All right, we're ready to get started.
You guys, welcome to the first single spotlight of 2026.
I'm so excited to do these again.
Thank you for joining me.
I'm just gonna make a little bit of announcements
here at the beginning.
Your camera has to be on during single spotlights.
So whether it's this one or a future one that you come to,
be camera ready, have your camera on.
We do have our team here ready, our admin team.
They are going to start removing people
here in the next few minutes if your camera is not on.
And you can't just have your avatar picture.
You have to have your camera actually on
during the single spotlight.
So I see several people that don't have their cameras on.
So let's get your cameras on,
including our bachelor for tonight.
Let's get your camera turned on.
All right, everybody, Brooklyn, camera on.
You guys don't wanna be removed.
And trust me, we don't wanna remove you.
And so admin team-
My name is Jackie.
Hello, our admin team.
Go ahead and remove anyone whose camera is off
and any men besides our bachelor.
So if anyone's here that is not a female
or has their camera off,
just make sure that we remove them from the meeting.
Okay, awesome.
All right, we are getting ready to go here.
Let me go ahead and get spotlighted.
Ladies, please hold all of your questions for the end.
We will do a speed round of questions, Q&A.
It's gonna be great.
All right.
All righty.
All right, we're getting the spotlight going here.
I just lost our bachelor.
He disappeared.
So I don't know if he got kicked off.
Are you still here, Matt?
I think that-
Hopefully he didn't get removed by the admin team.
That didn't happen, did it, admin team?
Sorry, I think I did.
We'll get him back on.
If you removed him, he won't be able to rejoin.
It won't let him.
Okay, I'll get back to him.
Hold on.
It's never a dull moment, friends.
All right.
All right, you guys, if you're just joining,
go ahead and put your city, state, country in the chat.
Melissa, I'm sorry if you're not decently clothed,
but you will have to be removed if your camera's not on.
Go put some decent clothes on.
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
Okay.
All right, we got our bachelor back after we removed him.
All right.
Awesome.
All right, I have no idea what's going on right now, you guys.
We're having a few technical difficulties,
so we'll figure it out here in just a second.
There you are.
Hi, Matt, can you see me?
Yes, I can see you.
Awesome, I can see you too.
All right, wonderful.
So let's get started.
Ladies, go ahead and hold your questions till the end.
Remember, please put your camera on
because we don't want to remove you.
We do not want to remove you.
All right, so ladies, tonight's bachelor is Matthew.
He lives here in Texas, around where I live.
So we're talking the Austin area.
We're gonna be a little bit cryptic tonight, friends,
because you're gonna have an opportunity
to send a application, send your information,
your bio, your pictures to our spotlight email
if you think that you and Matt are a match.
And so we don't really have to give a lot of,
you know, really specific details about Matt tonight
because he is a single dad
and we do want to respect privacy
and also for safety reasons.
Ladies usually aren't the ones who are weirdos,
but you know, there are ladies who are weirdos.
And so we don't know.
We never know.
All right, so if you're new to me, welcome to me.
I'm Jackie Dorman.
I am the founder of something called Last Year Single.
It is a program for marriage-minded singles
and specifically Christian marriage-minded singles.
Although if you're marriage-minded and you're not a Christian, I do think that you would benefit
from our program as well because we do have a lot of what I call pre-believers in our program
every once in a while and that is always a good experience for them. I'm also the author of
several best-selling books and I do have a new book coming out called Modern Dating Sucks,
a matchmaker's guide to finding love in a swipe left world. And you guys, that book is available
right now in pre-sale still on my website JackieDorman.com. Go grab it. It will be life-changing
for you. And I also want to tell you that that pre-sale is going to end tomorrow because the
books are actually being shipped out to all the people who bought the book in pre-sale. And so
if you want to get it in pre-sale because there's some perks that come with it for that $25, not
just the book but actual perks. So if you want to get it, make sure you get it tonight because
the pre-sale is going to end tomorrow. All right. All right. The link is right there in the comments.
All right. So Matthew, I'm just going to ask you some really boring questions to get the
conversation going. Thank you so much for joining us tonight. Matthew and I have been talking back
and forth for about two years now, which is incredible. And you guys, I really do believe
that timing is everything. And so, you know, I have people all the time get introduced to me.
People send me, people say, hey, you know, you should make a match for this person or you should
help this person find someone. And, you know, sometimes the timing is off. I believe that
matches happen when we're in the right place at the right time and also with the right circumstances
and the right heart. And so all of that trifecta has come together for Matt in this season. And
and just to kind of confirm that for all you spiritual girlies, you're not just Christians,
but you're super spiritual with the signs and with, you know, God speaking and the prophetic.
I was at a bridal dress try-on, no lie, this last weekend. And as I was there watching the bride
try on her dresses, the groom's mother says to me, I have a guy that my husband is friends with
at church that I would really love to have you match. And guess who it was? It was Matt.
She described him and I said, is his name Matthew? And she's like, you know him? And I was like,
of all the gin joints in all the world, you just walk into this one, right? That's a line from
Casablanca, by the way. So yeah, so that happened. And so that to me, Matthew and I had just
reconnected like the week or two before. And I was like, what an amazing kind of confirmation
that the trifecta is ready. Right heart, right time, right place for Matt. Okay. So my daughters,
my daughters keep pressuring me too. Now they're like, dad, it's been five years. You need to move
on. I was like, okay. Okay. So let's just jump out with the daughter. So how old's the oldest?
There's three of them. How old's the oldest? My oldest is nine and a half. My middle one is eight
and my youngest one turned six in June. So I have three girls. So remind me is nine and a half third
grade. No, she's fourth. She's a young fourth grader. Okay. Young fourth grader. And so they're
pretty, I'm sorry. How old's the youngest? Six. She's going to be six in June, right after the
school year ends. So they're all pretty close in age. Yeah. They're two from the oldest to
the youngest is 46 months. And so the two oldest are 16 months apart. So it was pretty fast. So
wow. I'm very, very, very much a, a very involved girl. Dad, like to the nth degree,
like you can see in my room, it's just, everything's about, this is my office,
half of it's theirs in my office. So, but have you had your fingernails painted? This is what
we need to know. No, I have had my hair. I have had when it was a little bit longer. So they like
me wearing like this. Now they like me to show the gray. So they don't, they don't like it too long.
They don't like it too short. They like, it's kind of where it is right now, but yeah, I know
they're just, I, my oldest one is extremely high EQ. She's very sensitive. She is nearly 10 going
on 30. So she has very adult conversations. My middle one is extremely salty. She's my sour patch
kids. So it's either, she really wants to hug on me. And then she's like, don't even touch me.
You know, it's just like, and then my youngest one is just my youngest one's all trouble. Like
she'll, she's like an arsonist. She'll start the fire and then she'll sit back like this and watch
her sisters just, so yeah, they're all very different personalities, but yeah, I've had the
hair curled, had the hair ties in. I told them, I don't know if I'm ready for nail nails yet. So
it's like, yeah, I enjoy hanging out with them. Like it's, it's, you know, talk about them a lot.
church, work, everybody knows that I'm an adamant girl dad.
So every part of my life has been, yeah.
I love that. I love that so much.
And for all of us that grew up with dads that are like that, we appreciate that.
And for all of us that grew up with dads that are not like that,
dads that were not emotionally available, not physically available, um,
then this is kind of a healing conversation for you guys to hear about this
girl, dad who absolutely adores his daughters. Okay. So,
so Matt is a single dad. He lives around here in an Austin, Texas area.
All right. And so Matt,
you just said that the girls like for you to show your gray and we can go gray
early, but how old are you?
I actually turn 48 next Tuesday.
So 48 next Tuesday. So happy early birthday.
Usually, usually I get head turns from that. I, I, I, I thank my mom and dad.
So I usually get like the late thirties, early forties usually,
but that's my youngest brother. I'm the oldest of three boys.
He was carded until he was 36. So that's how young.
You definitely look much younger than 48. No lie. And I agree. And you know,
and I'm, I'm living that life too. My face card never declines. I'm my fifties.
And people are always like, what?
And I didn't believe you either. It's good. It's good nutrition.
Well, it's good nutrition working out since I have,
I don't have time to go to the gym. I brought the gym to my garage.
So I stay in shape and I eat right.
And that's one of the things that girls love about the house too, is like, I,
I cook, I do all the stuff around the house. It's like, it's, it's,
it's a big responsibility teaching them all that stuff too.
Gotta do it. I mean, who's going to do it?
The nine and a half year old's not ready to do it.
No, you could, you could make it easy and do microwave this and that,
but I believe in, you know, teaching them how to cook and stuff like that.
So like my mom did when I was their age. So it was like just passing,
passing that stuff on too. So,
so eating healthy and working out is a lifestyle.
Yeah. Yeah. Along with, I'm in, I'm in construction as well.
I've been in it a long time. Um, but it's,
I see a lot of the men that are my age that actually there's men that are 10,
15 years younger than me that look older. They just don't take care of themselves.
So in the world that I'm in,
I realized as an older dad cause I have many friends of mine at church too,
that are already grandpas. And for me being an older dad,
I still, when my youngest turns
18, I'll be 60. So it's like, you know,
she's six years old. So my thing is like,
I owe it to my daughters and to myself to stay in shape and keep that.
Because I believe in, you know, when, when the word talks about, you know,
you know, taking care of your, your spiritual body.
Like
your body is the temple and they didn't just take care.
So if I'm want this to be a place where the spirit resides,
I gotta be able to make sure I'm taking care of all of it. And it's,
I want my girls to see that example as well too. And not, you know,
understand that it doesn't have to be idolatrous,
but taking care of yourself needs to be a very important person about, you know,
because there's a lot of bad examples out there and I want the good example
coming from their father.
Yeah, no, absolutely. I love that. I love that. Okay. So let's talk about,
you know, because you,
you brought up a lot of different directions that we could go in.
But I think that I want to talk about, you know, your spiritual,
your spiritual life,
because all of these ladies are going to ask these questions.
If we go to Q and A and we haven't talked about this yet,
then people are going to ask. So like, tell us, kick us a little bit,
just a few minutes on your faith journey. Were you raised in the church?
When did you become a believer? Like what, what is your,
what's the moment that you, that you met Jesus? Talk, tell us about that.
So I was raised in a pastoral home, um, in gosh,
years ago in Virginia. That's where I'm originally from.
I moved here seven years ago. Um, so my dad was a pastor.
My parents were in the church. Um, uh, they actually did marriage counseling,
did a lot of counseling as well too. So it was, um, uh,
being involved in that,
being involved in elementary high school and middle school ministries, um,
doing a lot of public speaking stuff,
getting involved in worship and things like that.
But the moment that I knew that I wanted the Lord in my life was, you know,
40 years ago. So it was when I was eight, eight, nine years old. So, um,
it hasn't been easy. There's been a lot of heartache there, things like that.
So I've like many Christians do. There's some that stay this way the whole way,
but I had some time of backsliding and that was college, which was rough. But,
um, the Lord, the Lord really, um,
continued to be,
be patient and loving and caring like a good father. And, you know, just,
you know, really getting my life back on board. I, I was,
I always knew the Lord was there for me. It's just,
sometimes I just wanted to kind of deny and just, you know, just.
run into my own flesh and, um, I'm,
and I think sometimes being in that household was sometimes overbearing.
I even tell my parents that sometimes it was kind of like helicopter. Um,
but even having those early conversations with my daughters,
even though all three of them,
none of them have made the personal decision yet to follow the Lord.
My oldest one was like right there. Um, and it's,
I think it's mainly because of the example, especially going through, you know,
a not very pretty divorce. It was pretty ugly. Um, I, I,
I had to maintain a very, you know,
your flesh wants to talk bad things and cause you see those things happen.
But that's one of the biggest things I think my daughters have gained respect
for their father in the last five years is that they're like,
they don't understand how I can continue to speak nicely about their mom.
And I said, because that's, that's your mother. That's, that's your mother.
You will always only have one mother.
And if you truly believe in what God tells us to do in the Bible,
because we do scriptures every, every morning, we, we read the Bible.
And I pray over them, um, every morning before they go to school. And,
and I tell them this is that regardless if you agree or disagree with what your
mother is doing, and sometimes you've expressed that you still owe her to love,
honor, and respect that God requires of you. And that way,
nobody says when I grow up, I want to be divorced.
And especially not being raised in a pastor's home where your parents are still
married. I'm sure that that was just, uh, you know, uh,
definitely something that you never wanted to have happen.
So how long ago was the divorce final?
Well, the divorce was the divorce was final in 22,
but we had been, we,
we had been living off temporary orders for like four and a half years.
And I finally, fortunately, based on what, what history had shown them,
I am, I'm a unicorn in Texas right now. So I am the custodial
parent. I have primary residence and I don't pay child support. Um,
so there was a little hard for about eight years though. So four and a half,
eight and a half, roughly.
Well, 21 is when 21 is when it happened. So it was roughly five years,
but the marriage was dead eight years ago. Like it was bad. Like it was,
it was hurtful. It was, it was bordering on all the abuses,
except the physical side. So it was,
it was rough because my oldest daughter saw that that's where, you know,
she has a lot of anxiety sometimes she's dealing with and we're praying with her
through that. But yeah, but it's, you know, yeah. How,
how they reacted and improved. Well,
how they reacted and improved through it really was I had to be there for them.
You know, I had to make sure that I was getting the help.
And a lot of the men that I minister to now that are,
I have seven other dads that are single dads that I meet with sporadically on
Mondays and there's 22 kids between us.
And so I'm kind of like a father figure and older brother to a lot of these
guys with 22 kids.
And these are Christian men that are trying to fight for their kids that have
very, very, very abusive ex-wives. Um, and you know,
the key thing is they want to lash out. And I said, you can't do that.
Because if you, if the Lord is who you say is your father,
you have to be able to operate in a manner to love those who hate you.
It doesn't matter. There's no excuse. There's nothing that you can,
you can say to justify what your ex does,
because what your kids need to see is your kids will be smart.
Your kids will grow up and they'll see the disparity between the two households.
It's not your job to point it out. It's the Lord's job.
All you can do is hold your head up high and take the high road every single
time. I said, Jesus did it. The disciples did it.
The Holy spirit is enabling you and empowering you to do that in this.
Um, and so, um,
one of the things that you and I talked about when we first started talking was,
you know, and I, and I deal with a lot of divorced people.
There's a lot of women here who are divorced, but talking about, you know,
what kind of woman you would need in order to, um,
to partner for not just your sake, but the sake of your daughters, you know,
you put your daughters first,
you want a woman who can be a role model example, obviously,
there's some tense situations with their mom and even with her mental health and
with the things around her. So this woman is going to be, um, you know, uh,
the, the, the role model, you know,
that's one of the things that you said to me is that, you know,
I really want someone who'd be a really good role model for my daughters.
And, um, what does that look like?
So this kind of describes us the kind of woman that you think would be, um,
a good role model for your daughters,
the attributes of the type of woman that you're looking for the attributes.
Well, I think the first thing is, of course, is a woman that loves,
loves the Lord. And I, I want that woman.
And I say this with complete conviction is that woman needs to love the Lord
more than me, because that's how I'm going to love,
because I truly believe what the Lord's that the Bible says about
that a man is supposed to emulate himself after how Christ loves the church.
And then women are supposed to emulate how the church is serving and adoring the Father.
And a lot of times people say, well, we all need to be like Christ.
And I'm saying, I'm talking about how the Word talks about that marriage is literally an example of Christ in the church.
A man's example there, whether or not some people agree with this or not, in my opinion, the man has a lot larger of a responsibility.
He literally has to lay his life down like Christ did for his family.
Sometimes that's sacrificing certain things.
And that's what I want.
I want a woman to understand that I want to be a leader, but I don't want that woman to feel like she's enslaved.
It needs to be like, hey, it's a helpmate. It's a partner.
This is not just that part of leadership.
I want my daughters to see that.
And with a woman that's not going to replace their mother, but it's going to exemplify wifey and motherly attributes.
Because I want those girls to see that growing up.
Because I tell my girls often say, listen, little nasty girls that don't obey and don't listen.
Fortunately, they turn into not very nice women when they grow up.
And it starts at your foundation.
Let's talk about that for a second.
Because I know a lot of women are going to ask this because what you're talking about is a woman's dream.
Women love a man who loves the Lord and wants to live for God and wants her to live for God with him.
You're speaking all their language.
But the church that you attend, I think I do have some friends that go to your church, but I haven't asked this question of them.
Are you guys more egalitarian?
Are there women in ministry?
Are there pastors and teachers that are female in your church?
Do you believe in that?
Do you believe that women lead men spiritually?
Maybe not pastors, but men in general.
As far as the teaching pastors and the leaders and the elders,
it's a non-denominational kind of charismatic churches that believes in gifts of the spirit, things like that.
But it's not like the Pentecostals running through the aisles and hooping and hollering.
But it's a very beautiful church.
The Bible is literally the way it's teached there.
It's not very thematic.
It's expositional.
Like we've been in the book of Matthew for 18 months.
Donnie, who's the lead pastor, believes in going through word by word, scripture by scripture, verse by verse, and really breaking down what it means.
Going through historical stuff, going through the actual translations of certain words.
It's just a beautiful way of doing it.
I'm part of our worship team there, too.
I'm on the choir as well as one of the leaders at some of our smaller campuses when we need help there.
It's just everything about the church from the worship to the preaching to the help ministries.
We have a widow's ministry, divorce care.
We also have Three Strands, which I am one of the counselors in that helps people who are maybe drug addictions, struggle with the law in and out of prison, or having a tough time maintaining custody of their kids.
I've been a mentor to one of the young men that's gone through that.
Divorce care changed my life, too, for people going through separation or divorce.
And my daughter's got to help out.
Do women at your church have platform ministries?
Are they pastors or teachers over the congregation?
No, not for that.
I mean, some are in some of the ancillary ministries, like the divorce care, some of the widow's ministries, yes.
But as far as the actual frontline speakers and teachers and pastors, no.
Do you believe that women can do that?
That's a tough question.
Here's the thing.
The match for you is the match for you, so there's no wrong answer.
Because there are women that believe that they can't, and there are women that believe that they can.
And so, once again, this is just a really important question.
I am very, just completely candidly, very traditional and old school with that.
Right, there we go.
I'm sorry.
If that offends people, I'm sorry.
A traditional man.
This is a traditional man.
Yeah.
So let's talk about what it would look like to be married to you.
You know, does your wife work?
I mean.
No, that to me is just.
We're married, okay?
So they're picturing themselves married to you.
Does your wife work?
That really depends.
You want her to be at home for the girls?
Are the girls going to school?
Do the girls get homeschooled?
Like, what do we got?
The girls are going to school.
Yeah, so the girls are going to school.
But like, for me, depending on whether or not that it's a blended family or whether or not it's somebody that, you know, is fine being a bonus mom or, or somebody that wants to, you know, that's.
It's not a complete deal breaker for somebody that maybe wants to have at least one.
That's fine. Cause I am an already an older dad.
I need you to hear that. Okay. So, so Matt is going to be 48 next Tuesday.
He has three young daughters for those of you that are just joining us ages six to
almost 10. Okay. And so, um, he is, you know,
maybe not wanting to necessarily have another biological child cause he's 48.
You just heard him say when his youngest is 18, he's going to be in his sixties.
And a lot of you feel that way as well. You're like, yeah,
but he is for the right woman. It's not a deal breaker.
It's not a non-negotiable. He isn't in the boys club.
He doesn't have a vasectomy. Okay.
So he is willing for the right person to actually have another
biological child. But Matt, what if the woman already has children as well?
Now Matt can't relocate. He has shared parenting with his former wife.
He has to stay here in Texas. Um, but what if she lives in Texas?
What if she's a widow? What if she has children? How do you feel about someone?
You already got three girls in the house.
How do you feel about other children being brought into the mix?
I mean, other children for me is not a problem. I always wanted the big family.
Like my goal was four to six kids. That's what I wanted. Um,
so being a dad of a big, healthy household, it's fine. Um,
and, and just, I would think that would, that discussion about work. I mean,
ideally I, I don't like the idea of kids being raised by others.
I think it's important for the parents to be involved.
My mom was a stay at home mom. Her mom was a stay at home mom.
And it's just down the line. Um, but financially a stay at home mom.
Potentially. It depends. It depends on the size of the blended family.
Really. If it was somebody who came to the mix, absolutely.
Say that it's just the three of them, the four of you and her.
Yeah. Yeah.
All right. Here's the thing. I, men come to me all the time. They're like,
I'm a, I want a trad wife.
I want a traditional wife that wants to stay at home.
And the very first question I asked them is that,
can you afford a woman to stay at home?
Because there are a lot of women that would love to stay at home and,
and, you know, and be industrious, you know, be great homemakers,
but also maybe have like a little home business, maybe make things,
maybe bake things, maybe do things. I mean, there's all kinds of stuff,
all kinds of entrepreneurial minded things to do from home nowadays.
Yeah. It was awesome. But even if at the beginning,
it's kind of a transition where the desire is to eventually be at home, but you
know, I don't,
I don't want a woman to feel like she's got to completely cut it off and be
like, okay, I got to give my two weeks notice now. I mean,
I believe there can be a transition in there too. There's just, it's just,
it's one of those things to talk through because I also know that in the
position that many women have been in there, they're used to a certain way,
but if their desire is to stay home and their desire is to make that change into
a blended family, whatever,
then that's something that I think is fair to talk about. I don't,
I can't just like stomp my foot and say, it's going to be this way. It's,
I don't think it works that way. That's not,
that's not loving and that's not a great way to really start off the
relationship to make all these demands and things without having.
No one wants anyone stomping their feet, but here's the thing.
When we're very clear, ladies,
I really want you to pay attention because my book has a lot of chapters on
this.
When we're very clear from the very beginning about who we are and what we
want, then there doesn't need to be missed expectations.
And that's why I'm asking these deep questions,
because if you write into us for a spotlight,
you need to understand exactly what it is that, you know,
this man thinks how he feels where his heart is because there's a match for
everyone.
Nobody has to dumb down or diminish what they want just to get a match.
In fact, you're going to end up with the wrong match if you do that.
So we ended up with loves the Lord.
What are some of the other attributes that the right match for you?
Not a perfect woman, but perfect for you, Matt,
let's get going to some other attributes.
I want somebody who really,
who really just falls in and abides by her love languages too.
Don't be afraid of those. Cause I mean, I'm,
I'm big on the love languages as far as that. Mine, um,
mine is physical touch and quality time.
Most people don't get that from guys sometimes, but it is, it always has been.
Um, cause my dad.
Can you explain to us what quality time is? And you know,
when women hear a man say physical touch, which most men do,
they think immediately sex, you know,
like just give us an example of physical. And by the way, ladies,
Matt is open to every race of woman. For those of you that are going to ask that
he's open to every race of woman. Um, and, uh,
what did we talk about? We asked, I asked her color race doesn't matter.
As long as the hair color race, those are,
those are all that he doesn't have necessarily preference.
It's whoever he's vibing with and he's connecting to. All right.
Give us an example of physical touch and give us an example of quality time.
Well, I mean, I mean, physical touch,
you like to snuggle you're snuggling with your kids. Yeah. Yeah. Do all the time.
I mean, I prefer big spoon, but Hey, if you want to be a big spoon, whatever.
I mean, okay. I expect a little neck rub or something like that.
If you're going to be big spoon, that's on the backside. So, but, but even,
even like sometimes like I have a very high demanding job.
So a lot of responsibility work for a multi-billion dollar company and I'm running portions of
hundred million dollar projects.
So when I get, I mean, I'm battling the world on the outside.
So when I get home, I don't want to battle at home.
I want peace and the thing is for me, like for me, physical touch could be just like,
Hey, I don't want to go out.
You want to just sit in and chill on the couch.
We'll make some food, open a bottle of wine and watch a movie or binge watch a show we
really like, like I don't need to have to go outside all the time.
I'm an ambivert.
So I can be an extrovert if I need to be, and I can be an introvert.
So in this transition, the last 10 years of my life, I've found out from friends of mine
that are psychologists and they're like, yeah, you're not, you're not an extrovert.
You can be, but the fact that you're willing to stay home on a Saturday and do five to
six loads of yours and your daughter's laundry, binge watch a show and have a couple bourbons
and do whatever.
That's introvert mentality right there.
You don't have to go out and spend time with people.
And it would really be hard to be an extrovert as a single dad of three girls because extroverts
really get their energy from social interaction.
And so that would mean that you would want to always be on the go, always be around other
people and it would really be really hard in the, it's, it's funny sometimes when they're
with their mom, they're always on the go all the time.
But when they come to me, they're like, dad, can we just sleep in Saturday and not do anything?
Absolutely.
Let's do it.
Um, like what I do with my girls is like, we'll sit on the couch sometimes and what
we do at least once a week, we do a little picnic.
So we'll lay out a towel on the living room floor, we'll watch a movie, I'll make them
food and then we'll just eat like it's a picnic in the living room.
So, um, then quality time too, um, I'm starting with my, my girls this summer cause they're
not old enough to, so I believe in dating my daughters.
So, um, I want to make sure that every one of them gets alone time with dad.
Let me ask you a question that women are going to ask because of what you just said, because
that's amazing.
And you're making everyone fall in love with you just so you know.
But one thing that I want to ask is this, is that do you believe, cause these daughters
sound amazing, they sound adorable and sweet.
And I know that you haven't said this is on your list yet, but I know that your list is
going to, is going to include someone who's going to love your daughters like they're
her own.
And you know, um, but do you believe that when you get married, that that woman comes
before your daughters?
That's a, that's a tough question.
A lot of people would not like the answer, but my daughters know that when I marry a
woman, even though that they're my kids, that woman is my wife needs to be a priority in
that relationship.
And that, and this, and it's sometimes people I know in mothers and fathers that can't let
go of that ideal that no matter what, but I'm like, how do you expect the marriage to
work if you're referring to those kids as your kids and they're not our kids or when
it comes to discipline, like, um, you know, she should be as willing to say, Hey, you
know, we'll talk about what, what discipline looks like in our household and what we do.
Like telling corporal punishment in my house doesn't work, but time out and away from just
listening to it.
One of their favorite shows their sisters are doing or being in timeouts, that thing,
it cuts their soul.
Um, so just talking about that stuff, I just listened to an amazing sermon about the actual
language, um, that the, you know, spare the rods, spoil the child, you know, God corrects
those that he loves what the actual language in the actual, you know, real translations
of those words mean.
And actually it has nothing to do with physical punishment friends.
So, you know, we're not going to keep you from spanking your children, but the Bible
isn't actually telling you to spank your children, just so you know, if you don't
discipline them, you hate them, it says you, you gotta discipline them, but it doesn't
mean, you know, you physically, physically, um, harming them.
Okay.
So, and for all of those that were beat as children, you know, because your parents wanted
to do right by the Lord, I know that's probably going to sit wrong with you, but all right.
I, the Lord wants a traditional man is a tried kind of wife, um, love language, physical
touch.
So doesn't not want to be touched, likes to be touched, likes to be close, soft-spaced
land, gentle, feminine.
And then quality time, I would say not just my daughters are getting that example, but
I believe in dating in the marriage.
I don't believe it's like, okay, we're locked in.
We're done.
It's just, I, I fricking hate when dating stops.
I watched my parents do it.
They're been married, gosh, they're going on.
Holy cow.
I think I forgot 46 years, 46, 47 years, 46 years.
Yeah.
So, um, my parents make it a point.
They constantly dated when we were teenagers, they were like, oh God, we can get out of
the house.
So, um, but yeah, I, I believe in that.
I saw the example of it and I saw how it really changed the landscape of my parents' marriage.
It kept.
them alive. It kept their marriage fresh. And it was a time where from the stress of the kids,
the stress of work, the stress of the household obligations, just getting out and going to do
something with each other. Um, or even if it's just going over to another couple's house just
to have like, Hey, we're not going to be at home. We're going out somewhere. You know,
it's more chill. It's not out in public, whatever. It's just with friends.
I believe in continuing that on. I mean, I don't, I don't want, I want my girls to understand how
important that is too. It's like, I told my oldest, she's like, well, when I, when I get
married someday and she's like, do I still date my husband? I said, absolutely. Yes, absolutely.
Absolutely. We're going to go into a speed round of questions because we're running out of time.
Um, so let's just recap. Matthew wants a woman who doesn't matter what race doesn't matter what
hair color you have, but here's some attributes that you're going to have. Now listen, because
my inbox is not a free for all. Okay. Spotlight at Jackie Dorman or is it Jane media? Can you put it
up? Um, admin team, Cheryl, is it Jackie dorman.com or is it a jmedia.org? I think it's
jmedia.org. It's spotlight, not spotlight spotlight at janemedia.org. That is where
you're going to send your interest in math to, to Matthew too. Okay. There it is right there.
All right. Please do not send interest if you are not the following. Okay. Love the Lord. Okay.
Has a really mature relationship with the Lord. I don't care if you've been saved for five minutes
or 15 years or 20 years, you have a mature relationship with the Lord. You are not
desperate for a husband. You've put God first in your life. Okay. And that looks like fruit.
Your life is full of fruit of your relationship with God. All right. Your love languages are
compatible to physical touch and quality time. You are traditional minded woman. You're not a,
you know, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with women who are empowered and, you know,
want to be independent, but this is not going to be the right match for this bachelor. Okay.
You're someone who wants to be interdependent. You're someone who wants to partner. You're
someone who can partner. You have a gentle spirit. You're going to have three little girls.
Okay. Immediately if you marry this man. Okay. So it's an instant family. And that means that
as a blended mom, I'm going to tell you, because I am a blended mom and I've been a blended mom
for 20 years. And my, the kids were little when I married their dad, I'm going to tell you,
you cannot be a territorial person. You cannot be a jealous person. You cannot be an insecure person.
If you are any of those things, and you know that about yourself, this is not the right match for
you. Okay. Because even though that relationship with the former wife is tense and, you know,
she's got, you know, she needs some healing and different things. She's still going to be in these
girls' lives. She's still going to be their mom. And so if you can't deal with that, then just
do not send us a message. Okay. And can I add something in there? Super mature. Yeah.
Also, these girls have not been used to, they're giving me extra love because they
see what I'm loving on them and how I still treat their mother with respect.
I'm just giving fair warning. If people are weird about kids touching them or whatever,
I'm just telling you the moment they see you respecting me and honoring me and being a good
woman to me, those girls are going to be all over you. They're not going to want to let you go
because they love their mom, but their mom doesn't always necessarily display the most
mom-like qualities. Sometimes they tell me that they'll be on the phone the whole time
and they'll rarely snuggle with their mom. So the moment they get those qualities,
they're going to be all over you and they're hungry for it. And they've already told me that,
especially my older ones. So be prepared. You're going to get tackled. You're not going to let
you go. They're not going to. And also you have to be okay with dad paying attention to his
daughters. Once again, not jealous, not insecure. You have to be okay with dad touching his daughters,
loving on his daughters. I know women who don't think that after a certain age,
a father should be, you know, touching his daughters. That's, that's dumb. Okay. And so
if you are feeling that way, this would not be the right match for you. All right. You're also
going to be someone who is focused on health and wellness. For those of you that came in late,
Matthew has a gym at home. He is really committed to keeping himself. And I've seen pictures of him.
You guys haven't seen full body pictures of him, by the way, he's almost six feet tall. He's six
feet. He's right at six feet tall. For those of you that already asked that, I saw that in the
chat. All right. Plus he's got cowboy boots on, which make him a little taller. Then he's got his
cowboy hat on. Then he's a little taller. Cause this is a six, six hats. No big deal. Farmer
needs a wife. Farmer needs a wife right now. Have you ever seen that show? It's all cowboys. Okay.
Yeah. Um, that's the dream. That's the dream though. Eventually if somebody wants like,
um, at least an acre or more eventually land chickens, animals, yeah, it's going to happen.
Oh, come on y'all. If you are sourdough bacon, homemaking, love, love girls, love children,
you know, maybe, maybe, you know, if you're
in your mid thirties and it's the beauty, it's an incredible connection. Matthew said he'd be open
to, you know, if you're just like, I gotta, I gotta have a baby or I'm going to die. Um, then
he will, you know, he'll, he'll consider that. Um, if you're, you know, I, I really feel like
if you have a gentle nurturing personality, if you're, you know, uh, like a teacher type of
personality or a nurse type of personality, I really feel like that would go a long way.
Ladies, please do not write into me. If you are not fit, if you don't prioritize fitness,
Matthew doesn't have to say it. Cause I'm going to say it. He's open to all, all, all races of
women, all hair color of women, but you gotta take care of yourself. Okay. Not later now. Okay. So
you, if you're not that, please don't. A lot of women are asking how old is too old for you?
Are you, or do you feel like you have an age cutoff?
I mean, honestly, I I'd prefer somebody that is younger than me. I mean, honestly,
just, just for the, I feel bad saying that, but if it was somebody that was right around my age,
it'd have to be like an unbelievably good connection. Like it would have to be an
amazing connection. Um, but yeah, just, but that's why I understand the prospect of somebody younger.
There's, there's possibility of a kid. I get it. So, well, and remember you guys,
he's raising three small daughters and he obviously looks really young for his age.
He stays healthy. He takes care of himself and he has a young heart. He's got a young spirit.
So you have to have those things as well. Now I get, I get it because you know, I just turned,
I turned 51 in January and I'm very young and I look young and I act young and all the things.
So once again, if you're around Matthew's age, which he turns 48 next Tuesday, right around there,
if you're like 45, six, seven, eight, somewhere in there. Um, but you're, you're amazing. You're
incredible. Then send us an application. You guys, when you send us an application,
we, and Cheryl just put up a synopsis of all the things that we have so far found out about Matthew
and who's going to be a good match for him. He's not even saying this. I'm telling you as a
matchmaker who I know is going to be a good match for Matthew. You're going to have these attributes.
You're also going to be fun. You're going to have a good sense of humor. You're going to be fun.
These are three young daughters. They need to see a woman who is fun, a woman who is lighthearted,
a woman who takes her responsibilities seriously, but knows how to play.
Don't be afraid to be slightly immature sometimes because they love it when their dad acts like that
because it's, it's getting real stupid and goofy sometimes. And they love it because I don't,
I don't want them to feel that it's, it's just, you're putting your nose up. It's like
they want to know because I think they're, they were withheld sometimes from being goofy
elsewhere. But when they're in my house, I'm like, go nuts. So I definitely want that. Cause
I want it to be a marriage and a family of fun. I don't want it to be somebody where you think,
Oh, we're in our forties now. We need to calm down. I was like, why? My dad still says dumb
dad jokes and has fart jokes and he's 76 years old. So I just want it to be a house that loves
the Lord, but also can be one that's fun. And it doesn't have to be, you know, legalistic.
It's not a legalistic household. It's one of love. So. Absolutely. So love grace, not religious,
not rigid, not frigid, you know, not afraid of being touched, not afraid of, you know, it's just
warm. So Calandra, Calandra asks how cowboy like actually, or just wears a hat. So I was raised in,
in Virginia. So it was some, it's not Texas cattle country. It was cattle country. So
I've worked farms before in the past. I know hard work. I've been blue collar my entire life.
But as far as like, you know, Yellowstone cowboy, nah, I'm not a roughneck cowboy.
I can do all that work, but no, I'm, I just like it too. If I ever leave the house,
I don't have my cowboy hat on my girls. Make me go back in. They'll point their finger and like,
go get your hat that matches your hat. You look good in a hat, which is helpful too.
Elizabeth, everyone needs to come through the spotlight email. If it doesn't matter if you're
going to be in town visiting or not, we need to, we're going to vet you guys out. We're going to
give the best matches to Matthew to look through. Don't bother trying to find him on social media.
He does not have social media, none at all. So don't, don't try to be a junior detective.
We're playing the match. Eight years ago, eight to 10 years ago. Yeah. So I'm 11. Somebody said
how young would be okay. What does that mean? Like is there 40? Well, you're going to be 48.
You guys, I think, I think that, you know, matches within 12, 13 years is kind of the cutoff for me
because then you start not having anything in common. Okay. So in my opinion, you know,
that would be 28 older than 25, 35, 35, 13 years. If it was somebody in their very early thirties,
it would have to be extremely, extremely mature. Like it would have to be very mature.
Yeah.
You would have
to, yeah, you would have to, which I'm open to that and I know that with that age would come
like, Hey, then we can start talking about, like, I would, I would be more apt to want to have a
child with somebody that young, but it would have to be a perfect match and somebody who's
really mature and willing to take on those responsibilities of having a, a mom, uh, you
know, you know, um, three girls right away. Um, recommended age range. Okay. Once again,
if you're, if you're the same age as Matthew, but you're incredible, you know, shoot your shot.
You have to have all these other things. Okay. Be young at heart, look young, take care of yourself,
all the other things. If you are going to, uh, defy our age limit and send us a spotlight,
but I'll be happy to look through it on my team. I'll be happy to look through it,
but it doesn't mean that we're going to show it to him. If it's not a match, you guys remember,
he's not the last man left on earth. This is not COVID and he's not a roll of toilet paper.
Okay. I just want to let you guys know that single spotlights are back on and we're going
to be having them continuously. And so you don't have to all be scrambling to try to make it a
match. That's what's so beautiful about spotlights. It's a match or it's not a match. That's why we're
not, we're not trying to put our best foot forward. We're not saying things that are not true.
We're we're managing expectations by being very truthful and very honest. And I want to thank
you, Matthew, for doing that tonight, as far as, you know, just not holding back,
not saying, and I believe in being patient too. Like you do have to be patient. Even if
this spotlight doesn't yield anything, I'd want to do another one. Cause I believe
that, like you said, before the beginning of the call, God lays out certain things for a reason.
I'm not desperate to get married. I loved being married. I want to be married to a healthy
marriage. Um, but I'm not going to just be desperate to jump in because I'm not doing,
going through this again. I want this to be till death do us part. And I want my daughters to see
a woman that will love on their father and understand with me loving on that woman,
what they should expect when they get to be that age and they're married.
So that's, I'm not in a rush, but I want to find like, and Jackie knows me really well.
Last two years, she knows my type. She'll send, she goes, yeah, yeah. I knocked off like these
five that here's the three that I think are best. And I'm like, you're exactly right. So it's like,
she knows what I'm looking for. Um, but it just, I believe in patience. And even if I'm not the
person for you, that guy's going to come along. You just have to be willing to wait on the Lord
to bring that guy to you. Cause if you rush it, if you rush it, you're going to fail. Yeah,
absolutely. And ladies that are in my program last year, single, I want to let you know that
your applications will be given preferential treatment. So we have our phase two students
here. We have our phase three students here. Um, we will look at your applications first.
And if you are a really great match for Matthew, you will get in first. As far as those,
those applications will be given to him. Those profiles will be given to him. And then,
and only then if we don't have any good matches within our program last year, single, we will move
on to the people that are here from the public. Okay. People that are here from my Instagram,
people that are here from my email list. So we know who's in last year, single and who's not.
Okay. And we will, um, be showing those profiles first and foremost. So just so you guys know that
any final questions for Matthew, you guys, there are good men left on the earth. For those of you
that weren't believing that that's true. It is true. And I will tell you, I have a lot more
where he came from. I have so many men lined up. So many men that I'm working with so many men
that check in with me constantly. Hey, do you have any matches for me? And so that's why I decided I
have to start doing the single spotlights again. Um, Matthew, do you like to travel?
Yes, I do. Three small daughters. I've got four guys for you. I got four guys from you,
including my youngest brother who is 40. Yeah. Yeah. You think I look young for my age? I guess
that guy's amazing. I love my brother. So yeah, he's a really good guy. Never, never been married,
never been married to. So come on. How old is he? Yeah. Uh, 44. Okay. Awesome. Yep. Let's get him.
Okay. Do you like to travel? You do like to travel? I do. Um, it just depends, uh, on,
on where, I mean, I liked, I'd like to go anywhere. My goal and objective is like,
I used to sell boutique French wine back in college for a little two-year stint. Um, I'm
big on like the old world. So I love that stuff. So I know a little bit about wine. Um, but, uh,
that, and then I I'm a beach guy too. I love the Caribbean. I love some people hate cruises. Some
don't, I don't care. I'd rather go to destination. I love Costa Rica. I've been there before too, but
yeah, it just depends. I mean, I want, I want my girls to be traveled. They're not old enough yet
to really appreciate it. My youngest one is, but yes, I'd be open to travel too. I think it'd be
fun for a family. I love that. If you're coming in late, if you have interest in Matthew and you
believe that you are a match for him, you're not Delulu. You think that you're a match for him,
then write to spotlight at Jane media.org. It's right here on the screen, in the chat,
in the subject line, put Matt and then include a.
I owe and pictures.
If you do not include pictures,
we will throw your application right into the trash.
You guys know I love you, right?
I do love you, but you can't waste my team's time, okay?
So we're gonna throw it right into the trash
if it doesn't have any pictures with it, okay?
And then do not contact us.
We will contact you.
If you are a match for Matthew
and we show your profile to him,
we will let you know, hey,
we picked your profile to show to Matt.
We will keep you posted on whether or not
he wants to take it to the next level.
Ladies, he would love to find someone
who's in proximity, in driving distance,
and he's here in the Austin area.
So Houston, San Antonio, Dallas,
I think parts of Louisiana are also in driving distance.
But if you're long distance
and you realize that he cannot move, he cannot relocate,
and you are willing to relocate,
and you're willing to do what needs to be done
to date a single dad,
which means he can't be running off to go see you,
you'd have to come here a lot of the time to see him.
If you're willing to put that kind of effort into things,
then you can send us your spotlight, okay?
But make sure that you have everything else on this list.
You guys, this is an amazing list.
This is a man whose non-negotiables are amazing, okay?
Because a lot of times men give me
a whole bunch of preferences
masquerading as non-negotiables,
but this guy, he is serious.
He is a man who wants to be married
and he wants to find an amazing partner
to build a life with, all right?
Yes, solid guy.
I know a lot of you are invested
in hearing about what happens with Matthew,
and I definitely will update you.
Remember, last year,
single students and members get preferential treatment.
We will look at your applications first.
All right, Matthew, anything that you want to say
before we let you go?
No, other than the fact that if I'm not the right match
and you're moving forward,
just I encourage you all,
because I've been able to do this for the men in my life too
and I'll probably have some buddies of mine
that I'm going to send your way to, Jackie,
but I believe the men that I know in my group,
like all those men, literally think the way I do.
Some are a little more nerdy in the Bible than I am,
but I'm telling you,
if I have eight of us that meet on Mondays
and we're all within 15 minutes of each other,
I know that every woman in here
that's desiring that relationship is going to find it.
You just have to be patient
and just don't be desperate for that man.
Be desperate for the Lord.
And when you're desperate for the Lord,
that's what's going to open,
the Lord is going to open your heart
to be able to get the right guy.
But if you're desperate for that guy,
you're just stifling the Lord's ability
to work on your own heart
on the stuff you need to work for.
Because the last thing you want to do
is go into a relationship like mine and sabotage it
so those little girls are brokenhearted.
Because you're not just going to break my heart,
you're going to break their heart.
And that's what I always encourage.
That's where I had to come around.
It's like, hey, now my heart's ready to move forward.
My girl's hearts are ready for their dad to move forward.
It's a perfect situation.
It's the perfect timing.
It's it.
This is everyone's hearts in the right place.
And friends, that's why last year's single members
will be given preferential treatment
because heart work is phase one.
And what he's saying is what we do.
We make sure that you are putting everything
in the right priority in your life
and you are dealing with your unhealed stuff.
Because I will tell you, as a blended mom,
the thing that will bring out the stuff
that is not healed the fastest is relationship.
And relationship with a single dad
that has baby mama drama
and has all these different things going on.
If you are not healed, if you are not whole,
if you're not healthy, then you will not make it, okay?
And so we definitely do not want these little girls
to get attached to you and fall in love with you
just for you to bail out and crash out, all right?
So ladies, you've done your heart work last year,
single, send a spot.
You guys, listen, I better not get any applications
that are not the things that we laid down tonight.
And I'm going to give some,
this will be available in replay
only in the last year single community,
not on my Instagram channel.
That's another perk of being the last year
single community for all the ladies
that couldn't come tonight
that might want to send in their application.
All right, you guys never know.
His eight friends, I might do an Austin version
of farmer needs a wife and get them all on a panel
and talk to all of them at the same time.
It might be amazing.
All right, let's find Matt's wife.
If you're not his wife and you know his wife
based on what we just said,
if someone's coming to your mind,
if they're coming to your heart and spirit,
then send in an application for them
with their permission, of course,
because I really believe that we have his wife.
I know that we do.
And you're invited to the wedding if that happens,
if you're the referee, you're definitely coming.
Oh, me?
No, whoever refers somebody.
Oh, yeah, yes, listen, if you refer,
you refer, you even get to come
and eat cake at Matthew's wedding.
All right, all right, ladies, love you so much.
Matthew, thank you so much.
I'll be in touch.
You're very welcome, ladies.
Y'all have a good night.
Bye.
See you.
Thank you.