Hello. Welcome. Hi everyone. Would love to see you all on screen if you're able to come
on tonight. As always, we're practicing coming out of hiding. We're practicing being seen
and heard. And y'all, I love that you turn your cameras on when you go into breakout,
but I would love for you to turn them on so we can see beforehand. It's really great to
see you guys. So if you haven't met me before, my name's Bethany Cooper. I'm one of the Master
Heartwork Coaches here in the community and one of the success stories as well. And it's
so great to be here with y'all tonight. If we have anybody new, this is your first live
session ever in our community. Would love for you to put that in the chat for us so
we can welcome you. I see some familiar faces, some ladies that have come back. Thanks for
being here tonight. Hey, y'all, just as a reminder, you know, the more that we show
up, the more I believe that we get connection. And some people aren't able to make it to
the live, so if you're catching this replay, no guilt if you can't be here. We know everybody's
schedules are different and times are different for everyone as far as maybe they might even
be in a country where it's like the middle of the night there. But if you can be at live
sessions, I really want to encourage y'all to make it a priority to be here because we
get out of this program what we put into it. And I 100% believe that. And again, this
isn't about perfection, but it is about like coming with an expectation of God. What do
you want to say to me tonight? Like it's not about necessarily showing up for me. This
is about you showing up for you and for you and God to have a divine connection. That's
what we believe is going to happen for you. And so I just want to encourage y'all to come
with a level of expectancy. You know, Jackie talked on Saturday. I didn't get to hear the
full thing yet because we were out of town traveling, but I started listening to it today
and just hearing what she was talking about, about, you know, God is being the great dot
connector. 100% believe that. I talk about it. And I share even in my story, like how
God even led me to this community. I just happened to be on a conference, a business
conference and this woman in the chat, God just kept highlighting her to me. It wasn't
Jackie y'all. It was someone totally different. Never met her before. I just kept seeing her
and God kept highlighting her to me. And I just felt led to message her and say, Hey,
like, I don't know why, but God just keeps highlighting you to me. Would love to connect
sometime. And so we connected on Facebook. And from there, she sent me the link to what
was called then married in 12 months or less. And we all, she sent it to me. I was like,
yeah, no, thanks. That's what I did. I said, yep. No, that's not for me. No, thanks. And
uh, just kind of went on my way for a few weeks. And then she circled back around something
like back around to talk to me about something else that God had laid on her heart for me.
And as I started sharing more of my story with her, she said, I know you said no to
this before, but I feel led to send it to you again. I just want to encourage you. She's
like, and then she shared a part of her story, how it had started impacting her. And as she
was talking in the voice memo, I could hear her voice. I could hear her story. And then
I was like, Whoa, this lady's like talking about parts of my life. This is kind of interesting.
And so I just want to encourage you. I ended up saying, yes, obviously I'm here today because
of it. But one of the other really cool things is after I finished the, um, initial back
then we did the free challenge. Everybody kind of comes in a little different now, but
we did free challenge for five days. And then Jackie talked about what was called her boot
camp, bride boot camp back then. Literally that was even before married in 12 months
or less fully, but it was bride boot camp and shifting into that. But anyway, saying
all that to say this, when, um, she talked about the next launching boot camp date, it
was January 11th was this was January 11th of 2021. You know, I do a vision board almost
every year this year, for whatever reason, life got a little crazy. I haven't done it,
but back then I normally would do it the November, December before the new like year coming up.
So in November of 2020, I worked on this vision board and it's a very, uh, not just
your normal vision board. Like I pray a lot over mine. It's a whole thing. I can explain
some other time, but the reason I'm sharing this with you is on that board in the area
about my relationship with God and my relationship that I believed he wanted to bring me, I felt
led to cut out this circle that had the date January 11th. That was on my vision board,
you all. And so I just want to encourage.
encourage you to keep paying attention to the little things that God is saying to you,
and not dismiss the things that you're hearing even in this heartwork process.
Even maybe before you got here, that God will start illuminating and saying, Oh yeah, this
is why I told you that, or this is why I showed you this.
And I just pray that you'll jot down those notes and keep them kind of close to your
heart as you walk through.
Why do we post in the group?
I want to encourage you all.
This is why we post in the group.
This is why I believe you should post in the group.
Is hurt in community healed in community?
Hurt in relationship healed in relationship?
Some of you have really not had good friendships.
Some of you haven't had great community.
This is an awesome time for you to get out of your comfort zone.
Some of you are just really afraid to share in a group setting.
Those are insecurities that are going to hold you back when you try to step into relationship
one day.
And even in, and that doesn't even mean romantic relationships, because we have people that
come into this community that they just want heartwork.
They don't even care if they meet a guy.
And that's totally awesome.
If that's where you're at, I believe that God might have more for you because he brought
you here.
But if that's where you're at right now, that's totally fine.
But the reality is, is you need to be able to interact in healthy relationship with friends,
church people in your jobs.
Some people are losing jobs or things are happening where it's because they need healing
in their heart and they don't even, they don't even recognize it.
Because we have blind spots and filters to our own issues and things that need resolved.
So come into the group, post, ask questions, tell us how you're doing.
One of the activations tonight is going to be for this week is going to be your Jesus
cares board.
Some of you have already done it.
Some of you have not done it yet, but those are the times where, yes, we're going to ask
you to be transparent.
We're going to ask you to be real and authentic.
And you know, what's really awesome out of that from, from my perspective is that people
in the community be like, thank you so much for sharing that.
That really spoke to me or something about your board really stood out to him.
Allow God to make a connection for you that could last a lifetime.
I have friends out of this community that are now very close friends of mine.
Distractions are also going to come for you.
So I want you to know and be aware of that.
Some of you that have just entered the heart work is going to be left and right.
The enemy is going to try to send distractions anytime you can.
For those of you that have been here for a while, you know it to be true.
Don't you?
Anybody else?
Distraction, distraction, distraction.
Sometimes I even try to get work done for last year single and the enemy is just distracting,
distracting, distracting.
So I want you to be aware that that's going to happen.
Old guys may resurface.
Hey, you all, if it's during heart work, that is not God's divine design for you.
Okay?
Most likely, I'm not saying it never happens.
I'm just saying you still need to press pause on that person while you're here in the heart
work.
That is what we ask you to do so that you can literally be focused, laser focused on
your heart healing process and journey with the Lord.
All right.
Um, I think that is all.
Remember to stay focused.
Don't give up.
Just keep going.
If you feel overwhelmed, shift in.
Remember that we've all been there.
Okay.
Number one, we've all been there.
I felt overwhelmed when I was in this process, but here's the reality.
God's grace and his, the endowment of power of the Holy spirit that lives in you can enable
you to take one step at a time.
I tell people all the time, if you'll just, when the overwhelm sets in, if you will just
commit to taking one step a day, maybe that's, you know, you watch one video and you journal
about it.
And then the next day you read a little bit in the book, as long as you're taking steps
forward, you all, you're still making progress, which creates momentum, which creates acceleration
in your healing process.
Some people have been in the community and things have happened.
They've, uh, I have a friend that's on tonight.
Sometimes we lose loved ones.
I've had a lot of people in this community that's happened to them.
I want y'all to know that we understand.
And sometimes those things can create what we would consider like, not we, the team I'm
saying we people, sons and daughters of Christ, we tend to think that those are setbacks or,
you know, if we struggle or things have happened that we've lost all this time.
And we may have in the physical realm, but God can accelerate and catch you up.
Okay.
The point is that you're still here.
You're still here.
And that's amazing.
And so I'm so glad that you are here and that you're continuing to move forward.
As I mentioned earlier, a supernatural Saturday connecting dots, nothing will be wasted.
Check it out.
It's in the replay.
I'm going to pray for us and jump right into our content for tonight.
Father, thank you so much for who you are.
God.
Thank you that.
Yes, Lord.
of the supernatural. God, I pray tonight that you would give us an upgrade in the revelation of
surrender and what that looks like for us. God, I pray that you would help us to, even like years
ago, you showed me like, I had so many areas where I was mature, but I had so many areas where I
felt like a little kid on the inside because I just would struggle internally. God, I pray that
you would bring healing to the depths of our being tonight. God, that you would bring those things
that are in darkness to the light so there can be revelation, so the light can come and remove
all of the pain of the past. God, I thank you that we would set our hearts upon you,
that we would lift our eyes up from, you know, to heaven where our help comes from,
the maker of heaven and earth. God, you created all things. Nothing is too hard for you. Our
healing process is not too hard for you. God, when we try to bear it alone, when we try to go
the path of life alone, God, I pray that you would recenter us, refocus us, help us to know that your
yoke is easy and your burden is light. Help us, Lord, to enter your rest tonight, to enter your
freedom. We thank you for supernatural breakthroughs and healing that are going to happen tonight,
as well as throughout this week. Lord, we just bless you. We thank you. Holy Spirit, thanks for
being here. Just weave in and out of all the conversations, all of the coaching, and let your
will be done on earth as you desire in heaven this night. In Jesus' name, amen, amen. All right,
so you all, if you don't know what I'm talking about when I say Jesus Cares Board, the explanation
of that is in your week one. It is a video that you can watch. Jackie's talking about this,
the Jesus Cares Board. I'm going to show you a couple as well, just to give you all some additional
ideas. Now, always remember, there is no expectation for you to do yours like this.
I'm just, again, I love to plant seeds to get you all thinking. Here's a board that one of our
sisters did. She chose to do heart post-it notes, and she put scriptures on there. She put some of
the words of things she was casting cares. This is one a lady did on her fridge. This is, I'm trying
to show you guys all the different ways this is very doable. So this was just on her fridge.
She rotated them as the cares were being answered, or she was asking God for additional things.
This one, again, like really cute, like tissue paper hearts in the background, and then she was
adding hers as she goes. And so I want you all to know, it doesn't have to be finished when you
post it either, okay? Some of you all need to just get some wins in your bag. And how do you get some
wins in your bag? Well, you go ahead and post it before it's even finished, and you're going to
start to feel some stuff shifting and changing. We're going to be coming alongside of you,
praying for those. This one, I love all of these, you guys. Just, you know, there's no, there's no
favoritism, but one of the things I love, the reason I love to show this one, is she put herself on there.
That is a picture of herself, and I thought that that was so brilliant, because so many times, don't
we think we need to take care of ourselves, but Jesus cares, and so she just put her whole self
on there, and I love that. I think that's so awesome. This one here, what I wanted to show you
is some people are like, well, I have kids around, and I don't want my kids to see what I'm writing
on my Jesus Cares board, or people that come and go. If you feel like you don't have somewhere to
put it in private, she put these little heart boxes down at the bottom. Heart box childhood, heart box
adult. She tucked in her little, you know, her message of what was on there. God knows what it is,
and then her kids wouldn't see that. But you all, one of the things I want you to understand
is that your children, when they see you doing this, some of them automatically are going to be
like, I want to do that too, and if they don't do it automatically, if they're open to it, I would
encourage you on their level to do a Jesus Cares board for them. Kids carry burdens so much more
than we, like, ever think that they do. I had a little girl in Sunday school class two weekends
ago go, I think I said this last week, you know, she's carrying this burden that some kid made a
comment about her skin color. And, you know, they just need to know that Jesus cares about
every one of their needs, just like He cares about ours. This one I put because, just like the woman
that did hers on the fridge, this lady was like, hey, I'm just going to use my door in my living
room, because she had window boxes on there, and I thought that was cool. And, you know, some people
will do different color post-its for different areas of their life that they're casting their
cares. I will tell you all, the more specific you can get, the better, I think. But if that's hard
for you, go ahead and get started with the general, and then we can ask you more questions and help
you kind of pare that down a little bit more. Here's some other ones. All right, that's all.
And what I mean by that is, for example, I might write on my board, I need Jesus.
those to help me with my finances. And that is great. Okay. But when I break it
down, and I say, Jesus, I need your help to pay off $10,000 of school debt. Or
Jesus, one of the things I put on my board, I needed dental work for several
years. And this was before I met Brian. And I just said, Jesus, I need help to
save money to get this dental work. I need it. And I don't, you know, want
other health problems created because of this, but I don't have money right
now. And but I need that. You know, and it was on there longer than I wanted it
to. But here's the reality. What I want you to know is that when it was time, we
were able to pay for that stuff in full. Okay, it matters what you put on that
board, it matters that you continue to thank God for it, even before you see
it. You know, if your kids need salvation, if your kids need healing,
you know, whatever it is, I put on my board to some things like, I wanted to
have fun in my spirit mate relationship. And I put that on my board, I didn't
want to just have a spirit mate, I wanted to have fun. I wanted to dance, I
wanted to love my life, you know. So again, just kind of be specific, lean
into that. And and as you put it on the board, just keep thanking Jesus, Jesus,
thank you right now that even as I put this on the board, I trust that you're
going to work on this situation in this situation on my behalf. All right. So
tonight we're talking about supernatural surrender, which goes so
well with practicing the Jesus Cares Board and the principles of surrendering
everything to Him. Y'all, I'm pretty good at this. I do this on a regular basis.
But I'll tell you what we went on, my husband and I went on what's called a
refresh retreat for some friends of ours started a foundation to sow into
pastors and their wives where they can just come and literally be like, we had
people cooking our food for us and serving us. And like there was just it
was a lot of resting, unplug as much as possible, a lot of like, some guided
devotion times, a lot of time as a couple, but a lot of rest. And y'all, I
don't know if you know, but like sometimes ministry life is go, go, go,
go, go. And so the reason I bring that up is because I take a lot of time to
even do devotions even now at home. But there was just something about being
away from all of the places and spaces I'm used to. We were in Savannah,
Georgia, we were at this place, it was right on this river was just absolutely
stunning. Got to see the sunrise every morning. Yes, I got up. I set my alarm. I
wanted to see that come up. But here's the thing. This is why I'm saying it to
you. It was not more than five minutes after I had stepped onto that property,
that I started feeling this like, in my heart, this like, the only way I know
how to explain it is this pressure. But what it was from is because I knew God
was going to help me deal with some things I hadn't dealt with yet. Because
2025 was a pretty rough year for us a lot of great ministry stuff, but we had
some things happen one after the other after the other was so fast, that I felt
like I just didn't have enough time to like really pause. Like I processed it as
much as I could, but to really pause and really kind of just feel the grief of
some of those things. And so in in going away, and taking that extra time, like I
said, it was kind of immediate, like in the first night they did this, the leader
did this devotion time. And y'all, I mean, like, literally, I was like, Okay,
y'all, this is going to be what it's going to be like, I think this weekend,
just tears, just tears, just my, my soul was releasing. So maybe y'all, that's
what you need. If tears come, I don't want you to apologize for them. If it's
during coaching, if it's when you're processing on your own, you know, I want
y'all to feel the feels so God can heal the feels. For some of you, you've been
numb for a while, you haven't even realized how numb you've been. And maybe
you do realize it, but it's a whole nother ballgame when you might realize
it. But then when you sit down and start kind of like just being honest with God.
So one of the things I told the Lord this weekend was I was I was upset with
him about some things. And I was just honest. He already knows it. So I was
just being his daughter and talking to him. And because of that honesty, I felt
like I was able to kind of recalibrate and breathe. Because here's the reality.
I know he loves me. I know he's not holding out on me. But the devil is has
been trying to convince me that that is the truth. And I coach it all the time.
But y'all sometimes when it hits your own life, you know,
have to be willing to enter into that space.
One of the questions was, why am I here?
And that sounds like such a simple question,
but when the leader asked it, he said,
I want you to ask God, why are you here?
Like, why are you on this retreat this weekend?
What does God want to do in you?
And so that's what I want to do tonight.
I want to start there.
I'd like to take a minute.
I'm going to have, like, I'm going to do literally
a minute of quiet time.
If you don't have pen and paper, you can use your phone.
Try not to get distracted if you're on your phone.
I would prefer pencil and paper, pen and paper.
But I want you just to ask the Lord.
Some of you, even if you've been in heartwork for a while,
doesn't matter.
None of that matters.
But I want you to ask the Lord, why are you here?
And I want you just to write down anything that
comes to your heart and mind.
Lord, why am I in this heartwork process?
Lord, why did you lead me to last year's single?
Lord, why am I here tonight?
Why am I here in this journey right now?
Lord, what do you want to do in me during this time?
Lord, how do you want to help me come out of the place
I was never intended to be in?
You know, there's this song that says, Jesus, lover of my soul,
Jesus, I'll never let you go.
You've taken me from the miry clay.
You've set my feet upon the rock.
And now I know I love you.
But so often, life happens.
And we know in our heads that we love him.
But our hearts are saying something different.
Our hearts are deceiving us.
The enemy is trying to lie to us, kill, steal, and destroy.
He wants to take everything he can from us.
He wants us to live below the blessing that God has for us,
the good, good life.
All right, go ahead and finish that up.
If you're just joining us, we're just doing a little activation
real quick.
And as you all are finishing that up,
I want to kind of circle back to God's super.
And tonight, we're asking God for you to bring your super
and add it to our natural, that you
would help us to release everything and relinquish
control to you, that we will allow you to move
in every area of our hearts, that we would take down
do not enter signs, God, so that you can fully come in
to every area, even the prickly areas, Lord, God, where, man,
it just is so hard to let you come close because it just
feels like we need to protect ourselves.
God, help us to remember that in you, there is freedom.
John 15, 4 through 5 in the NIV version says this,
remain in me as I also remain in you.
No branch can bear fruit by itself.
It must remain in the vine.
Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
I am the vine.
You are the branches.
If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit.
Apart from me, you can do nothing.
I'm going to ask you to do something else.
I'm going to just follow the Holy Spirit.
I just feel a couple of things coming up tonight.
I want you, the part that says, if you remain in me and I
in you, you will.
It doesn't say maybe.
It says you will bear much fruit.
I want you just to write down, I want you to ask the Lord,
Lord, what fruit can I bear right now?
And then, of course.
that might change over time, but what fruit can I bear right now as I remain in you? Not independent
of Him, not on our own, but in Him, He's the one that enables us to bear fruit. You know, last week
we did, or maybe two weeks ago, I can't remember which week we did it, sorry y'all, I think it was
two weeks ago, we did the roots, you know, versus the fruits activation, you know, asking us to kind
of process what are the roots and what kind of fruit is coming out of those places.
And we know, even myself, you know, when whatever is in the heart gets reproduced, so if I have,
you know, grief in my heart that's not processed, well that's going to probably produce some
fruit that's sad, or maybe stressed, or whatever that looks like for me or for you. So what kind
of fruit are you, does He want you to bear in this season right now? Remember that God is a
gentleman, so He's not going to force His way into your heart, He's not going to force His way into
your life, and the reality is this, even myself included, if we start to step away from the Lord,
He will let us, but He will still lovingly pursue us. We'll hear Him saying things to us, and
speaking to us, to try to lead us back to Himself, because we were always intended to be in
relationship with Him. Apart from Him, we can't do anything, that hole will never be filled, we will
never be satisfied with anything or anyone other than the Lord. So we have to start to really
recognize that we will, if we start to walk away from Him, there's going to be these voids that
can, like they're just going to be empty, they're not going to be filled with anything, and even if
we try, we will feel that deep ache. So tonight, I want to encourage you to give God permission,
as I was saying, you know, let the do not enter signs come down. You might not even realize they
are there right now, but subconsciously they're there, and God is going to show you as you're
walking forward, like, hey, this is an area I'd really love you to surrender this to me completely.
And literally give me the key to it. He wants full access, ladies. Full access. And I want you to know
that if it feels painful, if it feels scary, that will pass. It will pass. Revelation 3.20 says,
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into
him and will sup with him and he with me. I love this scripture. I love that it talks about that
God's going to come in and eat with us. He's going to have a meal. Y'all, guess what? Don't we spend
time eating with people that we care about, that we're close to? Typically, yeah. Sometimes there's
people we might be like, hmm, don't think I'm enjoying this meal in this conversation. Let's
just be real, right? I have some of those, but a lot of the time we are spending time with people
that we enjoy their company. In the heartwork book, I want to just touch on a couple things
really quickly. Y'all, it's in chapter three in the supernatural surrender area.
One of the main reasons we don't want to depend on anyone else is we don't want to be disappointed.
For some of you, you don't even want to depend on God because you think God is going to disappoint
you because you have been convinced by the devil himself that God has disappointed you in the past
and he will always disappoint you. It's time for us to, I don't know how many of you are old enough
to know cassette tapes, but it's time to literally, for those of you that are too young, you can look
it up later. What is a cassette tape? Y'all, it's funny these days, people don't, like the young
kids that things, you know, my grandparents had one of those phones. You would pick it up, like the
little horn looking thing, and you talk into it. Yeah, I remember talking into one of those phones.
Kids nowadays are like, what is that? All right, sidebar, but it makes me laugh, you know,
but here's the thing. We have to choose to understand that God is not man.
Yes, Jesus came in the form of a man, but he still was God.
We believe that he disappointed us, but it's because we believed a lie of the enemy.
All right, we're going to keep going. Being disappointed is painful, maybe even more painful
than not trusting anyone to help us in the first place. I want some of you to be real honest with
yourselves. How many of you have told yourself it's just easier being single?
We have people in this community that
say they want to be married they say they want a spirit mate but yet they internally repeat the
dialogue this is too hard it's just easier being single some people get married y'all they go all
the way they get the wedding and you know how many people you are already counseling
because they're saying i just should have probably not even gotten married
yikes y'all the reality is is relationships are hard they're really amazing but even if you have
a good friend sometimes isn't that hard and you have to work through things together well that's
what marriage is too but so many people either they go in too fast full speed ahead and they
don't listen to coaches which happens or they go in with their eyes kind of they're just so in love
that they're not fully looking at the picture of what's they're about to enter and i've done that
before no shame on that i've done it before but that's what this community is for if people will
come into the community and tell us about the people they're dating get one-on-one coaching
about things come into the simba's program that we do y'all we ask legit questions about the the
spouses the people that are considering moving forward into marriage like we look at the
assessments we look at what they've said we look at the red flag areas or the struggle and we talk
to them about it why do we do that well it's because we're trying to help people step into
marriage from the most healthy place that they can be
so so many times people are convincing themselves it's just easier well the grass isn't always
greener on the other side and if you're convincing yourself that you're just better off single
that's a heart truly a heart wound that needs to be looked at all right so i want you to think about
the times as well where um you've just convinced yourself that you can do it yourself i've got this
i can do it myself god doesn't ever tell us to go figure it out he doesn't say hey good luck kid i
hope you make it he's like i'm i sent the holy spirit when jesus ascended into heaven
to be your comforter to be your counselor to be your guide
to be your ever-present help in time of trouble i sent the holy spirit to take you by the hand
so here are some practical ways that i do it myself or god i've got this tends to show up
in our daily lives i'm going to read these really quick y'all might have to go back and listen to
the replay if you want to take notes on this because i'm going to go fast so we have plenty
of time for breakouts and coaching tonight here are some that show up in our relationship areas
controlling conversations or outcomes during conflict rather than seeking god's wisdom first
making major relationship decisions without prayer or godly counsel
trying to earn love through performance instead of resting in god's unconditional
love performance can show up in a lot of ways you all
thinking we have to have the perfect clothes we have to act a perfect way
you got to have the perfect job you've got to have all the things right in the house
sometimes i go into people's houses and i'm like man i like i feel like the room i'm in right now
it's decorated pretty cute and then i go into other people's house and i'm like oh man i wish
i could do it like that that's how the that's how the enemy works isn't it and it's okay to admire
things you know it's not wrong to do that but i think that it it's one of the things that i feel
for myself at least that the enemy always wants me to compare myself to other people with the
underlying statement i'm not good enough
some of you are going to go into phase two and you're going to compare your dating journey
to someone else's dating journey some of you in heartwork do that here
some of you are going to go out on a date with a guy and you're going to see another woman on
a date with someone and you're going to compare yourself to her y'all this stuff is legit happens
to her y'all this stuff is legit happens all the time if that is happening you got like hopefully
you're gonna ask the lord to reveal where that's coming from were you compared to your sisters
constantly growing up was your mom jealous of you like these are legit things some some young
girls grow up where their mom is jealous of them because the dad is paying the daughter more
attention than the mom and it creates this whole dynamic that then the
a child carries into adulthood and well into life.
Financial and career, I do it myself or I've got this,
can show up in making financial decisions based solely on your own
understanding without seeking God's direction. That's a common theme,
doing things without seeking God's direction,
hoarding resources out of fear instead of trusting God as our provider.
Now y'all, I believe in saving. I believe that God blesses the storehouse.
So I'm not saying don't save money, but some people will hoard things.
They will hoard, hoard, hoard out of fear.
And then they may not step fully into the partnership of marriage because
they're trying to kind of keep things in that place.
So parenting and family looks like trying to control our children's every
choice instead of training them and trusting God with
their hearts.
A lot of people, um, if y'all have heard Andrea share some of her stories,
she's our coach in the afternoons for heartwork and, uh,
she's kind of in this place right now of trusting God with her daughter. Um,
and just that surrendering their choices.
How many of y'all have adult children? Anyone else?
Man, it's hard.
It is hard to let them make choices on their
own. And, you know, sometimes seeing them make really bad
choices, but I pray all the time, God,
thank you that you were with me when I was making bad decisions.
And I believe you can lead them to your truth.
Just like you led me to your truth.
I just keep praying that over and over and over because that's what I have to
cling to.
Like God brought me out of all of the mess of my life.
And he led me to this amazing journey that I'm in. I love the Lord.
I want that for my kids.
So if you're struggling in that area,
I want to encourage you cling to what God did in you and
claim, God, thank you. You're going to do that for my kids.
Now it might look different than your conversion and might look different than
your path,
but cling to the fact that he is more than able to do abundantly
above anything we could ever ask, think, or imagine, including with our kids.
Maybe we're trying to fix every problem for our kids rather than allowing them
to learn and grow through challenges.
Now I recently did help our, my youngest spiritual daughter.
She parked her car somewhere that she shouldn't have.
She wasn't fully where they said don't park, but she was kind of by there.
But she knew the timeframe that she was supposed to be moved by.
And they came early. She cut it a little close. At least that's what she told me.
I'm going to trust her, but she doesn't ask me for money very often.
But she asked if I could help her out that day,
her car got towed and if she didn't get it within a certain timeframe,
it was going to get taken somewhere else and cost a lot more money.
But here's one of the things I said to her, cause she offered to pay me back.
I said, no, that's fine.
You don't normally come and ask me for money on a regular basis.
So I trust you. Like, honey, sometimes I just want to do things for you.
Cause sometimes that is, I just want to be that kind of mom.
But if I bailed her out all the time,
how is that going to help her? It's not,
she hasn't come back and asked for anything else.
But sometimes some of us that's what we're doing.
We're constantly bailing our kids out because we don't want them to feel pain.
Like we felt pain, but you know what?
Pain is profitable if we allow it to be used for, you know,
in the Lord's hands.
Y'all some of the deepest pain I've had in my life as I've given that to the
Lord, he has used it and turned it around for purpose.
Hence I'm here talking to all of you.
I literally gave everything of my life to him and just said, Lord,
I'll do whatever. I'll go wherever I'll share wherever.
And I've meant that from day one. It's not always easy though,
especially when you're in the middle of feeling the pain, right?
Personal growth. Maybe you're white knuckling things.
Maybe you're white knuckling through bad habits right now,
or in the past instead of inviting God into the transformational process that he
wants to bring you into and through.
Maybe you're trying to heal your own emotional wounds without letting God into
the painful places. And Hey, you all, sometimes even the reality is this.
I've had a lot of people ask me, you know,
I've already done a lot of programs. I've already done a lot of this work.
You know, why am I ever going to be free?
Am I ever going to get to the point that I don't feel like I have to do all of
this work over and over and over.
And my answer for you is maybe
Maybe I don't think everybody needs to be in the ICU all the time
I tell ladies in here, you know when they're here for over a year and
They've been showing up consistently if they're done with the course and they're still there
It's not that we don't want them here, but it's not healthy. I even this weekend
I was reading a book about prayer and in that it was talking about a very similar concept
We're not meant to be in an ICU long term in a hospital
Right if we're in the ICU too long
You know, there's different
different things that they they look at, you know, and oftentimes at least from my experience my mom got moved to a
Nursing home facility. She was in the ICU too long
It wasn't good for her to just be in there, but she wasn't ready to go to a step-down room
And
So she went into a nursing home that had high level of medical care
Sometimes we need those step-downs too, but if you're hanging out for too long some of you
it's because you believe that life is always supposed to be hard and
You need to go have fun. You need to laugh and you need to experience God's joy as well
John 14 25 through 27 says this all this have I all this I have spoken while still with you
But the Advocate the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in my name will teach you all
Things and will remind you of everything. I have said to you. Peace. I leave with you my peace
I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives don't let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid
You guys are gonna hear us talk about this over and over again about don't dig don't dig
The goal is for you to ask the Lord to reveal areas for healing
You know what? I mean by that for some of you
It's okay to maybe talk to your mom or whoever a little bit
but I would not encourage you all to get on the phone with all your aunts and uncles and all your parents and whoever and
Just go diggin into your life and what happened because you know, what can happen is you can actually
The enemy can use that to re traumatize you and and really create some problems for you
So it's better for you to trust that the Lord will reveal things to you at the right
appointed time
Yeah living from the heart not just head yeah, of course
If you're a very analytical thinker
I'm gonna encourage you to ask the Lord to help you step out of that over thinking things a
Lot of that overthinking can also drive anxiousness which can go into that whole anxious attachment style
Those come from woundedness do am I saying that we will never feel anxious ever know what I am saying though
there's a different level of
Anxiousness and anxiety that stems from wounds of like we don't really believe God loves us
We don't feel his safety
It often comes out of a lot of abandonment neglect
rejection as children
yes adults to you, but typically when you're kids and
You might have had good parents amazing parents and you can still feel
Abandoned or rejected if you're a parent like I have a lot of women that their dad was like working all the time
To provide for their family and they knew their dad loved them, but he was always busy
For some people that is like a real massive wound because they believe that God is too busy for them
See how that works
Yeah
So we want to trust what God brings up at the time
He brings it up lean into the Holy Spirit, and I love to use the phrase pull the thread
What I mean by that is that sometimes you're gonna have a memory pop up in your mind
And you might think oh my gosh. I haven't thought of that in ages I
Want you to pull the thread because the Lord is showing you that what I mean by that is Lord
huh, I
Had this memory pop up today, and I don't know what you're trying to show me
Can you reveal to me what what it is you want me to know about that?
It could be a good memory too
Doesn't have to all be bad you all because what can happen to is when the hard stuff comes up a lot of times when
We go through trauma unfortunately the good stuff gets taken down with the hard stuff
And so when we're healing and we're processing this stuff some of the good stuff starts to bubble up
And you're like oh my gosh. I forgot that my mom used to do that for me I
Had that happen just recently regarding my mom like oh my gosh like I totally
Did not remember that at all until this
thing happened and it was just like, oh my gosh, like my mom actually was, you know,
really tried to teach me how to be responsible so I could take care of myself. You know,
some little things that we sometimes take for granted. Alright, so here's your question for
breakout sessions tonight. What are some things God is nudging you to surrender to Him this
evening? What are some things that God is nudging you to surrender to Him, excuse me, tonight?
Let me go ahead and get our breakout rooms ready. I've been liking doing three because I feel like
you guys have a little bit more social, it feels a little more social hopefully for you in a good
way. Arianne, you can just not, like if anyone isn't able to go into your room, just don't accept
it. I'll move people around. I'll give you all, let's see here, if I do. Alright, we have plenty
of time. So I'm going to give you all nine minutes. I know that might sound long, but it'll go really
fast. It gives about three minutes for each person if there are three people in the room.
And so you're going to answer the question, what are some things God is nudging you to
surrender to Him tonight? Remember, short, brief, and powerful so that everybody in the room has a
chance to share. If you have extra time left, share where you're from. Share what brought you
to this community. Share something fun you did today. You get to pick, but if you have extra time
after you guys, all the people in the group answered that question, I would encourage you to
share. And if any of you are afraid to go into breakout, please step out of that comfort zone
and that place and really get kind of bold, you know, trusting the Lord to empower you to do it.
It really, really is good for you. Okay, that should be up on your screen. Go ahead and click to join
that as quick as you can. I saw Sandra just came in. So once I get everyone situated, Sandra,
I'll get you into a room as well. And as soon as I get everyone situated here, I will start to pray.
Awesome.
Trying to make sure people don't end up by themselves. All right, Father, thank you so
much for all that you're doing tonight. Thank you for your Holy Spirit being here.
Thank you that we are more than enough for you. Thank you that we're more than enough for the path
that you have chosen for us, God. We thank you for revealings for healing that are happening now
in the rooms here in this main space, in our group and community as people are sharing their
posts. God, we thank you that you would help women to come alive, to awaken, to, yeah, Lord,
remember the simple times and the moments of blessing where you met them on their journey
and their path. And God, I thank you that tonight that you would help them to
be reminded of your provision for them, God, that you have lovingly pursued them all along.
I thank you, God, that you would, yes, Lord, just show them that you are their defender,
that you are the one that looks out for them, that loves them, that leads them into all truth,
that you'll anoint them for all of their lives and walk and calling, and that you'll lead them
deeper into the revelation of who Jesus Christ is tonight. God, I thank you for a fresh revelation
for each one of them of who you are as love. Yeah, Lord, that you would help them to understand who
you are as love and the power and the security that standing in your love can bring them.
God, I thank you that you would just continue to set our souls on fire for you, that you would
fan the flames of hunger and thirst for your righteousness, for your word, God, that we would
never be satisfied with less than your best for us. God, that we wouldn't become picky religious
people, but God, that we would understand and recognize the blessings that you have in front of
us. God, just like the picture, you know, some people don't love this picture, but it comes to
mind. It was something that really spoke to me where the little girl, you know, she's got her
teddy bear and she's holding it and she's standing in front of Jesus and he's got a big teddy bear
behind his back. He's waiting to give her that big teddy bear, but she has to be willing to let go of
the little one that she currently has in her hands. So God, we thank you that you give us the ability.
Yes, Lord, to surrender whatever relationships need to be surrendered. If there's any
situationships represented by anyone in this heart work group and community, God,
we ask you to give them the courage to let go of unhealthy relationships.
that are not serving them, maybe unhealthy friendships,
maybe even unhealthy work dynamics and situations
based on the job that they are currently in.
God, even as I was watching a little clip of a movie
tonight before I came on, there was this young lady
who started coming alive and she had kind of always
had her path planned out for her,
but someone was sent into her path
and the way that he lived her life
caused her to feel more free,
caused her to experience life in a whole new way
and she realized that she had never really thought about,
God, what your purpose is for her.
So Lord, I pray that you would help the ladies
ask you that question too.
God, what's your purpose and your plan for me?
But God, that that wouldn't feel so heavy and big
that they can't step forward.
God, that you would show them, that you'll reveal to them
day by day by day what your plan
and your purpose is for them.
God, I thank you that you would take them back
to the original plan and design that you had for them
when you created them.
God, that you would give them glimpses
of who you originally created them to be.
God, and that you would help all of us,
myself included, step further into those identities
every day.
Proverbs 13, 12 says,
"'Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick,
but a sudden good break can turn life around.'"
God, I thank you for sudden good breaks
and sudden leaves happening in these ladies' lives,
one after the other, after the other.
God, that you would literally come in
and fill their hope takes tonight,
that they would fill up to overflowing.
Yeah, Lord, that joy unspeakable and full of glory
would be theirs.
Sorry, I'm getting...
Really dry.
When I talk constantly too long,
that's what starts happening.
But yeah, Lord, so that we can receive
all that you have for us,
let us never underestimate the power of your glory,
the power of your presence in our lives.
Proverbs 3, 5 in the message translation says this,
"'Trust God from the bottom of your heart.
Don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything that you do,
everywhere that you go.
He's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all."
Don't assume that we know it all.
So Lord, I thank you that we don't know.
We don't know a lot.
And Lord, if these ladies are anything like me,
sometimes, man, we think of the future
and we just wanna know all the details.
We would love to know it in advance every single time.
But God, I thank you that you would help us to grow
in our ability to trust you.
God, as we go, that you're the voice behind us,
telling us the way to go,
that you are the lamp unto our feet
and the light unto our path,
that we don't have to fear or be afraid
because fear has to do with torment.
So God, we lean into you.
Yes, Lord, I thank you that your perfect love
casts out all fear.
Help us to center ourselves in your perfect love.
God, I pray for a fresh wave of grace
to wash over every one of these ladies tonight,
those watching the replay all throughout the week.
Help us to feel your grace kind of swirling around us, Lord,
to envision our lives better today than they were yesterday,
better tomorrow than they were today.
God, I thank you that we will run the race
in such a way as we will be able to win the prize
that has set before us by you, God.
I thank you that we...
Yes, Lord, we allow you to enable us
to lay aside every weight
that typically would ensnare us in the past,
but no longer will it ensnare us in the days to come.
God, I thank you that you're literally cutting bondages
of the enemy chains and shackles,
chains and shackles, I said that funny,
off of all of us tonight.
God, I pray for minds being transformed right now
where ladies look at the glass and they see it half empty.
They actually see it very...
What I keep seeing is a glass
and it's just got a little bit of milk in it.
Specifically, milk is what I saw in the glass.
And I just heard the Lord say that some people's minds,
that that's just how they look at life.
And so, Lord, I pray for transformation in their minds.
And milk, it's like the meat and the milk.
The milk is the beginning stages of the word.
And so, Lord, I'm asking you to fill them up
with an understanding and a revelation of your word.
Let it be exciting when they read your word.
I pray that you would illuminate scriptures to them.
God, that when they read...
devotions, that they would just sense you speaking directly to them.
God, we thank you for intimacy, intimacy with you, that we get to be in
relationship with you, Jesus, as you are in relationship with the Father,
that you died so that we could have that.
Thank you.
Help us to not get so accustomed to who you are, Jesus, as the Messiah that we
just, I was reading something today, ladies, where it was talking about, you
know, we have shirts with Jesus on it and cups with Jesus on it and pens and
all this stuff, and we've just really commercialized him, and I pray that he
would encounter all of you in a fresh way, and that we would all have a
revelation of the power of who Jesus is, that we would know him more as the
Messiah, the Prince of Peace, Mighty One.
And I thank you, God, for what you're doing in our lives, even right now.
1 John 3.20 in the Passion Translation says this, wherever our hearts make us
feel guilty and remind us of our failures, we know that God is much greater and
more merciful than our conscience, and he knows everything there is to know about us.
It's pretty awesome.
He knows everything there is to know about us.
He, you know, makes things whiter, as you know, the red, the crimson red, he
makes it all white as snow, nothing, nothing is too hard for him.
So as y'all are coming back, I've been praying and talking and reading scripture.
What the Lord led me to right at the end was, you know, our sins that were red,
you know, that crimson red, that scarlet, that he makes them all white as snow.
And so I just want to remind you that, you know, even in those moments where we
fall short of God's glory, where we fall short, even we stumble in the heartwork
process, maybe some of us got distracted.
Maybe some of us talk to a guy or, you know, we just do things that we know
aren't good for us.
And some of us, just like Paul, we're like, I want to do this good thing, but why am I
not doing that?
But I'm doing the things that I don't want to do.
Anyone else ever, sometimes I'm like, man, I really want to just get in that room and
pray extra today and then the busyness of life or something happens.
Yeah, so we're not alone.
And I just want to encourage you that you can start again, you can start fresh.
Every day is new.
All right, activations for this week, I'm going to go over those really quick.
Number one activation is complete the permission slip.
So if you haven't done that already, if you're brand new, the permission slip is
going to be in your welcome section as well.
As week one, I want to encourage you to print that out, fill it out.
And for our ladies that have already printed that out before, maybe you've already done
it, want you to get that back out because you're still here and you're hearing me.
So let's get that back out, revisit it, make sure there's nothing else that you need to
surrender to the Lord.
And then I want you to put it up somewhere that you can see it every day.
And that prayer that's on there, I encourage you to pray that out loud.
That out loud over yourself.
Okay, I'm really big on praying out loud.
Some of y'all aren't used to even hearing your own voice, you know, practicing praying
out loud.
It's, it's one of the, for me, when the enemy is assaulting me, one of the quickest
ways I have found to get him to flee is worship and praying the word of God out loud, like
just declaring scripture out loud.
He can't stay where the light is residing.
You just can't.
And you might have to do it for a while because some people get really assaulted by demonic
spiritual things.
Depending on what you're coming out of, you might experience different levels of that.
But I want you to know it's not going to last forever.
Okay, it shouldn't last forever like that.
But if you really, really struggle with that, you know, hopefully you will seek additional
help locally through your church and prayer ministries that are there.
All right, number two, Jesus Cares Board that I talked about earlier.
Okay, so go ahead and complete your Jesus Cares Board, work on it.
You don't have to have it all the way finished to post about it.
But I want to hear like, hey, how did this, like, how was that process for you?
It doesn't have to be super long post, but like, was that hard to cast your cares?
You know, were you like, I don't know what all to put on the board, whatever that is
for you.
Let us know how that goes.
And then let's see, do I have anything else for you?
Okay, I'm going to put these also up in the group.
I created this maybe like a year or two ago.
And I just think that this is helping a lot of people.
So you don't have to write this all down right now.
I am going to put it in the group.
If I don't put it up tonight, I will put it up in the morning.
I call them morning and evening surrender moments.
Okay, they're very similar, but they are a little different in the morning.
So I would encourage you all to.
kind of write this out and keep it like, again, preferably not on your phone.
I'm really finding that when I turn my phone on, even to like look at prayer
things, I get, you know, messages and then it gets distracting.
So if I can keep my phone like out of the picture in the morning or at night
before I go to bed for certain amounts of time, if I'm trying to kind of get
into this place that I'm talking to you all about, it's been really helpful.
So in the morning, here is the prayer before getting out of bed, place
your hand on your heart and ask, Holy Spirit, what am I trying to roll today?
Oops.
Sorry.
I got a little feedback.
Hold on one sec.
Holy spirit.
What am I trying to control today?
That belongs to you.
Then whatever he said shows you, then you're going to speak it out.
I surrender my need to control.
Whatever that is today.
So for example, we had a situation that over the weekend, while we
were in the rest, you know, pattern come up with one of our staff members.
And I felt myself getting upset by something that they said and the way
they talked to me and here I am supposed to be resting, see how the enemy tries to
work.
And so I had to like, I worked on that a little bit to process it in my
heart while we were there.
And then I made the conscious choice.
I'm not going to handle this until we get home on Monday.
Like we got home last night, but I, I didn't work on it last night either.
I worked on it today when I started my work week again.
All right.
So some of y'all need to like, the reason I'm saying that is I needed to surrender
the need to control or respond to that very quickly.
Y'all I don't like, I don't like any kind of angst.
And so I tend to want to deal with that right away, but that's not always the
best thing because sometimes sitting without a few extra days gives you a
little bit more perspective.
I still see it very similar, but I feel like I gained more wisdom in the waiting.
I gained some clarity on some other things about, you know, kind of their
approach and some things God was showing me about, you know, I don't
think they had evil intentions.
I think that people have different maturity levels and sometimes people
just say things that they're not really being wise about, right?
So I can extend grace.
I can surrender that control.
I did address the situation, but God gave me everything I needed to do
that because I waited with him.
All right.
Here's the evening one before you go to sleep, same kind of hand on your heart.
I believe in that.
Y'all sometimes I'll even, I'm going to show you just cause I have my little
Bible here, sometimes I'll even just sit with my Bible, like just on me and just
kind of breathe the word of God in, if you will, like I feel super close to
the Lord just by having the word of God close to me, you might not feel that
way, but that's how I feel.
Like I love the Lord.
I love reading his word.
I love getting to know him.
And so I, when I hold it close, I think about that.
I think about how I feel when I read and I hear him or I pray and I see
something that he wants to say to me.
So it reminds me just having it close.
It reminds me of that feeling that I get with him, but whatever works for you.
Okay.
Sometimes I'll just do a hand on my heart and that's it.
But a lot of times, even in worship, you know, people will see me all the time.
I'm standing, I have my hand on my heart.
I just feel this divine connection for some reason when I do that.
So that's why I recommend it to people.
Um, but here's what you're going to ask.
And this is again, at the end of your day, before you go to sleep, what did I
pick back up today that I had given to you?
So maybe you put something on your Jesus cares board and then you took it back off
there, you know, that Jesus take the wheel and then we take it back.
Jesus take the wheel.
We take it back.
Yeah.
That's that whole scenario.
Then you're going to re surrender it to Jesus before you go to bed.
Jesus, I place whatever it is.
So for me, Jesus, I place Michaela back in your hands.
I place for salvation and our faith walk.
Ooh, man, it feels good to do that.
He's the savior.
I'm not her savior.
It's not our job to save people.
It's our job to plant seeds and share the gospel and the truth with them in love.
God, God is the only one it is his job to save them.
All right.
So if you guys are taking a lot of things on yourself that were never
intended for you to be carrying, this is how getting into the supernatural
surrender is a really good practice.
And this is not a tool that you're just going to use during heartwork.
I hope that you will literally keep your Jesus cares board in practice.
I still use mine.
I don't use it enough.
I realized that on the rest, the refresh retreat, I'm like, Ooh, I should've put
all these things that I was writing down the day that I was there onto the list.
board. All right. All right. I'm going to open it up for group coaching. I see Yasha already has her hand up, which is awesome. If anyone else is feeling open to sharing what you shared in the breakout with everyone, and we can do some group coaching. I do want it to be focused on the supernatural surrender. If you got coaching in the afternoon session, I want to make sure that we let people that are in the evening session that didn't get a chance to go to the afternoon, for them to get coaching first. So some of you I know you might have gotten
that. So I'll do my best to get to you as well. But if you had coaching this afternoon, that might be why I wait on some of y'all. All right, Yash, go ahead.
Thanks, Bethany. So when you asked us to surrender, what I've been thinking about, I think this morning, something really came up when I was praying. So I've been, of course, working through the heart work and heart healing, with all the problems and
activations that y'all were doing. So something that Lord put in my heart was that my heart is so fearful about the cultural experience. I mean, I call it trauma. When I experienced as a very young person. So I was born in Sri Lanka and raised there. And then I moved to Hong Kong about six years ago on by myself. And I'm the only child in the family. My parents still live in Sri Lanka. So I was born as a Buddhist.
I got to know the Lord about about 10 years ago. And my parents also go to church, but they also follow Buddhism as well. So I would say they're on the fence. So they've always in the past, they have bought, brought, maybe tried to arrange marriages for me when I was in Sri Lanka. These people are not Christians. They were always Buddhist. So I mean, at that time, I did not know the Lord as well. So I considered them, I considered talking to them, but I did not have peace at all.
At one point, I remember a couple of cases, I couldn't even breathe when I was talking to me talking to them. So it was the anxiety was that much. So then fast forward right now, I told my parents, listen, you need to allow me to pray about it and allow the Lord to open the doors for that and be open to it. And I think today I realized in the morning that I sometimes think of God as the same way I think of my parents, that if he
brings something to me that I do not have any peace or attraction, it means that I'm being disobedient. And it's just that I need to understand God is different than my parents. So if you have any helpful tips with any, I'm really all open to hear for it.
Yeah, and honestly, Yash, sometimes it's just working it out on paper. Okay. So for example, sometimes I've had to literally write out, you know, whatever it is I'm processing, if it's a person, you know, I was considering talking to you or the situation or dynamic. And just that reminding myself that God, you are not my parents.
I trust that you have good things in store for me. And you have my best interest at heart.
So for example, when I was saying earlier tonight, how the enemy had been lying to me about, you know, some areas with the, you know, things in my own life, and not really having enough time to grieve. And I really think that's what opened the door to the Lord. And so, or excuse me, to the enemy, to come in further. And so for whatever it's worth, I kind of am thinking about that a little bit as you're talking about this dynamic with your parents, because I know that you have to be open to it.
Because I know that you have good parents, we've talked about your parents quite a bit, I know they had good intentions for you, introducing you to those people to get married. But the reality is, is trust on some level was broken, which would, which is what causes you to struggle to trust that God would have something good in store for you.
And so I want to encourage you, kind of what keeps coming to mind is like, I'm asking God to heal that, what I keep seeing is like a hole, but there's a bridge going over it. Like, you know, a lot of times we think it has to be like, you know, God is going to literally fill the hole, and He will, but sometimes He gives us a bridge to kind of go over that thing for now.
Because sometimes until we're in a situation, it just might not be the fullness, like we might heal some, but then there will come a day when we're like, man, that just kind of helped me like really get over that thing.
And so for whatever it's worth, I know that's not necessarily tangible things, but I'm just
telling you, like, I feel like really asking God to heal the
wounds of because you're saying, you know, they were sending
non Christian people your way. And there's all this pressure,
pressure culturally to marry. And so reminding you that Jesus
is your bridge. Like, he's the bridge. He's the way, you know,
and so he can enable you to almost just keep hearing to
release your parents from from that, like, they were genuinely
doing what they know to do. And so I think if you can release
them, like just release them fully, and let go of any anger
and disappointment. For doing that, I again, I'm just sharing
as things are coming to me, if it doesn't resonate, you can
just pitch it, but that you will be able to then bypass, if you
will, that in the future, where it's not going to feel like this
big, like, God, I don't think you have good things, I think
that it's going to start to heal more. And you know, those things
take time, especially when you're still in some of that
cultural pressure, because, I mean, your parents are still
your parents, right? Sometimes we go through things, and people
are bringing something back up. And they don't mean to open a
wound back up. But every time it happens, it kind of does that,
right? And so I'm, yeah, those are the couple things that I
have tonight. And I know, we've chatted about this before. And
so I'm trying to really lean into something new, as well.
Sorry, I just want to add one more thing. Because I mean,
those days, whenever I told them, no, this is not the one,
then they said, you're too choosy. You always say no. And
I mean, I felt so disappointed, right? So I think I carried that
into all those years. And even now that I have this fear of
disappointing my parents and disappointing, disappointed
about myself for, you know, not having the prompt to move
forward with those options or any other options. So
do you still need to forgive yourself for this? I feel like
this, we've circled back to this, you know what I'm saying?
And that's not bad, but I want you to kind of look at, I feel
like what's happening is this lie still keeps coming up. And
so I'm, I almost feel like when you say I'm really so
struggling with disappointment in myself, like, should I have
just gone with what they said? Should I have just picked that
person? Again, that's what I'm kind of hearing you say. And
so to me, that points back to forgiving yourself, like really
forgiving yourself and letting, I keep hearing releasing, like
letting it go. You can't change the past. You can't go back, you
can't change it. All you can do is move forward, Yash. And I
feel like the enemy just wants you to keep looking back. And if
anything presents itself, that sounds similar. What I mean by
that is sometimes the enemy is going to come and he's going to
say something to you. And it's going to sound similar to what
you've already processed and healed, but you have to choose
differently now than you did before. So just like myself, I
have the opportunity to partner with the enemy in a lie when
it's presented. And again, God doesn't get mad at us if we make
a mistake and partner with a lie. We don't mean to, it's
because we have brokenness. But I have a choice. I can either
choose to partner with that or I can say, you know what? No,
like that isn't true. This is who God is. This is what God is
saying to me. This is what God's spoken over my life. And this is
the direction I'm going in, where we're resisting, you know,
the things that the enemy is saying, and we're saying, okay,
I'm not partnering with that anymore. And so I know that
that isn't easy, necessarily, but it will be worth it. So when
you hear lies, like you're too choosy, or this, you're that,
you're, you know, it's going to come down to you're going to
have to take authority over your thoughts, and tell you tell
the devil where to go. I mean, ladies, I mean, literally, we
have to do that. And if we don't, he's just going to keep
stomping all over us. And so the other the other picture that I
had is, and this is different than the silhouette that I have
you guys do. But I would like for you to do like, take a
picture of yourself, you can take one that's printed out, put
it in the center of a paper, and then around the edge, I want
you to write all of the negative things that you hear. So like
the too choosy, whatever, anything like when it comes to
picking someone, all the negative stuff you've been
hearing, but then I want you to literally like, one by one,
Lord, what is the truth to replace this lie?
And some of this, he might have to redeem in you, Yash. I mean, if there has been times where
I don't think you're too picky, but if there have been times where that's kind of
the fear in you is causing you to really hold back on even good guys, well then that's different
than being trying to be paired with someone that doesn't have godly principles. Because you know,
as a Christian, God doesn't want you to be yoked with an unbeliever, right? Yeah. Okay. So I want
you to one, but like, I think that'll be really powerful for you because it's, it's about you
personally, where you're working through the lies that you've been hearing and asking God,
okay, what's the truth about me? Because I think this goes back to identity for you
and really standing in who God is calling you to be and being confident in that. And again,
like, that's why it partners with, you know, telling the devil where to go, essentially,
and like, you're not going to listen to things that he's saying to you and that you're going
to choose to believe God's truth. But it takes work. It does. And just, but if you stay committed
to it, there will come a day where that will not be a battle for you. Not the same way it is right
now. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thanks for sharing. I know there's a lot
of people that resonate with that kind of stuff. Appreciate you. Ailyn, go ahead.
Hi. Hi. So things that God has been asking me to surrender, the first thing that I talked about in
the breakout room was trauma. But after I came back, he also had said idols and pride.
And I can tell you right now, I've had a lot of idols. One of them being food and relationships,
specifically with men, romantically. And then pride as in, I can do it. I've got everything.
And we need to surrender that. I need to surrender. And I was telling my mom about it today,
is I was having some trouble with actually, like, seeing. And there would be times where
my vision would close in, like narrow, and then sometimes it would just go completely black.
And it's gotten better. And I think it's because there was, like, an idol that was doing that to
me. Because idols are deaf, mute, and blind, right? And so I think it was me actually working
healing myself. And in this heart work, I know there's still more I have to do.
But I haven't had as much of my vision going out. Thank God. And so,
yeah, I'm in that right now. Yeah. Well, I was gonna ask you even before you started sharing,
can you tell a difference in yourself from the first time you shared on here? Because I can.
I know some of our other ladies that have been here for a while. Your voice is getting stronger.
I feel like you're showing up a little more confident. I see more of that shining through
in you. So I'm so glad for you on that. The one thing I will say is, the way I would describe
it just to help you grow in as you're explaining this to people. So a spirit can have that kind of
influence versus like an idol. An idol is something that we put before God. So if you
were feeling some kind of physical affliction, that is going to be a spirit that the enemy is
using to assault you physically. I just want you to have that kind of
explanation as you're kind of walking in this. And that can be a very real thing.
So I'm glad that that's starting to lessen. That's what I heard you saying, right? That's getting
happening less. And I don't want people to get scared. Some of y'all won't have any of that
kind of stuff happen. If you do, always use wisdom to like, if it doesn't go away, you should
definitely go see a doctor, make sure nothing else is going on. But sometimes people will have
spirits of slumber that'll come on them, where they literally will not be able to, every time
they try to do heart work or try to do any kind of healing or read the Bible, like they will
literally feel like they can't keep their eyes open. Those are real things that can happen to
people. So don't be afraid.
know that greater is he that's in you than he that is in the world, and the Lord can help you overcome
that. Jesus lives in you. And so, Ailyn, I'm so glad that you're seeing a change and a transformation.
And, you know, I think it's important to just edify you. Heart healing will happen, ladies,
continuously. So don't feel like if you go to phase two, like you just have to be perfect.
That's not true. You're going to have heart healing that's going to happen there. You're
going to have heart healing when you get in relationship. There's, you know, the whole way,
as you continue to surrender to the Lord in the process, as you continue to stay in community,
a hundred percent, the people that I feel like have really felt confident in the process,
they really stay together. They stay in community. But just know that no matter what, anybody,
this is to all of y'all, you can always come back. You can always come back and revisit things
and reconnect and all of that. So, Ailyn, as you're looking at the pride aspect, I did want
to kind of bring this up for you. I love that you're recognizing that that's still showing up
at times. So is there a certain area that you are recognizing the I can do it is showing up still
for you? A lot of areas, I guess. I'm still thinking, sorry. That's all right. And if you
don't know right now, it's totally fine. But I just wanted to give you that opportunity.
I feel like part of it, it has to, like, it doesn't have to be right. But I think part
of it, because I'm a single mother, it's like, no, I have to do this. And I have to, like,
prove myself. And I, like, have this boundary struggle with my dad, because he grew up a
certain way. And so he has, like, his way of viewing things where I'm trying to parent and
do the things. But I'm also trying to, like, prove myself to him. And so maybe it's not exactly
pride, but it's also a little bit of pride.
But I don't know. That's I think that's what I've been feeling recently. Yeah. And that's
pretty normal, especially, sorry, ladies, little allergies are happening here in Florida.
And especially when we're trying to fill that connection that we didn't get in the past or
things that we wanted. We want someone, whether it's the mom or the dad, or some people can be
their sibling or siblings where we want them to be proud of us. We want them to recognize how
much we've achieved or how well we're doing. So that can be a natural kind of path and road that
we go down. I will say to you, and for anyone else, just as you're working on boundaries,
just know that it's okay for you to do things differently than how your parents did it,
even if they don't understand it. So back to like earlier, you know, how I was saying some parents
try to control everything for their kids, because they don't want their kids to hurt. They don't
want their kids to feel that, you know, pain. And so it's not that it's coming from a bad place,
but sometimes, you know, we, even as adults, our parents will still not know how to let go. And
not that that's the case here, Ailyn, but I just wanted to use that for anyone else that might be
kind of going through some of those things. But I feel like the more that you know who you are,
the more that you express your thoughts, your feelings. Again, I think that confidence is
starting to show through in you. And so these are good things that you're practicing. So
I think that the balance that I would encourage you to keep praying into is for the Lord to show
you when is it okay to stand in your strength, right, with a person, and when is it that He
wants you to surrender, and how does He want you to surrender. And He'll show you that as you keep
walking forward. Yeah. Because sometimes it's about asking people to help us, too. And we talk
about that in some of our sessions, like asking people to help us, receiving help from people.
So yeah, getting this kind of down pat a little bit more will be good for you. Yeah.
Thank you. You're welcome. Thanks for sharing. Appreciate you. Haley, go ahead.
Hello. So the thing that I shared in the group tonight was,
I am going to be graduating from Bible college.
Um, in a few weeks, and so I've realized that I've been very stressed out about, like, what my next steps are.
Needing to, like, know what the next thing is, because I don't have clarity from the Lord yet on what that is.
Thank you guys and so that was 1 thing that I shared with the other thing that I.
Realize as we were talking tonight to that, um, I've been going through.
A health journey for probably about a year, um, with the Lord really showing me how to, like, clean up my diet and there was just like, there was a scare of something that happened, but it kind of hit a plateau.
And so I've noticed myself being stressed about that, too, like, trying to latch on and get control of, like, what's going on because I'm not seeing the results and then.
You know, I'm like, I just did 2 years of faith school and I'm not in faith. So, um, just, you know, that kind of thing pops up. So, yeah.
Yeah, isn't that so real though? You know, we say a lot of times when we're about to preach typically the week before you preach a message, we get tested and tested and tested thing. It's real.
Well, I love that. Congratulations, by the way. That's awesome. Um, as you're stepping into the, like, areas of having that faith that God is kind of talking to you about, I would encourage you remember, like, you know, fear and faith are kind of opposites, but so are love and fear.
So typically if we're struggling with faith, there's probably an area that we need God to solidify, like, us in his love, like, what does that look like? And the more that we get solidified in the love, the more the fear will start to dissipate.
And the love is what enables us to, I feel like my faith has grown the more I understand God's love and his provision and all of the things that he is, like his character. And so, um, I would encourage you just to ask the Lord, is there any additional areas where I still, like, need to grow in the revelation of who you are is love to me, not just to other people, not just to God.
So that you can have a means to an ends like that faith for something, but just for you, if you never give, like, kind of like how I've said before, like, if we never served one day, God would love us the same, but what does it mean to abide in that love, you know, and really knowing what that looks like and sounds like, and allowing that to permeate, you know,
even the the revelation of K God, like, I'm struggling with this physical situation, and the enemy is like, coming against, you know, me in this, and it's causing me, you said, you know, to feel scared. Well, here is feeling the feelings of, you know, that scared feeling, you know, so if we look at what is the false evidence that's appearing real? And how can love counteract all of that?
Yeah, it goes back to love, ladies, it really, really does. Even in the supernatural surrender, a lot of times, the reasons that we don't surrender is because we don't really believe God loves us enough. And we don't believe we can trust him.
It really always goes back to that. Yeah. So I encourage you to pray into that Haley, and then, you know, come in the group and let us know how that goes. There might be some things that come up with that. And it doesn't mean that we don't like know it in our heads, ladies, that God loves us. Most of us know in our heads, God loves me, because someone told us that we went to church, we heard it, we, you know, worship about it, we sing the songs, God loves us.
But to know it, like in here, deep in our soul, in our heart down there. Super important. Amy, good night. Thanks for being here. So lean into that and let us know how that goes. And look forward to hearing more about that. Okay. Yeah, awesome.
Alright, so I'm probably gonna be able to do I'll try to Chrissy, Roseanne, Donna, I'll try to get to all three of you. But if I can't, just because my voice is starting to go a little bit too, I'm going to do my best. But I'm going to try to hang in and do as many but if any of y'all need to jump off at 930. It's 930. Now, excuse me, totally understand. I want to bless you all as you go. But Chrissy, go ahead. We'd love to hear what you have to say.
Are we live?
Yes.
Okay.
Um, so I, um, I wrote down, yeah, I can do it myself.
Like I just feel like, uh, I'm sure it's from movies, but I just feel like as a child, like
I can do it myself.
And, um, even when we were talking about the Jesus cares board, I was like, Oh yeah.
Like let me add some things to that.
And I started writing things down and I felt this, like you're writing it down, but you're
not giving it to me.
And um, and so I was like, Oh, okay.
And I didn't realize this until now, this evening, I can feel the symptoms of my heart.
And I felt it Sunday too.
I felt, I got very dizzy.
Um, I was getting very, like, it's like a tightness in my chest.
I can feel my heart beating and it's not beating properly, which is what the diagnosis was.
But, um, it's like a tightness in my chest and I almost feel like short of breath, but
I'm not short of breath.
Yeah.
I totally understand.
Yeah.
Okay.
And, um, I mean, even while you were talking to the other two, I was writing things down,
like God, you are not my parents.
And like that came to mind, the dream that I had before that started this heart issue.
Um, I was angry at them and I was angry.
And I was like, why are you making me do this?
And I would, yeah.
I forget.
Do you live with your parents?
I live with my parents now.
Yes.
My grandparents passed away.
Both sets of grandparents passed away a while back, but I do live with my parents and my,
my mom.
And I actually had a little bit of conversations this weekend, um, about like, because my sister
and my niece may be having to move back in.
It's just the reality of the situation we live in.
Um, and so we're having to talk about all that too.
And so I, I think I was just feeling a lot more like I'm probably holding it all in.
So I was trying to let go of some things and like have conversations with her.
Have you considered praying into, um, finding a roommate and living with like a friend?
Uh, I don't, I don't put it past, like, I wouldn't mind.
I just don't really have friends here.
Okay.
I'm starting to make them at church though.
Yeah.
Um, I think even if it's something you just pray into, because I'll tell you this, I want
to just sow a seed of faith in you.
I'm not saying don't live with your parents.
I'm not trying to tell you what you should do, but I'm hearing you say that you're having
physical symptoms showing up because of dynamics with your parents and not, of course you can
work through those a hundred percent, but I'm just trying to think for you going forward.
Um, I think you having some separation, not complete, like you never talked to them, but
just having some separation from them so that you can kind of establish yourself on your
own, I think is going to be really helpful for you.
Um, years ago I moved, this is when I first moved up to Cleveland.
I started going to a new church.
I didn't know anybody, but I wanted to move to that area.
The guy I was dating actually ended up marrying him at the time, like years later, but he
was the one that, uh, it didn't go well with, but I had no clue.
Um, I just happened to talk this one lady at the church.
I literally met her that day and I was just talking about my desire to move to that area,
but I'm like, but I don't know anybody.
And she's like, I want to get an apartment too.
What do you think about like, if we live together?
I literally had just met her that day.
Um, but anyways, um, we ended up talking it out and we decided to move in together
and it was amazing.
And so again, not that you need to do that, but I just want to plant a seed that
sometimes God does unexpected things like that as well, where we might not even know
someone super great, but God just provides.
And so I prayed over all of you tonight when you were in there about and suddenly is, I
don't know if I, maybe I prayed that when we opened tonight, but I remember praying
it at some point that, you know, God would just start to raise your level of expectancy
that he wants to do, you know, and suddenly unexpected things for you all to bring
solutions to, you know, scenarios and problems.
that you're facing, if you will, and bring peace to that.
Um, when you said that I can't do it myself, um, earlier when I was sharing
kind of what I was alluding to is sometimes I would have this inner tantrum
feeling like I was an adult and I knew I needed to make adult decisions, but on
the inside, I was feeling like a little kid and I was like thrown a tantrum
internally.
And so I know that that happens for people and it shows up in different ways
for everybody, but where you just feel that dissonance, if you will, where there
is just like, you're just like, I just want my way, God, like, I just want, you
know, like we're, we want it in our way and our time, you know, all the things.
And when it doesn't come that way, especially when there's something we
were believing for and we face disappointment, um, but see, God is
filling your hope tank week after week.
He's putting things in there.
Um, and so I want to encourage you to pray into that kind of little kid kind
of feel that tantrum feel that raises up that where you just want to figure it
out yourself, do it yourself, you know, whatever that looks like, feels like,
and just surrender all of that.
And if God is saying to you, Hey, you're putting these things on the board, but
you're not really giving them up to me.
I want to encourage you to ask him to show you how to give it to him.
Like, what is that?
He'll show you what it will look like.
And then you can walk some of those things out, but keep us posted on that
physical stuff that's going on.
Chrissy, did you say that you are going to see a doctor about that?
Um, so I have, I have my, um, I did my monitor and the echocardiogram.
Um, we still haven't heard back about a stress test, but I don't know about that.
Are you ever able to join ladies prayer on during the week?
I do.
I'm usually on there.
Um, I am working, so I can't always make sure you put in the chat when you go the
next time that you need prayer for healing physically, let's just keep that
before the Lord with the community.
Um, we have literally prayed people into healing in this community.
So I want to keep that in front of people and we're never going to get
tired of praying for you for that.
So just go ahead and put, make sure you, when you're on, there's no pressure.
You can put that in the chat.
You don't have to talk and the team will see it.
And we can kind of include that as we pray for healing for people.
All right.
Definitely.
Thank you.
Awesome.
You're welcome.
We're so glad you're here.
Roseanne.
Hi.
Hello.
Hi.
Um, so I don't, I've told the group.
I don't know that this is really an area of, I don't know, in my mind, it doesn't
fit description of surrender, but it kind of is because tonight when you were
talking about, um, your time away at the retreat and just taking that intentional
time to, you know, focus on the Lord and you'd have, you know, been through a lot
of things and not really taken the time to process it totally.
I just feel like there's been a lot going on in my life and I, I, I, I don't, I
wouldn't say that I knowingly was like, I'll just do this myself, you know, just
do it in my own energy or my own initiative, but it's what's been happening
because it's how life has moved.
Um, and you know, there have been some of the things that I have, you know,
prayed and asked the Lord for direction and wisdom, and I feel like I've gotten
some wisdom on some of the things, but I don't know if I've gotten total wisdom.
I don't know.
I just felt like I wanted to share, um, that, you know, the thing that came to my
mind, a couple of different music really ministers to me.
So like a couple of different songs or lines from songs and what the first one
was, I'm coming back to the heart of worship where it's all about you.
Yeah.
And then the other one is an old, old, see this gray hair, an old, um, Oh, I can't
even think darling Jack song.
Um, Lord, I give you my heart.
I give you my soul.
I live for you alone.
Every breath that I take every moment I'm awake, I live for you alone.
And so I just wanted to, I feel like being a share.
So I love it.
And Hey, just don't ever underestimate that because there might be some ladies
on here that needed to hear those words tonight or watch the replay seriously.
So thank you for sharing that.
I do want you to know that.
Um, that totally aligns with surrender, the recognizing that maybe you need to.
slow down, and just spend some time. When you were talking, I
wrote down, I heard the Lord say, she is strong. And I know
even if I'm not mistaken, you had some health things that came
up right when you came into this community. Yeah, yeah. But
here's the thing. God recognizes that you are strong. He's I know
that about you. But he's even saying that over you tonight.
But here's the thing. What I saw as I was saying this to you is
like, you know, those trust falls. Where, you know, people
will fall back into arms or even back into water, they'll just
kind of fall and they'll go all in. I, that's what I saw for
you, just that you would take some time to just go all in in
that like posture of, you know, maybe it is worship, maybe it is
going on a little retreat where, you know, even if you go,
I don't know what your finances look like. So I'm not trying to
tell you what but like, even if you could find like a cabin, if
a friend has a cabin, they can loan you or something. I don't
know if your soul gets fed by like being in the woods and being
in nature, but whatever ministers to you, right, you
find a peaceful center. I want to encourage you to try to
invest in that in the next few months here that you'll take
some time. And when you go, I don't want you to do a lot of
work. I don't want you to try to even work on yourself a lot.
Like maybe it's just about rest and going and seeing some new
places. And, you know, yeah, just exploring a new, like some
new aspects of yourself, like seeing a new area. And how does
that make you feel? What do you love about it? And just allow
yourself to enjoy that moment without having to fix something
in yourself.
That makes sense.
Yeah, definitely does. It's confirmation. I've been kind of
looking into a retreat thing that's coming up at the end of
or the first of May. I'm not sure I can arrange my work
schedule, but thank you for that.
Yeah, you're welcome. And if it's not that retreat, just know,
because sometimes, you know, like Jack even said in the
Supernatural Saturday, I think how sometimes like stuff starts
happening, we automatically think that's the Lord and it is
probably because he's trying to nudge you towards doing some
kind of retreat. So if you can't work out that one with your work
schedule, he might just be using that to confirm and now here I
am again tonight talking about a retreat. I had no intention of
telling you guys when I came on live tonight that we went on a
retreat, it just came up in my spirit as I was talking, because
it's fresh too. But you know, God seems to be nudging you in
that direction. So trust the timing of it too.
Thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome. Thank you for sharing. I appreciate you
sharing those songs as well. Donna B. Go ahead.
Hi, I don't know if you can see me. I'm not sure about this
technology thing. But anyway, when you asked about the
surrendering, the thing that came up for me is not controlling
the outcomes between my daughter and her ex Beyonce. I moved out
I moved from Florida to Washington State, which I really
don't like out here. But I get mad, I'm finding that I'm
getting mad at her when she doesn't have clothes for the
grandson or she doesn't have like holiday schedules. And like
I'm trying to protect her and trying to look out for her best
interests. But I'm finding it's affecting my health. Like I got
high cortisol levels gained 20 pounds. I mean, and I just don't
really know how to really like surrender that. So if you have
any suggestions, I'd really be
Well, so let me ask you this. Are you saying that you moved
from Florida to Washington State to be near your daughter and
help her?
Correct. She Yeah, she she didn't have any other help out
here. And I wanted her to keep custody of her three year old
son. So I came out here to like while she either would work or
be in school, she wants to get into nursing and unfortunately,
it's been rejected like six times very disappointed. But
she's still trying for this nursing school. So I'm out here
helping her. So while she has my help take care of him.
So when you feel mad at her, tell me what that what causes
that like, what is she doing that you feel mad about?
I get upset with her because I guess she doesn't assert
herself with her ex boyfriend. You know, like they don't have a
set schedule. Like, you know, she doesn't ask them. Hey, you
know, we need the clothes like this weekend, he had no clothes
for school today, with the exception of a pair of pants
from the daycare. Like all our clothes, it goes over to the ex
boyfriend's house or fiance, and we don't get it back. And, you
know, like, she needs to do that. And I, you know, we need
to have clothes over here.
And then the same thing with holidays,
like whether it's Easter or anything,
I said, you've got to have these things set.
It's like, you can't wait to that day.
Or then he plays games, you know,
saying he's not gonna, you know, for Easter.
We didn't know until Sunday just about
that we were getting him.
And then we only got him from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Like it's, you know, but it shouldn't be my business.
I shouldn't even, but I guess I'm getting upset.
I'm like, why am I caring?
Why am I letting this bother me again?
Because you're a human being
and this stuff also impacts your grandchild
as well as your life and your daughter's life.
I think it would be,
I would be more shocked if it didn't impact you.
But here's the thing, you can't control, you can't.
Unfortunately, she's gonna have to make decisions
for herself and you guys might've thought of this,
but back in the day,
not that this is the letting go part,
but back in the day when I was married before,
my stepson, we would have the same stuff happen
when we would send clothes to his mom's house,
they wouldn't come back or things like that.
And so what ended up happening is we just decided
we weren't gonna send clothes anymore.
She had to have her own and we had our own
and that's just the way we did it.
And so I wouldn't maybe even talk to your daughter
about considering that, but again, you can't make her do it.
But that's just a suggestion.
And that was something that became very beneficial
because then it kept things kind of more,
kind of just cut right through
and we didn't have to worry about
where the clothes were coming from
because we always had our stuff.
And it's not saying we never ever sent,
but for the most part, we did not pack a bag
and send the bag back and forth.
She didn't send clothes to us, we didn't send clothes to her,
we bought our own stuff, all the things.
On the part about yourself,
you know, at the end of the day,
what I really, you have to look at
is what is really causing the upset in you?
It is sadness, right?
Maybe is there, let me ask you this.
So I know that you moved there to help her
because she needed help.
Do you resent her at all for that?
I don't know that I resent her,
but what I did have to do, I had a grief leaving Florida
because I waited 19 years to move to Florida
and I was there six years.
That's my happy place.
I love Naples, Florida.
And I don't really like Washington
except maybe in the summertime.
And then I came out here and then she said,
oh, well, you could help me as long as I want.
And now it's like, instead of like two years of nursing
because she's not into nursing school yet,
now it's like three or it could be four.
And I was like, I'm not planning
on spending my whole life here.
I'm praying she gets back with the ex-boyfriend
or meet somebody else so I can go back to Florida.
I mean, I feel like God has me here for now.
So let me ask you a question.
Why can't she keep her son on her own or your grand?
Is it a boy or girl?
It's a little boy.
He's so precious, Andre.
He's a blessing.
But the dad, and they actually have a thing.
They want to spend time.
He actually wanted the kid full-time.
And she said, no, that they got to do 50-50.
So we get them for two days.
He gets them for two days.
We get them for three days.
Then that's-
Here's my question.
Sorry, here's my question for you.
No, go ahead.
Why can she not, and I'm not saying she shouldn't.
I'm just asking you.
I want to hear what you have to say.
Why can she not take care of him on her own?
So what that might look like is going to school
and having daycare.
Because you're saying you had to.
You had to go there to help her, okay?
I want you to hear some of the verbiage.
Yeah, well, I chose to go there.
I didn't have to come out here.
I chose to come out here.
And I felt like,
because she didn't have anybody out here to help her.
And I was single.
I didn't have anything holding me back.
I was like, well, I might as well come here.
And plus I came out of a year long depression
and she wanted to quote unquote, help take care of me.
But I don't need her help for that.
I'm actually healthier than she is right now, I think.
Yeah, so the reason,
and it doesn't mean that I didn't think necessarily
that you chose to go there,
but I want, because this is what can happen.
Mm-hmm.
You said it really well.
I grieved, like I grieved leaving Florida.
Then when you were talking about it,
you're saying,
because she's going to go to nursing school for longer,
then you're like, well, I don't want to stay that long.
Which I think is really important for you
to kind of start establishing,
what is your plan apart from your daughters
and your grandkids?
If you want to stay there,
but you know, because your grandkid is there
and you want to be around him,
that's different.
But if you're staying because you're concerned
that your daughter can't handle being a parent,
that's different.
Well, I don't know that she can't handle.
She's a very good mom.
She is a really good mom.
The thing is, me, I had, when I got divorced, I had my daughter full-time and, or custody,
whatever, parental, I don't know, whatever it is, custodial custody, or I don't know,
whatever it was, but my ex-husband only saw her on weekends and, but her and Abe, her ex-fiancé,
they want to split the time 50-50. Yeah, which is normal.
Honestly, he really wanted to have the kid full-time so he didn't have to pay her any
child support. So why did you, again, I want to circle back, I'm pushing on this for a reason
tonight with you, and I mean this out of a lot of love, but I want you to kind of get to the root of
why are you still there? Are you there because you want to be there? Are you there because you
feel like you have to be there because there's something you think she cannot do?
Well, I promised her, I promised that I would come out here while she was in nursing to give
her help because I didn't want her to lose, this is the bottom line, I don't want her to lose
custody of Andre. I don't want the father to have custody for the whole year and have her.
Why would she lose custody of her child? Well, not lose custody, but when she's,
she's a nurse, if she gets into nursing school, which is what she's trying to get into and
unfortunately been like rejected like six times, even from like x-ray technician. So that's just
going to take a lot of her time. So she would need somebody here to either bring the kid to
daycare, pick the kid up from daycare, feed the kid when she's at school or in classes or in labs
for nursing school, or you know, if she was, you know, working or something, she would,
she would need somebody until she was either, I don't know that it doesn't seem like either one
of them want back in a relationship, I keep praying for it, but unless she's got somebody,
like she needs somebody to help her. And if it's not me, she has nobody. There's no friends. She
has no friends out here or very few. So I can help her. Okay. So here's the thing. This is
why I was kind of leaning into this. You started talking more and I'm hearing more of what is the
bottom line. Here's a couple of things. The two of those people should not be together if they
are not healthy to be a couple together. Okay. So I'm just going to say that if God wants them
together, cool. That's awesome. But I wouldn't try to encourage them to go back into relationship
with each other if they are not a healthy couple together. Okay. Establishing that number two,
I think that you're going to really have to sit down and decide why you are there
and what you're passionate about. Like, why are you passionate to stay there? Because if not,
I think it is going to create resentment and anger because if she does anything that you don't think
she should do, there's this, I don't want to say entitlement, but there's this sense of like,
I came here to do this for you. You know, again, I'm not trying to put words in your mouth.
You have to decide what's really fueling that stuff in you. I don't want her son taken away
from her. I don't want her to lose her son. I know, but I think it's more than that. I think
there's more to this for you. I don't know. I might have to pray on it because I don't,
I mean, that's really like what compels me to stay here is for that because otherwise I'd be in
Florida or be in Florida half the time and here half the time, but I wouldn't be here the whole
time. But the thing is she has nobody else. And I feel as a mom, like my mom was always there for
me when I needed her. I want you to be happy. I want you to be happy about that decision. That's
why I'm again, that's why I want you to pray into this. And I really want you to ask the Lord
kind of what is the root of the anger? What's caught? Like what is happening underneath the
surface in you that's causing you to feel, you know, those kinds of ways. And the reason I
pushed on this so much regarding you being there is not because I think you should leave. I just
want you to get to a place where you feel joy because you are there, not like you are,
you know, bound in chains. In fact, you know, it's funny you say joy because that's the one
thing I keep asking God to pray is restore my joy, restore my joy because I don't have joy here.
And I'm saying, you know, I say what I'm thankful for every time. And part of it is I don't have
friends out here. I don't like, I'm scared to drive around here because it's windy roads and
steep roads. And I mean, I'm trying to push myself to go, but I really only go like 30 minutes. I
can't even go like two hours, like say, Oh, I want to go out and check out this cute little town.
I'm afraid to go because of the windy roads and the steepness and no guardrails and the steep
drop-offs. So I'm like, I was like, God, I was like, I didn't, I was like, I don't even, you
know, go anywhere. Yeah. So is your daughter not moving? I'm going to assume this is the case,
but I'm asking for clarity. Is your daughter not moving to Florida because of the.
ad being there and he wants to have custody.
That might be part of it,
but actually I don't think that's it at all.
She hates Florida.
She can't stand the heat, the flatness.
She loves the mountains,
just like Florida is my happy place for the people.
Hers is this mountains out here.
She's been here 10 years and she just Colorado
and then here, she just loves it out here.
Okay, well, so I think if you're gonna be there
to help her, that's your decision you're making.
I think we're coming to a place of maybe
even if you moved a little further away,
just, I think there's some things
that might have to shift for you
because at the end of the day,
you're saying you can't go anywhere.
You, it's literally hindering your ability to make friends.
You're getting upset because she's not doing certain things.
You know, like this is a road
that doesn't sound super healthy, Donna.
And so that's why I'm kind of leaning into this
with you a little bit.
And I don't want you to think like,
oh, you're just doing this wrong.
I think it's amazing that you're there
and you're helping your daughter.
I wish my mom would have had the capability
to do those kinds of things when I was, you know,
had my, the girls when they were younger
and all those things.
I think it's wonderful and it's beautiful,
but I just want you to get to a place in your heart
that there is an inner peace and happiness
versus feeling like things were taken from you
and you're in this bondage there.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
So I want you to pray into that.
And I would love for you to really pray into,
even though, you know, you're afraid of the windy roads,
maybe someone else can, like a friend
that you meet somewhere at a church or something,
maybe someone can come and pick you up.
Like, I just want you to pray into the potential
and possibilities that are out there as well.
So I'll be praying for you.
Pray into that.
I appreciate that.
Come in.
I know it can feel really hard.
I appreciate you hanging in there with me.
Sometimes when I'm kind of pushing,
I want you to know it really is out of a place of love
and support for you, for your family.
I want the best for your daughter, for your grandson,
all of them.
Yeah.
So we're going to be praying.
We're going to believe for God's, you know,
plan to get revealed to all of them, including you.
And so thank you for sharing your story with us
and coming alongside of you.
Yeah.
My pleasure.
Ladies, I'm going to go ahead and close this out.
It's been awesome to be here with you tonight.
And I hope that you continue to pray into this,
all the things that we talked about tonight,
even the things that I'm coaching, you know,
it's really important for us to really know
why we do what we do.
Okay.
So when we, a lot of times I'll talk to you all,
and this isn't necessarily about Donna,
but just it made me think about it.
We will say they are making me this way.
And she didn't say that,
but I want, I just feel like kind of that nudge
to say this before we close tonight,
that we have to be really good at,
like we have to practice owning our feelings.
Okay.
I feel mad because,
and really identify what is causing that.
And underneath mad is typically sadness and frustration.
Okay.
So pray into those.
If you have any of those kinds of things surfacing,
let's see what God wants to reveal to you.
Come in the group, share with us,
and we'll go from there.
Father, thank you so much
for everything that you've done tonight,
everything you're going to continue to do.
God, we thank you for continued revealings for healing.
We speak life and hope and truth, God,
where there's obstacles, where people feel stuck.
God, we thank you that you would remove obstacles,
that you would remove the things that we, yes, Lord,
the doubts, the fears, the unbelief, God,
all the reasons why something can't happen.
God, we know that you are the God of the impossible.
And I thank you that you are resurrecting stories,
you're resurrecting lives.
And I thank you that you're resurrecting us.
And we just ask you to continue
to accelerate the healing process in all of our lives.
Bless them all with Salem rest tonight in Jesus name.
Amen.
God bless you all.
Have a great night, everyone.
Bye-bye.