Hey, gentlemen, if you are watching this in replay, woohoo, it is Monday, March 23rd.
And Jackie and David have asked me to check in with all the guys that are live.
So I would say if you are watching this in replay, whether it's the men's page, find
a way to give an update to Jackie and David on where you are, because we want to get y'all
out of the waiting room and into relationships, but we don't want to rush the healing process,
but we don't want you guys to stay stuck.
We have an incredible database of hundreds of women in our program that would love to
meet heart healed men like you, not to mention all of the women that are out in the wild
and or online.
So that's tonight's focus on it.
My first victim was Christopher, who we have discovered is 39.
He is about 10 years out from being widowed, does not have children, would like children,
but that's not his deal breaker.
He has a great job, so would not like to move.
But if it was the right person, might be open to that.
So how ready are you to get back out there?
Tell us, Christopher.
Well, after doing the online dating one on one thing, I mean, ready is is relative.
My heart is ready.
My my head, knowing all of the hoops to jump through for online dating, not looking forward
to that.
But you can't you can't put be expected not to put in some work for this kind of stuff,
you know?
Mm hmm.
But I'm I'm probably more positive about my future in relationships than I have been in
a very, very long time.
The hard work actually said it last week.
The hard work has been very illuminating.
And I just I feel finally that, yeah, you know what?
I can actually be positive about this process rather than just so love it.
So what do you think was your biggest takeaway from the hard work that's helping you?
I think the main thing was that idea that you have your identity tied up in the lies
you tell yourself.
And that that when I had to sit with, I just stopped on that kind of section and I had
to sit with that for a while.
And I at the end, I actually took an extra week at the end and said because I didn't
have a good answer.
Who are you, Chris?
And I thought I did.
I was ready to kind of write it down, and I had to take an extra week and really.
Debate with the Holy Spirit and accept some things and get rid of some of those lies.
And I actually had a really good journaling where I wrote down who I actually believe
I am.
So it was a very powerful process in that area.
I love that.
OK, so tell me some things that you're looking for in a mate.
So Jackie put on the spot, huh?
Well, I'm at every hour.
So guys that you're here listening, y'all are next.
So this is the goal of tonight's session.
I'm literally doing a one on one checking with y'all, getting an update, and I'm going
to be giving all the data to Miss Jackie Dorman.
So what you looking for?
I think that, you know, the main thing I think everybody wants a teammate in their life.
Someone who's, you know, actually on board to be part of a couple.
I'm fairly adventurous.
I like hiking.
I like going to new places.
I'm not necessarily, hey, let's go climb El Capitan.
I don't need a mate that's going to be willing to do that for me.
I would love a mate that's willing to wait for me at the bottom and go to pizza afterwards.
But you know, just something.
Hey, you want to try something new?
But I'm also willing to do the quiet dinner at home or the side by side on the couch.
So yeah, I'm looking for someone who wants to be a teammate, wants to have some fun,
but isn't broken hearted if we don't, you know, go to the Bellagio every weekend.
Yep, I get it.
Do you have, this is where you get to be honest, like, so you're 39, do you have an age range?
Do you have a height, looks, weight?
Is there anything in the physical realm that's like deal breaker-y for you?
I'm fairly open minded when it comes to race, when it comes to looks and stuff like that.
I think that when you guys talk about looks can grow, like an attractive, physical attractiveness
can grow.
You know, I'm sure there's a baseline for me, but I like to give women a chance and
see if we have a connection.
I would say as long as they care, I mean, and I think that you're not going to have
anybody in your community that doesn't care.
That's what I, someone who cares about it is willing to, because I work on it, you know,
I'm going to go work out after this.
Um, but no, I don't need, I don't need Aphrodite, um, and age range.
What about age range?
Uh, I mean, honestly, I, I'm pretty open.
Um, I don't, I don't think I'm ready for anyone in their twenties.
So, um, uh, but yeah, I think somewhere, you know, you might be 25, uh, 39, 35 to
45, somewhere in that range, because there might be like a 42 year old that
match your energy.
Um, so somewhere in that, we always say, like, I always feel like you can go five
years up, five years down, you know, typically.
Yeah.
And that's, uh, for me, it's, are we in the same stage of life?
That's really, as I have, I've had women who are, you know, 42 and they are
grandma and they are full on grandma mode.
And I'm like, I'm just not quite, I don't mind having, if you have grandkids,
it's not it, but it's just, I'm not ready for grandma mode.
No, I get you.
I got you.
All right.
Is there anything else that you want to say about this at all about you and, or
about what you're looking for?
And it sounds like you would be opened for some introductions to be, yes, I'm
absolutely open for introductions and, uh, I thought I had the perfect person
for you, but she's like 47.
Um, she's gorgeous though, but, and she's in Southern California and I
thought you were a little bit older.
So I'm going to be, am I thinking cat back on?
Hey, well, God, I mean, and I think that it has to be put on my profile or at
least I'm five, four and I can't get any more out of that, those inches.
I can't work out.
I'm four 11.
So I feel you, buddy.
Yeah.
And it's really funny cause you know what, um, I would not have known that
about you, but you know, I appreciate you saying that I come from a little
family, like my brother.
I mean, we're not just Italian, but we're Sicilian.
And so I'm pretty sure my, my brother is like five to just say, but in, in like
his wife is like my height.
And so all his kids are little, like my nephew might be five too.
And it's a real, it's a real issue.
Um, and I know, I know that's a deal breaker for someone.
I do not mind dating someone taller than me.
If they, if they somehow are fine with being a foot taller than me, I have dated
someone almost a foot taller than me.
And God bless you.
All right, Chris, that was so wonderful.
Well, feel like you, um, so can't be on camera and can't immediately answer
questions.
All right, David, what you may want to do is if you can type basically everything
that I'm asking.
So listen for the next person and listen for all the things I'm asking for things
that you want to summarize about yourself, like your age, where you live.
Are you willing to relocate?
Not relocate.
Do you have kids?
Do you want kids?
Are you willing to date long distance?
Not date long distance.
And what are your common interests?
Chris, tell me a little bit more about your faith because y'all can be in different
places in your faith.
Some people might be very tied to their denomination.
Some may not care.
So tell me a little bit more about your faith.
Uh, I'm fairly committed to I'd serve on a team at my church.
Uh, I actually grew up Presbyterian and now I go to a very kind of costal church.
So, uh, you know, wherever you want to worship, I'm probably open to it.
I'm, I'm the crazy Christian now.
So I love it.
Great.
I don't mind sitting in a Presbyterian church.
I love those services.
Good.
I got it.
Well, you know, it's funny.
I was on staff at it.
I mean, I grew up Catholic.
I was on staff at a Presbyterian church.
I've been to churches in college, like assembly of God, total Pentecostal.
And now I go to non-denominational, but I like all of it.
I mean, I feel like as long as the, I will say this, I don't like, I was at a church
recently and I do believe in the gifts, the Holy spirit, but it was turning into the Pentecostal
playground.
That's what I kind of call it.
I feel like when scripture goes out the window and we're doing a healing service every Sunday
in lieu of scripture, I'm like,
I've had my life changed by pastors of all denominations.
One of the greatest pastors that changed my journey was a Baptist preacher.
So, you know, that's great.
I'm open to everybody.
Okay.
Kevin, I'm going to put you on the spot.
Are you ready?
I don't know if I'm ready, but I'm here.
Okay.
So Kevin, first tell us a little bit about you.
Where are you in this journey?
Like, have you finished the heart healing?
Have you finished?
No, I got to, I got to level, I finished level three and I'm, I'm kind of going back and
forth with it.
So, so I went back and I started redoing all the questions from one to three.
So.
But then in there she says don't dig too deep, you know
Because a lot of this, you know when she's talking about
stuff in the past
I spent about
uh
Three or four years, um
In a place where
My my only reason to want to live was my kids and my grandkids
Other than that, I didn't there's no reason for me to be here at all
and and
so and I was reading the bible every day and listening to my praise music and praying and
and
um
You know, I
Kind of felt like I was abandoned by god
um
I've been in i've been in the i was raised christian. Um
I'm in pedro deo's group kingdom seekers and hundred acts
And that's kind of my denomination now is it's a kingdom life
You know, no no fine print
You know, there it is. Um, i'm really open
Really easygoing. Do you do you feel like you are? Um, so are you divorced never married widowed?
I've been divorced for 21 years
I have five kids that are 21 and up and I have seven grandkids
Um, i'm 58 years old
Grandkids, hold on
58 you said yes
And where do you live I live in valdez alaska
Oh my gosh, you're in alaska
I'm in alaska. Oh my gosh, you know what one of the women in our group just got a ministry position in alaska
But
um
So as I was saying is the heart work a lot of that stuff in those three years. I mean I was I was battling
dark forces, I mean
It was it
It had to be demons like, you know, and it'd be like they're sitting beside me talking even though I couldn't see him
Yeah, you know and there's nobody else around I didn't even have neighbors at the time
Yeah, you know
and
And the only thing that got me through that is my faith in my and my kids
you know
um, so I I kind of feel like I I dealt with all my heart work through that
And i've been out of that for about a year and a half now good
So are you so we want you to move forward too
Yeah, so you can get some of the videos that chris is talking about
Yeah, i'm probably going to go to four tomorrow
Start on four. Yep
and go through um
Because i'm even when I bring up the memories and stuff i'm not really getting any feeling out of it
So I i think i've dealt with it and forgiven and been forgiven
And
You know my god, even though I don't feel like I hear god or feel god
a lot of times uh, most of the time, you know, I mean
I'm, very pacific in my prayers about him answering me and it hasn't happened yet, but i'm waiting
so
uh as far as as far as me know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it's him and not just some voice in my
head, you know because
I pretty much ruled out of ruled out the inner voice because sometimes it says things that don't
biblically align
Yeah, you know so i'm like no that can't be god
So then it takes rid of everything else that I thought gets rid of everything else that I thought was god. Yeah
um
But so what do you so what are you looking for in someone?
Are you looking for someone? Let me start there
Yeah, I yeah, I am. I I do want somebody I want I want to meet the love of my life
Okay, i'm just i'm just
after 21 years of being single
I mean until
You know the last few few years the last five years. I really didn't care that
not much because
I was spending all my time working and seeing my kids and
you know because divorce and I was going back and forth to the states and stuff and
and uh, that's and then when I got out of that
you know, I mean i'd been
Went on it. I mean I I had a couple so kevin go back to what are you looking for?
Tell me what you're looking for. Um
Loving faithful
Adventurous to uh to an extent. I mean i'm not
A big mountain climbing person or hiking but I am a big mountain person woods
uh nature person
I like boogie boarding in hawaii in the winter my I got a son and daughter that live there
um
Just yeah
Uh, I mean
When i've talked to all the women online I spell it out and everything like that and I
I've been doing it for so long that i'm kind of discouraged about doing it anymore. You know what i'm saying?
Yeah, well, I will say this to you and this is true for all of you guys
the more clear you can sound and the more decisive you can
Sound like in the same way, when you start talking to women, you don't want to hear
all about their past and their trauma and their drama, right?
Like you can tune out really fast.
And if people ask you like, Hey, what do you like to do?
Have an answer ready.
Like, you know, and like, don't bring up the past.
And so Kevin, if you get to section four and you can get to the online dating
video, that teaching that Christopher's talking about, it's, it doesn't just
apply for online dates.
It really applies for how you start talking to people and what's appropriate
conversation.
What's not appropriate.
How do you text, how do you do the video date?
How do you get to a live date?
So I promise that will help you kind of get along.
Like, I want to seem like women are in the same way.
You guys, what I'm hearing is you guys want a woman that's fun and adventurous,
but also loves God.
And women want men who we feel like they're healed.
Like they've done their work and they're ready to go.
You know what I mean?
And they're not going to bring their past with them, so to speak.
Right.
Yeah.
Um, okay.
So what else might you be looking?
Are, do you have an age range?
Do you care about looks?
Do you, are you willing to long distance?
And are you set on, do you need her to come to you?
Well, obviously I'm willing to long distance.
Don't need her to come to me necessarily.
The company that I worked for for 21 years just sold out.
So, but I am in a union that usually places me with jobs, but right now I'm in
between jobs.
It would be easy for me to move, uh, physically, financially, not so much right
now, but yeah.
Um,
How would you feel about, are all your kiddos and grands in Alaska though?
No, I have two kids here in Alaska with six of my grandkids, two kids in Hawaii.
And one in Idaho, but he's in jail.
So, um, I am, I am a Northern, I'm a Northern Northwestern type of guy.
I love it.
Thank you for sharing all that.
Awesome.
I want to make sure I get to everybody.
So I'm going to keep going.
Um, Chris, you've been sitting here looking full of attention and polite.
And so I'm going to go, I'm going to jump to you.
So talk to me.
Tell me where you are at in the heart work and watching all the videos.
Are you ready to get out there?
And if you are, start telling me about yourself.
Yeah.
So I am in, in the heart work.
I'm in the third week of the heart work and I've identified one issue I need to
work through.
Yep.
Um, and so I'm, you know, I'm in the process that, um, and this has really
been a great experience.
I actually found this program through two women that I met that had, that have gone
through it.
Um, you know, not too far away from me.
I live in Charlotte, um, North Carolina, and I literally moved here knowing
nobody, the Lord told me to move here.
I was obedient and, um, I found a great spirit filled church that I really like.
It's like little Bethel.
Um, and, um, so I've been meeting, you know, they have a lot of activities and so
I've been meeting a lot of people there.
They do equipping and, um, so it's really been a good experience for me.
Um, I, I'm willing to relocate to some locations.
So fortunately this is halfway between my two daughters.
I have two daughters and eight grandchildren.
Um, this just happens to be halfway between my two grandchildren and I'm also a
geologist and the geology in North Carolina is like really complicated.
It's not like the Rockies of it.
There's a lot of women in your area.
How old are you?
So I'm 62.
There's 70, there's 70 people in the Raleigh slash Charlotte group.
How many?
Yeah.
Are you guys doing social stuff together?
Are they planning stuff?
Um, I haven't seen a lot of stuff planned so far, but I haven't been in, I haven't
been here that long.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, yeah, you just got here.
So do you feel ready to start dating yet?
Or do you feel like you want to get through a little bit more of the heart work
first?
Well, I'll tell you, I'll tell you what my experience has been.
I've been married twice.
I mean, I, I've been single now for 17 years.
My second marriage was super short, a big mistake, but I learned from that.
And so just short of two years ago now, for the longest time, all I ever heard
from the Lord was Psalms 46, 10, which is be still and know I am God.
And, um, so just short of two years.
there now. He told me and verified through a dream that I had from him that he wants me to go and
find a wife. So it's been an interesting experience because I haven't met with that many women and
the women that I've actually gotten to the point of you know we both want to meet
and we we met more than you know two or three times. All those experiences,
God revealed something to me about myself that I needed to work on.
I love that. Yeah. That sounds good.
So it's like I think of it as like the final preparation for whatever he has in store.
So I have worked through some things and I have you know a close circle that is kind of you know
working with me and helping me, encouraging me and keeping me on track. I love it. I love it.
So what are you looking for in a woman? So mine's actually written out in a form of a prayer.
I've written four faith-based books. I'm a writer.
Oh my gosh, wait. I gotta add that in. Writer written.
Do you want it? Is it written down that you want to just cut and paste it into the chat so I can
grab it? Or do you want to just tell it to me? Well I'll tell it to you and then I'll try and
cut and paste it when I get off. You know when somebody else's turn I'll try and cut and paste
it in here for you. So here's my prayer. It says, Lord thank you for this day. I pray that you will
lead me to a spouse who's on fire for you. I pray for iron shepherds iron and someone whom I'm
attracted to. Someone free from addictions and who's free of significant financial burdens.
Someone who's filled with the fruit of spirit. Someone with a compatible personality and common
interest. Someone. All right hold on, hold on, hold on. I need you to stop for a second.
When you say attracted to, what is attracted to you mean? Do you have a look or do you have a
So that's kind of weird because you know I'll give you a specific example. So I was never
attracted to red-headed women and I found one. I went out with her for three months.
What was it? What kind of woman? Red-headed. Oh red-headed. I was never really attracted to them
but I found one. I went out with her for three months before that blew up. So no I don't have
a particular look. I mean there are some discriminators. You know like most people
have certain things I really don't like. What don't you really like?
Don't assume I know. I don't think I would be happy with a woman with a New York accent.
No you don't have a New York accent. Well you haven't heard me say coffee.
Well I mean I mean it's just a little bit I don't know. Well I've been in Nashville for 20 years so
it's been reined in. It's been reined in but I feel you because like that New York, New Jersey
like or Boston accents super thick. I got you. Yeah. Or is it more that personality style maybe?
So I'm a big psychology nerd. So yes I am totally into the Myers-Briggs personalities and
you know I click really well with somebody with a very similar personality to mine.
What is yours? I'm an ENFJ. I'm an ENFP. Yeah I mean exactly. Yeah so like yeah I would get along
really well with an ENFP. Yeah. And if I meet somebody with one of those two I mean we're like
two peas in a pod. I mean it's just you know super easy to talk to and relate to each other. See this
is so good. It's helped me. Okay what are some of your interests? So I'm really into nature. Like
God communicates with to me through nature. I'm a geologist obviously. I love the mountains and
the rocks and the faults and the folds and the fossils. I like to hike and I'm an outdoorsy
person. I like most sports but I'm real clumsy. I'm not really a great athlete but I do enjoy
playing different sports. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. This is awesome.
Chris I don't know if I knew you that well but I'm so excited to get to know you. Thank you.
So just so you know I've been a part of Jackie's program for five years. I was a member first
then I came on staff while I was working at a non-profit and then I stepped down from that
role and then I've been in seminary. So I took a little time off from this community, met my person.
We got married in October and Jackie
Jackie asked me to come on back on the teaching team.
So I'm just teaching.
I teach in the co-ed classes.
You'll see me there.
And sometimes I will pinch in and help here.
So I'm excited to get to know you.
And as Christopher said in the beginning,
Jackie does, and she might be,
I think she's re-filming a lot of them.
She's re-filming a lot of them.
So I don't know if she's gonna re-film my dating one.
I don't know.
But, and so we had just had a class.
I don't know if all of you guys go to it,
but last Thursday night when we did an online dating one,
where I talked about all things dating,
really initial dating.
So Kevin and Chris and anybody else knew,
I think all the replays are available for you guys as well
in the app.
And so that's what last Thursday's teaching was on,
just was all on that.
And okay.
So is there anything else you wanted to tell me about you?
I cut off your prayer because you were describing things
that I'm like,
I just want to make sure I know what he's talking about,
but I didn't mean to do that.
So if you want to finish reading it,
I'll let you finish reading it.
I don't want you to think I'm being rude.
Someone who's healthy and passionate
and enjoys deep, meaningful conversation.
You're not being rude.
Deep, meaningful conversations, as well as humor.
Someone who's honest and trustworthy
and easy to talk to.
And I said, leave me in your way
and wisdom to the right person for me.
Thank you, Lord.
Awesome. All right.
I got it.
That was so good.
Chris, it was fun getting to know you now.
Look forward to it.
So I usually come on Monday nights, probably once a month.
So I'll do it once a month.
David does it probably twice a month.
And Mike, who is not here tonight,
usually does it once a month.
So there's just, there's usually a mixture of us.
Okay.
Thank you.
You bet.
Andy, dude, I see you.
Where did I put your name?
Here we go.
Andy.
Okay.
Andy, do I know you?
Have I?
Oh, and I do know you.
You've got the girlfriend from like,
that's like long distance, super long distance, right?
Yep.
How's that going?
I'm good.
Yeah, I did have a little bit
of another culture shock argument recently
that we worked through.
This time it had to do with like exes
because here's the thing.
Like the last week I ran into my ex-girlfriend
and she introduced me to her husband
and she's like pregnant with their first child.
You know, I was, you know,
I was very happy for her and everything.
And, you know, I happen to be okay with, you know,
being friends with an ex, you know,
if it's like under certain conditions
where it's like, you know, safe to be, you know,
it's like she's married and everything.
And so at least, you know, being friendly,
I don't have to like necessarily go seek her out
or anything.
But if I happen to see her,
I'm not gonna like ignore her or anything.
So that's American culture for you.
Yeah.
But Philippine culture is once you break up, you're gone.
Like you're like, you become strangers.
Like even if you parted on good terms,
like you never speak to the person ever again
in your whole life.
And that's what their culture is like.
So if they run into them,
they just pretend they don't know each other
and they keep walking?
Probably.
Wow.
So keep that in mind.
So was she jealous?
So I told her that what happened, you know,
with the thing and I said I was, you know,
happy for her or anything like that.
And she like got really mad.
And of course it's always worse
when you're dealing with text messages.
And-
Do you guys speak the same language?
Yeah, she's fluent in English.
I mean, her native language is Tagalog,
but she's fluent in English.
Okay, so do you guys mostly text or do you mostly FaceTime?
Well, unfortunately we mostly text
because of our busy schedules,
but I'm trying to change it.
So at least I encouraged her to maybe like
send voice messages or video messages
more than text if possible,
because we keep having problems with the text.
Well, because you're already,
because you're losing communication.
You're losing 80% of the communication.
You're losing tone, inflection, body language.
So that's-
Yeah.
So adding culture to it.
Have you down, you guys should do the Marco Polo app.
Marco Polo?
Oh, I never heard of that.
Yeah, Marco Polo, maybe Danger Dave,
is gonna put it in the chat for you
on how to find Marco Polo.
It's, I mean, obviously young people use Snapchat
on social media the same way,
but Marco Polo, like Brian and I have been Marco Polo-ing
since we first met.
So we literally have some of our first videos.
that we did with each other and it's perfect when you're not on the same time zone in the same
schedule you can leave a quick video blurb they do a video blurb so your video you're videoing
back and forth so you can see and hear and like what we have on we have whatsapp which is which
also does that stuff i know but the problem with whatsapp is you're not capturing like real
the from what i remember with whatsapp you can leave a video but it's not the same i promise
you like in marco polo you can like send thumbs up you can send hearts to it you can write well
you can do all you can do all that same stuff in whatsapp so then why don't you guys leave
videos to each other um well i mean it's just a matter of like um well i mean i i do it more than
her um but she'll send me pictures and some some videos like of if she went like hiking or
something she'll send me videos you just you guys need to get in the habit you need to get you need
to have more verbal conversations andy you yeah i totally agree about proposing to her like that
really concerns me that you guys don't have enough verbal conversations and you're thinking about
proposing yeah i mean i know that we've like when we're in person like it's constant you know
face to face but right but how long how many weeks are you going between each visit
well i mean um so the first visit was for a one week and um and and then um and when was that
visit that was in um in july and then the second visit um the second visit was like around christmas
time and that was like two weeks um but but you're going months you realize you're going months
without face-to-face contact so you need to increase this is what this is what you guys and if
what i'm telling andy is true if she's from alaska to california it's the same it's the same applies
you need to do as much video live conversation as much as possible you want to stop using texting
as your major form of communication you're you you you lose so much in translation and that's
american to american let alone different cultures um and so that's that's going to be my biggest so
did you guys and i will say this to andy when you guys hit a snag by text do not solve it by text
say we're going to table this conversation until we can talk live because yeah i cannot solve it
on a text i have had situations where like i'm begging her like please let's do a video chat
but she's just too angry to at that moment um that concerns me that oh my gosh that really
concerns me andy like you want but then but then later she but then later she like does it
and we make out how much later like i mean after like does she need to de-escalate
well i don't know like like after a few hours of like back and forth through text eventually i get
her to agree to video and then okay so what you need to do instead of doing the back and forth
you need to say i'm not texting anymore till we can talk live and you just stop texting yeah they
will keep texting if you keep texting but you just say i love you we are not doing this
conversation by text pick up the phone and call me and just stop texting her yeah but what if
she's the one who's like saying let's stop talking right now because she's just angry at that moment
well then you stop talking okay you're not going to fix it by texting you're not and because if
you marry her she's going to be in your face all the time and so when you guys get mad at each
other like you got to figure it out like brian and i got mad at each other yesterday i took a
one hour walk downtown i'm like i gotta leave the house and i just took an hour walk do you
know what i'm saying but like i'm not saying it's not going to happen because if someone's upset and
they need to de-escalate we need to give them a chance to de-escalate we can't go begging for
them but yeah but i want i really want to see you increase your video time with her do you get on a
video for a long conversation at least once a week yeah usually unless we're like our schedules are
really maxed out see that's that's part of the problem is because we're both very busy people
and that's the main reason why we don't have a chance to okay i know that but you have to make
this a priority if you're going to propose to this person across the world i'm just trying to
protect you andy yeah i mean and i i push for it it's just you know it's mostly on her end like
it's up to her if she wants okay so tell me why do you feel
comfortable proposing to her then?
Well, I mean, well, first of all,
we've been together for like 11 months.
Do you feel like your relationship,
have you guys thought about doing Simbis together?
It's actually required by law in her country.
So are you gonna do it before you propose?
Well, I mean, the Simbis is for when you're engaged.
Nope, Brian and I did it pre,
most people do it pre-engagement.
It's a great time to do it pre-engagement
because this way, if you have to break up,
you don't have to make a big fanfare about it.
Nobody needs to know.
Okay, but even if we do it before,
then we also have to do it after too.
Okay.
It's kind of repetitive, it seems like.
I just wanna make sure you're getting yourself
into a healthy situation.
I don't have time to do a whole one therapy session
with you, I have to move on.
But guys, tell me if I'm being too harsh.
Am I showing appropriate concern?
You're in the ballpark, Rizzo, you're good.
Yes, I think so too.
Okay. I hate texting.
Okay. It causes problems.
You've been very gentle and kind, you're good.
Okay, all right.
We love you, Andy, we want the very best for you.
Okay, Tim, are you ready for me to interview you?
Sure, why not?
As long as my connection holds up.
All right, well, that's why I'm going fast,
but I've also seen you camera ready for a bit too,
so I'm trying to be mindful of that.
Okay.
Tell me where are you in the heart healing
and watching all the videos?
I have gotten to chapter six
and I have like zero time for things right now
cause I'm working two jobs.
I am looking to get out of one job
by increasing the other job,
but the slow season,
it's still kind of the slow season right now at that job.
So.
Do you feel like I'm healthy?
I really am ready to start dating
or I need to keep working on my heart stuff
as I can slip it in.
Where are you on your readiness?
First answer that comes to mind is halfway ready.
Well, I guess the second question I would ask,
and you guys like Brian had three jobs when he met me
and he was three and a half hours away.
He made time.
So that's why I say to you, Andy,
if people love you and they're pursuing you,
they'll make the time for you.
So, but Tim, do you have time to,
I'm not taking questions yet, Hunter.
We're just doing one person at a time.
I'll get you, but.
So do you feel like you have the time
to commit to invest in somebody right now?
Are you thinking about that question?
Yeah, yeah, I'm thinking.
I don't answer questions quickly.
Okay, no, no, no.
I wanted to make sure I didn't lose you, that's all.
No, no, I'm still here.
And your answer could be, I'm not sure.
I could definitely make some
for a real person in front of me.
Yeah.
I don't have a lot, but I'm not sure.
I don't have a lot, but I can make some.
It's not like I have absolutely zero social life.
I am in Minnesota.
Easier to date in person than right now.
Yeah, or lots of phone calls.
I have tons of time for phone calls at one of my jobs
because I'm a tow operator
and our tow zone is too small for our staff.
So I do a lot of sitting around for four hours a shift.
How old are you?
32.
32, man, you're a little puppy.
Okay, are you divorced?
Never married?
Kids, no kids, want kids?
Never married.
I'm putting not sure about kids.
That's what I'm feeling.
I'm becoming more open to it as time passes.
So.
Yep.
Okay.
What are you looking for?
What do you like to do?
Tell us what you like to do.
Adventure in many forms.
I like getting out and doing things.
Mount biking, snowboarding, cross country skiing.
Recently had a friend get me into pickleball.
Metal concerts.
You get the gist.
I got it.
What you looking for?
A partner in adventure and cuddling.
Must be cuddly.
That is hilarious.
So physical touch is one of your love languages.
I am an oxytocin junkie.
Now, is oxytocin a lot of touching?
It's the cuddle hormone.
Oh, the cuddle hormone?
That's so funny.
That is hilarious.
See, and I'm a...
What do they call it?
Like, I need brain sex.
I think that's Saseo.
There's a name for the intellectual stimulation.
Okay, that's good.
Is there anything else you want to tell me about yourself?
I don't do well with open-ended questions.
Okay, do not worry about it, Tammy.
You know what?
You're also cutting out.
So if you want to type some of this in the chat, and then I'll cut and paste it over
to my summary, because I'm typing very fast right now, so I'm going to clean all of this
up before I send it to Jackie and David.
So feel free.
Okay, I don't know what you missed, but I should put in the chat.
Oh, if there was anything that you didn't get, because you said it's hard for you to
do open-ended questions or kind of think on the spot.
As I'm talking to other people, if you think of things you wished you said, or you want
me to know about you and or what you're looking for, you can add it to the chat, and then
I'll cut and paste it with what you've already told me.
Okay.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Okay, perfect.
Perfect.
Okay.
David, I see you're on camera now.
So did you already put a summary in the thing?
No, I sent another message that's saying that that was not really possible.
So that's why I'm on camera.
Oh, okay.
So are you going to tell me some stuff right now?
Well, unfortunately, I came in 10 minutes after you already gave the intro of the whole
deal.
Okay.
So here's what I'm...
Do you want me to give you a summary of what I'm trying to do for everybody?
Yeah.
Okay.
So the first question I'm asking is, where is everybody in their heart work?
Like are you just starting?
Are you almost done?
Are you...
And like really letting us know how ready you are to start dating.
I know you've been in a while, so you've probably have already finished the heart work.
So that's like the first thing.
Then you're summarizing a little bit about yourself, your age, where you live.
I know you've personally told me this, but now I'm typing it all up.
Some things that interest you, are you divorced, single, never married, widowed?
Do you have kids?
Do you want kids?
Can you relocate, not relocate?
And so you're telling us a little bit about yourself.
So I'm putting together kind of a little summary, and then you're telling me a little bit about
what you're looking for.
So heart healing, you have finished, correct?
Yeah, I've gone through the heart work.
I mean, I still am in other communities that kind of focus on that as well, but yeah, not
just this community.
Okay, so remind me how old you are.
A young 51.
I love that.
I like to tell people, I'm too old to be young, but too young to be old.
And you're in what side of Pennsylvania are you, middle, east, west?
East, so I'm only like maybe less than a two hour drive from New York City.
Oh yeah, that's right.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Are you never married?
I forget.
Yes, I'm single, never married.
I guess, I mean, I was, I guess I was hoping to be married by now, but I had two things
that happened in my life I was not expecting, like my father passing away three days after
I turned 38.
And so that sent me into a depression for about five years.
And then the next four years I got stuck in a situationship that was very bad.
And in the last year plus has been healing from that.
So yeah.
I understand.
Okay.
What are you, what do you like to do?
Tell us some things you like to do.
I like going for walks, hikes, you know, a little jogging, that kind of stuff.
I need to get more consistent in it.
So I'm glad spring is here.
What else?
Oh, I'm crazy about classic cars.
I'm into all that kind of stuff.
So I like to go to, you know, I don't do it often, but I like to go into like local junkyards
that have...
The rare ones the only a few here and there have classic car sections. So but yeah
Cool I like it. All right, what you looking for?
Here we go this the on the spot stuff, um
I'm looking for someone I guess obviously with in a reasonable age range of me
but because I still
You know, I may be 51, but you know, I feel like I'm still like 37
That's like just in my physical health and then where I am mentally in my life and the space of life
So so that would mean that
Yeah, I want kids of my own so that means, you know, hopefully a
Woman as young as like 39 is open to that, you know, even though I'm not
Yeah, nine to like 46 she could probably more easily have kids it's not that she can't later it just gets harder
Yeah
Okay
Is there see cuz I love it. Who is it?
Chris was the one that honestly told me about the New York personality
so you guys telling me what you don't like is also really helpful like
You know Chris and Andy both mentioned there, you know 5-4 I'm 411
There's some guys that just don't want to date short girls. I have a very athletic built
I look like a soccer player slash gymnast some guys like a thin girl. I got a booty
So, you know I'm saying so like if there's things you don't like David's laughing. Oh
Yeah. Yeah to be honest. I'm looking for a girl. That's like at least like five five five six cuz I'm 511
Um, yeah, I'm not into like a huge
Difference. I know this is kind of weird. It's not like a huge thing. It's not like a deal breaker
It's fair. It's not like a deal breaker, but it's kind of a preference and then I'm gonna think I'm gonna go
Along with with someone else said here
Yeah, I think Tim mentioned it but I'm definitely looking for someone that's that that's a cuddler once it gets that point
I don't want to rush to that point, obviously
Yeah
That's a high level three thing and not be yeah
I was gonna say and Tim you should probably take note of this too because some women have had
Damage done in the past if men mention
sex
Too much cuddling too much like intimate foreplay II kind of stuff in those first and second dates
It can be a little overwhelming and kind of triggery
So just know that a lot of our you know
a lot of women need to get past the first couple of dates before we talk about like
Major cuddle fest. Do you know I'm saying like to your point we teach in discovery
Yeah, perfect. Yeah
People
Perfect
Perfect. I love that. Yeah, so real quick
Even more important to me is I'm my biggest like language is spending time
And that doesn't mean that we have to be super focused on each other like playing a board game together
Like just being the same room. Yeah, it makes a difference for me
Like if they want to be working on like a crossword puzzle, you know, I'm well, I'm you know
You know figure something out or whatever or write something down, you know that counts so I got you
I got you. Okay, I'm moving on. That was good David. Thank you. I appreciate that. All right, Hunter
I know I know you have already done with the heart the heart work
You live in upstate New York
Yes
And I'm I made my heart my decision would be to not be on an app and I'm asking why do I need to be?
on an app because I
Are you never you're never married right? No, do you want kids? Yes
Remind me how old are you? Yes
Remind me how old are you? Can you guess I'd like to say all right, there's a
37 I said 35 I did pretty good nice. Oh, you're close and you can relocate, right?
Get to know me because I don't last thing that's gonna be a yes or no
I would say get to know it's okay if I say get to know me
Yeah, because we it's gonna take time and other factors and this is it
Yeah, I got you. Um
What are you looking for
Well three things in a woman
I wanted to be literate and have common sense and can use your head and
then I'd like to close intimate companionship can't follower one who be with me to the end and
Then good looks you don't have to be
modeling like like
Modeling or so like smoking one in a room a good looks and physical appearance would be a significant plus
Yeah, well, you're a good-looking guy hunter. So I get you you want her you want her to be put together for you
Yeah, like well not cleavage and beauty, but I mean I'm picking up what you're putting down
I wasn't thinking that I wasn't thinking just it just to be a good plus in nice. Yeah. Yeah. What about some activities?
What do you like to do? I like to go. I'm physical guy
I'm going to a gym and tomorrow I got jiu-jitsu Mary. She would like to come my life
I really come to my game vibes. I don't mind she does physical and also I like to be outdoors
I can't go a day without doors if you pick between mountains and beach. I like beach all the time
Yeah, you didn't go to the Bahamas on a single screws for nothing. Yep
Well, I'm not travel
Whenever I travel you're a good traveler
Finance when I have financial stability. Yeah
Like common sense like she she can use her head and solve stuff and is literate because my ex was illiterate and I was
distraught
Five six seven eight nine. All right. I got nine one two, three
Four
five six
Seven eight awesome. Okay. So the only two people I've left are David and Christopher David since you're alive
Where'd you go danger David I'm having you go next I can't tell if Chris is here or not. Does Chris been chatting?
No, I
Didn't think so
I'm here. Oh, you are. Oh, I love it. Okay, I'm gonna get you next. Okay, I'm
Danger Dave. All right. I know you are in Canada, right? I am. Yeah east side middle or West
Ontario
Tell me what tell me that Easter East East. So that's like New York side of Canada
Yeah, like I'm so like the Thousand Islands is 30 minutes from me. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, and you are 32
33
And you want kids but you're open if she's got kids
Yeah, if she has kids, I'm totally like I'm good
I don't I don't need more than that. Like yeah, even if they're older kids, I'm cool. You do you're an artist
What do you else do you like to do? Yeah, I'm an artist poet. I'm writing kids books that kind of thing. Yeah
Do you like to do sports adventure?
Like yeah, I love adventures. I'm a big antique guy. So I love to like go and find treasure
Recently found a first edition of Winnie the Pooh. That was fun. Very cool
Yeah, very cool
Okay, and what are you looking for?
Yeah, so I am looking for someone who is not fearful avoidant
No fearful avoidance and no coercion. That would be great. But I'm I'm currently in a level three right now. So
Yeah
Okay, I'm behind the eight ball catch me up in two minutes or less
Yeah, we'll be quick. So she's an amazing person
She's not a believer though. So my friend my dear friend David Henshaw was like, hey, you should come on
David and I had a good chat last night
He's like you should come and just share that with men's ministry and I said, okay, but she's an incredible person. So yeah
How did you meet her? I met her because when I was getting the Winnie the Pooh book
she had driven from Montreal to get teacups and we hit it off and
You met her in the wild that's how you got hooked up with a non-believer and you were it was a shared interest
Yeah, it makes sense now
Okay, where is where is she on the not a believer scale?
Tell me more
like I would say
Extremely close and very open and she's made it clear
She says I know you're different, but I know that different is Jesus and she said like what I see in you is God
She says that's not I'm sensing something different, but she says but I know that's not you. That's your God
What's her faith background if anything she grew up a believer
and then really strong super Pentecostal and then her dad died and
Then the mom was like, well God didn't save dad
so and then it was like
From like 16 onwards. It was like God didn't save dad
She needs heartwork
Yeah, would she be willing you can buy that book on any book, you know, she didn't even have to go through the program
I mean if you wanted yeah, you could have her you can you guys can read the book together?
Because it uses a lot of like not just Jesus II words
But it talks a lot of me because Chris was just talking about that
and I think both Chris has talked about that and just like there's some
Just like there's some
Like really cool things in there that might really help her process of that grief
Yeah, and I think like I I don't know I don't know what I'm doing because I'm like
I never thought I would ever date a non-believer
So, I don't know I get it though, I mean, I mean it's it's
Would you could you see yourself being married to the hard part is she's a believer
She's just her
That's like if she grew up an atheist or she grew up Muslim
I'd say we'd have a lot harder road to climb
She's a believer who's been her and her mother coached her to walk away from God. Do you know what I'm saying?
Like yeah, she's somebody that needs to come back home
Mm-hmm. I feel like that's different. Does she sound bitter towards God sad?
No
When I first met her I said do you love Jesus and she said yeah, I love Jesus
So and and I think she's more like curious like she gets excited whenever I tell her testimonies
And she says just tell me stories like I want to hear what God's doing
Okay, and and I asked and I'm like she's like no like she said Dave like I know that what you're saying is real
Because she says I can see it. Like this is not you. This is she says your God is real
And so there's been a lot of really cool like we've talked about
Might like doing the heart work with you
Then you might want to you might want to whip out that book with her and start doing it together with her
Yeah
Ian what you also might want to do is
During like supernatural Saturday is have her start listening to some of those with you
Yeah, supernatural Saturdays aren't my thing
You don't like them. I
Yeah, I've run into trouble with them so okay, okay, I had personal information that was shared on them so I'm not a big fan
Wait somebody shared your personal information Oh Jackie did. Yeah
Sorry
Yeah, it happened about six times. So then I was like, oh, she's all oh golly. Let's just sorry. Yeah
Fair enough, I understand. I'm sorry. I'm not bitter. I love her. I love you. No, I'm gonna leave it right there. It's all good
You know, I struggle I understand
Send a prayer with candy might be another option. Oh, yeah, she would love that
Yeah, she might she might love that especially because of her background. She might really she might really love that
Okay. Well keep us posted
Okay, well keep us posted
I'm glad you talked to David and I would say stay accountable in this group like keep being honest with the guys
Yeah, I know in the same way. We're making Andy be honest with us because we care about Andy we care about you
So that's that's what David Henshaw told me yesterday, right?
He's like, you know, you need to just go back to the council and talk to the guys again and just like just be honest
So yeah
And saying that is there any of the guys do you guys like anything to Dave?
I
Think you're putting her the end of the crisis a good way to start Dave way to go
Yeah
Okay, because this is a shared community
so if you guys have words of wisdom you want to give to Dave feel free to
Jump in real quick. I mean I dated someone who
Had never been to church not once and I went to her church first time
She was and I didn't know church was like this
So it honestly could be a really great experience for the two of you to go through
Mm-hmm. Yeah
Yeah, like she's really open. So I like yeah, and she's always asking for Bible verses or if there's a special situation
She says hey, can you just take a second and give us a verse right now?
And I think okay, yeah, we'll give a verse and she's like, let's just take a second think about it
So
That's what's really great about it is she's open and curious and asking questions about it and willing to listen without shutting you out
Yeah, yeah, are you hearing what I'm here? I hear that maybe her hang-up is really like the
Legalistic side of things not really the spiritual side or are believing so maybe it's just a matter of finding that path to a life-giving church
That's not legalistic
Yeah, cuz she said she's never known a God that's free and she said you're so free
It's like you don't follow any rules, but you love Jesus. So that's kind of the thing. Anyways, yeah, and that's me. That was me
When I was dating my wife as I was all rules and God is a unfeeling sitting on his throne
Just judging all of us and we'll never measure up and that yeah, so I think you could change
I think there's there's wiggle room there was for me
Yeah, thanks Chris. I love that. All right, Christopher DeLuca
You're a blast man last but definitely not least
Very in my life. I know. Okay. So remind me how old you are
and where you live.
35, Syracuse, New York.
Oh my gosh, you're also upstate New York.
Jeepers.
And you've done the hard work
because you've been here long enough.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Okay, tell me a little bit.
Tell us a little bit about yourself, Smithing.
Never married, correct?
Never married, no kids.
A horrible old woman.
Yes.
Two and a happy accident.
Yeah.
Would you be willing to, or can you relocate?
Are you willing to long distance and she come to you?
What are your options there?
No, relocate's really hard right now
because I'm three years into my first home
and I'm immensely happy here
with a good high paying job
that pays like above the medium for my city.
Yeah.
Yeah, I feel like I have everything I need
to be a good partner here.
That's okay.
You know, you guys, it's okay to own it.
Like it's okay to say like, you know,
you'd be really hard pressed to want to leave
or have to leave.
So it's okay to own that.
Tell us what you like to do.
What I like to do.
I have an obscure sense of adventure,
but I like going from town to town
and I like going to places
that I've never been to before.
I like going from town to town
at different conventions, pop culture, video games, anime.
I like building and repairing computers.
It's some degree of problem solving.
I like cats.
God, I like cats.
I like my cat that's sitting right next to me.
I don't know if she's going to talk to you.
You got anything to say?
You want anything to say, lady?
And now she's looking around.
Okay, well, I love video games and anime.
That's about it.
Awesome.
Okay, what you looking for?
If I had my way, short, petite, blonde,
blue eyed, blonde bombshell.
But if I were to kind of put the, you know,
hide the less critical check boxes,
my more important ones, God fearing, of course,
kind, caring, affectionate, and unapologetically feminine.
Okay.
Okay, so Christopher, what are you doing
to be looking for somebody right now?
What are you doing these days?
I'm on almost every dating app under the sun and I hate it.
The bigger answer-
So what's happening?
Are you not getting matched up?
Are you not getting to video dates,
not getting to live dates?
Where are you getting stuck?
Very few to little matches.
If I start having conversations with anybody,
they're very like surface level.
They don't really get anywhere.
They go, you know, they ghost quickly.
There is not an abundance of high quality woman.
So as far as what I'm doing about it,
I'm putting more of my focus out of the dating apps
and into actually trying to start
a singles ministry in this city.
Right, I love it.
Do they have like the jigsaw dating
and speed dating in your area?
Yeah, I've been to a couple lock and key events
and I've gone to a couple speed dating events.
Speed dating's fun, but like most of the women there
are agnostic, so I don't really put my eggs in that basket.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right, so in general for you guys,
and this is the question for all of you,
like are you, have you, has Jackie yet introduced
you guys to some women and or have you seen women
on any of the single spotlights
that you want to be introduced to?
Like when I was, who said that?
Me.
Hunter, is there somebody you want to meet?
Um, no, I remember a single spotlight.
I would like to go revisit them again first
and then that'd be cool.
And, well, I don't know if it's possible
about being on spotlight either, but oh well.
I will let, well, I know this,
Jackie's moving to doing spotlights on Instagram.
Are you all willing, and I don't know when
she's gonna start doing it again,
are you all willing to be spotlighted on Instagram?
Maybe not Andy and Dave,
cause you guys are in relationships right now.
Yes.
Chris, Tim, David, Christopher, Chris, Kevin.
No objections.
Okay, so you're all, yep.
Okay.
I'll do it.
Good.
Willing to be spotlighted.
All right.
Is there any question or?
Renee.
Renee, I wrote a comment to you.
Please see that.
Oh, awesome.
Hold on.
Yeah, would you be opening me, supplementing
some of the stuff I said in chat?
Yeah, please do.
OK.
Please do.
Oh, Chris, thank you.
Let me grab yours.
I'm coming down now.
I put a couple of things in there.
Yeah, I'm going in.
Hold on.
Thank you for saying that.
I was having such a good time talking to you all,
I forgot to go look at the chat.
All right, added that.
Christopher, your LEGO is impressive.
Yeah, I know.
This is going to be like video date if we get to three.
Wait, Tim, you're six foot in the morning?
What does that mean?
You get weighed down by the day?
Your spine compresses.
When you sleep, when you're laying down for like eight
hours, the discs in your back expand slightly.
That is hilarious.
For like the first half hour of the day,
when I measure myself, I'm six feet,
but the rest of the day, I'm 5'11".
Yeah, Tim needs to add nerd to his profile.
I love it.
All right, I just found your comment to.
Renee, I put something in there, too,
because you didn't ask me about relocating.
OK, I'm sorry.
You know what, you guys?
Let's see.
OK.
Definitely video dating.
Yeah, hold on.
I hate texting.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Let's see.
You didn't overshare, David.
I will say this.
You guys are allowed to overshare as much as you want.
Oversharing in the co-ed group, not so good.
And David Henshaw is correct.
Dave, you're Dave.
99% of the time, when we feel like we're being talked about,
we're like, oh my gosh, everybody knows that's me.
99% of the time, people don't.
Oh, you sent me pictures?
Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
OK, I'm pasting your revelation.
There you go.
I love it.
This is so fun, y'all.
I do a lot of private coaching, too.
So I will tell you this, Kevin.
If you watch the online dating thing from last Thursday
night, I promise you, as you can tell by how much I just
gave Andy a hard time, I'm anti-texting
while you're getting to know somebody.
I am very big on as much video and face-to-face time
as possible.
Yeah, texting is so unemotional, unconnective.
Yeah, texting is for memes.
I feel like texting is for, I call it facts.
It's just the facts.
I'm on my way.
What did you say, pork chops or steak?
You know, it's like, I forgot to do this.
I'm running late.
That's what texting is for.
All right, Dave, what you got?
You got your hand up?
I just wanted to give Renee a quick shout out.
So if you follow what Renee says, it works.
I will tell you this.
I have followed what she says, and her advice
works 100% of the time.
And so if you knew that, this is just from guy to guy,
if you hire Renee as your coach, and she breaks and makes
a plan with you, you will get a girlfriend.
You will find a wife.
Come in, please.
Seriously, because her dating stuff,
I made changes to my profile.
It went from one match to 15 in a day.
I'm not kidding.
I just learned it to be true.
It's true, because when I spotlighted Dave,
and we did like a prep here, it was a hot mess express.
And when we spotlighted him, I tell you what,
it was like a whole new person.
She fixed it.
All right, so are you still open to the thing you offered?
And I'm going to re-watch the one.
I did not realize there was another one.
I should have just watched the one you just did,
but I watched the other one.
Well, you probably did the original one
I did like two or three years ago.
But she had me.
So basically, just so you guys know in phase three now,
which is where the co-ed crap is, once a month,
Jackie is going to do her love seat, which
is like a free for all of whatever
she's willing to talk about and you're willing to talk about.
Once a month, Bethany is going to do
like an advanced heart work topic
that she feels like is a common issue going on
with the people in the community.
And then once a month, I'm specific.
They're calling it online day.
meeting, I would say I'm gearing it towards helping you guys get on dates.
So whether that's in the wild or in person or online, it's really focused
on how to go from nothing to start having dates to choose from discovering
to getting you in a serious relationship.
So we kind of feel like, and we're going to keep doing that every single month.
So does the, does the app update when you change phases or like when I've
finished four, do I go to a different phase or
well, Chris, you tell me how the guys, I don't know exactly what the guys see.
So Chris, Christopher, since you just started seeing some of those quote
unquote phase two videos, were they always there or did they start popping up?
They were always there.
So I actually asked this question before you got here, because I was wondering.
Um, if you are like, if I'm missing, I'm in the wrong group for,
for a love story accelerator.
So I'll show you what my, my thing shows.
So I had the courses, so I had my, my heartwork courses.
They're a hundred percent.
I already had these two, but my love story accelerator is for sure the
female one, um, cause you're dating one-on-one in there or your online
dating in there is the woman's one.
So I went to the, you know, it's because, and Jackie's working on
refilming all of that stuff.
Because when we created phase two, men weren't doing it at all.
And so I think in her first two videos, she talks about the divine masculine
and feminine, which I went over two weeks ago with y'all.
Yeah.
Um, she, the two videos that she does, I think she's
specifically talking to only women.
I think by the time I filmed the online dating and the boundary video, I'm
pretty sure it was co-ed and it was a live class that got recorded.
Well, you were talking to just the women, but you referred to the men's one you
did and I'm like, I want, and so I found the men's one you did in the pad sessions,
like all these videos and I went back and watch that one.
So I was like, I'm like, where's this men's one?
I would love that one.
That was good.
So maybe offline you can show, or you guys can like message each other
and show Kevin how to find those.
But yes, it's in the past section.
I apologize about that.
So yes, but if you go to the replays, um, last Thursday's replay is definitely
co-ed, um, and I will say this.
And so what we're going to do next month, and I'll see who's willing to do that
with me, but since a lot of folks are going on speed dating, I'm going to let
people get in the hot seat with me.
And I'm going to do like, I'm going to literally put the timer on for like
three minutes and like ask them questions.
I would, you know, and see what, see how people do with those, those fun questions.
Okay.
I'm going to have to try to get a shift trade or something so I can participate.
Well, when you see it, so Christopher, when you see the online dating, you'll
know, and you see online dating, know it's me and know that I will, you know,
and I always take questions, but if I see guys ask questions or have a comment
because there's like always like over a hundred women on the call and there's
less than 10 of you men on the call, Dave will tell you, I always try to pull the
guys to the front, um, and let their questions get answered and make sure they
get, I think I was on one that I got called on, but then I had two weeks of,
uh, no, I, I, I got discouraged when I started going back and going back to the
chorus.
So it was really hard for me.
So today's the first day I've been back on something live for two weeks or three
weeks, but you can feel free to be in my wing woman.
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm Christopher.
I'm so invested in you guys, but like, I feel like you're my brother from another
mother.
So I feel like this kinship, maybe cause we grew up in the same area.
Um, which is why I thought of you for my, for, for one of my, my girls that I'm
coaching.
She really looks young though.
So I might be able to change your mind about her.
So anyway, I might offline, send you a picture of her and see what you think.
All right.
No machining and four willing for me to also.
Me too.
Oh, Kevin, I want to get in touch with you because there's a woman that's doing,
she's beautiful.
Um, and she just took a ministry position.
So she's moving up to Alaska.
So we definitely want to, I want it to like,
I wanted you to, I wanted Brian to come on real quick.
You know how big Alaska is?
Or willing.
I know that's probably like me saying the largest state.
You can put Texas inside of Alaska more than I know somebody in California.
I understand.
That's probably really lame, but she's closer than anybody else in our program.
Let's just say if she's by a road.
I can probably drive to where she is in a day.
She's by a road.
Yeah, if she's by a road, that's fine.
Well, there's a lot of places in Alaska
that you got to fly into or take a boat to.
Yeah.
Well, Brian is dying to go do like a two week
land and sea excursion to Alaska, so.
This is a Brian reveal.
I've never seen Brian.
He's a good looking man.
He did a good job.
You guys seen Brian?
Yes.
Yeah, I haven't seen him.
It'll make him blush.
You see me, Brian?
When I started this, I actually was
talking about just doing Renee's online dating 101 from 2024,
where she's talking about, I'm on these dating apps.
I don't know if this is where I'm
going to meet my husband.
Yeah, Facebook dating.
Yeah.
I do Facebook dating.
Well, and here's the funny thing.
You guys, we only met just over a year ago.
And this started because he was on vacation.
So we FaceTimed.
And like my rules say, he asked some good questions.
And what did I keep saying?
Lord have mercy.
No, what did you keep saying?
So she kept saying, that's a great question.
That would be perfect for when we have our video chat.
I got so tired of hearing it.
I was like, OK, we just got to have a talk now.
Hey, she practices what she preaches, OK?
She does.
Any other words of wisdom you want to tell them
while they're on this journey?
I have no idea.
Because, like, don't settle.
That's all I can say is don't settle.
You know what I mean?
Because you're going to get somebody
that's going to be like, oh, well,
they checked four out of the five boxes that I'm looking for.
You know, that'll be OK.
I can tolerate that.
No, don't settle.
I was single for six plus years.
Don't settle.
Well, and Brian's been divorced twice.
So the second time he got married,
he would definitely say he had kids.
And he would definitely say, raising the kids by myself
and the fear of not ever finding somebody
caused him to jump in and marry someone
that he shouldn't have married.
So part of the hard work is learning how to live with it.
So part of the hard work is learning
how to live on your own and to be by yourself, right?
Because you got to heal all of those things
before you can expect somebody else to be part of it.
Been doing that for 21 years.
Well, and since he did so much traveling to get to me,
one of the first books I made him read was The Heart Work.
So we can make sure that we were talking the same language
from the program.
So good.
Yeah, I know.
So he's real.
I know y'all, it's like a pinch me.
And I would say the same thing to you all.
Like, I am huge fans of yours.
You all have an amazing love story.
And I just, I feel like we, and I feel this,
like we need to better connect you
to some of the women in the community.
Because like on any given, even co-ed night,
maybe a hundred people come on,
but there's like probably 700 women in our database.
And so we're working really hard behind the scenes.
I don't know, Jackie's talking to some new AI guy about it
because we've got it.
You shouldn't even, in my opinion,
you all shouldn't even have to go online.
You should be able to go to our database
of heart healed women.
Because a lot of the things that you all describe
that you want in a woman,
there's probably a hundred women that would match that.
Some of it is a location issue, right?
For some of you, location's an issue.
And for some of them, a location is an issue.
But I'm so glad I asked you guys what you wanted
because here's what I heard consistently.
And it's something Jackie tries to say all of the time.
You guys want somebody, yes, a believer,
but you want somebody who's fun and adventurous
and who's going to get out there.
And Christopher, you kind of talked about the grandma thing.
Like too many times women get stuck in their maternal
and like the maternal and grandma side of things
that it makes them look like an old lady,
even if they don't look like an old lady.
And so like for some of y'all,
you're just not in that season of life.
And it's not that you can't love those kids.
It's just, it can't lead.
It can't lead.
Yeah, that would be my only issue
with going somewhere else is my grandkids.
Cause I've been around them.
I've been around them since they were born.
Six of them.
I get it.
It's important.
Well, I'm so impressed by all of you.
And I know you're at different seasons of your life.
Hunter, we were just talking about somebody for you today.
We're like, Christopher.
Cause a lot of times I feel like I need a miracle.
Which Christopher, there's three of us.
No, you, Christopher, big mouth, no, I'm kidding.
Well, hey, y'all, as y'all know, I'm about to be 58
and I got married for the first time at 57.
I'm pretty sure the AARP card came in the mail
right for my wedding, I'm just saying.
So, you know, nobody understand, I've never been engaged.
I've been close, you know, and in some ways
I could have been just as like older me, like pre Jackie,
I would have never dated a guy who's been married twice.
That was a deal breaker for me.
There was like, there's just no way, but you know what?
Plenty of widowed and single and married or divorced men
have said to me, well, how long's your longest relationship?
Well, I was kind of the runaway bride for a long time.
So he could have looked at me and been like,
well, she doesn't have staying power.
Like, and in fact, the day of my wedding,
his best man came to see me before the wedding.
And he's like, okay, why Brian?
Why now all of a sudden at 57,
do you think you could stay with somebody
the rest of your life?
Fair, fair question.
And so, you know, but God can do it.
All right, so Christopher, 39, Christopher,
I'm gonna let you close this out in prayer.
Oh, okay.
Oh, did you not expect that?
I just put you on.
I did not, I was ready for another piercing question
I wasn't ready for.
All right, Heavenly Father,
I just thank you for Renee and this group of men.
Having seen this program go from,
I don't know if I'm ever gonna get married through this
and then, you know, seeing her husband with her
has just been very encouraging for me.
And I just hope that all of these men
have a feeling of encouragement.
Father, I just ask that you use the Holy Spirit
to fill them with faith and hope
that we are believers that believe in hope.
And I don't want any man to walk away from this meeting
thinking there is no hope for them because there is.
I know that you want them to have a healed whole
and lovely woman to come in their life
and be with them and walk out their love story.
So I just ask to bless these men,
bless their dreams wherever they are in this program
or in their healing process.
I actually bless that and accelerate that
so that we can all come together
and trade our testimonies with our beautiful new brides.
In your precious name we pray, amen.