Welcome, welcome, welcome, ladies. It is May 12th. This is your live one o'clock Eastern
session for phase two, Love Story Accelerator. I'm Carla Johnson. I almost said my maiden
name for a second there. I am one of the coaches here at Last Year Single. If you do not know
me and you're brand new here, welcome. So, so grateful to have you here with us. If you
are new here, which I see just a couple ladies on with us right now, but if you are brand
new to phase two, just go ahead and raise your avatar hand just so I can see. I see
Megan and Peggy. You are here. I know my girl, Karen, Teresa, and Kelly. They're all girls
I recognize. I've got Sarah here as well. So good to see you all. But yes, oh, there's
Sarah. Yes, I remember Sarah. Yes, she's in her car. I love it. I love seeing your faces.
So definitely come on camera. I know Karen came a moment ago and said she's still eating.
So if you're eating, that's fine. I get it. Totally understandable. Megan, so, so glad
to have you with us. So yeah, I'm one of the coaches here. Oh, hey girl. Love the hat.
Love the hat. And then Peggy. Peggy's got a hat. Look at her. She's like out walking.
She's getting some sun there. I love it. Fantastic. Awesome. So yeah, I'm one of your coaches
here at Last Year Single. I've been with Jackie since basically the start five years ago,
I was a student of hers, single myself. So been through all of it.
Been through the roller coaster, the ups and the downs, the highs and the lows.
So I can relate on so many levels. I did end up meeting my spirit mate. We've been
married now under three years, about two and a half years. We are blending a family. And
yes, so I have all the preparation that you will need for marriage. I got all that wisdom.
So I know what it's like to be single and like, not know what to expect. And then now I am in it.
And so I can help prepare you ladies. So I hope that is encouraging for you.
But I was never married when I first joined Jackie. I did have, I was a single mama.
So I did have a younger son when I came to find Jackie. He was, he was about five years old.
He had just turned five. And so then, and now he's 10. Can't believe it. He's going to be 11
here in a couple months. So I can relate on that level. Never been married, single mom.
I got married at 40. So you ladies that maybe you're like, you feel like you're running out
of time. Like, I definitely felt that, especially if you felt like, oh, I wanted to have more kids.
Or, you know, even the whole blending family, being like, you know, in my 40,
like going into my forties, but I know it all like, like the whole, wait, do I want kids?
Do I not want kids? I want more kids, but I don't know if I can have more kids, all of that. So,
and then just how God just really unfolded a love story that I wasn't expecting.
And the process of that as well. And so you'll hear Jackie often say like,
God's promises often come with a process and I've been through that. So I want that to be
an encouragement because I know that the enemy oftentimes wants to kind of creep in and get us
kind of sabotaging ourselves with our own, like, but I thought it was going to happen this way.
And, and, you know, God is such a beautiful author and he's so intentional with his love stories.
And after being in this community for five years and seeing so many love stories unfold,
let me tell you, like, they are incredible. So that is just to give you a little bit of
encouragement. I'm going to go ahead and just do a couple of housekeeping items, not long,
and then pray us in and we'll get started. So yeah, if you are brand new, I definitely want
you to definitely check out and get familiar with the tabs in the app,
especially like the resource tab, the event tab, the content tab.
of all of that, the replay,
definitely get yourself familiar.
And then this goes for all of you ladies,
just to kind of, it's always good to refresh yourself
with the last year single guidelines.
And so I recognize that they're not in our phase two content
but you should have access to them from phase one heartwork.
Okay, and so that is under your content under heartwork
and you'll find it under the welcome session.
When you click on content
and then it will be under Royal rules, okay?
It is just really helpful to revisit that from time to time.
Those guidelines are in place to kind of create,
not kind of, it is there to create a safe space.
This community is really, really special because of that.
And it's, we're here to keep that space protected
and safe because vulnerability does create connection.
And that is so important in this process.
And that connection really does support healing.
And so our focus is heartwork and singleness
and it's personal growth, it's faith, it's relationships.
It's that healing and all of that stuff
is going to prepare you for marriage
and just help you step into that.
And so it really is important for us
to just keep that centered
on what we really do cherish here in this community.
It's why this community I believe is as successful as it is
is because there is such an intentionality
of keeping this space sacred.
And it really does allow for you all to open up
and feel like this is a space for you
to be able to be vulnerable and share.
And I will tell you, I mean,
especially having been in this community for five years
and witnessing several women who have struggled at times
that coming out of hiding,
really having a hard time getting vulnerable,
whether it's because they've got some old past wounds
from not feeling accepted and feeling rejected
and in life at early ages and stages and in relationships
and even with friendships, that was me.
I struggled a lot with my identity,
especially in relationships with women.
And so having a community like this
where it was safe for me to open up
and to be vulnerable and to be real and to be accepted
at just where I was at really did help my healing process.
And it allowed me to kind of stretch myself.
And so that is really, really important.
And so I hope that, I wasn't even gonna share this today.
So this is just Holy Spirit.
If that is speaking to you in your heart,
if you are someone that just really does struggle
with being seen, you feel like you're,
that just this need to maybe be in hiding,
maybe not putting your camera on
or speaking out and getting vulnerable,
I just want to open that space for you.
And I wanna share with you, you're not alone.
And it is something that we value here.
And so I want you to feel safe.
I want you to feel heard.
I want you to feel seen and understood.
And so, yeah, like I said,
that was not in my notes to even cover.
So that must be Holy Spirit.
So somebody that's speaking to somebody, all right.
So I, so definitely been time of my life.
So Holy Spirit on that, share with us,
whatever's speaking with you.
But yes, definitely get familiar in the app.
It kind of goes along a little bit
with kind of what we're gonna talk about today.
And it really spoke, this topic spoke to me
because of Jackie's Supernatural Saturday.
She talked a lot about mother wounds and healing that.
And so it just really brought up a lot about rejection.
And wanting to be validated.
So that is kind of the teaching for today.
And so that probably ties in a little bit
with that needing to be vulnerable.
So I'll go ahead and pray for us and we'll get started on that so Heavenly
Father I just thank you. I thank you for each and every one of the women here
today. You know we invite you in this space today Lord. We invite your presence
here. I thank you that you meet us exactly where we are and not where we
think we should be but just right where we are. We don't have to strive. We don't
have to perform. We just have to be in your presence. So I just invite you into
this teaching and I ask that you gently quiet any noise of self-judgment or
comparison any sort of emotional overwhelm that we might be experiencing
especially anything from this past weekend that might be dredging up as you
know holidays often sometimes can can bring up you know just those emotional
wounds in us Lord but just meet us there. Comfort us in those spaces. Bring us
peace Lord. Help us to become aware of what is truth.
What is your truth and what is a feeling? There's a difference. There's a
difference between what is a feeling and what is a truth. Lord teach us to pause
before we attach identity to any emotion that we feel. Help us to recognize when
our hearts are speaking from old wounds, old stories, old agreements, lies that
we've you know attached to ourselves that just don't align with what you say
about us. You know Lord I ask for your grace today. Remove any pressure. There's
no striving here just awareness and openness Lord. Let the space be where
your truth becomes more familiar than than assumptions and where your voice
becomes clearer than anything in our own heads that creates any sort of inner
confusion Lord. We're to just we give this time to you in Jesus name Amen.
All right got some ladies joining us. I got a few on camera. If you're able to be
with us on camera definitely want to see your beautiful faces. We got 15 of us on
including myself. So yeah today I got in my notes here. I want to just do a brief
teaching on this topic of divine rejection, pain, and identity
mislabeling. Okay and so my goal is to be pretty brief with this. Hopefully
let's see it's 12 14 now. My goal is going to be to be finished. Let's see
let's give me 20 minutes, 20-25 minutes. How about that? Sound good? All right so
I'm gonna move pretty quick. I know I can talk pretty fast so do your best to take
notes. Okay but remember this is always in replay so you can always go back and
watch it in replay if you need to kind of jot some more things down. So one of
the most important things in this community is to learn that not everything
you feel is who you are. I think last week I was talking to you ladies about
how I'm a very emotional person. I'm a feeler. Okay and that's one thing even in
in this community that helped me recognize my identity was something that
I really needed to focus on. But it will help you prepare you for marriage because
even in marriage I've recognized just how easy it is for my feelings to kind
of take over. Sarah Shell, she knows. She's been married. She knows and she's
a feeler with me. Okay and that's one thing like my husband is always he this
is one thing that he's said and in the beginning it used to kind of rub me the
wrong way. He used to tell me feelings are fleeting. They're not facts. Feelings
aren't facts and I would just like to me it sounded very dismissive and y'all
have had to do some work on that. But I now understand like his heart behind it
and God's heart behind bringing me a man that was going to you know strut
me in this area. Y'all it's a stretching, your marriages will
stretch you and it's good thing. Okay. God's in it. God knows
exactly what you need. All right. And so not everything you
feel is who you are, and it's not always a fact. And so that
is something that is something really catch hold of. I think
it's a really, really good lesson to just take. If you
could capture that now in that in this single season, I really
truly believe that it will help you in that season of marriage
when God has that for you, because he does ladies, get
ready. He's got marriage for you. All right. So rejection,
pain, emotional discomfort, discomfort, those are just
experiences. They're not identity statements. Okay. Keep
that in mind. All right. So when we know how to take those
emotions and those feelings, and interpret them, we can turn
those, like, into something that can guide us towards healing,
instead of turning those moments into labels. It's about learning
how to interpret those emotions and feelings instead of
misinterpreting them and attaching a label to them. Okay.
So divine rejection, it's not identity rejection at all. Like
we often say like divine rejection is like God's
protection. It's often just a redirection for your protection.
So we don't just feel rejection, we become it in our language,
unfortunately. Like, I'm sure everyone on here has some story,
some moment where they can probably put in the chat, a time
a time where you felt rejected. And it hurt. Y'all, I got
handfuls of those stories. Right? One of mine that I know
Jackie's even shared, you know, before, you know, was, I was a
single mom. My son's dad left me seven months pregnant. We
weren't married. You know, you want to talk about some
rejection. Oh, you got your hormones going. You pregnant.
All right. And then you're not married. And you're going to
church. And then you go to church. And you're like, oh,
that relationship that I thought was like God and so beautiful.
And oh, look, I stepped out of alignment with God. And you
know, now I'm falling to pieces. I mean, talk about feeling
rejected from, you know, stepping into a church. Oh, my
gosh. Y'all, I felt rejection from all sides. It really,
really, like, I then began like, playing into that really had
something to say about me. And it was really attaching to old
beliefs, old patterns, old wounds that I picked up from
childhood and old relationships that I had been in. And, you
know, things from my past and in childhood and rejections with
friends and high school. And well, y'all middle school just
taught my daughter, she's got what is today we've got Tuesday,
my kids have six more days left of school. And my daughter gets
out of eighth grade, and she gets to be a freshman high
school. And I'm like celebrating that I have three kids. And not
a single one of them is in middle school. And I'm just
like, Oh, praise the Lord. I was telling one of the the moms that
my youngest is baseball. I'm like, I am just so excited. I
don't have to like sit in middle school years with a kid next
year. Because I don't watch you all but middle school. Oh, my
goodness. Everybody I always talk to no, yes. No, but like,
no one like, I feel like everybody has horror stories
from middle school, especially as girls, I guess women. And so
I am like, so excited that I don't have to do that. And so,
you know, I have a lot of that from you know, my past, like the
middle
school, the high school years, the friendships, the relationships, all of that stuff.
And so, you know, I get into this relationship that I thought was, was God.
I thought God was bringing me this, you know, man that was family oriented, wanted,
you know, wanted a family, you know, at the time he was attending church.
Y'all, and then I stepped out of alignment and, you know, I didn't see, you know, I
was in my own wounds and my own stuff and got into this relationship.
And then it just started like exploding.
I was at, like, I was in my stuff.
Like I, it was, you know, I could go on and on, but I felt a lot of rejection.
And then it kept me from wanting to even date at all that I was like, Nope, just
going to focus on being a single mama.
Y'all, and then 2020 happened.
I was like, and then I found Jackie's Facebook ad and I was like, uh, I like
what she's saying here.
It resonates with me.
Um, don't know about all of it, but there was something intriguing about it.
And so I joined her, her community and, you know, got a lot of healing and
very, very thankful for it.
So, um, but yeah, like we, we take this feeling of rejection and it becomes our
language.
So instead of, you know, of it saying I experienced a no, we come to this
conclusion of I'm not chosen, I'm behind, I'm not enough, but what that actually
is, that no is a divine rejection is actually protection, timing, and
formation often is what it is.
And so what it means practically is a delay is not your identity.
A closed door is not your worth and a not yet is not a statement about you.
It's not proof of your unworthiness, a reflection of value or an identity label.
Okay.
Pain is not who you are.
How many of you listen to supernatural Saturday?
Two hands, a little avatar hands up.
I know I got Sarah shell and Sarah got, I know you got questions.
Okay.
Peggy Kelly.
You guys got to listen to supernatural Saturday.
Megan did too.
That's good.
Patty.
Awesome.
Yes.
Sarah shell.
It triggered something in me too.
Y'all like, I thought I did the healing with like my mom and some wounds for my
mom and my, my parents really, you know, my mom, I knew I had wounds for my mom
and I have some rooms for my dad, but I, you know, I was in heartwork five years
ago and that was where a lot of my heartwork started.
I worked through a lot of my parental stuff and I, you know, I sit there and
think, well, Oh, I've gone through that healing with them.
I don't have that ache, that grief anymore, but there was something else
that unfolded that surfaced in that session in that supernatural Saturday.
I was like, Oh my goodness.
And then I even had a conversation with Bethany and I kind of joked with her
cause you know, Bethany and I, you know, we, we were in heartwork together.
She came in a little bit after me, just a couple months after me.
And I always hear Bethany's voice cause she had to tell me this over and over
again, and you'll hear me say it.
I know y'all probably heard Bethany say it in phase one, but healing
and forgiveness comes in layers.
And so I'm listening to supernatural Saturday.
I'm listening to Jackie and all this is coming.
It's like rushing over and I'm like, healing and forgiveness comes in layers.
I'm like, Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Ooh, I got some stuff to work through with the Holy spirit.
Um, and so, yeah, like it was really good.
So ladies, those of you that didn't raise your hands and didn't listen to it, please
do, and I don't want it to, if, if the whole mother's mother's day stuff and
some of that kind of triggers you.
I don't want that to make you resistant to go in and listen to it.
I really do want you to just push through it.
I mean, even if you have to just listen to a little bits and pieces and like
pause it and sit with the Lord with it, get some tears out, whatever it is.
It will be healing.
I promise you.
Okay.
So, all right, let me jump back in.
Cause I want to, I want to stay on, on, on a time here.
Keep in mind, pain is just information.
It's not your identity.
Okay.
You're going to hear me say this often.
It's not, it has nothing to do with identity.
But many of us are conditioned to turn our pain into identity.
Okay.
So the, I feel rejected becomes, I am rejected.
We turn it into, I am statements.
I feel anxious, turns into, I'm unsafe.
And I feel unsafe.
And I feel unseen means I'm, I am unwanted.
We turn the feelings into, I am statements.
Y'all, I do that a lot.
I happen.
One of my struggles is I often feel like I am not seen or understood or worthy
or valuable.
That's one of those things in my identity that I have struggled with for
years.
And so that creeps in.
And again, that supernatural Saturday coming and bringing it to the, like,
oh, these are mother wounds and really learning where that, that, that is.
It, it opens it up for me to actually get that healing.
It's just a signal.
To something being revealed.
That's all pain is ladies.
It's just a signal.
It's not an absolute statement.
It's not a defining statement.
It is just a sing, a signal, an invitation, a moment for God to rewrite
an agreement.
All right, somewhere in my past, I made an agreement with that.
And then I utilized all these moments where I felt something to validate what
I came into agreement with.
And so now it's an invitation for me to sit with Holy Spirit and invite Holy
Spirit to show me.
Okay.
Help me see where I.
I was feeling something and attached my identity to it.
Help me come out of alignment with that and replace it with your truth Lord
ladies.
You have to replace the lies you do.
Okay.
Because you are not your emotional response.
So I have to remind myself of that so often.
This is a layer that I'm really getting into that deeper place with and so I
really I really think this is this is helpful for a lot of you.
It will it will unlock so much for you.
I trust me.
So now we're going to talk about that attachment and that mother wound lens.
So early relational wounds can train us to mislabel present experiences.
So our current relationships will get filtered through old patterns.
So the anxiety will become like I'm too much.
Like I feel that often because I'm a feeler and get really really anxious.
Okay.
Occasionally, I'll shut down.
Because it's like if I'm too much.
Then I'm just gonna if I shut down then I'll avoid it.
You know, I don't need anybody then I go into this independence.
Okay.
No, not me.
Not at all.
No, not at all.
And then there's this push and pull becomes this is just how love is.
This push pull.
It's this it's this dance.
This is game that that's what that is.
And y'all that's not really what God intended that to be.
And so what's actually happening is your nervous system is just remembering.
Old past experiences.
It's not just responding.
It's for it's remembering old things.
It's
So you're interpreting what's happening in the present
through a past experience.
And so the healing is now like it's
learning how to pause before assigning meaning to something
and separate the now from what was going on then
and letting God rewire your sense of safety
and remind you that none of this is your identity.
It's simply what's being healed.
Did anybody do the Clarity Challenge?
I just posted mine today.
Sarah, did you do the Clarity Challenge?
You can unmute.
I did.
I observed somebody this week, but I didn't actually
take it and post it online.
But I did observe.
Stay with that, ladies.
Go back to that Clarity Challenge
because I think this kind of really does this kind of,
what's the word I'm looking for, kind of overflows
into this week, all right?
Like, I was really recognizing.
I'm like, oh my goodness.
I really, I was recognizing where
and what kind of relationships do
I feel a lot of anxiousness, a lot of pressure,
a lot of intensity.
And oftentimes, it's in these spaces
where I feel like I have to take charge.
And y'all, let me tell you.
When you're a mom of three kids and they've got teenagers,
busy, busy, busy, I feel like I always
have to take charge with my kids and my household.
That's not a place where I really
want to feel the pressure and intensity.
And then when you feel that, guess what?
Your house, we are the ones, like us females,
the feminine really does define and set the tone for our home.
And I'm like, whoa, I need to figure out
where this comes from.
And I was sitting, and again, Supernatural Saturday really
did unlock a lot of this, that I went back
and I saw, oh my goodness, this really
is tied to some of those mom wounds
and even some of the wounds that I had for my dad as well.
I mean, there's a combination there
where I felt like I had to take on responsibilities
because no one else did.
I was a kid, yet I had to be the one that
was the mature, responsible one.
I remember kind of not realizing it when I was younger,
and I came to the awareness when I was 19 years old.
And so when I was younger, I had no clue.
It felt just like, well, this is life.
This is normal.
My parents and my mom would use drugs in front of us.
I'm not talking about hardcore drugs,
but they would smoke pot in front of us.
Talk about parents being checked out.
I'd always wonder, why is it that my mom would smoke this?
She'd only smoke from this one little thing.
My mom didn't like my dad smoking cigarettes,
but then she participated in smoking with my dad
through this one little thing.
I was so little.
I'd be in the backseat of the car,
and my mom would be smoking.
And I'm like, but this didn't make sense to me
because she'd complain about my dad smoking cigarettes,
but for some reason, there'd be times that she'd be smoking.
And at 19, I found the little thing of what it was.
By 19, I knew what that was.
And I'm like, oh, my word.
Now, she did it throughout my whole childhood,
but I remember being really, really young,
being in a car seat, in the backseat of a car
with my older brother.
I mean, I have a vivid memory of that.
And I'm like, oh, my gosh.
Like, that reality at 19 of like,
my mom was getting high in the car
with me and my brother in the backseat,
and my dad was driving and doing that.
I'm like, well, no wonder I feel like I
had to be the responsible one.
Oh my goodness, and so there's some healing that comes, so now I can understand why there
is this intensity and pressure every time I feel like I have to take charge and be responsible
because my body is reminding myself back when I was younger.
I was a kid.
I didn't know better.
I didn't know how to handle those situations, so it's normal to probably be a child at like
three, four years old and probably have needs that need to be met and not know how to get
those needs met and being a little anxious about it.
I had an older brother who was five years older than me, was probably trying to help,
but he had a severe ADHD.
My older brother used to beat up on me.
So imagine how I was taking that and now forming these belief systems and how that now transformed
my relationships into adulthood, okay?
And so those all came from those mom wounds, those parent wounds, and now I get to kind
of go sit with Holy Spirit and I get to invite him into this process and just be like, you
know, be with me in this.
Sit with me as that little three and four-year-old girl, and that's where I get to sit and take
on that healing, and I get to, so when I'm in those moments of intensity and that feeling
wants to come back up again, when I can catch it, I get to sit there and remember, no, that's
not who I am.
I get to have that invitation with Holy Spirit, and so I get to now have that core shift from
an identity label to an emotional awareness now, and so that's what I want to help you
ladies uncover.
So the maturity shift is simple and powerful.
It just takes some vulnerability, okay?
So instead of what does this say about me, you're going to ask, what am I feeling right
now?
What story am I attaching it to?
And is this truth or an interpretation?
This is hard work, ladies.
You will continue to do hard work your whole life, and as you're stepping into this phase
and you're getting out and dating or you're even entertaining the idea or thought of dating,
whatever feelings are surfacing, okay?
Because I know some ladies, y'all, I didn't date for the first year, okay?
So the whole like challenge to date, I was like, Jackie, you ain't doing that.
What are you talking about?
You know, and I, you know, I was, it was out of fear.
A lot of it was out of fear, but a lot of it too was because God also knew I needed
to really work on my identity.
He really wanted to come in and comfort me, and he also knew how stubborn I was.
Y'all, I'm a controller, all right?
Sarah Shell's laughing because she knows.
I've admitted it, okay?
Y'all can laugh, all right?
I'm not going to hide it, okay?
This is a safe space.
I will safely and vulnerably share with you my walk, my testimony, all right?
I have nothing to hide from you ladies, all right?
My walk, I share this because when people share things with me, it's helped my healing,
and so I will be transparent with you all because my heart is to hopefully give you
encouragement to help you in your growth.
That's my heart because I know that's what I've needed, and so it's my, it's the least
I can do for what God has done for me and what he's, you know, who he's brought in my
life, so that's my heart.
But yeah, like, that was my story.
story, for sure. I would definitely, you know, attach a
lot of that stuff. You know, I was stubborn and, you know,
controlling and all these things. And so God was just
like, okay, I'm only a little time with this one. She got to
really get some comfort here. I need her to understand who she
is in me and start breaking alignment with the lies that she
picked up along the way. And so I was pretty resistant in that
first year of being in this program. Okay, so just know I'm
there. All right, I've been there. So wherever you're at,
whether you're, you know, you just stepped in, and you're not
quite yet dating yet, or you're, you know, you're some
emotions and some feelings are surfacing, because you're
thinking about it, you're scared to start a dating, there's some
discouragement, you're dating, and then some of these guys are
just like, giving you the heebie-jeebies wherever you're
at. Take these feelings and these emotional responses, and
allow them to be invitations. Okay. All right. I'm definitely
coming up on time. I think I'm hitting at like, 30 minutes. So
I went a little bit over. So I'm going to close out with this
truth. Rejection is not your identity. Pain is not your
identity. Discomfort is not your identity. They're experiences
and not definitions. God is not speaking your worth through what
hurts you. He is forming you through what surfaces. You are
not what you feel. But you are who he says you are. Okay. So
I'm going to open the floor up to your questions. I do have an
activation for you ladies this week. I will probably
hardstop us at 1.30. Well, it'll be 2.30 Eastern. I'm in
central time. That's why I'm saying 1.30. And then, so
actually, I'll hardstop us at 2.25. So do you want me to get
the activation first? Okay, let me do that. And then we'll open
it up. And then we'll still hardstop though. And then I'll
post it in the app as well. I'll just literally I'll give
you the whole thing. So if you haven't done the clarity
challenge, I definitely encourage you to do that and
post it. Again, sharing our wins, and what we reveal will
help others as well. That's why this program and this community
really does work. I mean, it's why I share my walk with y'all.
I share it because when people share with me, it helped me get
breakthrough. And so I know if I got breakthrough, and if I can
share that with you all I want like I want to give that to you.
Okay, so it's going to our activation this week, okay, is
seeing yourself through God's eyes. Okay. And so I wanted to
be I wanted to give you ladies, especially ladies that are very
creative. The opportunity to be creative, however you want it.
So I've given you some ideas. But if you if you're creative,
you're if you're creative mind, I want you to be able to take
this wherever you want to. Okay. So this week, you're going to
literally just practice seeing yourself the way God sees you
and not the way that your emotions are describing you. You
know, because feelings are real, but they're not our identity. So
instead of trying to figure yourself out, you're simply
going to notice moments where your emotions are trying to
speak louder than truth. So I want you to take notice of when
you're when you're when you're like, Oh, I feel rejected, I
feel unseen, I feel anxious. And I want you to gently remind
yourself, this is a feeling this is not my identity. I want you
to start recognizing and having the awareness of what you're
feeling. And when you start recognizing those feelings, I
want you to stop yourself and remind yourself that it is just
a feeling. It's not your identity. So now this is where
the creative expression gets comes in. Okay, so you don't
have to do
Everything on this list, you can choose one or you can come up with your own.
First option is a musical reflection.
You can pick a song that reflects who you are becoming in God, not what you feel in
the moment.
Okay?
You just post the song title and the artist and then like, you know, this reminds me that
God sees me as whatever, bold, strong, powerful, cherished, royalty, okay?
Second one, second option, okay, so a song, a song that just you really feel like this
is my anthem.
This is who I am, all right?
So that way sometimes when you're in your feeling, you just go play that song.
I'm a song person, like song, like music is my jam, okay?
So that's why that's, that's why that's a first option.
That's my create, my creative mind, okay?
But I know that's not everybody's.
So second option is a story reflection.
So I want you to think of maybe a character from a book, a movie, Bible story, that, or
show, like TV show, and it reflects something beautiful, strong, or redeeming in you.
Share with us that character, what you admire or relate to, and this shows me that God is
growing me in whatever.
I know with some people, God speaks, God speaks through movies in some people, and
so that might, this might be a good one for you, okay?
Third option, you can do a personal truth statement, okay?
Maybe you're just very in touch with writing and words, and this is just gonna be, you're
gonna write a simple identity statement that you feel God is forming in you right now.
So some examples, God sees me as steady and not scattered.
I'm becoming secure and not striving.
I am loved without earning it.
You can post your own version of however you want to do that, or like I said, you can create
your own.
So like a quote, a journal reflection, a verse, a voice note, in, like however you want to
get creative.
Literally, I, whatever comes on your heart, do it, okay?
So you're not being asked to perform this week, alright?
You're just being invited to notice.
Notice your feelings and notice, hey, these are my feelings, not my identity, this is
my identity, okay?
Notice when your emotions speak louder than the truth, and then just return to your identity
that's steady, loved, and secured in Him, okay?
How's that sound?
Sound good?
Okay, alright, let's take your questions, all the good things, all the updates, all
the good stuff.
Okay, good.
Laura, I see your hand too, I'm going to take Sarah Shell, I think Sarah Muhlenberg,
she's also had her hand up, so, because Laura, she has, I want to hear your update, but Sarah
Shell, I think you had your hand up first, and then the other Sarah, and then we'll take
Laura, and then anybody else, go ahead and pop your hands up, put some stuff in the chat.
We've got Peggy, she just put her hand up, okay?
We're going to hard stop at, it'll be 2.30, right, 1.30 my time, alright, Sarah Shell,
how are you?
I'm good, super quick, have you ever gotten a response back from the team, in regards
to the question that I asked months ago, and I still have not gotten a, no, yeah, I'm,
I was told that we were, they were supposed to be fixing our admin replies, and I keep
checking in my settings, and it just, nothing is back, okay, so, my apologies, okay, sorry,
but just keep posting, that's why I don't post, I mean, because all my other posts,
they all disappeared, as you know, when the app got changed, so everything got, I don't
like, you know.
Yeah, definitely post, because I don't want that to discourage you from posting at all.
all to get feedback?
Well, it's not just that, it's so cumbersome
to try to then find what people have, you know,
and it's like, I'm not a big social media person
and anything that resonates like that,
like a Facebook, whatever, I just don't go with that.
You know, it's like, if it takes me 20 minutes to find,
why?
So, now, and ladies that are on here and you can chime in,
what I have noticed is when I post something,
so if I'm the one that's posted something
and someone comments on it, I do get the notifications now
if I've posted it.
Yeah, but what doesn't happen is if I respond to your post,
you post somebody, or let's say Patty posts something
and I post like an encouragement or whatever,
or like a question to try to have a conversation,
I never get a notification if she responds back.
So, there's like difficult to get the conversation going.
Now, a lot of ladies have been tagging myself
and Ebony in post and I do get notifications
when they tag me.
So, I would encourage, start tagging people.
So, can we practice tagging people when we're responding?
Yeah, I mean, I've done that too.
It's sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, you know?
Let's just get in the habit of doing it
and seeing this way, here's the thing,
the way that we can help the developers of the app
is if we are consistently doing something
and we are noticing sometimes it works
and sometimes it doesn't,
then we get to turn in a ticket and say,
hey, I've been doing this and it works sometimes
and not all the time.
Then they get to go into that system
and they get to go look at why is it working sometimes
and why is it not working all the time?
And then that helps them track and figure out why
and hopefully helps them get to the solution faster.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Yeah, I know, because I've had to send lots of tickets in
and I get it.
It can be sometimes like, you know,
but the more detailed that I can be in my tickets to them
and the more consistent I can be
and the more detailed I can be with them,
it really, really does, then they can't avoid it.
I'm being clear.
And then the more of us that are sending
those similar issues in,
they're gonna see like, oh, this is a problem
because a lot of people are struggling with this.
Then it goes to the top of the line.
So when we're not saying something
and we're not doing something,
that's why it doesn't get fixed in a timely manner
because to them, they don't think it's a problem
because none of us are saying anything.
Does that make sense?
Mm-hmm.
This is why sometimes like, I know,
like I'm one of those people that I don't like to complain
or draw attention to something that's like not working
because I have this,
people think that I'm always negative or critical.
Like this is just, again,
a lie that the enemy has placed in me
where I'm like, oh, don't say anything
because then people are gonna label you as being critical
and judgmental.
And it's like, no, I'm trying to be helpful.
I can do it in a kind way.
It's how I present it.
Mm-hmm, I get it.
Worked with me through the years of,
okay, you don't have to be critical.
You can be helpful and this is how you can do it softly.
So that's my advice.
It bothers me because I used to be a programmer
and I used to like literally program
so that you couldn't break it.
Then I would literally give it to people and say,
break it in a beta test,
like do everything you can to break this sucker.
And I'm gonna figure out how not to.
Versus, hey, let's put it upon all these people
and then let them get frustrated.
That's how Microsoft does things
with all their updates, you know?
I hated that.
That's like low standard, not kingdom thinking.
And I'm like, so it's one of those-
Oh, my girl, I get you.
That's what it's like, OK, Lord, what
is it that you're trying to teach me in this moment?
It's like, Lord, uproot this sucker, because I hate that.
And then I just don't engage with it.
Well, I want to challenge you to engage with it a little bit.
Well, I've got multiple groups that I'm a part of,
so it's like, you know, when one of them doesn't work,
it's like, bye, OK, let's go to this one.
I'm not here to fix your problems.
Yeah, and sometimes God is showing us that, too.
I'm like, OK, how important is this, right?
I got you.
I was just looking for the list from my question from months
ago, you know, to.
Girl, I appreciate you.
You're so patient, and you give us so much grace.
I just keep moving on.
I just keep, OK.
I appreciate you.
My God, if they won't answer it, where can I go get the answer?
Oh, love you, love you, love you.
OK, sorry.
You're good, you're good.
All right, Laura, I see Sarah, the other Sarah,
I don't see your hand up anymore.
Did you still have a question?
I do, if I could ask you, if I could follow up
with you from last week.
Yes, go for it.
Laura, and then Peggy.
OK.
So I'm already feeling kind of emotional
as I'm preparing to chat about it,
because I think it is kind of like, I just feel like,
when I was talking to you, I kind of
wanted to put the blame on my parents,
but I think it was more on my dad.
But I think it's more of a people-pleasing thing
that I struggle with.
And then I think it's also a laziness thing,
where it's like, well, this guy likes me,
and I'm just, you know, he's not healthy.
He hasn't gone about it in a healthy way.
Our communication has been pretty crappy.
But I can default to him, and he likes me.
I don't have to do much work.
I kind of take him the lazy route.
But I mean, he hasn't even asked me out on a date
or anything like that.
I mean, he hasn't even, we haven't defined anything.
I was telling you, we barely talk.
So I think I've been thinking about this week,
and I think it's more of a people-pleasing thing
that I struggle with, you know, trying to please, I guess,
his brother, who is one of the lead pastors.
His sister-in-law is also a lead pastor.
Like, it's a whole, it's a small church and a family thing,
you know, in a lot of ways.
And so I think I want to please everybody.
But, you know, so and that's another question,
maybe for another day.
But like, how do I just, I feel like I'm stuck
in this people-pleasing place,
and especially in a small church,
and hearing you talk about identity.
And it's like, I get into these, you know, like things,
and it's like, I don't know how to be healthy.
Like, I'm finding that I struggle with identity,
and being in a small church setting,
I think really brings shortcomings to light.
So I'm gonna save some of my small church question
for you for another time.
But I just feel really bad about,
I just don't even know how I got in this place.
And it's just like, how did I get here?
And it's like, I was reading about it.
You know, as I'm reading about all these like things,
you know, and then I just somehow like,
shifted into this place where it's like,
I like the negative attention, and I like,
and I've been feeding off of it.
And I got to a point where I tried to nip it in the bud,
but then I like turned back to getting it.
And I just hate that I like slowly shifted
and gotten into this place.
And I just, I guess I'm just like frustrated with myself.
And then I just really don't even know
how to find my way out of it.
I'm a people pleaser, and the negative attention,
and the not negative per se,
but just unhealthy intention.
You know, it's like, it's attention.
There's so much that resonates here.
There's, oh my gosh, there's so many things
that like literally that's downloading to me right now.
Yeah, and I don't, I mean, I guess I just want to like,
not, and I don't know,
do I need to stop going to that church type thing?
Like, is it just such an unhealthy setting,
but my mom loves it there and I take her.
And I know that's honestly for you to answer,
but it's like, I really do struggle with people pleasing.
And I just, I see it on so many levels
that it's like, I just feel so unhealthy.
I, and I just like, like, I want a relationship so bad, but
that one would be so fake. And so like, there was a time where
it could have been real, but we never, we stopped being real at
some point. And it's all put on. It's all just a show. You know
what I mean? And it's like, I just want something real. But I
feel like I'm so it's just so, you know, and I don't know if
it's redeemable or not. But my guess is not okay.
I'm just gonna I'm just I want Holy Spirit to speak through me
because I just I just feel this does like this. Giving you
encouragement is really what I'm sensing right now. Like I want
I really just believe that the Lord wants you to feel
encouraged. Thank you. And so yes, it's redeemable. I want you
to focus on the fact that you have some awareness right now.
Okay, I want you to want you to pay attention to what you are
believing about yourself. Okay? Is it positive or negative? Okay,
because I'm hearing I'm hearing a lot of condemnation. I'm not
hearing a lot of shame. And that's not from your Heavenly
Father. You've got this awareness of, you know, where
this is coming from, which is good. Okay, it's recognizing,
okay, where did this first get planted? When did this seed get
planted? And it's not just sit there and put blame. But it's
also not there to sit there and say, it was okay for them. It
that it was okay for, you know, if this is tied to your your
parents, and your mother, your father, you know, it, it really
is for us to recognize, oh, this is where it started. It's not
saying it's okay, that it that they did that. But it's also
helpful for us to recognize our part in it. Not that it's our
faults. So don't hear that like, what happens to us is not our
faults, how we respond to it, we can definitely shift out of how
we carry it, then does become our responsibility. So it's
recognizing, okay, this happened to me because of this. Now, this
is how I've allowed it to shape my identity. But remember,
that's not who got like, God doesn't, doesn't put
condemnation on us and shame. So then it's going and replacing
that lie with, what does he say about us? Who am I? And so I
think you even recognizing, wow, I've got this, this thing where
I just want to please everybody, like, Lord, Holy Spirit, show me,
show me where that's from. What do you say about me, Lord? I can
sit in this moment and I can say, I don't need to please
anybody right now, because I'm already chosen by you. Lord, I
get to come to you. You get to help me in the direction that I
go. And you know, you ask the question, like, do I need to
stop going to this church? And you know, and you're like, and
you're right, I can't make that choice. Yeah, I can't. That's
the choice that you get. You go to God. And you ask, Holy
Spirit, what would you have me do? You want what's best for me.
What would you have me do? And here's the thing, sometimes
ladies, sometimes the Holy Spirit's gonna say, here, this
is what I want you to do. And then there's times I don't know
about y'all, but there's some times I've asked the Lord, and
the Lord's like, well, honey, I've given you free will, you
get to choose. And we like, and I'm like, and so, because here's
the thing no matter what you choose is not going to necessarily matter if you
don't get to the root of the people-pleasing yeah don't work on
healing from the people-pleasing yeah that's the invitation God is inviting
you in yeah I definitely feel that it's it's it's it's finding out okay what
label did I give myself what's my responsibility in this and again when I
say that ladies I really want you to sit with that if when I say or anyone says
what's your responsibility in that if there is a like hit of shame guilt
condemnation I want you to start I want you to I want you to dig there not dig
dig dig but I want you to spend time with Holy Spirit like I know that's not
you God that's revealing something where does that come from where does
that shame come from what's that remind you of where did you get where was the
first time you felt that shame that condemnation that you you had to perform
that you had to do something because it wasn't good enough for somebody get to
that that's where you start breaking agreement and alignment with those lies
and then you've come into alignment with what God says about you okay thank you
okay things already coming to mind I appreciate it good awesome thank you for
being vulnerable thank you like ladies I just I want you to I want that to
incur it like Sarah coming and just being open and honest and vulnerable and
real like there is nothing more powerful than honesty and vulnerability that
connection that we have here is so important to our healing
so important
so thank you so so much Laura I want to hear about Wade I want to know how your
date went and it went really well um yeah and I pushed through my fear and
resistance and I brought up the conversation I'm like well I'm gonna
order first because then I have to stay here and wait for my food and then have
this conversation because then otherwise I'm like if the conversation
doesn't go well I'm just gonna bail whatever so so that's what I did and
yeah so I my heart was like even now just talking about my heart's like
pounding like a mile a minute but um anyhow and yeah I just said that I
needed to ask him something and he was like very receptive he's like oh yeah
what do you need to ask me or whatever and so like I was like um I need to
explain like my intentions in dating that like my intentions are to like move
a relationship towards marriage and I'd like preface it with like I'm not
understanding that you and I are necessarily intended to like marry each
other but I just wanted to know like what your intentions are in dating as
well and he was very like sweet and he like said that like yeah he his
intentions on dating are also towards marriage and yeah that he he doesn't
just date like haphazard and I think this is like his first time dating in
like eight years since his divorce we both got divorced about the same time
which I'm realizing so he said that okay this is the first time I've dated and
since my divorce and he didn't in so many words but he said when his kids
were younger after the divorce that he just wanted to focus time on being there
for his kids and supporting them okay yeah his daughter turned 25 like a week
ago or something and then his son is 21 so his daughter's like two years older
than my daughter she's 23 and then my son will be 21 in September so um yeah
like I
I was relieved to, to finally like have the courage and confidence to have that
conversation.
I still sometimes like wonder, even though like, I mean, cause we only like
maybe date like once a week and we don't like really like, um, even though like
he called me prior to like our date on Saturday to like, um, to like ask me
like to dinner or whatever.
And we, we have no problems like talking.
We talked on the phone for like at least an hour, like, um, and then like at
dinner, we were like the last ones to leave the restaurant, we were literally
there for like three hours.
Um, so we like definitely have like connection and are able to like talk
freely and whatever.
I just, um, still question if I'm attracted to him or whatever.
And then my mind goes to like, am I just trying to like protect myself from
getting hurt again?
And so like my brain goes to like, oh, well this is kind of unsafe cause I
hadn't dated in like 30 years, whatever.
And so, um, and then my brain also goes to like, well, he's the first guy that I
have dated since like dating the ex, like in the early nineties who I did marry
whatever.
And so then I'm like, oh, I really doubt that this is really like my person per
se, whatever.
Um, I mean, I, I don't know.
I mean, I can't like read the future and whatever.
And, um, but I am continuing to like follow, like it is a yes until it's a no.
And he is like a very sweet man.
Yeah.
So what we were talking about last week and then even what, you know, we went
through today, I think that's going to be really helpful just to kind of sit with
some of those notes and really sit and process through that again, just reminding
yourself, like these are just feelings.
I don't have to decide anything right now.
And so when those feelings are surfacing, it's learning, okay, what I'm feeling
this, this is not my identity.
Am I attaching it to my identity?
And then is it surfacing?
Are these emotions being tied to things from the past that I'm now sitting here
trying to assign my feelings to it being fact?
Does that make sense?
Well, yeah.
Cause like, I'm always like on like guard, just like a certain degree that like,
I'm like, Oh, is he being like trustworthy?
Is he being honest and upfront with me about things?
And cause I found out like five, five years into my marriage that like the ex
was addicted to porn and that was like a huge external marriage for like many years.
And so, yeah, I'm not willing to like deal with that, like again, or like
really like any kind of addiction.
So,
well, and that's why I think it's what it sounds like.
This is moving.
Like you said, you, you're only really dating once a week and you're like
having maybe one phone call prior to the date, the connections there.
You guys are talking a lot.
There's something there, but you see how it's not, it's not rushed.
Right.
It's, it's being paced because now you get to sit here and you get to take in the
information and you get to process through it.
Like you don't have to make a decision quickly.
Which, yeah, I mean, cause this is like so different than like what
happened between me and ex.
And so like, sometimes I wonder, I'm like, is it going like way too slow or
whatever?
And, um,
when those moments come up where you're like, where there's that fear of, I don't
know if I'm attracted.
I don't know if I'm, I'm safe yet.
All that remind yourself, like I get to, I get to take time here.
I'm okay.
God is, God is the one pacing this.
Right.
He's going to show me what I need to know when I need to know it and sit like,
what's, what, what's the feeling and emotion behind sitting with the not
knowing and putting your trust and faith in God to reveal to you what you need to
know when you need to know it.
I mean, to a certain degree, it's like, it's relief that I don't need to like,
cause I tend to be a planner.
Like when we go on vacation, I plan everything to like, like all the details
or book the flights and where we're staying and all that stuff, whatever.
I'm a big planner.
So.
This is that moment of structure for you.
Yeah, to kind of leave things.
Because you can't plan for it because you don't really
know what this is yet.
And that's OK.
Yeah, I mean, I did take initiative a week ago.
And I think I, did I text him?
I can't remember.
But I was, because the other three dates or whatever,
he's the one that initiated things or whatever.
And I was the one that suggested what
we do on that third date and whatever.
And he was all for it, whatever.
And you know what, it sounds like, yeah,
if he was not dating when his kids were younger,
it's probably learning.
And he's probably having to kind of walk
through that process too.
And it's having that patience with him as well.
And as you two get to know each other and communicate,
trust in the fact that if whatever
God wants to reveal through this connection,
there is a growth there.
There's something that you're going to learn
and get to heal from.
And then he's probably going to heal from.
And God will expose that.
God will bring that to light in his timing.
And I want you to trust in that.
Yeah, and then I have another question.
It's like, we haven't held hands.
We haven't hugged.
We haven't kissed.
Nothing.
And no physical contact.
Do I need to say anything about that?
Because sometimes, I don't know if it seems awkward for him.
Or I don't know, but he hasn't said anything or whatever.
He hasn't tried to kiss me or hold my hand or anything.
That was your fourth date, right?
Yeah.
And this is over the course of a month, two months?
Yeah, we've had about a date a week for the past four weeks.
I was going to say, he might be, you know what?
This is reminding.
I don't know if you, because I know you were at the retreat.
I don't know if we talked about, not Bethany Cooper,
but there's another Bethany that was in our community
who was dating someone.
And he had gotten out of a relationship.
And he was kind of slow moving.
And we didn't know, OK, where did he stand?
And she's like, eh, I don't even know how I feel about him.
He's enjoyable.
We have fun.
We can connect.
He likes spending time with her.
But there was no, there weren't the sparks kind of thing
for either of them.
But there was just a friendship connection there,
like just a healing get to know you.
And that's kind of what it reminds me.
And I remember Jackie always just being like,
he needed time.
And I remember her sharing with Bethany.
Her name was Bethany Oliver.
And she's in our community still.
She's in phase three.
And she helps coach as well.
So when you move to phase three, you'll see her.
And she'll share her story.
She's wonderful.
She's amazing.
It was really important for her in that process
too to allow him to lead.
Because it was-
Yeah, that's what I'm like.
I guess he'll ask me about it eventually.
Yeah, I was going to say, right now,
with him only four days in a month,
I think you're good just to spend time getting
to know him and enjoy him.
And then if you feel led to, if someone asks you out,
you're welcome to go out and meet other people.
You're not tied to that right now.
You're not tied to-
Well, yeah, that's why I'm trying to expand
my pool of dating people or whatever.
Because right now, I just have been dating him.
And I looked yesterday, because I'm not on apps or whatever,
some meet-up groups that I might want to go to or something.
And I don't know.
Meet up there, have fun.
Go to meet-up groups.
Go enjoy life.
Right.
But I am getting texts from him and whatever.
And he's part of my Rotary Club.
And he had texted me yesterday morning
that he wasn't going to be able to come to our meeting
that we have on Mondays.
me like have this work deadline or whatever. And I know I just
texted him like after the meeting that like, I'm missing
him or whatever. And he responded how he like missing me
too, and blah, blah, blah, and whatever. So it seems like,
I think it's gonna be that like, it's gonna it's, it's gonna just
be that kind of slow, like, he's, he's probably trying to
get comfortable as well. So I want you just to, and then also,
like I said, just sit in the discomfort of what are your
emotions? Like, what are your feelings? And are you tying them
to identity? Like, keep, keep focusing on your healing. And
then having fun. And just, yeah, letting him lead that. And then
we actually even mentioned because he likes to bike ride
and I do too. And this is when I always tell ladies like this is
important, like when you're getting to know people and all
that, like, this is when we want to continue to hear from you,
like keep posting up like, what conversations are what were you
guys like, what, what are y'all talking about how like, let us
know the details that will help tremendously and we can we can
help you through that process.
Yeah, so I'm like, I'm looking forward, we're supposed to go
like on a bike ride sometime, like in the near future or
something. So yeah,
I think this is good. I'm excited. I'm excited to see kind
of what unfolds.
Yeah, I mean, I'm glad that I finally like did start dating
because I was wondering like, if I ever would or whatever. So
but yeah, yeah.
But yeah, thank you. I don't feel like you need to be the
one to kind of like, like, just just sit back and enjoy it. Sit
back and just let things kind of unfold and just sit in that
process. And like, like, like you said, like, you're typically
the planner, I want you to sit on the you don't have to plan
everything. Right? Yeah, I feel uncomfortable. And I say that
because I'm a planner. So sometimes that is so hard for
me. I'm like,
well, yeah, cuz even like the last day, like for Saturday
evening, like he was asking me like, what I like to eat. And
like, I we had talked about like Mexican and we ended up going
to a Mexican restaurant. But I just he was he was looking for
like input from me. But I was like, Oh, like, well, you you
figure it out and let me know or whatever. And so like, I was
letting him like, take the lead in that figure it out. And yeah,
and then like, he came back to me with like a restaurant that I
really like. So I was like, Yeah, that sounds great.
Take me to your favorite place. I want to get to know you more.
Right? It's my favorite. What's your favorite? I want to learn
about you. Right? Yeah. reciprocation. And then you can
let them know, like, I appreciate how intentional you
are about, you know, wanting to, you know, learn what's, what's
my favorite and and take me out to my favorite places. And you
can tell them like, these are some of my favorite places.
These are things that I like. And then also mentioned them.
But I also would love to know what you like, and would be
open to going to some of your favorite places, too.
Yeah, because he did like initially mentioned like, a
seafood place. And I was like, I mean, I was like, somewhat open
to it. I don't really eat seafood. But usually most
seafood restaurants have like some other option for people
that don't or whatever. But yeah, he did end up like choosing
like the Mexican restaurant. And so I was like, Okay, whatever.
So yeah.
There you go. And then that's what I'm saying. You say, you
know what, we can always try a place that is one of your
favorites. Like, right? Yeah. Like, you know, like, that's
what I'm saying. Like, get like, I say, yeah, just let him kind
of take the lead. I think it's going well right now. I think
it's at a great pacing. I think it's helping you kind of get
comfortable and open it up to that the idea of dating and I
think it's gonna be good for you.
Well, yeah, and he's so supportive. Because like, I had
this issue with my car, I took it to the shop last week, and
then it like needs like my mechanic on this oil leak. And
so he even offered to like, loan me one of his cars because like
he bikes to work like most of the time and whatever. And I'm
like, that's okay, or whatever. And then like, I had an issue
with like, one of my cats yesterday, like I had to take
him to the vet. And he's like, Oh, because I'm going out of
town on Friday with my son for the weekend. And he's like, Oh,
I could take care of your cat if you need me to or whatever.
And so he's like, I don't care. But I told him that I did
appreciate the offer and whatever. So
all right, well, I'm gonna go I want to hard stop here soon. So
I but I want to give Peggy, he's our last hand raised. And then I
also see Beverly, Beverly, I responded to you in the app. So
definitely check that out. It's good to see you.
You have my faith girl. It's all yours. All right, Peggy. Yeah,
I want to make time for you. So what you got for me today?
Boy, um, you had so many good comments earlier. And I really
related to you talking about feeling hidden. And I had and I
kind of want you to give me again, when you said I am
anxious, what does that represent? I am anxious. What
have finished that? What is because that really hit me when
you said it.
Okay, so like when when we're feeling anxious, and kind of how
we're, we tie it to a, our identity instead of a feeling.
Okay. Um, is that what you mean?
I think so. I think so. There was just a word that you said,
that that that it represented. And I thought, boy, I've got to
follow up on that.
Yeah, let me let me kind of go through my notes is to kind of
help me rejog my memory, too. Because I feel like I talked
about it a couple times. Um, like, if I'm anxious, and I
like, I feel anxious, therefore, I'm unsafe. Or I don't know if
it was that.
Yeah, I'm not sure. Oh, listen, I'll just watch the replay. And
like, anxiety becomes like, I'm too much.
No, it wasn't that one. And then we sometimes shut down the push
and pull.
Yeah, it was something different. But that that's, I
mean, I have some notes. But again, like, I will often go
off my notes. Like I won't. Yeah, like, I just outline them
like I have an outline. And that's then I just kind of allow
the Holy Spirit just to whatever.
Yes, exactly. Well, that's what replays are good for.
Yep. That's why I love replays, too. Because sometimes I'm like,
you know, I have to go back. I mean, like, wow, I said
something that really resonated with me that I like, obviously,
it didn't come from me. Right? It's something that I needed to
hear from Holy Spirit. And I'm like, I need to go back and
listen to what was said, because that wasn't me. It was,
it was Holy Spirit needed. And it like, a lot of times what I
coach is some things that I need to hear. And I know Jackie says
the same things when she does Supernatural Saturday. She's
like, I'm not just saying this for y'all. Like, I have to
listen to myself.
Yes. Yeah. And she Yeah, exactly. Yep. Yeah. So it's
a replay. Now I'm gonna go watch the replay because I want to
know. That's all right. It must have been because if I can't
remember it, it had it had to be. Okay. Good. Yeah. All right,
ladies. It was such a pleasure as always. I will. I will go
ahead and post the activation in the group here once I get off so
that y'all have that. And then I look forward to seeing all
those again, if you haven't done the clarity challenge from last
week, definitely don't forget to do it. Like if you feel like to
do it, do it. I actually had a one on one session. And it was
really powerful that I was like, Oh, that's gonna be helpful for
someone else that's not even in phase two. She's she moved over
to phase three. And it's helping her as well. And so I
definitely think there's some some breakthrough that can
happen through that. And same thing with the one for this
week as well. But get creative, have fun with it. Start
recognizing what what you're feeling and how it's how you how
you're allowing those feelings to you know, form attachment to
your identity. Because that's not what emotions are for.
They're invitations for us to, you know, they're a signal,
they're an indication for something for us to grow and
learn and heal. But they are not. They are not deciding
factors of who we are. Our feelings are not our identity.
Our pain is not our identity. Okay. Keep that in mind. I hope
I didn't miss anything in the chat. I will quickly look over
that and see what's in there. But for now, ladies, have a
great rest of your day and I will see you all next week.
week. And yeah, don't be a stranger in the in the app. All
right.