WEBVTT

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can everybody hear me? Yeah. Oh, good. Somebody talked. I was like, why can't I hear anybody?

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Usually I hear the thing that says it's being recorded and I'm like, I didn't hear that.

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So I'm like, is it being recorded? But my indicator does say that it is. So, all right,

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cool. Welcome ladies. Um, real quick. Do I have any, um, new ladies to phase two on this

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call? Maybe, maybe this isn't your first time to a phase two live call, but maybe this is

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your first time here to the one o'clock. So maybe it might be the first time I haven't

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seen you, Dana. So good to see you. I haven't seen you in a couple of weeks. It's so good

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to see you. Um, thank you. Good, good, good. Okay. Chrissy, this is your second one. Awesome.

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Good to see you. Um, awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Okay. Well, I'm sure there's going to be

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more people jumping on as well. Um, I'm going to go ahead and pray for us and then I'm going

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to jump into some housekeeping stuff. And then I'm not sure if anybody saw my, um, I'm,

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I'm working on getting comfortable and getting more intentional with the app and being more

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consistent with that. And so I was able to do a post. And so hopefully y'all saw that. I'm going

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to try to do better at that and get those reminders out there for you and kind of give you a little

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preview of what the teaching will be, um, for the day. So that was shared, but awesome. Awesome.

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Awesome. Lucy, I haven't seen you in a long time. Yes. I, your name popped up and I'm like,

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I know that name. I'm like, I know I've seen her before. It just might have been a minute.

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It's okay. I love that you're still here. Like that's good. Um, so, um, yes, yes, yes. Um,

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I'm glad that you're here. So yes, before you can move into phase three, you want to get all

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the good stuff from here. Right. I know we have a lot of ladies that have been in the phase one

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and phase two. And, and I think with the membership that some people signed up with,

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they're getting shifted over to phase three, because that was only for a certain amount of,

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I think it was like for a year. Um, when we, we, not everybody had that membership, but I had some

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ladies over the last couple of weeks. They're like, I'm getting kicked out. I can't stay here

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anymore. I'm getting moved to phase three. And so, um, I know that's happening. So there's lots

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of cool things that happen in phase three. Um, so don't think that you have to just like hang out

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here. I mean, as much as I love you and I enjoy getting, just like connect with you all and get

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to be part of your story. Um, I also don't want y'all missing out on what is over in phase three,

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two, because that is a bigger community. And there is so much, there's even just a broader

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range of wisdom and women that have been in the program for, you know, longer. And like,

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there's just going to be so many more stories that you hear and you, you want to be able to

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capitalize on the hope that gets, um, released in that phase. And so I love phase two because

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it's a great, um, diving board. It's kind of that, like, like going from heartwork and like

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going through some of that, like beginning stages of that, like heart surgery, if you will.

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And like, what is this heartwork stuff that I'm doing? Because that doesn't go away.

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Um, but that first phase of when you're getting introduced to it, it is nice to have that more

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intimate group and then not the distraction of the dating. So then when you get through that,

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then you get launched into a smaller group, kind of like, it's like, maybe it's not the diving

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board. Maybe it's more like the kiddie pool. Maybe that's a better analogy. You're getting

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into that kiddie pool where you get a smaller, um, group of ladies and more coaching that is

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going to be more individualized for you. Um, and we get to spend a little bit more time getting

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to know like what dating is looking like for you. So we can give you a little bit more of

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an individualized coaching. So as long as that you show up, get vulnerable, um, be willing to

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do the work, be willing to be engaged. Okay. It's going to take some stretching on your part,

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but it is available to you. And then once you get comfortable there and you've worked,

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you've worked the heartwork, you've gotten some of those things because dating is going to bring

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up heartwork ladies. It will. Okay. Don't think it won't. Okay.

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ladies that have been here for a minute, they're going to let you know it most certainly will

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bring up new heart work things. Okay, you're gonna think that you dealt with some things

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and then you're gonna get into this dating thing and be like, uh, I only dealt with a

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layer of it. Okay. So healing will come in layers. Um, and so just don't, don't beat

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yourself up when those revealings for healing surface, that's totally normal, but that's

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why we have this phase two so that you get that support. You get the support from myself

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and Ebony, and then you get the support of your smaller community of sisters here and

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you kind of build, you know, an even, um, more intimate relationship with the ladies

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here too. And then when you go into phase three, you'll see ladies that you have built

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relationship with that already moved on. And then you'll, you'll get to, um, welcome the

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ladies that you might have left before that come after you. And so it's just a way to

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continue to build community. So, um, all good things. And so hopefully that, um, for anybody

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that's watching and replay, that's just a good little overview of what we do here in

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phase two at last year single. So, all right, let's go ahead and pray and then get started.

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All right, ladies. Okay. So heavenly father, I just thank you for bringing each one of

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these women here today on this call. I thank you for every woman that's going to watch

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this and replay Lord. I thank you for the work that you're doing in their hearts. And

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even in those places where they're stretching and there's discomfort, um, there's uncertainty

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and things sometimes feel unfinished and uncomfortable. Lord, I just invite your spirit

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into this conversation, help us to slow down enough just to hear your voice, especially

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above any of the fear or the anxiety, any of that overthinking that I know so many of

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us women do only because I do that myself. Um, and the pressure that we, um, often just

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put on ourself to have everything figured out that, you know, each day we need that

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reminding that we have you as our source and that we're not walking this life alone to

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figure it out on our own, but we have you to partner with that or to ask that you just

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give us wisdom and discernment to whatever it is that you want to reveal, um, to each

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of us individually, as well as a community Lord, when discomfort shows up, uh, I just

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pray that you help us to not immediately run from the discomfort, help us to become curious

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about what you want to teach us, what you want to heal in us. What are you asking us

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to pay attention to? Jackie often praise, teach us, show us, heal us and grow us. Lord,

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I ask that you help us trust the growth. That's not always comfortable. Like Jackie says,

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it doesn't have to be easy. It just, it just has to be worth it. You know, preparation

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doesn't, doesn't just fall into our laps that it actually requires some stretching. Lord,

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I just ask that you just give us the courage to remain open and to stay teachable, to stay

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connected, connected to you in this process that leads to, to the promises that you've

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delivered Lord. I thank you for this community. I thank you for the women who, who are showing

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up and staying engaged and asking the questions, especially for the ones that continue to do

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the deep work in their hearts, or I know it's not easy. I know there are seasons for so many

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of these women where it's just not easy. It's not easy to do the deep work, but you meet us

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in that season and you give us the grace, you give us the mercy. And I just thank you for their

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obedience and their intentionality, just to continue to press into you, Lord, or to ask that

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you let, let this community and this space today be a place of breakthrough for healing, for wisdom

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and for encouragement, just to be able to flourish. Lord, I ask.

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as we spend this time together that it's a reminder that we're not here just to find answers

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but more importantly we're here to grow closer to you and become

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the brides that you have prepared us to be or to ask that we come into this call with surrendered

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hearts especially for our healing surrender our dating journey surrender our love story

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and just over our future into your hands let me ask this in jesus jesus mighty name amen

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all right see if i have any more ladies jumping on i don't think so there might have been a couple

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all right i'm going to quickly go over some housekeeping um i welcome to anybody who um

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is brand new um i did the introduction already so those of you that don't know me most of you do

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um and then we kind of explain the what teaching happens here specifically in phase two

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um what we do is we for these tuesday calls we do um a quick housekeeping we're going to pray

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we're into housekeeping and we'll do a brief teaching of what is showing up in currently

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in our face so what are what are women experiencing in our phase at this very moment so what themes

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are surfacing so that's why it's important for you ladies to um be open and willing to get

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vulnerable and come into the app and share your stories and what what you're experiencing what

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is god revealing what's your dating situations like what um encouragement are you getting what

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is the lord having you work on what if you're feeling discouragement what does that look like

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what what layers of heartwork is he working on in you um what wins are you gaining like we want to

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know what you're experiencing in this season because chances are you all are probably

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experiencing something similar and the holy spirit really can work through a body of us and that's

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where we get to come together and really lean into what holy spirit wants us to grow in and so

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we will typically do a teaching during this call that lends itself to what myself and ebony are

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recognizing that's coming up and a lot of what you ladies are sharing um with the addition to

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what we have in our content that you all watch each week so you have those five videos

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in the teachings and the content um so those training materials those are there for you

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as well take it at your own pace my biggest advice is do not rush through them do not watch

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more than one a week um don't try to knock them all out okay minimum for this phase five weeks

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okay i really don't encourage ladies to jump out of phase two sooner than five weeks it really

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doesn't doesn't have a great like we see the acceleration in women that are showing up and like

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letting god take the driver's seat and walk you through your journey and it doesn't have

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to look like everybody's journey okay y'all my journey i didn't start dating for a year

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when i found jackie okay i wouldn't advise it like a lot of that was my stubbornness

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but god used that because he also knew there was a lot of healing in my identity that

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really needed to take place before i was going to be fully capable of holding the capacity

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for the lord to bring my spirit mate like that i was going to be truly ready that he wasn't going

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to give me a gift and a blessing that i couldn't carry that i was going to just mess up you know

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or i guess we can't really mess anything up because god's involved in that but

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i would have made it more challenging for myself is probably what i it would be a better

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explanation to that and so i want you to have grace and ease for yourself

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Okay. And know that myself and Ebony and all the coaches here at last year single have

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that same for you because we're either going through it ourselves or we've been through

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it. So you're not alone. Um, for our group coaching, what we'll do is we're going to

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wait till after our teaching. And then that's when I'm going to have you ladies, raise your

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avatar, little hands to let me know that you have some, some coaching that you want. You

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want a specific question answered. Those avatar hands is going to let me get an idea

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of how much time do I need and how much time do we have to navigate? Okay. If I have a

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lot of ladies, we're going to need to be diligent and mindful of that. If I only got a couple

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hands, we get a little more, a little more time. Ideally, I would love to keep these

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calls to 90 minutes. I have not been great at that. I just haven't Sarah shell, you

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know, last week y'all that was, I like, I got off that call and I beat myself up. Like

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I legit beat myself up and not that the Holy spirit didn't do something incredible there.

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I don't want to say that we can't allow the space for the Holy spirit to move, but I also

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want to be mindful that not everybody has that time and even watching the replays, like

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that's a long period of time. Okay. So I don't ever want you ladies to feel like you're forced

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to have to listen to all of that. But I also don't want us to not press into what the Holy

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spirit is doing either. It's a balance. Okay. So I, I beat myself up and then, you know,

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obviously the Lord was like, stop beating yourself up. Like, you know, there's a lesson here.

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It's about balance. Just roll with it. I was like, okay, Lord, thank you. Okay. So I'm going

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to release that same thing to you all for anybody that needs it. So when we do have those questions,

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I'm going to ask you to keep those around to two minutes. Okay. For the sake of time.

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And then that will allow myself or Ebony the opportunity to coach you individually,

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but then we're also going to keep in mind because there's replays and there's other women on this

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call. Your questions are very valuable to the community as a whole. And so I will tend to tailor

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my responses to you individually, but I'm also going to help as best as I can to coach the group

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with anything that would feel similar. Okay. And then when you have a question,

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I'm just going to try to do better myself at we're only going to allow one question.

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The first round. I know oftentimes I'm not great at this and I allow ladies to ask several

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questions. I am going to cut you off at one and say, I will come back to you after everyone's

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got there. Okay. I am going to really try hard to follow through on that. Okay. Um,

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and then once all that done is I I'll have activation and then that is going to include

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some type of participation from you in the app. Um, now if you ladies are recognizing that you're

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going to need a little bit more detailed coaching, because some ladies prefer that, um, I want you

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ladies to consider a couple of things. One, I want you to consider investing in the one-on-one

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coaching calls that we offer. They are an additional fee, but they do allow you 50 minutes.

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Okay. That's five zero. So there is myself, there's Ebony and there's several other

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coaches in our community, and we have all different schedules. So it, you, you should

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be able to find someone that is going to speak to you and you're gonna be like, Oh, I think this

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person's going to be a good fit for me. And they work with my schedule. Like they're the time that

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they're available is also a time I'm available. So know that those opportunities are there.

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Um, so pick something that works best for you. Um, and then if, you know, that might not be

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something that you're able to do, or you feel like that's necessary. It's not mandatory.

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One-on-one coaching is not mandatory and it's not mandatory for growth. Okay. So what we offer

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here in the group, most certainly you can still get accelerated coaching. So if you, um, do.

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recognize you are going to need more detailed coaching. I do want you to consider showing up

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and posting more in the app. Um, and then even showing up in the app and reading and reflecting

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on what other women are sharing as well. Okay. So if you're not familiar with the app, make sure

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that you're going to get familiar with that. Okay. There's no time better like the present,

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especially for some of you ladies had been in here for a minute. All right. I want you ladies

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to make sure that you know how to navigate around that specialty events tab, because that's where

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all of our events happen. That's where you're going to access, um, your zoom links, the pass

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codes, all of that stuff. We've been getting a lot of questions about the single cities,

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um, in the Facebook groups, we get the question of what's the password because you're going to

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get prompted of like, I need a password. When you get, when you asked to join that Facebook single

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city community and ladies, that information is in the document under resources. If you click the

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document and you open it up, you're going to see the list of all the single cities that we have.

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It has links to get you there to the Facebook city, but then it's, it's literally like an Excel

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sheet. And then it's going to have like the password and that's the password that we're

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asking for. Okay. So all of that information is there. Don't, don't be shy about clicking around

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in the app. All right. Get comfortable, getting uncomfortable, especially if you're not tech

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savvy. I am learning. I am not as tech. I've never really been tech savvy. Um, that's for sure. Now

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I definitely am recognizing I'm not because I literally am moving now to a Mac and not a PC,

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even though I'm an iPhone user, I'm like, I don't necessarily know how to use this computer.

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Those of you ladies that were on, I was like, my zoom looks way different and I don't know what

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I'm doing here. So keep that in mind. And then don't forget about, um, if you signed up for the

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book club that's going on tonight. And then, Oh, one last thing this Thursday, there's another

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special session that you ladies are invited to. That's for the phase three ladies. And we're

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inviting the phase two ladies as well. Again, that information is in your events tab. It's on the

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calendar. Okay. So, um, and so you'll find that stuff there. Cool. Awesome. That took a way longer

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than I wanted to, but that's okay. All right. So today, um, if you didn't see my post, I was

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looking through all of that, all of the posts in the community and what was really surfacing and

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what I felt the Lord really highlighting to me that is happening in our phase two with the dating

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and the, and the preparing for dating is this theme that discomfort is information. It's not

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instruction. Okay. Discomfort doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong and that is new.

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Okay. Especially coming out of hard work because we're doing things differently.

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So they don't feel different just because it's different. Doesn't mean it's wrong. Okay. Um,

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it's perfectly normal for there to be discomfort in the dating process, in the healing process,

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in the waiting process. I mean, y'all, I think we all can sit here and say, we've all been

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uncomfortable in the waiting process. Everybody agree who agrees y'all. I didn't get engaged

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in marrying until I was 40. Like some of you can relate. And some of you are like, oh, Carla,

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that's nothing I'm older than that. So we all can share. We uncomfortable having to wait.

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All right. I'm a very impatient person at times when it comes to having to wait,

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there's some things I can be patient about. There's some other things that I'm like, no,

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I won't take control. Like, let me take charge. Um, and then that doesn't ever work out for me.

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Um, but we immediately assume that just because something is uncomfortable,

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it's wrong. And so I want you to recognize that discomfort is growth. It's healing.

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It's stretching it's vulnerability. It's learning a new way to think about things,

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a new way to relate to things. And

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And it's also a way for God to reveal

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something that needs attention.

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So the goal is never going to be to avoid the discomfort.

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The goal is going to be to discern

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what kind of discomfort you're experiencing

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and to be able to partner with God in that process.

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Okay?

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So I wanna start us off by something that

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I think we all can relate to,

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especially some of us who are not

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as diligent about being active.

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I'm one of those people.

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Okay.

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Have you ever been in a season in your life

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where you're like, okay, I wanna start exercising

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and I'm gonna start like working out a little bit.

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All right.

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And you might go to the gym

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or you might throw on a YouTube workout video

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and do that in your house.

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Okay.

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And you're like, okay, I'm gonna be on top of this

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for like a day or two.

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Usually for me, it never lasted more than a couple of days.

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I'm just gonna be real with you ladies.

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Okay.

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And has anybody ever done that?

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Like, am I alone here?

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You can throw it up in the chat.

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Like, let me know.

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I hope I'm not the only one here.

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But when you start doing that,

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do you ever like wake up the next day

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or after a few days and like,

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you're like, oh my gosh,

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I can't sit down to go to the bathroom.

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I know some of you know what I'm talking about.

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Like your legs burn.

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Like you can't even laugh because your abs hurt so bad.

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You can't even pick up your coffee cup

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without it like shaking because you're like,

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my arms are noodles.

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Like you're hurting, right?

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Like, what?

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Now I want you to think to yourself,

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like if you're in that,

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would you say to yourself,

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I must be doing something wrong.

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Is that pain and discomfort of working out

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an indication that you did something wrong

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on those workouts?

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Always?

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I mean, sometimes, okay, yeah.

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But majority of the time,

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if we're not used to working out,

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it's not an indication that we did something wrong, is it?

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What is it an indication of?

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Put it in the chat.

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Yeah, Audrey, it's lack of practice.

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Like we're just not used to working those muscles, right?

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It's something new, all right?

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Most cases, it's not that soreness isn't like,

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oh, something's broken.

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I've messed something up.

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Something's wrong.

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It's really actually evidence

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that something is being strengthened.

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There's growth happening.

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There's something like you're building a muscle.

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You're growing stronger in something

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and it's uncomfortable, okay?

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So I want you all to think about that

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when you approach dating

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and the growth that you're gonna experience in dating.

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What if it's not the opposite?

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What if it's exactly the same thing as working out?

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What if that discomfort that you're feeling in dating

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isn't an immediate conclusion that the relationship is wrong?

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You're doing something wrong.

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Oh, maybe I shouldn't date.

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Oh, I'm gonna shut down.

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I'm not cut out for this.

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Oh, these apps, they just never work.

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I'm gonna get off of them.

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Oh, I'm gonna run away and run away from the hills.

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Maybe I'm not ready for that.

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What if we were like, maybe that's not an indication

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that discomfort isn't that what it's indicating,

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but it's actually showing us

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that dating is actually a classroom

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that God's using us,

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using dating to prepare us for a healthy relationship.

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Love story.

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What if that dating is the classroom?

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He's saying, come sit with me in this classroom.

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It's uncomfortable,

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but I'm here to prepare you for what healthy love.

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and your love story can look like. It's going to require some work. If you're a student,

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you still have to do some work. So if we look at it from that lens, I want you to really sit with

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that because God has sent us, God will reveal things before dating. He did that in your phase

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There's a lot of amazing breakthrough that you ladies have experienced in phase one

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and you're going to continue to experience breakthrough and the ebbs and flows of dating

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when you're not dating, when you are dating all that before you date and meet your spirit mate,

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God is going to reveal amazing things. He's also going to reveal things in the, in the process

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of dating through the dating process, because here's a fun fact, ladies ready for it is what

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I had to learn and I'm living it. God will reveal things while you're in marriage.

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And you ladies that have been married before, you know, I was never married before.

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So I've been married now we're going on three years in September.

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And I would love to tell you it's been rainbows and butterflies, and it's just been absolutely

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fabulous. There have been amazing moments. Absolutely. I am so blessed and so thankful.

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And I wouldn't have that if I didn't have this community,

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but it wouldn't be an honest testimony. If I didn't tell you there wasn't challenges and there

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wasn't areas where it was hard. And there was things that God had to use to heal me in and

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that he still is working in me, in my husband, in my kids that I had this facade thinking,

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Oh, I did the heart work. God brought me the husband. It, nothing is going to be as difficult

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as the single season that I just literally had to spend 40 years going through.

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I'm like, I arrived, I did the heart work. I was a single mom for so long. Like I got this,

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you know? Oh no. Let me tell you. Jackie isn't joking when she says, and when like God has

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spoken this to her and I'm like, Oh, she knows like, this is definitely from the Lord.

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Marriage is God's maturity plan for mankind.

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It truly is. And so I'm like, Oh my goodness. Like I was like, I'm thankful for the heart work

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that I did prior. I'm also sitting there thinking, man, I wish I would've done a little bit more

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heart work before. All right. That doesn't mean that it is not been fruitful and there's not

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been great blessings in it. God has done an amazing, amazing thing and amazing work in

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myself and my husband and my kids and our family as a whole. But I'm saying that because

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I really want you to grasp the understanding that the discomfort isn't something to be scared of.

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It's actually something to like really invite that invitation and that opportunity

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because it is such a blessing and such a gift

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to accept before you walk into marriage, like the, the, the fruit and the harvest that you'll

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get in your marriage by sitting in the discomfort now is going to be abundant. I promise you that.

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So I want to, um, give you the three, um, different types of discomfort. Okay. So these

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are going to be important and they're going to be important for you to grasp for our activation.

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Okay. I'm gonna try to move through these as quickly as I can. Um, the first one is there

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is growth discomfort. Okay. That's going to come from doing something healthy and it's going to

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feel unfamiliar. Okay. So examples of this is setting boundaries, um, maybe receiving instead

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of overgiving, um, allowing a man to lead. That might be something new for you. Um,

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staying open a little longer instead of shutting down,

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that might feel unfamiliar and it's actually healthy.

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Or the flip side of that is if you're someone

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that kind of sticks around too long,

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when you should like send somebody on their way,

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is learning to let go and create those boundaries

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like I shared that first example,

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like being able to set boundaries.

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Another thing is like trusting God

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instead of controlling outcomes,

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that might be new and unfamiliar for you,

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but it's actually really healthy.

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Y'all, that's a season that I'm in right now,

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as a wife, as a mother, as a blended mother, okay?

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Trusting that God's in control,

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that I don't have to operate

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and being responsible for all of it, okay?

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And maybe moving slower

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than what your old pattern preferred.

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You might be like, I'm gonna rush in.

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That was me, ladies.

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I was the kissing bandit.

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I was like, I'm all about making out, let's go.

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Let's like, I'm ready, like, woo.

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You know, I was like,

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I wanna attach to you really quickly.

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I had to be like, okay, pump the brakes, Carla.

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So I had to learn how to do that.

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And I was uncomfortable at first.

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Some of you might be like, no, I'm like always at that.

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So you might have to get comfortable,

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like opening yourself up a little more

385
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and being a little bit more vulnerable

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and taking a little bit more of a risk.

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So it's gonna look different for everybody, okay?

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But discomfort is part of the process in phase two,

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just is, okay?

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And so that's that growth discomfort.

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And so what is healthy doesn't feel familiar.

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And so that's why there's that discomfort there.

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And so we spent so many years in our unhealthy patterns

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from the trauma that we've experienced,

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from the beliefs that we were, that got rooted and planted.

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And those patterns started feeling normal.

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And so now we're trying to break those patterns.

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We're trying to break those habits.

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You know, I'm teaching my kids right now

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how to transition from school to summer mode,

401
00:37:34.840 --> 00:37:36.360
but still staying responsible.

402
00:37:36.360 --> 00:37:38.520
Like me and my husband just had to have a conversation

403
00:37:38.520 --> 00:37:43.320
with our kids, like, hey, you're 10, almost 11,

404
00:37:43.320 --> 00:37:47.160
14, almost 15, 16, almost 17.

405
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We're gonna give you a little bit more freedom.

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If you wanna stay up later,

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we're gonna let you manage that.

408
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But you are still going to be in the habit

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of waking up at a decent hour.

410
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You can't, you're not gonna stay up till midnight.

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My 16 year old, I think he was up until like two

412
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or three in the morning.

413
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And I'm like, y'all aren't gonna stay up that late

414
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and then think you're gonna, you know, wake up,

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like wake up at noon.

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00:38:16.360 --> 00:38:20.800
Uh-uh, mama got a call today, y'all out of the house.

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Doesn't happen.

418
00:38:23.200 --> 00:38:26.120
I told them, I'm like, I was up all night working

419
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and I don't think I went to bed

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until like five or six in the morning.

421
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I'm like, but my butt was still up at nine o'clock.

422
00:38:31.840 --> 00:38:35.360
You still have responsibility, you have to get in the habit.

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00:38:35.360 --> 00:38:37.800
I'm like, there is, is it uncomfortable?

424
00:38:37.800 --> 00:38:39.960
Yeah, it also been really uncomfortable

425
00:38:39.960 --> 00:38:41.480
if I just didn't sleep at all.

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So I had to make a choice, like,

427
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and so it's really important that you're learning

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00:38:48.680 --> 00:38:51.320
to break certain patterns and habits.

429
00:38:51.320 --> 00:38:53.040
And so there will be discomfort there.

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There will be some stretching, some growing

431
00:38:57.680 --> 00:38:59.560
because when God is teaching us something new,

432
00:38:59.560 --> 00:39:01.800
it's not, there's gonna be vulnerability there.

433
00:39:01.800 --> 00:39:03.680
It's gonna be awkward, okay?

434
00:39:03.680 --> 00:39:07.200
So the question I'm gonna ask you,

435
00:39:07.200 --> 00:39:12.200
what healthy thing might feel uncomfortable

436
00:39:15.440 --> 00:39:16.840
just because it's new?

437
00:39:19.680 --> 00:39:23.520
What is God highlighting to you now

438
00:39:27.520 --> 00:39:31.440
that's something healthy for you to start working on

439
00:39:33.640 --> 00:39:37.480
and it feels uncomfortable because it's just new.

440
00:39:37.480 --> 00:39:39.440
It's not something you're used to.

441
00:39:41.800 --> 00:39:43.200
Go ahead and share that in the chat

442
00:39:43.200 --> 00:39:45.040
if you have something that comes up.

443
00:39:45.920 --> 00:39:50.920
Because discomfort is not always a warning sign, ladies.

444
00:39:53.080 --> 00:39:56.080
I want you to, again, I'm gonna repeat this.

445
00:39:56.080 --> 00:39:58.320
It's evidence that you're growing.

446
00:40:00.240 --> 00:40:04.160
beyond your old pattern and habits. Okay.

447
00:40:07.760 --> 00:40:11.200
So continue to keep putting those things in the chat. I'm going to move on to our next

448
00:40:12.080 --> 00:40:21.680
discomfort and that's going to be a healing discomfort. Okay. And what that is going to

449
00:40:21.680 --> 00:40:30.640
look like is as you start dating, it's going to start surfacing some revealing for healings.

450
00:40:31.520 --> 00:40:37.440
And so what that could look like is the man's taken longer to respond. If you have a date

451
00:40:37.440 --> 00:40:44.880
that gets canceled, if someone's expressing interest at an accelerated pace, or if someone's

452
00:40:45.600 --> 00:40:51.360
losing interest and not at the pace that you want, um, there's all different scenarios.

453
00:40:51.360 --> 00:40:55.920
And I see that frequently with what you ladies are sharing.

454
00:40:57.680 --> 00:41:04.640
Something is happening. The guy is showing up in some way, shape, or form, and it's revealing

455
00:41:06.400 --> 00:41:11.760
something uncomfortable, a response in you. That's like, I don't like this.

456
00:41:11.760 --> 00:41:21.680
That's where this is a healing, a healing discomfort because something deep is getting

457
00:41:21.680 --> 00:41:27.520
activated. And so that might be a fear of rejection. It might be a fear of abandonment,

458
00:41:28.080 --> 00:41:34.320
a fear of not being chosen, a fear of wasting time. That's a huge one. I mean, y'all I've been

459
00:41:34.320 --> 00:41:40.880
coaching in here for almost three years. Now that waste of time is huge. Part of that, I think it's

460
00:41:40.880 --> 00:41:47.520
just because we're women and we have, especially if we naturally want to be mothers or we just,

461
00:41:47.520 --> 00:41:53.520
we naturally have that in us and we have a biological clock, if you will. So I like,

462
00:41:53.520 --> 00:41:57.680
sometimes I wonder if that's just how we're programmed is to kind of feel like we're on a

463
00:41:57.680 --> 00:42:05.120
time, a clock. Like, so we're worried about wasting time. We don't have all this time on earth,

464
00:42:05.120 --> 00:42:09.600
you know, and I, and I get that, you know, that was, that was me. I was, you know,

465
00:42:09.600 --> 00:42:14.560
I was hitting, getting up in my forties and I only, you know, I, I, I did have a child,

466
00:42:14.560 --> 00:42:20.240
but I wasn't married, you know, like that was one area. And, you know, I could go on about that too,

467
00:42:20.240 --> 00:42:26.480
about how some, how insecurity was living in me for not having been married and having a child

468
00:42:26.480 --> 00:42:34.000
out of wedlock. Um, but that's a whole nother theme, um, that we won't get into, but it was,

469
00:42:34.640 --> 00:42:42.400
I, I wanted another child. I thought I wanted to birth another child. And then I got this,

470
00:42:42.400 --> 00:42:46.000
you know, Oh my gosh, am I going to have enough time? I'm not meeting anybody. What if I,

471
00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:50.320
I can't get pregnant and blah, blah, blah, you know, all of those, what ifs, what ifs, what ifs,

472
00:42:51.280 --> 00:42:57.440
I got to control this. And instead it was like, God's like, can you just, can you just release

473
00:42:57.440 --> 00:43:05.200
this and let me get this covered? Like, just, I know your heart. I know your desire because I put

474
00:43:05.200 --> 00:43:12.560
it there. I know you want more children. And God even told me I was going to have more kids.

475
00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:19.680
I'm like, Oh, but I heard you. What if you don't deliver on that? And God's like, no, I,

476
00:43:20.400 --> 00:43:28.000
I'm not a liar. He's like, and you know, ladies, he brought me all these dates of men who had

477
00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:34.480
vasectomies and couldn't have kids or, or I would stating younger guys. And I was like, there's no,

478
00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:40.880
like these guys don't want to chance it with someone who's almost in their forties or I had

479
00:43:40.880 --> 00:43:46.240
a lot of Christian men didn't want to date a woman who was never married and had a kid already.

480
00:43:46.240 --> 00:43:50.640
Like there was so many things that I could have been like, see God, you're not going to deliver.

481
00:43:50.640 --> 00:43:59.600
Oh, that's not going to happen. Finally. Thankfully I was spending time with the Lord

482
00:43:59.600 --> 00:44:04.080
when I met my husband, because I was ready to cut and run for my husband soon as I was introduced to

483
00:44:04.080 --> 00:44:11.520
him. Like for weeks, I was like trying to find reasons to not meet up with him or to find

484
00:44:11.520 --> 00:44:20.320
something wrong. And he had a vasectomy and I just kind of let all that go. Cause I was like,

485
00:44:20.320 --> 00:44:23.760
oh, he lives in Texas and I live in Florida and I never really wanted to move anyway.

486
00:44:25.520 --> 00:44:31.280
We ended up meeting in person and hit it off very, very well. Like after I got through several weeks

487
00:44:31.280 --> 00:44:40.400
of me trying to overanalyze and control and do all of those things and having Jackie and many

488
00:44:40.400 --> 00:44:45.120
of the women in the community, like talk me off the ledge and just be like, Carla, it's, it's a

489
00:44:45.120 --> 00:44:52.640
date. It's not, you don't have to marry this man. I mean, lo and behold, I did, but it, I was

490
00:44:54.480 --> 00:44:59.760
kind of fast forwarding all of the anxiousness.

491
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.320
before it needed to be there.

492
00:45:02.320 --> 00:45:04.360
Like it didn't even need to be there.

493
00:45:04.360 --> 00:45:09.360
And so when I, when we hit it off and we started talking

494
00:45:09.800 --> 00:45:12.760
and we had the conversation as we were, you know

495
00:45:12.760 --> 00:45:15.440
moving forward in a relationship that was leading

496
00:45:15.440 --> 00:45:17.960
to exclusivity and looking at, you know,

497
00:45:17.960 --> 00:45:22.680
potential engagement, the question did come up about kids.

498
00:45:22.680 --> 00:45:25.940
And my husband was like, I'm not having more kids.

499
00:45:25.940 --> 00:45:28.400
I've had his vasectomy, I'm not having more kids.

500
00:45:28.400 --> 00:45:30.580
And he was very honest with me, he's like,

501
00:45:30.580 --> 00:45:32.860
that is something that you really do need to decide

502
00:45:32.860 --> 00:45:34.560
because he's like, that's not changing for me.

503
00:45:34.560 --> 00:45:37.340
And I'm not going to keep you from that.

504
00:45:37.340 --> 00:45:39.880
But if that's, I mean, he really was like

505
00:45:39.880 --> 00:45:42.360
you need to go pray about that.

506
00:45:42.360 --> 00:45:44.480
He didn't tell me what I wanted to hear.

507
00:45:44.480 --> 00:45:46.160
Cause I had friends in my ears.

508
00:45:46.160 --> 00:45:47.880
I mean, good friends.

509
00:45:47.880 --> 00:45:50.360
I mean, some even were in this community.

510
00:45:50.360 --> 00:45:53.680
Oh, well God can change his heart.

511
00:45:53.680 --> 00:45:57.000
He can reverse that vasectomy.

512
00:45:57.000 --> 00:46:02.000
And God was like, no, you don't need to listen

513
00:46:02.080 --> 00:46:04.280
to that noise, you come to me.

514
00:46:04.280 --> 00:46:06.120
And I was like, okay, I hear you.

515
00:46:07.000 --> 00:46:08.280
And God spoke to me and he's like,

516
00:46:08.280 --> 00:46:11.540
Carla, you did hear me correctly.

517
00:46:11.540 --> 00:46:13.600
I said, you were going to have more kids.

518
00:46:14.640 --> 00:46:17.920
You just assumed that you were going to birth them.

519
00:46:17.920 --> 00:46:20.480
And I never told you, you were going to birth them.

520
00:46:21.700 --> 00:46:23.760
But he's got two kids

521
00:46:23.760 --> 00:46:26.000
and they don't have a mother on this earth

522
00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:28.720
but I've chosen you to be their mother.

523
00:46:28.720 --> 00:46:30.220
Those kids need you.

524
00:46:31.520 --> 00:46:36.520
I've made you all for a purpose on purpose.

525
00:46:39.600 --> 00:46:42.920
He's like, it doesn't look the way you thought it was

526
00:46:42.920 --> 00:46:47.680
but it doesn't mean that my promise is void.

527
00:46:47.680 --> 00:46:49.720
I'm still delivering on my promise.

528
00:46:49.720 --> 00:46:51.020
You have to trust me.

529
00:46:52.560 --> 00:46:54.280
Y'all, that was the biggest mic drop

530
00:46:54.600 --> 00:46:59.360
in band-aid rip or like, sometimes I like to think sometimes

531
00:46:59.360 --> 00:47:01.600
Jesus loves me, but sometimes I sometimes feel

532
00:47:01.600 --> 00:47:03.880
like he likes to just kind of like

533
00:47:03.880 --> 00:47:06.840
give me like a little smack in the face,

534
00:47:06.840 --> 00:47:11.040
like a loving parent, like, you know,

535
00:47:12.200 --> 00:47:15.400
honey, a little pat on the butt, like sort of thing.

536
00:47:15.400 --> 00:47:18.320
And so that was like, oh, wow.

537
00:47:18.320 --> 00:47:19.960
Okay.

538
00:47:19.960 --> 00:47:24.960
I had to work and grow in that.

539
00:47:25.120 --> 00:47:26.000
I don't even know where,

540
00:47:26.000 --> 00:47:27.320
like I wasn't even gonna tell that story.

541
00:47:27.320 --> 00:47:29.120
So that was Holy Spirit right there.

542
00:47:30.880 --> 00:47:33.160
And now I just got to pick up where I left off.

543
00:47:33.160 --> 00:47:37.380
So again, sorry about that ladies.

544
00:47:37.380 --> 00:47:39.840
Hopefully that spoke to somebody,

545
00:47:39.840 --> 00:47:43.840
but going back, healing, discomfort

546
00:47:43.840 --> 00:47:48.840
and that temptation is, we're going to have that temptation

547
00:47:49.000 --> 00:47:51.080
to make the discomfort about our situation.

548
00:47:51.080 --> 00:47:52.680
And sometimes it's just not about the situation.

549
00:47:52.680 --> 00:47:56.080
It's about God is going to reveal something

550
00:47:56.080 --> 00:47:58.800
that is getting activated deeper

551
00:47:58.800 --> 00:48:01.360
that he wants to heal in us.

552
00:48:01.360 --> 00:48:06.360
And a lot of that for me was trusting the timing,

553
00:48:06.880 --> 00:48:10.540
trusting God with the control.

554
00:48:11.920 --> 00:48:14.320
And that's what he was growing in.

555
00:48:14.320 --> 00:48:16.760
And then once I got through that,

556
00:48:16.760 --> 00:48:20.120
then I fully was able to receive that gift

557
00:48:20.120 --> 00:48:25.120
and hold the capacity of what marriage looks like.

558
00:48:26.860 --> 00:48:30.640
And so coaching question for you all now,

559
00:48:30.640 --> 00:48:32.400
I'm gonna go back and look at what y'all responded

560
00:48:32.400 --> 00:48:33.320
to the last one.

561
00:48:35.020 --> 00:48:40.020
Is the discomfort coming from what is happening right now

562
00:48:41.660 --> 00:48:44.240
in the situation in that moment?

563
00:48:45.240 --> 00:48:47.280
So this is a question you might be asking

564
00:48:47.280 --> 00:48:48.920
when you feel the discomfort

565
00:48:48.920 --> 00:48:50.940
and maybe you are feeling discomfort right now.

566
00:48:50.940 --> 00:48:53.120
So this might be a question for you.

567
00:48:53.120 --> 00:48:56.920
Or is the discomfort revealing something

568
00:48:56.920 --> 00:48:59.840
that has been living in your heart for a long time?

569
00:49:03.520 --> 00:49:06.360
Because dating won't create the wound,

570
00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:09.400
it often reveals it.

571
00:49:10.240 --> 00:49:14.400
God cannot heal what we refuse to acknowledge.

572
00:49:14.400 --> 00:49:19.180
Ladies, if you avoid acknowledging it, it won't go away.

573
00:49:21.800 --> 00:49:26.800
I was in this community for a handful of months

574
00:49:29.260 --> 00:49:31.640
dodging some of the discomfort.

575
00:49:31.640 --> 00:49:35.360
So I say that from a place of experience,

576
00:49:35.400 --> 00:49:40.400
not a place of criticism or condemnation

577
00:49:42.040 --> 00:49:44.280
or trying to put you in a place of shame.

578
00:49:44.280 --> 00:49:47.280
I'm saying it because I lived it.

579
00:49:49.360 --> 00:49:50.920
I avoided it.

580
00:49:50.920 --> 00:49:52.760
I didn't wanna look at it.

581
00:49:52.760 --> 00:49:54.120
It was uncomfortable.

582
00:49:54.120 --> 00:49:58.020
I didn't want to go there, okay?

583
00:49:59.000 --> 00:50:00.240
But I wouldn't be doing.

584
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:11.400
my job as your coach, if I wasn't transparent and saying, Hey, God wants you healed more

585
00:50:11.400 --> 00:50:18.920
than you want to be married. And he's going to do it. All right. No matter how stubborn

586
00:50:18.920 --> 00:50:26.280
you are. All right. And I know because I'm stubborn and, um, yeah. And those, those wounds

587
00:50:26.280 --> 00:50:31.240
aren't there because of the situation you're in. They're there because they happened and

588
00:50:31.240 --> 00:50:37.000
got rooted. And so those things will continue to show up. And then if you get married, it's

589
00:50:37.000 --> 00:50:42.080
going to show up in your marriage too. So be prepared for it to get revealed one way

590
00:50:42.080 --> 00:50:48.300
or another. It's just going to be a lot easier to handle it now than to keep carrying it

591
00:50:48.300 --> 00:50:53.400
and handling it when you're in a covenant, because that now you're, you're in a covenant,

592
00:50:53.400 --> 00:50:59.040
you're in a relationship with someone and, and it's not just about you anymore. Okay.

593
00:50:59.040 --> 00:51:06.800
So, okay. I'm going to go back and see what some of you ladies have posted and then, um,

594
00:51:06.800 --> 00:51:13.240
if everybody can go ahead and mute, I think some people are, are, are not muted. Um, let's

595
00:51:13.240 --> 00:51:19.560
see. I hear many people say that are the challenges about marriage specific or about life and

596
00:51:19.560 --> 00:51:28.560
relationship generally. So Fran, are you still here with us, Fran? Hi. Um, I see you now. Um,

597
00:51:29.640 --> 00:51:34.160
challenges in marriage. I mean, it's, it's some stuff is about life and some of it is a

598
00:51:34.160 --> 00:51:42.040
relationship. I mean, it is relationship. It is marriage is the most intimate relationship

599
00:51:42.760 --> 00:51:51.160
that you will find yourself in, in, on, on this side of heaven. It is when I think of marriage,

600
00:51:51.160 --> 00:51:56.840
it really is the perfect image of God, like besides our relationship with God, which is

601
00:51:57.400 --> 00:52:06.600
like the most important, the next relationship is that marriage is that marriage relationship,

602
00:52:07.560 --> 00:52:16.200
obviously God and yourself, but then it's that sacrificial relational love. It's that

603
00:52:16.200 --> 00:52:22.920
submissive love. It's like all of those things, like all wrapped into one. And it's, it's a,

604
00:52:22.920 --> 00:52:29.080
it's a growing, it's a refining it's that iron sharpens iron. It's, you know, it's,

605
00:52:30.200 --> 00:52:34.520
you know, my, my husband was married before and he was in a marriage that was a really

606
00:52:34.600 --> 00:52:41.320
challenging marriage, um, for 11 years. So he has the experience of like, look, it's

607
00:52:42.280 --> 00:52:49.000
when you're in it, you're in it for death. Do you part? And, and for him, that's what happened.

608
00:52:49.000 --> 00:52:59.240
Like his late, his wife passed away. Um, and he, he would have stuck through it, but it was,

609
00:52:59.240 --> 00:53:11.160
it was hard. It was challenging for him. And so now God has used his walk, his situation,

610
00:53:11.160 --> 00:53:17.160
everything that happened, he's, he's getting a redemption story out of it. He's getting to

611
00:53:17.160 --> 00:53:22.120
reconcile things. He's getting to redeem things that were stolen from the previous. He's getting

612
00:53:22.200 --> 00:53:28.680
to, um, correct things and repent from things that he did prior. Like he's getting to break

613
00:53:28.680 --> 00:53:35.960
off things that, you know, he held onto because that restoration is coming now into what God wants

614
00:53:35.960 --> 00:53:40.680
to bring him with this marriage now. And I'm getting the same thing with some of my past

615
00:53:40.680 --> 00:53:49.720
relationships. And so it, it is really, it it's all encompassing. I don't know if that answers

616
00:53:49.720 --> 00:53:56.360
your question. I, we can always talk about a little later if you want a little bit more detail,

617
00:53:56.360 --> 00:54:03.880
but, um, I hope that gives y'all a little bit of a framework. Um, um, it could be both one or the

618
00:54:03.880 --> 00:54:09.080
other. Usually God shows you something. He does it for a reason. It could be informative to equip

619
00:54:09.080 --> 00:54:15.000
you to handle a situation. Um, it could be convictions so you can repent. I love that.

620
00:54:15.000 --> 00:54:19.800
I got to show me a lot of that this week. I actually even just had a conversation

621
00:54:19.800 --> 00:54:26.680
with my husband about, and our kids about conviction versus condemnation and conviction

622
00:54:26.680 --> 00:54:36.040
leads us to repentance. Um, and, um, when we have condemnation and shame, it actually, it,

623
00:54:36.040 --> 00:54:43.480
it, it doesn't lead us to that. So, um, that's good lean into the Lord and receive his healing.

624
00:54:43.480 --> 00:54:48.200
What are you being taught here is valuable and will prepare you for this process you

625
00:54:48.200 --> 00:54:53.480
encounter in marriage. It's absolutely nothing to fear. In fact, what Carla is teaching is very

626
00:54:53.480 --> 00:54:58.440
instructive for this process. I look back at my single life prior to marriage and realize how

627
00:54:58.440 --> 00:54:59.800
specific God was.

628
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.840
to show me things that needed to be revealed before I met my husband.

629
00:55:03.840 --> 00:55:05.760
I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that.

630
00:55:05.760 --> 00:55:07.400
Who was that from, Peggy?

631
00:55:07.400 --> 00:55:09.600
Thank you so much. I appreciate you.

632
00:55:11.600 --> 00:55:12.640
Good, good stuff.

633
00:55:12.640 --> 00:55:14.760
I love it. Good, good, good.

634
00:55:14.760 --> 00:55:16.800
OK, so we got those two now.

635
00:55:16.800 --> 00:55:19.520
The last one is the discomfort.

636
00:55:19.520 --> 00:55:22.400
That is actually a warning sign.

637
00:55:22.920 --> 00:55:26.480
OK, so I don't want you ladies to.

638
00:55:26.480 --> 00:55:31.120
Discount that.

639
00:55:32.400 --> 00:55:35.640
There are red flags.

640
00:55:36.400 --> 00:55:40.880
There are times when there is something uncomfortable

641
00:55:40.880 --> 00:55:42.400
and God is going to

642
00:55:44.880 --> 00:55:48.400
give you discomfort for some discernment. OK.

643
00:55:51.440 --> 00:55:53.760
There will be times that your your spirit's

644
00:55:53.760 --> 00:55:55.600
going to notice something and it's important.

645
00:55:56.760 --> 00:56:00.560
OK, I want you ladies to be mindful of.

646
00:56:00.680 --> 00:56:05.360
Are you frequently leaning to that that you're not looking at the other two?

647
00:56:06.680 --> 00:56:13.480
OK, I I can frequently lean on my discernment gifts.

648
00:56:14.720 --> 00:56:19.920
And. Like oftentimes believe

649
00:56:19.960 --> 00:56:21.960
like I'm always having to be on alert.

650
00:56:22.600 --> 00:56:27.640
And while the discernment is there to give us the warning

651
00:56:27.640 --> 00:56:31.560
and the alertness so we can pray into it and we can, you know,

652
00:56:31.560 --> 00:56:35.720
can we plan and prepare and trust and, you know, take the action steps

653
00:56:35.720 --> 00:56:36.920
that are needed.

654
00:56:38.280 --> 00:56:40.280
We have to be mindful that it's not.

655
00:56:41.320 --> 00:56:45.080
Distorting what God is really also trying to do,

656
00:56:45.080 --> 00:56:46.840
and he could be trying to heal us.

657
00:56:46.840 --> 00:56:48.680
He could be trying to grow us.

658
00:56:48.680 --> 00:56:50.680
It may not be a warning sign.

659
00:56:50.680 --> 00:56:52.200
It may be something else.

660
00:56:52.200 --> 00:56:55.800
And so I don't want us to neglect the other two.

661
00:56:56.600 --> 00:56:58.760
But I also don't want you to discount.

662
00:57:00.280 --> 00:57:02.680
That discomfort can be a warning sign, too.

663
00:57:03.400 --> 00:57:09.080
OK, so examples of when it's going to be a warning sign is when you're seeing

664
00:57:09.080 --> 00:57:11.720
repeated inconsistency.

665
00:57:14.040 --> 00:57:15.640
If someone is.

666
00:57:16.200 --> 00:57:16.760
Someone is.

667
00:57:18.520 --> 00:57:19.800
Violating boundaries.

668
00:57:22.280 --> 00:57:24.920
If there's manipulation occurring.

669
00:57:27.160 --> 00:57:27.640
Pressure.

670
00:57:29.560 --> 00:57:31.720
Y'all, this one comes up often.

671
00:57:32.360 --> 00:57:33.480
You will find a lot of it.

672
00:57:33.480 --> 00:57:35.720
Oh, yeah, I'm so open to waiting for marriage and.

673
00:57:37.640 --> 00:57:38.600
Month or two in.

674
00:57:39.960 --> 00:57:42.600
Oh, they start changing their story.

675
00:57:42.600 --> 00:57:45.000
They start prompting and asking other questions.

676
00:57:45.000 --> 00:57:47.960
They start, you know, and then there's feels this pressure.

677
00:57:47.960 --> 00:57:51.240
Oh, I mean, I've had it where women have.

678
00:57:52.760 --> 00:57:55.400
You know, gotten to know someone,

679
00:57:55.400 --> 00:57:58.200
and then it comes out that someone has struggled with pornography.

680
00:58:00.600 --> 00:58:05.800
And there have been some men that have shared that they struggle with pornography,

681
00:58:05.800 --> 00:58:10.120
and they have been teachable and open and holding themselves accountable,

682
00:58:10.120 --> 00:58:14.520
and they've been doing the work and they are getting healing.

683
00:58:15.080 --> 00:58:21.320
And they're not relying on the person that they're dating to heal that area.

684
00:58:21.320 --> 00:58:22.920
They're already doing the work.

685
00:58:23.720 --> 00:58:26.040
They're already holding themselves accountable.

686
00:58:26.040 --> 00:58:28.040
They're already owning that part.

687
00:58:31.720 --> 00:58:33.320
I've walked women through that.

688
00:58:34.120 --> 00:58:38.920
One lady that I coach frequently one-on-one now, she's engaged now.

689
00:58:38.920 --> 00:58:39.960
It happened for her.

690
00:58:40.600 --> 00:58:43.160
And he is he's got someone he's accountable to.

691
00:58:43.880 --> 00:58:47.160
It's not something that he's had an issue with for several years.

692
00:58:48.280 --> 00:58:50.200
They've had some things that have come up,

693
00:58:50.200 --> 00:58:51.960
and they've been able to talk through them.

694
00:58:52.520 --> 00:58:54.920
There's been grace and space for it.

695
00:58:54.920 --> 00:58:57.160
He's been open and honest about it.

696
00:58:57.160 --> 00:59:00.440
He is showing consistent, healthy behavior.

697
00:59:02.680 --> 00:59:03.720
It can happen.

698
00:59:05.080 --> 00:59:09.000
I've also coached women that find this out.

699
00:59:09.960 --> 00:59:13.640
And then the man is like, oh, I need you to help me be accountable.

700
00:59:17.000 --> 00:59:19.880
No, that is not okay.

701
00:59:21.560 --> 00:59:26.520
Then, oh, well, if you know, I mean, I could tell you story after story,

702
00:59:26.520 --> 00:59:30.360
but I don't want I want us to try to stay as much on time as possible

703
00:59:30.360 --> 00:59:32.840
because I literally said I was going to try to do that.

704
00:59:34.600 --> 00:59:37.000
So that's an example of a warning sign.

705
00:59:37.000 --> 00:59:41.880
Lack of integrity, emotional instability in the hot and cold behavior.

706
00:59:44.040 --> 00:59:46.600
This you don't want to ignore that discomfort.

707
00:59:46.600 --> 00:59:48.440
You just want to get curious about it.

708
00:59:49.080 --> 00:59:53.880
This is when you are going to slow down and gather information.

709
00:59:53.880 --> 00:59:56.200
You're going to watch for the patterns.

710
00:59:56.200 --> 00:59:58.920
One moment.

711
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.000
Doesn't mean it's a warning sign.

712
01:00:04.000 --> 01:00:06.000
You slow down.

713
01:00:06.000 --> 01:00:08.000
It's a caution.

714
01:00:09.000 --> 01:00:14.000
And you start looking like, okay, I'm going to discern

715
01:00:16.000 --> 01:00:19.000
growth, healing and warning.

716
01:00:19.000 --> 01:00:21.000
Chrissy, that's what it was.

717
01:00:23.000 --> 01:00:26.000
You're looking for the patterns.

718
01:00:26.000 --> 01:00:29.000
You're not going to jump from one incident

719
01:00:29.000 --> 01:00:30.000
and draw a conclusion.

720
01:00:30.000 --> 01:00:33.000
You're not going to just draw an assumption.

721
01:00:33.000 --> 01:00:36.000
This is why pacing is important in those level two,

722
01:00:36.000 --> 01:00:37.000
getting to know you.

723
01:00:37.000 --> 01:00:40.000
This is why we don't want you attaching quickly

724
01:00:40.000 --> 01:00:44.000
and deep diving into sharing information

725
01:00:44.000 --> 01:00:46.000
that's not necessary.

726
01:00:46.000 --> 01:00:48.000
You want to keep some things surface level.

727
01:00:48.000 --> 01:00:50.000
You don't want to be talking every day.

728
01:00:50.000 --> 01:00:53.000
You really do want to pace that, okay?

729
01:00:54.000 --> 01:00:58.000
So your coaching question for this is,

730
01:00:58.000 --> 01:01:03.000
is this discomfort inviting me to grow

731
01:01:03.000 --> 01:01:07.000
or is this asking me to pay attention to something?

732
01:01:09.000 --> 01:01:11.000
It's asking you to pay attention.

733
01:01:11.000 --> 01:01:13.000
This is when you slow down, get curious,

734
01:01:13.000 --> 01:01:15.000
gather more information.

735
01:01:15.000 --> 01:01:17.000
And ladies, I'm going to tell you,

736
01:01:17.000 --> 01:01:19.000
this is when you want to like,

737
01:01:19.000 --> 01:01:24.000
you ladies need to be showing up in community here.

738
01:01:24.000 --> 01:01:26.000
We are your blind spots.

739
01:01:26.000 --> 01:01:31.000
We are here to help, okay?

740
01:01:32.000 --> 01:01:34.000
Okay, just a couple more things.

741
01:01:35.000 --> 01:01:38.000
Conviction versus condemnation.

742
01:01:41.000 --> 01:01:42.000
One of the most important questions

743
01:01:42.000 --> 01:01:44.000
that you're going to want to ask yourself is,

744
01:01:44.000 --> 01:01:48.000
what is the discomfort producing?

745
01:01:48.000 --> 01:01:50.000
This is important, okay?

746
01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:54.000
Discomfort is going to produce one of two things.

747
01:01:54.000 --> 01:01:58.000
It's going to either produce condemnation,

748
01:01:58.000 --> 01:01:59.000
shame, guilt, all that stuff.

749
01:01:59.000 --> 01:02:01.000
And that's going to sound like you're failing,

750
01:02:01.000 --> 01:02:05.000
you're behind, you're doing something wrong.

751
01:02:05.000 --> 01:02:06.000
You're not going to get this right.

752
01:02:06.000 --> 01:02:08.000
You're not ready for marriage.

753
01:02:08.000 --> 01:02:09.000
You're never going to get married.

754
01:02:09.000 --> 01:02:10.000
Nobody's going to choose you.

755
01:02:10.000 --> 01:02:12.000
That is all coming from the enemy.

756
01:02:12.000 --> 01:02:15.000
That is all shame, guilt, condemnation.

757
01:02:16.000 --> 01:02:20.000
That's what the discomfort is producing.

758
01:02:20.000 --> 01:02:22.000
You need to recognize that

759
01:02:22.000 --> 01:02:25.000
because that's some deeper hard work stuff.

760
01:02:25.000 --> 01:02:28.000
That's some identity stuff.

761
01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:33.000
Or the discomfort is going to produce conviction.

762
01:02:33.000 --> 01:02:34.000
Okay, because the condemnation

763
01:02:34.000 --> 01:02:37.000
is going to push you away from God.

764
01:02:37.000 --> 01:02:39.000
It's going to get you not to trust him.

765
01:02:39.000 --> 01:02:40.000
That was me.

766
01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:41.000
I did not have a lot of,

767
01:02:41.000 --> 01:02:42.000
one, I didn't trust people.

768
01:02:42.000 --> 01:02:44.000
Most certainly didn't trust men.

769
01:02:44.000 --> 01:02:48.000
Most certainly didn't trust God.

770
01:02:48.000 --> 01:02:52.000
So I had a lot of areas I had to work on.

771
01:02:52.000 --> 01:02:54.000
I had a lot of that discomfort

772
01:02:54.000 --> 01:02:55.000
caused a lot of condemnation

773
01:02:55.000 --> 01:02:57.000
and pushed me away from God.

774
01:02:57.000 --> 01:02:58.000
Really had me attaching

775
01:02:58.000 --> 01:03:00.000
to some of those lies and disbeliefs

776
01:03:00.000 --> 01:03:03.000
that got rooted early, early, early on

777
01:03:03.000 --> 01:03:07.000
in my life through other things.

778
01:03:07.000 --> 01:03:13.000
Conviction is going to draw you towards God.

779
01:03:14.000 --> 01:03:16.000
And that's going to sound like,

780
01:03:16.000 --> 01:03:20.000
hey, let's look at this.

781
01:03:20.000 --> 01:03:22.000
Okay, there's something here

782
01:03:22.000 --> 01:03:24.000
I want to show you.

783
01:03:24.000 --> 01:03:27.000
I want you to learn something.

784
01:03:27.000 --> 01:03:28.000
There's something here

785
01:03:28.000 --> 01:03:30.000
I want to heal in you.

786
01:03:30.000 --> 01:03:32.000
Come closer to me.

787
01:03:32.000 --> 01:03:33.000
You're my daughter.

788
01:03:33.000 --> 01:03:34.000
You're precious.

789
01:03:34.000 --> 01:03:35.000
I love you.

790
01:03:35.000 --> 01:03:38.000
I have good gifts for you.

791
01:03:39.000 --> 01:03:43.000
That's what you're looking for.

792
01:03:43.000 --> 01:03:45.000
Okay?

793
01:03:45.000 --> 01:03:47.000
If the discomfort shows up,

794
01:03:47.000 --> 01:03:48.000
you need to ask yourself,

795
01:03:48.000 --> 01:03:50.000
is it pushing me away from God

796
01:03:50.000 --> 01:03:52.000
or towards him?

797
01:03:52.000 --> 01:03:54.000
Is it leading me to condemnation

798
01:03:54.000 --> 01:03:57.000
or conviction?

799
01:03:57.000 --> 01:04:02.000
If it's condemnation, don't hide.

800
01:04:02.000 --> 01:04:04.000
Share it with us.

801
01:04:04.000 --> 01:04:05.000
Let us work through

802
01:04:05.000 --> 01:04:07.000
heartwork stuff with you.

803
01:04:07.000 --> 01:04:09.000
That's what we're here for.

804
01:04:09.000 --> 01:04:10.000
And it doesn't mean that

805
01:04:10.000 --> 01:04:12.000
that relationship that's showing up

806
01:04:12.000 --> 01:04:14.000
doesn't mean that it's not like

807
01:04:14.000 --> 01:04:16.000
the guy is not a healthy guy,

808
01:04:16.000 --> 01:04:17.000
even if you really like him

809
01:04:17.000 --> 01:04:19.000
or whatever have you.

810
01:04:19.000 --> 01:04:20.000
Y'all, I'm married,

811
01:04:20.000 --> 01:04:22.000
and I can tell you

812
01:04:22.000 --> 01:04:23.000
there have been some things

813
01:04:23.000 --> 01:04:25.000
that have come up in me

814
01:04:25.000 --> 01:04:27.000
that have led me to condemnation.

815
01:04:27.000 --> 01:04:28.000
That doesn't mean that

816
01:04:28.000 --> 01:04:32.000
I chose the wrong husband.

817
01:04:32.000 --> 01:04:34.000
It just means God is like,

818
01:04:34.000 --> 01:04:36.000
I'm using this relationship,

819
01:04:36.000 --> 01:04:41.000
and you're in a safe place

820
01:04:41.000 --> 01:04:42.000
to have relationship.

821
01:04:42.000 --> 01:04:43.000
Because guess what?

822
01:04:43.000 --> 01:04:44.000
My relationship with God

823
01:04:44.000 --> 01:04:46.000
does not go away.

824
01:04:46.000 --> 01:04:49.000
I still have to prioritize

825
01:04:49.000 --> 01:04:50.000
my intimate relationship

826
01:04:50.000 --> 01:04:51.000
with the Lord.

827
01:04:51.000 --> 01:04:55.000
I cannot idolize my husband.

828
01:04:55.000 --> 01:04:57.000
My relationship with my husband

829
01:04:57.000 --> 01:04:58.000
isn't first.

830
01:04:58.000 --> 01:05:00.000
My relationship with God is.

831
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.560
And when I wasn't doing that, a lot of that revealing for healing came because I was not

832
01:05:06.560 --> 01:05:09.000
able to trust God.

833
01:05:09.000 --> 01:05:10.920
So I had to get right with him.

834
01:05:10.920 --> 01:05:14.640
I had to heal some things between me and God.

835
01:05:14.640 --> 01:05:23.280
And now I'm blessed and I'm thankful and my testimony is it's bearing fruit and abundance

836
01:05:23.280 --> 01:05:30.040
in my marriage because I'm choosing to work on me.

837
01:05:30.040 --> 01:05:34.620
I'm not asking my husband to change because I feel a certain way.

838
01:05:34.620 --> 01:05:40.080
I'm going to the Lord and saying, help me build this relationship with you, with the

839
01:05:40.080 --> 01:05:46.320
struggles I have with you, God, heal me.

840
01:05:46.320 --> 01:05:50.960
And I get, I get that invitation.

841
01:05:50.960 --> 01:05:56.000
And then the last thing I'm going to say is staying in the process is going to matter.

842
01:05:56.000 --> 01:06:02.000
Ladies like the one thing I'm noticing coaching in this community and walking in this community

843
01:06:02.000 --> 01:06:11.800
is that the women who experienced the greatest exhilarations are the ones that don't avoid

844
01:06:11.800 --> 01:06:14.080
the discomfort.

845
01:06:14.080 --> 01:06:18.160
Don't be afraid to show up in the discomfort.

846
01:06:18.600 --> 01:06:25.000
Don't run, just like keep showing up, ask the questions, stay vulnerable, do all the

847
01:06:25.000 --> 01:06:29.440
things, you know, let some band-aids come off.

848
01:06:29.440 --> 01:06:33.840
You know, I'm I'm the band-aid ripper.

849
01:06:33.840 --> 01:06:36.000
I am.

850
01:06:36.000 --> 01:06:42.920
All right, I'm the mama that's going to let me get it right off.

851
01:06:42.920 --> 01:06:48.120
Like bite, bite a pillow, squeeze my hand, if you have to, I'll give you my

852
01:06:48.120 --> 01:06:50.040
hand while I rip your band-aid off.

853
01:06:50.040 --> 01:06:54.600
You can squeeze my hand as hard as you need to.

854
01:06:54.600 --> 01:06:57.720
I'm here for you, OK?

855
01:06:57.720 --> 01:07:05.160
Because I have seen and I have done the hard work and I see what it produces.

856
01:07:05.160 --> 01:07:08.840
And the love stories that come from it, y'all are going to be so excited, you're gonna be

857
01:07:08.840 --> 01:07:12.120
like, oh, my gosh, I'm so thankful that I did this.

858
01:07:12.120 --> 01:07:15.680
I'm glad it only hurt for a minute.

859
01:07:15.680 --> 01:07:24.240
All right, so I really hope that this has given you some encouragement to, you know,

860
01:07:24.240 --> 01:07:26.320
just remind you it's not about staying.

861
01:07:26.320 --> 01:07:27.920
It's not about being comfortable.

862
01:07:27.920 --> 01:07:35.480
It's about being, you know, it's about being comfortable in the uncomfortable, like it's

863
01:07:35.480 --> 01:07:38.200
not about, you know, trying to make that feeling go away.

864
01:07:38.200 --> 01:07:46.480
It's really about like inviting God into what he's asking you to partner with him in.

865
01:07:46.480 --> 01:07:50.440
And so don't run.

866
01:07:50.440 --> 01:07:53.400
Get curious.

867
01:07:53.400 --> 01:08:00.240
Stay surrendered, supernatural surrender that y'all learn that phase one and partner with

868
01:08:00.240 --> 01:08:01.240
God.

869
01:08:01.240 --> 01:08:02.720
OK, ladies.

870
01:08:02.720 --> 01:08:11.080
So I got five hands, so we're going to get through these right short, brief and powerful.

871
01:08:11.080 --> 01:08:13.440
It's almost day on task.

872
01:08:13.440 --> 01:08:20.399
And then our activation is going to be a stretch and discern challenge.

873
01:08:20.399 --> 01:08:24.040
You're going to choose one healthy stretch this week.

874
01:08:24.040 --> 01:08:27.399
It doesn't have to be anything big, OK?

875
01:08:27.399 --> 01:08:36.040
It's just pick something that feels uncomfortable that but it's going to align with growth.

876
01:08:36.040 --> 01:08:41.000
OK, some examples, you can go on a date, OK?

877
01:08:41.000 --> 01:08:43.120
Maybe you haven't been on a date and you're like, OK, I'm going to stretch myself.

878
01:08:43.120 --> 01:08:45.279
I'm going to go on a date.

879
01:08:45.279 --> 01:08:48.140
Maybe it's updating your dating profile.

880
01:08:48.140 --> 01:08:50.279
Maybe it is jumping on online.

881
01:08:50.279 --> 01:08:54.479
Maybe it's setting a boundary.

882
01:08:54.479 --> 01:08:56.700
Maybe it's setting a boundary with a family member.

883
01:08:57.000 --> 01:08:58.660
Maybe it's setting a boundary with a friend.

884
01:08:58.660 --> 01:09:01.120
It doesn't have to be dating, OK?

885
01:09:01.120 --> 01:09:03.740
What is something God wants to grow you in?

886
01:09:03.740 --> 01:09:08.460
And it's you're going to you're going to step into some discomfort, OK?

887
01:09:08.460 --> 01:09:11.460
Maybe it's receiving help.

888
01:09:11.460 --> 01:09:18.180
Maybe it's getting vulnerable in the app and in showing up more frequently in our app.

889
01:09:18.180 --> 01:09:27.740
I want you to do something that God is just prompting you specifically, OK?

890
01:09:27.740 --> 01:09:29.660
Doesn't have to look a certain way.

891
01:09:29.660 --> 01:09:39.180
So do the stretch and then you are going to you're not going to the goal is not going

892
01:09:39.180 --> 01:09:41.319
to be to eliminate that discomfort immediately.

893
01:09:41.319 --> 01:09:48.020
You're going to sit in that journal, pray, come here, let us know what's going on.

894
01:09:48.020 --> 01:09:50.380
And you will learn from it.

895
01:09:50.380 --> 01:09:57.860
And I want you to identify what kind of discomfort it is.

896
01:09:57.860 --> 01:10:00.020
Is it a growth?

897
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:08.320
discomfort. Is it a healing discomfort or is it a discernment discomfort like that warning sign?

898
01:10:09.360 --> 01:10:15.040
Okay. Um, and then you're going to share that in our app. So I will get that posted later tonight,

899
01:10:15.040 --> 01:10:19.840
um, probably between eight, nine o'clock, um, that's central. So probably like nine,

900
01:10:19.840 --> 01:10:24.400
10 o'clock after the ladies had their evening call. Cause I don't want to give the activation

901
01:10:24.400 --> 01:10:32.720
too soon. So I will post that, um, later this evening. So you'll have that. Um, but okay.

902
01:10:32.720 --> 01:10:37.680
I got a few more questions. So now we definitely we're moving, moving and grooving. Okay. Dana,

903
01:10:37.680 --> 01:10:43.440
Lucy, Fran, I got you three. And then we're going to try to make room for Cynthia, Nancy, Peggy,

904
01:10:43.440 --> 01:10:52.720
and Donna. Um, if you want ladies, um, put your question in the chat. Cause I will go and snag

905
01:10:52.720 --> 01:10:59.360
those before I log off. Cause I can always address those in the app if I need to. Okay.

906
01:10:59.360 --> 01:11:06.720
Or I can address them. Um, if there's time and you have to jump off. Okay. Um, but I'm gonna,

907
01:11:06.720 --> 01:11:12.240
I, I think we should at least have time for Dana, Lucy, and Fran, but Cynthia, Nancy, Peggy,

908
01:11:12.240 --> 01:11:16.400
and Donna put them in the chat. We're going to do our best to get through everybody.

909
01:11:17.360 --> 01:11:26.080
How are you Dana? What's your question? Um, hi Carla. Um, it's not so much a question. Um,

910
01:11:27.280 --> 01:11:31.520
my I've had some health challenges, which is why I haven't been around in the last

911
01:11:31.520 --> 01:11:37.360
month. And later this week, I will find out if, um,

912
01:11:38.320 --> 01:11:52.320
I'll find out if I have cancer along with a whole bunch of other stuff and, um, sometimes I'm okay.

913
01:11:52.320 --> 01:12:00.880
And I'm not really scared, but today I'm really scared. So I don't know what I need.

914
01:12:01.600 --> 01:12:03.600
I'm going to pray for you. Can I pray for you?

915
01:12:04.000 --> 01:12:07.200
I'm going to pray for you. Can I pray for you? Yes, please.

916
01:12:08.880 --> 01:12:13.120
Heavenly father. I just, I lift up our sister Dana father to you,

917
01:12:15.520 --> 01:12:17.680
Lord. I just ask that you comfort her heart.

918
01:12:21.520 --> 01:12:24.080
Give her the peace that surpasses all understanding. Lord,

919
01:12:26.800 --> 01:12:28.560
Lord, you are healer.

920
01:12:28.800 --> 01:12:30.320
You are our doctor.

921
01:12:33.200 --> 01:12:40.000
You are the great physician father. You can produce miracles and

922
01:12:43.520 --> 01:12:47.120
you've already healed Dana.

923
01:12:49.680 --> 01:12:54.240
And Lord, I just ask that, that healing be

924
01:12:54.640 --> 01:12:59.680
that healing be manifested here on earth. Father

925
01:13:02.880 --> 01:13:16.640
Lord, I, I thank you that she has you, her source in moments where there is discomfort father,

926
01:13:16.800 --> 01:13:25.200
but you don't leave us. You don't forsake us. You are in the storm with us.

927
01:13:28.000 --> 01:13:38.080
And so father, I just, I thank you that Dana is here with us and that she is continuing to

928
01:13:38.160 --> 01:13:41.440
grow and heal and stay open and being vulnerable

929
01:13:43.040 --> 01:13:51.840
and reaching out here in community for support. Lord, I just ask that you remind her. She has

930
01:13:52.880 --> 01:14:01.840
a massive community that's here to support her and lift her up. We are here every day praying.

931
01:14:02.080 --> 01:14:09.680
We are lifting her up every day. She doesn't have to be alone. Not only are you with her,

932
01:14:09.680 --> 01:14:18.800
but you have brought her angels to walk this season with her Lord. And I just,

933
01:14:19.600 --> 01:14:23.760
I even thank you for the time that when I was in this community

934
01:14:23.760 --> 01:14:27.520
and one of the sisters that I built relationship with,

935
01:14:29.520 --> 01:14:33.520
she was experiencing something very, very similar Lord.

936
01:14:35.520 --> 01:14:45.520
And I'm so thankful for the testimony and the power and the miracle that happened through her.

937
01:14:45.520 --> 01:14:59.680
And that same story, if it can happen to her, it's going to happen for Dana. Lord, there is nothing

938
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:11.200
No weapon the enemy tries to use against us that you cannot use to prosper us, Lord.

939
01:15:11.200 --> 01:15:17.280
You turn all things for your good, and I thank you for that, Father.

940
01:15:17.280 --> 01:15:26.920
Lord, I ask that you speak to the women in this community and highlight certain women

941
01:15:26.920 --> 01:15:33.700
that will speak to Dana, that will reach out to Dana, that Dana will have certain women

942
01:15:33.700 --> 01:15:39.480
highlighted to her, that women will feel Dana highlighted to them, and that they step into

943
01:15:39.480 --> 01:15:43.000
some discomfort and they reach out and they connect, Lord.

944
01:15:43.000 --> 01:15:47.980
Lord, I just pray and I just really truly believe that this is an opportunity for you

945
01:15:47.980 --> 01:15:54.400
just to grow healing and community, that there's women in here that need healing and community

946
01:15:55.400 --> 01:15:58.320
and in this season, that's what you're going to bring, Father.

947
01:15:58.320 --> 01:16:04.800
Lord, I thank you that we don't have to do this alone and that we get to be with you

948
01:16:04.800 --> 01:16:06.720
and with each other.

949
01:16:06.720 --> 01:16:11.080
In Jesus' mighty name, amen.

950
01:16:11.080 --> 01:16:15.040
Dana, we got you, girl.

951
01:16:15.040 --> 01:16:17.840
Thank you for sharing.

952
01:16:17.840 --> 01:16:21.400
That's discomfort.

953
01:16:21.400 --> 01:16:23.720
That's hard, ladies.

954
01:16:24.720 --> 01:16:28.400
That's hard to share.

955
01:16:28.400 --> 01:16:32.000
And we got you.

956
01:16:32.000 --> 01:16:37.560
Anytime you feel that weight, reach out.

957
01:16:37.560 --> 01:16:38.560
Okay.

958
01:16:38.560 --> 01:16:39.560
Thank you.

959
01:16:39.560 --> 01:16:40.560
Yes, I will.

960
01:16:40.560 --> 01:16:41.560
Thank you.

961
01:16:41.560 --> 01:16:42.560
All right.

962
01:16:42.560 --> 01:16:43.560
You're welcome.

963
01:16:43.560 --> 01:16:44.560
All right, Lucy.

964
01:16:44.560 --> 01:16:45.560
How are you?

965
01:16:45.560 --> 01:16:46.560
Glad to see you.

966
01:16:46.560 --> 01:16:51.560
I don't know if you're able to unmute.

967
01:16:51.560 --> 01:16:52.560
Yes.

968
01:16:52.560 --> 01:16:53.560
Sorry.

969
01:16:54.400 --> 01:16:55.400
It's tricky.

970
01:16:55.400 --> 01:16:58.400
I was desperately trying to unmute.

971
01:16:58.400 --> 01:16:59.400
Yes.

972
01:16:59.400 --> 01:17:00.400
So, hi.

973
01:17:00.400 --> 01:17:01.400
It's good to see everybody.

974
01:17:01.400 --> 01:17:02.400
Yes.

975
01:17:02.400 --> 01:17:04.120
So, here's my question.

976
01:17:04.120 --> 01:17:11.440
I posted in the group a long time ago and I'm not sure if it, I reached out to a serious

977
01:17:11.440 --> 01:17:13.720
boyfriend of mine from 12 years ago.

978
01:17:13.720 --> 01:17:14.720
Okay.

979
01:17:14.720 --> 01:17:20.400
He was, yeah, we had been serving overseas in a country.

980
01:17:20.400 --> 01:17:22.360
His visa had ended.

981
01:17:22.400 --> 01:17:26.960
He dated me long distance, nine months, and then was, had flown all the way back.

982
01:17:26.960 --> 01:17:33.560
Anyway, it's a whole story, but he was, yeah, on the verge of moving back to my country

983
01:17:33.560 --> 01:17:38.720
and had made repeated trips back to see me.

984
01:17:38.720 --> 01:17:42.240
And I broke his heart because I broke up because I was scared.

985
01:17:42.240 --> 01:17:48.800
So, after doing a lot of healing and heart work, I realized that the one person that

986
01:17:48.800 --> 01:17:52.040
consistently was always in my mind to reach out to is him.

987
01:17:52.720 --> 01:17:53.720
So, I did.

988
01:17:53.720 --> 01:17:58.440
Things basically didn't go anywhere until a guy friend told me like, hey, you should

989
01:17:58.440 --> 01:18:02.880
actually let him know why you've reached out because you're in a danger zone in his brain.

990
01:18:02.880 --> 01:18:07.480
You broke his heart 12 years ago massively.

991
01:18:07.480 --> 01:18:09.560
And so, I did.

992
01:18:09.560 --> 01:18:17.600
And he actually was in the U.S. in LAX two weeks ago, and I said I'd be willing to see

993
01:18:17.600 --> 01:18:21.320
him as a friend because he had said he's not really in a season of dating.

994
01:18:21.320 --> 01:18:26.120
He has a lot of fear towards dating and moving toward marriage.

995
01:18:26.120 --> 01:18:31.840
So, I said, and I just felt faith to say like, okay, I can go see you as a friend who's important

996
01:18:31.840 --> 01:18:37.920
to me because God has me in my love story, and I won't look to you for that.

997
01:18:37.920 --> 01:18:41.240
Anyways, we immediately reconnected.

998
01:18:41.240 --> 01:18:49.680
It was like so easy, and both of us were shocked at just how easy it felt and peaceful and

999
01:18:49.680 --> 01:18:50.680
wonderful.

1000
01:18:51.680 --> 01:18:59.960
So, he still has that fear to work through, and I've been watching him do intentional

1001
01:18:59.960 --> 01:19:04.440
things, very slow paced, but very intentional.

1002
01:19:04.440 --> 01:19:07.000
He paid for my flights.

1003
01:19:07.000 --> 01:19:13.720
He's done, you know, he first of all wanted to see me.

1004
01:19:13.720 --> 01:19:19.080
He has been sending voice memos, which he felt very scared of, but he knows I prefer.

1005
01:19:19.760 --> 01:19:25.880
So, I'm seeing those things, and the pace feels annoyingly slow to me, and I'm also

1006
01:19:25.880 --> 01:19:31.360
saying things like I like video calls, and he's like hasn't stepped out to do that yet,

1007
01:19:31.360 --> 01:19:33.840
and we only saw each other again three weeks ago.

1008
01:19:33.840 --> 01:19:40.520
So, that's where we are, and I'm wondering what's realistic to expect in this stage,

1009
01:19:40.520 --> 01:19:43.640
and yeah, and he does have great mentors in his life.

1010
01:19:43.640 --> 01:19:44.640
So, I'm like, Lord.

1011
01:19:44.640 --> 01:19:45.640
Yeah.

1012
01:19:45.720 --> 01:19:49.440
So, see, there's some history here, so it's going to look a little different, ladies,

1013
01:19:49.440 --> 01:19:57.400
so this coaching will be a bit different, okay, because there's history there, and I

1014
01:19:57.400 --> 01:20:00.000
love that you are acknowledging.

1015
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:08.700
being like, Hey, I broke his heart. I had some fears. I'm

1016
01:20:08.700 --> 01:20:12.660
owning it. I'm I've done hard work. I'm acknowledging it.

1017
01:20:12.940 --> 01:20:17.380
You're not running from the acknowledgement of what you

1018
01:20:18.780 --> 01:20:22.660
you're holding yourself accountable. And so that's

1019
01:20:22.660 --> 01:20:28.340
important. Okay. So there is going to be that season

1020
01:20:28.340 --> 01:20:37.340
realistically of allowing someone space and grace is going

1021
01:20:38.140 --> 01:20:40.620
like, and we don't know what that's going to look like.

1022
01:20:40.740 --> 01:20:49.860
Right? So it's going to stretch you. You're going to like

1023
01:20:49.860 --> 01:20:52.020
you're noticing like, well, I want this and I want that

1024
01:20:52.020 --> 01:20:59.060
because you've worked through the hard work piece of what you

1025
01:20:59.060 --> 01:21:05.840
were experiencing. The hard work that you work through, you can

1026
01:21:05.840 --> 01:21:08.980
expect someone else to have worked at the same pace and rate

1027
01:21:08.980 --> 01:21:14.700
and time that you did. So it really is a discomfort of really

1028
01:21:14.700 --> 01:21:23.220
releasing him to God. You spending this time to really

1029
01:21:23.540 --> 01:21:33.260
focus in on continuing your healing in that recognizing any

1030
01:21:33.260 --> 01:21:38.340
triggers that led you because it's one thing when we can go

1031
01:21:38.340 --> 01:21:42.980
through hard work and recognize in hindsight when we're out of

1032
01:21:42.980 --> 01:21:47.540
the situation and recognize where, where did I, where did I

1033
01:21:47.540 --> 01:21:50.540
make mistakes? Well, like we can go and process through it

1034
01:21:50.540 --> 01:21:56.100
because we're not in that moment. Yeah. We're not feeling

1035
01:21:56.140 --> 01:22:00.580
the feels. The emotion isn't there. It's not heightened.

1036
01:22:00.620 --> 01:22:04.220
Okay. Because we've, we've moved out of that because we're not

1037
01:22:04.220 --> 01:22:07.700
that situation's not in it. Yeah. I have just now noticed

1038
01:22:07.700 --> 01:22:11.820
and this is distracting me that my I've got, it's probably my

1039
01:22:11.820 --> 01:22:16.020
computer. It literally moves and zones me out. So weird.

1040
01:22:16.060 --> 01:22:19.740
Sorry. That like, see, okay. I'm just not going to look at

1041
01:22:19.740 --> 01:22:21.980
myself. I didn't notice until now because I don't typically

1042
01:22:21.980 --> 01:22:30.060
look at myself. All right. Squirrel. So yeah, you it's,

1043
01:22:30.140 --> 01:22:35.260
it's going to look different because it really is you having

1044
01:22:35.260 --> 01:22:41.180
to allow someone else to heal at their own pace and he's going to

1045
01:22:41.180 --> 01:22:45.580
be the one. So one, he's the man and two, he's the one that

1046
01:22:45.580 --> 01:22:51.180
got hurt. So he's going to be kind of the one in charge of

1047
01:22:51.180 --> 01:22:56.460
leading the pace of that. But you, that doesn't mean that you

1048
01:22:56.460 --> 01:23:00.740
don't, don't get to have a voice and get to share. Honestly, I

1049
01:23:00.740 --> 01:23:06.100
don't want what to happen is that you turn your voice off and

1050
01:23:06.100 --> 01:23:10.780
don't share because of fear of hurting him again. Keep that in

1051
01:23:10.780 --> 01:23:18.340
mind. Do not fall into that trap that you now don't speak up

1052
01:23:18.340 --> 01:23:23.300
because you're afraid of hurting him. Yeah. We hurt people when

1053
01:23:23.300 --> 01:23:33.900
we are not honest. Yeah. That's not being honest is, is not

1054
01:23:33.940 --> 01:23:41.460
kind. And sometimes our honesty doesn't feel nice. Nice and

1055
01:23:41.460 --> 01:23:50.260
kind. Not the same thing. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. So give

1056
01:23:50.260 --> 01:23:54.580
yourself the grace and space. Give him some grace and space.

1057
01:23:55.260 --> 01:24:01.660
Really focus on your season and your intimacy with the Lord. Be

1058
01:24:01.660 --> 01:24:05.660
focused and don't be intentional about your own

1059
01:24:05.660 --> 01:24:09.820
triggers. Be open to the fact that there's going to be other

1060
01:24:09.820 --> 01:24:13.220
layers of your own healing and your acknowledgement and your

1061
01:24:13.220 --> 01:24:17.980
ownership of what, what the past relationship was like for

1062
01:24:17.980 --> 01:24:24.540
you. You'll hear Jackie talk about full circle moments, you

1063
01:24:24.540 --> 01:24:28.900
know, X's coming back together and, and reconnecting and

1064
01:24:28.900 --> 01:24:35.820
reconciling which has happened in our community. But it

1065
01:24:35.820 --> 01:24:42.780
happens when there's been healing and growth and change

1066
01:24:42.820 --> 01:24:51.620
in both people. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's communication is

1067
01:24:51.620 --> 01:24:57.780
important. So make sure that you are communicating. Okay. Yeah.

1068
01:24:57.780 --> 01:25:00.100
He opened that communication.

1069
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.920
and might look different for him. There might be some insecurity there. Yeah. Give a lot

1070
01:25:06.920 --> 01:25:16.840
of grace. Don't neglect yourself at the same time. I would say really stay tied into community.

1071
01:25:16.840 --> 01:25:24.720
I'm very thankful that you're back. Thank you. That's huge. Having this community to

1072
01:25:24.720 --> 01:25:33.040
walk through this season with you will be a gift. Thanks, Karla. You're welcome. Thank

1073
01:25:33.040 --> 01:25:41.680
you so much. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. Hey, Fran, how are you? Hi,

1074
01:25:41.680 --> 01:25:52.440
I'm good. How are you? Good. So my question is, I've never passed a second date with a

1075
01:25:52.440 --> 01:26:03.440
guy. I think I'd like to gain some insight as to why. And so that is my question. So when you

1076
01:26:03.440 --> 01:26:09.640
have never passed, well, I actually have passed a second date with maybe two or three guys. But

1077
01:26:09.640 --> 01:26:15.640
generally speaking, it's just one date and then that's it. So yeah, I don't know if you have any

1078
01:26:15.640 --> 01:26:24.840
insight to provide. I do. You want to know why? Because I oftentimes had one date and it never

1079
01:26:24.840 --> 01:26:38.040
went to a second date. My time and heart work often was that. And so I relate to that. What

1080
01:26:38.040 --> 01:26:42.760
is surfacing in you and what are some of the thoughts and beliefs that are coming up in you

1081
01:26:42.760 --> 01:26:54.280
that is repeating for you? Like what is the core thing that is making you want to focus on this?

1082
01:26:54.280 --> 01:27:02.560
Oh, I want to get married and I want to have kids. So I need to pass the second date and the third.

1083
01:27:02.560 --> 01:27:11.680
Okay. So what's the fear? What's the anxious thought? What's the belief? What are you believing?

1084
01:27:11.680 --> 01:27:23.840
Specifically to that, I don't know. But yeah, my fear would be to just five years from now,

1085
01:27:23.840 --> 01:27:28.600
look back and be like, I'm in the same spot and I haven't moved. So that's the biggest fear. And

1086
01:27:28.600 --> 01:27:32.440
that's the reason why I took this program. So the fear is maybe the time?

1087
01:27:32.440 --> 01:27:38.920
Yeah. I'm 36 years old, so I need to get going.

1088
01:27:38.920 --> 01:27:48.840
Girl, like that was me. That was me. You're speaking my language. Yeah, I totally relate

1089
01:27:48.840 --> 01:28:03.480
to that. What will be good for you in this season is I'm hearing the self-awareness piece.

1090
01:28:03.480 --> 01:28:12.360
It is really getting vulnerable and honest with the deep feeling and emotion that's tied

1091
01:28:12.440 --> 01:28:22.920
with what is going to happen if it doesn't happen quickly. What does that look like?

1092
01:28:25.880 --> 01:28:31.640
Really kind of spending time and saying, okay, what were the roots of some of this stuff?

1093
01:28:33.560 --> 01:28:38.440
What is my biggest fear? What am I most afraid of? Am I going to run out of time? Is it that

1094
01:28:38.440 --> 01:28:43.320
I'm not going to get to have kids? Is it that I don't trust that God's going to deliver? Is it

1095
01:28:43.320 --> 01:28:52.200
that I don't think there's a man out there for me? I want you to start spending time, journal,

1096
01:28:52.200 --> 01:29:05.480
get specific. When you go on dates, do you ever take time to journal what the date was like?

1097
01:29:06.200 --> 01:29:11.160
What you were feeling, what you experienced, what your behavior and actions were,

1098
01:29:13.000 --> 01:29:17.960
how they showed up and how you responded? Do you do any sort of journaling or processing?

1099
01:29:17.960 --> 01:29:21.880
Are you an external processor? Are you an internal processor? I know I just asked you

1100
01:29:21.880 --> 01:29:23.640
a bunch of questions. I'm going to stop there and let you respond.

1101
01:29:26.920 --> 01:29:33.000
In terms of my fear, I think I'm aware that my main fear is not being able to have kids.

1102
01:29:35.560 --> 01:29:41.160
The companionship piece is there, but I think it's very minimal. If there was no biological

1103
01:29:41.160 --> 01:29:46.520
clock, I would be waiting and just trusting that it will happen at some point. But because there

1104
01:29:46.520 --> 01:29:54.920
is the biological clock, that's the fear. Do you have plans of what you want your

1105
01:29:54.920 --> 01:29:58.840
life to look like? Would you say that? I always wanted to have children.

1106
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:02.640
I always felt that it was going to happen naturally.

1107
01:30:02.840 --> 01:30:04.760
I mean, that's what you do.

1108
01:30:04.960 --> 01:30:06.680
You know, you grow up, you get a job,

1109
01:30:06.680 --> 01:30:09.680
you get married, you have children and the cycle repeats.

1110
01:30:09.880 --> 01:30:11.920
But it's not as easy, it seems now.

1111
01:30:12.120 --> 01:30:13.360
So

1112
01:30:14.480 --> 01:30:17.520
so that's that in terms of

1113
01:30:17.800 --> 01:30:19.480
taking time to think after my dates.

1114
01:30:19.680 --> 01:30:22.640
No, I don't do that, but I do that

1115
01:30:22.880 --> 01:30:24.640
not right after a date, but I think

1116
01:30:24.840 --> 01:30:28.880
generally speaking, when I think about my situation and I go in

1117
01:30:29.040 --> 01:30:31.080
to just reflect and understand.

1118
01:30:31.280 --> 01:30:33.760
I know that most of my dates,

1119
01:30:33.960 --> 01:30:36.680
for most of my dates, physical attraction was not there.

1120
01:30:36.880 --> 01:30:38.600
So I know that it's a big part.

1121
01:30:38.800 --> 01:30:42.040
But getting a second date is not just doesn't just fall on me.

1122
01:30:42.240 --> 01:30:43.680
It also falls on the other person.

1123
01:30:43.880 --> 01:30:45.360
And do they?

1124
01:30:45.560 --> 01:30:46.320
Do they follow up?

1125
01:30:46.520 --> 01:30:50.000
So sometimes they do, and it's it's just me not wanting to move further.

1126
01:30:50.200 --> 01:30:53.520
But sometimes they just don't they just don't.

1127
01:30:53.720 --> 01:30:54.840
There's nothing like.

1128
01:30:55.040 --> 01:30:55.880
Yeah.

1129
01:30:56.080 --> 01:31:01.040
OK, so my advice and my encouragement to you is

1130
01:31:01.240 --> 01:31:04.120
how long have you been in phase two with us?

1131
01:31:05.520 --> 01:31:11.600
I started phase two at the end of April, so it's been OK, four or five weeks.

1132
01:31:11.800 --> 01:31:14.120
Yeah, it's not been long at all.

1133
01:31:14.320 --> 01:31:18.800
Are you in a season where you can put some intentional time to

1134
01:31:19.000 --> 01:31:24.520
showing up in the community and and being able to process through

1135
01:31:24.720 --> 01:31:29.560
some details of what you're experiencing on your dates?

1136
01:31:29.760 --> 01:31:33.040
What do you mean, just posting and just let us know what happens on the date,

1137
01:31:33.240 --> 01:31:36.280
like, hey, this is I met this guy, this is what we talked about.

1138
01:31:36.480 --> 01:31:37.600
This is what we did.

1139
01:31:37.800 --> 01:31:39.840
This is what my thoughts are.

1140
01:31:39.840 --> 01:31:41.920
These are the things that came up.

1141
01:31:41.920 --> 01:31:42.880
These are things I liked.

1142
01:31:43.080 --> 01:31:46.520
These are things I didn't just and you can go on the app and kind

1143
01:31:46.720 --> 01:31:51.120
of see how some other ladies do it, what naturally comes to you when you're

1144
01:31:51.120 --> 01:31:54.280
just like like if you're sharing with your girlfriends.

1145
01:31:54.480 --> 01:31:58.320
Like you share about my date, what did I do?

1146
01:31:58.520 --> 01:32:03.480
And let us I want to start seeing a snapshot of that.

1147
01:32:03.680 --> 01:32:08.440
So let Ebony and I can start seeing that and we can look for

1148
01:32:08.640 --> 01:32:14.040
certain things that are showing up and seeing if there's anything that

1149
01:32:14.240 --> 01:32:21.000
we see being highlighted and that will help us coach you better.

1150
01:32:22.000 --> 01:32:28.120
Does that sound like something that you are able to?

1151
01:32:28.320 --> 01:32:30.560
Commit to.

1152
01:32:30.760 --> 01:32:32.280
I think so.

1153
01:32:32.480 --> 01:32:37.120
I'm getting to like the challenge that Jackie sent was to get seven dates.

1154
01:32:37.320 --> 01:32:38.440
So I'm at five.

1155
01:32:38.640 --> 01:32:39.880
That's amazing.

1156
01:32:40.080 --> 01:32:41.440
I just have two more to go.

1157
01:32:41.640 --> 01:32:44.720
Girl, four or five weeks and you've got that girl.

1158
01:32:44.920 --> 01:32:48.560
I didn't get my seven dates for over a year.

1159
01:32:49.400 --> 01:32:51.840
So you're you're doing great.

1160
01:32:52.040 --> 01:32:55.600
So, yeah, just let us know like what those dates look like.

1161
01:32:55.800 --> 01:32:57.040
What are you experiencing?

1162
01:32:57.240 --> 01:33:01.680
Just it is kind of there might be some stretching and some vulnerability.

1163
01:33:01.880 --> 01:33:04.560
Like this is where that discomfort might be.

1164
01:33:04.760 --> 01:33:08.000
Like sharing some of those like details or not.

1165
01:33:08.200 --> 01:33:12.680
Like especially when it's a bunch of us that we don't like we're all on video.

1166
01:33:12.880 --> 01:33:15.640
We all live in different areas of the world.

1167
01:33:16.240 --> 01:33:22.720
And so kind of opening up and letting people see that can be intimidating,

1168
01:33:23.440 --> 01:33:25.160
but.

1169
01:33:25.360 --> 01:33:32.000
I will share that this having been in this community now over five years,

1170
01:33:32.200 --> 01:33:38.520
this is a very safe and sacred space that we really, really cherish and hold

1171
01:33:39.440 --> 01:33:41.640
hold that space.

1172
01:33:42.600 --> 01:33:44.120
That's extremely important.

1173
01:33:44.120 --> 01:33:48.440
And it's also one of the reasons why there is success here,

1174
01:33:49.400 --> 01:33:58.000
because it allows us to have that connection and it allows us to be able to see each

1175
01:33:58.200 --> 01:34:01.560
other's blind spots and pour those things in.

1176
01:34:01.760 --> 01:34:04.920
Like, I want to be able to

1177
01:34:06.400 --> 01:34:12.560
give you insight of like why it is that people don't move from more than one date.

1178
01:34:12.560 --> 01:34:13.760
It's.

1179
01:34:13.960 --> 01:34:16.560
It's different for everybody.

1180
01:34:16.760 --> 01:34:19.120
It really is.

1181
01:34:19.320 --> 01:34:22.840
And so until I can see.

1182
01:34:23.040 --> 01:34:24.720
What?

1183
01:34:25.040 --> 01:34:31.440
Shows up for you on dates like what what things you're reserved about, what what

1184
01:34:31.640 --> 01:34:37.200
guys you're what guys you're attracted to, what do you like, what do you not like,

1185
01:34:37.400 --> 01:34:42.080
what's showing up, how are your responses to those things?

1186
01:34:42.280 --> 01:34:45.040
That will tell us a lot.

1187
01:34:45.240 --> 01:34:46.960
So

1188
01:34:47.800 --> 01:34:50.520
I'm going to ask you to start there.

1189
01:34:51.240 --> 01:34:56.840
And if it's a stretch, even if it's just one post a week.

1190
01:34:58.160 --> 01:34:59.520
OK, now.

1191
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.080
don't like, I don't want you to feel overwhelmed by it. This

1192
01:35:03.080 --> 01:35:07.680
this might if that if this is that discomfort, I want you to

1193
01:35:07.680 --> 01:35:13.760
sit and process that and it's okay. Let us know. We're gonna

1194
01:35:13.760 --> 01:35:19.080
go at your pace. But we're here to help you. We're here to help

1195
01:35:19.080 --> 01:35:23.960
give you insight and help unlock anything that God wants to

1196
01:35:23.960 --> 01:35:32.240
reveal and and share that with you. Sound good? Thank you. You

1197
01:35:32.240 --> 01:35:35.680
are so welcome. All right. I see Cynthia, you posted your

1198
01:35:35.680 --> 01:35:39.040
question, Nancy, Peggy and Donna, if you can go ahead and

1199
01:35:39.040 --> 01:35:43.600
post your question as well. I'm about 10 minutes over. So I am

1200
01:35:43.600 --> 01:35:50.440
going to go ahead and cut us off. So if you can post your

1201
01:35:50.440 --> 01:35:54.400
question real quick in the chat, and I'll pull that off.

1202
01:35:54.400 --> 01:35:59.200
And then I'll see what I can try to post in the app specifically.

1203
01:36:00.440 --> 01:36:04.600
So be on the lookout for that. Or if you don't want to post it

1204
01:36:04.600 --> 01:36:09.560
here in the chat, you can make an additional post in the app

1205
01:36:09.560 --> 01:36:15.160
yourself. And then myself and Ebony can respond to that. And

1206
01:36:15.160 --> 01:36:19.160
then also Ebony is on this evening at eight o'clock

1207
01:36:19.200 --> 01:36:24.720
central. So that is always an option as well. I know a lot of

1208
01:36:24.720 --> 01:36:28.560
you ladies are doing the book club with Jackie, which is

1209
01:36:28.560 --> 01:36:31.720
exciting. I think my book is finally coming today, which I'm

1210
01:36:31.720 --> 01:36:38.240
super excited about. It got held up for like a little while but

1211
01:36:40.320 --> 01:36:43.280
oh my goodness, this new computer, I cannot figure this

1212
01:36:43.280 --> 01:36:52.360
out. I'm gonna have to figure something out. I definitely want

1213
01:36:52.360 --> 01:36:57.040
to be able to pull anything that I missed. Okay, so Nancy, you're

1214
01:36:57.040 --> 01:37:02.920
going to post in the app. Okay, Peggy, definitely. My schedule

1215
01:37:02.920 --> 01:37:06.640
is on there. And I'll go look at my schedule as well, just to

1216
01:37:06.640 --> 01:37:13.520
make sure that it really is like, set up. Because my son

1217
01:37:13.520 --> 01:37:19.280
has a baseball tournament this week, and I blocked off several

1218
01:37:19.280 --> 01:37:25.280
days, but I got game times. So I can honestly like open up more,

1219
01:37:25.280 --> 01:37:27.880
I don't have to block off the whole day because I know exact

1220
01:37:27.880 --> 01:37:31.280
times. So I'm going to go update that today. That's actually on

1221
01:37:31.280 --> 01:37:35.520
one of my post it notes. So I will make sure to do that. So if

1222
01:37:35.520 --> 01:37:40.960
you're looking at the resource tab and looking at the hire a

1223
01:37:40.960 --> 01:37:44.720
coach, and this goes for any ladies, that's if you're looking

1224
01:37:44.720 --> 01:37:47.640
to hire a coach that is under the resource tab. But if you

1225
01:37:47.640 --> 01:37:50.360
give me like an hour to go update my schedule, I can do

1226
01:37:50.360 --> 01:37:55.920
that. And yep, Nancy, you're going to be in the book club.

1227
01:37:55.920 --> 01:38:01.840
That's awesome. Okay, in the book club, you're not supposed

1228
01:38:01.840 --> 01:38:06.000
to date. Okay, I love it. Sounds good. Well, good thing

1229
01:38:06.040 --> 01:38:09.120
this challenge, I don't know if Sarah's still on in this

1230
01:38:09.120 --> 01:38:13.440
challenge. And this discomfort, you can find something to get

1231
01:38:13.440 --> 01:38:18.760
uncomfortable with, without dating. Girl, I know you can.

1232
01:38:19.720 --> 01:38:23.720
All right. Cynthia, I'm gonna get I'm gonna pull your question

1233
01:38:23.720 --> 01:38:29.040
and make sure I grab that. And so I will do my best to grab

1234
01:38:29.040 --> 01:38:32.760
that and respond to you in our app. Does that sound good?

1235
01:38:35.120 --> 01:38:39.120
Awesome. Yeah, because the and you have the situation. So I am

1236
01:38:39.120 --> 01:38:42.720
definitely going to want an update from you. Because I know

1237
01:38:43.320 --> 01:38:46.560
we talked a little bit last week. So yeah, definitely.

1238
01:38:46.560 --> 01:38:55.320
We'll, we'll put that. Yes. Okay. Okay. So yeah, I'll go

1239
01:38:55.320 --> 01:38:58.960
and do the best I can to answer your response in the app. And

1240
01:38:58.960 --> 01:39:03.000
then if you need to set up one on one coaching, you do that. Or

1241
01:39:03.000 --> 01:39:06.280
if you want to be like, we can, you know, kind of go back and

1242
01:39:06.280 --> 01:39:09.680
forth in the app as well. That's not going to be more of like

1243
01:39:09.680 --> 01:39:12.640
the right here right now. It like it's the time sometimes

1244
01:39:12.640 --> 01:39:15.840
it's like, you know, takes a little bit longer, but it's

1245
01:39:15.840 --> 01:39:20.200
available. Okay. I was let ladies know because some people

1246
01:39:20.200 --> 01:39:23.520
are like, well, I just want to sort this out. Like I want to

1247
01:39:23.520 --> 01:39:29.560
know now. So I want you ladies to be able to decide what is the

1248
01:39:29.560 --> 01:39:32.800
best scenario for you, what's going to give you the most peace

1249
01:39:32.800 --> 01:39:37.000
and relief, and what situation works best for you. So okay, I

1250
01:39:37.000 --> 01:39:40.000
grabbed that. So I will go look at that a little bit later and

1251
01:39:40.000 --> 01:39:43.640
get that up. And ladies, it was such an honor, such a pleasure.

1252
01:39:43.880 --> 01:39:48.400
And I look forward to catching up with y'all over throughout the

1253
01:39:48.400 --> 01:39:52.040
week, and then seeing y'all next week. All right, take care.

1254
01:39:53.520 --> 01:39:54.520
Transcribed by https://otter.ai