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Hello, welcome. Happy Memorial Day or hope you had a blessed Memorial Day. If you are

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someone that is in the service, people don't typically say happy Memorial Day and things

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like that. So I always try to keep that in mind, but so glad to see you all. We might

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have a decent crowd. We might have a small crowd. I'm not sure, but we're going to be

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here together. It's going to be great. I'm going to ask you all to bear with me. So I've

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been really sick all day. So I pulled myself together. So if I have to take more breaks

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throughout, I apologize. So it's going to be great though. I'm expecting God to do something

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really awesome. And we're going to go through the revealing for healing cycle tonight. And

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I know a lot of people have had questions about how to process their, you know, healing

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and how to unpack just the different phases of this process. So with that being said,

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some of our like housekeeping stuff for tonight, just a normal reminder for those of you that

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are brand new, or maybe you've just been here a few weeks, you wouldn't have maybe heard

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this yet, but our best practice is for you to press pause. I know that one of the big

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questions that has come up is as Jackie's launching the Modern Dating Sucks book club,

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we are saying yes, you all can do that. But with the caution of that, you guys, you all

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ladies will not get sidetracked those of you that are in phase one, okay, the heartwork

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that you won't lose sight of the fact that your your main focus right now is heart healing

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and getting into that place and not thinking about boys and men too much. So if you can

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do that, I think that would be great. And just want to make sure y'all don't get off

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track. But want to bless you in that if you do feel led to do that. I know that I have

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some ladies that are in other phases tonight here as well as a couple of faces from ladies

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that have been through the hard work and finished it. So welcome all of you. If you're brand

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new and you've never been here before, we'd love for you to put that in the chat for us

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so that we can welcome you. Anyone brand new tonight you've never been on one of our live

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sessions? Maybe not. All right, well, welcome back, everyone. Our next housekeeping is just

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taking extra time to rest, which is kind of ironic since that is all I did today. And I

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was just thinking about this. Before I got on the session tonight is that sometimes the

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way that we rest and slow down, unfortunately, for some of us is when we aren't feeling great.

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Emily, welcome for your first time. So glad to have you here with us. So either way, though,

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make sure that you're taking time to rest. So what I mean by that, the reason I wrote that

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in my notes wasn't necessarily just to sleep, but we do need extra sleep. When we're processing

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healing things. As things are coming up, if you're just joining us, I'm sorry, I'm sniffly

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and all kinds of things tonight. So it's going to be a bumpy ride. I haven't been feeling

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well, but I did not want to cancel our session tonight because we are talking about the

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revealing for healing cycle. And it's so important to this process. But what I was talking

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about is God has just been really speaking to me about Sabbath and how important taking

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Sabbath is. And it doesn't necessarily I know a lot of people think it's only Sunday. But

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what's interesting is church ministry people work every Sunday. So if that was the case, we

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would never take a Sabbath, right? And so Sabbath really is when is God asking you to come

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away with him and take some time, you know, in your regular schedule to press pause to seek

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him and spend time with him. Alright, so Supernatural Saturday, y'all. I was getting

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massive revelation listening to that. I hope that you did too. If you haven't listened to it

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yet, highly recommend it. You've got a friend in him. Just some really cool revelations being

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shared and just a lot for us to think about and consider as we're moving forward. What is

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God calling us out of? Where is God leading us into when we feel like the struggle or the

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path is hard? The reality that God helps us on the way? Pretty awesome. So check that out. I

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think it'll really, really bless you. All right, let me pray for us. And we'll jump right in.

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Father, thank you so much for this night. We thank you for everything that you're doing in our

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lives. We thank you, God, for these amazing women. We thank you for the plans and the

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promises that you have for them. All that you're doing, all that you're weaving in and out of

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their lives. God, we know that you just, Lord, they're so special to you. I pray that you would

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remove any chaff, remove any distractions, any weight that so easily ensnares them. God, so

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that they can press on toward the high calling of God for their lives, that they can step into

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the fullness of who you are.

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originally created them to be.

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Yes, Lord, I pray that you would just reveal scales or remove,

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excuse me, scales from their eyes to reveal their true

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identity a little bit more tonight. We're asking for

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revealings for healing to happen that are supernatural God that

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you are the great dot connector. Nothing is too hard for you.

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Even things that we don't know exist in our subconscious still

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that are hindering us or holding us back. God, I thank you that,

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you know, in the right moment at the right time, those things are

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percolating to the surface. I pray that you would give every

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woman that's here live tonight, those that are going to watch

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the replay. God give them supernatural revelation and

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understanding and insight so that they can comprehend what

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we're talking about, that they can apply it to their own

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stories, that even examples that are given God that it's not just

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about my life. It's about how can that like, how can they

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relate that and translate that to their life so that they can

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receive revelation. So God, we just thank you that you're doing

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it all.

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Yes, Lord, even right now, I just surrender all of this to

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you. So many times, Lord, I just always remember before I jump on

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that, even as a coach and a leader and a servant for you,

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God, I can't do anything apart from you. And I'm reminded of

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that so much more when I'm not feeling well, but the truth

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always remains God that you are the Savior that you are the one

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that sets them free. God, I thank you that I can just be a

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vessel for you to work through. I thank you God that they would

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hear everything you need them to hear tonight. In Jesus name.

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Amen. God bless you. Welcome. I see some more ladies have

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joined again, if you're just joining, I apologize, I'm gonna

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have to take a lot of pauses probably throughout tonight. I

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feel out of breath, but I'm actually just sick. But we're

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gonna be here together and it's gonna be good and fun. And I

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hope that you could still feel my energy coming through because

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that's what I prayed for. So tonight as we talk about the

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revealing for healing cycle, it's so important for y'all to

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remember this core principle. You can't replace the events in

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your life that have happened. Okay, we can't go back and

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change those things. That'd be really cool if we could

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sometimes right in our heads, at least we think that but we can

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we can replace the lies that we believed as a result of these

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events. Now these could be things that we've done, they

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could be things that other people have done to us, they

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could be just things that happen like an accident. I can't tell

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you how many times accident stuff has come up in

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conversations lately, how many people have been traumatized

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because of accidents they've been through so many people that

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don't even drive because of it. And some people that's how the

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enemy tries to kind of follow them and hinder them. My

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spiritual daughter, my oldest spiritual daughter, I mean,

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she's only gonna be 22 year old. And I mean, the number of

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accidents she's been in is like for her age, it's like, kind of

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mind boggling. And so I'm just always praying for a hedge of

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protection around her because I can see the enemy trying to

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hinder her because of this. It's like she never feels safe, or

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protected. And she's been hit a lot. I think once or twice, it's

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been her fault. So interestingly enough, I don't know if that

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resonates for anyone. But even things like that, that we might

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not consider or think about can cause trauma, and cause us to

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believe lies that we hold on to and that get into our

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subconscious, and then they start to invade every other area

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of our lives. And so I'm going to show you the revealing for

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healing cycle. If you're not familiar with it, this is in

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week three, if you're brand new, it's okay. If you're not in week

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three yet don't check out because this is going to help

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you learn about it more so that as you get there, you'll know

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even more how to apply it. For those of you that are already

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past it, don't worry about it. Again, this is all we trust

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God's perfect timing of when you came in and when you see this

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session. All right, give me one sec. All right. Can you all see

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that on the screen there? Okay, cool. Yes. All right. Perfect.

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Thank you, Catherine. Let me just move it over just because I

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have something else that's popping up there. Alright, so

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this is just the way I like to coach this again, if somebody

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else was leading this session, they might do it similar or a

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little different. But the core concepts are the same. This is

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how I interpreted it and started applying it for my life. We

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always recommend for y'all to start as much as you can now

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remember this too. This isn't about perfect. Okay, this isn't

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so much like this is the only way that you can do this for

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this to work. That's not what we're saying. But typically, if

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you have a negative emotion, we would say that that is one of

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the first places to start. So we would recommend you to start in

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this in the pink. But as you can see, there's arrows all

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throughout this. So if you know your trauma,

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story, but you're like, I don't know what my emotions are, because some people

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shove their emotions down so much that they've been suppressed for so long that they don't

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cry anymore. They don't even know what their emotions are. So it's very, it can be very

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difficult for them to identify their emotions. And so then they feel tend to feel a little

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overwhelmed with this. Well, you most likely know what your trauma stories or your painful

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memories are. Okay, and I'll walk through those in a minute. But as you think about

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negative emotions, I'm going to give you a couple examples tonight. Again, yours could

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be totally different. But even in the accident thing, I feel like the fear, I'm going to

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bring up fear tonight, in general, fear can happen in a lot of different ways, you know,

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so whatever happened in your life to cause fear, if you've ever felt fear, that you would

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just start to recognize, okay, yeah, I remember feeling fear in this situation, or this situation,

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the one that I'm going to go further into tonight is not just fear in general, it's fear

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regarding men, fear around men fear regarding men. And so my negative emotion wasn't just

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fear by itself. It was that I was very, very afraid of the dark growing up, I had a lot of

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fear around men, I had a lot of fear and insecurity regarding my body. Like there was just a lot of

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layers. But tonight, I'm going to talk about fear around men. Number two, painful memory.

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So sorry, y'all. So the way I like to, like, because a lot of people will be like, what's

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the difference between a painful memory and a trauma story? The way I like to describe it is

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like, the painful memory is kind of like an umbrella, okay, like the top of the umbrella,

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and the trauma story is kind of like the spokes up under the umbrella that make it kind of spread

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out if you think about it. So for me, painful memory is kind of like the overarching theme,

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abused by men. So that was kind of the overarching concept. And that is my painful memory. Now,

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I have several trauma stories associated to that specific painful memory. For example,

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these are more specific. Sexually abused by my brothers and my sister when I was younger.

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Emotional mental spiritual abuse by my ex-husband. And the sexual abuse with him was more in regards

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to he withheld intimacy and sex as a control. He used my, the stuff I went through with my brothers

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against me kind of saying like, he couldn't touch me, he was afraid to touch me. It was like this

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really kind of messed up dynamic. So while he didn't, you know, per se sexually abused me,

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there was just a lot of things that cause a lot more sexual trauma. And that was connected to my

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ex-husband. Additional trauma stories that also came up in my process of healing that were

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connected to this. There was this time when I was younger, my mom took us to this house party

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back in the day when there was home interiors and a lot of people would go from house to house. And

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I just remember we went to this house and all the kids were sent upstairs.

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And I don't even know how or why, but there were multiple rooms upstairs and there was this one boy

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in particular that just was like everything he could do to get me by myself to the point that

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all the other kids were in another room and I ended up locked in this room. He pushed a dresser

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in front of the door to get me to be in this room by myself. My sister literally was like shoving

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the door down. And so I don't really remember anything else. My sister got me out of there,

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thankfully, but I just remember that happening. And then in high school,

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someone that called herself my friend and said she was just messing around, put something down

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my shirt, shoved me in the bathroom and then told one of the boys that we hung out with to come in

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and get it kind of thing. And so he thought it was all game. I think he thought I thought it was a

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game and I totally did it. And so that embarrassed me, traumatized me again. It was a whole thing.

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And so again, ladies, the reason I'm sharing these is, is there all these different aspects

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and layers when these things were happening that I believe the lie that men are like, I have to

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be afraid of men. I can't be safer on boys either. Not just men, boys, young men. And so that got

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reinforced and reinforced and reinforced by the enemy. And so the lies believed were starting

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to get revealed. These are just two of them tonight. All in.

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men, all men and boys are abusive. I need to be afraid of

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men, which is what I was just talking about. And so that's

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where we go through, we start to see what these lies are. And

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again, there were a lot others, but those are the two I'm

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sharing in this regard tonight. And then we want to take you

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guys, a lot of people will come where they recognize the lies,

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but they don't go all the way through to God revealing the

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truth. That's such an important part of this process, ladies.

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And so I'm going to share a couple of my truths with you

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that God gave me. And then again, you're going to want to

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seek the Lord for yours. And if you're not really quite sure how

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to get there, you can come into the group. And we can help you

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process that to get there. You can look up scriptures online

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that just are the opposite. So you know, the opposite of fear

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is faith. It's also love. Remember love, love, perfect

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love casts out all fear, because fear has to do with

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torment. Sorry, I'm gonna have to take a drink. We'll get there,

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ladies, we'll get there. So just you're going to look for the

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opposite so that you can lean into that truth and partner with

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it. So for example, I write, I like to write a declaration

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first. So for number one, all men are abusive. The opposite of

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that is I don't have to fear or be afraid. Okay, that was what I

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wrote over myself. And I don't know if any of you all remember

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the story I used to when I was afraid of the dark, I literally

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over and over and over would declare myself I bet my last

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name was Stanko at the time. I Bethany Stanko don't have a

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spirit of fear, but a spirit, a spirit of love and of power in a

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sound mind. And when I would feel that that need to run up

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the stairs, because that's what would happen for whatever

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reason, when I was afraid of the dark, I would resist that

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that desire to run like I would resist that and walk slow

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intentionally, because it was reminding me that I didn't need

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to give into the flesh, I didn't need to give into the fear. And

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so I really had to talk that stuff out. But then I get a

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scripture or two to go with it. So Isaiah 4110. I'm going to go

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off screen share screen share so I can see you all too. All

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right, awesome. So the scriptures with I don't have to

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fear or be afraid. Isaiah 4110. So do not fear for I'm with you

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do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and

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help you I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah

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4113 says for I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right

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hand and says to you do not fear I will help you. Here's

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another one of my opposites. So I need to be afraid of men. The

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truth is I can trust God to protect me. Isaiah 121 seven

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through eight, the Lord will keep you from all harm. He will

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watch over your life the Lord will watch over your coming and

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you're going both now and forever more. A lot of

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kickback I get on that is well, where was God when these things

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happened? Right? It's the truth. A lot of people I had to wrestle

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with that. And you all I think there's goodness in the in the

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wrestling in those things. God wants to hear what you think. He

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already knows it. So why not just have that conversation with

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him. And what I want you to understand is that God in his

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immense love for all of us gave us free will. Every person has

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free will to choose. We have free will. And sometimes we

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don't choose right. And sometimes our choices have hurt

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people. But see, we weigh we weigh sin, don't we? We say what

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someone else did is worse than what we did. And we become the

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judge and the ruler. But that's not what God's asked us to do.

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He's the judge, there's one judge. And so what I for me,

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again, you're gonna have to go through your own process. A

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couple things that really helped me was understanding that

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everybody had free will. And, you know, unfortunately, my

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brothers chose really bad, and so did my sister. And one thing

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that I also remember very vividly was the first time God

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started showing me that he was with me in those situations and

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ways that he even like stuff would happen that would cause,

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you know, the abuse to stop in that time. And like someone

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randomly showing up at the door or just things like that, that I

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just see more of that side of it now as well. And so I'm really

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pray and ask God to give you revelation of where he was when

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that hard thing happened, and allow him to show it to you. And

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if you're willing

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and able to go there. I believe that you're going to be set free from a lot more of this stuff,

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the lies where the enemy has told you that God was never there with you. And if God loved you,

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he would have protected you. He wouldn't have even allowed that thing to happen.

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Well, the Bible says that trials and tribulation are going to come. Why? Because there's a devil.

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The devil is the one that comes to seek, kill, and destroy. God is the one that comes. Jesus

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Christ came to give us life and give it to us more abundantly. He came to free us from the curse.

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And so we can walk in that freedom. We can apply the blood of Jesus Christ to our lives,

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and we can be set free. Rosanne, let's see, what was the scripture in Isaiah? There were two. The

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first one was Isaiah 41, 10, and then Isaiah 41, 13. You can probably read 12 as well, but for

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whatever reason, I only wrote, I guess it would be 11 and 12. I just wrote verse 10 and 13 there.

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But yeah, really seeking God about your verse. What is God speaking to you about his protection,

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about his love, about his provision, or whatever that is that you need to hear?

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All right, let's start talking about the heart is the womb. So we've been laying this groundwork

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for the last few weeks. Remember, whatever goes into our heart is going to get reproduced.

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So that's why we've been working on even asking God to change the way we see other people and

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other situations. But first, before we even did that last week, what did we do the week before?

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We're trying to clear out the negative stuff, aren't we?

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Surrender came before that. That's why we try to work in a process here,

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because what we have to remember is anything that is in there is going to get reproduced.

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Y'all, I cannot tell you how many times I've had conversations,

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even with my own self, about what we believe we become. Whatever's in our heart is going to,

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out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. We act or don't act out of what we believe about

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ourselves. So if you're showing up in a conversation and you actually believe that

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that person rejects you or doesn't like you before you even show up in the conversation,

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well, guess what? You're going to show up way differently than if you believed that you're loved,

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that you're protected, that you're a likable person. Whether that person likes you or not,

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if you believe that you're a likable person before you even show up in that conversation,

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you're just going to show up differently. I've learned it. I've felt it. I've experienced it.

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It happens all the time. So what are you allowing to get planted in your heart in this season?

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I want you to really be thinking about that. You know, what are you meditating on? What are

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you thinking on? You know, I'm just going to make this up. This is just what's coming to me. Your

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mom says something to you or said something 20 years ago about, you know, your husband or your

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lack of, and you still believe that internally and you're still living that out. Maybe it's a

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friend that said something. You know, people say things they don't mean. I really don't think most

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people mean to hurt people to the depth that they do. I had someone say on Mother's Day,

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so I have a stepson and then I have my two spiritual daughters. I have not had any biological

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children, but I have children, you all. I had my stepson. He lived with us. He was a baby. I mean,

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like literally I've raised kids. I had my niece when my sister was in high school. Now she wasn't

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my bio kid, but my sister had postpartum depression and was very much struggling to raise her own kid

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and I helped her. So I know what it's like to raise kids, but I had someone that I haven't

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seen in a really long time. She's going through a divorce and I reached out to her trying to

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encourage her and she said something back that I was just like, do people think before they say

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things? I just don't think they do sometimes. She said, I know you don't have kids of your own,

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but maybe, you know, maybe you're having a blessed day or something. I hope you're having a blessed

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day or something like that. And I just thought, what the heck? Like, okay. So because I didn't

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have a baby in my stomach, this is what people believe. And this is why so many, even women in

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our community are getting hurt. So y'all I'm going on the front lines on this. This is something I'm

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really praying into. Y'all can pray for me about it. I'm really praying about writing a mini book

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on this because I think people need to grow in this area and the body of Christ in the world

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in general. I think a lot of people, I mean, she's a Christian. I don't think she, I mean,

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she's a good person. I don't think she intended.

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to be offensive but she she was really offensive I didn't even respond to the

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text yet because I just was like man I have kids I have kids and I know how to

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raise kids and I know what it's like to be a mom just because they're not

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biologically mine doesn't mean I don't walk in that and so I'm saying that to

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you to say I could really I could believe the lie that the enemy is trying

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to continue to say to me through that I know that some of you know what I'm

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talking about because the enemy tries to say that you're never gonna be a mom you

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don't can't be a mom if you foster this way or if you do fostering if you do

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it it's just all a lie

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there there are young girls that need mentors and people that walk in a

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spirit of motherhood right now that have no one investing in their life

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and I believe that we can be a part of the change but how can we well we have

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to heal in our hearts first and I'm not saying that's for everybody but I'm just

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saying I feel like I've even been chatting with Jackie about it I feel

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like not only are we gonna be a movement of kingdom families and

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marriages but I think we're gonna be a movement that revitalizes the idea of

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family I feel the Holy Spirit in that I believe that with all my heart because

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family and maybe because I grew up in my family was so dysfunctional that I had

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to learn over and over and over again that Psalm 68 6 is true that God places

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the solitary and family God places us in family yeah yeah and family is being

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reconciled 100% yes so I don't know why I started going on that but I believe

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it's part of God's heart and so there is that what are we thinking on I think I

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started sharing about that because I could easily have kept meditating on

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that now I have been thinking on it in the sense of man every time this happens

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I keep feeling like I need to be a voice for this I need to be a voice for this

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so let's maybe allow God to take you know any of the pain that we have and

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turn it into purpose versus lies that we believe that we would start to just

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partner with that stuff what are we currently planting in our own hearts so

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for example let me give a different concept maybe there is something that

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you're trying to do this is just the idea that came to my head maybe you're

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trying to get a new job you're trying to go to a new city and immediately you

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start hearing all the lies and all the reasons you can't or you're not able or

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nobody's gonna see you and if you grab on to that it's almost like planting it

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in your own heart like you're partnering with that right and so think about it

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from that perspective what we're thinking about remember what we believe

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we become what are we planting in our own hearts what type of fruit are we

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producing out of there when God uses the word good he isn't talking about our

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human standard of good like when he's talking about that good good life you

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know that he wants us to walk into and understand that he has that for us for

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some of us that's a foreign concept we think God wants to punish us because we

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believe God is just a punisher well he's not he's not and so if that's where

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you're at I really want to encourage you to even start to pray into and partner

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with God can you teach me the ways that you're a good father because if we

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believe he's a punisher then we actually believe that he's just up there with

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like like a paddle a whip or something now he does correct us he does

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discipline us if you will and guide us into better places when we're when we're

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doing things that are not according to his word that because he knows he

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there's a better life for us to live and he wants that for us he doesn't want

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there to be just disconnect between him and us he wants us to be connected and

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close to him and when we walk into sin he never gives up on us you all but it

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causes brokenness it causes a sever right but when we return back what

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happens right away what does it say unconditional love that's that's what

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his love is all about that's what he walks in that's who he is he is love

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himself he cannot

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deny himself. So if you believe, like last week, I've been

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thinking about it all week, my little drawing, I left it out if

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you didn't see it. Oh, hold on. Y'all have to check it out. I'm

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not going to go into what I taught. Go back and check that

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replay out. See this? This is the happy center with God. We're

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not out here. We're not the black sheep sitting on the

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outside. We're not orphans. We're princesses. We're in the

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kingdom. We're already in there with him. But we have to believe

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that. All right. All right. So when it's talking about that

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good, remember that it's he's referring to his standard of

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good. Jeremiah 2911 says for I know the plans I have for you

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says the Lord they are plans for good and not for disaster. He

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doesn't have plans for disaster for us to give you a future and

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a hope. So maybe you do have a little something you know

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working on the inside of you. Maybe in your life, there's some

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things that are working but isn't God's version of good yet.

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You know, I was talking to this lady at church yesterday. And I

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do I think she's done a lot of healing work. I've been trying

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to get her to come into our community. Slowly drop dropping

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little seeds. She's single, so she's ready to date. But she

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said, I think I think I'm good. I think I'm all healed. Well, I

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do life with this lady. I mean, I didn't say no, you're not. I

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said, Yeah, you've healed a lot. I would still highly recommend

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considering our group. That's the way I said it. This is the

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thing. I think that there are times where we are like, I'm

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good. I don't need I don't really need to do that. But if

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God is inviting us into a higher level of revelation of good, why

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wouldn't we want to go into that place? The land that's flowing

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with milk and honey, not the land that's dry in the

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wilderness. Right? So where do you need an upgrade in your

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heart in your life in your mind? Where do you want? Maybe not

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even just need it. You just you're like, man, I want this.

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These are the things I want to encourage you to write out

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journal these things. Don't minimize the thoughts like even

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as I think about that book, like I get excited thinking about

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people's hearts and minds that could be shifted through just

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talking about this. And I'm not trying to minimize moms that

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have kids biologically either. Because man, that's incredible.

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But I think that's that's, you know, again, that's our society

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and sin is about separation and division, competition. One is

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better than the other one is more important than the other

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one is more established than the other. I think God's heart is

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just like, who will walk as a mother to this person? Who will

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step in as father to this person? I think that's God's

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heart. That we would we would all be a part of displaying the

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mother heart of God, the father heart of God to people, and that

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they would know his fullness. So where do you want that upgrade?

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Where do you want God to take you to a new revelation of who

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he is, and what he has for your life, your problem areas are the

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places that you have the most unhealed wounds. So if you are

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looking at your life, and you're like, okay, this is where I'm

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really still struggling. I just can't get past this hurdle, that

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is going to reveal to you that that's where you still have a

419
00:33:40.480 --> 00:33:43.280
lot of wounds, you're still things sitting under there that

420
00:33:43.280 --> 00:33:48.000
you have need of God to help you break free. Proverbs 23, seven

421
00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:52.320
says, in the amplified version for as a person thinks in his

422
00:33:52.320 --> 00:33:57.720
heart, so is he. So same thing. It's, it's just you believe what

423
00:33:57.720 --> 00:34:00.880
you or what you believe you become. That's, that's the

424
00:34:00.880 --> 00:34:02.680
scripture for it right there.

425
00:34:06.600 --> 00:34:09.800
Flies, lies and counterfeit lives. We talk about this in the

426
00:34:09.800 --> 00:34:15.120
book, we talk about this in the coursework. Remember the flies

427
00:34:15.120 --> 00:34:18.480
come in and plant where they think they can reproduce where

428
00:34:18.480 --> 00:34:21.480
there's that food source, there's enough pain and things

429
00:34:21.480 --> 00:34:26.400
in there that they can live off of. So we talked about this in

430
00:34:26.400 --> 00:34:29.600
this week, because here's the thing, the revealing for healing

431
00:34:29.600 --> 00:34:33.400
cycle is going to help you identify the lies and the flies

432
00:34:33.440 --> 00:34:37.360
and the counterfeit identities that you're living into. Some

433
00:34:37.360 --> 00:34:43.280
of you partner with I'm just shy. I'm just shy. I that's not

434
00:34:43.280 --> 00:34:46.760
for me. I'm not somebody who joins a group that people that I

435
00:34:46.760 --> 00:34:49.920
don't know and actually shares that's just that can be their

436
00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:53.440
thing. But that's not my thing. And again, yes, I do think that

437
00:34:53.440 --> 00:34:56.480
there are people that have different personalities. But

438
00:34:56.480 --> 00:34:58.800
y'all, why do we partner with that stuff?

439
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.000
What if God wants to draw you out of that place?

440
00:35:05.000 --> 00:35:12.000
What if you partnered with S.H.I.E. when you were a kid because of something that happened?

441
00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:14.000
Or something that was said?

442
00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:18.000
I was coaching someone this one time and she said that her mom used to always say out loud

443
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:22.000
when she would introduce, she had a couple kids, and she would introduce this daughter,

444
00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:26.000
oh, this is my S.H.I.E. daughter.

445
00:35:26.000 --> 00:35:29.000
She would literally say that. Her mom wasn't trying to be mean.

446
00:35:29.000 --> 00:35:33.000
And maybe that was partially true. Maybe she was a little more timid,

447
00:35:33.000 --> 00:35:38.000
but maybe because of the birth order she was in, maybe the other kids were louder.

448
00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:42.000
Maybe, you know, this can happen a lot if one sibling is really sick,

449
00:35:42.000 --> 00:35:47.000
you'll see another sibling believing that they don't matter as much

450
00:35:47.000 --> 00:35:51.000
or trying to keep the peace because mom and dad can't handle anymore.

451
00:35:51.000 --> 00:35:55.000
I hear it and see it all the time.

452
00:35:55.000 --> 00:36:00.000
So what can happen a lot is they partner with, well, I'm just shy.

453
00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:03.000
I'm not outspoken like them. I'm not this.

454
00:36:03.000 --> 00:36:11.000
And they start labeling themselves and actually isolating and hiding parts of themselves

455
00:36:11.000 --> 00:36:17.000
because they don't really know if the people around them are able to handle it.

456
00:36:17.000 --> 00:36:23.000
If they actually, I had the same lady who said when she was going through some stuff,

457
00:36:23.000 --> 00:36:26.000
she was afraid to actually even tell her parents that she was struggling

458
00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:30.000
because they were already worried about her other siblings.

459
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:35.000
And she felt this deep need to be the good kid, the one that didn't get in trouble,

460
00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:39.000
that didn't have any problems, that didn't have, you know, all these other things going on,

461
00:36:39.000 --> 00:36:43.000
but she actually had stuff going on.

462
00:36:43.000 --> 00:36:48.000
And maybe that's what some of you have done over the years.

463
00:36:48.000 --> 00:36:51.000
But God doesn't want you to stay there.

464
00:36:51.000 --> 00:36:54.000
So these lies, we call them squatters.

465
00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:57.000
They turn into squatters. If you don't know what a squatter is,

466
00:36:57.000 --> 00:37:01.000
they are somebody that goes into a home that's not theirs or a place of living

467
00:37:01.000 --> 00:37:08.000
or even people will try to, like when our church was burnt down and had no doors,

468
00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:12.000
you know, they put up fence and all that around it to try to keep, you know,

469
00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:17.000
people from going inside and trying to live in their squatters.

470
00:37:17.000 --> 00:37:22.000
So these lies turn into these squatters that have taken up residence in our hearts

471
00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:27.000
and the enemy is trying to hinder our breakthrough and he does it through these squatters.

472
00:37:27.000 --> 00:37:32.000
Every time you try to move forward, you're going to start to hear the lies surfacing

473
00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:36.000
because he doesn't want you to move forward.

474
00:37:36.000 --> 00:37:40.000
So what are the squatters that you need to evict tonight?

475
00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:44.000
You know, what are the things that even with that revealing for healing cycle,

476
00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:47.000
maybe you're like, okay, I don't know what the lies are yet,

477
00:37:47.000 --> 00:37:51.000
but I know that I struggle with anger, bad.

478
00:37:51.000 --> 00:37:55.000
And I don't like feeling like this anymore.

479
00:37:55.000 --> 00:38:01.000
Maybe you're one of the ones that isolates and withdrawals and pulls back.

480
00:38:01.000 --> 00:38:03.000
And you know that you do that.

481
00:38:03.000 --> 00:38:09.000
You don't necessarily like living and doing life by yourself a lot.

482
00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:13.000
But sometimes that has just felt easier.

483
00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:16.000
So the enemy convinces you of.

484
00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:20.000
So what squatters do you need to evict tonight?

485
00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:24.000
Be thinking about that. That's not your breakout question.

486
00:38:24.000 --> 00:38:26.000
Okay, it's part of it.

487
00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:28.000
Here's your breakout question.

488
00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:35.000
What is a negative emotion or memory that God is bringing up in your heart and mind tonight?

489
00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:39.000
Okay, so what's a negative emotion or a memory?

490
00:38:39.000 --> 00:38:43.000
Because if I just say emotion, some people get really stressed if they don't know the emotion.

491
00:38:43.000 --> 00:38:46.000
Okay, so either one or you can talk about both.

492
00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:51.000
What's a negative emotion or memory that God is bringing up in your spirit tonight?

493
00:38:51.000 --> 00:38:55.000
For that revealing for healing cycle and process to begin.

494
00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:58.000
Let me get these breakout sessions ready.

495
00:38:58.000 --> 00:39:08.000
Okay.

496
00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:12.000
All right, I'm going to give you all seven minutes.

497
00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:17.000
All right, I'm going to give you all seven minutes.

498
00:39:17.000 --> 00:39:20.000
So join those as quick as you can, and then you'll have more time.

499
00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:41.000
Be short, brief, and powerful, ladies.

500
00:39:41.000 --> 00:40:00.000
Okay, let's get her up there.

501
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.520
For did you get kicked out if you're talking, I can't hear you.

502
00:40:10.200 --> 00:40:26.160
I was the only one in the room. Yeah, I was trying to move some people around. Um, what room were you in? Oh, I didn't even check. I'm sorry. That's okay. Let me see if I can find you. I can send you another one if I can find the right. Okay. There's only two people there.

503
00:40:30.840 --> 00:40:31.600
There we go.

504
00:40:33.560 --> 00:40:35.520
I just see two people for

505
00:40:41.320 --> 00:40:47.640
All right. Did you see that pop up for you? There's two people in the room that you that I just sent you the invite for. Okay.

506
00:40:53.880 --> 00:40:56.400
All right, Father, thank you so much for this night.

507
00:40:57.400 --> 00:41:03.360
I thank you for what you're already doing. God, thank you for strength. Even as I'm coaching God, I thank you for clarity.

508
00:41:04.520 --> 00:41:09.880
I thank you that you'd be with the women in the breakout sessions, even those here live that are also going to watch the replay.

509
00:41:11.120 --> 00:41:13.520
God, we thank you for revealing for healing that are happening.

510
00:41:15.360 --> 00:41:23.640
God, that you would remind the ladies of negative emotions, painful memories, even trauma stories that are related to those things.

511
00:41:24.120 --> 00:41:33.720
God, that you would bring anything out of darkness into the life light that needs revealed for healing. God, I thank you that you would take them from where they've been to where you want them to go.

512
00:41:35.560 --> 00:41:39.160
Yes, Lord, I thank you that every step in this process is important.

513
00:41:45.320 --> 00:41:52.640
Yes, Lord, we just breathe in your presence. Even as I've had to pause more tonight. I just feel like the Lord just keeps inviting me to

514
00:41:54.120 --> 00:41:55.920
remember that he's with us and

515
00:41:57.200 --> 00:42:14.080
even when things are hard. So even as your heart work is hard at times, he's with you. He's never going to let you down. I know he's here with me even helping me to be able to coach tonight. I just hope that you experience that same presence, that same affirmation, that same love.

516
00:42:15.720 --> 00:42:19.160
Yes, Lord, I thank you that you would just wash over all of these ladies

517
00:42:20.160 --> 00:42:22.880
with fresh waves of your love, grace,

518
00:42:24.720 --> 00:42:30.560
of your peace, of your power. We thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here. We thank you that you would

519
00:42:32.120 --> 00:42:40.040
help them all to live and move and have their being in you. That they would never be satisfied apart from your love, Lord.

520
00:42:41.040 --> 00:42:51.320
That they would fall more and more and more in love with you, Jesus, Father God and Holy Spirit. And that out of that love that they would grow in their identity in Christ more.

521
00:42:53.440 --> 00:42:56.800
Yes, Lord, that you would make them completely whole, lacking no good thing.

522
00:42:58.440 --> 00:43:04.240
That you would make them whole physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially. God, that they would lack no good thing.

523
00:43:04.800 --> 00:43:16.200
Yes, Lord, that you would go into the recesses and to the areas and the cracks and the crannies, if you will, that you would go into every area of their foundation and you would just pour your love.

524
00:43:18.520 --> 00:43:21.000
Yes, Lord, we know that you are our dwelling place.

525
00:43:22.200 --> 00:43:25.080
Even this past Sunday, Pentecost Sunday, God, we thank you

526
00:43:25.080 --> 00:43:36.120
that you sent the Holy Spirit to empower us, to equip us for every good work, including walking out your plans and promises for us into the fullness of what you have for us.

527
00:43:38.360 --> 00:43:48.360
Yes, Lord, we thank you for healing power, even as I need healing physically myself tonight. God, I thank you for physical healing in these ladies.

528
00:43:48.360 --> 00:44:07.680
Physical healing in their bodies and their emotions and their souls and their spirits and their minds. We just come against any kind of memory issues or struggles from PTSD or even, yeah, Lord, I don't know, someone I just feel like maybe a parent has spoken or a parent had memory issues and someone's fearing they're going to have the same thing.

529
00:44:07.840 --> 00:44:18.480
We just speak peace to that. We say, peace be still and all lies be dispelled in Jesus name. We thank you for truth that would prevail and come to the forefront.

530
00:44:20.720 --> 00:44:26.960
Yes, Lord, we thank you where there's been bitter roots, Lord. We just thank you that you would just come and place the balm on us.

531
00:44:26.960 --> 00:44:39.440
Yes, Lord, we thank you where there's been bitter roots, Lord. We just thank you that you would just come and place the balm of Gilead upon those areas.

532
00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:46.080
That you'd bring healing and restoration, that you'd bring grace and truth.

533
00:44:46.080 --> 00:44:59.760
We plead the blood of Jesus Christ over those areas right now. Yes, Holy Spirit, we lose in Jesus name and by the power of your blood, Jesus, the spirit of love and of power, Lord, we thank you that you would just come and place the balm of Gilead upon those areas right now.

534
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.040
of a sound mind, a spirit of forgiveness, a spirit of

535
00:45:03.040 --> 00:45:05.240
reconciliation, a spirit of peace.

536
00:45:07.040 --> 00:45:09.800
Yes, Lord, I thank you for families being healed and

537
00:45:09.800 --> 00:45:13.840
restored. Even as someone wrote in the chat, we thank you God

538
00:45:13.840 --> 00:45:16.640
for kinsmen redeemers that you've called us to be that in

539
00:45:16.640 --> 00:45:17.440
our families.

540
00:45:19.440 --> 00:45:22.760
And just as Jesus Christ came to be a kinsmen redeemer for us,

541
00:45:22.760 --> 00:45:28.400
he enables us to walk that out in our lives in our communities.

542
00:45:28.400 --> 00:45:30.720
And we just thank you God for transformation that is

543
00:45:30.720 --> 00:45:31.440
happening.

544
00:45:34.160 --> 00:45:38.080
We thank you for helping us Lord to see your truth.

545
00:45:39.480 --> 00:45:42.840
Yes, Lord, we thank you that you take us from glory to glory to

546
00:45:42.840 --> 00:45:45.280
glory help us to see you Lord more fully.

547
00:45:47.320 --> 00:45:50.000
GG, I just saw your microphone thing. That's totally fine.

548
00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:50.880
That happens.

549
00:45:52.480 --> 00:45:55.480
You may want to ask a friend to help you work on your mic.

550
00:45:56.000 --> 00:45:59.960
Because we have some people that they've not been able to and

551
00:45:59.960 --> 00:46:02.680
they asked someone to help them and that person help them help

552
00:46:02.680 --> 00:46:04.960
them figure out the mic so they were able to use it the next

553
00:46:04.960 --> 00:46:08.280
session. But that totally is fine. And that happens. Thank

554
00:46:08.280 --> 00:46:09.160
you for letting me know.

555
00:46:11.880 --> 00:46:14.520
As I was just kind of flipping through here, I flipped through

556
00:46:14.520 --> 00:46:17.160
to repentance. I'm going to say something about that really

557
00:46:17.160 --> 00:46:17.680
quick.

558
00:46:21.120 --> 00:46:22.400
So I'm letting them come back.

559
00:46:26.080 --> 00:46:28.560
We're not talking about repentance necessarily tonight,

560
00:46:28.560 --> 00:46:31.640
but this just stood out true repentance will break the cycle

561
00:46:31.640 --> 00:46:35.560
and set us free from the mindsets that are behind the

562
00:46:35.560 --> 00:46:38.160
patterns that we've lived in. And so Lord, we just thank you

563
00:46:38.160 --> 00:46:39.080
for a spirit of

564
00:46:40.760 --> 00:46:44.400
just repentance for things that we've done Lord help us to

565
00:46:44.400 --> 00:46:48.360
forgive the harm that others have done to us. We thank you

566
00:46:48.360 --> 00:46:52.760
Lord that you would just continue to bring revelation to

567
00:46:52.760 --> 00:46:58.160
our minds and you are Hello, welcome back. Welcome, welcome.

568
00:46:58.200 --> 00:47:02.520
All right. Awesome. Hopefully you enjoyed that I'm getting to

569
00:47:02.520 --> 00:47:07.280
know a couple more people are activations for this week. It's

570
00:47:07.280 --> 00:47:09.920
been really great to see your fun activations to see your

571
00:47:09.920 --> 00:47:12.360
posts this last week. Keep those up.

572
00:47:13.640 --> 00:47:16.320
Your activation for this week and even my ladies that are

573
00:47:16.320 --> 00:47:20.400
joining from other phases, even though you're here in this phase

574
00:47:20.400 --> 00:47:23.760
and some of you have done these before feel free if you feel

575
00:47:23.760 --> 00:47:26.840
led to do the activations again to go ahead and do it and just

576
00:47:26.840 --> 00:47:30.200
post it and your group and you can just tell them that you you

577
00:47:30.200 --> 00:47:32.880
join the hard work and that you're just posting in your

578
00:47:32.880 --> 00:47:33.720
group. Okay.

579
00:47:35.480 --> 00:47:38.560
Because this week is something that we can all do and we can

580
00:47:38.560 --> 00:47:40.160
revisit this one all the time.

581
00:47:41.440 --> 00:47:42.000
Create an

582
00:47:42.840 --> 00:47:43.560
so sorry.

583
00:47:45.160 --> 00:47:48.200
Create a post in the group this week with answering these

584
00:47:48.200 --> 00:47:52.280
questions. So what squatters are you evicting? Remember what

585
00:47:52.280 --> 00:47:55.680
lies the lies are the squatters what squatters are you evicting

586
00:47:55.680 --> 00:47:58.560
this week and literally when you're evicting it the point is

587
00:47:58.560 --> 00:48:05.120
you're saying I am kicking you out and and you can't just keep

588
00:48:05.120 --> 00:48:10.320
coming back in. Okay, so we're drawing a line or lie and

589
00:48:11.920 --> 00:48:12.800
when people

590
00:48:14.280 --> 00:48:16.640
when people evict people out of their home when they don't

591
00:48:16.640 --> 00:48:20.120
belong there, guess what they can change the locks and those

592
00:48:20.120 --> 00:48:22.800
people can't come back in. So that's kind of the point of this

593
00:48:22.800 --> 00:48:24.640
eviction thing. All right.

594
00:48:25.600 --> 00:48:30.160
Who are you struggling at times to like to pretend to be we've

595
00:48:30.160 --> 00:48:34.800
worked on that in other weeks. But is that showing up at all

596
00:48:35.320 --> 00:48:39.840
this week? Here are some other lies and squatters that we want

597
00:48:39.840 --> 00:48:43.040
to encourage you to pray into and pray about kicking out

598
00:48:43.600 --> 00:48:48.320
passivity. So that's like inactive, unreactive, inert,

599
00:48:49.520 --> 00:48:55.920
and inferiority complexes, cultural and family norms. You

600
00:48:55.920 --> 00:48:59.000
know, we, we don't want to partner with this is just one

601
00:48:59.000 --> 00:49:04.480
example. Men are lazy or men don't actually, you know, love

602
00:49:04.480 --> 00:49:08.720
Jesus the way women do men don't, you know, for a long time,

603
00:49:08.720 --> 00:49:11.400
we've had to been five years I've been doing this. We've been

604
00:49:11.400 --> 00:49:13.320
breaking those lies down about men.

605
00:49:14.760 --> 00:49:17.320
There's a lot of women that believe that men don't really

606
00:49:17.320 --> 00:49:20.320
pursue God that they don't have a heart for God the way they do

607
00:49:20.320 --> 00:49:23.680
that's not that's not healthy mindsets, ladies. All right.

608
00:49:24.400 --> 00:49:29.720
That's one example cultural can also be, you know, things that

609
00:49:29.720 --> 00:49:33.200
you grew up in and your culture that are not serving you,

610
00:49:33.200 --> 00:49:38.680
they're actually hindering you. All right. poverty mindsets, so

611
00:49:38.680 --> 00:49:42.560
lack of God's provision for you believing that he won't look out

612
00:49:42.560 --> 00:49:45.800
for you provide for you. Victimhood mindsets. We've been

613
00:49:45.800 --> 00:49:50.080
talking about those the last few weeks, religious mindsets,

614
00:49:50.760 --> 00:49:54.640
where you're going to lay aside religious mindsets, religious

615
00:49:55.040 --> 00:49:59.360
thinking, perfectionist thoughts can kind of partner with that as

616
00:49:59.360 --> 00:49:59.880
well.

617
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:08.000
Scarcity mindsets, addictive behaviors, wanting to self-medicate in some way.

618
00:50:08.000 --> 00:50:12.500
This could be, you know, alcohol, this could be drugs.

619
00:50:12.500 --> 00:50:17.500
In our day and age, y'all, you know, not trying to step on people's toes.

620
00:50:17.500 --> 00:50:21.000
I know some people use this for cancer.

621
00:50:21.000 --> 00:50:25.000
And so, you know, I'm not trying to get into what is right or what is wrong.

622
00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:32.000
But, you know, it's becoming more and more common for people to say they have been prescribed marijuana.

623
00:50:32.000 --> 00:50:37.000
But, y'all, so many people are doing this to just numb out.

624
00:50:37.000 --> 00:50:39.000
It's true.

625
00:50:39.000 --> 00:50:40.000
Okay.

626
00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:42.000
And so, again, I'm not trying to step on toes.

627
00:50:42.000 --> 00:50:45.000
I'm not trying to start a big war discussion on this.

628
00:50:45.000 --> 00:50:59.000
I'm just saying, even in extended family, a conversation that happened a couple months ago, that's kind of the thing that's happening up where we used to live.

629
00:50:59.000 --> 00:51:01.000
And it's growing.

630
00:51:01.000 --> 00:51:06.000
And I've noticed that we have several stores popping up here in locations in Florida.

631
00:51:06.000 --> 00:51:08.000
And so I think this is going to be more and more common.

632
00:51:08.000 --> 00:51:15.000
We have to remember, what is the Holy Spirit saying to us?

633
00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:17.000
Is that something he wants for us?

634
00:51:17.000 --> 00:51:22.000
Or does he want us to lean into him to heal and not self-medicate?

635
00:51:22.000 --> 00:51:23.000
This can also be with porn.

636
00:51:23.000 --> 00:51:24.000
It can be with TV.

637
00:51:24.000 --> 00:51:26.000
All kinds of stuff.

638
00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:27.000
All right.

639
00:51:27.000 --> 00:51:29.000
And then bitterness.

640
00:51:29.000 --> 00:51:35.000
Are you stuck in a cycle of bitterness and resentment?

641
00:51:35.000 --> 00:51:37.000
Really be thinking about that.

642
00:51:37.000 --> 00:51:40.000
I know some people will be adamantly no right away.

643
00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:44.000
But when you just go back to, well, it's their fault.

644
00:51:44.000 --> 00:51:45.000
They did this.

645
00:51:45.000 --> 00:51:55.000
If we get that kind of tone and attitude in our heart, even if we don't say it outwardly, there's a lot that can be rooted in bitterness and unforgiveness, resentment, all that.

646
00:51:55.000 --> 00:51:56.000
And it can turn into anger.

647
00:51:56.000 --> 00:51:57.000
It can turn into wrath.

648
00:51:57.000 --> 00:51:58.000
A lot of things.

649
00:51:58.000 --> 00:51:59.000
Vengeance.

650
00:51:59.000 --> 00:52:01.000
So keep an eye out for those things.

651
00:52:01.000 --> 00:52:03.000
And then you're going to do a post.

652
00:52:04.000 --> 00:52:12.000
If any of that spoke to you, you don't have to do a post about all of it, but if any of that spoke to you or if God is revealing other things to you this week, come into the group, talk to us about it.

653
00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:14.000
We can help you process that more.

654
00:52:14.000 --> 00:52:15.000
All right.

655
00:52:15.000 --> 00:52:23.000
Who is willing to share with the whole group what you shared in your breakout session?

656
00:52:23.000 --> 00:52:26.000
Any takers tonight?

657
00:52:26.000 --> 00:52:27.000
All right.

658
00:52:27.000 --> 00:52:28.000
There we go.

659
00:52:28.000 --> 00:52:30.000
Lisa Mendrix can go first.

660
00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:32.000
I saw your hand pop up first there.

661
00:52:32.000 --> 00:52:33.000
Okay.

662
00:52:33.000 --> 00:52:34.000
Yeah.

663
00:52:34.000 --> 00:52:45.000
So what's been going on for me is that I'm applying for a home stewardship position in Carmel, and I'm getting ready to get all of that going in the next couple of days.

664
00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:48.000
Because I'm just done with my resume.

665
00:52:48.000 --> 00:52:49.000
Everything.

666
00:52:49.000 --> 00:52:53.000
Like, it's taken me over a month to do this.

667
00:52:53.000 --> 00:52:57.000
And, you know, cover letters like referral.

668
00:52:57.000 --> 00:52:59.000
Anyway, I won't carry on.

669
00:52:59.000 --> 00:53:08.000
But I had a conversation with my pastor's wife for the first time in the, I think it was like probably the deepest conversation in 24 years we've ever had.

670
00:53:08.000 --> 00:53:10.000
I don't really talk to her that much about my own problems.

671
00:53:10.000 --> 00:53:14.000
And not, I mean, totally nice person.

672
00:53:14.000 --> 00:53:19.000
I just always felt like she would never really understand because she seems so happy all the time, if I'm to be honest.

673
00:53:19.000 --> 00:53:27.000
And I feel like I can, you know, when I have issues, they feel pretty deep when I'm, you know, so I don't open up very easily to people like that.

674
00:53:27.000 --> 00:53:40.000
But anyway, the long and short is that in our conversation, and I'm still kind of confused with everything that was said, but what I know she said was.

675
00:53:40.000 --> 00:53:47.000
I had been journaling quite a bit about this whole applying for this position and just really pouring my heart out.

676
00:53:47.000 --> 00:53:53.000
And what I got from my journaling from what God was telling me was like, everything I have for you is on the other side.

677
00:53:53.000 --> 00:53:57.000
And I felt like it was about moving to Carmel, you know, I really did.

678
00:53:57.000 --> 00:54:04.000
And, but then he said this one thing in the journal where he said, this isn't the only way I can do this for you, Lisa.

679
00:54:04.000 --> 00:54:12.000
And I kept journaling on because I kind of, I think I asked a really brief question and then I just went on and like bypassed it.

680
00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:16.000
But it stuck with me because I was like, okay, am I on the wrong track here?

681
00:54:16.000 --> 00:54:19.000
Like, you know, does he want to do something else?

682
00:54:19.000 --> 00:54:22.000
And so I went back to it to find what it said.

683
00:54:22.000 --> 00:54:26.000
And he said, no, Lisa, I gave those desires.

684
00:54:26.000 --> 00:54:28.000
You know, I put those desires in your heart.

685
00:54:28.000 --> 00:54:34.000
And so I don't know if it was just a side comment, God was saying like, Hey, there's other ways.

686
00:54:34.000 --> 00:54:39.000
Or maybe for me just not to be so stuck on exactly how it might come about.

687
00:54:39.000 --> 00:54:40.000
You know what I mean?

688
00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:42.000
Because that's how God is, right?

689
00:54:42.000 --> 00:54:45.000
He thinks life really doesn't ever go how we expect.

690
00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:48.000
You know, you have this journey, you think it's going to go a certain way.

691
00:54:48.000 --> 00:54:50.000
And then God's like, Oh no, I have this other thing.

692
00:54:50.000 --> 00:54:53.000
Or there's a delay or, you know, but it's always for a reason.

693
00:54:53.000 --> 00:54:58.000
So anyway, I guess I'm feeling more upbeat now than I'm saying this out loud.

694
00:54:58.000 --> 00:54:59.000
Because I was really heavy.

695
00:54:59.000 --> 00:55:00.000
Like I was crying about it.

696
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.320
an hour ago, you know, like, yeah, I was really like, I was

697
00:55:04.360 --> 00:55:07.200
I was, yeah, I was getting ready to respond to a text message to

698
00:55:07.200 --> 00:55:09.680
her. And it took me an hour just to try to figure out the thing

699
00:55:09.680 --> 00:55:13.560
just because I wanted to address it a lot. But you know, really

700
00:55:13.560 --> 00:55:17.920
just, I'm really just on a side note, but I feel like this is

701
00:55:17.920 --> 00:55:25.000
important to bring up. I'm feeling really tortured with. I

702
00:55:25.000 --> 00:55:31.320
have strived for so long. And I know that's not of God. Like I

703
00:55:31.360 --> 00:55:35.360
have been striving since I was 15. Not living with my parents

704
00:55:35.360 --> 00:55:38.720
my last years of high school, and then I got saved at 37. And

705
00:55:38.720 --> 00:55:43.800
I'm 61 now. So that's like 24 years of doing life with God and

706
00:55:43.800 --> 00:55:47.440
learning. But this is an area where like, I really realized

707
00:55:47.440 --> 00:55:52.360
like, I just almost I'm not saying I don't know how I'm

708
00:55:52.360 --> 00:55:57.960
having to learn how to not rely on myself. And I've come to so

709
00:55:57.960 --> 00:56:01.840
many points with God, we're like, really, like in my

710
00:56:01.840 --> 00:56:04.840
deepest, darkest times of like, I don't know where I'm going to

711
00:56:04.840 --> 00:56:08.000
live tomorrow to I need a new car. I mean, we're talking

712
00:56:08.000 --> 00:56:11.440
really desperate situations. When I called out to God, like

713
00:56:11.440 --> 00:56:15.040
I'm not even joking, like within a week to 10 days every time,

714
00:56:15.040 --> 00:56:18.960
and I have so many miracle stories, or he just pulled

715
00:56:18.960 --> 00:56:21.960
through, like he's like, I mean, I mean, I can't even tell you

716
00:56:21.960 --> 00:56:24.720
like cars have been given to me. Like it's not even like my

717
00:56:24.720 --> 00:56:28.320
own pastor said, Lisa, I've never seen somebody more like

718
00:56:28.400 --> 00:56:32.640
less than you, you know, and I'm no, he's no respecter of

719
00:56:32.640 --> 00:56:36.600
persons. But I'm just saying like, in my desperateness, God

720
00:56:36.600 --> 00:56:40.600
showed up. And I think I need to learn how to know that God's

721
00:56:40.600 --> 00:56:44.760
going to show up when I'm not like, in a desperate situation.

722
00:56:44.800 --> 00:56:47.880
You know what I'm saying? I feel like I have a lot of writing on

723
00:56:47.880 --> 00:56:50.600
this, because honestly, this would be the most money I would

724
00:56:50.600 --> 00:56:54.240
ever make in my life so far. And if I get this home

725
00:56:54.240 --> 00:56:57.400
stewardship, you know, a position, and I just want to get

726
00:56:57.400 --> 00:57:01.880
out of debt, I want to I don't have like a savings. I'm 61.

727
00:57:01.880 --> 00:57:06.280
Like I don't have retirement, like I, I never worked for

728
00:57:06.280 --> 00:57:08.960
corporations, because I had a bad experience as an 18 year

729
00:57:08.960 --> 00:57:11.280
old. And I just said, I'm never working for a corporation. I

730
00:57:11.280 --> 00:57:14.520
will never work for somebody who treats people like this. And I

731
00:57:14.520 --> 00:57:18.160
based it on one time experience, you know, as immature, but I

732
00:57:18.160 --> 00:57:21.640
won't carry on. I don't, you know, I know that God can redeem

733
00:57:21.640 --> 00:57:25.400
the time. And I know, I can't look at our culture and think

734
00:57:25.400 --> 00:57:28.160
like, Oh, I'm way behind, you know, because God can change

735
00:57:28.160 --> 00:57:32.080
things like that. Totally. So I do have that belief, because I

736
00:57:32.080 --> 00:57:35.320
also have the experience to, you know, so I'm like, Oh, yeah,

737
00:57:35.360 --> 00:57:38.000
God, you did do those things, you know. So anyway, I won't

738
00:57:38.000 --> 00:57:41.120
carry on. But that in a nutshell, is just kind of like,

739
00:57:41.400 --> 00:57:44.480
it's the second guessing myself, you know, and then it brings me

740
00:57:44.480 --> 00:57:47.120
down. I don't want to apply like that, like what you just said,

741
00:57:47.120 --> 00:57:49.800
like, you know, how you're thinking about something, it's

742
00:57:49.800 --> 00:57:53.440
how you put yourself out there. So if I'm like, Oh, am I doing

743
00:57:53.440 --> 00:57:55.280
the right thing? Or, you know,

744
00:57:56.480 --> 00:58:01.280
think about even as you were going, you know, you said, at

745
00:58:01.280 --> 00:58:04.360
first, if I heard you, right, everything I have for you is on

746
00:58:04.360 --> 00:58:07.200
the other side, you heard that from God, and then he's trying

747
00:58:07.200 --> 00:58:10.040
to just say, Hey, this isn't the only way I can do this. You

748
00:58:10.040 --> 00:58:12.720
know, I think there is this level of, you know, when you

749
00:58:12.720 --> 00:58:18.640
talk about striving, you know, so many times when we have

750
00:58:18.640 --> 00:58:22.080
partner with striving for a long time, even if we didn't mean to

751
00:58:22.080 --> 00:58:25.720
or perfectionism, you know, we think it has to just happen a

752
00:58:25.720 --> 00:58:30.200
certain way. You know, I think God is is trying to grow, you

753
00:58:30.200 --> 00:58:34.280
know, you regarding, like, hey, like, I can show up for you in

754
00:58:34.280 --> 00:58:39.520
multiple ways. Like I can, I can provide for you when you feel at

755
00:58:39.520 --> 00:58:44.000
rest. And I can provide for you when you're doing things, you

756
00:58:44.000 --> 00:58:47.360
know, where you're going to start to see more of that, those

757
00:58:47.360 --> 00:58:52.760
different sides of the Lord. But also, um, you started saying

758
00:58:52.800 --> 00:58:56.280
feeling tortured with and then you had a long pause. And then

759
00:58:56.280 --> 00:59:01.120
you said, I have strived for so long. So were you saying that

760
00:59:01.120 --> 00:59:07.160
you feel tortured still by that need to grind and strive? Is

761
00:59:07.160 --> 00:59:08.080
that what you were? Okay.

762
00:59:08.240 --> 00:59:11.920
I think I feel like I take things into my own hands. And

763
00:59:11.920 --> 00:59:14.680
then I'm like, shoot, did I blow up? God? Did I did I even seek

764
00:59:14.680 --> 00:59:17.160
you on that? Like, you know what I mean? Like, sometimes it'll be

765
00:59:17.160 --> 00:59:19.720
like that. Because when you're desperate to make your bills

766
00:59:19.720 --> 00:59:22.440
meet every month, you know, you'll do whatever it takes to

767
00:59:22.440 --> 00:59:26.040
make that. I mean, at least that's what I do. Right. So I

768
00:59:26.040 --> 00:59:29.640
and I'm like, God, oh, my gosh, like, for God, I mean, if I

769
00:59:29.640 --> 00:59:32.720
belong, forgive me, like, I know God sees my heart, but I don't

770
00:59:32.720 --> 00:59:37.280
want to repetitively be doing that.

771
00:59:37.520 --> 00:59:42.280
So what I would encourage you to do, Lisa, I just keep hearing

772
00:59:42.280 --> 00:59:48.560
the word rest and receive for you. And so I I'm a visual

773
00:59:48.560 --> 00:59:50.840
person. So if this isn't something that would help you,

774
00:59:50.840 --> 00:59:55.400
you can come up with a different idea. But I almost envision you

775
00:59:55.400 --> 00:59:59.320
like drawing like, and it can be simple, okay, like a stick

776
00:59:59.320 --> 00:59:59.840
figure.

777
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.560
Okay, but where you there's this kind of picture of you just receiving. So if it's a big gift in

778
01:00:06.560 --> 01:00:12.640
the center of the picture that's open and there's a stick figure like buy it or just that you have a

779
01:00:12.640 --> 01:00:17.520
visual just that helps you partner with even though you know God has provided for you on all

780
01:00:17.520 --> 01:00:24.640
those different things. Okay, okay. I want the word rest to kind of be coming out of the gift box.

781
01:00:24.800 --> 01:00:30.240
Okay, okay, because I think God is trying to teach you rest in the middle of this like what is it

782
01:00:30.240 --> 01:00:37.920
look like in this next season that even as God is leading you into something new to believe that he

783
01:00:37.920 --> 01:00:47.680
can do it in multiple ways including where what's the opposite of striving it's rest. Yeah, and it

784
01:00:48.400 --> 01:00:54.560
Yeah, and it doesn't mean we're not doing anything. It means our heart posture sometimes we're not

785
01:00:54.560 --> 01:01:00.160
doing something but it's it really has a lot to do with our heart posture. Orphans strive.

786
01:01:01.280 --> 01:01:05.280
Yeah, that's been that's I don't want to admit it but that has been me.

787
01:01:05.280 --> 01:01:11.280
Yeah, definitely. And even people that have great parents can partner with orphan mentalities

788
01:01:11.280 --> 01:01:16.000
like I was saying even earlier a lot of different dynamics but you know again

789
01:01:16.000 --> 01:01:21.360
where one child's sick and another isn't like that can all come up you know and really trigger

790
01:01:21.360 --> 01:01:26.720
people to believe that they were like and they felt like an orphan. They felt like neglected

791
01:01:26.720 --> 01:01:30.800
even though they knew their parents loved them but because the parents had to pay attention to

792
01:01:30.800 --> 01:01:36.320
the other kids so much it can really create a lot of that and it can come from other things but

793
01:01:36.320 --> 01:01:42.160
again that comes to mind. But I think as you partner with that rest and like really ask God

794
01:01:42.160 --> 01:01:48.320
like what is resting in you in this season for me look like? Because resting you know six months

795
01:01:48.320 --> 01:01:56.160
ago in the Lord might look different now. We need to remember that God is fluid okay like

796
01:01:57.120 --> 01:02:02.640
he's always wanting to teach us something new. So even for me a couple months ago what did rest

797
01:02:02.640 --> 01:02:08.080
look like? Well I'm different now. I'm in a different you know things are happening and

798
01:02:08.800 --> 01:02:13.280
so anyways really praying into that and just see what he leads you into. We'll be praying for you

799
01:02:13.280 --> 01:02:19.760
about this job as well. Yeah thank you. I did want to say one last quick thing that did come up for me

800
01:02:20.400 --> 01:02:25.760
is that I think I really have this thing about if things don't work out it's my fault

801
01:02:27.760 --> 01:02:32.960
and I can't I almost can't be with that and I think that's what causes me to strive so much

802
01:02:33.600 --> 01:02:38.000
and I think the whole thing is if it doesn't work out I think it comes from my parents divorce. Like

803
01:02:38.000 --> 01:02:45.520
I think I blamed myself for them not working out somehow. That's why for me. Have you ever

804
01:02:45.520 --> 01:02:52.640
spent some time just really journaling around that and releasing yourself from that? No I think I

805
01:02:52.640 --> 01:02:56.640
need to go deeper with the Lord because it came up when you were talking earlier before we went

806
01:02:56.640 --> 01:03:01.440
out to the breakout rooms. I was like oh man I think this is because I almost feel completely

807
01:03:02.240 --> 01:03:08.480
defeated over some stuff that's like little. Like I was trying to create a new gmail account for me

808
01:03:08.480 --> 01:03:11.920
because I want all the correspondence to go to one account. I don't want to have to cipher through

809
01:03:11.920 --> 01:03:17.520
all my other emails and I had plugged in my phone number too many times trying to set it up so

810
01:03:17.520 --> 01:03:23.360
gmail said oh you can't get back in yeah and I'll have to wait 24 hours. I felt so defeated.

811
01:03:24.080 --> 01:03:31.280
I was like are you kidding me? I can't even make progress now. It's bad. It's not horrible but

812
01:03:31.680 --> 01:03:36.160
sounds like you already have insight into that so I would highly recommend spending some time

813
01:03:36.160 --> 01:03:40.800
with that because it could lead other places too but it sounds like that's where you need to start

814
01:03:40.800 --> 01:03:45.840
so there's really I mean you don't need to forgive yourself for your parents getting

815
01:03:46.400 --> 01:03:53.040
divorced but what I would do is like forgive yourself for blaming yourself.

816
01:03:54.240 --> 01:03:58.000
Yeah it's weird. I don't feel like I blame myself. I think it's very subconscious.

817
01:03:58.960 --> 01:04:05.200
It's like me connecting the dots. Like you may not be like oh I blame myself I blame myself

818
01:04:05.200 --> 01:04:10.800
but subconsciously you're taking that if we believe that anything that was not our fault

819
01:04:10.800 --> 01:04:16.880
is our fault there's a level of blaming ourselves and taking responsibility on ourselves that was

820
01:04:16.880 --> 01:04:22.640
never intended for us so that's why I'm saying it that way. Now you may not like have actually

821
01:04:22.640 --> 01:04:29.200
said that but again if it's a subconscious thing in there then we have to we almost have to put

822
01:04:29.200 --> 01:04:36.880
words to it in order to let it go like okay I come out of agreement with the lie that I had

823
01:04:36.880 --> 01:04:43.440
some responsibility or you know that my parents you know got divorced whatever it is you believe

824
01:04:43.440 --> 01:04:47.440
that's all I'm trying to say that you literally are saying okay I'm coming out of agreement with

825
01:04:47.440 --> 01:04:53.600
this thought and start unpacking it that way and really ask the Lord to give you the truth in those

826
01:04:53.600 --> 01:04:59.840
in those times and just yeah see where it leads you. I think that's a great another another great step.

827
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.720
Yeah. Okay. Thank you so much. Thank you. Kristen C.

828
01:05:04.720 --> 01:05:20.400
Hi. I'm new to this. Welcome. Thank you. So one of the things I've just kind of been trying

829
01:05:20.400 --> 01:05:30.800
to unpack is, uh, I, I'm coming out of performance based like love and thinking that I need to earn

830
01:05:30.800 --> 01:05:40.480
love in my relationships. And I'm talking like even friendships basic. Um, and looking back

831
01:05:40.480 --> 01:05:48.560
over my life, I have never even had a friendship that has lasted for like long periods of time.

832
01:05:49.280 --> 01:05:57.040
My friendships have always been seasonal. Um, and I believe that's part of how God has worked

833
01:05:57.040 --> 01:06:04.080
in some of those relationships. Um, but you know, since I've been unpacking some things,

834
01:06:04.080 --> 01:06:14.240
I'm starting to wonder if there's more to that. Um, last week I was going through some of the

835
01:06:14.240 --> 01:06:23.040
forgiveness prayer and spending time with the Lord. And I unexpected unexpectedly like realized

836
01:06:23.040 --> 01:06:30.960
I needed to forgive the Lord. Like there was disappointment that I had been holding on to,

837
01:06:32.400 --> 01:06:40.320
um, just in where my life is right now. And the dreams that I thought, um,

838
01:06:41.280 --> 01:06:47.600
dreams that have laid down that I haven't, um, pursued, like it's been too hard to hold the hope

839
01:06:47.600 --> 01:06:56.960
for some of those things. Um, and so just trying to kind of figure out how all of those things go

840
01:06:56.960 --> 01:07:05.440
together. Well, number one, um, we might not get to all of them tonight because I really want to

841
01:07:05.440 --> 01:07:09.840
just ask you a couple of questions and see if it comes up. If nothing comes up, that's fine.

842
01:07:11.040 --> 01:07:15.920
So when you were talking about, you said, I, none of my friendships have ever been more than

843
01:07:15.920 --> 01:07:22.480
just seasonal. The first question that came up in my mind was, um, sorry, I lost you on my screen.

844
01:07:22.480 --> 01:07:29.120
Did you ever, when you were young, like have a friend that felt like a good friend that you

845
01:07:29.120 --> 01:07:31.760
lost, whether they moved away, you moved away,

846
01:07:32.720 --> 01:07:37.200
or something happened in that friendship that you can remember, like when you were younger?

847
01:07:39.920 --> 01:07:46.480
No, what I can remember is feeling that my friendships were not always reciprocated.

848
01:07:46.480 --> 01:07:51.920
Like I was more loyal to my friendships than I felt that they were loyal back.

849
01:07:52.640 --> 01:07:56.960
And maybe that's part of the performance. Like I was looking for something from them, maybe.

850
01:07:57.920 --> 01:08:02.400
Um, I mean, it could be possible. You might've even, I mean, kids that if you're, if we're

851
01:08:02.400 --> 01:08:06.560
struggling in our home environment, we can even want stuff from our friends that they can't give

852
01:08:06.560 --> 01:08:12.480
us same kind of thing. If we go into a relationship and we're not healed, we can go in wanting that

853
01:08:12.480 --> 01:08:17.520
person to fill that. Right. Well, they can't ever fill the void that only God can fill.

854
01:08:19.279 --> 01:08:22.560
Did your mom have good friendships in her life?

855
01:08:22.880 --> 01:08:29.520
In her life? I don't, my mom has had very few friendships,

856
01:08:29.520 --> 01:08:33.920
but they have lasted like her entire lifetime. Okay.

857
01:08:36.319 --> 01:08:45.279
My relationship with my mom was, there was trust broken when I was young. And that's some

858
01:08:45.279 --> 01:08:51.040
healing work that I have done previously. Okay. Tell me, can you give me an idea of what that

859
01:08:51.040 --> 01:08:57.840
means for you? Yeah. So when I specifically remember a time when I was in fifth grade,

860
01:08:57.840 --> 01:09:05.680
right. It was when I like first liked someone. Um, and I trusted her with that information and

861
01:09:06.640 --> 01:09:15.600
her response was like teasing me about it and not, so I felt like

862
01:09:16.240 --> 01:09:20.880
from that point on, she was not somebody I could go to and talk about those things,

863
01:09:20.880 --> 01:09:29.200
like things of my heart with her. Okay. Do you have sisters? I have one sister. Okay. Did your

864
01:09:29.200 --> 01:09:38.640
sister have good friends? Yes. And she has lifelong friends. Yep. Okay. And were you the younger,

865
01:09:39.439 --> 01:09:48.000
the older sister? I was the older. Okay. All right. So tell me when you were younger,

866
01:09:48.560 --> 01:09:52.560
when you said my friendships, you know, I felt like I was caring about them more,

867
01:09:52.560 --> 01:09:57.200
like they weren't reciprocating. Tell me an example, like what's something that happened for

868
01:09:57.200 --> 01:10:03.600
you when you were younger? Um, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't think I've

869
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:00.840
for you?

870
01:10:04.500 --> 01:10:08.500
You know, like, I don't know, getting, just spending time,

871
01:10:08.500 --> 01:10:11.540
like they would choose to spend time with other friends

872
01:10:11.540 --> 01:10:15.900
and I'd find out that they had hung out together

873
01:10:15.900 --> 01:10:17.620
and I had not been invited.

874
01:10:18.740 --> 01:10:21.260
Or, you know, there was birthday parties

875
01:10:21.260 --> 01:10:24.660
that I did not get invited to do.

876
01:10:24.660 --> 01:10:25.500
Okay.

877
01:10:26.480 --> 01:10:30.940
During, even though you've done work around this before,

878
01:10:30.940 --> 01:10:33.920
during the heartwork, have you, let's just say,

879
01:10:36.700 --> 01:10:41.280
whoever the first kid is that you thought was your friend,

880
01:10:41.280 --> 01:10:43.600
but then didn't invite you to their birthday party,

881
01:10:43.600 --> 01:10:45.560
have you forgiven them?

882
01:10:45.560 --> 01:10:46.800
No.

883
01:10:46.800 --> 01:10:48.360
Yeah, I think we have to start

884
01:10:48.360 --> 01:10:50.160
all the way back there, Kristen.

885
01:10:50.160 --> 01:10:51.000
Okay.

886
01:10:51.000 --> 01:10:53.200
Because the reality is, you know,

887
01:10:53.580 --> 01:10:55.380
some friendships are just going to be seasonal.

888
01:10:55.380 --> 01:10:56.220
Okay.

889
01:10:56.220 --> 01:10:59.640
Let's just say that's the reality of some friendships.

890
01:10:59.640 --> 01:11:02.940
But somewhere along the way you partnered with

891
01:11:03.900 --> 01:11:07.420
that you cannot have friends long-term,

892
01:11:07.420 --> 01:11:11.060
that you're not capable of having them and keeping them,

893
01:11:11.060 --> 01:11:13.300
or they don't love you the same way you love them,

894
01:11:13.300 --> 01:11:14.820
which might be actually true.

895
01:11:14.820 --> 01:11:18.660
You might've like, as a young kid, been a big giver

896
01:11:19.680 --> 01:11:22.220
because of dynamics and things you learned.

897
01:11:22.240 --> 01:11:26.000
And so as you heal, you know, you might realize like,

898
01:11:26.000 --> 01:11:28.640
yeah, everybody doesn't give the same,

899
01:11:28.640 --> 01:11:30.760
but that doesn't mean you're not capable

900
01:11:30.760 --> 01:11:34.000
of having a friend that is going to be a really good friend

901
01:11:34.000 --> 01:11:36.500
and that you can have for more than just a season.

902
01:11:37.880 --> 01:11:39.240
But I really-

903
01:11:39.240 --> 01:11:40.120
Go ahead.

904
01:11:40.120 --> 01:11:45.120
As an adult now that I have other friendships,

905
01:11:45.560 --> 01:11:50.560
I feel guilty sometimes that I,

906
01:11:52.520 --> 01:11:54.400
I don't know how to articulate this well,

907
01:11:54.400 --> 01:11:59.040
but like being able to express myself feels needy

908
01:11:59.040 --> 01:12:02.000
and I don't want to be a needy friend

909
01:12:02.000 --> 01:12:06.480
that I would be a burden to somebody.

910
01:12:06.480 --> 01:12:11.480
And so I struggle with jealousy in that way sometimes,

911
01:12:12.840 --> 01:12:14.720
even with adult friendships.

912
01:12:15.640 --> 01:12:20.120
And I recognize that and I take those thoughts captive

913
01:12:20.120 --> 01:12:22.140
because I know it's not true,

914
01:12:24.820 --> 01:12:27.660
but like I have all this inner dialogue

915
01:12:27.660 --> 01:12:30.140
that happens in my head about,

916
01:12:30.140 --> 01:12:31.420
I want to connect with them,

917
01:12:31.420 --> 01:12:33.160
but I don't want to seem like I'm needy

918
01:12:33.160 --> 01:12:35.840
that I need to connect with them.

919
01:12:37.520 --> 01:12:41.180
And so I just feel silly sometimes about it.

920
01:12:41.180 --> 01:12:42.460
So let me ask you a question.

921
01:12:42.460 --> 01:12:47.140
Why do you think it will be too needy to want to connect

922
01:12:47.140 --> 01:12:49.540
and to actually admit that to yourself?

923
01:12:49.920 --> 01:12:53.880
Is it because you have a pain and a wound

924
01:12:53.880 --> 01:12:56.120
that you need them to help you process?

925
01:12:56.120 --> 01:12:59.480
Or is it that you believe the lie

926
01:12:59.480 --> 01:13:02.760
that it's not okay for you to actually want to connect

927
01:13:02.760 --> 01:13:04.860
with a friend on a deeper level?

928
01:13:08.220 --> 01:13:10.440
I want to connect with a friend at a deeper level.

929
01:13:10.440 --> 01:13:13.080
I can go deep really fast,

930
01:13:13.080 --> 01:13:15.680
but not everybody else is prepared for that.

931
01:13:15.680 --> 01:13:16.520
And like-

932
01:13:16.520 --> 01:13:17.560
But what does that mean to you?

933
01:13:17.580 --> 01:13:19.460
When you say I can go deep really fast,

934
01:13:19.460 --> 01:13:21.020
tell me what that means to you.

935
01:13:23.420 --> 01:13:28.420
Like, I want to connect in a way that is spiritual,

936
01:13:30.820 --> 01:13:34.260
is like a sisterly connection.

937
01:13:34.260 --> 01:13:35.940
I want to be able to pray with people

938
01:13:35.940 --> 01:13:40.380
and be vulnerable about things in my life

939
01:13:40.380 --> 01:13:42.420
and allow them to do that for me

940
01:13:42.600 --> 01:13:47.600
instead of all the just like surface conversation.

941
01:13:49.440 --> 01:13:52.320
So part of the journey for you is going to be,

942
01:13:52.320 --> 01:13:54.040
it doesn't mean you can't have those friends

943
01:13:54.040 --> 01:13:56.560
or that there's not going to be those kinds of friends,

944
01:13:56.560 --> 01:13:58.000
but this is going to probably show up

945
01:13:58.000 --> 01:13:59.920
for you in dating as well.

946
01:13:59.920 --> 01:14:00.760
Yep.

947
01:14:00.760 --> 01:14:02.440
Okay, so all my ladies that you're like,

948
01:14:02.440 --> 01:14:05.520
I don't like surface conversations,

949
01:14:05.520 --> 01:14:07.560
tune in to what I'm saying right now.

950
01:14:08.680 --> 01:14:10.980
Okay, here's the reality.

951
01:14:11.000 --> 01:14:16.000
We have to learn the right times to release information

952
01:14:18.480 --> 01:14:20.680
and the right pace to go at

953
01:14:20.680 --> 01:14:23.240
and understand that some people

954
01:14:23.240 --> 01:14:24.480
are going to come into our lives

955
01:14:24.480 --> 01:14:27.200
for us to have a surface conversation with them

956
01:14:27.200 --> 01:14:28.680
for a purpose.

957
01:14:28.680 --> 01:14:29.600
And then other people,

958
01:14:29.600 --> 01:14:31.480
we are going to be able to like share,

959
01:14:31.480 --> 01:14:34.640
you know, a heart regarding the Lord and all that.

960
01:14:34.640 --> 01:14:39.440
Now, if we, you know, go into a dating relationship,

961
01:14:39.980 --> 01:14:41.100
or even a friendship,

962
01:14:41.100 --> 01:14:43.620
this can happen with a friendship too.

963
01:14:43.620 --> 01:14:47.500
If we're just feeling like we need to share our pain

964
01:14:47.500 --> 01:14:50.660
or trauma, or even like we go through something hard at work

965
01:14:50.660 --> 01:14:52.060
and we just kind of like,

966
01:14:52.060 --> 01:14:53.200
and I'm not saying you're doing this,

967
01:14:53.200 --> 01:14:55.380
but Christian, I'm just giving this as an example.

968
01:14:55.380 --> 01:14:57.100
We just kind of like, blah,

969
01:14:57.100 --> 01:15:00.180
throw up on them about what we're going through.

970
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.000
What can happen is we can trauma bond with people, okay?

971
01:15:05.320 --> 01:15:08.440
And that's not healthy.

972
01:15:08.440 --> 01:15:12.120
But then some people are so afraid of sharing anything

973
01:15:12.120 --> 01:15:15.320
or admitting that they want connection

974
01:15:16.400 --> 01:15:19.920
that they get into cycles like what you're talking about.

975
01:15:19.920 --> 01:15:21.840
So are you and your sister close?

976
01:15:21.840 --> 01:15:26.840
We're close in the fact that we get together a lot

977
01:15:28.680 --> 01:15:30.880
and our family gets together,

978
01:15:30.880 --> 01:15:35.360
but we don't share things of our heart very well.

979
01:15:35.360 --> 01:15:37.420
That gets very awkward.

980
01:15:37.420 --> 01:15:40.000
Okay, and you said your mom,

981
01:15:40.000 --> 01:15:41.760
you couldn't trust her with your heart.

982
01:15:41.760 --> 01:15:43.680
So there's two people in your life,

983
01:15:43.680 --> 01:15:47.440
in your close proximity that you believed

984
01:15:47.440 --> 01:15:50.400
you could not share the depths of your heart with.

985
01:15:51.280 --> 01:15:53.960
All right, so forgiveness sheets.

986
01:15:55.120 --> 01:15:58.240
Even though I'm not saying, your sister,

987
01:15:58.240 --> 01:16:00.160
I don't know what the dynamics are.

988
01:16:00.160 --> 01:16:04.000
Not that it was wrong for her to not go with you.

989
01:16:04.000 --> 01:16:06.240
I think there is some forgiveness that needs to happen

990
01:16:06.240 --> 01:16:09.320
regarding like forgiving your sister, forgiving your mom

991
01:16:10.680 --> 01:16:13.440
and really releasing them from the expectation

992
01:16:13.440 --> 01:16:16.700
of what that needs to look like, right?

993
01:16:17.600 --> 01:16:19.600
Forgiving your mom for teasing you

994
01:16:19.640 --> 01:16:22.540
when you did share your heart with her.

995
01:16:23.840 --> 01:16:24.800
And then, like I said,

996
01:16:24.800 --> 01:16:27.240
even though it seems like a simple thing,

997
01:16:27.240 --> 01:16:29.560
I really do want you to forgive any kids

998
01:16:29.560 --> 01:16:33.380
that didn't invite you to birthday parties

999
01:16:33.380 --> 01:16:35.200
where you felt like, oh my gosh,

1000
01:16:35.200 --> 01:16:36.400
I thought they were my friend

1001
01:16:36.400 --> 01:16:39.600
and they kind of backstabbed me or left me out

1002
01:16:39.600 --> 01:16:43.040
or where you're just kind of working through those

1003
01:16:43.040 --> 01:16:45.300
and it might feel tedious,

1004
01:16:45.300 --> 01:16:46.800
but I think it's gonna be really important

1005
01:16:46.800 --> 01:16:48.680
for your healing journey, Kristen,

1006
01:16:48.720 --> 01:16:51.200
because what that's gonna do,

1007
01:16:52.100 --> 01:16:55.000
you have to think about it, ladies, from this perspective,

1008
01:16:56.160 --> 01:17:01.160
we gotta get to the foundation and heal the foundation.

1009
01:17:01.400 --> 01:17:03.160
And as we do that with the Lord,

1010
01:17:03.160 --> 01:17:06.120
all the other stuff will start to heal as well.

1011
01:17:06.120 --> 01:17:07.320
It really will.

1012
01:17:07.320 --> 01:17:09.840
And so that's why we wanna get to the root of the matter.

1013
01:17:09.840 --> 01:17:11.240
She learned at a young age

1014
01:17:11.240 --> 01:17:14.240
that connection wasn't actually safe with certain people,

1015
01:17:14.240 --> 01:17:16.320
especially people that were close to her.

1016
01:17:16.320 --> 01:17:19.520
And so what's happening from my perspective

1017
01:17:20.580 --> 01:17:21.840
is she believed the lie

1018
01:17:21.840 --> 01:17:26.160
that even if she wants to get close to people, she can't,

1019
01:17:26.160 --> 01:17:27.440
because she learned that with her mom

1020
01:17:27.440 --> 01:17:28.720
and she learned that with her sister.

1021
01:17:28.720 --> 01:17:30.000
And then there were probably other things

1022
01:17:30.000 --> 01:17:32.160
like with these friends, it was reinforced.

1023
01:17:32.160 --> 01:17:34.240
So the more she believed that lie,

1024
01:17:35.080 --> 01:17:39.880
the less she was able to actually attract friends

1025
01:17:40.920 --> 01:17:44.080
that are healthy and that can go to those places.

1026
01:17:44.080 --> 01:17:46.120
Do you see how that works?

1027
01:17:46.800 --> 01:17:49.360
So let us know, work on some of that.

1028
01:17:49.360 --> 01:17:51.000
Let us know how it goes.

1029
01:17:51.000 --> 01:17:52.880
If more stuff comes up,

1030
01:17:52.880 --> 01:17:55.680
you can come in the group and post about it.

1031
01:17:55.680 --> 01:17:57.240
Myself or the team will respond.

1032
01:17:57.240 --> 01:18:00.040
You can come back on next week or whatever is fine too.

1033
01:18:01.160 --> 01:18:02.280
All right, you did great.

1034
01:18:02.280 --> 01:18:03.920
Great job.

1035
01:18:03.920 --> 01:18:05.400
It's gonna be good.

1036
01:18:05.400 --> 01:18:06.720
Amy Groves.

1037
01:18:09.520 --> 01:18:10.360
Hi.

1038
01:18:11.360 --> 01:18:16.360
Hi, crap, I was hoping I wouldn't get picked actually.

1039
01:18:17.080 --> 01:18:17.920
Why?

1040
01:18:19.480 --> 01:18:21.320
Well, actually my son was just down here.

1041
01:18:21.320 --> 01:18:23.680
So I was like, oh, I'm gonna put my hand down.

1042
01:18:25.760 --> 01:18:26.600
Why?

1043
01:18:26.600 --> 01:18:29.120
Because it's my first time trying to do this with you.

1044
01:18:29.120 --> 01:18:30.440
That's all right.

1045
01:18:33.240 --> 01:18:35.320
I guess this was really good though.

1046
01:18:35.320 --> 01:18:37.280
Thank you everyone who shared before me.

1047
01:18:37.280 --> 01:18:38.680
I learned a lot.

1048
01:18:39.240 --> 01:18:41.120
There was a lot of things connecting.

1049
01:18:44.480 --> 01:18:47.560
I guess the question,

1050
01:18:48.640 --> 01:18:51.640
it's funny because this morning I pulled out this sheet.

1051
01:18:51.640 --> 01:18:53.760
So I just started section four.

1052
01:18:53.760 --> 01:18:54.600
Okay.

1053
01:18:54.600 --> 01:18:57.120
And there's a line in section four

1054
01:18:57.120 --> 01:19:01.480
that's talking about being,

1055
01:19:04.480 --> 01:19:05.880
it's under your God's dream.

1056
01:19:05.880 --> 01:19:07.400
It says, it doesn't matter what story

1057
01:19:07.400 --> 01:19:10.320
you have been told about how you were conceived.

1058
01:19:11.360 --> 01:19:16.360
And I had to stop because,

1059
01:19:21.200 --> 01:19:24.760
because I started to experience some feelings about that

1060
01:19:24.760 --> 01:19:28.160
because yeah, like this book is talking about me,

1061
01:19:28.160 --> 01:19:31.120
but I'm a parent of two children.

1062
01:19:31.120 --> 01:19:32.720
Both of them have separate fathers

1063
01:19:32.720 --> 01:19:34.200
and I've never been married.

1064
01:19:38.000 --> 01:19:40.640
And just to get to the quick of it,

1065
01:19:40.640 --> 01:19:45.280
I've told my children that they were conceived by mistake.

1066
01:19:48.440 --> 01:19:50.760
I haven't used those words.

1067
01:19:50.760 --> 01:19:52.080
Yeah.

1068
01:19:52.080 --> 01:19:55.200
But I've shared with them, like, don't do what mommy did.

1069
01:19:56.120 --> 01:19:58.400
The condoms were right on the night table.

1070
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:09.000
It was a mistake and the reality was it wasn't a mistake and I had to get honest about that many years ago.

1071
01:20:09.000 --> 01:20:15.000
I knew I could get pregnant, but what happened this morning,

1072
01:20:15.000 --> 01:20:23.000
because of the work that I've been doing, I really had to tell myself the truth

1073
01:20:23.000 --> 01:20:29.000
that my children were planned and I was looking at their pictures

1074
01:20:29.000 --> 01:20:34.000
and so I didn't get to share that with anybody

1075
01:20:34.000 --> 01:20:38.000
because as I started this journey with the heart work in the beginning of January,

1076
01:20:38.000 --> 01:20:46.000
a lot in my life has changed and my distractions have become very much less.

1077
01:20:46.000 --> 01:20:50.000
I stopped going to church and stopped believing in God,

1078
01:20:50.000 --> 01:20:53.000
but I stopped going to small group and I stopped going to church.

1079
01:20:54.000 --> 01:20:58.000
And not only that, just to be fully transparent,

1080
01:20:58.000 --> 01:21:04.000
I've been clean almost 29 years in Narcotics Anonymous

1081
01:21:04.000 --> 01:21:07.000
and I made a conscious decision at the beginning of this year

1082
01:21:07.000 --> 01:21:11.000
to no longer advise an addict as a result of this program.

1083
01:21:11.000 --> 01:21:15.000
And that may sound crazy and I don't want to just dump,

1084
01:21:15.000 --> 01:21:20.000
but there's been a lot of healing that has happened through this heart work.

1085
01:21:20.000 --> 01:21:30.000
So, just having to really have the healing and the honesty

1086
01:21:30.000 --> 01:21:36.000
to extinguish the lie that my children were not planned

1087
01:21:36.000 --> 01:21:41.000
and that's been what I've told myself for 21 years that my children weren't planned

1088
01:21:41.000 --> 01:21:47.000
was a lie that they were planned and there was a reason they were conceived.

1089
01:21:47.000 --> 01:21:50.000
So, it's just dismantling all these things attached to men.

1090
01:21:50.000 --> 01:21:55.000
I haven't dated in seven years, I guess.

1091
01:21:55.000 --> 01:21:57.000
I'm scared to death to date.

1092
01:21:57.000 --> 01:22:05.000
And I will say one more thing that I met a guy at the haircuttery last night.

1093
01:22:08.000 --> 01:22:12.000
He's 34. I'm about to turn 50.

1094
01:22:13.000 --> 01:22:19.000
And what we're talking about tonight, he said I was beautiful.

1095
01:22:19.000 --> 01:22:23.000
These things are foreign to me.

1096
01:22:23.000 --> 01:22:30.000
So, I haven't raised my hand and I don't even know if I need feedback,

1097
01:22:30.000 --> 01:22:38.000
but ladies, this is remarkable healing that is happening in my life.

1098
01:22:39.000 --> 01:22:46.000
And I just keep showing up and making a priority in person in my group.

1099
01:22:47.000 --> 01:22:51.000
I've really just had to get rid of, I say that prayer every time,

1100
01:22:51.000 --> 01:22:55.000
every day when I wake up and I say, this is my time.

1101
01:22:55.000 --> 01:22:58.000
And I ask Father God and I just read that prayer,

1102
01:22:58.000 --> 01:23:05.000
my declaration prayer or promise or whatever it is in the very beginning.

1103
01:23:05.000 --> 01:23:10.000
And I have to say no to things that distract me

1104
01:23:10.000 --> 01:23:15.000
and take me away from just focusing on me.

1105
01:23:15.000 --> 01:23:18.000
So, anyway, that was a lot.

1106
01:23:18.000 --> 01:23:20.000
And my son was just down here.

1107
01:23:20.000 --> 01:23:23.000
And I really want to sit my kids down eventually and tell them,

1108
01:23:23.000 --> 01:23:25.000
I lied to you.

1109
01:23:27.000 --> 01:23:30.000
One of the things I want to help you with though,

1110
01:23:30.000 --> 01:23:34.000
I think what you can communicate is I'm realizing

1111
01:23:34.000 --> 01:23:37.000
that the way I said that could have been hurtful.

1112
01:23:38.000 --> 01:23:40.000
Because you were trying to communicate to them

1113
01:23:40.000 --> 01:23:45.000
that you want them to have sex inside of the safety of covenant.

1114
01:23:48.000 --> 01:23:51.000
So, I don't fully think what you were trying to,

1115
01:23:51.000 --> 01:23:53.000
based off of what I've heard you say,

1116
01:23:53.000 --> 01:23:57.000
that you were trying to communicate something that was a lie,

1117
01:23:57.000 --> 01:24:00.000
but how we convey something to someone

1118
01:24:00.000 --> 01:24:03.000
can come out in a way that we didn't intend.

1119
01:24:04.000 --> 01:24:07.000
And I think that's what I would own,

1120
01:24:07.000 --> 01:24:09.000
based off of what you're telling me.

1121
01:24:09.000 --> 01:24:12.000
I would own that maybe I communicated in a way,

1122
01:24:12.000 --> 01:24:14.000
as I've been thinking about it,

1123
01:24:14.000 --> 01:24:17.000
and be careful to not just put that on them.

1124
01:24:17.000 --> 01:24:19.000
I would ask them.

1125
01:24:19.000 --> 01:24:22.000
You can say, as I've been praying about this and processing it,

1126
01:24:22.000 --> 01:24:26.000
I'm really thinking that what I said could have been very hurtful.

1127
01:24:26.000 --> 01:24:29.000
And I want you to know that God planned you.

1128
01:24:30.000 --> 01:24:33.000
Whatever you feel about the fact

1129
01:24:33.000 --> 01:24:35.000
that what God is showing you about them,

1130
01:24:35.000 --> 01:24:37.000
and sharing that with them,

1131
01:24:37.000 --> 01:24:39.000
and see how they feel about it.

1132
01:24:39.000 --> 01:24:42.000
Because then you're going to really be able to process with them

1133
01:24:42.000 --> 01:24:44.000
and help them even learn heart work.

1134
01:24:45.000 --> 01:24:47.000
Because I tell people all the time,

1135
01:24:47.000 --> 01:24:51.000
we can teach our kids as we're healing on their level.

1136
01:24:53.000 --> 01:24:56.000
But be careful to feel like you have to.

1137
01:24:56.000 --> 01:25:00.000
Sometimes what can happen is we'll do a pendulum swing.

1138
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.480
right? When we realize something like, like, I need that wasn't great. So I need to fix that.

1139
01:25:06.480 --> 01:25:11.920
And then we swing too far and try to and it's like an overcorrection that's too big. Yeah.

1140
01:25:11.920 --> 01:25:17.120
So just as you're really pray, I would write it out even just to help yourself process like,

1141
01:25:17.840 --> 01:25:23.440
what would really be a healthy thing to say to them? Because you still want them to understand

1142
01:25:23.440 --> 01:25:29.200
that you, I think, believe I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, believe in sex inside of a

1143
01:25:29.200 --> 01:25:34.880
covenant marriage, and that that's what you're looking for in the future. And that's what you

1144
01:25:34.880 --> 01:25:39.680
hope they would look for. Again, I'm not putting words in your mouth. But if that is the case,

1145
01:25:40.240 --> 01:25:43.520
you know, depending on their age, how old are your kids?

1146
01:25:47.360 --> 01:25:53.680
21 and 15. Okay, so they can totally they get it. You can have those full conversations. And

1147
01:25:53.680 --> 01:26:00.320
you know that that's what you want for them. And just, you know, really own that, you know,

1148
01:26:00.960 --> 01:26:04.160
I've realized the way I said that it really could have been hurtful.

1149
01:26:05.600 --> 01:26:09.840
And start there. And let's see where the Lord leads you with that. And I appreciate everything

1150
01:26:09.840 --> 01:26:19.040
that you shared. I did want to ask you, just so that I can understand. So when you said you

1151
01:26:19.040 --> 01:26:22.880
stopped going to church and stopped going to small group, can you tell me more about that?

1152
01:26:22.880 --> 01:26:31.040
Did you feel like things were being communicated there that weren't healthy? Was? Did you feel

1153
01:26:31.040 --> 01:26:34.880
like for some reason, church was a distraction? So help me understand more of that context,

1154
01:26:34.880 --> 01:26:46.480
just so I can support you more in that. So honestly, on November 3, November 30 2025.

1155
01:26:46.480 --> 01:26:52.720
I read john 15. Yeah, read it before many, many, many, many times over the 20.

1156
01:26:54.960 --> 01:26:57.200
Five years, I've been Christian.

1157
01:27:00.320 --> 01:27:09.440
And it hit different. And I the way I read it, I recognize that I thought God,

1158
01:27:10.000 --> 01:27:19.520
Jesus was conditionally loving. Because I'm what if I don't abide in you, I get lopped off. I read

1159
01:27:19.520 --> 01:27:26.400
it differently than I've ever read it before. Without my permission. I read it. And on November

1160
01:27:26.400 --> 01:27:35.200
30. Something changed. And I don't think it was spiritual. Like it wasn't Satan. I think it's God.

1161
01:27:35.280 --> 01:27:40.960
I think it's God. And I think it's drawing me closer to my authentic self and who I really

1162
01:27:40.960 --> 01:27:44.720
am and coming out of hiding. And I think it's great that I'm in chapter four,

1163
01:27:44.720 --> 01:27:50.560
or section four. But what had happened was a flame went out in me. I couldn't stand the

1164
01:27:50.560 --> 01:27:56.800
word Jesus for a few months. I got honest that I don't think that Jesus is the only way to heaven.

1165
01:27:57.120 --> 01:28:04.240
And I don't know if I believe in hell. And I was like, Oh, my God. I can't think these things.

1166
01:28:04.240 --> 01:28:09.840
I can't say these things. I can't do this. This should not be what I'm thinking. But it was.

1167
01:28:12.080 --> 01:28:14.560
So and that led you to a quick one to your church.

1168
01:28:16.320 --> 01:28:21.360
So January, I bought this program back in November. Yeah. January, I decided to commit

1169
01:28:22.320 --> 01:28:28.160
to doing this program. Okay. And why I stopped going to church was I was like, you know what?

1170
01:28:30.080 --> 01:28:33.200
I think I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna slow down.

1171
01:28:35.840 --> 01:28:41.440
And I'm just gonna, I'm gonna really get to, I'm gonna find out what I really believe.

1172
01:28:42.880 --> 01:28:46.160
Not what I think I should believe and what I've been taught to believe.

1173
01:28:47.120 --> 01:28:53.120
What do I really believe? Because I love people. And God is love.

1174
01:28:55.360 --> 01:28:59.680
And I so it's been a journey. And so that's why I stopped going to church. I actually went back

1175
01:28:59.680 --> 01:29:04.400
this week. I've been back. I've been back. Okay. Well, the reason I'm spending a little time with

1176
01:29:04.400 --> 01:29:11.760
you on it is that there are times where people will realize the church that they're in that

1177
01:29:12.000 --> 01:29:17.440
there is a lot of religiousness to it. Okay. And they might feel led to make a change. We really

1178
01:29:17.440 --> 01:29:22.320
recommend for people to, it sounds like you made that change before you came into the heartwork.

1179
01:29:22.320 --> 01:29:26.800
But just for anybody listening, we would really recommend people not make big changes in their

1180
01:29:26.800 --> 01:29:32.960
life, like moves, jobs, changing churches until you're all the way done with the heartwork.

1181
01:29:33.520 --> 01:29:38.800
Because what happens when we're in the heartwork is all kinds of stuff is getting stirred up all

1182
01:29:38.800 --> 01:29:46.160
over the place. And so there is kind of a recalibration, if you will. And so you already,

1183
01:29:46.160 --> 01:29:49.840
it sounds like chose that before you came into the heartwork. And it sounds like God is kind of

1184
01:29:49.840 --> 01:29:57.040
helping you kind of resettle. But what I wanted to make sure wasn't happening is that sometimes,

1185
01:29:58.800 --> 01:29:59.920
again, in our over

1186
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.200
or correction, we can just start hacking things off from our lives, right?

1187
01:30:05.040 --> 01:30:07.200
And I'm not saying God isn't big enough to handle that.

1188
01:30:07.260 --> 01:30:12.980
Um, he is, and I know that he can lead you into everything he has for you.

1189
01:30:13.500 --> 01:30:17.820
Um, we don't have to go into, I'm really glad that you shared number

1190
01:30:17.820 --> 01:30:20.020
one, openly and transparently.

1191
01:30:20.020 --> 01:30:21.180
I think that's awesome.

1192
01:30:21.660 --> 01:30:29.060
Um, one thing that I think is important is that if we look at scripture,

1193
01:30:29.500 --> 01:30:34.200
scripture does say that Jesus is the only way to heaven.

1194
01:30:34.720 --> 01:30:37.980
And so we can rely on what scripture says regarding that.

1195
01:30:37.980 --> 01:30:42.380
So I'd encourage you, um, as you're seeking the Lord about these things to

1196
01:30:42.380 --> 01:30:45.620
really look into what scripture says about that, okay.

1197
01:30:47.000 --> 01:30:53.300
Um, because I just want to make sure as you're in kind of this healing

1198
01:30:53.300 --> 01:30:59.560
phase, that the enemy doesn't lead you away from the truth in that area.

1199
01:31:00.640 --> 01:31:04.760
So, um, but I think you're doing great and I love everything that you shared

1200
01:31:04.760 --> 01:31:09.600
and I'm excited to hear how the conversations go with your kids.

1201
01:31:10.180 --> 01:31:13.780
Um, this is huge stuff that you're processing and I'm, I'm glad that

1202
01:31:13.780 --> 01:31:16.400
you're feeling excited about life.

1203
01:31:16.400 --> 01:31:20.260
And you know, you're not, you know, we, none of us, I don't think ever want to

1204
01:31:20.260 --> 01:31:25.980
get into the monotonous of life where we just feel like we're just every day we

1205
01:31:25.980 --> 01:31:29.040
wake up and do the same thing or feel the same thing or think it's the same thing.

1206
01:31:29.040 --> 01:31:30.820
So the awakening is happening.

1207
01:31:31.260 --> 01:31:32.740
Keep us posted on that.

1208
01:31:33.540 --> 01:31:38.220
And, uh, we can celebrate you with you after you've had those conversations.

1209
01:31:38.220 --> 01:31:38.720
Okay.

1210
01:31:39.620 --> 01:31:40.180
Awesome.

1211
01:31:40.420 --> 01:31:42.080
Thank you so much for sharing again.

1212
01:31:42.340 --> 01:31:47.560
And ladies don't feel like, um, if you share something, you know, like that

1213
01:31:48.460 --> 01:31:52.780
on that one, I am going to lovingly just direct you in that because I know what

1214
01:31:52.780 --> 01:31:57.520
the tree says about it and I, it would not be good for me to not mention that,

1215
01:31:57.520 --> 01:32:01.700
but I don't ever want anyone to get afraid of mentioning this stuff because

1216
01:32:01.700 --> 01:32:07.660
while we are, we run a business, you know, we are a ministry and we want to

1217
01:32:07.660 --> 01:32:09.440
point people to the truth for sure.

1218
01:32:09.800 --> 01:32:11.600
So love you.

1219
01:32:11.600 --> 01:32:12.720
So glad that you're here.

1220
01:32:12.720 --> 01:32:16.000
And I'm so glad that you shared that tonight, Teresa, go ahead.

1221
01:32:18.400 --> 01:32:19.120
My destiny.

1222
01:32:19.280 --> 01:32:19.640
Okay.

1223
01:32:19.640 --> 01:32:27.520
So, um, I joined this program last fall and really have struggled to step into

1224
01:32:27.520 --> 01:32:36.840
it and just surrendered the white flag the last couple of weeks and who, um,

1225
01:32:39.200 --> 01:32:46.360
one thing earlier today, as I leaned into what God was speaking, I realized

1226
01:32:47.280 --> 01:32:51.560
I have this deep desire to be married, but I have a deep fear of dating.

1227
01:32:53.440 --> 01:33:01.760
And, um, he gently led me through, um, what I felt like just a realization

1228
01:33:01.760 --> 01:33:10.320
that I have a fear of, uh, that's related to trust of men, uh, to be

1229
01:33:10.320 --> 01:33:16.720
close to me in an intimate way because people I love have either abused me

1230
01:33:16.720 --> 01:33:22.080
sexually beat, whatever that about every type of abuse there could be.

1231
01:33:22.560 --> 01:33:26.240
And I couldn't think of a single man in my life that hasn't either

1232
01:33:26.240 --> 01:33:30.040
abused me or deeply, um, betrayed me.

1233
01:33:31.600 --> 01:33:39.880
And, um, I was married for 26 years to a man who wouldn't barely would

1234
01:33:39.880 --> 01:33:44.840
touch me, um, and there was a whole lot to that.

1235
01:33:45.960 --> 01:33:52.680
Um, so I just have such a, there's a lot that I need to heal, even though

1236
01:33:52.680 --> 01:33:54.480
I've done, I'm part of a healing team.

1237
01:33:54.480 --> 01:33:56.200
I'm part of a healing ministry.

1238
01:33:56.760 --> 01:34:03.280
And yet this piece, this, this intimate with the husband thing, getting that

1239
01:34:03.280 --> 01:34:08.280
right, I'm just surrendering to God to, to break some of these lies.

1240
01:34:08.280 --> 01:34:15.040
But the biggest one today I realized was I didn't know how much, um, I didn't

1241
01:34:15.040 --> 01:34:21.080
think, uh, there's this lie I've been believing that I cannot trust a man to

1242
01:34:21.080 --> 01:34:26.400
be close to me in an intimate way, brotherly love got a lot of brothers,

1243
01:34:27.720 --> 01:34:31.840
but to allow someone to be close enough that I could be deeply

1244
01:34:31.840 --> 01:34:33.720
hurt again, that's my struggle.

1245
01:34:34.840 --> 01:34:38.200
Yeah, man, love is a risk, right?

1246
01:34:38.520 --> 01:34:38.920
Yeah.

1247
01:34:39.000 --> 01:34:44.120
And, you know, just to encourage you in my first marriage, you know, that

1248
01:34:44.120 --> 01:34:47.040
is kind of how it was very similar.

1249
01:34:48.120 --> 01:34:53.480
Um, and I am learning, there's just so much, so much goodness when a guy is

1250
01:34:53.480 --> 01:34:59.880
healthy and, um, they understand and reciprocating love and, and not just.

1251
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.400
and sex, but like intimacy in all things, you know, yeah. And

1252
01:35:04.400 --> 01:35:08.240
so God has that for you. But I am really grateful that you are

1253
01:35:08.240 --> 01:35:13.760
seeing and recognizing not just the aspect of because you it was

1254
01:35:13.760 --> 01:35:18.600
kind of two layered their fear about men being close to you.

1255
01:35:19.960 --> 01:35:25.200
But then you said I cannot trust that if I let a man close that

1256
01:35:25.200 --> 01:35:28.920
he won't hurt me. So there's two layers there. Yeah. As you're

1257
01:35:28.920 --> 01:35:32.800
working through this, you know, really continue to ask the Lord

1258
01:35:32.800 --> 01:35:36.840
to come into the place. I mean, I would even encourage you to

1259
01:35:36.840 --> 01:35:40.040
ask God to show you where you like Jesus, where were you when

1260
01:35:40.040 --> 01:35:44.680
my husband was neglecting me in this way? And what do you want

1261
01:35:44.680 --> 01:35:49.640
to tell me about it? Like where you hear Jesus's voice about

1262
01:35:49.640 --> 01:35:53.240
that situation, because that's where some of the promise of

1263
01:35:53.240 --> 01:35:56.640
what's to come for you is going to come out of as well. You

1264
01:35:56.640 --> 01:36:00.240
know, the healing from that is going to fuel the truth of what

1265
01:36:00.240 --> 01:36:04.000
you believe in the future. You know, it's not it to me, it is

1266
01:36:04.000 --> 01:36:07.520
different. But like even women that when when we've had sex

1267
01:36:07.520 --> 01:36:10.360
outside of marriage, and, you know, we have relationship, you

1268
01:36:10.360 --> 01:36:14.000
know, really believing that God has somebody that is willing to

1269
01:36:14.000 --> 01:36:18.520
fight for that covenant with us can be a struggle, right?

1270
01:36:19.040 --> 01:36:23.760
Because we haven't known that in the past. But God wants to show

1271
01:36:23.760 --> 01:36:28.800
us the fullness of His promise in every area of our lives. God

1272
01:36:28.800 --> 01:36:34.160
never intended for your marriage to have such a lack of intimacy

1273
01:36:34.160 --> 01:36:38.520
and connection, and for you to be neglected and really abused

1274
01:36:38.520 --> 01:36:44.360
in that way. Because withholding love is a form of abuse. And so

1275
01:36:44.640 --> 01:36:48.160
really want to encourage you this week. Again, even if

1276
01:36:48.160 --> 01:36:51.280
you've already forgiven your ex, I would even say it wouldn't

1277
01:36:51.280 --> 01:36:55.640
hurt to do another forgiveness prayer sheet. And even Teresa,

1278
01:36:55.640 --> 01:36:59.040
what's coming up? I don't know if you've ever done this. It's

1279
01:36:59.040 --> 01:37:03.480
not your fault that that happened. But on some level, at

1280
01:37:03.480 --> 01:37:06.800
least from my experience, I had to forgive myself for staying.

1281
01:37:07.160 --> 01:37:12.360
Like my marriage, I was married to my ex for 12 years. And it

1282
01:37:12.360 --> 01:37:18.040
was 12 years too long. But I was so afraid of getting divorced

1283
01:37:18.040 --> 01:37:20.360
and being like, because I didn't believe in divorce. And I was

1284
01:37:20.360 --> 01:37:27.040
trying to make it work. But in those last few years, man, there

1285
01:37:27.040 --> 01:37:29.480
were some really scary stuff going on. And I just kept trying

1286
01:37:29.480 --> 01:37:36.960
to stay. So I had to forgive myself for some things and like

1287
01:37:37.000 --> 01:37:42.400
putting myself at risk in danger to try to stay. Now, you may not

1288
01:37:42.400 --> 01:37:46.040
have to but I just you know, like I said, sometimes even us

1289
01:37:46.040 --> 01:37:53.200
forgiving ourselves for being, you know, in those situations is

1290
01:37:53.200 --> 01:37:56.200
a huge part of things even though it was good that we were

1291
01:37:56.200 --> 01:37:58.400
fighting for marriage. Does that make sense?

1292
01:37:58.920 --> 01:38:02.640
Oh, yeah. And I volley between two I volley I go back and forth

1293
01:38:02.640 --> 01:38:07.480
between Lord forgive me for staying Lord forgive me for

1294
01:38:07.480 --> 01:38:11.600
getting a divorce because I'm the same. I didn't believe in

1295
01:38:11.600 --> 01:38:15.600
divorce. That's why I stayed and I felt the Lord's at times say

1296
01:38:15.600 --> 01:38:18.760
stay. And then I also felt him say, you're no longer safe. You

1297
01:38:18.760 --> 01:38:25.040
got to get out. Yeah. Yeah. I just I still struggle. I still

1298
01:38:25.040 --> 01:38:27.120
struggle with that. Like, I

1299
01:38:27.120 --> 01:38:33.080
believe that God rescued you. Yeah. Okay. So then when I what

1300
01:38:33.080 --> 01:38:36.600
I want to encourage you to do is just keep partnering with that.

1301
01:38:36.640 --> 01:38:40.240
Yeah, that's good. Part of it. Interestingly enough, I was

1302
01:38:40.240 --> 01:38:43.800
watching something today as I was resting and and being sick. And

1303
01:38:44.400 --> 01:38:49.200
this one scene was this, it was all about letting go. And they

1304
01:38:49.200 --> 01:38:54.000
were like, it's just time to let it go. I do think, you know,

1305
01:38:54.000 --> 01:38:57.040
sometimes we can process things so much and so much and so much.

1306
01:38:57.040 --> 01:39:00.560
And sometimes it's just that time, we've just got to let it

1307
01:39:00.560 --> 01:39:04.400
go and give ourselves permission to move forward. And I feel like

1308
01:39:04.400 --> 01:39:09.600
that might be the case for you. Like God protected you God, you

1309
01:39:09.600 --> 01:39:14.000
know, sustained you. And it sounds like he rescued you and

1310
01:39:14.000 --> 01:39:17.840
he has, you know, really beautiful things for you. And so

1311
01:39:17.840 --> 01:39:21.160
allowing yourself to just, you know, walk in that grace and

1312
01:39:21.160 --> 01:39:24.320
that truth in this next season is going to be a really good

1313
01:39:24.320 --> 01:39:29.080
thing. And so I'm excited for you. I'm excited to hear how

1314
01:39:29.080 --> 01:39:33.840
this goes. Way to go on jumping in and starting, you know, the

1315
01:39:33.840 --> 01:39:38.560
last few weeks to really get in there. Surrender. Keep us posted

1316
01:39:38.560 --> 01:39:40.040
on how this goes. Okay.

1317
01:39:40.320 --> 01:39:41.400
I will. Thank you.

1318
01:39:42.560 --> 01:39:45.760
Yeah, you're welcome. My pleasure. Jennifer, go ahead.

1319
01:39:49.120 --> 01:39:56.320
Hi. Hi. Um, so I will try to keep this brief. I'm in week

1320
01:39:56.320 --> 01:40:00.080
five now. And there was some things coming up.

1321
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:06.080
that I found a bit strange, but then I'm wondering if it's tied into some of the

1322
01:40:06.080 --> 01:40:10.560
things we've discussed in the past, like with the orphan mentality and coming out of alignment with

1323
01:40:10.560 --> 01:40:16.560
that, as I'm working toward completing week five and getting ready to go into phase two,

1324
01:40:16.560 --> 01:40:21.920
where I can relate to some of the things that have been shared, like the idea of dating,

1325
01:40:21.920 --> 01:40:29.200
not really dating at all, and then like the fear of physical intimacy and learning to be

1326
01:40:29.200 --> 01:40:35.120
comfortable with that, and then I was working through a journal prompt today about

1327
01:40:36.400 --> 01:40:42.400
the idea of dating, and it's a Christian-based journal concerning dating, and

1328
01:40:44.160 --> 01:40:48.160
something that struck me when I was reading through it and working through the prompt was

1329
01:40:48.960 --> 01:40:56.080
the sentence of, just because I've experienced rejection in the past doesn't mean I'm

1330
01:40:56.080 --> 01:41:02.240
unlovable, and I was wondering if, like starting to reflect on that, like I've never thought that

1331
01:41:02.240 --> 01:41:06.160
I was unlovable, but with what we've worked on with the past, with the orphan mentality,

1332
01:41:07.360 --> 01:41:11.520
if that is something that I maybe believed that I didn't realize I believed and how,

1333
01:41:12.240 --> 01:41:17.600
and that's also tied to why like the idea of dating and learning to

1334
01:41:18.960 --> 01:41:23.680
become gradually physically intimate with someone is the scary part of it.

1335
01:41:23.920 --> 01:41:30.640
Well, yeah, I think, number one, yes, I think 100%. If we go through rejection, we can partner with

1336
01:41:30.640 --> 01:41:40.160
I'm not lovable, and it can, what comes to mind, Jennifer, is the same way that we can fantasize

1337
01:41:40.160 --> 01:41:47.840
about something in a positive way. We can start to have, like if we are someone that is super creative

1338
01:41:48.800 --> 01:41:55.440
and we have an imagination, our minds can really run away with us. Yeah, I know that you are,

1339
01:41:56.640 --> 01:42:01.920
and so when I say fantasize, I don't want it to have this really negative connotation about it,

1340
01:42:01.920 --> 01:42:06.160
but some people can really like fantasize sexuality stuff. That's not what I'm talking about.

1341
01:42:06.960 --> 01:42:15.120
Like, for example, when I met my girl's dad, he had a nice house and a decent house,

1342
01:42:15.520 --> 01:42:21.440
way nicer than I had ever lived in as far as like, you know, with my ex and everything,

1343
01:42:22.880 --> 01:42:27.920
and so I just started fantasizing about like, oh, what kind of life we were going to have, and

1344
01:42:27.920 --> 01:42:33.040
all this stuff in my mind just ran away with me. Now, he did have that house, but that house was,

1345
01:42:33.040 --> 01:42:39.600
he was way in upside down in it and all kinds of things, but I fantasized who he was, and I had

1346
01:42:39.600 --> 01:42:45.600
this whole idea of it, right? But on the flip side, the reason I'm using that as an example is

1347
01:42:45.600 --> 01:42:52.800
I think we can also fantasize about negative things. So, like all the things we're afraid

1348
01:42:52.800 --> 01:42:57.120
are going to happen when we try to be intimate, all the things that are not going to go well,

1349
01:42:57.120 --> 01:43:00.400
you know, how am I going to feel about my body? It's going to be this, it's going to be this,

1350
01:43:00.400 --> 01:43:07.040
all these what ifs, it's really anxiousness and fear, but it partners and then our minds go down

1351
01:43:07.040 --> 01:43:11.200
fantasy lane of all the things we're going to experience or potential experience, and

1352
01:43:11.920 --> 01:43:15.600
am I even going to be lovable? Are they going to want to be with me? You know, like,

1353
01:43:15.600 --> 01:43:21.360
and so if your mind is going on those trails, remember, you want to kind of get back, where

1354
01:43:21.360 --> 01:43:29.680
did it start? Did it start with, I don't believe I'm lovable, or did it start with, I don't like my

1355
01:43:29.680 --> 01:43:38.720
body? You know, and maybe both, but where you're really getting to the root of like, what's causing

1356
01:43:38.720 --> 01:43:47.680
that, I don't want to say trickle effect, but that momentum to happen, where now you're afraid

1357
01:43:47.680 --> 01:43:51.520
to date because you're afraid if you date, then if you'd like someone, then you're going to have

1358
01:43:51.520 --> 01:43:57.680
to figure out how to be close to them. And, you know, and if that is somewhere our mind goes a

1359
01:43:57.680 --> 01:44:02.240
lot, what can happen? And this was the thing I almost forgot to say is this was, I heard the

1360
01:44:02.240 --> 01:44:11.520
Lord say it can create barriers, barriers to a lot of things, including forward motion. Okay.

1361
01:44:13.600 --> 01:44:19.760
Self-sabotage. Which I have dealt with and partly procrastinated in phase one.

1362
01:44:21.040 --> 01:44:25.920
And I talked to a lot of ladies in here about that. Like when people get to almost to the

1363
01:44:25.920 --> 01:44:30.240
finish line of phase, some people, you know, they fly through, they're like, we can't even keep them

1364
01:44:30.240 --> 01:44:34.880
here long enough to do their hard work. And then I have other people that they get towards the end

1365
01:44:34.880 --> 01:44:41.760
and they're terrified of dating, or they're not ready to forgive somebody, or there's several

1366
01:44:41.760 --> 01:44:47.120
different things, but those are a lot of the big things why people will then just start,

1367
01:44:47.120 --> 01:44:52.880
like they'll just quit doing the program. Or they'll take a really long time, or they'll,

1368
01:44:53.840 --> 01:44:58.640
you know, like partner with, I can't date, or I don't know how to date, or I'm not ready to date.

1369
01:44:58.640 --> 01:44:59.440
Here's the reality.

1370
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:03.840
Ladies, I want to just debunk all this, okay?

1371
01:45:03.840 --> 01:45:07.680
We do issue a dating challenge in phase two when you get there.

1372
01:45:07.680 --> 01:45:13.360
But if you don't feel led to do it right now, you don't have to do it.

1373
01:45:13.360 --> 01:45:19.520
Now some of you need to when you get there because you've been

1374
01:45:19.520 --> 01:45:25.600
partnering with FEAR for so long that you're learning that as a place of

1375
01:45:25.600 --> 01:45:28.560
habitation.

1376
01:45:30.080 --> 01:45:36.560
Right? Think about, um, that's kind of an

1377
01:45:36.560 --> 01:45:42.000
interesting revelation I just had. If you think about a jacket that you put

1378
01:45:42.000 --> 01:45:44.160
on, we're just going to call the jacket

1379
01:45:44.160 --> 01:45:47.920
tonight FEAR. If you were putting that on, we're

1380
01:45:47.920 --> 01:45:53.120
walking around in it, it's feeling kind of cozy, isn't it? A lot

1381
01:45:53.120 --> 01:45:56.080
of times we're walking around, we get used to something we're wearing,

1382
01:45:56.080 --> 01:46:01.280
right? So then to take it off again feels really

1383
01:46:01.280 --> 01:46:04.320
different, right? Some of what you're doing,

1384
01:46:04.320 --> 01:46:09.840
Jennifer, is you're learning how to not have the FEAR jacket on anymore.

1385
01:46:09.840 --> 01:46:15.360
You're learning how to, like, step into the blessing of what God has for you.

1386
01:46:15.360 --> 01:46:19.440
But you have to keep partnering with the truth of

1387
01:46:19.440 --> 01:46:24.320
the good side of things to come for you.

1388
01:46:25.280 --> 01:46:29.840
But you really struggle to believe that anyone's going to pick you.

1389
01:46:29.840 --> 01:46:33.840
Yes, that is true. And because you struggle with that,

1390
01:46:33.840 --> 01:46:37.680
it's hindering you and some of these other things.

1391
01:46:37.680 --> 01:46:42.560
Right, okay. So I encourage you, you are not going to stay here.

1392
01:46:42.560 --> 01:46:49.200
You are lovable, I can tell you that. But it's whether or not you believe it

1393
01:46:49.200 --> 01:46:53.680
and get to the core of, you know, okay, I'm going to stop partnering with the

1394
01:46:53.680 --> 01:46:57.520
lie that I'm not lovable. I'm going to stop partnering with the lie that I

1395
01:46:57.520 --> 01:47:02.000
can't be chosen. I'm going to stop partnering with the lie that

1396
01:47:02.000 --> 01:47:07.280
I'm not going to be able to finish this course or, you know, whatever it is.

1397
01:47:07.280 --> 01:47:12.960
And again, just very similar to Teresa, I feel this level of giving yourself

1398
01:47:12.960 --> 01:47:20.240
permission to not stay bound to this thing anymore.

1399
01:47:20.240 --> 01:47:25.360
And I don't want to be, I feel like I've been wrestling with that for a while.

1400
01:47:25.360 --> 01:47:30.480
And it's that wrestle of, because I feel the word

1401
01:47:30.480 --> 01:47:33.600
alignment has been coming up so much this year.

1402
01:47:33.600 --> 01:47:38.240
Like I hear the word alignment, like I've never heard the word alignment so

1403
01:47:38.240 --> 01:47:43.520
much in my life, I feel like. So making that into a prayer point of

1404
01:47:43.520 --> 01:47:47.600
praying to come more into alignment, how God sees me, his will for me, and praying

1405
01:47:47.600 --> 01:47:50.880
to come out of alignment with lies that I've always believed.

1406
01:47:50.880 --> 01:47:55.760
That's something that I've been, that I have been wrestling with.

1407
01:47:55.760 --> 01:47:59.280
Yeah, yeah. And I know you've been doing a really good job.

1408
01:47:59.280 --> 01:48:03.760
Okay, so this isn't like, and anything you ladies understand,

1409
01:48:03.760 --> 01:48:07.040
I know this isn't like we don't, even my own things.

1410
01:48:07.040 --> 01:48:11.920
It's, I want to move forward. I 100% want to do some of the things I

1411
01:48:11.920 --> 01:48:15.920
haven't done yet. But it's just like what even Jackie said

1412
01:48:16.320 --> 01:48:20.240
in the call on Saturday. You know, sometimes she would even sit

1413
01:48:20.240 --> 01:48:22.720
down to work on the book that's now published

1414
01:48:22.720 --> 01:48:25.840
and not like things that were written and just

1415
01:48:25.840 --> 01:48:29.440
second guess at second. And now that it's finally out, she's like, oh my gosh, I

1416
01:48:29.440 --> 01:48:31.920
think this is actually one of my best books.

1417
01:48:31.920 --> 01:48:35.280
But like we all face these kind of things, right?

1418
01:48:35.280 --> 01:48:38.640
But it's what are we going to do to get past that? For me,

1419
01:48:38.640 --> 01:48:42.400
what God at least keeps saying to me is it goes back to my

1420
01:48:42.400 --> 01:48:46.880
inner belief about myself.

1421
01:48:47.360 --> 01:48:51.440
So that's why I'm saying to you, it goes back to your inner belief.

1422
01:48:51.440 --> 01:49:01.840
Do I believe that I am lovable? Not just in my head, but in my heart.

1423
01:49:03.760 --> 01:49:07.280
Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna be praying for you.

1424
01:49:07.280 --> 01:49:11.040
Continue to kind of pray into that. Keep moving forward. Even remember,

1425
01:49:11.040 --> 01:49:15.040
even if it's one step every day, keep moving forward.

1426
01:49:15.040 --> 01:49:19.200
And again, phase two, ladies, there's great content in there. There's stuff

1427
01:49:19.200 --> 01:49:22.560
that's going to help you learn just even what is divine feminine.

1428
01:49:22.560 --> 01:49:26.080
Like it's not like everything is all about dating. But

1429
01:49:26.080 --> 01:49:29.440
I mean, it is. There's going to be stuff in there for that. But

1430
01:49:29.440 --> 01:49:33.120
don't partner with being intimidated to go into there. We have great coaches in

1431
01:49:33.120 --> 01:49:35.920
there. You're going to love them. And then what happens is people get in

1432
01:49:35.920 --> 01:49:39.680
there and they don't want to move to phase three. We're finding.

1433
01:49:39.680 --> 01:49:44.160
You know, we're just trying to help you all move forward in life.

1434
01:49:44.160 --> 01:49:48.320
And it's not about you have to achieve a certain thing

1435
01:49:48.320 --> 01:49:51.920
in order to move, you know, necessarily from face to face.

1436
01:49:51.920 --> 01:49:56.240
So thank you for sharing that. Appreciate you.

1437
01:49:56.240 --> 01:50:01.920
Praying for you. So Rebecca asked a question in the chat.

1438
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:05.600
Rebecca, I'm actually not going to go into that tonight because heart work, we're not focusing on dating.

1439
01:50:05.600 --> 01:50:09.400
And so, dating questions, we save for phase two.

1440
01:50:09.400 --> 01:50:15.300
And so, after people finish the heart work, those are absolutely questions that can be answered in there.

1441
01:50:15.300 --> 01:50:18.300
But thank you so much for asking it.

1442
01:50:18.300 --> 01:50:23.400
And ladies, I'm going to go ahead and pray because I just, I can feel myself starting to lose some energy.

1443
01:50:23.400 --> 01:50:25.600
And we are at 950 as well.

1444
01:50:25.600 --> 01:50:28.500
So, Father, thank you for this amazing night.

1445
01:50:28.500 --> 01:50:29.900
Thank you for everything you've done.

1446
01:50:29.900 --> 01:50:33.100
Thank you for more revealings for healing that are happening, going to happen.

1447
01:50:33.100 --> 01:50:35.900
God, we thank you for physical healing as well.

1448
01:50:35.900 --> 01:50:41.100
We thank you, God, for healing our emotions, our minds.

1449
01:50:41.100 --> 01:50:46.200
God, that you go into the recesses, God, where there's orphan mentalities, limiting belief systems,

1450
01:50:46.200 --> 01:50:51.200
even lies that we believe regarding being unlovable or unwanted or whatever that is.

1451
01:50:51.200 --> 01:50:54.800
God, we thank you for healing the core of us.

1452
01:50:54.800 --> 01:50:58.700
Help us to partner with your truth more and more and more in the days to come.

1453
01:50:58.700 --> 01:51:01.700
Give us Sela rest tonight in Jesus name.

1454
01:51:01.700 --> 01:51:02.700
Amen.

1455
01:51:02.700 --> 01:51:03.700
God bless you, ladies.

1456
01:51:03.700 --> 01:51:05.200
I'll see you all in the group.

1457
01:51:05.200 --> 01:51:06.500
Have a good night, everyone.

1458
01:51:06.500 --> 01:51:07.000
Bye-bye.