WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:07.440 Okay, I have my glasses on, but I have the most hilarious story for you guys. 2 00:00:07.440 --> 00:00:09.400 Welcome to ladies night. 3 00:00:09.400 --> 00:00:14.080 Get you a little blanket, get you a little sody or your coffee. 4 00:00:14.080 --> 00:00:18.240 If you're drinking coffee this late at night, then more power to you. 5 00:00:18.240 --> 00:00:22.400 Maybe some tea, maybe a glass of wine, whatever it is that you want. 6 00:00:22.400 --> 00:00:25.960 This is a new Olipop flavor called Shirley Temple. 7 00:00:25.960 --> 00:00:38.520 These are those fiber drinks and let me tell you what, 40 calories, nine grams of fiber, 8 00:00:38.520 --> 00:00:40.640 nine y'all. 9 00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:41.640 No added sugars. 10 00:00:41.640 --> 00:00:49.060 I mean, some of the flavors might have a little added something, but this stuff, it'll make 11 00:00:49.060 --> 00:00:50.060 you poop, right? 12 00:00:50.060 --> 00:00:54.280 So if you have a problem with that, then you want this. 13 00:00:54.280 --> 00:00:57.700 You want to drink these suckers, but they taste really good. 14 00:00:57.700 --> 00:01:00.820 It's like a little fiber soda. 15 00:01:00.820 --> 00:01:03.300 Anyway, I want to tell you a little story. 16 00:01:03.300 --> 00:01:06.380 So let's see, there's people are rolling on here. 17 00:01:06.380 --> 00:01:07.380 There's 51 of us. 18 00:01:07.380 --> 00:01:08.380 We're going to have fun tonight. 19 00:01:08.380 --> 00:01:09.380 That's what tonight's about. 20 00:01:09.380 --> 00:01:11.280 You guys, we're here to have fun. 21 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:12.280 We're here to have fun. 22 00:01:12.280 --> 00:01:13.340 I'm going to clean my little camera off. 23 00:01:13.340 --> 00:01:14.560 I'm at my daughter's house. 24 00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:16.140 She's not here. 25 00:01:16.140 --> 00:01:21.180 She's doing a little worship night over at the wheelhouse tonight, but I went to have 26 00:01:21.180 --> 00:01:26.960 my annual eye appointment today and I had them go ahead and do a contact lens exam. 27 00:01:26.960 --> 00:01:33.280 I have not worn contacts since I was in my twenties and I'm in my fifties now. 28 00:01:33.280 --> 00:01:37.680 But I thought, you know, for my son's wedding, I would like to not have to wear any glasses 29 00:01:37.680 --> 00:01:38.900 for my son's wedding, right? 30 00:01:38.900 --> 00:01:41.680 For the pictures and all the things. 31 00:01:41.680 --> 00:01:45.680 So they have you put in the contacts as you contact wearers know. 32 00:01:45.680 --> 00:01:49.680 But for those of you that are not a contact wearer, they have you like the doctor has 33 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:54.460 you put them in in front of you, in front of them, so that they know that you know how 34 00:01:54.460 --> 00:01:55.460 to do it. 35 00:01:55.460 --> 00:01:58.660 And so I used to wear contacts in my twenties, so I know how to do it. 36 00:01:58.660 --> 00:02:01.180 So it took me forever to get them in. 37 00:02:01.180 --> 00:02:07.020 So they're distance vision, but I'm over 50 now, okay? 38 00:02:07.020 --> 00:02:13.540 So I can't, when I, when I want to see something close up, I have to take my distance glasses 39 00:02:13.540 --> 00:02:15.300 off to see close up. 40 00:02:15.300 --> 00:02:19.640 Well, the contacts are in your eyes. 41 00:02:19.640 --> 00:02:21.920 So that's not going to work. 42 00:02:21.920 --> 00:02:24.940 So I had these contacts in and I can't read anything. 43 00:02:24.940 --> 00:02:29.180 I'm home now because you know, I left the place with them in and I'm like, this is great. 44 00:02:29.180 --> 00:02:30.180 I don't have glasses. 45 00:02:30.180 --> 00:02:32.060 I can see, I can drive. 46 00:02:32.060 --> 00:02:35.020 I get home and I can't see anything. 47 00:02:35.020 --> 00:02:36.620 I can't read anything. 48 00:02:36.620 --> 00:02:37.940 I'm trying to do something. 49 00:02:37.940 --> 00:02:38.940 I can't do it. 50 00:02:38.940 --> 00:02:41.100 I'm like, I'm going to have to take these off. 51 00:02:41.100 --> 00:02:42.680 I'm going to have to take them out. 52 00:02:42.680 --> 00:02:46.060 I'm going to have to waste this pair because I have to throw them away as soon as I take 53 00:02:46.060 --> 00:02:48.380 them out because they're like daily contacts. 54 00:02:48.380 --> 00:02:51.400 You guys, I could not get them out of my eyes. 55 00:02:51.400 --> 00:02:52.960 I almost had a panic attack. 56 00:02:52.960 --> 00:02:54.720 They were suctioned to my eyeball. 57 00:02:54.720 --> 00:02:56.720 I was trying my best to get them out. 58 00:02:56.720 --> 00:02:58.160 I couldn't figure out how to do it. 59 00:02:58.160 --> 00:02:59.160 It was bad. 60 00:02:59.160 --> 00:03:04.120 I almost drove back to the doctor's office to have them help me get them out because 61 00:03:04.120 --> 00:03:07.040 they're for astigmatisms and they're strong contacts. 62 00:03:07.040 --> 00:03:12.560 They're like suctioned on your eye and it was just, it was mayhem. 63 00:03:12.560 --> 00:03:16.640 And the whole time that was happening, I'm like, I'm a total reality show. 64 00:03:16.640 --> 00:03:17.880 Just me, just in general. 65 00:03:18.380 --> 00:03:19.780 I'm just a hot mess express. 66 00:03:19.780 --> 00:03:21.020 I don't know what else to say. 67 00:03:21.020 --> 00:03:22.380 It's just bad. 68 00:03:22.380 --> 00:03:24.540 So I did get them out. 69 00:03:24.540 --> 00:03:30.180 Finally took a long time and now back to my glasses, which I have to admit I like better 70 00:03:30.180 --> 00:03:32.900 because I can just take them on and take them off. 71 00:03:32.900 --> 00:03:33.980 I don't need readers yet. 72 00:03:33.980 --> 00:03:39.960 I can see up close just fine as long as I don't have those on or that prescription contacts 73 00:03:39.960 --> 00:03:41.980 in my eyes. 74 00:03:41.980 --> 00:03:42.980 You love my shirt. 75 00:03:42.980 --> 00:03:46.300 Oh, I have a little color on ladies. 76 00:03:46.300 --> 00:03:50.480 I wore this for you on purpose because we're doing a little makeover night tonight. 77 00:03:50.480 --> 00:03:57.400 So you guys are used to seeing me in dark colors, neutrals, brown, black, cream, red. 78 00:03:57.400 --> 00:04:00.840 Red's not a neutral, but it's still part of that basic color scheme. 79 00:04:00.840 --> 00:04:02.280 You guys are used to that. 80 00:04:02.280 --> 00:04:06.160 But this shirt, as you can see, this is very bright. 81 00:04:06.160 --> 00:04:09.680 It's like a little polo situation. 82 00:04:09.680 --> 00:04:14.040 It's even cuter than the camera is letting on that it is. 83 00:04:14.040 --> 00:04:19.620 And some of us need to get some color in our lives. 84 00:04:19.620 --> 00:04:26.580 Talking directly to myself and I bought this shirt because I knew that I needed to add 85 00:04:26.580 --> 00:04:28.420 some colors for my life. 86 00:04:28.420 --> 00:04:29.780 And so we'll jump off there. 87 00:04:29.780 --> 00:04:33.620 You guys, we could do a little Ask Jackie hybrid because I wasn't able to be at Ask 88 00:04:33.620 --> 00:04:36.420 Jackie this month. 89 00:04:36.420 --> 00:04:40.020 I'm trying to think of what happened. 90 00:04:40.020 --> 00:04:41.020 Something happened. 91 00:04:41.120 --> 00:04:45.400 There's been a lot of chaotic things that have been going on. 92 00:04:45.400 --> 00:04:52.560 I don't fully remember what it was, but I do know that I did. 93 00:04:52.560 --> 00:04:54.080 I hurt my, I re hurt my back. 94 00:04:54.080 --> 00:04:55.400 That's what it was. 95 00:04:55.400 --> 00:04:56.400 Yes. 96 00:04:56.400 --> 00:05:00.040 You guys, apparently now anytime I do anything. 97 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:07.280 That's not just walking. My back, my back does something different than it should. 98 00:05:07.280 --> 00:05:14.220 And so wasn't, that wasn't good. Alright, so yes, I am feeling better. I did notice 99 00:05:14.220 --> 00:05:18.320 my back was getting a little tweaked out today, so keep me in your prayers when 100 00:05:18.320 --> 00:05:24.160 you pray. Just add a little line item and God heal Jackie's back. Okay, so we're 101 00:05:24.160 --> 00:05:27.080 gonna have fun tonight. If you haven't been to a ladies night before, this is a 102 00:05:27.080 --> 00:05:31.440 grab bag. Any questions that you have, we usually do some things that are for 103 00:05:31.440 --> 00:05:37.400 ladies only. This is our one time where we get to get together in VIP community 104 00:05:37.400 --> 00:05:41.680 in phase three where no guys are listening in. No one else knows what's 105 00:05:41.680 --> 00:05:47.280 going on here, so no holds barred. You can ask anything you want. We can jump into 106 00:05:47.280 --> 00:05:54.120 any conversation that we, that we need and we can just go, go, go, go. We can go for 107 00:05:54.120 --> 00:05:59.800 it. Someone's saying you should get the bifocal contacts. I mean, maybe, but I 108 00:05:59.800 --> 00:06:06.040 don't need bifocals. My up-close vision is really good, so maybe they have like 109 00:06:06.040 --> 00:06:10.240 contacts where the bottom of them have no prescription, like nothing on the 110 00:06:10.240 --> 00:06:13.680 bottom and then you can, when you look down, you can just see regular. I don't 111 00:06:13.680 --> 00:06:19.520 know. Alright, ladies, I want to do a little makeover. If anyone wants, if 112 00:06:19.520 --> 00:06:23.960 anyone's brave enough, okay, because if you ask me for my opinion, I'm going to 113 00:06:23.960 --> 00:06:29.560 give it to you, but if anyone's brave enough to jump into the hot seat for a 114 00:06:29.560 --> 00:06:36.000 little makeover, a little mini makeover magic, then we can do that, but you can 115 00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:42.520 see how this color, these colors, because this is in my color palette. I'm a winter. 116 00:06:42.520 --> 00:06:45.920 Anyone know what the colors are? And if you know your color, go ahead and put it 117 00:06:45.920 --> 00:06:51.560 in the chat. You know your season. I'm sorry, your season. You know, a lot of 118 00:06:51.560 --> 00:06:55.360 people think, oh, well, I'm a spring, so I can't wear this color. I'm a fall, so I 119 00:06:55.360 --> 00:07:00.120 can't wear this color. That's not true. You can wear any color. It's just the 120 00:07:00.120 --> 00:07:07.720 shade of that color. That's the important part. Like, I can't wear pastels. Pastels 121 00:07:07.720 --> 00:07:15.000 wash me out. I'm a pretty tan person just naturally. They make me look washed out. 122 00:07:15.080 --> 00:07:24.200 There's no color in my face if I put on a pastel, except for light blue, light and 123 00:07:24.200 --> 00:07:28.880 light yellow. Those look good on me for some reason. Okay, let's see. We have 124 00:07:28.880 --> 00:07:34.760 winters. Winters usually look good in jewel tones. People that can wear bright 125 00:07:34.760 --> 00:07:39.000 colors, like you look good in neons a lot of time. You look good in bright colors, 126 00:07:39.160 --> 00:07:47.040 like this red is a jewel tone right here. There's a greenish color. Navy. Navy. I 127 00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:51.680 look better in navy than I do in black. I can wear black, but I look better in navy 128 00:07:51.680 --> 00:07:55.040 blue. So the color of this, I know it looks black, but it's really navy blue. 129 00:07:56.360 --> 00:08:07.560 Fall, spring in here. Navy is my black. Yes, I think that I'm spring. We've toyed 130 00:08:07.560 --> 00:08:11.800 around for a ladies night about thinking about bringing someone in to do colors. 131 00:08:11.840 --> 00:08:16.560 What do you guys think about that? Now, what would have to happen in order to do 132 00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:21.720 that since we're virtual is everyone would have to be on camera. And everyone 133 00:08:21.720 --> 00:08:27.560 would have to bring their like their favorite pieces of clothing. So that the 134 00:08:27.560 --> 00:08:31.600 person that does your colors can see like what like this is the shirt that I love to 135 00:08:31.600 --> 00:08:35.280 wear. This is my favorite outfit. This is and let's see, you know, whether it 136 00:08:35.280 --> 00:08:41.720 brightens your face. The whole premise behind your season is that it makes your 137 00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:46.360 eyes pop. It makes your skin look nice and healthy. It gives color to your face. 138 00:08:46.680 --> 00:08:53.640 It makes your hair look nice. That's how you know. One quick way to gauge whether 139 00:08:53.640 --> 00:08:59.320 or not what you have on is your season. When you wear it, people compliment you. 140 00:08:59.880 --> 00:09:04.880 Oh, that looks so nice on you. Oh, you look so young, or you look so vibrant, or 141 00:09:04.880 --> 00:09:09.880 you look so joyful, or they just give you some kind of positive adjective when you 142 00:09:09.880 --> 00:09:17.120 wear that thing. So think about what that is and put it in the chat. When you put it 143 00:09:17.520 --> 00:09:21.560 When you put it on, people are like, wow, you look good. 144 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:37.640 I see a lot of winters in here. 145 00:09:38.160 --> 00:09:48.680 Royal blue. I can rock that color too. I love that color. I can wear red. Anyone look 146 00:09:48.680 --> 00:09:52.960 great. First of all, we all look great in red. It's just different tones of red. I 147 00:09:52.960 --> 00:09:59.600 can't wear true red. True red is not a good color. I can't wear true red. I can't 148 00:09:59.600 --> 00:10:00.400 wear true red. 149 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:01.920 that has a lot of blue undertone in it. 150 00:10:01.920 --> 00:10:04.560 That's what true red looks like. 151 00:10:04.560 --> 00:10:08.400 I can't wear that, but I can wear orange red. 152 00:10:08.400 --> 00:10:11.560 An orangey red, that looks good on me. 153 00:10:11.560 --> 00:10:13.420 Yes, pink. 154 00:10:14.840 --> 00:10:16.160 And there's all different versions of pink. 155 00:10:16.160 --> 00:10:17.880 There's hot pink. 156 00:10:17.880 --> 00:10:22.280 There's this bubblegum pink, this Barbie pink. 157 00:10:22.280 --> 00:10:23.360 I call this Barbie pink. 158 00:10:23.360 --> 00:10:25.320 There's Barbie pink. 159 00:10:25.320 --> 00:10:26.180 There's hot pink. 160 00:10:26.180 --> 00:10:29.280 Anyone like some fuchsia, some hot pink? 161 00:10:29.280 --> 00:10:33.120 Fuchsia's more red pink, but hot pink is, 162 00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:35.160 you guys remember, we wore it in the 80s. 163 00:10:38.880 --> 00:10:41.740 Okay, so here's the thing. 164 00:10:42.800 --> 00:10:47.520 Looking better is as simple as 165 00:10:48.520 --> 00:10:50.700 wearing something in your color palette. 166 00:10:52.760 --> 00:10:53.920 Isn't that crazy? 167 00:10:55.720 --> 00:10:57.240 You can give yourself a little mini makeover 168 00:10:57.240 --> 00:10:59.080 just by wearing something that's your color. 169 00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:03.240 And you guys, and I understand because I'm a neutral girl. 170 00:11:03.240 --> 00:11:04.900 I love black. 171 00:11:04.900 --> 00:11:06.020 It's so easy. 172 00:11:06.920 --> 00:11:08.280 I love white. 173 00:11:08.280 --> 00:11:09.780 It's so easy. 174 00:11:09.780 --> 00:11:14.780 I love tan-ish, not tan-tan, but I love a neutral beige, 175 00:11:16.960 --> 00:11:19.080 which I look terrible in, by the way. 176 00:11:19.080 --> 00:11:22.360 But it's so easy, because it goes with everything. 177 00:11:22.360 --> 00:11:27.360 I love this one taupe-y color, blush color pink. 178 00:11:29.240 --> 00:11:31.160 But it looks terrible on me. 179 00:11:31.160 --> 00:11:36.160 I mean, it literally is the same color like as, 180 00:11:36.240 --> 00:11:37.480 it's not the color of my skin. 181 00:11:37.480 --> 00:11:40.880 I do like this one color that is the same color of my skin. 182 00:11:40.880 --> 00:11:42.880 And every time I wear it, my husband's like, 183 00:11:42.880 --> 00:11:45.360 you look naked. 184 00:11:45.360 --> 00:11:47.000 You don't even look like you have a shirt on. 185 00:11:47.000 --> 00:11:49.600 Like, that shirt's the same color as your skin. 186 00:11:49.600 --> 00:11:51.320 Anybody else? 187 00:11:51.320 --> 00:11:54.240 Anybody else ever seen a picture? 188 00:11:54.240 --> 00:11:55.840 I just told my friend this the other day. 189 00:11:55.840 --> 00:11:58.760 She sent me a picture of her at Disney World with her son, 190 00:11:59.440 --> 00:12:00.280 and they're here. 191 00:12:00.280 --> 00:12:03.440 But in the background, back here, there's some people. 192 00:12:03.440 --> 00:12:06.760 And one of the ladies has on like a beige tank top, 193 00:12:06.760 --> 00:12:08.040 and I had to double-take, 194 00:12:08.040 --> 00:12:10.680 because it looked like she was topless. 195 00:12:10.680 --> 00:12:12.200 It looked like she was naked. 196 00:12:12.200 --> 00:12:16.680 Has anyone ever seen anyone with darker skin like me? 197 00:12:16.680 --> 00:12:20.200 So, olive skin, Hispanic skin, black skin. 198 00:12:20.200 --> 00:12:22.760 Has anyone ever seen anyone like that 199 00:12:22.760 --> 00:12:26.400 in flesh-colored yoga pants? 200 00:12:27.400 --> 00:12:30.760 You will look twice, three times, four times 201 00:12:30.760 --> 00:12:32.960 to make sure that that person has pants on, 202 00:12:32.960 --> 00:12:36.800 because you think they are pants-less. 203 00:12:36.800 --> 00:12:37.880 You just do. 204 00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:41.600 Okay, some people can rock this color. 205 00:12:41.600 --> 00:12:44.760 I don't know who, but it's not me, right? 206 00:12:44.760 --> 00:12:47.120 And it's probably not you either. 207 00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:50.560 Someone in here maybe, but most of you, no. 208 00:12:50.560 --> 00:12:51.400 No. 209 00:12:52.600 --> 00:12:53.600 No, no, no, no, no. 210 00:12:53.680 --> 00:12:56.440 Okay, so go ahead and put in the chat 211 00:12:56.440 --> 00:12:58.920 a color that you gravitate towards, 212 00:12:58.920 --> 00:13:01.480 because you like it, but it looks terrible on you. 213 00:13:02.400 --> 00:13:03.400 It looks terrible on you. 214 00:13:03.400 --> 00:13:05.360 You know it. 215 00:13:05.360 --> 00:13:07.040 People always say to you, 216 00:13:07.040 --> 00:13:09.320 look, everyone should have a Barb in their life. 217 00:13:09.320 --> 00:13:10.960 My mother-in-law's name is Barb, 218 00:13:10.960 --> 00:13:13.320 and she's 82 years old, and she will say, 219 00:13:13.320 --> 00:13:17.920 Jackie, that shirt is not your season. 220 00:13:17.920 --> 00:13:18.840 You're a winter. 221 00:13:18.840 --> 00:13:20.360 Like, she will scold me, 222 00:13:20.360 --> 00:13:21.920 because she comes from that generation 223 00:13:21.920 --> 00:13:24.520 where you dressed in your color palette. 224 00:13:24.520 --> 00:13:25.880 You just did. 225 00:13:25.880 --> 00:13:28.240 And she'd be like, nope, that's not your color. 226 00:13:28.240 --> 00:13:29.320 Not your color. 227 00:13:29.320 --> 00:13:31.800 And it could be something that even looks decent on me, 228 00:13:31.800 --> 00:13:33.440 something close to my palette, 229 00:13:33.440 --> 00:13:34.760 and she'd be like, no. 230 00:13:36.040 --> 00:13:37.720 She's hardcore, man. 231 00:13:39.280 --> 00:13:41.120 She could be on a What Not to Wear show, 232 00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:43.920 because she is kind of mean, actually. 233 00:13:46.400 --> 00:13:48.080 She's one of those ladies that'll be like, 234 00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:49.520 are you gonna wear that? 235 00:13:49.520 --> 00:13:52.040 Like, I was thinking about it, 236 00:13:53.560 --> 00:13:56.200 but now you have me doubting whether I should or not. 237 00:14:01.840 --> 00:14:05.040 You guys, I have a lot of rough critics in my life. 238 00:14:05.040 --> 00:14:07.600 I have a friend, and she comes from a culture 239 00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:11.440 that just thinks everyone should be as skinny as possible. 240 00:14:11.440 --> 00:14:12.920 That's just her culture. 241 00:14:12.920 --> 00:14:15.440 And if you're bigger than skinny, 242 00:14:15.440 --> 00:14:18.840 then you just, it's not good. 243 00:14:18.840 --> 00:14:20.520 And I saw her just recently, 244 00:14:20.520 --> 00:14:21.880 and she hadn't seen me for a while, 245 00:14:21.880 --> 00:14:23.640 and she's like, Jackie. 246 00:14:23.640 --> 00:14:24.520 She said, what happened? 247 00:14:24.520 --> 00:14:25.520 You're so fat. 248 00:14:27.960 --> 00:14:29.760 I was like, thanks, Lily. 249 00:14:30.760 --> 00:14:32.320 Like, what the heck? 250 00:14:34.640 --> 00:14:37.320 But she's just, she just comes from, 251 00:14:37.320 --> 00:14:38.680 she just comes from a culture. 252 00:14:38.680 --> 00:14:42.360 She comes from a country where everyone, 253 00:14:42.360 --> 00:14:46.240 it's very prioritized to be very, very, very thin. 254 00:14:46.240 --> 00:14:49.680 In fact, they have stores in that culture 255 00:14:49.680 --> 00:14:52.480 that are called, the word translated into English 256 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:55.240 just means fatso, 257 00:14:55.240 --> 00:14:58.600 and it's for people that are over a size four. 258 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.200 So it's just kind of fun. 259 00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:06.900 No, she's not from Argentina. 260 00:15:06.900 --> 00:15:08.000 She's she's Asian. 261 00:15:08.400 --> 00:15:10.700 It is really is really fun. 262 00:15:10.800 --> 00:15:14.400 Funny funny fun, but you know, I'm already almost 6 feet tall. 263 00:15:14.400 --> 00:15:15.300 So hello. 264 00:15:15.500 --> 00:15:17.100 I'm not going to be a size 2. 265 00:15:19.000 --> 00:15:22.500 Okay, so you guys all relative but look, I believe this with all my 266 00:15:22.500 --> 00:15:24.300 heart because we're going to little makeovers tonight. 267 00:15:24.300 --> 00:15:27.400 We could do a little ask Jackie if you guys want to jump into that 268 00:15:27.400 --> 00:15:29.900 since you guys missed me this month, but 269 00:15:30.300 --> 00:15:31.200 everybody 270 00:15:32.100 --> 00:15:35.100 can look good with whatever you're working with. 271 00:15:36.000 --> 00:15:40.800 Everybody everybody can there isn't anyone who can't 272 00:15:41.600 --> 00:15:46.800 use whatever you got to work with and and feel your best and put your 273 00:15:46.800 --> 00:15:51.500 best foot forward, especially when you're out here meeting new people. 274 00:15:52.400 --> 00:15:57.900 And I know that we get really really ticked off when we think about 275 00:15:58.000 --> 00:16:00.200 men being visual. 276 00:16:01.600 --> 00:16:08.100 Okay, I've had so many women get very not just angry but very hurt when 277 00:16:08.100 --> 00:16:12.200 they feel like men are just superficial 278 00:16:13.500 --> 00:16:14.800 in the area of looks. 279 00:16:15.000 --> 00:16:19.300 So I want to talk about that for a second you guys because some of this 280 00:16:19.300 --> 00:16:22.100 culture and there's definitely trends in culture. 281 00:16:22.100 --> 00:16:27.500 A lot of us grew up in the 60s 70s 80s when very very thin was in style. 282 00:16:28.400 --> 00:16:31.600 You know, all of the supermodels that needed to sandwich, you know, you 283 00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:33.700 just want to give them a sandwich because they look like they needed a 284 00:16:33.700 --> 00:16:37.800 sandwich that's coming back in style with all this GLP stuff like 285 00:16:37.800 --> 00:16:40.100 Hollywood is bringing is trying to bring that back. 286 00:16:40.100 --> 00:16:44.600 Just the really sickly skinny looks like your anorexic badness. 287 00:16:45.100 --> 00:16:46.700 We don't ascribe to that. 288 00:16:46.800 --> 00:16:47.300 Okay. 289 00:16:48.200 --> 00:16:53.100 I love the trend where athleticism was in style healthy bodies were in 290 00:16:53.100 --> 00:16:56.200 style body positivity. 291 00:16:56.900 --> 00:17:01.000 Now body positivity has a fine line, you know, if you're healthy and 292 00:17:01.000 --> 00:17:03.300 you're living a healthy life, whatever your body looks like. 293 00:17:03.300 --> 00:17:04.300 That's what it looks like. 294 00:17:04.500 --> 00:17:09.099 But if you're not healthy, we're not going to celebrate, you know, we're 295 00:17:09.099 --> 00:17:11.800 not going to celebrate people that are not living healthy lives just to 296 00:17:11.800 --> 00:17:12.500 be inclusive. 297 00:17:12.500 --> 00:17:14.200 That's that doesn't make any sense to me. 298 00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:16.400 I mean that's not doing anyone any favors. 299 00:17:16.700 --> 00:17:19.300 So we're not going to talk about the trends now. 300 00:17:19.300 --> 00:17:21.900 There are men who are watching porn. 301 00:17:22.099 --> 00:17:25.900 They have unrealistic expectations of what women's bodies look like 302 00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:29.100 they're fixated on youth and on young women. 303 00:17:29.200 --> 00:17:30.600 We don't want those men. 304 00:17:30.600 --> 00:17:32.700 We don't care about those men. 305 00:17:33.400 --> 00:17:34.700 They're not all the men. 306 00:17:34.700 --> 00:17:36.300 They're not even the majority of men. 307 00:17:36.300 --> 00:17:38.300 And so I want you just to let go of that. 308 00:17:38.700 --> 00:17:41.200 If you meet a man like that, thank you next. 309 00:17:42.100 --> 00:17:42.800 You listening? 310 00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:47.900 If you meet a man like that that acts like you're not valuable because of 311 00:17:47.900 --> 00:17:52.900 your age, you're not valuable because you're not some ideal of what he says 312 00:17:52.900 --> 00:17:54.200 a woman should look like. 313 00:17:54.400 --> 00:17:57.400 He's telling you everything that you need to know about him without you 314 00:17:57.400 --> 00:18:01.900 wasting any of your time or life on potentially trying to get to know him. 315 00:18:02.700 --> 00:18:04.700 I call that good. 316 00:18:06.500 --> 00:18:07.200 Don't you? 317 00:18:09.600 --> 00:18:10.500 I love it. 318 00:18:11.600 --> 00:18:12.600 I call it good. 319 00:18:14.300 --> 00:18:19.400 So but I do deal with a lot of women who still get very very upset when nice 320 00:18:19.400 --> 00:18:21.500 guys guys that are not like that. 321 00:18:21.500 --> 00:18:27.600 They're not hyper fixated on sexuality and sexiness and youth and women's 322 00:18:27.600 --> 00:18:31.500 bodies and their butts and their boobs and all the different things and 323 00:18:31.800 --> 00:18:35.000 wanting something that they don't measure up to because most of the time 324 00:18:35.000 --> 00:18:37.500 they do not look like what it is that they're looking for. 325 00:18:38.200 --> 00:18:46.000 But all the other guys that still gravitate towards women that in your 326 00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:49.500 mind, you think are young and are thinner. 327 00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:51.900 I want to explain this for a second. 328 00:18:52.300 --> 00:18:54.000 I've done some research on this. 329 00:18:54.000 --> 00:18:55.600 I've prayed into it. 330 00:18:55.700 --> 00:19:00.900 I've been running into this a lot in the last six years with Mary in 12 months 331 00:19:00.900 --> 00:19:07.700 or less and last year single and what I have seen is that a lot of that is 332 00:19:07.700 --> 00:19:08.700 biology. 333 00:19:09.100 --> 00:19:10.300 It's not even cultural. 334 00:19:10.600 --> 00:19:11.600 It's biology. 335 00:19:12.400 --> 00:19:17.600 I know we don't like to hear this about ourselves, but there is a animalistic 336 00:19:17.700 --> 00:19:20.300 tendency that we have in our flesh. 337 00:19:20.300 --> 00:19:23.100 Remember our flesh was the fallen part of us. 338 00:19:23.700 --> 00:19:28.900 So our flesh instead of being higher elevated our elevated self our higher 339 00:19:28.900 --> 00:19:30.400 self is our spirit man. 340 00:19:31.500 --> 00:19:34.600 And the soul is kind of caught in a tug-of-war in between the spirit and 341 00:19:34.600 --> 00:19:35.600 the flesh, right? 342 00:19:36.800 --> 00:19:39.800 But our flesh it in our flesh. 343 00:19:39.800 --> 00:19:45.800 We have a lot of biology just ways that were hardwired and a lot of that. 344 00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:49.300 Please hear me out has to do with procreation. 345 00:19:50.200 --> 00:19:53.900 It has to do with procreation and it's not conscious. 346 00:19:54.300 --> 00:19:58.200 It's not a conscious thought men aren't sitting around saying I want to pick 347 00:19:58.200 --> 00:20:00.000 the healthiest woman to procreate with. 348 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:02.940 to have my babies, especially older men 349 00:20:02.940 --> 00:20:05.460 that don't necessarily want to have children anymore. 350 00:20:05.460 --> 00:20:08.100 And their age bracket or their dating pool 351 00:20:08.100 --> 00:20:11.660 would be older women who don't want to have children anymore 352 00:20:11.660 --> 00:20:13.860 or past the age of having children. 353 00:20:13.860 --> 00:20:17.940 It's still an unconscious kind of hard wiring 354 00:20:17.940 --> 00:20:20.580 where they're still looking for the healthiest person. 355 00:20:20.580 --> 00:20:22.300 Do you guys understand what I'm saying? 356 00:20:22.300 --> 00:20:26.020 And there are attributes of the feminine body 357 00:20:26.020 --> 00:20:31.020 that send an unspoken signal about that woman's fertility, 358 00:20:32.840 --> 00:20:35.640 okay, about that woman's health. 359 00:20:37.560 --> 00:20:39.000 And it's important that we understand 360 00:20:39.000 --> 00:20:41.800 that this is a lot of what's going on with these men 361 00:20:41.800 --> 00:20:43.400 when they're looking at pictures of women 362 00:20:43.400 --> 00:20:44.940 or they're scrolling through dating apps 363 00:20:44.940 --> 00:20:45.880 and different things. 364 00:20:45.880 --> 00:20:47.720 If they're not the guys that are addicted to porn, 365 00:20:47.720 --> 00:20:49.800 if they're not the guys that have bought into 366 00:20:49.800 --> 00:20:53.280 all these really unrealistic, almost bizarre expectations 367 00:20:53.280 --> 00:20:54.660 of what women should look like, 368 00:20:54.680 --> 00:20:57.600 then they are men that in their flesh, 369 00:20:58.600 --> 00:21:00.520 they're just hardwired to be looking 370 00:21:00.520 --> 00:21:02.760 for health and fertility. 371 00:21:02.760 --> 00:21:04.200 Do you see what I'm saying? 372 00:21:04.200 --> 00:21:05.960 Now, what does that say for all of us women, 373 00:21:05.960 --> 00:21:08.440 including myself, that are over the age of childbearing? 374 00:21:08.440 --> 00:21:11.800 It means that they're not looking for younger women. 375 00:21:11.800 --> 00:21:13.340 And I know a lot of us believe that, 376 00:21:13.340 --> 00:21:14.680 but the Lord really showed me this. 377 00:21:14.680 --> 00:21:15.600 So I want you to listen 378 00:21:15.600 --> 00:21:17.180 because this is not even just me talking. 379 00:21:17.180 --> 00:21:19.960 I believe that Holy Spirit showed me this. 380 00:21:19.960 --> 00:21:23.280 They're looking for youthfulness, 381 00:21:23.300 --> 00:21:25.940 not youth, but youthfulness. 382 00:21:26.860 --> 00:21:28.340 Does that make sense to you? 383 00:21:28.340 --> 00:21:31.020 Do you guys understand what I'm saying? 384 00:21:33.020 --> 00:21:35.060 And I talk about this in phase two. 385 00:21:35.060 --> 00:21:37.060 I know we did invite phase two to come tonight. 386 00:21:37.060 --> 00:21:38.360 I don't know if they will or not 387 00:21:38.360 --> 00:21:41.040 because they do have their own session, 388 00:21:41.040 --> 00:21:42.580 but I wanted them to experience 389 00:21:42.580 --> 00:21:45.700 what a ladies' night is all about. 390 00:21:46.580 --> 00:21:48.120 But let's see. 391 00:21:49.140 --> 00:21:50.780 I wanna see for a sec. 392 00:21:51.080 --> 00:21:51.920 I don't know. 393 00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:54.440 I can't, I really can't tell who's in phase two. 394 00:21:54.440 --> 00:21:56.000 Oh, some people are from phase two. 395 00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:57.400 Hi, phase two. 396 00:21:57.400 --> 00:21:59.080 We're so excited to have you guys. 397 00:21:59.080 --> 00:22:03.160 Okay, so I talk about this in phase two 398 00:22:03.160 --> 00:22:05.160 when I talk about the divine feminine. 399 00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:09.760 Ladies, if you want to be attractive to a man, 400 00:22:09.760 --> 00:22:13.560 it isn't about looking like you're 20 years younger, 401 00:22:13.560 --> 00:22:17.000 but it is about remembering what you were like 402 00:22:17.000 --> 00:22:19.080 when you were 20 years younger. 403 00:22:19.220 --> 00:22:24.220 More carefree, full of joy or laughter, 404 00:22:24.220 --> 00:22:26.100 having fun, more laid back. 405 00:22:26.100 --> 00:22:27.540 And I'm not talking about laid back 406 00:22:27.540 --> 00:22:30.540 to the point of letting someone 407 00:22:30.540 --> 00:22:32.540 be toxically passive in your life. 408 00:22:32.540 --> 00:22:34.380 I'm not talking about any of that. 409 00:22:34.380 --> 00:22:36.420 But one thing that happens to women as we get older 410 00:22:36.420 --> 00:22:37.980 is we get a little bit harder. 411 00:22:38.860 --> 00:22:40.420 And another thing that happens to women 412 00:22:40.420 --> 00:22:44.140 that have been single for a long time as they get older, 413 00:22:44.140 --> 00:22:46.740 they get a lot more responsible. 414 00:22:46.740 --> 00:22:49.120 A lot more responsible, right? 415 00:22:49.120 --> 00:22:52.600 And responsibility can come off as rigidness. 416 00:22:52.600 --> 00:22:54.520 It can come off as being rigid. 417 00:22:54.520 --> 00:22:56.680 It can come off as being frigid. 418 00:22:56.680 --> 00:22:58.360 And I will tell you, because I coach men 419 00:22:58.360 --> 00:23:00.600 and I've coached men for a really long time, 420 00:23:00.600 --> 00:23:03.240 the biggest fear men have 421 00:23:03.240 --> 00:23:05.840 is that they're going to marry a woman 422 00:23:05.840 --> 00:23:08.040 who is hard to deal with 423 00:23:09.200 --> 00:23:11.820 because she's always worried about something. 424 00:23:11.820 --> 00:23:13.400 She doesn't know how to let her hair down. 425 00:23:13.400 --> 00:23:14.720 She doesn't know how to have fun. 426 00:23:14.740 --> 00:23:17.260 And she doesn't like to have sex. 427 00:23:20.380 --> 00:23:21.680 That's their biggest fear. 428 00:23:23.400 --> 00:23:24.420 They're so simple. 429 00:23:24.420 --> 00:23:26.520 You guys, stop making men so complicated. 430 00:23:26.520 --> 00:23:28.640 They're so fricking simple. 431 00:23:30.060 --> 00:23:31.520 God love them. 432 00:23:31.520 --> 00:23:33.980 I heard someone just recently say God made Adam 433 00:23:33.980 --> 00:23:37.860 and then the female Eve was Mankind 2.0. 434 00:23:37.860 --> 00:23:39.140 And I have to agree. 435 00:23:41.300 --> 00:23:43.460 Women are on a higher operating system. 436 00:23:45.500 --> 00:23:46.700 We are. 437 00:23:46.700 --> 00:23:48.060 God love these men. 438 00:23:48.060 --> 00:23:51.480 They can build stuff and we thank them for it. 439 00:23:52.400 --> 00:23:53.940 And I'm not downplaying the masculine. 440 00:23:53.940 --> 00:23:56.620 It is part of God's nature. 441 00:23:56.620 --> 00:24:00.660 And it is a serving, building, 442 00:24:02.100 --> 00:24:03.700 leading prototype. 443 00:24:03.700 --> 00:24:04.540 And I love it. 444 00:24:04.540 --> 00:24:08.240 But women are so more complex, okay? 445 00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:11.100 Men are the pack of eight primary colors 446 00:24:11.100 --> 00:24:13.680 and women are that 164 box of crayons 447 00:24:13.700 --> 00:24:15.740 that you always wanted and your mom would never buy you 448 00:24:15.740 --> 00:24:20.740 that had the sharpener and had atomic tangerine 449 00:24:20.900 --> 00:24:24.100 and electric lime and all the crazy colors. 450 00:24:24.100 --> 00:24:24.940 That's you. 451 00:24:28.480 --> 00:24:30.940 So stop making men complicated. 452 00:24:30.940 --> 00:24:32.180 You know what men want? 453 00:24:32.180 --> 00:24:33.960 They wanna live in peace. 454 00:24:33.960 --> 00:24:35.820 They want peace. 455 00:24:35.820 --> 00:24:37.760 They wanna be able to please you. 456 00:24:37.760 --> 00:24:39.980 They wanna be able to make you happy. 457 00:24:39.980 --> 00:24:43.100 If they feel, even unconsciously, 458 00:24:43.600 --> 00:24:45.760 in the first couple dates with you, 459 00:24:45.760 --> 00:24:47.960 the first couple, you guys, not two weeks in, 460 00:24:47.960 --> 00:24:50.840 not three months in, day one, day two, 461 00:24:50.840 --> 00:24:53.420 that you're the kind of person that's hard to please, 462 00:24:53.420 --> 00:24:54.600 that you're the kind of person 463 00:24:54.600 --> 00:24:57.840 that has crazy expectations that cannot be met. 464 00:24:57.840 --> 00:25:00.080 And I'm not telling you not to have standards. 465 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.360 I'm not telling you to dumb yourself down, but if you've not done your heart work and 466 00:25:04.360 --> 00:25:07.920 you're showing up like, you know, what have you done for me lately, if you're showing 467 00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:14.760 up, you know, hard to please, if you're showing up high maintenance, it's not attractive. 468 00:25:14.760 --> 00:25:18.200 It's not. 469 00:25:18.200 --> 00:25:20.960 What you're basically telling that man is that you're going to work this relationship 470 00:25:20.960 --> 00:25:27.740 like a job and I'm probably still not going to be happy with you. 471 00:25:27.740 --> 00:25:33.460 So if you lost your joy, we got to go find it. 472 00:25:33.460 --> 00:25:38.540 If you lost your sense of humor, you got to go find it before you get out in these dating 473 00:25:38.540 --> 00:25:40.480 streets. 474 00:25:40.480 --> 00:25:50.880 If you can't laugh at yourself and other people appropriately, you got to go find it. 475 00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:56.700 If you show up like he's got to prove something to you and he's got to pay for all what every 476 00:25:56.700 --> 00:26:03.020 other man ever did in your life, oh, honey, no, all right, we got to unpack all that 477 00:26:03.020 --> 00:26:04.020 before we get here. 478 00:26:04.020 --> 00:26:05.020 All right. 479 00:26:05.020 --> 00:26:06.020 So let's talk about this. 480 00:26:06.020 --> 00:26:10.300 Let's talk about what this looks practically because you thought I was going to like mini 481 00:26:10.300 --> 00:26:13.700 makeover and we can, we can critique your hairstyle. 482 00:26:13.700 --> 00:26:19.660 Some of you have had the same hairstyle since high school and it's time for a change, okay? 483 00:26:19.660 --> 00:26:22.940 I wish I could show you a picture of one of my students, Donna, she doesn't even look 484 00:26:22.940 --> 00:26:24.500 like the same person. 485 00:26:24.500 --> 00:26:26.000 We gave her a complete makeover. 486 00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:28.320 She came into this program with a poof y'all. 487 00:26:28.320 --> 00:26:32.120 She had a poof, you know, the poof from the eighties and nineties. 488 00:26:32.120 --> 00:26:36.440 Well, she had it sweet mother Jesus. 489 00:26:36.440 --> 00:26:40.860 She was teasing and back home in a little poof and her hair was fine. 490 00:26:40.860 --> 00:26:45.200 So just look, made it look even more fine and she didn't ever, she didn't have any makeup 491 00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:52.800 on like any, and she was wearing like clothes that made her look 20 years older than she 492 00:26:52.800 --> 00:26:53.800 was. 493 00:26:53.800 --> 00:26:55.840 And you guys, I was on a coaching call with her. 494 00:26:56.680 --> 00:26:58.400 This is early, this is early six years ago. 495 00:26:58.400 --> 00:27:00.240 This is so I was still doing coaching calls. 496 00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:03.360 Did you guys know I used to do coaching calls with every single person that came in the 497 00:27:03.360 --> 00:27:06.860 program like early on, like six years ago. 498 00:27:06.860 --> 00:27:10.000 And I was on a coaching call with her and I said, okay, so the age bracket of man we're 499 00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:12.360 looking for is like 60 to 70. 500 00:27:12.360 --> 00:27:14.640 She's like, what? 501 00:27:14.640 --> 00:27:18.920 And I was like, well, how old are you Donna? 502 00:27:18.920 --> 00:27:21.560 And then she told me, and she was like three years older than me. 503 00:27:21.560 --> 00:27:24.040 I'm like, shut the front door. 504 00:27:24.080 --> 00:27:30.800 I was like, we need a makeover staff stat. 505 00:27:30.800 --> 00:27:36.080 So she came to my very first retreat in 2021 in Austin, Texas. 506 00:27:36.080 --> 00:27:37.080 And guess what? 507 00:27:37.080 --> 00:27:40.200 We got a little hands on her and we gave her a makeover. 508 00:27:40.200 --> 00:27:45.520 And then after that makeover, she had another coaching call with me and I gave her a consultation 509 00:27:45.520 --> 00:27:51.520 on what to tell her hairdresser and what to tell this person and what to look for. 510 00:27:51.520 --> 00:27:56.160 And I'm telling you what, I'll put a before and after in your group so you can see, but 511 00:27:56.160 --> 00:27:58.280 doesn't even look like the same woman. 512 00:27:58.280 --> 00:28:01.760 You wouldn't even know that it's the same person. 513 00:28:01.760 --> 00:28:06.320 You guys, a little bit goes such a long way, such a long way. 514 00:28:06.320 --> 00:28:08.100 She was already beautiful. 515 00:28:08.100 --> 00:28:09.240 She just was hiding behind. 516 00:28:09.240 --> 00:28:16.920 I mean, she had like, I think she had given birth to like 11 kids. 517 00:28:16.920 --> 00:28:19.240 Yeah. 518 00:28:19.240 --> 00:28:21.760 And then she unfortunately had to get divorced. 519 00:28:21.760 --> 00:28:26.960 So 11 kids in, divorced. 520 00:28:26.960 --> 00:28:28.560 I think it was 11. 521 00:28:28.560 --> 00:28:31.560 I think I'm, I think I got that number right. 522 00:28:31.560 --> 00:28:35.880 So she had been used to putting herself last is all I'm saying. 523 00:28:35.880 --> 00:28:37.240 Okay. 524 00:28:37.240 --> 00:28:38.760 So let's talk about this. 525 00:28:38.760 --> 00:28:47.720 What are some things that you ladies feel like you're struggling with in this category 526 00:28:47.720 --> 00:28:55.320 of showing up a little rigid, a little frigid, a little closed off, a little walled off, 527 00:28:55.320 --> 00:28:57.040 not fun, no sense of humor. 528 00:28:57.040 --> 00:29:00.440 You get offended really easily. 529 00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:06.720 You know, when he makes a joke that you don't like, or says something walking on eggshells, 530 00:29:06.720 --> 00:29:14.320 anyone feel like you got that going on, forgot how to smile ladies, these platysmal bands 531 00:29:14.320 --> 00:29:15.320 in your neck. 532 00:29:15.320 --> 00:29:16.320 Look at this. 533 00:29:16.320 --> 00:29:20.440 Look at these little, these, these, these, these are called platysmal bands. 534 00:29:20.440 --> 00:29:24.840 These are the muscles and tendons that cause you to smile. 535 00:29:24.840 --> 00:29:26.360 And okay. 536 00:29:26.360 --> 00:29:33.920 As we get older, pretty much anytime after 40, these start to pull down the corners of 537 00:29:33.920 --> 00:29:34.920 your mouth. 538 00:29:34.920 --> 00:29:36.800 This is what resting bitch face is. 539 00:29:36.800 --> 00:29:37.800 Okay. 540 00:29:37.800 --> 00:29:45.160 RBF is just, you're getting older and these bands are starting to pull down your mouth. 541 00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:52.800 So if you're not actively talking or actively smiling and you're just at rest, a lot of 542 00:29:52.800 --> 00:29:57.280 times it looks like you're frowning. 543 00:29:57.280 --> 00:29:58.280 You hear me? 544 00:29:58.280 --> 00:30:00.040 You're like, Jackie, what are you saying? 545 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.200 And what are you saying? I'm just saying mind your face. 546 00:30:02.900 --> 00:30:03.500 Mind it. 547 00:30:04.400 --> 00:30:04.900 Okay, 548 00:30:05.700 --> 00:30:06.700 pay attention to it. 549 00:30:07.900 --> 00:30:10.880 Ask yourself in your head when you're sitting at meeting 550 00:30:10.900 --> 00:30:13.680 someone when you're out in public and you're hoping to run 551 00:30:13.700 --> 00:30:14.700 into someone, 552 00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:17.500 you know that might want to take you on a date or something. 553 00:30:17.700 --> 00:30:21.580 Just make sure that you remind your face not to look mad and 554 00:30:21.600 --> 00:30:23.400 angry like the angry cat. 555 00:30:23.900 --> 00:30:25.300 We don't want to look like angry cat. 556 00:30:25.300 --> 00:30:27.300 He's cute, but he's a cat. 557 00:30:30.300 --> 00:30:33.280 You know what Audrey Hepburn said that, you know, a pretty 558 00:30:33.300 --> 00:30:34.600 girl is a happy girl. 559 00:30:35.400 --> 00:30:38.180 And that really annoys a lot of us because we're like whatever 560 00:30:38.200 --> 00:30:39.500 but it's true. 561 00:30:41.700 --> 00:30:45.100 You guys so much of your looks have to do with 562 00:30:45.700 --> 00:30:46.700 smiling. 563 00:30:46.800 --> 00:30:49.300 I want to see everyone's best smile right now. 564 00:30:50.300 --> 00:30:52.100 Best smile with or without teeth. 565 00:30:52.100 --> 00:30:52.800 Let's see it. 566 00:30:52.800 --> 00:30:53.900 I'm scrolling through. 567 00:30:54.600 --> 00:30:55.200 Come on. 568 00:30:55.200 --> 00:30:56.700 You guys got some great looks. 569 00:30:56.700 --> 00:30:57.800 I'm scrolling through. 570 00:30:58.600 --> 00:30:59.100 Come on. 571 00:30:59.100 --> 00:31:01.300 You guys got some great smiles. 572 00:31:02.600 --> 00:31:04.700 This is how a man's going to fall in love right now. 573 00:31:04.700 --> 00:31:05.700 Just so you know. 574 00:31:06.100 --> 00:31:07.000 Smiling. 575 00:31:07.300 --> 00:31:08.000 Come on, Emily. 576 00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:08.800 Let's see it. 577 00:31:10.900 --> 00:31:12.100 Smile. 578 00:31:15.600 --> 00:31:16.200 Chill. 579 00:31:16.300 --> 00:31:17.000 Let's go. 580 00:31:17.900 --> 00:31:18.600 There you go. 581 00:31:18.900 --> 00:31:19.800 Pearly whites. 582 00:31:21.400 --> 00:31:21.900 All right. 583 00:31:22.400 --> 00:31:25.400 So that being said the biggest thing that you can do 584 00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:29.400 in my opinion for a makeover is 585 00:31:29.900 --> 00:31:30.900 think about your teeth. 586 00:31:32.500 --> 00:31:33.700 Crest white strips. 587 00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:36.300 There's all kinds of different things out there now. 588 00:31:36.300 --> 00:31:37.700 Just give your teeth a little makeover. 589 00:31:38.500 --> 00:31:39.600 Just give them a little makeover. 590 00:31:40.600 --> 00:31:41.100 You know, 591 00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:42.800 I'm a teeth person. 592 00:31:42.800 --> 00:31:44.000 Anyone else a teeth person? 593 00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:44.900 You like teeth? 594 00:31:46.300 --> 00:31:47.400 You like teeth. 595 00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:50.880 You're hoping to find a man who's got great teeth because 596 00:31:50.900 --> 00:31:52.300 you like teeth. 597 00:31:54.600 --> 00:31:56.100 Someone's like my dad's a dentist. 598 00:31:57.400 --> 00:31:58.300 Yeah. 599 00:31:58.700 --> 00:31:59.100 All right. 600 00:31:59.100 --> 00:32:01.480 So it doesn't matter if you have dentures y'all if you have a 601 00:32:01.500 --> 00:32:03.200 partial none of that matters. 602 00:32:03.200 --> 00:32:06.200 What matters is you can work with what you got. 603 00:32:07.100 --> 00:32:08.300 You can smile more. 604 00:32:08.900 --> 00:32:09.500 You can 605 00:32:10.500 --> 00:32:11.900 you can clean them up. 606 00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:12.600 You can 607 00:32:13.200 --> 00:32:16.280 you guys they have teeth cleanings for new patients new 608 00:32:16.300 --> 00:32:20.000 patients special teeth cleanings and x-rays $99. 609 00:32:21.900 --> 00:32:22.400 Okay. 610 00:32:25.600 --> 00:32:26.400 Seriously. 611 00:32:27.300 --> 00:32:29.380 And some of you may not want to do this, but you know that you 612 00:32:29.400 --> 00:32:32.500 can go to the dental school and get a free teeth cleaning 613 00:32:33.600 --> 00:32:37.180 or like almost free like 25 bucks where people are learning 614 00:32:37.200 --> 00:32:39.100 to be hygienists and stuff. 615 00:32:39.100 --> 00:32:41.300 You can go to in your area. 616 00:32:41.400 --> 00:32:44.180 I promise you there's one of those schools and they have a 617 00:32:44.200 --> 00:32:47.800 day where you can go if you're really hard up for cash. 618 00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:49.100 I used to go to the 619 00:32:49.600 --> 00:32:50.900 Oh, and here's another thing. 620 00:32:50.900 --> 00:32:51.900 Here's the tips. 621 00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:53.300 Here's the Jackie tips. 622 00:32:53.600 --> 00:32:56.000 I used to go to the Aveda school. 623 00:32:57.100 --> 00:32:58.100 I love Aveda products. 624 00:32:58.100 --> 00:32:59.100 They smell so good. 625 00:32:59.200 --> 00:33:02.380 I used to go to that stylist school where the kids are going 626 00:33:02.400 --> 00:33:05.400 to school to be hairstylists under the brand Aveda. 627 00:33:05.700 --> 00:33:06.800 I used to go there. 628 00:33:07.100 --> 00:33:09.300 I think it was like Tuesdays and Thursdays. 629 00:33:09.600 --> 00:33:12.300 You can get manis and petties for like 30 bucks. 630 00:33:12.500 --> 00:33:14.100 You can get your haircut. 631 00:33:14.100 --> 00:33:17.380 You can get highlights and you guys are all being supervised 632 00:33:17.400 --> 00:33:18.600 by a master stylist. 633 00:33:18.600 --> 00:33:19.900 So they're not going to mess you up. 634 00:33:20.700 --> 00:33:22.500 I never had a bad experience. 635 00:33:23.500 --> 00:33:24.300 I never did. 636 00:33:24.400 --> 00:33:26.200 I never got anything drastic done there. 637 00:33:26.200 --> 00:33:27.200 Don't get a perm. 638 00:33:27.700 --> 00:33:29.000 My God, don't get a perm. 639 00:33:30.400 --> 00:33:31.400 You guys, please. 640 00:33:32.700 --> 00:33:34.380 I know that they are going to lie to you and tell you that 641 00:33:34.400 --> 00:33:35.600 perms are different now. 642 00:33:36.100 --> 00:33:36.800 They're not. 643 00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:38.700 They're not. 644 00:33:39.500 --> 00:33:43.780 Perms are same as they've always been a bad idea to not 645 00:33:43.800 --> 00:33:45.200 ever get a perm. 646 00:33:45.300 --> 00:33:49.280 Okay, so go to the Aveda salon or whatever the Paul Mitchell 647 00:33:49.300 --> 00:33:51.200 salon school the school. 648 00:33:52.100 --> 00:33:54.780 Find out call them find out what days their students are 649 00:33:54.880 --> 00:33:57.380 taking because you guys in order to get their licenses, 650 00:33:57.580 --> 00:33:59.080 they have to practice on people. 651 00:33:59.980 --> 00:34:02.460 They have to and remember they're being overseen by 652 00:34:02.480 --> 00:34:03.680 master stylist. 653 00:34:03.680 --> 00:34:04.780 That's their teachers. 654 00:34:05.080 --> 00:34:06.280 And so it's not scary. 655 00:34:06.380 --> 00:34:06.880 All right. 656 00:34:07.680 --> 00:34:10.080 All right, who wants to be brave enough to jump in? 657 00:34:13.980 --> 00:34:17.860 Tetracycline stains on your teeth and Dennis tell me that 658 00:34:17.880 --> 00:34:18.980 bleaching won't work. 659 00:34:18.980 --> 00:34:20.080 Yes, it is true. 660 00:34:20.980 --> 00:34:22.960 If you don't know what a tetracycline stain is you guys 661 00:34:22.960 --> 00:34:25.060 it was antibiotics back in the day. 662 00:34:25.659 --> 00:34:29.040 And one of the side effects of those antibiotics was it 663 00:34:29.060 --> 00:34:30.060 stains your teeth. 664 00:34:30.060 --> 00:34:32.840 Some people I had a boyfriend who had tetracycline stains 665 00:34:32.860 --> 00:34:35.139 and his teeth look like little candy corns, you know, the 666 00:34:35.159 --> 00:34:39.560 different colors, you know, and he was a hot guy. 667 00:34:39.860 --> 00:34:42.159 And so he had that he had that going on. 668 00:34:42.360 --> 00:34:47.040 And so for people that have that you might want to look 669 00:34:47.060 --> 00:34:48.360 into 670 00:34:49.260 --> 00:34:51.159 they have this thing called 671 00:34:52.159 --> 00:34:54.639 let me think for like I think for a minute was called it's 672 00:34:54.659 --> 00:34:59.060 called not bonding is called composite resin. 673 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.280 deposit resin, and it's so much cheaper than veneers, 674 00:35:03.280 --> 00:35:05.680 and so many dentists do it now. 675 00:35:05.680 --> 00:35:07.720 It's just a really, they don't shave your teeth down 676 00:35:07.720 --> 00:35:09.160 like the old veneers. 677 00:35:09.160 --> 00:35:12.840 They put this little tiny shell on top of your tooth 678 00:35:13.880 --> 00:35:15.840 that just covers your tooth, like a little, 679 00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:18.780 your tooth just puts on a little, a little shell. 680 00:35:21.720 --> 00:35:22.840 So look into that. 681 00:35:24.080 --> 00:35:25.320 They have payment plans. 682 00:35:25.320 --> 00:35:26.600 Like I said, it's a much cheaper, 683 00:35:26.600 --> 00:35:28.480 veneers are super expensive, and veneers, 684 00:35:28.920 --> 00:35:30.880 the old type of veneers, they shave your teeth down 685 00:35:30.880 --> 00:35:33.920 into little fangs. 686 00:35:33.920 --> 00:35:35.240 Don't let them shave your teeth, you guys. 687 00:35:35.240 --> 00:35:36.760 That's not even necessary anymore. 688 00:35:36.760 --> 00:35:37.600 Don't do that. 689 00:35:37.600 --> 00:35:39.120 But anyway, whoever said that, 690 00:35:39.120 --> 00:35:41.600 Jeannie, I think, about the tetracycline stains. 691 00:35:41.600 --> 00:35:42.880 And you know what else? 692 00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:44.300 Rock it out. 693 00:35:44.300 --> 00:35:47.720 Put on some lipstick that looks good with your teeth. 694 00:35:47.720 --> 00:35:48.880 That's another thing, you guys, 695 00:35:48.880 --> 00:35:52.080 so many times I see people that are wearing a lipstick shade 696 00:35:52.080 --> 00:35:53.800 that makes your teeth look yellow. 697 00:35:53.800 --> 00:35:54.640 Why? 698 00:35:54.640 --> 00:35:55.960 Let's not do this. 699 00:35:55.960 --> 00:35:57.700 You cannot do this. 700 00:35:57.700 --> 00:36:02.700 Do not wear lipstick that has violet, 701 00:36:02.780 --> 00:36:07.780 or that has yellow and green and brown undertones. 702 00:36:10.720 --> 00:36:14.140 Your teeth are gonna look yellow. 703 00:36:14.140 --> 00:36:15.100 Blue undertones, too. 704 00:36:15.100 --> 00:36:17.300 If you wear like a blue-red lipstick, 705 00:36:17.300 --> 00:36:20.820 even if you have really white teeth, uh-uh, okay? 706 00:36:20.820 --> 00:36:24.280 You want lipsticks with undertones 707 00:36:24.280 --> 00:36:25.940 that make your teeth look whiter. 708 00:36:28.460 --> 00:36:30.540 And it's a really easy way to find out. 709 00:36:30.540 --> 00:36:32.860 If you can't look in the mirror and tell, 710 00:36:32.860 --> 00:36:35.740 then put up a sheet of white paper next to your teeth 711 00:36:35.740 --> 00:36:39.340 and see if your teeth look yellow with lipstick on. 712 00:36:39.340 --> 00:36:40.180 That's how you do it. 713 00:36:40.180 --> 00:36:41.220 Just put up a piece of paper, 714 00:36:41.220 --> 00:36:43.060 white paper right next to your teeth, 715 00:36:43.060 --> 00:36:47.420 and say, ah, do my teeth, do my teeth look yellow? 716 00:36:47.420 --> 00:36:49.340 Don't wear lipstick that makes your teeth look yellow. 717 00:36:49.340 --> 00:36:51.980 Okay, all right, who wants to jump in there? 718 00:36:51.980 --> 00:36:53.380 Tamika, let's see you. 719 00:36:53.380 --> 00:36:54.580 Let me, I'm gonna turn on the light 720 00:36:54.580 --> 00:36:55.620 because it's getting dark in here. 721 00:36:55.620 --> 00:36:56.820 Let me turn on the light. 722 00:36:58.700 --> 00:36:59.540 Okay. 723 00:37:06.980 --> 00:37:07.820 Hi. 724 00:37:09.240 --> 00:37:10.080 All right. 725 00:37:12.620 --> 00:37:13.940 All right, Tamika. 726 00:37:13.940 --> 00:37:14.780 Yes. 727 00:37:14.780 --> 00:37:17.220 What do you want us to talk to you about? 728 00:37:17.220 --> 00:37:18.500 What do you want to do? 729 00:37:18.500 --> 00:37:23.220 I struggle with performance-based dating. 730 00:37:23.220 --> 00:37:26.100 What I mean by that is I want to show up 731 00:37:26.100 --> 00:37:28.060 as my authentic self. 732 00:37:28.060 --> 00:37:29.540 I'm a fun-loving person. 733 00:37:29.540 --> 00:37:30.500 I like to laugh. 734 00:37:30.500 --> 00:37:31.940 I like to joke. 735 00:37:31.940 --> 00:37:33.700 I have a sense of humor, 736 00:37:33.700 --> 00:37:37.140 but sometimes I come in as, 737 00:37:37.140 --> 00:37:39.580 I gotta make sure I do everything just right 738 00:37:39.580 --> 00:37:40.900 to get a second date. 739 00:37:40.900 --> 00:37:44.580 And I think I'm in my way at times. 740 00:37:44.580 --> 00:37:48.380 How do I balance the being feminine, 741 00:37:48.380 --> 00:37:51.860 bringing my feminine self to a date 742 00:37:51.860 --> 00:37:55.660 versus just being the fun-loving person 743 00:37:56.220 --> 00:37:58.900 that I know I am? 744 00:37:58.900 --> 00:38:00.580 Okay, such a great question. 745 00:38:00.580 --> 00:38:03.140 How many of you would say 746 00:38:03.140 --> 00:38:05.600 that I'm in that boat rowing with Tamika? 747 00:38:05.600 --> 00:38:08.700 Like I find myself really trying 748 00:38:08.700 --> 00:38:11.900 to win this person over, 749 00:38:11.900 --> 00:38:13.180 to make them like me. 750 00:38:13.180 --> 00:38:14.700 Doesn't even matter if I like them. 751 00:38:14.700 --> 00:38:16.860 I haven't even decided if I like them yet, 752 00:38:16.860 --> 00:38:18.540 but I'm just trying to get them to like me 753 00:38:18.540 --> 00:38:19.860 because I don't want to be rejected. 754 00:38:19.860 --> 00:38:21.960 I just want them to give me a second date. 755 00:38:23.220 --> 00:38:24.820 Right? 756 00:38:24.820 --> 00:38:25.660 Let's see. 757 00:38:25.660 --> 00:38:26.940 How many of you, 758 00:38:26.940 --> 00:38:28.420 just put in the chat, 759 00:38:28.420 --> 00:38:30.060 put yes, that's me. 760 00:38:30.060 --> 00:38:32.220 I'm just trying to find a better place to sit, you guys. 761 00:38:32.220 --> 00:38:33.980 That couch is hurting my back. 762 00:38:38.780 --> 00:38:40.100 Okay. 763 00:38:40.100 --> 00:38:40.940 All right, so you guys, 764 00:38:40.940 --> 00:38:43.520 this is kind of a form of anxious attachment, 765 00:38:45.420 --> 00:38:47.740 sort of a form of anxious attachment. 766 00:38:47.740 --> 00:38:49.860 So basically what you're saying 767 00:38:49.860 --> 00:38:53.440 is that my value comes from your approval. 768 00:38:55.180 --> 00:38:56.780 Feel me? 769 00:38:56.780 --> 00:38:59.980 My value comes from people's approval. 770 00:38:59.980 --> 00:39:01.340 And so Tamika, first off, 771 00:39:01.340 --> 00:39:05.160 I just want you to think to yourself like, 772 00:39:05.160 --> 00:39:08.900 am I only like this with romantic possibilities? 773 00:39:08.900 --> 00:39:11.500 Or is this a theme of my life? 774 00:39:11.500 --> 00:39:16.500 Did I have to perform for approval or affection as a child? 775 00:39:16.660 --> 00:39:17.820 What do you got, Tamika? 776 00:39:17.820 --> 00:39:19.780 Is this a pattern throughout your life? 777 00:39:21.880 --> 00:39:23.540 Yes, it's a pattern. 778 00:39:23.540 --> 00:39:24.580 Yeah. Okay. 779 00:39:25.340 --> 00:39:27.340 And who in your life started the pattern with you, 780 00:39:27.340 --> 00:39:29.180 where you felt like you weren't accepted 781 00:39:29.180 --> 00:39:30.940 unless you just crossed all the T's 782 00:39:30.940 --> 00:39:32.500 and dotted all the I's? 783 00:39:32.500 --> 00:39:34.460 I started with the parents. 784 00:39:35.380 --> 00:39:36.460 Parents. 785 00:39:36.460 --> 00:39:37.820 Yeah. 786 00:39:37.820 --> 00:39:38.660 Okay. 787 00:39:38.660 --> 00:39:39.820 And it just continued on. 788 00:39:39.820 --> 00:39:40.660 Right. 789 00:39:40.660 --> 00:39:42.340 And have you ever been married before? 790 00:39:42.340 --> 00:39:43.940 No, I've not been married. 791 00:39:43.940 --> 00:39:46.100 Have you been in a long-term relationship? 792 00:39:46.100 --> 00:39:47.380 No. 793 00:39:47.380 --> 00:39:48.360 Okay. 794 00:39:48.360 --> 00:39:49.200 All right. 795 00:39:49.200 --> 00:39:51.900 So, here's the thing. 796 00:39:51.900 --> 00:39:54.140 And for everyone who deals with this, 797 00:39:54.660 --> 00:39:55.500 I've dealt with a lot of people 798 00:39:55.500 --> 00:39:57.460 who have more of an anxious attachment style, 799 00:39:57.460 --> 00:39:59.460 and this is how it shows up in dating. 800 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.000 And you have to get to a place where you are okay 801 00:40:06.400 --> 00:40:10.500 with someone rejecting you when you're being yourself. 802 00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:14.480 Okay? 803 00:40:14.480 --> 00:40:15.320 Okay. 804 00:40:15.320 --> 00:40:18.040 And you have to get to, and this is how you're gonna do it. 805 00:40:18.040 --> 00:40:23.040 You're going to, you can't erase the pattern, 806 00:40:23.060 --> 00:40:24.600 but you can replace the pattern. 807 00:40:24.600 --> 00:40:27.200 Has anyone ever sewed anything? 808 00:40:27.200 --> 00:40:30.320 Has anyone ever made anything from scratch by sewing? 809 00:40:30.320 --> 00:40:31.160 Okay. 810 00:40:31.160 --> 00:40:32.680 So we follow something called patterns, right? 811 00:40:32.680 --> 00:40:33.760 When we sew. 812 00:40:33.760 --> 00:40:35.340 And for those of you that have never sewn, 813 00:40:35.340 --> 00:40:37.760 it is a tedious process and I hated it. 814 00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:40.240 So I quit, but there are people that are really good at it. 815 00:40:40.240 --> 00:40:42.100 And some people can sew without a pattern, 816 00:40:42.100 --> 00:40:43.480 but when you have a pattern, 817 00:40:43.480 --> 00:40:45.280 like say you're gonna make a dress, 818 00:40:45.280 --> 00:40:47.520 you cut out the different pieces of the dress 819 00:40:47.520 --> 00:40:50.440 and you put the material over the pieces of the pattern 820 00:40:50.440 --> 00:40:52.360 and you cut the pieces of the material out 821 00:40:52.360 --> 00:40:54.160 so they match the pattern. 822 00:40:54.160 --> 00:40:56.080 This big piece of paper 823 00:40:56.080 --> 00:40:58.880 that has all the different pieces of the dress. 824 00:40:58.880 --> 00:41:01.000 And if you want to make the dress 825 00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:03.080 that's on the front of the package, 826 00:41:03.080 --> 00:41:05.840 you're going to follow that pattern to the T. 827 00:41:07.040 --> 00:41:08.140 All right? 828 00:41:08.140 --> 00:41:09.840 And if you're me, you're gonna get halfway through 829 00:41:09.840 --> 00:41:11.360 and then you're gonna cuss 830 00:41:11.360 --> 00:41:13.180 and then you're gonna throw it in the trash. 831 00:41:13.180 --> 00:41:14.020 All right. 832 00:41:14.020 --> 00:41:16.600 But for the people that follow the pattern and did it right, 833 00:41:16.600 --> 00:41:18.720 they made the dress exactly what it looked like 834 00:41:18.720 --> 00:41:19.760 on the front. 835 00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:22.160 But if you make, like say, you know, 836 00:41:22.160 --> 00:41:25.720 it has a bow right here and you don't really want the bow, 837 00:41:26.360 --> 00:41:29.360 you don't want the bow to be the empire waist or the bow. 838 00:41:29.360 --> 00:41:30.520 You don't want that. 839 00:41:30.520 --> 00:41:32.400 So you just omit that part of the pattern 840 00:41:32.400 --> 00:41:33.240 and then what happens? 841 00:41:33.240 --> 00:41:34.960 You get a different product, don't you? 842 00:41:34.960 --> 00:41:37.120 If you change any piece of the pattern, 843 00:41:37.120 --> 00:41:38.920 you're going to get a different product. 844 00:41:38.920 --> 00:41:40.840 Now, Tamika can't change the pattern 845 00:41:40.840 --> 00:41:43.040 that she was given as a child, 846 00:41:43.040 --> 00:41:46.440 that she was given, it was taught and it was also caught. 847 00:41:47.720 --> 00:41:48.840 Right? 848 00:41:48.840 --> 00:41:51.880 Her parents taught it by their behavior 849 00:41:51.880 --> 00:41:55.480 and they also had her catch it by just watching them 850 00:41:56.240 --> 00:41:58.600 it's ingrained to a certain extent. 851 00:41:58.600 --> 00:42:02.160 So the only way that Tamika can come against this, 852 00:42:02.160 --> 00:42:03.880 the only way she can change the product 853 00:42:03.880 --> 00:42:06.280 because that pattern has given her the product 854 00:42:06.280 --> 00:42:08.880 of a people pleaser is brought on the product 855 00:42:08.880 --> 00:42:11.560 of someone who's always performing, 856 00:42:11.560 --> 00:42:13.080 always editing themselves, 857 00:42:13.080 --> 00:42:15.040 seeing, am I what this person wants? 858 00:42:15.040 --> 00:42:16.520 Am I giving them what they need? 859 00:42:16.520 --> 00:42:18.160 You know, am I making them happy? 860 00:42:18.160 --> 00:42:19.960 She's never stopping to ask herself, 861 00:42:19.960 --> 00:42:21.520 does she even like them? 862 00:42:21.520 --> 00:42:22.640 Is she happy? 863 00:42:22.640 --> 00:42:26.800 Does she even want a relationship with this person? 864 00:42:26.800 --> 00:42:29.800 Not even just a romance, but friendships, all the things. 865 00:42:29.800 --> 00:42:34.200 So the way that she's going to start to change the product 866 00:42:34.200 --> 00:42:36.800 of her fear of rejection, fear of man, 867 00:42:36.800 --> 00:42:39.800 people pleasing, performing, 868 00:42:39.800 --> 00:42:41.360 is she is going to change 869 00:42:41.360 --> 00:42:42.720 just one little piece of the pattern. 870 00:42:42.720 --> 00:42:44.120 So Tamika, this is where we're going to start. 871 00:42:44.120 --> 00:42:45.200 One little baby step. 872 00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:49.040 Tell me what it is. 873 00:42:49.920 --> 00:42:52.240 What do you do every single time 874 00:42:52.240 --> 00:42:54.320 that you're just going to stop doing this time around? 875 00:42:54.320 --> 00:42:55.160 Just one thing. 876 00:43:03.960 --> 00:43:06.520 I'm just going to show up as myself. 877 00:43:06.520 --> 00:43:09.720 I mean, that's a big, that's a big bite of the elephant 878 00:43:09.720 --> 00:43:11.120 because it's like, then what is my, 879 00:43:11.120 --> 00:43:13.880 what is myself and what does that look like? 880 00:43:13.880 --> 00:43:16.440 Tell me one thing that you know that you do 881 00:43:16.440 --> 00:43:18.400 when you're performing, just one thing. 882 00:43:19.040 --> 00:43:24.040 Do you, are you too amicable? 883 00:43:25.360 --> 00:43:28.520 Do you just, do you let them talk the entire time? 884 00:43:28.520 --> 00:43:30.800 Do you let them pick the place? 885 00:43:30.800 --> 00:43:34.680 Do you, do you check your text messages constantly 886 00:43:34.680 --> 00:43:37.160 to see if they're going to ask you out again? 887 00:43:37.160 --> 00:43:38.520 Like something, one thing that you do. 888 00:43:38.520 --> 00:43:40.080 I'm agreeable. 889 00:43:40.080 --> 00:43:41.680 I think I'm too agreeable. 890 00:43:41.680 --> 00:43:42.640 You're too agreeable. 891 00:43:42.640 --> 00:43:44.280 Let's get, give me a scenario. 892 00:43:44.280 --> 00:43:45.280 Give me a scenario. 893 00:43:45.440 --> 00:43:49.760 Uh, when someone asks me something that I like to do 894 00:43:49.760 --> 00:43:53.880 or I'm usually letting them do most of the talking 895 00:43:53.880 --> 00:43:58.520 and I'm just either agreeing or nodding or just going along, 896 00:43:58.520 --> 00:44:01.840 sometimes I don't get a chance to share what I like 897 00:44:01.840 --> 00:44:03.560 or what I'm into. 898 00:44:03.560 --> 00:44:06.760 I'm just kind of going along with whatever that person 899 00:44:06.760 --> 00:44:09.080 is saying that they enjoy doing. 900 00:44:09.080 --> 00:44:10.040 Okay. 901 00:44:10.040 --> 00:44:10.880 All right. 902 00:44:10.880 --> 00:44:14.280 So the next time that Tameka's asked where she wants to eat, 903 00:44:14.280 --> 00:44:17.320 what kind of food she likes, where she wants to go, 904 00:44:17.320 --> 00:44:19.320 instead of saying, you know, I'm open, you know, 905 00:44:19.320 --> 00:44:21.920 whatever you think, she's going to give an answer. 906 00:44:21.920 --> 00:44:22.760 Okay. 907 00:44:22.760 --> 00:44:23.840 That's one small thing. 908 00:44:23.840 --> 00:44:25.160 And I want to tell you ladies, 909 00:44:25.160 --> 00:44:28.280 I know that we call them pick me girls, right? 910 00:44:28.280 --> 00:44:30.720 And we think, especially if we come from 911 00:44:30.720 --> 00:44:32.160 a certain generation, 912 00:44:32.160 --> 00:44:36.400 we think that if we just are really easy for a man 913 00:44:36.400 --> 00:44:40.200 and we just go along with the flow and whatever he wants 914 00:44:40.200 --> 00:44:43.520 and you know, we just let him talk and we nod 915 00:44:43.600 --> 00:44:45.680 and we laugh when we're supposed to, 916 00:44:45.680 --> 00:44:47.520 that they're going to choose us. 917 00:44:47.520 --> 00:44:49.360 But I'm telling you the good men, the healthy men, 918 00:44:49.360 --> 00:44:51.000 they don't want a woman like that. 919 00:44:51.000 --> 00:44:51.920 Okay. 920 00:44:51.920 --> 00:44:55.240 My son broke up with a beautiful girl. 921 00:44:55.240 --> 00:44:57.720 This girl was so pretty on the outside. 922 00:44:57.720 --> 00:44:59.320 But I said, you know, what happened? 923 00:44:59.320 --> 00:45:00.720 You know, this was the only. 924 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.120 The girl that he even kind of dated before his now fiance, 925 00:45:03.120 --> 00:45:05.520 he gets married in less than 10 days. 926 00:45:05.520 --> 00:45:10.160 I said, I said, what didn't you like about her? 927 00:45:10.160 --> 00:45:13.040 And he said, she didn't have her own opinions. 928 00:45:13.040 --> 00:45:15.280 He said, it was like whatever I wanted. 929 00:45:15.280 --> 00:45:16.880 She was just like, okay. 930 00:45:16.880 --> 00:45:19.020 And I just thought it was so boring. 931 00:45:21.320 --> 00:45:22.480 It's boring. 932 00:45:22.480 --> 00:45:23.400 Yeah. 933 00:45:23.400 --> 00:45:26.160 Men, guys, there's a fine line 934 00:45:27.120 --> 00:45:32.120 between being a challenge and being challenging. 935 00:45:33.640 --> 00:45:37.000 There's a fine line between being a challenge 936 00:45:37.000 --> 00:45:38.160 and being challenging. 937 00:45:38.160 --> 00:45:40.840 And I'm gonna tell you one thing, men like a challenge. 938 00:45:40.840 --> 00:45:41.760 They really do. 939 00:45:41.760 --> 00:45:42.880 They like a challenge. 940 00:45:42.880 --> 00:45:46.560 They don't like someone who's challenging, okay? 941 00:45:46.560 --> 00:45:48.440 Because you're always upset 942 00:45:48.440 --> 00:45:50.720 and it's just a challenging relationship. 943 00:45:50.720 --> 00:45:52.280 But they do like a challenge. 944 00:45:52.280 --> 00:45:53.800 They do wanna win you over. 945 00:45:53.840 --> 00:45:58.400 They do want to learn more about you, 946 00:45:58.400 --> 00:46:00.600 to be intrigued by you. 947 00:46:00.600 --> 00:46:02.040 And so what Tamika is gonna do 948 00:46:02.040 --> 00:46:05.360 is she's gonna show up with some thoughts of her own. 949 00:46:07.400 --> 00:46:08.880 All right, can you think of anything else 950 00:46:08.880 --> 00:46:10.180 that you know that you do? 951 00:46:11.800 --> 00:46:14.120 That you're trying to win the second date? 952 00:46:14.120 --> 00:46:17.520 Things that you do to try to win the second date? 953 00:46:22.520 --> 00:46:23.600 Anything? 954 00:46:24.360 --> 00:46:25.200 Nothing. 955 00:46:25.200 --> 00:46:27.560 That would just be the agreeable part 956 00:46:27.560 --> 00:46:30.840 and just kind of going along with the flow. 957 00:46:32.160 --> 00:46:36.880 I sometimes, well, I don't actively flirt 958 00:46:36.880 --> 00:46:39.280 if I'm interested in someone. 959 00:46:39.280 --> 00:46:42.740 For some reason, I forget how to do that. 960 00:46:42.740 --> 00:46:46.960 So I don't know if that's something I can do as well. 961 00:46:46.960 --> 00:46:47.960 No, you gotta do it. 962 00:46:47.960 --> 00:46:51.160 Now, listen, ladies, a lot of ladies have no problem 963 00:46:51.160 --> 00:46:55.440 being really fun and funny with men they do not like. 964 00:46:55.440 --> 00:46:57.200 But as soon as you meet someone 965 00:46:57.200 --> 00:46:58.760 that you're even halfway interested in, 966 00:46:58.760 --> 00:47:00.760 it's like you forget your own name. 967 00:47:00.760 --> 00:47:02.760 You don't even know what's going on. 968 00:47:02.760 --> 00:47:04.960 In fact, some women will go as far as that 969 00:47:04.960 --> 00:47:09.220 if they like a guy, they will act very disinterested. 970 00:47:09.220 --> 00:47:11.480 Like they won't make eye contact. 971 00:47:11.480 --> 00:47:15.340 They will just act kind of like almost mean looking. 972 00:47:15.340 --> 00:47:17.160 Like say you're in community with someone 973 00:47:17.160 --> 00:47:18.920 and you think a guy's cute. 974 00:47:18.920 --> 00:47:21.680 And when he walks by, you look away. 975 00:47:21.680 --> 00:47:23.400 You don't make eye contact. 976 00:47:23.400 --> 00:47:26.160 You pretend like you don't notice him. 977 00:47:26.160 --> 00:47:28.540 But if it's a guy that you're not interested in 978 00:47:28.540 --> 00:47:30.080 that you don't wanna have a date with, 979 00:47:30.080 --> 00:47:32.680 you're like chatting and you're like, hey, hey, hey, hey. 980 00:47:32.680 --> 00:47:33.980 Okay, all right. 981 00:47:33.980 --> 00:47:36.960 So this is another thing that she can do differently. 982 00:47:36.960 --> 00:47:38.160 All right, just one thing. 983 00:47:38.160 --> 00:47:41.640 And the reason why is friends, it's fear of rejection. 984 00:47:41.640 --> 00:47:43.560 There's no fear of rejection from someone 985 00:47:43.560 --> 00:47:47.720 that you don't really care whether they accept you or not. 986 00:47:47.720 --> 00:47:49.660 But there is fear of rejection for someone 987 00:47:49.660 --> 00:47:53.240 that you're interested or intrigued by. 988 00:47:53.240 --> 00:47:58.240 And so what you have to do is you have to, just one thing. 989 00:47:58.520 --> 00:48:01.380 If it's just holding eye contact, Mika, 990 00:48:01.380 --> 00:48:04.920 if it's just giving a smile, all right. 991 00:48:04.920 --> 00:48:07.160 There's the whole joke is like, how do you flirt? 992 00:48:07.160 --> 00:48:11.120 You make eye contact, you smile, you look away. 993 00:48:11.120 --> 00:48:13.720 You look back, you look away. 994 00:48:13.720 --> 00:48:17.340 You look down, you play with your hair, you look away. 995 00:48:18.360 --> 00:48:21.640 It works, it's a real thing, okay? 996 00:48:21.640 --> 00:48:24.120 So how long do you hold the eye contact? 997 00:48:24.120 --> 00:48:29.120 Not long enough to be creepy, but long enough, 998 00:48:29.560 --> 00:48:34.560 a couple beats past a natural eye contact. 999 00:48:35.040 --> 00:48:36.680 Like think about it, when you're just out in public, 1000 00:48:36.680 --> 00:48:39.840 sometimes you'll make eye contact with someone 1001 00:48:39.840 --> 00:48:42.820 and you're not trying to get their attention. 1002 00:48:42.820 --> 00:48:45.760 So you'll just accidentally make eye contact with someone 1003 00:48:45.760 --> 00:48:47.120 and you'll just kind of look away. 1004 00:48:47.120 --> 00:48:49.800 It's no big deal, no one feels weirded out by it. 1005 00:48:49.800 --> 00:48:53.040 But if you're interested in a man and you know, 1006 00:48:53.040 --> 00:48:56.240 you catch his eye, like you make eye contact, 1007 00:48:56.240 --> 00:49:00.740 you hold it and you smile and then you can just look away. 1008 00:49:01.840 --> 00:49:04.740 Not too quickly, right? 1009 00:49:06.200 --> 00:49:11.200 You hold it, smile and then kind of look down and look away. 1010 00:49:11.760 --> 00:49:15.280 You guys, just so you know, looking down is very feminine. 1011 00:49:15.280 --> 00:49:19.680 Okay, all right, so you hold it, you smile 1012 00:49:19.680 --> 00:49:23.720 and then you just look down, look down and away, okay? 1013 00:49:24.680 --> 00:49:28.800 That's very demure, that's very mindful, okay? 1014 00:49:28.800 --> 00:49:30.280 For those of you that know that funny trend. 1015 00:49:30.280 --> 00:49:35.280 Okay, so it's important that you do that. 1016 00:49:35.660 --> 00:49:37.400 Okay, so she's gonna try that, Tamika, 1017 00:49:37.400 --> 00:49:38.320 you're gonna report back to us. 1018 00:49:38.320 --> 00:49:40.120 Are you in phase two or three? 1019 00:49:40.120 --> 00:49:40.960 Three. 1020 00:49:40.960 --> 00:49:43.120 All right, report back, Tamika. 1021 00:49:43.120 --> 00:49:44.280 I will, thank you. 1022 00:49:44.840 --> 00:49:46.000 I don't wanna pitch the book club, 1023 00:49:46.000 --> 00:49:47.120 but I'm gonna go ahead and pitch it. 1024 00:49:47.120 --> 00:49:49.680 I'm gonna tell you, if you have pre-sale books, 1025 00:49:49.680 --> 00:49:51.560 they're on their way, they'll be to you this week. 1026 00:49:51.560 --> 00:49:54.440 They're all packaged up, they're being mailed out. 1027 00:49:54.440 --> 00:49:56.480 It's a very complicated process. 1028 00:49:56.480 --> 00:49:58.080 It's a very strange situation. 1029 00:49:58.080 --> 00:50:00.280 We probably will never do a pre-sale again. 1030 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.560 But you will have them. 1031 00:50:01.560 --> 00:50:02.400 They're all signed. 1032 00:50:02.400 --> 00:50:03.800 I wrote you a little note in your books, 1033 00:50:03.800 --> 00:50:05.240 so they're on the way. 1034 00:50:05.240 --> 00:50:06.800 You'll get them before Book Club starts. 1035 00:50:06.800 --> 00:50:10.140 Book Club starts a week from tonight, next Tuesday. 1036 00:50:10.140 --> 00:50:13.040 Phase three, you will not have any Tuesday offerings 1037 00:50:13.040 --> 00:50:15.080 in the month of June, 1038 00:50:15.080 --> 00:50:18.500 because Tuesdays I will be on the Zoom seat 1039 00:50:18.500 --> 00:50:20.160 in the Book Club. 1040 00:50:20.160 --> 00:50:21.780 If you bought the book in pre-sale, 1041 00:50:21.780 --> 00:50:23.800 then you have a $50 discount on the Book Club. 1042 00:50:23.800 --> 00:50:25.280 Everybody else is full price. 1043 00:50:25.280 --> 00:50:26.660 It's $97. 1044 00:50:26.660 --> 00:50:28.640 But I am gonna go through all the things 1045 00:50:28.640 --> 00:50:30.040 in my new book, Modern Dating Sucks, 1046 00:50:30.040 --> 00:50:31.400 and a lot of it is this. 1047 00:50:31.400 --> 00:50:35.920 Guys, it is a field guide for dating. 1048 00:50:35.920 --> 00:50:38.920 It is not a philosophical book 1049 00:50:38.920 --> 00:50:41.040 about how being single stinks. 1050 00:50:41.040 --> 00:50:44.280 It is designed to get you a summer of love. 1051 00:50:44.280 --> 00:50:46.080 It is designed to have you 1052 00:50:46.080 --> 00:50:50.080 in a marriage-minded relationship in the next few months. 1053 00:50:50.080 --> 00:50:50.920 Okay? 1054 00:50:50.920 --> 00:50:53.020 Giving you all of my matchmaking knowledge, 1055 00:50:53.020 --> 00:50:55.680 helping you community-based matchmake the whole nine yards. 1056 00:50:55.680 --> 00:50:57.920 So if you're thinking about signing up for it, 1057 00:50:58.640 --> 00:50:59.840 let this be your sign. 1058 00:50:59.840 --> 00:51:01.560 But we're gonna do a lot more, 1059 00:51:01.560 --> 00:51:02.960 for those of you that can't afford it, 1060 00:51:02.960 --> 00:51:03.800 don't wanna do it, 1061 00:51:03.800 --> 00:51:05.560 don't have time to do it for whatever reason, 1062 00:51:05.560 --> 00:51:08.040 we are going to be doing a lot of fun things in phase three 1063 00:51:08.040 --> 00:51:10.880 with flirting, with just, you know, 1064 00:51:10.880 --> 00:51:13.380 phase two, you guys already have this kind of content, 1065 00:51:13.380 --> 00:51:15.980 but in phase three, we're gonna be doing a lot of this 1066 00:51:15.980 --> 00:51:17.760 to get you out of your own way. 1067 00:51:17.760 --> 00:51:20.800 All right, so Tameka's gonna report back to us. 1068 00:51:20.800 --> 00:51:24.460 Lou Annie, am I saying that right, Lou Annie? 1069 00:51:24.460 --> 00:51:25.640 Yes. 1070 00:51:25.640 --> 00:51:26.920 Okay. 1071 00:51:26.920 --> 00:51:29.080 So yeah, nice to meet you. 1072 00:51:29.080 --> 00:51:30.760 Are you phase two or three? 1073 00:51:30.760 --> 00:51:31.600 Phase two. 1074 00:51:31.600 --> 00:51:33.720 Awesome, nice to see you. 1075 00:51:33.720 --> 00:51:34.820 Likewise. 1076 00:51:35.840 --> 00:51:37.880 Well, I came through Julie from Miami 1077 00:51:37.880 --> 00:51:39.100 and she really loves you. 1078 00:51:39.100 --> 00:51:41.520 So I'm happy to be here. 1079 00:51:41.520 --> 00:51:42.920 Awesome. 1080 00:51:42.920 --> 00:51:43.760 So. 1081 00:51:45.480 --> 00:51:47.440 You guys, Julie is one of our success stories. 1082 00:51:47.440 --> 00:51:48.400 She just got married. 1083 00:51:48.400 --> 00:51:51.360 I officiated her wedding and she's incredible. 1084 00:51:51.360 --> 00:51:52.240 All right, keep going. 1085 00:51:52.240 --> 00:51:53.080 Yeah, she is. 1086 00:51:53.560 --> 00:51:54.560 Yeah. 1087 00:51:54.560 --> 00:51:59.560 Well, so for the past four years, since I divorced, 1088 00:52:00.040 --> 00:52:02.520 I never had a date, period. 1089 00:52:04.920 --> 00:52:08.160 I could attribute that to various things. 1090 00:52:08.160 --> 00:52:12.200 Could be fear of rejection, whatever. 1091 00:52:12.200 --> 00:52:13.680 I don't know. 1092 00:52:13.680 --> 00:52:15.080 I've tried apps. 1093 00:52:15.080 --> 00:52:20.080 I've had friends that scheduled dinners 1094 00:52:20.640 --> 00:52:23.600 for me to meet that person, but not be too awkward. 1095 00:52:23.600 --> 00:52:28.560 I've had some attempts, but nothing worked. 1096 00:52:28.560 --> 00:52:30.700 Nobody reached out. 1097 00:52:33.180 --> 00:52:35.460 And I started getting super discouraged. 1098 00:52:35.460 --> 00:52:38.480 I moved from Miami to Tulsa, Oklahoma, 1099 00:52:40.360 --> 00:52:42.800 just trying to get away from that scenery 1100 00:52:42.800 --> 00:52:47.800 of just clubs and hot bodies 1101 00:52:48.000 --> 00:52:50.720 and plastic surgery kind of stuff. 1102 00:52:50.720 --> 00:52:51.560 Yeah. 1103 00:52:52.480 --> 00:52:54.680 I've been here for over a year. 1104 00:52:54.680 --> 00:52:56.580 Nothing has happened either. 1105 00:52:58.360 --> 00:53:02.700 I got so discouraged here that I gained 30 pounds. 1106 00:53:07.280 --> 00:53:09.800 So I keep coming to these calls and stuff, 1107 00:53:09.800 --> 00:53:11.940 but most of it is like, oh, okay, 1108 00:53:11.940 --> 00:53:13.120 what do you do when you're dating? 1109 00:53:13.920 --> 00:53:17.840 I mean, I haven't had the chance. 1110 00:53:17.840 --> 00:53:20.960 I've tried all the stuff. 1111 00:53:20.960 --> 00:53:23.640 Okay, all right, so you guys, listen up. 1112 00:53:23.640 --> 00:53:27.380 I know that it sounds like it's an outside problem 1113 00:53:27.380 --> 00:53:30.200 for Lou Annie, and it's easy to think that, 1114 00:53:30.200 --> 00:53:33.640 and it's not that there isn't limitations 1115 00:53:33.640 --> 00:53:36.840 and there isn't obstacles, but every one of you, 1116 00:53:36.840 --> 00:53:39.960 including her, can get on a date, okay? 1117 00:53:39.960 --> 00:53:42.760 Every single one of you, including her, can get on a date. 1118 00:53:43.320 --> 00:53:45.240 I don't know if you realize it, Lou Annie, 1119 00:53:45.240 --> 00:53:50.240 but what you just said actually kind of is the hint, 1120 00:53:50.240 --> 00:53:54.120 and the hint is is that I got here, I got discouraged. 1121 00:53:54.120 --> 00:53:57.480 Discouraged is the first hint, and I gained 30 pounds. 1122 00:53:57.480 --> 00:53:59.840 Now, is 30 pounds keeping you from a date? 1123 00:53:59.840 --> 00:54:00.680 No. 1124 00:54:00.680 --> 00:54:02.120 Is it keeping from men finding you attractive? 1125 00:54:02.120 --> 00:54:04.200 You're very obviously attractive. 1126 00:54:04.200 --> 00:54:05.880 The answer to that is no. 1127 00:54:05.880 --> 00:54:09.280 Is it a limitation in your own mind about yourself? 1128 00:54:09.280 --> 00:54:10.320 Yes, it is. 1129 00:54:11.320 --> 00:54:12.160 Yes, it is. 1130 00:54:12.600 --> 00:54:14.080 Ladies, I want to say this to her, 1131 00:54:14.080 --> 00:54:16.280 and I'm going to say this to all of you. 1132 00:54:16.280 --> 00:54:17.960 All of us want to probably lose weight. 1133 00:54:17.960 --> 00:54:19.240 There might be a couple people in here 1134 00:54:19.240 --> 00:54:20.160 who want to gain some weight, 1135 00:54:20.160 --> 00:54:21.800 because they're super thin, okay, 1136 00:54:21.800 --> 00:54:23.440 and they want to gain some weight. 1137 00:54:23.440 --> 00:54:25.380 God bless you, whoever you are. 1138 00:54:26.800 --> 00:54:28.760 I need to lose probably another, 1139 00:54:28.760 --> 00:54:31.200 I was praying about it today, probably another 25 pounds, 1140 00:54:31.200 --> 00:54:33.560 just to be healthy, okay, just for my BMI 1141 00:54:33.560 --> 00:54:35.000 to be where it needs to be, 1142 00:54:35.000 --> 00:54:37.000 with the menopause and all the things. 1143 00:54:37.000 --> 00:54:40.920 All of us in here, but do we have to wait 1144 00:54:40.920 --> 00:54:43.240 to be loved until we do that? 1145 00:54:43.240 --> 00:54:44.080 No. 1146 00:54:44.080 --> 00:54:45.640 Do we have to wait to date until we do that? 1147 00:54:45.640 --> 00:54:46.480 No. 1148 00:54:46.480 --> 00:54:48.880 In my case, do I have to wait to go speak 1149 00:54:48.880 --> 00:54:51.120 and get on a stage and put on clothes 1150 00:54:51.120 --> 00:54:52.160 that I'm going to be seen in, 1151 00:54:52.160 --> 00:54:53.480 and people take pictures of you, 1152 00:54:53.480 --> 00:54:54.840 and then they always post the ones 1153 00:54:54.840 --> 00:54:56.880 that make you look like a beached whale? 1154 00:54:56.880 --> 00:54:58.640 Do I have to wait? 1155 00:54:58.640 --> 00:55:00.480 No, I do not. 1156 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.000 Don't, okay? 1157 00:55:02.000 --> 00:55:05.320 We have to love ourselves right now, 1158 00:55:05.320 --> 00:55:06.880 because I'm just going to tell you right now, 1159 00:55:06.880 --> 00:55:08.560 I've learned this the hard way. 1160 00:55:08.560 --> 00:55:12.520 If I can't love myself at 192 pounds, which is what I weigh, 1161 00:55:12.520 --> 00:55:15.580 I'm not going to love myself at 170 pounds. 1162 00:55:15.580 --> 00:55:16.800 I'm just not. 1163 00:55:16.800 --> 00:55:18.640 I'm not going to. 1164 00:55:18.640 --> 00:55:19.800 It's not going to happen. 1165 00:55:19.800 --> 00:55:24.800 And so I want you to drop it like it's hot, all right? 1166 00:55:25.700 --> 00:55:29.080 It's time for you to remember that you're a beautiful woman. 1167 00:55:29.080 --> 00:55:30.120 I mean, everyone look at her. 1168 00:55:30.120 --> 00:55:31.280 She's gorgeous. 1169 00:55:31.280 --> 00:55:32.720 She's beautiful. 1170 00:55:32.720 --> 00:55:33.600 She is. 1171 00:55:33.600 --> 00:55:36.520 Now, is your natural hair color blonde? 1172 00:55:36.520 --> 00:55:37.360 No. 1173 00:55:37.360 --> 00:55:38.760 Okay, so you dyed blonde. 1174 00:55:38.760 --> 00:55:43.400 When I divorced, I went through like this whole process 1175 00:55:43.400 --> 00:55:48.320 of those stylists that, you know, 1176 00:55:48.320 --> 00:55:52.760 check your colors and whatever. 1177 00:55:52.760 --> 00:55:55.860 And she like redid my wardrobe and stuff. 1178 00:55:55.860 --> 00:55:59.860 And she suggested this hair color. 1179 00:55:59.860 --> 00:56:02.700 Okay, so it doesn't look bad on you, you know? 1180 00:56:02.700 --> 00:56:06.020 You have on like a really light shirt, you know, and stuff, 1181 00:56:06.020 --> 00:56:08.020 which in this video right now 1182 00:56:08.020 --> 00:56:09.860 with the white background that's behind you, 1183 00:56:09.860 --> 00:56:12.620 it's kind of washing you out a little bit, you know, 1184 00:56:12.620 --> 00:56:14.900 because of the way that you're all set up 1185 00:56:14.900 --> 00:56:17.180 with the white and the white and the blonde. 1186 00:56:17.180 --> 00:56:22.180 And so just remember that, you know, men, ladies, okay? 1187 00:56:23.240 --> 00:56:25.740 I know we love black and we love neutrals, 1188 00:56:26.580 --> 00:56:27.420 but men are crazy. 1189 00:56:27.420 --> 00:56:28.240 They like color. 1190 00:56:28.240 --> 00:56:30.260 I don't know why, but they do. 1191 00:56:30.260 --> 00:56:32.920 And I think that it has to do with the youthfulness. 1192 00:56:32.920 --> 00:56:35.820 It reminds them of youthfulness. 1193 00:56:35.820 --> 00:56:38.620 And so I can't see your dating profile 1194 00:56:38.620 --> 00:56:39.980 because it's not here, 1195 00:56:39.980 --> 00:56:43.720 but first of all, we have to be strategic with apps. 1196 00:56:43.720 --> 00:56:44.780 There's something in the book. 1197 00:56:44.780 --> 00:56:46.580 You guys, by the way, if you can't join the book club, 1198 00:56:46.580 --> 00:56:47.620 the book's phenomenal. 1199 00:56:47.620 --> 00:56:48.900 Get the book, okay? 1200 00:56:48.900 --> 00:56:53.140 There's a place on how you decide what apps to go on, 1201 00:56:53.140 --> 00:56:54.180 which ones to choose. 1202 00:56:54.180 --> 00:56:55.460 She's in Tulsa. 1203 00:56:56.140 --> 00:56:57.460 So she is in cowboy country. 1204 00:56:57.460 --> 00:56:58.300 That's where she is. 1205 00:56:58.300 --> 00:57:00.340 And she's from Miami, all right? 1206 00:57:00.340 --> 00:57:01.860 So one thing that you have to remember, 1207 00:57:01.860 --> 00:57:03.140 and you don't really seem like this, 1208 00:57:03.140 --> 00:57:05.020 but I know a lot of ladies that live in Miami. 1209 00:57:05.020 --> 00:57:07.500 I have a lot of students and clients in Boca, 1210 00:57:07.500 --> 00:57:09.380 in Miami and all those areas. 1211 00:57:09.380 --> 00:57:13.340 And those ladies are high maintenance, okay? 1212 00:57:13.340 --> 00:57:17.140 They are very bougie and they're also really abrasive. 1213 00:57:17.140 --> 00:57:18.740 And you're not coming across that way, 1214 00:57:18.740 --> 00:57:20.540 but I'm gonna tell you, men in Tulsa, 1215 00:57:20.540 --> 00:57:23.460 they wouldn't like that, okay? 1216 00:57:23.500 --> 00:57:28.500 So being sweet, you know, you don't have to be country, 1217 00:57:28.660 --> 00:57:31.220 but being sweet, being very feminine. 1218 00:57:31.220 --> 00:57:33.380 One thing that they're gonna like there is dresses. 1219 00:57:33.380 --> 00:57:34.900 You got a bunch of dresses? 1220 00:57:36.900 --> 00:57:37.860 Not anymore. 1221 00:57:37.860 --> 00:57:40.140 I refuse to buy new clothes. 1222 00:57:40.140 --> 00:57:45.140 I mean, I have the ones that were mine from my normal self, 1223 00:57:46.500 --> 00:57:47.820 but I haven't bought dresses. 1224 00:57:47.820 --> 00:57:49.220 You refuse to buy new clothes 1225 00:57:49.220 --> 00:57:51.100 because you're punishing your body? 1226 00:57:52.100 --> 00:57:52.940 I kind of- 1227 00:57:52.940 --> 00:57:55.980 Honey, we're just being honest with ourselves right now. 1228 00:57:57.860 --> 00:58:00.020 I know that you don't want to dress the body that you have, 1229 00:58:00.020 --> 00:58:00.860 but you know what? 1230 00:58:00.860 --> 00:58:03.700 You deserve a new dress. 1231 00:58:05.260 --> 00:58:06.980 And then when you can't wear it anymore 1232 00:58:06.980 --> 00:58:08.620 because you're wherever you want to be 1233 00:58:08.620 --> 00:58:11.660 in your health journey, you just give it to somebody. 1234 00:58:11.660 --> 00:58:13.620 And let it be their magic sisterhood 1235 00:58:13.620 --> 00:58:17.860 of the traveling dress, right? 1236 00:58:18.420 --> 00:58:20.060 Right? 1237 00:58:20.060 --> 00:58:22.060 You guys, how many of us, I just want you to be honest, 1238 00:58:22.060 --> 00:58:25.140 raise your hand if you have punished yourself 1239 00:58:25.140 --> 00:58:26.860 for not being the weight that you want 1240 00:58:26.860 --> 00:58:29.660 by not allowing yourself to have new pretty things. 1241 00:58:31.580 --> 00:58:33.460 How many of us have done that? 1242 00:58:33.460 --> 00:58:34.820 I've done it. 1243 00:58:34.820 --> 00:58:35.660 I've said it. 1244 00:58:35.660 --> 00:58:38.060 I've said, oh, I'm not buying any more clothes 1245 00:58:38.060 --> 00:58:39.260 until I'm my ideal weight. 1246 00:58:39.260 --> 00:58:41.460 And you know, I understand you don't want to spend money 1247 00:58:41.460 --> 00:58:46.020 too on things, so secondhand stores are golden, okay? 1248 00:58:46.020 --> 00:58:47.060 Thrift stores are golden. 1249 00:58:47.060 --> 00:58:48.940 Secondhand stores are even more golden. 1250 00:58:48.940 --> 00:58:52.260 Things like Uptown Cheapskate. 1251 00:58:52.260 --> 00:58:55.060 There's ones that are like more for our age women. 1252 00:58:55.060 --> 00:58:56.820 I can't remember what the names of those are, 1253 00:58:56.820 --> 00:58:59.060 but I'm sure there's some in Tulsa. 1254 00:58:59.060 --> 00:59:01.980 And go treat yourself to something 1255 00:59:01.980 --> 00:59:03.580 that makes you feel like a million bucks. 1256 00:59:03.580 --> 00:59:06.180 One thing that I know about men is they are attracted 1257 00:59:06.180 --> 00:59:11.180 to women that rock it, that are confident. 1258 00:59:11.460 --> 00:59:13.860 Even if you're not what you want to be, 1259 00:59:13.860 --> 00:59:15.100 it doesn't seem like that. 1260 00:59:15.140 --> 00:59:16.300 Have you guys ever seen the movie 1261 00:59:16.300 --> 00:59:18.060 I Feel Pretty with Amy Schumer? 1262 00:59:19.460 --> 00:59:22.220 She hits her head at SoulCycle, 1263 00:59:22.220 --> 00:59:24.340 and when she looks in the mirror, 1264 00:59:24.340 --> 00:59:27.500 she thinks that she's like the supermodel, 1265 00:59:27.500 --> 00:59:30.020 when she's like so down on herself because of her weight. 1266 00:59:30.020 --> 00:59:32.980 And she believes, she believes this lie 1267 00:59:32.980 --> 00:59:37.140 that her life stinks because of the way that she looks. 1268 00:59:37.140 --> 00:59:38.660 And she's not even trying to change it. 1269 00:59:38.660 --> 00:59:40.700 Like she just finally goes to SoulCycle 1270 00:59:40.700 --> 00:59:42.100 and then she gets hurt. 1271 00:59:42.100 --> 00:59:44.420 But when her view of herself changes 1272 00:59:44.420 --> 00:59:46.420 because of a head injury, 1273 00:59:46.420 --> 00:59:49.020 she lives this life where she's attracting 1274 00:59:49.020 --> 00:59:50.700 all this great stuff to herself 1275 00:59:50.700 --> 00:59:52.860 because she believes she deserves it now 1276 00:59:52.860 --> 00:59:54.900 because she thinks she looks different. 1277 00:59:54.900 --> 00:59:56.340 So she thinks it's because of that, 1278 00:59:56.340 --> 00:59:57.500 but it was her all along. 1279 00:59:57.500 --> 00:59:59.380 It was always her all along. 1280 00:59:59.380 --> 01:00:00.380 And then at the end. 1281 01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.960 And you see her actually trying to become her best self 1282 01:00:02.960 --> 01:00:04.040 with fitness and stuff, 1283 01:00:04.040 --> 01:00:09.040 because now she believes that she's important and valued. 1284 01:00:10.520 --> 01:00:12.280 Friends, we're not gonna ever get in shape 1285 01:00:12.280 --> 01:00:13.560 or become our best selves 1286 01:00:13.560 --> 01:00:17.360 if we don't really believe that we are valued as we are. 1287 01:00:17.360 --> 01:00:18.920 Okay, and so that's a powerful movie. 1288 01:00:18.920 --> 01:00:20.480 If you've never seen it, watch it. 1289 01:00:20.480 --> 01:00:22.280 It does have a few foul parts. 1290 01:00:22.280 --> 01:00:24.080 Watch it on VidAngel. 1291 01:00:24.080 --> 01:00:27.380 Fast forward, be an adult, be a grownup. 1292 01:00:27.380 --> 01:00:28.680 Just fast forward through it. 1293 01:00:28.680 --> 01:00:29.520 Don't come back and say, 1294 01:00:29.520 --> 01:00:33.780 check, how could you tell us to watch that movie? 1295 01:00:33.780 --> 01:00:36.260 Look, sex scenes announce themselves. 1296 01:00:36.260 --> 01:00:37.780 You can see it coming. 1297 01:00:37.780 --> 01:00:39.260 The people are at the house. 1298 01:00:39.260 --> 01:00:40.540 They're acting all sexy. 1299 01:00:40.540 --> 01:00:42.080 Just fast forward it. 1300 01:00:42.080 --> 01:00:43.180 You're fine. 1301 01:00:43.180 --> 01:00:46.180 Okay, so Lou Annie, you are gorgeous. 1302 01:00:46.180 --> 01:00:47.340 You're beautiful. 1303 01:00:47.340 --> 01:00:49.660 You live in the country now, 1304 01:00:49.660 --> 01:00:51.900 but it is a city because it's Tulsa. 1305 01:00:51.900 --> 01:00:54.560 So let's get you, are you on Facebook dating? 1306 01:00:55.860 --> 01:00:56.700 Yes. 1307 01:00:56.700 --> 01:00:58.260 Okay, no luck there? 1308 01:00:59.140 --> 01:00:59.980 No. 1309 01:00:59.980 --> 01:01:01.900 Okay, what about Hinge? 1310 01:01:03.380 --> 01:01:04.220 Tried. 1311 01:01:04.220 --> 01:01:08.520 Okay, do you have neutrals on in your pictures? 1312 01:01:09.740 --> 01:01:11.060 No. 1313 01:01:11.060 --> 01:01:12.340 No, you have color on? 1314 01:01:13.420 --> 01:01:15.140 Do you look good in red? 1315 01:01:15.140 --> 01:01:15.980 No. 1316 01:01:18.100 --> 01:01:21.000 Do you look good in, what bright color do you look good in? 1317 01:01:24.340 --> 01:01:25.460 What, green? 1318 01:01:25.460 --> 01:01:26.480 What color is your eyes? 1319 01:01:26.480 --> 01:01:27.380 I can't see your eyes. 1320 01:01:27.380 --> 01:01:28.220 What color are they? 1321 01:01:29.200 --> 01:01:30.440 They're gray? 1322 01:01:30.440 --> 01:01:31.280 Yeah. 1323 01:01:31.280 --> 01:01:33.160 Okay, so do you look good in purple? 1324 01:01:35.640 --> 01:01:37.920 Like lavender purple colors? 1325 01:01:37.920 --> 01:01:39.160 Lavender, yes. 1326 01:01:39.160 --> 01:01:43.100 Okay, so put on something feminine like that, okay? 1327 01:01:44.880 --> 01:01:46.440 I know we think men like, you know, 1328 01:01:46.440 --> 01:01:49.180 like they like boobs showing and all this stuff, 1329 01:01:49.180 --> 01:01:51.360 but really what they like, ladies, 1330 01:01:51.360 --> 01:01:55.040 is they like to think they can see something, 1331 01:01:55.040 --> 01:01:56.800 but they really can't. 1332 01:01:56.800 --> 01:01:58.000 That's what they like. 1333 01:01:58.780 --> 01:01:59.620 That's what men really like. 1334 01:01:59.620 --> 01:02:01.780 That's what's sexy to men, is when they're like, 1335 01:02:01.780 --> 01:02:04.500 oh, you know, she has some ruffles on. 1336 01:02:04.500 --> 01:02:06.340 You know, it seems like she has, 1337 01:02:06.340 --> 01:02:08.780 oh, she has a dress on and it's flowing 1338 01:02:08.780 --> 01:02:10.600 and I think I see the silhouette of her body, 1339 01:02:10.600 --> 01:02:12.340 but I'm not sure if I do. 1340 01:02:12.340 --> 01:02:16.140 That's what men are really into, just so you know. 1341 01:02:16.140 --> 01:02:18.060 The women that are out here not wearing any clothes, 1342 01:02:18.060 --> 01:02:20.460 they're attracting a man who thinks of women 1343 01:02:20.460 --> 01:02:23.300 as like an object, not a human. 1344 01:02:23.300 --> 01:02:26.140 The men that really are attracted to the feminine, 1345 01:02:26.140 --> 01:02:27.760 they're attracted to silhouettes 1346 01:02:27.760 --> 01:02:30.520 and they're attracted to flowiness and girliness, 1347 01:02:30.520 --> 01:02:32.960 and so I want you to try this 1348 01:02:32.960 --> 01:02:34.920 and I want you to see how it's gonna shift things. 1349 01:02:34.920 --> 01:02:36.160 I really feel in my heart 1350 01:02:36.160 --> 01:02:38.240 like it's gonna shift things for you. 1351 01:02:38.240 --> 01:02:39.600 So put on some color. 1352 01:02:39.600 --> 01:02:42.440 Ladies, any color of bright lipstick 1353 01:02:42.440 --> 01:02:43.480 that looks good with your teeth, 1354 01:02:43.480 --> 01:02:45.280 doesn't make your teeth look yellow. 1355 01:02:45.280 --> 01:02:48.160 Men like, men like, I know we're like, 1356 01:02:48.160 --> 01:02:49.600 do men like red lipstick? 1357 01:02:49.600 --> 01:02:51.520 Yes, they do. 1358 01:02:52.680 --> 01:02:53.600 They do. 1359 01:02:53.600 --> 01:02:54.420 As long as it's not on your teeth. 1360 01:02:54.760 --> 01:02:57.280 I'm Italian, so my teeth are very yellow. 1361 01:02:57.280 --> 01:03:00.080 Like, it's genetic. 1362 01:03:00.080 --> 01:03:02.360 Press white strips, baby. 1363 01:03:02.360 --> 01:03:03.540 Okay. 1364 01:03:03.540 --> 01:03:05.760 Oh, seriously, they work like a charm. 1365 01:03:05.760 --> 01:03:07.980 You guys, they're even better than the dentist. 1366 01:03:07.980 --> 01:03:09.600 Oh, you know what else you guys can get? 1367 01:03:09.600 --> 01:03:11.820 Opal Essence, is it called Opal Essence? 1368 01:03:11.820 --> 01:03:14.240 Yes, on Amazon. 1369 01:03:14.240 --> 01:03:15.800 And they'll send you all these little trays, 1370 01:03:15.800 --> 01:03:17.320 you put them in and it's super cheap. 1371 01:03:17.320 --> 01:03:20.440 I think it's like $30, $40, you guys. 1372 01:03:20.440 --> 01:03:24.320 Get some of those, do those, all right? 1373 01:03:25.140 --> 01:03:30.140 And let's stop disqualifying ourselves. 1374 01:03:30.220 --> 01:03:31.940 Remember, men are simple. 1375 01:03:31.940 --> 01:03:32.780 They're simple. 1376 01:03:32.780 --> 01:03:35.340 Now, let's ask you this. 1377 01:03:35.340 --> 01:03:37.800 Do you have really high standards about men? 1378 01:03:37.800 --> 01:03:40.420 Are you super, super picky when it comes to guys? 1379 01:03:41.900 --> 01:03:42.940 Yeah. 1380 01:03:42.940 --> 01:03:44.600 Uh-huh, all right, tell us. 1381 01:03:49.020 --> 01:03:51.660 I'm short, so I like really tall men. 1382 01:03:51.660 --> 01:03:52.940 Of course. 1383 01:03:52.960 --> 01:03:54.280 Because that makes sense. 1384 01:04:01.880 --> 01:04:04.600 If you need a ladder, the taller the better. 1385 01:04:04.600 --> 01:04:05.420 Yeah. 1386 01:04:09.800 --> 01:04:14.800 I like Burnett, but like flowy, good hair kind of deal. 1387 01:04:15.500 --> 01:04:20.500 I like beard, but not like hairy, hairy. 1388 01:04:24.660 --> 01:04:26.860 Smile, teeth, like all that. 1389 01:04:26.860 --> 01:04:27.700 Yeah, yeah. 1390 01:04:30.660 --> 01:04:33.020 Perfume, I don't know. 1391 01:04:33.020 --> 01:04:33.860 I think that's it. 1392 01:04:33.860 --> 01:04:37.820 So much of this, how long did you live in Miami for? 1393 01:04:37.820 --> 01:04:38.660 14 years. 1394 01:04:38.660 --> 01:04:41.260 Okay, so you can take the girls, 1395 01:04:41.560 --> 01:04:42.480 14 years. 1396 01:04:42.480 --> 01:04:45.780 Okay, so you can take the girl out of Miami, 1397 01:04:45.780 --> 01:04:47.600 but you can't take Miami out of the girl, 1398 01:04:47.600 --> 01:04:49.680 because what's happening here is that you lived- 1399 01:04:49.680 --> 01:04:50.520 I realized it. 1400 01:04:50.520 --> 01:04:54.640 You lived in this hyper fixated superficial world 1401 01:04:54.640 --> 01:04:58.340 for so long, and you're still judging yourself by it. 1402 01:04:58.340 --> 01:05:00.080 Look, you might've felt like- 1403 01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:01.880 You know, you were a six in Miami, 1404 01:05:01.880 --> 01:05:04.200 but honey, you're in Tulsa. 1405 01:05:04.200 --> 01:05:07.720 You're a 10 in Tulsa, and so you better rock it out. 1406 01:05:07.720 --> 01:05:09.960 Because yeah, everyone's getting plastic surgery 1407 01:05:09.960 --> 01:05:12.520 and Brazilian butts and all the crap in Miami, 1408 01:05:12.520 --> 01:05:14.680 but you live in Tulsa now, okay? 1409 01:05:14.680 --> 01:05:17.880 And so you're still judging yourself by Miami standards. 1410 01:05:17.880 --> 01:05:19.260 And I've been to Miami, y'all, 1411 01:05:19.260 --> 01:05:21.840 and you've never seen such beautiful people in your life, 1412 01:05:21.840 --> 01:05:24.520 and they are all, you know, 1413 01:05:24.520 --> 01:05:27.320 constructed in doctor's offices, okay? 1414 01:05:27.320 --> 01:05:28.880 So it's important for you to remember, 1415 01:05:28.880 --> 01:05:31.480 you're in Tulsa now, you're a Tulsa 10. 1416 01:05:31.480 --> 01:05:34.280 I wanna hear you say it, I'm a Tulsa 10. 1417 01:05:34.280 --> 01:05:35.440 I'm a Tulsa 10. 1418 01:05:35.440 --> 01:05:37.920 Okay, but you have to also remember 1419 01:05:37.920 --> 01:05:40.040 that the same thing you've been judging yourself by, 1420 01:05:40.040 --> 01:05:42.400 now you're judging other people by it. 1421 01:05:42.400 --> 01:05:43.700 You've been, you know, 1422 01:05:43.700 --> 01:05:47.080 you've been in this very judgmental atmosphere of Miami. 1423 01:05:47.080 --> 01:05:49.320 It got India, you judge yourself by it, 1424 01:05:49.320 --> 01:05:50.840 but now you're judging other people by it. 1425 01:05:50.840 --> 01:05:52.920 You gotta give a guy a chance. 1426 01:05:52.920 --> 01:05:57.600 I feel like you could have a date 1427 01:05:57.600 --> 01:05:59.560 with a guy who's a Tulsa 10, 1428 01:05:59.560 --> 01:06:02.720 but maybe a Miami 5 or a 5'6". 1429 01:06:02.720 --> 01:06:03.680 And you just have to, 1430 01:06:03.680 --> 01:06:05.880 and I'm not saying his height is 5'6", 1431 01:06:05.880 --> 01:06:08.720 dear Jesus, there are men that are 5'6", 1432 01:06:08.720 --> 01:06:09.840 and they're good guys. 1433 01:06:09.840 --> 01:06:11.960 And ladies, if you're five feet tall, 1434 01:06:11.960 --> 01:06:15.760 give a brother a chance, give a short king a chance, 1435 01:06:15.760 --> 01:06:17.040 all right? 1436 01:06:17.040 --> 01:06:20.200 But I feel like you getting really clear 1437 01:06:20.200 --> 01:06:23.840 on your non-negotiables and your preferences, 1438 01:06:23.840 --> 01:06:25.960 and knowing that they're different, 1439 01:06:25.960 --> 01:06:29.520 and remembering that you're in a different market right now 1440 01:06:29.520 --> 01:06:32.120 and giving guys a chance and giving yourself a chance 1441 01:06:32.120 --> 01:06:34.480 is gonna be a complete game changer for you. 1442 01:06:36.240 --> 01:06:37.760 All right? 1443 01:06:37.760 --> 01:06:40.400 I can tell that even though you're super casual right now, 1444 01:06:40.400 --> 01:06:41.840 you clean up well. 1445 01:06:41.840 --> 01:06:43.280 I can see you, girl. 1446 01:06:43.280 --> 01:06:45.560 I know that you go out and you're looking good, 1447 01:06:45.560 --> 01:06:48.080 whether you're looking good to your standards or not. 1448 01:06:48.080 --> 01:06:49.120 I'm trying to get across to you 1449 01:06:49.120 --> 01:06:53.440 that your standards are very high for yourself and others, 1450 01:06:53.440 --> 01:06:55.920 and they're unrealistic. 1451 01:06:55.920 --> 01:06:59.200 Yes, well, in Miami, like, before I was, 1452 01:07:00.600 --> 01:07:04.080 people did consider me good-looking 1453 01:07:04.080 --> 01:07:07.080 when I had less weight and stuff. 1454 01:07:07.080 --> 01:07:09.880 I was just not the type. 1455 01:07:09.880 --> 01:07:13.080 Like, I wouldn't wear the short shorts, short dresses. 1456 01:07:13.080 --> 01:07:13.920 I've been there. 1457 01:07:13.920 --> 01:07:15.680 I've been to that place. 1458 01:07:15.680 --> 01:07:19.760 So, those were my limitations there. 1459 01:07:19.760 --> 01:07:24.760 Like, at least I think I wasn't considered a six then. 1460 01:07:26.240 --> 01:07:27.680 But... 1461 01:07:27.680 --> 01:07:29.200 I just mean that the girls there, 1462 01:07:29.200 --> 01:07:32.800 like, I have never seen women in my life 1463 01:07:32.800 --> 01:07:37.800 that look like they are, like, all supermodels. 1464 01:07:40.960 --> 01:07:41.960 Like, I've never... 1465 01:07:41.960 --> 01:07:43.280 I mean, it probably depends 1466 01:07:43.280 --> 01:07:44.680 on what part of the city you're in, 1467 01:07:44.680 --> 01:07:46.200 but I was in the part of the city 1468 01:07:46.200 --> 01:07:49.200 where I think all the women must've been escorts, honestly, 1469 01:07:49.200 --> 01:07:51.920 because they were, like, rocked and gorged. 1470 01:07:51.920 --> 01:07:53.920 That's one of the reasons why I left Brickell. 1471 01:07:53.920 --> 01:07:55.040 I lived in Brickell. 1472 01:07:55.080 --> 01:07:57.120 Oh, yeah, Brickell, exactly. 1473 01:07:57.120 --> 01:08:01.360 It just was taken over by escorts, so it's... 1474 01:08:01.360 --> 01:08:04.520 Yeah, so those are the women that I'm talking about. 1475 01:08:04.520 --> 01:08:06.320 Yeah, no, that's disturbing. 1476 01:08:06.320 --> 01:08:08.400 They look like AI, okay? 1477 01:08:08.400 --> 01:08:10.040 So, it's like, you know, 1478 01:08:10.040 --> 01:08:12.920 real women compared to that are like, you know, whatever. 1479 01:08:12.920 --> 01:08:14.960 But remember, you're in a different market 1480 01:08:14.960 --> 01:08:16.720 that is less superficial, 1481 01:08:16.720 --> 01:08:18.040 and I need you just to get that in your head. 1482 01:08:18.040 --> 01:08:19.080 It's less superficial. 1483 01:08:19.080 --> 01:08:21.080 It's more about what you got inside. 1484 01:08:21.080 --> 01:08:25.000 Your modest values are gonna be highly priced in Tulsa. 1485 01:08:25.840 --> 01:08:27.960 The men there are gonna be more Bible Belt. 1486 01:08:27.960 --> 01:08:29.359 They're gonna be more Christian. 1487 01:08:29.359 --> 01:08:30.680 They're gonna be looking for women 1488 01:08:30.680 --> 01:08:32.080 that are soft and feminine, 1489 01:08:32.080 --> 01:08:34.880 and so you just know that you've gotta lead with that there. 1490 01:08:34.880 --> 01:08:37.560 If you wanna date there, that's what you're gonna do. 1491 01:08:37.560 --> 01:08:39.319 So, I want you to report back to us. 1492 01:08:39.319 --> 01:08:41.479 I wanna get some color on you. 1493 01:08:41.479 --> 01:08:43.600 I want you, if you feel like you need the white strips, 1494 01:08:43.600 --> 01:08:46.200 do that, because if you're self-conscious about that, 1495 01:08:46.200 --> 01:08:48.080 we want you smiling. 1496 01:08:48.080 --> 01:08:52.600 Get some color on and get on, you know, 1497 01:08:52.600 --> 01:08:54.920 change your photos out on the dating apps, 1498 01:08:55.920 --> 01:09:00.920 get some color, dresses, ruffles, cap sleeves, 1499 01:09:02.160 --> 01:09:05.359 you know, feminine, think feminine, okay? 1500 01:09:05.359 --> 01:09:08.200 All right, report back, you're gonna get a date. 1501 01:09:08.200 --> 01:09:10.000 Melanie is gonna have a date. 1502 01:09:10.000 --> 01:09:13.520 She is gonna have a date by June. 1503 01:09:13.520 --> 01:09:15.200 She's gonna have a date, let's go. 1504 01:09:15.200 --> 01:09:17.000 Okay, amen. 1505 01:09:17.000 --> 01:09:19.080 All right, let's go, I love it. 1506 01:09:19.080 --> 01:09:21.960 All right, Marley, is that, is it Marley? 1507 01:09:21.960 --> 01:09:24.439 All right, look at me sounding things out. 1508 01:09:25.359 --> 01:09:27.439 All right, okay, so, 1509 01:09:29.920 --> 01:09:34.720 so for you, you're the star, you're the god, okay? 1510 01:09:34.720 --> 01:09:39.720 Hi, so, I went on a second date with somebody yesterday, 1511 01:09:41.120 --> 01:09:43.399 and it was the first time since last year 1512 01:09:43.399 --> 01:09:45.279 that I went on a second date. 1513 01:09:46.640 --> 01:09:48.640 And what you said made me think earlier 1514 01:09:48.640 --> 01:09:53.040 when you were saying that men are afraid of women 1515 01:09:53.040 --> 01:09:58.320 so yesterday when he did a physical move, 1516 01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.960 It backed away, right? 1517 01:10:02.960 --> 01:10:03.760 And what? 1518 01:10:03.760 --> 01:10:06.440 Wait, wait, what physical move did he do on a second date? 1519 01:10:06.440 --> 01:10:09.640 Wanted to kiss me on the mouth. 1520 01:10:09.640 --> 01:10:11.640 Well, sir. 1521 01:10:11.640 --> 01:10:12.600 Yes, no. 1522 01:10:12.600 --> 01:10:15.560 And what, and what, it was at the end of the date? 1523 01:10:15.560 --> 01:10:17.000 Yes, it was at the end of the date. 1524 01:10:17.000 --> 01:10:19.120 So at the end of the date, he went in for the kiss 1525 01:10:19.120 --> 01:10:21.280 on the mouth, and then what happened? 1526 01:10:21.280 --> 01:10:23.920 And then I turned like this. 1527 01:10:23.920 --> 01:10:24.720 And he said, oh. 1528 01:10:25.360 --> 01:10:30.400 And I said, I'm, and a bit like Tamika, 1529 01:10:30.400 --> 01:10:33.200 in certain situations, I freeze and I don't know what to say. 1530 01:10:33.200 --> 01:10:38.560 So I just said, I'm very slow when it comes to these things. 1531 01:10:38.560 --> 01:10:41.440 So, OK. 1532 01:10:41.440 --> 01:10:49.280 So I just, one, now your reaction is making me think 1533 01:10:49.280 --> 01:10:51.760 I was right to do that, but I didn't 1534 01:10:51.880 --> 01:10:56.960 I was right to do that, but I didn't know how to frame it. 1535 01:10:56.960 --> 01:10:58.480 You said exactly the right thing. 1536 01:10:58.480 --> 01:11:00.360 What did he say after you said it? 1537 01:11:00.360 --> 01:11:03.600 Well, he asked, really? 1538 01:11:03.600 --> 01:11:04.480 I said, yes, really? 1539 01:11:04.480 --> 01:11:05.560 And he tried again. 1540 01:11:05.560 --> 01:11:07.400 And I said, I'm serious. 1541 01:11:07.400 --> 01:11:08.200 And. 1542 01:11:08.200 --> 01:11:09.440 Wait, wait, wait. 1543 01:11:09.440 --> 01:11:10.680 He tried again? 1544 01:11:10.680 --> 01:11:11.720 Yes, he did. 1545 01:11:11.720 --> 01:11:12.720 He did. 1546 01:11:12.720 --> 01:11:15.440 All right, so there's no third date. 1547 01:11:15.440 --> 01:11:16.480 Right? 1548 01:11:16.480 --> 01:11:20.400 Well, there's none planned. 1549 01:11:20.400 --> 01:11:23.960 Did he ask you after you guys were home and done? 1550 01:11:23.960 --> 01:11:25.040 Because this was yesterday. 1551 01:11:25.040 --> 01:11:26.040 Have you heard from him? 1552 01:11:26.040 --> 01:11:28.160 Is he trying to go on a third date? 1553 01:11:28.160 --> 01:11:31.200 He has, no, he has not asked. 1554 01:11:31.200 --> 01:11:33.720 I didn't mention anything. 1555 01:11:33.720 --> 01:11:39.760 It was, and this was at the end of a three hour date 1556 01:11:39.760 --> 01:11:43.360 because we went for dinner and then we went for a walk for. 1557 01:11:43.360 --> 01:11:47.960 So it ended up being three hours. 1558 01:11:47.960 --> 01:11:49.640 And it was at the end of the three hours 1559 01:11:49.640 --> 01:11:50.720 that he behaved like this. 1560 01:11:50.720 --> 01:11:55.960 But he sent some videos of a dance 1561 01:11:55.960 --> 01:11:59.400 that we talked about just to show me what it was that. 1562 01:11:59.400 --> 01:12:00.280 But that was the. 1563 01:12:00.280 --> 01:12:03.480 And he sent me a message this morning to say good morning. 1564 01:12:03.480 --> 01:12:04.120 OK. 1565 01:12:04.120 --> 01:12:05.320 Yeah. 1566 01:12:05.320 --> 01:12:05.840 And that. 1567 01:12:05.840 --> 01:12:08.320 All right, well, you sat down a boundary. 1568 01:12:08.320 --> 01:12:11.560 What I don't like is that you set the boundary down 1569 01:12:11.560 --> 01:12:14.440 and he didn't believe you. 1570 01:12:14.440 --> 01:12:18.200 So like you pulled away and you said, hey, hey, you know, 1571 01:12:19.000 --> 01:12:21.760 I'm not like I'm not looking to do this right now. 1572 01:12:21.760 --> 01:12:22.880 I move slow here. 1573 01:12:22.880 --> 01:12:24.200 And he said, really? 1574 01:12:24.200 --> 01:12:25.200 And tried again. 1575 01:12:25.200 --> 01:12:27.600 And then what'd you say after the second attempt? 1576 01:12:27.600 --> 01:12:29.160 I said, I'm serious. 1577 01:12:29.160 --> 01:12:30.680 OK, and then what'd he say? 1578 01:12:30.680 --> 01:12:31.760 He said, OK. 1579 01:12:31.760 --> 01:12:32.640 OK. 1580 01:12:32.640 --> 01:12:33.920 All right, well, you know. 1581 01:12:36.880 --> 01:12:40.920 There's definitely a yellow flag, OK? 1582 01:12:40.920 --> 01:12:41.760 We'll have to see. 1583 01:12:41.760 --> 01:12:44.200 The fact that he actually is still talking to you 1584 01:12:44.200 --> 01:12:49.560 and sending you videos and saying good morning. 1585 01:12:49.560 --> 01:12:51.080 We'll see. 1586 01:12:51.080 --> 01:12:52.440 We'll see what happens with that. 1587 01:12:52.440 --> 01:12:58.640 But you need to make sure that you are on your A game with him 1588 01:12:58.640 --> 01:13:02.800 because he did push a boundary. 1589 01:13:02.800 --> 01:13:03.840 And I don't like that. 1590 01:13:03.840 --> 01:13:05.080 That's a yellow flag. 1591 01:13:05.080 --> 01:13:07.480 But if he was only after one thing, 1592 01:13:07.480 --> 01:13:09.680 you would have never heard from him again. 1593 01:13:09.680 --> 01:13:10.240 Right. 1594 01:13:10.240 --> 01:13:12.440 And when we were walking. 1595 01:13:12.440 --> 01:13:15.000 So eventually, he put his hand on my shoulder. 1596 01:13:15.000 --> 01:13:17.440 And I was OK with that. 1597 01:13:17.440 --> 01:13:19.520 On my shoulder was fine. 1598 01:13:19.520 --> 01:13:21.680 Wait, wait, was this after the kiss attempt? 1599 01:13:21.680 --> 01:13:22.560 No, no, no, no. 1600 01:13:22.560 --> 01:13:23.640 During the walk. 1601 01:13:23.640 --> 01:13:25.000 OK, OK, go ahead. 1602 01:13:25.000 --> 01:13:28.680 After the kiss, the two kiss attempts, there was nothing. 1603 01:13:28.680 --> 01:13:29.640 Yeah. 1604 01:13:29.640 --> 01:13:31.080 And I was OK with that. 1605 01:13:31.080 --> 01:13:33.760 And I did not come closer either. 1606 01:13:33.760 --> 01:13:38.440 So he realized that he could just lift up his hand 1607 01:13:38.440 --> 01:13:39.880 and it would be fine as well. 1608 01:13:39.880 --> 01:13:40.640 He's fishing. 1609 01:13:40.640 --> 01:13:43.520 He's just seeing what you're willing to do. 1610 01:13:43.520 --> 01:13:44.320 Yeah, yeah. 1611 01:13:44.320 --> 01:13:46.120 And ladies, before, listen, I want 1612 01:13:46.120 --> 01:13:47.480 to talk about this for a second. 1613 01:13:47.480 --> 01:13:48.840 This is an important thing. 1614 01:13:48.840 --> 01:13:51.080 This doesn't make, OK, he pushed a boundary. 1615 01:13:51.080 --> 01:13:51.880 We don't like that. 1616 01:13:51.880 --> 01:13:52.800 It's a yellow flag. 1617 01:13:52.800 --> 01:13:54.640 He is still communicating, which means 1618 01:13:54.640 --> 01:13:57.080 that he may think that this is what he's 1619 01:13:57.080 --> 01:13:59.520 supposed to do on dates, whatever, whatever. 1620 01:13:59.520 --> 01:14:01.680 And we're going to go ahead and see where this leads, 1621 01:14:01.680 --> 01:14:03.680 if she likes him in other ways, if she 1622 01:14:03.680 --> 01:14:06.480 thinks that there's enough good stuff about him 1623 01:14:06.480 --> 01:14:08.600 to give him another chance in this area. 1624 01:14:08.640 --> 01:14:10.760 But I just want to tell you that a lot of men, 1625 01:14:10.760 --> 01:14:15.440 especially older men, not younger men, older men, 1626 01:14:15.440 --> 01:14:19.440 older men have a tendency to be taking plays 1627 01:14:19.440 --> 01:14:23.080 from a very bygone playbook from generations past. 1628 01:14:23.080 --> 01:14:26.760 And generations past, we see it kind of as a pruder generation, 1629 01:14:26.760 --> 01:14:27.920 but it's not true. 1630 01:14:27.920 --> 01:14:31.360 People, when men say that physical touch is their love 1631 01:14:31.360 --> 01:14:33.800 language, if a guy likes you, they're 1632 01:14:33.800 --> 01:14:35.080 going to want to hold your hand. 1633 01:14:35.080 --> 01:14:36.600 They're going to want to put their arm around you. 1634 01:14:36.600 --> 01:14:38.280 They're going to want to kiss you. 1635 01:14:38.280 --> 01:14:40.920 Older men, especially, been there, done that, 1636 01:14:40.920 --> 01:14:43.400 they're going to see it as, we're not kids. 1637 01:14:43.400 --> 01:14:46.600 What's the big deal? 1638 01:14:46.600 --> 01:14:48.960 Why should it take so long? 1639 01:14:48.960 --> 01:14:51.720 We're not little kids. 1640 01:14:51.720 --> 01:14:57.760 And so that could be his mindset of just, I like this woman. 1641 01:14:57.760 --> 01:15:01.000 And the way that you show women that you like them. 1642 01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:01.320 is by physical touch. 1643 01:15:01.320 --> 01:15:03.600 That could be what he's thinking. 1644 01:15:03.600 --> 01:15:04.480 Okay? 1645 01:15:04.480 --> 01:15:05.320 Yeah. 1646 01:15:05.320 --> 01:15:08.480 So my question, then I realized I didn't ask it, 1647 01:15:08.480 --> 01:15:12.720 saying that I take things slow is more than enough, right? 1648 01:15:12.720 --> 01:15:15.640 I didn't have to give more explanation. 1649 01:15:15.640 --> 01:15:17.080 It is more than enough, 1650 01:15:17.080 --> 01:15:18.720 but if you go on another date with him 1651 01:15:18.720 --> 01:15:20.440 and he tries to get physical at all, 1652 01:15:20.440 --> 01:15:22.640 like tries to hold your hand or anything, 1653 01:15:22.640 --> 01:15:24.440 you're unfortunately gonna have to have 1654 01:15:24.440 --> 01:15:25.560 the sex talk with him. 1655 01:15:25.560 --> 01:15:29.200 We don't wanna have the sex talk this quickly, 1656 01:15:29.240 --> 01:15:30.960 but this forces us to have it. 1657 01:15:30.960 --> 01:15:32.320 And this is what it sounds like. 1658 01:15:32.320 --> 01:15:34.680 Hey, I can tell that physical touch 1659 01:15:34.680 --> 01:15:35.960 is a love language of yours. 1660 01:15:35.960 --> 01:15:38.040 You can say this verbatim. 1661 01:15:38.040 --> 01:15:40.560 And I like physical touch as well, 1662 01:15:40.560 --> 01:15:44.120 but I just wanna let you know that as a woman of God, 1663 01:15:44.120 --> 01:15:48.400 I am not going to be having sex until I'm married 1664 01:15:48.400 --> 01:15:51.360 or anything close to that, you know? 1665 01:15:51.360 --> 01:15:54.880 And I don't plan on being physical, 1666 01:15:54.880 --> 01:15:57.560 like even kissing or any of this, 1667 01:15:57.560 --> 01:15:59.080 unless I'm with someone 1668 01:15:59.080 --> 01:16:01.200 that I'm in a serious relationship with. 1669 01:16:01.200 --> 01:16:04.760 So he's gonna force you into that declaration. 1670 01:16:04.760 --> 01:16:06.680 And then you're either never gonna hear from him again, 1671 01:16:06.680 --> 01:16:08.200 or he's gonna know what the boundary is 1672 01:16:08.200 --> 01:16:10.440 and he's gonna like you enough to hold it. 1673 01:16:12.440 --> 01:16:14.480 Okay, thank you. 1674 01:16:14.480 --> 01:16:16.000 Ladies, this is what has to happen. 1675 01:16:16.000 --> 01:16:17.800 We don't have the sex conversation 1676 01:16:17.800 --> 01:16:20.320 until someone introduces physical contact 1677 01:16:20.320 --> 01:16:22.160 that is beyond our comfort zone. 1678 01:16:22.160 --> 01:16:24.600 And when someone tries to introduce physical contact 1679 01:16:24.600 --> 01:16:26.600 that's beyond our comfort zone, 1680 01:16:26.640 --> 01:16:27.880 then we gotta tell him. 1681 01:16:27.880 --> 01:16:29.840 I remember I liked this guy 1682 01:16:29.840 --> 01:16:32.720 and we were really flirty and all the things. 1683 01:16:32.720 --> 01:16:35.440 And then one day he like grabbed my butt. 1684 01:16:36.480 --> 01:16:37.920 Grabbed my butt, okay? 1685 01:16:37.920 --> 01:16:39.800 Like I had known him for a while 1686 01:16:39.800 --> 01:16:42.160 and we had never held hands or kissed or anything, 1687 01:16:42.160 --> 01:16:44.680 but he grabbed my butt, like grabbed it. 1688 01:16:44.680 --> 01:16:46.920 And I was like, whoa. 1689 01:16:48.120 --> 01:16:51.400 I was like, look, I don't like that. 1690 01:16:51.400 --> 01:16:54.400 Don't ever do that again. 1691 01:16:54.400 --> 01:16:55.680 And he didn't. 1692 01:16:55.680 --> 01:16:57.920 Now, we also didn't end up in a relationship. 1693 01:16:57.920 --> 01:17:00.280 We didn't break it off right then. 1694 01:17:00.280 --> 01:17:02.440 We had more relationship and growing 1695 01:17:02.440 --> 01:17:03.720 and then there were other deal breakers 1696 01:17:03.720 --> 01:17:04.960 and different things that happened. 1697 01:17:04.960 --> 01:17:07.560 And I was never physically involved with him. 1698 01:17:07.560 --> 01:17:09.240 I never kissed him or anything. 1699 01:17:09.240 --> 01:17:12.000 But if a guy does anything 1700 01:17:12.000 --> 01:17:16.240 that is outside of your comfort zone physically, 1701 01:17:16.240 --> 01:17:18.520 it forces you to have this conversation. 1702 01:17:19.960 --> 01:17:22.280 And yeah, it's an uncomfortable conversation, 1703 01:17:22.280 --> 01:17:23.520 but it is necessary. 1704 01:17:24.240 --> 01:17:25.080 All right. 1705 01:17:25.080 --> 01:17:26.000 Good job, Marley. 1706 01:17:26.000 --> 01:17:26.840 Thank you. 1707 01:17:26.840 --> 01:17:27.680 Keep us posted. 1708 01:17:29.480 --> 01:17:30.320 Rosanna. 1709 01:17:32.400 --> 01:17:33.440 Hi there. 1710 01:17:33.440 --> 01:17:34.280 Hi. 1711 01:17:34.280 --> 01:17:35.240 I have a couple of things. 1712 01:17:35.240 --> 01:17:37.520 I have a high school reunion that's coming up this Sunday 1713 01:17:37.520 --> 01:17:38.840 and I'm super excited. 1714 01:17:38.840 --> 01:17:41.120 And I have two outfits that I think I want to show 1715 01:17:41.120 --> 01:17:43.880 because one's a little bit more form, 25. 1716 01:17:43.880 --> 01:17:45.040 Woo, come on. 1717 01:17:45.040 --> 01:17:47.000 Yeah, I've had a couple of guys from high school 1718 01:17:47.000 --> 01:17:48.480 telling me that they've had crushes on me 1719 01:17:48.480 --> 01:17:50.640 and I'm like, that's great. 1720 01:17:50.640 --> 01:17:52.280 So I'm like, let's see what happens. 1721 01:17:52.280 --> 01:17:53.480 And a couple that I actually, 1722 01:17:53.480 --> 01:17:55.200 like one I went out on a couple of dates with 1723 01:17:55.200 --> 01:17:57.600 and then didn't talk to me for like a month. 1724 01:17:57.600 --> 01:17:59.680 And then he popped up on my Facebook dating. 1725 01:17:59.680 --> 01:18:00.520 I'm like, oh, that's funny. 1726 01:18:00.520 --> 01:18:02.160 You said you were interested, but not quite. 1727 01:18:02.160 --> 01:18:03.000 Whatever. 1728 01:18:03.000 --> 01:18:04.480 So I kind of hope he comes. 1729 01:18:04.480 --> 01:18:06.000 They'll be like, hi, sorry. 1730 01:18:06.880 --> 01:18:07.720 It'll just be fun. 1731 01:18:07.720 --> 01:18:10.920 However, my question actually is, 1732 01:18:10.920 --> 01:18:13.240 I've grown so much with your program 1733 01:18:13.240 --> 01:18:15.880 and I think Nina said the same thing. 1734 01:18:15.880 --> 01:18:18.240 I'm getting impatient to like want to go on dates 1735 01:18:18.240 --> 01:18:19.960 and like sometimes they happen. 1736 01:18:19.960 --> 01:18:21.480 I haven't been on one in a while 1737 01:18:21.480 --> 01:18:23.800 and several of them have not happened, 1738 01:18:23.800 --> 01:18:25.560 have not gone to a second date. 1739 01:18:25.560 --> 01:18:27.080 And I don't know if it's like, 1740 01:18:27.080 --> 01:18:28.600 I think when I was watching one of your things, 1741 01:18:28.600 --> 01:18:31.200 like I feel like I'm the fun one in the date 1742 01:18:31.200 --> 01:18:33.320 or am I bored with these men 1743 01:18:33.320 --> 01:18:36.440 or why is it more coming from it? 1744 01:18:36.440 --> 01:18:39.760 And I feel like I've seen the growth happen in me, Jackie, 1745 01:18:39.760 --> 01:18:41.360 because of this program. 1746 01:18:41.360 --> 01:18:44.280 And I'm wondering, I'm like, I'm so excited to date. 1747 01:18:44.280 --> 01:18:47.520 And then I'm like wondering where these guys are. 1748 01:18:47.520 --> 01:18:48.880 And I am talking to some guy 1749 01:18:48.880 --> 01:18:50.360 who's like an hour and a half away, 1750 01:18:50.360 --> 01:18:52.200 but he's got in car issues and he's working a lot. 1751 01:18:52.200 --> 01:18:53.760 He just had to let go of his business. 1752 01:18:53.760 --> 01:18:55.800 So there's a lot of financial stuff going on 1753 01:18:55.800 --> 01:18:57.560 and we're talking on the phone and stuff, 1754 01:18:57.560 --> 01:18:59.080 but it's been like two weeks. 1755 01:18:59.080 --> 01:19:00.520 And so we haven't met up yet, 1756 01:19:00.520 --> 01:19:02.800 but I'm like, I don't want to hold out on that 1757 01:19:02.800 --> 01:19:04.160 just because like, yeah, we're connecting, 1758 01:19:04.160 --> 01:19:06.200 but I would really like to go on dates. 1759 01:19:06.200 --> 01:19:08.920 So I know it's fine for me to want to talk to other guys. 1760 01:19:08.920 --> 01:19:09.920 You're not going to be exclusive 1761 01:19:09.920 --> 01:19:11.240 to someone you're not exclusive with. 1762 01:19:11.240 --> 01:19:12.840 Yeah, keep dating, keep going on dates. 1763 01:19:12.840 --> 01:19:14.720 If you want to show us your outfit options, 1764 01:19:14.720 --> 01:19:16.280 we can help you choose, 1765 01:19:16.280 --> 01:19:19.600 but for your class reunion, 1766 01:19:19.640 --> 01:19:22.120 but let's talk about this for a second. 1767 01:19:22.120 --> 01:19:22.960 Ladies, you know, 1768 01:19:22.960 --> 01:19:25.600 we've had a lot of success stories in this program 1769 01:19:25.600 --> 01:19:27.080 and some of them are male clients. 1770 01:19:27.080 --> 01:19:28.280 Some of them are guys, you know, 1771 01:19:28.280 --> 01:19:31.680 almost our guys almost have a hundred percent success rate. 1772 01:19:32.760 --> 01:19:34.600 I want you guys to get ahold of this. 1773 01:19:34.600 --> 01:19:35.800 Now we do have some guys 1774 01:19:35.800 --> 01:19:37.280 that have been lingering here for a while, 1775 01:19:37.280 --> 01:19:39.800 but all of the guys that started in this program in 2020, 1776 01:19:39.800 --> 01:19:41.280 they're all married. 1777 01:19:41.280 --> 01:19:42.400 2021, all married. 1778 01:19:42.400 --> 01:19:43.440 2022, all married. 1779 01:19:43.440 --> 01:19:44.600 23, all married. 1780 01:19:44.600 --> 01:19:45.720 24, all married. 1781 01:19:45.720 --> 01:19:47.360 25, all married, okay. 1782 01:19:47.360 --> 01:19:50.240 Or 25, there's some leftover from that. 1783 01:19:50.240 --> 01:19:51.560 But I just want to say to you, 1784 01:19:51.560 --> 01:19:55.400 it's because, it's not because it's a buyer's market, 1785 01:19:55.400 --> 01:19:56.640 okay, with the guy, you know, 1786 01:19:56.640 --> 01:19:59.040 the guys they can go out and get whatever or whatever, 1787 01:19:59.040 --> 01:19:59.880 you know. 1788 01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.480 It's because they are, you know, not just serious, 1789 01:20:04.480 --> 01:20:07.520 but they also are looking for, 1790 01:20:08.840 --> 01:20:10.920 and none of them married supermodels. 1791 01:20:12.000 --> 01:20:14.980 They're looking for how someone makes them feel. 1792 01:20:14.980 --> 01:20:16.200 That is what men are looking for, 1793 01:20:16.200 --> 01:20:17.680 how someone makes them feel. 1794 01:20:17.680 --> 01:20:20.120 And I really want you to adopt that 1795 01:20:20.120 --> 01:20:23.360 because ladies, so many of you, all of the ladies, 1796 01:20:23.360 --> 01:20:28.320 and of course we've had many more female-led success stories 1797 01:20:28.320 --> 01:20:30.960 meaning the female was part of this community 1798 01:20:30.960 --> 01:20:34.000 because there's just more of you in general. 1799 01:20:34.000 --> 01:20:36.560 But I want you to look at them. 1800 01:20:36.560 --> 01:20:37.800 I want you to look at the people. 1801 01:20:37.800 --> 01:20:42.200 Go on my Instagram and go through the highlights 1802 01:20:42.200 --> 01:20:43.520 and look at all the couples, 1803 01:20:43.520 --> 01:20:45.080 all the people that got married. 1804 01:20:45.080 --> 01:20:48.720 Yes, every once in a while there's a hottie, like the men. 1805 01:20:48.720 --> 01:20:50.300 Okay, every once in a while there's a guy 1806 01:20:50.300 --> 01:20:52.840 that's conventionally good-looking. 1807 01:20:52.840 --> 01:20:54.480 Let's say conventionally good-looking. 1808 01:20:54.480 --> 01:20:57.920 He's showing up with bone structure and vibes, cool. 1809 01:20:57.920 --> 01:21:01.560 Every single time you see that, 1810 01:21:01.560 --> 01:21:04.060 there's at least 40 other men 1811 01:21:04.060 --> 01:21:07.480 that you probably swipe past on the app, all right? 1812 01:21:07.480 --> 01:21:10.560 Because they're not photogenic or whatever. 1813 01:21:10.560 --> 01:21:14.080 But some woman in this community married them 1814 01:21:14.080 --> 01:21:16.020 because they're a great guy. 1815 01:21:16.020 --> 01:21:18.540 No one's married to a scrub in this community, all right? 1816 01:21:18.540 --> 01:21:21.000 They're great men, they're good men, they're smart men, 1817 01:21:21.000 --> 01:21:24.040 they're funny men, they're successful men. 1818 01:21:24.040 --> 01:21:25.060 And I really want you, 1819 01:21:25.060 --> 01:21:27.080 I'm not asking you to lower your standards, 1820 01:21:27.080 --> 01:21:29.040 but I am asking you to get realistic 1821 01:21:29.040 --> 01:21:32.240 with your expectations, okay? 1822 01:21:32.240 --> 01:21:35.040 I am asking you to get realistic with your expectations. 1823 01:21:35.040 --> 01:21:38.100 Some of you are being single longer than you need to be 1824 01:21:38.100 --> 01:21:41.200 because your expectations are unrealistic. 1825 01:21:41.200 --> 01:21:43.320 They just are, and I'm just being honest with you. 1826 01:21:43.320 --> 01:21:46.320 I love you, I wanna see you happily partnered, 1827 01:21:46.320 --> 01:21:49.340 and happily partnered doesn't have anything to do 1828 01:21:49.340 --> 01:21:51.200 with the stuff that you're basing it on. 1829 01:21:51.200 --> 01:21:54.160 It has to do with how someone makes you feel. 1830 01:21:54.160 --> 01:21:55.920 It has to do with the person that you become 1831 01:21:55.920 --> 01:21:56.800 when you're with them. 1832 01:21:57.520 --> 01:21:58.880 Do you become a better version of yourself? 1833 01:21:58.880 --> 01:22:01.120 Are they bringing out the best in you? 1834 01:22:01.120 --> 01:22:02.400 Are you having fun together? 1835 01:22:02.400 --> 01:22:03.360 Can you dream together? 1836 01:22:03.360 --> 01:22:06.080 I just did a one-on-one Simbus for one of our ladies 1837 01:22:06.080 --> 01:22:09.400 who's about to get married on May 22nd. 1838 01:22:09.400 --> 01:22:13.220 And her husband's older than her. 1839 01:22:13.220 --> 01:22:15.160 She's in her 50s, he's in his 60s. 1840 01:22:15.160 --> 01:22:17.240 And he looks like he's in his 60s. 1841 01:22:17.240 --> 01:22:18.320 He's funny. 1842 01:22:18.320 --> 01:22:20.640 The guy cracked me up the entire time 1843 01:22:20.640 --> 01:22:21.680 we were doing the Simbus. 1844 01:22:21.680 --> 01:22:25.840 He's smart, he's kind, he's entrepreneurial. 1845 01:22:25.840 --> 01:22:27.640 He's got so many great qualities. 1846 01:22:27.640 --> 01:22:29.760 He also doesn't have any hair. 1847 01:22:29.760 --> 01:22:32.280 Not a hair on his head, all right? 1848 01:22:32.280 --> 01:22:33.880 None, okay? 1849 01:22:33.880 --> 01:22:37.280 He also is, because some of you have told me, 1850 01:22:37.280 --> 01:22:38.900 you know, no bald men. 1851 01:22:38.900 --> 01:22:39.740 Why? 1852 01:22:40.600 --> 01:22:41.520 Why? 1853 01:22:41.520 --> 01:22:43.440 Because of your ego? 1854 01:22:43.440 --> 01:22:45.080 Seriously, I'm just being honest with you. 1855 01:22:45.080 --> 01:22:46.860 I want you guys to have success. 1856 01:22:47.860 --> 01:22:50.440 Some of you have shocked me. 1857 01:22:50.440 --> 01:22:52.760 You shocked me with your preference list 1858 01:22:52.760 --> 01:22:55.360 because you are none of the things on your preference list 1859 01:22:55.880 --> 01:22:57.480 and I'm shocked by it. 1860 01:22:57.480 --> 01:23:00.600 I'm like, is this girl DeLulu? 1861 01:23:00.600 --> 01:23:01.640 What's going on with her? 1862 01:23:01.640 --> 01:23:05.320 I love her, but has she lost her ever-loving mind? 1863 01:23:05.320 --> 01:23:06.960 What is happening here? 1864 01:23:06.960 --> 01:23:11.680 Okay, so stop reading the romance books, okay? 1865 01:23:11.680 --> 01:23:14.960 Stop watching the rom-coms if you can't handle it. 1866 01:23:14.960 --> 01:23:16.960 Stop scrolling on Instagram. 1867 01:23:16.960 --> 01:23:20.680 Do whatever it takes for you to get back into reality. 1868 01:23:20.680 --> 01:23:23.360 Because we have a lot of success stories here 1869 01:23:23.360 --> 01:23:25.400 and what you're looking for is a good man. 1870 01:23:25.400 --> 01:23:26.920 You're looking for a masculine man. 1871 01:23:26.920 --> 01:23:28.280 You're looking for a mature man. 1872 01:23:28.280 --> 01:23:29.760 You're looking for a marriage-minded man. 1873 01:23:29.760 --> 01:23:31.480 You're looking for a man, if you're over 40, 1874 01:23:31.480 --> 01:23:33.400 that's got his stuff together, 1875 01:23:33.400 --> 01:23:35.140 that knows what he wants in life, 1876 01:23:35.140 --> 01:23:36.840 that's headed in that direction, 1877 01:23:36.840 --> 01:23:39.040 that brings out the good parts of you. 1878 01:23:39.040 --> 01:23:41.640 Yeah, solo mio, thank you. 1879 01:23:41.640 --> 01:23:44.360 Kevin James is not good-looking, okay? 1880 01:23:44.360 --> 01:23:47.600 Not in anybody's book, but he was fun and he was funny 1881 01:23:47.600 --> 01:23:49.440 and he's really funny and he was cute 1882 01:23:49.440 --> 01:23:52.000 and endearing in that movie and he scored a hottie. 1883 01:23:52.000 --> 01:23:54.680 I think that that lady he ended up with was like, 1884 01:23:54.680 --> 01:23:58.320 in my opinion, an Italian hottie. 1885 01:23:58.320 --> 01:24:02.480 An older woman, but a very well-preserved woman, okay? 1886 01:24:02.480 --> 01:24:04.440 So, I'm not saying this for Rosanna, by the way. 1887 01:24:04.440 --> 01:24:05.920 I'm selling it for all of you 1888 01:24:05.920 --> 01:24:09.680 because your lists are ridiculous. 1889 01:24:09.680 --> 01:24:10.960 I'm just gonna call you out. 1890 01:24:10.960 --> 01:24:11.800 They really are. 1891 01:24:11.800 --> 01:24:13.080 Okay, Rosanna, go ahead. 1892 01:24:14.920 --> 01:24:17.720 Thank you, I just, no, I just wanna know, 1893 01:24:17.720 --> 01:24:19.560 I'm super excited with what you've taught me 1894 01:24:19.560 --> 01:24:21.320 and I wanna put it into practical 1895 01:24:22.000 --> 01:24:23.840 and I'm looking beyond what you're saying 1896 01:24:23.840 --> 01:24:26.080 with certain financial setbacks that happened 1897 01:24:26.080 --> 01:24:28.280 or I'm open to bald guys 1898 01:24:28.280 --> 01:24:30.160 and I'm even looking at shorter guys. 1899 01:24:30.160 --> 01:24:33.240 It's fine, I'm really listening to what you're saying 1900 01:24:33.240 --> 01:24:35.400 and I just don't know, sometimes, 1901 01:24:35.400 --> 01:24:37.560 even in the first conversations with certain types, 1902 01:24:37.560 --> 01:24:40.440 with guys, the conversations aren't good. 1903 01:24:40.440 --> 01:24:43.000 There's nothing that develops and I don't wanna carry it. 1904 01:24:43.000 --> 01:24:46.480 I'm almost like an investigative reporter. 1905 01:24:46.480 --> 01:24:48.240 I love to ask questions of people 1906 01:24:48.240 --> 01:24:49.680 and is it wrong for me to wish 1907 01:24:49.680 --> 01:24:51.320 that somebody would inquire about me 1908 01:24:51.320 --> 01:24:52.160 the way I inquire about them? 1909 01:24:52.160 --> 01:24:54.200 I mean, yeah, it kind of is 1910 01:24:54.200 --> 01:24:56.960 because here's the thing, you guys. 1911 01:24:56.960 --> 01:24:59.160 First of all, men weren't taught, 1912 01:24:59.160 --> 01:25:00.200 I know this whole. 1913 01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.500 dating thing that we've going on of like, 1914 01:25:02.500 --> 01:25:04.220 why doesn't he ask me any questions? 1915 01:25:04.220 --> 01:25:05.720 And women say that all the time. 1916 01:25:05.720 --> 01:25:08.040 Men aren't taught to do that. 1917 01:25:08.040 --> 01:25:10.360 Women do it because we're nosy. 1918 01:25:10.360 --> 01:25:11.960 We do it because we want to know. 1919 01:25:11.960 --> 01:25:13.480 She just said, she's a PI. 1920 01:25:13.480 --> 01:25:14.880 She's a private investigator. 1921 01:25:14.880 --> 01:25:15.720 We want to know. 1922 01:25:15.720 --> 01:25:16.880 And you know, when we ask questions, 1923 01:25:16.880 --> 01:25:17.860 it makes us feel safe. 1924 01:25:17.860 --> 01:25:19.120 It brings security. 1925 01:25:19.120 --> 01:25:21.760 Women value security. 1926 01:25:21.760 --> 01:25:23.360 Okay, men value peace. 1927 01:25:23.360 --> 01:25:24.360 Men aren't rocking the boat. 1928 01:25:24.360 --> 01:25:26.680 Men aren't going to ask you 101 questions about yourself. 1929 01:25:26.680 --> 01:25:28.200 That used to be called rude. 1930 01:25:29.160 --> 01:25:30.200 It's called rude. 1931 01:25:30.200 --> 01:25:32.040 You know, men aren't going to be digging around 1932 01:25:32.040 --> 01:25:34.840 trying to find out, you know, what your favorite color is 1933 01:25:34.840 --> 01:25:37.440 or what you felt like deep inside your heart 1934 01:25:37.440 --> 01:25:38.800 when your dog died. 1935 01:25:38.800 --> 01:25:41.120 That's not, that's female stuff, okay? 1936 01:25:41.120 --> 01:25:43.040 And so I just want to tell you guys 1937 01:25:43.040 --> 01:25:45.040 that just have a good time. 1938 01:25:45.040 --> 01:25:47.640 This is why I don't like sit across from each other 1939 01:25:47.640 --> 01:25:49.440 and ask question dates. 1940 01:25:49.440 --> 01:25:52.340 Go do something that shows personality. 1941 01:25:52.340 --> 01:25:53.180 Go do something. 1942 01:25:53.180 --> 01:25:54.000 Go putt-putt. 1943 01:25:54.000 --> 01:25:55.360 Go putt-putt golf. 1944 01:25:55.360 --> 01:25:57.560 If you want to see if a man has anger issues, 1945 01:25:57.560 --> 01:25:59.160 go to the putt-putt course with him. 1946 01:25:59.160 --> 01:26:01.160 You're going to see it real quick 1947 01:26:01.160 --> 01:26:02.760 when his ball doesn't go in the hole 1948 01:26:02.760 --> 01:26:05.320 and he starts having a conniption fit about it. 1949 01:26:05.320 --> 01:26:08.480 Do something fun on the first date. 1950 01:26:08.480 --> 01:26:10.720 First date, do something fun. 1951 01:26:10.720 --> 01:26:15.080 Low stakes, low price, fun, personality. 1952 01:26:15.080 --> 01:26:18.280 It's going to bring out a natural conversation. 1953 01:26:18.280 --> 01:26:20.120 See if, does the conversation flow? 1954 01:26:20.120 --> 01:26:22.040 Is it like pulling teeth? 1955 01:26:22.040 --> 01:26:24.840 If you're someone who values conversation 1956 01:26:24.840 --> 01:26:26.840 and you want to be married to someone 1957 01:26:26.840 --> 01:26:28.480 that you can lay around in bed with 1958 01:26:28.480 --> 01:26:31.040 and talk about everything that you've ever thought 1959 01:26:31.040 --> 01:26:32.920 in your entire existence, 1960 01:26:32.920 --> 01:26:36.200 then you need to make sure that you marry a sapiosexual. 1961 01:26:36.200 --> 01:26:40.960 That is someone who values intellectual conversation, 1962 01:26:40.960 --> 01:26:42.840 values what you think about things 1963 01:26:42.840 --> 01:26:44.400 and your opinions about things 1964 01:26:44.400 --> 01:26:47.760 and likes to talk about the deepness of things. 1965 01:26:47.760 --> 01:26:48.640 Those are people. 1966 01:26:48.640 --> 01:26:50.640 And there's a lot of men that are sapiosexuals, 1967 01:26:50.640 --> 01:26:52.960 but that needs to be on your non-negotiable list. 1968 01:26:52.960 --> 01:26:54.180 That's not a preference. 1969 01:26:54.180 --> 01:26:57.260 That's a necessity if you're that kind of person. 1970 01:26:57.260 --> 01:26:58.300 It's a necessity. 1971 01:26:58.300 --> 01:27:00.700 And so here's the thing, Rosanna, 1972 01:27:00.700 --> 01:27:02.740 if you get into a situation with a man 1973 01:27:02.740 --> 01:27:06.020 who's as deep as a puddle on the street, 1974 01:27:06.020 --> 01:27:08.740 then you know that he's not your person. 1975 01:27:08.740 --> 01:27:11.020 Okay, he can have a full head of hair. 1976 01:27:11.020 --> 01:27:13.580 All right, he can have cute little facial hair. 1977 01:27:13.580 --> 01:27:15.100 He can be whatever it is 1978 01:27:15.100 --> 01:27:17.100 that you think that you're attracted to. 1979 01:27:17.100 --> 01:27:21.340 But if he's dumb as a box of rocks, he's not your guy. 1980 01:27:21.340 --> 01:27:23.940 Right, if he doesn't have a thought in his head, 1981 01:27:24.700 --> 01:27:25.860 doesn't think deeply about things, 1982 01:27:25.860 --> 01:27:28.940 he's not your person, right? 1983 01:27:28.940 --> 01:27:30.620 I love, yeah, I heard you. 1984 01:27:30.620 --> 01:27:32.180 I thought you said you were sapiosexual too. 1985 01:27:32.180 --> 01:27:34.540 I am drawn to intelligence. 1986 01:27:34.540 --> 01:27:36.900 My late husband was very intelligent. 1987 01:27:36.900 --> 01:27:39.140 And even old crushes that have popped up, 1988 01:27:39.140 --> 01:27:40.660 I was like, oh my gosh, I liked him 1989 01:27:40.660 --> 01:27:43.220 because he was so smart. 1990 01:27:43.220 --> 01:27:45.100 And so now I'm realizing as I'm talking to him, 1991 01:27:45.100 --> 01:27:45.940 like I need a man. 1992 01:27:45.940 --> 01:27:48.740 And this guy I'm talking to has depth with conversation. 1993 01:27:48.740 --> 01:27:51.140 And I notice that even sometimes on Facebook dating, 1994 01:27:51.140 --> 01:27:52.260 I'm seeing a lot of guys who are like, 1995 01:27:52.260 --> 01:27:53.740 I want deep conversations. 1996 01:27:54.540 --> 01:27:55.780 Maybe those are the ones I need to swipe right on. 1997 01:27:55.780 --> 01:27:57.060 Yes, those are the ones. 1998 01:27:57.060 --> 01:27:59.300 Forget what they look like, just give them a shot. 1999 01:27:59.300 --> 01:28:01.420 Okay, can I show you my dresses really quickly? 2000 01:28:01.420 --> 01:28:02.260 Or do you want me to just post it on for you? 2001 01:28:02.260 --> 01:28:04.420 Yeah, yeah, yeah, go get them while we take Shekinah. 2002 01:28:04.420 --> 01:28:05.340 Put it on? 2003 01:28:05.340 --> 01:28:06.300 Yeah. 2004 01:28:06.300 --> 01:28:07.460 Or do I just show you? 2005 01:28:07.460 --> 01:28:08.900 You can put them on, 2006 01:28:08.900 --> 01:28:10.060 because we'll come back to you. 2007 01:28:10.060 --> 01:28:11.620 We'll come back to you. 2008 01:28:11.620 --> 01:28:13.380 Are you, you're not naked right now, are you? 2009 01:28:13.380 --> 01:28:14.980 No, girl, I have a tank top. 2010 01:28:14.980 --> 01:28:16.020 Oh, okay. 2011 01:28:16.020 --> 01:28:17.500 All right. 2012 01:28:17.500 --> 01:28:19.940 I was like, don't let the camera slip. 2013 01:28:19.940 --> 01:28:21.340 You'll be showing us a lot of stuff. 2014 01:28:21.340 --> 01:28:23.900 Okay, Shekinah, you said you don't watch rom-coms, 2015 01:28:23.900 --> 01:28:25.180 you can't relate, 2016 01:28:26.380 --> 01:28:29.620 but it doesn't have to be about those very things. 2017 01:28:29.620 --> 01:28:31.660 It could be about something else, right? 2018 01:28:31.660 --> 01:28:33.260 But what's your question anyway? 2019 01:28:34.380 --> 01:28:35.820 Shekinah Glory. 2020 01:28:37.140 --> 01:28:39.140 Hey, Jackie, thanks for joining. 2021 01:28:39.140 --> 01:28:40.300 Is your name Shekinah? 2022 01:28:40.300 --> 01:28:42.620 Yes, I'm a PK, so yes, quite naturally. 2023 01:28:42.620 --> 01:28:44.660 Yes, it's on my birth certificate. 2024 01:28:44.660 --> 01:28:46.020 I love it, let's do it. 2025 01:28:46.020 --> 01:28:48.620 Yeah, so, you know, as I just stated, 2026 01:28:48.620 --> 01:28:51.780 being a PK, being in church all my life, 2027 01:28:51.780 --> 01:28:53.780 always told how to be the wife, 2028 01:28:53.780 --> 01:28:55.860 how to be submissive, not abusive, 2029 01:28:55.860 --> 01:28:56.980 not be in an abusive relationship. 2030 01:28:56.980 --> 01:28:58.060 We did teach that, you know, 2031 01:28:58.060 --> 01:29:00.100 some religions still tell the women 2032 01:29:00.100 --> 01:29:02.100 to stay in those abusive relationships. 2033 01:29:02.100 --> 01:29:02.940 We were not taught that. 2034 01:29:02.940 --> 01:29:03.780 We were like, hey. 2035 01:29:04.980 --> 01:29:07.180 So we were taught the marriage part, 2036 01:29:07.180 --> 01:29:08.500 but not necessarily how to date. 2037 01:29:08.500 --> 01:29:10.460 So I would invest my own money. 2038 01:29:10.460 --> 01:29:12.620 I remember being like 25, 26 years old, 2039 01:29:12.620 --> 01:29:15.060 and I paid $500 for like a matchmaker. 2040 01:29:15.980 --> 01:29:17.980 I've done the speed dating. 2041 01:29:19.100 --> 01:29:22.340 I've spent cash on like three-day workshops 2042 01:29:22.340 --> 01:29:25.140 with a relationship coach just to learn things 2043 01:29:25.140 --> 01:29:27.700 that I did not learn in the church, right? 2044 01:29:27.700 --> 01:29:31.380 And so, you know, I've been engaged twice before, 2045 01:29:31.380 --> 01:29:34.060 but we broke up before the wedding. 2046 01:29:34.060 --> 01:29:36.060 I've learned from that, moved on from that, 2047 01:29:36.060 --> 01:29:37.700 healed from that, and just let me know 2048 01:29:37.700 --> 01:29:39.660 that it's not the right one. 2049 01:29:39.660 --> 01:29:41.980 And I've had, you know, some other relationships 2050 01:29:41.980 --> 01:29:45.500 here and there that didn't make it anywhere serious. 2051 01:29:45.500 --> 01:29:48.300 So I've had throughout the years, 2052 01:29:48.980 --> 01:29:49.820 the past 23 years of dating, 2053 01:29:49.820 --> 01:29:52.260 I've always had to keep rebuilding up hope. 2054 01:29:52.260 --> 01:29:55.620 And, you know, we all know the scripture, 2055 01:29:55.620 --> 01:29:57.900 hope deferred makes the heart sick. 2056 01:29:57.900 --> 01:30:00.220 Well, I feel like I'm passive. 2057 01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:06.560 that. I feel like my tank is like running really, really low. I feel like this is going to be my 2058 01:30:06.560 --> 01:30:12.320 last year of the praying, being hopeful, being positive, trying to listen. I mean, even when I 2059 01:30:12.320 --> 01:30:20.720 go to sleep, I'm listening to like positive things. How old are you? 41. Okay. Do you follow 2060 01:30:20.720 --> 01:30:26.080 one of our sisters in Christ, Annie Downs? I'll write her name down, but no, I do not. 2061 01:30:26.080 --> 01:30:33.360 Okay. So Annie is a Christian thought leader and she's not a PK, but she's been in ministry for a 2062 01:30:33.360 --> 01:30:39.280 really long time. Very public figure, huge follow on Instagram, you know, preacher, teacher, you 2063 01:30:39.280 --> 01:30:43.200 know, teaching pastor at a huge church in Nashville. And she was one of my dating, 2064 01:30:44.400 --> 01:30:47.920 I was her dating coach. And she sounded a lot like what you're talking about, 2065 01:30:47.920 --> 01:30:52.000 sounding like right now, because she had a good life and she was just like, you know what? I 2066 01:30:52.000 --> 01:30:55.760 don't need to spend any more time thinking about this because if it's just not going to happen, 2067 01:30:55.760 --> 01:31:00.560 it's not going to happen. And she's like, I think two years older than you. And, and it happened, 2068 01:31:00.560 --> 01:31:04.720 she's engaged and she's getting married. And so I just, you know, with no, she never had a 2069 01:31:04.720 --> 01:31:09.840 boyfriend before. She had never even been kissed and is in her forties. And so I just want to say 2070 01:31:09.840 --> 01:31:15.520 this, you're in a place, even just the language that you're using, that's a good place to be. 2071 01:31:16.320 --> 01:31:20.160 It's normally when we kind of get to this place, especially when we've done everything you're 2072 01:31:20.160 --> 01:31:23.840 talking about. And that's kind of why it reminded me of her story, because she had done all the 2073 01:31:23.840 --> 01:31:28.080 things as well. She'd read all the books, she'd gone all the seminars, she'd done all the things. 2074 01:31:28.080 --> 01:31:35.360 And so I just want to tell you that, um, getting really honest about what, I don't know what your 2075 01:31:35.360 --> 01:31:40.320 fiance's had in common. We don't need, we don't have time to go into what ended the relationships 2076 01:31:40.320 --> 01:31:46.880 and why they didn't go forward into marriage. But I do want to say that, um, being willing to 2077 01:31:46.880 --> 01:31:51.600 look outside of your sphere of influence, look outside of your normal type, look outside, 2078 01:31:51.840 --> 01:31:57.040 and you not look outside, but being open to things outside of those things, even outside of 2079 01:31:57.040 --> 01:32:02.080 your race. You know, a lot of people come in and they want to marry someone of a specific race, 2080 01:32:02.080 --> 01:32:06.080 and they're not really open to anything else because of what they think or believe about that. 2081 01:32:06.080 --> 01:32:11.360 Being open, all the way open. Ladies, and you guys can take this and put in your notes too, 2082 01:32:11.360 --> 01:32:16.640 being all the way open. I feel this specifically for Shekinah, but all of you can write that down 2083 01:32:16.640 --> 01:32:25.200 at the shoe fits, wear it, but being very open to whatever it looks like and wherever it comes from 2084 01:32:26.400 --> 01:32:31.520 is going to be really important. I agree. And I've definitely have stepped out. I actually 2085 01:32:31.520 --> 01:32:36.320 packed up and moved to California just so I can be in the melting pot. So I went out with 2086 01:32:36.320 --> 01:32:40.960 Arabians, Indians. I went out with a white guy. I mean, yesterday I went out with a Spanish guy. 2087 01:32:41.120 --> 01:32:42.560 Went out with a white guy. What are we going to do? 2088 01:32:44.800 --> 01:32:48.480 Yeah, yesterday I went out with a Spanish guy. So I have to like throughout the years, 2089 01:32:49.520 --> 01:32:56.400 I definitely have been trying to step out of the norm, but it's just nothing has hit yet. And like 2090 01:32:56.400 --> 01:33:00.480 I'm running like so low. It's like, I don't know how many times I can keep rebuilding my hope, 2091 01:33:00.480 --> 01:33:03.440 you know? So I'm trying to push forward. And I just feel like after this year- 2092 01:33:03.440 --> 01:33:06.400 Well, you don't have to rebuild your hope. You just need to hide it in him. You need 2093 01:33:06.400 --> 01:33:10.560 to hide it in Jesus. Your hope is not in a man. It's not in a dating app. It's not in anything 2094 01:33:10.560 --> 01:33:15.520 else. Our hope is only deferred when we put it in the wrong things. And so just do what you're 2095 01:33:15.520 --> 01:33:19.680 doing. You're on the right track. I really did feel like diversity is important in your love 2096 01:33:19.680 --> 01:33:24.720 story. And so I think you're on the right track. And I think that if your hope is hidden in Jesus, 2097 01:33:24.720 --> 01:33:29.360 like, you know, it's one of those things where, you know, it's going to happen. It's just a 2098 01:33:29.360 --> 01:33:33.840 situation where you don't have to, you don't have to hang your hope on it because it's going to 2099 01:33:33.840 --> 01:33:38.240 happen. Like your hope is just in the right place. It's in Christ. Thank you. I appreciate it. 2100 01:33:38.240 --> 01:33:44.560 All right. Diversity, girl. I love it. Arabians, maybe give a few more white guys a chance. I know 2101 01:33:44.560 --> 01:33:47.520 you gave that one white guy. I don't know if he was a surfer boy or not. 2102 01:33:47.520 --> 01:33:51.760 With the man in the office and what's going on on the news, it's kind of scary. I'm not sure. 2103 01:33:51.760 --> 01:33:55.760 But you're in California. So no one out there is for him. 2104 01:33:57.040 --> 01:34:02.640 I mean, I was for five years and now I'm back in Virginia. But that was part of the reason. I was 2105 01:34:02.640 --> 01:34:06.240 like, oh, well, maybe my husband is like in the melting pot. So I spent five years in Cali 2106 01:34:06.320 --> 01:34:09.280 thinking I was going to meet my husband there because I was stepping out of the box and 2107 01:34:09.280 --> 01:34:12.400 dating all these other races. But now I'm back home because my parents are getting older. 2108 01:34:12.400 --> 01:34:16.400 So I'm back in Virginia. But OK. Yeah. The D.C. area where you at? 2109 01:34:16.400 --> 01:34:21.360 Oh, no. So I'm in Portsmouth, Virginia. D.C. is like an hour and a half, two hours north. 2110 01:34:21.360 --> 01:34:25.600 And it looks like the single city in D.C. is not doing too good. Last time I checked, 2111 01:34:25.600 --> 01:34:28.720 they didn't have any events set up. Yeah, I don't think they have a leader. 2112 01:34:28.720 --> 01:34:32.800 I think they lost their leader. And here you guys, I want to say this because she just reminded me, 2113 01:34:32.800 --> 01:34:39.440 but I'm going to be in Jersey on June 12th and 13th. There's a conference at King of Kings. 2114 01:34:39.440 --> 01:34:47.280 So if you're anywhere near that place, I'm trying to think of what the name of the city is in Jersey. 2115 01:34:47.280 --> 01:34:54.560 It's just right over the bridge from New York City. It's called it should be in the resource 2116 01:34:54.560 --> 01:34:59.040 guide of all of your the sign up for that conference. But it's going to be a modern 2117 01:34:59.040 --> 01:35:00.240 dating sex conference. 2118 01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:28.740 There's going to be a lots of fun stuff going on at that conference. It's not going to be a normal conference. It's going to be a lot of field work that we're doing there. It's going to be a lot of like community based matchmaking stuff that's happening there. And so if you can get there, if you're within a 234, even 5 hour drive, it'd be definitely worth going to that. So get there, get there and forget about who's in office. I was just counting down today. We're guys. So whether you like the president or not, you guys, we're not being political right now. 2119 01:35:28.740 --> 01:35:52.320 I'm just saying that they, they only serve a certain term and then they're gone. Okay. And so, and not all white men voted for him. If that's, if that's a deal breaker for you. In fact, I was asked by the team to say something about vaccinations on this call. So I'll just say it for people that are having a hard time on dating apps, because people in your age range are really concerned about political things. 2120 01:35:52.320 --> 01:36:20.320 Are you a Democrat? Are you a Republican? Are you Vax? Are you not Vax? You guys just understand that if someone has that in their dating app, then that means that that's a deal breaker for them, that they are just really rabidly, whatever that is, whether it's liberal, whether it's conservative, whether it's Vax or un-Vax, it doesn't matter. If they have it in their dating profile, then they're taking it pretty seriously. And so who cares if they're, if they're weeding you out, in fact, take a, take a page from that playbook. 2121 01:36:20.320 --> 01:36:49.320 If you feel really seriously about something, don't be afraid to weed people out based on what that is. If you feel very, very, very, very seriously about something, go ahead and use it as a weed out. All right. All right. Diversity for our sister and her dating life. And we're going to see what happens. I feel like a few of you are going to be reporting dates really soon and good ones. All right, Rosanna, do you have some, guys, it's getting late. I've got to go over to the worship night and deliver my daughter's car. 2122 01:36:49.320 --> 01:36:57.320 I do have it. Sorry. I'm trying to show my body. I don't know if you can see this. Can you see, I turned it around. Oh, can you see that? 2123 01:36:57.320 --> 01:36:59.320 You have your camera on. 2124 01:36:59.320 --> 01:37:02.320 Oh, oh no. Hold on. I'm turning it. Oh my gosh. 2125 01:37:02.320 --> 01:37:14.320 So Jeannie, Kathleen, Preeti, and Marsha, we're going to do a speed round. So just tell me what you want to ask me in 60 seconds because I want to get you in. Okay. Let's see this outfit real quick. Is it, wait, is it sparkly? 2126 01:37:15.320 --> 01:37:29.320 My shoes are sparkly. That's what I love the most. My boobs are boob in here. I was going to put a tank top and it's short and it shows my, this is kind of blurry. I'm sorry. But this is what it kind of looks like. This is one of them with like see through. 2127 01:37:29.320 --> 01:37:31.320 Oh, okay. Is it a flower pattern? 2128 01:37:31.320 --> 01:37:33.320 It is a flower pattern. 2129 01:37:33.320 --> 01:37:34.320 Okay. 2130 01:37:34.320 --> 01:37:36.320 And this is what it kind of looks like. I'll put a tank top on. 2131 01:37:36.320 --> 01:37:38.320 All right, girl. Yeah, honey. 2132 01:37:38.320 --> 01:37:40.320 And I'll put shapewear on. But. 2133 01:37:40.320 --> 01:37:42.320 Yeah, you look good. 2134 01:37:42.320 --> 01:37:55.320 And then the other one I can show. It's a, it's a flowy dress. It's a tank top. It's like orange. And I have a little thing that goes, it looks like this, excuse the mess. This is what it looks like. I think I'll show it on the group three. 2135 01:37:55.320 --> 01:37:56.320 But it's. 2136 01:37:56.320 --> 01:38:02.320 Yeah, put, listen, put side by side, get your shapewear on, get everything, take two pictures side by side of both dresses and let us vote. 2137 01:38:02.320 --> 01:38:04.320 Will do. Thank you so much. 2138 01:38:04.320 --> 01:38:12.320 All right. You're looking hot there. Okay. All right. Remember what you bait the hook with is the kind of fish you catch. 2139 01:38:12.320 --> 01:38:14.320 Okay, that's a good advice. That's good advice. 2140 01:38:14.320 --> 01:38:27.320 But, but, but, yeah, but men don't want to date their grandmas either, ladies, so please remember that. Okay, so 60 seconds or less, the questions. Jeannie, Kathleen, Preeti. So Jeannie, you're first. I'm going to cut you off if it's more than 60 seconds. 2141 01:38:27.320 --> 01:38:28.320 Okay, that's fine. 2142 01:38:28.320 --> 01:38:39.320 Okay. Okay. Yeah, just things that make you look older. I'm trying to look younger. I'm 66. But like eyelashes, what's a good brand for that? 2143 01:38:39.320 --> 01:38:53.320 First of all, you do not look 66. You look incredible. Your hair, just so you know, your haircut is perfect for you. I love this. I love the bangs. I love the blonde. I love the soft kind of layers there. That's very beautiful on you. 2144 01:38:53.320 --> 01:38:58.320 Okay, and you guys, the eyelashes that I like best, I will, are you phase two or phase three, Jeannie? 2145 01:38:58.320 --> 01:38:59.320 Three. 2146 01:38:59.320 --> 01:39:00.320 Okay. 2147 01:39:00.320 --> 01:39:01.320 Three. 2148 01:39:01.320 --> 01:39:13.320 I made a video, but I'll make another one. I used to use Flutter Habit. The glue is hard for a lot of people. I use something now called Comfy Fit. You can get them on Amazon. They're like $20 for a whole package of them. 2149 01:39:13.320 --> 01:39:14.320 Okay. 2150 01:39:14.320 --> 01:39:30.320 And they're little clusters. And all you do is you put on this bonding mascara, just like a mascara. You put it on your eye. It doesn't hurt your eyelashes. It comes off very easily when you're ready to take it off. And then you just put the little clusters on one by one. And in fact, I have them on right now. 2151 01:39:30.320 --> 01:39:32.320 Yeah, they look good. They look good. 2152 01:39:32.320 --> 01:39:33.320 Can you see me? 2153 01:39:33.320 --> 01:39:34.320 Yeah. 2154 01:39:34.320 --> 01:39:38.320 These are what they look like. These are what they look like. Look at these. 2155 01:39:38.320 --> 01:39:39.320 Okay. 2156 01:39:39.320 --> 01:39:40.320 All right? 2157 01:39:40.320 --> 01:39:41.320 Yeah. 2158 01:39:41.320 --> 01:39:50.320 I will make a little video and show you guys again what they look like. All right? You guys, they're a game changer. I love eyelashes. Eyelashes are a game changer. They come in brown, too. 2159 01:39:50.320 --> 01:39:56.320 Oh, okay. Also, legs. My legs have, you know, they just look older now, my legs. 2160 01:39:56.320 --> 01:39:58.320 Westmore. Westmore. 2161 01:39:58.320 --> 01:39:59.320 Westmore? Okay. 2162 01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:02.100 Okay, get some Westmore you guys, 2163 01:40:02.100 --> 01:40:04.020 if you feel like you have spider veins, 2164 01:40:04.020 --> 01:40:05.980 you got some breaks, you got some cellulite, 2165 01:40:05.980 --> 01:40:07.260 get some Westmore. 2166 01:40:07.260 --> 01:40:12.260 Listen, I'll do a favorite things product video 2167 01:40:12.380 --> 01:40:15.020 in phase three and I'll share it to phase two as well. 2168 01:40:15.020 --> 01:40:17.060 But just put a little bit of that in your lotion, 2169 01:40:17.060 --> 01:40:20.380 rub it on and your legs will look like you're 20 years old. 2170 01:40:20.380 --> 01:40:21.220 Okay, good, okay. 2171 01:40:21.220 --> 01:40:22.880 And it doesn't transfer on your clothes 2172 01:40:22.880 --> 01:40:26.340 and then you take it off in the shower with soap and water. 2173 01:40:26.340 --> 01:40:28.220 Okay, cool, okay, thanks. 2174 01:40:28.220 --> 01:40:29.620 I love that, you're gorgeous. 2175 01:40:30.140 --> 01:40:32.460 Okay, Kathleen, 60 seconds, what do you got? 2176 01:40:33.300 --> 01:40:36.460 I am meeting with a personal trainer 2177 01:40:36.460 --> 01:40:40.700 who is also a single dad who is going to my church. 2178 01:40:40.700 --> 01:40:45.140 And so as a personal trainer, I'm there working out. 2179 01:40:45.140 --> 01:40:50.140 So any thoughts about how to present in that environment? 2180 01:40:51.500 --> 01:40:52.360 You like him? 2181 01:40:54.300 --> 01:40:57.800 I do, and he's approached me a couple of times 2182 01:40:57.800 --> 01:41:00.960 just for conversation outside of that context. 2183 01:41:00.960 --> 01:41:04.160 So it kind of got me thinking maybe. 2184 01:41:04.160 --> 01:41:05.280 But you're his client? 2185 01:41:06.640 --> 01:41:09.440 Okay, and did you have like a little crush on him 2186 01:41:09.440 --> 01:41:10.840 before you were his client? 2187 01:41:12.080 --> 01:41:14.900 Okay, and how long are you gonna be his client for? 2188 01:41:17.320 --> 01:41:18.720 So far, it's been a month. 2189 01:41:20.060 --> 01:41:23.160 Okay, no, but how long are you planning on it? 2190 01:41:23.160 --> 01:41:24.180 I don't know. 2191 01:41:24.180 --> 01:41:25.020 Okay. 2192 01:41:25.020 --> 01:41:27.140 As long as I can afford to, I think. 2193 01:41:27.140 --> 01:41:29.100 Right, so it makes it kind of tricky 2194 01:41:29.100 --> 01:41:32.260 because if you're reading his intentions wrong, 2195 01:41:32.260 --> 01:41:33.900 then it makes it very awkward 2196 01:41:33.900 --> 01:41:36.820 and then you lost your personal trainer, okay? 2197 01:41:36.820 --> 01:41:40.460 My experience with men are is that if they like you, 2198 01:41:40.460 --> 01:41:43.180 they will engage. 2199 01:41:43.180 --> 01:41:46.120 So if I were you, I would just continue to train, 2200 01:41:46.120 --> 01:41:48.700 I would continue to be your fun self 2201 01:41:48.700 --> 01:41:52.820 and that's a pretty real environment to be in with someone 2202 01:41:52.820 --> 01:41:54.900 where you're sweating and you're all the things. 2203 01:41:54.900 --> 01:41:56.180 And so just do it. 2204 01:41:56.180 --> 01:41:59.940 And if he's interested in you besides just being your client 2205 01:41:59.940 --> 01:42:02.180 and just liking you as a person, you'll know. 2206 01:42:03.780 --> 01:42:06.620 In the meantime, I wouldn't try, 2207 01:42:06.620 --> 01:42:09.500 I wouldn't drop the hanky, I wouldn't try. 2208 01:42:09.500 --> 01:42:11.580 I would let him take the lead on this 2209 01:42:11.580 --> 01:42:13.820 so that you don't lose your personal trainer. 2210 01:42:15.500 --> 01:42:16.500 Perfect. 2211 01:42:16.500 --> 01:42:18.420 Okay, Preeti, what do you got? 2212 01:42:19.580 --> 01:42:23.420 So you know how you talked about women who like men 2213 01:42:23.420 --> 01:42:25.500 are more awkward around those men? 2214 01:42:26.020 --> 01:42:27.660 I'm that type of person. 2215 01:42:27.660 --> 01:42:31.180 I'm highly extroverted and like really, 2216 01:42:31.180 --> 01:42:35.180 like can work the room, that is what I do at my job. 2217 01:42:35.180 --> 01:42:40.180 But like I just chicken out when like I see someone 2218 01:42:40.460 --> 01:42:42.460 who I may be remotely even attracted to 2219 01:42:42.460 --> 01:42:44.420 without really anything about them. 2220 01:42:44.420 --> 01:42:49.420 So other than smiling, is there anything like in terms of, 2221 01:42:49.540 --> 01:42:53.580 like I think with my brain and I act with my brain. 2222 01:42:53.580 --> 01:42:56.260 So is there anything else other than the smile 2223 01:42:56.260 --> 01:42:59.580 that I can practice to be less awkward? 2224 01:42:59.580 --> 01:43:02.100 You need to, you know, what you would do, 2225 01:43:02.100 --> 01:43:04.220 like, you know, so if you're meeting this person 2226 01:43:04.220 --> 01:43:06.140 like in a new person context, 2227 01:43:06.140 --> 01:43:07.860 like they're a stranger to you, 2228 01:43:07.860 --> 01:43:10.060 then you need to do what you would do 2229 01:43:10.060 --> 01:43:11.180 when you meet a stranger. 2230 01:43:11.180 --> 01:43:12.540 You just told me that you're friendly 2231 01:43:12.540 --> 01:43:14.620 and you're extroverted, all right? 2232 01:43:14.620 --> 01:43:17.340 And so you need to do what you would do, 2233 01:43:17.340 --> 01:43:19.700 even if they're attractive, even if you're like, 2234 01:43:19.700 --> 01:43:21.260 wow, that guy's good looking, 2235 01:43:21.260 --> 01:43:24.340 or, you know, he has got a nice smile or whatever it is. 2236 01:43:24.340 --> 01:43:26.580 If there's someone that you know in community 2237 01:43:26.580 --> 01:43:29.900 that you continually find yourself avoiding them, 2238 01:43:29.900 --> 01:43:31.940 if they know that you're a friendly person 2239 01:43:31.940 --> 01:43:33.620 and they know that you talk to everybody, 2240 01:43:33.620 --> 01:43:35.260 but you don't talk to them, 2241 01:43:35.260 --> 01:43:38.180 they already know that you either like them or hate them. 2242 01:43:39.140 --> 01:43:40.620 Okay. Okay? 2243 01:43:40.620 --> 01:43:43.700 And they're probably not sure which one it is, 2244 01:43:43.700 --> 01:43:45.900 because they see how you are with everybody else. 2245 01:43:45.900 --> 01:43:48.540 And so they know that you're being different with them. 2246 01:43:48.540 --> 01:43:49.780 You see what I'm saying? 2247 01:43:49.780 --> 01:43:50.620 All right. 2248 01:43:50.620 --> 01:43:53.180 So is there someone in your community 2249 01:43:53.180 --> 01:43:54.500 that you see all the time at work 2250 01:43:54.500 --> 01:43:56.420 or somewhere that you're ignoring? 2251 01:43:56.420 --> 01:43:58.300 No, I'm just trying, 2252 01:43:58.300 --> 01:44:00.820 because I think like, I feel like 2253 01:44:00.820 --> 01:44:02.900 I have been friend zoned a lot. 2254 01:44:02.900 --> 01:44:05.140 Like in my, I'm in my early forties 2255 01:44:05.140 --> 01:44:06.620 and I've never been in a relationship, 2256 01:44:06.620 --> 01:44:10.260 but I feel like I typically get friend zoned. 2257 01:44:10.260 --> 01:44:13.220 And so like, I'm just trying to see 2258 01:44:13.220 --> 01:44:15.260 if I've missed any signals from people 2259 01:44:15.260 --> 01:44:16.540 and not repeat those mistakes. 2260 01:44:16.540 --> 01:44:17.980 So I'm just trying to be like- 2261 01:44:18.020 --> 01:44:20.180 Okay, let's talk about being friend zoned. 2262 01:44:20.180 --> 01:44:24.580 Ladies, fun girls, extroverted girls, 2263 01:44:24.580 --> 01:44:26.340 girls that are super easygoing 2264 01:44:26.340 --> 01:44:28.100 and girls that are go with the flow, 2265 01:44:28.100 --> 01:44:29.820 they're the ones that get friend zoned. 2266 01:44:29.820 --> 01:44:30.820 Okay? 2267 01:44:30.820 --> 01:44:32.980 So if you like someone, 2268 01:44:32.980 --> 01:44:35.940 do not position yourself as a friend. 2269 01:44:35.940 --> 01:44:37.540 And this is how you're going to do that. 2270 01:44:37.540 --> 01:44:39.300 If you work with them, 2271 01:44:39.300 --> 01:44:41.500 then you need to make sure that you're flirting 2272 01:44:41.500 --> 01:44:43.700 from the very beginning and not flirting like, 2273 01:44:43.700 --> 01:44:46.140 you know, like a guy's girl. 2274 01:44:46.140 --> 01:44:47.820 For those of you that are a guy's girl, 2275 01:44:48.660 --> 01:44:49.900 you know exactly what I'm talking about. 2276 01:44:49.900 --> 01:44:51.700 Like one of the bros, you know, 2277 01:44:51.700 --> 01:44:53.060 you're, you think you're flirting, 2278 01:44:53.060 --> 01:44:55.060 but they think that you're just being the cool girl 2279 01:44:55.060 --> 01:44:56.420 and one of the bros. 2280 01:44:56.420 --> 01:44:57.820 Guys like girls like that. 2281 01:44:57.820 --> 01:44:58.740 Yes, they do. 2282 01:44:58.740 --> 01:45:00.060 But they very rarely. 2283 01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:04.220 date girls like that okay so from the very beginning your position yourself as 2284 01:45:04.220 --> 01:45:07.680 a possibility and if they don't pay attention to you then they're not 2285 01:45:07.680 --> 01:45:11.260 interested and then you move on all right you have to position yourself as a 2286 01:45:11.260 --> 01:45:14.700 romantic possibility with people that you're interested in from the beginning 2287 01:45:14.700 --> 01:45:17.380 the reason why you're getting friend-zoned is because you're acting 2288 01:45:17.380 --> 01:45:21.940 like a friend okay don't act like a friend act like a 2289 01:45:21.940 --> 01:45:30.540 potential romantic partner do you know how to do that not really okay exactly 2290 01:45:30.540 --> 01:45:36.420 so you're gonna you're gonna flirt okay you're going to you're gonna you're 2291 01:45:36.420 --> 01:45:40.140 gonna you're gonna make eye contact you're gonna flirt you're gonna you know 2292 01:45:40.140 --> 01:45:45.780 joke around a little tiny bit you might like push his shoulder you know you 2293 01:45:45.780 --> 01:45:52.020 might you know you're going to act interested you're gonna act interested 2294 01:45:52.020 --> 01:45:56.660 it's the hardest thing for people who are just naturally friendly because you 2295 01:45:56.660 --> 01:45:59.780 think you're acting interested but all you're really doing is just acting 2296 01:45:59.780 --> 01:46:03.820 friendly because you're friendly all right so we'll probably have to do a 2297 01:46:03.820 --> 01:46:07.620 flirting class I actually have a chapter in the book on flirting I have a whole 2298 01:46:07.620 --> 01:46:13.100 chapter in there about how flirting is just kind of organic so you're already 2299 01:46:13.100 --> 01:46:17.500 friendly so that's good you have that working in your in your corner but you 2300 01:46:17.500 --> 01:46:23.180 have to add a little bit of sass to it all right you have to add a little bit 2301 01:46:23.180 --> 01:46:29.820 of you know just like kiss me stupid to it you have to add a little bit of that 2302 01:46:29.820 --> 01:46:33.580 all right so we're gonna have to have a little class on that pretty and help you 2303 01:46:33.580 --> 01:46:38.420 you're gorgeous I love your hair I love your smile of your eyes you got it going 2304 01:46:38.420 --> 01:46:46.980 on I just keep so I'm not dressed but I try yes yes all right we're gonna do it 2305 01:46:46.980 --> 01:46:52.580 okay you're welcome Marcia really quickly quick quick quick quick okay a 2306 01:46:52.580 --> 01:46:59.660 few hours ago I met a guy on Facebook that I know of but I'm not friends with 2307 01:46:59.660 --> 01:47:05.420 but I know I've heard of him and I'm aware of him all I said was I introduced 2308 01:47:05.420 --> 01:47:10.020 myself and I just said how was your day going just because I'd like to know more 2309 01:47:10.020 --> 01:47:18.700 of this guy okay what's your question no was that okay to say how how's your day 2310 01:47:18.700 --> 01:47:21.700 going with do you think that's sufficient if you don't really know this 2311 01:47:21.700 --> 01:47:27.500 guy I mean you don't know him you're asking him how his day's going I mean 2312 01:47:27.500 --> 01:47:31.140 did you go into his spam inbox I mean are you even friends with him on 2313 01:47:31.140 --> 01:47:38.540 Facebook I'm not friends with him per se but I know of this guy okay well he 2314 01:47:38.540 --> 01:47:41.620 might not see your message if you're not friends with him on Facebook they might 2315 01:47:41.620 --> 01:47:47.620 it might get put in his spam just so you know you know that's what they that's 2316 01:47:47.620 --> 01:47:56.140 what Facebook do I did okay okay I hopefully he told of me before but 2317 01:47:56.140 --> 01:47:59.940 anyway well you're you know if you're not connected on Facebook you're not 2318 01:47:59.940 --> 01:48:04.780 friends Facebook will put you your messages in the spam inbox a lot of 2319 01:48:04.780 --> 01:48:09.180 times and a lot of people don't check their spam inbox so if he doesn't respond 2320 01:48:09.180 --> 01:48:13.580 that could be the reason why but if you're saying hey you know next time you 2321 01:48:13.580 --> 01:48:18.860 say like hey I'm Marcia you know I've heard I've heard about you and I thought 2322 01:48:18.860 --> 01:48:22.500 I'd reach out how are you doing so introduce yourself don't just say hey 2323 01:48:22.500 --> 01:48:26.740 how's your day because you're a stranger so you just want to make sure that 2324 01:48:26.740 --> 01:48:31.300 you're introducing yourself first okay we have a connection I'll just say we 2325 01:48:31.300 --> 01:48:33.940 have a connection that's all I'm gonna say we have a connection and I've 2326 01:48:33.940 --> 01:48:38.460 introduced the connection okay well if you have a connection then you're asking 2327 01:48:38.460 --> 01:48:44.060 him how his days going hopefully he answers all right Michelle what do you 2328 01:48:44.060 --> 01:48:52.260 got it might be too long to thumb it up in 60 seconds what do you got all right 2329 01:48:52.260 --> 01:48:55.380 so it's very similar to the gal that with the second date I went out with this 2330 01:48:55.380 --> 01:48:59.460 guy named David the second date he kissed me with his tongue hanging out 2331 01:48:59.460 --> 01:49:05.180 third date I told him it was right after that happened I just kind of I didn't 2332 01:49:05.180 --> 01:49:08.820 say anything I just got in the car and left okay hold on a second he tried to 2333 01:49:08.820 --> 01:49:13.060 stick his tongue in your mouth well I kind of leaned forward with his tongue 2334 01:49:13.060 --> 01:49:17.900 sticking out and it was just wet it wasn't very anyway I didn't say yeah 2335 01:49:17.900 --> 01:49:21.380 exactly I didn't say anything I just kind of pulled away and and then went 2336 01:49:21.380 --> 01:49:26.220 got in the car and ran away like Cinderella so then our third date he 2337 01:49:26.220 --> 01:49:29.500 did ask me again other day I told him at some point that I just I don't you know 2338 01:49:29.500 --> 01:49:33.100 kiss until I'm in a exclusive relationship but I probably said too 2339 01:49:33.100 --> 01:49:37.780 much because then I didn't hear from him again and then I invited him to a work 2340 01:49:37.780 --> 01:49:42.700 thing a couple months later which was just less last Thursday and it was great 2341 01:49:42.700 --> 01:49:47.700 he like came and he loved it we had a great time and then I did say you know 2342 01:49:47.700 --> 01:49:51.420 what I I think I scared you away with my own kissing talk and he kind of 2343 01:49:51.420 --> 01:49:56.220 laughed and said yeah so and like in between days there's nothing there's no 2344 01:49:56.220 --> 01:50:01.820 phone call there's no text and so I'm thinking do I just like play 2345 01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:02.240 and the next day, we've gone out three times. 2346 01:50:03.440 --> 01:50:04.840 And actually the last two times 2347 01:50:04.840 --> 01:50:06.880 I've kind of planned something. 2348 01:50:06.880 --> 01:50:08.400 But it's like, I think we like each other, 2349 01:50:08.400 --> 01:50:12.120 but where he's not, he doesn't text, he doesn't call. 2350 01:50:12.120 --> 01:50:13.040 In between. 2351 01:50:13.040 --> 01:50:15.600 First of all, why do you think you like each other? 2352 01:50:17.680 --> 01:50:22.160 He's, this sounds weird, but he's the most normal guy 2353 01:50:22.160 --> 01:50:24.400 I've gone out with. 2354 01:50:24.400 --> 01:50:27.520 Normal, I like conversation back and forth. 2355 01:50:27.520 --> 01:50:30.160 Okay, here's what I want you to do, Michelle, okay? 2356 01:50:30.160 --> 01:50:31.800 You've been on enough dates with this guy, 2357 01:50:31.800 --> 01:50:34.240 you've known him for a long enough period of time, 2358 01:50:34.240 --> 01:50:36.760 you were on a couple dates, then a couple months went by, 2359 01:50:36.760 --> 01:50:38.080 and then you went on some more dates, 2360 01:50:38.080 --> 01:50:42.320 so you've been hanging out with him long enough 2361 01:50:42.320 --> 01:50:45.600 to just ask him what he's looking for. 2362 01:50:45.600 --> 01:50:46.560 Okay. 2363 01:50:46.560 --> 01:50:47.960 Okay, are you looking for someone 2364 01:50:47.960 --> 01:50:50.480 just to hang out with every once in a while and lick, 2365 01:50:50.480 --> 01:50:51.720 you just wanna lick someone's face 2366 01:50:51.720 --> 01:50:53.960 before they get in the car, like, what are we doing here? 2367 01:50:53.960 --> 01:50:57.600 Or, you know, are you actually looking for a relationship? 2368 01:50:57.600 --> 01:51:00.200 Because you just tell him, hey, I enjoy hanging out with you, 2369 01:51:00.200 --> 01:51:03.040 but I'm looking for someone who's, you know, 2370 01:51:03.040 --> 01:51:05.000 and you don't even have to tell him what you're looking for, 2371 01:51:05.000 --> 01:51:06.920 you can ask him what he's looking for. 2372 01:51:06.920 --> 01:51:11.320 And if he doesn't know, then you're just, 2373 01:51:11.320 --> 01:51:14.600 yeah, you have someone that you can invite out, 2374 01:51:14.600 --> 01:51:16.440 but he's not serious about relationship, 2375 01:51:16.440 --> 01:51:19.040 and you deserve someone who's serious about relationship. 2376 01:51:19.040 --> 01:51:19.880 Okay? 2377 01:51:19.880 --> 01:51:22.400 And the reason why you didn't hear from him 2378 01:51:22.400 --> 01:51:25.120 after he tried to lick your face 2379 01:51:25.120 --> 01:51:29.320 was not necessarily because he only wants sex, 2380 01:51:29.320 --> 01:51:31.160 but he was embarrassed. 2381 01:51:31.160 --> 01:51:32.920 Well, no, I didn't hear from him after that, 2382 01:51:32.920 --> 01:51:34.960 it was after the third date, 2383 01:51:34.960 --> 01:51:36.240 the next time I saw him after that, 2384 01:51:36.240 --> 01:51:37.520 I told him I don't do that, 2385 01:51:37.520 --> 01:51:38.800 and then I didn't hear from him. 2386 01:51:38.800 --> 01:51:40.560 Well, yeah, because he was embarrassed, 2387 01:51:40.560 --> 01:51:41.640 that's what I'm trying to say. 2388 01:51:41.640 --> 01:51:42.480 Oh, okay. 2389 01:51:42.480 --> 01:51:45.160 He was embarrassed because you, you know, 2390 01:51:45.160 --> 01:51:47.440 you brought up what he tried, you know, 2391 01:51:47.440 --> 01:51:51.200 you brought up the thing, like the elephant in the room, 2392 01:51:51.240 --> 01:51:52.640 you know, he tried to kiss you, 2393 01:51:52.640 --> 01:51:54.360 he's not a good kisser, it was gross, 2394 01:51:54.360 --> 01:51:56.080 you pulled away, you got in the car, 2395 01:51:56.080 --> 01:51:58.480 then you hung out again, and you brought it up. 2396 01:51:58.480 --> 01:52:00.560 And so then he was embarrassed after that, 2397 01:52:00.560 --> 01:52:02.280 and he was just like, whatever. 2398 01:52:02.280 --> 01:52:04.760 But then you called him a couple months later, 2399 01:52:04.760 --> 01:52:07.320 invited him to work some work thing, and then he went. 2400 01:52:07.320 --> 01:52:08.160 Right, correct. 2401 01:52:08.160 --> 01:52:10.360 Okay, so if you're interested in someone 2402 01:52:10.360 --> 01:52:11.440 who's just gonna hang out with you, 2403 01:52:11.440 --> 01:52:12.880 and they don't have anything better to do, 2404 01:52:12.880 --> 01:52:14.160 or they just want a companion, 2405 01:52:14.160 --> 01:52:16.600 or they just want someone who's eventually, 2406 01:52:16.600 --> 01:52:18.880 because, you know, what else is there to do, 2407 01:52:18.880 --> 01:52:20.160 gonna just fall in bed with them 2408 01:52:20.160 --> 01:52:23.800 and have some really, really crappy sex, okay? 2409 01:52:23.800 --> 01:52:26.640 Because that sounds like it's not gonna be a good time. 2410 01:52:26.640 --> 01:52:28.520 Then he's probably the guy. 2411 01:52:28.520 --> 01:52:31.520 But unless he tells you, hey, I'm looking, 2412 01:52:31.520 --> 01:52:33.480 I'm looking for a serious relationship. 2413 01:52:33.480 --> 01:52:35.200 So you need to ask him what he's looking for, 2414 01:52:35.200 --> 01:52:37.080 because I just really would hate to see you 2415 01:52:37.080 --> 01:52:38.840 waste your time on someone 2416 01:52:38.840 --> 01:52:40.800 who really isn't serious about anything. 2417 01:52:40.800 --> 01:52:42.560 You've been at this for a while, Michelle. 2418 01:52:42.560 --> 01:52:44.600 You've been in this community for a long time. 2419 01:52:44.600 --> 01:52:46.720 So let's weed him out. 2420 01:52:46.720 --> 01:52:48.320 Can we weed him out? 2421 01:52:48.320 --> 01:52:49.720 Yep. 2422 01:52:49.720 --> 01:52:50.640 Yep. 2423 01:52:50.640 --> 01:52:51.480 All right. 2424 01:52:51.480 --> 01:52:53.600 And ask yourself this really honest question. 2425 01:52:53.600 --> 01:52:56.320 If you were having any kind of real true success, 2426 01:52:56.320 --> 01:52:58.280 or any kind of dates with anyone 2427 01:52:58.280 --> 01:53:00.080 that you're actually truly interested in, 2428 01:53:00.080 --> 01:53:02.920 would we even be having this conversation about this man? 2429 01:53:05.400 --> 01:53:06.240 Yes and no. 2430 01:53:06.240 --> 01:53:07.080 I do like him. 2431 01:53:07.080 --> 01:53:08.560 There's a lot of good qualities. 2432 01:53:08.560 --> 01:53:10.040 Okay, then ask him what he wants. 2433 01:53:10.040 --> 01:53:12.240 He's the most normal guy I've gone out with. 2434 01:53:14.120 --> 01:53:14.960 Well. 2435 01:53:15.560 --> 01:53:16.400 Shh. 2436 01:53:16.400 --> 01:53:17.240 Shh. 2437 01:53:20.800 --> 01:53:22.360 Okay, but here's the thing. 2438 01:53:22.360 --> 01:53:24.680 If he has good qualities, wonderful. 2439 01:53:24.680 --> 01:53:27.560 Ask him what it is that he's out here 2440 01:53:27.560 --> 01:53:29.640 on these dating streets for, okay? 2441 01:53:29.640 --> 01:53:30.720 Okay, that's good. 2442 01:53:30.720 --> 01:53:31.840 You can do it, honey. 2443 01:53:31.840 --> 01:53:32.960 I believe in you. 2444 01:53:32.960 --> 01:53:34.600 All right, ladies, I had so much fun with you. 2445 01:53:34.600 --> 01:53:36.360 I love ladies night. 2446 01:53:36.360 --> 01:53:37.200 I love it. 2447 01:53:37.200 --> 01:53:41.120 Rosanna, let's see your, let's see those dresses. 2448 01:53:41.120 --> 01:53:42.840 Someone else is gonna, oh, I'm gonna do, 2449 01:53:42.840 --> 01:53:46.840 I'm gonna post my favorite things in VIP community group, 2450 01:53:46.840 --> 01:53:48.960 and then we'll share it with phase two as well. 2451 01:53:48.960 --> 01:53:49.800 Love you guys. 2452 01:53:49.800 --> 01:53:50.640 I hope to see you in the book club. 2453 01:53:50.640 --> 01:53:52.480 I hope to see you at King of Kings. 2454 01:53:52.480 --> 01:53:54.040 I'm gonna do another single spotlight, 2455 01:53:54.040 --> 01:53:55.320 just so you guys know, 2456 01:53:55.320 --> 01:53:58.000 people in our membership get first grabs 2457 01:53:58.000 --> 01:54:00.280 at all men that get single spotlighted. 2458 01:54:00.280 --> 01:54:02.440 We don't even pay attention to the public 2459 01:54:02.440 --> 01:54:06.040 and any of their requests to meet men 2460 01:54:06.040 --> 01:54:10.360 until you guys are vetted out and none of you are matches. 2461 01:54:10.400 --> 01:54:13.320 If none of you are matches, then we go to the public. 2462 01:54:13.320 --> 01:54:17.160 So I have a single spotlight pretty much for every week. 2463 01:54:17.160 --> 01:54:19.920 I'm gonna be doing single spotlights every single week 2464 01:54:19.920 --> 01:54:23.800 of eligible men of all age ranges, vetted out men, 2465 01:54:23.800 --> 01:54:25.640 good men, masculine men, mature men, 2466 01:54:25.640 --> 01:54:29.120 marriage-minded men, Christian men, men that love God, 2467 01:54:29.120 --> 01:54:32.120 men that I know, that I have, you know, 2468 01:54:32.120 --> 01:54:34.160 I've done all of the dirty work for you, 2469 01:54:34.160 --> 01:54:37.280 so all you gotta do is just show up and match, all right? 2470 01:54:37.280 --> 01:54:38.760 So lots of fun stuff. 2471 01:54:38.760 --> 01:54:39.640 I'll see you soon. 2472 01:54:39.640 --> 01:54:40.480 Bye.