WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.920
here. All right, so if you're just joining, I see someone just popped on. David and I

2
00:00:06.920 --> 00:00:11.840
switched tonight. He's with the ladies and I came over here to do a little coaching with

3
00:00:11.840 --> 00:00:19.400
you guys and or Q&A. So you want to ask stuff about women in general, you want to ask about

4
00:00:19.400 --> 00:00:24.360
anything in particular that has to do with dating, that has to do with a woman that you

5
00:00:24.360 --> 00:00:29.880
might be talking to or want to talk to, anything and everything. We'll just do a little Q&A

6
00:00:29.880 --> 00:00:35.240
and a little coaching tonight. Does that sound good? Awesome. Okay, let's see. We have Chris

7
00:00:35.240 --> 00:00:41.480
here and David and Kevin and Mike and Matthew and Rodney. A couple of you are new to me.

8
00:00:41.480 --> 00:00:50.560
So hey, guys. I mean, I haven't formally met you maybe before. Right. So what are you guys

9
00:00:50.560 --> 00:00:57.420
up to? What are you guys working on? And also, you know, some of you are newer, but those

10
00:00:57.420 --> 00:01:02.700
of you that are not newer, that you've been around for a while, David, Mike, Matthew,

11
00:01:02.700 --> 00:01:09.100
I really want to help you guys get moving forward because, you know, the year's almost

12
00:01:09.100 --> 00:01:18.420
half over. And I think that this is a very special and amazing year for marriage.

13
00:01:19.420 --> 00:01:25.420
Oh, another. Oh, Kenton. And Kenton is here, too. Hi, Kenton.

14
00:01:25.420 --> 00:01:29.420
Hello, Chris. It's good to see you again.

15
00:01:29.420 --> 00:01:36.780
Yep. I am going to be your coach tonight. David is over there getting harassed. David's

16
00:01:36.780 --> 00:01:42.060
getting harassed by the ladies. I just be a fly on the wall over there. See what they're

17
00:01:42.060 --> 00:01:46.500
asking him right now. Yeah, it's going to be fun.

18
00:01:47.500 --> 00:01:54.980
Yeah, he's he's silly. He'll be fine. OK. All right, you guys. So what's up? Talk to

19
00:01:54.980 --> 00:02:00.580
me. Some of you guys remember when I was your main coach, it wasn't David. Mike, you've

20
00:02:00.580 --> 00:02:04.380
been here that long. I was going to say, like, you know, I miss those days, Jackie. You'd

21
00:02:04.380 --> 00:02:08.259
be proud of me. I've been doing really well. But, oh, you know, you're you're always like,

22
00:02:08.259 --> 00:02:12.500
hey, Mike, why do you always go after unavailable, unavailable women? And I'm like, well, I don't

23
00:02:12.500 --> 00:02:18.980
know. That's a great question. But even like but I just haven't had a whole lot of opportunities,

24
00:02:18.980 --> 00:02:23.500
but they just haven't fall. It hasn't really worked out. I've had a couple that were available.

25
00:02:23.500 --> 00:02:29.140
One Trump killed it. Like she brought up like I knew I just knew it was going to end it,

26
00:02:29.140 --> 00:02:32.980
but I brought it up anyways. I was like, you know, I voted for him and she's like, well,

27
00:02:32.980 --> 00:02:37.420
that's it's over for me. So that was an interesting thing. But I just wanted to say, like, I really

28
00:02:37.420 --> 00:02:41.500
appreciate you and everything that you do. And I know you get a lot. There's a lot you

29
00:02:41.500 --> 00:02:45.980
do a lot. And I just I've always, you know, I'll never forget meeting you at School of

30
00:02:45.980 --> 00:02:49.340
the Prophets. And I'm like, you're like, I'm a matchmaker. I'm like, is that a thing? You

31
00:02:49.340 --> 00:02:53.860
know? So but yeah, no, I really appreciate you guys.

32
00:02:53.860 --> 00:02:56.980
And you guys, I just want to say, because Michael brought it up just now. Thanks, Mike.

33
00:02:56.980 --> 00:03:01.380
I appreciate that. And, you know, geography might be working against you right now as

34
00:03:01.380 --> 00:03:07.180
far as matching you guys. Geography is a real thing, especially for conservatives, especially

35
00:03:07.180 --> 00:03:11.180
for Christians. There are not that there isn't. You only need one woman, right? You only need

36
00:03:11.220 --> 00:03:19.580
one. But there are parts of the country and countries, Kenton, that are more liberal.

37
00:03:19.580 --> 00:03:28.100
And there's a lot, a lot more people who just wouldn't be on the same pages, a lot of you

38
00:03:28.100 --> 00:03:34.260
as far as for long term commitment because of convictions, because of non-negotiables

39
00:03:34.260 --> 00:03:39.140
that have to do with belief systems. And so that's a real thing. But Michael just said

40
00:03:39.140 --> 00:03:44.060
something about matchmaking. You guys, we are because of all the advancements in technology

41
00:03:44.060 --> 00:03:50.660
and all the advancements with A.I. and we have been able to take a dream that we've

42
00:03:50.660 --> 00:03:55.740
had of having our own app. We have Spiritmate Match and we did have that built for us. And

43
00:03:55.740 --> 00:04:01.600
it's pretty clunky. I don't love it. But we are now working on something that is going

44
00:04:01.600 --> 00:04:08.340
to be kind of my community based matchmaking dream where people will be able to, you know,

45
00:04:08.340 --> 00:04:13.980
rematch, play matchmaker themselves. And we are currently working on that and hoping

46
00:04:13.980 --> 00:04:19.500
to have it available in beta just here in the next couple of weeks. So that's how fast

47
00:04:19.500 --> 00:04:25.180
things move now with technology. And so that's exciting. All right. So yes, matchmaking is

48
00:04:25.180 --> 00:04:30.300
the thing. But here's the thing, guys, it doesn't really help. And my new book is coming

49
00:04:30.300 --> 00:04:33.740
out next week. I don't know if any of you bought it in presale, but I talk in the book

50
00:04:33.740 --> 00:04:37.680
about how to be your own matchmaker. That's really what the book is about. And it doesn't

51
00:04:37.680 --> 00:04:41.720
really matter if you have proximity to lots and lots of women, if you don't know what

52
00:04:41.720 --> 00:04:47.120
you're looking for and you haven't fully done your heart work. And the reason why I say

53
00:04:47.120 --> 00:04:53.360
full done your heart work is because you're going to find a lot of reasons to no, no,

54
00:04:53.360 --> 00:04:57.440
because men are the ones that have to be sure. Men are the ones that have to be sure, you

55
00:04:57.440 --> 00:04:59.960
know, you are the ones that have to know that.

56
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:01.680
This is your wife.

57
00:05:01.680 --> 00:05:04.040
Not that pursuit is all on you.

58
00:05:04.040 --> 00:05:07.360
I believe women should also show desire

59
00:05:07.360 --> 00:05:11.960
and show partnership early on in the relationship.

60
00:05:11.960 --> 00:05:16.460
And if they don't, you're probably getting with a woman

61
00:05:16.460 --> 00:05:18.600
who wants you to do all the heavy lifting in life

62
00:05:18.600 --> 00:05:20.480
and she's just gonna kind of be along for the ride

63
00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:21.560
and you don't want that.

64
00:05:21.560 --> 00:05:25.060
But you're the ones that have to really be sure.

65
00:05:25.060 --> 00:05:29.400
Women can come around and decide later.

66
00:05:29.440 --> 00:05:31.440
They can be more, it's a yes until it's a no,

67
00:05:31.440 --> 00:05:36.120
but you guys are more, it's a no from the beginning.

68
00:05:36.120 --> 00:05:41.120
And so we've gotta dig into why

69
00:05:42.840 --> 00:05:46.960
you know that you have to choose someone eventually

70
00:05:46.960 --> 00:05:49.320
that is not perfect and maybe not everything

71
00:05:49.320 --> 00:05:51.400
that you ever dreamed of,

72
00:05:51.400 --> 00:05:53.720
but that you really, really like and enjoy

73
00:05:53.720 --> 00:05:56.740
and are attracted to and wanna just build together.

74
00:05:56.740 --> 00:05:58.400
You know that, right?

75
00:05:58.400 --> 00:05:59.960
You guys are all aware of that.

76
00:06:01.800 --> 00:06:02.640
Yes. Okay.

77
00:06:04.480 --> 00:06:06.620
Good, good.

78
00:06:08.280 --> 00:06:11.760
Because I feel like some of you deal with a lot of avoidant,

79
00:06:11.760 --> 00:06:15.200
a lot of avoidant attachment and...

80
00:06:15.200 --> 00:06:18.920
Or do avoidant people or avoidant attachment?

81
00:06:18.920 --> 00:06:22.080
You deal with, Mike, you specifically might deal

82
00:06:22.080 --> 00:06:24.360
with a little bit of anxious attachment.

83
00:06:24.360 --> 00:06:25.640
Oh no, absolutely.

84
00:06:25.640 --> 00:06:26.640
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

85
00:06:26.640 --> 00:06:29.280
But I mean, just insecure attachment.

86
00:06:29.280 --> 00:06:30.480
Yeah, yeah.

87
00:06:30.480 --> 00:06:32.560
And so, we talk about that quite often,

88
00:06:32.560 --> 00:06:33.560
actually on Mondays.

89
00:06:35.860 --> 00:06:38.000
Well, because I'm just trying to bring up

90
00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:41.080
what like putting boundaries on an avoidant.

91
00:06:41.080 --> 00:06:43.300
So they actually come back for connection, right?

92
00:06:43.300 --> 00:06:45.300
And like, hey, you can have your space,

93
00:06:45.300 --> 00:06:46.920
but I need my connection as well.

94
00:06:46.920 --> 00:06:47.760
And stuff like that.

95
00:06:47.760 --> 00:06:48.800
Yeah, well, you have to stop being attracted

96
00:06:48.800 --> 00:06:50.520
to avoidant women because here's the thing,

97
00:06:50.520 --> 00:06:52.180
there's not really a lot of them.

98
00:06:52.180 --> 00:06:55.200
So the fact that you keep finding them is weird.

99
00:06:55.200 --> 00:06:57.200
It's almost like a needle in a haystack.

100
00:06:58.480 --> 00:07:00.160
Well, from what I remember,

101
00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:02.320
it's about 60% of the dating population.

102
00:07:02.320 --> 00:07:03.160
Is that not true?

103
00:07:03.160 --> 00:07:06.560
It's not female though.

104
00:07:06.560 --> 00:07:09.880
Women are usually anxious attachers

105
00:07:09.880 --> 00:07:12.640
or disordered attachers, but avoidance,

106
00:07:12.640 --> 00:07:14.160
there are women that are avoidance

107
00:07:14.160 --> 00:07:16.320
and you somehow find them, but...

108
00:07:17.520 --> 00:07:18.360
What's the difference?

109
00:07:18.360 --> 00:07:19.180
There's not a lot of them.

110
00:07:19.180 --> 00:07:20.020
They're not the majority.

111
00:07:20.020 --> 00:07:23.160
I think truly avoidant attaching women

112
00:07:23.160 --> 00:07:25.960
are like less than 5%.

113
00:07:25.960 --> 00:07:28.120
I'm really good at it.

114
00:07:28.120 --> 00:07:29.380
You are good at it.

115
00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:33.880
He said a little homing signal.

116
00:07:35.360 --> 00:07:38.020
What is the definition of avoidance in this case?

117
00:07:39.520 --> 00:07:43.020
Avoidant attacher is, okay, here's the thing.

118
00:07:43.020 --> 00:07:44.080
There's secure attachment,

119
00:07:44.080 --> 00:07:45.620
then there's insecure attachment.

120
00:07:45.620 --> 00:07:48.680
And anxious and anxious avoidant and dismissive avoidant

121
00:07:48.680 --> 00:07:52.640
and disordered attachers are all insecure attachment styles.

122
00:07:52.640 --> 00:07:55.080
And avoidance, just plain avoidance,

123
00:07:55.080 --> 00:07:57.600
avoidance usually are either anxious avoidance

124
00:07:57.600 --> 00:08:00.080
or they're dismissive avoidance.

125
00:08:00.080 --> 00:08:03.600
But they're people who have a really deep fear

126
00:08:03.600 --> 00:08:07.980
of being controlled, of being trapped, of choosing wrong.

127
00:08:09.400 --> 00:08:14.400
I think that they have a unconscious fear of abandonment,

128
00:08:16.120 --> 00:08:17.480
but I think that's more unconscious.

129
00:08:17.480 --> 00:08:19.680
The conscious fear that they have is being trapped

130
00:08:19.680 --> 00:08:21.880
or being controlled mostly.

131
00:08:21.920 --> 00:08:24.320
And they are mostly men.

132
00:08:24.320 --> 00:08:28.840
The majority of a true avoidant attachers are mostly male.

133
00:08:28.840 --> 00:08:30.360
And what will happen,

134
00:08:30.360 --> 00:08:32.320
especially if they're an anxious avoidant,

135
00:08:32.320 --> 00:08:33.799
they'll be really cool at first.

136
00:08:33.799 --> 00:08:36.360
They'll really, really be attracted.

137
00:08:36.360 --> 00:08:39.080
And a lot of times they run in real fast,

138
00:08:39.080 --> 00:08:42.080
but then they'll pull back just as fast,

139
00:08:42.080 --> 00:08:44.000
kind of out of nowhere.

140
00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:45.560
Out of nowhere, they'll pull back.

141
00:08:45.560 --> 00:08:47.120
They found some sort of deal breaker.

142
00:08:47.120 --> 00:08:48.320
They're not attracted to you.

143
00:08:48.320 --> 00:08:50.600
One of the famous lines of avoidant men is,

144
00:08:50.600 --> 00:08:52.320
I just really don't feel that way about you.

145
00:08:52.320 --> 00:08:56.600
Well, you did two weeks ago, but now you don't.

146
00:08:56.600 --> 00:09:00.260
So they'll start finding problems with the woman.

147
00:09:00.260 --> 00:09:04.260
They'll start nitpicking at the things that,

148
00:09:04.260 --> 00:09:06.640
oh, I don't like the way that she said that,

149
00:09:06.640 --> 00:09:08.320
or that offended me,

150
00:09:08.320 --> 00:09:11.200
or I just don't think that I'm as attracted to her

151
00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:14.400
as I thought I was, or they get the ick.

152
00:09:14.400 --> 00:09:16.480
And women that are avoidant attachers,

153
00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:19.560
they really get the ick and Mike knows that.

154
00:09:19.560 --> 00:09:22.920
So they, a lot of times are really on board as well.

155
00:09:22.920 --> 00:09:26.160
And then all of a sudden you do something

156
00:09:26.160 --> 00:09:29.880
and most times it's not even something big.

157
00:09:29.880 --> 00:09:31.240
That's a really interesting thing

158
00:09:31.240 --> 00:09:33.520
about breaking up with an avoidant

159
00:09:33.520 --> 00:09:35.200
or an avoidant breaking up with you.

160
00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:37.280
Usually they'll let you break up with them.

161
00:09:37.280 --> 00:09:39.060
They'll just withdraw so much

162
00:09:39.060 --> 00:09:41.560
that you eventually just have to call it.

163
00:09:41.560 --> 00:09:45.400
But it's not ever something big usually.

164
00:09:45.400 --> 00:09:48.160
Nine times out of 10, it's just something really small.

165
00:09:49.000 --> 00:09:52.520
Yeah, and they really don't like bringing the hammer down.

166
00:09:52.520 --> 00:09:55.320
You know, and they did like the detachment.

167
00:09:55.320 --> 00:09:56.160
That's, yeah.

168
00:09:56.160 --> 00:09:57.920
So I didn't know it was mainly men.

169
00:09:57.920 --> 00:09:59.040
That's interesting.

170
00:09:59.040 --> 00:10:00.840
Cause I am working with a couple of.

171
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:01.780
avoiding men, so, yeah.

172
00:10:03.720 --> 00:10:06.700
Yeah, yeah, it is mainly men.

173
00:10:09.640 --> 00:10:11.200
But women can have a lot,

174
00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:14.320
mostly, most disordered attachers are women.

175
00:10:14.320 --> 00:10:15.940
There are some men that are disordered,

176
00:10:15.940 --> 00:10:18.080
but most disordered attachment is women,

177
00:10:18.080 --> 00:10:20.600
and that is a combination of anxious and avoided.

178
00:10:22.640 --> 00:10:25.600
I'm not sure where I fit in,

179
00:10:25.600 --> 00:10:28.400
because I'm just not around very many women.

180
00:10:28.400 --> 00:10:32.960
I'm in Alaska, and there's like a population of 3,600,

181
00:10:32.960 --> 00:10:37.180
and most of the women I'm around are my sisters,

182
00:10:37.180 --> 00:10:41.240
and at church, there's probably like maybe 20 women there,

183
00:10:41.240 --> 00:10:43.560
and 18 of them are married,

184
00:10:43.560 --> 00:10:45.840
and the rest of them are too young or too old.

185
00:10:46.840 --> 00:10:49.260
Oh, wow, well, we do have,

186
00:10:49.260 --> 00:10:50.880
where's, Mike, where's that quiz at?

187
00:10:50.880 --> 00:10:54.120
I think that it's on, I think it's on JackieDorman.com.

188
00:10:54.120 --> 00:10:55.280
If you go to my website,

189
00:10:55.280 --> 00:10:57.980
there's a quiz to find out your attachment style.

190
00:10:57.980 --> 00:10:59.340
Yeah.

191
00:10:59.340 --> 00:11:00.740
Oh, okay.

192
00:11:00.740 --> 00:11:02.900
Right now, where I'm at on my heart work

193
00:11:02.900 --> 00:11:07.900
is I'm on the fifth session on the very last video.

194
00:11:10.700 --> 00:11:15.660
I'm halfway through it, the divorce video.

195
00:11:15.660 --> 00:11:18.500
Oh, yeah, are you divorced, Kevin?

196
00:11:18.500 --> 00:11:21.780
Yes, but I've been divorced for like 21 years.

197
00:11:21.780 --> 00:11:23.020
Oh, okay.

198
00:11:23.020 --> 00:11:25.860
So, all my kids are over 19 now.

199
00:11:26.860 --> 00:11:29.140
Oh, wow, so you're almost done with the heart work.

200
00:11:29.140 --> 00:11:29.980
That's great.

201
00:11:29.980 --> 00:11:31.380
Yeah.

202
00:11:31.380 --> 00:11:33.660
Well, hopefully, you've had some breakthrough.

203
00:11:34.660 --> 00:11:37.140
Yeah, I kinda had breakthrough

204
00:11:37.140 --> 00:11:38.900
over the last three or four years, too.

205
00:11:38.900 --> 00:11:41.460
There's a lot of stuff that I dealt with

206
00:11:41.460 --> 00:11:46.380
that I went through a bunch with Pedro.

207
00:11:46.380 --> 00:11:49.420
So, I started with Kingdom Seekers

208
00:11:49.420 --> 00:11:51.580
like three or four years ago.

209
00:11:51.580 --> 00:11:52.420
Okay.

210
00:11:52.420 --> 00:11:53.540
So, that really helped me out

211
00:11:53.580 --> 00:11:56.140
some heart work sessions there and whatnot, too.

212
00:11:56.140 --> 00:11:58.260
So, you came here from Kingdom Seekers?

213
00:11:58.260 --> 00:12:00.860
Yes, that's where I actually met you

214
00:12:00.860 --> 00:12:05.420
or found out who you were was through Kingdom Seekers.

215
00:12:05.420 --> 00:12:07.660
Awesome, well, welcome, glad you're here.

216
00:12:08.540 --> 00:12:13.540
Alaska, okay, yeah, I mean, do you have to stay there?

217
00:12:16.100 --> 00:12:17.180
No, I don't.

218
00:12:17.180 --> 00:12:19.460
Right now, I'm in kind of a transition period.

219
00:12:19.460 --> 00:12:22.900
I mean, all my six of my seven grandkids are here

220
00:12:22.940 --> 00:12:25.500
and they're around me and I get to see them all the time

221
00:12:25.500 --> 00:12:28.660
and two of my kids out of my five.

222
00:12:28.660 --> 00:12:29.500
Okay.

223
00:12:29.500 --> 00:12:31.660
But I got laid off last November.

224
00:12:31.660 --> 00:12:35.180
Our company sold out and so, I haven't worked since November.

225
00:12:35.180 --> 00:12:36.020
Wow.

226
00:12:36.020 --> 00:12:38.660
Now, I'm starting to job hunt,

227
00:12:38.660 --> 00:12:43.180
but all the jobs that I can get right now

228
00:12:43.180 --> 00:12:46.660
are like 60 to 70 hours a week at least.

229
00:12:49.020 --> 00:12:51.220
I drive truck is what I do.

230
00:12:51.220 --> 00:12:52.180
Okay.

231
00:12:52.220 --> 00:12:55.140
But for the last 21 years, it's all been locally.

232
00:12:55.140 --> 00:12:56.380
I go home every night.

233
00:12:56.380 --> 00:12:59.940
But now, as far as local jobs go,

234
00:12:59.940 --> 00:13:04.940
the ones that are available are either paying too little

235
00:13:06.220 --> 00:13:11.220
because I'm union or there's stuff that I don't wanna do,

236
00:13:11.700 --> 00:13:13.260
like haul fuel and be around it

237
00:13:13.260 --> 00:13:16.980
because I'm really susceptible to petroleum products

238
00:13:16.980 --> 00:13:19.340
because I've been overexposed to them.

239
00:13:19.340 --> 00:13:22.100
So, I am looking elsewhere.

240
00:13:22.860 --> 00:13:25.860
I got family in California, which I will never move to,

241
00:13:25.860 --> 00:13:29.460
but I do have family in Wyoming also.

242
00:13:29.460 --> 00:13:30.300
Okay.

243
00:13:32.140 --> 00:13:34.060
But still, I mean, if I go truck driving,

244
00:13:34.060 --> 00:13:38.940
it'll be probably over the road if I end up there.

245
00:13:38.940 --> 00:13:40.860
I mean, there's a job up here I really want,

246
00:13:40.860 --> 00:13:43.460
but like I said, it's like 70 hours a week.

247
00:13:44.860 --> 00:13:46.260
They say four to six days,

248
00:13:46.260 --> 00:13:48.100
but all their drivers say they run you to death.

249
00:13:48.100 --> 00:13:51.260
So, that don't leave much for family time

250
00:13:52.140 --> 00:13:53.180
or anything else.

251
00:13:53.180 --> 00:13:55.380
So, I'm just-

252
00:13:55.380 --> 00:13:57.820
Well, it sounds like you're in a lot of transition

253
00:13:57.820 --> 00:13:59.460
and that's a good place to be

254
00:13:59.460 --> 00:14:04.060
because guys, if any of you are in transition as well,

255
00:14:04.060 --> 00:14:07.060
Kevin's talking about how he had something

256
00:14:07.060 --> 00:14:10.180
that he had a status quo in life.

257
00:14:10.180 --> 00:14:11.300
He was living his life,

258
00:14:11.300 --> 00:14:14.380
maybe not the best life that he ever dreamed of living,

259
00:14:14.380 --> 00:14:15.820
but he had a steady job.

260
00:14:15.820 --> 00:14:18.260
He got to see several of his grandchildren,

261
00:14:18.260 --> 00:14:19.820
two of his kids live around him.

262
00:14:19.820 --> 00:14:22.700
And then all of a sudden things started shifting.

263
00:14:22.700 --> 00:14:25.380
The job that he had dried up, they sold the company.

264
00:14:25.380 --> 00:14:27.260
Now he's been unemployed since November.

265
00:14:27.260 --> 00:14:29.100
It doesn't seem there'd be any good options

266
00:14:29.100 --> 00:14:31.220
for jobs around him now.

267
00:14:31.220 --> 00:14:33.220
When that happens, to me,

268
00:14:33.220 --> 00:14:36.940
that is grace being removed from a situation.

269
00:14:36.940 --> 00:14:39.020
There was grace, so just kind of like a status quo.

270
00:14:39.020 --> 00:14:42.300
Like I said, you're just in a comfort zone,

271
00:14:42.300 --> 00:14:44.620
maybe not the best thing you ever dreamed of,

272
00:14:44.620 --> 00:14:45.740
but a comfort zone.

273
00:14:45.740 --> 00:14:49.140
And now that comfort zone is shifting.

274
00:14:50.020 --> 00:14:52.660
You guys have heard of the birds

275
00:14:52.660 --> 00:14:56.060
that start removing all of the comfortable things

276
00:14:56.060 --> 00:14:59.100
in the nest so that the baby birds will get the heck out.

277
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.160
And it sounds like that's happening for you, Kevin.

278
00:15:03.160 --> 00:15:05.360
And I've been in that situation many times.

279
00:15:05.360 --> 00:15:07.880
And I just want to say that it always

280
00:15:07.880 --> 00:15:10.000
leads us to something better.

281
00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:15.120
Yeah, I've just been praying for direction from God,

282
00:15:15.120 --> 00:15:16.720
you know, that the right doors will

283
00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:20.520
open to put me in the right place where he wants me to be.

284
00:15:20.520 --> 00:15:23.040
That's what I want, so.

285
00:15:23.040 --> 00:15:24.080
Absolutely.

286
00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:25.160
That's awesome.

287
00:15:25.160 --> 00:15:26.840
All right, well, you're in a good place.

288
00:15:26.840 --> 00:15:28.120
You're in a place of change.

289
00:15:28.120 --> 00:15:29.360
That's exciting.

290
00:15:29.360 --> 00:15:32.680
You guys, change is, you know, it's a little scary.

291
00:15:32.680 --> 00:15:34.440
But it's also really exciting.

292
00:15:34.440 --> 00:15:38.240
Because most of us, if we were being really honest,

293
00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:41.160
we're not, our life didn't turn out the way

294
00:15:41.160 --> 00:15:42.480
that we expected it to.

295
00:15:42.480 --> 00:15:44.120
And we're not living our dreams.

296
00:15:44.120 --> 00:15:48.480
And so when change, the winds of change start blowing,

297
00:15:48.480 --> 00:15:51.160
that means that something better is,

298
00:15:51.160 --> 00:15:53.520
we're being invited into something better.

299
00:15:53.520 --> 00:15:56.160
Yeah, I have about two more weeks.

300
00:15:56.160 --> 00:15:58.720
Two more weeks, and then I feel like I'm

301
00:15:58.720 --> 00:16:00.200
going to have to settle for something

302
00:16:00.200 --> 00:16:02.080
that I don't really want.

303
00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:03.080
Well, don't.

304
00:16:03.080 --> 00:16:05.040
You don't have to do anything.

305
00:16:05.040 --> 00:16:07.280
Well, I'm talking financially.

306
00:16:07.280 --> 00:16:10.200
I mean, I've got to pay my bills.

307
00:16:10.200 --> 00:16:12.160
That's what I'm worried about, is

308
00:16:12.160 --> 00:16:15.360
I've been off work for a long period of time.

309
00:16:15.360 --> 00:16:18.440
And it's getting to that point where I need to start working,

310
00:16:18.440 --> 00:16:21.560
or I'm going to go way underwater.

311
00:16:21.560 --> 00:16:27.000
Well, make sure that you're, listen

312
00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:31.080
to the Supernatural Saturday from this week

313
00:16:31.080 --> 00:16:33.000
about God connecting the dots.

314
00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:36.440
I feel like that is a really on-time message

315
00:16:36.440 --> 00:16:38.120
for where you are right now.

316
00:16:38.120 --> 00:16:40.200
I can go back and re-listen to it.

317
00:16:40.200 --> 00:16:44.280
I was on Super Saturday and yesterday's call.

318
00:16:44.280 --> 00:16:46.840
Yeah, and there's a synopsis of it posted in the group.

319
00:16:46.840 --> 00:16:52.960
Guys, I noticed that you guys don't ever post in your groups.

320
00:16:52.960 --> 00:16:54.360
You don't post in your groups.

321
00:16:54.360 --> 00:16:56.280
You don't ask a coach.

322
00:16:56.280 --> 00:17:00.360
Do you have a tab called Ask a Coach there on the app?

323
00:17:00.360 --> 00:17:04.839
So if they're on the app that we have, like I downloaded

324
00:17:04.839 --> 00:17:08.160
the app, if it's available for me to see,

325
00:17:08.160 --> 00:17:09.520
that's for the guys group?

326
00:17:09.520 --> 00:17:11.440
That's what that is, is the guys group?

327
00:17:11.440 --> 00:17:12.440
It is, yes.

328
00:17:12.440 --> 00:17:14.520
OK, I was kind of confused about that.

329
00:17:14.520 --> 00:17:17.079
I thought it was like an everybody group.

330
00:17:17.079 --> 00:17:18.680
No, it's just the guys.

331
00:17:18.680 --> 00:17:20.319
You can post anything you want in there.

332
00:17:20.319 --> 00:17:21.520
It's just the guys.

333
00:17:21.520 --> 00:17:23.280
It's just you guys and your coaches.

334
00:17:23.280 --> 00:17:27.960
So all right, so Kevin's in transition.

335
00:17:27.960 --> 00:17:29.240
Anyone else in transition?

336
00:17:29.240 --> 00:17:31.480
I see a couple new guys jumped on here.

337
00:17:31.480 --> 00:17:32.800
You guys, I'm your coach tonight.

338
00:17:32.800 --> 00:17:34.720
David's over with the ladies.

339
00:17:34.720 --> 00:17:37.920
And so I used to, back in the day,

340
00:17:37.920 --> 00:17:41.440
the OGs that are all married now, I used to coach them.

341
00:17:41.440 --> 00:17:44.840
Except Mike is not married, and he's going to be, though.

342
00:17:44.840 --> 00:17:48.760
I think, Mike, you might be one of the only OGs left.

343
00:17:48.760 --> 00:17:51.480
You guys, Daniel Delgado just got married.

344
00:17:51.480 --> 00:17:52.640
That's amazing.

345
00:17:52.640 --> 00:17:57.240
For those of you that knew Daniel, he just got married.

346
00:17:57.240 --> 00:17:59.560
There's a couple guys that just got married,

347
00:17:59.560 --> 00:18:02.600
and I'm not sure if anyone here would actually

348
00:18:02.600 --> 00:18:03.400
even remember them.

349
00:18:03.400 --> 00:18:04.800
They were even before Mike's time.

350
00:18:04.800 --> 00:18:09.040
So yeah, here's the thing.

351
00:18:09.040 --> 00:18:11.720
We don't have 100% success rate with our ladies.

352
00:18:11.720 --> 00:18:13.160
We have a lot of ladies, and a lot

353
00:18:13.160 --> 00:18:14.720
of ladies that just don't want to change,

354
00:18:14.720 --> 00:18:16.160
and they don't want to do the work.

355
00:18:16.160 --> 00:18:19.480
But we have nearly 100% success rate with our guys.

356
00:18:20.480 --> 00:18:22.320
There's not as many of you, and if you're

357
00:18:22.320 --> 00:18:25.840
willing to do the work, you will be successful.

358
00:18:25.840 --> 00:18:26.960
All right, who wants to talk?

359
00:18:26.960 --> 00:18:27.760
Go ahead, Rodney.

360
00:18:27.760 --> 00:18:29.840
Yeah, I wanted to introduce myself.

361
00:18:29.840 --> 00:18:31.840
I'm really new to the group.

362
00:18:31.840 --> 00:18:32.560
Yeah, hi.

363
00:18:32.560 --> 00:18:35.240
Nice to meet you.

364
00:18:35.240 --> 00:18:39.960
I'm in the middle of my second week doing the hard work.

365
00:18:39.960 --> 00:18:40.480
Awesome.

366
00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:44.440
And so I found you through Kingdom Seekers also.

367
00:18:44.440 --> 00:18:48.360
Just started this year, so really new to the group.

368
00:18:48.520 --> 00:18:50.200
So really new to Pedro.

369
00:18:50.200 --> 00:18:53.160
Just really glad I found that community.

370
00:18:53.160 --> 00:18:55.760
It's just been a huge blessing.

371
00:18:55.760 --> 00:18:58.600
Awesome.

372
00:18:58.600 --> 00:19:02.280
So my question is, obviously, this is really new to me.

373
00:19:02.280 --> 00:19:04.240
I'm just starting the hard work.

374
00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:07.320
But I'm 56 years old.

375
00:19:07.320 --> 00:19:10.520
I've never been married.

376
00:19:10.520 --> 00:19:14.840
Obviously, desire to get married, possibly have kids.

377
00:19:14.840 --> 00:19:18.280
But I guess my question is, I'm attracted to women

378
00:19:18.280 --> 00:19:22.120
that are quite a bit younger than I am.

379
00:19:22.120 --> 00:19:31.360
And so is there like a, I don't know, like a maximum age gap

380
00:19:31.360 --> 00:19:33.840
that is just like, yeah, no more than 10 years,

381
00:19:33.840 --> 00:19:37.680
or no more than 15 years, or?

382
00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:38.680
How old are you, Rodney?

383
00:19:38.680 --> 00:19:40.280
I'm 56.

384
00:19:40.280 --> 00:19:44.360
OK, so and what is it do you think

385
00:19:44.360 --> 00:19:47.000
that you're attracted to about much younger women?

386
00:19:47.000 --> 00:19:49.000
When you say much younger, what are you saying,

387
00:19:49.000 --> 00:19:51.600
like 20 years younger, like women that are like 30s

388
00:19:51.600 --> 00:19:53.920
in their late 30s?

389
00:19:53.920 --> 00:19:57.280
Well, I go to a pretty big church.

390
00:19:57.280 --> 00:20:01.320
And there's a lot of good looking women.

391
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.800
in there, but they're mostly younger, like 20s and 20s and

392
00:20:04.800 --> 00:20:08.480
30s. Right. And it seems like the older ones are, you know,

393
00:20:08.560 --> 00:20:12.440
either married or most of them, most of them are married, have

394
00:20:12.440 --> 00:20:16.160
families and you know, stuff like that. Yeah, so

395
00:20:19.360 --> 00:20:23.760
so okay, so when it comes to as far as when it comes to these

396
00:20:23.760 --> 00:20:26.840
lights off guys, because they're getting on my nerves. When it

397
00:20:26.840 --> 00:20:33.120
comes to an age gap, it isn't about the age gap, it's more

398
00:20:33.120 --> 00:20:37.920
about a season gap. Okay, so I always coach that we should

399
00:20:37.920 --> 00:20:44.160
match seasons and not age. That being said, you know, I mean,

400
00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:46.560
you can find anything, you know, you can find someone who's

401
00:20:46.560 --> 00:20:49.680
willing to do anything, but the majority of women that are in

402
00:20:49.680 --> 00:20:52.760
their 20s aren't going to want to marry a man who's, you know,

403
00:20:52.760 --> 00:20:58.800
on the other half of 50s headed to 60. Unless he's really rich.

404
00:20:59.120 --> 00:21:02.040
You know, I mean, because those women that would want to do

405
00:21:02.040 --> 00:21:05.000
that, for the most part are hypergamous. And the word

406
00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:07.880
hypergamous means that, you know, it's just kind of a nice

407
00:21:07.880 --> 00:21:12.240
way of saying they're gold diggers. And it just means they

408
00:21:12.240 --> 00:21:15.560
want to marry up. And hypergamous can also be

409
00:21:15.560 --> 00:21:20.840
foreigners. You know, people who are not educated people who want

410
00:21:20.840 --> 00:21:24.080
a higher social status, they want a higher economic status,

411
00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:28.280
they want a green card. There's lots of different reasons why

412
00:21:28.320 --> 00:21:31.880
women would be more transactional with marriage. And

413
00:21:31.880 --> 00:21:34.280
there are a lot of women that are transactional, I just want

414
00:21:34.280 --> 00:21:37.560
to warn you guys. So when you get with women that are a lot

415
00:21:37.560 --> 00:21:40.760
younger, you got to really question their motives a lot

416
00:21:40.760 --> 00:21:45.240
harder if you attract one of them. Because in my experience,

417
00:21:45.280 --> 00:21:47.600
you know, they're just trying to get ahead in life, and then

418
00:21:47.600 --> 00:21:52.240
they're going to be gone. And so you don't want that. Right,

419
00:21:52.400 --> 00:21:56.040
right, right. You don't want that. Now, there's a lot of good

420
00:21:56.040 --> 00:21:59.440
looking women closer to your age range that you're like, I guess

421
00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:04.320
I'm trying to figure out what is what is attractive? Besides

422
00:22:04.320 --> 00:22:06.560
physically, but there's a lot of there's a lot of women that are

423
00:22:06.560 --> 00:22:10.280
in their 20s and 30s that are not good looking. So what is

424
00:22:10.280 --> 00:22:12.720
attractive about a much younger woman to you? Is it the

425
00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:17.680
vivaciousness? Is it the you know, young at heart? You know,

426
00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:21.160
kind of thing? Do you do you feel like women your own age?

427
00:22:21.160 --> 00:22:24.880
Are they're not? They're not? They've let themselves go? They

428
00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:27.200
don't look good? Like what is what's the thing?

429
00:22:27.800 --> 00:22:31.000
Yeah, I think I think it's the young at heart. I think it's the

430
00:22:31.000 --> 00:22:35.920
passion. It's just the kind of the wonder, right? You know,

431
00:22:35.920 --> 00:22:39.800
they're still trying to figure out the world. And so there's

432
00:22:39.840 --> 00:22:45.800
also that innocence, right? So I know that, you know, I know

433
00:22:45.800 --> 00:22:50.360
that wears off over time. You know, but

434
00:22:51.600 --> 00:22:56.840
definitely. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I mean, I'd say pretty

435
00:22:56.840 --> 00:22:59.800
good rule of thumb, guys. Once again, match seasons, there's

436
00:22:59.800 --> 00:23:03.040
always exceptions to rules. When I say match seasons, you're

437
00:23:03.040 --> 00:23:07.440
gonna match seasons with people who, you know, that they have

438
00:23:07.440 --> 00:23:11.240
the same goals that you have in this season of life. If you're

439
00:23:11.240 --> 00:23:14.040
raising children that they're willing to raise children, or

440
00:23:14.040 --> 00:23:18.160
they want children to or you know, whatever that the case

441
00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:24.000
may be. But besides that, the rule of thumb would probably be

442
00:23:25.360 --> 00:23:27.800
to find someone who's not transactional and doesn't have

443
00:23:27.800 --> 00:23:31.080
an ulterior motive, I'd say stay within a 10 year age difference.

444
00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:35.520
Okay, that's what another friend told me, like, 10 years is like

445
00:23:35.520 --> 00:23:40.080
a good, good number. Yeah, I mean, it's a trusted number.

446
00:23:40.160 --> 00:23:42.600
It's a trusted once again, there's always exceptions to the

447
00:23:42.600 --> 00:23:46.960
rule. But you know, women in their late 40s would be more

448
00:23:46.960 --> 00:23:51.600
than willing to marry, you know, a man who's in his, his, you

449
00:23:51.600 --> 00:23:55.040
know, later 50s. Now, those women aren't going to have

450
00:23:55.040 --> 00:24:00.920
children, but with you, but they may already have children. So I

451
00:24:00.920 --> 00:24:04.480
mean, it is possible that they could have children still at

452
00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:10.040
that age, but not usually. Right, right. Not usually. But

453
00:24:10.040 --> 00:24:13.040
you know, if you open your heart, and you guys, if you're

454
00:24:13.040 --> 00:24:16.600
like, if you're like Rodney, and you have a really specific type,

455
00:24:16.600 --> 00:24:19.880
and, you know, he said he's 56. And he's never been married

456
00:24:19.880 --> 00:24:22.560
before. So he obviously is leaning more towards avoidant

457
00:24:22.560 --> 00:24:25.960
attaching, meaning that, you know, he has a lot of things

458
00:24:25.960 --> 00:24:29.120
that have kept him from going forward. A lot of times we think

459
00:24:29.120 --> 00:24:31.640
we just haven't met the right person. But we dig deeper into

460
00:24:31.640 --> 00:24:35.920
that we find out that a lot of times we're protecting ourselves

461
00:24:35.920 --> 00:24:40.240
from being hurt from marrying the wrong person. Even Rodney,

462
00:24:40.280 --> 00:24:44.000
I'll tell you as a coach, even your attraction to much younger

463
00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:47.240
women, a lot of people would maybe say that's creepy. And

464
00:24:47.240 --> 00:24:49.880
that's why you know, you're a pervert, you know, you're dirty

465
00:24:49.880 --> 00:24:53.200
old man or whatever. But I really don't think that's true.

466
00:24:53.240 --> 00:24:55.040
First of all, I don't think that's true of you. But I will

467
00:24:55.040 --> 00:24:58.840
say, on my experience, when older men are attracted to

468
00:24:58.840 --> 00:24:59.680
younger women,

469
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.880
It's usually because they feel like older women

470
00:25:03.880 --> 00:25:05.360
are more manipulative.

471
00:25:05.360 --> 00:25:07.880
They've had bad experiences with women.

472
00:25:07.880 --> 00:25:10.800
They have mother wounds or sister wounds.

473
00:25:10.800 --> 00:25:14.280
They feel like women their age are too demanding.

474
00:25:14.280 --> 00:25:16.700
Like they don't have anything that they bring to the table

475
00:25:16.700 --> 00:25:20.820
for women who are expecting more from them.

476
00:25:20.820 --> 00:25:23.400
And so there might be some underlying reasons

477
00:25:23.400 --> 00:25:27.240
why there's an attraction there that you can dig into

478
00:25:27.240 --> 00:25:29.520
and get past the fear of that.

479
00:25:30.040 --> 00:25:33.280
And maybe attract someone

480
00:25:33.280 --> 00:25:36.040
that's gonna be right for you in this season.

481
00:25:36.040 --> 00:25:37.480
I know on the surface, you guys,

482
00:25:37.480 --> 00:25:39.720
we always look at things and people judge things

483
00:25:39.720 --> 00:25:41.440
and they think that they know what's happening.

484
00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:44.800
But a lot of times, really underneath anything

485
00:25:44.800 --> 00:25:47.440
that seems kind of different,

486
00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:50.920
like being attracted to someone 25, 30 years younger than you

487
00:25:50.920 --> 00:25:51.960
is fear.

488
00:25:53.320 --> 00:25:55.280
And so you wanna dig into that and see.

489
00:25:55.280 --> 00:25:57.720
And so if any of you,

490
00:25:59.560 --> 00:26:01.840
I think that we always have this idea

491
00:26:01.840 --> 00:26:04.840
that younger people are a lot more pliable.

492
00:26:04.840 --> 00:26:06.920
They're a lot more submissive.

493
00:26:06.920 --> 00:26:11.920
They're not as volatile or combative as maybe our peers

494
00:26:14.040 --> 00:26:16.800
or people that are closer to our age.

495
00:26:16.800 --> 00:26:18.120
They're not as jaded.

496
00:26:19.200 --> 00:26:21.200
But friends, that's just not true.

497
00:26:21.640 --> 00:26:25.200
I think part of it with the younger women too.

498
00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:26.040
Yeah.

499
00:26:26.040 --> 00:26:29.440
I find myself kind of in the same situation as him,

500
00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:34.120
but that's just because the younger females

501
00:26:34.120 --> 00:26:39.080
are more open, they're more friendly.

502
00:26:39.080 --> 00:26:40.920
They'll come up and talk to you.

503
00:26:40.920 --> 00:26:43.840
Whereas it seems like the ladies

504
00:26:43.840 --> 00:26:46.040
that are in their 40s and 50s

505
00:26:46.040 --> 00:26:48.760
are a lot more standoffish

506
00:26:49.760 --> 00:26:52.960
than the women that are in their 30s.

507
00:26:54.120 --> 00:26:57.960
I've had lots of women approach me that are in their 30s.

508
00:26:57.960 --> 00:27:00.560
I'm out on the beach boogie boarding or something.

509
00:27:00.560 --> 00:27:03.440
I've almost never had,

510
00:27:03.440 --> 00:27:05.480
I think one time I can think of one woman

511
00:27:05.480 --> 00:27:08.320
that approached me that she was probably in her mid 40s.

512
00:27:08.320 --> 00:27:12.880
But other than that, I've never, it's never happened.

513
00:27:14.920 --> 00:27:17.600
So I think that's part of it with the younger women too

514
00:27:17.600 --> 00:27:21.440
is they're more open to conversation

515
00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:24.120
and to get to know you.

516
00:27:24.120 --> 00:27:26.160
Even if they're not interested in you,

517
00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:29.000
they might not tell you that right away,

518
00:27:29.000 --> 00:27:33.880
but they're interested in the stories and your adventures

519
00:27:33.880 --> 00:27:36.180
because you have more experience than they do.

520
00:27:37.280 --> 00:27:38.120
Yeah.

521
00:27:38.120 --> 00:27:39.880
Hey, we lost Jackie for a minute.

522
00:27:39.880 --> 00:27:41.200
I'm sure she'll be back.

523
00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:43.100
But no, that's very true.

524
00:27:43.660 --> 00:27:48.660
Like, but you know, being approachable,

525
00:27:49.060 --> 00:27:51.940
like that's one of the things that Jackie coaches women

526
00:27:51.940 --> 00:27:53.460
about being approachable.

527
00:27:53.460 --> 00:27:57.300
And I say that, sorry, I'm just gonna jump in real quick

528
00:27:57.300 --> 00:28:00.040
because Jackie's on her way back.

529
00:28:00.040 --> 00:28:00.880
But-

530
00:28:02.020 --> 00:28:04.160
You just don't wanna listen to me anymore.

531
00:28:04.160 --> 00:28:09.160
Yeah, no, but like, would you guys agree with this?

532
00:28:10.120 --> 00:28:14.760
So I find for me, I see both dudes, oh, there she is.

533
00:28:14.760 --> 00:28:17.160
Both dudes and ladies, right?

534
00:28:17.160 --> 00:28:18.880
In their 40s, it seems to be

535
00:28:18.880 --> 00:28:21.560
where everybody falls off a cliff, right?

536
00:28:21.560 --> 00:28:24.960
And so, and I actually grew my goatee back

537
00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:26.600
because I was getting hit on by 20 year olds.

538
00:28:26.600 --> 00:28:29.480
And I was like, no, I can introduce you to my son.

539
00:28:29.480 --> 00:28:34.480
But like, but would you, like, but like Jackie was,

540
00:28:35.680 --> 00:28:37.760
sorry, hey, welcome back, Jackie.

541
00:28:37.800 --> 00:28:39.520
Like, why are you doing what you're doing?

542
00:28:39.520 --> 00:28:42.880
And, you know, I honestly have an aversion

543
00:28:42.880 --> 00:28:46.400
because my ex got cancer and really sick.

544
00:28:46.400 --> 00:28:51.160
And so, well, plus I also run,

545
00:28:51.160 --> 00:28:53.920
I mean, I've got like, what, 14% body fat

546
00:28:53.920 --> 00:28:55.840
and like, I keep really good.

547
00:28:55.840 --> 00:28:59.720
Most of the ladies that I know in my area aren't,

548
00:28:59.720 --> 00:29:00.560
I can't go dancing.

549
00:29:00.560 --> 00:29:03.460
We can't go doing the things that we wanna do, right?

550
00:29:03.460 --> 00:29:05.760
And like, so I wanna partner in somebody

551
00:29:05.760 --> 00:29:07.760
to go have fun with, not like,

552
00:29:08.680 --> 00:29:09.760
so I don't know about you guys.

553
00:29:09.760 --> 00:29:10.600
Like, I-

554
00:29:10.600 --> 00:29:12.480
Not like sit at home with all the time.

555
00:29:12.480 --> 00:29:15.240
Well, you guys, just so you guys know,

556
00:29:15.240 --> 00:29:17.400
I'm not, I'm not flowing with y'all

557
00:29:17.400 --> 00:29:19.560
cause I'm 51 and a half years old

558
00:29:19.560 --> 00:29:21.520
and I'm fricking hot, okay?

559
00:29:21.520 --> 00:29:22.360
Yeah, you are.

560
00:29:22.360 --> 00:29:24.680
I look good, I take care of myself.

561
00:29:24.680 --> 00:29:26.880
So you guys are, you know, you guys are,

562
00:29:26.880 --> 00:29:29.080
you guys need to open your mind and heart.

563
00:29:29.080 --> 00:29:30.400
What I was gonna say to Rodney is,

564
00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:32.680
is that when we surrender the pen to God

565
00:29:32.680 --> 00:29:34.480
and we say, hey God, you know,

566
00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:37.400
I know what I'm afraid of getting myself involved with.

567
00:29:37.400 --> 00:29:39.640
Like, you know, no one wants to live

568
00:29:39.640 --> 00:29:44.640
with a nagging, mad, jaded, you know, bitter woman.

569
00:29:45.160 --> 00:29:46.640
Nobody wants that, okay?

570
00:29:46.640 --> 00:29:47.440
I don't want that.

571
00:29:47.440 --> 00:29:49.840
I'm a woman and I don't want that, okay?

572
00:29:49.840 --> 00:29:52.000
So, but I will say this to you guys,

573
00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:54.720
that there are a lot of women, you know,

574
00:29:54.720 --> 00:29:56.080
that are not like that.

575
00:29:56.080 --> 00:29:58.160
They're kind, they've done their heart work,

576
00:29:58.160 --> 00:30:01.160
they look good, they've taken good care of themselves.

577
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.360
themselves and they're your peers and they're your equals in so many ways, mentally, emotionally,

578
00:30:05.360 --> 00:30:09.920
spiritually, maturity-wise. We don't have to gravitate towards younger people just because

579
00:30:09.920 --> 00:30:14.960
they're easier to control. We don't have to gravitate towards younger people just because

580
00:30:14.960 --> 00:30:20.160
we think that they're going to be nicer, sweeter, more friendly. But I want to tell you guys this,

581
00:30:20.720 --> 00:30:25.920
if you say to God, hey, I'm not going to be afraid, I'm not going to operate in fear,

582
00:30:25.920 --> 00:30:30.720
I'm going to surrender the pen to you. I know that you know what I need more than I know what I need.

583
00:30:30.720 --> 00:30:36.560
So I'm asking you to help my attraction and my desire be towards what's going to be healthy

584
00:30:36.560 --> 00:30:46.320
and good for me. Right. Well, one of my questions to myself was, if I was around more women that

585
00:30:46.320 --> 00:30:54.000
were more my age, would I still feel the same attraction towards younger women? Because what

586
00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:59.200
I was saying earlier when you disappeared is a lot of the times the younger women are coming up

587
00:31:01.200 --> 00:31:08.080
and starting the conversations. Yeah, but Kevin, just because they're starting a conversation

588
00:31:08.080 --> 00:31:14.480
doesn't mean that they want to date you. They could just be nice to you. I realize that. I'm

589
00:31:14.480 --> 00:31:22.080
not saying I'm chasing them. I'm just saying, I just might say that he was talking about attraction

590
00:31:22.080 --> 00:31:28.160
to younger women. They're a lot more, in my experience, they're a lot more open and a lot more

591
00:31:29.200 --> 00:31:35.200
outgoing than women that are in their later forties, as far as breaking the ice and starting

592
00:31:35.200 --> 00:31:40.240
a conversation with somebody that they'd never met. It is true. You guys have to remember that

593
00:31:41.920 --> 00:31:48.640
different generations learned different things. Yes. Gen X though, Gen X, which are the women

594
00:31:48.640 --> 00:31:54.960
who would be in their mid forties all the way to mid sixties. I think that most of us

595
00:31:54.960 --> 00:32:03.760
here are Gen X. Most of us are either Gen X or baby boomers. Gen X is the generation that still

596
00:32:03.760 --> 00:32:13.600
remembers meeting up in person. Gen X is the generation that remembers when all of our romantic

597
00:32:13.600 --> 00:32:20.320
endeavors were just people that we met out in the wild. But you could be dealing with women,

598
00:32:20.320 --> 00:32:24.960
especially at churches. Now, if you guys are talking about women that are friendlier at

599
00:32:24.960 --> 00:32:32.160
churches or the younger ones, well, older women, they could be a lot more reserved. Women that are

600
00:32:33.120 --> 00:32:39.440
fifties and up, they could be a lot more reserved inside of those spaces. Those spaces, those

601
00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:47.520
those Christian religious kind of spaces. And the other thing is, is that I don't think that

602
00:32:49.200 --> 00:32:54.640
women from that generation, 45 years old and up, I think that they want men to make the first move.

603
00:32:54.640 --> 00:32:58.800
They really want men to make the first move. I think younger women can kind of take it either

604
00:32:58.800 --> 00:33:05.200
way. But women that are 45 years and up, Gen X and older millennials, they really have been

605
00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:10.880
raised to believe that men are supposed to make the first move. If he's interested in you,

606
00:33:10.880 --> 00:33:16.160
then he's going to come up and talk to you. OK, and so if you guys are waiting for women

607
00:33:16.160 --> 00:33:19.680
to make the first move, if you're waiting for them to talk to you, to be friendly to you,

608
00:33:19.680 --> 00:33:23.760
to come over to you, if you want to talk to someone, go talk to them,

609
00:33:23.760 --> 00:33:29.360
because that generation is waiting for you to come to them. Chris, what do you got?

610
00:33:30.320 --> 00:33:36.320
Yeah, thank you, Jackie. It's good to virtually meet you. Yeah, you too. Where are you at?

611
00:33:37.360 --> 00:33:42.880
I live in Charlotte. I lived in Florida for 50 years. The Lord told me to move to Charlotte,

612
00:33:42.880 --> 00:33:50.960
and I did. Much like Ava. Awesome. I knew virtually nobody here. You don't? Well, I do now. I mean,

613
00:33:50.960 --> 00:33:56.160
I've been here about eight months now. OK, well, I have quite a few contacts in Charlotte.

614
00:33:56.160 --> 00:34:00.480
Yeah, well, actually, I found you through two women out of Raleigh.

615
00:34:01.360 --> 00:34:07.840
Oh, awesome. Yeah. I love to hear that. Yeah. That's how I got connected in here.

616
00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:13.760
But I'm just finishing the heart work book. I've completed the heart work book.

617
00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:19.760
Awesome. That's great. And have you ever been married? Are you divorced or widowed?

618
00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:22.719
Have you ever been married? Are you divorced or widowed?

619
00:34:23.679 --> 00:34:34.080
So I've been married twice. My first marriage lasted 12 years. The mother of my two daughters,

620
00:34:34.080 --> 00:34:43.840
and that ended probably 19 years ago. Maybe 20 years ago now, I would say.

621
00:34:44.639 --> 00:34:49.840
We have a great relationship now, you know, for the blessing of our family.

622
00:34:51.280 --> 00:34:54.480
You know, I buy her Christmas presents, and I get texts from her like,

623
00:34:54.480 --> 00:34:56.960
hey, remember that Jimmy Buffett concert, blah, blah, blah.

624
00:34:56.960 --> 00:34:59.840
So we really have a good, strong relationship now.

625
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:11.600
My second marriage was very short and I was single for about three, three and a half years

626
00:35:11.600 --> 00:35:14.760
between the two marriages.

627
00:35:14.760 --> 00:35:16.920
My second marriage only lasted about a year.

628
00:35:16.920 --> 00:35:22.920
She ended up, she was still in love with her first husband and I got drug through the mud

629
00:35:22.920 --> 00:35:32.280
and I got handed Proverbs 4.23, which is guard your heart for it's the wellspring of life.

630
00:35:32.280 --> 00:35:34.320
Did she get back together with her first husband?

631
00:35:34.320 --> 00:35:35.320
Yes.

632
00:35:35.320 --> 00:35:38.200
Well, she tried, but that didn't work out.

633
00:35:38.200 --> 00:35:42.760
She married another guy and then got divorced from him and she's a hot mess.

634
00:35:42.760 --> 00:35:43.760
But anyway.

635
00:35:43.760 --> 00:35:51.800
It sounds like you were dealing with a disordered attachment style, someone who wants to get

636
00:35:51.800 --> 00:35:55.560
married and they're excited about it, but then they get very avoidant and they start

637
00:35:55.560 --> 00:36:01.040
to dream about the perfect person or the one that got away or the one that they still are

638
00:36:01.040 --> 00:36:03.040
fantasizing about that.

639
00:36:03.040 --> 00:36:04.040
It's not reality.

640
00:36:04.040 --> 00:36:06.600
It wasn't a good relationship.

641
00:36:06.600 --> 00:36:07.600
That really wasn't it.

642
00:36:07.600 --> 00:36:14.480
She's a very manipulative NT personality type and that fits right.

643
00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:22.280
She had the ability to manipulate people in situations to her liking.

644
00:36:22.280 --> 00:36:23.720
That definitely fits disorders.

645
00:36:23.720 --> 00:36:25.800
A lot of them have borderline personality disorder.

646
00:36:25.800 --> 00:36:28.080
Let me ask you a question.

647
00:36:28.080 --> 00:36:32.680
Do you feel like, how long ago did your divorce happen from this second wife?

648
00:36:32.680 --> 00:36:34.240
We were married for about a year.

649
00:36:34.240 --> 00:36:36.240
It ended about 17 years ago.

650
00:36:36.240 --> 00:36:37.240
Okay.

651
00:36:37.240 --> 00:36:38.240
So it's still a long time ago.

652
00:36:38.240 --> 00:36:39.240
All right.

653
00:36:39.240 --> 00:36:40.240
Yeah.

654
00:36:40.240 --> 00:36:41.240
Okay.

655
00:36:41.240 --> 00:36:44.560
How much of what you went through in that relationship has affected you being able to

656
00:36:44.560 --> 00:36:48.440
trust a woman or to get into another marriage?

657
00:36:48.440 --> 00:36:55.000
Well, I basically dealt with infidelity in both my marriages in one way, shape or form,

658
00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.920
but God set me on the sidelines for a really long time.

659
00:36:59.920 --> 00:37:06.360
My last relationship ended about seven years ago and it was only about two years ago that

660
00:37:06.360 --> 00:37:12.000
I felt the nudge to try again.

661
00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:17.800
For the longest time, all I ever got was Psalms 46.10, which is be still and know I am God.

662
00:37:17.800 --> 00:37:21.600
I'm like, okay.

663
00:37:21.600 --> 00:37:28.720
So I've been dating for a couple of years now and this time around, it's actually been

664
00:37:28.720 --> 00:37:31.240
a really good experience for me.

665
00:37:31.240 --> 00:37:32.240
Awesome.

666
00:37:32.240 --> 00:37:33.240
Yeah.

667
00:37:33.240 --> 00:37:41.560
So I feel like one of the things that I've seen is through most of the women that I've

668
00:37:41.560 --> 00:37:46.840
actually met, I have learned something about myself.

669
00:37:46.840 --> 00:37:51.520
So I feel like the Lord has kind of had me in final preparations for whatever he has

670
00:37:51.520 --> 00:37:52.520
in store.

671
00:37:52.520 --> 00:37:53.520
That's great.

672
00:37:53.520 --> 00:37:58.600
And I'll give you a specific example.

673
00:37:58.600 --> 00:38:02.280
I have Circle 3 and Circle 12, basically.

674
00:38:02.280 --> 00:38:09.520
In my Circle 3, one of the guys is a retired counselor and so he walks it out with me.

675
00:38:09.520 --> 00:38:17.280
And so about eight months ago, I was telling him what was going on with this one woman

676
00:38:17.280 --> 00:38:22.040
and he goes, you know, Chris, you just don't really understand women very well.

677
00:38:22.040 --> 00:38:24.080
I was like, oh gee, thanks a lot.

678
00:38:24.080 --> 00:38:30.120
You know, he said, you got to read this book, men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

679
00:38:30.120 --> 00:38:33.160
So I was like, okay, well just to entertain him, I read the book and sure enough.

680
00:38:33.160 --> 00:38:36.360
You know, the guy that wrote that book was married seven times.

681
00:38:36.360 --> 00:38:38.480
Oh, was he?

682
00:38:38.480 --> 00:38:43.760
So hopefully, you know, Dr. John Gray, hopefully he knows women by now, but go ahead.

683
00:38:43.760 --> 00:38:44.760
Yeah.

684
00:38:44.760 --> 00:38:45.760
So anyway, I mean, he was right.

685
00:38:45.760 --> 00:38:50.680
I mean, there were things I just didn't realize about women that I needed to know.

686
00:38:50.680 --> 00:38:52.680
We're definitely different.

687
00:38:52.680 --> 00:38:56.200
We're definitely different than y'all, but we're better together.

688
00:38:56.200 --> 00:38:57.200
Okay.

689
00:38:57.200 --> 00:39:01.440
So, so would you say, since you're new to me, I'm going to ask you on a scale of one

690
00:39:01.440 --> 00:39:07.520
to 10, 10 being very marriage-minded and one being, you know, not, where would you say

691
00:39:07.520 --> 00:39:08.520
you are?

692
00:39:08.520 --> 00:39:09.520
I'm a 10.

693
00:39:09.520 --> 00:39:17.440
I mean, I'm all over it and I clarify that right up front, you know, my intention, you

694
00:39:17.440 --> 00:39:19.640
know, is to find a wife and.

695
00:39:19.640 --> 00:39:20.640
Okay.

696
00:39:20.640 --> 00:39:25.240
Well, listen, all of you guys that have finished your heart work or you're close to being done,

697
00:39:25.240 --> 00:39:28.560
you know, let's get, make, let's get you guys spotlighted.

698
00:39:28.560 --> 00:39:32.840
You know, I was telling some of you came in late, but I was just saying that we just had

699
00:39:32.840 --> 00:39:38.800
a couple guys from our program get married here in the last couple of months.

700
00:39:38.800 --> 00:39:44.000
And we have almost a hundred percent success rate with our guys as far as our guys, you

701
00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:46.600
know, finding the love of their life and getting married.

702
00:39:46.600 --> 00:39:49.840
So I just want to put that out there.

703
00:39:49.840 --> 00:39:52.720
We don't have a hundred percent success rate with our ladies because we have a lot of

704
00:39:52.720 --> 00:39:56.880
ladies that come through and, you know, they're either think there's nothing wrong with them.

705
00:39:56.880 --> 00:39:59.960
They're not willing to do the work or they just, you know, there's.

706
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.200
They're scared of their own shadow.

707
00:40:01.200 --> 00:40:02.360
They really don't trust men,

708
00:40:02.360 --> 00:40:03.600
and they never really get over that.

709
00:40:03.600 --> 00:40:06.280
So they don't all get married, but all of our guys do.

710
00:40:06.280 --> 00:40:09.320
I'm just trying to think if we've even ever had a guy

711
00:40:09.320 --> 00:40:10.760
that has not gotten married,

712
00:40:10.760 --> 00:40:12.560
and I really can't think of any.

713
00:40:12.560 --> 00:40:16.640
So let's get moving forward on you guys, all right?

714
00:40:16.640 --> 00:40:18.240
Yeah, thank you.

715
00:40:18.240 --> 00:40:19.580
Yeah, awesome.

716
00:40:19.580 --> 00:40:20.560
Mike, you have your hand up,

717
00:40:20.560 --> 00:40:22.440
but there was someone else that had their hand up,

718
00:40:22.440 --> 00:40:25.280
and maybe they got bored and left.

719
00:40:25.280 --> 00:40:26.720
Matthew, are you still there?

720
00:40:28.240 --> 00:40:29.920
Shoot, I think Matthew had to go.

721
00:40:29.920 --> 00:40:30.820
Is he working?

722
00:40:35.160 --> 00:40:36.040
Yeah, he's gone.

723
00:40:36.040 --> 00:40:37.320
Okay, no, wait.

724
00:40:37.320 --> 00:40:38.560
No, yeah, he's gone.

725
00:40:38.560 --> 00:40:39.480
All right, go ahead.

726
00:40:39.480 --> 00:40:41.240
I know a lot of times he joins from work,

727
00:40:41.240 --> 00:40:43.240
so I guess he's already gone.

728
00:40:43.240 --> 00:40:44.080
Yeah. What do you got?

729
00:40:44.080 --> 00:40:45.260
Mike, you got a question?

730
00:40:45.260 --> 00:40:48.560
So when you said something a little while back,

731
00:40:49.440 --> 00:40:52.360
like mid-40, like you were talking about 56,

732
00:40:52.360 --> 00:40:54.960
41-year-old, they don't wanna have kids.

733
00:40:54.960 --> 00:40:56.680
So- It's not that they don't wanna

734
00:40:56.680 --> 00:40:59.220
have kids, a lot of them just biologically can't

735
00:40:59.220 --> 00:41:00.860
by their late 40s.

736
00:41:00.860 --> 00:41:02.500
Okay, so that was when I was at,

737
00:41:02.500 --> 00:41:04.300
because I mean, I've been passing on anybody

738
00:41:04.300 --> 00:41:05.140
who wanted to have kids,

739
00:41:05.140 --> 00:41:07.140
because I can't have kids, right?

740
00:41:07.140 --> 00:41:08.900
But, and I am still around,

741
00:41:08.900 --> 00:41:10.260
because I haven't been dating.

742
00:41:10.260 --> 00:41:12.500
I only recently started dating again,

743
00:41:12.500 --> 00:41:15.100
and I can deal with anxious,

744
00:41:15.100 --> 00:41:16.540
I've had a couple anxious attachers,

745
00:41:16.540 --> 00:41:18.460
which is easier to deal with,

746
00:41:18.460 --> 00:41:19.620
because they actually engage,

747
00:41:19.620 --> 00:41:23.500
but I just was, like I've been on the apps.

748
00:41:23.500 --> 00:41:26.300
So I have this weird, I don't know if it's a weird thing,

749
00:41:26.300 --> 00:41:30.380
but I haven't been dating long distance,

750
00:41:30.380 --> 00:41:31.300
which is one of the problems,

751
00:41:31.300 --> 00:41:34.060
which is probably why I'm still around,

752
00:41:34.060 --> 00:41:37.460
and not many people can relocate.

753
00:41:39.180 --> 00:41:43.540
But like, you know, you're talking about predispositions.

754
00:41:43.540 --> 00:41:46.540
For some reason, I just have this heart

755
00:41:46.540 --> 00:41:49.400
for anytime there's a Ukrainian person around,

756
00:41:49.400 --> 00:41:54.100
I have this, I don't know, feeling like,

757
00:41:54.100 --> 00:41:55.780
because I really do wanna go to Ukraine,

758
00:41:56.540 --> 00:41:59.380
I feel like God's called me there in some ways.

759
00:41:59.380 --> 00:42:00.660
Can you just speak to that?

760
00:42:00.660 --> 00:42:01.960
Like when you have this,

761
00:42:03.340 --> 00:42:04.820
I don't even know how to describe it,

762
00:42:04.820 --> 00:42:09.180
but it's trying to get around that,

763
00:42:09.180 --> 00:42:10.940
and I haven't gone to just-

764
00:42:10.940 --> 00:42:12.980
We have a really beautiful woman from Ukraine

765
00:42:12.980 --> 00:42:14.740
that just joined the program.

766
00:42:14.740 --> 00:42:16.180
Oh yeah?

767
00:42:16.180 --> 00:42:17.220
Where's she located?

768
00:42:19.500 --> 00:42:20.540
That's a good question.

769
00:42:20.540 --> 00:42:21.580
Not Ukraine.

770
00:42:21.580 --> 00:42:22.820
Not Ukraine.

771
00:42:23.900 --> 00:42:25.080
She lives here.

772
00:42:26.660 --> 00:42:28.580
I don't remember off the top of my head,

773
00:42:28.580 --> 00:42:31.980
but I do know that she has a passion for her country

774
00:42:31.980 --> 00:42:33.460
and does hope to go back

775
00:42:33.460 --> 00:42:36.380
in a missionary-type way someday.

776
00:42:36.380 --> 00:42:37.220
Yeah, that was kind of,

777
00:42:37.220 --> 00:42:39.580
my heart was to go love on the kiddos there.

778
00:42:39.580 --> 00:42:40.660
So anyways, no, I just,

779
00:42:40.660 --> 00:42:42.020
but like, so is that something I,

780
00:42:42.020 --> 00:42:45.740
well, because I have been kind of putting that aside,

781
00:42:45.740 --> 00:42:47.100
because I didn't want to be,

782
00:42:49.500 --> 00:42:50.340
I didn't wanna limit,

783
00:42:50.340 --> 00:42:53.100
you know, like lists are things that limit you, right?

784
00:42:53.100 --> 00:42:55.740
So I just, you know, it's just a thought.

785
00:42:56.580 --> 00:42:57.420
You guys, there's a difference

786
00:42:57.420 --> 00:42:58.740
between non-negotiables, deal breakers,

787
00:42:58.740 --> 00:43:02.900
and preferences, or like a wishlist.

788
00:43:02.900 --> 00:43:04.820
And you guys need to know the difference.

789
00:43:04.820 --> 00:43:06.740
You know, my new book that is coming out,

790
00:43:06.740 --> 00:43:07.780
Modern Dating Sucks,

791
00:43:07.780 --> 00:43:10.420
it really talks about how to become your own matchmaker,

792
00:43:10.420 --> 00:43:13.740
and it talks about non-negotiables versus preferences.

793
00:43:13.740 --> 00:43:16.220
And your non-negotiable list

794
00:43:16.220 --> 00:43:18.580
shouldn't have more than 10 items on it.

795
00:43:18.580 --> 00:43:20.920
Let me just walk you through this for a second.

796
00:43:20.920 --> 00:43:23.620
So a non-negotiable is,

797
00:43:23.620 --> 00:43:28.420
if they had everything else that you like,

798
00:43:28.420 --> 00:43:30.300
but they didn't have this one thing,

799
00:43:30.300 --> 00:43:32.740
or they had this one thing, okay?

800
00:43:32.740 --> 00:43:33.700
Whatever your non-negotiable is.

801
00:43:33.700 --> 00:43:35.640
Maybe your non-negotiable is,

802
00:43:37.060 --> 00:43:38.820
you know, you can't relocate.

803
00:43:38.820 --> 00:43:42.500
So they can't relocate.

804
00:43:42.500 --> 00:43:44.140
So they have it, or they don't have it,

805
00:43:44.140 --> 00:43:46.180
depending on what your non-negotiable is.

806
00:43:46.180 --> 00:43:48.260
You would walk away from the relationship.

807
00:43:48.260 --> 00:43:49.540
Even if they were great,

808
00:43:49.540 --> 00:43:51.300
even she's a 10,

809
00:43:51.300 --> 00:43:54.940
but she doesn't have this non-negotiable thing.

810
00:43:54.940 --> 00:43:56.420
That's how you know it's a non-negotiable.

811
00:43:56.420 --> 00:43:58.180
That's how you know it's a deal breaker.

812
00:43:58.180 --> 00:43:59.300
They can have everything else,

813
00:43:59.300 --> 00:44:01.140
but if they do have that or don't have that,

814
00:44:01.140 --> 00:44:03.380
depending on what the non-negotiable is,

815
00:44:03.380 --> 00:44:04.540
you would still have to say,

816
00:44:04.540 --> 00:44:05.580
hey, it's been great,

817
00:44:05.580 --> 00:44:07.520
but I really don't think that we're on the same page.

818
00:44:07.520 --> 00:44:10.900
I don't think that, you know, we can go forward together.

819
00:44:10.900 --> 00:44:14.220
So that can be, you know, but it won't be a long list.

820
00:44:14.220 --> 00:44:16.200
It'll be a list that's less than 10 things,

821
00:44:16.200 --> 00:44:19.980
probably more likely more about five or six things.

822
00:44:19.980 --> 00:44:21.580
Now, if you have a non-negotiable list

823
00:44:21.580 --> 00:44:25.360
that has over 10 items on it, even 12, 15 items,

824
00:44:25.360 --> 00:44:28.740
you probably are now listing preferences as non-negotiables.

825
00:44:28.740 --> 00:44:30.440
Does that make sense to everybody?

826
00:44:31.940 --> 00:44:33.960
Preferences can be things like,

827
00:44:37.780 --> 00:44:39.940
I don't want someone with children.

828
00:44:39.940 --> 00:44:41.400
You're like, but Jackie, that's non-negotiable.

829
00:44:41.400 --> 00:44:42.240
No, it's not.

830
00:44:42.240 --> 00:44:43.540
It's a preference.

831
00:44:43.540 --> 00:44:45.860
Non-negotiables have to be from heaven, y'all.

832
00:44:45.860 --> 00:44:48.860
And they have to be legitimate deal breakers.

833
00:44:48.900 --> 00:44:50.800
I understand you don't wanna deal with someone's,

834
00:44:50.800 --> 00:44:51.860
you know, baby daddy,

835
00:44:51.860 --> 00:44:54.560
but you know, you're stronger than you think you are.

836
00:44:55.880 --> 00:44:59.340
Now, can God give you someone that has your fantasy list,

837
00:44:59.340 --> 00:45:00.180
your preferences?

838
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.680
as well, sure.

839
00:45:01.680 --> 00:45:04.280
But there needs to be a real good reason for it.

840
00:45:04.280 --> 00:45:05.920
And a lot of people block themselves

841
00:45:05.920 --> 00:45:08.400
with these preferences that they turn into non-negotiables.

842
00:45:08.400 --> 00:45:10.400
You guys tracking with me?

843
00:45:10.400 --> 00:45:12.080
Okay, all right.

844
00:45:12.080 --> 00:45:13.480
Who else has some questions?

845
00:45:13.480 --> 00:45:15.360
I see Hunter just emerged from a cocoon.

846
00:45:15.360 --> 00:45:16.200
I am late, I just got back from the lift.

847
00:45:16.200 --> 00:45:18.880
I know, but you seem like you just like came out

848
00:45:18.880 --> 00:45:22.520
of like a coma or something with the way you're acting.

849
00:45:22.520 --> 00:45:23.400
Are you all right?

850
00:45:23.400 --> 00:45:25.240
Yeah, it's just, I need to get my haircut

851
00:45:25.240 --> 00:45:26.880
before I gotta get this removed.

852
00:45:27.960 --> 00:45:28.960
What is it?

853
00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:31.520
Oh, I was from cauliflower ear.

854
00:45:31.520 --> 00:45:34.600
I got cauliflower ear from doing jujitsu.

855
00:45:34.600 --> 00:45:35.440
Oh.

856
00:45:35.440 --> 00:45:36.760
And I went to the hospital,

857
00:45:36.760 --> 00:45:39.160
got drained, but the blood keeps coming in.

858
00:45:39.160 --> 00:45:41.640
And the doctor, the specialist came in

859
00:45:41.640 --> 00:45:43.920
and said, got these two things,

860
00:45:43.920 --> 00:45:46.360
latched them together and stitched it all to my ear.

861
00:45:46.360 --> 00:45:48.440
And we're gonna try and make sure it heals

862
00:45:48.440 --> 00:45:50.080
and then it won't puff up.

863
00:45:50.080 --> 00:45:51.800
Okay, well, that's good.

864
00:45:51.800 --> 00:45:53.920
We don't want you to have a cauliflower for an ear.

865
00:45:53.920 --> 00:45:55.920
So I'm glad you're getting that taken care of.

866
00:45:55.920 --> 00:45:57.440
Well, it's gonna be scarred,

867
00:45:57.440 --> 00:46:01.120
but at least it won't be all poofy and big.

868
00:46:01.120 --> 00:46:02.800
Hey, listen, if you're gonna have a scar,

869
00:46:02.800 --> 00:46:04.760
your ear's the great place to have it.

870
00:46:04.760 --> 00:46:05.720
Yes.

871
00:46:05.720 --> 00:46:08.200
And I talked to a woman at a church

872
00:46:08.200 --> 00:46:11.520
that I traveled with.

873
00:46:11.520 --> 00:46:14.640
She's those same women I went to Greece and Malta with.

874
00:46:14.640 --> 00:46:15.600
Yeah.

875
00:46:15.600 --> 00:46:17.640
And I'm trying to balance in psychological.

876
00:46:17.640 --> 00:46:18.760
Rather than overthink it,

877
00:46:18.760 --> 00:46:20.760
just try to look the best mature way.

878
00:46:20.760 --> 00:46:22.400
I'm kind of caught in the middle.

879
00:46:22.400 --> 00:46:24.360
I don't wanna go out there

880
00:46:24.360 --> 00:46:26.200
and see it as an island in a desperate tone.

881
00:46:26.720 --> 00:46:28.400
That'll be there.

882
00:46:28.400 --> 00:46:29.600
But at the same time,

883
00:46:29.600 --> 00:46:32.320
they'll find out I'm attractive and turned off.

884
00:46:32.320 --> 00:46:33.160
But at the same time,

885
00:46:33.160 --> 00:46:35.280
I don't wanna sit at the wall and give up

886
00:46:35.280 --> 00:46:36.440
because I wanna figure it out.

887
00:46:36.440 --> 00:46:39.040
Just like in jiu-jitsu, you don't give up.

888
00:46:39.040 --> 00:46:39.920
That's right, Hunter.

889
00:46:39.920 --> 00:46:41.320
You're doing great.

890
00:46:41.320 --> 00:46:44.680
And I think you're gonna have a love story pretty soon here.

891
00:46:44.680 --> 00:46:46.680
I feel like my days are numbered.

892
00:46:46.680 --> 00:46:48.480
That's why I haven't been on the apps.

893
00:46:48.480 --> 00:46:51.000
Your days are not numbered.

894
00:46:51.000 --> 00:46:52.360
My days...

895
00:46:52.360 --> 00:46:53.960
Oh, your days of being single are numbered.

896
00:46:53.960 --> 00:46:56.400
I thought you meant like before you leave the earth.

897
00:46:56.400 --> 00:46:58.480
I don't know what you're talking about.

898
00:46:58.480 --> 00:47:01.200
Well, my days of being single could be numbered.

899
00:47:01.200 --> 00:47:02.840
But at the same time,

900
00:47:02.840 --> 00:47:06.000
what I can do is basically I don't wanna approach them.

901
00:47:06.000 --> 00:47:08.360
Fortunately, I was saying on the same aisle as this girl,

902
00:47:08.360 --> 00:47:09.880
but she offered, I was like, okay.

903
00:47:09.880 --> 00:47:11.680
But I don't wanna think about...

904
00:47:11.680 --> 00:47:13.280
But when she offered and we hugged at the end,

905
00:47:13.280 --> 00:47:16.200
I don't think it really was her developing any chemistry.

906
00:47:16.200 --> 00:47:18.120
It's just her personality,

907
00:47:18.120 --> 00:47:20.720
kind of personality I saw where it is.

908
00:47:20.720 --> 00:47:23.280
Is this the lady that's a lot older than you?

909
00:47:23.280 --> 00:47:24.680
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

910
00:47:24.680 --> 00:47:27.920
It's the ones that I went to Greece with.

911
00:47:27.920 --> 00:47:31.160
It was the ones that are around my age.

912
00:47:31.160 --> 00:47:33.240
Okay, all right, well.

913
00:47:33.240 --> 00:47:35.040
It's just, I'm trying to avoid...

914
00:47:35.040 --> 00:47:36.120
I wanna create a boundary

915
00:47:36.120 --> 00:47:38.880
where I don't wanna create unacquainted love,

916
00:47:38.880 --> 00:47:40.440
which will be hurtful.

917
00:47:40.440 --> 00:47:42.280
But at the same time, I'm not the kind to give up.

918
00:47:42.280 --> 00:47:43.880
I'm willing to socialize

919
00:47:43.880 --> 00:47:46.080
rather than stay behind and be antisocial.

920
00:47:46.080 --> 00:47:48.240
So I'm trying to draw a balance.

921
00:47:48.240 --> 00:47:49.200
I know, I'm proud of you.

922
00:47:49.200 --> 00:47:50.040
That's great.

923
00:47:50.040 --> 00:47:51.240
I'm gonna be in Jersey.

924
00:47:52.240 --> 00:47:53.920
You, Jesse, guys,

925
00:47:53.920 --> 00:47:58.120
I'm gonna be at King of Kings Church again for a conference

926
00:47:58.120 --> 00:48:00.440
based on my new book, Modern Dating Sucks.

927
00:48:00.440 --> 00:48:03.520
There's gonna be a big singles event there as well

928
00:48:03.520 --> 00:48:06.240
as the conference, second weekend of June.

929
00:48:07.240 --> 00:48:09.120
Oh, good.

930
00:48:09.120 --> 00:48:11.480
Mark your calendar, come on over.

931
00:48:12.880 --> 00:48:15.040
All right, so Hunter, it's good to see you.

932
00:48:15.040 --> 00:48:17.320
Abram, I haven't seen you in a long time

933
00:48:17.320 --> 00:48:18.360
except on Instagram.

934
00:48:18.360 --> 00:48:19.680
It's good to see you.

935
00:48:20.680 --> 00:48:23.040
All right, guys, so what do you think?

936
00:48:23.960 --> 00:48:26.960
I really wanna help you guys get moving forward.

937
00:48:26.960 --> 00:48:31.160
So does anyone want to hot seat for a couple minutes

938
00:48:31.160 --> 00:48:34.000
about where you think you might be stuck?

939
00:48:34.000 --> 00:48:36.000
Because listen, the odds are in your favor.

940
00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:37.520
There's a bazillion single women

941
00:48:37.520 --> 00:48:39.120
and they all wanna be married.

942
00:48:39.120 --> 00:48:41.280
So there really isn't any reason

943
00:48:41.280 --> 00:48:46.120
for any marriage-minded man to not have a lot of options.

944
00:48:46.120 --> 00:48:49.200
And so what do you guys think is keeping you back?

945
00:48:50.520 --> 00:48:52.880
I think one thing is keeping me back

946
00:48:52.880 --> 00:48:55.440
is I'm spending a lot of times in doing guy things

947
00:48:55.440 --> 00:48:57.880
and not so much finding common ground

948
00:48:57.880 --> 00:49:01.160
with what women and men do, except for Amazon.

949
00:49:01.160 --> 00:49:03.680
Okay, well, we need to change that, Hunter,

950
00:49:03.680 --> 00:49:05.720
because like you said, your days are numbered

951
00:49:05.720 --> 00:49:07.120
as a single man.

952
00:49:07.120 --> 00:49:12.120
And I think that you've grown a lot.

953
00:49:12.120 --> 00:49:12.960
I think you're ready.

954
00:49:12.960 --> 00:49:13.800
I really think you're ready

955
00:49:13.800 --> 00:49:15.720
to build a relationship with someone.

956
00:49:15.720 --> 00:49:18.600
So we need to spotlight you.

957
00:49:18.600 --> 00:49:20.120
We need to figure out what we need to do

958
00:49:20.120 --> 00:49:23.800
in order to possibly have some candidates

959
00:49:23.800 --> 00:49:26.000
come in to date you.

960
00:49:26.000 --> 00:49:28.000
Kenton, what do you got?

961
00:49:28.000 --> 00:49:30.200
Well, what I got here is that just for the guys,

962
00:49:30.200 --> 00:49:32.000
just to keep me accountable,

963
00:49:32.000 --> 00:49:33.360
one of the things that we were doing

964
00:49:33.360 --> 00:49:36.200
and talking about, the young lady that I am dating

965
00:49:36.200 --> 00:49:38.440
did commit finally.

966
00:49:38.440 --> 00:49:40.720
And so that we're moving forward,

967
00:49:40.720 --> 00:49:43.880
we will be taking the pre-marriage course

968
00:49:43.880 --> 00:49:45.760
that you guys are putting on here shortly,

969
00:49:45.760 --> 00:49:48.160
just to make sure we've got our-

970
00:49:48.720 --> 00:49:49.840
Yeah, when you say young lady,

971
00:49:49.840 --> 00:49:53.240
I appreciate that that's like a term of endearment,

972
00:49:53.240 --> 00:49:55.720
but she's not that much younger than you.

973
00:49:55.720 --> 00:49:57.480
She's only 21.

974
00:49:57.480 --> 00:49:58.320
No, not serious.

975
00:49:58.320 --> 00:49:59.440
She's 61.

976
00:49:59.440 --> 00:50:00.840
Yeah, that's what I thought.

977
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:07.200
Okay, I just making sure that I know who you're talking about. Okay. Yes, you do. Yeah, he's one of our members. Yes

978
00:50:07.200 --> 00:50:08.480
Okay, so yeah

979
00:50:08.480 --> 00:50:11.440
So in doing so the thing is right now that she's sort of stuck on

980
00:50:11.920 --> 00:50:16.220
And she is stuck is that we had to create a letter for her explaining to her children

981
00:50:16.520 --> 00:50:24.380
That she wants to move forward in life and she wants them to be happy for her because they weren't totally for me

982
00:50:25.040 --> 00:50:29.900
But she's come to the place that she realizes now that you don't like and why why are they not for you?

983
00:50:30.760 --> 00:50:32.760
well, one of them is a

984
00:50:32.940 --> 00:50:37.860
Toxic person that actually lives with her with a granddaughter and daughter and granddaughter

985
00:50:38.820 --> 00:50:40.700
Which is unfortunate?

986
00:50:40.700 --> 00:50:42.700
and so

987
00:50:42.700 --> 00:50:48.980
She just she gets great rent. So why should she want to have to move out now and and not to pay regular rent?

988
00:50:49.100 --> 00:50:50.880
so she's really a

989
00:50:50.880 --> 00:50:56.420
She didn't like me at the very beginning because I would take her mother away in so many words and she's well in her 30s

990
00:50:57.000 --> 00:50:58.240
Mm-hmm

991
00:50:58.240 --> 00:51:04.140
But we need to listen we need to watch this really carefully because you guys know that I've been to a lot of rodeos

992
00:51:04.160 --> 00:51:10.920
I've had a front-row seat to a lot of marriages now and the ones that have these types of dynamics and I knew that she

993
00:51:10.920 --> 00:51:12.920
Had some family dynamics

994
00:51:12.960 --> 00:51:18.160
but the ones that have these types of dynamics the the roads not smooth and

995
00:51:19.280 --> 00:51:22.960
And a lot of times, you know, I I'm not I'm not speaking

996
00:51:22.960 --> 00:51:24.020
This is any kind of word curse

997
00:51:24.020 --> 00:51:28.380
But a lot of times these these marriages if they make it to the altar actually end up divorced

998
00:51:28.660 --> 00:51:35.460
So we've really really got to do preliminary work to make sure this can go forward and she's not going to start feeling guilty

999
00:51:35.460 --> 00:51:38.900
And be manipulated and go backwards after you guys are married

1000
00:51:39.540 --> 00:51:43.100
Right. Yeah, that's why we're taking your guys's course there

1001
00:51:43.620 --> 00:51:48.780
The one about preventing divorces so we can we can hash that out with one of the counselors

1002
00:51:49.120 --> 00:51:52.600
Yes, you'll need to and she'll need to be really sure and once again

1003
00:51:52.600 --> 00:51:58.760
She's gonna have to put in really strong boundaries if you have manipulative family if you're taking care of family

1004
00:52:00.040 --> 00:52:06.600
Yeah, it's it's really it's a lot especially if they're your kids. It's not so bad if they're your siblings or your parents

1005
00:52:07.240 --> 00:52:11.600
But if they're your kids, it has a tendency. I've seen too many marriages and

1006
00:52:12.320 --> 00:52:14.320
over adult children

1007
00:52:14.940 --> 00:52:18.780
That's understandable, I think they can be difficult and yeah, it's a great lady

1008
00:52:18.780 --> 00:52:24.340
She's she as I said before I just gotta be careful because she is one of our members and I want to always speak

1009
00:52:24.340 --> 00:52:29.820
Well, it's just the point is that you took us you told us to go outside our perimeters

1010
00:52:29.820 --> 00:52:33.140
So what we like and I did found a lady that's outside of my perimeters

1011
00:52:33.140 --> 00:52:36.780
She's got a great heart and that's what really is attracted to me

1012
00:52:36.780 --> 00:52:40.420
She's got a very loving caring heart and which is something

1013
00:52:40.640 --> 00:52:45.280
I never had during our first marriage of 36 years was because it was an emotionless marriage

1014
00:52:45.400 --> 00:52:50.760
So it was nice to actually meet somebody who actually cares about somebody else. Yes. She's attractive

1015
00:52:52.080 --> 00:52:55.560
Very attractive. Yeah, she's she would it be classified as a trophy wife

1016
00:52:57.840 --> 00:53:00.240
She's definitely attractive so yeah

1017
00:53:01.240 --> 00:53:05.440
Awesome. All right. Well Kenton that's exciting. Are you guys gonna be in this next syllabus that's coming now?

1018
00:53:06.260 --> 00:53:11.020
Well, that's I just put in a request to find out when the next one was so that we can get registered for it

1019
00:53:11.020 --> 00:53:13.700
I haven't heard anything. I think it starts in like a week or so

1020
00:53:14.380 --> 00:53:19.940
Sorry, I think it starts in like a week. Yeah, it starts really soon. So hurry up with that for sure. That's good

1021
00:53:19.940 --> 00:53:20.340
That's good

1022
00:53:20.340 --> 00:53:25.060
I'm just gonna be up I'll have to take some of the courses what we're separated because I'm up north and I may miss

1023
00:53:25.940 --> 00:53:31.340
One of them out of all of them. How long is the course for by the way six weeks six weeks?

1024
00:53:31.340 --> 00:53:34.860
Yeah, I'll probably just miss out one because I work night shift that one time

1025
00:53:35.440 --> 00:53:36.820
Okay

1026
00:53:36.820 --> 00:53:41.220
All right, that sounds good. Well, that's positive. That's moving in the right direction and

1027
00:53:42.780 --> 00:53:48.880
And Abram, I mean, you know, oh I want to say this to all of you guys how many guys are Catholic

1028
00:53:49.780 --> 00:53:53.980
How many Catholic guys we got raise your hands? I know Abrams Catholic. Okay

1029
00:53:54.620 --> 00:53:58.620
I'm going to be on the Catholic singles network

1030
00:53:59.600 --> 00:54:05.920
So, I think it's gonna bring in a lot of a lot of Catholic singles to our community and into what we do

1031
00:54:06.360 --> 00:54:09.420
So that's gonna be great Catholics are really having their moment right now

1032
00:54:10.120 --> 00:54:13.980
And you know as far as in media and all the famous

1033
00:54:14.800 --> 00:54:18.240
Christians that are Catholics and all the things that are happening

1034
00:54:18.360 --> 00:54:22.500
So I think that that's awesome to bring, you know

1035
00:54:22.500 --> 00:54:27.560
More people in for those of you that really want to marry someone who practices

1036
00:54:28.500 --> 00:54:33.340
Catholicism with you that's we're gonna have a lot more people in that area. I

1037
00:54:37.420 --> 00:54:39.420
Yes, so

1038
00:54:41.340 --> 00:54:44.180
I'm open to any denomination, too

1039
00:54:45.340 --> 00:54:50.820
Well hunter. Thank you. I appreciate that and also can I ask you I forgot to put down I had a win

1040
00:54:51.660 --> 00:54:58.160
What's the win I went the entire month of March without looking at any pornography or any image whatsoever

1041
00:54:59.360 --> 00:55:01.360
wait

1042
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.360
We're at the end of April though.

1043
00:55:01.600 --> 00:55:02.120
Yeah.

1044
00:55:02.120 --> 00:55:09.480
And, and, uh, I also went, I go 72 out, well, it came back, but I went, but I went

1045
00:55:09.480 --> 00:55:14.840
72 straight and then I went an entire 10 days without any of it and 72 hours

1046
00:55:14.840 --> 00:55:17.200
without any self gratification or any lusts.

1047
00:55:17.600 --> 00:55:17.920
Okay.

1048
00:55:17.920 --> 00:55:20.720
So the whole month of March, that's amazing.

1049
00:55:20.760 --> 00:55:21.440
I'm proud of you.

1050
00:55:21.440 --> 00:55:22.040
That's great.

1051
00:55:22.040 --> 00:55:25.040
You had a little relapse, but you're back 10 days streak.

1052
00:55:25.560 --> 00:55:26.560
Clean, correct.

1053
00:55:26.600 --> 00:55:26.920
All right.

1054
00:55:27.360 --> 00:55:28.080
Well, that's good.

1055
00:55:28.280 --> 00:55:33.800
And, you know, um, for all of you that may be struggling with any kind of, you

1056
00:55:33.800 --> 00:55:40.080
know, uh, sexual type of sin, pornography, different things, you know, there are

1057
00:55:40.120 --> 00:55:45.840
lots of ways that you can hold yourself accountable, um, you know, uh, locking

1058
00:55:45.840 --> 00:55:50.040
down your, your social media, deleting social media.

1059
00:55:50.360 --> 00:55:53.920
Um, I know a guy who's not on social media at all, because let's face it.

1060
00:55:54.200 --> 00:55:59.240
There's just a lot of pornographic images on Facebook, on Instagram.

1061
00:55:59.240 --> 00:56:01.480
It's not just on porn sites anymore.

1062
00:56:01.480 --> 00:56:02.200
It's everywhere.

1063
00:56:02.760 --> 00:56:03.160
Okay.

1064
00:56:03.160 --> 00:56:08.600
So, uh, just getting off social media, if you feel like that is a, um, you know,

1065
00:56:08.600 --> 00:56:12.080
a really hard thing for you to abstain from.

1066
00:56:12.520 --> 00:56:16.920
And then, um, and then of course there's different, there's different

1067
00:56:16.920 --> 00:56:21.720
companies that can lock down your servers, your IP address, all the

1068
00:56:21.720 --> 00:56:26.160
different things where you can't access from your, your devices or from your

1069
00:56:26.160 --> 00:56:30.760
home, and not a lot of people are accessing, you know, porn just out and

1070
00:56:30.760 --> 00:56:35.160
about, especially if your devices are locked down, like your phone and

1071
00:56:35.160 --> 00:56:35.840
different things.

1072
00:56:36.120 --> 00:56:38.440
And so do that for yourself.

1073
00:56:38.520 --> 00:56:43.320
Another, another thing too, my problem wasn't saying no, that it is that

1074
00:56:43.520 --> 00:56:45.200
is saying no, it's wrong.

1075
00:56:45.240 --> 00:56:47.040
I have no problem repenting about it.

1076
00:56:47.040 --> 00:56:51.280
My problem is the trigger is what it was just a trigger of, and I just

1077
00:56:51.280 --> 00:56:53.880
identified an unsuspected one and I know what they are.

1078
00:56:54.480 --> 00:56:54.800
Okay.

1079
00:56:54.800 --> 00:56:55.560
That's awesome.

1080
00:56:55.960 --> 00:56:56.640
That's awesome.

1081
00:56:56.800 --> 00:57:00.920
A lot of people do use porn when they're depressed, when they're sad, when they

1082
00:57:01.320 --> 00:57:05.840
had a bad day, just like emotional eating, just like smoking, just like any other

1083
00:57:05.840 --> 00:57:07.440
addiction, you guys, all of it.

1084
00:57:07.440 --> 00:57:16.200
It's a, you know, it is a self gratifying dopamine neuroephedrine type of situation.

1085
00:57:16.560 --> 00:57:20.080
I don't know if David talks about that kind of stuff with you guys enough, but,

1086
00:57:20.600 --> 00:57:23.400
um, you guys should talk about it.

1087
00:57:23.880 --> 00:57:26.200
It isn't anything to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.

1088
00:57:26.240 --> 00:57:28.840
It is honestly, it's public enemy.

1089
00:57:28.840 --> 00:57:36.400
Number one, if you want my opinion, it's, it's, it's, it's a, it's beyond an

1090
00:57:36.400 --> 00:57:37.720
epidemic, it's a pandemic.

1091
00:57:37.760 --> 00:57:39.240
I mean, it's just insane.

1092
00:57:39.520 --> 00:57:43.400
I was just, I was on Facebook the other day and I was looking for, Oh, I was

1093
00:57:43.400 --> 00:57:47.200
looking for a post from one of the ladies in our group and I was scrolling down

1094
00:57:47.200 --> 00:57:51.720
inside of my own group, looking at all the different posts and then Facebook

1095
00:57:51.720 --> 00:57:53.440
started showing me all of these.

1096
00:57:53.840 --> 00:57:56.320
Um, I want to call them.

1097
00:57:57.800 --> 00:58:01.080
I used to work in television, so let me remember what the name of these are.

1098
00:58:01.120 --> 00:58:02.360
Oh, they're called verticals.

1099
00:58:02.840 --> 00:58:06.760
Have you guys seen these little like soap operas where it's like a

1100
00:58:06.760 --> 00:58:09.600
little soap opera type situation?

1101
00:58:09.960 --> 00:58:14.280
Uh, you click on a little video that's like bad acting, people acting and stuff.

1102
00:58:14.600 --> 00:58:18.320
So when I was scrolling down looking for one of my students posts, I started seeing

1103
00:58:18.320 --> 00:58:22.080
all these verticals, these little soap operas, and they were all porn.

1104
00:58:22.840 --> 00:58:25.600
I mean like porn, like people straight up having sex.

1105
00:58:25.600 --> 00:58:28.880
And I'm like, I'm on Facebook when this is happening.

1106
00:58:28.920 --> 00:58:32.080
And I'm just like, Whoa, this is getting really, really, really bad.

1107
00:58:32.080 --> 00:58:36.280
And with AI, you guys with AI, it's like, it's, it's even getting worse.

1108
00:58:36.280 --> 00:58:39.960
And a lot of people will probably tell themselves that it's not pornography

1109
00:58:39.960 --> 00:58:41.360
because it's not real people.

1110
00:58:41.920 --> 00:58:44.240
And then they'll feel okay about watching it because they'll be

1111
00:58:44.240 --> 00:58:45.640
like, Oh, it's like a cartoon.

1112
00:58:45.880 --> 00:58:48.000
You know, no one was harmed in the making of this.

1113
00:58:48.000 --> 00:58:48.960
It's not real people.

1114
00:58:48.960 --> 00:58:51.000
They're not being trafficked, you know?

1115
00:58:51.000 --> 00:58:56.320
So if you start having those kinds of thoughts about non-human AI type

1116
00:58:56.320 --> 00:59:00.000
depictions of pornography, just remember your brain doesn't know the difference

1117
00:59:00.240 --> 00:59:04.320
between it being real people or not real people, and it's still burning out those

1118
00:59:04.640 --> 00:59:07.080
emotional pleasure centers of your brain.

1119
00:59:07.080 --> 00:59:10.000
And that's going to keep you from being able to be emotionally

1120
00:59:10.000 --> 00:59:12.040
available in a relationship.

1121
00:59:12.320 --> 00:59:14.920
It'll also keep you in a shame sin cycle.

1122
00:59:15.920 --> 00:59:18.080
So do not fall into the AI trap.

1123
00:59:18.120 --> 00:59:21.280
Yes, they may not be real people, but it's real porn.

1124
00:59:21.680 --> 00:59:23.000
And it's not realistic.

1125
00:59:23.200 --> 00:59:25.480
And the figures aren't realistic at all.

1126
00:59:26.040 --> 00:59:31.160
Well, some of them are, because I saw some that I knew was AI and I was like,

1127
00:59:31.200 --> 00:59:33.080
Whoa, that's messed up.

1128
00:59:33.680 --> 00:59:38.920
So, um, anyway, so you guys, if you know, you have an issue with that and that

1129
00:59:38.920 --> 00:59:45.360
is like your addiction, uh, of choice, so to speak, then there's lots of things

1130
00:59:45.360 --> 00:59:46.880
you can do to get free from that.

1131
00:59:46.880 --> 00:59:47.840
So we're proud of you, Hunter.

1132
00:59:47.840 --> 00:59:48.400
Keep going.

1133
00:59:48.720 --> 00:59:50.560
And I'll, I'll keep you informed.

1134
00:59:50.600 --> 00:59:53.200
If you're going to be on here next Monday, I'll keep you informed.

1135
00:59:53.200 --> 00:59:58.560
And how I broke the seven, two hours to nineties right after today, it'll be 96

1136
00:59:58.560 --> 00:59:59.120
hours.

1137
00:59:59.480 --> 00:59:59.920
Well, just.

1138
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.000
Knowing your triggers and knowing what causes you to spiral into that, that's the most important

1139
01:00:05.000 --> 01:00:06.000
thing, Hunter.

1140
01:00:06.000 --> 01:00:07.000
Abram, what do you got?

1141
01:00:07.000 --> 01:00:08.000
Oh, you're still muted.

1142
01:00:08.000 --> 01:00:09.000
Oh, can you guys hear me?

1143
01:00:09.000 --> 01:00:10.000
I'm sorry.

1144
01:00:10.000 --> 01:00:11.000
Yeah.

1145
01:00:11.000 --> 01:00:12.000
Now we can hear you.

1146
01:00:12.000 --> 01:00:13.000
Yeah.

1147
01:00:13.000 --> 01:00:24.760
So I've been attending church for months now, but I've been going to two churches.

1148
01:00:24.760 --> 01:00:31.720
I've been going to a non-denominational with my buddy who is kind of like, he's kind of

1149
01:00:31.720 --> 01:00:35.520
like reactivated his church going ways and with his family.

1150
01:00:35.520 --> 01:00:41.040
And so I'll go to church with him because he's, to me, he's kind of like a, he's like,

1151
01:00:41.040 --> 01:00:43.960
you know, kind of a, like a baby in his faith, right?

1152
01:00:43.960 --> 01:00:48.640
So I don't want to, I don't want to fight with him about the theology and all the things,

1153
01:00:48.640 --> 01:00:50.560
you know, like I'm just happy he's going to church with his family.

1154
01:00:50.560 --> 01:00:51.560
It's awesome.

1155
01:00:51.560 --> 01:00:53.680
And so I got to go with him, but then I'll like go to church.

1156
01:00:53.680 --> 01:00:56.360
I'll go to Catholic mass, you know, after.

1157
01:00:56.360 --> 01:00:58.560
And so I'm trying to think to myself, like, how do I navigate this?

1158
01:00:58.560 --> 01:01:03.240
If I meet a nice, you know, Christian lady at his church, cause he's one of these friends

1159
01:01:03.240 --> 01:01:08.600
that he's always looking out for me and he's trying to always, you know, he thinks of me

1160
01:01:08.600 --> 01:01:10.560
and I'm trying to think of women.

1161
01:01:10.560 --> 01:01:14.720
And so there's like women at the non-denominational church.

1162
01:01:14.720 --> 01:01:22.360
And so I'm trying to think of future, like, you know, can I find a lady that's okay with

1163
01:01:22.360 --> 01:01:28.440
me going to my Catholic mass, but still doing all the other things if that's going to be

1164
01:01:28.440 --> 01:01:29.440
a problem or not.

1165
01:01:29.440 --> 01:01:32.440
And so, you know, I don't, I'm not really here to convert you.

1166
01:01:32.440 --> 01:01:37.280
My mom was a non-denominational spirit filled Christian married to a Catholic.

1167
01:01:37.280 --> 01:01:42.800
And I think that, you know, what usually happens in that situation that what you're talking

1168
01:01:42.800 --> 01:01:50.000
about is that if you guys were both sincere Christ followers, I think that a hybrid of

1169
01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:56.120
spiritual expression begins to happen where, you know, you find what works for you guys.

1170
01:01:56.120 --> 01:02:01.280
You know, a lot of Catholics really love the pomp and circumstance.

1171
01:02:01.280 --> 01:02:02.360
They love the liturgy.

1172
01:02:02.360 --> 01:02:07.160
They love the, you know, the rituals of the Catholic church.

1173
01:02:07.160 --> 01:02:08.160
Yeah.

1174
01:02:08.160 --> 01:02:09.160
Sacraments.

1175
01:02:09.160 --> 01:02:10.160
Yeah.

1176
01:02:10.160 --> 01:02:11.160
They know what to expect.

1177
01:02:11.160 --> 01:02:12.960
It's always the same, you know, kind of thing.

1178
01:02:12.960 --> 01:02:19.920
And non-denominational churches can be a little bit more unpredictable.

1179
01:02:19.920 --> 01:02:23.120
That can be bad and good sometimes, depending on what's happening.

1180
01:02:23.120 --> 01:02:29.360
But I think that you can find something that is, you know, something that you can share

1181
01:02:29.360 --> 01:02:30.360
together.

1182
01:02:30.360 --> 01:02:34.120
And then, you know, I do think that couples should attend the same church.

1183
01:02:34.120 --> 01:02:35.120
I really do.

1184
01:02:35.120 --> 01:02:39.680
But it doesn't mean that you can't get an extra mass here and there when you want, when

1185
01:02:39.680 --> 01:02:42.000
you want to go get your, get your mass fixed.

1186
01:02:42.000 --> 01:02:43.000
Yeah.

1187
01:02:43.000 --> 01:02:47.240
I'd be willing to go with her and go with our family to her church, let's just say.

1188
01:02:47.240 --> 01:02:48.240
There you go.

1189
01:02:48.320 --> 01:02:51.600
I still gotta, I gotta get my, I gotta get my stuff in.

1190
01:02:51.600 --> 01:02:52.600
You gotta get it in.

1191
01:02:52.600 --> 01:02:53.600
Yeah.

1192
01:02:53.600 --> 01:02:59.120
And so how do you, I mean, I'd basically explain it to them just like I explained it to you,

1193
01:02:59.120 --> 01:03:00.120
to everyone here.

1194
01:03:00.120 --> 01:03:01.120
I'd say it like that.

1195
01:03:01.120 --> 01:03:02.120
Yeah.

1196
01:03:02.120 --> 01:03:05.200
I don't know if that's a, if I could say that any better.

1197
01:03:05.200 --> 01:03:06.200
I think that's great.

1198
01:03:06.200 --> 01:03:07.200
I'm not opposed.

1199
01:03:07.200 --> 01:03:11.160
I think that shows that you're very spiritually open-minded and that you don't, you're not

1200
01:03:11.160 --> 01:03:12.160
dogmatic.

1201
01:03:12.160 --> 01:03:14.560
You don't think one way is the only way.

1202
01:03:14.560 --> 01:03:15.560
I think that's good.

1203
01:03:15.560 --> 01:03:16.560
I think that's a good trait.

1204
01:03:16.560 --> 01:03:17.560
Yeah.

1205
01:03:17.880 --> 01:03:21.800
Yeah, I'll just be dogmatic in my own mind, you know, and I don't have to worry everyone

1206
01:03:21.800 --> 01:03:24.320
else about all this stuff, you know?

1207
01:03:24.320 --> 01:03:25.320
Yeah.

1208
01:03:25.320 --> 01:03:26.320
Okay, cool.

1209
01:03:26.320 --> 01:03:27.320
Thanks for that clarification.

1210
01:03:27.320 --> 01:03:28.320
I appreciate it.

1211
01:03:28.320 --> 01:03:29.320
Yeah.

1212
01:03:29.320 --> 01:03:30.320
Yeah.

1213
01:03:30.320 --> 01:03:31.320
Yeah.

1214
01:03:31.320 --> 01:03:32.320
Yeah.

1215
01:03:32.320 --> 01:03:33.320
I'm glad that you're, I'm glad you're going with your buddy.

1216
01:03:33.320 --> 01:03:34.320
That's cool.

1217
01:03:34.320 --> 01:03:37.240
And you know, if he's your wingman, then you probably are going to meet someone and I love

1218
01:03:37.240 --> 01:03:38.240
that.

1219
01:03:38.240 --> 01:03:39.240
Yeah.

1220
01:03:39.240 --> 01:03:43.040
Guys, that's what my new book is all about is how can we bring back the village?

1221
01:03:43.040 --> 01:03:45.080
How can we bring back the village?

1222
01:03:45.080 --> 01:03:47.360
You know, everyone's worried about where's their person?

1223
01:03:48.160 --> 01:03:50.480
We need to be concerned about where somebody else's person is too.

1224
01:03:50.480 --> 01:03:54.840
We have to work together if we want to end this loneliness epidemic.

1225
01:03:54.840 --> 01:03:58.160
We have to work together if we want to see God's single sons and daughters married.

1226
01:03:58.160 --> 01:03:59.160
We have to.

1227
01:03:59.160 --> 01:04:01.200
It can't just be one person like me.

1228
01:04:01.200 --> 01:04:07.640
I know there's more people like me that are matchmakers out there, but we can all be matchmakers.

1229
01:04:07.640 --> 01:04:08.640
We can.

1230
01:04:08.640 --> 01:04:10.400
We can all be wingmen and women.

1231
01:04:10.400 --> 01:04:14.000
And so bringing back the village is what this book is all about and how to think like a

1232
01:04:14.000 --> 01:04:18.520
matchmaker and how to be your own matchmaker and how to be a matchmaker for others, how

1233
01:04:18.520 --> 01:04:24.040
to decide whether or not someone is actually ready to be married or not, if you know how

1234
01:04:24.040 --> 01:04:27.200
to build your non-negotiable list so that you can tell people what you're really looking

1235
01:04:27.200 --> 01:04:28.200
for.

1236
01:04:28.200 --> 01:04:29.200
It's a really, it's a field guide.

1237
01:04:29.200 --> 01:04:32.040
I think you guys are really going to like this book.

1238
01:04:32.040 --> 01:04:39.200
It's very practical, but also very supernatural in the way that now don't get offended.

1239
01:04:39.200 --> 01:04:42.940
It doesn't say really a lot of things about God at all, but because that's not the purpose

1240
01:04:42.940 --> 01:04:43.940
of it.

1241
01:04:43.940 --> 01:04:48.700
The purpose of it is to take everything that I've learned in the last six years of helping

1242
01:04:48.700 --> 01:04:53.120
over 1600 people get married and put it in a book of what works and what doesn't and

1243
01:04:53.120 --> 01:04:57.020
what you should be doing and looking for when finding a mate.

1244
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:01.440
doesn't have a bunch of scripture in it,

1245
01:05:01.440 --> 01:05:02.560
because it's just for everybody.

1246
01:05:02.560 --> 01:05:05.600
I wanted to write a book that wasn't just for Christians,

1247
01:05:05.600 --> 01:05:06.880
but for all single people.

1248
01:05:06.880 --> 01:05:12.600
And hopefully, we'll pull in some pre-believers

1249
01:05:12.600 --> 01:05:13.520
into the movement.

1250
01:05:13.520 --> 01:05:16.960
And they will meet Jesus, and that'll be cool.

1251
01:05:16.960 --> 01:05:19.000
Amen.

1252
01:05:19.000 --> 01:05:21.600
Got something, Jesse?

1253
01:05:21.600 --> 01:05:24.680
I was just saying amen, but it's good to see you again, Jackie.

1254
01:05:24.680 --> 01:05:26.040
Yes, how are you?

1255
01:05:26.040 --> 01:05:29.880
Are you still dating your neighbor?

1256
01:05:29.960 --> 01:05:30.960
No.

1257
01:05:30.960 --> 01:05:32.080
OK.

1258
01:05:32.080 --> 01:05:34.280
It's been a long time since we caught up.

1259
01:05:34.280 --> 01:05:36.120
Yeah, never dating.

1260
01:05:36.120 --> 01:05:39.560
Situationship, yes, we did have that.

1261
01:05:39.560 --> 01:05:42.640
But yeah, I don't know.

1262
01:05:42.640 --> 01:05:43.520
I'm doing well.

1263
01:05:43.520 --> 01:05:44.160
I'm doing well.

1264
01:05:44.160 --> 01:05:50.080
I feel just in a good place.

1265
01:05:50.080 --> 01:05:53.480
I'm taking everything slow, just in general,

1266
01:05:53.480 --> 01:05:55.240
with everything in life right now.

1267
01:05:55.240 --> 01:05:57.080
Business is good.

1268
01:05:57.080 --> 01:05:59.080
The kids are doing well.

1269
01:05:59.080 --> 01:06:02.480
But it requires focus and attention.

1270
01:06:02.480 --> 01:06:08.560
And I'm just thinking about maybe just being intentional.

1271
01:06:08.560 --> 01:06:15.160
I just feel like the one thing I feel like is, yeah,

1272
01:06:15.160 --> 01:06:18.600
I feel like I need to really enjoy this,

1273
01:06:18.600 --> 01:06:23.080
get the most out of the season that I'm in right now,

1274
01:06:23.080 --> 01:06:25.520
connecting with the Lord and going deep with the Lord.

1275
01:06:25.520 --> 01:06:29.400
And I do believe that, I don't know,

1276
01:06:29.400 --> 01:06:36.440
I just feel like this is probably my last year single.

1277
01:06:36.440 --> 01:06:38.160
I'm 45.

1278
01:06:38.160 --> 01:06:42.840
So I think at some point in my 46th year,

1279
01:06:42.840 --> 01:06:45.960
I think I'll probably, if not get married,

1280
01:06:45.960 --> 01:06:49.200
at least be with someone that would lead to that further

1281
01:06:49.200 --> 01:06:50.960
down the road.

1282
01:06:50.960 --> 01:06:56.120
So I just feel like I'm not in a hurry, but I'm also,

1283
01:06:56.120 --> 01:06:57.120
I'm still open.

1284
01:06:57.120 --> 01:06:58.920
I'm still talking to people here and there.

1285
01:06:58.920 --> 01:07:01.720
But I'm not super hungry to, like,

1286
01:07:01.720 --> 01:07:08.040
I don't have the same energy or priority

1287
01:07:08.040 --> 01:07:12.800
to get out of the season as I felt even a year ago.

1288
01:07:12.800 --> 01:07:17.400
I just feel a little bit more content in the season

1289
01:07:17.400 --> 01:07:19.000
that I'm in right now.

1290
01:07:19.000 --> 01:07:20.080
Yeah.

1291
01:07:20.080 --> 01:07:23.400
I want to let you know that that is very, very normal

1292
01:07:23.400 --> 01:07:25.600
for widowers.

1293
01:07:25.600 --> 01:07:27.520
And your wife passed very quickly

1294
01:07:27.520 --> 01:07:33.400
without really any kind of notice, any long-term notice.

1295
01:07:33.400 --> 01:07:34.800
And so it's natural.

1296
01:07:34.800 --> 01:07:37.360
The kind of pendulum swing that you experience right

1297
01:07:37.360 --> 01:07:39.920
after she passed is very, very, very normal.

1298
01:07:39.920 --> 01:07:44.480
And then this kind of balancing and this stability

1299
01:07:44.480 --> 01:07:47.200
that has also come to you is also,

1300
01:07:47.200 --> 01:07:49.040
I've seen that happen a lot.

1301
01:07:49.040 --> 01:07:50.400
And that's a good thing.

1302
01:07:50.400 --> 01:07:53.320
And that means that when you do choose, and you will,

1303
01:07:53.320 --> 01:07:55.360
and when you do choose, that you're

1304
01:07:55.360 --> 01:07:58.520
going to choose from a really good heart and head place.

1305
01:07:58.520 --> 01:08:01.400
And it's going to be the right timing for you and your kids.

1306
01:08:01.400 --> 01:08:03.560
And it's going to be great.

1307
01:08:03.560 --> 01:08:04.520
Yeah.

1308
01:08:04.520 --> 01:08:05.480
Thanks.

1309
01:08:05.480 --> 01:08:06.280
Yeah.

1310
01:08:06.280 --> 01:08:07.280
I'm excited for you.

1311
01:08:07.280 --> 01:08:09.680
And stay open, because a lot of times, you guys,

1312
01:08:09.680 --> 01:08:11.640
we, and gentlemen, all of you that

1313
01:08:11.640 --> 01:08:15.920
think that just like Jesse, it's like, hey, I'm in a good place.

1314
01:08:15.920 --> 01:08:18.200
I'm content right now.

1315
01:08:19.080 --> 01:08:20.240
He used the word hungry.

1316
01:08:20.240 --> 01:08:25.080
So you're not going out here trying to make it happen.

1317
01:08:25.080 --> 01:08:26.520
But you're not closed off to it.

1318
01:08:26.520 --> 01:08:28.520
Just make sure that you're not closed off to it.

1319
01:08:28.520 --> 01:08:31.560
Because oftentimes, God sees us ready in a way

1320
01:08:31.560 --> 01:08:34.000
that we don't see ourselves as ready.

1321
01:08:34.000 --> 01:08:37.040
And even if we're not actively pursuing something,

1322
01:08:37.040 --> 01:08:41.160
it doesn't mean that it can't just kind of show up.

1323
01:08:41.160 --> 01:08:44.720
And oftentimes, that is how it happens.

1324
01:08:44.720 --> 01:08:47.240
So just be open.

1325
01:08:47.240 --> 01:08:52.960
He was forecasting meeting someone next year in 27.

1326
01:08:52.960 --> 01:08:54.880
But it could be this year.

1327
01:08:54.880 --> 01:08:55.560
No, I agree.

1328
01:08:55.560 --> 01:08:56.080
I agree.

1329
01:08:56.080 --> 01:08:58.200
I'm not saying anything.

1330
01:08:58.200 --> 01:08:59.399
I can definitely meet someone.

1331
01:08:59.399 --> 01:09:03.720
And then maybe, anyhow, I just feel like, sorry.

1332
01:09:03.720 --> 01:09:04.600
Yeah, correct.

1333
01:09:04.600 --> 01:09:05.120
No, no.

1334
01:09:05.120 --> 01:09:06.359
I know that you're not saying it.

1335
01:09:06.359 --> 01:09:08.359
But I just want to make sure that everyone else,

1336
01:09:08.359 --> 01:09:09.760
it's just kind of a good example.

1337
01:09:09.760 --> 01:09:10.359
Yeah.

1338
01:09:10.359 --> 01:09:13.399
That's what I was trying to say, that middle ground.

1339
01:09:13.399 --> 01:09:16.319
Yeah.

1340
01:09:16.319 --> 01:09:18.160
I hope we see you at the conference.

1341
01:09:18.160 --> 01:09:21.439
When does your book come out?

1342
01:09:21.439 --> 01:09:22.640
It's at the printer now.

1343
01:09:22.640 --> 01:09:26.040
So we're hoping to have some sample copies tomorrow,

1344
01:09:26.040 --> 01:09:27.040
actually.

1345
01:09:27.040 --> 01:09:30.720
And if everything looks good, as far as the typesetting

1346
01:09:30.720 --> 01:09:36.319
and all the things, then we'll put in the pre-sale order.

1347
01:09:36.319 --> 01:09:39.520
And we should have the pre-sale order by this Friday.

1348
01:09:39.520 --> 01:09:42.880
And we'll be mailing out the pre-sale books this weekend.

1349
01:09:42.880 --> 01:09:48.200
Then the book will be available to the public via booksellers

1350
01:09:48.200 --> 01:09:50.279
at the beginning of May.

1351
01:09:50.279 --> 01:09:52.000
Great.

1352
01:09:52.000 --> 01:09:52.479
Yeah.

1353
01:09:52.479 --> 01:09:54.680
So there's still time to pre-sale, you guys,

1354
01:09:54.680 --> 01:09:55.520
on my website.

1355
01:09:55.520 --> 01:09:58.040
If you haven't, it's $25, and you get a whole bunch

1356
01:09:58.040 --> 01:10:00.160
of perks with it.

1357
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.040
Um, if you want to get the book in pre-sale, we'll probably be

1358
01:10:03.040 --> 01:10:04.320
mailing those out this weekend.

1359
01:10:04.320 --> 01:10:06.520
So you'll be in a good timing.

1360
01:10:08.320 --> 01:10:10.280
Your website is JackieDorman.com.

1361
01:10:10.520 --> 01:10:13.800
It is JackieDorman.com.

1362
01:10:14.360 --> 01:10:14.720
All right.

1363
01:10:14.720 --> 01:10:17.280
You guys, I want to get you guys moving forward.

1364
01:10:17.600 --> 01:10:18.000
What?

1365
01:10:18.160 --> 01:10:18.880
I'm sorry, Kevin.

1366
01:10:19.320 --> 01:10:19.520
What?

1367
01:10:19.520 --> 01:10:21.800
I'm just saying I had picked up a book already.

1368
01:10:21.800 --> 01:10:24.200
Hope they got the, uh, on the mailing list.

1369
01:10:25.280 --> 01:10:25.680
Oh yeah.

1370
01:10:25.800 --> 01:10:28.600
So, um, I want to get you guys moving forward.

1371
01:10:28.640 --> 01:10:36.040
So, uh, we need to, we need to be really intentional about, uh, momentum in this

1372
01:10:36.040 --> 01:10:39.240
year and moving forward towards anything that you want, like if you're like,

1373
01:10:39.240 --> 01:10:42.400
Jesse, like, Hey, you know, I'm really content, you know, I'm not saying that

1374
01:10:42.400 --> 01:10:46.160
God can't send me anyone, but I'm not actively pursuing or looking, but there's

1375
01:10:46.160 --> 01:10:52.480
something else that you want to accomplish, uh, really want to focus on that, focus

1376
01:10:52.480 --> 01:10:56.920
on any deeper healing, anything that you think is still getting in your way, just

1377
01:10:56.920 --> 01:11:00.960
in life, in your identity, in your self-esteem, if you're still dealing with

1378
01:11:00.960 --> 01:11:04.440
any kind of addiction that keeps popping up, whether it's porn or something else,

1379
01:11:04.760 --> 01:11:10.480
definitely want this to be a time where we're getting beyond that stuff.

1380
01:11:11.440 --> 01:11:14.760
I really do believe that Supernatural Saturday message about God connecting

1381
01:11:14.760 --> 01:11:18.400
dots and things beginning to make sense and things beginning to come together.

1382
01:11:18.400 --> 01:11:22.840
If you did not hear this week's Supernatural Saturday, so a couple, you

1383
01:11:22.840 --> 01:11:27.240
know, a couple of days ago, Saturday and the previous week, definitely listen to

1384
01:11:27.240 --> 01:11:31.880
those and replay in your group, in your app group, there's replays because they

1385
01:11:31.880 --> 01:11:33.800
are both really powerful words from the Lord.

1386
01:11:33.800 --> 01:11:37.520
There actually was a word of prophecy that came forth in the first one.

1387
01:11:38.120 --> 01:11:43.680
Um, and then I really dig into breaking that word down in this week's and it was

1388
01:11:44.000 --> 01:11:51.000
really, it was very, very, um, powerful to me and, um, and to, and a lot of people

1389
01:11:51.000 --> 01:11:52.760
have weighed in that it was powerful to them.

1390
01:11:53.280 --> 01:11:55.240
So let's stay on the same page with God.

1391
01:11:55.320 --> 01:11:56.320
Big things are happening.

1392
01:11:56.320 --> 01:11:57.360
Good things are happening.

1393
01:11:57.840 --> 01:11:59.160
All of you are amazing guys.

1394
01:11:59.160 --> 01:12:01.720
You're not perfect guys, and you were never asked to be perfect.

1395
01:12:01.960 --> 01:12:05.880
So if that's getting in the way of you moving forward, then let's just let it be

1396
01:12:05.920 --> 01:12:12.240
the end tonight, because you're never going to, um, you're never going to be

1397
01:12:12.400 --> 01:12:14.080
everything that you need to be.

1398
01:12:15.000 --> 01:12:19.680
That is always going to be you leaning into Christ to make up the difference.

1399
01:12:20.080 --> 01:12:25.000
And, um, just having a repentant heart and having a teachable heart is all that's

1400
01:12:25.000 --> 01:12:25.880
necessary.

1401
01:12:26.360 --> 01:12:30.280
And then of course, your woman is going to make you a better man.

1402
01:12:31.360 --> 01:12:32.760
I doesn't mean women are made.

1403
01:12:32.800 --> 01:12:35.640
I'm not saying women are better than men and we're going to make you a better man.

1404
01:12:35.640 --> 01:12:36.680
You're going to make her a better woman.

1405
01:12:36.680 --> 01:12:42.160
But you know, one of the missing pieces to you becoming a better woman is

1406
01:12:42.160 --> 01:12:48.120
finding the man that you could be is her just so you know, she is that, um,

1407
01:12:48.160 --> 01:12:50.040
husband appreciation day was this weekend.

1408
01:12:50.040 --> 01:12:54.120
It's some made up holiday that the culture is made up, but I was down with it.

1409
01:12:54.120 --> 01:12:57.480
And so I took David on Saturday.

1410
01:12:57.760 --> 01:12:59.400
That was husband appreciation day.

1411
01:12:59.640 --> 01:13:05.960
I took him and I bought him some clothes and I took him and bought a mistake and

1412
01:13:05.960 --> 01:13:06.880
did some things.

1413
01:13:07.240 --> 01:13:09.400
And I made a little video about him.

1414
01:13:09.440 --> 01:13:10.240
He's here now.

1415
01:13:10.240 --> 01:13:10.920
He just came in.

1416
01:13:11.000 --> 01:13:15.320
And, um, because your, your boy is a skinny legend.

1417
01:13:15.360 --> 01:13:17.960
He went from a 36 ways to a 32.

1418
01:13:18.760 --> 01:13:21.640
And so he's going after it.

1419
01:13:22.920 --> 01:13:24.440
He went from two 18.

1420
01:13:24.560 --> 01:13:27.760
This is the first time he's been under 200 pounds in the whole 20 years.

1421
01:13:27.760 --> 01:13:28.400
We've been married.

1422
01:13:28.480 --> 01:13:29.200
Yeah, it's true.

1423
01:13:29.520 --> 01:13:30.920
So how'd you do it?

1424
01:13:30.960 --> 01:13:32.080
How'd you do it, David?

1425
01:13:32.320 --> 01:13:32.520
Yeah.

1426
01:13:32.520 --> 01:13:33.080
How'd you do it?

1427
01:13:33.920 --> 01:13:35.080
No, how did you do it?

1428
01:13:35.120 --> 01:13:41.480
Sheer discipline and will and just, um, you know, just all the, all the right

1429
01:13:41.480 --> 01:13:42.040
things.

1430
01:13:42.600 --> 01:13:48.480
So he has been in a calorie deficit and he also is on a very micro dose of tears

1431
01:13:48.480 --> 01:13:49.040
appetite.

1432
01:13:49.080 --> 01:13:49.320
Yeah.

1433
01:13:49.320 --> 01:13:50.320
I'm on GLP one.

1434
01:13:50.360 --> 01:13:55.520
So he's on a micro dose of tears, appetite and, um, the lowest dose, very

1435
01:13:55.520 --> 01:13:56.120
small.

1436
01:13:56.200 --> 01:14:00.000
And, but, but you, but it's really, it's really helping, but it's caused him to

1437
01:14:00.000 --> 01:14:01.960
make better food choices.

1438
01:14:01.960 --> 01:14:02.760
You're less hungry.

1439
01:14:02.760 --> 01:14:04.400
So he's made better food choices.

1440
01:14:04.400 --> 01:14:04.920
It's true.

1441
01:14:05.000 --> 01:14:08.640
And even when he went off of it, he was still making better food choices.

1442
01:14:08.640 --> 01:14:09.360
It regulated.

1443
01:14:09.400 --> 01:14:11.160
Oh, and you're also on blood pressure medicine.

1444
01:14:11.200 --> 01:14:11.600
Yeah.

1445
01:14:11.600 --> 01:14:15.000
So he had like really bad blood pressure for a long time that he was just

1446
01:14:15.000 --> 01:14:15.680
ignoring.

1447
01:14:15.960 --> 01:14:19.920
And then when he got on the blood pressure medicine, finally he relented and got on

1448
01:14:19.920 --> 01:14:20.200
it.

1449
01:14:20.480 --> 01:14:23.440
And now he just is losing weight faster.

1450
01:14:23.480 --> 01:14:26.120
The biggest thing, it was just, it was enough help.

1451
01:14:26.120 --> 01:14:30.800
It wasn't like a whole overhaul, but it was just enough help to just get you over

1452
01:14:30.800 --> 01:14:34.280
the hump of like just making better choices.

1453
01:14:34.600 --> 01:14:34.880
Yeah.

1454
01:14:34.920 --> 01:14:35.520
Yeah.

1455
01:14:35.600 --> 01:14:36.880
And most people tolerate it.

1456
01:14:36.880 --> 01:14:37.520
Well, maybe not.

1457
01:14:37.520 --> 01:14:38.240
It was epic.

1458
01:14:38.280 --> 01:14:41.960
Semi-glutide, but tears, appetite is two peptides in one.

1459
01:14:41.960 --> 01:14:44.640
And a lot of people tolerate that a lot better.

1460
01:14:45.000 --> 01:14:48.560
Um, he was pre-diabetic, so he's a perfect candidate for it.

1461
01:14:49.000 --> 01:14:52.000
And, um, definitely, I'm definitely going to get in the gym guys.

1462
01:14:52.000 --> 01:14:54.080
So don't worry about like losing muscle mass.

1463
01:14:54.120 --> 01:14:54.280
Yeah.

1464
01:14:54.280 --> 01:14:55.280
He looks normal.

1465
01:14:55.280 --> 01:14:58.520
So he doesn't look like a crypt keeper or anything.

1466
01:14:58.520 --> 01:14:59.280
He's fine.

1467
01:14:59.480 --> 01:14:59.880
I mean,

1468
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.920
Well, but to be honest, to be honest, he's lost 19 pounds, but he lost 10 of those on his own.

1469
01:15:05.920 --> 01:15:10.240
He only lost nine with the teres epitaphs. We lost 10 before he even got on there.

1470
01:15:10.240 --> 01:15:13.760
All right. So you guys, if you're thinking about that, you should definitely go for it.

1471
01:15:13.760 --> 01:15:17.280
It's really not that expensive. There's a lot of places online that

1472
01:15:18.320 --> 01:15:21.760
that, you know, we're going through our doctor, but you could do it. You know,

1473
01:15:21.760 --> 01:15:25.040
you could do whatever. All right. Do you want to say anything to them? Because I'm going to.

1474
01:15:25.040 --> 01:15:28.560
All right. I was just going to say that. We're going to get you guys moving forward.

1475
01:15:28.560 --> 01:15:32.720
After husband appreciation day, the very next morning, she did declare to me,

1476
01:15:33.520 --> 01:15:40.000
husband appreciation day is actually over now. Just so you know, so get back to work.

1477
01:15:42.000 --> 01:15:47.840
Yeah, that sounds boring. Yeah, no, it was good. She's look, I'm married to a good woman. I don't

1478
01:15:47.840 --> 01:15:52.320
know if you know this or not. Hopefully tonight you were able to see that, but she's she's

1479
01:15:52.320 --> 01:16:00.160
incredible and I love her. And God has a great woman for you all too. I was talking to a bunch

1480
01:16:00.160 --> 01:16:06.080
of great ladies tonight on the other, on the other call. So let's get it together, guys. I was

1481
01:16:06.080 --> 01:16:13.120
telling ladies to get it together and let's do this. Let's make it work. Absolutely. Why not?

1482
01:16:14.400 --> 01:16:18.960
Everyone who's ready to be spotlighted, email us. Yeah. Every Jackie says everyone is ready

1483
01:16:18.960 --> 01:16:27.120
to be spotlighted. Email us. Let us know even if you've done it before or I asked for it before

1484
01:16:27.120 --> 01:16:35.200
in the past. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Hunter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. So let's do it. If you want to

1485
01:16:35.200 --> 01:16:42.080
be spotlighted, email us at admin at Jackie Dorman dot com and let us know so we can get it set up

1486
01:16:42.080 --> 01:16:47.840
for you. All right. Thank you. God bless, guys. Have a great, great week. Thanks, y'all.