Hi everyone. Welcome. Hello. I almost said happy Monday because I'm so used to coaching on Monday night to all.
All right, just making sure we're recording. Everything's good. Welcome. I know more people will be joining in tonight as we move forward, but I do want to go ahead and start right on time because I have a lot of stuff.
I've been, I've been really excited about this session all day long. You all, as soon as I put the content together, I'm like, this is going to be good. So hope and pray that you receive it the same way that it came into my heart and spirit.
And we're going to go ahead and pray and dive right in. Father, thank you so much for God, your amazing grace. God, that is just a safe place for us. God, I thank you for revealings, for healing that are going to happen tonight.
God, I thank you that just what's been burning in my heart and spirit for the last few days. And even today, God, I pray that you would help me to convey it clearly that it would bring breakthrough, that it would bring revelation, that it would bring insight to all those that hear it.
God, that you would connect more dots for people, just even myself. So many times there's things that we can't see. We don't know what's causing us to be stuck, but God, we know that you do.
So we're asking you to bring things out of darkness into the light so that there can be healing, so that there can be restoration, so that yes, Lord, that there can be new perspectives that are received tonight.
God, that there's shifts in the supernatural realm, even if we can't feel it, God, that things are shifting and they're moving, God, and it's happening in us.
And so we thank you for this moment in time. We thank you, God, for how you've ordained this day in our lives to hear what your spirit is saying to us.
We thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here. We thank you for the power of your presence, that the same power that rose Jesus Christ from the dead can give us revelation and courage and grace tonight to help us to move forward in Jesus' name. Amen.
So tonight I titled this session as Reconnecting to Identity and Receiving Fresh Grace, because I just started thinking about as I was coaching the HeartWork group just yesterday, as I was working on the content for that, I cycle back through, you guys kind of probably know that by now, we kind of go back to the beginning and we start over with the new people.
And as I was working on the identity message and the inner vows section, it just clicked that this was the right time to come back and bring this back to the VIP group, help us revisit some things, help us go deeper in some things.
So I'm not actually going to go as far into the inner vows tonight as I thought I was going to. So I may do that session next month, because I do think there's a lot of us that we still are like, I don't even know if I have inner vows. I don't know. And so I just feel like that needs its own session.
Because as I was putting some of the content together, today is 5-5-26, if you didn't know. And it kind of came to my spirit as I was working on the content because of how important grace is in our healing process.
So when you're not having things of grace, and there's a lot of hard work in you and get set free, and you still struggle, there's this inner shame dialogue that you probably battle with.
Like, why am I not past this by now? Something is wrong with me. And that kind of stuff starts to kind of reverberate in our souls and our spirits.
And you all at the core, that is us not having grace towards ourselves.
Knowing our identity in Christ. Knowing that, you know, He's always at work in us. We're His sons and His daughters. He loves us.
Y'all, as much as we want to be free, I really want you to get this tonight. I feel this in the Spirit, so this is why I'm going to linger here for a minute.
The Father wants you free more than you even want to be free.
I know that might be hard to comprehend because we want, I know how I feel when I don't feel free in an area, and I know how badly I want to be free.
And I know in times in my life in the past when I didn't feel free or I felt like I was trying as hard as I knew how to do, and it just felt like I was still stuck in an area.
Man, that can be frustrating, right? But God wants us to be free more than we even want to.
And so if that's not what you believe about the heart of the Father, I really want to encourage you to spend some time talking to Him about it.
Guess what? He's a big God. He can handle the areas that you're mad at Him, the areas that you don't even still trust Him, the areas that you're just not sure if He is.
who he says he is. Like he is big enough for all of that. He's big enough for us
to come to him and give him all of those things. And so
today on 5 5 26,
I want to open with the scripture from Song of Songs. It's chapter 2 verse 10.
This is in the Passion Translation and this is what it says.
And gentlemen, when I read this scripture it applies to
you as well. It has a very feminine language so I just don't want the guys
to check out on this. But this is what it says.
Arise my dearest, hurry my darling, come away with me. I have come as you
have asked, to draw you to my heart and lead you
out. For now is the time, my beautiful one. And I just thought that
was such a timely opening scripture for tonight.
I felt the Lord on it as I read it today. Like he's
come as we've asked him to do. So no matter what we feel, remember we
can't let our feelings be in the driver's seat. Some of this is we have to
start partnering with the faith to believe what the word says.
God is answering some of you even right now. He's saying you've been asking me.
It has felt like I haven't come to you but I am coming.
Because now is the time. You know we get stuck in
in the like what isn't working, what isn't working, what isn't working.
And the enemy wants us to stay there instead of what
is going well.
So 5-5, May 5th. Five represents grace in the Bible. So
tonight as we're sitting in this moment, literally tonight is not only grace
in and of itself but it's grace upon grace.
And that's kind of like my underlying title underneath of that reconnecting to
identity and receiving fresh grace. I want you all to understand there's
going to be this extra layer of grace, an extra measure of grace, however you
want to look at it. But I believe it's available to us tonight.
I just don't think that it's a coincidence because when I originally
built the calendar with Jackie for this month, I was supposed to
do next Tuesday night. But some schedules changed
and so I'm teaching tonight. And I just felt that you know sometimes
you just hear this nudge from the Lord like this is meant to be.
For this group of individuals that are here tonight, those that are going to
watch the replay, you've been doing the heart work. God
sees you. You've learned the heart work tools. You've been trying your best to
apply them and live into them. Many of you experienced breakthroughs
already. But some of you, you know as I put in
the post for today, some of you if you're really honest with yourselves,
you've felt yourself drifting back toward old familiar habits,
old patterns of thinking, old patterns of behavior.
And you're kind of like wondering how did I get back
here. There's some of you that you're doing great.
You're getting breakthrough. You're feeling that extra wind in your sails.
And I want you to know that tonight's session is for
both of those groups of people. And if you don't find yourself in either one of
those groups, you're somewhere in between, it's for you
too. So tonight isn't so much that I want to focus
on, you know, because as soon as I say like some of y'all might maybe feel like
you've been slipping back. Tonight isn't so much about like, hey
what didn't you do that caused you to slip into that?
Tonight is about you receiving the fresh grace that's available to you for your
journey. And that your main job tonight is to
receive. That's your main job tonight. And in the
days ahead to practice receiving God's grace that empowers us. Do you know we
can't do anything without his grace? Like we can't do
anything apart from him. And so often we we enter, you know, even
myself back in the day, I would try to date without even asking
him for help. And even though we're in this community
where we talk about asking God for help all the time,
some of you all are even getting on the apps and you're not even praying before
you get on. And I'm not saying that to shame you, but I want you all to start
really incorporating God into every moment.
He wants to help you, but he's never going to force his way in.
Remember he stands at the door of our hearts and he knocks.
John 1 16 says, from his fullness we all have we have all received grace
upon grace. So I want you to get that too, from his
fullness, not from his lack. He's not going to be like shorthanded in
the amount of grace. He's like, oh you only, Amy, you just get a drip
today and that's all I have available for you.
No, he's like, from my fullness, like if it was God talking to us, he's
like, I have all of this abundance, I have all of this plenty,
and I want to give it to you.
But we believe that there's only these little drips of stuff coming out.
And I'm talking about grace, but the reality is, is this is true about the things that we have need of as well.
And y'all, spirit mates fall into that.
God created us for relationship, for partnership.
You're here because you believe He's called you to have a spirit mate.
And He wants you to know that He cares about that as well.
So again, not grace once, but grace double, a double portion.
And this is the reality. It's not grace if you performed well enough.
It's not grace like if you had a perfect interaction on the dating app or you walked into the perfect job.
Or, you know, like we were talking this morning as a staff for our church,
and we were talking about the conversation of the reality of God accepts us at our worst.
Like He loves us the same at our worst that He does when we're doing great.
And here's the reality. When we find someone that is a great spirit mate for us, they do too.
And that's what God has for all of you.
So the drift that some of us have been feeling is real.
And God's grace is available to cover the drift that you've been feeling.
And so I want to talk a little bit about tonight, understanding why we default back.
Because I think if some of y'all can understand why you have kind of a propensity, if you will,
it's not your fault, but like when things happen, the pressures applied,
it's like automatic right now where you drift back.
And so here's a couple important things. Some of y'all might know this already,
but I just feel like to kind of give some kind of reminders of why we do what we do.
So I want you to understand, you know, I try to talk to you guys when I do this session
a little bit about the brain, you know, every time I do it just to remind you
that your subconscious mind is incredibly loyal.
The tricky thing is, what is it loyal to?
Sometimes it's not, sometimes our subconscious mind and our subconscious in our bodies,
it's not loyal to our healing. It's loyal to our, you know, old things.
The things that we learned long ago.
The reality is, is our subconscious mind isn't even loyal to our declarations.
That's truth. It's a retraining of what's internal on the inside of us.
So over time, as we heal more and more and more, the internal dialogue,
our subconscious will start to shift in what we believe and what we feel in our bodies.
Not our feelings as far as emotion right now, but what your body is telling you.
Okay? So sometimes, you know, we talk about how when triggers happen,
we feel it in our bodies. That's what I'm talking about.
So your subconscious mind is loyal to what is familiar.
So I want you to think about growing up, what was familiar for you?
What were some of your go-to thoughts about yourself, about your family,
about other people that you dated, or, you know, even when you're younger.
When, you know, boys were gross and girls, you know, were the ones that the boys picked on
if they liked them, you know, back in those days.
What was familiar then?
Because those are the things that are still kind of dictating our stories for some of us today.
So when the dating journey starts to get hard in our current time today,
when we might get, you know, some of us would view it as passed over,
when something ends before it really ever begins,
when nothing seems to be moving, you're like,
I'm on the apps, nothing's happening, nothing's happening.
Y'all, I've been there, I understand.
And so I'm bringing these up because these are real things that y'all are experiencing.
But here's the reality.
When these things happen, our subconscious doesn't reach for our identity in Christ, does it?
Our subconscious reaches for what it knows.
The grooves that were formed from thinking the same thing over and over and over
for a large part of our lives.
So those are the old lies that we talk about that were formed
because of trauma and wounds that we went through.
The old agreements that we made about ourselves long before we ever attended a heart work session.
And this isn't, y'all, when I say this, this is not hopeless, okay?
I want to be very clear about this.
But I'm just trying to bring to the forefront the fact that
changing the grooves in our brain and our subconscious takes time.
It takes consistency. It takes intentionality.
For all of us.
from the top down. These are, even Jackie and I were talking about a lot of different
things today and, you know, we were kind of hitting on some of this stuff as well. These
are not character flaws in us. These are real neurological and spiritual battles happening
at the same time. It's both and. So some of what we're experiencing is a supernatural
spiritual battle. Because sometimes the enemy is just bombarding our minds and he's like
hammering us. Because he doesn't want you to move forward. Some of you, the enemy is
fighting you like crazy right now because you're making progress. You're moving forward
and then you're wanting to give up because you're getting hit by the enemy. No! Keep
going! Keep going! Some of you, it's like that, you know, back in the day that one picture
that would go around where the guy was digging for the gold or the diamonds, I can't remember
which one, and he's almost there and it shows him turning around and giving up. And it literally
like he was almost there. That's where some of you are right now. We're in a war over
our identity and a fight over our destiny. I believe God has destined every single one
of you to walk into a supernatural relationship with your spirit mate. But we have to war
for it. We have to fight for it. We have to be intentional about what are we thinking
about and where is it leading us. Every battle that is being waged against your destiny right
now, your future, this is more than just spirit mates. The spirit mate's the cherry on top,
remember? But some of you all have purpose inside of you that God is trying to bring
out to the forefront before you even meet your spirit mate. Can it come out after? Of
course! But I'm just saying for some of you, God wants to help you get that kind of in
place to better understand who you are and who he's called you to be and live into that.
And then guess what's going to happen? Some of you, when you start living into that, you're
going to look over and your spirit mate's going to be running. You're going to be like,
whoa, man, this feels, this feels natural. This feels like in sync. God's doing something
here versus feeling like it has to be forced or you have to work it like a job. Like some
of you have felt. The enemy doesn't need new material on any of us. Here's the reality.
All he needs to do is to get us to go back to old material. So here's the thing about
the grace tonight. This is why I want to pair this in. Grace is not just for the moment
that you first got free. Grace is for the returning. It's for every time the enemy tries
to convince us that we're not set free yet. That he tries to convince us that nothing
is changing, that nothing is working. So God wants us to pull on that grace tonight and
partner with it and receive it because heaven is open. I really believe that, that heaven
is open tonight, that God is pouring out grace upon our hearts. He's pouring out fresh hope.
And every time we come back, every time we recognize the drift has happened, but yet
we turn towards truth again, that's grace working in us. That's not failure, you all.
It's process. I can't tell you how many times I've talked with people that they're like,
I don't know if like, literally, I think I should just give up. I don't know if I'm ever
going to get married. I don't know if God really does have someone for me. And we just
keep encouraging them. And we see some of these people stepping into relationships,
some of them for the first time in a long time. Is it their spirit mate? I don't know.
But the reality is, is there further than they were before? Some of those people would
start to talk to people and then just constantly get triggered and not want to keep talking
to those people at all. Anybody. Y'all. So when we can see progress, man, can we celebrate
that some? Let's start celebrating our progress more. I think, and I'm not saying we don't
pay attention to what's going on that's hard, but I genuinely feel like if we would celebrate
our wins more, man, I think the enemy would be on the run. Right? Where praise is happening,
the enemy cannot stay. Here's an activation for you. I want to get you activated and connecting
with me in the chat and with each other. What is the thought or narrative that keeps coming
back to you no matter how many times you think you've dealt with it? So what's the thread
of thought or a phrase, something that you hear that happens when the hard times hit
that narrative that keeps coming back. Put those in the chat for me. I'm going to kind
of share those as those come in. Brandon's having a breakthrough week. That's awesome.
I don't fit anywhere. Okay. Kathleen said I don't fit anywhere. That's one.
she's hearing. My picker is broke. Here we go again. I'm not worthy. Unworthiness. I will never
be chosen. I'm just not enough. Relationships are hard. I'm not attractive enough to have a
relationship. You're going to be alone. There must be something wrong with me that I've been single
so long when my friends have gotten married. Nothing will ever change. I will be passed over.
That's been in there a couple times tonight. This is never going to happen for me.
I can't function as an adult with time or financial management. Nobody cares,
including God. I don't mean enough to people. Not good enough. I never grew. Nothing changed.
I am too much and have to lower my standards. It will never happen. I'm doing it wrong.
No one will like me. Why continue to try? I am not consistent. I am hot or cold. I am fickle.
Here we go. It works out for others, not for me. Things will never get better. I won't end up with
the right person. It's going to keep going. I hope you keep putting them in there. I hope
for those of you that added those in the chat, please make note of these things tonight for
yourself too. We need to lean into this this week with the Lord. I'm going to give you some tools
on what to do with it. We're not just bringing up the junk to leave it there. We're allowing
the Lord to bring this stuff up for healing, for freedom. Here's the reality. As you guys know,
we talk all the time for the Revealing for Healing cycle. We start to uncover not just
the lies that we're hearing and that we believe, but what is the stuff that's all connected to
them. So what's actually underneath this discouraging stuff that we're hearing?
Remember, we want to get to the wound that's beneath the pattern.
So some of these thoughts for some of you are also connected to patterns of behavior as well.
I want you to kind of start thinking about that. You don't have to put it in the chat,
but when you think these thoughts and you start partnering with it,
do you have a negative behavior or habit that's attached to it? It can be different for everybody.
And if so, I want you to jot that down on your paper as well because God wants to set you free.
Remember, it's not about just behavior modification, okay? So it's not just like,
oh, I recognize this behavior. I need to just stop. I need to be a good girl or a good boy.
I need to just be better. Yeah, that's what we want, but what we want more than anything is
internal heart change that then creates a behavior change that we can sustain by the grace of God,
right? So discouragement in the dating journey, remember, it's rarely about the dating itself.
I know it seems like it's just about the dating. It's just about that interaction. It's just about
what that person said to you or did. But y'all, like even when I was in the relationship with my
spiritual daughter's dad and I found out he was cheating on me and that all started to unravel,
like, and it wasn't just one person. It was lots of ladies. And I just had this utter shame and
embarrassment that entered when all that started kind of Pandora's box just flooding out of me.
And I had what I would call probably a breakdown. I didn't know that's what was happening at that
time. I remember just like pounding my hand on the ground and just like, God, why did you let
this happen to me? And that felt real. And that's where I was at in that moment. But when I took
time to really ask the Lord about that, the depth of what I felt that night, it was about what
happened with him. But it went way back to my dad cheating on my mom and how deeply that hurt me.
And here I was in this relationship where this person was supposed to be loving me,
told me with his words he loved me, but like was doing all this horrible stuff that I didn't even
know about. So remember, you know, we can have these experiences, but what is it linking to
underneath the surface? When a man or woman says what, so like, if you say kind of is what I'm
getting to, if one of us says nothing ever works out for me, well, that's not really just about
that relationship. It's not really just about that job. When is the first time you agreed with that
statement? When is the first time you believed that lie that the enemy was feeding you
and said, yeah, man, nothing ever works out for me. And you started agreeing with it and living that
out. Maybe you're someone who says, I know you guys put a lot of stuff in the chat, so I think
a lot of people did say this. I'm always overlooked. They pick somebody else. Here we go again.
You know, everybody else gets a husband, but me, you know, those all kind of hang out together.
Remember that's not about their dating profile or you guys didn't just match, this is a bigger story that's unfolding within you.
You just haven't, like sometimes, I don't know if you guys are like me, I was just talking to Jackie.
You know, sometimes we get bad news, y'all. Sometimes things don't go the way we want them to.
And sometimes in the moment, life is happening so fast, it's really hard to deal with it in the moment.
And sometimes we have to step away from our current environment and get away from it
so that we can have time with God to unpack that thing and how we really feel about it.
So some of you, I really want to encourage you to get out of your current environment.
So maybe it's go on a weekend retreat where it's just like you go to a cabin and you just have time alone with God.
Because for some of you, those are the kind of things you need to do to continue to move towards getting unstuck
because you need to get away from the busyness of life and all of the distraction, all the things that are hindering you
from really centering in and hearing what God is speaking to you.
When we partner with, maybe I'm just meant to be alone.
Or, I've heard people say it, it's just easier to be single.
Y'all, we've had people get married in this community.
You know, they prayed and prayed and prayed, and then they have their spirit mate.
And then they say to us, maybe I should have just stayed single.
It was actually easier.
Well, praise the Lord, some of those people, we were able to coach them.
They're doing better now.
But even saying that, after you get into marriage, there's a bigger thing happening there.
Y'all, life is hard.
Relationships are going to be hard sometimes.
But there's going to be so much good, too.
If we have a propensity to focus on the negative, guess what?
When we're single, it's going to happen when you're married, too.
So let's deal with it now.
Let's get to the root of it now so that when you get married, you can enjoy that.
And when the tough days come, you guys can work through it together.
So, if we have these wounds that say, maybe I'm better off being alone.
Maybe it's easier being single.
Again, these are wounds talking.
These are lies with roots.
Remember, we want to track the root system going all the way back before any man or woman ever had a chance to disappoint you.
So tonight, here's your question.
I'm going to keep giving you guys little questions along the way.
I want to ask you to look underneath of the discouragement you've been feeling lately.
And I want you to ask yourself, what does this remind me of?
So, for example, I kind of gave you guys a big example from my own life when I went through that big disappointment.
It reminded me of my dad betraying my mom.
And that's a big example.
You can do this with little stuff, too.
Maybe you hear a certain dialogue regarding connecting.
I never make any friends.
I never have friends.
Why can't I make any friends?
You guys, we hear this all the time, too.
The enemy is trying to isolate people.
But you know what?
I'm realizing this more and more and more.
We can only be isolated if we choose to partner with isolation.
It's true.
And the enemy is trying to get people to stay in their homes more, be less connected to each other.
We don't go out.
And even when we do, you know, we walk into crowds of people.
And what happens typically?
A lot of people face insecurity, right?
Happens all the time.
So let's get to the root of all of these things.
Again, take them one at a time.
You don't have to face them all at once.
But what do these things remind you of?
When's the first time you walked into a room and you felt insecure?
Did something happen?
Did someone make fun of you?
Did your parent say something to you mean before you even left the house about your outfit?
You know, these are the things that really, like, we go into life and we're just carrying all this stuff with us still.
But in the current moment, we have these big, intense reactions to our current situation.
But again, that intense reaction is just saying, hey, there's a signal here.
There's something else that needs dealt with underneath the surface.
I have three more questions for you.
And these are kind of longer.
I'll put these up in the group so that you guys can grab them later.
So you can just listen to them for now.
And I'll try to do the post tonight before I go to bed so that you can have them quickly.
Sorry, I just saw a comment come up.
Question number one.
Who told you first that you weren't enough?
Or you weren't chosen?
Or you weren't worth staying for?
So who's the first person that ever communicated that to you, whether with their words or
their actions or behavior?
Who told you that you weren't enough, you weren't chosen, you weren't worth staying
for?
Number two.
What did you decide about yourself because of what happened to you?
Or what was never given to you?
Some of you, your trauma isn't what someone did to you, it's what they withheld from you.
My first marriage, my ex-husband withheld love from me on a regular basis.
Withheld intimacy.
It was very abusive.
So it was not affirming, tore down all the time.
And so some of you, you know, there's been situations like that, and you've done a lot
of healing, but if you struggle to believe that men are good, or that women are kind
or good, y'all, there's probably stuff still there from those old relationships that were
hurtful.
Number three.
Where is that decision still running in your life right now?
In how you show up, in how you pull back, maybe you self-sabotage, you get a little
close to people and you start talking to them, but then all of a sudden you have all the
reasons that surface of why you shouldn't move forward with that, and it's one person
after another after another, you all, that's self-sabotage.
Maybe some of you are settling, you're starting to get into situationships, and guys are dropping
little tiny breadcrumbs that they're really not wanting a relationship, but you just convince
yourself that they do, and you keep going.
We don't want to do that.
Same thing for the guys.
You don't want to be with a woman that isn't going to be kind to you and doesn't really
want a healthy relationship.
We don't have to settle.
God has good things for us, and he will help us walk into those things.
Genesis three connection.
I want to connect you guys back to the Adam and Eve story.
I talk about this a lot in my coaching.
You know, after Adam and Eve sinned, God didn't go into the garden and say, what did you do?
He didn't come in with shame.
What did he say to them?
He said, who told you that you were naked?
He was getting to their identity.
And that's how God talks to us as well.
So I want you to hear that tonight.
So this is still his question to us.
Who told you?
And are you still listening to those people?
Or are you listening to the heart of the father for you?
What he has to say about you and your future.
And again, here's where grace comes back in, because notice what God did after he asked
that question.
You guys might want to go and read Genesis three tonight or in the morning.
After he asked them, who told you you were naked?
He didn't leave them there in their shame.
You know what it says he did?
It says he covered them.
He made a way for them.
He extended grace to people who had just made the worst decision of their lives.
This is the God that we still serve today.
The wounds underneath of your discouragement are not too deep for God.
They're not too big for him.
They're not too far past his grace to reach.
He can go into every area of our heart and lives at any moment.
And he is a God who redeems our timeline.
So we want to reconnect to who God says we are as we kind of keep moving through the
content tonight.
I am going to open the heartwork seat here in a little bit.
So just want you all to be kind of preparing your hearts for that.
But God wants us to reconnect with who he says we are.
What is the identity that he speaks over us?
So this isn't just a declaration exercise tonight.
You guys do know I believe in, you know, taking the word of God and declaring it over
our lives.
But I'm not just a name it claim it person.
I really have grown a lot even in how I use declarations.
I want to experience it in my heart first.
Like I want that shift to start to get down in here deep.
And then I am empowered by the grace of God.
and the spirit, not only just to say a thing, but I believe it.
I have, there's that connection happening.
And so for some of you, but back in the day, when I didn't understand how to do
that, I started with what I, what I knew.
I declared it, even if I didn't feel it down here.
So it's all, it's all beneficial.
Okay.
Declaring the truth of God out loud over yourself is never going to hurt you.
You all, it's never going to hurt you.
But for some of you, you kind of, I've heard even people saying it on prayer
calls, I'm declaring this stuff.
I'm declaring it, but nothing's changing.
Well here, that's, that's part of the problem.
Do y'all see the contradiction there?
You're saying that you're saying the word of God out loud, but you're
partnering with that.
It's of no effect.
Think about that.
Every time we say I'm, I'm declaring the word of God and nothing is happening.
We're actually saying that we don't believe that God's word is true because
God says in his word that when the word of God goes out, guess what?
It accomplishes the thing that it was sent forth to do.
So whether we feel it or see it doesn't mean it's not working.
So let's really watch what we're saying regarding what we're declaring over our
lives regarding the word of God and its power.
And again, none of this is to be shameful.
I just want you guys, I want you to, I want myself, I'm speaking to myself some
too, because it's so easy sometimes to just be like, oh, this isn't working.
I'm praying for my kids and I'm praying for salvation or I'm praying for their
lives to turn around.
That's one of the things for me lately, the enemy has been trying to convince me
that my prayers are of no effect.
What?
Why would I even think for a second to agree with that?
But we do it about our spirit mates too.
We do it about, you know, our jobs or whatever it is we're, we have need of
that we're praying for.
And that's where, you know, the Bible says not to be double-minded, right?
All right.
So this isn't just a declaration exercise, but this is about a returning,
returning to our identity.
So don't let this become a performance.
I'm not asking you guys again, this isn't about being on good behavior, saying
something that sounds really good, but this is about you really meeting with God
tonight, regarding what's going on in your heart and kind of settling that a
little bit.
So what do you need tonight?
I want you to think about it.
What do you need from God tonight?
I would love for you to put that in the chat.
What's something you just, you really need him like, God, I need you to come
through in this area for me.
Where do you need breakthrough?
As those come to you, go ahead and put those in the chat.
And as you do that, I want you to understand that tonight is about you coming home to
yourself as well as about you reconnecting to God, but converging with your own self,
like who God originally created you to be.
And he created us to be free.
He created us to be connected to him and believe in who he says he is.
He created us ultimately for relationship.
And so it's a coming home to ourselves, connecting with him.
And there is a difference you all in knowing our identity in Christ in our heads.
It's kind of like what I was talking about just a few minutes ago and living from it.
You know, like really knowing my identity in Christ in my heart has changed
everything.
I told the ladies on heartwork last night.
I still will never forget the day that the shift came in my heart when I really finally
believed I was a bride and you know, I had been married before.
But after being divorced and walking through what I went through, I I wasn't really
sure. And I had to admit that to myself for some of you gentlemen, you need to really
ask yourself, do I really believe that I am called to be a groom, that I am a groom
and that I can walk into being a husband again?
Because some of the men, you don't believe it, you think you have to be perfect before
you can be in a relationship, and that just isn't true.
So we can know every truth on the page of the Bible and still wake up every morning
and make a decision out of our wounds.
We can declare I'm chosen and then spend the whole day collecting evidence.
that were not chosen. Isn't that crazy? We all do it though. I do it too in different ways.
So we're all in this together tonight. We're all taking a shift step forward. That's what
I'm saying to you. I'm doing this with you all tonight. So instead of us just declaring truth,
I want to invite you to receive the truth. There's a difference in the heart posture.
Do you believe that the son who died for you, Jesus Christ, to set you free?
I love Jesus. Do you believe that he really set you free?
Do you believe that he really died so that you could walk into abundance in every area of your
life? And that abundance comes out of the love relationship that you have with the father.
Do you believe that he really set you free?
Y'all, the abundance that I've experienced in my life the last few years,
100%, it is so much sweeter because of where I've been at in my relationship with the Lord.
Receiving God's grace, receiving God's blessings requires surrender first.
That's why I asked you to put it in the chat.
It's not surrendering that as in, I'm never going to get this,
but it's surrendering it in the posture of, God, I trust you,
that you love me, and you're not a man that you would lie, and you're going to come through for
me. So receiving is a grace posture. Remember, we can't earn grace. We can't perform our way
into grace. We just have to open our hands and take what is already being extended to us.
Remember John 1.16, grace upon grace. God isn't running out. God is not withholding from us.
He's not waiting for us to get it all together first. Y'all, I remember
some vivid things from my journey. I don't remember everything from my heart healing walk,
but I remember some very specific moments. I remember being in Lexington. I was in my bathroom
and just having this whole conversation with God about why I wasn't ready. Because then when I
started feeling like God gave me a dream, he told me my spirit mate was coming. Then y'all,
I started freaking out. Like, oh crap, I'm not really ready. God, I need to lose like 50 pounds.
I didn't even know that I really needed to lose that, but that's how I felt in that moment. Like,
wait a minute, I got to get some more stuff done. Then God just kind of started talking to me like,
yeah, that's great. Work out, get healthy, but like don't think you can't receive
the person I'm sending you if you're not perfect. If you're not, you know, got everything tied up in
a bow, everything perfect. Some of you, you know, ladies, guys are going to be working on their
finances. I'm not saying pick somebody that just is irresponsible. It's vice versa. Guys, same thing.
Sometimes people go through some really hard crap and it takes a really long time to get out of that
crap, but if they're being responsible with it and they're working with financial counselors
to work on that stuff, hey y'all, that's some good stuff. That shows some commitment.
I don't know why I said that. Maybe that's for somebody because that was not
anything about my hard work tonight, but those are real things I faced. I really felt like I had
to have like perfection, but see perfectionism is something that has always been a struggle for me.
So of course that would rear its head when I was in the dating process or beginning to date
and the enemy would try to use that to convince me that I wasn't ready enough.
The grace is already here and so tonight it's about whether or not you can receive it. And for
some of you, you're like, I'm trying to receive it. I'm trying, but see that's the striving talking.
So I want you to kind of like, we're going to do this together. If you're not comfortable,
you don't have to do it, but if you're comfortable enough to close your eyes,
I'm going to ask you another question and then we're going to sit in silence for 60 seconds.
Okay. Lord, what have I been believing about myself that isn't from you?
Okay, I want you all to write on your paper anything that you heard.
If you don't have paper with you, you can put it in the chat if you're comfortable enough
to put it in the chat.
What did you hear?
What surfaced for you to the question, Lord, what have I been believing about myself that
isn't from you?
This is where we get real with ourselves, right?
You know, some of us will only let people get, you know, this close, like, we won't
let them all the way in.
And that is because you're really afraid to risk your heart with love.
And so if you're someone that that's something you keep facing, like you, you let people
get a certain far in and then you're like, Oh, no, not for me.
And you kind of move on.
And you just keep doing that same pattern over and over.
Most likely you're afraid to love again.
You're afraid of the risk.
But God is a God who's able to walk with you through whatever it is you experience.
And what if, what if you let that person in, that's a healthy person, and it actually goes
great.
See that's the thing some again, we go back to like, sometimes we just focus on the negative
and the fear, right?
And the fear is what stops us but perfect love casts out fear because fear has to do
with torment.
I'm going to keep going.
The heartwork isn't starting over.
I want you guys to remember that.
What what Jackie and I always want for everybody in this community, even if people come and
then they their season changes and they move on, is that we will learn how to use these
tools for our whole lives.
Because it works, heartwork works.
When I'm having something hard going on, you all I go back to these things.
It's something that can help us be grounded and centered.
So before we move into the heartwork seat tonight, I just want to touch on a few more
things.
The fact that you're here that you showed up tonight that you're catching the replay
because I know some but some people are working tonight, or you had family things, no matter
what, no matter how you're hearing this, that you would remember, it's really amazing that
you're a part of this community that you're still here, you're still reaching forward,
you guys are still trying.
And that is not weakness.
Now some of you, I do want to say I feel like the Lord's wanting me to bring some balance
here.
Some of you are hiding still, okay?
And God is saying he wants you to come out of hiding.
He wants you to get back in the game.
And this isn't just with romantic relationships, some of you are even hiding from making friends.
Because it feels easier to stay inside, so to speak.
And God is calling you, he wants to bring some friends into your life, he wants to bring
joy, he wants to bring new adventures.
Some of you God is nudging you to travel, and you just keep coming up with all the reasons
that you can't do it.
So let's maybe start saying, okay, what's one step I can take towards taking that trip,
and then do that thing.
The enemy wants you to interpret the drift.
Interpret the drift we were talking about as proof that this just doesn't work.
The heart work that I've been doing, it just doesn't work.
I'm too broken, I'm too far gone, I'm too stuck, and these are all lies.
See that's the thing, that's even a lie that the enemy is getting some of you guys in a
loop.
He just has you looping around, that this just isn't working, I'm just too broken.
I just, you know, some of you are like, I'm not even attractive, what?
Where did that come from?
Again, these are these inner dialogues.
Somebody said that.
Somebody said something to those of you that believe that kind of stuff.
At some point, somebody made a comment about your looks, or you saw it somewhere, you compared
yourself to someone on a TV or in a magazine, and the enemy lied to you, and you believed
it, and you partnered with it.
It's not always what someone said, but a lot of the times it is.
So where did that come from?
You don't have to go back and redo everything, but remember it's kind of like a restarting.
You know, it doesn't mean that nothing we did before didn't work, it means that you're
just continuing to move forward.
You don't have to start over.
back at square one. You don't have to shame yourself for the season you've been in. If you've
been discouraged and you've been kind of hanging out there, you don't need to shame yourself about
that. Grace and God are not asking you to do that. God isn't even asking you to earn your way back.
He's just saying, hey, I'm here with you and I'm walking with you. Grace meets you exactly where
you are. You are enough. So let's just move forward from here. Limitations 322 through
23 reminds us that his mercies are new every morning. They're not recycled. They're not
rationed. So they're not like you only get a little bit. Remember I talked about that earlier.
It's new. That's grace upon grace in real time. So every single day he's extending fresh grace to us.
So if you had a bad day yesterday or today, y'all tomorrow's new, it's a new day.
And remember, I love, this is like one of my favorite things to talk about is we're not who
we used to be. Like I'm not even who I was yesterday. Y'all I've been practicing Spanish
for 124 days straight. I'm so excited about this. I can't wait to actually have full conversations
with people. I'm still a ways off from that, but I know this is such a small thing, but you know
what? I, I feel confidence coming in me because I'm learning this language of, I mean, I took it
in high school. I took it for multiple semesters in college. I always felt like God was asking me to
learn how to speak multiple languages. And then at one point I just quit.
And then I tried to pick it up a couple, you know, gosh, back when I was living in Lexington.
And then I forget what happened and I quit again, but this time y'all I'm sticking with it.
We live in Fort Myers. There are tons of people that speak, you know, Spanish here and a lot of
ethnic and y'all after I get this one down, I think, I think I'm going to start to learn, uh,
try to learn Vietnamese because there's a lot of people here that speak those languages as well.
Why am I saying that to you? Well, because you know what? 124 days ago, I was really rusty.
I couldn't remember hardly anything in Spanish and now I've grown and I'm starting to understand
a little bit. Sometimes they talk so fast. I'm like, whoa, slow down. But you know, here's the
thing. There's other things I'm, I'm doing too. I started some new things like reading about like
trauma informed stuff. I'm just trying to build on the skills that I've been gaining already.
And when I do that, guess what? I can bring new information to us, right? So if I can do stuff
to grow, you guys can do stuff too, but it's whether or not we choose to do it. And again,
there's no shame if you choose not to, but I just want us to shift out of blaming God for everything.
Let's enjoy our lives. Let's develop a new skill. What if I'm just saying, I'm just putting this out
there. What if you meet someone because of the new skill you're developing who knows your spirit
mate? This is the thing. If God is nudging you to do something, let's not ignore that thing. Yeah.
Fishing. If you love fishing or you want to try fishing, I would absolutely go do that thing.
I love fishing by the way. Haven't done in a long time, but yeah, like these are awesome things.
I hope this is stirring things up in you all that you want to go do. And why are we waiting?
Let's take action. And that wasn't in my notes either, but that felt really good.
All right. So we are not who we used to be. We're not even who we were yesterday. That's
where I was at. So returning is not failing. Returning remember is actually heartwork.
We're returning. We're kind of recentering tonight. Like God, who do you say that I am?
God, what do you have for me?
God, I believe you have a spirit mate. Help me to stop saying negative things about the process I'm
in and partner with your truth instead. A lifestyle of forgiveness, surrender and repentance means we
will, we will need to come back. You all over and over and over again. It's not a, it's not this
like, you know, this obstacle in our course all the time. It's, this is just a part of the process.
So if a guy or a lady is mean to you all on the apps, I'm really sorry about that, but let's not
get all bent out of shape about it. Y'all, I had a guy ask me if I wanted to see his wiener.
Legit. I'm the one that Jackie talks about when she tells that story.
And when I got mad, he tried to act like he didn't mean what he said and sent me a picture of a wiener.
dog and try to like make me feel dumb. Nope. Yes, I was really mad. I told Jackie about it. I had to
call her. She helped me and she's just like, Bethany, we'll just lock him and move forward.
I was like, oh, you're right. I don't know that guy anything. That guy blew up my phone all night
when I was on an event because I just quit talking to him because I was just like, whatever, dude.
And I got on an event for our community. Two hours later, got off and my phone just,
I mean, I literally, it was nutso, you all. So I did. I blocked and just moved on. And there
were some other things. That guy actually went to my church. You know, I went to a really big church
and he sought me out there. It was really creepy. But y'all, you know what I did? I stood up for
myself. And you know what? The enemy couldn't keep bothering me with that person anymore.
And I was kind the whole time, even when he wasn't being kind. And that's what I want y'all.
It doesn't mean we let people walk all over us, but I just, again, I guess I'm saying this because
I feel like some of us get really stuck in, man, this person was really crappy.
Well, we face that all over the place. There's a lot of broken people, but we can be a healthy
person, can't we? And we can know that, Hey, you know what? That guy was just a stepping stone.
And, you know, it's this funny story I can tell all the time now, but you know what? I encountered
a lot of really great guys. I really did. Even guys that didn't know Jesus yet. There were some
really nice guys. And that's what I chose to focus on more. So what is your mind? Where is
it leading you? You know, is it leading you down the road of negativity all the time?
Or are you partnering with positive things and life-giving things?
So what is one thing? Some of you guys already started putting things in the chat. So it
happened organically, which is awesome. But if you didn't yet, what is one thing you're choosing
to receive fresh grace for tonight? So maybe it's romantic relationship. Maybe it's dating
on the apps. Maybe it's, you know, a new skill that you want to learn. So if you haven't put it
in the chat, go ahead and do that for me. And we're going to open up for the heartwork seat
here. So if you want to get in the heartwork seat tonight, you can go ahead and raise your hand.
I'll get through as many people as I can, uh, tonight, but we will do a hard stop at like 939
40 at the latest. Um, cause I got to reserve some strength cause I'm coaching Simbas tomorrow
night and I coached last night, tonight and tomorrow. So I'm trying to pace myself really
well here. All right. So I'm seeing some things, positive attitude, fresh grace to move for,
fourth in May. Yes. May the fourth be with you, Sarah. My husband will love that that was in here.
He's a big, um, star Wars fan, fresh grace for dating on the apps. I have had no success. Okay.
So Alison in Jesus name, before you get on, start declaring God, thank you so much that
you're going to draw really healthy men to me and that you're going to help me know the right apps
to be on the right connections to make just continue. And I know it might not always feel
like it's working, but remember what I said, if we're declaring positive things, then we know
that's at work and God will lead us to, you know, I'm already with my spirit mate, but that was what
I prayed all the time. God, thank you for leading me to my spirit mate and leading my spirit mate
to me. And I would just pray that before I would even get on the apps and lo and behold, I met
Brian on an app. You guys, I said, I was never going to get back on apps and God brought me
Brian through an app. It works. Romantic relationships. I've grace upon grace, dating on
the apps, meeting men in real life. Yeah. If you need to practice, awesome. Asking God for that.
All right. A lot of really great things in here. Keep putting those up. I would like to earn an
extra income doing something I love praying before. Okay. So she's saying that. Yep. Fresh
grace for my job and believing for my daughter's healing. All right. Awesome. These are so good.
You all, I hope you're taking notes for yourself to put these into your journals so that you don't
forget this night because there's going to come a day where the enemy could even be tomorrow.
You know, he comes quick. He tries to steal the seeds really fast
because if it's not healthy soil for that seed to take root to grow, well, then it's easier for him
to snatch those up. So you guys make sure you jot this stuff down so you don't lose the breakthrough
that you're hopefully feeling. I think some of you are because I see you guys in the chat.
Allison, praise the Lord. God's changing your mind about some things. She said, I almost quit
the program until tonight. Ooh, see God has our number. You know, he wants us to feel his presence
and I'm so glad that you came tonight. Y'all we're cheering you on all the time. Even when I'm not
lives. I'm praying for you all. I'm praying for people in this community that I don't even know.
There's people on the men's side that I've never met, but God's doing some great stuff,
and he's not finished yet. What he did for me, he'll do for you. All right, Abby,
I would love to hear what you have to say.
Thanks for the information. I feel encouraged. I think I'm struggling with two things today. One is
my job situation. Because I was doing one job, I feel like God is leading me to
grow in another area in my life now, like another career area. But when the first job people,
they gather together, I'm not included. I still feel like, am I doing the wrong thing now? Am I
going the right direction? And a similar, like, there was like, someone want to introduce me a
guy. I talked, even from the first time, you know, I look at his picture, I kind of already know this
is not the right voice. But then I still, you know, talk to him. We text a little bit, and we
talked on phone. And today, I just had a video call, kind of confirmed, you know, I can even
list the bullet points, like, spiritually, I don't think we align. He doesn't even read the
Bible himself. He's like, I don't, I don't understand Bible. When I read it, I have to
have someone with me. And I want to ask, like, do you feel God is leading you to make big life
decisions? He's like, Oh, I don't know how to answer this kind of question. I make decision
when I have peace. So and also, the topics he talks about, I'm not interested. He's kind of
nerdy, he keeps talking about his stuff. And then I kind of like lost, like, I don't know what he's
talking about. And he's not curious about me, he keeps talking about himself. So I don't think
anything matched. But I just told him, I don't think we would be a good match. Again, you know,
the similar stuff. Yeah. So let me ask you a question. You started with people gathered
together. And sometimes you don't feel included. I think you were saying that's at work. And then
you started talking about this guy. So what is your question regarding heartwork tonight?
Oh, my question, it will be like, it seems sometimes I'm very clear about my choice.
But when I don't see a good one, like a guy, I will question my choice I already made,
or when I'm triggered, like, I do have the problem, not feeling being included. And then I
would just go back to that kind of like, Oh, am I making the wrong choice? Like, even for the first
job, I'm not excited about the direction they're going or they're doing now. You know, I'm more
excited about the second job what I'm doing now. And I think God is showing me clearly,
he's adding and blessing what I'm doing for the second job. But I still can go back and forth
like the guy, I think the similar situation, you know, at that moment, I'm like, No, I don't think
you're the right person. But then when I think it's a fear of lacking, make me like, Oh, maybe I
should tell him more how to communicate with me better. Or maybe he can grow spiritually, maybe
he will change, you know, so Abby, um, let's hone in on something here. So you're saying something
similar in both of these situations. You're saying that you doubt your own decisions. And yes, one of
the things I would really recommend doing is starting to write out on paper and pros and cons
for job for men, but including God in that process, you know, where you start to really see your own
thoughts and writing out why you feel the way you feel. The reality is this, everyone, I'm going to
say this to everyone, is that we can all second guess every single decision we make all the time
every day. But if we do that, then we're really never ever going to be content anywhere, are we?
But we have to get to the root of why do we second guess ourselves all the time? Well, a lot of people
that do that. They had like, even my spiritual daughters, I'm the oldest of the two, really
struggles with this even more than Olivia. And part of that is because every decision she tried
to make, I'm not kidding, y'all, literally multiple decisions she tried to make, her dad would always
shoot that stuff down regarding what she wanted to go to school and do, the kind of jobs she wanted
to have. And so it's...
it caused her to question her own decisions.
And now as a young adult lady,
she struggles to make decisions on her own.
And so Abby, I would really recommend kind of looking at
kind of as I was talking about tonight, the root system.
So where are we still struggling back in the core
of who you are regarding like decisions back in the day
because the decisions now, yes, that is what's happening.
But I think that's just a symptom of what needs healing
still underneath the surface.
Like where you initially have all these wavering,
questioning, people causing you to doubt.
But then also here's the thing.
We also need to get to this place of not being so afraid
to just make a decision and walk in it for a little while.
Because the reality is if it's not the right job for you,
Abby, where you're at now,
then God will redirect you at some point,
but maybe just giving yourself permission
to just enjoy where you are
instead of just like constantly like,
maybe I should just be back over there.
Because the same thing, this is like,
we sometimes get in relationships
and then we think the grass is greener on the other side.
Right?
Okay.
So like you have to,
it's really gonna be important for you
to get to the root of this with the Lord.
It doesn't mean you have to have everything figured out.
I'm not saying that,
but I think you're gonna wanna get to the root of this
a little more so that you can be happier
in some of these kinds of relationships and things.
And so, yeah, start by making the list.
I think that's gonna be really important for you.
And the reason I say that for anybody else that's wondering,
why is she like, make lists?
Because for me, I questioned my decisions a lot
back when I was dating too.
And so what God led me to do was make a poster board.
I've talked about this on sessions before.
And I literally like wrote out
the different guys I was talking to
and good things about them,
things that I was not sure about,
you know, different hobbies they had.
And I just like looked at it on paper.
And as I did that, I was like, oh, this is,
and I wrote down like how I felt
when I went on a date with them
or when I interacted with them on the app.
And I just started paying attention to myself.
And what I was thinking and feeling
when I was having those interactions with them.
And because I took the time to do that,
what I did is I centered in my own feelings and thoughts
and allowed myself to discern
was what I was interpreting correct
about that person, about the situation.
And so it's just gonna take time,
but that's where I would encourage you to start, Abby, okay?
Yeah, that's great.
Can I say something else or someone?
I'm gonna actually go to Kalandra
just so that I have time for a couple-
Okay, yeah, I can wait.
Yeah, all right.
Thank you.
Kalandra, go ahead.
What is the difference between being in hiding
or being in a season where you're content being single
and actually just have no desire to date at a present time?
Cause I'm right, like I'm doing really well.
I love my job.
Physically, I'm doing well.
Mentally, I'm like,
I'm actually feel like I'm in the healthiest place to date
and I've just lost interest.
Well, I think key, the first question is,
if God has led you into a time of just being single
to better figure out who you are
and what you really want in the future,
that's not a bad thing.
I remember being in the community and in the beginning,
Jackie was like encouraging us to date really early on
and it wasn't that I was rebelling.
I knew that like, even before I came in this community,
I felt led to not date for a year.
And then it ended up like I came into this community
and it turned into like, I'm okay like this right now.
And so I ended up waiting about two years to date.
And that was, I felt really good about that for myself.
And so I think the way that I would say
is what's the difference is like,
if God is nudging you to take a break,
because for me, I don't know what your situation was,
but I dated one person after another, after another,
and I was married for a long period,
but then when that fell apart,
I kind of went back into dating unhealthy people.
And so I just like really prayed into it.
I was like, man, I need to just kind of take some time
to figure out who I am
and what is causing me to attract unhealthy people.
And un-become those things
so that I can attract somebody healthy in the days ahead.
And so I needed to kind of recalibrate.
Hiding is somebody who literally feels God
calling them to date and they're resisting, they're staying.
staying single because they believe it's easier to be single, okay?
Or they believe God has them in the waiting room waiting for Boaz, waiting for Boaz.
Those are the differences.
If you feel led to take a break for right now and you're learning kind of like,
oh, I'm kind of enjoying learning about myself, experiencing this.
I really enjoyed going on trips by myself for the first time when I was single.
I had never done that before, you know?
And so those were important experiences for me to have that I believe prepared me to receive Brian.
So I don't know if that gives you enough clarity, but I feel like the distinction is,
are you avoiding dating and that's why you're staying single?
Or is God leading you to that place so that you can kind of recalibrate, figure out who you are,
kind of just get into a place where you're really at peace with yourself
so that you can be at peace in a relationship?
Yeah, and that might be different for everybody else.
Different people hide in different ways.
Some people, you know, go from one relationship to another to another to another to hide, you know?
So when we do coaching sessions like this, I really want everybody to kind of, you know,
hear things through the lens of how is God saying this applies to you?
And sometimes, you know, some of the things that I might say to Kalandra,
or I'm just going to make this up, Yamina, or whoever, might not be for you.
That's where we have to have the Holy Spirit to be our guide and lead us into truth, right?
And so, I mean, I know your story, Kalandra, just from coaching you for, you know, a little while and stuff.
And I think it's a good thing for you to take some time and really just enjoy.
I know that, I think if I remember correctly, you're taking care of your mom and stuff too, right?
Yes, I work full time with animals. I take care of 60 animals, all the things.
But at some point, I believe God will nudge you to reopen your heart to dating.
And in that moment, if you resist it and partner with, it's just easier to be single,
then that's where you're going to kind of know, okay, that's hiding then. Does that make sense?
Yes, thank you.
You're welcome. Thank you for sharing. Crystal, how about you?
Well, can you hear me?
Yes.
Okay, so I came in a year and a half ago, of course, obviously looking for the spirit mate.
I feel like I'm a thousand miles from nowhere, especially since I started the fostering.
I feel kind of a little bit lost myself when I took the newborn twins,
because there's not even a moment in the day sometimes where you can even get,
having one baby is one thing, but having two newborn, 36-week-old babies with medical challenges is a whole nother story by yourself.
And then there's a thousand rules with fostering, who can watch them, where they can go,
all the things that you don't know really when you get into it,
and you put all the work into it and the effort into it and everything else.
Anyhow, I was just in Europe on a trip that I had planned before the twins came.
But anyways, since the beginning of the year, I've just been fighting health challenge after health challenge after health challenge.
And when I was on the cruise in Europe, one of my friends that was there, she's like,
Crystal, it's just because you're stuck. You're not moving forward.
So I don't know. I just, I got to get out of it. Like, I got to get out of this.
I got to figure out what's going on with this.
And that's my pattern. Like when I was young, I mean, I don't know necessarily unless the Holy Spirit would show me,
but even before I was like, I'm going to say just a couple of months.
I mean, I was back in the hospital with croup and this and that.
Like that was the pattern I knew was sickness, like for 24 years.
And I mean, you know, God's healed me of all those things and God uses me with other people,
but it's a constant, you know, like I really watch my language now.
I don't say I have or have this. I just say, you know, I have challenges that I'm, you know, fighting off or whatever,
but like it's been, some of them have been serious.
I mean, I was in the hospital and stuff like that.
So, you know, I've got to, I've got to figure out if it's something emotionally that I got trapped in here because this,
this is just nonsense. Like I can't, I can't go on like this.
Here's my question though. Okay.
So why does your friend think you're stuck because you're getting sick? Is that what you're saying?
Yeah. She's like the challenges that you're, you're, you're fighting off in your health.
She was like, I think she's like, I think they're emotionally because you're,
you're afraid to move forward, you know, knee, hip, whatever, you know.
What's really interesting is I think you are moving forward.
Okay.
I mean, you're literally stepping into part of your dream.
Like, you know, yes, the spirit mate hasn't come yet,
but you're like fostering and you're taking care of these kids.
kids and you're experiencing all this new stuff, you know, here's the reality, kids come with germs.
They come with lots of germs and so I don't know that I would partner with that you're stuck.
I honestly think maybe your immune system might be weak because it's a lot of stress to take care
of a bunch of kids too and send them on back to their parents and I mean it could be a lot
of things, right? And so I just I don't feel like maybe it's the negative pattern that I go back to
feeling that I'm not getting anywhere. That's what I think is more what would cause you to be stuck
if anything, Crystal, because and again I think this is a great example everyone. Here she is,
she's moving forward from now I don't see you in your everyday life but just from some of the
things that I know that you encountered, things that you were afraid of, things that you thought
you were never going to have and here you are you're walking some of those things out
but believing that you're not moving forward.
This goes back to what I was saying earlier, you guys, the enemy wants us to be double-minded. He
wants us to constantly be like, oh nothing's working, nothing's working, but like we're
literally walking out some of the things like at the time he's saying this stuff to us.
And so I would encourage you, Crystal, to go back to like in the heart work when I talk a lot about
catching the thought, you know, we want to catch our thoughts quickly and cast those things down
and make them obedient to Jesus Christ and the truth of his word and so I would look at all the
things that are going well. So before you go to bed tonight or tomorrow, again your hands are full
there, you got a lot going on, even if you don't have time to write them down with a pen,
just like transcribe it into your phone or something, but like I want you to just list
three things that have happened good in the last week, okay, and I want you to do that at least
once a week. You don't have to do it every day, but at least once a week where you're just like,
okay, these are three good things that happened this week, you know, whether it was a step you
took forward, whether it was something you experienced that was good with the babies
that you're taking care of, or whatever, but something positive, because I think, again,
as I was talking about earlier, the more that we partner with the positive that's working,
and again, it's not ignoring the things that we still want to happen,
or that we are like, when I have felt sick, man, it's hard to be positive. I don't know
about you guys, but that's some of the hardest times for me to be positive, but even in that
like, I've had days I go to church on Sunday, I haven't felt great, but y'all, I still worship.
It's not always easy, but when we partner with the worship, with the good things, again, I think that
it creates this momentum a little bit in us to like, oh yeah, like even though I might not feel
well, these are the good things you're doing, God.
Yeah, I guess, and too, I feel like, you know, I want to date, and I want to do the things,
you know, example yesterday, listening to Jackie's, you know, whatever, the spotlight that she did,
right, and it's like, you know, I put myself in a position where, you know, I'm financially
independent, I can travel, I can move, I don't, you know, I don't have a whatever, I'm healthy,
I'm this, but it's like, I put myself in a position that I can't, because I can't do anything,
but it's like, I put myself in a position that I can't, because I can't do anything.
Right now, or until God brings you a person that can walk with you in that, you know,
and we don't know how God's going to orchestrate that. You all, so many, God is like, so creative
and great. You might know a friend right now that might tomorrow think like, oh my gosh,
this guy, man, he would be great for Crystal. I'm just saying, I'm not saying it's like a genie
in a bottle, you all, it's not always that easy, but I am saying that it is possible.
And so maybe the thing is, is that you're in this moment of enjoying something that you've wanted,
and the enemy is trying to do everything he can to get you to not enjoy it by convincing you that
because you have these babies now, you've like ruined your chances of finding a spirit mate.
That isn't true. It might make it a little more tricky right now, you know, in some ways,
but again, I don't think it's that you're not moving forward. I think this is stuff that
needed to happen for you to grow in confidence in a lot of different ways, to know that God would
fulfill promises that you've been asking him for. You know, it might not always come the way we
want it to, ladies and gentlemen, but God is working and he's leading us one step at a time.
I never said I would go on a dating app. Again, I went on a dating app and I met Brian. So look at
what's going well. Okay. And let's see how that helps you move forward just even in your own
internal self and how you're thinking. And then as you're thinking, hopefully more positively
over these next few weeks, maybe that will help create some external changes as well regarding
I need to get back into the community as well because I mean like, you know, they just overtook
my life. And so, I mean, you know, it can be like 16 hours of feeding with a pair of twins. Like
you just, you have no idea until you have twins. So it's like, it's just an, you know, you're just
like, oh my goodness. Yeah. And maybe part of this, remember the guys might not know this,
but part of what we do in the heart work too, is we encourage the ladies to practice receiving.
And part of that is we encourage them to ask people for help. Crystal, this is your season
to ask some people for help. I need help. I guess. You know what? You might have some friends that
would be really blessed to come and help you walk part of this dream of your life out. You might
just be surprised. So practice asking people to come and help you even though it was something
you wanted. It's okay. There's things that I want to, I wanted to be in full-time ministry,
running this race with my husband. It's awesome. But man, some days it's hard and we need help.
The harvest is plentiful. So I just want to encourage you, ask for help, focus on some
good things and let's see where that leads you. Okay. All right. Thank you. You're welcome. Great,
great stuff. Hunter. Hi. Hey. How's it going? Oh good. It's just, I've been trying to, it's just
trying to balance away from my old approach to my new approach that I think would be the great way.
All right. So I'm not on the apps. I did meet some women in church, but it originally started,
you know, I went to Greece and multi-met them. And I, well, I was still a Romanian level one
relationship with them. Of course I got to know one. One's a local, the other is a mom who's in
her forties. And basically she, one, so what happens is they were, they were nice and they
encouraged me to sit with them. It's like, okay. And then they, but we, but we didn't get in,
try to connect where we try to lead to level two, like on all the tours. One time I, I slept,
I overslept and she knocked on my door to wake me up. And when we got to go to Turkey, I finally
got my price, a pound of her. And then finally when, and I met them again in church and I was
thinking, I want to be next to them. And they're like, sure. I got to chat with them and I was
like, it's okay. But I said, sure. And we sat and chat and then we got to know them. And then
finally, and then I was like, that's great. I'm not, I'm just doing that next step. I try to
sit there next step. I'm, I'm behind them in the row. And then I go in once one tried to come in
and encourage me to sit next to you. I was like, okay. And then, and then I went to a men's
conference and I was the one that interacted the most with most with her one with her.
And then the other one, I wasn't here. And then I finally, she even tried to sit next to me and we
walked out together in church. And I was thinking, well, it's like, this is an approach versus one
way to approach it rather than try to be the one who instigates it and try to manipulate and make
it happen. How about I try to make an approach and try to be aware of what they're thinking.
And I think there might be, they like me. I, the good news is I like, that's a good way to start
to lead to a level two relationship. Cause I might think of asking him to hang out. I don't
think that I think it's their kind nature because one of them is such a good godly woman. And because
my biggest fear, a lot of us men is they're trying to manipulate, try to make happen chicken now.
And we won't, don't want some control. I don't see those traits in her at all. She looks like
a godly woman when, and fears the Lord. And she doesn't seem to be that bad at it then. And then
of course, the thing is it's my approach is the thing is I'm not going to, I don't think it's
really any, it has to do more than being kind nature and welcoming rather than building connection
and chemistry. But what you're doing is really good because you're giving yourself time to get
to know them Hunter. And I think that you're seeing some really good qualities in them.
I don't think it would hurt to say to maybe try it with one right now, maybe not both. Let's see
what happens if you just say to one of the ladies that you've really enjoyed getting to know
that you've enjoyed getting to know her and want to know if she would like to go to dinner.
And then here's the thing. The thing is I'm not going to come try and make it happen and make
it like an island, push it like under pressure. You don't have to push it. If she doesn't want
to go to dinner, then you can just say, okay, I would just like to get to know you at church then.
You know, but then the other problem is I don't want, but at the same time, I'm not going to be
make singles comfortable and be isolation. I want to build a legit relationship rather than be.
incentivized by what's in it for me, like sleep or whatever, or the benefits of it rather
than being incentivized.
But going to dinner, Hunter, going to dinner isn't any of those things.
It's just asking the person that you're enjoying getting to know if they would like to go to
dinner.
If they say no, then you're going to know that that's probably not an open door right
now.
So you're doing a lot of really good things.
I feel like even hearing you talk in the past, like you were just kind of focused on what
wasn't happening, and now you're like, okay, I'm enjoying getting to know these ladies.
They look, you know, they're acting really nice.
They asked if I wanted to sit by them.
And you even said just a few moments ago, it might just be their kind nature.
I'm not sure.
Those are not things you said before.
So I feel like I hear a lot of growth in you.
I also really like your haircut.
I don't know if this is a new thing.
It looks really good on you.
I know.
So I think just, you know, keep being patient.
But being patient doesn't mean you can't ask someone to dinner to see if they're interested.
Yeah, so I have to be patient.
Like in jiu jitsu, it's all about trying to get better.
And that's the thing I try.
I even tell them about my personal life too.
But even one of them that asked, but the only thing is I add details to it, I didn't need
to when they didn't want to know.
That's how you learn.
I know.
It's just, I know.
I've turned one off on the trip because she's an animal lover.
I cursed and she went, give me those eyeball logs and I scared in and she got mad.
I was like, well, she didn't.
She let go.
I'm thinking, okay, this is an honest mistake.
Just move on.
Don't beat yourself up.
It is.
And you know what?
This is the thing.
You know, sometimes people, I have a lady at church that I've been kind of coaching and
teaching on how to minister to people that are newer to church.
Because we have another young lady that's coming and she didn't grow up in church and
you all, she will drop F-bombs in the church parking lot.
Okay.
But sometimes people that are, have been in church for a long time, you know, we're not
used to that maybe because we don't swear.
And so when people do that, then people are like, how dare they?
You know, well, we got to remember some people, even if you go to church, some people, it
just slips out.
And so Hunter, don't be hard on yourself.
I think you've grown a ton.
I've really enjoyed hearing what you've shared tonight.
And we just are so glad that you're in this community.
So many of us, how many of y'all have seen Hunter grow a lot in the last few years?
Wave at Hunter.
It's been, it's, I bet I'm not the kind who gives, not the kind of guy who gives up.
I know you don't.
And it's awesome.
I'm so glad that you shared tonight.
We really appreciate you.
I want to see if there's anyone else that want, oh, Renee, I saw your thing in the chat.
Renee, if you want to unmute, you can ask your question.
I don't know if Renee is still here or not.
She was saying she didn't know how to raise her hand.
That's the Renee I'm talking to.
She didn't know how to raise her hand digitally, but she's on her phone.
So Renee, if you are still here and you want to ask your question, you can.
All right.
Maybe she's not sure how to work her phone, which is okay.
So Renee, if you can hear me, if you will put your question in our community group,
myself or one of the coaches, peer coaches will respond to you there.
Is anyone else?
I can probably take one more person.
Is there anyone else before I close tonight out?
I'll go.
It's not really a question.
It's just a hard work thing that has happened for me where I've had two gentlemen that I
was intentional about getting to know.
And I had a dream about one of them the night, like a week before I was supposed to meet
them.
And it just gave me ickiness inside.
I asked to Deacon and he's like, yeah, just tell him you don't have peace about it and
bless him and block him and move on.
And he kind of laughed it off, but I felt so much peace when I did it.
The next guy I went on a date with just a few days ago, which was a great date.
He was super kind and intentional and paid and held my hand and prayed.
But there was several things that he had said to me on the phone that I just really wasn't
feeling good about it.
And when I saw him, I didn't have attraction to him.
And then those other things rose up in my spirit.
And I said the same thing.
I told my brother and his wife about the things that he had said, and it didn't set right
in my spirit at all.
My brother was like, no, no, no.
And so I just felt so much peace, even though I was so excited to meet him.
And it didn't work out.
I didn't have that much of a discouragement because I feel like I've grown so much in
my spirit.
And he was shocked again, too.
And I'm like, I got to bless him and block him again.
I got to block him on everywhere so that I don't get any conversation from him.
And that felt so good.
There was a tiny bit of discouragement getting back on the app because I had been focusing
on him a little bit more, just for like two weeks or so, but not really.
I know that God has an amazing person for me.
And so I liked what you said earlier, too, about being intentional and saying a prayer.
I've been intentional.
Like, God, should I talk to this guy?
God, should I say yes to this guy?
God, should I X this guy?
And so I do say that, but I haven't said a prayer like you had mentioned.
I forget exactly what you said, but it was good.
It was good to say that.
God lead me to the right person and keep the people that I'm not supposed to be with away
from me and things like that.
So I second guessed myself if I really have gone through the heart work, even though it's
been so long.
I know that through the years since I've been in this program, it's exponentially, exponentially
changed my life.
And I'm so grateful for this program.
It's really changed my life.
And I'm not in this desperate, anxious state like I was in the very beginning several years
ago.
So if anyone else is feeling like they're in that stage, I just want to encourage you
to just keep moving, keep going forward, just keep doing what you're doing.
Take a few minutes with the Lord, however long you have.
Be diligent, be faithful, be consistent and ask the Lord what he wants you to do for everything.
And it'll help so much.
And I'm just so grateful for you, Bethany, and this program and all the leaders.
So thank you so much.
Thank you.
Yes, that was so great.
And Victoria, I would second that even as you're talking and hearing how you navigated
those situations with those two guys, I can tell the difference in just how you're talking
about it.
I don't hear anxiousness in your voice.
I hear calm, which is a huge win.
So be sure to give yourself a hug.
Y'all, y'all, you know, I teach these little kids at church a lot now.
So I think about this stuff and I'm going to say this and y'all are going to be like,
this is kind of silly.
But I think for those of you that will take me up on this, guys included, guys will probably
check out on this.
You'll do it.
I think it'll help you too.
All right.
So after I pray and we close out tonight, what I really want to encourage you all to
do is just for like 60 seconds, you can set a timer to literally hug yourself and tell
yourself that you're proud of yourself.
I'm serious.
Say some good things over yourself before you just move on from this moment that we've
had in time tonight together.
I really think so many of you, these are truths that you needed to hear.
You needed to be reminded of God's love and what he has for you.
Like I said, I think we'll go into inner vows a little more in our next session.
So be praying as we prepare for that as well.
Let me pray for y'all next week.
So I don't forget, you guys will have love seats, Ask Jackie love seats on the docket
next Tuesday night.
Our schedules are a little different.
We used to do kind of alternating Tuesday, Thursday, Tuesday, Thursday.
We might get back to that, but just our team right now for the month of May, it's like
Tuesday night, Tuesday night, Tuesday night, and then there's going to be a Thursday.
So you guys just make sure you pay attention to your event calendars.
Okay. All right.
Father, thank you so much for this night.
God, we thank you for the truth of everything that went forth.
God, I pray that you would take these truths deeper into every man and woman.
God, that it would continue to set them free for days to come, that dots would continue
to get connected.
God, that they would continue to grow in confidence in you.
God, not just in head knowledge, but in heart knowledge.
That where their subconscious takes them back into negative places, God, or they get stuck
in old patterns.
Lord, we thank you that you'll just come in and supernaturally start to create new grooves
and help them to intentionally have the courage and the tenacity and the focus to, yeah, Lord,
just reprogram their minds by the power of your spirit, but also by the words that they
declare, the thoughts that they think.
So Lord, I pray that you would help us to take every thought captive and make it obedient
to Jesus Christ.
That you would enable us to each one partner with you in guarding our hearts and our minds
through Christ Jesus.
That we would remember that we have to take an active role of protecting what comes into
our hearts and our minds.
And Lord, help us to meditate on things that are true and noble and lovely and of good
report.
Things that are above only and not beneath.
God, I thank you that this next season, this next few months, God, that they're going to
bring a rapid increase of blessings and suddenlies.
God, we thank you for doors of opportunity opening where people haven't seen opportunity.
We thank you for jobs happening and manifestations of financial blessings, spirit make
connections. God, we know that you're bringing so.
many babies into our community in different ways.
We have Crystal on tonight, fostering.
We have a lot of married couples
that have been getting pregnant,
some of them having babies.
God, we just say thank you.
We thank you for everything that we've had already happened,
but God, we thank you for additional marriages to come,
engagements to come, relationships happening,
and connections that people are just like,
man, I didn't know it could be this good.
So God, I thank you.
I thank you for all of those things,
and we believe them and we receive them.
In Jesus' name, amen.
God bless you all.
I hope you have a great night, everyone.
See you again soon.
Bye-bye.
God bless.
Thank you, Bethany.