Hello, welcome. Good evening. Hi, everyone. Welcome for another session of heart work.
My name is Bethany Cooper. If you haven't met me before, I think I recognize most of
your names. I think y'all know me by now. I'll welcome more people as they come on.
Housekeeping items tonight. Some of y'all have heard this before and I have loved seeing
there was a couple people that have been in the community for a while and they did their
introduction post in the last few days. Y'all, these really matter because there's a level
of like, hey, I'm stepping out of just being here. Even if you come to the lives, like
Catherine posted a picture of her and her son and what led her to move to where she's
at. And these are just beautiful things that people like, there's just something about
learning those aspects about you all in this community. So introduction posts for all
of you, try to do those. If you've already done one before, I'm not saying you have to
do one again, but this is for anyone that even if you've been in here for weeks, months,
some of y'all have been in here a long time and never done an introduction post, please
do that. You want to do like use a picture of yourself that you like, something that
you feel confident about. Share a couple things about yourself, maybe some things you love
to do as well, what led you to this community. Anything at all is a win. Okay. So some of
y'all may feel led to share a little bit more. Some of you might be nervous, but either way,
doing the post and activating again, that coming out of hiding and being seen, known
and loved in this community is a huge step. And that is a win. If you create a post, just
keep in mind to keep that up. Don't get nervous and delete it because the team hasn't responded
yet. We typically respond within a good time frame. But just know like some people will
post something, especially when it's Repentance and Confession Week and Forgiveness. It happens
all the time. But especially on those weeks, people will post things about like what God
is leading them to process and then they get nervous and they take them down. So I try
to always remind you all every couple weeks, don't buy into that because you're safe here
and we're going to love you. We just might not have seen it yet. Or we might even be
processing what to respond because, you know, I don't know if you all know this, but we're
not machines. And so sometimes even some of the dreams that you all put in, we need to
pray through that and really ask the Lord, like what is He saying to us? And so just
again, don't buy into anything the enemy's lying to you about. Not that that's even happened.
Again, this is just something every couple weeks I kind of filter back into our housekeeping
items. Supernatural Saturday from this Saturday. Ready or not, here I come. If you didn't hear
it yet, definitely check that out. Jackie shared, you know, several different things,
but you know, what does it look like for us that when God is like the seeker and we're
the ones that not are hiding to never be found, but we want to be found. And not only that,
but we jump out and we're like, here I am. Yes, I know some of us feel like we do that.
But the way we live our lives actually says the opposite. It's actually telling a different
story. And so if you are someone that you just really don't feel that excited about
life, you don't feel excited about God finding you, there's probably something to that. Okay,
so that would be a revealing for healing and something I would encourage you to press into
with the Lord. But definitely check that out. There's so much more to what she shared on
Supernatural Saturday connected to that. I want to let you all know, you know, again, like we
really take the healing process like that's a huge priority. But if you all cannot catch the lives for
Supernatural Saturday that you would free to carve that time at some point in your week,
it's going to be a game changer. And this isn't just me telling you to show up. This is me telling
you what works for me. When I was in the heartwork, you all, I just kept showing up. I showed up to as
many things as I could. I didn't get religious about it. We're not going to get mad if you're
not there. None of that. Okay, we actually have people that have thought that like that they would
literally message me and say, Hey, just so you know, this is why I'm not going to be there. And
they would feel like they had to tell us y'all don't have to do that. Okay? This is your journey,
you get to own it however you want to. But what I am telling you is that what worked for me
was that like I went to as many prayer calls as I could. And some days even when I was working,
I would just listen in and I would like type something in the prayer chat, because I couldn't
talk. But like my written prayers were powerful to and my presence there was powerful to coming
to the live sessions like this.
this coming to Supernatural Saturday. Again, like anything that you can do, this isn't
a religious thing, but I just want you guys to know it's going to make a difference. It's
going to help accelerate your healing. You'll be so shocked at how many different things
that God will connect for you in this process. And for me, I read the book, you know, more
than once. I listened to Soul Tide, like so many of the videos, like after I did the course
and I would just like take the time to process, sometimes I would just put this stuff on when
I would be driving. Just like, instead of like listening to music, just to continue
to get that to absorb into my spirit and my soul further and further and the truth. Like,
there were times that I was getting revelation driving to work. Back in that time I was driving
to work. I wasn't working from home all the time, but I just want you to know it's going
to be worth it. I put in the little notification thing tonight. What came up in my spirit is
the reminder of what we put into it is what we're going to get out of it. Okay? And that's
not a shame statement. Some of you all are fighting massive distraction. The enemy is
going to do everything he can to try to keep you from finishing this course and staying
in this game, if you will. And so, stay in it. Okay? Stay in it to win it and you will
not regret it. Okay? Let me pray for us. Father, thank you so much for this night. God, I thank
you for the revealings for healing that are already happening. God, I thank you for expectation
to enter the room. We thank you, God, that you are the God of insanities. We thank you
that you would bring revelation and insight where there's been questions, where people
have felt stuck, where they haven't understood why things are not changing. God, I thank
you that you are the healer. You are the great physician. Nothing is too hard for you.
You are the one that created the heaven and the earth. God, you put every form in its
place. God, I thank you that you are the one that's going to give revelation. You're going
to bring insight. You're going to bring supernatural transformation and healing. God, we thank
you. We surrender the pen to you completely tonight. We ask you to bring things out of
darkness into the light so that there can be revealing for healing. Yes, Lord, the things
that are unknown, let them become known. Things that have been stuffed down and pushed
down for years, God, that we don't even remember that happened. But God, there are things that
are still tripping us up in the physical realm today. God, we're asking you to come in and
gently not expose those, but to reveal those. God, you're not a God of exposure. You're
a God of revealing. You're a God of unveiling so that we can see with greater revelation,
greater perspective. And we just thank you in advance for that tonight. Holy Spirit,
come and have your way. In Jesus name. Amen. Amen. So tonight we're talking about forgiveness.
It's going to be a powerful night. I'm hoping that you will take notes, that you will jot
things down as they come in your spirit. And I hope that you do that in every session that
you come to. You can always go back and re-listen to it later to absorb it more, but there's
going to be times where you are going to hear something and you're going to have a memory
drop in your mind or your spirit. You're going to have, some of you won't even know it's
a memory. You'll just have a fleeting thought. And I want you to capture those as much as
you can in this, not just tonight, but throughout your whole heart work process. Here's why.
Some of you are going to have this little inkling thought, and you're going to like
feel like, did that, did that actually happen? Or am I making that up in my mind? And what's
happening is that there are things that some of you, as I prayed have long forgotten, things
that you went through that because of survival mode, what happens is we, you know,
subconsciously push that stuff down and we just keep going. But that stuff is still in
there. If it's not been healed, if it's not been processed, it's still underneath the
surface. And at some point, you know, that stuff percolates to the top, it explodes to
the top, or it stays underneath of there. And it keeps getting us hung up every time
we try to move forward. And so I try to like, encourage you all to write down thoughts,
don't ever diminish something that you have a thought or like, you know, this one
time, um, gosh, it's been a while back now, this one lady in the group, she kept having
a memory about the playground with kids and some stuff that happened on the playground.
And she couldn't really connect the dots at that point. But she came in the group and
posted about it. You know, we gave her some feedback, prayed with her, told her that we
would continue to pray. You all throughout the next two weeks, what happened is that
that that was the initial thread, if you will. And God, as she prayed into that
situation, it actually connected to two other
really big events in her life, including something that happened with her uncle and just things
that he said to her that were very like big put downs and really like this was someone
she looked up to when she was younger. And see, this is how it works, right? There's
layers upon layers upon layers. So some of you are wondering why, you know, I've worked
through this before. Why am I still struggling with this? Well, it's because healing happens
in layers and so does forgiveness. Tonight we're talking about forgiveness. Some of you
all have forgiven people before and you're going to have memories come up regarding them
and some of them will be things that you already have forgiven. Here's the thing that I tried
to encourage everyone to think about. When you have a memory pop up in this process,
even if you've thought of it before, processed it before, you've done the work, I just want
you to ask the Lord, is there something new that you're trying to show me about this?
Is there something new that you're trying to show me about this? I feel the Holy Spirit
on this. We get frustrated with ourselves and we turn inward and we put ourselves down
like we didn't forgive right. We didn't do it right. We didn't do it enough. And that
is not true. Forgiveness is a choice. We choose to forgive. And when we choose to forgive,
it's an obedience, an act of obedience. Sometimes we're going to feel a big release and sometimes
we're not. But that doesn't negate your choice to forgive. And that doesn't mean that it
won't come back up again. Because there's probably another piece of that that God is
trying to show you something about. Now, I will also bring the balance to this. Sometimes
the enemy just tries to come at us and convince us that what we've done didn't work. He's
all about shame, guilt, and condemnation. If you have shame, guilt, and condemnation
always hovering around you and over you, y'all, that's the enemy. That's not the Father. And
the enemy is trying to convince you that you're never enough and that what you're doing is
never enough. That's kind of one of his big games. You're not enough, you're too much.
It's like back and forth, like a ping pong game. And that's underlying for a lot of people.
And so, I want you to think about this quote as well. This is from the Heart Work book,
but it is a quote by Martin Luther King Jr. And this is what it says.
We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power
to forgive is devoid of the power to love. I want you to think about that. I know that,
you know, we run in the circle of the church, most of us, and we know about love, right?
We're taught, like, left and right, God is love. God is love. Yes, we know God is love.
I'm supposed to love. I'm a Christian. I'm supposed to... But we, sometimes, we're always
kind of on the go, that we're not allowing it to really sink in, that if we have hatred for
another person, then love does not exist in us. I understand some of you, just like myself,
have gone through terrible things at the hands of other people. But God, as we're going to learn
tonight, calls us to forgive, because we are forgiven. When we start weighing, like, scales,
people's sin, and deciding that their sin is worse than our sin, it's a dangerous game,
and it's a slippery slope, y'all. We cannot, we cannot, because you know what? To God,
it's all the same. And I know it's hard for us to wrap our brain around sometimes,
at least it is for me. I'll claim it for myself. It's hard for me to think that somebody
overeating and being gluttonous is the same as someone molesting a child. But in the world
of sin, it is the same. Sin is sin. We, in this world, are the ones who try to decide
what is worse than another. God is asking us to cleanse our hearts and become holy as
He is holy, period. And to become holy as He is holy means that we let go of things
that would weigh us down, that clog us up, that, you know, don't allow the flow of the
river of the Holy Spirit to freely flow through us. And I want to point out that, you know,
that first part there, we must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. I want you
to be thinking about the word capacity throughout the heartwork and in the days ahead. You know,
people come into our program all the time for healing. Some don't come in for a relationship.
Some just want to get healed. A lot of people come in because they believe that God
has a spirit mate for them. But do you know how many times people will tell us that they don't
have time to date? That doesn't go together you all. So I'm going to encourage you in the heart
work. The enemy is going to try to convince you that you don't have time to do the heart work.
I want to encourage you to allow God to increase your capacity.
Your capacity is to heal. Your capacity to forgive. Your capacity to love yourself and
love other people the way God truly intended. This is a time for expansion within you.
And that's going to happen the more that you heal and the more that think about it.
There's a scripture in the Bible that says, you know, when the enemy gets cast out,
he goes to and fro and he comes back and he tries to find out if that house is
like, did something else fill that house? Or is that house empty and can I come back in?
I mean, the Bible talks about this stuff. So we got to cleanse. We got to cleanse and get
the stuff out that doesn't belong. But we need to be filled afresh with the Holy Spirit
and allow those places to be filled with new and amazing things. Okay. Forgiveness along with
repentance and confession is the only thing that has the power to put you back in touch with your
authentic identity. Remember that your authentic identity is who you were originally. Who God
created you to be before wounds, trauma, or any of that stuff ever entered your life. That is your
authentic identity. That's who God has called you to be. That's what he's trying to get us all to
like get back to those a little bit step further closer to that place each and every day.
Forgiveness is what actually breaks the tethers. So if you think about it,
I want you to think and imagine right now with me at a hot air balloon. Okay. And this hot air balloon
has not lifted off yet. It has all of the ropes holding it down to the ground. I don't know if
you guys have ever seen that hot air balloon lift off. They're all tied down to the ground
until it starts to get closer to lift off time. And then they start to remove the tethers that
are holding it to the ground. And I want you to imagine yourself as that hot air balloon.
That God is trying to heal you and cleanse you and remove all the tethers and all the things
that are holding you down, holding you back so that you can rise, so that you can soar,
so that you can, hey, let's just talk about feel free in the day to day.
That there's a new lightness about you, that there's people are going to start to say,
man, what's going on with you? You look different. You're like glowing.
This is the stuff that God wants to do in us. I love to tell the story of also when I was in
elementary school, I used to play tetherball. I don't know if anybody else in here has ever played
tetherball, but you know, there's the pole on the playground and then the rope that's connected to
the pole and then the ball's connected to the rope. Well, that ball, like kids we used to play
kids, we just stood around and we would hit the ball back and forth to each other.
And that ball would stay connected to the rope and the pole until somebody disconnected it from
there. Same kind of concept as the hot air balloon. It's tethered to it. It's stuck to it.
It's not going anywhere until somebody disconnects the rope from the pole or the ropes from the
ground. I want you to understand that forgiveness, when we forgive other people, we are releasing
them. But here's the reality. We are also released. If we don't forgive people,
literally what's happening is we are staying tethered to them and to the situation.
That's what's happening in the spirit realm. We're staying connected to them, connected to the
situation. That's why even a lot of people, you know, we don't label people here. We don't call
people narcissists. I get it. People, psychologists have diagnosed people. I know all that stuff, but
y'all, we don't label people here. And I'm never going to be upset with you if you guys come in
and say, he's a narcissist. I'm just going to be like, hey, this is how I like would recommend
saying that because here's the reality. People struggle with narcissism, sociopathic stuff.
People struggle with depression. People struggle with suicide. People struggle with pornography.
These are struggles that people are facing and walking through for different reasons.
People struggle with having sex outside of marriage again, but we get into the labeling game
and then we want someone else to extend mercy and grace to us.
Okay. So we're going to stay out of the label game as much as we can in here.
And again, we're never going to be upset with you. This is a part of the.
healing. It's a like, even for myself, the first time Jackie said that, and I heard her say that, I was like, Oh, man, I've
done that a lot. And it really helped me start changing the way that I was talking about myself and other people and
situations that I have encountered. And so I want you to think about the fact that you're separating the people from
their behavior, their identity from what they've done. Just like you, again, I try to bring it back to us. We don't
want to be labeled as a cheater. If we were maybe someone that were unfaithful in a relationship, we don't want to be
labeled as a bad mom, if we're like angry, and we yell at our kids, or you know what I'm saying? Like, we want to have
our identity in Christ, we want to learn how to have a healthy identity, separate from the struggles that we have. I
struggled with anxiety in my past, extensively. But I am not an anxious person. There's a difference. I feel
anxiousness. But I am not an anxious person. Back in the day, excuse me, back in the day, I actually like got upset with
God and was like, Why did you make me this way? Because I didn't remember a time that I didn't feel afraid and anxious. And
God was like, I didn't. I'm like, What do you mean? Yes, you did. I've been like this forever. And he literally this is the
conversation that God and I are having it. And he's talking to me through my inner voice. You know, that's still small
voice, but it came so quick. And he said, Bethany, I did not put that in you. The enemy is the one that comes to kill, steal and
destroy. But God comes Jesus came to give us life and give it to us more abundantly. That's why Jesus came. He came to abolish all of
that. We fight from victory, not for it. It's already ours. I just had to get the revelation of that. It was literally on my way to
work. And God was talking to me about that. And I got massive freedom and massive revelation because I was like, Oh my gosh. Oh my
gosh. You're right. And he's like, Yeah, no, I'm God. You know, like, God's always right, you all. But like, sometimes it's just
kind of like, Whoa, like, you know, those things that just hit you. And all of a sudden, it just starts to make sense. The enemy, you know,
has constantly tried to like, assault my life with fear and anxiety, lust, abuse, you know, common threads that he's tried to attack my life
with over and over and over again. And now he's trying to get my kids with it. See, that's how he tries to work. I don't even know why I'm
saying all this I had this is not my notes, but I believe it's for someone. So if you're sensing similar attacks throughout your story, it's
because the enemy is continuing to try to hammer you in that area. Because he wants to see if you will believe the lie that God made you
that way. He didn't. We get to decide and choose the truth and say no, God did not create me with depression. I struggle with depression. Yeah,
Megan says hopelessness, loneliness, deep pangs of loneliness. I've talked about this before. It's worse than an addiction to like drugs, you all, you can
research it. If some of you, you really like you feel pain and deep loneliness. I want to encourage you to look it up. It's called pangs p a n g s of
loneliness. It comes out of roots of abandonment and neglect as children. That's where it starts. Some of you might need to forgive your parents in one way or
another. Again, my mom did I do believe I think that she did the best that she knew how I think also she could have done better. I do. But I also have
forgiven her and I've put it all under the cross. But I say both of those because I believe that anybody can learn something new every single day. And I wish my mom
had. I wish that she had reached out for help more. She stayed isolated a lot. And so I want to encourage you if you are someone that struggles with
isolation, loneliness, I want you to come out of that place. Again, heartwork is a great time to practice that. I know it can be like, I don't know these people in this
group.
I don't know if I feel comfortable to say this thing about my life, this really private, big thing.
I've been there, and I want you to know we have done, like, years of work in this community to create a safe place for you.
I have been here over five years, and I have never had someone say something harmful or mean to anyone when they confess something from their life in this group.
And I'm so blessed that I can say that, because that's not always the case.
Yeah, so if you need to forgive someone for where I was going with that with my mom, you know, part of my story is even before this happened, my mom was kind of just checked out.
My mom did not want another kid.
They got pregnant with me when she was on birth control.
My dad left literally after she gave birth to me in the hospital, took the only car that they had, she had, they jointly had, so she had to find someone to even bring her home from the hospital.
I didn't find this out until just a few years ago before she passed away.
Lots of things that she went through, but she was checked out, you all.
And she worked multiple jobs as a single mom.
I don't blame her for being checked out.
I really don't.
But I needed my mom.
And so I can also at the same time say, man, I'm really disappointed that she didn't, like, fight through that more for me.
When my brother and my sister and my mom were hit by a drunk driver, I told that story a couple weeks ago, my mom was gone a lot.
And so the enemy lied to me, and this is why I'm saying it, a lot, that I was not as important as my other siblings.
I felt abandoned, I felt alone.
And then my mom, I was really close with my grandparents, at one point, she wouldn't let me go there anymore.
She had a lot of jealousy towards them and my relationship with them.
And then I had to sit home alone, afraid.
So another layer of abandonment and loneliness, and now fear, greater levels of fear, tacked onto that.
So I've had to do a lot of forgiveness around these layers of loneliness, abandonment, neglect, feeling put aside when I needed someone to make me a priority.
Now, I don't know all the things, I know some of the things my mom went through.
Her dad committed suicide.
Her mom was very, like, pro the boys, you know.
They were never allowed to talk about the bad things that happened in their home, literally.
And so that's how my mom and her siblings grew up.
And there was a lot of abuse down that line.
I still think to this day, I don't have proof, but I do still think to this day that my mom probably got abused along the way as well, and never spoke of it.
So why am I saying all this to you?
I'm saying this to you because some of you, you know, the Lord has been knocking on the door of your heart to forgive the people who have harmed you, the people who have neglected you, the people that, in your spirit, you're like, they should have been there, they should have shown up for me, they should have fought for me, or maybe it's your kids.
Sometimes what happens is we learn how to process our own forgiveness, but when someone hurts our kids, or our sister, or our best friend, we take on a whole new level of offense.
Some of you all need to forgive people that have hurt other people that you love.
I want to talk to you about different filters and things that cover the way that we see, and I want you to think about it in regards to sunglasses.
And I'm not going to tell the whole story that I normally tell it for sake of time, but I just want you to be thinking about, like, when you put sunglasses on, a lot of them now have UV ray protection, they have different colors, so when you're looking out at things, you see things in a different color.
And I want you to think of filters and blind spots in the same way.
When we have unforgiveness in our hearts and our lives, it creates literally a different lens to look through.
So we see everything around us differently than we would see if we were walking in wholeness, and forgiveness, and grace, and love.
Sometimes even what's really tricky is your person that is supposed to love you, they now have harmed you in some way.
So maybe it is an up-close and personal enemy, if you will, and maybe there's someone that you love dearly and you just did not see that coming.
You know, it's kind of like, you guys might be like, what?
I don't know.
like, you watch that? Oh, but gladiator, there's this scene
where, you know, the guy comes up close, and he just he jabs
him in the in the side. And I think of that sometimes, because
the armor of God, when you read about it in the Bible, you know,
there's all this armor that talks about things that are on
the front of the body. But the glory of the Lord is the rear
guard, he's your protector on your back. But I was thinking
about this. And back in the day, you have to, like, we think of
it in terms of what we know, but back in the day, they were
in full body armor at different times. And then other times,
they weren't, there were openings on the side, you all.
And so I've thought about this a lot, like, I wonder what it was
like when the Bible was written. Because you know, that friend
that is closer than a brother, if you will, when they come
close, and and they're really close, and then they do
something, and it's like that side jab, right?
It hurts a little differently, doesn't it?
And sometimes that stuff lingers.
But God, again, is calling these things out tonight, y'all,
again, these are this is not in my notes. So I feel like the
Lord is saying to some of you, like, he's really sorry that
your friend betrayed you, and wounded you. And, you know,
basically, like came up and stabbed you in a sense. And God
wants to heal that wound, those wounds, some of you have
multiple friends that have done things, you really struggle to
make friends, and you're wondering what's wrong with you.
And God is saying, Hey, I want you just to allow yourself to
heal. And learn what it's like to make healthy connections and
community, because here's the reality. Just like romantic
relationships, when we're not healed and healthy and whole,
and we're never going to be perfect, you all, okay. But in
process, we're going to learn how to make healthier
connections with people, we're going to recognize people that
have red flags, green flags, you know, we're going to learn them
all. But the reality is, some of us like have even picked really
unhealthy friends.
And we have to own our side of the street in that. And just, it
doesn't mean like we don't choose people anymore, if they
have anything wrong with them. But we absolutely do not have to
like hang out every day with people that are toxic, we don't
have to do it. We can love them, like with Christ love, we can
serve them. But you know what, when I go into situations with a
ministry mindset, it's a totally different mindset than if I'm
going in, like, hey, this is going to be my friend. Because
my friends get closer to me than the people that I'm ministering
to. So I hope it will give you guys some kind of perspective of
maybe some of you as you forgive God might be using this tonight
even to help you kind of reestablish some lines to like
help you become healthier in the days ahead. All right, so the
filters and blind spots cause us to see others differently, the
world differently, interact with them differently. They it impacts
our ability to truly connect the ability to give love out and
receive love. Remember, I talked about that capacity earlier,
when things get cleaned out. Remember, that's getting that
stuff out of there. Well, then what should happen is we should
be able to then receive new things. Isaiah 4319, I am doing
a new thing. Can you not perceive it? I'm bringing
streams in the wasteland and rivers in the desert. He's
bringing good stuff, ladies. Good stuff. He's a good father.
The Bible also talks about there's a scripture that talks
about like that God can I please see your goodness in the land of
the living. Excuse me. And I remember praying that a lot when
I was going through the heart healing. I think some things
that we will not see those until heaven, just because of the way
that the spiritual dynamics work. But I believe there's a
lot of things that God wants us to experience here on earth and
to be able to proclaim his goodness and his mercy and his
forgiveness and his grace. Do you know the meat, you know,
like, it's like me too. Oh, you've been through that. Me
too. And then you get to help someone else. And if we will
allow God to he wants to use our purpose or excuse me, our
pain for a purpose. And he wants to maybe it's just one person we
share with one day, but it changes their life. When you
think about the filters and blind spots, I also want you to
think about this when you walk into any situation, it doesn't
matter what it is bad or good. You don't see that thing.
Because of filters and blind spots, you don't see that place.
so you don't see the people the way that they are.
You see those places, those people, and those things
the way that you are on the inside.
Let's just here raise a hand.
I wanna get people involved here.
I feel like another idea's coming up.
Just raise your digital hand for me
or you can put something in the chat.
How many of you struggle with insecurity?
Any kind of insecurity.
Just, yeah, go ahead and you can raise your physical hand.
We can see you that way too.
I think a lot of people do, more than even realize do,
because insecurity shows up
in a lot of different ways, you all.
But praise the Lord for those of you
that don't feel like that's something you struggle with,
but a lot of people, this is the common thread.
Especially you get women in a room together
and then what does the enemy try to do?
Well, it's one of the first things the enemy will try to do.
He will try to get you to compare yourself to another woman.
They look prettier, they have nicer clothes,
look at their hair, I don't have that.
I like the way she talks, I can't talk like.
Whatever it is, he will try to use something
to get you to compare yourself to someone else
because if you will do that, if you will partner with that,
I know it because I've lived it.
Then he like, oh, I got her.
Because now I can start lying to her
about a bunch of other stuff too
because she's listening to what I'm saying right now.
Some of you even come on this and you're like,
you're terrified to turn your cameras on
and hey, there's no shame.
I just want you to know that that is the enemy
trying to keep you from allowing yourself to be seen, why?
Why?
So what filters are you seeing life through?
Some people will see so many filters,
again, for instance, say you were hurt severely
by a group of people.
They mistreated you, maybe they lied about you
and then they discarded you.
Maybe it was one person, but either way, the same is true.
The heart wounds and lies that were created
as a result of that trauma
will now give you a skewed perception
of groups in the future.
If it's a woman in authority,
you're gonna struggle with women in authority.
If it was a man in authority,
you're gonna tend to struggle with men in authority.
Do y'all see how this works?
You might avoid groups or communities of people
like the plague, convincing yourself that they're all bad.
Some of y'all have been hurt by men so much
that you're just like, you say you want a spirit mate,
but deep down, you don't really even like men
because you are believing the lie.
And again, I'm not shaming you for this.
I saw so many layers of this getting revealed
as I've gone through this journey for years.
Maybe yours is men are lazy.
Men aren't spiritual like we're spiritual.
Do you know how many women buy into that?
Men aren't as spiritual as women are spiritual.
Somebody even said it to me today.
I don't think that's true.
And you know what I think gives it power?
Is when women keep agreeing
that men are not as spiritual as us.
I really believe that that is part of the enemy's
great breakdown of men in this world.
Women are called to be intercessors.
We are called to be the help mate, the helper.
God has called us and positioned us to intercede for men.
Y'all, I've seen a rise of men in the last five years.
Men are awakening.
Yes, do I think that men were under an attack
of the enemy for a century?
Yes, I do.
But I don't believe that was ever their destiny.
We don't want men to label us a bunch of feminists, right?
At least I don't want them to label me that way
just because I'm a strong woman.
I want them to see my strength in God,
the gifts and the abilities that he's put in me
to use me for his kingdom, not to be threatened by me
or think I'm some part of, which I'm not, y'all.
Like I don't, I'm really naive to the way
of some of those things.
But I'm just saying that I don't believe
that men were ever under an attack of the enemy.
I'm just saying God is trying to tear down
the division wall between men and women.
And he's trying to get us to work as a team.
But it starts in our hearts.
It starts in our minds and our spirits,
what we think about, what we focus on.
What we focus on is literally what we will find.
And if we are focused on men are bad,
we're gonna find bad men.
Yeah.
So, what do you want to focus on in the days ahead?
Do you want to focus on, God, I believe that you have good things in store for me.
I don't always feel it, I don't always see it, because y'all, that's true.
We experience so much in this world.
We go through trials and tribulation.
The Bible told us they would come.
But woe to him whom through they come.
Yeah, God doesn't want us to be tossed around and hurt.
For his kids.
And whether you know it or not, or believe it or not, tonight, some of you all are probably
in that place, and I understand why you're there, where you're just like, yeah, I mean,
I hear that God loves me, but if God loved me, why did he not protect me from this person
or this situation?
And that's legit.
And you're going to have to walk that journey out, just like I did.
And you know how I did it?
I just talked to him.
And I was honest with him.
God like, man, why didn't you protect me in this situation?
And he's taught me a lot about the reality of the fullness of his love.
That means he doesn't control anyone.
He gives everyone free choice to choose.
And some people make really horrible, harmful choices.
So let's be different people.
Let's forgive.
Let's choose to love.
Let's grow in the fullness of who God created us to be and live some really amazing lives.
And when we do, you know, the Bible says we'll keep coals of fire on the heads of our enemies.
That includes Satan.
Matthew 22, 39, I want to make sure I had the right scripture, says, love your neighbor
as you love yourself.
Forgiveness is not a choice, or excuse me, is not a feeling, it's a choice.
I want you to think about this, love your neighbor as you love yourself.
A lot of us will say we love ourselves, but then we talk down to ourselves all the time.
I want you to think about things that you're saying to yourself, thinking about yourself.
And then I want you to ask yourself, would you say that to a sister?
Some of you might.
So be careful with that.
But a lot of us wouldn't.
So why do we say it to ourselves?
I do too.
Still, I catch myself all the time and I'm like, why did I just say that?
That was harmful to myself.
And then here's the reality.
We can't give what we don't have.
Some of you need your love tanks filled.
And that's going to happen as you choose to forgive and let it go.
It doesn't mean you have to forget that it happened.
That is not true.
You're never going to forget you all.
I wish that we like some memories.
I think they do because we get so happy when we're living a good life, that stuff starts
to fade.
It doesn't even feel like it's like I can tell you literally things that have happened
in my life.
Like I'm like, that doesn't even feel like that was my life anymore.
I know that it happened.
Like I haven't forgotten in my head, but it doesn't even feel like it's my life because
my life is so different now.
And your life can be different too.
Ephesians 4, 23, forgive one another just as God forgave you because of what Christ
has done.
Colossians 3, 13, remember the Lord forgave you, so you must also forgive others.
And you want to forgive all the characters in the story, including yourself if it's needed.
Remember forgiveness happens in layers and healing happens in layers.
I want to talk to you very quickly about victim versus survivor versus thriving.
Victims feel helpless.
They blame other people and they focus often on the past.
So when we talk a lot about victim mindsets and victim heart postures, that's what we're
talking about.
It's this place of helplessness and you know, even hopelessness is going to partner with
that.
I know Megan, you said that earlier, but that just came up in my spirit.
That's the enemy trying to get you to partner with being a victim.
Again, I don't blame you for that.
I know the things that you've gone through, but that connection just happened.
So speak it out.
Victims blame other people.
So again, y'all, yes, people did horrible things to me.
They did.
And I can sit and I can just keep blaming them for the way that my life was back in
the day.
Or even now.
I mean, people still hurt me today.
People in the church, people that I'm doing my best to love.
It happens all the time.
Why?
Because people are imperfect.
We all have flesh.
And I could sit and I could blame them for whatever the situation is, or I can just love
them.
them, set a different boundary if needed, and move on.
Because you know what, there's other people that are ready to
receive what I have to give.
Not everybody's going to be able to receive what we have to give
you all. You all when you step into the dating time, you're
gonna come across some guys that still are not good guys. It's
reality. There's some women out there that are not good women.
It's even Steven. Back in the day, people used to think
pornography, pornography was just a guy's thing. Women
struggle with pornography almost just as much as men now.
It's reality.
A survivor is someone who has reclaimed their power. So
they've, they've started taking their power back. They take
responsibility for their choices. They choose to heal.
So maybe they're doing some self care, they're starting to
say no, they're starting to set healthy boundaries where they
need to. But here's the thing a survivor typically continues to
live and or exist. Again, that's not bad. But there's a
difference between surviving and thriving.
Thriving is not just existing.
Thriving is someone who's going to focus on the future. They
have power regarding their future. They surround themselves
with other people who are thriving. Thriving people tend
to grow, they tend to develop themselves, they tend to
prosper when they're doing things, and they flourish.
Again, this isn't about shame or guilt or condemnation. But
here's what happens. When we when we put these truths out
there, and we start looking at the reality of okay, where do I
fall? Here's the other reality. We can fall into each one of
those categories at the same time, in different areas of our
hearts and lives. You can be in victim regarding romantic
relationship and be thriving in your career. See how that works.
But we want we want to run on all full cylinder, full
cylinder, full cylinder, baby, we want to run like thriving in
every area. Nothing missing, nothing lacking, nothing broken,
wholeness. God wants that for us. And I believe he wants to
help you step further into that tonight. So I want to give you a
couple more things on thriving. And then we're going to get
ready for our breakout session. The land of thrive. People are
going to start making choices about what you want to do. Who
are you? What do you like to do? Some of you all starting point
for you is going to be to figure out what some of your hobbies
are. What do you enjoy doing? What? What brings you joy? What
brings you laughter and fun and silliness, whatever that looks
like for you. Because some of you don't even know what that
is. So every time you start dating someone, I used to do
this, I would just conform to what they were doing and what
they wanted to do all the time and I would lose myself in
people. I'm not saying that that I mean, it still happens a
little in marriage, especially like I'm trying to balance like
ministry and being a wife and you know, I worked full time for
last year single like there. There's just a lot of things to
kind of balance and juggle. And so I have found that ministry
even has been something I've had to really watch that it doesn't
take over my identity. Does that make sense? What I'm
saying? We need to invest in who we are, and have boundaries
around that so that we even when we get married, y'all, the
wedding day is not a one time event. Marriage is a lifetime
journey. And we're going to grow and we're going to change some
things you're going to love right now you're going to enjoy
doing those and maybe five or 10 years from now you're maybe
physically not going to be able to do that thing or maybe it's
just not what you're into anymore. And your spouse is
going to change too. But we have to be willing to at least know
who we are at the starting point. Okay, that's going to
serve you really well. The land of thrive also how you act what
kind of attitude do you want to have? People that are thriving
are not negative Nelly's. Again, I know why people struggle with
negative attitudes and critical spirits. I know why. I have
grace for you. But I want you to like pay attention to like
what's coming out of your mouth. What are you thinking about all
the time? Is it negative? Like do you have a
to go towards the negative or the positive.
Now, the other flip side of this
is some of y'all are so positive all the time
that you're not even letting yourself
see the red flags in people.
That's how I used to be.
I just believed the best in them.
I saw the potential and just,
I believed with all the faith that I had
that that potential was gonna become something.
We don't, Jackie says this all the time.
We do not marry potential.
And I remember the first time hearing that too,
and I was like, whoa, that'll set you free.
If you're someone that really struggles
with balancing having faith and walking in wisdom,
I was a pretty wise person.
I still got tripped up by that stuff
because of my counterfeit identities.
See how it all works together?
Right, last one.
The land of thrive, where to focus your resources.
This is the money side of things, the time side of things.
Think of all the different kinds of resources you have.
It's your energy.
There's more.
And I want you to think about opportunities
that you wanna create for yourself.
Now, God is gonna help you do it, of course.
But some of you all are created to do extraordinary things.
And here's what I'm gonna say.
All of us are created to do extraordinary things.
Some people, it just takes them a little longer
to believe that they have that potential.
And extraordinary looks different for everybody.
And it doesn't make any persons less than another.
We are all a part of the body,
and every part of the body matters
and has an extraordinary purpose.
Do you believe that about yourself?
God wants to help you get there.
All right, so here is the breakout session question tonight.
Who do you need to forgive tonight and why?
Who is God bringing up in your spirit?
Who do you need to forgive tonight and why?
I'm gonna get the breakout rooms ready.
I'm gonna put two of you in a room.
Maybe I wanna do three people to a room tonight.
I think I do,
because I want you guys to meet some more people.
And then what we'll do is, let's see.
I want three, six, nine.
All right, we'll do eight minutes.
So you'll have two and a half minutes, you all.
Short, brief, and powerful, okay?
Short, brief, and powerful.
Everybody has two and a half minutes.
Three people to a room.
If people are not there, I'll move people around.
It's no big deal.
Go ahead and click to join those rooms as quick as you can.
Totally fine, Grace.
I will go ahead and make note of that.
I'm gonna pray once we get everyone situated here.
All right, Father, thank you so much
for everything that you're doing already tonight.
God, I thank you.
I just sense your presence here, Lord.
All day, I've just felt like you wanted
to do something really special tonight.
I thank you for being here in our midst.
I thank you that you're always working
in every situation in our lives, Lord,
that you are helping us to unbecome the things
that are not serving us and to become the woman of God
that you've created us to be.
And even on the inside, that little girl, the baby,
the beautiful things that you put in us long ago
that you created us to be.
God, I thank you that you would just continue
to help us to thrive in every area of our lives,
that you would help us to step further into the fullness
of who you originally created us to be.
God, that you would transform us from the inside out.
I thank you that we would leave behind
the lives of the enemy a little bit more tonight,
that we would choose to forgive,
to walk in complete wholeness and healing,
and that we would no longer, yes, Lord,
believe the lies and the tactic of the enemy.
We would lay aside every weight
that so easily ensnares us,
and we would press on toward the high calling of God
for our lives.
I thank you, God, that you are making all things new.
Yes, Lord, that you're making all things new.
I just saw, this always comes to mind,
probably because I've done hard work for so long.
I hear this and think of this a lot,
but hear this from the Lord.
I just saw a picture of a dam,
where there's a stream of water flowing,
and then something like debris,
whether it's branches or rocks or whatever kind of stuff,
beavers make things that cause dams.
It stopped the flow of the river,
but God is coming and he's removing all the things
that were obstacles.
the cold and stopping up the flow within us.
Psalm 139 verse 13 through 16
in the NLT version says this,
you made all the delicate inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother's womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex.
Your workmanship is marvelous.
How well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
So interesting.
I was feeling like as I was reading that,
I kept hearing the Lord say earlier,
I alluded to the fact that my mom got pregnant with me
when she was on birth control.
And actually at one point in my life told me verbally
that they never wanted me.
And that was very, very hurtful for me.
And I feel like someone else,
whether you're here live tonight
or you're gonna watch the replay,
that that is something,
a lie that you've believed about yourself,
that you were not wanted,
that your parents didn't want you or whatever was said.
And that has hindered you and it's hurt you.
And God wants to heal that wound in you.
And then literally, as I was thinking on that,
I looked over to a page in the book
that I don't normally read this during the heart work
because you guys read most of this book,
but this just stood out to me.
So I'm just gonna read it out.
It doesn't matter what story you've been told
about how you were conceived.
You are not random, unwanted or unplanned
because there is no such thing.
If that's ever been said to you,
I break that lie off of you right now.
Your parents might not have been expecting you,
but God certainly was.
God was always expecting us.
You were predicted, you were promised and you were planned.
Praise the Lord.
We were planned.
And I just wanna say that God sees you, that he loves you,
and that he's gonna continue to work in your life
in marvelous ways.
And he's gonna surprise you with all kinds of things
that you never thought could be a part of your story.
And he's gonna just really show you
how for centuries he has always been fighting for you.
Hi, Kim, we're in breakouts right now.
So I'm just praying and talking to the ladies a little bit.
Matthew 5, 14 through 16 in the message version says,
here's another way to put it.
You're here to be a light,
bringing out the God colors in the world.
God is not a secret to be kept.
We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill.
If I make you lightbearers,
you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket,
do you?
I'm putting you on a light stand.
Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand,
shine, keep open house, be generous with your lives.
By opening up to others,
you'll prompt people to open up with God,
this generous father in heaven.
Praise the Lord.
God, I thank you that you would help us
to open up a little bit more tonight.
God, I thank you that you would teach us
what it looks like to shine from the inside out,
that you are making us brand new,
that you're healing us from the inside out.
God, I thank you that, yeah,
out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth is speaking.
So Lord, I pray that if anyone has been struggling
with saying negative things,
maybe it's even cursing or, you know,
putting themselves or other people down,
God, I pray that you would help them to bridle their tongue,
God, but more importantly,
get to the root of the matter in their heart.
So Lord, we just ask you to place the balm of Gilead
upon all of our hearts tonight,
that you would heal all the dark places, the recesses,
all the cracks and crevices.
God, where our foundation was broken long ago,
God, I ask you to fill that with your oil.
The glory of God to be revealed in us and through us
that you are the one that becomes our strong foundation.
God, we can trust you.
Yes, Lord.
The Lord just had to remind you as well
that you can be safe with him.
So Lord, I thank you that we are safe with you.
And I pray that if there's anyone
that is in this heartwork program right now,
that doesn't know the fullness of that truth,
God, I pray that you would show that to them more and more
and more in the days to come.
God, that you would help them to receive your protection,
that you are their defender, you're their provider.
God, that you are their Jehovah Jireh.
You are more than enough for them.
God, you are almighty father, prince of peace.
God, we ask for your peace to come into this room tonight,
into this place and space.
People coming from all over, connecting.
We just thank you that you're in every Zoom room.
Even as conversations are continuing to happen,
you're here in this room.
You're here with those that are going to watch the replay.
And I thank you, God, that you would help them to experience
the full measure of your love.
Yeah, Lord, that you would just wash over them afresh.
God, that you would help them to sense your presence with them right now.
I thank you that you would go into the memory.
I just saw a bunch of TVs, like a memory storage room, if you will.
That's what I was going to say.
And that just came up in my spirit.
That recorded moments from our lives.
God, we just thank you that you would turn all the channels to healing,
to wholeness, to redemption, to restitution, to revival, to renewal.
God, that you would get rid of disease, deception, division, devouring.
We thank you, God, that you are more than enough for us, God.
Yes, Lord, thank you for peace.
God, you are peace.
We thank you that your peace passes all understanding,
that it does guard our hearts and our minds through Christ Jesus.
And I thank you that we get to participate in that,
that we can take every thought captive and make it obedient to Jesus Christ
and to the truth of who he is and all that he died to give us.
We plead the blood of Jesus Christ over ourselves, over our families,
over our situations, the areas where we are still feeling stuck.
God, we thank you for your freedom.
Where the spirit of the Lord is, there's freedom,
there's liberty for the captives.
And so we thank you, God, for bringing liberty and freedom
and in just a supernatural way for the rest of tonight
and in the days to come in Jesus name.
Amen. Welcome back, ladies.
Hello, hello.
Our activation this week, I'm going to give those to you first
and then we'll have the rest of the time for coaching.
Your activation is going to be to complete forgiveness prayer sheets.
You guys can kind of see it there.
I have my thing on, but it's in the coursework.
So you guys know, know those and have those.
Hopefully, excuse me.
You're going to fill those out.
Remember, you want to forgive everybody that's a part of the story,
including yourself, if that is needed.
And then after you fill these out, I want you to create a post in the group
and I want you to tell us about who is God leading you to forgive
and don't feel like you've got to storm up all week.
Come in and, you know, short, brief and powerful in there to share
what you feel led.
Remember, you don't have to give all the gory details.
Just tell us, you know, the kind of like the highlight reel, if you will.
Unless there's something that you really feel like, OK, I have to share this
because I feel like God is like wanting me to break free.
I've never told anybody about this before.
You know, as I as I've mentioned before.
We've had people confess like having abortions and all kinds of stuff.
Ladies, there's a lot of brokenness.
So let's come out of that.
Oh, the group on the app.
So last year, single app.
That's where you're going to share that in the community tab.
I do want to read the forgiveness prayer over you guys.
I haven't done this in a really long time,
but I felt led to do it multiple times today.
So I want to be obedient to that.
And then I see some ladies already have their hands up.
So we'll start that here in a moment.
So as as we're stepping into forgiveness,
I thought it would be really great to read this over you
as you're filling these forgiveness prayer sheets out.
I want you to be specific, OK?
So. I don't want you to say,
I forgive Johnny for being mean to me.
OK, that's a good start, but let's be specific.
How was Johnny mean to you?
Did he say something to you?
Did he do something physical, you know, where you're actually saying what it is
because it says, Dear Heavenly Father, in obedience to your instructions
to forgive others, I purpose and choose to forgive.
You're going to write their name, name of the person who offended you
for state the offense that was caused against you.
I release the name of the person who offended you.
I cancel the debt they owe me from this trauma. Wow.
God, I ask you to forgive me for any unforgiveness and bitterness
towards you say their name again in this situation.
In the name of Jesus, I cancel all of Satan's power and authority
over me from this trauma because I have forgiven them.
And God has forgiven me.
It is done. And now it is over forever.
Holy Spirit, please come and heal my heart
and tell me your truth about this situation.
And then you're going to wait and you're going to ask the Holy Spirit
to show you like truth about that situation.
And for some of you, you might not have something that comes up right then.
You can write. I'm not hearing anything right now.
But then I want you to go.
I want you to be praying about that.
And if the word shows you something, you would go back and jot that down
later on. OK.
All right, we're going to cancel some debts tonight.
I'm excited about this.
I see Yasha's hand up first.
Tonight, we'd love to hear what you have to say.
Thanks, Bethany.
So I think from the group chat
and also the activation question,
who I need to forgive is myself
because I've been having this,
going through this bad spiral of watching too much TV
and not achieving the goals I wanted to achieve.
I mean, I tried your method of when I come home,
don't switch on the TV for the first 15 minutes.
I've tried that and it's working fine.
So thank you so much for that.
So, but I've felt that sometimes
when I go through stressful situations at work
and also I'm going through a healing process
of forgiving my ex for all that he has done,
the deception, the lying and all that.
So I'm, to be honest,
I'm actually at the forgiveness chapter of the hard work
and I feel I'm going pretty slow, like page by page slow.
But then again, I know it's important
that I need to write it down
and pray through what God is revealing to me.
So, so I, just to give a bit of context,
last year, I mean, I want,
I've always been the kid or the adult
who wants to be in routines
because I've grown up to be the only child in the family
and I grew up in Sri Lanka, that's South Asia.
So my parents have been, you know,
to study well, to be well, you know,
it's kind of all these strict frameworks
that I used to be in when I was a child.
So yes, I mean, thanks to that,
I achieved a lot in life professionally,
but I feel that during my adult life,
I kind of beat myself a lot for it.
And then sometimes I kind of, you know, give up on myself.
It's like, you know, if I say for an example,
okay, don't watch too much TV, don't eat,
like, you know, eat healthy.
So then I kept myself doing it.
And then I thought, okay, you know, what's the use of it?
Let's just do it.
And then I know I sleep late.
And for an example, yesterday, I was up till about two.
Yes, I did have a very tough time at work
and my spirit was broken.
And then, but I resorted to watching TV
and just watching some comedy to laugh.
But I think staying up until 2 a.m. is not healthy.
So if you have any helpful tips,
I mean, I would love to hear it.
You know, it's really interesting.
You would not know this,
but I literally have been talking to Lord
about this myself because I found myself
in the last week really just,
I was exhausted and I had things I needed to get done,
but I found myself doing something very similar.
And literally as you were talking,
I don't even think I made this connection
until you were talking.
But my mom used to do something similar.
When she would get really overwhelmed,
my mom watched TV for hours upon hours upon hours at night,
and I resented her for that.
And so I'm seeing a connection in my spirit,
myself tonight, that I think there's something to that.
I think that I need to forgive my mom
for vegging out on TV all the time.
And I need to forgive myself for judging her for that.
And just see if that changes anything in the spirit realm.
I'm not saying it will just make me have
like that good habit, like right out of nowhere,
but I'm saying for the most part,
I'm pretty like, I go, go, go, go, go.
And then I hit a wall and then I'm like down.
But I do feel led to really watch that
because I think the enemy is trying to use it
to keep me from getting some things done, like you said.
Not just that I want to get done,
but God is calling me to do.
But I do get overwhelmed with all the things
that have to get done.
And that's when I sense it kind of kicking in,
and I just kind of want to like escape.
And so I'm saying all that to say,
I see that similar thing with my mom.
Like, she's not here to ask her,
but I think that's why she did it.
It was kind of like escapism, if you will, you know?
And she would lay there with a bag of potato chips
and just eat like a whole bag of potato chips at night.
And I even have caught myself doing,
I'm not even hungry sometimes,
and I'm catching myself doing behaviors
that I saw happening
and that I criticized her internally for.
And so I'm not sure if that will resonate for you,
but I just felt led to share it
because it might help somebody else
if that didn't apply for you.
But as far as like healthy boundaries
and going to bed on time,
like I don't normally stay up late.
I'm normally trying to ask my husband like,
hey, can we, let's go to bed.
Because I wake up if he comes in after me.
And then the last couple of nights I've been staying up late
and I don't even know why I'm like,
I don't need to stay up late, I'm just staying up late.
And so the best answer I have for you
is we just need to go to bed.
We just need to go to bed.
And I know that simplifies it so much.
And I'm not saying it's easy,
but like I need to go to bed.
I think there's something in me sometimes where I work so hard that I just don't want to follow the rules for a little while.
But then I feel terrible the next day. So then I'm like paying for that not good decision.
And so I'd much rather go to bed early and feel great the next day.
And so I have to really like lean into that. Okay, I don't feel good when I stay up late.
So I'm going to choose to really care for myself well, and go to bed early, if you will.
So like, for example, sometimes where I feel the most challenged by that is I coach on here until like 930, sometimes 945.
And y'all, I'm pretty amped when I get off of here. Like, I'm like, I'm feeling the Holy Spirit when I'm coaching, I feel all this, you know, supernatural stuff God's doing.
And I'm not like, getting off here being like, Oh, let me just go right to bed. Like, I need time to wind down. I need time to kind of decompress.
And, and so it might be to Yash that you might need to kind of decide what are some things you might be able to do in addition to the 15 minutes of not turning it on when you first get home.
But maybe you need to like build in some kind of, and I'm speaking to myself, but some kind of relaxation stuff.
That will feed your soul in another way. Because I think sometimes, at least from my experience, I avoid doing some of the things that I have on my list to do like writing my book.
Because in order to write my book, I need to go back and re-experience some of those things that I'm going to be writing about. And I don't always want to do that. Does that make sense?
Yeah, it does. It does.
And so it's, it's not a quick fix. I know I kind of mentioned a couple different things. I think consistency for us is key. Looking at why are we avoiding something, for example, like how I just wrote, I'm avoiding sometimes it's not even a, it's not even a conscious thing.
Sometimes it is a subconscious thing that's happening. And where I'm avoiding writing the book, or I'm feeling that overwhelmed. And I just want to like, I just want to procrastinate and not do it. But even procrastination is a self protection mechanism.
We learned this stuff. So let's get to the root of what's causing us again, speaking myself, I'm getting revelation myself tonight. This is how it works as a heartwork coach. But, and then we can kind of see where God leads, you know, you from there, you can come into the group and kind of talk about it, maybe even have an accountability partner, Yash, that probably is another layer that would be really good for you, a woman that you're going to be really honest with, that's going to be loving, you
don't need anybody that's harsh, you've already had a parent, you know, parents, you don't need a parent, you just need a friend who loves you, and will hold you accountable.
Thank you so much. It's really helpful.
Oh, you're welcome. Yeah, my pleasure. All right. Let's see, Michelle, I see you next on here.
Um, I don't think I was next in order. So
Oh, that's, it's okay. You're just next on my TV screen here.
Right. Well, I apologize to Wendy and Leslie. Um, so when you talked about the forgiveness prayer, and you know, being ready to forgive, um, one of the people that I'm thinking of that I was in a relationship with for 10 years, I laughed, I was on mute, of course, when you were saying go ahead and forgive. And I'm like, I'm not, I'm just not gonna do it. I'm not gonna forgive. And of course, I know, you know what, I, you know, intellectually and spiritually understand what Jesus has done for us.
It doesn't give me any, you know, leg to stand on on that. But I'm going to own that that is how I'm feeling right now. And I really laughed. And I'm like, I'm just not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. So I would love
Yes, I love that you're owning it. This is huge. This is the Hey, this is step number one. So let me ask you a couple more questions, if that's okay. So you dated this person for 10 years, or were you guys married or
So to be clear, I was in what I would I saw this person as a brother. Okay. And I treated him as such. And I honored that. And I really saw him as family. What I did not know
is that he did not see me that way. And he was videoing me behind my back to get different angles on me. And he, you know, was masturbating to it. And I felt a connection with him that I felt like he was inside me a lot of times, like, like spiritually energy, energy wise, I don't know how to explain it another way. And I never quite understood it.
And I felt very one with him, and I never quite understood it, because it's not what I had offered to him.
family. He never crossed the physical boundary. But he was
clearly operating on another level with me in a very intimate
way. And I'm a I'm what they would call a highly sensitive
person, you know, if we get any kind of label. And for me, I
really felt him so close in my life. That was one of the
reasons why I never chose to actually get involved with him
further because I felt like, wow, if we're already this
close now, if I get any closer to him, I'll be really
overwhelmed. This is too much because the oneness that I felt
with him exposed me to a lot of his emotions. And he was not a
healthy. He was not a happy person, even though he was a
Christian, and a devout one at that, it would seem but but it
opened me up to it's a whole nother story. You know, now, we
don't have the time to get into that night, it'll unravel over
time as I do this program. But it's just to say, and I think
maybe this will help you help me right now, is I think part of
the reason I'm like, yeah, no, I'm not doing that is because I
think if I forgive him, like fully, fully, because there's
definitely layers of forgiveness, I have completely
offered him. But there's something else that's not yet
clear 100%. It's because I fear I will go right, I will forget
everything that's like forgiveness and forget will come
at the same time. And I will go right back into this, this this
closeness with him. And I do not believe he's in a place where
things have truly changed for him. So I have to keep a very
clear boundary with him right now. So I use some layer of
unforgiveness as a means of a boundary.
Yeah, so the enemy is tricking you there. Okay. Because here's
the thing, Michelle. As you heal, you can be strong enough
to have self control and set healthy boundaries. But the
enemy is tricking you into convincing you that not
forgiving him is keeping you safe. And it's actually harming
you. And it's actually keeping you tethered to him. Okay. So I
know, I understand all the things that you're describing. I
understand the closeness. I mean, those were soul ties that
were being created in the spirit because of things he was doing,
and participating in. And so even I would encourage you to go
ahead and do this soul ties, even if you're not in that week
yet, go ahead and watch that video. And even if you've done
soul ties before people told me that, you know, I get it, we all
come in from different places. But you're in this program at
this time going through this specific program, and we believe
God's anointing is on that, excuse me to give you
revelation in a fresh way. And soul ties aren't just sexual,
okay, they're emotional. They're mental. Sometimes people have
soul ties with people that are dead. Sometimes people have soul
ties with pets and animals. I mean, there's so many things
that people don't realize we can connect to spiritually, because
of a dependency that is built on that person. So while he was,
you know, engaging in these very unhealthy things, I'm going to
probably encourage Well, I am going to encourage you to pray
about whether or not you became codependent on him in any way.
And, you know, enmeshment is coming up as well. And so part
of the the healing and this is where the enemies convinced you
that not forgiving is protecting you. Actually, the forgiving is
going to release you and you're going to become less enmeshed
with him. And the the healing that you're going through is
going to help unravel that more. And as we heal from, you know,
people that we become enmeshed with, you know, enmeshment,
basically, it's where you lose the lines of who you are and who
they are. Okay. And people can be enmeshed with parents,
siblings, you know, romantic partners, friends, even like
this kind of dynamic. And so that's why the enemies get
convincing you that you're not going to be capable of setting a
boundary that you're going to go right back to who you were. But
what we are going to believe and partner with, including you
hopefully, that you are able to forgive you able to release him
fully, and that God is going to enable you to be strong and
courageous to set healthy boundaries for yourself because
you are becoming someone new. You're stepping out of
counterfeit identities, you're stepping out of being
codependent on him, you're stepping out of, you know, lines
being crossed that were never intended to be crossed. And you
are becoming more of who God and, you know, created you to
be and you're, you're going to be able to walk in, you know,
the Bible talks about all the fruits of the spirit, love, joy,
peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
self-control. A lot of times people we talk about self-control about sex a lot
and that is true but it's about you know even what we're talking about about the
TV and the overeating and you know the enemy is pounding Christians right now
with like trying to get us to not walk in self-control to be distracted all the
time to have blurred boundaries all the time because if he can do that then he
can render us powerless in one way shape or another and so what I encourage you
go ahead and step in even though I know I hear what you're saying and I
understand why you kind of have believed that and fallen into that but again it's
like I was saying earlier this is what's happening right now okay when you forgive
him fully it's going to undo this and then I think it's gonna give you the
answer that you need there you said there's another thing that you're trying
to get an answer for or at least that's the way I understood what you're saying
I think that you forgiving him is actually going to unleash some of those
other answers that you need the other thing I will say is you know here's the
reality ladies and this is for everyone you know we would not encourage you all
to go back into unhealthy dynamics with people okay I'm not saying you can't you
know be kind to people that you have to like just wall people out some of you
all will will feel led to go back and minister to those people but some of you
all need to take a break until you gain strength until you learn how to set
healthy boundaries some of you all are never gonna be asked to go around those
people ever again God is actually gonna ask some of you to cut cords with people
that you're currently friends with or have other ties with business partners
I just heard in my spirit to some of y'all even have business partnerships
that need to end because they're toxic and unhealthy for you so I don't know if
anyone's feeling that but I believe that is for someone so Michelle go ahead and
do that forgiveness prayer sheet and let's see what God does please come into
the group and do a post and let me know how you're doing because I I'm with you
okay like I want you to know I understand that it's not easy but I want
you to know that even things that are not easy are always worth it and this is
gonna be worth it for you it's not about him this isn't about him at all it is
because it happened with him but this is about you walking into full freedom well
I'd like to add one thing before my thing here but while you were talking
what came through was I don't trust myself so I'm thinking if I forgive him
then I go back and it's like oh that's not I guess it just revealed that the
core problem is not so much that I can't forgive him but it's that I don't trust
myself and it comes to the self-control and all that so that's really maybe
where the real healing has to take well and that will come so okay let's add
another layer this layer to this I think you're gonna also need to do a
forgiveness prayer sheet for yourself I think you need to forgive yourself and
see what the Lord brings up regarding that in this situation with him if there
were any flags that God was like saying stuff to you that you blew past or any
boundaries that you felt led to set that you didn't honor like I'm also hearing
if there were any and again it's not that you did something necessarily to
create this dynamic as far as the sexual things go but when we break our
values even regarding our own boundaries we're breaking our word to ourselves and
that's where we start to not trust ourselves and so it is gonna take time
for you to grow to trust yourself again and that's gonna start by you forgiving
yourself first and foremost and then learning how to trust yourself more in
the days that come and and the way that you can do that is when you say you're
gonna do something like set a boundary that you keep it okay it's just like any
of us when we start to lift weights like you know we have to start with five
pounders right at least I do and then we go up from there and so there it's the
same kind of thing with setting boundaries we have to start small we
have to get some wins in our bag and then as we get some wins we're gonna
gain some momentum and we're gonna start to trust ourselves more we're gonna
become stronger and self-control whatever that looks like and then what
can happen just like any even you all we work out we work out we work out we get
in shape well what happens when we quit working out some of us start to atrophy
and we go back right yeah yeah so we have to continue again I'm speaking to
myself tonight we have to continue to work this muscle
To not go against our own word with ourselves to not eat the food that we don't want to eat to turn the TV off when we should turn it off and go to bed, you know, so praying for you I'm excited for you so glad that you share tonight, and we look forward to hearing updates on how this goes.
You're welcome Wendy Go ahead.
Oh, you're muted.
Oh, I still can't hear you.
Let me see if I can send it through to you. Okay, how about this, I finally did this. Hey, you spoke on a business relationship I've been in a pretty kind of a toxic relationship in my business in the business that the company I do business with.
Is this is this different that I know is this different than your siblings this is someone else.
Um, this is like I'm in, you know, in Arkansas, you have to have a broker, and I'm a real estate agent, and I've been regrouping about doing something else.
But still kind of dabble in real estate, but, um, and I have somebody who's my mentor, she's kind of is very jealous.
I'm pretty laid back and I just like my clients I just, you know, I really like the people I serve and, and that kind of thing but I get get into the too much busy work that keeps me away from what I like to do.
And so I've kind of, I think that that's this ship has sailed in my life I used to do bank foreclosure listings years ago so I thought I'd get back into it and so I'm in back into it and it's not the same for me, like it used to be.
So I'm looking at doing something else business wise. So, um, how do you know you're, I mean I think I want to dabble in the dating part.
I'm kind of getting are you in phase two just so I can keep that line for my ladies in phase, are you in phase two now Wendy.
No, I have not decided to do that yet but I would like to. Can you do both as you transition.
It depends on what you signed up, like what program subscription you signed up with. I have no idea.
Yeah, I don't either. So the best way to get an answer for that is to email admin at Jackie doorman.com, and they can let you know, just because there were different programs when different people signed up so they would have to tell you what that is.
But I don't do dating coaching and heartwork so even people that are in phase two. I try to keep it very focused on heartwork now I have allowed people to ask certain questions if they're stuck in situationships, and all of that.
They are people typically that came in and we're already in those dynamics. And so if you have an actual dating question that would need to wait until you get to phase two.
Right, but I'm kind of just dipping my want to dip my toe in the, the idea of like starting to do, you know, start doing that online dating and start getting that started, you know, not you finish with the hard work.
Most of it. Yeah. Okay, well, I know our recommendation is for you all to fully finish the hard work. And when you finish the hard work that you would move into phase two and then when you go into phase two that is when you should start dipping your toe in the water.
As of right now you're saying that you're not finished yet so we would encourage you to finish the hard work.
I'm at 95%.
That's okay, let's finish it all the way let's get that fat that last 5% done and all finished and then literally you can move into phase two, and you can start dipping your toe in the water there, and that we want people to finish really well with excellence and that means finish all the way.
So want to encourage you to do that. And then when you're at that point, like I said, they'll, they'll answer any kind of dating questions you have in phase two.
I just haven't. I mean, dipping my toe is just saying hi to more men in my life.
Baby, I'm a baby stepper, I don't. I just definitely want to take.
Okay, well, all of you all. Yeah, everybody in this community in this group, this group, hard work can practice smiling and saying hi to guys that's different than dating.
So if you're just saying all you need to do is practice right now.
smiling, acknowledging men, being kind, then yeah, absolutely.
But if you're trying to get to the point where you're finding a date right now,
again, we want to finish that last five percent of hard work and then go from there.
But I recommend to you all all the time to practice even going to Home Depot.
And again, you're not trying to pick up guys.
Some of you are afraid to look at men.
If you're like me, like I literally was very timid around men
and I would struggle, look them in the eye and all kinds of stuff.
And so some of you all do need to practice
doing that when you're shopping in a store, not avoiding, you know,
if a man opens a door that you would let them open the door for you,
all that kind of stuff. So, yeah, absolutely.
Go ahead and start practicing that, Wendy.
Well, I already do that.
I just want to take it maybe just a little step further than that.
OK, but see now you're teetering.
At first you said you just wanted to smile and say hi.
And then as soon as I do that, I actually already do that.
I like men.
I've most of my clients are men.
I get along with men because I like math and all that stuff.
And OK, so let me ask you a question.
Sure. Why?
Why wouldn't you just go ahead and finish
the hard work, finish the five percent and then move to the next group then?
I guess I'll just just go for it.
I mean, I'm not ready to date like the formal dating, but yeah,
I think I'm ready to take it as of what people are doing over in phase two.
You you need to finish this well, Wendy,
and then just move on over there because you're saying I just I would like to go
dancing, go dance. Yeah, I know you're wanting to go.
You can't go dancing.
Yeah, I want to go dancing, you know,
kind of rug, kind of rug.
I want to cut a rug and let's finish the five percent.
Let's finish the five percent.
OK, because here's the thing.
And I know you guys might be like, what's the what?
Why is five percent really matter?
Do you know why?
Because we need to finish things really well.
And we're going to teach you that even
regarding dating interactions, that we want you all to to leave people better than
you found them. We want you to finish things well.
And you might be surprised what you might
find gets gets you the breakthrough that you need in that five percent.
I don't want you all ever thinking that,
like, again, this isn't about religion or like doing it perfectly.
But this there's something about coming to a session expectant in your heart,
reading every page of that book, expecting to get something from the Lord
through it, watching every video, believing that God has something to say
to you, not just like, oh, I just have five percent left.
So I might as well go ahead and start dating.
No, there's something to that when we do
that kind of stuff, we need to ask ourself, OK, why are we doing that?
Why are we like stopping short of it?
Even though it's only five percent and then
convincing ourselves that it's only five percent, so what's the big deal?
Again, I'm not harping on just Wendy, I know other people do it, too.
And so this gives me an opportunity to coach everybody on this topic.
I don't take offense to that.
I know you don't. I know you don't.
I love you.
Yeah, I love I like men and, you know, I know I went to I went to a women's
conference and I couldn't wait to it was all women.
I'm like, I couldn't wait to be around Esther.
I mean, I'm a strong, you know, I can't handle that.
All right. Let's finish
when I get finished.
You need to get finished with the heart.
I do. I do.
Because I like men. All right.
Well, let me
say, well, I'm glad you like men and that you're ready.
I do. Yeah.
Let's finish that up and then just move on over to phase two.
But again, I really highly recommend you finishing that all the way through.
All right, Leslie.
I'm sorry, I can't get my mute off.
Oh, it's OK. Yeah, I know it's tricky sometimes.
Yeah, I think
when I when you said about forgiving, I think it's to forgive myself
because throughout the program.
I, you know, through you guys coaching me, I've become aware that
I have a lot of fear, don't trust, you know, fear of abandonment and just I
don't feel safe, right, don't trust myself.
So I would say, like,
forgiving myself for not trusting God to keep me safe with men.
Yeah, you know, what's interesting, as you are sharing there.
I'm, I don't know if this will resonate for you. But in
addition to the fear of abandonment, like I know, we
typically think of other people abandoning abandoning us. But
I'm almost wondering if there, you know, there's this level of
us abandoning ourselves. You know, and I feel like there
might be something to that for you on that, you know, it's that
first time where we, it kind of makes me it partners with when
we, you know, meet other people's needs, before we're
actually meeting our own, and we put other people's needs before
ours. And the enemy convinces us that their needs matter more
than ours. And we have to be responsible for other people's
stuff, like all that kind of stuff kind of hangs out
together. And I've not thought of this before when I've coached
with you, but that specifically came up in my spirit tonight,
like there's this actual level of abandoning your own self.
At times, and I would encourage you to pray into the root of
that, like, when is the first time you abandoned yourself in
some way. And so that could be a part of your identity, it could
be like, literally, like, you know, abandoning an idea that
you had, it could have been. I don't know, I even see like, did
you used to sing, Leslie?
No, but when you talk about abandoning, it kind of reminds
me of, I didn't realize till I was actually in my second
marriage, how much I disassociate. And that feels
almost like an abandonment, right? Yeah, yeah. I think I
picked that coping skill up from my father. But I, it's so
interesting, because I remember my second husband telling me
that I did this, I didn't completely trust him. So I was
like, I'm not sure. And while we were talking about it, I
guess I couldn't handle the conversation, because my head
went down, I got, I always get really tired, my head went down,
I was having a conversation, my head went down on the table, or
my head came up, everything was really funny. Like I just
disconnected from the reality of what I was talking about. And
now I've gotten to the place where, if I see it coming in, I
can stop it, you know, and stay grounded. Yeah. But I would say
that that's, that probably is abandoning stuff.
It is. And the reason I asked you if you ever sang is, I kept
seeing you by a microphone, but I think it has to do with your
voice. And so I first I would just wanted to know if you ever
used to sing because that was kind of the image I saw. But
even in a disassociating or this checking out getting really
tired, like, you know, their spirit of slumber can come on
people when situations are happening. There's all kinds of
stuff like the enemy does. But I feel like there was a sense of
also abandoning your voice.
My voice,
your voice. Yeah. Yes. opinion. Yes. thoughts, your values,
your my boundaries. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So as you lean into this
abandoning yourself, I feel like kind of, there's going to be a
new layer of you like almost like a self discovery that's
going to start to happen because you're gonna it's going to be
like you're discovering yourself all over again. Because these
parts of yourself that you disassociated from, if you will,
or abandoned. Have you have you ever heard me talk about
convergence? Like God's goals for those things, the little you
little Leslie and the current Leslie and in everything in
between to like even the mid age that they start to converge and
come back together. And and then you're becoming one you're
becoming whole versus being separate from different aspects
of your identity because of the trauma or the wounds that you
went through. And so I will look forward to just hearing
where this leads. Because, you know, you as you and I have kind
of chatted over time, I feel like the Lord is definitely
taking you a layer deeper in what you're sharing tonight. So
I feel like you're on to something, Leslie. So let's lean
into this and just see what like, kind of like where I
started tonight, you know, any little thing that comes to you.
Don't dismiss it, write it down. And you can come into the group
and share about it, you can come back next week, and we can
kind of unpack it more if we need to. But let's see where
this abandoning yourself, your voice identity, again, anything
that kind of comes to mind, and see where that leads you. And
you might find that even as a kid, you might have
disassociated. Like I know you're saying you might have
picked it up from your dad, which is probably very true. But
you probably started that kind of pattern and habit when you
were younger, and then it probably grew as you got
older. Yes, definitely. Because one thing I think is really
interesting is, I didn't grow up with physical affection. And
neither, of course, did my siblings and all of them then
turned around and were affectionate with their kids,
except for me. And I'm like, that's so interesting. Was I
disconnected from that need, even, you know,
right, you might have, I mean, in a lot of women, well, men,
too, but a lot of people that disassociate, do you have a
tough time actually fully connecting in relationship, like
they're in relationship with people, but they still have all
kinds of walls up. And it's, it's just not a very deep, like,
you know, and some people think sexual takes them deep, but it
doesn't. I mean, it does. When you're married, there's
covenant. And there's all this stuff that does bind you
together. But and it does before you're married to that's why
they tell you not to have sex outside of marriage. But I'm
just saying like, outside of sex, intimacy is taking people
deep, it connects people on really important levels in
relationship. And if people are not capable of connecting and
being intimate without sex, they're going to have a hard
time, you know, really being fully connected. And so God
wants to heal us and help us learn how to connect. You know,
even as babies, I just think about little infants, like the
way that we are created to connect with our moms and how
even stuff happens. You know, preemies are born early, and
then they can't their mom can hold them for only so much time.
And, you know, there's just all these assaults against
connection, if you will. So, um, let's pray into that forgive
yourself for anything you need to forgive yourself for, as it
comes up. And if you need to do more than one sheet, you know,
absolutely do that. But come back and let us know how it
goes. Okay, thank you so much. You're welcome. I'm gonna have
Karen share as well, but I won't be able to take any more after
Karen. If anyone needs to log out. I know we're already past
time. So I don't want anyone to feel like you have to stay on
because you know, I'm very aware of time. But Karen, I do want to
hear what you have to say and looking forward to it.
Thank you, Bethany. You're welcome. I joined just this
month. So I joined the supernatural Saturdays, since
the seventh. And then last week, I did my first replay the heart
check in. And there's just been a lot that I processed since
then. And I was in a mentorship relationship like three months
ago, and she was like the first person like I confided in about
abuse. So for me, it's like being able to forgive myself for
not saying anything. So there's two situations like the first
one was, my uncle had violated me, and haven't said anything.
But my niece had spoken out about my brother doing
something to her like 10 years ago. But then it's resurfacing
again with things that have come up, you know, in the church
setting, because he was also a part of my church, and still
continues to go to that church, I no longer am a part of. And
then my mom had passed away a couple years ago, and just seen
there also that the abuse that my mom experienced from my dad,
and I went through a divorce of abuse. So for me, it's like, my
children now are adults. And I never had that conversation with
them personally about, you know, what happened, like they kind of
know, bits and pieces. And then I also have grandchildren, and I
was going to supposed to go on a women's retreat last year, but I
was fearful of my grandkids being alone for the first time.
And the oldest grandson is like, eight years older than his
sister. And so just fearing, you know, like, do they clearly
understand, like, you know, physical boundaries of proper
affection. And so now, I guess my question is having that
conversation with my children. And seeing some ways my son
having those anger, personalities are just being
mean about certain things. And then also with my grandchildren,
who I'm spending time with right now during their spring
break, about, you know, if anything were to happen to them,
like, you know, speak up about it, you're not going to get in
trouble. So it's just been like, heavy on me were like, I didn't
do anything last week, like I just did week one, and then just
I've been there.
Yeah, and I will tell you,
you're gonna have stuff percolate to the surface.
It's very common that all of this stuff
is kind of surfacing,
and you're seeing a lot of this thread of abuse
throughout your life.
I would highly recommend,
even though they are your grandchildren,
just make sure that their parents are comfortable
with anything you're talking to them about.
Hopefully they would be,
but even though, again, it's your,
I don't know if it's the daughter or son,
but your kids, we just wanna honor them
in the process of that.
And just make sure that,
cause what can happen,
and it's not bad,
cause I used to do the same thing.
All of my friends,
I just told somebody this the other day,
back in the day when my friends were all having babies,
I would buy this book called The Right Touch.
I think that's what it was called.
And that's what I would,
I would get them other gifts too,
but I would give all of them that book
when, for the baby shower.
And I was told, like,
I just knew why I was doing it.
If they didn't like it,
they didn't have to use it,
but I was trying to plant seeds
to protect my friends' kids.
But here's the thing that what I realize now
is that there's a right way to go about it.
And we have to make sure that,
as this stuff is percolating to the surface for you,
that you're not talking to them out of a fear position,
or panic position.
You wanna process through your healing,
and then probably talk to your kids about it
as you heal a little bit more,
so that you have a more steady grasp
of even what do you need to tell them,
what don't you need to tell them,
you know, all that kind of thing.
And then regarding your son,
you know, the reality is,
and this is really tough, okay?
But adult children are going to make their own choices.
You can't protect your grandchildren,
unfortunately, from everything.
You can't protect your kids from everything.
We can do our best,
but our kids are gonna make choices,
and we have to pray and intercede for them,
and we can lovingly talk to them if that door is open.
But if he struggles with a lot of anger,
that door might not even be open
to have a conversation with him about that, not sure.
But, you know, as you heal,
I think God will show you whether or not to say something,
and if so, what to say.
And so I would give yourself a little more time
before you have those conversations.
Sometimes I recommend to people to write things out
before you ever even have a conversation,
so you can get really clear on your thoughts as well.
So I would start doing that now,
because you might need to flesh this out quite a bit, okay?
What I mean by that is there might be a lot
that you need to get out on paper right now,
and it may not be anything you say to him,
you know, five weeks from now, if you will.
Because as we heal,
we kind of dredge through all the muck, if you will,
and then we come to a balanced place
where we can have like that,
again, that conversation that's informed,
but it's stable and we're healthy
in our approach and communication of it.
Does that make sense?
Yes.
Yeah.
And so way to go that you're already sharing.
You're already sharing.
You've only been here a week.
You're talking to us.
That's great.
I would encourage you on...
I saw somebody asked earlier,
you can do a forgiveness prayer sheet
no matter what week you're on, ladies, okay?
So we're on forgiveness week on our live session.
So even if you're not in forgiveness week,
you don't have to skip ahead to that,
but you are gonna go ahead
and get the forgiveness prayer sheet out.
You have those in the welcome section,
so you don't even have to skip ahead to get them.
And I just want you to be praying this week about,
God, who do you want me to forgive?
And then you guys are gonna fill those sheets out.
So Karen, regarding...
I mean, there were several people you mentioned here, okay?
So I would start with what you shared tonight
with these people
and writing forgiveness prayer sheets out for them.
Now, you can't...
I mean, regarding your niece who spoke out,
regarding your brother, so that's her offense.
Now, if there was an offense you picked up for them
and you have unforgiveness towards your brother
because of something he did towards your niece,
then that's what you would need to write out.
Does that make sense?
He's like...
He was making accusations towards me
because I was also his sister in Christ
that I should be defending him on that case.
And this was like 10 years ago,
so he was kind of like attacking me.
Okay, so then that is a direct thing.
I just wanted to make sure as you're processing
the thing you mentioned about your niece,
what you're processing on our forgiveness prayer sheets,
we're always gonna process what happened to us
or even our own selves.
Like if we need to forgive ourselves...
selves, what do we do to ourselves or not do that we
should have done to protect ourselves? You know what I'm
saying? Okay, yeah. So I love this. Looking forward to hearing
how that goes for you, Karen, and going to be praying for you
regarding these conversations that you know, maybe will happen
at some point. But But again, give yourself a lot of space
right now. Okay, because this is just, it's a really fragile
journey. And what I don't want to see happen is you go and try
to have a conversation with your kids. And because there's a
lot of stuff all kind of torn up together, that it doesn't go
well. And then that can harm you and, you know, other ways and
maybe, you know, hinder that relationship. And so let's heal
a little bit more. Let's process what you're going through. Allow
yourself to kind of really think out and pray and ask the Lord
what what does he think you should say if anything to your
kids, and let's see where that kind of fleshes all out as you
go. Okay. Thank you so much. You're welcome. It's been an
awesome night, ladies. We got to close it down. I'm going to pray
us out. Father, thank you so much for the freedom in this
house. Thank you, God for your spirit that is alive and living.
And that your word is sharper than any double edged sword.
God, I thank you that your word is, is giving us life tonight
that there's truth and there's revelation. I pray for healing
and redemption in areas of our hearts and lives where it's
needed. God, we ask you to continue to place your head,
your protection around us and our families, God, that you
would. Yes, Lord, that you would continue to go before us even in
the heart healing process and help us to receive all that you
have for us. In Jesus name. Amen. Amen. God bless you all.
So glad to see you guys praying for you. Talk to you soon. Bye
bye.