 01:10:54.960 --> 01:10:57.400 you believe you don't really want that. 1396 01:10:57.440 --> 01:10:59.360 And they actually go on another date. 1397 01:10:59.360 --> 01:11:00.920 That's what helps you when you remember 1398 01:11:00.920 --> 01:11:02.120 that they're not your husband, 1399 01:11:02.120 --> 01:11:04.360 you're actually going on a date. 1400 01:11:04.360 --> 01:11:07.960 And that means they're easy date to go on. 1401 01:11:07.960 --> 01:11:10.400 They are, because I really don't care what he thinks. 1402 01:11:10.400 --> 01:11:11.480 You really don't care what he thinks. 1403 01:11:11.480 --> 01:11:12.960 You get to show up as yourself. 1404 01:11:12.960 --> 01:11:14.240 You've already made a decision. 1405 01:11:14.240 --> 01:11:17.240 So you get to show up fully in the more fully present 1406 01:11:17.240 --> 01:11:18.080 you are. 1407 01:11:18.080 --> 01:11:20.080 They show up more present. 1408 01:11:20.080 --> 01:11:21.440 And when they show up more present, 1409 01:11:21.440 --> 01:11:23.620 you get to see them for who they are. 1410 01:11:23.620 --> 01:11:25.880 You get to enjoy them for who they are. 1411 01:11:25.880 --> 01:11:27.440 And it really becomes low stake. 1412 01:11:27.440 --> 01:11:28.360 You know how when you're nervous 1413 01:11:28.360 --> 01:11:30.200 cause you really like a person? 1414 01:11:30.200 --> 01:11:32.800 So that's a whole nother person showing up. 1415 01:11:32.800 --> 01:11:34.120 But when you realize like, 1416 01:11:34.120 --> 01:11:35.920 I don't think we're really gonna work out. 1417 01:11:35.920 --> 01:11:37.120 And one other thing you could do 1418 01:11:37.120 --> 01:11:39.440 so that you won't carry any guilt because you know, 1419 01:11:39.440 --> 01:11:41.040 like I don't think this is going any further. 1420 01:11:41.040 --> 01:11:42.100 He really likes me. 1421 01:11:42.100 --> 01:11:44.080 You can offer to split the bill. 1422 01:11:44.080 --> 01:11:45.840 Yeah, I love that suggestion. 1423 01:11:45.840 --> 01:11:48.200 You don't keep letting them take on the bill. 1424 01:11:48.200 --> 01:11:49.440 The first time they'll pay the bill, 1425 01:11:49.440 --> 01:11:50.280 but the second time, 1426 01:11:50.280 --> 01:11:52.240 if you already know, you talk like we talked 1427 01:11:52.240 --> 01:11:54.960 and she's like, I had fun, it's a great person, 1428 01:11:54.960 --> 01:11:56.880 but I don't see us going any further. 1429 01:11:56.880 --> 01:11:57.920 Then when the bill comes, I say, 1430 01:11:57.920 --> 01:12:01.080 hey, we're gonna go what they call a Dutch tonight. 1431 01:12:01.080 --> 01:12:02.400 Go in Dutch. 1432 01:12:02.400 --> 01:12:03.680 Yep. 1433 01:12:03.680 --> 01:12:06.280 Yeah, and then if he says no, just say, okay. 1434 01:12:07.800 --> 01:12:08.680 Right? 1435 01:12:08.680 --> 01:12:11.440 And so, you know, 1436 01:12:11.440 --> 01:12:12.760 and then so by the third day, 1437 01:12:12.760 --> 01:12:16.320 that is when it's a yes till it's a no. 1438 01:12:16.320 --> 01:12:17.880 If you get up to the second day, 1439 01:12:17.880 --> 01:12:18.720 you really enjoy them. 1440 01:12:18.720 --> 01:12:21.440 You can say like, I really enjoy hanging out with you. 1441 01:12:21.440 --> 01:12:23.320 I think you're absolutely fun. 1442 01:12:23.320 --> 01:12:25.240 Now, this is on your second date. 1443 01:12:25.240 --> 01:12:27.920 You can say this, like, I think you're great. 1444 01:12:27.920 --> 01:12:31.000 I don't believe we're gonna go any further romantically 1445 01:12:32.240 --> 01:12:35.240 because, and you could tell your reasons, 1446 01:12:35.240 --> 01:12:36.440 not things about them like, 1447 01:12:36.440 --> 01:12:40.000 hey, I've never considered this setup 1448 01:12:40.000 --> 01:12:42.720 and it's not something that I want. 1449 01:12:42.720 --> 01:12:44.780 And so I thought it was only, you know, 1450 01:12:46.000 --> 01:12:47.920 thing that I wanna share with you. 1451 01:12:47.920 --> 01:12:49.640 If you would like to hang out again, it's fine, 1452 01:12:49.640 --> 01:12:51.520 but this is not a, I'm hanging on to you 1453 01:12:51.520 --> 01:12:53.200 or dragging you along. 1454 01:12:54.040 --> 01:12:55.480 I think that you're a great person 1455 01:12:55.480 --> 01:12:57.040 and not offering friendship. 1456 01:12:57.040 --> 01:12:58.920 If you wanna hang out again, 1457 01:12:58.920 --> 01:13:00.120 not saying I wanna be, you know, 1458 01:13:00.120 --> 01:13:00.960 that ain't what you're saying. 1459 01:13:00.960 --> 01:13:03.520 You're not saying you wanna be their friend. 1460 01:13:03.520 --> 01:13:05.680 If you wanna hang out again, 1461 01:13:05.680 --> 01:13:09.480 we can do that, but it won't be on romantic terms. 1462 01:13:10.800 --> 01:13:11.840 That's great language. 1463 01:13:11.840 --> 01:13:12.960 Thank you. 1464 01:13:12.960 --> 01:13:13.880 You're welcome. 1465 01:13:13.880 --> 01:13:15.920 And most men don't do it 1466 01:13:15.920 --> 01:13:17.320 because if they really like you, 1467 01:13:17.320 --> 01:13:18.200 they're not gonna do it. 1468 01:13:18.200 --> 01:13:20.360 Or they'll be like, if she go out with me, 1469 01:13:20.360 --> 01:13:21.260 she still want me. 1470 01:13:21.260 --> 01:13:22.380 I still have a chance. 1471 01:13:22.900 --> 01:13:24.020 That's men. 1472 01:13:24.020 --> 01:13:24.980 That's how they're designed. 1473 01:13:24.980 --> 01:13:26.140 They're wired that way. 1474 01:13:27.260 --> 01:13:28.460 Okay. 1475 01:13:28.460 --> 01:13:29.740 So true. 1476 01:13:29.740 --> 01:13:31.100 Yep. 1477 01:13:31.100 --> 01:13:31.940 All right. 1478 01:13:31.940 --> 01:13:32.900 Thanks. 1479 01:13:32.900 --> 01:13:33.860 You're welcome. 1480 01:13:33.860 --> 01:13:36.780 Rosanna, Rebecca, wherever you are, 1481 01:13:36.780 --> 01:13:37.860 and is that cold, 1482 01:13:37.860 --> 01:13:39.900 I would like for Texas to experience 1483 01:13:39.900 --> 01:13:42.260 just a little bit without ice. 1484 01:13:42.260 --> 01:13:44.500 But hey, Rosanna. 1485 01:13:44.500 --> 01:13:45.500 Oh, you're talking to the kiddos. 1486 01:13:45.500 --> 01:13:46.340 That's okay. 1487 01:13:46.340 --> 01:13:47.180 Go ahead. 1488 01:13:48.180 --> 01:13:49.500 Can you hear me? 1489 01:13:49.500 --> 01:13:50.340 Yes. 1490 01:13:50.340 --> 01:13:51.180 Okay. 1491 01:13:51.180 --> 01:13:52.000 Sorry. 1492 01:13:52.000 --> 01:13:52.840 I didn't know if it was my, 1493 01:13:52.840 --> 01:13:53.680 I heard you say my name, 1494 01:13:53.680 --> 01:13:54.500 but I wasn't sure if I was next. 1495 01:13:54.500 --> 01:13:55.340 Sorry. 1496 01:13:55.340 --> 01:13:56.180 Hi. 1497 01:13:56.180 --> 01:13:57.000 Hi. 1498 01:13:57.000 --> 01:13:57.840 Okay. 1499 01:13:57.840 --> 01:13:58.680 So I think you, 1500 01:13:58.680 --> 01:14:00.220 I don't know if Nadine is off now, 1501 01:14:00.220 --> 01:14:01.060 but it kind of, 1502 01:14:01.060 --> 01:14:01.900 I don't know her whole thing. 1503 01:14:01.900 --> 01:14:02.740 I might have to, 1504 01:14:02.740 --> 01:14:04.460 did she post some stuff on video 1505 01:14:04.460 --> 01:14:06.300 about a guy or other people? 1506 01:14:06.300 --> 01:14:07.140 Yeah, she did a video 1507 01:14:07.140 --> 01:14:09.860 and she did a post in the wingings. 1508 01:14:09.860 --> 01:14:10.700 Okay. 1509 01:14:10.700 --> 01:14:11.520 Okay. 1510 01:14:11.520 --> 01:14:12.360 Yeah. 1511 01:14:12.360 --> 01:14:13.180 Great. 1512 01:14:13.180 --> 01:14:14.020 I'm gonna check it out 1513 01:14:14.020 --> 01:14:15.580 because hers sounds a little similar to mine. 1514 01:14:15.580 --> 01:14:16.900 Hers sounds a little similar to mine. 1515 01:14:16.900 --> 01:14:19.020 So I've been on, 1516 01:14:19.020 --> 01:14:20.260 and I told some of the other girls, 1517 01:14:20.260 --> 01:14:22.900 like, I think I've done like the seven, right? 1518 01:14:23.780 --> 01:14:26.180 Can you guys put the fan back on please? 1519 01:14:26.180 --> 01:14:27.020 I need to, 1520 01:14:27.020 --> 01:14:30.520 I need you not to listen to me. 1521 01:14:30.520 --> 01:14:31.360 Sorry. 1522 01:14:31.360 --> 01:14:32.180 It's my kids. 1523 01:14:32.180 --> 01:14:33.500 Like, sorry. 1524 01:14:33.500 --> 01:14:35.500 I had like two, 1525 01:14:36.420 --> 01:14:38.100 no, I've had four phone calls 1526 01:14:38.100 --> 01:14:40.740 and then two of them turned into dates. 1527 01:14:40.740 --> 01:14:42.540 And then the other one's like pulling teeth 1528 01:14:42.540 --> 01:14:43.740 to talk to some of these men 1529 01:14:43.740 --> 01:14:44.860 and it was better on text. 1530 01:14:44.860 --> 01:14:45.700 And then I was like, 1531 01:14:45.700 --> 01:14:46.820 oh, thank goodness we talked on the phone 1532 01:14:46.820 --> 01:14:49.380 because going out with you would have been not fun. 1533 01:14:49.380 --> 01:14:50.220 And so, 1534 01:14:51.500 --> 01:14:52.340 anyway, 1535 01:14:53.460 --> 01:14:56.180 I went out on two dates. 1536 01:14:56.180 --> 01:14:57.020 I'm on the phone right now. 1537 01:14:57.020 --> 01:14:59.620 Let's try doing a little bit of oyster drinking. 1538 01:14:59.620 --> 01:15:00.460 Okay, it's okay. 1539 01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:01.000 It's okay. 1540 01:15:01.000 --> 01:15:02.000 It'll fix. 1541 01:15:02.000 --> 01:15:03.000 I'm sorry. 1542 01:15:03.000 --> 01:15:04.000 It's my youngest. 1543 01:15:04.000 --> 01:15:05.440 Close the door and turn it on. 1544 01:15:05.440 --> 01:15:10.080 So I went on with one guy, a really, really nice guy, and then I went out with another 1545 01:15:10.080 --> 01:15:12.640 guy within a couple days of each other. 1546 01:15:12.640 --> 01:15:16.320 Well, I just feel like I clicked a little bit more with one, even though the other one 1547 01:15:16.320 --> 01:15:18.320 was really nice too. 1548 01:15:18.320 --> 01:15:21.080 But then I went out on a second date with the other guy. 1549 01:15:21.080 --> 01:15:26.560 And during this time, however, I had really rough stuff going on with work, like very 1550 01:15:26.560 --> 01:15:28.960 bad stuff. 1551 01:15:28.960 --> 01:15:40.000 And it got me in a whirlwind of certain things. 1552 01:15:40.000 --> 01:15:43.120 And so this one guy, the other one I was talking to, he was like, oh, I'd love to be able to 1553 01:15:43.120 --> 01:15:44.920 hear about it through text. 1554 01:15:44.920 --> 01:15:49.240 But then I just noticed I was veering off more towards the other guy and wanting to 1555 01:15:49.240 --> 01:15:51.560 share somewhat a little bit more. 1556 01:15:51.560 --> 01:15:55.440 And then so anyway, it's been almost like a month and a half. 1557 01:15:55.440 --> 01:15:57.740 That's when we met on Facebook dating. 1558 01:15:57.740 --> 01:16:02.980 And so I think I'm trying to understand, I'm like, oh my goodness, this is what it 1559 01:16:02.980 --> 01:16:03.980 feels like to be pursued. 1560 01:16:03.980 --> 01:16:07.140 He'll call me, he's like, hey, when can I see you again? 1561 01:16:07.140 --> 01:16:08.860 Or when can we talk again? 1562 01:16:08.860 --> 01:16:14.700 Because we talk on the phone a couple nights a week now and he'll text me. 1563 01:16:14.700 --> 01:16:17.700 And he's going through some stuff too that's difficult. 1564 01:16:17.700 --> 01:16:18.860 And it's just fun. 1565 01:16:18.860 --> 01:16:22.660 I think at times when we've hung out or when we've left, he's always like, I've really 1566 01:16:22.660 --> 01:16:24.100 enjoyed talking to you. 1567 01:16:24.100 --> 01:16:29.300 And this guy could be such a great, I'm loving this friendship that we're developing. 1568 01:16:29.300 --> 01:16:32.540 But there's obviously some, I'm guarded. 1569 01:16:32.540 --> 01:16:40.820 So when you said that, the guarded or overprotected type things, please put the fan on. 1570 01:16:40.820 --> 01:16:41.820 And he can tell. 1571 01:16:41.820 --> 01:16:45.900 But I just know for myself, just because I haven't been in the dating world for 20 years. 1572 01:16:45.900 --> 01:16:49.900 And I'm just like, and I'm trying, I love your advice of they're not your husband, none 1573 01:16:49.900 --> 01:16:50.900 of these guys. 1574 01:16:50.900 --> 01:16:52.620 And so it's very nice that I'm doing that. 1575 01:16:52.620 --> 01:16:55.900 But I don't know if the scarcity mindset of certain things come on because I still 1576 01:16:55.900 --> 01:16:58.180 have Bumble and Facebook dating, but they are on pause. 1577 01:16:58.180 --> 01:16:59.580 I'm not even talking to anybody. 1578 01:16:59.580 --> 01:17:01.020 I was too stressed out with work. 1579 01:17:01.020 --> 01:17:05.160 And I actually told the other guy, hey, you've been really great, but I, I'm not in a place 1580 01:17:05.160 --> 01:17:11.580 right now to be able to, to pursue anything more right now. 1581 01:17:11.580 --> 01:17:12.700 You're a fantastic blah, blah, blah. 1582 01:17:12.700 --> 01:17:14.040 And he received it fine. 1583 01:17:14.040 --> 01:17:15.740 I didn't do it with this other guy though. 1584 01:17:15.740 --> 01:17:19.940 Like I don't have a problem talking to him. 1585 01:17:19.940 --> 01:17:24.300 And there's, and there's occasional friends, guy friends that I have that I met on match 1586 01:17:24.300 --> 01:17:25.300 a year ago. 1587 01:17:25.300 --> 01:17:27.540 And then they found me on Facebook dating and they picked up the conversation. 1588 01:17:27.540 --> 01:17:29.140 I don't mind chatting. 1589 01:17:29.140 --> 01:17:31.340 I don't actually mind going out for coffee with them. 1590 01:17:31.340 --> 01:17:32.340 You know what I mean? 1591 01:17:32.340 --> 01:17:38.460 But like, it's like, he's like this other guy that I've rematched with a year or whatever. 1592 01:17:38.460 --> 01:17:40.140 He's like, Oh, I'd love to be able to talk again. 1593 01:17:40.140 --> 01:17:47.060 But in my brain, I'm like, yeah, but I want to talk to Noah. 1594 01:17:47.060 --> 01:17:48.060 So I'm really excited. 1595 01:17:48.060 --> 01:17:51.060 And like, it's just really cool when he's like, Hey, you looked phenomenal in that photo 1596 01:17:51.060 --> 01:17:52.060 you sent me. 1597 01:17:52.060 --> 01:17:54.300 Or, you know, this is that like, we exchange real numbers. 1598 01:17:54.300 --> 01:17:59.140 Like it's, I'm like, Oh my God. 1599 01:17:59.140 --> 01:18:02.340 So I'm just really trying to keep it slow. 1600 01:18:02.340 --> 01:18:08.140 My, I was very open with my children that I'm starting to date and I just, I'm really 1601 01:18:08.140 --> 01:18:09.140 having fun. 1602 01:18:09.140 --> 01:18:13.100 I guess I'm just trying to like, I think Nadine hit the nail on the head, like, am I pursuing 1603 01:18:13.100 --> 01:18:14.100 this enough? 1604 01:18:14.100 --> 01:18:15.100 Am I doing this right? 1605 01:18:15.100 --> 01:18:16.100 I don't know where I'm going to go. 1606 01:18:16.100 --> 01:18:19.580 But I love that you said you gave us freedom, like, get to know the person. 1607 01:18:19.580 --> 01:18:20.580 That's why we're doing this. 1608 01:18:20.580 --> 01:18:23.420 And I'm like, but then I'm like, did I go off on enough dates? 1609 01:18:23.420 --> 01:18:25.540 Or like, these guys like me on Bumble. 1610 01:18:25.540 --> 01:18:29.580 And but like, honestly, I'm too overextended with a lot of stuff. 1611 01:18:29.580 --> 01:18:35.100 And it's not like, but it's okay that my attention is drawn to this man. 1612 01:18:35.100 --> 01:18:39.940 And like, he's pursuing me and like, I'm just liking it. 1613 01:18:39.940 --> 01:18:40.940 You know what I mean? 1614 01:18:40.940 --> 01:18:50.020 Like, I was like, he's like, so I'd like to see you in a couple days, Mike. 1615 01:18:50.020 --> 01:18:51.020 Like, why? 1616 01:18:51.020 --> 01:18:56.220 Why is it so new to me that I'm because you know, let me tell you, can I tell you something? 1617 01:18:56.220 --> 01:18:57.220 I'm sorry. 1618 01:18:57.220 --> 01:18:58.220 This is what I was gonna say. 1619 01:18:58.220 --> 01:18:59.220 Yeah. 1620 01:18:59.220 --> 01:19:00.220 So I was talking to a guy from high school once back in the day. 1621 01:19:00.220 --> 01:19:05.220 He took me out on five dates, but in the beginning, the first four weeks or the first month, it 1622 01:19:05.220 --> 01:19:06.220 was really fun. 1623 01:19:06.220 --> 01:19:10.260 Like we went on a date within a week of one another, the first two dates, and then two 1624 01:19:10.580 --> 01:19:13.180 weeks later, we went on and then three weeks later, another and then like, he's like, hey, 1625 01:19:13.180 --> 01:19:14.180 football season's about to start. 1626 01:19:14.180 --> 01:19:15.180 I'm a football coach, blah, blah, blah. 1627 01:19:15.180 --> 01:19:16.180 It's really busy. 1628 01:19:16.180 --> 01:19:17.620 So it's gonna be hard for us to hang out. 1629 01:19:17.620 --> 01:19:18.620 That's fine. 1630 01:19:18.620 --> 01:19:19.620 And he was right. 1631 01:19:19.620 --> 01:19:20.620 It was a couple months. 1632 01:19:20.620 --> 01:19:21.620 We did that. 1633 01:19:21.620 --> 01:19:22.940 And then another time we went out. 1634 01:19:22.940 --> 01:19:26.020 Okay, so we went out in January. 1635 01:19:26.020 --> 01:19:28.100 And I did not hear from him after the date. 1636 01:19:28.100 --> 01:19:32.300 We like we sent a text afterward, whatever, it had been a whole month while at this point, 1637 01:19:32.300 --> 01:19:36.220 I had already been talking to Noah, I already went on three dates, I talked to four dudes, 1638 01:19:36.220 --> 01:19:37.420 like all this stuff. 1639 01:19:37.420 --> 01:19:42.460 And he this dude ends up popping up on my Facebook feed of a suggestion for a date. 1640 01:19:42.460 --> 01:19:44.260 And I'm like, get out of town. 1641 01:19:44.260 --> 01:19:49.820 So it's been a month since that same day, he writes me, he's like, Hey, Rosie, I just 1642 01:19:49.820 --> 01:19:50.820 want to update you. 1643 01:19:50.820 --> 01:19:51.820 I'm doing really well in school. 1644 01:19:51.820 --> 01:19:54.540 And I'm like, Oh, I'm so I'm not surprised, Kevin. 1645 01:19:54.540 --> 01:19:55.540 That's great. 1646 01:19:55.540 --> 01:19:56.760 And then he wrote like, How are you? 1647 01:19:56.760 --> 01:19:59.900 And I looked at and I'm like, I'll answer him later, girl. 1648 01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.700 and answer him until nine hours later. 1649 01:20:01.700 --> 01:20:04.380 Because I wasn't, you know? 1650 01:20:04.380 --> 01:20:07.740 And the thing is, is like, he was the one that, 1651 01:20:07.740 --> 01:20:09.780 at that point, I had only, that was the only interest, 1652 01:20:09.780 --> 01:20:11.260 because I wasn't on any apps. 1653 01:20:11.260 --> 01:20:15.180 So I was tolerating not being spoken to or texted 1654 01:20:15.180 --> 01:20:17.900 nine days, two weeks, all that stuff. 1655 01:20:17.900 --> 01:20:20.220 And I'm like, oh, he's just busy, blah, blah, blah, blah. 1656 01:20:20.220 --> 01:20:21.780 And somebody was like, at this age, 1657 01:20:21.780 --> 01:20:23.180 we all know exactly what we're doing. 1658 01:20:23.180 --> 01:20:24.380 And like, you don't want to believe like, 1659 01:20:24.380 --> 01:20:25.380 oh, maybe he really is. 1660 01:20:25.380 --> 01:20:28.660 Like, because he seems like he's interested, right? 1661 01:20:28.680 --> 01:20:32.200 Can I tell you, like, after talking, 1662 01:20:32.200 --> 01:20:34.240 I'm talking with Noah, and I'm like, 1663 01:20:34.240 --> 01:20:36.360 this guy wants to see me, he's texting me, 1664 01:20:36.360 --> 01:20:38.160 he's calling me, he's like, hey, when can we talk again? 1665 01:20:38.160 --> 01:20:39.360 I'd like to see you in the next couple days. 1666 01:20:39.360 --> 01:20:40.940 And then we see each other, and he's like, 1667 01:20:40.940 --> 01:20:42.140 hey, so when I'm gonna see you again? 1668 01:20:42.140 --> 01:20:43.760 I'm like, oh my goodness. 1669 01:20:46.200 --> 01:20:47.420 Why am I so nervous? 1670 01:20:47.420 --> 01:20:48.820 Like, why? 1671 01:20:48.820 --> 01:20:50.040 Not that I don't think I'm dope, 1672 01:20:50.040 --> 01:20:52.600 because there are days that I feel more dope than others. 1673 01:20:52.600 --> 01:20:53.880 And I'm ovulating, so I probably think 1674 01:20:53.880 --> 01:20:55.280 I'm real dope right now, but like. 1675 01:20:55.280 --> 01:20:56.100 You know? 1676 01:21:01.540 --> 01:21:04.580 Sometimes when you ovulate, you got to just not talk 1677 01:21:04.580 --> 01:21:08.860 to nobody, you got to be like, look, let's talk next week. 1678 01:21:11.100 --> 01:21:12.700 We can't hang out. 1679 01:21:12.700 --> 01:21:14.820 I just, I don't know why I should, 1680 01:21:14.820 --> 01:21:16.540 there shouldn't be a disbelief of why this man 1681 01:21:16.540 --> 01:21:17.520 wouldn't want to talk to me. 1682 01:21:17.520 --> 01:21:20.460 Like, why is it like some weeks I'm so good on myself, 1683 01:21:20.460 --> 01:21:21.860 and I'm right there in the hard work, 1684 01:21:21.860 --> 01:21:25.100 I'm there with the mind, the negative mindset is gone, 1685 01:21:25.920 --> 01:21:28.800 and then this man says, he's like, of course, 1686 01:21:28.800 --> 01:21:30.200 he had a whole list of questions, he went, 1687 01:21:30.200 --> 01:21:31.840 he's like, there's so much I want to know about you, 1688 01:21:31.840 --> 01:21:35.000 and I was just like, okay, I want someone 1689 01:21:35.000 --> 01:21:37.260 to be curious about me, I'm like an investigative reporter 1690 01:21:37.260 --> 01:21:38.600 when I'm with people, men and women, 1691 01:21:38.600 --> 01:21:43.400 I'm like, all that stuff, and he even wrote notes, 1692 01:21:43.400 --> 01:21:44.840 and he was just writing stuff down, 1693 01:21:44.840 --> 01:21:45.680 he's like, I don't want to forget, 1694 01:21:45.680 --> 01:21:47.600 I want to know what you, and I'm just like, 1695 01:21:47.600 --> 01:21:48.800 are you for real? 1696 01:21:48.800 --> 01:21:50.240 Like, who are you? 1697 01:21:50.240 --> 01:21:52.680 And it's just intentional, and I see it, 1698 01:21:52.700 --> 01:21:56.020 versus this other guy, who I don't get to hear from a month, 1699 01:21:56.020 --> 01:21:59.460 and then he sees me, I pop up on his feed of like Facebook, 1700 01:21:59.460 --> 01:22:02.540 so I respond, I'm like, oh, hey, Kevin, I'm doing well, 1701 01:22:02.540 --> 01:22:06.020 I'm fantastic, actually, I said, I'm fantastic, 1702 01:22:06.020 --> 01:22:06.860 life is great. 1703 01:22:06.860 --> 01:22:07.900 Man in blue has come along. 1704 01:22:07.900 --> 01:22:10.980 Yes, I did, and then I was like, how are you? 1705 01:22:10.980 --> 01:22:13.420 And he was like, oh, I'm debating on whether I should bulk 1706 01:22:13.420 --> 01:22:15.900 or cut with weightlifting, and he put LOL, 1707 01:22:15.900 --> 01:22:20.900 and I'm like, LOL, and I haven't talked to him since, 1708 01:22:21.040 --> 01:22:25.480 I was like, I'm occupied, but I'm like in this, 1709 01:22:26.560 --> 01:22:28.360 I don't know, I don't even know what I'm trying to say, 1710 01:22:28.360 --> 01:22:30.640 I am seeing the difference with being pursued, 1711 01:22:30.640 --> 01:22:34.240 versus tolerating some garbage, 1712 01:22:34.240 --> 01:22:35.680 like you don't want to talk to me for two weeks, 1713 01:22:35.680 --> 01:22:38.320 even though he was so nice, but I was like, 1714 01:22:38.320 --> 01:22:40.680 I was tolerating that little bit, little bit, 1715 01:22:40.680 --> 01:22:43.000 and guess who's looking at my stories now? 1716 01:22:43.000 --> 01:22:45.800 Kevin, from high school, he's looking at my stories now, 1717 01:22:45.800 --> 01:22:47.600 he's doing this, I'm like, eh-eh-eh. 1718 01:22:48.040 --> 01:22:48.880 What? 1719 01:22:50.180 --> 01:22:53.620 Well, you know, Rosanne, this is the thing we say, 1720 01:22:53.620 --> 01:22:55.700 until you experience it, this is true, 1721 01:22:55.700 --> 01:22:57.740 you're gonna know it once you experience it, 1722 01:22:57.740 --> 01:23:00.900 when a man wants you, you're gonna know about it. 1723 01:23:00.900 --> 01:23:01.740 Girl, girl! 1724 01:23:01.740 --> 01:23:06.740 You will know, and it only takes for one to do it, 1725 01:23:07.220 --> 01:23:10.260 and you will know that when a man wants you, 1726 01:23:10.260 --> 01:23:11.660 you're gonna know about it. 1727 01:23:11.660 --> 01:23:12.500 Yes. 1728 01:23:12.500 --> 01:23:14.500 Because that's just the nature of men. 1729 01:23:14.500 --> 01:23:15.340 Okay, yes. 1730 01:23:16.320 --> 01:23:19.120 It's nothing wrong with you, per se, 1731 01:23:19.120 --> 01:23:20.880 when you feel like you're this and that, 1732 01:23:20.880 --> 01:23:23.140 and they say it, and then sometimes you don't feel like it, 1733 01:23:23.140 --> 01:23:26.200 or you question yourself, why is he so into me? 1734 01:23:26.200 --> 01:23:27.800 Or what is it about me? 1735 01:23:29.160 --> 01:23:31.200 And it's not about... 1736 01:23:33.760 --> 01:23:36.560 I think that sometimes it's best 1737 01:23:36.560 --> 01:23:38.980 to put stuff in perspective. 1738 01:23:38.980 --> 01:23:41.560 It's not that he's so into you, 1739 01:23:41.560 --> 01:23:43.480 though he wants to get to know you, 1740 01:23:43.500 --> 01:23:47.420 but this is how he shows up, okay? 1741 01:23:47.420 --> 01:23:49.160 That's who he is, 1742 01:23:49.160 --> 01:23:51.780 this is how he's choosing to show up with you. 1743 01:23:52.940 --> 01:23:56.340 So then that cuts out if I'm worthy, or if I'm good enough, 1744 01:23:56.340 --> 01:23:58.720 or let me be something back for him. 1745 01:23:58.720 --> 01:24:00.340 That gives it back to him, 1746 01:24:00.340 --> 01:24:02.340 and this is how he's choosing to show up, 1747 01:24:02.340 --> 01:24:04.820 and apparently when he really wants to get to know someone, 1748 01:24:04.820 --> 01:24:06.660 he behaves this way. 1749 01:24:06.660 --> 01:24:10.060 That keeps you grounded, and you can feel free 1750 01:24:10.060 --> 01:24:12.480 in your feminine order to lean into it. 1751 01:24:14.340 --> 01:24:18.260 And as long as you submit yourself 1752 01:24:18.260 --> 01:24:20.260 to the order that you set in your boundaries, 1753 01:24:20.260 --> 01:24:21.840 you don't have a need to fear, 1754 01:24:21.840 --> 01:24:24.060 because you can't just float away with this stuff. 1755 01:24:24.060 --> 01:24:27.380 I'm telling you, it feels so, it's like, this ain't perfect, 1756 01:24:27.380 --> 01:24:29.780 but it's nothing, enjoy and embrace it, 1757 01:24:29.780 --> 01:24:32.060 and then Rosanna, you have to consider also 1758 01:24:32.060 --> 01:24:34.140 what your past looked like and the deficit 1759 01:24:34.140 --> 01:24:37.500 that you were living in with your late spouse, 1760 01:24:37.500 --> 01:24:40.180 and so you were starved of that, 1761 01:24:40.180 --> 01:24:41.940 and so a lot of that is playing back and forth, 1762 01:24:41.960 --> 01:24:43.960 and maybe even your late husband 1763 01:24:43.960 --> 01:24:45.640 was a little hopscotch with you. 1764 01:24:45.640 --> 01:24:48.060 Sometimes he made you feel valuable and important, 1765 01:24:48.060 --> 01:24:50.360 and the other times he drained you 1766 01:24:50.360 --> 01:24:52.120 and made you feel like you didn't matter, 1767 01:24:52.120 --> 01:24:53.880 and so those are just the rhythms 1768 01:24:53.880 --> 01:24:55.520 of the nervous system sometimes, 1769 01:24:55.520 --> 01:24:58.720 the rhythm of memories and things of such sorts, 1770 01:24:58.720 --> 01:24:59.700 and so don't. 1771 01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.960 give yourself grace and you just keep moving. And there are going to be some times you don't feel 1772 01:25:06.960 --> 01:25:12.080 like something, but he's choosing to show up that way. You've already chosen yourself. 1773 01:25:13.840 --> 01:25:18.400 That's beautiful to hear. I have chosen myself. I invested in this because I was like, 1774 01:25:18.400 --> 01:25:22.640 I'm worth it. And I'm learning to invest in myself. I went to a perfumery yesterday 1775 01:25:23.520 --> 01:25:27.840 a couple of days ago and I bought two expensive perfumes for me because it made me feel so 1776 01:25:28.400 --> 01:25:31.920 good. And baby girl hasn't been doing that. You know what I'm saying? I'm finally getting 1777 01:25:31.920 --> 01:25:38.720 haircuts more often. There's years, decades of deficit of always putting myself at the last 1778 01:25:39.520 --> 01:25:44.720 and I don't want to do that anymore. And I'm proud of myself for doing this. So yeah, 1779 01:25:44.720 --> 01:25:48.880 it is good. And it's not vanity to think I'm beautiful. It's not vanity to want to invest 1780 01:25:48.880 --> 01:25:54.400 in myself because I want to be there for my babies too. But I've been there for my babies, 1781 01:25:54.400 --> 01:25:58.000 but I need to be here for this baby right here. Baby girl wants to be taken care of. 1782 01:25:58.000 --> 01:26:02.000 So I need to take care of myself the way I want it so that when that man does come, 1783 01:26:04.400 --> 01:26:08.400 or in that dating experience, I'm like, nah, thank you. You know what I mean? I treat myself 1784 01:26:08.400 --> 01:26:12.000 better than you're treating me, which I'm just now realizing with this other dude, 1785 01:26:13.440 --> 01:26:17.600 and really small. And then I'll get off. So this guy that I met when I was talking to a couple of 1786 01:26:17.600 --> 01:26:23.120 girlfriends, he ended up being a childhood friend and a high school friend of two women that I knew 1787 01:26:23.120 --> 01:26:26.480 when I was like, Oh, it's this guy. No, they're like, and I showed the photo. They're like, 1788 01:26:28.320 --> 01:26:34.800 and I'll say, Oh, okay. And I actually ended up reconnecting somebody who's like a sister to him 1789 01:26:34.800 --> 01:26:39.040 when they were younger during like, just really difficult times. They not that they lost, they 1790 01:26:39.040 --> 01:26:44.320 always like had each other in each other's minds, but life happens. Right. And because I showed her, 1791 01:26:44.320 --> 01:26:49.040 she's like, that was like, he's like a brother to me. I was able to reconnect them. He was like, 1792 01:26:49.360 --> 01:26:55.200 Oh, wow. And he was just like, that was, it was a blessing. Nothing romantic. He was just like, 1793 01:26:55.200 --> 01:27:00.000 that's like my baby sister. Thank you. I can't believe we were. Wow. And I was like, okay, 1794 01:27:00.000 --> 01:27:06.240 Lauren, that's, I was like, well, let it be the, all the plan. Right. And so I'm excited. I thought 1795 01:27:06.240 --> 01:27:10.080 that that was really beautiful. She goes to church with me and we reconnected because I knew her from 1796 01:27:10.080 --> 01:27:13.360 middle school and high school. We hadn't seen each other in like what, 15, 20 years. And then 1797 01:27:13.360 --> 01:27:19.920 we reconnected, uh, at church and now she's reconnected with, uh, and they both reconnected 1798 01:27:19.920 --> 01:27:24.400 now because of me, like, I feel like God just really orchestrated a lot of stuff. So I think 1799 01:27:24.400 --> 01:27:28.240 it's really cool. Like also the distance of like, Oh, somebody knew, but she wouldn't have thought 1800 01:27:28.240 --> 01:27:32.720 about this guy. Right. Like, Oh, Hey Ro, cause they hadn't talked for a long time. So I think 1801 01:27:32.720 --> 01:27:38.080 it's really, it's really fun how there's there's connections. Yeah. I think dating community is 1802 01:27:38.080 --> 01:27:42.480 always fun when somebody knows somebody to know somebody it's really nice. You actually feel safer 1803 01:27:42.480 --> 01:27:48.400 too. I agree. I agree. So thank you so much. You're welcome. We're excited. Thanks. And ladies, 1804 01:27:48.400 --> 01:27:56.960 you guys are all so funny. We all like Noah at this point. Oh, Noah. All right. All right. 1805 01:27:58.160 --> 01:28:01.440 I'll be quiet now. All right. We're happy for you, Jasmine. 1806 01:28:04.320 --> 01:28:10.160 Uh, first off Rosanna, you are dope. I don't know where you're at in the world right now, 1807 01:28:10.160 --> 01:28:16.400 but I would totally hang out with you girl. I just had, he had me laughing. I'm in Ohio. 1808 01:28:16.400 --> 01:28:20.960 You're sweet. Yeah. I was like, she's fun. We should hang out. Totally. 1809 01:28:24.560 --> 01:28:30.960 I don't know where you're at, but okay. Ebony. Um, this is my first time actually. 1810 01:28:32.080 --> 01:28:36.880 I'm Jasmine. Nice to meet you. I'm from California. Um, my question to you is 1811 01:28:37.280 --> 01:28:42.160 where do we go to like do this matchmaking where we're actually someone's matching me with someone 1812 01:28:42.160 --> 01:28:48.560 else because I'm not doing the dating apps. Every time I go on, God's like, you need to get off of 1813 01:28:48.560 --> 01:28:53.360 this. So he's like specifically telling me personally, like you, you need to get off. So, 1814 01:28:53.360 --> 01:28:59.920 um, I am being bold and I'm asking people, do you know anyone that's on fire for the Lord, 1815 01:29:00.880 --> 01:29:07.680 you know, obedient to God, um, that's single because I meet people all the time, but they're 1816 01:29:07.680 --> 01:29:15.200 either one way too older. Like I'm not interested. They're too young, still not interested or they 1817 01:29:15.200 --> 01:29:20.800 don't know Jesus. So I'm like, and I don't want to go on a date for the sake of going on a date 1818 01:29:20.800 --> 01:29:26.160 because I feel like it's just wasting my time. And I don't have that. I want to be intentional 1819 01:29:26.160 --> 01:29:32.240 and like get to know someone that's actually like I'm working towards something or at least 1820 01:29:32.240 --> 01:29:38.480 I don't even think I would like to say friendship. Like obviously we build a friendship before you 1821 01:29:38.480 --> 01:29:43.600 start dating, but there's like people that like, you know, you start off as friends and I'm just 1822 01:29:43.600 --> 01:29:48.960 not interested. And they think that eventually I'm going to like be interested and it's not 1823 01:29:48.960 --> 01:29:53.680 going to happen. Like, and then it's weird afterwards. Like they make it uncomfortable. 1824 01:29:53.680 --> 01:29:58.640 Yeah. Like now I don't want to be your friend anymore. Yeah. 1825 01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.160 I'm going to let me answer that question. It's 8 30. So ladies, you're free to go, 1826 01:30:04.160 --> 01:30:06.960 but I'm going to read the activation. Then I'm going to answer your question. I put the 1827 01:30:06.960 --> 01:30:13.360 activation in the chat. And, uh, what we're going to do is you're going to do a non-negotiable task 1828 01:30:13.360 --> 01:30:19.440 list list. Um, and this week you're going to practice smiling intentionally once a day in 1829 01:30:19.440 --> 01:30:25.840 public, non-negotiable. If you don't smile a lot, you don't realize how much you don't smile. 1830 01:30:25.840 --> 01:30:31.040 I want to amp it up and smile at a man, make some eye contact. So somebody can ask you for 1831 01:30:31.040 --> 01:30:36.800 your number. You need to look available. All right. Receive help or kindness at least once. 1832 01:30:37.920 --> 01:30:44.480 Okay. Or pause before reacting instead of rushing. Say thank you without minimizing yourself. 1833 01:30:45.760 --> 01:30:51.200 Okay. Um, and then optional where something that makes you feel comfortable and confident, 1834 01:30:51.200 --> 01:30:58.240 not for approval, but just for you. Um, and I think I do that real often. Sometimes I put 1835 01:30:58.240 --> 01:31:03.520 earrings on that don't match what I'm wearing because they, those earrings make me happy. 1836 01:31:04.400 --> 01:31:09.200 Um, I feel good in them. So I don't care that it doesn't match because it's about me when I make 1837 01:31:09.200 --> 01:31:13.760 that decision. And so that's our activation. Um, and you don't have to stick around. I'm 1838 01:31:13.760 --> 01:31:18.800 going to answer Jasmine very quickly, and then we're going to wrap it up. And so Jasmine, 1839 01:31:18.800 --> 01:31:26.400 the matchmaking that you're talking about happens in phase three in Love Story Accelerator. Um, 1840 01:31:26.400 --> 01:31:33.760 and we have, uh, what do they call it? Like a coed community there. Okay. Second thing is 1841 01:31:34.320 --> 01:31:38.560 in this program, we believe in dating for discovery. So you're never wasting your time. 1842 01:31:39.280 --> 01:31:45.360 Okay. Cause it just don't, you can't waste your time because you don't know Jasmine 1843 01:31:46.320 --> 01:31:53.040 outside of your head about who you are, but when you show up dating people and you become, 1844 01:31:53.040 --> 01:31:57.360 you really want to get to know them. You also get to practice when they're not what's best 1845 01:31:57.360 --> 01:32:02.560 for your life. You also get to practice like, Hey, I don't think this is going to serve me well. 1846 01:32:02.560 --> 01:32:11.120 So practice saying bye bye. Right. Or you get to measure a person because ideally when we say, 1847 01:32:11.120 --> 01:32:15.200 when we think, well, my husband's got to be on fire for God, obedient, whatever your, 1848 01:32:15.200 --> 01:32:23.120 your list is about for your husband. Oftentimes that man doesn't show up in the form that Jasmine 1849 01:32:23.120 --> 01:32:28.400 thought he would because Jasmine is not the author of her love story. And in a marriage, 1850 01:32:28.400 --> 01:32:33.520 marriage is designed to make us more holy than happy in your hands, carry something that cultivates 1851 01:32:33.520 --> 01:32:40.080 what he is or is not. And it feels in the space where he carries something to cultivate what you 1852 01:32:40.800 --> 01:32:48.560 are not. Marriage is designed for strength and not for weaknesses. And so God is, he's, 1853 01:32:48.560 --> 01:32:55.280 he orchestrates marriage very divinely and very well. What happens is when we create a profile 1854 01:32:55.280 --> 01:33:02.000 in our mind about what it should be or look like, or show up, you find yourself very distant from 1855 01:33:02.000 --> 01:33:09.760 that person. And so it reminds me a lot of when the, when Samuel went to anoint David 1856 01:33:11.200 --> 01:33:17.680 and every man he looked at, he said, surely this is the one, but he could not find him. And then, 1857 01:33:18.480 --> 01:33:22.880 then the scripture says, he said, you look at the outer appearance of man, but I, the Lord, 1858 01:33:22.880 --> 01:33:28.240 judge the heart. And so because of that scripture, I've created a prayer or a thought or thing that 1859 01:33:28.240 --> 01:33:34.880 I ask the Lord, when I meet people, I say, Lord, how have you judged this man's heart? 1860 01:33:36.960 --> 01:33:42.640 Because I get the privilege to operate in leadership in ministry and in leadership and, 1861 01:33:42.640 --> 01:33:48.000 and work with pastors and mentors, all these people, when the anointing shines upon them 1862 01:33:48.000 --> 01:33:52.080 and everything that a woman thinks she wants, she can check off a list when she looked at that man, 1863 01:33:52.080 --> 01:33:55.760 but she doesn't know that he didn't know how to communicate. She doesn't know that he didn't 1864 01:33:55.760 --> 01:34:00.880 carry these things that are needed to sustain a healthy marriage because a pastor can't show up 1865 01:34:00.880 --> 01:34:07.040 at home. You need a husband, but the list we put together is based on that light. 1866 01:34:08.000 --> 01:34:14.720 It's not based on a person and you need a person. So ideally what a list would look like is a man 1867 01:34:14.720 --> 01:34:19.520 who's committed to righteousness, because all of us are going to be obedient sometimes and not so 1868 01:34:19.520 --> 01:34:23.840 obedient the next time all of us are going to be slow to move. This is part of our shaping and 1869 01:34:23.840 --> 01:34:29.280 growing. And when you learn to see people for who they are, you can actually scope out the 1870 01:34:29.280 --> 01:34:33.840 gold in them and let the Lord speak to you about how he's judged their heart. 1871 01:34:33.840 --> 01:34:41.280 So dating for discovery is an investment in you. Okay. Because the idea that you're going to meet 1872 01:34:41.280 --> 01:34:47.840 somebody and voila, they're going to be the one. If by luck, they become the one, as soon as you 1873 01:34:47.840 --> 01:34:52.800 meet them and God said, this is the one guarantee you will skip some stuff. If you don't understand 1874 01:34:52.800 --> 01:34:58.080 wisdom and the process of developing a healthy relationship, and that comes with wisdom. 1875 01:34:58.080 --> 01:34:59.760 And so if you skip bypass. 1876 01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:02.800 that process because you never worked that muscle before. 1877 01:35:02.800 --> 01:35:04.600 You don't know how to do that. 1878 01:35:04.600 --> 01:35:06.800 And then now six weeks you're married 1879 01:35:06.800 --> 01:35:08.700 and now you're married and you think you've made it 1880 01:35:08.700 --> 01:35:10.900 to the promised land and you have not 1881 01:35:10.900 --> 01:35:12.600 because you skipped so much time 1882 01:35:12.600 --> 01:35:15.200 where you could have been getting to know a person. 1883 01:35:16.500 --> 01:35:20.000 But that's a skill that you build, right? 1884 01:35:20.000 --> 01:35:22.500 And so we don't believe that dating 1885 01:35:22.500 --> 01:35:24.700 for discovery is ever a waste of time. 1886 01:35:24.700 --> 01:35:26.700 It's actually an investment with you 1887 01:35:26.700 --> 01:35:29.500 that teaches how to grow grace, forgiveness, 1888 01:35:29.500 --> 01:35:30.500 all these things. 1889 01:35:30.500 --> 01:35:31.900 So the next thing you said 1890 01:35:33.100 --> 01:35:36.900 is you've been telling people that you are available. 1891 01:35:36.900 --> 01:35:40.200 I think that is amazing because I think we should do that. 1892 01:35:40.200 --> 01:35:42.200 And so one example, I know this girl 1893 01:35:42.200 --> 01:35:44.800 and she's not really, she wouldn't run with me. 1894 01:35:44.800 --> 01:35:46.400 She's a believer, but she wouldn't run 1895 01:35:46.400 --> 01:35:47.500 on the level I would run with. 1896 01:35:47.500 --> 01:35:49.600 So my mind would never say to her, 1897 01:35:49.600 --> 01:35:51.000 ask her if she knows somebody, 1898 01:35:51.000 --> 01:35:52.900 but I just made the comment to her one time. 1899 01:35:52.900 --> 01:35:54.000 And I was like, do you know somebody? 1900 01:35:54.000 --> 01:35:55.700 She's like, actually I do. 1901 01:35:55.700 --> 01:35:57.100 I was like, you do? 1902 01:35:57.100 --> 01:35:58.400 She said, you're a godly man. 1903 01:35:58.400 --> 01:36:00.900 So me, I said, so in your opinion, 1904 01:36:00.900 --> 01:36:02.500 what is a godly man? 1905 01:36:02.500 --> 01:36:05.200 Because now I'm trying to see her level of what is godly. 1906 01:36:05.200 --> 01:36:07.200 But this is a person I wouldn't have considered, 1907 01:36:07.200 --> 01:36:10.000 but she really didn't know a godly man. 1908 01:36:10.000 --> 01:36:12.100 She said, well, I consider him godly 1909 01:36:12.100 --> 01:36:13.900 is because he prays with me. 1910 01:36:13.900 --> 01:36:15.300 He's my best friend. 1911 01:36:15.300 --> 01:36:17.100 He's rooted in prayer. 1912 01:36:17.100 --> 01:36:19.200 That's a godly man. 1913 01:36:19.200 --> 01:36:22.900 And so I'm saying it's the things that we see least likely. 1914 01:36:22.900 --> 01:36:24.800 And that's why when you're expanding yourself 1915 01:36:24.800 --> 01:36:26.000 and getting to know people. 1916 01:36:26.000 --> 01:36:27.900 And so back to getting to know people. 1917 01:36:27.900 --> 01:36:30.400 So you've already told people that. 1918 01:36:30.400 --> 01:36:33.600 But also the part of, and you may already do this, 1919 01:36:33.600 --> 01:36:35.300 but when you're out at the grocery stores, 1920 01:36:35.300 --> 01:36:37.500 there's plenty of men that you can talk to. 1921 01:36:37.500 --> 01:36:38.300 Yeah. 1922 01:36:38.300 --> 01:36:39.800 At the gym, there's plenty of men. 1923 01:36:39.800 --> 01:36:40.800 I talk to people a lot. 1924 01:36:40.800 --> 01:36:43.700 I'm very social because I do ministry. 1925 01:36:43.700 --> 01:36:45.600 So I'll just walk up to people. 1926 01:36:45.600 --> 01:36:48.100 And if I have to give a word or pray for them. 1927 01:36:48.100 --> 01:36:50.900 So I'm not afraid to approach people. 1928 01:36:50.900 --> 01:36:55.900 But it's also like, I know there's some people 1929 01:36:55.900 --> 01:36:57.500 that I know believe in Jesus. 1930 01:36:57.500 --> 01:36:59.000 But there's a difference between believing 1931 01:36:59.000 --> 01:37:00.900 and knowing Jesus. 1932 01:37:00.900 --> 01:37:05.200 So I think I would want to have, I'd 1933 01:37:05.200 --> 01:37:10.000 rather connect with someone that actually knows Jesus. 1934 01:37:10.000 --> 01:37:12.100 And I feel like it's just safer. 1935 01:37:12.100 --> 01:37:12.800 I don't know. 1936 01:37:12.800 --> 01:37:14.800 I'm still like, boundaries. 1937 01:37:14.800 --> 01:37:16.900 I don't want to, I could technically 1938 01:37:16.900 --> 01:37:19.500 go out with people right now if I really wanted to. 1939 01:37:19.500 --> 01:37:21.500 But I know it's not going to go anywhere. 1940 01:37:21.500 --> 01:37:23.200 So for the sake of just going on a date, 1941 01:37:23.200 --> 01:37:25.300 you want me to go on a date? 1942 01:37:25.300 --> 01:37:29.100 Well, because your lens are convinced 1943 01:37:29.100 --> 01:37:30.900 that there's nothing for you to be 1944 01:37:30.900 --> 01:37:32.800 gained from going on a date. 1945 01:37:32.800 --> 01:37:35.700 But dating is for discovery of Jasmine. 1946 01:37:35.700 --> 01:37:40.200 And the idea that you, the idea that I want somebody 1947 01:37:40.200 --> 01:37:41.900 who really knows Jesus. 1948 01:37:41.900 --> 01:37:44.800 Any level of growth that we've had in Christ 1949 01:37:44.800 --> 01:37:46.500 comes through a journey. 1950 01:37:46.500 --> 01:37:49.200 So that means you may can speak in tongues. 1951 01:37:49.200 --> 01:37:51.600 And you may can go out and minister and evangelize. 1952 01:37:51.600 --> 01:37:53.200 But there are things in your life 1953 01:37:53.200 --> 01:37:55.200 you have idols set up in your heart. 1954 01:37:55.200 --> 01:37:57.000 Things that have not been surrendered to the Lord. 1955 01:37:57.000 --> 01:37:59.300 And it doesn't change that you're on fire for him. 1956 01:37:59.300 --> 01:38:00.800 And so that's the level of awareness 1957 01:38:00.800 --> 01:38:03.600 that the believer has as they walk with the Lord. 1958 01:38:03.600 --> 01:38:08.800 So the idea that you know, you don't know 1959 01:38:08.800 --> 01:38:10.800 until you walk with a person, 1960 01:38:10.800 --> 01:38:13.300 their level of commitment to righteousness 1961 01:38:13.300 --> 01:38:14.300 or who they are. 1962 01:38:14.300 --> 01:38:15.600 I've walked in dear life. 1963 01:38:15.600 --> 01:38:17.200 I've been in a marriage, marriage relationship 1964 01:38:17.200 --> 01:38:19.200 with a man who's very committed to righteousness. 1965 01:38:19.200 --> 01:38:22.100 He wasn't me, but he didn't have to be me. 1966 01:38:22.100 --> 01:38:25.000 Because some of us women are going to need a man 1967 01:38:25.000 --> 01:38:28.500 who anchors us and hold the kite while we fly high. 1968 01:38:28.500 --> 01:38:32.100 So you're looking for a man to match or be something 1969 01:38:32.100 --> 01:38:35.000 in Jesus and God picked him because he's steady and stable. 1970 01:38:35.000 --> 01:38:37.300 And he gives you freedom to run 1971 01:38:37.300 --> 01:38:39.800 and do everything that God has called you to do. 1972 01:38:39.800 --> 01:38:41.600 You don't have a way of measuring that. 1973 01:38:41.600 --> 01:38:45.000 Because you're not God, you can't see it. 1974 01:38:45.000 --> 01:38:46.000 You don't know it. 1975 01:38:46.000 --> 01:38:49.200 And so he looks like, oh, he may not be this or that, 1976 01:38:49.200 --> 01:38:52.000 but he carries the qualities needed for Jasmine 1977 01:38:52.000 --> 01:38:54.300 to be her full expression in the earth. 1978 01:38:55.300 --> 01:38:56.300 Amen. 1979 01:38:56.300 --> 01:39:02.200 So it's just this idea that just like if a man meets you 1980 01:39:02.200 --> 01:39:04.700 and he tries to measure Jesus in you. 1981 01:39:04.700 --> 01:39:09.200 These things, we are fruit inspectors 1982 01:39:09.200 --> 01:39:11.400 and that takes observation and time. 1983 01:39:11.400 --> 01:39:13.400 And so it's not about, you want me to go on a date? 1984 01:39:13.400 --> 01:39:14.400 I'll just go on a date. 1985 01:39:14.400 --> 01:39:19.200 You can do that, but dating is for discovery, 1986 01:39:19.200 --> 01:39:21.000 not for finding your husband 1987 01:39:21.000 --> 01:39:22.800 because God is writing your love story. 1988 01:39:23.100 --> 01:39:24.900 So in the meantime, you can sit at the house 1989 01:39:24.900 --> 01:39:27.300 and wait for the Amazon package to come to the door 1990 01:39:27.300 --> 01:39:31.700 and not grow and not expand yourself 1991 01:39:31.700 --> 01:39:34.900 because it's not Jesus that's going to do the marriage. 1992 01:39:34.900 --> 01:39:36.600 Marriage is an institution. 1993 01:39:36.600 --> 01:39:38.800 So it's kind of like, I had a prophetic dream 1994 01:39:38.800 --> 01:39:40.500 and the Lord showed me my husband. 1995 01:39:40.500 --> 01:39:42.300 He can show you a husband in spirit all you want, 1996 01:39:42.300 --> 01:39:44.200 but you're going to live with a man that's in the flesh. 1997 01:39:45.900 --> 01:39:48.000 Right, I think you said it though. 1998 01:39:48.000 --> 01:39:49.900 That's how I was viewing it. 1999 01:39:49.900 --> 01:39:52.400 Well, it wasn't for discovery. 2000 01:39:52.500 --> 01:39:57.500 It was like God's bringing me to my future godly husband 2001 01:39:57.500 --> 01:39:59.300 and I want to date with intention. 2002 01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:05.000 also all these other people that are coming to me now, 2003 01:40:05.320 --> 01:40:07.840 I'm just like, I'm being very selective, 2004 01:40:07.840 --> 01:40:11.200 which I still think I should be to have standards. 2005 01:40:11.200 --> 01:40:13.560 Cause there's just certain people, 2006 01:40:13.560 --> 01:40:14.800 like someone wants to take me out, 2007 01:40:14.800 --> 01:40:16.200 but he like smokes weed 2008 01:40:16.200 --> 01:40:17.840 and I don't really want to be around that, you know? 2009 01:40:17.840 --> 01:40:19.200 So I'm like, I could go on a date with you, 2010 01:40:19.200 --> 01:40:23.640 but I'm also just, I find myself ministering to him. 2011 01:40:24.600 --> 01:40:27.880 Yeah. So let's create, let's create a foundation. 2012 01:40:27.960 --> 01:40:31.080 So ideally you want, if you've had a chance to watch a video, 2013 01:40:31.080 --> 01:40:33.840 you want a man that is mature, marriage minded, masculine. 2014 01:40:33.840 --> 01:40:36.200 Now the mature, all of these things, 2015 01:40:36.200 --> 01:40:37.720 you really don't really find out, 2016 01:40:37.720 --> 01:40:39.760 but you can kind of vet a person in the first week 2017 01:40:39.760 --> 01:40:42.280 of talking to them to see their feel. 2018 01:40:42.280 --> 01:40:44.360 So if they feel safe, if they feel, 2019 01:40:44.360 --> 01:40:46.360 if they smoke weed or something like that, 2020 01:40:46.360 --> 01:40:48.200 well, that's not how you want to spend your time. 2021 01:40:48.200 --> 01:40:49.440 I agree with it. 2022 01:40:49.440 --> 01:40:53.120 But there are quality men that may not be spiritually 2023 01:40:53.120 --> 01:40:55.560 or whatever else we may have that we desire, 2024 01:40:55.560 --> 01:40:58.680 but they're quality men that you can go on a date with. 2025 01:40:58.680 --> 01:41:01.160 And so all I'm saying is there's never a time 2026 01:41:01.160 --> 01:41:04.360 when you go on a date that you're not investing in. 2027 01:41:04.360 --> 01:41:07.080 The name of the game is investing in yourself. 2028 01:41:07.080 --> 01:41:08.840 In this phase of the program, 2029 01:41:08.840 --> 01:41:11.520 dating is a skill that helps to develop you. 2030 01:41:12.360 --> 01:41:13.200 Okay. 2031 01:41:13.200 --> 01:41:15.480 And we see it nothing more than that 2032 01:41:15.480 --> 01:41:17.040 because we are fully convinced 2033 01:41:17.040 --> 01:41:18.600 that God is writing your love story. 2034 01:41:18.600 --> 01:41:20.720 And we believe that none of us have the ability 2035 01:41:20.720 --> 01:41:22.960 to write our love story because we don't have the eyes 2036 01:41:23.000 --> 01:41:25.760 to see what this person will be 10 years from now, 2037 01:41:25.760 --> 01:41:27.960 10 years from now, 15 years from now. 2038 01:41:27.960 --> 01:41:29.880 And so that's how it is. 2039 01:41:29.880 --> 01:41:32.080 So I get what you're saying, 2040 01:41:32.080 --> 01:41:37.080 but it will be, it can serve as a block for you to develop. 2041 01:41:38.040 --> 01:41:41.320 Because, and you can date with intentionality 2042 01:41:41.320 --> 01:41:44.560 and your intentionality right now is discovery. 2043 01:41:44.560 --> 01:41:45.400 Okay. 2044 01:41:45.400 --> 01:41:46.440 That's your intentionality right now. 2045 01:41:46.440 --> 01:41:48.240 And no, I'm not saying go, 2046 01:41:48.240 --> 01:41:52.000 there's gonna be a level of foundational level 2047 01:41:52.040 --> 01:41:53.800 to the men you accept dates from. 2048 01:41:54.840 --> 01:41:57.080 So I'm not asking that out at all. 2049 01:41:57.080 --> 01:41:57.920 Yeah. 2050 01:41:57.920 --> 01:42:00.240 It's like, who wants to go out with a man 2051 01:42:00.240 --> 01:42:02.400 who has a filthy mouth? 2052 01:42:02.400 --> 01:42:03.240 Yeah. 2053 01:42:03.240 --> 01:42:04.120 All you do is curse. 2054 01:42:04.120 --> 01:42:06.440 I'm not gonna sit and keep company with you. 2055 01:42:06.440 --> 01:42:08.480 I wouldn't even be your friend. 2056 01:42:08.480 --> 01:42:09.320 Yeah. 2057 01:42:09.320 --> 01:42:10.280 I'm not interested in that. 2058 01:42:10.280 --> 01:42:13.600 Like, you know, cursing like all the time, 2059 01:42:13.600 --> 01:42:15.440 all the time, all of you say something here and there, 2060 01:42:15.440 --> 01:42:17.840 but like none, stop back to back. 2061 01:42:17.840 --> 01:42:20.360 It's just not how I wanna spend my time. 2062 01:42:20.400 --> 01:42:23.040 And so I hear your heart in that matter. 2063 01:42:23.040 --> 01:42:24.680 That's what I'm saying to you. 2064 01:42:24.680 --> 01:42:25.920 Okay. 2065 01:42:25.920 --> 01:42:26.760 Thank you. 2066 01:42:29.440 --> 01:42:30.280 You're right. 2067 01:42:30.280 --> 01:42:33.880 I'm realizing as you're telling me all this 2068 01:42:33.880 --> 01:42:37.560 that I put up this really big boundary 2069 01:42:37.560 --> 01:42:39.080 where I'm like, hold up. 2070 01:42:39.080 --> 01:42:40.240 And there's nothing wrong with boundaries, 2071 01:42:40.240 --> 01:42:42.280 but I really have been like, 2072 01:42:43.360 --> 01:42:48.360 maybe a little too guarded when it comes to that. 2073 01:42:48.760 --> 01:42:49.600 Yes. 2074 01:42:49.600 --> 01:42:50.440 Thank you. 2075 01:42:50.440 --> 01:42:53.640 I will take your advice and everything that you said. 2076 01:42:53.640 --> 01:42:55.120 I was like, amen. 2077 01:42:56.080 --> 01:42:57.560 Jasmine, remember there's a difference 2078 01:42:57.560 --> 01:42:59.600 between boundaries and walls. 2079 01:42:59.600 --> 01:43:01.160 Okay. 2080 01:43:01.160 --> 01:43:02.000 Right. 2081 01:43:02.000 --> 01:43:05.000 Boundaries partner with wisdom that guard your heart. 2082 01:43:05.000 --> 01:43:07.440 So boundaries say, I'm not gonna be talking about, 2083 01:43:07.440 --> 01:43:09.680 and these are the boundaries that Jackie teaches. 2084 01:43:09.680 --> 01:43:11.520 We're not gonna be talking about spiritual things. 2085 01:43:11.520 --> 01:43:13.240 We're not gonna be talking about emotional bound. 2086 01:43:13.240 --> 01:43:14.360 We're not gonna be crossing that. 2087 01:43:14.360 --> 01:43:16.520 We're not gonna be crossing physical boundaries. 2088 01:43:16.520 --> 01:43:18.440 Those are boundaries that you submit yourself 2089 01:43:18.440 --> 01:43:20.000 under the order of. 2090 01:43:20.000 --> 01:43:20.840 Yeah. 2091 01:43:20.840 --> 01:43:21.760 Walls keep people out. 2092 01:43:21.760 --> 01:43:23.000 And Jackie says this best. 2093 01:43:23.000 --> 01:43:25.360 She says, many of us will build walls, 2094 01:43:25.360 --> 01:43:26.240 but you know what? 2095 01:43:26.240 --> 01:43:29.120 Men come to the door and knock like Jesus. 2096 01:43:29.120 --> 01:43:31.000 And if you open, they'll come in. 2097 01:43:31.000 --> 01:43:32.920 Men are worth and value, 2098 01:43:32.920 --> 01:43:37.000 but thieves climb walls and they take the things. 2099 01:43:37.000 --> 01:43:38.560 And so when we put up walls, 2100 01:43:38.560 --> 01:43:40.720 we attract men who are thieves, 2101 01:43:40.720 --> 01:43:43.120 who come and say all the right things 2102 01:43:43.120 --> 01:43:45.280 and they climb the wall and they break in. 2103 01:43:46.280 --> 01:43:48.720 You know, I'm gonna be honest with you. 2104 01:43:48.720 --> 01:43:49.920 Like the gifts that I have 2105 01:43:49.920 --> 01:43:52.920 when God has given me the ability to see 2106 01:43:52.920 --> 01:43:55.800 like spiritually, like what's on people. 2107 01:43:55.800 --> 01:43:57.840 And so there are people that I see, 2108 01:43:57.840 --> 01:44:00.360 like that I can meet and I'm attracted to them, 2109 01:44:00.360 --> 01:44:03.560 but I can also see like there's lust on them. 2110 01:44:03.560 --> 01:44:05.000 Yeah. 2111 01:44:05.000 --> 01:44:08.280 And I get very, especially with that particular spirit, 2112 01:44:08.280 --> 01:44:13.280 I get very protective of myself 2113 01:44:13.440 --> 01:44:16.280 because I went through from my past, 2114 01:44:16.280 --> 01:44:19.480 but also spent a lot of time working on myself 2115 01:44:19.480 --> 01:44:22.920 to make sure that I got rid of that thing in Jesus name. 2116 01:44:22.920 --> 01:44:27.920 So being around, like it's out there obviously, 2117 01:44:27.960 --> 01:44:30.280 but opening up to somebody, 2118 01:44:30.280 --> 01:44:33.560 like just to hang out and that's on them, 2119 01:44:33.560 --> 01:44:36.600 you know, I get, I don't know. 2120 01:44:36.600 --> 01:44:38.680 It's been a struggle for me. 2121 01:44:38.680 --> 01:44:39.520 I'll just be honest. 2122 01:44:39.520 --> 01:44:41.640 It's been a struggle for me to go out 2123 01:44:41.680 --> 01:44:45.480 and be open to dating because of my ability to see 2124 01:44:45.480 --> 01:44:47.680 like maybe what they're struggling with. 2125 01:44:47.680 --> 01:44:48.520 Yeah. 2126 01:44:48.520 --> 01:44:49.480 Yeah. 2127 01:44:49.480 --> 01:44:50.320 Well, I understand. 2128 01:44:50.320 --> 01:44:51.480 And so in that case, 2129 01:44:51.480 --> 01:44:54.800 when we have that level of gifting on our life, 2130 01:44:54.800 --> 01:44:58.320 what we have to do is ask the father to help us see them 2131 01:44:58.320 --> 01:44:59.840 the way he sees them. 2132 01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:02.680 Because when he looks at them, he's not looking at lust. 2133 01:45:02.680 --> 01:45:04.160 When he looks at them, he's not looking 2134 01:45:04.160 --> 01:45:06.460 at all of their shortcomings. 2135 01:45:06.460 --> 01:45:08.760 That's not how he sees us. 2136 01:45:08.760 --> 01:45:11.240 And so you're gonna have to ask the Lord 2137 01:45:11.240 --> 01:45:12.960 to give you the eyes of Christ 2138 01:45:12.960 --> 01:45:15.040 when you look at these people, 2139 01:45:15.040 --> 01:45:17.600 and that's gonna help you train your gift 2140 01:45:17.600 --> 01:45:21.200 and have it to come under the eyes of love. 2141 01:45:21.200 --> 01:45:23.600 And that when there is a danger for you, 2142 01:45:23.600 --> 01:45:25.760 that gift will operate, right? 2143 01:45:25.760 --> 01:45:27.920 And so it's just a balance of the good thing. 2144 01:45:27.920 --> 01:45:31.200 Because it is true, some people carry things 2145 01:45:31.200 --> 01:45:33.800 and you know they carry it, right? 2146 01:45:33.800 --> 01:45:37.200 So a lot of what you've been through does have weight to it. 2147 01:45:37.200 --> 01:45:39.320 It has weight to you accepting dates. 2148 01:45:39.320 --> 01:45:41.960 It has weight to you talking to men. 2149 01:45:41.960 --> 01:45:43.320 Whatever you've come through 2150 01:45:43.320 --> 01:45:45.220 and whatever the Lord has to deliver you from, 2151 01:45:45.220 --> 01:45:47.280 that has a lot to do with, like you said, 2152 01:45:47.280 --> 01:45:49.120 he told you, don't do dating apps. 2153 01:45:49.120 --> 01:45:50.640 You wanted something, he told you. 2154 01:45:50.640 --> 01:45:54.040 There's a reason he's telling you that. 2155 01:45:54.040 --> 01:45:56.080 And so because the Lord is telling you 2156 01:45:56.080 --> 01:45:59.820 that you're gonna have to operate in other avenues, 2157 01:45:59.820 --> 01:46:01.500 but there's an avenue for you to work on. 2158 01:46:01.500 --> 01:46:04.640 And I can't say, some people operate, 2159 01:46:04.640 --> 01:46:07.360 there's a fear that I'm not gonna do dating apps, right? 2160 01:46:07.360 --> 01:46:08.960 And they assign it to the Lord. 2161 01:46:08.960 --> 01:46:11.000 But some of us have a real history. 2162 01:46:11.000 --> 01:46:13.120 It could be a history of promiscuity. 2163 01:46:13.120 --> 01:46:15.320 It could be a history of something that attaches, 2164 01:46:15.320 --> 01:46:19.120 that will be a block for us or hindrance to us. 2165 01:46:19.120 --> 01:46:20.840 So I understand. 2166 01:46:20.840 --> 01:46:22.520 But you're gonna have to ask the Lord 2167 01:46:22.520 --> 01:46:24.960 to help you in the gifting, 2168 01:46:24.960 --> 01:46:29.200 to give you his eyes as how he's seeing that person. 2169 01:46:29.200 --> 01:46:30.840 Because you are empowered. 2170 01:46:30.840 --> 01:46:33.340 Where there is darkness, when the light appears, 2171 01:46:33.340 --> 01:46:35.240 you can put all that in his place. 2172 01:46:36.320 --> 01:46:37.160 Amen. 2173 01:46:38.920 --> 01:46:40.000 Thank you. 2174 01:46:40.000 --> 01:46:41.200 You're welcome. 2175 01:46:41.200 --> 01:46:42.480 Hey, Rebecca. 2176 01:46:43.680 --> 01:46:45.340 Wait, Ebony, I think I raised, 2177 01:46:45.340 --> 01:46:47.080 are you going in order by any chance? 2178 01:46:47.080 --> 01:46:48.880 I thought your hand was just still up 2179 01:46:48.880 --> 01:46:50.600 from the first time you were talking. 2180 01:46:50.600 --> 01:46:52.720 No, I wanted to get coaching too. 2181 01:46:52.720 --> 01:46:55.200 Joanne, I skipped you so many times. 2182 01:46:55.200 --> 01:46:56.960 Why you didn't say anything? 2183 01:46:56.960 --> 01:46:58.560 Because I wanna be considerate. 2184 01:46:58.560 --> 01:47:00.680 I was like, maybe she's doing that on purpose, 2185 01:47:00.680 --> 01:47:01.560 strategically. 2186 01:47:01.560 --> 01:47:03.480 And then I was like, no, I should speak up. 2187 01:47:03.480 --> 01:47:04.960 I should say something. 2188 01:47:05.960 --> 01:47:08.040 I was like waiting patiently. 2189 01:47:08.040 --> 01:47:09.200 I'm so sorry. 2190 01:47:09.200 --> 01:47:12.160 I was like, Joanne, I just thought it was still up. 2191 01:47:12.160 --> 01:47:14.760 No, no, I actually had a question I wanted to ask you. 2192 01:47:14.760 --> 01:47:16.080 Yes, ask me, Joanne. 2193 01:47:16.080 --> 01:47:17.160 Okay. 2194 01:47:17.160 --> 01:47:18.800 Wait, let me try to get on video. 2195 01:47:18.800 --> 01:47:22.080 So I know we don't have much time. 2196 01:47:22.080 --> 01:47:25.800 But yeah, so I had a good time with Jay. 2197 01:47:25.800 --> 01:47:27.120 He came and visited. 2198 01:47:27.120 --> 01:47:29.120 You saw, thank you for responding. 2199 01:47:29.120 --> 01:47:34.120 I think I definitely need to work on a lot of stuff. 2200 01:47:34.160 --> 01:47:37.000 Like I tend to manage the connection. 2201 01:47:37.000 --> 01:47:38.880 I tend to go fast. 2202 01:47:38.880 --> 01:47:42.240 He's like a slow, steady, methodical guy. 2203 01:47:42.240 --> 01:47:46.440 And we were planning on for me to visit him in two weeks 2204 01:47:46.440 --> 01:47:49.240 and talking about long distance already. 2205 01:47:49.240 --> 01:47:52.240 But he told me today as he was, when he landed, 2206 01:47:52.240 --> 01:47:54.840 he's like, Joanne, I need some time to pray. 2207 01:47:54.840 --> 01:47:56.680 And I've noticed a pattern about him. 2208 01:47:56.680 --> 01:47:59.120 It's like, he gets excited when he sees me. 2209 01:47:59.120 --> 01:48:00.920 He's like, yes, I want to come see you. 2210 01:48:00.920 --> 01:48:03.880 And then he's like stressed about the finances. 2211 01:48:03.880 --> 01:48:06.720 And then he'll just retreat like in his cave. 2212 01:48:06.720 --> 01:48:09.360 And then he'll be like, I need to pray and seek the Lord. 2213 01:48:09.360 --> 01:48:11.000 He does come back and he's like, 2214 01:48:11.000 --> 01:48:12.600 okay, I want to do this with you. 2215 01:48:12.600 --> 01:48:14.320 And then it was like, oh, great. 2216 01:48:14.320 --> 01:48:15.160 We went through another home. 2217 01:48:15.160 --> 01:48:16.800 And it was like, when you saw the Airbnb 2218 01:48:16.800 --> 01:48:18.120 and the prices were so expensive, 2219 01:48:18.120 --> 01:48:19.760 because we only had one week to plan, 2220 01:48:19.760 --> 01:48:21.560 which is kind of intense. 2221 01:48:21.560 --> 01:48:24.440 So I'm feeling like he has this pattern of like, 2222 01:48:24.440 --> 01:48:27.040 oh, any step we go a little further, 2223 01:48:27.040 --> 01:48:30.360 he's like, I need to seek the Lord's face, which is great. 2224 01:48:30.360 --> 01:48:33.320 You know, he's a godly man who has accountability, 2225 01:48:33.320 --> 01:48:34.160 which is awesome. 2226 01:48:34.160 --> 01:48:36.520 But it triggers my stuff because I'm like, 2227 01:48:36.520 --> 01:48:37.680 you just told me this. 2228 01:48:37.680 --> 01:48:40.720 And I've had a lot of men and say, 2229 01:48:40.720 --> 01:48:42.240 oh, I want to do this with you. 2230 01:48:42.240 --> 01:48:43.080 You're my wife. 2231 01:48:43.080 --> 01:48:44.080 That's not healthy. 2232 01:48:44.080 --> 01:48:46.680 But I've had a lot of bad experiences 2233 01:48:46.680 --> 01:48:48.920 where I think I'm a little sensitive 2234 01:48:48.920 --> 01:48:53.880 and I think I share too much about like, what I'd like. 2235 01:48:53.880 --> 01:48:55.000 You know my pattern. 2236 01:48:55.000 --> 01:48:57.520 I just say like, this is what I'd like. 2237 01:48:57.520 --> 01:49:00.520 And I feel like it's giving him a lot of pressure. 2238 01:49:00.520 --> 01:49:02.000 I mean, he told me I felt pressure. 2239 01:49:02.000 --> 01:49:03.320 I didn't want to disappoint you. 2240 01:49:03.320 --> 01:49:06.200 I feel like this weekend was really intense. 2241 01:49:06.200 --> 01:49:07.480 Because we talked through a lot of stuff. 2242 01:49:07.480 --> 01:49:10.160 Because like, if we're, I mean, we never met. 2243 01:49:10.160 --> 01:49:12.520 And then three days, we're spending all this time together. 2244 01:49:12.560 --> 01:49:14.920 And we decided to take a break yesterday. 2245 01:49:14.920 --> 01:49:15.920 And I had a meltdown. 2246 01:49:15.920 --> 01:49:17.760 I was like, whoa, I don't think I could do this. 2247 01:49:17.760 --> 01:49:18.760 This is too much for me. 2248 01:49:18.760 --> 01:49:21.080 And he was like, whoa, I need to take some time. 2249 01:49:21.080 --> 01:49:23.200 Because it was like, we're just like talking, 2250 01:49:23.200 --> 01:49:25.240 you know, I'm 46, he's 48. 2251 01:49:25.240 --> 01:49:26.360 We both never married. 2252 01:49:26.360 --> 01:49:29.360 So he's thinking this, we're both super serious. 2253 01:49:29.360 --> 01:49:30.440 You know what I mean? 2254 01:49:30.440 --> 01:49:31.520 I mean, we're having fun. 2255 01:49:31.520 --> 01:49:32.760 We laugh a whole bunch. 2256 01:49:32.760 --> 01:49:34.280 We're just, we do. 2257 01:49:34.280 --> 01:49:36.200 And so I think he's a little freaked out. 2258 01:49:36.200 --> 01:49:38.760 And I know I have a very intense, strong personality 2259 01:49:38.760 --> 01:49:41.800 that's creative and very expressive. 2260 01:49:41.800 --> 01:49:44.360 And I think it's, I'm a little too pushy. 2261 01:49:44.360 --> 01:49:47.160 And God's already told me you need to slow down 2262 01:49:47.160 --> 01:49:48.680 and he needs to speed up. 2263 01:49:48.680 --> 01:49:52.960 So I tend to attach really quickly to the anxious style. 2264 01:49:52.960 --> 01:49:55.280 So, I mean, I'm definitely gonna give him space 2265 01:49:55.280 --> 01:49:56.840 to think and process to make sure 2266 01:49:56.840 --> 01:49:59.640 this is what he feels comfortable as well. 2267 01:49:59.640 --> 01:50:00.480 But I'm. 2268 01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:02.640 Like in the meantime, my main question is like, okay, dude, 2269 01:50:02.640 --> 01:50:04.680 like should I date other people? 2270 01:50:04.680 --> 01:50:07.440 Cause I know he's not, he's not dating other people, 2271 01:50:07.440 --> 01:50:11.420 but I feel like that might help me not be like, so, 2272 01:50:11.420 --> 01:50:12.260 you know what I mean? 2273 01:50:12.260 --> 01:50:15.380 I feel so like, are we doing this or we're not doing this? 2274 01:50:15.380 --> 01:50:16.220 You know? 2275 01:50:16.220 --> 01:50:19.680 And, and I don't, I told him, it's not because I'm like, 2276 01:50:19.680 --> 01:50:23.480 like, I think I'm so into this and I, I'm so committed. 2277 01:50:23.480 --> 01:50:24.320 You're not my boyfriend. 2278 01:50:24.320 --> 01:50:26.680 It's just like a logistical, I want to go get the tickets. 2279 01:50:26.680 --> 01:50:28.480 Cause if I'm going to come visit you, 2280 01:50:28.480 --> 01:50:30.840 and if we wait for three or four more days, 2281 01:50:30.840 --> 01:50:32.040 it's going to be more expensive. 2282 01:50:32.040 --> 01:50:33.180 And I have to pay for it. 2283 01:50:33.180 --> 01:50:35.200 That's really more like, I told her, 2284 01:50:35.200 --> 01:50:36.800 I don't care if the prices are the same, 2285 01:50:36.800 --> 01:50:38.240 I can book the ticket next week. 2286 01:50:38.240 --> 01:50:40.960 So I just don't want him to scare off. 2287 01:50:40.960 --> 01:50:44.040 Cause I think I've tended to be like too like pushy 2288 01:50:44.040 --> 01:50:45.960 and anxiety, let's move forward. 2289 01:50:45.960 --> 01:50:47.840 Like, okay, what's next? 2290 01:50:47.840 --> 01:50:48.680 So I don't know. 2291 01:50:48.680 --> 01:50:50.760 Do you think I should date other people? 2292 01:50:50.760 --> 01:50:51.600 In the meantime? 2293 01:50:51.600 --> 01:50:55.240 So are you deciding to move forward with this relationship? 2294 01:50:55.240 --> 01:50:57.320 I mean, I do want to move forward. 2295 01:50:57.320 --> 01:50:59.720 I told him on me coming out to see you is not like, 2296 01:50:59.720 --> 01:51:04.040 Hey, we're, we're, I'm like committed to you. 2297 01:51:04.040 --> 01:51:06.200 We already decided we still need to get to know 2298 01:51:06.200 --> 01:51:07.040 each other more. 2299 01:51:07.040 --> 01:51:07.880 Right. 2300 01:51:07.880 --> 01:51:11.120 But I recognize it's confusing because I think I have 2301 01:51:11.120 --> 01:51:13.640 too high expectations where I'm already expecting him 2302 01:51:13.640 --> 01:51:15.360 to be like boyfriend level. 2303 01:51:15.360 --> 01:51:18.400 Yet he's also like saying, let's tone it down. 2304 01:51:18.400 --> 01:51:20.200 And I'm like, okay, let's tone it down. 2305 01:51:20.200 --> 01:51:22.920 But then he's talking about the future because we have to 2306 01:51:22.920 --> 01:51:25.360 about long distance and then immigration. 2307 01:51:25.360 --> 01:51:27.520 So he's like finding out, oh my gosh, 2308 01:51:27.520 --> 01:51:29.280 it's going to take eight to 12 months. 2309 01:51:29.280 --> 01:51:30.880 I better start the immigration. 2310 01:51:30.880 --> 01:51:35.080 So it's like hard to navigate this like thing for me, 2311 01:51:35.080 --> 01:51:35.920 you know? 2312 01:51:35.920 --> 01:51:36.760 Yeah. 2313 01:51:36.760 --> 01:51:38.400 But so the problem is you're talking about things 2314 01:51:38.400 --> 01:51:40.720 you shouldn't be talking about. 2315 01:51:40.720 --> 01:51:45.280 You need, you're trying to use a grace that you don't have. 2316 01:51:45.280 --> 01:51:46.120 Yeah, I know. 2317 01:51:46.120 --> 01:51:48.200 You don't have grace for a year from now that it takes 2318 01:51:48.200 --> 01:51:49.880 for immigration to do something. 2319 01:51:49.880 --> 01:51:51.240 You don't have the grace for that. 2320 01:51:51.240 --> 01:51:53.080 You have the grace for the present space 2321 01:51:53.080 --> 01:51:54.520 of getting to know somebody. 2322 01:51:56.200 --> 01:51:57.760 And you have to. 2323 01:51:57.760 --> 01:51:58.600 Okay. 2324 01:51:58.600 --> 01:51:59.640 But then he talks about it. 2325 01:51:59.640 --> 01:52:02.240 Cause he's like, well, if I'm going to marry you, 2326 01:52:02.240 --> 01:52:03.960 I got to look into this. 2327 01:52:03.960 --> 01:52:06.760 You have to say, I've only been knowing you a month. 2328 01:52:06.760 --> 01:52:08.560 We're not talking about marriage. 2329 01:52:09.960 --> 01:52:13.120 We're not talking about what you think you hear God say. 2330 01:52:13.120 --> 01:52:15.880 We're not talking about immigration. 2331 01:52:15.880 --> 01:52:17.920 All we need to make a decision on now, 2332 01:52:17.920 --> 01:52:20.200 if we're going to long distance date. 2333 01:52:20.200 --> 01:52:21.720 That's it. 2334 01:52:21.920 --> 01:52:25.400 When panic takes over, this is fear 2335 01:52:25.400 --> 01:52:30.400 because you're operating outside of your well of grace. 2336 01:52:31.680 --> 01:52:33.720 You cannot live a year from now 2337 01:52:33.720 --> 01:52:35.920 and think you're going to have peace about it. 2338 01:52:38.840 --> 01:52:39.760 Okay. 2339 01:52:39.760 --> 01:52:41.080 After you get to know a person, 2340 01:52:41.080 --> 01:52:42.800 especially when you hit the 90 day mark, 2341 01:52:42.800 --> 01:52:44.920 you start seeing them different. 2342 01:52:44.920 --> 01:52:46.160 It's too fresh. 2343 01:52:46.160 --> 01:52:47.440 It's too new. 2344 01:52:47.440 --> 01:52:49.440 You're trying to operate. 2345 01:52:49.480 --> 01:52:51.800 Cause how long have you been knowing him? 2346 01:52:51.800 --> 01:52:53.000 It's been a month and a half. 2347 01:52:53.000 --> 01:52:54.040 It was our first meeting. 2348 01:52:54.040 --> 01:52:56.240 It was really intense, like three days, you know? 2349 01:52:56.240 --> 01:52:59.680 So there was a lot, but he's long distance. 2350 01:52:59.680 --> 01:53:02.960 And so that's why I told you to plan your dates with him 2351 01:53:02.960 --> 01:53:05.000 to give yourself breathing time. 2352 01:53:05.000 --> 01:53:06.440 I know I failed a bit. 2353 01:53:06.440 --> 01:53:07.760 I tried and it failed. 2354 01:53:07.760 --> 01:53:09.240 And then yesterday it was forced. 2355 01:53:09.240 --> 01:53:10.680 We're like, we need to take a break. 2356 01:53:10.680 --> 01:53:12.640 This is way too much. 2357 01:53:12.640 --> 01:53:13.480 Way. 2358 01:53:13.480 --> 01:53:15.240 I know, Ebony, I'm sorry. 2359 01:53:15.240 --> 01:53:16.400 I tried. 2360 01:53:16.400 --> 01:53:18.000 I was like, I'm going to do this. 2361 01:53:18.000 --> 01:53:19.560 And I fail, I failed. 2362 01:53:19.560 --> 01:53:22.040 And I feel terrible about myself a lot of times. 2363 01:53:22.040 --> 01:53:22.880 And I'm like. 2364 01:53:22.880 --> 01:53:26.440 Well, what happens is you overloaded your system. 2365 01:53:26.440 --> 01:53:28.280 Y'all are talking about all this future stuff 2366 01:53:28.280 --> 01:53:30.120 because at this point you don't have a choice 2367 01:53:30.120 --> 01:53:32.080 because you put things in overdrive. 2368 01:53:32.080 --> 01:53:33.320 So when you meet him, 2369 01:53:33.320 --> 01:53:35.360 you're not thinking about getting to know him. 2370 01:53:35.360 --> 01:53:37.800 You're evaluating him for a spouse. 2371 01:53:37.800 --> 01:53:38.640 Yeah, I am. 2372 01:53:38.640 --> 01:53:39.480 I mean, we're talking. 2373 01:53:39.480 --> 01:53:40.920 You're putting expectations on him. 2374 01:53:40.920 --> 01:53:42.120 So he can't just be him. 2375 01:53:42.120 --> 01:53:43.240 He has to be a husband. 2376 01:53:43.240 --> 01:53:46.600 There's a difference between a man and a spouse. 2377 01:53:46.640 --> 01:53:48.440 There's two different people. 2378 01:53:48.440 --> 01:53:51.400 There's a difference between Joanne and wife. 2379 01:53:51.400 --> 01:53:52.720 I know. 2380 01:53:52.720 --> 01:53:54.760 It's just as there's a difference between a mother, 2381 01:53:54.760 --> 01:53:57.960 a wife, and that woman as a person. 2382 01:53:57.960 --> 01:54:02.560 And so you, and this is good. 2383 01:54:02.560 --> 01:54:03.800 I'm so glad you're bringing this 2384 01:54:03.800 --> 01:54:05.280 because this is like a real life 2385 01:54:05.280 --> 01:54:08.120 where you guys can see what I'm saying to you 2386 01:54:08.120 --> 01:54:10.960 about when you're trying to live outside of the grace 2387 01:54:10.960 --> 01:54:13.640 that has been extended to you for where you are. 2388 01:54:13.640 --> 01:54:16.680 And you started by talking about stuff so early. 2389 01:54:16.680 --> 01:54:17.760 You're talking about marriage. 2390 01:54:17.760 --> 01:54:20.000 I'm telling you, it literally causes you to panic. 2391 01:54:20.000 --> 01:54:21.600 I don't know whoever's been in this. 2392 01:54:21.600 --> 01:54:23.160 I've been in it before. 2393 01:54:23.160 --> 01:54:24.700 It's overwhelming. 2394 01:54:25.560 --> 01:54:28.200 And it feels like you have to make all these decisions. 2395 01:54:28.200 --> 01:54:29.040 And you do not 2396 01:54:29.040 --> 01:54:31.400 because you're living out of the grace space. 2397 01:54:31.400 --> 01:54:33.520 You got to come back to where you are, Joanne. 2398 01:54:33.520 --> 01:54:36.240 If you want to go up and visit, it should just be a visit. 2399 01:54:36.240 --> 01:54:38.440 It shouldn't be to see if I can live here. 2400 01:54:38.440 --> 01:54:40.520 It shouldn't be to see any of that. 2401 01:54:40.520 --> 01:54:43.160 No, no, I know what I'm saying. 2402 01:54:43.680 --> 01:54:44.520 I know you're not doing it 2403 01:54:44.520 --> 01:54:46.560 but any futuristic things you have, 2404 01:54:46.560 --> 01:54:47.800 you got to measure back down. 2405 01:54:47.800 --> 01:54:50.560 Like, hey, we're just coming to get to know each other. 2406 01:54:50.560 --> 01:54:52.280 Better stop talking about marriage. 2407 01:54:52.280 --> 01:54:53.800 I don't care if he talks about it. 2408 01:54:53.800 --> 01:54:55.600 Tell him you're not going to talk about that anymore 2409 01:54:55.600 --> 01:54:57.040 because it's not healthy. 2410 01:54:57.040 --> 01:54:59.880 Listen, God can't even talk to y'all. 2411 01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:06.560 Because you too busy doing all the talking. Somebody says I have to steal 2412 01:55:06.560 --> 01:55:12.240 away, that means they can't even hear the Father. I got to get away from this so I 2413 01:55:12.240 --> 01:55:17.600 can hear. Why have you created a relationship where y'all can't hear Jesus? 2414 01:55:17.600 --> 01:55:25.360 You're talking too much. You're saying too much. You're planning too much. And so 2415 01:55:25.360 --> 01:55:29.740 this escape has to happen when it doesn't have to be that way. And so what 2416 01:55:29.740 --> 01:55:36.220 I am saying to you, Joanne, it's time for you to take back the wheel as a woman who 2417 01:55:36.220 --> 01:55:40.140 has a coach that's coaching your community, that's helping you and say 2418 01:55:40.140 --> 01:55:48.700 this is a no future zone. This is a no talking about marriage zone. This is a no 2419 01:55:48.700 --> 01:55:55.700 whatever y'all are talking about. Stop and let's just be. I know that's what will 2420 01:55:55.700 --> 01:56:00.700 help me be because I think that we'll talk about oh and then this and then I 2421 01:56:00.700 --> 01:56:04.700 get my expectations high, you know, and it doesn't do any good. It's no good 2422 01:56:04.700 --> 01:56:10.060 fruit for me or him. I know. We're intentional, you know. Yeah, so 2423 01:56:10.060 --> 01:56:14.180 intentionality is not just because we talk about marriage. Intentionality means 2424 01:56:14.180 --> 01:56:22.620 you're intentional about ordering your life. It means that you operate in wisdom. 2425 01:56:22.660 --> 01:56:28.660 That's intentionality. Intentionality says I'm gonna talk to you at 2426 01:56:28.660 --> 01:56:32.620 eight o'clock and at 30 we're gonna stop talking. I am intentional about my time. 2427 01:56:32.620 --> 01:56:36.820 Intentionality is not just in dating about do we want to be together or don't 2428 01:56:36.820 --> 01:56:45.540 we want to be together. It's am I willing to invest to get to know you and that's 2429 01:56:45.540 --> 01:56:48.780 what you should be intentional about right now. That's what he should be 2430 01:56:48.780 --> 01:56:52.020 intentional about right now and if he doesn't know how to set this boundary 2431 01:56:52.020 --> 01:56:55.700 and you ladies we are well over time it's 8 57 you free please don't ever 2432 01:56:55.700 --> 01:57:00.500 feel that you have to stay. We're usually done at 8 30. You got to set the 2433 01:57:00.500 --> 01:57:03.180 boundaries and you got to say this is what it's gonna be if we're gonna move 2434 01:57:03.180 --> 01:57:07.220 forward so when you talk back to him don't ask about these tickets no more 2435 01:57:07.220 --> 01:57:15.380 let it ride. Just let it ride. Actually wanting to go see him so quickly behind 2436 01:57:15.380 --> 01:57:20.940 when he just saw you it creates even more momentum. Let it ride. Take a two 2437 01:57:20.940 --> 01:57:26.620 week three week break. Everybody take a break. Everybody breathe. It will serve 2438 01:57:26.620 --> 01:57:31.020 you best. If you don't slow this thing down it will cost you what you don't 2439 01:57:31.020 --> 01:57:37.060 want to pay and it's not worth it. But I think if he is if he's great as you say 2440 01:57:37.060 --> 01:57:42.540 is he is worth getting to know. He is worth seeing as a person and not as a 2441 01:57:42.540 --> 01:57:48.620 future husband and you are worth it Joanne. You are 48 and he 40 some they 2442 01:57:48.620 --> 01:57:54.420 did what y'all ain't got time for these shenanigans y'all doing. Don't don't get 2443 01:57:54.420 --> 01:57:59.940 caught up in it. It's a it's a robber of your time. It's taking from you. You think 2444 01:57:59.940 --> 01:58:04.140 you're adding and you're getting the momentum. You're not. You're being robbed 2445 01:58:04.140 --> 01:58:09.820 of your peace. Did somebody got to say I need some time to lower I'm overwhelmed 2446 01:58:09.820 --> 01:58:19.980 and y'all knocking at the door 50. If you want to be intentional and you don't have time 2447 01:58:19.980 --> 01:58:28.140 don't give your time to things that don't pay. Don't give a reward. Okay so do 2448 01:58:28.140 --> 01:58:33.420 you think I should still date other guys? I think you can date other people if you 2449 01:58:33.420 --> 01:58:39.460 want to Joanne but you know if you want to invest and see where this could go 2450 01:58:39.460 --> 01:58:43.660 with him invest and see where it could go with him. You've done seven dates. You've 2451 01:58:43.660 --> 01:58:48.620 done well over seven dates. So you're not trying to get to some seven date mark. 2452 01:58:48.620 --> 01:58:54.820 Why is it we should figure out if they're our husband. We don't want to talk about marriage too soon because we don't like the unknown control. 2453 01:58:54.820 --> 01:59:01.980 All of those things Audrey. All of those things and you're walking by faith. You 2454 01:59:01.980 --> 01:59:04.700 want to know who your spouse is just to add to that because it goes in what 2455 01:59:04.700 --> 01:59:11.860 you're saying. Your faith in this thing God with the Lord. You're excited. I am. He's great. 2456 01:59:11.860 --> 01:59:16.820 So this is the thing. So Joanne you know it's nothing wrong with you stopping 2457 01:59:16.820 --> 01:59:21.540 and saying let me invest in this and see what this is. That don't mean you 2458 01:59:21.540 --> 01:59:25.180 exclusive. You shouldn't be exclusive. You definitely need to wait for 90 2459 01:59:25.180 --> 01:59:34.300 days before you go exclusive. 90? Yes 90. You need to do all 30, 60, 90. Yes Joanne. 2460 01:59:34.860 --> 01:59:43.900 Okay. All right. I'm halfway. Are y'all exclusive? No we're not. We're going to decide when I go visit 2461 01:59:43.900 --> 01:59:49.020 and then we can find out whatever. We're not exclusive. But I feel like we're acting like 2462 01:59:49.020 --> 01:59:53.580 that. So it's like confusing for me. It's like I know it's confusing because you are acting like 2463 01:59:53.580 --> 01:59:58.300 that because anytime you talk about marriage and immigration and what it's going to take. 2464 01:59:58.300 --> 01:59:59.980 Yeah you acting like you exclusive. 2465 02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:02.800 if you act like you're headed to the altar. 2466 02:00:02.800 --> 02:00:05.200 I know, that's why it's confusing. 2467 02:00:05.200 --> 02:00:06.400 And then he wants to slow it down. 2468 02:00:06.400 --> 02:00:08.120 So I'm like, so confused. 2469 02:00:08.120 --> 02:00:08.960 Like what? 2470 02:00:10.680 --> 02:00:13.680 Diane is so funny, y'all, so funny. 2471 02:00:15.560 --> 02:00:19.200 Okay, so let's just stop this foolishness. 2472 02:00:19.200 --> 02:00:21.120 Let's stop this foolishness. 2473 02:00:21.120 --> 02:00:23.480 Act like you're somebody who been in this program 2474 02:00:23.480 --> 02:00:24.320 for a while. 2475 02:00:24.320 --> 02:00:26.880 You know the boundaries, set them, grab that code. 2476 02:00:26.880 --> 02:00:29.520 When you talk back to him, say, I am gonna pace. 2477 02:00:29.560 --> 02:00:31.000 This is what I'm gonna be doing 2478 02:00:31.000 --> 02:00:33.320 so that you can understand where I am. 2479 02:00:33.320 --> 02:00:35.720 And I can't require it of you, 2480 02:00:35.720 --> 02:00:37.520 but this is what I'm requiring of myself 2481 02:00:37.520 --> 02:00:40.320 because I think that you're worth getting to know. 2482 02:00:40.320 --> 02:00:43.920 And we are knocking on the door 50 2483 02:00:43.920 --> 02:00:46.520 and both of us want a kingdom marriage. 2484 02:00:46.520 --> 02:00:50.360 And the way we get there is taking these steps. 2485 02:00:50.360 --> 02:00:52.400 And don't go back and forth because you did this 2486 02:00:52.400 --> 02:00:55.240 and you done, no, no, no, just don't do that. 2487 02:00:55.240 --> 02:00:56.680 I'm telling you, it leads you 2488 02:00:56.680 --> 02:00:58.000 into all these bigger conversations. 2489 02:00:58.000 --> 02:00:59.360 Well, I said that because this, 2490 02:00:59.360 --> 02:01:00.200 and then I said, and I feel like this. 2491 02:01:00.200 --> 02:01:02.000 I know, and it's draining. 2492 02:01:02.000 --> 02:01:05.040 It drains, especially a man, it's so draining. 2493 02:01:05.040 --> 02:01:07.440 I know, and all this, I feel like the Lord is. 2494 02:01:07.440 --> 02:01:10.600 I don't feel like the Lord, no, feel like wisdom. 2495 02:01:12.200 --> 02:01:13.560 Feel like wisdom. 2496 02:01:14.840 --> 02:01:17.400 None of the things of God are without wisdom. 2497 02:01:17.400 --> 02:01:18.680 They're not void of wisdom. 2498 02:01:18.680 --> 02:01:20.720 You are not operating wisdom. 2499 02:01:20.720 --> 02:01:22.160 God operating wisdom. 2500 02:01:23.520 --> 02:01:24.680 Okay. Yeah. 2501 02:01:24.680 --> 02:01:26.040 Yes, thank you so much. 2502 02:01:26.040 --> 02:01:27.440 I'm so glad I interrupted 2503 02:01:27.880 --> 02:01:29.120 because I almost was like, all right, 2504 02:01:29.120 --> 02:01:30.920 I guess I'm not gonna ask a question. 2505 02:01:30.920 --> 02:01:34.640 I'm sorry, Joey, I done skipped you so many times. 2506 02:01:36.240 --> 02:01:37.880 Okay, go ahead, Rebecca. 2507 02:01:37.880 --> 02:01:40.160 And then we're gonna wrap it up with Rebecca. 2508 02:01:42.680 --> 02:01:44.640 See, Joey, your hand is still up. 2509 02:01:48.520 --> 02:01:49.360 Rebecca. 2510 02:01:50.840 --> 02:01:53.360 Oh, so mine's actually not about dating, 2511 02:01:53.360 --> 02:01:56.520 but I thought I might give it a try. 2512 02:01:57.960 --> 02:02:01.960 So no, it's just, I actually wanted to get, 2513 02:02:01.960 --> 02:02:04.800 come on and ask for prayer. 2514 02:02:04.800 --> 02:02:05.640 Yeah. 2515 02:02:08.600 --> 02:02:11.000 What do you want prayer about? 2516 02:02:11.000 --> 02:02:12.680 It's been a hard year. 2517 02:02:12.680 --> 02:02:13.520 Yeah. 2518 02:02:14.680 --> 02:02:18.760 I've literally earned no money this last year 2519 02:02:19.680 --> 02:02:21.480 for 13 months. 2520 02:02:21.480 --> 02:02:26.480 And it's just, you know, I have a lot of dreams and desires. 2521 02:02:27.800 --> 02:02:28.640 Yeah. 2522 02:02:28.640 --> 02:02:29.480 And, 2523 02:02:32.720 --> 02:02:36.840 betrayed by like one of my subcontractors. 2524 02:02:36.840 --> 02:02:37.680 Yeah. 2525 02:02:38.760 --> 02:02:40.560 Someone couldn't believe that, 2526 02:02:41.440 --> 02:02:44.160 you know, I haven't had a boyfriend for 19 years 2527 02:02:44.160 --> 02:02:46.800 and they weren't being nice. 2528 02:02:46.800 --> 02:02:49.720 It might've been like a mocking spirit. 2529 02:02:49.720 --> 02:02:53.320 So I just got on here for encouragement. 2530 02:02:54.960 --> 02:02:56.440 Yeah. 2531 02:02:57.440 --> 02:02:59.800 Is there some more you wanna share? 2532 02:02:59.800 --> 02:03:01.120 I don't want you to cut it out. 2533 02:03:01.120 --> 02:03:02.520 I want you to share your heart 2534 02:03:02.520 --> 02:03:05.400 so that when we pray, we'll take care of all of this. 2535 02:03:05.400 --> 02:03:08.520 So do you do like real estate or flip houses? 2536 02:03:08.520 --> 02:03:09.800 What happened with a contractor? 2537 02:03:09.800 --> 02:03:12.840 Was it your house that they were doing work on? 2538 02:03:12.840 --> 02:03:13.800 Oh, no. 2539 02:03:13.800 --> 02:03:18.160 So I do, I'm self-employed. 2540 02:03:18.160 --> 02:03:21.600 I'm a medical device reimbursement consultant. 2541 02:03:22.600 --> 02:03:26.200 So I like, yeah. 2542 02:03:28.880 --> 02:03:32.320 So a lot of it's just been a hard time 2543 02:03:32.320 --> 02:03:33.680 not believing in myself, 2544 02:03:33.680 --> 02:03:36.200 but I'm also kind of made to be social 2545 02:03:36.200 --> 02:03:38.000 and I had to do a lot of stuff my own 2546 02:03:38.000 --> 02:03:43.000 and it just, you know, old stuff, overwhelmed. 2547 02:03:45.760 --> 02:03:48.040 So the momentum was lost. 2548 02:03:48.040 --> 02:03:48.880 Yeah. 2549 02:03:48.880 --> 02:03:49.720 Yeah. 2550 02:03:50.160 --> 02:03:52.240 Deciding which people to, 2551 02:03:52.240 --> 02:03:54.880 which leads to actually follow up on and stuff, 2552 02:03:54.880 --> 02:03:56.400 not getting to all of them. 2553 02:03:58.360 --> 02:04:02.680 And no, and then in just my, 2554 02:04:02.680 --> 02:04:06.200 so what I'm doing is I'm kind of refocusing. 2555 02:04:06.200 --> 02:04:08.400 I'm getting a certificate 2556 02:04:08.400 --> 02:04:12.920 cause my subcontractor was how like I was able 2557 02:04:12.920 --> 02:04:15.280 to do a little more breadth of stuff. 2558 02:04:15.520 --> 02:04:20.520 So I have a plan to get that certificate, 2559 02:04:22.240 --> 02:04:24.560 but I guess it's just mostly it's, 2560 02:04:28.480 --> 02:04:32.080 I know in my own strength, I can't do it, obviously. 2561 02:04:33.520 --> 02:04:34.360 But. 2562 02:04:35.760 --> 02:04:36.600 Yeah. 2563 02:04:37.720 --> 02:04:40.240 And so if you could pick in, 2564 02:04:40.240 --> 02:04:42.200 Susan, are you still on the line? 2565 02:04:46.280 --> 02:04:47.120 Okay. 2566 02:04:49.200 --> 02:04:51.760 Susan is, and the reason why I'm asking for her, 2567 02:04:51.760 --> 02:04:53.720 I'm going to start us off in prayer 2568 02:04:53.720 --> 02:04:56.040 and then I'm going to ask the community. 2569 02:04:56.040 --> 02:05:00.120 Many of us are, we have words of encouragement of you. 2570 02:05:00.000 --> 02:05:01.600 hear the father saying something, 2571 02:05:01.600 --> 02:05:04.800 would you please post those words in the chat? 2572 02:05:04.800 --> 02:05:08.160 And I will snap those words for you, Rebecca, 2573 02:05:08.160 --> 02:05:10.400 and then send them to you in an email. 2574 02:05:10.400 --> 02:05:11.720 But if you ladies will go ahead 2575 02:05:11.720 --> 02:05:13.280 and put any words of encouragement, 2576 02:05:13.280 --> 02:05:14.520 I see them coming in. 2577 02:05:14.520 --> 02:05:16.960 Any, if you flow and prophetic, 2578 02:05:16.960 --> 02:05:19.040 or if you feel like you hear the father's heart 2579 02:05:19.040 --> 02:05:21.720 for her saying something, please don't shy away. 2580 02:05:21.720 --> 02:05:23.400 Let's put it in the chat. 2581 02:05:23.400 --> 02:05:28.320 Susan is a very successful sales individual, 2582 02:05:28.320 --> 02:05:29.680 if I could use the right words. 2583 02:05:29.680 --> 02:05:32.320 And I want her to release her grace over your life. 2584 02:05:32.320 --> 02:05:34.680 She's been very successful in that field. 2585 02:05:34.680 --> 02:05:35.880 Even though you're switching, 2586 02:05:35.880 --> 02:05:39.680 I want her to release the graces on her life. 2587 02:05:39.680 --> 02:05:42.360 God has put a grace on her life to make millions, 2588 02:05:42.360 --> 02:05:44.480 and I want her to release that over you. 2589 02:05:44.480 --> 02:05:47.840 And so I'm gonna start us off in praying for you. 2590 02:05:47.840 --> 02:05:50.480 Susan will follow up and release grace over you, 2591 02:05:50.480 --> 02:05:52.000 how the Lord leads her. 2592 02:05:52.000 --> 02:05:54.840 We're gonna be loading the chat with words for you, 2593 02:05:54.840 --> 02:05:57.320 what we feel like we hear the Lord saying. 2594 02:05:57.320 --> 02:05:59.520 I'm gonna give those words to you in an email, 2595 02:06:00.360 --> 02:06:03.880 so you don't have to try to rush over to write them down. 2596 02:06:03.880 --> 02:06:06.240 Do you understand what I'm saying? 2597 02:06:06.240 --> 02:06:08.920 Yeah, and so I'm gonna pick a starting place 2598 02:06:08.920 --> 02:06:11.800 to start praying for you right now, 2599 02:06:11.800 --> 02:06:12.920 what we're gonna be praying about. 2600 02:06:12.920 --> 02:06:15.240 So if there was one thing that you wanted me 2601 02:06:15.240 --> 02:06:17.840 in this community come in agreement with you on, 2602 02:06:17.840 --> 02:06:21.240 what is the one thing you would like from the Lord? 2603 02:06:21.240 --> 02:06:22.320 What do you want from the Lord? 2604 02:06:22.320 --> 02:06:27.320 Some of it is stuff that I know that I need to do, 2605 02:06:28.280 --> 02:06:30.640 but I do get sidetracked with the whole 2606 02:06:30.640 --> 02:06:34.040 like preparing for marriage and stuff. 2607 02:06:35.640 --> 02:06:37.640 So in some of it's just like, 2608 02:06:40.120 --> 02:06:45.120 when you've seen so much of the opposition, 2609 02:06:49.240 --> 02:06:53.480 you're wondering, okay, obviously God can do anything. 2610 02:06:53.480 --> 02:06:56.840 He can make a different pathway or not. 2611 02:06:58.120 --> 02:07:03.120 But I mean, sometimes I do think I'm trying it too much 2612 02:07:05.320 --> 02:07:08.920 on my own and that's a little bit just from wounds. 2613 02:07:11.560 --> 02:07:12.640 Yeah, okay. 2614 02:07:13.640 --> 02:07:16.200 So what I heard you say is you've been trying 2615 02:07:16.200 --> 02:07:17.960 to do things on your own. 2616 02:07:17.960 --> 02:07:20.480 There's been a lot of opposition that causes you 2617 02:07:20.480 --> 02:07:23.320 to kind of take your hands up and try to do it on your own. 2618 02:07:23.320 --> 02:07:25.640 So maybe operating out of sense of fear, 2619 02:07:25.640 --> 02:07:28.640 but there has been some, this is a lapse in time, right? 2620 02:07:28.640 --> 02:07:31.120 So it feels like the Lord isn't coming through. 2621 02:07:31.120 --> 02:07:32.120 There's a real thing. 2622 02:07:32.120 --> 02:07:35.440 Cause you said it's been a year since you've made any money. 2623 02:07:35.440 --> 02:07:37.000 So you've been- 2624 02:07:37.000 --> 02:07:39.840 Well, I've made some money, 2625 02:07:39.840 --> 02:07:43.840 but my 2025 taxes will be actually be negative. 2626 02:07:44.840 --> 02:07:46.460 So it's a lot of scarcity. 2627 02:07:47.560 --> 02:07:48.960 Yeah. 2628 02:07:48.960 --> 02:07:50.880 Financial scarcity, okay. 2629 02:07:50.880 --> 02:07:55.480 So, okay. 2630 02:07:56.520 --> 02:07:59.200 So I'm gonna ask you this question again. 2631 02:07:59.200 --> 02:08:01.200 What do you want the Lord to do for you? 2632 02:08:03.680 --> 02:08:05.280 Just encouragement. 2633 02:08:06.320 --> 02:08:10.920 Cause it seems like, it's like I don't trust him 2634 02:08:10.920 --> 02:08:12.280 cause it's been so long. 2635 02:08:14.800 --> 02:08:15.640 Right. 2636 02:08:17.720 --> 02:08:18.800 What else? 2637 02:08:18.800 --> 02:08:20.840 I hear something else hiding out in there 2638 02:08:20.840 --> 02:08:24.080 that I needed to come forth, right? 2639 02:08:24.080 --> 02:08:27.080 So I wanna be very targeted. 2640 02:08:27.080 --> 02:08:27.920 Go ahead. 2641 02:08:27.920 --> 02:08:29.160 Yeah. 2642 02:08:29.160 --> 02:08:32.780 Yeah, I know that he's gonna come through. 2643 02:08:33.840 --> 02:08:35.160 Yeah. 2644 02:08:35.160 --> 02:08:36.680 For me specifically. 2645 02:08:38.080 --> 02:08:40.720 You need to know that you need a reassurance. 2646 02:08:42.080 --> 02:08:43.480 Is that what you're saying? 2647 02:08:45.680 --> 02:08:46.520 Yeah. 2648 02:08:46.520 --> 02:08:50.280 Cause it's like, I had a dream two nights ago 2649 02:08:50.280 --> 02:08:52.240 that like everything was okay 2650 02:08:52.240 --> 02:08:54.680 with the person who betrayed me. 2651 02:08:54.680 --> 02:08:56.600 And like, I actually felt the peace. 2652 02:08:58.760 --> 02:09:00.640 And so it's like that feeling, 2653 02:09:00.640 --> 02:09:05.640 like I know some things about, I guess my future, 2654 02:09:08.680 --> 02:09:11.760 but it's like feeling that, 2655 02:09:11.760 --> 02:09:15.440 feeling in a dream was very special. 2656 02:09:16.360 --> 02:09:17.200 Yeah. 2657 02:09:17.200 --> 02:09:18.040 Okay. 2658 02:09:20.040 --> 02:09:20.880 Okay. 2659 02:09:22.800 --> 02:09:23.640 Yeah. 2660 02:09:25.280 --> 02:09:26.360 Is that everything? 2661 02:09:31.920 --> 02:09:32.760 Now I'm telling you- 2662 02:09:32.760 --> 02:09:35.000 Yeah, I think that's the short term. 2663 02:09:35.000 --> 02:09:37.840 When I pray and these women agree with me, 2664 02:09:37.840 --> 02:09:41.200 the Bible says that where the two come and agree on a thing 2665 02:09:41.200 --> 02:09:43.560 that that thing will be established in the earth. 2666 02:09:43.560 --> 02:09:46.760 So I don't send up prayers that don't get answers. 2667 02:09:47.560 --> 02:09:49.880 This train is about to leave the station. 2668 02:09:49.880 --> 02:09:51.080 And the next thing you know, 2669 02:09:51.080 --> 02:09:53.920 that manifestations are gonna be knocking at your door. 2670 02:09:53.920 --> 02:09:56.360 So if there's anything else you wanna put in this train 2671 02:09:56.360 --> 02:09:57.440 before I leave the station, 2672 02:09:57.440 --> 02:09:58.880 you better drop it on in now 2673 02:09:58.880 --> 02:10:00.280 cause we about to choo-choo. 2674 02:10:00.000 --> 02:10:01.200 Do it, take out. 2675 02:10:02.080 --> 02:10:02.920 All right. 2676 02:10:02.920 --> 02:10:05.600 Yeah, and I'd like more success with dating. 2677 02:10:05.600 --> 02:10:06.640 Okay. 2678 02:10:06.640 --> 02:10:08.560 I've done one date this last year, 2679 02:10:08.560 --> 02:10:11.120 so I'd like to get to the seven. 2680 02:10:11.120 --> 02:10:13.000 All right, I'd like to get to the seven. 2681 02:10:13.000 --> 02:10:15.040 So Father God, we just thank you for Rebecca. 2682 02:10:15.040 --> 02:10:17.060 We thank you for her vulnerability. 2683 02:10:17.060 --> 02:10:18.480 You said in the book of Psalms 2684 02:10:18.480 --> 02:10:20.660 that you are close to the brokenhearted, 2685 02:10:20.660 --> 02:10:22.500 that you actually draw closer to us 2686 02:10:22.500 --> 02:10:23.500 when our heart is broken, 2687 02:10:23.500 --> 02:10:25.640 because it's so interesting when our heart is broken, 2688 02:10:25.640 --> 02:10:27.840 we feel so far away from you. 2689 02:10:27.880 --> 02:10:30.500 But you said a contrite and broken spirit, 2690 02:10:30.500 --> 02:10:32.200 you will not deny. 2691 02:10:32.200 --> 02:10:33.480 And so I thank you on tonight 2692 02:10:33.480 --> 02:10:35.200 that as we come before your throne, 2693 02:10:35.200 --> 02:10:37.940 that you will not deny Rebecca, 2694 02:10:37.940 --> 02:10:40.200 that you are waiting to receive her 2695 02:10:40.200 --> 02:10:42.440 and to receive us as we stand in agreement 2696 02:10:42.440 --> 02:10:45.120 with all of heaven about the book of destiny 2697 02:10:45.120 --> 02:10:47.440 that is in heaven about her life. 2698 02:10:47.440 --> 02:10:49.520 And so Father God, I declare on tonight 2699 02:10:49.520 --> 02:10:50.960 that thy kingdom will come 2700 02:10:50.960 --> 02:10:52.960 and that your will will be done in her life. 2701 02:10:52.960 --> 02:10:54.760 And everything that has come to block her, 2702 02:10:54.760 --> 02:10:56.640 everything that has come to stop her 2703 02:10:56.640 --> 02:10:58.840 by the power and the blood of Jesus Christ, 2704 02:10:58.840 --> 02:11:02.080 I command it to stop right now in the name of Jesus. 2705 02:11:02.080 --> 02:11:04.720 I scatter every confusing spirit. 2706 02:11:04.720 --> 02:11:06.920 I scatter every spirit that has come 2707 02:11:06.920 --> 02:11:09.400 to oppose her destiny in you. 2708 02:11:09.400 --> 02:11:13.380 And I say, let your will be done in her life right now. 2709 02:11:13.380 --> 02:11:15.240 Father God, I thank you that David said, 2710 02:11:15.240 --> 02:11:18.420 I have never seen the righteous forsaken 2711 02:11:18.420 --> 02:11:20.200 nor his seed begging bread. 2712 02:11:20.200 --> 02:11:23.840 I declare that your daughter will not be begging for bread 2713 02:11:23.840 --> 02:11:25.840 because she is your seed. 2714 02:11:25.840 --> 02:11:28.640 I declare that you are a God of extravagance, 2715 02:11:28.640 --> 02:11:30.600 that you are a God of prospering. 2716 02:11:30.600 --> 02:11:32.160 You prosper your people. 2717 02:11:32.160 --> 02:11:34.320 And I declare Lord God that your promises 2718 02:11:34.320 --> 02:11:38.240 are being made manifest in her life this very moment. 2719 02:11:38.240 --> 02:11:40.300 I thank you Lord God that when we come together, 2720 02:11:40.300 --> 02:11:42.400 you said that one slays a thousand, 2721 02:11:42.400 --> 02:11:44.480 but two slays tens of thousands. 2722 02:11:44.480 --> 02:11:47.280 Look how many women are on this line tonight. 2723 02:11:47.280 --> 02:11:50.480 We're gonna slay more than tens of thousands, oh God. 2724 02:11:50.480 --> 02:11:52.320 And so I thank you right now 2725 02:11:52.320 --> 02:11:55.040 that this thing is being made manifest in her life. 2726 02:11:55.040 --> 02:11:57.440 I thank you that when the saints get together, 2727 02:11:57.440 --> 02:12:02.440 when the believers come together to pray, you answer us. 2728 02:12:02.680 --> 02:12:05.040 And so Father, I thank you for Rebecca. 2729 02:12:05.040 --> 02:12:08.760 I thank you Lord God that you are invested in her life. 2730 02:12:08.760 --> 02:12:11.240 I thank you Lord God, though this year and this season 2731 02:12:11.240 --> 02:12:14.360 has been hard, that there are greater days before her. 2732 02:12:14.360 --> 02:12:16.200 I thank you Lord God that her ladder 2733 02:12:16.200 --> 02:12:18.320 shall be greater than her past. 2734 02:12:18.320 --> 02:12:20.320 I thank you Lord God that you're bringing her 2735 02:12:20.320 --> 02:12:23.160 into the greater glory, oh God. 2736 02:12:23.160 --> 02:12:24.880 I thank you Lord God that she will see 2737 02:12:25.720 --> 02:12:26.560 that she has not been forsaken. 2738 02:12:26.560 --> 02:12:28.640 This was not for not, but it's because 2739 02:12:28.640 --> 02:12:31.760 that you were working the greatest good in her life. 2740 02:12:31.760 --> 02:12:33.920 And I thank you for God, I believe it. 2741 02:12:33.920 --> 02:12:36.120 Even if she can't see it right now, 2742 02:12:36.120 --> 02:12:38.400 I believe it for her, oh God. 2743 02:12:38.400 --> 02:12:39.360 And so we thank you. 2744 02:12:39.360 --> 02:12:40.760 Go ahead, Susan. 2745 02:12:40.760 --> 02:12:42.320 We're gonna let Susan pray now. 2746 02:12:44.320 --> 02:12:47.840 Lord, thank you so much for this community. 2747 02:12:47.840 --> 02:12:49.000 Thank you for Rebecca. 2748 02:12:49.920 --> 02:12:50.760 And Lord, just thank you 2749 02:12:50.760 --> 02:12:53.240 for her vulnerability to share tonight. 2750 02:12:53.240 --> 02:12:54.280 And Lord, we just thank you 2751 02:12:54.280 --> 02:12:56.600 that your word does not return void. 2752 02:12:56.600 --> 02:12:59.400 And that as of tonight, her situation is shifting. 2753 02:13:00.920 --> 02:13:03.600 And we just thank you that you are her shepherd 2754 02:13:03.600 --> 02:13:05.560 and she shall not want. 2755 02:13:05.560 --> 02:13:06.760 You are a God of abundance. 2756 02:13:06.760 --> 02:13:09.680 You don't just meet our needs, you meet our wants. 2757 02:13:09.680 --> 02:13:11.080 You are extravagant. 2758 02:13:12.200 --> 02:13:15.520 And we just thank you that you're not a respecter of persons 2759 02:13:15.520 --> 02:13:17.080 what you did for Rebecca, 2760 02:13:17.080 --> 02:13:20.080 what you did for me, you will do for Rebecca. 2761 02:13:20.080 --> 02:13:23.200 And I just released the power to get wealth over her. 2762 02:13:24.200 --> 02:13:28.520 I released the grace of financial prosperity over her. 2763 02:13:28.520 --> 02:13:30.040 Yes. 2764 02:13:30.040 --> 02:13:31.880 I thank you for the gift of tithing 2765 02:13:31.880 --> 02:13:34.360 and that wealth is in tithing. 2766 02:13:34.360 --> 02:13:39.360 And I thank you that you are giving her favor 2767 02:13:39.840 --> 02:13:43.840 with people, that it's not just about her and her knowledge, 2768 02:13:43.840 --> 02:13:47.640 but it's about you putting the right people in the place 2769 02:13:47.640 --> 02:13:49.960 that she can utilize their expertise 2770 02:13:50.840 --> 02:13:51.680 and their knowledge. 2771 02:13:51.680 --> 02:13:54.480 And yes, Lord, I just thank you 2772 02:13:54.480 --> 02:13:57.680 that you're restoring everything, 2773 02:13:57.680 --> 02:14:00.760 that the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the righteous, 2774 02:14:00.760 --> 02:14:03.960 that there is a divine wealth transfer going on. 2775 02:14:03.960 --> 02:14:06.760 And I thank you that she has favor with clients, 2776 02:14:06.760 --> 02:14:09.840 favor with people everywhere she goes, 2777 02:14:09.840 --> 02:14:12.240 that people wanna do business with her. 2778 02:14:12.240 --> 02:14:15.440 And I thank you, I declare 120% restoration. 2779 02:14:15.440 --> 02:14:17.200 I believe it's in Leviticus. 2780 02:14:17.200 --> 02:14:19.520 And I just declare that over Rebecca. 2781 02:14:20.080 --> 02:14:20.920 And we just thank you, Lord, 2782 02:14:20.920 --> 02:14:22.480 that you love her like crazy 2783 02:14:22.480 --> 02:14:25.200 and that you're working all things together for good. 2784 02:14:26.280 --> 02:14:27.720 Jesus name. 2785 02:14:27.720 --> 02:14:28.760 Jesus name. 2786 02:14:28.760 --> 02:14:31.640 I thank you, Father God, that you have a spouse for her. 2787 02:14:31.640 --> 02:14:32.480 I thank you, Lord God, 2788 02:14:32.480 --> 02:14:34.400 that you're bringing her into the positioning 2789 02:14:34.400 --> 02:14:37.680 that she needs to be for the husband that you have for her. 2790 02:14:37.680 --> 02:14:39.440 I thank you, Lord, that she's not forsaken. 2791 02:14:39.440 --> 02:14:42.480 The Bible says, Jesus wrote in Luke and in Matthew, 2792 02:14:42.480 --> 02:14:46.520 he said, if a child asks his father for bread, 2793 02:14:46.520 --> 02:14:48.200 would he give him a stone? 2794 02:14:48.280 --> 02:14:50.920 If he asked him for fish, would he give him a snake? 2795 02:14:50.920 --> 02:14:53.320 He said, now you being evil of heart 2796 02:14:53.320 --> 02:14:55.480 know how to give good gifts to your children. 2797 02:14:55.480 --> 02:14:58.520 What more my father in heaven know how to give to you? 2798 02:14:58.520 --> 02:14:59.720 So I thank you, Lord God, 2799 02:14:59.720 --> 02:15:00.560 that as we. 2800 02:15:00.000 --> 02:15:05.200 come before you on tonight you're not giving us a stone you're not giving us a snake but you're 2801 02:15:05.200 --> 02:15:09.200 giving her provision that you're giving her wholeness i thank you lord god that this is the 2802 02:15:09.200 --> 02:15:14.960 year starting this month of march that she shall prosper even as her soul prospers i declare over 2803 02:15:14.960 --> 02:15:21.680 her life that this is a month of bursting forth oh god i bring her into the flow of the spirit 2804 02:15:21.680 --> 02:15:27.200 that your calendar lord god your timetable that says that this is a month of acceleration i 2805 02:15:27.200 --> 02:15:32.560 declare that everybody that looks upon her will say see what the lord has done for rebecca oh 2806 02:15:32.560 --> 02:15:37.520 look how he has blessed her she should be like the children of israel in the book of psalms when they 2807 02:15:37.520 --> 02:15:43.200 say when we came out of captivity we were like a people who had been set free you said in the 2808 02:15:43.200 --> 02:15:47.040 book of psalms that we would be like those who sow in tears they will come back bringing 2809 02:15:47.840 --> 02:15:54.640 baskets full of sheaves and joy and it will be laughter in their voices and they will be laughing 2810 02:15:54.640 --> 02:16:00.000 over all the things that you've done for them i declare that that is rebecca oh god i thank you 2811 02:16:00.000 --> 02:16:06.480 lord god that the time is here that she's not next she is now she is not tomorrow she is today i thank 2812 02:16:06.480 --> 02:16:11.840 you for sweet sleep i think that she gets to rest in the arm of her father and i declare that her 2813 02:16:11.840 --> 02:16:21.840 season and her time of change has come and we all agree and say amen amen amen thank you guys for 2814 02:16:21.840 --> 02:16:27.760 hanging in there i want to read this prophetic word that um i've copied and pasted them and 2815 02:16:27.760 --> 02:16:33.680 they're loading it in um the first one that i see here is from jasmine but those who wait on 2816 02:16:33.680 --> 02:16:37.600 the lord shall renew their strength they shall mount up with wings like eagles they shall run 2817 02:16:37.600 --> 02:16:42.959 and not be weary they shall walk and not faint i've been clearing over you rebecca right now 2818 02:16:42.959 --> 02:16:48.959 but because rebecca has waited on the lord rebecca's strength shall be renewed rebecca 2819 02:16:49.040 --> 02:16:55.120 shall mount up with wings like eagles rebecca shall run and not be weary rebecca shall walk and not 2820 02:16:55.120 --> 02:17:00.000 faint and jasmine said god is saying do not be afraid for i the lord your god will provide for 2821 02:17:00.000 --> 02:17:04.719 you trust in the lord with all your heart lean not into your own understanding in all of your ways 2822 02:17:04.719 --> 02:17:09.680 acknowledge him and he will direct your path submit to me in all your ways and i will make 2823 02:17:09.680 --> 02:17:16.240 your path straight let go of fear anxiety and doubt but that is not your burden oh god we release 2824 02:17:16.240 --> 02:17:21.680 rebecca from the burden of fear anxiety and doubt we just take our hands as a prophetic act 2825 02:17:21.680 --> 02:17:26.559 and we dust it off her right now in the name of jesus and we declare that is not yours to carry 2826 02:17:26.559 --> 02:17:32.400 but jesus said cast all of your cares upon me because i care for you and we just release that 2827 02:17:32.400 --> 02:17:40.080 over you and she says we release it to really uh we release it so we can replace it with the 2828 02:17:40.080 --> 02:17:45.120 refilling of the fruits of the spirit you are almost there do not focus on what you see in 2829 02:17:45.120 --> 02:17:51.360 the natural state focus on the lord almighty for i will not let you be without you are stronger than 2830 02:17:51.360 --> 02:17:58.879 you know all right isaiah 40 29 and 31 he gives strength to the weary the lord gives strength to 2831 02:17:58.879 --> 02:18:05.520 rebecca and strengthens the powerless he strengthens he strengthens you rebecca youth may faint and 2832 02:18:05.520 --> 02:18:11.680 grow weary young men may stumble and fall but those who trust in the lord will renew their strength 2833 02:18:11.680 --> 02:18:16.480 they were sore on the wings like eagles they were running not go weary they were walking not faint 2834 02:18:17.200 --> 02:18:24.000 all right um and eloise jumped in on this train and she received those same prayers for financial 2835 02:18:24.000 --> 02:18:30.400 breakthrough job and health returning we declare that over you as well rebecca and over eloise we 2836 02:18:30.400 --> 02:18:36.320 stand in agreement with you she had a car wreck in february and um she's believing for a new car 2837 02:18:36.320 --> 02:18:44.639 that the lord has chosen for her um in a month of acceleration yes oh she has a new to me car 2838 02:18:44.639 --> 02:18:48.959 we're releasing that testimony over you rebecca she has a new to me car we release that's the 2839 02:18:48.959 --> 02:18:53.840 prospering the hand of god that's the testimony the bible says that we all come we are overcome 2840 02:18:53.840 --> 02:18:57.680 by the blood of the lamb and by the word of our testimonies and we did not love our lives unto 2841 02:18:57.680 --> 02:19:03.200 death and so we just declare that kingdom come that will be done on earth as it is in heaven 2842 02:19:03.200 --> 02:19:05.680 so i'm gonna get all of this to you um 2843 02:19:08.240 --> 02:19:13.760 susan gave another testimony and i know it's late but it's something when we read out what god has 2844 02:19:13.760 --> 02:19:19.440 done in the ears of those that can hear she says when i started in business i felt insecure incapable 2845 02:19:19.440 --> 02:19:24.320 and incompetent but god would do it take it one day at a time and know you're a favorite you are 2846 02:19:24.320 --> 02:19:30.879 god's girl do not give up you have a business partner and his name is god doesn't get any 2847 02:19:30.959 --> 02:19:38.719 better than that all right and so ladies you have been amazing and outstanding thank you for 2848 02:19:39.360 --> 02:19:43.520 i'm trying to copy and paste this before i uh once i leave out the chat i don't know how to 2849 02:19:43.520 --> 02:19:51.600 get back to it um uh you've been amazing for hanging in praying in agreement with us rebecca 2850 02:19:51.600 --> 02:19:58.240 i pray that your cup was full and i encourage you to be in great expectation um and i wanna 2851 02:19:58.240 --> 02:19:59.840 i want the praise report 2852 02:20:00.000 --> 02:20:04.960 and I want the testimony and I will continue making intercession on your behalf taking you 2853 02:20:04.960 --> 02:20:11.200 before the father because he is going to do it there is a power in the agreement of believers 2854 02:20:11.200 --> 02:20:18.000 you get you some believers you can get some stuff done everything originates in the spirit realm 2855 02:20:18.000 --> 02:20:23.120 and now that we've gotten the devil off your back because he was riding it show riding it honey 2856 02:20:23.840 --> 02:20:25.760 um you're gonna prosper and do well 2857 02:20:27.840 --> 02:20:34.080 i feel lighter yeah praise jesus there's the sign that the prisons already start working 2858 02:20:34.080 --> 02:20:40.800 you need to feel lighter so praise jesus all right ladies i have posted the activation i 2859 02:20:40.800 --> 02:20:45.360 told you about i'm gonna post it on the page rebecca please keep us updated on all the 2860 02:20:45.360 --> 02:20:49.360 things that god is doing in your life so that we can taste and see that god is good 2861 02:20:49.360 --> 02:20:58.400 it yeah okay good night ladies thanks ebony thanks everybody welcome good night car is 2862 02:20:58.400 --> 02:21:06.880 coming that news is coming breakthroughs breakthroughs breakthroughs breakthroughs 2863 02:21:06.880 --> 02:21:11.360 right yes good news upon good news upon good news yes 2864 02:21:11.920 --> 02:21:12.420 hello 2865 02:21:14.800 --> 02:21:19.600 y'all are amazing thanks ebony you're welcome you're welcome good night 2866 02:21:20.160 --> 02:21:27.840 you knocked it out of the park huh you knocked it out of the park oh well good i'm so thankful that 2867 02:21:27.840 --> 02:21:32.720 the lord was in our midst and eloise i'm excited for god is doing in your life i wish i had us 2868 02:21:32.720 --> 02:21:36.960 out there early i would have definitely included you in all the decorations but we just declared 2869 02:21:36.960 --> 02:21:42.400 a breakthrough over your life god is faithful and he is just there is no god like our god in all 2870 02:21:42.400 --> 02:21:47.120 the earth this description the book of something that says who is like our god among the gods who 2871 02:21:47.120 --> 02:21:52.560 is like him none and nobody he says that when the righteous cry out to him he will turn and come and 2872 02:21:52.560 --> 02:21:57.360 see about them and i believe that the lord is seeing about you on tonight and he is going to 2873 02:21:57.360 --> 02:22:01.760 do just what he said he's gonna do he's not a man that he should allow that he would have to repent 2874 02:22:01.760 --> 02:22:06.720 the bible says that he honored his word above his own name and so he's intent on doing that 2875 02:22:08.000 --> 02:22:15.600 yes yeah thank you thank you you're welcome all right good night ladies everybody all right 2876 02:22:16.640 --> 02:22:22.240 bye bye sweet dreams thank you