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Hi ladies. Welcome. Happy Monday. Hi Diana. So good to see some of you on tonight. I'm

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sure we'll have more people join us as we go on. But I want to go ahead and get started

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with just some of our housekeeping things. And hopefully you don't check out when I say

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that because these are important parts and you just never know what's going to pop out

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when I start doing housekeeping either. But for those of you that might be brand new to

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this community, to this process, welcome. We're so glad that you're here. I'm going

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to do another check-in regarding new people here in a little bit as more people log in.

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But most importantly, no matter how long you've been in this community or this group, if you

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have never done an introduction post, or even if you went through this program before and

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you're back in the heartwork, I would love for you to do an introduction post and just

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let everyone know a little bit about you. So what are some of your favorite things? You

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know, if you're here for the first time, what led you to this community? And what are you

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hoping to get out of the heartwork? Obviously, we think a lot of you come here because you're

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looking for a spirit mate. You believe God has that for you. But some of you, there's other

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things. But either way, whatever your story is, we would love for you to share that and a

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favorite picture of yourself. You can be with other people if you want. You can be with your

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animals. It can be just yourself. But something that you would enjoy to share with other

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people that is a genuine picture of you that you love. I want to encourage you all to come on

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screen with me. So Diana's here hanging out with me. I see Diana and would love some of you

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all that are not on screen right now to come on screen with us. Hi, Natalie. Why do we do

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this? We talked about this a lot. You guys are gonna get tired of hearing me talk about it, but

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it's super important. We want you to practice being seen. Okay, on camera in life. Part of the

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heartwork process part of the key of this is allowing yourself to be seen, known and loved and

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to show up fully. Not just show up and be behind a camera screen. What would it be like I'm not

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saying it wouldn't still be effective if my camera was off. But I do believe on some level, if my

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camera's off, that creates disconnection a little bit. Not saying it can't be affected. Not saying

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God can't use it. God can use anything he wants. We do prayer calls all the time, where sometimes

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we can't pray. Sometimes we can't turn camera on all that kind of stuff. But I really believe

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especially in the heartwork that you guys need to practice letting yourself be seen on screen. For

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some of you, you're terrified to do online dating. So if you can't see yourself on this screen with

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us with other ladies, you're gonna have an even harder time over there, you know, practicing that.

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And so practice now come out of hiding. Don't worry about makeup and all of that kind of stuff. Just

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show up. Just show up and be here and be here fully as much as you can. When I encourage you all to

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join prayer calls as much as you can. If you're not sure when those are, ladies, one of the amazing

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things about this app, sometimes our app is a little clunky, not gonna lie. But it's an improvement on

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what we used to have. If you guys weren't here that many years ago, there are a lot of improvements.

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And one of those is the events calendar. So when you're in the app, if you click on events, and then

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you click on the calendar in there, you're going to see the different things that are available to you when

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you're in phase one, some of which are the prayer calls and things like that. So Monday through

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Thursday, women's only prayer from 10 to 11am. Faith Friday is basically we come and we give testimony.

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It's a co-ed call, if men decide to come or able to come. And David Dorman typically leads that. Saturday

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morning is supernatural Saturday, typically with Jackie, sometimes we do have to have other people

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lead that. And then we do typically Sunday night activation, except for the last Sunday night of

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the month, which is prophetic ministry night. So be looking at those things come to prayer,

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even if you are at work, and you can't turn your camera on, or you can't talk, it's okay. I used to

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literally I say this all the time, but I'm not saying this to pat myself on the back. It is

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genuinely just what I felt led to do. And I hope that it encourages some of you. Sometimes I would

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be at work, and I couldn't talk a prayer, but I would just write a prayer out. And then the prayer

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leaders would read those out loud. And so our prayer leaders do try to do that, even if you

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can't pray it out, that you can put it in the chat, and then we can try to grab those for you,

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and be a voice for you in a sense. And definitely you all, as always, I'm going to always plug

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Supernatural Saturday. This past Saturday,

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And it was such a great reminder about what happens when we surrender,

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what happens when we get out of the way and really trust the Lord with the process.

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I didn't even know if you guys don't know the story yet, you will,

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when you hear a supernatural Saturday, but I know Ralph and Diana

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that Jackie talked about, I've met both of them.

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And I, Ralph was like a brother to so many of us in this community and to

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see their love story unfold and to hear now that they're moving back

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to Austin, totally incredible.

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If you all don't know my story, I said, I was never going to move.

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I have two spiritual daughters.

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That's what I call them in Lexington, Kentucky.

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And I just did not have any plan or even want to remotely move away from them.

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And Jackie just kept encouraging me to be open.

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And, uh, lo and behold, God sent me someone from Indiana and originally

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we were both open to moving.

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And then God started speaking to me that I needed to move there because his mom

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had just lost her husband like a year before.

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And, uh, I just felt like God was saying Brian needed to be near

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his mom for a little bit longer.

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And then, um, you all not even, I think I moved there in, let

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me think about this December of 21.

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By June.

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Yeah.

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By June of 22, God moved Brian to a new place in Indiana, Tipton, which

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was about an hour from his family.

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And so that was kind of interesting after I had just moved closer.

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And then just two years later, God led us to Florida.

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So I want you to understand, you know, we don't have to know the whole story.

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We don't know, have to know every step it's about trusting God

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in the process and surrendering.

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I want to encourage y'all to do that in the heart work too.

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I know some of you, you think, you know, how you have to meet your spirit mate.

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And you're like, if I don't believe this, it's not having faith y'all.

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That's not true.

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So, um, I responded to some posts in the last few days, really want to encourage

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y'all to stay very open and teachable to what God wants to do in your life.

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He writes the best love stories.

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He writes the best, um, promise and plan for our lives.

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And so what I mean by that is that you just would remain open to all of the

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coaching, all of the teaching y'all.

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We've been doing this for a while.

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Do you know how many people I've coached at this point?

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A lot.

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We see some very similar things over and over and over and people that don't have

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teachable hearts or like myself, I wasn't willing to move no matter how many times

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in the beginning, Jackie told me be open, be open.

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I'm like, nope, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.

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And then one day God was just kind of working in my heart and he was showing me.

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I was being resistant to him.

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It wasn't being resistant to Jackie and the coaching.

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I was being resistant to him.

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And so I want to encourage you to really make sure you're okay.

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Lord, what do you have for me?

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And that you don't have to be 20 steps ahead.

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You just need to walk with him today.

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Okay.

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All right.

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Well, let me pray for us.

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Father, thank you so much for this night.

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Thank you for every lady that's here.

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Everyone that's going to watch this replay.

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Yes, Lord, you know, everything that needs to be said, Lord, I just thank you for a

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fresh and filling of your spirit tonight.

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God, that your presence would be among us, that you would bring things out of

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darkness into the light that you would reveal areas for healing.

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Help us to see what we can't see.

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God, I pray that you would reveal broken areas of their hearts, Lord, where they

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didn't even know there was brokenness.

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Even someone this last week, I read a post where they didn't even know they

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had mother wounds until that came up as a topic in the last few weeks.

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So God, I ask you to heal these wounds that are being revealed, that are

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surfacing, sometimes it can be painful.

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God, we know that you are the great physician.

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Nothing is too hard for you.

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Your word declares that you will comfort the broken hearted and

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those who are crushed in spirit.

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God, even the pain of the past that it was just so overwhelming for us to deal

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with God, would you go into the little girl versions of who we are and who we

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were, would you go back there and heal those places?

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God, we thank you that you're, you're, you're just so good.

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You're so loving.

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You're so kind.

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God, we ask you to hug the little girl and every woman tonight in a supernatural way.

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God help them to feel your embrace.

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And we just thank you in advance for everything that you're going to do tonight

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and in the days to come in Jesus name.

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Amen.

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Amen.

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Welcome to everyone else that has logged on since we started talking.

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If you can come on screen tonight, we would love to see you.

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Um, anybody new for your first time tonight, you've never logged in for

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a live session before tonight.

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We'd love to see you, uh, say hi to us in the chat so we can welcome you everyone.

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Coming back. Welcome back. Hi, Sarah, I see some other faces have come on screen. Alina,

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Cherish, Arlene, Aylin. I'm welcoming everybody. Isabel, even people that aren't on screen. Roseanne,

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love you guys. So glad everybody is here. Just taking a few moments just to try to recognize

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a couple people. Tonight we're talking about the broken heart. Okay, so we're not talking about the

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heart in general. We're going to talk about the broken heart and how the broken heart tends to

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lead us astray. As you guys go through the heart work, you're going to learn a lot about what we

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call counterfeit identities. A counterfeit identity, several, I'm sure of it, years ago led

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me to marry someone that was massively abusive and then date several other people after that

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that were also very abusive. The men that I attracted and dated often have very similar

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things about them. Alcoholics, addictions, you know, betrayal, those kind of things.

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Hi, welcome. I don't know if she was saying hi to us, but that hi, God. Hi, everybody.

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But anyways, I just want you guys to understand sometimes there's these similar threads to

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who we attract, and it's often because it's stuff that we can't even see or we don't know

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that we still need healing from. And at the core was all the abuse stuff, okay? And at the core of

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that was that I didn't really value myself the way I should have because I didn't really know how to.

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It was that I didn't know my true identity. And so if we don't know those things, we're going to

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struggle to attract healthy people. All right, so tonight, the goal isn't to have everything done,

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but it is to take one step further into a healthy version of yourself. The fullness of who God

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originally created you to be. What we would love for all of you is that, you know, the original

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who God created you to be and who you are tonight to continue to converge where you lose a little

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bit more of those counterfeit identities and you rediscover in a fresh way who God originally

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called you to be. So remember that trauma doesn't just hurt us. It creates different versions of us.

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So that's where the counterfeit identities come from. One of the trickiest things I remember

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when I first started learning this and I was like, so the real me didn't pick those people.

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So was I being like when, when I thought God was talking to me, was I just not hearing God right?

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Like, how does that all work? Well, here's the reality is that we hear God to the best of our

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ability right now. But if I learned something new about God's character, about God's plan for me,

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about who he originally created me to be tomorrow, well, wouldn't I hear differently tomorrow?

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Because I have a new revelation at that point. So I want you to understand, you know, let's extend

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a lot of grace to yourselves. You can't know what you don't know. And in the past, I didn't know what

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I didn't know until I knew it. And so as I gained new revelation and new knowledge about who God was,

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about who he called me to be, and you know, I did my best, like I was leading people and I was being

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my genuine self. I wasn't being someone fake. But I still had this brokenness stuff in my subconscious

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that God was trying to help me heal from so that I could actually walk in true freedom, not partial,

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not limited. And again, I was living to the best of my ability to the fullness of who I was.

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But there were these times where I still would hold parts of myself back, not intentionally.

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Again, this is subconscious stuff. So what I want you all to understand tonight is that it's not like

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the mistakes that we make, like Paul talks about, why do I do the things I don't want to do?

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Well, a lot of times it's because we have these subconscious things, and areas of temptation,

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and things that hold us back from being the true version, again, of who God created us to be.

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So I want you to be thinking about tonight, and you can jot stuff down on your paper or in your

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phone as you think of it, but what is your broken heart leading you into right now that's not a part

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of your true identity? And maybe you don't know what your true identity is yet, and that's okay,

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but you're starting to learn. Some of you, I saw some awesome posts, some of you all,

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Kaylee, I was just like, my heart was bursting for you today. I don't know if she's on live tonight.

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I can just tell by the things she's writing.

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If you guys go in the group and cheer your sisters on, she had two different

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posts where there was flowers, but both of them were, you could just tell she's

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starting to experience something new.

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But the one post in particular, she said she went on this walk and she

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started seeing God in his beauty.

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And you know what, ladies, that is when I can tell that someone's

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heart is starting to awaken.

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We start to see something that was there before, and we would think it was pretty

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before, but then all of a sudden it's like a little kid with fresh eyes.

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Like you're like, Oh my gosh.

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And it's like this awe and this wonder that awakens and comes alive.

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And, and you all, that is a genuine, amazing experience.

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And if you haven't had that happen yet, I believe that it will for you.

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I don't want you to get discouraged if you haven't experienced that it's coming.

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All right.

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So I want you to think about what is your broken heart leading you into right now.

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That's not a part of your true identity.

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The identity that God gave you when he initially created you before wounds

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or trauma ever entered your life.

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All right.

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So I'm going to read a couple things for you.

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Uh, this is from the heart work book.

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I am not going to tell you what page, cause your page is going to be different

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than mine, but it's from chapter six called flies, lies, and counterfeit lives.

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I'm not going to read the whole thing, but a couple things from it.

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These lies might not become evident.

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Oh, I'm sorry.

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I'm going to back up.

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We're going to talk about the Lord of the flies really quick.

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Jackie talks about that, you know, and how flies serve this purpose

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and the decomposition process.

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What flies do is they find an unhealed wound, a sore or some place of

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decomposition, and they lay their eggs in that place.

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So the way I want you to think about this is the enemy.

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He's looking for that in road, if you will.

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He's looking for the place in us where we have trauma and wounds, the decomposing

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areas, okay, because that's where he's looking to plant the lies.

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And he does this immediately when trauma happens.

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And then he will continue to try to plant those seeds over and over and over.

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Anytime something similar happens where we relate it like, oh, the same thing is

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happening again, even subconsciously.

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And we're like, the enemy is like trying to tell us, yep, God's a liar.

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God's not a protector.

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God isn't there for you.

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And every time we partner with that lie, again, it's just kind of like, that's

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when the flies are kind of increasing, if you will, and expanding.

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So they've, they lay their eggs in those decomp, uh, decomposing areas and, and

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they do this so that when these eggs hatch, when the larvae are there, they

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have an unlimited food source.

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So I want you to think about like, even from the perspective of the wounds and

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trauma in your life, the enemy plants lies in there because it has that unlimited

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food source until we bring the light into those places in Jesus name.

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Jesus is the light of the world.

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When he comes in, we invite him into those areas as they get

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revealed and he brings light.

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Y'all darkness cannot coexist with light.

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So as soon as we, these things are revealed and we bring those into the

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light, the enemy will start to lose his power in those areas.

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Sometimes y'all does take more time than others, depending on how

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deep the lie is that you believe.

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I'm not going to go into it tonight, but that often is a representation of when

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you read in the Bible about strongholds.

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So that's why some of you, you're like, man, am I ever going to break free from

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this thing?

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Some of you, that's also because it's not just your wound and the lies you've

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been believing, but it's a generational thing that's gotten passed down.

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Now, some people get super hyper-focused on the generational

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curses, is what it's called in the Bible.

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In our community, we try to get you to focus on the opposite of that as well,

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because there's generational blessings.

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So get this, as you get set free, this is can create generational blessings

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upon blessings, and you also are already reaping generational blessings.

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If people in your family line, love the Lord, serve the Lord, prayed,

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interceded, any of those things.

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So I don't want you all to be afraid because God is always on the move and

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we can partner with that.

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So let's think, let's go back to these unhealed heart wounds and these

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traumas, these rejections that we've experienced.

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Those become ideal places again for the enemy to sow his seeds.

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Anything that gets into those places, into the deep core of our heart is

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going to get reproduced.

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So if we believe a lot of negative things about ourselves, about other

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people, about God, and that's what's in our heart, that's what's going to

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get reproduced.

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Lies might not become evident immediately, and a lot of times we're going to do the revealing

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for healing cycle next week, so just so you know, if you're wondering and need more help

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with that, we are going to do that next week.

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But sometimes people get frustrated because they don't know what the lie is, and they're

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like, I don't know what the lie is.

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Well, it's okay, just know that eventually it's going to get revealed, and God isn't

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holding out on you, it's not like He's not trying to tell you.

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But sometimes, again, even God is trying to speak to us, but we can't hear yet.

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Doesn't mean we're never going to, it just means that something is blocking us from receiving

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the understanding, not just that revelation, understanding, okay?

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Yes, I love the word yet, Amy, you guys will hear me say that about all kinds of stuff.

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If you can partner with yet, it hasn't happened yet, that doesn't mean it's not going to,

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it just means it hasn't happened yet.

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It's going to really serve you tremendously in your journey.

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Alright, so the seeds that get in there, remember, well, they're seeds, so again, anything that

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is sown into the ground is going to be reproduced.

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So I want you to think about some of you have gone through abandonment in your home, father

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left household, maybe that didn't happen for some of you, maybe it was something different,

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but I'm just going to use this as an example because it's in the book.

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Your father left the household and abandoned his responsibility towards you.

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Keep in mind, abandonment doesn't have to be physical, it can also be emotional, it

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can be spiritual or financial.

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While that would be a terrible thing to happen to any of us, the trauma doesn't even have

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to happen to us personally.

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It might have been, you know, something that happened to our grandpa or our great-grandfather

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that like his dad abandoned the family, but because it affected our mother or our father,

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they may have unconsciously passed those lies down to us.

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So this is how we inherit emotional debt and heart wounds from our families.

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Super important for you all to be aware of that.

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We don't have to go seek a bunch of stuff out, again, this is about God revealing things

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for healing, but I just want you guys to hear this stuff so that the Lord can continue to

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connect dots for you.

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Even things like, you know, just be praying about like, God, are there things that I heard

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my mom or my dad say or even my siblings that I believe today that are not your word, that

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are not true, that are not anything like you?

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And just see what God starts showing you.

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But whether it's first-hand trauma or second-hand trauma, whether it's the event itself, no

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matter what, the reality is, is that when God reveals the lies, we can get to the root

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of that, and these things can be healed, and God can bring restoration.

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But I want you to think about a couple of these.

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A lot of people that have fatherless homes or a dad that was there, but he was absent,

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because a dad can be in the home and still be absent.

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A mom can still be in the home and be absent.

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My mom was really depressed when I was young.

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I remember as a little girl making trays with food and flowers, taking them up, trying to

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cheer her up because she wouldn't get out of bed.

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And I mean, I was pretty young doing that.

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That's just one example.

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I didn't know she was depressed, but I didn't really know as a young kid, oh, my mom's depressed.

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I just knew my mom's not getting out of bed.

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And I somehow knew, I had this knowing to try to cheer her up.

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I don't even know how I knew that, you all, but see, that's how some things happen.

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But I didn't know until I was an adult, like, oh, it's not normal for your mom to stay in

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bed all day.

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Now, my mom did go to work through the week, but on the weekends, she just didn't get out

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of bed a lot.

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So it's not like my mom abandoned all of her responsibility, but during the week, what

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would happen is she would come home, and I think I told you guys this a little bit last

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week or the week before, either one.

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She would come home, and then she would just check out at night.

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So again, she would be there, but she just was not available.

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All right.

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So these are things that we can tend to believe in those dynamics, and you all might believe

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this from other situations too, but these are just a couple core ones.

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I'm worthless.

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Nobody loves me.

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I'm not a priority.

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It's my fault.

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Hold on one second.

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Men cannot be trusted.

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Maybe for some of you in my case, I didn't believe my mom could be trusted, so I didn't

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feel like I could trust women or men.

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I had a lot of things I had to work through.

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Okay, I'm going to close in the book with this. It says in the next page in this chapter, it says,

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what you believe about yourself, you become. I'm going to also say that what we believe

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about other people takes root in us and that's what's impacting as well what we believe about

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ourselves. If some of you have been abused and you took that stuff in and you believed what

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those people were saying to you, that's what's manifesting as you walk out your life. Proverbs

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23 7, for as a person thinks in his heart, so is he. So what is your heart thinking about you

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tonight? Not yesterday, not a week ago tonight. For some of you, you might be on that mountaintop

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like I was saying, which is amazing if that's where you're at. But you know, today I want you

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to even think about things that happened and were there any points where you started partnering with

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things that were not true about you. All right, I'm going to keep going. Our broken heart is what

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we call three different categories. It's a liar, it's a puzzle, it's a pretender. Again, this is

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the broken heart. A liar, a puzzle, a pretender. I'm going to talk to you guys a little bit more

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about what each one of those kind of represents. The liar, I kind of explained that already, it's

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full of lies. So our broken heart tends to be full of lies. Our broken heart also as the puzzle, I

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want you to actually imagine any puzzlers in here. Anybody else like puzzles? I like to ask this

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question because I'm a puzzler. I put some Legos together last night. It makes my husband really

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happy because he's a Lego guy. And he's out of town and he had bought me this Lego set and he'd

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been wanting me to put it together. And I figured that would be a nice little surprise. I sent him

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a shot of that. But in the same way, whether you Lego or you do puzzles of any kind, you kind of

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know you dump the pieces out. Especially for puzzles, you dump those pieces out and it's just

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all mixed up, right? Until you start to turn the pieces over. Maybe for some of you, you match it

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by color, maybe you match it by shape and you start to figure it out. But a lot of times we have a

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box, we have a picture to follow, don't we? Well, we don't have that with our hearts. And so when we

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have this puzzle, this thing that's kind of all messed up from all the pain and there's all kinds

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of brokenness in there and there's good things in there too and it just feels confusing and mixed up,

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that's what we mean. The puzzle, the broken heart can be a puzzle. And sometimes it's going to tell

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us that we want things that we don't even want. So for example, when I kept dating a guy that had

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already cheated on me multiple times and the relationship was not going towards marriage,

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I just kept waiting for the guy that I saw in the beginning to come back. I thought he was real. He

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wasn't a real, he was a real guy, but he was not being genuine. And that person never came back

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because that person really never existed. He was putting on a front in the beginning.

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And so, you know, this is where sometimes we even will eat food when we don't even want it.

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You know, there's a lot of different ways this can show up, but it's that mixed up chaotic

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feeling where you also, some of you, what just came up in my spirit is when you feel like you

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just never understand. I never understand. You're reading things, you're watching videos,

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you're hearing people, but you just feel this mixed up confusion a lot. That is the broken

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heart manifesting. I want you to know that the more your heart heals, the more that will start

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to settle. Okay? It should. Now, I don't want you to think something's wrong with you if that's not

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automatic. You know, we live in this, I talk about this in another session, but we live in this

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microwave culture even faster than that now. I mean, shoot, we put stuff in AI and like within

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seconds, it has stuff figured out for us. So how many times are we applying that method to our

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healing process or to things we're trying to learn? And the enemy just wants us to be super hard on

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ourselves because we just didn't get it in the second. You should already have this figured out

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by now. No, you all, your heart healing is the most important part of who you are.

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So why do we feel like we have to rush this thing?

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Now, do I think it has to take forever? No, but I will tell you that heart healing is a journey. I

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don't think that it's like this automatic destination. Now you guys will go through

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the heart work. You're going to get some supernatural healing here. A hundred percent.

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We believe that we pray for that for you.

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And it's going to bring release for you in ways that you didn't even know that it could.

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But even as you go, some of you guys are going to start to date in the next phases.

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Some of you are going to make some friends.

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And then you're going to see some new areas that you're like,

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Oh, I didn't even know I had that issue in there.

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You know, and that's how it should work.

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As I stepped into being engaged, as I stepped further, you know, closer to getting married, after getting married.

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I mean, there's just layers of healing that happened for us.

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Okay, going back.

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The broken heart is a liar.

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It's a puzzle.

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And then it's a pretender.

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Some of the things we want you to be thinking about and praying about.

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As a pretender, our heart often, like, leads us to put up masks.

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Maybe it tells us we want expensive things.

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Status.

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Maybe it tells us, you know, we're okay when we're not really okay.

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Or I don't need help from anybody.

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Those are those are types of masks.

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When we actually do need and want help.

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But we put up walls for so long that we just convince ourselves that it's just easier doing it by ourselves.

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A pretender also causes us to live below our true identity.

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To actually, you know, partner with the lies and to hide behind those.

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So I want you to be thinking about, you know, do you have to be the mask?

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I'm going to go back to that.

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Perfect mom.

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Perfect daughter.

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Perfect friend.

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Perfect whatever.

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Fill in the blank.

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There are other masks that I believe as well.

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Workaholic.

430
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:47.000
Now y'all, I believe.

431
00:31:47.000 --> 00:31:49.000
I love to achieve things.

432
00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:51.000
I love to do things for the Lord.

433
00:31:51.000 --> 00:31:54.000
I enjoy having nice things.

434
00:31:54.000 --> 00:31:56.000
This isn't about not having nice things.

435
00:31:56.000 --> 00:32:00.000
So please don't think I'm talking about having a poverty mindset.

436
00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:10.000
But I do think that sometimes people think that having a title and accomplishing certain types of things gives them a certain status.

437
00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:15.000
And that they seek it out not just for sake of moving forward in things.

438
00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:17.000
But there's this drive.

439
00:32:17.000 --> 00:32:23.000
You know, when you're striving for something and you feel this like, not just like, oh, I want to accomplish something.

440
00:32:23.000 --> 00:32:34.000
But there's something on the inside of you that is driving you to literally push yourself beyond your limits to try to accomplish something.

441
00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:44.000
Because you think it's going to cause you to be accepted or loved or acknowledged in some kind of way that you need.

442
00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:47.000
And you cannot be satisfied without it.

443
00:32:47.000 --> 00:32:51.000
Those are the kind of things that I want you to be thinking about.

444
00:32:53.000 --> 00:32:56.000
Because again, it's not bad for us to want degrees.

445
00:32:56.000 --> 00:32:59.000
It's not bad for us to want to accomplish things, y'all.

446
00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:10.000
But when that becomes the primary focus and then there's this inner drive, we accomplish one thing and then that still doesn't satisfy and we keep pushing.

447
00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:15.000
To get mom or dad's attention, like, you know, as a little kid, we're like, look at me, look at me.

448
00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:16.000
And we want that.

449
00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:18.000
We want that acknowledgement.

450
00:33:18.000 --> 00:33:19.000
Daddy, look.

451
00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:20.000
Mommy, look.

452
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:26.000
Well, if that didn't get met in us, y'all, the reality is, is that is still in there.

453
00:33:27.000 --> 00:33:30.000
And that manifests in these ways as well.

454
00:33:31.000 --> 00:33:38.000
And you might not know that it's you doing that as a little girl on the inside of yourself.

455
00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:46.000
Because sometimes we don't even recognize that that's the core of what's really going on when we're doing certain things.

456
00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:50.000
So again, this is all about praying and asking God to give you revelation.

457
00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:54.000
Jeremiah 17 verse 9 says this,

458
00:33:54.000 --> 00:33:59.000
The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked who can know it.

459
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:02.000
Proverbs 4.23 in the ESV says,

460
00:34:08.000 --> 00:34:11.000
So I want you to really remember your heart is impressionable.

461
00:34:11.000 --> 00:34:15.000
Again, as I was saying, anything that's planted in there is going to get reproduced.

462
00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:20.000
Well, anything going in there is also going to bring this impression upon it.

463
00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:23.000
So our hearts are very capable of being easily impressed.

464
00:34:23.000 --> 00:34:29.000
You know, so that when things come in, it can shift what we believe and think about ourselves and other people and about God.

465
00:34:29.000 --> 00:34:31.000
All right, so I'm going to go through a couple lies.

466
00:34:31.000 --> 00:34:33.000
I'm going to go through them really fast.

467
00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:37.000
I put this together, I don't know, almost two years ago now.

468
00:34:37.000 --> 00:34:42.000
And I have found it to be very effective to help people get some revelation.

469
00:34:42.000 --> 00:34:43.000
Okay.

470
00:34:43.000 --> 00:34:44.000
All right.

471
00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:47.000
Are you hearing lies like, I'm going to go through seven different ones.

472
00:34:47.000 --> 00:34:50.000
There's probably so many more you all, but these are, there's,

473
00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:55.000
I'm going to tell you why I'm sharing these seven lies at the end of when I share them here.

474
00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:59.000
Lie number one, you are insignificant.

475
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.740
You are insignificant.

476
00:35:04.740 --> 00:35:10.480
The definition of being insignificant is not significant, lacking meaning, not even worth

477
00:35:10.480 --> 00:35:14.280
considering unimportant.

478
00:35:14.280 --> 00:35:17.480
Did anyone ever tell you that you weren't important?

479
00:35:17.480 --> 00:35:24.400
Now maybe they didn't verbally say, hey Arlene, you're not important, but maybe their actions

480
00:35:24.400 --> 00:35:31.400
or their lack of actions caused you to believe the lie that you were not important.

481
00:35:31.400 --> 00:35:35.020
You were not, you guys might hear the flip side, you're not a priority, you're never

482
00:35:35.020 --> 00:35:36.600
a priority for God.

483
00:35:36.600 --> 00:35:39.040
You know, God blesses everybody else but you.

484
00:35:39.040 --> 00:35:44.140
Y'all, those are all the same kind of underlying theme.

485
00:35:44.140 --> 00:35:51.920
Lie number two, you don't matter, kind of partners with lie number one a lot.

486
00:35:51.920 --> 00:36:05.040
So some of you have siblings that you believe your parent put first and still puts first

487
00:36:05.040 --> 00:36:13.720
and so the enemy lies to you and says you don't matter, you're not a priority.

488
00:36:13.720 --> 00:36:17.880
My mom went live on social media, not live, like not, she didn't go live on a video but

489
00:36:17.880 --> 00:36:23.080
she put up a post, this is before she passed away, there's four of us, four kids, I have

490
00:36:23.080 --> 00:36:30.440
two older brothers and an older sister and I'm technically the baby, and she put up a

491
00:36:30.440 --> 00:36:38.120
post at one point about how my one brother was her favorite kid, legit you all, pretty

492
00:36:38.120 --> 00:36:44.240
rough, was not a fun experience.

493
00:36:44.240 --> 00:36:49.600
And some of the things that my mom wrote in that, you know, the reality is my mom was

494
00:36:49.600 --> 00:36:54.420
believing lies and she was allowing that to drive her to do things like that that would

495
00:36:54.420 --> 00:36:59.080
cause her kids to then be divided against each other.

496
00:36:59.080 --> 00:37:04.600
Now, I knew enough to know that's what was going on but you better believe I stood up

497
00:37:04.600 --> 00:37:08.360
for myself and said why would you do that?

498
00:37:08.360 --> 00:37:12.520
You know, this is stuff, if we have stuff to deal with as a family, this is stuff you

499
00:37:12.520 --> 00:37:16.440
deal with behind, you know, you don't put that stuff out there.

500
00:37:16.440 --> 00:37:23.400
Anyways, my mom was not able to receive that, y'all, it didn't get better, it got worse.

501
00:37:23.400 --> 00:37:28.480
Unfortunately, you know, I had a lot of that stuff before my mom passed away, the day that

502
00:37:28.480 --> 00:37:32.760
she passed away was one of the first times in a long time that she told me she was really

503
00:37:32.760 --> 00:37:38.640
proud of me and she like said all kinds of stuff to me about like, you know, things that

504
00:37:38.640 --> 00:37:44.920
she believed for me, things that I really hadn't heard her say in many, many years.

505
00:37:44.920 --> 00:37:49.040
So I want you to know like some of this stuff I'm saying is out of the things that I've

506
00:37:49.040 --> 00:37:54.400
walked through and I know what it caused me to, like the lies that the enemy was presenting

507
00:37:54.400 --> 00:37:56.800
to me when these things were happening.

508
00:37:56.800 --> 00:38:02.200
Now yours might be different but I just, again, I'm using this hopefully to help you lean

509
00:38:02.200 --> 00:38:06.880
into what happened in your life and what did it cause you to believe.

510
00:38:06.880 --> 00:38:13.440
Lie number three, you should be seen and not heard.

511
00:38:13.440 --> 00:38:16.080
You should be seen and not heard.

512
00:38:16.080 --> 00:38:22.360
Now, people don't say this really out loud to their kids anymore.

513
00:38:22.360 --> 00:38:26.880
Back in the day, that was something that actually was said a lot.

514
00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:30.200
Now, now think of it this way though.

515
00:38:30.200 --> 00:38:34.240
We do still say it.

516
00:38:34.240 --> 00:38:39.360
And I don't want you guys to think I'm against cell phones, okay, when I say this, but when

517
00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:47.760
we give a kid a phone or a device and we just tell them to be quiet, y'all it's the same

518
00:38:47.760 --> 00:38:49.520
thing.

519
00:38:49.520 --> 00:38:52.760
It's the same thing.

520
00:38:52.760 --> 00:39:00.320
So we need to be aware of what we're doing and how our actions are speaking things to

521
00:39:00.320 --> 00:39:01.680
people.

522
00:39:01.680 --> 00:39:06.920
And then also what did people do that caused us to believe certain things that are still

523
00:39:06.920 --> 00:39:09.480
harming us today?

524
00:39:09.480 --> 00:39:12.640
Lie number four, you're not enough.

525
00:39:12.640 --> 00:39:15.880
A lot of times two lies partner together.

526
00:39:15.880 --> 00:39:18.160
You're not enough or you're too much.

527
00:39:18.160 --> 00:39:19.320
They tend to hang out.

528
00:39:19.320 --> 00:39:25.560
So for me, it was like sometimes I'd be fighting and warring against you're not enough, you're

529
00:39:25.560 --> 00:39:26.560
not enough.

530
00:39:26.560 --> 00:39:28.400
And then it would be like, you're too much, you're too much.

531
00:39:28.400 --> 00:39:30.920
And too much would show up in all different kinds of ways.

532
00:39:30.920 --> 00:39:33.760
Like you're too serious.

533
00:39:33.760 --> 00:39:37.920
You're too, you're trying to be like, you're too spiritual and these people don't like

534
00:39:37.920 --> 00:39:38.920
that.

535
00:39:38.920 --> 00:39:42.400
And, you know, like even sometimes I have to fight against that regarding preaching

536
00:39:42.400 --> 00:39:43.400
in church.

537
00:39:43.400 --> 00:39:46.920
Like, you know, people don't want a woman, a woman preaching, you know, it just shows

538
00:39:46.920 --> 00:39:49.580
up in all kinds of ways.

539
00:39:49.580 --> 00:39:54.840
You're not enough would show up in like, okay, you're not, you know, getting good enough

540
00:39:54.840 --> 00:39:55.840
grades.

541
00:39:55.840 --> 00:39:57.040
You're not being a good enough wife.

542
00:39:57.040 --> 00:39:59.960
You're not, you know, being a good enough mom, like just.

543
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.360
So many layers, even at work.

544
00:40:02.360 --> 00:40:05.160
I think some of the posts I've seen from you all,

545
00:40:05.160 --> 00:40:07.980
I know that there are some of you struggling with that.

546
00:40:07.980 --> 00:40:09.960
Even though you're successful,

547
00:40:09.960 --> 00:40:12.640
there's something deep inside still telling you

548
00:40:12.640 --> 00:40:13.480
that you're not enough.

549
00:40:13.480 --> 00:40:14.620
You haven't achieved enough.

550
00:40:14.620 --> 00:40:16.240
Again, those very similar.

551
00:40:16.240 --> 00:40:19.460
Line number five, your opinion doesn't matter.

552
00:40:21.140 --> 00:40:23.740
This can manifest in a lot of different ways, ladies.

553
00:40:23.740 --> 00:40:26.060
But for those of you that do not believe

554
00:40:26.060 --> 00:40:29.140
that your voice matters,

555
00:40:29.140 --> 00:40:30.980
somewhere underneath the surface,

556
00:40:30.980 --> 00:40:33.740
you also believe that your opinion doesn't matter,

557
00:40:33.740 --> 00:40:35.660
or the thoughts that you have,

558
00:40:35.660 --> 00:40:39.320
or the experiences that you've been through do not matter.

559
00:40:42.140 --> 00:40:42.980
Yeah.

560
00:40:44.780 --> 00:40:49.780
So, what about if we shift that and really start believing?

561
00:40:50.300 --> 00:40:52.420
I think more of you people,

562
00:40:52.420 --> 00:40:53.820
sorry, I didn't mean it to be like that.

563
00:40:53.860 --> 00:40:57.260
More of you ladies, I think would post in the group

564
00:40:57.260 --> 00:41:01.700
if you believed that what you have to say matters.

565
00:41:05.140 --> 00:41:06.620
I really do.

566
00:41:06.620 --> 00:41:08.180
Some of you, again, I love you.

567
00:41:08.180 --> 00:41:11.260
I know why some people are in this course

568
00:41:11.260 --> 00:41:14.140
and we will never hear one thing from them.

569
00:41:14.140 --> 00:41:17.100
And I want you to know it's okay, we understand.

570
00:41:17.100 --> 00:41:19.800
But I also wanna invite you to come out of that place.

571
00:41:20.800 --> 00:41:24.540
Because what you're saying matters.

572
00:41:25.600 --> 00:41:27.960
Y'all, just simply like people that, you know,

573
00:41:27.960 --> 00:41:30.600
we're coaching and we're helping you through stuff,

574
00:41:30.600 --> 00:41:32.920
that when other people read what you're getting

575
00:41:32.920 --> 00:41:34.600
breakthrough in or what you're processing,

576
00:41:34.600 --> 00:41:35.540
it's helping them.

577
00:41:35.540 --> 00:41:37.600
When other people are reading your wins

578
00:41:37.600 --> 00:41:41.160
and the things you're experiencing, that's helping them.

579
00:41:41.160 --> 00:41:44.720
It's all, it's all good stuff.

580
00:41:44.720 --> 00:41:47.620
And God can work it all together for good.

581
00:41:48.620 --> 00:41:52.300
Lie number six, you're always going to have to beg.

582
00:41:53.740 --> 00:41:55.860
Maybe it doesn't come exactly like that.

583
00:41:55.860 --> 00:41:58.420
But again, this is like, you know,

584
00:41:58.420 --> 00:41:59.900
people that believe the lie

585
00:41:59.900 --> 00:42:03.020
that God is just dangling a carrot and you just have to beg.

586
00:42:03.020 --> 00:42:08.020
And if you're good enough, then I'll give it to you.

587
00:42:08.180 --> 00:42:09.680
But then you just believe the lie

588
00:42:09.680 --> 00:42:11.220
that you're never good enough.

589
00:42:11.220 --> 00:42:12.700
So again, those kind of,

590
00:42:12.700 --> 00:42:14.620
all these things are kind of hanging out together.

591
00:42:14.620 --> 00:42:16.700
Here's lie number seven.

592
00:42:16.780 --> 00:42:20.980
If they really knew me, they would not accept me,

593
00:42:20.980 --> 00:42:23.380
love me, choose me.

594
00:42:25.660 --> 00:42:28.080
I want you all to think about at the core,

595
00:42:28.980 --> 00:42:31.740
are any of you currently believing

596
00:42:31.740 --> 00:42:35.580
that a guy would not love you fully

597
00:42:35.580 --> 00:42:37.100
and accept you and choose you

598
00:42:37.100 --> 00:42:40.840
if he knew whatever your sin struggle is?

599
00:42:42.780 --> 00:42:45.220
Some people believe that men won't choose them

600
00:42:45.220 --> 00:42:46.600
because they have a kid.

601
00:42:47.620 --> 00:42:49.280
And so they think they got to pick guys

602
00:42:49.280 --> 00:42:51.420
that treat them like crap.

603
00:42:51.420 --> 00:42:53.620
No, there are good men that will love your kids.

604
00:42:53.620 --> 00:42:56.500
And I love to say it this way too.

605
00:42:56.500 --> 00:43:01.380
You all, I haven't had a biological kid of my own yet.

606
00:43:02.620 --> 00:43:07.620
But you better believe I have been able in every way

607
00:43:08.680 --> 00:43:11.740
to love someone else's kids as my own.

608
00:43:13.660 --> 00:43:14.880
Now that's my heart.

609
00:43:15.640 --> 00:43:20.640
If that is who I am, God made me to be a mother.

610
00:43:20.640 --> 00:43:22.940
I've never tried to take the place of their mother,

611
00:43:22.940 --> 00:43:25.440
but I've absolutely loved them like they're mine.

612
00:43:26.800 --> 00:43:29.680
And if God can enable me to do that,

613
00:43:29.680 --> 00:43:33.320
don't you think God can enable a man to do the same thing?

614
00:43:33.320 --> 00:43:34.300
Yes, he can.

615
00:43:35.640 --> 00:43:37.600
My girls love Brian.

616
00:43:41.320 --> 00:43:44.240
And they're so grateful for the example that he is.

617
00:43:45.560 --> 00:43:48.840
Now they're older, but he's still an example to them

618
00:43:48.840 --> 00:43:51.920
and they're still happy that he's here.

619
00:43:51.920 --> 00:43:54.480
So if that has been stuff you've been believing,

620
00:43:54.480 --> 00:43:56.600
I just want to kind of debunk all that.

621
00:43:57.440 --> 00:44:01.120
And you're not counted out from having a really great guy

622
00:44:01.120 --> 00:44:03.640
who's healthy, who loves the Lord,

623
00:44:03.640 --> 00:44:07.220
who's marriage-minded, masculine, and mature

624
00:44:07.220 --> 00:44:09.840
because you have a kid or you have some kind of struggle

625
00:44:09.840 --> 00:44:11.280
that you've had in the past.

626
00:44:13.120 --> 00:44:14.840
Okay?

627
00:44:15.640 --> 00:44:19.120
So at the core of all these lies I've mentioned tonight,

628
00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:24.320
every single one of these lies point to several things.

629
00:44:24.320 --> 00:44:26.080
Doesn't mean you have all of these,

630
00:44:27.040 --> 00:44:30.500
but in some way, shape, or form, at least from my experience,

631
00:44:30.500 --> 00:44:33.300
they point to low self-esteem,

632
00:44:33.300 --> 00:44:36.840
not understanding our value or our worth,

633
00:44:36.840 --> 00:44:39.660
and then pauper or orphan mentalities.

634
00:44:41.080 --> 00:44:42.340
And if you're not sure what those are,

635
00:44:42.340 --> 00:44:44.660
we can kind of go into that more another time,

636
00:44:45.480 --> 00:44:48.940
but those are basically like any kind of a belief system

637
00:44:48.940 --> 00:44:52.280
that causes you to feel like you're limited.

638
00:44:52.280 --> 00:44:53.740
Some of you believe you're stuck

639
00:44:53.740 --> 00:44:56.660
and you're never going to be able to move forward.

640
00:44:56.660 --> 00:44:59.980
Like you're here, but you just really even having

641
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.240
giving yourself permission to move forward.

642
00:45:02.240 --> 00:45:04.200
Some of you have done the hard work

643
00:45:04.200 --> 00:45:07.000
and you're like just not moving forward

644
00:45:07.000 --> 00:45:09.620
even though God has said you can move forward.

645
00:45:14.120 --> 00:45:19.120
I said orphan, pauper, like a P-A-U-P-E-R.

646
00:45:19.120 --> 00:45:21.520
I know it's kind of hard to hear sometimes when I say it.

647
00:45:21.520 --> 00:45:25.280
So like think of someone who believes they're a slave

648
00:45:25.280 --> 00:45:28.360
or that they have nothing.

649
00:45:28.360 --> 00:45:29.740
I don't know why this helps me,

650
00:45:29.740 --> 00:45:34.500
but sometimes, I don't know if you guys remember the old,

651
00:45:34.500 --> 00:45:35.500
this just came to my mind,

652
00:45:35.500 --> 00:45:37.740
the old Robin Hood way back in the day.

653
00:45:37.740 --> 00:45:39.980
For the younger ladies, you may not know,

654
00:45:39.980 --> 00:45:42.100
but the one with Kevin Costner.

655
00:45:42.100 --> 00:45:43.820
Y'all, I loved Kevin Costner.

656
00:45:43.820 --> 00:45:44.940
I didn't love, love, you know,

657
00:45:44.940 --> 00:45:46.340
but like I really liked him,

658
00:45:46.340 --> 00:45:48.180
but the movie when he was in it.

659
00:45:48.180 --> 00:45:52.940
And Christian, what was that guy's name?

660
00:45:52.940 --> 00:45:54.660
Anyways, he was the younger brother.

661
00:45:54.660 --> 00:45:57.540
The reason I'm bringing this up is at one point,

662
00:45:57.540 --> 00:45:59.500
he gets on all, yes, Christian Slater,

663
00:46:00.260 --> 00:46:01.100
he gets on all these regs.

664
00:46:01.100 --> 00:46:02.580
I have no clue why this has come up,

665
00:46:02.580 --> 00:46:04.700
but I'm just gonna give this example.

666
00:46:04.700 --> 00:46:08.540
And then he puts like poop on himself,

667
00:46:08.540 --> 00:46:11.220
like dung to smell really bad

668
00:46:11.220 --> 00:46:13.500
because when he walked through,

669
00:46:13.500 --> 00:46:18.380
he was trying to like pretend that he was like

670
00:46:18.380 --> 00:46:21.500
the lowliest low so that nobody would wanna

671
00:46:21.500 --> 00:46:23.080
even have him near them.

672
00:46:25.380 --> 00:46:28.060
Now, maybe you don't think

673
00:46:28.060 --> 00:46:30.540
that that's how you view yourself,

674
00:46:30.540 --> 00:46:33.700
but some of you are living your life

675
00:46:33.700 --> 00:46:38.700
like on the inside as if you've got dung on yourself.

676
00:46:41.420 --> 00:46:43.420
Like you're not worthy of anybody

677
00:46:43.420 --> 00:46:47.500
to actually pay attention to who you are.

678
00:46:49.340 --> 00:46:52.780
You're kind of, that's that pauper, that lowly of low.

679
00:46:52.780 --> 00:46:55.580
And so no matter where you go,

680
00:46:55.580 --> 00:46:58.460
that's how you show up on the inside.

681
00:46:58.460 --> 00:46:59.940
I'll never forget one of the,

682
00:46:59.940 --> 00:47:03.020
I used to work for a wealth and trust management company.

683
00:47:03.020 --> 00:47:06.560
And as I was growing in that company and got promoted,

684
00:47:07.580 --> 00:47:11.140
I ended up having to go and start like,

685
00:47:11.140 --> 00:47:13.420
not just be at the events and set up and leave,

686
00:47:13.420 --> 00:47:16.480
but then I had to be there to then also entertain

687
00:47:16.480 --> 00:47:18.420
the clients with the other staff.

688
00:47:18.420 --> 00:47:20.540
And I'll never forget, these are people,

689
00:47:20.540 --> 00:47:22.340
you all, a wealth and trust management company,

690
00:47:22.340 --> 00:47:23.180
if you're not aware,

691
00:47:23.180 --> 00:47:27.180
they tend to manage large amounts of money for people, okay?

692
00:47:27.180 --> 00:47:30.780
So the clients that would come, some of them,

693
00:47:30.780 --> 00:47:34.340
a lot of them would be millionaires,

694
00:47:34.340 --> 00:47:37.060
people with a lot of money.

695
00:47:37.060 --> 00:47:39.940
And I can remember going into that,

696
00:47:39.940 --> 00:47:44.620
like those scenarios feeling like I didn't belong there.

697
00:47:46.700 --> 00:47:48.980
Anyone know what I'm talking about right now?

698
00:47:50.160 --> 00:47:52.380
Maybe you haven't been in that exact situation,

699
00:47:52.380 --> 00:47:55.660
but you walk into another room and you feel like,

700
00:47:55.660 --> 00:47:57.300
I don't really belong here.

701
00:47:57.300 --> 00:48:02.260
I'm here, but I can't ever be what they are.

702
00:48:04.380 --> 00:48:07.780
I can't ever have what they have.

703
00:48:07.780 --> 00:48:10.320
Y'all, that's pauper mentalities.

704
00:48:10.320 --> 00:48:12.380
That's limiting belief systems.

705
00:48:15.620 --> 00:48:19.260
I may not have yet a million dollars,

706
00:48:19.260 --> 00:48:21.980
but y'all better believe I'm saving things.

707
00:48:22.540 --> 00:48:24.900
I'm trading stocks now.

708
00:48:24.900 --> 00:48:26.020
I'm on my way.

709
00:48:27.020 --> 00:48:28.660
It's not just about the money either.

710
00:48:28.660 --> 00:48:30.900
I don't want you to think this is just about the money.

711
00:48:30.900 --> 00:48:35.900
It's about, I had to believe that I belonged there.

712
00:48:38.340 --> 00:48:41.420
And then it caused like my confidence

713
00:48:41.420 --> 00:48:43.500
that I gained on the inside,

714
00:48:43.500 --> 00:48:46.360
just from talking to people and understanding,

715
00:48:46.360 --> 00:48:48.060
a lot of times, y'all,

716
00:48:48.060 --> 00:48:49.720
they weren't that much different than me.

717
00:48:49.720 --> 00:48:51.740
Now, maybe they came from a different background.

718
00:48:52.580 --> 00:48:55.460
Because you don't really learn that about everybody.

719
00:48:55.460 --> 00:48:58.300
But when I stopped acting like I didn't belong

720
00:48:58.300 --> 00:49:00.460
and I grew in confidence,

721
00:49:00.460 --> 00:49:02.460
I had some really intelligent conversations

722
00:49:02.460 --> 00:49:07.340
with those people because I showed up more fully as myself.

723
00:49:09.140 --> 00:49:12.780
Yeah, sometimes we believe we're like this intruder.

724
00:49:12.780 --> 00:49:15.240
Okay, so I want you to think about that.

725
00:49:15.240 --> 00:49:19.380
Y'all, I have not gone this far into this in a long time.

726
00:49:19.380 --> 00:49:21.520
So I feel like this is gonna really help some people

727
00:49:22.300 --> 00:49:23.560
get set free from some stuff.

728
00:49:23.560 --> 00:49:25.480
When you're showing up in places

729
00:49:25.480 --> 00:49:29.880
and you automatically feel insecure like that,

730
00:49:29.880 --> 00:49:32.280
I want you to pay attention to that.

731
00:49:32.280 --> 00:49:33.840
When is that showing up?

732
00:49:33.840 --> 00:49:36.300
What are the lies that you're hearing?

733
00:49:36.300 --> 00:49:38.960
When we hear things like, I don't belong here,

734
00:49:38.960 --> 00:49:41.240
or I'm an intruder, or any of that kind of stuff,

735
00:49:41.240 --> 00:49:43.720
what is really going on on the inside?

736
00:49:43.720 --> 00:49:45.240
Where is that coming from?

737
00:49:45.240 --> 00:49:47.240
Remember, you don't have to figure this out.

738
00:49:47.240 --> 00:49:49.580
We have to ask God really good questions.

739
00:49:50.420 --> 00:49:54.380
God, I'm feeling really awkward right now.

740
00:49:54.380 --> 00:49:56.060
I'm feeling really insecure.

741
00:49:56.060 --> 00:49:57.680
Where is this coming from?

742
00:49:58.820 --> 00:50:00.820
And even if he doesn't answer you right now,

743
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.560
Right then, He is going to reveal those things to you.

744
00:50:03.560 --> 00:50:04.960
All right, let's keep going.

745
00:50:06.240 --> 00:50:08.680
Proverbs 12, 49, a wife of noble characters

746
00:50:08.680 --> 00:50:10.880
or husband's crown.

747
00:50:10.880 --> 00:50:13.320
Ephesians 1, 5, in love He predestined us

748
00:50:13.320 --> 00:50:15.400
for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ

749
00:50:15.400 --> 00:50:18.600
in accordance with His pleasure and His will.

750
00:50:18.600 --> 00:50:22.240
Isaiah 43, 4, since you are precious and honored in my sight

751
00:50:22.240 --> 00:50:25.280
and because I love you, this is God talking to them,

752
00:50:25.280 --> 00:50:27.420
I will give people in exchange for you.

753
00:50:27.420 --> 00:50:31.540
I will give nations in exchange for your life.

754
00:50:33.500 --> 00:50:38.500
Luke 12, 7, indeed, the very hairs of your head, Sarah,

755
00:50:40.180 --> 00:50:42.080
are all numbered.

756
00:50:42.080 --> 00:50:43.980
Don't be afraid.

757
00:50:43.980 --> 00:50:46.420
You are worth more than sparrows.

758
00:50:48.180 --> 00:50:49.960
We are precious to God.

759
00:50:51.420 --> 00:50:52.540
He'll fight for us.

760
00:50:52.540 --> 00:50:55.360
He does fight for us and He will provide for us

761
00:50:55.360 --> 00:50:57.080
and He will go before us

762
00:50:57.080 --> 00:51:00.840
and He literally knows every hair that's on our head.

763
00:51:01.820 --> 00:51:04.080
So tonight, your question to go into the breakout room

764
00:51:04.080 --> 00:51:05.580
is what broken heart aspect

765
00:51:05.580 --> 00:51:07.760
do you relate to the most tonight?

766
00:51:07.760 --> 00:51:11.500
The liar, the puzzle, the pretender.

767
00:51:12.600 --> 00:51:14.200
Talk about if you have masks

768
00:51:14.200 --> 00:51:17.480
that you've been hiding behind, how do those show up?

769
00:51:17.480 --> 00:51:18.800
Maybe you need to talk about all of them.

770
00:51:18.800 --> 00:51:21.560
I don't know, but you'll have a couple minutes.

771
00:51:21.560 --> 00:51:24.680
So I'm gonna go ahead and get those set up.

772
00:51:24.720 --> 00:51:25.960
Hold on one sec.

773
00:51:29.240 --> 00:51:31.760
Should be a really great conversation tonight.

774
00:51:31.760 --> 00:51:33.240
I know a lot of people get nervous.

775
00:51:33.240 --> 00:51:34.080
Well, I shouldn't say a lot.

776
00:51:34.080 --> 00:51:36.360
I think people are getting better about the breakout rooms.

777
00:51:36.360 --> 00:51:38.360
I know some of you get nervous about this.

778
00:51:38.360 --> 00:51:41.260
Don't check out, stay here, don't leave

779
00:51:41.260 --> 00:51:43.880
because it's gonna bring breakthrough for some of you

780
00:51:43.880 --> 00:51:46.360
in ways you couldn't even imagine it.

781
00:51:46.360 --> 00:51:50.060
All right, let's do, yeah, let's still go on.

782
00:51:50.060 --> 00:51:51.560
We're gonna do seven minutes.

783
00:51:51.560 --> 00:51:52.840
All right, you're gonna go ahead and click this.

784
00:51:52.840 --> 00:51:53.920
When it shows up in your screen,

785
00:51:53.920 --> 00:51:55.800
you're gonna join those rooms as quick as you can.

786
00:51:55.800 --> 00:51:57.400
Here you go.

787
00:51:57.400 --> 00:52:00.280
You're talking about what part of your heart,

788
00:52:00.280 --> 00:52:03.280
broken heart, do you resonate the most with tonight?

789
00:52:03.280 --> 00:52:05.440
Gonna join those as quick as you can.

790
00:52:24.920 --> 00:52:26.840
All right, and I just need to make sure

791
00:52:26.840 --> 00:52:29.560
I've got two ladies in every room.

792
00:52:30.680 --> 00:52:32.240
All right, thank you, Father,

793
00:52:32.240 --> 00:52:34.280
for everything that's happening tonight.

794
00:52:35.720 --> 00:52:39.160
Lord, I thank you that even with that example

795
00:52:39.160 --> 00:52:40.960
that came up from that movie, Lord,

796
00:52:41.960 --> 00:52:43.360
where women might believe that,

797
00:52:43.360 --> 00:52:45.800
and even if they don't say that they believe

798
00:52:45.800 --> 00:52:48.080
they have dung on them or whatever, Lord,

799
00:52:48.080 --> 00:52:50.040
I pray that if there are any areas

800
00:52:50.040 --> 00:52:54.960
where we've just been living below

801
00:52:56.600 --> 00:52:58.120
what you have for us, God,

802
00:52:58.120 --> 00:53:01.680
that we are walking in those orphan mentalities,

803
00:53:01.680 --> 00:53:03.000
those pauper mindsets,

804
00:53:03.000 --> 00:53:07.960
that we feel like an outsider in any way, shape, or form.

805
00:53:07.960 --> 00:53:10.260
Lord, I thank you that you would show us, Lord,

806
00:53:10.260 --> 00:53:12.960
how you make us one with you, Jesus,

807
00:53:12.960 --> 00:53:16.360
as you're one with the Father and the Holy Spirit,

808
00:53:16.360 --> 00:53:19.240
and that we always have you, that you never leave us,

809
00:53:19.240 --> 00:53:24.000
you never forsake us, you're always on our side.

810
00:53:25.400 --> 00:53:26.440
Yes, Lord.

811
00:53:31.040 --> 00:53:33.480
The game, Red Rover, Red Rover,

812
00:53:33.480 --> 00:53:37.040
let, you know, I'm gonna say, let Alice come over,

813
00:53:37.920 --> 00:53:39.720
that just came up in my spirit,

814
00:53:39.720 --> 00:53:42.560
and so I'm just gonna go with what God is showing me.

815
00:53:42.560 --> 00:53:45.280
It's like some of us are sitting and waiting

816
00:53:47.000 --> 00:53:48.200
for God to call our name,

817
00:53:48.200 --> 00:53:49.720
for someone else to call our name,

818
00:53:49.720 --> 00:53:51.680
but we don't have to.

819
00:53:51.680 --> 00:53:54.080
Like, God is always calling our name.

820
00:53:55.480 --> 00:53:58.680
And so, Lord, I just release that for everybody tonight,

821
00:54:00.520 --> 00:54:03.060
everyone that's gonna watch the replay, God,

822
00:54:03.060 --> 00:54:06.000
that they would hear your voice calling to them,

823
00:54:07.900 --> 00:54:10.880
that there's no divider line,

824
00:54:10.880 --> 00:54:14.680
God holding them on one side away from other people,

825
00:54:14.680 --> 00:54:18.360
where they are just desiring to be called, to be chosen,

826
00:54:18.360 --> 00:54:20.800
God, you've already chosen them.

827
00:54:20.800 --> 00:54:23.320
I pray that you would just reveal these areas for healing,

828
00:54:23.320 --> 00:54:27.240
God, that you would redeem every broken area.

829
00:54:27.240 --> 00:54:28.640
We thank you for the balm of Gilead

830
00:54:28.640 --> 00:54:31.320
being placed upon their hearts, their minds,

831
00:54:31.320 --> 00:54:33.880
their bodies, their spirits, and their souls.

832
00:54:35.480 --> 00:54:36.520
Yes, Lord.

833
00:54:40.280 --> 00:54:41.360
Yes, Lord.

834
00:54:41.360 --> 00:54:43.800
Lord's talking a lot tonight.

835
00:54:43.800 --> 00:54:47.200
I just saw an image of like an elevator on the first floor,

836
00:54:47.200 --> 00:54:49.840
and it was like the door kept starting to close

837
00:54:49.840 --> 00:54:51.800
and then reopening, closing,

838
00:54:51.800 --> 00:54:54.080
but it never closed all the way.

839
00:54:54.080 --> 00:54:55.840
And I just know that that's symbolizing

840
00:54:55.840 --> 00:54:57.600
someone's just feeling like they're stuck

841
00:54:57.600 --> 00:54:58.920
kind of on the first floor,

842
00:54:58.920 --> 00:55:00.360
that they've never been able.

843
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.080
go higher. And so we just break that off in Jesus name. Yes,

844
00:55:04.080 --> 00:55:08.380
Lord, you have the breaker anointing. God, you enable me to

845
00:55:08.380 --> 00:55:10.740
walk in the breaker anointing. And I hear what your spirit is

846
00:55:10.740 --> 00:55:14.940
saying. And I declare that these women will break free, God that

847
00:55:14.940 --> 00:55:19.300
they will go higher in you, God. Yes, Lord, I know that there's

848
00:55:19.300 --> 00:55:21.660
been some people in this group that have felt limited in their

849
00:55:21.660 --> 00:55:25.420
work in their jobs, they felt kind of the law of the lid. But

850
00:55:25.420 --> 00:55:28.900
God, I thank you that as we even myself at times I felt that

851
00:55:28.900 --> 00:55:32.680
thank you Lord for helping me to even say that. But I thank

852
00:55:32.680 --> 00:55:34.960
you that the more that we heal on the inside, the more

853
00:55:34.960 --> 00:55:38.260
confidence that we gain, God that you just you're the one

854
00:55:38.260 --> 00:55:42.820
that lifts us higher. God, I thank you for that. Whoo, I feel

855
00:55:42.820 --> 00:55:45.300
Lord I'm not tonight. So thank you, Lord, that you're removing

856
00:55:45.300 --> 00:55:48.260
barriers, you're removing obstacles, God, I thank you that

857
00:55:48.260 --> 00:55:52.220
you're just taking shackles and things off of people's minds

858
00:55:52.220 --> 00:55:54.660
that are causing them to partner with the lie that they cannot

859
00:55:54.660 --> 00:55:57.300
move forward, that they're always going to be stuck that

860
00:55:57.540 --> 00:56:00.220
God that no matter how much they've tried to do to move

861
00:56:00.220 --> 00:56:02.980
forward, God, they always get pulled back. We just bind and

862
00:56:02.980 --> 00:56:06.620
break that lie of the enemy off of their hearts, their minds. We

863
00:56:06.620 --> 00:56:09.340
just thank you and declare and plead the blood of Jesus Christ

864
00:56:09.380 --> 00:56:13.380
over them, that they are set free in whom he has that he has

865
00:56:13.380 --> 00:56:17.580
set free is free. Indeed. So thank you God for liberty and

866
00:56:17.580 --> 00:56:21.260
freedom and the Holy Spirit tonight. Yes, Lord, we thank you

867
00:56:21.260 --> 00:56:23.340
and breakout sessions, conversations that are

868
00:56:23.340 --> 00:56:25.860
happening, God that dots are being connected. We thank you

869
00:56:25.860 --> 00:56:28.700
even here, those that are gonna watch the replay, God, we know

870
00:56:28.700 --> 00:56:32.860
that you Yes, Lord, are working all things together for good in

871
00:56:32.860 --> 00:56:36.700
our lives to save many people alive. God, I thank you that you

872
00:56:36.700 --> 00:56:40.900
are taking every mess and you're creating masterpieces. God. Yes,

873
00:56:40.900 --> 00:56:46.940
Lord. I thank you. Huh? Must be some movie night tonight because

874
00:56:46.940 --> 00:56:50.940
I just saw the scene from Ariel, you know, where, um, you know,

875
00:56:50.940 --> 00:56:53.940
she had already had her voice taken from this, you know, the

876
00:56:53.940 --> 00:56:58.500
evil sea witch. But the scene where, you know, the thing gets

877
00:56:58.500 --> 00:57:01.580
thrown and it lands underneath the bird and she starts to get

878
00:57:01.580 --> 00:57:05.220
her voice back. But what we see in that movie is, you know, that

879
00:57:05.220 --> 00:57:08.140
voice box, if you will, is glowing and she's starting to

880
00:57:08.140 --> 00:57:11.980
get her voice back. So I just believe God tonight is giving

881
00:57:11.980 --> 00:57:17.260
people's voices back. God, we thank you. Not only will some

882
00:57:17.260 --> 00:57:20.260
people be declaring and speaking things that they've never been

883
00:57:20.260 --> 00:57:23.100
able to talk about before, but people are going to walk in

884
00:57:23.100 --> 00:57:26.580
confidence. God, I even, I just sense people just that have a

885
00:57:26.580 --> 00:57:30.580
singing gift. I just declare that if people have desire to

886
00:57:30.580 --> 00:57:34.460
sing, um, maybe be worship leaders, God, we just release

887
00:57:34.460 --> 00:57:37.220
them into the divine destiny and the plan that you have for them.

888
00:57:37.660 --> 00:57:41.620
Yes, Lord. Maybe even some of them leaders in boardrooms, um,

889
00:57:41.700 --> 00:57:45.140
nonprofit organizations, people that are going to, yes, lead

890
00:57:45.140 --> 00:57:50.060
with influence. And we just thank you, God. Yes, Lord. So

891
00:57:50.060 --> 00:57:52.700
many of these ladies, we thank you for their kingdom families

892
00:57:52.700 --> 00:57:56.260
and marriages that are going to come. We thank you, God, that

893
00:57:56.260 --> 00:57:59.860
you would increase their hope and their faith, God, where they

894
00:57:59.980 --> 00:58:03.020
don't have belief. We thank you that you would help their

895
00:58:03.020 --> 00:58:06.260
belief, God, that you would give them the gift of faith that you

896
00:58:06.260 --> 00:58:09.820
would impart into them fresh faith. Yes, Lord. When we

897
00:58:09.820 --> 00:58:13.980
struggle to believe, open our eyes, Lord, give us faith. Help

898
00:58:13.980 --> 00:58:17.260
us to trust you. Help us to see the places that you're already

899
00:58:17.260 --> 00:58:21.860
working. Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord. That praise be our breakthrough.

900
00:58:22.300 --> 00:58:26.820
There's a song by, um, Tor Waltz, the last name, I can't

901
00:58:26.820 --> 00:58:31.180
think of their first name right now. Brian, I think is the

902
00:58:31.180 --> 00:58:36.540
husband. But anyways, praise. I have to look up the song and

903
00:58:36.540 --> 00:58:38.860
post in the group because that's coming up in my spirit tonight

904
00:58:38.860 --> 00:58:43.260
as well. But some of you part of the struggle is that you're

905
00:58:43.260 --> 00:58:46.620
really focused on what's not happening. And the Lord is

906
00:58:46.620 --> 00:58:50.180
saying tonight that it's you have to make the shift, you have

907
00:58:50.180 --> 00:58:54.660
to start to praise, praise, praise what is happening. It

908
00:58:54.660 --> 00:58:57.380
doesn't mean you're not acknowledging what still needs

909
00:58:57.380 --> 00:59:01.020
to shift. But God is saying there's power in the praise, the

910
00:59:01.020 --> 00:59:04.900
praise is going to bring the breakthrough. So we just declare

911
00:59:04.900 --> 00:59:08.380
in Jesus name that we will be women of authority, we will be

912
00:59:08.380 --> 00:59:13.820
women of confidence, that we will praise you, God. And we

913
00:59:13.820 --> 00:59:16.540
thank you that we will not be afraid. I'm going to look for a

914
00:59:16.540 --> 00:59:20.780
scripture too. There's something coming up. Where's my

915
00:59:20.780 --> 00:59:23.420
big Bible? I don't know where it's at y'all. Let me find the

916
00:59:23.420 --> 00:59:28.540
other one. I got to look for this. It's important. We're gonna

917
00:59:28.540 --> 00:59:33.460
let our praise be our anthem and just really see where that's

918
00:59:33.460 --> 00:59:35.860
going to take us in the days ahead as everyone else is coming

919
00:59:35.860 --> 00:59:38.540
back. I got to look for a scripture real quick. Y'all got

920
00:59:38.540 --> 00:59:41.380
out you got to go back. Okay, when you guys log off and this

921
00:59:41.380 --> 00:59:44.940
is posted tomorrow. Go back and listen to the breakout because

922
00:59:44.940 --> 00:59:48.060
there's a lot of prophetic stuff happening tonight. God is

923
00:59:48.060 --> 00:59:53.100
definitely speaking. And as I was kind of coming to the end of

924
00:59:53.100 --> 00:59:55.820
that, I just heard the song and I'll post the song in the group

925
00:59:55.820 --> 01:00:00.060
tomorrow. Praise Breakthrough. I forget exactly what it's called.

926
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.480
but anyways it led me to this psalm one blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked

927
01:00:06.480 --> 01:00:12.000
or sit excuse me or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers but whose

928
01:00:12.000 --> 01:00:18.880
delight is in the law of the lord and who meditates on his law day and night that person is like a

929
01:00:18.880 --> 01:00:26.880
tree planted by streams of water which yields it for its fruit in season and whose leaf does not

930
01:00:26.880 --> 01:00:34.560
wither whatever they do prospers y'all there's more to that but i was basically just talking

931
01:00:34.560 --> 01:00:39.920
and saying like god was just really emphasizing praise is gonna bring breakthrough some of you

932
01:00:39.920 --> 01:00:45.280
are focusing too much on what's not happening and god is saying you gotta focus on the winds

933
01:00:45.280 --> 01:00:49.360
celebrate your wins celebrate how far you've already come and so y'all can go back and

934
01:00:49.360 --> 01:00:55.040
listen to that again i put you guys in breakouts at about 8 50 tonight so if you go about 50 minutes

935
01:00:55.040 --> 01:01:00.160
in once that replay and just listen to that some of y'all need need some of that that's in there

936
01:01:00.160 --> 01:01:05.200
all right so our activation for this week i'm going to read through these really quick because

937
01:01:05.200 --> 01:01:10.880
i'm going to post it in the group when i log off here tonight and you can read the details there

938
01:01:10.880 --> 01:01:16.160
okay but i am going to read through it number one these are your activations for this week now ladies

939
01:01:16.160 --> 01:01:21.440
activations are in addition to your homework and the reason we do this is we partner our faith with

940
01:01:21.440 --> 01:01:27.360
our works okay so we're activating what we're learning that's why we do the activations number

941
01:01:27.360 --> 01:01:32.960
one shift to positive oh my gosh i forgot that that was even my number one for activation

942
01:01:34.240 --> 01:01:35.520
god is so funny

943
01:01:37.840 --> 01:01:41.920
i planned it this morning and i i quickly read it but it didn't even dawn on me as that was

944
01:01:41.920 --> 01:01:47.200
coming up in my spirit that that was our one of our activations for this week shift to positive

945
01:01:48.160 --> 01:01:54.000
all right but this is what it means for the activation ask god to show you the gold in yourself

946
01:01:54.800 --> 01:02:00.640
as well as other people and then i want you to create a post to share some of the gold and you

947
01:02:00.640 --> 01:02:05.360
see in those that you see in those people throughout the week these can be short brief

948
01:02:05.360 --> 01:02:10.160
posts y'all don't have to save all of it for all week long and then create a really long post

949
01:02:10.160 --> 01:02:15.360
because those are actually harder for our coaching team to read y'all so if you keep them short brief

950
01:02:15.840 --> 01:02:19.120
and powerful it makes a little bit easier for our team to kind of get back to you quicker

951
01:02:20.080 --> 01:02:22.960
but here's the thing on this too create a post tell us about it

952
01:02:25.120 --> 01:02:31.120
i really believe some of you are gonna if you're willing it doesn't mean you have to go around

953
01:02:31.120 --> 01:02:37.920
toxic people okay but i believe god is going to show some of you things that you need to see about

954
01:02:37.920 --> 01:02:45.040
your parents your family the gold that god sees in them there's good in everybody now again it

955
01:02:45.040 --> 01:02:49.440
doesn't mean that that person's living into that right now doesn't mean they're a healthy person

956
01:02:49.440 --> 01:02:55.520
for you to go around but it god has created every one of us in his image so y'all know there's good

957
01:02:55.520 --> 01:03:02.160
stuff in there all right so let god show you the people around you and the gold in them number two

958
01:03:02.800 --> 01:03:06.480
now we did this last week too but i'm going to give you a week two of this because i think we

959
01:03:06.480 --> 01:03:12.000
need to do this more we're going to activate play again this week you're going to go do something

960
01:03:12.000 --> 01:03:19.600
fun hopefully some of you excuse me went out last week and did something fun you enjoyed something

961
01:03:19.600 --> 01:03:25.920
new i saw um natalie i forget what what it was called but natalie went and saw this specific

962
01:03:25.920 --> 01:03:30.880
dog show tell us in the chat because i was like oh my gosh i don't think i've ever been to one

963
01:03:30.880 --> 01:03:38.560
of those that would be cool but try something new yeah sheep yeah yeah yeah yeah she's here sheep

964
01:03:38.560 --> 01:03:46.560
dog thing was it like where they um they compete against each other i think that's what it was

965
01:03:46.560 --> 01:03:50.960
anyways i thought that was cool you know these are the kind of things like sometimes you just

966
01:03:50.960 --> 01:03:55.120
see something that someone else has done someone else has done and then you're like oh that would

967
01:03:55.120 --> 01:04:01.600
be kind of cool to go see all right but maybe for some of you you need to do things like have a

968
01:04:01.600 --> 01:04:08.320
pajama party with your girlfriends some of you're like oh girlfriends i don't even have any

969
01:04:08.320 --> 01:04:15.600
girlfriends y'all this is legit some of us don't have girlfriends all right there's no shame in

970
01:04:15.600 --> 01:04:22.560
that but maybe you can invite one friend to lunch instead ask god to show you somebody else that

971
01:04:22.560 --> 01:04:28.960
feels alone not somebody you have to like raise them out of a pit you all that's not necessarily

972
01:04:28.960 --> 01:04:33.920
what i'm talking about now i'm not telling you you got to go minister to somebody i'm saying

973
01:04:33.920 --> 01:04:39.200
ask god to show you someone else that's a healthy person that also would love a friend

974
01:04:40.880 --> 01:04:47.680
and invite them to lunch maybe for you some of you all probably and i say this with love at your age

975
01:04:47.680 --> 01:04:53.440
i probably wouldn't climb a tree but other people that are physically able we did this back when i

976
01:04:53.440 --> 01:04:59.840
now keep this in mind you all i went through the heart work in 2021 so it's already been five years

977
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.480
I don't even know if I could climb a tree anymore.

978
01:05:02.480 --> 01:05:04.440
I'm sure if it was a low tree, I could,

979
01:05:04.440 --> 01:05:05.840
I'm pretty short you all.

980
01:05:05.840 --> 01:05:08.160
But we did that challenge,

981
01:05:08.160 --> 01:05:10.080
Jackie issued that challenge to our group

982
01:05:10.080 --> 01:05:14.240
and you all legit, our group had the most videos

983
01:05:14.240 --> 01:05:17.380
I've ever seen and photos of people climbing trees.

984
01:05:18.360 --> 01:05:20.000
You just don't know what's gonna bring out

985
01:05:20.000 --> 01:05:22.140
the inner child in you and that's what we're trying to do.

986
01:05:22.140 --> 01:05:24.640
We're trying to get the good things to come out

987
01:05:24.640 --> 01:05:27.220
even though the hard things are also surfacing.

988
01:05:27.220 --> 01:05:30.620
Some of you all need to go on a swing, go down a slide.

989
01:05:31.540 --> 01:05:33.060
Anybody ever been to,

990
01:05:33.060 --> 01:05:35.140
there's these new slide places coming out now.

991
01:05:35.140 --> 01:05:38.580
It's a big thing and family areas where,

992
01:05:38.580 --> 01:05:40.020
the things that used to be,

993
01:05:41.260 --> 01:05:43.780
when you would go to a festival and you'd sit on the sack

994
01:05:43.780 --> 01:05:46.060
and you'd go down the slide, yeah.

995
01:05:46.060 --> 01:05:48.060
Those are coming up all over the place down here

996
01:05:48.060 --> 01:05:49.460
at least in Florida.

997
01:05:49.460 --> 01:05:51.220
There are these like fun centers

998
01:05:51.220 --> 01:05:52.980
and they have all these indoor slides

999
01:05:52.980 --> 01:05:54.340
and stuff that you go down.

1000
01:05:55.180 --> 01:05:58.700
Hey, you all, you don't need a kid to go do that.

1001
01:05:58.700 --> 01:06:00.660
Now, again, if you're not physically able,

1002
01:06:00.660 --> 01:06:03.320
then don't do that, go do something different.

1003
01:06:03.320 --> 01:06:05.820
I'm just trying to give you guys ideas of fun things.

1004
01:06:05.820 --> 01:06:10.420
Yeah, Kaylee, great ideas, chalk, bubbles, sprinklers,

1005
01:06:10.420 --> 01:06:13.940
anything that's kind of awakening the little kid in you.

1006
01:06:13.940 --> 01:06:16.640
Maybe it's just to go on a walk and pick flowers.

1007
01:06:16.640 --> 01:06:18.420
Now don't pick somebody else's flowers,

1008
01:06:18.420 --> 01:06:20.260
maybe in the wild, okay?

1009
01:06:20.260 --> 01:06:23.580
I know, Michelle gets my jokes.

1010
01:06:23.580 --> 01:06:25.620
Michelle and I think we would laugh a lot.

1011
01:06:25.620 --> 01:06:28.220
She seems to like what I'm saying over here.

1012
01:06:28.220 --> 01:06:31.600
Y'all, this is my version of silliness, okay?

1013
01:06:32.580 --> 01:06:34.860
Can I just say, there has been a time or two

1014
01:06:34.860 --> 01:06:36.340
that I've picked someone's flowers.

1015
01:06:36.340 --> 01:06:38.180
I probably shouldn't have done that.

1016
01:06:38.180 --> 01:06:40.140
And so that's why I encourage you guys not to do it.

1017
01:06:40.140 --> 01:06:44.020
All right, go on an adventure, try something new,

1018
01:06:44.020 --> 01:06:47.780
go to a new place, really have some fun with this.

1019
01:06:47.780 --> 01:06:51.660
This is the time ladies to allow every aspect of yourself

1020
01:06:51.660 --> 01:06:53.720
to awaken.

1021
01:06:53.720 --> 01:06:55.800
Some of you will feel terrified by this

1022
01:06:55.800 --> 01:06:56.640
because you're like,

1023
01:06:56.640 --> 01:06:59.680
I don't even know who I was as a little girl.

1024
01:07:01.280 --> 01:07:04.300
Part of this is for you to try your best

1025
01:07:04.300 --> 01:07:05.820
to tap into some of that stuff.

1026
01:07:05.820 --> 01:07:09.660
And if you need help, ask the Lord to show you what to do

1027
01:07:09.660 --> 01:07:11.100
and then just go do that.

1028
01:07:11.100 --> 01:07:14.740
And then take the next step the next time and do it again.

1029
01:07:14.740 --> 01:07:17.700
All right, so we're gonna open up for group shares.

1030
01:07:17.700 --> 01:07:19.940
Yash was first, then I'm gonna go to Catherine

1031
01:07:19.940 --> 01:07:21.380
and then we'll go from there.

1032
01:07:22.580 --> 01:07:24.220
Thanks, Bethany.

1033
01:07:24.220 --> 01:07:28.660
So when you were talking about the professional setting,

1034
01:07:28.660 --> 01:07:31.940
something really came into my mind.

1035
01:07:31.940 --> 01:07:34.580
And the issue that I was thinking about

1036
01:07:34.580 --> 01:07:38.420
is that I always feel that I feel like a pretender.

1037
01:07:38.420 --> 01:07:40.940
I mean, I've worked for this financial industry,

1038
01:07:40.940 --> 01:07:43.100
I think almost like 23 years now,

1039
01:07:43.100 --> 01:07:45.780
and I've worked hard, learned what I need to learn

1040
01:07:45.780 --> 01:07:47.020
and I'm still learning.

1041
01:07:47.860 --> 01:07:51.380
So even though I have like had so many professional settings

1042
01:07:52.100 --> 01:07:54.180
I still feel I'm not good enough.

1043
01:07:54.180 --> 01:07:58.740
And I was wondering, like, why do I feel this way?

1044
01:07:58.740 --> 01:08:02.580
So growing up, I grew up in Sri Lanka.

1045
01:08:02.580 --> 01:08:03.740
So now I'm in Hong Kong,

1046
01:08:03.740 --> 01:08:06.140
I've been living here for the past seven years.

1047
01:08:06.140 --> 01:08:09.020
But even when I was in Sri Lanka, I remember as a kid,

1048
01:08:09.020 --> 01:08:12.780
so probably about five or six or maybe five,

1049
01:08:12.780 --> 01:08:14.940
I had two cousins who's older than me.

1050
01:08:14.940 --> 01:08:18.620
So they were always, they had like well-meaning stuff to do

1051
01:08:18.620 --> 01:08:20.979
and also they were quite wealthy as well.

1052
01:08:21.580 --> 01:08:22.700
Whereas my parents were actually

1053
01:08:22.700 --> 01:08:24.540
starting everything from ground up.

1054
01:08:24.540 --> 01:08:29.100
So whenever we went to like all these social settings,

1055
01:08:29.100 --> 01:08:31.420
I remember like they telling me,

1056
01:08:32.580 --> 01:08:34.660
okay, be careful as to what you say

1057
01:08:34.660 --> 01:08:37.740
because you don't know a lot of English.

1058
01:08:37.740 --> 01:08:40.260
So I mean, obviously English is my second language.

1059
01:08:40.260 --> 01:08:43.300
So I mean, as a five or a six year old, I'm still learning.

1060
01:08:43.300 --> 01:08:47.060
I mean, no, I didn't know back then that no one,

1061
01:08:47.060 --> 01:08:49.939
that it's all right for me to stumble

1062
01:08:49.939 --> 01:08:51.500
while learning a second language

1063
01:08:51.500 --> 01:08:53.460
and to communicate with others.

1064
01:08:53.460 --> 01:08:58.060
But I think that kind of really kind of built a shame in me

1065
01:08:58.060 --> 01:09:01.140
that I'm not good enough, I haven't learned enough.

1066
01:09:01.140 --> 01:09:03.260
So that was what came to me,

1067
01:09:03.260 --> 01:09:06.140
but I'm just trying to get off of that.

1068
01:09:06.140 --> 01:09:08.460
So if you have any helpful tips,

1069
01:09:09.540 --> 01:09:10.580
Bethany just let me know

1070
01:09:10.580 --> 01:09:14.540
because I know it seems something small back in the days,

1071
01:09:14.540 --> 01:09:18.859
but now I wonder why do I still feel that?

1072
01:09:18.859 --> 01:09:21.500
Because I have come a very long way.

1073
01:09:21.500 --> 01:09:24.420
Yeah, I think it's just gonna be something

1074
01:09:24.420 --> 01:09:25.580
that's gonna come with time.

1075
01:09:25.580 --> 01:09:27.979
But one of the things that just kind of came up

1076
01:09:27.979 --> 01:09:32.979
in my spirit was if there were things that you did say

1077
01:09:33.939 --> 01:09:36.620
that someone like made fun of you or scolded you

1078
01:09:36.620 --> 01:09:40.740
because you said it wrong, that you can recall,

1079
01:09:40.740 --> 01:09:42.740
I actually think you need to write that out,

1080
01:09:42.740 --> 01:09:45.300
like whatever that thing was,

1081
01:09:45.340 --> 01:09:49.380
and then like write to yourself,

1082
01:09:49.380 --> 01:09:52.340
I love you and accept you, Yash.

1083
01:09:52.340 --> 01:09:54.260
I think part of what I'm just sensing with you,

1084
01:09:54.260 --> 01:09:55.700
cause I know this has kind of been something

1085
01:09:55.700 --> 01:09:58.340
you've been really trying to work through for a while

1086
01:09:58.340 --> 01:10:00.100
is that a key to break.

1087
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.160
free from some of this stuff is for you to actually love yourself, like to

1088
01:10:05.160 --> 01:10:09.560
actually just no matter ladies, there comes a time and I'm not trying to

1089
01:10:09.560 --> 01:10:15.840
minimize it because it is a process and it takes us time. Um, but there comes a

1090
01:10:15.840 --> 01:10:18.600
moment when we really have to

1091
01:10:20.040 --> 01:10:27.080
lay that stuff down and just say, no matter what this person has said, kind

1092
01:10:27.080 --> 01:10:31.440
of like that example of my mom earlier, even though it's not the same,

1093
01:10:34.120 --> 01:10:38.040
I have to choose to know that I have been a good daughter.

1094
01:10:39.620 --> 01:10:41.440
I really know that I have been.

1095
01:10:42.820 --> 01:10:47.200
I left college to take care of my mom. Like there were a lot of things I

1096
01:10:47.200 --> 01:10:54.360
sacrificed and so I have to just like partner with the truth and move forward.

1097
01:10:54.800 --> 01:11:00.160
But a lot of what I've had to do is really like, um, kind of like what I was

1098
01:11:00.160 --> 01:11:04.040
saying earlier, even when I was praying for you guys, when I started the session

1099
01:11:04.040 --> 01:11:08.680
tonight, if you weren't on then it's okay, but it's that convergence back

1100
01:11:08.680 --> 01:11:10.120
with the little girl, you.

1101
01:11:11.400 --> 01:11:15.860
Okay. So imagine walking in when you said, you know, you had these two older

1102
01:11:15.860 --> 01:11:19.040
cousins that came up tonight. I don't know if I've actually heard you mention

1103
01:11:19.040 --> 01:11:23.080
the two older cousins or not. I can't remember, but like when you're walking

1104
01:11:23.080 --> 01:11:27.240
into those social settings, if there was something moments where you actually

1105
01:11:27.240 --> 01:11:32.160
went through that experience, where you said something, um, and again, someone

1106
01:11:32.160 --> 01:11:37.080
made fun of you or you felt really intimidated, where you like in your

1107
01:11:37.080 --> 01:11:42.480
mind's eye, in your spirit, kind of envision hugging yourself and saying, I

1108
01:11:42.480 --> 01:11:43.560
love you, Yash.

1109
01:11:45.120 --> 01:11:46.440
Does that make sense?

1110
01:11:47.120 --> 01:11:47.440
Yeah.

1111
01:11:47.600 --> 01:11:50.920
And I'm not saying like, it's not a weird kooky thing, but it's, it's us

1112
01:11:50.960 --> 01:11:55.320
learning how to like pause in that moment and just imagine and remember,

1113
01:11:55.320 --> 01:12:00.840
like, remember even like, I can remember very little things about when I was

1114
01:12:00.840 --> 01:12:05.240
little, but there are a couple of very vivid things and I can remember where I

1115
01:12:05.240 --> 01:12:07.120
was and things like that.

1116
01:12:08.480 --> 01:12:12.240
And there are times where I've really had to like pause and just say, I love

1117
01:12:12.240 --> 01:12:14.800
you. I'm sorry that happened to you.

1118
01:12:15.600 --> 01:12:17.560
And like love myself.

1119
01:12:18.560 --> 01:12:22.240
And the more that I've done that, I feel like it's like I've been able to

1120
01:12:22.240 --> 01:12:24.040
receive God's love more too.

1121
01:12:26.400 --> 01:12:26.760
Yeah.

1122
01:12:27.480 --> 01:12:31.960
It's so, I think the next season for you is really going to be centered around

1123
01:12:31.960 --> 01:12:37.320
you accepting yourself and loving yourself in those vulnerable places back

1124
01:12:37.320 --> 01:12:37.840
then.

1125
01:12:38.320 --> 01:12:44.120
So that when it like shows up in your today, you're like, Hey devil, that's

1126
01:12:44.120 --> 01:12:44.960
healed.

1127
01:12:44.960 --> 01:12:51.800
Like I'm, I'm okay now and I'm moving forward, you know, where it's, it's

1128
01:12:51.800 --> 01:12:54.760
something that will happen, but it's also a choice.

1129
01:12:56.360 --> 01:13:00.120
And it's not saying you won't ever struggle or get tripped up at all, but I

1130
01:13:00.120 --> 01:13:04.720
don't think it's negating the fact you've done a lot of work and you are not

1131
01:13:04.720 --> 01:13:06.040
who you used to be.

1132
01:13:07.720 --> 01:13:10.320
So you have to believe and partner with that too.

1133
01:13:10.440 --> 01:13:11.400
You're welcome.

1134
01:13:11.640 --> 01:13:12.240
You're welcome.

1135
01:13:12.240 --> 01:13:13.440
Thanks for asking that question.

1136
01:13:13.440 --> 01:13:14.080
That was really good.

1137
01:13:15.360 --> 01:13:16.200
Catherine.

1138
01:13:16.200 --> 01:13:17.120
Hello.

1139
01:13:18.680 --> 01:13:19.200
Hi.

1140
01:13:19.280 --> 01:13:21.880
I'm like, I was sharing in my breakout group.

1141
01:13:22.880 --> 01:13:28.600
I'd say a lot of my life, I started off with being like a pretender a lot

1142
01:13:29.360 --> 01:13:36.320
because you know I'm, I mean, I work in the field of special education, but I

1143
01:13:36.800 --> 01:13:41.000
you know I'm, I mean I work in the field of special education as a teacher,

1144
01:13:41.080 --> 01:13:47.720
teacher's assistant because I used to be one of those students and I am a mom of

1145
01:13:47.720 --> 01:13:52.280
that, but you know, it was always about hiding.

1146
01:13:52.600 --> 01:13:56.160
Oh, like academics was hard or anything like that.

1147
01:13:56.880 --> 01:14:01.680
And like I was also sharing, I've, I've always felt like the black sheep of the

1148
01:14:01.680 --> 01:14:02.280
family.

1149
01:14:02.800 --> 01:14:07.120
And that also explains getting it out there with some of the posts I put up

1150
01:14:07.120 --> 01:14:07.520
there.

1151
01:14:08.240 --> 01:14:14.560
I definitely, definitely, definitely feel that a lot with my stepdad that I a

1152
01:14:14.560 --> 01:14:19.040
hundred percent feel like, and it's very interesting, honestly, growing up with

1153
01:14:19.040 --> 01:14:23.960
the brother where we're, we're opposite ends of the bell curve.

1154
01:14:24.800 --> 01:14:30.480
Like I grew up in, in special education and having special needs.

1155
01:14:30.480 --> 01:14:33.000
And my brother grew up on the gifted end.

1156
01:14:34.320 --> 01:14:43.120
So I definitely feel like a lot that my stepdad kind of looks at me like, oh my

1157
01:14:43.120 --> 01:14:44.600
gosh, like your life is a mess.

1158
01:14:44.600 --> 01:14:46.120
When is it going to get together?

1159
01:14:46.160 --> 01:14:52.000
And of course I was sharing in the group with the posts that it showed up with

1160
01:14:52.000 --> 01:14:53.320
this whole car thing.

1161
01:14:53.840 --> 01:14:59.400
And then this brings into kind of most of my struggles now, I would now say I

1162
01:14:59.400 --> 01:14:59.920
relate.

1163
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.000
most to the liar.

1164
01:15:05.380 --> 01:15:09.280
And one such lie is I just keep believing.

1165
01:15:09.280 --> 01:15:11.120
And I believe Jackie when she says,

1166
01:15:11.120 --> 01:15:12.760
the finances is tied to the heart,

1167
01:15:12.760 --> 01:15:15.000
just like I've also been believing that.

1168
01:15:15.000 --> 01:15:17.640
Obesity, fighting obesity is tied to the heart.

1169
01:15:17.640 --> 01:15:20.080
I'm like, I worked this stuff out through the heart,

1170
01:15:20.080 --> 01:15:22.000
which that was a powerful, supernatural Saturday.

1171
01:15:22.000 --> 01:15:25.760
I'm almost done catching up, but I believe that.

1172
01:15:25.760 --> 01:15:28.600
I really get through and break through with the heart.

1173
01:15:28.640 --> 01:15:30.360
The weight won't be as much of a struggle

1174
01:15:30.360 --> 01:15:32.960
and the finances won't be as much of a struggle,

1175
01:15:32.960 --> 01:15:34.520
but I just keep believing.

1176
01:15:34.520 --> 01:15:36.960
I'm always doing like, oh man,

1177
01:15:36.960 --> 01:15:39.700
like waiting for the other shoe to drop with the finances.

1178
01:15:39.700 --> 01:15:42.040
Oh, here's the next thing that blows.

1179
01:15:42.040 --> 01:15:44.580
Even though God keeps reminding me,

1180
01:15:44.580 --> 01:15:49.580
but a year ago I thought I wasn't gonna have a place to live

1181
01:15:50.800 --> 01:15:52.600
and look at what he did.

1182
01:15:52.600 --> 01:15:53.600
He got me out of there.

1183
01:15:53.600 --> 01:15:55.280
He moved me off the island, brought me up here.

1184
01:15:55.280 --> 01:15:58.040
So don't I think he would provide a car for me?

1185
01:15:58.040 --> 01:16:01.920
Which of course, I do hear moments,

1186
01:16:01.920 --> 01:16:05.040
even though my dad and I had different moments of like,

1187
01:16:05.040 --> 01:16:08.520
well, I'm like, I don't think I can do a $30,000 car,

1188
01:16:08.520 --> 01:16:09.520
buying one.

1189
01:16:09.520 --> 01:16:11.320
There's no way I could do those car payments

1190
01:16:11.320 --> 01:16:12.480
and finish up this loan.

1191
01:16:12.480 --> 01:16:15.280
That's way too much a month with inflation.

1192
01:16:15.280 --> 01:16:20.040
But I do feel like God was speaking to both of us

1193
01:16:20.040 --> 01:16:25.040
through him on Sunday when my dad said, what about leasing?

1194
01:16:25.320 --> 01:16:29.040
So just, I guess, for God to show me the answer,

1195
01:16:29.040 --> 01:16:30.960
I'm getting a second opinion

1196
01:16:30.960 --> 01:16:32.640
and running this by a coworker of mine,

1197
01:16:32.640 --> 01:16:35.680
because I work special ed in a BOCES,

1198
01:16:35.680 --> 01:16:37.760
but we also have the vocational.

1199
01:16:37.760 --> 01:16:39.280
So he teaches mechanics.

1200
01:16:39.280 --> 01:16:42.240
So he has to know the latest technologies

1201
01:16:42.240 --> 01:16:44.720
to teach the next generations.

1202
01:16:44.720 --> 01:16:47.480
And if he says it's kaput,

1203
01:16:48.680 --> 01:16:51.320
it's one of those that I guess I'm asking God,

1204
01:16:51.320 --> 01:16:54.000
like, just help me.

1205
01:16:54.000 --> 01:16:58.080
First of all, get my bills where I can finally balance them

1206
01:16:58.080 --> 01:17:00.120
because it really is hard with inflation.

1207
01:17:00.120 --> 01:17:02.760
And second of all, is it better to lease?

1208
01:17:02.760 --> 01:17:04.320
Is it better to do?

1209
01:17:04.320 --> 01:17:06.400
And of course I know in the back of my head,

1210
01:17:06.400 --> 01:17:09.360
I'm like, is the car thing gonna get in the way

1211
01:17:10.280 --> 01:17:12.040
of meeting my spirit mate?

1212
01:17:12.040 --> 01:17:12.880
That car's not gonna get in the way of meeting my spirit mate.

1213
01:17:12.880 --> 01:17:14.600
So now I worry about that.

1214
01:17:14.600 --> 01:17:15.440
You're not there yet.

1215
01:17:15.440 --> 01:17:16.840
Because if I have to lease.

1216
01:17:16.840 --> 01:17:19.520
Yeah, don't, hey ladies, you know what?

1217
01:17:19.520 --> 01:17:21.960
Literally, there's Uber.

1218
01:17:21.960 --> 01:17:23.920
Please do not let this kind of stuff.

1219
01:17:24.880 --> 01:17:25.720
This is how the enemy,

1220
01:17:25.720 --> 01:17:27.280
he just starts to take you down these rabbit trails.

1221
01:17:27.280 --> 01:17:29.400
I'm gonna get to the core of something you were saying.

1222
01:17:29.400 --> 01:17:30.920
Let me unblur it.

1223
01:17:30.920 --> 01:17:32.840
Oh yeah, I wanna hear this.

1224
01:17:32.840 --> 01:17:36.320
That you said that I think is gonna help a lot of people.

1225
01:17:36.320 --> 01:17:38.560
And I feel like this is gonna be a kind of a theme

1226
01:17:38.560 --> 01:17:40.680
as I'm coaching tonight.

1227
01:17:40.680 --> 01:17:42.920
All right, so this isn't exactly a black sheep,

1228
01:17:42.920 --> 01:17:45.160
but I just kind of visually look,

1229
01:17:45.160 --> 01:17:46.920
cause I couldn't draw a sheep.

1230
01:17:46.920 --> 01:17:47.920
Not that fast.

1231
01:17:47.920 --> 01:17:49.280
All right, I want you to imagine

1232
01:17:49.280 --> 01:17:50.680
when you said the black sheep thing,

1233
01:17:50.680 --> 01:17:53.880
I think a lot of people think this way, right?

1234
01:17:54.720 --> 01:17:56.840
When we think that we're the black sheep,

1235
01:17:56.840 --> 01:17:58.120
we're always on the outside.

1236
01:17:58.120 --> 01:18:00.120
I'm not saying that that wasn't

1237
01:18:00.120 --> 01:18:02.360
how things actually were sometimes

1238
01:18:02.360 --> 01:18:04.480
by the way people excluded us.

1239
01:18:04.480 --> 01:18:07.040
It's like we're here and we think everybody

1240
01:18:07.040 --> 01:18:10.240
is happy on the inside, right?

1241
01:18:10.240 --> 01:18:12.520
But y'all, here's the reality.

1242
01:18:12.520 --> 01:18:13.960
I'm gonna show you something.

1243
01:18:16.960 --> 01:18:18.440
Let me draw this really quick.

1244
01:18:18.440 --> 01:18:19.440
Hold on one second.

1245
01:18:24.480 --> 01:18:25.880
I don't even know if this is gonna land

1246
01:18:25.880 --> 01:18:28.120
the way it happened in my spirit when I thought of it,

1247
01:18:28.120 --> 01:18:32.160
but all right, this here, this box, you can't really see it.

1248
01:18:32.160 --> 01:18:33.480
Sorry, I don't have a black marker.

1249
01:18:33.480 --> 01:18:35.080
I put Jesus in there.

1250
01:18:35.080 --> 01:18:37.320
Jesus is the way, all right?

1251
01:18:38.320 --> 01:18:41.920
So the reality is, is no matter what other people do

1252
01:18:41.920 --> 01:18:44.280
or what we think they're doing,

1253
01:18:44.280 --> 01:18:46.920
we really never have to be out here

1254
01:18:48.480 --> 01:18:51.280
because Jesus already opened the door for us.

1255
01:18:52.160 --> 01:18:53.920
Is this landing yet?

1256
01:18:53.920 --> 01:18:55.880
I see some people.

1257
01:18:55.880 --> 01:18:57.680
We think we're out here

1258
01:18:59.080 --> 01:19:00.960
because the way people have treated us

1259
01:19:00.960 --> 01:19:03.600
and we think they're just in here enjoying

1260
01:19:03.600 --> 01:19:05.760
and they're happy and they're the white sheep

1261
01:19:05.760 --> 01:19:07.200
and we're just on the outside.

1262
01:19:07.200 --> 01:19:09.480
We're the black sheep, we're the bad kid.

1263
01:19:09.480 --> 01:19:10.960
We're the kid that's not as smart.

1264
01:19:10.960 --> 01:19:13.320
Whatever that thing is that made us

1265
01:19:13.320 --> 01:19:14.960
what we believed the black sheep.

1266
01:19:14.960 --> 01:19:17.080
Y'all, the black sheep is a lie too.

1267
01:19:18.880 --> 01:19:19.720
Guess what?

1268
01:19:20.520 --> 01:19:21.360
Guess what?

1269
01:19:21.360 --> 01:19:23.240
God didn't create any black sheep.

1270
01:19:23.240 --> 01:19:26.000
Well, I mean, technically there are black sheep,

1271
01:19:26.000 --> 01:19:28.680
but y'all get what I'm saying, right?

1272
01:19:28.680 --> 01:19:30.240
But here's the reality.

1273
01:19:30.240 --> 01:19:35.240
Again, Jesus, if he is the way, the truth and the life,

1274
01:19:35.440 --> 01:19:38.160
he freaking broke that wall down.

1275
01:19:38.160 --> 01:19:39.840
You get to go in.

1276
01:19:41.400 --> 01:19:43.920
You already are in here,

1277
01:19:45.480 --> 01:19:47.520
but you believe you're out here.

1278
01:19:48.520 --> 01:19:51.960
So at some point we have to stop partnering with,

1279
01:19:51.960 --> 01:19:53.760
I am the black sheep.

1280
01:19:53.760 --> 01:19:55.040
I'm always on the outside.

1281
01:19:55.040 --> 01:19:57.760
Now, are some of you getting treated that way

1282
01:19:57.760 --> 01:19:59.880
by your parents because there's still...

1283
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.120
favoring another sibling, maybe, but you don't have to believe that lie.

1284
01:20:06.880 --> 01:20:12.240
Because God doesn't look at you like that. God is giving you the same benefit that is giving all

1285
01:20:12.240 --> 01:20:18.560
these people in here. I hope this is landing for you all because it's really powerful. If

1286
01:20:18.560 --> 01:20:29.360
you'll get a hold of this, you're already in here. God didn't give me a husband and he's like, oh,

1287
01:20:29.360 --> 01:20:31.520
you got to just stay out here. You don't get one.

1288
01:20:36.960 --> 01:20:44.960
Amy's thinking about that. I can tell. Some of y'all believe that. You believe that everybody

1289
01:20:44.960 --> 01:20:49.760
else is going to get somebody and you're just not really sure that God has that for you.

1290
01:20:52.320 --> 01:20:54.960
Maybe it's finances. Maybe it's something else.

1291
01:20:55.920 --> 01:21:01.200
But I'm telling you, if you guys can get a hold of this, this door is already open.

1292
01:21:01.920 --> 01:21:08.160
Orphan mentalities keep us out here. Limiting belief systems keep us out here.

1293
01:21:09.120 --> 01:21:14.640
Now, the healing happens on the inside. Remember, this isn't about behavior modification.

1294
01:21:15.120 --> 01:21:22.800
Oh, yes, Lord. This isn't about you, like, pretending to be good and be here.

1295
01:21:23.360 --> 01:21:28.080
This is about you getting a revelation that Jesus died for you.

1296
01:21:32.000 --> 01:21:39.120
He died for you. He gave you the victory. And the more that you allow him to heal your heart,

1297
01:21:40.080 --> 01:21:43.600
your heart, you're going to recognize that you have full access.

1298
01:21:44.640 --> 01:21:49.680
My husband, we're in the, excuse me, we're in this series right now called Chesed.

1299
01:21:50.800 --> 01:21:58.160
It's from the Bible from the book of Ruth. And it's really, really incredible series. But he

1300
01:21:58.160 --> 01:22:02.160
said one of the things now, y'all, I'm not saying Boaz is and you wait, you wait, you wait. It's

1301
01:22:02.160 --> 01:22:05.760
okay. When I bring Boaz, don't everybody freak out that I'm talking about that. That's not what

1302
01:22:05.760 --> 01:22:17.360
I'm talking about. But Boaz gave Ruth access to water to extra grain. And then he also just gave

1303
01:22:17.360 --> 01:22:29.760
her access to everything that was his. Everything that is God's is already yours. I know it's so

1304
01:22:29.760 --> 01:22:35.600
hard for us to comprehend sometimes because we're still living in what we don't have.

1305
01:22:39.680 --> 01:22:44.880
But tonight, I believe God is inviting us to partner with what do we have? What's already in

1306
01:22:44.880 --> 01:22:50.560
your hand? What's the blessing that you already have? How far have you already grown? Some of

1307
01:22:50.560 --> 01:22:55.360
y'all even in a few days, there's some breakthrough that's happening. Yeah.

1308
01:22:55.600 --> 01:23:00.640
So Catherine, we're praying for you. And I'm believing that God is going to keep providing

1309
01:23:00.640 --> 01:23:05.040
for you in different ways. Some of it is going to be you growing in knowledge or

1310
01:23:06.240 --> 01:23:12.960
asking people who have, you know, really good knowledge regarding finances or budgeting or car,

1311
01:23:12.960 --> 01:23:18.080
you know, those kinds of things and, and asking people for help. I love that you're asking someone

1312
01:23:18.080 --> 01:23:22.160
help for help. I think that's great regarding your car getting fixed and all that. Ladies,

1313
01:23:22.160 --> 01:23:27.280
this is part of the journey is us not believing that we have to do everything by ourselves,

1314
01:23:27.280 --> 01:23:32.560
but I believe a lot of this has to do with what we believe in here.

1315
01:23:38.480 --> 01:23:43.760
And it's going to keep changing. God's going to continue to give you invitations to an upgrade.

1316
01:23:44.320 --> 01:23:49.840
Okay, Sarah, go ahead.

1317
01:23:53.120 --> 01:23:59.280
So while you were holding up that drawing and explaining just about the placement of Jesus,

1318
01:23:59.280 --> 01:24:05.680
I had this sensation in my body, and it was almost like it landed in my stomach. And it was like an

1319
01:24:05.680 --> 01:24:13.040
excitement. And I just I felt like I had to when I first started with last year single, I was still,

1320
01:24:13.040 --> 01:24:17.440
you know, intellectually was like, Am I just as good as any other woman to get married and have

1321
01:24:17.440 --> 01:24:22.320
children and do the God thing with a good husband, all that good stuff was like, of course, but did

1322
01:24:22.320 --> 01:24:27.920
my heart believe it? No, I didn't. And I couldn't see it. You know, where you're like, Oh, yeah,

1323
01:24:27.920 --> 01:24:33.360
I can see myself doing something. I was like, man, I still had I was there was things I couldn't see.

1324
01:24:33.920 --> 01:24:38.720
And I'm starting to realize as you showed, you just held up that picture. I was like,

1325
01:24:38.720 --> 01:24:46.960
I can see it. I'm starting to see it. It's like I'm starting to get vision. But I just I had to

1326
01:24:46.960 --> 01:24:52.960
say that really quick. But I was in the reason I raised my hand is I was in the same small group

1327
01:24:52.960 --> 01:24:58.640
with Miss Wendy. She's also got her hand raised the pretty lady up there in blue with her and

1328
01:24:58.640 --> 01:25:00.000
Eileen in the same group this

1329
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.120
afternoon. But we were talking about the puzzle. And when you

1330
01:25:05.120 --> 01:25:08.160
were talking about, you know, you need, you talk about liking

1331
01:25:08.160 --> 01:25:10.640
to solve puzzles, and I'm a puzzler, I used to be a threat

1332
01:25:10.640 --> 01:25:14.840
analyst as well, I like figuring things out. And I get really,

1333
01:25:14.840 --> 01:25:17.600
really frustrated when I don't understand and I have a hard

1334
01:25:17.600 --> 01:25:20.720
time moving on. And there's a lot I have a lot of things, you

1335
01:25:20.720 --> 01:25:22.880
know, where it's like, you've got like fire, irons in the

1336
01:25:22.880 --> 01:25:25.520
fire, and you want to see it pulled out. It's like, Nope,

1337
01:25:25.520 --> 01:25:28.000
they're still in there. And I can't look at them yet. And it's

1338
01:25:28.000 --> 01:25:29.760
it's right. I'm not gonna lie, it's driving me a little

1339
01:25:29.760 --> 01:25:35.360
bananas. But one thing that Wendy said, that struck me

1340
01:25:35.360 --> 01:25:38.480
because she talked about the puzzle too, was she, because I

1341
01:25:38.480 --> 01:25:40.800
was like, man, how do you move on, like, especially when

1342
01:25:41.040 --> 01:25:44.560
there's been something, whether it's like a church group, or a

1343
01:25:44.560 --> 01:25:47.120
guy or, you know, something where there's been a fallout,

1344
01:25:47.160 --> 01:25:51.000
and maybe it's little t or big T trauma, you know, really

1345
01:25:51.000 --> 01:25:54.000
unpleasant. I'm like, man, and I was doing it today about an

1346
01:25:54.000 --> 01:25:57.120
old church hurt group. Like, I, I keep going back, and I'm

1347
01:25:57.120 --> 01:26:00.720
trying to figure it out. And I'm puzzling it. And I was

1348
01:26:00.720 --> 01:26:04.800
really wondering, Bethany, like, what comes to your mind,

1349
01:26:04.800 --> 01:26:06.960
like what the Holy Spirit brings to mind when it comes to

1350
01:26:06.960 --> 01:26:09.760
really, you know, like, be putting the puzzles to peace,

1351
01:26:09.760 --> 01:26:13.440
like, we leaving them be and, and moving forward, not not

1352
01:26:13.440 --> 01:26:18.080
going back to that whole memory recall. Two things Wendy said,

1353
01:26:18.080 --> 01:26:22.560
were, do I really want this and that it isn't what you think it

1354
01:26:22.560 --> 01:26:28.560
is? Right. And I feel like I had a little once again, another

1355
01:26:28.640 --> 01:26:32.080
bit of a vision shift when she said that it's like, there's

1356
01:26:32.080 --> 01:26:35.840
more like, there's a way to figure out to not maybe not to

1357
01:26:35.840 --> 01:26:38.800
puzzle it, right. But there's a way to walk forward without

1358
01:26:39.120 --> 01:26:42.960
being continually stuck in that that trauma, trauma puzzling.

1359
01:26:43.600 --> 01:26:48.880
So yeah, it you know, two things, as soon as you started

1360
01:26:48.880 --> 01:26:51.640
talking number, okay, three things almost forgot. The first

1361
01:26:51.640 --> 01:26:55.320
thing, what you felt in your stomach, okay, I really want

1362
01:26:55.320 --> 01:26:57.880
you even after we get off tonight, I want you to pray into

1363
01:26:57.880 --> 01:27:01.400
that Martha Lord. As soon as you start talking about that, I was

1364
01:27:01.400 --> 01:27:04.040
thinking of the scripture and y'all somebody can help me look

1365
01:27:04.040 --> 01:27:09.080
this up. And where it talks about out of, you know, our

1366
01:27:09.080 --> 01:27:14.600
bellies will flow rivers of living water. And there's

1367
01:27:14.600 --> 01:27:17.960
something about the stomach that is really important. Like you

1368
01:27:17.960 --> 01:27:20.840
could have felt that anywhere in your body, but you felt it in

1369
01:27:20.840 --> 01:27:27.000
your stomach. And so, um, you know, laughter is good medicine.

1370
01:27:27.000 --> 01:27:29.800
Sometimes there's that, you know, like those belly laughs, I

1371
01:27:29.800 --> 01:27:32.040
don't know, those are the couple things that I was thinking of as

1372
01:27:32.040 --> 01:27:36.040
you were talking. And I do believe that that is like

1373
01:27:36.120 --> 01:27:38.840
something that's going to continue, God wants to continue

1374
01:27:38.840 --> 01:27:41.720
to show you something about that, because you felt that and

1375
01:27:41.720 --> 01:27:46.440
it was very real to you. Number two on the puzzle, when you

1376
01:27:46.440 --> 01:27:51.640
start talking about that, I immediately saw a puzzle that

1377
01:27:51.640 --> 01:27:58.120
was all the way finished except for one piece. And as a

1378
01:27:58.120 --> 01:28:04.280
puzzler, you all, the worst thing is when you put a puzzle

1379
01:28:04.280 --> 01:28:10.360
together and you are missing one freaking piece. Literally, like

1380
01:28:10.360 --> 01:28:15.400
that would drive me bonkers. I like I would feel so frustrated

1381
01:28:15.400 --> 01:28:20.040
because I really didn't get to finish that. It felt unfinished.

1382
01:28:20.600 --> 01:28:25.480
But here's the thing. You know, I've had puzzles like that. And

1383
01:28:25.480 --> 01:28:28.600
I've learned how to remember that, hey, there's just a piece

1384
01:28:28.600 --> 01:28:32.040
missing there. And I've still been able to enjoy putting that

1385
01:28:32.040 --> 01:28:37.160
puzzle together. When back in the day, that wasn't the case.

1386
01:28:37.320 --> 01:28:41.000
Now, am I saying I always want that to happen? No. But I think

1387
01:28:41.000 --> 01:28:43.160
at some point, it's kind of like earlier, I was saying,

1388
01:28:43.160 --> 01:28:45.800
sometimes we just have to give ourselves permission to move

1389
01:28:45.800 --> 01:28:50.120
forward, Sarah. And then there might come a day where we're

1390
01:28:50.120 --> 01:28:54.280
going through something and then it's like, oh my gosh, that's

1391
01:28:54.280 --> 01:29:01.880
the piece I've been looking for. But if we just wait, because

1392
01:29:01.880 --> 01:29:03.720
we're looking for that piece, we're looking for that piece,

1393
01:29:03.720 --> 01:29:08.440
we're looking for that piece. And that piece is in some hidden

1394
01:29:08.440 --> 01:29:13.560
box in our storage, you know, whatever. If y'all have moved a

1395
01:29:13.560 --> 01:29:18.920
couple times, you might be kind of what's the word tracking with

1396
01:29:18.920 --> 01:29:23.320
me right now. I found a puzzle piece one day when I was like

1397
01:29:23.320 --> 01:29:27.400
unpacking a totally different box. And I remember being like,

1398
01:29:27.400 --> 01:29:33.000
oh my gosh, that's where that freaking piece was. I don't know

1399
01:29:33.000 --> 01:29:36.200
if this makes sense. But that's just what came to me is that I

1400
01:29:36.200 --> 01:29:41.240
think it's about sometimes with our overanalyzing minds, some of

1401
01:29:41.240 --> 01:29:46.920
us have to just like, you know what? Okay, I have all the

1402
01:29:46.920 --> 01:29:49.960
information I can have right now. And until God gives me the

1403
01:29:49.960 --> 01:29:54.360
rest of that, I'm going to keep moving forward. For you, I think

1404
01:29:54.360 --> 01:29:58.040
it's interesting that this old church hurt came up again. So I

1405
01:29:58.040 --> 01:29:59.320
want you to just ask God,

1406
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:07.400
God is there something else you want to show me right now if not, can you just help me let this go and move forward?

1407
01:30:10.640 --> 01:30:16.400
You know some of us are waiting for somebody to come to us and verbally say they're sorry and I'm not sure if that's what's

1408
01:30:16.400 --> 01:30:18.400
You know hanging you up on that

1409
01:30:18.640 --> 01:30:23.320
But some of us we we long for that person to come and make it right

1410
01:30:23.320 --> 01:30:24.480
and

1411
01:30:24.480 --> 01:30:29.840
If they don't that's like the missing piece for us, and we never feel satisfied

1412
01:30:29.840 --> 01:30:34.700
We just keep circling that thing and circling it when there's really nothing else we can do right now

1413
01:30:35.680 --> 01:30:39.280
We just have to move forward and let the Lord take care of that

1414
01:30:40.560 --> 01:30:45.880
Some of those people will never I wanted my oldest even more than my younger brother

1415
01:30:45.880 --> 01:30:50.680
I wanted my oldest brother to come and verbally apologize to me for what he did

1416
01:30:51.680 --> 01:30:55.360
Y'all he never did that and then when he did do it

1417
01:30:55.360 --> 01:31:01.800
he was like it was like a force thing and not because I was like begging for it and like, you know, we're fighting and

1418
01:31:02.360 --> 01:31:04.760
Then I was like, oh that felt super cheap

1419
01:31:05.800 --> 01:31:07.800
Y'all know what I'm talking about

1420
01:31:07.840 --> 01:31:09.840
Yeah, so

1421
01:31:09.920 --> 01:31:14.760
Wouldn't it be better if it just happened in God's timing and it was genuine?

1422
01:31:14.880 --> 01:31:19.880
Right now again, I have no clue if that resonates for you, but then the last thing I wanted to say

1423
01:31:22.920 --> 01:31:24.920
Was when you were talking about

1424
01:31:25.560 --> 01:31:31.840
How when Wendy said it isn't what you think it is and you were saying I forget exactly how you worded it

1425
01:31:31.840 --> 01:31:33.840
But this is what I heard. I

1426
01:31:35.560 --> 01:31:40.760
Think for you Sarah some of your breakthrough is gonna come through rest

1427
01:31:40.920 --> 01:31:47.440
Like as in like a learning how to just kind of surrender all the like the overthinking

1428
01:31:48.080 --> 01:31:50.080
having to figure it out and

1429
01:31:51.040 --> 01:31:54.480
learning a new way of resting in him and

1430
01:31:55.360 --> 01:32:00.600
So again, I don't know if that resonates for you, but that's kind of what I heard when you were talking about that

1431
01:32:00.600 --> 01:32:05.400
I think that's part of like it's not just how the spirit mates gonna come

1432
01:32:05.560 --> 01:32:11.320
That's gonna be different than the way you think because that could be true, but I also think that

1433
01:32:12.720 --> 01:32:16.240
Your breakthrough might come in some ways that will surprise you

1434
01:32:17.960 --> 01:32:22.400
That makes sense, yeah, it all totally yeah makes sense

1435
01:32:25.400 --> 01:32:29.520
And especially what you were saying about not and for me it's not so much about

1436
01:32:29.520 --> 01:32:35.440
I don't feel like I'm willing to like be totally fine without ever if I know it'd be great to reconcile

1437
01:32:35.440 --> 01:32:37.960
But if I never see the people again, I'd be totally at peace

1438
01:32:38.920 --> 01:32:44.520
Where I think the enemy hits me is with lies like I had to it was long story short

1439
01:32:44.520 --> 01:32:51.080
It was very good at one point and then people dissolved into stuff. That was very toxic and I went against

1440
01:32:52.040 --> 01:32:53.480
my

1441
01:32:53.480 --> 01:32:56.040
Usual which I would say in the past was dysfunctional

1442
01:32:56.760 --> 01:33:00.520
Responses and actually got out ahead of something that could have been really bad

1443
01:33:00.520 --> 01:33:04.440
But so in doing that I've been questioning like well, not the whole time

1444
01:33:04.440 --> 01:33:10.480
But I have periods of questioning myself in it where I'm like, oh, did I did I really hear you know?

1445
01:33:10.480 --> 01:33:15.040
Like did I make a mistake and why do you feel guilty or something?

1446
01:33:16.040 --> 01:33:18.040
Okay, so

1447
01:33:18.040 --> 01:33:22.920
Maybe you need a partner with the truth that maybe you were God defended and God was protecting you

1448
01:33:26.360 --> 01:33:33.000
So ladies if guilt drives you if guilt is at the core of some of these things that are tormenting some of you

1449
01:33:33.000 --> 01:33:39.120
I really want you to ask God to help you see his his protection and his defense of you

1450
01:33:41.120 --> 01:33:43.280
And I think that's a really important thing to think about

1451
01:33:43.280 --> 01:33:46.360
His his protection and his defense of you

1452
01:33:47.560 --> 01:33:50.560
And ladies, even if we got ahead of God

1453
01:33:51.120 --> 01:33:56.880
Don't you think he could recorrect like redirect us and you know all of that and even that

1454
01:33:57.560 --> 01:33:59.560
Situation he can redeem all that

1455
01:34:00.040 --> 01:34:06.400
You know what comes to mind the last thing I'll share and again, it's not like we at least from my perspective

1456
01:34:06.400 --> 01:34:09.440
I'm not walking around like I want to save people

1457
01:34:10.440 --> 01:34:13.320
The Savior complex is what I'm talking about right now

1458
01:34:14.560 --> 01:34:16.560
but I think when

1459
01:34:17.200 --> 01:34:19.200
bad things happen to people

1460
01:34:21.040 --> 01:34:27.120
Like I had the way I'll describe this the shortest version as there was this this young guy that used to work at the

1461
01:34:27.120 --> 01:34:30.080
Company the Wealth and Trust Management Company that I was talking about earlier

1462
01:34:31.600 --> 01:34:35.800
And he drank a lot he partied a lot with the younger people

1463
01:34:36.480 --> 01:34:42.280
And this he went back and forth in front of my desk all the time to the water jug and and one day in particular

1464
01:34:42.280 --> 01:34:49.440
It never dawned on me, you know really actually like at all until one day. I smelled alcohol in the hallway and

1465
01:34:49.920 --> 01:34:51.920
I thought well, that's strange

1466
01:34:52.440 --> 01:34:55.520
Why am I smelling and then not that much later?

1467
01:34:55.520 --> 01:34:59.920
I was talking to a co-worker in the hallway and he came up and started talking to us and I

1468
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:06.880
out alcohol again. And then it dawned on me like, Oh my gosh, I think he's drinking at work. Now,

1469
01:35:06.880 --> 01:35:11.760
I never said anything to him because I didn't know how to navigate it. And I, I didn't have

1470
01:35:11.760 --> 01:35:17.200
proof or anything like that. But y'all ended up having a dream about this guy and not in a weird

1471
01:35:17.200 --> 01:35:22.160
kooky way. It was a three scene dream. And in the end, and this is again, the shortest version,

1472
01:35:22.720 --> 01:35:27.840
the last scene of the dream, I knew this, this guy and other people from my, my work were in

1473
01:35:27.840 --> 01:35:31.600
this dream. In the last scene, there were all these people coming out of the house and they

1474
01:35:31.600 --> 01:35:37.920
all had black on. And I remember not knowing or understanding what was the dream was about.

1475
01:35:37.920 --> 01:35:42.160
Like I was praying into it, but I never really got the revelation of what God was saying.

1476
01:35:43.840 --> 01:35:50.320
Well, I don't know how much time passed by, but this young man ended up dying. He drank himself

1477
01:35:50.320 --> 01:36:01.440
to death. And you all for months, I felt so much guilt because I really do think God was showing me

1478
01:36:03.280 --> 01:36:09.200
now I'm not the savior. I don't think God was putting that on me. Like I was the only person

1479
01:36:09.200 --> 01:36:16.480
that could help him or anything like that. But it was one of those times where I'm like, man,

1480
01:36:17.440 --> 01:36:22.480
what if I, you know, I grew up in a home where my dad was an alcoholic and a drug addict. I,

1481
01:36:22.480 --> 01:36:28.640
I saw the signs, I smelled it. What if I had said something to him? And I had this guilt

1482
01:36:28.640 --> 01:36:35.760
that started to come and God really like had to set me free from that because, you know,

1483
01:36:37.360 --> 01:36:44.960
we're doing our best. And so Sarah, I'm giving that to you to encourage you. Like we're doing

1484
01:36:45.040 --> 01:36:52.320
our best. And you know, when you left, it sounds like you believed you were following the Lord and

1485
01:36:52.320 --> 01:36:57.920
you were making the best decision that you could make in that season. And so for you and anybody

1486
01:36:57.920 --> 01:37:06.880
else, God is saying it's time to set yourselves free. So I didn't tell you that story about that

1487
01:37:06.880 --> 01:37:14.640
guy to make you all sad, but I just, you know, the reality is, is we all are learning at the end of

1488
01:37:14.640 --> 01:37:21.120
the day, you know, so many people probably cross that, that guy's path that could have said

1489
01:37:21.120 --> 01:37:27.680
something. Right. So for me to take that all in myself, that is the enemy to try. He's trying to

1490
01:37:27.680 --> 01:37:33.280
cause that. So we have to recognize those kinds of tactics of the enemy that she's trying to

1491
01:37:33.280 --> 01:37:41.920
oppress us with stuff, right? Guilt, condemnation, and shame ladies is from the enemy. All right.

1492
01:37:42.240 --> 01:37:47.680
I know we're at nine 38. I am going to let Renee and Wendy go. If y'all need to log off,

1493
01:37:47.680 --> 01:37:55.360
I'm going to try to not go past nine 50. We'll see how it goes. But if y'all need to log off,

1494
01:37:55.360 --> 01:37:59.760
I totally understand. I really do try to not go too late, but some really good stuff has come

1495
01:37:59.760 --> 01:38:04.160
out of tonight. So hopefully y'all been blessed, Sarah. Thanks for sharing. I think I forgot to

1496
01:38:04.160 --> 01:38:09.120
say, Catherine, thanks for sharing to you too. Renee would love to hear what you have to say.

1497
01:38:09.280 --> 01:38:14.240
Oh yeah, this has been so good. I've been writing so many notes. Yay.

1498
01:38:16.240 --> 01:38:20.960
In the group, we talked about the different lives and one that came to me, as soon as you started

1499
01:38:20.960 --> 01:38:27.920
talking, the first two, I stopped with, I don't, I don't matter. And what came up was my mom,

1500
01:38:28.480 --> 01:38:35.360
it's a situation where when I was 16, my mom had another child and my mom was older. So Vanessa,

1501
01:38:35.600 --> 01:38:42.880
my sister, she was born with some developmentally delayed basically. And around the same time,

1502
01:38:42.880 --> 01:38:50.160
my mom retired to be with her. Now I was a latchkey kid. So I, my mom, I was, you know,

1503
01:38:50.160 --> 01:38:54.160
she worked all the time. That's, that was the life we had. She just worked all the time. So

1504
01:38:55.200 --> 01:39:01.440
when she stayed home with my sister, I felt slighted by it. So that was one instance. And I

1505
01:39:01.440 --> 01:39:08.800
know, I know it wasn't she didn't mean any harm, but I felt like, you know, she chose my sister

1506
01:39:08.800 --> 01:39:17.040
over me. And then there was another instance where she chose a boyfriend over me. And then another

1507
01:39:17.040 --> 01:39:23.280
situation, not necessarily with my mom, but with my father who he was in my life, but he had a

1508
01:39:23.280 --> 01:39:29.600
whole nother family. So it was kind of like out of sight, out of mind when, when I needed something,

1509
01:39:29.600 --> 01:39:35.600
it was a big deal, but his children from, you know, that he was in the household with got

1510
01:39:35.600 --> 01:39:42.080
everything they wanted. They got cars, they got, they had a much better financial life than I did

1511
01:39:42.080 --> 01:39:49.280
with just my mother. And so I always, I just had that feeling. It, it still comes up and,

1512
01:39:49.840 --> 01:39:54.560
and I know I shouldn't feel well with my father. I just feel some kind of way because,

1513
01:39:54.560 --> 01:39:59.760
you know, with my mom, I think I'm just more partial, but it's still.

1514
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:06.000
things yeah it still stings and when i did talk to her about it

1515
01:40:06.000 --> 01:40:09.360
and her mentality is hey we all have to do what we have to do

1516
01:40:09.360 --> 01:40:12.960
so she didn't really you know she wasn't

1517
01:40:12.960 --> 01:40:17.040
empathetic or sympathetic to what i was saying she was like well

1518
01:40:17.040 --> 01:40:23.200
you were already raised so i did my part and it was you were leaving the house

1519
01:40:23.200 --> 01:40:26.320
in a couple years which i did to go to school

1520
01:40:26.320 --> 01:40:32.240
and your sister needed me but i was like i needed you too still

1521
01:40:32.240 --> 01:40:36.560
yeah like she didn't understand kind of my perspective but i also didn't want to

1522
01:40:36.560 --> 01:40:39.200
guilt trip her because she didn't make the decision

1523
01:40:39.200 --> 01:40:43.040
to slight me i i understand that but it doesn't mean

1524
01:40:43.040 --> 01:40:47.520
like i still feel it yeah so interestingly enough

1525
01:40:47.520 --> 01:40:52.000
two things i heard when you were talking that you believe the lie that

1526
01:40:52.000 --> 01:40:56.480
your mom loved her more so i think that's under there

1527
01:40:56.480 --> 01:41:00.000
too okay so i want you to pray into that

1528
01:41:00.000 --> 01:41:04.720
and then i really want you to pray into what i first saw when you were talking

1529
01:41:04.720 --> 01:41:07.520
about you know you said it stings in there

1530
01:41:07.520 --> 01:41:11.600
i literally kind of had this picture of like a bee sting

1531
01:41:11.600 --> 01:41:15.760
like a bee sting and the stinger was still like stuck in there

1532
01:41:15.760 --> 01:41:24.080
and i heard like get the poison out and so i want you to really pray into

1533
01:41:24.080 --> 01:41:30.880
asking god to remove like you know um how people what's it called

1534
01:41:30.880 --> 01:41:34.320
siphon like when they try to suck the poison

1535
01:41:34.320 --> 01:41:36.880
like if a snake bites someone and they can kind of

1536
01:41:36.880 --> 01:41:40.880
do that and it pulls that that venom that poison out

1537
01:41:40.880 --> 01:41:44.720
and now god can just touch you and heal you so i don't like it's not going to be

1538
01:41:44.720 --> 01:41:49.040
hard for him but specifically for whatever reason i just felt led to

1539
01:41:49.040 --> 01:41:54.560
encourage you to pray for god to specifically

1540
01:41:54.560 --> 01:41:58.000
get the poison out

1541
01:41:58.240 --> 01:42:02.240
because i believe there's something about like this residue that's kind of

1542
01:42:02.240 --> 01:42:07.200
staying um and it's it's another layer of the

1543
01:42:07.200 --> 01:42:10.080
healing for you where god's going to just come in and

1544
01:42:10.080 --> 01:42:13.360
remove that that venom if you will because you're

1545
01:42:13.360 --> 01:42:16.480
starting to believe the truth you're on that path

1546
01:42:16.480 --> 01:42:20.720
but it's still painful and so another way you could when i pray the balm of

1547
01:42:20.720 --> 01:42:23.360
gilead ladies the reason i do that back in the

1548
01:42:23.360 --> 01:42:26.560
you know you guys can look in scripture it talks about that briefly

1549
01:42:26.560 --> 01:42:31.280
um it was a medicinal thing okay the balm of gilead was like

1550
01:42:31.280 --> 01:42:36.080
a sign of medicinal healing that was used in the old testament and so when i

1551
01:42:36.080 --> 01:42:40.480
pray that over us like i always envision god just coming

1552
01:42:40.480 --> 01:42:44.560
in with and again you guys i just see things like in my imagination i'm not

1553
01:42:44.560 --> 01:42:48.400
saying it says this in scripture but i just kind of imagine god coming

1554
01:42:48.400 --> 01:42:52.400
with like this balm this healing with on this gauze and

1555
01:42:52.400 --> 01:42:55.520
just coming and putting it on our hearts and our souls and just

1556
01:42:55.520 --> 01:42:58.960
like healing us and obviously he can just touch me right now and i don't

1557
01:42:58.960 --> 01:43:02.960
there's no gauze needed but just i don't know i think because as a mom if

1558
01:43:02.960 --> 01:43:07.520
i'm trying to heal my help my kid heal i got the gauze out i got the stuff to

1559
01:43:07.520 --> 01:43:11.920
clean it i got you know all these things that they need

1560
01:43:11.920 --> 01:43:16.640
and so whatever works for you all but i want to kind of get you started on that

1561
01:43:16.640 --> 01:43:22.240
path because i feel like that's kind of it's just going to come a day where

1562
01:43:22.240 --> 01:43:31.440
one day it won't hurt the same like when that happened with my mom

1563
01:43:31.440 --> 01:43:38.320
the sting was legit real and deep and hurtful and now i can talk about it

1564
01:43:38.320 --> 01:43:42.720
still i mean if i think about it still feels sad like that was my mom like i

1565
01:43:42.720 --> 01:43:48.480
can't imagine doing that to my kids i love her i extend grace to her her mom

1566
01:43:48.480 --> 01:43:52.160
was really mean to them so i know my mom learned

1567
01:43:52.160 --> 01:43:59.120
that stuff but i don't feel that pain anymore

1568
01:43:59.840 --> 01:44:05.120
because god took that away and he's going to take your pain away too

1569
01:44:05.120 --> 01:44:08.400
it's just going to take some time so continue to forgive your mom

1570
01:44:08.400 --> 01:44:13.440
continue to release her you know another layer of what helped me

1571
01:44:13.440 --> 01:44:19.120
heal regarding my mom was having my girls in my life and even

1572
01:44:19.120 --> 01:44:24.000
though they weren't biologically mine and they're not still like some of what

1573
01:44:24.000 --> 01:44:27.920
i've gone through you know as they make decisions like and

1574
01:44:27.920 --> 01:44:32.160
it's not good good decisions you know

1575
01:44:32.160 --> 01:44:37.600
or like even when i moved to florida like it was hard to leave them

1576
01:44:37.600 --> 01:44:44.000
but i knew that god was calling us here now my girls could believe the lie that

1577
01:44:44.000 --> 01:44:48.240
i abandoned them i mean that's truth they could believe

1578
01:44:48.240 --> 01:44:55.040
that if they wanted to but that's not true

1579
01:44:55.040 --> 01:45:01.920
so maybe asking god to reframe how you

1580
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:04.240
to your mom, like this week, as we're doing the seeing gold and other people, I would

1581
01:45:04.240 --> 01:45:07.760
encourage you to ask God to show you the gold in your mom. And it doesn't mean you don't

1582
01:45:07.760 --> 01:45:14.640
already see good in her. But I think specifically about this situation. And when you were a

1583
01:45:14.640 --> 01:45:22.520
latchkey kid, even more so. Like, ask God to show your show you your mom during that

1584
01:45:22.520 --> 01:45:23.520
time.

1585
01:45:23.520 --> 01:45:29.440
What's funny, you mentioned it because on the flip side, I was thinking about I had

1586
01:45:29.440 --> 01:45:36.200
a lot of surgeries when I was younger, because I was born with a birth defect. And that's

1587
01:45:36.200 --> 01:45:43.040
what came to mind, like, what kind of my brain said, or maybe it was the Holy Spirit, like,

1588
01:45:43.040 --> 01:45:48.760
you had your time when she was devoted to you. And it was during that season when I

1589
01:45:48.760 --> 01:45:56.280
had to have so many surgeries, where she she was devoted to me. So that if the course like

1590
01:45:56.280 --> 01:46:01.280
all the conversations happening that did come to me. So you're probably I like the

1591
01:46:01.280 --> 01:46:09.540
the whole reframing because, like I said, mentally, I know it's not true. It's not true.

1592
01:46:09.540 --> 01:46:14.000
But it's just I know something is still there that has to be dealt with. But that is what

1593
01:46:14.000 --> 01:46:20.920
came to mind. Like, she was there for you in a special way when you really needed her.

1594
01:46:21.320 --> 01:46:26.520
Yeah. So remember, when I say like, not today, devil, not today, when I kind of tell you

1595
01:46:26.520 --> 01:46:33.680
guys to say that. So the enemy is going to keep coming and presenting this lie to you.

1596
01:46:33.680 --> 01:46:39.640
He probably will come with this lie again, that your mom, what did I write down loved

1597
01:46:39.640 --> 01:46:46.860
her more. But what as you were just saying that about your mom, I heard in the spirit,

1598
01:46:46.860 --> 01:46:56.540
she loved me to the same. She loved us both the same. And so when the lie comes, what

1599
01:46:56.540 --> 01:47:03.580
you're going to have to do is reject the lie that she loved your sister more. And instead

1600
01:47:03.580 --> 01:47:13.020
partner with man, she loved me too. She loved us both really well. Maybe, you know, I feel

1601
01:47:13.020 --> 01:47:18.380
like it's fair. None of us are perfect. None of us are perfect. Even as parents now, we

1602
01:47:18.380 --> 01:47:26.980
are not perfect. And so it's not about perfection. It's about seeing, man, she was good in this

1603
01:47:26.980 --> 01:47:33.940
way. My mom was good. My mom did a lot of good things. And I've seen that more now,

1604
01:47:33.940 --> 01:47:39.900
the more that I've prayed to forgive her really after she passed, I feel like God has just

1605
01:47:39.900 --> 01:47:45.740
really visited me a couple times regarding my mom, specifically some dreams I've had.

1606
01:47:45.740 --> 01:47:51.620
And so, you know, be asking God for that even before, you know, anything happens with your

1607
01:47:51.620 --> 01:47:59.420
mom, ladies, God can show you things that you cannot see on your own. Okay. Renee, thanks

1608
01:47:59.420 --> 01:48:05.900
for sharing. Thank you. You're welcome. Wendy, go ahead.

1609
01:48:06.900 --> 01:48:14.460
Okay, I guess I put in the group. Can you hear me? Yep. Okay. I put in the group that

1610
01:48:14.460 --> 01:48:21.940
I've been, I was fired from a job, fired from a business, a real estate company. And I should

1611
01:48:21.940 --> 01:48:28.220
have, yeah, just last week. Sorry. Yeah, just a little something happened. I was probably

1612
01:48:28.220 --> 01:48:32.780
in the wrong, but I don't think it had to be that much. But it's been a relief ever

1613
01:48:32.780 --> 01:48:41.100
since that happened. I'm like, okay, I had been with this mentor person. I had, you know,

1614
01:48:41.100 --> 01:48:46.980
which he was always trying to compete with me and, and would only just give me a little,

1615
01:48:46.980 --> 01:48:53.420
you know, little, just little scraps of things to help her with and, and in order to make

1616
01:48:53.420 --> 01:49:00.540
money and stuff like that. And, and I've been looking, it was kind of hostile. And she had

1617
01:49:00.540 --> 01:49:04.300
been through some financial stuff and she needed to make a lot of money, but she was

1618
01:49:04.300 --> 01:49:08.060
making it at the expense of other people. And she's, she's supposed to be a leader or

1619
01:49:08.060 --> 01:49:16.020
a manager of some kind. And so I kind of just gave up on it. I just kind of stopped working

1620
01:49:16.020 --> 01:49:21.340
it, but I was just staying there to be together. But that happened ever since that happened.

1621
01:49:21.340 --> 01:49:27.460
I've been thinking about moving. I've been thinking about another business and it's just

1622
01:49:27.460 --> 01:49:32.820
been kind of, you know, just trying to go through the process of that, you know, and,

1623
01:49:32.820 --> 01:49:36.580
and I had to figure out, did I really want that? That's what I said to myself, you know,

1624
01:49:36.580 --> 01:49:41.900
to Sarah, I said, you know, do I really want that? Why am I getting upset about something

1625
01:49:41.900 --> 01:49:48.700
that I probably, it's not healthy for me. And so I should have quit before, but I can

1626
01:49:48.700 --> 01:49:54.500
always redo, go to another brokerage and that's not a problem. I mean, you know, in that bag.

1627
01:49:54.500 --> 01:49:58.900
So I'm going to take a break from that and then I'm going to go see him.

1628
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:07.040
a health, I have an appointment with the health, um, health, one of those doctors that believes in

1629
01:50:07.040 --> 01:50:13.040
health, um, natural medicine stuff, and I sent him a piece of my hair, and so we're going to

1630
01:50:13.040 --> 01:50:18.720
analyze what's wrong with me, and I'm going to work on that for the summer. I think that is a

1631
01:50:18.720 --> 01:50:25.440
great plan, Wendy. And so now I don't have this, one of the problems, the brokerage I was with

1632
01:50:25.440 --> 01:50:30.080
was an REO brokerage, which means that they did a lot of bank foreclosures. We were exposed to a

1633
01:50:30.080 --> 01:50:36.400
lot of things like mold and, you know, like a lot of dander and stuff, so it's actually a good,

1634
01:50:36.400 --> 01:50:40.640
you know, I wasn't really going to do a lot of work anyway for the company anyway, so I'm like,

1635
01:50:40.640 --> 01:50:45.280
they kind of, you know, and gas prices have gone up to like over four bucks a gallon here in

1636
01:50:45.280 --> 01:50:50.320
Arkansas, so. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm going to do that. I'm going to see how that works out.

1637
01:50:50.320 --> 01:50:53.280
It's all being, you never know, you might see a skinnier person.

1638
01:50:55.440 --> 01:51:01.680
Hey, I love it. You're investing in your health. I feel like you're, it sounds like you're already,

1639
01:51:01.680 --> 01:51:05.760
like, forgiving them, at least moving in that direction, if you haven't already.

1640
01:51:06.400 --> 01:51:11.760
Um, it sounds like, because you said, I was probably in the wrong, too. It sounds like

1641
01:51:12.480 --> 01:51:15.520
God's talking to you about some things maybe you could have done differently.

1642
01:51:15.520 --> 01:51:20.320
It sounds like, it all sounds very good as far as, like, the direction you're moving. You're

1643
01:51:20.320 --> 01:51:27.200
considering maybe, hey, I'm, maybe I'll move now, um, which to me feels, like, way different than

1644
01:51:27.200 --> 01:51:32.720
when you first came in this program. Just the openness in your heart and the way you're looking

1645
01:51:32.720 --> 01:51:38.320
at things, very good. It's very encouraging. We look forward to hearing how the appointments and

1646
01:51:38.320 --> 01:51:43.120
things go with the doctor and, you know, there could be so many other different things that God

1647
01:51:43.120 --> 01:51:50.880
has planned. Ladies, sometimes, you know, uh, an ending, what we would consider a rejection

1648
01:51:51.520 --> 01:51:58.560
is actually God's redirection for us at times. Um, and so I love the way you're looking at this.

1649
01:51:58.560 --> 01:52:03.680
Ladies, pray into things like this when they happen and be open. I kind of started there

1650
01:52:03.680 --> 01:52:11.360
tonight with our session. You know, are we really open to seeing what is God telling us about a

1651
01:52:11.360 --> 01:52:16.880
situation, about people? Even when people offend us, it doesn't mean that God intended that, but

1652
01:52:16.880 --> 01:52:22.560
what does God want to teach us through it? You know? And so, um, thank you for sharing that,

1653
01:52:22.560 --> 01:52:29.520
Wendy. Appreciate you. And, uh, ladies, there's so much in store. So be praying this week about

1654
01:52:29.520 --> 01:52:34.800
your heart and that broken aspects that are still hidden for God to reveal those things for you to

1655
01:52:34.800 --> 01:52:42.000
see them and come in. Tell us about it in, in the groups. We want to hear your fun stuff too.

1656
01:52:42.000 --> 01:52:48.320
Remember, we love evidence. If you go do something fun, we would love, we would love pictures. We

1657
01:52:48.320 --> 01:52:52.880
would love to see what you're doing. Let us experience that with you. Let me pray for us

1658
01:52:52.880 --> 01:52:59.280
and close us out. Father. Thank you. Thank you so much for all the gifts that you gave us tonight.

1659
01:52:59.280 --> 01:53:03.920
Even myself, I feel encouraged and I'm just so grateful to be here with these ladies at this

1660
01:53:03.920 --> 01:53:08.240
time of their lives, God, that I get to see this little glimpse of what you're doing in their lives.

1661
01:53:08.240 --> 01:53:15.040
God, thank you for every person that has been touched, encouraged, God, for Sarah feeling that

1662
01:53:15.040 --> 01:53:20.400
excitement coming in her stomach, Lord, and everybody else, Lord, wherever they are, Lord, we thank you

1663
01:53:20.400 --> 01:53:26.640
for dots being connected, God, for finances coming in. We thank you, God, for protecting us and our

1664
01:53:26.640 --> 01:53:31.920
families from any attacks of the enemy. We thank you that you have us covered, that we are under

1665
01:53:31.920 --> 01:53:37.200
the shadow of your wings. God, we thank you for an increase in supernatural breakthroughs and,

1666
01:53:37.200 --> 01:53:42.400
and, and suddenlies, God, that we will fix our eyes from where our help comes from, the maker of

1667
01:53:42.400 --> 01:53:47.120
heaven and earth, God, that we will think on things that are true and noble and lovely and of good

1668
01:53:47.120 --> 01:53:52.160
report, things that are above only and not beneath. God, that we are blessed when we go in and we're

1669
01:53:52.160 --> 01:53:57.440
blessed when we go out. We're blessed when we rise up and we are blessed when we lie down. So tonight

1670
01:53:57.440 --> 01:54:05.120
we thank you for sale arrest. God help us to sleep peaceful in you and Jesus name. Amen. God

1671
01:54:05.120 --> 01:54:11.360
bless you all. Love you. And I'll see y'all in the groups. Have a good night, everyone. Bye.