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Hi, welcome. Welcome to another heartbreak session here tonight. So glad to have y'all

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joining us. Would love to have some of you come on screen and join me here so that I'm

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not talking to myself tonight. I'm sure we're going to have more people joining. Hi, Kiera.

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As we kind of go into housekeeping, we normally have more people join. So I'm going to go

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through a couple important housekeeping things. Totally fine, Christy. Thanks for letting

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me know though. Hi, Teresa. Hi, Beth Donnelly. What's up, girl? All right. We got one of

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our ladies that's in one of our other phases kind of joining back tonight. Love it. So

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glad to have you all. Nice to see you. Nice to see you too. Oh, I've missed you. All right.

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Awesome. So our housekeeping items tonight. First, let me say welcome to any new ladies.

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Have you joined us before? Is this your first time? Let me know in the chat. We want to

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welcome you for all of my ladies rejoining, joining back. Welcome back. We're so glad

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to have you here as well. I really believe God has some things that are special in store

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for every person that's here tonight. And just a friendly reminder for all those that

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are in our heartwork group. I normally do this reminder every couple months. It's not

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because I saw something that anybody did or anything. So I always like to kind of preface

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it with that. But we want to remind you that when you're here in the heartwork group and

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even in the other phases, I should say this as well, because we want to encourage other

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people, but we don't want to become coaches. We don't want to counsel or encourage you

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all to give advice. And so we want you to take your helper hats off because that's,

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that's my role. That's Kelly's role, Andrea's role, other coaches and other groups. Your

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role is to be here to receive, to grow and to flourish, to meet sisters, to encourage

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one another. But we'll take care of any of the coaching, advising, all of that kind of

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stuff. Sometimes what can happen, interestingly enough, is people get into the other phases

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and then they become dating coaches. It's kind of crazy. But it doesn't mean that people

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can't give feedback. We just want to make sure that they're not kind of opposing things

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that coaches are in here doing and saying. So super important to keep that in mind as

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you go forward. Kira and Jennifer, welcome for your first time. So glad to have you guys

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joining us tonight. Oftentimes what can happen with these helper gifts, you know, people

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that are in any kind of care role or you have been a coach or counselor or teacher even,

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any of those kind of things, ministry leaders, you can often tend to have this strong helper

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gift focus, which is amazing, but any gift overextended can become a weakness. And here's

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where we see it becoming a weakness. And this is something I've had to overcome in the past

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and I still have to overcome this at times. It's that it can often be a distraction tactic

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of the enemy. What do I mean by that? Well, he's going to try to keep you really busy

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helping everybody else so that you don't actually lean in to your own healing. So if you're

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somebody that, you know, you start this healing process or every time you start to do something

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to move your life forward and now all of a sudden your friends have all these needs

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or somebody at work needs extra time from you, it doesn't mean we have to say no to

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everything, but I want you to understand and recognize that some of you, this is how the

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enemy is getting you off track. You're putting the mask on everybody else and you're not

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putting the breathing oxygen mask, so to speak, on yourself. So really try to work on that

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here in the heart work as well as the other phases so that you can keep moving forward

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yourself. I even saw this in a post that someone had up in the group. It was a great question

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and honestly, I can't even remember who I responded to right now. Sorry about that.

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But it was basically like someone that had been abusive to them that they had dated.

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They're not dating anymore. But you know, they're kind of still, they love that person

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and they're still hoping that that person will change and do I wait for them to get

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healthy and change? No, you do not. No, you do not. You get healthy, you focus on yourself,

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you move forward and leave God to take care of whatever's going to happen with that person.

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Because here's the thing, and this is what I said in the response to her, and this came

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from Jackie, so I cannot take credit for it, but it's such great coaching and advice. We

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cannot marry potential ladies. Okay, we can't. We have to marry marriage minded, mature,

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healthy men, men that walk in all the fruits of the spirit. They're not just saying with

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their words, they're going to be something, do something and then acting completely different.

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We want to look at people's fruit, their actions, what is their life and how they live and how

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they're treating you, tell you about them. A lot of times.

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He listened to people's words, myself included.

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That's why I got stuck in a six year relationship that was massively abusive.

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I kept listening to his words and living by that instead of like, Oh, this guy

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just keeps cheating on me over and over and over.

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I saw those things, but I kind of started excusing them in a sense,

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not because I wanted to, but by subconscious growing up taught me

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that you just, my dad was an addict drug, you know, alcoholic.

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My dad cheated on my mom.

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You just forgive.

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You just forgive.

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You just love.

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You just look.

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And yes, we do love, but you know what?

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Love also has boundaries, ladies, and we forget the most

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important person to love is us.

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So if that's speaking to you, take it, kind of meditate on that and see what

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God wants to speak to you, uh, excuse me, more about that this week.

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When I encourage you to check out supernatural Saturday, you have

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permission to produce, uh, David Dorman, Jackie's husband led our faith

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Friday on a Saturday is what they kept calling.

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It was kind of fun, but that was the theme that came out of it, that

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we have permission to produce, produce what, well, hopefully you all in the

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heart work right now are producing a lot of heart healing, you're producing

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a lot of like you're allowing God to kind of get inward to inspect what's

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going on in your heart, that's causing fruit that's not beneficial to you in

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your life, for those of you, even in other phases, it's kind of like, okay,

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what's, what's growing in our community.

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We want you to harvest in the field that is ripe for harvest.

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So sometimes we get frustrated because many of, many of you all come here

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because you want to be married.

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You want to meet someone and we want that for you too, but some of you might

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need to harvest in the field of growing in your financial stewardship, getting

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a new job, going back to school.

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That might be where you need to harvest first, growing in your confidence so

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that you can harvest in the field of relationship with that, when that

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field is ready for harvest.

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And sometimes you come, no matter, you know, cause we all come from

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different places and spaces and journeys.

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So some people have, you know, they're kind of ready and they're, they come

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through heart work and their, their field is ready right then.

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And then we have people that are like, well, what's wrong with me?

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Why am I not meeting my person right now?

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You know, and then we have people that have been in the program several years.

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And, uh, then they're like, where's my person?

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Am I doing something wrong?

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No, let's just harvest.

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And it can be really hard.

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I'm not minimizing that, but you know what, when we partner with hard

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instead of God, what are you doing in this season?

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What are you growing in me?

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Where do you want me to thrive?

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Then we get our eyes on the wrong things.

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And all we always see is what's not working.

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What's not happening versus what is God doing?

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What does God want to do in me today?

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So lean into that, check that out.

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Um, also the one last thing is we want to encourage you to engage in the group.

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So again, people coming on to the lives, letting me see you,

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you guys seeing each other.

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This is your sisters in this community.

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It's awesome to see one another.

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Also so many great posts in the group.

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You got, you have been doing a great job.

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I saw several silhouette posts today.

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If I haven't seen yours, please don't take that personally.

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I tried to jump in there a little bit more today than I have been able to recently,

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but that's why we have a team.

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We have Andrea and Kelly helping out now, which is amazing.

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And that opens me up to do some other things in our community.

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If you guys don't know, I also coached Simbas coaching in our

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community with my husband, which is saving your marriage before it starts.

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And I also lead advanced heartwork sessions in some of our other phases,

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all kinds of things happening here in the community.

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So once y'all move on from heartwork, there's so much more for you to experience.

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It's going to be really great.

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All right, let me pray for us.

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Father, thank you so much for tonight.

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Thank you for everything that you're doing already in our hearts.

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God, thank you for truth.

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That brings freedom.

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That brings breakthrough.

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God, I ask you to bring revealings for healing where they're necessary.

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Help us to see what we couldn't see before.

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Thank you, Lord, for the revelation and the truth, even today that I, you know,

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talk a lot about healing happens in layers and forgiveness happens in layers.

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And I read something today and it was like, thoughts are layered.

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One thought is connected to another thought.

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And it's not like I didn't know that before, Lord, but that just felt like

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such an aha moment, especially for what we're going to talk about tonight.

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I pray tonight that you would help every single one of us recognize thoughts that

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are negative, that are limiting, that are orphan mentalities, that Lord, that

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they've kind of compacted with other thoughts layered upon layered upon

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layered, but Lord help us to know not only the thoughts, but the root of those

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thoughts, the source of trauma, the source of the.

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wounding that has kept us bound and stuck because we believed lies about ourselves because of what

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we've gone through, what we've seen, what we've experienced. So Lord, I just thank you. I thank

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you for coming, for dying on the cross, Jesus, for setting us free. And Holy Spirit, I thank you that

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you're here with us, that you're weaving in and out of the Zoom room into every space where people

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are going to watch the replays. God, that you would help us to hear you clearly. Remove all distractions

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help us to know that we matter in this time tonight and in the days to come matter. In Jesus' name,

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amen. So last week, welcome for those that have joined just recently. So glad to have you here.

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If you're joining us for the first time, please let us know. We want to welcome you. I've welcomed

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all my ladies returning as well. Hopefully you guys always know that that is something that

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we're going to do over and over. Single Spotlight is for people beyond outside of heartwork. So

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heartwork ladies are going to be right here with me tonight. Hopefully they're not over there

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hanging out, looking at things, dating that are not where they're at in this season. Content for

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tonight we're going to dive into. I know, I know it gets distracting because you all see things

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she's talking about on IG, Instagram, or Facebook and you're like, what am I missing out? FOMO,

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darn it. But you're not. You're going to be right on time for your spirit made a promise.

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I really, really do promise. It's amazing how that works out. Beth Glover, welcome for your

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first live session too. So glad to have you. I think I missed a question here too. I see

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Jennifer said, in case I missed it somewhere, what is the major subject for Friday? Oh,

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so we do prayer, Jennifer, seven days a week. Okay. So Monday through Thursday is women only

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from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. Eastern time. All of the events, anything that is available to you

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here in the heartwork is in your events calendar. So if you go under the events tab and look at the

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calendar, yeah, you'll have links for all of the prayer things that are open, but Monday through

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Thursday is women only. Friday is our co-ed. So men are invited to that as well. And we call it

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faith Friday. And then Saturday, Jackie comes in. Typically it's Jackie, but this past week,

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it was David. Sometimes I lead it depending on the schedule. But it's what we call supernatural

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Saturday, where we're leaning into heaven and hearing what God is wanting to say over the

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community. And then Sunday night, typically three weeks of the month, we call it Sunday night

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activation. One of our leaders, Candy, typically comes and leads that. And it's basically to

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activate the word from supernatural Saturday and help you guys learn how to unpack that more. And

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then one Sunday night a month, we do prophetic ministry night, last Sunday night of every month,

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typically. Pretty awesome. So if you all did not know that already, that's kind of the kind of

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quick rundown. And then of course, your live sessions for heartwork here in this phase are

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Mondays at 1pm or 8pm Eastern Time. And you all are here tonight. So identity, we started talking

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about that last week. We're going to dive into that a little more. And then we're going to build

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on it regarding belief systems and things that we get stuck in. And so I want to activate you all

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really quickly. And what I mean by that is get you to talk to me and be interactive with me. And so

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I want you in a moment to not hold anything back. I want you to be honest with what comes to your

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mind quickly and immediately. Okay? I want you to fill in this blank. Basically finish this statement.

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I am blank. What comes to mind for you can be a word, it can be a phrase, anything. I am

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fill in the blank. Put that in the chat for me. Let me start to see those. I am funny. I am tired.

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I'm single. I'm complicated. We're going to talk about these. I'm lost. I'm happy. I'm loving. I'm

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overweight. I'm smart. I'm sorry, I'm going fast now. I'm loved. I'm tired. I'm scared. I'm creative.

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Anymore. I'm waiting. I'm sad. I'm waiting. There's another one. People joining in that together. I'm

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doomed to stay stuck in poverty and without. I am free to explore.

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See if there's any others. Y'all can keep putting those in the chat if they come to mind.

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I am beautiful and wise and focused. Yes, you are, Joy. You're focused. You're finishing the heartwork.

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All right, girl. I am seen. I'm happy. So as you all, if you have more come to your mind, I would

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encourage you to go ahead and keep putting those in the chat. I want you to jot down any that you

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wrote in the chat on your journal or piece of paper because I want you to take some time this

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week with those as we start to unpack this content tonight. Hopefully, you're going to get some

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breakthrough if you had negative thoughts that came to mind. If you had positive, happy thoughts,

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that's awesome. But the reality is, ladies, unfortunately, most of us,

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have more negative thoughts every single day than we have positive thoughts and

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that comes from our inner programming from the lies we believe because of the

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trauma or the wounds that we've been through and as you heal you hopefully

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will start to recognize and notice more positive thoughts more positive thoughts

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but it doesn't mean the enemy will ever stop trying to get us to believe the lie

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okay so we armor up we set our face like Flint and we know that God's truth is

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what we can stand on but we're going to talk to you a little bit more tonight

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about how to actually have the a healthy inner dialogue so that you can actually

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have good thoughts that you're thinking on on a more regular basis but I want

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you to know it's not about behaving well it's not about you know like oh my gosh

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I'm so bad I have all these native thoughts I just have to stop stop stop

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yes we want to stop but the thing is we don't want to punish ourselves because

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again these are typically things that are happening because our subconscious

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has an inner dialogue that we learned because of things that we went through

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the lies that we believed because of the wounds or the trauma I'm going to keep

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saying that you guys are going to hear that so much in heart work that

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hopefully you will leave and you will remember okay this isn't truth right now

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this is a lie that's surfacing because of the trauma or wounds I've been

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through and you can start asking God to help you differentiate between the

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thoughts and hopefully you will grow in discernment hopefully you're going to

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grow in wisdom to recognize thoughts quickly the Bible says that we should

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cast down every negative thought we should take them all captive and cast

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them down and what make them obedient to the what the Word of God right so what

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is the truth in Christ Jesus we have to learn that we have to unbecome the

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things that we've learned in a negative way we have to unthink negative thoughts

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and we have to practice thinking positive thoughts do you all know that

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when we think a lot of negative thoughts it creates grooves and pathways in our

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brain that actually have to be rewritten this isn't just an automatic easy thing

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so if for some of you if you're working on trying to think more positive and

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then you just like man you're struggling and it's really really hard well it's

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because you're rewriting like with God's help of course it's not just

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something we do but like it takes time to rewire our brains it takes time for

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our bodies to listen and hear something different because Brian and I are doing

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foster to adopt classes man we've been learning a ton and I just wanted to

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share something that when we are watching it was a trauma and based

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trauma-informed therapy training that we did this past weekend and it was

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talking about children from 0 to 3 talked about children of every age but

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here's the thing from 0 to 3 years old that is when a majority of our thoughts

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like what we believe about safety about love about trust that's when it's formed

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and then everything else kind of keeps building on top of that so if when we

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were little babes 0 to 3 if we were crying crying crying in our crib and for

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whatever reason parents didn't come and take care or there was neglect y'all

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that goes into the subconscious okay so this isn't about hating on your parents

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right now it's not about blaming them but I'm sharing this because I I've

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heard it before but hearing it in this context I don't know it just kind of

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reopened my eyes all over again to like oh okay so one of the cool things is

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this in in this session they were talking about different attachment

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styles I'm not going to get into that tonight but I want you all to know one

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of the things they said that I want you to understand is that we can learn to

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heal and we can learn to securely attach but it will take time especially if

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we're already adults okay because we've had the wrong program for a long time

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but you can unbecome unhealthy versions of yourself every day so you can also

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learn to become who God is originally created you to be which is a part of the

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original identity that he gave us before wounds or trauma ever entered our month

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our minds our hearts our lives before we were ever neglected before we were ever

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forgotten or abandoned or rejected any of that stuff he's rewriting I'm

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hearing the Lord say he's rewriting the code in our hearts and our souls and our

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spirits and we just have to keep partnering with him in this process so

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if you've been struggling and just feeling like man I don't know if this is

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ever gonna change I don't know if I'm ever gonna stop believing this negative

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thing that I've

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I want you to know that God sees you, He hears you, He loves you, and He is walking with you to try to assist you in the retraining of what you learned before.

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So, what thoughts are you currently aligning with in this season of your life that are not aligned with God's truth for you?

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You don't have to put those in the chat, but I want you, if they come to your mind as I keep going on tonight,

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I want you to jot them on your paper because I will give you some instructions on what we're going to do with those later, okay?

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So, as you remember from last week, we talked about Adam and Eve and what happened when they sinned in the garden.

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It said, I'm not going to go into the full scripture because I already read that last week.

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So, if you haven't seen that yet, for our new ladies, you might want to go back and watch that replay from last week.

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Because I won't circle back to that for almost, like, probably six weeks and you guys might be gone by then.

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So, go back and watch that replay. It's really powerful.

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Do the silhouette activation. It's okay. You won't be behind. Just do it when you're able.

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But I think that will be really, really helpful for you.

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But one of the things I said is that they hid.

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You know, God's walking and He's like, you know, where are you? Basically.

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And they're hiding behind a bush and when God calls them out from there, basically, God's like, why are you hiding?

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And Adam's, like, saying this stuff back and forth and then he says, this is what God says to Adam.

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Who told you that you were naked?

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So, I use this as a setup because who or what are you currently getting your identity from?

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Adam knew that he was naked because he ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, right?

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So, the reality is when we believe lies that the enemy feeds us when we go through wounds or trauma,

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it's like we're eating from the apple, if you will.

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Our eyes become open to evil, to darkness.

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We believe and perceive something because of what we're going through.

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And sometimes it's accurate information, you all, and sometimes it's not.

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As little children, we do not have the capacity to understand trauma.

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Our brains are not even developed enough at that age.

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One of the things that's said this weekend, too, that I thought was super interesting, and I don't want to misquote them,

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but I wrote down age for women typically 20 to 25 years old is when our brains become more fully developed.

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Think about that.

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How much trauma have you all seen leading up to your 0 to 20 or 0 to 25 years of age?

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I don't know about you all, but I saw a lot of trauma, experienced a lot of trauma.

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And if my brain wasn't even fully formed yet to comprehend or handle that,

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well, then that typically is going to mean that I'm going to interpret some of those things incorrectly, most likely,

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because I don't know how to compute it.

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So for those of you that have been really hard on yourselves,

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because you, again, have been struggling with the same cycles in your mind for a long time,

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I really want you to extend some grace to yourself.

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I feel the Holy Spirit on this as I'm circling back to it.

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Reprogramming takes time.

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It takes grace.

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I'm speaking to myself, too.

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It takes grace.

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Our bodies getting reprogrammed and learning that we're not in trauma anymore,

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that we don't have to be in a fight-or-flight mode anymore takes time.

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So who or what are you currently getting your identity from?

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So what we've eaten, again, taken in through the trauma or experienced or witnessed,

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is one of the things that we typically get our identity from, unfortunately.

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Also, what have people said to you?

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What have people said about you?

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Is that what you're allowing to inform your mind and your thinking and your heart?

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And then also, who does the enemy say that you are?

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What are the things that the enemy is saying to you?

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And then who does God say you are?

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I often talk about the importance of, like, when we have thoughts, pausing,

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and not just, like, receiving every thought as it's from us,

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but pausing and saying,

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Okay, Lord, I just had this thought.

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Is this my thought?

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Is this your thought?

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Or is this a thought from the enemy?

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And slowing down enough to recognize,

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Okay, man, this thought I just had, this didn't even come from me.

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The enemy is trying to assault my mind right now.

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And then that's going to give you the authority to know that you can stand up against that stuff.

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When it's your own thought, that shows you can do it.

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that there's some reprogramming stuff that needs done there, right? So I want you guys to start

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slowing down and paying attention to the thoughts that you're thinking. What are you hearing? What

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are you thinking? What's coming in when something hard happens? Is your go-to thought that God

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abandons you and he doesn't ever come through for you? Is your go-to thought, like somebody said it

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earlier, I'm doomed to stay stuck in poverty and without things. These are things, these are go-to

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trigger thoughts when we go through hard times. So what does your root system look like? What do

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I mean by that? I mean, I want you to look on the internal. Look at what's going on in the depths of

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your soul and understand that everything that's on the inside, it has to get its nutrients from

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somewhere. So is the soil of your heart good? Is it healthy?

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Or is there like toxic waste in there that's disrupting the growth of your tree, so to speak,

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the growth and the healing of your heart, and it's causing all this toxicity to come outward?

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Because remember, Luke 6 45 says this, a good person produces good things from the treasury

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of a good heart and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.

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What you say, I added, or think flows from what's in your heart. Out of the overflow of the heart,

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the mouth speaks. We hear this scripture a lot, but it's true. If our internal systems have a

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bunch of negativity in them, well then that's what's going to come out. So are your roots giving

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your life, excuse me, giving you life, or are they causing you to decay? And for the reality is

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sometimes we can be thriving in one area and really starting kind of atrophy, decay in another

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area. It can be both and. Are your roots causing you to expect the worst while trying to have hope

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for the best? I actually read a devotion about that this morning, that's why I put that in there.

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We're saying we're believing for hope, like we want to have hope, we want to believe,

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but at the same time we're like, I don't, I don't really think God's going to do this for me.

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It makes me think of the scripture that also talks about the bitter, you know, bitter water,

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you know, and the good water. They can't, you know, the spring water and the bitter water,

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they can't both come from the same spring, you all. It's just not, it's just not how things work.

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So we need to allow God, as like Psalm 6, uh, 51 talks about creating me a clean heart, oh God,

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oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit in me.

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God, remove all the junk, remove all the unhealthy, toxic things that I have believed.

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Help me to see myself more clearly. Help me to see you more clearly.

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Father, come and place the balm of Gilead upon my heart, upon every wound, on every trauma.

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Heal me from the inside out. And when we pray into those things and lean into that more and

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more, God will reveal these areas for healing that you need to know about.

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Are your roots causing you to partner with doubt and unbelief?

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So how can you tell what's in your roots? I kind of mentioned it a little bit ago. I don't know if

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you recognize it, but it's looking at the fruit in our lives. Same thing as we're looking at the

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fruit in other people's lives. So what is the fruit of your life? What is the story it's telling?

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And this isn't about pretending that you're good.

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We're not going to talk about this in depth tonight because I talk about it in another

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session, but I want to kind of bring up the mask, the kind of the mask that we live behind.

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I've got it all together. I've got to be perfect. I've got to act happy. But if you're dying on the

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inside, you know, let's look at that. Let's look at that with the Lord. But if you're someone who

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you've just always been sad and depressed in as long as you can remember, I want you to understand

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that's that is also something that you've learned, but that can be broken with counseling. In addition

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to this coaching, you know, a lot of care, a lot of reprogramming work. You can learn how to live

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a victorious life. You can be an overcomer, not just a survivor, an overcomer. Okay. So now we're

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going to talk very quickly. Oh, sorry. I want to turn to something really quick. I'm going to go

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further into this, what I'm talking to you all about, about the fruit and the roots. Give me one

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second. All right. So what you believe about yourself, you become. So that's kind of what

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I'm getting at. The roots on the inside.

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side, what we believe about ourselves is what we're going to become. It's going to be what

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we produce. For as a person thinks in his heart, so is he. That's Proverbs 23.7 from

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the Amplified Version. So we want to look at whatever is coming out, again, is what

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we're thinking on the inside.

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Wrong thoughts are no longer just staying in our hearts. What's happening is they start

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to multiply like little bunnies. That's what Jackie talks about and it actually is so true.

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Have you ever seen a little nest of bunnies? Typically, bunnies have a lot of bunnies.

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They rapidly multiply. And I think sometimes, I don't know if this is true or not, people

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that are animal lovers or you know this information, you can tell me for sure, but I think there

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are bunnies that can have litters more than once a year. I think that's why they talk

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about how fast they can multiply. I don't know if that's true. Y'all can fact check

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me and let me know. But don't do it now. Let's do it later. But anyways, I want you to think

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about this from the aspect of what goes in our hearts massively, like rapidly reproduces.

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For good or for evil in the sense. And so again, looking at what's coming out of your

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heart and the fruit is going to help you see the areas that it's like a signal. It's like

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boop boop like this is where you need help. This is where I'm stuck. This is where God's

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trying to highlight things to you even tonight. So I want you to see how these can become

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like vicious cycles that we live in. We just keep ignoring these things and we keep going.

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Well, when we do that, then additional trauma or wounding happens and sometimes even through

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our own actions. And then it's just building that stronghold deeper and stronger, deeper

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and stronger. All right. So first, what we do is we try to believe or excuse me, we try

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to recognize the lie. For example, I'm abandoned. That's a lie. If you believe that, that is

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a lie that you're believing. Number two. Next, we speak the lie over ourselves. Nobody is

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ever going to be there for me. Finally, we become the lie. This is the behavior toward

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isolation, withdrawal from others, which then creates a false sense of abandonment. But

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then it also causes that cycle to restart because now even more so we believe we're

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abandoned. So here's the thing. We can't just stop believing these lies like automatic.

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It would be great if that happened. The reality is we have to reprogram and it's just not

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in our minds. You all it's down in our hearts. That's why the heartwork is so critical. It's

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critical to our life source and everything. You guys want to live a good, good life,

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abundant life. Well, we have to work on the heart. We have to work on the way that we

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think. Okay, I'm going to skip ahead into the book and I want to talk very quickly about

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some of the vows and things that we believe. All right. So I don't remember what chapter

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this is, or I would tell you, sorry guys, but this is what it says. But even though you

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won't be able to replace the actual events that happened in your life, you can replace

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the lies that you have believed. And most importantly, the vows you made as a result of

413
00:33:20.980 --> 00:33:24.940
them, as a result of the lies you believed. When we experience these hurts in life, they

414
00:33:24.940 --> 00:33:30.860
make us sad. And when we are sad, that's when anger shows up. Anger is always the

415
00:33:30.860 --> 00:33:36.740
defender. It always shows up when those wounded and vulnerable parts of our heart feel

416
00:33:36.740 --> 00:33:42.500
threatened. And the way Jackie says is we like to think of it in this community as, you

417
00:33:42.500 --> 00:33:48.420
know, anger is hurts bodyguard. So if you're feeling angry a lot, guess what? That's a

418
00:33:48.420 --> 00:33:54.740
signal that you have parts of your heart that are hurting. They're sad, they're broken,

419
00:33:54.740 --> 00:33:59.220
and they need some love. They need some attention. And God is trying to lead you into

420
00:33:59.220 --> 00:34:04.060
freedom. And he wants you to not just keep being numb in the world. He wants you to be

421
00:34:04.060 --> 00:34:08.940
fully alive. Don't you think just like, just like any parent, we want to see our kids

422
00:34:08.940 --> 00:34:15.380
living fully alive. I love my girls so much when they're struggling. It is so hard for

423
00:34:15.380 --> 00:34:22.060
me because I know God has so much more for them. And imagine how much greater God feels

424
00:34:22.060 --> 00:34:31.340
when he sees us. And we're struggling. He just wants to help us step into freedom and

425
00:34:31.340 --> 00:34:39.139
to heal. He wants us to have amazing, abundant lives. That is the father that we have. Okay,

426
00:34:39.139 --> 00:34:43.100
I'm going to keep going. So when anger is around, this is what typically happens. We

427
00:34:43.100 --> 00:34:50.620
feel strong. And we start to make inner vows. Nobody's ever going to hurt me again. I don't

428
00:34:50.620 --> 00:34:57.620
care about anybody. I can't trust anybody. It's just easier being single. I will never

429
00:34:57.620 --> 00:34:59.780
turn out like my father or my mother.

430
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.700
won't be made a fool of anymore.

431
00:35:02.700 --> 00:35:05.440
Nobody is gonna tell me what to do.

432
00:35:05.440 --> 00:35:08.380
I can't tell anybody about this.

433
00:35:09.400 --> 00:35:11.600
This happens a lot in abusive environments

434
00:35:11.600 --> 00:35:13.980
from when we're young, even as adults.

435
00:35:13.980 --> 00:35:17.720
There are a lot of people that get abused, men as well,

436
00:35:17.720 --> 00:35:20.040
where they're just completely embarrassed

437
00:35:20.040 --> 00:35:22.800
and think they can't tell anyone about it.

438
00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:24.640
Here's another one.

439
00:35:24.640 --> 00:35:28.900
I will be perfect from now on so nobody can reject me.

440
00:35:29.840 --> 00:35:32.480
There's so many more inner vows that we create,

441
00:35:32.480 --> 00:35:33.660
but those are some.

442
00:35:33.660 --> 00:35:35.640
We make a decision to harden our hearts

443
00:35:35.640 --> 00:35:37.520
and it makes sense in the moment.

444
00:35:37.520 --> 00:35:40.400
We think if we make these vows and build these walls around

445
00:35:40.400 --> 00:35:42.880
to protect ourselves, to protect our hearts,

446
00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:46.200
then we can just keep all the bad things out.

447
00:35:46.200 --> 00:35:49.200
We don't have to risk love and being hurt again,

448
00:35:49.200 --> 00:35:53.440
but unfortunately, walls are good at keeping everything out

449
00:35:54.880 --> 00:35:57.500
and not allowing good stuff to come in.

450
00:35:59.120 --> 00:36:03.640
So to stop surviving and start thriving,

451
00:36:03.640 --> 00:36:07.620
we are gonna have to be able to let things in.

452
00:36:07.620 --> 00:36:10.860
We have to start recognizing the lies

453
00:36:10.860 --> 00:36:13.520
and their corresponding vows,

454
00:36:15.120 --> 00:36:17.960
ask God to help those emerge and come out of us

455
00:36:17.960 --> 00:36:21.800
so that we can replace them with God's truth.

456
00:36:21.800 --> 00:36:24.680
The only way to heal, ladies,

457
00:36:24.700 --> 00:36:29.060
is to replace the lies that we believe with truth.

458
00:36:29.060 --> 00:36:31.340
And again, not just in our heads.

459
00:36:31.340 --> 00:36:35.020
A lot of times, even in a lot of really healthy churches,

460
00:36:35.020 --> 00:36:36.860
it's not name it, claim it, ladies,

461
00:36:36.860 --> 00:36:39.440
but some people get really afraid

462
00:36:39.440 --> 00:36:41.260
when we start talking about declarations.

463
00:36:41.260 --> 00:36:43.180
Declarations changed my life.

464
00:36:43.180 --> 00:36:44.420
They got me to where I was

465
00:36:44.420 --> 00:36:46.780
before I even came into the heart work, okay?

466
00:36:46.780 --> 00:36:48.500
But I've learned a lot more

467
00:36:49.500 --> 00:36:53.220
that I needed to be able to declare it in my heart,

468
00:36:53.220 --> 00:36:54.720
not just my mind.

469
00:36:55.880 --> 00:36:57.840
And how could I declare it in my heart?

470
00:36:58.740 --> 00:37:00.400
Well, I'll never forget the day

471
00:37:00.400 --> 00:37:03.540
I finally believed that I was a bride.

472
00:37:04.400 --> 00:37:06.280
Like in my heart, I believed it.

473
00:37:06.280 --> 00:37:08.600
And y'all, I had been married before,

474
00:37:08.600 --> 00:37:10.240
but even then, I really didn't feel,

475
00:37:10.240 --> 00:37:12.120
I didn't feel ready to be a bride.

476
00:37:12.120 --> 00:37:13.820
I didn't feel healed enough to be a bride

477
00:37:13.820 --> 00:37:15.120
the first time around.

478
00:37:17.160 --> 00:37:19.880
But through a lot of healing, a lot of restoration,

479
00:37:19.880 --> 00:37:23.340
I started actually believing, I am a bride.

480
00:37:24.580 --> 00:37:26.820
God is, I am God's daughter.

481
00:37:26.820 --> 00:37:28.860
I'm worthy of good things.

482
00:37:28.860 --> 00:37:30.420
God has good things for me.

483
00:37:33.660 --> 00:37:36.300
And I started declaring it out of my mouth

484
00:37:36.300 --> 00:37:38.380
because I actually believed it in my heart.

485
00:37:38.380 --> 00:37:40.100
And for the first time in my life,

486
00:37:40.100 --> 00:37:43.660
I remember my heart and my mind were in sync.

487
00:37:43.660 --> 00:37:45.580
They believed the same thing.

488
00:37:46.420 --> 00:37:47.980
And then the more that that happened,

489
00:37:47.980 --> 00:37:50.360
the more that I was gaining momentum.

490
00:37:51.240 --> 00:37:52.640
And that's how it works.

491
00:37:55.280 --> 00:37:57.680
So what are the inner vows that you're believing?

492
00:37:58.800 --> 00:38:01.440
Inner vows are a determination set in our mind

493
00:38:01.440 --> 00:38:05.600
and our heart that like to try to protect us from pain,

494
00:38:05.600 --> 00:38:07.080
as I was reading in the book.

495
00:38:08.720 --> 00:38:11.560
It's something that happens subconsciously

496
00:38:11.560 --> 00:38:13.240
because we're trying to protect ourselves

497
00:38:13.240 --> 00:38:16.600
from being hurt by someone or something.

498
00:38:16.600 --> 00:38:17.580
Romans 12, two says,

499
00:38:17.580 --> 00:38:19.340
do not conform to the pattern of this world,

500
00:38:19.340 --> 00:38:22.260
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

501
00:38:22.260 --> 00:38:24.620
Then you will be able to test what God's will is,

502
00:38:24.620 --> 00:38:28.600
his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

503
00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:33.220
Here are a couple of other examples of inner vows.

504
00:38:33.220 --> 00:38:36.180
I read a lot already, but these were a couple that I added.

505
00:38:37.180 --> 00:38:38.540
I don't know if I read this one already.

506
00:38:38.540 --> 00:38:41.540
I'll never be able to make anyone happy.

507
00:38:41.540 --> 00:38:44.340
This happens a lot, again, like an abusive environment.

508
00:38:44.340 --> 00:38:45.700
It can happen in any environment,

509
00:38:45.700 --> 00:38:47.920
but a lot of times in abusive environments

510
00:38:47.920 --> 00:38:50.680
where the people really are never happy,

511
00:38:50.680 --> 00:38:52.000
you start to believe the lie

512
00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:54.560
that you can never make anyone happy.

513
00:38:54.560 --> 00:38:55.480
But the reality is,

514
00:38:55.480 --> 00:38:58.620
is we don't even think we can be happy ourselves.

515
00:38:58.620 --> 00:39:00.680
We're not even happy in our own presence,

516
00:39:00.680 --> 00:39:05.040
let alone living in a way where other people are happy.

517
00:39:05.040 --> 00:39:07.720
And here's the truth of all this.

518
00:39:07.720 --> 00:39:10.980
It isn't our job to make them happy.

519
00:39:13.520 --> 00:39:14.360
Truth.

520
00:39:16.120 --> 00:39:21.120
When people are healthy and they live happy,

521
00:39:23.120 --> 00:39:27.040
we get the blessing of the abundance of that fruit,

522
00:39:27.040 --> 00:39:30.900
but it's not my job to make my husband a happy person.

523
00:39:33.380 --> 00:39:35.360
So I want y'all to kind of receive that.

524
00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:39.080
It's not your job to make your mom or your dad happy

525
00:39:39.080 --> 00:39:41.440
or your siblings happy.

526
00:39:41.440 --> 00:39:43.800
I was a little peacemaker as a kid, man.

527
00:39:43.820 --> 00:39:45.280
Every time they fought,

528
00:39:45.280 --> 00:39:47.100
I would be in between my brothers and sisters

529
00:39:47.100 --> 00:39:49.940
trying to make everybody happy, trying to bring the peace.

530
00:39:49.940 --> 00:39:52.840
And so I started living like that as an adult.

531
00:39:53.900 --> 00:39:55.420
That's not my job.

532
00:39:56.500 --> 00:39:57.660
That's God's job.

533
00:39:59.380 --> 00:40:00.220
I can pray for you.

534
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.720
For them, I can sow good seed, I can speak truth

535
00:40:03.720 --> 00:40:07.160
when I feel like the door is open to do so.

536
00:40:07.160 --> 00:40:10.120
But even for years, I chased after my dad,

537
00:40:10.120 --> 00:40:12.800
wanted him to be my dad, I wanted him to be my dad.

538
00:40:12.800 --> 00:40:16.180
And you all, he just couldn't show up and be my dad.

539
00:40:17.120 --> 00:40:19.800
And when I finally realized that,

540
00:40:19.800 --> 00:40:24.800
and I quit expecting that from him, I became free.

541
00:40:26.240 --> 00:40:29.560
I always prayed, God, help him to wanna be my,

542
00:40:29.760 --> 00:40:32.440
help him to mature, help him to want to

543
00:40:32.440 --> 00:40:33.440
walk in this mantle.

544
00:40:33.440 --> 00:40:35.960
Now that never happened for my dad, unfortunately.

545
00:40:36.960 --> 00:40:40.440
My dad struggled with shame until the day he died.

546
00:40:41.440 --> 00:40:44.500
And he never could fully come and be a dad.

547
00:40:46.280 --> 00:40:48.480
And that was a sad thing.

548
00:40:48.480 --> 00:40:50.400
It's a sad thing that my dad was never able

549
00:40:50.400 --> 00:40:51.240
to show up for that.

550
00:40:51.240 --> 00:40:52.880
But one of the things I'll tell you is God sent

551
00:40:52.880 --> 00:40:55.360
other people in my life, like my grandpa.

552
00:40:55.360 --> 00:40:58.960
My grandfather was amazing, and he was a happy man.

553
00:40:59.800 --> 00:41:02.880
And I got to glean from that in my life.

554
00:41:02.880 --> 00:41:03.920
And there have been other people.

555
00:41:03.920 --> 00:41:05.760
So I'm saying these things to you guys

556
00:41:05.760 --> 00:41:09.840
because we sometimes start to believe it's our job

557
00:41:09.840 --> 00:41:12.360
to make these people happy, and it's not.

558
00:41:14.080 --> 00:41:16.300
Start with yourself first.

559
00:41:16.300 --> 00:41:19.380
This is what we started out tonight with, right?

560
00:41:19.380 --> 00:41:22.340
We work on healing in ourselves.

561
00:41:22.340 --> 00:41:25.280
Stop looking at everybody else and what they need to do

562
00:41:25.280 --> 00:41:26.640
and how they need to change.

563
00:41:26.640 --> 00:41:30.040
And if this guy, if I can just believe long enough

564
00:41:30.040 --> 00:41:33.040
for him to heal, well, then maybe we can be happy together.

565
00:41:33.040 --> 00:41:36.520
No, if you weren't here when we first started out tonight,

566
00:41:36.520 --> 00:41:38.400
I kind of drew the line there.

567
00:41:38.400 --> 00:41:41.600
You guys, we have to just work on us

568
00:41:43.000 --> 00:41:45.480
and allow God to let all the other things

569
00:41:45.480 --> 00:41:47.240
start to work itself out.

570
00:41:47.240 --> 00:41:49.100
And again, sometimes that doesn't happen

571
00:41:49.100 --> 00:41:50.160
this side of heaven.

572
00:41:50.160 --> 00:41:53.680
But I will tell you one thing, I 100% believe

573
00:41:53.680 --> 00:41:56.040
when I get to heaven, I'm gonna know my dad.

574
00:41:57.200 --> 00:41:58.760
And I'm gonna be able to be with him

575
00:41:58.760 --> 00:42:01.140
and there won't be any pain.

576
00:42:03.280 --> 00:42:04.920
That's a pretty incredible thing.

577
00:42:06.800 --> 00:42:08.760
All that stuff will be gone.

578
00:42:09.720 --> 00:42:12.600
And I will fully know him and he will fully know me.

579
00:42:12.600 --> 00:42:13.720
I just believe that.

580
00:42:13.720 --> 00:42:15.480
I don't know if it's true, but I believe it.

581
00:42:15.480 --> 00:42:17.480
I believe God's gonna give me that gift.

582
00:42:17.480 --> 00:42:18.600
That's what I believe.

583
00:42:19.860 --> 00:42:21.380
And it's gonna be awesome.

584
00:42:21.380 --> 00:42:24.360
So maybe for some of you, maybe that's a starting point

585
00:42:24.400 --> 00:42:28.480
is just not trying to please everybody all the time

586
00:42:28.480 --> 00:42:30.060
and make everybody happy.

587
00:42:31.480 --> 00:42:32.320
Here's another one.

588
00:42:32.320 --> 00:42:35.240
I'll never date or marry a Larry

589
00:42:35.240 --> 00:42:36.880
or a guy of a certain ethnicity

590
00:42:36.880 --> 00:42:38.320
or a guy with a certain job type.

591
00:42:38.320 --> 00:42:40.440
These are kind of like going to the never will I ever

592
00:42:40.440 --> 00:42:41.800
as it kind of crosses into those,

593
00:42:41.800 --> 00:42:43.440
but we're not doing never will I evers tonight.

594
00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:44.960
These are just vows.

595
00:42:44.960 --> 00:42:48.640
But the reality is some of us make inner vows

596
00:42:48.640 --> 00:42:51.240
after we have something go wrong in a relationship.

597
00:42:52.140 --> 00:42:54.180
I'll never trust a man ever again.

598
00:42:55.360 --> 00:42:59.040
Maybe some of you even had like things happen,

599
00:42:59.040 --> 00:43:00.400
you know, with a female.

600
00:43:00.400 --> 00:43:02.600
Like my sister also abused me sexually.

601
00:43:02.600 --> 00:43:04.160
It wasn't just my brothers.

602
00:43:07.440 --> 00:43:11.760
So I didn't feel safe with even like females either

603
00:43:11.760 --> 00:43:13.460
for a long time.

604
00:43:13.460 --> 00:43:15.560
So sometimes we'll have that stuff happen.

605
00:43:15.560 --> 00:43:17.200
Okay, let me make sure.

606
00:43:17.200 --> 00:43:18.020
Here's another one.

607
00:43:18.020 --> 00:43:20.320
I'll never let my guard down ever again.

608
00:43:21.320 --> 00:43:24.400
And then I wanna talk about always or never statements.

609
00:43:24.400 --> 00:43:26.880
We're almost ready to do breakout session.

610
00:43:28.200 --> 00:43:31.600
I want you to think about when or if you say things

611
00:43:31.600 --> 00:43:35.500
like that are statements that have always or never in them.

612
00:43:36.480 --> 00:43:39.100
For example, they always do that.

613
00:43:41.080 --> 00:43:43.880
Men always think women can't preach.

614
00:43:43.880 --> 00:43:46.460
One of the ladies put that in our phase three today

615
00:43:46.460 --> 00:43:47.940
and I responded to her.

616
00:43:47.980 --> 00:43:50.500
The reality is there's a lot of men and women out there

617
00:43:50.500 --> 00:43:52.380
that they're in denominations that tell them

618
00:43:52.380 --> 00:43:54.360
that women should not preach.

619
00:43:54.360 --> 00:43:57.420
So ladies, you're gonna hear that at some point

620
00:43:57.420 --> 00:43:59.620
if you believe that women should be able to preach

621
00:43:59.620 --> 00:44:01.820
and teach from the pulpit.

622
00:44:01.820 --> 00:44:04.780
And just understand that it's okay

623
00:44:04.780 --> 00:44:06.060
if some people believe that.

624
00:44:06.060 --> 00:44:07.540
You don't have to let that mess with you.

625
00:44:07.540 --> 00:44:08.900
Not all men believe that.

626
00:44:08.900 --> 00:44:12.340
I'm married to a man that thinks women can rock it.

627
00:44:12.340 --> 00:44:15.020
I preach from the pulpit now

628
00:44:15.020 --> 00:44:17.420
and he cheers me on and it's awesome.

629
00:44:18.300 --> 00:44:19.540
We wanna really be careful.

630
00:44:19.540 --> 00:44:21.780
They always do that or always or never statements

631
00:44:21.780 --> 00:44:25.080
where we kind of lump people into a category or something.

632
00:44:25.080 --> 00:44:27.680
I always get passed over.

633
00:44:28.740 --> 00:44:30.860
Do you believe that other people always get to go

634
00:44:30.860 --> 00:44:31.900
to the front of the line?

635
00:44:31.900 --> 00:44:34.540
And this is kind of symbolic theoretical right now.

636
00:44:34.540 --> 00:44:37.220
I'm not necessarily saying in line physically

637
00:44:37.220 --> 00:44:39.140
but some of y'all even believe that.

638
00:44:39.140 --> 00:44:40.600
You're standing on this long line

639
00:44:40.600 --> 00:44:41.900
and then all of a sudden like,

640
00:44:41.900 --> 00:44:44.300
okay, have y'all ever been in the grocery store

641
00:44:44.300 --> 00:44:46.060
and the line is forever long

642
00:44:46.060 --> 00:44:48.260
and you're waiting and waiting and waiting

643
00:44:48.260 --> 00:44:50.220
and then somebody else will walk up

644
00:44:50.220 --> 00:44:51.620
and somebody will turn their light on

645
00:44:51.620 --> 00:44:53.100
and be like, hey, you can come over here.

646
00:44:53.100 --> 00:44:56.220
And you're like, oh, I've been waiting.

647
00:44:56.220 --> 00:44:59.760
Anyone else ever have that happen?

648
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:25.500
Well, you know, sometimes now in my healed heart, I don't think much of it, like, okay, it's fine, like, I feel pretty patient here in the grocery store, but I was, when I wasn't healed, and I was, like, not happy, I would get mad about that, like, man, I've been waiting, why didn't you come over and ask me if I wanted to go up in that line, you know, like, it'd be this victim mentality that would come out all over the place, okay?

649
00:45:25.500 --> 00:45:53.000
So, do you believe that you always get passed over, do you believe that, you know, all your other friends get married first, all your other friends have babies first, all, like, these are all kind of the same things, and here's the reality, some of you, that is true, all of your other friends are married, but that doesn't mean you're not gonna be married, unless you partner with that, and that's the story you start telling yourself, what we believe we become.

650
00:45:53.000 --> 00:46:14.500
Men never come through for me, there's, again, always or never, men never come through for me, men never pick me, I'm never seen or noticed, that often partners with the I'm always passed over, by the way, I'm never seen or noticed partners with I'm always passed over.

651
00:46:14.500 --> 00:46:44.460
So, as a reminder, always or never statements or thoughts can signal to you areas that you have inner vows at work, so if you're like, I don't know if I have inner vows or not, A, number one, just pray, okay, even if you don't know them right away tonight, pray into this, God will start to show you, but number two, if you do tend to say things that have always or never statements in them, or things that are similar to that, that's gonna be a signal, okay, you have an inner vow in this,

652
00:46:44.460 --> 00:47:11.460
there's something you're believing internally, that you've partnered with, and you've vowed this thing, and it's causing you to be stuck, alright, so in the breakout session tonight, that's what you're gonna talk about, you're gonna talk about what inner vows or intrusive thoughts, if you're not sure of an inner vow, what are some of the intrusive thoughts you've been having, intrusive, like they just come in and bombard your mind, very negative kind of thoughts, that's what we're talking about,

653
00:47:11.460 --> 00:47:29.460
alright, and so, I'll put you into these breakout sessions, groups, excuse me, and then if you have some extra time when you're in there, talk about the question first, but get to know each other a little bit if you have time, hold on one sec, sorry, y'all,

654
00:47:29.460 --> 00:47:58.460
I feel like I always apologize, I've had so many allergies since I've moved to Florida, this is how it was when I first moved to Kentucky, I had these allergy issues for years, praise the Lord, I'm believing that it won't take as long this time, alright, so I'm gonna do 7 minutes, that should give you guys about 2 minutes and 15 seconds, so short, brief, and powerful, okay, and then go ahead and click, that's gonna pop up on your screen right now, click as quick as you can to get in that group so you have more time to talk,

655
00:47:59.460 --> 00:48:12.460
click, click, click, click, and then as they're in there, if some of you are staying in the main room because you're driving or you're not able to go on breakouts, I'm gonna pray here in a minute,

656
00:48:12.460 --> 00:48:41.460
we have someone from New Zealand, alright, Rebecca's from New Zealand, alright, Teresa, are you able to click to join, make sure I have people in rooms together, alright, I think we've got everyone kinda situated, Father, thank you so much for this night, we thank you, God, for everything that you're doing, we thank you for the revealings for healing that are happening,

657
00:48:42.460 --> 00:49:02.460
God, I pray that you would just continue to connect all the dots, Lord, where we've had any confusion, where we've felt stuck, where things have been really hard in our lives, I thank you that you would, just even as your word declares, that you would transform us by the renewing of our minds, that all things would pass away and behold, everything would become new,

658
00:49:02.460 --> 00:49:31.460
that we would turn away from old behaviorals, old patterns, God, that we would unbecome the versions of ourselves that are counterfeit identities, that are not a part of the identity that you originally created us to live into, and I thank you, God, for, Lord, revealing inner vows even now as ladies are talking, sorry, y'all, as ladies are talking in the groups, as people are here in this main room, even people that are gonna watch the live,

659
00:49:31.460 --> 00:50:00.460
God, I pray that you bring those things out of the darkness into the light, help them to even remember always or never statements or even notice them this week when they come to their minds or speak them out of their mouths, that you would just bring a revelation, like, oh, that's what Bethany was talking about this week, oh, my gosh, that's a thought I'm having, that's an area where I have a vow, God, I thank you for revelation, I thank you for insight that comes from heaven, God, I thank you that you would, I just saw kind of like, I heard the word reveal,

660
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.040
frame and then I saw somebody taking a photo so ladies I want you to imagine like God just helping

661
00:50:05.040 --> 00:50:10.480
all of you tonight like he's taking new photos he's trying to create a new frame for you to see

662
00:50:10.480 --> 00:50:15.280
things through but we have to recognize the frame that we've been looking at things through from

663
00:50:15.280 --> 00:50:20.880
like in the past so that we can see the new as well and so Lord we just thank you right now for

664
00:50:20.880 --> 00:50:27.200
helping us to see all the new things um in the areas that we have been been seeing things through

665
00:50:27.200 --> 00:50:34.960
a wrong lens through a wrong frame and a wrong perspective we thank you for healing for grace

666
00:50:34.960 --> 00:50:40.080
we thank you for changing the the soil in our hearts even right now as I'm flipping through

667
00:50:40.080 --> 00:50:48.560
the book ladies in chapter sorry I gotta see which one it is in chapter eight the oh thriving

668
00:50:48.560 --> 00:50:53.360
and not surviving chapter very fitting this is where Jackie talks about the different soil the

669
00:50:53.360 --> 00:50:59.600
wasteland soil this rocky soil the weedy soil and then the good soil so you want to check that part

670
00:50:59.600 --> 00:51:05.840
of chapter eight out in the book if you don't know about the soil in your heart and what the

671
00:51:05.840 --> 00:51:10.320
different types of soil even mean that will give you a good understanding of that um but I want

672
00:51:10.320 --> 00:51:15.040
you to know that God wants us to all grow into the good soil that's the kind of soil he wants

673
00:51:15.040 --> 00:51:20.800
in our hearts and then it does take time so remember to give yourself a lot of grace um and

674
00:51:20.800 --> 00:51:26.800
just continue to take steps forward and again remember that we heal day by day by day I used

675
00:51:26.800 --> 00:51:32.720
to hear um a really um Joyce Meyer I think is the minister she used to talk about God taking us from

676
00:51:32.720 --> 00:51:37.120
glory to glory to glory and that used to minister to me so much and that always comes back up in my

677
00:51:37.120 --> 00:51:42.400
spirit when I start talking about taking it day by day by day that we would take one step forward

678
00:51:42.400 --> 00:51:48.480
in our healing process every day Psalm 1 chapter 1 verse 3 in the Passion Translation says this

679
00:51:48.480 --> 00:51:54.320
he will be standing firm like a flourishing tree planted by God's design deeply rooted by the brooks

680
00:51:54.320 --> 00:52:02.720
of bliss bearing fruit in every season of his life he is never dry never fainting ever blessed

681
00:52:03.280 --> 00:52:08.800
ever prosperous and I want you to know that that is God's declaration over all of us tonight

682
00:52:08.800 --> 00:52:15.920
that he wants us to be ever blessed ever prosperous in every area of our lives that he

683
00:52:15.920 --> 00:52:21.440
wants us to be made completely whole lacking no good thing that means wholeness in every area

684
00:52:22.560 --> 00:52:28.160
this week we're starting to talk about in a new series called Hesed my husband can say it a lot

685
00:52:28.160 --> 00:52:34.320
better but um basically uh as I was working on a lesson for the little kids um we're gonna really

686
00:52:34.320 --> 00:52:39.840
focus on staying love so I want you to kind of just deposit that into you all tonight as well

687
00:52:39.840 --> 00:52:46.720
that God is the kind of God that stays just like Ruth stayed with Naomi she didn't leave even when

688
00:52:46.720 --> 00:52:50.960
Naomi was like hey you know go back to your original family you don't have to stay here

689
00:52:50.960 --> 00:52:58.080
she released her and Ruth what what does she do she chooses to stay she chooses to honor Naomi

690
00:52:58.080 --> 00:53:05.120
she goes out and works in the field to help provide so much beautiful um like language and

691
00:53:05.120 --> 00:53:11.600
words in that whole book of the Bible but I want you to understand that God is trying to convey his

692
00:53:11.600 --> 00:53:17.600
heart to you through that truth as well that God is a God who stays he doesn't abandon us he doesn't

693
00:53:17.600 --> 00:53:22.960
forsake us he doesn't he's not a trickster he doesn't dangle carrots in front of our faces

694
00:53:22.960 --> 00:53:28.960
and then be like oh just kidding I'm not gonna give that to you no he he's consistent and he

695
00:53:28.960 --> 00:53:37.280
shows up all along the way um Psalm 119 verse 76 in the Passion Translation says this

696
00:53:37.280 --> 00:53:44.080
send your kind mercy kiss to comfort me your servant just like you promised you would

697
00:53:45.040 --> 00:53:50.960
and I just feel led to say that and even kind of pause for those of you that have been struggling

698
00:53:50.960 --> 00:53:58.000
in any area of grief that God would bring his kind mercy kiss to comfort your heart to comfort

699
00:53:58.000 --> 00:54:05.920
your mind and your spirit tonight just like he promised he would again he is faithful he shows up

700
00:54:06.960 --> 00:54:13.120
and he continues to show up and he's not going to ever turn away from us Jeremiah 24 verse 7 says I

701
00:54:13.120 --> 00:54:18.000
will give them hearts that recognize me as the Lord they will be my people and I will be their

702
00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:24.320
God for they will return to me wholeheartedly again there's that wholeness that being made

703
00:54:24.400 --> 00:54:30.080
whole completely whole lacking no good thing and God is rewriting our stories he's trying to help

704
00:54:30.080 --> 00:54:36.480
us redirect recalibrate to understand new good things about ourselves God we just thank you

705
00:54:36.480 --> 00:54:42.160
right now that you would just um yeah we thank you for new programming to help our eyes to see what

706
00:54:42.160 --> 00:54:47.680
your spirit sees to our ears to hear what your spirit is saying louder than any voice of the

707
00:54:47.680 --> 00:54:53.040
enemy we thank you God that you would protect our minds from any onslaught of the enemy any

708
00:54:53.040 --> 00:54:59.840
lies that he sends our way that we would um yeah just continue to have the loving kindnesses of

709
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.920
that lead us to repentance, that we would hear those things and that we would choose to turn

710
00:55:05.920 --> 00:55:12.000
away from things that are not serving us well, ways of sin and living below the abundant good

711
00:55:12.000 --> 00:55:16.160
life that God has for us, even in our minds and the way that we think about ourselves and other

712
00:55:16.160 --> 00:55:22.240
people. We thank you, God. In Psalm 139, verse 14, it says, I will give thanks and praise to you,

713
00:55:22.240 --> 00:55:29.920
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well.

714
00:55:31.040 --> 00:55:35.440
So just a reminder tonight that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. God didn't make mistakes

715
00:55:35.440 --> 00:55:41.040
with us. He didn't mess up. He didn't create us and be like, oh my gosh, put it back, put it back,

716
00:55:41.040 --> 00:55:48.320
put it back. I didn't want it. I messed up. No, he was like, man, she's awesome. She's everything I

717
00:55:48.320 --> 00:55:55.440
wanted her to be. I'm so amazed at this creation that has come forth. So we want to, we want to

718
00:55:55.440 --> 00:56:01.280
meditate on those things and lean into that and lean into the identity of who God has created us

719
00:56:01.280 --> 00:56:07.440
to be. Welcome back, ladies. So glad to have you joining us again. Our activations for this week,

720
00:56:07.440 --> 00:56:11.440
they're going to be up in the group. So if you're not sure where to find them, you're going to go

721
00:56:11.440 --> 00:56:17.440
to the community tab and you'll see the activation post there in the text will be the information

722
00:56:17.520 --> 00:56:23.200
about the activations. But there are two activations this week. Number one, I talked

723
00:56:23.200 --> 00:56:27.600
about it tonight. Caught a thought. I call this one. I caught a thought. You want to track your

724
00:56:27.600 --> 00:56:32.800
thoughts this week. I want you to pay attention. How many negative thoughts are you having?

725
00:56:33.840 --> 00:56:38.000
Are you stopping those negative thoughts? Are you catching them a little quicker?

726
00:56:38.000 --> 00:56:41.040
Here, here's the thing. When you do this, don't get down on yourself. Okay.

727
00:56:42.000 --> 00:56:45.840
This is just a met like kind of help you measure and start to pay attention.

728
00:56:45.840 --> 00:56:51.040
Some of y'all are going to be like, Oh man, I used to like think on this for weeks and now

729
00:56:51.040 --> 00:56:56.880
I only thought about it for a day. That's growth. I want you to celebrate that stuff,

730
00:56:56.880 --> 00:57:01.840
but we have to start by first recognizing the things that are keeping us stuck. That is negative,

731
00:57:01.840 --> 00:57:06.000
kind of that stinking thinking, if you will. And then I want you to create a post in the group and

732
00:57:06.000 --> 00:57:10.800
tell us about it. What, what's the negative thoughts you caught? All right. Number two,

733
00:57:10.800 --> 00:57:15.520
inner vows. And again, as you understand them, as you recognize them, that would be when you

734
00:57:15.760 --> 00:57:21.360
do this. Hopefully a majority of you will recognize them pretty quickly. Create a post

735
00:57:21.360 --> 00:57:26.560
in the group about what the Lord has been revealing to you about inner vows. And if you're

736
00:57:26.560 --> 00:57:31.280
like, okay, I heard this tonight. I still don't get it. You can come into the group and say that

737
00:57:31.280 --> 00:57:36.720
and we'll help you. Okay. So don't, don't isolate. Let us like, there's never going to be a dumb

738
00:57:36.720 --> 00:57:43.280
question. Ladies ever, ever. We're never going to shame you for a question that you ask. Even if

739
00:57:43.280 --> 00:57:47.360
you ask about guys, I'm going to lovingly, hopefully you feel that love. I'm going to

740
00:57:47.360 --> 00:57:53.040
lovingly be like, Hey, remember in heartwork, you're not dating. We ask you to press pause,

741
00:57:53.040 --> 00:57:58.160
you know, and we're going to kind of redirect you in that. But you know, we can't make you do

742
00:57:58.160 --> 00:58:02.480
anything. It's your choice, but we're going to encourage you to press pause on dating.

743
00:58:04.080 --> 00:58:08.160
But that's kind of the biggest thing, or if someone just, I recognize a lot of really

744
00:58:08.160 --> 00:58:12.720
broken thinking, I'm going to try to lovingly be like, Hey, want to encourage you kind of

745
00:58:12.720 --> 00:58:16.560
to shift out of this mindset, but it's never going to be a dumb question.

746
00:58:19.040 --> 00:58:25.120
Explain more on declarations. So like positive declarations are, for example,

747
00:58:25.120 --> 00:58:31.120
what I have done in my life is like, if I was thinking something negative, I would find the

748
00:58:31.120 --> 00:58:36.560
truth to replace that lie, which we kind of walk you guys through. I will go through the revealing

749
00:58:36.560 --> 00:58:41.440
for healing cycle. I think it's two weeks from now, I think, where I'll walk you all through

750
00:58:41.440 --> 00:58:47.040
that a little more, how to get to the truth to replace the lie. But then I will form like a

751
00:58:47.040 --> 00:58:55.920
declaration statement out of that truth. So it might sound like I, Bethany Cooper, am more than

752
00:58:55.920 --> 00:59:02.240
a conqueror through Christ Jesus. I am enabled to do abundantly above all God, like I could ever

753
00:59:02.240 --> 00:59:08.240
ask, think, or imagine, you know, like I might just start using scripture to like declare positive

754
00:59:08.240 --> 00:59:13.760
things about my life and my direction and what God has for me. But those come from truth. That's not

755
00:59:13.760 --> 00:59:19.520
so much just again, like forming something. It typically, I love to do it when I'm really feeling

756
00:59:19.520 --> 00:59:23.600
and sensing God healing something. And then I want to write a positive declaration. Sometimes I'll

757
00:59:23.600 --> 00:59:29.200
just do it with scripture, like I said, and that's been really effective for me. So great question,

758
00:59:29.200 --> 00:59:33.440
Kaylee. All right. Awesome. So those are the activations. Be looking for those posted in the

759
00:59:33.440 --> 00:59:40.080
group. And then I'm going to go ahead and go to Yash first, and then Lisa after Yash.

760
00:59:41.600 --> 00:59:49.360
Thanks, Bethany. I'll make it quick. So I think some of the intrusive thoughts that

761
00:59:49.360 --> 00:59:55.840
take my inner peace for the past couple of years would have been actually is legalism.

762
00:59:55.840 --> 00:59:59.760
This has been hiding for

763
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.560
for years, because I kind of, you know, put it back. But when I was doing the hard work,

764
01:00:04.560 --> 01:00:11.840
I realized that it came up more. It's like it surfaced more. And I was thinking what

765
01:00:11.840 --> 01:00:17.520
really causes because I got to know the Lord when I was 30. And I was born as a Buddhist.

766
01:00:17.520 --> 01:00:24.320
So there were a lot of rituals involved. And even when I didn't want to go to the temple every week,

767
01:00:24.320 --> 01:00:28.560
but my mother dragged me, you know, but I liked it or not, it was kind of a command.

768
01:00:28.560 --> 01:00:33.040
So I was wondering whether that has anything to do with it. But if you have any helpful tips,

769
01:00:33.040 --> 01:00:37.040
Bethany, I mean, I would love to hear it, because I've been really struggling with this.

770
01:00:37.040 --> 01:00:41.760
And even when I pray to God, I kind of pray a couple of times. And I wonder whether God heard

771
01:00:41.760 --> 01:00:49.120
my prayer. So I know that's crazy at times. But I'm really open to hear any of your recommendations.

772
01:00:50.880 --> 01:00:54.640
Yeah. So tell me, like, how does the legalistic thought show up today?

773
01:00:54.640 --> 01:00:56.320
Like, what does that sound like now?

774
01:00:59.280 --> 01:01:04.480
Whether God heard me, or whether did I pray to God correctly?

775
01:01:05.280 --> 01:01:08.160
Did I reverend him correctly? Things like that.

776
01:01:11.040 --> 01:01:15.760
Okay, so it could be legalism, but I actually think it might be perfectionism, Yash.

777
01:01:16.400 --> 01:01:16.900
Okay.

778
01:01:18.720 --> 01:01:25.280
So the legalism is more like, shame based, which it is a little bit of that there. But

779
01:01:25.280 --> 01:01:31.760
there's this level of, you know, striving, not feeling good enough, that's kind of underlying

780
01:01:31.760 --> 01:01:37.040
in what you're just saying there. Like, did I pray to God enough? Did I do it right enough?

781
01:01:37.040 --> 01:01:42.640
Like, all those kind of things that can, like I said, it's almost like legalism and perfectionism

782
01:01:42.960 --> 01:01:48.400
partnering together and having a little baby, you know. And so we want to look at, okay,

783
01:01:49.200 --> 01:01:54.000
yeah, you're going to have to unprogram some of that stuff. But one of the things we talk about

784
01:01:54.000 --> 01:01:57.840
in this community is that hurt in community, healed in community. One of the ways you're

785
01:01:57.840 --> 01:02:04.720
going to heal is by like, going and experiencing church now. So like, when you pray, you know,

786
01:02:05.440 --> 01:02:10.160
talking, I mean, there are times where I don't talk to the devil a lot, but like,

787
01:02:11.040 --> 01:02:15.360
like where I'm like, I'm not going to listen to that today. And then I'll declare the positive

788
01:02:15.360 --> 01:02:21.520
thing over myself. So for example, if I was you, I would just be like, I know that the Lord loves me

789
01:02:21.520 --> 01:02:27.840
and that he heard my prayer and I have grace in how much I prayed. Like, I'm just going to start

790
01:02:27.840 --> 01:02:33.440
like standing up against that stuff instead of always questioning myself, always, you know,

791
01:02:33.440 --> 01:02:38.240
doubting and, and believing that I didn't pray enough or that I'm not holy enough to go, you

792
01:02:38.240 --> 01:02:43.520
know, back in the day, you know, they wouldn't let the people into the tabernacle, right? They

793
01:02:43.520 --> 01:02:49.120
kept the people on the outside, the religious leaders, that's where the legalism comes in.

794
01:02:49.120 --> 01:02:53.840
But the reality is, is the door is open to you because it was open through Jesus Christ.

795
01:02:54.960 --> 01:02:59.520
But it's whether or not you believe the door is open to you and you're not being held on the

796
01:02:59.520 --> 01:03:05.520
outside, like you're not good enough to come in. And that's, you know, that internal dialogue is

797
01:03:05.520 --> 01:03:11.840
going to come through again, receiving the truth, standing up against the lies and, and literally

798
01:03:11.840 --> 01:03:18.800
just like, God, I trust that I am, I have grace and that your blood covers me that I'm free in Jesus

799
01:03:18.800 --> 01:03:24.720
Christ. You know, and, and I'll tell you, sometimes it is just the enemy coming in, trying to convince

800
01:03:24.720 --> 01:03:30.720
us that we're not Christian enough. We're not good enough. Um, and so, I mean, literally the other

801
01:03:30.720 --> 01:03:38.080
day, I was sick or like last week a little bit. And so I just wasn't feeling like myself. And, um,

802
01:03:38.080 --> 01:03:42.160
the enemy was just trying to like, kind of get on me about like, I hadn't done enough kind of same

803
01:03:42.160 --> 01:03:45.440
thing you're saying. Like I hadn't done enough. I hadn't prayed enough. I hadn't read the Bible

804
01:03:45.440 --> 01:03:53.040
enough. Well, here's the reality. The word of God is in me. It's in me. It's in me. Yes. I 100%

805
01:03:53.040 --> 01:03:59.280
love to read the word of God. I believe it's important, but I don't think that that's all

806
01:03:59.280 --> 01:04:05.920
there is to me as a Christian, as a daughter. This, the spirit of God lives in me and I am with

807
01:04:05.920 --> 01:04:14.800
him and he is with me and I can abide in him all the time. And so again, like I have, I have to

808
01:04:14.800 --> 01:04:19.920
talk to myself, even as I'm saying this out loud to you, it's kind of reaffirming things God was

809
01:04:19.920 --> 01:04:26.640
already talking to me about when I was going through that this week. Well, last week, but

810
01:04:26.640 --> 01:04:30.960
like kind of the tail end of last week. So hopefully that's helpful for you ladies. We

811
01:04:30.960 --> 01:04:36.480
really have to, the more that the days get darker, I'm just going to not in the sense of just scary,

812
01:04:36.480 --> 01:04:41.680
but we just have to be aware of this stuff. As the days get darker, we are going to encounter

813
01:04:41.680 --> 01:04:47.360
this stuff more. So we have to continue to remember we're covered by the blood.

814
01:04:48.240 --> 01:04:53.600
Jesus died to set us free. He died so that we could be one with him and the father and the Holy

815
01:04:53.600 --> 01:04:59.760
Spirit. And we're covered even if we never did another thing.

816
01:05:00.880 --> 01:05:02.320
We are abundantly loved.

817
01:05:05.120 --> 01:05:08.720
And basking in those truths, Josh, I think is going to be a good thing for you.

818
01:05:09.920 --> 01:05:11.120
Okay, thank you so much.

819
01:05:11.120 --> 01:05:12.160
You're welcome.

820
01:05:12.160 --> 01:05:13.280
Yeah, great question.

821
01:05:13.280 --> 01:05:14.240
Really, really good question.

822
01:05:14.960 --> 01:05:16.400
Lisa, go ahead.

823
01:05:17.680 --> 01:05:21.760
I have a feeling that Catherine Clark was before me, but I don't know.

824
01:05:23.440 --> 01:05:25.200
Well, I can go to Catherine next.

825
01:05:25.200 --> 01:05:25.680
It's okay.

826
01:05:27.600 --> 01:05:28.080
It's okay.

827
01:05:28.080 --> 01:05:30.240
I saw you're on my box next.

828
01:05:30.240 --> 01:05:31.120
It's okay, Lisa.

829
01:05:31.920 --> 01:05:32.640
Oh, okay.

830
01:05:34.560 --> 01:05:39.440
Yeah, so actually, this is so interesting that this is all coming up tonight because

831
01:05:39.440 --> 01:05:43.680
about six weeks ago, I got really triggered when I was being coached by you.

832
01:05:44.480 --> 01:05:50.720
And I realized I was mad and I just held it in.

833
01:05:51.680 --> 01:05:53.280
But I'm very aware.

834
01:05:53.280 --> 01:05:56.640
I'm not saying I'm always aware right away, but I had to look at that.

835
01:05:56.640 --> 01:05:58.240
I was like, why am I so mad?

836
01:06:00.800 --> 01:06:03.280
So basically, I'll tie that in in a minute.

837
01:06:04.880 --> 01:06:10.080
So what that was about, I was sharing and you had made a comment and you said,

838
01:06:10.080 --> 01:06:12.400
Lisa, why didn't you take somebody with you?

839
01:06:12.400 --> 01:06:16.560
And my immediate response was, no one's ever there for me.

840
01:06:17.440 --> 01:06:18.960
I was going to be like, are you kidding?

841
01:06:18.960 --> 01:06:20.000
No one's ever there for me.

842
01:06:20.800 --> 01:06:23.600
That was the height of my tone in my head.

843
01:06:24.320 --> 01:06:26.160
And I held it back.

844
01:06:26.160 --> 01:06:31.840
But I also said that I hadn't shared this with anybody, this topic.

845
01:06:31.840 --> 01:06:38.240
And also, personally, truthfully, I was very happy to be on my own and confront

846
01:06:38.240 --> 01:06:42.720
this person who had molested me after all these years as an adult, being able to come

847
01:06:42.720 --> 01:06:48.560
to him and speak for myself from a child when he had molested me.

848
01:06:48.560 --> 01:06:50.000
So anyway, that was one thing.

849
01:06:50.000 --> 01:06:51.840
And I just haven't circled back with it yet.

850
01:06:52.720 --> 01:06:53.920
Part of it was I wasn't ready.

851
01:06:53.920 --> 01:06:56.960
Then I got sidetracked, just super busy on something else right now.

852
01:06:56.960 --> 01:06:59.440
But then tonight, I was at Walgreens.

853
01:06:59.440 --> 01:07:00.640
This is like an hour ago.

854
01:07:01.760 --> 01:07:04.880
And I just thought, oh, how fascinating that this is all kind of connecting.

855
01:07:05.440 --> 01:07:06.480
I was at Walgreens.

856
01:07:06.480 --> 01:07:07.840
I'm standing in line.

857
01:07:07.840 --> 01:07:09.360
There's one cashier.

858
01:07:09.360 --> 01:07:10.960
She's helping somebody.

859
01:07:10.960 --> 01:07:16.400
And then there's another cashier working in the photo department, like right next to her,

860
01:07:16.400 --> 01:07:17.600
the counter over.

861
01:07:17.600 --> 01:07:21.040
And she's putting all these film, you know, these people's pictures together, whatever,

862
01:07:21.040 --> 01:07:22.560
putting them in a bag and putting them away.

863
01:07:22.560 --> 01:07:25.600
And I'm thinking to myself, OK, does she just like not see me?

864
01:07:25.600 --> 01:07:26.560
Like, hello.

865
01:07:28.000 --> 01:07:32.240
And so I thought, OK, well, Lisa, instead of being mad about it, why don't you just go

866
01:07:32.240 --> 01:07:33.120
talk to her?

867
01:07:33.120 --> 01:07:36.720
And so I went over there and I was like, excuse me.

868
01:07:36.720 --> 01:07:38.400
I go, is your register open?

869
01:07:39.040 --> 01:07:40.960
Giving her the benefit of the doubt, right?

870
01:07:40.960 --> 01:07:43.920
And she's like, well, it could be.

871
01:07:44.800 --> 01:07:47.520
And I was like, reacted.

872
01:07:47.520 --> 01:07:52.480
I don't normally get like this, but I was like, I said, I guess, are you telling me

873
01:07:52.480 --> 01:07:53.600
that you're not going to help me?

874
01:07:55.920 --> 01:07:57.680
I was pretty confrontational, right?

875
01:07:57.680 --> 01:07:59.600
I was like, so are you telling me you're not going to help me?

876
01:08:00.480 --> 01:08:04.320
And she was then she backpedaled.

877
01:08:04.320 --> 01:08:06.880
I felt I think she I know she felt really bad.

878
01:08:06.880 --> 01:08:10.640
And she's like, oh, what I was trying to say is that my register is not open yet, but I'm

879
01:08:10.640 --> 01:08:11.760
happy to open it for you.

880
01:08:13.120 --> 01:08:16.240
And so I was like, oh, I said, OK, you know.

881
01:08:16.319 --> 01:08:20.560
And then there's these people in the background who had just gotten their photo taken for

882
01:08:20.560 --> 01:08:22.000
a visa or something.

883
01:08:22.000 --> 01:08:24.240
And I could feel this lady staring at me.

884
01:08:24.240 --> 01:08:28.000
And I was looking down and I was like, man, I have so much shame right now.

885
01:08:28.000 --> 01:08:32.960
Like, I can't even look at her because I felt like my reaction just wasn't my tone wasn't

886
01:08:32.960 --> 01:08:33.279
nice.

887
01:08:33.279 --> 01:08:35.279
There was a better way I could have responded.

888
01:08:35.279 --> 01:08:35.520
Right.

889
01:08:36.160 --> 01:08:39.760
And so then I was like, OK, this is really not cool.

890
01:08:40.720 --> 01:08:42.399
I was still kind of mad, you know.

891
01:08:43.120 --> 01:08:47.439
And then I was just like, oh, and then this cashier is like being just overly nice to

892
01:08:47.439 --> 01:08:47.920
me now.

893
01:08:47.920 --> 01:08:53.120
And so I'm sure and then I felt really bad because I thought, oh, gosh, she feels horrible

894
01:08:53.120 --> 01:08:55.600
because she's totally trying to compensate now.

895
01:08:55.600 --> 01:08:59.359
And then I'm thinking to myself, you know, I hope her manager didn't hear.

896
01:08:59.359 --> 01:09:03.920
And now she's trying to really make it known that like, hey, I'm here to help this woman,

897
01:09:03.920 --> 01:09:05.920
you know, all this dialogue in my head.

898
01:09:05.920 --> 01:09:07.359
Of course, you can tell.

899
01:09:07.359 --> 01:09:14.319
And I just was like, yeah, but then I got my car and I'm like, wow, Lisa, like, what's

900
01:09:14.319 --> 01:09:14.960
wrong with you?

901
01:09:14.960 --> 01:09:18.240
Like, that was really like that really wasn't very nice.

902
01:09:18.240 --> 01:09:21.359
And then I was just like, you know, I'm just upset right now.

903
01:09:21.359 --> 01:09:25.359
I just didn't think that was cool, you know, but I'm like, man, I wish I would have handled

904
01:09:25.359 --> 01:09:28.160
that different because I didn't have to go that way, you know, and it's not like it was

905
01:09:28.160 --> 01:09:30.240
the end of the world, but I sure paid for it.

906
01:09:30.240 --> 01:09:31.600
I didn't feel good about myself.

907
01:09:33.279 --> 01:09:35.600
Yeah, so a couple of things, a couple of things.

908
01:09:36.319 --> 01:09:37.439
I'm getting a little feedback.

909
01:09:37.439 --> 01:09:38.479
Hold on one second.

910
01:09:38.479 --> 01:09:40.080
You might have to unmute here in a sec.

911
01:09:40.080 --> 01:09:42.479
I just have to mute you while I'm talking because I'm getting feedback.

912
01:09:44.000 --> 01:09:44.800
So a couple of things.

913
01:09:44.800 --> 01:09:50.080
I think it's really great that you even were able to say out loud that something I said

914
01:09:50.080 --> 01:09:50.960
offended you all.

915
01:09:50.960 --> 01:09:52.240
Y'all, it's okay.

916
01:09:52.240 --> 01:09:53.680
I can take it as a coach.

917
01:09:53.680 --> 01:09:55.760
Some of y'all are going to get offended.

918
01:09:55.760 --> 01:09:58.400
Remember that offense is an opportunity for an upgrade.

919
01:09:58.960 --> 01:09:59.840
Hey.

920
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.560
Sometimes you're going to hear something that I say,

921
01:10:02.560 --> 01:10:04.520
and I didn't mean it in the sense that,

922
01:10:04.520 --> 01:10:06.240
hey, you should question yourself

923
01:10:06.240 --> 01:10:08.040
about taking someone with you.

924
01:10:08.040 --> 01:10:09.920
I love that you were able to say tonight,

925
01:10:09.920 --> 01:10:12.860
hey, I really felt good about going on my own.

926
01:10:12.860 --> 01:10:15.920
I felt like I needed to do that, and that's great.

927
01:10:15.920 --> 01:10:18.160
But it is okay for me to bring on the flip side

928
01:10:18.160 --> 01:10:21.620
because there's so many people watching these sessions

929
01:10:21.620 --> 01:10:24.680
that I want to make sure not everybody's going to be equipped

930
01:10:24.680 --> 01:10:27.300
even though I'm only coaching Lisa in that moment,

931
01:10:27.300 --> 01:10:28.840
I'm coaching the whole room,

932
01:10:28.840 --> 01:10:30.860
as well as everybody that's going to watch the replay.

933
01:10:30.860 --> 01:10:35.300
And not everybody should go and face their abuser

934
01:10:35.300 --> 01:10:37.340
in person by themselves.

935
01:10:37.340 --> 01:10:40.740
And so I can understand why that might have felt

936
01:10:40.740 --> 01:10:42.640
not great in that moment,

937
01:10:42.640 --> 01:10:45.100
but I love that you brought it back tonight

938
01:10:45.100 --> 01:10:48.140
when you're ready, which is good.

939
01:10:48.140 --> 01:10:49.940
Hopefully in that,

940
01:10:49.940 --> 01:10:51.760
it sounds like you were able to kind of like,

941
01:10:51.760 --> 01:10:55.380
okay, Lord, why did this cause me to be upset?

942
01:10:55.400 --> 01:10:58.920
But then interesting tonight that it happened at Walgreens

943
01:10:58.920 --> 01:11:00.960
kind of essentially the same thing,

944
01:11:00.960 --> 01:11:03.520
because what you said is no one's ever there for me.

945
01:11:03.520 --> 01:11:05.760
That's what you heard that night.

946
01:11:05.760 --> 01:11:09.500
And tonight, basic, you're like, does she not see me?

947
01:11:10.860 --> 01:11:13.840
Which is very similar language, right?

948
01:11:13.840 --> 01:11:17.480
So underneath of that, ladies, what we want to look at

949
01:11:17.480 --> 01:11:20.840
is, okay, Lord, what is the root of these things?

950
01:11:22.240 --> 01:11:24.280
And we can think that we know,

951
01:11:24.700 --> 01:11:26.540
sometimes we do, we're like, okay,

952
01:11:26.540 --> 01:11:29.220
I know that this goes back to this thing,

953
01:11:29.220 --> 01:11:31.660
but we should still ask the Lord, like, okay,

954
01:11:31.660 --> 01:11:34.680
is there something else I'm not seeing about this situation

955
01:11:34.680 --> 01:11:37.020
or this root or this trauma

956
01:11:38.060 --> 01:11:43.060
that's still causing me to have the lie come up so much

957
01:11:43.140 --> 01:11:45.640
that I'm not seen, that I'm passed over,

958
01:11:45.640 --> 01:11:47.920
that nobody's really there for me.

959
01:11:47.920 --> 01:11:49.340
I have to do life alone.

960
01:11:49.340 --> 01:11:50.340
I've always been alone.

961
01:11:50.340 --> 01:11:51.720
I always will be, you know,

962
01:11:51.720 --> 01:11:53.520
like where we start to then go down,

963
01:11:53.520 --> 01:11:56.620
what happens is once we believe that first lie,

964
01:11:56.620 --> 01:11:58.580
then a whole flood of things, right?

965
01:11:59.540 --> 01:12:01.820
Which is what was unfolding in the store.

966
01:12:01.820 --> 01:12:04.820
And I am also very glad that you recognized

967
01:12:04.820 --> 01:12:07.100
that shame entered the room

968
01:12:08.520 --> 01:12:11.380
because now you have more information.

969
01:12:11.380 --> 01:12:13.040
Shame, guilt, and condemnation

970
01:12:13.040 --> 01:12:14.820
are all from the enemy, you all.

971
01:12:18.300 --> 01:12:22.940
So, Lisa, what was the dialogue

972
01:12:22.940 --> 01:12:24.720
when you felt shame?

973
01:12:25.560 --> 01:12:27.840
Was it, I'm just gonna ask you a couple of questions

974
01:12:27.840 --> 01:12:29.080
that I want you to answer.

975
01:12:29.080 --> 01:12:31.880
Was it, you're bad?

976
01:12:31.880 --> 01:12:34.440
Was it, you should know better?

977
01:12:34.440 --> 01:12:39.440
Was it, like, how dare you talk to someone that,

978
01:12:40.120 --> 01:12:44.960
like, what was the underlying dialogue regarding the shame?

979
01:12:47.640 --> 01:12:48.520
Such a good question.

980
01:12:48.520 --> 01:12:49.920
This might take me a moment.

981
01:12:50.420 --> 01:12:51.900
Okay, thanks.

982
01:12:51.900 --> 01:12:53.740
Okay, I'm just gonna go with how it felt.

983
01:12:53.740 --> 01:12:56.660
That's gonna be the way I can think I can get to this.

984
01:12:56.660 --> 01:12:58.540
So I just remember looking down

985
01:12:58.540 --> 01:13:01.300
and I could tell this person was looking at me.

986
01:13:01.300 --> 01:13:02.940
And then I think it's just,

987
01:13:02.940 --> 01:13:06.620
I think I just felt rude in the way my tone of voice was.

988
01:13:07.580 --> 01:13:12.080
And that's what I felt shame about was like,

989
01:13:12.980 --> 01:13:14.700
and it's interesting what's coming up right now.

990
01:13:14.700 --> 01:13:16.500
I was raised and probably a lot of people

991
01:13:16.500 --> 01:13:18.220
from my generation were raised like this.

992
01:13:18.240 --> 01:13:20.920
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

993
01:13:20.920 --> 01:13:22.680
That's what's coming up right now.

994
01:13:22.680 --> 01:13:23.520
Okay.

995
01:13:23.520 --> 01:13:24.840
That's the way I was raised.

996
01:13:24.840 --> 01:13:27.800
All right, so yeah, and this is really good, Lisa.

997
01:13:27.800 --> 01:13:29.840
So a couple of things.

998
01:13:29.840 --> 01:13:32.120
I also feel like it's interesting.

999
01:13:32.120 --> 01:13:35.000
You said regarding the girl at the cash register,

1000
01:13:35.000 --> 01:13:37.240
does she not see me?

1001
01:13:37.240 --> 01:13:38.800
And then what's happening here

1002
01:13:38.800 --> 01:13:40.840
is you feel this lady looking at you.

1003
01:13:40.840 --> 01:13:42.940
I feel the Holy Spirit.

1004
01:13:42.940 --> 01:13:44.640
You feel this lady looking at you,

1005
01:13:44.660 --> 01:13:49.660
but now it's like, oh, now she sees the ugly part of me.

1006
01:13:51.420 --> 01:13:52.500
Well, that was a different lady.

1007
01:13:52.500 --> 01:13:53.740
That was a customer looking at me.

1008
01:13:53.740 --> 01:13:55.820
I know it's a different lady, but I'm saying to you,

1009
01:13:55.820 --> 01:13:58.760
look at this flip thing that's happening here.

1010
01:13:58.760 --> 01:14:01.300
You didn't feel seen by the girl at the register.

1011
01:14:01.300 --> 01:14:03.520
You're like, does she even see me?

1012
01:14:04.700 --> 01:14:07.620
And then after you had this reaction,

1013
01:14:07.620 --> 01:14:10.100
now you're actually seen by someone

1014
01:14:10.100 --> 01:14:13.340
and you're like hiding, like, oh my gosh.

1015
01:14:13.360 --> 01:14:15.280
Does that make sense, what I'm saying?

1016
01:14:15.280 --> 01:14:16.120
Yeah, that's really interesting.

1017
01:14:16.120 --> 01:14:19.480
It's both about being seen, right?

1018
01:14:19.480 --> 01:14:20.960
And then you said,

1019
01:14:22.800 --> 01:14:24.400
if you don't have anything nice to say,

1020
01:14:24.400 --> 01:14:26.040
don't say anything at all.

1021
01:14:26.040 --> 01:14:28.400
Okay, I really want you to look into that this week

1022
01:14:28.400 --> 01:14:31.680
with the Lord because sometimes that's said to us

1023
01:14:31.680 --> 01:14:33.320
when we're actually in pain

1024
01:14:33.320 --> 01:14:36.040
and we're trying to convey that we're in pain,

1025
01:14:36.040 --> 01:14:38.800
but we're saying it in a way that maybe a parent

1026
01:14:38.800 --> 01:14:41.500
or a teacher or a guardian doesn't like it

1027
01:14:41.500 --> 01:14:43.240
or it makes them uncomfortable.

1028
01:14:44.100 --> 01:14:47.040
That's why I even said what I said in the beginning.

1029
01:14:47.040 --> 01:14:49.380
Is it ever uncomfortable for a coach to hear like,

1030
01:14:49.380 --> 01:14:50.940
oh, you said something that offended me?

1031
01:14:50.940 --> 01:14:55.180
Yeah, but that's not your problem.

1032
01:14:55.180 --> 01:14:56.340
Do you know what I'm saying?

1033
01:14:56.340 --> 01:14:58.780
And I'm sure enough that I can handle that,

1034
01:14:58.780 --> 01:15:00.180
but sometimes people are.

1035
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.440
are in situations where they don't know how to handle what someone is saying to them,

1036
01:15:04.440 --> 01:15:06.200
including parents.

1037
01:15:06.200 --> 01:15:09.120
And so they'll say these kind of shameful things.

1038
01:15:09.120 --> 01:15:10.940
Again, there's that shame.

1039
01:15:10.940 --> 01:15:12.300
It's like a shameful tone.

1040
01:15:12.300 --> 01:15:15.840
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

1041
01:15:15.840 --> 01:15:21.200
Like basically what you're saying right now isn't valuable.

1042
01:15:21.200 --> 01:15:22.200
Okay.

1043
01:15:22.200 --> 01:15:23.200
Okay.

1044
01:15:23.200 --> 01:15:31.840
So the two layers are, you didn't feel seen, no one's ever there for you, those kinds of

1045
01:15:31.840 --> 01:15:36.160
things partnering with, then you were seen and you're like, oh my gosh, she sees me right

1046
01:15:36.160 --> 01:15:37.160
now.

1047
01:15:37.160 --> 01:15:38.160
And I just act it that way.

1048
01:15:38.160 --> 01:15:41.200
And again, I'm not trying to put thoughts in your mind, but I'm just interpreting like

1049
01:15:41.200 --> 01:15:44.040
how I feel when I mess up in front of people.

1050
01:15:44.040 --> 01:15:49.160
And I'm like, oh, I don't want you to see that part of me.

1051
01:15:49.160 --> 01:15:53.800
And I think the other thing too, that I'm recognizing right now is that I think I always

1052
01:15:53.800 --> 01:15:55.320
want to be seen in a good light.

1053
01:15:55.320 --> 01:15:57.800
Like I want people to like me.

1054
01:15:57.800 --> 01:16:00.520
And I think a lot of us go through that, right?

1055
01:16:00.520 --> 01:16:05.640
And so it's, you know, that's not a way for people to really get a good impression of

1056
01:16:05.640 --> 01:16:10.440
you if you're kind of in your mind, if you feel like you're coming across like not very

1057
01:16:10.440 --> 01:16:11.440
nice in your tone.

1058
01:16:11.440 --> 01:16:12.440
Right.

1059
01:16:12.440 --> 01:16:13.440
You know?

1060
01:16:13.440 --> 01:16:14.440
So, but I do hear you.

1061
01:16:14.440 --> 01:16:18.760
I think that's something really good for me to really look at because it was interesting.

1062
01:16:19.360 --> 01:16:22.520
I mean, right as I was, you know, processing this all with you, the thing that came to

1063
01:16:22.520 --> 01:16:25.400
my head was like, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

1064
01:16:25.400 --> 01:16:26.400
And that was my mom.

1065
01:16:26.400 --> 01:16:29.480
That was what my mom would say to me, you know?

1066
01:16:29.480 --> 01:16:36.120
And so I was really quick to, you know, take action with what she told me.

1067
01:16:36.120 --> 01:16:37.120
Right.

1068
01:16:37.120 --> 01:16:38.120
Like, yeah.

1069
01:16:38.120 --> 01:16:39.440
And then I would get upset at other people.

1070
01:16:39.440 --> 01:16:41.520
I'd think like, gosh, how can they be so mean?

1071
01:16:41.520 --> 01:16:43.800
Like, you know, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

1072
01:16:43.800 --> 01:16:46.720
Like I wouldn't say that, but I would think it right because it was very programmed in

1073
01:16:46.720 --> 01:16:47.720
me.

1074
01:16:47.720 --> 01:16:48.720
Yeah.

1075
01:16:49.680 --> 01:16:50.680
Okay.

1076
01:16:50.680 --> 01:16:51.680
Well, I have two more things and then I'm going to go to Catherine, but I feel like

1077
01:16:51.680 --> 01:16:54.080
this will help a lot of other people in addition to you.

1078
01:16:54.080 --> 01:17:00.200
So you said, you know, it's making you realize that kind of highlighting that whole, I want

1079
01:17:00.200 --> 01:17:02.560
people to like me.

1080
01:17:02.560 --> 01:17:08.000
Number one, do you believe that you're likable?

1081
01:17:08.000 --> 01:17:09.000
I do.

1082
01:17:09.000 --> 01:17:10.000
Okay.

1083
01:17:10.000 --> 01:17:17.320
Like deep down, not just in your head knowledge, deep down, do you Lisa Mendrix think you're

1084
01:17:17.320 --> 01:17:22.360
a likable person and getting to the core of that?

1085
01:17:22.360 --> 01:17:24.040
Because here's the reality.

1086
01:17:24.040 --> 01:17:30.440
If we don't think we're likable, not just when we're on good behavior and doing everything

1087
01:17:30.440 --> 01:17:36.960
right, but do you think you're likable even when you mess up?

1088
01:17:36.960 --> 01:17:37.960
Because here's the reality.

1089
01:17:37.960 --> 01:17:38.960
No, I don't.

1090
01:17:38.960 --> 01:17:39.960
I don't.

1091
01:17:39.960 --> 01:17:44.040
Most of us don't, but get this, get, get, get this.

1092
01:17:44.040 --> 01:17:46.560
You guys got to get this deep.

1093
01:17:46.800 --> 01:17:53.600
The reality is when you're married, that person is going to see your ugliness from time to

1094
01:17:53.600 --> 01:17:57.000
time because we all have flesh.

1095
01:17:57.000 --> 01:17:58.000
I feel the Holy spirit.

1096
01:17:58.000 --> 01:17:59.000
I'll just tell you.

1097
01:17:59.000 --> 01:18:00.000
Thank you.

1098
01:18:00.000 --> 01:18:01.000
Father.

1099
01:18:01.000 --> 01:18:02.000
We all have flesh.

1100
01:18:02.000 --> 01:18:03.000
We all fall short.

1101
01:18:03.000 --> 01:18:06.120
You guys are getting an echo.

1102
01:18:06.120 --> 01:18:12.840
And so the reality is, is we're all going to like have somebody seeing that stuff.

1103
01:18:12.840 --> 01:18:19.680
And we want to get set free from the shame and stuff now so that when you're married,

1104
01:18:19.680 --> 01:18:28.200
I mean, of course, hopefully a lot of it and majority of it is great, but I'll never forget

1105
01:18:28.200 --> 01:18:32.960
the first time Brian was like, I love you.

1106
01:18:32.960 --> 01:18:42.080
Even when you make mistakes, I mean, he makes mistakes too, and I love him, but so many

1107
01:18:42.120 --> 01:18:44.920
of us kind of goes back full circle to when I started tonight.

1108
01:18:44.920 --> 01:18:50.440
So many of us like we're so busy helping everybody else, but when it comes to us, we're kind

1109
01:18:50.440 --> 01:18:52.000
of put ourself on the back burner.

1110
01:18:52.000 --> 01:18:56.080
So many of us struggle to receive full acceptance.

1111
01:18:56.080 --> 01:19:04.680
Yes, Lord, full acceptance from the father, from people.

1112
01:19:04.680 --> 01:19:11.240
People work in companies and, you know, they put up masks and they pretend because heaven

1113
01:19:11.240 --> 01:19:16.040
forbid they're not, you know, they got to be everything to all people at all times and

1114
01:19:16.040 --> 01:19:18.080
they can't ever make mistakes even there.

1115
01:19:18.080 --> 01:19:22.920
You know, we got, we have to really look at this stuff, ladies.

1116
01:19:22.920 --> 01:19:23.920
Yeah.

1117
01:19:23.920 --> 01:19:24.920
Yeah.

1118
01:19:24.920 --> 01:19:27.040
Thank you so much, Bethany.

1119
01:19:27.040 --> 01:19:31.800
I just got one more thing and that's that I oftentimes don't feel like I'm good enough.

1120
01:19:31.800 --> 01:19:36.000
And I know it's for my parents leaving when I was 15 and I didn't live with my parents

1121
01:19:36.000 --> 01:19:39.400
my last years of high school and a lot of stuff happened after that.

1122
01:19:39.440 --> 01:19:41.960
So there's some deep stuff there.

1123
01:19:41.960 --> 01:19:45.480
And I did want to just circle back, not that I'm here to fix your feelings, but I hope

1124
01:19:45.480 --> 01:19:51.880
you've heard me say, yeah, no, you don't even have to remember I'm in charge of my feelings

1125
01:19:51.880 --> 01:19:52.880
and I'm good.

1126
01:19:52.880 --> 01:19:54.040
I, I promise you.

1127
01:19:54.040 --> 01:19:55.480
So we're, we're all good.

1128
01:19:55.480 --> 01:19:59.880
I was just talking about that because I think it's important for people to know.

1129
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.060
Like, I get offended at people sometimes.

1130
01:20:04.060 --> 01:20:09.820
So we're all going to feel offense, but let, you know, will we let God use that to bring

1131
01:20:09.820 --> 01:20:11.820
about healing in us?

1132
01:20:11.820 --> 01:20:15.660
That's the question, you know, so yeah, I think it's really, really good, but thank

1133
01:20:15.660 --> 01:20:16.660
you so much.

1134
01:20:16.660 --> 01:20:17.660
You're, you're, you're good.

1135
01:20:17.660 --> 01:20:19.180
And I'm good.

1136
01:20:19.180 --> 01:20:21.500
And yeah, I love it.

1137
01:20:21.500 --> 01:20:24.140
This was a really great coaching session with you tonight.

1138
01:20:24.140 --> 01:20:25.140
Love it.

1139
01:20:25.140 --> 01:20:26.140
It's always good.

1140
01:20:26.140 --> 01:20:27.140
So much.

1141
01:20:27.140 --> 01:20:28.140
Always good.

1142
01:20:28.140 --> 01:20:29.140
Yeah.

1143
01:20:29.140 --> 01:20:31.500
And I'm going to try and affirm her a little bit right now, because I know that that takes

1144
01:20:31.500 --> 01:20:34.300
a lot of courage to say those kinds of things too.

1145
01:20:34.300 --> 01:20:35.300
So appreciate you.

1146
01:20:35.300 --> 01:20:36.300
Catherine.

1147
01:20:36.300 --> 01:20:37.300
Thank you.

1148
01:20:37.300 --> 01:20:38.300
Oh, you're welcome, Lisa.

1149
01:20:38.300 --> 01:20:39.300
Catherine, go ahead.

1150
01:20:39.300 --> 01:20:49.280
Well, I remember to start off with like last, last week I omitted about being on the spectrum.

1151
01:20:49.280 --> 01:20:56.180
So going through school and everything, I've always said that I was going to do better.

1152
01:20:56.180 --> 01:20:58.100
I wasn't going to be on disability.

1153
01:20:58.100 --> 01:20:59.500
I wasn't going to be on anything.

1154
01:20:59.500 --> 01:21:02.800
I was going to like succeed and do good in society.

1155
01:21:02.800 --> 01:21:08.900
So to start off with being a single mom, being in a place where I pretty much have my son

1156
01:21:08.900 --> 01:21:12.380
all the time, he's special needs, not easy to find a babysitter.

1157
01:21:12.380 --> 01:21:17.460
And even then, childcare costs are through the roof with everything else and inflation.

1158
01:21:17.460 --> 01:21:23.980
So to sit there and to try to ask for governmental assistance isn't easy to begin with as it

1159
01:21:23.980 --> 01:21:24.980
is.

1160
01:21:24.980 --> 01:21:33.260
But, you know, and I know I kept calling DSS up here a lot after applying for food stamps

1161
01:21:33.260 --> 01:21:37.420
for like the third time.

1162
01:21:37.420 --> 01:21:42.620
I never could get it on Long Island, but, you know, at the time I didn't die or die

1163
01:21:42.620 --> 01:21:43.620
or need it.

1164
01:21:43.620 --> 01:21:44.660
I was living with my parents.

1165
01:21:44.660 --> 01:21:47.300
This is me trying to do it on my own now.

1166
01:21:47.300 --> 01:21:51.060
And these have gone through from all this.

1167
01:21:51.060 --> 01:22:00.060
So credit cards, having to rely on credit cards more just to live, using the cash back

1168
01:22:00.060 --> 01:22:04.020
not to feel like, oh, my gosh, like things are that expensive.

1169
01:22:04.020 --> 01:22:09.140
So I applied for that during my spring break.

1170
01:22:09.140 --> 01:22:12.740
And I kept calling them and the whole thing because I really was afraid I was going to

1171
01:22:12.740 --> 01:22:16.020
sit around and wait around for a month for a rejection.

1172
01:22:16.020 --> 01:22:18.540
And that's exactly what happened.

1173
01:22:18.540 --> 01:22:21.500
So of course, I lost it.

1174
01:22:21.500 --> 01:22:25.180
Anger is deadly, hurts bodyguard.

1175
01:22:25.180 --> 01:22:28.060
But I'm also tired of fighting for things.

1176
01:22:28.060 --> 01:22:35.340
And I've had an ill feeling towards the government since 2020 anyway, with both the I can't leave.

1177
01:22:35.340 --> 01:22:42.260
I have to be like in quarantine and I can't go out and I can't.

1178
01:22:42.260 --> 01:22:45.500
So I kind of hated the government's 2020.

1179
01:22:45.500 --> 01:22:50.220
So to go through this on top of it, it's like I've already like hurt with them and

1180
01:22:50.220 --> 01:22:51.700
things are like rised up.

1181
01:22:51.700 --> 01:22:55.700
And I also have a difference of political opinions with them, too, because I can tell

1182
01:22:55.700 --> 01:23:01.820
they're blaming a candidate that I have an opposite view on.

1183
01:23:01.820 --> 01:23:03.140
So that just didn't go over well.

1184
01:23:03.140 --> 01:23:08.180
I'm like, oh, here we go, blaming that person again for something they're doing.

1185
01:23:08.180 --> 01:23:13.420
But here I am, Lord, like, where am I going to get breakthrough?

1186
01:23:13.420 --> 01:23:14.740
Where's my help?

1187
01:23:14.820 --> 01:23:15.820
I asked for help.

1188
01:23:15.820 --> 01:23:17.260
I get none.

1189
01:23:17.260 --> 01:23:24.540
And man, I hate paying income taxes to New York to pay for things that I can't use them

1190
01:23:24.540 --> 01:23:25.700
when I need it.

1191
01:23:25.700 --> 01:23:29.860
So the whole thing is just it's just really got me disgusted.

1192
01:23:29.860 --> 01:23:32.300
And then this is why I think things like I wish I was the president.

1193
01:23:32.300 --> 01:23:33.300
I wish I was the governor.

1194
01:23:33.300 --> 01:23:40.580
I wish I was in the government, I really am.

1195
01:23:40.580 --> 01:23:41.580
I can't hear you.

1196
01:23:41.580 --> 01:23:42.580
Oh, you're muted.

1197
01:23:42.580 --> 01:23:44.220
I was like, I couldn't hear you.

1198
01:23:44.220 --> 01:23:45.220
Sorry.

1199
01:23:45.220 --> 01:23:47.620
I'm like trying to talk to you and I'm muted.

1200
01:23:47.620 --> 01:23:49.660
So that was really awesome.

1201
01:23:49.660 --> 01:23:53.980
A couple things coming up on that.

1202
01:23:53.980 --> 01:23:55.540
Number one, I think it'd be really good.

1203
01:23:55.540 --> 01:23:58.540
And I don't know that I've ever talked about this on a session before.

1204
01:23:58.540 --> 01:24:00.500
And I'm not going to go too far into this.

1205
01:24:00.500 --> 01:24:05.540
So we're not going to talk government talk, but I think this is really applicable tonight.

1206
01:24:05.540 --> 01:24:07.940
I think you need to forgive the government.

1207
01:24:07.940 --> 01:24:10.700
I think that that's kind of a layer.

1208
01:24:10.700 --> 01:24:15.020
There's one layer of the healing here for the ways that you feel like the government

1209
01:24:15.020 --> 01:24:16.700
hasn't been there for you.

1210
01:24:16.700 --> 01:24:18.380
But here's the reality.

1211
01:24:18.380 --> 01:24:22.020
You said, I asked for help and I get none.

1212
01:24:22.020 --> 01:24:26.980
I think this lie is something you believed before the government incidences.

1213
01:24:26.980 --> 01:24:33.700
You know, whether it's from the ex, the parents, whatever that looks like for you, that you

1214
01:24:33.700 --> 01:24:37.540
would really lean into where did that lie take root?

1215
01:24:37.540 --> 01:24:40.900
I asked for help and I get none.

1216
01:24:40.900 --> 01:24:47.620
And really lean into healing all the layers and all the people that have done things that

1217
01:24:47.620 --> 01:24:53.540
have hurt you that led like when that lie would present itself essentially.

1218
01:24:53.540 --> 01:24:56.140
And then you partnered with that lie.

1219
01:24:56.140 --> 01:24:59.940
And then when the pressure, remember earlier I was saying when the pressure gets applied,

1220
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.580
Lies tend to surface and kind of bubble out and they kind of rage out.

1221
01:25:03.580 --> 01:25:06.060
Sometimes that's what's happening right now.

1222
01:25:07.140 --> 01:25:10.500
The, the, the tough thing is, you know, we're all going to face, you

1223
01:25:10.500 --> 01:25:15.120
know, nose in our life, we're all going to face things where the door is closed.

1224
01:25:15.380 --> 01:25:19.540
And so what I want you to partner with is instead of it looking, and I know

1225
01:25:19.540 --> 01:25:23.100
this can be really hard because you need financial help, but instead of

1226
01:25:23.100 --> 01:25:29.340
looking at, at it, like rejection, maybe it is a redirection, maybe it's a not yet.

1227
01:25:29.900 --> 01:25:34.180
You know, and I'm not trying to give you false hope, but like, sometimes, you

1228
01:25:34.180 --> 01:25:40.320
know, we become the most, um, get the most ingenuity, if you will, when we

1229
01:25:40.320 --> 01:25:46.540
have to come up with like, okay, this answer is no over here, so Lord, what

1230
01:25:46.540 --> 01:25:53.540
can I do right now to change the dynamic of what I'm living in, right?

1231
01:25:53.720 --> 01:25:56.860
Because I'll tell you what, there was, there was a time when I didn't have

1232
01:25:56.860 --> 01:26:00.080
money coming in and I was single and trying to pay all the bills and trying

1233
01:26:00.080 --> 01:26:03.640
to support my spiritual daughters as well, because their dad wasn't able to

1234
01:26:03.640 --> 01:26:05.120
do it and their mom wasn't doing it.

1235
01:26:05.260 --> 01:26:06.520
She had checked out.

1236
01:26:07.200 --> 01:26:11.040
And I remember thinking like, I'm taking care of kids that aren't even mine.

1237
01:26:14.380 --> 01:26:15.520
God, I need help.

1238
01:26:15.880 --> 01:26:19.400
And I, it wasn't the government for government, for me, it was, I believe

1239
01:26:19.400 --> 01:26:23.080
the lie that God wasn't there for me and God wasn't coming through for me.

1240
01:26:23.540 --> 01:26:27.640
And the more that I believe those lies and partnered with them, the more I

1241
01:26:27.640 --> 01:26:33.020
believed it and the easier it became to say that over and over and over again.

1242
01:26:33.980 --> 01:26:39.580
It was harder to resist that lie and say, you know what, this is really hard right

1243
01:26:39.580 --> 01:26:42.060
now, but God, I know that you love me.

1244
01:26:42.180 --> 01:26:44.140
God, I know that you're a good provider.

1245
01:26:44.280 --> 01:26:47.820
God, I believe that you're going to help me figure out how to come up with, you

1246
01:26:48.000 --> 01:26:52.920
know, either I work a couple extra hours over here or God, I cut back on my

1247
01:26:52.920 --> 01:26:57.560
spending here, like whatever, you know, I had to get kind of like, have that

1248
01:26:57.560 --> 01:27:03.400
ingenuity, have that creative ability to seek God about a solution and take action

1249
01:27:03.400 --> 01:27:03.840
on things.

1250
01:27:04.200 --> 01:27:08.280
And sometimes that was stuff that was easy to figure out and sometimes it took

1251
01:27:08.280 --> 01:27:15.640
time, but a lot of the times it always led back to me shifting, me growing, me

1252
01:27:15.640 --> 01:27:19.540
healing, me starting to see money differently.

1253
01:27:19.940 --> 01:27:27.820
Um, a lot of people see money as kind of like a weapon, not a resource, right?

1254
01:27:28.500 --> 01:27:30.820
And the enemy just kind of holds this stuff over us.

1255
01:27:30.820 --> 01:27:32.100
Like we have no freedom.

1256
01:27:34.260 --> 01:27:37.840
And if we believe those things and we partner with those things, then what

1257
01:27:37.840 --> 01:27:40.740
member, what I said, we believe what we become.

1258
01:27:41.300 --> 01:27:44.900
If you believe you're always going to be somebody that doesn't have enough, that

1259
01:27:44.900 --> 01:27:47.600
you're never going to have what you need, that, what did you say?

1260
01:27:47.720 --> 01:27:51.400
I asked for help and nobody, like I get none.

1261
01:27:51.400 --> 01:27:52.520
Nobody wants to help me.

1262
01:27:52.520 --> 01:27:56.000
Nobody cares about me, whatever the other dialogues are.

1263
01:27:57.020 --> 01:27:59.240
Again, it's easier to believe those things.

1264
01:27:59.300 --> 01:28:00.000
It is.

1265
01:28:00.720 --> 01:28:04.600
It's harder to believe the truth, especially when our member, I said

1266
01:28:04.600 --> 01:28:10.760
earlier, the neuropathways literally in our brain are telling us they don't love

1267
01:28:10.940 --> 01:28:11.320
you.

1268
01:28:11.940 --> 01:28:13.460
So we got to get to the source.

1269
01:28:13.460 --> 01:28:16.460
We have to get to where did this start?

1270
01:28:18.580 --> 01:28:23.620
Who's the first person that you felt like, man, I really, I was asking them for

1271
01:28:23.620 --> 01:28:25.900
help and they didn't hear me.

1272
01:28:25.900 --> 01:28:26.900
They didn't see me.

1273
01:28:26.900 --> 01:28:28.060
They didn't pay attention.

1274
01:28:28.060 --> 01:28:33.580
They didn't come through for me and forgive those people as well.

1275
01:28:34.460 --> 01:28:35.300
It's really important.

1276
01:28:35.500 --> 01:28:37.500
Catherine, you're making so much progress.

1277
01:28:37.540 --> 01:28:40.660
I know that it might not feel like that, but I know that you're making

1278
01:28:40.660 --> 01:28:45.360
it feel like that sometimes because you've been going through a lot, but I

1279
01:28:45.360 --> 01:28:47.480
see you growing a ton.

1280
01:28:48.400 --> 01:28:51.120
Keep going, keep going, don't give up.

1281
01:28:51.160 --> 01:28:54.680
And even when it's hard, you come into the group and you post and you let us

1282
01:28:54.680 --> 01:28:56.720
coach you and you come on the lives.

1283
01:28:56.960 --> 01:29:00.520
And one day, one day there's going to be this breakthrough.

1284
01:29:00.520 --> 01:29:04.120
All this stuff is going to start to kind of create this momentum and it's going

1285
01:29:04.120 --> 01:29:06.560
to tip the bowl, if you will.

1286
01:29:07.200 --> 01:29:10.540
And there's going to be all these other blessings and things that God has been

1287
01:29:10.540 --> 01:29:13.160
preparing for you and he's not withholding.

1288
01:29:14.040 --> 01:29:19.760
He's preparing you to be able to contain it, to have the capacity to receive it.

1289
01:29:20.520 --> 01:29:21.040
Okay.

1290
01:29:22.160 --> 01:29:27.680
See how that, that there's like a shift in thinking there, ladies from God is

1291
01:29:27.680 --> 01:29:30.600
withholding from me, the government's withholding from me.

1292
01:29:30.600 --> 01:29:31.880
I never get what I need.

1293
01:29:31.880 --> 01:29:37.160
I'm always rejected to God.

1294
01:29:37.160 --> 01:29:38.560
I trust you.

1295
01:29:38.600 --> 01:29:39.920
You're a good father.

1296
01:29:39.940 --> 01:29:44.220
I trust that you're preparing me to receive the blessings that you're going

1297
01:29:44.220 --> 01:29:46.220
to lead me into in the days ahead.

1298
01:29:46.760 --> 01:29:50.380
God, even right now, when I feel hurt and alone, I feel rejected.

1299
01:29:50.380 --> 01:29:55.580
I trust that you're going to redirect me onto the right path, that somehow God,

1300
01:29:55.580 --> 01:29:58.760
you're going to provide for me and you're going to help me to partner

1301
01:29:58.760 --> 01:29:59.940
with you in the process.

1302
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:07.640
There's just a totally different shift when we start thinking and talking like that.

1303
01:30:07.640 --> 01:30:14.640
And again, sometimes, ladies, we have to start speaking the truth before we get the truth

1304
01:30:14.640 --> 01:30:15.640
in here.

1305
01:30:15.640 --> 01:30:18.320
But getting the truth in here is going to happen through the heart work and through

1306
01:30:18.320 --> 01:30:21.680
the healing and the unpacking the lies that we've believed.

1307
01:30:21.680 --> 01:30:26.960
So that's the getting to the root of the matter, Catherine.

1308
01:30:26.960 --> 01:30:33.160
It's interesting even with all of that with me even having to ask the government for help

1309
01:30:33.160 --> 01:30:39.480
because truth be told, what I really would have wanted is a second job I can do online

1310
01:30:39.480 --> 01:30:44.640
because the problem is who can watch my son?

1311
01:30:44.640 --> 01:30:46.400
He's not easy.

1312
01:30:46.400 --> 01:30:50.520
And then I don't want all that money for my second job just going to babysitting because

1313
01:30:50.520 --> 01:30:53.840
then I'm working all those hours and I'm not getting ahead.

1314
01:30:54.200 --> 01:30:58.400
And I say this to God, it's like, well, I'm the one who like has him like his dad doesn't

1315
01:30:58.400 --> 01:30:59.400
really have him.

1316
01:30:59.400 --> 01:31:04.480
And then now we're like 200 and, you know, over 200 miles away from him, but he wasn't

1317
01:31:04.480 --> 01:31:06.720
really doing anything anyway.

1318
01:31:06.720 --> 01:31:09.760
And then of course, he was into drugs, so he couldn't.

1319
01:31:09.760 --> 01:31:15.800
But am I hearing you say what you really want?

1320
01:31:15.800 --> 01:31:20.760
What you really want from God is a second job that you can do and you can work from

1321
01:31:20.760 --> 01:31:21.760
home.

1322
01:31:21.760 --> 01:31:22.760
Is that what I hear you saying?

1323
01:31:22.760 --> 01:31:25.400
It's like there's something where I don't have to worry about a babysitting that.

1324
01:31:25.400 --> 01:31:28.120
Because it's like I was always fine with then give me another job.

1325
01:31:28.120 --> 01:31:31.560
I'll work around the clock, but then what do I do with this kid?

1326
01:31:31.560 --> 01:31:33.640
It's always been about that.

1327
01:31:33.640 --> 01:31:34.720
This is what we're going to do right now.

1328
01:31:34.720 --> 01:31:39.560
We're going to pause and everybody's going to agree with me and we're going to pray for

1329
01:31:39.560 --> 01:31:42.480
a new job for Catherine, for a new second job for Catherine.

1330
01:31:42.480 --> 01:31:43.480
Okay.

1331
01:31:43.480 --> 01:31:44.480
That's what we're going to do right now.

1332
01:31:44.480 --> 01:31:46.720
Father, thank you so much for Catherine.

1333
01:31:46.720 --> 01:31:48.880
God, you see her heart's desire.

1334
01:31:48.880 --> 01:31:53.680
You see the dynamics that she needs to be able to be there to care for her son without

1335
01:31:53.680 --> 01:31:55.840
having a second job outside of the home.

1336
01:31:55.840 --> 01:31:59.080
God, you know that she needs more income coming in to provide.

1337
01:31:59.080 --> 01:32:03.400
God, we thank you for doors of opportunity opening at the right appointed time.

1338
01:32:03.400 --> 01:32:05.680
God, I pray that you would increase her faith.

1339
01:32:05.680 --> 01:32:09.800
God, where she has doubt, where she has unbelief, give her faith.

1340
01:32:09.800 --> 01:32:12.080
Pour out a fresh measure of faith upon her.

1341
01:32:12.080 --> 01:32:16.040
God, I thank you that you would show her the right places to go, the right people and the

1342
01:32:16.040 --> 01:32:17.040
connections.

1343
01:32:17.040 --> 01:32:20.600
God, that you would just bring people that she doesn't even know that you would put Catherine

1344
01:32:20.600 --> 01:32:23.360
on their minds before they even meet her.

1345
01:32:23.360 --> 01:32:27.280
God, whether it's looking in the paper or looking online or a person that like just

1346
01:32:27.280 --> 01:32:31.560
has an opportunity that she maybe hasn't even met yet, or maybe she's met them and, and

1347
01:32:31.560 --> 01:32:33.240
just God, they don't even know she has a need.

1348
01:32:33.240 --> 01:32:36.600
God, I thank you that you'll just start to bring all these things together.

1349
01:32:36.600 --> 01:32:37.600
God.

1350
01:32:37.600 --> 01:32:42.720
Lord, when there's fear, God, we ask for your love to ground her because your perfect love

1351
01:32:42.720 --> 01:32:44.360
casts out all fear.

1352
01:32:44.360 --> 01:32:45.360
Fear has to do with torment.

1353
01:32:45.680 --> 01:32:50.480
So we just ask you to protect her mind, protect her heart, help her to continue to walk into

1354
01:32:50.480 --> 01:32:54.120
the fullness of everything that you have for her, God, that you would hedge your in on

1355
01:32:54.120 --> 01:32:55.120
every side.

1356
01:32:55.120 --> 01:32:58.480
And then when the enemy comes in like a flood, God, we know that your word declares that

1357
01:32:58.480 --> 01:33:00.720
you raise up a standard against him.

1358
01:33:00.720 --> 01:33:04.160
And we say that the enemy cannot torment her in this area anymore.

1359
01:33:04.160 --> 01:33:05.760
God, we thank you for jobs.

1360
01:33:05.760 --> 01:33:06.960
We thank you for opportunities.

1361
01:33:06.960 --> 01:33:12.200
We thank you for financial provision, God, and let it be so, and let it be so soon and

1362
01:33:12.200 --> 01:33:13.840
very soon.

1363
01:33:13.840 --> 01:33:14.840
And Jesus name.

1364
01:33:14.840 --> 01:33:15.840
Amen.

1365
01:33:15.840 --> 01:33:16.840
Amen.

1366
01:33:16.840 --> 01:33:17.840
Amen.

1367
01:33:17.840 --> 01:33:22.960
We believe with you and, and Hey, it may manifest right away.

1368
01:33:22.960 --> 01:33:25.760
It might just happen soon.

1369
01:33:25.760 --> 01:33:30.520
It might happen in a week, but no matter what I want to encourage you, keep believing that

1370
01:33:30.520 --> 01:33:32.320
God is a good father.

1371
01:33:32.320 --> 01:33:35.480
Who's going to lead you into good things.

1372
01:33:35.480 --> 01:33:39.280
Years ago, I can remember praying for money to fix my teeth.

1373
01:33:39.280 --> 01:33:41.760
I had a couple root canals that needed done.

1374
01:33:42.320 --> 01:33:46.000
I grew up in a family where just my teeth have been weak and all that.

1375
01:33:46.000 --> 01:33:47.920
I didn't know where it was going to come from.

1376
01:33:47.920 --> 01:33:48.920
I asked God for it.

1377
01:33:48.920 --> 01:33:52.640
I asked God for it and see the enemy would just, he would just keep saying, yeah, see,

1378
01:33:52.640 --> 01:33:53.640
God doesn't care.

1379
01:33:53.640 --> 01:33:58.880
God doesn't care, but y'all God was giving me money and I was choosing to spend it on

1380
01:33:58.880 --> 01:33:59.880
the girls.

1381
01:33:59.880 --> 01:34:10.000
That's not a bad thing, but I chose that, but you know what God is so good that several

1382
01:34:10.040 --> 01:34:16.040
years later in this last year, God gave my husband and I all the money that we needed

1383
01:34:16.040 --> 01:34:20.040
to not just get my teeth fixed, but to get his done.

1384
01:34:20.040 --> 01:34:24.880
Y'all, it might not manifest right away or it might, and we might use the resources for

1385
01:34:24.880 --> 01:34:27.360
something else.

1386
01:34:27.360 --> 01:34:33.400
We have to be willing to look at those things too, right?

1387
01:34:33.400 --> 01:34:41.240
But again, the enemy wants us to believe the lie and walk in those things.

1388
01:34:41.240 --> 01:34:43.000
It's easier to do that.

1389
01:34:43.000 --> 01:34:48.120
A fish going upstream when all the others are going downstream.

1390
01:34:48.120 --> 01:34:51.520
It's a lot harder, isn't it?

1391
01:34:51.520 --> 01:34:55.880
So you guys are going upstream and you're thinking right now.

1392
01:34:55.880 --> 01:34:59.200
You're fighting against all the other negative things trying to pull you backwards, but you're

1393
01:34:59.200 --> 01:35:00.000
going against it.

1394
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.000
And over time, you're gonna create a new groove.

1395
01:35:04.000 --> 01:35:08.400
It's gonna start to like become like a part of who you are

1396
01:35:08.400 --> 01:35:12.480
to believe in the God that loves you, that provides for you.

1397
01:35:13.880 --> 01:35:18.200
Y'all, I can remember the first time I heard someone pray

1398
01:35:18.200 --> 01:35:21.520
and say like, God is putting your name

1399
01:35:21.520 --> 01:35:24.040
on someone's mind and heart right now.

1400
01:35:24.040 --> 01:35:26.440
And just thinking like, what?

1401
01:35:26.440 --> 01:35:27.820
Is that even possible?

1402
01:35:28.820 --> 01:35:32.180
Y'all, I believe now more than ever that that is possible

1403
01:35:33.100 --> 01:35:34.460
because I've seen it happen.

1404
01:35:34.460 --> 01:35:36.140
I've experienced things like this

1405
01:35:36.140 --> 01:35:39.340
where you just, you come into a situation.

1406
01:35:39.340 --> 01:35:42.820
Before I came into this community and took the coaching,

1407
01:35:42.820 --> 01:35:46.620
I was praying for somebody to partner with

1408
01:35:46.620 --> 01:35:48.340
to help people heal in their hearts.

1409
01:35:48.340 --> 01:35:51.620
I led an online ministry retreat weekend

1410
01:35:51.620 --> 01:35:52.980
called Healing Hearts.

1411
01:35:52.980 --> 01:35:54.880
That was my Healing Hearts retreat.

1412
01:35:55.880 --> 01:35:59.960
Lo and behold, God brings Jackie into my life.

1413
01:36:01.280 --> 01:36:03.640
At first it was to take her course.

1414
01:36:03.640 --> 01:36:06.840
I had no clue that I would end up working for her

1415
01:36:06.840 --> 01:36:09.580
in this community the last five years.

1416
01:36:10.440 --> 01:36:12.040
It's been an incredible journey.

1417
01:36:12.960 --> 01:36:16.120
I could have never imagined this myself.

1418
01:36:18.000 --> 01:36:19.600
God knew.

1419
01:36:21.320 --> 01:36:24.520
And little by little, one step at a time, he led me here.

1420
01:36:25.560 --> 01:36:28.800
Y'all better believe I've had to have a lot of faith

1421
01:36:28.800 --> 01:36:30.840
to stay, not because I don't love it,

1422
01:36:30.840 --> 01:36:32.920
but five years of warring against the enemy

1423
01:36:32.920 --> 01:36:34.480
because we're doing this work,

1424
01:36:35.640 --> 01:36:39.780
it takes faith to stay, right?

1425
01:36:39.780 --> 01:36:42.120
So some of you all, it's gonna take faith

1426
01:36:42.120 --> 01:36:46.760
to stay in the upstream, in the positive thinking.

1427
01:36:47.800 --> 01:36:48.720
All right?

1428
01:36:48.720 --> 01:36:50.520
But I wanna encourage you to go there.

1429
01:36:50.520 --> 01:36:52.040
I am gonna have to end the session tonight

1430
01:36:52.040 --> 01:36:53.560
because I have another thing here coming up.

1431
01:36:53.560 --> 01:36:55.520
I'm so sorry, Wendy and Arianne.

1432
01:36:55.520 --> 01:36:57.400
Will you guys come into the group and post in the group

1433
01:36:57.400 --> 01:36:58.240
what you were gonna share

1434
01:36:58.240 --> 01:37:00.520
so that I can give you some feedback there, please,

1435
01:37:00.520 --> 01:37:01.800
or my team can.

1436
01:37:01.800 --> 01:37:02.740
I love you, ladies.

1437
01:37:02.740 --> 01:37:03.920
It's been an amazing night.

1438
01:37:03.920 --> 01:37:04.760
God bless you.

1439
01:37:04.760 --> 01:37:06.160
I'm gonna pray us out.

1440
01:37:06.160 --> 01:37:08.680
Father, thank you so much for everything that you're doing.

1441
01:37:08.680 --> 01:37:11.200
God, thank you for rewriting our stories,

1442
01:37:11.200 --> 01:37:14.260
reframing our minds, God, retuning things.

1443
01:37:14.260 --> 01:37:16.200
God, I thank you that you would give us the tenacity,

1444
01:37:16.200 --> 01:37:18.920
the perseverance, the courage, and the grace

1445
01:37:18.920 --> 01:37:21.280
to swim upstream in our thinking, God.

1446
01:37:21.720 --> 01:37:23.400
We thank you for transforming us

1447
01:37:23.400 --> 01:37:24.600
by the renewing of our minds,

1448
01:37:24.600 --> 01:37:26.720
that all old things literally would pass away

1449
01:37:26.720 --> 01:37:29.160
and behold, everything would become new in us

1450
01:37:29.160 --> 01:37:30.280
from the inside out, God,

1451
01:37:30.280 --> 01:37:32.560
that we would become the daughter

1452
01:37:32.560 --> 01:37:34.040
that you always created us to be,

1453
01:37:34.040 --> 01:37:36.040
that we would step further into the fullness

1454
01:37:36.040 --> 01:37:37.920
of who you created us to be.

1455
01:37:39.160 --> 01:37:41.200
God, I pray that you would help your daughters

1456
01:37:41.200 --> 01:37:45.180
hear the gentleness of your voice over them tonight.

1457
01:37:45.180 --> 01:37:47.360
God, that they would sense your love tangibly

1458
01:37:47.360 --> 01:37:48.520
where they're at.

1459
01:37:48.520 --> 01:37:50.980
And even those that hear the replay for days to come,

1460
01:37:51.700 --> 01:37:52.540
God, I thank you that you would help them

1461
01:37:52.540 --> 01:37:55.380
to experience your love in a fresh way.

1462
01:37:55.380 --> 01:37:57.620
Give them sailor rest, guard and protect them,

1463
01:37:57.620 --> 01:37:59.500
and keep watch over them and their families.

1464
01:37:59.500 --> 01:38:03.500
In Jesus' name, amen, amen.

1465
01:38:03.500 --> 01:38:04.780
God bless you all.

1466
01:38:04.780 --> 01:38:06.140
I hope you guys have a good night.

1467
01:38:06.140 --> 01:38:07.260
We'll talk to you soon.

1468
01:38:07.260 --> 01:38:08.780
Bye-bye.

1469
01:38:08.780 --> 01:38:09.620
Thank you.

1470
01:38:09.620 --> 01:38:10.540
Bye, Bethany.

1471
01:38:10.540 --> 01:38:11.380
Bye, everybody.

1472
01:38:12.580 --> 01:38:13.980
Bye, everybody.

1473
01:38:13.980 --> 01:38:14.820
Thank you.