WEBVTT

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All right, ladies, I hope that you all had a fantastic day, that all is well with your

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souls on tonight, that I truly do mean that all is well with your souls.

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If all is not well with your soul, I pray that by the time we're done with this session,

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that Jesus comes in and he brings a little light into the dark places and puts his healing

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balm.

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There's a scripture that says in the Old Testament, he, the prophet asked him, is there no balm

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in Gilead?

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Is there no healer there?

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I declare that tonight that there is a balm in Gilead.

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I declare that Jesus is our healer.

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I declare that Jesus brings health to our mental state.

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I declare that he comes and he brings the health that we need to our emotions and to

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our might.

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I just release a spirit of might over you all on tonight, a spirit of might, of steadfastness,

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a spirit that says, I won't let go until the Lord bless me.

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I will hang on, I will hold fast, I will let the spirit of steadfastness rise up on the

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inside of me, because I know that Jesus has something for me.

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And I know that out of all the rewards he will give me, he is my greatest reward and

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in him there is no loss.

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And so I just release it over you guys as I'm praying, this is my release over you,

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that our King Jesus, the only wise one, the government rests upon his shoulder, will come

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into your hearts on tonight and be the government over your heart and every place that has been

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broken and torn down, every place that needs attention, every place that needs a little

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bit of loving, every place that's aching like your feet can ache sometimes after a long

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day, every ache, I declare that the government of Jesus is coming and making his home in

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you.

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In Jesus name, amen.

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Amen, amen, amen.

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Well, well, well.

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All right.

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So tonight is an exciting night because I like what we're going to be talking about

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and I know that you guys are going to bring something totally awesome.

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My background is kind of tripping me up because I need to change that, I don't really like

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that blurred out style, but welcome to all of our newest members who is on here and it's

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your first time and hey, to all the ladies who said hello to me in the chat, this is

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your first time on a call.

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It doesn't look like it, but I could be wrong.

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Daisy, Daisy Jones, is this your first time?

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What's that?

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No?

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Okay.

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Grace, is this your first time?

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No answer?

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All right.

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So, hi, this is my first live call with you, but I've listened to replays.

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Okay.

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Well, welcome.

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Welcome.

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Welcome.

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So happy to have you in, you know that show, In Living Color, live and in living color.

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So happy to have you.

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No, you've been before.

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Okay, Grace, you've been before.

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Okay, great.

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Do we have any questions about the program in general?

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Videos?

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Okay.

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No worries, Grace.

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No worries at all.

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Any questions that I can help with, any program questions?

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Yeah, Tiffany, go for it.

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So what is the difference between phase two and phase three and how do you determine when

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is the right time for you?

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We encourage you to stay in phase two about four to six weeks.

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Some people say 10, 12, 15, 26, 30 weeks.

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It's true.

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And sometimes we do give a slight nudge like, hey, let's slide on over.

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So we ask that you do about four to six weeks and try to do some dating before you leave.

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Right.

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One of them, probably the main difference, phase three is amazing.

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They have Thursday night events.

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So their events are kind of like on different days from ours.

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You get some like, they have like some advanced hard work sessions that they do.

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Sometimes they do, he said, she said, they do love stories where those who were married

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before would come back and do like tell their story.

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They have exclusives like Jackie comes in and does, that's the love seats with them.

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And so she, you know, they, you know, and y'all have, we've gone to love seats before, right?

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Sometimes they give us access to a love seats.

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No.

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Well, every so often we'll get access to a love seat so you can see what it's like.

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Yeah.

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And so those are some of the differences.

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Now, one difference is this is smaller.

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Their community is much larger.

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So it's going to be a lot, lot, lot, lot more people.

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When you say Mandy, would you agree with that?

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It's a lot, lot more people in phase three.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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So Mandy is in phase three.

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Andy, can you share what do you think

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is one of the main differences?

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Sorry, you caught me off guard.

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What's one thing you really like about phase three?

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Well, I haven't been able to actually join,

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but I think the single cities is really great.

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The single cities.

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The single cities, yes,

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because it's in Nashville.

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For my single city, I live in Knoxville.

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That's about a three hour drive,

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and that's a little too much for me to do in one day

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and find childcare, so I can never do it,

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but I think it'd be so much fun to do.

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So maybe one day they can get a Knoxville one.

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Yeah, and you guys can join single city in phase two also.

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So Mandy's in phase three, but she comes to visit us.

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So that's why I had her to share.

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And Yesenia, are you in phase three also?

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Not yet, but I think I was thinking about doing that today

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or this week.

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No, no, the same.

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No, great, great, great, great, great.

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So yeah, those are some of the differences,

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the things that I named,

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and you can always come back over.

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Not like come back, but you have access.

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So dual access, like if you want to jump on a coaching call

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and you know that Carla and myself are available,

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you can do that.

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Or post something.

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Maybe you know, you can post something

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maybe, you know, maybe not hearing anything on that side.

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It's like I said, the community is much larger,

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but it's a lot of fun.

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I actually go to a lot of the events.

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Like, you know, they're really good.

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And so, yeah.

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And so whenever you're ready,

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you just put a, send an email to admin at Jackie Dorman

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and just tell them you're ready to transition to phase three.

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Awesome, thank you.

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You're welcome.

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All right.

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Um, you guys don't forget to check out

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the Supernatural Saturday replays.

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They're amazing.

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So those are always really good.

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Don't forget that we do offer one-on-ones.

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I know I say it all the time.

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So if there's no new people,

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you get to hear it over and over and over.

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With any of our lovely coaches, they are all wonderful.

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I have no doubt about it.

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And we've already prayed.

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So tonight we're going to talk about something that,

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we're going to talk about the three M's.

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And this is something we get a lot of requests about

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because in the video or in the teachings,

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we kind of hit on the three M's,

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but I don't think we,

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sometimes we don't know how to quite apply it

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in the real life dating process.

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Or sometimes we still wonder to ourself,

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well, what is really masculine?

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Or what does mature really, really mean?

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And are they going to be mature in all areas?

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Well, what if it's this?

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Or, you know, different things like this.

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So let's talk about that.

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And so you can often spot the three M's early,

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but the surety of it comes with time.

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Okay.

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And so though you may spot some little spots,

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like little spots or hints of the three M's,

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you can only confirm over time

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because one of, part of the three M's is consistency.

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And you can't say that a person

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has been consistent over a week.

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You can't say that they've been consistent over two weeks.

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You can say for a week, they've been consistent.

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For two weeks, they've been consistent.

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For three weeks, they've been consistent.

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But have you guys ever started a diet before?

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If somebody met you on Monday,

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they gonna say, she really into it.

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She into it.

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You do a week, two weeks,

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somebody have event, eat some cake, it's over with.

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So what I'm saying to you is, you know,

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please, please ladies, do yourselves a favor

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and not settle for two weeks of consistency.

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A person's patterns have no choice but to show up.

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Patterns are so powerful that they really block.

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And I heard a minister say this.

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Patterns are so powerful, they will block us from prophecy

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because patterns dictate the way our life is gonna go.

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And that is the truth.

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You can have great prophecy of life.

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You can have a word, you can have all the faith you want,

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but if you continue in a pattern,

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it's gonna be really hard to see that come to pass.

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So if you believe that the Lord is partnering with you

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to get your weight, to get your health together

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or whatever you're doing, and you have a pattern,

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let's say maybe you struggle with diabetes

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and you have a pattern of eating little David cakes.

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It's gonna be really hard to see breakthrough

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in that area of healing your body

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if you keep eating the same foods over and over, over,

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or it's gonna be kind of hard to see the scale move

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if you keep overeating in calories or whatever.

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Like I'm just trying to pick something simple

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that we all can relate to, right?

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So patterns determine the way in which we go

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and the speed in which we get to a place, our patterns.

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So the idea is that these three qualities together create,

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so the three M's, masculinity, mature, and marriage minded.

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Three M's are to be masculine, mature, and married.

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marriage-minded, right?

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So this creates clarity, so you know where you stand.

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Have you ever talked to a guy

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and you just don't have any clarity?

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It sucks.

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I have talked to so many

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and you could feel the confusion in your mind.

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And when you talk to a guy who knows what he wants,

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trust me, there is no confusion there.

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And so my encouragement would be not to live in confusion

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for a week is hard for me to live in it for a day.

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It's like, I don't know what to do.

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I'm like, oh, I'm just gonna talk to somebody else

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or I don't know, I'm just gonna break it out.

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Like all the fears, everything's not going up.

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Like, it gets so scary for my nervous system.

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And so when a man carries the three M's,

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he has clarity and you'll know it

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because you'll know where you're going.

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He has consistency.

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His actions match his words, okay?

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And then he has commitment potential.

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He's actually capable of building a relationship.

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Not capable of saying what he wants,

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but he actually carries the tools to build a relationship.

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You know, one of the tools required to build a relationship

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and a healthy relationship is self-awareness.

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Somebody who's accountable, someone who can apologize.

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Right, these are tools

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to help build a healthy relationship.

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Not just when somebody says they want something,

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but they actually show it.

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And that's why these things take time

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for you to fully see, right?

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And so the power of this framework

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is that all three must be present

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because all three play a role.

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So masculine plus not mature

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produces the excited but unstable.

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He's masculine, but he's not mature.

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Those two, so that's why we said all three need to be there

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because he's masculine, but he's not mature.

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It's like, it's exciting,

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but you don't have any stability in there.

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And then let's say he's mature,

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but he's not marriage-minded.

256
00:11:56.700 --> 00:11:58.140
Okay, then if he's not marriage-minded,

257
00:11:58.140 --> 00:12:01.380
he's not your one because you're marriage-minded.

258
00:12:01.380 --> 00:12:03.700
And then let's say that he's marriage-minded,

259
00:12:03.700 --> 00:12:05.220
but he's not masculine.

260
00:12:06.740 --> 00:12:07.900
And if he's not masculine,

261
00:12:07.900 --> 00:12:10.500
then you're gonna have that instability.

262
00:12:10.500 --> 00:12:12.860
And so all three must be in place.

263
00:12:12.860 --> 00:12:14.940
You can't be missing one of them

264
00:12:14.940 --> 00:12:19.780
because they're all important for your foundation, okay?

265
00:12:19.780 --> 00:12:21.500
So masculine, what is this about?

266
00:12:21.500 --> 00:12:25.300
Masculine is about relational energy,

267
00:12:25.820 --> 00:12:29.780
not stereotypes or dominance, relational energy.

268
00:12:29.780 --> 00:12:33.700
So a masculine man is comfortable taking initiative.

269
00:12:33.700 --> 00:12:36.260
He moves a relationship forward

270
00:12:36.260 --> 00:12:38.920
and he creates a sense of safety and direction.

271
00:12:41.060 --> 00:12:43.380
And so I'll say that again for us that are taking notes.

272
00:12:43.380 --> 00:12:45.740
He's comfortable taking initiative.

273
00:12:45.740 --> 00:12:48.580
He moves the relationship forward

274
00:12:48.580 --> 00:12:51.400
and he creates a sense of safety and direction.

275
00:12:55.580 --> 00:12:58.100
What does that mean in layman's term?

276
00:12:58.100 --> 00:13:00.060
He does not leave you guessing.

277
00:13:03.740 --> 00:13:06.580
You're not trying to figure out what's going on over here.

278
00:13:07.940 --> 00:13:12.940
Okay, so he asked you out, he has a clear plan.

279
00:13:14.900 --> 00:13:17.740
Let's grab dinner, Thursday at seven o'clock.

280
00:13:20.180 --> 00:13:23.220
Instead of, sounds like we should grab dinner.

281
00:13:23.220 --> 00:13:25.780
One guy told me one time, tacos or sushi?

282
00:13:25.780 --> 00:13:27.220
I'm like, sushi.

283
00:13:28.260 --> 00:13:29.100
Okay.

284
00:13:30.260 --> 00:13:31.100
Okay.

285
00:13:35.620 --> 00:13:36.960
What?

286
00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:37.800
Right.

287
00:13:38.820 --> 00:13:43.820
So he follows up on the date, not disappearing.

288
00:13:44.620 --> 00:13:46.700
Like he's not gonna disappear after the date.

289
00:13:46.700 --> 00:13:48.260
Even if he wasn't pleased with the date,

290
00:13:48.260 --> 00:13:50.460
he could follow up and say something, right?

291
00:13:50.460 --> 00:13:51.820
That's maturity for sure.

292
00:13:51.820 --> 00:13:53.140
And that's masculine.

293
00:13:53.980 --> 00:13:55.500
And then he makes decisions

294
00:13:55.500 --> 00:13:57.900
rather than deferring them over to you.

295
00:13:57.900 --> 00:14:00.420
Now I'm not talking about when he includes you

296
00:14:00.420 --> 00:14:01.260
in the process.

297
00:14:01.260 --> 00:14:04.940
It's the difference between including you in the process

298
00:14:04.940 --> 00:14:07.220
and handing it out completely to you.

299
00:14:07.220 --> 00:14:09.420
And I don't wanna confuse this with when a man say,

300
00:14:09.420 --> 00:14:10.260
well, you pick.

301
00:14:10.260 --> 00:14:12.300
Because sometimes they know how women are.

302
00:14:12.300 --> 00:14:14.420
They can pick some and then they can say,

303
00:14:14.420 --> 00:14:16.060
you say, the woman say, you pick.

304
00:14:16.060 --> 00:14:17.180
We even do this with our friends.

305
00:14:17.180 --> 00:14:18.140
Whatever you pick.

306
00:14:18.140 --> 00:14:18.980
Let's go get that.

307
00:14:18.980 --> 00:14:20.780
Nah, I don't want that.

308
00:14:20.780 --> 00:14:21.620
Let's go get that.

309
00:14:21.860 --> 00:14:23.500
No, I sure don't want that.

310
00:14:23.500 --> 00:14:24.380
Then they say, what you want?

311
00:14:24.380 --> 00:14:26.100
Whatever you pick is fine with me.

312
00:14:27.500 --> 00:14:30.300
No matter what they pick, you don't like it.

313
00:14:30.300 --> 00:14:33.020
So I know that I do that.

314
00:14:33.020 --> 00:14:35.580
And I know a lot of other women that do that, right?

315
00:14:35.580 --> 00:14:37.900
So that's not to be confused with it.

316
00:14:39.480 --> 00:14:42.720
Let's talk about what masculinity is not.

317
00:14:42.720 --> 00:14:44.660
Passive behavior.

318
00:14:44.660 --> 00:14:46.220
When a person has passive behavior,

319
00:14:46.220 --> 00:14:47.580
you know, they're dealing with passivity

320
00:14:47.580 --> 00:14:49.140
and that's something, you don't wanna do that.

321
00:14:49.140 --> 00:14:51.380
You don't wanna deal with a passive person.

322
00:14:52.140 --> 00:14:53.020
They're hot and cold pursuit.

323
00:14:53.020 --> 00:14:54.860
You ever talk to a man that's hot and cold?

324
00:14:54.860 --> 00:14:56.300
I do not like hot and cold.

325
00:14:56.300 --> 00:14:58.020
I'd rather you just be cold.

326
00:14:59.340 --> 00:15:00.180
But hot and-

327
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:02.800
Coal is a roller coaster.

328
00:15:02.800 --> 00:15:04.280
It does not feel good.

329
00:15:04.280 --> 00:15:06.560
Like, they come in hot, then they fall out.

330
00:15:06.560 --> 00:15:08.680
Then they come back in hot again just when you're

331
00:15:08.680 --> 00:15:11.360
about to make the decision, like, I'm just going to block them.

332
00:15:11.360 --> 00:15:13.800
Then they come back in hot, so it's so confusing.

333
00:15:13.800 --> 00:15:15.400
That is not masculine.

334
00:15:15.400 --> 00:15:18.200
And then they expect you to leave everything

335
00:15:18.200 --> 00:15:21.320
emotionally or logistically.

336
00:15:21.320 --> 00:15:23.280
OK?

337
00:15:23.280 --> 00:15:24.360
That's not masculine.

338
00:15:24.360 --> 00:15:25.320
So mature.

339
00:15:25.320 --> 00:15:28.440
This is about emotional and life stability.

340
00:15:31.200 --> 00:15:39.200
Now, a lot of men don't have a lot of social emotional skills.

341
00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:41.080
This is true.

342
00:15:41.080 --> 00:15:42.320
Right?

343
00:15:42.320 --> 00:15:46.200
They call it in school SEL, social emotional learning.

344
00:15:46.200 --> 00:15:47.880
A lot of us are not.

345
00:15:47.880 --> 00:15:49.480
Unless you've read a book or you've

346
00:15:49.480 --> 00:15:53.200
taken some classes or something, we are not

347
00:15:53.200 --> 00:15:54.480
really in touch with it.

348
00:15:54.480 --> 00:15:57.280
So we're not really talking about that so much,

349
00:15:57.280 --> 00:15:59.360
because that's a learned thing.

350
00:15:59.360 --> 00:16:00.560
OK?

351
00:16:00.560 --> 00:16:02.520
But a mature man takes responsibility

352
00:16:02.520 --> 00:16:04.640
for his life and choices.

353
00:16:04.640 --> 00:16:06.040
Whatever his life choices are, he

354
00:16:06.040 --> 00:16:09.720
takes responsibility for them.

355
00:16:09.720 --> 00:16:14.600
He communicates directly and respectfully.

356
00:16:14.600 --> 00:16:15.600
Mm-hmm.

357
00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:19.000
And he handles challenges without drama or avoidance.

358
00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:22.360
A really good example of a man handling challenges

359
00:16:22.360 --> 00:16:23.960
without drama or avoidance.

360
00:16:23.960 --> 00:16:26.200
My niece was on a date with a guy,

361
00:16:26.200 --> 00:16:29.000
and they walked over to the ice cream shop

362
00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:32.040
because they had a patio outside, and they sat down.

363
00:16:32.040 --> 00:16:34.840
And they had sat there for a while,

364
00:16:34.840 --> 00:16:38.160
and the manager came out and was really aggressive.

365
00:16:38.160 --> 00:16:39.720
And she was like, you can't sit here.

366
00:16:39.720 --> 00:16:42.840
If you're going to sit here, you have to order something.

367
00:16:42.840 --> 00:16:46.080
And she said, the guy said, would you like some ice cream?

368
00:16:46.080 --> 00:16:47.400
And they went, yes.

369
00:16:47.400 --> 00:16:48.720
Would you like some ice cream?

370
00:16:48.720 --> 00:16:51.440
And they went in the store and ordered ice cream.

371
00:16:51.440 --> 00:16:53.040
She said, he never frowned up.

372
00:16:53.040 --> 00:16:54.040
He didn't look shocked.

373
00:16:54.040 --> 00:16:54.600
He didn't do anything.

374
00:16:54.600 --> 00:16:55.320
He just asked.

375
00:16:55.320 --> 00:16:57.960
My niece was like, hey, would you like some ice cream?

376
00:16:57.960 --> 00:16:59.920
And they went in the store, ordered ice cream,

377
00:16:59.920 --> 00:17:01.320
came back out, and sat down.

378
00:17:01.320 --> 00:17:02.840
It wasn't a big blow up.

379
00:17:02.840 --> 00:17:05.079
He just took care of business.

380
00:17:05.079 --> 00:17:09.040
So what it means practically, he's consistent and grounded,

381
00:17:09.040 --> 00:17:10.760
not reactive or chaotic.

382
00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:17.240
If something bothers him, these are some examples.

383
00:17:17.240 --> 00:17:18.720
If something bothers him, he wants

384
00:17:18.720 --> 00:17:21.599
to talk about it instead of pushing it

385
00:17:21.599 --> 00:17:23.839
to the side or withdrawing.

386
00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:29.600
He owns the past without blaming exes for everything.

387
00:17:29.600 --> 00:17:31.520
You got to have some ownership in something

388
00:17:31.520 --> 00:17:35.640
that can happen in your life, not just the man, but all of us.

389
00:17:35.640 --> 00:17:38.720
Life doesn't happen without you being a part of it in some way,

390
00:17:38.720 --> 00:17:41.960
even not to say if someone did you wrong, it was your fault.

391
00:17:41.960 --> 00:17:43.480
That's not what I'm saying.

392
00:17:43.480 --> 00:17:46.400
But even the part of how do we reconcile it,

393
00:17:46.440 --> 00:17:48.280
what do we do for us?

394
00:17:48.280 --> 00:17:50.800
What do we do for us?

395
00:17:50.800 --> 00:17:54.480
Not reconcile a particular issue or a particular situation.

396
00:17:54.480 --> 00:17:58.080
But when somebody says everything is somebody,

397
00:17:58.080 --> 00:18:01.280
there is some part of you involved in something.

398
00:18:01.280 --> 00:18:05.440
And I say some part of you, the reason it went wrong,

399
00:18:05.440 --> 00:18:09.520
that's not that, that you were involved.

400
00:18:09.520 --> 00:18:11.800
And so a lot of times, the language

401
00:18:11.800 --> 00:18:15.200
can come different when a person has taken accountability.

402
00:18:15.200 --> 00:18:17.920
They can say, yeah, that was a really challenging

403
00:18:17.920 --> 00:18:19.680
relationship, but I did what I needed

404
00:18:19.680 --> 00:18:22.160
to do to build myself up and move on,

405
00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:24.800
and I'm thankful for where I am.

406
00:18:24.800 --> 00:18:27.000
There's a big difference between they did this,

407
00:18:27.000 --> 00:18:29.400
and they did that, and they did this, and they did that,

408
00:18:29.400 --> 00:18:31.440
and they did this, and they did that.

409
00:18:31.440 --> 00:18:33.200
I just talked about the same situation,

410
00:18:33.200 --> 00:18:37.120
but I talked about it from a different language.

411
00:18:37.120 --> 00:18:38.760
I didn't talk about it as a victim,

412
00:18:38.760 --> 00:18:42.160
but I talked about, yep, it was really hard, it was messed up,

413
00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:45.080
but this is what I did.

414
00:18:45.080 --> 00:18:50.360
So also, he owns his past.

415
00:18:50.360 --> 00:18:51.480
We talked about that.

416
00:18:51.480 --> 00:18:53.000
And he keeps his commitments.

417
00:18:53.000 --> 00:18:54.800
He calls when he says he's going to call.

418
00:18:54.800 --> 00:19:00.600
He shows up on time, does what he says he's going to do.

419
00:19:00.600 --> 00:19:02.480
All right, and so what is not?

420
00:19:02.480 --> 00:19:07.160
It's not ghosting, breadcrumbing, or playing games.

421
00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:10.080
It's not blaming others for his circumstances,

422
00:19:10.080 --> 00:19:12.920
and it's not avoiding serious conversations.

423
00:19:16.080 --> 00:19:21.200
OK, and then the last one is marriage-minded.

424
00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:26.880
This is about intentionality and alignment around commitment.

425
00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:32.360
And it's kind of easy.

426
00:19:32.360 --> 00:19:33.840
There's a difference between a man

427
00:19:33.840 --> 00:19:36.480
who talks about the future, who's love-bumming you

428
00:19:36.480 --> 00:19:39.200
to get you somewhere, versus a man who's marriage-minded.

429
00:19:39.200 --> 00:19:41.360
If you ever talked to a marriage-minded man before,

430
00:19:41.360 --> 00:19:43.120
you're going to know he's marriage-minded.

431
00:19:43.120 --> 00:19:45.560
He kind of talks about things very quickly and right up

432
00:19:45.560 --> 00:19:48.120
front.

433
00:19:48.120 --> 00:19:49.160
Men don't hold back.

434
00:19:49.160 --> 00:19:51.080
It's like, this is what I'm looking for.

435
00:19:51.080 --> 00:19:52.840
This is what I want.

436
00:19:52.840 --> 00:19:54.320
And you'll be like, I just started

437
00:19:54.320 --> 00:19:56.120
talking to you 30 seconds ago.

438
00:19:56.120 --> 00:19:59.520
I don't know what it is, so that's why you have to get

439
00:19:59.520 --> 00:20:01.080
pacing.

440
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.920
And you can agree like, hey, I'm totally marriage-minded.

441
00:20:06.260 --> 00:20:08.180
Yes, yes, you can get this list from me,

442
00:20:08.180 --> 00:20:09.420
Ms. Bunny, for sure.

443
00:20:09.420 --> 00:20:10.260
Yes.

444
00:20:10.260 --> 00:20:11.080
Yes, ma'am.

445
00:20:11.080 --> 00:20:12.320
Yeah.

446
00:20:12.320 --> 00:20:14.960
And so, what was it?

447
00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:16.280
So marriage-minded, he's intentional.

448
00:20:16.280 --> 00:20:19.320
So a marriage-minded man wants a committed relationship

449
00:20:19.320 --> 00:20:20.480
that leads somewhere.

450
00:20:21.360 --> 00:20:22.720
He's not wanting to just talk to you

451
00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:24.260
to talk to you for no reason.

452
00:20:25.180 --> 00:20:27.760
He dates with purpose, not just for entertainment.

453
00:20:28.600 --> 00:20:32.120
And he's open to building a future.

454
00:20:32.120 --> 00:20:35.080
And I can post all of these things for y'all

455
00:20:35.080 --> 00:20:36.780
if you want me to.

456
00:20:36.780 --> 00:20:38.640
He's open to building a future.

457
00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:40.340
Now, if you talk to a marriage-minded man

458
00:20:40.340 --> 00:20:43.260
and at the end of the week, he says, let's go exclusive,

459
00:20:43.260 --> 00:20:46.360
then there's something, there's some part of you

460
00:20:46.360 --> 00:20:48.840
that has to adhere to some level of wisdom

461
00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:51.840
and say, hey, let's just keep getting

462
00:20:51.840 --> 00:20:53.040
to know each other for a while.

463
00:20:53.040 --> 00:20:55.920
I definitely wanna talk about commitment with you

464
00:20:55.920 --> 00:20:58.000
because I like where this is going.

465
00:20:58.000 --> 00:21:01.240
But if we take our time, we'll get to see

466
00:21:01.240 --> 00:21:04.080
if we really choose each other over some time.

467
00:21:06.200 --> 00:21:08.560
Right, or you can say something like that.

468
00:21:08.560 --> 00:21:12.040
Or it also, another thing depends on your age

469
00:21:12.040 --> 00:21:13.560
and stage in life.

470
00:21:16.240 --> 00:21:20.160
But, you know, Jackie said at the minimum,

471
00:21:20.160 --> 00:21:22.140
at least 60 days.

472
00:21:23.140 --> 00:21:28.020
And she said the sweetest spot is 90 days, okay?

473
00:21:28.020 --> 00:21:30.340
But we're all at different stages.

474
00:21:30.340 --> 00:21:31.980
So this is not a but.

475
00:21:31.980 --> 00:21:36.980
That is the, you could get with somebody

476
00:21:37.380 --> 00:21:38.380
and marry them in a month.

477
00:21:38.380 --> 00:21:41.220
Like, I don't think it's not possible.

478
00:21:41.220 --> 00:21:42.060
You could do it.

479
00:21:42.060 --> 00:21:47.060
If you're 75 and somebody is, you know, 78,

480
00:21:47.460 --> 00:21:50.260
I mean, I don't know if I'm gonna date you for six months.

481
00:21:50.260 --> 00:21:53.020
Look, we on the clock.

482
00:21:53.020 --> 00:21:55.300
Let's get to, you know what you want at that age.

483
00:21:55.300 --> 00:21:57.020
Like, life is real simple.

484
00:21:57.020 --> 00:21:58.860
It is a whole lot different.

485
00:22:00.340 --> 00:22:02.900
So that's a little different.

486
00:22:02.900 --> 00:22:04.140
Would I be riding this bus?

487
00:22:04.140 --> 00:22:05.340
It's a bit different.

488
00:22:06.420 --> 00:22:07.860
Yeah, yeah.

489
00:22:09.820 --> 00:22:13.900
Even me, even me at 43, I'm like, look,

490
00:22:13.900 --> 00:22:15.540
now you know what you want or you don't.

491
00:22:15.540 --> 00:22:19.180
I ain't trying, you miss me with all that.

492
00:22:19.180 --> 00:22:21.380
I'm not trying to ride a speedboat,

493
00:22:21.380 --> 00:22:24.660
but I can spot out if somebody knows what they want

494
00:22:24.660 --> 00:22:27.060
because I'm aware of myself.

495
00:22:27.060 --> 00:22:32.060
But, so 60 days at minimum, 90 days is the sweet spot.

496
00:22:34.380 --> 00:22:37.340
And I've had clients that say all the time,

497
00:22:37.340 --> 00:22:39.300
and I just had somebody say to me recently,

498
00:22:39.300 --> 00:22:40.740
and they was like, you know,

499
00:22:40.740 --> 00:22:44.420
things really do change at 90 days.

500
00:22:44.420 --> 00:22:47.540
I said, yeah, it really does.

501
00:22:47.540 --> 00:22:49.860
A lot of that excitement.

502
00:22:49.860 --> 00:22:52.780
See, when you first get with a person, boy meets girl,

503
00:22:52.780 --> 00:22:56.260
everything that God put in place does the work for us.

504
00:22:56.260 --> 00:22:57.620
You can't wait to talk to him.

505
00:22:57.620 --> 00:22:58.460
I'm serious.

506
00:22:58.460 --> 00:23:00.780
Two days seem like you've been knowing him for a month.

507
00:23:00.780 --> 00:23:03.260
You literally have only been knowing him two days

508
00:23:03.260 --> 00:23:05.860
and nobody can convince you that it's been two days.

509
00:23:05.860 --> 00:23:08.820
I'm telling you, I've been there too many times.

510
00:23:08.820 --> 00:23:11.500
I have watched the calendar, like move calendar,

511
00:23:11.500 --> 00:23:14.060
move, move, surely it's been three weeks.

512
00:23:14.060 --> 00:23:16.740
It's been an hour.

513
00:23:16.740 --> 00:23:19.620
You have one good conversation and it's like,

514
00:23:23.060 --> 00:23:24.500
you'll get up the next day, you think about him.

515
00:23:24.500 --> 00:23:27.140
You want to talk to him, it's so good.

516
00:23:27.140 --> 00:23:29.100
It feels so good.

517
00:23:29.100 --> 00:23:31.420
And so like, and it's really nice,

518
00:23:31.420 --> 00:23:33.300
especially if you have with a mature marriage,

519
00:23:33.300 --> 00:23:36.820
masculine, masculine, masculine, mature marriage minded man,

520
00:23:36.820 --> 00:23:39.780
because I always say to people,

521
00:23:39.780 --> 00:23:43.500
like, just, just take in that time.

522
00:23:43.500 --> 00:23:45.060
You don't get that back.

523
00:23:45.100 --> 00:23:47.020
Like, even if you were to marry a person,

524
00:23:47.020 --> 00:23:48.340
you don't get those weeks.

525
00:23:48.340 --> 00:23:51.100
You know, like when you get phone wasted with somebody,

526
00:23:51.100 --> 00:23:52.540
you don't get that back.

527
00:23:52.540 --> 00:23:55.900
It's just, it's just this new energy go through you.

528
00:23:55.900 --> 00:23:59.500
I'm like, have fun, have fun with it, you know,

529
00:23:59.500 --> 00:24:01.700
but guard your heart without diligence.

530
00:24:01.700 --> 00:24:03.460
But it does feel so good.

531
00:24:03.460 --> 00:24:05.660
It does feel so real.

532
00:24:05.660 --> 00:24:08.900
And if you don't guard your heart without diligence,

533
00:24:08.900 --> 00:24:10.260
then at the end of the week,

534
00:24:10.260 --> 00:24:11.740
you can be just as heartbroken

535
00:24:11.740 --> 00:24:14.460
as if you had been with him for a month.

536
00:24:14.500 --> 00:24:17.380
And everybody looking at you like, well, you really,

537
00:24:17.380 --> 00:24:19.180
had you even seen him yet?

538
00:24:22.820 --> 00:24:26.100
No, but it is so real.

539
00:24:26.100 --> 00:24:29.580
And so anyway, I just wanted to touch on that.

540
00:24:29.580 --> 00:24:32.460
And so ladies, I know, and I understand,

541
00:24:32.460 --> 00:24:34.580
and it is not that it can't happen to me.

542
00:24:34.580 --> 00:24:35.540
It can't happen to me.

543
00:24:35.540 --> 00:24:36.860
It will, it will,

544
00:24:36.860 --> 00:24:40.340
if I'm talking to somebody that I like, right?

545
00:24:40.340 --> 00:24:42.140
And so you get that attention.

546
00:24:42.140 --> 00:24:42.980
It feels good.

547
00:24:42.980 --> 00:24:44.900
It feels like, yeah, I knew I looked good.

548
00:24:44.900 --> 00:24:46.660
Yeah, I knew I still had it.

549
00:24:46.660 --> 00:24:51.260
It's like, oh, so that dopamine rush, all the chemicals.

550
00:24:51.260 --> 00:24:54.220
Anyway, so, and that's why we say don't kiss

551
00:24:54.220 --> 00:24:57.540
because it only gets worse from there when you do that.

552
00:24:57.540 --> 00:24:59.940
My, my, my, keep your physical stuff to yourself.

553
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.140
So a marriage minded man wants commitment. I'm gonna post it

554
00:25:04.400 --> 00:25:09.520
He wants could he wants a committed relationship believe somewhere he dates with purpose not just for entertainment

555
00:25:09.520 --> 00:25:15.280
And he's open to building a future what it means that he's not figuring it out indefinitely

556
00:25:15.280 --> 00:25:20.360
You're not talking to a man who's trying to figure out something like this. He's always in the state of I'm figuring it out

557
00:25:20.680 --> 00:25:27.480
I'm working on it. I'm figuring out I'm working on it ladies one thing. You got to remember that you are marriage minded

558
00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:32.000
You want marriage

559
00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:39.200
Don't let it be said that you date somebody two years and talking about guys writing your love story

560
00:25:40.440 --> 00:25:45.240
You are marriage minded. Nothing wrong today to you. No, no, I don't know how you gonna abstain to you

561
00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:48.040
But why be it for me? I don't know

562
00:25:48.040 --> 00:25:53.960
I ain't gonna put myself in no boat like that, but I'm just saying people know what they wanted

563
00:25:53.960 --> 00:25:57.000
that's why Jackie said it three months a conversation should be had a

564
00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:00.320
Conversation should be had about where you're going

565
00:26:00.840 --> 00:26:06.600
You can't continue to invest in that way a person know people know what they want, right? And so

566
00:26:07.880 --> 00:26:10.600
Example he expresses that he wants a serious relationship

567
00:26:10.600 --> 00:26:18.280
He asks meaningful questions about your values and goals and over time he moves toward exclusivity and commitment

568
00:26:20.760 --> 00:26:22.560
Yep

569
00:26:22.560 --> 00:26:24.320
so

570
00:26:24.320 --> 00:26:26.320
What is it not?

571
00:26:26.320 --> 00:26:30.800
You're not gonna hear a marriage my demands a marriage minded my

572
00:26:32.120 --> 00:26:35.520
Marriage minded man say let's just see where it goes

573
00:26:37.560 --> 00:26:39.640
That's not intentional at all I

574
00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:46.480
Mean even if you were intentional about cleaning up your house, you would say I'm just gonna wake up and see what I get done

575
00:26:47.520 --> 00:26:50.520
If you want to do some spring cleaning, you're gonna wake up with a plan

576
00:26:51.640 --> 00:26:55.400
Okay, so simple things in life require intentionality

577
00:26:56.240 --> 00:26:58.240
Let's avoid labels or

578
00:26:58.920 --> 00:27:02.800
Future conversations now you do want to avoid future conversations

579
00:27:03.600 --> 00:27:09.560
And labels in the sake of like pacing to get to know someone but are you in two months?

580
00:27:10.240 --> 00:27:13.160
You ain't never heard none about the future or where he wants to go

581
00:27:13.360 --> 00:27:18.080
You should have heard it by the and not even if he's saying he wants it with you just in general

582
00:27:18.080 --> 00:27:23.960
You know how you just have those general conversations like you just talk about what you want or where you see yourself

583
00:27:24.520 --> 00:27:30.800
Something like that and then keeping things casual long-term that's not gonna work. That's not a marriage minded me

584
00:27:32.040 --> 00:27:34.440
If he's doing it, he's not marriage minded

585
00:27:35.160 --> 00:27:41.200
So a more accurate framework for this think of it like this before dating

586
00:27:41.840 --> 00:27:44.400
You're kind of screening for any red flags

587
00:27:44.920 --> 00:27:49.960
It's like when you talk kind of screaming lightly screaming. We not to my walls

588
00:27:50.840 --> 00:27:54.520
And we don't want to call yellow flags or no flag at all the red flag

589
00:27:54.520 --> 00:27:59.920
and if we do we could just ask the community acts a coach we got you and

590
00:28:00.120 --> 00:28:05.440
Then your first one to three dates you're sampling. Do I see any signs of the three M's?

591
00:28:06.600 --> 00:28:10.200
Your first one to three dates are used to I see any signs

592
00:28:12.360 --> 00:28:14.760
This that's it do I see any signs

593
00:28:15.480 --> 00:28:19.800
And I don't want you to come back from the first day or from the first text message and be like, yep

594
00:28:19.800 --> 00:28:26.320
He's everything he check all the boxes. He's marriage minded. He's masculine mature. I'm like good good that y'all discuss that now

595
00:28:26.320 --> 00:28:28.320
Let's sit back and watch

596
00:28:29.280 --> 00:28:32.100
It's time to observe okay, and then over time

597
00:28:32.880 --> 00:28:39.000
Confirming you get to confirm. Is he consistent you get to concern you you get to come a firm?

598
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:43.160
Confirm if all these things that you have

599
00:28:43.880 --> 00:28:48.680
Detected are they right and so

600
00:28:50.880 --> 00:28:52.880
Any questions

601
00:28:56.080 --> 00:29:00.200
Yeah, we want to do an activation this week where you ladies

602
00:29:01.920 --> 00:29:08.160
Seek out the three M's in any man that you know now for somebody for you today think about an uncle or

603
00:29:08.880 --> 00:29:16.480
Just train your eyes and your skill set to three M's to the masculine mature and marriage manner and I'm gonna post them in the

604
00:29:17.240 --> 00:29:22.220
Activation so that you can be on the lookout. Let's learn how to spot these things in me

605
00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:25.200
What does it look like? What doesn't it look like?

606
00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:32.360
Okay, and so this could be a man you're dating. It could be a friend a co-worker a family member

607
00:29:32.360 --> 00:29:34.920
It could be someone that you even observe in public

608
00:29:35.440 --> 00:29:38.480
It can be even characters on shows or movies

609
00:29:39.360 --> 00:29:46.320
Let's learn to train our eyes to to spot the three M's in a man, so you won't spend a lot of time

610
00:29:47.320 --> 00:29:50.840
The goal is to you to build the recognition of these skills

611
00:29:52.240 --> 00:29:59.280
Okay, I think it's gonna be fun. So this is not just evaluating a date. Oh, I'm good. We had good conversation. No, no, no

612
00:29:59.560 --> 00:30:01.560
We

613
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.000
We are training our eyes to see the three M's.

614
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:06.360
Because if you don't see the three M's,

615
00:30:06.360 --> 00:30:09.400
you do get to see what they are possibly.

616
00:30:09.400 --> 00:30:11.080
If you don't see that, you're going

617
00:30:11.080 --> 00:30:14.360
to have no choice but to see the opposite, and not

618
00:30:14.360 --> 00:30:15.480
even in a critical way.

619
00:30:18.360 --> 00:30:19.760
So if they don't show consistency,

620
00:30:19.760 --> 00:30:21.440
what do they really show?

621
00:30:21.440 --> 00:30:24.400
Inconsistency.

622
00:30:24.400 --> 00:30:26.680
If they don't have a future plan, what don't they have?

623
00:30:26.680 --> 00:30:27.880
They don't have a plan.

624
00:30:30.760 --> 00:30:33.480
What areas in their life have they ever shown commitment?

625
00:30:33.480 --> 00:30:35.560
Have they ever been committed to anything?

626
00:30:35.560 --> 00:30:36.920
Do they keep their commitment?

627
00:30:36.920 --> 00:30:38.160
So on and so forth.

628
00:30:38.160 --> 00:30:42.600
So each day, you're going to reflect on these simple prompts.

629
00:30:42.600 --> 00:30:44.760
Where did I see masculine energy today?

630
00:30:48.280 --> 00:30:50.800
Where did I see maturity today?

631
00:30:50.800 --> 00:30:56.640
And then where did I see marriage-minded today?

632
00:30:56.640 --> 00:30:59.040
I don't know what it is about my words.

633
00:30:59.720 --> 00:31:02.680
Where did I see that today?

634
00:31:02.680 --> 00:31:03.480
OK.

635
00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:05.280
And then one of the things that you can do

636
00:31:05.280 --> 00:31:10.480
is also ask yourself, where do you embody these things?

637
00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:13.920
Do you carry consistency and commitment?

638
00:31:13.920 --> 00:31:17.480
Are you truly marriage-minded?

639
00:31:17.480 --> 00:31:18.160
Are you mature?

640
00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:22.880
You will be feminine, not masculine.

641
00:31:22.880 --> 00:31:24.200
So are you marriage-minded?

642
00:31:24.200 --> 00:31:25.120
Are you feminine?

643
00:31:25.120 --> 00:31:26.080
Are you mature?

644
00:31:26.080 --> 00:31:30.040
Do you carry the things that you desire from others?

645
00:31:30.040 --> 00:31:33.080
So that means if I carry maturity,

646
00:31:33.080 --> 00:31:37.760
if I carry marriage-minded, then I'm not carrying somebody

647
00:31:37.760 --> 00:31:39.200
else's trash around.

648
00:31:39.200 --> 00:31:42.360
I'm not with somebody or talking with somebody

649
00:31:42.360 --> 00:31:45.320
or entertaining someone who's not these things.

650
00:31:45.320 --> 00:31:47.520
Because how could we even agree?

651
00:31:47.520 --> 00:31:49.920
I am not that.

652
00:31:49.920 --> 00:31:51.240
I am marriage-minded.

653
00:31:51.240 --> 00:31:53.160
So would I really be talking to somebody

654
00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:55.320
who's not marriage-minded?

655
00:31:55.320 --> 00:32:02.320
Unless I also am not marriage-minded, right?

656
00:32:02.320 --> 00:32:06.360
Like there's something happening there.

657
00:32:06.360 --> 00:32:10.040
Water seeks its own level.

658
00:32:10.040 --> 00:32:13.040
So we can evaluate, especially if you're talking to somebody,

659
00:32:13.040 --> 00:32:14.480
you can evaluate that.

660
00:32:14.480 --> 00:32:16.840
Like I already got questions running through my mind.

661
00:32:16.840 --> 00:32:20.200
Like, oh, this is a good one.

662
00:32:20.200 --> 00:32:22.720
I'm teaching to myself tonight.

663
00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:23.920
OK?

664
00:32:23.920 --> 00:32:24.720
So great.

665
00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:27.960
All right, I'm going to stop right here.

666
00:32:27.960 --> 00:32:34.080
And then we're going to start with Nadine.

667
00:32:34.080 --> 00:32:37.000
Rachel, then Lauren, go for it, Nadine.

668
00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:42.480
I told you I want to talk about something, right, Nadine?

669
00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:44.200
Yes, ma'am.

670
00:32:44.200 --> 00:32:47.240
I'll just kind of give a quick update.

671
00:32:47.240 --> 00:32:51.440
I had a serious conversation with Stephen yesterday.

672
00:32:51.440 --> 00:33:01.360
So I'm not doing the best today, but we just

673
00:33:01.360 --> 00:33:06.600
kind of keep getting stuck around the topic of content,

674
00:33:06.600 --> 00:33:09.640
like videos and books and things like that,

675
00:33:09.640 --> 00:33:12.280
like what we allow in the home.

676
00:33:12.280 --> 00:33:21.560
And I feel like we could get to a consensus in some ways,

677
00:33:21.560 --> 00:33:23.560
but there are just certain things that I just

678
00:33:23.560 --> 00:33:25.360
cannot allow in the home.

679
00:33:25.360 --> 00:33:31.880
And so we're kind of taking some time to just think about it

680
00:33:31.880 --> 00:33:35.000
and pray about it and just write out

681
00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:37.320
like exactly what that looks like so we

682
00:33:37.320 --> 00:33:40.000
can kind of revisit it.

683
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:41.520
Give me an example of this video

684
00:33:41.520 --> 00:33:43.360
and continue talking about.

685
00:33:43.360 --> 00:33:47.920
Yeah, like for instance, I really don't.

686
00:33:47.920 --> 00:33:51.600
For me personally, I don't watch TV anymore for the most part.

687
00:33:51.600 --> 00:33:54.600
If I watch a movie, it's centered on Christ

688
00:33:54.600 --> 00:33:55.480
or it's wholesome.

689
00:33:55.480 --> 00:33:56.680
Like I don't want cursing.

690
00:33:56.680 --> 00:33:59.520
I don't want violence.

691
00:33:59.520 --> 00:34:01.880
There's just certain things I don't want to deal with.

692
00:34:01.880 --> 00:34:05.720
And then for my son, I try to do Christian-based,

693
00:34:05.720 --> 00:34:07.760
but it's really hard.

694
00:34:07.760 --> 00:34:10.880
And so if he does watch something,

695
00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:13.520
I try to make sure it's the cleanest that I can do.

696
00:34:13.520 --> 00:34:15.960
And there are some times where we do watch a movie

697
00:34:15.960 --> 00:34:18.920
and there's a part of it that's not honoring to the Lord.

698
00:34:18.920 --> 00:34:21.480
Maybe there's like a yoga or something like that.

699
00:34:21.480 --> 00:34:23.360
We fast forward through it, and I kind of

700
00:34:23.360 --> 00:34:30.120
talk about why we don't do those things.

701
00:34:30.120 --> 00:34:32.040
So I just am very particular.

702
00:34:32.040 --> 00:34:37.480
I cannot watch something that has witchcraft in it at all.

703
00:34:38.440 --> 00:34:41.440
I've been very diligent about stewarding my home in that way

704
00:34:41.440 --> 00:34:42.760
in the last few years.

705
00:34:42.760 --> 00:34:47.480
And so there are times where we have conversations

706
00:34:47.480 --> 00:34:50.560
and this feels like it's going to be hard for him.

707
00:34:50.560 --> 00:34:54.320
And I don't, you know, we've talked about-

708
00:34:54.320 --> 00:34:57.360
What's the disagreement about it?

709
00:34:57.360 --> 00:34:59.320
I'm not trying to cut you off, but I need to be-

710
00:34:59.320 --> 00:35:00.160
In order for me to-

711
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.960
keep up with you to be in where you're going. I need to know what your disagreement is.

712
00:35:06.560 --> 00:35:10.240
I understand your stance. I need to know what the disagreement is.

713
00:35:11.440 --> 00:35:18.480
The disagreement is I think he thinks that I only do Christian things and it's like,

714
00:35:18.480 --> 00:35:23.680
it's not that it has to be only Christian based, but I can't have dark stuff in my home.

715
00:35:24.320 --> 00:35:31.280
And it feels like he's on the same path, but somehow we just keep getting stuck there.

716
00:35:34.400 --> 00:35:36.160
Give me an example of y'all being stuck.

717
00:35:37.520 --> 00:35:39.840
Well, the conversation yesterday where I just,

718
00:35:43.040 --> 00:35:47.840
we don't even know what topic to call this. We just keep calling it content.

719
00:35:48.800 --> 00:35:50.800
We don't even know what content.

720
00:35:50.800 --> 00:35:52.480
So what does he want?

721
00:35:54.000 --> 00:36:00.640
He wants to allow books and shows and music into his life.

722
00:36:01.920 --> 00:36:06.560
And he's okay if there may be some cursing in there and he's okay if there's like a war movie

723
00:36:06.560 --> 00:36:12.640
and there's some, and I understand, he said something about like, I don't want to watch

724
00:36:12.640 --> 00:36:19.680
Game of Thrones where there's like high sexual promiscuousness in there and gorgy

725
00:36:20.560 --> 00:36:22.960
scenes and cursing and all of that.

726
00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:26.800
And this is where it's like, I feel like we're saying the same thing in two different ways,

727
00:36:27.440 --> 00:36:33.440
but I think my level might be a little higher as far as what I can't deal with.

728
00:36:34.320 --> 00:36:34.560
Okay.

729
00:36:34.560 --> 00:36:56.400
Um, Nadine, I would like you to ask God to give you some non-negotiables from heaven

730
00:36:57.200 --> 00:37:03.520
based on how he's designed you and what is going to best serve your life from his perspective.

731
00:37:04.560 --> 00:37:05.680
Not from your perspective.

732
00:37:07.920 --> 00:37:10.880
And the reason why you didn't explain it all to me,

733
00:37:10.880 --> 00:37:13.920
but I'm concerned when you say to me at the end of the day,

734
00:37:13.920 --> 00:37:15.760
we're still basically saying the same thing.

735
00:37:16.640 --> 00:37:21.920
I don't want you to miss the weight of your matters on little small things.

736
00:37:24.560 --> 00:37:29.520
We oftentimes, especially because you just said to me, y'all agree.

737
00:37:30.480 --> 00:37:33.120
You think that y'all are basically agreeing,

738
00:37:33.120 --> 00:37:35.680
but there's a little, little hints here and there.

739
00:37:35.680 --> 00:37:37.040
That's what you just said to me.

740
00:37:38.720 --> 00:37:41.760
And so what happened is that when we major in the minor,

741
00:37:41.760 --> 00:37:44.960
it costs us, you don't know it, but it's costing you

742
00:37:45.920 --> 00:37:48.400
because anybody that you blend your life with,

743
00:37:48.400 --> 00:37:51.120
they are not going to be you when you look in the mirror.

744
00:37:52.080 --> 00:37:57.680
And you, you're not, it's possible not to put your focus on the weight of your matter

745
00:37:57.680 --> 00:38:04.240
as to what you carry and how it's going to shape and influence your partner.

746
00:38:05.680 --> 00:38:10.240
Because marriage is designed to make us more holy than it is to make us happy.

747
00:38:11.440 --> 00:38:14.720
God creates marriage for kingdom assignments.

748
00:38:17.120 --> 00:38:18.240
Are you tracking with me?

749
00:38:21.120 --> 00:38:25.120
And so oftentimes when we come up with this list of things,

750
00:38:26.640 --> 00:38:31.920
we can't, we don't have the ability to encompass

751
00:38:31.920 --> 00:38:36.000
what that union is going to produce in the other person for the glory of God.

752
00:38:38.720 --> 00:38:42.800
And so when you major in the minor, but you tell me, we basically agree.

753
00:38:42.800 --> 00:38:45.920
Like he's not going to bring sex images over your son.

754
00:38:45.920 --> 00:38:50.560
He's not going to play anything, play, bring witchcraft books in your house.

755
00:38:50.560 --> 00:38:53.760
So you're not seeing this man trying to bring some witchcraft books in the house.

756
00:38:53.760 --> 00:38:57.040
You know, that's the one, that's the one topic where it's like,

757
00:38:57.040 --> 00:38:59.120
I don't really get commentary on that.

758
00:38:59.120 --> 00:39:01.520
Like he likes Harry Potter or something.

759
00:39:01.520 --> 00:39:03.360
Well, he said he's never watched it or read it.

760
00:39:03.360 --> 00:39:06.240
Like he doesn't know his mom didn't allow it in his home,

761
00:39:06.240 --> 00:39:08.560
but he doesn't give me this definitive.

762
00:39:08.560 --> 00:39:10.000
We won't have that in my home.

763
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:14.080
And I, that's what he, and I don't, I wouldn't give you that.

764
00:39:15.680 --> 00:39:18.640
You don't get to control another person's life in that way.

765
00:39:19.600 --> 00:39:21.600
You are not Holy Spirit.

766
00:39:21.600 --> 00:39:22.960
You are not father God.

767
00:39:23.680 --> 00:39:26.320
You are not the one that brings conviction in his life.

768
00:39:26.960 --> 00:39:30.960
You will be the one that stands beside him and walks with him.

769
00:39:30.960 --> 00:39:35.600
That when you see him going in a different direction, you can pray for him

770
00:39:35.600 --> 00:39:39.360
and change the trajectory of your household and of your husband.

771
00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:43.760
And so the fact, the idea that I want to war out anything

772
00:39:43.760 --> 00:39:47.280
that has a sound or taste of evil is not life.

773
00:39:47.280 --> 00:39:51.040
The Bible says that in this life, you will have trouble.

774
00:39:51.040 --> 00:39:52.640
And what do I mean by that?

775
00:39:52.640 --> 00:39:55.840
There are way to your matters that are at play here.

776
00:39:55.840 --> 00:39:59.440
Like if he's righteous, if he's submitted to the Lord,

777
00:39:59.440 --> 00:40:01.040
if the Holy Spirit has a calling.

778
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.520
Holy Spirit speaks, will he hear?

779
00:40:02.520 --> 00:40:04.280
Does that make sense?

780
00:40:04.280 --> 00:40:05.480
Are you tracking with me?

781
00:40:05.480 --> 00:40:08.400
I hope this is not too hard for you to swallow,

782
00:40:08.400 --> 00:40:10.100
but I want you to swallow it

783
00:40:10.100 --> 00:40:12.200
because even if he's not the one,

784
00:40:12.200 --> 00:40:13.560
somebody else is coming

785
00:40:13.560 --> 00:40:17.000
and they're not gonna line up in your little line.

786
00:40:17.000 --> 00:40:19.280
They're not coming in your box, Nadine.

787
00:40:19.280 --> 00:40:21.400
They won't even be able to sharpen you

788
00:40:21.400 --> 00:40:23.120
if they fit in your box.

789
00:40:24.480 --> 00:40:26.600
They won't be of any use to you

790
00:40:26.600 --> 00:40:27.920
if when they look in the mirror,

791
00:40:27.920 --> 00:40:30.280
if when you look at them, you see yourself.

792
00:40:33.940 --> 00:40:36.340
So track with me.

793
00:40:36.340 --> 00:40:37.900
This is not a fight for him.

794
00:40:37.900 --> 00:40:40.180
This is not me contesting for him.

795
00:40:40.180 --> 00:40:42.900
If you decided you don't wanna be with him,

796
00:40:42.900 --> 00:40:43.740
you don't have to be.

797
00:40:43.740 --> 00:40:46.240
I believe this experience is serving you

798
00:40:46.240 --> 00:40:47.540
more than you could count it,

799
00:40:47.540 --> 00:40:49.320
like you could ever imagine.

800
00:40:50.780 --> 00:40:53.500
I'm happy for you to be on this journey with him.

801
00:40:53.500 --> 00:40:55.820
I'm happy that you're getting to do this relationship

802
00:40:55.840 --> 00:40:58.800
with a person who is keeping you safe,

803
00:40:58.800 --> 00:41:01.920
who is honoring you, who doesn't dishonor you,

804
00:41:01.920 --> 00:41:03.920
who's not trying to pull you out the path

805
00:41:03.920 --> 00:41:07.760
that God has called you to, right?

806
00:41:07.760 --> 00:41:10.360
That you can have conversations with.

807
00:41:10.360 --> 00:41:13.200
This is a wonderful experience for you,

808
00:41:13.200 --> 00:41:15.440
but I really do want you to hear heaven

809
00:41:15.440 --> 00:41:19.000
about heaven's negotiables, non-negotiables for your life.

810
00:41:20.360 --> 00:41:23.040
And then I want you to, if you want to,

811
00:41:23.040 --> 00:41:25.900
if you will sit with this and see if it resonates with you

812
00:41:25.900 --> 00:41:27.540
and this for any, like, Lord,

813
00:41:27.540 --> 00:41:31.220
who have you built me to be a helpmate for?

814
00:41:32.980 --> 00:41:34.700
Because see, that is a different question

815
00:41:34.700 --> 00:41:36.580
than who's gonna come and fit in my life

816
00:41:36.580 --> 00:41:38.180
and who's gonna do ministry with me

817
00:41:38.180 --> 00:41:40.100
and who's gonna be what I need them to be

818
00:41:40.100 --> 00:41:41.060
and how they're gonna align

819
00:41:41.060 --> 00:41:43.240
with what I think is best for life.

820
00:41:43.240 --> 00:41:44.080
But heaven is saying,

821
00:41:44.080 --> 00:41:47.060
I created marriage in my order and in my way.

822
00:41:48.300 --> 00:41:52.740
And so God, who have you built me to help?

823
00:41:53.980 --> 00:41:56.220
And so a lot of times when we forget

824
00:41:56.220 --> 00:41:58.900
that we're called to be helpmates,

825
00:41:58.900 --> 00:42:00.820
because when you help the husband,

826
00:42:00.820 --> 00:42:03.200
the husband makes space and capacity for you.

827
00:42:03.200 --> 00:42:04.720
That's just the cycle.

828
00:42:04.720 --> 00:42:05.900
That's just the order.

829
00:42:05.900 --> 00:42:07.020
That's how it goes.

830
00:42:07.020 --> 00:42:08.900
There's no married woman who didn't come in

831
00:42:08.900 --> 00:42:10.300
and didn't help her husband,

832
00:42:11.380 --> 00:42:12.740
who didn't come and help build him.

833
00:42:12.740 --> 00:42:15.260
The Bible says that when a man find a wife,

834
00:42:15.260 --> 00:42:19.500
he finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord

835
00:42:19.500 --> 00:42:22.720
because she is his favor before the Lord.

836
00:42:23.860 --> 00:42:25.980
She undergirds him.

837
00:42:25.980 --> 00:42:28.180
And it's not to no point.

838
00:42:28.180 --> 00:42:30.660
It's not that she's his doorstep.

839
00:42:30.660 --> 00:42:33.220
When she does it, it actually builds her up.

840
00:42:33.220 --> 00:42:34.720
It esteems her.

841
00:42:36.860 --> 00:42:40.540
So ask everyone, ask heaven,

842
00:42:40.540 --> 00:42:43.420
what non-negotiables do you have for me?

843
00:42:44.300 --> 00:42:47.800
This is what I mean when I talk about the way your matters.

844
00:42:49.020 --> 00:42:52.780
And who have you built my hands to help?

845
00:42:53.520 --> 00:42:54.720
Whose helpmate am I?

846
00:42:57.640 --> 00:42:59.960
Because help goes both ways.

847
00:43:02.080 --> 00:43:05.000
By your eyes, we can look and judge a man

848
00:43:05.000 --> 00:43:08.280
if he's somewhere preaching, if he's laying hands on,

849
00:43:08.280 --> 00:43:10.880
he can hear, if he's praying, if he's this.

850
00:43:10.880 --> 00:43:13.120
When the anointing is on a man, he looks good,

851
00:43:13.120 --> 00:43:15.040
but the anointing on the man does not speak

852
00:43:15.040 --> 00:43:16.320
for the heart of the man.

853
00:43:16.320 --> 00:43:18.100
They are two different things.

854
00:43:18.100 --> 00:43:21.720
And no one knows the heart of the man but the Lord.

855
00:43:23.760 --> 00:43:28.360
And so the judgment of the measure that we use

856
00:43:28.360 --> 00:43:29.620
can fall so short.

857
00:43:29.620 --> 00:43:32.680
I don't care how holy and wonderful it sounds.

858
00:43:35.040 --> 00:43:38.060
It's of no regard because you can't see five years,

859
00:43:38.060 --> 00:43:39.860
10 years, 15 years.

860
00:43:39.860 --> 00:43:42.740
You can't see how you're gonna be sharpened

861
00:43:42.740 --> 00:43:45.140
and molded and shaped and transformed.

862
00:43:46.400 --> 00:43:48.920
You can't see what you fully bring to the table

863
00:43:48.920 --> 00:43:49.760
10 years from now,

864
00:43:49.760 --> 00:43:51.900
nor can you see what that person will bring to the table.

865
00:43:51.900 --> 00:43:53.700
Somebody can be everything you want them

866
00:43:53.700 --> 00:43:55.260
to be spiritually right now.

867
00:43:55.260 --> 00:43:57.300
And in 10 years, they could toss God to the side

868
00:43:57.300 --> 00:43:58.300
and turn their back.

869
00:43:59.660 --> 00:44:00.720
That's true.

870
00:44:00.720 --> 00:44:02.220
Plenty of people have done it.

871
00:44:04.380 --> 00:44:06.060
They didn't start out that way.

872
00:44:06.060 --> 00:44:09.180
I know lots of people whose husbands

873
00:44:09.180 --> 00:44:10.300
turned their backs on God.

874
00:44:10.300 --> 00:44:12.060
It was 10 years before they got back on track.

875
00:44:12.060 --> 00:44:15.000
Powerful people now, but there was her husband

876
00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:15.840
what she gonna do?

877
00:44:15.840 --> 00:44:17.860
Say, I ain't gonna stay married to you no more.

878
00:44:18.740 --> 00:44:21.940
So, I know I didn't let you finish.

879
00:44:21.940 --> 00:44:24.020
You can still finish Nadine,

880
00:44:24.020 --> 00:44:26.380
but I don't feel like get you.

881
00:44:29.180 --> 00:44:34.180
No, I will say, I feel like in just these last few weeks,

882
00:44:34.980 --> 00:44:39.300
I've had so much refining and I am seeing a lot of red flags,

883
00:44:39.300 --> 00:44:40.700
but I'm not seeing them in him.

884
00:44:40.700 --> 00:44:41.940
I'm seeing them in me.

885
00:44:41.940 --> 00:44:46.780
And I think I'm very uncomfortable in some ways

886
00:44:46.780 --> 00:44:47.620
and it's good.

887
00:44:48.380 --> 00:44:50.820
I wanna be stretched, but at the same time,

888
00:44:50.820 --> 00:44:52.860
some of this stuff is hard to comprehend.

889
00:44:52.860 --> 00:44:55.880
I literally just went through almost all the New Testament

890
00:44:55.880 --> 00:44:58.460
to pull out these things about holiness.

891
00:44:58.460 --> 00:45:00.260
And I think there's still a strong.

892
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:08.400
that has to be broken. But yeah. Listen, holiness is a posture of the heart

893
00:45:09.280 --> 00:45:14.480
and your works can't get you to holiness. I don't care how many scriptures you pull out,

894
00:45:15.680 --> 00:45:22.080
just like you can't make yourself hungry for God. Hunger is supernatural. You can seek him,

895
00:45:22.080 --> 00:45:26.720
you can be steadfast, you can be diligent because he rewards those who diligently seek him.

896
00:45:27.680 --> 00:45:32.080
But his presence don't come until he releases it. He doesn't show his face till he show his face

897
00:45:32.080 --> 00:45:36.960
and you sit at his feet. You're going to sit for a while before it comes, but he is the great reward.

898
00:45:39.680 --> 00:45:48.000
And I know that, I know that you are excellent at following rules and it's a wonderful thing.

899
00:45:48.000 --> 00:45:52.800
It's nothing wrong with it. You find safety in that. And I'm not trying to pull you away from

900
00:45:52.880 --> 00:45:58.560
safety, but because you are designed this way, it's going to be very important that you get

901
00:45:58.560 --> 00:46:03.680
your non-negotiables from heaven. That's going to be even more important for you

902
00:46:03.680 --> 00:46:10.480
because your rule follower, you are less likely to bend and marriage requires a lot of bendability.

903
00:46:13.600 --> 00:46:20.000
It's just the nature of it. You're not leaving space for what God designed a wife to be.

904
00:46:20.960 --> 00:46:23.760
No, you want perfection and that's with Christ.

905
00:46:26.560 --> 00:46:31.840
And the more you realize it for yourself, the greater aware you become of you,

906
00:46:32.800 --> 00:46:36.800
the more, the less you will require of someone else to make you feel safe

907
00:46:37.600 --> 00:46:41.680
because you would have found your safety and surety in Christ.

908
00:46:43.200 --> 00:46:47.440
And then you walk into, this is your journey into being God defended.

909
00:46:50.800 --> 00:46:55.120
And so, you know, that was patient of him to have that conversation with you.

910
00:46:55.760 --> 00:47:01.280
But this man gets to choose in his own house, what he watches, what he drinks, what he eats.

911
00:47:02.000 --> 00:47:06.800
Do you want a drunkard at your table? No, I'm sure that you don't. I'm not insinuating that.

912
00:47:06.800 --> 00:47:10.480
So don't take me where my heart is not going or my words are not going,

913
00:47:10.480 --> 00:47:12.880
but this is an adult. He's not your child.

914
00:47:12.880 --> 00:47:19.920
And so then it be said at that point, then it'd be said at that point, then, okay, if you are going

915
00:47:19.920 --> 00:47:23.680
to not, we're not talking about witchcraft. You said for the most part, you believe y'all

916
00:47:23.680 --> 00:47:29.360
are on the same page. Okay. It'll make you feel better if he said what you wanted to hear.

917
00:47:29.360 --> 00:47:32.240
I think you should honor him for not saying what you want to hear.

918
00:47:35.760 --> 00:47:39.440
Because he knows it would be better if he just said what you want to hear, but he won't say it.

919
00:47:39.440 --> 00:47:43.280
Because he knows it would be better if he just said what you want to hear, but he won't do that

920
00:47:43.280 --> 00:47:48.880
for you. Because once you marry him and he watch you, what you going to do? Go get a divorce?

921
00:47:50.400 --> 00:47:59.920
I know you ain't. So it's better to look at things realistically. So if he does like action movie,

922
00:47:59.920 --> 00:48:05.600
and he does like to watch when they go in and shoot them up because they did the people wrong,

923
00:48:05.600 --> 00:48:12.480
everybody's going to die today. Well, I asked that you do this in your man cave. I asked that

924
00:48:12.480 --> 00:48:19.360
you do this in your, you know, in some way that's just for you where you're not around or your son

925
00:48:19.360 --> 00:48:23.600
is not around because you don't want to expose yourself to that. And you may say, I don't even

926
00:48:23.600 --> 00:48:26.720
want them spirits in my house. Oh, it's going to be something in your house that you're going to

927
00:48:26.720 --> 00:48:31.520
have to pray for. You need to pray anyway. You're going to be praying, pray it on out of there.

928
00:48:31.520 --> 00:48:39.440
You got the spirit in you, deal with it, right? Or say, Hey, can you go to the movies and watch it?

929
00:48:41.040 --> 00:48:44.720
Or, you know, like there are so many things that you could do to deal with it

930
00:48:45.520 --> 00:48:48.880
because you realize that you're joining with another person.

931
00:48:50.560 --> 00:48:54.560
And so if it's not movies and books, it's going to be something that's different, Nadine.

932
00:48:55.200 --> 00:48:59.840
And so what you want to look for is your, especially when you're basically on the same

933
00:48:59.840 --> 00:49:03.440
page, like this man is committed to righteousness. You know, you got a Holy

934
00:49:03.440 --> 00:49:08.320
spirit that's going to work for you too. Now, right. He can bring conviction. Now you can't,

935
00:49:08.320 --> 00:49:15.120
but he can, he, you can bring guilt and manipulation. That's what you can bring.

936
00:49:16.640 --> 00:49:20.400
Holy spirit brings conviction that leads them to repentance.

937
00:49:20.400 --> 00:49:25.280
But what I was trying to say is this is going to have to be worked out that way in a lot of areas.

938
00:49:25.600 --> 00:49:31.360
And so there are weightier matters at hand. I'm not telling you to brush this on the road,

939
00:49:31.360 --> 00:49:36.400
but how about you take this and say, what can we do to show yourself that you are marriage minded?

940
00:49:38.880 --> 00:49:44.480
That I do want to do life with someone. And, Oh, I think we got a little thing about movies.

941
00:49:44.480 --> 00:49:47.200
Let's see what we can do. How can we work this out?

942
00:49:47.280 --> 00:49:50.000
Okay. So not trying to beat a dead horse.

943
00:49:52.560 --> 00:49:56.000
Don't please do the homework I gave you. I would like to hear heaven's negotiation.

944
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.280
non-negotiables for your life.

945
00:50:03.280 --> 00:50:05.080
I will, thank you.

946
00:50:05.080 --> 00:50:07.720
Do you mind to touch really quick on just

947
00:50:07.720 --> 00:50:09.520
him having a lot of the feminine friends

948
00:50:09.520 --> 00:50:10.840
or like female friends?

949
00:50:10.840 --> 00:50:12.920
Well, you said they didn't bother you.

950
00:50:12.920 --> 00:50:14.520
It doesn't bother me.

951
00:50:14.520 --> 00:50:17.760
I actually like it because, you know, as a single mom,

952
00:50:17.760 --> 00:50:19.880
I probably will be wanting to care

953
00:50:19.880 --> 00:50:22.340
for a lot of single moms and he has that heart.

954
00:50:22.340 --> 00:50:24.660
So I like that, but I just,

955
00:50:24.660 --> 00:50:28.560
because he doesn't have strong guy community around him.

956
00:50:28.560 --> 00:50:30.000
It's just one of those, which he's,

957
00:50:30.000 --> 00:50:33.320
he did say that's something that he wants.

958
00:50:34.680 --> 00:50:35.520
So.

959
00:50:35.520 --> 00:50:38.840
Men more easily like to be around the nurturing,

960
00:50:38.840 --> 00:50:40.980
the feminine energy of a woman.

961
00:50:42.080 --> 00:50:46.960
And they do have a hard time building community with men.

962
00:50:46.960 --> 00:50:48.800
That's just a real thing.

963
00:50:49.680 --> 00:50:51.440
But when you guys go exclusive,

964
00:50:51.440 --> 00:50:54.000
before you say yes to exclusivity,

965
00:50:54.000 --> 00:50:55.360
you can tell him that's something

966
00:50:55.360 --> 00:50:56.560
you would like to see change

967
00:50:56.560 --> 00:50:59.840
and you can create a plan on how that's going to change.

968
00:50:59.840 --> 00:51:00.680
Okay.

969
00:51:00.680 --> 00:51:02.360
And so if, hey, it's time to have,

970
00:51:02.360 --> 00:51:05.080
because y'all are almost at 90 days, I'm sure.

971
00:51:05.080 --> 00:51:06.140
Really close.

972
00:51:07.500 --> 00:51:09.800
What you will say then at that point is,

973
00:51:12.960 --> 00:51:14.640
I'm sorry, I saw somebody else,

974
00:51:14.640 --> 00:51:16.080
he ain't come up, I ain't write down.

975
00:51:16.080 --> 00:51:17.520
What you want to say at that point is,

976
00:51:17.520 --> 00:51:18.800
yes, I want to go exclusive.

977
00:51:18.800 --> 00:51:19.640
I don't know what you're going to say.

978
00:51:19.640 --> 00:51:22.440
If you say no, but if you say yes, I'll go exclusive.

979
00:51:22.440 --> 00:51:23.560
When I go exclusive,

980
00:51:23.560 --> 00:51:26.100
now I start evaluating you as a spouse.

981
00:51:27.100 --> 00:51:30.440
And one thing that I'm not as comfortable with

982
00:51:30.440 --> 00:51:33.040
is the number of female friends that you have,

983
00:51:33.040 --> 00:51:37.080
but more so the amount of male community that you have.

984
00:51:37.080 --> 00:51:40.800
This is something that I would like to see increase.

985
00:51:40.800 --> 00:51:43.800
And so let's just say over the next two months,

986
00:51:43.800 --> 00:51:46.520
you will, with intentionality,

987
00:51:46.520 --> 00:51:49.860
seek out some male community.

988
00:51:50.880 --> 00:51:51.720
Yeah.

989
00:51:53.360 --> 00:51:54.360
Thank you.

990
00:51:54.360 --> 00:51:55.200
You're welcome.

991
00:51:56.960 --> 00:51:58.120
Okay, Rachel.

992
00:52:01.160 --> 00:52:03.640
Yes, Ebony, I have a question.

993
00:52:03.640 --> 00:52:05.120
Yes.

994
00:52:05.120 --> 00:52:06.800
When you're talking about marriage-minded,

995
00:52:06.800 --> 00:52:09.160
one of the things that come up for me is,

996
00:52:10.120 --> 00:52:12.440
I feel like I'm moving in a different direction,

997
00:52:12.440 --> 00:52:17.300
like career-wise and path-wise.

998
00:52:18.360 --> 00:52:20.680
Right now I'm currently in education

999
00:52:20.680 --> 00:52:24.120
and I'm preparing to leave.

1000
00:52:26.640 --> 00:52:31.640
And I think there is a fear in my heart

1001
00:52:31.840 --> 00:52:36.840
around dating and not having that surety,

1002
00:52:38.000 --> 00:52:39.000
if that makes sense.

1003
00:52:39.000 --> 00:52:41.000
Surety in the sense of,

1004
00:52:41.000 --> 00:52:43.760
okay, I don't know what the path is

1005
00:52:43.760 --> 00:52:45.120
necessarily with my career.

1006
00:52:45.120 --> 00:52:46.280
I mean, I'm exploring things.

1007
00:52:46.280 --> 00:52:48.480
There are things that are in my heart.

1008
00:52:48.480 --> 00:52:53.480
I'm taking classes, but it's not like a tomorrow thing

1009
00:52:53.600 --> 00:52:55.640
because I feel like I'm moving into healthcare

1010
00:52:55.640 --> 00:52:59.680
and it's gonna take time to finalize a product,

1011
00:52:59.680 --> 00:53:03.640
if that makes sense, to get to the final end to that.

1012
00:53:03.640 --> 00:53:07.200
And I think that there's a fear in my heart

1013
00:53:07.200 --> 00:53:10.200
when you're talking about marriage-minded,

1014
00:53:10.200 --> 00:53:11.840
the sense of like,

1015
00:53:11.840 --> 00:53:15.080
oh, since I don't have clarity about that,

1016
00:53:15.080 --> 00:53:20.080
I feel like there is a holding back in my heart of like,

1017
00:53:20.280 --> 00:53:24.480
oh, if I'm not so sure,

1018
00:53:24.560 --> 00:53:26.680
do I really want to?

1019
00:53:26.680 --> 00:53:28.120
I know dating is for discovery.

1020
00:53:28.120 --> 00:53:30.080
I'm not diminishing that at all,

1021
00:53:30.080 --> 00:53:31.760
but I feel like that in my heart,

1022
00:53:31.760 --> 00:53:34.720
there is still this tension of like,

1023
00:53:36.360 --> 00:53:38.240
yes, if I'm moving into this thing,

1024
00:53:38.240 --> 00:53:42.400
that's gonna, it might take longer than I,

1025
00:53:42.400 --> 00:53:45.480
it's probably gonna take at least four years, you know?

1026
00:53:45.480 --> 00:53:48.080
And although I don't have the clarity yet,

1027
00:53:48.080 --> 00:53:51.520
I'm still speaking with the Lord

1028
00:53:51.520 --> 00:53:53.480
and figuring out what my desires are

1029
00:53:53.480 --> 00:53:55.000
because it might be medical school,

1030
00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:57.360
it might be becoming a psychologist.

1031
00:53:57.360 --> 00:53:59.320
Like I know it's healthcare,

1032
00:53:59.320 --> 00:54:02.160
I just don't know which one yet.

1033
00:54:02.160 --> 00:54:06.120
So that's where I'm, does that make sense?

1034
00:54:06.120 --> 00:54:10.600
Like I'm marriage-minded, yes, I want to be married,

1035
00:54:10.600 --> 00:54:15.360
but there's this hold back in my heart of like,

1036
00:54:15.360 --> 00:54:19.000
ooh, if I, what does that look like if I throw into this?

1037
00:54:19.000 --> 00:54:21.120
And does that make sense?

1038
00:54:21.120 --> 00:54:23.800
So it makes sense and I understand.

1039
00:54:23.800 --> 00:54:26.960
So what I hear you saying is I wanna switch careers,

1040
00:54:26.960 --> 00:54:28.560
but I know if I switch that career,

1041
00:54:28.560 --> 00:54:31.080
it's gonna demand more time of me,

1042
00:54:31.080 --> 00:54:33.400
which would give me less capacity to date.

1043
00:54:33.400 --> 00:54:34.680
And I don't wanna choose something

1044
00:54:34.680 --> 00:54:36.400
that's gonna take away from me dating

1045
00:54:36.400 --> 00:54:39.000
because I am marriage-minded and I wanna be married.

1046
00:54:40.040 --> 00:54:43.520
Yes, but also just the sense of like,

1047
00:54:44.960 --> 00:54:47.520
if you're dating, the point is to get married, right?

1048
00:54:47.520 --> 00:54:50.280
You're not just dating for the sake of dating forever.

1049
00:54:50.320 --> 00:54:55.320
So being in that in-between place of like,

1050
00:54:55.520 --> 00:54:59.240
okay, do I just drop the transition?

1051
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.600
Does that make sense?

1052
00:55:01.600 --> 00:55:06.820
I'm having a hard time expressing what I'm trying to say, but I just feel like there's

1053
00:55:06.820 --> 00:55:13.940
a hold back in my heart and I don't want that to stop me from even trying to do the challenges

1054
00:55:13.940 --> 00:55:16.260
and go on dates.

1055
00:55:16.260 --> 00:55:19.300
But it is in my heart, I can't ignore it.

1056
00:55:19.300 --> 00:55:20.300
Right.

1057
00:55:20.300 --> 00:55:24.900
And so I'm going to answer you and then if this response doesn't meet what you were explaining,

1058
00:55:24.900 --> 00:55:26.820
then you share more with me.

1059
00:55:26.820 --> 00:55:30.300
I don't believe that you have to drop one for the other.

1060
00:55:30.300 --> 00:55:35.660
I believe that you should continue in the path that you're headed and do whatever you're

1061
00:55:35.660 --> 00:55:37.100
going to do.

1062
00:55:37.100 --> 00:55:42.340
Because ideally, I would like to see you married next year whenever you would like to be married,

1063
00:55:42.340 --> 00:55:50.700
but neither you or I know the timeline that heaven has set aside for your love story.

1064
00:55:50.700 --> 00:55:55.540
And in him, you don't have to have one or the other.

1065
00:55:55.540 --> 00:55:58.740
The father does it all.

1066
00:55:58.740 --> 00:56:03.060
You can be in medical school and get married.

1067
00:56:03.060 --> 00:56:04.700
You may say, well, I'm not going to have time to date.

1068
00:56:04.700 --> 00:56:05.700
I don't know.

1069
00:56:05.700 --> 00:56:07.140
You may have time for a study partner.

1070
00:56:07.140 --> 00:56:10.100
You never know who that might turn out to be.

1071
00:56:10.100 --> 00:56:11.780
Right.

1072
00:56:11.780 --> 00:56:14.420
So the possibilities are endless.

1073
00:56:14.420 --> 00:56:17.700
You don't know where you're headed, but you can't stay where you are.

1074
00:56:17.700 --> 00:56:20.100
There is purpose on your life.

1075
00:56:20.100 --> 00:56:23.980
And the first fulfillment is within Rachel.

1076
00:56:23.980 --> 00:56:28.500
Your first call is as unto God, seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and his righteousness.

1077
00:56:28.500 --> 00:56:30.460
All these things will be added unto you.

1078
00:56:30.460 --> 00:56:32.620
And so the addition is coming.

1079
00:56:32.620 --> 00:56:36.020
And so if you're walking out of one place and the Lord is leading your foot and feet

1080
00:56:36.020 --> 00:56:39.380
into another place, go where the Lord is leading you.

1081
00:56:39.380 --> 00:56:42.340
Because it's in those places, you don't know whose sister you're going to meet in medical

1082
00:56:42.340 --> 00:56:45.700
school, who's this you're going to meet somewhere.

1083
00:56:45.700 --> 00:56:52.300
And so it's just the chances are more in your favor than they are against you.

1084
00:56:52.300 --> 00:56:55.380
And you're not going to look up four years after you spent four years in medical school

1085
00:56:55.380 --> 00:56:58.220
and lost more of your life and you're still not married.

1086
00:56:58.220 --> 00:56:59.340
I disagree with that.

1087
00:56:59.340 --> 00:57:02.860
I believe when we partner with heaven, God always gives us the best.

1088
00:57:02.860 --> 00:57:04.620
He is good all the time.

1089
00:57:04.620 --> 00:57:06.580
And that is the mindset that we have to have.

1090
00:57:06.580 --> 00:57:11.540
And if he's not moving right now in this area, the way we want it, then we ask him, where

1091
00:57:11.540 --> 00:57:17.180
is your hand and where are you moving so I can get on board?

1092
00:57:17.180 --> 00:57:19.540
Because you want to be where his hand is moving.

1093
00:57:19.540 --> 00:57:21.340
Because that's where the favor lies for you.

1094
00:57:21.340 --> 00:57:22.500
The goodness lies for you.

1095
00:57:22.500 --> 00:57:25.820
The fulfillment is in that thing.

1096
00:57:25.820 --> 00:57:30.220
Because what I would want to see you do, if I had to process it, you knew you were called

1097
00:57:30.220 --> 00:57:31.660
to do something different.

1098
00:57:31.660 --> 00:57:35.500
You met somebody tomorrow, you got married, and then all of a sudden you never fulfilled

1099
00:57:35.500 --> 00:57:38.940
that thing, but it was in your heart and you know God called you to it.

1100
00:57:38.940 --> 00:57:42.100
And so there are so many ways you can process that out.

1101
00:57:42.100 --> 00:57:47.100
But my thing is, if there's a green light, go until the Lord gives you a red light.

1102
00:57:47.100 --> 00:57:49.900
And that's in any area he wants to grow in your life.

1103
00:57:51.900 --> 00:57:53.300
That makes sense.

1104
00:57:53.300 --> 00:57:57.860
So I think part of it, as you're talking, I think part of it, and I'm processing it

1105
00:57:57.860 --> 00:58:00.700
with you, I think part of it is that uncertainty.

1106
00:58:00.700 --> 00:58:06.180
I think that's where, I think that's the real, if I can put my finger on it, I think it's

1107
00:58:06.180 --> 00:58:10.980
the uncertainty of, oh, I don't know, am I going to be married next year?

1108
00:58:10.980 --> 00:58:15.020
Am I going to be like, I think the uncertainty, am I going to get into medical school?

1109
00:58:15.020 --> 00:58:16.020
I don't know.

1110
00:58:17.020 --> 00:58:20.180
Is it going to be, you know, psychology?

1111
00:58:20.180 --> 00:58:25.620
I think that's what, I think that's where I need to spend time in praying about.

1112
00:58:25.620 --> 00:58:31.060
And I think you gave me a word of wisdom to just, you know, keep with the dating, keep

1113
00:58:31.060 --> 00:58:36.980
processing with, you know, getting the classes and keep going the path and wherever, you

1114
00:58:36.980 --> 00:58:44.220
know, if the Lord has to stop me, he'll redirect me, but I don't need to worry so much about

1115
00:58:44.420 --> 00:58:45.420
the end product.

1116
00:58:45.420 --> 00:58:46.420
Okay.

1117
00:58:46.420 --> 00:58:47.420
No, you just need to go.

1118
00:58:47.420 --> 00:58:48.420
You have a green light.

1119
00:58:48.420 --> 00:58:49.420
Just go.

1120
00:58:49.420 --> 00:58:50.420
Okay.

1121
00:58:50.420 --> 00:58:51.420
That's good.

1122
00:58:51.420 --> 00:58:52.420
Thank you.

1123
00:58:52.420 --> 00:58:53.420
You're welcome.

1124
00:58:53.420 --> 00:58:54.420
All right.

1125
00:58:54.420 --> 00:58:55.420
Kelly.

1126
00:58:55.420 --> 00:58:56.420
I mean, no.

1127
00:58:56.420 --> 00:58:57.420
Yes.

1128
00:58:57.420 --> 00:58:58.420
Lauren.

1129
00:58:58.420 --> 00:58:59.420
Sorry.

1130
00:58:59.420 --> 00:59:00.420
Lauren.

1131
00:59:00.420 --> 00:59:01.420
Hey, Lauren.

1132
00:59:01.420 --> 00:59:02.420
Hi, Ebony.

1133
00:59:02.420 --> 00:59:03.420
Hey.

1134
00:59:03.420 --> 00:59:10.260
So the main thing I kind of wanted to talk about, I had posted it in the group almost

1135
00:59:10.260 --> 00:59:11.660
a couple of weeks ago.

1136
00:59:11.660 --> 00:59:12.660
What?

1137
00:59:12.820 --> 00:59:16.540
No, you had responded about that dream that I had had.

1138
00:59:16.540 --> 00:59:17.540
Yes.

1139
00:59:17.540 --> 00:59:20.380
I said, I'm sorry.

1140
00:59:20.380 --> 00:59:25.420
It has been so long since that feels like it's been so long since that happened.

1141
00:59:25.420 --> 00:59:30.100
But last week I was not feeling well, so I wasn't able to really stay on the call.

1142
00:59:30.100 --> 00:59:31.900
And it was a Wednesday that I had posted it.

1143
00:59:31.900 --> 00:59:38.060
So this is the next time after last Tuesday when I couldn't do it because I was not feeling

1144
00:59:38.060 --> 00:59:39.060
well.

1145
00:59:39.060 --> 00:59:40.060
Okay.

1146
00:59:40.180 --> 00:59:47.380
But we were talking about you wanting me to talk about more with that dream, since it

1147
00:59:47.380 --> 00:59:54.980
was about the long dead having rising and all of...

1148
00:59:54.980 --> 00:59:58.940
Well, I got to remember, it was a really good dream, though.

1149
00:59:58.940 --> 01:00:00.020
I thought it was feel...

1150
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:09.520
it was yeah it it felt and I normally don't either have dreams or if I do have dreams in the night I

1151
01:00:09.520 --> 01:00:15.920
don't remember what they are and so the fact that it was it has been this you know has stayed with

1152
01:00:15.920 --> 01:00:21.360
me and stuff I mean I have written the stuff and stuff from it down too so that's of course part

1153
01:00:21.360 --> 01:00:29.120
of it but the fact that it has been so impactful I think is also the holy spirit on it

1154
01:00:30.080 --> 01:00:38.960
but basically to talk about what the dream was I was like watching on

1155
01:00:39.680 --> 01:00:48.560
the tv in my living room and it was like Downton Abbey um I've never seen Downton Abbey none of

1156
01:00:48.560 --> 01:00:53.280
it so it's not because it was you know watching too much of that and letting things come into my

1157
01:00:53.280 --> 01:01:04.800
mind um and in the dream the both you know that I don't since I haven't seen it I don't know

1158
01:01:04.800 --> 01:01:14.640
who she is on the show but um Maggie Smith who had died a couple of years ago was the Dowager

1159
01:01:15.280 --> 01:01:21.680
Countess lady on the show apparently or I believe Countess I'm not sure exactly what she was

1160
01:01:22.320 --> 01:01:28.800
but she was on there and in the dream both she and her husband who obviously was the old

1161
01:01:31.760 --> 01:01:38.880
lord of the manor had died and then the family was mourning the two

1162
01:01:41.600 --> 01:01:51.280
dead patriarch and matriarch of the family and in the dream there was like in a kind of a

1163
01:01:51.680 --> 01:02:01.200
almost like a mausoleum and the over the where the bodies were there was it was like a glass

1164
01:02:01.200 --> 01:02:09.040
coffin kind of like almost out of no white or something like that so you could you know see

1165
01:02:09.920 --> 01:02:18.880
where the bodies were and they were of course mourning going through all of that and then

1166
01:02:18.880 --> 01:02:26.320
they left and went out of the main part of the room to another area or something and

1167
01:02:27.040 --> 01:02:36.640
there was a big crash and then they were all running back into the room and both the old

1168
01:02:37.920 --> 01:02:47.680
lord and then lady were both back alive and they were standing there laughing you know

1169
01:02:47.680 --> 01:02:54.960
hugging each other since they were both together and alive and it was you know of course amazement

1170
01:02:55.600 --> 01:03:02.160
for the family both of these people these lost loved ones are back alive

1171
01:03:04.800 --> 01:03:13.280
in the dream I was like I said sitting on my couch and out of my window in the dream still

1172
01:03:14.000 --> 01:03:24.400
there was a big strong wind almost like there was a big storm coming through and I interpreted that

1173
01:03:25.040 --> 01:03:31.520
was like you know the wind of the lord the breath of the lord coming through and then I had woken

1174
01:03:31.520 --> 01:03:40.000
up that was the end of the dream after the the wind the breath of the lord came through outside my

1175
01:03:40.000 --> 01:03:50.640
window yeah and have you had any more revelation of it um I mean I had had revelation about you

1176
01:03:50.640 --> 01:03:58.080
know that both of these figures that were dead were had been dead for a long time so kind of

1177
01:03:58.080 --> 01:04:04.080
going back to what Jackie had talked about that previous weekend on Supernatural Saturday about

1178
01:04:04.640 --> 01:04:13.520
not just immediately dead rising that even dreams and things that are long dead having risen because

1179
01:04:14.480 --> 01:04:22.480
of that and then of course the stuff with the wind breath of the lord um I haven't really

1180
01:04:23.920 --> 01:04:27.520
had you know too much else besides just you know the

1181
01:04:27.600 --> 01:04:41.840
the initial joy and things of the amazement of the dead being back to life and the all of them

1182
01:04:41.840 --> 01:04:49.200
you know being back together and the fact that it was a husband and wife that had both kind of you

1183
01:04:49.200 --> 01:04:56.160
know felt also significant to me I don't want to try to make things into what they're not but

1184
01:04:56.160 --> 01:04:59.920
oh well the thing about it is when you get

1185
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.920
dream from the Lord. He's giving it to you so you can explore. He's inviting you into a realm with

1186
01:05:05.920 --> 01:05:12.560
him. He's saying, come in. Yeah. He's not, he's not concerned about you doing something or this

1187
01:05:12.560 --> 01:05:16.960
is, I just want you to know the Lord is inviting you to come into a place. And so have you been

1188
01:05:16.960 --> 01:05:23.360
praying into this dream? I have been trying to pray about it. I need to be, you know, a little

1189
01:05:23.360 --> 01:05:31.280
bit, spend a little bit more time. What are you praying? If he has more to reveal about it.

1190
01:05:32.400 --> 01:05:38.080
I want to encourage you to go and read Ezekiel when he had the encounter with the Lord. And he

1191
01:05:38.080 --> 01:05:41.440
asked him, he's talking about the house of Israel, but he said, could these dry bones live? He said,

1192
01:05:41.440 --> 01:05:44.880
Lord, God, you know, he told him to speak to the dry bones. He said, can some, some, some,

1193
01:05:44.880 --> 01:05:49.840
then the sinews and the flesh came on the, the wind of God came and put breath into their bones.

1194
01:05:49.840 --> 01:05:55.520
I want you to read that. And then I want you to take every dead place in your life and write it

1195
01:05:55.520 --> 01:06:01.760
down. And I want you to begin to declare every day over those dead things in your life that the

1196
01:06:01.760 --> 01:06:07.120
breath of God will come and breathe into it. I want you so much to ask Holy Spirit. I want you

1197
01:06:07.120 --> 01:06:13.040
to say, Holy Spirit, what is dead in my life? Even the things I don't know, show them to me.

1198
01:06:13.040 --> 01:06:16.480
And I want you to take some time. It could be over the next few days, but whatever you get,

1199
01:06:16.480 --> 01:06:20.640
start writing it down. After you read that, I want you to grab one of those scriptures.

1200
01:06:20.640 --> 01:06:25.200
And I give you every day, you're going to be consistent in it. Set yourself for 30 days,

1201
01:06:26.480 --> 01:06:31.040
10 days. I just want to see some consistency. It ain't gotta be 30 days. You can do 10 days,

1202
01:06:31.040 --> 01:06:36.400
but be consistent. And it's going to sound like this. Say, Lord, you told Ezekiel, you asked him

1203
01:06:36.400 --> 01:06:41.600
if these dry bones could live. And he said, Lord God, you know. And so Lord God, I say right now,

1204
01:06:41.600 --> 01:06:46.800
as I lay these dead bones in front of you, you know they could live. So I pray right now that

1205
01:06:46.800 --> 01:06:51.200
your wind will come the same way it came in my dream and bring everything dead back to life.

1206
01:06:51.200 --> 01:06:55.760
I declare that my confidence is coming back to life. I declare that the union and the marriage

1207
01:06:55.760 --> 01:07:00.880
that you have for me is alive. It is not dead. I declare. So you're going to start declaring the

1208
01:07:00.880 --> 01:07:05.760
wind of God over every single thing that the Holy Spirit shows you, even if he wants to bring

1209
01:07:05.760 --> 01:07:09.920
dreams back that you have forgotten about. There's so many things in our life that we don't even

1210
01:07:09.920 --> 01:07:14.880
remember. There's so many things on our design, our DNA, our blueprint from heaven that we don't

1211
01:07:14.880 --> 01:07:20.560
remember. But Holy Spirit will prophesy to us. When the Holy Spirit prophesies, it's him waking

1212
01:07:20.560 --> 01:07:25.840
up our DNA saying, don't you remember? Do you remember this? So that's what I want you to do.

1213
01:07:25.840 --> 01:07:30.800
I want you to find that word because God honors his word. And I want you to read it. I want you

1214
01:07:30.800 --> 01:07:35.600
to catch it. And then I want you to write out your list. And I want you to start declaring the wind

1215
01:07:35.600 --> 01:07:39.840
and breath of God into those dead things. And I believe that you're going to gain some traction

1216
01:07:39.840 --> 01:07:45.600
from that. I want you to come back and let me know. And if in 10 days you don't gain traction,

1217
01:07:45.600 --> 01:07:52.480
then you pray another 10 days. Okay. Yeah. Thank you, Ebony. I will. You're welcome. I'm excited.

1218
01:07:54.000 --> 01:07:54.800
Okay, Kelly.

1219
01:07:54.800 --> 01:08:05.440
You started out with patterns, determines. Can you go into that a little bit more?

1220
01:08:06.160 --> 01:08:11.680
So patterns, yeah. Patterns determine where we're headed in life. So,

1221
01:08:13.440 --> 01:08:18.560
and I even compared it with prophecy. You can have a prophecy over your life that you're going to be,

1222
01:08:18.560 --> 01:08:21.840
maybe you're going to be a mayor one day. You were supposed to be it in a year.

1223
01:08:22.399 --> 01:08:28.160
But your pattern right now, you're an addict and you've yet to come clean. What are the chances

1224
01:08:28.160 --> 01:08:33.600
that you're going to be a mayor next year if you don't get out of drugs? Right? So you have a

1225
01:08:33.600 --> 01:08:38.880
pattern of addiction. Well, that pattern is going to have to be broken before you can step into the

1226
01:08:38.880 --> 01:08:43.200
things that God has for you. God can have things for you, but as long as you believe that you're

1227
01:08:43.200 --> 01:08:50.240
not worthy, you'll never get there. We can make it as just simple as that. So your pattern of

1228
01:08:50.319 --> 01:08:55.760
unbelief and doubt will keep you out of the promises of God. The same way it did the children

1229
01:08:55.760 --> 01:08:59.920
of Israel when they were supposed to go over into the promised land. They lived in the wilderness

1230
01:08:59.920 --> 01:09:04.080
many more years longer than they should have. And the Bible says it was because of their unbelief.

1231
01:09:04.720 --> 01:09:08.800
It wasn't that the promise of God wasn't true, that the land wasn't there waiting for them,

1232
01:09:08.800 --> 01:09:12.240
but their unbelief and doubt, which was a pattern of behavior that they had,

1233
01:09:12.240 --> 01:09:14.880
it was in their heart, kept them out of the promised land.

1234
01:09:15.840 --> 01:09:22.640
Maybe that's probably even better. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Did that help? And so we want to do

1235
01:09:22.640 --> 01:09:28.800
is evaluate our patterns in life that are holding us back from the goodness of God. Things that you

1236
01:09:28.800 --> 01:09:34.560
know God would want you to have. What is that pattern? What is that belief system that we have

1237
01:09:34.560 --> 01:09:41.279
working in us? So I will say, Holy Spirit, show me any patterns that are keeping me back from the

1238
01:09:41.680 --> 01:09:48.240
abundant life you have promised me. You know, even if I think about myself and I think about

1239
01:09:48.240 --> 01:09:53.200
patterns, there's a pattern that I have. I do really good with eating, and then on the weekend,

1240
01:09:53.200 --> 01:09:55.760
I'm going to go somewhere, I'm going to have dessert. Then all of a sudden, I get dessert

1241
01:09:55.760 --> 01:09:59.840
that weekend. This is a true story. Then Monday, I want something else. On Tuesday, I want something

1242
01:09:59.840 --> 01:09:59.840


1243
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.320
and so I might end up forever starting over or I don't start, I might get picked back up by a little

1244
01:10:04.320 --> 01:10:09.600
prophet, but still that pattern is slowing me down because it's not that I don't have the ability to

1245
01:10:09.600 --> 01:10:13.840
do it. It's not that I don't have the knowledge or the wherewithal or the understanding to pull

1246
01:10:13.840 --> 01:10:19.840
these things out, but I have a pattern of going, stopping, going, stopping, going, stopping,

1247
01:10:20.800 --> 01:10:24.000
and it takes a long time to get to the other side of the street. If you go a little,

1248
01:10:24.000 --> 01:10:32.000
stop a little, go a little, stop a little, right? Yeah. I can't hear you, Kelly.

1249
01:10:34.320 --> 01:10:36.240
Sorry. Thank you. Yes, that helped.

1250
01:10:37.520 --> 01:10:40.240
Great. Yay, Mandy.

1251
01:10:46.000 --> 01:10:46.640
I'm sorry.

1252
01:10:47.920 --> 01:10:52.160
Hey, Mandy, this may not be what you want to ask about, but I want to get a little

1253
01:10:52.160 --> 01:10:56.880
declarative on this. Were you saying that there were multiple at one time or multiple

1254
01:10:59.280 --> 01:11:06.000
incidents like that one by different men or they all did this at one time to you?

1255
01:11:07.040 --> 01:11:12.160
It was multiple. It started when I was really young until college.

1256
01:11:14.000 --> 01:11:18.240
And it was all in the same offense way or they broke your heart or all the same?

1257
01:11:19.200 --> 01:11:27.360
No, just like crossing boundaries, saying no, not listening.

1258
01:11:30.480 --> 01:11:31.440
I'm sorry about that.

1259
01:11:33.760 --> 01:11:37.600
Well, yeah, but I would have liked to have considered that. I didn't have no clue,

1260
01:11:38.240 --> 01:11:42.640
but my mind had processed something I didn't. I thought it was one person.

1261
01:11:42.640 --> 01:11:47.920
It's okay. I was trying not to make the post long, so I did cut out a lot of details.

1262
01:11:48.480 --> 01:11:52.400
Just to give you the gist of why I've struggled with it. But like I said,

1263
01:11:52.400 --> 01:11:58.160
the Lord really brought it up to me just this past week. And it's interesting the timing of it

1264
01:11:58.960 --> 01:12:05.360
because I'm meeting with Justin for the first time on Saturday, and he is a white male.

1265
01:12:05.360 --> 01:12:14.960
And so I have not dated anybody white in a long time. Because like I said, it's like anybody but

1266
01:12:14.960 --> 01:12:21.200
white. That's been my thing, but I didn't realize it was because this wound was so deep with the

1267
01:12:21.200 --> 01:12:26.160
guys that took advantage of me and took my virginity and different things like that,

1268
01:12:26.160 --> 01:12:35.200
who just treated me like garbage. But anyway, so it's going to be interesting. It's going to be

1269
01:12:35.200 --> 01:12:43.600
good. I was writing down some questions about it, or questions to ask him different things. But

1270
01:12:44.320 --> 01:12:51.760
we've been talking for like a month and a half. And I met him on the Holy app, like I said,

1271
01:12:52.480 --> 01:12:58.720
but then I deleted the app because I really cannot. I can't go back to any apps. It's just

1272
01:12:58.720 --> 01:13:03.520
that is my conviction that the Lord, it's just weird. I don't know how to explain it. I'm not

1273
01:13:03.520 --> 01:13:10.720
against them. I feel like I have to justify myself because this is part of the program and I just

1274
01:13:10.720 --> 01:13:19.200
can't. Anyway, because yeah, there's just, I'm too far in my walk with God to deal with immature

1275
01:13:19.200 --> 01:13:25.440
men. And I just waste, I don't have the time to work capacity to have that many conversations

1276
01:13:25.440 --> 01:13:35.440
with people. Right. So he's the only guy I'm talking to, because I'm not on the app. I'm not

1277
01:13:35.440 --> 01:13:41.040
since he's not my type. I have this kind of guarded feeling, my heart's guarded, which is

1278
01:13:41.040 --> 01:13:51.040
good. And after I did the forgiveness worksheets and individually forgiving and went through that,

1279
01:13:52.160 --> 01:14:00.640
we had such an awesome FaceTime conversation. And it was a lot of fun, a lot of laughs.

1280
01:14:01.280 --> 01:14:09.760
Um, he's very like, I don't know, he asks really great questions and, um, I can tell, um, that he

1281
01:14:09.760 --> 01:14:16.240
really wants to get to know me for me. Um, and so, yeah, I don't know. I think it's nice that

1282
01:14:16.240 --> 01:14:23.440
he's driving four hours to come see me and I, I know. And I feel like the timing of everything,

1283
01:14:23.440 --> 01:14:28.560
he's paced it really well. Like asking for my number. He waited like a week and a half on the

1284
01:14:28.560 --> 01:14:33.040
app to ask me for my number. And it was after we had like really good conversation that was

1285
01:14:33.040 --> 01:14:39.200
consistent. And then after a month, he asked if he could see me in person. So I like his pacing,

1286
01:14:39.920 --> 01:14:46.960
um, with everything. However, all my plans were going to be outside because I wanted a public,

1287
01:14:46.960 --> 01:14:51.040
you know, public place and different things. Well, it's going to be thunderstorming and

1288
01:14:51.040 --> 01:14:57.520
raining like 70% chance here in Knoxville on Saturday. So, um, I think he's going to teach

1289
01:14:57.520 --> 01:14:59.840
me how to play pickleball and I found some indoor.

1290
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.200
ports. And we're gonna do that. And then I found this pottery

1291
01:15:04.200 --> 01:15:07.120
place that looks like some fun. So I was thinking we could do

1292
01:15:07.120 --> 01:15:14.520
that. And then maybe grab dinner or whatever. So yeah, I think

1293
01:15:14.520 --> 01:15:18.840
there's still layers there with the his race, which is crazy to

1294
01:15:18.840 --> 01:15:23.400
say I know, because I'm, I'm Italian, I'm white, you know,

1295
01:15:23.400 --> 01:15:32.040
so, um, but I'm like, I don't know. Yeah, I'm, I'm proud of

1296
01:15:32.040 --> 01:15:35.920
myself. And I facetimed him without makeup. So that was a

1297
01:15:35.920 --> 01:15:39.600
huge, huge step. But I think it was almost like a low key self

1298
01:15:39.600 --> 01:15:41.760
sabotage. Because I was like, Well, if you don't like me like

1299
01:15:41.760 --> 01:15:42.960
this, then go ahead.

1300
01:15:44.760 --> 01:15:47.240
When I facetimed somebody and they move up, I had my hair

1301
01:15:47.240 --> 01:15:47.920
blown it on.

1302
01:15:52.480 --> 01:15:56.240
You know, because this is what you're gonna get. So but it

1303
01:15:56.240 --> 01:16:00.720
didn't scare him yet. So it's cool. But he's, he's really

1304
01:16:00.720 --> 01:16:04.760
sweet. He's very, very kind. And there's been no sexual talk, no

1305
01:16:04.760 --> 01:16:08.560
boundaries crossed, no in you windows. I don't think I've ever

1306
01:16:08.560 --> 01:16:10.520
talked to a guy this long without them bringing up

1307
01:16:10.520 --> 01:16:15.200
something along those lines. Yeah. So it's been very nice and

1308
01:16:15.200 --> 01:16:20.000
refreshing. So even if this is just I needed to meet him in

1309
01:16:20.000 --> 01:16:23.720
order to for God to reveal this deep wind that I had, because

1310
01:16:23.720 --> 01:16:28.680
there's a lot of emotions that came up heavy, like just, I

1311
01:16:28.680 --> 01:16:31.520
even felt like a scared child at one point while I was like doing

1312
01:16:31.520 --> 01:16:36.320
this. So it was like, the the manifestations that were coming

1313
01:16:36.320 --> 01:16:38.720
up were pretty heavy. At one point, I felt like I wanted to

1314
01:16:38.720 --> 01:16:42.640
scream, but I live with my parents. So I'm not gonna do

1315
01:16:42.640 --> 01:16:47.000
that at two o'clock in the morning. But it's just one of

1316
01:16:47.000 --> 01:16:50.120
those things where I'm like, it was it was deep. And I could

1317
01:16:50.120 --> 01:16:54.680
just feel the different layers. Yeah. So I think I'm dealing a

1318
01:16:54.680 --> 01:16:57.640
little bit with vanity. Personally, I feel like I've

1319
01:16:57.640 --> 01:17:02.120
dated pretty attractive men. And he's not attractive to me. So

1320
01:17:02.160 --> 01:17:07.120
he's cute. He's just not my type. So I really am trying to

1321
01:17:08.160 --> 01:17:10.720
I'm really asking the Lord to let me see him through the

1322
01:17:10.720 --> 01:17:15.680
lenses of Jesus. I need to see him the way the Lord sees him.

1323
01:17:16.240 --> 01:17:20.360
And vice versa. You know, he's he doesn't really give a lot of

1324
01:17:20.360 --> 01:17:24.880
compliments to me either. And I haven't given any. I'm like, if

1325
01:17:24.880 --> 01:17:26.880
we're not attracted to each other, then what's the point of

1326
01:17:26.880 --> 01:17:30.640
this? You know? But yeah, so anyway, that's my update. And

1327
01:17:30.640 --> 01:17:30.880
that's

1328
01:17:31.960 --> 01:17:36.040
yeah. Um, you know, Jackie says this all the time. And I totally

1329
01:17:36.040 --> 01:17:41.320
agree. It's amazing how a quality man, the level of

1330
01:17:41.320 --> 01:17:46.680
quality is can change what he looks like on the outside. It is

1331
01:17:46.680 --> 01:17:47.600
very, very true.

1332
01:17:48.160 --> 01:17:53.880
Yeah. And I have dated guys like that. I did one guy. And I

1333
01:17:53.880 --> 01:17:57.000
thought he was ugly, like ugly. I never would have thought to

1334
01:17:57.000 --> 01:18:01.000
date him. And then we became friends. And we were friends for

1335
01:18:01.000 --> 01:18:04.560
about a year. And I was honestly like, he was like the most

1336
01:18:04.560 --> 01:18:10.280
attractive man I ever dated. And then I did. Right, right.

1337
01:18:10.320 --> 01:18:13.480
And he he still went like to that day, like he was just so

1338
01:18:13.480 --> 01:18:16.960
cute. I was just like, enamored with him. And then, you know,

1339
01:18:16.960 --> 01:18:20.720
my kid's father, he's just tall, dark and handsome. And I was

1340
01:18:20.720 --> 01:18:24.080
just like, he was fine. And that was it. That was the level of it

1341
01:18:24.080 --> 01:18:26.760
just stopped at that, you know, so that I'm like, I really don't

1342
01:18:26.760 --> 01:18:31.880
want that again, either. So yeah, anyway, okay, thanks for

1343
01:18:31.880 --> 01:18:37.640
sharing. I'm excited. Keep us updated. You heard me Mandy?

1344
01:18:38.400 --> 01:18:39.520
Yes, I will.

1345
01:18:42.200 --> 01:18:43.120
Hey, Nikki.

1346
01:18:48.320 --> 01:18:50.480
Yay, Mandy. I'm so excited.

1347
01:18:55.000 --> 01:18:58.400
Hey, Nikki, are you still here? Oh, hey.

1348
01:18:59.400 --> 01:18:59.960
Hi.

1349
01:19:02.840 --> 01:19:10.040
Hey, I'm here. Sorry. Okay. It's okay. Go for it. I'm sorry. I

1350
01:19:10.040 --> 01:19:14.360
haven't been on for a while. I was away on a mission trip.

1351
01:19:15.840 --> 01:19:20.040
Yeah, I was away on a mission mission trip. But it's good to

1352
01:19:20.040 --> 01:19:27.440
be back. I went to Africa. Oh, what part? I was actually in

1353
01:19:27.440 --> 01:19:35.480
Ghana. Okay, cool. And actually, um, I wanted to get

1354
01:19:35.480 --> 01:19:39.320
your perspective and something that happened during the mission

1355
01:19:39.320 --> 01:19:49.960
trip. Yeah. If that's okay. Yes. So where should I start? Let me

1356
01:19:49.960 --> 01:19:58.800
see. So, um, towards the end of the mission trip, um,

1357
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:09.000
During the mission trip, the leader had told me that they wanted to, like, trip me to, like, a Chinese restaurant.

1358
01:20:09.000 --> 01:20:16.000
But that didn't happen until, like, the day before I was leaving.

1359
01:20:16.000 --> 01:20:25.000
And he, like, came to pick me up from where I was staying, and then there was a girl that was with me.

1360
01:20:25.000 --> 01:20:34.000
She's, like, always with me wherever I go. She comes with me just to help me and just to be with me.

1361
01:20:34.000 --> 01:20:42.000
But so he came and he, like, told her not to come, not to go with us, so she stayed behind.

1362
01:20:42.000 --> 01:20:53.000
And then we went to this, to the restaurant, and I was, like, just thinking in my head, oh, maybe his wife is going to meet us there.

1363
01:20:53.000 --> 01:20:59.000
So we got there, and, like, she wasn't there. No one was there. It was just him and I.

1364
01:20:59.000 --> 01:21:08.000
And then we started talking about different things, and he told me that he brought my leader here before, when they came.

1365
01:21:08.000 --> 01:21:18.000
And I was, like, okay. I was, like, okay, maybe he's just, like, just bringing me here because it's, like, the last day, and he just wanted to be nice.

1366
01:21:19.000 --> 01:21:34.000
And so we started talking about different things, and then, like, he asked me, like, have I ever been in a long relationship before?

1367
01:21:34.000 --> 01:21:43.000
And I said yes when I was in college, and he was, like, so was that, like, 16 years ago?

1368
01:21:44.000 --> 01:21:55.000
And so I just, like, and then I felt strange. I felt weird inside, and I'm, like, okay, where's this going?

1369
01:21:55.000 --> 01:22:00.000
And I was, like, okay, this doesn't feel, well, this doesn't feel good.

1370
01:22:00.000 --> 01:22:06.000
And I was, like, oh, where is your wife? And I said her name, and I was, like, is she working?

1371
01:22:06.000 --> 01:22:14.000
And he was, like, no, she, like, she said something, like, she works from home, and I was, like, okay.

1372
01:22:14.000 --> 01:22:24.000
And then towards the end, I was, like, I'm going to go use the restroom.

1373
01:22:24.000 --> 01:22:30.000
And I went to use the restroom, and I just, like, Lord, this does not feel right inside.

1374
01:22:30.000 --> 01:22:40.000
So I was, like, I was just thinking about different things, and I was, like, I'm going to go back out there, and I'm just going to get my bag and just start leaving.

1375
01:22:40.000 --> 01:22:47.000
So I went back out there, and then I picked my bag up, and he asked me to wait because he was on the phone.

1376
01:22:47.000 --> 01:22:56.000
He was, like, can you just wait for two minutes? So I waited, and then we left, and then we went back to where I was staying.

1377
01:22:57.000 --> 01:23:05.000
And ever since then, I just, I don't know, I just felt weird inside.

1378
01:23:05.000 --> 01:23:17.000
And, yeah, I wasn't sure if it was a cultural thing, or it was just, like, like, yeah.

1379
01:23:17.000 --> 01:23:21.000
Yeah. And so are you still in touch with him?

1380
01:23:22.000 --> 01:23:35.000
Yes, because he ended up coming to the state the day before I came back, and I saw him because he was at a conference.

1381
01:23:35.000 --> 01:23:42.000
But he left. He's not in my area anymore.

1382
01:23:42.000 --> 01:23:46.000
You want me, are you in direct communication with him?

1383
01:23:47.000 --> 01:24:05.000
I haven't spoken or texted him since Sunday, but when he was here, I had to communicate with him because he was at my previous church that I used to go to, and I ended up going to the conference, so he was there.

1384
01:24:05.000 --> 01:24:10.000
Oh, but I'm saying y'all are not having, like, private conversations, long conversations.

1385
01:24:10.000 --> 01:24:12.000
No, no, no, no.

1386
01:24:13.000 --> 01:24:18.000
Yeah, no, you were right, you know, that wasn't, that wasn't, that wasn't right.

1387
01:24:18.000 --> 01:24:26.000
You know, your, your discernment was on, or your intuition was on, that was not right.

1388
01:24:26.000 --> 01:24:30.000
And I think you did a good job with coming out of the bathroom, grabbing your things.

1389
01:24:30.000 --> 01:24:35.000
I mean, you don't have to use words when you can use your actions, you know.

1390
01:24:36.000 --> 01:24:42.000
Like, you let him know, like, I don't know what you're thinking, I ain't got no questions about what you're thinking, I ain't going to ask you what you're thinking.

1391
01:24:42.000 --> 01:24:44.000
I'm getting my stuff to go.

1392
01:24:44.000 --> 01:24:47.000
Because when you said, where's your wife?

1393
01:24:47.000 --> 01:24:53.000
And you went to the bathroom and you came back to get your things, did he pursue you when he came to the States?

1394
01:24:56.000 --> 01:25:00.000
Because when I came back, because he came back before I did.

1395
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.380
and he went to a different state.

1396
01:25:02.380 --> 01:25:03.980
And when I came back,

1397
01:25:03.980 --> 01:25:07.060
I noticed that he called me three times.

1398
01:25:07.060 --> 01:25:10.380
And the last time I saw his call coming in,

1399
01:25:10.380 --> 01:25:11.620
but my phone was low.

1400
01:25:11.620 --> 01:25:13.540
I was like, my phone was dying.

1401
01:25:13.540 --> 01:25:15.500
So I didn't answer it.

1402
01:25:15.500 --> 01:25:18.780
And when I was about to go on my other transition,

1403
01:25:18.780 --> 01:25:20.980
the other flight, I text him and I said,

1404
01:25:20.980 --> 01:25:23.020
I arrived safely.

1405
01:25:23.020 --> 01:25:26.020
Right now I'm on my way home.

1406
01:25:26.020 --> 01:25:27.140
And that was it.

1407
01:25:27.140 --> 01:25:31.980
And then, um, yeah.

1408
01:25:31.980 --> 01:25:34.860
So what's your, what's your question?

1409
01:25:34.860 --> 01:25:37.340
You want to know if you like should block him?

1410
01:25:37.340 --> 01:25:39.100
What's your question?

1411
01:25:39.100 --> 01:25:42.580
I will just, at first I wasn't sure

1412
01:25:42.580 --> 01:25:45.460
if I was like overreacting and just like,

1413
01:25:46.780 --> 01:25:50.500
maybe, um, yeah,

1414
01:25:50.500 --> 01:25:53.100
but I don't think I was overreacting

1415
01:25:53.100 --> 01:25:56.780
or feeling weird or feeling strange.

1416
01:25:56.780 --> 01:25:57.620
Yeah.

1417
01:25:58.700 --> 01:26:00.940
You know, if you have to talk to him

1418
01:26:00.940 --> 01:26:02.780
because of ministry safe,

1419
01:26:02.780 --> 01:26:05.240
you can say to him, or if he reaches out to you,

1420
01:26:05.240 --> 01:26:06.080
you can just say,

1421
01:26:06.080 --> 01:26:08.500
hey, I'm really uncomfortable talking to you.

1422
01:26:08.500 --> 01:26:10.740
I was uncomfortable when you took me to the restaurant

1423
01:26:10.740 --> 01:26:12.500
without your wife present.

1424
01:26:12.500 --> 01:26:16.660
I'm not really sure, you know, I'm uncomfortable.

1425
01:26:16.660 --> 01:26:18.700
I was uncomfortable at the restaurant

1426
01:26:18.700 --> 01:26:21.140
and I'm uncomfortable with you reaching out to me.

1427
01:26:21.140 --> 01:26:22.840
We don't have anything to discuss.

1428
01:26:22.840 --> 01:26:26.540
And if we did, I would rather we talk through someone else.

1429
01:26:27.300 --> 01:26:28.140
Okay.

1430
01:26:28.140 --> 01:26:31.020
You know, something like that, along those lines.

1431
01:26:31.020 --> 01:26:31.860
Okay.

1432
01:26:32.780 --> 01:26:33.620
Yeah.

1433
01:26:33.620 --> 01:26:35.100
And then if he calls you after that,

1434
01:26:35.100 --> 01:26:37.520
if he texts you after that, say, hey,

1435
01:26:39.780 --> 01:26:42.300
I need you to recall the last message

1436
01:26:42.300 --> 01:26:44.540
or the last conversation we had.

1437
01:26:44.540 --> 01:26:46.140
And because you've crossed my boundaries

1438
01:26:46.140 --> 01:26:47.140
and you've reached out again,

1439
01:26:47.140 --> 01:26:49.160
I'm going to go ahead and block your number,

1440
01:26:49.160 --> 01:26:50.860
but I just wanted to let you know.

1441
01:26:52.740 --> 01:26:53.820
Okay.

1442
01:26:53.820 --> 01:26:54.740
What do you think about?

1443
01:26:54.740 --> 01:26:56.740
Is that something you think you could do?

1444
01:26:59.780 --> 01:27:00.700
Yeah.

1445
01:27:00.700 --> 01:27:02.980
Like, I don't think he's going to like,

1446
01:27:04.620 --> 01:27:08.420
try to contact me like outside of ministry.

1447
01:27:09.460 --> 01:27:11.100
And.

1448
01:27:11.100 --> 01:27:13.220
But if he contacted you within ministry,

1449
01:27:13.220 --> 01:27:15.540
are you prepared to,

1450
01:27:15.540 --> 01:27:17.300
cause you understand that

1451
01:27:17.300 --> 01:27:19.540
it's more on his mind than ministry, right?

1452
01:27:20.540 --> 01:27:25.540
You said there's more on his mind than ministry?

1453
01:27:26.660 --> 01:27:28.180
Or you think it's just ministry

1454
01:27:28.180 --> 01:27:29.980
and this is how he does it?

1455
01:27:29.980 --> 01:27:32.380
No, I think there might be more.

1456
01:27:32.380 --> 01:27:35.420
Cause I was thinking about other things that happened

1457
01:27:35.420 --> 01:27:37.740
and then like other things that he said.

1458
01:27:37.740 --> 01:27:41.140
And I was like, I wonder if he was saying that

1459
01:27:41.140 --> 01:27:44.560
because he was up to something.

1460
01:27:44.560 --> 01:27:45.400
Right.

1461
01:27:45.400 --> 01:27:48.380
So even for the sake of ministry is what I'm saying to you.

1462
01:27:48.380 --> 01:27:49.220
You're saying, well,

1463
01:27:49.220 --> 01:27:50.780
he's not going to contact me outside of ministry,

1464
01:27:50.780 --> 01:27:52.740
but even within ministry,

1465
01:27:52.740 --> 01:27:55.620
I would encourage you to put some boundaries up.

1466
01:27:55.620 --> 01:27:58.340
So I want you to know that this comment that you made

1467
01:27:58.340 --> 01:28:00.080
was uncomfortable for me.

1468
01:28:00.080 --> 01:28:01.940
When you took me to the restaurant without your wife,

1469
01:28:01.940 --> 01:28:03.520
that was uncomfortable for me.

1470
01:28:03.520 --> 01:28:06.220
If we have to interact for ministry sake,

1471
01:28:06.220 --> 01:28:09.540
I just want you to know that this is the boundary

1472
01:28:09.540 --> 01:28:10.900
and don't ever cross it.

1473
01:28:12.020 --> 01:28:12.900
Okay.

1474
01:28:12.900 --> 01:28:14.460
And so there needs to be something said,

1475
01:28:14.460 --> 01:28:15.940
cause the fact that you say nothing

1476
01:28:15.940 --> 01:28:17.520
speaks something at this point.

1477
01:28:17.520 --> 01:28:20.040
If you're saying that you may have to interact with him.

1478
01:28:20.040 --> 01:28:22.920
So if you may have to interact with him because of ministry,

1479
01:28:22.920 --> 01:28:24.920
you're going to want to address that.

1480
01:28:25.800 --> 01:28:26.840
Yes.

1481
01:28:26.840 --> 01:28:28.360
Yeah.

1482
01:28:28.360 --> 01:28:29.320
That makes sense.

1483
01:28:29.320 --> 01:28:31.720
But you're not, you're spot on.

1484
01:28:32.840 --> 01:28:34.560
But you might think,

1485
01:28:34.560 --> 01:28:35.600
you didn't know.

1486
01:28:35.600 --> 01:28:36.440
You didn't know.

1487
01:28:39.880 --> 01:28:41.040
If I don't say anything,

1488
01:28:41.040 --> 01:28:43.760
you might think it's okay, right?

1489
01:28:43.760 --> 01:28:45.600
Like why they didn't.

1490
01:28:45.920 --> 01:28:47.600
If he talks back to you again

1491
01:28:47.600 --> 01:28:50.700
and he makes a little come in and you let it slide by,

1492
01:28:52.060 --> 01:28:54.320
you know, you will want to say something.

1493
01:28:55.640 --> 01:28:57.080
And at that point,

1494
01:28:57.080 --> 01:28:58.480
if he says something to you

1495
01:28:58.480 --> 01:29:00.720
that sounds a little out of the way,

1496
01:29:00.720 --> 01:29:03.680
then you go ahead and mention the other things that happen.

1497
01:29:04.800 --> 01:29:08.120
If you are completely uncomfortable with working with him,

1498
01:29:08.120 --> 01:29:11.240
then you need to go ahead and be upfront

1499
01:29:11.240 --> 01:29:13.720
with your strong boundary is what I'm saying.

1500
01:29:13.720 --> 01:29:16.280
He could possibly not say anything to you again.

1501
01:29:17.600 --> 01:29:20.400
Interesting to me if he wouldn't say anything to you again,

1502
01:29:20.400 --> 01:29:23.120
but if he doesn't and you don't want to bring it up,

1503
01:29:23.120 --> 01:29:24.200
don't bring it up.

1504
01:29:24.200 --> 01:29:25.760
But if he does,

1505
01:29:25.760 --> 01:29:28.600
I encourage you to go ahead and lay your boundaries down.

1506
01:29:30.120 --> 01:29:30.960
Okay.

1507
01:29:30.960 --> 01:29:33.440
Because before this happened,

1508
01:29:36.600 --> 01:29:38.080
because I told him that I,

1509
01:29:39.080 --> 01:29:44.280
because he wanted me to do like a ministry related thing.

1510
01:29:44.280 --> 01:29:46.800
And I said, I can't move

1511
01:29:46.800 --> 01:29:49.240
cause I just got a house and I can't move.

1512
01:29:49.240 --> 01:29:51.080
And he goes like,

1513
01:29:51.080 --> 01:29:54.940
Oh, so no, I have a place to say when I come to visit.

1514
01:29:54.940 --> 01:29:57.160
And I didn't say anything at all.

1515
01:29:57.160 --> 01:29:59.840
Cause I wasn't sure if he was kidding or he was serious.

1516
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:07.680
like yeah so next time he make one of those jokes you just say like I'm not I

1517
01:30:07.680 --> 01:30:11.900
don't know if you're playing but I just want you to know that I don't play like

1518
01:30:11.900 --> 01:30:16.320
that you're married me you have made some comments like this in the past they

1519
01:30:16.320 --> 01:30:21.840
don't sound like you're playing to me but let's just clear the air mm-hmm and

1520
01:30:21.840 --> 01:30:31.280
then you clear it up you give him direction okay it's good

1521
01:31:01.280 --> 01:31:05.440
I wanted to actually one thing do something quick a few weeks ago I had

1522
01:31:05.440 --> 01:31:12.720
tried the Facebook group and I put in the code but it didn't work so I wasn't

1523
01:31:12.720 --> 01:31:21.400
sure if it's not what state South Carolina is anyone in here in the South

1524
01:31:21.400 --> 01:31:35.040
Carolina group it may be that is not active does it look active when you look

1525
01:31:35.040 --> 01:31:40.520
at it just looking through it oh it acts for the code and then I enter it and it

1526
01:31:40.520 --> 01:31:46.560
didn't go through so I couldn't see it sometimes okay

1527
01:31:51.920 --> 01:31:58.240
okay will you email you email at me I don't even know why it's not showing up

1528
01:31:58.240 --> 01:32:03.960
on my did you go through the single see this is South Carolina I think it's in

1529
01:32:03.960 --> 01:32:11.240
Raleigh Oh shot sorry it's not Carolina Charlotte North Carolina Raleigh yeah

1530
01:32:11.240 --> 01:32:22.920
here enjoy huh I was still active let me see I'm just checking it out for you

1531
01:32:22.920 --> 01:32:30.720
now will you send an email to add me and I can't respond to you and tell them

1532
01:32:30.720 --> 01:32:40.120
that you were trying to connect with this single city yes I see that it has

1533
01:32:40.120 --> 01:32:43.640
68 members

1534
01:32:44.600 --> 01:32:52.800
no post and they hadn't had any post in the last month huh okay so that may tell

1535
01:32:52.800 --> 01:32:59.920
us something but email them let's see what they say okay I will okay thank you

1536
01:32:59.920 --> 01:33:04.200
so much for your advice no of course you're welcome did you break up with

1537
01:33:04.200 --> 01:33:10.640
that other guy huh did you break up with that guy that you only takes one

1538
01:33:10.640 --> 01:33:19.920
week do you remember are you talking to me

1539
01:33:24.720 --> 01:33:30.000
did you break up with that guy that you were talking to once a week over text

1540
01:33:30.040 --> 01:33:33.720
wasn't that you Nikki

1541
01:33:34.760 --> 01:33:42.920
now okay she's on mute Oh Nikki you want me I muted you too

1542
01:33:42.920 --> 01:33:54.560
Nikki oh sorry um no it's not me I haven't all right well ladies it has

1543
01:33:54.560 --> 01:33:58.800
been a pleasure I hope you all rest well on tonight I will post the activation we

1544
01:33:58.800 --> 01:34:03.000
want you to start picking out what those mature marriage mind and masculine

1545
01:34:03.000 --> 01:34:07.240
traits are so your I will be well trained for the suitor that heaven has

1546
01:34:07.240 --> 01:34:13.160
you to choose from right so we can choose well based on good quality

1547
01:34:13.160 --> 01:34:19.680
foundational things and so yeah keep posting and keep keep us updated keep

1548
01:34:19.680 --> 01:34:25.600
posted Tiffany did you see my response to you about that guy and about going

1549
01:34:25.600 --> 01:34:32.720
somewhere wasn't that you was that you Tiffany yes it was I did I haven't had

1550
01:34:32.720 --> 01:34:37.200
a chance to respond but you it was really funny you were kind of saying

1551
01:34:37.200 --> 01:34:43.960
exactly what my daughter was like don't be doing that mom yeah all right you're

1552
01:34:43.960 --> 01:34:49.120
welcome all right ladies have a good night thank you all you