WEBVTT

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All right, we're ready to get started.

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You guys, welcome to the first single spotlight of 2026.

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I'm so excited to do these again.

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Thank you for joining me.

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I'm just gonna make a little bit of announcements

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here at the beginning.

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Your camera has to be on during single spotlights.

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So whether it's this one or a future one that you come to,

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be camera ready, have your camera on.

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We do have our team here ready, our admin team.

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They are going to start removing people

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here in the next few minutes if your camera is not on.

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And you can't just have your avatar picture.

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You have to have your camera actually on

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during the single spotlight.

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So I see several people that don't have their cameras on.

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So let's get your cameras on,

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including our bachelor for tonight.

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Let's get your camera turned on.

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All right, everybody, Brooklyn, camera on.

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You guys don't wanna be removed.

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And trust me, we don't wanna remove you.

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And so admin team-

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My name is Jackie.

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Hello, our admin team.

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Go ahead and remove anyone whose camera is off

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and any men besides our bachelor.

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So if anyone's here that is not a female

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or has their camera off,

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just make sure that we remove them from the meeting.

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Okay, awesome.

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All right, we are getting ready to go here.

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Let me go ahead and get spotlighted.

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Ladies, please hold all of your questions for the end.

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We will do a speed round of questions, Q&A.

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It's gonna be great.

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All right.

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All righty.

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All right, we're getting the spotlight going here.

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I just lost our bachelor.

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He disappeared.

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So I don't know if he got kicked off.

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Are you still here, Matt?

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I think that-

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Hopefully he didn't get removed by the admin team.

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That didn't happen, did it, admin team?

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Sorry, I think I did.

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We'll get him back on.

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If you removed him, he won't be able to rejoin.

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It won't let him.

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Okay, I'll get back to him.

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Hold on.

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It's never a dull moment, friends.

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All right.

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All right, you guys, if you're just joining,

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go ahead and put your city, state, country in the chat.

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Melissa, I'm sorry if you're not decently clothed,

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but you will have to be removed if your camera's not on.

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Go put some decent clothes on.

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Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

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Okay.

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All right, we got our bachelor back after we removed him.

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All right.

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Awesome.

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All right, I have no idea what's going on right now, you guys.

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We're having a few technical difficulties,

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so we'll figure it out here in just a second.

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There you are.

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Hi, Matt, can you see me?

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Yes, I can see you.

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Awesome, I can see you too.

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All right, wonderful.

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So let's get started.

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Ladies, go ahead and hold your questions till the end.

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Remember, please put your camera on

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because we don't want to remove you.

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We do not want to remove you.

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All right, so ladies, tonight's bachelor is Matthew.

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He lives here in Texas, around where I live.

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So we're talking the Austin area.

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We're gonna be a little bit cryptic tonight, friends,

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because you're gonna have an opportunity

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to send a application, send your information,

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your bio, your pictures to our spotlight email

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if you think that you and Matt are a match.

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And so we don't really have to give a lot of,

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you know, really specific details about Matt tonight

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because he is a single dad

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and we do want to respect privacy

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and also for safety reasons.

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Ladies usually aren't the ones who are weirdos,

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but you know, there are ladies who are weirdos.

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And so we don't know.

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We never know.

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All right, so if you're new to me, welcome to me.

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I'm Jackie Dorman.

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I am the founder of something called Last Year Single.

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It is a program for marriage-minded singles

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and specifically Christian marriage-minded singles.

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Although if you're marriage-minded and you're not a Christian, I do think that you would benefit

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from our program as well because we do have a lot of what I call pre-believers in our program

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every once in a while and that is always a good experience for them. I'm also the author of

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several best-selling books and I do have a new book coming out called Modern Dating Sucks,

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a matchmaker's guide to finding love in a swipe left world. And you guys, that book is available

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right now in pre-sale still on my website JackieDorman.com. Go grab it. It will be life-changing

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for you. And I also want to tell you that that pre-sale is going to end tomorrow because the

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books are actually being shipped out to all the people who bought the book in pre-sale. And so

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if you want to get it in pre-sale because there's some perks that come with it for that $25, not

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just the book but actual perks. So if you want to get it, make sure you get it tonight because

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the pre-sale is going to end tomorrow. All right. All right. The link is right there in the comments.

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All right. So Matthew, I'm just going to ask you some really boring questions to get the

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conversation going. Thank you so much for joining us tonight. Matthew and I have been talking back

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and forth for about two years now, which is incredible. And you guys, I really do believe

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that timing is everything. And so, you know, I have people all the time get introduced to me.

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People send me, people say, hey, you know, you should make a match for this person or you should

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help this person find someone. And, you know, sometimes the timing is off. I believe that

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matches happen when we're in the right place at the right time and also with the right circumstances

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and the right heart. And so all of that trifecta has come together for Matt in this season. And

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and just to kind of confirm that for all you spiritual girlies, you're not just Christians,

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but you're super spiritual with the signs and with, you know, God speaking and the prophetic.

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I was at a bridal dress try-on, no lie, this last weekend. And as I was there watching the bride

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try on her dresses, the groom's mother says to me, I have a guy that my husband is friends with

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at church that I would really love to have you match. And guess who it was? It was Matt.

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She described him and I said, is his name Matthew? And she's like, you know him? And I was like,

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of all the gin joints in all the world, you just walk into this one, right? That's a line from

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Casablanca, by the way. So yeah, so that happened. And so that to me, Matthew and I had just

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reconnected like the week or two before. And I was like, what an amazing kind of confirmation

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that the trifecta is ready. Right heart, right time, right place for Matt. Okay. So my daughters,

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my daughters keep pressuring me too. Now they're like, dad, it's been five years. You need to move

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on. I was like, okay. Okay. So let's just jump out with the daughter. So how old's the oldest?

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There's three of them. How old's the oldest? My oldest is nine and a half. My middle one is eight

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and my youngest one turned six in June. So I have three girls. So remind me is nine and a half third

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grade. No, she's fourth. She's a young fourth grader. Okay. Young fourth grader. And so they're

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pretty, I'm sorry. How old's the youngest? Six. She's going to be six in June, right after the

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school year ends. So they're all pretty close in age. Yeah. They're two from the oldest to

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the youngest is 46 months. And so the two oldest are 16 months apart. So it was pretty fast. So

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wow. I'm very, very, very much a, a very involved girl. Dad, like to the nth degree,

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like you can see in my room, it's just, everything's about, this is my office,

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half of it's theirs in my office. So, but have you had your fingernails painted? This is what

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we need to know. No, I have had my hair. I have had when it was a little bit longer. So they like

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me wearing like this. Now they like me to show the gray. So they don't, they don't like it too long.

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They don't like it too short. They like, it's kind of where it is right now, but yeah, I know

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they're just, I, my oldest one is extremely high EQ. She's very sensitive. She is nearly 10 going

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on 30. So she has very adult conversations. My middle one is extremely salty. She's my sour patch

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kids. So it's either, she really wants to hug on me. And then she's like, don't even touch me.

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You know, it's just like, and then my youngest one is just my youngest one's all trouble. Like

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she'll, she's like an arsonist. She'll start the fire and then she'll sit back like this and watch

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her sisters just, so yeah, they're all very different personalities, but yeah, I've had the

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hair curled, had the hair ties in. I told them, I don't know if I'm ready for nail nails yet. So

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it's like, yeah, I enjoy hanging out with them. Like it's, it's, you know, talk about them a lot.

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church, work, everybody knows that I'm an adamant girl dad.

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So every part of my life has been, yeah.

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I love that. I love that so much.

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And for all of us that grew up with dads that are like that, we appreciate that.

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And for all of us that grew up with dads that are not like that,

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dads that were not emotionally available, not physically available, um,

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then this is kind of a healing conversation for you guys to hear about this

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girl, dad who absolutely adores his daughters. Okay. So,

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so Matt is a single dad. He lives around here in an Austin, Texas area.

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All right. And so Matt,

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you just said that the girls like for you to show your gray and we can go gray

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early, but how old are you?

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I actually turn 48 next Tuesday.

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So 48 next Tuesday. So happy early birthday.

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Usually, usually I get head turns from that. I, I, I, I thank my mom and dad.

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So I usually get like the late thirties, early forties usually,

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but that's my youngest brother. I'm the oldest of three boys.

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He was carded until he was 36. So that's how young.

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You definitely look much younger than 48. No lie. And I agree. And you know,

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and I'm, I'm living that life too. My face card never declines. I'm my fifties.

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And people are always like, what?

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And I didn't believe you either. It's good. It's good nutrition.

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Well, it's good nutrition working out since I have,

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I don't have time to go to the gym. I brought the gym to my garage.

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So I stay in shape and I eat right.

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And that's one of the things that girls love about the house too, is like, I,

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I cook, I do all the stuff around the house. It's like, it's, it's,

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it's a big responsibility teaching them all that stuff too.

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Gotta do it. I mean, who's going to do it?

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The nine and a half year old's not ready to do it.

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No, you could, you could make it easy and do microwave this and that,

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but I believe in, you know, teaching them how to cook and stuff like that.

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So like my mom did when I was their age. So it was like just passing,

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passing that stuff on too. So,

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so eating healthy and working out is a lifestyle.

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Yeah. Yeah. Along with, I'm in, I'm in construction as well.

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I've been in it a long time. Um, but it's,

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I see a lot of the men that are my age that actually there's men that are 10,

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15 years younger than me that look older. They just don't take care of themselves.

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So in the world that I'm in,

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I realized as an older dad cause I have many friends of mine at church too,

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that are already grandpas. And for me being an older dad,

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I still, when my youngest turns

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18, I'll be 60. So it's like, you know,

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she's six years old. So my thing is like,

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I owe it to my daughters and to myself to stay in shape and keep that.

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Because I believe in, you know, when, when the word talks about, you know,

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you know, taking care of your, your spiritual body.

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Like

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your body is the temple and they didn't just take care.

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So if I'm want this to be a place where the spirit resides,

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I gotta be able to make sure I'm taking care of all of it. And it's,

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I want my girls to see that example as well too. And not, you know,

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understand that it doesn't have to be idolatrous,

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but taking care of yourself needs to be a very important person about, you know,

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because there's a lot of bad examples out there and I want the good example

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coming from their father.

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Yeah, no, absolutely. I love that. I love that. Okay. So let's talk about,

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you know, because you,

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you brought up a lot of different directions that we could go in.

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But I think that I want to talk about, you know, your spiritual,

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your spiritual life,

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because all of these ladies are going to ask these questions.

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If we go to Q and A and we haven't talked about this yet,

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then people are going to ask. So like, tell us, kick us a little bit,

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just a few minutes on your faith journey. Were you raised in the church?

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When did you become a believer? Like what, what is your,

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what's the moment that you, that you met Jesus? Talk, tell us about that.

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So I was raised in a pastoral home, um, in gosh,

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years ago in Virginia. That's where I'm originally from.

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I moved here seven years ago. Um, so my dad was a pastor.

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My parents were in the church. Um, uh, they actually did marriage counseling,

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did a lot of counseling as well too. So it was, um, uh,

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being involved in that,

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being involved in elementary high school and middle school ministries, um,

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doing a lot of public speaking stuff,

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getting involved in worship and things like that.

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But the moment that I knew that I wanted the Lord in my life was, you know,

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40 years ago. So it was when I was eight, eight, nine years old. So, um,

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it hasn't been easy. There's been a lot of heartache there, things like that.

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So I've like many Christians do. There's some that stay this way the whole way,

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but I had some time of backsliding and that was college, which was rough. But,

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um, the Lord, the Lord really, um,

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continued to be,

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be patient and loving and caring like a good father. And, you know, just,

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you know, really getting my life back on board. I, I was,

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I always knew the Lord was there for me. It's just,

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sometimes I just wanted to kind of deny and just, you know, just.

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run into my own flesh and, um, I'm,

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and I think sometimes being in that household was sometimes overbearing.

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I even tell my parents that sometimes it was kind of like helicopter. Um,

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but even having those early conversations with my daughters,

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even though all three of them,

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none of them have made the personal decision yet to follow the Lord.

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My oldest one was like right there. Um, and it's,

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I think it's mainly because of the example, especially going through, you know,

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a not very pretty divorce. It was pretty ugly. Um, I, I,

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I had to maintain a very, you know,

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your flesh wants to talk bad things and cause you see those things happen.

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But that's one of the biggest things I think my daughters have gained respect

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for their father in the last five years is that they're like,

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they don't understand how I can continue to speak nicely about their mom.

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And I said, because that's, that's your mother. That's, that's your mother.

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You will always only have one mother.

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And if you truly believe in what God tells us to do in the Bible,

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because we do scriptures every, every morning, we, we read the Bible.

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And I pray over them, um, every morning before they go to school. And,

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and I tell them this is that regardless if you agree or disagree with what your

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mother is doing, and sometimes you've expressed that you still owe her to love,

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honor, and respect that God requires of you. And that way,

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nobody says when I grow up, I want to be divorced.

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And especially not being raised in a pastor's home where your parents are still

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married. I'm sure that that was just, uh, you know, uh,

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definitely something that you never wanted to have happen.

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So how long ago was the divorce final?

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Well, the divorce was the divorce was final in 22,

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but we had been, we,

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we had been living off temporary orders for like four and a half years.

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And I finally, fortunately, based on what, what history had shown them,

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I am, I'm a unicorn in Texas right now. So I am the custodial

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parent. I have primary residence and I don't pay child support. Um,

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so there was a little hard for about eight years though. So four and a half,

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eight and a half, roughly.

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Well, 21 is when 21 is when it happened. So it was roughly five years,

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but the marriage was dead eight years ago. Like it was bad. Like it was,

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it was hurtful. It was, it was bordering on all the abuses,

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except the physical side. So it was,

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it was rough because my oldest daughter saw that that's where, you know,

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she has a lot of anxiety sometimes she's dealing with and we're praying with her

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through that. But yeah, but it's, you know, yeah. How,

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how they reacted and improved. Well,

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how they reacted and improved through it really was I had to be there for them.

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You know, I had to make sure that I was getting the help.

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And a lot of the men that I minister to now that are,

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I have seven other dads that are single dads that I meet with sporadically on

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Mondays and there's 22 kids between us.

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And so I'm kind of like a father figure and older brother to a lot of these

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guys with 22 kids.

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And these are Christian men that are trying to fight for their kids that have

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very, very, very abusive ex-wives. Um, and you know,

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the key thing is they want to lash out. And I said, you can't do that.

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Because if you, if the Lord is who you say is your father,

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you have to be able to operate in a manner to love those who hate you.

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It doesn't matter. There's no excuse. There's nothing that you can,

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you can say to justify what your ex does,

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because what your kids need to see is your kids will be smart.

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Your kids will grow up and they'll see the disparity between the two households.

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It's not your job to point it out. It's the Lord's job.

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All you can do is hold your head up high and take the high road every single

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time. I said, Jesus did it. The disciples did it.

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The Holy spirit is enabling you and empowering you to do that in this.

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Um, and so, um,

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one of the things that you and I talked about when we first started talking was,

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you know, and I, and I deal with a lot of divorced people.

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There's a lot of women here who are divorced, but talking about, you know,

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what kind of woman you would need in order to, um,

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to partner for not just your sake, but the sake of your daughters, you know,

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you put your daughters first,

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you want a woman who can be a role model example, obviously,

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there's some tense situations with their mom and even with her mental health and

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with the things around her. So this woman is going to be, um, you know, uh,

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the, the, the role model, you know,

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that's one of the things that you said to me is that, you know,

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I really want someone who'd be a really good role model for my daughters.

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And, um, what does that look like?

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So this kind of describes us the kind of woman that you think would be, um,

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a good role model for your daughters,

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the attributes of the type of woman that you're looking for the attributes.

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Well, I think the first thing is, of course, is a woman that loves,

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loves the Lord. And I, I want that woman.

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And I say this with complete conviction is that woman needs to love the Lord

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more than me, because that's how I'm going to love,

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because I truly believe what the Lord's that the Bible says about

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that a man is supposed to emulate himself after how Christ loves the church.

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And then women are supposed to emulate how the church is serving and adoring the Father.

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And a lot of times people say, well, we all need to be like Christ.

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And I'm saying, I'm talking about how the Word talks about that marriage is literally an example of Christ in the church.

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A man's example there, whether or not some people agree with this or not, in my opinion, the man has a lot larger of a responsibility.

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He literally has to lay his life down like Christ did for his family.

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Sometimes that's sacrificing certain things.

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And that's what I want.

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I want a woman to understand that I want to be a leader, but I don't want that woman to feel like she's enslaved.

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It needs to be like, hey, it's a helpmate. It's a partner.

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This is not just that part of leadership.

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I want my daughters to see that.

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And with a woman that's not going to replace their mother, but it's going to exemplify wifey and motherly attributes.

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Because I want those girls to see that growing up.

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Because I tell my girls often say, listen, little nasty girls that don't obey and don't listen.

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Fortunately, they turn into not very nice women when they grow up.

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And it starts at your foundation.

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Let's talk about that for a second.

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Because I know a lot of women are going to ask this because what you're talking about is a woman's dream.

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Women love a man who loves the Lord and wants to live for God and wants her to live for God with him.

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You're speaking all their language.

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But the church that you attend, I think I do have some friends that go to your church, but I haven't asked this question of them.

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Are you guys more egalitarian?

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Are there women in ministry?

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Are there pastors and teachers that are female in your church?

349
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Do you believe in that?

350
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Do you believe that women lead men spiritually?

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Maybe not pastors, but men in general.

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As far as the teaching pastors and the leaders and the elders,

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it's a non-denominational kind of charismatic churches that believes in gifts of the spirit, things like that.

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But it's not like the Pentecostals running through the aisles and hooping and hollering.

355
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But it's a very beautiful church.

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The Bible is literally the way it's teached there.

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It's not very thematic.

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It's expositional.

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Like we've been in the book of Matthew for 18 months.

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Donnie, who's the lead pastor, believes in going through word by word, scripture by scripture, verse by verse, and really breaking down what it means.

361
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Going through historical stuff, going through the actual translations of certain words.

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It's just a beautiful way of doing it.

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I'm part of our worship team there, too.

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I'm on the choir as well as one of the leaders at some of our smaller campuses when we need help there.

365
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It's just everything about the church from the worship to the preaching to the help ministries.

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We have a widow's ministry, divorce care.

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We also have Three Strands, which I am one of the counselors in that helps people who are maybe drug addictions, struggle with the law in and out of prison, or having a tough time maintaining custody of their kids.

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I've been a mentor to one of the young men that's gone through that.

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Divorce care changed my life, too, for people going through separation or divorce.

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And my daughter's got to help out.

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Do women at your church have platform ministries?

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Are they pastors or teachers over the congregation?

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No, not for that.

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I mean, some are in some of the ancillary ministries, like the divorce care, some of the widow's ministries, yes.

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But as far as the actual frontline speakers and teachers and pastors, no.

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Do you believe that women can do that?

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That's a tough question.

378
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Here's the thing.

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The match for you is the match for you, so there's no wrong answer.

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Because there are women that believe that they can't, and there are women that believe that they can.

381
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And so, once again, this is just a really important question.

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I am very, just completely candidly, very traditional and old school with that.

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Right, there we go.

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I'm sorry.

385
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If that offends people, I'm sorry.

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A traditional man.

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This is a traditional man.

388
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Yeah.

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So let's talk about what it would look like to be married to you.

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You know, does your wife work?

391
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I mean.

392
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No, that to me is just.

393
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We're married, okay?

394
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So they're picturing themselves married to you.

395
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Does your wife work?

396
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That really depends.

397
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You want her to be at home for the girls?

398
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Are the girls going to school?

399
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Do the girls get homeschooled?

400
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Like, what do we got?

401
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The girls are going to school.

402
00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:48.000
Yeah, so the girls are going to school.

403
00:24:48.000 --> 00:25:00.000
But like, for me, depending on whether or not that it's a blended family or whether or not it's somebody that, you know, is fine being a bonus mom or, or somebody that wants to, you know, that's.

404
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.320
It's not a complete deal breaker for somebody that maybe wants to have at least one.

405
00:25:03.320 --> 00:25:05.640
That's fine. Cause I am an already an older dad.

406
00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:10.440
I need you to hear that. Okay. So, so Matt is going to be 48 next Tuesday.

407
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He has three young daughters for those of you that are just joining us ages six to

408
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almost 10. Okay. And so, um, he is, you know,

409
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maybe not wanting to necessarily have another biological child cause he's 48.

410
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You just heard him say when his youngest is 18, he's going to be in his sixties.

411
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And a lot of you feel that way as well. You're like, yeah,

412
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but he is for the right woman. It's not a deal breaker.

413
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It's not a non-negotiable. He isn't in the boys club.

414
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He doesn't have a vasectomy. Okay.

415
00:25:37.680 --> 00:25:42.040
So he is willing for the right person to actually have another

416
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biological child. But Matt, what if the woman already has children as well?

417
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Now Matt can't relocate. He has shared parenting with his former wife.

418
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He has to stay here in Texas. Um, but what if she lives in Texas?

419
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What if she's a widow? What if she has children? How do you feel about someone?

420
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You already got three girls in the house.

421
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How do you feel about other children being brought into the mix?

422
00:26:02.520 --> 00:26:05.560
I mean, other children for me is not a problem. I always wanted the big family.

423
00:26:05.600 --> 00:26:08.720
Like my goal was four to six kids. That's what I wanted. Um,

424
00:26:09.160 --> 00:26:13.800
so being a dad of a big, healthy household, it's fine. Um,

425
00:26:14.320 --> 00:26:17.320
and, and just, I would think that would, that discussion about work. I mean,

426
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ideally I, I don't like the idea of kids being raised by others.

427
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I think it's important for the parents to be involved.

428
00:26:23.640 --> 00:26:25.960
My mom was a stay at home mom. Her mom was a stay at home mom.

429
00:26:25.960 --> 00:26:29.840
And it's just down the line. Um, but financially a stay at home mom.

430
00:26:31.080 --> 00:26:34.840
Potentially. It depends. It depends on the size of the blended family.

431
00:26:34.840 --> 00:26:37.120
Really. If it was somebody who came to the mix, absolutely.

432
00:26:37.480 --> 00:26:40.000
Say that it's just the three of them, the four of you and her.

433
00:26:41.520 --> 00:26:42.880
Yeah. Yeah.

434
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All right. Here's the thing. I, men come to me all the time. They're like,

435
00:26:46.600 --> 00:26:47.960
I'm a, I want a trad wife.

436
00:26:47.960 --> 00:26:49.800
I want a traditional wife that wants to stay at home.

437
00:26:49.800 --> 00:26:51.400
And the very first question I asked them is that,

438
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can you afford a woman to stay at home?

439
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Because there are a lot of women that would love to stay at home and,

440
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and, you know, and be industrious, you know, be great homemakers,

441
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but also maybe have like a little home business, maybe make things,

442
00:27:02.160 --> 00:27:05.000
maybe bake things, maybe do things. I mean, there's all kinds of stuff,

443
00:27:05.240 --> 00:27:08.360
all kinds of entrepreneurial minded things to do from home nowadays.

444
00:27:08.400 --> 00:27:10.960
Yeah. It was awesome. But even if at the beginning,

445
00:27:10.960 --> 00:27:14.960
it's kind of a transition where the desire is to eventually be at home, but you

446
00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:15.800
know, I don't,

447
00:27:16.520 --> 00:27:19.440
I don't want a woman to feel like she's got to completely cut it off and be

448
00:27:19.440 --> 00:27:21.680
like, okay, I got to give my two weeks notice now. I mean,

449
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I believe there can be a transition in there too. There's just, it's just,

450
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it's one of those things to talk through because I also know that in the

451
00:27:29.560 --> 00:27:33.520
position that many women have been in there, they're used to a certain way,

452
00:27:33.520 --> 00:27:37.920
but if their desire is to stay home and their desire is to make that change into

453
00:27:37.920 --> 00:27:38.880
a blended family, whatever,

454
00:27:38.880 --> 00:27:41.360
then that's something that I think is fair to talk about. I don't,

455
00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:45.120
I can't just like stomp my foot and say, it's going to be this way. It's,

456
00:27:45.160 --> 00:27:46.800
I don't think it works that way. That's not,

457
00:27:46.840 --> 00:27:49.080
that's not loving and that's not a great way to really start off the

458
00:27:49.080 --> 00:27:53.720
relationship to make all these demands and things without having.

459
00:27:54.800 --> 00:27:57.080
No one wants anyone stomping their feet, but here's the thing.

460
00:27:57.080 --> 00:27:58.440
When we're very clear, ladies,

461
00:27:58.440 --> 00:28:02.160
I really want you to pay attention because my book has a lot of chapters on

462
00:28:02.160 --> 00:28:02.320
this.

463
00:28:02.320 --> 00:28:06.320
When we're very clear from the very beginning about who we are and what we

464
00:28:06.320 --> 00:28:08.720
want, then there doesn't need to be missed expectations.

465
00:28:08.720 --> 00:28:10.680
And that's why I'm asking these deep questions,

466
00:28:10.960 --> 00:28:14.120
because if you write into us for a spotlight,

467
00:28:14.280 --> 00:28:17.840
you need to understand exactly what it is that, you know,

468
00:28:17.840 --> 00:28:20.920
this man thinks how he feels where his heart is because there's a match for

469
00:28:20.920 --> 00:28:21.600
everyone.

470
00:28:21.600 --> 00:28:26.360
Nobody has to dumb down or diminish what they want just to get a match.

471
00:28:26.360 --> 00:28:28.640
In fact, you're going to end up with the wrong match if you do that.

472
00:28:28.880 --> 00:28:31.080
So we ended up with loves the Lord.

473
00:28:31.080 --> 00:28:34.800
What are some of the other attributes that the right match for you?

474
00:28:34.800 --> 00:28:37.080
Not a perfect woman, but perfect for you, Matt,

475
00:28:37.120 --> 00:28:39.120
let's get going to some other attributes.

476
00:28:40.600 --> 00:28:42.480
I want somebody who really,

477
00:28:43.480 --> 00:28:47.640
who really just falls in and abides by her love languages too.

478
00:28:47.640 --> 00:28:49.440
Don't be afraid of those. Cause I mean, I'm,

479
00:28:49.520 --> 00:28:53.160
I'm big on the love languages as far as that. Mine, um,

480
00:28:54.600 --> 00:28:56.560
mine is physical touch and quality time.

481
00:28:56.760 --> 00:28:59.960
Most people don't get that from guys sometimes, but it is, it always has been.

482
00:29:01.160 --> 00:29:02.000
Um, cause my dad.

483
00:29:02.360 --> 00:29:05.040
Can you explain to us what quality time is? And you know,

484
00:29:05.040 --> 00:29:07.720
when women hear a man say physical touch, which most men do,

485
00:29:07.720 --> 00:29:09.480
they think immediately sex, you know,

486
00:29:09.480 --> 00:29:14.040
like just give us an example of physical. And by the way, ladies,

487
00:29:14.040 --> 00:29:17.800
Matt is open to every race of woman. For those of you that are going to ask that

488
00:29:17.800 --> 00:29:21.840
he's open to every race of woman. Um, and, uh,

489
00:29:22.040 --> 00:29:25.560
what did we talk about? We asked, I asked her color race doesn't matter.

490
00:29:25.560 --> 00:29:28.120
As long as the hair color race, those are,

491
00:29:28.520 --> 00:29:31.800
those are all that he doesn't have necessarily preference.

492
00:29:31.800 --> 00:29:34.280
It's whoever he's vibing with and he's connecting to. All right.

493
00:29:34.280 --> 00:29:38.480
Give us an example of physical touch and give us an example of quality time.

494
00:29:39.680 --> 00:29:41.640
Well, I mean, I mean, physical touch,

495
00:29:42.600 --> 00:29:46.440
you like to snuggle you're snuggling with your kids. Yeah. Yeah. Do all the time.

496
00:29:46.920 --> 00:29:49.760
I mean, I prefer big spoon, but Hey, if you want to be a big spoon, whatever.

497
00:29:49.840 --> 00:29:53.160
I mean, okay. I expect a little neck rub or something like that.

498
00:29:53.160 --> 00:29:56.920
If you're going to be big spoon, that's on the backside. So, but, but even,

499
00:29:56.960 --> 00:30:00.080
even like sometimes like I have a very high demanding job.

500
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:07.480
So a lot of responsibility work for a multi-billion dollar company and I'm running portions of

501
00:30:07.480 --> 00:30:09.240
hundred million dollar projects.

502
00:30:09.240 --> 00:30:12.560
So when I get, I mean, I'm battling the world on the outside.

503
00:30:12.560 --> 00:30:14.480
So when I get home, I don't want to battle at home.

504
00:30:14.480 --> 00:30:22.560
I want peace and the thing is for me, like for me, physical touch could be just like,

505
00:30:22.560 --> 00:30:23.560
Hey, I don't want to go out.

506
00:30:23.560 --> 00:30:25.720
You want to just sit in and chill on the couch.

507
00:30:25.720 --> 00:30:28.880
We'll make some food, open a bottle of wine and watch a movie or binge watch a show we

508
00:30:28.880 --> 00:30:32.840
really like, like I don't need to have to go outside all the time.

509
00:30:32.840 --> 00:30:34.000
I'm an ambivert.

510
00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:39.220
So I can be an extrovert if I need to be, and I can be an introvert.

511
00:30:39.220 --> 00:30:43.800
So in this transition, the last 10 years of my life, I've found out from friends of mine

512
00:30:43.800 --> 00:30:47.360
that are psychologists and they're like, yeah, you're not, you're not an extrovert.

513
00:30:47.360 --> 00:30:51.320
You can be, but the fact that you're willing to stay home on a Saturday and do five to

514
00:30:51.320 --> 00:30:57.000
six loads of yours and your daughter's laundry, binge watch a show and have a couple bourbons

515
00:30:57.000 --> 00:30:58.520
and do whatever.

516
00:30:58.520 --> 00:31:00.040
That's introvert mentality right there.

517
00:31:00.040 --> 00:31:01.760
You don't have to go out and spend time with people.

518
00:31:01.760 --> 00:31:05.920
And it would really be hard to be an extrovert as a single dad of three girls because extroverts

519
00:31:05.920 --> 00:31:10.380
really get their energy from social interaction.

520
00:31:10.380 --> 00:31:14.000
And so that would mean that you would want to always be on the go, always be around other

521
00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:19.400
people and it would really be really hard in the, it's, it's funny sometimes when they're

522
00:31:19.400 --> 00:31:21.880
with their mom, they're always on the go all the time.

523
00:31:21.880 --> 00:31:25.720
But when they come to me, they're like, dad, can we just sleep in Saturday and not do anything?

524
00:31:26.440 --> 00:31:27.440
Absolutely.

525
00:31:27.440 --> 00:31:28.440
Let's do it.

526
00:31:28.440 --> 00:31:32.440
Um, like what I do with my girls is like, we'll sit on the couch sometimes and what

527
00:31:32.440 --> 00:31:35.640
we do at least once a week, we do a little picnic.

528
00:31:35.640 --> 00:31:38.640
So we'll lay out a towel on the living room floor, we'll watch a movie, I'll make them

529
00:31:38.640 --> 00:31:41.000
food and then we'll just eat like it's a picnic in the living room.

530
00:31:41.000 --> 00:31:47.800
So, um, then quality time too, um, I'm starting with my, my girls this summer cause they're

531
00:31:47.800 --> 00:31:50.680
not old enough to, so I believe in dating my daughters.

532
00:31:50.680 --> 00:31:55.520
So, um, I want to make sure that every one of them gets alone time with dad.

533
00:31:56.320 --> 00:31:59.800
Let me ask you a question that women are going to ask because of what you just said, because

534
00:31:59.800 --> 00:32:00.800
that's amazing.

535
00:32:00.800 --> 00:32:03.480
And you're making everyone fall in love with you just so you know.

536
00:32:03.480 --> 00:32:08.680
But one thing that I want to ask is this, is that do you believe, cause these daughters

537
00:32:08.680 --> 00:32:11.440
sound amazing, they sound adorable and sweet.

538
00:32:11.440 --> 00:32:15.640
And I know that you haven't said this is on your list yet, but I know that your list is

539
00:32:15.640 --> 00:32:19.920
going to, is going to include someone who's going to love your daughters like they're

540
00:32:19.920 --> 00:32:21.800
her own.

541
00:32:21.800 --> 00:32:28.680
And you know, um, but do you believe that when you get married, that that woman comes

542
00:32:28.680 --> 00:32:31.000
before your daughters?

543
00:32:31.000 --> 00:32:32.000
That's a, that's a tough question.

544
00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:38.360
A lot of people would not like the answer, but my daughters know that when I marry a

545
00:32:38.360 --> 00:32:43.080
woman, even though that they're my kids, that woman is my wife needs to be a priority in

546
00:32:43.080 --> 00:32:44.080
that relationship.

547
00:32:44.080 --> 00:32:47.960
And that, and this, and it's sometimes people I know in mothers and fathers that can't let

548
00:32:47.960 --> 00:32:51.600
go of that ideal that no matter what, but I'm like, how do you expect the marriage to

549
00:32:51.600 --> 00:32:58.120
work if you're referring to those kids as your kids and they're not our kids or when

550
00:32:58.120 --> 00:33:04.680
it comes to discipline, like, um, you know, she should be as willing to say, Hey, you

551
00:33:04.680 --> 00:33:09.000
know, we'll talk about what, what discipline looks like in our household and what we do.

552
00:33:09.000 --> 00:33:14.640
Like telling corporal punishment in my house doesn't work, but time out and away from just

553
00:33:14.640 --> 00:33:15.640
listening to it.

554
00:33:15.640 --> 00:33:18.880
One of their favorite shows their sisters are doing or being in timeouts, that thing,

555
00:33:18.880 --> 00:33:19.880
it cuts their soul.

556
00:33:19.880 --> 00:33:25.400
Um, so just talking about that stuff, I just listened to an amazing sermon about the actual

557
00:33:25.400 --> 00:33:30.080
language, um, that the, you know, spare the rods, spoil the child, you know, God corrects

558
00:33:30.080 --> 00:33:34.940
those that he loves what the actual language in the actual, you know, real translations

559
00:33:34.940 --> 00:33:36.880
of those words mean.

560
00:33:36.880 --> 00:33:39.680
And actually it has nothing to do with physical punishment friends.

561
00:33:39.680 --> 00:33:43.040
So, you know, we're not going to keep you from spanking your children, but the Bible

562
00:33:43.040 --> 00:33:48.320
isn't actually telling you to spank your children, just so you know, if you don't

563
00:33:48.320 --> 00:33:52.480
discipline them, you hate them, it says you, you gotta discipline them, but it doesn't

564
00:33:52.480 --> 00:33:56.240
mean, you know, you physically, physically, um, harming them.

565
00:33:56.240 --> 00:33:57.240
Okay.

566
00:33:57.240 --> 00:34:00.600
So, and for all of those that were beat as children, you know, because your parents wanted

567
00:34:00.600 --> 00:34:04.240
to do right by the Lord, I know that's probably going to sit wrong with you, but all right.

568
00:34:04.240 --> 00:34:10.280
I, the Lord wants a traditional man is a tried kind of wife, um, love language, physical

569
00:34:10.280 --> 00:34:11.280
touch.

570
00:34:11.280 --> 00:34:15.920
So doesn't not want to be touched, likes to be touched, likes to be close, soft-spaced

571
00:34:15.920 --> 00:34:18.560
land, gentle, feminine.

572
00:34:18.560 --> 00:34:23.639
And then quality time, I would say not just my daughters are getting that example, but

573
00:34:23.639 --> 00:34:26.120
I believe in dating in the marriage.

574
00:34:26.120 --> 00:34:28.000
I don't believe it's like, okay, we're locked in.

575
00:34:28.000 --> 00:34:29.000
We're done.

576
00:34:29.000 --> 00:34:31.719
It's just, I, I fricking hate when dating stops.

577
00:34:31.719 --> 00:34:33.159
I watched my parents do it.

578
00:34:33.159 --> 00:34:38.719
They're been married, gosh, they're going on.

579
00:34:38.719 --> 00:34:39.719
Holy cow.

580
00:34:39.719 --> 00:34:44.960
I think I forgot 46 years, 46, 47 years, 46 years.

581
00:34:44.960 --> 00:34:45.960
Yeah.

582
00:34:45.960 --> 00:34:48.400
So, um, my parents make it a point.

583
00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:51.760
They constantly dated when we were teenagers, they were like, oh God, we can get out of

584
00:34:51.760 --> 00:34:52.760
the house.

585
00:34:52.760 --> 00:34:55.199
So, um, but yeah, I, I believe in that.

586
00:34:55.199 --> 00:34:59.600
I saw the example of it and I saw how it really changed the landscape of my parents' marriage.

587
00:34:59.600 --> 00:35:00.040
It kept.

588
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.440
them alive. It kept their marriage fresh. And it was a time where from the stress of the kids,

589
00:35:05.440 --> 00:35:08.960
the stress of work, the stress of the household obligations, just getting out and going to do

590
00:35:08.960 --> 00:35:13.760
something with each other. Um, or even if it's just going over to another couple's house just

591
00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:17.440
to have like, Hey, we're not going to be at home. We're going out somewhere. You know,

592
00:35:17.440 --> 00:35:20.000
it's more chill. It's not out in public, whatever. It's just with friends.

593
00:35:20.640 --> 00:35:26.640
I believe in continuing that on. I mean, I don't, I don't want, I want my girls to understand how

594
00:35:26.640 --> 00:35:30.720
important that is too. It's like, I told my oldest, she's like, well, when I, when I get

595
00:35:30.720 --> 00:35:36.800
married someday and she's like, do I still date my husband? I said, absolutely. Yes, absolutely.

596
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:41.200
Absolutely. We're going to go into a speed round of questions because we're running out of time.

597
00:35:41.200 --> 00:35:46.640
Um, so let's just recap. Matthew wants a woman who doesn't matter what race doesn't matter what

598
00:35:46.640 --> 00:35:50.720
hair color you have, but here's some attributes that you're going to have. Now listen, because

599
00:35:51.440 --> 00:35:59.760
my inbox is not a free for all. Okay. Spotlight at Jackie Dorman or is it Jane media? Can you put it

600
00:35:59.760 --> 00:36:06.080
up? Um, admin team, Cheryl, is it Jackie dorman.com or is it a jmedia.org? I think it's

601
00:36:06.080 --> 00:36:13.040
jmedia.org. It's spotlight, not spotlight spotlight at janemedia.org. That is where

602
00:36:13.040 --> 00:36:19.360
you're going to send your interest in math to, to Matthew too. Okay. There it is right there.

603
00:36:19.360 --> 00:36:25.360
All right. Please do not send interest if you are not the following. Okay. Love the Lord. Okay.

604
00:36:25.360 --> 00:36:29.920
Has a really mature relationship with the Lord. I don't care if you've been saved for five minutes

605
00:36:29.920 --> 00:36:34.720
or 15 years or 20 years, you have a mature relationship with the Lord. You are not

606
00:36:34.720 --> 00:36:39.200
desperate for a husband. You've put God first in your life. Okay. And that looks like fruit.

607
00:36:39.200 --> 00:36:43.920
Your life is full of fruit of your relationship with God. All right. Your love languages are

608
00:36:43.920 --> 00:36:50.320
compatible to physical touch and quality time. You are traditional minded woman. You're not a,

609
00:36:50.320 --> 00:36:54.720
you know, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with women who are empowered and, you know,

610
00:36:54.720 --> 00:36:59.360
want to be independent, but this is not going to be the right match for this bachelor. Okay.

611
00:36:59.360 --> 00:37:03.920
You're someone who wants to be interdependent. You're someone who wants to partner. You're

612
00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:08.800
someone who can partner. You have a gentle spirit. You're going to have three little girls.

613
00:37:09.600 --> 00:37:15.760
Okay. Immediately if you marry this man. Okay. So it's an instant family. And that means that

614
00:37:15.760 --> 00:37:19.840
as a blended mom, I'm going to tell you, because I am a blended mom and I've been a blended mom

615
00:37:19.840 --> 00:37:24.480
for 20 years. And my, the kids were little when I married their dad, I'm going to tell you,

616
00:37:24.480 --> 00:37:29.520
you cannot be a territorial person. You cannot be a jealous person. You cannot be an insecure person.

617
00:37:29.520 --> 00:37:33.200
If you are any of those things, and you know that about yourself, this is not the right match for

618
00:37:33.200 --> 00:37:38.720
you. Okay. Because even though that relationship with the former wife is tense and, you know,

619
00:37:38.720 --> 00:37:42.400
she's got, you know, she needs some healing and different things. She's still going to be in these

620
00:37:42.400 --> 00:37:47.680
girls' lives. She's still going to be their mom. And so if you can't deal with that, then just

621
00:37:47.680 --> 00:37:53.200
do not send us a message. Okay. And can I add something in there? Super mature. Yeah.

622
00:37:54.800 --> 00:37:59.680
Also, these girls have not been used to, they're giving me extra love because they

623
00:37:59.680 --> 00:38:03.360
see what I'm loving on them and how I still treat their mother with respect.

624
00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:08.480
I'm just giving fair warning. If people are weird about kids touching them or whatever,

625
00:38:08.480 --> 00:38:15.760
I'm just telling you the moment they see you respecting me and honoring me and being a good

626
00:38:15.760 --> 00:38:19.280
woman to me, those girls are going to be all over you. They're not going to want to let you go

627
00:38:20.080 --> 00:38:26.000
because they love their mom, but their mom doesn't always necessarily display the most

628
00:38:26.960 --> 00:38:31.520
mom-like qualities. Sometimes they tell me that they'll be on the phone the whole time

629
00:38:31.520 --> 00:38:36.000
and they'll rarely snuggle with their mom. So the moment they get those qualities,

630
00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:40.000
they're going to be all over you and they're hungry for it. And they've already told me that,

631
00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:43.760
especially my older ones. So be prepared. You're going to get tackled. You're not going to let

632
00:38:43.760 --> 00:38:48.640
you go. They're not going to. And also you have to be okay with dad paying attention to his

633
00:38:48.640 --> 00:38:54.400
daughters. Once again, not jealous, not insecure. You have to be okay with dad touching his daughters,

634
00:38:54.480 --> 00:38:58.240
loving on his daughters. I know women who don't think that after a certain age,

635
00:38:58.240 --> 00:39:04.000
a father should be, you know, touching his daughters. That's, that's dumb. Okay. And so

636
00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:07.760
if you are feeling that way, this would not be the right match for you. All right. You're also

637
00:39:07.760 --> 00:39:11.760
going to be someone who is focused on health and wellness. For those of you that came in late,

638
00:39:11.760 --> 00:39:17.280
Matthew has a gym at home. He is really committed to keeping himself. And I've seen pictures of him.

639
00:39:17.280 --> 00:39:20.800
You guys haven't seen full body pictures of him, by the way, he's almost six feet tall. He's six

640
00:39:20.880 --> 00:39:23.760
feet. He's right at six feet tall. For those of you that already asked that, I saw that in the

641
00:39:23.760 --> 00:39:28.160
chat. All right. Plus he's got cowboy boots on, which make him a little taller. Then he's got his

642
00:39:28.160 --> 00:39:33.440
cowboy hat on. Then he's a little taller. Cause this is a six, six hats. No big deal. Farmer

643
00:39:33.440 --> 00:39:37.760
needs a wife. Farmer needs a wife right now. Have you ever seen that show? It's all cowboys. Okay.

644
00:39:37.760 --> 00:39:41.280
Yeah. Um, that's the dream. That's the dream though. Eventually if somebody wants like,

645
00:39:42.320 --> 00:39:47.600
um, at least an acre or more eventually land chickens, animals, yeah, it's going to happen.

646
00:39:47.760 --> 00:39:57.040
Oh, come on y'all. If you are sourdough bacon, homemaking, love, love girls, love children,

647
00:39:57.600 --> 00:39:59.840
you know, maybe, maybe, you know, if you're

648
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.760
in your mid thirties and it's the beauty, it's an incredible connection. Matthew said he'd be open

649
00:40:05.760 --> 00:40:10.320
to, you know, if you're just like, I gotta, I gotta have a baby or I'm going to die. Um, then

650
00:40:10.320 --> 00:40:15.680
he will, you know, he'll, he'll consider that. Um, if you're, you know, I, I really feel like

651
00:40:15.680 --> 00:40:21.760
if you have a gentle nurturing personality, if you're, you know, uh, like a teacher type of

652
00:40:21.760 --> 00:40:25.920
personality or a nurse type of personality, I really feel like that would go a long way.

653
00:40:25.920 --> 00:40:32.640
Ladies, please do not write into me. If you are not fit, if you don't prioritize fitness,

654
00:40:32.640 --> 00:40:37.760
Matthew doesn't have to say it. Cause I'm going to say it. He's open to all, all, all races of

655
00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:45.200
women, all hair color of women, but you gotta take care of yourself. Okay. Not later now. Okay. So

656
00:40:45.200 --> 00:40:50.560
you, if you're not that, please don't. A lot of women are asking how old is too old for you?

657
00:40:50.560 --> 00:40:52.880
Are you, or do you feel like you have an age cutoff?

658
00:40:55.120 --> 00:41:01.600
I mean, honestly, I I'd prefer somebody that is younger than me. I mean, honestly,

659
00:41:01.600 --> 00:41:08.480
just, just for the, I feel bad saying that, but if it was somebody that was right around my age,

660
00:41:08.480 --> 00:41:13.280
it'd have to be like an unbelievably good connection. Like it would have to be an

661
00:41:13.280 --> 00:41:19.360
amazing connection. Um, but yeah, just, but that's why I understand the prospect of somebody younger.

662
00:41:19.360 --> 00:41:23.280
There's, there's possibility of a kid. I get it. So, well, and remember you guys,

663
00:41:23.280 --> 00:41:27.520
he's raising three small daughters and he obviously looks really young for his age.

664
00:41:27.520 --> 00:41:32.320
He stays healthy. He takes care of himself and he has a young heart. He's got a young spirit.

665
00:41:32.320 --> 00:41:37.200
So you have to have those things as well. Now I get, I get it because you know, I just turned,

666
00:41:37.200 --> 00:41:42.800
I turned 51 in January and I'm very young and I look young and I act young and all the things.

667
00:41:42.800 --> 00:41:47.920
So once again, if you're around Matthew's age, which he turns 48 next Tuesday, right around there,

668
00:41:47.920 --> 00:41:53.680
if you're like 45, six, seven, eight, somewhere in there. Um, but you're, you're amazing. You're

669
00:41:53.680 --> 00:41:59.040
incredible. Then send us an application. You guys, when you send us an application,

670
00:41:59.040 --> 00:42:06.160
we, and Cheryl just put up a synopsis of all the things that we have so far found out about Matthew

671
00:42:06.160 --> 00:42:09.840
and who's going to be a good match for him. He's not even saying this. I'm telling you as a

672
00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:16.320
matchmaker who I know is going to be a good match for Matthew. You're going to have these attributes.

673
00:42:16.320 --> 00:42:20.320
You're also going to be fun. You're going to have a good sense of humor. You're going to be fun.

674
00:42:20.320 --> 00:42:26.000
These are three young daughters. They need to see a woman who is fun, a woman who is lighthearted,

675
00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:29.520
a woman who takes her responsibilities seriously, but knows how to play.

676
00:42:30.320 --> 00:42:34.160
Don't be afraid to be slightly immature sometimes because they love it when their dad acts like that

677
00:42:34.160 --> 00:42:38.000
because it's, it's getting real stupid and goofy sometimes. And they love it because I don't,

678
00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:42.000
I don't want them to feel that it's, it's just, you're putting your nose up. It's like

679
00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:47.680
they want to know because I think they're, they were withheld sometimes from being goofy

680
00:42:47.680 --> 00:42:52.640
elsewhere. But when they're in my house, I'm like, go nuts. So I definitely want that. Cause

681
00:42:52.640 --> 00:42:56.320
I want it to be a marriage and a family of fun. I don't want it to be somebody where you think,

682
00:42:56.320 --> 00:43:01.280
Oh, we're in our forties now. We need to calm down. I was like, why? My dad still says dumb

683
00:43:01.280 --> 00:43:07.280
dad jokes and has fart jokes and he's 76 years old. So I just want it to be a house that loves

684
00:43:07.280 --> 00:43:11.120
the Lord, but also can be one that's fun. And it doesn't have to be, you know, legalistic.

685
00:43:11.120 --> 00:43:17.680
It's not a legalistic household. It's one of love. So. Absolutely. So love grace, not religious,

686
00:43:17.680 --> 00:43:23.360
not rigid, not frigid, you know, not afraid of being touched, not afraid of, you know, it's just

687
00:43:23.360 --> 00:43:31.040
warm. So Calandra, Calandra asks how cowboy like actually, or just wears a hat. So I was raised in,

688
00:43:31.920 --> 00:43:37.040
in Virginia. So it was some, it's not Texas cattle country. It was cattle country. So

689
00:43:37.040 --> 00:43:41.120
I've worked farms before in the past. I know hard work. I've been blue collar my entire life.

690
00:43:42.160 --> 00:43:47.520
But as far as like, you know, Yellowstone cowboy, nah, I'm not a roughneck cowboy.

691
00:43:47.520 --> 00:43:52.000
I can do all that work, but no, I'm, I just like it too. If I ever leave the house,

692
00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:55.200
I don't have my cowboy hat on my girls. Make me go back in. They'll point their finger and like,

693
00:43:55.200 --> 00:43:59.520
go get your hat that matches your hat. You look good in a hat, which is helpful too.

694
00:43:59.520 --> 00:44:03.440
Elizabeth, everyone needs to come through the spotlight email. If it doesn't matter if you're

695
00:44:03.440 --> 00:44:08.080
going to be in town visiting or not, we need to, we're going to vet you guys out. We're going to

696
00:44:08.080 --> 00:44:13.120
give the best matches to Matthew to look through. Don't bother trying to find him on social media.

697
00:44:13.120 --> 00:44:19.600
He does not have social media, none at all. So don't, don't try to be a junior detective.

698
00:44:19.600 --> 00:44:25.280
We're playing the match. Eight years ago, eight to 10 years ago. Yeah. So I'm 11. Somebody said

699
00:44:25.280 --> 00:44:32.000
how young would be okay. What does that mean? Like is there 40? Well, you're going to be 48.

700
00:44:32.000 --> 00:44:38.560
You guys, I think, I think that, you know, matches within 12, 13 years is kind of the cutoff for me

701
00:44:38.560 --> 00:44:43.600
because then you start not having anything in common. Okay. So in my opinion, you know,

702
00:44:43.600 --> 00:44:53.760
that would be 28 older than 25, 35, 35, 13 years. If it was somebody in their very early thirties,

703
00:44:53.760 --> 00:44:58.560
it would have to be extremely, extremely mature. Like it would have to be very mature.

704
00:44:59.200 --> 00:44:59.760
Yeah.

705
00:44:59.760 --> 00:45:00.240
You would have

706
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.360
to, yeah, you would have to, which I'm open to that and I know that with that age would come

707
00:45:05.360 --> 00:45:09.920
like, Hey, then we can start talking about, like, I would, I would be more apt to want to have a

708
00:45:09.920 --> 00:45:13.120
child with somebody that young, but it would have to be a perfect match and somebody who's

709
00:45:13.120 --> 00:45:18.400
really mature and willing to take on those responsibilities of having a, a mom, uh, you

710
00:45:18.400 --> 00:45:27.120
know, you know, um, three girls right away. Um, recommended age range. Okay. Once again,

711
00:45:27.120 --> 00:45:32.160
if you're, if you're the same age as Matthew, but you're incredible, you know, shoot your shot.

712
00:45:32.160 --> 00:45:37.920
You have to have all these other things. Okay. Be young at heart, look young, take care of yourself,

713
00:45:37.920 --> 00:45:43.680
all the other things. If you are going to, uh, defy our age limit and send us a spotlight,

714
00:45:43.680 --> 00:45:46.800
but I'll be happy to look through it on my team. I'll be happy to look through it,

715
00:45:46.800 --> 00:45:51.440
but it doesn't mean that we're going to show it to him. If it's not a match, you guys remember,

716
00:45:51.440 --> 00:45:55.840
he's not the last man left on earth. This is not COVID and he's not a roll of toilet paper.

717
00:45:55.840 --> 00:46:00.960
Okay. I just want to let you guys know that single spotlights are back on and we're going

718
00:46:00.960 --> 00:46:06.400
to be having them continuously. And so you don't have to all be scrambling to try to make it a

719
00:46:06.400 --> 00:46:10.560
match. That's what's so beautiful about spotlights. It's a match or it's not a match. That's why we're

720
00:46:10.560 --> 00:46:14.480
not, we're not trying to put our best foot forward. We're not saying things that are not true.

721
00:46:14.480 --> 00:46:18.880
We're we're managing expectations by being very truthful and very honest. And I want to thank

722
00:46:18.880 --> 00:46:24.160
you, Matthew, for doing that tonight, as far as, you know, just not holding back,

723
00:46:24.160 --> 00:46:28.160
not saying, and I believe in being patient too. Like you do have to be patient. Even if

724
00:46:28.880 --> 00:46:32.320
this spotlight doesn't yield anything, I'd want to do another one. Cause I believe

725
00:46:33.120 --> 00:46:37.680
that, like you said, before the beginning of the call, God lays out certain things for a reason.

726
00:46:38.240 --> 00:46:43.600
I'm not desperate to get married. I loved being married. I want to be married to a healthy

727
00:46:43.600 --> 00:46:48.240
marriage. Um, but I'm not going to just be desperate to jump in because I'm not doing,

728
00:46:48.240 --> 00:46:53.120
going through this again. I want this to be till death do us part. And I want my daughters to see

729
00:46:53.920 --> 00:46:58.880
a woman that will love on their father and understand with me loving on that woman,

730
00:46:59.440 --> 00:47:02.400
what they should expect when they get to be that age and they're married.

731
00:47:02.400 --> 00:47:08.480
So that's, I'm not in a rush, but I want to find like, and Jackie knows me really well.

732
00:47:08.480 --> 00:47:12.800
Last two years, she knows my type. She'll send, she goes, yeah, yeah. I knocked off like these

733
00:47:12.800 --> 00:47:16.080
five that here's the three that I think are best. And I'm like, you're exactly right. So it's like,

734
00:47:16.080 --> 00:47:21.200
she knows what I'm looking for. Um, but it just, I believe in patience. And even if I'm not the

735
00:47:21.200 --> 00:47:25.680
person for you, that guy's going to come along. You just have to be willing to wait on the Lord

736
00:47:25.680 --> 00:47:30.800
to bring that guy to you. Cause if you rush it, if you rush it, you're going to fail. Yeah,

737
00:47:30.800 --> 00:47:35.280
absolutely. And ladies that are in my program last year, single, I want to let you know that

738
00:47:35.280 --> 00:47:40.400
your applications will be given preferential treatment. So we have our phase two students

739
00:47:40.400 --> 00:47:44.720
here. We have our phase three students here. Um, we will look at your applications first.

740
00:47:44.720 --> 00:47:49.920
And if you are a really great match for Matthew, you will get in first. As far as those,

741
00:47:49.920 --> 00:47:53.680
those applications will be given to him. Those profiles will be given to him. And then,

742
00:47:53.680 --> 00:47:59.280
and only then if we don't have any good matches within our program last year, single, we will move

743
00:47:59.280 --> 00:48:03.440
on to the people that are here from the public. Okay. People that are here from my Instagram,

744
00:48:03.440 --> 00:48:08.080
people that are here from my email list. So we know who's in last year, single and who's not.

745
00:48:08.080 --> 00:48:15.040
Okay. And we will, um, be showing those profiles first and foremost. So just so you guys know that

746
00:48:15.360 --> 00:48:20.960
any final questions for Matthew, you guys, there are good men left on the earth. For those of you

747
00:48:20.960 --> 00:48:25.280
that weren't believing that that's true. It is true. And I will tell you, I have a lot more

748
00:48:25.280 --> 00:48:29.920
where he came from. I have so many men lined up. So many men that I'm working with so many men

749
00:48:29.920 --> 00:48:35.040
that check in with me constantly. Hey, do you have any matches for me? And so that's why I decided I

750
00:48:35.040 --> 00:48:38.720
have to start doing the single spotlights again. Um, Matthew, do you like to travel?

751
00:48:39.680 --> 00:48:43.440
Yes, I do. Three small daughters. I've got four guys for you. I got four guys from you,

752
00:48:43.440 --> 00:48:49.840
including my youngest brother who is 40. Yeah. Yeah. You think I look young for my age? I guess

753
00:48:49.840 --> 00:48:54.320
that guy's amazing. I love my brother. So yeah, he's a really good guy. Never, never been married,

754
00:48:54.320 --> 00:49:02.160
never been married to. So come on. How old is he? Yeah. Uh, 44. Okay. Awesome. Yep. Let's get him.

755
00:49:02.160 --> 00:49:08.000
Okay. Do you like to travel? You do like to travel? I do. Um, it just depends, uh, on,

756
00:49:08.000 --> 00:49:11.280
on where, I mean, I liked, I'd like to go anywhere. My goal and objective is like,

757
00:49:11.280 --> 00:49:16.000
I used to sell boutique French wine back in college for a little two-year stint. Um, I'm

758
00:49:16.000 --> 00:49:22.160
big on like the old world. So I love that stuff. So I know a little bit about wine. Um, but, uh,

759
00:49:22.160 --> 00:49:28.080
that, and then I I'm a beach guy too. I love the Caribbean. I love some people hate cruises. Some

760
00:49:28.080 --> 00:49:31.840
don't, I don't care. I'd rather go to destination. I love Costa Rica. I've been there before too, but

761
00:49:32.400 --> 00:49:36.720
yeah, it just depends. I mean, I want, I want my girls to be traveled. They're not old enough yet

762
00:49:36.720 --> 00:49:41.120
to really appreciate it. My youngest one is, but yes, I'd be open to travel too. I think it'd be

763
00:49:41.120 --> 00:49:46.720
fun for a family. I love that. If you're coming in late, if you have interest in Matthew and you

764
00:49:46.720 --> 00:49:52.240
believe that you are a match for him, you're not Delulu. You think that you're a match for him,

765
00:49:52.240 --> 00:49:57.040
then write to spotlight at Jane media.org. It's right here on the screen, in the chat,

766
00:49:57.040 --> 00:49:59.760
in the subject line, put Matt and then include a.

767
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.440
I owe and pictures.

768
00:50:01.440 --> 00:50:02.840
If you do not include pictures,

769
00:50:02.840 --> 00:50:05.740
we will throw your application right into the trash.

770
00:50:05.740 --> 00:50:07.240
You guys know I love you, right?

771
00:50:07.240 --> 00:50:10.720
I do love you, but you can't waste my team's time, okay?

772
00:50:10.720 --> 00:50:12.240
So we're gonna throw it right into the trash

773
00:50:12.240 --> 00:50:14.200
if it doesn't have any pictures with it, okay?

774
00:50:14.200 --> 00:50:15.840
And then do not contact us.

775
00:50:15.840 --> 00:50:17.180
We will contact you.

776
00:50:17.180 --> 00:50:19.080
If you are a match for Matthew

777
00:50:19.080 --> 00:50:21.080
and we show your profile to him,

778
00:50:21.080 --> 00:50:22.680
we will let you know, hey,

779
00:50:22.680 --> 00:50:24.320
we picked your profile to show to Matt.

780
00:50:24.320 --> 00:50:26.440
We will keep you posted on whether or not

781
00:50:26.440 --> 00:50:28.580
he wants to take it to the next level.

782
00:50:28.620 --> 00:50:30.580
Ladies, he would love to find someone

783
00:50:30.580 --> 00:50:32.860
who's in proximity, in driving distance,

784
00:50:32.860 --> 00:50:35.900
and he's here in the Austin area.

785
00:50:35.900 --> 00:50:38.580
So Houston, San Antonio, Dallas,

786
00:50:38.580 --> 00:50:43.280
I think parts of Louisiana are also in driving distance.

787
00:50:43.280 --> 00:50:44.940
But if you're long distance

788
00:50:44.940 --> 00:50:48.340
and you realize that he cannot move, he cannot relocate,

789
00:50:48.340 --> 00:50:51.820
and you are willing to relocate,

790
00:50:51.820 --> 00:50:54.900
and you're willing to do what needs to be done

791
00:50:54.900 --> 00:50:56.020
to date a single dad,

792
00:50:56.020 --> 00:50:58.360
which means he can't be running off to go see you,

793
00:50:59.140 --> 00:51:01.120
you'd have to come here a lot of the time to see him.

794
00:51:01.120 --> 00:51:04.400
If you're willing to put that kind of effort into things,

795
00:51:04.400 --> 00:51:06.800
then you can send us your spotlight, okay?

796
00:51:06.800 --> 00:51:09.400
But make sure that you have everything else on this list.

797
00:51:09.400 --> 00:51:11.020
You guys, this is an amazing list.

798
00:51:11.020 --> 00:51:15.440
This is a man whose non-negotiables are amazing, okay?

799
00:51:15.440 --> 00:51:17.080
Because a lot of times men give me

800
00:51:17.080 --> 00:51:18.720
a whole bunch of preferences

801
00:51:18.720 --> 00:51:20.600
masquerading as non-negotiables,

802
00:51:20.600 --> 00:51:23.160
but this guy, he is serious.

803
00:51:23.160 --> 00:51:25.280
He is a man who wants to be married

804
00:51:25.280 --> 00:51:27.200
and he wants to find an amazing partner

805
00:51:27.200 --> 00:51:28.800
to build a life with, all right?

806
00:51:28.800 --> 00:51:30.080
Yes, solid guy.

807
00:51:30.080 --> 00:51:31.240
I know a lot of you are invested

808
00:51:31.240 --> 00:51:32.800
in hearing about what happens with Matthew,

809
00:51:32.800 --> 00:51:34.680
and I definitely will update you.

810
00:51:34.680 --> 00:51:35.720
Remember, last year,

811
00:51:35.720 --> 00:51:39.040
single students and members get preferential treatment.

812
00:51:39.040 --> 00:51:41.240
We will look at your applications first.

813
00:51:41.240 --> 00:51:42.920
All right, Matthew, anything that you want to say

814
00:51:42.920 --> 00:51:44.520
before we let you go?

815
00:51:45.520 --> 00:51:48.240
No, other than the fact that if I'm not the right match

816
00:51:48.240 --> 00:51:49.320
and you're moving forward,

817
00:51:49.320 --> 00:51:50.320
just I encourage you all,

818
00:51:50.320 --> 00:51:53.040
because I've been able to do this for the men in my life too

819
00:51:53.040 --> 00:51:54.960
and I'll probably have some buddies of mine

820
00:51:54.960 --> 00:51:56.720
that I'm going to send your way to, Jackie,

821
00:51:57.680 --> 00:52:00.200
but I believe the men that I know in my group,

822
00:52:00.200 --> 00:52:03.600
like all those men, literally think the way I do.

823
00:52:03.600 --> 00:52:07.640
Some are a little more nerdy in the Bible than I am,

824
00:52:07.640 --> 00:52:08.760
but I'm telling you,

825
00:52:08.760 --> 00:52:12.080
if I have eight of us that meet on Mondays

826
00:52:12.080 --> 00:52:14.960
and we're all within 15 minutes of each other,

827
00:52:14.960 --> 00:52:17.160
I know that every woman in here

828
00:52:17.160 --> 00:52:19.160
that's desiring that relationship is going to find it.

829
00:52:19.160 --> 00:52:20.160
You just have to be patient

830
00:52:20.160 --> 00:52:23.960
and just don't be desperate for that man.

831
00:52:23.960 --> 00:52:25.200
Be desperate for the Lord.

832
00:52:25.240 --> 00:52:27.400
And when you're desperate for the Lord,

833
00:52:27.400 --> 00:52:28.760
that's what's going to open,

834
00:52:28.760 --> 00:52:30.320
the Lord is going to open your heart

835
00:52:30.320 --> 00:52:31.400
to be able to get the right guy.

836
00:52:31.400 --> 00:52:33.240
But if you're desperate for that guy,

837
00:52:33.240 --> 00:52:35.720
you're just stifling the Lord's ability

838
00:52:35.720 --> 00:52:36.760
to work on your own heart

839
00:52:36.760 --> 00:52:37.840
on the stuff you need to work for.

840
00:52:37.840 --> 00:52:39.440
Because the last thing you want to do

841
00:52:39.440 --> 00:52:42.280
is go into a relationship like mine and sabotage it

842
00:52:42.280 --> 00:52:43.680
so those little girls are brokenhearted.

843
00:52:43.680 --> 00:52:45.000
Because you're not just going to break my heart,

844
00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:46.400
you're going to break their heart.

845
00:52:46.400 --> 00:52:47.480
And that's what I always encourage.

846
00:52:47.480 --> 00:52:48.720
That's where I had to come around.

847
00:52:48.720 --> 00:52:51.820
It's like, hey, now my heart's ready to move forward.

848
00:52:52.920 --> 00:52:55.080
My girl's hearts are ready for their dad to move forward.

849
00:52:56.040 --> 00:52:56.880
It's a perfect situation.

850
00:52:56.880 --> 00:52:58.120
It's the perfect timing.

851
00:52:58.120 --> 00:52:58.960
It's it.

852
00:52:58.960 --> 00:53:00.040
This is everyone's hearts in the right place.

853
00:53:00.040 --> 00:53:02.600
And friends, that's why last year's single members

854
00:53:02.600 --> 00:53:04.160
will be given preferential treatment

855
00:53:04.160 --> 00:53:06.320
because heart work is phase one.

856
00:53:06.320 --> 00:53:07.920
And what he's saying is what we do.

857
00:53:07.920 --> 00:53:10.280
We make sure that you are putting everything

858
00:53:10.280 --> 00:53:12.680
in the right priority in your life

859
00:53:12.680 --> 00:53:14.800
and you are dealing with your unhealed stuff.

860
00:53:14.800 --> 00:53:16.880
Because I will tell you, as a blended mom,

861
00:53:16.880 --> 00:53:19.200
the thing that will bring out the stuff

862
00:53:19.200 --> 00:53:22.440
that is not healed the fastest is relationship.

863
00:53:22.440 --> 00:53:24.300
And relationship with a single dad

864
00:53:24.340 --> 00:53:25.860
that has baby mama drama

865
00:53:25.860 --> 00:53:27.500
and has all these different things going on.

866
00:53:27.500 --> 00:53:29.320
If you are not healed, if you are not whole,

867
00:53:29.320 --> 00:53:33.460
if you're not healthy, then you will not make it, okay?

868
00:53:33.460 --> 00:53:35.940
And so we definitely do not want these little girls

869
00:53:35.940 --> 00:53:38.300
to get attached to you and fall in love with you

870
00:53:38.300 --> 00:53:40.900
just for you to bail out and crash out, all right?

871
00:53:40.900 --> 00:53:43.060
So ladies, you've done your heart work last year,

872
00:53:43.060 --> 00:53:44.180
single, send a spot.

873
00:53:44.180 --> 00:53:48.060
You guys, listen, I better not get any applications

874
00:53:48.060 --> 00:53:51.020
that are not the things that we laid down tonight.

875
00:53:51.020 --> 00:53:52.500
And I'm going to give some,

876
00:53:52.500 --> 00:53:54.220
this will be available in replay

877
00:53:54.220 --> 00:53:56.280
only in the last year single community,

878
00:53:56.280 --> 00:53:57.540
not on my Instagram channel.

879
00:53:57.540 --> 00:53:59.180
That's another perk of being the last year

880
00:53:59.180 --> 00:54:00.740
single community for all the ladies

881
00:54:00.740 --> 00:54:01.940
that couldn't come tonight

882
00:54:01.940 --> 00:54:04.100
that might want to send in their application.

883
00:54:04.100 --> 00:54:05.260
All right, you guys never know.

884
00:54:05.260 --> 00:54:08.380
His eight friends, I might do an Austin version

885
00:54:08.380 --> 00:54:11.500
of farmer needs a wife and get them all on a panel

886
00:54:11.500 --> 00:54:13.100
and talk to all of them at the same time.

887
00:54:13.100 --> 00:54:14.140
It might be amazing.

888
00:54:14.140 --> 00:54:16.780
All right, let's find Matt's wife.

889
00:54:16.780 --> 00:54:19.420
If you're not his wife and you know his wife

890
00:54:19.420 --> 00:54:20.500
based on what we just said,

891
00:54:20.500 --> 00:54:21.860
if someone's coming to your mind,

892
00:54:22.220 --> 00:54:23.540
if they're coming to your heart and spirit,

893
00:54:23.540 --> 00:54:25.460
then send in an application for them

894
00:54:25.460 --> 00:54:27.420
with their permission, of course,

895
00:54:27.420 --> 00:54:31.740
because I really believe that we have his wife.

896
00:54:31.740 --> 00:54:32.580
I know that we do.

897
00:54:32.580 --> 00:54:33.700
And you're invited to the wedding if that happens,

898
00:54:33.700 --> 00:54:36.020
if you're the referee, you're definitely coming.

899
00:54:36.020 --> 00:54:37.460
Oh, me?

900
00:54:37.460 --> 00:54:39.180
No, whoever refers somebody.

901
00:54:39.180 --> 00:54:42.460
Oh, yeah, yes, listen, if you refer,

902
00:54:42.460 --> 00:54:44.420
you refer, you even get to come

903
00:54:44.420 --> 00:54:46.100
and eat cake at Matthew's wedding.

904
00:54:46.100 --> 00:54:48.420
All right, all right, ladies, love you so much.

905
00:54:48.420 --> 00:54:49.380
Matthew, thank you so much.

906
00:54:49.380 --> 00:54:50.220
I'll be in touch.

907
00:54:50.220 --> 00:54:51.460
You're very welcome, ladies.

908
00:54:52.100 --> 00:54:52.940
Y'all have a good night.

909
00:54:52.940 --> 00:54:53.780
Bye.

910
00:54:53.780 --> 00:54:54.620
See you.

911
00:54:54.620 --> 00:54:55.460
Thank you.