Hi ladies. Welcome. Happy Monday. Hi Diana. So good to see some of you on tonight. I'm
sure we'll have more people join us as we go on. But I want to go ahead and get started
with just some of our housekeeping things. And hopefully you don't check out when I say
that because these are important parts and you just never know what's going to pop out
when I start doing housekeeping either. But for those of you that might be brand new to
this community, to this process, welcome. We're so glad that you're here. I'm going
to do another check-in regarding new people here in a little bit as more people log in.
But most importantly, no matter how long you've been in this community or this group, if you
have never done an introduction post, or even if you went through this program before and
you're back in the heartwork, I would love for you to do an introduction post and just
let everyone know a little bit about you. So what are some of your favorite things? You
know, if you're here for the first time, what led you to this community? And what are you
hoping to get out of the heartwork? Obviously, we think a lot of you come here because you're
looking for a spirit mate. You believe God has that for you. But some of you, there's other
things. But either way, whatever your story is, we would love for you to share that and a
favorite picture of yourself. You can be with other people if you want. You can be with your
animals. It can be just yourself. But something that you would enjoy to share with other
people that is a genuine picture of you that you love. I want to encourage you all to come on
screen with me. So Diana's here hanging out with me. I see Diana and would love some of you
all that are not on screen right now to come on screen with us. Hi, Natalie. Why do we do
this? We talked about this a lot. You guys are gonna get tired of hearing me talk about it, but
it's super important. We want you to practice being seen. Okay, on camera in life. Part of the
heartwork process part of the key of this is allowing yourself to be seen, known and loved and
to show up fully. Not just show up and be behind a camera screen. What would it be like I'm not
saying it wouldn't still be effective if my camera was off. But I do believe on some level, if my
camera's off, that creates disconnection a little bit. Not saying it can't be affected. Not saying
God can't use it. God can use anything he wants. We do prayer calls all the time, where sometimes
we can't pray. Sometimes we can't turn camera on all that kind of stuff. But I really believe
especially in the heartwork that you guys need to practice letting yourself be seen on screen. For
some of you, you're terrified to do online dating. So if you can't see yourself on this screen with
us with other ladies, you're gonna have an even harder time over there, you know, practicing that.
And so practice now come out of hiding. Don't worry about makeup and all of that kind of stuff. Just
show up. Just show up and be here and be here fully as much as you can. When I encourage you all to
join prayer calls as much as you can. If you're not sure when those are, ladies, one of the amazing
things about this app, sometimes our app is a little clunky, not gonna lie. But it's an improvement on
what we used to have. If you guys weren't here that many years ago, there are a lot of improvements.
And one of those is the events calendar. So when you're in the app, if you click on events, and then
you click on the calendar in there, you're going to see the different things that are available to you when
you're in phase one, some of which are the prayer calls and things like that. So Monday through
Thursday, women's only prayer from 10 to 11am. Faith Friday is basically we come and we give testimony.
It's a co-ed call, if men decide to come or able to come. And David Dorman typically leads that. Saturday
morning is supernatural Saturday, typically with Jackie, sometimes we do have to have other people
lead that. And then we do typically Sunday night activation, except for the last Sunday night of
the month, which is prophetic ministry night. So be looking at those things come to prayer,
even if you are at work, and you can't turn your camera on, or you can't talk, it's okay. I used to
literally I say this all the time, but I'm not saying this to pat myself on the back. It is
genuinely just what I felt led to do. And I hope that it encourages some of you. Sometimes I would
be at work, and I couldn't talk a prayer, but I would just write a prayer out. And then the prayer
leaders would read those out loud. And so our prayer leaders do try to do that, even if you
can't pray it out, that you can put it in the chat, and then we can try to grab those for you,
and be a voice for you in a sense. And definitely you all, as always, I'm going to always plug
Supernatural Saturday. This past Saturday,
And it was such a great reminder about what happens when we surrender,
what happens when we get out of the way and really trust the Lord with the process.
I didn't even know if you guys don't know the story yet, you will,
when you hear a supernatural Saturday, but I know Ralph and Diana
that Jackie talked about, I've met both of them.
And I, Ralph was like a brother to so many of us in this community and to
see their love story unfold and to hear now that they're moving back
to Austin, totally incredible.
If you all don't know my story, I said, I was never going to move.
I have two spiritual daughters.
That's what I call them in Lexington, Kentucky.
And I just did not have any plan or even want to remotely move away from them.
And Jackie just kept encouraging me to be open.
And, uh, lo and behold, God sent me someone from Indiana and originally
we were both open to moving.
And then God started speaking to me that I needed to move there because his mom
had just lost her husband like a year before.
And, uh, I just felt like God was saying Brian needed to be near
his mom for a little bit longer.
And then, um, you all not even, I think I moved there in, let
me think about this December of 21.
By June.
Yeah.
By June of 22, God moved Brian to a new place in Indiana, Tipton, which
was about an hour from his family.
And so that was kind of interesting after I had just moved closer.
And then just two years later, God led us to Florida.
So I want you to understand, you know, we don't have to know the whole story.
We don't know, have to know every step it's about trusting God
in the process and surrendering.
I want to encourage y'all to do that in the heart work too.
I know some of you, you think, you know, how you have to meet your spirit mate.
And you're like, if I don't believe this, it's not having faith y'all.
That's not true.
So, um, I responded to some posts in the last few days, really want to encourage
y'all to stay very open and teachable to what God wants to do in your life.
He writes the best love stories.
He writes the best, um, promise and plan for our lives.
And so what I mean by that is that you just would remain open to all of the
coaching, all of the teaching y'all.
We've been doing this for a while.
Do you know how many people I've coached at this point?
A lot.
We see some very similar things over and over and over and people that don't have
teachable hearts or like myself, I wasn't willing to move no matter how many times
in the beginning, Jackie told me be open, be open.
I'm like, nope, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
And then one day God was just kind of working in my heart and he was showing me.
I was being resistant to him.
It wasn't being resistant to Jackie and the coaching.
I was being resistant to him.
And so I want to encourage you to really make sure you're okay.
Lord, what do you have for me?
And that you don't have to be 20 steps ahead.
You just need to walk with him today.
Okay.
All right.
Well, let me pray for us.
Father, thank you so much for this night.
Thank you for every lady that's here.
Everyone that's going to watch this replay.
Yes, Lord, you know, everything that needs to be said, Lord, I just thank you for a
fresh and filling of your spirit tonight.
God, that your presence would be among us, that you would bring things out of
darkness into the light that you would reveal areas for healing.
Help us to see what we can't see.
God, I pray that you would reveal broken areas of their hearts, Lord, where they
didn't even know there was brokenness.
Even someone this last week, I read a post where they didn't even know they
had mother wounds until that came up as a topic in the last few weeks.
So God, I ask you to heal these wounds that are being revealed, that are
surfacing, sometimes it can be painful.
God, we know that you are the great physician.
Nothing is too hard for you.
Your word declares that you will comfort the broken hearted and
those who are crushed in spirit.
God, even the pain of the past that it was just so overwhelming for us to deal
with God, would you go into the little girl versions of who we are and who we
were, would you go back there and heal those places?
God, we thank you that you're, you're, you're just so good.
You're so loving.
You're so kind.
God, we ask you to hug the little girl and every woman tonight in a supernatural way.
God help them to feel your embrace.
And we just thank you in advance for everything that you're going to do tonight
and in the days to come in Jesus name.
Amen.
Welcome to everyone else that has logged on since we started talking.
If you can come on screen tonight, we would love to see you.
Um, anybody new for your first time tonight, you've never logged in for
a live session before tonight.
We'd love to see you, uh, say hi to us in the chat so we can welcome you everyone.
Coming back. Welcome back. Hi, Sarah, I see some other faces have come on screen. Alina,
Cherish, Arlene, Aylin. I'm welcoming everybody. Isabel, even people that aren't on screen. Roseanne,
love you guys. So glad everybody is here. Just taking a few moments just to try to recognize
a couple people. Tonight we're talking about the broken heart. Okay, so we're not talking about the
heart in general. We're going to talk about the broken heart and how the broken heart tends to
lead us astray. As you guys go through the heart work, you're going to learn a lot about what we
call counterfeit identities. A counterfeit identity, several, I'm sure of it, years ago led
me to marry someone that was massively abusive and then date several other people after that
that were also very abusive. The men that I attracted and dated often have very similar
things about them. Alcoholics, addictions, you know, betrayal, those kind of things.
Hi, welcome. I don't know if she was saying hi to us, but that hi, God. Hi, everybody.
But anyways, I just want you guys to understand sometimes there's these similar threads to
who we attract, and it's often because it's stuff that we can't even see or we don't know
that we still need healing from. And at the core was all the abuse stuff, okay? And at the core of
that was that I didn't really value myself the way I should have because I didn't really know how to.
It was that I didn't know my true identity. And so if we don't know those things, we're going to
struggle to attract healthy people. All right, so tonight, the goal isn't to have everything done,
but it is to take one step further into a healthy version of yourself. The fullness of who God
originally created you to be. What we would love for all of you is that, you know, the original
who God created you to be and who you are tonight to continue to converge where you lose a little
bit more of those counterfeit identities and you rediscover in a fresh way who God originally
called you to be. So remember that trauma doesn't just hurt us. It creates different versions of us.
So that's where the counterfeit identities come from. One of the trickiest things I remember
when I first started learning this and I was like, so the real me didn't pick those people.
So was I being like when, when I thought God was talking to me, was I just not hearing God right?
Like, how does that all work? Well, here's the reality is that we hear God to the best of our
ability right now. But if I learned something new about God's character, about God's plan for me,
about who he originally created me to be tomorrow, well, wouldn't I hear differently tomorrow?
Because I have a new revelation at that point. So I want you to understand, you know, let's extend
a lot of grace to yourselves. You can't know what you don't know. And in the past, I didn't know what
I didn't know until I knew it. And so as I gained new revelation and new knowledge about who God was,
about who he called me to be, and you know, I did my best, like I was leading people and I was being
my genuine self. I wasn't being someone fake. But I still had this brokenness stuff in my subconscious
that God was trying to help me heal from so that I could actually walk in true freedom, not partial,
not limited. And again, I was living to the best of my ability to the fullness of who I was.
But there were these times where I still would hold parts of myself back, not intentionally.
Again, this is subconscious stuff. So what I want you all to understand tonight is that it's not like
the mistakes that we make, like Paul talks about, why do I do the things I don't want to do?
Well, a lot of times it's because we have these subconscious things, and areas of temptation,
and things that hold us back from being the true version, again, of who God created us to be.
So I want you to be thinking about tonight, and you can jot stuff down on your paper or in your
phone as you think of it, but what is your broken heart leading you into right now that's not a part
of your true identity? And maybe you don't know what your true identity is yet, and that's okay,
but you're starting to learn. Some of you, I saw some awesome posts, some of you all,
Kaylee, I was just like, my heart was bursting for you today. I don't know if she's on live tonight.
I can just tell by the things she's writing.
If you guys go in the group and cheer your sisters on, she had two different
posts where there was flowers, but both of them were, you could just tell she's
starting to experience something new.
But the one post in particular, she said she went on this walk and she
started seeing God in his beauty.
And you know what, ladies, that is when I can tell that someone's
heart is starting to awaken.
We start to see something that was there before, and we would think it was pretty
before, but then all of a sudden it's like a little kid with fresh eyes.
Like you're like, Oh my gosh.
And it's like this awe and this wonder that awakens and comes alive.
And, and you all, that is a genuine, amazing experience.
And if you haven't had that happen yet, I believe that it will for you.
I don't want you to get discouraged if you haven't experienced that it's coming.
All right.
So I want you to think about what is your broken heart leading you into right now.
That's not a part of your true identity.
The identity that God gave you when he initially created you before wounds
or trauma ever entered your life.
All right.
So I'm going to read a couple things for you.
Uh, this is from the heart work book.
I am not going to tell you what page, cause your page is going to be different
than mine, but it's from chapter six called flies, lies, and counterfeit lives.
I'm not going to read the whole thing, but a couple things from it.
These lies might not become evident.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm going to back up.
We're going to talk about the Lord of the flies really quick.
Jackie talks about that, you know, and how flies serve this purpose
and the decomposition process.
What flies do is they find an unhealed wound, a sore or some place of
decomposition, and they lay their eggs in that place.
So the way I want you to think about this is the enemy.
He's looking for that in road, if you will.
He's looking for the place in us where we have trauma and wounds, the decomposing
areas, okay, because that's where he's looking to plant the lies.
And he does this immediately when trauma happens.
And then he will continue to try to plant those seeds over and over and over.
Anytime something similar happens where we relate it like, oh, the same thing is
happening again, even subconsciously.
And we're like, the enemy is like trying to tell us, yep, God's a liar.
God's not a protector.
God isn't there for you.
And every time we partner with that lie, again, it's just kind of like, that's
when the flies are kind of increasing, if you will, and expanding.
So they've, they lay their eggs in those decomp, uh, decomposing areas and, and
they do this so that when these eggs hatch, when the larvae are there, they
have an unlimited food source.
So I want you to think about like, even from the perspective of the wounds and
trauma in your life, the enemy plants lies in there because it has that unlimited
food source until we bring the light into those places in Jesus name.
Jesus is the light of the world.
When he comes in, we invite him into those areas as they get
revealed and he brings light.
Y'all darkness cannot coexist with light.
So as soon as we, these things are revealed and we bring those into the
light, the enemy will start to lose his power in those areas.
Sometimes y'all does take more time than others, depending on how
deep the lie is that you believe.
I'm not going to go into it tonight, but that often is a representation of when
you read in the Bible about strongholds.
So that's why some of you, you're like, man, am I ever going to break free from
this thing?
Some of you, that's also because it's not just your wound and the lies you've
been believing, but it's a generational thing that's gotten passed down.
Now, some people get super hyper-focused on the generational
curses, is what it's called in the Bible.
In our community, we try to get you to focus on the opposite of that as well,
because there's generational blessings.
So get this, as you get set free, this is can create generational blessings
upon blessings, and you also are already reaping generational blessings.
If people in your family line, love the Lord, serve the Lord, prayed,
interceded, any of those things.
So I don't want you all to be afraid because God is always on the move and
we can partner with that.
So let's think, let's go back to these unhealed heart wounds and these
traumas, these rejections that we've experienced.
Those become ideal places again for the enemy to sow his seeds.
Anything that gets into those places, into the deep core of our heart is
going to get reproduced.
So if we believe a lot of negative things about ourselves, about other
people, about God, and that's what's in our heart, that's what's going to
get reproduced.
Lies might not become evident immediately, and a lot of times we're going to do the revealing
for healing cycle next week, so just so you know, if you're wondering and need more help
with that, we are going to do that next week.
But sometimes people get frustrated because they don't know what the lie is, and they're
like, I don't know what the lie is.
Well, it's okay, just know that eventually it's going to get revealed, and God isn't
holding out on you, it's not like He's not trying to tell you.
But sometimes, again, even God is trying to speak to us, but we can't hear yet.
Doesn't mean we're never going to, it just means that something is blocking us from receiving
the understanding, not just that revelation, understanding, okay?
Yes, I love the word yet, Amy, you guys will hear me say that about all kinds of stuff.
If you can partner with yet, it hasn't happened yet, that doesn't mean it's not going to,
it just means it hasn't happened yet.
It's going to really serve you tremendously in your journey.
Alright, so the seeds that get in there, remember, well, they're seeds, so again, anything that
is sown into the ground is going to be reproduced.
So I want you to think about some of you have gone through abandonment in your home, father
left household, maybe that didn't happen for some of you, maybe it was something different,
but I'm just going to use this as an example because it's in the book.
Your father left the household and abandoned his responsibility towards you.
Keep in mind, abandonment doesn't have to be physical, it can also be emotional, it
can be spiritual or financial.
While that would be a terrible thing to happen to any of us, the trauma doesn't even have
to happen to us personally.
It might have been, you know, something that happened to our grandpa or our great-grandfather
that like his dad abandoned the family, but because it affected our mother or our father,
they may have unconsciously passed those lies down to us.
So this is how we inherit emotional debt and heart wounds from our families.
Super important for you all to be aware of that.
We don't have to go seek a bunch of stuff out, again, this is about God revealing things
for healing, but I just want you guys to hear this stuff so that the Lord can continue to
connect dots for you.
Even things like, you know, just be praying about like, God, are there things that I heard
my mom or my dad say or even my siblings that I believe today that are not your word, that
are not true, that are not anything like you?
And just see what God starts showing you.
But whether it's first-hand trauma or second-hand trauma, whether it's the event itself, no
matter what, the reality is, is that when God reveals the lies, we can get to the root
of that, and these things can be healed, and God can bring restoration.
But I want you to think about a couple of these.
A lot of people that have fatherless homes or a dad that was there, but he was absent,
because a dad can be in the home and still be absent.
A mom can still be in the home and be absent.
My mom was really depressed when I was young.
I remember as a little girl making trays with food and flowers, taking them up, trying to
cheer her up because she wouldn't get out of bed.
And I mean, I was pretty young doing that.
That's just one example.
I didn't know she was depressed, but I didn't really know as a young kid, oh, my mom's depressed.
I just knew my mom's not getting out of bed.
And I somehow knew, I had this knowing to try to cheer her up.
I don't even know how I knew that, you all, but see, that's how some things happen.
But I didn't know until I was an adult, like, oh, it's not normal for your mom to stay in
bed all day.
Now, my mom did go to work through the week, but on the weekends, she just didn't get out
of bed a lot.
So it's not like my mom abandoned all of her responsibility, but during the week, what
would happen is she would come home, and I think I told you guys this a little bit last
week or the week before, either one.
She would come home, and then she would just check out at night.
So again, she would be there, but she just was not available.
All right.
So these are things that we can tend to believe in those dynamics, and you all might believe
this from other situations too, but these are just a couple core ones.
I'm worthless.
Nobody loves me.
I'm not a priority.
It's my fault.
Hold on one second.
Men cannot be trusted.
Maybe for some of you in my case, I didn't believe my mom could be trusted, so I didn't
feel like I could trust women or men.
I had a lot of things I had to work through.
Okay, I'm going to close in the book with this. It says in the next page in this chapter, it says,
what you believe about yourself, you become. I'm going to also say that what we believe
about other people takes root in us and that's what's impacting as well what we believe about
ourselves. If some of you have been abused and you took that stuff in and you believed what
those people were saying to you, that's what's manifesting as you walk out your life. Proverbs
23 7, for as a person thinks in his heart, so is he. So what is your heart thinking about you
tonight? Not yesterday, not a week ago tonight. For some of you, you might be on that mountaintop
like I was saying, which is amazing if that's where you're at. But you know, today I want you
to even think about things that happened and were there any points where you started partnering with
things that were not true about you. All right, I'm going to keep going. Our broken heart is what
we call three different categories. It's a liar, it's a puzzle, it's a pretender. Again, this is
the broken heart. A liar, a puzzle, a pretender. I'm going to talk to you guys a little bit more
about what each one of those kind of represents. The liar, I kind of explained that already, it's
full of lies. So our broken heart tends to be full of lies. Our broken heart also as the puzzle, I
want you to actually imagine any puzzlers in here. Anybody else like puzzles? I like to ask this
question because I'm a puzzler. I put some Legos together last night. It makes my husband really
happy because he's a Lego guy. And he's out of town and he had bought me this Lego set and he'd
been wanting me to put it together. And I figured that would be a nice little surprise. I sent him
a shot of that. But in the same way, whether you Lego or you do puzzles of any kind, you kind of
know you dump the pieces out. Especially for puzzles, you dump those pieces out and it's just
all mixed up, right? Until you start to turn the pieces over. Maybe for some of you, you match it
by color, maybe you match it by shape and you start to figure it out. But a lot of times we have a
box, we have a picture to follow, don't we? Well, we don't have that with our hearts. And so when we
have this puzzle, this thing that's kind of all messed up from all the pain and there's all kinds
of brokenness in there and there's good things in there too and it just feels confusing and mixed up,
that's what we mean. The puzzle, the broken heart can be a puzzle. And sometimes it's going to tell
us that we want things that we don't even want. So for example, when I kept dating a guy that had
already cheated on me multiple times and the relationship was not going towards marriage,
I just kept waiting for the guy that I saw in the beginning to come back. I thought he was real. He
wasn't a real, he was a real guy, but he was not being genuine. And that person never came back
because that person really never existed. He was putting on a front in the beginning.
And so, you know, this is where sometimes we even will eat food when we don't even want it.
You know, there's a lot of different ways this can show up, but it's that mixed up chaotic
feeling where you also, some of you, what just came up in my spirit is when you feel like you
just never understand. I never understand. You're reading things, you're watching videos,
you're hearing people, but you just feel this mixed up confusion a lot. That is the broken
heart manifesting. I want you to know that the more your heart heals, the more that will start
to settle. Okay? It should. Now, I don't want you to think something's wrong with you if that's not
automatic. You know, we live in this, I talk about this in another session, but we live in this
microwave culture even faster than that now. I mean, shoot, we put stuff in AI and like within
seconds, it has stuff figured out for us. So how many times are we applying that method to our
healing process or to things we're trying to learn? And the enemy just wants us to be super hard on
ourselves because we just didn't get it in the second. You should already have this figured out
by now. No, you all, your heart healing is the most important part of who you are.
So why do we feel like we have to rush this thing?
Now, do I think it has to take forever? No, but I will tell you that heart healing is a journey. I
don't think that it's like this automatic destination. Now you guys will go through
the heart work. You're going to get some supernatural healing here. A hundred percent.
We believe that we pray for that for you.
And it's going to bring release for you in ways that you didn't even know that it could.
But even as you go, some of you guys are going to start to date in the next phases.
Some of you are going to make some friends.
And then you're going to see some new areas that you're like,
Oh, I didn't even know I had that issue in there.
You know, and that's how it should work.
As I stepped into being engaged, as I stepped further, you know, closer to getting married, after getting married.
I mean, there's just layers of healing that happened for us.
Okay, going back.
The broken heart is a liar.
It's a puzzle.
And then it's a pretender.
Some of the things we want you to be thinking about and praying about.
As a pretender, our heart often, like, leads us to put up masks.
Maybe it tells us we want expensive things.
Status.
Maybe it tells us, you know, we're okay when we're not really okay.
Or I don't need help from anybody.
Those are those are types of masks.
When we actually do need and want help.
But we put up walls for so long that we just convince ourselves that it's just easier doing it by ourselves.
A pretender also causes us to live below our true identity.
To actually, you know, partner with the lies and to hide behind those.
So I want you to be thinking about, you know, do you have to be the mask?
I'm going to go back to that.
Perfect mom.
Perfect daughter.
Perfect friend.
Perfect whatever.
Fill in the blank.
There are other masks that I believe as well.
Workaholic.
Now y'all, I believe.
I love to achieve things.
I love to do things for the Lord.
I enjoy having nice things.
This isn't about not having nice things.
So please don't think I'm talking about having a poverty mindset.
But I do think that sometimes people think that having a title and accomplishing certain types of things gives them a certain status.
And that they seek it out not just for sake of moving forward in things.
But there's this drive.
You know, when you're striving for something and you feel this like, not just like, oh, I want to accomplish something.
But there's something on the inside of you that is driving you to literally push yourself beyond your limits to try to accomplish something.
Because you think it's going to cause you to be accepted or loved or acknowledged in some kind of way that you need.
And you cannot be satisfied without it.
Those are the kind of things that I want you to be thinking about.
Because again, it's not bad for us to want degrees.
It's not bad for us to want to accomplish things, y'all.
But when that becomes the primary focus and then there's this inner drive, we accomplish one thing and then that still doesn't satisfy and we keep pushing.
To get mom or dad's attention, like, you know, as a little kid, we're like, look at me, look at me.
And we want that.
We want that acknowledgement.
Daddy, look.
Mommy, look.
Well, if that didn't get met in us, y'all, the reality is, is that is still in there.
And that manifests in these ways as well.
And you might not know that it's you doing that as a little girl on the inside of yourself.
Because sometimes we don't even recognize that that's the core of what's really going on when we're doing certain things.
So again, this is all about praying and asking God to give you revelation.
Jeremiah 17 verse 9 says this,
The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked who can know it.
Proverbs 4.23 in the ESV says,
So I want you to really remember your heart is impressionable.
Again, as I was saying, anything that's planted in there is going to get reproduced.
Well, anything going in there is also going to bring this impression upon it.
So our hearts are very capable of being easily impressed.
You know, so that when things come in, it can shift what we believe and think about ourselves and other people and about God.
All right, so I'm going to go through a couple lies.
I'm going to go through them really fast.
I put this together, I don't know, almost two years ago now.
And I have found it to be very effective to help people get some revelation.
Okay.
All right.
Are you hearing lies like, I'm going to go through seven different ones.
There's probably so many more you all, but these are, there's,
I'm going to tell you why I'm sharing these seven lies at the end of when I share them here.
Lie number one, you are insignificant.
You are insignificant.
The definition of being insignificant is not significant, lacking meaning, not even worth
considering unimportant.
Did anyone ever tell you that you weren't important?
Now maybe they didn't verbally say, hey Arlene, you're not important, but maybe their actions
or their lack of actions caused you to believe the lie that you were not important.
You were not, you guys might hear the flip side, you're not a priority, you're never
a priority for God.
You know, God blesses everybody else but you.
Y'all, those are all the same kind of underlying theme.
Lie number two, you don't matter, kind of partners with lie number one a lot.
So some of you have siblings that you believe your parent put first and still puts first
and so the enemy lies to you and says you don't matter, you're not a priority.
My mom went live on social media, not live, like not, she didn't go live on a video but
she put up a post, this is before she passed away, there's four of us, four kids, I have
two older brothers and an older sister and I'm technically the baby, and she put up a
post at one point about how my one brother was her favorite kid, legit you all, pretty
rough, was not a fun experience.
And some of the things that my mom wrote in that, you know, the reality is my mom was
believing lies and she was allowing that to drive her to do things like that that would
cause her kids to then be divided against each other.
Now, I knew enough to know that's what was going on but you better believe I stood up
for myself and said why would you do that?
You know, this is stuff, if we have stuff to deal with as a family, this is stuff you
deal with behind, you know, you don't put that stuff out there.
Anyways, my mom was not able to receive that, y'all, it didn't get better, it got worse.
Unfortunately, you know, I had a lot of that stuff before my mom passed away, the day that
she passed away was one of the first times in a long time that she told me she was really
proud of me and she like said all kinds of stuff to me about like, you know, things that
she believed for me, things that I really hadn't heard her say in many, many years.
So I want you to know like some of this stuff I'm saying is out of the things that I've
walked through and I know what it caused me to, like the lies that the enemy was presenting
to me when these things were happening.
Now yours might be different but I just, again, I'm using this hopefully to help you lean
into what happened in your life and what did it cause you to believe.
Lie number three, you should be seen and not heard.
You should be seen and not heard.
Now, people don't say this really out loud to their kids anymore.
Back in the day, that was something that actually was said a lot.
Now, now think of it this way though.
We do still say it.
And I don't want you guys to think I'm against cell phones, okay, when I say this, but when
we give a kid a phone or a device and we just tell them to be quiet, y'all it's the same
thing.
It's the same thing.
So we need to be aware of what we're doing and how our actions are speaking things to
people.
And then also what did people do that caused us to believe certain things that are still
harming us today?
Lie number four, you're not enough.
A lot of times two lies partner together.
You're not enough or you're too much.
They tend to hang out.
So for me, it was like sometimes I'd be fighting and warring against you're not enough, you're
not enough.
And then it would be like, you're too much, you're too much.
And too much would show up in all different kinds of ways.
Like you're too serious.
You're too, you're trying to be like, you're too spiritual and these people don't like
that.
And, you know, like even sometimes I have to fight against that regarding preaching
in church.
Like, you know, people don't want a woman, a woman preaching, you know, it just shows
up in all kinds of ways.
You're not enough would show up in like, okay, you're not, you know, getting good enough
grades.
You're not being a good enough wife.
You're not, you know, being a good enough mom, like just.
So many layers, even at work.
I think some of the posts I've seen from you all,
I know that there are some of you struggling with that.
Even though you're successful,
there's something deep inside still telling you
that you're not enough.
You haven't achieved enough.
Again, those very similar.
Line number five, your opinion doesn't matter.
This can manifest in a lot of different ways, ladies.
But for those of you that do not believe
that your voice matters,
somewhere underneath the surface,
you also believe that your opinion doesn't matter,
or the thoughts that you have,
or the experiences that you've been through do not matter.
Yeah.
So, what about if we shift that and really start believing?
I think more of you people,
sorry, I didn't mean it to be like that.
More of you ladies, I think would post in the group
if you believed that what you have to say matters.
I really do.
Some of you, again, I love you.
I know why some people are in this course
and we will never hear one thing from them.
And I want you to know it's okay, we understand.
But I also wanna invite you to come out of that place.
Because what you're saying matters.
Y'all, just simply like people that, you know,
we're coaching and we're helping you through stuff,
that when other people read what you're getting
breakthrough in or what you're processing,
it's helping them.
When other people are reading your wins
and the things you're experiencing, that's helping them.
It's all, it's all good stuff.
And God can work it all together for good.
Lie number six, you're always going to have to beg.
Maybe it doesn't come exactly like that.
But again, this is like, you know,
people that believe the lie
that God is just dangling a carrot and you just have to beg.
And if you're good enough, then I'll give it to you.
But then you just believe the lie
that you're never good enough.
So again, those kind of,
all these things are kind of hanging out together.
Here's lie number seven.
If they really knew me, they would not accept me,
love me, choose me.
I want you all to think about at the core,
are any of you currently believing
that a guy would not love you fully
and accept you and choose you
if he knew whatever your sin struggle is?
Some people believe that men won't choose them
because they have a kid.
And so they think they got to pick guys
that treat them like crap.
No, there are good men that will love your kids.
And I love to say it this way too.
You all, I haven't had a biological kid of my own yet.
But you better believe I have been able in every way
to love someone else's kids as my own.
Now that's my heart.
If that is who I am, God made me to be a mother.
I've never tried to take the place of their mother,
but I've absolutely loved them like they're mine.
And if God can enable me to do that,
don't you think God can enable a man to do the same thing?
Yes, he can.
My girls love Brian.
And they're so grateful for the example that he is.
Now they're older, but he's still an example to them
and they're still happy that he's here.
So if that has been stuff you've been believing,
I just want to kind of debunk all that.
And you're not counted out from having a really great guy
who's healthy, who loves the Lord,
who's marriage-minded, masculine, and mature
because you have a kid or you have some kind of struggle
that you've had in the past.
Okay?
So at the core of all these lies I've mentioned tonight,
every single one of these lies point to several things.
Doesn't mean you have all of these,
but in some way, shape, or form, at least from my experience,
they point to low self-esteem,
not understanding our value or our worth,
and then pauper or orphan mentalities.
And if you're not sure what those are,
we can kind of go into that more another time,
but those are basically like any kind of a belief system
that causes you to feel like you're limited.
Some of you believe you're stuck
and you're never going to be able to move forward.
Like you're here, but you just really even having
giving yourself permission to move forward.
Some of you have done the hard work
and you're like just not moving forward
even though God has said you can move forward.
I said orphan, pauper, like a P-A-U-P-E-R.
I know it's kind of hard to hear sometimes when I say it.
So like think of someone who believes they're a slave
or that they have nothing.
I don't know why this helps me,
but sometimes, I don't know if you guys remember the old,
this just came to my mind,
the old Robin Hood way back in the day.
For the younger ladies, you may not know,
but the one with Kevin Costner.
Y'all, I loved Kevin Costner.
I didn't love, love, you know,
but like I really liked him,
but the movie when he was in it.
And Christian, what was that guy's name?
Anyways, he was the younger brother.
The reason I'm bringing this up is at one point,
he gets on all, yes, Christian Slater,
he gets on all these regs.
I have no clue why this has come up,
but I'm just gonna give this example.
And then he puts like poop on himself,
like dung to smell really bad
because when he walked through,
he was trying to like pretend that he was like
the lowliest low so that nobody would wanna
even have him near them.
Now, maybe you don't think
that that's how you view yourself,
but some of you are living your life
like on the inside as if you've got dung on yourself.
Like you're not worthy of anybody
to actually pay attention to who you are.
You're kind of, that's that pauper, that lowly of low.
And so no matter where you go,
that's how you show up on the inside.
I'll never forget one of the,
I used to work for a wealth and trust management company.
And as I was growing in that company and got promoted,
I ended up having to go and start like,
not just be at the events and set up and leave,
but then I had to be there to then also entertain
the clients with the other staff.
And I'll never forget, these are people,
you all, a wealth and trust management company,
if you're not aware,
they tend to manage large amounts of money for people, okay?
So the clients that would come, some of them,
a lot of them would be millionaires,
people with a lot of money.
And I can remember going into that,
like those scenarios feeling like I didn't belong there.
Anyone know what I'm talking about right now?
Maybe you haven't been in that exact situation,
but you walk into another room and you feel like,
I don't really belong here.
I'm here, but I can't ever be what they are.
I can't ever have what they have.
Y'all, that's pauper mentalities.
That's limiting belief systems.
I may not have yet a million dollars,
but y'all better believe I'm saving things.
I'm trading stocks now.
I'm on my way.
It's not just about the money either.
I don't want you to think this is just about the money.
It's about, I had to believe that I belonged there.
And then it caused like my confidence
that I gained on the inside,
just from talking to people and understanding,
a lot of times, y'all,
they weren't that much different than me.
Now, maybe they came from a different background.
Because you don't really learn that about everybody.
But when I stopped acting like I didn't belong
and I grew in confidence,
I had some really intelligent conversations
with those people because I showed up more fully as myself.
Yeah, sometimes we believe we're like this intruder.
Okay, so I want you to think about that.
Y'all, I have not gone this far into this in a long time.
So I feel like this is gonna really help some people
get set free from some stuff.
When you're showing up in places
and you automatically feel insecure like that,
I want you to pay attention to that.
When is that showing up?
What are the lies that you're hearing?
When we hear things like, I don't belong here,
or I'm an intruder, or any of that kind of stuff,
what is really going on on the inside?
Where is that coming from?
Remember, you don't have to figure this out.
We have to ask God really good questions.
God, I'm feeling really awkward right now.
I'm feeling really insecure.
Where is this coming from?
And even if he doesn't answer you right now,
Right then, He is going to reveal those things to you.
All right, let's keep going.
Proverbs 12, 49, a wife of noble characters
or husband's crown.
Ephesians 1, 5, in love He predestined us
for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ
in accordance with His pleasure and His will.
Isaiah 43, 4, since you are precious and honored in my sight
and because I love you, this is God talking to them,
I will give people in exchange for you.
I will give nations in exchange for your life.
Luke 12, 7, indeed, the very hairs of your head, Sarah,
are all numbered.
Don't be afraid.
You are worth more than sparrows.
We are precious to God.
He'll fight for us.
He does fight for us and He will provide for us
and He will go before us
and He literally knows every hair that's on our head.
So tonight, your question to go into the breakout room
is what broken heart aspect
do you relate to the most tonight?
The liar, the puzzle, the pretender.
Talk about if you have masks
that you've been hiding behind, how do those show up?
Maybe you need to talk about all of them.
I don't know, but you'll have a couple minutes.
So I'm gonna go ahead and get those set up.
Hold on one sec.
Should be a really great conversation tonight.
I know a lot of people get nervous.
Well, I shouldn't say a lot.
I think people are getting better about the breakout rooms.
I know some of you get nervous about this.
Don't check out, stay here, don't leave
because it's gonna bring breakthrough for some of you
in ways you couldn't even imagine it.
All right, let's do, yeah, let's still go on.
We're gonna do seven minutes.
All right, you're gonna go ahead and click this.
When it shows up in your screen,
you're gonna join those rooms as quick as you can.
Here you go.
You're talking about what part of your heart,
broken heart, do you resonate the most with tonight?
Gonna join those as quick as you can.
All right, and I just need to make sure
I've got two ladies in every room.
All right, thank you, Father,
for everything that's happening tonight.
Lord, I thank you that even with that example
that came up from that movie, Lord,
where women might believe that,
and even if they don't say that they believe
they have dung on them or whatever, Lord,
I pray that if there are any areas
where we've just been living below
what you have for us, God,
that we are walking in those orphan mentalities,
those pauper mindsets,
that we feel like an outsider in any way, shape, or form.
Lord, I thank you that you would show us, Lord,
how you make us one with you, Jesus,
as you're one with the Father and the Holy Spirit,
and that we always have you, that you never leave us,
you never forsake us, you're always on our side.
Yes, Lord.
The game, Red Rover, Red Rover,
let, you know, I'm gonna say, let Alice come over,
that just came up in my spirit,
and so I'm just gonna go with what God is showing me.
It's like some of us are sitting and waiting
for God to call our name,
for someone else to call our name,
but we don't have to.
Like, God is always calling our name.
And so, Lord, I just release that for everybody tonight,
everyone that's gonna watch the replay, God,
that they would hear your voice calling to them,
that there's no divider line,
God holding them on one side away from other people,
where they are just desiring to be called, to be chosen,
God, you've already chosen them.
I pray that you would just reveal these areas for healing,
God, that you would redeem every broken area.
We thank you for the balm of Gilead
being placed upon their hearts, their minds,
their bodies, their spirits, and their souls.
Yes, Lord.
Lord's talking a lot tonight.
I just saw an image of like an elevator on the first floor,
and it was like the door kept starting to close
and then reopening, closing,
but it never closed all the way.
And I just know that that's symbolizing
someone's just feeling like they're stuck
kind of on the first floor,
that they've never been able.
go higher. And so we just break that off in Jesus name. Yes,
Lord, you have the breaker anointing. God, you enable me to
walk in the breaker anointing. And I hear what your spirit is
saying. And I declare that these women will break free, God that
they will go higher in you, God. Yes, Lord, I know that there's
been some people in this group that have felt limited in their
work in their jobs, they felt kind of the law of the lid. But
God, I thank you that as we even myself at times I felt that
thank you Lord for helping me to even say that. But I thank
you that the more that we heal on the inside, the more
confidence that we gain, God that you just you're the one
that lifts us higher. God, I thank you for that. Whoo, I feel
Lord I'm not tonight. So thank you, Lord, that you're removing
barriers, you're removing obstacles, God, I thank you that
you're just taking shackles and things off of people's minds
that are causing them to partner with the lie that they cannot
move forward, that they're always going to be stuck that
God that no matter how much they've tried to do to move
forward, God, they always get pulled back. We just bind and
break that lie of the enemy off of their hearts, their minds. We
just thank you and declare and plead the blood of Jesus Christ
over them, that they are set free in whom he has that he has
set free is free. Indeed. So thank you God for liberty and
freedom and the Holy Spirit tonight. Yes, Lord, we thank you
and breakout sessions, conversations that are
happening, God that dots are being connected. We thank you
even here, those that are gonna watch the replay, God, we know
that you Yes, Lord, are working all things together for good in
our lives to save many people alive. God, I thank you that you
are taking every mess and you're creating masterpieces. God. Yes,
Lord. I thank you. Huh? Must be some movie night tonight because
I just saw the scene from Ariel, you know, where, um, you know,
she had already had her voice taken from this, you know, the
evil sea witch. But the scene where, you know, the thing gets
thrown and it lands underneath the bird and she starts to get
her voice back. But what we see in that movie is, you know, that
voice box, if you will, is glowing and she's starting to
get her voice back. So I just believe God tonight is giving
people's voices back. God, we thank you. Not only will some
people be declaring and speaking things that they've never been
able to talk about before, but people are going to walk in
confidence. God, I even, I just sense people just that have a
singing gift. I just declare that if people have desire to
sing, um, maybe be worship leaders, God, we just release
them into the divine destiny and the plan that you have for them.
Yes, Lord. Maybe even some of them leaders in boardrooms, um,
nonprofit organizations, people that are going to, yes, lead
with influence. And we just thank you, God. Yes, Lord. So
many of these ladies, we thank you for their kingdom families
and marriages that are going to come. We thank you, God, that
you would increase their hope and their faith, God, where they
don't have belief. We thank you that you would help their
belief, God, that you would give them the gift of faith that you
would impart into them fresh faith. Yes, Lord. When we
struggle to believe, open our eyes, Lord, give us faith. Help
us to trust you. Help us to see the places that you're already
working. Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord. That praise be our breakthrough.
There's a song by, um, Tor Waltz, the last name, I can't
think of their first name right now. Brian, I think is the
husband. But anyways, praise. I have to look up the song and
post in the group because that's coming up in my spirit tonight
as well. But some of you part of the struggle is that you're
really focused on what's not happening. And the Lord is
saying tonight that it's you have to make the shift, you have
to start to praise, praise, praise what is happening. It
doesn't mean you're not acknowledging what still needs
to shift. But God is saying there's power in the praise, the
praise is going to bring the breakthrough. So we just declare
in Jesus name that we will be women of authority, we will be
women of confidence, that we will praise you, God. And we
thank you that we will not be afraid. I'm going to look for a
scripture too. There's something coming up. Where's my
big Bible? I don't know where it's at y'all. Let me find the
other one. I got to look for this. It's important. We're gonna
let our praise be our anthem and just really see where that's
going to take us in the days ahead as everyone else is coming
back. I got to look for a scripture real quick. Y'all got
out you got to go back. Okay, when you guys log off and this
is posted tomorrow. Go back and listen to the breakout because
there's a lot of prophetic stuff happening tonight. God is
definitely speaking. And as I was kind of coming to the end of
that, I just heard the song and I'll post the song in the group
tomorrow. Praise Breakthrough. I forget exactly what it's called.
but anyways it led me to this psalm one blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked
or sit excuse me or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers but whose
delight is in the law of the lord and who meditates on his law day and night that person is like a
tree planted by streams of water which yields it for its fruit in season and whose leaf does not
wither whatever they do prospers y'all there's more to that but i was basically just talking
and saying like god was just really emphasizing praise is gonna bring breakthrough some of you
are focusing too much on what's not happening and god is saying you gotta focus on the winds
celebrate your wins celebrate how far you've already come and so y'all can go back and
listen to that again i put you guys in breakouts at about 8 50 tonight so if you go about 50 minutes
in once that replay and just listen to that some of y'all need need some of that that's in there
all right so our activation for this week i'm going to read through these really quick because
i'm going to post it in the group when i log off here tonight and you can read the details there
okay but i am going to read through it number one these are your activations for this week now ladies
activations are in addition to your homework and the reason we do this is we partner our faith with
our works okay so we're activating what we're learning that's why we do the activations number
one shift to positive oh my gosh i forgot that that was even my number one for activation
god is so funny
i planned it this morning and i i quickly read it but it didn't even dawn on me as that was
coming up in my spirit that that was our one of our activations for this week shift to positive
all right but this is what it means for the activation ask god to show you the gold in yourself
as well as other people and then i want you to create a post to share some of the gold and you
see in those that you see in those people throughout the week these can be short brief
posts y'all don't have to save all of it for all week long and then create a really long post
because those are actually harder for our coaching team to read y'all so if you keep them short brief
and powerful it makes a little bit easier for our team to kind of get back to you quicker
but here's the thing on this too create a post tell us about it
i really believe some of you are gonna if you're willing it doesn't mean you have to go around
toxic people okay but i believe god is going to show some of you things that you need to see about
your parents your family the gold that god sees in them there's good in everybody now again it
doesn't mean that that person's living into that right now doesn't mean they're a healthy person
for you to go around but it god has created every one of us in his image so y'all know there's good
stuff in there all right so let god show you the people around you and the gold in them number two
now we did this last week too but i'm going to give you a week two of this because i think we
need to do this more we're going to activate play again this week you're going to go do something
fun hopefully some of you excuse me went out last week and did something fun you enjoyed something
new i saw um natalie i forget what what it was called but natalie went and saw this specific
dog show tell us in the chat because i was like oh my gosh i don't think i've ever been to one
of those that would be cool but try something new yeah sheep yeah yeah yeah yeah she's here sheep
dog thing was it like where they um they compete against each other i think that's what it was
anyways i thought that was cool you know these are the kind of things like sometimes you just
see something that someone else has done someone else has done and then you're like oh that would
be kind of cool to go see all right but maybe for some of you you need to do things like have a
pajama party with your girlfriends some of you're like oh girlfriends i don't even have any
girlfriends y'all this is legit some of us don't have girlfriends all right there's no shame in
that but maybe you can invite one friend to lunch instead ask god to show you somebody else that
feels alone not somebody you have to like raise them out of a pit you all that's not necessarily
what i'm talking about now i'm not telling you you got to go minister to somebody i'm saying
ask god to show you someone else that's a healthy person that also would love a friend
and invite them to lunch maybe for you some of you all probably and i say this with love at your age
i probably wouldn't climb a tree but other people that are physically able we did this back when i
now keep this in mind you all i went through the heart work in 2021 so it's already been five years
I don't even know if I could climb a tree anymore.
I'm sure if it was a low tree, I could,
I'm pretty short you all.
But we did that challenge,
Jackie issued that challenge to our group
and you all legit, our group had the most videos
I've ever seen and photos of people climbing trees.
You just don't know what's gonna bring out
the inner child in you and that's what we're trying to do.
We're trying to get the good things to come out
even though the hard things are also surfacing.
Some of you all need to go on a swing, go down a slide.
Anybody ever been to,
there's these new slide places coming out now.
It's a big thing and family areas where,
the things that used to be,
when you would go to a festival and you'd sit on the sack
and you'd go down the slide, yeah.
Those are coming up all over the place down here
at least in Florida.
There are these like fun centers
and they have all these indoor slides
and stuff that you go down.
Hey, you all, you don't need a kid to go do that.
Now, again, if you're not physically able,
then don't do that, go do something different.
I'm just trying to give you guys ideas of fun things.
Yeah, Kaylee, great ideas, chalk, bubbles, sprinklers,
anything that's kind of awakening the little kid in you.
Maybe it's just to go on a walk and pick flowers.
Now don't pick somebody else's flowers,
maybe in the wild, okay?
I know, Michelle gets my jokes.
Michelle and I think we would laugh a lot.
She seems to like what I'm saying over here.
Y'all, this is my version of silliness, okay?
Can I just say, there has been a time or two
that I've picked someone's flowers.
I probably shouldn't have done that.
And so that's why I encourage you guys not to do it.
All right, go on an adventure, try something new,
go to a new place, really have some fun with this.
This is the time ladies to allow every aspect of yourself
to awaken.
Some of you will feel terrified by this
because you're like,
I don't even know who I was as a little girl.
Part of this is for you to try your best
to tap into some of that stuff.
And if you need help, ask the Lord to show you what to do
and then just go do that.
And then take the next step the next time and do it again.
All right, so we're gonna open up for group shares.
Yash was first, then I'm gonna go to Catherine
and then we'll go from there.
Thanks, Bethany.
So when you were talking about the professional setting,
something really came into my mind.
And the issue that I was thinking about
is that I always feel that I feel like a pretender.
I mean, I've worked for this financial industry,
I think almost like 23 years now,
and I've worked hard, learned what I need to learn
and I'm still learning.
So even though I have like had so many professional settings
I still feel I'm not good enough.
And I was wondering, like, why do I feel this way?
So growing up, I grew up in Sri Lanka.
So now I'm in Hong Kong,
I've been living here for the past seven years.
But even when I was in Sri Lanka, I remember as a kid,
so probably about five or six or maybe five,
I had two cousins who's older than me.
So they were always, they had like well-meaning stuff to do
and also they were quite wealthy as well.
Whereas my parents were actually
starting everything from ground up.
So whenever we went to like all these social settings,
I remember like they telling me,
okay, be careful as to what you say
because you don't know a lot of English.
So I mean, obviously English is my second language.
So I mean, as a five or a six year old, I'm still learning.
I mean, no, I didn't know back then that no one,
that it's all right for me to stumble
while learning a second language
and to communicate with others.
But I think that kind of really kind of built a shame in me
that I'm not good enough, I haven't learned enough.
So that was what came to me,
but I'm just trying to get off of that.
So if you have any helpful tips,
Bethany just let me know
because I know it seems something small back in the days,
but now I wonder why do I still feel that?
Because I have come a very long way.
Yeah, I think it's just gonna be something
that's gonna come with time.
But one of the things that just kind of came up
in my spirit was if there were things that you did say
that someone like made fun of you or scolded you
because you said it wrong, that you can recall,
I actually think you need to write that out,
like whatever that thing was,
and then like write to yourself,
I love you and accept you, Yash.
I think part of what I'm just sensing with you,
cause I know this has kind of been something
you've been really trying to work through for a while
is that a key to break.
free from some of this stuff is for you to actually love yourself, like to
actually just no matter ladies, there comes a time and I'm not trying to
minimize it because it is a process and it takes us time. Um, but there comes a
moment when we really have to
lay that stuff down and just say, no matter what this person has said, kind
of like that example of my mom earlier, even though it's not the same,
I have to choose to know that I have been a good daughter.
I really know that I have been.
I left college to take care of my mom. Like there were a lot of things I
sacrificed and so I have to just like partner with the truth and move forward.
But a lot of what I've had to do is really like, um, kind of like what I was
saying earlier, even when I was praying for you guys, when I started the session
tonight, if you weren't on then it's okay, but it's that convergence back
with the little girl, you.
Okay. So imagine walking in when you said, you know, you had these two older
cousins that came up tonight. I don't know if I've actually heard you mention
the two older cousins or not. I can't remember, but like when you're walking
into those social settings, if there was something moments where you actually
went through that experience, where you said something, um, and again, someone
made fun of you or you felt really intimidated, where you like in your
mind's eye, in your spirit, kind of envision hugging yourself and saying, I
love you, Yash.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
And I'm not saying like, it's not a weird kooky thing, but it's, it's us
learning how to like pause in that moment and just imagine and remember,
like, remember even like, I can remember very little things about when I was
little, but there are a couple of very vivid things and I can remember where I
was and things like that.
And there are times where I've really had to like pause and just say, I love
you. I'm sorry that happened to you.
And like love myself.
And the more that I've done that, I feel like it's like I've been able to
receive God's love more too.
Yeah.
It's so, I think the next season for you is really going to be centered around
you accepting yourself and loving yourself in those vulnerable places back
then.
So that when it like shows up in your today, you're like, Hey devil, that's
healed.
Like I'm, I'm okay now and I'm moving forward, you know, where it's, it's
something that will happen, but it's also a choice.
And it's not saying you won't ever struggle or get tripped up at all, but I
don't think it's negating the fact you've done a lot of work and you are not
who you used to be.
So you have to believe and partner with that too.
You're welcome.
Thanks for asking that question.
That was really good.
Catherine.
Hello.
Hi.
I'm like, I was sharing in my breakout group.
I'd say a lot of my life, I started off with being like a pretender a lot
because you know I'm, I mean, I work in the field of special education, but I
you know I'm, I mean I work in the field of special education as a teacher,
teacher's assistant because I used to be one of those students and I am a mom of
that, but you know, it was always about hiding.
Oh, like academics was hard or anything like that.
And like I was also sharing, I've, I've always felt like the black sheep of the
family.
And that also explains getting it out there with some of the posts I put up
there.
I definitely, definitely, definitely feel that a lot with my stepdad that I a
hundred percent feel like, and it's very interesting, honestly, growing up with
the brother where we're, we're opposite ends of the bell curve.
Like I grew up in, in special education and having special needs.
And my brother grew up on the gifted end.
So I definitely feel like a lot that my stepdad kind of looks at me like, oh my
gosh, like your life is a mess.
When is it going to get together?
And of course I was sharing in the group with the posts that it showed up with
this whole car thing.
And then this brings into kind of most of my struggles now, I would now say I
relate.
most to the liar.
And one such lie is I just keep believing.
And I believe Jackie when she says,
the finances is tied to the heart,
just like I've also been believing that.
Obesity, fighting obesity is tied to the heart.
I'm like, I worked this stuff out through the heart,
which that was a powerful, supernatural Saturday.
I'm almost done catching up, but I believe that.
I really get through and break through with the heart.
The weight won't be as much of a struggle
and the finances won't be as much of a struggle,
but I just keep believing.
I'm always doing like, oh man,
like waiting for the other shoe to drop with the finances.
Oh, here's the next thing that blows.
Even though God keeps reminding me,
but a year ago I thought I wasn't gonna have a place to live
and look at what he did.
He got me out of there.
He moved me off the island, brought me up here.
So don't I think he would provide a car for me?
Which of course, I do hear moments,
even though my dad and I had different moments of like,
well, I'm like, I don't think I can do a $30,000 car,
buying one.
There's no way I could do those car payments
and finish up this loan.
That's way too much a month with inflation.
But I do feel like God was speaking to both of us
through him on Sunday when my dad said, what about leasing?
So just, I guess, for God to show me the answer,
I'm getting a second opinion
and running this by a coworker of mine,
because I work special ed in a BOCES,
but we also have the vocational.
So he teaches mechanics.
So he has to know the latest technologies
to teach the next generations.
And if he says it's kaput,
it's one of those that I guess I'm asking God,
like, just help me.
First of all, get my bills where I can finally balance them
because it really is hard with inflation.
And second of all, is it better to lease?
Is it better to do?
And of course I know in the back of my head,
I'm like, is the car thing gonna get in the way
of meeting my spirit mate?
That car's not gonna get in the way of meeting my spirit mate.
So now I worry about that.
You're not there yet.
Because if I have to lease.
Yeah, don't, hey ladies, you know what?
Literally, there's Uber.
Please do not let this kind of stuff.
This is how the enemy,
he just starts to take you down these rabbit trails.
I'm gonna get to the core of something you were saying.
Let me unblur it.
Oh yeah, I wanna hear this.
That you said that I think is gonna help a lot of people.
And I feel like this is gonna be a kind of a theme
as I'm coaching tonight.
All right, so this isn't exactly a black sheep,
but I just kind of visually look,
cause I couldn't draw a sheep.
Not that fast.
All right, I want you to imagine
when you said the black sheep thing,
I think a lot of people think this way, right?
When we think that we're the black sheep,
we're always on the outside.
I'm not saying that that wasn't
how things actually were sometimes
by the way people excluded us.
It's like we're here and we think everybody
is happy on the inside, right?
But y'all, here's the reality.
I'm gonna show you something.
Let me draw this really quick.
Hold on one second.
I don't even know if this is gonna land
the way it happened in my spirit when I thought of it,
but all right, this here, this box, you can't really see it.
Sorry, I don't have a black marker.
I put Jesus in there.
Jesus is the way, all right?
So the reality is, is no matter what other people do
or what we think they're doing,
we really never have to be out here
because Jesus already opened the door for us.
Is this landing yet?
I see some people.
We think we're out here
because the way people have treated us
and we think they're just in here enjoying
and they're happy and they're the white sheep
and we're just on the outside.
We're the black sheep, we're the bad kid.
We're the kid that's not as smart.
Whatever that thing is that made us
what we believed the black sheep.
Y'all, the black sheep is a lie too.
Guess what?
God didn't create any black sheep.
Well, I mean, technically there are black sheep,
but y'all get what I'm saying, right?
But here's the reality.
Again, Jesus, if he is the way, the truth and the life,
he freaking broke that wall down.
You get to go in.
You already are in here,
but you believe you're out here.
So at some point we have to stop partnering with,
I am the black sheep.
I'm always on the outside.
Now, are some of you getting treated that way
by your parents because there's still...
favoring another sibling, maybe, but you don't have to believe that lie.
Because God doesn't look at you like that. God is giving you the same benefit that is giving all
these people in here. I hope this is landing for you all because it's really powerful. If
you'll get a hold of this, you're already in here. God didn't give me a husband and he's like, oh,
you got to just stay out here. You don't get one.
Amy's thinking about that. I can tell. Some of y'all believe that. You believe that everybody
else is going to get somebody and you're just not really sure that God has that for you.
Maybe it's finances. Maybe it's something else.
But I'm telling you, if you guys can get a hold of this, this door is already open.
Orphan mentalities keep us out here. Limiting belief systems keep us out here.
Now, the healing happens on the inside. Remember, this isn't about behavior modification.
Oh, yes, Lord. This isn't about you, like, pretending to be good and be here.
This is about you getting a revelation that Jesus died for you.
He died for you. He gave you the victory. And the more that you allow him to heal your heart,
your heart, you're going to recognize that you have full access.
My husband, we're in the, excuse me, we're in this series right now called Chesed.
It's from the Bible from the book of Ruth. And it's really, really incredible series. But he
said one of the things now, y'all, I'm not saying Boaz is and you wait, you wait, you wait. It's
okay. When I bring Boaz, don't everybody freak out that I'm talking about that. That's not what
I'm talking about. But Boaz gave Ruth access to water to extra grain. And then he also just gave
her access to everything that was his. Everything that is God's is already yours. I know it's so
hard for us to comprehend sometimes because we're still living in what we don't have.
But tonight, I believe God is inviting us to partner with what do we have? What's already in
your hand? What's the blessing that you already have? How far have you already grown? Some of
y'all even in a few days, there's some breakthrough that's happening. Yeah.
So Catherine, we're praying for you. And I'm believing that God is going to keep providing
for you in different ways. Some of it is going to be you growing in knowledge or
asking people who have, you know, really good knowledge regarding finances or budgeting or car,
you know, those kinds of things and, and asking people for help. I love that you're asking someone
help for help. I think that's great regarding your car getting fixed and all that. Ladies,
this is part of the journey is us not believing that we have to do everything by ourselves,
but I believe a lot of this has to do with what we believe in here.
And it's going to keep changing. God's going to continue to give you invitations to an upgrade.
Okay, Sarah, go ahead.
So while you were holding up that drawing and explaining just about the placement of Jesus,
I had this sensation in my body, and it was almost like it landed in my stomach. And it was like an
excitement. And I just I felt like I had to when I first started with last year single, I was still,
you know, intellectually was like, Am I just as good as any other woman to get married and have
children and do the God thing with a good husband, all that good stuff was like, of course, but did
my heart believe it? No, I didn't. And I couldn't see it. You know, where you're like, Oh, yeah,
I can see myself doing something. I was like, man, I still had I was there was things I couldn't see.
And I'm starting to realize as you showed, you just held up that picture. I was like,
I can see it. I'm starting to see it. It's like I'm starting to get vision. But I just I had to
say that really quick. But I was in the reason I raised my hand is I was in the same small group
with Miss Wendy. She's also got her hand raised the pretty lady up there in blue with her and
Eileen in the same group this
afternoon. But we were talking about the puzzle. And when you
were talking about, you know, you need, you talk about liking
to solve puzzles, and I'm a puzzler, I used to be a threat
analyst as well, I like figuring things out. And I get really,
really frustrated when I don't understand and I have a hard
time moving on. And there's a lot I have a lot of things, you
know, where it's like, you've got like fire, irons in the
fire, and you want to see it pulled out. It's like, Nope,
they're still in there. And I can't look at them yet. And it's
it's right. I'm not gonna lie, it's driving me a little
bananas. But one thing that Wendy said, that struck me
because she talked about the puzzle too, was she, because I
was like, man, how do you move on, like, especially when
there's been something, whether it's like a church group, or a
guy or, you know, something where there's been a fallout,
and maybe it's little t or big T trauma, you know, really
unpleasant. I'm like, man, and I was doing it today about an
old church hurt group. Like, I, I keep going back, and I'm
trying to figure it out. And I'm puzzling it. And I was
really wondering, Bethany, like, what comes to your mind,
like what the Holy Spirit brings to mind when it comes to
really, you know, like, be putting the puzzles to peace,
like, we leaving them be and, and moving forward, not not
going back to that whole memory recall. Two things Wendy said,
were, do I really want this and that it isn't what you think it
is? Right. And I feel like I had a little once again, another
bit of a vision shift when she said that it's like, there's
more like, there's a way to figure out to not maybe not to
puzzle it, right. But there's a way to walk forward without
being continually stuck in that that trauma, trauma puzzling.
So yeah, it you know, two things, as soon as you started
talking number, okay, three things almost forgot. The first
thing, what you felt in your stomach, okay, I really want
you even after we get off tonight, I want you to pray into
that Martha Lord. As soon as you start talking about that, I was
thinking of the scripture and y'all somebody can help me look
this up. And where it talks about out of, you know, our
bellies will flow rivers of living water. And there's
something about the stomach that is really important. Like you
could have felt that anywhere in your body, but you felt it in
your stomach. And so, um, you know, laughter is good medicine.
Sometimes there's that, you know, like those belly laughs, I
don't know, those are the couple things that I was thinking of as
you were talking. And I do believe that that is like
something that's going to continue, God wants to continue
to show you something about that, because you felt that and
it was very real to you. Number two on the puzzle, when you
start talking about that, I immediately saw a puzzle that
was all the way finished except for one piece. And as a
puzzler, you all, the worst thing is when you put a puzzle
together and you are missing one freaking piece. Literally, like
that would drive me bonkers. I like I would feel so frustrated
because I really didn't get to finish that. It felt unfinished.
But here's the thing. You know, I've had puzzles like that. And
I've learned how to remember that, hey, there's just a piece
missing there. And I've still been able to enjoy putting that
puzzle together. When back in the day, that wasn't the case.
Now, am I saying I always want that to happen? No. But I think
at some point, it's kind of like earlier, I was saying,
sometimes we just have to give ourselves permission to move
forward, Sarah. And then there might come a day where we're
going through something and then it's like, oh my gosh, that's
the piece I've been looking for. But if we just wait, because
we're looking for that piece, we're looking for that piece,
we're looking for that piece. And that piece is in some hidden
box in our storage, you know, whatever. If y'all have moved a
couple times, you might be kind of what's the word tracking with
me right now. I found a puzzle piece one day when I was like
unpacking a totally different box. And I remember being like,
oh my gosh, that's where that freaking piece was. I don't know
if this makes sense. But that's just what came to me is that I
think it's about sometimes with our overanalyzing minds, some of
us have to just like, you know what? Okay, I have all the
information I can have right now. And until God gives me the
rest of that, I'm going to keep moving forward. For you, I think
it's interesting that this old church hurt came up again. So I
want you to just ask God,
God is there something else you want to show me right now if not, can you just help me let this go and move forward?
You know some of us are waiting for somebody to come to us and verbally say they're sorry and I'm not sure if that's what's
You know hanging you up on that
But some of us we we long for that person to come and make it right
and
If they don't that's like the missing piece for us, and we never feel satisfied
We just keep circling that thing and circling it when there's really nothing else we can do right now
We just have to move forward and let the Lord take care of that
Some of those people will never I wanted my oldest even more than my younger brother
I wanted my oldest brother to come and verbally apologize to me for what he did
Y'all he never did that and then when he did do it
he was like it was like a force thing and not because I was like begging for it and like, you know, we're fighting and
Then I was like, oh that felt super cheap
Y'all know what I'm talking about
Yeah, so
Wouldn't it be better if it just happened in God's timing and it was genuine?
Right now again, I have no clue if that resonates for you, but then the last thing I wanted to say
Was when you were talking about
How when Wendy said it isn't what you think it is and you were saying I forget exactly how you worded it
But this is what I heard. I
Think for you Sarah some of your breakthrough is gonna come through rest
Like as in like a learning how to just kind of surrender all the like the overthinking
having to figure it out and
learning a new way of resting in him and
So again, I don't know if that resonates for you, but that's kind of what I heard when you were talking about that
I think that's part of like it's not just how the spirit mates gonna come
That's gonna be different than the way you think because that could be true, but I also think that
Your breakthrough might come in some ways that will surprise you
That makes sense, yeah, it all totally yeah makes sense
And especially what you were saying about not and for me it's not so much about
I don't feel like I'm willing to like be totally fine without ever if I know it'd be great to reconcile
But if I never see the people again, I'd be totally at peace
Where I think the enemy hits me is with lies like I had to it was long story short
It was very good at one point and then people dissolved into stuff. That was very toxic and I went against
my
Usual which I would say in the past was dysfunctional
Responses and actually got out ahead of something that could have been really bad
But so in doing that I've been questioning like well, not the whole time
But I have periods of questioning myself in it where I'm like, oh, did I did I really hear you know?
Like did I make a mistake and why do you feel guilty or something?
Okay, so
Maybe you need a partner with the truth that maybe you were God defended and God was protecting you
So ladies if guilt drives you if guilt is at the core of some of these things that are tormenting some of you
I really want you to ask God to help you see his his protection and his defense of you
And I think that's a really important thing to think about
His his protection and his defense of you
And ladies, even if we got ahead of God
Don't you think he could recorrect like redirect us and you know all of that and even that
Situation he can redeem all that
You know what comes to mind the last thing I'll share and again, it's not like we at least from my perspective
I'm not walking around like I want to save people
The Savior complex is what I'm talking about right now
but I think when
bad things happen to people
Like I had the way I'll describe this the shortest version as there was this this young guy that used to work at the
Company the Wealth and Trust Management Company that I was talking about earlier
And he drank a lot he partied a lot with the younger people
And this he went back and forth in front of my desk all the time to the water jug and and one day in particular
It never dawned on me, you know really actually like at all until one day. I smelled alcohol in the hallway and
I thought well, that's strange
Why am I smelling and then not that much later?
I was talking to a co-worker in the hallway and he came up and started talking to us and I
out alcohol again. And then it dawned on me like, Oh my gosh, I think he's drinking at work. Now,
I never said anything to him because I didn't know how to navigate it. And I, I didn't have
proof or anything like that. But y'all ended up having a dream about this guy and not in a weird
kooky way. It was a three scene dream. And in the end, and this is again, the shortest version,
the last scene of the dream, I knew this, this guy and other people from my, my work were in
this dream. In the last scene, there were all these people coming out of the house and they
all had black on. And I remember not knowing or understanding what was the dream was about.
Like I was praying into it, but I never really got the revelation of what God was saying.
Well, I don't know how much time passed by, but this young man ended up dying. He drank himself
to death. And you all for months, I felt so much guilt because I really do think God was showing me
now I'm not the savior. I don't think God was putting that on me. Like I was the only person
that could help him or anything like that. But it was one of those times where I'm like, man,
what if I, you know, I grew up in a home where my dad was an alcoholic and a drug addict. I,
I saw the signs, I smelled it. What if I had said something to him? And I had this guilt
that started to come and God really like had to set me free from that because, you know,
we're doing our best. And so Sarah, I'm giving that to you to encourage you. Like we're doing
our best. And you know, when you left, it sounds like you believed you were following the Lord and
you were making the best decision that you could make in that season. And so for you and anybody
else, God is saying it's time to set yourselves free. So I didn't tell you that story about that
guy to make you all sad, but I just, you know, the reality is, is we all are learning at the end of
the day, you know, so many people probably cross that, that guy's path that could have said
something. Right. So for me to take that all in myself, that is the enemy to try. He's trying to
cause that. So we have to recognize those kinds of tactics of the enemy that she's trying to
oppress us with stuff, right? Guilt, condemnation, and shame ladies is from the enemy. All right.
I know we're at nine 38. I am going to let Renee and Wendy go. If y'all need to log off,
I'm going to try to not go past nine 50. We'll see how it goes. But if y'all need to log off,
I totally understand. I really do try to not go too late, but some really good stuff has come
out of tonight. So hopefully y'all been blessed, Sarah. Thanks for sharing. I think I forgot to
say, Catherine, thanks for sharing to you too. Renee would love to hear what you have to say.
Oh yeah, this has been so good. I've been writing so many notes. Yay.
In the group, we talked about the different lives and one that came to me, as soon as you started
talking, the first two, I stopped with, I don't, I don't matter. And what came up was my mom,
it's a situation where when I was 16, my mom had another child and my mom was older. So Vanessa,
my sister, she was born with some developmentally delayed basically. And around the same time,
my mom retired to be with her. Now I was a latchkey kid. So I, my mom, I was, you know,
she worked all the time. That's, that was the life we had. She just worked all the time. So
when she stayed home with my sister, I felt slighted by it. So that was one instance. And I
know, I know it wasn't she didn't mean any harm, but I felt like, you know, she chose my sister
over me. And then there was another instance where she chose a boyfriend over me. And then another
situation, not necessarily with my mom, but with my father who he was in my life, but he had a
whole nother family. So it was kind of like out of sight, out of mind when, when I needed something,
it was a big deal, but his children from, you know, that he was in the household with got
everything they wanted. They got cars, they got, they had a much better financial life than I did
with just my mother. And so I always, I just had that feeling. It, it still comes up and,
and I know I shouldn't feel well with my father. I just feel some kind of way because,
you know, with my mom, I think I'm just more partial, but it's still.
things yeah it still stings and when i did talk to her about it
and her mentality is hey we all have to do what we have to do
so she didn't really you know she wasn't
empathetic or sympathetic to what i was saying she was like well
you were already raised so i did my part and it was you were leaving the house
in a couple years which i did to go to school
and your sister needed me but i was like i needed you too still
yeah like she didn't understand kind of my perspective but i also didn't want to
guilt trip her because she didn't make the decision
to slight me i i understand that but it doesn't mean
like i still feel it yeah so interestingly enough
two things i heard when you were talking that you believe the lie that
your mom loved her more so i think that's under there
too okay so i want you to pray into that
and then i really want you to pray into what i first saw when you were talking
about you know you said it stings in there
i literally kind of had this picture of like a bee sting
like a bee sting and the stinger was still like stuck in there
and i heard like get the poison out and so i want you to really pray into
asking god to remove like you know um how people what's it called
siphon like when they try to suck the poison
like if a snake bites someone and they can kind of
do that and it pulls that that venom that poison out
and now god can just touch you and heal you so i don't like it's not going to be
hard for him but specifically for whatever reason i just felt led to
encourage you to pray for god to specifically
get the poison out
because i believe there's something about like this residue that's kind of
staying um and it's it's another layer of the
healing for you where god's going to just come in and
remove that that venom if you will because you're
starting to believe the truth you're on that path
but it's still painful and so another way you could when i pray the balm of
gilead ladies the reason i do that back in the
you know you guys can look in scripture it talks about that briefly
um it was a medicinal thing okay the balm of gilead was like
a sign of medicinal healing that was used in the old testament and so when i
pray that over us like i always envision god just coming
in with and again you guys i just see things like in my imagination i'm not
saying it says this in scripture but i just kind of imagine god coming
with like this balm this healing with on this gauze and
just coming and putting it on our hearts and our souls and just
like healing us and obviously he can just touch me right now and i don't
there's no gauze needed but just i don't know i think because as a mom if
i'm trying to heal my help my kid heal i got the gauze out i got the stuff to
clean it i got you know all these things that they need
and so whatever works for you all but i want to kind of get you started on that
path because i feel like that's kind of it's just going to come a day where
one day it won't hurt the same like when that happened with my mom
the sting was legit real and deep and hurtful and now i can talk about it
still i mean if i think about it still feels sad like that was my mom like i
can't imagine doing that to my kids i love her i extend grace to her her mom
was really mean to them so i know my mom learned
that stuff but i don't feel that pain anymore
because god took that away and he's going to take your pain away too
it's just going to take some time so continue to forgive your mom
continue to release her you know another layer of what helped me
heal regarding my mom was having my girls in my life and even
though they weren't biologically mine and they're not still like some of what
i've gone through you know as they make decisions like and
it's not good good decisions you know
or like even when i moved to florida like it was hard to leave them
but i knew that god was calling us here now my girls could believe the lie that
i abandoned them i mean that's truth they could believe
that if they wanted to but that's not true
so maybe asking god to reframe how you
to your mom, like this week, as we're doing the seeing gold and other people, I would
encourage you to ask God to show you the gold in your mom. And it doesn't mean you don't
already see good in her. But I think specifically about this situation. And when you were a
latchkey kid, even more so. Like, ask God to show your show you your mom during that
time.
What's funny, you mentioned it because on the flip side, I was thinking about I had
a lot of surgeries when I was younger, because I was born with a birth defect. And that's
what came to mind, like, what kind of my brain said, or maybe it was the Holy Spirit, like,
you had your time when she was devoted to you. And it was during that season when I
had to have so many surgeries, where she she was devoted to me. So that if the course like
all the conversations happening that did come to me. So you're probably I like the
the whole reframing because, like I said, mentally, I know it's not true. It's not true.
But it's just I know something is still there that has to be dealt with. But that is what
came to mind. Like, she was there for you in a special way when you really needed her.
Yeah. So remember, when I say like, not today, devil, not today, when I kind of tell you
guys to say that. So the enemy is going to keep coming and presenting this lie to you.
He probably will come with this lie again, that your mom, what did I write down loved
her more. But what as you were just saying that about your mom, I heard in the spirit,
she loved me to the same. She loved us both the same. And so when the lie comes, what
you're going to have to do is reject the lie that she loved your sister more. And instead
partner with man, she loved me too. She loved us both really well. Maybe, you know, I feel
like it's fair. None of us are perfect. None of us are perfect. Even as parents now, we
are not perfect. And so it's not about perfection. It's about seeing, man, she was good in this
way. My mom was good. My mom did a lot of good things. And I've seen that more now,
the more that I've prayed to forgive her really after she passed, I feel like God has just
really visited me a couple times regarding my mom, specifically some dreams I've had.
And so, you know, be asking God for that even before, you know, anything happens with your
mom, ladies, God can show you things that you cannot see on your own. Okay. Renee, thanks
for sharing. Thank you. You're welcome. Wendy, go ahead.
Okay, I guess I put in the group. Can you hear me? Yep. Okay. I put in the group that
I've been, I was fired from a job, fired from a business, a real estate company. And I should
have, yeah, just last week. Sorry. Yeah, just a little something happened. I was probably
in the wrong, but I don't think it had to be that much. But it's been a relief ever
since that happened. I'm like, okay, I had been with this mentor person. I had, you know,
which he was always trying to compete with me and, and would only just give me a little,
you know, little, just little scraps of things to help her with and, and in order to make
money and stuff like that. And, and I've been looking, it was kind of hostile. And she had
been through some financial stuff and she needed to make a lot of money, but she was
making it at the expense of other people. And she's, she's supposed to be a leader or
a manager of some kind. And so I kind of just gave up on it. I just kind of stopped working
it, but I was just staying there to be together. But that happened ever since that happened.
I've been thinking about moving. I've been thinking about another business and it's just
been kind of, you know, just trying to go through the process of that, you know, and,
and I had to figure out, did I really want that? That's what I said to myself, you know,
to Sarah, I said, you know, do I really want that? Why am I getting upset about something
that I probably, it's not healthy for me. And so I should have quit before, but I can
always redo, go to another brokerage and that's not a problem. I mean, you know, in that bag.
So I'm going to take a break from that and then I'm going to go see him.
a health, I have an appointment with the health, um, health, one of those doctors that believes in
health, um, natural medicine stuff, and I sent him a piece of my hair, and so we're going to
analyze what's wrong with me, and I'm going to work on that for the summer. I think that is a
great plan, Wendy. And so now I don't have this, one of the problems, the brokerage I was with
was an REO brokerage, which means that they did a lot of bank foreclosures. We were exposed to a
lot of things like mold and, you know, like a lot of dander and stuff, so it's actually a good,
you know, I wasn't really going to do a lot of work anyway for the company anyway, so I'm like,
they kind of, you know, and gas prices have gone up to like over four bucks a gallon here in
Arkansas, so. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm going to do that. I'm going to see how that works out.
It's all being, you never know, you might see a skinnier person.
Hey, I love it. You're investing in your health. I feel like you're, it sounds like you're already,
like, forgiving them, at least moving in that direction, if you haven't already.
Um, it sounds like, because you said, I was probably in the wrong, too. It sounds like
God's talking to you about some things maybe you could have done differently.
It sounds like, it all sounds very good as far as, like, the direction you're moving. You're
considering maybe, hey, I'm, maybe I'll move now, um, which to me feels, like, way different than
when you first came in this program. Just the openness in your heart and the way you're looking
at things, very good. It's very encouraging. We look forward to hearing how the appointments and
things go with the doctor and, you know, there could be so many other different things that God
has planned. Ladies, sometimes, you know, uh, an ending, what we would consider a rejection
is actually God's redirection for us at times. Um, and so I love the way you're looking at this.
Ladies, pray into things like this when they happen and be open. I kind of started there
tonight with our session. You know, are we really open to seeing what is God telling us about a
situation, about people? Even when people offend us, it doesn't mean that God intended that, but
what does God want to teach us through it? You know? And so, um, thank you for sharing that,
Wendy. Appreciate you. And, uh, ladies, there's so much in store. So be praying this week about
your heart and that broken aspects that are still hidden for God to reveal those things for you to
see them and come in. Tell us about it in, in the groups. We want to hear your fun stuff too.
Remember, we love evidence. If you go do something fun, we would love, we would love pictures. We
would love to see what you're doing. Let us experience that with you. Let me pray for us
and close us out. Father. Thank you. Thank you so much for all the gifts that you gave us tonight.
Even myself, I feel encouraged and I'm just so grateful to be here with these ladies at this
time of their lives, God, that I get to see this little glimpse of what you're doing in their lives.
God, thank you for every person that has been touched, encouraged, God, for Sarah feeling that
excitement coming in her stomach, Lord, and everybody else, Lord, wherever they are, Lord, we thank you
for dots being connected, God, for finances coming in. We thank you, God, for protecting us and our
families from any attacks of the enemy. We thank you that you have us covered, that we are under
the shadow of your wings. God, we thank you for an increase in supernatural breakthroughs and,
and, and suddenlies, God, that we will fix our eyes from where our help comes from, the maker of
heaven and earth, God, that we will think on things that are true and noble and lovely and of good
report, things that are above only and not beneath. God, that we are blessed when we go in and we're
blessed when we go out. We're blessed when we rise up and we are blessed when we lie down. So tonight
we thank you for sale arrest. God help us to sleep peaceful in you and Jesus name. Amen. God
bless you all. Love you. And I'll see y'all in the groups. Have a good night, everyone. Bye.