WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:06.320 We're recording for everyone who is going to watch and replay. 2 00:00:06.320 --> 00:00:08.039 Hello, all replay watchers. 3 00:00:08.039 --> 00:00:11.600 We are recording now, and we're going to get started in just a second. 4 00:00:11.600 --> 00:00:13.000 Baton Rouge is here. 5 00:00:15.400 --> 00:00:19.520 California, got that West Coast, highly represented here. 6 00:00:19.520 --> 00:00:24.200 Lots of Cali in the house, lots of Canada here as well. 7 00:00:24.440 --> 00:00:29.440 Do we have anyone else that's from a different country besides the states in Canada? 8 00:00:29.760 --> 00:00:30.920 America and Canada. 9 00:00:30.920 --> 00:00:32.600 Do we have any other? 10 00:00:32.800 --> 00:00:34.120 We got Mexico here. 11 00:00:34.400 --> 00:00:35.720 Thank you, Louisa. 12 00:00:36.160 --> 00:00:37.160 Guadalajara. 13 00:00:37.560 --> 00:00:38.760 Oh, Singapore is here. 14 00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:40.080 Singapore is here. 15 00:00:40.080 --> 00:00:41.360 New Zealand is here. 16 00:00:41.680 --> 00:00:42.440 Come on. 17 00:00:42.960 --> 00:00:45.640 My son is on his honeymoon right now. 18 00:00:46.520 --> 00:00:48.760 He got married on Sunday, you guys. 19 00:00:49.480 --> 00:00:51.840 This is our oldest child. 20 00:00:52.280 --> 00:00:53.600 He'll be 31 this year. 21 00:00:53.600 --> 00:00:54.560 He got married. 22 00:00:55.040 --> 00:00:59.280 Um, all my, my daughters are already married and he is on his honeymoon in Fiji. 23 00:00:59.320 --> 00:01:02.080 This is where his bride wanted to go all her life. 24 00:01:02.520 --> 00:01:03.840 She said, I'm going to get married. 25 00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:05.600 I'm going to go to Fiji for my honeymoon. 26 00:01:05.600 --> 00:01:07.200 And they made that dream a reality. 27 00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:09.560 And then they're going to New Zealand. 28 00:01:09.560 --> 00:01:11.200 So that's what reminded me of that. 29 00:01:11.200 --> 00:01:13.280 They're going to New Zealand afterwards. 30 00:01:13.760 --> 00:01:17.160 Um, I guess it's close, maybe a close little flight from Fiji. 31 00:01:17.280 --> 00:01:17.880 I don't know. 32 00:01:17.960 --> 00:01:21.000 I haven't been to Fiji, but I'm excited for them. 33 00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:23.120 They're going to be gone for two solid weeks, you guys. 34 00:01:23.120 --> 00:01:28.200 And then they'll be back to business as usual, business as usual. 35 00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:29.880 Thank you so much. 36 00:01:29.880 --> 00:01:30.720 We're so excited for him. 37 00:01:30.720 --> 00:01:31.960 This is his first girlfriend. 38 00:01:32.280 --> 00:01:33.880 He's never had a girlfriend before. 39 00:01:34.080 --> 00:01:36.800 In fact, he had his very first kiss at his wedding. 40 00:01:37.600 --> 00:01:40.720 He had never kissed her before and he had never kissed anyone before. 41 00:01:40.760 --> 00:01:43.360 This was his first kiss and their first kiss. 42 00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:46.400 And it wasn't as awkward as I expected it to be. 43 00:01:47.880 --> 00:01:49.160 It wasn't awkward at all. 44 00:01:49.160 --> 00:01:50.760 Actually, it was very sweet. 45 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:51.840 It's very sweet. 46 00:01:51.880 --> 00:01:53.360 And we're very excited for him. 47 00:01:53.600 --> 00:01:56.720 Now, am I recommending having your first kiss at your wedding? 48 00:01:56.760 --> 00:01:57.720 No, I'm not. 49 00:01:57.720 --> 00:01:59.000 Recommending that at all. 50 00:01:59.560 --> 00:02:05.400 And if that's something that you feel strongly about, then we'll support you in 51 00:02:05.400 --> 00:02:05.920 that. 52 00:02:06.120 --> 00:02:11.080 But they had really good chemistry, friends, very good, very good physical 53 00:02:11.080 --> 00:02:18.560 chemistry, very good emotional chemistry, very good spiritual chemistry. 54 00:02:18.960 --> 00:02:20.880 They aligned on so many things. 55 00:02:20.880 --> 00:02:22.760 They were definitely very into each other. 56 00:02:22.760 --> 00:02:26.280 So I wasn't worried that when they kissed each other at the wedding, they were 57 00:02:26.280 --> 00:02:27.960 going to give sibling vibes. 58 00:02:28.560 --> 00:02:31.240 I wasn't worried that it was going to turn into a sibling vibe. 59 00:02:32.160 --> 00:02:32.960 I was okay. 60 00:02:33.160 --> 00:02:36.600 I knew it was going to be okay because they were very, very attracted to each 61 00:02:36.600 --> 00:02:44.640 other and have so much attraction in all kinds of different areas, conversational 62 00:02:44.640 --> 00:02:46.080 chemistry, all the things. 63 00:02:46.360 --> 00:02:47.760 And friends, don't read ahead. 64 00:02:47.760 --> 00:02:50.760 In fact, you can't because we have you on a drip. 65 00:02:50.800 --> 00:02:51.760 Is that right, Cheryl? 66 00:02:51.800 --> 00:02:55.120 They haven't, they're getting access to week three today, right? 67 00:02:55.120 --> 00:02:56.320 They haven't had access. 68 00:02:56.320 --> 00:02:56.640 Okay. 69 00:02:57.000 --> 00:02:58.520 That, no, I did not officiate. 70 00:02:58.520 --> 00:03:02.000 I just was the mother of the groom, but I did have a very sweet dance with my son 71 00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:03.600 and both of us cried the whole time. 72 00:03:04.040 --> 00:03:08.640 Him and I just cried on each other the whole dance because I'm so proud of him 73 00:03:09.040 --> 00:03:11.280 and I'm his biggest fan and I love him so much. 74 00:03:11.280 --> 00:03:14.080 And all of you boy moms know what I'm talking about. 75 00:03:14.080 --> 00:03:14.960 It hits different. 76 00:03:15.280 --> 00:03:16.600 I have daughters that got married. 77 00:03:16.600 --> 00:03:17.720 I'm excited for them. 78 00:03:17.720 --> 00:03:19.120 I love them so much. 79 00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:22.480 But when your son gets married, I don't know what it is, but it's a 80 00:03:22.480 --> 00:03:23.680 different, it hits different. 81 00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:31.520 And we, we had a big bawling baby session together and it was great. 82 00:03:32.400 --> 00:03:32.920 All right. 83 00:03:33.240 --> 00:03:33.840 Um, okay. 84 00:03:33.880 --> 00:03:36.000 So you guys don't read ahead, but we're going to talk about 85 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:37.400 chemistry and compatibility. 86 00:03:37.840 --> 00:03:39.600 That's going to be an important part of this book club. 87 00:03:39.840 --> 00:03:40.920 Here's what I want for you. 88 00:03:40.920 --> 00:03:41.800 So let's get started. 89 00:03:42.160 --> 00:03:46.480 So welcome to modern dating sucks book club week two. 90 00:03:46.600 --> 00:03:48.120 I'm your host, Jackie Dorman. 91 00:03:48.120 --> 00:03:50.200 If you're just joining us this week, welcome. 92 00:03:50.440 --> 00:03:53.360 It is okay that you are catching up. 93 00:03:53.920 --> 00:03:54.120 All right. 94 00:03:54.120 --> 00:03:57.080 If you have to watch and replay all the replay watchers, do not worry. 95 00:03:57.080 --> 00:03:58.120 You can catch up. 96 00:03:58.120 --> 00:04:00.040 Just make sure that you're doing your assignments. 97 00:04:00.400 --> 00:04:01.560 Don't skip over the reading. 98 00:04:01.560 --> 00:04:02.880 Make sure you're doing the reading. 99 00:04:02.880 --> 00:04:05.720 You're answering the questions at the end of every chapter. 100 00:04:05.720 --> 00:04:06.760 That's very important. 101 00:04:07.040 --> 00:04:09.880 In fact, I want you to keep a modern dating sucks journal. 102 00:04:10.320 --> 00:04:13.440 I don't have it in here, but there's a workbook that's going to be coming out. 103 00:04:13.480 --> 00:04:15.400 That is a companion book to this book. 104 00:04:15.800 --> 00:04:20.320 And you can order it and you can transfer all of your notes from this book club 105 00:04:20.320 --> 00:04:23.400 into that notebook, into that journal. 106 00:04:23.400 --> 00:04:27.760 And you can keep it and you can refer back to it this summer while you're out 107 00:04:27.760 --> 00:04:29.880 there dating and hopefully mating. 108 00:04:29.880 --> 00:04:33.760 And I don't mean when I say mating, I mean finding love and getting married. 109 00:04:33.800 --> 00:04:34.240 Okay. 110 00:04:35.120 --> 00:04:39.360 Um, so, but make sure that you are answering the recap questions. 111 00:04:39.360 --> 00:04:44.760 The real talk, the real talk is an area where we're just telling you, Hey, the 112 00:04:44.760 --> 00:04:48.600 real talk recap is where I, I, for people that don't have great reading 113 00:04:48.600 --> 00:04:52.760 comprehension, which is a lot of people it's they're like, what did I just read? 114 00:04:53.040 --> 00:04:55.000 I read it, but I don't know what I just read. 115 00:04:55.280 --> 00:04:58.440 It's a synopsis of what you just read, but please don't just read it. 116 00:04:59.400 --> 00:05:00.000 Don't just read. 117 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:01.640 The recap and nothing else. 118 00:05:01.640 --> 00:05:03.720 Read the book, read the book. 119 00:05:03.720 --> 00:05:05.060 It's a very easy read. 120 00:05:05.060 --> 00:05:08.680 I write all of my books at a fifth grade level, 121 00:05:08.680 --> 00:05:10.240 in my opinion. 122 00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:11.880 You don't have to be smarter than a fifth grader 123 00:05:11.880 --> 00:05:12.760 to read my books. 124 00:05:12.760 --> 00:05:13.600 And why? 125 00:05:13.600 --> 00:05:15.560 Because I know a lot of people don't have time to read. 126 00:05:15.560 --> 00:05:18.680 Even if you love to read, you don't have time to read. 127 00:05:18.680 --> 00:05:21.360 So let me know in the comments, are you loving the book? 128 00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:22.240 Are you loving the book? 129 00:05:22.240 --> 00:05:23.640 Is it easy to read? 130 00:05:23.640 --> 00:05:26.720 People are telling me it is the best, most practical, 131 00:05:26.720 --> 00:05:28.960 most helpful dating book they've ever read. 132 00:05:30.160 --> 00:05:31.520 And I'm so excited to hear that. 133 00:05:31.520 --> 00:05:32.760 That's exactly what I wanted. 134 00:05:32.760 --> 00:05:34.520 I want it to be a field guide. 135 00:05:34.520 --> 00:05:38.200 I want it to be something that you can literally refer back 136 00:05:38.200 --> 00:05:41.160 to, to date differently and to have success. 137 00:05:42.400 --> 00:05:43.840 Okay, people are loving it. 138 00:05:43.840 --> 00:05:45.600 Easy read, easy read, great. 139 00:05:45.600 --> 00:05:49.560 Okay, so those recap sections are not supposed to be 140 00:05:49.560 --> 00:05:52.720 modern dating sucks for dummies. 141 00:05:52.720 --> 00:05:57.600 They're not supposed to be just a synopsis of everything 142 00:05:57.600 --> 00:05:58.760 so that you don't have to read it. 143 00:05:58.760 --> 00:06:00.920 They're not supposed to be the crib notes. 144 00:06:00.920 --> 00:06:03.920 They're not supposed to be the cliff notes. 145 00:06:08.720 --> 00:06:10.360 They're not supposed to be the cliff notes. 146 00:06:10.360 --> 00:06:12.720 I mean, they are cliff notes if we're getting technical, 147 00:06:12.720 --> 00:06:14.360 but they're not supposed to be the cliff notes. 148 00:06:14.360 --> 00:06:15.200 Okay. 149 00:06:15.200 --> 00:06:18.200 And then the next section right after the real talk recap 150 00:06:18.200 --> 00:06:20.080 is reflection questions. 151 00:06:20.080 --> 00:06:23.000 This is to help you implement what you just read. 152 00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:24.360 I don't believe in just reading. 153 00:06:24.360 --> 00:06:27.480 I believe in taking action on what we read. 154 00:06:27.480 --> 00:06:30.320 We have to integrate it into our lives. 155 00:06:30.320 --> 00:06:32.600 We have to see how it applies to us. 156 00:06:32.600 --> 00:06:34.760 Otherwise it's not gonna change us, is it? 157 00:06:34.760 --> 00:06:36.400 It's not gonna do anything at all. 158 00:06:36.400 --> 00:06:38.600 And so all of my books, if you haven't noticed, 159 00:06:38.600 --> 00:06:40.960 have these kinds of elements in them 160 00:06:40.960 --> 00:06:42.440 because I don't want you just to read. 161 00:06:42.440 --> 00:06:46.120 I want you to retain and I want you to use the information. 162 00:06:46.120 --> 00:06:47.880 And so I hope you're loving that, 163 00:06:47.880 --> 00:06:50.560 but it's not gonna work for you if you don't do it. 164 00:06:50.560 --> 00:06:52.880 Take the time, sit down and journal the answers 165 00:06:52.880 --> 00:06:53.880 to those questions. 166 00:06:53.880 --> 00:06:55.480 And then when that workbook comes out, 167 00:06:55.480 --> 00:06:57.760 you can transfer that over into that workbook 168 00:06:57.760 --> 00:07:00.800 and you can have it to keep. 169 00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:01.880 Cool? 170 00:07:01.880 --> 00:07:02.760 Awesome. 171 00:07:02.760 --> 00:07:03.600 All right. 172 00:07:03.600 --> 00:07:05.760 So I just wanted to welcome all of you that are new. 173 00:07:05.760 --> 00:07:08.040 Put your hand up if this is the first live session 174 00:07:08.040 --> 00:07:09.600 that you're joining us on. 175 00:07:09.600 --> 00:07:10.800 Once again, it's okay. 176 00:07:10.800 --> 00:07:14.520 As long as you do the replay from week one, 177 00:07:14.520 --> 00:07:16.240 you will be fine. 178 00:07:16.240 --> 00:07:18.640 There's all kinds of nuggets. 179 00:07:18.640 --> 00:07:21.280 When we teach, especially when we're aligned 180 00:07:21.280 --> 00:07:23.840 with Holy Spirit and where I'm teaching, 181 00:07:23.840 --> 00:07:26.320 there's all kinds of little nuggets that come out, 182 00:07:26.320 --> 00:07:28.040 little things that are said 183 00:07:28.040 --> 00:07:29.560 that could be a huge game changer 184 00:07:29.560 --> 00:07:30.960 for anyone who's listening. 185 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:33.760 There could be a word just for you. 186 00:07:33.760 --> 00:07:36.120 There can be a share that's just for you, 187 00:07:36.120 --> 00:07:38.400 that's gonna shift you, that's gonna change you. 188 00:07:38.400 --> 00:07:40.560 I can't tell you how many times people have listened 189 00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:42.120 to some teaching of mine, 190 00:07:42.120 --> 00:07:44.520 whether it's in my last year single community 191 00:07:44.520 --> 00:07:47.240 or it's on my social media or somewhere, 192 00:07:47.240 --> 00:07:48.880 it's in person at a conference. 193 00:07:48.880 --> 00:07:52.840 And they said, Jack, you said exactly what I needed to hear. 194 00:07:52.840 --> 00:07:53.960 And why is that? 195 00:07:53.960 --> 00:07:55.920 Because God knows who you are, He knows where you are, 196 00:07:55.920 --> 00:07:58.720 He knows what you need and He knows how to get it to you. 197 00:07:58.720 --> 00:07:59.880 And that's why it's important. 198 00:07:59.880 --> 00:08:01.760 If you can't be here live, listen to the replay 199 00:08:01.760 --> 00:08:05.320 because the very question that you've been asking God 200 00:08:05.320 --> 00:08:09.200 could be answered in just some offhanded comment 201 00:08:09.200 --> 00:08:11.200 that I make while I'm teaching. 202 00:08:11.200 --> 00:08:13.480 Because I believe that I'm in the Spirit when I'm teaching 203 00:08:13.480 --> 00:08:18.320 and I'm being led in the Spirit to release things 204 00:08:18.320 --> 00:08:22.420 and to say things that are going to help you get unstuck. 205 00:08:22.420 --> 00:08:23.540 This is a tipping point. 206 00:08:23.540 --> 00:08:25.600 This book club is not a book club. 207 00:08:25.600 --> 00:08:28.140 It is a transformational moment in your life, 208 00:08:28.140 --> 00:08:32.820 a tipping point in your life to help you go from single 209 00:08:32.820 --> 00:08:35.919 to happily partnered and married. 210 00:08:37.500 --> 00:08:39.900 All right, all right, okay. 211 00:08:39.900 --> 00:08:41.980 We're gonna get into the recaps, 212 00:08:41.980 --> 00:08:43.620 the things that I wanna hit on. 213 00:08:43.620 --> 00:08:46.780 You should have gone over for your homework for week two, 214 00:08:46.780 --> 00:08:50.420 you should have gone over chapter three and chapter four. 215 00:08:50.420 --> 00:08:52.740 Chapter three is about why the apps 216 00:08:52.740 --> 00:08:54.440 were not created to get you married. 217 00:08:54.440 --> 00:08:56.820 And you guys knew that that was true, didn't you? 218 00:08:56.820 --> 00:08:59.660 You knew that these apps were set up against you. 219 00:08:59.660 --> 00:09:01.540 They're a setup, aren't they? 220 00:09:01.540 --> 00:09:03.160 They're working against us. 221 00:09:03.160 --> 00:09:04.340 But guess what? 222 00:09:04.340 --> 00:09:08.820 When God is in the mix, anything can work to our good. 223 00:09:08.820 --> 00:09:10.580 Well, even what the enemy meant for evil 224 00:09:10.580 --> 00:09:12.460 can turn around and work for our good. 225 00:09:12.460 --> 00:09:16.120 And can I tell you, besides a few of the Christian apps, 226 00:09:16.120 --> 00:09:18.340 I said a few of the Christian apps. 227 00:09:18.340 --> 00:09:19.980 I know that a lot of you are Christian, 228 00:09:20.500 --> 00:09:22.020 a lot of you are Christ followers and believers. 229 00:09:22.020 --> 00:09:23.740 If you're not, you're still welcome here. 230 00:09:23.740 --> 00:09:26.060 We are gonna get spiritual. 231 00:09:26.060 --> 00:09:27.580 So hopefully you're a spiritual person 232 00:09:27.580 --> 00:09:29.340 that believes that you're a spirit 233 00:09:29.340 --> 00:09:32.020 that lives in a body that possesses a soul 234 00:09:32.020 --> 00:09:33.620 because that is what you are. 235 00:09:33.620 --> 00:09:35.220 And so you can't be out in these dating streets 236 00:09:35.220 --> 00:09:36.880 with just your body in charge. 237 00:09:36.880 --> 00:09:39.980 Your body cannot drive the bus, it can't. 238 00:09:39.980 --> 00:09:41.940 Your spirit's gotta drive the bus 239 00:09:41.940 --> 00:09:44.660 and your soul can get in the shotgun passenger seat 240 00:09:44.660 --> 00:09:46.540 and your body can be on the bus somewhere. 241 00:09:46.540 --> 00:09:47.740 It can't be in the front seat 242 00:09:47.740 --> 00:09:50.020 and it can't call shotgun, all right? 243 00:09:50.020 --> 00:09:51.340 It's gotta be on the bus. 244 00:09:51.340 --> 00:09:53.460 We want chemistry, we want physical attraction. 245 00:09:53.460 --> 00:09:54.820 Don't get scared. 246 00:09:54.820 --> 00:09:55.960 Don't get scared. 247 00:09:57.660 --> 00:09:59.060 It's all right. 248 00:09:59.060 --> 00:10:00.660 You can be physically attracted. 249 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:07.280 You're gonna be physically attracted, but the way you're gonna be physically attracted is if your spirit and your soul have a yes in them. 250 00:10:07.280 --> 00:10:09.660 If there's a yes, yes, then there's gonna be a yes. 251 00:10:10.520 --> 00:10:12.520 Remember, I didn't just say your spirit. 252 00:10:12.900 --> 00:10:20.060 I'm gonna get into this in later teachings, probably week three or four, but I'm just gonna hit this right now 253 00:10:20.060 --> 00:10:24.420 because I think it's important. Your spirit can be aligned with a lot of different people 254 00:10:25.420 --> 00:10:28.340 because you have the same spiritual beliefs. You have the same faith. 255 00:10:28.500 --> 00:10:34.500 You're attracted to them spiritually because of what they believe and who they are, but your soul also has to have a yes. 256 00:10:34.500 --> 00:10:38.740 What's the soul part of us? That's the heart part of us. That's the epicenter of our, 257 00:10:38.900 --> 00:10:45.820 that's the master control of our mind, will, and emotions. If we have a yes over here, this means we have compatibility. 258 00:10:45.820 --> 00:10:48.520 This means we have attraction, not just physical. 259 00:10:49.180 --> 00:10:51.780 Mental attraction, emotional attraction, 260 00:10:52.500 --> 00:10:59.300 spiritual attraction. Spirit can be aligned. People come to me all the time and they're like, Jackie, I want to meet someone. I'm like, okay. 261 00:11:00.380 --> 00:11:06.100 Tell me, tell me your non-negotiables. We're gonna build that next week in your homework. What's your non-negotiable list? 262 00:11:06.100 --> 00:11:12.140 And they'll say, oh, I don't care. I just want them to love Jesus. Uh-uh, friend. You don't just want them to love Jesus. 263 00:11:12.300 --> 00:11:16.580 Yes, we want the spirit driving the bus, but the soul is in the shotgun and 264 00:11:17.100 --> 00:11:18.500 the soul 265 00:11:18.500 --> 00:11:25.260 wants more than just them loving Jesus. I'm going to tell you that right now. It wants some chemistry. It wants some compatibility. 266 00:11:25.780 --> 00:11:31.180 It wants some shared common interests. It wants us going the right, wrong, the same direction, 267 00:11:31.860 --> 00:11:33.300 wanting the same things in life. 268 00:11:33.300 --> 00:11:39.220 There's some other things that you need. And once again, if the spirit says yes, and the soul says yes, 269 00:11:39.220 --> 00:11:41.500 and the body is going to say yes. A 270 00:11:42.180 --> 00:11:48.140 lot of people want the body to say yes first. The problem is, is the body's saying yes first, and the soul's like, oh, no, 271 00:11:48.140 --> 00:11:49.500 no, no. 272 00:11:49.500 --> 00:11:51.620 Hold on. Danger, danger. 273 00:11:52.740 --> 00:11:59.500 Right? And you think that that's excitement, but really it's anxiety. And we're gonna get there later on during this book club. 274 00:12:00.020 --> 00:12:03.380 So we don't want the both. We don't want the soul to have the only vote. 275 00:12:03.380 --> 00:12:07.580 We don't want the body to have the only vote. We don't want the spirit to have the only vote. 276 00:12:07.580 --> 00:12:13.260 We want yes, yes, and it's going to be a yes. All right. Okay. All right. So those dating apps 277 00:12:14.020 --> 00:12:17.700 out there, they are all owned by the same group of people. 278 00:12:18.460 --> 00:12:23.140 You guys listen to me. I know what I'm talking about. I've done the research. I've gone down the rabbit holes. 279 00:12:23.780 --> 00:12:26.500 Doesn't matter what they say. It doesn't matter what the name of the app is. 280 00:12:26.500 --> 00:12:30.700 It's all been bought up by the same group of people. Why? Because it's big business. 281 00:12:31.780 --> 00:12:36.780 Dating apps are big business, and it's all about this. Follow the money, and you're gonna find the corruption. 282 00:12:37.740 --> 00:12:42.860 Follow the money, and you're gonna find the corruption. Now, are there some little podunk apps that were created by 283 00:12:43.620 --> 00:12:47.340 conscientious Christians or conscientious people that really want to help people? Yes. 284 00:12:47.940 --> 00:12:54.660 Yes, there are. But those apps are usually really spammy and scammy because they don't have good algorithms. 285 00:12:54.660 --> 00:12:59.700 They usually are pretty hokey and clunky to use because they don't have a lot of money behind them. 286 00:12:59.900 --> 00:13:03.900 They don't have a good filtering system, so they're full of all kinds of crazy stuff. 287 00:13:04.420 --> 00:13:07.340 But yes, those are not owned by the big 288 00:13:08.060 --> 00:13:13.220 corporations, the big group of people, the big investors that own all the other ones. 289 00:13:14.100 --> 00:13:17.860 But the ones that are owned by the big corporations, they have one thing in common. 290 00:13:18.140 --> 00:13:22.900 They want your money, and they want to keep you on the apps. They don't want you to get married. 291 00:13:23.380 --> 00:13:26.820 That's not their business model. Their business model is not to get you married. 292 00:13:26.940 --> 00:13:29.140 Their business model is to keep you on the apps. 293 00:13:29.140 --> 00:13:33.740 And so they got a group of engineers together to design dating apps, and they designed them 294 00:13:34.300 --> 00:13:35.740 exactly the same way that 295 00:13:35.740 --> 00:13:37.220 casinos are designed. 296 00:13:37.220 --> 00:13:41.740 Now, some of you didn't know this until you read my book, and some of you knew it because you heard it somewhere else. 297 00:13:41.860 --> 00:13:47.740 But I've known this for quite some time, and it's life-changing when you understand that these apps 298 00:13:48.540 --> 00:13:55.060 have been built to keep you swiping to see if you can get a bigger, bigger, winner, winner, chicken dinner. 299 00:13:55.100 --> 00:13:57.620 Big money, no whammies. Does anyone remember that show? 300 00:13:58.620 --> 00:14:04.700 Big money, no whammies. That is what's happening here. If you've ever been to a casino, 301 00:14:05.380 --> 00:14:11.300 you win a little bit on those slot machines. They make sure that you win $5 here and $10 here, $15 here. 302 00:14:11.300 --> 00:14:18.620 Maybe they'll even let you win $200 over here because they know that most people, maybe not you, but most people, if they win, 303 00:14:19.740 --> 00:14:21.740 not consistently, 304 00:14:21.740 --> 00:14:26.060 sporadically, occasionally, they're going to keep trying to win bigger. 305 00:14:27.060 --> 00:14:29.060 They're going to keep trying to win bigger. 306 00:14:30.340 --> 00:14:36.100 They're going to keep on swiping. And this is why some of you, when you go off the apps because you have a love-hate 307 00:14:36.620 --> 00:14:40.780 relationship with them, you're like, dang it, I hate the apps because you've been swiping for a while, and you haven't hit the jackpot. 308 00:14:40.780 --> 00:14:46.220 And so you get off of them, but they're always kind of there in the back of your mind, like, okay, I'm out here. 309 00:14:46.220 --> 00:14:49.820 I'm trying to meet people in the water. I'm trying to get a job. I'm trying to get a job. 310 00:14:49.820 --> 00:14:53.100 Okay, I'm out here. I'm trying to meet people in the wild, but the apps are there. 311 00:14:53.900 --> 00:14:59.980 And you almost feel anxious about, oh, you know, that's my only chance. That's my only shot. You guys, I've been... 312 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:05.000 casinos where people that work there have told me, 313 00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:07.640 hey, yeah, see these people here on the slot machines? 314 00:15:07.640 --> 00:15:12.160 They come here every single month on payday. 315 00:15:12.160 --> 00:15:13.000 And I'm like, they do? 316 00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:14.240 And they're like, yeah, 317 00:15:14.240 --> 00:15:15.920 because they don't make enough money 318 00:15:15.920 --> 00:15:17.860 to really live the life they wanna live. 319 00:15:17.860 --> 00:15:19.780 So they're spending their bill money 320 00:15:19.780 --> 00:15:21.320 trying to hit the big jackpot. 321 00:15:21.320 --> 00:15:23.080 These are the same people that go and play 322 00:15:23.080 --> 00:15:27.240 the super ball lotto, the whatever it's called. 323 00:15:27.240 --> 00:15:28.600 What are they trying to do? 324 00:15:28.640 --> 00:15:31.880 They're trying to get something better than what they have. 325 00:15:32.760 --> 00:15:34.000 It's a mentality. 326 00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:35.600 And that is what the engineers 327 00:15:35.600 --> 00:15:39.240 that built every single dating app built it based on. 328 00:15:39.240 --> 00:15:41.080 They based it on that. 329 00:15:41.080 --> 00:15:42.160 Isn't that crazy? 330 00:15:43.120 --> 00:15:44.280 Isn't that crazy? 331 00:15:45.280 --> 00:15:46.820 One thing that I know about people, 332 00:15:46.820 --> 00:15:48.760 and so let's go ahead and dive into 333 00:15:48.760 --> 00:15:52.080 the first part of our recap for tonight. 334 00:15:52.080 --> 00:15:54.040 One thing that I know about people 335 00:15:54.040 --> 00:15:58.760 is that they're really not good at making decisions. 336 00:15:58.760 --> 00:16:00.960 We're not good at making decisions. 337 00:16:00.960 --> 00:16:03.200 And these silly apps, what do they do? 338 00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:07.980 They give us an endless stream of decisions, don't they? 339 00:16:09.960 --> 00:16:13.160 And really you have to make that decision pretty quickly. 340 00:16:13.160 --> 00:16:14.720 Most people are not decisive 341 00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:17.280 and they're not good at making even quick decisions. 342 00:16:17.280 --> 00:16:19.780 A lot of people aren't good at making decisions at all. 343 00:16:19.780 --> 00:16:20.920 Go ahead and put in the chat 344 00:16:20.920 --> 00:16:23.440 if you're just really not that great of a decision maker, 345 00:16:23.440 --> 00:16:25.600 you need time to process, 346 00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:27.680 you're really not sure what you really wanna do, 347 00:16:27.680 --> 00:16:31.520 especially when you're faced with a lot of options. 348 00:16:31.520 --> 00:16:34.160 Like you're the person at the restaurant 349 00:16:34.160 --> 00:16:37.280 that is just not, you're the last person to order. 350 00:16:37.280 --> 00:16:38.560 You just really don't know what you want 351 00:16:38.560 --> 00:16:39.560 if the menu's too big. 352 00:16:39.560 --> 00:16:41.720 If the menu's too big, you just don't know. 353 00:16:43.640 --> 00:16:46.840 Nope, just don't know. 354 00:16:46.840 --> 00:16:50.040 Analysis paralysis, there's too many options. 355 00:16:50.040 --> 00:16:52.680 You guys, I was in line at a place 356 00:16:52.680 --> 00:16:54.800 called La La Land yesterday. 357 00:16:54.800 --> 00:16:57.440 I have family in town, so I took them to Downtown Austin, 358 00:16:57.440 --> 00:16:58.960 which is where I bought this great hat. 359 00:16:58.960 --> 00:17:00.200 Do you love my hat? 360 00:17:00.200 --> 00:17:02.200 Okay, I took them to Downtown Austin 361 00:17:02.200 --> 00:17:05.000 and I took them to a place called La La Land, 362 00:17:05.000 --> 00:17:07.380 which is a coffee matcha shop. 363 00:17:08.720 --> 00:17:11.180 And it usually has a really long line. 364 00:17:12.160 --> 00:17:15.599 And I was in this long line waiting for my matcha. 365 00:17:15.599 --> 00:17:16.619 And I already know what I want 366 00:17:16.619 --> 00:17:18.599 because I drink a lot of matcha, as you guys know. 367 00:17:18.599 --> 00:17:20.640 I drink a lot of matcha, so I already know my order. 368 00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:22.579 I know what I want. 369 00:17:22.579 --> 00:17:24.440 But the menu at this place is big. 370 00:17:24.440 --> 00:17:27.720 It has banana, nut matcha, 371 00:17:27.720 --> 00:17:29.680 and it has strawberry fields matcha, 372 00:17:29.680 --> 00:17:31.360 and it has this matcha and that matcha. 373 00:17:31.360 --> 00:17:33.120 And then you can make it a latte or a matcha. 374 00:17:33.120 --> 00:17:35.200 And then it has like five different clouds to choose from. 375 00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:36.360 You can have the cold foam, 376 00:17:36.360 --> 00:17:37.320 you can have the matcha cloud, 377 00:17:37.320 --> 00:17:38.480 you can have the strawberry cloud, 378 00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:40.200 you can have this cloud, you can have that cloud. 379 00:17:40.200 --> 00:17:43.360 And I can see how someone who's not ready 380 00:17:43.360 --> 00:17:46.040 to make a decision could be very, very confused 381 00:17:46.040 --> 00:17:47.560 in this place. 382 00:17:47.560 --> 00:17:48.640 But I'm not confused. 383 00:17:48.640 --> 00:17:51.400 And I just wanna order my matcha and I wanna go. 384 00:17:52.280 --> 00:17:54.160 And we're in line for a long time. 385 00:17:54.160 --> 00:17:58.160 These precious girls in front of me, 386 00:17:58.160 --> 00:17:59.840 they've been waiting just as long as me, 387 00:17:59.840 --> 00:18:01.720 and they finally get up and they're right in front of me, 388 00:18:01.720 --> 00:18:04.840 and they're standing in the way of me and my matcha. 389 00:18:04.840 --> 00:18:07.260 And they don't know what they want. 390 00:18:07.260 --> 00:18:09.080 They have no idea what they want. 391 00:18:09.080 --> 00:18:10.480 They wanna read the menu. 392 00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:11.960 They wanna read it again. 393 00:18:11.960 --> 00:18:13.400 They wanna talk to each other. 394 00:18:13.400 --> 00:18:16.000 They wanna have a fricking conference. 395 00:18:16.840 --> 00:18:17.680 It's like, this is not a group project. 396 00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:20.480 Just order your stinking matcha. 397 00:18:20.480 --> 00:18:21.720 Just order it. 398 00:18:21.720 --> 00:18:23.560 You guys, I think this might be a conspiracy 399 00:18:23.560 --> 00:18:26.200 to teach me patience, because I promise you, 400 00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:27.560 I got to the bank the other day 401 00:18:27.560 --> 00:18:29.280 with two minutes before it closed, 402 00:18:29.280 --> 00:18:30.600 and I did something I never do. 403 00:18:30.600 --> 00:18:31.440 So don't come at me. 404 00:18:31.440 --> 00:18:32.260 I never do this. 405 00:18:32.260 --> 00:18:33.360 I've never done this before. 406 00:18:33.360 --> 00:18:35.200 I parked in the handicap spot 407 00:18:35.200 --> 00:18:37.440 because there was no parking spot open, 408 00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:39.680 and the bank was gonna close in two minutes. 409 00:18:39.680 --> 00:18:41.160 And I just needed to really quickly 410 00:18:41.160 --> 00:18:42.700 transfer some money to my brother. 411 00:18:42.700 --> 00:18:43.540 He needed it. 412 00:18:43.540 --> 00:18:44.400 I needed to do it. 413 00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:45.480 I ran in the bank. 414 00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:49.320 There was a precious little old lady in front of me 415 00:18:49.320 --> 00:18:51.880 who was counting out pennies to the teller. 416 00:18:53.440 --> 00:18:55.280 Take me now, Jesus. 417 00:18:55.280 --> 00:18:57.120 Take me now. 418 00:18:57.120 --> 00:18:59.060 I was watching the parking spot, 419 00:18:59.060 --> 00:19:01.480 just waiting for the five-oh to roll up 420 00:19:01.480 --> 00:19:04.580 and give me a $5,000 ticket for parking 421 00:19:04.580 --> 00:19:07.000 in this handicap spot. 422 00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:08.680 And this little lady, 423 00:19:08.680 --> 00:19:13.440 she was pulling out Ziploc baggies of pennies. 424 00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:15.680 Not one, not two, three. 425 00:19:15.680 --> 00:19:18.200 And she was counting them out. 426 00:19:18.200 --> 00:19:20.120 And one of them, bless her heart, 427 00:19:20.120 --> 00:19:22.120 put in her checking account. 428 00:19:22.120 --> 00:19:24.920 I was about to give this lady a $20 bill 429 00:19:24.920 --> 00:19:26.800 and let's call it a day. 430 00:19:26.800 --> 00:19:29.000 Here, honey, just deposit this. 431 00:19:29.000 --> 00:19:31.040 This is way more than the pennies you have, 432 00:19:31.040 --> 00:19:33.640 and let's get out of here. 433 00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:35.640 All right, so I really honestly think 434 00:19:35.640 --> 00:19:37.660 that this is a conspiracy against me 435 00:19:37.660 --> 00:19:41.700 with waiting behind people who are taking a long time. 436 00:19:41.700 --> 00:19:42.880 But they didn't know what they want. 437 00:19:43.280 --> 00:19:44.120 And I want you to be honest right now 438 00:19:44.120 --> 00:19:45.280 and I want you to put in the chat, 439 00:19:45.280 --> 00:19:48.120 say, that's me, raise your hand, give me a heart. 440 00:19:48.120 --> 00:19:52.440 If you have been waiting for the waiter 441 00:19:52.440 --> 00:19:53.520 to come back to the table, 442 00:19:53.520 --> 00:19:54.600 or you've been waiting in line 443 00:19:54.600 --> 00:19:56.200 and you've gotten up and it's your turn 444 00:19:56.200 --> 00:19:58.360 and you still don't know what you want. 445 00:19:58.360 --> 00:20:00.160 You still have not made a decision. 446 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:01.840 and about what you want. 447 00:20:01.840 --> 00:20:03.120 Come on, don't lie. 448 00:20:04.320 --> 00:20:06.560 Tell the truth, tell the truth. 449 00:20:07.580 --> 00:20:09.280 Do you ever do that? 450 00:20:09.280 --> 00:20:10.640 Are you the person? 451 00:20:12.200 --> 00:20:15.600 And so how can we be expected to know what we want 452 00:20:15.600 --> 00:20:18.580 in a spouse by looking at a profile picture? 453 00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:22.320 And gentlemen, this is not to call you out 454 00:20:22.320 --> 00:20:24.040 because you might not do this, 455 00:20:24.040 --> 00:20:27.080 but a lot of men, especially over 40 on these dating apps, 456 00:20:27.080 --> 00:20:29.160 this is what their picture looks like. 457 00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:32.440 This is what it looks like right here. 458 00:20:32.440 --> 00:20:36.160 And so how are we supposed to make a decision about you 459 00:20:36.160 --> 00:20:39.640 based on whatever's going on here? 460 00:20:41.080 --> 00:20:42.920 We can't, we can't. 461 00:20:42.920 --> 00:20:44.360 Can't make a decision about it. 462 00:20:44.360 --> 00:20:46.280 I don't know why men take selfies like that. 463 00:20:46.280 --> 00:20:48.400 They're like in this. 464 00:20:50.520 --> 00:20:53.040 My husband, who's over here being the peanut gallery, 465 00:20:53.040 --> 00:20:55.880 said it's because men put their selfie camera here 466 00:20:55.880 --> 00:20:57.560 and they take the picture here. 467 00:20:57.560 --> 00:21:00.560 Gentlemen, get high, get high. 468 00:21:00.560 --> 00:21:02.720 It makes you look thinner, it's good. 469 00:21:02.720 --> 00:21:06.880 Get high, get right about here, right about here, okay? 470 00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:09.720 All right, anyway, how are we expected to make a decision 471 00:21:09.720 --> 00:21:11.480 based on this information? 472 00:21:11.480 --> 00:21:14.400 And quickly too, and you know, in a lot of dating apps, 473 00:21:14.400 --> 00:21:18.880 if you say no to that person, if you say no, 474 00:21:18.880 --> 00:21:23.240 then they don't show you that person again, 475 00:21:23.240 --> 00:21:24.720 or they don't show you that person again 476 00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:26.040 for a really long time. 477 00:21:26.040 --> 00:21:29.040 Has anyone accidentally hit the X? 478 00:21:29.040 --> 00:21:34.040 Has anyone accidentally swiped left instead of right 479 00:21:35.080 --> 00:21:37.000 and were like, no, 480 00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:38.560 because they were an interesting person 481 00:21:38.560 --> 00:21:41.160 and then you're like, oh no, I've lost them forever. 482 00:21:43.400 --> 00:21:47.920 You guys, this is still slot machine mentality, right? 483 00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:49.880 Because it's like, oh, I should have pushed that button 484 00:21:49.880 --> 00:21:50.720 instead of that button. 485 00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:52.760 I should have chose that machine instead of this machine. 486 00:21:52.760 --> 00:21:54.400 Do you guys see where I'm going here? 487 00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:55.520 I got my big water. 488 00:21:57.680 --> 00:21:58.520 Do you see? 489 00:21:59.560 --> 00:22:00.400 Do you see? 490 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:02.000 Yes, it's built on FOMO, 491 00:22:03.040 --> 00:22:05.820 but they always let you win a little bit, 492 00:22:05.820 --> 00:22:07.200 always let you win a little bit. 493 00:22:07.200 --> 00:22:12.200 So you're always gonna get some sort of success 494 00:22:12.480 --> 00:22:14.600 when it's like you matched. 495 00:22:14.600 --> 00:22:16.420 That's the, you guys, just so you know, 496 00:22:16.420 --> 00:22:18.880 that's the sevens coming up on the slot machine 497 00:22:18.880 --> 00:22:21.120 or the cherries coming up on the slot machine. 498 00:22:21.120 --> 00:22:23.880 When you swipe on someone and you immediately are like, 499 00:22:24.360 --> 00:22:25.200 oh, they swiped on you too. 500 00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:26.020 You matched. 501 00:22:26.020 --> 00:22:26.860 Yay. 502 00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:31.420 Who gets a little excited when you swipe on someone 503 00:22:31.420 --> 00:22:33.400 who looks interesting and then you find out 504 00:22:33.400 --> 00:22:35.240 they swiped on you when that little thing comes up. 505 00:22:35.240 --> 00:22:38.400 It's like, you matched. 506 00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:39.900 Anybody else? 507 00:22:39.900 --> 00:22:41.800 You guys see how it's a slot machine, right? 508 00:22:41.800 --> 00:22:43.640 You see what I'm talking about? 509 00:22:43.640 --> 00:22:45.400 It's crazy, right? 510 00:22:45.400 --> 00:22:48.560 And doesn't it kind of already set you up for failure 511 00:22:48.560 --> 00:22:51.080 because when it does that, you matched, 512 00:22:51.080 --> 00:22:53.320 it kind of is sending you a signal 513 00:22:53.760 --> 00:22:55.360 that you just won something. 514 00:22:55.360 --> 00:22:58.800 And maybe this is the worst human being in the entire world 515 00:22:58.800 --> 00:23:00.560 that you just matched with. 516 00:23:00.560 --> 00:23:03.000 But you now have this predisposition of, 517 00:23:03.000 --> 00:23:06.360 oh, wow, I just won something. 518 00:23:06.360 --> 00:23:08.280 Something good just happened. 519 00:23:08.280 --> 00:23:10.040 I matched with someone. 520 00:23:10.040 --> 00:23:12.560 I swiped on someone and they swiped on me. 521 00:23:12.560 --> 00:23:14.360 And so you guys, it becomes a game. 522 00:23:14.360 --> 00:23:16.720 It becomes like Tetris or Candy Crush 523 00:23:16.720 --> 00:23:19.360 or whatever else that you're addicted to. 524 00:23:19.360 --> 00:23:21.900 I've been watching those dumb little AI soap operas 525 00:23:21.900 --> 00:23:23.940 that keep popping up on my cell phone. 526 00:23:23.940 --> 00:23:25.940 And I have to watch the other episode 527 00:23:25.940 --> 00:23:27.580 and I watch all the episodes 528 00:23:27.580 --> 00:23:29.420 until I get to the one that's locked. 529 00:23:29.420 --> 00:23:30.780 And then I can't watch anymore. 530 00:23:30.780 --> 00:23:31.620 Why? 531 00:23:31.620 --> 00:23:34.660 Because it's hitting our dopamine centers. 532 00:23:35.900 --> 00:23:36.900 What's happening next? 533 00:23:36.900 --> 00:23:37.800 What's happening next? 534 00:23:37.800 --> 00:23:39.660 What's happening next? 535 00:23:39.660 --> 00:23:41.900 And then what happens is, is it wants my money 536 00:23:41.900 --> 00:23:43.460 if I wanna see what happens next. 537 00:23:43.460 --> 00:23:44.900 And that's exactly what's happening to you 538 00:23:44.900 --> 00:23:46.000 on the dating apps. 539 00:23:47.300 --> 00:23:49.860 Oh, you wanna see who else swiped on you? 540 00:23:49.860 --> 00:23:51.620 You're missing out. 541 00:23:52.340 --> 00:23:53.220 There's a lot of people that swiped on you, 542 00:23:53.220 --> 00:23:55.860 better people that swiped on you. 543 00:23:55.860 --> 00:23:59.220 So you need the super, you need to supersize yourself. 544 00:23:59.220 --> 00:24:03.020 You need the big whammy button, right? 545 00:24:03.020 --> 00:24:03.860 Big money, no whammies. 546 00:24:03.860 --> 00:24:05.860 You need the big money button, no whammy button. 547 00:24:05.860 --> 00:24:10.220 And so they ask you to pay $5 or $10 and it all adds up. 548 00:24:10.220 --> 00:24:14.140 Or some of them ask you to pay before you even get there. 549 00:24:14.140 --> 00:24:16.500 Like eHarmony and places like that. 550 00:24:16.500 --> 00:24:18.700 They want you to pay before you even get there. 551 00:24:18.700 --> 00:24:21.260 Okay, yeah, they want you to go premium. 552 00:24:21.900 --> 00:24:23.300 But the problem is, is the people 553 00:24:23.300 --> 00:24:25.260 are not necessarily premium, are they? 554 00:24:27.700 --> 00:24:29.420 Now, that all being said, 555 00:24:30.420 --> 00:24:33.540 and this might hurt your feelings and I'm sorry if it does, 556 00:24:33.540 --> 00:24:35.140 but this all being said, 557 00:24:36.700 --> 00:24:40.980 70% of people over 40 that are getting married 558 00:24:40.980 --> 00:24:45.280 are still meeting their person on some form of technology. 559 00:24:48.500 --> 00:24:50.780 So that means that we can't throw it out the window. 560 00:24:51.300 --> 00:24:53.100 We just have to beat it at its own game. 561 00:24:53.100 --> 00:24:53.980 Am I right? 562 00:24:55.900 --> 00:24:59.100 If it is a game to the people that created it 563 00:24:59.100 --> 00:25:00.500 and they wanna get us hooked. 564 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.280 and addicted, then we have to beat them at their own game, don't we? 565 00:25:05.360 --> 00:25:12.400 Guys get me? You believe me? Come on, respond in the chat. You guys read about my client Sandra. 566 00:25:14.560 --> 00:25:19.920 It wasn't that she spent 11 hours on the dating app that week. It was that it didn't lead to one 567 00:25:20.720 --> 00:25:28.480 freaking date. Guys, these are dating apps. They're not talking apps. They're not loitering apps. 568 00:25:30.080 --> 00:25:34.160 They're dating apps. It's supposed to lead to a date and it's supposed to lead to a date quickly. 569 00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:39.920 And if it doesn't lead to a date quickly, then what are we doing? So really what happened 570 00:25:40.880 --> 00:25:46.560 when we were doing that inventory, guys, I say this in heart work all the time. I'm going to 571 00:25:46.560 --> 00:25:51.840 say it now. You don't get what you expect. You get what you inspect. And we were doing an inspection 572 00:25:52.560 --> 00:25:58.000 of our time and of our bandwidth and of our capacity in that group coaching session. 573 00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:03.440 And she realized that she had been on the dating apps for 11 hours that week, 574 00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:12.400 and it had not led to one significant intentional conversation that had led to any type of meetup. 575 00:26:13.840 --> 00:26:19.920 So I want to see if you guys did a little inspection of your own online behavior, 576 00:26:20.960 --> 00:26:26.560 and I want you to put in the chat. If you did this, the book talks about it, 577 00:26:26.560 --> 00:26:33.920 but I don't know if you did it or not. How long you were using online, 578 00:26:35.040 --> 00:26:39.680 whether that's looking at people's profiles on Instagram or Facebook or dating app 579 00:26:41.280 --> 00:26:49.040 with no significant fruit. Two hours and 32 minutes. Not bad, Sandy. Not bad. Maybe one 580 00:26:49.040 --> 00:26:57.200 hour. Not bad. 15 minutes. Great. Zero hours, four hours, 10 minutes a day. It's not very much. 581 00:26:57.200 --> 00:27:02.880 You might need to up that a little bit. Three hours, five hours, two and a half hours, 45 582 00:27:02.880 --> 00:27:09.040 minutes, one hour, too many, too many hours. Zero hours because I'm not on technology. Okay. Too 583 00:27:09.040 --> 00:27:15.680 much, too much, too much, too much. A half hour, a half hour a day. Zero. Never been on a dating 584 00:27:15.680 --> 00:27:22.720 app. Varied from week to week. One hour a day, 70 to 80 minutes. Okay. So before this book club is 585 00:27:22.720 --> 00:27:30.720 over, we are going to talk about how to use these technology platforms, not just apps, but other 586 00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:44.240 platforms to get good and not just good, but actual forward movement success. All right. Not 587 00:27:44.240 --> 00:27:47.600 just, okay, I match with someone. We had an intentional conversation and I got a date, 588 00:27:47.600 --> 00:27:52.720 not just to get a date, but to get a date with the type of people that could lead to marriage. 589 00:27:52.720 --> 00:27:57.200 We're going to talk about that. But before we talk about that, I'm going to ask you to do something 590 00:27:57.200 --> 00:28:00.560 and I can't force you to do it. And you're on the honor system because I'm never going to know if 591 00:28:00.560 --> 00:28:05.360 you did it or not. Only you're going to know. I'm going to ask you to go on a dating app sabbatical 592 00:28:05.360 --> 00:28:12.080 until the end of the book club. I'm going to ask you to go on a dating app sabbatical. I'm going 593 00:28:12.080 --> 00:28:23.840 to ask you to go on a technology sabbatical in the area of looking for someone to love or to love 594 00:28:23.840 --> 00:28:30.800 you. Okay. That means you're going to do it for three more weeks after this week, because we have 595 00:28:30.800 --> 00:28:34.800 three more weeks left. Now, does that mean that you don't have, you can't go on any dates during 596 00:28:34.800 --> 00:28:42.720 this? No, I'm talking about looking for love on dating apps or other platforms that are technology 597 00:28:42.720 --> 00:28:47.840 platforms. And why is this? Because I believe at the end of five weeks, you're going to be a 598 00:28:47.840 --> 00:28:52.880 different person. Who's very clear and very confident about what you want. And you'll be 599 00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:58.400 able to weed out what you don't want really quickly. And because of that, you can have 600 00:28:58.480 --> 00:29:04.240 success on these platforms, you know, playing their, their game against them in casinos. 601 00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:07.920 The house always wins. You guys, it might look like people are winning, but they're not the 602 00:29:07.920 --> 00:29:14.240 house always wins because the people that even win the other people are not winning. And that is, 603 00:29:14.240 --> 00:29:18.080 you know, basically the bottom line is that they're always coming out on top. 604 00:29:18.080 --> 00:29:22.000 Same with these dating apps. Yeah. Some people meet, they get married, but the amount of people 605 00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:26.800 that get frustrated, the amount of people that get into bad situations, the amount of people that 606 00:29:26.800 --> 00:29:32.800 really just have that empty, hollow feeling in their lives because of this technology, 607 00:29:33.440 --> 00:29:38.560 those people are more than the people that are having success. And so it's really important 608 00:29:38.560 --> 00:29:44.640 that we not just, you know, beat them at their own game, but that we have success because we're 609 00:29:44.640 --> 00:29:51.040 able to, to understand how to use this for our benefit. Kind of like Romans 8, 28, God works all 610 00:29:51.040 --> 00:29:55.360 things to our good. Well, the teaching during this five weeks is going to work dating apps, 611 00:29:55.360 --> 00:29:59.840 even to your good, even dating apps are going to work to your good. And it's going to be great. 612 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.080 All right, all right, all right. 613 00:30:03.080 --> 00:30:06.980 So I want a yes from everyone who agrees 614 00:30:06.980 --> 00:30:08.920 that they're gonna go on a dating app sabbatical 615 00:30:08.920 --> 00:30:12.120 or a technology dating sabbatical. 616 00:30:12.120 --> 00:30:14.140 Let's see it in the chat. 617 00:30:14.140 --> 00:30:16.120 I'm not forcing you. 618 00:30:16.120 --> 00:30:18.120 Don't say yes if you're not gonna do it. 619 00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:43.000 Okay, wait, who's this person? 620 00:30:43.000 --> 00:30:44.840 Sarah said yes, but it'll be hard. 621 00:30:44.840 --> 00:30:47.800 No, it won't be hard. 622 00:30:47.800 --> 00:30:50.320 If you think it's gonna be hard to go off a dating app 623 00:30:50.320 --> 00:30:54.160 for three weeks, then you need to ask yourself why. 624 00:30:54.160 --> 00:30:56.680 Do you think that that's your only chance at love? 625 00:30:56.680 --> 00:30:59.400 Are you outsourcing your love life to the algorithm? 626 00:30:59.400 --> 00:31:01.260 Is that what you're doing? 627 00:31:01.260 --> 00:31:02.760 Are you anxious attacher? 628 00:31:02.760 --> 00:31:05.320 Are you someone who just, you know, you need attention. 629 00:31:05.320 --> 00:31:08.040 You know, you're kind of addicted to the dopamine of, 630 00:31:08.040 --> 00:31:09.800 you matched, you matched, you matched. 631 00:31:09.800 --> 00:31:11.040 This person likes me. 632 00:31:11.040 --> 00:31:12.040 They like me. 633 00:31:12.040 --> 00:31:13.480 They really like me. 634 00:31:13.480 --> 00:31:20.640 No, they don't. 635 00:31:20.640 --> 00:31:23.480 Do you guys, let me give you these statistics, you guys. 636 00:31:23.480 --> 00:31:25.720 Women, gentlemen, this is important. 637 00:31:25.720 --> 00:31:28.760 Listen up, because I don't think that you're necessarily men like this, 638 00:31:28.760 --> 00:31:31.440 but this is a statistic that's important. 639 00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:40.360 Women, okay, on dating apps, they swipe on less than 15% of the profiles that they see. 640 00:31:40.360 --> 00:31:42.400 Did you hear me? 641 00:31:42.400 --> 00:31:43.400 Why is that? 642 00:31:43.400 --> 00:31:46.400 Because women are already being a lot more intentional than men. 643 00:31:46.400 --> 00:31:50.680 Men that are on dating apps, not all men, not all men that are on dating apps, 644 00:31:50.680 --> 00:31:54.480 but enough men to make this statistic an actual statistic. 645 00:31:54.480 --> 00:32:00.160 They swipe on 70% of the profiles that they see. 646 00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:03.660 Can anyone tell me why they think that might be? 647 00:32:03.660 --> 00:32:05.760 Are men less picky than women? 648 00:32:05.760 --> 00:32:07.320 Are men less intentional than women? 649 00:32:07.320 --> 00:32:10.000 And remember, this is a specific type of man, 650 00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:18.000 but there's enough of these type of men on the dating apps that this has become a statistic. 651 00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:24.200 People are saying they swipe on looks, men are visual. 652 00:32:24.200 --> 00:32:26.920 They want options. 653 00:32:26.920 --> 00:32:27.920 They're playing the odds. 654 00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:31.760 Cindy, we're going to keep your answer for a minute from now. 655 00:32:31.760 --> 00:32:34.160 They're playing the odds. 656 00:32:34.160 --> 00:32:36.640 You guys, I know we've been told that men are more visual, 657 00:32:36.640 --> 00:32:38.920 but do we really believe they're more visual? 658 00:32:38.920 --> 00:32:40.760 Because are you visual ladies? 659 00:32:40.760 --> 00:32:44.680 Please, please tell me in the comments of whether or not you're visual. 660 00:32:44.680 --> 00:32:45.680 All right. 661 00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:49.600 If you're, if you're, if you're seeing impaired, then that's okay. 662 00:32:49.600 --> 00:32:58.960 But for all of you that have your sight, are you visual? 663 00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:00.960 I don't know where this came from. 664 00:33:00.960 --> 00:33:02.240 I don't know where this came from. 665 00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:03.800 Oh, well, men are just visual. 666 00:33:03.800 --> 00:33:05.200 They're more visual than women. 667 00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:06.200 No, they're not. 668 00:33:06.200 --> 00:33:08.440 What are we talking about? 669 00:33:08.440 --> 00:33:13.080 That's not true. 670 00:33:13.080 --> 00:33:15.280 In fact, women have more color cones in their eyes. 671 00:33:15.280 --> 00:33:18.960 We have more color cones, which means that we see things more vibrantly even than men 672 00:33:19.320 --> 00:33:20.320 do. 673 00:33:20.320 --> 00:33:24.760 We're very visual, very visual. 674 00:33:24.760 --> 00:33:28.560 We judge a lot of things by what we see. 675 00:33:28.560 --> 00:33:30.180 Okay. 676 00:33:30.180 --> 00:33:36.120 So a couple of you's answers put together make up the answer that I'm looking for. 677 00:33:36.120 --> 00:33:38.540 Men want more options. 678 00:33:38.540 --> 00:33:43.880 This statistic is based on the kind of men that are on dating apps that want more options 679 00:33:43.880 --> 00:33:48.920 or swiping on more women, starting more conversations with more women because they are there. 680 00:33:49.760 --> 00:33:56.000 For a transactional purpose, meaning that they're looking for some kind of physical 681 00:33:56.000 --> 00:34:02.680 transaction. 682 00:34:02.680 --> 00:34:07.040 Not necessarily sex, but something like that. 683 00:34:07.040 --> 00:34:09.159 All right. 684 00:34:09.159 --> 00:34:10.960 Does that mean that there aren't good guys on apps? 685 00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:11.960 No. 686 00:34:11.960 --> 00:34:14.400 Does that mean that there aren't men that are actually looking for relationships on 687 00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:15.400 apps? 688 00:34:15.400 --> 00:34:16.440 No, it doesn't mean that. 689 00:34:16.440 --> 00:34:20.000 Does it mean that the majority of men on dating apps are not looking for that? 690 00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:22.440 Yes, it does mean that. 691 00:34:22.440 --> 00:34:24.360 The majority. 692 00:34:24.360 --> 00:34:31.199 It does not mean that there aren't men because that means that there's at least 30% of the 693 00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:34.400 men on dating apps that are looking for relationships. 694 00:34:34.400 --> 00:34:37.120 And you guys, ladies, I just want to remind you of this. 695 00:34:37.120 --> 00:34:41.639 You only need one. 696 00:34:41.639 --> 00:34:44.440 You only need one. 697 00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:46.440 Okay. 698 00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:55.400 I mean, even if you're looking to become a second or third wife polygamist, you still 699 00:34:55.400 --> 00:34:58.400 only need one. 700 00:34:58.400 --> 00:34:59.400 That's a joke. 701 00:34:59.400 --> 00:35:00.400 I'm not. 702 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.000 right in and say, Jackie is in favor of polygamy. 703 00:35:00.400 --> 00:35:00.400 704 00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:07.200 True story. When I first started out, 705 00:35:07.360 --> 00:35:11.480 when I first started out six years ago, helping women, 706 00:35:11.520 --> 00:35:12.960 helping men and women get married, 707 00:35:13.560 --> 00:35:18.120 I actually almost partnered with someone who had this big community for 708 00:35:18.120 --> 00:35:22.200 singles, but God's like, no, like I felt like something was off. 709 00:35:22.200 --> 00:35:23.360 I felt like we weren't aligned. 710 00:35:23.360 --> 00:35:25.600 And then something happened that kind of proved that to me. 711 00:35:25.840 --> 00:35:27.760 And now that same person, 712 00:35:28.160 --> 00:35:30.520 that same person is a polygamist. 713 00:35:33.360 --> 00:35:35.920 You guys, we out here dodging bullets all over the place. 714 00:35:36.080 --> 00:35:38.760 You got to stop being self-defended and start being God defended. 715 00:35:38.760 --> 00:35:41.720 God knows how to protect you. Okay. 716 00:35:41.840 --> 00:35:46.120 I could have publicly partnered my corporation, 717 00:35:46.120 --> 00:35:50.960 my organization with someone who now is out here 718 00:35:50.960 --> 00:35:55.680 trying to teach people why plural marriage is the 719 00:35:55.680 --> 00:35:59.080 only biblical marriage. God help us. 720 00:36:00.840 --> 00:36:04.560 I dodged that bullet and you guys have dodged a lot of bullets too. All right. 721 00:36:04.560 --> 00:36:09.280 So do not be afraid to be on the dating apps thinking that 722 00:36:09.280 --> 00:36:13.600 you're going to get hit with a bullet because the kind of teaching we're going to 723 00:36:13.600 --> 00:36:17.480 do for the rest of this book club is going to help you be there for the right 724 00:36:17.480 --> 00:36:21.640 reasons with the right heart in the right place at the right time. 725 00:36:22.760 --> 00:36:23.600 All right. 726 00:36:26.680 --> 00:36:28.880 All right. All right. All right. All right. 727 00:36:28.880 --> 00:36:31.000 You guys saw that there's a study, a lot of you, 728 00:36:31.000 --> 00:36:34.800 how many of you had heard about the jam study before I wrote about it in my 729 00:36:34.800 --> 00:36:38.760 book? How many of you had heard about the study from 2000, 730 00:36:38.920 --> 00:36:40.160 26 years ago? 731 00:36:42.160 --> 00:36:46.680 It's really about the paradox of choice and how us humans do with choice. 732 00:36:46.960 --> 00:36:49.000 How many of you had heard about that? Anyone? 733 00:36:51.160 --> 00:36:54.160 I know it's very interesting, isn't it? Jelly, 734 00:36:55.160 --> 00:36:59.240 jelly jam. Some of you don't even like jam. 735 00:37:00.120 --> 00:37:01.480 Some of you don't even like jelly, 736 00:37:03.160 --> 00:37:07.760 but what they did for those of you that only read the cliff notes and 737 00:37:07.760 --> 00:37:11.400 didn't actually read the book, bless your heart. 738 00:37:11.920 --> 00:37:15.560 For those of you that didn't read it, they did a 739 00:37:17.360 --> 00:37:21.200 test, two grocery stores. Oh no, actually one grocery store, 740 00:37:21.440 --> 00:37:25.840 two different aisles. They set up two different places. 741 00:37:26.440 --> 00:37:28.760 We'll call them jam stations. Okay. 742 00:37:29.320 --> 00:37:33.360 One of those jam stations had, I think it was 743 00:37:36.680 --> 00:37:38.840 six flavors. It was six flavors. 744 00:37:38.840 --> 00:37:43.480 One jam tasting station had six flavors and the other had 24 745 00:37:43.720 --> 00:37:47.000 flavors. You guys ever been to Baskin Robbins? 746 00:37:47.520 --> 00:37:50.880 Unless you really know what you like, you know what you like. And here, 747 00:37:50.920 --> 00:37:55.240 here's the problem with knowing what you like. Some of you are like me. 748 00:37:57.200 --> 00:38:00.280 I don't know where my, my picture went. My, my video is gone. 749 00:38:01.160 --> 00:38:02.480 I don't know what happened to it. 750 00:38:04.840 --> 00:38:05.680 Hold on one sec. 751 00:38:09.080 --> 00:38:10.160 No idea where I went. 752 00:38:13.760 --> 00:38:15.000 This camera probably went dead. 753 00:38:15.040 --> 00:38:18.800 Okay. Some of you are like me. I see myself over here, so that's okay. 754 00:38:19.760 --> 00:38:23.360 And when you go into Baskin Robbins, you order the same thing every time. 755 00:38:23.880 --> 00:38:26.920 I get mint chocolate chip. And if I'm going to get two scoops, 756 00:38:26.920 --> 00:38:30.000 I get coffee, Jamocha and mint chocolate chip. 757 00:38:32.680 --> 00:38:37.480 Have I tasted the other 48 flavors? Is Baskin Robbins 48? 758 00:38:37.480 --> 00:38:40.080 How many flavors is Baskin Robbins? Put it in the chat. If you know. 759 00:38:40.200 --> 00:38:44.520 31. Okay. 48. I haven't been there in a while. 31 flavors. 760 00:38:46.160 --> 00:38:50.040 Have I tasted the other 29 flavors? 761 00:38:52.120 --> 00:38:55.680 I'm glad you asked. No, I have not. I have not tasted them. 762 00:38:56.000 --> 00:38:58.920 There's some of them that just by the name, I know that I, I, I, 763 00:38:58.960 --> 00:39:00.520 I don't think that I would like them. 764 00:39:02.160 --> 00:39:05.520 I'm glad you asked. No, I have not. I have not tasted them. 765 00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:08.680 There's some of them that just by the name, I know that I, I, I, 766 00:39:08.680 --> 00:39:13.600 I don't think that I would like them. I'm not a real Sherbert fan. 767 00:39:13.600 --> 00:39:16.800 So the ones that are Sherbert, I don't think that I would like, um, 768 00:39:16.840 --> 00:39:18.400 the ones that are rainbow flavored, 769 00:39:18.400 --> 00:39:22.800 the ones that have like stuff in them like sprinkles and stuff. 770 00:39:23.200 --> 00:39:24.760 I don't think that I would like that. 771 00:39:25.640 --> 00:39:27.360 And aren't we kind of like that in life? 772 00:39:28.200 --> 00:39:31.400 Some of you have a real hard time making a choice. 773 00:39:31.640 --> 00:39:35.680 Like you would go to that jam station with 24 flavors and you would know what 774 00:39:35.800 --> 00:39:40.000 to do. Okay. Boysenberry. That's good. 775 00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:44.160 And Rambleberry and the Brambleberry and this, and you'd be all messed up. 776 00:39:44.480 --> 00:39:45.320 Okay. 777 00:39:46.360 --> 00:39:50.360 But some of us, we would just be like, give me the peach jam. And they're like, 778 00:39:50.360 --> 00:39:52.960 well, do you want to try it? No, I like peaches. 779 00:39:53.440 --> 00:39:58.040 I like peaches and I like jam. So I like peach jam. Okay. 780 00:39:58.160 --> 00:39:59.280 That's what you would do. 781 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.440 You are hurting yourselves because you know, you might like the brambleberry you might like it 782 00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:14.000 And so this is this is important it's an important coaching moment for all of you that don't try anything new 783 00:40:16.400 --> 00:40:20.880 And so your assignment this week listen up is to try something new 784 00:40:22.160 --> 00:40:25.600 I don't care what it is, but I want you to post about it in the group 785 00:40:26.560 --> 00:40:28.160 on the app 786 00:40:28.160 --> 00:40:34.520 Or in the Facebook group if you joined that I want you to post whatever it is that you tried new and tell me whether 787 00:40:34.520 --> 00:40:36.520 You like it or not 788 00:40:37.120 --> 00:40:41.560 Okay, and don't just try a regular chocolate chip instead of mint chocolate chip, you know 789 00:40:41.560 --> 00:40:45.680 Live a little live a little stretch yourself and it doesn't even have to be ice cream 790 00:40:46.280 --> 00:40:48.280 Doesn't have to be ice cream at all 791 00:40:48.280 --> 00:40:52.660 Anything new try something new something that you're not sure that you would like 792 00:40:53.380 --> 00:41:00.340 Because we have to expand our palates it doesn't have to be food. It could just be some kind of new activity as well 793 00:41:02.580 --> 00:41:06.660 We got to expand we're gonna expand during these five weeks we got to branch out 794 00:41:08.900 --> 00:41:10.900 Some of you 795 00:41:12.020 --> 00:41:15.300 Right now if you are standing right in front of your spirit mate 796 00:41:15.300 --> 00:41:20.100 You would miss the love that's right in front of you because it's not gonna show up in a package that you're expecting 797 00:41:20.180 --> 00:41:25.780 And I don't mean the way they look I just mean what you have thought about your love story 798 00:41:27.540 --> 00:41:30.820 Your preconceived ideas, maybe you're running that fairy tale script 799 00:41:32.860 --> 00:41:36.740 Maybe you're running one of the other scripts your independent script, whatever the script is 800 00:41:36.740 --> 00:41:42.020 You're gonna miss the love that's right in front of you because it's not going to show up in a familiar package 801 00:41:43.060 --> 00:41:47.340 I'm gonna tell you right now. Some of you are gonna marry an interracial marriage. You're gonna have an interracial marriage 802 00:41:47.740 --> 00:41:49.740 You're gonna have an interracial marriage 803 00:41:49.900 --> 00:41:55.180 What race I don't know what culture I don't know, but God has something 804 00:41:55.800 --> 00:41:58.540 Different for you than what you grew up with 805 00:41:59.740 --> 00:42:04.780 Your future spouse represents different skin color possibly different food 806 00:42:05.420 --> 00:42:07.100 culture possibly 807 00:42:07.100 --> 00:42:09.100 different language possibly 808 00:42:10.780 --> 00:42:14.140 And it's my job as your coach and as your mentor 809 00:42:14.540 --> 00:42:20.620 And as your spiritual mentor during this book club to get you ready to be able to receive that 810 00:42:29.100 --> 00:42:33.420 I'm not saying you're not gonna be shocked, but you're just gonna be really happy 811 00:42:34.340 --> 00:42:36.180 If you let yourself be happy 812 00:42:36.180 --> 00:42:40.300 I had a client once and see this is where Holy Spirit starts leading us in all different directions 813 00:42:40.300 --> 00:42:41.860 But I really feel like I need to say this 814 00:42:41.860 --> 00:42:45.620 I had a client once who was dating a guy and 815 00:42:47.100 --> 00:42:53.260 She was American white Caucasian from the land of Caucus. All right 816 00:42:54.140 --> 00:42:57.580 That's a joke. If you don't get it, you don't get it. That's all right. And if you know, you know 817 00:42:58.180 --> 00:42:59.260 and 818 00:42:59.260 --> 00:43:03.260 He was Indian and he was decidedly Indian and he was from India 819 00:43:03.260 --> 00:43:10.100 he had lived in the States for a long time since he was young, but he was Indian and he looked Indian because he was 820 00:43:10.100 --> 00:43:11.580 Indian and 821 00:43:11.580 --> 00:43:17.780 they were dating and she really liked him and they had so much in common and they met in my community actually and all was 822 00:43:17.780 --> 00:43:19.780 good and well and 823 00:43:19.860 --> 00:43:25.380 It just wasn't progressing. It wasn't moving forward and I asked her I said, hey, why isn't this moving forward? 824 00:43:25.380 --> 00:43:28.020 I was like, is he not marriage-minded and she said oh, no, he is 825 00:43:28.220 --> 00:43:31.420 He actually already asked me if you know 826 00:43:31.420 --> 00:43:33.820 If I was marriage-minded with him like that 827 00:43:33.820 --> 00:43:38.180 He told me he was marriage-minded and he wanted to know if I you know 828 00:43:38.180 --> 00:43:41.820 Was also on board with this progressing to marriage 829 00:43:41.980 --> 00:43:47.140 She said and I froze and the reason why I froze was because you know 830 00:43:47.140 --> 00:43:51.100 My father would never approve of me marrying someone with dark skin 831 00:43:51.100 --> 00:43:55.180 he would never approve of me marrying an Indian man, and I was like 832 00:43:59.380 --> 00:44:04.180 Because she was old enough to know better she was in her 60s and I said 833 00:44:05.180 --> 00:44:10.020 Is your daddy still alive and she said no and I was like, what are we talking about right now? 834 00:44:12.420 --> 00:44:14.780 What what do you mean your dad won't approve 835 00:44:15.740 --> 00:44:18.540 Your daddy ain't here. He doesn't get a vote 836 00:44:18.540 --> 00:44:23.580 He didn't get a vote anyway, but he really doesn't get a vote now because he's not alive on the earth 837 00:44:23.580 --> 00:44:25.580 And so it literally 838 00:44:26.460 --> 00:44:33.660 Was what she knew her father would think of it that had her paralyzed in real life in real time 839 00:44:34.180 --> 00:44:36.620 And some of you are like that's silly that would never happen to me 840 00:44:36.620 --> 00:44:41.620 Don't tell me that because I've seen all kinds of things happen to people that they don't think can happen to them 841 00:44:41.620 --> 00:44:44.940 And so it's my job to get you ready for whatever's coming 842 00:44:45.500 --> 00:44:51.780 Some of you are going to move you said that your non-negotiable was that you were never going to move away from where you live 843 00:44:51.780 --> 00:44:54.620 Now and when we get to this teaching in week three or four 844 00:44:54.780 --> 00:44:59.980 You're gonna see that that is not a non-negotiable because we're gonna do a lot of work around non-negotiable 845 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.120 So some of you are moving and you don't know it yet. 846 00:45:03.320 --> 00:45:06.440 Some of you are marrying people that you never expected to marry. 847 00:45:06.440 --> 00:45:11.280 Some of you are gonna be bonus moms when you said you would never marry a divorced person that had children. 848 00:45:11.280 --> 00:45:16.000 Some of you are gonna be bonus dads that said that your deal-breaker was a woman with kids and guess what? 849 00:45:16.320 --> 00:45:19.680 Your future wife has kids already. Bless the Lord. 850 00:45:19.880 --> 00:45:20.600 All right. 851 00:45:20.600 --> 00:45:22.080 So I'm just gonna tell you right now, 852 00:45:22.080 --> 00:45:27.600 you need to be willing to be made willing in God's day of power. And when is God's day of power? Right now. 853 00:45:28.040 --> 00:45:28.840 Right now. 854 00:45:28.840 --> 00:45:33.040 The only reason that we're here and the only reason that I do what I do and the only reason I wrote these books and 855 00:45:33.040 --> 00:45:38.040 the only reason I'm teaching you now is because God asked me to help his single sons and daughters get married for one reason and 856 00:45:38.040 --> 00:45:42.160 one reason only. Because we need to be partnered for what's coming next. 857 00:45:42.920 --> 00:45:47.000 What's coming next, Jackie? I have no idea. He didn't give me that information. 858 00:45:47.000 --> 00:45:49.400 He just told me that this was the season, 859 00:45:49.400 --> 00:45:56.160 this was the time frame that his single sons and daughters would step into partnership because two is better than one and that's what we're 860 00:45:56.160 --> 00:46:02.120 doing here. So get ready to lay down whatever your objections are and let's get moving forward. 861 00:46:02.120 --> 00:46:09.520 So six flavors, 24 flavors, which stand do you think sold the most jam? The one with the less amount of options. 862 00:46:10.440 --> 00:46:16.120 The least amount of options was the place where people made better and quicker decisions. 863 00:46:16.120 --> 00:46:21.560 And so dating apps with all the options, what do you think's happening here? People are not making quick decisions. 864 00:46:21.560 --> 00:46:26.080 They're not making good decisions because they're confused. And every time they finally do make a decision, 865 00:46:26.080 --> 00:46:31.080 they're worried about the other 23 jams that they didn't choose because maybe they would have liked that better. 866 00:46:31.960 --> 00:46:38.160 And for the people that always go to the same jam, they always go to the same guy that's over six feet tall with dark hair. 867 00:46:38.160 --> 00:46:41.520 They always go to the same girl with the athletic build and blonde hair and blue eyes. 868 00:46:41.520 --> 00:46:50.120 They always go to the same jam not knowing that the better match for them would have been the jam that looked different than their type. 869 00:46:51.920 --> 00:46:53.920 Do you guys follow me? I'm not talking about jam. 870 00:46:54.880 --> 00:46:56.880 All right. I hope that you're following me. 871 00:47:01.400 --> 00:47:05.600 You guys, dating apps caused a few problems that have never been caused before. 872 00:47:05.600 --> 00:47:09.040 Ghosting is not a character flaw of people. 873 00:47:09.040 --> 00:47:15.120 It's an epidemic that was created by an anonymous system with zero social accountability. 874 00:47:16.840 --> 00:47:18.840 Zero social accountability. 875 00:47:19.560 --> 00:47:26.520 Do you think that you would just literally stop talking to someone that you're supposed to be romantically involved with 876 00:47:26.520 --> 00:47:31.080 if you guys were both part of the same community, same friend group, 877 00:47:33.720 --> 00:47:35.240 same church, 878 00:47:35.240 --> 00:47:36.360 same workplace? 879 00:47:36.360 --> 00:47:41.120 No, and you want to know why you wouldn't do something like that? Because people would hold you accountable to that. 880 00:47:41.120 --> 00:47:46.600 People would ask you, what are you doing? People would tell you that you were rude. People would tell you that that was unkind. 881 00:47:47.280 --> 00:47:54.280 People would tell you that you need to grow up because mature people don't do things like that. That's what would happen. 882 00:47:56.200 --> 00:48:02.760 But dating apps, we're dating in the dark. We're dating in the dark. We're keeping things private in a bad way. 883 00:48:03.720 --> 00:48:06.960 We have zero accountability. We're meeting strangers on the internet. 884 00:48:06.960 --> 00:48:12.680 And that is, so ghosting is not just a character flaw. It is, it happens because people can. 885 00:48:13.760 --> 00:48:15.720 People can do it. 886 00:48:15.760 --> 00:48:20.240 Now, does everyone deserve an exit speech when you don't want to talk to them anymore? No. 887 00:48:21.720 --> 00:48:26.000 Do you have to give them a PowerPoint presentation about why you're not a good match? No. 888 00:48:27.720 --> 00:48:29.720 But you can at least 889 00:48:29.840 --> 00:48:36.080 say goodbye unless they do something offensive and crude and then you can just, you know, bless them and block them. 890 00:48:37.760 --> 00:48:39.760 Gentlemen, you too. 891 00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:43.360 A girl sends you a booby pic, you can just bless her and block her. 892 00:48:43.360 --> 00:48:47.320 You don't have to tell her why that's wrong and how she should have more respect for herself. 893 00:48:47.720 --> 00:48:49.880 Well, we're always talking about the penis pics. 894 00:48:49.880 --> 00:48:53.600 We should probably get a booty, a booby pic or a booty pic in there for the guys. 895 00:48:53.760 --> 00:48:55.880 Because it's not like it doesn't happen because it does. 896 00:48:56.680 --> 00:48:58.680 There are girls that do that kind of stuff. 897 00:48:58.680 --> 00:49:03.120 They have OnlyFans accounts and things and they're on dating apps trying to attract customers. 898 00:49:04.040 --> 00:49:08.160 It's true. It's real. Or they think that men just like them for their bodies. 899 00:49:08.160 --> 00:49:13.080 And so if they like you and they want you to like them back, then they're gonna do something like that. Bottom line is, 900 00:49:13.640 --> 00:49:15.640 is that it does happen. 901 00:49:16.160 --> 00:49:19.400 And so you can bless them and block them. You don't need to preach to them. 902 00:49:19.400 --> 00:49:23.640 You don't need to try to convert them to your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. You can just move on. 903 00:49:26.360 --> 00:49:28.360 But at the same time, 904 00:49:29.000 --> 00:49:33.080 you should always give someone a kind response if you know, it's not a match. Hey, 905 00:49:33.680 --> 00:49:40.920 thanks for matching with me. I've enjoyed the couple conversations we've had, but I see that, you know, we have some 906 00:49:41.360 --> 00:49:43.880 deal breakers or some incompatibilities already. 907 00:49:43.880 --> 00:49:49.320 And so I just, I hope you find what you're looking for and we can give you some scripts if you're really bad at this. 908 00:49:49.320 --> 00:49:53.080 But you should always do that. You don't have to go someone. You don't have to just stop talking to them. 909 00:49:53.080 --> 00:49:55.880 Especially if you've had two or three conversations with them. 910 00:49:56.440 --> 00:49:59.200 Now if all you've ever said is, hey, hey. 911 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.380 How's your day? How's your day? 912 00:50:02.380 --> 00:50:05.220 You don't need to give them a, 913 00:50:05.220 --> 00:50:07.260 we're not compatible. 914 00:50:07.260 --> 00:50:08.880 It's only if you've actually had 915 00:50:08.880 --> 00:50:10.180 conversations with each other 916 00:50:10.180 --> 00:50:11.800 that you want to go ahead and say that. 917 00:50:11.800 --> 00:50:13.880 Remember, by the end of this five weeks, 918 00:50:13.880 --> 00:50:15.140 you're going to know really quickly 919 00:50:15.140 --> 00:50:16.980 who's compatible and who's not. 920 00:50:16.980 --> 00:50:19.320 You're going to have laser focus, 921 00:50:19.320 --> 00:50:21.980 and that's what's going to help you be successful. 922 00:50:21.980 --> 00:50:26.100 You guys. The comparison trap is rigged. 923 00:50:26.100 --> 00:50:28.120 These dating apps are full of people and 924 00:50:28.120 --> 00:50:29.960 their filters and people trying to put 925 00:50:29.960 --> 00:50:31.640 their best foot forward and people saying 926 00:50:31.640 --> 00:50:33.000 things about themselves that are not 927 00:50:33.000 --> 00:50:34.880 true or things that they don't even mean. 928 00:50:34.880 --> 00:50:36.000 Lying about their age, 929 00:50:36.000 --> 00:50:37.380 lying about their height, 930 00:50:37.380 --> 00:50:39.540 talking about what they think is going to make 931 00:50:39.540 --> 00:50:41.540 them the most favorable candidate, 932 00:50:41.540 --> 00:50:43.000 applying for the job. 933 00:50:43.000 --> 00:50:44.960 We've all embellished 934 00:50:44.960 --> 00:50:47.600 ourselves a little bit on our resumes, haven't we? 935 00:50:47.600 --> 00:50:50.100 Haven't we embellished ourselves? 936 00:50:50.100 --> 00:50:52.680 Back in the day, you know that 937 00:50:52.680 --> 00:50:55.480 you weren't a Windows expert, you know Windows. 938 00:50:55.480 --> 00:50:57.020 You knew a couple of shortcuts, 939 00:50:57.020 --> 00:50:58.900 maybe you could push a few buttons, 940 00:50:58.920 --> 00:51:01.760 but you probably couldn't type 200 words a minute. 941 00:51:01.760 --> 00:51:03.220 I mean, come on. 942 00:51:03.220 --> 00:51:06.220 All right. We've embellished a little here and there. 943 00:51:06.220 --> 00:51:07.680 That's what people do because these are 944 00:51:07.680 --> 00:51:09.800 kind of dating resumes, aren't they? 945 00:51:09.800 --> 00:51:12.720 We don't need to apply for the job anymore. 946 00:51:12.720 --> 00:51:15.280 We're not going to be doing that as we go forward. 947 00:51:15.280 --> 00:51:16.680 Okay. All right. 948 00:51:16.680 --> 00:51:17.860 Then if you do find someone on 949 00:51:17.860 --> 00:51:19.520 these apps that you're actually interested in, 950 00:51:19.520 --> 00:51:23.120 a lot of times people are just like rushing in really quickly. 951 00:51:23.120 --> 00:51:24.520 Your pacing isn't good, 952 00:51:24.520 --> 00:51:26.980 you're sharing too much too quick, 953 00:51:27.200 --> 00:51:29.780 you're trying to create emotional chemistry, 954 00:51:29.780 --> 00:51:32.320 and then by the time you see the person in real life, 955 00:51:32.320 --> 00:51:33.960 you're not even interested in them. 956 00:51:33.960 --> 00:51:35.000 So we'll talk about that. 957 00:51:35.000 --> 00:51:36.200 We'll talk about long distance. 958 00:51:36.200 --> 00:51:37.640 We'll talk about all of that when we get 959 00:51:37.640 --> 00:51:40.040 to chemistry and compatibility. 960 00:51:40.040 --> 00:51:41.440 Right. So I want to talk a little bit 961 00:51:41.440 --> 00:51:43.620 about the village that we lost. 962 00:51:43.620 --> 00:51:44.860 This is chapter four. 963 00:51:45.880 --> 00:51:47.480 What did you guys think of this? 964 00:51:48.840 --> 00:51:51.920 What did you guys think about Dana and Marcus's story? 965 00:51:51.920 --> 00:51:54.540 What did you think about connecting the dots? 966 00:51:55.320 --> 00:51:58.520 That is really the thesis of this entire book, 967 00:51:58.520 --> 00:52:00.440 is to help us bring back our villages. 968 00:52:00.440 --> 00:52:01.620 Did you guys love it? 969 00:52:02.640 --> 00:52:04.960 The six degrees of separation in your love life, 970 00:52:04.960 --> 00:52:06.300 is that not powerful? 971 00:52:09.840 --> 00:52:11.120 It's powerful. 972 00:52:11.120 --> 00:52:13.560 And you guys have seen it as a matchmaker. 973 00:52:13.560 --> 00:52:16.040 Every time anyone finds someone, 974 00:52:16.040 --> 00:52:19.180 anytime anyone's matched or anytime anyone meets someone, 975 00:52:19.180 --> 00:52:21.180 because they meet them in our community 976 00:52:21.180 --> 00:52:22.660 or in our extended community, 977 00:52:22.660 --> 00:52:24.240 when we play the tapes back, 978 00:52:24.940 --> 00:52:27.300 we always see that they were already connected. 979 00:52:27.300 --> 00:52:28.380 They were already connected 980 00:52:28.380 --> 00:52:30.140 within six degrees of separation. 981 00:52:30.140 --> 00:52:31.780 That means somebody knows somebody 982 00:52:31.780 --> 00:52:34.460 that knows somebody that knows your spirit mate. 983 00:52:34.460 --> 00:52:36.340 Already right now, somebody that you know 984 00:52:36.340 --> 00:52:39.300 is already connected to the person 985 00:52:39.300 --> 00:52:41.140 that you're going to marry someday. 986 00:52:41.140 --> 00:52:42.220 I've never seen it. 987 00:52:42.220 --> 00:52:44.660 I've never seen anyone marry a stranger. 988 00:52:44.660 --> 00:52:46.120 Yeah, they didn't know them, 989 00:52:46.120 --> 00:52:47.660 but someone they knew, knew them. 990 00:52:47.660 --> 00:52:49.860 Or someone they knew, knew someone who knew them. 991 00:52:49.860 --> 00:52:51.460 Every single time. 992 00:52:52.280 --> 00:52:54.600 Every single time, friends. 993 00:52:54.600 --> 00:52:56.260 I've never seen it not be true. 994 00:52:58.700 --> 00:52:59.880 Okay? 995 00:52:59.880 --> 00:53:01.480 Does that make you feel excited? 996 00:53:03.680 --> 00:53:05.760 I feel like that should make you feel hopeful. 997 00:53:05.760 --> 00:53:08.120 Put in the chat if that makes you feel hopeful. 998 00:53:22.460 --> 00:53:23.720 Okay. 999 00:53:23.720 --> 00:53:26.020 Now, I went into the app 1000 00:53:26.020 --> 00:53:27.600 and I answered all of your questions. 1001 00:53:27.600 --> 00:53:29.580 Everyone who had a question there that I could see, 1002 00:53:29.580 --> 00:53:31.440 I answered your questions. 1003 00:53:31.440 --> 00:53:33.120 Some of you are asking me dating questions. 1004 00:53:33.120 --> 00:53:36.480 You're not even asking me questions based on the content, 1005 00:53:36.480 --> 00:53:37.320 but that's okay. 1006 00:53:37.320 --> 00:53:38.400 I still answered them. 1007 00:53:38.400 --> 00:53:41.480 I answered the questions that I saw also in the Facebook. 1008 00:53:41.480 --> 00:53:43.920 I'll go through tonight and make sure I didn't miss any, 1009 00:53:43.920 --> 00:53:45.320 because I'm giving you coaching, guys, 1010 00:53:45.320 --> 00:53:47.560 not just here, but there as well. 1011 00:53:47.560 --> 00:53:48.800 And that's why I want you to make sure 1012 00:53:48.800 --> 00:53:50.160 whatever new thing you try, 1013 00:53:50.160 --> 00:53:53.300 make sure you put it in the app or in the Facebook community 1014 00:53:53.300 --> 00:53:54.660 because I want to see it. 1015 00:53:54.660 --> 00:53:56.860 But a lot of you, I saw you said that 1016 00:53:56.860 --> 00:53:58.340 when you got to chapter four, 1017 00:53:58.340 --> 00:53:59.740 you felt a little bit sad 1018 00:53:59.740 --> 00:54:03.900 because you don't have a dating advisory committee. 1019 00:54:03.900 --> 00:54:06.760 You can't figure out who would be on that, 1020 00:54:07.820 --> 00:54:10.060 in that circle, that dating advisory circle. 1021 00:54:10.060 --> 00:54:12.220 You don't have that circle in your life. 1022 00:54:12.220 --> 00:54:14.860 And so that is going to be the theme of tonight's breakout. 1023 00:54:14.860 --> 00:54:18.780 I'm about to give you your dating advisory circle. 1024 00:54:20.380 --> 00:54:24.020 I'm about to give them to you, all right? 1025 00:54:24.020 --> 00:54:26.600 Now, if you have some in your life already, that's great. 1026 00:54:26.600 --> 00:54:29.300 But whoever you get into your circle with tonight, 1027 00:54:29.300 --> 00:54:31.580 I want to make sure that you exchange phone numbers, 1028 00:54:31.580 --> 00:54:33.680 that you get into each other's lives, 1029 00:54:33.680 --> 00:54:35.540 have a phone call, talk to each other. 1030 00:54:35.540 --> 00:54:37.580 If you live near enough to get together in person, 1031 00:54:37.580 --> 00:54:38.820 wonderful, amazing. 1032 00:54:38.820 --> 00:54:42.460 But the whole important part of your advisory circle 1033 00:54:42.460 --> 00:54:44.540 are people that have the same teaching as you, 1034 00:54:44.540 --> 00:54:46.540 have the same foundation as you. 1035 00:54:46.540 --> 00:54:48.540 They know what you need, know what you want, 1036 00:54:48.560 --> 00:54:50.320 because you've allowed them to get to know you. 1037 00:54:50.320 --> 00:54:51.300 Now, don't worry. 1038 00:54:51.300 --> 00:54:53.160 We're going to do some work later on in the book club 1039 00:54:53.160 --> 00:54:54.760 where you're going to have exactly what you need 1040 00:54:54.760 --> 00:54:56.800 to give them about what your non-negotiables are, 1041 00:54:56.800 --> 00:54:58.960 what are your deal breakers, what are your preferences? 1042 00:54:58.960 --> 00:55:00.960 We're going to do that work a little bit later. 1043 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.000 So you'll have that to give to them 1044 00:55:02.720 --> 00:55:08.240 Right now we just need to find them. And so you can add these few people to what you already have and 1045 00:55:09.400 --> 00:55:13.600 You know and or if you meet someone else in here, you can do it, you know as well 1046 00:55:13.600 --> 00:55:17.040 But I want to give you a chance to get to know each other 1047 00:55:17.080 --> 00:55:21.320 So what you're gonna do is is you're gonna get into this breakout. You're gonna share your scripts with each other 1048 00:55:21.320 --> 00:55:25.960 What were the scripts that came up? You can share how many hours you found out you've been on dating apps 1049 00:55:26.360 --> 00:55:31.440 All right, you can share your biggest aha from the book so far whatever you want 1050 00:55:31.600 --> 00:55:38.200 You just need to get to know each other and find out what each other's names are on Facebook or other forms of social media 1051 00:55:39.080 --> 00:55:44.600 So that you can connect with each other outside of this book club. Okay. All right 1052 00:55:45.560 --> 00:55:50.040 All right, your cat does not count and she cannot match make you 1053 00:55:51.000 --> 00:55:53.000 Can't match make you 1054 00:55:54.000 --> 00:55:59.760 Some of you all literally this book club is going to save you from becoming the cat man or lady 1055 00:56:03.000 --> 00:56:10.760 Some of you are gonna match make each other that's gonna happen. All right, let's go. All right, I'm gonna create the breakout rooms 1056 00:56:12.840 --> 00:56:19.760 I'm going to include our co-host Cheryl go young in our breakouts because she is also single and ready to mingle and so I'm gonna 1057 00:56:19.920 --> 00:56:21.920 Include her so she can get her advisory 1058 00:56:22.680 --> 00:56:24.680 Circle going as well 1059 00:56:24.760 --> 00:56:32.400 Make sure that you also share your name your age your state your country all the things. Okay. All right 1060 00:56:34.240 --> 00:56:36.360 I'm gonna put three to four people in a room 1061 00:56:40.920 --> 00:56:43.800 Some of you are gonna have guys in your room guys 1062 00:56:43.800 --> 00:56:50.800 You're definitely gonna have women in your room women make great wing woman great wing wing women. It's gonna be great. All right 1063 00:56:51.920 --> 00:56:53.920 we have a hundred and 1064 00:56:54.520 --> 00:56:56.520 52 folks here tonight with us right now 1065 00:56:57.080 --> 00:56:59.760 If you're watching this and replay do not fear 1066 00:56:59.760 --> 00:57:06.240 I will put up a post in the group that allows you to find some advisory circle members as well. So don't you worry now? 1067 00:57:06.880 --> 00:57:09.120 Don't you worry baby? I got you 1068 00:57:10.120 --> 00:57:12.120 All right. I 1069 00:57:12.640 --> 00:57:14.640 Think that that it's good 1070 00:57:14.640 --> 00:57:16.640 You 1071 00:57:21.240 --> 00:57:23.520 I'm just waiting for it to shift. Okay, there it is 1072 00:57:25.320 --> 00:57:28.880 There we go, all right. Bye guys have fun in your groups 1073 00:57:44.640 --> 00:57:46.640 Oh 1074 00:58:04.720 --> 00:58:11.400 I got kicked out of room 13. I'm so sorry. All right Audra. Hold on one second 1075 00:58:14.640 --> 00:58:16.640 I'm gonna find you 1076 00:58:20.720 --> 00:58:22.520 Audra 1077 00:58:22.520 --> 00:58:25.120 Move to 13. Yep 1078 00:58:26.680 --> 00:58:31.040 Huh says there is no room 13. Oh well that I had it wrong 1079 00:58:31.800 --> 00:58:34.960 Well, I'll put me anywhere. I'm gonna what's your favorite number? Oh 1080 00:58:36.040 --> 00:58:38.040 great, um 1081 00:58:38.800 --> 00:58:40.800 What a decision 1082 00:58:41.600 --> 00:58:43.600 Too many decisions 1083 00:58:43.880 --> 00:58:48.800 I don't know. I'm starting to sweat 33. How about 33? Okay, hold on 1084 00:58:56.720 --> 00:58:58.720 All right, here we go 1085 00:59:08.640 --> 00:59:10.640 I don't think I'm in a room either 1086 00:59:11.200 --> 00:59:17.600 Where are you? Who are you? Oh, you're Debbie. Okay. My name is Debbie. Sorry. I'm driving in my car. Oh, you're in your car 1087 00:59:17.600 --> 00:59:19.600 Oh, that's probably why okay. Oh 1088 00:59:20.800 --> 00:59:27.240 We have okay. Hold on a second Debbie. I'm gonna try but it may or may not do it. So let's just see. Okay 1089 00:59:30.600 --> 00:59:35.600 Don't worry guys. Yeah, I got you. All right, Debbie. I'm a see if it'll put you in there 1090 00:59:37.240 --> 00:59:39.240 I 1091 00:59:39.240 --> 00:59:43.840 See y'all hold on a second. I'm getting there 1092 01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:11.920 Nancy, I'm about to put you in a room. 1093 01:00:11.920 --> 01:00:14.200 You got to hit that yes button. 1094 01:00:14.200 --> 01:00:19.680 You have to hit the button that says, yes, take me to the room. 1095 01:00:19.680 --> 01:00:29.960 Okay, all right, Gina, you're up. 1096 01:00:29.960 --> 01:00:37.560 Well, I got booted out of room nine. 1097 01:00:37.560 --> 01:00:40.360 Okay, I'm putting you back. 1098 01:00:40.360 --> 01:00:42.360 Oh, thanks, Jackie. 1099 01:00:42.360 --> 01:00:43.360 Yep. 1100 01:01:13.360 --> 01:01:26.320 Okay, all right, for those of you that are still in here, we have, if you could just 1101 01:01:26.320 --> 01:01:32.880 come on camera, we have Pamela, Manuela, Gina, if you guys could just come on camera and 1102 01:01:32.880 --> 01:01:37.160 be each other's advisory circle, because if for some reason your internet's not letting 1103 01:01:37.160 --> 01:01:38.720 you join a breakout room. 1104 01:01:38.720 --> 01:01:45.400 So just come on camera here, Pamela on camera, Gina, and then I don't know this person's 1105 01:01:45.400 --> 01:01:52.320 name, Jay, Jay, I don't even know how to say this because I don't sound things out well. 1106 01:01:52.320 --> 01:01:57.320 So come on camera and you guys could go ahead and have a conversation right here. 1107 01:01:57.320 --> 01:01:58.820 This will not be part of the replay. 1108 01:01:58.820 --> 01:02:03.200 This part gets cut out anyway, so don't worry about that. 1109 01:02:03.200 --> 01:02:16.560 And you guys can go ahead and be each other's advisory circle. 1110 01:02:16.560 --> 01:02:17.560 Are you guys here? 1111 01:02:17.560 --> 01:02:18.560 Pamela, Gina? 1112 01:02:18.560 --> 01:02:24.480 All right, I don't know if anyone's here, Manuela, so I'm going to try to put you in 1113 01:02:24.480 --> 01:02:26.640 a room. 1114 01:02:26.640 --> 01:02:32.480 So let's see if it works. 1115 01:02:32.480 --> 01:02:34.600 Hit the yes button to go to the room. 1116 01:02:34.600 --> 01:02:35.600 Hit the... 1117 01:02:35.600 --> 01:02:36.600 Okay. 1118 01:02:36.600 --> 01:02:37.600 All right. 1119 01:03:07.600 --> 01:03:21.480 Okay, Pamela, I see your message. 1120 01:03:21.480 --> 01:03:33.200 Can you talk? 1121 01:03:33.200 --> 01:03:41.840 I'm trying to help you on my side. 1122 01:03:41.840 --> 01:03:46.040 This is something with your Zoom, just so you know, so we'll have to figure that out. 1123 01:03:46.040 --> 01:04:07.480 I'm going to try to move you into a room and see if it helps. 1124 01:04:38.480 --> 01:05:01.480 Marsha, go ahead and hit yes. 1125 01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.000 You 1126 01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:32.000 You 1127 01:06:00.000 --> 01:06:02.000 You 1128 01:06:30.000 --> 01:06:32.000 You 1129 01:06:45.040 --> 01:06:47.040 Grace what room did you get kicked out of? 1130 01:06:53.720 --> 01:06:55.720 Grace can you hear me? 1131 01:07:00.000 --> 01:07:02.000 You 1132 01:07:09.600 --> 01:07:12.380 Can you just type in the chat which room did you get kicked out of? 1133 01:07:14.600 --> 01:07:16.600 Did you get kicked out of a room 1134 01:07:18.000 --> 01:07:20.000 Okay, sounds good 1135 01:07:30.000 --> 01:07:32.000 You 1136 01:08:00.000 --> 01:08:02.000 You 1137 01:08:20.479 --> 01:08:28.000 Okay, everybody we're going to wrap up in about 60 seconds so go ahead and finish up and we're going to close the rooms 1138 01:08:30.000 --> 01:08:32.000 You 1139 01:09:00.000 --> 01:09:02.000 You 1140 01:09:30.000 --> 01:09:32.000 You 1141 01:09:57.560 --> 01:09:58.440 Okay, everybody 1142 01:09:58.440 --> 01:10:00.440 If you could just end your session and come 1143 01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.160 Back into the group session. It's not allowing me to close the rooms. So just come on. Go ahead and head on back. 1144 01:10:05.160 --> 01:10:30.160 All right, here we go. 1145 01:10:30.160 --> 01:10:54.160 All right, here we go. 1146 01:10:54.160 --> 01:11:22.160 All right, here we go. 1147 01:11:22.160 --> 01:11:34.160 All right, we're going to wrap up now. 1148 01:11:34.160 --> 01:11:37.160 I'm just waiting. All the rooms are closing in 42 seconds. 1149 01:11:37.160 --> 01:11:43.160 Everyone's coming out. 1150 01:11:43.160 --> 01:11:55.160 All the breakout rooms will be closed in 32 seconds. 1151 01:11:55.160 --> 01:12:00.160 You guys have fun tonight? 1152 01:12:00.160 --> 01:12:02.160 Yes, I did. 1153 01:12:02.160 --> 01:12:04.160 Jackie, do you? 1154 01:12:04.160 --> 01:12:06.160 Can I talk? 1155 01:12:06.160 --> 01:12:07.160 Can I ask a question? 1156 01:12:07.160 --> 01:12:09.160 I don't know. 1157 01:12:09.160 --> 01:12:11.160 May I? 1158 01:12:11.160 --> 01:12:17.160 Are our adult children, should they be in the circle or not? What's your take? 1159 01:12:17.160 --> 01:12:31.160 I mean, if they really know you and they're reliable and you don't mind sharing your deepest, darkest secrets and hearts and wants and desires with them, I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all. 1160 01:12:31.160 --> 01:12:36.160 Gail asked a good question, so I'm just going to go over quickly over the criteria. 1161 01:12:36.160 --> 01:12:43.160 Your advisors, they must meet all four of these things in order to become part of your advisory circle. 1162 01:12:43.160 --> 01:12:50.160 They have to know you well, not just the highlight reel of you, not just the ideal self, but the real self. 1163 01:12:50.160 --> 01:12:56.160 And they have to be, and this is where your adult kids may not feel at liberty to kind of call you out. 1164 01:12:56.160 --> 01:13:00.160 The people in your advisory circle have to be able to call you out. 1165 01:13:00.160 --> 01:13:07.160 They have to be people that you can take criticism from, constructive criticism and feedback from. 1166 01:13:07.160 --> 01:13:20.160 They have to be someone that you would take seriously if they said to you, hey, I don't think that's a healthy relationship, or I saw some yellow flags here, or even I saw a red flag here with this person that you're dating or talking to. 1167 01:13:21.160 --> 01:13:26.160 They have to be people that are invested in seeing you successful in your life. 1168 01:13:26.160 --> 01:13:30.160 No one who's jealous of you, no frenemies in this circle. 1169 01:13:30.160 --> 01:13:35.160 Also, no negative Nellies in this circle, people that haven't done the heart work. 1170 01:13:35.160 --> 01:13:37.160 They don't belong here either, because guess what? 1171 01:13:37.160 --> 01:13:41.160 They're going to see a devil behind every bush in your dating life, aren't they? 1172 01:13:41.160 --> 01:13:45.160 They're going to always be trying to tell you about what's wrong with someone. 1173 01:13:45.160 --> 01:13:51.160 They're always going to be seeing red flags, and so if they're not healthy, then they shouldn't be part of this circle either. 1174 01:13:51.160 --> 01:13:56.160 Now, if they're happily married, that's even better for them to be part of the circle. 1175 01:13:56.160 --> 01:13:59.160 Married people make the best matchmakers, in my opinion. 1176 01:13:59.160 --> 01:14:11.160 So the more married folks you can get in your advisory circle that are social, you want extroverts in your advisory circle, or at least people that have meaningful friendships and relationships, people that know a lot of people. 1177 01:14:11.160 --> 01:14:13.160 Those are the kind of people you know. 1178 01:14:13.160 --> 01:14:20.160 If you have someone in your advisory circle that just knows their cat, they're not going to be able to help you very much. 1179 01:14:20.160 --> 01:14:26.160 No offense to that person, but you need people that know people. 1180 01:14:26.160 --> 01:14:27.160 That's the whole point. 1181 01:14:27.160 --> 01:14:33.160 And you don't want people in your advisory circle that know all the same people as you, because you already know those people. 1182 01:14:33.160 --> 01:14:37.160 So you need people that have different circles of influence than you do. 1183 01:14:37.160 --> 01:14:38.160 People that are honest with you. 1184 01:14:38.160 --> 01:14:39.160 They're not just kind. 1185 01:14:39.160 --> 01:14:41.160 They don't just tell you what you want to hear. 1186 01:14:41.160 --> 01:14:43.160 They're honest with you. 1187 01:14:43.160 --> 01:14:45.160 They have networks that are different from yours. 1188 01:14:45.160 --> 01:14:46.160 They know you well. 1189 01:14:46.160 --> 01:14:48.160 They're able to be honest with you. 1190 01:14:48.160 --> 01:14:53.160 They have different networks than yours, and you trust them enough to be vulnerable with them. 1191 01:14:53.160 --> 01:15:00.160 I'm trying to give you guys some community and some friends in here in case you don't have any, but if you met anyone in this breakout room, 1192 01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.120 room and it's not really, it's not really a click, like you don't really, you didn't 1193 01:15:04.120 --> 01:15:05.120 like their energy. 1194 01:15:05.120 --> 01:15:06.120 You didn't like their vibe. 1195 01:15:06.120 --> 01:15:08.280 You don't have to make them part of your advisory circle. 1196 01:15:08.280 --> 01:15:12.600 You don't have to give them your phone number and you don't have to let them into your inner 1197 01:15:12.600 --> 01:15:13.600 circle. 1198 01:15:13.600 --> 01:15:14.600 Okay. 1199 01:15:14.600 --> 01:15:18.480 I'm just trying to help you because too many of you said that you don't know anyone and 1200 01:15:18.480 --> 01:15:20.320 that you don't have any friends. 1201 01:15:20.320 --> 01:15:23.960 And that's part of the reason why you're single. 1202 01:15:23.960 --> 01:15:25.500 Good people know good people. 1203 01:15:25.500 --> 01:15:30.100 And so it's time for you to meet some good people and, and get, and get to know them. 1204 01:15:30.100 --> 01:15:31.100 Okay. 1205 01:15:31.100 --> 01:15:32.100 All right. 1206 01:15:32.100 --> 01:15:36.300 So we're going to talk about, uh, what you're going to give them to match you on or to be 1207 01:15:36.300 --> 01:15:37.820 looking out for you. 1208 01:15:37.820 --> 01:15:43.160 You guys, I just heard from one of my longtime students who got matched by another success 1209 01:15:43.160 --> 01:15:46.780 story here in my last year, single community. 1210 01:15:46.780 --> 01:15:53.700 And the reason why is because I had a Christmas card challenge this, this, uh, winter in December. 1211 01:15:53.820 --> 01:15:56.020 I made it a Christmas card template. 1212 01:15:56.020 --> 01:16:01.340 And instead of saying Merry Christmas, I had them use it as their dating resume and to 1213 01:16:01.340 --> 01:16:02.580 put it up. 1214 01:16:02.580 --> 01:16:04.800 And this client took that challenge. 1215 01:16:04.800 --> 01:16:10.540 And one of my other students saw their card and said, Hey, my husband's coworker would 1216 01:16:10.540 --> 01:16:11.540 be perfect for you. 1217 01:16:11.540 --> 01:16:12.540 And guess what? 1218 01:16:12.540 --> 01:16:13.540 They're getting married now. 1219 01:16:13.540 --> 01:16:14.540 All right. 1220 01:16:14.540 --> 01:16:18.660 So once again, you need a circle, you need friends, you need people that care about your 1221 01:16:18.660 --> 01:16:19.660 love life. 1222 01:16:19.660 --> 01:16:20.700 It's really important. 1223 01:16:20.700 --> 01:16:24.340 So raise your hand if you're not part of my last year, single community, you used to 1224 01:16:24.340 --> 01:16:25.340 be or not. 1225 01:16:25.340 --> 01:16:26.340 Now you never have been. 1226 01:16:26.340 --> 01:16:30.720 You're part of the book club, but you're not part of the last year, single community. 1227 01:16:30.720 --> 01:16:31.720 Raise your hand. 1228 01:16:31.720 --> 01:16:35.860 Let me see all those hands right now. 1229 01:16:35.860 --> 01:16:36.860 Get them up. 1230 01:16:36.860 --> 01:16:37.860 Get them up. 1231 01:16:37.860 --> 01:16:38.860 Get them up. 1232 01:16:38.860 --> 01:16:39.860 Get them up. 1233 01:16:39.860 --> 01:16:40.860 There's 13 hands up. 1234 01:16:40.860 --> 01:16:41.860 14. 1235 01:16:41.860 --> 01:16:42.860 Keep going. 1236 01:16:42.860 --> 01:16:52.860 Give me a few more seconds to get all your hands up. 1237 01:16:52.860 --> 01:16:53.860 We're about to stop. 1238 01:16:53.860 --> 01:16:56.340 For those of you that are what, when it's going to be over, it's going to be over in 1239 01:16:56.340 --> 01:16:59.300 the next nine minutes. 1240 01:16:59.300 --> 01:17:01.740 Okay. 1241 01:17:01.740 --> 01:17:02.740 Hands are still going up. 1242 01:17:02.740 --> 01:17:04.820 People are getting their hands up pretty slow. 1243 01:17:04.820 --> 01:17:10.100 The question Chrissy was, if you're not part of last year, single community, you're just 1244 01:17:10.100 --> 01:17:11.100 in the book club. 1245 01:17:11.100 --> 01:17:18.500 If you're not part of my membership community for singles, put your hand up. 1246 01:17:18.500 --> 01:17:23.300 Okay. 1247 01:17:23.300 --> 01:17:27.060 Somewhere around 21 of the 154 people in here. 1248 01:17:27.060 --> 01:17:31.460 Remember you have an opportunity to join last year, single for $37 at the end of the book 1249 01:17:31.460 --> 01:17:32.460 club. 1250 01:17:32.460 --> 01:17:34.820 You can go ahead and jump in now if you want to. 1251 01:17:34.820 --> 01:17:39.820 All you have to do is, I think there's a link for you to join that. 1252 01:17:39.820 --> 01:17:43.180 If not, you can just email us at admin at JackieDorman.com. 1253 01:17:43.180 --> 01:17:49.380 If you're ready to jump in now, once again, it won't be overwhelmed to be in the community 1254 01:17:49.380 --> 01:17:52.220 and also be in the book club because most of the people in the book club are in the 1255 01:17:52.220 --> 01:17:53.220 community. 1256 01:17:53.220 --> 01:17:55.020 I want you to have an advisory circle. 1257 01:17:55.020 --> 01:17:57.700 I want you to know people that care about your love life. 1258 01:17:57.700 --> 01:18:00.820 I want you to have people that clap when you win. 1259 01:18:00.820 --> 01:18:05.860 You need to have this in your life because if you don't have this in your life, then 1260 01:18:05.860 --> 01:18:10.860 is part of the reason why you're single because the six degrees of separation is real. 1261 01:18:10.860 --> 01:18:16.220 If you don't have six people to be six degrees separated with, then that's a problem. 1262 01:18:16.220 --> 01:18:20.140 We've got to get out of isolation and get into community. 1263 01:18:20.140 --> 01:18:22.600 Community based matchmaking is God's way of matchmaking. 1264 01:18:22.600 --> 01:18:24.460 It's God's plan for your love life. 1265 01:18:24.460 --> 01:18:27.740 It's been the way for your love life since the beginning of time and we've got to bring 1266 01:18:27.740 --> 01:18:28.740 it back. 1267 01:18:28.740 --> 01:18:29.800 We're bringing back the village. 1268 01:18:29.800 --> 01:18:32.620 That's what this week's teaching was all about. 1269 01:18:32.620 --> 01:18:34.020 I hope you met someone cool. 1270 01:18:34.020 --> 01:18:38.900 If you have met even one person in your group that you feel like you could be tight and 1271 01:18:38.900 --> 01:18:43.860 friends with and you could be confidants with and you could share with and you could help 1272 01:18:43.860 --> 01:18:48.980 each other, um, pray for each other, then that's a success for today. 1273 01:18:48.980 --> 01:18:55.480 I will also put a post up in the app and also in the Facebook group so that people can find 1274 01:18:55.480 --> 01:18:57.060 each other there as well. 1275 01:18:57.060 --> 01:18:58.060 Okay. 1276 01:18:58.060 --> 01:18:59.060 All right. 1277 01:18:59.060 --> 01:19:00.920 Thank you so much for joining me tonight. 1278 01:19:00.920 --> 01:19:05.240 Your homework is to try something new and to report back in the app or in the Facebook 1279 01:19:05.240 --> 01:19:06.240 group. 1280 01:19:06.240 --> 01:19:07.920 Tell us what it is. 1281 01:19:07.920 --> 01:19:11.480 Also I want you to tell me who's in your advisory circle. 1282 01:19:11.480 --> 01:19:13.560 Who is in your advisory circle? 1283 01:19:13.560 --> 01:19:15.400 Create a post about that. 1284 01:19:15.400 --> 01:19:18.200 Who meets these four criteria in your life? 1285 01:19:18.200 --> 01:19:21.020 They know you well, they're able to be honest with you. 1286 01:19:21.020 --> 01:19:24.360 You can be vulnerable with them and they have different networks than you. 1287 01:19:24.360 --> 01:19:25.740 Who meets that criteria? 1288 01:19:25.740 --> 01:19:31.300 If you haven't asked them to be part of your advisory circle, then ask them this week and 1289 01:19:31.300 --> 01:19:32.300 go ahead. 1290 01:19:32.300 --> 01:19:33.780 The, the new homework is up. 1291 01:19:33.780 --> 01:19:37.700 The new reading assignments up, everything's up in the app and I'll see you on the flip 1292 01:19:37.700 --> 01:19:38.700 side. 1293 01:19:38.700 --> 01:19:39.700 All right. 1294 01:19:39.700 --> 01:19:40.700 See you soon. 1295 01:19:40.700 --> 01:19:41.700 Bye everybody. 1296 01:19:41.700 --> 01:19:42.700 Thank you, Jackie. 1297 01:19:42.700 --> 01:19:43.700 Bye. 1298 01:19:43.700 --> 01:19:44.700 Thank you. 1299 01:19:44.700 --> 01:19:45.700 Thank you. 1300 01:19:45.700 --> 01:19:49.700 Thank you. 1301 01:19:49.700 --> 01:19:50.700 Have a good week. 1302 01:19:50.700 --> 01:19:53.700 I do love the hat, Jackie. 1303 01:19:53.700 --> 01:19:54.700 Yes. 1304 01:19:54.700 --> 01:19:55.700 So cute. 1305 01:19:55.700 --> 01:19:56.700 Have a good week, everybody. 1306 01:19:56.700 --> 01:19:57.700 Have a good week. 1307 01:19:57.700 --> 01:19:59.700 Bye. 1308 01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.800 Thank you, Jackie. 1309 01:20:30.000 --> 01:20:31.000 Thank you, Jackie. 1310 01:20:31.000 --> 01:20:32.000 Thank you. 1311 01:20:32.000 --> 01:20:33.000 Thank you. 1312 01:20:33.000 --> 01:20:33.000