Hello, welcome. Happy Memorial Day or hope you had a blessed Memorial Day. If you are
someone that is in the service, people don't typically say happy Memorial Day and things
like that. So I always try to keep that in mind, but so glad to see you all. We might
have a decent crowd. We might have a small crowd. I'm not sure, but we're going to be
here together. It's going to be great. I'm going to ask you all to bear with me. So I've
been really sick all day. So I pulled myself together. So if I have to take more breaks
throughout, I apologize. So it's going to be great though. I'm expecting God to do something
really awesome. And we're going to go through the revealing for healing cycle tonight. And
I know a lot of people have had questions about how to process their, you know, healing
and how to unpack just the different phases of this process. So with that being said,
some of our like housekeeping stuff for tonight, just a normal reminder for those of you that
are brand new, or maybe you've just been here a few weeks, you wouldn't have maybe heard
this yet, but our best practice is for you to press pause. I know that one of the big
questions that has come up is as Jackie's launching the Modern Dating Sucks book club,
we are saying yes, you all can do that. But with the caution of that, you guys, you all
ladies will not get sidetracked those of you that are in phase one, okay, the heartwork
that you won't lose sight of the fact that your your main focus right now is heart healing
and getting into that place and not thinking about boys and men too much. So if you can
do that, I think that would be great. And just want to make sure y'all don't get off
track. But want to bless you in that if you do feel led to do that. I know that I have
some ladies that are in other phases tonight here as well as a couple of faces from ladies
that have been through the hard work and finished it. So welcome all of you. If you're brand
new and you've never been here before, we'd love for you to put that in the chat for us
so that we can welcome you. Anyone brand new tonight you've never been on one of our live
sessions? Maybe not. All right, well, welcome back, everyone. Our next housekeeping is just
taking extra time to rest, which is kind of ironic since that is all I did today. And I
was just thinking about this. Before I got on the session tonight is that sometimes the
way that we rest and slow down, unfortunately, for some of us is when we aren't feeling great.
Emily, welcome for your first time. So glad to have you here with us. So either way, though,
make sure that you're taking time to rest. So what I mean by that, the reason I wrote that
in my notes wasn't necessarily just to sleep, but we do need extra sleep. When we're processing
healing things. As things are coming up, if you're just joining us, I'm sorry, I'm sniffly
and all kinds of things tonight. So it's going to be a bumpy ride. I haven't been feeling
well, but I did not want to cancel our session tonight because we are talking about the
revealing for healing cycle. And it's so important to this process. But what I was talking
about is God has just been really speaking to me about Sabbath and how important taking
Sabbath is. And it doesn't necessarily I know a lot of people think it's only Sunday. But
what's interesting is church ministry people work every Sunday. So if that was the case, we
would never take a Sabbath, right? And so Sabbath really is when is God asking you to come
away with him and take some time, you know, in your regular schedule to press pause to seek
him and spend time with him. Alright, so Supernatural Saturday, y'all. I was getting
massive revelation listening to that. I hope that you did too. If you haven't listened to it
yet, highly recommend it. You've got a friend in him. Just some really cool revelations being
shared and just a lot for us to think about and consider as we're moving forward. What is
God calling us out of? Where is God leading us into when we feel like the struggle or the
path is hard? The reality that God helps us on the way? Pretty awesome. So check that out. I
think it'll really, really bless you. All right, let me pray for us. And we'll jump right in.
Father, thank you so much for this night. We thank you for everything that you're doing in our
lives. We thank you, God, for these amazing women. We thank you for the plans and the
promises that you have for them. All that you're doing, all that you're weaving in and out of
their lives. God, we know that you just, Lord, they're so special to you. I pray that you would
remove any chaff, remove any distractions, any weight that so easily ensnares them. God, so
that they can press on toward the high calling of God for their lives, that they can step into
the fullness of who you are.
originally created them to be.
Yes, Lord, I pray that you would just reveal scales or remove,
excuse me, scales from their eyes to reveal their true
identity a little bit more tonight. We're asking for
revealings for healing to happen that are supernatural God that
you are the great dot connector. Nothing is too hard for you.
Even things that we don't know exist in our subconscious still
that are hindering us or holding us back. God, I thank you that,
you know, in the right moment at the right time, those things are
percolating to the surface. I pray that you would give every
woman that's here live tonight, those that are going to watch
the replay. God give them supernatural revelation and
understanding and insight so that they can comprehend what
we're talking about, that they can apply it to their own
stories, that even examples that are given God that it's not just
about my life. It's about how can that like, how can they
relate that and translate that to their life so that they can
receive revelation. So God, we just thank you that you're doing
it all.
Yes, Lord, even right now, I just surrender all of this to
you. So many times, Lord, I just always remember before I jump on
that, even as a coach and a leader and a servant for you,
God, I can't do anything apart from you. And I'm reminded of
that so much more when I'm not feeling well, but the truth
always remains God that you are the Savior that you are the one
that sets them free. God, I thank you that I can just be a
vessel for you to work through. I thank you God that they would
hear everything you need them to hear tonight. In Jesus name.
Amen. God bless you. Welcome. I see some more ladies have
joined again, if you're just joining, I apologize, I'm gonna
have to take a lot of pauses probably throughout tonight. I
feel out of breath, but I'm actually just sick. But we're
gonna be here together and it's gonna be good and fun. And I
hope that you could still feel my energy coming through because
that's what I prayed for. So tonight as we talk about the
revealing for healing cycle, it's so important for y'all to
remember this core principle. You can't replace the events in
your life that have happened. Okay, we can't go back and
change those things. That'd be really cool if we could
sometimes right in our heads, at least we think that but we can
we can replace the lies that we believed as a result of these
events. Now these could be things that we've done, they
could be things that other people have done to us, they
could be just things that happen like an accident. I can't tell
you how many times accident stuff has come up in
conversations lately, how many people have been traumatized
because of accidents they've been through so many people that
don't even drive because of it. And some people that's how the
enemy tries to kind of follow them and hinder them. My
spiritual daughter, my oldest spiritual daughter, I mean,
she's only gonna be 22 year old. And I mean, the number of
accidents she's been in is like for her age, it's like, kind of
mind boggling. And so I'm just always praying for a hedge of
protection around her because I can see the enemy trying to
hinder her because of this. It's like she never feels safe, or
protected. And she's been hit a lot. I think once or twice, it's
been her fault. So interestingly enough, I don't know if that
resonates for anyone. But even things like that, that we might
not consider or think about can cause trauma, and cause us to
believe lies that we hold on to and that get into our
subconscious, and then they start to invade every other area
of our lives. And so I'm going to show you the revealing for
healing cycle. If you're not familiar with it, this is in
week three, if you're brand new, it's okay. If you're not in week
three yet don't check out because this is going to help
you learn about it more so that as you get there, you'll know
even more how to apply it. For those of you that are already
past it, don't worry about it. Again, this is all we trust
God's perfect timing of when you came in and when you see this
session. All right, give me one sec. All right. Can you all see
that on the screen there? Okay, cool. Yes. All right. Perfect.
Thank you, Catherine. Let me just move it over just because I
have something else that's popping up there. Alright, so
this is just the way I like to coach this again, if somebody
else was leading this session, they might do it similar or a
little different. But the core concepts are the same. This is
how I interpreted it and started applying it for my life. We
always recommend for y'all to start as much as you can now
remember this too. This isn't about perfect. Okay, this isn't
so much like this is the only way that you can do this for
this to work. That's not what we're saying. But typically, if
you have a negative emotion, we would say that that is one of
the first places to start. So we would recommend you to start in
this in the pink. But as you can see, there's arrows all
throughout this. So if you know your trauma,
story, but you're like, I don't know what my emotions are, because some people
shove their emotions down so much that they've been suppressed for so long that they don't
cry anymore. They don't even know what their emotions are. So it's very, it can be very
difficult for them to identify their emotions. And so then they feel tend to feel a little
overwhelmed with this. Well, you most likely know what your trauma stories or your painful
memories are. Okay, and I'll walk through those in a minute. But as you think about
negative emotions, I'm going to give you a couple examples tonight. Again, yours could
be totally different. But even in the accident thing, I feel like the fear, I'm going to
bring up fear tonight, in general, fear can happen in a lot of different ways, you know,
so whatever happened in your life to cause fear, if you've ever felt fear, that you would
just start to recognize, okay, yeah, I remember feeling fear in this situation, or this situation,
the one that I'm going to go further into tonight is not just fear in general, it's fear
regarding men, fear around men fear regarding men. And so my negative emotion wasn't just
fear by itself. It was that I was very, very afraid of the dark growing up, I had a lot of
fear around men, I had a lot of fear and insecurity regarding my body. Like there was just a lot of
layers. But tonight, I'm going to talk about fear around men. Number two, painful memory.
So sorry, y'all. So the way I like to, like, because a lot of people will be like, what's
the difference between a painful memory and a trauma story? The way I like to describe it is
like, the painful memory is kind of like an umbrella, okay, like the top of the umbrella,
and the trauma story is kind of like the spokes up under the umbrella that make it kind of spread
out if you think about it. So for me, painful memory is kind of like the overarching theme,
abused by men. So that was kind of the overarching concept. And that is my painful memory. Now,
I have several trauma stories associated to that specific painful memory. For example,
these are more specific. Sexually abused by my brothers and my sister when I was younger.
Emotional mental spiritual abuse by my ex-husband. And the sexual abuse with him was more in regards
to he withheld intimacy and sex as a control. He used my, the stuff I went through with my brothers
against me kind of saying like, he couldn't touch me, he was afraid to touch me. It was like this
really kind of messed up dynamic. So while he didn't, you know, per se sexually abused me,
there was just a lot of things that cause a lot more sexual trauma. And that was connected to my
ex-husband. Additional trauma stories that also came up in my process of healing that were
connected to this. There was this time when I was younger, my mom took us to this house party
back in the day when there was home interiors and a lot of people would go from house to house. And
I just remember we went to this house and all the kids were sent upstairs.
And I don't even know how or why, but there were multiple rooms upstairs and there was this one boy
in particular that just was like everything he could do to get me by myself to the point that
all the other kids were in another room and I ended up locked in this room. He pushed a dresser
in front of the door to get me to be in this room by myself. My sister literally was like shoving
the door down. And so I don't really remember anything else. My sister got me out of there,
thankfully, but I just remember that happening. And then in high school,
someone that called herself my friend and said she was just messing around, put something down
my shirt, shoved me in the bathroom and then told one of the boys that we hung out with to come in
and get it kind of thing. And so he thought it was all game. I think he thought I thought it was a
game and I totally did it. And so that embarrassed me, traumatized me again. It was a whole thing.
And so again, ladies, the reason I'm sharing these is, is there all these different aspects
and layers when these things were happening that I believe the lie that men are like, I have to
be afraid of men. I can't be safer on boys either. Not just men, boys, young men. And so that got
reinforced and reinforced and reinforced by the enemy. And so the lies believed were starting
to get revealed. These are just two of them tonight. All in.
men, all men and boys are abusive. I need to be afraid of
men, which is what I was just talking about. And so that's
where we go through, we start to see what these lies are. And
again, there were a lot others, but those are the two I'm
sharing in this regard tonight. And then we want to take you
guys, a lot of people will come where they recognize the lies,
but they don't go all the way through to God revealing the
truth. That's such an important part of this process, ladies.
And so I'm going to share a couple of my truths with you
that God gave me. And then again, you're going to want to
seek the Lord for yours. And if you're not really quite sure how
to get there, you can come into the group. And we can help you
process that to get there. You can look up scriptures online
that just are the opposite. So you know, the opposite of fear
is faith. It's also love. Remember love, love, perfect
love casts out all fear, because fear has to do with
torment. Sorry, I'm gonna have to take a drink. We'll get there,
ladies, we'll get there. So just you're going to look for the
opposite so that you can lean into that truth and partner with
it. So for example, I write, I like to write a declaration
first. So for number one, all men are abusive. The opposite of
that is I don't have to fear or be afraid. Okay, that was what I
wrote over myself. And I don't know if any of you all remember
the story I used to when I was afraid of the dark, I literally
over and over and over would declare myself I bet my last
name was Stanko at the time. I Bethany Stanko don't have a
spirit of fear, but a spirit, a spirit of love and of power in a
sound mind. And when I would feel that that need to run up
the stairs, because that's what would happen for whatever
reason, when I was afraid of the dark, I would resist that
that desire to run like I would resist that and walk slow
intentionally, because it was reminding me that I didn't need
to give into the flesh, I didn't need to give into the fear. And
so I really had to talk that stuff out. But then I get a
scripture or two to go with it. So Isaiah 4110. I'm going to go
off screen share screen share so I can see you all too. All
right, awesome. So the scriptures with I don't have to
fear or be afraid. Isaiah 4110. So do not fear for I'm with you
do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and
help you I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah
4113 says for I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right
hand and says to you do not fear I will help you. Here's
another one of my opposites. So I need to be afraid of men. The
truth is I can trust God to protect me. Isaiah 121 seven
through eight, the Lord will keep you from all harm. He will
watch over your life the Lord will watch over your coming and
you're going both now and forever more. A lot of
kickback I get on that is well, where was God when these things
happened? Right? It's the truth. A lot of people I had to wrestle
with that. And you all I think there's goodness in the in the
wrestling in those things. God wants to hear what you think. He
already knows it. So why not just have that conversation with
him. And what I want you to understand is that God in his
immense love for all of us gave us free will. Every person has
free will to choose. We have free will. And sometimes we
don't choose right. And sometimes our choices have hurt
people. But see, we weigh we weigh sin, don't we? We say what
someone else did is worse than what we did. And we become the
judge and the ruler. But that's not what God's asked us to do.
He's the judge, there's one judge. And so what I for me,
again, you're gonna have to go through your own process. A
couple things that really helped me was understanding that
everybody had free will. And, you know, unfortunately, my
brothers chose really bad, and so did my sister. And one thing
that I also remember very vividly was the first time God
started showing me that he was with me in those situations and
ways that he even like stuff would happen that would cause,
you know, the abuse to stop in that time. And like someone
randomly showing up at the door or just things like that, that I
just see more of that side of it now as well. And so I'm really
pray and ask God to give you revelation of where he was when
that hard thing happened, and allow him to show it to you. And
if you're willing
and able to go there. I believe that you're going to be set free from a lot more of this stuff,
the lies where the enemy has told you that God was never there with you. And if God loved you,
he would have protected you. He wouldn't have even allowed that thing to happen.
Well, the Bible says that trials and tribulation are going to come. Why? Because there's a devil.
The devil is the one that comes to seek, kill, and destroy. God is the one that comes. Jesus
Christ came to give us life and give it to us more abundantly. He came to free us from the curse.
And so we can walk in that freedom. We can apply the blood of Jesus Christ to our lives,
and we can be set free. Rosanne, let's see, what was the scripture in Isaiah? There were two. The
first one was Isaiah 41, 10, and then Isaiah 41, 13. You can probably read 12 as well, but for
whatever reason, I only wrote, I guess it would be 11 and 12. I just wrote verse 10 and 13 there.
But yeah, really seeking God about your verse. What is God speaking to you about his protection,
about his love, about his provision, or whatever that is that you need to hear?
All right, let's start talking about the heart is the womb. So we've been laying this groundwork
for the last few weeks. Remember, whatever goes into our heart is going to get reproduced.
So that's why we've been working on even asking God to change the way we see other people and
other situations. But first, before we even did that last week, what did we do the week before?
We're trying to clear out the negative stuff, aren't we?
Surrender came before that. That's why we try to work in a process here,
because what we have to remember is anything that is in there is going to get reproduced.
Y'all, I cannot tell you how many times I've had conversations,
even with my own self, about what we believe we become. Whatever's in our heart is going to,
out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. We act or don't act out of what we believe about
ourselves. So if you're showing up in a conversation and you actually believe that
that person rejects you or doesn't like you before you even show up in the conversation,
well, guess what? You're going to show up way differently than if you believed that you're loved,
that you're protected, that you're a likable person. Whether that person likes you or not,
if you believe that you're a likable person before you even show up in that conversation,
you're just going to show up differently. I've learned it. I've felt it. I've experienced it.
It happens all the time. So what are you allowing to get planted in your heart in this season?
I want you to really be thinking about that. You know, what are you meditating on? What are
you thinking on? You know, I'm just going to make this up. This is just what's coming to me. Your
mom says something to you or said something 20 years ago about, you know, your husband or your
lack of, and you still believe that internally and you're still living that out. Maybe it's a
friend that said something. You know, people say things they don't mean. I really don't think most
people mean to hurt people to the depth that they do. I had someone say on Mother's Day,
so I have a stepson and then I have my two spiritual daughters. I have not had any biological
children, but I have children, you all. I had my stepson. He lived with us. He was a baby. I mean,
like literally I've raised kids. I had my niece when my sister was in high school. Now she wasn't
my bio kid, but my sister had postpartum depression and was very much struggling to raise her own kid
and I helped her. So I know what it's like to raise kids, but I had someone that I haven't
seen in a really long time. She's going through a divorce and I reached out to her trying to
encourage her and she said something back that I was just like, do people think before they say
things? I just don't think they do sometimes. She said, I know you don't have kids of your own,
but maybe, you know, maybe you're having a blessed day or something. I hope you're having a blessed
day or something like that. And I just thought, what the heck? Like, okay. So because I didn't
have a baby in my stomach, this is what people believe. And this is why so many, even women in
our community are getting hurt. So y'all I'm going on the front lines on this. This is something I'm
really praying into. Y'all can pray for me about it. I'm really praying about writing a mini book
on this because I think people need to grow in this area and the body of Christ in the world
in general. I think a lot of people, I mean, she's a Christian. I don't think she, I mean,
she's a good person. I don't think she intended.
to be offensive but she she was really offensive I didn't even respond to the
text yet because I just was like man I have kids I have kids and I know how to
raise kids and I know what it's like to be a mom just because they're not
biologically mine doesn't mean I don't walk in that and so I'm saying that to
you to say I could really I could believe the lie that the enemy is trying
to continue to say to me through that I know that some of you know what I'm
talking about because the enemy tries to say that you're never gonna be a mom you
don't can't be a mom if you foster this way or if you do fostering if you do
it it's just all a lie
there there are young girls that need mentors and people that walk in a
spirit of motherhood right now that have no one investing in their life
and I believe that we can be a part of the change but how can we well we have
to heal in our hearts first and I'm not saying that's for everybody but I'm just
saying I feel like I've even been chatting with Jackie about it I feel
like not only are we gonna be a movement of kingdom families and
marriages but I think we're gonna be a movement that revitalizes the idea of
family I feel the Holy Spirit in that I believe that with all my heart because
family and maybe because I grew up in my family was so dysfunctional that I had
to learn over and over and over again that Psalm 68 6 is true that God places
the solitary and family God places us in family yeah yeah and family is being
reconciled 100% yes so I don't know why I started going on that but I believe
it's part of God's heart and so there is that what are we thinking on I think I
started sharing about that because I could easily have kept meditating on
that now I have been thinking on it in the sense of man every time this happens
I keep feeling like I need to be a voice for this I need to be a voice for this
so let's maybe allow God to take you know any of the pain that we have and
turn it into purpose versus lies that we believe that we would start to just
partner with that stuff what are we currently planting in our own hearts so
for example let me give a different concept maybe there is something that
you're trying to do this is just the idea that came to my head maybe you're
trying to get a new job you're trying to go to a new city and immediately you
start hearing all the lies and all the reasons you can't or you're not able or
nobody's gonna see you and if you grab on to that it's almost like planting it
in your own heart like you're partnering with that right and so think about it
from that perspective what we're thinking about remember what we believe
we become what are we planting in our own hearts what type of fruit are we
producing out of there when God uses the word good he isn't talking about our
human standard of good like when he's talking about that good good life you
know that he wants us to walk into and understand that he has that for us for
some of us that's a foreign concept we think God wants to punish us because we
believe God is just a punisher well he's not he's not and so if that's where
you're at I really want to encourage you to even start to pray into and partner
with God can you teach me the ways that you're a good father because if we
believe he's a punisher then we actually believe that he's just up there with
like like a paddle a whip or something now he does correct us he does
discipline us if you will and guide us into better places when we're when we're
doing things that are not according to his word that because he knows he
there's a better life for us to live and he wants that for us he doesn't want
there to be just disconnect between him and us he wants us to be connected and
close to him and when we walk into sin he never gives up on us you all but it
causes brokenness it causes a sever right but when we return back what
happens right away what does it say unconditional love that's that's what
his love is all about that's what he walks in that's who he is he is love
himself he cannot
deny himself. So if you believe, like last week, I've been
thinking about it all week, my little drawing, I left it out if
you didn't see it. Oh, hold on. Y'all have to check it out. I'm
not going to go into what I taught. Go back and check that
replay out. See this? This is the happy center with God. We're
not out here. We're not the black sheep sitting on the
outside. We're not orphans. We're princesses. We're in the
kingdom. We're already in there with him. But we have to believe
that. All right. All right. So when it's talking about that
good, remember that it's he's referring to his standard of
good. Jeremiah 2911 says for I know the plans I have for you
says the Lord they are plans for good and not for disaster. He
doesn't have plans for disaster for us to give you a future and
a hope. So maybe you do have a little something you know
working on the inside of you. Maybe in your life, there's some
things that are working but isn't God's version of good yet.
You know, I was talking to this lady at church yesterday. And I
do I think she's done a lot of healing work. I've been trying
to get her to come into our community. Slowly drop dropping
little seeds. She's single, so she's ready to date. But she
said, I think I think I'm good. I think I'm all healed. Well, I
do life with this lady. I mean, I didn't say no, you're not. I
said, Yeah, you've healed a lot. I would still highly recommend
considering our group. That's the way I said it. This is the
thing. I think that there are times where we are like, I'm
good. I don't need I don't really need to do that. But if
God is inviting us into a higher level of revelation of good, why
wouldn't we want to go into that place? The land that's flowing
with milk and honey, not the land that's dry in the
wilderness. Right? So where do you need an upgrade in your
heart in your life in your mind? Where do you want? Maybe not
even just need it. You just you're like, man, I want this.
These are the things I want to encourage you to write out
journal these things. Don't minimize the thoughts like even
as I think about that book, like I get excited thinking about
people's hearts and minds that could be shifted through just
talking about this. And I'm not trying to minimize moms that
have kids biologically either. Because man, that's incredible.
But I think that's that's, you know, again, that's our society
and sin is about separation and division, competition. One is
better than the other one is more important than the other
one is more established than the other. I think God's heart is
just like, who will walk as a mother to this person? Who will
step in as father to this person? I think that's God's
heart. That we would we would all be a part of displaying the
mother heart of God, the father heart of God to people, and that
they would know his fullness. So where do you want that upgrade?
Where do you want God to take you to a new revelation of who
he is, and what he has for your life, your problem areas are the
places that you have the most unhealed wounds. So if you are
looking at your life, and you're like, okay, this is where I'm
really still struggling. I just can't get past this hurdle, that
is going to reveal to you that that's where you still have a
lot of wounds, you're still things sitting under there that
you have need of God to help you break free. Proverbs 23, seven
says, in the amplified version for as a person thinks in his
heart, so is he. So same thing. It's, it's just you believe what
you or what you believe you become. That's, that's the
scripture for it right there.
Flies, lies and counterfeit lives. We talk about this in the
book, we talk about this in the coursework. Remember the flies
come in and plant where they think they can reproduce where
there's that food source, there's enough pain and things
in there that they can live off of. So we talked about this in
this week, because here's the thing, the revealing for healing
cycle is going to help you identify the lies and the flies
and the counterfeit identities that you're living into. Some
of you partner with I'm just shy. I'm just shy. I that's not
for me. I'm not somebody who joins a group that people that I
don't know and actually shares that's just that can be their
thing. But that's not my thing. And again, yes, I do think that
there are people that have different personalities. But
y'all, why do we partner with that stuff?
What if God wants to draw you out of that place?
What if you partnered with S.H.I.E. when you were a kid because of something that happened?
Or something that was said?
I was coaching someone this one time and she said that her mom used to always say out loud
when she would introduce, she had a couple kids, and she would introduce this daughter,
oh, this is my S.H.I.E. daughter.
She would literally say that. Her mom wasn't trying to be mean.
And maybe that was partially true. Maybe she was a little more timid,
but maybe because of the birth order she was in, maybe the other kids were louder.
Maybe, you know, this can happen a lot if one sibling is really sick,
you'll see another sibling believing that they don't matter as much
or trying to keep the peace because mom and dad can't handle anymore.
I hear it and see it all the time.
So what can happen a lot is they partner with, well, I'm just shy.
I'm not outspoken like them. I'm not this.
And they start labeling themselves and actually isolating and hiding parts of themselves
because they don't really know if the people around them are able to handle it.
If they actually, I had the same lady who said when she was going through some stuff,
she was afraid to actually even tell her parents that she was struggling
because they were already worried about her other siblings.
And she felt this deep need to be the good kid, the one that didn't get in trouble,
that didn't have any problems, that didn't have, you know, all these other things going on,
but she actually had stuff going on.
And maybe that's what some of you have done over the years.
But God doesn't want you to stay there.
So these lies, we call them squatters.
They turn into squatters. If you don't know what a squatter is,
they are somebody that goes into a home that's not theirs or a place of living
or even people will try to, like when our church was burnt down and had no doors,
you know, they put up fence and all that around it to try to keep, you know,
people from going inside and trying to live in their squatters.
So these lies turn into these squatters that have taken up residence in our hearts
and the enemy is trying to hinder our breakthrough and he does it through these squatters.
Every time you try to move forward, you're going to start to hear the lies surfacing
because he doesn't want you to move forward.
So what are the squatters that you need to evict tonight?
You know, what are the things that even with that revealing for healing cycle,
maybe you're like, okay, I don't know what the lies are yet,
but I know that I struggle with anger, bad.
And I don't like feeling like this anymore.
Maybe you're one of the ones that isolates and withdrawals and pulls back.
And you know that you do that.
You don't necessarily like living and doing life by yourself a lot.
But sometimes that has just felt easier.
So the enemy convinces you of.
So what squatters do you need to evict tonight?
Be thinking about that. That's not your breakout question.
Okay, it's part of it.
Here's your breakout question.
What is a negative emotion or memory that God is bringing up in your heart and mind tonight?
Okay, so what's a negative emotion or a memory?
Because if I just say emotion, some people get really stressed if they don't know the emotion.
Okay, so either one or you can talk about both.
What's a negative emotion or memory that God is bringing up in your spirit tonight?
For that revealing for healing cycle and process to begin.
Let me get these breakout sessions ready.
Okay.
All right, I'm going to give you all seven minutes.
So join those as quick as you can, and then you'll have more time.
Be short, brief, and powerful, ladies.
Okay, let's get her up there.
For did you get kicked out if you're talking, I can't hear you.
I was the only one in the room. Yeah, I was trying to move some people around. Um, what room were you in? Oh, I didn't even check. I'm sorry. That's okay. Let me see if I can find you. I can send you another one if I can find the right. Okay. There's only two people there.
There we go.
I just see two people for
All right. Did you see that pop up for you? There's two people in the room that you that I just sent you the invite for. Okay.
All right, Father, thank you so much for this night.
I thank you for what you're already doing. God, thank you for strength. Even as I'm coaching God, I thank you for clarity.
I thank you that you'd be with the women in the breakout sessions, even those here live that are also going to watch the replay.
God, we thank you for revealing for healing that are happening.
God, that you would remind the ladies of negative emotions, painful memories, even trauma stories that are related to those things.
God, that you would bring anything out of darkness into the life light that needs revealed for healing. God, I thank you that you would take them from where they've been to where you want them to go.
Yes, Lord, I thank you that every step in this process is important.
Yes, Lord, we just breathe in your presence. Even as I've had to pause more tonight. I just feel like the Lord just keeps inviting me to
remember that he's with us and
even when things are hard. So even as your heart work is hard at times, he's with you. He's never going to let you down. I know he's here with me even helping me to be able to coach tonight. I just hope that you experience that same presence, that same affirmation, that same love.
Yes, Lord, I thank you that you would just wash over all of these ladies
with fresh waves of your love, grace,
of your peace, of your power. We thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here. We thank you that you would
help them all to live and move and have their being in you. That they would never be satisfied apart from your love, Lord.
That they would fall more and more and more in love with you, Jesus, Father God and Holy Spirit. And that out of that love that they would grow in their identity in Christ more.
Yes, Lord, that you would make them completely whole, lacking no good thing.
That you would make them whole physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially. God, that they would lack no good thing.
Yes, Lord, that you would go into the recesses and to the areas and the cracks and the crannies, if you will, that you would go into every area of their foundation and you would just pour your love.
Yes, Lord, we know that you are our dwelling place.
Even this past Sunday, Pentecost Sunday, God, we thank you
that you sent the Holy Spirit to empower us, to equip us for every good work, including walking out your plans and promises for us into the fullness of what you have for us.
Yes, Lord, we thank you for healing power, even as I need healing physically myself tonight. God, I thank you for physical healing in these ladies.
Physical healing in their bodies and their emotions and their souls and their spirits and their minds. We just come against any kind of memory issues or struggles from PTSD or even, yeah, Lord, I don't know, someone I just feel like maybe a parent has spoken or a parent had memory issues and someone's fearing they're going to have the same thing.
We just speak peace to that. We say, peace be still and all lies be dispelled in Jesus name. We thank you for truth that would prevail and come to the forefront.
Yes, Lord, we thank you where there's been bitter roots, Lord. We just thank you that you would just come and place the balm on us.
Yes, Lord, we thank you where there's been bitter roots, Lord. We just thank you that you would just come and place the balm of Gilead upon those areas.
That you'd bring healing and restoration, that you'd bring grace and truth.
We plead the blood of Jesus Christ over those areas right now. Yes, Holy Spirit, we lose in Jesus name and by the power of your blood, Jesus, the spirit of love and of power, Lord, we thank you that you would just come and place the balm of Gilead upon those areas right now.
of a sound mind, a spirit of forgiveness, a spirit of
reconciliation, a spirit of peace.
Yes, Lord, I thank you for families being healed and
restored. Even as someone wrote in the chat, we thank you God
for kinsmen redeemers that you've called us to be that in
our families.
And just as Jesus Christ came to be a kinsmen redeemer for us,
he enables us to walk that out in our lives in our communities.
And we just thank you God for transformation that is
happening.
We thank you for helping us Lord to see your truth.
Yes, Lord, we thank you that you take us from glory to glory to
glory help us to see you Lord more fully.
GG, I just saw your microphone thing. That's totally fine.
That happens.
You may want to ask a friend to help you work on your mic.
Because we have some people that they've not been able to and
they asked someone to help them and that person help them help
them figure out the mic so they were able to use it the next
session. But that totally is fine. And that happens. Thank
you for letting me know.
As I was just kind of flipping through here, I flipped through
to repentance. I'm going to say something about that really
quick.
So I'm letting them come back.
We're not talking about repentance necessarily tonight,
but this just stood out true repentance will break the cycle
and set us free from the mindsets that are behind the
patterns that we've lived in. And so Lord, we just thank you
for a spirit of
just repentance for things that we've done Lord help us to
forgive the harm that others have done to us. We thank you
Lord that you would just continue to bring revelation to
our minds and you are Hello, welcome back. Welcome, welcome.
All right. Awesome. Hopefully you enjoyed that I'm getting to
know a couple more people are activations for this week. It's
been really great to see your fun activations to see your
posts this last week. Keep those up.
Your activation for this week and even my ladies that are
joining from other phases, even though you're here in this phase
and some of you have done these before feel free if you feel
led to do the activations again to go ahead and do it and just
post it and your group and you can just tell them that you you
join the hard work and that you're just posting in your
group. Okay.
Because this week is something that we can all do and we can
revisit this one all the time.
Create an
so sorry.
Create a post in the group this week with answering these
questions. So what squatters are you evicting? Remember what
lies the lies are the squatters what squatters are you evicting
this week and literally when you're evicting it the point is
you're saying I am kicking you out and and you can't just keep
coming back in. Okay, so we're drawing a line or lie and
when people
when people evict people out of their home when they don't
belong there, guess what they can change the locks and those
people can't come back in. So that's kind of the point of this
eviction thing. All right.
Who are you struggling at times to like to pretend to be we've
worked on that in other weeks. But is that showing up at all
this week? Here are some other lies and squatters that we want
to encourage you to pray into and pray about kicking out
passivity. So that's like inactive, unreactive, inert,
and inferiority complexes, cultural and family norms. You
know, we, we don't want to partner with this is just one
example. Men are lazy or men don't actually, you know, love
Jesus the way women do men don't, you know, for a long time,
we've had to been five years I've been doing this. We've been
breaking those lies down about men.
There's a lot of women that believe that men don't really
pursue God that they don't have a heart for God the way they do
that's not that's not healthy mindsets, ladies. All right.
That's one example cultural can also be, you know, things that
you grew up in and your culture that are not serving you,
they're actually hindering you. All right. poverty mindsets, so
lack of God's provision for you believing that he won't look out
for you provide for you. Victimhood mindsets. We've been
talking about those the last few weeks, religious mindsets,
where you're going to lay aside religious mindsets, religious
thinking, perfectionist thoughts can kind of partner with that as
well.
Scarcity mindsets, addictive behaviors, wanting to self-medicate in some way.
This could be, you know, alcohol, this could be drugs.
In our day and age, y'all, you know, not trying to step on people's toes.
I know some people use this for cancer.
And so, you know, I'm not trying to get into what is right or what is wrong.
But, you know, it's becoming more and more common for people to say they have been prescribed marijuana.
But, y'all, so many people are doing this to just numb out.
It's true.
Okay.
And so, again, I'm not trying to step on toes.
I'm not trying to start a big war discussion on this.
I'm just saying, even in extended family, a conversation that happened a couple months ago, that's kind of the thing that's happening up where we used to live.
And it's growing.
And I've noticed that we have several stores popping up here in locations in Florida.
And so I think this is going to be more and more common.
We have to remember, what is the Holy Spirit saying to us?
Is that something he wants for us?
Or does he want us to lean into him to heal and not self-medicate?
This can also be with porn.
It can be with TV.
All kinds of stuff.
All right.
And then bitterness.
Are you stuck in a cycle of bitterness and resentment?
Really be thinking about that.
I know some people will be adamantly no right away.
But when you just go back to, well, it's their fault.
They did this.
If we get that kind of tone and attitude in our heart, even if we don't say it outwardly, there's a lot that can be rooted in bitterness and unforgiveness, resentment, all that.
And it can turn into anger.
It can turn into wrath.
A lot of things.
Vengeance.
So keep an eye out for those things.
And then you're going to do a post.
If any of that spoke to you, you don't have to do a post about all of it, but if any of that spoke to you or if God is revealing other things to you this week, come into the group, talk to us about it.
We can help you process that more.
All right.
Who is willing to share with the whole group what you shared in your breakout session?
Any takers tonight?
All right.
There we go.
Lisa Mendrix can go first.
I saw your hand pop up first there.
Okay.
Yeah.
So what's been going on for me is that I'm applying for a home stewardship position in Carmel, and I'm getting ready to get all of that going in the next couple of days.
Because I'm just done with my resume.
Everything.
Like, it's taken me over a month to do this.
And, you know, cover letters like referral.
Anyway, I won't carry on.
But I had a conversation with my pastor's wife for the first time in the, I think it was like probably the deepest conversation in 24 years we've ever had.
I don't really talk to her that much about my own problems.
And not, I mean, totally nice person.
I just always felt like she would never really understand because she seems so happy all the time, if I'm to be honest.
And I feel like I can, you know, when I have issues, they feel pretty deep when I'm, you know, so I don't open up very easily to people like that.
But anyway, the long and short is that in our conversation, and I'm still kind of confused with everything that was said, but what I know she said was.
I had been journaling quite a bit about this whole applying for this position and just really pouring my heart out.
And what I got from my journaling from what God was telling me was like, everything I have for you is on the other side.
And I felt like it was about moving to Carmel, you know, I really did.
And, but then he said this one thing in the journal where he said, this isn't the only way I can do this for you, Lisa.
And I kept journaling on because I kind of, I think I asked a really brief question and then I just went on and like bypassed it.
But it stuck with me because I was like, okay, am I on the wrong track here?
Like, you know, does he want to do something else?
And so I went back to it to find what it said.
And he said, no, Lisa, I gave those desires.
You know, I put those desires in your heart.
And so I don't know if it was just a side comment, God was saying like, Hey, there's other ways.
Or maybe for me just not to be so stuck on exactly how it might come about.
You know what I mean?
Because that's how God is, right?
He thinks life really doesn't ever go how we expect.
You know, you have this journey, you think it's going to go a certain way.
And then God's like, Oh no, I have this other thing.
Or there's a delay or, you know, but it's always for a reason.
So anyway, I guess I'm feeling more upbeat now than I'm saying this out loud.
Because I was really heavy.
Like I was crying about it.
an hour ago, you know, like, yeah, I was really like, I was
I was, yeah, I was getting ready to respond to a text message to
her. And it took me an hour just to try to figure out the thing
just because I wanted to address it a lot. But you know, really
just, I'm really just on a side note, but I feel like this is
important to bring up. I'm feeling really tortured with. I
have strived for so long. And I know that's not of God. Like I
have been striving since I was 15. Not living with my parents
my last years of high school, and then I got saved at 37. And
I'm 61 now. So that's like 24 years of doing life with God and
learning. But this is an area where like, I really realized
like, I just almost I'm not saying I don't know how I'm
having to learn how to not rely on myself. And I've come to so
many points with God, we're like, really, like in my
deepest, darkest times of like, I don't know where I'm going to
live tomorrow to I need a new car. I mean, we're talking
really desperate situations. When I called out to God, like
I'm not even joking, like within a week to 10 days every time,
and I have so many miracle stories, or he just pulled
through, like he's like, I mean, I mean, I can't even tell you
like cars have been given to me. Like it's not even like my
own pastor said, Lisa, I've never seen somebody more like
less than you, you know, and I'm no, he's no respecter of
persons. But I'm just saying like, in my desperateness, God
showed up. And I think I need to learn how to know that God's
going to show up when I'm not like, in a desperate situation.
You know what I'm saying? I feel like I have a lot of writing on
this, because honestly, this would be the most money I would
ever make in my life so far. And if I get this home
stewardship, you know, a position, and I just want to get
out of debt, I want to I don't have like a savings. I'm 61.
Like I don't have retirement, like I, I never worked for
corporations, because I had a bad experience as an 18 year
old. And I just said, I'm never working for a corporation. I
will never work for somebody who treats people like this. And I
based it on one time experience, you know, as immature, but I
won't carry on. I don't, you know, I know that God can redeem
the time. And I know, I can't look at our culture and think
like, Oh, I'm way behind, you know, because God can change
things like that. Totally. So I do have that belief, because I
also have the experience to, you know, so I'm like, Oh, yeah,
God, you did do those things, you know. So anyway, I won't
carry on. But that in a nutshell, is just kind of like,
it's the second guessing myself, you know, and then it brings me
down. I don't want to apply like that, like what you just said,
like, you know, how you're thinking about something, it's
how you put yourself out there. So if I'm like, Oh, am I doing
the right thing? Or, you know,
think about even as you were going, you know, you said, at
first, if I heard you, right, everything I have for you is on
the other side, you heard that from God, and then he's trying
to just say, Hey, this isn't the only way I can do this. You
know, I think there is this level of, you know, when you
talk about striving, you know, so many times when we have
partner with striving for a long time, even if we didn't mean to
or perfectionism, you know, we think it has to just happen a
certain way. You know, I think God is is trying to grow, you
know, you regarding, like, hey, like, I can show up for you in
multiple ways. Like I can, I can provide for you when you feel at
rest. And I can provide for you when you're doing things, you
know, where you're going to start to see more of that, those
different sides of the Lord. But also, um, you started saying
feeling tortured with and then you had a long pause. And then
you said, I have strived for so long. So were you saying that
you feel tortured still by that need to grind and strive? Is
that what you were? Okay.
I think I feel like I take things into my own hands. And
then I'm like, shoot, did I blow up? God? Did I did I even seek
you on that? Like, you know what I mean? Like, sometimes it'll be
like that. Because when you're desperate to make your bills
meet every month, you know, you'll do whatever it takes to
make that. I mean, at least that's what I do. Right. So I
and I'm like, God, oh, my gosh, like, for God, I mean, if I
belong, forgive me, like, I know God sees my heart, but I don't
want to repetitively be doing that.
So what I would encourage you to do, Lisa, I just keep hearing
the word rest and receive for you. And so I I'm a visual
person. So if this isn't something that would help you,
you can come up with a different idea. But I almost envision you
like drawing like, and it can be simple, okay, like a stick
figure.
Okay, but where you there's this kind of picture of you just receiving. So if it's a big gift in
the center of the picture that's open and there's a stick figure like buy it or just that you have a
visual just that helps you partner with even though you know God has provided for you on all
those different things. Okay, okay. I want the word rest to kind of be coming out of the gift box.
Okay, okay, because I think God is trying to teach you rest in the middle of this like what is it
look like in this next season that even as God is leading you into something new to believe that he
can do it in multiple ways including where what's the opposite of striving it's rest. Yeah, and it
Yeah, and it doesn't mean we're not doing anything. It means our heart posture sometimes we're not
doing something but it's it really has a lot to do with our heart posture. Orphans strive.
Yeah, that's been that's I don't want to admit it but that has been me.
Yeah, definitely. And even people that have great parents can partner with orphan mentalities
like I was saying even earlier a lot of different dynamics but you know again
where one child's sick and another isn't like that can all come up you know and really trigger
people to believe that they were like and they felt like an orphan. They felt like neglected
even though they knew their parents loved them but because the parents had to pay attention to
the other kids so much it can really create a lot of that and it can come from other things but
again that comes to mind. But I think as you partner with that rest and like really ask God
like what is resting in you in this season for me look like? Because resting you know six months
ago in the Lord might look different now. We need to remember that God is fluid okay like
he's always wanting to teach us something new. So even for me a couple months ago what did rest
look like? Well I'm different now. I'm in a different you know things are happening and
so anyways really praying into that and just see what he leads you into. We'll be praying for you
about this job as well. Yeah thank you. I did want to say one last quick thing that did come up for me
is that I think I really have this thing about if things don't work out it's my fault
and I can't I almost can't be with that and I think that's what causes me to strive so much
and I think the whole thing is if it doesn't work out I think it comes from my parents divorce. Like
I think I blamed myself for them not working out somehow. That's why for me. Have you ever
spent some time just really journaling around that and releasing yourself from that? No I think I
need to go deeper with the Lord because it came up when you were talking earlier before we went
out to the breakout rooms. I was like oh man I think this is because I almost feel completely
defeated over some stuff that's like little. Like I was trying to create a new gmail account for me
because I want all the correspondence to go to one account. I don't want to have to cipher through
all my other emails and I had plugged in my phone number too many times trying to set it up so
gmail said oh you can't get back in yeah and I'll have to wait 24 hours. I felt so defeated.
I was like are you kidding me? I can't even make progress now. It's bad. It's not horrible but
sounds like you already have insight into that so I would highly recommend spending some time
with that because it could lead other places too but it sounds like that's where you need to start
so there's really I mean you don't need to forgive yourself for your parents getting
divorced but what I would do is like forgive yourself for blaming yourself.
Yeah it's weird. I don't feel like I blame myself. I think it's very subconscious.
It's like me connecting the dots. Like you may not be like oh I blame myself I blame myself
but subconsciously you're taking that if we believe that anything that was not our fault
is our fault there's a level of blaming ourselves and taking responsibility on ourselves that was
never intended for us so that's why I'm saying it that way. Now you may not like have actually
said that but again if it's a subconscious thing in there then we have to we almost have to put
words to it in order to let it go like okay I come out of agreement with the lie that I had
some responsibility or you know that my parents you know got divorced whatever it is you believe
that's all I'm trying to say that you literally are saying okay I'm coming out of agreement with
this thought and start unpacking it that way and really ask the Lord to give you the truth in those
in those times and just yeah see where it leads you. I think that's a great another another great step.
Yeah. Okay. Thank you so much. Thank you. Kristen C.
Hi. I'm new to this. Welcome. Thank you. So one of the things I've just kind of been trying
to unpack is, uh, I, I'm coming out of performance based like love and thinking that I need to earn
love in my relationships. And I'm talking like even friendships basic. Um, and looking back
over my life, I have never even had a friendship that has lasted for like long periods of time.
My friendships have always been seasonal. Um, and I believe that's part of how God has worked
in some of those relationships. Um, but you know, since I've been unpacking some things,
I'm starting to wonder if there's more to that. Um, last week I was going through some of the
forgiveness prayer and spending time with the Lord. And I unexpected unexpectedly like realized
I needed to forgive the Lord. Like there was disappointment that I had been holding on to,
um, just in where my life is right now. And the dreams that I thought, um,
dreams that have laid down that I haven't, um, pursued, like it's been too hard to hold the hope
for some of those things. Um, and so just trying to kind of figure out how all of those things go
together. Well, number one, um, we might not get to all of them tonight because I really want to
just ask you a couple of questions and see if it comes up. If nothing comes up, that's fine.
So when you were talking about, you said, I, none of my friendships have ever been more than
just seasonal. The first question that came up in my mind was, um, sorry, I lost you on my screen.
Did you ever, when you were young, like have a friend that felt like a good friend that you
lost, whether they moved away, you moved away,
or something happened in that friendship that you can remember, like when you were younger?
No, what I can remember is feeling that my friendships were not always reciprocated.
Like I was more loyal to my friendships than I felt that they were loyal back.
And maybe that's part of the performance. Like I was looking for something from them, maybe.
Um, I mean, it could be possible. You might've even, I mean, kids that if you're, if we're
struggling in our home environment, we can even want stuff from our friends that they can't give
us same kind of thing. If we go into a relationship and we're not healed, we can go in wanting that
person to fill that. Right. Well, they can't ever fill the void that only God can fill.
Did your mom have good friendships in her life?
In her life? I don't, my mom has had very few friendships,
but they have lasted like her entire lifetime. Okay.
My relationship with my mom was, there was trust broken when I was young. And that's some
healing work that I have done previously. Okay. Tell me, can you give me an idea of what that
means for you? Yeah. So when I specifically remember a time when I was in fifth grade,
right. It was when I like first liked someone. Um, and I trusted her with that information and
her response was like teasing me about it and not, so I felt like
from that point on, she was not somebody I could go to and talk about those things,
like things of my heart with her. Okay. Do you have sisters? I have one sister. Okay. Did your
sister have good friends? Yes. And she has lifelong friends. Yep. Okay. And were you the younger,
the older sister? I was the older. Okay. All right. So tell me when you were younger,
when you said my friendships, you know, I felt like I was caring about them more,
like they weren't reciprocating. Tell me an example, like what's something that happened for
you when you were younger? Um, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't think I've
for you?
You know, like, I don't know, getting, just spending time,
like they would choose to spend time with other friends
and I'd find out that they had hung out together
and I had not been invited.
Or, you know, there was birthday parties
that I did not get invited to do.
Okay.
During, even though you've done work around this before,
during the heartwork, have you, let's just say,
whoever the first kid is that you thought was your friend,
but then didn't invite you to their birthday party,
have you forgiven them?
No.
Yeah, I think we have to start
all the way back there, Kristen.
Okay.
Because the reality is, you know,
some friendships are just going to be seasonal.
Okay.
Let's just say that's the reality of some friendships.
But somewhere along the way you partnered with
that you cannot have friends long-term,
that you're not capable of having them and keeping them,
or they don't love you the same way you love them,
which might be actually true.
You might've like, as a young kid, been a big giver
because of dynamics and things you learned.
And so as you heal, you know, you might realize like,
yeah, everybody doesn't give the same,
but that doesn't mean you're not capable
of having a friend that is going to be a really good friend
and that you can have for more than just a season.
But I really-
Go ahead.
As an adult now that I have other friendships,
I feel guilty sometimes that I,
I don't know how to articulate this well,
but like being able to express myself feels needy
and I don't want to be a needy friend
that I would be a burden to somebody.
And so I struggle with jealousy in that way sometimes,
even with adult friendships.
And I recognize that and I take those thoughts captive
because I know it's not true,
but like I have all this inner dialogue
that happens in my head about,
I want to connect with them,
but I don't want to seem like I'm needy
that I need to connect with them.
And so I just feel silly sometimes about it.
So let me ask you a question.
Why do you think it will be too needy to want to connect
and to actually admit that to yourself?
Is it because you have a pain and a wound
that you need them to help you process?
Or is it that you believe the lie
that it's not okay for you to actually want to connect
with a friend on a deeper level?
I want to connect with a friend at a deeper level.
I can go deep really fast,
but not everybody else is prepared for that.
And like-
But what does that mean to you?
When you say I can go deep really fast,
tell me what that means to you.
Like, I want to connect in a way that is spiritual,
is like a sisterly connection.
I want to be able to pray with people
and be vulnerable about things in my life
and allow them to do that for me
instead of all the just like surface conversation.
So part of the journey for you is going to be,
it doesn't mean you can't have those friends
or that there's not going to be those kinds of friends,
but this is going to probably show up
for you in dating as well.
Yep.
Okay, so all my ladies that you're like,
I don't like surface conversations,
tune in to what I'm saying right now.
Okay, here's the reality.
We have to learn the right times to release information
and the right pace to go at
and understand that some people
are going to come into our lives
for us to have a surface conversation with them
for a purpose.
And then other people,
we are going to be able to like share,
you know, a heart regarding the Lord and all that.
Now, if we, you know, go into a dating relationship,
or even a friendship,
this can happen with a friendship too.
If we're just feeling like we need to share our pain
or trauma, or even like we go through something hard at work
and we just kind of like,
and I'm not saying you're doing this,
but Christian, I'm just giving this as an example.
We just kind of like, blah,
throw up on them about what we're going through.
What can happen is we can trauma bond with people, okay?
And that's not healthy.
But then some people are so afraid of sharing anything
or admitting that they want connection
that they get into cycles like what you're talking about.
So are you and your sister close?
We're close in the fact that we get together a lot
and our family gets together,
but we don't share things of our heart very well.
That gets very awkward.
Okay, and you said your mom,
you couldn't trust her with your heart.
So there's two people in your life,
in your close proximity that you believed
you could not share the depths of your heart with.
All right, so forgiveness sheets.
Even though I'm not saying, your sister,
I don't know what the dynamics are.
Not that it was wrong for her to not go with you.
I think there is some forgiveness that needs to happen
regarding like forgiving your sister, forgiving your mom
and really releasing them from the expectation
of what that needs to look like, right?
Forgiving your mom for teasing you
when you did share your heart with her.
And then, like I said,
even though it seems like a simple thing,
I really do want you to forgive any kids
that didn't invite you to birthday parties
where you felt like, oh my gosh,
I thought they were my friend
and they kind of backstabbed me or left me out
or where you're just kind of working through those
and it might feel tedious,
but I think it's gonna be really important
for your healing journey, Kristen,
because what that's gonna do,
you have to think about it, ladies, from this perspective,
we gotta get to the foundation and heal the foundation.
And as we do that with the Lord,
all the other stuff will start to heal as well.
It really will.
And so that's why we wanna get to the root of the matter.
She learned at a young age
that connection wasn't actually safe with certain people,
especially people that were close to her.
And so what's happening from my perspective
is she believed the lie
that even if she wants to get close to people, she can't,
because she learned that with her mom
and she learned that with her sister.
And then there were probably other things
like with these friends, it was reinforced.
So the more she believed that lie,
the less she was able to actually attract friends
that are healthy and that can go to those places.
Do you see how that works?
So let us know, work on some of that.
Let us know how it goes.
If more stuff comes up,
you can come in the group and post about it.
Myself or the team will respond.
You can come back on next week or whatever is fine too.
All right, you did great.
Great job.
It's gonna be good.
Amy Groves.
Hi.
Hi, crap, I was hoping I wouldn't get picked actually.
Why?
Well, actually my son was just down here.
So I was like, oh, I'm gonna put my hand down.
Why?
Because it's my first time trying to do this with you.
That's all right.
I guess this was really good though.
Thank you everyone who shared before me.
I learned a lot.
There was a lot of things connecting.
I guess the question,
it's funny because this morning I pulled out this sheet.
So I just started section four.
Okay.
And there's a line in section four
that's talking about being,
it's under your God's dream.
It says, it doesn't matter what story
you have been told about how you were conceived.
And I had to stop because,
because I started to experience some feelings about that
because yeah, like this book is talking about me,
but I'm a parent of two children.
Both of them have separate fathers
and I've never been married.
And just to get to the quick of it,
I've told my children that they were conceived by mistake.
I haven't used those words.
Yeah.
But I've shared with them, like, don't do what mommy did.
The condoms were right on the night table.
It was a mistake and the reality was it wasn't a mistake and I had to get honest about that many years ago.
I knew I could get pregnant, but what happened this morning,
because of the work that I've been doing, I really had to tell myself the truth
that my children were planned and I was looking at their pictures
and so I didn't get to share that with anybody
because as I started this journey with the heart work in the beginning of January,
a lot in my life has changed and my distractions have become very much less.
I stopped going to church and stopped believing in God,
but I stopped going to small group and I stopped going to church.
And not only that, just to be fully transparent,
I've been clean almost 29 years in Narcotics Anonymous
and I made a conscious decision at the beginning of this year
to no longer advise an addict as a result of this program.
And that may sound crazy and I don't want to just dump,
but there's been a lot of healing that has happened through this heart work.
So, just having to really have the healing and the honesty
to extinguish the lie that my children were not planned
and that's been what I've told myself for 21 years that my children weren't planned
was a lie that they were planned and there was a reason they were conceived.
So, it's just dismantling all these things attached to men.
I haven't dated in seven years, I guess.
I'm scared to death to date.
And I will say one more thing that I met a guy at the haircuttery last night.
He's 34. I'm about to turn 50.
And what we're talking about tonight, he said I was beautiful.
These things are foreign to me.
So, I haven't raised my hand and I don't even know if I need feedback,
but ladies, this is remarkable healing that is happening in my life.
And I just keep showing up and making a priority in person in my group.
I've really just had to get rid of, I say that prayer every time,
every day when I wake up and I say, this is my time.
And I ask Father God and I just read that prayer,
my declaration prayer or promise or whatever it is in the very beginning.
And I have to say no to things that distract me
and take me away from just focusing on me.
So, anyway, that was a lot.
And my son was just down here.
And I really want to sit my kids down eventually and tell them,
I lied to you.
One of the things I want to help you with though,
I think what you can communicate is I'm realizing
that the way I said that could have been hurtful.
Because you were trying to communicate to them
that you want them to have sex inside of the safety of covenant.
So, I don't fully think what you were trying to,
based off of what I've heard you say,
that you were trying to communicate something that was a lie,
but how we convey something to someone
can come out in a way that we didn't intend.
And I think that's what I would own,
based off of what you're telling me.
I would own that maybe I communicated in a way,
as I've been thinking about it,
and be careful to not just put that on them.
I would ask them.
You can say, as I've been praying about this and processing it,
I'm really thinking that what I said could have been very hurtful.
And I want you to know that God planned you.
Whatever you feel about the fact
that what God is showing you about them,
and sharing that with them,
and see how they feel about it.
Because then you're going to really be able to process with them
and help them even learn heart work.
Because I tell people all the time,
we can teach our kids as we're healing on their level.
But be careful to feel like you have to.
Sometimes what can happen is we'll do a pendulum swing.
right? When we realize something like, like, I need that wasn't great. So I need to fix that.
And then we swing too far and try to and it's like an overcorrection that's too big. Yeah.
So just as you're really pray, I would write it out even just to help yourself process like,
what would really be a healthy thing to say to them? Because you still want them to understand
that you, I think, believe I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, believe in sex inside of a
covenant marriage, and that that's what you're looking for in the future. And that's what you
hope they would look for. Again, I'm not putting words in your mouth. But if that is the case,
you know, depending on their age, how old are your kids?
21 and 15. Okay, so they can totally they get it. You can have those full conversations. And
you know that that's what you want for them. And just, you know, really own that, you know,
I've realized the way I said that it really could have been hurtful.
And start there. And let's see where the Lord leads you with that. And I appreciate everything
that you shared. I did want to ask you, just so that I can understand. So when you said you
stopped going to church and stopped going to small group, can you tell me more about that?
Did you feel like things were being communicated there that weren't healthy? Was? Did you feel
like for some reason, church was a distraction? So help me understand more of that context,
just so I can support you more in that. So honestly, on November 3, November 30 2025.
I read john 15. Yeah, read it before many, many, many, many times over the 20.
Five years, I've been Christian.
And it hit different. And I the way I read it, I recognize that I thought God,
Jesus was conditionally loving. Because I'm what if I don't abide in you, I get lopped off. I read
it differently than I've ever read it before. Without my permission. I read it. And on November
30. Something changed. And I don't think it was spiritual. Like it wasn't Satan. I think it's God.
I think it's God. And I think it's drawing me closer to my authentic self and who I really
am and coming out of hiding. And I think it's great that I'm in chapter four,
or section four. But what had happened was a flame went out in me. I couldn't stand the
word Jesus for a few months. I got honest that I don't think that Jesus is the only way to heaven.
And I don't know if I believe in hell. And I was like, Oh, my God. I can't think these things.
I can't say these things. I can't do this. This should not be what I'm thinking. But it was.
So and that led you to a quick one to your church.
So January, I bought this program back in November. Yeah. January, I decided to commit
to doing this program. Okay. And why I stopped going to church was I was like, you know what?
I think I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna slow down.
And I'm just gonna, I'm gonna really get to, I'm gonna find out what I really believe.
Not what I think I should believe and what I've been taught to believe.
What do I really believe? Because I love people. And God is love.
And I so it's been a journey. And so that's why I stopped going to church. I actually went back
this week. I've been back. I've been back. Okay. Well, the reason I'm spending a little time with
you on it is that there are times where people will realize the church that they're in that
there is a lot of religiousness to it. Okay. And they might feel led to make a change. We really
recommend for people to, it sounds like you made that change before you came into the heartwork.
But just for anybody listening, we would really recommend people not make big changes in their
life, like moves, jobs, changing churches until you're all the way done with the heartwork.
Because what happens when we're in the heartwork is all kinds of stuff is getting stirred up all
over the place. And so there is kind of a recalibration, if you will. And so you already,
it sounds like chose that before you came into the heartwork. And it sounds like God is kind of
helping you kind of resettle. But what I wanted to make sure wasn't happening is that sometimes,
again, in our over
or correction, we can just start hacking things off from our lives, right?
And I'm not saying God isn't big enough to handle that.
Um, he is, and I know that he can lead you into everything he has for you.
Um, we don't have to go into, I'm really glad that you shared number
one, openly and transparently.
I think that's awesome.
Um, one thing that I think is important is that if we look at scripture,
scripture does say that Jesus is the only way to heaven.
And so we can rely on what scripture says regarding that.
So I'd encourage you, um, as you're seeking the Lord about these things to
really look into what scripture says about that, okay.
Um, because I just want to make sure as you're in kind of this healing
phase, that the enemy doesn't lead you away from the truth in that area.
So, um, but I think you're doing great and I love everything that you shared
and I'm excited to hear how the conversations go with your kids.
Um, this is huge stuff that you're processing and I'm, I'm glad that
you're feeling excited about life.
And you know, you're not, you know, we, none of us, I don't think ever want to
get into the monotonous of life where we just feel like we're just every day we
wake up and do the same thing or feel the same thing or think it's the same thing.
So the awakening is happening.
Keep us posted on that.
And, uh, we can celebrate you with you after you've had those conversations.
Okay.
Awesome.
Thank you so much for sharing again.
And ladies don't feel like, um, if you share something, you know, like that
on that one, I am going to lovingly just direct you in that because I know what
the tree says about it and I, it would not be good for me to not mention that,
but I don't ever want anyone to get afraid of mentioning this stuff because
while we are, we run a business, you know, we are a ministry and we want to
point people to the truth for sure.
So love you.
So glad that you're here.
And I'm so glad that you shared that tonight, Teresa, go ahead.
My destiny.
Okay.
So, um, I joined this program last fall and really have struggled to step into
it and just surrendered the white flag the last couple of weeks and who, um,
one thing earlier today, as I leaned into what God was speaking, I realized
I have this deep desire to be married, but I have a deep fear of dating.
And, um, he gently led me through, um, what I felt like just a realization
that I have a fear of, uh, that's related to trust of men, uh, to be
close to me in an intimate way because people I love have either abused me
sexually beat, whatever that about every type of abuse there could be.
And I couldn't think of a single man in my life that hasn't either
abused me or deeply, um, betrayed me.
And, um, I was married for 26 years to a man who wouldn't barely would
touch me, um, and there was a whole lot to that.
Um, so I just have such a, there's a lot that I need to heal, even though
I've done, I'm part of a healing team.
I'm part of a healing ministry.
And yet this piece, this, this intimate with the husband thing, getting that
right, I'm just surrendering to God to, to break some of these lies.
But the biggest one today I realized was I didn't know how much, um, I didn't
think, uh, there's this lie I've been believing that I cannot trust a man to
be close to me in an intimate way, brotherly love got a lot of brothers,
but to allow someone to be close enough that I could be deeply
hurt again, that's my struggle.
Yeah, man, love is a risk, right?
Yeah.
And, you know, just to encourage you in my first marriage, you know, that
is kind of how it was very similar.
Um, and I am learning, there's just so much, so much goodness when a guy is
healthy and, um, they understand and reciprocating love and, and not just.
and sex, but like intimacy in all things, you know, yeah. And
so God has that for you. But I am really grateful that you are
seeing and recognizing not just the aspect of because you it was
kind of two layered their fear about men being close to you.
But then you said I cannot trust that if I let a man close that
he won't hurt me. So there's two layers there. Yeah. As you're
working through this, you know, really continue to ask the Lord
to come into the place. I mean, I would even encourage you to
ask God to show you where you like Jesus, where were you when
my husband was neglecting me in this way? And what do you want
to tell me about it? Like where you hear Jesus's voice about
that situation, because that's where some of the promise of
what's to come for you is going to come out of as well. You
know, the healing from that is going to fuel the truth of what
you believe in the future. You know, it's not it to me, it is
different. But like even women that when when we've had sex
outside of marriage, and, you know, we have relationship, you
know, really believing that God has somebody that is willing to
fight for that covenant with us can be a struggle, right?
Because we haven't known that in the past. But God wants to show
us the fullness of His promise in every area of our lives. God
never intended for your marriage to have such a lack of intimacy
and connection, and for you to be neglected and really abused
in that way. Because withholding love is a form of abuse. And so
really want to encourage you this week. Again, even if
you've already forgiven your ex, I would even say it wouldn't
hurt to do another forgiveness prayer sheet. And even Teresa,
what's coming up? I don't know if you've ever done this. It's
not your fault that that happened. But on some level, at
least from my experience, I had to forgive myself for staying.
Like my marriage, I was married to my ex for 12 years. And it
was 12 years too long. But I was so afraid of getting divorced
and being like, because I didn't believe in divorce. And I was
trying to make it work. But in those last few years, man, there
were some really scary stuff going on. And I just kept trying
to stay. So I had to forgive myself for some things and like
putting myself at risk in danger to try to stay. Now, you may not
have to but I just you know, like I said, sometimes even us
forgiving ourselves for being, you know, in those situations is
a huge part of things even though it was good that we were
fighting for marriage. Does that make sense?
Oh, yeah. And I volley between two I volley I go back and forth
between Lord forgive me for staying Lord forgive me for
getting a divorce because I'm the same. I didn't believe in
divorce. That's why I stayed and I felt the Lord's at times say
stay. And then I also felt him say, you're no longer safe. You
got to get out. Yeah. Yeah. I just I still struggle. I still
struggle with that. Like, I
believe that God rescued you. Yeah. Okay. So then when I what
I want to encourage you to do is just keep partnering with that.
Yeah, that's good. Part of it. Interestingly enough, I was
watching something today as I was resting and and being sick. And
this one scene was this, it was all about letting go. And they
were like, it's just time to let it go. I do think, you know,
sometimes we can process things so much and so much and so much.
And sometimes it's just that time, we've just got to let it
go and give ourselves permission to move forward. And I feel like
that might be the case for you. Like God protected you God, you
know, sustained you. And it sounds like he rescued you and
he has, you know, really beautiful things for you. And so
allowing yourself to just, you know, walk in that grace and
that truth in this next season is going to be a really good
thing. And so I'm excited for you. I'm excited to hear how
this goes. Way to go on jumping in and starting, you know, the
last few weeks to really get in there. Surrender. Keep us posted
on how this goes. Okay.
I will. Thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome. My pleasure. Jennifer, go ahead.
Hi. Hi. Um, so I will try to keep this brief. I'm in week
five now. And there was some things coming up.
that I found a bit strange, but then I'm wondering if it's tied into some of the
things we've discussed in the past, like with the orphan mentality and coming out of alignment with
that, as I'm working toward completing week five and getting ready to go into phase two,
where I can relate to some of the things that have been shared, like the idea of dating,
not really dating at all, and then like the fear of physical intimacy and learning to be
comfortable with that, and then I was working through a journal prompt today about
the idea of dating, and it's a Christian-based journal concerning dating, and
something that struck me when I was reading through it and working through the prompt was
the sentence of, just because I've experienced rejection in the past doesn't mean I'm
unlovable, and I was wondering if, like starting to reflect on that, like I've never thought that
I was unlovable, but with what we've worked on with the past, with the orphan mentality,
if that is something that I maybe believed that I didn't realize I believed and how,
and that's also tied to why like the idea of dating and learning to
become gradually physically intimate with someone is the scary part of it.
Well, yeah, I think, number one, yes, I think 100%. If we go through rejection, we can partner with
I'm not lovable, and it can, what comes to mind, Jennifer, is the same way that we can fantasize
about something in a positive way. We can start to have, like if we are someone that is super creative
and we have an imagination, our minds can really run away with us. Yeah, I know that you are,
and so when I say fantasize, I don't want it to have this really negative connotation about it,
but some people can really like fantasize sexuality stuff. That's not what I'm talking about.
Like, for example, when I met my girl's dad, he had a nice house and a decent house,
way nicer than I had ever lived in as far as like, you know, with my ex and everything,
and so I just started fantasizing about like, oh, what kind of life we were going to have, and
all this stuff in my mind just ran away with me. Now, he did have that house, but that house was,
he was way in upside down in it and all kinds of things, but I fantasized who he was, and I had
this whole idea of it, right? But on the flip side, the reason I'm using that as an example is
I think we can also fantasize about negative things. So, like all the things we're afraid
are going to happen when we try to be intimate, all the things that are not going to go well,
you know, how am I going to feel about my body? It's going to be this, it's going to be this,
all these what ifs, it's really anxiousness and fear, but it partners and then our minds go down
fantasy lane of all the things we're going to experience or potential experience, and
am I even going to be lovable? Are they going to want to be with me? You know, like,
and so if your mind is going on those trails, remember, you want to kind of get back, where
did it start? Did it start with, I don't believe I'm lovable, or did it start with, I don't like my
body? You know, and maybe both, but where you're really getting to the root of like, what's causing
that, I don't want to say trickle effect, but that momentum to happen, where now you're afraid
to date because you're afraid if you date, then if you'd like someone, then you're going to have
to figure out how to be close to them. And, you know, and if that is somewhere our mind goes a
lot, what can happen? And this was the thing I almost forgot to say is this was, I heard the
Lord say it can create barriers, barriers to a lot of things, including forward motion. Okay.
Self-sabotage. Which I have dealt with and partly procrastinated in phase one.
And I talked to a lot of ladies in here about that. Like when people get to almost to the
finish line of phase, some people, you know, they fly through, they're like, we can't even keep them
here long enough to do their hard work. And then I have other people that they get towards the end
and they're terrified of dating, or they're not ready to forgive somebody, or there's several
different things, but those are a lot of the big things why people will then just start,
like they'll just quit doing the program. Or they'll take a really long time, or they'll,
you know, like partner with, I can't date, or I don't know how to date, or I'm not ready to date.
Here's the reality.
Ladies, I want to just debunk all this, okay?
We do issue a dating challenge in phase two when you get there.
But if you don't feel led to do it right now, you don't have to do it.
Now some of you need to when you get there because you've been
partnering with FEAR for so long that you're learning that as a place of
habitation.
Right? Think about, um, that's kind of an
interesting revelation I just had. If you think about a jacket that you put
on, we're just going to call the jacket
tonight FEAR. If you were putting that on, we're
walking around in it, it's feeling kind of cozy, isn't it? A lot
of times we're walking around, we get used to something we're wearing,
right? So then to take it off again feels really
different, right? Some of what you're doing,
Jennifer, is you're learning how to not have the FEAR jacket on anymore.
You're learning how to, like, step into the blessing of what God has for you.
But you have to keep partnering with the truth of
the good side of things to come for you.
But you really struggle to believe that anyone's going to pick you.
Yes, that is true. And because you struggle with that,
it's hindering you and some of these other things.
Right, okay. So I encourage you, you are not going to stay here.
You are lovable, I can tell you that. But it's whether or not you believe it
and get to the core of, you know, okay, I'm going to stop partnering with the
lie that I'm not lovable. I'm going to stop partnering with the lie that I
can't be chosen. I'm going to stop partnering with the lie that
I'm not going to be able to finish this course or, you know, whatever it is.
And again, just very similar to Teresa, I feel this level of giving yourself
permission to not stay bound to this thing anymore.
And I don't want to be, I feel like I've been wrestling with that for a while.
And it's that wrestle of, because I feel the word
alignment has been coming up so much this year.
Like I hear the word alignment, like I've never heard the word alignment so
much in my life, I feel like. So making that into a prayer point of
praying to come more into alignment, how God sees me, his will for me, and praying
to come out of alignment with lies that I've always believed.
That's something that I've been, that I have been wrestling with.
Yeah, yeah. And I know you've been doing a really good job.
Okay, so this isn't like, and anything you ladies understand,
I know this isn't like we don't, even my own things.
It's, I want to move forward. I 100% want to do some of the things I
haven't done yet. But it's just like what even Jackie said
in the call on Saturday. You know, sometimes she would even sit
down to work on the book that's now published
and not like things that were written and just
second guess at second. And now that it's finally out, she's like, oh my gosh, I
think this is actually one of my best books.
But like we all face these kind of things, right?
But it's what are we going to do to get past that? For me,
what God at least keeps saying to me is it goes back to my
inner belief about myself.
So that's why I'm saying to you, it goes back to your inner belief.
Do I believe that I am lovable? Not just in my head, but in my heart.
Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna be praying for you.
Continue to kind of pray into that. Keep moving forward. Even remember,
even if it's one step every day, keep moving forward.
And again, phase two, ladies, there's great content in there. There's stuff
that's going to help you learn just even what is divine feminine.
Like it's not like everything is all about dating. But
I mean, it is. There's going to be stuff in there for that. But
don't partner with being intimidated to go into there. We have great coaches in
there. You're going to love them. And then what happens is people get in
there and they don't want to move to phase three. We're finding.
You know, we're just trying to help you all move forward in life.
And it's not about you have to achieve a certain thing
in order to move, you know, necessarily from face to face.
So thank you for sharing that. Appreciate you.
Praying for you. So Rebecca asked a question in the chat.
Rebecca, I'm actually not going to go into that tonight because heart work, we're not focusing on dating.
And so, dating questions, we save for phase two.
And so, after people finish the heart work, those are absolutely questions that can be answered in there.
But thank you so much for asking it.
And ladies, I'm going to go ahead and pray because I just, I can feel myself starting to lose some energy.
And we are at 950 as well.
So, Father, thank you for this amazing night.
Thank you for everything you've done.
Thank you for more revealings for healing that are happening, going to happen.
God, we thank you for physical healing as well.
We thank you, God, for healing our emotions, our minds.
God, that you go into the recesses, God, where there's orphan mentalities, limiting belief systems,
even lies that we believe regarding being unlovable or unwanted or whatever that is.
God, we thank you for healing the core of us.
Help us to partner with your truth more and more and more in the days to come.
Give us Sela rest tonight in Jesus name.
Amen.
God bless you, ladies.
I'll see you all in the group.
Have a good night, everyone.
Bye-bye.