here. All right, so if you're just joining, I see someone just popped on. David and I
switched tonight. He's with the ladies and I came over here to do a little coaching with
you guys and or Q&A. So you want to ask stuff about women in general, you want to ask about
anything in particular that has to do with dating, that has to do with a woman that you
might be talking to or want to talk to, anything and everything. We'll just do a little Q&A
and a little coaching tonight. Does that sound good? Awesome. Okay, let's see. We have Chris
here and David and Kevin and Mike and Matthew and Rodney. A couple of you are new to me.
So hey, guys. I mean, I haven't formally met you maybe before. Right. So what are you guys
up to? What are you guys working on? And also, you know, some of you are newer, but those
of you that are not newer, that you've been around for a while, David, Mike, Matthew,
I really want to help you guys get moving forward because, you know, the year's almost
half over. And I think that this is a very special and amazing year for marriage.
Oh, another. Oh, Kenton. And Kenton is here, too. Hi, Kenton.
Hello, Chris. It's good to see you again.
Yep. I am going to be your coach tonight. David is over there getting harassed. David's
getting harassed by the ladies. I just be a fly on the wall over there. See what they're
asking him right now. Yeah, it's going to be fun.
Yeah, he's he's silly. He'll be fine. OK. All right, you guys. So what's up? Talk to
me. Some of you guys remember when I was your main coach, it wasn't David. Mike, you've
been here that long. I was going to say, like, you know, I miss those days, Jackie. You'd
be proud of me. I've been doing really well. But, oh, you know, you're you're always like,
hey, Mike, why do you always go after unavailable, unavailable women? And I'm like, well, I don't
know. That's a great question. But even like but I just haven't had a whole lot of opportunities,
but they just haven't fall. It hasn't really worked out. I've had a couple that were available.
One Trump killed it. Like she brought up like I knew I just knew it was going to end it,
but I brought it up anyways. I was like, you know, I voted for him and she's like, well,
that's it's over for me. So that was an interesting thing. But I just wanted to say, like, I really
appreciate you and everything that you do. And I know you get a lot. There's a lot you
do a lot. And I just I've always, you know, I'll never forget meeting you at School of
the Prophets. And I'm like, you're like, I'm a matchmaker. I'm like, is that a thing? You
know? So but yeah, no, I really appreciate you guys.
And you guys, I just want to say, because Michael brought it up just now. Thanks, Mike.
I appreciate that. And, you know, geography might be working against you right now as
far as matching you guys. Geography is a real thing, especially for conservatives, especially
for Christians. There are not that there isn't. You only need one woman, right? You only need
one. But there are parts of the country and countries, Kenton, that are more liberal.
And there's a lot, a lot more people who just wouldn't be on the same pages, a lot of you
as far as for long term commitment because of convictions, because of non-negotiables
that have to do with belief systems. And so that's a real thing. But Michael just said
something about matchmaking. You guys, we are because of all the advancements in technology
and all the advancements with A.I. and we have been able to take a dream that we've
had of having our own app. We have Spiritmate Match and we did have that built for us. And
it's pretty clunky. I don't love it. But we are now working on something that is going
to be kind of my community based matchmaking dream where people will be able to, you know,
rematch, play matchmaker themselves. And we are currently working on that and hoping
to have it available in beta just here in the next couple of weeks. So that's how fast
things move now with technology. And so that's exciting. All right. So yes, matchmaking is
the thing. But here's the thing, guys, it doesn't really help. And my new book is coming
out next week. I don't know if any of you bought it in presale, but I talk in the book
about how to be your own matchmaker. That's really what the book is about. And it doesn't
really matter if you have proximity to lots and lots of women, if you don't know what
you're looking for and you haven't fully done your heart work. And the reason why I say
full done your heart work is because you're going to find a lot of reasons to no, no,
because men are the ones that have to be sure. Men are the ones that have to be sure, you
know, you are the ones that have to know that.
This is your wife.
Not that pursuit is all on you.
I believe women should also show desire
and show partnership early on in the relationship.
And if they don't, you're probably getting with a woman
who wants you to do all the heavy lifting in life
and she's just gonna kind of be along for the ride
and you don't want that.
But you're the ones that have to really be sure.
Women can come around and decide later.
They can be more, it's a yes until it's a no,
but you guys are more, it's a no from the beginning.
And so we've gotta dig into why
you know that you have to choose someone eventually
that is not perfect and maybe not everything
that you ever dreamed of,
but that you really, really like and enjoy
and are attracted to and wanna just build together.
You know that, right?
You guys are all aware of that.
Yes. Okay.
Good, good.
Because I feel like some of you deal with a lot of avoidant,
a lot of avoidant attachment and...
Or do avoidant people or avoidant attachment?
You deal with, Mike, you specifically might deal
with a little bit of anxious attachment.
Oh no, absolutely.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I mean, just insecure attachment.
Yeah, yeah.
And so, we talk about that quite often,
actually on Mondays.
Well, because I'm just trying to bring up
what like putting boundaries on an avoidant.
So they actually come back for connection, right?
And like, hey, you can have your space,
but I need my connection as well.
And stuff like that.
Yeah, well, you have to stop being attracted
to avoidant women because here's the thing,
there's not really a lot of them.
So the fact that you keep finding them is weird.
It's almost like a needle in a haystack.
Well, from what I remember,
it's about 60% of the dating population.
Is that not true?
It's not female though.
Women are usually anxious attachers
or disordered attachers, but avoidance,
there are women that are avoidance
and you somehow find them, but...
What's the difference?
There's not a lot of them.
They're not the majority.
I think truly avoidant attaching women
are like less than 5%.
I'm really good at it.
You are good at it.
He said a little homing signal.
What is the definition of avoidance in this case?
Avoidant attacher is, okay, here's the thing.
There's secure attachment,
then there's insecure attachment.
And anxious and anxious avoidant and dismissive avoidant
and disordered attachers are all insecure attachment styles.
And avoidance, just plain avoidance,
avoidance usually are either anxious avoidance
or they're dismissive avoidance.
But they're people who have a really deep fear
of being controlled, of being trapped, of choosing wrong.
I think that they have a unconscious fear of abandonment,
but I think that's more unconscious.
The conscious fear that they have is being trapped
or being controlled mostly.
And they are mostly men.
The majority of a true avoidant attachers are mostly male.
And what will happen,
especially if they're an anxious avoidant,
they'll be really cool at first.
They'll really, really be attracted.
And a lot of times they run in real fast,
but then they'll pull back just as fast,
kind of out of nowhere.
Out of nowhere, they'll pull back.
They found some sort of deal breaker.
They're not attracted to you.
One of the famous lines of avoidant men is,
I just really don't feel that way about you.
Well, you did two weeks ago, but now you don't.
So they'll start finding problems with the woman.
They'll start nitpicking at the things that,
oh, I don't like the way that she said that,
or that offended me,
or I just don't think that I'm as attracted to her
as I thought I was, or they get the ick.
And women that are avoidant attachers,
they really get the ick and Mike knows that.
So they, a lot of times are really on board as well.
And then all of a sudden you do something
and most times it's not even something big.
That's a really interesting thing
about breaking up with an avoidant
or an avoidant breaking up with you.
Usually they'll let you break up with them.
They'll just withdraw so much
that you eventually just have to call it.
But it's not ever something big usually.
Nine times out of 10, it's just something really small.
Yeah, and they really don't like bringing the hammer down.
You know, and they did like the detachment.
That's, yeah.
So I didn't know it was mainly men.
That's interesting.
Cause I am working with a couple of.
avoiding men, so, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, it is mainly men.
But women can have a lot,
mostly, most disordered attachers are women.
There are some men that are disordered,
but most disordered attachment is women,
and that is a combination of anxious and avoided.
I'm not sure where I fit in,
because I'm just not around very many women.
I'm in Alaska, and there's like a population of 3,600,
and most of the women I'm around are my sisters,
and at church, there's probably like maybe 20 women there,
and 18 of them are married,
and the rest of them are too young or too old.
Oh, wow, well, we do have,
where's, Mike, where's that quiz at?
I think that it's on, I think it's on JackieDorman.com.
If you go to my website,
there's a quiz to find out your attachment style.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Right now, where I'm at on my heart work
is I'm on the fifth session on the very last video.
I'm halfway through it, the divorce video.
Oh, yeah, are you divorced, Kevin?
Yes, but I've been divorced for like 21 years.
Oh, okay.
So, all my kids are over 19 now.
Oh, wow, so you're almost done with the heart work.
That's great.
Yeah.
Well, hopefully, you've had some breakthrough.
Yeah, I kinda had breakthrough
over the last three or four years, too.
There's a lot of stuff that I dealt with
that I went through a bunch with Pedro.
So, I started with Kingdom Seekers
like three or four years ago.
Okay.
So, that really helped me out
some heart work sessions there and whatnot, too.
So, you came here from Kingdom Seekers?
Yes, that's where I actually met you
or found out who you were was through Kingdom Seekers.
Awesome, well, welcome, glad you're here.
Alaska, okay, yeah, I mean, do you have to stay there?
No, I don't.
Right now, I'm in kind of a transition period.
I mean, all my six of my seven grandkids are here
and they're around me and I get to see them all the time
and two of my kids out of my five.
Okay.
But I got laid off last November.
Our company sold out and so, I haven't worked since November.
Wow.
Now, I'm starting to job hunt,
but all the jobs that I can get right now
are like 60 to 70 hours a week at least.
I drive truck is what I do.
Okay.
But for the last 21 years, it's all been locally.
I go home every night.
But now, as far as local jobs go,
the ones that are available are either paying too little
because I'm union or there's stuff that I don't wanna do,
like haul fuel and be around it
because I'm really susceptible to petroleum products
because I've been overexposed to them.
So, I am looking elsewhere.
I got family in California, which I will never move to,
but I do have family in Wyoming also.
Okay.
But still, I mean, if I go truck driving,
it'll be probably over the road if I end up there.
I mean, there's a job up here I really want,
but like I said, it's like 70 hours a week.
They say four to six days,
but all their drivers say they run you to death.
So, that don't leave much for family time
or anything else.
So, I'm just-
Well, it sounds like you're in a lot of transition
and that's a good place to be
because guys, if any of you are in transition as well,
Kevin's talking about how he had something
that he had a status quo in life.
He was living his life,
maybe not the best life that he ever dreamed of living,
but he had a steady job.
He got to see several of his grandchildren,
two of his kids live around him.
And then all of a sudden things started shifting.
The job that he had dried up, they sold the company.
Now he's been unemployed since November.
It doesn't seem there'd be any good options
for jobs around him now.
When that happens, to me,
that is grace being removed from a situation.
There was grace, so just kind of like a status quo.
Like I said, you're just in a comfort zone,
maybe not the best thing you ever dreamed of,
but a comfort zone.
And now that comfort zone is shifting.
You guys have heard of the birds
that start removing all of the comfortable things
in the nest so that the baby birds will get the heck out.
And it sounds like that's happening for you, Kevin.
And I've been in that situation many times.
And I just want to say that it always
leads us to something better.
Yeah, I've just been praying for direction from God,
you know, that the right doors will
open to put me in the right place where he wants me to be.
That's what I want, so.
Absolutely.
That's awesome.
All right, well, you're in a good place.
You're in a place of change.
That's exciting.
You guys, change is, you know, it's a little scary.
But it's also really exciting.
Because most of us, if we were being really honest,
we're not, our life didn't turn out the way
that we expected it to.
And we're not living our dreams.
And so when change, the winds of change start blowing,
that means that something better is,
we're being invited into something better.
Yeah, I have about two more weeks.
Two more weeks, and then I feel like I'm
going to have to settle for something
that I don't really want.
Well, don't.
You don't have to do anything.
Well, I'm talking financially.
I mean, I've got to pay my bills.
That's what I'm worried about, is
I've been off work for a long period of time.
And it's getting to that point where I need to start working,
or I'm going to go way underwater.
Well, make sure that you're, listen
to the Supernatural Saturday from this week
about God connecting the dots.
I feel like that is a really on-time message
for where you are right now.
I can go back and re-listen to it.
I was on Super Saturday and yesterday's call.
Yeah, and there's a synopsis of it posted in the group.
Guys, I noticed that you guys don't ever post in your groups.
You don't post in your groups.
You don't ask a coach.
Do you have a tab called Ask a Coach there on the app?
So if they're on the app that we have, like I downloaded
the app, if it's available for me to see,
that's for the guys group?
That's what that is, is the guys group?
It is, yes.
OK, I was kind of confused about that.
I thought it was like an everybody group.
No, it's just the guys.
You can post anything you want in there.
It's just the guys.
It's just you guys and your coaches.
So all right, so Kevin's in transition.
Anyone else in transition?
I see a couple new guys jumped on here.
You guys, I'm your coach tonight.
David's over with the ladies.
And so I used to, back in the day,
the OGs that are all married now, I used to coach them.
Except Mike is not married, and he's going to be, though.
I think, Mike, you might be one of the only OGs left.
You guys, Daniel Delgado just got married.
That's amazing.
For those of you that knew Daniel, he just got married.
There's a couple guys that just got married,
and I'm not sure if anyone here would actually
even remember them.
They were even before Mike's time.
So yeah, here's the thing.
We don't have 100% success rate with our ladies.
We have a lot of ladies, and a lot
of ladies that just don't want to change,
and they don't want to do the work.
But we have nearly 100% success rate with our guys.
There's not as many of you, and if you're
willing to do the work, you will be successful.
All right, who wants to talk?
Go ahead, Rodney.
Yeah, I wanted to introduce myself.
I'm really new to the group.
Yeah, hi.
Nice to meet you.
I'm in the middle of my second week doing the hard work.
Awesome.
And so I found you through Kingdom Seekers also.
Just started this year, so really new to the group.
So really new to Pedro.
Just really glad I found that community.
It's just been a huge blessing.
Awesome.
So my question is, obviously, this is really new to me.
I'm just starting the hard work.
But I'm 56 years old.
I've never been married.
Obviously, desire to get married, possibly have kids.
But I guess my question is, I'm attracted to women
that are quite a bit younger than I am.
And so is there like a, I don't know, like a maximum age gap
that is just like, yeah, no more than 10 years,
or no more than 15 years, or?
How old are you, Rodney?
I'm 56.
OK, so and what is it do you think
that you're attracted to about much younger women?
When you say much younger, what are you saying,
like 20 years younger, like women that are like 30s
in their late 30s?
Well, I go to a pretty big church.
And there's a lot of good looking women.
in there, but they're mostly younger, like 20s and 20s and
30s. Right. And it seems like the older ones are, you know,
either married or most of them, most of them are married, have
families and you know, stuff like that. Yeah, so
so okay, so when it comes to as far as when it comes to these
lights off guys, because they're getting on my nerves. When it
comes to an age gap, it isn't about the age gap, it's more
about a season gap. Okay, so I always coach that we should
match seasons and not age. That being said, you know, I mean,
you can find anything, you know, you can find someone who's
willing to do anything, but the majority of women that are in
their 20s aren't going to want to marry a man who's, you know,
on the other half of 50s headed to 60. Unless he's really rich.
You know, I mean, because those women that would want to do
that, for the most part are hypergamous. And the word
hypergamous means that, you know, it's just kind of a nice
way of saying they're gold diggers. And it just means they
want to marry up. And hypergamous can also be
foreigners. You know, people who are not educated people who want
a higher social status, they want a higher economic status,
they want a green card. There's lots of different reasons why
women would be more transactional with marriage. And
there are a lot of women that are transactional, I just want
to warn you guys. So when you get with women that are a lot
younger, you got to really question their motives a lot
harder if you attract one of them. Because in my experience,
you know, they're just trying to get ahead in life, and then
they're going to be gone. And so you don't want that. Right,
right, right. You don't want that. Now, there's a lot of good
looking women closer to your age range that you're like, I guess
I'm trying to figure out what is what is attractive? Besides
physically, but there's a lot of there's a lot of women that are
in their 20s and 30s that are not good looking. So what is
attractive about a much younger woman to you? Is it the
vivaciousness? Is it the you know, young at heart? You know,
kind of thing? Do you do you feel like women your own age?
Are they're not? They're not? They've let themselves go? They
don't look good? Like what is what's the thing?
Yeah, I think I think it's the young at heart. I think it's the
passion. It's just the kind of the wonder, right? You know,
they're still trying to figure out the world. And so there's
also that innocence, right? So I know that, you know, I know
that wears off over time. You know, but
definitely. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I mean, I'd say pretty
good rule of thumb, guys. Once again, match seasons, there's
always exceptions to rules. When I say match seasons, you're
gonna match seasons with people who, you know, that they have
the same goals that you have in this season of life. If you're
raising children that they're willing to raise children, or
they want children to or you know, whatever that the case
may be. But besides that, the rule of thumb would probably be
to find someone who's not transactional and doesn't have
an ulterior motive, I'd say stay within a 10 year age difference.
Okay, that's what another friend told me, like, 10 years is like
a good, good number. Yeah, I mean, it's a trusted number.
It's a trusted once again, there's always exceptions to the
rule. But you know, women in their late 40s would be more
than willing to marry, you know, a man who's in his, his, you
know, later 50s. Now, those women aren't going to have
children, but with you, but they may already have children. So I
mean, it is possible that they could have children still at
that age, but not usually. Right, right. Not usually. But
you know, if you open your heart, and you guys, if you're
like, if you're like Rodney, and you have a really specific type,
and, you know, he said he's 56. And he's never been married
before. So he obviously is leaning more towards avoidant
attaching, meaning that, you know, he has a lot of things
that have kept him from going forward. A lot of times we think
we just haven't met the right person. But we dig deeper into
that we find out that a lot of times we're protecting ourselves
from being hurt from marrying the wrong person. Even Rodney,
I'll tell you as a coach, even your attraction to much younger
women, a lot of people would maybe say that's creepy. And
that's why you know, you're a pervert, you know, you're dirty
old man or whatever. But I really don't think that's true.
First of all, I don't think that's true of you. But I will
say, on my experience, when older men are attracted to
younger women,
It's usually because they feel like older women
are more manipulative.
They've had bad experiences with women.
They have mother wounds or sister wounds.
They feel like women their age are too demanding.
Like they don't have anything that they bring to the table
for women who are expecting more from them.
And so there might be some underlying reasons
why there's an attraction there that you can dig into
and get past the fear of that.
And maybe attract someone
that's gonna be right for you in this season.
I know on the surface, you guys,
we always look at things and people judge things
and they think that they know what's happening.
But a lot of times, really underneath anything
that seems kind of different,
like being attracted to someone 25, 30 years younger than you
is fear.
And so you wanna dig into that and see.
And so if any of you,
I think that we always have this idea
that younger people are a lot more pliable.
They're a lot more submissive.
They're not as volatile or combative as maybe our peers
or people that are closer to our age.
They're not as jaded.
But friends, that's just not true.
I think part of it with the younger women too.
Yeah.
I find myself kind of in the same situation as him,
but that's just because the younger females
are more open, they're more friendly.
They'll come up and talk to you.
Whereas it seems like the ladies
that are in their 40s and 50s
are a lot more standoffish
than the women that are in their 30s.
I've had lots of women approach me that are in their 30s.
I'm out on the beach boogie boarding or something.
I've almost never had,
I think one time I can think of one woman
that approached me that she was probably in her mid 40s.
But other than that, I've never, it's never happened.
So I think that's part of it with the younger women too
is they're more open to conversation
and to get to know you.
Even if they're not interested in you,
they might not tell you that right away,
but they're interested in the stories and your adventures
because you have more experience than they do.
Yeah.
Hey, we lost Jackie for a minute.
I'm sure she'll be back.
But no, that's very true.
Like, but you know, being approachable,
like that's one of the things that Jackie coaches women
about being approachable.
And I say that, sorry, I'm just gonna jump in real quick
because Jackie's on her way back.
But-
You just don't wanna listen to me anymore.
Yeah, no, but like, would you guys agree with this?
So I find for me, I see both dudes, oh, there she is.
Both dudes and ladies, right?
In their 40s, it seems to be
where everybody falls off a cliff, right?
And so, and I actually grew my goatee back
because I was getting hit on by 20 year olds.
And I was like, no, I can introduce you to my son.
But like, but would you, like, but like Jackie was,
sorry, hey, welcome back, Jackie.
Like, why are you doing what you're doing?
And, you know, I honestly have an aversion
because my ex got cancer and really sick.
And so, well, plus I also run,
I mean, I've got like, what, 14% body fat
and like, I keep really good.
Most of the ladies that I know in my area aren't,
I can't go dancing.
We can't go doing the things that we wanna do, right?
And like, so I wanna partner in somebody
to go have fun with, not like,
so I don't know about you guys.
Like, I-
Not like sit at home with all the time.
Well, you guys, just so you guys know,
I'm not, I'm not flowing with y'all
cause I'm 51 and a half years old
and I'm fricking hot, okay?
Yeah, you are.
I look good, I take care of myself.
So you guys are, you know, you guys are,
you guys need to open your mind and heart.
What I was gonna say to Rodney is,
is that when we surrender the pen to God
and we say, hey God, you know,
I know what I'm afraid of getting myself involved with.
Like, you know, no one wants to live
with a nagging, mad, jaded, you know, bitter woman.
Nobody wants that, okay?
I don't want that.
I'm a woman and I don't want that, okay?
So, but I will say this to you guys,
that there are a lot of women, you know,
that are not like that.
They're kind, they've done their heart work,
they look good, they've taken good care of themselves.
themselves and they're your peers and they're your equals in so many ways, mentally, emotionally,
spiritually, maturity-wise. We don't have to gravitate towards younger people just because
they're easier to control. We don't have to gravitate towards younger people just because
we think that they're going to be nicer, sweeter, more friendly. But I want to tell you guys this,
if you say to God, hey, I'm not going to be afraid, I'm not going to operate in fear,
I'm going to surrender the pen to you. I know that you know what I need more than I know what I need.
So I'm asking you to help my attraction and my desire be towards what's going to be healthy
and good for me. Right. Well, one of my questions to myself was, if I was around more women that
were more my age, would I still feel the same attraction towards younger women? Because what
I was saying earlier when you disappeared is a lot of the times the younger women are coming up
and starting the conversations. Yeah, but Kevin, just because they're starting a conversation
doesn't mean that they want to date you. They could just be nice to you. I realize that. I'm
not saying I'm chasing them. I'm just saying, I just might say that he was talking about attraction
to younger women. They're a lot more, in my experience, they're a lot more open and a lot more
outgoing than women that are in their later forties, as far as breaking the ice and starting
a conversation with somebody that they'd never met. It is true. You guys have to remember that
different generations learned different things. Yes. Gen X though, Gen X, which are the women
who would be in their mid forties all the way to mid sixties. I think that most of us
here are Gen X. Most of us are either Gen X or baby boomers. Gen X is the generation that still
remembers meeting up in person. Gen X is the generation that remembers when all of our romantic
endeavors were just people that we met out in the wild. But you could be dealing with women,
especially at churches. Now, if you guys are talking about women that are friendlier at
churches or the younger ones, well, older women, they could be a lot more reserved. Women that are
fifties and up, they could be a lot more reserved inside of those spaces. Those spaces, those
those Christian religious kind of spaces. And the other thing is, is that I don't think that
women from that generation, 45 years old and up, I think that they want men to make the first move.
They really want men to make the first move. I think younger women can kind of take it either
way. But women that are 45 years and up, Gen X and older millennials, they really have been
raised to believe that men are supposed to make the first move. If he's interested in you,
then he's going to come up and talk to you. OK, and so if you guys are waiting for women
to make the first move, if you're waiting for them to talk to you, to be friendly to you,
to come over to you, if you want to talk to someone, go talk to them,
because that generation is waiting for you to come to them. Chris, what do you got?
Yeah, thank you, Jackie. It's good to virtually meet you. Yeah, you too. Where are you at?
I live in Charlotte. I lived in Florida for 50 years. The Lord told me to move to Charlotte,
and I did. Much like Ava. Awesome. I knew virtually nobody here. You don't? Well, I do now. I mean,
I've been here about eight months now. OK, well, I have quite a few contacts in Charlotte.
Yeah, well, actually, I found you through two women out of Raleigh.
Oh, awesome. Yeah. I love to hear that. Yeah. That's how I got connected in here.
But I'm just finishing the heart work book. I've completed the heart work book.
Awesome. That's great. And have you ever been married? Are you divorced or widowed?
Have you ever been married? Are you divorced or widowed?
So I've been married twice. My first marriage lasted 12 years. The mother of my two daughters,
and that ended probably 19 years ago. Maybe 20 years ago now, I would say.
We have a great relationship now, you know, for the blessing of our family.
You know, I buy her Christmas presents, and I get texts from her like,
hey, remember that Jimmy Buffett concert, blah, blah, blah.
So we really have a good, strong relationship now.
My second marriage was very short and I was single for about three, three and a half years
between the two marriages.
My second marriage only lasted about a year.
She ended up, she was still in love with her first husband and I got drug through the mud
and I got handed Proverbs 4.23, which is guard your heart for it's the wellspring of life.
Did she get back together with her first husband?
Yes.
Well, she tried, but that didn't work out.
She married another guy and then got divorced from him and she's a hot mess.
But anyway.
It sounds like you were dealing with a disordered attachment style, someone who wants to get
married and they're excited about it, but then they get very avoidant and they start
to dream about the perfect person or the one that got away or the one that they still are
fantasizing about that.
It's not reality.
It wasn't a good relationship.
That really wasn't it.
She's a very manipulative NT personality type and that fits right.
She had the ability to manipulate people in situations to her liking.
That definitely fits disorders.
A lot of them have borderline personality disorder.
Let me ask you a question.
Do you feel like, how long ago did your divorce happen from this second wife?
We were married for about a year.
It ended about 17 years ago.
Okay.
So it's still a long time ago.
All right.
Yeah.
Okay.
How much of what you went through in that relationship has affected you being able to
trust a woman or to get into another marriage?
Well, I basically dealt with infidelity in both my marriages in one way, shape or form,
but God set me on the sidelines for a really long time.
My last relationship ended about seven years ago and it was only about two years ago that
I felt the nudge to try again.
For the longest time, all I ever got was Psalms 46.10, which is be still and know I am God.
I'm like, okay.
So I've been dating for a couple of years now and this time around, it's actually been
a really good experience for me.
Awesome.
Yeah.
So I feel like one of the things that I've seen is through most of the women that I've
actually met, I have learned something about myself.
So I feel like the Lord has kind of had me in final preparations for whatever he has
in store.
That's great.
And I'll give you a specific example.
I have Circle 3 and Circle 12, basically.
In my Circle 3, one of the guys is a retired counselor and so he walks it out with me.
And so about eight months ago, I was telling him what was going on with this one woman
and he goes, you know, Chris, you just don't really understand women very well.
I was like, oh gee, thanks a lot.
You know, he said, you got to read this book, men are from Mars and women are from Venus.
So I was like, okay, well just to entertain him, I read the book and sure enough.
You know, the guy that wrote that book was married seven times.
Oh, was he?
So hopefully, you know, Dr. John Gray, hopefully he knows women by now, but go ahead.
Yeah.
So anyway, I mean, he was right.
I mean, there were things I just didn't realize about women that I needed to know.
We're definitely different.
We're definitely different than y'all, but we're better together.
Okay.
So, so would you say, since you're new to me, I'm going to ask you on a scale of one
to 10, 10 being very marriage-minded and one being, you know, not, where would you say
you are?
I'm a 10.
I mean, I'm all over it and I clarify that right up front, you know, my intention, you
know, is to find a wife and.
Okay.
Well, listen, all of you guys that have finished your heart work or you're close to being done,
you know, let's get, make, let's get you guys spotlighted.
You know, I was telling some of you came in late, but I was just saying that we just had
a couple guys from our program get married here in the last couple of months.
And we have almost a hundred percent success rate with our guys as far as our guys, you
know, finding the love of their life and getting married.
So I just want to put that out there.
We don't have a hundred percent success rate with our ladies because we have a lot of
ladies that come through and, you know, they're either think there's nothing wrong with them.
They're not willing to do the work or they just, you know, there's.
They're scared of their own shadow.
They really don't trust men,
and they never really get over that.
So they don't all get married, but all of our guys do.
I'm just trying to think if we've even ever had a guy
that has not gotten married,
and I really can't think of any.
So let's get moving forward on you guys, all right?
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, awesome.
Mike, you have your hand up,
but there was someone else that had their hand up,
and maybe they got bored and left.
Matthew, are you still there?
Shoot, I think Matthew had to go.
Is he working?
Yeah, he's gone.
Okay, no, wait.
No, yeah, he's gone.
All right, go ahead.
I know a lot of times he joins from work,
so I guess he's already gone.
Yeah. What do you got?
Mike, you got a question?
So when you said something a little while back,
like mid-40, like you were talking about 56,
41-year-old, they don't wanna have kids.
So- It's not that they don't wanna
have kids, a lot of them just biologically can't
by their late 40s.
Okay, so that was when I was at,
because I mean, I've been passing on anybody
who wanted to have kids,
because I can't have kids, right?
But, and I am still around,
because I haven't been dating.
I only recently started dating again,
and I can deal with anxious,
I've had a couple anxious attachers,
which is easier to deal with,
because they actually engage,
but I just was, like I've been on the apps.
So I have this weird, I don't know if it's a weird thing,
but I haven't been dating long distance,
which is one of the problems,
which is probably why I'm still around,
and not many people can relocate.
But like, you know, you're talking about predispositions.
For some reason, I just have this heart
for anytime there's a Ukrainian person around,
I have this, I don't know, feeling like,
because I really do wanna go to Ukraine,
I feel like God's called me there in some ways.
Can you just speak to that?
Like when you have this,
I don't even know how to describe it,
but it's trying to get around that,
and I haven't gone to just-
We have a really beautiful woman from Ukraine
that just joined the program.
Oh yeah?
Where's she located?
That's a good question.
Not Ukraine.
She lives here.
I don't remember off the top of my head,
but I do know that she has a passion for her country
and does hope to go back
in a missionary-type way someday.
Yeah, that was kind of,
my heart was to go love on the kiddos there.
So anyways, no, I just,
but like, so is that something I,
well, because I have been kind of putting that aside,
because I didn't want to be,
I didn't wanna limit,
you know, like lists are things that limit you, right?
So I just, you know, it's just a thought.
You guys, there's a difference
between non-negotiables, deal breakers,
and preferences, or like a wishlist.
And you guys need to know the difference.
You know, my new book that is coming out,
Modern Dating Sucks,
it really talks about how to become your own matchmaker,
and it talks about non-negotiables versus preferences.
And your non-negotiable list
shouldn't have more than 10 items on it.
Let me just walk you through this for a second.
So a non-negotiable is,
if they had everything else that you like,
but they didn't have this one thing,
or they had this one thing, okay?
Whatever your non-negotiable is.
Maybe your non-negotiable is,
you know, you can't relocate.
So they can't relocate.
So they have it, or they don't have it,
depending on what your non-negotiable is.
You would walk away from the relationship.
Even if they were great,
even she's a 10,
but she doesn't have this non-negotiable thing.
That's how you know it's a non-negotiable.
That's how you know it's a deal breaker.
They can have everything else,
but if they do have that or don't have that,
depending on what the non-negotiable is,
you would still have to say,
hey, it's been great,
but I really don't think that we're on the same page.
I don't think that, you know, we can go forward together.
So that can be, you know, but it won't be a long list.
It'll be a list that's less than 10 things,
probably more likely more about five or six things.
Now, if you have a non-negotiable list
that has over 10 items on it, even 12, 15 items,
you probably are now listing preferences as non-negotiables.
Does that make sense to everybody?
Preferences can be things like,
I don't want someone with children.
You're like, but Jackie, that's non-negotiable.
No, it's not.
It's a preference.
Non-negotiables have to be from heaven, y'all.
And they have to be legitimate deal breakers.
I understand you don't wanna deal with someone's,
you know, baby daddy,
but you know, you're stronger than you think you are.
Now, can God give you someone that has your fantasy list,
your preferences?
as well, sure.
But there needs to be a real good reason for it.
And a lot of people block themselves
with these preferences that they turn into non-negotiables.
You guys tracking with me?
Okay, all right.
Who else has some questions?
I see Hunter just emerged from a cocoon.
I am late, I just got back from the lift.
I know, but you seem like you just like came out
of like a coma or something with the way you're acting.
Are you all right?
Yeah, it's just, I need to get my haircut
before I gotta get this removed.
What is it?
Oh, I was from cauliflower ear.
I got cauliflower ear from doing jujitsu.
Oh.
And I went to the hospital,
got drained, but the blood keeps coming in.
And the doctor, the specialist came in
and said, got these two things,
latched them together and stitched it all to my ear.
And we're gonna try and make sure it heals
and then it won't puff up.
Okay, well, that's good.
We don't want you to have a cauliflower for an ear.
So I'm glad you're getting that taken care of.
Well, it's gonna be scarred,
but at least it won't be all poofy and big.
Hey, listen, if you're gonna have a scar,
your ear's the great place to have it.
Yes.
And I talked to a woman at a church
that I traveled with.
She's those same women I went to Greece and Malta with.
Yeah.
And I'm trying to balance in psychological.
Rather than overthink it,
just try to look the best mature way.
I'm kind of caught in the middle.
I don't wanna go out there
and see it as an island in a desperate tone.
That'll be there.
But at the same time,
they'll find out I'm attractive and turned off.
But at the same time,
I don't wanna sit at the wall and give up
because I wanna figure it out.
Just like in jiu-jitsu, you don't give up.
That's right, Hunter.
You're doing great.
And I think you're gonna have a love story pretty soon here.
I feel like my days are numbered.
That's why I haven't been on the apps.
Your days are not numbered.
My days...
Oh, your days of being single are numbered.
I thought you meant like before you leave the earth.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Well, my days of being single could be numbered.
But at the same time,
what I can do is basically I don't wanna approach them.
Fortunately, I was saying on the same aisle as this girl,
but she offered, I was like, okay.
But I don't wanna think about...
But when she offered and we hugged at the end,
I don't think it really was her developing any chemistry.
It's just her personality,
kind of personality I saw where it is.
Is this the lady that's a lot older than you?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It's the ones that I went to Greece with.
It was the ones that are around my age.
Okay, all right, well.
It's just, I'm trying to avoid...
I wanna create a boundary
where I don't wanna create unacquainted love,
which will be hurtful.
But at the same time, I'm not the kind to give up.
I'm willing to socialize
rather than stay behind and be antisocial.
So I'm trying to draw a balance.
I know, I'm proud of you.
That's great.
I'm gonna be in Jersey.
You, Jesse, guys,
I'm gonna be at King of Kings Church again for a conference
based on my new book, Modern Dating Sucks.
There's gonna be a big singles event there as well
as the conference, second weekend of June.
Oh, good.
Mark your calendar, come on over.
All right, so Hunter, it's good to see you.
Abram, I haven't seen you in a long time
except on Instagram.
It's good to see you.
All right, guys, so what do you think?
I really wanna help you guys get moving forward.
So does anyone want to hot seat for a couple minutes
about where you think you might be stuck?
Because listen, the odds are in your favor.
There's a bazillion single women
and they all wanna be married.
So there really isn't any reason
for any marriage-minded man to not have a lot of options.
And so what do you guys think is keeping you back?
I think one thing is keeping me back
is I'm spending a lot of times in doing guy things
and not so much finding common ground
with what women and men do, except for Amazon.
Okay, well, we need to change that, Hunter,
because like you said, your days are numbered
as a single man.
And I think that you've grown a lot.
I think you're ready.
I really think you're ready
to build a relationship with someone.
So we need to spotlight you.
We need to figure out what we need to do
in order to possibly have some candidates
come in to date you.
Kenton, what do you got?
Well, what I got here is that just for the guys,
just to keep me accountable,
one of the things that we were doing
and talking about, the young lady that I am dating
did commit finally.
And so that we're moving forward,
we will be taking the pre-marriage course
that you guys are putting on here shortly,
just to make sure we've got our-
Yeah, when you say young lady,
I appreciate that that's like a term of endearment,
but she's not that much younger than you.
She's only 21.
No, not serious.
She's 61.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Okay, I just making sure that I know who you're talking about. Okay. Yes, you do. Yeah, he's one of our members. Yes
Okay, so yeah
So in doing so the thing is right now that she's sort of stuck on
And she is stuck is that we had to create a letter for her explaining to her children
That she wants to move forward in life and she wants them to be happy for her because they weren't totally for me
But she's come to the place that she realizes now that you don't like and why why are they not for you?
well, one of them is a
Toxic person that actually lives with her with a granddaughter and daughter and granddaughter
Which is unfortunate?
and so
She just she gets great rent. So why should she want to have to move out now and and not to pay regular rent?
so she's really a
She didn't like me at the very beginning because I would take her mother away in so many words and she's well in her 30s
Mm-hmm
But we need to listen we need to watch this really carefully because you guys know that I've been to a lot of rodeos
I've had a front-row seat to a lot of marriages now and the ones that have these types of dynamics and I knew that she
Had some family dynamics
but the ones that have these types of dynamics the the roads not smooth and
And a lot of times, you know, I I'm not I'm not speaking
This is any kind of word curse
But a lot of times these these marriages if they make it to the altar actually end up divorced
So we've really really got to do preliminary work to make sure this can go forward and she's not going to start feeling guilty
And be manipulated and go backwards after you guys are married
Right. Yeah, that's why we're taking your guys's course there
The one about preventing divorces so we can we can hash that out with one of the counselors
Yes, you'll need to and she'll need to be really sure and once again
She's gonna have to put in really strong boundaries if you have manipulative family if you're taking care of family
Yeah, it's it's really it's a lot especially if they're your kids. It's not so bad if they're your siblings or your parents
But if they're your kids, it has a tendency. I've seen too many marriages and
over adult children
That's understandable, I think they can be difficult and yeah, it's a great lady
She's she as I said before I just gotta be careful because she is one of our members and I want to always speak
Well, it's just the point is that you took us you told us to go outside our perimeters
So what we like and I did found a lady that's outside of my perimeters
She's got a great heart and that's what really is attracted to me
She's got a very loving caring heart and which is something
I never had during our first marriage of 36 years was because it was an emotionless marriage
So it was nice to actually meet somebody who actually cares about somebody else. Yes. She's attractive
Very attractive. Yeah, she's she would it be classified as a trophy wife
She's definitely attractive so yeah
Awesome. All right. Well Kenton that's exciting. Are you guys gonna be in this next syllabus that's coming now?
Well, that's I just put in a request to find out when the next one was so that we can get registered for it
I haven't heard anything. I think it starts in like a week or so
Sorry, I think it starts in like a week. Yeah, it starts really soon. So hurry up with that for sure. That's good
That's good
I'm just gonna be up I'll have to take some of the courses what we're separated because I'm up north and I may miss
One of them out of all of them. How long is the course for by the way six weeks six weeks?
Yeah, I'll probably just miss out one because I work night shift that one time
Okay
All right, that sounds good. Well, that's positive. That's moving in the right direction and
And Abram, I mean, you know, oh I want to say this to all of you guys how many guys are Catholic
How many Catholic guys we got raise your hands? I know Abrams Catholic. Okay
I'm going to be on the Catholic singles network
So, I think it's gonna bring in a lot of a lot of Catholic singles to our community and into what we do
So that's gonna be great Catholics are really having their moment right now
And you know as far as in media and all the famous
Christians that are Catholics and all the things that are happening
So I think that that's awesome to bring, you know
More people in for those of you that really want to marry someone who practices
Catholicism with you that's we're gonna have a lot more people in that area. I
Yes, so
I'm open to any denomination, too
Well hunter. Thank you. I appreciate that and also can I ask you I forgot to put down I had a win
What's the win I went the entire month of March without looking at any pornography or any image whatsoever
wait
We're at the end of April though.
Yeah.
And, and, uh, I also went, I go 72 out, well, it came back, but I went, but I went
72 straight and then I went an entire 10 days without any of it and 72 hours
without any self gratification or any lusts.
Okay.
So the whole month of March, that's amazing.
I'm proud of you.
That's great.
You had a little relapse, but you're back 10 days streak.
Clean, correct.
All right.
Well, that's good.
And, you know, um, for all of you that may be struggling with any kind of, you
know, uh, sexual type of sin, pornography, different things, you know, there are
lots of ways that you can hold yourself accountable, um, you know, uh, locking
down your, your social media, deleting social media.
Um, I know a guy who's not on social media at all, because let's face it.
There's just a lot of pornographic images on Facebook, on Instagram.
It's not just on porn sites anymore.
It's everywhere.
Okay.
So, uh, just getting off social media, if you feel like that is a, um, you know,
a really hard thing for you to abstain from.
And then, um, and then of course there's different, there's different
companies that can lock down your servers, your IP address, all the
different things where you can't access from your, your devices or from your
home, and not a lot of people are accessing, you know, porn just out and
about, especially if your devices are locked down, like your phone and
different things.
And so do that for yourself.
Another, another thing too, my problem wasn't saying no, that it is that
is saying no, it's wrong.
I have no problem repenting about it.
My problem is the trigger is what it was just a trigger of, and I just
identified an unsuspected one and I know what they are.
Okay.
That's awesome.
A lot of people do use porn when they're depressed, when they're sad, when they
had a bad day, just like emotional eating, just like smoking, just like any other
addiction, you guys, all of it.
It's a, you know, it is a self gratifying dopamine neuroephedrine type of situation.
I don't know if David talks about that kind of stuff with you guys enough, but,
um, you guys should talk about it.
It isn't anything to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
It is honestly, it's public enemy.
Number one, if you want my opinion, it's, it's, it's, it's a, it's beyond an
epidemic, it's a pandemic.
I mean, it's just insane.
I was just, I was on Facebook the other day and I was looking for, Oh, I was
looking for a post from one of the ladies in our group and I was scrolling down
inside of my own group, looking at all the different posts and then Facebook
started showing me all of these.
Um, I want to call them.
I used to work in television, so let me remember what the name of these are.
Oh, they're called verticals.
Have you guys seen these little like soap operas where it's like a
little soap opera type situation?
Uh, you click on a little video that's like bad acting, people acting and stuff.
So when I was scrolling down looking for one of my students posts, I started seeing
all these verticals, these little soap operas, and they were all porn.
I mean like porn, like people straight up having sex.
And I'm like, I'm on Facebook when this is happening.
And I'm just like, Whoa, this is getting really, really, really bad.
And with AI, you guys with AI, it's like, it's, it's even getting worse.
And a lot of people will probably tell themselves that it's not pornography
because it's not real people.
And then they'll feel okay about watching it because they'll be
like, Oh, it's like a cartoon.
You know, no one was harmed in the making of this.
It's not real people.
They're not being trafficked, you know?
So if you start having those kinds of thoughts about non-human AI type
depictions of pornography, just remember your brain doesn't know the difference
between it being real people or not real people, and it's still burning out those
emotional pleasure centers of your brain.
And that's going to keep you from being able to be emotionally
available in a relationship.
It'll also keep you in a shame sin cycle.
So do not fall into the AI trap.
Yes, they may not be real people, but it's real porn.
And it's not realistic.
And the figures aren't realistic at all.
Well, some of them are, because I saw some that I knew was AI and I was like,
Whoa, that's messed up.
So, um, anyway, so you guys, if you know, you have an issue with that and that
is like your addiction, uh, of choice, so to speak, then there's lots of things
you can do to get free from that.
So we're proud of you, Hunter.
Keep going.
And I'll, I'll keep you informed.
If you're going to be on here next Monday, I'll keep you informed.
And how I broke the seven, two hours to nineties right after today, it'll be 96
hours.
Well, just.
Knowing your triggers and knowing what causes you to spiral into that, that's the most important
thing, Hunter.
Abram, what do you got?
Oh, you're still muted.
Oh, can you guys hear me?
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Now we can hear you.
Yeah.
So I've been attending church for months now, but I've been going to two churches.
I've been going to a non-denominational with my buddy who is kind of like, he's kind of
like reactivated his church going ways and with his family.
And so I'll go to church with him because he's, to me, he's kind of like a, he's like,
you know, kind of a, like a baby in his faith, right?
So I don't want to, I don't want to fight with him about the theology and all the things,
you know, like I'm just happy he's going to church with his family.
It's awesome.
And so I got to go with him, but then I'll like go to church.
I'll go to Catholic mass, you know, after.
And so I'm trying to think to myself, like, how do I navigate this?
If I meet a nice, you know, Christian lady at his church, cause he's one of these friends
that he's always looking out for me and he's trying to always, you know, he thinks of me
and I'm trying to think of women.
And so there's like women at the non-denominational church.
And so I'm trying to think of future, like, you know, can I find a lady that's okay with
me going to my Catholic mass, but still doing all the other things if that's going to be
a problem or not.
And so, you know, I don't, I'm not really here to convert you.
My mom was a non-denominational spirit filled Christian married to a Catholic.
And I think that, you know, what usually happens in that situation that what you're talking
about is that if you guys were both sincere Christ followers, I think that a hybrid of
spiritual expression begins to happen where, you know, you find what works for you guys.
You know, a lot of Catholics really love the pomp and circumstance.
They love the liturgy.
They love the, you know, the rituals of the Catholic church.
Yeah.
Sacraments.
Yeah.
They know what to expect.
It's always the same, you know, kind of thing.
And non-denominational churches can be a little bit more unpredictable.
That can be bad and good sometimes, depending on what's happening.
But I think that you can find something that is, you know, something that you can share
together.
And then, you know, I do think that couples should attend the same church.
I really do.
But it doesn't mean that you can't get an extra mass here and there when you want, when
you want to go get your, get your mass fixed.
Yeah.
I'd be willing to go with her and go with our family to her church, let's just say.
There you go.
I still gotta, I gotta get my, I gotta get my stuff in.
You gotta get it in.
Yeah.
And so how do you, I mean, I'd basically explain it to them just like I explained it to you,
to everyone here.
I'd say it like that.
Yeah.
I don't know if that's a, if I could say that any better.
I think that's great.
I'm not opposed.
I think that shows that you're very spiritually open-minded and that you don't, you're not
dogmatic.
You don't think one way is the only way.
I think that's good.
I think that's a good trait.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll just be dogmatic in my own mind, you know, and I don't have to worry everyone
else about all this stuff, you know?
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
Thanks for that clarification.
I appreciate it.
Yeah.
I'm glad that you're, I'm glad you're going with your buddy.
That's cool.
And you know, if he's your wingman, then you probably are going to meet someone and I love
that.
Yeah.
Guys, that's what my new book is all about is how can we bring back the village?
How can we bring back the village?
You know, everyone's worried about where's their person?
We need to be concerned about where somebody else's person is too.
We have to work together if we want to end this loneliness epidemic.
We have to work together if we want to see God's single sons and daughters married.
We have to.
It can't just be one person like me.
I know there's more people like me that are matchmakers out there, but we can all be matchmakers.
We can.
We can all be wingmen and women.
And so bringing back the village is what this book is all about and how to think like a
matchmaker and how to be your own matchmaker and how to be a matchmaker for others, how
to decide whether or not someone is actually ready to be married or not, if you know how
to build your non-negotiable list so that you can tell people what you're really looking
for.
It's a really, it's a field guide.
I think you guys are really going to like this book.
It's very practical, but also very supernatural in the way that now don't get offended.
It doesn't say really a lot of things about God at all, but because that's not the purpose
of it.
The purpose of it is to take everything that I've learned in the last six years of helping
over 1600 people get married and put it in a book of what works and what doesn't and
what you should be doing and looking for when finding a mate.
doesn't have a bunch of scripture in it,
because it's just for everybody.
I wanted to write a book that wasn't just for Christians,
but for all single people.
And hopefully, we'll pull in some pre-believers
into the movement.
And they will meet Jesus, and that'll be cool.
Amen.
Got something, Jesse?
I was just saying amen, but it's good to see you again, Jackie.
Yes, how are you?
Are you still dating your neighbor?
No.
OK.
It's been a long time since we caught up.
Yeah, never dating.
Situationship, yes, we did have that.
But yeah, I don't know.
I'm doing well.
I feel just in a good place.
I'm taking everything slow, just in general,
with everything in life right now.
Business is good.
The kids are doing well.
But it requires focus and attention.
And I'm just thinking about maybe just being intentional.
I just feel like the one thing I feel like is, yeah,
I feel like I need to really enjoy this,
get the most out of the season that I'm in right now,
connecting with the Lord and going deep with the Lord.
And I do believe that, I don't know,
I just feel like this is probably my last year single.
I'm 45.
So I think at some point in my 46th year,
I think I'll probably, if not get married,
at least be with someone that would lead to that further
down the road.
So I just feel like I'm not in a hurry, but I'm also,
I'm still open.
I'm still talking to people here and there.
But I'm not super hungry to, like,
I don't have the same energy or priority
to get out of the season as I felt even a year ago.
I just feel a little bit more content in the season
that I'm in right now.
Yeah.
I want to let you know that that is very, very normal
for widowers.
And your wife passed very quickly
without really any kind of notice, any long-term notice.
And so it's natural.
The kind of pendulum swing that you experience right
after she passed is very, very, very normal.
And then this kind of balancing and this stability
that has also come to you is also,
I've seen that happen a lot.
And that's a good thing.
And that means that when you do choose, and you will,
and when you do choose, that you're
going to choose from a really good heart and head place.
And it's going to be the right timing for you and your kids.
And it's going to be great.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Yeah.
I'm excited for you.
And stay open, because a lot of times, you guys,
we, and gentlemen, all of you that
think that just like Jesse, it's like, hey, I'm in a good place.
I'm content right now.
He used the word hungry.
So you're not going out here trying to make it happen.
But you're not closed off to it.
Just make sure that you're not closed off to it.
Because oftentimes, God sees us ready in a way
that we don't see ourselves as ready.
And even if we're not actively pursuing something,
it doesn't mean that it can't just kind of show up.
And oftentimes, that is how it happens.
So just be open.
He was forecasting meeting someone next year in 27.
But it could be this year.
No, I agree.
I agree.
I'm not saying anything.
I can definitely meet someone.
And then maybe, anyhow, I just feel like, sorry.
Yeah, correct.
No, no.
I know that you're not saying it.
But I just want to make sure that everyone else,
it's just kind of a good example.
Yeah.
That's what I was trying to say, that middle ground.
Yeah.
I hope we see you at the conference.
When does your book come out?
It's at the printer now.
So we're hoping to have some sample copies tomorrow,
actually.
And if everything looks good, as far as the typesetting
and all the things, then we'll put in the pre-sale order.
And we should have the pre-sale order by this Friday.
And we'll be mailing out the pre-sale books this weekend.
Then the book will be available to the public via booksellers
at the beginning of May.
Great.
Yeah.
So there's still time to pre-sale, you guys,
on my website.
If you haven't, it's $25, and you get a whole bunch
of perks with it.
Um, if you want to get the book in pre-sale, we'll probably be
mailing those out this weekend.
So you'll be in a good timing.
Your website is JackieDorman.com.
It is JackieDorman.com.
All right.
You guys, I want to get you guys moving forward.
What?
I'm sorry, Kevin.
What?
I'm just saying I had picked up a book already.
Hope they got the, uh, on the mailing list.
Oh yeah.
So, um, I want to get you guys moving forward.
So, uh, we need to, we need to be really intentional about, uh, momentum in this
year and moving forward towards anything that you want, like if you're like,
Jesse, like, Hey, you know, I'm really content, you know, I'm not saying that
God can't send me anyone, but I'm not actively pursuing or looking, but there's
something else that you want to accomplish, uh, really want to focus on that, focus
on any deeper healing, anything that you think is still getting in your way, just
in life, in your identity, in your self-esteem, if you're still dealing with
any kind of addiction that keeps popping up, whether it's porn or something else,
definitely want this to be a time where we're getting beyond that stuff.
I really do believe that Supernatural Saturday message about God connecting
dots and things beginning to make sense and things beginning to come together.
If you did not hear this week's Supernatural Saturday, so a couple, you
know, a couple of days ago, Saturday and the previous week, definitely listen to
those and replay in your group, in your app group, there's replays because they
are both really powerful words from the Lord.
There actually was a word of prophecy that came forth in the first one.
Um, and then I really dig into breaking that word down in this week's and it was
really, it was very, very, um, powerful to me and, um, and to, and a lot of people
have weighed in that it was powerful to them.
So let's stay on the same page with God.
Big things are happening.
Good things are happening.
All of you are amazing guys.
You're not perfect guys, and you were never asked to be perfect.
So if that's getting in the way of you moving forward, then let's just let it be
the end tonight, because you're never going to, um, you're never going to be
everything that you need to be.
That is always going to be you leaning into Christ to make up the difference.
And, um, just having a repentant heart and having a teachable heart is all that's
necessary.
And then of course, your woman is going to make you a better man.
I doesn't mean women are made.
I'm not saying women are better than men and we're going to make you a better man.
You're going to make her a better woman.
But you know, one of the missing pieces to you becoming a better woman is
finding the man that you could be is her just so you know, she is that, um,
husband appreciation day was this weekend.
It's some made up holiday that the culture is made up, but I was down with it.
And so I took David on Saturday.
That was husband appreciation day.
I took him and I bought him some clothes and I took him and bought a mistake and
did some things.
And I made a little video about him.
He's here now.
He just came in.
And, um, because your, your boy is a skinny legend.
He went from a 36 ways to a 32.
And so he's going after it.
He went from two 18.
This is the first time he's been under 200 pounds in the whole 20 years.
We've been married.
Yeah, it's true.
So how'd you do it?
How'd you do it, David?
Yeah.
How'd you do it?
No, how did you do it?
Sheer discipline and will and just, um, you know, just all the, all the right
things.
So he has been in a calorie deficit and he also is on a very micro dose of tears
appetite.
Yeah.
I'm on GLP one.
So he's on a micro dose of tears, appetite and, um, the lowest dose, very
small.
And, but, but you, but it's really, it's really helping, but it's caused him to
make better food choices.
You're less hungry.
So he's made better food choices.
It's true.
And even when he went off of it, he was still making better food choices.
It regulated.
Oh, and you're also on blood pressure medicine.
Yeah.
So he had like really bad blood pressure for a long time that he was just
ignoring.
And then when he got on the blood pressure medicine, finally he relented and got on
it.
And now he just is losing weight faster.
The biggest thing, it was just, it was enough help.
It wasn't like a whole overhaul, but it was just enough help to just get you over
the hump of like just making better choices.
Yeah.
And most people tolerate it.
Well, maybe not.
It was epic.
Semi-glutide, but tears, appetite is two peptides in one.
And a lot of people tolerate that a lot better.
Um, he was pre-diabetic, so he's a perfect candidate for it.
And, um, definitely, I'm definitely going to get in the gym guys.
So don't worry about like losing muscle mass.
Yeah.
He looks normal.
So he doesn't look like a crypt keeper or anything.
He's fine.
I mean,
Well, but to be honest, to be honest, he's lost 19 pounds, but he lost 10 of those on his own.
He only lost nine with the teres epitaphs. We lost 10 before he even got on there.
All right. So you guys, if you're thinking about that, you should definitely go for it.
It's really not that expensive. There's a lot of places online that
that, you know, we're going through our doctor, but you could do it. You know,
you could do whatever. All right. Do you want to say anything to them? Because I'm going to.
All right. I was just going to say that. We're going to get you guys moving forward.
After husband appreciation day, the very next morning, she did declare to me,
husband appreciation day is actually over now. Just so you know, so get back to work.
Yeah, that sounds boring. Yeah, no, it was good. She's look, I'm married to a good woman. I don't
know if you know this or not. Hopefully tonight you were able to see that, but she's she's
incredible and I love her. And God has a great woman for you all too. I was talking to a bunch
of great ladies tonight on the other, on the other call. So let's get it together, guys. I was
telling ladies to get it together and let's do this. Let's make it work. Absolutely. Why not?
Everyone who's ready to be spotlighted, email us. Yeah. Every Jackie says everyone is ready
to be spotlighted. Email us. Let us know even if you've done it before or I asked for it before
in the past. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Hunter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. So let's do it. If you want to
be spotlighted, email us at admin at Jackie Dorman dot com and let us know so we can get it set up
for you. All right. Thank you. God bless, guys. Have a great, great week. Thanks, y'all.