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Hey ladies, welcome.

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Welcome to another adventurous night.

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We're going to have a great time together.

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Hopefully there's going to be some awesome breakthroughs and all of the things.

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We'll love to see any of you that can come on camera.

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So I'm not talking to myself, that would be awesome.

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So I'm inviting you to come and join me.

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I see that you have your screens off.

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I see that you're here.

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It still qualifies, but I do love to see you all.

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So just want to welcome you and if we have any new ladies joining us, I'll kind of circle

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back to this again.

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Let me know that you are here and that you're new.

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We want to welcome you specifically.

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For those of you that are returning, welcome back.

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We're so glad that you're here.

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You're continuing to join us, do the work.

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Hopefully you all are continuing to move forward in the actual coursework.

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If any of you are stuck in the coursework, we want you to come into the group and tell

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us because here's the reality.

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Most people get stuck because of fear of facing something.

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That happens a lot.

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A lot of people get, well not everybody, but some people get stuck in all different weeks,

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but a lot of people get stuck in Repentance and Confession Week and Forgiveness Week because

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there are a lot of people that just aren't sure they're ready to forgive a certain person

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or there's just a lot of different aspects.

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Some people even get stuck in the week number one because they're just not sure about this

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whole heartwork journey.

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Is it really going to work because the enemy is speaking lies to them?

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So many different factors.

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So if what I'm saying applies to you in any way, like you're struggling to even do the

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work, to read the book, to watch the videos, and you just feel stuck regarding moving forward,

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if you have not already received coaching on that, definitely want you to come in the

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group.

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Talk to us about it.

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Let us help you through that.

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If you've already received coaching on that topic, I want to encourage you to apply the

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things that you have been coached on.

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Super important.

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As you all go through this process, even when you all go into future groups and sessions

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of our course, if you decide to do so, there's going to be coaches that are going to coach

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you on relationship stuff.

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Jackie's going to be coaching you on different things.

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I'm going to be coaching in the other phases.

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We have some other coaches as well.

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The reality is that some people come to this community, they want to be coached, but yet

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they don't want to take the coach's advice.

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It always kind of dumbfounds me.

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Whatever that is in us that causes us to reject what we're hearing, we need to be willing

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to look at that as well.

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Not that that's even happening with any of you all, but it's something that just was

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stirring in my spirit a lot today.

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I just want to encourage you to not ignore that stuff.

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There's a reason why we struggle with certain types of things.

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Don't get stuck in isolation.

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Come into the group.

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Talk to us about it.

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Let us help you.

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Again, if you're new for the first time, make sure you put in the chat for us that you're

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new so we can welcome you.

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We want to say hi to you specifically for my ladies coming back.

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Again, for those of you that have joined recently, welcome back.

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All right, let me go through a couple of their housekeeping things.

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Here's one of the things that we know also impacts people.

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FOMO, the fear of missing out.

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There are some people that they are afraid they're going to miss their spirit mate.

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Even if some guy that's unhealthy pops up into their lives when they're in the heartwork,

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even though we're press and pause as we recommend here in the heartwork, some women will just

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be so afraid that they're going to miss a guy that they'll just quit working on themselves

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and go off course and start talking to that person.

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I want to encourage you all to stay dialed in.

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You're not going to miss out on your spirit mate.

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You know that that's not possible, right?

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I hope you do.

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If you don't yet, I hope that you do by the end of this heartwork course.

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God has a plan for you and God's going to help you walk into the fullness, the fullness,

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the good, good plan for your life that we're going to talk a lot more about tonight.

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If you will trust him to help you walk that path out, he will.

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So go ahead and partner with that.

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You're not missing out on anything.

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You don't have to rush through super fast to get to the next phase, to get to all the

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men because a lot of people come in and they think they're just going to get to all these

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men.

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We got to get to the men.

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We got to get to the men.

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And then they rush through heartwork and you all, they end up regretting it later on.

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Okay.

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You got to let the heartwork work.

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And so be here, be all in.

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And I promise you it will pay off.

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All right.

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Um, here's another thing I want to encourage.

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encourage you on. Last night, during our prophetic ministry night, which if you did not know,

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we do that once a month, the last Sunday night of every month, we come on with our prophetic

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team, some of our prayer leaders that are able to operate in the prophetic, and we do

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our best to listen to the Lord and bring the word to minister to our last year single community.

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And one of the things last night was just that God had showed me a word about people

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really struggling with, feeling like they just are regretting the past. Like if the

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song that God brought up in my spirit was an old Cher song, and I don't even know if

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I have my notes with me right here, let me see if I can find them, because I can't remember

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the words now. If I could turn back time, if I could find a way, that was the lyric

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line that I specifically heard. And what God was showing me is that there are some people

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in our community that are looking at their past, and they're just really struggling

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with regrets. And, you know, just always wishing they could turn back time that they could

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do something different. Y'all, we've all been there at one point or another. But if that's

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something you like struggle with over and over and over, God is encouraging us as a

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community to let that go. You know, the only way to move forward is to move forward, you

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got to stop, we have to all stop looking at the past, we cannot change what's already

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done. We can't. So all we can do is move forward, release those things, give yourself

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permission and freedom to move forward in strength and grace. And God will show you

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how much when we do that, a lot of things will start to get accelerated. And one of

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the things I want to bring to the table tonight on that note, is that we don't want to allow

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the what I call the shiny things to distract us either. So whatever that shiny thing might

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be for you, okay, whatever it is, we all have them. It could even be friends, you know,

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people just start messaging you because everybody needs help all of a sudden, and it makes you

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feel good to feel needed by people. And so you put aside your own things and start just

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helping everybody else. Maybe that's your shiny thing. Maybe it's social media, getting

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caught up with that shiny thing, always what's going on with other people. Let's just live

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our lives for this season, okay? How much could we get done if we all just kind of hone

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in and live our lives, stop kind of living vicariously through other people and then

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also getting depressed because other people have things that we don't have, technically,

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because they're posting about it on social media. Let me just say this, I'm going to

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spoil something for y'all. Do you know that there are a lot of people that post online

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about amazing marriages and they don't have amazing marriages? A lot, okay? So let's learn

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how to have a healthy marriage by first having a healthy heart ourselves so that you all

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can actually have healthy marriages that you can post about one day and be excited to share

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with the world. Not everybody's posting that's not really having that experience, but I just

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want you guys to kind of remember, you know, people, a lot of people in our world post

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highlight reels. You see their house clean, you see their kids all smiling and happy.

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Everybody's happy most of the time, okay? So let's not compare our lives to someone's

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highlight reel. Let's just kind of hone in and say, okay, Lord, what do you have for

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me right now? And know that he has a good plan that he wants to lead you into, but he

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wants to help you heal so that when you get to the good plan, you actually have the capacity

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to receive it. Do y'all know that some of you, if you got your husband right now, you

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would not be ready for him. That's truth. And we love you enough to tell you that. So

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let's get in, do the hard work, let God do what he needs to do, and it's going to be

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really awesome. Last thing I want to give you on this note, I love this quote. I cannot

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remember where I heard it. I wish I would have written down exactly what book I read

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it in. I apologize that I don't know it, but this is what it said. It impacted me so much

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that I wrote it on a post-it note and I stuck it on my ring light for like a whole year.

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And so every time I would coach for a while, this quote would be looking me in the face,

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and this is what it is. I'm the perfect age for everything that God has for me right now.

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I'm the perfect age for everything that God has for me right now. The reason this impacted

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me, I was already married at this time, but we've been trying to get pregnant since we've

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gotten, got married. We've been married almost four years. Some things haven't gone as planned.

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And even in the process of moving towards that,

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I would hear the enemy kind of saying things to me like you know all your

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friends kids are going to college and you're you're just gonna start having a

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kid you know all these things that would start coming up and so when I saw that

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quote I was just like yes yes this is truth I don't need to worry about what

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everybody else has going on I just need to know that I am the perfect age for

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everything that God has for me right now so for those of you that are struggling

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because you feel like you missed out on something and you're you know you wanted

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to be married before now I get it I really do some of you you know want the

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kids and all the things too and I believe those things will happen for you

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we have faith for you for that but here's the reality we have to stop you

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know again looking back regretting getting stuck in all of that because if

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we're stuck back there if we're stuck in those thoughts we cannot move forward

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successfully we can't because we're tied back there so will you receive the

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truth tonight that you are the perfect age right now for everything that God

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has for you right now so that you can learn how to be content in today we have

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Supernatural Saturday replay you want to check that out as well Jackie took

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last week's message further into Jesus cares for you and what all does that

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mean and really encouraged our community as a whole to for those that have

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already done their Jesus cares board some of them four years ago myself I did

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mine back in 2021 so mine was five years ago I've revamped mine over the years

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several times but it was a good reminder for me again as you guys know a couple

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weeks ago live I was like oh I gotta put that on my board as I was coaching you

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all so it's happy it happens all the time this is a this is a tool that we

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can use the rest of our lives so that we can practice supernatural surrender on a

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regular basis it's such a good replay and again if that prophetic ministry

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night replay is not up yet it will be up in the next day all right let me pray

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for us father thank you so much God thank you for the things that have

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already been said I pray that you would help it to land in hearts that can

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receive it God I thank you that you are not a man that you should lie God that

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you're doing a work and our hearts our minds our bodies our spirits our souls

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greater than anything we could ever imagine or ask for think of God you have

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plans and promises for us God that even even as I had a dream last night and I

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was seeking you father about this God you just started reminding me that there

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are things that I dreamed of when I was a kid God that things that you want to

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bring back to life and so I just declare that over these ladies tonight that you

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would give them new dreams that you would awaken old dreams God that you

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would just give them a glimpse God through your eyes how you see them Lord

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that you would remove every lie of the enemy every hindrance everything that

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causes them to feel regret God give them peace give them grace we thank you for

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your healing balm of Gilead being placed upon every wound God that you

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would just bring everything out of darkness into the light so there can be

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revealing for healing open their eyes to see the world more clearly give them a

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fresh sense of awe and wonder of who you are God and your creation and all that

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you have for them and surrounding around them God yes Lord I thank you that you

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would help them to not look down but to look up to look up for where their help

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does come from it is from the maker of heaven and earth God that you are Jehovah

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Jireh who provides for us thank you Lord that what we have need of that we can

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ask you God and that you do hear us Lord in the moments when we feel

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frustrated because we feel like you're not answering God help us to remember

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that the answer if you gave it to us right then it might harm us or there

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might be a reason that you're not saying yes for our good I thank you God

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that you protect us that you lead us into wide open spaces that you even in

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Isaiah 43 19 you declare that you're gonna do a new thing can we not perceive

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it God help us to perceive it tonight in a fresh way we just thank you for all

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these things in Jesus name amen tonight we're talking about the real you what

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does that mean and a lot more depth if you're brand new in this heart work

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course welcome again I want you to know that you're at the right time at the

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right place we kind of bring content from all different weeks of the course

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so this is content that's from officially week five that I'm going to

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talk about tonight but that's totally great that you're here even if you're in

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week one because God knew you were gonna join when you joined so receive out all

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the things that are going to come out let him

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come in and germinate and you know kind of plant seeds in your heart and even as you're working

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through weeks one through four, it's going to prepare you to receive week five in a fresh way

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all over again. So God has good things in store for everybody tonight. I want you to understand

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that your true identity is who God told you you were going to be long before wounds or trauma

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ever entered your life. It's who he originally created us to be. We were born into flesh so yes

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we were born you know just being sinful in nature but that does not hinder God's plan for us even

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from the beginning of time. And so I want you just to ask yourself this question. We hear this in

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scripture and well I've I've focused on it a lot because it really stood out to me and God used it

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massively in my heart in life and so maybe you haven't heard it or had anybody preach about it

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but I love to pull out the scripture who told you that you were naked from Genesis from the story

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of Adam and Eve after they have eaten of the fruit and God is looking for them in the garden

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he was seeking them out you all. Here's the really amazing thing. Do you think that God didn't know

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where they were? Just think about that. God knows all things. He's omnipresent but he was still

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seeking them out. I believe it was a display of God's affection for them his intimacy his

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relationship language he was seeking them out and when when he came close to them he said where are

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you again he could have just been like hey I see you but he didn't he asked them where are you

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and if you guys check out the story I'm going to read it here to you in a minute we're going to

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learn what it says but I want you to think about something as I'm reading this to you

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you are no longer under the rubble you're no longer under the mess of the past

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the enemy always wants to cause us to believe that we're still

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under the rubble that we have no way out that there's no hope I feel the holy spirit on this

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that there's no hope for us

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God blesses everybody else but us he just he just does mean bad things to us and he doesn't love us

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to us and he doesn't love us really this is stuff the enemy says to us he tries to convince us

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over and over again that we are just left alone in the garden so to speak

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you've made a bad mistake and there's no way out and none of that is true here's what Genesis

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chapter 3 verses 8 through 11 says then the man and his wife heard the sound of the lord so they

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heard God coming

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they heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day

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and they hid from the Lord among the trees of the garden but the Lord God called to man where

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are you he being Adam answered I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked so I

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hid verse 11 and he said God saying to Adam who told you that you were naked have you eaten from

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the tree that I commanded you not to eat from so here we have this interaction happening between

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God and Adam Eve isn't even in on the mix yet she's standing there but God is speaking directly

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to Adam and he's saying okay here's the thing I like imagine imagine this truth Adam walked with

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God before Eve was ever created in the garden on a regular basis I mean can you just imagine the

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closeness there there had to be some level of understanding of the connection he and God have

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and so then when God told them not to eat of the fruit

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this is how the serpent sneaks in he said something that was partial truth and then he

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twisted it and because of that they believed the lie and because they believed the lie they ate of

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the fruit Eve first and then she offered to her husband but here's the reality Adam was standing

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there too Adam could have said Eve don't don't eat that fruit now Eve could have still you know

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made a decision whether to listen to Adam or not but you know there's just a lot of things

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that we don't think about all this stuff sometimes but this is the reality

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they both were there. You know there's a lot of people that blame Adam and

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there's a lot of people that blame Eve but the reality is is they were both

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there in the garden when they ate the fruit. Okay? But God came looking for them.

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He already knew they ate the fruit and he came looking for them anyways. He's

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always seeking closeness in relationship and here's the thing God is asking them

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he's calling them out. Where are you? And he's saying come out of hiding. That's

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what he was saying to Adam and Eve essentially. Come out of hiding. Come out

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of that place. Why are you? Why? Where are you? And God is saying the same to you

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tonight. He's saying come out of hiding. It's time to show up more fully in the

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world. I never intended for you to be isolated and alone. I never intended for

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you to believe the lie that you don't have a plan or a purpose or that I don't

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have good things for you. I never intended for those harmful things to

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happen to you. Here's the definition of what it actually means to come out of

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hiding. I want you all to hear this. Being authentic. Being present. Being engaged in

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life. Intentionally choosing to be present in the moment. Hence what I

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started with tonight. I did that intentionally. Recognizing your true self.

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So when the enemy is telling us other things that we partner with the truth we

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recognize. We continue to pray and ask God to help us see ourselves the way he

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sees us. Actively. Okay, keyword. Actively participating in life with purpose and

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intention. Not holding anything back. That's the tricky part sometimes isn't

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it? Not holding anything back. We say we want love but then love is a risk.

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Sometimes if you're like me we're pursuing potentially fostering kids and

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then all of a sudden I'm thinking about all the things we're gonna have to give

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up. Selfishness enters. Flesh enters. All these thoughts from the enemy enter and

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we have a choice to make. Are we gonna live fully? Are we gonna hold back? It's

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always up to us. God's gonna love us no matter what because he is love. He's not

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he doesn't deny himself. He is love. He loves everything about us. Now the

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choices we make can create distance though. That's the reality. So are you

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being fully intentional even with the Lord? When we show up as our authentic

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selves we often give other people permission to do the same thing. Even our

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kids, our parents, friends. Sometimes people don't like when we change. That's

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the other flip side. We start getting healthy and then guess what? It disrupts

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other people doesn't it? And then all of a sudden it's like wait a minute why why

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are you acting like that? But then we have other people that are celebrating

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the change in us and they're like what's going on with you? I noticed something

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different. You seem more peaceful. You seem more happy. You seem lighter. If

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you're not there yet you'll get there. You will get there and people will say

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that kind of stuff to you. We're all on a journey every single day to grow into

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the understanding of who we are in Christ as well as who he originally

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created us to be before the trauma or wounds ever entered. That's the journey

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we're on ladies. Every day that God help me to understand more who I am in you.

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Who did you create me to be before this happened? Is there any part of yourself

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this is something else I want you to think about and if you have thoughts

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that come to you tonight as I'm talking about any of this stuff try to jot those

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down or you can go back and listen to the replay and jot them down at that

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time if you just want to kind of take it in tonight's totally fine. Here's the

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question is there any part of yourself where you tend to hold back with people

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even when they are safe people? So what I'm saying is when you get around safe

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people is there ever a part of yourself that you still hold back? You don't let

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people see that part of you. Y'all there's definitely things I let my

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husband see and know about me that I don't let other people know and I'm not

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just talking about intimate things right now. I'm talking about the Bethany that

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crawls on the ground trying to scare her husband army style. Yes I do that kind of

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stuff you all. I love it. I love to scare him.

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I love to hide behind doors.

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Now, I do that with my best friend.

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I've known her my whole life, since preschool, literally.

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And I'm like that with my husband.

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Those are two people that have known me a long time.

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You know, I'm telling you guys these things,

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so I'm giving you a glimpse behind the curtain.

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But the reality is I don't let everybody see that.

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And that's not a bad thing.

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But the reality is that there are more people sometimes

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that I would love to invite into that world.

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But I hold back.

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Because I don't know that...

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Even some of my humor or things that I think are funny

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might not be what other people think are funny.

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Or I'm a very deep, caring person,

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so people tend to think I'm serious.

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I am. I tend to be serious.

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But I'm very...

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Like, I love to be lighthearted and fun, too.

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I love adventure.

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I mean, ziplining, horseback riding,

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you know, parasailing, all that kind of stuff.

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I love it. I love to do it.

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I love to experience the world.

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And so there's these aspects of myself

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that not everybody sees, right?

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Because they're not up close and personal in my life.

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But there's even more than that, isn't there?

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What about the deepest places of our heart,

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how we really feel about some things?

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Some of you are like,

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OK, I want to be with someone,

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but I'm not going to tell them about that.

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Now, keep in mind,

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I'm not telling you to tell every single person in your life

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every detail of your life.

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I don't even know that you need to do that

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with your future spirit mate.

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I don't think it's healthy to unearth all of the past

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just because you're with someone new.

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I don't think they have to know everything to be with you.

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No.

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You need to pray and ask the Lord

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what you're supposed to share with them.

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OK?

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I'm not saying lie to them.

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I'm saying that there's not a need for everything

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to be talked about that you've gone through in your life.

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One of the best things Brian ever said to me,

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we were chatting when we were still dating,

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and I was talking to him about the past,

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and he grew up in a very different life than I did.

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He gave his life to the Lord at like 16.

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He was pastoring and preaching at 19.

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Yeah, that was not my story.

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So you all, I lived a little differently,

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and I had a lot of different experiences than he had,

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and so that was a little kind of like,

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what's he going to think about this,

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and should I tell him this, and should I tell him this?

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And I remember just kind of lightly talking to him about it,

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and he said, all I need to know is who you are now.

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That's what I need to know.

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Who are you now?

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I don't need to know all that history.

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Obviously, we talked about the most important things.

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He knew about my brothers.

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He knew about some other big T traumas

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that I felt were important for him to know about,

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but I thought that that was so revealing and good,

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and so I just want to kind of deposit that

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into you guys tonight.

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Some of you have deep fear

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that you're going to have to tell these people

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every single thing about your life,

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and healthy people don't need all of that.

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I did not need all of that from Brian either, okay?

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So I just want to ease your mind,

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but are there things like little quirky aspects of yourself,

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kind of like I was saying, you know,

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that I love to scare people

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or other little fun things I like to do

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that maybe you don't let certain people see

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that you hold back from the world?

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I'm going to read a couple song lyrics to you.

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I love music, you all.

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That's why I talk to you guys about songs and movies.

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I'm going to talk about a movie tonight.

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God speaks to me through media a lot,

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so that's why I tend to use it during sessions,

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but here is the song.

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If you've not heard it before,

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it's called Out of Hiding by Stephanie Gretzinger.

401
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Highly recommend listening to the song this week

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to let this kind of go in a little deeper.

403
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This is what it says.

404
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Come out of hiding.

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You're safe here with me.

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There's no need to cover what I already see.

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You've got your reasons, but I hold your peace.

408
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You've been on lockdown, and I hold the key.

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Because I've loved you before, you knew it was love,

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and I saw it all, still I chose the cross.

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And you were the one that I was thinking of

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when I rose from the grave.

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Now rid of the shackles, my victory is yours.

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I tore the veil for you to come close.

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There's no reason to stand at a distance anymore.

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You're not far from home.

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Ladies, what we align with matters.

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What thoughts are you currently aligning with

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in your heart, in your life right now

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that you can share with me?

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do not sound like heaven.

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And when I say this, you know, this phrase a lot,

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people are like, well, what does heaven sound like?

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If you're not sure, ask the Father, ask Jesus,

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ask the Holy Spirit to show you what heaven sounds like.

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One thing I know for sure, heaven is a positive place.

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The Bible says we're gonna sing holy, holy, holy,

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is the Lord God Almighty, holy, holy all the time.

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It's gonna be holy, holy.

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There's gonna be probably beautiful things I imagine.

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I mean, look around in our broken world

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and look at the beauty.

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Can you imagine how much more expansive and beautiful

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it's gonna be when we get to heaven?

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At least that's the way I think of it.

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I just can't imagine it's not gonna be

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even more wonderful than this.

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Did you know that you are a supernova?

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You are, Amy, you are a supernova.

440
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Hannah, you are a supernova.

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Sarah, Marks, you're a supernova.

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What do I mean by that?

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I mean that you're carrying something on the inside of you

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that can change the world.

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I believe that for every single one of you.

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If you guys haven't been on a session with me before

447
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and I say people's names,

448
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I just do what I feel led by the Holy Spirit to say or do.

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And so it doesn't mean that all of y'all

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don't have supernova capability in you.

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That's just the three people God was highlighting to me

452
00:31:27.720 --> 00:31:29.640
on this screen in that moment.

453
00:31:29.640 --> 00:31:31.440
But each one of you are carrying something

454
00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:34.760
on the inside of you to change the world.

455
00:31:34.760 --> 00:31:37.760
Matthew 5, 14 through 16 in the message translation

456
00:31:37.760 --> 00:31:41.320
says this, here's another way to put it.

457
00:31:42.320 --> 00:31:43.720
You're here to be light,

458
00:31:43.720 --> 00:31:46.760
bringing out the God colors in the world.

459
00:31:46.760 --> 00:31:48.840
God is not a secret to be kept.

460
00:31:48.840 --> 00:31:52.360
We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill.

461
00:31:52.360 --> 00:31:53.680
If I make you lightbearers,

462
00:31:53.680 --> 00:31:56.020
you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket,

463
00:31:56.060 --> 00:31:57.260
do you?

464
00:31:57.260 --> 00:31:59.220
I'm putting you on a light stand.

465
00:31:59.220 --> 00:32:01.140
Now that I've put you there on a hilltop,

466
00:32:01.140 --> 00:32:03.380
on a light stand, shine.

467
00:32:03.380 --> 00:32:04.700
Keep open house.

468
00:32:04.700 --> 00:32:05.860
Think about that ladies.

469
00:32:05.860 --> 00:32:10.580
He's saying, keep your hearts and your spirits open.

470
00:32:10.580 --> 00:32:13.180
Keep open house, be generous with your lives.

471
00:32:13.180 --> 00:32:14.500
By opening up to others,

472
00:32:14.500 --> 00:32:18.260
you'll prompt people to open up to God,

473
00:32:18.260 --> 00:32:21.780
this generous father in heaven.

474
00:32:21.780 --> 00:32:24.180
Are you keeping open house?

475
00:32:24.180 --> 00:32:26.720
Or are you on lockdown like that song?

476
00:32:26.720 --> 00:32:30.600
But remember, he said, you've been on lockdown,

477
00:32:30.600 --> 00:32:31.540
but I hold the key.

478
00:32:31.540 --> 00:32:32.860
But remember, he's a gentleman.

479
00:32:32.860 --> 00:32:34.560
He's not going to force his way in.

480
00:32:36.300 --> 00:32:39.060
He's standing at the door and he's knocking.

481
00:32:39.060 --> 00:32:41.620
Romans 8, 37 through 39 says this,

482
00:32:41.620 --> 00:32:42.500
knowing all these things,

483
00:32:42.500 --> 00:32:45.600
we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

484
00:32:45.600 --> 00:32:48.240
For I am convinced that neither death nor life,

485
00:32:48.240 --> 00:32:49.620
neither angels nor demons,

486
00:32:49.620 --> 00:32:51.520
neither the present nor the future,

487
00:32:51.520 --> 00:32:53.880
nor any powers, neither height nor depth,

488
00:32:54.800 --> 00:32:57.880
nor anything else in all of creation

489
00:32:57.880 --> 00:33:01.440
will be able to separate us from the love of God

490
00:33:01.440 --> 00:33:04.240
that is in Christ Jesus, our Lord.

491
00:33:04.240 --> 00:33:09.200
So if God is for you, who can be against you?

492
00:33:11.040 --> 00:33:14.160
If God is for you, what can be against you?

493
00:33:14.160 --> 00:33:16.660
Yes, we all face trials and tribulation, ladies.

494
00:33:16.660 --> 00:33:19.760
But remember, like Jackie talks about this all the time.

495
00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:22.500
I'm so thankful that I've heard her say this

496
00:33:22.500 --> 00:33:25.820
because now I tell other people what she said.

497
00:33:25.820 --> 00:33:29.280
God doesn't have any problems.

498
00:33:31.640 --> 00:33:33.420
And lately, I just find myself,

499
00:33:33.420 --> 00:33:35.340
when I feel a problem we had,

500
00:33:35.340 --> 00:33:36.980
I think I told you guys a couple of weeks ago,

501
00:33:36.980 --> 00:33:40.660
we had a problem rise up with this lady in our church again.

502
00:33:40.660 --> 00:33:43.660
And I just kept saying, Lord, just help us with this

503
00:33:43.660 --> 00:33:45.940
because you don't have any problems.

504
00:33:45.940 --> 00:33:49.480
You already have the solution, so just help us walk it out.

505
00:33:50.180 --> 00:33:53.100
Literally, it just kept taking the weight of it

506
00:33:53.100 --> 00:33:57.020
off of myself, and it kept reminding me.

507
00:33:57.020 --> 00:33:59.660
Every time I would feel that weight try to come back on me,

508
00:33:59.660 --> 00:34:02.420
I would just pray that again to remind myself,

509
00:34:02.420 --> 00:34:04.220
this isn't my weight to carry.

510
00:34:05.460 --> 00:34:08.260
This is an attack of the enemy through this woman, God,

511
00:34:08.260 --> 00:34:09.980
and you're gonna take care of it.

512
00:34:09.980 --> 00:34:11.199
I thank you for it.

513
00:34:12.620 --> 00:34:15.620
Because I'm your daughter, I'm protected by you.

514
00:34:15.620 --> 00:34:17.620
I walk with the full armor of God.

515
00:34:20.480 --> 00:34:25.480
It's so often we don't believe that God is actually for us.

516
00:34:29.860 --> 00:34:32.380
I want you to understand that it is your time.

517
00:34:34.260 --> 00:34:37.100
And I want you to start personalizing.

518
00:34:37.100 --> 00:34:40.780
So it's your time, Fran.

519
00:34:40.780 --> 00:34:42.540
It is your time, Megan.

520
00:34:42.540 --> 00:34:45.699
It is your time, Joey and Cherish.

521
00:34:45.699 --> 00:34:48.219
I want you to think to yourself, your time for what?

522
00:34:48.239 --> 00:34:50.560
Start asking God, what is it my time for?

523
00:34:52.280 --> 00:34:54.880
And I trust that he's gonna show you things,

524
00:34:54.880 --> 00:34:58.080
greater things than you can ever ask, think, or imagine,

525
00:34:58.080 --> 00:35:00.000
that it is your time for those things.

526
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:17.000
All of the ways the enemy has kept you stuck and bound up and all the things in the past like those shackles can break off that God has called us to be kinsmen, redeemers in our family line in this day and age, we are not here by accident.

527
00:35:17.000 --> 00:35:22.000
It is time for the princesses of God to awaken.

528
00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:25.000
Ephesians 5.14 says,

529
00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:34.000
And so I always love to kind of hone in on this awakened by what?

530
00:35:34.000 --> 00:35:36.000
Well, true loves kiss.

531
00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:43.000
I know we all well, I don't know if you all love romantic stories, but you all it is my favorite part.

532
00:35:43.000 --> 00:35:46.000
I always want everybody to end happy.

533
00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:48.000
I'm not happy if they're not happy.

534
00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:50.000
Literally, you can ask my husband.

535
00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:52.000
I don't like angst.

536
00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:55.000
If a movie ends and people aren't in love and feeling good.

537
00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:58.000
No, I don't like it.

538
00:35:58.000 --> 00:36:00.000
I deal with it, but I don't like it.

539
00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:07.000
But I joke around about that because the reality is, is, and when I say this, this isn't some twisted kind of like God's going to kiss you.

540
00:36:07.000 --> 00:36:10.000
It's not that, but there's this true love of heaven.

541
00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:25.000
This experience that God wants us to have and understand what the true love being kissed by the father, our lives being impacted and transformed by him in such a way that it will fully awaken us.

542
00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:45.000
I remember years ago when I was in this course and Jackie and David did this ministry night where they stood in on behalf of fathers and mothers and, and you guys may, some of y'all had may, may have seen them do this before, you know, even in the last few months, but I'll tell you what that night changed my life.

543
00:36:46.000 --> 00:37:00.000
As David was talking and asking for forgiveness on behalf of the fathers, I can't remember it word for word, but he started asking for forgiveness for being in prison and not being there for, for us.

544
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:03.000
And my dad went to prison.

545
00:37:03.000 --> 00:37:05.000
He was an alcoholic.

546
00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:06.000
He was a drug addict.

547
00:37:06.000 --> 00:37:07.000
He went to prison.

548
00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:08.000
He was not there for me.

549
00:37:09.000 --> 00:37:13.000
And because of that, a lot of bad things happened in our home.

550
00:37:14.000 --> 00:37:16.000
You know, there was just a lot of stuff.

551
00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:20.000
And so when David was praying and saying that, man, I just started weeping.

552
00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:21.000
I just started weeping.

553
00:37:21.000 --> 00:37:30.000
And as I was praying into some of the things that they led us to pray for, after all that happened, I saw this vision of myself.

554
00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:33.000
Do you guys remember the old style?

555
00:37:33.000 --> 00:37:42.000
Um, and I don't know if they still do this today, but the old style coffins that were stone, you know, like stone, and then there was stone on top.

556
00:37:42.000 --> 00:37:49.000
I saw myself prophetically inside of this stone coffin and it opened up.

557
00:37:49.000 --> 00:37:51.000
It moved to the side.

558
00:37:51.000 --> 00:37:55.000
As I was like, as we were praying and I'm seeing this vision, I saw it open up.

559
00:37:55.000 --> 00:37:57.000
I saw myself laying in it.

560
00:37:57.000 --> 00:38:00.000
And then I sat right up like straight up.

561
00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:05.000
I sat straight up and I heard the say, the Lord say, come alive.

562
00:38:06.000 --> 00:38:17.000
And so when I teach the session, sometimes I talk about that because you all, the reality is, is that there were things that God was doing in my spirit that night that only he could do.

563
00:38:17.000 --> 00:38:21.000
I don't know if there were other people on there that had dads in prison.

564
00:38:21.000 --> 00:38:25.000
All I know is God was doing something supernatural in me.

565
00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:32.000
I had never, my dad had never apologized for that stuff ever.

566
00:38:32.000 --> 00:38:35.000
He never apologized for cheating on my mom.

567
00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:39.000
My dad and I fought almost every time we were together.

568
00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:45.000
But God, God knew I needed that healing.

569
00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:50.000
But then God had to, he wanted to speak a word to me.

570
00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:55.000
He showed it to me in the vision, but I heard him say, come alive.

571
00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:58.000
And it was just this thing and it solidified something in me.

572
00:38:58.000 --> 00:39:03.000
And so I just want to encourage you all be praying, ask the Lord to show you things.

573
00:39:03.000 --> 00:39:06.000
Maybe it won't come to you the same way it came to me.

574
00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:07.000
And that's okay.

575
00:39:07.000 --> 00:39:13.000
Maybe it'll come through a song or a friend that encourages you, or when you're reading scripture, or maybe God will give you a dream.

576
00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:16.000
I don't know how, but God wants to speak to us.

577
00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:21.000
He wants to show us things because it will awaken you.

578
00:39:22.000 --> 00:39:33.000
You know, when I read scripture and I feel like God's speaking to me through scripture, I feel that a similar way, like, God, you're talking to me right now.

579
00:39:33.000 --> 00:39:36.000
Sometimes, you know, you pray for something.

580
00:39:36.000 --> 00:39:42.000
And then God, you start reading the scripture and God answers what you've been asking him about.

581
00:39:42.000 --> 00:39:46.000
He shows you something and you're just like, God, you have been hearing me.

582
00:39:47.000 --> 00:39:53.000
It's not like I forget, but there's this moment where you realize like, oh my gosh, he does hear me.

583
00:39:53.000 --> 00:39:55.000
And he's responding.

584
00:39:55.000 --> 00:39:56.000
He's always responding.

585
00:39:56.000 --> 00:39:58.000
We just don't always recognize it.

586
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.200
So God wants to awaken you to your true identity, your true God-given identity,

587
00:40:05.200 --> 00:40:10.080
not just what the world has told you, not just what you think, but your true God-given identity.

588
00:40:10.080 --> 00:40:14.800
So my my little movie thing that I want to talk to you guys about really quickly,

589
00:40:15.480 --> 00:40:20.600
I won't take a lot of time on it because of what time it is already, but if you have never seen Wreck-It Ralph,

590
00:40:21.480 --> 00:40:28.840
it's a kids movie, but I love it. It was really good. I saw it years and years ago, but in this movie,

591
00:40:29.600 --> 00:40:34.120
without giving away the whole storyline, there is this young girl named Vanellope.

592
00:40:34.480 --> 00:40:38.440
How many people have seen this movie? Anyone else ever seen it? A couple of y'all?

593
00:40:38.440 --> 00:40:43.840
Oh, got a lot of no's, so you might want to check it out because it's really cute, but um,

594
00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:47.000
Vanellope, and

595
00:40:47.920 --> 00:40:55.480
in this story, she is a glitch because the whole movie is built around like these video game, you know,

596
00:40:56.120 --> 00:40:59.400
in Wreck-It Ralph. Ralph is from another video game, essentially.

597
00:40:59.960 --> 00:41:03.480
Anyways, they go into this alternate game space,

598
00:41:04.440 --> 00:41:07.400
and that's where Vanellope's at, and she's this glitch,

599
00:41:08.280 --> 00:41:15.160
and there's this race, and she's got this race car. The short version of all of this is that

600
00:41:17.320 --> 00:41:20.280
she was never a glitch, but there was a bad guy,

601
00:41:20.280 --> 00:41:23.480
and the way I like to look at it, he was like Satan,

602
00:41:24.360 --> 00:41:27.800
and what he did is he took a part of her out of her,

603
00:41:28.920 --> 00:41:30.920
and that's what made her the glitch.

604
00:41:34.840 --> 00:41:39.800
But here at the end of this of this movie, I literally, I was kind of like, didn't really see it coming,

605
00:41:39.800 --> 00:41:41.800
but then as it started unfolding, I was like,

606
00:41:42.680 --> 00:41:44.680
oh my gosh, now I get it.

607
00:41:45.880 --> 00:41:48.280
She was never a glitch, you all.

608
00:41:48.360 --> 00:41:50.360
She was actually a princess,

609
00:41:52.520 --> 00:41:56.920
but because some of, so many of you have not seen the movie, I don't want to tell you too much more.

610
00:41:56.920 --> 00:42:01.560
I already told you too much, but I didn't want to not say it because it's kind of the key

611
00:42:02.440 --> 00:42:04.440
to what I'm saying tonight.

612
00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:09.320
She lived in this world as a glitch. She believed she was a glitch.

613
00:42:09.880 --> 00:42:14.280
She lived as a glitch. She talked, like, thought down about herself.

614
00:42:14.280 --> 00:42:18.280
Other people in the movie talked down to her because she was a glitch.

615
00:42:18.280 --> 00:42:20.280
People were calling her all different kinds of things,

616
00:42:20.280 --> 00:42:22.280
but y'all, she was never a glitch.

617
00:42:22.280 --> 00:42:28.280
So once the piece that she lost, that was taken from her by the enemy,

618
00:42:28.280 --> 00:42:32.280
once that piece got put back in her, do you know what happened?

619
00:42:32.280 --> 00:42:36.280
She turned back into who she always was.

620
00:42:36.280 --> 00:42:38.280
And then here's the kicker.

621
00:42:38.280 --> 00:42:44.280
The other people remembered who she was, too.

622
00:42:46.280 --> 00:42:48.280
So I just want you to be thinking about that.

623
00:42:48.280 --> 00:42:52.280
Who were you originally created to be

624
00:42:54.280 --> 00:42:58.280
that the enemy entered and he tried to take something out of you,

625
00:42:58.280 --> 00:43:00.280
or he did take something out of you,

626
00:43:00.280 --> 00:43:04.280
and that caused you to live in your life in such a way

627
00:43:04.280 --> 00:43:06.280
that you were kind of glitching.

628
00:43:06.280 --> 00:43:08.280
Like, you know, you're just not your full self.

629
00:43:08.280 --> 00:43:10.280
You got all this stuff going on that's causing you

630
00:43:10.280 --> 00:43:12.280
to be triggered all the time,

631
00:43:12.280 --> 00:43:14.280
to be angry all the time,

632
00:43:14.280 --> 00:43:16.280
to be fearful, whatever it is.

633
00:43:16.280 --> 00:43:20.280
And God is like, I want to put those pieces back in.

634
00:43:20.280 --> 00:43:22.280
I want you to be able to be full throttle,

635
00:43:22.280 --> 00:43:24.280
ahead, fully alive, fully awake,

636
00:43:24.280 --> 00:43:26.280
fully engaged in life,

637
00:43:26.280 --> 00:43:28.280
and able to receive the promises.

638
00:43:28.280 --> 00:43:30.280
So go ahead.

639
00:43:30.280 --> 00:43:32.280
fully awake, fully engaged in life,

640
00:43:32.280 --> 00:43:34.280
and able to receive the promises.

641
00:43:34.280 --> 00:43:36.280
So God wants us to awaken

642
00:43:36.280 --> 00:43:38.280
to our true God-given identity.

643
00:43:38.280 --> 00:43:42.280
He wants us to awaken to restoration.

644
00:43:42.280 --> 00:43:43.280
Okay?

645
00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:45.280
Restoration of all things,

646
00:43:45.280 --> 00:43:47.280
everything that was broken and fallen.

647
00:43:47.280 --> 00:43:49.280
He wants to lift up all those broken and fallen places

648
00:43:49.280 --> 00:43:51.280
and heal them.

649
00:43:51.280 --> 00:43:54.280
And then He wants us to awaken to our big, bold future.

650
00:43:54.280 --> 00:43:56.280
He wants dreams to awaken in us.

651
00:43:56.280 --> 00:43:58.280
As I was saying earlier,

652
00:43:58.280 --> 00:44:00.280
He wants to give us childhood dreams

653
00:44:00.280 --> 00:44:02.280
that would come back to life.

654
00:44:02.280 --> 00:44:04.280
He wants to give us new, fresh dreams.

655
00:44:04.280 --> 00:44:06.280
He wants to give us dreams in the daytime

656
00:44:06.280 --> 00:44:08.280
and the nighttime

657
00:44:08.280 --> 00:44:10.280
that we would start to hear from Him more.

658
00:44:10.280 --> 00:44:12.280
Some of you, I want you to be thinking about.

659
00:44:12.280 --> 00:44:14.280
Now, some of our childhood dreams,

660
00:44:14.280 --> 00:44:16.280
we may not be able to live those out.

661
00:44:16.280 --> 00:44:18.280
So, for example,

662
00:44:18.280 --> 00:44:20.280
I wanted to be a gymnast,

663
00:44:20.280 --> 00:44:22.280
and go and tumble all around.

664
00:44:22.280 --> 00:44:24.280
Y'all, I'm too old for that now.

665
00:44:24.280 --> 00:44:26.280
My body is like, no.

666
00:44:26.280 --> 00:44:28.280
I might be able to do cartwheel still.

667
00:44:28.280 --> 00:44:30.280
But, you know, I'm just trying to,

668
00:44:30.280 --> 00:44:32.280
like, I'm being a little silly right now.

669
00:44:32.280 --> 00:44:34.280
But the reality is that some of us

670
00:44:34.280 --> 00:44:36.280
still want to do some things

671
00:44:36.280 --> 00:44:38.280
that we might not physically be able to do.

672
00:44:38.280 --> 00:44:40.280
But there are a lot of things

673
00:44:40.280 --> 00:44:42.280
that we had dreams about

674
00:44:42.280 --> 00:44:44.280
that we might be able to do some idea of that.

675
00:44:44.280 --> 00:44:46.280
You know, maybe it is like

676
00:44:46.280 --> 00:44:48.280
taking a class and exploring something.

677
00:44:48.280 --> 00:44:50.280
I've been really thinking about

678
00:44:50.280 --> 00:44:52.280
lately a lot.

679
00:44:52.280 --> 00:44:54.280
Getting a camera

680
00:44:54.280 --> 00:44:56.280
and starting to take some photography classes.

681
00:44:56.280 --> 00:44:58.280
I love,

682
00:44:58.280 --> 00:45:00.280
I love taking photos.

683
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.880
I enjoy like even flowers, just trying to get different angles or when we're at places.

684
00:45:04.880 --> 00:45:09.120
And so it's just something I'm kind of praying about nothing pressed on on it right now.

685
00:45:09.120 --> 00:45:12.440
But I just kind of want to share that because I want you to all be thinking about maybe

686
00:45:12.440 --> 00:45:15.040
you love to dance.

687
00:45:15.040 --> 00:45:18.640
And maybe it would be really awesome for you to take some dance classes, y'all don't need

688
00:45:18.640 --> 00:45:23.600
to wait for a spirit mate to do these things, I would encourage you to start doing some

689
00:45:23.600 --> 00:45:29.640
of them now because the more that you live as an individual and awaken to your true identity,

690
00:45:29.640 --> 00:45:32.080
the more you're going to know who you are.

691
00:45:32.080 --> 00:45:38.120
When you meet someone, there's so many people that shut down who they actually are.

692
00:45:38.120 --> 00:45:42.880
To be someone they think the person that they're dating wants them to be no, y'all, that's

693
00:45:42.880 --> 00:45:44.400
not the way to do it.

694
00:45:44.400 --> 00:45:45.920
Yeah, traveling.

695
00:45:45.920 --> 00:45:49.400
If you want to go someplace, you guys, let's do it.

696
00:45:49.400 --> 00:45:55.080
Let's save don't just come up with every excuse why you can't do it.

697
00:45:55.080 --> 00:46:01.160
Anything that we set our minds to do, I truly believe that we can accomplish it.

698
00:46:01.160 --> 00:46:07.040
We can cut back on how many Starbucks we have or whatever, if we need to save money, you

699
00:46:07.040 --> 00:46:08.440
guys, it can happen.

700
00:46:08.440 --> 00:46:09.800
All right.

701
00:46:09.800 --> 00:46:12.440
So start allowing yourself to dream again.

702
00:46:12.440 --> 00:46:18.480
I want to encourage you all and this is going to be a push for some of you, but I'm going

703
00:46:18.480 --> 00:46:22.640
to encourage you and those that want to do it, we'll do it.

704
00:46:22.640 --> 00:46:25.000
Before I even met Brian, y'all are good.

705
00:46:25.000 --> 00:46:26.080
It's going to blow your mind.

706
00:46:26.080 --> 00:46:27.840
I haven't shared this picture in a long time.

707
00:46:27.840 --> 00:46:34.320
So two things came to mind as I went to share something totally different, but I went with

708
00:46:34.320 --> 00:46:40.160
Jackie and a group of people when we were at the Austin retreat years ago, back in 2021,

709
00:46:40.160 --> 00:46:43.040
we went to a bridal store and tried on wedding dresses.

710
00:46:43.040 --> 00:46:47.300
Now I have been married before and so I actually went through a lot of like, oh, like seeing

711
00:46:47.300 --> 00:46:51.280
myself in a white dress again, I kind of had a breakdown in the dressing room and all kinds

712
00:46:51.280 --> 00:46:52.280
of things.

713
00:46:52.920 --> 00:46:57.840
So I had to say, um, I came out, I had tried on two dresses in front of everybody else

714
00:46:57.840 --> 00:47:01.360
and y'all, I left that day and I, I bought a dress.

715
00:47:01.360 --> 00:47:05.560
I felt like God told me to buy it out of faith, believing that I was going to meet my spear

716
00:47:05.560 --> 00:47:06.560
mate.

717
00:47:06.560 --> 00:47:07.560
Y'all, I wasn't even dating anyone.

718
00:47:07.560 --> 00:47:11.120
Thank God was telling me, buy this dress.

719
00:47:11.120 --> 00:47:14.480
Well, lo and behold, I bought the dress, got it home.

720
00:47:14.480 --> 00:47:15.480
It's beautiful.

721
00:47:15.480 --> 00:47:21.000
It is a beautiful dress, but every time I looked back at the photos, I really wanted

722
00:47:21.000 --> 00:47:26.600
the white dress, but I didn't buy the white dress because I didn't think I was worthy

723
00:47:26.600 --> 00:47:28.360
to wear a white dress again.

724
00:47:28.360 --> 00:47:32.160
Isn't it funny how the enemy tries to sneak in?

725
00:47:32.160 --> 00:47:38.680
So before I got married, I went dress shopping again and I bought me a white dress and I

726
00:47:38.680 --> 00:47:41.480
wore that thing proudly and I love it.

727
00:47:41.480 --> 00:47:48.040
And I'm saying all that to say this, I, before I even went dress shopping, before any of

728
00:47:48.040 --> 00:47:54.120
that happened, I started dreaming again and I created a photo album on my phone and I,

729
00:47:54.120 --> 00:47:58.920
I looked at wedding venues, I looked at wedding dresses, I looked at stuff that I would want

730
00:47:58.920 --> 00:48:03.080
at my wedding and I just saved pictures of things that I was like, man, I would really

731
00:48:03.080 --> 00:48:04.080
love this, man.

732
00:48:04.080 --> 00:48:05.680
I think this is beautiful.

733
00:48:05.680 --> 00:48:09.760
And I just made a little like, kind of like dream album.

734
00:48:09.760 --> 00:48:11.840
And sometimes that was hard to do.

735
00:48:11.840 --> 00:48:17.600
It was, but you know, what's really interesting is my wedding dress that I chose actually

736
00:48:17.600 --> 00:48:22.760
looks like several of the dresses that I had saved in that album.

737
00:48:22.760 --> 00:48:26.120
I had a lot of pictures of getting married in a garden.

738
00:48:26.120 --> 00:48:27.800
That's something I've always wanted to do.

739
00:48:27.800 --> 00:48:31.600
Even in my first wedding, I really wanted to get married in a garden and that wasn't

740
00:48:31.600 --> 00:48:34.120
something that my ex wanted to do.

741
00:48:34.120 --> 00:48:39.360
Well, this time around y'all, we got married in a garden and there were butterflies there.

742
00:48:39.360 --> 00:48:40.360
It was awesome.

743
00:48:40.360 --> 00:48:43.760
It was awesome, awesome day.

744
00:48:43.880 --> 00:48:48.640
So anyways, I'm just trying to stoke your dreaming ability a little bit, kind of stoke

745
00:48:48.640 --> 00:48:50.800
that fire in you a little bit.

746
00:48:50.800 --> 00:48:56.640
And if you're not quite ready to go that far, dreaming of a wedding, maybe it's like getting

747
00:48:56.640 --> 00:49:02.520
yourself a, I am a bride cup and drinking out of it on occasion and really partnering

748
00:49:02.520 --> 00:49:04.660
with I am a bride.

749
00:49:04.660 --> 00:49:09.000
We have to believe we're a bride before we can become a bride, ladies.

750
00:49:09.000 --> 00:49:10.600
I'm not saying date.

751
00:49:10.600 --> 00:49:16.640
I'm saying start allowing God to shift your heart, to believe that he has good things

752
00:49:16.640 --> 00:49:19.040
for you.

753
00:49:19.040 --> 00:49:23.320
And even some of you even thinking about doing that, you're like, you feel the panic already

754
00:49:23.320 --> 00:49:24.360
starting to rise.

755
00:49:24.360 --> 00:49:26.600
Like I can't, I can't.

756
00:49:26.600 --> 00:49:31.840
Maybe, you know, again, even doing that will take you to another step of healing.

757
00:49:31.840 --> 00:49:35.160
Maybe it's getting a bride journal to do your heartwork notes in.

758
00:49:35.160 --> 00:49:36.160
I don't know.

759
00:49:36.160 --> 00:49:40.440
So pray and ask the Lord what it is for you and trust that he's going to awaken things

760
00:49:40.440 --> 00:49:41.880
in you that need awakened.

761
00:49:41.880 --> 00:49:43.120
All right.

762
00:49:43.120 --> 00:49:46.760
So here's the breakout question for tonight.

763
00:49:46.760 --> 00:49:51.280
In what ways does the enemy challenge the real you?

764
00:49:51.280 --> 00:49:53.420
Does he often use comparison?

765
00:49:53.420 --> 00:49:58.600
So try to get you to compare yourself to everybody else, competition, competing against other

766
00:49:58.600 --> 00:49:59.120
women.

767
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.800
or imitation, or it can be all of them. So in what ways does the enemy challenge the real you?

768
00:50:06.800 --> 00:50:13.360
Does he tend to use comparison, competition, or imitation? And then how do those show up in your

769
00:50:13.360 --> 00:50:19.440
life? So if comparison is one of the things the enemy uses a lot, how does comparison show up in

770
00:50:19.440 --> 00:50:25.360
your life today? Does everyone understand the question? All right, cool. Let me get these

771
00:50:25.360 --> 00:50:29.840
breakout rooms ready. We'll probably do a shorter session tonight because we're already at 8 50,

772
00:50:29.840 --> 00:50:33.120
but I really felt like it was important to talk to you guys about those dreaming

773
00:50:33.120 --> 00:50:38.800
things a little bit. So I did take, oh, I did take a little more time with that. Give me a second.

774
00:50:42.320 --> 00:50:43.280
Okay, perfect.

775
00:50:43.280 --> 00:50:55.520
All right, we're going to do six minutes, so that should give everybody, if you have three people,

776
00:50:55.520 --> 00:51:01.280
about two minutes. So short, brief, and powerful tonight, ladies, okay? And so go ahead and click

777
00:51:01.280 --> 00:51:06.160
to join those rooms. I'm going to be praying for you all. Go ahead and click and join those as

778
00:51:06.160 --> 00:51:15.200
quick as you can. All right, I'll start praying here in just a moment. As soon as I kind of get

779
00:51:15.200 --> 00:51:28.800
everybody situated, make sure we have at least two ladies in every room. Okay, almost there, ladies.

780
00:51:29.760 --> 00:51:42.800
Oh, Anna. Okay, Father, thank you so much. Rosanne, are you stuck? Can you, are you not able to get in?

781
00:51:42.800 --> 00:51:48.480
Are you just going to hang here tonight? It's okay, so just want to make sure you're good to go.

782
00:51:49.440 --> 00:51:51.760
Oh, you hit leave a room. Okay, let me just move you around.

783
00:51:52.720 --> 00:51:56.880
Okay, there you go. Megan, hi. Do you want to join a breakout room right now,

784
00:51:56.880 --> 00:52:02.720
or do you want to stay here? I do. I think my headphones kept kicking me out by accident.

785
00:52:02.720 --> 00:52:08.720
That's totally fine. Let me put you in. There's another one for you. Thank you. You're welcome.

786
00:52:09.600 --> 00:52:13.360
Father, thank you so much for everything you're doing tonight already. God, we thank you for

787
00:52:13.360 --> 00:52:17.920
revealings, for healing that are happening. God, I ask you to help us all tonight.

788
00:52:17.920 --> 00:52:22.240
Thank you for revealings, for healing that are happening. God, I ask you to help the ladies

789
00:52:22.240 --> 00:52:29.200
shift more and more and more tonight and in the days to come. We thank you, God, for transforming

790
00:52:29.200 --> 00:52:33.440
us by the renewing of our minds that all old things have passed away and behold, everything

791
00:52:33.440 --> 00:52:40.480
is becoming new. Yes, Lord, grace upon grace upon grace. Lord, we ask for fresh grace to just

792
00:52:43.440 --> 00:52:47.440
to sweep over the room. I kind of felt the Lord just kind of lovingly kind of sweep over,

793
00:52:47.520 --> 00:52:51.360
so I just wanted to kind of lean into that for a moment. So, Lord, we just thank you right now

794
00:52:51.360 --> 00:52:58.320
for your fresh grace. Lord, I thank you that you would just come and wash over these ladies.

795
00:53:00.960 --> 00:53:06.000
We thank you for cleansing. We thank you for renewal. We thank you for restoration.

796
00:53:07.760 --> 00:53:12.480
God, we thank you that you are removing every fear of the enemy,

797
00:53:13.440 --> 00:53:16.480
that you're quieting those fears with your love right now.

798
00:53:17.520 --> 00:53:20.960
God, we thank you for awakening dreams in every one of these ladies,

799
00:53:22.160 --> 00:53:26.720
that you would help them to see themselves the way that you see them. God, that you would give

800
00:53:26.720 --> 00:53:32.320
them fresh eyes to see, fresh ears to hear what your spirit is saying. God, we thank you that we

801
00:53:32.320 --> 00:53:38.800
can partner with you in this amazing journey. God, that we can believe for better than we've

802
00:53:38.800 --> 00:53:44.400
ever experienced before. Yes, Lord, that our latter lives can be greater than their former

803
00:53:44.400 --> 00:53:48.480
lives. I remember praying that, ladies. I keep having this little itch tonight, ladies. Sorry.

804
00:53:49.120 --> 00:53:54.880
But I remember praying that over myself over and over and over over the years, and it really has

805
00:53:54.880 --> 00:53:59.360
paid off. And so I want to encourage you to pray that scripture. You can look it up. I can't

806
00:53:59.360 --> 00:54:03.440
remember where it's at right now in the Bible, but where our latter years are going to be greater

807
00:54:03.440 --> 00:54:08.560
than our former years and that we would partner with that. And we just thank you, God, that you're

808
00:54:08.560 --> 00:54:15.680
always working, that you're renewing, and you're helping us to be reconciled to yourself. We thank

809
00:54:15.680 --> 00:54:21.200
you that you would help us, Lord. Even in Psalm 147, verses 3 and 4 in the Passion Translation,

810
00:54:21.200 --> 00:54:27.600
it says this, he heals the wounds of every shattered heart. He sets his stars in place,

811
00:54:27.600 --> 00:54:34.000
calling them all by their names. Lord, I thank you that even in the scripture, it's just a reminder

812
00:54:34.000 --> 00:54:41.120
of how intentional you are, that every star is named. You see every hair on our head.

813
00:54:42.400 --> 00:54:49.120
God, I thank you that we are the apple of your eye. That means, God, that we are close enough

814
00:54:49.120 --> 00:54:54.960
to you. That's the desire that we can see ourselves in your pupil, in the center of your

815
00:54:54.960 --> 00:54:59.920
eyes. So Lord, I thank you that you would help us to not be afraid to come close to you.

816
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:08.240
God, that we would allow you to, yes, Lord, to unlock that part of our heart, Lord, that

817
00:55:08.240 --> 00:55:11.960
we keep hidden and away from other people.

818
00:55:11.960 --> 00:55:18.920
We thank you, God, for, I just heard the Lord saying not exposing us.

819
00:55:18.920 --> 00:55:23.540
Some people will use, you know, that verbiage, and I'm not saying it's always wrong.

820
00:55:23.540 --> 00:55:29.760
He exposes the plans of the enemy, but I believe that he reveals things to us.

821
00:55:29.760 --> 00:55:35.360
A lot of people think of exposing as very like, you know, when somebody exposes us and

822
00:55:35.360 --> 00:55:40.240
it feels vulnerable and scary, and so that's why I tend to not love to use that word when

823
00:55:40.240 --> 00:55:47.040
it comes to the Lord because I, from my experience, he has never exposed me.

824
00:55:47.040 --> 00:55:48.640
He's lovingly pursued me.

825
00:55:48.640 --> 00:55:49.760
He's covered me.

826
00:55:49.760 --> 00:55:50.880
He's protected me.

827
00:55:50.880 --> 00:55:58.280
He's guided me as a friend, as a father, and so from my experience, he has revealed areas

828
00:55:58.280 --> 00:55:59.280
for healing.

829
00:55:59.280 --> 00:56:04.240
He's brought conviction that leads me to correction and healthier places.

830
00:56:04.240 --> 00:56:08.480
He's taught me how to set boundaries, and so, ladies, I'm just speaking this truth because

831
00:56:08.480 --> 00:56:14.520
so many of us think God's going to expose us, and we feel fear of that in this world

832
00:56:14.520 --> 00:56:20.480
today, and so I just want to encourage you to resist those lies, to turn away from those

833
00:56:20.480 --> 00:56:25.640
things and to turn towards the truth of who God has called you to be and all that he's

834
00:56:25.640 --> 00:56:30.960
called you to receive, and part of that is his protection and his covering as well.

835
00:56:30.960 --> 00:56:37.680
Isaiah 53, verses 4 through 6, in the NLT version says this,

836
00:56:37.680 --> 00:56:42.040
Yet it was our weaknesses he carried, it was our sorrows that weighed him down, and we

837
00:56:42.040 --> 00:56:48.640
thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins, but he

838
00:56:48.640 --> 00:56:54.760
was pierced, pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins, he was beaten so that we could

839
00:56:54.760 --> 00:56:57.000
be whole.

840
00:56:57.000 --> 00:56:59.760
He was whipped so that we could be healed.

841
00:56:59.760 --> 00:57:04.320
Father, I thank you tonight that you would help us to receive that truth, that Jesus

842
00:57:04.320 --> 00:57:09.080
came to receive the punishment upon himself so that we would not have to.

843
00:57:09.080 --> 00:57:12.560
Jesus, thank you for taking all the punishment upon yourself.

844
00:57:12.560 --> 00:57:17.160
Thank you for making a way for us to be healed, to be made whole, completely whole, lacking

845
00:57:17.160 --> 00:57:18.520
no good thing.

846
00:57:18.520 --> 00:57:23.040
I thank you that you made a way for us to be one with you as you are one with the Father,

847
00:57:23.040 --> 00:57:26.880
to experience the power and the presence of the Holy Spirit.

848
00:57:26.880 --> 00:57:30.680
We thank you that the same power that rose the Spirit, or excuse me, rose Jesus Christ

849
00:57:30.680 --> 00:57:35.400
from the dead is living in us, it's operating through us, and it's working in our love story

850
00:57:35.400 --> 00:57:36.400
right now.

851
00:57:36.400 --> 00:57:41.560
God, I thank you that you're healing the foundations of our lives and our hearts and our minds,

852
00:57:41.560 --> 00:57:46.380
and you're leading us into those wide open spaces that we read about in Scripture more

853
00:57:46.380 --> 00:57:47.640
each day.

854
00:57:47.640 --> 00:57:48.720
In Jesus' name.

855
00:57:48.720 --> 00:57:49.720
Welcome back, ladies.

856
00:57:49.800 --> 00:57:51.840
That was a quick one tonight.

857
00:57:51.840 --> 00:57:53.480
So glad you guys were in the room.

858
00:57:53.480 --> 00:57:57.880
So many of you are staying and going into the breakout rooms, which I'm so excited about,

859
00:57:57.880 --> 00:57:59.840
and I hope it's been a blessing to you.

860
00:57:59.840 --> 00:58:02.720
Sorry, I gotta just check and find out who...

861
00:58:02.720 --> 00:58:04.760
I gotta mute somebody real quick.

862
00:58:04.760 --> 00:58:06.480
All right.

863
00:58:06.480 --> 00:58:12.280
Okay, really quickly, your activation for this week is silhouette.

864
00:58:12.280 --> 00:58:14.000
For some of you, you've already done a silhouette.

865
00:58:14.000 --> 00:58:17.920
You don't have to do it again if that's the case, but if you have not done this activation

866
00:58:17.920 --> 00:58:21.760
yet, I highly, highly recommend this, okay?

867
00:58:21.760 --> 00:58:27.200
Disclaimer, everybody listening, you do not have to be an artist, okay?

868
00:58:27.200 --> 00:58:28.200
Can you say that out loud?

869
00:58:28.200 --> 00:58:29.200
You don't have to unmute.

870
00:58:29.200 --> 00:58:30.480
Just say it out loud with me.

871
00:58:30.480 --> 00:58:32.480
I don't have to be an artist, okay?

872
00:58:32.480 --> 00:58:37.600
All right, I'm gonna show you what I'm talking about now, but I wanted you all to partner

873
00:58:37.600 --> 00:58:41.440
with that first, because some of these are gonna be...

874
00:58:41.440 --> 00:58:45.100
Like some of the ladies have been very artistic, and that's okay too.

875
00:58:45.100 --> 00:58:48.220
So if you are an artist, more power to you.

876
00:58:48.220 --> 00:58:53.700
I'm probably an in-between, and so I'm kind of with the stick figures sometimes, but I'm

877
00:58:53.700 --> 00:58:55.940
gonna show some of these different things to you.

878
00:58:55.940 --> 00:58:56.940
This is...

879
00:58:56.940 --> 00:58:59.580
And I'm gonna explain to you the process, but I just wanna show you the pictures first.

880
00:58:59.580 --> 00:59:02.700
Again, these are just to plant seeds.

881
00:59:02.700 --> 00:59:05.020
Yours do not have to look like these.

882
00:59:05.020 --> 00:59:10.820
This is about you praying and putting something on paper that is you, it is what you experience

883
00:59:10.820 --> 00:59:11.820
with the Lord.

884
00:59:11.820 --> 00:59:17.660
This first one though, I love to show this because this young lady did not like to see

885
00:59:17.660 --> 00:59:21.160
pictures of herself, ever.

886
00:59:21.160 --> 00:59:25.940
One of the first times she ever came on video was in our group, and it was pretty awesome

887
00:59:25.940 --> 00:59:27.320
to see her transformation.

888
00:59:27.320 --> 00:59:31.580
By the time she left heart work on a regular basis, she was sharing pictures of things

889
00:59:31.580 --> 00:59:35.580
God was doing in her life, and then as you can see, she shared this silhouette.

890
00:59:35.580 --> 00:59:40.620
She put flowers over her eyes as a symbol of God enabling her to flourish in the way

891
00:59:40.620 --> 00:59:45.420
that she saw herself, and then you see a lot of the words, and I'll explain these here

892
00:59:45.420 --> 00:59:46.920
in a minute as well.

893
00:59:46.920 --> 00:59:48.300
Here's another one.

894
00:59:48.300 --> 00:59:49.300
I love this.

895
00:59:49.300 --> 00:59:50.920
I love that it shows her ethnicity.

896
00:59:50.920 --> 00:59:55.380
I love that it shows the flourishing and the growth out of her mind.

897
00:59:55.380 --> 00:59:57.960
As you see on there, it says, who am I?

898
00:59:57.960 --> 00:59:59.400
Who does God say I am?

899
00:59:59.400 --> 01:00:00.020
Again, I'm gonna...

900
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.880
explain this more to you, but she has words of truth written all over her as well.

901
01:00:05.100 --> 01:00:07.500
Here's another one as a reminder.

902
01:00:07.500 --> 01:00:12.340
She reminded herself that she is a princess and that she is her husband's crown.

903
01:00:12.600 --> 01:00:16.920
The Bible says that, you know, when a man finds a wife, he has found a good thing.

904
01:00:17.260 --> 01:00:21.020
And a good thing is that princess, that crown, if you will.

905
01:00:21.020 --> 01:00:23.360
There's another scripture that kind of talks about the crown.

906
01:00:23.780 --> 01:00:28.160
Um, but she, I love that she put the red lips and again, this is where

907
01:00:28.160 --> 01:00:29.740
people's personality comes out.

908
01:00:29.740 --> 01:00:31.060
It's so fun to see these.

909
01:00:31.440 --> 01:00:35.980
Um, but again, she's a queen, she's a king or excuse me, a queen.

910
01:00:35.980 --> 01:00:39.540
And the reminder that I love to tell people is we can't be a queen

911
01:00:39.540 --> 01:00:41.100
until we learn how to be a princess.

912
01:00:41.100 --> 01:00:43.660
So let's learn how to be princesses this week.

913
01:00:44.000 --> 01:00:44.380
All right.

914
01:00:44.380 --> 01:00:48.500
The real me, this one, you can kind of see the silhouette is in the back.

915
01:00:48.780 --> 01:00:52.220
And then she wrote, uh, the words that God was saying to her on here.

916
01:00:52.380 --> 01:00:53.340
Here's another one.

917
01:00:53.540 --> 01:00:55.540
Again, these are all amazing.

918
01:00:55.540 --> 01:00:57.980
You all, this is what she felt led to draw.

919
01:00:58.100 --> 01:01:01.180
And then as you can see, some of her words are in different colors.

920
01:01:01.360 --> 01:01:03.380
Some of them are highlighted with yellow.

921
01:01:03.420 --> 01:01:05.900
Those all meant different things to her.

922
01:01:06.420 --> 01:01:10.300
This is again, following the Holy spirit with you and what he's saying to you.

923
01:01:10.300 --> 01:01:14.280
This one, as you can see, she must have freckles cause she's got freckles

924
01:01:14.280 --> 01:01:15.740
on her face and all the things.

925
01:01:16.040 --> 01:01:16.660
Love it.

926
01:01:16.660 --> 01:01:17.580
So awesome.

927
01:01:17.580 --> 01:01:21.900
Faith filled at the bottom rooted in that is kind of what this displays here.

928
01:01:22.380 --> 01:01:24.900
Um, here's another one with some, the crown.

929
01:01:25.580 --> 01:01:27.580
She wrote really big in their daughter of the king.

930
01:01:27.780 --> 01:01:30.660
And as you can see, some are written in different colors, some are pen.

931
01:01:30.660 --> 01:01:31.780
So they're a little lighter.

932
01:01:31.780 --> 01:01:33.020
Some are more bold.

933
01:01:33.460 --> 01:01:36.860
Um, and right over her eyes, it says imaginative.

934
01:01:37.220 --> 01:01:38.260
And I just love that.

935
01:01:38.300 --> 01:01:38.780
I love that.

936
01:01:38.780 --> 01:01:40.380
She's kind of partnering with that.

937
01:01:40.380 --> 01:01:43.340
God's going to enable her to imagine, to dream again.

938
01:01:43.780 --> 01:01:44.780
Really, really awesome.

939
01:01:44.820 --> 01:01:46.300
Here's another one.

940
01:01:46.660 --> 01:01:50.140
Um, this one was by Nadine Benjamin.

941
01:01:50.140 --> 01:01:54.540
If any of y'all know her, um, she's actually an artist and she just

942
01:01:54.540 --> 01:01:56.060
went with what God was showing her.

943
01:01:56.540 --> 01:02:00.700
This also shows a lot of her ethnicity, as well as some amazing words that

944
01:02:00.700 --> 01:02:02.500
God was speaking to her in the crown.

945
01:02:04.060 --> 01:02:05.780
And then here's another one as well.

946
01:02:05.820 --> 01:02:08.420
She drew a picture and then she kind of made the words in the

947
01:02:08.420 --> 01:02:10.340
background more than all over her.

948
01:02:10.580 --> 01:02:12.180
And again, that's what she felt led to do.

949
01:02:12.180 --> 01:02:14.260
And this is something that she hung up in her house.

950
01:02:14.540 --> 01:02:17.780
Highly recommend y'all hanging these up after you do them.

951
01:02:17.820 --> 01:02:22.940
No matter, you know, even some of you, I know even looking at this as an

952
01:02:22.940 --> 01:02:26.300
activation, you're just like, Oh my gosh, I cannot do that.

953
01:02:26.620 --> 01:02:27.860
Please don't partner with that.

954
01:02:28.180 --> 01:02:28.780
Okay.

955
01:02:30.260 --> 01:02:34.180
If you need to print out a picture of yourself and put that on there and

956
01:02:34.180 --> 01:02:37.420
write the words over it, that is totally fine.

957
01:02:37.460 --> 01:02:40.620
The point is this, here's the steps you're going to do.

958
01:02:41.180 --> 01:02:44.300
You're going to pray and you're going to ask the Lord to show you.

959
01:02:44.700 --> 01:02:45.700
Who am I?

960
01:02:46.740 --> 01:02:50.100
And you're going to write down on a piece of paper first, before you draw the

961
01:02:50.100 --> 01:02:53.980
silhouette on a piece of paper, you're going to write down what you hear God

962
01:02:53.980 --> 01:02:57.300
say about you, who are you now?

963
01:02:57.300 --> 01:02:58.380
Here's the key.

964
01:02:59.260 --> 01:03:03.420
If you hear anything negative, it goes on a separate piece of paper.

965
01:03:04.540 --> 01:03:06.900
I don't know if you guys know this or not, but God doesn't

966
01:03:06.900 --> 01:03:08.500
say negative things about you.

967
01:03:10.060 --> 01:03:14.340
So if you hear something negative that is from the enemy, it goes

968
01:03:14.340 --> 01:03:16.220
on a separate piece of paper.

969
01:03:17.060 --> 01:03:19.780
You cross it out because it is not true.

970
01:03:20.500 --> 01:03:23.580
And then you ask the Lord to tell you what the truth is.

971
01:03:24.220 --> 01:03:26.140
And for some of you, you might not know right away.

972
01:03:26.140 --> 01:03:28.580
You might have to, you might hear something else, negative,

973
01:03:29.020 --> 01:03:31.220
write it down, cross it out.

974
01:03:31.660 --> 01:03:35.580
The reason I'm having you even write the negative things down is because you, this

975
01:03:35.580 --> 01:03:40.580
is this process of the silhouette is going to help you recognize how many negative

976
01:03:40.580 --> 01:03:42.220
things you hear about yourself.

977
01:03:43.180 --> 01:03:45.620
But you're going to also learn how to come out of agreement with them.

978
01:03:45.620 --> 01:03:51.380
When you cross them out and ask God for the truth to replace the lie, when he

979
01:03:51.380 --> 01:03:55.980
gives you the truth, then you write the truth on the other paper, some of you

980
01:03:55.980 --> 01:03:57.380
are going to hear a lot of good stuff.

981
01:03:57.380 --> 01:04:00.580
And that's really awesome too, but write those things down.

982
01:04:00.940 --> 01:04:04.860
I would encourage you to pray for maybe a scripture or two that goes with your

983
01:04:04.860 --> 01:04:10.180
silhouette, something that really speaks to you, but really take time with those

984
01:04:10.180 --> 01:04:13.260
negative ones as well and process that stuff out of your spirit.

985
01:04:13.260 --> 01:04:18.060
It's going to help you hear what God has to say about you more and more and more.

986
01:04:18.260 --> 01:04:21.540
Now I'm going to put all of this, these instructions up in the group.

987
01:04:21.540 --> 01:04:22.820
So you guys will be able to read them.

988
01:04:22.860 --> 01:04:25.300
It'll be even more clear step-by-step.

989
01:04:25.700 --> 01:04:28.740
Um, but if you have any questions, just ask us, okay.

990
01:04:29.020 --> 01:04:33.180
Ask us in the activation post and we'll respond, or you can create a post in and

991
01:04:33.220 --> 01:04:35.340
of itself and ask us that way.

992
01:04:35.340 --> 01:04:36.500
We're here to help you.

993
01:04:36.820 --> 01:04:39.380
The goal is to do something.

994
01:04:40.060 --> 01:04:44.140
I've had people, and again, this is where you pray and ask God what you should do.

995
01:04:44.380 --> 01:04:49.060
I've had people pray that are, excuse me, draw themselves as like a ballerina image.

996
01:04:49.900 --> 01:04:53.220
You know, it's just, it's what, what is God saying to you?

997
01:04:53.220 --> 01:04:55.220
And what does he want you to get on the paper?

998
01:04:55.220 --> 01:04:57.180
Because there's meaning for you.

999
01:04:58.180 --> 01:04:59.660
Okay, cool.

1000
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.000
And then when you do them, post them in the group.

1001
01:05:03.000 --> 01:05:06.000
Post them in the group so we can see them, so we can cheer you on.

1002
01:05:06.000 --> 01:05:11.000
You know, a lot of times I try, my team and I, we try to pray into those.

1003
01:05:11.000 --> 01:05:14.000
Sometimes we hear things, you know, from God for you guys.

1004
01:05:14.000 --> 01:05:17.000
Sometimes it's just maybe we're not hearing anything in that moment,

1005
01:05:17.000 --> 01:05:20.000
but that doesn't mean that we won't at some point in the future.

1006
01:05:20.000 --> 01:05:23.000
But sometimes we will speak into people.

1007
01:05:23.000 --> 01:05:27.000
So if you see that and we don't do that in yours, don't take offense to that, okay?

1008
01:05:27.000 --> 01:05:31.000
Because just like everybody else, it's not like a spigot all the time.

1009
01:05:31.000 --> 01:05:34.000
You know, I feel like I hear the Lord pretty clearly,

1010
01:05:34.000 --> 01:05:37.000
but there are days where I'm like, okay, it's dry.

1011
01:05:37.000 --> 01:05:41.000
I got nothing as far as for other people in certain seasons and stuff.

1012
01:05:41.000 --> 01:05:44.000
So it just depends on what is going on in the spirit realm.

1013
01:05:44.000 --> 01:05:48.000
Sometimes that does happen, so don't take that stuff personally, okay?

1014
01:05:48.000 --> 01:05:52.000
All right, so who is willing to share with the whole group what you shared in the breakout room?

1015
01:05:52.000 --> 01:05:55.000
Who's going to go first tonight?

1016
01:05:55.000 --> 01:05:59.000
Takers? Takers?

1017
01:05:59.000 --> 01:06:05.000
I was sharing about what you were bringing up about comparison.

1018
01:06:05.000 --> 01:06:12.000
So I was sharing with the ladies how I've been guilty of doing that because being 40,

1019
01:06:12.000 --> 01:06:14.000
been engaged before but never married,

1020
01:06:14.000 --> 01:06:19.000
and then seeing these young women that I've held as babies,

1021
01:06:19.000 --> 01:06:21.000
they're married with kids that, like, stings.

1022
01:06:21.000 --> 01:06:23.000
I'm like, wait a minute.

1023
01:06:23.000 --> 01:06:26.000
I told you when you were a baby, and you're like, wait a minute.

1024
01:06:26.000 --> 01:06:30.000
So I definitely could relate to the comparison.

1025
01:06:30.000 --> 01:06:36.000
And then also trying to uplift myself by doing gratitude,

1026
01:06:36.000 --> 01:06:40.000
trying to be thankful for things that I can do while still being single.

1027
01:06:40.000 --> 01:06:43.000
So sometimes I feel like, okay, I'm running out of things to do.

1028
01:06:43.000 --> 01:06:47.000
Like, the only thing I haven't done yet is, like, jump out of a plane with a parachute.

1029
01:06:47.000 --> 01:06:50.000
So it's like, at this age, you've done everything you wanted to do.

1030
01:06:50.000 --> 01:06:55.000
But, yeah, I was talking about how I can definitely relate to that.

1031
01:06:55.000 --> 01:06:56.000
That's so good, Shekinah.

1032
01:06:56.000 --> 01:06:58.000
So if you don't mind if I ask,

1033
01:06:58.000 --> 01:07:05.000
when you see those people living in the dreams that you've been believing for but don't have them yet,

1034
01:07:05.000 --> 01:07:10.000
ladies, I want you to get really comfortable with the word yet, okay?

1035
01:07:10.000 --> 01:07:12.000
Because it's just yet.

1036
01:07:12.000 --> 01:07:16.000
One day I didn't know Brian, and the next day I did, okay?

1037
01:07:16.000 --> 01:07:18.000
So here's my question, Shekinah.

1038
01:07:18.000 --> 01:07:27.000
What lies do you hear that lead you to kind of start to fall into that comparison trap?

1039
01:07:27.000 --> 01:07:28.000
Let's see.

1040
01:07:28.000 --> 01:07:34.000
One lie here is, like, maybe I spent too much time at my home church.

1041
01:07:34.000 --> 01:07:36.000
There were no men there.

1042
01:07:36.000 --> 01:07:42.000
Maybe I didn't invest in my love life more than I – as much as I should.

1043
01:07:42.000 --> 01:07:44.000
Yeah, I did the online dating here and there.

1044
01:07:44.000 --> 01:07:46.000
Yeah, I did the speed dating here and there.

1045
01:07:46.000 --> 01:07:55.000
I was like, well, maybe I didn't really put much effort into making sure I was in the right circles to meet someone.

1046
01:07:55.000 --> 01:07:57.000
Okay, these are really good.

1047
01:07:57.000 --> 01:08:03.000
And I asked you to share because there's going to be other women in here that are going to relate to the things that you're saying.

1048
01:08:03.000 --> 01:08:08.000
Remember, ladies, we want to look at, okay, she said two lies very specifically that she was hearing,

1049
01:08:08.000 --> 01:08:11.000
and there might have been more, but these are the two that stood out to me.

1050
01:08:11.000 --> 01:08:15.000
I spent too much time at my home church, and there weren't enough men there,

1051
01:08:15.000 --> 01:08:20.000
and I didn't invest enough into dating, okay?

1052
01:08:20.000 --> 01:08:27.000
So do we believe that God can redeem the time?

1053
01:08:27.000 --> 01:08:36.000
I know it's easy for us to say in the moment, but when it comes down to it, a lot of times we fear that, you know, we took too much time.

1054
01:08:36.000 --> 01:08:38.000
I dated the girl's dad for six years.

1055
01:08:38.000 --> 01:08:45.000
You guys, I was probably ripe and able to get pregnant at that time.

1056
01:08:45.000 --> 01:08:46.000
It's a struggle.

1057
01:08:46.000 --> 01:08:53.000
It is hard sometimes, but we can partner with the truth that God can redeem our timeline.

1058
01:08:53.000 --> 01:09:01.000
God can come in and create something beautiful out of hard things, but we have to be able to receive it.

1059
01:09:01.000 --> 01:09:04.000
So looking at the lies, where did they first take root?

1060
01:09:04.000 --> 01:09:06.000
So when's the first time?

1061
01:09:06.000 --> 01:09:10.000
I would say this to Shekinah or anyone else in this situation.

1062
01:09:10.000 --> 01:09:14.000
When is the first time you believe that you just spent too much time?

1063
01:09:14.000 --> 01:09:25.000
And so, hey, like it's, you know, because really at the end of the lie, we tend to believe it's too late for me.

1064
01:09:25.000 --> 01:09:28.000
It's too late for me.

1065
01:09:28.000 --> 01:09:29.000
Well, I want to tell you this.

1066
01:09:29.000 --> 01:09:33.000
We have women getting married in their 80s, y'all.

1067
01:09:33.000 --> 01:09:34.000
No joke.

1068
01:09:34.000 --> 01:09:35.000
Okay.

1069
01:09:35.000 --> 01:09:38.000
We have women getting men and women getting married in their 80s.

1070
01:09:38.000 --> 01:09:39.000
It's real.

1071
01:09:39.000 --> 01:09:43.000
You can still find God's happiness and love for you.

1072
01:09:43.000 --> 01:09:46.000
It's not too late for you.

1073
01:09:46.000 --> 01:09:48.000
Okay.

1074
01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:55.000
Your love story might look different than you originally imagined it, but it's going to be good if you trust the Lord in the process.

1075
01:09:55.000 --> 01:09:57.000
And then didn't invest enough time.

1076
01:09:57.000 --> 01:10:00.000
You know, it goes back to what I was saying earlier about, you know.

1077
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.120
The enemy really trying to get us all caught in the trap of regret.

1078
01:10:04.440 --> 01:10:05.840
We can't change the past.

1079
01:10:05.840 --> 01:10:10.960
All we can do is move forward and change the future as far as just following

1080
01:10:10.960 --> 01:10:12.600
the Lord and allowing him to change it.

1081
01:10:12.600 --> 01:10:17.440
But, you know, just taking one step every day towards, in this case, your

1082
01:10:17.440 --> 01:10:22.280
heart healing process so that you can move into the next phase and start to

1083
01:10:22.280 --> 01:10:26.320
learn how to date again and have healthy dating skills that you learn and all of

1084
01:10:26.320 --> 01:10:30.960
the things that we teach you over there to implement, and you're going to have

1085
01:10:30.960 --> 01:10:32.600
continued heart healing over there too.

1086
01:10:32.640 --> 01:10:38.600
I promise you, I promise there's going to be plenty of that and a lot of good

1087
01:10:38.600 --> 01:10:41.760
things ahead to kind of thank you for sharing that with us, definitely keep

1088
01:10:41.760 --> 01:10:47.640
praying into the root of those and asking God to really transform where those

1089
01:10:47.640 --> 01:10:52.200
originally took root so that you can heal and partner with the truth to

1090
01:10:52.200 --> 01:10:53.280
contradict those lies.

1091
01:10:53.280 --> 01:10:53.680
Okay.

1092
01:10:54.000 --> 01:10:54.520
Thank you.

1093
01:10:55.160 --> 01:10:55.960
You're welcome.

1094
01:10:56.320 --> 01:10:57.160
Megan, go ahead.

1095
01:10:57.800 --> 01:11:01.240
Megan Gaston first, and then is it Bondracek?

1096
01:11:01.320 --> 01:11:02.080
Is that how you say?

1097
01:11:02.840 --> 01:11:03.240
Awesome.

1098
01:11:03.240 --> 01:11:03.480
Okay.

1099
01:11:03.480 --> 01:11:06.160
So then Megan G, then Megan V.

1100
01:11:08.400 --> 01:11:14.280
I think for me, the biggest thing was kind of comparison, but also competition.

1101
01:11:14.280 --> 01:11:21.640
But I recently went on a trip to kind of push myself.

1102
01:11:21.760 --> 01:11:25.440
I went to kind of check out this place to see if it was the promised land.

1103
01:11:26.120 --> 01:11:30.000
I challenged myself to go out to eat, do things alone.

1104
01:11:30.000 --> 01:11:34.440
Like I knew nobody, I went on this trip alone and I really felt really

1105
01:11:34.440 --> 01:11:42.240
encouraged, but when I came back, I've had a lot of warfare and a lot of

1106
01:11:42.240 --> 01:11:45.120
intimidation and fear and all that stuff.

1107
01:11:46.320 --> 01:11:52.080
One of the things that I've been comparing is why is it that other people

1108
01:11:52.360 --> 01:11:56.600
don't have the enemy right up in their face, that they can fight him with like

1109
01:11:56.600 --> 01:12:01.920
a bow and arrow and they can be miles away, but I have to face him face to

1110
01:12:01.920 --> 01:12:07.560
face and I'm so exhausted and I just had been so overwhelmed and it was

1111
01:12:07.560 --> 01:12:13.680
very like an anxious week and one of the big things, I know like a lie that

1112
01:12:13.680 --> 01:12:20.080
I was believing was that I almost felt like Jesus in the garden and I wanted

1113
01:12:20.080 --> 01:12:25.600
to be like, God take this cup away from me because I don't want to live this

1114
01:12:25.600 --> 01:12:33.000
life anymore, like this is just, there's no good right now and so I guess like

1115
01:12:33.000 --> 01:12:38.160
just that comparison and I think like just struggle with competition, but

1116
01:12:38.160 --> 01:12:44.120
just like it's been really hard and to be honest, I've been trying to do the

1117
01:12:44.120 --> 01:12:49.040
video that Jackie had in the curriculum about hopelessness and I have, it has

1118
01:12:49.040 --> 01:12:53.400
taken me like, I'm not even finished with it yet, but I've had like six or

1119
01:12:53.400 --> 01:12:59.480
seven attempts to try and get through that video, it's just been a lot of

1120
01:12:59.480 --> 01:13:00.120
warfare.

1121
01:13:00.880 --> 01:13:04.680
Megan, I don't know if I've ever asked you this before or not, but something

1122
01:13:04.680 --> 01:13:09.040
that's coming up, have you, has anyone in your family ever struggled with

1123
01:13:09.040 --> 01:13:09.800
depression?

1124
01:13:09.840 --> 01:13:11.720
Like does that run in your family line?

1125
01:13:12.160 --> 01:13:16.680
A little bit, yeah, on my mom's side, my grandmother gets like seasonal

1126
01:13:16.680 --> 01:13:17.320
depression.

1127
01:13:17.680 --> 01:13:20.440
Yeah, so I think that's part of what's happening here.

1128
01:13:20.440 --> 01:13:24.480
It's not just your battle that you're fighting, you're up against some

1129
01:13:24.480 --> 01:13:28.680
depression that is generational, because literally I don't think in all the

1130
01:13:28.680 --> 01:13:31.800
times I've coached you, I don't think that's come out, but it's coming up in

1131
01:13:31.800 --> 01:13:32.720
my spirit tonight.

1132
01:13:33.080 --> 01:13:33.680
Here's the other thing.

1133
01:13:33.680 --> 01:13:37.520
And I do know that on my dad's side, there's a lot of hopelessness.

1134
01:13:37.520 --> 01:13:39.600
So I know like a lot of it's generational.

1135
01:13:39.600 --> 01:13:45.200
So I've been trying to be that Kingsman redeemer and fight that, but I think

1136
01:13:45.200 --> 01:13:48.560
that's also the struggle is like, I'm the only one that's fighting.

1137
01:13:49.080 --> 01:13:53.800
Well, here's the truth though, is you're actually not the one that has to fight.

1138
01:13:55.880 --> 01:13:58.480
Jesus already fought that battle for you.

1139
01:13:59.840 --> 01:14:01.640
You just have to partner with him now.

1140
01:14:02.880 --> 01:14:06.160
And I think that I know that you're hearing me, but I think that's the switch

1141
01:14:06.160 --> 01:14:09.800
that needs to happen in your spirit, like deep down.

1142
01:14:10.240 --> 01:14:11.200
Yes, we do.

1143
01:14:11.200 --> 01:14:12.240
We need to pray.

1144
01:14:12.240 --> 01:14:15.320
But sometimes, you know, what is the greatest weapon?

1145
01:14:15.320 --> 01:14:16.320
It's praise.

1146
01:14:18.200 --> 01:14:22.160
Literally there have been times I have felt down and literally

1147
01:14:22.160 --> 01:14:23.360
not wanted to worship.

1148
01:14:23.360 --> 01:14:24.720
And y'all I'm a worshiper.

1149
01:14:24.800 --> 01:14:26.160
I love to sing.

1150
01:14:26.200 --> 01:14:27.400
I love to worship.

1151
01:14:28.560 --> 01:14:32.320
And those are the times where you have to sometimes just choose to press

1152
01:14:32.320 --> 01:14:35.160
through and worship anyways.

1153
01:14:35.760 --> 01:14:40.800
Um, that one song, this is how I fight my battles.

1154
01:14:41.200 --> 01:14:44.480
That comes to mind right now as well.

1155
01:14:44.920 --> 01:14:49.040
Um, and again, I'm not trying to minimize it or make it sound super easy.

1156
01:14:49.240 --> 01:14:54.600
You know, these are serious battles that people face, but I think the reality is

1157
01:14:54.600 --> 01:14:59.160
you're believing the lie that you're in this by yourself and you're not.

1158
01:14:59.760 --> 01:14:59.920
And.

1159
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.440
So you have to like, really like, and this isn't like a war, war, war.

1160
01:15:05.440 --> 01:15:06.900
I got to fight, fight, fight, fight, fight.

1161
01:15:06.900 --> 01:15:09.120
This is a, this is not true.

1162
01:15:09.700 --> 01:15:14.220
Was it last week that I talked about Divergent when she was in the water and

1163
01:15:14.220 --> 01:15:18.580
she, I don't know if that was with you guys, there's a movie called Divergent

1164
01:15:18.580 --> 01:15:24.340
and she's in this water tank and it shows the scene where she's just tapping

1165
01:15:24.340 --> 01:15:30.220
the, the plat, the glass and she's like, this isn't real and the glass, like

1166
01:15:30.220 --> 01:15:34.700
she doesn't enough in the glass just shatters and she goes right out.

1167
01:15:34.740 --> 01:15:38.700
And this is something that she should not have been able to get out of kind of thing.

1168
01:15:39.160 --> 01:15:41.060
And that comes to mind as well.

1169
01:15:41.060 --> 01:15:45.140
I think that the enemy wants you to believe the lie that this is something

1170
01:15:45.140 --> 01:15:50.380
you're just trapped in and you're not going to get out and the reality is.

1171
01:15:51.100 --> 01:15:52.700
That's not real.

1172
01:15:53.060 --> 01:15:57.380
Like you got, Jesus already fought the victory, fought the fight, got the

1173
01:15:57.380 --> 01:16:02.700
victory, but it's that we have to learn how to walk that out, but you're not

1174
01:16:02.700 --> 01:16:04.180
having to scrap for this thing.

1175
01:16:04.180 --> 01:16:06.540
You can just kind of rest.

1176
01:16:06.600 --> 01:16:09.120
I'm hearing the Lord say, rest in his peace.

1177
01:16:09.120 --> 01:16:15.820
And I know that doesn't feel probably comfortable to you because you've

1178
01:16:15.820 --> 01:16:19.980
learned through your family line to partner with depression, to partner

1179
01:16:19.980 --> 01:16:24.100
with hopelessness and, you know, a lot of times, whether we realize it, and I

1180
01:16:24.100 --> 01:16:27.940
don't want this to sound like mean towards Megan, I'm saying for everybody

1181
01:16:27.940 --> 01:16:35.060
in general, myself included, it's easier for us to partner with victim and self

1182
01:16:35.060 --> 01:16:39.860
pity it is then to say, you know what?

1183
01:16:39.860 --> 01:16:48.300
No, I know what I feel right now, but my flesh, my feelings don't get to drive

1184
01:16:48.300 --> 01:16:48.700
today.

1185
01:16:49.460 --> 01:16:51.300
They don't get to sit in the driver's seat.

1186
01:16:51.940 --> 01:16:56.780
So I take authority right now in Jesus name over my mind and every thought.

1187
01:16:56.780 --> 01:17:00.860
And I take these thoughts captive right now in Jesus name.

1188
01:17:01.340 --> 01:17:05.580
And I declare that I am a more, I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus,

1189
01:17:05.580 --> 01:17:10.820
that I am an overcomer, that no matter what I feel right now, God is for me.

1190
01:17:11.220 --> 01:17:12.980
So Satan, who can be against me?

1191
01:17:12.980 --> 01:17:14.180
You don't win.

1192
01:17:14.860 --> 01:17:18.940
Like sometimes it's not, it's not paying Satan too much attention, but literally

1193
01:17:18.940 --> 01:17:20.980
we have to talk to our spirits.

1194
01:17:20.980 --> 01:17:22.860
I even said this on the prophetic night last night.

1195
01:17:22.860 --> 01:17:25.220
We have to, why are you don't downcast?

1196
01:17:25.220 --> 01:17:26.940
Oh, my soul hope in the Lord.

1197
01:17:27.420 --> 01:17:29.460
And again, yes, our physical bodies.

1198
01:17:29.460 --> 01:17:30.740
I know that you feel tired.

1199
01:17:30.740 --> 01:17:32.260
I know that you battle fatigue.

1200
01:17:32.580 --> 01:17:35.980
I believe that the more that you heal, the more you're going to get victory over

1201
01:17:35.980 --> 01:17:36.980
those things as well.

1202
01:17:36.980 --> 01:17:38.220
And I can relate to you.

1203
01:17:38.460 --> 01:17:41.140
I fight a lot of physical battles and fatigue.

1204
01:17:41.180 --> 01:17:43.900
A lot of it stems back to things I went through as a kid.

1205
01:17:45.100 --> 01:17:49.460
My body has to learn new things at 47.

1206
01:17:50.180 --> 01:17:57.220
I think the problem is, is that my home environment has gotten even more unsafe.

1207
01:17:57.220 --> 01:17:59.620
That's why I'm in my car right now.

1208
01:18:01.260 --> 01:18:02.420
And so that doesn't help.

1209
01:18:02.940 --> 01:18:03.300
Yeah.

1210
01:18:03.620 --> 01:18:05.540
So you went and looked at this new place.

1211
01:18:05.940 --> 01:18:09.620
I want to not forget one other thing I was going to tell you there, and I don't

1212
01:18:09.620 --> 01:18:13.780
necessarily get this book right now, but I highly recommend it for you after you're

1213
01:18:13.780 --> 01:18:14.620
done with heartwork.

1214
01:18:15.180 --> 01:18:18.580
I got to think of it now.

1215
01:18:19.100 --> 01:18:24.860
It is called The Dream Giver by I think Bruce Wilkinson.

1216
01:18:26.460 --> 01:18:35.420
And there is this part in the book where it talks about border bullies and how when

1217
01:18:35.540 --> 01:18:40.980
the guy in the story is starting to walk towards the dream that God has given him,

1218
01:18:41.420 --> 01:18:45.900
he encounters border bullies, people that are trying to keep him from crossing over,

1219
01:18:45.900 --> 01:18:46.500
if you will.

1220
01:18:47.020 --> 01:18:51.980
And when you were talking about, you went on this trip, you went to this new place,

1221
01:18:51.980 --> 01:18:54.100
which I know is out of your comfort zone.

1222
01:18:54.100 --> 01:18:55.900
You went and ate dinner by yourself.

1223
01:18:55.900 --> 01:18:57.820
You had this really great experience.

1224
01:18:58.260 --> 01:18:59.900
Yeah, this is huge for you.

1225
01:19:00.180 --> 01:19:03.580
And then you came home and you're encountering the border bullies.

1226
01:19:03.820 --> 01:19:04.860
That's what's happening.

1227
01:19:05.220 --> 01:19:06.660
I'm not saying that's easy.

1228
01:19:06.660 --> 01:19:07.460
That's hard.

1229
01:19:07.660 --> 01:19:13.340
What I do want to know is, is this new place somewhere you want to move to?

1230
01:19:13.980 --> 01:19:14.500
Yeah.

1231
01:19:15.380 --> 01:19:20.980
And I really like, because Jackie had, I think, shared on Supernatural Saturday

1232
01:19:20.980 --> 01:19:28.220
about taking, like, we got to take action and actually move forward with it and claim

1233
01:19:28.220 --> 01:19:29.460
it, I guess, or something.

1234
01:19:29.460 --> 01:19:33.060
And so that's what that trip was, was like, is this the promised land?

1235
01:19:33.340 --> 01:19:39.660
I really prayed into numbers about Joshua and Caleb and just felt that confirmation

1236
01:19:39.660 --> 01:19:41.460
was like, yeah, I can do this.

1237
01:19:41.460 --> 01:19:43.380
Like, yeah.

1238
01:19:43.380 --> 01:19:46.420
And so, but the doors have not opened yet.

1239
01:19:46.420 --> 01:19:48.940
And then the border bully.

1240
01:19:49.300 --> 01:19:49.700
Yeah.

1241
01:19:49.700 --> 01:19:53.180
Just know, ladies, too, really important in transition seasons.

1242
01:19:54.180 --> 01:19:56.060
I love that you're praying about the promised land.

1243
01:19:56.060 --> 01:19:57.180
I think that's awesome.

1244
01:19:57.420 --> 01:20:00.060
But I also want you to understand that there might be seasons.

1245
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:10.000
okay? God led me to Indiana and two years later he led us to Florida. If I had

1246
01:20:10.000 --> 01:20:15.120
partnered with This Is The Promised Land regarding Indiana, I think I could have

1247
01:20:15.120 --> 01:20:20.640
gotten stuck in that. Does that make sense? It might be your current

1248
01:20:20.640 --> 01:20:25.280
place that God is leading you, but I want you to continue to leave things open. And

1249
01:20:25.280 --> 01:20:28.240
I'm not saying God will lead you one place and move you again. I don't know.

1250
01:20:28.640 --> 01:20:34.880
But I just think for all of you hearing, it's really important for us to know that God moves.

1251
01:20:37.040 --> 01:20:43.040
He moves in all different kinds of ways, you know, and life happens. And I just want you to

1252
01:20:43.040 --> 01:20:48.480
be open enough to receive the shift if God shifts things. And again, some of you might

1253
01:20:48.480 --> 01:20:53.600
stay where you're at forever. Some of you may move and not move again for a long time,

1254
01:20:53.600 --> 01:20:58.880
but some of you might be more along with my story where God led me somewhere.

1255
01:20:58.880 --> 01:21:02.880
Y'all, I said I was never moving back north again. When I moved out of Ohio, I said,

1256
01:21:02.880 --> 01:21:08.160
I'm never moving north again. I was living in Kentucky and then God brought me Brian and I'm

1257
01:21:08.160 --> 01:21:14.080
like, oh Jesus. And God led me back to Indiana into the colder gloomy weather. And I was like,

1258
01:21:14.080 --> 01:21:19.280
I don't want to be here, but I did it. I did it because God was leading me into that.

1259
01:21:19.920 --> 01:21:25.120
And so I knew that I could sustain, I knew that I was be able to sustain it.

1260
01:21:25.120 --> 01:21:30.000
Right. And then look at where God led us. One of the sunniest places there is.

1261
01:21:31.120 --> 01:21:36.480
We're in Southwest Florida, you all. We're far down. So Megan, I just want to encourage you.

1262
01:21:36.480 --> 01:21:41.520
I know that it's not easy. You're facing a lot of things, you know, you might want to just check

1263
01:21:41.520 --> 01:21:46.400
into, do you have a friend that a different friend that you could just move in with temporarily?

1264
01:21:46.400 --> 01:21:52.800
You know, um, I don't know if you have, um, I can't recall if your relationship is good with

1265
01:21:52.800 --> 01:21:58.000
your parents, but I'm just saying like, you might want to just explore what is like maybe, uh, uh,

1266
01:21:58.800 --> 01:22:04.480
maybe transition reprieve, you know, and we don't typically encourage people to move during heart

1267
01:22:04.480 --> 01:22:08.800
work, but you've kind of been in this a long time, Megan, with these people you live with.

1268
01:22:08.800 --> 01:22:15.440
And it just sounds pretty toxic. And, um, I encourage you to continue to use your voice.

1269
01:22:17.120 --> 01:22:22.000
But also let's pray into maybe figuring out if there's something that

1270
01:22:22.000 --> 01:22:26.160
might be, uh, the, in the meantime, until God leads you into that new place.

1271
01:22:26.880 --> 01:22:32.800
Yeah. My parents are up North, so that would be a big, big move to go up to then go really

1272
01:22:32.800 --> 01:22:39.360
far down again. But yeah, it's also a toxic environment. So yeah.

1273
01:22:40.000 --> 01:22:44.720
All right. Well, just pray into it. Make sure no matter what, make sure you're always just saying,

1274
01:22:44.720 --> 01:22:49.120
Lord, where do you want me to go? Do you want me to stay here and learn how to like,

1275
01:22:49.120 --> 01:22:53.920
keep growing in my voice and stand up for myself and learn how to navigate that? Are you wanting

1276
01:22:53.920 --> 01:22:58.480
me to move somewhere? Is there any open doors you can show me and just keep praying like that.

1277
01:22:58.480 --> 01:23:01.200
And we'll be agreeing with you in prayer about it as well. Okay.

1278
01:23:01.760 --> 01:23:02.640
Thank you so much.

1279
01:23:02.640 --> 01:23:06.800
You're welcome. So glad you shared. Thank you so much, Megan V. Go ahead.

1280
01:23:08.800 --> 01:23:13.840
Thank you, Megan. Thanks for what you shared everybody. Um, Bethany, I just wanted to say,

1281
01:23:13.840 --> 01:23:17.440
I really appreciate you and admire you. I have never even talked to you, but,

1282
01:23:17.440 --> 01:23:24.000
um, just, I just look forward to these calls and it's just been so encouraging. So thank you. Um,

1283
01:23:24.720 --> 01:23:31.120
I think for me, what I shared in my group is the, the comparison competition or imitation

1284
01:23:31.920 --> 01:23:41.360
comparison is probably the, the big one. Um, little bit of my story. I'm the oldest of five.

1285
01:23:41.360 --> 01:23:48.240
I have, I had an amazing family growing up. I do have an amazing family. Um, and all of my

1286
01:23:48.240 --> 01:23:55.520
siblings are married. I have, um, soon to be 15 nieces and nephews under 11. So I feel like I'm

1287
01:23:55.520 --> 01:24:01.920
a spiritual mom. My heart has always been to be a mom, but it's like, I've, you know, I kind of,

1288
01:24:01.920 --> 01:24:06.480
it's like Jackie's talked about like how people like do it all right, you know, or think they're

1289
01:24:06.480 --> 01:24:13.840
doing it right. And my first relationship was when I was 38 and, or 37 or something. And I'm 41

1290
01:24:13.840 --> 01:24:20.880
and it was, um, long and short of it. It was like a really, he was still like had a lot of pain.

1291
01:24:20.880 --> 01:24:28.000
Um, porn addiction, video game, alcohol, this trifecta, but I saw beyond it. Cause he had just

1292
01:24:28.000 --> 01:24:33.840
come to know the Lord. And so you're like, I can see beyond and I'm going to continue to walk with

1293
01:24:33.840 --> 01:24:37.040
you and forgive you and pray for you. And, you know, but obviously the Lord was like,

1294
01:24:37.600 --> 01:24:43.200
you're a codependent, you know, like I've been on this whole journey. Um, but sometimes when I'm in

1295
01:24:43.200 --> 01:24:48.080
family settings, I'll look around the room and it's like, it feels like everyone's life has

1296
01:24:48.080 --> 01:24:55.280
moved forward. And like the ache of my heart has been to be a mom since I was like 10. And so when

1297
01:24:55.280 --> 01:24:59.840
I sit in my family's living room and I see like everyone's life.

1298
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.920
is like, you know, all these kids and like fruitfulness.

1299
01:25:03.920 --> 01:25:06.960
And it's like the lie that can come in the comparison

1300
01:25:06.960 --> 01:25:11.760
is like, I only attract projects or wounded men.

1301
01:25:11.760 --> 01:25:15.200
Like I didn't even date this guy for like,

1302
01:25:15.200 --> 01:25:16.600
we weren't even official.

1303
01:25:16.600 --> 01:25:18.800
I told him I'm not interested at two weeks.

1304
01:25:18.800 --> 01:25:20.640
He ended up being this psycho

1305
01:25:20.640 --> 01:25:22.420
and I had like a two year restraining order.

1306
01:25:22.420 --> 01:25:24.380
He was like harassing me.

1307
01:25:24.380 --> 01:25:28.480
And you know, so it's like these two relationships

1308
01:25:28.480 --> 01:25:31.220
I've had have been like this hot mess of a man

1309
01:25:31.220 --> 01:25:32.680
who I release and I forgive.

1310
01:25:32.680 --> 01:25:35.680
And it's like, I've taken so much from it

1311
01:25:35.680 --> 01:25:38.660
and so much good and like know what I'm looking for.

1312
01:25:40.360 --> 01:25:43.880
But especially when someone said like the people

1313
01:25:43.880 --> 01:25:46.880
that you were, a lot of the kids I babysat

1314
01:25:46.880 --> 01:25:49.020
have gotten married and have had kids.

1315
01:25:49.020 --> 01:25:52.800
And it's just like those moments for me are like,

1316
01:25:52.800 --> 01:25:57.800
or the enemies just like, it's easy for everybody else.

1317
01:25:58.400 --> 01:25:59.760
But it's always hard for you.

1318
01:25:59.760 --> 01:26:01.680
Like this lie that's kind of gotten in

1319
01:26:01.680 --> 01:26:03.080
over the last four years.

1320
01:26:03.080 --> 01:26:06.600
And so I'm just so grateful for this community.

1321
01:26:06.600 --> 01:26:08.400
And I know that God's doing a lot,

1322
01:26:08.400 --> 01:26:12.800
but it's still just that like having to choose gratitude

1323
01:26:12.800 --> 01:26:16.280
and not believe what the enemy is trying to throw at me.

1324
01:26:17.120 --> 01:26:19.840
So, okay, you have, thank you for sharing that.

1325
01:26:19.840 --> 01:26:21.880
First and foremost, super important.

1326
01:26:21.880 --> 01:26:23.220
You're very transparent.

1327
01:26:23.220 --> 01:26:25.400
Thank you for the kind words you said as well.

1328
01:26:26.000 --> 01:26:28.240
Encourages me when y'all are here.

1329
01:26:28.240 --> 01:26:29.320
You show up for yourselves,

1330
01:26:29.320 --> 01:26:32.100
but it encourages me when you're all here and you share.

1331
01:26:32.100 --> 01:26:35.200
God, I get so blessed by what God is doing.

1332
01:26:35.200 --> 01:26:37.600
It's truly remarkable, but okay.

1333
01:26:37.600 --> 01:26:42.120
So out of five kids, what kid were you in that order?

1334
01:26:42.120 --> 01:26:43.400
I'm the oldest.

1335
01:26:43.400 --> 01:26:45.000
Okay.

1336
01:26:45.000 --> 01:26:46.600
Oh, you said that oldest of five.

1337
01:26:46.600 --> 01:26:51.560
Okay, so what was, now I know you said

1338
01:26:51.560 --> 01:26:54.000
you have an amazing family and that's probably very true,

1339
01:26:54.080 --> 01:26:56.820
tell me, what was it like growing up for you?

1340
01:26:59.120 --> 01:27:03.880
I was the kid that was like,

1341
01:27:03.880 --> 01:27:08.520
like my parents meant well, but they were always like,

1342
01:27:08.520 --> 01:27:10.800
Megan, thank you for being such an easy kid.

1343
01:27:10.800 --> 01:27:12.100
Thank you for being such a blessing.

1344
01:27:12.100 --> 01:27:16.000
You're always like, I'm the helper through and through.

1345
01:27:16.000 --> 01:27:17.680
I'm like a two on the enneagram.

1346
01:27:17.680 --> 01:27:19.880
I see all the needs.

1347
01:27:19.880 --> 01:27:21.240
Other siblings are freaking out.

1348
01:27:21.240 --> 01:27:23.580
I have to really be easy and not be too complicated

1349
01:27:24.100 --> 01:27:24.940
for mom and dad.

1350
01:27:26.540 --> 01:27:29.980
And so I've had a lot of revelation of how I've just kind of

1351
01:27:29.980 --> 01:27:34.500
like a recovering people pleaser, like all the things.

1352
01:27:34.500 --> 01:27:38.400
And then as a kid, I, for whatever reason,

1353
01:27:38.400 --> 01:27:40.860
I have a crazy birth story and I'm not gonna get into it,

1354
01:27:40.860 --> 01:27:45.860
but because of my 27 week, I was born at 27 weeks preemie,

1355
01:27:48.080 --> 01:27:52.240
fought for my life and was never held, never touched,

1356
01:27:52.560 --> 01:27:53.600
until I was a month old.

1357
01:27:53.600 --> 01:27:55.720
So there's so much that the Lord's shown me over the years,

1358
01:27:55.720 --> 01:27:58.600
but it's like, I always had to be the strong one

1359
01:27:58.600 --> 01:28:00.160
or I put that pressure on myself.

1360
01:28:00.160 --> 01:28:02.040
No one communicated that to me.

1361
01:28:02.040 --> 01:28:06.220
My parents never were like, don't be emotional,

1362
01:28:06.220 --> 01:28:07.880
but I held all my emotions in.

1363
01:28:07.880 --> 01:28:11.800
So I was like, I didn't realize how much I was a feeler

1364
01:28:11.800 --> 01:28:15.040
till I was a teenager because I was like, suck it up.

1365
01:28:15.040 --> 01:28:16.440
Don't be too much.

1366
01:28:16.440 --> 01:28:19.520
Don't be too, like, don't make things too messy

1367
01:28:19.520 --> 01:28:21.800
because they're already stressed out with other kids.

1368
01:28:22.360 --> 01:28:23.200
Just be easy.

1369
01:28:23.200 --> 01:28:27.160
And so I just went on a journey of knowing

1370
01:28:27.160 --> 01:28:32.160
that that's not my place, but I just kind of took that role,

1371
01:28:32.200 --> 01:28:34.440
I guess, in my family.

1372
01:28:34.440 --> 01:28:35.280
Yeah.

1373
01:28:36.520 --> 01:28:41.520
So I think part of the thing is that you have to kind of,

1374
01:28:42.640 --> 01:28:46.760
what's coming to mind, Megan, is this convergence, right?

1375
01:28:46.760 --> 01:28:49.880
So it sounds like you've done a lot of healing work already

1376
01:28:49.880 --> 01:28:52.200
regarding the birth and all of that,

1377
01:28:52.200 --> 01:28:54.240
but I do want to kind of just encourage you

1378
01:28:54.240 --> 01:28:58.200
just to kind of do what I'm hearing the Lord say,

1379
01:28:58.200 --> 01:29:00.400
like a pass through, if you will,

1380
01:29:00.400 --> 01:29:02.520
and just make sure there's nothing lingering

1381
01:29:02.520 --> 01:29:04.680
regarding that timeframe.

1382
01:29:04.680 --> 01:29:07.960
But what I'm hearing too is this convergence, you know,

1383
01:29:07.960 --> 01:29:12.960
of like your younger self and your older self

1384
01:29:13.640 --> 01:29:16.360
kind of coming together and finally being okay

1385
01:29:16.360 --> 01:29:17.540
with who you are.

1386
01:29:18.260 --> 01:29:22.540
And at the core, there were a couple of things you said.

1387
01:29:22.540 --> 01:29:24.500
You said, I have to be easy.

1388
01:29:24.500 --> 01:29:26.980
I always have to be the strong one.

1389
01:29:26.980 --> 01:29:28.540
Suck it up, don't be too much.

1390
01:29:28.540 --> 01:29:30.100
Now, again, you're saying, you know,

1391
01:29:30.100 --> 01:29:31.500
your parents didn't say those things,

1392
01:29:31.500 --> 01:29:33.220
and that's, you know, probably very true.

1393
01:29:33.220 --> 01:29:35.900
There are a lot of people that hear things from the enemy,

1394
01:29:35.900 --> 01:29:38.220
even when their parents are not saying them to them,

1395
01:29:38.220 --> 01:29:40.380
and they internalize them,

1396
01:29:40.380 --> 01:29:42.900
and then they start living out through those lies.

1397
01:29:42.940 --> 01:29:47.220
But the reality is we probably saw something

1398
01:29:48.180 --> 01:29:49.900
or heard something.

1399
01:29:49.900 --> 01:29:52.020
It could have even been on TV.

1400
01:29:52.020 --> 01:29:53.100
Yeah.

1401
01:29:53.100 --> 01:29:54.680
I had a student once,

1402
01:29:54.680 --> 01:29:56.340
and I don't know if this is gonna resonate for you,

1403
01:29:56.340 --> 01:29:58.720
but it hasn't come up in my mind in a long time,

1404
01:29:58.720 --> 01:30:00.180
but it's coming up right now.

1405
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.480
I had this student that part of her healing journey here in the

1406
01:30:03.480 --> 01:30:08.020
heart work was one time we were doing a session and what came

1407
01:30:08.020 --> 01:30:11.920
out was that she saw something on TV when she was five years

1408
01:30:11.920 --> 01:30:19.840
old. It caused deep fear in her. And because that stuff entered,

1409
01:30:19.920 --> 01:30:23.720
and she could never remember what it was, but it was through

1410
01:30:23.720 --> 01:30:28.400
the TV. And so we did some heart work around what she saw on the

1411
01:30:28.400 --> 01:30:33.760
TV and, you know, kind of what it did in her when she saw it.

1412
01:30:34.240 --> 01:30:37.840
And it started unlocking a bunch of other things that she didn't

1413
01:30:37.840 --> 01:30:41.440
even recall that were connected back to that first time she saw

1414
01:30:41.440 --> 01:30:44.300
that on the TV. So again, I don't know if there is anything

1415
01:30:44.300 --> 01:30:47.520
like that for you, it could be totally different. But sometimes

1416
01:30:47.520 --> 01:30:51.720
we just don't know, you know, what we have taken in, even if

1417
01:30:51.720 --> 01:30:56.600
it wasn't through our parents. That can kind of be that

1418
01:30:56.880 --> 01:31:01.880
stopping point, if you will. Now, I do want you to really

1419
01:31:01.920 --> 01:31:06.720
work on. And when I say work on it, this is about you asking the

1420
01:31:06.720 --> 01:31:09.600
Lord for revealing for healing. That's the work part. Okay.

1421
01:31:09.640 --> 01:31:09.920
Yeah.

1422
01:31:11.240 --> 01:31:15.760
The, the part of being the oldest one, and you're not

1423
01:31:15.760 --> 01:31:20.600
married yet. Okay, remember the keyword yet? Yeah. And that's

1424
01:31:20.600 --> 01:31:24.120
not in a negative tone. That means it's coming soon. Okay.

1425
01:31:24.760 --> 01:31:29.200
But you also said, I only attract projects or wounded

1426
01:31:29.200 --> 01:31:32.600
people. And then you also told me you're a helper through and

1427
01:31:32.600 --> 01:31:38.040
through kind of in the past, to a fault. Okay. So what would it

1428
01:31:38.040 --> 01:31:45.680
look like for Megan, to not have to be perfect anymore? To not

1429
01:31:45.680 --> 01:31:51.600
have to have it all together, to really let yourself kind of cry

1430
01:31:51.600 --> 01:31:57.240
the ugly cry, feel the feels like what I'm hearing is to the

1431
01:31:57.240 --> 01:32:04.280
depth, not stay there forever, but just to really feel it.

1432
01:32:04.560 --> 01:32:09.920
Because here's the reality. You know, people that are big

1433
01:32:09.920 --> 01:32:15.840
givers attract takers. And it often begins in our family, even

1434
01:32:15.840 --> 01:32:22.160
if we have good families. So the tough thing is that you

1435
01:32:22.160 --> 01:32:26.680
might. And again, it doesn't mean you don't have amazing

1436
01:32:26.680 --> 01:32:30.880
parents, Megan, but you might need to finally be open to

1437
01:32:30.880 --> 01:32:35.800
letting God show you things that your parents missed with you.

1438
01:32:37.040 --> 01:32:42.560
Things that you needed them to see. And know that you didn't

1439
01:32:42.560 --> 01:32:46.080
want to have to be the good kid all the time. It didn't mean

1440
01:32:46.080 --> 01:32:48.200
that you didn't want to be good, if you know what I'm saying. But

1441
01:32:48.200 --> 01:32:51.960
like, it's a lot of pressure. And again, you said, you know,

1442
01:32:51.960 --> 01:32:54.640
that your parents didn't mean anything by it. But like that,

1443
01:32:54.960 --> 01:32:58.320
you know, that you're just the easy one. So then it does turn

1444
01:32:58.320 --> 01:33:01.200
into this, like, I can't ever, like, when you start to have

1445
01:33:01.200 --> 01:33:04.160
days that you're struggling, or you're carrying this load, you

1446
01:33:04.160 --> 01:33:07.480
know, you feel like you can't say anything. I had a lady just

1447
01:33:07.480 --> 01:33:10.840
last week, tell me that. I think I told you guys part of this

1448
01:33:10.840 --> 01:33:14.440
story. But she was in a church that when this teenager got

1449
01:33:14.440 --> 01:33:17.760
pregnant, they removed her from the church. Well, then something

1450
01:33:17.760 --> 01:33:20.800
bad happened to her. And she was terrified to ever say anything.

1451
01:33:21.160 --> 01:33:24.640
Oh, but see how we interpret things, and then we carry

1452
01:33:24.640 --> 01:33:31.240
things. So I'm just sensing that you're still carrying a load on

1453
01:33:31.240 --> 01:33:36.760
your back that you aren't meant to carry. And I think it's for

1454
01:33:36.760 --> 01:33:43.520
your family. So even though you're the oldest, the others

1455
01:33:43.520 --> 01:33:47.640
have kids and things, you've been carrying things for I think

1456
01:33:47.640 --> 01:33:50.680
a lot of them. I just I don't even know what that means for

1457
01:33:50.680 --> 01:33:52.920
you. But I think you've been carrying things for them for a

1458
01:33:52.920 --> 01:33:58.320
long time. And when we do that, it takes up space for us to be

1459
01:33:58.320 --> 01:34:03.200
able to receive things for ourselves. Yeah. Okay, it's not

1460
01:34:03.200 --> 01:34:06.440
their fault. It's not even necessarily your fault. It's

1461
01:34:07.120 --> 01:34:11.000
it's just the path that you've been on. But part of the path,

1462
01:34:11.040 --> 01:34:14.760
you know, has been also probably there were some protective

1463
01:34:14.760 --> 01:34:17.800
things because you were a preemie, you know, even like

1464
01:34:17.800 --> 01:34:20.560
pray into and again, I don't know if any of this I'm kind of

1465
01:34:20.560 --> 01:34:23.720
just throwing out anything that's bubbling up in me. Also

1466
01:34:23.720 --> 01:34:28.000
pray into if your parents kind of over protected you because

1467
01:34:28.000 --> 01:34:31.720
you were a preemie. You know, like if they were afraid of you,

1468
01:34:32.000 --> 01:34:35.160
you know, experiencing certain things and you know, just that

1469
01:34:35.160 --> 01:34:39.000
over protectiveness that might have even led you into being

1470
01:34:39.000 --> 01:34:43.360
overly cautious to do things and you know, again, none of that

1471
01:34:43.360 --> 01:34:47.400
may resonate, but let's just kind of pursue and ask the Lord

1472
01:34:47.400 --> 01:34:49.840
just keep asking the Lord really good questions. Let's pursue a

1473
01:34:49.840 --> 01:34:52.800
couple directions that I mentioned. And if you need to

1474
01:34:52.800 --> 01:34:55.480
catch the replay to kind of go back and hear that again,

1475
01:34:55.480 --> 01:34:58.440
because I was I was kind of going in a bunch of directions.

1476
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:09.000
Pray into that, and then I want to encourage you to come in the group and share, even if it's little things and you're just like, I don't know if this is anything I just want to process this.

1477
01:35:09.000 --> 01:35:18.000
This is where we can really help you start to gain some more traction is as things are coming up, just come in and ask, ask us a question we can help you.

1478
01:35:18.000 --> 01:35:25.000
Then we'll go to the next thing, you know, don't feel like you have to wait for weeks to figure something out and then come in.

1479
01:35:25.000 --> 01:35:33.000
You guys will start to gain more momentum. If you come in and short things and kind of share and then we can help you unpack it more. That makes sense.

1480
01:35:33.000 --> 01:35:41.000
Yes. Okay. Awesome. Thank you for sharing. I really think you're going to attract someone amazing, but you know, it starts on the inside of you.

1481
01:35:41.000 --> 01:35:49.000
I used to attract takers. Okay. Massively. I did. And I didn't know if it was ever going to end. So I just want to encourage you.

1482
01:35:49.000 --> 01:36:14.000
It did end, but you know what, what caused it to end is I had to partner with healing myself. I had to learn how to set healthy boundaries and then recognize, um, not just red flags, but recognize people that had green flags, recognize the healthy people.

1483
01:36:14.000 --> 01:36:28.000
And not ignore red flags when I saw them, because that was what got me into trouble is I would see red flags and people, and then I would keep going because like you, I would be believe the best in them. My, my spiritual daughter's dad.

1484
01:36:28.000 --> 01:36:32.000
Oh, my gosh, you guys would have thought he was a saint by how I saw him.

1485
01:36:33.000 --> 01:36:52.000
Literally. And I mean, not to everyone. I told my, my best friend, the real story, you know, but the reality is, is sometimes those are things that can get us really tripped up. So being fully honest with yourself. Okay. Even about things that might've hurt your feelings with siblings or parents or whoever. Okay.

1486
01:36:52.000 --> 01:36:53.000
Okay. Thank you, Bethany.

1487
01:36:53.000 --> 01:36:57.000
You're welcome. I'm excited for you. I think this is good stuff. Yeah.

1488
01:36:57.000 --> 01:36:58.000
I'm excited too. Thank you.

1489
01:36:59.000 --> 01:37:01.000
Yeah, you're welcome. Roseanne, go ahead.

1490
01:37:03.000 --> 01:37:21.000
Hi, Bethany. Hi group. Um, so I, I, I just wanted to get some coaching really, but what I shared in the group was, um, I think, and I'm not sure which, which comes first, you know, it's like the chicken or the egg thing.

1491
01:37:22.000 --> 01:37:39.000
It's a combination of, of comparison and competition. Um, or maybe I don't, like I said, I don't know which one come first comes first. I, I compare myself with others or other, you know, a lot of times at work is where I see it cropping up more.

1492
01:37:40.000 --> 01:37:58.000
Yeah. Um, because, you know, performance is measured and all of that. And so I compare myself with others and then I, you know, try to be, I, I, I have to fight not to let myself get into that competition mode and be manipulated by that.

1493
01:37:58.000 --> 01:37:59.000
Yeah.

1494
01:37:59.000 --> 01:38:14.000
Um, and then, but the, I mean, several things that you've said to the other ladies, like when Shekinah was talking and I'm, I'm 61 and never been married and never really dated a lot.

1495
01:38:14.000 --> 01:38:29.000
And one of the ladies in the breakout group said, you know, she joined, uh, last year single because she, like the Lord said, you're not going to get anything different if you don't do something different.

1496
01:38:29.000 --> 01:38:49.000
And so, you know, I, I kind of went, got into this place in my forties where I was at peace, you know, I, all I ever wanted was to be a wife and a mother. And when I got, you know, started into my late twenties, it was like, okay, this is not happening.

1497
01:38:49.000 --> 01:39:13.000
I'm not sure what to do, you know, and I was kind of on the, uh, cusp, if you will, of online dating. And I, so I never did that. I never got brave enough to do it, you know, honestly. And, um, I just always thought that I would meet somebody either, you know, at my church or God would bring somebody into my life.

1498
01:39:14.000 --> 01:39:39.000
And I've heard, you know, you and Jackie talk about, you know, people, singles who fall into the trap of being in the waiting room. And so this has been coming up for the last several months, probably maybe a couple months. It's like, I thought I was doing the right thing, you know, at the time.

1499
01:39:39.000 --> 01:39:58.000
And, and I didn't completely put my life on hold. You know, I, I bought a home. I went on some mission trips, but I never, you know, I was waiting to be pursued, you know, I wasn't trying to be out there and.

1500
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:06.880
find somebody on my own. And so, I don't know, a lot of the things you said to Shekinah, I was like,

1501
01:40:06.880 --> 01:40:10.640
I need to hear more of that. Yeah, so I have a question for you. Okay.

1502
01:40:13.440 --> 01:40:15.440
Do you believe that you're a bride, Roseanne?

1503
01:40:18.880 --> 01:40:27.840
Sometimes, honestly. I mean, there's part of me, like, because I know that nothing is impossible

1504
01:40:27.840 --> 01:40:34.000
with God. Okay. And that, you know, if he can get Sarah pregnant and Abraham, and they're,

1505
01:40:34.560 --> 01:40:40.640
I mean, I'm a nurse. And so I know what it means to be dead in your body. You know, if he can get

1506
01:40:41.680 --> 01:40:46.800
Sarah and Abraham, I mean, it's really both of them, you know, if he can get them, have them,

1507
01:40:46.800 --> 01:40:54.400
let them have a baby, they can do anything, you know. Here's the key. Right now, you're telling

1508
01:40:54.400 --> 01:41:01.200
me from your head knowledge, okay, which is, this is what's going to help you shift. But what I want

1509
01:41:01.200 --> 01:41:09.840
to ask you is not just here in your head knowledge, but down here in your heart. Do you believe

1510
01:41:09.840 --> 01:41:16.400
already that you are a bride? What that means is that your spirit mate is already on his way to

1511
01:41:16.400 --> 01:41:24.000
you and you're already on your way to him. Do you believe it in your knower down deep? And if not,

1512
01:41:24.000 --> 01:41:29.760
that's okay. But that's going to show you and reveal, okay, I'm not really believing this yet.

1513
01:41:29.760 --> 01:41:32.960
Because one of the things that stood out to me with what you were just saying,

1514
01:41:34.560 --> 01:41:42.400
you said at first, in my 40s, I was at peace. So that stood out to me. But then you said in my late 20s,

1515
01:41:44.560 --> 01:41:49.920
I started thinking this isn't happening. Yeah. So you know what that tells me?

1516
01:41:50.880 --> 01:41:57.760
We need to go and visit your late 20s and ask the Lord, what lies did you start believing back then

1517
01:41:58.480 --> 01:42:06.800
that you're still believing now? Because you heard this isn't happening. And then what happens

1518
01:42:06.800 --> 01:42:14.320
when we believe the lie that this is never going to happen for us, okay, we start aligning with it.

1519
01:42:14.880 --> 01:42:20.640
And then telling ourselves things like I'm better off single. I just need to be content. Even

1520
01:42:20.640 --> 01:42:26.400
messages come from the pulpit, you all to singles, telling us, you guys just wait for Boaz.

1521
01:42:26.400 --> 01:42:35.360
Just wait for Boaz. I think it's so funny when Jackie's like, well, Boaz and broke ass and all

1522
01:42:35.360 --> 01:42:39.920
these things when she starts saying, I just remember the first time I heard that because

1523
01:42:39.920 --> 01:42:46.480
that was, I mean, I waited for God to bring people too. But you know what? I thought I like

1524
01:42:46.480 --> 01:42:50.480
prayed for God to bring the you. I didn't even care if he was the UPS man, as long as he loved

1525
01:42:50.480 --> 01:42:54.480
the Lord. I mean, that's what I would, I didn't really believe, like, that's not really what I

1526
01:42:54.480 --> 01:43:00.720
wanted. But I was kind of like telling myself that because it was easier than what I had been

1527
01:43:00.720 --> 01:43:08.480
through before. Because I, I, you know, did meet the girl's dad on an online dating thing. So I

1528
01:43:08.480 --> 01:43:13.200
convinced myself that if it, it went bad once, it's always going bad online. And that's what I

1529
01:43:13.200 --> 01:43:19.840
convinced myself of. But the reality is, is that everybody's journey is different. And if what we've

1530
01:43:19.840 --> 01:43:24.640
been doing for a long time isn't working, well, we have to shift what we're doing, which is what

1531
01:43:24.640 --> 01:43:31.520
your friend said. You know, we got to do something different. And so, go ahead. I was just going to

1532
01:43:31.520 --> 01:43:38.000
say that's part of the reason I joined last year single. You know, I came to this after I had been

1533
01:43:38.000 --> 01:43:44.880
in a relationship with a man for 18 months, and we were engaged, and then he ended it. I remember.

1534
01:43:44.880 --> 01:43:52.160
And I knew that, you know, I, looking at my life before and what I believed and

1535
01:43:56.240 --> 01:44:02.800
how I lived my life, it's like, one of my, a pastor, you know, and I, every Sunday when, I mean,

1536
01:44:02.800 --> 01:44:09.120
like, he said it so many times, I was like, okay, I'm done with hearing you say this. He said,

1537
01:44:10.240 --> 01:44:14.640
the definition of an insanity is do the same thing expecting different results.

1538
01:44:14.640 --> 01:44:20.880
And so that's why I joined last year single. It's like, okay, what I was doing before was not

1539
01:44:20.880 --> 01:44:27.040
working. I wasn't meeting anyone. I was not, you know, kind of like some, one of the other ladies,

1540
01:44:27.040 --> 01:44:34.560
I was in a church that there weren't a lot of single men, and the ones that were there didn't

1541
01:44:34.560 --> 01:44:40.080
really seem to be looking, you know, to be married. And so that's why I came to last year single. It's

1542
01:44:40.080 --> 01:44:44.800
like, okay, I got to do something different. Yeah. I mean, we literally encourage people to go to

1543
01:44:44.800 --> 01:44:49.360
different churches if they need to, or go to a church that has a singles group for the singles

1544
01:44:49.360 --> 01:44:54.240
group or whatever to get out of the comfort zone of where we're at. We have to stop believing that

1545
01:44:54.240 --> 01:44:58.560
God's just going to like, you know, like back in the day, what was that? Beam me up, Scotty. Like,

1546
01:44:58.560 --> 01:44:59.920
it makes me think of that. I don't know.

1547
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:02.320
I don't even know what that's from, but that just came up in my mind.

1548
01:45:02.580 --> 01:45:05.920
Like we just, it's kind of like, we think God's just going to put

1549
01:45:05.920 --> 01:45:07.220
him right down all the time.

1550
01:45:07.500 --> 01:45:10.500
And then we get mad at God when he does not do that.

1551
01:45:10.540 --> 01:45:13.980
And even if we're not angry people internally, we're like doubt God.

1552
01:45:14.280 --> 01:45:16.740
So here's my assignment for you.

1553
01:45:16.800 --> 01:45:17.580
Are you ready?

1554
01:45:18.020 --> 01:45:18.580
Yes, ma'am.

1555
01:45:19.580 --> 01:45:20.340
Are you sure?

1556
01:45:20.540 --> 01:45:21.780
Well, I'm going to write it down.

1557
01:45:23.420 --> 01:45:24.100
All right.

1558
01:45:25.580 --> 01:45:27.900
I want you to go try on wedding dresses, Roseanne.

1559
01:45:28.620 --> 01:45:28.940
Okay.

1560
01:45:30.480 --> 01:45:33.160
And I want you to take some pictures in those wedding dresses.

1561
01:45:33.160 --> 01:45:39.440
I want you to start picturing yourself as a bride, because it's going to, it's

1562
01:45:39.440 --> 01:45:42.400
going to cause you to face some things that you haven't faced yet.

1563
01:45:42.400 --> 01:45:43.440
I really believe that.

1564
01:45:43.820 --> 01:45:50.340
So that's part of this process, you know, and if you're afraid to do it yourself,

1565
01:45:50.340 --> 01:45:54.540
take a friend that has some courage that you can borrow, but

1566
01:45:54.540 --> 01:45:56.140
the point is the process.

1567
01:45:56.160 --> 01:45:56.700
Okay.

1568
01:45:56.960 --> 01:46:02.560
So it might be that the first day you just go in a store and look, okay.

1569
01:46:03.080 --> 01:46:06.160
Then maybe it's the next time you go in and try them on.

1570
01:46:06.440 --> 01:46:09.400
Maybe you're going to just God, I trust that God can just

1571
01:46:09.400 --> 01:46:11.560
empower you to go and try them on.

1572
01:46:11.800 --> 01:46:15.480
But I'm just saying to you, whatever your process needs to be for you,

1573
01:46:15.860 --> 01:46:18.220
I trust that, you know, for you.

1574
01:46:18.660 --> 01:46:23.200
But I think that if you're at that point where I do, I do want you to pray about

1575
01:46:23.200 --> 01:46:27.480
the twenties, the late twenties, what happened during that time that caused

1576
01:46:27.480 --> 01:46:33.520
you to believe this is just not happening for me and let's get to some root

1577
01:46:33.520 --> 01:46:39.160
lies back in that age frame and let's see what else God unlocks through that.

1578
01:46:39.160 --> 01:46:47.080
But, um, yeah, I really, I really would not say to everybody to do the

1579
01:46:47.080 --> 01:46:51.060
bride thing in the heartwork, but I know that you've been here, you know,

1580
01:46:51.060 --> 01:46:52.840
you've been with us for a little bit.

1581
01:46:53.080 --> 01:46:55.780
I know the other things you've been really leaning into and getting

1582
01:46:55.780 --> 01:46:58.520
healing, and I think this is going to be, I think this is going to kind

1583
01:46:58.520 --> 01:47:02.760
of move the needle a little bit more for you in this process, because

1584
01:47:03.040 --> 01:47:07.600
again, you have to get it from your head from knowing, okay, God is good.

1585
01:47:07.600 --> 01:47:09.400
God did it for Abraham and Sarah.

1586
01:47:09.400 --> 01:47:14.600
And those are good things, Roseanne, but it's got to get down in here.

1587
01:47:15.440 --> 01:47:15.840
Right.

1588
01:47:16.260 --> 01:47:16.680
Right.

1589
01:47:16.980 --> 01:47:20.560
And in order for that to happen, we have to feel the feels

1590
01:47:20.680 --> 01:47:22.360
so that God can heal the fields.

1591
01:47:22.600 --> 01:47:26.800
And I believe it, I think it's going to unlock some of that for you.

1592
01:47:26.800 --> 01:47:30.640
Cause until you tap back into what caused you to quit

1593
01:47:30.640 --> 01:47:32.440
believing in the first place.

1594
01:47:33.000 --> 01:47:33.360
Right.

1595
01:47:35.080 --> 01:47:38.480
I think it's going to feel like, well, I believe, but then you're

1596
01:47:38.480 --> 01:47:39.800
going to feel this stuck feeling.

1597
01:47:39.840 --> 01:47:40.520
Does that make sense?

1598
01:47:41.480 --> 01:47:44.160
And I like just you talking about it.

1599
01:47:44.160 --> 01:47:47.480
It's like, I can feel, you know, there's some pain in

1600
01:47:47.480 --> 01:47:48.640
there that needs to come up.

1601
01:47:49.240 --> 01:47:54.560
I know that, that part of what I dealt with, you know, through, I don't know,

1602
01:47:55.320 --> 01:48:05.000
you know, many years ago and for several probably years was it was easier to be

1603
01:48:05.000 --> 01:48:13.440
content than to continue to try to want, or even pursue that because I didn't

1604
01:48:13.440 --> 01:48:15.840
want to be disappointed again or more.

1605
01:48:16.560 --> 01:48:24.080
You know, I wrote, I wrote in a journal one time, many years ago, God, I know you

1606
01:48:24.080 --> 01:48:27.040
love me, but I don't know if you care.

1607
01:48:30.360 --> 01:48:35.000
And so, yeah, I mean, if y'all don't know, that's the Holy spirit.

1608
01:48:35.000 --> 01:48:39.760
I feel like man, when I feel it sometimes it's just like, I can't contain it.

1609
01:48:40.760 --> 01:48:43.600
So there's something on that Roseanne for you.

1610
01:48:43.960 --> 01:48:49.400
It's kind of like, okay, go look at these wedding dresses and tell

1611
01:48:49.400 --> 01:48:51.280
yourself, God, you do care.

1612
01:48:52.120 --> 01:48:57.320
I actually have one I got, I bought, you know, whenever I was engaged,

1613
01:48:57.520 --> 01:49:00.800
cause I, I mean, you know, it's been years since I thought about it.

1614
01:49:00.800 --> 01:49:02.880
I was like, oh my gosh, I don't even know what I want.

1615
01:49:03.440 --> 01:49:03.960
Okay.

1616
01:49:04.200 --> 01:49:05.480
And so I just ordered one.

1617
01:49:06.160 --> 01:49:08.120
I want you to pray into that though.

1618
01:49:08.760 --> 01:49:09.800
Here's why.

1619
01:49:10.640 --> 01:49:12.960
You bought that to marry someone else.

1620
01:49:14.600 --> 01:49:19.240
And sometimes I've even had ladies in here that when they sell that old

1621
01:49:19.240 --> 01:49:22.040
dress, something unlocks from that too.

1622
01:49:22.040 --> 01:49:26.960
Even if it's a dress that you love, you're different now, if, if that's

1623
01:49:26.960 --> 01:49:32.040
connected to something old that broke your heart, even though you like the

1624
01:49:32.040 --> 01:49:36.520
style of that dress, when you look at it, it's going to cause you to think

1625
01:49:36.600 --> 01:49:41.120
about that old thing subconsciously, whether you realize it or not.

1626
01:49:41.640 --> 01:49:45.320
And so, again, I'm not telling you that you have to, I just want you to pray

1627
01:49:45.320 --> 01:49:48.840
into that, consider releasing that dress.

1628
01:49:49.480 --> 01:49:49.840
Yeah.

1629
01:49:49.920 --> 01:49:52.760
I've been asking the Lord what to do about it.

1630
01:49:52.760 --> 01:49:54.000
So this is good.

1631
01:49:54.280 --> 01:49:54.840
Yes.

1632
01:49:55.040 --> 01:49:55.320
Yeah.

1633
01:49:55.320 --> 01:49:59.960
Ladies highly recommend any of you that bought a dress when you were.

1634
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:08.480
engaged before or shoes or, you know, old stuff. I encourage you to sell that stuff.

1635
01:50:09.200 --> 01:50:17.040
Of course, ask the Lord first, but it's time for something new that's untethered to those

1636
01:50:17.040 --> 01:50:23.520
old things. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. So we're living, we're living fully, not halfway

1637
01:50:23.520 --> 01:50:27.680
living because I bought this before and that didn't work out. So now I'm just going to kind

1638
01:50:27.680 --> 01:50:34.240
of use it for now. Let's live fully. You know, like, like I said, when I realized that dress,

1639
01:50:34.240 --> 01:50:40.080
I'm going to, I'm going to put the picture up for y'all. So you can see the dress that I, that I

1640
01:50:41.520 --> 01:50:46.080
bought initially and the dress that I got married in. So y'all can see the difference

1641
01:50:46.080 --> 01:50:51.440
in those dresses. It's quite profound. But I had to learn how to not settle.

1642
01:50:52.320 --> 01:50:57.680
They both were not cheap dresses either. It wasn't that they were like, it was a beautiful

1643
01:50:57.680 --> 01:51:05.680
dress. It just wasn't my dress. Okay. So pray into those, let us know how that goes. And, uh,

1644
01:51:05.680 --> 01:51:12.400
we're going to be cheering you on. And if you're going to go, if you go for it and go try on some

1645
01:51:12.800 --> 01:51:17.120
If you go for it and go try on some new dresses, here's the other piece.

1646
01:51:18.480 --> 01:51:26.240
We want to see evidence. We want to see some evidence, evidence, and ladies,

1647
01:51:26.240 --> 01:51:30.880
if this is ministering to you, if this is stirring some things up in you,

1648
01:51:31.600 --> 01:51:37.360
go for it, go grab it for yourself. I hope that you guys all know that if I'm coaching someone

1649
01:51:37.360 --> 01:51:44.240
else and it's stirring things up in you, you can totally go do it for yourself. Don't think that

1650
01:51:44.240 --> 01:51:49.600
just because I'm coaching Roseanne that it can't apply to you. Some of y'all need to get some bride

1651
01:51:49.600 --> 01:51:56.400
gear. And this isn't about name it, claim it, fake stuff. This is about you partnering with faith.

1652
01:51:59.120 --> 01:52:06.480
That God does what Roseanne said. I believe God, you love me, but do you care? And remember I coach

1653
01:52:06.560 --> 01:52:13.440
on, he not only cares about our needs, but our wants. So if that's true, well, he absolutely

1654
01:52:13.440 --> 01:52:19.600
cares about us. It's just getting to the root of what, what causes us to believe the opposite of

1655
01:52:19.600 --> 01:52:27.840
that. I'm so excited. I can't wait to see where this goes. And, uh, maybe we'll see some lovely

1656
01:52:27.840 --> 01:52:33.600
bride pictures from some of y'all in the process here. Um, we got to believe we're a bride long

1657
01:52:33.600 --> 01:52:40.240
before we become the bride ladies. Okay. Roseanne, thank you so much for sharing. Catherine, go ahead.

1658
01:52:43.280 --> 01:52:50.800
I was sharing in my group about how I would compare myself. And I know like I've compared

1659
01:52:50.800 --> 01:52:57.360
myself to, um, Christian siblings in Christ that were here, they are married and it's been a

1660
01:52:57.360 --> 01:53:04.240
successful marriage. And that's like the thing I haven't had, but growing up, um, cause it goes

1661
01:53:04.240 --> 01:53:11.520
for growing up. I always compared myself with my brother always. Um, I thought he was the smart one.

1662
01:53:11.520 --> 01:53:19.440
I thought, I know lately I constantly say, I even say it to my dad, he's the smart one. He spent,

1663
01:53:19.440 --> 01:53:24.720
he spent this money traveling around the globe instead of wasting money on a, on a marriage that

1664
01:53:24.800 --> 01:53:32.560
didn't last and then wasting it on a divorce. And I'm now realizing as you were coaching everybody,

1665
01:53:33.680 --> 01:53:37.440
uh, this party didn't think to share on the group cause it didn't come up till now.

1666
01:53:38.160 --> 01:53:44.240
I've always compared myself to my brother because he's on the gifted end. He actually teaches

1667
01:53:44.800 --> 01:53:49.920
gifted teenagers in high school. He teaches typical teenagers, Spanish and French,

1668
01:53:49.920 --> 01:53:57.120
and he teaches gifted. I've went through special education. Um, that's why I I'm in the field.

1669
01:53:57.120 --> 01:54:03.360
That's why I want to help others with special ed. So always would compare myself even to,

1670
01:54:03.360 --> 01:54:09.120
well, he's doing better in school. He's doing harder stuff. I would always say things like,

1671
01:54:09.120 --> 01:54:16.240
I wish I was normal. I, and, um, and then today, like I think about when I was picking up my son

1672
01:54:16.240 --> 01:54:20.880
at the Y and talking about, you know, how it's good that my son's going to the Y he had social

1673
01:54:20.880 --> 01:54:27.600
skills. Cause I know he's special at two. I found myself blurting out about like to, to, you know,

1674
01:54:27.600 --> 01:54:34.400
I made friends with someone there that takes care of him there of how great in this group,

1675
01:54:34.400 --> 01:54:39.920
because Jackie can teach me like in phase two social skills about being in a good relationship.

1676
01:54:39.920 --> 01:54:46.960
I'm realizing I'm blaming all of this on, I have autism, so I'm just stupid with people.

1677
01:54:46.960 --> 01:54:53.600
So I always attract people that just walk all over me. Oh, this one's disabled. She's special

1678
01:54:53.600 --> 01:54:58.640
needs. She, and then I guess that's why I feel like I would attract all the guys that they just

1679
01:54:58.640 --> 01:54:59.760
want one thing.

1680
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:06.960
and even as a teenager there was a neighbor that tried to lure me into his house of like

1681
01:55:06.960 --> 01:55:13.440
help me clean and I thought he was just you know gonna hire me for a job and my mom saw

1682
01:55:13.440 --> 01:55:19.680
otherwise so she protected me from that but it's like deep down inside I guess I feel like I can

1683
01:55:19.680 --> 01:55:26.240
attract good men because I'm on the autism spectrum and my social skills are horrible

1684
01:55:27.200 --> 01:55:32.320
so that's been something that's been coming up like today when I really think about it's really

1685
01:55:32.320 --> 01:55:37.200
been coming up today and I'm like wow that's that's a big revelation which of course as a

1686
01:55:37.200 --> 01:55:45.040
mom I hurt because if I feel that way about me well how is my son gonna have good relationships

1687
01:55:45.040 --> 01:55:51.520
as he gets older so well part of that goes deep yeah no and this is really great Catherine this

1688
01:55:51.520 --> 01:55:57.280
is the first time I've heard you connecting these dots so it's super important um one of the ways

1689
01:55:57.280 --> 01:56:01.600
your son is going to learn something different is because you're healing and you're catching

1690
01:56:01.600 --> 01:56:06.240
on to these things now and you're going to start doing different things which are going to help him

1691
01:56:06.240 --> 01:56:12.400
have a completely different path than what you had a couple things super important um you know

1692
01:56:13.440 --> 01:56:20.000
just even encouraging you to on your silhouette right that you are smart do you know that's

1693
01:56:20.080 --> 01:56:25.680
like even the things that you're identifying are very smart revelatory things these are things that

1694
01:56:25.680 --> 01:56:31.680
you're picking up on and so I really want to encourage you well you know your brother is

1695
01:56:31.680 --> 01:56:37.680
smart in one way you are smart in other ways and I don't think it makes like the way I tell this

1696
01:56:37.680 --> 01:56:44.720
story let me say it like this when I see another woman that's beautiful does it mean that I'm not

1697
01:56:44.720 --> 01:56:54.400
beautiful no it doesn't we can both be beautiful and be beautiful in entirely different ways than

1698
01:56:54.400 --> 01:57:00.320
each other you know what I'm saying so your brother can be smart and you can be smart you

1699
01:57:00.320 --> 01:57:07.280
guys can be totally different people it doesn't mean that you're not a smart person but I understand

1700
01:57:07.280 --> 01:57:12.720
why those comparisons would happen in you but I think that God is just trying to say to you that

1701
01:57:12.720 --> 01:57:19.280
hey that's not how I see you God doesn't see you as someone that is dumb or that just can't

1702
01:57:19.280 --> 01:57:26.800
have any social skills you might have to um work a little harder in this sense like my brother-in-law

1703
01:57:26.800 --> 01:57:33.520
has autism and I can tell that sometimes he has to put more effort into social skills and things

1704
01:57:33.520 --> 01:57:40.640
like that but he has learned so I believe that you can learn too and it might mean taking a social

1705
01:57:40.640 --> 01:57:47.680
skills class it might mean getting around other people that you know know your personality and

1706
01:57:47.680 --> 01:57:53.040
know your struggles that can kind of partner with you and walk with you people that you will talk to

1707
01:57:53.040 --> 01:57:58.800
like our community about people that you're dating to try to safeguard you a little bit so that you

1708
01:57:58.800 --> 01:58:04.080
don't get lured into relationships where people take advantage of you I mean you're doing a lot

1709
01:58:04.080 --> 01:58:10.320
of really good things Catherine to change the trajectory of your future one of the other things

1710
01:58:10.320 --> 01:58:18.000
that I think is really important though here I understand why you feel like it's wasted money

1711
01:58:18.000 --> 01:58:25.680
on your prior marriage and the divorce but I really want to encourage you to ask God to help

1712
01:58:25.680 --> 01:58:32.640
you change the way that you're looking at that because the reality is is you have still learned

1713
01:58:32.640 --> 01:58:39.840
you have still grown like this is not wasted money this is not a wasted experience that is

1714
01:58:39.840 --> 01:58:45.600
the enemy trying to get you to still partner with that whole part of your life was such a waste

1715
01:58:46.480 --> 01:58:53.360
such a failure well here's the reality I went through a divorce too and I'll tell you what

1716
01:58:53.360 --> 01:58:59.280
I lost a lot of money too but I don't sit around thinking about all that wasted money

1717
01:58:59.280 --> 01:59:06.720
did I used to think like that yes I did but I had to allow God to heal my heart and understand

1718
01:59:06.720 --> 01:59:16.640
that while that hurt me God was teaching me God was healing me God was restoring me but

1719
01:59:16.640 --> 01:59:23.120
how did that happen well I gave it to him I gave it all to him because you know what I couldn't

1720
01:59:23.120 --> 01:59:29.280
change the fact that I grew up in an abusive home that I saw things I never should have saw I

1721
01:59:29.280 --> 01:59:35.200
experienced things that I never should have experienced as a child I was not equipped to be

1722
01:59:35.280 --> 01:59:42.400
married at the age I got married but I chose to do it I did I chose to marry way too young

1723
01:59:43.840 --> 01:59:46.320
but God's grace is sufficient for me

1724
01:59:48.720 --> 01:59:53.120
and all that money God can bring that back into my life

1725
01:59:55.200 --> 01:59:57.120
I believe that 100 percent

1726
01:59:59.040 --> 01:59:59.760
do I wish

1727
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:03.400
That would have turned out differently as far as not getting divorced?

1728
02:00:03.400 --> 02:00:04.720
Yeah, of course.

1729
02:00:06.120 --> 02:00:10.200
But would I have met Brian if that didn't happen?

1730
02:00:11.960 --> 02:00:13.280
I probably wouldn't have.

1731
02:00:15.880 --> 02:00:19.520
So all I know is that I'm in a marriage now.

1732
02:00:19.520 --> 02:00:21.320
That's very life-giving.

1733
02:00:22.280 --> 02:00:23.800
My husband builds me up.

1734
02:00:24.480 --> 02:00:26.680
We're a partner with each other.

1735
02:00:26.740 --> 02:00:28.040
We cheer each other on.

1736
02:00:28.040 --> 02:00:29.880
We love each other genuinely.

1737
02:00:30.200 --> 02:00:34.700
We have learned how to navigate financial things together more than

1738
02:00:34.700 --> 02:00:39.080
I've ever had anybody do in the, like things are, I'm not saying they're

1739
02:00:39.080 --> 02:00:42.240
always easy, marriage isn't always easy, but it's good.

1740
02:00:44.040 --> 02:00:48.000
So I want to encourage you to continue to let go of the regrets, Catherine.

1741
02:00:48.000 --> 02:00:50.120
It's time, you know, you've been doing it.

1742
02:00:50.160 --> 02:00:51.560
I've noticed you've been doing it.

1743
02:00:51.560 --> 02:00:53.400
You've been trying to let that go.

1744
02:00:53.760 --> 02:00:58.280
But the more that you let go of the negative verbiage about the, the, all

1745
02:00:58.280 --> 02:01:02.760
the things that were taken from you, the wasted things, again, that's all victim

1746
02:01:02.760 --> 02:01:03.480
language.

1747
02:01:04.520 --> 02:01:08.840
And again, I understand why you're saying it, but I want to encourage you to keep

1748
02:01:08.840 --> 02:01:12.840
shifting out of that because that gives the enemy power over you.

1749
02:01:14.800 --> 02:01:15.280
Okay.

1750
02:01:15.680 --> 02:01:17.160
You are a smart woman.

1751
02:01:17.440 --> 02:01:18.880
You're a capable woman.

1752
02:01:19.080 --> 02:01:20.440
You're a loving woman.

1753
02:01:20.680 --> 02:01:22.120
You care about your son.

1754
02:01:22.120 --> 02:01:23.800
You're being an amazing mom.

1755
02:01:24.800 --> 02:01:26.520
You're helping people in ministry.

1756
02:01:26.520 --> 02:01:28.280
There's so much good in you.

1757
02:01:28.640 --> 02:01:31.200
God is doing so many good things in you.

1758
02:01:31.440 --> 02:01:35.200
So I want to encourage you to partner with that and keep moving forward.

1759
02:01:35.200 --> 02:01:36.840
God has good things ahead for you.

1760
02:01:37.200 --> 02:01:38.440
Keep staying in community.

1761
02:01:38.440 --> 02:01:43.160
Keep coming to the coaching, keep applying what, what you're learning to the best of

1762
02:01:43.160 --> 02:01:43.920
your ability.

1763
02:01:44.240 --> 02:01:47.760
And I think, I think things are going to go a lot differently for you.

1764
02:01:49.160 --> 02:01:53.320
Well, you're right about that, even with the ministry, because I mean, I really got to

1765
02:01:53.320 --> 02:01:59.120
see this month that a huge reason why God told me to move upstate is I'm supposed to go into

1766
02:01:59.120 --> 02:02:00.200
ministry with my dad.

1767
02:02:01.040 --> 02:02:05.320
My son and I have been enjoying going to his church that he's pastoring at for three

1768
02:02:05.320 --> 02:02:06.040
Sundays now.

1769
02:02:06.440 --> 02:02:10.280
He started April 12th and he and I are believing for kids.

1770
02:02:11.000 --> 02:02:15.400
We're believing for kids and I'm even believing for kids with disabilities.

1771
02:02:15.560 --> 02:02:17.880
And I know exactly how to minister to them.

1772
02:02:17.880 --> 02:02:21.200
Like, first of all, I've been one of them and then I have one of them.

1773
02:02:21.760 --> 02:02:25.280
That's right, God's equipping you and he's building you up.

1774
02:02:25.320 --> 02:02:31.120
Ladies, this is a prime example of just like us letting go of all of the old things.

1775
02:02:32.160 --> 02:02:36.440
You remember like laying those aside and pressing on toward the high calling of God for

1776
02:02:36.440 --> 02:02:37.040
our lives.

1777
02:02:37.320 --> 02:02:42.480
Catherine, so excited for you again, just keep surrendering those old thoughts and kind of

1778
02:02:42.480 --> 02:02:48.360
that old kind of stinking thinking, if you will, and allow God to give you new, excuse me,

1779
02:02:48.360 --> 02:02:50.160
new thoughts and a new heart.

1780
02:02:50.600 --> 02:02:52.520
And it's going to go really well.

1781
02:02:52.520 --> 02:02:53.480
We're at 10.03.

1782
02:02:53.480 --> 02:02:56.880
Ladies, I went way long again tonight, but it was really, really good.

1783
02:02:56.880 --> 02:03:00.000
I feel like we were in a really important vein tonight.

1784
02:03:00.040 --> 02:03:06.040
I really hope you guys take a lot of stuff, put this stuff into practice, come in, show us

1785
02:03:06.040 --> 02:03:08.200
pictures of what you're doing, what you're trying.

1786
02:03:08.200 --> 02:03:09.680
What does it look like to be the real you?

1787
02:03:09.680 --> 02:03:14.480
If some of you go try some stuff that you've never done before, show some of that in the

1788
02:03:14.480 --> 02:03:14.920
group, too.

1789
02:03:14.920 --> 02:03:16.280
It's going to encourage other people.

1790
02:03:16.480 --> 02:03:17.280
I'm going to pray us out.

1791
02:03:17.280 --> 02:03:19.480
Father, thank you so much for everything tonight.

1792
02:03:20.160 --> 02:03:25.200
God, we ask you just to seal it all, encourage these ladies, lift them up, help them to have

1793
02:03:25.200 --> 02:03:30.480
amazing dreams, awaken the princesses in them, help them to arise and allow their light to

1794
02:03:30.480 --> 02:03:30.960
shine.

1795
02:03:30.960 --> 02:03:35.200
God, we ask you to help them to see what your plans and purposes are for them, not just

1796
02:03:35.200 --> 02:03:39.920
necessarily five years ahead, but just right now and help them to have the courage to walk

1797
02:03:39.920 --> 02:03:41.360
it out right now in this season.

1798
02:03:41.360 --> 02:03:42.800
We just thank you in advance for that.

1799
02:03:42.800 --> 02:03:43.880
In Jesus name.

1800
02:03:44.320 --> 02:03:45.080
Amen.

1801
02:03:45.080 --> 02:03:45.880
Amen.

1802
02:03:46.120 --> 02:03:47.200
God bless you all.

1803
02:03:47.200 --> 02:03:48.560
Have a good night, everyone.

1804
02:03:48.560 --> 02:03:49.040
Bye bye.

1805
02:03:49.040 --> 02:03:50.600
Bye.