Well, welcome, everyone.
Those of you watching in replay and those of you on here live Monday, March 30th.
Wow.
Unbelievable.
That's what it is, 2026, Monday, Men's Heart Check-In.
Good to see you guys here.
Sorry, I haven't been around for several weeks, but it's just the way life goes.
Gets busy.
Actually, one week I was celebrating my daughter's birthday, so that was definitely certainly
worth it.
How's everybody doing?
One, two.
I think I'm seeing everybody right here.
Cool.
Doing good?
Doing good.
Just kind of fill me in, guys, what's been going on the last couple of weeks?
What's been going on with you?
What is new?
What is trending?
What is ... If you got something that you need help with, of course, we're here to help.
This is Men's Heart Check-In.
Don't have anybody new, I don't think, here.
I think everybody has been here before.
So let's start.
All right.
I'll head off, because people are asking anything.
So I wasn't here last week, because I was out on a date, and it was going amazing until
Trump came up.
Trump?
Trump.
Oh.
And then it was over.
It's amazing.
It's like flying a plane into a mountain.
It was like two hours of magical, and then done.
But it's really good, guys, just to get out there and get some reps.
It's the first time I haven't dated an avoidant, which is ... She's more anxious, which was
so much easier for me, like avoidants are a pain, because they're always running away.
And so I just say, guys, get out there, get some reps.
And I got better.
I experienced some things that I hadn't experienced before, so I just encourage you.
Get some reps.
I mean, and it's really ... Yeah, disagreements on political ... I knew it was ... And that
was another thing, is I knew it could be contentious, right?
And I had a chance to just let it go, and I was like, I'm going to man up, and we're
going to have this ... This is what's going to make ... I mean, that's something that
you have to discuss, right?
So don't kick the can down the street, just be a man, be straight up.
And I was like, hey ... And I came at it in a really, really gentle way, right, and a
kind way.
Yeah.
And I'm like ... And I didn't expect it to be a complete deal breaker.
But like, yeah, politics, man.
I mean, when politics over ... And I'm just speaking to everybody, right?
If politics are greater than Jesus, they're an idol.
Just saying.
Absolutely.
And we were like a 95% match, but that political 5% is what blew everything up.
And I tried to come back around, but there was just no getting past that.
But you guys, get out there, get the reps, get ... I learned what it was like to date
an anxious attachment.
And for all you wondering, so they're a little clingy, some would call them clingy, basically
like, hey, I'm still here, we're good, we're good.
You know, I mean, there's some people who are like, they're going to call you nine times
a day.
That's unhealthy.
But to be able to say, hey, you know, we're good, have a great day, it puts them at ease
so they can be calm, right?
Whereas the avoidance, when they get close, they run and you can't really connect with
them.
So at least anxious, you can connect with them.
Sometimes they want a little too much.
But you know, I'm glad I got the opportunity and got out on the apps and, you know, like
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, so.
Absolutely.
No.
Kudos to you, man.
Getting out there, doing it.
Good.
Getting the reps in.
Sorry that didn't work out.
I don't know why.
It's very tragic news in the world.
I'm telling you, well, I do know why, actually.
I mean, all of these issues, all of these areas, the strategy of the enemy, well, it's
been since day one, right, the beginning of this existence called life.
But even more so, it just seems like it's just random.
up, the strategy of the enemy is this division, just constant at odds at anything that's possible
called politics, life, issues, men and women, whatever it is, different sides of the country,
I mean, that's whatever it can be.
And it's just really sad, I've not been paying attention to a lot of things politically lately
at all.
I mean, I kind of know what's going on in the world, but I don't know in detail.
And I just gave up kind of a long time ago, just kind of fighting any of those battles.
And it wasn't just because I was trying to be, you know, noble of any sort, but I just
really was trying to focus in on the things that like, actually, not matter like from
like, oh, an idealistic standpoint, but actually matter to my life, like, like things started
getting real for me.
And I was just like, you know what, I can't just constantly be distracted, it's really
more of a distraction thing, distracting me from my goals, distracting me from the things
I wanted to accomplish.
And I just came to the point where I just realized that I'm just, I'm just not going
to get the things done that I want to get done today, this week, this month, this year,
or in my life, if I don't just concentrate.
So it's really just, it was a matter of focus.
And so that's kind of what I've been doing lately.
And I hope you all kind of have been feeling that I think everybody, I don't know if it
raise your hand or give me some sort of indication of that's kind of like what you've been feeling
like, like, it's just time to like focus instead of just being like scattered all over the
place with everything that comes at you with everything that's trying to grab your attention.
It's just for me, it's just about focus.
I'm just trying to focus on some things and get some get some momentum.
And I started out this month and I feel terrible about it.
Some of you were here on that call, I did the first Monday of this month of March, and
I called it March momentum.
And there was this like, I laid out this plan, I was going to I had this plan, I hadn't fully
laid it out.
And I was going to go through, we're going to go through March, and we were going to
build momentum.
And I really, and I came in the next week, and I wasn't able to be there.
And then I was like, came into the following week, and I wasn't able to be there.
And then so on.
And then three weeks went by.
And I'm like, I wasn't able to be I missed all of March, being able to share this March
momentum.
So we're going to do men's momentum, since March is now here at the end.
And so it's going to be a men's momentum thing.
But I'll share, I won't, I probably won't get into that today.
I'll probably just have it presented out in a way that, you know, it's really kind of
be going to be helpful.
But I think it's going to be really good.
And I really want to go through it, because I think we'd all benefit from it.
So we'll do that at some point.
But I'm not going to try to dive into that, try to regain that, we'll just do some momentum
stuff here, pretty soon.
But I just want to catch up with you guys tonight, for sure.
Who else has got something that you're been dealing with?
What are you focusing on?
Lots happened with me the last couple of weeks.
And I'll share on that.
But I got one.
Somebody else an opportunity.
Go ahead, Hunter.
Well, I finally did I started since I'm 37.
I still didn't question if I amount to anything or make the most of my life.
So I figured in 2026 is me getting a sense that my days of being single could be numbered.
And I think I prayed and I did something, something miraculous happened.
I no longer I have not looked at a single point, any porn or any nude image since February
28.
And I may have seen an image of a cleavage or figure but but like on Instagram, but you
know what, the hardcore stuff has been dying out.
It's only in my memory.
And it, it seems to be dying apart.
And the more it comes to the fruit, fulfilling the fruits of the spirit, the the and start
praying more and the more it starts to lose its appeal.
It's awesome.
It's powerful, man.
You because I want I'm also a guy who wants to grow like because the way sex God intended
was for marriage, it's you build a connection, you build intimacy, a companionship, you build
intimacy and a commitment and you and you have it in reality to me, it's just bypassing
all four of those that just have the instant gratification.
Yeah, you know, that's the thing, you bring up a good point, Hunter, because it's kind
of like when I was talking about focus, you know, when you finally make up your mind.
Those of you that are like, super like disciplined kind of dudes, like you get this.
I'm not the disciplined kind of dude, there's, you know, you know, those guys, right?
You know, those guys like
This guy's so disciplined. He can just do
Whatever he puts his mind to do, you know, and of course, that's sort of an exaggeration because
You know, there's probably some undisciplined in another area of that dude's life
But anyway, you look at him and you're like, oh I can tell that guy's like super disciplined, dude
and
And then he makes you feel bad because you're just not as disciplined and whatever. So I mean, I'm kind of that guy
I'm kind of like, you know, I look at people and I'm like, I wish I was that you know
Wish I had that kind of level of discipline, but it is true. It's like when you
finally get to the end of like I
Don't want
To do the same thing and get the same results that I'm having anymore
and so I'm just at the end of that and so it's it's time to just really focus and
Get some get some traction and when you start to sort of laser in like that and you say I'm just I'm just I'm tired
of this
Whether it's porn or whether it's your health and fitness or whether it's your relationships or whether it's just you know
Like just succeeding in life, you know trying to accomplish one thing
It's all the same. It's about like just
wanting the focus and
I
Think more than anything. I don't know. This is this is kind of what I've come up with because
It's very difficult
to like
Will it to happen?
It's very difficult to white-knuckle it to happen
It's very difficult to try to just say I'm gonna do this. I've just come hell or high water
I determined to do that determination is good, but it just doesn't get you very far down that road. It really doesn't
The I think the thing that mainly gets you down that road is if you can get a hold of
the desire for you know, what
Achieving the outcome
What that will mean to your life like how how your life will be different?
Like my life will be different if I weighed, you know
20 less pounds
25 less pounds. I
Would fit into clothing that I would feel comfortable in I would look good. I would feel good. I
Would feel confident like that's a worthy goal
It seems superficial and it seems like whatever but it is true. Like what level of confidence then?
Does that give you and then with that confidence what other things change in your life?
Do you walk into a room differently, you know
when you when you walk because of the confidence you have you walk into a room differently and
All of a sudden you're noticed
by
You know someone a
lady a girl a
woman and like it's attraction or you walk into a room or walk into
Something in your life and it creates at a level of favor that you needed that you've always wanted
But it created a favor because someone just saw you differently
Maybe your boss saw you differently or maybe someone that has an opportunity
That they're connected to an opportunity that they know who you are, but they didn't see you like that. I
Mean just all kinds of different things that can happen with just and you started with like I if I could just lose 20 pounds
And look good in you know
My clothes or look good in this outfit or whatever
But then the confidence came and then you walked into the room and then the relationship happened and then the introduction
Or whatever happened like it begins to snowball
And I think that's the biggest thing
I shared this before and I
It's kind of it's akin to this very thing talking about motivation
I've heard this before like guys like tony robbins like says this in terms of like what motivates you
pain or pleasure
and pleasure
the pleasure of the outcome of what the change brings is
Way more of a
Momentum maker and a change maker in your life than the pain than the pain of it
Like
The pain yeah, they can say that but the pain of it is
Like
The pain yeah, they can say well i'm tired and i'm just tired of this
Right that is pain
but then
When you begin to start seeing
What's on the other side of the pain the pleasure of whatever it is that becomes the next motivator
And so I would if I were you if I were like fast tracking this
And you're like look I just want to I just want to get to the thing the fast track is
is get through the pain as fast as you can to get to the moment of like, where's the
pleasure in achieving this result?
Where's the pleasure in being in relationship?
And then your work and your effort and your drive begins to be driven towards that instead
of always coming up against, you know, trying to like try, try harder, try harder, try harder.
It becomes, man, if I just did this, I would have so much more peace.
I would have so much more enjoyment with this person.
I would have so much more benefits.
I wouldn't, I would just, I would avoid all of the trouble in my life and that pleasure
of just knowing that I don't have to deal with that trouble anymore because I'm the
one creating the trouble.
Your lack of empathy, your lack of action, your lack of initiation, your whatever is
creating the problem in your life.
And when you remove that and stop creating the problem and realize that everything that
you want is attached to the pleasure and the benefit of not behaving that way, that becomes
a way better motivator than you just saying, Hey, stop doing bad stuff.
That's kind of like why our religion doesn't work.
It's like, just stop sinning.
Like that's sin pointing out the sin.
It's like, okay, that's helpful like one time, but we all know it's sin.
So it's just like to keep harping on this, the fact that it's sin or that it's bad or
that it's not good or it's not healthy or it's like, you know, you could be better.
That doesn't get you down the road like it would to go, man, if I just didn't give into
that temptation, how much better could my life be?
You see the difference in terms of like the motivation and that's, I've been on that road
for quite a while and I actually guys, I actually did, I've started to lose some weight.
I've got some, got some discipline.
I did get on a GLP one that's helping me.
And I just decided as like, I'm doing it.
And um, some people are like, that's cheating.
Other people are like, no, that's the best thing you can do.
And I'm like, bro, I'm getting results and it's changing.
It's in, it's assisting me helping my mentality get beyond.
And I feel like, I feel like I've been only a bun on it for two weeks, but I, in January,
I was 218 pounds and I had begun doing better choices and then got on GLP like three weeks
ago and I'm down to 203 and if I break 200 pounds, that's going to be the first time
in 25 years that I've been under 200 pounds.
And for a guy like me, I'm not a tall guy.
I'm five, eight.
If that I'm five, eight, I mean, I'm five, nine, I'm two 15 or 16.
Yeah.
And it's just who makes the GOP one.
Oh, I mean, there's all kinds, there's, there's, it's, it's a whole thing.
It's um, that's not a brand.
It's just, uh, tears appetite is the one I'm, I'm on.
I can't even begin to tell you, you'll have to research it and get somebody who's all
about it.
Yeah.
No, I just, um, I, I don't do the research.
My wife knows all the stuff, all the research and she just tells me, see, that's, that's
the one thing about like, bro, if you want an AI assistant, you know, that's what wives
are for.
Wives are like, do all that research for you.
They do all that stuff.
She just tells me what to do and I'm like, okay, I'll just do it.
I'm joking by the way, but I mean, it is kind of like that sense.
It's kind of like, this is amazing.
Like, you know, I don't have to do any research.
She just tells me and she just knows all about it and everything.
That is one of the benefits of definitely being in relationship with a good woman.
The other side of that coin is that she will harp you and she will bug you.
And I'm just kidding.
No you're not.
I've been having some results, you know, and you all know that I've been battling this
for a long time in terms of just like wanting to, you know, get this area of my life under
control because.
Because I was just so unhealthy,
although my heart rate was up,
I did get on some blood pressure medicine.
I've decreased my blood pressure.
That's a huge thing.
So there's several things that just kind of like came on
and I just decided, I'm just done.
I'm done feeling bad.
I'm done feeling, and I'm enjoying the benefits.
And now that has become my motivation
rather than trying to like lose the pounds
or trying to get disciplined or trying to whatever.
I want to walk, I want to work out.
I have a desire, like I've got the forward momentum.
So anyway, I'm just excited about it.
It's cool, it's good.
And the thing about it is, is I feel like even now
that I could even, I guess the normal thing
is that you're supposed to do it,
you would dose weekly if you're like, if you're on it.
But then there's also this kind of like, okay,
this idea like where you're not gonna live on GLP-1s.
I mean, that probably is not a good idea,
but you probably can get to the point
where you've accomplished the goal
and then you can go on like a maintenance.
You can like a micro dose.
You can do some of that like once a month,
every other week, whatever it is,
slow doses to where it just kind of helps and stuff.
And I feel like I could do that almost sooner
than what I had originally intended,
like at the end of this month.
So I got another couple of weeks,
get the goal and then just kind of like micro dose
and then really have the appetite back
and be mentally and psychologically empowered
to still make good choices.
And I'm excited about that.
So, and that's just kind of like my example,
what's been going on with me,
but the principle and the idea is still the same.
It's just like being motivated by the excitement
of what is happening rather than trying to like,
not do bad things, quit eating donuts, quit eating.
Like, why are you doing this?
Beating myself up.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Anyway, I want to give a chance for you guys
to get some feedback.
That's all for today.
I'm kind of in a in-between place.
I'm like the company I've worked for
for the last 21 years on and off sold out last winter
and I'm part of a teamsters union
and it don't look like they're going to have any work
until this summer.
Not very much up and offering in my area.
So I'm kind of looking on transitioning.
I've been doing research on going back into hot shoddy,
you know, pick up 40 foot trailer, but it wouldn't be here.
So it's moved.
So there's a lot of big decisions on.
I broke my procrastination day
and called three or four different companies
and talked to them.
But still, I don't know if it's dread
or if it's just, I had excitement about it at first,
but now I just, now I don't know.
Now I feel kind of blah about it.
So I'm not sure, you know, which way to go here.
You know, waiting for something to come up or what?
What's the ultimate thing that you want?
Like, not in this decision,
not like what do you want in this decision,
but like, what do you want overall?
Well, I need to get my income up to take care of my bills
and straighten out some affairs and stuff.
So you have an income goal?
Yeah, of about 2,500 a week,
which hotshotting provides that.
Provides that, the union provides that
if I have a 10 or 12 hour a day job, five days a week,
you know, well, maybe not quite that much, but pretty close.
But that'd give me some more freedom,
but it also gave me constraint
because I'd probably be gone and on the road a lot,
you know, and gone ain't too much for me.
All my kids are grown and I'm single.
So, you know, it might be counterproductive
towards relationship though.
I also, you know, I also have,
I'd like for something to come available
in Alaska up towards Fairbanks,
because I have 20 acres up there
and a house that I want to rebuild,
or a cabin that I built when I was 22 or 23 years old.
But I don't know, there's a lot of stuff.
Where I'm staying now, I eventually have to move
everything out of there, my travel trailer, my semi-trailer.
or which I don't have no way to move it.
I don't have no place to put it right now
because you can't drive up to my homestead.
It's three and a half miles off the road, so.
Yeah, that's hardcore.
Oh yeah, no running water, no electricity.
There's a possibility of electricity
probably for 10 or $20,000.
You know, to put in a couple more poles or whatnot,
but I don't, I'm not that,
not worried about the electricity part.
That's what generators and solar panels are for, you know?
So, some people are into that type of stuff
and some people aren't.
Yeah, I can go either way.
Okay.
That's kind of like my retirement property.
If I meet somebody that kind of wants to live that way,
I'm up for it.
If they don't, you know, I might just build,
fix my place up and build a place on it.
And keep it for retirement to sell, you know?
Yeah.
To sell off.
But I mean, I've had it for 35, 40 years, so.
Well, I just agree with you that you have,
I agree with you that in prayer and faith,
that you're going to have a moment of favor
and something's going to break in that
because, you know, you have an income goal
and you have a couple of different ways to do it.
And I understand like both sides of that, you know,
like the benefits and the non-benefits.
And so I just say that, you know,
you have this moment of clarity and favor
that shows you exactly what it is
that aligns you with what it is your goals are
and what it is you want to accomplish.
And I just pray that you'll have favor
that you'll have some clarity this week.
Somehow, some way.
Amen.
Yeah, and I mean, I have a kind of a health problem
that's held me back before,
but I think it's getting better and I get,
I get really severe headaches and migraines sometimes.
And it just wipes, you know, wipes all my energy out.
Yeah.
They seem to be getting better.
I beat my type two diabetes.
I got my A1C back down to 5.7.
So.
That's awesome.
Which is good.
Should be under 6.1 or whatever it is.
Is that the threshold?
I don't know.
Yeah, something for, I'm not even pre-diabetic anymore,
but I still have to really watch the sugars
that I put into my body, you know.
I don't use real sugar anymore.
I use mug fruit and stuff like that, but.
Awesome.
Anyway.
I'm telling you, man, thanks for sharing.
I appreciate that.
Who else has got something?
What else is going on?
Anybody, everybody?
I'll speak.
Go ahead, Chris.
Okay.
So I'm looking for some feedback here.
And of course I'm leaning on the Lord about this,
but I'm back in finishing up now the hard work,
the first part.
And one of the things that's been revealed to me,
and I kind of casually mentioned this to people, you know,
in passing and never really thought much about it,
but it was definitely pointed out to me.
So I'm a words of affirmation person.
So I just like melt, you know, with kind words.
And my father is a acts of service person.
My father, to my memory,
has never told me that he loved me.
Yeah, and I came to the realization
that it's because he doesn't speak my language,
you know, probably 15 to 20 years ago.
But up until that time, I really didn't understand it.
I didn't feel loved by my father.
Yeah.
So this is something I'm digging in pretty hard with,
with the Lord and also with my close circle.
But I wanted to throw it out there and just ask,
you know, what you guys think about that?
If anybody else has experienced that
or has any thoughts on what impact
that might have on somebody?
Who's got a thought on that?
So, yeah, being a words of affirmation guy
and being told that you're a worthless piece of crap
is kind of my story.
And I guess what works for me
is that my earthly father couldn't do things that were,
he's a broken dude, really broken dude, right?
But my heavenly father, I mean, he loves me immensely.
And he really is super proud of me
and that he will never fail me.
You know, and so, and he sends people around me to encourage me and to love on me and,
and he can make up for everything that you didn't get.
That's the thing is like you.
It's different.
Right.
So my stepdad, finally, you know, like, I don't know.
So my stepdad one one day did say that he loved me.
Right.
And I but it was such, you know, you think your whole life that if you just got that
it would make it right better, right?
It didn't mean a thing.
Right.
Like, you know, after so many years, so, so I think that's a trap that you get into.
If I just heard him say it, I heard him say it.
And it didn't mean anything to me.
I mean, because, you know, 30 years of actions versus one word doesn't really, really, really,
really play.
But you're the father in heaven loves you immensely.
And Jesus loves you immensely.
And that he is super proud of you.
And knowing that, that my heavenly father trumps my earthly father, and knowing my identity
in him and getting identity doing a bunch of identity work.
It makes it better.
It doesn't make it go away.
Right.
I like to tell you that there's this magic pill and you freaking silver bullet and you
shoot that thing and it's dead.
Right.
But, but, you know, there's times where I'm like, you know, but guess what?
I became a great dad, even though I didn't have one.
Right.
So like you, you can become the very thing that you never got in God's grace.
Right.
And so I just encourage you, surround you with people who, who are uplifting and who
speak your love language or let your, you know, you guys always hear me harping on your
inner circle.
Like everybody needs an inner circle, right?
Like you guys, if you don't have an inner circle, you got to get one and ask Jesus.
But like, tell your inner circle, Hey, you know what, I'm really lacking in this department
and I could really use help.
People in my inner circle know that I am a touch, touch, touch is my primary words
of affirmation.
It's my second.
So like most of them aren't huggers, but they give me a hug because they know I need it.
Right.
So like your circle, they can, they can make up for what you didn't get.
So just, just my like 10 cents.
Yeah.
So, um, my father, I mean, he does express love, but just in a different way, like I'm
going down for Easter to Florida for Easter.
And, um, you know, you walk into this house, I mean, you're not allowed to do anything
for yourself.
I mean, he expresses it through acts of service and, um, it was just, it just, I feel like
it impacted me and it was pointed out to me that I needed to, you know, figure this out
and, um, kind of overcome it.
Oh, it's like you're working good on it.
You have a comment.
I don't know if your hand's raised for, oh, you're still muted, bro.
Thank you.
Um, yeah, it was, it was about something else.
Um, but I appreciate you sharing Chris and I am praying for you to hear, um, father God's
voice about, about his love for you.
And I'm so sorry that that was your experience.
Thank you.
What do you got Jeremy?
Um, so I mean, it's something that, uh, maybe a little bit going back to one of the things
that, um, that was brought up before, and then some of the stuff that you shared, uh,
one of the things that I've noticed, um, that, that I've been kind of walking through since
last September is, you know, I know I've noticed something about me with, with self-awareness
that, you know, whenever it comes to me trying to make a change, if I try to do too many
things at one time, then it typically ends in a result of, um, it lasting for a very
short period of time and it not being something that sticks.
And so, you know, there was the first thing that I did last September is I decided, you
know what?
I'm going to stop playing.
And as I know, it sounds silly, but playing games on my phone, like it's something that
I just noticed, you know, consumed, you know, a lot of time, especially, you know, whenever
I was hanging out with my wife and, and so, you know, that was kind of step one.
And then, you know, step two, you know, a couple of months later was, okay, I'm going
to, um, you know, move in a direction to where I'm going to stop, for example, watching shorts
or whatever, because you can literally just sit there and it's just mindless entertainment
that does absolutely nothing from a productivity standpoint, you know?
And then the, the next thing was, you know, going to the doctor, my wife's nurse practitioner
started seeing her and I started doing testosterone therapy.
And then, um, and mind you throughout this entire time, obviously each step is actually
sticking rather than trying to do everything all at once.
And then it just imploding.
And so then, you know, once I started going to the doctor that I started.
doing, you know, I found out at Hashimoto's. And so, you know,
I'm taking like a, like a hormone replacement that's
natural, right, for hypothyroidism, or, you know,
Hashimoto's. And so then I started taking testosterone, and
that was probably about six weeks. And then after that, and
my testosterone levels are coming up, you know, then now
I'm on the Rita Trita, which is a GLP three. And, you know, like
my focus is insane. Now, it's just freaking phenomenal. I
can't focus on like, yesterday, I just freaking went at it and
started cleaning stuff. And I've only been on it for a week, and
I've lost like three pounds. But the but I really love the fact
that I'm like, focused and zoned in. And, and, you know, just
being able to focus on work or specific tasks or whatever, and
having that initiative to that drive to be able to not be lazy
and get up and do things and things of that nature. And it's
just like, you know, it's almost like once you start
feeling that snowball effect, and you're doing one thing at a
time, and then finally, like it just starts accumulating and
picking up. And I feel like I personally, you know, within my
life have have started receiving breakthrough in those areas.
And, you know, once I jump up to the two milligram, you know, in
a week or two weeks, I guess it is, then I'm going to start my
my workout routine with the tunnel that I have at home. So
it's like, I've noticed by like, for me personally, by using that
method, it's, it's definitely not felt overwhelming, like I
have to do all these things all at once. And then it just like
kind of implodes. But by gradually kind of walking
through that, it for me, it's it's, it's been rather a relief
and almost kind of a breakthrough and kind of a
different mentality or approach that I've taken in the past.
Yeah, that's powerful. That's really good. Yeah, no, the the
the overwhelm, I think is huge. I think it's for men, especially.
If I could say it's stereo, if I could be stereotypical, like for
a minute, you know, women are overwhelmed by their situation of
having to man up in their lives, especially single women. Because
it's like, if they're not married, if they're not in
relationship, they have to do everything. And they're just
like, I don't want to do all this stuff. And then men in
their own way are overwhelmed by all the things that are, quote,
necessary. And that's hard to discern these days, because
there's just so much vying for your attention. You talk about
doom scrolling, you're talking about just, you know,
entertainment, alone, period. Let alone actual things that
really matter, you know, that are vying for your attention,
whether it's your family, or whether it's your job, or
whether it's the backyard, or whether it's, you know, that
just, it doesn't, it's just constant. And again, it is the
day and age we live in, for sure. You know, it's like,
there's just an onslaught of the time period that we live in,
there's just too much. This is one thing we're finding with
regard to like relationships, finding a person, finding it,
there's too many choices. It's one of the core things that we
deal with all the time, in terms of like, trying to find a mate.
You know, and from the female standpoint, and the male
standpoint, same problem, but going about it two different
ways, because of how we're how each of us are wired and
motivated. You know, if, if it's, if it's the guy's thing,
if it's like, Oh, yeah, no, she's really pretty. But then
you're thinking in the back of your mind, could I find a
prettier one? I mean, I hate to put it at that level. But that's
just basically what men are doing right now. You know, I
want to believe that men are like, putting more depth and
character into their relationship search. But that's
primary. That's like, number one, oh, she's pretty. But
there's probably someone else prettier. And I want this and
I'm gonna have standards and I want to hold out for that. Well,
problem is, is that you hold out for that too long, and you'll
never get in relationship and you hold out for the rest of
your life. And then that's basically what you're doing is
you're just holding out, holding out, holding out for better and
better and better. Why? Because you think you have too many
choices. And the reality is you don't. It's just the bottom line
is just don't. You should limit your choices.
actually make better decisions with limited choices than you do with all the choices.
But because we live in this world that we live in, we are literally just disciplined or discipled,
if you will, in a destructive way to try to uncover all of the choices that we have.
I don't like this TV show. I don't like this game. I don't like this, you know,
like I could play this other video game, but this other game, you talk to someone like,
man, this is my favorite thing, whatever. And then, you know, you're, you're, you're best due
to be like, yeah, well, I have like 12 other choices. You know, you're going to get in an
argument because like, who has the better, like, whatever it's like, bro, it's, it's,
it doesn't matter. Like focus is the thing. And so as we begin to really just peel all that back,
you know, um, and really get to the heart of, of the, of what it is that we're after.
What's, what's germane to our life and get that level of focus. You can get the momentum,
you know? And, um, I mean, kudos on you, man, Jeremy for, for going to doing that. But over
doing that, but over the overwhelm is real. And I want to, I wanted to say that because
I want everybody to know that's like those of you that are feeling the overwhelm. Um,
it's, it's a real thing, but the way to combat it is to really just do whatever you can to try to
get focus one thing at a time. If that's what gets you focused, focusing in on a goal and
achieving this one thing. And it could be just as small as dad gunner. I'm just, I'm going to clean
this house. I'm going to get this thing under control. Thomas, I know you've been working on
a lot of that kind of stuff where it's kind of like, I'm just finally going to do this for the
first time. And like, I'm just going to get this under control, you know? And I don't know the
revelation you've had in that process with you in terms of just like how that's meant to you or
other things in your life. But I mean, it's a real thing. Yeah. Would you like me to share about that
before Abram goes? Yes. Yeah. So, uh, very grateful. Um, thanks in part, you know, to all of
you, um, uh, on step nine of 10 on the getting things done workbook, my living space is clean
for the first time in my adult life and has been now for two and a half months. Um, very grateful
for that and getting all of my actions on a next action list and having a accurate calendar for the
first time in my life has been, uh, wonderful and horrible because it, my, my next actions list is
getting longer instead of shorter. And my emails to respond to list is getting longer instead of
shorter, which is showing me that, um, uh, in my family, we didn't make choices growing up.
Um, one parent, because they just sat there and didn't do anything. And the other one,
because it was perpetual crisis mode and agreed to do everything. And I inherited
a little bit of both of those things, like sit there and tell there's a crisis.
So, so now, um, I've been cutting things out of my schedule ruthlessly.
And that is awesome. It is awesome. Ruthless, like the word ruthless right there. Yes.
Yeah. And, uh, and however, still so realizing how much I overestimated,
overestimated my capacity and, and now the more I'm cutting out, the more,
if there's still like a bump in the road, like this week, one of my employees really blew it.
And, um, I went, that wound up totally derailing my entire system because I've lived just redlining
it so much. So learning how to live, like, how do you make intentional decisions about how much
time do you spend on things? And then creating that, like you're saying, I want my email inbox
to be at zero, you know? So then as I set timers to be like, okay, now I'm going to do this.
Like, I realized it takes me 45 minutes to take care of one email sometimes,
which is not sustainable. So learning how to do things. And it's had big ramifications on
my dating life because I've realized I need to make choices about women as well. And, um, uh,
it's reduced my screen time because I realized, wow, if I only have this amount of time and energy,
you know, if you believe that you have unlimited time, it makes a lot of sense to watch TV.
If you believe you have a limited amount and you can either live your own life or watch like some
other character live their life, then, then the question, hopefully.
for me is becoming, is does it contribute to my own life
and my own story to be watching this other person's story?
So it's messy and gross and horrible
and I've been going on more dates and they're pretty bad.
And you know, that's okay.
So things are going in the right direction.
I did a Sabbath walk, but I goofed off
for the first time since high school this last Thursday.
And have any of you ever done that practice?
You set your timer for an hour in a park or in a garden
and then you just let yourself,
whatever your attention is drawn to,
you just let yourself be drawn to it.
If you feel like walking, you walk.
If you feel like looking at a flower, you look at a flower.
If you feel like sitting down, you sit down
and just kind of let yourself
just be yourself for like 30 minutes.
And that was really crazy.
And I've started wanting to do that more in my regular life.
So I'm really curious, really curious.
So, I mean, so you mentioned several things.
Ruthless, I love the word.
I love the word.
If you could learn guys to be ruthless
about eliminating stuff that is distracting in your life,
man, it's incredible.
I think that's awesome.
The other concept that you mentioned
was the fact that like,
I realized that I could either live my life
or I could live somebody else's life.
I could watch somebody else's character
and I could live life in that character.
Powerful, because in this day and age,
with all the things that you could immerse yourself in,
I think so many people do that, men especially.
They live vicariously through someone or something else.
And bro, live your life.
Live your fricking life.
Don't live somebody else's life.
Live your life.
And the other thing in terms of the exercise
you're talking about,
that to me goes back to sort of getting in touch with like,
I feel like this has to do with like what you're saying
about your family upbringing.
Like not making decisions.
And because in that, in not making decisions,
it's, some people would be like,
oh, that's freeing.
I don't have to make decisions.
No, no, no, it's not freeing.
It's actually prison.
It's actually a holding you back.
And it's not allowing you to live authentically you.
And so the exercise, as esoteric as it might seem,
just to go to the park and I was just like, be free.
No, actually what it is,
it is you allowing yourself to be you
and you allowing yourself to be driven by you,
what's coming out of inside of you
and identifying and connecting with you
and what is on the inside of you.
Instead of being directed by everything else
that's telling you to do this, don't do that.
I need you here.
I need you there.
And so it's like being in demand, in demand,
in demand all the time.
And like, you may not have a stressful job.
Like you may be having one of those jobs.
It's like, oh, my job's really not that big a deal.
I'm not, I don't have a lot of responsibilities in my job.
So my job isn't that demanding.
Yeah, but the world you live in
is demanding every second of your time.
And it is a real thing.
And so like those three things that you mentioned, Thomas,
super powerful.
I mean, it's just incredible.
I love that.
I love that for you.
And I love that, that, you know,
we're kind of illuminating this.
I don't, I think, I think the result of this call
is everybody on this call,
as respective to your unique situation,
you're seeing that regardless of what you know
or you perceive about everybody else
that you're looking at on this call,
you're realizing that you're not the only one
dealing with all the shit you're dealing with.
You're not the only one.
You're not the only one who is challenged in their focus.
You're not the only one who feels behind.
You're not the only one who feels like
you're living somebody else's life.
You're not the only one out here
trying to make this thing work.
Everybody else is trying to do the same thing.
And there's a lot of other people
that are good, well-meaning people
that are changing their life.
They're making a difference.
They're getting some headway.
And that's kind of like what we're,
I'm trying to celebrate that tonight.
Abram, go ahead, what you got for us.
Can you guys hear me?
Kind of low, but yeah, I can hear you.
Can you guys hear me?
That's a little better.
I just want to say grats to Thomas, Jeremy, and Dave
on your guys' personal stuff, man, that's awesome.
Chris, to your point, so I'm an Italian-German guy,
and I'm only a couple generations from the old country,
and none of my family growing up said, I love you.
And my mom tells a story of her grandma
who never spoke English, this old Italian lady,
just mean, called her a slag ass,
like a witch in Italian, just a mean lady, anyways.
So I kind of feel you, dude.
But what I've been doing, so this is what I did
to get my dad, all right?
I'd be like, all right, on the phone?
Okay, ciao, okay, all right, love you.
And then he started saying I love you back a couple,
first he didn't say it.
And so your pop's still around,
you're probably like my dad's age.
My dad's like 70, you could be my dad.
So anyways, you could always start now.
And if he's an act of service guy,
obviously he loves you,
because he's cooking all the food,
and he loves you and all that.
So maybe you're not hearing it through your ears,
but actions are powerful, so he probably loves you.
And then unfortunately, like Mike here,
you get a mean guy, and so it's unfortunate.
So unfortunate that I haven't had mean people,
like my dad's not a mean guy,
but he's just kind of a quiet, to himself guy
that has a cigar in his mouth all day long,
like Clint Eastwood.
But I know he loves me, and I make him say I love you,
just to soften him up.
He's older now, so he's getting better at that.
And what's funny is a lot of the women in my life
have said I love you, but the men really don't.
So I always make sure to tell my brothers I love them,
and they say it back, and tell my pop, and all that.
So I feel you, bud.
I feel you, you're not the only one.
I think there's a lot of cultures,
they're just, you know, they live harder lives,
they're poor, you know?
It's interesting, my dad's 100% Dutch boy,
so he's right there beside the Germans.
But I do that, one of your suggestions, Abram, thank you.
You got it, bud.
I do tell him, I do, you know, I do speak that to him.
You know, and I have kind of beaten around the bush
and talked to him a little bit about it,
but you know, I'm 62, he's 82.
So he's kind of, you know,
much more set in the ways than most of us.
Yeah, you know, I have two dads,
stepdad and a bio-dad.
I now live near my bio-dad
for the first time in the last four years.
I live near my bio-dad for the first time ever in my life.
I've never lived near or with my bio-dad.
I've always just kind of like one of those visiting things.
And so he was absent my entire life.
And, but he doesn't, he doesn't,
I mean, he knows that,
but he doesn't understand that effect that it's had
on my life.
And so I've had to sort of like,
I brought him closer to me because I really, honestly,
just didn't want him to fall over one day
and die years ago.
And me have to just clean up all of his stuff.
Cause I didn't know where any of his stuff was.
He had two houses and I just didn't want it
to be such a chore.
And I wanted him involved in that process to consolidate.
And then I felt a righteous compassion to say,
you know, it's good.
It's appropriate for my dad to be around family
for his last years of his life.
And then he acquiesced when I made that thing,
but he's the kind of dude though,
he's not super emotional and he's not relational at all.
I mean, he relates, but dude just talks.
I mean, if you've ever heard somebody just talk
and then they just talk and they talk some more
and they don't stop talking and they talk about
what they're interested in and they talk about themselves
all the time.
My dad is a, you know, he's a charming man,
but at the same time, that's all he talks about.
And I say, hey dad, you know, like ask him a question
to try to engage him.
And I say, you know, what was, you know,
what would be this, you know, what'd be meaningful to you?
Or like, I'm trying to connect with him, you know?
He's like, yeah.
And he would start off for like two seconds
and then he goes, veers off into some military story.
And I'm like, every time, it's just like talking about,
well, you know, that reminds me of this one guy
who's over in the thing and I'm like,
I love stories, but I don't love the relationship
to be all stories.
and I don't love the relationship to be all just science and the weather and the how the
building was built and you're like my dad's the kind of guy you ask him what time it is
he tells you how a watch is built that's that that's that dude and I love my dad for that
he's unique for that but it's it's really hard on the relationship and um but I've had to deal
with that and he is you know he's a guy that says well I love you type thing he will say that
and I know that he loves me but at the same time you know it's just hard to get him to
well first of all it's hard to get him to come into the 21st century that's a whole challenge
in and of itself and uh and we go back and forth and like dad you just hit the button on the phone
to answer it that's all you got to do I don't understand why you're gonna well I can't I can't
operate this thing I just need a thing and a lot of the stupid I need a better phone I said dad
you have a 700 phone like I got you the greatest phone that you can imagine and it's like yeah but
all the other people and the other thing because he lives in like an old folks not a not a not a
care center but I mean he lives in a retirement area so he's always constantly comparing himself
with those other people but the relational part of it is difficult and um I get it you just have
to relate to them and so I tried my dad I'm like dad you got to tell me you love me and I just
tried him I'm like you know I just tell him straight up I said tell me you love me tell me
you're proud of me I just tell him and he goes oh yeah I'm proud of you know you're doing good and
every once what he acquiesces so I mean even even if it's just that maybe you just tell him like
look dad just tried him you don't got to be serious about it but just trying to get a reaction out of
him say bro just tell me something you know tell me something I want to hear and uh I don't know if
that helps but I think we all have stories that we could tell about our dads that that would be uh
challenging um all right anybody else got something tonight
can I have one or I did or you can have one tonight
I mean you got what do you got brother well I broke a vow I talked to my old youth pastor today
I told him about that I have a photo and a little memory from when I was 20 we're a local memorial
park where I where I I saw him when he was 27th birthday and I was about to turn 20 that year
I was climbing a tree and I was thinking looking at the it was his birthday and we got to I got
a look at the 23 on on that cake and uh they had 23 candles on the cake and I was like you
you know what I'm gonna make something and this is 20 this is why I have to make life crowned
life's too short short you gotta make you gotta start somewhere and then finally I want to build
up on that path build up on it not have regrets because of the games and I want to marry as young
as possible have an aging rat race to go out put myself out there a day in absent and get envied
because I'm losing the competition and I'm comparing myself to others I said you know what
God I surrendered to the Lord and I said you know what I need to grow the power of growing is to
break that vow so you know I'm gonna abandon the goal and give it to the Lord I keep tired of doing
it all by myself I've done a lot of great things outside of having a relationship even if I got
married I could find better happiness outside of it when I try to make it happen and besides I need
that I need to think about having a relationship with intimacy and connection and read the other
person try to do that let's basically try to grow mature and I think you know what it's never going
to happen if I try to go and make it happen and make an idol out of it so you know what I'm just
going to give it to the Lord if it's no you will so be it and watch that's what happens to usually
some people so I say you know what it may not happen but you know what I'm gonna live it to the
Lord and then see where you want me to do apart from that dude I I saw I so admire your persistence
towards the truth you know and everything you're always doing you're very open very honest I love
that I love the fact that you're so persistent to to to come back to like they like this is the
right way this is the truth this is the good this is you know these are things you're very very very
aware and very astute at that you're not lying to yourself you're not fooling yourself and thinking
that oh you know it's this it's that you're always coming back to the truth I think that's going to
pay off tremendously for all of your life and all of areas of your life for sure I value that that's
a high high high high value and but at the same time I just agree with you like as you give that
to the Lord Hunter I've always felt this way about you I've always felt there was someone very very
special that that you're going to be in relationship with so I
I have no doubt, bro, in my mind, I don't think anybody else in this community
that knows you well, has any doubt in your mind that you will definitely
achieve the relationship goal.
It just hasn't happened yet.
And while I'm with you, so why don't we just open and start praying to God?
Well, if you're not praying, you're not praying, you may not put God first.
It's, and of course you want discipline.
Some happiness go, I just did some jujitsu and I want to go do it because
I figured maybe it can help defend a wife from, from creeps or maybe not.
It's just, it's just a mental, the physical challenge.
It's so good.
I love it.
Thank you, Hunter.
Thank you for sharing, man.
God bless you in that.
Bye guys.
Right at the hour here.
Um, I just had one last thing, if you didn't mind.
Yeah, go ahead, Andy.
Yeah.
So, um, one thing that just happened to me that, um, you know, it's a little
bit distressing, but also freeing at the same time, um, you know, I was.
In the choir at my church, the, um, the Gregorian chant choir, I was in there
for three years and, um, I actually just got booted out because I wasn't
practicing enough, um, because I was, you know, too busy with a bunch of stuff.
So I think, um, um, as unfortunate as it is, um, I kind of am looking at
as like a release in my life.
Cause it's just like, um, you know, one less time commitment.
And also like when I go to church, I can focus on the mass instead of just
like focusing on the music.
So, um, I think it, I think it's sort of a blessing in disguise,
even though it's kind of sad.
Yeah.
I call those things divine rejections kind of like, uh, I didn't want it to be
over, but it kind of had to reject me in order to get this, something that
needed to happen in my life.
So it's good.
And if you can see the positive in it, I think that's even better.
So, yeah, sometimes good things.
There's necessary endings, if you will.
Yeah.
Love that.
Well, guys, I bless you.
I pray life and strength, health, wealth, and prosperity over you.
Thanks for all of you guys.
For those of you that shared those, you guys that didn't share it.
It's okay too.
I know you guys are gleaning some things.
Hopefully some things are popping off to you and, um, come back, uh, next
week, we'll do some momentum stuff next week and, um, see if we can, uh, just
continue pushing this on down the road.
Love you guys.
Have a great, great week.
And Oh, Hey, don't forget.
Jackie's have, there is a, there is a, uh, combined session this week.
I think it's, uh, I don't, I don't know if it's tomorrow or if it's Thursday.
I can't remember, but, um, there's, I think there's going to be an ask Jackie.
I think it's Thursday, I think.
Um, but anyway, Jackie was like, tell those guys to be there.
Tell those guys to get on there, have questions, get in there, do it.
And so, you know, the lady of the hour, she wants you to be there.
You better be there Thursday for this session for ask Jackie, all that kind of
stuff.
So just want to remind you about that as well.
I wish I could, but it's a holy Thursday night.
I'll be at mass mass of the Lord's supper.
Good.
Yep.
All right.
God bless guys.
Have a great, great week.
See you soon.