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Hello, welcome. Hello, hello. Hi, ladies. Welcome to Monday evening heartwork session.

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We are so excited to be doing another round of heartwork with you all. And I believe God

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has great things in store. I hope you had a wonderful Easter and that it's been a good

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weekend for you. If not, it's all right, because we're here to do heartwork and we can work

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through all of that kind of stuff, you know, because sometimes family gatherings, if you

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have family that you are with, sometimes that can bring up all kinds of stuff, right? Sometimes

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it can be heart healing that needs to happen because we don't have family around or all

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all of the things that kind of get triggered or surface around holiday times. Those are

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great things to do post about in the group. If you don't have time to get coached on that

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during our live session, because we do lean into, you know, our topics and things like

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that during these sessions. But I just want you all to know that we understand that that

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can be a dynamic that some of you might have faced or might be facing even still today.

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If you're like me, we served all week long for Easter, multiple events, multiple services.

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We had what Brian and I, my husband and I were calling the Easter hangover today. And

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so just felt a little extra tired. Some of you all might even have some of that, even

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though it might not have been you pastoring or leading, sometimes being around family

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and lots of people can create that kind of feeling. So if you're in any of that, just

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know that it will pass and that God has you and he's going to keep guiding you every step

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of the way. All right. So do I have any new ladies? I think everyone's been here before,

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but do I have any ladies that this is your first live session here with us tonight? If

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so, put that in the chat for me so we can welcome you. So glad for those of you that

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are joining back tonight. If you've never met me before, even if you watch the replay,

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my name's Bethany Cooper. I'm one of the master heartwork coaches here in our community. And

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I'm just love doing these heartwork sessions here for our community on Monday nights. I'm

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going to go ahead and do a couple housekeeping things, ladies. And again, as always, these

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are things that we repeat on a regular basis just to make sure if there are new people

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here live or those that would watch the replay that they kind of know some of our best practices

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while we're here in the heartwork. Some of those you might have heard me even mention

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last week when I say, Hey, we're not going to talk about boys. What I mean by that is

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I can give you guys a couple little tidbits here and there about some of the process of

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good things that can happen with men for you in the future. But we're not going to

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do any coaching around men, dating men. That's not what we're here to do right now. You guys

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will after you learn the basic heartwork, excuse me, tools here in the heartwork course,

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when you move to the next phase, you're going to have time to do plenty of heartwork around

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men because you're going to be talking about men and dating and all of that kind of stuff

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in the next phase. So that's not what we're going to do during heartwork sessions here

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on Monday nights during the heartwork. So I just want to kind of circle back to that.

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So on that note, if you are pursuing men, if you are trying to date men, if you are

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on the apps right now, or even just like, Hey, trying to meet guys out in public, we

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would encourage you to press pause on that completely while you are in the heartwork

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course. For those of you that, you know, Hey, you might need a little extra time in here.

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It might be more than five or six weeks that you're pressing pause on that, but we highly

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recommend it. Here's why people that don't take this guidance, you all, I'm not kidding,

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end up regretting it later on because they tend to have to circle back and do the heartwork

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all the way over because when we are still trying to attract guys, it's a distraction

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for some of you. I don't know if any of you are like me years ago, like way back. I didn't

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know how to not have a boyfriend. And I don't want that to sound like, Oh my gosh, guys

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were always after me. That's not what I'm saying. I grew up in a lot of dysfunction.

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And so for me, I always felt like I needed to have a guy's attention to feel fulfilled

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in some way, shape or form. And so I didn't really know how to get out of that until my

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heart was healing more. And so maybe some of you might even struggle with that. Like

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if you don't have a guy, you just feel like you're there's like you're not as important.

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You're not as valued. You're not as whatever, fill in the blank. And if that is you, you're

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in the right place. Okay. Some of you are like, I could care less about any guys right

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now. We don't want you there either because that's also a signal of heartwork that is

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needed because there's probably guys that have hurt you along the way. And that just,

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that creates a little bit of callousness, if you will, if there's unresolved hurt and

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pain. So anyway.

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Either way, we want to encourage you to press pause on that and then investing in self-care

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in this journey is super important.

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So some of the things, basic things, I'm not going to go in depth in this, but basic things

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that we recommend, drinking plenty of water, moving your body, getting extra rest, even

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if you're not a nap person, you all just laying down, even if you don't fall asleep and taking

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extra time where there's not other things like TV, people around, you know, where you're

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just like even, I set a timer sometimes, I'll just lay down sometimes for like 20 minutes

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and just lay there.

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Even if I don't fall asleep, it helps us kind of recenter, recalibrate a little bit.

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If you fall asleep, cool.

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Eating healthy foods, so fueling your body with really good nutrients, right?

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And then, I already mentioned about moving your body.

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One of the other things that I found to be very helpful was drinking detox tea.

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When I was doing the heart work, it helps your body eliminate toxins and some people

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will do even Epsom salt baths and that kind of stuff, but if you do Epsom salt, definitely

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drink extra water than normal, okay?

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And those are just ways that you can help your body eliminate toxins that might be getting

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released as you're doing the heart work, all right?

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Next one is Supernatural Saturday replay.

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The resurrection comes early sometimes, if you will, and that's what Jackie was talking

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about.

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Y'all are going to see that in your replay tab and I hope that you take time to listen

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to it.

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It was really, really good.

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All right, let me pray for us.

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Father, thank you.

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Thank you for every lady that's here live, those that are watching the replay, God, thank

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you.

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That even just as I was praying before our session tonight, just the reminder that you

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know exactly everything that they've been through.

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You know everything that they need, God, you know, things even about themselves that they

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may not even remember right now, God, I thank you that you love them so well.

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I pray that you would just bring revealings for healing to the surface tonight, that those

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things that are in darkness would be brought to the light, God, that you would help them

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to grow in the revelation and understanding of who you are as a good father who keeps

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his word.

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Yes, Lord, that you fulfill promises that you are loved and you cannot deny yourself,

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Lord, I thank you, God, that your word declares that you are not a man, that you should lie.

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So Lord, I pray that you would just come in and heal the wounds in our hearts, our minds,

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our bodies, our spirits, our souls, where the enemy has deceived us into believing that

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you're a trickster, that you lie, that you deceive, that you don't follow through on

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your word, that we can't trust you.

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God, I thank you that that isn't who you are, that you are a good father and you give

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good gifts to your children, including us, not just everybody else, but including us.

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So God, I thank you for repairing the breach tonight.

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Yes, Lord, and that you help us to then turn around and be that vessel that you can help

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repair the breach in other people's hearts and lives.

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We thank you for supernatural breakthrough.

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Holy Spirit, thanks for being here.

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We ask you to have your way, that you would be glorified in all things.

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And we just thank you, God, for breakthroughs, for revelation, for healing that's coming

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forth in Jesus name.

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Amen.

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All right.

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We're talking about the story of Candice a little bit tonight.

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And part of it, some of y'all might have already heard the video where Jackie talks about the

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story of Candice.

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Some of you might not be at that video yet.

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Either way, there's a story that Jackie shares about, talks about regarding Candice.

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Candice, basically in the video, when Jackie talks about it, Jackie didn't know who Candice

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was, but God was talking to her, to Jackie about Candice.

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And basically that Candice would be there and Candice needed healing, but Jackie didn't

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know who Candice was.

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So she kept talking to the Lord about it.

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Long story short, Candice ended up getting revealed.

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It was ended up being someone that was speaking at a conference and she was kind of a last

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minute fill in because the original person had to cancel.

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God knew Candice was going to be there and he told Jackie that she needed healing.

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So Jackie was able to figure out who she was, was able to reach out to her, ended up, you

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know, God used all of that to bring healing that was needed to Candice.

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Why am I bringing this up?

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Well, I'm bringing this up because God wants you to know tonight that God knows what you

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need. God knows where you are and he knows how to get you what you need.

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A lot of times we think we know what we need.

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We think we know how to get to where we need to go.

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Even regarding guys, we'll come here.

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So many of us will come here, we'll know we, something's not working because we keep attracting

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really unhealthy people or, you know, we keep feeling stuck, but yet we'll come here and

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then we'll try to basically...

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figure out our own way and not even follow the guidance.

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This happens all the time, you all.

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The coaches will be like, hey, that guy's bad news.

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You probably shouldn't continue to see him.

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These are flags that are, and they will keep dating them.

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Why do we do that kind of stuff?

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Well, because somewhere in us,

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there's an area that still needs healing,

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or we are minimizing our value

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because of brokenness in our lives.

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Like there's all different aspects,

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but ultimately at the core,

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it's that we believe that we are not worth good things

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and that God doesn't know how to get us good things,

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or that God breaks his promises to us.

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And if we believe that God broke a promise before,

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well, sure enough, we're gonna believe

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he's gonna break promises in the future.

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So I wanna talk to you a little bit tonight

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about where is your heart regarding promises

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that God has made to you?

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Some of you might even come from a lot of,

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which I am very charismatic.

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You all probably know that a little bit about me

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if you've been in the community any amount of time.

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I believe in all the gifts of the spirit,

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but some of the things that I even have come out of,

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and I really encourage people to come out of here

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in our community, is that like I had a dream

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and I knew my husband was in the dream,

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but I didn't see what he looked like.

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And I didn't like know anything about him,

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but all I knew was that when I woke up,

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I knew that it was my husband in the dream.

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And what I heard God say is he's coming soon.

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Y'all, I didn't know his height.

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I didn't know his weight.

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I didn't know what, you know,

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like, but people literally will declare,

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and I'm not saying it can't ever happen, okay?

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But most of the time when people think

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they know exactly who they're going to marry,

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it actually ends up binding them,

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controlling them, and keeps them stuck, okay?

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Now, I'm not here to convince you

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if that's true for you or not,

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if you've had one of those visions or words or whatever.

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I'm just saying from doing this for over five years,

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the people that have had those words

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actually end up getting tormented by them,

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and it doesn't serve them.

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So I really wanna encourage you

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that maybe some of you have gotten words in the past.

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I believe in prophetic words 100%,

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but one of the things we do not do in this community

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is we don't prophesy about mates, babies at all,

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because we just, God, like, is very clear about some things,

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and he's very clear about, you know,

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using wisdom and caution,

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and as you release prophetic words and things like that.

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And so some of you, though, have gotten words,

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and they haven't come to pass.

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And because that hasn't happened,

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you believe God wasn't being truthful,

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or that, you know, he's holding out on you.

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Here's the reality.

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Sometimes you all, seasons change, okay?

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Now, years ago, God gave a prophetic word to me

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through someone that I was gonna be used

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to minister to marriages and families.

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Y'all, when I got the prophetic word, I almost laughed,

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because my marriage back at that time,

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my first marriage, was literally falling apart,

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like, faster than it could be held together by any means.

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And so it was kind of funny to me

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that God would use someone to speak that word to me,

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because at that point, I was like,

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I don't think there's any way this marriage can be,

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A, healed, and B, that I can be used

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to minister to marriages and families.

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Well, many, many years later,

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even before I came into this community,

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I was on a group of people planning.

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I served with a church that's pretty well-known,

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and one of the things we did is we put on

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an online marriage conference for couples,

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and everybody was a couple except for me.

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I was the single person giving input,

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because I had gone through divorce,

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and God positioned me for purpose in that scenario.

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Then from there, God started opening doors

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after I went through healing in this community

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to start coaching here,

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and, you know, the rest is kind of history, y'all.

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I do help do marriage,

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Simba's premarital coaching with my husband now

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through last year's single.

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We do all kinds of stuff, obviously helping people heal

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and step into healthy kingdom families and marriages,

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and then just things that Brian and I do in the local church.

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But I'm saying that to you to say this.

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Sometimes we get a word,

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and we can't comprehend what God is saying in that moment,

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but that doesn't mean we should disregard it completely.

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But I was able to go back and really ask the Lord,

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you know, what is it that you were trying to say

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through this whole experience?

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that, I didn't get the answer right away. It was many years later that it started making sense.

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And I was able to do that,

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and I was able to go back and really ask the Lord,

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So some of you are going to have words like that. And so I'm not asking you or telling you to

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you know, what is it that you were trying to say

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discard everything that anyone has ever spoken over you. But what I am saying is that sometimes

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some words, it's just time to let them go and move on from them. And if God does something in that,

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awesome. But don't let that keep you from moving forward into something new.

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So I believe that God is going to reveal to you all tonight areas that you might be struggling

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to believe that God cares about your needs and your wants. Yes, I did say that. But here's the

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thing. Some of our wants don't align with God's purposes and plans for us. And that's where we

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get hung up. You know, we believe that God should do it our way and in our timing and it should look

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and in our timing and it should look like this. And we have a certain package that we think it

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needs to come in and all of the things. And I will tell you all, I've kind of, you know,

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shared a little bit of my testimony regarding my spiritual daughter's dad. I mean, I wanted God to

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lead him to marry me. And I pleaded for that. Praise God. God did not answer that prayer.

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And I did not end up marrying him. But here's the thing. Because of that, for a long time,

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I struggled to believe that God cared about things that I wanted when I was in that dynamic

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and that prayer was not getting answered. And then I started believing lies beyond that,

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that the enemy was telling me. And so through my heart healing, a lot of what really set me free

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was when Jackie talked about the baby gates. I don't know if you all have heard that one yet,

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but when she's talking about, you know, sometimes God has baby gates because we're not ready for

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what the promise is that he's about to give us. And so I needed some baby gates, you all.

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I thought I was ready. And A, I wasn't ready to get married again. And B, he was not healthy.

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So praise God that he had baby gates and that he did not just, you know, release that to me

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in that season. And God protected me from a lot of things. I call them my spiritual daughters

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because I did not marry him. And they're not my biological daughters, but I have for years

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treated them like my own daughters and in the spirit have adopted them. And they were in our

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wedding and all the things. So that's the name that I just felt led to give it to take the

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pressure off of them. And all the, yeah, just because, you know, people would like even be like,

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because my girls look like me, it's kind of ironic. And so people all the time would be like,

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you look to my girls, you look just like your mom. And so that was just something we came up

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with to take the pressure off of them when things would happen like that, because they do have a mom.

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And even though she's not a great mom, that's important that they don't feel any pressure to

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give me some kind of title like that, if you will. But yeah, so that's something that I did.

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And it's been really awesome connection with them in that regard. And so as I'm talking about,

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God wants to answer your, respond to your needs and your wants. One of the things that I want you

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to be asking yourself as you're hearing the coaching tonight is, is there an area that you

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need God to reveal to you that he is good and that he will come through for you?

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Not just your sister, Lisa, on the screen here, or your, I'm going to make up a name,

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maybe your friend, Judy, who lives next door to you, but like you, God wants to come through for you

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and he will come through. Letdowns, trauma, and unhealed wounds from the past can cause us to

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view God and other people through those filters and false lenses that I've been talking to you

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all about. You know, we go around and it changes the way that everything looks. Numbers 23 verse

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19, I'm going to read it to you in two versions, and I'm going to read it to you in the King James

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version as well as the message. They're both really good, but they say it a little tiny

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differently, and so I wanted to read both. Here's the King James version. Again, this is

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Numbers 23 verse 19. God is not a man that he should lie, neither the son of man that he should

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repent. Hath he said and shall he not do it? Or has he spoken and shall he not make good?

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Here's the message translation. God is not a man, one given to lies, and not a son of man

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changing his mind. Does he speak and not do what he says? Does he promise and not come true?

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through. We know that Jesus was God and man, but there is a definite distinction between us,

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us as men and women, and the son of man and God himself. You know, there's a distinction like

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Jesus felt everything, he experienced everything so that he could relate to us, but he was still

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God, you all. And God is not a man that he should lie. He's not, he's not someone who

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just goes against his word, but sometimes we hear something and we kind of twist it a little bit,

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you know, just like when Satan met Jesus in the wilderness, he used the word, but then he twisted

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a little bit to see if he could trip Jesus up. Sometimes that's what the enemy does with us.

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He takes the word of God or even a message that we hear at church or a prophetic word, and then

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we're like, he twists it and distorts it just enough that we start to go down a path that

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actually isn't fully the truth. Okay? And so we have to be, it's not something we have to be

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afraid of. We don't have to be afraid to never take any steps, you all. And if anybody ever

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tells you that, that's not true. That's not true walking as a disciple and growing and learning and

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to be sanctified and walking out your faith. It's faith and works. It's walking it out

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and learning how to grow in discernment. And if you don't know how to do that,

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the one of the best things you can do is read the word of God and get to know God's voice,

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100%. If you don't know how to, what that even means, write in the gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke,

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and John. Stay there. Read it over and over. Let your spirit absorb the words and the voice of

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Jesus throughout that, and you're going to learn the word of or the voice of God more and more and

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more. Highly recommend that. If you guys are struggling to hear God, that's one of the best

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things I could recommend. And I can't take credit for this. This was Joyce Meyer, but I heard her

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and saw her do this years ago, and I tell everybody this. I really believe that it has a huge part of

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why I can hear God the way I do today. And y'all, I still am not perfect, okay? Like, I don't want

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it to sound like I just always know every single thing I say is 100% on point all the time. No,

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I just do my best. But here's the thing. Years ago, I mean, for 20 years, y'all, I've probably

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done this, but she said to put your hands on your ears and declare, I am God's sheep and I hear his

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voice. I am God's sheep and I hear his voice. The Bible says that we are his sheep and his sheep hear

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his voice. He is the good shepherd, okay? So, just that's totally side note, but that's something

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that's really helped me, and I prayed it over and over and over, and I've declared things over myself,

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and it, you know, again, I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I definitely believe that it's changed things

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for me. All right, here's another scripture for you. Psalm 31 verse 16 says, let your face shine

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on your servant. Save me in your unfailing love for thy mercy's sake. Unfailing love here, we're

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going to talk about it a little bit, not in great depth tonight, but I want you to hear what the

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different Greek and, excuse me, Hebrew definitions are. They're very similar, but each one has a

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little layer additional for you. So, in this Psalm 31 verse 16, when it says, save me in your

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unfailing love, it actually means goodness, kindness, faithfulness, that God is merciful.

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Psalm 32 verse 10 says, many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love,

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there it is again, surrounds the one who trusts in him.

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In this one, it's literally, unfailing love is mercy shall compass about him,

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to turn, turn about, encircle, or aside, or back, or towards, to go about, or around, to circle,

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encircle, excuse me, to surround. So, it literally is saying, the Lord's unfailing is literally

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encircling those who trust in him. Y'all, I just imagine this, like, even maybe just, if you can

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imagine, like, just right now, right where you're at, that God's unfailing love is just circling

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around you. It's pretty powerful, if you start to think about it, that he is that close, that when

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we choose to trust him, he comes and he's circling around us. He guards us on every side. Psalm 33

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verse 5, 18, and 22, here they are, the Lord loves righteousness and justice. The earth is full of

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his unfailing love. Here, it means the goodness of the Lord. Verse 18, but the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in him, and on those whose hope is in him.

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is in his unfailing love. In this one it's mercy. Verse 22, may your unfailing

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love be with us Lord even as we put our hope in you. In this verse it means

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mercy and goodness. So basically combines the meanings of the two prior verses I

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shared with you. Again that was Psalm 33 verse 5, 18, and 22. Sometimes just taking

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time to slow down and think about what some of these words actually mean. Verses

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just, I know that we read unfailing love and I think for the most part we're like

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oh yeah that's awesome. But when we really start to unpack it and look at

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like it's it's continuing to say like God is good, God is merciful, he's

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surrounding us because he loves us. When we fear him this is what we can expect.

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Fear him in a reverent way, not be afraid of him. That's the difference. Alright I'm

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gonna keep going. There's a song you guys have probably heard it. It used to be on

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all the time but I'm gonna read some of these lyrics over you. It's called

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Sparrows by Corey Asbury and I want you to imagine you know the reality of

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scripture that talks about how God cares for us even more than the sparrows. You

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know that we're gonna be clothes and better things than even the lilies of

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the field right? That's the scripture that it comes to mind for me but here is

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the song lyrics over you. The sparrows not worried about tomorrow or the

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troubles to come. The lilies not thinking about the seasons, the drought or the

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flood. A tree that's planted by the water isn't phased by the fire. So why should I

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be? Cuz you take good care of me. You take good care of me. You know what I

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need before I even ask a thing. And you hold me in your hands with a kindness

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that never ends. I'm carried in your love no matter what the future brings. Yeah

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you take good care of me. The sun's not worried about the winter cuz soon it

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will pass. The light is not thinking about the darkness or the shadow that it

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casts. A heart that's planted in forgiveness doesn't dwell in the past.

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So why should I be? Cuz you take good care of me. You take good care of me. You

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know what I need before I even ask a thing. And you hold me in your hands with

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a kindness that never ends. I'm carried in your love no matter what the future

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brings. Yeah you take good care of me.

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This week I would encourage you to find that song and meditate on it. Let it come

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in and really soak in your heart and your spirit. What is it? I mean think

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about this you all. The sparrow isn't worried about tomorrow and it's talking

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about this tree that's planted by the water. You know there's a lot of

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scripture that talks about us being like oaks of righteousness for those that

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love the Lord and live for him. That we can be like a tree planted by like

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streams of living water. And there's all kinds of imagery around that. And I love

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that he pulled it into this song because then he's saying a tree that's planted

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by water isn't even fazed by the fire. So why should we? Why should we? Why should

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we be afraid?

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The Lord wants to provide for you things that you can't even comprehend right now.

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I'm not saying it's easy. Sometimes it's hard to believe. But it is worth it. And

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when we have a struggle with belief we can say I believe. Help my unbelief. Jesus

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understands. God understands. The Holy Spirit. They get it.

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So why is this time any different from times in the past that you've tried to

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be with someone? Maybe you were married. Maybe you weren't married but you

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weren't in a relationship. Maybe you've never been in a relationship. I don't

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know what your story is. But so often that's what people they get even get

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into the heart work and they're like I don't even know if this is gonna work

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because the enemy is trying to convince so many of you that this isn't gonna

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work. And I'm here to tell you that these are some of the reasons why it's

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going to be different for you this time. Now I can coach you. I can cheer you on.

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But at the end of the day you believing it is what matters. But I hope this helps

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you take a step further towards that tonight. The reason that it's different

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this time is because a you're here investing in the heart work. I believe

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that every single one of you are different today than you were yesterday.

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Let me see a show of hands for my ladies that have been in this heart

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or course, even for a little while.

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Let's say our ladies maybe passed five weeks.

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You can raise your physical hand or your digital.

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Do you think you're different now than when

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you first started this course?

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Do you think you see things differently

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than when you first started this course?

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Hear things differently.

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Believe something different.

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So in that regard, for our newer ladies,

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I hope this encourages you that there are good things coming,

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that your change and transformation

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will enable you to see something different,

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do something different, think something different,

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that the best is yet to come.

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If we are different today than we were yesterday,

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well, wouldn't we choose differently today?

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Wouldn't we see a guy differently than we did today?

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I hope so.

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Some of us, the same kind of guys are going to come our way

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and some of us might still choose them and then realize,

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oh, wait, this isn't, I want to do this again.

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Some of us are just going to be like, oh, yeah, that guy's not for me.

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I used to fall into that trap, but I'm just not going to do that anymore.

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And then you're going to see the good guys, too.

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Because there are plenty of guys, you all.

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I'm serious.

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I know some of you struggle to believe that, that you think they're,

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it's like a needle in a haystack.

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I had a lady tell me that one time.

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She was struggling because she was dating this guy for a while.

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And he seemed like a nice enough guy, but then as they kept dating,

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there were things that revealed itself.

431
00:31:33.880 --> 00:31:35.760
That's what we want to happen.

432
00:31:35.760 --> 00:31:39.320
We don't want you guys marrying someone that isn't a good fit for you.

433
00:31:39.320 --> 00:31:40.200
And that's what happened.

434
00:31:40.200 --> 00:31:41.480
Things got revealed.

435
00:31:41.480 --> 00:31:43.120
He wasn't a good fit for her.

436
00:31:43.120 --> 00:31:45.320
He didn't really believe the same way that she did.

437
00:31:45.320 --> 00:31:48.280
He wasn't as committed in his relationship with the Lord.

438
00:31:48.280 --> 00:31:52.200
And you all, we got to be able to run the race with people that we're going to,

439
00:31:52.200 --> 00:31:56.600
that spiritual DNA, you want that to match.

440
00:31:56.600 --> 00:31:59.720
And so she ended up breaking up with that guy.

441
00:31:59.720 --> 00:32:02.160
It was a good decision, but it was really hard for her.

442
00:32:02.160 --> 00:32:05.880
And I met with her for a session after that.

443
00:32:05.880 --> 00:32:10.680
And she said, I feel like I'm looking for a needle in a haystack.

444
00:32:10.680 --> 00:32:14.120
And so as I was coaching her, I know this might sound funny,

445
00:32:14.120 --> 00:32:15.560
but this is what I saw.

446
00:32:15.560 --> 00:32:19.720
I saw unicorns showing up all over the map.

447
00:32:19.720 --> 00:32:20.880
That's what I saw.

448
00:32:20.880 --> 00:32:24.480
And I just told her, I said, I don't know exactly what this means,

449
00:32:24.480 --> 00:32:27.160
but I'm just going to tell you what I see.

450
00:32:27.160 --> 00:32:30.080
I just, as you were talking and we were praying through this,

451
00:32:30.080 --> 00:32:32.840
coaching through this, I kept seeing unicorns.

452
00:32:32.840 --> 00:32:35.680
And they were showing up all over the map.

453
00:32:35.680 --> 00:32:39.760
Well, if you think about it, the other way that people say things,

454
00:32:39.760 --> 00:32:45.680
you know, the needle in a haystack is they're looking for the unicorn.

455
00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:48.000
The one, they think there's only one.

456
00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:51.680
And what God was trying to say is there were plenty of unicorns.

457
00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:54.920
They were literally, well, I just saw them filling up the map.

458
00:32:54.920 --> 00:32:58.800
And so I created an image and I sent it to her.

459
00:32:58.800 --> 00:32:59.920
I'll look for that image.

460
00:32:59.920 --> 00:33:03.120
And if I remember tomorrow, I'll put it in the group so y'all can see it.

461
00:33:03.120 --> 00:33:06.360
And I hope that it will encourage your faith as well.

462
00:33:06.360 --> 00:33:09.480
God has plenty of resources.

463
00:33:09.480 --> 00:33:13.080
There are plenty of good men that love the Lord,

464
00:33:13.080 --> 00:33:16.360
that have good character, that are marriage-minded.

465
00:33:16.360 --> 00:33:19.360
And some of them are in that healing phase.

466
00:33:19.360 --> 00:33:24.440
Brian said the other night we were at something in the time frame

467
00:33:24.440 --> 00:33:28.280
that I was begging God.

468
00:33:28.280 --> 00:33:33.600
I was begging God for my spiritual daughter's dad to want to marry me.

469
00:33:33.600 --> 00:33:37.840
At that same time, Brian was praying for his wife.

470
00:33:37.840 --> 00:33:42.840
Y'all, his prayers were canceling out mine.

471
00:33:42.840 --> 00:33:47.840
It's kind of funny if you think about it, but it's real.

472
00:33:47.840 --> 00:33:52.840
I was praying for a husband too.

473
00:33:52.840 --> 00:33:57.840
I just was praying for the wrong husband at that point.

474
00:33:57.840 --> 00:34:02.840
But God knew what we both, Brian and I both needed.

475
00:34:03.840 --> 00:34:08.840
Brian was in a relationship after his prior marriage, before he married me too,

476
00:34:08.840 --> 00:34:12.840
and he was engaged to that woman.

477
00:34:12.840 --> 00:34:15.840
And she broke it off.

478
00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:19.840
So glad that she did, but she was super unhealthy.

479
00:34:19.840 --> 00:34:23.840
They were unhealthy together, just like my spiritual daughter's dad and I.

480
00:34:23.840 --> 00:34:25.840
We were not good together.

481
00:34:25.840 --> 00:34:28.840
And so this is kind of what happens sometimes.

482
00:34:29.840 --> 00:34:32.840
We have to trust that God knows what we need.

483
00:34:32.840 --> 00:34:35.840
He knows where we are, and He knows how to get it to us.

484
00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:38.840
Alright, I'm going to keep going.

485
00:34:38.840 --> 00:34:40.840
So, you're different now.

486
00:34:40.840 --> 00:34:42.840
So that's why it can be different now.

487
00:34:42.840 --> 00:34:43.840
Here's another one.

488
00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:46.840
Every single day, as we continue to move forward,

489
00:34:46.840 --> 00:34:48.840
as you continue to surrender to the Lord,

490
00:34:48.840 --> 00:34:50.840
you're surrendering the pen.

491
00:34:50.840 --> 00:34:52.840
You're surrendering your idea.

492
00:34:52.840 --> 00:34:55.840
You're allowing God to come in and remove all those

493
00:34:55.840 --> 00:34:58.840
do not enter signs in your heart, in your life, in your spirit.

494
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.440
You heal the more that you grow in your identity in Christ,

495
00:35:03.440 --> 00:35:06.600
the more you become someone new.

496
00:35:06.600 --> 00:35:10.240
And then you also unbecome the counterfeit identities

497
00:35:10.240 --> 00:35:13.160
that you were never intended to be in the first place.

498
00:35:14.080 --> 00:35:18.200
So you all, doesn't it make sense

499
00:35:18.200 --> 00:35:20.600
that it's going to be different this time?

500
00:35:22.840 --> 00:35:25.400
It's gonna be different this time.

501
00:35:25.400 --> 00:35:26.720
The above things are things

502
00:35:26.720 --> 00:35:28.040
that can help you choose differently,

503
00:35:28.040 --> 00:35:29.240
see people differently,

504
00:35:29.240 --> 00:35:31.640
see the world around you from a healthier place,

505
00:35:31.640 --> 00:35:33.960
recognize the voice of God more,

506
00:35:33.960 --> 00:35:36.340
and trust that he isn't keeping things from you,

507
00:35:36.340 --> 00:35:39.680
but he is defending you.

508
00:35:39.680 --> 00:35:42.200
He's protecting you, he's preparing you,

509
00:35:42.200 --> 00:35:44.680
he's leading you into the fullness of everything

510
00:35:44.680 --> 00:35:49.680
that God has planned for you and promised for you.

511
00:35:51.160 --> 00:35:54.300
Heart change equals life change.

512
00:35:55.300 --> 00:35:59.080
Real and lasting change is a process.

513
00:35:59.080 --> 00:36:01.260
So I'm gonna encourage you all tonight

514
00:36:01.260 --> 00:36:04.980
to step a little further out of the microwave culture

515
00:36:04.980 --> 00:36:08.460
that we live in and the microwave mentalities.

516
00:36:08.460 --> 00:36:11.420
You know, we're expecting the instant coffee.

517
00:36:11.420 --> 00:36:12.940
You all, we go through the,

518
00:36:12.940 --> 00:36:15.220
okay, we like Starbucks in our house.

519
00:36:16.160 --> 00:36:18.320
My husband loves coffee, I enjoy coffee,

520
00:36:18.320 --> 00:36:19.500
he loves it more than I do,

521
00:36:19.500 --> 00:36:22.460
so we make a lot of trips to coffee stores.

522
00:36:22.460 --> 00:36:24.660
But you go through this Starbucks line

523
00:36:24.660 --> 00:36:26.780
and sometimes you gotta wait a little bit.

524
00:36:26.780 --> 00:36:30.340
And you can equate this to a food restaurant line

525
00:36:30.340 --> 00:36:31.900
if you're not a coffee drinker.

526
00:36:32.920 --> 00:36:37.120
But have you all ever been in a line

527
00:36:37.120 --> 00:36:40.860
and it's only been like, I don't know,

528
00:36:40.860 --> 00:36:45.340
three minutes, maybe five, and you're getting irritated?

529
00:36:45.340 --> 00:36:46.500
Because you gotta wait.

530
00:36:48.100 --> 00:36:51.820
Hmm, how's that gonna work in the dating world?

531
00:36:53.380 --> 00:36:55.260
Think about this.

532
00:36:55.260 --> 00:36:58.020
The culture that we live in and the mentalities

533
00:36:58.020 --> 00:37:01.980
that we have about not wanting to wait at all

534
00:37:01.980 --> 00:37:03.860
are not helping us.

535
00:37:04.780 --> 00:37:06.080
They're hurting us.

536
00:37:07.420 --> 00:37:11.000
So, are you expecting instant coffee?

537
00:37:11.000 --> 00:37:14.300
Maybe it's even, in addition to the romantic relationship,

538
00:37:14.300 --> 00:37:16.120
maybe it's a job, maybe it's a new house,

539
00:37:16.120 --> 00:37:17.620
maybe it's a new car, maybe,

540
00:37:17.620 --> 00:37:21.380
whatever your upgrade is that you're wanting or needing,

541
00:37:21.380 --> 00:37:23.520
I believe God tonight is trying to encourage you

542
00:37:23.520 --> 00:37:27.540
that heart change equals lasting change,

543
00:37:27.540 --> 00:37:29.260
but it's a process.

544
00:37:29.260 --> 00:37:33.140
We don't just go to bed and wake up and like,

545
00:37:33.140 --> 00:37:35.860
ah, like it's here.

546
00:37:35.860 --> 00:37:37.500
Now, sometimes, y'all, we get,

547
00:37:37.500 --> 00:37:39.140
there's deliverance, there's breakthrough,

548
00:37:39.140 --> 00:37:43.300
and yes, things are surprises and God sends things our way,

549
00:37:43.300 --> 00:37:44.140
but you know what?

550
00:37:44.140 --> 00:37:48.980
He's not going to send us something that will hurt us.

551
00:37:48.980 --> 00:37:51.900
And some of you, I love you,

552
00:37:52.900 --> 00:37:55.220
you think you're ready for a husband right now.

553
00:37:57.580 --> 00:38:00.580
I love you enough to tell you that you're not,

554
00:38:00.580 --> 00:38:01.720
you're not ready yet.

555
00:38:03.300 --> 00:38:05.000
Maybe you'll be ready soon.

556
00:38:05.980 --> 00:38:07.620
Some of you need a little bit more healing

557
00:38:07.620 --> 00:38:11.840
than some other people, but it's worth it.

558
00:38:11.840 --> 00:38:13.660
It's worth it if you walk into freedom,

559
00:38:13.660 --> 00:38:17.380
it's worth it if you walk into like all the blessings

560
00:38:17.380 --> 00:38:19.060
that God has for you.

561
00:38:21.460 --> 00:38:25.600
So are you ready to believe in supernatural transformation?

562
00:38:26.660 --> 00:38:30.880
Are you ready to partner with God in the journey

563
00:38:30.880 --> 00:38:34.560
and then just keep taking imperfect action every day?

564
00:38:35.700 --> 00:38:36.660
Y'all, that's what it is.

565
00:38:36.660 --> 00:38:38.360
It's imperfect action.

566
00:38:38.360 --> 00:38:42.100
We're not always going to know for sure

567
00:38:42.100 --> 00:38:44.820
if it is 100% the way.

568
00:38:44.820 --> 00:38:46.480
Do you know that the word of God says

569
00:38:46.480 --> 00:38:48.080
that he will be the voice behind us

570
00:38:48.080 --> 00:38:49.620
telling us the way to go?

571
00:38:50.920 --> 00:38:52.920
But sometimes we struggle to know for sure,

572
00:38:52.920 --> 00:38:54.200
is it my voice or his?

573
00:38:54.200 --> 00:38:56.200
I don't know.

574
00:38:57.560 --> 00:38:59.560
Y'all, I said I was never going to move.

575
00:39:01.700 --> 00:39:05.100
I was not going to move away from my spiritual daughters.

576
00:39:06.360 --> 00:39:10.360
I told Jackie that over and over and over.

577
00:39:10.360 --> 00:39:12.440
And she lovingly kept coming back.

578
00:39:12.440 --> 00:39:14.120
I think you need to consider this.

579
00:39:14.120 --> 00:39:15.820
I think you need to consider this.

580
00:39:17.200 --> 00:39:18.860
So when I first went on the dating apps,

581
00:39:18.860 --> 00:39:20.200
I said I was going to, okay,

582
00:39:20.200 --> 00:39:22.520
I'll look two and a half hour radius.

583
00:39:22.520 --> 00:39:25.400
Because I figured here was what was going on in my head.

584
00:39:25.400 --> 00:39:29.400
If it's two and a half hours, they'll move for me.

585
00:39:29.400 --> 00:39:30.460
They'll move here.

586
00:39:31.360 --> 00:39:32.860
They're going to, they'll do it.

587
00:39:32.860 --> 00:39:35.040
If they like me enough, they'll move here.

588
00:39:35.040 --> 00:39:37.980
And that is, I was, okay, I can drive two and a half hours.

589
00:39:37.980 --> 00:39:39.240
We can probably make that work.

590
00:39:39.240 --> 00:39:41.480
And I was kind of getting logical about it.

591
00:39:42.520 --> 00:39:45.040
Two days later, the Lord and you all.

592
00:39:45.040 --> 00:39:46.760
So I lived in Kentucky at the time.

593
00:39:46.760 --> 00:39:48.000
And if you live in Kentucky,

594
00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:49.440
I hope I don't offend you by this,

595
00:39:49.440 --> 00:39:51.920
but I was getting some really crazy guys

596
00:39:51.920 --> 00:39:52.980
showing up in my feed.

597
00:39:52.980 --> 00:39:55.800
I mean, like crazy.

598
00:39:55.800 --> 00:39:59.400
One dude had like pink, all pink, crazy.

599
00:39:59.400 --> 00:40:00.240
I don't know.

600
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:09.000
I'm like, no, swipe, but saying all that to say, I'm like, I think I need to maybe broaden the search here.

601
00:40:09.000 --> 00:40:16.000
And so I did genuinely pray about it and I felt like, okay, I think I can do four and a half hours.

602
00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:24.000
And so something I said I would never do, I thought, okay, I think I can do four and a half hours.

603
00:40:24.000 --> 00:40:27.000
I probably could still come see my girls all the time.

604
00:40:27.000 --> 00:40:34.000
And all that, you know, and I started again, just trying to like, what could I really be able to do?

605
00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:42.000
The day that I changed it to four and a half hours is the day that Brian reached out to me.

606
00:40:42.000 --> 00:40:47.000
I know our story is very supernatural. It's not going to happen that way for everybody.

607
00:40:47.000 --> 00:40:53.000
Okay, I wish that it would, but I know it's not going to because I, again, we coach people all the time.

608
00:40:53.000 --> 00:41:02.000
Ours was very supernatural. He drove to Kentucky that Sunday to meet me for our first date.

609
00:41:02.000 --> 00:41:09.000
He drove four and a half hours, drove home that night, and then he kept coming back every weekend and we kept going on dates.

610
00:41:09.000 --> 00:41:19.000
All that to say this, as we were dating, when I met his mom for the first time, she was talking about his dad.

611
00:41:19.000 --> 00:41:24.000
His dad had passed away a little under a year before I met Brian.

612
00:41:24.000 --> 00:41:32.000
And I heard the Lord say, you know, she needs Brian right now.

613
00:41:32.000 --> 00:41:35.000
She needed him to be there.

614
00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:40.000
And I knew in that moment that I was going to be the one to move.

615
00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:44.000
Excuse me. I was going to be the one to move.

616
00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:51.000
And all of a sudden, it was okay on the inside.

617
00:41:51.000 --> 00:41:57.000
Like, because I had a reason. Does that make sense, everyone?

618
00:41:57.000 --> 00:42:05.000
And then, you know, I moved to Indiana to live closer to him so we could date more in person.

619
00:42:06.000 --> 00:42:15.000
And then, you know what happens? He gets a new appointment as a pastor and he moves an hour away further.

620
00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:18.000
I couldn't even believe it. I'm like, you gotta be joking me.

621
00:42:18.000 --> 00:42:23.000
So then, thankfully it was only an hour, but then we're like driving back and forth again, all this stuff.

622
00:42:23.000 --> 00:42:28.000
And now I'm in Indiana. I don't know anybody. My girls aren't there and all the things.

623
00:42:28.000 --> 00:42:33.000
So the last thing I'm going to say, and I'm telling this story for a reason.

624
00:42:33.000 --> 00:42:38.000
So then, you know, we get married. We live in little Tipton, Indiana.

625
00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:44.000
This little teeny tiny town, which I thought I would never move to.

626
00:42:44.000 --> 00:42:48.000
You all, I'm not city girl, city girl, but I like things being close.

627
00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:51.000
And, you know, the grocery store was a half an hour away.

628
00:42:51.000 --> 00:42:56.000
And so every time to go to the grocery store, I had to drive, you know, okay.

629
00:42:56.000 --> 00:43:04.000
All these things that I said, I wouldn't do that. God led me into as a part of the process.

630
00:43:04.000 --> 00:43:15.000
And now let's see back after we lived there two years, then God leads us to Florida.

631
00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:20.000
Y'all I'm like, I don't know, 17 hours away from my girls.

632
00:43:21.000 --> 00:43:28.000
I don't know if I would have been able to do that right from the get-go.

633
00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:38.000
But what God did is he helped me take steps a little bit at a time to get to a place that we're at now.

634
00:43:38.000 --> 00:43:46.000
And we're here together. Is it easy? No, it's not. Am I happy? Yes, I am.

635
00:43:47.000 --> 00:43:53.000
I love my life. I love my husband. I love what we're doing for the Lord together.

636
00:43:53.000 --> 00:43:56.000
And I'm so excited about what's to come.

637
00:43:56.000 --> 00:44:02.000
And I do my best to keep the lines of communication open and go visit my girls as much as we can.

638
00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:06.000
And you all, this is a part of walking the pathway out.

639
00:44:07.000 --> 00:44:15.000
If God had asked me to move to Florida back then in the beginning, I think I probably would have really struggled with that.

640
00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:24.000
And out of his goodness towards me and his love for me, he brought me at a pace that I could handle.

641
00:44:24.000 --> 00:44:26.000
That's what I'm trying to say to you all.

642
00:44:26.000 --> 00:44:33.000
So some of you all may not be able to comprehend what's in store in the days ahead, but God is good.

643
00:44:33.000 --> 00:44:39.000
And he loves you and he wants to guide you and help you and bless your life.

644
00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:46.000
Some of you, he might ask you to move many states away.

645
00:44:46.000 --> 00:44:52.000
But if he asks you to do it, it's because he has something good in store.

646
00:44:52.000 --> 00:44:56.000
I'm just planting seeds tonight. Just planting seeds.

647
00:44:56.000 --> 00:45:00.000
Not to cause you to panic, but to help you understand that God is good.

648
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:09.440
God was a good father to me, and I get to live in the overflow of all of his blessings

649
00:45:09.440 --> 00:45:10.440
now.

650
00:45:10.440 --> 00:45:17.480
Again, it's not, everybody goes through hard things, you all, but man, it's good.

651
00:45:17.480 --> 00:45:21.320
So I hope that your faith is getting encouraged tonight.

652
00:45:21.320 --> 00:45:27.440
I hope that your heart is getting encouraged that God is good and he will come through.

653
00:45:27.440 --> 00:45:34.360
I want you to also be asking yourself, where do I currently need an upgrade in my understanding

654
00:45:34.360 --> 00:45:36.480
of God's care for me?

655
00:45:36.480 --> 00:45:44.240
Because I'm sharing with you his goodness in my life, but where do you need him to upgrade

656
00:45:44.240 --> 00:45:48.480
the understanding of his goodness and his care in your life?

657
00:45:48.480 --> 00:45:52.760
All right, here's the breakout question for you all.

658
00:45:52.760 --> 00:45:56.400
That question I just gave you, that's for you all to meditate on this week, the next

659
00:45:56.400 --> 00:46:01.600
few weeks, and really lean into with the Lord, like, okay, do I believe that God cares

660
00:46:01.600 --> 00:46:02.760
about me?

661
00:46:02.760 --> 00:46:08.240
Do I believe that God has good things for me and that he's going to guide me lovingly

662
00:46:08.240 --> 00:46:10.800
by the hand into those things?

663
00:46:10.800 --> 00:46:14.720
Or do I believe that God is going to push me and force me, and he's going to make me

664
00:46:14.720 --> 00:46:19.560
be in a relationship with someone I don't even think is handsome or cute, and the guy's

665
00:46:19.560 --> 00:46:23.440
going to be mean, and whatever it is that we believe.

666
00:46:23.480 --> 00:46:29.960
Those are the things you have to unpack in this process, all right?

667
00:46:29.960 --> 00:46:34.200
Here's your question for the breakout session.

668
00:46:34.200 --> 00:46:38.760
It's based on the broken promises that I started tonight with.

669
00:46:38.760 --> 00:46:44.240
When was a time that someone broke a promise to you?

670
00:46:44.240 --> 00:46:49.080
And how is that still affecting you today?

671
00:46:49.080 --> 00:46:54.040
When was a time that someone broke a promise to you, and how is that still affecting you

672
00:46:54.040 --> 00:46:55.040
today?

673
00:46:55.040 --> 00:46:58.920
All right, let me get these rooms ready.

674
00:46:58.920 --> 00:47:05.720
Oh, there we go.

675
00:47:05.720 --> 00:47:08.440
I'm going to do three ladies to a room.

676
00:47:08.440 --> 00:47:12.440
So remember to be short, brief, and powerful, ladies.

677
00:47:12.440 --> 00:47:15.440
Let's see here.

678
00:47:15.800 --> 00:47:19.080
Yeah, I'll do seven minutes.

679
00:47:19.080 --> 00:47:21.560
So you'll have a little over two minutes.

680
00:47:21.560 --> 00:47:24.520
So again, go short, brief, and powerful.

681
00:47:24.520 --> 00:47:27.000
If you aren't wanting to go into a room, that's totally fine.

682
00:47:27.000 --> 00:47:30.320
If you all get in there and someone's not there, just wait a minute.

683
00:47:30.320 --> 00:47:33.960
I'll have to wait and watch people get in, and I'll move people around if I need to.

684
00:47:33.960 --> 00:47:35.880
All right, that's up on the screen for you.

685
00:47:35.880 --> 00:47:38.280
I'm praying for you all.

686
00:47:38.280 --> 00:47:40.520
Quick those as quick as you can.

687
00:47:40.520 --> 00:47:58.120
All right, I think I have two ladies in every room.

688
00:47:58.120 --> 00:47:59.120
Awesome.

689
00:47:59.120 --> 00:48:02.760
Thank you, Father, for everything you're doing tonight.

690
00:48:02.760 --> 00:48:07.280
We thank you for good things that are coming, even if we don't recognize it or realize it.

691
00:48:07.280 --> 00:48:12.040
God, I thank you that you would transform our hearts, our minds.

692
00:48:12.040 --> 00:48:15.200
God, we thank you for upgrades in the supernatural realm.

693
00:48:15.200 --> 00:48:17.480
God, we thank you that you...

694
00:48:17.480 --> 00:48:22.560
Yes, Lord, you have storehouses of blessings that which we could not contain it.

695
00:48:22.560 --> 00:48:29.400
God, I pray that you would help these ladies to not only have dreams, Lord, in the nighttime,

696
00:48:29.400 --> 00:48:35.080
but have daydreams that you would stir up and stoke hope and joy and speak a little

697
00:48:35.080 --> 00:48:40.680
full of glory in their lives, that you would start to help them to hear a new, yes, Lord,

698
00:48:40.680 --> 00:48:43.960
that they would walk to the beat of a new drum.

699
00:48:43.960 --> 00:48:48.080
Then no more would they follow the lies and the pathway of the enemy and the places that

700
00:48:48.080 --> 00:48:50.680
he leads them into of doubt and fear and unbelief.

701
00:48:50.680 --> 00:48:55.120
Yes, Lord, we bind and break every spirit of fear off of them because we know that fear

702
00:48:55.120 --> 00:48:57.480
has to do with torment.

703
00:48:57.480 --> 00:49:01.880
We thank you that we have a spirit of love and of power and of a sound mind that we walk

704
00:49:01.920 --> 00:49:05.560
into the fullness of God's plans and promises for us.

705
00:49:05.560 --> 00:49:11.840
God, we thank you that you are continuing to, yes, mature us into who you have called

706
00:49:11.840 --> 00:49:17.840
us to be and equip us to be able to carry the blessings that you're about to give us.

707
00:49:17.840 --> 00:49:23.720
God, we thank you for restoring all the broken and fallen places in our lives, Lord.

708
00:49:23.720 --> 00:49:25.600
Yes, Lord.

709
00:49:25.600 --> 00:49:27.360
Yes, Lord.

710
00:49:27.600 --> 00:49:32.160
Just like a street sometimes has potholes and man, it can just mess up a car.

711
00:49:32.160 --> 00:49:35.000
God, I thank you that you're filling potholes tonight.

712
00:49:35.000 --> 00:49:36.000
You're filling cracks.

713
00:49:36.000 --> 00:49:37.440
God, we thank you.

714
00:49:37.440 --> 00:49:40.120
You're paving new cement in places.

715
00:49:40.120 --> 00:49:46.880
God, you're making new, you know, that rivers in the desert and the streams of God, set

716
00:49:46.880 --> 00:49:47.880
it backwards.

717
00:49:47.880 --> 00:49:52.000
Lord, we just thank you that you're just, you know exactly what you're doing.

718
00:49:52.000 --> 00:49:54.640
You know how to create that new thing in our lives.

719
00:49:54.640 --> 00:49:55.640
God.

720
00:49:55.640 --> 00:50:00.000
Yes, Lord, where the enemy has stolen and taken things from us.

721
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:07.000
God, we thank you for restitution and all of those things that even like Job, God, that

722
00:50:07.000 --> 00:50:12.440
he, when everything was restored to him, God, that he was given double back for everything

723
00:50:12.440 --> 00:50:13.440
that he had lost.

724
00:50:13.440 --> 00:50:17.520
God, we thank you for healing and truth and life.

725
00:50:17.520 --> 00:50:21.920
We thank you for Romans 8, 28 and the passion translation that says, so we are convinced

726
00:50:21.920 --> 00:50:28.000
that every detail of our lives is continually woven together to fit into God's perfect plan

727
00:50:28.000 --> 00:50:32.800
of bringing good into our lives, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill

728
00:50:32.800 --> 00:50:34.800
his designed purpose.

729
00:50:34.800 --> 00:50:40.720
God, I thank you that even right now, just like a tapestry, you're like weaving all the

730
00:50:40.720 --> 00:50:44.960
things together for good in our lives, Lord.

731
00:50:44.960 --> 00:50:52.720
That you would take all the pain, all the mess, all the disruption, even sickness that

732
00:50:52.720 --> 00:50:56.980
some have endured, losses, people that have been grieving God.

733
00:50:56.980 --> 00:51:01.020
We ask you to heal hearts where there's been grief, where there's been weariness, where

734
00:51:01.020 --> 00:51:03.340
there's been heaviness, where people have felt stuck.

735
00:51:03.340 --> 00:51:08.020
God, we thank you that you would just remove barriers tonight in the spirit realm.

736
00:51:08.020 --> 00:51:09.020
Yes, Lord.

737
00:51:09.020 --> 00:51:10.020
Yes, Lord.

738
00:51:10.020 --> 00:51:16.140
I thank you that, um, I just even see like almost as if people are going to a library

739
00:51:16.140 --> 00:51:19.900
and they're just looking, looking, looking, looking, and then they pull the book out and

740
00:51:19.900 --> 00:51:21.620
it's like the right book at the right time.

741
00:51:21.620 --> 00:51:25.100
God, I thank you for divine appointments, Lord.

742
00:51:25.100 --> 00:51:29.740
Even in the healing process, God, even as I hear this, the videos and read the book

743
00:51:29.740 --> 00:51:34.340
that it would be just these feelings constantly of, I'm here at the appointed right time.

744
00:51:34.340 --> 00:51:38.780
I'm learning the thing I need to learn at the right moment to receive the right revelation

745
00:51:38.780 --> 00:51:40.780
to receive the right breakthrough.

746
00:51:40.780 --> 00:51:45.580
And God, I thank you that you are the great organizer and the dot connector that, you

747
00:51:45.580 --> 00:51:50.940
know, everything we need at the right moment, God, and we just thank you that, um, you are

748
00:51:50.940 --> 00:51:52.660
not withholding from us, God.

749
00:51:52.660 --> 00:51:57.100
We thank you that you are sending forth your love towards us.

750
00:51:57.100 --> 00:52:01.020
Thank you that you would help us to receive an upgrade in the revelation of your love

751
00:52:01.020 --> 00:52:02.020
for us.

752
00:52:02.020 --> 00:52:03.020
Yes, Lord.

753
00:52:03.020 --> 00:52:04.020
Yes, Lord.

754
00:52:04.020 --> 00:52:11.900
Isaiah 61, three says to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes.

755
00:52:11.900 --> 00:52:20.220
Lord, I thank you that you would help us to, um, receive your renewal in every area that's

756
00:52:20.220 --> 00:52:23.420
needed where there's been, um, destruction in the past.

757
00:52:23.420 --> 00:52:25.420
God, we thank you for that beauty.

758
00:52:25.420 --> 00:52:31.620
Yes, Lord, we thank you that you had blanket us with your glory, with your love, with your

759
00:52:31.620 --> 00:52:35.020
protection.

760
00:52:35.020 --> 00:52:38.500
Thank you that you cover us when we make mistakes.

761
00:52:38.500 --> 00:52:41.900
God, that your mercy is, is so prevalent.

762
00:52:41.900 --> 00:52:43.660
It's so abundant towards us.

763
00:52:43.660 --> 00:52:50.100
Just like we read and learn tonight about your unfailing love, Lord, it's just flowing.

764
00:52:50.980 --> 00:52:56.300
Always towards us and for us, God, that you fight for us.

765
00:52:56.300 --> 00:53:01.540
We thank you that you would just Lord, just yes, Lord, dispatch angels to war in our behalf.

766
00:53:01.540 --> 00:53:06.180
Lord, when we don't know what to do, God, and we know that we can depend on you.

767
00:53:06.180 --> 00:53:07.180
You are dependable.

768
00:53:07.180 --> 00:53:12.620
Ooh, yes, Lord, where parents have not been dependable.

769
00:53:12.620 --> 00:53:14.740
Maybe employers have not been dependable.

770
00:53:14.740 --> 00:53:19.540
Maybe even we, at times we're not dependable for ourselves, Lord, I thank you that you

771
00:53:19.540 --> 00:53:21.340
would heal those areas.

772
00:53:21.340 --> 00:53:22.340
Yeah.

773
00:53:22.340 --> 00:53:29.260
That you would take us into just truth that you are someone that we can depend on.

774
00:53:29.260 --> 00:53:37.300
Lord, if people have blinders on because of pain, where the enemy has just put things

775
00:53:37.300 --> 00:53:41.820
of not truth into their minds, God, we just thank you that you would just lift those blinders

776
00:53:41.820 --> 00:53:46.900
off of their eyes and their minds tonight, that you would help them to receive an upgrade

777
00:53:46.900 --> 00:53:49.500
in the understanding of you.

778
00:53:49.500 --> 00:53:51.340
I just, I just keep seeing ladies.

779
00:53:51.340 --> 00:53:52.780
He is dependable.

780
00:53:52.780 --> 00:53:57.420
He's dependable.

781
00:53:57.420 --> 00:54:00.140
He's not going to pull the rug out from under your feet.

782
00:54:00.140 --> 00:54:03.100
He's not trying to trick you and deceive you.

783
00:54:03.100 --> 00:54:05.080
Yes, Lord.

784
00:54:05.080 --> 00:54:10.100
Just like a little kid runs to their daddy and I don't know if y'all have ever seen it,

785
00:54:10.100 --> 00:54:15.500
but like when a kid just runs and they just plop on their dad and like, you know, to be

786
00:54:15.500 --> 00:54:17.940
hugged or just cause they're playing or whatever.

787
00:54:17.940 --> 00:54:21.340
And that dad receives them and it's just this really cool picture.

788
00:54:21.340 --> 00:54:23.620
That's what I'm seeing in the spirit.

789
00:54:23.620 --> 00:54:28.620
And so I want to encourage you ladies, just that, you know, to be like that, that we would

790
00:54:28.620 --> 00:54:35.180
run and just be playful with the Lord and know that even in our hurt or excitement or

791
00:54:35.180 --> 00:54:40.300
whatever that looks like, that he is there and he's not going to leave us.

792
00:54:40.300 --> 00:54:41.460
He's not going to forsake us.

793
00:54:41.460 --> 00:54:45.480
He declares it in his word.

794
00:54:45.480 --> 00:54:50.520
So where the enemy still tries to convince us that the Lord has left us, forsaken us,

795
00:54:50.520 --> 00:54:55.240
that he's pulling out when the stakes are high, that's what I just heard too.

796
00:54:55.240 --> 00:54:57.080
That's not true.

797
00:54:57.080 --> 00:54:58.720
That's not true.

798
00:54:58.720 --> 00:54:59.920
He's all in.

799
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:10.400
He's all in even when the stakes are high. He's all in. He's cheering us on. He's celebrating.

800
00:55:10.400 --> 00:55:16.800
The word declares that in Zephaniah, I think it's 317, you know, that he rejoices over us with singing.

801
00:55:17.920 --> 00:55:24.800
He celebrates you, daughter. Yes, Lord, I thank you that you celebrate over us.

802
00:55:24.800 --> 00:55:29.040
Thank you, Lord. Welcome back, ladies.

803
00:55:31.040 --> 00:55:36.240
Zephaniah 317 came up right before y'all came back. If you don't know what that talks about,

804
00:55:36.240 --> 00:55:41.440
it's a scripture that talks about the Lord rejoicing over us with singing and

805
00:55:42.400 --> 00:55:46.640
maybe even dancing. It's been a while since I've read that scripture, and so I just want to give

806
00:55:46.640 --> 00:55:51.680
that to y'all. Actually, I got a couple prophetic words and things, so y'all might want to go back

807
00:55:51.680 --> 00:55:56.480
and listen to the replay at this point just for the few minutes if you don't want to listen to

808
00:55:56.480 --> 00:56:00.080
the whole thing that you were in breakouts because there's some really good stuff.

809
00:56:00.800 --> 00:56:06.000
The spirit of the Lord is sweet in this place tonight. I just hope that you all can sense it

810
00:56:06.880 --> 00:56:14.080
that he loves you and he adores you, and so I hope those words are a blessing to you. Welcome back,

811
00:56:14.080 --> 00:56:19.280
and before I forget your activation for this week, I will post it in the group,

812
00:56:19.280 --> 00:56:25.920
so you will have that there, but it is the Never Will I Ever activation. Never Will I Ever list is

813
00:56:25.920 --> 00:56:29.920
actually what we call it, and if you've already done one of these, you don't have to do it again.

814
00:56:29.920 --> 00:56:34.320
Again, ladies, anybody that's been here and you've heard any of these activations before,

815
00:56:34.320 --> 00:56:39.120
if you've already done them, you don't have to redo them. If you've heard it and you've never done it,

816
00:56:39.840 --> 00:56:45.280
now's your time. Now's your time, but here's what it is. I'm going to give a brief explanation now,

817
00:56:45.280 --> 00:56:48.560
but again, the more detailed explanation will be posted in the group.

818
00:56:50.000 --> 00:57:01.120
Here is the statement. Never will I ever date blank because blank. Never will I ever date blank

819
00:57:01.120 --> 00:57:07.760
because blank, and your goal is to fill in the blanks. Here's the thing. There are a lot of us

820
00:57:07.760 --> 00:57:14.080
that we will have lists, very, very, very long lists of all the people that we won't date,

821
00:57:14.080 --> 00:57:17.520
the things that they, if they have this and this and this and this and this and this and this,

822
00:57:17.520 --> 00:57:22.880
I'm not even going to consider them, and you all, a lot of those things come out of trauma.

823
00:57:23.840 --> 00:57:28.640
They come out of vows that we've made. They come out of us, you know,

824
00:57:30.320 --> 00:57:38.080
not processing things in society, even society standards, family standards. Now, some of them

825
00:57:38.080 --> 00:57:43.920
are just, hey, yeah, smart things, like I'm never going to date an addict. Well,

826
00:57:43.920 --> 00:57:48.880
I hope you don't date an addict. Now, if they're a recovered addict, that's different.

827
00:57:48.880 --> 00:57:55.200
What I'm talking about is someone who's currently abusing alcohol, drugs, or pornography. We would

828
00:57:55.200 --> 00:58:01.440
not recommend that, okay? Maybe you'll say, these are the kind of things I'm saying you don't have

829
00:58:01.440 --> 00:58:07.520
to say to us, okay? Never will I ever date someone who cheats. I hope you won't date someone who's a

830
00:58:07.520 --> 00:58:15.280
cheating person, who that, that is their behavior, or that lies, or, you know, so what I'm looking

831
00:58:15.280 --> 00:58:24.080
for, here's what I am looking for. Never will I ever date, these are some of them that we hear,

832
00:58:24.080 --> 00:58:29.520
a man who's been divorced. We want to know where do you need healing? Where, where do you need

833
00:58:29.520 --> 00:58:35.280
some help to process some things off of your list? What are your God non-negotiables? Like,

834
00:58:35.280 --> 00:58:38.560
never will I ever date a man that doesn't love the Lord. That's a good one.

835
00:58:39.120 --> 00:58:42.480
We want them to have a relationship with the Lord. We don't want you to be

836
00:58:43.040 --> 00:58:48.400
in a relationship where there's no supernatural spiritual DNA. Here's some others. These are

837
00:58:48.400 --> 00:58:53.280
examples that we would encourage you all to release some things to the Lord. Never will I

838
00:58:53.280 --> 00:59:00.160
ever date a man that doesn't have any money. Now, do we want them to have a good job? Yes.

839
00:59:00.160 --> 00:59:07.040
Do we want them to be able to work a job? Yes, but here's the thing. We want them to have money

840
00:59:07.040 --> 00:59:13.440
saved to the best of their ability, but sometimes you all, depending on the story of what that

841
00:59:13.440 --> 00:59:18.160
person has been through, they might have some debt. Now, what you would need to determine in

842
00:59:18.160 --> 00:59:25.120
your healing process, is that something that you feel God is allowing you to take off your list?

843
00:59:25.120 --> 00:59:33.520
For example, Brian fought for custody of his kids for a long time. That was expensive.

844
00:59:35.520 --> 00:59:41.920
So, y'all, there's some debt there. There was some debt. He was paying on it. He was very faithful to

845
00:59:41.920 --> 00:59:46.480
take care of that, but I want you to understand that sometimes we have things on our list that

846
00:59:46.480 --> 00:59:52.640
might count somebody out that actually is really good with money, and they're really good people,

847
00:59:52.640 --> 00:59:55.600
and so I want you to kind of think about those things. Here's some other ones.

848
00:59:55.600 --> 00:59:59.840
Never will I ever date someone I'm not very sexually attracted to.

849
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.520
We have a lot of women that they just want to feel the heat.

850
01:00:04.520 --> 01:00:05.520
Y'all know it.

851
01:00:05.520 --> 01:00:07.680
You know, some of y'all, that's how,

852
01:00:07.680 --> 01:00:09.360
you just want to feel the butterflies

853
01:00:09.360 --> 01:00:11.600
in that intense connection.

854
01:00:11.600 --> 01:00:14.280
That's how we have people describe it to us.

855
01:00:14.280 --> 01:00:16.340
I'm not making fun of that.

856
01:00:16.340 --> 01:00:17.900
I used to feel that way.

857
01:00:19.120 --> 01:00:21.340
But y'all, here's the truth.

858
01:00:21.340 --> 01:00:23.040
That is lust.

859
01:00:25.140 --> 01:00:28.520
That's not healthy connection or attraction.

860
01:00:28.560 --> 01:00:33.520
If you gotta have all the hot feelings,

861
01:00:33.520 --> 01:00:36.680
that's actually a signal that you need some healing there.

862
01:00:36.680 --> 01:00:38.000
All right.

863
01:00:38.000 --> 01:00:40.320
Never will I ever date someone

864
01:00:40.320 --> 01:00:42.760
that is a pastor or in ministry.

865
01:00:42.760 --> 01:00:44.840
And typically, a lot of people that will say that

866
01:00:44.840 --> 01:00:47.080
are people that have been pastor's kids

867
01:00:47.080 --> 01:00:49.080
or people that have been hurt in ministry

868
01:00:49.080 --> 01:00:49.960
or things like that.

869
01:00:49.960 --> 01:00:50.880
Here's some more.

870
01:00:50.880 --> 01:00:52.000
Never will I ever date someone

871
01:00:52.000 --> 01:00:54.220
that's been in the military, police officers.

872
01:00:54.220 --> 01:00:56.800
Never will I ever date someone with the name John

873
01:00:56.880 --> 01:00:59.320
or Larry or Mike.

874
01:00:59.320 --> 01:01:00.360
Why do we do that?

875
01:01:00.360 --> 01:01:02.220
Well, because somebody that we dated

876
01:01:02.220 --> 01:01:04.280
or something that happened to us

877
01:01:05.600 --> 01:01:07.480
was by someone with one of those names.

878
01:01:07.480 --> 01:01:10.540
For example, my oldest brother,

879
01:01:10.540 --> 01:01:14.120
who was my main offender in the sexual abuse,

880
01:01:14.120 --> 01:01:15.800
his name is Brian.

881
01:01:19.880 --> 01:01:21.680
Did y'all make that connection yet?

882
01:01:22.680 --> 01:01:25.560
My husband's name is Brian.

883
01:01:27.360 --> 01:01:30.600
When I first met him, I remember talking to the Lord,

884
01:01:30.600 --> 01:01:32.360
and Brian knows this now,

885
01:01:32.360 --> 01:01:34.440
but I literally was like,

886
01:01:34.440 --> 01:01:39.440
Lord, you couldn't have given him any other name.

887
01:01:39.480 --> 01:01:41.780
Why does his name have to be Brian?

888
01:01:43.600 --> 01:01:45.640
And you know what God said to me?

889
01:01:45.640 --> 01:01:48.420
He said, I wanna redeem the name Brian for you.

890
01:01:50.920 --> 01:01:54.220
So, just putting that out there,

891
01:01:54.220 --> 01:01:57.660
some of you all maybe have passed over really good people

892
01:01:57.660 --> 01:01:59.580
because they have a name that reminds you

893
01:01:59.580 --> 01:02:04.580
of someone who did something hurtful to you or your family.

894
01:02:05.480 --> 01:02:06.820
Okay, here's one more.

895
01:02:06.820 --> 01:02:08.980
Never will I ever date someone of a certain age

896
01:02:08.980 --> 01:02:11.340
because your ex was a certain age,

897
01:02:11.340 --> 01:02:15.620
or you know, and we don't recommend massive gaps, you all.

898
01:02:15.620 --> 01:02:17.400
Okay, we don't want you all being cougars

899
01:02:17.400 --> 01:02:19.660
for the ladies that are older.

900
01:02:19.660 --> 01:02:21.340
You know, we don't encourage men

901
01:02:21.340 --> 01:02:23.180
to go after really young women.

902
01:02:23.180 --> 01:02:24.500
So, same thing on the ladies.

903
01:02:24.500 --> 01:02:27.300
We have some ladies that, I mean, that's their goal,

904
01:02:27.300 --> 01:02:29.500
and so we don't recommend that, all right?

905
01:02:29.500 --> 01:02:32.740
Okay, so I'm gonna open it up for coaching here in a minute,

906
01:02:32.740 --> 01:02:36.300
but go ahead and do those lists, post them in the group.

907
01:02:36.300 --> 01:02:37.300
Don't get nervous.

908
01:02:37.300 --> 01:02:40.060
We want you to be honest, okay?

909
01:02:40.060 --> 01:02:42.900
Honesty is what's gonna help us know how to coach you

910
01:02:42.900 --> 01:02:44.260
and help you get more breakthrough,

911
01:02:44.260 --> 01:02:45.460
because some of you all don't even know

912
01:02:45.460 --> 01:02:47.660
what your blind spots are,

913
01:02:47.660 --> 01:02:48.840
and these are gonna be things

914
01:02:48.840 --> 01:02:51.400
that are gonna reveal some of that for you.

915
01:02:51.400 --> 01:02:53.880
All right, so I saw Glenna's hand go up.

916
01:02:53.880 --> 01:02:55.540
I see a couple of people up already.

917
01:02:55.540 --> 01:02:58.560
So Glenna, I saw yours go first, so go ahead.

918
01:02:58.560 --> 01:03:00.040
Okay, well, first of all,

919
01:03:00.040 --> 01:03:03.280
I wanna thank you for everything that you've said so far.

920
01:03:03.280 --> 01:03:05.000
It was- Oh, my pleasure.

921
01:03:05.000 --> 01:03:07.240
It was a good word in due season,

922
01:03:07.240 --> 01:03:08.440
and just to encourage me,

923
01:03:08.440 --> 01:03:10.320
because I've been on here a while,

924
01:03:10.320 --> 01:03:12.800
and I'm almost ready to go to phase two,

925
01:03:12.800 --> 01:03:17.200
but so I guess the broken promise for me

926
01:03:17.200 --> 01:03:20.040
was as a child, after my parents got divorced,

927
01:03:20.040 --> 01:03:23.760
of my dad would say he was coming to get me,

928
01:03:23.760 --> 01:03:25.240
to visit me, and he didn't show up,

929
01:03:25.240 --> 01:03:28.760
and I'd sit on the porch for hours

930
01:03:28.760 --> 01:03:30.240
on Saturday morning waiting,

931
01:03:30.240 --> 01:03:32.040
and sometimes when he did come,

932
01:03:32.040 --> 01:03:33.840
my mom was mad at him

933
01:03:33.840 --> 01:03:35.340
because he didn't pay the child support,

934
01:03:35.340 --> 01:03:36.920
so they would get in a big argument,

935
01:03:36.920 --> 01:03:40.720
and then he would get in his car and take off

936
01:03:40.720 --> 01:03:42.600
and not take me.

937
01:03:42.600 --> 01:03:45.000
So, but you know what?

938
01:03:45.000 --> 01:03:49.640
God redeemed that relationship right before he passed away,

939
01:03:49.640 --> 01:03:50.800
about three years,

940
01:03:50.800 --> 01:03:54.920
and I actually was able to lead him to the Lord,

941
01:03:54.920 --> 01:03:56.600
so that was good,

942
01:03:56.600 --> 01:03:58.920
but you know, all those years,

943
01:03:58.920 --> 01:04:01.520
you know, I have struggled just,

944
01:04:02.400 --> 01:04:04.580
you know, really,

945
01:04:04.580 --> 01:04:06.680
well, I really state the word

946
01:04:06.680 --> 01:04:10.840
and how much God, my father, loves me, you know?

947
01:04:10.840 --> 01:04:14.120
So, yeah, so that's,

948
01:04:14.120 --> 01:04:17.800
that was the broken promise there, you know?

949
01:04:17.800 --> 01:04:22.800
So, I think I still have a little bit of,

950
01:04:24.160 --> 01:04:27.240
I guess, fear of stepping out and going on dates

951
01:04:27.240 --> 01:04:29.500
because I don't like rejection,

952
01:04:29.500 --> 01:04:31.120
that it's that fear of rejection,

953
01:04:31.120 --> 01:04:34.480
so I have to work on it all the time, you know,

954
01:04:34.480 --> 01:04:37.200
and say a lot of,

955
01:04:39.080 --> 01:04:40.120
you know, a lot of things,

956
01:04:40.120 --> 01:04:41.240
like every day say,

957
01:04:41.240 --> 01:04:44.280
I'm chosen, I am forgiven,

958
01:04:44.280 --> 01:04:47.040
I'm favored, I'm anointed,

959
01:04:47.040 --> 01:04:50.480
I am God's, I am the daughter of the most high God,

960
01:04:50.480 --> 01:04:54.640
I, you know, constantly have to reconfirm that, so.

961
01:04:54.640 --> 01:04:56.640
Yeah, and keep in mind, ladies,

962
01:04:56.640 --> 01:04:57.720
this is really important,

963
01:04:57.720 --> 01:05:00.360
sometimes what we consider a rejection.

964
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.540
action is actually redirection. It's us being God defended, God

965
01:05:06.540 --> 01:05:10.080
defended and God redirecting us to that the person, you know,

966
01:05:10.080 --> 01:05:13.920
one step closer towards the Spirit made he has for us. And

967
01:05:13.920 --> 01:05:18.240
so it's interesting, I figured on the fear, like fears regarding

968
01:05:18.240 --> 01:05:20.280
rejection, because I know you and I've chatted about that a

969
01:05:20.280 --> 01:05:25.160
little bit more. But I also was going to just say to you, and

970
01:05:25.160 --> 01:05:28.420
really ask you, do you ever have because of this thing with your

971
01:05:28.420 --> 01:05:31.180
dad, and I know you mentioned that, I think before, but I feel

972
01:05:31.180 --> 01:05:34.180
like something came up in my spirit a little bit differently

973
01:05:34.180 --> 01:05:39.640
tonight. Do you ever struggle with even friends like that say

974
01:05:39.640 --> 01:05:42.700
they're going to do something and then like, they don't follow

975
01:05:42.700 --> 01:05:47.580
through or other people like if they're like late to pick you

976
01:05:47.580 --> 01:05:49.860
up? Do you? Does that ever trigger you?

977
01:05:50.340 --> 01:05:55.800
Yes, it does. And I have to talk myself, you know, when it

978
01:05:55.800 --> 01:05:59.000
triggers me, I have to say, No, they love me, they care about

979
01:05:59.000 --> 01:06:02.960
me, they've invested time in me, I've invested time in them. This

980
01:06:02.960 --> 01:06:06.880
is just a one off, I have to talk to myself.

981
01:06:07.440 --> 01:06:12.000
Okay. All right. So keep doing that. Because it's gonna, it's

982
01:06:12.000 --> 01:06:15.100
gonna continue to help you come out of that more and more. But

983
01:06:15.100 --> 01:06:18.640
you want to continue to get to even though it is this stuff

984
01:06:18.640 --> 01:06:21.160
with your dad, let's just make sure there's nothing else. And

985
01:06:21.160 --> 01:06:24.280
you don't have to wait to move forward. But like, even as you

986
01:06:24.280 --> 01:06:27.120
keep moving forward, let's make sure there's not any other like

987
01:06:27.120 --> 01:06:32.840
residual, if you will, effects from you know, dad not coming to

988
01:06:32.840 --> 01:06:36.440
get you or leaving and not taking you or if there's any

989
01:06:36.440 --> 01:06:40.280
other things even before that, that you know, the again, the

990
01:06:40.280 --> 01:06:44.120
Lord knows what needs healed. And so if there is any kind of

991
01:06:44.120 --> 01:06:47.280
what I what I keep hearing is like residual, if you will, from

992
01:06:47.280 --> 01:06:51.800
that, yeah, you'll that too, because you don't, you know, you

993
01:06:51.800 --> 01:06:55.240
don't want to constantly always struggle every time like

994
01:06:55.240 --> 01:07:00.440
something doesn't go the way it was supposed to go. Um, but even

995
01:07:00.440 --> 01:07:04.320
in relationship, you know, Jackie talks about this a lot,

996
01:07:04.520 --> 01:07:07.600
hurt and community healed and community hurt and relationship

997
01:07:07.640 --> 01:07:12.040
healed in relationship. There are some things that I healed

998
01:07:12.080 --> 01:07:16.200
after I got into relationship with Brian, like even still now

999
01:07:16.200 --> 01:07:18.840
I think I've told you guys that, you know, we're almost four

1000
01:07:18.840 --> 01:07:21.240
years into marriage, and there's things that are still

1001
01:07:21.240 --> 01:07:25.840
healing in me from things I've been through before. The more

1002
01:07:25.840 --> 01:07:29.320
that Brian shows me he's trustworthy, the more that he's

1003
01:07:29.320 --> 01:07:33.760
loving, or the more that like, you know, I was always afraid of

1004
01:07:33.760 --> 01:07:37.080
arguing in my house, because people hit each other in my

1005
01:07:37.080 --> 01:07:39.720
house. And I was the peacemaker. And I was always trying to, you

1006
01:07:39.720 --> 01:07:44.760
know, keep them from fighting. And so even if Brian and I have

1007
01:07:44.760 --> 01:07:49.040
a little argument, sometimes I go into like, you know, we're

1008
01:07:49.040 --> 01:07:52.680
not okay, like in all these things. And and that's not

1009
01:07:52.680 --> 01:07:57.080
what's real. That's not real. It's just that I have to kind of

1010
01:07:57.280 --> 01:08:02.680
slow the roll of my triggered fleshly thoughts, and really

1011
01:08:02.680 --> 01:08:05.680
partner with Okay, Lord, what are you saying?

1012
01:08:07.200 --> 01:08:11.160
Yeah, I do notice that when I am, like at a really busy

1013
01:08:11.160 --> 01:08:15.000
weekend, and today at work was just a struggle with a lot of

1014
01:08:15.000 --> 01:08:18.359
different things. Because one of the things I'm in a very male

1015
01:08:18.359 --> 01:08:23.560
dominated industry, I own a home building business. And, you

1016
01:08:23.560 --> 01:08:29.000
know, and I'm constantly meeting with older men that are kind of

1017
01:08:29.000 --> 01:08:35.000
set in their ways. And sometimes I feel like, oh, you know,

1018
01:08:35.399 --> 01:08:39.319
they're not going to choose me because I'm a female, you know,

1019
01:08:39.560 --> 01:08:43.520
and, and this program has really helped me. I've come a long way,

1020
01:08:43.520 --> 01:08:45.760
but I still have a way to travel.

1021
01:08:46.200 --> 01:08:50.880
Yeah, we all do. We all do really. And so just keep going.

1022
01:08:50.880 --> 01:08:53.479
Keep putting one foot in front of the other, you're doing

1023
01:08:53.479 --> 01:08:56.920
great. And I love what you shared. And I mean, you even

1024
01:08:56.920 --> 01:09:00.920
just as you were explaining, had a lot of awareness and a lot I

1025
01:09:00.920 --> 01:09:03.560
could just sense a lot of growth in this. So Glenna, just keep

1026
01:09:03.560 --> 01:09:05.880
going. You're doing a great job.

1027
01:09:06.120 --> 01:09:09.720
Well, thank you to you and Jackie and Candy and everybody.

1028
01:09:09.720 --> 01:09:14.399
It's just, yeah, it's, it's a great program. So thank you so

1029
01:09:14.399 --> 01:09:18.479
much. We're so glad. Yep. What the lady that gave me my book,

1030
01:09:18.479 --> 01:09:21.600
she got married a year ago, she just celebrated her one year

1031
01:09:21.600 --> 01:09:26.399
anniversary. And Beth is her name. And she's so happy. And,

1032
01:09:26.720 --> 01:09:30.760
and, and that was got a place in my heart about getting married

1033
01:09:30.760 --> 01:09:34.040
again. I thought that's silly. And I came into my office and

1034
01:09:34.040 --> 01:09:36.760
the book was laying on my desk with a little note that said

1035
01:09:36.760 --> 01:09:40.600
from Beth, come and talk to me because her office is upstairs.

1036
01:09:40.600 --> 01:09:43.840
And yeah, so it's been great. Thank you.

1037
01:09:44.120 --> 01:09:47.840
You're welcome. Thank you for sharing. Catherine, go ahead.

1038
01:09:52.240 --> 01:09:57.760
Mine was, um, I mean, it, it still even affects me, even

1039
01:09:57.760 --> 01:09:59.360
when I'm just like listening to a sermon.

1040
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.100
because mine is my one and only marriage

1041
01:10:04.100 --> 01:10:06.480
that failed and ended in divorce

1042
01:10:06.480 --> 01:10:11.100
because my ex obviously broke his marriage vows.

1043
01:10:11.980 --> 01:10:14.420
And yes, there was adultery involved.

1044
01:10:14.420 --> 01:10:16.300
He cheated on me.

1045
01:10:16.300 --> 01:10:21.300
So I was not expecting on Palm Sunday to walk in.

1046
01:10:23.060 --> 01:10:25.220
Looking back on it, I wish I could have been with my dad.

1047
01:10:25.220 --> 01:10:29.420
He was subbing two more sermons for Palm Sunday and Easter.

1048
01:10:29.440 --> 01:10:30.880
But I understand the reasoning.

1049
01:10:30.880 --> 01:10:32.400
I'm gonna join him on the 12th

1050
01:10:32.400 --> 01:10:35.500
when we have our own family church now.

1051
01:10:37.340 --> 01:10:39.000
But definitely was wishing I was with him

1052
01:10:39.000 --> 01:10:40.560
when this whole thing went down

1053
01:10:40.560 --> 01:10:42.980
because I've heard this preached before

1054
01:10:42.980 --> 01:10:46.340
from the Sermon on the Mount about divorce and adultery,

1055
01:10:46.340 --> 01:10:49.760
but it just felt like not like this.

1056
01:10:49.760 --> 01:10:50.840
Not like this.

1057
01:10:50.840 --> 01:10:53.520
I really felt horrible about myself.

1058
01:10:53.520 --> 01:10:55.760
It really just triggered me.

1059
01:10:55.760 --> 01:10:59.200
It really just, I guess, however way it was presented.

1060
01:10:59.540 --> 01:11:01.900
I certainly feel like a lot of it was like Satan

1061
01:11:01.900 --> 01:11:04.480
coming through and throwing things at me.

1062
01:11:06.900 --> 01:11:08.140
There was also the piece too

1063
01:11:08.140 --> 01:11:11.140
that I know the pastor at the beginning said,

1064
01:11:11.140 --> 01:11:12.940
I've never been through a divorce.

1065
01:11:12.940 --> 01:11:14.940
And I know I kind of was like mouthing to myself,

1066
01:11:14.940 --> 01:11:15.940
you don't want to.

1067
01:11:16.800 --> 01:11:20.340
And then towards the end, he said,

1068
01:11:20.340 --> 01:11:22.300
and to all of you who are still married,

1069
01:11:22.300 --> 01:11:24.400
thank you for staying married.

1070
01:11:24.400 --> 01:11:26.800
That's when I lost it towards the end.

1071
01:11:26.800 --> 01:11:30.860
I was crying hysterically on a sister in Christ's shoulders.

1072
01:11:30.860 --> 01:11:33.740
I was constantly, I want my dad.

1073
01:11:33.740 --> 01:11:37.780
I want my dad, like I want him to be my pastor.

1074
01:11:37.780 --> 01:11:39.020
Like it was all coming out.

1075
01:11:39.020 --> 01:11:41.920
I mean, I already knew it was a done deal.

1076
01:11:41.920 --> 01:11:43.540
The church was being given to my dad.

1077
01:11:43.540 --> 01:11:44.660
He got the job.

1078
01:11:44.660 --> 01:11:46.460
I was gonna be under him.

1079
01:11:46.460 --> 01:11:50.980
I was gonna be doing children's and youth ministry with him.

1080
01:11:50.980 --> 01:11:52.260
It all came out.

1081
01:11:52.260 --> 01:11:56.300
But just the way I went to that church on a Sunday

1082
01:11:56.880 --> 01:11:57.720
for the last time,

1083
01:11:57.720 --> 01:11:59.520
because I knew it was gonna be on Long Island for Easter,

1084
01:12:01.080 --> 01:12:02.960
that was not the way I wanted it to go down.

1085
01:12:02.960 --> 01:12:06.600
And it just really brought me to a whole other level.

1086
01:12:06.600 --> 01:12:08.120
Well, I'm really sorry that happened.

1087
01:12:08.120 --> 01:12:12.920
I will say, I think, I really want to encourage you

1088
01:12:12.920 --> 01:12:15.120
because I know that it can be tough,

1089
01:12:15.120 --> 01:12:17.120
that that was not what you wanted

1090
01:12:17.120 --> 01:12:20.840
and that that's what happened in your life.

1091
01:12:20.840 --> 01:12:25.360
And it can come to the place though, Catherine,

1092
01:12:25.380 --> 01:12:30.060
where I noticed that most of your comments

1093
01:12:30.060 --> 01:12:33.700
center around that happening to you, okay?

1094
01:12:33.700 --> 01:12:35.820
Like even in live chats,

1095
01:12:35.820 --> 01:12:37.820
like, and I know it can be tough

1096
01:12:37.820 --> 01:12:39.980
to not be upset about that still.

1097
01:12:39.980 --> 01:12:42.360
I'm not asking you to not care,

1098
01:12:42.360 --> 01:12:45.300
but I feel like it's just coming to a point

1099
01:12:45.300 --> 01:12:47.780
where I really want to encourage you

1100
01:12:47.780 --> 01:12:50.720
to resolve this within yourself.

1101
01:12:50.720 --> 01:12:52.900
This doesn't define you.

1102
01:12:52.900 --> 01:12:55.100
Divorce does not define you.

1103
01:12:55.840 --> 01:12:58.200
No matter what, how the enemy wants to spin

1104
01:12:58.200 --> 01:13:00.400
what someone is saying, whether from the pulpit

1105
01:13:00.400 --> 01:13:03.060
or even in a one-on-one conversation,

1106
01:13:05.400 --> 01:13:09.400
that you would not feel like you're less than

1107
01:13:09.400 --> 01:13:12.500
because you've now been divorced.

1108
01:13:13.520 --> 01:13:16.720
What happened in your marriage is unfortunate,

1109
01:13:16.720 --> 01:13:18.560
but what can happen in the future

1110
01:13:18.560 --> 01:13:22.600
is you can learn how to marry someone super healthy.

1111
01:13:22.600 --> 01:13:24.480
You can be healthy, they can be healthy.

1112
01:13:24.820 --> 01:13:26.980
You can build a strong marriage together.

1113
01:13:26.980 --> 01:13:29.940
You can allow your story to be rewritten.

1114
01:13:29.940 --> 01:13:32.100
Is it the story you would have chosen?

1115
01:13:32.100 --> 01:13:32.980
Maybe not.

1116
01:13:32.980 --> 01:13:35.400
I wouldn't have chosen to go through a divorce either,

1117
01:13:35.400 --> 01:13:37.060
but I did choose divorce

1118
01:13:37.060 --> 01:13:39.860
because of the abusive environment I was in.

1119
01:13:39.860 --> 01:13:42.700
And people, you know, I've met people before

1120
01:13:42.700 --> 01:13:45.380
where they will ask, well, did they cheat on you?

1121
01:13:45.380 --> 01:13:48.020
Well, no, he didn't officially.

1122
01:13:48.020 --> 01:13:49.580
I didn't catch him,

1123
01:13:49.580 --> 01:13:51.740
but there were nights he didn't come home at all.

1124
01:13:51.740 --> 01:13:55.280
But I don't have to defend myself to people.

1125
01:13:55.280 --> 01:13:58.120
And so that's why I want to say that to you.

1126
01:13:58.120 --> 01:14:00.000
Back in the day, I used to feel like

1127
01:14:00.000 --> 01:14:01.780
I had to defend myself all the time,

1128
01:14:01.780 --> 01:14:06.200
or I had to tell people why I was divorced.

1129
01:14:06.200 --> 01:14:09.040
And I don't think that God requires that of us.

1130
01:14:09.040 --> 01:14:10.160
And so I want to encourage you

1131
01:14:10.160 --> 01:14:15.160
to just really work on releasing that.

1132
01:14:15.280 --> 01:14:17.880
You can't go back and change that, okay?

1133
01:14:17.880 --> 01:14:20.620
That is, it's done, it's happened.

1134
01:14:20.620 --> 01:14:23.880
But what you can change is what's going forward.

1135
01:14:23.880 --> 01:14:27.860
And you can step further into everything God has for you.

1136
01:14:29.280 --> 01:14:31.080
You know, sometimes, unfortunately,

1137
01:14:31.080 --> 01:14:33.440
even the best people say stuff

1138
01:14:33.440 --> 01:14:35.480
that just isn't healthy or good.

1139
01:14:36.440 --> 01:14:40.000
And so I want to encourage you to forgive the pastor

1140
01:14:40.000 --> 01:14:42.360
for what he said that was hurtful.

1141
01:14:42.360 --> 01:14:45.880
And just keep, yeah, just keep moving forward.

1142
01:14:45.880 --> 01:14:48.440
You're here, you're doing the work.

1143
01:14:48.440 --> 01:14:50.260
You know, good things can continue to happen,

1144
01:14:50.900 --> 01:14:54.920
but I do feel like you really releasing your ex

1145
01:14:54.920 --> 01:14:58.080
and releasing kind of the, almost what I hear in my spirit,

1146
01:14:58.080 --> 01:15:00.180
it's almost like you've kind of partnered.

1147
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.960
with an indictment on your life because of this.

1148
01:15:04.960 --> 01:15:09.040
And that word specifically, indictment. And you know an indictment is like when

1149
01:15:09.040 --> 01:15:11.760
they make a, like in the court, like people are

1150
01:15:11.760 --> 01:15:18.640
indicted in the court systems. And that's not how God views you.

1151
01:15:18.880 --> 01:15:23.920
All right? So keep stepping forward, keep doing the work, because it's going to

1152
01:15:23.920 --> 01:15:28.640
end up working for you. God's got you and he's going to help you

1153
01:15:28.640 --> 01:15:32.080
step out of, you know, feeling like you're less than

1154
01:15:32.080 --> 01:15:35.920
because of all this. He'll help you.

1155
01:15:37.280 --> 01:15:40.800
I definitely needed to hear that and I've even felt God say

1156
01:15:40.800 --> 01:15:45.680
because I do make it, make me feel like I'm less than.

1157
01:15:45.680 --> 01:15:50.880
But then God has literally pointed out you to me,

1158
01:15:50.880 --> 01:15:58.080
Jackie, there's my dad, I know there's my mom,

1159
01:15:58.080 --> 01:16:01.920
you all have been through a divorce. But I see you guys as

1160
01:16:01.920 --> 01:16:06.880
overcomers, amazing, strong in Christ. And I feel like God was highlighting all

1161
01:16:06.880 --> 01:16:12.400
of you for a reason. Well, that's me too.

1162
01:16:12.400 --> 01:16:16.400
And I shouldn't talk to myself or think to myself any less,

1163
01:16:16.400 --> 01:16:19.440
just like I don't think of any of you guys as less. So

1164
01:16:19.440 --> 01:16:22.880
and I also think being under my dad's pastorship is

1165
01:16:22.880 --> 01:16:26.880
definitely, definitely going to help. And as for the going forward,

1166
01:16:26.880 --> 01:16:30.560
I think my dad and I can both agree, well, we at least don't want me going

1167
01:16:30.560 --> 01:16:33.760
through a second divorce. But that's why I'm here and that one I

1168
01:16:33.760 --> 01:16:39.120
can control. But that's why I'm here. Yes, well, we do our best. We, you know,

1169
01:16:39.120 --> 01:16:44.960
obviously, we can't control other people. Okay, so of course the goal would be to

1170
01:16:44.960 --> 01:16:48.160
have a healthy marriage and not go through divorce again. But

1171
01:16:48.160 --> 01:16:51.840
just really surrendering all of the process of your life to him.

1172
01:16:51.840 --> 01:16:55.360
I do want to remind you too, it probably would be good for you to go back and

1173
01:16:55.360 --> 01:16:59.440
re-listen to the divorce and remarriage session if you've already listened to it.

1174
01:16:59.440 --> 01:17:03.280
Just to kind of cleanse yourself from any kind of ick or anything that might

1175
01:17:03.280 --> 01:17:06.800
still be on you from hearing some of that stuff from Sunday.

1176
01:17:06.800 --> 01:17:13.520
All right, awesome. Thank you so much for sharing. Appreciate you. Wendy, go ahead.

1177
01:17:17.840 --> 01:17:20.720
Oh, you're muted.

1178
01:17:21.440 --> 01:17:27.920
I guess I've not kept promises to myself.

1179
01:17:27.920 --> 01:17:32.240
That just came in my spirit. You know, I always talk about my sister and my

1180
01:17:32.240 --> 01:17:35.120
dad and my mom not keeping their promises.

1181
01:17:35.120 --> 01:17:39.440
But I need to make more of my promises to myself.

1182
01:17:39.440 --> 01:17:43.600
I love it. I love that for you. I love that for everyone.

1183
01:17:43.600 --> 01:17:48.960
100%. We tend to break promises all the time to ourselves.

1184
01:17:48.960 --> 01:17:52.240
Even people don't realize, like if we say,

1185
01:17:52.240 --> 01:17:56.560
and I do this sometimes still, and I still am working on this because

1186
01:17:56.560 --> 01:18:00.560
the little things add up to bigger things. So

1187
01:18:00.560 --> 01:18:05.280
if we say we're going to go work out and then we don't do it.

1188
01:18:05.280 --> 01:18:08.640
And we keep doing that where we say, I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it,

1189
01:18:08.640 --> 01:18:12.720
and then we don't. Or maybe it's something different. Maybe

1190
01:18:12.720 --> 01:18:16.400
it's I'm going to start eating healthy and then we just keep

1191
01:18:16.400 --> 01:18:20.320
not eating healthy. Like those are breaking small promises to ourselves

1192
01:18:20.320 --> 01:18:23.440
when we do them. And so the more that we break the small

1193
01:18:23.440 --> 01:18:26.960
promises to ourselves, the easier it is to break the big

1194
01:18:26.960 --> 01:18:30.880
promises to ourselves. And so is there anything in particular

1195
01:18:30.880 --> 01:18:33.760
recently where that comes to mind where you broke a

1196
01:18:33.760 --> 01:18:36.640
promise to yourself?

1197
01:18:37.760 --> 01:18:41.360
Oh, like in the working out and the eating right.

1198
01:18:41.360 --> 01:18:45.440
Okay. Well, so what I would encourage you to do

1199
01:18:45.520 --> 01:18:48.640
is ask the Lord, you know, what are some things.

1200
01:18:48.640 --> 01:18:51.680
And try not to do too many at once because that's where we kind of

1201
01:18:51.680 --> 01:18:55.920
shoot ourselves in the foot a little bit as we try to take on too many changes at

1202
01:18:55.920 --> 01:19:00.480
one time. But I would encourage you to to really pray about what's one thing

1203
01:19:00.480 --> 01:19:05.040
that God wants you to work on. And then kind of keep short

1204
01:19:05.040 --> 01:19:09.680
accounts with yourself. So give yourself a short goal and then

1205
01:19:09.680 --> 01:19:13.920
follow through on that. And then make another little short goal

1206
01:19:13.920 --> 01:19:17.120
and follow through on that. So maybe it's, you know,

1207
01:19:17.120 --> 01:19:21.520
what I've been doing is I've been walking two to three days a week

1208
01:19:21.520 --> 01:19:27.600
just to start getting myself back into the flow of adding exercise and working

1209
01:19:27.600 --> 01:19:32.320
out back into my life. And that is helping me gain momentum.

1210
01:19:32.320 --> 01:19:36.240
And then I'm going to start upping it to, you know, more to four to five days.

1211
01:19:36.240 --> 01:19:39.920
I used to walk seven days a week and work out way back.

1212
01:19:39.920 --> 01:19:43.360
And so that's what I'm trying to get back to. But I have to gain momentum

1213
01:19:43.360 --> 01:19:46.080
and then that's what creates myself to get encouraged.

1214
01:19:46.080 --> 01:19:49.600
So we'll be praying for you about that and would love for you to come in and

1215
01:19:49.600 --> 01:19:52.960
tell us how that's going in the group for sure.

1216
01:19:52.960 --> 01:19:55.760
Sure. Thank you for sharing. That was awesome.

1217
01:19:55.760 --> 01:20:00.240
Thanks. Chrissy, go ahead.

1218
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:16.640
Okay. Just what came to mind, I was listening to somebody in my group. For the first time

1219
01:20:16.640 --> 01:20:24.400
this weekend, I kind of had a meltdown and I felt a little betrayed, but it was towards

1220
01:20:24.400 --> 01:20:33.920
God. And then just listening to what she said, breaking my own promises. And I kind of feel

1221
01:20:33.920 --> 01:20:45.000
like that's probably in there too. But I guess the betrayal, I don't even know if that's

1222
01:20:45.000 --> 01:20:51.040
really what it was, but that's, that's how I felt in the moment when I was yelling, getting

1223
01:20:51.040 --> 01:21:06.920
angry. I think I still have a hard time with this, like accepting that that is still a

1224
01:21:06.920 --> 01:21:14.320
thing for me, like getting married. I don't know whether I'll have children or not. And

1225
01:21:14.320 --> 01:21:26.240
I don't know. So, yeah. I've been thinking about that all week, actually.

1226
01:21:28.280 --> 01:21:35.360
So what I hear you saying, a couple things is A, that feeling betrayed by God. So I want to talk

1227
01:21:35.360 --> 01:21:43.880
about that for a sec, but that you still aren't quite sure that God has marriage and potentially

1228
01:21:43.880 --> 01:21:46.080
a family for you. Is that what you're saying?

1229
01:21:46.760 --> 01:21:47.320
Yes.

1230
01:21:47.680 --> 01:21:56.080
Yeah. Okay. So what if you just choose to partner with it tonight, that God has a marriage and

1231
01:21:56.080 --> 01:22:02.400
family for you. And then by choosing to partner with that, that is going to start helping your

1232
01:22:02.400 --> 01:22:04.640
faith to grow in that direction.

1233
01:22:04.640 --> 01:22:11.080
See, okay. This is, this is where you're going to have to make a decision that do you want this or

1234
01:22:11.120 --> 01:22:17.360
not? And if you want it, then God wants you to move towards it. And part of moving towards it is

1235
01:22:17.360 --> 01:22:24.680
to start believing for it. But I want you to look at underlying, why do you think that you struggle

1236
01:22:24.720 --> 01:22:34.640
Because I believed it for so long. That was all I ever wanted. I, there was nothing else I ever, I

1237
01:22:34.640 --> 01:22:39.680
didn't dream of being a CEO. I didn't dream of having a being a ballerina, being a firefighter.

1238
01:22:39.680 --> 01:22:46.600
I didn't, I didn't dream of being a lawyer. I didn't dream of being a lawyer. I didn't dream of

1239
01:22:46.600 --> 01:22:52.960
ever. I didn't dream of being a CEO. I didn't dream of having a being a ballerina, being a

1240
01:22:52.960 --> 01:23:02.200
firefighter. I didn't. None of that. I only ever dreamed of being married and having a family and

1241
01:23:02.200 --> 01:23:05.480
loving them. That's all.

1242
01:23:07.800 --> 01:23:11.280
Would you say it's a fear of being let down?

1243
01:23:12.640 --> 01:23:13.280
Yes.

1244
01:23:14.040 --> 01:23:21.000
Okay. So let's connect it to this feeling betrayed by God. Tell me more about that. What did it make

1245
01:23:21.000 --> 01:23:29.680
you think of? Like, was there a time that came to the surface that like, connected in your spirit to

1246
01:23:29.680 --> 01:23:31.280
how you felt this weekend?

1247
01:23:31.280 --> 01:23:43.000
I think because I think there was two, it was two times, but in one, I don't know how to describe

1248
01:23:43.000 --> 01:23:54.360
that. But, um, I, when I moved back to Orlando at the end of 2009, um, I started having dreams. And

1249
01:23:55.360 --> 01:24:01.440
this one person kept, like, kept coming up in my dreams, kept coming up in my dreams. And

1250
01:24:02.960 --> 01:24:10.080
eventually somebody said more than one, somebody said, Oh, maybe that's the person you're supposed

1251
01:24:10.080 --> 01:24:14.880
to marry. And that's why it keeps coming up. And I was like, no, I don't think that's true. But the

1252
01:24:14.880 --> 01:24:23.520
more I felt like, I was like, Oh, we're very compatible. And I wrapped myself around that. And

1253
01:24:24.120 --> 01:24:37.880
and then he wasn't. And now he's gay and married his husband. Um, and at the same time, there was

1254
01:24:37.880 --> 01:24:45.120
something that happened when I woke up in the middle of the night that I, I don't think I've

1255
01:24:45.120 --> 01:24:51.160
ever shared here. And I don't think I've ever shared it much with anybody. Um, I woke up in the

1256
01:24:51.160 --> 01:24:59.960
middle of the night, I sat up in bed, and somebody handed me a baby. And I still

1257
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:09.600
to this day can remember this baby's face and the way he smelled and the way he sounded.

1258
01:25:09.600 --> 01:25:15.640
And then I knew I was like, Oh, this is mine. So I have to give him a name and I did. And

1259
01:25:15.640 --> 01:25:23.600
then I was handed another baby and I can remember her too, but I didn't give her a name. And

1260
01:25:23.600 --> 01:25:29.760
then I just, after everything crumbled and I felt like it was like ripped out of me because

1261
01:25:29.760 --> 01:25:41.320
I had attached myself so closely, I don't allow myself to even think about it. So I

1262
01:25:41.320 --> 01:25:52.760
want to be hopeful, but at the same time, I am guarding myself from being hurt again.

1263
01:25:53.360 --> 01:26:00.480
Um, so let me ask you this. Have you forgiven yourself for getting really wrapped up about

1264
01:26:00.480 --> 01:26:01.160
this guy?

1265
01:26:04.680 --> 01:26:12.360
Think you probably should. Here's a couple things to, um, not that the people necessarily

1266
01:26:12.360 --> 01:26:17.560
did something wrong by encouraging you or saying something to you like, do you think

1267
01:26:17.560 --> 01:26:26.080
he's your husband? I don't think people have bad intentions, right? But I think because

1268
01:26:26.120 --> 01:26:30.320
on some level, I hear you saying you felt betrayed by God. And when I asked you, okay,

1269
01:26:30.320 --> 01:26:36.200
what is that linked to? This was where it led you. And so on some level, I feel like,

1270
01:26:37.440 --> 01:26:42.880
you know, it's almost like you believe God betrayed you by giving you the dreams. And

1271
01:26:42.880 --> 01:26:48.640
because these people were then sent to say, do you think that this is, this might be maybe

1272
01:26:48.640 --> 01:26:52.680
who you're going to marry, you know, so forgiving those people, even though God didn't do

1273
01:26:52.680 --> 01:26:57.800
anything wrong, either forgiving God, you know, forgiving yourself regarding this whole

1274
01:26:57.800 --> 01:27:07.040
dream where it started, that whole thing. And, um, and then allowing yourself, you know,

1275
01:27:07.040 --> 01:27:12.080
because it subconsciously happens, we don't mean to get wrapped up in people. When I first

1276
01:27:12.080 --> 01:27:16.560
started dating, even though I was awake, okay, I was awake when this happened. When I first

1277
01:27:16.560 --> 01:27:28.160
started dating the girl's dad. Um, I remember the first time he drove me to see his house. I

1278
01:27:28.160 --> 01:27:33.680
got so excited because he had a house. Because I hadn't dated someone before that had a

1279
01:27:33.680 --> 01:27:38.520
house. And his house actually looked nice on the outside. And so then in my mind, I

1280
01:27:38.520 --> 01:27:47.000
started exaggerating and fantasizing, if you will, about how my life would be with him. And

1281
01:27:47.000 --> 01:27:51.080
how we would have the family. And especially once I met his daughters, then it was all

1282
01:27:51.080 --> 01:27:55.400
over. Because all I could think about was how we were going to be this family. And I

1283
01:27:55.400 --> 01:28:01.040
imagined all these trips we would go on and, and my mind just went, like, ran away with

1284
01:28:01.040 --> 01:28:10.000
me. Um, you know, the side of my street that I had to own is I was spending a lot of time

1285
01:28:10.040 --> 01:28:17.800
allowing my mind to go in all those directions. Instead of really working on controlling my

1286
01:28:17.800 --> 01:28:25.320
mind, and you know, having self control and what I was thinking about. And so forgiving

1287
01:28:25.320 --> 01:28:31.560
myself for that stuff. Because the reality of it is that when the red flags were presenting

1288
01:28:31.560 --> 01:28:41.040
themselves, I was so caught up in the fantasy that I blew past the red flags. And that

1289
01:28:41.040 --> 01:28:50.960
fantasy never came to fruition. But I just kept going for six years. That's still crazy

1290
01:28:50.960 --> 01:28:56.720
to me to say it out loud. But I believed that the guy that showed himself in the first

1291
01:28:56.720 --> 01:29:02.800
two weeks was somebody that was real. He was a real person, but he was not being a real

1292
01:29:02.800 --> 01:29:09.720
person. He was being somewhat imposter. He was acting in a way that was not really who

1293
01:29:09.720 --> 01:29:18.240
he was. So this guy may also have been doing that on some level. I don't know what all

1294
01:29:18.240 --> 01:29:23.360
led you to kind of get real caught up in that. But I will say this. Here's another

1295
01:29:23.360 --> 01:29:28.520
thing that I think will help you in the days to come. Sometimes we will have dreams with

1296
01:29:28.520 --> 01:29:35.320
certain people in them because of certain characteristics that they have. And it doesn't

1297
01:29:35.320 --> 01:29:41.080
necessarily mean we're going to marry those people. But we may marry someone that has

1298
01:29:41.080 --> 01:29:48.280
those kind of characteristics because we like those things about those people. And

1299
01:29:48.280 --> 01:29:56.720
sometimes, here's the other side of it, sometimes the enemy will insert people into our dreams.

1300
01:29:56.720 --> 01:29:59.960
And so it's really important for us to pray about why

1301
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.700
someone is showing up in our dreams and let God show us why they are in our

1302
01:30:04.700 --> 01:30:11.580
dreams. Okay and so that's hopefully will be helpful for you but I think in order

1303
01:30:11.580 --> 01:30:16.820
for your hope to grow Chrissy regarding being married and having a family I

1304
01:30:16.820 --> 01:30:22.420
think forgiving yourself for getting wrapped up in that and just seeing where

1305
01:30:22.420 --> 01:30:27.900
else kind of that will lead you I think that'll be a really good first step but

1306
01:30:27.900 --> 01:30:39.240
also um you know that dream about the babies it doesn't mean that it's not

1307
01:30:39.240 --> 01:30:44.380
true God can give you babies all kinds of ways

1308
01:30:46.260 --> 01:30:53.460
okay it doesn't always mean it's a bio baby maybe it will be but it could come

1309
01:30:53.460 --> 01:30:59.500
a different way and so there's a saying is scarce do I hope something I forget

1310
01:30:59.500 --> 01:31:05.300
the full saying but some people we don't want to hope because we're so afraid

1311
01:31:05.300 --> 01:31:10.100
that it's just never gonna happen but if you keep partnering with it's never

1312
01:31:10.100 --> 01:31:17.260
gonna happen then it's never gonna happen but if you start to partner with

1313
01:31:17.260 --> 01:31:26.440
God I want to believe help my unbelief just start there and let's see where

1314
01:31:26.440 --> 01:31:31.780
that unfolds for you as well all right but I think forgiving yourself for that

1315
01:31:31.780 --> 01:31:35.260
situation is is a game-changer because you've been here for a little bit and

1316
01:31:35.260 --> 01:31:38.180
you've never talked about that like you said tonight so I feel like that's

1317
01:31:38.180 --> 01:31:45.220
really important revealing for healing yeah you're welcome you're welcome so I

1318
01:31:45.220 --> 01:31:49.900
do have three more ladies I am gonna let them share but if y'all need to log

1319
01:31:49.900 --> 01:31:55.180
off we are at 932 I try to always be kind of true to the time so God bless

1320
01:31:55.180 --> 01:31:59.640
you if you need to hop off but I do want to hear from Tatiana Aylin and Peggy

1321
01:31:59.640 --> 01:32:04.500
and we'll do our best to be short brief and powerful don't feel rushed ladies

1322
01:32:04.500 --> 01:32:09.020
but I just want to let everybody know I probably need to be done no later than

1323
01:32:09.020 --> 01:32:12.780
945 tonight just to kind of keep everybody on the same page all right

1324
01:32:12.780 --> 01:32:26.940
Tatiana go ahead okay hi right hello um okay so this kind of came up as you

1325
01:32:26.940 --> 01:32:34.300
were first talking and then I tried it related to the other question but there

1326
01:32:34.300 --> 01:32:40.900
was a situation ship I had this was I've like talked about one in the group a few

1327
01:32:40.900 --> 01:32:46.460
times and this is not the same guy this one was my freshman year of high school

1328
01:32:46.460 --> 01:32:53.860
and when you said like a promise that was broken I just it's been coming up a

1329
01:32:53.860 --> 01:32:58.780
lot for me lately but when I say like if I tell somebody outside of my family I

1330
01:32:58.780 --> 01:33:06.940
love you like I mean it cuz I never do that like ever ever ever and like I made

1331
01:33:06.980 --> 01:33:13.020
that evident to this guy and I feel like my heart was in a really good place with

1332
01:33:13.020 --> 01:33:19.140
God at the time like it was very tender and it was just a really beautiful time

1333
01:33:19.140 --> 01:33:24.420
for me in my walk with God and I fell head over heels for this guy and he

1334
01:33:24.420 --> 01:33:29.620
ended up telling me like that he loved me and then I kept praying about it and

1335
01:33:29.620 --> 01:33:33.060
it was kind of a similar thing to what the last person was sharing like

1336
01:33:33.060 --> 01:33:38.100
somebody told me like oh you guys are gonna get married and so I was like oh

1337
01:33:38.100 --> 01:33:44.940
like I was in love and and then yeah God was just like girl no no no like over

1338
01:33:44.940 --> 01:33:50.900
and over and so it didn't work out and yet when he left me even though like I

1339
01:33:50.900 --> 01:33:56.340
knew it wasn't for me like when he left it hurt so bad and I just felt a lot of

1340
01:33:56.340 --> 01:34:02.580
rejection and that is kind of just the main thing that came up for me today and

1341
01:34:02.580 --> 01:34:08.340
oh I had a dream about him the other night like two nights ago and I was like

1342
01:34:08.340 --> 01:34:14.100
what the heck cuz like I don't even be thinking about him like that but one

1343
01:34:14.100 --> 01:34:18.100
thing that has been on my heart is like he's the first person that I ever feel

1344
01:34:18.100 --> 01:34:27.340
like I did love and he like felt like my first heartbreak and recently he's

1345
01:34:27.340 --> 01:34:32.020
he's not doing good he's been getting in a lot of trouble with the police and I

1346
01:34:32.020 --> 01:34:36.700
don't know what he did last time but my friend she was like that it was really

1347
01:34:36.700 --> 01:34:42.540
bad and she didn't even want to tell me and I hate that I still care and I hate

1348
01:34:42.540 --> 01:34:50.060
that it still makes me upset and I just want to like fully let that go yeah well

1349
01:34:50.060 --> 01:34:54.340
I will say this I think the reason you had a dream about him two nights ago is

1350
01:34:54.340 --> 01:34:58.900
because God was stirring this this up in your heart in your life so that you could

1351
01:34:58.900 --> 01:35:02.140
heal a little

1352
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.120
bit more from it. Um, and then you're feeling led to talk about

1353
01:35:04.120 --> 01:35:06.560
it tonight, which I think is really good so that you can kind

1354
01:35:06.560 --> 01:35:11.680
of process it out and release that and let it go. And, you

1355
01:35:11.680 --> 01:35:15.480
know, just as a reminder, ladies, soul ties aren't just

1356
01:35:15.480 --> 01:35:20.920
sexual, okay, soul ties are can be emotional soul ties that we

1357
01:35:21.360 --> 01:35:25.840
connect with people. And, you know, sometimes it can just come

1358
01:35:25.840 --> 01:35:29.320
like, as you're saying a first love, and you get really like

1359
01:35:29.320 --> 01:35:33.120
connected into, you know, into them. And again, that

1360
01:35:33.120 --> 01:35:37.520
fantasizing about how your life is going to be, even the fantasy

1361
01:35:37.520 --> 01:35:42.160
thinking you all can cause us to create kind of these soul ties

1362
01:35:42.160 --> 01:35:45.880
and these bonds with people that we don't even have to have,

1363
01:35:45.880 --> 01:35:49.240
again, that physical connection to create. And so I would

1364
01:35:49.240 --> 01:35:54.020
encourage you just to, you know, just be in prayer about any any

1365
01:35:54.020 --> 01:35:57.180
connection to him that the Lord might want you if you have

1366
01:35:57.180 --> 01:36:01.740
anything still like, you know, I don't put a lot of weight into

1367
01:36:01.740 --> 01:36:05.060
this stuff. But there are times where I think that when we still

1368
01:36:05.060 --> 01:36:09.240
have things that are connected to those people, you know, some

1369
01:36:09.240 --> 01:36:12.420
people could be a sweatshirt, it could be notes that they gave

1370
01:36:12.420 --> 01:36:16.220
them, or, you know, a teddy bear. And some people still

1371
01:36:16.220 --> 01:36:18.780
sleep with that, you know, like, I know this sounds silly, but

1372
01:36:18.780 --> 01:36:21.740
like people still wear the sweatshirts or, you know, and

1373
01:36:21.860 --> 01:36:25.080
it's just not healthy for us to always carry that stuff into the

1374
01:36:25.080 --> 01:36:28.320
future with us. And so you might just want to be in prayer about

1375
01:36:28.320 --> 01:36:30.320
like, if there's anything you need to get rid of that's

1376
01:36:30.320 --> 01:36:34.120
connected to him. And I don't think to put a lot of weight

1377
01:36:34.120 --> 01:36:36.680
into that, again, but just to be prayerful and kind of

1378
01:36:36.680 --> 01:36:39.840
lighthearted about if the Lord shows you something, then cool,

1379
01:36:39.840 --> 01:36:46.720
if not, it's no big deal. But I do think like, you know, just if

1380
01:36:46.720 --> 01:36:53.080
he, like when he broke up with you, you may need to forgive him

1381
01:36:53.080 --> 01:36:58.400
for whatever kind of took place during that time. And because

1382
01:36:58.400 --> 01:37:01.080
you said you felt rejected, even though you knew it was the right

1383
01:37:01.080 --> 01:37:04.040
thing. There might just be a little bit of forgiveness to do

1384
01:37:04.040 --> 01:37:07.320
regarding, you know, that breakup or anything that might

1385
01:37:07.320 --> 01:37:12.840
have happened around that. But I think it's, you know, I will say

1386
01:37:12.840 --> 01:37:17.160
that if I, I remember my first high school boyfriend, the

1387
01:37:17.160 --> 01:37:22.040
person I loved for the first time, when I heard he was an

1388
01:37:22.040 --> 01:37:27.480
atheist, it broke my heart. It really did. And so I think it's

1389
01:37:27.480 --> 01:37:31.520
normal for us to care about people that we, you know, was

1390
01:37:31.520 --> 01:37:36.240
especially a first love. But I think it's how deeply we allow

1391
01:37:36.240 --> 01:37:38.920
ourself to be impacted by that. That's what we need to be

1392
01:37:38.920 --> 01:37:42.960
careful about. And part of you continuing to grow even as a

1393
01:37:42.960 --> 01:37:47.320
young lady is you growing and, and knowing that it's okay that

1394
01:37:47.320 --> 01:37:51.080
love to, you know, even when we love people, it doesn't always

1395
01:37:51.080 --> 01:37:56.600
work out. And that's okay. And so yeah, just forgiving him for

1396
01:37:56.600 --> 01:37:59.280
that breakup and giving yourself permission to keep moving

1397
01:37:59.280 --> 01:38:03.760
forward and not get too entangled in that dynamic. And

1398
01:38:03.760 --> 01:38:06.800
if a friend brings him up, I would encourage you actually

1399
01:38:06.800 --> 01:38:09.960
just to say, you know what, if you can just actually not

1400
01:38:09.960 --> 01:38:13.200
mention him to me anymore, that would be really helpful for me.

1401
01:38:14.520 --> 01:38:17.120
Because I've had to do that with people in the past, like

1402
01:38:17.120 --> 01:38:21.040
especially when I when things happen with my ex husband, I

1403
01:38:21.040 --> 01:38:24.120
actually asked friends and people to stop telling me

1404
01:38:24.120 --> 01:38:28.040
things because he was, I mean, he was losing it, you all he was

1405
01:38:28.040 --> 01:38:30.800
doing a lot of really bad things. And it wasn't good for

1406
01:38:30.800 --> 01:38:35.120
me to hear about him at all. And so I just didn't want to, I

1407
01:38:35.120 --> 01:38:37.760
didn't want to be connected to him. I didn't want to hear about

1408
01:38:37.760 --> 01:38:41.360
what he was doing, what he was saying. And even at one point, a

1409
01:38:41.360 --> 01:38:44.840
woman that he was in relationship with this was before

1410
01:38:44.840 --> 01:38:50.920
I met Brian, but reached out to me basically asking me things

1411
01:38:50.920 --> 01:38:56.520
about him. And I just did not feel led to respond to her. You

1412
01:38:56.520 --> 01:38:59.480
know, I just I prayed about it. And I didn't feel like it was my

1413
01:38:59.480 --> 01:39:04.000
responsibility to protect her. That was between her and him to

1414
01:39:04.000 --> 01:39:06.760
make that decision. So anyways, just putting those out there for

1415
01:39:06.760 --> 01:39:11.160
you or anybody else regarding people like just sometimes it's

1416
01:39:11.160 --> 01:39:13.600
just really good for us to set boundaries with friends that

1417
01:39:13.600 --> 01:39:17.120
keep updating us about those people and just really cut ties

1418
01:39:17.120 --> 01:39:18.640
completely regarding them.

1419
01:39:19.280 --> 01:39:23.680
Yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. I do have something that I feel I

1420
01:39:23.680 --> 01:39:26.840
got highlighted to me to get rid of.

1421
01:39:27.760 --> 01:39:29.920
What came to mind? Do you want to tell us?

1422
01:39:29.920 --> 01:39:34.800
Oh, the first time he got in like, big trouble when I heard

1423
01:39:34.800 --> 01:39:39.800
about it. It was crazy. Like they thought he they thought he

1424
01:39:39.800 --> 01:39:43.880
killed somebody. And it was all over the news. And so I was so

1425
01:39:43.880 --> 01:39:48.080
upset. So I wrote him a letter, but I never sent it. Okay. And I

1426
01:39:48.080 --> 01:39:51.560
feel like getting rid of that letter. Like,

1427
01:39:51.800 --> 01:39:54.440
yeah, I think you need to burn it. Actually, if you can have a

1428
01:39:54.440 --> 01:39:57.960
safe place to burn it. I think it's time. It's time to look.

1429
01:39:58.520 --> 01:39:59.880
Yeah, way to

1430
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.320
Oh, I'm so proud of you. Thank you for sharing with us. Yeah.

1431
01:40:04.640 --> 01:40:06.000
Aylin, go ahead.

1432
01:40:07.760 --> 01:40:17.960
Hi. Hi. Um, so I guess I can't like say one specific promise

1433
01:40:17.960 --> 01:40:26.680
that was broken. So it was a lot of promises. My mom had been

1434
01:40:26.680 --> 01:40:33.320
engaged to by my biological father. And so he first out of

1435
01:40:33.320 --> 01:40:36.520
the right out of the gates said no, we're not his children, me

1436
01:40:36.520 --> 01:40:44.440
and my brother. And then eventually, he got a DNA test

1437
01:40:44.440 --> 01:40:51.760
and all that stuff. But when I was younger, it was not like a

1438
01:40:52.440 --> 01:40:57.640
court agreement, per se. But he was supposed to see us so many

1439
01:40:57.640 --> 01:41:02.040
days a week, every other week or something like that. But he only

1440
01:41:02.040 --> 01:41:08.200
really wanted to see us when it came to holidays, and summer

1441
01:41:08.200 --> 01:41:17.320
vacation. And so for a long time, I felt abandoned and not

1442
01:41:17.320 --> 01:41:25.520
cared for. And I am still working on the forgiveness part.

1443
01:41:27.200 --> 01:41:32.600
I'm actually, I reached out back to him because I had moved back

1444
01:41:32.960 --> 01:41:36.680
home. And God was telling me, hey, you got to reach out to

1445
01:41:36.680 --> 01:41:39.560
him. And I kind of postponed it and God kept bringing it up to

1446
01:41:39.560 --> 01:41:45.920
my heart. And then he ended up responding back. I haven't set a

1447
01:41:45.920 --> 01:41:51.640
time or day or anything for us to meet yet. This is all fairly,

1448
01:41:51.720 --> 01:42:00.520
fairly new. But I think that it's obviously still, to me

1449
01:42:00.560 --> 01:42:10.760
anyways, it's still affecting me in feeling loved by my

1450
01:42:10.800 --> 01:42:18.560
biological father, by my dad, who, my mom married him when I

1451
01:42:18.560 --> 01:42:24.040
was four. And then I adopted, I got adopted by him when I turned

1452
01:42:24.040 --> 01:42:27.920
18 and changed my name and everything. But also by God.

1453
01:42:30.760 --> 01:42:37.640
Because I always tried to, like, earn love. And I kind of kept

1454
01:42:37.640 --> 01:42:41.040
reaching for something that I couldn't attain by doing things.

1455
01:42:44.640 --> 01:42:48.680
So yeah, I guess that, yeah.

1456
01:42:49.480 --> 01:42:52.480
You're doing great. This is really, really good. I can tell

1457
01:42:52.480 --> 01:42:55.600
it's very fresh for you. And that there's a lot of emotion

1458
01:42:55.600 --> 01:42:58.400
behind it. And that's totally okay. Just so you know, it's

1459
01:42:58.400 --> 01:43:00.960
okay to feel the emotion that you feel. And I think it's

1460
01:43:00.960 --> 01:43:04.400
important for you to hear that tonight. And it might take a

1461
01:43:04.400 --> 01:43:10.480
while for that emotion and that kind of the pain that at least

1462
01:43:10.480 --> 01:43:14.120
I'm what I feel like I'm hearing as you're talking that pain that

1463
01:43:14.120 --> 01:43:17.800
rises to the surface when you talk about it. It might take a

1464
01:43:17.800 --> 01:43:20.400
little while for that to go away. It sounds like there's a

1465
01:43:20.400 --> 01:43:23.760
lot of depth of healing that needs to happen. And I just want

1466
01:43:23.760 --> 01:43:28.400
to encourage you, you know, trust God's timing on the

1467
01:43:28.400 --> 01:43:32.400
connection with him. Because if you're not ready yet, it could

1468
01:43:32.600 --> 01:43:37.760
traumatize you more. Because if you go in with an expectation

1469
01:43:37.760 --> 01:43:42.440
of him on any level, and he doesn't meet that expectation.

1470
01:43:42.920 --> 01:43:46.560
Again, I'm not saying don't meet with him. But just, you know, be

1471
01:43:46.560 --> 01:43:50.000
really prayerful about the timing of that for yourself. And

1472
01:43:50.280 --> 01:43:53.080
if something does happen, you can absolutely get coaching, you

1473
01:43:53.080 --> 01:43:55.000
know, in the group or whatever. But I just want you to be

1474
01:43:55.000 --> 01:43:58.040
careful with your heart. Because I can tell like, there's just a

1475
01:43:58.040 --> 01:44:03.520
lot of a lot of sensitivity and pain there. And in, you know,

1476
01:44:04.800 --> 01:44:10.840
in the abandonment, you know, anytime, it's really tricky, you

1477
01:44:10.840 --> 01:44:13.800
know, even though you had a dad that your mom ended up marrying

1478
01:44:13.800 --> 01:44:18.480
and you know, he adopted you, you changed your name, you know,

1479
01:44:18.480 --> 01:44:22.880
the reality is, is that we're always going to long for our

1480
01:44:22.880 --> 01:44:28.880
bio parents to love us to choose us to pursue us. And

1481
01:44:28.920 --> 01:44:36.280
that's real. That's real. Um, but really allowing yourself to

1482
01:44:36.320 --> 01:44:40.480
get to the root of what causes you to try to earn people's

1483
01:44:40.480 --> 01:44:43.920
love. I heard someone talking, and Peggy, just so you know,

1484
01:44:43.920 --> 01:44:49.280
we'll, we'll have time for you. Okay. And someone sharing the

1485
01:44:49.280 --> 01:44:55.240
other day, that he still often feels like he has to earn like,

1486
01:44:55.280 --> 01:44:59.280
you know, he needs to do things to earn God's love. And, you

1487
01:44:59.280 --> 01:45:00.080
know, and even that

1488
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:03.000
broke my heart. Like I know sometimes I've done that too,

1489
01:45:03.000 --> 01:45:06.280
but like the reality is, is we don't have to do anything to

1490
01:45:06.280 --> 01:45:14.240
earn God's love. And so we need to choose to partner with like,

1491
01:45:15.480 --> 01:45:19.480
we choose to do things in relationship, and it does

1492
01:45:19.480 --> 01:45:25.040
cultivate love. But the reality is, is that people choose to

1493
01:45:25.040 --> 01:45:33.200
love us. Okay, it's a choice to love someone, little guy. And

1494
01:45:33.200 --> 01:45:37.840
yeah, um, you know, just really that we're careful about

1495
01:45:37.840 --> 01:45:41.240
partnering with that I have to earn, I have to perform, I have

1496
01:45:41.240 --> 01:45:44.120
to be the cool girlfriend. I think I've told you guys that

1497
01:45:44.120 --> 01:45:47.000
those stories before I have to act a certain way, look a

1498
01:45:47.000 --> 01:45:52.120
certain way, or nobody's gonna love me. And that comes from a

1499
01:45:52.120 --> 01:45:55.120
place of again, the abandonment ones, but it also comes from a

1500
01:45:55.120 --> 01:45:58.680
place of not knowing our value and our identity in the Lord.

1501
01:45:59.000 --> 01:46:02.840
And so the more that you continue to grow in that, you

1502
01:46:02.840 --> 01:46:05.400
know, those understandings, that's going to help you a lot

1503
01:46:05.400 --> 01:46:10.840
too. It'll help you grow in confidence, everything. And so

1504
01:46:11.880 --> 01:46:15.480
even reading, not that I want you to do it now, but I would

1505
01:46:15.480 --> 01:46:19.440
encourage you when you're done with the heart work. There is a

1506
01:46:19.440 --> 01:46:24.160
book by Joyce Meyer called The Confident Woman. I would

1507
01:46:24.160 --> 01:46:26.760
encourage you to read that. I think that will be really

1508
01:46:26.760 --> 01:46:30.800
helpful for you. Um, I just think that some of the tools

1509
01:46:30.800 --> 01:46:34.080
that she goes through in there can will like just seeing it and

1510
01:46:34.080 --> 01:46:36.800
writing and being able to kind of look and pray into some of

1511
01:46:36.800 --> 01:46:40.360
those things. But again, that is an urgent, there's no rush on

1512
01:46:40.360 --> 01:46:43.200
that we want you to stay focused on the heart work first. But

1513
01:46:43.200 --> 01:46:47.640
that that book came to mind as I was talking to you. Um, but

1514
01:46:47.640 --> 01:46:50.680
you're doing the right thing. You're sharing and you're

1515
01:46:50.680 --> 01:46:54.560
healing. And you know, you're stepping further into like

1516
01:46:54.600 --> 01:46:58.520
choosing to forgive. And that's that's what counts. You're doing

1517
01:46:58.520 --> 01:47:04.120
a great job. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. It takes time

1518
01:47:04.120 --> 01:47:09.920
ladies for our hearts to heal. It does. And God will help us

1519
01:47:09.920 --> 01:47:12.600
kind of know what that timeline looks like. So just give

1520
01:47:12.600 --> 01:47:17.880
yourself lots of grace and love in all of the things. Peggy,

1521
01:47:17.960 --> 01:47:31.440
you're up. Thanks for sharing Ailyn. Oh, you're muted. Okay,

1522
01:47:31.440 --> 01:47:32.000
there you go.

1523
01:47:32.200 --> 01:47:40.640
All right. Um, I just wanted to share. I'll share what I shared

1524
01:47:40.640 --> 01:47:45.000
with the group was, after my husband died, and it's been

1525
01:47:45.000 --> 01:47:51.320
three years and five months ago that he died. Um, my one of my

1526
01:47:51.320 --> 01:47:59.600
sons said, he made a promise to me that I'll go to camp meeting

1527
01:47:59.600 --> 01:48:03.880
with you. That was the trip that my husband and I would take for

1528
01:48:03.920 --> 01:48:09.880
Easter. Sometimes it wasn't every year, but it was a special

1529
01:48:09.880 --> 01:48:16.000
time that we would do together. And so he broke that promise. I

1530
01:48:16.000 --> 01:48:19.720
knew it was gonna break it. And he's broken a number of

1531
01:48:19.880 --> 01:48:27.760
promises to me. But I've forgiven him. And this year, I

1532
01:48:27.760 --> 01:48:33.560
took myself to Easter camp meeting. I left last Thursday,

1533
01:48:33.720 --> 01:48:39.000
and I came home today. And it was just a wonderful, wonderful

1534
01:48:39.000 --> 01:48:46.600
time in the Lord. I felt so encouraged in the Lord. And

1535
01:48:47.840 --> 01:48:51.040
yeah, and and so many of the things that were said in the

1536
01:48:51.040 --> 01:48:56.000
messages tied in with what I'm hearing on last year's single

1537
01:48:56.040 --> 01:49:01.080
from Jackie. And as you do hard work with us, so I'm feeling

1538
01:49:01.400 --> 01:49:10.800
more encouraged that God is moving me along and I'm going to

1539
01:49:10.800 --> 01:49:12.000
be okay.

1540
01:49:12.280 --> 01:49:17.480
You are gonna be okay. And I love that you said this year.

1541
01:49:17.960 --> 01:49:22.480
This year, I took myself. Yeah. And y'all, of course we want to

1542
01:49:22.520 --> 01:49:25.760
we want to enjoy things with people. But man, that is a

1543
01:49:25.760 --> 01:49:30.200
powerful statement. When I when I went through the hard work, I

1544
01:49:30.240 --> 01:49:36.800
hadn't traveled in for ever. Unfortunately, my first husband,

1545
01:49:36.800 --> 01:49:42.400
we went on one trip, we went on our honeymoon. And well, yeah,

1546
01:49:42.400 --> 01:49:44.560
two trips, we went on our honeymoon in California, we were

1547
01:49:44.560 --> 01:49:48.840
married for 12 years, we only went on two little trips. And

1548
01:49:48.840 --> 01:49:51.520
then which some people never go on any, so I'm grateful that I

1549
01:49:51.520 --> 01:49:54.800
went on those. But I love to travel, I love to see new

1550
01:49:54.800 --> 01:49:59.200
places. And then when I was with the girls, that hardly any

1551
01:49:59.200 --> 01:50:00.200
trips there either.

1552
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:13.000
And so, um, you know, when I met Brian, that has been one of the funnest things we, we go, we travel, we go explore new places, even if it's a new coffee shop, you know, a couple of towns over, like, just, we just have fun.

1553
01:50:13.000 --> 01:50:27.000
And I'm saying that to say this, that I, I realized before I met Brian, um, when I was in the heart work and in the healing process for myself, that I needed to take some trips on my own.

1554
01:50:27.000 --> 01:50:29.000
And really kind of stir that back up in my life.

1555
01:50:29.000 --> 01:50:41.000
Um, and I really believe because I did that, I went on several trips by myself that that was a part of me getting prepared to receive Brian because he loves to travel.

1556
01:50:41.000 --> 01:50:46.000
And if I had still been shut down in that way, I don't know if we would have connected as much, you know?

1557
01:50:47.000 --> 01:50:54.000
And so just, I, I celebrate you for taking the step to do that, for stepping out and courage and trusting God.

1558
01:50:54.000 --> 01:50:55.000
And look at how God showed up.

1559
01:50:55.000 --> 01:50:57.000
And I think that's awesome.

1560
01:50:57.000 --> 01:51:07.000
And I hope more of you ladies will pray about like places that you need to go and you need to explore and you need to have fun and things like that.

1561
01:51:07.000 --> 01:51:08.000
Even they don't all have to cost money.

1562
01:51:08.000 --> 01:51:15.000
Some of it's just, I remember one day getting in my car and I just felt like God wanted me to go somewhere with him.

1563
01:51:15.000 --> 01:51:18.000
And I just started driving you all.

1564
01:51:18.000 --> 01:51:20.000
And I ended up in this cute little town.

1565
01:51:20.000 --> 01:51:22.000
This was in Indiana, this cute little town.

1566
01:51:22.000 --> 01:51:25.000
And there was, I think I might even talked about it on here once before.

1567
01:51:25.000 --> 01:51:31.000
And there was this like cute little park that had this water, like was the waterfall and little stream.

1568
01:51:31.000 --> 01:51:36.000
And I just spent the afternoon there and it would just filled my cup so much.

1569
01:51:37.000 --> 01:51:41.000
And so I would encourage you all to do those kinds of things.

1570
01:51:41.000 --> 01:51:44.000
You took yourself kind of on a really important trip.

1571
01:51:44.000 --> 01:51:46.000
Some of y'all are going to feel led.

1572
01:51:46.000 --> 01:51:51.000
You know, you need to take yourself on a movie date or a dinner date or whatever.

1573
01:51:51.000 --> 01:51:56.000
So that, because how we treat ourselves is how we're going to let other people treat us.

1574
01:51:56.000 --> 01:51:57.000
Okay.

1575
01:51:57.000 --> 01:51:59.000
All right.

1576
01:51:59.000 --> 01:52:01.000
So yeah, Peggy, I love that.

1577
01:52:01.000 --> 01:52:06.000
And even processing that, in my opinion, because you used to go there with your husband.

1578
01:52:06.000 --> 01:52:12.000
I think going on your own and having a good experience is probably another whole layer of healing.

1579
01:52:12.000 --> 01:52:16.000
And it is my guess regarding, you know, the loss of your former husband.

1580
01:52:16.000 --> 01:52:18.000
So way to go.

1581
01:52:18.000 --> 01:52:22.000
I hope to hear more fun things that you're going to do and go see.

1582
01:52:23.000 --> 01:52:30.000
And so would love to hear more updates from you in the future on that for sure.

1583
01:52:30.000 --> 01:52:31.000
Sorry.

1584
01:52:31.000 --> 01:52:33.000
I saw a little message come in from Lisa.

1585
01:52:33.000 --> 01:52:34.000
Yeah.

1586
01:52:34.000 --> 01:52:36.000
Lisa, when you didn't put your hand up, I'm sorry.

1587
01:52:36.000 --> 01:52:38.000
I didn't know if you wanted to go tonight.

1588
01:52:38.000 --> 01:52:42.000
And so we can absolutely do that next week because I do need to close us up for tonight.

1589
01:52:42.000 --> 01:52:47.000
And then maybe if you can do me a little favor, just because it has been so long,

1590
01:52:47.000 --> 01:52:50.000
if you can put a post in the group and just tag me.

1591
01:52:51.000 --> 01:52:52.000
I do see those.

1592
01:52:52.000 --> 01:52:55.000
I do see those happening now when people are tagging me.

1593
01:52:55.000 --> 01:52:58.000
It has to be in the original post, and then I see it.

1594
01:52:58.000 --> 01:53:04.000
And if you put that up, I will definitely, you know, whether it's tonight or tomorrow, I can go and look at it.

1595
01:53:04.000 --> 01:53:13.000
But just it doesn't have to be a lot of detail, but just remind me of where we left the conversation off so that I'm not kind of flying blind next week on that.

1596
01:53:13.000 --> 01:53:14.000
All right.

1597
01:53:14.000 --> 01:53:16.000
And thanks for letting me know.

1598
01:53:16.000 --> 01:53:18.000
Thanks for letting me know I need to raise my hand.

1599
01:53:19.000 --> 01:53:20.000
I didn't realize that.

1600
01:53:20.000 --> 01:53:21.000
Sorry.

1601
01:53:21.000 --> 01:53:22.000
I just I thought I said that last week.

1602
01:53:22.000 --> 01:53:27.000
And so when you didn't, I didn't know if you changed your mind and I didn't want to put you on the spot.

1603
01:53:27.000 --> 01:53:28.000
Yes.

1604
01:53:28.000 --> 01:53:30.000
So I just assumed that we were going to.

1605
01:53:30.000 --> 01:53:31.000
So that's yeah.

1606
01:53:31.000 --> 01:53:32.000
No problem.

1607
01:53:32.000 --> 01:53:33.000
Just miscommunication.

1608
01:53:33.000 --> 01:53:34.000
All right.

1609
01:53:34.000 --> 01:53:35.000
Yeah.

1610
01:53:35.000 --> 01:53:36.000
So go ahead.

1611
01:53:36.000 --> 01:53:39.000
Next week when I open up for group coaching, raise your hand and then we'll do that.

1612
01:53:39.000 --> 01:53:43.000
But if you can do that group post, like I said, that will help me a lot just because it has been a little while.

1613
01:53:43.000 --> 01:53:46.000
And I want to make sure we kind of pick up where we left off.

1614
01:53:46.000 --> 01:53:47.000
All right.

1615
01:53:47.000 --> 01:53:48.000
Awesome.

1616
01:53:48.000 --> 01:53:49.000
Well, ladies, let me pray us out.

1617
01:53:49.000 --> 01:53:51.000
Father, thank you so much for everything that you've done.

1618
01:53:51.000 --> 01:53:54.000
We celebrate you, God, for who you are.

1619
01:53:54.000 --> 01:53:58.000
Jesus, thank you again for going to the cross for us.

1620
01:53:58.000 --> 01:54:07.000
God, thank you for rising Jesus from the dead and sending the Holy Spirit so that we have a comforter, a counselor, a guide that helps us in every moment.

1621
01:54:07.000 --> 01:54:09.000
We thank you for breakthrough and healing.

1622
01:54:09.000 --> 01:54:11.000
That is going to happen more and more and more.

1623
01:54:11.000 --> 01:54:13.000
One on the heels after another.

1624
01:54:13.000 --> 01:54:17.000
In the days ahead, God, we thank you that you have a plan and a purpose for every one of these ladies.

1625
01:54:17.000 --> 01:54:19.000
We thank you that they will not fear.

1626
01:54:19.000 --> 01:54:20.000
They will not be afraid.

1627
01:54:20.000 --> 01:54:26.000
They will walk in the fullness of your love and your grace and your mercy for them more in the days to come.

1628
01:54:26.000 --> 01:54:27.000
In Jesus name.

1629
01:54:27.000 --> 01:54:28.000
Amen.

1630
01:54:28.000 --> 01:54:29.000
God bless you all.

1631
01:54:29.000 --> 01:54:30.000
Have a great night, everyone.

1632
01:54:30.000 --> 01:54:31.000
Bye bye.