kingdom of God. And not, and not, not just living religion.
Yeah, no, not not to be religious about it to do the
kingdom of God, which is, you know, basically the Bible. Yeah.
So which is a miles, miles, Monroe teaching or Pedro a day
or one on non kingdom seekers, you know, he teaches the
kingdom, kingdom living style, which is no fine print, you
know, so Mike, for you, it's all about the dogmatic stuff,
right? And so as long as you guys could either compromise or
understand be, you know, lean into each other's dogmatic
stuff, I'm sure you'll be okay. But obviously, there's dogmatic
teachings in all religions, where it's like, you know, you
have to believe or you're not, whatever. So I think if you
could, you know, let her express maybe where she's at. And you
know what, there's a lot of people that Catholics that, you
know, because there's been meetings, right? Like, you know,
Vatican one, Vatican two, and there's been a lot of
discussion. And there's been discussion for about 1000 years
since orthos and the Catholics had a schism and dumb.
I was learning about like the Council of Nicaea. Yeah. And
like, that story like of like, what went down there is just
like, so like, tumultuous, like,
yeah. So to put all that aside, Mike, you just got to link up
with your girl, right? Yeah, we could talk about theology and
dogmatic till the cows come home. Men have been talking
about this for the last 2000 years. And yeah, what's the
true church and stuff? I'm kind of over that. I just feel like
it all depends on what you believe, and what your lady
believes and what you're going to pass down to the kids. So
and if you have a relationship, maybe I'm being soft on that.
But well, no, like, okay, like, is there a true relationship
with Jesus? And how you express that? Is, is, I think we all
have this, like a very similar foundation. Yeah, we could talk
about the Trinity and you know, why Jesus died. I mean, that's
again, theology, more dogmatic. Yeah, I think I think everybody
needs to cut each other, each other slack, because everybody
is going to be at a different point with their walk with God.
Yeah. But as long as as long as the their personal relationship
with God, and what God makes them feel what's right and
what's wrong for them. And whether if they have a good
relationship with God, it doesn't matter what, what, what
style of Christianity they have, as long as the relationship with
God is good. And you guys, you guys can mesh, right? You know,
like, yeah. And so I forgot to hit record to the cloud. So it's
the 27th of April, you guys, we were just talking about I went
on a date with a police officer yesterday, who happens to be
Catholic as well. And it was a lot of fun. It was definitely a
little different for me. You know, on you, because I really
was trying to put Okay, you guys, when you're on a date, you
proceed with try to do the whole point honor, right. And so and
I've seen so many people, but it was really cool, because she's
like, I invited her to church on Sunday. I was like, Hey, come
check it out. Come listen to it. I was like, I hear God. And
like, and if that's weird for you, that's cool. We're cool.
Like, but I like, like, but that's just my normal thing. And
so then today, I was helping her like, actually, I sent her
Bethany Hicks book on God connection. And how if you guys
ever want to get better at hearing God, there's God
connection by Bethany Hicks really well done. And there's
another one by have a look, Cunningham, Cunnington, but, but
but the whole thing is Jesus relationship. I like I didn't
get recorded. But I do really, I really when I went to a Catholic
mass, I love the richness and everything they did. I just felt
like everybody had no idea what what they were doing. Well, I
was one of those people. Like, do I stand? Do I sit? We did
communion. Yeah, the Catholic Church is not very good at like,
if you're a brand new person, like, let's say you just found
Jesus and you walk to a Catholic Church. Right? You would be
confused. And this is where this is why I have my little
gripe with the church. Like, for example, right at my in Fresno
here, in a lot of the churches, they'll have a guy from like
Africa or something, right. And, you know, I can't understand a
word he's saying, dude, I'll be honest. And I'll be honest, it
also frustrates me. But obviously, there's a book that
goes over the first reading, second reading the gospel, and
then you know, the priest talks after, right, so I'm able to
read everything, because I go to church early, and I try to
absorb the word and the message of the day, just in case the guy
up there is from, I don't care where, because I can't
understand him that well, because, hey, it's wonderful that
Christianity is around the world, right? Yeah. So I'm not
knocking it. I never will. But well, I
You know?
And so it just sucks because if you're, let's say you just found Jesus and you
go into a Catholic church, it's going to feel holy and respectful and like
almost like a quiet time to inner, inner, inner thoughts, but the whole, what do
we do next?
They're losing people.
And then if you get a guy out there that doesn't speak English, I can just
imagine that person being, you know what?
I'm not coming back here and I get it.
I get it guys.
I'm a harsh critic.
I'm a skeptic.
I get it.
So I feel you on that a hundred percent.
So, and she had mentioned, she went to mass and the guy was from like
Argentina or something and she couldn't under, I'm like, they rotate, but I
wanted to let this run out and kind of talk about it because Jackie is talking
to some Catholic group and bringing, trying to bring singles in.
So I have to say, I really appreciate you guys explaining it because I'm, it's
an, it's, it's fairly new to me, you know what I mean?
Like I'm experiencing it.
So it's, and it was really cool, but like to be able to meet both worlds.
And, you know, so yeah, one of the things that I wanted to check in with everybody
today is, well, I mean, Andy's obviously he's headed to, he's, he's heading on a
trip, so he's dating, how are you guys doing on apps?
How are you guys doing on dating and getting out and getting connected?
Obviously I got upward, holy and arc at the moment.
Um, and yeah, I'm not, I'm not even trying with anything online.
No, Kevin, you're not trying anything online.
All right.
I'll, I'll share just cause I'm about to be to work, but I was, I will say there
is a stark contrast between what I have do doing in the program than what I did
before I was on multiple apps before and just like getting, I felt like the volume
of messages I was sending and likes I was sending just wasn't like bringing any
results.
So I would have one person message me and I would just put all of my eggs in that
one basket because it was like the one message I got at the 60 likes and I'm,
um, this time around, and it just tells me that I was going about it wrong because
this time around I was very out of my comfort zone, did what the program told
me to do, follow Renee's advice.
And I'm on holy and coffee meets bagel.
I, I have been off those apps for a little bit now, just because I wasn't
really prepared for the more, the increased interest and, and please hear
my heart.
I don't want to like brag.
I just, I'm saying I got, I went, I was looking, you know, everyone and, and
being very, and then I got a ton of messages and I, it just got very, very
overwhelming, very quick.
Over the practice and pushing to video, pushing to meeting in person.
I can't hear you, Chris.
You're breaking up.
Oh yeah.
I'm going over the hill.
Give me just one second.
Um, so I got to get over a lot to deal, to upkeep and do it well.
And like with all the, all the added, you know, um, and so, you know,
and you hear me guys now that I'm over the hill.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sorry about that.
Um, so the, uh, I've been trying to, to be very firm with, okay.
I'm just meeting people.
I'm just met setting up this date.
Uh, went on a date on actually on the way back from my vacation.
So that was a win that vacation was amazing.
Um, went through reading to meet with somebody.
Um, so Mike, you and me can meeting women in writing.
Good night.
Um, so, uh, another date, uh, someone more, uh, local near Santa's day.
We've met halfway on Saturday, Sunday when I date on Walnut Creek and I
started to get this feeling of, okay, this is, this is not something I would
do, I would choose one and I would just date them until they hated me or,
you know, and just be done.
So trying to keep reminding myself, no, this is, we're doing it different.
I'm just meeting people.
I'm just seeing what the vibe is and just, you know, and, and so it is a weird
thing, but I, I think it's good.
I think I'm doing it.
Right.
No, absolutely.
A way to go, dude.
I just want to give you props, right?
Chris, Chris, how many girls are you communicating with right now?
I have five right now that have my number and we're actively texting.
So, um, I've got, I just said those three dates, all of them.
I'm going to try to get a second date.
They were interested.
I've got two more coming.
One of them's actually in the last year single, um, program.
Um, uh,
Uh, and these are most of them from, from Holy.
I think only one of them was from coffee meets bagel.
So you guys haven't tried Holy apparently always good.
Um, at least for me, I, there's one that, um, is in the singles community
here that is kind of outside my, my age range, she's 46, I'm 39.
I'm still at that cusp that that's the difficulty with her, because if I do
pursue that, I'm basically saying, I don't want kids and I'm still kind
of holding on to that, I want kids.
Um, and I, you know, maybe God doesn't have that for me.
I got a niece and nephew.
Uh, I can pour into them.
I know she's got nieces and nephews would always be fun.
Aunt and uncle, but it's still going to be a big decision eventually.
Um, if that does go further, but again, I'm just trying to be as open as possible.
And you're, you're telling the girls, like you are talking to multiple
people or what, how are you, how are you handling that?
Um, I don't, I don't mention it unless it comes up.
I do try to, the one that I am, uh, probably I'm going to try to
get one more video with her, but, um, she's the most like pushing
towards single being like, uh, committed exclusive, exclusive.
Thank you.
And I, I've been telling her, I was like, look, I am at the
time where I am meeting people.
I am seeing, you know, what's out there.
What's what's interesting.
Um, I, what's the word that I literally, I said, I just don't want to
put any unrealistic expectations.
Like I am not going to drive out to writing every weekend.
It's just not where I'm at now.
So in the future, if we continue on, of course we can start doing that.
But right now that's not the level of commitment that, that I'm looking for.
And she was very open for it, but that was a, an awkward conversation.
But for, cause for her, she just, she wants to text every day.
She wants to text all day.
And I'm like, that's girlfriend levels.
Interaction.
I'm sorry.
I'm not there.
Yeah.
That's Chris.
That sounds like, um, last year around this time, that's
kind of what I was doing.
I went on seven dates in two and a half weeks.
Um, and then, and then I did a second date, uh, look at, you
had a second date with a girl.
And then it just unraveled for me.
It just, it became too overwhelming for me.
I just felt like, especially when I went on that second day with that girl, I'm
like, I, this could go somewhere.
And I realized at that point, I realized I wasn't ready.
I wasn't ready for that commitment for that level of commitment.
And, but anyhow, I love that.
I love that you're doing that.
That's great, Chris.
Oh, and how long it's been two years for you, right?
Yeah.
It's yeah.
Two plus.
Yeah.
And, and I remember where I was at at that time and I actually had a very,
very similar, uh, thing happened to me where I'm like, I can't do this level
of no, and then I had absolutely hit the eject button, so don't feel too bad about
that.
Um, I think that brings up a great point, you guys, right?
Like, so, I mean, your guys are pushing through the process that you're learning,
you're realizing you're about your, your, you know, your capacities for doing
things.
It can get super overwhelming.
I mean, dude, I, I've been overwhelmed if I'm honest, right.
You know, and I'm, and I'm, I've run a lot, right?
So like, so when I get overwhelmed, it takes quite a bit to overwhelm me, but
sometimes it's just a lot.
And then like, Jesse, you're talking about, it's like, it shows you something.
I mean, okay.
You guys, any dates that you go on, you should be like, what do I like?
What do I not like?
You should like to be assessing what it, you know, what did I like about her?
Like what drew me to her or what, or what repelled me, you know, like you can take
really good information if you're from all of these things, you're like, Hey, I
thought I was ready.
I mean, I've had a lot of gals who are like, Hey, so are you ready for marriage?
And they're like, I thought I was, but I realized I'm not right.
And you know, those are, those are great conversations, by the way.
There's so much fun.
Well, and I'm, I'm right now, really.
I want to get to these next two dates and meet these two different people.
Cause what I've been through that I've had so far is, um, some of these like
warnings and some of these things to look out for have popped up.
I've got one that is worse than the way she talked about her divorce was, you
know, I saw some of the things they weren't about was someone made you
need some more healing there.
Um, but I need to, I need to not willing to hit the eject button just
because of that, a couple of comments.
Um, but same thing with, uh, a couple other gals, like things one just wants
to go as deep as possible, that deep conversation, intimacy, you know, I
guarantee you, I could talk to her at two in the morning every day, you know,
can my feet on my, uh, on my.
Ed like a little high schooler, right?
You know, you hang up first.
I know I could do that and I'm fighting not doing it
because that's not where we're at.
We have to, and so I want to get to these next two
because I'm learning, I am learning,
and that's, I hate to learn, not at the expense,
but to learn for these girls
because I know if I was getting attached
and they were still dating, it's weird.
I'm trying to fight my nature.
The trickiest part is if you fall in love
with more than one of them
and it's hard to choose between them.
That's the clencher that I have run into in the past.
If I may, but even, Christopher, it's so good.
You're noticing things.
You're realizing, oh, I need to set boundaries.
You guys remember, I think, was it last week
or the week before, whatever, we talked about
where I had a gal I matched with
and Chris, she was going deep, dude.
She was like fricking deep sea fishing
and I'm like, and unfortunately,
I wasn't thinking about being the thermostat
versus the thermometer, so I let it,
it got a little too, I didn't keep it light.
And she ended up getting overwhelmed.
So you're doing a great job.
Like you guys, we have to set the tone.
You know, yeah, and Chris, it's like,
you're going through your process, right?
And, you know, getting good information
and figuring out what you want.
Like there was one of the gals, like the divorce.
She's like, hey, my longest relationship's like two years.
Is that a red flag for you?
And I'm like, well, yellow.
It's like, you know, where are you at now?
You know, right?
I mean, it can be a red flag, really.
I was like, I'd like to see it turned to green.
But then as we, as I got to talk to her,
I realized, well, there's a reason she's divorced.
And there's a reason why her longest relationship
has been two years.
And I'm already experiencing that in a week, right?
And I actually, I asked her a question and kind of,
I basically said, so, you know, when you get in conflict,
like you said, you protect your peace.
What does that look like?
So I was like, because there's a lot of conflict
in relationships, does that mean you leave?
Or, you know, and like, and then she's like,
I just can't do this anymore.
But, you know, I wish I, you know,
so in a way it was helpful, but at the other time,
I could have let it, I should have let it better
and not let it get that deep, that serious, that early.
Right, and Chris, I think you're doing a great job in that.
And I just want to applaud you.
Well, no, and I want to thank you guys
and the community in general,
because this is the first time I feel like
a confidence walking into this.
Yeah, I'm nervous.
Just get that like butterflies things that I still,
I still have hormones, thank God.
And I still like get excited.
But, yeah, I'm, yeah, I still am capable.
I'm not, I'm not dead.
I'm still straight and still alive.
But the, I have a confidence that I just haven't had
because I feel like I have tools
and that I aren't, I'm not just at the whim
of whatever girl gives me some attention,
which is where I was years ago.
Yeah, no, and that's super.
It sounds like you're having,
it sounds like you're having fun, Chris.
You're having fun.
Yeah, absolutely.
You know what, I, it's overwhelming a little bit
to like try to schedule all of these things,
but when I'm there, like, it's not unpleasant, so.
Yeah, that's great.
I'm proud of you, dude, that's amazing.
It's always five at one time, you know,
it can't be one every like other month.
It's always five at one time.
And then nothing.
Isn't that so true?
Yeah, then you're done for six months.
Then you gotta take a break because you're overwhelmed.
It's like, you smell different, Chris,
and then all of a sudden, bam.
I don't know why that happens.
Well, and you guys, so anybody else like Tim,
other Chris, where's everybody at dating-wise?
Kevin, you know, I know you're,
I mean, I'm not really in a remote place,
but people in my age group makes,
it feels really remote here in San Jose, right?
And I've been to pretty much every church's single group.
And, you know, but like, Kevin,
is that one of your biggest things is
you're not doing online and there's not a lot around you,
if I remember right, right?
Right, I stopped doing online just because
I just get lied to so much online, you know,
and it usually ends up being that my big no-no is
don't start asking for money and for help.
Oh.
And I'm very open about my financial situation
and I've been unemployed for six or seven months.
I don't have the money to help people right now.
And if I do, I got five kids, you know?
And I got five brothers and sisters,
and one of them's living up on my homestead in a cabin
without running water and electric.
So if I wanna help somebody, I got lots of people to help.
And it's not a matter of whether I wanna help or not,
because I do, that's my problem, I'm too soft-hearted.
And used to be very gullible and naive,
but just if it's long distance,
the online, you know, I don't live in a big,
right, and I don't have a big enough population here
to really meet anybody online in town.
Well, and it seems like, and you know, Kevin,
for what it's worth, and I mean, obviously,
you know, you were talking about,
like, maybe the Lord is moving you out of there,
so that way you have more opportunities, right?
Like-
Right, yeah, if I move up to North Polis,
it's within 10 miles of Fairbanks,
which is one of the two biggest cities in Alaska.
And if I go down to Wyoming, Gillette's in the,
in the, at least 80,000 range, if not 180,
I don't know, I haven't been down there for quite a while.
I mean, like I said, we were praying
that you actually go where you're supposed to go,
and then he brings you to where you're supposed to be.
So cool.
Right, wisdom and direction.
Wisdom and direction.
Andy, I know where you're at.
Abram, what about you, bro?
I mean, like, dude, you should be,
you and, you know, Chris, you should,
dude, Abram, you're one of the funnest dudes I've ever met,
and I love it, dude.
So how are you doing?
Are you not dating?
Where are you at with that?
I'm on, like, six apps or something.
It's crazy.
It's toxic.
Is it as toxic as-
Oh, no, two, two, you gotta do two for 90 days.
That's the two to three.
Yeah, so I'm, so because of this factor
that I put myself in, I'm shuffling through
a lot of, I should say non-believers,
just cut it short to that, so.
Yeah.
And so I'll match with some nice lady,
but, you know, she's four hours away, five hours away,
and that just, it's just hard, man.
And-
It's so, you know, Abram, I have to say,
like, there's been a couple of gals who are in Fresno,
and I'm like, dude, I'm gonna go hang out with Abram,
and I'm gonna-
Dude, come over, man, but it's just,
again, you're gonna drive five hours, right?
Is it, is it however?
No, no, you're San Jose?
You're like two and a half, one way.
I did it in one and a half once.
If you don't hit traffic, if you just hit-
I did it in one and a half once.
Oh, you were going like 80 miles an hour.
I also got like a $300 ticket.
I was gonna say, you're going 80 miles an hour.
Honestly, one of the things that,
like, joining this group,
Jackie was talking about having
your non-negotiables from God, right?
And one of my non-negotiables that I had to admit
wasn't necessarily from God
was that I wanted to meet someone, like, locally.
And I had to throw that one away
because I was not meeting someone trying to do that.
I mean, I was, you know, open to long distance
within a short radius,
but what I needed to do is I needed to expand it
to be outside of this country
because, like, I just, I learned that, like,
I basically cannot be with an American woman
because it's just, they're very,
they have very particular, you know,
what they're looking for,
and I am just not on that list, you know?
They're really spoiled.
So I figured out that when I joined the-
That's a lot of women.
Eastern Filipina website, it was night and day.
Like, I had no problems when I joined the website at all.
So-
I just want to pump the brakes just a skosh.
Like, so, okay, you guys-
Like, 300 million women are not, none of them are gay.
Well, no, but, well, that too, but like-
No, I'm open to long distance relationships,
but I was having problems getting them
to want to do video chat and stuff like that.
So that's a-
That's a red flag right there.
Like, if they're-
That tells me that they're not very serious
and that they're looking for something else.
Or they're-
I just kind of got overwhelmed with it all.
So I decided to take a break the last three,
three or four months.
No, and that's a good thing.
Like, here, let me get-
Sorry, I want us to-
This is a really important point, you guys.
And Daniel, I want to ask,
I want to hear what you had questioned in a minute.
I'm just-
But like, you guys,
you need to be listening to the Holy Spirit and Jesus.
So there was like my dream girl in, on,
is that, what is it?
It's near Quebec, right?
And I'm like, and she mounted a match.
And you guys, I pray about every match.
And I'm like, Lord, can I go?
Because it was long distance, this commitment, you guys.
Right?
Like, I mean, like, and so,
so before you get into a long distance,
and I would say,
vetted in the group is such a better idea than what I've been doing. But he told me not,
and I asked like seven times, and every single time the Lord's like, nope. And I'm like,
can we negotiate? He's like, nope. And Andy, it is good.
God has a path for all you guys, right? I mean, there's 1,400 women in our group, you guys,
and there's like freaking 30 of us. So like the odds are like you're fishing in like the hatchery.
It's just not fair. It's just a matter of like aligning.
Yeah. And I think, Mike, one thing that you were talking about earlier, like Jackie wants to bring
like Catholics on board with this. I think that was like the biggest issue I was running into,
because like I am the type of person, I'm Catholic, and I kind of need to be with another
Catholic. And there wasn't enough Catholics to be matched with in this community. And I think
that would really help, you know. And it's an influx of different, like, and so you guys,
Jackie does a lot. I don't know. I mean, I've known her for,
I knew her before I was in the group, right? I met her, you know, in Reading. But like,
she is on always trying to get people in. There's a, on First Year Single, there's
kind of a dating thing on there to fill out and everything, a profile to get
known by the group or whatever. Is that correct? I'm not sure. Usually, okay, so she has,
you guys, because I had so much interest when I, like, I'm not doing long distance right now,
right? Because like, I don't feel like I'm allowed to, you know, I've been asking for the Lord to
remove that kibosh, because I'd be married in like, 15 minutes. But, you know, and I'm proceeding
with caution in that, because it's, but that's between me and the Lord. But you guys, do a
spotlight, right? You know, and, and there, this thing, there's, they're doing a lot behind the
scenes, they're tweaking a lot of things, they're getting a lot of things better, right? And do
spotlights. Like, like I said, my Facebook blew up. So if you don't, if you wonder why I'm not on
the co-ed calls, I want to come in as Antigua by Toya and have my freaking, and have my, my video
off just so I can hang out. But, but because, so, but if you're ready, like, get spotlighted, get
connected, right? So, yeah. Did you have something to say? Or Dan, you want, you want to, did you
have something to say, Dan? All right, cool. All right. I know Hunter's, dude, Hunter, you shaved,
you shaved, bro. You're looking clean, dude. Baby face. Come on. Like, who is that guy? Someone said
I'm like five or ten years younger now. You do. Yeah. And I had to get the haircut and the beard
because I was becoming a shaggy dog and my boss was like, when are you going to shave? Well, I did.
And look, my ear's all fixed. That's cool. No more call for our era. No, but I'm just spend this week,
rest of this week healed. And I'm going to next week, go ahead and for the rest of the month, I'm going to go
back to jujitsu. That's cool. So, I know, Hunter, you've been talking to ladies. So we're kind of
just checking in and see where everybody's at. Well, Abram's on the apps. Andy's heading on a trip.
Kevin's going to looks like he's going to be maybe transitioning to a new place with new faces.
Dan, what about you? Are you on any apps? Are you doing any?
Where are you at?
Is he really low for anybody but me? Yeah, I can barely hear you. It's hard to hear you, Dan.
Try again, bro.
You sound kind of like a robot. Yeah. Like a muffled robot.
Like, yeah, I can't hear a word you're saying.
Try again. Get closer. Get closer.
They're in his ears. The mics are... So, Dan, we just...
You can take one out. What if you took one out and put it...
I don't... I've never used... I don't like Bluetooth near my brain. I just thought,
like, with all that, it just doesn't seem like a great idea to me.
The only thing I know is that my hair, even though, ladies, I think the beard's masculine,
I will say this. Relax, girls. And so, my spearmint, it will always grow back.
Yeah. So, I actually grew my goat back out because I had, like, 20-year-olds hitting on me.
And I'm like, dude, I can introduce you to my son. He's your age.
So, Mr. Henshaw, yeah, hang on, I'm just checking, Mr. Henshaw, are you around?
You feel like chatting?
Mr. Tim?
I'm here.
I got here late tonight.
How you doing, bud?
I'm doing all right.
I ran into a situation today just going around doing DoorDash that, like, I wasn't expecting
at all, but I think it was helpful.
I just ran into somebody, like, out and about, but it was not, it was, like, they were friendly
in that, but something was very off with them, and I think they were trying to, like, push
for something more.
Just a cool stranger I bumped into at a restaurant, and they ended up getting the help they needed
with somebody else.
They asked me for a ride across the town, and I'm just like, that's kind of weird, you
know?
Yeah, it's pretty bizarre.
But the good thing about it is that, yeah, in the past, that could have been, like, a
tempting situation to go the wrong way, but, like, it didn't even faze me.
Like, I felt, like, almost instantly that something was off about this person, so, yeah.
Even though they were young and cute, you know, so, yeah.
Way to go.
And so, how are you doing?
I mean, are you back dating?
Are you still processing, getting, are you on the apps or anything?
I think with what someone just mentioned, I guess I still have some non-negotiables
that are all about me and not really real, real ones.
Well, their preference is to not, non-negotiables, right?
Yeah.
And, dude, you guys, that's hard.
Sometimes it's really hard to figure out which one those are, right?
Yeah.
Sorry.
Like Jackie said, if the person, I loved how she said it, she said it, she was like, if
the person, you're dating a person and everything else is perfect but this one thing, you know,
if that's a deal-breaker for you, then that's a non-negotiable, right?
Yeah, I have to be honest, I'm almost like the opposite of Andy.
It's just, like, there's a part of me that's like, I'm not interested if they are local
because I don't really, I really kind of want to move to someplace new, to be honest, so
I'm kind of weird that way.
Well, I mean, everybody has their lane, right?
I mean, and everybody has their way of doing things.
I mean, long distance is, I mean, it's kind of a, it's a sprint versus, like, local, you
can have, you can savor it, you can take your time a little more, but long distance, you
kind of need to get in person and you need to move and see if you actually want that
because, and you guys, I've shared this before and I'll probably share it again.
I've had two or three, I don't know, several experiences where our online was phenomenal,
right?
Like, and I'm like, oh my gosh, I found the one, you know, and then we met in person and
I'm like, oh, this is a trainer and so, like, because sometimes it's, they feel safe in
the online realm, but then you get in person and they have triggers and that was kind of
what happened with me.
And I'm a ginormous dude.
And like, so if you have issues with men and masculine men and giant masculine men, then,
you know, but yeah.
So David, I just, take some steps, you know, I would encourage you, Mr. Henshaw, like.
I'm not on the apps now or anything, really, I haven't really been doing anything.
Lately, I've been working a long hours for like the past 10 days, but I kind of need
to.
So in working the long hours, what would it look, would it be possible, would it be possible
for you to distill your non-negotiable list?
So when you do have the opportunity that you can move forward, does that make sense?
Yeah, it's definitely something to look into, like, yeah.
So, so can we, can we, I mean, next week, can we chat about it?
Like what you kind of, or wrestle with it if you have things to think about, does that
sound like a plan for two weeks?
I just want to get you moving, bro.
You know, like you're an amazing dude and I know you've had, the enemy always comes
at us to like try to stop us, but whoever gets to marry you is going to be a one blessed
gal.
And I just really want you to, if I can help like to get you there and rejoice, right?
Yeah.
And I know you've been through the fire, right?
I've been through the fire, bro.
I can understand why you're reticent to do things, but you know, I would love it if you
got that list down and like, and really kind of just thought about it.
And so that way, when you do find somebody,
you can be like, yeah.
Like this gal that I'm dating right now,
like the police officer, never actually,
dude, you guys, that was never even in my grid.
And then I'm like, I don't even know how I feel about this.
I'm like, well, it's not a non-negotiable
because it was never even on my list,
but I'm like, and it's a yes until it's a no.
But like, then I'm like, I wonder if she could take me.
Like, I was like, no, she just tased me
and that wouldn't be any fun, right?
My previous one was a yes until it was a no.
You know, one where I had two video chats.
Yeah.
Well, and when I was talking about you guys
and why we're asking and why we're doing this
and why I'm trying to encourage,
and I love Christopher's, you know,
and like you guys were, if you're not in it,
you can't win it, right?
And not to be in it just to get bludgeoned and bloodied,
right, but like to be growing and like,
oh, like my online skills have gotten
a heck of a lot better.
Still not great.
You know, I've run into so many bear traps,
but so yeah, and I saw Tim a minute ago.
Sorry, Tim, are you-
Let's try Dan.
He's got new gear on.
He's got new hardware.
Dan's got new gears on?
He's got new hardware on, yeah.
All right.
Okay, Dan, can we hear you now?
Hopefully.
Yes!
Touchdown!
All I had to do was just switch to my gym gear, so.
Oh yeah.
So are you in the game?
I suppose so.
I started, I already did the hard work thing.
I got in contact with a coach.
I'm just kind of like following like what her advice is.
She recommends-
Dude, go!
Well, the thing is like she recommends,
she's like, how do you feel about online dating?
I'm like, let's like, let me tell you something.
Six different dating apps in five years,
not a single like a response thing.
I don't know if I have the heart to do that again,
unless I get help or something like that.
Yeah.
So then she was like, okay,
just go spend these next two weeks or so
going to some events,
just like have a pad handy,
write down like what somebody says that like interests me
and you know, why I go.
And then we'll take it from there
in terms of how I could connect with these people.
And I'm just waiting to hear back from that coach,
but we'll see what happens.
So like, Dan, get out there, right?
And when you're out there,
get gussied up, take good pictures for your profile.
Think of every time you go out somewhere as a profile thing,
because really what people want to see on profiles
is you living.
So go out and live and take pictures of it.
You know, no gym, fish pictures.
I don't forget what it was.
Like if you combine all the worst pictures in the world,
like, you know.
I traveled abroad and I hope I picked up some good selfies.
Yeah.
And so I would like, I have my friend,
like my profile pictures, my friend took.
I was like, hey, you know,
well, I mean, I was doing an event with her.
But like, I think that's a thing that I take terrible pictures.
So like having somebody has been super helpful.
Cool.
Well, hey, Dan, I'm really glad that you're in the game.
And dude, I get the whole,
like the first time I was on 12 apps
and it was brutal, right?
Like, well, and I was not,
the height was 12 because some of them were just terrible.
And I mean, I got on them and I'm like,
yeah, no, we're good.
So I, but I had 12 at one time.
That's my record.
Now I'm on three.
I don't do Bumble or Hinge anymore
because I was having escorts offer me services.
And it just seems to just boobs everyone.
And you guys, to keep your purity, some of these things,
you need to limit your exposure
because even if they're unattractive,
like just the constant looking at,
it's gonna get your testosterone up.
So be careful of that little pitfall
because that's not super awesome.
Right.
And then, like I say, dude,
I have like escorts messaging me.
They're like, hey, and I'm like, look, see you later.
Anyways, but like, that's why I'm on Arc and Holy.
And I really, yeah.
Oh, okay.
All right.
So, hey, Tim, can you just talk to me?
Sorry, sorry, Tim.
I was reading Tim's thing.
So just be careful with that.
You know, Coffee Meets Bagel is pretty cool,
but I think they're area specific.
And they're, for me, this is gonna sound super terrible,
but oh well.
I find Asian women beautiful, but not attractive, if that makes sense.
And so coffee meets bagel in my area is like 95% Asian.
Right?
Like, and so, and dude, I got so many freaking hits on that.
Do you like pho, Mike?
Do you like pho and ramen?
I hate pho.
Do you like pho?
You hate pho?
I'm not a soup, dude.
Give me a steak.
You're not a soup?
Well, it's not going to work out with the Asians.
That's it.
Boom.
It's over.
And I don't like fish.
You don't like fish eyeballs?
Oh, okay.
This was before I started puking on my computer.
So anyway, so like, um,
Sounds like a big problem to have, man.
So, and, and the thing is, so anyway, watch now.
That's great.
Anyway, like, you know, it's funny because usually when you have something,
the lawyer's like, oh, let's work on that.
But, um, but my, my whole thing, coffee meets bagel for me that,
but if, if you like Asian women, like it started by an Asian couple,
if I remember, right.
I really like it.
I like how they did it.
It's limited.
Um, but, uh, Arc Holy upward and Holy are the ones that have been really
hitting for me.
Um, Arc, I've had a couple of really quality.
Um, it just didn't work.
Right.
Yeah.
And so, um,
I'm going to be in Fresno one of these days and I'm going to hang out with
Abram. I'm going to go on a date, you know?
Uh, well, and, and that's something to you guys.
I mean, I wish I had a place where I'd be like, Hey,
if there's something that says they come crash on my pad and, um,
hopefully the Lord will bring that.
But, um, oh shoot.
It's five 55.
What the heck?
How did we go through the almost a whole hour?
Hey, uh, so Tim, can you just, can you speak on audio?
Where are you at?
Where you at?
How you doing?
I know you got bad.
Um, if not, that's okay, dude.
I know.
I know sometimes when I'm on my phone,
I want to throw it through a fricking wall because like, you know,
I'll be trying to hear you guys.
It is.
All right.
Uh, I think we lost him.
Um, all right, you guys, you know what?
One of the, sorry, I was looking at the supernatural Saturday.
Um,
so one of the things in,
in across the board, you guys, um,
you guys got to kill passivity.
Like, so what?
Okay.
So, uh, Mr.
Henshaw, one of the reasons why I'm like the non-negotiate,
like everybody, like everybody,
like the one of the reasons why I was saying like the non-negotiables
are really important is, and you need to know.
Okay.
So let me refer to this.
Guys.
Hang on.
Hang on one sec, Mr.
Hunter.
I want to articulate.
I'm going to try to articulate this better when you know what you like,
and you know what you want, when you see it, you can go get it.
But if you're coming into situations where you're like,
I don't really know what I want.
Do I like that?
Like yesterday, the cop thing, right?
I froze.
Because it wasn't even in my grid.
And then I'm like, it's kind of attractive.
I think she, you know, like, you know, you know what I mean?
Like, uh,
And I don't have anything to hide, so I'm not really worried, but like,
but I wasn't able.
I mean, I literally, it stunned me for a second.
Which.
And so, which is, which I became passive in that versus commanding the
plate.
You know what I'm saying?
So the more you get reps in the more app, even if you have.
Even if you're not having things come to fruition,
the process gets you to know what you want.
And then the more you get reps in the more app,
even if you have, even if you're not having things come to fruition,
The process gets you to know what you want.
So when you do see what you want, you can go get it.
You can be the full you.
You can be the presence.
You can be masculine and you can go seize it versus like coming up.
Well, I might like you.
I might not like you.
They feel that dude.
If you come in and you go, dude, I want, you know, like I'm,
I'm a stud and I'm valuable, but I want you.
And you're not like a pushover where you're like,
let me kiss the ground that you walk on.
You guys, dude, if, if you're kissing, if you're doing that,
you're never going to, it's never going to,
they lose respect instantaneously.
And so, so you need to be masculine.
You need to be walking in your strength, not idiocy,
not toxic masculinity, but your strength.
And a man with a plan or a man who knows what he wants is a powerful thing.
So when you come into these situations versus like, oh my gosh,
this is a blood bath.
It's the dating pool.
You know, like that's all going to kill your vibe.
Right.
Where you're like, you know what?
I'm going to go into this opportunity.
I'm going to have some fun.
Right.
I'm going to go, I'm going to,
I got a hot woman that I'm going to see and don't know if it's going to
work out or not, but man, I'm going to have a great time.
And I'm going to be fully me.
I'm in the gal.
I mean, I course corrected yesterday really well because, you know, like,
but like, but I could feel that I got passive.
Cause I'm like, Ooh, shoot.
What do I do?
Cause I, I, I, I had this, what do I do?
I didn't think.
of this and so the more you have your list of non-negotiables and I think when you if you think
about all your preferences that's a massive list right like you know so but if you're like hey
um this thing that just came up cop that's not on my top three it's not my non-negotiables we're
good I mean two seconds and I'm through does that does that make sense where you you're actually
establishing what you know and what you want so you can walk in confidence in it because
every woman wants somebody who to lead them I don't know how many women I hear like oh he's
passive he's this and that and they just want you but how I know I'm not the only one trying to in
but we have to have self-respect where I have to be the instigator and try to make this a one-sided
relationship but I can't have that either well so so okay being strong doesn't and not passive
doesn't mean you're the you're carrying everything actually if you're carrying everything that means
you're not being strong because you can be like you gotta allow for like hey you gotta come you
gotta come across the table too if you're carrying the whole thing that's not a relationship that's
that you need them to come but if you don't give them that's the most awkward thing is that like
giving the pause and letting it rest for a minute and letting them engage right you know um and if
you can't do that um because you're freaking out that's not there there needs to be that tension
tension I guess yeah that's the right word like when you you make room for them you break you
you stay strong you be tension not a jerk but you're just like you don't enable that
they have to come play too I guess it's the way you know you make sure that it's ping pong
right and you're working together but but that you come in with you know what because I mean
there's a there's a lot of tests crap tests right they'll be like you think you could I mean like
can you handle me being sassy right and if they're being a little snarky do you react or do you like
like whatever like you know like you know I mean they're I don't know why they do it but they do it
a lot of times and healthier women don't do it as much right you know and so and and I and you guys
I really really really really I've been on the apps I've been doing all that I get spotlighted
and try to find somebody in the group because here's here's the thing about that you guys
is I know we're over time and I want to wrap this up in a minute but the ladies in the group
have coaches you guys have similar you've been through the heart work you have um similarities
like you have a similar framework and that's that can help you walk into it confidently too
right and so um I know there's um and as soon as the Lord said for me I know if I if I I'm allowed
to date long distance but if I do it's going to shift a lot of things for me and so I have taken
that with like very um weighty because I know where I'm at I'm supposed to be where I'm at right
now um and so do I want to date long distance dude there's been so many girls I'm like um and
but I know that I'm not you know and so but if you can dude go because you know um and and Kevin
I'm actually kind of really excited for you Kevin because you know a lot of times change we hate it
but like it's what leads to life so um can I pray us out and um anything before I go but
hey guys you guys all good yeah you guys gonna get your non-negotiable so you can walk in there
with swag and be like yo baby let's go I got good news I'm gonna see a camp I'm gonna see a
counselor this week uh that's paid by my work my workplace awesome he says her mental health is
important uh yeah you got to get your ducks in a row so you you don't chase other people's ducks
that are on the rope it's not what it's cracked up to be ask me how I know man like you know
one of the things I realized I've had
probably a dozen of the woman I married approached me in the same way and now I'm like
run but before I'd have been like yes you know I'd walk right into the trap why because I did
the heartwork and I'm still doing the heartwork like due to Sunday Saturday you guys I was in
the heartwork again so the heartwork isn't something you do just to get in the club into
the group it's something that helps you get maintain good relationships and live well
you know do the heartwork for you
Not to get in a relationship.
Yeah.
See, Christopher? Yeah, you're learning your type.
Like, you don't even know, I mean, honestly,
you don't know your type, and you're like, I think this is my type.
I don't know how many people, I'm like, this is my type.
And then I'm like, no, it's actually not my type.
Um, and, um,
so, but,
here, let's pray this out then. Lord Jesus,
I just thank you for all these men and all the ones that will listen
to this recording.
Lord, would you bring their spirit mates,
would you align their hearts and their minds
and help them to be living in their masculine
and fully healed
and fully whole, and would you bring their
spirit mates and be working in them as well?
And, um, would you bring
wisdom on whether
long distance, long distance,
no distance, um,
whether it's on apps, whether it's in the group,
but Lord, I just pray
every one of these men, you would just touch
and heal their hearts, their minds, their spirits,
and give them eyes to see
and ears to hear their spouse.
And I just pray that their, um,
their spirit mates' hearts would
also be enlarged
to see them as well.
But Lord, we just thank you that you're amazing
and that you have great plans and a future
and a hope for everybody here.
And Lord, help us to seize everything
that you have for us. In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Love you guys, man. You guys are awesome.
Keep it up. We'll talk next week.
More testimonies, baby. Let's get some
testimonies.
Later.