WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:16.640
Hey everyone, welcome. Happy Monday. Hello, hello. I see some names, I see no faces. Anyone

2
00:00:16.640 --> 00:00:21.360
that's able to come on screen would love to invite you to come on screen with me. We're

3
00:00:21.360 --> 00:00:25.880
going to kick off this night and we're going to dive right into the content pretty quickly

4
00:00:25.880 --> 00:00:31.200
tonight. I'm so glad to have you joining us. God has some really great things in store.

5
00:00:31.200 --> 00:00:34.960
As always, I'd like to remind you all, if you're new to our program, or even if you've

6
00:00:34.960 --> 00:00:39.280
been here for a while and you've never done an introduction post, we want to encourage

7
00:00:39.280 --> 00:00:44.520
you to do an introduction post in the group. So when you go in the Last Year Single app,

8
00:00:44.520 --> 00:00:47.920
you're going to click on the community tab and you're going to just create a post, do

9
00:00:47.920 --> 00:00:52.080
a little introduction, let us know a little bit about you. What are some of your hobbies?

10
00:00:52.080 --> 00:00:57.320
What brought you here? Even if some of you were here before and you came back, let us

11
00:00:57.320 --> 00:01:03.180
know that. And I love to see a picture that you love of yourself. It could be with you,

12
00:01:03.180 --> 00:01:07.140
with other people, something you're doing that you love, but just something that makes

13
00:01:07.140 --> 00:01:12.560
you feel good about yourself when you post that. That helps us connect with you all on

14
00:01:12.560 --> 00:01:17.020
a deeper level and it helps your sisters in the group to get to know you a little bit

15
00:01:17.020 --> 00:01:23.220
more as well. And so I want to let you know on that, we do have Supernatural Saturday.

16
00:01:23.220 --> 00:01:26.620
This past Saturday was a time of prayer with the community. It was really great. A lot

17
00:01:26.620 --> 00:01:32.220
of prayers for those that have already gotten married, married prayers for those that are

18
00:01:32.220 --> 00:01:36.540
believing for marriage in our community, and a lot of other wonderful prayers as well.

19
00:01:36.540 --> 00:01:40.900
We did have the Prophetic Ministry Night last night as well. If you've never been to that,

20
00:01:40.900 --> 00:01:45.660
it's totally okay. We do that one Sunday night a month on the last Sunday night of

21
00:01:45.660 --> 00:01:52.780
every month. And it's just a time where the team comes together to really try to hear

22
00:01:52.780 --> 00:01:58.900
from heaven for us as a community, as a movement, and then convey that to you all the best that

23
00:01:58.900 --> 00:02:04.800
we can. And so that should be in your replays tonight. If it's not already there, it'll

24
00:02:04.800 --> 00:02:11.320
be up probably first thing tomorrow morning. And I think that is all of my announcements.

25
00:02:11.320 --> 00:02:15.720
Welcome to all of our new ladies who is here for the first time. You've never been on a

26
00:02:15.720 --> 00:02:21.160
live session before. We'd love for you to put that in the chat so we can welcome you.

27
00:02:21.160 --> 00:02:26.440
Say hi by name. If you've been here before, welcome back. Again, just want to invite any

28
00:02:26.440 --> 00:02:31.680
of you that are able to come on camera to come on camera. Again, this helps us practice

29
00:02:31.680 --> 00:02:37.280
being seen, being known, being loved, coming out of hiding for some of us. You know, even

30
00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:44.640
in this digital time, I sense just even myself, I work from home all the time now, you all.

31
00:02:44.640 --> 00:02:49.840
And I have to push myself to get out of the house. So I want to encourage you all to activate

32
00:02:49.840 --> 00:02:53.960
that and really practice being seen. All right, let me pray for us. And we're going to dive

33
00:02:53.960 --> 00:02:58.440
right in. Father, thank you so much for this night. Thank you for everything that you're

34
00:02:58.440 --> 00:03:04.960
doing. God, I thank you for lives being changed tonight, God, that you would just, even as

35
00:03:04.960 --> 00:03:08.360
we prayed and leaned in last night during the prophetic ministry night, God, that you

36
00:03:08.360 --> 00:03:14.160
would give us the capacity to receive revelation, to receive insight from heaven, that we would

37
00:03:14.160 --> 00:03:18.960
have eyes to see what your spirit sees, ears to hear what your spirit is saying, that you

38
00:03:18.960 --> 00:03:23.200
would bring those things out of darkness into the light that can be revealed for healing.

39
00:03:23.920 --> 00:03:29.560
Yes, Lord, that we wouldn't run from pain, God, that we would feel the feels so that you can

40
00:03:29.560 --> 00:03:34.920
heal the feels. God, I thank you that we would turn towards you and trust you to heal us

41
00:03:34.920 --> 00:03:40.400
even when it hurts at times. God, we know that heartwork can be hard work at times. But

42
00:03:40.400 --> 00:03:45.280
God, I thank you that your grace is sufficient. God, that you never leave us, you never forsake

43
00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:49.480
us, and you're going to see us all the way through. God, I thank you that heart healing is

44
00:03:49.480 --> 00:03:53.920
also a journey. It's not a destination that we just arrive and we're just supposed to be

45
00:03:53.920 --> 00:03:59.920
perfect. God, we thank you for reminding us of grace and healing as we go. So Lord, I

46
00:03:59.920 --> 00:04:05.640
pray that you would just bring supernatural deliverance and breakthrough tonight in a

47
00:04:05.640 --> 00:04:10.200
powerful way. Holy Spirit, we thank you for being here. Weave in and out of every

48
00:04:10.200 --> 00:04:13.800
conversation, every word, by the time it reaches their hearts, those that are here

49
00:04:13.800 --> 00:04:17.880
live, those that are going to watch the replay, God, let it bring the words that they need

50
00:04:17.880 --> 00:04:24.000
to hear right where they need to hear it. In Jesus name, amen. So ladies, tonight, we're

51
00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:29.120
walking into forgiveness week. That's what we're doing tonight. So even if you're in week

52
00:04:29.120 --> 00:04:33.280
one, it's totally fine. You're in the right place. But we are going to talk about forgiveness

53
00:04:33.280 --> 00:04:39.400
tonight. And the reality is, is forgiveness, even though that is in our section of week

54
00:04:39.400 --> 00:04:44.800
four, we need to forgive all the time, y'all. So it's not going to hurt you if you're in

55
00:04:44.800 --> 00:04:48.680
week one, and we're talking about forgiveness, it's going to prep your heart to even be able

56
00:04:48.680 --> 00:04:54.320
to surrender. There's so many aspects to forgiveness, that is such an integral part of

57
00:04:54.320 --> 00:04:57.920
our Christian walk. And so I'm excited to talk to you about it tonight.

58
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:04.320
I love this quote that is in the Hartwick book, but it's by Martin Luther King Jr.

59
00:05:04.320 --> 00:05:05.400
And this is what it says.

60
00:05:06.480 --> 00:05:09.680
We must develop and maintain the capacity.

61
00:05:09.960 --> 00:05:13.680
There's the word capacity again, tonight, the capacity to forgive.

62
00:05:14.200 --> 00:05:20.360
He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.

63
00:05:22.240 --> 00:05:23.960
I want you to be thinking about that.

64
00:05:24.280 --> 00:05:28.600
You know, I was, I was even thinking about someone, uh, in our own church

65
00:05:28.600 --> 00:05:32.160
has been just going through a time with someone that was a minister in a church

66
00:05:32.160 --> 00:05:37.440
that used to attend and some brokenness there and how God calls us to love our

67
00:05:37.440 --> 00:05:38.040
enemies.

68
00:05:38.320 --> 00:05:42.240
Does that mean we need to be in close proximity to toxic people?

69
00:05:42.280 --> 00:05:45.560
No, but it's about our heart posture.

70
00:05:45.840 --> 00:05:49.680
And so that's why I want to kick off tonight about the capacity to forgive.

71
00:05:49.960 --> 00:05:52.040
And so we're going to do an activation really quick.

72
00:05:52.120 --> 00:05:53.320
This just came up in my spirit.

73
00:05:53.320 --> 00:05:54.680
So we're just going to do this together.

74
00:05:55.640 --> 00:05:58.640
And I believe God is going to help us to receive what he has for us tonight.

75
00:05:58.640 --> 00:06:01.880
So if you'll just do this with me, go ahead and put your hand on your heart,

76
00:06:02.560 --> 00:06:03.440
wherever you are.

77
00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:07.120
If you're driving, keep your hands on the wheel, but just in your spirit, put your

78
00:06:07.120 --> 00:06:07.840
hand on your heart.

79
00:06:07.880 --> 00:06:08.200
Okay.

80
00:06:09.600 --> 00:06:12.120
And just, you don't have to unmute, but just repeat after me.

81
00:06:12.120 --> 00:06:16.720
Father, thank you for being with me in the hard times.

82
00:06:18.440 --> 00:06:22.240
God, thank you for bringing things out of darkness into the light tonight and the

83
00:06:22.240 --> 00:06:23.080
days to come.

84
00:06:25.080 --> 00:06:30.360
God, I pray that you would give me fresh capacity to forgive those who have harmed

85
00:06:30.360 --> 00:06:31.240
me in any way.

86
00:06:34.920 --> 00:06:39.040
Father, I thank you that you'd give me the capacity to be able to forgive myself

87
00:06:39.480 --> 00:06:41.600
wherever I need to forgive myself as well.

88
00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:52.360
Lord, I thank you that you're healing me, growing me, teaching me and showing me in

89
00:06:52.360 --> 00:06:53.240
Jesus name.

90
00:06:54.720 --> 00:06:55.400
Amen.

91
00:06:56.400 --> 00:06:56.880
Amen.

92
00:06:57.280 --> 00:07:00.120
Ladies, I want to encourage you to do stuff like that.

93
00:07:01.040 --> 00:07:04.800
Even when forgiveness feels hard, where you would just stop and just make a

94
00:07:04.800 --> 00:07:06.880
connection point between you and the Lord.

95
00:07:07.480 --> 00:07:08.920
That's what it does for me.

96
00:07:08.960 --> 00:07:14.720
Even myself, when I just kind of slow things down and pause and like, you know, a

97
00:07:14.720 --> 00:07:19.560
lot of times, even when I'm in worship, like I raise my hands, but a lot of time,

98
00:07:19.560 --> 00:07:22.080
like I just stand there with my hand on my heart and pray.

99
00:07:22.760 --> 00:07:24.640
There's just this connection for me.

100
00:07:24.680 --> 00:07:28.600
Yours might be different, but that's something that helps me feel a closeness

101
00:07:28.880 --> 00:07:30.720
between God and myself.

102
00:07:31.160 --> 00:07:35.280
And so on days that are good, on days that are hard, I hope that that is a tool that

103
00:07:35.280 --> 00:07:36.840
you can use that will help you as well.

104
00:07:37.640 --> 00:07:42.080
Forgiveness along with repentance and confession is the only thing that has the

105
00:07:42.080 --> 00:07:47.240
power to put you back in touch with your authentic identity.

106
00:07:48.240 --> 00:07:53.920
Remember your authentic identity is who God originally created you to be before

107
00:07:53.920 --> 00:07:56.200
wounds or trauma ever entered your life.

108
00:07:57.360 --> 00:08:00.880
So our forgiveness is what gives us the ability.

109
00:08:00.880 --> 00:08:05.320
It gives us the power to get back in touch with that original design.

110
00:08:06.600 --> 00:08:08.440
Forgiveness also breaks tethers.

111
00:08:08.440 --> 00:08:12.440
If you all, um, for some of you, you've heard this story so many times, but I'm

112
00:08:12.440 --> 00:08:14.120
going to tell it again for the new ladies.

113
00:08:14.960 --> 00:08:18.000
But I do have some twists to some of my stories tonight because God gave me

114
00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:21.320
another revelation, even right before I hopped on about something that happened

115
00:08:21.320 --> 00:08:25.800
recently, but I like to give the tetherball example.

116
00:08:25.800 --> 00:08:29.000
If you don't know what tetherball is, it's a game that I used to play on the

117
00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:29.720
playground.

118
00:08:30.120 --> 00:08:32.640
For those of you that are younger, I don't know that it's still on the

119
00:08:32.919 --> 00:08:38.840
playgrounds today, but tetherball, they typically had a pole and there was a

120
00:08:38.840 --> 00:08:41.280
rope and the rope was connected to the pole.

121
00:08:41.280 --> 00:08:43.120
And then the rope was connected to a ball.

122
00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:47.600
And that ball, you know, the kids would stand, the ball would fling around and

123
00:08:47.600 --> 00:08:49.760
the kids would hit it and you'd hit it all around.

124
00:08:49.960 --> 00:08:52.520
And there's probably more to the game, but that's the main part I remember.

125
00:08:53.160 --> 00:09:00.120
But the point is that the ball is always tethered to the rope and the pole until

126
00:09:00.480 --> 00:09:02.240
someone removes it.

127
00:09:03.520 --> 00:09:06.200
Forgiveness is what breaks the tether.

128
00:09:06.240 --> 00:09:10.920
So I want you to understand that when we don't forgive, when we walk in

129
00:09:10.920 --> 00:09:17.480
unforgiveness towards people, we remain tethered, tethered, you know, to those

130
00:09:17.480 --> 00:09:19.600
people and to those situations.

131
00:09:20.040 --> 00:09:24.360
But when we choose to forgive, what happens is that disconnection of that

132
00:09:24.360 --> 00:09:25.680
starts to begin.

133
00:09:26.080 --> 00:09:29.920
Sometimes it is an immediate release you're going to feel, ladies, and

134
00:09:29.920 --> 00:09:32.640
sometimes you're not going to feel anything at all.

135
00:09:33.800 --> 00:09:37.320
Forgiveness isn't about a feeling, it's a choice.

136
00:09:37.320 --> 00:09:41.080
And we're going to talk about that a little bit more here in a little bit.

137
00:09:41.080 --> 00:09:44.880
But I want to kind of just touch on that because I think sometimes people, we tend

138
00:09:44.880 --> 00:09:46.760
to think it's got to be this big thing.

139
00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:53.520
And so sometimes our expectations, you know, it's just not where we think it's

140
00:09:53.520 --> 00:09:53.920
going to be.

141
00:09:53.920 --> 00:09:55.920
And so we are like, is this even working?

142
00:09:56.360 --> 00:09:59.600
So I want you to know it is working when you choose to forgive, when you pray to

143
00:09:59.600 --> 00:10:00.040
forgive.

144
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:08.160
It all works in the spirit realm. So I want you to continue to remember like bound to them when we don't forgive when we forgive

145
00:10:09.080 --> 00:10:16.380
We become unbound untethered. We forgive them and we release others this afternoon. I also heard the Lord say

146
00:10:17.520 --> 00:10:19.520
forgiving doesn't mean forgetting and

147
00:10:20.040 --> 00:10:25.240
I felt like there were gonna be some people on here tonight or that we're gonna watch the replay that that's your biggest fear

148
00:10:25.440 --> 00:10:31.520
That just you're just expected just to forget everything that happened. Well, that's not true. That's not even a reality

149
00:10:32.080 --> 00:10:37.640
Okay. Now there will be come a day there will come a day where you're you know

150
00:10:37.640 --> 00:10:40.640
You have this less distance and there's less pain

151
00:10:40.640 --> 00:10:45.600
And so there are times where I will even say to people that doesn't even feel like my life

152
00:10:46.080 --> 00:10:52.300
Because my life is so different now than how it used to be now. I know those things happened

153
00:10:53.060 --> 00:10:59.340
But I will say sometimes I'm like, I don't even recall if that thing happened, but when it comes back to my mind

154
00:10:59.340 --> 00:11:05.180
There's no pain because I've recalled it before I've worked through the healing before but now it's just like oh, yeah that happened

155
00:11:05.460 --> 00:11:09.660
Forgot about that, you know where in the past it'd be like whoa

156
00:11:10.780 --> 00:11:14.540
This happened to me. I think this happened to me. Did this happen to me?

157
00:11:14.540 --> 00:11:19.440
I don't know if you all have ever been there. But when the memories come up sometimes that's how it how it feels

158
00:11:19.860 --> 00:11:21.460
You're like, okay

159
00:11:21.460 --> 00:11:24.700
Am I dreaming this or did this really happen?

160
00:11:24.900 --> 00:11:31.900
Right, and sometimes that can be really tricky when we're trying to forgive because we don't even know if the reality is true

161
00:11:31.900 --> 00:11:38.160
So I want to encourage you as you're processing things that are coming up to trust yourself. Okay?

162
00:11:39.980 --> 00:11:44.500
Trust the things that are coming up even if you don't recall the whole memory

163
00:11:45.500 --> 00:11:51.780
God is revealing things to you and he's showing you pieces and particles of things that were long

164
00:11:52.380 --> 00:11:57.780
Pushed down into your subconscious and he's bringing those to the surface at the appointed time

165
00:11:57.900 --> 00:12:02.420
So that you can heal and move forward if you will choose to continue to do so

166
00:12:03.100 --> 00:12:05.220
The other story I always tell

167
00:12:06.300 --> 00:12:11.860
So I have some new sunglasses. These are not the sunglasses I used to have and there I'm gonna tell you why I'm saying that

168
00:12:12.220 --> 00:12:16.140
But I love to give this example, so I want you to think about how

169
00:12:17.420 --> 00:12:24.060
Unforgiveness, you know, I said if we have unforgiveness it keeps us tethered to people, but I want you to also think about how

170
00:12:25.660 --> 00:12:27.660
Unforgiveness can create

171
00:12:27.940 --> 00:12:28.980
filters

172
00:12:28.980 --> 00:12:34.980
Blind spots and it can cause us like out of the brokenness to see things very differently

173
00:12:35.500 --> 00:12:39.120
So I used to tell this story and this is very true with my old

174
00:12:39.440 --> 00:12:42.440
Sunglasses that when Brian and I first moved here to Florida

175
00:12:43.120 --> 00:12:44.520
We were sitting on the beach

176
00:12:44.520 --> 00:12:51.680
I had my other sunglasses on and and I was looking over and the clouds looked like this peach color and I was just like

177
00:12:51.680 --> 00:12:57.120
Look at those peach clouds, babe, and he's like, what are you talking about? I'm like over there. Don't you see them?

178
00:12:57.440 --> 00:13:00.120
You know, I wasn't even thinking about the fact that I had these, you know

179
00:13:00.120 --> 00:13:06.720
The sunglasses on and so he didn't see peach clouds, but I saw peach clouds and it caused me to see something

180
00:13:07.240 --> 00:13:12.960
Differently. It saw me to see color that was there that wasn't there because my my

181
00:13:13.280 --> 00:13:18.320
Lenses the filter that I was looking through had that kind of peach tint to it

182
00:13:18.400 --> 00:13:24.080
Now the reason I mentioned these are different sunglasses. I got some new sunglasses recently and

183
00:13:25.240 --> 00:13:26.480
interestingly

184
00:13:26.480 --> 00:13:29.440
Interestingly enough we were driving just a couple weekends ago

185
00:13:29.880 --> 00:13:36.320
And I had my sunglasses on and we had two other guys in the car from our church leadership team with us

186
00:13:36.320 --> 00:13:42.720
And they were caught in commenting about this rainbow that they were seeing in the sky and my husband and I are both like

187
00:13:43.040 --> 00:13:45.040
What are you all talking about?

188
00:13:45.360 --> 00:13:51.760
Like we don't see a rainbow. We're looking at everywhere for this rainbow that they're talking about and we couldn't see it and

189
00:13:52.320 --> 00:13:59.400
then I'm like, huh and I took my sunglasses off and all of a sudden I could see the rainbow and

190
00:13:59.520 --> 00:14:03.800
I thought that was so interesting today when I was thinking about it right before I got on here

191
00:14:04.040 --> 00:14:11.560
That two different pairs of glasses one caused me to see a color that was there that wasn't really there

192
00:14:12.000 --> 00:14:14.000
these sunglasses

193
00:14:14.440 --> 00:14:17.680
Actually removed color that was there

194
00:14:18.200 --> 00:14:22.600
Very interesting to me. So I want you to think about that in perspective to

195
00:14:23.200 --> 00:14:25.200
brokenness

196
00:14:25.520 --> 00:14:31.960
Unforgiveness when we have all that stuff in our soul in our spirit in the subconscious it

197
00:14:32.600 --> 00:14:37.360
Causes filters it causes things to look differently than they actually

198
00:14:38.360 --> 00:14:41.600
Look, we also hear things differently

199
00:14:42.560 --> 00:14:48.360
Than they actually are being said at times. I'm not saying that there are people that you know, don't say hurtful things

200
00:14:48.360 --> 00:14:52.440
That's not what I'm saying. Okay, so don't don't create something out of what I'm

201
00:14:53.040 --> 00:14:54.600
Saying that's different

202
00:14:54.600 --> 00:15:00.080
But what I am saying is that I also tell this kind of story and I learned this I can't remember where

203
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:05.360
I heard this, but it was back when I was doing my mental health coach certification, I think,

204
00:15:05.360 --> 00:15:11.520
one of my schooling programs, but they gave the example of like this being the filter,

205
00:15:11.520 --> 00:15:17.840
this piece of paper, okay, and imagine one person over here and the other person over here.

206
00:15:19.120 --> 00:15:25.520
This person is saying something and it's got to go through this filter, right,

207
00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:32.560
before it gets to the other person, so a lot of times somebody could actually be saying something

208
00:15:32.560 --> 00:15:39.280
or something could be happening in the world, but by the time it gets over here, this person that

209
00:15:39.280 --> 00:15:44.560
receives it has now received it through whatever filter is in their heart, soul, and subconscious,

210
00:15:45.600 --> 00:15:51.840
okay, so even for example, I'm going to give some examples, real life things from our group

211
00:15:52.800 --> 00:15:59.760
and our community experiences. We, when you get to phase three, we have a Facebook group

212
00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:05.200
that is a part of our program that people can come into there as well in addition to our app,

213
00:16:06.080 --> 00:16:13.120
and we do go through and review the posts before they're approved to the page, and sometimes we,

214
00:16:13.120 --> 00:16:17.440
you know, we, everybody agrees to the guidelines of our group when you sign up for our community,

215
00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:21.760
those are there, everybody agrees to them when you sign up, if you don't, then you don't get

216
00:16:21.760 --> 00:16:28.720
approved to the to the group, that's how it goes, but so often people will try to submit posts that

217
00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:35.040
are outside of those guidelines, okay, well then we either have to ask them to change it or we don't

218
00:16:35.040 --> 00:16:40.960
approve the post, and we are, we actually go out of our way to either email or message these people

219
00:16:40.960 --> 00:16:46.560
most of the time, but sometimes we just don't have the time or the capacity to do that.

220
00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:58.080
Now, some people will say they rejected me, okay, that's what they believe by that,

221
00:16:58.880 --> 00:17:06.800
but in reality, they agreed to the rules of the group, and then they tried to submit something

222
00:17:06.800 --> 00:17:12.160
that wasn't in alignment with the rules of the group, so is that rejection?

223
00:17:14.640 --> 00:17:19.280
Let's think about it, it's not, but that's the way they're perceiving it,

224
00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:25.200
right, now I'm using that as a very basic example, but there are times where things are

225
00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:29.200
being said or done, but again, it's all what we believe in our hearts,

226
00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:35.600
sorry, I'm still getting over this sickness, but whatever we believe in our heart is going to get

227
00:17:35.600 --> 00:17:42.880
reproduced, right, so if we're, we tend to be a really negative person, well, that's coming from

228
00:17:42.880 --> 00:17:51.200
somewhere, if we tend to get offended really easily, it's probably because we have some craters,

229
00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:56.720
some landmines underneath the surface that anytime anybody steps on those landmines, it's like,

230
00:17:58.480 --> 00:18:02.960
we have these explosions, you know what I'm saying, and maybe for you, you don't have anger

231
00:18:02.960 --> 00:18:08.880
issues, or maybe you don't have this reactive, but maybe you, again, go into isolation and seclusion

232
00:18:08.880 --> 00:18:15.440
every time something happens, you withdraw, you pull back, they are the same underlying thing,

233
00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:24.800
people just do it differently, and y'all, this all goes back to unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment,

234
00:18:24.800 --> 00:18:29.520
that stuff that's sitting down in there underneath the surface that are like those landmines,

235
00:18:30.080 --> 00:18:34.080
so I want you to think about, even in your life in the past week,

236
00:18:36.320 --> 00:18:40.560
where were you maybe seeing something differently than the way it really was,

237
00:18:41.360 --> 00:18:47.520
or where you thought something negative, where maybe nothing negative was actually being said

238
00:18:47.520 --> 00:18:55.520
or done, but that's how you perceived it, right, how we show up into things is really what we're

239
00:18:55.520 --> 00:18:59.840
going to believe as well, one of the other examples I want to give you is that we have a lot

240
00:18:59.840 --> 00:19:04.960
of women in our community, we have some younger women, okay, we do, praise the lord, we have a lot

241
00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:09.840
of different age women in our group, in our community, but we do have a lot of women that are

242
00:19:09.840 --> 00:19:20.240
older, and a common theme is, they're not choosing me because I'm too old, but yeah, we have a lot of

243
00:19:20.240 --> 00:19:28.320
women that are older that are getting married, you all, so is it because you're older that you're

244
00:19:28.320 --> 00:19:35.120
not getting chosen, or is that what you believe in your heart, we got to get to the root of the

245
00:19:35.120 --> 00:19:39.760
matter, we got to get to the root of why we believe what we believe, remember, we believe,

246
00:19:39.760 --> 00:19:45.360
or excuse me, we become what we believe, out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth is going to speak,

247
00:19:45.360 --> 00:19:48.480
well, that's going to happen regarding that unforgiveness in there as well,

248
00:19:50.080 --> 00:19:54.960
so I want you to think about how do you interact differently in the world because of the brokenness,

249
00:19:54.960 --> 00:19:59.840
because of the things that are underneath the surface, it also impacts your ability to truly

250
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.800
connect with people. Some of you all, you know, you go, we, we all, I'm not gonna just say you

251
00:20:04.800 --> 00:20:09.040
all, because I struggled with this too, in the past. And there are times where I still am like,

252
00:20:10.960 --> 00:20:16.880
I don't know if I can trust that person. You know, and I have this kind of this standoffish

253
00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:21.840
because of maybe a way that they're carrying themselves, maybe something they're saying.

254
00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:29.600
It tends to happen with me when somebody is very loud, very like domineering, I kind of

255
00:20:29.600 --> 00:20:34.880
hold back to figure out, okay, can I trust this person? And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

256
00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:40.400
You know, we have to have discernment. That's a good thing. But we don't want that to get,

257
00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:45.360
go the other way and become where we're suspicious about everybody, right? We don't want things to

258
00:20:45.360 --> 00:20:50.800
get out of balance. And so I want to ask you, when is the last time you truly connected with

259
00:20:50.800 --> 00:20:56.320
someone? Like not just hung out with people, but like you had someone that you could really trust

260
00:20:56.960 --> 00:21:01.920
and you allowed yourself, they were a safe person to get vulnerable with them to really connect.

261
00:21:01.920 --> 00:21:06.400
Some of you all are doing that here in this group. And I applaud you, you're coming and you're saying,

262
00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:11.440
man, this is something that came up. I know Amy did that. I responded to her post today.

263
00:21:11.440 --> 00:21:18.240
Some of you all that like some raw stuff is coming up. And I just am so grateful that you're coming

264
00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:22.240
into the group and you're asking questions. You're like, what do I do with this? How do I process

265
00:21:22.240 --> 00:21:27.440
this? That's what we want you to do. And you know, ultimately we're going to direct you back

266
00:21:27.440 --> 00:21:31.840
to the Lord because He's going to be the one to help you. But we're going to ask some good

267
00:21:31.840 --> 00:21:37.760
questions. Hopefully that's going to get you to go back to the Lord, right? He's the center, but

268
00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:43.520
we have to be willing to get out of our comfort zone, to connect, to come into community.

269
00:21:43.520 --> 00:21:48.480
Even if it's one person at a time, one-to-one, some of you might not be able to do it right now

270
00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:53.440
openly in a group. I think everybody can, but some of you all might face a lot of fear and all

271
00:21:53.440 --> 00:22:00.160
that, and that's okay. So start with one person, start with the one place that you can go to start

272
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:07.280
building some trust and some connection there, and then grow from that point forward. All right,

273
00:22:07.280 --> 00:22:11.360
so I want to talk a little bit more about the blind spots and the filters. This is from the

274
00:22:11.360 --> 00:22:17.520
heartwork book. When you walk into any situation, this is regarding if we have these blind spots and

275
00:22:17.520 --> 00:22:22.320
filters, which we typically do. When we walk into any situation, it doesn't matter if it's good, if

276
00:22:22.320 --> 00:22:30.080
it's bad. We don't see that thing, that place, those people the way that they are. We actually

277
00:22:30.080 --> 00:22:35.680
see them the way that we are on the inside. That's what I've been talking about so far tonight.

278
00:22:36.320 --> 00:22:43.760
So I want you to think about it again. Where have you been seeing people, places, and things the

279
00:22:43.760 --> 00:22:51.200
way that you are, not the way that they are? For instance, say you were severely hurt by a group of

280
00:22:51.200 --> 00:22:58.080
people. I know with Amy, I hope it's okay. Like with hers, there's a lot of other people. I used

281
00:22:58.080 --> 00:23:03.280
to struggle with authority and men and authority over me too, but that was one of the things I

282
00:23:03.280 --> 00:23:08.720
commented back that I saw as a thread coming out from what she shared. You know, whatever, whoever

283
00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:16.800
hurt us, whatever that dynamic is, if we go back into that or try to go back into that dynamic,

284
00:23:16.800 --> 00:23:23.280
we often are going to believe the lies that happened as a result of the pain that we went

285
00:23:23.280 --> 00:23:27.600
through before. So for example, in the book, it's talking about if you were severely hurt by a group

286
00:23:27.600 --> 00:23:32.880
of people, they mistreated you, lied about you, discarded you. Heart wounds and lies that were

287
00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:39.200
then created as a result of that trauma will give you a skewed perception of groups in the future.

288
00:23:39.840 --> 00:23:46.080
So that's where if we had someone in authority, and it could be male figure, women figure, whatever

289
00:23:46.080 --> 00:23:52.560
that is for you. If they harmed us in some way, we can then believe the lies in that moment that

290
00:23:52.560 --> 00:23:59.920
the enemy is feeding us and then believe that it is unsafe to be under the authority of a man or

291
00:23:59.920 --> 00:24:06.160
a woman in the future. And then whatever other lies then seem to come alongside of that. And then

292
00:24:06.160 --> 00:24:11.120
what can happen is we will start to avoid the groups or the type of people or the communities,

293
00:24:11.680 --> 00:24:18.960
like the plague, convincing ourselves that all of them are bad. That's why so many women

294
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:27.120
are like, all men are bad. We say we want to get married. And then what happens is we come into

295
00:24:27.120 --> 00:24:32.560
this community. I hear it all the time. Y'all, I went through it. So many people have gone through

296
00:24:32.560 --> 00:24:38.560
this and you come into the community. You're like, oh my gosh, I don't even like, like God is showing

297
00:24:38.560 --> 00:24:44.320
me. I don't even like men. I have this really not good stuff in my heart towards men. Well, guess

298
00:24:44.320 --> 00:24:49.200
what? The whole time you were trying to date before you were showing up in those situations

299
00:24:49.200 --> 00:24:54.880
with all of that on the inside of you. So guess what? That causes us to show up differently in

300
00:24:54.880 --> 00:24:59.840
those situations and with those people. And so then we keep trying.

301
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.720
again and again, but if those lies and the pain are still on the inside,

302
00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:06.080
we don't end up with a different result.

303
00:25:06.440 --> 00:25:10.760
So here's the thing that that becomes then our most significant obstacle to

304
00:25:10.760 --> 00:25:14.960
actually belonging to actually stepping into that spirit mate relationship.

305
00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:20.480
And so we have to allow God to come in and heal us from the inside out.

306
00:25:20.640 --> 00:25:22.660
This isn't about behavior modification.

307
00:25:22.660 --> 00:25:25.960
I'm going to say that to you all until I am blue in the face.

308
00:25:26.520 --> 00:25:28.960
This isn't about you being on good behavior.

309
00:25:29.120 --> 00:25:33.200
This is about God doing something deep on the inside of you

310
00:25:34.440 --> 00:25:39.440
that causes you to supernaturally shift out of the overflow of your love

311
00:25:40.540 --> 00:25:42.280
relationship with the Lord.

312
00:25:44.600 --> 00:25:47.080
Feel the Holy Spirit. So I'm just going to linger there for a minute.

313
00:25:47.080 --> 00:25:50.640
Some of y'all have been, you know, kind of, okay, Lord,

314
00:25:51.040 --> 00:25:55.760
I did this devotion today. I did this, I did this, I did this. I'm good now.

315
00:25:56.200 --> 00:26:00.400
And I'm not knocking that because that's, that's, that was where I was. And I do,

316
00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:03.560
I still do some of those things. I love my devotional time. I love,

317
00:26:03.800 --> 00:26:07.980
but y'all, when I was sick, I think I said this a little bit last night,

318
00:26:07.980 --> 00:26:10.600
either last night or I said it somewhere at church, but man,

319
00:26:10.600 --> 00:26:15.600
I felt so puny and like I just had no energy to do anything for days.

320
00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:19.160
I was still doing some work, but man,

321
00:26:19.600 --> 00:26:23.660
it took everything in me to get some work done to show up on the lives and coach.

322
00:26:23.700 --> 00:26:27.020
And then I was just drained after, and I love doing this stuff.

323
00:26:27.260 --> 00:26:29.980
But the reality is in that puniness,

324
00:26:30.060 --> 00:26:34.180
I was reminded of my humanity of my flesh and, and,

325
00:26:34.180 --> 00:26:38.540
and the enemy, the one day I tried to come and say to me, see,

326
00:26:38.820 --> 00:26:43.180
you're not close to God. See, this is how he works.

327
00:26:43.660 --> 00:26:46.700
See, you're not close to God. You're not even reading your Bible.

328
00:26:50.220 --> 00:26:51.380
And you know what I said to him?

329
00:26:51.380 --> 00:26:56.260
I didn't even address the devil. I just said to God, God,

330
00:26:56.260 --> 00:26:59.820
I know you're close to me right now, even though I don't feel super spiritual.

331
00:27:00.980 --> 00:27:02.100
And that's all I said.

332
00:27:03.420 --> 00:27:05.660
And then I just went on my way the rest of the day,

333
00:27:06.100 --> 00:27:10.300
vegging drinking lots of fluids, trying to get my body better.

334
00:27:10.460 --> 00:27:12.020
I knew God wasn't mad at me,

335
00:27:12.900 --> 00:27:17.740
but see the enemy was trying to just cause me to be fueled by the guilt

336
00:27:17.780 --> 00:27:20.580
of striving for affection.

337
00:27:21.820 --> 00:27:26.420
Or feeling like somehow because I wasn't checking off my list all day

338
00:27:26.420 --> 00:27:30.220
long on what I had to do for God to perform for him. See, that's the old me.

339
00:27:32.060 --> 00:27:35.620
He was trying to convince me that because I wasn't doing those things that I

340
00:27:35.700 --> 00:27:38.660
all of a sudden, now that that closeness was broken.

341
00:27:40.460 --> 00:27:43.740
Now, am I saying that it's not good? I mean,

342
00:27:44.500 --> 00:27:47.140
I love reading the word. I'm going to say it this way and said,

343
00:27:47.140 --> 00:27:48.100
I love reading the word.

344
00:27:48.100 --> 00:27:52.900
I love connecting with the Lord because he talks to me and I hear him and I love

345
00:27:52.900 --> 00:27:56.380
having revelation. I love studying what his word says.

346
00:27:56.580 --> 00:28:01.100
And not just what I think it says and interpreting it through our society today,

347
00:28:01.100 --> 00:28:03.660
but what did it actually say back then?

348
00:28:04.500 --> 00:28:08.500
And I've become more and more passionate about that because I married a man that

349
00:28:08.500 --> 00:28:13.100
that's what, that's what he stands for. He's all about context.

350
00:28:14.100 --> 00:28:19.100
But what I know is that all of the time that I've studied and spent time with

351
00:28:19.100 --> 00:28:23.420
the Lord, and I've asked God to write it on the tablet of my heart,

352
00:28:25.100 --> 00:28:26.780
it's still there. You all,

353
00:28:28.220 --> 00:28:30.060
some of you need to hear that tonight.

354
00:28:32.260 --> 00:28:33.940
I think some of you, there's this,

355
00:28:33.980 --> 00:28:38.500
this lie that the enemy's been feeding you that you're not spiritual enough.

356
00:28:38.500 --> 00:28:39.980
You're not perfect enough.

357
00:28:40.980 --> 00:28:44.540
And I think you just need to forgive yourself and move forward.

358
00:28:44.740 --> 00:28:46.060
God loves you.

359
00:28:47.860 --> 00:28:52.460
He's writing a new story in your life and he wants you to know that he loves to

360
00:28:52.460 --> 00:28:53.220
hear from you.

361
00:28:53.220 --> 00:28:57.460
He loves when you pray and talk to him and spend time with him.

362
00:28:58.340 --> 00:29:01.860
But man, he loves seeing you happy too. And when you're sick,

363
00:29:01.860 --> 00:29:03.700
he wants you to know he's close to you.

364
00:29:06.140 --> 00:29:07.460
So if that's you,

365
00:29:08.020 --> 00:29:11.180
I really want to encourage you to step into that forgiveness water because it's

366
00:29:11.180 --> 00:29:13.500
flowing tonight. It's always flowing,

367
00:29:13.780 --> 00:29:17.500
but I just want you to know God is highlighting that for those of you that maybe

368
00:29:17.500 --> 00:29:22.500
even have been in a lot of religious settings where you just never feel good

369
00:29:24.140 --> 00:29:27.740
enough spiritually. And God wants to break that off of you.

370
00:29:27.740 --> 00:29:32.740
Matthew 22 39 says, uh, this is going back to our forgiveness vein.

371
00:29:33.740 --> 00:29:36.900
Love your neighbor as you love yourself.

372
00:29:38.180 --> 00:29:40.060
Here's the, here's the tricky part.

373
00:29:41.700 --> 00:29:46.580
If we don't love ourselves, how can we then love other people?

374
00:29:49.940 --> 00:29:53.980
So many of us, we like ourselves, but the love ourselves,

375
00:29:53.980 --> 00:29:55.500
that's a whole different level.

376
00:29:57.540 --> 00:30:00.060
I remember being in rooms by myself and just

377
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.480
feeling like the room was empty and I remember one day God really just

378
00:30:05.480 --> 00:30:09.160
ministering to me breaking off those pangs of loneliness that I used to

379
00:30:09.160 --> 00:30:15.320
deeply deeply struggle with and just all of a sudden it started like I started

380
00:30:15.320 --> 00:30:23.400
realizing like oh like I'm here so even though I'm the only one here in my

381
00:30:23.400 --> 00:30:29.240
apartment my house is full and I know that might be like what do you mean

382
00:30:29.240 --> 00:30:34.840
Bethany well I believe that I bring fullness I bring the fullness of Christ

383
00:30:34.840 --> 00:30:40.480
everywhere I go I believe that I change the atmosphere because God tells me that

384
00:30:40.480 --> 00:30:45.520
I do when I come into a room I bring him with me so even if I was sitting in a

385
00:30:45.520 --> 00:30:52.120
room by myself isn't it full now yes when more people come in the room that's

386
00:30:52.120 --> 00:30:58.040
a whole different idea of fool but God wanted me to understand that the

387
00:30:58.040 --> 00:31:07.080
presence that he put in me matters and it helped me really heal from that place

388
00:31:07.080 --> 00:31:12.560
of feeling like there was a void if somebody else wasn't always with me

389
00:31:12.560 --> 00:31:18.200
because see I used to think that I had to have a guy to feel complete that

390
00:31:18.200 --> 00:31:24.600
isn't true do I believe that God wanted to bless me with a spirit mate to be a

391
00:31:24.600 --> 00:31:29.880
teammate with and a partner with in the in this amazing life yes I do but

392
00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:36.080
there's a difference the more that I healed it was one whole person plus one

393
00:31:36.080 --> 00:31:43.280
whole person coming together as a team becoming one it wasn't I needed the

394
00:31:43.280 --> 00:31:47.160
person I was a half of a person and I needed the other half of a person to

395
00:31:47.160 --> 00:31:52.680
complete me to be one no I don't know why this has nothing to do with

396
00:31:52.680 --> 00:31:55.680
forgiveness but I just keep feeling like to go into some of these things so

397
00:31:55.680 --> 00:31:59.680
we're going we're going wherever the Holy Spirit leads so I want you all to

398
00:31:59.680 --> 00:32:04.200
really like kind of be thinking about you know what do you believe about your

399
00:32:04.200 --> 00:32:10.800
own presence and and and loving yourself and and and having the capacity to then

400
00:32:10.800 --> 00:32:17.440
love other other people again out of the overflow of God's love in you forgiveness

401
00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:23.360
is not a feeling it's a choice Ephesians 423 says this forgive one

402
00:32:23.360 --> 00:32:29.560
another just as God forgave you because of what Christ has done

403
00:32:29.560 --> 00:32:37.560
Colossians 313 remember the Lord forgave you so you must also forgive others and

404
00:32:37.560 --> 00:32:44.360
here's a key we have to forgive all the characters in this story including

405
00:32:44.360 --> 00:32:51.760
ourselves if and when that is needed now I really want to emphasize I know

406
00:32:51.760 --> 00:32:55.200
that there's several of you in the in the community right now in this group

407
00:32:55.200 --> 00:33:01.000
that have been abused when you were younger when we are children that you

408
00:33:01.000 --> 00:33:10.960
all you don't know how to stop it as a kid okay it's not your fault what

409
00:33:10.960 --> 00:33:17.560
someone did to you that's not your fault now when we become of age if we

410
00:33:17.560 --> 00:33:21.680
turn around and then abuse someone else well then that's something yes we need

411
00:33:21.680 --> 00:33:25.920
to ask for forgiveness for that that's something that we did but when you're a

412
00:33:25.920 --> 00:33:30.760
child even if you know and I and I know some people are like well I didn't get

413
00:33:30.760 --> 00:33:35.160
abused the way someone else did and you know they grew me and and they so they

414
00:33:35.160 --> 00:33:39.440
feel like they should have known better or something but again as a child a can

415
00:33:39.440 --> 00:33:43.600
I just call it out our brains aren't even developed enough to know what to do

416
00:33:43.600 --> 00:33:49.640
with that kind of a thing let's just call it that part of it but it's not

417
00:33:49.640 --> 00:33:54.200
your fault but some of you you've been carrying that like it is your fault and

418
00:33:54.200 --> 00:33:57.720
the Lord wants you to forgive yourself remember that forgiveness is gonna

419
00:33:57.720 --> 00:34:03.600
happen in layers as well this is really important so many times in the past I

420
00:34:03.600 --> 00:34:08.639
can remember especially with my brothers and the sexual abuse I had gone through

421
00:34:08.639 --> 00:34:13.480
I would forgive them and then something would happen and then I would feel all

422
00:34:13.480 --> 00:34:17.080
this anger and all this grief and all this stuff again and I'm and I can

423
00:34:17.080 --> 00:34:21.040
remember thinking well I thought I forgave them like why is this coming

424
00:34:21.040 --> 00:34:27.080
back up again and I would feel that all this frustration and on my journey what

425
00:34:27.080 --> 00:34:32.679
the Lord taught me is that healing happens in layers because see what was

426
00:34:32.679 --> 00:34:37.880
happening is my heart was healing I was forgiving but then I would actually get

427
00:34:37.880 --> 00:34:42.880
a new piece of information even though majority of the story was similar there

428
00:34:42.880 --> 00:34:48.320
was a new piece that kind of came with it and that was where then okay then

429
00:34:48.320 --> 00:34:52.560
there's new information here there's another layer to this story which

430
00:34:52.560 --> 00:34:57.680
included then okay I've got to forgive this aspect of this and maybe it was

431
00:34:57.680 --> 00:35:01.880
forgiving myself in some way that like

432
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.880
Even I would say like holding anger towards myself

433
00:35:03.880 --> 00:35:06.600
or resenting my own self and forgiving myself

434
00:35:06.600 --> 00:35:08.200
for resenting myself.

435
00:35:08.200 --> 00:35:10.320
I know it kind of sounds like I'm talking in circles

436
00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:12.920
probably a little bit on this topic tonight,

437
00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:15.080
but this is how it goes, you all.

438
00:35:15.080 --> 00:35:17.560
We kind of go in these circles and circles and circles

439
00:35:17.560 --> 00:35:20.860
and the Lord is like, okay, I want to stop the cycle

440
00:35:20.860 --> 00:35:23.160
and I'm opening the gate.

441
00:35:23.160 --> 00:35:25.760
The gate's already been opened through Jesus Christ,

442
00:35:25.760 --> 00:35:27.840
but tonight it's like he's opening the gate

443
00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:31.680
and showing us with revelation that we can go out.

444
00:35:31.680 --> 00:35:34.000
We don't have to continue in that cycle,

445
00:35:34.000 --> 00:35:36.960
but the reality is is that you might walk

446
00:35:36.960 --> 00:35:38.440
a little bit further down the road

447
00:35:38.440 --> 00:35:40.800
and there might be another aspect

448
00:35:40.800 --> 00:35:42.880
of something that you went through.

449
00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:45.940
I like to talk about it like God saying,

450
00:35:45.940 --> 00:35:48.700
let's just take another little peek up under this hood.

451
00:35:49.780 --> 00:35:52.720
Not that you have to walk back through the whole thing again

452
00:35:52.720 --> 00:35:55.120
but there's something that God is showing you

453
00:35:55.120 --> 00:35:58.400
and he wants to help you heal in that new aspect,

454
00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:03.000
that new revelation and take you further into freedom,

455
00:36:03.000 --> 00:36:06.760
not take you backwards into desperation and despair.

456
00:36:06.760 --> 00:36:09.520
Now, if you're getting sucked backwards,

457
00:36:09.520 --> 00:36:13.760
I would say that there's probably a lot of lies

458
00:36:13.760 --> 00:36:15.480
and things that you're partnering with

459
00:36:15.480 --> 00:36:18.020
that kind of are in that grief zone.

460
00:36:18.020 --> 00:36:19.720
And again, it's not your fault,

461
00:36:19.720 --> 00:36:21.760
but shame and condemnation and guilt

462
00:36:21.760 --> 00:36:23.020
also tend to hang out there

463
00:36:23.020 --> 00:36:25.260
and that can suck people into depression

464
00:36:25.260 --> 00:36:26.740
and all kinds of things,

465
00:36:26.740 --> 00:36:30.900
really like self-hatred, self-loathing.

466
00:36:30.900 --> 00:36:35.140
So if you feel that way a lot, again, it's not your fault,

467
00:36:35.140 --> 00:36:36.180
but I want you to understand

468
00:36:36.180 --> 00:36:38.260
the enemy is trying to keep you there.

469
00:36:38.260 --> 00:36:42.220
That's a spirit that is at war against you.

470
00:36:42.220 --> 00:36:44.180
So you have to take authority over that.

471
00:36:44.180 --> 00:36:46.440
And I won't go into that, how to do that tonight,

472
00:36:46.440 --> 00:36:48.700
but I just wanna kind of share that with you

473
00:36:48.700 --> 00:36:52.140
because I do recognize some people in those cycles

474
00:36:52.140 --> 00:36:54.620
of that deep desperation, that self-hatred,

475
00:36:54.620 --> 00:36:58.460
that self-loathing, and the spirit of the Lord

476
00:36:58.460 --> 00:36:59.500
is what can break that.

477
00:36:59.500 --> 00:37:01.500
The blood of Jesus Christ has already been shed

478
00:37:01.500 --> 00:37:05.800
for your freedom from that spirit and from that battle,

479
00:37:05.800 --> 00:37:07.620
but we just have to learn how to apply it

480
00:37:07.620 --> 00:37:09.740
and declare the blood of Jesus Christ

481
00:37:09.740 --> 00:37:11.880
over ourselves in those ways.

482
00:37:11.880 --> 00:37:13.180
All right, I'm gonna keep going.

483
00:37:13.180 --> 00:37:15.500
Victim versus survivor versus thriving.

484
00:37:15.500 --> 00:37:17.860
I wanna talk about this really quickly tonight.

485
00:37:18.700 --> 00:37:22.140
Victims tend to feel helpless.

486
00:37:22.140 --> 00:37:24.300
They tend to blame other people

487
00:37:24.300 --> 00:37:27.380
and they tend to focus on the past.

488
00:37:29.760 --> 00:37:31.460
I'm gonna say that again.

489
00:37:31.460 --> 00:37:35.440
Victims tend to feel helpless, blame others,

490
00:37:35.440 --> 00:37:37.660
and focus on the past.

491
00:37:37.660 --> 00:37:39.380
And before I go into all these,

492
00:37:39.380 --> 00:37:41.620
I want you all to understand

493
00:37:41.620 --> 00:37:44.980
you're not necessarily gonna be in

494
00:37:45.820 --> 00:37:48.660
only one of these categories.

495
00:37:48.660 --> 00:37:51.600
Sometimes we can be like surviving

496
00:37:51.600 --> 00:37:53.500
in one area of our heart and lives

497
00:37:53.500 --> 00:37:57.180
and victim mode in another place, okay?

498
00:37:57.180 --> 00:37:59.540
So I think that's important to point out as well.

499
00:37:59.540 --> 00:38:01.260
All right, survivors are people

500
00:38:01.260 --> 00:38:05.420
that have typically reclaimed their power.

501
00:38:06.280 --> 00:38:09.300
They take responsibility for their choices

502
00:38:10.460 --> 00:38:12.360
and they choose to heal.

503
00:38:13.360 --> 00:38:16.480
A lot of times survivors will start doing self-care.

504
00:38:16.480 --> 00:38:19.280
They'll start saying no, so okay.

505
00:38:19.280 --> 00:38:20.680
Typically they're starting to work

506
00:38:20.680 --> 00:38:24.020
on setting some boundaries on a basic level.

507
00:38:24.020 --> 00:38:26.440
But here's the catch with survivor,

508
00:38:26.440 --> 00:38:29.100
and I'm not saying this isn't good.

509
00:38:29.100 --> 00:38:31.760
It's just I'm saying I want you to see the difference

510
00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:35.940
between surviving and thriving when we shift into thriving.

511
00:38:35.940 --> 00:38:40.940
Survivors tend to continue to live, to exist, okay?

512
00:38:43.080 --> 00:38:47.040
Where thriving, and Rebecca, I do see that.

513
00:38:47.040 --> 00:38:49.440
Probably the best way is just to try to go back

514
00:38:49.440 --> 00:38:51.680
and listen to the replay where you can pause

515
00:38:51.680 --> 00:38:53.760
and take notes for yourself.

516
00:38:53.760 --> 00:38:56.440
That will be the quickest way for you to get these.

517
00:38:56.440 --> 00:39:00.120
But the thriving is when we focus on the future.

518
00:39:01.520 --> 00:39:03.540
People that are thriving tend to have power

519
00:39:03.540 --> 00:39:04.520
regarding their future.

520
00:39:04.520 --> 00:39:05.440
There's a hope.

521
00:39:05.440 --> 00:39:08.320
They see something beyond where they are.

522
00:39:08.320 --> 00:39:10.600
They surround themselves with other people

523
00:39:10.640 --> 00:39:12.560
who are thriving.

524
00:39:12.560 --> 00:39:13.680
They tend to grow.

525
00:39:13.680 --> 00:39:14.840
They tend to develop.

526
00:39:14.840 --> 00:39:17.920
They tend to prosper, and they tend to flourish.

527
00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:20.960
And again, I'm not sharing these to cause any kind of shame.

528
00:39:20.960 --> 00:39:23.800
I just want you all to see kind of the different places

529
00:39:23.800 --> 00:39:26.540
that we can be in in our minds.

530
00:39:26.540 --> 00:39:30.560
And remember, our minds and our hearts are connected.

531
00:39:30.560 --> 00:39:33.760
Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth is gonna speak.

532
00:39:33.760 --> 00:39:36.200
And oftentimes what we think in our hearts

533
00:39:36.200 --> 00:39:37.320
is what we meditate on.

534
00:39:37.320 --> 00:39:39.120
Do you see how that works?

535
00:39:39.120 --> 00:39:41.560
So your mind and your mouth are,

536
00:39:41.560 --> 00:39:45.000
whatever's in these two places is indicator,

537
00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:48.340
signal, signal, signal of what's down in here.

538
00:39:51.080 --> 00:39:54.660
The victim, yeah, some of what I shared is in the book, Amy,

539
00:39:54.660 --> 00:39:57.120
but actually this thing that I just went through

540
00:39:57.120 --> 00:40:00.120
is something I developed myself specifically.

541
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:17.000
So, I want you to think about how can I shift from victim mentality, victim heart postures

542
00:40:17.000 --> 00:40:24.520
to not just be a survivor, but to be a thriving person.

543
00:40:24.520 --> 00:40:31.640
And to really pray into God, like, where do I tend to fall into victim mindsets and victim

544
00:40:31.640 --> 00:40:33.840
heart postures?

545
00:40:33.840 --> 00:40:37.120
And he will start to show you those things.

546
00:40:37.120 --> 00:40:41.480
As we keep moving forward, stressors may also still be there, but the, like people that

547
00:40:41.480 --> 00:40:46.560
are thriving, they might still have stressors, but the difference is they've learned and

548
00:40:46.560 --> 00:40:53.320
they've healed enough to respond versus that reaction, right?

549
00:40:53.640 --> 00:40:58.040
Like I said, the reaction can be big, anger, frustration, or it can be withdrawal, pull

550
00:40:58.040 --> 00:40:59.920
back in isolation.

551
00:40:59.920 --> 00:41:02.400
The land of thrive sounds like this.

552
00:41:02.400 --> 00:41:06.840
People tend to make choices about what do you want to do?

553
00:41:06.840 --> 00:41:09.060
How do you want to experience the world?

554
00:41:09.060 --> 00:41:10.060
How will you act?

555
00:41:10.060 --> 00:41:14.240
What kind of attitude do you want to have and show up with?

556
00:41:14.240 --> 00:41:20.160
Are you going to focus your resources, opportunities that you want to create for yourself?

557
00:41:20.880 --> 00:41:24.360
But you might be like, well, wait, I thought God was supposed to tell me what to do.

558
00:41:24.360 --> 00:41:29.440
Well, God does have plans and promises for us and he tells us what they are in his word.

559
00:41:29.440 --> 00:41:31.600
And then he also will give us words and direction.

560
00:41:31.600 --> 00:41:32.840
Yes, of course.

561
00:41:32.840 --> 00:41:35.240
But y'all, we get to partner in that.

562
00:41:35.240 --> 00:41:40.000
This isn't like, God's not just this main, like this mean dictator.

563
00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:41.400
Like we do get to choose.

564
00:41:41.400 --> 00:41:46.560
I remember the first time I heard Jackie Dorman say that God was going to give us choices

565
00:41:46.560 --> 00:41:52.320
and as a person in the community back in that time, man, I was like, whoa, because

566
00:41:52.320 --> 00:41:55.760
I would always in the back of the day, I would date one guy and I'd be with him and he'd

567
00:41:55.760 --> 00:41:58.040
be super unhealthy and I would just keep dating him.

568
00:41:58.040 --> 00:41:59.040
And that was my cycle.

569
00:41:59.040 --> 00:42:02.400
And then I'd break up with him and then I'd find someone else that was super unhealthy

570
00:42:02.400 --> 00:42:03.520
and I would just date him.

571
00:42:03.520 --> 00:42:11.040
But I never considered that God might want me to date a couple people and figure out

572
00:42:11.040 --> 00:42:14.840
really who is healthy for me.

573
00:42:14.840 --> 00:42:16.480
I know for some of you, you're like, what?

574
00:42:16.480 --> 00:42:17.480
I can't do that.

575
00:42:17.480 --> 00:42:18.480
Okay.

576
00:42:18.480 --> 00:42:19.480
Don't go there.

577
00:42:19.480 --> 00:42:20.480
Stay open-minded.

578
00:42:20.480 --> 00:42:24.280
You're going to learn a lot in this community if you stick around for a while and it's very

579
00:42:24.280 --> 00:42:25.960
effective.

580
00:42:25.960 --> 00:42:30.520
So tonight we are going to go into the breakout session and I want you to talk to the ladies

581
00:42:30.520 --> 00:42:34.440
in your group about who do you need to forgive tonight and why.

582
00:42:34.440 --> 00:42:38.140
Who is someone that God has been bringing to your heart tonight that you need to forgive

583
00:42:38.140 --> 00:42:40.020
and why do you need to forgive them?

584
00:42:40.020 --> 00:42:43.400
If that is you, if it's yourself, then talk about that.

585
00:42:43.400 --> 00:42:44.400
If it's someone else.

586
00:42:44.960 --> 00:42:47.720
Now don't feel like, remember, these are short, brief, and powerful.

587
00:42:47.720 --> 00:42:50.840
Don't feel like you have to share every gory detail, okay?

588
00:42:50.840 --> 00:42:54.800
This is high level, but y'all can get to know each other a little bit as well.

589
00:42:54.800 --> 00:43:00.080
I love being able to see y'all connecting a little bit to where you're from, what led

590
00:43:00.080 --> 00:43:01.760
you to the community.

591
00:43:01.760 --> 00:43:05.960
Have a good time while you're in there.

592
00:43:05.960 --> 00:43:07.960
Do three people to group.

593
00:43:07.960 --> 00:43:08.960
Yeah.

594
00:43:08.960 --> 00:43:13.960
And I think we'll still do seven minutes.

595
00:43:14.520 --> 00:43:15.520
All right.

596
00:43:15.520 --> 00:43:16.520
I'm going to go ahead and put these up.

597
00:43:16.520 --> 00:43:19.160
Go ahead and click to join those as quick as you can.

598
00:43:19.160 --> 00:43:23.480
As soon as I get everyone situated in the rooms, then we will, I'll go ahead and pray

599
00:43:23.480 --> 00:43:24.480
here.

600
00:43:24.480 --> 00:43:46.240
Father, thank you so much for everything that you're doing in our hearts and our lives.

601
00:43:46.240 --> 00:43:50.400
Got to thank you for the revealings, for the healing that are happening tonight.

602
00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:56.840
I thank you that you are just coming and just removing all the chaff and all the distractions

603
00:43:56.840 --> 00:44:00.640
and all the debris, if you will, that has bogged us down for years.

604
00:44:00.640 --> 00:44:02.000
Got to thank you.

605
00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:09.920
Yes, Lord, just for cell regeneration in our bodies, Lord, I thank you that you created

606
00:44:09.920 --> 00:44:15.720
our bodies so magnificently, I almost couldn't say it.

607
00:44:15.720 --> 00:44:20.520
God, I thank you, God, intricately, God, that you're forming new neuropathways in our

608
00:44:20.520 --> 00:44:26.480
brains, God, that you're creating new healthy cells, God, and I just feel like so much to

609
00:44:26.480 --> 00:44:27.480
pray around that.

610
00:44:27.480 --> 00:44:31.960
So someone just, if they need healing, God, I thank you for healing in their bodies.

611
00:44:31.960 --> 00:44:35.960
Not just me being sick, but I just sense someone else in the community has a need.

612
00:44:35.960 --> 00:44:37.800
And so God, I thank you for meeting that need.

613
00:44:37.800 --> 00:44:42.680
God, I thank you for helping all of these ladies to forgive those who have harmed them

614
00:44:42.680 --> 00:44:44.920
in any way.

615
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.480
Are you able to click to go back in there?

616
00:45:02.480 --> 00:45:04.520
I can sure try.

617
00:45:04.520 --> 00:45:06.360
Yeah, let me know if you can go.

618
00:45:06.360 --> 00:45:07.440
Go ahead and try.

619
00:45:07.440 --> 00:45:08.280
Okay.

620
00:45:11.840 --> 00:45:13.400
Yeah, so what room was that?

621
00:45:13.400 --> 00:45:16.240
That was six.

622
00:45:16.240 --> 00:45:17.920
And I was late.

623
00:45:17.920 --> 00:45:18.760
Oh, that's okay, Glenna.

624
00:45:18.760 --> 00:45:19.600
Hold on one second.

625
00:45:19.600 --> 00:45:20.840
You're right on time.

626
00:45:20.840 --> 00:45:21.800
I'm just gonna find a room.

627
00:45:21.800 --> 00:45:24.240
Let me put you in room four here.

628
00:45:24.240 --> 00:45:25.200
Okay, thank you.

629
00:45:26.720 --> 00:45:28.040
Did I lose Gina?

630
00:45:29.040 --> 00:45:30.880
I think I lost her.

631
00:45:45.040 --> 00:45:46.280
All right, well, I'm gonna keep praying.

632
00:45:46.280 --> 00:45:51.000
I think we've got somebody by themselves, though.

633
00:45:52.720 --> 00:45:53.560
Sorry, ladies.

634
00:45:53.560 --> 00:45:54.760
Give me one second.

635
00:45:54.760 --> 00:45:57.560
I don't want that lady sitting by herself.

636
00:45:59.040 --> 00:45:59.880
There we go.

637
00:45:59.880 --> 00:46:00.720
Okay, thank you.

638
00:46:00.720 --> 00:46:04.280
Father, thank you so much for helping people move around

639
00:46:04.280 --> 00:46:06.600
and for these ladies to be patient as we're doing so.

640
00:46:06.600 --> 00:46:08.120
God, I thank you for,

641
00:46:10.600 --> 00:46:12.560
yeah, Lord, just where there's been offenses

642
00:46:12.560 --> 00:46:15.160
from just family hurt,

643
00:46:15.160 --> 00:46:17.480
I'm just hearing the Lord say family reconciliation.

644
00:46:17.480 --> 00:46:19.880
So Lord, we're just asking you to bring healing

645
00:46:19.880 --> 00:46:22.160
and relationships and families represented here

646
00:46:22.160 --> 00:46:24.120
by those in the heart work, those that are live,

647
00:46:24.120 --> 00:46:25.520
those that are gonna watch the replay,

648
00:46:25.520 --> 00:46:27.000
those that are gonna watch the video,

649
00:46:27.040 --> 00:46:28.120
those that are gonna watch the replay.

650
00:46:28.120 --> 00:46:31.960
God, I thank you for repairing the breach

651
00:46:31.960 --> 00:46:34.320
where there's broken and fallen places.

652
00:46:34.320 --> 00:46:38.440
God, I thank you for, yeah, bringing mending tools.

653
00:46:38.440 --> 00:46:39.880
I just heard that in this spirit.

654
00:46:39.880 --> 00:46:41.000
So Lord, we thank you for that.

655
00:46:41.000 --> 00:46:44.200
Ephesians 4.27 in the Amplified Version says this.

656
00:46:44.200 --> 00:46:46.000
Do not give place to the enemy.

657
00:46:46.000 --> 00:46:48.600
Don't give him legal access to your life and your family,

658
00:46:48.600 --> 00:46:50.840
and do not give the devil an opportunity

659
00:46:50.840 --> 00:46:53.640
to lead you into sin by holding a grudge

660
00:46:53.640 --> 00:46:56.080
or nurturing anger or harboring resentment

661
00:46:56.120 --> 00:46:57.760
or cultivating bitterness.

662
00:46:59.120 --> 00:47:00.840
Forgiveness has yet another benefit,

663
00:47:00.840 --> 00:47:04.360
and that is protecting you from the enemy's future plans

664
00:47:04.360 --> 00:47:06.040
and plots against you.

665
00:47:06.040 --> 00:47:09.080
So Father, I just thank you that you would just cover us

666
00:47:10.120 --> 00:47:11.600
with the power of your presence.

667
00:47:11.600 --> 00:47:12.840
I thank you that you would hide us

668
00:47:12.840 --> 00:47:15.320
under the shadow of your wings and in your presence, Lord,

669
00:47:15.320 --> 00:47:17.760
just like Psalm 91 declares.

670
00:47:17.760 --> 00:47:20.880
I just declare the armor of God and the hedge of protection

671
00:47:20.880 --> 00:47:23.080
around every one of these ladies and their families.

672
00:47:23.080 --> 00:47:24.560
God, I thank you that you would help us

673
00:47:24.560 --> 00:47:26.080
to be quick to forgive.

674
00:47:27.040 --> 00:47:29.240
Yes, Lord, that we would be quick to listen

675
00:47:29.240 --> 00:47:31.000
and slow to speak.

676
00:47:31.000 --> 00:47:32.640
God, where we tend to get angry,

677
00:47:32.640 --> 00:47:35.920
God, I pray that you bring healing down into the core

678
00:47:35.920 --> 00:47:39.200
because underneath the anger typically is hurt

679
00:47:39.200 --> 00:47:40.880
and sadness and pain.

680
00:47:40.880 --> 00:47:41.800
So Lord, we just thank you

681
00:47:41.800 --> 00:47:43.760
that you would bring the balm of Gilead

682
00:47:43.760 --> 00:47:47.120
and place it upon our hearts and the depths of our souls,

683
00:47:48.400 --> 00:47:51.280
that you would bring healing and revitalization

684
00:47:51.320 --> 00:47:54.760
is what I heard in the spirit, revitalization.

685
00:47:54.760 --> 00:47:56.680
And we just thank you that you're doing that

686
00:47:56.680 --> 00:47:59.120
in our spirits right now.

687
00:47:59.120 --> 00:48:02.080
Proverbs 14.30 in the message translation says this,

688
00:48:02.080 --> 00:48:05.840
a sound mind makes for a robust body,

689
00:48:05.840 --> 00:48:09.560
but runaway emotions corrode the bones.

690
00:48:09.560 --> 00:48:12.080
God, I pray that you would help us.

691
00:48:12.080 --> 00:48:17.080
Even as I myself have just had a lot of hormonal fluctuations

692
00:48:17.200 --> 00:48:18.720
in the last few years,

693
00:48:18.720 --> 00:48:20.040
there have been days where I'm like,

694
00:48:20.040 --> 00:48:24.520
Lord Jesus, help me to control these emotions.

695
00:48:24.520 --> 00:48:27.480
And so I feel like sometimes we can believe the lie

696
00:48:27.480 --> 00:48:29.080
that we cannot control them,

697
00:48:29.080 --> 00:48:32.360
but God gave us the fruit of the spirit of self-control.

698
00:48:32.360 --> 00:48:34.200
And so I wanna encourage you to partner

699
00:48:34.200 --> 00:48:36.800
with that fruit of the spirit of self-control

700
00:48:37.880 --> 00:48:42.880
in all ways, including that we would really like slow down

701
00:48:42.960 --> 00:48:45.160
and slow our reactions down

702
00:48:45.160 --> 00:48:48.360
and be willing to hear what the spirit is saying

703
00:48:48.400 --> 00:48:51.640
before we make a judgment call or react in a situation.

704
00:48:51.640 --> 00:48:55.000
And we just thank you, God, for healing us and changing us

705
00:48:55.000 --> 00:48:56.880
and giving us your eyes to see

706
00:48:56.880 --> 00:48:59.200
and your heart to feel and experience.

707
00:49:00.320 --> 00:49:04.200
John 14, verse 30, 14, excuse me,

708
00:49:04.200 --> 00:49:06.440
verse 30 in the Amplified says this,

709
00:49:06.440 --> 00:49:08.720
Jesus said, I will not speak with you much longer

710
00:49:08.720 --> 00:49:10.860
for the ruler of the world, Satan, is coming

711
00:49:10.860 --> 00:49:14.240
and he has no claim on me, no power over me,

712
00:49:14.240 --> 00:49:16.960
nor anything that he can use against me.

713
00:49:16.960 --> 00:49:20.040
So this is just reminding you in,

714
00:49:20.040 --> 00:49:21.040
this is in the heartbreak book,

715
00:49:21.040 --> 00:49:23.040
it actually says victim to victor.

716
00:49:23.040 --> 00:49:26.700
So as we were talking about that transition from victims

717
00:49:26.700 --> 00:49:29.480
to survivors to thriving, this is where Amy was saying,

718
00:49:29.480 --> 00:49:31.920
it does talk about this in the book a little bit,

719
00:49:33.020 --> 00:49:36.280
but the enemy will try to convince us that he wins

720
00:49:36.280 --> 00:49:37.780
or that he has the upper hand,

721
00:49:37.780 --> 00:49:40.000
but he's never had the upper hand.

722
00:49:40.000 --> 00:49:42.600
And so Jesus is sitting on the throne.

723
00:49:42.600 --> 00:49:44.680
He's sitting at the right hand of the father right now,

724
00:49:44.680 --> 00:49:47.280
interceding for you by name.

725
00:49:47.280 --> 00:49:49.200
I see Grace and I see Rupa on here,

726
00:49:49.200 --> 00:49:50.760
I'm just gonna say their names.

727
00:49:51.920 --> 00:49:53.480
Anyone else that's joining live

728
00:49:53.480 --> 00:49:55.640
or that's in our breakout rooms right now,

729
00:49:55.640 --> 00:49:58.320
he calls us by name, he sees our need

730
00:49:58.320 --> 00:50:00.080
and he wants you to know that.

731
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.840
He is working in your life right now.

732
00:50:02.840 --> 00:50:05.200
No matter what the enemy's been saying to you,

733
00:50:05.200 --> 00:50:07.400
we talked about this on the prophetic night last night,

734
00:50:07.400 --> 00:50:10.000
the enemy, his lies tend to be louder

735
00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:11.560
than the truth sometimes,

736
00:50:11.560 --> 00:50:15.280
because the truth does tend to come more quietly,

737
00:50:15.280 --> 00:50:18.800
but that doesn't mean the truth is less powerful

738
00:50:18.800 --> 00:50:19.920
than the lies.

739
00:50:19.920 --> 00:50:22.760
Remember, light, excuse me,

740
00:50:22.760 --> 00:50:25.120
darkness cannot remain where the light is.

741
00:50:25.120 --> 00:50:27.920
So as soon as the light of Christ comes in,

742
00:50:27.920 --> 00:50:29.560
darkness has to flee.

743
00:50:29.600 --> 00:50:32.000
Ephesians 4, 26 through 27

744
00:50:32.000 --> 00:50:33.520
in the Passion Translation says this,

745
00:50:33.520 --> 00:50:37.320
but don't let the passion of your emotions lead you to sin.

746
00:50:37.320 --> 00:50:40.280
Don't let anger control you or be fuel for revenge,

747
00:50:40.280 --> 00:50:42.040
not even for a day.

748
00:50:42.040 --> 00:50:44.520
Don't give the slanderous accuser, the devil,

749
00:50:44.520 --> 00:50:48.280
an opportunity to manipulate you.

750
00:50:49.680 --> 00:50:51.920
Yes, Lord, so we just come against the spirit

751
00:50:51.920 --> 00:50:56.040
of manipulation and control right now in Jesus' name.

752
00:50:56.040 --> 00:50:58.360
We just bind and break these spirits off of us,

753
00:50:58.360 --> 00:51:00.000
off of our minds.

754
00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:04.080
Yes, Lord, where there's been generational things inherited,

755
00:51:04.080 --> 00:51:06.720
yes, regarding spirits of manipulation and control,

756
00:51:06.720 --> 00:51:08.640
we will no longer partner with those things,

757
00:51:08.640 --> 00:51:11.440
that we will be women that walk in the divine feminine,

758
00:51:11.440 --> 00:51:14.120
that we will surrender the pen to you, Lord,

759
00:51:14.120 --> 00:51:19.120
that we will walk in just sensitivity and grace

760
00:51:19.200 --> 00:51:21.320
in everything that we do and say,

761
00:51:21.320 --> 00:51:22.480
welcome back, ladies.

762
00:51:22.480 --> 00:51:24.720
I've been having a good time here.

763
00:51:24.720 --> 00:51:27.120
Y'all can check that out later if you want.

764
00:51:27.120 --> 00:51:29.280
When the replay comes back, welcome back.

765
00:51:29.280 --> 00:51:32.080
Our activations for this week.

766
00:51:33.360 --> 00:51:35.960
Y'all, I'm saying all kinds of funny things tonight again.

767
00:51:35.960 --> 00:51:38.520
Okay, so this week,

768
00:51:38.520 --> 00:51:41.280
you're gonna print out forgiveness prayer sheets.

769
00:51:41.280 --> 00:51:42.560
If you don't know where to find those,

770
00:51:42.560 --> 00:51:44.960
those are under the welcome tab in the app.

771
00:51:44.960 --> 00:51:46.640
They're also under week four.

772
00:51:46.640 --> 00:51:48.360
You're gonna print those out

773
00:51:48.360 --> 00:51:50.280
and you're gonna write out forgiveness prayer sheets

774
00:51:50.280 --> 00:51:53.240
for anybody that you need to forgive, including yourself.

775
00:51:53.240 --> 00:51:56.120
Now, when you do these, I really wanna encourage you,

776
00:51:56.120 --> 00:51:58.440
don't do them like in a general statement.

777
00:51:58.440 --> 00:51:59.960
I've like, I'm just gonna make this up.

778
00:51:59.960 --> 00:52:02.840
I forgive John for hurting me.

779
00:52:02.840 --> 00:52:04.560
Okay, I'm not saying that's not effective,

780
00:52:04.560 --> 00:52:09.440
but you really wanna state what you're forgiving them for,

781
00:52:09.440 --> 00:52:11.880
you know, and if there's multiple things

782
00:52:11.880 --> 00:52:13.880
or just even additional feelings

783
00:52:13.880 --> 00:52:15.720
that came because of what happened,

784
00:52:15.720 --> 00:52:19.000
just really, this is your time to get it all out of there.

785
00:52:19.000 --> 00:52:20.240
Because think about it,

786
00:52:20.240 --> 00:52:23.080
what we don't get out, we're carrying around.

787
00:52:23.080 --> 00:52:25.120
Isn't that weighty and heavy?

788
00:52:25.120 --> 00:52:28.280
Yeah, let's just get that crap out of us.

789
00:52:28.280 --> 00:52:30.040
Let's get it on out, all right?

790
00:52:30.040 --> 00:52:32.280
And then we want you to create a post in the group

791
00:52:32.280 --> 00:52:35.480
and tell us about somebody that you forgave and why.

792
00:52:35.480 --> 00:52:38.320
Again, you don't have to share every detail,

793
00:52:38.320 --> 00:52:41.280
but remember that as you share,

794
00:52:41.280 --> 00:52:43.480
your breakthrough is gonna create breakthrough

795
00:52:43.480 --> 00:52:45.960
for somebody else in here.

796
00:52:45.960 --> 00:52:47.200
That's how it works, ladies.

797
00:52:47.200 --> 00:52:49.200
It happens like this all the time.

798
00:52:49.200 --> 00:52:50.480
Somebody's probably gonna read,

799
00:52:50.480 --> 00:52:52.400
and I'm just using Amy as an example,

800
00:52:52.400 --> 00:52:54.520
just because again, that's so fresh in my mind

801
00:52:54.520 --> 00:52:56.720
because it really spoke to me today.

802
00:52:56.720 --> 00:52:58.280
That was something I struggled with too,

803
00:52:58.280 --> 00:53:00.920
and so I could relate to her very much.

804
00:53:00.920 --> 00:53:03.240
But like, you know, when someone else gets vulnerable,

805
00:53:03.240 --> 00:53:05.240
because y'all hear us coach all the time,

806
00:53:05.240 --> 00:53:06.960
but when someone else gets vulnerable in the group

807
00:53:06.960 --> 00:53:09.840
and they share, and then they're getting breakthrough,

808
00:53:09.840 --> 00:53:11.200
and you're like, oh my gosh,

809
00:53:11.200 --> 00:53:13.400
I've gone through the same kind of thoughts or whatever,

810
00:53:13.400 --> 00:53:14.720
like it's gonna help you get breakthrough.

811
00:53:14.720 --> 00:53:17.720
So remember, all of y'all, your shares matter

812
00:53:17.720 --> 00:53:19.480
and it's really important, okay?

813
00:53:19.480 --> 00:53:23.200
All right, so who is willing to share with the whole group

814
00:53:23.200 --> 00:53:25.400
what you just shared in your breakout group?

815
00:53:26.320 --> 00:53:28.720
Karen, go ahead, Karen Perlis.

816
00:53:28.720 --> 00:53:29.760
Oh, yes.

817
00:53:29.760 --> 00:53:31.960
So I was sharing my group.

818
00:53:31.960 --> 00:53:34.960
So I have family in the Philippines

819
00:53:34.960 --> 00:53:39.960
and they reached out to my cousin here in the US

820
00:53:40.400 --> 00:53:41.520
maybe a couple of months ago

821
00:53:41.520 --> 00:53:43.680
because they were having hardships.

822
00:53:43.680 --> 00:53:46.400
And so I reached out to them directly

823
00:53:46.400 --> 00:53:50.200
and, you know, God says that we're to be generous givers

824
00:53:50.200 --> 00:53:52.960
and to not turn our backs on the poor.

825
00:53:53.720 --> 00:53:58.240
And so I sent some money, not expecting anything back.

826
00:53:58.240 --> 00:54:01.440
And then it occurred a couple more times

827
00:54:01.440 --> 00:54:04.200
and each time it was like a crisis.

828
00:54:04.200 --> 00:54:07.280
And then I got another text recently

829
00:54:07.280 --> 00:54:10.440
and it was like the same thing

830
00:54:10.440 --> 00:54:12.480
as like just begging and pleading.

831
00:54:12.480 --> 00:54:15.440
And I don't remember if I heard it in the group here,

832
00:54:15.440 --> 00:54:18.080
like, you know, if we become givers

833
00:54:18.080 --> 00:54:20.480
and we could be taken advantage of takers.

834
00:54:20.480 --> 00:54:22.280
So in my heart, I'm like,

835
00:54:23.520 --> 00:54:25.680
I don't want to give begrudgingly,

836
00:54:25.680 --> 00:54:26.520
but at the same time,

837
00:54:26.520 --> 00:54:28.720
also be willing to say no if I have to.

838
00:54:28.720 --> 00:54:30.880
Because as a single mom,

839
00:54:30.880 --> 00:54:35.880
I didn't rely on the government, my ex or my parents

840
00:54:36.560 --> 00:54:38.520
and I worked and had a job.

841
00:54:38.520 --> 00:54:41.000
Like, I don't know the living situation there,

842
00:54:41.000 --> 00:54:45.360
but married couple, can someone get two jobs,

843
00:54:45.360 --> 00:54:48.400
do what they have to, to support their family?

844
00:54:48.400 --> 00:54:50.960
So I'm like, God's not telling me

845
00:54:50.960 --> 00:54:53.240
to be their savior or their rescuer.

846
00:54:53.240 --> 00:54:55.720
So that's what I shared in the group.

847
00:54:55.720 --> 00:54:56.920
I love that, Karen.

848
00:54:56.920 --> 00:54:59.120
And so sorry, ladies.

849
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.960
You know, I think this is a case-by-case situation, you know, so when everybody hears this tonight,

850
00:55:04.960 --> 00:55:09.760
I really want everyone to pray and think about what this means for you if you're in a similar

851
00:55:09.760 --> 00:55:16.800
situation. I love that you prayed and you followed the Lord with your dynamic and situation. Brian

852
00:55:16.800 --> 00:55:22.480
and I, when we got married, we have, you know, I have a stepson and then my two spiritual daughters

853
00:55:22.480 --> 00:55:27.920
and he has two older daughters. One of the things we talked about was, you know, how are we going to

854
00:55:27.920 --> 00:55:32.640
handle dynamics if our kids come asking for money? Like, what do we both think about that and feel?

855
00:55:32.640 --> 00:55:42.320
How do we feel? And so his younger daughter had asked us a couple times, but she always paid us

856
00:55:42.320 --> 00:55:47.520
back. And so we're like, we felt good about that. That's fine. But then we started seeing it growing.

857
00:55:48.080 --> 00:55:54.800
Okay. And then she had borrowed some and then paid part of it back, but not the whole thing.

858
00:55:54.800 --> 00:55:59.280
And so then we're like, okay, this is where we're probably going to have to start drawing a line

859
00:55:59.280 --> 00:56:03.840
here. And so that was just, again, something we had to pray about. And it doesn't mean we don't

860
00:56:03.840 --> 00:56:08.400
want to help them or bless them and we'll still buy them gifts or if we feel led or want to do

861
00:56:08.400 --> 00:56:13.520
that stuff. But for us, again, there's something about when we have to set boundaries, because if

862
00:56:13.520 --> 00:56:19.360
we're not careful, then it can turn into enabling people. And then also like what you alluded to,

863
00:56:19.360 --> 00:56:24.240
sometimes we can start to resent those people, right? Even though we're still saying yes to them.

864
00:56:24.240 --> 00:56:29.120
So even though right now we're talking about money, ladies, this can apply to all kinds of

865
00:56:29.120 --> 00:56:35.200
stuff, right? So if someone is coming and asking even for your time, maybe you have a friend,

866
00:56:35.200 --> 00:56:38.800
like she's saying, they started coming and it seemed like they were always in the panic,

867
00:56:38.800 --> 00:56:44.720
like this deep need. Well, some people can come like that even emotionally towards us, right?

868
00:56:44.720 --> 00:56:50.400
And they always have these big needs. Everything's always in a panic or a drama. Something's always

869
00:56:50.400 --> 00:56:58.240
happening. Well, just because that is happening with them doesn't mean that is something we have

870
00:56:58.240 --> 00:57:04.720
to allow into our lives. And it doesn't mean we don't care about those people. We can still love

871
00:57:04.720 --> 00:57:10.000
them, but we can set a healthy boundary. And for example, one of the things I had to do,

872
00:57:11.200 --> 00:57:16.160
there was a lady that I used to lead in a totally different community. And

873
00:57:16.640 --> 00:57:23.120
so she had my cell phone number and she would message me all the time. And it was a lot of like,

874
00:57:23.120 --> 00:57:28.240
even if I like try to set a boundary, like, okay, I have to have to go work on this or,

875
00:57:28.240 --> 00:57:32.560
you know, I got to check out. And she would just keep messaging me and blowing up my phone.

876
00:57:32.560 --> 00:57:38.000
And so then I just had to kind of start pulling back more and more because even when I was trying

877
00:57:38.000 --> 00:57:44.240
to set boundaries, she wasn't listening and respecting those boundaries. And so again,

878
00:57:44.800 --> 00:57:49.840
just kind of using what Karen shared as an example to kind of show you guys some other areas,

879
00:57:49.840 --> 00:57:56.240
you may need to work on some of that. Because when we struggle to set boundaries in small ways,

880
00:57:56.880 --> 00:58:02.320
a lot of us will struggle to set boundaries in really significant ways as well. So if that is

881
00:58:02.320 --> 00:58:06.480
something that's really kind of like, ooh, that might be me. I really want you to lean into that

882
00:58:06.480 --> 00:58:12.800
with the Lord and ask him, when is the first time that I blew past this boundary?

883
00:58:13.520 --> 00:58:19.040
And who did I blow past this boundary for? Was there guilt there? You know, because people

884
00:58:19.040 --> 00:58:25.040
pleasing kicks in a lot of the time with this kind of stuff too, right? Yeah. Karen, good job. I'm

885
00:58:25.040 --> 00:58:29.600
glad that you, you know, because you're looking at it from all aspects. It's not like you don't

886
00:58:29.600 --> 00:58:34.880
care about them or don't have compassion for them. But then you started seeing a pattern. And so I

887
00:58:34.880 --> 00:58:39.120
think it's a really healthy posture and, and just see where the Lord leads you in the days ahead

888
00:58:39.280 --> 00:58:46.240
with that as well. How did they, how did they, how did it go when you said no? I haven't responded

889
00:58:46.240 --> 00:58:54.800
yet. Okay. To, you know, make sure that I was coming from a place of clarity. So. Okay. Yeah.

890
00:58:54.800 --> 00:58:59.760
So and again, not saying you have to say no, I misunderstood what you're saying. And so as you

891
00:58:59.760 --> 00:59:04.400
pray into that, if that is what you feel led to do, I think that's totally fine. And you can do

892
00:59:05.280 --> 00:59:11.520
it with a lot of grace. Be okay. If they react and aren't thrilled with it, but they might respond

893
00:59:11.520 --> 00:59:16.240
and be totally fine and say, thank you for the times you were able to help us, you know? So go

894
00:59:16.240 --> 00:59:20.640
in believing that that will be the outcome. But even if it's not, you know, don't feel like you

895
00:59:20.640 --> 00:59:26.320
have to meet their heart posture where they're at. Does that make sense? Yeah. Thank you. You're

896
00:59:27.120 --> 00:59:36.400
welcome. Yeah. Be free in that. Hannah. Hello. Hi. So what I shared in the group is that I've

897
00:59:36.400 --> 00:59:43.600
been feeling stuck with just anger and feeling unforgiveness towards the Lord for different

898
00:59:43.600 --> 00:59:52.720
things. Like watching him answer prayers for other people that I've been praying for years.

899
00:59:52.800 --> 00:59:59.680
Sometimes even a lot longer before them. And I feel that that anger really strengthens me up.

900
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:08.020
And, um, a couple of years ago, a specific trigger was my, one of my

901
01:00:01.840 --> 01:00:07.840
So what's your message to anybody traumatized as well as in sparkle?

902
01:00:08.020 --> 01:00:10.840
cousins is 11 years younger than me.

903
01:00:11.480 --> 01:00:14.360
And she told me that she was dating someone.

904
01:00:11.760 --> 01:00:14.800
I mean, even mine from a spiritual point of view..

905
01:00:14.360 --> 01:00:16.440
And then last year they got married.

906
01:00:16.880 --> 01:00:17.360
I hate it.

907
01:00:17.660 --> 01:00:23.540
And that has really impacted me a lot more than I thought it would.

908
01:00:23.560 --> 01:00:29.720
But just because she, it seems like she didn't have to date very long

909
01:00:29.720 --> 01:00:34.160
and she found her person so easily when it's been a struggle for me.

910
01:00:34.160 --> 01:00:39.000
And being 11 years older than her, it's something I've been hoping and

911
01:00:39.200 --> 01:00:44.960
praying for a lot longer and trying to do the work to be prepared for that.

912
01:00:45.720 --> 01:00:52.500
Um, so yeah, it's, it's been hard to move forward with forgiveness because

913
01:00:52.500 --> 01:00:57.880
I feel like the root of my feeling stuck in anger is towards God.

914
01:00:58.080 --> 01:00:58.120
Yeah.

915
01:00:59.320 --> 01:00:59.640
Yeah.

916
01:00:59.640 --> 01:01:01.920
And it's very common, Hannah, what you're saying.

917
01:01:01.920 --> 01:01:04.560
Thank you for sharing transparently about that.

918
01:01:04.920 --> 01:01:10.800
Um, let's look at when's the first time you believed the lie that God was answering

919
01:01:10.800 --> 01:01:12.600
prayers for other people and not for you.

920
01:01:14.600 --> 01:01:16.800
Do you remember when the first time you thought that was, it's

921
01:01:16.800 --> 01:01:17.960
okay if you don't tonight.

922
01:01:18.800 --> 01:01:19.160
Yeah.

923
01:01:19.320 --> 01:01:22.920
I'd have to think through it, but I think since childhood, just kind

924
01:01:22.920 --> 01:01:25.560
of feeling overlooked a lot of times.

925
01:01:26.560 --> 01:01:28.360
When's the first time you felt overlooked?

926
01:01:31.320 --> 01:01:36.680
Probably grade school, like just watching other people make friends

927
01:01:36.680 --> 01:01:40.080
more easily or getting this or that.

928
01:01:42.280 --> 01:01:45.440
Was there something you wanted for a birthday or Christmas that's kind of

929
01:01:45.440 --> 01:01:49.480
coming up in my spirit that you didn't get or something that you saw another

930
01:01:49.480 --> 01:01:54.360
friend get that you were hoping you would get or something around that dynamic?

931
01:01:56.000 --> 01:02:00.600
Um, nothing specifically, but we didn't have a ton of money growing up.

932
01:02:00.600 --> 01:02:05.880
So there is definitely that feeling of like, Oh, they get to go on vacations

933
01:02:05.880 --> 01:02:08.800
or they get to do this or that, but we can't afford it.

934
01:02:10.880 --> 01:02:11.520
Okay.

935
01:02:11.840 --> 01:02:16.040
So did you hear your parents say a lot of stuff like that growing up as well?

936
01:02:16.720 --> 01:02:17.120
Okay.

937
01:02:17.720 --> 01:02:18.000
Yeah.

938
01:02:18.040 --> 01:02:22.960
So the reason I am asking you that is as you were talking about watching him

939
01:02:22.960 --> 01:02:26.320
answer things for other people and not for me, I feel like this

940
01:02:26.320 --> 01:02:28.240
is an inherited belief system.

941
01:02:30.280 --> 01:02:32.400
You know, we talk about inherited trauma.

942
01:02:32.720 --> 01:02:36.520
There can also be inherited belief systems and limiting mindsets.

943
01:02:37.000 --> 01:02:41.000
Um, I, I don't know if it's your mom or your dad, but I feel like somebody,

944
01:02:41.040 --> 01:02:45.040
one of your parents was saying these kinds of things as you were growing up.

945
01:02:45.600 --> 01:02:49.600
Um, and even if they weren't saying them, that's how kind of their heart posture,

946
01:02:49.600 --> 01:02:53.080
that's how they were living things out, kind of believing that God was giving

947
01:02:53.080 --> 01:02:54.680
other people things and not them.

948
01:02:55.240 --> 01:02:56.440
Um, and so.

949
01:02:57.280 --> 01:03:01.080
I think that's part of why that this has been a struggle for you, because

950
01:03:01.080 --> 01:03:02.520
this isn't just your own struggle.

951
01:03:02.520 --> 01:03:06.720
It's the generational kind of weight and, and this isn't forever.

952
01:03:06.840 --> 01:03:09.800
So I want to give you hope because I've broken through a lot of family

953
01:03:09.800 --> 01:03:12.080
generational stuff in my life already.

954
01:03:12.600 --> 01:03:15.200
Um, and so I know it's possible for you too.

955
01:03:15.520 --> 01:03:20.120
Um, but we do have to make a choice to come out of alignment with those lies

956
01:03:20.120 --> 01:03:24.680
and say, okay, I'm not going to believe this anymore because God is a good father.

957
01:03:25.400 --> 01:03:29.720
And he's not, he's not, um, dangling a carrot and saying, okay, you can have

958
01:03:29.720 --> 01:03:33.280
this and then, nope, you can never have it, but see if we believe that in our

959
01:03:33.280 --> 01:03:38.600
heart and we partner with that kind of stuff, then that actually creates distance

960
01:03:38.600 --> 01:03:40.920
between us and the promise being fulfilled.

961
01:03:41.640 --> 01:03:47.400
Remember when I started out tonight that we prayed for the capacity to forgive.

962
01:03:48.240 --> 01:03:52.880
We, we talked last night about the capacity to perceive a thing with our

963
01:03:52.880 --> 01:03:57.680
perceiver before we can actually receive it by faith.

964
01:03:58.480 --> 01:03:59.000
Okay.

965
01:03:59.760 --> 01:04:05.960
So that's asking God to give us his eyes to see before, so that we can start to

966
01:04:05.960 --> 01:04:08.120
believe it and come into agreement with it.

967
01:04:08.120 --> 01:04:08.480
Right.

968
01:04:08.480 --> 01:04:12.080
But sometimes we have to unpack the lies first.

969
01:04:13.640 --> 01:04:17.880
And so you spending some time and really asking the Lord, when's the first time I

970
01:04:17.880 --> 01:04:23.760
felt like you answered someone else's prayers and not mine and Lord, you know,

971
01:04:23.800 --> 01:04:28.840
were there times and you don't necessarily have to ask your parents, but ask the Lord

972
01:04:28.840 --> 01:04:35.120
were there times that my parents felt that way and because of what they were going

973
01:04:35.160 --> 01:04:40.920
through, I heard or experienced that lie and that belief, you know, in my life

974
01:04:40.920 --> 01:04:43.040
because of what they were going through.

975
01:04:43.040 --> 01:04:45.200
And let's just see what the Lord starts to show you.

976
01:04:45.640 --> 01:04:49.040
Cause I think it's going to start to come undone in a good way.

977
01:04:49.560 --> 01:04:53.000
Um, you know, one of the other big things, and I know it's hard.

978
01:04:53.240 --> 01:04:53.520
Okay.

979
01:04:53.520 --> 01:04:59.640
I've been there too, but I'm really going to encourage you to not get caught up in

980
01:04:59.640 --> 01:05:03.520
the lie and the belief that you're not going to be able to receive it.

981
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.720
compare yourself to other people, including your family.

982
01:05:03.720 --> 01:05:07.640
Because while it might look easier for your cousin

983
01:05:07.640 --> 01:05:10.360
and they're 11 years younger and all the things,

984
01:05:10.360 --> 01:05:13.800
every person has their own path and their own journey.

985
01:05:13.800 --> 01:05:17.160
And she has wounds and things she's been through

986
01:05:17.160 --> 01:05:20.300
and you have wounds and things you've been through.

987
01:05:20.300 --> 01:05:23.760
And you may just have believed for a while

988
01:05:23.760 --> 01:05:26.560
you needed to be on, you needed to wait for your BOAS.

989
01:05:26.560 --> 01:05:30.600
Who knows what led you guys both to the places

990
01:05:30.600 --> 01:05:32.840
that you're at in the different timings.

991
01:05:32.840 --> 01:05:36.680
But the reality is, is that at the core,

992
01:05:36.680 --> 01:05:38.280
when we believe those kinds of things,

993
01:05:38.280 --> 01:05:40.240
like, oh, they're younger and they're getting things

994
01:05:40.240 --> 01:05:42.200
faster than I am and I'm not getting blessed

995
01:05:42.200 --> 01:05:45.440
and they're getting blessed and here I am praying for it

996
01:05:45.440 --> 01:05:47.360
and they're getting it.

997
01:05:47.360 --> 01:05:49.520
What's really happening is we believe the lie

998
01:05:49.520 --> 01:05:52.440
that our blessing is being blocked by somebody.

999
01:05:52.440 --> 01:05:54.160
And if we can't put it on a person,

1000
01:05:54.160 --> 01:05:55.280
well, then it's God's fault.

1001
01:05:55.280 --> 01:05:57.140
He's blocking that blessing from me.

1002
01:05:59.200 --> 01:06:02.040
And if that's what we believe, we've gotta get to that core.

1003
01:06:02.040 --> 01:06:04.480
Where did we start believing the lie

1004
01:06:04.480 --> 01:06:09.480
that God who is good is blocking our blessing?

1005
01:06:09.680 --> 01:06:13.360
Versus, well, here's the reality.

1006
01:06:13.360 --> 01:06:15.560
Sometimes, and I'm not saying this is the case for you,

1007
01:06:15.560 --> 01:06:18.440
but I'm just saying it for everybody listening.

1008
01:06:18.440 --> 01:06:22.920
Sometimes we think we're ready for something and we're not.

1009
01:06:22.920 --> 01:06:26.080
And if we got that thing, it could actually destroy us.

1010
01:06:28.000 --> 01:06:32.200
Hence, me getting married at 22 years old.

1011
01:06:32.200 --> 01:06:34.080
Y'all, it was not a good idea.

1012
01:06:35.000 --> 01:06:37.000
It was not a good idea for me.

1013
01:06:37.000 --> 01:06:40.160
I was running away from the pain in my family

1014
01:06:40.160 --> 01:06:42.120
and I got married way too fast.

1015
01:06:42.120 --> 01:06:43.920
And I married someone who was abusive

1016
01:06:43.920 --> 01:06:46.580
and it just made everything worse.

1017
01:06:46.580 --> 01:06:47.680
Now, I'm not saying you're me.

1018
01:06:47.680 --> 01:06:50.280
I'm just saying sometimes we think we're ready

1019
01:06:51.200 --> 01:06:54.120
and God is protecting us.

1020
01:06:54.120 --> 01:06:57.120
I don't know what's caused you to be where you're at,

1021
01:06:57.120 --> 01:06:59.880
but I want you to know God is on your side

1022
01:06:59.880 --> 01:07:02.880
and He's fighting for you and He's believing with you

1023
01:07:02.880 --> 01:07:04.560
and He's walking with you.

1024
01:07:04.560 --> 01:07:06.480
And He wants you to be happy

1025
01:07:06.480 --> 01:07:08.520
and walk into the fullness of His promises

1026
01:07:08.520 --> 01:07:11.320
and plans for you more than you even want to.

1027
01:07:11.320 --> 01:07:14.320
And I know that might be hard to believe sometimes,

1028
01:07:14.320 --> 01:07:16.280
but I want you to know His grace is sufficient.

1029
01:07:16.280 --> 01:07:18.200
He will help you with the anger too.

1030
01:07:18.200 --> 01:07:20.920
Remember that anger is hurts body guard, okay?

1031
01:07:20.920 --> 01:07:22.960
That's the last thing I wanna kinda touch on

1032
01:07:22.960 --> 01:07:24.520
before I go to Shelly.

1033
01:07:24.520 --> 01:07:26.680
So the anger that you're feeling,

1034
01:07:28.680 --> 01:07:30.080
remember that that's a signal

1035
01:07:30.080 --> 01:07:32.300
that underneath of there is sadness.

1036
01:07:32.300 --> 01:07:35.040
There's probably hurt and pain under there.

1037
01:07:35.040 --> 01:07:37.640
So that's why we wanna get to the root of where this stuff,

1038
01:07:37.640 --> 01:07:40.400
where this belief system started for you, okay?

1039
01:07:42.120 --> 01:07:42.960
Yeah.

1040
01:07:42.960 --> 01:07:43.780
Thank you.

1041
01:07:43.780 --> 01:07:44.620
You're welcome.

1042
01:07:44.620 --> 01:07:45.440
We're praying for you.

1043
01:07:45.440 --> 01:07:46.540
We're cheering you on.

1044
01:07:46.540 --> 01:07:47.960
It's gonna be good.

1045
01:07:48.720 --> 01:07:49.840
I know sometimes it can take time ladies,

1046
01:07:49.840 --> 01:07:52.720
but it really will start to work together

1047
01:07:52.720 --> 01:07:55.080
and you'll start to feel at some point,

1048
01:07:55.080 --> 01:07:58.320
we all hit that point where we start to feel that momentum.

1049
01:07:58.320 --> 01:08:00.920
It's just a different timeframe for everybody,

1050
01:08:00.920 --> 01:08:02.720
but God has something good for you.

1051
01:08:03.760 --> 01:08:05.880
If He did it for me, He can do it for you.

1052
01:08:05.880 --> 01:08:08.000
And He's doing it for all kinds of people in our community.

1053
01:08:08.000 --> 01:08:09.880
So you're next.

1054
01:08:11.240 --> 01:08:12.440
Oh man.

1055
01:08:12.440 --> 01:08:13.760
Shelly, your turn.

1056
01:08:14.760 --> 01:08:16.920
Okay.

1057
01:08:16.920 --> 01:08:20.080
First of all, I am so happy to be back.

1058
01:08:20.080 --> 01:08:21.560
It's nice to hear you again,

1059
01:08:21.560 --> 01:08:24.760
but the timing of this is perfect

1060
01:08:24.760 --> 01:08:29.520
because I need to forgive myself

1061
01:08:30.560 --> 01:08:35.439
and not be hard on myself and give myself grace.

1062
01:08:37.000 --> 01:08:39.000
I started this program last July

1063
01:08:39.000 --> 01:08:41.439
and moved into a new home in September,

1064
01:08:41.439 --> 01:08:42.840
had a lot of things going on.

1065
01:08:42.840 --> 01:08:47.840
And in the front of the hard work book is all the boxes,

1066
01:08:48.000 --> 01:08:50.640
things to keep, junk, all that good stuff.

1067
01:08:50.640 --> 01:08:53.120
Well, I was married for 25 years

1068
01:08:53.120 --> 01:08:54.640
and we dated for seven years.

1069
01:08:54.640 --> 01:08:59.200
And so it was a big change when we went through the divorce

1070
01:08:59.200 --> 01:09:00.359
and had to get rid of everything.

1071
01:09:00.359 --> 01:09:03.000
I moved into an apartment, never really unpacked my boxes.

1072
01:09:03.000 --> 01:09:06.479
Now I've got this home, still have things in boxes.

1073
01:09:06.479 --> 01:09:08.240
So it's been almost a year

1074
01:09:08.240 --> 01:09:11.760
and I've had a lot of stress at my job

1075
01:09:11.760 --> 01:09:14.680
and looking at my house at where I'm at,

1076
01:09:14.680 --> 01:09:18.399
I don't feel like I'm as far along as what I wanted to be.

1077
01:09:18.399 --> 01:09:21.600
I will say that the heart work program

1078
01:09:21.600 --> 01:09:23.279
has helped me out tremendously.

1079
01:09:23.279 --> 01:09:27.880
I could tell my spirit in my heart, everything,

1080
01:09:27.880 --> 01:09:31.560
my nervous system was doing so much better.

1081
01:09:31.560 --> 01:09:33.439
What brought me back is number one,

1082
01:09:33.439 --> 01:09:36.800
I just knew I needed to come back because I missed y'all

1083
01:09:36.800 --> 01:09:39.399
and also because I felt the stressors.

1084
01:09:39.399 --> 01:09:44.399
You had made a mention about surviving and thriving

1085
01:09:46.359 --> 01:09:48.160
or survivors and thriving.

1086
01:09:48.160 --> 01:09:50.800
And I'm in the survivor stage,

1087
01:09:50.800 --> 01:09:53.040
but I know I've been in the thriving

1088
01:09:53.040 --> 01:09:55.200
and it toggles back and forth.

1089
01:09:55.200 --> 01:09:57.800
But you also mentioned stressors

1090
01:09:57.800 --> 01:09:59.600
and people who are thriving,

1091
01:09:59.600 --> 01:10:01.200
they know how to deal with it.

1092
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.120
to handle those stressors, and I remember telling my friend because, you know, he was like,

1093
01:10:06.240 --> 01:10:09.920
what do you mean you need to work on your heart? You're doing great. I said, no, there was something

1094
01:10:09.920 --> 01:10:15.840
that had occurred, and I could tell that there was a change in my attitude and my heart, and I was

1095
01:10:15.840 --> 01:10:20.880
like, my nervous system, I could feel it out of whack, out of alignment, and so I knew, I was like,

1096
01:10:20.880 --> 01:10:26.560
something's off, and I know the enemy likes to attack as well, especially when things are going

1097
01:10:26.560 --> 01:10:32.240
well, but also when you get all this compiled, kind of like what you were saying, that's when

1098
01:10:32.240 --> 01:10:36.320
he comes, and he'll start putting, you know what, you're never going to take care of this. Look,

1099
01:10:36.320 --> 01:10:40.240
it's been almost a year. You're never going to do it. You're not good enough. You're not,

1100
01:10:41.840 --> 01:10:45.680
it's just the same old, same old for you, Shelly. You know, nothing's ever going to change,

1101
01:10:45.680 --> 01:10:50.640
so when you were saying all this stuff, because you had also mentioned, I wrote down

1102
01:10:51.280 --> 01:10:55.280
about looking under that hood again, like, I need to take another peek,

1103
01:10:57.920 --> 01:11:04.640
so let me see if there's anything else, but anyways, that's why I'm back, because I do,

1104
01:11:04.640 --> 01:11:10.880
I need to kind of get back in that alignment. I kind of feel like a car, you know, it's like

1105
01:11:10.880 --> 01:11:19.200
a realignment, or forgot how I put it, recalibrate, realign something, and so here I am, and I think

1106
01:11:19.200 --> 01:11:24.960
I started this sometime in July, so I have made, today's my first day. I told myself,

1107
01:11:24.960 --> 01:11:31.760
it's like a boot camp. When I first started this, I didn't know how I had to really cut things off,

1108
01:11:31.760 --> 01:11:37.760
and I didn't do it like that, right? Now, I'm devoted, and I said June 1st, which is today,

1109
01:11:38.320 --> 01:11:43.280
and I, well, actually, I started on Saturday, but I'm like, I'm going to just be,

1110
01:11:44.080 --> 01:11:50.560
I know what to expect. I got my book, and then also, I'm going to join Jackie's book club. My

1111
01:11:50.560 --> 01:11:55.520
book finally arrived. That's awesome. Yeah, so I'm going to be doing that. I think she has four

1112
01:11:55.520 --> 01:11:59.520
weeks left, but I wanted to do 30 days, and I'm going to do more, but what I'm saying is that,

1113
01:11:59.520 --> 01:12:03.360
with all of this, I have learned that I just need to forgive myself. I'm doing a great job. I just

1114
01:12:03.360 --> 01:12:10.560
got to keep going, and just get back in the swing of things, so nice to see you. It's nice to see

1115
01:12:10.560 --> 01:12:13.920
you, too. I was looking something up, so I didn't want you to think I wasn't paying attention to

1116
01:12:13.920 --> 01:12:19.200
you. When you guys were in, when you ladies were in the breakout session, as I was praying,

1117
01:12:19.200 --> 01:12:26.400
the word revitalization came up in my spirit, and I haven't said that word in a really long time,

1118
01:12:26.400 --> 01:12:31.920
but it felt very significant when I said it, and as you were talking, I feel like that word is for

1119
01:12:31.920 --> 01:12:37.200
everyone, but I do feel like, Shelly, that word is for you, and I wanted to look up the actual

1120
01:12:37.200 --> 01:12:43.120
definition of it, and so this is what it says. To revitalize means to give new life or vigor to,

1121
01:12:44.160 --> 01:12:50.400
like God wants to give you new life. He wants to kind of that, and even I'm like, what is vigor?

1122
01:12:50.400 --> 01:12:55.200
I got to look that up. You guys might want to look that up, but here are some synonyms. Refresh,

1123
01:12:55.760 --> 01:13:02.160
or excuse me, freshen, recharge, recreate, refresh, refresh, and regenerate, rejuvenate, renew,

1124
01:13:02.240 --> 01:13:10.880
repair, restore, resuscitate, revive, and revivify. Ladies, this is what it means sometimes to lean

1125
01:13:10.880 --> 01:13:15.360
into something when you hear it, and you start looking a little further into that word.

1126
01:13:15.360 --> 01:13:20.560
So often, we just, we hear the negative, and we, again, no shame in this. I do it too.

1127
01:13:21.600 --> 01:13:26.320
I catch myself still doing this stuff, and we go all the way down the road with the enemy,

1128
01:13:26.320 --> 01:13:30.560
but we hear a good word from the Lord, and we're like, Oh, what does that mean? I don't know,

1129
01:13:30.560 --> 01:13:35.840
and we just keep going, but like, no, let's pause and look at like, okay, what is revitalized? Well,

1130
01:13:35.840 --> 01:13:40.480
what is vigor? Oh, wait, what are synonyms? And what does that say to your spirit? Like,

1131
01:13:40.480 --> 01:13:47.440
what is God saying to you about how he wants to resuscitate something that you thought was dead?

1132
01:13:48.160 --> 01:13:55.040
Yes. So Shelly, I totally think you can do this, and remember, you know, and I'm going to speak

1133
01:13:55.040 --> 01:14:00.800
to myself too. You know, how do we eat an elephant one bite at a time? How do we unpack

1134
01:14:00.800 --> 01:14:06.160
our boxes? I've moved so many times in my life, so I feel you. Like, sometimes you just like,

1135
01:14:06.160 --> 01:14:10.720
you move, and you're just like, man, I just don't want to deal with those boxes, so I'm just going

1136
01:14:10.720 --> 01:14:17.440
to put them over there, at least for me. Right now too, we have a lot of boxes in our house still

1137
01:14:17.440 --> 01:14:22.400
because our church is under renovation, and we don't have storage for my husband's office stuff,

1138
01:14:22.400 --> 01:14:28.240
so we do have boxes still. But like, well, I'll just push those over by the wall, you know,

1139
01:14:28.240 --> 01:14:33.360
and they're on the outskirts, if you will, where we can have them right now. I just don't want to

1140
01:14:33.360 --> 01:14:40.400
think about those. But then what happens is you eventually start getting more boxes. Again,

1141
01:14:40.400 --> 01:14:45.120
if you're like me, you guys, stuff builds up so fast, doesn't it? And then before you know it

1142
01:14:45.120 --> 01:14:50.720
two years in, and you're like, what, where are all these boxes coming from? Stuff's creeping in

1143
01:14:50.720 --> 01:14:56.480
further, and so we got to declutter. We got to let God help us clear some stuff out. How do we

1144
01:14:56.480 --> 01:14:59.840
make room for the new ladies? Well, we got to move.

1145
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.360
out some stuff that doesn't belong. That's where forgiveness

1146
01:15:03.360 --> 01:15:06.480
and all this stuff is, is going to come into play. So Shelly, I

1147
01:15:06.480 --> 01:15:11.720
love that you recognize, like, oh, man, that happened in my

1148
01:15:11.720 --> 01:15:16.440
heart feels different, not in a good way. So I want to lean into

1149
01:15:16.480 --> 01:15:20.720
healing and reconnecting with the Lord. So welcome back. It's

1150
01:15:20.720 --> 01:15:24.400
great to see you. Yes. I'm excited to hear about your move

1151
01:15:24.400 --> 01:15:28.600
and praying for all the things that work and that God would

1152
01:15:28.600 --> 01:15:35.320
help you continue to learn how to navigate the stress in your

1153
01:15:35.320 --> 01:15:39.160
job in a different way in the days ahead. Again, I mean, there

1154
01:15:39.160 --> 01:15:42.320
are days that I still like in ministry, it is kind of like,

1155
01:15:42.840 --> 01:15:46.160
oh my gosh, you know, they're just things it's hard. Sometimes

1156
01:15:46.160 --> 01:15:50.760
that's our flesh. And we're even right. God is with you. And

1157
01:15:50.760 --> 01:15:51.400
he's gonna help.

1158
01:15:51.800 --> 01:15:54.560
And one more thing I'm going to add, it won't take long. But

1159
01:15:54.560 --> 01:15:57.160
basically, we're gonna start with forgiveness. I don't know

1160
01:15:57.160 --> 01:16:00.440
when my sessions in for my year thing or whatever. I know I can

1161
01:16:00.440 --> 01:16:05.160
keep going. But if it's four or five weeks, how many weeks is

1162
01:16:05.160 --> 01:16:05.440
it?

1163
01:16:05.680 --> 01:16:11.240
So heartwork is designed to be at least five weeks. So if people

1164
01:16:11.240 --> 01:16:14.240
take longer, that's fine. We really don't encourage people to

1165
01:16:14.240 --> 01:16:18.080
go faster than that. Because you need to give yourself time to

1166
01:16:18.080 --> 01:16:21.840
breathe and process what you're learning, what you're hearing,

1167
01:16:21.840 --> 01:16:25.360
what you're reading, all of the things. And so yeah, we really

1168
01:16:25.360 --> 01:16:27.920
encourage people to take at least five weeks through the

1169
01:16:27.920 --> 01:16:28.520
program.

1170
01:16:28.760 --> 01:16:31.920
I just have a feeling since I'm starting with forgiveness, I

1171
01:16:31.920 --> 01:16:36.760
will go through it. And then also do forgiveness again. And

1172
01:16:36.760 --> 01:16:39.920
then maybe aim with that fifth week. And I think, I think

1173
01:16:39.920 --> 01:16:43.160
that's going to do it. I think it's just a beautiful way that

1174
01:16:43.160 --> 01:16:44.880
it's going to come out. So thanks again.

1175
01:16:44.880 --> 01:16:49.400
Love it. You're welcome. Yeah, great to hear from you. Joy.

1176
01:16:50.040 --> 01:16:51.160
It's your turn.

1177
01:16:52.160 --> 01:16:59.920
Awesome. Hello. Thank you so much. All right. So I was

1178
01:16:59.920 --> 01:17:06.920
sharing with breakout friends. I want to forgive people who

1179
01:17:06.920 --> 01:17:12.520
devalued me, disgraced me and looked down on me. I mean, the

1180
01:17:12.520 --> 01:17:15.840
first one is my, of course, my ex-husband. You know, when I

1181
01:17:15.840 --> 01:17:18.360
thought about people devalued me, looked down on me, I was

1182
01:17:18.800 --> 01:17:23.680
kind of, I still have some anger. I mean, it shows a sign

1183
01:17:23.720 --> 01:17:29.400
I have not totally forgive, maybe have not totally forgiven

1184
01:17:29.480 --> 01:17:36.120
them. But I still have an anger. And so I need to totally root

1185
01:17:36.120 --> 01:17:41.280
out that. Yeah, the root, the root. I need to take out the

1186
01:17:41.280 --> 01:17:46.640
root. Yeah, thank God. But at least I, it's God revealed to

1187
01:17:46.640 --> 01:17:52.800
me. I don't get rid of it. So why cause people devalue me? I

1188
01:17:55.200 --> 01:17:58.600
yeah, I think Satan tried, I mean, tried to destroy my

1189
01:17:58.600 --> 01:18:05.560
self-image. My, my step-up, of course, the first one. And then

1190
01:18:05.600 --> 01:18:11.560
my first marriage, my ex-husband, he had such insecurity

1191
01:18:11.600 --> 01:18:15.280
because I was beautiful, I was young. So he tried to just put

1192
01:18:15.280 --> 01:18:23.920
me down, you know, make me feel less than him. And so yeah, he

1193
01:18:23.920 --> 01:18:28.720
just wanted to make me feel I'm less than him. So he kind of

1194
01:18:28.720 --> 01:18:32.720
condescended. So then I sometimes I condescended to other

1195
01:18:32.720 --> 01:18:42.160
people. I don't know. So anyway, I need to help myself. And

1196
01:18:42.160 --> 01:18:46.800
that's why I told God, my future husband, one of the most

1197
01:18:46.800 --> 01:18:53.600
important thing, the quality, he will love me, value me so much.

1198
01:18:53.640 --> 01:18:56.120
He will adore me and cherish me.

1199
01:18:56.680 --> 01:19:00.400
So yes, he will. Yes, he will, Joy. And one of the things I

1200
01:19:00.400 --> 01:19:03.120
wrote down as you were talking, and ladies, this is for

1201
01:19:03.120 --> 01:19:05.600
everyone. But I do want to say this and remind you, I know,

1202
01:19:05.760 --> 01:19:09.040
you've grown so much joy, even tonight, as I can tell you're

1203
01:19:09.040 --> 01:19:12.480
talking, you have a lot more clarity as you're talking. It's

1204
01:19:12.480 --> 01:19:18.480
not good, you're doing great. And, you know, I wrote down, we

1205
01:19:18.480 --> 01:19:24.600
have to value ourselves first. Ladies, it's so important. And

1206
01:19:24.600 --> 01:19:27.000
I'm not saying it's easy, because, you know, sometimes we

1207
01:19:27.040 --> 01:19:30.320
we think we value ourselves, and then we get into a situation

1208
01:19:30.320 --> 01:19:34.000
with someone, and they say demeaning things or whatever's

1209
01:19:34.000 --> 01:19:38.680
going on there. You know, people might gaslight or abuse through

1210
01:19:38.680 --> 01:19:43.080
their words verbally or whatnot. And that can really wear on

1211
01:19:43.080 --> 01:19:48.000
people, even if they were a very strong, positive person. But I

1212
01:19:48.000 --> 01:19:52.920
think it's really important for us to also really look at, okay,

1213
01:19:52.920 --> 01:19:57.160
where was our heart before we went into that dynamic? You

1214
01:19:57.160 --> 01:19:59.920
know, and, and were we really valuing our

1215
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.240
For me, again, I'm not saying this is for joy or any of you

1216
01:20:03.240 --> 01:20:06.000
all. But just from my perspective, one of the examples

1217
01:20:06.000 --> 01:20:12.800
I can give is that I attracted abusers because I came out of

1218
01:20:12.800 --> 01:20:17.340
abuse in an environment that I was used to is what I ended up

1219
01:20:17.340 --> 01:20:23.080
getting drawn to as a big giver and peacekeeper. And I still am

1220
01:20:23.080 --> 01:20:26.880
a giver and a peacekeeper. But I've learned how to have

1221
01:20:26.880 --> 01:20:31.360
boundaries. Now I've learned how to recognize yellow, orange

1222
01:20:31.360 --> 01:20:36.820
and red flags and not go into relationship with someone that

1223
01:20:36.820 --> 01:20:40.720
had a bunch of red flags were in the past, I just would blow

1224
01:20:40.720 --> 01:20:43.440
past those things back in the day, I didn't even know there

1225
01:20:43.440 --> 01:20:47.280
was a flag system. My husband talks about that, too. You know,

1226
01:20:47.400 --> 01:20:50.600
they just we just didn't have that understanding back then.

1227
01:20:51.560 --> 01:20:56.400
But, you know, really continuing to get to know who you are in

1228
01:20:56.400 --> 01:20:59.440
Christ. Some of you all I really want to, well, all of

1229
01:20:59.440 --> 01:21:03.880
you, I want to encourage you, go and try some new hobbies, go do

1230
01:21:03.880 --> 01:21:08.440
stuff, figure out who you are, what do you like? Because when

1231
01:21:08.440 --> 01:21:12.200
you get into the dating phases, you know, you don't want to just

1232
01:21:12.200 --> 01:21:15.440
morph into everything that other person wants you to be. Yes, you

1233
01:21:15.440 --> 01:21:19.880
start to do things that they enjoy, just to be a blessing to

1234
01:21:19.880 --> 01:21:23.000
them, but you don't want to completely lose yourself. Well,

1235
01:21:23.000 --> 01:21:25.820
a lot of us do that because we don't even know who we are

1236
01:21:25.820 --> 01:21:30.900
before we start dating. Yes, we don't know what we like, we

1237
01:21:30.900 --> 01:21:33.740
don't know the things that we are passionate about. And so I

1238
01:21:33.740 --> 01:21:35.900
want to encourage you to keep getting to know yourselves in

1239
01:21:35.900 --> 01:21:40.100
those ways. Joy, that was really great. Keep forgiving, you know,

1240
01:21:40.100 --> 01:21:44.860
and, um, you know, I think the the way that we know, if we've

1241
01:21:44.860 --> 01:21:47.980
really fully forgiven someone, at least from my perspective,

1242
01:21:48.180 --> 01:21:52.140
like I don't, when I think about what I went through with my ex

1243
01:21:52.140 --> 01:21:55.220
husband, like it still is kind of like, wow, I'm still shocked

1244
01:21:55.220 --> 01:21:58.900
that that's how it went. But I don't feel pain. I don't feel

1245
01:21:58.900 --> 01:22:05.180
anger towards him. I don't like it's just a fact now. It's just

1246
01:22:05.180 --> 01:22:08.780
like a fact of what happened. And so if some of you're like, I

1247
01:22:08.780 --> 01:22:11.620
don't know if I fully forgiven. Well, if you're questioning that

1248
01:22:11.620 --> 01:22:13.980
you probably there's probably still some more forgiveness

1249
01:22:13.980 --> 01:22:18.420
there that needs to be done. I know 100% of fully forgiven my

1250
01:22:18.420 --> 01:22:23.540
ex husband. And even with the girl's dad, you know, I was in a

1251
01:22:23.540 --> 01:22:26.260
cycle with their dad for a while, because every time he

1252
01:22:26.260 --> 01:22:29.460
would do something that would hurt them, then I would kind of

1253
01:22:29.460 --> 01:22:32.100
have to go back through that whole cycle to forgive him

1254
01:22:32.100 --> 01:22:37.500
again, because of what they were going through. And I'm not

1255
01:22:37.500 --> 01:22:40.180
saying I don't ever have to do that anymore. But I will tell

1256
01:22:40.180 --> 01:22:46.340
you that the more healed I become, and the less enmeshed I

1257
01:22:46.340 --> 01:22:50.180
am, like I love my daughters, but I'm not totally enmeshed in

1258
01:22:50.180 --> 01:22:54.780
everything anymore. And so I don't feel the depth of their

1259
01:22:54.780 --> 01:22:58.860
pain. Like I feel for them, I have compassion for them. I

1260
01:22:58.860 --> 01:23:02.340
don't like what they're going through. But it doesn't affect

1261
01:23:02.340 --> 01:23:04.940
me the same way because I'm not all caught up in the drama

1262
01:23:04.940 --> 01:23:10.020
anymore. Does that make sense? Everyone? Yeah. So some of you

1263
01:23:10.020 --> 01:23:15.140
all need to continue to become less enmeshed in the toxicity

1264
01:23:15.140 --> 01:23:19.500
and the relationships around you. Okay. Now, if they're young

1265
01:23:19.500 --> 01:23:22.900
little kids, now my girls are grown. Okay. So that changes

1266
01:23:22.900 --> 01:23:26.500
the dynamic to my girls don't tell me every single thing bad

1267
01:23:26.500 --> 01:23:28.940
that their dad does anymore. Back in the day they did.

1268
01:23:29.740 --> 01:23:31.620
Because they've been getting counseling too. And so they're

1269
01:23:31.620 --> 01:23:38.260
trying to not like, put all that on me anymore. Now, if they're

1270
01:23:38.260 --> 01:23:40.420
younger kids, you know, obviously, it's a whole

1271
01:23:40.420 --> 01:23:44.340
different story. So great share. Nat, I would love to hear what

1272
01:23:44.340 --> 01:23:45.180
you have to say.

1273
01:23:46.180 --> 01:23:55.020
Hello. Hello. Yeah, so when I joined the group, today, we were

1274
01:23:55.020 --> 01:23:58.980
talking about forgiveness. And I was thinking about, okay, do I

1275
01:23:58.980 --> 01:24:01.940
still have to get forgive someone and I have gone through,

1276
01:24:02.420 --> 01:24:05.460
like years before through this whole, like, I've been to

1277
01:24:05.460 --> 01:24:08.260
celebrate recovery. I don't know if you're familiar with it. And

1278
01:24:08.420 --> 01:24:16.740
I am. Yeah. Yeah. But, um, I've noticed that, like, what I want

1279
01:24:16.740 --> 01:24:20.420
to share here, maybe you can speak into it. What I noticed,

1280
01:24:20.460 --> 01:24:24.380
but like, bothers me in Christian circles, is when

1281
01:24:24.380 --> 01:24:28.380
people talk about forgiveness, it feels so focused on the end

1282
01:24:28.380 --> 01:24:31.220
results. Oh, you just have to give you just have to forgive

1283
01:24:31.900 --> 01:24:35.220
that it feels like the whole experience that you went

1284
01:24:35.220 --> 01:24:37.500
through, especially if it's something heavy, it just doesn't

1285
01:24:37.500 --> 01:24:42.580
feel validated. And then you focus so much on like, Oh, yeah,

1286
01:24:42.580 --> 01:24:45.380
I have to forgive this person, which you actually don't really

1287
01:24:45.380 --> 01:24:49.260
understand what that means, and how it should feel or not feel.

1288
01:24:49.260 --> 01:24:51.860
And then there are different views on that some people say,

1289
01:24:52.140 --> 01:24:55.260
well, it's not about feeling it's about decision, and then

1290
01:24:55.260 --> 01:24:59.740
you just keep forgiving and, and if it's something really heavy

1291
01:24:59.740 --> 01:24:59.900
that

1292
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:07.120
had to forgive, I think, I don't know, I sometimes think, like, do you like, talk yourself into

1293
01:25:07.120 --> 01:25:11.200
forgiving, and then you think you've forgiven? And I know you kind of answered part of the

1294
01:25:11.200 --> 01:25:15.200
question, like when you know that you've forgiven, but I think there are also different situations

1295
01:25:15.200 --> 01:25:19.760
that arise in life, right, different milestones that can trigger these things and feelings.

1296
01:25:19.760 --> 01:25:24.400
And the fact that like, you're the one who has to live with consequences and the mourning of

1297
01:25:24.400 --> 01:25:32.000
the person that you are not because of what had happened to you, right? And, and maybe the choices

1298
01:25:32.000 --> 01:25:37.520
you've been making because of how the situation has impacted you, and so on, so on. So I just,

1299
01:25:37.520 --> 01:25:43.040
like, for people who, like, say, just became believers, which I'm not a new believer, but,

1300
01:25:43.040 --> 01:25:49.600
like, just became believers, and they encountered this forgive and let go concept, like,

1301
01:25:49.600 --> 01:25:55.920
how would you, you know, is there a way to go about it that validates what the person has gone

1302
01:25:55.920 --> 01:26:01.200
through? And I'm not talking about victim mentality, or for a person just to stay in that place of

1303
01:26:01.200 --> 01:26:06.720
trauma. But I just feel like, sometimes when people hear something heavy as Christians,

1304
01:26:06.720 --> 01:26:12.000
and they're just like, oh, you just have to forgive. It's like, it's, it's, it's really

1305
01:26:12.000 --> 01:26:16.320
like, it feels like that person has never gone through anything difficult in their life, and that

1306
01:26:16.320 --> 01:26:22.640
they kind of have zero compassion on what the person has gone through. So this is kind of what's,

1307
01:26:22.640 --> 01:26:27.440
like, when I feel, hear about forgiveness, and I'm like, okay, Lord, do I still have to forgive?

1308
01:26:27.440 --> 01:26:32.720
Is there, like, but how, like, how do I even know that I have fully forgiven? And there is so much

1309
01:26:32.720 --> 01:26:37.840
about, like, forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive, like, so much focus on this end point. But how

1310
01:26:37.840 --> 01:26:44.240
does actually the process look like? Well, number one, I will say, part of the whole thing in our

1311
01:26:44.240 --> 01:26:50.320
community, that's why we take you guys through week one, which is surrender. Week two is focusing

1312
01:26:50.320 --> 01:26:54.880
on the brokenness in your heart. And what, you know, all the different aspects of brokenness

1313
01:26:54.880 --> 01:26:59.200
and what that creates. And then week three, we're talking to you all about repentance,

1314
01:26:59.200 --> 01:27:04.800
and confession and that revealing for healing cycle. Why are we doing that? Why is it layered

1315
01:27:04.800 --> 01:27:10.720
that way? Well, because you like, it's important to go through all of those aspects of your heart

1316
01:27:10.720 --> 01:27:16.720
in the process of what you've been through. And then we take you to week four, which is forgiveness.

1317
01:27:16.720 --> 01:27:21.280
Now, tonight, you're just hearing me talk about week four, and forgiveness, that it is a choice,

1318
01:27:21.280 --> 01:27:27.920
because that's what Scripture actually says. Now, am I saying you have no emotion to process? No.

1319
01:27:27.920 --> 01:27:34.640
Guess what? We've given you the forgiveness prayer sheet to help you actually process what you are

1320
01:27:34.640 --> 01:27:39.760
forgiving. Why? How do you feel about that forgiveness? You can write anything you want

1321
01:27:39.760 --> 01:27:47.280
on that sheet. We're not saying don't feel anything. We're saying feel the feels. This is a

1322
01:27:47.280 --> 01:27:52.960
core thing that we say in our community. Feel the feels so that God can heal the feels. Well, part of

1323
01:27:53.920 --> 01:27:58.880
forgiving from my perspective, it is just making the choice because so many people will say they

1324
01:27:58.880 --> 01:28:06.960
can't forgive. It's impossible to forgive. And the reason I can even be here tonight and say

1325
01:28:06.960 --> 01:28:12.480
it's not impossible is because I've had horrible things done to me in my life, and I've learned

1326
01:28:13.040 --> 01:28:20.000
how to forgive. And it did start primarily with making a choice. Now, were my feelings always

1327
01:28:20.000 --> 01:28:27.680
caught up to that choice? No. I had to learn how to continue to process the feelings, the emotions,

1328
01:28:27.680 --> 01:28:32.800
and as you stated, you know, some of the consequences of what other people had done,

1329
01:28:32.800 --> 01:28:38.000
as well as the bad choices I made that brought consequences that weren't good into my life.

1330
01:28:38.000 --> 01:28:45.840
And so even having to forgive myself, of course, there was layers to the releasing the shame and

1331
01:28:45.840 --> 01:28:52.240
the guilt and condemnation that I felt for some of those things. I had a, you know, a church that

1332
01:28:52.240 --> 01:28:57.360
I loved and I thought they were my family that when I hadn't even filed for divorce yet, I just

1333
01:28:57.360 --> 01:29:04.400
separated from my ex-husband, and they literally removed me as a teacher from the children's church

1334
01:29:04.400 --> 01:29:10.720
area. Something that I loved doing. I hadn't even filed for divorce yet. All I did was move out of

1335
01:29:10.720 --> 01:29:17.760
the house. Of course that was painful. I had to process that. So I don't know if that answers

1336
01:29:17.760 --> 01:29:22.720
your question, but we're never gonna, we're never just saying, oh, just you just do it and you just

1337
01:29:22.720 --> 01:29:28.320
should not feel anything. That's never going to happen. You're going to feel things.

1338
01:29:28.320 --> 01:29:32.480
We're saying that it does come down to what is in our hearts though,

1339
01:29:34.560 --> 01:29:40.720
and making the choice is kind of like that first step. And maybe that's why, you know, there are

1340
01:29:40.720 --> 01:29:45.200
like a lot of Christians that that is kind of what we say and what we focus on. But again, it's

1341
01:29:45.200 --> 01:29:51.280
because that is what the word says. Jesus Christ forgave us. He died and shed his blood on the

1342
01:29:51.280 --> 01:29:59.760
cross for me and for you. And then he asked us to do the same for other people.

1343
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.000
And so that same grace and forgiveness that we receive,

1344
01:30:03.000 --> 01:30:06.000
that we can choose to extend that to someone else,

1345
01:30:06.000 --> 01:30:08.480
that's why it's a choice.

1346
01:30:08.480 --> 01:30:11.200
It's a partnering with what's already been done for us.

1347
01:30:11.200 --> 01:30:16.200
It's not something independent of what Jesus did.

1348
01:30:16.240 --> 01:30:18.680
It's in partnership with that.

1349
01:30:18.680 --> 01:30:21.880
We receive and then we can give.

1350
01:30:21.880 --> 01:30:24.400
And sometimes that's gonna feel really hard.

1351
01:30:24.400 --> 01:30:25.880
It is.

1352
01:30:25.880 --> 01:30:28.360
Sometimes it's gonna feel impossible.

1353
01:30:28.400 --> 01:30:31.040
But that is, if we partner with that,

1354
01:30:32.200 --> 01:30:35.200
well, that's us partnering with the lie of the enemy.

1355
01:30:36.560 --> 01:30:39.680
And that's not us trying to create shame for anyone.

1356
01:30:39.680 --> 01:30:41.280
That's just truth.

1357
01:30:42.360 --> 01:30:43.960
One of the things I wanna encourage you now

1358
01:30:43.960 --> 01:30:45.160
as you're processing this,

1359
01:30:45.160 --> 01:30:47.000
and I think this is a great question.

1360
01:30:48.680 --> 01:30:51.400
If there are unbelievers that become new believers

1361
01:30:51.400 --> 01:30:52.880
and that's hard for them,

1362
01:30:52.880 --> 01:30:55.600
I think what's really great about having community

1363
01:30:55.600 --> 01:30:59.520
is like for me, I had people that walked alongside of me

1364
01:30:59.520 --> 01:31:01.480
to help me learn how to forgive.

1365
01:31:01.480 --> 01:31:05.400
That's why discipleship matters in churches and communities.

1366
01:31:05.400 --> 01:31:07.760
That's what a lot of churches,

1367
01:31:07.760 --> 01:31:09.440
not saying every church does it,

1368
01:31:09.440 --> 01:31:12.440
but that's part of becoming a disciple,

1369
01:31:12.440 --> 01:31:13.800
becoming a Christ follower

1370
01:31:13.800 --> 01:31:16.760
is you have other people teaching you

1371
01:31:16.760 --> 01:31:19.280
how to walk this stuff out, not just make a decision

1372
01:31:19.280 --> 01:31:21.840
and boom, you gotta figure it out on your own.

1373
01:31:21.840 --> 01:31:25.520
And so I wanna encourage you as you're praying into this,

1374
01:31:26.280 --> 01:31:28.440
you said, it feels like when people are just saying this,

1375
01:31:28.440 --> 01:31:29.840
they're just saying, you should just forgive,

1376
01:31:29.840 --> 01:31:30.720
you should just forgive.

1377
01:31:30.720 --> 01:31:32.120
You said, it feels like that person

1378
01:31:32.120 --> 01:31:34.320
hasn't gone through anything

1379
01:31:34.320 --> 01:31:37.640
and they have no compassion for anybody else.

1380
01:31:37.640 --> 01:31:39.040
And I wanna encourage you to look at

1381
01:31:39.040 --> 01:31:41.080
where that's come from in your own heart.

1382
01:31:42.040 --> 01:31:44.360
So I don't know if it felt like that for you

1383
01:31:44.360 --> 01:31:45.880
way back in the beginning.

1384
01:31:45.880 --> 01:31:48.120
I don't know if that is just the enemies

1385
01:31:48.120 --> 01:31:49.120
trying to convince you

1386
01:31:49.120 --> 01:31:52.000
that those people don't have compassion

1387
01:31:52.000 --> 01:31:53.400
because a lot of times,

1388
01:31:53.400 --> 01:31:56.600
the enemy will try to bring a critical spirit into us,

1389
01:31:56.600 --> 01:31:59.600
like he'll try to get us to take what he's feeding

1390
01:31:59.600 --> 01:32:01.880
and trying to bite off of that stuff

1391
01:32:01.880 --> 01:32:03.680
and we become critical,

1392
01:32:03.680 --> 01:32:06.320
but even to be able to do that,

1393
01:32:06.320 --> 01:32:10.800
for us to partner with a critical spirit in any way,

1394
01:32:10.800 --> 01:32:14.640
typically we have pain underneath the surface,

1395
01:32:14.640 --> 01:32:17.960
something that where we got hurt

1396
01:32:17.960 --> 01:32:19.280
and we need to forgive

1397
01:32:19.280 --> 01:32:23.880
or we need to experience God's grace wash over us

1398
01:32:23.880 --> 01:32:25.320
in a fresh way in that area

1399
01:32:25.320 --> 01:32:30.320
so that we don't have to continue looking at that person

1400
01:32:30.600 --> 01:32:32.000
or that situation that way.

1401
01:32:32.000 --> 01:32:34.480
Now, if it's someone that's been in authority and leadership

1402
01:32:34.480 --> 01:32:37.520
and they mishandled their authority and their leadership,

1403
01:32:37.520 --> 01:32:40.080
I'm not saying all Christians do it well.

1404
01:32:40.920 --> 01:32:42.960
I'm not even saying I do it perfectly.

1405
01:32:42.960 --> 01:32:46.160
Y'all, I coach every week, every single week,

1406
01:32:46.200 --> 01:32:50.160
for me to say I have never said anything wrong,

1407
01:32:50.160 --> 01:32:53.040
I don't know, I don't even think I can make that claim.

1408
01:32:54.520 --> 01:32:57.600
You know, we show up and we do the best that we can do

1409
01:32:57.600 --> 01:33:00.120
to be a vessel for God to work through

1410
01:33:00.120 --> 01:33:02.680
and I hope and I pray that everything that I've ever said,

1411
01:33:02.680 --> 01:33:04.720
that it will lead people closer to Christ,

1412
01:33:04.720 --> 01:33:07.240
closer to his healing, closer to his love,

1413
01:33:07.240 --> 01:33:12.240
but if it hasn't, I trust that God can cover those things.

1414
01:33:13.080 --> 01:33:15.680
There are gonna be imperfect leaders, 100%,

1415
01:33:15.680 --> 01:33:18.040
imperfect Christians, we're all imperfect,

1416
01:33:18.040 --> 01:33:20.120
but if we can believe the best in other people

1417
01:33:20.120 --> 01:33:22.240
instead of the worst in them,

1418
01:33:22.240 --> 01:33:24.640
man, that changes the whole dialogue, doesn't it?

1419
01:33:28.760 --> 01:33:30.320
So I wanna encourage you to really look at

1420
01:33:30.320 --> 01:33:32.600
where did that kind of start for you

1421
01:33:32.600 --> 01:33:35.560
to believe that these people don't have compassion

1422
01:33:35.560 --> 01:33:37.320
because they're saying this.

1423
01:33:37.320 --> 01:33:39.680
So I don't know if that came out of maybe

1424
01:33:40.040 --> 01:33:42.880
if you felt that you didn't have community.

1425
01:33:42.880 --> 01:33:43.960
This is a great question,

1426
01:33:43.960 --> 01:33:45.720
I really want you to hear me say that to you.

1427
01:33:45.720 --> 01:33:47.720
I'm so glad that you asked it

1428
01:33:47.720 --> 01:33:49.320
because I think there are a lot of people

1429
01:33:49.320 --> 01:33:52.120
that feel this way and they didn't really know

1430
01:33:52.120 --> 01:33:55.880
how to express it or what God really designed

1431
01:33:55.880 --> 01:33:58.320
for the church to be.

1432
01:33:58.320 --> 01:34:00.520
The body of Christ is meant to,

1433
01:34:00.520 --> 01:34:03.840
when someone is weak, to lift up their weak and feeble knees

1434
01:34:03.840 --> 01:34:06.080
but the people have to be willing

1435
01:34:06.080 --> 01:34:07.760
to let the church help them do that.

1436
01:34:08.000 --> 01:34:11.320
We are the church, we, people, right?

1437
01:34:12.320 --> 01:34:14.560
And so sometimes when we don't have community

1438
01:34:14.560 --> 01:34:16.800
and we're alone, when we're trying to go through something

1439
01:34:16.800 --> 01:34:20.360
and we, like I can remember the last thing I'll share

1440
01:34:20.360 --> 01:34:22.320
and I hope this is helpful, Nat.

1441
01:34:23.720 --> 01:34:27.280
I can remember my, the pastor where I really grew up

1442
01:34:27.280 --> 01:34:29.240
in my faith a lot.

1443
01:34:29.240 --> 01:34:32.600
There's one time my ex-husband and I went up for prayer

1444
01:34:32.600 --> 01:34:36.040
and I was crying at the altar

1445
01:34:37.000 --> 01:34:39.120
and my ex-husband wasn't.

1446
01:34:39.120 --> 01:34:42.920
And I remember my pastor said, you're too sensitive.

1447
01:34:42.920 --> 01:34:45.760
And he said to my ex-husband, you're not sensitive enough.

1448
01:34:45.760 --> 01:34:47.200
And I just remember this,

1449
01:34:47.200 --> 01:34:49.720
it just felt like an indictment on me

1450
01:34:49.720 --> 01:34:51.240
and it really wounded me

1451
01:34:52.240 --> 01:34:54.240
because I wasn't trying to be too sensitive.

1452
01:34:54.240 --> 01:34:58.560
And the reality is, is the wound of what he said,

1453
01:34:58.560 --> 01:35:00.720
it wasn't just what he said in that moment.

1454
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:06.960
moment it went into things that my family had said to me growing up. I never felt safe to express my

1455
01:35:06.960 --> 01:35:12.160
emotion and my pain in the house that I grew up in. And so it wasn't just what he said in that

1456
01:35:12.160 --> 01:35:19.760
moment, I had to look at what it was linking to in my life as well and forgiving him because he's

1457
01:35:19.760 --> 01:35:27.120
imperfect too. I don't think he intended it to hit my heart the way it did, but the reality is that

1458
01:35:27.120 --> 01:35:31.840
is how it hit my heart. And in that moment, I didn't feel like I could trust him anymore.

1459
01:35:33.440 --> 01:35:38.880
Right? That's what happens. But what I could do is I could learn to forgive him.

1460
01:35:39.840 --> 01:35:45.200
But that is still to this day, one of the things that stands out from being in that church dynamic,

1461
01:35:45.200 --> 01:35:50.240
that there were several times where that kind of stuff happened. Do I think that he was a bad

1462
01:35:50.240 --> 01:35:55.360
leader? No, I absolutely do not. I think he was a great leader. I think he was a great pastor.

1463
01:35:55.360 --> 01:36:00.080
But I think that that was an area that maybe he just wasn't aware of how some things would land

1464
01:36:00.080 --> 01:36:05.680
with certain people. But I also had to be willing to look at what was going on in the inside of me,

1465
01:36:05.680 --> 01:36:11.760
just like what I read in the book. It's, you know, how we show up is how we're going to

1466
01:36:11.760 --> 01:36:18.160
interpret things. What's on inside of us. That's what caused me to receive the thing that he said

1467
01:36:18.160 --> 01:36:24.240
to me. Now he could have said it differently. I really believe that. But even if he hadn't,

1468
01:36:24.240 --> 01:36:29.360
if I was more healed on the inside, it might not have wounded me deeply the way that it did.

1469
01:36:30.240 --> 01:36:36.080
Does that make sense, everyone? I know that was a long answer, but I hope again that it was helpful.

1470
01:36:37.360 --> 01:36:42.400
Community is going to be really important to anyone's healing process. And so after you finish

1471
01:36:42.400 --> 01:36:49.280
week four, ladies, then we take you to week five, the real you, and we try to help you all learn how

1472
01:36:49.280 --> 01:36:55.040
to walk in the fullness of who God originally created you to be. And some of you are going to,

1473
01:36:55.040 --> 01:36:59.120
you know, really be able to receive that while you're here in the heartwork. You know, some of

1474
01:36:59.120 --> 01:37:03.280
you will go on from the heartwork and some of the stuff that we've been teaching here will start to

1475
01:37:03.280 --> 01:37:09.120
make more sense even months from now. You know, so give yourselves a lot of grace. Again, Nat,

1476
01:37:09.120 --> 01:37:13.360
thank you for asking that question. I don't know if you can tell, I like talking about this kind of

1477
01:37:13.360 --> 01:37:21.680
stuff. I want people to feel safe. I want people to feel loved and supported no matter what the

1478
01:37:21.680 --> 01:37:30.480
question is. And to know that I do see even myself as a leader times where I could have done

1479
01:37:31.040 --> 01:37:37.360
or said something differently, you know, and so I want to extend that same grace to other leaders

1480
01:37:38.320 --> 01:37:43.920
because I don't want to get to heaven and have judged people very harshly and wanted grace for

1481
01:37:43.920 --> 01:37:49.680
myself and get to heaven and have to answer for my harsh criticism of other people, you know,

1482
01:37:50.320 --> 01:37:55.040
and so I'm not saying that you are being harsh with anyone, but that's just coming up in my

1483
01:37:55.040 --> 01:37:59.600
spirit too as I'm talking this out with y'all. But I love you, ladies. It was great to be back

1484
01:37:59.600 --> 01:38:04.560
with y'all again tonight. We're at 938, so I'm going to close this out. Good things are happening.

1485
01:38:04.560 --> 01:38:09.120
I'm seeing so much breakthrough in the group, so I'm praying for you all. Let me pray and close us.

1486
01:38:09.120 --> 01:38:13.200
Father, thank you so much for this night. Thank you, God, for your truth. Thank you for your hope

1487
01:38:13.200 --> 01:38:18.640
in your life. God, I thank you for supernatural breakthroughs continuing to happen in all of

1488
01:38:18.640 --> 01:38:23.360
these ladies' hearts, their lives, their minds, their spirits. God, we thank you for revelation

1489
01:38:23.360 --> 01:38:27.600
and insight. God, we thank you that you would just help them to, as they read your word,

1490
01:38:27.600 --> 01:38:32.240
let it come alive in them. God, give them a hunger and thirst for your righteousness, for your truth,

1491
01:38:32.240 --> 01:38:37.760
for your love. Help them to see themselves more clearly through your eyes every single day.

1492
01:38:37.760 --> 01:38:43.280
Yes, Lord, remove any scales from their eyes, like even in the story of Paul, just

1493
01:38:43.280 --> 01:38:47.600
how there were scales and then they were removed. And God, in that time, he saw you so clearly.

1494
01:38:47.600 --> 01:38:51.120
So God, I thank you that you would help them to see you more clearly, that they would

1495
01:38:51.120 --> 01:38:55.360
grow in the knowledge of your character, that you are a good father who gives good gifts to

1496
01:38:55.360 --> 01:39:01.360
your children. In Jesus' name, amen. God bless you all. Have a good night, everyone. Bye-bye.

1497
01:39:02.800 --> 01:39:03.680
Bye. Have a good