WEBVTT

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Welcome, welcome. It is Monday, April 13th, 2026 for men's heart check-in and we'll get

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us some things tonight. I will admit to you guys that I have been going down the AI train

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and in a good way, in a productive, like healthy way, not like in a conspiratorial, like, you

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know, taking over the world, what's going to happen sort of way. I've been trying to

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jump on that. And so we can talk about that a little bit tonight if you want to, because

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it's just kind of like top of mind for me. But at the same time, we can talk about several

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other things. So I kind of want to leave it open to you to see what's going on in your

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life. Maybe you're tired of doing what would seem like work stuff, but to me, the thing

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about it is I'm energized right now. We just got done writing. I do the editing typesetting

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and a little bit of proofreading for the books when Jackie writes the books, but she's just

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writing, finishing up her new book, Modern Dating Sucks. And that's been incredible because

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modern dating does suck. And the book is about explaining kind of first part of the book

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is kind of like modern dating sucks. And here's why, like, here's how we got here to this

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point and why we are here. And I so tempted to kind of dive into sort of like a summary,

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but I just don't know that I would do it justice. So I'm not going to, I don't want

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to hack it up and do that, but it's kind of interesting. The second part of the book then

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goes into the mechanics of like, what is dating? What are we doing? Like, what is, what are

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we looking for? What are, what are, you know, so this book is really, really instructional

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and instrumental in the dating process. And then kind of like moving forward into like,

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this is what you have to look forward to. So it's, it's all a good, good book. The premise

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is kind of funny in terms of like modern dating sucks. It resonates with every person that

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ever has heard of the title and they're like, yeah, that's interesting. Like that sounds

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like an interesting read, you know, type thing. So that's coming out here in the next week

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or so. Cause we finally just got through with it, writing a book. If you've ever, anybody

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ever written a book in this, a little audience here, book writers, nobody. Okay. Writing

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a book is not an easy process as you might imagine. And sometimes you'd be like, oh,

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well, you know, but if you have like a good idea and it's just like, man, I think I could

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write a book on that. And then you go to write the book because you're inspired by this idea.

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Then you quickly find out like, oh my gosh, that this is not actually that easy of a process,

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you know, even given the tools that we have today, it's still a very arduous, full of

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labor process, very tedious. So just so you know, and it's just not reading, it's not

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writing the book and then you have to finish the book and then revise the book and fix

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the book. And then, oh my gosh, it's just over and over and over. And then it's nonstop

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because it's kind of like, it's kind of like the little crossing the T's dotting the eyes

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that never ends. Oh, there's a comma there though. No, that should not have to be a comma.

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It's like, ah, it just gets so crazy. Like I said, even with the tools, there are a lot

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of great tools out there to help us kind of do that. But still with that, it's still a

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very, very difficult process. So what's on your mind, what's on your heart tonight, guys?

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I want to open the floor. Anybody want to volley out there? Anybody want to bring something

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to the group? This is heart check-in. But we can talk about anything really that's constructive

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because I think it all goes together. I mean, career goes together, life goes together,

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health and fitness goes together, heart work goes together. Your preparation for where you're

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going and what you're doing, it all goes together. So we'd like to kind of be open in that way.

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So what's up? I just had a question. Just kind of curious what the format or what the purpose

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of this group is. Are all the guys on here, are we all doing our heart work right now?

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Yeah. So I mean, because this group, this particular group is, this particular meeting

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is supposed to be heart check-in and

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there's a lot of us that are regulars on here.

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We've been meeting for quite a long time.

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And so we're all on our different parts

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of the journey through heart work.

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Some of us are in it.

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Some of us are doing, you know,

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first five, sort of first four or five weeks of heart work,

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which is kind of like the heart work as a course

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and as a book is intended to be like a four

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or five week process initially to go through it,

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which is kind of what you started, Rodney.

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And then after that, heart work as a protocol

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is really something that can be used

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over and over and over and over again.

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So it's designed in that way to basically be a tool.

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And so lots of times what we do on these calls

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is kind of process, you know, what we're going through.

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And I try to leave it open-ended

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and open floor as possible so that you can,

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so I'll just sit here and just talk the whole time

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and talk at you guys.

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So we want to be able to answer questions.

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We want to be able to process.

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We want to be able for you to share and get some stuff out.

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So if you have something to share, you can do that, Rodney.

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But we're all at different spots in our journey.

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Okay, yeah.

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Thanks for explaining that.

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I'm just kind of new to the process.

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I'm just going to kind of sit back and listen in.

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If I just, I'm curious, like,

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what is your thought initially

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in terms of why you were attracted to this program?

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You heard, obviously, Jackie on 30, the Wisdom Challenge.

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What was the thing that kind of piqued your interest

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to begin with?

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To be honest, I think I first heard about it,

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like in the 31-Day Wisdom Challenge,

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there were some people in the chat.

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Someone mentioned they were single.

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One woman mentioned, someone said,

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oh, you got to do this program unless you're single.

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So that was the first time I saw it.

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And then I've heard Jackie speak a few times

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in Kingdom Seekers.

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Yeah.

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And obviously she's just a very, very powerful speaker.

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I just really connect with her, the way she speaks and stuff.

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And so, you know, I'm a little bit about me.

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I'm 56, never been married.

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You know, still have hope for finding my soulmate.

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And I know I've got work to do.

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You know, 56 years on this earth,

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you just, you take on baggage over that time.

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And so 30 years, I've been a believer.

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And, you know, kind of finding out I've got a lot of just,

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you know, religious ideas,

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which I probably need to let go of.

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Probably need to let go of some of that stuff.

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And yeah, pretty much just happy to be here

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and start kind of digging in and letting Holy Spirit,

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you know, do his thing and do that work, you know?

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Yeah, that's good.

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Now, I appreciate you sharing.

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I appreciate you being transparent like that.

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And I'll let you, you know,

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kind of do your initial heart work, of course,

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without kind of going in too hard.

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But you said,

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have you had any long-term, any kind of relationship

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where it was either headed towards marriage

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or anything like that in your life?

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Yeah, I did.

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This was, you know, about 20 years ago, I was with a gal

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and, you know, we both kind of thought

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it was heading towards marriage.

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And I don't want to go too much into it,

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but at one point, God told me to break it off.

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And to me, that would just made no sense at all.

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But it was very clear that he was telling me

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to break it up with her.

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And so I did, but to be honest,

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I was very confused for a long time as to why.

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I did kind of find out, you know, a few years later

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why, what God was protecting me from.

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But that was a difficult thing to go through

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because I felt like I'd found my soulmate

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and then I felt like it was just kind of yanked out.

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Oh, wow.

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And yeah, I just didn't really date much after that.

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I just kind of, you know, just, yeah.

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So I didn't date for a long time after that.

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I see, I see.

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Well, thanks for sharing that, Rodney.

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Yeah, I'm sorry to.

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whatever happened there didn't work out,

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but at the same time, definitely want to be,

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if you have that kind of feeling like,

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oh, you know, kind of like it wasn't the right thing

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or it could have been something different,

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then maybe that was, you know, a good thing, but.

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Okay, well, yeah, man, we'll let you do,

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you know, kind of like getting your heart work

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and see what happens with that

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and just kind of continue on the journey.

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Who else has got something else you want to share,

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want to get into tonight?

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I'll share a couple wins if you'd like.

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Yeah, go ahead.

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So I kind of finished the online dating portion

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and we talked to Renee a few weeks ago

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about that kind of stuff.

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So I've jumped into online dating,

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Coffee Meets Bagel and Holi are the two

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I've decided to focus on for my first 90 days.

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I've actually gone through a lot.

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I mean, it's kind of, there's a lot to do.

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You gotta keep track of a lot of chats, stuff like that,

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but I actually did a video chat with a woman on Thursday.

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I did one last night that we went a little long.

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We actually went two hours

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because we were just really enjoying the conversation.

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So I've got another date with both of them going forward.

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So it's actually, I mean, as someone who hated online dating

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my first round of it, I mean, absolutely.

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I actually, and I will tell you guys this,

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I had it in the folder on my phone

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where I kept like Bumble and stuff like that

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was named Living Hell.

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I literally had that as the folder

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because that's what I thought.

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It's like, this is hell on earth.

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This is going into this app and trying to message 10 women

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who don't give me the time of day.

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But I have to say, I mean,

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I did the things that I was told to do

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and it seems like I'm getting a lot more matches

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and at least a lot more chats going

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and to the point where I actually I'm having to limit

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my time on some of this stuff

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because I'm actually getting some interaction.

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So yeah, I'm feeling good about it.

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I'm not gonna tell you guys that I met my soulmate yet,

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but I did wanna share those two wins

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because I'm excited about the two that I've got here.

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I was gonna ask you first of all,

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kind of like, well, how have you enjoyed doing that?

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And I think you kind of answered that like, okay,

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obviously, you had the one long chat

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and so you found it to be not as miserable

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maybe as you thought in general

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in terms of just the experience.

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But like, what's one thing that you thought

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that you learned maybe either about yourself

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or even about the process in just the few that you've had?

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Cause there's something that kind of sticks out

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and goes like, oh man, I didn't know that I could

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be so engaging or like, I mean,

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is there something that you learned about the process

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that maybe would surprise you?

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I think surprisingly, I've had a lot that are very open

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to actually doing the video chat.

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I think that was just something I just never considered

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at the time that I was doing it.

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And just go for it.

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Hey, I'm really enjoying this conversation

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because the first time I dropped

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like kind of Renee's boilerplate,

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like, hey, this is kind of a complicated thing.

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First time I dropped that chat,

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I'm like, no way this person's gonna say yes.

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And they did.

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And I was like, oh, well, cool.

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Now, and then immediately gave me her number

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and we're texting.

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Same thing with the second one.

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Had one that actually brought up a couple deal breakers.

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Said, yeah, I'd love to join a video chat,

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but here's my couple deal breakers just right off the bat.

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Ended up one of them was me.

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So I was like, all right, yeah, it's not gonna work out.

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But it's just very, like there's no animosity.

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There's no like drama, which was actually really...

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So what I learned about myself

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is I think I'm bringing a lot of drama

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more than I would like to admit maybe.

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Or a lot of, oh, it's gonna go wrong

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or that anxiety and stress and drama.

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Maybe a little bit more in my head than I realized.

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Okay.

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Would you say that before you did a video chat

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the first time or second time or whatever,

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was it just being on video was intimidating itself?

241
00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:15.000
Like you thinking like, oh my gosh, it's vulnerable.

242
00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:16.880
It's too much or whatever, like here you are.

243
00:14:16.880 --> 00:14:17.720
Like, what do you do?

244
00:14:17.720 --> 00:14:18.840
What do you say?

245
00:14:18.840 --> 00:14:21.920
Was that just like, this seems overwhelming.

246
00:14:21.920 --> 00:14:25.080
Like it's, was that the initial thing

247
00:14:25.080 --> 00:14:27.080
that was like sort of the fear, if you were?

248
00:14:27.080 --> 00:14:29.440
No, the fear was definitely rejection.

249
00:14:29.440 --> 00:14:31.640
Like, I just think nobody's even, yeah.

250
00:14:31.640 --> 00:14:33.120
Nobody's even gonna,

251
00:14:33.120 --> 00:14:34.720
they're immediately gonna stop chatting with me.

252
00:14:34.720 --> 00:14:37.000
Like we're having kind of a good convo.

253
00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:39.040
And if I drop the, hey, let's do a video chat,

254
00:14:39.040 --> 00:14:41.680
they're just gonna, all right, no.

255
00:14:41.680 --> 00:14:43.320
And I actually did have a couple.

256
00:14:43.320 --> 00:14:44.400
Oh, so it's like, okay.

257
00:14:44.400 --> 00:14:48.360
So you engaged in chat in a conversation.

258
00:14:48.800 --> 00:14:51.360
And then moving to the video was kind of like

259
00:14:51.360 --> 00:14:56.200
where you felt like that was gonna be the drop-off point.

260
00:14:56.200 --> 00:14:57.720
I thought for sure that we were done

261
00:14:57.720 --> 00:14:59.480
because a lot of these things,

262
00:14:59.480 --> 00:15:00.320
I'm just used to.

263
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.860
getting strung along for so long.

264
00:15:01.860 --> 00:15:04.000
We were just having these endless text threads.

265
00:15:04.560 --> 00:15:07.120
And cause I, and also I feel bad.

266
00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:11.480
I feel bad at the person who I've had a few that I just dropped off.

267
00:15:11.560 --> 00:15:12.680
They weren't engaging.

268
00:15:12.680 --> 00:15:15.080
They weren't really, it wasn't good conversation.

269
00:15:15.320 --> 00:15:19.720
And I just let it drop off and I, it was against my spirit.

270
00:15:19.720 --> 00:15:21.600
Cause I'm like, I got to have closure on everything.

271
00:15:21.600 --> 00:15:22.200
And I'm like, no, you don't.

272
00:15:22.400 --> 00:15:22.840
It's fine.

273
00:15:24.120 --> 00:15:28.200
So, um, but yeah, taking that initial, like, Hey, I actually think I really

274
00:15:28.200 --> 00:15:30.040
liked this person a little bit.

275
00:15:30.040 --> 00:15:31.960
And I'd like to get to actually know them one-on-one.

276
00:15:32.640 --> 00:15:33.200
Oh my gosh.

277
00:15:33.200 --> 00:15:36.800
If I throw it out there and be like, oh, too soon, this is creepy.

278
00:15:36.800 --> 00:15:38.040
And now it's on my head.

279
00:15:39.280 --> 00:15:39.520
Yeah.

280
00:15:39.520 --> 00:15:43.480
And that's the thing, because I feel like, I feel like with, and I think

281
00:15:43.480 --> 00:15:44.720
this goes along with your experience.

282
00:15:44.720 --> 00:15:53.080
I feel like, um, I feel like if a woman is actually truly marriage minded,

283
00:15:53.080 --> 00:15:56.280
like they're truly serious about, they're not just on there goofing around.

284
00:15:56.280 --> 00:15:58.800
I'm just trying to be whatever, see, see what's up, but

285
00:15:58.800 --> 00:15:59.800
they're truly marriage around.

286
00:15:59.800 --> 00:16:08.320
I feel like a woman, any woman that is serious about that would enjoy talking

287
00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:14.480
to you via video, because you're not a creepy guy, you don't come across

288
00:16:14.480 --> 00:16:17.160
like, like very intimidating.

289
00:16:17.160 --> 00:16:19.640
You've, you know, you've seemed conversational.

290
00:16:19.960 --> 00:16:23.680
I don't think I don't based on what you're showing me right now, I don't

291
00:16:23.680 --> 00:16:29.160
see why any woman who's serious wouldn't at least entertain a conversation with

292
00:16:29.160 --> 00:16:34.120
you and I understand how that should that leap from like the chat and then

293
00:16:34.120 --> 00:16:37.240
let's do a video thing sounds like you've crossed that bridge.

294
00:16:37.400 --> 00:16:39.000
And so like, like, okay.

295
00:16:39.000 --> 00:16:40.160
You're like, okay, I got this.

296
00:16:40.160 --> 00:16:43.040
Like I can make the transition and.

297
00:16:43.680 --> 00:16:48.160
I still might get rejected because someone may get into the video, not

298
00:16:48.160 --> 00:16:52.400
like something about my appearance or me or whatever it is and still may get

299
00:16:52.400 --> 00:16:56.280
rejected, but at the same time, I think what you're learning is, is that number

300
00:16:56.280 --> 00:17:00.680
one, you can make the conversion from chat to video and that's important because

301
00:17:00.840 --> 00:17:02.520
you're serious about what you want.

302
00:17:02.560 --> 00:17:07.160
You serious about finding out and what you have to do is kind of like, it's

303
00:17:07.160 --> 00:17:09.680
like, it's almost like sales in the sense.

304
00:17:09.680 --> 00:17:14.839
It's kind of like, look, the faster I get to this video situation, the better

305
00:17:14.839 --> 00:17:19.119
off this is going to be, even if it's a negative, even if it's a no, because

306
00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:24.240
at least I know, like, I'm willing just to go there, go there, go there, do the

307
00:17:24.240 --> 00:17:30.040
reps because there isn't any sense in trying to string along, like you say before

308
00:17:30.040 --> 00:17:36.320
in a chat and then either get rejected and feel bad and then get discouraged or

309
00:17:36.520 --> 00:17:40.960
not bring it to a, like a serious, like, Hey, is this, could this be something?

310
00:17:41.480 --> 00:17:43.960
So the sooner you get to that, I think that's kind of like what

311
00:17:43.960 --> 00:17:45.040
you're learning here as well.

312
00:17:45.040 --> 00:17:50.080
So it's like, you've crossed the bridge of, I feel like I can, uh, make that

313
00:17:50.080 --> 00:17:55.160
transition now that I've done that I can get to those yeses, maybe a little bit

314
00:17:55.160 --> 00:17:59.080
sooner, I can get to those possibilities a little bit sooner and entertain some

315
00:17:59.080 --> 00:18:02.640
really good stuff rather than just kind of feeling like this isn't working.

316
00:18:03.440 --> 00:18:07.080
And there's forward momentum, which I've never felt in dating ever.

317
00:18:07.080 --> 00:18:07.560
That's awesome.

318
00:18:07.560 --> 00:18:08.840
There was forward, forward momentum.

319
00:18:09.240 --> 00:18:13.800
And I am going to, I know that I likely will have to just from our chats that

320
00:18:13.800 --> 00:18:19.320
we've had, um, I'm likely going to have to cross that next barrier that is, is

321
00:18:19.440 --> 00:18:22.680
giving me anxiety, which is, Hey, I don't think this is working out.

322
00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:27.400
Um, but, um, but it's a yes until it's no.

323
00:18:27.400 --> 00:18:27.800
Right.

324
00:18:27.920 --> 00:18:29.520
So that's where I'm at with it.

325
00:18:29.560 --> 00:18:36.040
And, um, this one got a little bit overwhelming with the, uh, she actually

326
00:18:36.040 --> 00:18:38.840
sent me screenshots of a marriage of two marriage books that she's

327
00:18:38.840 --> 00:18:41.320
reading with like 50 questions.

328
00:18:41.960 --> 00:18:43.200
Marriage proposals.

329
00:18:43.800 --> 00:18:46.960
No, just questions about like, Oh, for a partner.

330
00:18:47.360 --> 00:18:50.640
And I, I actually kind of, uh, again, I'm taking everything very

331
00:18:50.640 --> 00:18:51.640
light because I'm trying to have fun.

332
00:18:51.640 --> 00:18:52.960
That's really what I want.

333
00:18:52.960 --> 00:18:56.560
My life, somebody who's fun, my entire life is drama.

334
00:18:56.560 --> 00:18:57.640
My job is drama.

335
00:18:57.680 --> 00:19:01.800
I don't need serious and I will get serious.

336
00:19:01.800 --> 00:19:04.480
I'm not saying I won't, but I'm just, I'm just saying like, Hey, let's have a

337
00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:07.720
little bit of fun, see if we can actually have some, some fun because

338
00:19:07.720 --> 00:19:09.000
that's what I'm really looking for.

339
00:19:09.320 --> 00:19:12.280
And so she sends me all this and I actually just, I say, Hey, why don't we

340
00:19:12.280 --> 00:19:12.760
make a game?

341
00:19:12.920 --> 00:19:14.120
We'll do a question of the day.

342
00:19:15.400 --> 00:19:18.840
You can do a question a day, send it to me, but yeah, I can't go through this

343
00:19:18.840 --> 00:19:23.680
like line of the resume that you sent me and answer every question about like

344
00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:27.000
one of them's like, who was the most influential person in your life and why?

345
00:19:27.000 --> 00:19:29.600
I'm like, okay, well that's a whole conversation on its own.

346
00:19:29.600 --> 00:19:30.040
Yeah.

347
00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:35.560
So that's super deep, especially on the first, first conversation.

348
00:19:35.560 --> 00:19:36.440
That's so yeah.

349
00:19:36.920 --> 00:19:39.320
So that's, that's just really encouraging for you, Christopher.

350
00:19:39.320 --> 00:19:41.040
I really, I'm really glad you're saying this.

351
00:19:41.040 --> 00:19:46.560
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm excited for you because I progress is good.

352
00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:48.600
I think you're learning a lot of things about yourself.

353
00:19:48.920 --> 00:19:52.640
Um, I think you're learning about the, the, a lot of things that you can do.

354
00:19:52.640 --> 00:19:56.320
I love Renee stuff because she's very good at putting together.

355
00:19:56.320 --> 00:19:59.840
It's surprisingly, when you follow a script a little.

356
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.280
and you follow like a protocol that somebody's given, like, just trust the process, you know,

357
00:20:05.920 --> 00:20:10.880
and it works and it shows you, it's like, oh, okay, I can make this transition. I can make,

358
00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:15.600
you know, the connection to the next part. So I, I'm just happy for you on that. I love that.

359
00:20:16.320 --> 00:20:19.440
And I, I just want to encourage, since we have someone who's on the first week of the hard work,

360
00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:24.160
that is what I did on day one with this program. As I said, I'm just going to trust the process

361
00:20:24.160 --> 00:20:28.240
because I'm the skeptic. I am the, I was like, there's no way this is going to work,

362
00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:35.040
but I'm going to just go at 110% and I've been such a reward. I mean, just the hard work was

363
00:20:35.040 --> 00:20:39.520
worth the price of admission, in my opinion, I mean, those five weeks were amazing. So

364
00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:46.000
just trust it. Just, just try. That's great, man. That's awesome. I appreciate

365
00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:50.880
you sharing Christopher so much. That's so really good. I thanks, thanks for

366
00:20:52.640 --> 00:20:57.440
sharing all that detail and the wind is part of it. Mike, what do you got, man? You're raising

367
00:20:57.440 --> 00:21:02.160
your hand. Well, I was, uh, you know, Christopher to kind of your point with the gal with the

368
00:21:02.160 --> 00:21:06.160
questions and all that. I actually, well, I learned this week,

369
00:21:08.320 --> 00:21:12.400
you know, because I have been matching as well. I learned that I have to pull it out of the,

370
00:21:12.400 --> 00:21:17.920
um, the serious thing because I met somebody who was actually really amazing,

371
00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:24.880
but she kept, but I, I kept just matching it and I'm like, okay, but I, I, I, I didn't pull it back

372
00:21:24.880 --> 00:21:30.560
to fun. Yeah. And you could tell that. And I, I, you know, and I, I was like, I need to bring it

373
00:21:30.560 --> 00:21:34.880
back to fun and light, you know? And she's like, you know what, I just can't do this dating thing.

374
00:21:34.880 --> 00:21:40.320
And she, she just bounced. Right. And so like, I, um, so that was one of my observations is

375
00:21:40.880 --> 00:21:45.600
most women want to like figure you out and like the first 30 seconds, like, well, in my, like my

376
00:21:45.600 --> 00:21:49.760
conversations, they want to go super deep and like, Hey, you know, are you going to be a good,

377
00:21:49.840 --> 00:21:56.560
you know, and, but to keep it fun. And, um, and I mean, I know I used to be the, uh, that,

378
00:21:56.560 --> 00:22:02.000
that guy who was like, Hey, what about this? Well, cause I was told that you have to be honoring

379
00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:07.280
and you need to find out certain things so you don't dishonor them. But then reality is keep it

380
00:22:07.280 --> 00:22:12.960
fun. Learn as you go. Um, I wish I had done that because she was pretty cool. Um, but you know,

381
00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:16.400
she just got overwhelmed. I was a little overwhelmed and I have a pretty well,

382
00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:19.600
and you bring up a good point, Mike, because I think.

383
00:22:22.080 --> 00:22:29.360
In best case scenario, the guy, and this is kind of a principle and it's hard to navigate because

384
00:22:29.360 --> 00:22:33.440
of the, of the culture we live in, because there's a lot of things that go against this grain,

385
00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:40.240
but the guy really has the opportunity to regulate the conversation. Like you're saying,

386
00:22:40.800 --> 00:22:47.280
like, sometimes it can be, you know, too silly and it can be not serious enough because it's

387
00:22:47.280 --> 00:22:51.760
kind of like, you don't want to get strung along, but at the same time, you also don't

388
00:22:51.760 --> 00:22:56.480
want to go like super deep in the first conversation, the first situation or the

389
00:22:56.480 --> 00:23:01.920
first or too early in that. And so what, what you're bringing up, both of you guys kind of

390
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:07.520
like in your analogies is kind of like, you have the opportunity. This is where most guys,

391
00:23:07.520 --> 00:23:13.280
I think don't feel comfortable. It's because they don't have the confidence to regulate the

392
00:23:13.280 --> 00:23:18.240
conversation because like Mike, you're saying like, well, I was taught to like honor her and

393
00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:21.520
like, you know, be sensitive and all that kind of stuff. And so you like, you don't want to come

394
00:23:21.520 --> 00:23:27.280
across too strong. So you don't want to become across as too authoritative or whatever, too

395
00:23:27.280 --> 00:23:35.920
manly or too whatever. It's just like, well, no, actually, if you, if you come into the situation

396
00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:44.240
with knowledge, understanding I'm, I'm my role as the male or as the masculine,

397
00:23:44.960 --> 00:23:52.560
you have an opportunity to bring regulation to the conversation. So therefore you can be

398
00:23:52.560 --> 00:23:58.960
level-headed about it. So like, if the conversation needs more levity, you bring the levity. If the

399
00:23:58.960 --> 00:24:03.440
conversation needs a little bit more like gravitational, like, Hey, we're getting a little

400
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:11.920
silly, not silly, like as in, you know, haha, funny, but silly as in like, this is, you know,

401
00:24:11.920 --> 00:24:20.480
going away. That's going to be not good, not proper, not like not wholesome, like not whatever

402
00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:27.040
you can bring the regulation to that, you know, and I think women for the most part,

403
00:24:28.000 --> 00:24:34.160
I think they'll respond to that. And the ones that won't respond to that are the ones that,

404
00:24:34.160 --> 00:24:37.440
you know, are, are probably dealing with their own heart wounds. They're probably

405
00:24:37.440 --> 00:24:40.560
dealing with their own trigger points. They're probably dealing with their own thing,

406
00:24:41.280 --> 00:24:53.600
but here's the thing you as the man can decide, Hey, there's something about this woman that I

407
00:24:53.600 --> 00:24:59.760
like. I'm enjoying. I want to get to know, but I'm going to have to regulate this and it's okay to

408
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.000
regulate because I can bring the masculine to it.

409
00:25:03.000 --> 00:25:05.320
I can bring the sort of the gravitas,

410
00:25:05.320 --> 00:25:08.920
the weight to it when it needs to be.

411
00:25:08.920 --> 00:25:10.720
But you have to have your wits about you.

412
00:25:10.720 --> 00:25:15.000
You can't just be caught up in your emotions

413
00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:20.000
and you can't be caught up in lack of confidence.

414
00:25:20.220 --> 00:25:22.960
So that's why when you're trained,

415
00:25:22.960 --> 00:25:24.520
like Christopher, you're using like,

416
00:25:24.520 --> 00:25:26.560
hey, I'm just gonna trust this process.

417
00:25:26.560 --> 00:25:30.240
You found some confidence in that, that's good.

418
00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:32.680
That's where you can then in the next instance,

419
00:25:32.680 --> 00:25:35.320
you can bring a level of confidence to know,

420
00:25:35.320 --> 00:25:37.600
hey, this is kind of how this is gonna go.

421
00:25:37.600 --> 00:25:39.500
This is how this is supposed to go.

422
00:25:39.500 --> 00:25:41.520
And I'm gonna kind of walk this line

423
00:25:41.520 --> 00:25:45.300
and help us keep on that productive path.

424
00:25:45.300 --> 00:25:49.800
That's just where your male masculine side

425
00:25:49.800 --> 00:25:52.860
can be helpful in this process.

426
00:25:52.900 --> 00:25:56.660
Rather than you have the feminine,

427
00:25:56.660 --> 00:25:59.780
which they're gonna be like emotional all over the map

428
00:25:59.780 --> 00:26:02.660
and whatever, or there might be a little bit intimidated,

429
00:26:02.660 --> 00:26:05.100
a little bit fearful, a little bit this, a little bit that.

430
00:26:05.100 --> 00:26:09.100
This is where you can sort of bring in the level

431
00:26:09.100 --> 00:26:12.900
to the relationship and begin there

432
00:26:12.900 --> 00:26:16.740
if it's worth going to the next step.

433
00:26:16.740 --> 00:26:19.820
Like, again, it's like, it's a yes until it's a no.

434
00:26:19.820 --> 00:26:22.220
There were some things about Jackie,

435
00:26:22.220 --> 00:26:25.220
given our situations,

436
00:26:26.660 --> 00:26:30.980
what we were coming out of in our life points,

437
00:26:30.980 --> 00:26:34.060
we were coming through major, major transition when we met.

438
00:26:34.940 --> 00:26:35.940
And we kind of knew it,

439
00:26:35.940 --> 00:26:39.140
but we also didn't kind of know it in the sense.

440
00:26:39.140 --> 00:26:41.220
I mean, I didn't know her story that much, right?

441
00:26:41.220 --> 00:26:42.780
She didn't know my story much.

442
00:26:42.780 --> 00:26:45.820
We just kind of knew the sort of the surface points.

443
00:26:45.820 --> 00:26:50.820
And so there were some things that like weren't ideal.

444
00:26:50.820 --> 00:26:51.900
They weren't perfect.

445
00:26:52.580 --> 00:26:54.700
They were a little out of my comfort zone.

446
00:26:54.700 --> 00:26:56.460
I had been married pretty much all my life

447
00:26:56.460 --> 00:26:59.820
and dated the one girl all the way from junior high school

448
00:26:59.820 --> 00:27:00.660
and married her.

449
00:27:00.660 --> 00:27:03.700
So I didn't have any experience dating.

450
00:27:03.700 --> 00:27:06.460
I didn't have any experience talking to other women,

451
00:27:06.460 --> 00:27:09.620
especially a beautiful woman standing in front of me,

452
00:27:09.620 --> 00:27:10.860
giving me the time of day.

453
00:27:10.860 --> 00:27:14.020
Like that was like blowing my mind, you know,

454
00:27:14.020 --> 00:27:15.260
with this person.

455
00:27:15.260 --> 00:27:20.260
Jackie is a formidable force of femininity.

456
00:27:20.460 --> 00:27:22.780
She's not just some wallflower, right?

457
00:27:22.780 --> 00:27:24.820
So you can imagine like,

458
00:27:24.820 --> 00:27:28.220
here I am the math teacher with a tie,

459
00:27:28.220 --> 00:27:30.020
religious little church boy.

460
00:27:30.020 --> 00:27:31.340
And I'm talking to this hot chick

461
00:27:31.340 --> 00:27:32.580
who's my next door neighbor.

462
00:27:32.580 --> 00:27:36.900
I mean, that's recipe for intimidation, right?

463
00:27:36.900 --> 00:27:38.980
But at the same time,

464
00:27:38.980 --> 00:27:42.540
I was also at a stage in my life where like,

465
00:27:42.540 --> 00:27:46.420
I was willing to sort of be a little bit on the edge.

466
00:27:46.420 --> 00:27:48.580
I was willing to like,

467
00:27:48.580 --> 00:27:51.340
I was willing to gamble a little bit.

468
00:27:51.340 --> 00:27:56.340
And so God was very provisional in that whole story.

469
00:27:57.660 --> 00:27:59.140
But I didn't know that.

470
00:28:01.100 --> 00:28:03.540
It's hard to tell the story in retrospect

471
00:28:03.540 --> 00:28:08.540
because and put yourself in my shoes telling my story,

472
00:28:08.660 --> 00:28:10.740
because my story is like,

473
00:28:10.740 --> 00:28:12.740
now I was 20 years old and I married

474
00:28:12.740 --> 00:28:14.900
and we're doing all this great stuff.

475
00:28:14.900 --> 00:28:19.300
But again, I didn't know any of that in the moment.

476
00:28:19.300 --> 00:28:20.460
I didn't know any of it.

477
00:28:20.460 --> 00:28:22.620
I didn't know it was gonna work out.

478
00:28:22.620 --> 00:28:25.060
I didn't know she was amazing

479
00:28:26.140 --> 00:28:27.340
in the way she's amazing now,

480
00:28:27.340 --> 00:28:30.300
because that actually didn't start revealing itself

481
00:28:30.300 --> 00:28:33.700
until a year after we got married.

482
00:28:35.740 --> 00:28:37.020
So I'm just telling you,

483
00:28:37.020 --> 00:28:38.820
I get where you're coming from.

484
00:28:38.820 --> 00:28:42.020
Like I was rolling the dice in some of these things.

485
00:28:42.020 --> 00:28:44.900
So I kind of had to like regulate,

486
00:28:44.900 --> 00:28:49.900
like too fast, too slow, all this, but I was into her.

487
00:28:49.900 --> 00:28:51.340
I enjoyed her company.

488
00:28:51.340 --> 00:28:54.300
I enjoyed how she, I enjoyed her looks.

489
00:28:54.300 --> 00:28:57.140
I enjoyed her personality.

490
00:28:57.140 --> 00:28:58.300
She was fun.

491
00:28:59.500 --> 00:29:01.980
And we had a good time.

492
00:29:03.620 --> 00:29:05.860
So when you're into someone,

493
00:29:05.860 --> 00:29:08.220
but you have, there's something about the other person

494
00:29:08.220 --> 00:29:09.460
that's kind of making you nervous,

495
00:29:09.460 --> 00:29:12.620
kind of like, oh, is this gonna be like,

496
00:29:12.620 --> 00:29:14.300
how's this gonna work out?

497
00:29:14.300 --> 00:29:18.260
It's okay to go through that and regulate a little bit

498
00:29:19.740 --> 00:29:21.460
and do that.

499
00:29:21.460 --> 00:29:25.100
It's a yes until it becomes an absolute no.

500
00:29:26.460 --> 00:29:29.420
Now, if you get down the road

501
00:29:29.420 --> 00:29:31.180
and you're like, this person,

502
00:29:31.180 --> 00:29:33.260
I'm just not really gelling with this person.

503
00:29:33.260 --> 00:29:36.060
It's just not, that's not doing it.

504
00:29:36.140 --> 00:29:39.980
I mean, and it's not predicated just on looks alone,

505
00:29:39.980 --> 00:29:42.780
but you're just not enjoying this person

506
00:29:42.780 --> 00:29:46.460
that you're getting to know after one or two or three times,

507
00:29:46.460 --> 00:29:49.700
then that can be a no and it's okay to move on.

508
00:29:50.700 --> 00:29:53.140
And then when you're in these level one relationships

509
00:29:53.140 --> 00:29:56.260
or level two relationships where there's no exclusivity,

510
00:29:56.260 --> 00:30:01.260
there's no, like I'm deciding to commit to exclusivity.

511
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.440
date this person and you're in that discovery process,

512
00:30:04.440 --> 00:30:09.440
it is okay to be full of discovery, full of wonder,

513
00:30:09.760 --> 00:30:13.360
full of anticipation, full of all the stuff of like,

514
00:30:13.360 --> 00:30:15.000
what is the possibility here?

515
00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:18.280
What is the curiosity?

516
00:30:18.280 --> 00:30:22.160
What is, you know, let's find out.

517
00:30:22.160 --> 00:30:24.080
You got to go the distance to find out.

518
00:30:24.080 --> 00:30:25.200
And I think that's kind of like

519
00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:27.240
what we're talking about here.

520
00:30:27.240 --> 00:30:28.880
Does any of this resonate?

521
00:30:28.880 --> 00:30:33.480
Yeah, can I jump in real quick with a tool that I used?

522
00:30:33.480 --> 00:30:37.160
So, you know, she asked a couple of questions

523
00:30:37.160 --> 00:30:38.960
where I was like, hey, you know what?

524
00:30:38.960 --> 00:30:42.200
That is kind of, that's something I would talk in person

525
00:30:42.200 --> 00:30:44.080
on a date, like, you know, like when we're chatting

526
00:30:44.080 --> 00:30:47.120
face to face, over the phone, through chat to chat.

527
00:30:47.120 --> 00:30:51.560
So you can set lines and boundaries in how you do that.

528
00:30:51.560 --> 00:30:54.680
But you guys, I don't know about you,

529
00:30:54.680 --> 00:30:56.760
but maybe you guys are better at this than me,

530
00:30:56.800 --> 00:30:59.880
but you don't have to figure it all out immediately.

531
00:30:59.880 --> 00:31:00.720
Yeah.

532
00:31:00.720 --> 00:31:03.960
And I think if you're trying to figure it out immediately,

533
00:31:03.960 --> 00:31:05.400
it just is overwhelming.

534
00:31:05.400 --> 00:31:08.320
And they don't remember how,

535
00:31:09.480 --> 00:31:10.600
they remember how they felt.

536
00:31:10.600 --> 00:31:11.920
They don't remember what you said,

537
00:31:11.920 --> 00:31:13.960
but they remember how you felt about what you said.

538
00:31:13.960 --> 00:31:15.400
How you make them feel.

539
00:31:15.400 --> 00:31:16.240
Right?

540
00:31:16.240 --> 00:31:18.480
And so you got to keep that in mind too,

541
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:21.800
is like our goal in leading is, hey, you know what?

542
00:31:21.800 --> 00:31:25.600
I'm going to, can we punt, you don't say punt,

543
00:31:25.640 --> 00:31:27.640
you know, can we chat about that when we date?

544
00:31:27.640 --> 00:31:29.400
You know, that's a date kind of question.

545
00:31:29.400 --> 00:31:32.400
Let's have some fun on here, or let's, you know,

546
00:31:32.400 --> 00:31:36.880
and just, and don't, and like Christopher, you said,

547
00:31:36.880 --> 00:31:40.440
like, keep it lighter.

548
00:31:40.440 --> 00:31:43.160
You know, I mean, especially if they're going heavy,

549
00:31:43.160 --> 00:31:45.080
then go like, hey, let's go out on a date.

550
00:31:45.080 --> 00:31:47.680
We can chat about that on a date, or having fun,

551
00:31:47.680 --> 00:31:51.320
or hey, and just switch it up.

552
00:31:51.320 --> 00:31:53.120
But like, you guys don't have to,

553
00:31:53.120 --> 00:31:54.480
you can punt to in person.

554
00:31:54.480 --> 00:31:57.400
In person, like heavy duty conversations

555
00:31:57.400 --> 00:32:01.520
are better done in person, and not over a phone,

556
00:32:01.520 --> 00:32:05.280
over things, so I would highly say,

557
00:32:05.280 --> 00:32:07.600
hey, you know, that's something I talk about in person.

558
00:32:07.600 --> 00:32:10.320
So just, you know.

559
00:32:10.320 --> 00:32:12.120
I tend to, for some reason, I attract,

560
00:32:12.120 --> 00:32:14.120
this is like the third one I have.

561
00:32:14.120 --> 00:32:16.040
I tend to attract counselors,

562
00:32:16.040 --> 00:32:18.520
and maybe God's trying to fix me.

563
00:32:18.520 --> 00:32:22.680
But she's like the third counselor-like person

564
00:32:23.120 --> 00:32:27.120
I've been dating, and so she's full on.

565
00:32:27.120 --> 00:32:29.080
She's got the books, and the knowledge,

566
00:32:29.080 --> 00:32:32.720
and the certificates, and doctorates to back it all up,

567
00:32:32.720 --> 00:32:37.720
and I'm like, hey, how you feel about Malcolm in the middle?

568
00:32:38.480 --> 00:32:40.760
I'm like, can we not dig down

569
00:32:40.760 --> 00:32:43.640
onto like my deep-seated dramas right now?

570
00:32:43.640 --> 00:32:46.360
Like, I don't know your last name.

571
00:32:46.360 --> 00:32:48.400
Yeah, exactly.

572
00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:49.560
Bro, keep it light, man.

573
00:32:49.560 --> 00:32:51.160
Let's have some fun.

574
00:32:51.160 --> 00:32:52.000
I love that.

575
00:32:53.080 --> 00:32:54.080
That's really good.

576
00:32:55.400 --> 00:32:56.240
Christopher went away.

577
00:32:56.240 --> 00:32:57.560
I don't know what happened to him.

578
00:32:59.800 --> 00:33:02.280
Might've just kicked, his internet might've kicked off.

579
00:33:03.240 --> 00:33:04.640
It's good, good stuff, guys.

580
00:33:07.000 --> 00:33:07.840
What do you know?

581
00:33:07.840 --> 00:33:08.680
So yeah, you just kicked off.

582
00:33:08.680 --> 00:33:10.160
Sorry, I kicked myself, sorry.

583
00:33:10.160 --> 00:33:11.240
That's all right, bro.

584
00:33:13.040 --> 00:33:14.520
Man, this is a good conversation.

585
00:33:14.520 --> 00:33:15.800
What else is going on, guys?

586
00:33:15.800 --> 00:33:17.640
Anybody want to contribute to this?

587
00:33:17.640 --> 00:33:18.800
Got something for us?

588
00:33:23.680 --> 00:33:24.520
Nobody.

589
00:33:25.360 --> 00:33:26.440
I'll go ahead.

590
00:33:26.440 --> 00:33:27.280
Go ahead, dude.

591
00:33:27.280 --> 00:33:28.920
If my reception holds up,

592
00:33:28.920 --> 00:33:31.320
because I'm driving all over the place right now.

593
00:33:31.320 --> 00:33:34.280
So, and kind of getting out

594
00:33:34.280 --> 00:33:35.760
into the Pennsylvania mountains here,

595
00:33:35.760 --> 00:33:40.760
but I guess I just wanted to share some wins.

596
00:33:40.760 --> 00:33:42.960
Like yesterday, I made the most money ever

597
00:33:42.960 --> 00:33:46.280
in my current place of employment.

598
00:33:46.280 --> 00:33:47.120
Awesome.

599
00:33:47.120 --> 00:33:51.080
So, and it required working a lot of hours,

600
00:33:51.280 --> 00:33:53.320
it required working a lot of hours,

601
00:33:53.320 --> 00:33:55.200
but that's another win too,

602
00:33:55.200 --> 00:34:00.200
because I see that my nervous system's coming back online.

603
00:34:00.560 --> 00:34:02.960
Before, I couldn't do that without, you know,

604
00:34:02.960 --> 00:34:05.120
having to, you know, sleep the next few days,

605
00:34:05.120 --> 00:34:07.120
working like 15 hours, so.

606
00:34:07.120 --> 00:34:08.600
Wow. Anyway.

607
00:34:08.600 --> 00:34:09.440
So. Awesome.

608
00:34:09.440 --> 00:34:10.280
Good, man.

609
00:34:10.280 --> 00:34:11.120
That's good news.

610
00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:13.960
So that's a big win.

611
00:34:13.960 --> 00:34:15.480
My other concern is this.

612
00:34:15.480 --> 00:34:19.000
It's just, I think the thing that's getting me stuck

613
00:34:19.040 --> 00:34:22.560
is I've got some kind of internal conflict going on.

614
00:34:22.560 --> 00:34:26.120
Like, you know, I believe in my head

615
00:34:26.120 --> 00:34:28.480
that moving forward with, you know,

616
00:34:28.480 --> 00:34:29.400
reaching out to women

617
00:34:29.400 --> 00:34:31.000
and finding the right one's a good thing,

618
00:34:31.000 --> 00:34:33.600
but in my heart, I'm just like,

619
00:34:33.600 --> 00:34:35.199
the brakes are on too much.

620
00:34:35.199 --> 00:34:38.000
So I kind of look at it like,

621
00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:40.120
at a scale of one to 10,

622
00:34:40.120 --> 00:34:41.760
maybe before my last relationship

623
00:34:41.760 --> 00:34:42.600
or at the beginning of it,

624
00:34:42.600 --> 00:34:44.320
I was at a seven out of 10 of interest

625
00:34:44.320 --> 00:34:45.400
of pursuing something like that.

626
00:34:45.400 --> 00:34:47.560
And I just feel like I'm stuck at a three

627
00:34:47.560 --> 00:34:50.040
because the last relationship was abusive,

628
00:34:50.040 --> 00:34:53.920
but I can relate to the whole overthinking thing

629
00:34:53.920 --> 00:34:56.400
and the drama and all that.

630
00:34:56.400 --> 00:34:58.840
And like, I don't, you know,

631
00:34:58.840 --> 00:35:00.400
I don't want to be the woman.

632
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.760
in the relationships, so to speak.

633
00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:06.400
I need to be the rock and not all over the place.

634
00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:11.400
So anyway, so I guess God's working on that,

635
00:35:12.960 --> 00:35:16.000
but I mean, three things have come up lately

636
00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:17.600
that are really helping me.

637
00:35:17.600 --> 00:35:19.920
It's just lately in the past couple of days,

638
00:35:19.920 --> 00:35:22.920
I haven't had much time to really do much with it,

639
00:35:22.920 --> 00:35:27.920
but just working with a attachment style relationship

640
00:35:30.040 --> 00:35:32.720
with a style coach, also realizing and working

641
00:35:32.720 --> 00:35:37.720
on past church wounds, plus also working on,

642
00:35:40.840 --> 00:35:41.920
what would be the other one?

643
00:35:41.920 --> 00:35:44.640
Oh, money, money wounds.

644
00:35:44.640 --> 00:35:46.680
Like to me, that's my three-stranded cord

645
00:35:46.680 --> 00:35:49.160
that once it's dealt with, will be strong in the right way,

646
00:35:49.160 --> 00:35:51.720
not easily broken, so yeah.

647
00:35:51.720 --> 00:35:52.560
Anyway.

648
00:35:55.800 --> 00:35:58.480
You said church wounds, what was the first one?

649
00:36:00.800 --> 00:36:03.880
It was, I'm working with the attachment style coach,

650
00:36:03.880 --> 00:36:07.560
so attachment style wounds, which I think is like

651
00:36:07.560 --> 00:36:09.400
even more foundational than the money wounds.

652
00:36:09.400 --> 00:36:11.240
I think the money wounds and the church wounds

653
00:36:11.240 --> 00:36:12.520
kind of sit on top of that,

654
00:36:12.520 --> 00:36:15.240
but they're pretty far deep as well.

655
00:36:15.240 --> 00:36:17.320
What's the church wound?

656
00:36:19.280 --> 00:36:24.280
Well, the most recent church,

657
00:36:25.680 --> 00:36:27.880
I kind of left like a year and a half ago

658
00:36:27.880 --> 00:36:31.720
because it was just kind of a religious situation.

659
00:36:31.720 --> 00:36:33.640
The leader kept saying going on

660
00:36:33.640 --> 00:36:36.840
with this not so good situation ship.

661
00:36:36.840 --> 00:36:39.040
I'm really struggling with whether I should go back

662
00:36:39.040 --> 00:36:42.040
one more time and just break.

663
00:36:43.280 --> 00:36:44.160
Ask, you know.

664
00:36:44.160 --> 00:36:47.320
The leader of the church had a relationship situation

665
00:36:47.320 --> 00:36:49.320
that wasn't good, is that what you said?

666
00:36:51.080 --> 00:36:52.200
No, no, no.

667
00:36:52.200 --> 00:36:57.200
Like they were, like because of where I was at

668
00:36:57.760 --> 00:37:00.000
and their wounds were similar to mine,

669
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:01.600
like unhealed wounds and they,

670
00:37:01.600 --> 00:37:03.520
unhealed wounds have blind spots.

671
00:37:03.520 --> 00:37:04.720
It caused a big mess

672
00:37:04.720 --> 00:37:06.800
and I wasn't the greatest communicator.

673
00:37:06.800 --> 00:37:10.360
So all that combined made a perfect storm.

674
00:37:10.360 --> 00:37:11.520
You just didn't find,

675
00:37:11.520 --> 00:37:13.560
eventually you just didn't find favor there.

676
00:37:13.560 --> 00:37:15.440
Is that what you're saying?

677
00:37:15.440 --> 00:37:20.440
Well, I left because I felt extremely unsafe,

678
00:37:20.480 --> 00:37:22.280
which is not normal for a guy to feel,

679
00:37:22.280 --> 00:37:25.560
like a woman experiences that a lot.

680
00:37:25.560 --> 00:37:30.560
So I guess I learned the hard way how a woman sees life,

681
00:37:30.560 --> 00:37:35.560
but yeah, that's why I left.

682
00:37:35.720 --> 00:37:38.080
Am I answering your question?

683
00:37:38.080 --> 00:37:39.280
Okay, and then money wounds.

684
00:37:39.280 --> 00:37:40.880
I'm just trying to really quick,

685
00:37:40.880 --> 00:37:42.760
do a quick thing real quick.

686
00:37:42.760 --> 00:37:47.760
The money wounds is just struggle

687
00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:51.040
to make the kind of money that you wanna make.

688
00:37:51.040 --> 00:37:52.640
Is that basically?

689
00:37:52.840 --> 00:37:57.160
Well, when I finally had real breakthrough in it,

690
00:37:57.160 --> 00:37:59.280
then the situationship came in

691
00:37:59.280 --> 00:38:04.040
and it left me devastated financially at the end of it.

692
00:38:04.960 --> 00:38:08.880
Because this leader was convinced

693
00:38:08.880 --> 00:38:12.080
that this person was legit and it was a scammer

694
00:38:12.080 --> 00:38:15.000
and they thought it was just, you know.

695
00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:16.560
They stole a bunch of money from you,

696
00:38:16.560 --> 00:38:19.040
the person you were in relationship with?

697
00:38:19.040 --> 00:38:22.200
Well, they manipulated it out of me

698
00:38:22.720 --> 00:38:26.920
because what happens in those relationships is.

699
00:38:31.600 --> 00:38:33.600
Think we're losing connection with you.

700
00:38:35.240 --> 00:38:37.960
Stay long distance, chat and all that.

701
00:38:37.960 --> 00:38:41.720
And it was just totally, but the thing I was so broken,

702
00:38:41.720 --> 00:38:44.680
like I took a break from this.

703
00:38:48.960 --> 00:38:49.920
Okay, so we're.

704
00:38:49.920 --> 00:38:51.960
Break it up, Dave, we can't hear you, bro.

705
00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:53.640
We're breaking up, Dave.

706
00:38:53.640 --> 00:38:54.640
We're breaking up, Dave, we can't hear you.

707
00:38:56.120 --> 00:38:59.280
If you can hear us, I get the.

708
00:38:59.280 --> 00:39:02.000
I can hear you, I can hear you, I can hear you.

709
00:39:02.000 --> 00:39:02.840
Can you hear me?

710
00:39:02.840 --> 00:39:03.680
I can hear you.

711
00:39:03.680 --> 00:39:05.520
You're breaking up, so we're.

712
00:39:05.520 --> 00:39:06.360
But yeah, if you can hear us.

713
00:39:06.360 --> 00:39:07.360
I can hear you.

714
00:39:07.360 --> 00:39:08.200
That's fine.

715
00:39:08.200 --> 00:39:09.680
I can hear you.

716
00:39:09.680 --> 00:39:10.520
Cool.

717
00:39:10.520 --> 00:39:12.080
Yeah, I can hear you.

718
00:39:12.080 --> 00:39:12.920
Okay, man.

719
00:39:13.760 --> 00:39:14.920
Yeah, no, I get.

720
00:39:14.920 --> 00:39:17.200
I just kind of wanted to get the gist of that situation,

721
00:39:17.200 --> 00:39:21.440
kind of know more about your situation.

722
00:39:22.080 --> 00:39:24.120
Yeah, I'm sorry that you experienced all that.

723
00:39:24.120 --> 00:39:26.080
And I really am,

724
00:39:26.080 --> 00:39:28.720
because a lot of people have experienced the same thing.

725
00:39:28.720 --> 00:39:31.280
And it's just not pleasant,

726
00:39:31.280 --> 00:39:35.200
especially just to put place trust in people

727
00:39:35.200 --> 00:39:36.240
and they take advantage.

728
00:39:36.240 --> 00:39:37.760
And that's just, that's not cool.

729
00:39:37.760 --> 00:39:38.920
It's not good.

730
00:39:38.920 --> 00:39:40.280
It's obviously not godly.

731
00:39:41.440 --> 00:39:42.880
And at the same time,

732
00:39:44.640 --> 00:39:46.000
what I am glad about is,

733
00:39:46.000 --> 00:39:48.680
is that you're not in that situation anymore.

734
00:39:48.680 --> 00:39:50.160
I love that.

735
00:39:50.200 --> 00:39:52.600
And I love the fact that,

736
00:39:52.600 --> 00:39:54.840
you've been in this community for a while

737
00:39:54.840 --> 00:39:59.160
and I've seen you do nothing but progress and grow.

738
00:39:59.160 --> 00:40:00.080
So that's.

739
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.160
that's the good part of it, and I'm happy for that.

740
00:40:02.160 --> 00:40:04.640
I love the fact that you'd said the other day,

741
00:40:04.640 --> 00:40:07.240
said that yesterday or today,

742
00:40:07.240 --> 00:40:11.640
said was where most money you'd ever made in a long time.

743
00:40:11.640 --> 00:40:13.240
So I love that.

744
00:40:13.240 --> 00:40:14.280
It's awesome.

745
00:40:14.280 --> 00:40:15.600
I'm gonna celebrate those wins

746
00:40:15.600 --> 00:40:18.480
and celebrate the progress that you're making.

747
00:40:18.480 --> 00:40:19.920
So that's really cool.

748
00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:22.400
Thank you so much for sharing, Dave.

749
00:40:22.400 --> 00:40:23.520
Did you hear me now or no?

750
00:40:23.520 --> 00:40:25.080
Cause I'm on top of a hill now.

751
00:40:25.080 --> 00:40:26.720
Yeah, I can hear you.

752
00:40:26.720 --> 00:40:27.560
Okay, yeah.

753
00:40:27.560 --> 00:40:29.440
I just wanna let you know I caught all that,

754
00:40:29.480 --> 00:40:33.520
but I'm gonna have to just end it right here anyway.

755
00:40:33.520 --> 00:40:36.280
But yeah, I mean, yeah.

756
00:40:36.280 --> 00:40:37.760
I don't know if there's something I need to dive deep

757
00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:39.800
around with somebody to talk about or not,

758
00:40:39.800 --> 00:40:41.840
but yeah, cause I'm tired of being stuck.

759
00:40:41.840 --> 00:40:42.840
I wanna move forward.

760
00:40:42.840 --> 00:40:43.680
I'm tired of-

761
00:40:43.680 --> 00:40:44.520
Absolutely.

762
00:40:44.520 --> 00:40:46.280
I can hear it in your voice.

763
00:40:46.280 --> 00:40:48.600
I can hear it in your heart.

764
00:40:48.600 --> 00:40:51.520
Yeah, I'm tired of the woman that's waiting for me waiting.

765
00:40:51.520 --> 00:40:53.560
Like, she's waited long enough.

766
00:40:53.560 --> 00:40:54.400
She's waited long enough.

767
00:40:54.400 --> 00:40:55.220
Let's get after it, bro.

768
00:40:55.220 --> 00:40:56.060
Let's get after it.

769
00:40:56.060 --> 00:40:57.080
I love it.

770
00:40:57.080 --> 00:40:58.880
It's the first time I've ever heard excitement

771
00:40:59.320 --> 00:41:00.160
and passion in your voice.

772
00:41:00.160 --> 00:41:00.980
So I love it.

773
00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:03.840
Yeah, thank you.

774
00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:04.680
I appreciate it.

775
00:41:04.680 --> 00:41:05.840
Thanks for the encouragement, David.

776
00:41:05.840 --> 00:41:06.680
I'll let you go now.

777
00:41:06.680 --> 00:41:07.500
Yeah, it's good, man.

778
00:41:07.500 --> 00:41:08.720
I love it.

779
00:41:08.720 --> 00:41:09.840
Thanks for sharing.

780
00:41:11.040 --> 00:41:11.960
You're welcome.

781
00:41:11.960 --> 00:41:12.800
Good stuff.

782
00:41:13.760 --> 00:41:16.200
David, I dropped it in the chat,

783
00:41:16.200 --> 00:41:17.320
and I know you're driving.

784
00:41:17.320 --> 00:41:19.400
They did you in the advanced heart work on Thursday.

785
00:41:19.400 --> 00:41:21.000
They actually covered church wounds,

786
00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:23.600
and it was a good session.

787
00:41:23.600 --> 00:41:25.680
Actually, my first time that I did the advanced heart work.

788
00:41:25.680 --> 00:41:27.420
So if you catch that in replay.

789
00:41:28.420 --> 00:41:29.260
Oh, it's good.

790
00:41:29.260 --> 00:41:31.020
Thanks for posting that, Christopher.

791
00:41:31.020 --> 00:41:31.900
That's awesome.

792
00:41:31.900 --> 00:41:33.060
It's a good suggestion.

793
00:41:33.940 --> 00:41:34.820
Thanks for that.

794
00:41:36.200 --> 00:41:39.300
Yeah, man, that's really hard.

795
00:41:39.300 --> 00:41:41.620
A lot of you, I grew up in church.

796
00:41:41.620 --> 00:41:42.500
I get it.

797
00:41:42.500 --> 00:41:46.060
A lot of us have been a long time

798
00:41:46.060 --> 00:41:48.220
church-associated people,

799
00:41:48.220 --> 00:41:52.220
and it's really brutal

800
00:41:52.220 --> 00:41:56.100
when you're in a bad situation in church, man,

801
00:41:56.100 --> 00:41:58.580
because there's so much trust,

802
00:41:58.580 --> 00:42:01.460
and there's so much belief that you're putting into this.

803
00:42:01.460 --> 00:42:03.140
It's not just like working at a place.

804
00:42:03.140 --> 00:42:05.820
It's not just like people you know.

805
00:42:05.820 --> 00:42:10.180
It's people you're supposed to be really in with,

806
00:42:10.180 --> 00:42:12.940
and it's supposed to be more than just

807
00:42:14.860 --> 00:42:16.340
a gym that you belong to.

808
00:42:16.340 --> 00:42:18.100
It's supposed to be more than that,

809
00:42:18.100 --> 00:42:22.780
and it's supposed to be tied with godliness,

810
00:42:22.780 --> 00:42:27.780
and then when it just turns out to be less than human,

811
00:42:28.940 --> 00:42:30.380
I mean, human is one thing.

812
00:42:30.380 --> 00:42:32.220
Like, humans are not perfect.

813
00:42:32.220 --> 00:42:33.180
Things are not perfect.

814
00:42:33.180 --> 00:42:36.420
Things that humans do and are involved with are not perfect.

815
00:42:36.420 --> 00:42:37.300
We all know that.

816
00:42:37.300 --> 00:42:42.300
We get it, but then when it's less than human

817
00:42:42.740 --> 00:42:45.460
in terms of just human imperfection,

818
00:42:45.460 --> 00:42:48.620
and it's just straight up abusive

819
00:42:48.620 --> 00:42:52.980
and straight up just like just not a good culture,

820
00:42:53.900 --> 00:42:57.300
it's super, super hurtful, super disappointing,

821
00:42:57.300 --> 00:43:02.300
and it's super, like it really affects you for a long time,

822
00:43:03.900 --> 00:43:05.500
and I can attest to that.

823
00:43:05.500 --> 00:43:06.580
I'm a witness to that.

824
00:43:06.580 --> 00:43:08.100
I feel that.

825
00:43:08.100 --> 00:43:09.780
I know what that's like,

826
00:43:09.780 --> 00:43:12.620
and it's really, really frustrating

827
00:43:12.620 --> 00:43:17.100
and really, really can make you angry, so I get it,

828
00:43:18.620 --> 00:43:20.420
but we have to move forward.

829
00:43:21.620 --> 00:43:22.940
We have to move forward.

830
00:43:22.940 --> 00:43:23.900
I don't mean on this call.

831
00:43:23.900 --> 00:43:27.020
What I'm saying is it's like we as men,

832
00:43:27.020 --> 00:43:31.660
we as children of God, the one thing I've learned

833
00:43:31.660 --> 00:43:35.820
going through what I went through in my church experience

834
00:43:35.820 --> 00:43:39.420
is that I can't obviously throw the baby out

835
00:43:39.420 --> 00:43:40.260
with the bathwater.

836
00:43:40.260 --> 00:43:43.340
I can't throw the truth that I learned

837
00:43:43.340 --> 00:43:44.340
in the season of life.

838
00:43:44.740 --> 00:43:48.980
I'm reprocessing that, re-configuring that,

839
00:43:48.980 --> 00:43:52.420
but at the same time, there's still a calling.

840
00:43:52.420 --> 00:43:53.940
There's still a cause.

841
00:43:53.940 --> 00:43:55.740
There's still purpose.

842
00:43:55.740 --> 00:43:58.700
There is still truth to be had.

843
00:43:58.700 --> 00:44:01.420
There is still a life to live.

844
00:44:01.420 --> 00:44:03.900
There is still things to be had.

845
00:44:03.900 --> 00:44:06.420
One thing I'm convinced of more than anything

846
00:44:06.420 --> 00:44:09.620
is that your future, I don't care how old you are,

847
00:44:10.620 --> 00:44:13.820
I don't care how, like maybe like,

848
00:44:13.820 --> 00:44:17.460
well, you know, I'm getting kind of like long in the teeth.

849
00:44:17.460 --> 00:44:20.580
I get, no, it doesn't matter.

850
00:44:20.580 --> 00:44:24.620
There is always something more, something better

851
00:44:24.620 --> 00:44:29.620
for you to reach out for than what you're holding on to,

852
00:44:29.620 --> 00:44:34.620
and so anything that is something you feel like

853
00:44:35.460 --> 00:44:40.460
you want to let go of or not be associated with anymore,

854
00:44:42.100 --> 00:44:47.100
trust me, bro, you have my wholehearted encouragement

855
00:44:47.660 --> 00:44:48.820
to let go.

856
00:44:50.060 --> 00:44:54.260
You have God's permission to let go.

857
00:44:54.260 --> 00:44:57.740
You have Holy Spirit's permission to be free

858
00:44:57.740 --> 00:45:00.180
and release yourself to move.

859
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.200
move on into the better.

860
00:45:04.680 --> 00:45:06.600
And I'm not just talking positivity,

861
00:45:06.600 --> 00:45:11.520
I'm just talking about there is no room,

862
00:45:11.520 --> 00:45:14.800
if you can get to this point in your mind, in your heart,

863
00:45:14.800 --> 00:45:19.800
that there is no room for less than in your life.

864
00:45:20.600 --> 00:45:24.160
You can move into a season of productivity

865
00:45:24.160 --> 00:45:29.120
and a season of progress and a season of gains

866
00:45:29.120 --> 00:45:33.240
in your person, your health, your finances, your journey,

867
00:45:33.240 --> 00:45:36.960
your purpose in life, if you can let go of the past.

868
00:45:39.160 --> 00:45:43.380
You cannot do anything about the past.

869
00:45:43.380 --> 00:45:45.800
And yes, I know it affects you.

870
00:45:45.800 --> 00:45:47.520
Yes, I know it happened.

871
00:45:47.520 --> 00:45:50.720
Yes, I know it's shaped part of like how you are

872
00:45:50.720 --> 00:45:53.160
and how you think and what you do, I get it.

873
00:45:54.160 --> 00:45:58.960
But you have to let go of all the past,

874
00:46:00.080 --> 00:46:05.080
even 10 minutes ago, you can't do anything about it.

875
00:46:05.360 --> 00:46:06.800
You can't take it back.

876
00:46:10.100 --> 00:46:15.100
That's why you can be in a moment of straight up

877
00:46:15.160 --> 00:46:20.160
like rebellion and sin, if you wanna go there,

878
00:46:20.160 --> 00:46:24.560
if you wanna go there, you can be in straight up rebellion

879
00:46:26.840 --> 00:46:31.280
and come to yourself in your senses and go,

880
00:46:31.280 --> 00:46:33.200
I need to have a conversation with God

881
00:46:34.880 --> 00:46:37.280
and talk about it right then and there.

882
00:46:39.320 --> 00:46:41.920
That's one of the points of the prodigal son.

883
00:46:42.840 --> 00:46:46.120
The prodigal son was still, he had the conversation

884
00:46:46.120 --> 00:46:51.120
to himself with God while sitting in the pig pen.

885
00:46:55.560 --> 00:46:59.120
He didn't get out of the pig pen, clean himself up

886
00:46:59.120 --> 00:47:01.080
and start feeling good about himself

887
00:47:01.080 --> 00:47:02.760
and then have a conversation with God

888
00:47:02.760 --> 00:47:04.720
about going back to the father's house.

889
00:47:06.160 --> 00:47:08.000
He literally had the conversation

890
00:47:08.000 --> 00:47:11.040
while he was in the hog pen.

891
00:47:13.040 --> 00:47:14.340
You know what I'm saying?

892
00:47:15.180 --> 00:47:18.980
And I'm not even talking about like trying to be in sin.

893
00:47:18.980 --> 00:47:21.500
I'm just trying to say, I'm just kind of like

894
00:47:21.500 --> 00:47:26.020
juxtaposing this in the worst of the worst.

895
00:47:26.020 --> 00:47:27.260
You know what I'm saying?

896
00:47:28.380 --> 00:47:33.380
So even in your lack, you may not be like,

897
00:47:34.380 --> 00:47:38.100
hey, I'm such a terrible rotten person.

898
00:47:38.100 --> 00:47:41.500
You may just be feeling not your best self.

899
00:47:41.500 --> 00:47:44.280
You just may be feeling not confident.

900
00:47:45.120 --> 00:47:47.000
You may be feeling like less than.

901
00:47:47.000 --> 00:47:48.800
Okay, well that makes it even easier

902
00:47:51.560 --> 00:47:54.560
because you're not having to crawl your way

903
00:47:54.560 --> 00:47:57.720
out of some horrid situation.

904
00:47:57.720 --> 00:48:01.000
You're just not feeling just like there's gotta be more.

905
00:48:01.000 --> 00:48:04.080
And I'm just here to tell you, bro, there is more.

906
00:48:04.080 --> 00:48:07.520
There is advancement.

907
00:48:07.520 --> 00:48:09.640
There is greater purpose.

908
00:48:09.640 --> 00:48:11.800
There is more finances.

909
00:48:11.800 --> 00:48:13.980
There is more of you to be had.

910
00:48:15.600 --> 00:48:17.680
So it's about going after it.

911
00:48:19.280 --> 00:48:23.960
It's like, you know, when you finally wake up

912
00:48:23.960 --> 00:48:25.240
and you decide, you know what?

913
00:48:25.240 --> 00:48:28.360
I'm gonna make my life better.

914
00:48:28.360 --> 00:48:29.560
I'm gonna get in shape.

915
00:48:29.560 --> 00:48:32.080
I'm gonna get a new job.

916
00:48:32.080 --> 00:48:34.480
I'm going to learn a new skillset.

917
00:48:34.480 --> 00:48:37.080
And you just finally decide and make up your mind.

918
00:48:37.080 --> 00:48:38.400
You're gonna do it.

919
00:48:38.400 --> 00:48:40.280
And you're just gonna go after it.

920
00:48:40.280 --> 00:48:42.040
That's the part I'm talking about.

921
00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:47.580
So I just wanna encourage you guys tonight.

922
00:48:48.680 --> 00:48:50.000
Your life is not over.

923
00:48:50.920 --> 00:48:52.080
You are not done.

924
00:48:52.960 --> 00:48:54.760
You can restart.

925
00:48:54.760 --> 00:48:56.560
You can refire.

926
00:48:56.560 --> 00:48:58.960
You can rebrand.

927
00:48:58.960 --> 00:49:02.760
You can go the distance and it can be really good.

928
00:49:04.360 --> 00:49:05.640
Rodney, you raised your hand.

929
00:49:05.640 --> 00:49:07.000
What do you gotta say, bro?

930
00:49:10.640 --> 00:49:12.280
I think he left the room.

931
00:49:12.280 --> 00:49:13.800
He's not sitting in his chair.

932
00:49:13.800 --> 00:49:15.560
Hunter, you got your hand raised.

933
00:49:15.560 --> 00:49:16.400
What'd you got, bro?

934
00:49:16.400 --> 00:49:18.200
Oh, he just got back.

935
00:49:18.200 --> 00:49:22.080
Oh, it's about what I've been thinking in my mind.

936
00:49:22.080 --> 00:49:26.400
I just wanna know is why I'm not seeing anybody at all.

937
00:49:26.400 --> 00:49:27.960
And I'm not even on an app.

938
00:49:27.960 --> 00:49:30.280
I'm thinking, asking myself,

939
00:49:30.280 --> 00:49:32.160
why do I even wanna be in a relationship?

940
00:49:32.160 --> 00:49:34.200
Why do I wanna spearmint when outside of that,

941
00:49:34.200 --> 00:49:36.160
I've been having things going good for me

942
00:49:36.160 --> 00:49:39.880
and I'm already challenging myself on doing jujitsu

943
00:49:40.520 --> 00:49:42.240
or why is it I wanna be in,

944
00:49:42.240 --> 00:49:43.400
if they're not gonna initiate,

945
00:49:43.400 --> 00:49:46.120
if I'm gonna be the one initiating the conversations

946
00:49:46.120 --> 00:49:46.960
all the time?

947
00:49:49.880 --> 00:49:52.320
Well, I mean, why do you want to?

948
00:49:53.720 --> 00:49:55.880
Oh, it's because of prestige.

949
00:49:55.880 --> 00:49:57.480
Though it's because of the prestige

950
00:49:57.480 --> 00:50:00.000
and have family like everybody, personal.

951
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.440
growth or so, and also personal growth.

952
00:50:03.440 --> 00:50:05.520
And I also, it was a goal, but I'm thinking,

953
00:50:05.520 --> 00:50:06.880
you know what, I'm just gonna let,

954
00:50:06.880 --> 00:50:08.280
it's like a prize, like a goal,

955
00:50:08.280 --> 00:50:10.760
like you wanna win a championship or so.

956
00:50:10.760 --> 00:50:13.760
But the problem is, what people don't realize is,

957
00:50:13.760 --> 00:50:15.920
I learned is, rather than just one right now,

958
00:50:15.920 --> 00:50:18.080
you become transformed people.

959
00:50:18.080 --> 00:50:20.160
But the thing is, by the time I received the prize

960
00:50:20.160 --> 00:50:22.120
or the blessing, I'm a changed man.

961
00:50:22.120 --> 00:50:24.320
So basically, I'm just gonna let go of the goal

962
00:50:24.320 --> 00:50:27.480
I had at 20 years old when I dreamed of making

963
00:50:27.480 --> 00:50:29.640
a rat race to make it happen.

964
00:50:29.640 --> 00:50:33.160
But the point is, with God, and really, I said,

965
00:50:33.160 --> 00:50:34.800
God, if you don't help me, you're in big trouble.

966
00:50:34.800 --> 00:50:37.080
And so me saying, I'm going to God with my goals

967
00:50:37.080 --> 00:50:41.000
and earthly agenda as a kid, and ask him the rubber stamp.

968
00:50:41.000 --> 00:50:42.600
Well, now I'm gonna make it the other way around,

969
00:50:42.600 --> 00:50:44.560
is saying, you know what, God,

970
00:50:44.560 --> 00:50:46.280
hey, God, what's happening?

971
00:50:46.280 --> 00:50:48.800
When I figure, you know what, I'm gonna let it go

972
00:50:48.800 --> 00:50:50.200
and leave it to you.

973
00:50:50.200 --> 00:50:53.080
And then I got all these enhanced abilities or so.

974
00:50:53.080 --> 00:50:54.960
I'm thinking, why do I wanna go with some,

975
00:50:54.960 --> 00:50:57.320
build a relationship with someone when they don't have

976
00:50:57.320 --> 00:51:00.800
that connection with me or anything?

977
00:51:00.800 --> 00:51:03.360
So, but instead of just going into despairing,

978
00:51:03.360 --> 00:51:06.080
wallowing in despair, thinking this isn't for me,

979
00:51:06.080 --> 00:51:08.000
this isn't for me, you say, you know what,

980
00:51:08.000 --> 00:51:10.040
what can we do to make it happen?

981
00:51:10.040 --> 00:51:11.680
Let's let go of the here you go.

982
00:51:11.680 --> 00:51:14.640
I mean, you have bad parts and the right spirit

983
00:51:14.640 --> 00:51:16.520
maybe will be with you in those hard times.

984
00:51:16.520 --> 00:51:19.320
But let's think about where would you be?

985
00:51:19.320 --> 00:51:21.360
Basically, every time I try to see somebody,

986
00:51:21.360 --> 00:51:23.000
it ends up being at my expense.

987
00:51:23.000 --> 00:51:25.040
So I figure, life's too short for me

988
00:51:25.040 --> 00:51:26.440
to deal with those things.

989
00:51:27.760 --> 00:51:29.800
Yeah, I can, I also believe, Ander,

990
00:51:29.800 --> 00:51:32.200
that you see the value in the relationship as well.

991
00:51:32.200 --> 00:51:34.640
So I think you see that.

992
00:51:34.640 --> 00:51:36.040
And I think that you,

993
00:51:37.360 --> 00:51:39.360
I think you're pursuing that as well.

994
00:51:39.360 --> 00:51:42.800
So, and it's not just about the goal.

995
00:51:42.800 --> 00:51:45.200
I think you see the value of the relationship.

996
00:51:45.200 --> 00:51:47.280
So I think that's there too.

997
00:51:47.280 --> 00:51:48.760
But I get you, bro.

998
00:51:49.720 --> 00:51:54.720
I think, I have been so impressed and so encouraged

999
00:51:55.080 --> 00:51:57.880
by your processing all this,

1000
00:51:57.880 --> 00:52:00.960
as long as we've been hanging out and knowing

1001
00:52:00.960 --> 00:52:03.880
and many feeling, incredible.

1002
00:52:03.880 --> 00:52:05.840
It's all about, the only thing that's different

1003
00:52:05.840 --> 00:52:08.480
is me understanding why when I got rejected,

1004
00:52:08.480 --> 00:52:11.120
I just seeing them, why would they wanna reject me?

1005
00:52:11.120 --> 00:52:12.440
I can see where they're going at,

1006
00:52:12.440 --> 00:52:15.280
but at the same time receive where they're coming from.

1007
00:52:15.280 --> 00:52:18.160
But now I need to do is figure, you know what,

1008
00:52:18.160 --> 00:52:20.040
if nobody's around, I don't care.

1009
00:52:20.040 --> 00:52:22.040
I'm gonna go out and have fun myself.

1010
00:52:22.040 --> 00:52:22.960
I don't give a crap.

1011
00:52:23.000 --> 00:52:24.520
It's basically thinking,

1012
00:52:24.520 --> 00:52:26.440
why do I even wanna be in one wing?

1013
00:52:26.440 --> 00:52:28.360
I'm not, my parents might,

1014
00:52:28.360 --> 00:52:30.520
cause my parents are in their seventies

1015
00:52:30.520 --> 00:52:32.560
and what did they die before they meet him?

1016
00:52:32.560 --> 00:52:34.520
Last thing I need is to go in a relationship

1017
00:52:34.520 --> 00:52:36.720
and they don't see me and my family or so.

1018
00:52:36.720 --> 00:52:39.480
I'm thinking, I'm seeing yours, but you won't see my end.

1019
00:52:39.480 --> 00:52:41.680
So I don't know why I'm gonna waste my time.

1020
00:52:43.280 --> 00:52:47.720
Well, I agree with Abram.

1021
00:52:47.720 --> 00:52:50.960
Like every experience is preparing you for the next.

1022
00:52:50.960 --> 00:52:53.040
So it's a reality, bro.

1023
00:52:53.040 --> 00:52:55.400
I get you, but I feel you, man.

1024
00:52:55.400 --> 00:52:58.720
You be you though, that's, you know, seriously,

1025
00:52:58.720 --> 00:53:01.280
sometimes you do get frustrated and I get it,

1026
00:53:01.280 --> 00:53:04.160
but at the same time, when you are authentically you,

1027
00:53:04.160 --> 00:53:06.800
that's also when you're most attractive.

1028
00:53:06.800 --> 00:53:11.800
So it's kind of a funny scenario,

1029
00:53:13.440 --> 00:53:15.240
but at the same time,

1030
00:53:15.240 --> 00:53:17.760
more people than not have found their significant other

1031
00:53:17.760 --> 00:53:20.040
when they're just kind of like, you know what,

1032
00:53:20.040 --> 00:53:20.880
forget about it.

1033
00:53:21.720 --> 00:53:22.560
I'm just gonna go do me.

1034
00:53:22.560 --> 00:53:25.960
Like, then all of a sudden things start happening.

1035
00:53:25.960 --> 00:53:27.920
So you never know.

1036
00:53:27.920 --> 00:53:29.160
You think when I went abroad,

1037
00:53:29.160 --> 00:53:31.080
I got to go jump up and down and have fun.

1038
00:53:31.080 --> 00:53:32.840
And then the family took a liking to me

1039
00:53:32.840 --> 00:53:35.160
and let me come to their house anytime.

1040
00:53:35.160 --> 00:53:38.320
Almost like I'm an adopted adult,

1041
00:53:38.320 --> 00:53:39.760
got to mingle with their kid.

1042
00:53:41.040 --> 00:53:42.520
Oh, we'll see what happens.

1043
00:53:42.520 --> 00:53:44.960
Rodney, you came back, brother, you have your hand up.

1044
00:53:44.960 --> 00:53:46.640
What do you got?

1045
00:53:46.640 --> 00:53:48.280
Yeah, just real quick.

1046
00:53:48.280 --> 00:53:50.720
We're probably wrapping up here.

1047
00:53:51.560 --> 00:53:54.320
So I joined this program and I know they say,

1048
00:53:54.320 --> 00:53:57.360
not to date during the hard work thing.

1049
00:53:58.440 --> 00:54:03.440
So I had asked this gal out maybe three, four weeks ago,

1050
00:54:05.240 --> 00:54:08.200
and we kind of went back and forth, never set a date.

1051
00:54:08.200 --> 00:54:10.120
And then she kind of ghosted me.

1052
00:54:10.120 --> 00:54:12.760
And then I started this program.

1053
00:54:12.760 --> 00:54:15.960
And like literally the next day she gets back to me

1054
00:54:15.960 --> 00:54:20.040
and is like, hey, wanna get together this week?

1055
00:54:20.080 --> 00:54:24.080
And I thought about it and I said, well, no,

1056
00:54:24.080 --> 00:54:25.320
I can't do that.

1057
00:54:25.320 --> 00:54:26.360
I'm doing this hard work.

1058
00:54:26.360 --> 00:54:28.280
So I got to tell her no.

1059
00:54:28.280 --> 00:54:33.280
So I did, I told her like, hey, I'm swamped this month.

1060
00:54:33.360 --> 00:54:36.480
I can't meet with you, but I can meet with you in May.

1061
00:54:37.760 --> 00:54:40.080
And she comes back to me and says,

1062
00:54:40.080 --> 00:54:44.200
oh, well, I'm actually moving out of the area

1063
00:54:44.200 --> 00:54:45.840
at the end of the month.

1064
00:54:45.840 --> 00:54:50.840
And so I definitely wanna see her before she leaves.

1065
00:54:51.320 --> 00:54:54.880
So we are gonna be meeting later this week.

1066
00:54:54.880 --> 00:54:58.240
I've known this gal, gosh, a couple of years.

1067
00:54:59.520 --> 00:55:00.360
She's quite-

1068
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.200
You already know her.

1069
00:55:01.200 --> 00:55:02.560
Yeah, yeah.

1070
00:55:02.560 --> 00:55:04.900
We've never got together for coffee or anything,

1071
00:55:04.900 --> 00:55:09.080
but I've known her from church for a couple of years now.

1072
00:55:09.080 --> 00:55:10.360
She's quite a bit younger than me.

1073
00:55:10.360 --> 00:55:13.160
That's why I never really asked her out before.

1074
00:55:13.160 --> 00:55:14.960
But yeah, it's just an opportunity

1075
00:55:14.960 --> 00:55:17.400
to just kind of get to know her.

1076
00:55:17.400 --> 00:55:19.600
Maybe nothing will come of it, because she's moving.

1077
00:55:19.600 --> 00:55:23.800
Well, she's not moving that far away, maybe like two hours.

1078
00:55:23.800 --> 00:55:28.240
But anyways, yeah, it'll, anyways,

1079
00:55:28.240 --> 00:55:32.160
maybe you guys can keep me in prayer for that.

1080
00:55:32.160 --> 00:55:35.600
Just be some good practice.

1081
00:55:35.600 --> 00:55:37.440
Absolutely, no, I really appreciate sharing that.

1082
00:55:37.440 --> 00:55:39.040
No, it is, you know, yeah,

1083
00:55:39.040 --> 00:55:41.320
we recommend taking the dating spaticle,

1084
00:55:41.320 --> 00:55:45.800
because it is important to put full attention,

1085
00:55:45.800 --> 00:55:47.760
you know, for a period of time on your heart work,

1086
00:55:47.760 --> 00:55:49.760
especially if you're going through it for the first time.

1087
00:55:49.760 --> 00:55:50.600
So we do that.

1088
00:55:50.600 --> 00:55:53.200
I mean, it's not a hard and fast rule,

1089
00:55:53.200 --> 00:55:54.600
but at the same time,

1090
00:55:54.600 --> 00:55:57.400
this situation kind of seems like understanding.

1091
00:55:58.480 --> 00:56:00.480
Yeah, just, you know, have fun.

1092
00:56:02.160 --> 00:56:05.720
Keep, you know, as you're going out

1093
00:56:05.720 --> 00:56:10.440
and getting to know each other, make that transition.

1094
00:56:10.440 --> 00:56:14.240
I would definitely keep your promise to yourself

1095
00:56:14.240 --> 00:56:17.120
and do your heart work as best you can.

1096
00:56:17.120 --> 00:56:18.960
And then who knows, maybe that is something

1097
00:56:18.960 --> 00:56:20.640
that you kind of like, hey, we went on a date

1098
00:56:20.640 --> 00:56:23.240
and then a month later, we're gonna talk some more,

1099
00:56:23.240 --> 00:56:24.160
but you never know.

1100
00:56:24.160 --> 00:56:25.800
You don't know that until you know.

1101
00:56:25.800 --> 00:56:29.040
So it is still a yes until it's a no in the name.

1102
00:56:29.040 --> 00:56:31.200
And at the same time, you can still do your heart work.

1103
00:56:31.200 --> 00:56:35.120
So it sounds like you're kind of navigating it good.

1104
00:56:35.120 --> 00:56:36.320
And I just wanted to say,

1105
00:56:36.320 --> 00:56:37.880
I appreciate what I heard today

1106
00:56:37.880 --> 00:56:41.400
about just the importance of bringing the levity in there

1107
00:56:41.400 --> 00:56:43.400
if it starts getting, you know, too serious.

1108
00:56:43.400 --> 00:56:44.240
Absolutely.

1109
00:56:44.240 --> 00:56:45.080
Bringing that.

1110
00:56:45.080 --> 00:56:47.600
So that was a good thing for me to hear today.

1111
00:56:47.600 --> 00:56:48.440
Good takeaway.

1112
00:56:48.440 --> 00:56:51.800
Yeah, again, guys, you're the masculine.

1113
00:56:51.800 --> 00:56:55.560
You get the opportunity to play the role

1114
00:56:56.320 --> 00:56:58.720
of regulating in the relationship.

1115
00:56:58.720 --> 00:57:03.640
And, you know, the feminine appreciates it, you know?

1116
00:57:04.880 --> 00:57:08.760
They appreciate it, like, they especially appreciate it

1117
00:57:08.760 --> 00:57:11.240
if you get to the point in the relationship

1118
00:57:11.240 --> 00:57:14.600
or the situation where things have a chance

1119
00:57:14.600 --> 00:57:15.760
to get hot and heavy.

1120
00:57:16.720 --> 00:57:19.040
Women really appreciate it when you're the regulator

1121
00:57:19.040 --> 00:57:21.000
and you can be like, you know what?

1122
00:57:21.000 --> 00:57:23.440
Let's keep this the way it, you know,

1123
00:57:23.440 --> 00:57:25.960
let's keep this the way it should be type thing.

1124
00:57:25.960 --> 00:57:28.520
Women really appreciate that

1125
00:57:28.520 --> 00:57:30.960
because they're looking to you to be a regulator,

1126
00:57:30.960 --> 00:57:34.280
but it doesn't have to get sexual

1127
00:57:34.280 --> 00:57:35.440
in order for you to regulate.

1128
00:57:35.440 --> 00:57:36.760
You can just regulate it kind of like,

1129
00:57:36.760 --> 00:57:38.680
hey, let's have some fun.

1130
00:57:38.680 --> 00:57:39.600
Let's enjoy ourselves.

1131
00:57:39.600 --> 00:57:40.480
Let's get to know each other.

1132
00:57:40.480 --> 00:57:45.280
Let's, you know, there's no need for heaviness.

1133
00:57:45.280 --> 00:57:46.280
And I don't even have to,

1134
00:57:46.280 --> 00:57:47.800
you don't even have to regulate it

1135
00:57:47.800 --> 00:57:51.960
to the point where you say, let's not do that.

1136
00:57:51.960 --> 00:57:54.800
You just regulate it by your actions.

1137
00:57:54.800 --> 00:57:57.520
Your actions speak louder than your words.

1138
00:57:57.520 --> 00:57:59.880
So your behavior of just kind of laughing it off

1139
00:57:59.880 --> 00:58:03.720
or just in, you know, following up with like a redirect

1140
00:58:03.720 --> 00:58:06.000
and like, hey, let's, hey, did you ever, you know,

1141
00:58:06.000 --> 00:58:08.320
just change the conversation?

1142
00:58:08.320 --> 00:58:13.320
You know, there's lots of different ways to do that,

1143
00:58:13.760 --> 00:58:17.200
but at the same time doing that and having that levity,

1144
00:58:17.200 --> 00:58:20.120
you get the opportunity, guys,

1145
00:58:20.120 --> 00:58:23.880
to be the regulator in the relationship.

1146
00:58:23.880 --> 00:58:26.920
And you can be at the initiator and the leader in that.

1147
00:58:26.920 --> 00:58:28.840
And that's a good thing.

1148
00:58:28.840 --> 00:58:32.200
So good discussion tonight.

1149
00:58:32.200 --> 00:58:33.440
Good talk, guys.

1150
00:58:33.440 --> 00:58:35.440
I really appreciate all of you guys, man.

1151
00:58:35.440 --> 00:58:38.680
You really shared a lot tonight.

1152
00:58:38.680 --> 00:58:42.760
And thanks, Rodney, for being here your first time.

1153
00:58:42.760 --> 00:58:46.040
And thanks for all the shares and all the insight.

1154
00:58:47.000 --> 00:58:48.960
Wish you well in all your endeavors.

1155
00:58:48.960 --> 00:58:52.320
I see a lot of growth, a lot of productivity here tonight,

1156
00:58:52.320 --> 00:58:56.000
and I appreciate you kind of being here.

1157
00:58:56.000 --> 00:58:57.840
So good to see you guys.

1158
00:58:57.840 --> 00:58:58.680
God bless you all.

1159
00:58:58.680 --> 00:59:01.840
Have a great, great week, and we'll see you next time.

1160
00:59:01.840 --> 00:59:02.800
Thanks, David.

1161
00:59:02.800 --> 00:59:03.960
All right. Good one.

1162
00:59:03.960 --> 00:59:04.800
Thank you, David.

1163
00:59:04.800 --> 00:59:05.640
Thanks, guys.