WEBVTT

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Welcome, everybody. It is May. May the 4th be with you today. May the 4th be with you

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today. I'm excited to see you guys. I feel like I get to see you like once a month. So

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I want to hear, give me a high low. Brian and I do this a lot. Give me your high and

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a low. High low. You know what I mean by that? Like something that's really good and something

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that's not so good that's going on in your life. It could have nothing to do with dating

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or it could have to do with dating. David, since you're my upper left corner, I'm going

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to let you start.

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All right. I guess a low was I went through a kind of a brief course in attachment with

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an attachment coach, but they're just trying something out new and they got a lot of feedback

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that was similar to mine. But it was kind of frustrating because I was hoping to at

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least get 50% through it and maybe got 20% through it. And a high is yesterday at the

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revelation that I was conflating not having interest in relationship with what it actually

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was, was not having interest in relating the way I used to, which was codependent and enmeshment

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and that's two totally different things. So I'm definitely not any place I've ever been before.

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I always kept beating myself up for the past several months saying, I used to be interested

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in finding somebody about a seven out of 10 and it's been stuck at a three forever. But yeah,

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but I'm realizing- Do you think you're ready for a secure attachment maybe now?

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Well, I'm moving towards it. I'm kind of right in the middle of a lot of heavy

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attachment work with that attachment coach. So yeah.

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Okay. Sounds good. All right. Abram, how about you, man? High, low?

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So a high is I have a date lined up with a lady and I'm looking forward to it. She is local,

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she is Catholic, and she knows the names of different priests and deacons at all the

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churches, which is pretty cool. So she's super familiar. So that's happening today, actually.

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I'm going to go. A low is I still got some issues- Wait, wait. We're having the date tonight?

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Yeah. What time? It's at seven.

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Oh, wait. Where are you? It's five o'clock for me right now, like PM.

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I'm on the West Coast. I'm West Coaster, like Mike.

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That's right. I was like, dude, get the heck out. Okay.

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Yeah, no, I got time. How did you meet her?

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Off of a dating site and an app. And I just immediately linked her my

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social media to make sure she's real. And she requested immediately. And then I,

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a couple of deal breaking questions like, do you want kids?

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Okay. You guys hit some hard questions.

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Yeah. I mean, I think for me, if you don't want kids, there's no point. So

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I go like light deal breakers, like do you want kids? Are you a crazy left feminist lady? She's

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not, which is nice. Hopefully you did not ask it that way,

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but okay. No, I mean, I had my words, but basically people get the hint of what kind of,

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what, you know, are you a crazy lefty? So she's not. So that's cool.

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I'm excited. We are excited for you. Yeah, me too. I'm super excited. Negative

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right now is just my elbow. It's called ulnar nerve subluxation. So you guys might even be

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able to see it pop over, but I got some rubber banding in here and I'm going to go see the

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surgeon. Oh, you might even be able to kind of, yeah, anyways, just, just stuff from the break

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and trying to get tuned up. And so, yeah, that's not like a negative, really just kind of like

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sucking up buttercup stuff, but I still think there's hopefully some room for improvement,

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for longevity. And if not, you know, it's just going to be what it is. So it's all good.

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That's awesome. I'm excited for your date though. I'm sorry about the injury.

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Michael, hi-lo. Hello, how are you? I'm good. So

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hi, I don't know, my son got a job today. That was good. Wait, say that again?

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My son got a job today and he's been super depressed and stuff.

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with his mom. And so that's super amazing. So I guess that's my high because I've been

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waiting. How old is your son? 22. Mike, you do not seem old enough to have a 22 year old son.

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I know I have a 22 and I'm almost 18 year old. Yeah. So and so that's why I have facial hair

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because 20 year olds are hitting on me when I don't have it. Plus, I don't I can't I have to

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do this. So so Lowe's, I mean, there's a bunch. But I'm just in a transition season. It seems to

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be moving. So that's good. You know, Abram, the Catholic gal, the cop, I was last week I was

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saying I went out, I'm going out on dates and one of them and she was a cop. And I didn't really

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know what to do with that. And I wasn't sure. And so how to like that wasn't in my my grid.

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But yeah, she's like, you know, I didn't feel a connection. I'm like, yeah, because I didn't.

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But cool. You know, like with the Catholicism and I don't know if I want to be married to a cop

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with that their schedule and like just wondering if she'll come home. Right. Like, you know,

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and so but so I guess that was kind of a bummer part, you know, but it was cool that we got to

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hang out, get some coffee, try the new ice cream. So, yeah. OK, awesome. Daniel, I don't know if

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you heard, but we're just sharing a high low. It didn't have to be about dating, just anything

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that's going on in your life. You're still muted, though, I know, so sorry about that. You're good.

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I mean, the high is that my training for like this half marathon is still going strong

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for next month. It was like mild caffeine, but I as I think it was like towards the end of

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or to the end of my run, I was able to get 12 miles in. So nice. And then the low is this has

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been a crazy couple of weeks and a few weeks, I should say, in terms of like folks passing away.

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I'm sorry to say, like one of my college friends like passed away like a few weeks ago. And this

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past Wednesday, the other this girl in Crystal and my and my Friday small group, her father

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passed away. So we're trying to like like pull money together and get her like an edible

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arrangement and like help her move boxes or whatever else. So nice, nice. Well, I'm so sorry

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for sharing my Christopher's. Are you guys available to speak wherever you guys are?

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If not, I'm going to jump to Andy. Andy, you're sharing. Oh, Christopher, I'll get you next. Andy,

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we are doing high low. Yep. OK, so the high is that I'm going to see my girlfriend,

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the high is that I'm going to see my girlfriend, Jill, in just just like another week.

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May 13th is when I'm leaving. The low is that we haven't been able to talk because her phone broke

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and and she can only communicate WhatsApp on her laptop, which she's not on that often.

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So we really haven't been able to communicate like hardly at all. And

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that's how long has that been? It's been like like.

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Like maybe like three or three weeks now and before that, her phone was like like the memory

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is maxed out. And that's why she couldn't like get the Marco Polo app, because like

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she literally did not have enough memory on her phone. So I think was just as well it died. Now

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I'll buy her a new one. That's what I'm going to do because she cannot afford to buy a new phone.

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So I'm going to buy her a new one. And how long are you going to be gone for a month?

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Wow. And I forget I forget. Does your job let you work remote? Is that how you did it? Yeah.

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Mm hmm. So I'm going to do that and and I'm planning to propose to her by the at the end of

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the near the end of the visit when my birthday is. My plan is to is to have my birthday party

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with her family and then propose to her in front of her family. That's my plan.

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Now, remind me, Andy, has anybody on your any of your family or friends have met her?

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Well, no, because you have to go to the Philippines to meet her.

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No, like so you haven't like joined her on a video call with any of your family.

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With my parents, I did. Okay. And are they supportive of this?

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Oh, definitely. They're very supportive. So they like her.

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Yeah, I mean, they didn't really get that much of a chance to interact with her. But you know,

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from what I tell them about her, you know, and I forget. Does she speak English?

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Did she speak English? Oh, yeah.

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She speaks very good English.

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Okay, and is she planning to come stateside

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or are you planning to go there?

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Well, most likely she'll come here,

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but I don't wanna be like,

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like you have to come here.

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Like, I wanna be, you know, flexible

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where I'm open to being over there.

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There are some good things about being there.

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Like for instance, I can actually eat food over there.

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I can't eat food in America.

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But I can eat food over there, so.

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Well, wow.

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Wow.

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Are you still gonna come on these calls

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so we can make sure you're still alive?

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I don't know.

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I mean, maybe.

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I don't know what time it'll be.

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It'll be like 4 a.m. or some crazy time.

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It'll be the morning.

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And also it'll probably be before,

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it'll be the evening for me

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because I'll be working graveyard shift.

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Okay, there you go.

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So I might still join, but it depends on like,

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you know, if I'm doing-

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Try to check in with the guys.

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Let them know you're still alive.

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We wanna make sure you've not been kidnapped or anything.

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Okay, awesome.

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All right, Christopher, now you can go.

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Sorry about that.

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All right.

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Yeah, sorry, I've been running around.

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I was, I actually just got off a date.

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Or if you wanna call it, whatever, made up.

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Don't wait, does this fall at the high or to the low?

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Oh, it's, I think it's a high.

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I think my high is definitely,

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I've been getting opportunities, which is new for me.

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And I just got done doing a walk around the reservoir

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down in Lafayette with her and just talking

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and kind of figuring out,

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we're still feeling each other out.

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But yes until it's no, so, but I had fun.

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And I guess the low is trying to navigate that.

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Right now I'm just like starting to realize

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that there are a lot of very kind

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and attentive and good women out there.

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And I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed

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with how do I narrow it down?

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So I'm actually,

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cause eventually I can't just keep going from,

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oh, you're nice.

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I don't wanna keep you,

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I keep you on the line for so long, right?

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Yeah, yeah, no, that's true.

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I think that when you have this wonderful problem

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and you have a plethora of women,

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you start asking about where their life is today

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and where they wanna go in the next 12 months.

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So it's really important for you to start to make sure,

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like, is she in alignment with me?

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You know, and I don't know if you were on the coaching call

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I just did last week,

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cause I kinda talked about, you know,

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obviously you wanna make sure she's mature,

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marriage-minded and feminine.

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And are you seeing that in her?

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Like, are you seeing,

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are you learning enough?

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You don't need to learn the details.

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In fact, you shouldn't with any of them.

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Like, does she seem to have healthy perspective on her past?

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The good, the bad and the ugly, you know?

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And is she able to talk about it in a way

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that she doesn't overshare and or doesn't fall apart?

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You're looking for somebody who you really like,

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they really align with all of the things

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that you're looking for and you like her.

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Like, you enjoy spending time with her.

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That's what you're really, really looking for.

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And it is okay, it is uncomfortable,

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but it is okay for you to like,

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I would say the kind of rule of thumb is, you know,

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go out on a few dates with one person

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and then you might have a few people

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that you're doing that with and that feels weird,

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but then it's okay for you to say like,

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you know what, I really enjoyed getting to know you,

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but, you know, I'm talking to a couple of people

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at the same time and I really kind of wanna

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focus in on one person.

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And definitely, is there, like,

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are you past date one with a few women?

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Yeah, I've, this was date number two

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with the one I just did.

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I've actually had one that I had a long conversation,

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very difficult conversation with,

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because she wanted exclusivity right away,

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like, and that was like a deal breaker for her.

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And she, it was weird.

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She's like negotiating.

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After one date?

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Yeah, she, and she lives in Reading,

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which is three hours away from me.

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And I'm like, I, like, I'm still,

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this is, I'm still new here.

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Like, no, I'm not ready for that.

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And so she was just very,

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we were having, like, boyfriend, girlfriend level,

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deep conversations with.

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about like, serious and not fun stuff. Yeah, like from the

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beginning, and then we're having this conversation. I'm like, do

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you think this is a great foundation to start with? Right

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off the bat? I just don't. But I took your advice. I held my

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line. I didn't explain.

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So good. So you kind of pushed back a little. How did she

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respond to trying to set some boundaries on the conversation?

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She just said she did not like the way I was doing that. Like,

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doesn't like the fact that I'm I'm trying to meet people and

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taking things slow that she thinks that that's not the way

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to do it. And tried to pull the I'm a counselor card on me like

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I'm a therapist card. And this is not I'm like, Okay, yeah,

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that that was the that I don't think she knew that. But that

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was the that was it. Like it wasn't gonna happen.

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00:15:50.920 --> 00:15:53.640
Well, and here's the thing, you guys like it's interesting that

226
00:15:53.640 --> 00:15:57.920
you're saying that because I feel like there's another guy in

227
00:15:58.200 --> 00:16:03.960
in our community. I just did a one on one with and I and she's

228
00:16:03.960 --> 00:16:09.040
a therapist too. Or she is like has been to a therapist. But

229
00:16:09.040 --> 00:16:15.520
she started pulling some therapy stuff. And I will say, when I

230
00:16:15.520 --> 00:16:20.080
hear that, that's somebody who's been injured. And that is

231
00:16:20.080 --> 00:16:23.760
somebody who is, you know, probably got taken advantage of

232
00:16:23.760 --> 00:16:27.800
in another relationship, probably gave too much. And so

233
00:16:27.800 --> 00:16:31.680
in all her therapy, you know, she is learning to find her

234
00:16:31.680 --> 00:16:35.360
voice set her boundaries. But the problem is now that you guys

235
00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:39.440
have read the heart work, you realize that that's her being

236
00:16:39.480 --> 00:16:44.560
self defended, not God defended, that she shouldn't be having

237
00:16:44.560 --> 00:16:47.560
boyfriend language, but hurt people do that because they're

238
00:16:47.560 --> 00:16:50.880
like, I'm just going to tell it to you all right now. And we're

239
00:16:50.880 --> 00:16:55.040
just gonna get it out of the way. So that we can decide and I

240
00:16:55.040 --> 00:17:01.200
only want you to see one person and and so you know, it is not

241
00:17:01.200 --> 00:17:06.560
your job to give them therapy back. And you just go, Okay,

242
00:17:06.560 --> 00:17:10.720
well, so I agree. I feel like you dodged a bullet too. But you

243
00:17:10.720 --> 00:17:15.480
know, it's, it's, but that's what you're gonna see. Now,

244
00:17:15.480 --> 00:17:19.359
here's what I will say. None of us want to be dating and making

245
00:17:19.359 --> 00:17:24.079
out with more than one person. That's not. And so maybe the

246
00:17:24.079 --> 00:17:28.400
phrase that you can start to say you guys in the beginning is,

247
00:17:28.760 --> 00:17:32.840
you know, I just just so you know, I'm trying to do it

248
00:17:32.840 --> 00:17:38.120
healthy this, you know, at this point, and the first few outings

249
00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:42.000
or meetings with a girl, I feel like this is us just in

250
00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:46.800
discovery. We're just discovery. We're not dating yet. Like, this

251
00:17:46.800 --> 00:17:51.320
is us to complete strangers, meeting each other and

252
00:17:51.320 --> 00:17:54.680
discovering a little bit of information about each other. We

253
00:17:54.680 --> 00:17:57.520
have some catching up to do because obviously, if we met

254
00:17:57.520 --> 00:18:01.040
each other in the real world, we will probably have interacted a

255
00:18:01.040 --> 00:18:06.800
number of times before one of us requests a date date. So like

256
00:18:06.800 --> 00:18:10.040
these first couple of sessions, like this is us just getting to

257
00:18:10.040 --> 00:18:15.520
know each other, making going from online to an in person

258
00:18:15.520 --> 00:18:20.360
date. So I'm glad that you dodged that bullet. But this

259
00:18:20.360 --> 00:18:26.280
other one today was a second date. And now she closer to you.

260
00:18:27.720 --> 00:18:33.280
Yes, yes, she lives in. Yes, she's driving distance since we

261
00:18:33.280 --> 00:18:36.320
could actually meet like I'm going to work right now. But I

262
00:18:37.200 --> 00:18:40.160
just woke up a little bit early. Do you work the night shift? Yes,

263
00:18:40.160 --> 00:18:43.960
I do. Yeah, yeah. So I woke up a little bit early and just you

264
00:18:43.960 --> 00:18:49.120
know, we went on a little walk around the reservoir met her dog

265
00:18:49.240 --> 00:18:51.120
because that's important. So

266
00:18:52.120 --> 00:18:54.400
did the dog like you? Because that's important.

267
00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:58.120
Dog. I think dog likes everyone is cute dog. So good, good

268
00:18:58.120 --> 00:19:00.720
behavior. Good behavior. So I was good.

269
00:19:02.720 --> 00:19:05.800
Okay, but yeah, what was your low?

270
00:19:06.800 --> 00:19:10.000
It's just trying to, to Oh, yeah, trying to just navigate

271
00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:13.880
all of this like, you know, I'm now that I'm actually getting

272
00:19:13.880 --> 00:19:16.720
opportunity because before it was this like, desperation

273
00:19:16.760 --> 00:19:19.480
unhealed, exactly what we're talking about. Now I'm on the

274
00:19:19.480 --> 00:19:22.440
other side of it. Like I was this person I just

275
00:19:26.280 --> 00:19:28.840
I but you know, so years ago, that's where I would be. I'm

276
00:19:28.840 --> 00:19:31.520
just like, hyper focusing on one person. So if it's going wrong,

277
00:19:31.520 --> 00:19:36.640
I'm just that always. So now I'm trying to just navigate. You

278
00:19:36.640 --> 00:19:39.880
know, and I'm very much the you know, when it when it happened

279
00:19:39.880 --> 00:19:44.560
first time with my wife, it was all I had all of the hormones

280
00:19:44.560 --> 00:19:49.400
and none of the good habits. Yeah, so it was just easy, you

281
00:19:49.400 --> 00:19:52.920
know, to just go full force and not have to worry about

282
00:19:52.920 --> 00:19:56.480
anything. But you know, now that I'm trying to do it whole

283
00:19:56.480 --> 00:19:58.240
healthy and healed. It's a bit harder.

284
00:19:58.840 --> 00:19:59.920
Look at you whole.

285
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:02.400
Healthy and healed, even getting the lingo down.

286
00:20:02.400 --> 00:20:04.200
Oh my goodness, I love it.

287
00:20:04.200 --> 00:20:06.600
All right, we have one more Christopher on the scene.

288
00:20:06.600 --> 00:20:11.060
Can you unmute and tell us how you are doing a high-low?

289
00:20:12.520 --> 00:20:13.360
Am I on mute?

290
00:20:13.360 --> 00:20:14.640
Oh, geez, how long have I been unmuted?

291
00:20:14.640 --> 00:20:15.920
I'm sorry if I've been coughing now.

292
00:20:15.920 --> 00:20:16.760
No, no, no, no, no.

293
00:20:16.760 --> 00:20:18.360
I said unmute to yourself.

294
00:20:18.360 --> 00:20:19.480
No, no, you were fine.

295
00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:21.960
I just told you to unmute, you're good.

296
00:20:21.960 --> 00:20:26.920
Yeah, low, high, was talking to,

297
00:20:26.920 --> 00:20:29.560
talking to and quote, unquote, dating a girl.

298
00:20:29.600 --> 00:20:31.200
She doesn't want to see me anymore.

299
00:20:31.200 --> 00:20:33.040
So that's cool.

300
00:20:33.040 --> 00:20:34.760
Did he give you a reason?

301
00:20:34.760 --> 00:20:36.280
Distance.

302
00:20:36.280 --> 00:20:38.520
Okay, how far away were y'all?

303
00:20:38.520 --> 00:20:39.680
Four hours.

304
00:20:39.680 --> 00:20:41.320
Yeah, that's hard.

305
00:20:44.400 --> 00:20:47.440
Sorry, we're all sorry for you.

306
00:20:47.440 --> 00:20:48.680
Yeah, someone's gotta be.

307
00:20:51.400 --> 00:20:55.800
I don't know, I don't have very many highs these days.

308
00:20:55.800 --> 00:20:57.920
I'm just kind of keeping my eyes

309
00:20:57.960 --> 00:20:59.800
to the things that make me happy.

310
00:20:59.800 --> 00:21:01.840
So I'm just, I have shows coming up.

311
00:21:01.840 --> 00:21:05.080
So I'm just going from convention to convention.

312
00:21:06.200 --> 00:21:08.080
Remind me what you do at the shows.

313
00:21:09.520 --> 00:21:11.480
Well, I'll either just go as an attendee

314
00:21:11.480 --> 00:21:13.040
or I'll go as an exhibitor.

315
00:21:14.080 --> 00:21:16.680
Certain shows I run video games for.

316
00:21:16.680 --> 00:21:18.240
Video games, okay.

317
00:21:19.240 --> 00:21:22.400
Wow, do you have a good circle of friends,

318
00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:23.480
like guy friends?

319
00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:27.240
I have a decent circle of friends

320
00:21:27.280 --> 00:21:30.560
that I see out of our weekly Bible study.

321
00:21:31.800 --> 00:21:33.320
It's getting a little tougher

322
00:21:33.320 --> 00:21:35.960
because a lot of them are getting engaged.

323
00:21:35.960 --> 00:21:39.960
So that's getting progressively harder

324
00:21:39.960 --> 00:21:43.280
to get necessary support out of them

325
00:21:43.280 --> 00:21:44.800
without getting discouragement.

326
00:21:44.800 --> 00:21:46.800
Yeah, it's hard you guys.

327
00:21:46.800 --> 00:21:50.160
It's hard when you are in a season

328
00:21:50.160 --> 00:21:52.840
where the people around you are all getting married

329
00:21:52.840 --> 00:21:54.400
and you are not one of them.

330
00:21:54.600 --> 00:21:58.680
And obviously I got married at 57.

331
00:21:58.680 --> 00:22:00.760
So I went through a lot of those seasons

332
00:22:00.760 --> 00:22:02.520
where people were getting married,

333
00:22:02.520 --> 00:22:03.960
people were having babies.

334
00:22:03.960 --> 00:22:06.240
And so like, I kind of had to,

335
00:22:06.240 --> 00:22:08.840
I call it compounded grief

336
00:22:08.840 --> 00:22:12.800
because when you're single longer,

337
00:22:12.800 --> 00:22:15.040
like longer than just a year or two,

338
00:22:15.040 --> 00:22:17.400
you know, and you're doing it in your twenties

339
00:22:17.400 --> 00:22:19.400
and you're doing it in your thirties,

340
00:22:19.400 --> 00:22:21.960
you're gonna experience different seasons

341
00:22:21.960 --> 00:22:23.480
of that singleness.

342
00:22:23.520 --> 00:22:26.960
And some of it is where people are getting married

343
00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:30.040
and some of it is when they're starting to have children.

344
00:22:30.040 --> 00:22:33.680
And so just give yourself some grace in that time,

345
00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:36.640
knowing that that happens, that it's normal.

346
00:22:38.800 --> 00:22:41.520
I'm gonna ask you, all right, let me go around.

347
00:22:41.520 --> 00:22:45.840
Are you guys faithful to the Supernatural Saturday calls?

348
00:22:45.840 --> 00:22:49.360
Do you watch them and replay?

349
00:22:49.360 --> 00:22:51.840
Do you almost catch them?

350
00:22:52.600 --> 00:22:54.680
I mean, I'm going somewhere with this.

351
00:22:54.680 --> 00:22:56.840
So you don't have to go in a certain order,

352
00:22:56.840 --> 00:22:59.760
just spitball out and tell me

353
00:22:59.760 --> 00:23:03.120
how faithful to Supernatural Saturday you are.

354
00:23:06.640 --> 00:23:08.520
I'd say I watch at least once a month.

355
00:23:08.520 --> 00:23:09.360
At least once a month,

356
00:23:09.360 --> 00:23:11.480
I try to clock in on one of them, replay.

357
00:23:11.480 --> 00:23:13.160
Okay. On one and a half speed.

358
00:23:13.160 --> 00:23:14.240
Not at all.

359
00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:15.840
I'm busy catching up on sleep.

360
00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:18.520
Christopher, you said that?

361
00:23:19.400 --> 00:23:21.600
Yeah, I'm usually sleeping during,

362
00:23:21.600 --> 00:23:24.080
and when I wake up, it doesn't take me long

363
00:23:24.080 --> 00:23:26.880
to get from sleep to something I have to do.

364
00:23:26.880 --> 00:23:30.640
So here's, okay, keep going, keep going.

365
00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:32.880
The other Christopher, what were you gonna say?

366
00:23:34.480 --> 00:23:36.840
I was just admitting I have yet to see one.

367
00:23:36.840 --> 00:23:39.120
I did go to one of those Sunday activations

368
00:23:39.120 --> 00:23:40.760
and I realized, oh, I should have gone on Saturday

369
00:23:40.760 --> 00:23:43.280
because this is very heavy into that.

370
00:23:43.280 --> 00:23:44.920
Yeah, yeah.

371
00:23:44.920 --> 00:23:47.680
How about you, David, Mike, Anthony?

372
00:23:48.760 --> 00:23:51.600
I mean, Mike and Andy and Daniel.

373
00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:55.760
I unfortunately haven't been making it to them,

374
00:23:55.760 --> 00:24:00.080
but I do catch them like once in a while,

375
00:24:00.080 --> 00:24:03.080
but I haven't been catching them like that often,

376
00:24:03.080 --> 00:24:04.080
I guess lately.

377
00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:08.320
I got a couple lately.

378
00:24:08.320 --> 00:24:11.360
I just haven't been, I'm not doing long distance dating.

379
00:24:11.360 --> 00:24:14.440
So I was like, I mean, it is encouraging,

380
00:24:14.440 --> 00:24:16.720
but at the same time, like my life's insane.

381
00:24:16.720 --> 00:24:19.120
I'm spending, I do a lot of ministry

382
00:24:19.120 --> 00:24:20.280
on Saturdays and stuff.

383
00:24:20.280 --> 00:24:24.000
So, well that, and that's actually my gym time.

384
00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:27.360
So, oh shoot, I have a meeting.

385
00:24:27.360 --> 00:24:30.120
Speaking of ministries, but like-

386
00:24:30.120 --> 00:24:33.320
No, go in the gym, then you can get the gym pick.

387
00:24:33.320 --> 00:24:35.320
You know, yeah, yeah, that's so funny.

388
00:24:35.320 --> 00:24:36.720
Now there's plenty of people who wanna pick me up

389
00:24:36.720 --> 00:24:41.200
at the gym, but that's a problem.

390
00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:43.400
Like, yeah, anyways.

391
00:24:44.680 --> 00:24:46.120
Well, here's what I can say, you guys.

392
00:24:46.480 --> 00:24:49.680
I know Saturday morning is not an easy time,

393
00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:53.120
but I'm a big fan of listening to them in replay.

394
00:24:53.120 --> 00:24:55.680
I don't watch them, I just listen to them in replay.

395
00:24:55.680 --> 00:24:57.760
And like Abram, I listened to them

396
00:24:57.760 --> 00:24:59.840
at one and a half speed sometimes too.

397
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.960
And, you know, I know this may sound awful, but sometimes I will listen to them to go

398
00:25:06.960 --> 00:25:08.260
to bed.

399
00:25:08.260 --> 00:25:14.560
And like, I always fall asleep like halfway through it, but I'm a big believer that God's

400
00:25:14.560 --> 00:25:16.400
word continues.

401
00:25:16.400 --> 00:25:22.400
And so if Jackie's kind of speaking, you know, health and healing over you, even as your

402
00:25:22.400 --> 00:25:27.640
body falls asleep, I actually believe it's still food for your soul.

403
00:25:27.640 --> 00:25:34.400
And so if you guys cannot listen on either Faith Friday or Supernatural...

404
00:25:34.400 --> 00:25:39.000
I know they don't record Faith Friday, but I know they record Supernatural Saturday.

405
00:25:39.000 --> 00:25:42.920
So when you think about it, if you're watching it at one and a half speed or listening to

406
00:25:42.920 --> 00:25:48.640
it at one and a half speed, you're talking about maybe it taking 40 minutes.

407
00:25:48.640 --> 00:25:51.200
And it's something you can do when you're at the gym.

408
00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:54.520
It's something you can do when you're in the car, and it's something you can do to help

409
00:25:54.520 --> 00:25:56.400
you fall asleep at night.

410
00:25:56.400 --> 00:26:03.640
So I would argue if you're feeling any discouragement, that's a great thing to listen to, as opposed

411
00:26:03.640 --> 00:26:07.040
to just scrolling, you know.

412
00:26:07.040 --> 00:26:08.040
You got your hand raised.

413
00:26:08.040 --> 00:26:09.040
Go ahead, Mike.

414
00:26:09.040 --> 00:26:13.640
Well, I just wanted to encourage you because I don't know the last time we were on a call

415
00:26:13.640 --> 00:26:19.520
together, you're like, you know, Mike, I think your wife's like an hour and a half away.

416
00:26:19.520 --> 00:26:25.440
And I'm like, well, son of a gun, that sucks.

417
00:26:25.480 --> 00:26:29.040
So, but I felt the Lord on it.

418
00:26:29.040 --> 00:26:36.560
And so, I mean, I had an amazing date until she was a, what was your term, crazy lefty?

419
00:26:36.560 --> 00:26:39.480
Oh, Abram, crazy lefty.

420
00:26:39.480 --> 00:26:43.680
Well, because I mean, like literally you mentioned Trump and the date was over, even though we

421
00:26:43.680 --> 00:26:47.480
were like stupid compatible, you know.

422
00:26:47.480 --> 00:26:51.840
But I just want to encourage you, like, because I was listening and that word resonated, I've

423
00:26:51.840 --> 00:26:53.760
been on the apps and I've been on several dates.

424
00:26:53.760 --> 00:26:54.760
Nice.

425
00:26:55.320 --> 00:26:59.920
You know, I mean, I had this question and this is something that happens.

426
00:26:59.920 --> 00:27:03.640
I actually might actually apply to a bunch of other guys on here, too, because of the

427
00:27:03.640 --> 00:27:04.640
age.

428
00:27:04.640 --> 00:27:07.280
So like right now I have a 44 year old gal, right?

429
00:27:07.280 --> 00:27:09.600
She's like, she wants kids.

430
00:27:09.600 --> 00:27:13.480
And so I don't even usually touch those, right?

431
00:27:13.480 --> 00:27:15.280
Should I be?

432
00:27:15.280 --> 00:27:16.920
Do you want kids at all?

433
00:27:16.920 --> 00:27:18.480
I can't have kids, any more kids.

434
00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:19.480
I'm done.

435
00:27:19.480 --> 00:27:20.480
So.

436
00:27:20.480 --> 00:27:21.480
Let her go, bro.

437
00:27:21.480 --> 00:27:22.480
Let her go.

438
00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:23.480
No, no.

439
00:27:23.480 --> 00:27:24.480
So that's my thought.

440
00:27:25.200 --> 00:27:29.520
I just want to make sure that like, if she's if it's a deal breaker for her, it really

441
00:27:29.520 --> 00:27:30.520
you have to find out.

442
00:27:30.520 --> 00:27:39.480
I don't I don't even swipe on those and that's why I'm asking the question, right?

443
00:27:39.480 --> 00:27:42.040
I would say.

444
00:27:42.040 --> 00:27:44.320
I would say this.

445
00:27:44.320 --> 00:27:48.760
There is a difference between it being a deal breaker and a preference.

446
00:27:48.760 --> 00:27:54.360
My preference would have been to be with somebody whose kids were still living at home

447
00:27:54.360 --> 00:27:59.160
so that I could get some of that bonus mom time.

448
00:27:59.160 --> 00:28:01.440
And that would have been my preference.

449
00:28:01.440 --> 00:28:08.560
Brian's kids are late 20s, so that and they're three and a half hours away and or states

450
00:28:08.560 --> 00:28:11.000
away and or countries away.

451
00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:13.600
So that was a preference of mine.

452
00:28:13.600 --> 00:28:16.240
It wasn't a deal breaker.

453
00:28:16.240 --> 00:28:21.240
And so someone in their mid 40s, it may be a preference, it may be a choice.

454
00:28:21.240 --> 00:28:28.120
And you can and and here's if they if they swipe on you and you have that first exchange,

455
00:28:28.120 --> 00:28:34.040
you can ask it right up front like, hey, I noticed that you you mentioned that you want

456
00:28:34.040 --> 00:28:35.040
to have kids.

457
00:28:35.040 --> 00:28:40.160
You know, I'm kind of out of that season and that's that's not happening for me.

458
00:28:40.160 --> 00:28:44.080
So if that's a deal breaker for you, then I do that.

459
00:28:44.080 --> 00:28:45.080
I do that all the time.

460
00:28:45.080 --> 00:28:46.080
Yeah.

461
00:28:46.920 --> 00:28:49.960
So but I just wanted to make sure that like.

462
00:28:49.960 --> 00:28:55.080
You know, like should I you know, so anyways, but because there's a lot that's one of my

463
00:28:55.080 --> 00:28:56.560
biggest things is most.

464
00:28:56.560 --> 00:29:00.320
And I forget how old are you?

465
00:29:00.320 --> 00:29:01.320
You're 50.

466
00:29:01.320 --> 00:29:02.320
I just turned 50.

467
00:29:02.320 --> 00:29:03.320
I turned 50.

468
00:29:03.320 --> 00:29:05.880
Yeah, you just turned 50 in August.

469
00:29:05.880 --> 00:29:12.080
I will say if you are you OK if she well, you've got kids, so you're OK if she's got

470
00:29:12.080 --> 00:29:13.080
kids, too.

471
00:29:13.080 --> 00:29:14.080
And no, I do.

472
00:29:14.080 --> 00:29:15.080
I do.

473
00:29:15.080 --> 00:29:16.080
And she's got a Brady Bunch.

474
00:29:16.080 --> 00:29:17.080
I don't freaking care.

475
00:29:17.080 --> 00:29:18.080
Yeah.

476
00:29:18.080 --> 00:29:19.080
It is.

477
00:29:19.080 --> 00:29:20.660
Well, it is probably.

478
00:29:20.660 --> 00:29:30.220
You might find women ages 50 to 53 are going to be less wanting to get pregnant because

479
00:29:30.220 --> 00:29:32.960
chances are pretty low, you know.

480
00:29:32.960 --> 00:29:36.020
Actually, forty eight to fifty three.

481
00:29:36.020 --> 00:29:37.720
It's going to start to go down.

482
00:29:37.720 --> 00:29:41.020
Like, her success rate to get pregnant is a lot lower.

483
00:29:41.020 --> 00:29:49.160
So in that 48 to 53, my suspicion is it might be a nice to have, but not need to have, especially

484
00:29:49.160 --> 00:29:54.320
if she feels like she could be able to interact with your kids and or your grandkids once

485
00:29:54.320 --> 00:29:55.320
they come.

486
00:29:55.320 --> 00:29:56.320
All right.

487
00:29:56.320 --> 00:29:57.320
Cool.

488
00:29:57.320 --> 00:29:58.320
Thank you.

489
00:29:58.320 --> 00:29:59.320
Yeah.

490
00:29:59.320 --> 00:29:59.320


491
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.400
I mean, you just never know with somebody.

492
00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:05.840
I kind of feel like you just never know.

493
00:30:05.840 --> 00:30:13.420
I feel like when you're looking at an app, they have to have...for you to swipe on them,

494
00:30:13.420 --> 00:30:18.360
they should probably have about 75% of what you're looking for.

495
00:30:18.360 --> 00:30:22.160
The other 25% might be in question based on what they wrote.

496
00:30:22.160 --> 00:30:27.280
You're not quite sure, they didn't mention it at all, but that's what you can find out

497
00:30:27.280 --> 00:30:34.640
in a very, you know, quick exchange and or a quick video date, especially you just, you

498
00:30:34.640 --> 00:30:35.640
never know.

499
00:30:35.640 --> 00:30:40.120
Like, you know, you just never know.

500
00:30:40.120 --> 00:30:42.000
But that's a good question.

501
00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:46.720
Where else are you guys feeling any kind of roadblocks in the dating?

502
00:30:46.720 --> 00:30:49.080
Like are you guys online?

503
00:30:49.080 --> 00:30:51.080
Are you doing meetup groups?

504
00:30:51.080 --> 00:30:56.280
Are you like, would you say you're giving it energy?

505
00:30:56.280 --> 00:31:01.520
Like because let's face it, most of us, like Jackie met her and married her next door neighbor.

506
00:31:01.520 --> 00:31:03.120
That doesn't happen for most of us.

507
00:31:03.120 --> 00:31:06.160
For most of us, we kind of have to put ourself out there.

508
00:31:06.160 --> 00:31:10.400
So if you're putting zero time into getting to know somebody, you're probably going to

509
00:31:10.400 --> 00:31:12.600
get zero results.

510
00:31:12.600 --> 00:31:17.680
And so anything else roadblocking y'all?

511
00:31:18.680 --> 00:31:25.000
Rene, just to finish the last question, like I probably only missed like one or two Supernatural

512
00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:31.080
Saturdays or last year, like live and one of them was real recent and I watched the

513
00:31:31.080 --> 00:31:32.080
replay on that.

514
00:31:32.080 --> 00:31:33.080
So yeah.

515
00:31:33.080 --> 00:31:35.440
Do you find that it helps?

516
00:31:35.440 --> 00:31:38.160
It helps keep the momentum going for me.

517
00:31:38.160 --> 00:31:41.160
But like I rarely missed a men's call either.

518
00:31:41.160 --> 00:31:46.920
So as long as everyone in this group, as long as everyone's at least able to do one, one

519
00:31:46.920 --> 00:31:50.200
of those two for a week, that's a good place to be at least.

520
00:31:50.200 --> 00:31:51.200
So yeah.

521
00:31:51.200 --> 00:31:52.200
Yeah.

522
00:31:52.200 --> 00:31:56.240
Or, or Sunday nights or whatever it happens to be that fits the schedule best.

523
00:31:56.240 --> 00:31:57.240
Yeah.

524
00:31:57.240 --> 00:32:02.280
I will say too, ladies, there are about 90 people that come on, especially when I do

525
00:32:02.280 --> 00:32:03.280
the dating calls.

526
00:32:03.280 --> 00:32:08.320
Like I did two in the month of April.

527
00:32:08.320 --> 00:32:09.480
They're super fun.

528
00:32:09.480 --> 00:32:13.120
I let people come on camera, ask them questions.

529
00:32:13.120 --> 00:32:19.600
By the way, Christopher, you did so good on that speed dating with me.

530
00:32:19.600 --> 00:32:23.520
That's the funny part is that actually one of the women that I had actually met her on

531
00:32:23.520 --> 00:32:28.600
Holy and we connected, but she was on that call and she didn't recognize me.

532
00:32:28.600 --> 00:32:32.200
I messaged her on Holy and I said, you know, we're both in last year's single.

533
00:32:32.200 --> 00:32:36.520
So we went on a date last night or a meetup.

534
00:32:36.520 --> 00:32:37.520
It was good.

535
00:32:38.040 --> 00:32:39.360
She's a little bit out of my preferences.

536
00:32:39.360 --> 00:32:44.680
I mean, she's 46, which I, I, which is on the older end.

537
00:32:44.680 --> 00:32:47.840
But she's yeah, she's, she's cool.

538
00:32:47.840 --> 00:32:49.640
We're going, we're definitely going out again.

539
00:32:49.640 --> 00:32:53.760
So yeah, we're we had fun.

540
00:32:53.760 --> 00:32:54.760
I won't know.

541
00:32:54.760 --> 00:32:55.760
There's so many women.

542
00:32:55.760 --> 00:33:00.240
I don't know who they all are, but I'm just curious if I know who she is.

543
00:33:00.240 --> 00:33:01.240
You want me to say it?

544
00:33:01.240 --> 00:33:02.240
I do.

545
00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:03.240
Well, wait, hold on a second.

546
00:33:03.240 --> 00:33:04.240
Hold on.

547
00:33:04.440 --> 00:33:07.440
Wait, how do I stop?

548
00:33:07.440 --> 00:33:09.440
Wait, where's the pause?

549
00:33:09.440 --> 00:33:10.440
That's a great question.

550
00:33:10.440 --> 00:33:11.440
Hold on.

551
00:33:11.440 --> 00:33:12.440
Okay.

552
00:33:12.440 --> 00:33:17.440
We took a minor little break there, but we're back.

553
00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:24.440
So the question on the table that someone presented is sometimes when you're chatting

554
00:33:24.440 --> 00:33:29.040
and the conversation just starts to get super serious, how do you bring it up from out from

555
00:33:29.040 --> 00:33:30.280
underneath of that?

556
00:33:30.280 --> 00:33:33.800
And so what I always like to say to people, this is why we shouldn't text for very long

557
00:33:34.360 --> 00:33:35.640
because you just can't help yourself.

558
00:33:35.640 --> 00:33:38.920
You just start digging for more and more and more information.

559
00:33:38.920 --> 00:33:43.640
So all of the texting that you're trying to do and you guys, that's how I feel about texting

560
00:33:43.640 --> 00:33:44.680
in general.

561
00:33:44.680 --> 00:33:50.120
I think that texting secures a live date and then after that texting should just be confirmation

562
00:33:50.120 --> 00:33:51.120
only.

563
00:33:51.120 --> 00:33:52.120
You guys should not.

564
00:33:52.120 --> 00:33:58.120
I do not recommend at all dating somebody through texting like I feel like so much can

565
00:33:58.120 --> 00:33:59.120
be missed.

566
00:33:59.120 --> 00:34:05.160
I would rather you guys go out on actual live dates with her and pick fun things to do.

567
00:34:05.160 --> 00:34:11.880
You know, go bowling, go play Frisbee, go pick a ball, go to an art studio, go grab

568
00:34:11.880 --> 00:34:14.679
coffee and just go walk down main street.

569
00:34:14.679 --> 00:34:16.960
Everybody's got a main street.

570
00:34:16.960 --> 00:34:24.000
Go to, you know, go throw a Frisbee around, bring out literally like childhood board games

571
00:34:24.000 --> 00:34:26.080
like Sari and Uno.

572
00:34:26.080 --> 00:34:29.120
Like try to have fun things to do.

573
00:34:29.120 --> 00:34:32.080
Go to the gym together.

574
00:34:32.080 --> 00:34:40.520
You know, try to like one thing I've heard that people do, which is hilarious, is you

575
00:34:40.520 --> 00:34:46.040
both go to like a Goodwill and you each pick out an outfit for each other and then you

576
00:34:46.040 --> 00:34:49.560
both have to change into that outfit and wear that outfit on the date or something like

577
00:34:49.560 --> 00:34:51.000
super fun.

578
00:34:51.000 --> 00:34:56.199
So I feel like trying to do as much fun stuff as possible with them.

579
00:34:56.199 --> 00:35:00.000
And of course, whenever the conversation gets too deep and it is.

580
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:07.240
okay to put up the hand and just say, you know what, I'm actually working with a, you

581
00:35:07.240 --> 00:35:09.120
know, I'm actually in a discipleship.

582
00:35:09.120 --> 00:35:12.600
If you don't want to say you're working with a dating coach, because I will be honest with

583
00:35:12.600 --> 00:35:13.920
you, I did not say that.

584
00:35:13.920 --> 00:35:17.880
I said, I'm part of an online singles community.

585
00:35:17.880 --> 00:35:22.720
And one of the things that we talk about is how to date healthy in this day and age, especially

586
00:35:22.720 --> 00:35:24.800
with a lot of swiping.

587
00:35:24.800 --> 00:35:29.720
And what, you know, we're really encouraged to do is in these first few interactions,

588
00:35:29.720 --> 00:35:34.080
keep the conversation very present day and where you're, you know, kind of like where

589
00:35:34.080 --> 00:35:36.640
you're going in the early future.

590
00:35:36.640 --> 00:35:42.040
Have the dates be simple and be fun just to see if we even like hanging out with each

591
00:35:42.040 --> 00:35:43.040
other.

592
00:35:43.040 --> 00:35:46.800
Before we start to ask, there's plenty of time and opportunity to ask the really heavy

593
00:35:46.800 --> 00:35:47.800
stuff.

594
00:35:47.800 --> 00:35:53.400
I would argue if you find a girl that's insisting on the heavy, hard stuff right away, she's

595
00:35:53.400 --> 00:35:55.840
probably got some unhealed wounds.

596
00:35:55.840 --> 00:35:59.260
And you know, you can just be like, there isn't going to be a time for that.

597
00:35:59.300 --> 00:36:02.060
This is not the time for that.

598
00:36:02.060 --> 00:36:06.700
I also think some of those silly dating questions that I asked a lot of you guys on the single

599
00:36:06.700 --> 00:36:09.060
spotlight, it's okay to have them ready.

600
00:36:09.060 --> 00:36:15.180
And one of the one-on-one coaching I did, I gave him like 20 questions to like ask.

601
00:36:15.180 --> 00:36:18.740
And he just now has them printed out kind of in his back pocket.

602
00:36:18.740 --> 00:36:22.740
I've actually taken those tabletop questions on dates.

603
00:36:22.740 --> 00:36:27.740
So if I ever feel like the conversation's getting heavy, I've already pre-looked at

604
00:36:27.740 --> 00:36:29.820
that and I have like 10 fun questions.

605
00:36:29.820 --> 00:36:35.620
They're fun, but you still learn about somebody kind of questions.

606
00:36:35.620 --> 00:36:38.500
And just, so I think that's kind of how you have to do it.

607
00:36:38.500 --> 00:36:44.340
It is much harder to manage that when you're just texting.

608
00:36:44.340 --> 00:36:49.340
I think it's even harder and it's interesting because one of the women said the same thing,

609
00:36:49.340 --> 00:36:54.220
Mike, but it happened to her where she went from the texting to a phone call instead of

610
00:36:54.220 --> 00:36:55.220
a video date.

611
00:36:55.700 --> 00:36:57.580
And he just started vomiting all his stuff.

612
00:36:57.580 --> 00:37:03.540
And it's a lot harder to stop somebody in the middle of their vomit when they're just

613
00:37:03.540 --> 00:37:08.940
on the phone because you can't do a verbal, like you can't do a visual stop.

614
00:37:08.940 --> 00:37:09.940
Like you know what I'm saying?

615
00:37:09.940 --> 00:37:13.820
Like you're trying to find a spot in their sentence where they catch your breath.

616
00:37:13.820 --> 00:37:16.380
And if they don't, they can just ramble.

617
00:37:16.380 --> 00:37:22.140
And so that's why I personally don't recommend phone calls right away because you really

618
00:37:22.140 --> 00:37:28.420
can't manage the tempo and the content as easily because it could just turn into a runaway

619
00:37:28.420 --> 00:37:29.540
train.

620
00:37:29.540 --> 00:37:33.140
So that's how I feel like you can get out from underneath of it and just like literally

621
00:37:33.140 --> 00:37:36.420
I need to interrupt for just a hot minute.

622
00:37:36.420 --> 00:37:37.420
I just need to interrupt.

623
00:37:37.420 --> 00:37:41.540
Sometimes you just have to say, I just need to interrupt.

624
00:37:41.540 --> 00:37:44.740
I'm glad you said that because like the next date that I'm going on with the one I just

625
00:37:44.740 --> 00:37:50.180
went on is I do want to just like get a board game and sit down and coffee and just play.

626
00:37:50.220 --> 00:37:51.420
And that was my idea.

627
00:37:51.420 --> 00:37:53.060
And I'm so glad you confirmed that.

628
00:37:53.060 --> 00:37:54.060
Yeah.

629
00:37:54.060 --> 00:37:58.980
I mean literally and make it like a dumb game, like something that you can just both be silly

630
00:37:58.980 --> 00:38:00.340
and childlike with it.

631
00:38:00.340 --> 00:38:05.180
It doesn't have to be like, I don't know, I used to date one of those guys that did

632
00:38:05.180 --> 00:38:06.580
the Dungeons and Dragons.

633
00:38:06.580 --> 00:38:12.740
And so the games he would do, I'm like, that's just way too much brainpower for me.

634
00:38:12.740 --> 00:38:15.020
You know, you can bring a finger painting thing.

635
00:38:15.020 --> 00:38:20.020
Like there's so many creative, silly dates that you can do.

636
00:38:20.860 --> 00:38:26.300
Somebody has suggested you like date the alphabet and it's like, all right, it's a B tonight.

637
00:38:26.300 --> 00:38:29.860
What can we do that starts with a B and they get to, you know, you can go to the batting

638
00:38:29.860 --> 00:38:30.860
cage.

639
00:38:30.860 --> 00:38:31.860
It doesn't have to be bowling.

640
00:38:31.860 --> 00:38:32.860
You can go to the batting cage.

641
00:38:32.860 --> 00:38:34.900
So I think it's super fun to do.

642
00:38:34.900 --> 00:38:40.020
I also have another girlfriend who just did, and I'm amazed they did this.

643
00:38:40.020 --> 00:38:42.940
I would never go in with just one other person.

644
00:38:42.940 --> 00:38:47.100
They did an escape game, you know, where you go in and you have to try to get, you try

645
00:38:47.100 --> 00:38:49.900
to get out of the locked room with all this stuff.

646
00:38:49.900 --> 00:38:56.340
I did the escape game with my ex's children and there was like four of us, four or five

647
00:38:56.340 --> 00:38:57.340
of us.

648
00:38:57.340 --> 00:39:00.780
And it took all four or five of us to work together to get out of that room.

649
00:39:00.780 --> 00:39:02.260
I couldn't imagine.

650
00:39:02.260 --> 00:39:03.260
I don't know.

651
00:39:03.260 --> 00:39:07.900
I'm pretty sure I'd kill my poor husband if it were just the two of us, because I can

652
00:39:07.900 --> 00:39:09.940
be pretty terrible at that kind of game.

653
00:39:09.940 --> 00:39:12.900
And I'd be like wanting him to just figure it all out.

654
00:39:12.900 --> 00:39:14.460
Oh dear.

655
00:39:14.460 --> 00:39:17.580
That's my, that's my next one with another one.

656
00:39:17.580 --> 00:39:21.600
I think, here's why I think the escape game is great to do.

657
00:39:21.600 --> 00:39:26.660
You just may want to try to find another couple to come in with you to help it out.

658
00:39:26.660 --> 00:39:31.620
But here's why the escape game is great because you see how they are under pressure, you know,

659
00:39:31.620 --> 00:39:35.820
like it's a really great way to, to see how they handle.

660
00:39:35.820 --> 00:39:40.540
And if you lose, it's a really great way to see how they handle losing too.

661
00:39:40.540 --> 00:39:42.420
So I'm all for doing it.

662
00:39:42.420 --> 00:39:47.200
Like I promise you, Christopher, like if somebody, like if Brian had asked me to do that early

663
00:39:47.200 --> 00:39:52.360
on in our dating, I would have been on my best behavior.

664
00:39:52.360 --> 00:39:56.280
Now if I went with him, I'd be like, come on, Brian, come on, Brian, you're the smart

665
00:39:56.280 --> 00:39:57.280
one.

666
00:39:57.280 --> 00:39:58.280
You're the, you're MacGyver.

667
00:39:58.280 --> 00:39:59.920
Like you can fix everything.

668
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.440
So I did go to men's conference and I bumped into one of those ladies at my age who was

669
00:40:07.440 --> 00:40:14.160
help-serving and I managed to hold on and get a level two relationship and I sat with someone

670
00:40:14.160 --> 00:40:19.440
and some girl in church we sat next together and we just talked on the way and we got to

671
00:40:19.440 --> 00:40:24.960
and I figured you know what I try to judge way rather than had the pressure influence me

672
00:40:25.040 --> 00:40:29.680
I'd rather keep my own idea of just build relationships it's better than being isolated

673
00:40:29.680 --> 00:40:38.800
versus check their boundaries yeah yeah so it's basically level two yep um Daniel tell me about

674
00:40:38.800 --> 00:40:44.080
this how do you even pronounce it the high key game or high game what how do you how do you even

675
00:40:44.080 --> 00:40:51.440
say that uh pipe I believe it's high key so it's um it's just this game that has like a stack of

676
00:40:51.440 --> 00:40:56.480
cards it's got like three questions on it and I said that's like good for like icebreakers for

677
00:40:56.480 --> 00:41:03.760
like everything from small groups to get-togethers and people said it's good to test with dating

678
00:41:03.760 --> 00:41:08.240
cool I don't know why I'm struggling to come up with look what questions they got on there like

679
00:41:08.240 --> 00:41:15.760
whoa that's okay I think that's great I think that's awesome um you know take take somebody

680
00:41:15.760 --> 00:41:20.080
to a pottery you know when you go to a pottery thing and you paint something that gets into the

681
00:41:20.080 --> 00:41:25.200
kiln um there's just a lot of really cool things to do I mean you literally could even google

682
00:41:25.760 --> 00:41:33.520
you know give me 10 fun creative low-cost date ideas um so there's a lot of things to do besides

683
00:41:33.520 --> 00:41:40.400
just going out for coffee or glass of wine or dinner um I do love the walking around something

684
00:41:40.400 --> 00:41:48.400
in nature my very first in-person date with Brian we met at the it's called bicentennial mall or

685
00:41:48.400 --> 00:41:53.840
centennial mall and it's like a mile loop around the park well our version of the Parthenon

686
00:41:54.560 --> 00:42:01.920
um what we didn't know was it was the first nice day of spring and like 5,000 people were at

687
00:42:02.560 --> 00:42:09.280
at the park when we got there and uh but it was fun like I had a blanket ready and I think I did

688
00:42:09.280 --> 00:42:16.960
have like a game ready just in case we kind of stalled on the conversation um so I feel like

689
00:42:17.040 --> 00:42:24.000
that's what you kind of want to do is see if you enjoy their time but you know it's definitely

690
00:42:24.960 --> 00:42:30.480
something I think we can all fall into to start getting too serious too fast and I think we do

691
00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:33.760
it because we just want to make sure like oh my gosh are they healed from their marriage why did

692
00:42:33.760 --> 00:42:40.080
they get divorced like you know why are they still single you know and so we it's we just we we're

693
00:42:40.080 --> 00:42:46.000
such curious people we just want to know that stuff but I think what I've learned is this is

694
00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:54.960
this is the visual I'm going to give you guys a visual so it's like see all these little beads

695
00:42:54.960 --> 00:43:02.320
here so like every fun thing you learn about somebody you're making healthy deposits and as

696
00:43:02.320 --> 00:43:07.120
you get to know her you're like oh my gosh I learned this too oh my gosh we have this in

697
00:43:07.120 --> 00:43:11.920
common oh my gosh we have this in common well I really like that that really balances with

698
00:43:11.920 --> 00:43:19.360
my personality so what starts to happen is you collect all these marbles right and so then when

699
00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:24.240
she starts to tell you you start to see a habit in her that you really don't like you're like

700
00:43:24.240 --> 00:43:28.880
I really don't like that you've got this huge amount of deposit already so you kind of toss

701
00:43:28.880 --> 00:43:36.480
one in all right and you found out that she you know her divorce went really bad and they fought

702
00:43:36.480 --> 00:43:41.600
for custody okay you might lose a couple more things maybe you find out she has an attachment

703
00:43:41.760 --> 00:43:47.040
issue because she's got daddy issues you lose a couple more but hopefully by then you started

704
00:43:47.040 --> 00:43:53.360
doing more nice things so you started building it back up that's why though when you start out

705
00:43:53.360 --> 00:43:59.280
and you only have maybe one or two and the next thing you know they start vomiting all their stuff

706
00:44:00.080 --> 00:44:04.640
it's a depletion so it starts to take away from what you're building with her

707
00:44:05.200 --> 00:44:10.080
and that's why you feel exhausted or drained after those dates because you didn't build enough

708
00:44:10.080 --> 00:44:16.320
good stuff first and I didn't think that that was a thing until it kind of happened to me there was

709
00:44:16.320 --> 00:44:24.800
this really nice guy that I got matched with a few years ago and I really think if he was willing to

710
00:44:24.800 --> 00:44:31.760
pace himself and add some good deposits with me you know it might have gone a different way

711
00:44:31.760 --> 00:44:37.040
because he seemed like a really nice guy but way too fast like I was stupid you guys I asked

712
00:44:38.000 --> 00:44:42.480
I don't know how we got on the subject of going hunting but it's Tennessee so a lot of the men

713
00:44:42.480 --> 00:44:50.320
here hunt and he's like oh I only do bow and arrow and I was like oh why didn't think that was a hard

714
00:44:50.320 --> 00:44:58.800
question and he goes well because I can't have a gun I'm like ignorant because I don't hunt

715
00:44:59.360 --> 00:45:00.000
Abram you know

716
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.500
or where this is going, don't you?

717
00:45:01.500 --> 00:45:03.600
I go, why can't you have a gun?

718
00:45:03.600 --> 00:45:06.300
And he's like, well, I was in jail.

719
00:45:07.100 --> 00:45:10.100
You can't have a gun.

720
00:45:11.300 --> 00:45:13.300
Oh, so that was good.

721
00:45:13.300 --> 00:45:14.500
Did you?

722
00:45:15.200 --> 00:45:17.060
OK, see, I was so naive.

723
00:45:17.060 --> 00:45:20.400
So that's a perfect example of I feel bad for him

724
00:45:20.400 --> 00:45:22.800
because I kind of walked him into that one.

725
00:45:23.160 --> 00:45:25.000
But he should have just stopped there, right?

726
00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:28.740
He could have been like, Renee, it was 15 years ago.

727
00:45:29.340 --> 00:45:33.000
It is not as bad as it probably sounds when it's appropriate.

728
00:45:33.200 --> 00:45:35.100
I'll be happy to tell you about it.

729
00:45:35.100 --> 00:45:38.480
No, he decides to unload the whole thing,

730
00:45:38.980 --> 00:45:41.940
which I think opened Pandora's box.

731
00:45:41.940 --> 00:45:47.600
And then I found out about his ADHD and his ADHD medication.

732
00:45:47.900 --> 00:45:49.840
His daughter's cutting herself.

733
00:45:49.840 --> 00:45:53.980
The issues he's having with his ex-wife, his financial woes.

734
00:45:54.200 --> 00:45:57.180
It just went it just tanked in about

735
00:45:57.980 --> 00:46:01.520
he was like up here and it just crashed and burned.

736
00:46:02.240 --> 00:46:07.520
And it just couldn't go anywhere because it just I remember thinking,

737
00:46:07.520 --> 00:46:10.420
oh, my gosh, this is way too much baggage. I can't do this.

738
00:46:10.880 --> 00:46:15.440
So that's what happens when we don't invest enough in the good stuff with somebody.

739
00:46:15.440 --> 00:46:18.540
So that's a lesson to you all that

740
00:46:19.420 --> 00:46:22.580
somebody will be able to bear your full story.

741
00:46:24.020 --> 00:46:26.820
They just can't bear it in the first few dates.

742
00:46:27.840 --> 00:46:29.280
It's just too much.

743
00:46:29.280 --> 00:46:33.880
So don't ever think that just because you shouldn't share it at the front end

744
00:46:33.880 --> 00:46:36.140
doesn't mean that you're not going to be safe to share it.

745
00:46:36.480 --> 00:46:38.780
Brian and I have now shared everything.

746
00:46:38.780 --> 00:46:41.840
And obviously, before we even talked about marriage,

747
00:46:42.480 --> 00:46:46.040
we shared a lot of the really like wounded stuff of our past.

748
00:46:47.540 --> 00:46:50.480
But by then, we had made so many positive investments

749
00:46:50.480 --> 00:46:52.680
that I was like, ah, that's no big deal.

750
00:46:52.680 --> 00:46:55.940
And I also was I also knew enough about him

751
00:46:55.940 --> 00:46:58.240
to know that he was really healed from it, too.

752
00:46:58.680 --> 00:47:02.640
Like I didn't have to wonder, well, is that still an issue for him?

753
00:47:02.820 --> 00:47:04.980
Like I watched him behave for three months.

754
00:47:04.980 --> 00:47:08.080
So I knew none of that was a residual.

755
00:47:08.280 --> 00:47:11.480
It was just a part of his story that he took to get to me.

756
00:47:12.480 --> 00:47:16.140
So see how we went on that little dovetail.

757
00:47:16.820 --> 00:47:20.440
All right. Any other good questions like that or things that you think

758
00:47:20.440 --> 00:47:23.080
now that you guys are getting out, they're not getting out there.

759
00:47:23.080 --> 00:47:27.440
Any other roadblocks that you're finding that you want to uncover?

760
00:47:28.200 --> 00:47:30.900
And by the way, if there are women in our community

761
00:47:30.900 --> 00:47:34.240
that you are trying to get in touch with, like David tried with me,

762
00:47:34.240 --> 00:47:37.540
and I'll be honest with you, I don't have like I'm not Facebook friends

763
00:47:37.540 --> 00:47:41.200
with most of the women because Jack actually doesn't want us to Facebook

764
00:47:41.340 --> 00:47:43.740
friend a lot of the women in the community or else

765
00:47:43.740 --> 00:47:46.200
they just kind of start bothering us in the DMs.

766
00:47:46.780 --> 00:47:49.580
So if you want to meet somebody and it's not obvious

767
00:47:49.580 --> 00:47:54.240
how to find them on Facebook, email Reagan at the admin email,

768
00:47:54.740 --> 00:47:58.180
and she will try to get a coordination going for you.

769
00:47:58.480 --> 00:48:03.180
I personally have wanted us to put the men and the women

770
00:48:03.180 --> 00:48:05.520
in one united group on the app

771
00:48:06.440 --> 00:48:09.940
for this very purpose so that you can more easily find each other.

772
00:48:11.440 --> 00:48:13.180
But I have been vetoed so far.

773
00:48:13.180 --> 00:48:18.020
So, you know, you know, if I get to get on the spotlight,

774
00:48:18.220 --> 00:48:20.980
I think another question I should have asked, like I should have asked

775
00:48:20.980 --> 00:48:24.460
when you try to replicate me is, do you like to buy anything in Amazon?

776
00:48:24.780 --> 00:48:26.720
A lot of ladies like that, like that question.

777
00:48:28.720 --> 00:48:31.060
Ladies like the Amazon question.

778
00:48:31.060 --> 00:48:35.020
If they like to buy anything on Amazon, because I got a good conversation

779
00:48:35.020 --> 00:48:36.220
about that going.

780
00:48:36.220 --> 00:48:37.180
That's interesting.

781
00:48:37.180 --> 00:48:38.180
I mean, I don't know.

782
00:48:38.180 --> 00:48:39.960
I buy way too much on Amazon.

783
00:48:39.960 --> 00:48:41.860
I do. Oh, my gosh.

784
00:48:41.860 --> 00:48:43.220
Like, I'm lazy.

785
00:48:43.220 --> 00:48:44.760
I hate shopping, y'all.

786
00:48:44.760 --> 00:48:45.780
Like, I hate shopping.

787
00:48:45.840 --> 00:48:47.280
I hate shopping.

788
00:48:47.280 --> 00:48:50.780
Like when I'm out of copy paper for my printer for school,

789
00:48:51.580 --> 00:48:54.980
I just order that on Amazon school supplies.

790
00:48:55.720 --> 00:48:58.520
All my books are on Kindle for school.

791
00:49:01.220 --> 00:49:04.780
Like Brian and I have talked about it, like we're both kind of bad.

792
00:49:04.780 --> 00:49:08.520
Like, I mean, stuff shows up from Amazon and I'm like, huh?

793
00:49:09.620 --> 00:49:11.120
I wonder what that is.

794
00:49:12.980 --> 00:49:15.420
And if you stay home and make sure you get your package,

795
00:49:15.420 --> 00:49:17.880
because I see that with all the customers.

796
00:49:17.880 --> 00:49:22.460
Well, you know, I mean, we Amazon has the code to get into our building.

797
00:49:22.460 --> 00:49:25.880
So 99% of the time my stuff comes right to my doorstep.

798
00:49:28.260 --> 00:49:31.380
And there's a fulfillment center right here, so I get stuff pretty quickly

799
00:49:31.380 --> 00:49:36.180
from Amazon, but and so, in fact, to the point, well, that's a sidebar.

800
00:49:36.420 --> 00:49:37.260
So we wouldn't even go there.

801
00:49:37.260 --> 00:49:38.420
Mike, you have your hand raised.

802
00:49:38.420 --> 00:49:39.460
Did you want to say something?

803
00:49:39.820 --> 00:49:42.260
So I saw that Jackie's starting up spotlights again.

804
00:49:43.800 --> 00:49:46.500
Right. I just wanted to like, hey, you guys be ready for spotlights.

805
00:49:46.820 --> 00:49:51.320
I don't have no idea when, how or what, but would you like to get spotlighted?

806
00:49:51.900 --> 00:49:52.900
Me? No.

807
00:49:56.020 --> 00:49:57.020
I'm sorry.

808
00:49:57.020 --> 00:49:58.020
I'm sorry.

809
00:49:58.020 --> 00:49:59.020
I'm sorry.

810
00:49:59.020 --> 00:50:00.020
I'm sorry.

811
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.960
Why not, Mike?

812
00:50:00.020 --> 00:50:01.020
I'm sorry.

813
00:50:01.020 --> 00:50:02.020
I'm sorry.

814
00:50:02.020 --> 00:50:03.020
I'm sorry.

815
00:50:02.960 --> 00:50:03.960
Why not?

816
00:50:03.020 --> 00:50:04.020
I'm sorry.

817
00:50:03.960 --> 00:50:04.960
Someone hiding in California.

818
00:50:04.020 --> 00:50:05.020
I'm sorry.

819
00:50:04.960 --> 00:50:05.960
It's gotta be.

820
00:50:05.020 --> 00:50:06.020
I'm sorry.

821
00:50:05.960 --> 00:50:12.920
Sorry, but I guess if it's in Redding, I guess I have Fresno now.

822
00:50:06.020 --> 00:50:07.020
I'm sorry.

823
00:50:07.020 --> 00:50:08.020
I'm sorry.

824
00:50:08.020 --> 00:50:09.020
I'm sorry.

825
00:50:12.920 --> 00:50:14.120
I can stay in Fresno.

826
00:50:14.120 --> 00:50:17.160
I can go from Fresno to Redding.

827
00:50:17.160 --> 00:50:22.600
I kind of exhausted the whole Redding thing, but no, I just was-

828
00:50:22.600 --> 00:50:27.760
I think it's hilarious that Mike has gone through all of the women in Redding.

829
00:50:27.760 --> 00:50:29.960
All of the single city women in Redding.

830
00:50:29.960 --> 00:50:31.960
I've been to like four or five of those.

831
00:50:31.960 --> 00:50:36.360
No, but the thing is her Instagram account has like 10,000 people in it.

832
00:50:36.360 --> 00:50:40.080
There's a lot of people in her Instagram account that aren't in Last Year Single.

833
00:50:40.080 --> 00:50:41.080
Oh, really?

834
00:50:41.080 --> 00:50:42.080
Okay.

835
00:50:42.080 --> 00:50:43.080
Oh, so.

836
00:50:43.080 --> 00:50:44.080
Oh, yeah.

837
00:50:44.080 --> 00:50:45.560
So she's doing it on Instagram now.

838
00:50:45.560 --> 00:50:52.840
I have your bios, so now that I know she's back to doing it, I'm going to send her everybody's

839
00:50:52.840 --> 00:50:59.000
bios, and unless you tell me not to, I'm going to encourage her to reach out to y'all

840
00:50:59.000 --> 00:51:00.000
to like-

841
00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:01.000
High pressure sales.

842
00:51:01.000 --> 00:51:02.000
So Jack, yes.

843
00:51:02.000 --> 00:51:03.000
Right?

844
00:51:03.000 --> 00:51:04.000
She's going to be like, why are you not dating?

845
00:51:04.000 --> 00:51:05.000
Why are you not-

846
00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:10.280
Well, I mean, because I feel like if she's out on Instagram, that's going to open you

847
00:51:10.280 --> 00:51:13.560
up to a whole new audience of women that are not in the community.

848
00:51:13.560 --> 00:51:14.560
Yeah.

849
00:51:14.560 --> 00:51:15.560
No, that makes sense.

850
00:51:15.560 --> 00:51:20.560
And so I may not be open to that, but I may be going on a date in Redding this weekend,

851
00:51:20.560 --> 00:51:21.560
so we'll see.

852
00:51:21.560 --> 00:51:22.560
Okay.

853
00:51:23.280 --> 00:51:27.160
Well, I mean, so I found somebody on, it wasn't through Last or Single, but you know,

854
00:51:27.160 --> 00:51:30.840
one of the things, and I don't know who talks to the coordinators, right?

855
00:51:30.840 --> 00:51:34.280
But I mean, straight up, I was in Redding, and they're like, why are you here?

856
00:51:34.280 --> 00:51:35.280
I'm like-

857
00:51:35.280 --> 00:51:39.680
What do you mean, why are you here where here?

858
00:51:39.680 --> 00:51:40.680
The single cities.

859
00:51:40.680 --> 00:51:41.680
I'm like, are you moving here?

860
00:51:41.680 --> 00:51:44.320
I'm like, no, I'm in the Bay Area.

861
00:51:44.320 --> 00:51:46.360
And they're like, and I was like, huh.

862
00:51:46.360 --> 00:51:49.320
Well, it's also the closest one to you.

863
00:51:49.320 --> 00:51:50.560
Which one would they want you to join?

864
00:51:50.560 --> 00:51:56.280
Well, I mean, San Francisco Bay Area one is closest, but that's new, and I know everybody

865
00:51:56.280 --> 00:52:02.080
in it, and there's not one person that I really want to get to know.

866
00:52:02.080 --> 00:52:04.600
Single city stuff, it's like not real.

867
00:52:04.600 --> 00:52:10.480
Like people add themselves, they're not responding back, there's very minimal.

868
00:52:10.480 --> 00:52:11.480
It's very bleak.

869
00:52:11.480 --> 00:52:20.400
I'm not trying to be negative, but I've already messaged like everybody that was in

870
00:52:21.240 --> 00:52:22.240
those single cities, and just, hey, hello, how are you doing?

871
00:52:22.240 --> 00:52:26.080
Just a really easy little touch, and then if they respond, they respond.

872
00:52:26.080 --> 00:52:28.240
But I've got zero contact feedback from-

873
00:52:28.240 --> 00:52:29.240
I know.

874
00:52:29.240 --> 00:52:30.840
I mean, I'm not going to lie.

875
00:52:30.840 --> 00:52:31.840
Just so you know.

876
00:52:31.840 --> 00:52:32.840
Just so you know.

877
00:52:32.840 --> 00:52:33.840
I'm not criticizing.

878
00:52:33.840 --> 00:52:34.840
No, no, no, no, no.

879
00:52:34.840 --> 00:52:36.840
I'm equally disappointed in it.

880
00:52:36.840 --> 00:52:43.240
I used to try to help do all of the Nashville events, and I was like, for all the people

881
00:52:43.240 --> 00:52:48.240
that are in here, people weren't engaging, people weren't coming to stuff.

882
00:52:48.240 --> 00:52:52.800
And so I'm kind of like, ugh.

883
00:52:52.800 --> 00:52:53.800
And so I think-

884
00:52:53.800 --> 00:52:54.800
It needs like a redo or something.

885
00:52:54.800 --> 00:52:55.800
Like a redo, restart, new page, something.

886
00:52:55.800 --> 00:52:58.320
Yeah, and so I will say this.

887
00:52:58.320 --> 00:53:04.760
I think that ... I'm not going to say it's going to go away.

888
00:53:04.760 --> 00:53:11.080
What I suggested, instead of having single cities, because people travel, they're on

889
00:53:11.080 --> 00:53:16.760
vacation and stuff, I think there should be one page.

890
00:53:16.760 --> 00:53:23.200
I go back to, it used to be single nation on Facebook, where it combines all the men

891
00:53:23.200 --> 00:53:24.320
and all the women.

892
00:53:24.320 --> 00:53:29.920
And so if there's an event going on in Macon, Georgia, somebody's going to say, hey, there's

893
00:53:29.920 --> 00:53:31.760
a bonfire going on.

894
00:53:31.760 --> 00:53:34.040
Does anybody want to come?

895
00:53:34.040 --> 00:53:40.200
And so that page, the only goal of that page is to talk about what's ... Now, it'd be a

896
00:53:40.200 --> 00:53:44.840
way for you guys to private message each other in that Facebook group, but also it would

897
00:53:44.920 --> 00:53:47.160
be like, hey, this conference is going on.

898
00:53:47.160 --> 00:53:53.120
This event's going on, because there might be an event going on that's really special

899
00:53:53.120 --> 00:53:54.800
to Redding or to Nashville.

900
00:53:54.800 --> 00:54:01.240
I might say, oh my gosh, it's Fanfare Week, it's CMA Week, June 10th through the 15th.

901
00:54:01.240 --> 00:54:04.200
You guys should come into town, it'll be really great.

902
00:54:04.200 --> 00:54:06.560
So you guys could announce stuff.

903
00:54:06.560 --> 00:54:12.060
So even people who aren't in that town might want to make a trip to that town and meet

904
00:54:12.060 --> 00:54:18.660
up with friends and or go, oh my gosh, I don't live there, but if I know Abram just

905
00:54:18.660 --> 00:54:23.220
posted about an event, I'll tell my single friends who aren't in the program to go to

906
00:54:23.220 --> 00:54:24.380
that event.

907
00:54:24.380 --> 00:54:30.060
And so that's what I've wanted to do, I've suggested to do with Single Cities is kind

908
00:54:30.060 --> 00:54:35.220
of merge it into one spot where people can just keep sharing.

909
00:54:35.220 --> 00:54:40.580
That's the only goal of the single community is to share cool things that are going on

910
00:54:40.580 --> 00:54:46.060
or like, hey, I'm traveling for business in Phoenix, anybody near Phoenix, I'd love

911
00:54:46.060 --> 00:54:48.620
to meet for dinner.

912
00:54:48.620 --> 00:54:53.700
Just so it would be a quick, easy way to get to know, I mean, so this way, I mean, you're

913
00:54:53.700 --> 00:54:59.940
not trying to get to know people one on one per se, but in my opinion, I would

914
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.400
We have the people that are in the paid community

915
00:55:03.440 --> 00:55:05.720
in that group, too,

916
00:55:05.720 --> 00:55:09.560
because I've really not seen anybody from the outside world

917
00:55:09.560 --> 00:55:13.440
be consistent in coming to events and stuff.

918
00:55:13.440 --> 00:55:17.040
But I might want to I'm going to be staying with Jackie

919
00:55:17.040 --> 00:55:18.080
for a couple of days.

920
00:55:18.080 --> 00:55:20.240
We have a actually we have a single

921
00:55:21.480 --> 00:55:25.080
we have a last year single wedding that we're going to on Thursday

922
00:55:25.080 --> 00:55:26.760
and I'll be flying in for that wedding.

923
00:55:26.760 --> 00:55:28.680
So I'm going to stay with Jackie.

924
00:55:28.680 --> 00:55:32.440
So I kind of it'll get I'll have time in the car with her and David.

925
00:55:32.440 --> 00:55:36.680
So I might get some undivided attention to share some ideas

926
00:55:37.720 --> 00:55:41.120
about this that might help.

927
00:55:41.160 --> 00:55:43.960
But y'all are not alone.

928
00:55:43.960 --> 00:55:45.560
Any other questions that you want to bring up?

929
00:55:45.560 --> 00:55:47.040
I don't want to keep you guys here.

930
00:55:47.040 --> 00:55:49.640
I know you guys are busy people. Yeah.

931
00:55:51.000 --> 00:55:52.400
Do you have a question, Hunter?

932
00:55:52.400 --> 00:55:55.160
Never mind. Are you sure?

933
00:55:55.840 --> 00:55:58.360
Yeah. Yeah, I am.

934
00:55:58.960 --> 00:56:01.760
It's OK. How do we?

935
00:56:01.760 --> 00:56:04.480
How's that? I've been doing jujitsu.

936
00:56:04.480 --> 00:56:07.440
I was thinking, what is it if women have it?

937
00:56:07.440 --> 00:56:10.040
Why is it that jujitsu tends to be a guy thing?

938
00:56:10.040 --> 00:56:11.880
And and we are number twenty one.

939
00:56:11.880 --> 00:56:13.520
How you deal with women?

940
00:56:13.520 --> 00:56:16.320
They're only doing girl things and men doing guy things.

941
00:56:16.320 --> 00:56:18.360
How you try to come out?

942
00:56:18.360 --> 00:56:20.280
What's the challenge behind that?

943
00:56:20.280 --> 00:56:21.960
You know, it's interesting that you say that.

944
00:56:21.960 --> 00:56:23.720
Like, I know there's this woman.

945
00:56:23.720 --> 00:56:25.680
She does like Taekwondo.

946
00:56:25.720 --> 00:56:28.360
And so, you know, you might want to find out

947
00:56:28.360 --> 00:56:33.240
like what's the more co-ed version of that and take a couple of classes in that.

948
00:56:33.560 --> 00:56:36.960
But I'm always encouraging the women, like, don't just go to places

949
00:56:36.960 --> 00:56:38.160
that women go to.

950
00:56:38.160 --> 00:56:40.400
Don't just go to an all girls gym.

951
00:56:40.760 --> 00:56:43.680
Don't just like go pick places to go.

952
00:56:43.680 --> 00:56:46.760
That's going to put you in front of the opposite sex.

953
00:56:47.320 --> 00:56:49.920
So I'm always encouraging the women to do that.

954
00:56:49.920 --> 00:56:54.120
So I might encourage you to do that, like, you know, just find out

955
00:56:54.120 --> 00:56:58.680
like literally Google what's similar to jujitsu

956
00:56:58.680 --> 00:57:02.760
that in upstate New York that might be more co-ed.

957
00:57:03.320 --> 00:57:05.320
And you might find it's a Taekwondo class.

958
00:57:05.320 --> 00:57:08.800
You might find that it's a safety class.

959
00:57:08.800 --> 00:57:13.120
Like you might find a way to get a more co-ed version of it.

960
00:57:13.440 --> 00:57:16.720
Or she might be somebody who likes doing extreme sports.

961
00:57:16.720 --> 00:57:21.720
And so she signed up to do we call them like the the muddy.

962
00:57:21.800 --> 00:57:23.240
What is it called?

963
00:57:23.240 --> 00:57:24.920
The Tough Mudder.

964
00:57:24.920 --> 00:57:27.720
Thank you. Tough Mudder.

965
00:57:28.080 --> 00:57:30.000
And so you'll find a chick.

966
00:57:30.320 --> 00:57:33.560
And believe it or not, Hunter, you probably just need to find somebody

967
00:57:33.560 --> 00:57:36.360
who's athletic ish, kind of like the Tough Mudder.

968
00:57:36.800 --> 00:57:40.560
And she may not know anything about jujitsu, but she would with you.

969
00:57:41.320 --> 00:57:43.640
But you're already picking somebody who's athletic.

970
00:57:43.840 --> 00:57:46.680
Like, oh, it's like that'd be great.

971
00:57:46.840 --> 00:57:48.880
Yeah, I think it would be super great.

972
00:57:48.920 --> 00:57:53.160
But it's also connected with the Lord or so that that's a priority.

973
00:57:53.320 --> 00:57:55.600
And that's what I've been doing with these two women.

974
00:57:55.600 --> 00:57:57.480
I've been sitting next to in church.

975
00:57:57.480 --> 00:58:00.800
Now, one, I think I'm in a level two relationship.

976
00:58:00.800 --> 00:58:02.640
I might be a level two relationship.

977
00:58:02.640 --> 00:58:03.600
You're in a level two.

978
00:58:03.600 --> 00:58:06.160
If you're going out on dates alone with them, you're not.

979
00:58:06.160 --> 00:58:08.040
If you're just sitting next to them, chilling out.

980
00:58:08.040 --> 00:58:13.480
If you are a level two, level two, level one is you're hanging out in community.

981
00:58:14.280 --> 00:58:18.640
Yeah. Level two is you saying, hey, do you want to have dinner with me?

982
00:58:18.880 --> 00:58:20.560
Do you want to go ice skating?

983
00:58:20.560 --> 00:58:22.200
Do you want to go play pick a ball?

984
00:58:22.200 --> 00:58:25.560
And you and her go alone on a date.

985
00:58:26.040 --> 00:58:28.200
That's level two.

986
00:58:28.200 --> 00:58:29.200
All right.

987
00:58:30.520 --> 00:58:33.520
A hundred ladies do marathons a lot now,

988
00:58:33.520 --> 00:58:36.400
I think like running is like really catching on huge because

989
00:58:37.040 --> 00:58:39.440
I think people are awakening to this whole health stuff.

990
00:58:39.440 --> 00:58:42.160
They're trying to kill us so they can give us their pills.

991
00:58:42.160 --> 00:58:44.800
Anyways, marathons are great.

992
00:58:44.800 --> 00:58:45.800
You know what?

993
00:58:45.800 --> 00:58:46.920
Yep. Climbing gyms.

994
00:58:46.920 --> 00:58:51.040
I did. I did marathons and triathlons and there was always a ton of chicks, but.

995
00:58:51.040 --> 00:58:52.640
Tons of chicks, dude.

996
00:58:52.640 --> 00:58:53.680
Tons of guys as well.

997
00:58:53.680 --> 00:58:54.240
Good guys.

998
00:58:54.240 --> 00:58:56.600
If you meet a good guy there, he might have, you know, somebody.

999
00:58:56.880 --> 00:58:58.440
Climbing gyms are pretty neutral.

1000
00:58:58.440 --> 00:58:59.560
I'd say there's a little bit more guys,

1001
00:58:59.560 --> 00:59:04.160
but a lot of chicks do climbing and they're in great shape, man.

1002
00:59:04.600 --> 00:59:07.120
They're in great shape.

1003
00:59:07.120 --> 00:59:10.320
Gym gym always, you know, if you want to get athletic, too.

1004
00:59:11.440 --> 00:59:14.560
I think there's a lot more women in the gym now than ever before.

1005
00:59:14.760 --> 00:59:15.560
I agree.

1006
00:59:15.560 --> 00:59:20.000
And I've even noticed, Abram, too, because like I always lift weights

1007
00:59:20.640 --> 00:59:25.280
and you always used to see women by the cardio machines and men pumping weights.

1008
00:59:25.280 --> 00:59:28.960
And I'm seeing almost equal men and women at the weight.

1009
00:59:28.960 --> 00:59:32.400
Oh, the women, they take up all the squat racks in the gym.

1010
00:59:32.400 --> 00:59:33.720
You can't get a set in.

1011
00:59:33.720 --> 00:59:35.680
They're there for an hour and a half. It's over.

1012
00:59:36.360 --> 00:59:38.560
That's why these gyms now they have double the squat racks

1013
00:59:38.560 --> 00:59:42.000
because women are working on, you know, all the lower half big time

1014
00:59:42.400 --> 00:59:43.600
and all the knowledge is out there.

1015
00:59:43.600 --> 00:59:46.080
So they're just, you know, copycatting some Instagram chick.

1016
00:59:46.360 --> 00:59:48.200
Yeah. And doing her workouts.

1017
00:59:48.200 --> 00:59:50.800
And now you might find a nice lady that, you know, likes to work out

1018
00:59:50.800 --> 00:59:53.120
and then she could help you, you know, get a bigger butt, too.

1019
00:59:53.120 --> 00:59:55.200
So there'll be some wins for you, bud.

1020
00:59:55.960 --> 00:59:57.600
That is hilarious.

1021
00:59:57.600 --> 01:00:00.000
I'm I I like to get in and get out, though.

1022
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.120
I'm not going to lie. When I go do my weights, I get in and I get out. I'm like a 40 minute girl.

1023
01:00:08.160 --> 01:00:13.200
Because I follow what my coach tells me to do. If it's a 30 second break or a 90 second break,

1024
01:00:13.200 --> 01:00:18.160
I'm already ready for the next one. I'm not super friendly when I go to the gym. I'm like,

1025
01:00:18.160 --> 01:00:23.520
I mean, I'm nice. I'm friendly because 90% of the time I need a guide to reach something for me.

1026
01:00:24.480 --> 01:00:32.560
Um, but for the most part, I, I don't know how people like just dilly dally and chit chat. No,

1027
01:00:32.560 --> 01:00:38.640
no, I'm there to work out. Chop, chop. We got to go. But that's awesome. You guys,

1028
01:00:38.640 --> 01:00:44.320
I had so much fun talking to you guys tonight. Um, Abram, I'm going to talk to Jackie and David

1029
01:00:44.320 --> 01:00:49.600
a little bit more about kind of creating that combined community. I feel like that's really,

1030
01:00:49.600 --> 01:00:56.400
really important for us. I am going to get those summaries to her and hopefully she will be

1031
01:00:56.400 --> 01:01:02.320
reaching out to you guys to spotlight you. I think it would be great for you to do that. And if you

1032
01:01:02.320 --> 01:01:08.480
want a little practice on being spotlighted next week, when you chat with either Mike, who's left

1033
01:01:08.480 --> 01:01:16.160
or David, um, then you guys can practice that. But a couple of you already practiced with me

1034
01:01:16.160 --> 01:01:21.920
and you guys would all be amazing. You guys are all amazing. You plan on doing this once a month

1035
01:01:21.920 --> 01:01:29.200
with us or me personally? I'm usually, I think I'm usually, I think I usually get to you guys

1036
01:01:29.200 --> 01:01:35.600
about once a month. Doesn't that seem about right? Yeah. Like it's good. Yeah, it's good. Don't,

1037
01:01:35.600 --> 01:01:44.880
don't let them take you from us. Oh, I appreciate that. You give the best like real advice,

1038
01:01:44.880 --> 01:01:50.000
like direct instruction. And I know for a lot of guys here, that's nice. Yeah. Not that like

1039
01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:53.680
through the air stuff. Like, you know, Hey, you know, blah, blah, blah. You're like, no,

1040
01:01:53.680 --> 01:01:59.760
stop doing that. Do more of that. And I appreciate that. So if you ever have time to watch them in

1041
01:01:59.760 --> 01:02:06.400
replay, whenever you see on, don't, don't let the word online dating confuse you. Whenever you see

1042
01:02:06.400 --> 01:02:11.760
that I'm leading a coaching call, it is very nuts and bolts and it might be actually good for you

1043
01:02:11.760 --> 01:02:17.680
to listen to it because the first 15 minutes of every dating coaching call, I pay attention to

1044
01:02:17.680 --> 01:02:22.560
what people keep asking in the chat, like on the Facebook page. And I'm like, Oh my gosh,

1045
01:02:22.560 --> 01:02:28.000
we're asking this stuff again. So I will always highlight the top questions I see getting asked

1046
01:02:28.880 --> 01:02:34.640
and how to handle that. And I've been getting pretty tough. Like last week I got pretty tough

1047
01:02:34.640 --> 01:02:39.120
with people. Like I was just kind of like, all right, this thing you got going on? No.

1048
01:02:39.680 --> 01:02:46.640
And this outfit, what's with the outfit? No. And the picture behind you? No. And then I was doing

1049
01:02:46.640 --> 01:02:51.200
this. I was like, you guys see how like different you look. Like, I mean, I look good here. Look,

1050
01:02:51.200 --> 01:02:56.160
you don't see any lines and wrinkles, but like, if I start walking into the, into like, I see,

1051
01:02:56.160 --> 01:03:01.440
I have a lot of light going on right now, but like, like this would be like this, like you,

1052
01:03:01.440 --> 01:03:05.280
with the thing, like you can't even see, see, look, I can't even find a bad light. Cause I've

1053
01:03:05.280 --> 01:03:09.360
got so many, I've got so much, my husband's probably pissed at me cause I have every light

1054
01:03:09.360 --> 01:03:16.640
on. But there are some people like that have like the spotlight behind them and they just

1055
01:03:16.640 --> 01:03:20.800
look like they're about to get interrogated. I'm like, what are you doing? Well, yeah,

1056
01:03:21.760 --> 01:03:27.760
he'll have his fan on and it looks like a MK ultra and he's getting hypnotized,

1057
01:03:27.760 --> 01:03:31.680
you know, it kills me. Love the guy, but. Oh, are you talking about Andy?

1058
01:03:31.680 --> 01:03:34.960
Yeah. This guy will have his fan on once in a while with the thing going. I'm like, dude,

1059
01:03:34.960 --> 01:03:38.640
you're trying to hypnotize me, bro. It's so true. You know? Oh my goodness.

1060
01:03:39.840 --> 01:03:45.600
Hey, Abram, do you want to pray us out? Okay. Sure. Uh, name of the father, son of the Holy

1061
01:03:45.600 --> 01:03:59.520
spirit. Um, I just pray that everybody here can, um, just, uh, almost, I mean, for me,

1062
01:03:59.600 --> 01:04:05.840
it just seems like every time I let go of things and break down, um, I, I get back up stronger. So

1063
01:04:06.960 --> 01:04:13.280
whatever's holding you back, just let it go, man. Uh, give it to God and, um, you know,

1064
01:04:13.280 --> 01:04:18.880
come back stronger so that way we can be better people for our future person. And, um, I give

1065
01:04:18.880 --> 01:04:24.000
everybody here a lot of, uh, good luck. I mean that I don't really believe in luck, but just

1066
01:04:24.000 --> 01:04:28.720
to help everybody, uh, find their person or, you know, meet somebody to help them

1067
01:04:29.840 --> 01:04:35.040
and learn things, uh, for their future person. So I pray everybody here, um,

1068
01:04:38.000 --> 01:04:41.440
you know, tries to have a good time doing that. Don't feel discouraged. It's tough.

1069
01:04:42.320 --> 01:04:47.760
There's a lot of crap out here and, um, together we can all do this and support each other. And,

1070
01:04:47.760 --> 01:04:54.720
um, that's what I pray for. Amen. Amen. I just saw your question, Abram. Who do we email?

1071
01:04:54.720 --> 01:04:59.840
It's admin at Jackie Dorman.com. Okay. Gotcha. Thank you so much.

1072
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:01.000
You bet.

1073
01:05:01.000 --> 01:05:02.000
All right, people.

1074
01:05:02.000 --> 01:05:03.200
See you soon.