WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:10.120 All right, it's June 8th already, men's heart check-in, Mike leading, David Dorman praying 2 00:00:10.120 --> 00:00:13.840 for you, we love you, and we feel better. 3 00:00:13.840 --> 00:00:19.040 And here with the guys, only a couple, it's going to be kind of fun, we're going to do 4 00:00:19.040 --> 00:00:26.000 the Ask Mike segment, because, I don't know, we'll figure something out, but, you guys, 5 00:00:26.720 --> 00:00:32.080 Oh, hey, we've got people coming on, hey, anybody have any, please, please tell me somebody 6 00:00:32.080 --> 00:00:39.120 has some wins, because I could use some good news from people, you know, I would like, 7 00:00:39.120 --> 00:00:47.520 Jesse, it's good to see you, Dan, or questions, like, hey, anything you guys want to explore, 8 00:00:47.520 --> 00:00:53.120 I mean, I have a couple things, but I really would like interaction with you guys, and 9 00:00:53.200 --> 00:00:58.080 to do what you want to do, and talk about what you want to talk about, I'm all for that. 10 00:00:58.640 --> 00:00:59.200 Tim, you there? 11 00:01:02.400 --> 00:01:02.900 Hello. 12 00:01:04.239 --> 00:01:05.280 All right, Jesse, how are you doing? 13 00:01:06.160 --> 00:01:07.360 I'm doing well, how are you? 14 00:01:08.400 --> 00:01:11.520 I'm good, a little tired, but good, happy Monday. 15 00:01:12.640 --> 00:01:13.200 Yeah. 16 00:01:13.200 --> 00:01:13.920 What's new with you? 17 00:01:17.760 --> 00:01:22.480 I mean, I don't know, not a whole lot, I've been busy, on Mondays, I've been coaching 18 00:01:22.480 --> 00:01:27.520 my son's flag football game, so that's why I haven't been around, but that just ended this 19 00:01:27.520 --> 00:01:34.560 on Saturday, on Friday night, so, yeah, I'll hopefully be back on more often, so. 20 00:01:34.560 --> 00:01:38.480 You're rolling in a sick beard, dude, I can't do beards like that, like, I just, 21 00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:40.960 like, I just wanted to give you props, like, you know, like. 22 00:01:41.520 --> 00:01:49.040 Thanks, thanks, yeah, and I think there's, like, an event this weekend in New Jersey with, 23 00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:54.960 with Jackie and David, I think, that's what I have on my calendar. 24 00:01:56.160 --> 00:01:57.120 Do you know anything about that? 25 00:01:58.160 --> 00:02:02.720 Yeah, yeah, it was coming up in June, but I totally forgot what date it was, it's the same. 26 00:02:03.440 --> 00:02:04.480 I think it's just Saturday. 27 00:02:05.360 --> 00:02:11.039 It's the same church area, the same meeting place that they came to in March of last year, 28 00:02:11.039 --> 00:02:11.840 they came to Westview. 29 00:02:12.640 --> 00:02:15.760 Yeah, I was there last year, that's when I first met them. 30 00:02:15.760 --> 00:02:21.680 That's exciting, yeah, I'm not fully sure, I have been out of pocket, I've been in Redding 31 00:02:21.680 --> 00:02:27.440 all weekend, and I've been spending a lot of time, so I haven't, that's why I haven't been 32 00:02:27.440 --> 00:02:32.240 on calls, well, that, and I don't, I really don't want anybody hitting me up on messages. 33 00:02:32.240 --> 00:02:37.600 I guess I could come in as in Chico Montoya and no, like, no camera, but, like, you know, 34 00:02:37.600 --> 00:02:41.920 I had some, I had somebody find me, and I'm like, no, I'm not dating long distance, 35 00:02:41.920 --> 00:02:43.440 and I don't want to crush your heart. 36 00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:46.480 Just put iPhone in the bottom corner. 37 00:02:47.520 --> 00:02:51.440 Yeah, Chico Montoya is so much more fun. 38 00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:56.560 All right, so cool, Jesse, I'm glad that you're coaching, I mean, obviously being a dad is, 39 00:02:56.560 --> 00:02:57.680 like, number one, right? 40 00:02:58.320 --> 00:03:07.120 And Tim, Tim is looking, like, very amazing, like, bro, I love your, you know, how are 41 00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:08.240 you, how are you doing, Mr. Tim? 42 00:03:08.240 --> 00:03:13.680 Oh, you're muted. 43 00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:25.120 All right, you got your studs, dude, I'm like, man, watch out, ladies. 44 00:03:27.920 --> 00:03:34.320 I mean, I wish I could rock a beard like that, man, I'm like, it gets too bad, and I'm trimming 45 00:03:34.320 --> 00:03:34.820 it. 46 00:03:36.720 --> 00:03:38.080 I wish I could unmute for people. 47 00:03:39.280 --> 00:03:43.920 Tim's on, Tim's mutinous right now, he's in mutiny, because he's not, anyways, I just 48 00:03:43.920 --> 00:03:48.400 played, I just, but Mr. Dan, you around, anybody? 49 00:03:49.120 --> 00:03:54.400 So I have something I wanted to run through, but I just want to defer to what you guys 50 00:03:54.400 --> 00:03:54.960 would prefer. 51 00:03:56.000 --> 00:04:01.760 Anybody dating, anybody, anyone want some, where's Andy? 52 00:04:01.760 --> 00:04:02.960 I hope Andy's okay. 53 00:04:02.960 --> 00:04:04.880 Lord Jesus, I just pray you be with Andy. 54 00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:06.580 Amen. 55 00:04:08.080 --> 00:04:09.280 So nothing, guys? 56 00:04:09.280 --> 00:04:10.480 Want to talk, we could talk about. 57 00:04:11.120 --> 00:04:15.360 I mean, I can, I can talk a little bit about, like, what I'm doing this season. 58 00:04:15.360 --> 00:04:25.840 I just really, I did meet a, I did meet a girl that I was really intrigued by the, like, 59 00:04:25.840 --> 00:04:27.360 back in, in May. 60 00:04:29.200 --> 00:04:30.320 What intrigued you about her? 61 00:04:31.200 --> 00:04:35.840 Well, I actually, I met her, like, a year ago, when I first, like, started doing this, 62 00:04:35.840 --> 00:04:37.040 first got on the apps. 63 00:04:37.600 --> 00:04:38.080 Yeah. 64 00:04:38.080 --> 00:04:39.120 I met her through Upword. 65 00:04:39.760 --> 00:04:40.560 Okay, yeah. 66 00:04:40.560 --> 00:04:47.520 And she, we chatted a little bit, and then she's like, you know, I actually met someone 67 00:04:47.520 --> 00:04:50.160 that I want to pursue, so I'm going to get off. 68 00:04:50.960 --> 00:04:53.200 But then she recommended the Holi app. 69 00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:56.800 Prior to, and so, anyhow, that was that. 70 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:07.920 April I was gonna get off the apps and I had like a couple more days left in my 71 00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:13.040 paid subscription to that holy app and then and then I was gonna get off 72 00:05:13.040 --> 00:05:18.720 anyhow I met her I ran into her on that like two days before before I was 73 00:05:18.720 --> 00:05:24.280 getting off and so it was cool to see her again and anyhow it turns out like 74 00:05:24.280 --> 00:05:28.440 she's like a path like she was a pop she was a pastor's wife they planted a 75 00:05:28.440 --> 00:05:35.120 church together mm-hmm and so like we really hit it off well because it's like 76 00:05:35.120 --> 00:05:41.440 we both have like we're both on similar depths in our walk with the Lord and 77 00:05:41.440 --> 00:05:47.560 stuff like that and ministries on my heart and anyhow so and she's really 78 00:05:47.560 --> 00:05:55.920 pretty girl and yeah fun girl and she has raccoons she has a peck which is 79 00:05:55.920 --> 00:06:05.880 funny which is which is a unique anyhow but all I have to say is prior to even 80 00:06:05.880 --> 00:06:10.680 meeting her I felt like the Lord was just like inviting me into a season of 81 00:06:10.680 --> 00:06:19.800 just like me and him and just really locking in on that and so like I kind of 82 00:06:19.800 --> 00:06:24.840 was talking to her about that even when we first met and I and just for the next 83 00:06:24.840 --> 00:06:37.400 couple of weeks like we were talking but I was like yeah anyway through May I'm 84 00:06:37.400 --> 00:06:42.040 just like I need to I just need to do this like I it was great meeting you but 85 00:06:42.040 --> 00:06:47.840 I need something to sign off for now on every thing so I'm just really like 86 00:06:47.840 --> 00:06:53.120 focusing on my relationship with the Lord like I feel like there he just has 87 00:06:53.120 --> 00:06:56.840 invited me to like know him in a deeper way and just trying to take advantage of 88 00:06:56.840 --> 00:07:03.080 the season for what it is like I lost my wife and so I did not ask for this to be 89 00:07:03.080 --> 00:07:10.800 single but there's there's a verse in 1st Corinthians 7 that says he's 90 00:07:10.800 --> 00:07:14.520 talking to married couples he said don't deprive yourselves of one another except 91 00:07:14.520 --> 00:07:20.000 for by agreement for a time for a season so that you might pray you might devote 92 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:24.080 yourselves to prayer and I just feel like the Lord is just has invited me 93 00:07:24.080 --> 00:07:30.800 into that like just just go deep in the season and you know he really made it 94 00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:35.960 clear to me last summer there's a verse in Proverbs says house and wealth are 95 00:07:35.960 --> 00:07:40.560 from fathers but a prudent wife is from the Lord and just in different ways like 96 00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:47.640 he just really like encouraged me that like he is going to be very involved in 97 00:07:47.640 --> 00:07:53.480 me and bringing a woman to me and like in me finding that my wife and not not 98 00:07:53.480 --> 00:07:58.480 to like understand what my part is and also what his part is and that's a 99 00:07:58.480 --> 00:08:03.520 balance the very next verse is like the very next verse in Proverbs verse 15 is 100 00:08:03.520 --> 00:08:09.200 like talking about being lazy and not being lazy so like you know you don't 101 00:08:09.200 --> 00:08:15.960 wait there's a way than the Lord isn't sitting on your butt right I mean I 102 00:08:15.960 --> 00:08:19.920 think I don't know if you guys know that but like when those who went on the 103 00:08:19.920 --> 00:08:25.080 Lord it's an active dealing with him interacting with him being part of the 104 00:08:25.080 --> 00:08:29.520 process right so sorry I just wanted to bring that caveat so yeah it's like 105 00:08:29.520 --> 00:08:35.280 you're waiting on the Lord with the Lord yeah yeah so my tentative deadline is 106 00:08:35.280 --> 00:08:43.720 like my gold time is kind of an odd date but July 5th is kind of what was in my 107 00:08:43.720 --> 00:08:51.640 mind so yeah right the day after yeah you know but like that was that was the 108 00:08:51.640 --> 00:08:57.040 weekend where my divorce was final oh wow which was interesting was um the day 109 00:08:57.040 --> 00:09:03.040 but the week right before the 4th of July sorry so I remember what it was 110 00:09:03.040 --> 00:09:07.640 cuz I was like oh lord you're bringing me to freedom like even though I never 111 00:09:07.640 --> 00:09:15.560 wanted to be free like you're so good to me yeah well and finish something 112 00:09:15.560 --> 00:09:19.400 real quick Mike oh yeah yeah absolutely I just want to say and I don't know if 113 00:09:19.400 --> 00:09:24.920 she had been like in I never met her in person we facetimed and stuff super 114 00:09:24.920 --> 00:09:30.600 pretty girl like I love her personality there's just a lot to like about her the 115 00:09:30.600 --> 00:09:34.280 only the only thing I would say is like she's a little taller than I would 116 00:09:34.280 --> 00:09:40.520 prefer but I mean I'm still taller than her but like it's like an inch difference 117 00:09:40.520 --> 00:09:47.840 and I I don't know my wife was 5'3 I'm 5'8 so so my ex was 5'3 and I actually 118 00:09:47.840 --> 00:09:51.800 realized I like tall ladies that was one of the things I'm going on dates I was 119 00:09:51.800 --> 00:09:56.120 like there was a five-footer and I'm like I don't I didn't realize that was 120 00:09:56.120 --> 00:09:59.800 gonna be a problem for me cuz I'm yeah 121 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:03.720 I mean, and it wasn't a reason why I excluded it, 122 00:10:03.720 --> 00:10:06.780 but I think it is, I just want to say it is valid. 123 00:10:08.080 --> 00:10:11.120 And, but it's also what you're used to. 124 00:10:11.120 --> 00:10:12.080 Right? 125 00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:12.980 Right. 126 00:10:12.980 --> 00:10:13.820 Yeah. 127 00:10:13.820 --> 00:10:14.640 I just found that somebody too short, 128 00:10:14.640 --> 00:10:16.540 you really can't hold hands super well. 129 00:10:21.200 --> 00:10:22.440 All right, yeah, sure. 130 00:10:22.440 --> 00:10:24.820 So no, and you know, Jesse, I think it's, 131 00:10:24.820 --> 00:10:27.840 you guys, it's the Lord that brings the wife. 132 00:10:27.840 --> 00:10:29.280 Well, and let me rephrase it. 133 00:10:30.200 --> 00:10:31.800 The enemy can bring you one too. 134 00:10:33.880 --> 00:10:35.920 But on here we, 135 00:10:35.920 --> 00:10:37.200 The Lord that brings the prudent wife. 136 00:10:37.200 --> 00:10:42.000 And I like to say the father fashioned wife, 137 00:10:42.000 --> 00:10:43.440 the father fashioned. 138 00:10:43.440 --> 00:10:45.640 Yeah, the rib, the bone of your bones. 139 00:10:45.640 --> 00:10:46.480 That's right. 140 00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:47.480 Yeah, yeah. 141 00:10:47.480 --> 00:10:48.400 The right fit. 142 00:10:48.400 --> 00:10:49.480 The right fit. 143 00:10:49.480 --> 00:10:51.840 And so my friend, you know, and Jesse, 144 00:10:51.840 --> 00:10:53.040 one of my friends is like, Mike, 145 00:10:53.040 --> 00:10:54.400 I think you should give up, 146 00:10:54.400 --> 00:10:56.120 get off the apps for a 90 days. 147 00:10:57.080 --> 00:10:59.560 And, and she said it like four times and she, 148 00:11:00.120 --> 00:11:01.080 and this is somebody who I trust. 149 00:11:01.080 --> 00:11:03.680 Like she's in my inner circle 150 00:11:03.680 --> 00:11:05.960 and I could feel the Lord saying, 151 00:11:06.880 --> 00:11:08.400 and then I went to reading this weekend 152 00:11:08.400 --> 00:11:09.960 and it was like, yeah. 153 00:11:09.960 --> 00:11:10.800 But you know, I, 154 00:11:15.600 --> 00:11:17.440 sorry, I'm just testing. 155 00:11:17.440 --> 00:11:20.160 I don't want to release something that's, 156 00:11:20.160 --> 00:11:25.160 but there's a point to getting your house in order 157 00:11:25.600 --> 00:11:27.800 spiritually, physically, getting arrested, 158 00:11:27.800 --> 00:11:28.640 walking in. 159 00:11:28.640 --> 00:11:31.560 So you're, you're the fullness of you, right? 160 00:11:31.560 --> 00:11:35.680 And, and not that I hate doing conditional things 161 00:11:35.680 --> 00:11:38.320 because God can bring anybody at any given time, 162 00:11:38.320 --> 00:11:42.040 but it would make more sense to me that when you're, 163 00:11:42.040 --> 00:11:43.760 you're, when you're refreshed 164 00:11:43.760 --> 00:11:45.040 and you can actually be fully you 165 00:11:45.040 --> 00:11:48.400 and you can fully engage is when I'll bring somebody. 166 00:11:48.400 --> 00:11:51.520 And I know that it's not a law you guys, 167 00:11:51.520 --> 00:11:53.680 but like, but he's a good dad. 168 00:11:53.680 --> 00:11:55.960 And if my son was my son right now, 169 00:11:55.960 --> 00:11:58.120 I'm praying that nobody comes into his life 170 00:11:58.120 --> 00:11:59.720 because he's a fricking train wreck right now. 171 00:11:59.720 --> 00:12:01.920 He can't handle himself, right? 172 00:12:01.920 --> 00:12:02.760 Yeah. 173 00:12:02.760 --> 00:12:06.560 And so, but like, and, 174 00:12:06.560 --> 00:12:07.760 and I'm not saying like, 175 00:12:10.000 --> 00:12:11.840 I just say like, you know, 176 00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:12.800 I was like, well, I don't, 177 00:12:12.800 --> 00:12:14.480 I don't want to do another 90 day fast. 178 00:12:14.480 --> 00:12:15.640 I don't want to get off the apps. 179 00:12:15.640 --> 00:12:17.440 I actually had, I had paid, 180 00:12:17.440 --> 00:12:19.560 you know, I still have subscriptions on them. 181 00:12:19.560 --> 00:12:22.120 Right. And I just can't, so I closed them. 182 00:12:22.120 --> 00:12:24.280 But I might learn, I'll trust you. 183 00:12:24.840 --> 00:12:27.000 I know my friend, he'll hear from him 184 00:12:27.000 --> 00:12:28.440 and then running, I was sitting there 185 00:12:28.440 --> 00:12:30.800 and this dude, it was tested. 186 00:12:30.800 --> 00:12:32.000 Cause one of those guys in writing, 187 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:33.320 one of my friends in writing, he's like, 188 00:12:33.320 --> 00:12:34.960 Hey, there's a couple of single ladies over there. 189 00:12:34.960 --> 00:12:36.440 I want to say, you want to sit with them. 190 00:12:36.440 --> 00:12:39.000 And I'm like, no, I'm, I'm fasting. 191 00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:44.000 I'm, I'm taking some time out, but I know, you know, 192 00:12:46.160 --> 00:12:47.960 you guys, I guess I'm probably, 193 00:12:49.200 --> 00:12:50.280 I'm really good at forgiving. 194 00:12:50.280 --> 00:12:52.720 So I say I have a PhD in forgiveness. 195 00:12:52.760 --> 00:12:56.000 I also have a PhD in surrendering, you know, like, 196 00:12:56.000 --> 00:12:59.120 like Abraham or Abraham at that time. 197 00:12:59.120 --> 00:13:01.720 Yeah. Abraham takes Isaac up the thing. 198 00:13:01.720 --> 00:13:02.680 That was his promise. 199 00:13:02.680 --> 00:13:04.720 That was his thing. 200 00:13:04.720 --> 00:13:07.040 And he laid it down and there was a ram 201 00:13:07.040 --> 00:13:09.000 in the thicket and God provided. 202 00:13:09.000 --> 00:13:10.640 You guys don't be afraid to lay things down 203 00:13:10.640 --> 00:13:13.320 because God's in the business of leaving things 204 00:13:13.320 --> 00:13:15.880 in thickets and providing, you know, 205 00:13:15.880 --> 00:13:17.720 but you get you to where you need to be, 206 00:13:17.720 --> 00:13:21.360 where he wants you to be and, and let him align it. 207 00:13:21.360 --> 00:13:24.360 So did I want to wait 90 days? 208 00:13:24.360 --> 00:13:28.520 I didn't want to wait 90 seconds, right? 209 00:13:28.520 --> 00:13:29.360 Right. I've been writing 210 00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:32.280 and there's two attractive ladies and I'm saying no 211 00:13:32.280 --> 00:13:36.080 because I gave the Lord, you know, I tested it by the way. 212 00:13:36.080 --> 00:13:39.240 I did, I do have to say, I wasn't, I was like, 213 00:13:39.240 --> 00:13:40.080 what am I allowed? 214 00:13:40.080 --> 00:13:42.320 And he's like, no, I'm like, dang it. 215 00:13:42.320 --> 00:13:44.920 I was like, hope it, you know, but like, 216 00:13:44.920 --> 00:13:46.720 that's just, that's my personality. 217 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:50.040 I'm always like, but are we there yet? 218 00:13:50.040 --> 00:13:53.680 And so I guess that kind of segues 219 00:13:53.680 --> 00:13:58.680 into what I was on my heart tonight to talk about. 220 00:14:00.520 --> 00:14:03.200 Like, you know, I'm all about preemptive things 221 00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:05.880 and like getting yourself and your house in order 222 00:14:05.880 --> 00:14:07.960 so that when you bring somebody into it, 223 00:14:07.960 --> 00:14:11.360 it's just, it's easier and you can enjoy 224 00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:12.840 and you can rejoice and you can have fun 225 00:14:12.840 --> 00:14:15.240 and you don't have to work through as many details. 226 00:14:15.240 --> 00:14:18.640 And one of the things is, and I have to say like, 227 00:14:18.640 --> 00:14:21.400 and even saying this, it gives me the willies 228 00:14:21.400 --> 00:14:26.280 or just kind of this, I feel like this, this weight, 229 00:14:26.280 --> 00:14:28.720 it's like being a spiritual leader. 230 00:14:28.720 --> 00:14:30.440 Does that like, is there any fear 231 00:14:30.440 --> 00:14:32.760 and like trembling in that for you guys? 232 00:14:32.760 --> 00:14:35.340 I mean, for me, I like, I'm like, man, 233 00:14:35.340 --> 00:14:36.880 I have a hard enough time leading myself. 234 00:14:36.880 --> 00:14:38.880 How am I gonna lead somebody else? 235 00:14:38.880 --> 00:14:43.880 Is it, and I guess, have any of you guys, does that, 236 00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:47.600 I wanna talk about that and some skills 237 00:14:47.600 --> 00:14:50.600 and things you can do now that will help later, 238 00:14:50.600 --> 00:14:53.100 but do any of you guys struggle with that thought? 239 00:14:55.560 --> 00:14:56.400 Or is it just me? 240 00:14:56.400 --> 00:14:58.600 It could just be me and that's perfectly fine. 241 00:14:58.600 --> 00:14:59.440 Thanks. 242 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:06.240 What I really liked about what you said about that, Gal, is you were talking about, here 243 00:15:06.240 --> 00:15:11.280 we are spiritually, we're like parallel, right? 244 00:15:11.280 --> 00:15:14.080 If you're a little this, that's okay. 245 00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:17.880 But if you're like this, that's kind of... 246 00:15:17.880 --> 00:15:24.380 Yeah, that was really like a big thing, just to show, God was showing me like, look, there 247 00:15:24.380 --> 00:15:31.300 are women out there that you're attracted to that do have that, you know? 248 00:15:31.300 --> 00:15:36.540 Which encourages me, because you feel like you're looking for a needle in a haystack, 249 00:15:36.540 --> 00:15:37.540 right? 250 00:15:37.540 --> 00:15:40.980 But here's the thing, you guys, like Renee's on here, right? 251 00:15:40.980 --> 00:15:48.420 Renee's got like, I think she's getting a PhD, isn't she? 252 00:15:48.420 --> 00:15:50.940 She's very on it. 253 00:15:50.940 --> 00:15:52.060 She's very educated. 254 00:15:52.060 --> 00:15:54.940 She's really spiritually minded. 255 00:15:54.940 --> 00:15:55.940 She's got... 256 00:15:55.940 --> 00:15:59.380 I mean, she's basically a pastor, right? 257 00:15:59.380 --> 00:16:07.820 I don't know where he's at, who she married, where he's at. 258 00:16:07.820 --> 00:16:12.460 But here's the thing, being a spiritual leader does not mean that you know more than your 259 00:16:12.460 --> 00:16:14.060 wife. 260 00:16:14.060 --> 00:16:17.260 It means you know how to lead spiritually, right? 261 00:16:17.260 --> 00:16:21.420 I think because so many people are like, well, they're so much better, they're more intuitive, 262 00:16:21.780 --> 00:16:22.780 they're always at church. 263 00:16:22.780 --> 00:16:23.780 I'm never at church. 264 00:16:23.780 --> 00:16:25.820 Church kind of sucks for me, because I'm a man. 265 00:16:25.820 --> 00:16:29.420 And church doesn't really like, speak to men. 266 00:16:29.420 --> 00:16:35.660 Because one of the problems with church is, it doesn't get to the core of the adventure 267 00:16:35.660 --> 00:16:38.420 that God has for men, right? 268 00:16:38.420 --> 00:16:43.180 You know, like, it's more milquetoast, but like, Jesus, Jesus, turn the table. 269 00:16:43.180 --> 00:16:49.420 I mean, like, can you imagine going up to a mob boss and throwing their table over? 270 00:16:50.420 --> 00:16:54.500 One of my mentors challenged me years ago to be a spiritual leader, which I thought 271 00:16:54.500 --> 00:16:55.500 was crazy. 272 00:16:55.500 --> 00:17:00.380 Sorry, I'm looking. 273 00:17:00.380 --> 00:17:04.020 Since I was insecure and still growing in my faith, fast forward six years later, I 274 00:17:04.020 --> 00:17:05.020 lead a... 275 00:17:05.020 --> 00:17:06.020 See? 276 00:17:06.020 --> 00:17:07.020 There you go. 277 00:17:07.020 --> 00:17:09.660 Like, like, damn, like, that's amazing. 278 00:17:09.660 --> 00:17:16.180 Like, so if you're doing something now, like, okay, you know what? 279 00:17:16.180 --> 00:17:20.420 Super easy thing, if you're like, stressing it, Jesus Calling, devotional. 280 00:17:20.420 --> 00:17:21.420 Do it together. 281 00:17:21.420 --> 00:17:23.380 You're on the same page, you get to discuss it. 282 00:17:23.380 --> 00:17:25.940 You know, Proverbs of the day, right? 283 00:17:25.940 --> 00:17:28.300 You know, there's 31 chapters of Proverbs. 284 00:17:28.300 --> 00:17:29.900 Read the Proverbs for the day. 285 00:17:29.900 --> 00:17:30.900 I do that. 286 00:17:30.900 --> 00:17:33.340 I love, that's one of my favorite things to do. 287 00:17:33.340 --> 00:17:36.460 Because Proverbs is just so full of wisdom, right? 288 00:17:36.460 --> 00:17:40.340 Psalms, but like, chicks dig Psalms, so should we. 289 00:17:40.340 --> 00:17:43.020 I struggle with the Psalms sometimes. 290 00:17:43.980 --> 00:17:46.700 I'm not a super flowery guy. 291 00:17:46.700 --> 00:17:54.460 I mean, I appreciate David when he's like lashing out and like, but yeah, no, Dan, that's 292 00:17:54.460 --> 00:17:55.460 amazing. 293 00:17:55.460 --> 00:17:57.260 Like, lead a small group. 294 00:17:57.260 --> 00:18:00.060 That's, you know, chicks dig leaders. 295 00:18:00.060 --> 00:18:04.500 That's what they will, that's what they're looking for, is they want you to be leading. 296 00:18:04.500 --> 00:18:08.180 So they're like, okay, can he protect me? 297 00:18:08.180 --> 00:18:09.580 Is he a leader? 298 00:18:09.580 --> 00:18:12.460 So yeah, Dan, that's pretty stubbly, dude. 299 00:18:12.460 --> 00:18:13.460 It's amazing. 300 00:18:13.460 --> 00:18:15.380 You want to say something? 301 00:18:15.380 --> 00:18:23.540 I mean, I haven't, I mean, I hear people tell me that all the time, like, I'm still here. 302 00:18:23.540 --> 00:18:26.300 It's like, nobody's, I'm not drawing anybody. 303 00:18:26.300 --> 00:18:29.340 So what if I'm missing something? 304 00:18:29.340 --> 00:18:30.740 Or that's a misleading statement. 305 00:18:30.740 --> 00:18:31.740 I don't know. 306 00:18:31.740 --> 00:18:32.740 So, okay. 307 00:18:32.740 --> 00:18:35.980 Let me, let me, let me, let me reframe it. 308 00:18:35.980 --> 00:18:40.140 Let me, let me. 309 00:18:40.140 --> 00:18:45.060 Being that way, being strong attracts the right ladies. 310 00:18:45.060 --> 00:18:50.620 Like you like, well, you know, like Jesse, we're like, we're looking for a certain bandwidth, 311 00:18:50.620 --> 00:18:53.820 like a certain place or something that is compatible, right? 312 00:18:53.820 --> 00:18:56.660 So anybody who is not compatible, it's not going to be attracted to that. 313 00:18:56.660 --> 00:19:00.660 But somebody who sees that is going to be like, wow, that dude's a man. 314 00:19:00.660 --> 00:19:01.660 That's the man. 315 00:19:01.660 --> 00:19:02.660 That's somebody who can leave my family. 316 00:19:02.660 --> 00:19:04.180 That's somebody who can have my kids. 317 00:19:04.180 --> 00:19:07.140 That's somebody who I want my training up my kids. 318 00:19:07.140 --> 00:19:08.140 Does that make sense? 319 00:19:09.140 --> 00:19:13.900 Whether they're doing it, like they're doing it, the process is going on. 320 00:19:13.900 --> 00:19:14.900 Can he protect me? 321 00:19:14.900 --> 00:19:19.780 Can he, you know, will he be able to be a good father to my children? 322 00:19:19.780 --> 00:19:21.020 Will he provide? 323 00:19:21.020 --> 00:19:27.780 Those are all things that are running safety, like emotional, physical, it's like, those 324 00:19:27.780 --> 00:19:30.020 are things that women are looking for. 325 00:19:30.020 --> 00:19:43.820 Now, now being there's good guys and there's nice guys, right? 326 00:19:43.820 --> 00:19:47.660 Being a you want to be a good guy, somebody who's solid, that's not a pushover. 327 00:19:47.660 --> 00:19:51.980 Somebody who has boundaries who, which they seem to test all the freaking time. 328 00:19:51.980 --> 00:19:58.500 It's annoying as hell, but like I, but one of the things reason why women push are like, 329 00:19:58.500 --> 00:20:00.020 are you capable of handling? 330 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.840 blaming. Right? And when you're like, oh, I'll give you whatever. I worship the ground 331 00:20:04.840 --> 00:20:07.840 you walk on. They're like, no, I'm not looking for a worshiper. I'm looking for somebody 332 00:20:07.840 --> 00:20:13.040 who actually say, hey, cut it out. And I struggle with this because coming from a people pleasing 333 00:20:13.040 --> 00:20:18.160 background, I was trying to make everybody happy. And, you know, and so, um, sorry, guys, 334 00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:24.040 I'm a little all over the place, but it just, but like being a leader, um, passive men are 335 00:20:24.040 --> 00:20:30.200 not attractive. I mean, I, I hear women like, I'd rather be single than have a passive dude. 336 00:20:30.200 --> 00:20:34.240 You know, I'm like, you know, I'd rather not have kids. And I'm like, dang, that's, that's 337 00:20:34.240 --> 00:20:44.160 insane. But like, um, you know, um, emotional. Okay. So, I mean, I, I've shared this story 338 00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:50.000 several times and I shared again because like, um, we want sexual connection. That's our, 339 00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:53.320 that's our wiring or like, Hey, and I'm like, okay, you guys want that? Well, they need 340 00:20:53.320 --> 00:20:58.680 emotional connection. So if you're not in touch now, when I say in touch with your emotions, 341 00:20:58.680 --> 00:21:05.800 like I'm not, not over, not overtaken by them, but I had to get a stupid emotional wheel. 342 00:21:05.800 --> 00:21:09.920 I mean, like I, it was actually a great tool, but like, it was annoying to me to be like, 343 00:21:09.920 --> 00:21:14.640 what am I feeling? And I had to grab it. I felt so dumb looking at a piece of paper going, 344 00:21:14.640 --> 00:21:20.400 um, feeling that, yeah, that's what I'm feeling right now. And I did that and I did the reps 345 00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:26.520 on that. And now I can actually understand myself and connect emotionally because I can, 346 00:21:26.520 --> 00:21:32.040 I, in my childhood, it was broken, but I've recreated it. So now I can actually be emotionally 347 00:21:32.040 --> 00:21:36.800 available and know what I'm feeling. Does that make sense? So that's something that 348 00:21:36.800 --> 00:21:41.920 you could work on in this season. So that way, and that's also attractive. That's the 349 00:21:41.920 --> 00:21:49.000 other thing is like, is he emotionally available or, uh, or is he able to connect emotionally? 350 00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:52.640 Like we want to connect. I mean, like men's like physically is our number one thing. Theirs 351 00:21:52.640 --> 00:22:00.800 is more, um, emotional. So this is a, does that make sense? You guys, is there any questions 352 00:22:00.800 --> 00:22:06.880 we want to like spiritual leadership is start leading stuff. Now you don't have to like 353 00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:11.200 Dan, that's amazing that you're leading a Bible study. Dude, I give you props. That's 354 00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:16.320 great. You guys lead a Bible study or don't lead a Bible study, lead a small group, but 355 00:22:16.320 --> 00:22:21.960 lead yourself so you can lead her and your family. Right. And you don't have to learn 356 00:22:21.960 --> 00:22:30.560 it all in the middle of the, um, trying to connect two lives. Um, you know, uh, I always 357 00:22:30.560 --> 00:22:36.000 thought I, and I share, like, I always thought, uh, my ex was, she grew up in church her whole 358 00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:41.840 life. I became a Christian six months before we got married. Like, so there's a massive 359 00:22:41.840 --> 00:22:46.960 disparity, but I knew I was supposed to be this leader. So then I got in the word, I 360 00:22:46.960 --> 00:22:51.720 got in mentors, I got every Bible study I went to, and then I got really proficient 361 00:22:51.720 --> 00:22:57.440 and then surpassed her, which she resented, unfortunately. I mean, that, and that's a 362 00:22:57.440 --> 00:23:02.400 brokenness in her. She had this problem. She had some sort of thing where I've been a Christian 363 00:23:02.400 --> 00:23:06.680 longer than you, you can't tell me what to do. And I'm like, I'm not telling you what 364 00:23:06.680 --> 00:23:11.600 to do. I'm just saying what I learned, you know, and there was brokenness there, but 365 00:23:11.600 --> 00:23:16.920 like, but get to where you know the word. I mean, even if you, like, even if you just 366 00:23:16.920 --> 00:23:23.920 read a devotional, get an audio Bible, whatever, but like get something that gets you leading 367 00:23:23.920 --> 00:23:33.960 yourself spiritually so you can lead someone else. So, um, I don't know, like, I'm just 368 00:23:34.520 --> 00:23:39.520 trying to think of things that you can do now. So that way, um, your, your, your, your 369 00:23:39.520 --> 00:23:50.760 future ride is blessed and your life is blessed. Right. Um, like, and where, like, you get 370 00:23:50.760 --> 00:23:54.240 yourself whole or in a place where you're not attracted to something that's going to 371 00:23:54.240 --> 00:23:58.760 skew you. Right. Like, or like, that's going to take you off course where you're going 372 00:23:58.760 --> 00:24:03.880 to end up in a, in a ditch somewhere. You know, Jesse, it's so funny. Cause there's 373 00:24:03.880 --> 00:24:11.760 this gal on my Facebook was like, don't message me unless you have a raccoon or cash. And 374 00:24:11.760 --> 00:24:16.360 so when you said raccoons, I was like, Oh my gosh, there's a raccoon thing. Oh, those 375 00:24:16.360 --> 00:24:20.600 things, you know, like, um, I was like, what if I invested you with the raccoon and cash? 376 00:24:20.600 --> 00:24:26.480 I don't, you don't like, let's go. Like, you know, I, I almost did it just because like, 377 00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:34.160 it was so funny, but like, um, but, and you know, you guys, um, being on here, I just 378 00:24:34.160 --> 00:24:37.240 want to give you, I, you know, being on here, I just give you props cause you're already 379 00:24:37.240 --> 00:24:47.760 working towards it. I'm just hoping to get, um, more to jump in. Can I say something like, 380 00:24:47.760 --> 00:24:52.520 um, is it a little bit, I mean, this is kind of going back to what we've started talking 381 00:24:52.520 --> 00:24:59.040 about, but I took the kids to the orthodontist this morning and my one daughter, she's 14 382 00:24:59.040 --> 00:24:59.400 and like. 383 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.280 I know she needs braces, 384 00:25:02.280 --> 00:25:04.860 and they were gonna actually put them on her today 385 00:25:04.860 --> 00:25:07.780 because we had been in there like a year ago. 386 00:25:07.780 --> 00:25:09.380 She had to get teeth pulled, et cetera. 387 00:25:09.380 --> 00:25:10.860 So they almost just scheduled an appointment 388 00:25:10.860 --> 00:25:12.100 just to put the braces on. 389 00:25:12.100 --> 00:25:14.140 But I'm like, nah, we haven't been there for a long time. 390 00:25:14.140 --> 00:25:17.660 Let's all come in and reevaluate and go from there. 391 00:25:17.660 --> 00:25:21.260 Well, anyhow, the orthodontist looked at her teeth 392 00:25:21.260 --> 00:25:23.100 and the x-ray, and he's like, 393 00:25:24.060 --> 00:25:28.740 you need an expander is what you need before braces. 394 00:25:28.740 --> 00:25:29.820 You need an expander. 395 00:25:30.460 --> 00:25:32.940 There's room to move the teeth around 396 00:25:32.940 --> 00:25:35.100 and room for the teeth to come in. 397 00:25:35.100 --> 00:25:40.100 You have to expand your top teeth before you get braces. 398 00:25:41.700 --> 00:25:43.980 And so, anyhow, I felt like the Lord 399 00:25:43.980 --> 00:25:46.260 just spoke to me in that moment. 400 00:25:46.260 --> 00:25:48.920 Sometimes we think we know what we need, 401 00:25:49.840 --> 00:25:51.020 and maybe it is what we need, 402 00:25:51.020 --> 00:25:54.100 but we don't understand sometimes 403 00:25:54.100 --> 00:25:57.940 that there's a step before what we think we need 404 00:25:57.940 --> 00:26:00.020 that needs to happen before we get 405 00:26:00.020 --> 00:26:02.580 what we think we need right now. 406 00:26:02.580 --> 00:26:03.420 You know what I mean? 407 00:26:03.420 --> 00:26:05.140 So good, so good, dude. 408 00:26:05.140 --> 00:26:06.660 So that's kind of to go along 409 00:26:06.660 --> 00:26:07.900 with what we were talking about in the beginning 410 00:26:07.900 --> 00:26:10.700 as far as just getting your own house. 411 00:26:10.700 --> 00:26:12.340 And, you know, I don't know. 412 00:26:12.340 --> 00:26:14.660 I don't know, maybe that speaks to someone, 413 00:26:14.660 --> 00:26:16.060 but I just wanted to share that. 414 00:26:16.060 --> 00:26:17.100 I mean, it spoke to me. 415 00:26:17.100 --> 00:26:18.740 Like, dude, 100%. 416 00:26:18.740 --> 00:26:21.340 Like, you know, the other thing women are like, 417 00:26:21.340 --> 00:26:23.440 are you living a life that I want to join? 418 00:26:25.220 --> 00:26:26.060 Right. 419 00:26:27.020 --> 00:26:29.520 Or live a life that somebody would want to join. 420 00:26:31.300 --> 00:26:33.780 And that, for me, I was like, man. 421 00:26:33.780 --> 00:26:35.180 Because when I, I tell you guys, 422 00:26:35.180 --> 00:26:37.740 when I pull in and I feel beat up, 423 00:26:40.580 --> 00:26:41.780 not that I do, I kind of turtle. 424 00:26:41.780 --> 00:26:43.380 I guess I turtle a little bit. 425 00:26:43.380 --> 00:26:44.820 I'm like, you know what, I'm just going to pull in. 426 00:26:44.820 --> 00:26:46.540 I'm going to isolate. 427 00:26:46.540 --> 00:26:47.540 I'm going to do these things. 428 00:26:47.540 --> 00:26:50.740 And I'm like, that's not really a life 429 00:26:50.740 --> 00:26:54.280 that somebody would want to come alongside, right? 430 00:26:54.280 --> 00:26:56.840 And so I've worked on, even when I'm getting beat up, 431 00:26:56.840 --> 00:27:01.840 staying out and trying to like walk through things, right? 432 00:27:02.960 --> 00:27:04.680 About being like, being fun. 433 00:27:04.680 --> 00:27:07.160 Like, I'm trying to remember how to be fun again. 434 00:27:07.160 --> 00:27:09.640 I mean, I got so cynical with cancer 435 00:27:09.640 --> 00:27:11.280 and all this other stuff. 436 00:27:11.280 --> 00:27:12.720 You know, so I'm hanging out with kids 437 00:27:12.720 --> 00:27:15.680 because they really are experts in fun, right? 438 00:27:15.680 --> 00:27:17.600 Like, they'll teach you fun. 439 00:27:17.600 --> 00:27:20.800 If you need, you know, if you want to have some fun, 440 00:27:20.800 --> 00:27:22.880 go to do some children's ministries 441 00:27:23.160 --> 00:27:24.960 and just let their joy wash over you 442 00:27:24.960 --> 00:27:26.800 and learn how to be a kid again. 443 00:27:26.800 --> 00:27:29.560 Because a lot of us never got to be kids and we forgot. 444 00:27:29.560 --> 00:27:31.560 You know, Jesus says, come to me like a child, 445 00:27:31.560 --> 00:27:35.600 but like we get so beat up with life. 446 00:27:37.520 --> 00:27:38.720 So I don't know, what else? 447 00:27:38.720 --> 00:27:41.280 What other things can we get prepared before? 448 00:27:41.280 --> 00:27:43.440 Any ideas, anybody want to jump in? 449 00:27:46.320 --> 00:27:49.560 I want you all to get a W, right? 450 00:27:49.560 --> 00:27:50.400 Get the win. 451 00:27:53.840 --> 00:27:57.880 You know the difference with nice guy versus a good guy? 452 00:27:57.880 --> 00:27:58.720 You know, like, 453 00:28:00.760 --> 00:28:01.880 there's like, 454 00:28:03.800 --> 00:28:04.880 women test you. 455 00:28:04.880 --> 00:28:08.920 Like, you know, are you strong enough to be my man? 456 00:28:08.920 --> 00:28:11.840 And I think depending on how attractive they are, 457 00:28:11.840 --> 00:28:14.880 they seem to, I don't know. 458 00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:16.840 Sometimes I thought it was brokenness, right? 459 00:28:16.840 --> 00:28:20.480 But I, you know, but like, are they, can you handle me? 460 00:28:20.480 --> 00:28:21.720 They're asking the question, 461 00:28:21.720 --> 00:28:26.320 can you handle me even when I'm being a turd 462 00:28:26.320 --> 00:28:28.960 or whatever, like, or not, you know, 463 00:28:28.960 --> 00:28:31.880 at my worst, can you handle this? 464 00:28:31.880 --> 00:28:33.720 Right, I think the question is, 465 00:28:33.720 --> 00:28:35.760 are you strong enough to be my man? 466 00:28:35.760 --> 00:28:37.640 Can you connect to me emotionally? 467 00:28:38.640 --> 00:28:39.800 Can you lead me? 468 00:28:39.800 --> 00:28:42.040 Do I want to join your life? 469 00:28:42.040 --> 00:28:45.160 And we can, like, I like bad guys. 470 00:28:45.160 --> 00:28:46.400 So if you guys don't understand, 471 00:28:46.400 --> 00:28:47.560 haven't figured this out, 472 00:28:47.560 --> 00:28:50.080 I like looking at the questions they're asking 473 00:28:50.120 --> 00:28:54.120 and trying to position to answer those questions well, 474 00:28:54.120 --> 00:28:54.960 right? 475 00:28:54.960 --> 00:28:58.080 Like, you know, and reverse engineer. 476 00:28:58.080 --> 00:29:00.920 I'm a machinist, I reverse engineer things all the time. 477 00:29:00.920 --> 00:29:04.160 So I engineer, I try to reverse engineer their needs. 478 00:29:04.160 --> 00:29:08.920 Okay, so I need to be, you know, fully myself, 479 00:29:08.920 --> 00:29:13.920 like, but the light me, not the serious me, right? 480 00:29:14.600 --> 00:29:18.240 You know, I have, you know, we all have different sides. 481 00:29:18.680 --> 00:29:21.040 And that's why one of the things like Jesse, 482 00:29:21.040 --> 00:29:24.400 I think to your point, is having a little break, 483 00:29:24.400 --> 00:29:26.640 getting off the apps, getting yourself back 484 00:29:26.640 --> 00:29:30.040 to where you can be the funner you, 485 00:29:30.040 --> 00:29:31.760 the lighter you, the whatever, 486 00:29:31.760 --> 00:29:34.440 that way when you can walk into a relationship 487 00:29:34.440 --> 00:29:35.760 and you haven't been, you know, 488 00:29:35.760 --> 00:29:37.080 you don't have all the battle scars 489 00:29:37.080 --> 00:29:39.760 from being on the apps for months, right? 490 00:29:39.760 --> 00:29:41.920 I don't know about you, but it wears me out. 491 00:29:41.920 --> 00:29:44.160 Does it absolutely wear anybody else out? 492 00:29:44.160 --> 00:29:45.160 Because- 493 00:29:45.160 --> 00:29:46.640 I want to hear from Chris, 494 00:29:46.680 --> 00:29:47.800 because the last time I was on here, 495 00:29:47.800 --> 00:29:50.600 he was on, he had multiple dates lined up. 496 00:29:50.600 --> 00:29:52.280 And I remember that season. 497 00:29:53.720 --> 00:29:54.840 He may be at work. 498 00:29:54.840 --> 00:29:55.800 Are you at work, Chris? 499 00:29:55.800 --> 00:29:56.720 Or can you chat? 500 00:29:56.720 --> 00:29:58.720 Or that's why I didn't call on him. 501 00:29:58.720 --> 00:30:00.720 Because I, you know, usually when he's- 502 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.020 Camera he's at work. Okay. No, it's just I'm running around doing stuff. So I was oh, oh cool 503 00:30:06.020 --> 00:30:08.020 I'm not wanting to ruin the vibe, you know 504 00:30:08.940 --> 00:30:13.960 Ruin the vibe like like like anybody talking other than me. It's great, you know 505 00:30:15.620 --> 00:30:20.660 Well, cuz I want I want to hear what you guys need and what you didn't where you're at, so how's it going Chris 506 00:30:22.620 --> 00:30:24.620 Well, I think it went 507 00:30:25.560 --> 00:30:27.560 It's going pretty well. I think 508 00:30:28.220 --> 00:30:31.340 I've narrowed down my five now to one and 509 00:30:32.660 --> 00:30:34.140 jury still 510 00:30:34.140 --> 00:30:36.140 jury still out about 511 00:30:37.180 --> 00:30:42.860 you know, I think I'm ready to to we're both exclusive right now just by 512 00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:47.260 Happenstance and it wasn't really a choice. But um 513 00:30:48.500 --> 00:30:52.240 she's still wanting to kind of date and and get to know each other, but we 514 00:30:53.060 --> 00:30:54.100 I 515 00:30:54.100 --> 00:30:59.040 mean yesterday we met for a hike drove out to 516 00:30:59.620 --> 00:31:02.980 About 45 minutes out to a hike and did another hike 517 00:31:03.380 --> 00:31:08.820 Then had tacos and had ice cream then went back to my house played board games and then I drove her home 518 00:31:08.820 --> 00:31:10.820 So we were together 519 00:31:10.940 --> 00:31:12.220 Wow 520 00:31:12.220 --> 00:31:16.640 That's I mean we like spending time with each other. So that's a good sign 521 00:31:17.940 --> 00:31:21.660 Yeah, and we're getting she's just very 522 00:31:22.660 --> 00:31:24.220 shy 523 00:31:24.220 --> 00:31:26.220 reserved so getting 524 00:31:27.460 --> 00:31:29.460 stuff out of her is 525 00:31:30.540 --> 00:31:32.540 It's difficult, but I see 526 00:31:33.540 --> 00:31:40.920 the the ice melting sort of the the yeah, she's becoming more and more comfortable with me and more and more 527 00:31:42.740 --> 00:31:44.740 The the moments when I see her light up 528 00:31:45.480 --> 00:31:48.780 Mm-hmm and like drop all the defenses and the shyness 529 00:31:49.120 --> 00:31:54.800 Like especially when we're like doing something weird or like like this hike we went. She's 530 00:31:55.360 --> 00:31:59.760 Very adventurous wants to do all kinds of crazy stuff that I've always wanted to do 531 00:31:59.760 --> 00:32:02.120 So having someone that wants to do all that stuff is super fun 532 00:32:02.920 --> 00:32:04.480 and 533 00:32:04.480 --> 00:32:09.720 So we went to the rope swings and we're doing rope swings in the forest because why not? 534 00:32:10.500 --> 00:32:15.700 And so seeing her kind of light up and get interested and get enthusiastic and 535 00:32:17.500 --> 00:32:19.500 Hey guy can be video now, oh 536 00:32:20.940 --> 00:32:25.060 The that kind of stuff has been super fun and 537 00:32:27.820 --> 00:32:33.500 So I'm just like this needs I feel like this needs time and so I told her I said at this time 538 00:32:33.500 --> 00:32:37.020 I you know, I like you you're unique enough and 539 00:32:37.840 --> 00:32:39.840 I 540 00:32:40.840 --> 00:32:42.840 Feel like I got to give this time 541 00:32:42.960 --> 00:32:48.520 So I'm not gonna be shopping around. I don't see a point for now. So and she's like, yeah 542 00:32:48.520 --> 00:32:52.360 Well, I want to keep doing what we're doing. I'm like, that's fine. Let's let's get another time together 543 00:32:52.600 --> 00:32:54.880 She just works a lot. So trying to make our 544 00:32:55.480 --> 00:32:58.640 Opposite schedules lineup is difficult, but I'm 545 00:32:59.640 --> 00:33:01.520 cautiously optimistic 546 00:33:01.520 --> 00:33:03.520 That's amazing 547 00:33:07.020 --> 00:33:11.800 Common interest and stuff. That's important. Yeah. Oh, we for sure. I have never had any 548 00:33:12.480 --> 00:33:15.480 that is the weirdest thing and Jesse, I just wanted to say this to you because 549 00:33:18.920 --> 00:33:24.800 You know having lost my wife it's the weirdest thing we have more common interests than I am ever like 550 00:33:25.400 --> 00:33:29.440 It's amazed. We're both like into whiskey. We both want to go on these big hikes. We both 551 00:33:30.160 --> 00:33:32.040 are 552 00:33:32.040 --> 00:33:35.520 You know everything that we learn about each other like oh my gosh, I've wanted to do that 553 00:33:35.520 --> 00:33:37.160 I want to go to New Orleans. I want to do that 554 00:33:37.160 --> 00:33:42.200 Like it's just it's weird like I asked her I asked her on our on one of our previous dates 555 00:33:42.200 --> 00:33:44.520 I said, are you catfishing me like for serious? 556 00:33:45.680 --> 00:33:50.300 Like read my profile and is like trying to go through it 557 00:33:51.880 --> 00:33:53.800 So 558 00:33:53.800 --> 00:33:55.800 having that happen and 559 00:33:56.280 --> 00:33:58.280 Then having it 560 00:33:58.680 --> 00:34:04.440 She could not be more different than my wife and that is the weird part and 561 00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:11.880 But I'm attracted to it and it's it's just so so I'm just trying to like I'm in unfamiliar territory 562 00:34:12.159 --> 00:34:15.159 So, um, I know Jesse it's it's tough 563 00:34:15.159 --> 00:34:20.600 And I'm so glad you realize that the whole there's other women out there that are captivating in that way 564 00:34:20.600 --> 00:34:27.719 and you're getting a little bit more positive on that because that is the hard part when you're shopping for so much when you've had 565 00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:33.080 What my uncle and I would call it the gold when you've had the gold and you're now 566 00:34:33.719 --> 00:34:36.719 You know trying to sort through the pyrite and 567 00:34:38.280 --> 00:34:40.280 It is so hard not to get 568 00:34:41.120 --> 00:34:47.239 Discouraged and get negative but at the end of the day there are good women out there 569 00:34:47.239 --> 00:34:49.280 They are and they're not all married. They're not all 570 00:34:52.440 --> 00:34:58.560 It's so easy to get that wayward you're just like they are a good woman and they're all married with five kids and 571 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.800 Oh, but they're not they're they're they're out there. So how many dates have you guys gone on Chris? 572 00:35:06.840 --> 00:35:11.360 With this one that I'm talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I 573 00:35:12.360 --> 00:35:19.200 Think yesterday was five I think or six nice either five or six. So and how long of a time span? 574 00:35:20.920 --> 00:35:22.560 We 575 00:35:22.560 --> 00:35:25.480 Started connecting end of April. So it's been almost 576 00:35:26.240 --> 00:35:29.120 It's like a month and a half. Yeah, we 577 00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:32.000 That's great. And you've been you've been 578 00:35:32.880 --> 00:35:38.780 Single for how long again? It's been like bingo. I mean, I mean like 579 00:35:39.840 --> 00:35:41.760 Is it close to ten years? 580 00:35:41.760 --> 00:35:44.700 Yeah, my wife we're gonna be ten years in August 581 00:35:46.080 --> 00:35:50.280 She passed so since I've I've had girlfriends, but oh 582 00:35:51.080 --> 00:35:57.120 Only a couple serious ones and none of them were more than a few months 583 00:35:57.840 --> 00:36:00.960 Let's see, this one feels different so I'm 584 00:36:01.800 --> 00:36:06.920 I'm just trying to make sure that it's not my the your wishes being the father of your thoughts, you know 585 00:36:07.120 --> 00:36:08.480 Hmm 586 00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:10.640 As soon as you find one, that's just not absolutely 587 00:36:11.880 --> 00:36:16.960 Bouncing off because that was the issue with some of these other women that I have been dating 588 00:36:18.680 --> 00:36:21.080 You know, I will tell you this guys I 589 00:36:21.720 --> 00:36:24.340 And I'll keep her anonymous because she is part of the program 590 00:36:24.960 --> 00:36:26.480 but I 591 00:36:26.520 --> 00:36:29.140 Had a conversation with her on our last date last week 592 00:36:30.800 --> 00:36:31.880 I 593 00:36:31.880 --> 00:36:33.880 Guess a couple weeks ago, but I said 594 00:36:34.680 --> 00:36:36.520 Hey, can I ask you a weird question? 595 00:36:36.520 --> 00:36:41.200 We got we had done a hike and we were at dinner and I said can I ask you a question? Do you? 596 00:36:42.400 --> 00:36:45.000 like me because I feel like you are 597 00:36:45.840 --> 00:36:47.960 Kind of mean you see good things about me 598 00:36:47.960 --> 00:36:53.520 But I don't think you like like my personality or what I bring to the table and I thought that was gonna bounce hard 599 00:36:53.520 --> 00:37:00.440 Off but I felt like it was the right timing and we were kind of connecting and she stopped and kind of thought about it 600 00:37:00.920 --> 00:37:03.160 She's like that's an interesting question 601 00:37:03.720 --> 00:37:08.440 and we had a good discussion about it and it was like an hour and a half discussion drove her home and 602 00:37:09.320 --> 00:37:12.160 We finally settled in the car and like yeah, you're right. I 603 00:37:12.720 --> 00:37:16.520 You are such a good man. Like I see you spiritually. I see you all these things 604 00:37:16.520 --> 00:37:20.560 But yeah, I guess we don't really like like each other that way we don't 605 00:37:21.440 --> 00:37:23.440 It's weird, but we had this cook 606 00:37:24.080 --> 00:37:29.920 Very mature conversation and left Amy amicable. You just realizing no, we don't really like each other's vibes 607 00:37:29.920 --> 00:37:34.440 We don't we're not traveling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and 608 00:37:35.200 --> 00:37:38.280 She's like, hey, well, I'm dating somebody else. I know you're dating somebody else 609 00:37:38.280 --> 00:37:43.840 I'm like, why don't we just leave it open if we want to circle back to it? But yeah, I would love to you know, 610 00:37:44.360 --> 00:37:45.800 just not 611 00:37:45.800 --> 00:37:48.760 Torch the bridge and I'm like, yeah, exactly. I'd love to remain 612 00:37:49.520 --> 00:37:55.980 Amiable, I I don't have no problem with that and I helped her carry something heavy and then left and it was just nice 613 00:37:56.360 --> 00:37:59.720 So it's just I've never done dating this way and it's so weird 614 00:37:59.720 --> 00:38:02.940 So this program has definitely changed my mind about a lot of things 615 00:38:03.840 --> 00:38:11.760 It's amazing. And like and you like like you say ending well and having having emotionally healthy conversations like like real 616 00:38:12.280 --> 00:38:18.080 That you guys if you guys can't have those conversations like that's a red. It's a yellow flag 617 00:38:19.280 --> 00:38:24.760 Right, like why don't you want to have those conversations or are they not capable if they're not capable? 618 00:38:24.760 --> 00:38:30.640 What happens if you guys get married like does that make sense? Like yeah, and and 619 00:38:31.880 --> 00:38:33.880 being 620 00:38:37.120 --> 00:38:39.600 You know, I say I'm gonna love whoever's in front of me 621 00:38:39.600 --> 00:38:44.160 I'm gonna do you know try to reset the bar for every person in front of me that I'm dating 622 00:38:44.480 --> 00:38:45.920 Otherwise and 623 00:38:45.920 --> 00:38:48.720 If and when I get to keep one, it'll be amazing 624 00:38:48.720 --> 00:38:54.480 I've got like a dozen ladies who are friends now one of them. I was saw in reading 625 00:38:55.040 --> 00:38:56.480 We hung out 626 00:38:56.480 --> 00:39:03.760 And like my dating life has been resetting the bar showing what a real dude looks like and some point it's gonna work out 627 00:39:04.440 --> 00:39:07.080 Right, but I'm like, you know, I'll get to keep one at some point 628 00:39:07.080 --> 00:39:08.120 But it you know 629 00:39:08.120 --> 00:39:13.400 I'm gonna do my best to be a man of honor and show him what that looks like and a lot of them haven't experienced 630 00:39:14.040 --> 00:39:17.360 Yeah, it's true and Christopher. I love that 631 00:39:18.640 --> 00:39:21.960 you guys sameness is kind of it can work but 632 00:39:22.880 --> 00:39:24.880 difference brings to 633 00:39:26.000 --> 00:39:28.000 When you have somebody who's a who's 634 00:39:29.280 --> 00:39:32.560 Complimentary opposite that brings so much more color to the table 635 00:39:33.200 --> 00:39:39.040 Right and and knowing who you who I am now and being confident in that helped me realize that 636 00:39:39.240 --> 00:39:43.320 Then I'm like, I don't want to change who I am to be with you. So oh, yeah 637 00:39:43.440 --> 00:39:44.960 That was a 638 00:39:44.960 --> 00:39:51.480 yeah, because if you change who you are to fit somebody else then you're not being left for who you are and you're actually just a 639 00:39:52.360 --> 00:39:53.680 facade and 640 00:39:53.680 --> 00:39:59.600 They don't even know the real you and that's not fair either. It's not fair to either of you, right? Yes. Yeah 641 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.800 But like, you know, Christopher, so one of the things that you were sharing, I said safety 642 00:40:04.800 --> 00:40:05.800 like women. 643 00:40:05.800 --> 00:40:16.480 Well, I mean, I haven't run into, I mean, in my age range, they've been hurt, right? 644 00:40:16.480 --> 00:40:21.840 So sometimes, and some of them come off super icy. 645 00:40:21.840 --> 00:40:27.520 But when they feel safe, you know, I was on one date where I saw when she felt safe. 646 00:40:27.520 --> 00:40:31.360 I saw this little girl that was a lot of fun. 647 00:40:31.360 --> 00:40:39.000 But then the protective, you know, that then she'd shift back into her, I got to be guarded 648 00:40:39.000 --> 00:40:40.480 and protective. 649 00:40:40.480 --> 00:40:50.440 And part of the journey is like, sorry, I'm not saying this well, but like, giving it 650 00:40:50.440 --> 00:40:53.880 some time until they feel safe, you'll see a whole different side of them. 651 00:40:53.880 --> 00:40:58.920 You'll see the real like, allow them, you know, it says in the Genesis, they were naked 652 00:40:58.920 --> 00:40:59.920 and unashamed. 653 00:40:59.920 --> 00:41:02.480 It's like, hey, here's all of me. 654 00:41:02.480 --> 00:41:06.720 You know, I mean, like, if somebody shows you all of them early on, that's a, it's not 655 00:41:06.720 --> 00:41:08.880 a good, good gig either. 656 00:41:08.880 --> 00:41:13.880 But like, they're willing to show, feel safe enough that they'll share themselves with 657 00:41:13.880 --> 00:41:14.880 you. 658 00:41:14.880 --> 00:41:18.040 And that's actually one of the greatest gifts you can ever get is when somebody says, hey, 659 00:41:18.040 --> 00:41:21.320 this is all of me and I trust you. 660 00:41:21.320 --> 00:41:31.040 So being, becoming somebody who is worthy of trust, who honors that trust, who takes 661 00:41:31.040 --> 00:41:36.400 it as a gift, we all should be doing that, right, or, you know, and everything. 662 00:41:36.400 --> 00:41:42.760 And introverts, like, like, I don't know if it's all introvert, like, you know, I hate, 663 00:41:42.760 --> 00:41:44.400 I hate labels. 664 00:41:44.400 --> 00:41:51.280 But I have found that introverts have a tendency, the ones that I've dealt with, they take a 665 00:41:51.280 --> 00:41:56.320 little while to come out of their shell, but when they come out, it's great, right? 666 00:41:56.320 --> 00:42:01.000 You know, deep waters are still waters run deep. 667 00:42:01.000 --> 00:42:02.000 I don't know. 668 00:42:02.000 --> 00:42:03.000 I think I just screwed that up. 669 00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:09.280 But that's, you know, and I, and I appreciate that. 670 00:42:09.280 --> 00:42:13.480 But when you're on your first, okay, you guys, when you're on your first date, you're both 671 00:42:13.480 --> 00:42:14.480 neurotic. 672 00:42:14.480 --> 00:42:16.840 Like, I don't care how relaxed you're trying to be. 673 00:42:16.840 --> 00:42:18.520 You want to show up as your full self. 674 00:42:18.520 --> 00:42:24.120 But most of the time, there's just intrinsic to it's all new. 675 00:42:24.120 --> 00:42:27.200 You're like, I want them to like me, I'm afraid you're like, there's there's so many little 676 00:42:27.200 --> 00:42:29.880 things going on your subconscious. 677 00:42:29.880 --> 00:42:36.000 So then your second date, if the first date goes well, or reasonably well, you get into 678 00:42:36.000 --> 00:42:37.000 a second date. 679 00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:41.000 Now your subconscious is like, hey, we made it through one now I can chill out a little 680 00:42:41.000 --> 00:42:42.000 bit. 681 00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:45.000 And I and I can let more of me be seen. 682 00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:50.800 And ideally, I mean, you would do that on the first date and work towards I'm going 683 00:42:50.800 --> 00:42:56.640 to be seen whether or not but I don't know about you, but like some first dates, you 684 00:42:56.640 --> 00:43:01.160 know, I'm still I'm still going and maybe you guys are experts at it, but like, but 685 00:43:01.160 --> 00:43:07.280 give it some time because people aren't always themselves on our first or second date. 686 00:43:07.280 --> 00:43:10.360 Sometimes it's a third date or fourth date where you actually get to meet the real person 687 00:43:10.760 --> 00:43:17.360 meet the real person sounds wrong, but like, you get to see the see inside their world, 688 00:43:17.360 --> 00:43:21.200 they feel safe enough to come out enough to show you other parts of their personality. 689 00:43:21.200 --> 00:43:23.240 Does that make sense? 690 00:43:23.240 --> 00:43:24.240 Yeah. 691 00:43:24.240 --> 00:43:30.280 You know, and that's a gift you guys if people show you who they are, honor that cherish 692 00:43:30.280 --> 00:43:32.520 that it's because they're trusting you. 693 00:43:32.520 --> 00:43:35.960 They're entrusting you with to see more of them. 694 00:43:35.960 --> 00:43:41.280 Now, now, don't don't get love bomb because they're like, oh, this is all of me and my 695 00:43:41.280 --> 00:43:42.280 ticket. 696 00:43:42.280 --> 00:43:47.760 You know, like, you know, you don't want an emotional vampire, you know, but like, but 697 00:43:47.760 --> 00:43:50.600 also don't if somebody is a little guarded. 698 00:43:50.600 --> 00:43:54.760 Most women have been beat up and hurt and most dudes have to so I'm not I'm just saying 699 00:43:54.760 --> 00:44:01.680 like, understand like dating stressful for pretty much everybody that I've ever talked 700 00:44:01.680 --> 00:44:02.680 to. 701 00:44:02.680 --> 00:44:08.360 And I like that when they trust you start to get the personality expansion packs. 702 00:44:08.360 --> 00:44:16.040 Yeah, you get to see you to see the and you know, and you know, like, I have a really 703 00:44:16.040 --> 00:44:19.240 goofy side, right, you know. 704 00:44:19.240 --> 00:44:25.200 And so when I feel comfortable with somebody like, I had to be, you know, which tells me 705 00:44:25.200 --> 00:44:30.000 if I'm feeling comfortable, if my goofy side comes out some I'm feeling safe with somebody, 706 00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:32.920 you know, that's told me about me. 707 00:44:32.920 --> 00:44:37.280 You know, but no, it Hey, Mr. Hunter. 708 00:44:37.280 --> 00:44:39.560 Hey, good to see you. 709 00:44:39.560 --> 00:44:45.320 Oh, I I'm just trying to grow and everything and doing some jiu jitsu, which is really 710 00:44:45.320 --> 00:44:47.160 turning that is amazing. 711 00:44:47.160 --> 00:44:48.160 It's doing terrible. 712 00:44:48.160 --> 00:44:49.160 I have four stripes. 713 00:44:49.160 --> 00:44:51.840 I'm a white belt by four stripes right now. 714 00:44:51.840 --> 00:44:52.840 That's cool. 715 00:44:52.840 --> 00:44:57.480 I just survived the whole thing about surviving game pounded and I figured you know what this 716 00:44:57.480 --> 00:45:00.000 can help build a this is something gay men need to do. 717 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.480 boost confidence. 718 00:45:01.480 --> 00:45:03.440 This is a time and age where you need to 719 00:45:03.440 --> 00:45:07.160 because a lot of men our age feel like we're past our prime, 720 00:45:07.160 --> 00:45:08.680 we're gonna let our bodies go to hell, 721 00:45:08.680 --> 00:45:10.680 and I'm not one of those. 722 00:45:10.680 --> 00:45:13.260 I was gonna say, you can make, that's a choice. 723 00:45:13.260 --> 00:45:15.560 Like, dude, I was at Brave Co. in Reading, 724 00:45:15.560 --> 00:45:18.120 and I still got it. 725 00:45:18.120 --> 00:45:20.200 You know, like, you know, I had some young bucks 726 00:45:20.200 --> 00:45:21.960 that I was throwing around pretty good. 727 00:45:21.960 --> 00:45:24.560 So you don't have to let yourself go, right? 728 00:45:24.560 --> 00:45:27.960 No, so I also, I'm back to church, 729 00:45:27.960 --> 00:45:29.880 and I'm thinking about the abs, 730 00:45:29.880 --> 00:45:31.120 but I figure, you know what? 731 00:45:31.120 --> 00:45:32.600 All I can do is pray to God about it 732 00:45:32.600 --> 00:45:33.960 and want it for the right reason, 733 00:45:33.960 --> 00:45:36.760 and I bet, because these two women I'm talking to at church, 734 00:45:36.760 --> 00:45:38.360 one, I walked out to the car, 735 00:45:38.360 --> 00:45:41.160 we walked out together, her car and mine, 736 00:45:41.160 --> 00:45:44.000 and we had a good talk and communicated well, 737 00:45:44.000 --> 00:45:46.440 and I figured, let's have the best conversation, 738 00:45:46.440 --> 00:45:49.200 and then I got to say, because they were graduating 739 00:45:49.200 --> 00:45:53.680 some kind of small-scale seminary that our church had, 740 00:45:53.680 --> 00:45:54.760 and we sat next to them, 741 00:45:54.760 --> 00:45:56.520 and they introduced me to their friends, 742 00:45:56.520 --> 00:45:58.080 and I said, God, I'm just a brother in Christ 743 00:45:58.120 --> 00:46:00.160 that I met on a Greece and Malta trip, 744 00:46:00.160 --> 00:46:02.720 and I told him, I said, okay, if I text it, 745 00:46:02.720 --> 00:46:04.560 yeah, that's good, and I figured, you know what? 746 00:46:04.560 --> 00:46:05.800 I'm gonna text. 747 00:46:05.800 --> 00:46:08.160 This is, instead of shying and being bashful, 748 00:46:08.160 --> 00:46:10.440 like, oh, man, this, how about I try to see, 749 00:46:10.440 --> 00:46:12.280 you know what, let's, if this is a chance 750 00:46:12.280 --> 00:46:16.080 to prove and heal and be me, then let's try this. 751 00:46:17.040 --> 00:46:20.800 Well, okay, I mean, so they want you to be assertive. 752 00:46:20.800 --> 00:46:22.560 Assertive is good. 753 00:46:22.560 --> 00:46:23.840 Pushy is different. 754 00:46:23.840 --> 00:46:24.680 Like, you know what I mean? 755 00:46:24.680 --> 00:46:25.960 Yeah, we don't wanna come across 756 00:46:25.960 --> 00:46:27.400 as manipulative or desperate. 757 00:46:27.400 --> 00:46:28.360 That's idolatry. 758 00:46:28.360 --> 00:46:30.320 But, like, Hunter, I would just love 759 00:46:30.320 --> 00:46:33.000 to just see you just chill and be you 760 00:46:33.000 --> 00:46:34.280 and not explain everything, 761 00:46:34.280 --> 00:46:36.480 and just hang out and have some fun. 762 00:46:36.480 --> 00:46:37.320 Yes. 763 00:46:37.320 --> 00:46:39.240 Hey, just because, like, dude, 764 00:46:39.240 --> 00:46:41.680 I love that you're doing all these things 765 00:46:41.680 --> 00:46:44.440 to improve yourself, and, I mean, I applaud you, dude. 766 00:46:44.440 --> 00:46:47.040 It's amazing, and I feel kind of jealous 767 00:46:47.040 --> 00:46:50.600 because I wanna do jiu-jitsu, but I haven't been able to. 768 00:46:50.600 --> 00:46:51.440 You know, I- 769 00:46:51.440 --> 00:46:52.760 Oh, I wrestled in high school, 770 00:46:52.760 --> 00:46:55.000 and when I left high school, I loved, 771 00:46:55.000 --> 00:46:57.400 I felt like my wrestling time during wrestling 772 00:46:57.400 --> 00:46:59.040 is just unfinished. 773 00:46:59.040 --> 00:47:03.800 Well, so, but just do it for you and be the best you. 774 00:47:03.800 --> 00:47:05.480 Build a life that somebody wants to join. 775 00:47:05.480 --> 00:47:07.160 We were talking about that earlier, right? 776 00:47:07.160 --> 00:47:08.400 I know. 777 00:47:08.400 --> 00:47:11.760 And then, but, Hunter, just chill. 778 00:47:11.760 --> 00:47:13.400 Let it come to you. 779 00:47:13.400 --> 00:47:16.000 Just be you, the fullest of you. 780 00:47:16.000 --> 00:47:17.720 And that's what happened to me. 781 00:47:17.720 --> 00:47:20.040 Enjoy the ride, you guys. 782 00:47:20.040 --> 00:47:21.560 Life's supposed to be fun. 783 00:47:21.560 --> 00:47:22.520 I know. 784 00:47:22.520 --> 00:47:24.640 God intended this to be, like, 785 00:47:25.280 --> 00:47:26.320 I mean, not that everything in life is great, 786 00:47:26.320 --> 00:47:30.600 but, like, you know, like, enjoy the ride. 787 00:47:30.600 --> 00:47:32.600 We only got one, right? 788 00:47:32.600 --> 00:47:35.920 And I'm preaching to the dude talking, by the way, 789 00:47:35.920 --> 00:47:37.480 just so you know. 790 00:47:37.480 --> 00:47:38.320 Like, it's like, you know, 791 00:47:38.320 --> 00:47:41.200 I have to tell myself this all the time, right? 792 00:47:42.720 --> 00:47:45.520 Hunter, are you going this weekend to the, 793 00:47:45.520 --> 00:47:46.600 is it this weekend? 794 00:47:47.600 --> 00:47:50.440 The one in the city, or the? 795 00:47:50.440 --> 00:47:54.520 The conference in New Jersey there. 796 00:47:55.400 --> 00:47:56.240 No, I got some things. 797 00:47:56.240 --> 00:47:57.080 I've already been there. 798 00:47:57.080 --> 00:47:58.280 I've been there before, though. 799 00:47:58.280 --> 00:48:00.480 Yeah, I saw you last year there. 800 00:48:00.480 --> 00:48:03.840 Yeah, and also, our NYC chapter 801 00:48:03.840 --> 00:48:05.440 might be doing something on Long Island. 802 00:48:05.440 --> 00:48:08.000 I'm gonna call Hopi and see if she is. 803 00:48:08.000 --> 00:48:09.680 I may be the only guy, but you know what? 804 00:48:09.680 --> 00:48:10.520 I'm bored. 805 00:48:10.520 --> 00:48:12.120 I want something to do in the city. 806 00:48:12.120 --> 00:48:13.480 You're gonna have some fun. 807 00:48:14.400 --> 00:48:15.240 Nice. 808 00:48:15.240 --> 00:48:16.080 You guys are on the other side of the, 809 00:48:16.080 --> 00:48:17.360 other side of the world for me, 810 00:48:17.360 --> 00:48:19.720 but, or not world, but, like, 811 00:48:19.720 --> 00:48:22.520 it seems like New York's forever away, right? 812 00:48:23.400 --> 00:48:27.120 Yeah, I had a gal from, like, Quebec, 813 00:48:27.120 --> 00:48:30.080 and I'm like, aye, aye, aye, no. 814 00:48:30.080 --> 00:48:33.200 Like, what's the flight? 815 00:48:33.200 --> 00:48:34.280 Do you guys know the flight from, like, 816 00:48:34.280 --> 00:48:36.200 Cali to New York? 817 00:48:36.200 --> 00:48:37.120 How long that is? 818 00:48:39.840 --> 00:48:41.240 It's not that long. 819 00:48:41.240 --> 00:48:42.080 No? 820 00:48:42.080 --> 00:48:43.400 No. 821 00:48:43.400 --> 00:48:44.920 So I was like. 822 00:48:44.920 --> 00:48:48.080 Isn't it, like, seven hours? 823 00:48:48.080 --> 00:48:50.560 Yeah, it sounds about right, so. 824 00:48:50.560 --> 00:48:51.400 I don't know. 825 00:48:51.920 --> 00:48:54.000 Maybe it's just me and my mental, 826 00:48:54.000 --> 00:48:57.440 but, like, if somebody was, like, in Phoenix, 827 00:48:57.440 --> 00:49:01.240 I could be on a plane and be there in an hour or so. 828 00:49:02.480 --> 00:49:05.680 It's just five hours seems like a lot of time on a plane. 829 00:49:07.240 --> 00:49:08.520 You know? 830 00:49:08.520 --> 00:49:11.440 But, so. 831 00:49:11.440 --> 00:49:14.640 Anything you guys, or coming up on time, 832 00:49:14.640 --> 00:49:16.760 anything you guys want to shout about, or? 833 00:49:18.640 --> 00:49:20.200 Hey, Doug. 834 00:49:20.200 --> 00:49:22.360 I know Tim sounds like you're having 835 00:49:22.360 --> 00:49:23.960 a heck of a time with reception. 836 00:49:26.160 --> 00:49:29.080 Anything you guys want to talk about, like, in the future? 837 00:49:29.080 --> 00:49:30.160 Like, I'll prep. 838 00:49:30.160 --> 00:49:31.320 I'll do what I'll. 839 00:49:31.320 --> 00:49:32.760 Yes. 840 00:49:32.760 --> 00:49:33.600 What? 841 00:49:33.600 --> 00:49:36.160 Yes, I want, there's some personal hard work 842 00:49:36.160 --> 00:49:40.880 of mine on my own that I want to iterate and question, 843 00:49:40.880 --> 00:49:43.560 and I want to share, I want to know if, 844 00:49:43.560 --> 00:49:46.360 I want to ask Jackie, when can I be in the spotlight? 845 00:49:46.360 --> 00:49:47.960 They said I can, but we're finding, 846 00:49:47.960 --> 00:49:49.600 they're trying to find a day. 847 00:49:49.640 --> 00:49:51.840 Yeah, and Jackie's doing new things, 848 00:49:51.840 --> 00:49:56.840 and all that has seen many changes, right? 849 00:49:57.360 --> 00:50:00.000 But, like, is there anything that we? 850 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.320 I can help you guys with that. 851 00:50:01.320 --> 00:50:03.800 You're like, Hey, I want to learn more about this. 852 00:50:03.840 --> 00:50:04.140 Right. 853 00:50:04.140 --> 00:50:05.600 Or is, or does this work for you? 854 00:50:06.220 --> 00:50:14.320 You know, um, like, I mean, we could do a question that I've, that I've kind of had 855 00:50:14.320 --> 00:50:20.560 is like, what is, uh, the healthy step between, I guess it would be a, but a 856 00:50:20.560 --> 00:50:23.920 level two and a level three come in like the girlfriend role, what, what's the 857 00:50:23.920 --> 00:50:27.080 differences from just dating and having fun. 858 00:50:27.480 --> 00:50:32.680 That'd be fun discussion because I think I know, but yeah. 859 00:50:32.680 --> 00:50:34.880 Like we go from, Hey, we're chatting. 860 00:50:34.880 --> 00:50:36.440 We're in the community. 861 00:50:36.440 --> 00:50:41.280 We're in proximity to now are exclusive and we're starting to learn each other. 862 00:50:41.720 --> 00:50:46.680 Um, you know, and the key is always, I mean, make it enjoy the ride and make it 863 00:50:46.760 --> 00:50:52.040 and have fun, um, is it four is four is engagement, right? 864 00:50:52.040 --> 00:50:53.240 And then five is marriage. 865 00:50:53.240 --> 00:50:55.880 I don't, I have to refresh the steps. 866 00:50:55.880 --> 00:50:56.200 Sorry. 867 00:50:56.200 --> 00:50:58.480 Um, but no, that's good at Christopher. 868 00:50:58.480 --> 00:51:03.320 Cause it is, there's a transition point where it's like, Oh, we were dating and I 869 00:51:03.320 --> 00:51:04.600 like you now, what do we do? 870 00:51:05.920 --> 00:51:06.240 Right. 871 00:51:06.240 --> 00:51:08.120 Like, you know, like what, where do we go from here? 872 00:51:08.600 --> 00:51:14.280 And, um, I think that's the point, like where you start, um, I mean, you learn a 873 00:51:14.280 --> 00:51:17.520 lot, well, hopefully you're learning a lot in the dating process, like whether 874 00:51:17.520 --> 00:51:25.360 they fit, um, you guys fit well together, you know, um, you could try, um, there's 875 00:51:25.360 --> 00:51:29.400 a book by the Gottman's called eight first or by, uh, yeah, the government's 876 00:51:29.400 --> 00:51:34.560 called eight first date or it's eight first dates or eight dates before my, 877 00:51:34.560 --> 00:51:37.360 Oh gosh, I'm so bad. 878 00:51:37.400 --> 00:51:43.320 Um, anyways, but the whole point of the, um, the long story short, the whole 879 00:51:43.320 --> 00:51:48.080 point of the eight dates is to do different things that show you how you 880 00:51:48.080 --> 00:51:52.720 guys interact and will interact in a marriage and, um, answer the, some 881 00:51:52.720 --> 00:51:54.400 questions and bring up questions. 882 00:51:54.920 --> 00:51:55.280 Right. 883 00:51:55.280 --> 00:52:01.760 Um, and so, um, the Gottman's are the marriage experts of the world, but I 884 00:52:01.760 --> 00:52:04.240 mean, I, I think when you're dating, it'd be good to just take some of those 885 00:52:04.240 --> 00:52:08.920 dates and have those dates and, and have those conversations and see, I mean, 886 00:52:08.920 --> 00:52:13.000 because once, once you become exclusive, you're looking at our, I guess your 887 00:52:13.000 --> 00:52:16.360 next step is, are we going to go into engagement? 888 00:52:16.400 --> 00:52:16.760 Right. 889 00:52:16.960 --> 00:52:18.480 And I know a lot of engagement. 890 00:52:18.480 --> 00:52:22.280 It really, um, drills down on what are your roles? 891 00:52:22.280 --> 00:52:23.000 What is this? 892 00:52:23.000 --> 00:52:24.160 What are your expectations? 893 00:52:24.160 --> 00:52:24.520 Yada. 894 00:52:24.640 --> 00:52:31.720 I mean, like, so that's like engagement talk, but you can do like by doing 895 00:52:31.720 --> 00:52:34.520 like the different kinds of dates, different kinds of learning, different 896 00:52:34.520 --> 00:52:38.240 things, putting yourself in different experiences to learn how the person 897 00:52:38.240 --> 00:52:46.120 reacts and works can be like a pre engagement test of, um, and like 898 00:52:46.120 --> 00:52:47.120 Christopher, I love that. 899 00:52:47.120 --> 00:52:50.040 You're like, Hey, we're out in the woods and she likes rope swimming. 900 00:52:50.040 --> 00:52:51.200 And I've always wanted to do that. 901 00:52:51.440 --> 00:52:54.920 Like, so you found out, wow, man, she's adventurous and she likes doing 902 00:52:54.920 --> 00:52:56.760 some of the things that I like to do. 903 00:52:56.960 --> 00:52:57.680 That's amazing. 904 00:52:58.360 --> 00:53:02.320 Now, you know, um, like a picnic, how does she, you know, like, or what, 905 00:53:02.320 --> 00:53:06.480 like, like different, different kinds of, uh, endeavors, like going out, um, 906 00:53:07.120 --> 00:53:09.800 to, uh, what do you call those escape rooms? 907 00:53:10.080 --> 00:53:11.960 How does she deal under pressure? 908 00:53:12.080 --> 00:53:13.480 How do we work under pressure? 909 00:53:13.640 --> 00:53:15.640 I don't know if escape rooms are like, you know, like those 910 00:53:15.640 --> 00:53:17.000 seem like a terrible idea. 911 00:53:17.040 --> 00:53:20.960 I, you know, like let's, let's, let's, you know, I did that. 912 00:53:21.040 --> 00:53:23.520 Let's, uh, not with this one, but, uh, another one. 913 00:53:23.520 --> 00:53:25.240 And actually it was, it was a lot of fun. 914 00:53:25.600 --> 00:53:26.960 I highly recommend it. 915 00:53:26.960 --> 00:53:28.680 If you want to test that part of your relationship. 916 00:53:29.520 --> 00:53:29.920 What else? 917 00:53:29.960 --> 00:53:32.560 And so that's the whole point of testing different parts of your relationship. 918 00:53:33.000 --> 00:53:38.200 You know, um, like is she competitive and how does she lose? 919 00:53:38.960 --> 00:53:39.760 How do you lose? 920 00:53:39.800 --> 00:53:40.680 What do you lose? 921 00:53:40.680 --> 00:53:48.200 Well, I mean, you know, like, you know, um, and so, um, and, um, 922 00:53:48.600 --> 00:53:50.240 is she somebody who will partner? 923 00:53:50.400 --> 00:53:53.640 I mean, I think what I liked about what you said, Christopher, it sounds like 924 00:53:53.640 --> 00:53:57.720 she's somebody who you could partner with, you do different things and you're 925 00:53:57.720 --> 00:54:03.120 like, man, I have a partner here, somebody who to come alongside, and then 926 00:54:03.120 --> 00:54:06.360 you get to be her partner in doing something that she likes, and that'd be 927 00:54:06.360 --> 00:54:11.240 something that I would recommend is like, um, you're like, okay, I'll 928 00:54:11.240 --> 00:54:11.960 plan a couple of days. 929 00:54:11.960 --> 00:54:16.240 You plan one, you do what you want to, because usually we do something that 930 00:54:16.240 --> 00:54:19.920 we want to do and you let, let them plan one and you get to learn about how 931 00:54:19.960 --> 00:54:21.840 they do things, right? 932 00:54:21.840 --> 00:54:24.960 And so you get to learn about their world and how they plan or don't 933 00:54:24.960 --> 00:54:26.960 plan or what they like. 934 00:54:27.000 --> 00:54:29.760 You can experience a lot of what they like through their lens. 935 00:54:29.760 --> 00:54:30.160 Right. 936 00:54:30.480 --> 00:54:36.120 So I like, um, you know, whether, or just like a, you know, you pick the 937 00:54:36.120 --> 00:54:41.600 coffee plate or give them something to, that helps because the whole point of 938 00:54:41.600 --> 00:54:46.960 dating is learning who the person is and how you guys react and whether you 939 00:54:46.960 --> 00:54:48.560 want to make a lifetime out of it. 940 00:54:49.400 --> 00:54:49.840 Right. 941 00:54:49.880 --> 00:54:53.880 So, Oh, you guys are amazing. 942 00:54:53.960 --> 00:54:59.560 And I'm glad, um, I, you know, I'm super proud of y'all, you know, and that you're 943 00:54:59.560 --> 00:55:00.040 here. 944 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:07.680 and that you're growing, and that God honors that kind of stuff. 945 00:55:07.680 --> 00:55:09.280 And not that you're doing it for that, 946 00:55:09.280 --> 00:55:14.160 and not that even if you weren't doing it, that he wouldn't. 947 00:55:14.160 --> 00:55:18.320 I hate when people are like, if you just get ready, 948 00:55:18.320 --> 00:55:19.560 he'll bring her. 949 00:55:19.560 --> 00:55:21.840 I mean, have you had people say it to you? 950 00:55:21.840 --> 00:55:23.120 I've heard that so many times. 951 00:55:23.120 --> 00:55:24.160 Yes, I did. 952 00:55:24.160 --> 00:55:30.320 I'm like, and there is some truth, a lot of truth in that, 953 00:55:30.320 --> 00:55:31.400 right? 954 00:55:31.400 --> 00:55:37.040 But God's not a transactional God. 955 00:55:37.040 --> 00:55:38.320 He's a good dad. 956 00:55:38.320 --> 00:55:46.200 And so get yourself in your best place 957 00:55:46.200 --> 00:55:49.720 to the best of your abilities with him. 958 00:55:49.720 --> 00:55:52.160 Those that wait upon the Lord, well, like Jesse, like me, 959 00:55:52.160 --> 00:55:53.840 right now, it's like, I'm in a season where I'm like, Lord, 960 00:55:53.840 --> 00:55:54.840 I'm going to spend some time with you, 961 00:55:54.840 --> 00:55:56.640 and I'm going to let you figure everything out. 962 00:55:56.640 --> 00:55:57.880 But we're going to go deeper. 963 00:55:57.880 --> 00:56:00.040 I'm going to let you restore my soul, 964 00:56:00.040 --> 00:56:03.360 so that way when you bring me my spirit mate, my soul mate, 965 00:56:03.360 --> 00:56:07.880 whatever, soul mate, there is no such thing as a soul mate 966 00:56:07.880 --> 00:56:09.920 like as the, you understand that, right? 967 00:56:09.920 --> 00:56:13.160 Like soul mate was something Greek mythology came up with. 968 00:56:13.160 --> 00:56:16.960 Like humans were so advanced or whatever 969 00:56:16.960 --> 00:56:19.280 that the gods had to split them into two different people, 970 00:56:19.280 --> 00:56:20.700 because if they ever came together, 971 00:56:20.700 --> 00:56:22.200 they'd take over the world. 972 00:56:22.200 --> 00:56:24.760 So you're just looking for your soul mate. 973 00:56:24.760 --> 00:56:26.520 That's a bunch of garbage. 974 00:56:26.520 --> 00:56:29.120 There's a lot of ladies out there 975 00:56:29.120 --> 00:56:30.480 that will be your spirit mate. 976 00:56:30.480 --> 00:56:33.480 And I like spirit mate better, but sorry. 977 00:56:33.480 --> 00:56:35.640 Well, that's what I really hate about, 978 00:56:35.640 --> 00:56:37.440 like, especially with me and Jesse's situation, 979 00:56:37.440 --> 00:56:38.280 we're widowed. 980 00:56:38.280 --> 00:56:39.400 We think we've found our soul mates 981 00:56:39.400 --> 00:56:40.720 if you want to believe in that. 982 00:56:40.720 --> 00:56:41.720 And then we're like, what? 983 00:56:41.720 --> 00:56:42.920 Supposed to be single for the rest of our life? 984 00:56:42.920 --> 00:56:43.760 Come on now. 985 00:56:43.760 --> 00:56:45.600 Yeah, no, and that's the thing is, 986 00:56:45.600 --> 00:56:47.480 or you get divorced and you never intended 987 00:56:47.480 --> 00:56:50.400 on being divorced and you're like, man, you know, 988 00:56:51.240 --> 00:56:53.120 but God's a good dad. 989 00:56:53.120 --> 00:56:54.800 And he says, it's not. 990 00:56:54.800 --> 00:56:58.360 I mean, dude, I didn't say this. 991 00:56:58.360 --> 00:56:59.460 God said it. 992 00:56:59.460 --> 00:57:02.560 It's not good that man is alone, right? 993 00:57:02.560 --> 00:57:04.880 Like, and so in the right timing, 994 00:57:04.880 --> 00:57:06.600 he'll bring it so you're not alone. 995 00:57:06.600 --> 00:57:09.120 And can you do that through friends and stuff? 996 00:57:09.120 --> 00:57:14.120 Yes, but the context of that verse is Eve came, right? 997 00:57:14.120 --> 00:57:16.240 Like, so like, you know, 998 00:57:16.240 --> 00:57:18.280 and if it's a desire of your heart 999 00:57:18.280 --> 00:57:20.560 and you guys are doing the work 1000 00:57:20.560 --> 00:57:23.440 and I'm just super proud of you guys 1001 00:57:23.440 --> 00:57:24.960 and glad to be part of the process. 1002 00:57:24.960 --> 00:57:26.920 If I can help you guys in any way, 1003 00:57:26.920 --> 00:57:29.680 you all know, like, dude, 1004 00:57:29.680 --> 00:57:32.440 I'll go to the mattresses with you guys. 1005 00:57:32.440 --> 00:57:34.040 Please. 1006 00:57:34.040 --> 00:57:37.840 Right, you know, I don't know Hunter. 1007 00:57:37.840 --> 00:57:39.280 I'll make a list for you. 1008 00:57:39.280 --> 00:57:40.680 I'm pretty massive. 1009 00:57:40.680 --> 00:57:44.960 And like, I do want to do jujitsu though. 1010 00:57:44.960 --> 00:57:45.880 I've always wanted to do that. 1011 00:57:46.680 --> 00:57:49.760 I almost got to black in Taekwondo, 1012 00:57:49.760 --> 00:57:52.360 but, or I got to brown, almost to brown. 1013 00:57:52.360 --> 00:57:53.480 Sorry, right. 1014 00:57:53.480 --> 00:57:54.600 I think brown's right before black. 1015 00:57:54.600 --> 00:57:55.440 I forget. 1016 00:57:55.440 --> 00:57:57.320 Well, brown is before black. 1017 00:57:57.320 --> 00:57:59.200 Yeah, so I was almost to brown, 1018 00:57:59.200 --> 00:58:01.280 but my voice stopped playing. 1019 00:58:02.760 --> 00:58:04.080 Taekwondo or? 1020 00:58:04.080 --> 00:58:05.520 Taekwondo, yeah. 1021 00:58:05.520 --> 00:58:06.880 So I have the striking down. 1022 00:58:06.880 --> 00:58:09.560 I just need the mattress kind of stuff. 1023 00:58:09.560 --> 00:58:11.560 Nobody wanted to spar with me. 1024 00:58:11.560 --> 00:58:13.920 But anyways, you guys, you're amazing. 1025 00:58:13.920 --> 00:58:14.760 Can I pray us out? 1026 00:58:15.600 --> 00:58:18.360 Lord Jesus, I just thank you for every man on this call, 1027 00:58:18.360 --> 00:58:19.760 every man in this program, 1028 00:58:19.760 --> 00:58:21.400 every man that's gonna watch this. 1029 00:58:21.400 --> 00:58:25.080 Lord, would you draw near to them? 1030 00:58:25.080 --> 00:58:28.040 I just, we just break off all hopelessness, 1031 00:58:28.040 --> 00:58:29.280 discouragement. 1032 00:58:30.240 --> 00:58:32.720 Lord, I just pray that you would bring, 1033 00:58:32.720 --> 00:58:34.160 you say in due season, 1034 00:58:34.160 --> 00:58:36.320 like you would bring the due season 1035 00:58:36.320 --> 00:58:38.120 for the harvest for them. 1036 00:58:38.120 --> 00:58:41.000 And thereby, you say it's not good for man to be alone. 1037 00:58:41.000 --> 00:58:44.120 And I bring their spirit mate, their help mate, 1038 00:58:44.120 --> 00:58:45.440 to each one of these men. 1039 00:58:45.440 --> 00:58:47.000 But Lord, give them eyes to see. 1040 00:58:47.000 --> 00:58:50.800 And I pray that their eyes and hearts would be ignited 1041 00:58:50.800 --> 00:58:52.240 to see and hear. 1042 00:58:52.240 --> 00:58:57.240 And their spirit mates would also be ignited and aligned 1043 00:58:58.760 --> 00:59:00.000 so that when they see each other, 1044 00:59:00.000 --> 00:59:01.600 there'll be no doubting. 1045 00:59:01.600 --> 00:59:03.520 And Lord, then, and we just thank, 1046 00:59:03.520 --> 00:59:04.360 we just praise you, 1047 00:59:04.360 --> 00:59:06.600 and I can't wait for all the cool stories. 1048 00:59:06.600 --> 00:59:08.280 But Lord, in the meantime, 1049 00:59:08.280 --> 00:59:10.640 would you help us get our houses together? 1050 00:59:10.640 --> 00:59:12.880 And would you help us just draw near to you 1051 00:59:12.880 --> 00:59:13.720 as we're waiting? 1052 00:59:14.320 --> 00:59:18.520 And would you fill that void in our hearts 1053 00:59:18.520 --> 00:59:19.520 that only you can fill? 1054 00:59:19.520 --> 00:59:21.600 In Jesus' name, amen. 1055 00:59:21.600 --> 00:59:23.160 You guys are amazing, thank you. 1056 00:59:24.400 --> 00:59:25.520 I'll be praying for you guys, 1057 00:59:25.520 --> 00:59:28.320 and keep it up, you're doing awesome. 1058 00:59:28.320 --> 00:59:29.840 I can't wait to hear all, 1059 00:59:29.840 --> 00:59:32.200 well, can't wait to hear you guys, 1060 00:59:32.200 --> 00:59:34.480 like, hey, I'm at a level four, 1061 00:59:34.480 --> 00:59:36.320 and we're headed toward five, right? 1062 00:59:36.320 --> 00:59:38.880 Which, you know, like we're getting married again, 1063 00:59:40.080 --> 00:59:42.600 or getting married, or married again, 1064 00:59:42.600 --> 00:59:45.400 because God's a good dad, and he loves you. 1065 00:59:45.400 --> 00:59:46.680 All right, we'll talk soon. 1066 00:59:46.680 --> 00:59:47.600 Blessings, y'all.