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Hi ladies. Welcome. Happy Monday. We're here for another heartwork session. Excited to

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be here tonight. My name is Bethany Cooper. I'm one of the master heartwork coaches here

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in the community. So if you've never met me before, welcome. It's nice to meet you. We'd

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love for you all to come on screen if you can. And I'm sure as we start to move forward,

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some more ladies will start joining us. Hi Ashley. Good to see you. Anyone joining us

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new for the first time? You've never been here for a live session before. Put that in

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the chat for me. Okay. That's what I thought. You were a new name and face there. Welcome

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Ashley for her first time. Anyone else joining us for your first live session? Just going

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to wait to make sure. Welcome back everyone else that's returning. We're glad to have

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you joining us again tonight. A couple housekeeping items. Again, we'll do this every week. You

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know, we just kind of cycle back through some and then sometimes we have new ones that you

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all haven't heard of before. But one of the reminders this week is just that during the

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heartwork course, we encourage you all to press pause on dating. You know, that means

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interacting on dating apps, trying to get, you know, meet guys out in public. It doesn't

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mean you can't say hi to someone, but we just don't want you to pursue a romantic relationship

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at this time. A lot of that comes from when you're in a heart healing process, there's

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a lot of stuff that's going to get stirred up in you. And if you try to meet someone

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during this time, most of the time you're going to attract someone that is not going

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to be ideal because you've got a lot of healing stuff, trauma things stirred up. And so one

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encourage you all to press pause on that. If you have someone approach you during this

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heart healing time and they seem amazing, we encourage you to still press pause on that.

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You can say, Hey, you seem like a really nice guy. I'm in the middle of some really important

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heart healing journey. I'm going to be doing this for several more weeks. If you're open

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to it, I would love to circle back to you after I'm done with this, this journey, because

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this really matters to me. Because here's the thing that happens. A lot of women will

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get into the fear mode of like, what if I don't act on this right now? I'm probably

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going to miss out on this guy. And he's amazing. And there's all this fear that gets stirred

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up that if you don't act right now that you're going to miss out. Well, let me just say this.

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That's not going to happen if you trust God with this process completely. We have women

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that have gotten tripped up while they're in the heart work, they meet someone, they

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start dating them, they get really off course, and it doesn't go well. It happens all the

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time y'all. And so we're trying to save you that on the front end. And for those of you

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that were dating someone when you came into the course, the dynamic is a little different,

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obviously, because you're already dating them. We're not saying you have to break up with

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them if they're a healthy person. What I want you to consider is the person that you're

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dating. Are you in a currently healthy relationship with them and dynamic? Are they someone that

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is mature, masculine, marriage minded? Or are you in a situation ship and unhealthy

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dynamic for some reason, whether that's on your part or their part. And so you really

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want to look at that and be really open minded. And I would encourage you doesn't mean again,

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that you have to break up with them. But I would encourage you to create some space

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during this time. Again, if you were dating someone before you came into the heart work,

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where you would just create space in that relationship to really give yourself time

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to identify what's getting uncovered in your heart. And what is God trying to do in you

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during this season? All right. And then we encourage you to invest in self care on this

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healing journey. It's really important ladies to drink plenty of water, okay? Lots of water

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getting extra rest, eating healthy food as much as possible. Little snacks throughout the day are

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going to be a game changer for you. Because when you're processing a lot of trauma, you're going

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to have a lot of toxins released into your system. So even moving your body, exercise, walking,

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that kind of stuff, it's going to help get that stuff out of your body and your system.

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Highly recommend for those of you that, you know, might start to feel brain fog,

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or you might just feel really overwhelmed and down like you can't move forward.

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Try drinking some detox tea, try getting some extra rest, try going for a walk to kind of just

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step away for a little bit and then kind of re-come back in. Most times you're going to feel

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a little recalibration that will happen there. Supernatural Saturday, if you haven't heard it

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from this last Saturday, if you're brand new, all of our replays from Supernatural Saturday and our

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heart check-ins like this are going to help.

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be under the replay tab in our last year single app, okay? So that's where you'll find those.

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This last Saturday was Living Supernatural Lives. Really great, you all. And Jackie even talked in

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there about, you know, really looking at your friendships, not even just romantic relationships,

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but your friendships and believing for God to supernaturally bring healthy friends into your

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lives. And so I believe that'll be a really strong blessing to your life as you lean into that and

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check that out. All right, let me pray for us and then we'll go into the content for tonight.

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Father, thank you so much. Thank you for this night. Thank you for this day that you have made.

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God, let us rejoice and be glad in it. God, I pray that tonight that you would just continue

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to reveal areas for healing. God, that you would bring things out of darkness into the light. Help

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us to see what we couldn't see before. Yes, Lord, bring the unknown factors to the surface, things

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that are causing us to get hung up, the hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Help us to recognize areas

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where we have partnered with lies and unbelief, doubt, limiting belief systems, things that, again,

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just cause us not even to see you correctly, God. We thank you for transforming us by the renewing

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of our minds that all old things are passing away. And behold, everything is becoming new in you and

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through you. By your grace, God, we are enabled to walk into the victory of the life you have for us,

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God, the abundant life, the good, good life. God, we thank you that you would just continue to be with us.

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We thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here tonight. Have your way, walk among us, weave in and out of

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conversations, let everything land on people's hearts the way they need it. We thank you, God,

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that you are the one that is the great physician. Nothing is too hard for you. Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord,

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we thank you that you're rewriting stories even now, God, that you're preparing hearts for what

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you have for them. Give them the capacity to receive the revelation and the truth of it.

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In Jesus name, amen. Amen. Again, would love you all to join us on screen. We have

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Ashley and Kiera on screen with me tonight. Anyone else want to join us on screen?

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Would love to see you. Welcome for those of you that have joined in the last few minutes. So glad

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to see you all tonight. So we're going into tonight what I call the story of Candice, God

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Cares and Broken Promises. That's how I title this session. I love talking about this topic. I love

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talking about all the topics, but this one in particular is one that I have found a lot of

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people really struggle with the promises of God. They really do because they actually don't believe

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that God is good. We believe it a lot of times in our head, and because we go to church and we're

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told God is good all the time. I don't know if you've ever been raised in a church where that's,

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I mean, you say it all the time, and we know we do know that he's good, but in our hearts, down in

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our subconscious, there's lies that we're believing that are causing us to not partner with God is

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good. And so that tends to kind of circumvent the things that God is trying to do in our lives. And

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so in the heartwork, as for those of you that are new, you might not have heard this yet, but you will,

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there is a story that Jackie tells about Candice. So I'm not going to go into the whole

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story tonight, because if you haven't heard it, I just want you to hear it first from her,

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but I like to touch on this story because here are some of the main points.

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God knows what we need, God knows where we are, and God knows how to get us what we need where

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we're at. So in the story of Candice, Jackie was telling this story of God was speaking to her

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about Candice. Candice is going to be there, and she needs healing, but she didn't know where

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God was talking about, and she didn't know who Candice was. And so this whole story that Jackie

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kind of walks us through in the heartwork was really at the core about God showing Jackie

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the lengths that he will go to and through to get people healing, to get people to freedom,

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and he orchestrated several different things to lead Jackie to the person that he was talking

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about. And so you'll hear that story in there for those of you that have been in the heartwork for

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a little while, you probably know that story really well. But what I want you to think about

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as we're stepping further into the content for tonight, I want you just to ask yourself where

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you're at. Even in the last few weeks, what is something, a promise from God that I've been

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doubting? Where, you know, something happens in life, maybe you're even, I don't know about you

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all, but for those of you that are new, you wouldn't know this, but a couple weeks ago,

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I was really sick. My husband and I were both very sick. We had a really hard time getting over it.

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And, uh, three weeks in, I was starting to feel really just down and frustrated

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that I was still not feeling good.

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So tired, I'm still showing up to do the work and all the things,

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but just felt so depleted.

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And, uh, I was talking to Jackie about that today and because something

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she said made me realize like, Oh, I bet that I, that is why I was feeling

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down because I was sick for several weeks.

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And, you know, when you're kind of tearing and tearing, you can

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start to feel kind of really down, especially when your body is compromised.

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Right.

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And so, for example, the reason I'm sharing that is during those weeks, I

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found myself struggling with things that I know are certain that God is working

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on, not in the sense that I didn't think God would come through necessarily,

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but I just kind of felt that hopeless feeling, even though I know, and I can

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things that God is working on.

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And so I want you all to see the physical element here.

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And Jackie talks about that in the story of Elijah and was so interesting.

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Um, Jackie shared a couple stories on Saturday that I just like, God led me to

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include in a different session I led on Thursday night.

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And so I just thought that was so cool how God was like saying the same thing

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through both her and I, and just different ways.

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And so, you know, be thinking about, you know, what are some

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things that you've faced recently?

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That have caused you to question God's promises for you.

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Okay.

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You see God doing things for other people, but you tend to struggle to

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believe he's going to come through for you.

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Um, so some of the things that I want you to prepare your heart for as we're

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unpacking this tonight is that God wants to reveal to you all the areas that you

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struggle to believe that not only does he care about your needs, but he also

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cares about your wants.

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And for some of us, especially if you grew up having to take care of yourself

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or you had any kind of abandonment or rejection, um, from parents or guardians,

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people that were supposed to take care of you actually harmed you, you know,

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there's all this stuff where it's very hard.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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I believe God might meet my needs, but we struggle to believe that he

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will actually give us our wants.

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I was just talking to Brian about this.

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Cause we're in the middle of a foster, uh, to adopt licensing process.

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And the woman that was here today was talking to us and she was doing her job.

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She was doing all the things, telling us all the things she's supposed to

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do, because there's no guarantee you could foster and that child could

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go back to their parent.

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And, and that is the goal.

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That is the goal of fostering.

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But the reality is, is that we are hoping to adopt.

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Okay.

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And so, um, she's saying all the things to us today that she's supposed to say.

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And I'm starting to feel as she was talking longer and longer about it, I

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started feeling this like frustration in my spirit, like almost, like I said, I

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feel like she was trying to like, get us to not do this, like, that's how it felt.

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That's how it just felt so intense in that moment.

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And I'm sharing this with you because the more I processed it as the day went on,

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I know that I have to be in touch with reality.

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It's good to keep us, you know, really good, solid head.

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You know, we might have placements where they do go back to their biological

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parents, but I also believe that God could bring children to us that are going to be

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ready to have that foster to adopt be the, be the end goal.

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So again, it doesn't mean we won't have placements on the way to that, but I just

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felt this thing rise up in my spirit this afternoon after she left, like, like God

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kind of was whispering to me, like, you know, I'm working behind the scenes.

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Like, and so it's, it's like, we have to choose at some point to

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partner with what is God saying?

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No matter what.

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And again, it doesn't mean we're not living in reality, but we also want to be

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in that supernatural, like, okay, God, like I can hear what everyone else is

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saying, but God, what are you saying?

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And so I want to encourage you in that, that the want there is that we want to

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adopt, that is our want.

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We want a child or children that are ours long-term.

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Okay.

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We're willing to love children, um, in a short timeframe and give them a safe

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place that, you know, we'll then go back to their parents as well.

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But we want children that will be ours.

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That is our want.

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And so I, it's okay for me.

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And this is what I said to him and we both agree on this.

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Um, but I said, it's okay for us to want that, you know?

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And so what is it that you want?

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And I want you to think beyond the love story.

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The love story is the cherry on top.

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We talk about that.

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this community and we really want you to partner with that. But what are some

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other things that you would really want in your life? Like, do you want a new

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house? Do you want to live somewhere by, you know, a lake or a beach? Or maybe you

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love the mountains and the snow? I don't know. Like, where you really start

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thinking about what do you want in your life? What are the blessings of God where

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the enemy has tried to cause you to believe that God is the God of less than

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versus the God of more than enough? Where is, excuse me, the enemy

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trying to convince you that it's too late for you? You know, it's never gonna

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work out for you. You've tried before and, you know, this is where you always end up.

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I had a lady in one of the other groups the other day. I was coaching her and one

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of the things she said is, I always get to about two to three weeks in about, you

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know, eight to nine dates. And that includes video dates. And then she said,

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and then they always decide to move on. And so we were just, I was coaching her

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through some things that she said regarding that. Because see what started

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happening is she started partnering with, this is what always happens to me. This

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is what always happens to me. And I'm not saying it's not true, but I'm like, okay

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let's look at where did that start? Where did that lie start in you? Because it

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started somewhere. And then as soon as we start agreeing with that stuff, you

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all, it does shift things in the physical realm. So what is it that you're

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believing right now that are in opposition? They're like literally going

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against the promises of God in your heart. Like they're just not like leading

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you towards the truth. What is blocking the promise of God in your life? All

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right. So God wants to reveal to you that He is good and that He will come

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through for you. Not just your friend, not just another woman in this community, but

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He wants to come through for you. And the timing of that is important. You know, I

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remember being in the heart work myself. For those of you that are new, I'm one of

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the success stories from this community. I originally went through this program in

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January of 2021. I ended up, I did have an accelerated love story. I did a lot of

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work before I came into this community too. So I try to always let people know

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that. I worked with counselors and coaches before I came here. But I

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originally met my now husband September of 2021. We got married September of 22.

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And this September will be four years of being married. And so I say that to you

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because I remember being in the heart work. And just, I was kind of on a pause

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from dating when I came into this community and program. And I really did

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wait for a while to even date at all. But I remember the first time I heard Jackie

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talk about the baby gates. And so I can't even remember if she mentions that in the

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heart work phase one or where that comes in because it's been so long. But it what

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she shared about is that sometimes, you know, we think God's withholding from us,

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we think God isn't giving us what we want. But the reality is, is he just has some

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baby gates up. Because we think we're ready for something, because we want it

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right now. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with us for wanting it

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right now. I wanted a baby biologically three years ago, four years ago, we've

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been married almost four years. That didn't happen yet. So we're doing some

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other things to see what other avenues we can go through. And so do you think I

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didn't feel upset about I want it right now? Of course I did. But we have to deny

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that stuff and really continue to, okay, God, like, right now, that's not working.

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So what is working? What can we move towards? And so the reality is, is

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sometimes we think we're ready for something. And God is preparing us for it

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so that when we get it, we can actually stand up under the weight of it. Marriage

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is an absolute blessing you all, but it's also hard. It's not easy for two people

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to become one, you're merging your lives together, you have to just surrender to

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each other and, you know, love each other through the things that might drive you

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crazy sometimes and all the things. And that's really an incredible process that

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can be also trying at times. And so sometimes we think we're ready right now

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for that person. And God is saying, Hey, I just want to continue to help you

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prepare. And for some of you, you were in the waiting room a really long time

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because you unfortunately put yourself there or someone in the church said

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something that put you there. Really, the enemy was the one working in that the

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whole time. And so you look at your time, like I've been waiting for 20 years,

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we've had people say that.

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here. They didn't date for 20 years. They didn't date anyone. And they blamed God

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because they felt like they believed the lie that God was holding out on them. That God,

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they were just waiting for their Boaz and God didn't come through for them.

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Well, here's the reality. We choose to go in the waiting room.

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There's ownership there that has to be had. Okay? Whether that was because we believed a lie that

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someone said to us, or we just, we just are like, I'm not, you know, like I, you know,

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some people will do it. And again, I'm not saying these are bad.

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Some people will say, I got to wait until my kids are 18. Some people will say, you know, well,

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the church says I shouldn't date unless, you know, this, this, and this, you know,

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whatever it is, that's put us there. We have to acknowledge that it's not necessarily God

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that led us there. It's choices we made based off of things that people were saying and how

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we interpreted those. If y'all start to unpack really what led you to the places that you're at,

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you will start to see how the enemy was working and leading you into those places and spaces,

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even the mistakes that we've made. When I look back, my spiritual daughters,

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I dated their dad for six years and was in a situationship, was way too caught up in that,

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mostly because of the girls. I, when I was married before my ex-husband,

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when I filed for divorce, would not let me see my stepson ever again. And so I had a lot of wounds

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from that. And that led me into a relationship where I got enmeshed and tangled very quickly

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because I fell in love with his girls. And I got love bombed a lot. And I thought that guy

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was going to come back and he never did. Okay. And so this is how sometimes this stuff works.

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But the reality is, is I chose. And a lot of times what we will do, and I did this,

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I blamed God for leading me into that relationship.

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Okay. I'm not saying that it was wrong for me in the beginning to believe,

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oh, this looks so great. And there were things that looked good. But when I really started

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seeing some things underneath the surface, red flags were revealed very quickly in that dynamic.

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And you all, I didn't pay attention to them. I blew past them because of my own counterfeit

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identities, brokenness, and getting entangled with the girls. And so, yeah, it is the hard

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part, Amanda. Us owning our side of the street is always the hardest part. And a lot of times

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we will forgive everybody else and we tend to forgive ourselves last. And so even be considering

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that we're talking about the promises of God tonight, but even right before I jumped on,

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there was something that God drew to my attention that I just want to read the forgiveness prayer

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for you guys tonight. I just feel like that's for somebody either here live or going to catch

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the replay. But again, we're talking about God's promises. So why did I mention all of that? Well,

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because God is good and he will come through for you. You know, even though I took that detour

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for six years, and I'm going to tell you, I definitely felt like, man, I wasted six years

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regarding fertility and stuff. But the reality is, is I have two amazing spiritual daughters

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that are still in my life today. And it's been many years later from the time that I have not

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been with their dad. And I'm super grateful for those relationships with them. I wouldn't, I would

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not change that. I wouldn't. And so, you know, again, we, we look at what's good. We acknowledge

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the hard and what was real or what is currently our reality, but we keep pressing forward and also

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really ask God to show us who he is. God is love. God is faithful. God is kind. He is good.

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He is gentle. If you read scriptures in the Bible and focus on some of those things and ask God to

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really show you who he is as those, it's going to change your whole relationship with him. At least

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it did for me. So I believe that he'll do that for you as well. So I want you to also be thinking

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about where were you let down? Where do you have trauma, unhealed wounds from the past

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that are causing you to feel, to view, excuse me, God from filters and false lenses? I shared that a

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couple weeks ago with my sunglasses on and how it causes us to see colors differently and also keeps

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us from seeing certain colors. Some sunglasses that we have now, that's kind of how things go.

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Numbers 23, 19 says this, God is not a man that he should lie, neither the son of man that he

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should repent. Hath he said and shall he not do it? Has he spoken and shall he not make good?

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That same scripture, Numbers 23, 19, says this.

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God is not a man when given to lies

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and not a son of man changing his mind.

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Does he speak and not do what he says?

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Does he promise and not come through?

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Psalm 31, 16 says this.

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Let your face shine on your servant.

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Save me and your unfailing love for thy mercy's sake.

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Unfailing love in this scripture.

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I'm gonna talk to you guys about

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a couple different scriptures

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that talk about unfailing love.

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Because at the core, when we really get to the root

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for people that are struggling to believe

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that God will meet their needs and their wants,

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that God is good, typically it's because

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down in the core somewhere of our subconscious

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aspects of our soul, we do not believe that God loves us

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on some level, okay?

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So this is what it says again.

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Psalm 31, 16, let your face shine on your servant.

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Save me and your unfailing love for thy mercy's sake.

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Unfailing love here means goodness,

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kindness, faithfulness, merciful.

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Psalm 32, verse 10 says, many are the woes of the wicked,

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but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds those,

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sorry, surrounds the one who trusts in him.

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His unfailing love surrounds those who trust in him.

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So let's think about that.

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Unfailing love here means mercy shall encompass him about.

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I just want you to, if you can just imagine,

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I don't know, this is how I do things sometimes, y'all,

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just to really like process what scripture is saying to me.

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I just try to think of like a swirl around me of mercy,

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of God's mercy or his love,

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just that he's literally encompassing around about me.

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That means to turn, to turn about, to around or side,

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to be in the back, to be in the front.

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There's a lot of scriptures that talk about

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how he's on every side.

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When we're afraid and we feel like the enemy's coming in,

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like a flood, the Bible says that God would raise up

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a standard against him

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and he will cause him to flee seven ways.

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God is protecting us, he's defending us.

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Sometimes we feel like he's hurting us

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because he wants to remove an unhealthy relationship

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from our lives, but y'all, he's not.

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I remember just crying over that relationship.

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Y'all, it was a mess and a disaster.

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Their dad cheated on me so many times I lost count

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and with so many people.

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He talked bad about me behind my back.

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Like there was just so many layers of just bad stuff,

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but yet I kept staying.

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Interesting.

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When I look back now, I'm like, that isn't,

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like it's weird because I'm like, I'm so different now

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that it's hard to like even imagine me making that decision.

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But I know that was me because I lived it.

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And I believe that will be the case for so many of you,

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that one day you're gonna look back

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and you're gonna be like, man, my life is so different now.

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God, thank you.

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God, thank you for removing the things

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and helping me to let go of things

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that were not a part of your kingdom plan for me

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because he has really good things for us.

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But sometimes we're so, there's that,

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some people like this example, some people don't,

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but it's something that's always ministered to me.

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There's that picture out there

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where Jesus has this really big teddy bear behind his back

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and there's a little girl

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and she's got this little teeny tiny teddy bear.

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And he's really just asking her to give him that little bear

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so that he can give her the big thing.

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And so often that is so true.

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Psalm 33, verse 5, 18 and 22.

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I'm gonna read each one.

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The Lord loves righteousness and justice.

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The earth is full of his unfailing love.

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In this one, it's the goodness of the Lord.

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Verse 18, but the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,

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on those whose hope is in his unfailing love.

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In this verse, it's mercy.

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Verse 22, may your unfailing love be with us, Lord,

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even as we put our hope in you.

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Verse 22 here, unfailing love is mercy and goodness combined.

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I love the layering of that scripture in those verses

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because again, it's like saying,

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hey, the goodness of the Lord,

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then it's saying mercy and then it's,

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he's saying both kind of double whammy in a good way.

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And so I want you to be just even thinking about like,

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what does it mean for you to really imagine

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being full of God's goodness,

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like really experiencing the goodness of God

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in the land of the living?

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You know, we don't have to wait to heaven for life

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to be good, you all.

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But if you believe you do,

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well, that's a heart thing you need to really look at.

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get with the Lord. You know, and sometimes again, we can be like,

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Oh, yeah, I think God is good. He's good. And then but like,

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we're living below underneath the surface. We're like, Oh,

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yeah, I think God's good. But like, we're hanging out

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underneath the table. I'm looking at my own table right

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now. Like that was the revelation God showed me years

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ago, I was down underneath the table, begging for crumbs,

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because my heart posture was telling me that's all I

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deserved. I was in a relationship, I wasn't

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sometimes barely even getting crumbs of anything you all and

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I kept staying. And then, you know, little by little, God kept

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showing me, you know, hey, I have a seat for you at the

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table. Like, when are you gonna come up here and sit with me?

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And little by little, he just kept showing me those kind of

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mindsets and things that were like, okay, well, what got me

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under the table? Why am I down there, Lord? Like, help me to

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know what what's in my heart that's causing me to be there.

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Some other revelations I had were one day I had this vision

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of myself. And like I was I was this young girl, and I was

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standing outside of like, there was almost like, I don't know

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if y'all would remember back in the old days, the old Willy

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Wonka. I don't know if the newer ones had this. But you know,

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Willy Wonka in the factory was like this really fun, amazing

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place. But then there was these gates where people couldn't get

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in, you know, that kind of like those bar gates. That's what it

430
00:31:29.120 --> 00:31:31.960
was like in my vision. And there was this really awesome place I

431
00:31:31.960 --> 00:31:35.240
wanted to go. But I was on the outside of the gate. And the

432
00:31:35.240 --> 00:31:39.520
gate was closed. And I was just like, begging God to be on the

433
00:31:39.520 --> 00:31:45.200
inside. That was my vision that I had. And then one day, God

434
00:31:45.200 --> 00:31:53.080
showed me something. He showed me that the gate was open. But

435
00:31:53.080 --> 00:31:56.800
my perspective was the gate was closed, and I was stuck on the

436
00:31:56.800 --> 00:32:07.120
outside. But the reality is, is the gate was always open. But my

437
00:32:07.120 --> 00:32:10.440
heart was deceiving me. You know, the Bible says the heart

438
00:32:10.440 --> 00:32:15.040
is deceitfully wicked. You know, we have to really uncover these

439
00:32:15.040 --> 00:32:20.920
things with the Lord, so that we can start to shift. I 100%

440
00:32:20.920 --> 00:32:24.160
believe that when I started shifting in the way I was

441
00:32:24.160 --> 00:32:30.000
looking at things, and I started really seeing that God, I always

442
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:34.640
had access to him. The gate was always open to me. I started

443
00:32:34.640 --> 00:32:38.680
shifting in what I believed on the inside. And that impacted

444
00:32:38.680 --> 00:32:42.840
what I believed I was able to get on the outside. And what I

445
00:32:42.840 --> 00:32:46.720
was worth and my value and all the things that I needed to

446
00:32:46.720 --> 00:32:50.800
fight for, which for many times in the past, I hadn't. There's a

447
00:32:50.800 --> 00:32:53.600
song out there. I'm sure you all have heard it called Sparrows by

448
00:32:53.600 --> 00:32:57.360
Corey Asbury. I'm going to read something over you really quick.

449
00:32:57.680 --> 00:33:00.160
And hopefully you'll take some time to listen to it. And maybe

450
00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:03.000
I'll even speak to you differently. This time,

451
00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:06.040
sometimes we can hear songs over and over and not really connect

452
00:33:06.040 --> 00:33:12.160
with them. But the words of this are so powerful. The sparrow is

453
00:33:12.160 --> 00:33:16.200
not worried about tomorrow or the troubles to come. The

454
00:33:16.200 --> 00:33:19.400
lily's not thinking about the seasons, the drought or the

455
00:33:19.400 --> 00:33:23.920
flood. A tree that's planted by the water isn't fazed by the

456
00:33:23.920 --> 00:33:29.360
fire. So why should I be? Because you take good care of me.

457
00:33:29.400 --> 00:33:33.000
You take good care of me. You know what I need before I even

458
00:33:33.000 --> 00:33:36.240
ask a thing and you hold me in your hands with a kindness that

459
00:33:36.240 --> 00:33:40.440
never ends. I'm carried in your love no matter what the future

460
00:33:40.440 --> 00:33:44.000
brings. Yeah, you take good care of me. The sun's not

461
00:33:44.000 --> 00:33:46.840
worried about the winter because soon it will will pass the light

462
00:33:46.840 --> 00:33:49.160
is not thinking about the darkness or the shadow that it

463
00:33:49.160 --> 00:33:54.160
casts. A heart that is planted in forgiveness does not dwell on

464
00:33:54.160 --> 00:33:58.280
the past. So why should I be? Because you take good care of

465
00:33:58.280 --> 00:34:01.520
me. Yeah, you take good care of me. You know what I need before

466
00:34:01.520 --> 00:34:05.280
I even ask a thing. You hold me in your hands with a kindness

467
00:34:05.280 --> 00:34:09.719
that never ends. I'm carried in your love no matter what the

468
00:34:09.719 --> 00:34:15.840
future brings. Yeah, you take good care of me. So why is this

469
00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:19.600
time different? Ladies? Let's let's put it in the chat. I'm

470
00:34:19.600 --> 00:34:23.040
going to see what you guys think before I tell you. Why do you

471
00:34:23.040 --> 00:34:25.320
think this time is different? For some of you that have been

472
00:34:25.320 --> 00:34:27.239
here a long time, you might already know the answer and

473
00:34:27.239 --> 00:34:30.159
that's okay. But let's go ahead and see what people are saying

474
00:34:30.159 --> 00:34:32.480
in the chat. Why do you think this time is going to be

475
00:34:32.480 --> 00:34:41.960
different? Supernatural surrender. Yeah, it's so

476
00:34:41.960 --> 00:34:45.159
powerful when we surrender fully and with God's supernatural

477
00:34:45.159 --> 00:34:50.159
ability. It's a game changer. Anyone else? There's no wrong

478
00:34:50.159 --> 00:34:55.360
answers, ladies. I know it takes some time to type them into

479
00:34:55.840 --> 00:34:59.600
because of a changed heart. I've done some work awakened to his

480
00:34:59.600 --> 00:35:00.120
goodness.

481
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.200
because I'm letting God in and letting Him lead, heartwork.

482
00:35:05.560 --> 00:35:07.060
Anyone else?

483
00:35:07.060 --> 00:35:08.360
These are all really good.

484
00:35:10.240 --> 00:35:11.880
Okay, you can keep putting them in there.

485
00:35:11.880 --> 00:35:14.260
I am working it consistently and trusting Him,

486
00:35:14.260 --> 00:35:17.640
not fixing my heart, I'm healing my heart, yeah.

487
00:35:17.640 --> 00:35:19.800
Trusting God more, love these.

488
00:35:19.800 --> 00:35:24.000
Okay, so yes, you guys got it, ready to surrender.

489
00:35:24.000 --> 00:35:26.280
And I think that's a key word right there.

490
00:35:26.280 --> 00:35:28.640
Not only is it supernatural surrender,

491
00:35:28.640 --> 00:35:30.600
but Natalie said ready.

492
00:35:31.520 --> 00:35:33.920
Are you ready to surrender?

493
00:35:33.920 --> 00:35:36.000
Are you really ready to let go of anger

494
00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:41.000
you have towards God or other people or yourself?

495
00:35:41.160 --> 00:35:42.120
I've said this before,

496
00:35:42.120 --> 00:35:44.880
sometimes some of us aren't getting God's promises

497
00:35:44.880 --> 00:35:46.000
and we're not moving forward

498
00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:49.800
because we put ourself in prison and we shut the gates

499
00:35:49.800 --> 00:35:53.160
and we just, we think we have to stay there.

500
00:35:53.160 --> 00:35:56.040
And even that, the bars are open, the gate is open.

501
00:35:56.040 --> 00:35:59.000
God's opened the prison gates for Jesus Christ,

502
00:35:59.000 --> 00:36:02.360
but we have to learn how to stand and walk in that victory.

503
00:36:02.360 --> 00:36:03.800
All right, so why is this time different?

504
00:36:03.800 --> 00:36:05.760
Because you are different.

505
00:36:05.760 --> 00:36:08.760
No matter what, no matter what happened yesterday,

506
00:36:08.760 --> 00:36:09.920
you're already different today.

507
00:36:09.920 --> 00:36:11.720
If you're applying the heart healing,

508
00:36:11.720 --> 00:36:14.640
if you're leaning into like getting to know God,

509
00:36:14.640 --> 00:36:17.280
reconnecting with God, whatever that looks like for you,

510
00:36:17.280 --> 00:36:18.960
maybe you've always known God,

511
00:36:18.960 --> 00:36:22.880
but this is, you just feel like something in the presence.

512
00:36:22.880 --> 00:36:24.920
Everybody experiences something different here.

513
00:36:24.960 --> 00:36:26.600
Whatever that looks like for you,

514
00:36:26.600 --> 00:36:30.200
every single day, you're gonna become someone new

515
00:36:30.200 --> 00:36:34.560
and you're gonna unbecome some things too, okay?

516
00:36:34.560 --> 00:36:37.160
You're unbecoming those counterfeit identities

517
00:36:37.160 --> 00:36:40.200
that you've become through trauma and heart wounds

518
00:36:40.200 --> 00:36:41.240
and all this stuff.

519
00:36:41.240 --> 00:36:43.400
And then you're becoming that version

520
00:36:43.400 --> 00:36:46.280
of who God originally created you to be

521
00:36:46.280 --> 00:36:48.760
more every single day.

522
00:36:48.760 --> 00:36:51.000
And every day as we continue to surrender,

523
00:36:51.000 --> 00:36:53.360
you know, again, hey Lord, I'm ready to surrender.

524
00:36:53.400 --> 00:36:55.520
Lord, what do you want me to surrender today?

525
00:36:55.520 --> 00:36:58.960
Like even just getting in that consistent heart posture

526
00:36:58.960 --> 00:37:00.520
is really good.

527
00:37:02.640 --> 00:37:04.520
Lord, this feels really hard today.

528
00:37:04.520 --> 00:37:06.800
You know, when I was feeling down

529
00:37:06.800 --> 00:37:09.880
like how I told you guys a couple of weeks ago,

530
00:37:09.880 --> 00:37:11.840
I just said, Lord, I just feel so sad.

531
00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:13.960
I don't know what's going on with me.

532
00:37:13.960 --> 00:37:15.160
Life is good.

533
00:37:15.160 --> 00:37:17.880
There's a lot of good stuff happening around me.

534
00:37:17.880 --> 00:37:19.640
Why do I feel so sad?

535
00:37:20.360 --> 00:37:21.800
You know, David said, why are you down,

536
00:37:21.800 --> 00:37:22.840
Casto, my soul?

537
00:37:22.840 --> 00:37:24.720
Hope in the Lord.

538
00:37:24.720 --> 00:37:26.840
So we need to talk to our spirits too

539
00:37:26.840 --> 00:37:30.320
and talk to God and just own what we're feeling.

540
00:37:30.320 --> 00:37:31.920
But remember, we don't want our feelings

541
00:37:31.920 --> 00:37:33.080
to get in the driver's seat.

542
00:37:33.080 --> 00:37:35.520
I knew what I was feeling, but I'm like,

543
00:37:35.520 --> 00:37:37.440
ugh, I don't like this.

544
00:37:37.440 --> 00:37:39.160
I don't want this in the driver's seat.

545
00:37:39.160 --> 00:37:40.400
What's going on with me?

546
00:37:42.440 --> 00:37:43.960
And little by little, you know,

547
00:37:43.960 --> 00:37:45.520
that stuff starts to shut off

548
00:37:45.520 --> 00:37:47.640
and God speaks to us as we continue

549
00:37:47.640 --> 00:37:49.160
to give those things to him.

550
00:37:49.800 --> 00:37:53.360
So we heal more, we grow more in our identity in Christ.

551
00:37:53.360 --> 00:37:55.640
We become someone new, as I was saying.

552
00:37:57.360 --> 00:37:58.760
And the above are all things,

553
00:37:58.760 --> 00:37:59.920
all those things that I mentioned

554
00:37:59.920 --> 00:38:02.600
are all things that can help us choose differently

555
00:38:02.600 --> 00:38:05.200
in the future, to see people in the world

556
00:38:05.200 --> 00:38:08.520
around us differently than we did even yesterday.

557
00:38:08.520 --> 00:38:11.880
From a healthier place, if our heart is healing,

558
00:38:11.880 --> 00:38:14.600
maybe we're gonna recognize the voice of God more.

559
00:38:14.600 --> 00:38:16.200
Maybe we're gonna trust more

560
00:38:16.200 --> 00:38:18.680
that he isn't keeping things from us.

561
00:38:19.080 --> 00:38:20.520
But he's actually defending us

562
00:38:20.520 --> 00:38:22.800
from things that are not good for us.

563
00:38:22.800 --> 00:38:24.200
Maybe we're gonna actually believe

564
00:38:24.200 --> 00:38:26.480
that God is, you know, looking out for us.

565
00:38:26.480 --> 00:38:28.400
He's preparing us, he's leading us

566
00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:32.560
into the fullness of his plans and promises for us.

567
00:38:32.560 --> 00:38:35.160
Heart change equals life change.

568
00:38:36.240 --> 00:38:38.440
So the more that our heart heals,

569
00:38:38.440 --> 00:38:40.960
the more our life can change.

570
00:38:40.960 --> 00:38:42.440
Like I said, you all, I'm not kidding.

571
00:38:42.440 --> 00:38:46.480
When I tell you, I look back,

572
00:38:46.520 --> 00:38:48.920
I look back, I was looking recently,

573
00:38:48.920 --> 00:38:51.520
I just even like, let's see,

574
00:38:51.520 --> 00:38:56.040
I dated their dad, I met him at the end of 2013.

575
00:38:56.040 --> 00:38:58.680
And so until 2019.

576
00:39:00.280 --> 00:39:04.040
And so now it's been like seven years.

577
00:39:04.040 --> 00:39:06.840
Oh my gosh, I didn't even think about that.

578
00:39:06.840 --> 00:39:08.120
That's kind of fun.

579
00:39:08.120 --> 00:39:11.440
Seven years, year of perfection.

580
00:39:11.440 --> 00:39:13.440
Hadn't thought about that until just in this moment,

581
00:39:13.440 --> 00:39:14.280
if you can't tell.

582
00:39:15.280 --> 00:39:16.720
I like the number seven.

583
00:39:17.640 --> 00:39:20.720
But anyways, it just makes me think sometimes,

584
00:39:20.720 --> 00:39:22.920
like when you look back,

585
00:39:22.920 --> 00:39:25.400
I mean, seven years really isn't that long of a time.

586
00:39:25.400 --> 00:39:26.560
It is long, but it's not.

587
00:39:26.560 --> 00:39:29.640
And I look at how much I've changed.

588
00:39:29.640 --> 00:39:34.440
Like I live a completely different life, you all, okay?

589
00:39:34.440 --> 00:39:38.520
So if I can do it, and if God can do it in me,

590
00:39:38.520 --> 00:39:41.600
then you can do it and he can do it in you too.

591
00:39:41.600 --> 00:39:43.840
It just takes consistency.

592
00:39:44.400 --> 00:39:45.400
Keep showing up.

593
00:39:45.400 --> 00:39:47.680
Don't give up, keep showing up.

594
00:39:47.680 --> 00:39:50.680
When you feel overwhelmed, don't give up.

595
00:39:50.680 --> 00:39:52.800
Don't check out, don't isolate.

596
00:39:52.800 --> 00:39:54.640
Don't pull away from people.

597
00:39:54.640 --> 00:39:58.040
Lean, do the opposite of what you feel in your flesh.

598
00:39:58.040 --> 00:39:59.680
Do the opposite of that.

599
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:06.000
Truly, if we will do that, a lot of times that will save us a lot.

600
00:40:06.000 --> 00:40:13.000
Don't give in to these men that are asking you to go against your values and what you believe.

601
00:40:13.000 --> 00:40:18.000
No, wait for God's good promises for you.

602
00:40:18.000 --> 00:40:22.000
Yeah, Catherine, I know you've changed so much since you came into the program.

603
00:40:22.000 --> 00:40:24.000
100% agree with that.

604
00:40:24.000 --> 00:40:27.000
So real and lasting change is a process, ladies.

605
00:40:27.000 --> 00:40:30.000
I know we live in a microwave culture.

606
00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:33.000
We actually live in a faster than that now.

607
00:40:33.000 --> 00:40:35.000
You know, everything is fast.

608
00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:37.000
Look at the technology.

609
00:40:37.000 --> 00:40:41.000
It's changing so fast people can't even keep up with it anymore.

610
00:40:41.000 --> 00:40:46.000
And so what happens is we apply those same principles to our love story,

611
00:40:46.000 --> 00:40:48.000
the other things we're asking God for.

612
00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:53.000
And when we don't get it right now, we throw fits.

613
00:40:53.000 --> 00:40:56.000
Anyone else want to admit to that?

614
00:40:56.000 --> 00:40:57.000
I do it.

615
00:40:57.000 --> 00:41:00.000
I still do it sometimes.

616
00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:03.000
Where I'm just like, God, I don't want to deal with this.

617
00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:08.000
You know, we've been over here rebuilding the church that burnt down before God led us here.

618
00:41:08.000 --> 00:41:11.000
It was burnt before we even came.

619
00:41:11.000 --> 00:41:18.000
Some churches, some of these amazing cathedrals we've gone to see were built in less time than our current church.

620
00:41:18.000 --> 00:41:23.000
We have faced so many obstacles to this process.

621
00:41:23.000 --> 00:41:26.000
God hasn't made sense sometimes.

622
00:41:26.000 --> 00:41:31.000
But then when we trust, we see something else happening.

623
00:41:31.000 --> 00:41:33.000
God's preparing our people.

624
00:41:33.000 --> 00:41:38.000
If God had literally helped us rebuild that church and get that done in a year,

625
00:41:38.000 --> 00:41:41.000
I don't think our current people that we have in our church,

626
00:41:41.000 --> 00:41:45.000
because we have additional people that have even joined us in the last year,

627
00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:49.000
we would not have been able to do what God was leading us to do.

628
00:41:49.000 --> 00:41:51.000
I really don't think we could have.

629
00:41:51.000 --> 00:41:55.000
You know, to see along this last year as we've continued to walk this path,

630
00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:57.000
God's brought us additional staff.

631
00:41:57.000 --> 00:42:02.000
God's brought us additional people that can actually run this race with Brian and I.

632
00:42:02.000 --> 00:42:03.000
It matters.

633
00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:05.000
The process matters.

634
00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:10.000
And we don't want to discount what's happening even when we think nothing is working.

635
00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:13.000
Remember that God is always working.

636
00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:17.000
I love to tell the story of even years ago, I was going on a walk,

637
00:42:17.000 --> 00:42:20.000
and we're going to get ready to go into breakout session here in a minute.

638
00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:25.000
I was walking, and you all, I've noticed bugs before, okay?

639
00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:29.000
I think we've all noticed ants or bugs or whatever, but for whatever reason,

640
00:42:29.000 --> 00:42:32.000
this one day, I was still in Kentucky at the time.

641
00:42:32.000 --> 00:42:38.000
I was walking, and I looked down, and there was an anthill in the sidewalk,

642
00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:41.000
and there were ants all over the place.

643
00:42:41.000 --> 00:42:49.000
And all of a sudden, I just started having this whole kind of unfolding story in my mind,

644
00:42:49.000 --> 00:42:50.000
if you will.

645
00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:52.000
That's how some of the ways God talks to me.

646
00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:56.000
I started thinking about all the bugs that were underneath the ground

647
00:42:56.000 --> 00:43:01.000
that we don't even see or think about every single day because we're up walking on top of it.

648
00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:06.000
Until we see something like an anthill or we see them crawling around, but think about it.

649
00:43:06.000 --> 00:43:10.000
Underneath the surface, there's all kinds, just like the ocean, there's all kinds.

650
00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:16.000
You go down way deep, there's all kinds of fish down there and sea creatures and all that.

651
00:43:16.000 --> 00:43:20.000
But we tend to see what we see on the surface, right?

652
00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:25.000
So you want to think about God's promises and the way he's working in your life the same way.

653
00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:28.000
Even when we can't see it, you know, sometimes we're walking along,

654
00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:34.000
we don't recognize the ant that we're about to step on or whatever bug that is.

655
00:43:34.000 --> 00:43:37.000
And then sometimes we notice it, don't we?

656
00:43:37.000 --> 00:43:41.000
And then it's all of a sudden, it's like, ooh, now I don't know if you're all like me.

657
00:43:41.000 --> 00:43:44.000
I don't step on ants if I see them.

658
00:43:44.000 --> 00:43:49.000
Now, a spider? Killed a spider last night.

659
00:43:49.000 --> 00:43:53.000
Sometimes spiders are good for things, but I don't like them in my house.

660
00:43:53.000 --> 00:43:55.000
Hopefully I'm making you all laugh as you process this.

661
00:43:55.000 --> 00:44:00.000
But these are the things that help me, and so I hope that it will help you when you see things.

662
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:05.000
And just really ask God to use whatever things are in your day-to-day to speak to you,

663
00:44:05.000 --> 00:44:11.000
to encourage you, to help you to connect with the truth that he is working in your life.

664
00:44:11.000 --> 00:44:14.000
Even when you can't see it, that he's working.

665
00:44:14.000 --> 00:44:22.000
So we want to choose to step out of alignment with the microwave culture of instant coffee, instant everything,

666
00:44:22.000 --> 00:44:24.000
and just say, God, thank you.

667
00:44:24.000 --> 00:44:26.000
Thank you that even when I can't see it, you're working.

668
00:44:26.000 --> 00:44:31.000
I trust that you have your good things coming in my life.

669
00:44:31.000 --> 00:44:38.000
Lord, help me to have an upgrade in the understanding of your care for me more every day.

670
00:44:38.000 --> 00:44:40.000
All right, so breakout session tonight is this.

671
00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:43.000
This is your question.

672
00:44:43.000 --> 00:44:51.000
When was a time someone broke a promise that they made to you, and how is that still affecting you today?

673
00:44:51.000 --> 00:44:57.000
When was a time someone broke a promise to you, and how is that still affecting you today?

674
00:44:57.000 --> 00:44:59.000
Here's the reality as well.

675
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.000
you all have broken promises to yourself. So if the person that broke the promise is you,

676
00:45:06.800 --> 00:45:10.880
you can share about that as well. All right, let me get these breakout sessions ready.

677
00:45:13.920 --> 00:45:17.040
She kind of says she's about to kill a spider right now. Get it, girl.

678
00:45:18.480 --> 00:45:23.440
All right, if you're not able to go in the breakout, that's all right. All right, let's see here.

679
00:45:23.440 --> 00:45:35.200
Okay, we're at eight. We're going to do seven minutes tonight. So there'll be about two to

680
00:45:35.200 --> 00:45:39.920
three of you in a room, depending on how many people... Oh, wait, did I do this right?

681
00:45:41.280 --> 00:45:48.880
A lot of people in four. Let me... So sorry. Hold on one second, y'all.

682
00:45:48.880 --> 00:46:01.600
There we go. Okay, seven minutes, short, brief, and powerful. Go ahead and share about the question

683
00:46:01.600 --> 00:46:05.680
first. If you have extra time, then you guys can kind of just get to know each other, but

684
00:46:05.680 --> 00:46:09.520
definitely talk about the question first. All right, go ahead and click to join those as quick

685
00:46:09.520 --> 00:46:16.640
as you can. For those staying here in the room or watching the replay, I'll start to pray as

686
00:46:16.720 --> 00:46:20.560
soon as I get everyone situated here in the back end for those rooms.

687
00:46:29.280 --> 00:46:30.080
That's four.

688
00:46:37.760 --> 00:46:41.760
All right, Father, thank you so much for everything you're doing in our lives.

689
00:46:41.760 --> 00:46:47.200
God, I thank you that in the in-between that you would help us to rest in the truth of your

690
00:46:47.200 --> 00:46:53.440
promises for us, God, that they are yes and amen, God, and that you will continue to come through

691
00:46:53.440 --> 00:46:58.800
for us. God, I thank you that just as the scripture that we talked about earlier, that you're not a

692
00:46:58.800 --> 00:47:04.560
man that you would lie. And so, Lord, I pray that you would reveal the areas where the enemy is

693
00:47:04.560 --> 00:47:10.160
actually the one lying to us and convincing us that you're not good. Remind us of the times in

694
00:47:10.160 --> 00:47:17.520
our life in the past where trauma or wounds entered that harmed us in some way, and the enemy

695
00:47:17.520 --> 00:47:24.560
came in and whispered lies in those moments to try to convince us, God, that you were a trickster,

696
00:47:24.560 --> 00:47:29.360
that you were deceiving, that you were not really good, that you meant harm for us. When we know the

697
00:47:29.360 --> 00:47:33.680
word of God says that the enemy is the one that comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but Jesus Christ

698
00:47:33.680 --> 00:47:37.680
came to give us life and give it to us more abundantly. And God, I know that when you created

699
00:47:37.680 --> 00:47:44.560
us, your word declares that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, God. So I imagine those words

700
00:47:44.560 --> 00:47:50.720
alone, like I even think about, you know, when parents have a baby that they created or even

701
00:47:50.720 --> 00:47:57.440
adopted or fostered, whatever the situation is, how wonderful they feel about that baby. I really

702
00:47:57.440 --> 00:48:02.320
believe and know just from my own experience with you, Lord, that that is how you feel about us,

703
00:48:03.040 --> 00:48:10.160
that you love us, that you adore us, God, that you, you know, have intricately put us together

704
00:48:10.160 --> 00:48:16.000
and you celebrate when we come into the world. And so, Lord, even in that, if there's anyone that

705
00:48:16.000 --> 00:48:23.120
has believed the lie that they are a burden, that they were not a blessing, anything that counteracts

706
00:48:23.120 --> 00:48:28.800
the truth, that you love us, that you are excited about the day that we were born as well as the day

707
00:48:28.800 --> 00:48:35.440
that you created us, that you smile over us, your word declares in Zephaniah 3, 17, that you rejoice

708
00:48:35.440 --> 00:48:40.480
over us with singing. So Lord, I pray that you would help us to receive those truths deeper into

709
00:48:40.480 --> 00:48:46.720
our souls. Yes, Lord, that we would lay aside, just like the Bible says, lay aside every weight that

710
00:48:46.720 --> 00:48:53.040
so easily ensnares us. I even think of these as weights, that it's not just sin, it's the wrong

711
00:48:53.040 --> 00:48:58.960
heart, you know, posture, the limiting beliefs, the things that hold us back from even being able to

712
00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:06.320
be intimacy with you, God, and connect with you in a deeper level. So, Lord, I just thank you,

713
00:49:06.320 --> 00:49:11.120
God, for placing the balm of Gilead upon our hearts, our souls, our minds, our spirits.

714
00:49:13.120 --> 00:49:19.680
Yes, Lord, I thank you for your divine oil of healing flowing into every aspect of who we are

715
00:49:19.680 --> 00:49:25.280
tonight, every aspect of our foundation, that you're going to the core root places, God, and

716
00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:31.680
you're redeeming, you're restoring, you're rebuilding. Just like Jackie talks about, you're pouring like

717
00:49:31.680 --> 00:49:37.600
liquid gold into those places, God, and your glory is going to be revealed through these areas.

718
00:49:37.600 --> 00:49:42.800
I thank you, God, that you have purpose in all of our pain as we surrender that stuff to you.

719
00:49:43.440 --> 00:49:48.160
Man, I think back to just even just my life and even the things I've been sharing with the ladies

720
00:49:48.160 --> 00:49:52.480
tonight and have shared for so many times for some of the ladies that have been here before,

721
00:49:52.480 --> 00:49:59.920
just how much you've worked in my life. And even today, as I met with my husband and I,

722
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.080
I met with this woman from the foster to adopt agency.

723
00:50:03.480 --> 00:50:06.480
One of the things you have to do when you go through this process is you

724
00:50:06.480 --> 00:50:09.960
have to answer a lot of questions about your upbringing and my

725
00:50:09.960 --> 00:50:11.880
upbringing was really tough.

726
00:50:11.920 --> 00:50:15.200
And I've been through a lot of things, even in my prior marriage, a lot of

727
00:50:15.200 --> 00:50:19.840
abuse and things, um, as well as with the girl's dad and all of that.

728
00:50:19.920 --> 00:50:23.680
And, uh, one of the things that lady said to me when she was talking about,

729
00:50:23.680 --> 00:50:29.000
like reading my story as a kid is that, you know, she appreciated me sharing

730
00:50:29.000 --> 00:50:33.560
so transparently and that her heart broke for me as she read my story.

731
00:50:33.560 --> 00:50:34.760
And she said this.

732
00:50:35.360 --> 00:50:41.480
It's really remarkable that you have been able to, you know, live the life

733
00:50:41.480 --> 00:50:46.040
that you're living now and operate in the function and capabilities that you

734
00:50:46.040 --> 00:50:50.840
do because you all trauma really wounds people, especially toxic trauma where

735
00:50:50.840 --> 00:50:52.560
it's happening over and over and over again.

736
00:50:52.560 --> 00:50:52.880
Right.

737
00:50:53.360 --> 00:50:56.960
And so I really know, and I have known this for a long time.

738
00:50:56.960 --> 00:50:58.800
God's hand was always on me.

739
00:50:59.240 --> 00:51:03.800
No matter what the enemy tried to bring, God has always had his hand on my life.

740
00:51:04.160 --> 00:51:05.640
And I'm so grateful for that.

741
00:51:05.640 --> 00:51:09.080
And so I really want to encourage you all to, if you don't see that for your

742
00:51:09.080 --> 00:51:14.920
life right now, I want to encourage you to ask God to show you how he has always

743
00:51:14.920 --> 00:51:19.280
been with you and the ways that he has been working in your life all along.

744
00:51:19.280 --> 00:51:24.880
Because he has, it's just, sometimes we can't see it when we're hurting and it's

745
00:51:24.880 --> 00:51:29.560
easier on some level to believe the lie than to believe the truth.

746
00:51:29.960 --> 00:51:36.360
And so I want to encourage you to really do the hard work that is the heartwork

747
00:51:36.720 --> 00:51:42.000
and partner with God's truth for your life and his love that is abundant.

748
00:51:42.000 --> 00:51:43.360
It's unconditional.

749
00:51:43.680 --> 00:51:48.320
Literally, the Bible says that nothing can keep us from the love of God, not

750
00:51:48.320 --> 00:51:52.720
height, nor depth, nor principality, nor power, not things in the present, not

751
00:51:52.720 --> 00:51:56.160
things to come, nothing in the past can even keep us from the love of God.

752
00:51:56.160 --> 00:52:01.480
And, you know, through Christ Jesus, Jesus Christ came so that we could

753
00:52:01.760 --> 00:52:05.800
literally every divider, everything that hindered us from being one with

754
00:52:05.800 --> 00:52:07.960
God was literally removed.

755
00:52:07.960 --> 00:52:13.760
And, and Jesus became the way, the truth and the life to the way for us to be in

756
00:52:13.760 --> 00:52:15.840
that relationship with the father and the Holy spirit.

757
00:52:15.840 --> 00:52:20.880
And so because of Jesus, because of his blood, because of his sacrifice, we are

758
00:52:20.880 --> 00:52:24.200
enabled to be in close relationship with the father.

759
00:52:24.200 --> 00:52:28.040
And so if you don't know him as father, God, daddy, I really want to

760
00:52:28.040 --> 00:52:29.640
encourage you to pray into that as well.

761
00:52:30.040 --> 00:52:34.240
You know, there's a song out even years ago, Abba, you know, I listened to that

762
00:52:34.240 --> 00:52:38.360
thing so many times that, you know, now I'm like, oh, I don't, I love this song,

763
00:52:38.360 --> 00:52:42.160
but I can't listen to it very often because I listened to it so much back

764
00:52:42.160 --> 00:52:47.640
then, but it really ministered to my core and helped me continue to partner

765
00:52:47.640 --> 00:52:52.080
with, you know, that aspect of God's heart and who he is.

766
00:52:52.400 --> 00:52:55.360
And so I want to encourage you all find something like that for yourself as well.

767
00:52:55.360 --> 00:52:56.640
Maybe it is that song for you.

768
00:52:56.640 --> 00:53:01.240
Cause maybe you haven't listened to it a thousand times like I did, but, uh, I do

769
00:53:01.240 --> 00:53:03.240
want to encourage you to check that out.

770
00:53:03.480 --> 00:53:05.080
I want to read some scripture over you.

771
00:53:05.080 --> 00:53:06.360
Oh, they're about to come back already.

772
00:53:06.360 --> 00:53:06.600
Wow.

773
00:53:06.600 --> 00:53:07.840
That went so fast.

774
00:53:08.240 --> 00:53:09.400
I was praying scripture too.

775
00:53:09.400 --> 00:53:10.120
So that's all right.

776
00:53:10.120 --> 00:53:10.640
God knew.

777
00:53:11.240 --> 00:53:11.760
All right.

778
00:53:11.760 --> 00:53:16.120
Well, as the rooms are starting to close, I just want to encourage you all that

779
00:53:16.120 --> 00:53:20.760
are here are going to watch this replay that even when you can't join us live,

780
00:53:20.760 --> 00:53:22.680
we are, we are connecting with you.

781
00:53:22.680 --> 00:53:24.640
We're cheering your love story on.

782
00:53:24.920 --> 00:53:25.920
We're praying for you.

783
00:53:25.920 --> 00:53:29.200
Even when we're not here on these live sessions, we believe in

784
00:53:29.200 --> 00:53:31.360
God's plans and promises for you.

785
00:53:31.880 --> 00:53:35.760
Um, the trick here, not trick, but like the thing that you need to understand

786
00:53:35.760 --> 00:53:37.760
though, is that we can believe.

787
00:53:38.240 --> 00:53:42.400
For you a ton, but it's you starting to believe for yourself.

788
00:53:42.640 --> 00:53:46.800
That's when things are really try to start to get momentum behind them.

789
00:53:46.800 --> 00:53:50.080
And you're going to start to feel that shift and the things that God is doing.

790
00:53:50.080 --> 00:53:54.840
And so it's going to be really incredible, but we are cheering you on in the process.

791
00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:56.160
Welcome back ladies.

792
00:53:56.160 --> 00:53:59.000
So glad to have you back for those of you that are, don't know when you come

793
00:53:59.000 --> 00:54:00.840
back and I'm just like talking away.

794
00:54:01.520 --> 00:54:04.720
I'm praying and talking the whole time y'all are in the breakout session.

795
00:54:04.720 --> 00:54:08.200
So if y'all want to ever check that stuff out, um, we went into the

796
00:54:08.200 --> 00:54:11.880
breakout tonight around like eight 45 ish.

797
00:54:11.880 --> 00:54:16.440
So about 45 minutes into the session is where you'll hear me just talking and

798
00:54:16.440 --> 00:54:20.320
praying away, um, while y'all are in there sometimes, you know, prophetic

799
00:54:20.320 --> 00:54:22.120
words come up, sometimes I just pray.

800
00:54:22.120 --> 00:54:25.680
So typically I don't even remember what I say.

801
00:54:26.840 --> 00:54:30.360
So just so y'all know, I wouldn't even be able to tell you everything I just said.

802
00:54:31.080 --> 00:54:32.120
That's just how it works.

803
00:54:32.480 --> 00:54:33.600
Um, so welcome back.

804
00:54:33.600 --> 00:54:37.880
So before we go into the group coaching, I wanted to share with you really quick.

805
00:54:38.080 --> 00:54:41.760
So the activations for this week, um, we're going to work on

806
00:54:41.760 --> 00:54:43.400
our never will I ever list.

807
00:54:43.480 --> 00:54:44.720
I'll post this in the group.

808
00:54:44.720 --> 00:54:47.760
So you'll find the instructions on everything I'm going to tell you.

809
00:54:48.040 --> 00:54:52.120
And it'll be even more like informative in that post.

810
00:54:52.120 --> 00:54:52.440
Okay.

811
00:54:53.000 --> 00:54:56.520
Um, but this is a really important activation.

812
00:54:56.560 --> 00:54:59.960
They're all important, but here is why this one is so important.

813
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:11.000
List. The list. We all have lists, and our lists tend to be really, really long.

814
00:55:11.000 --> 00:55:20.000
What do I mean by that? Some of you all will not date a ton of people. Your list is so long.

815
00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:28.000
Some of you have so many religious beliefs and systems that are infiltrating your list, and you're passing over really awesome people.

816
00:55:28.000 --> 00:55:37.000
So that's one aspect. Here's another thing. When we go through trauma, we tend to not only partner with lies,

817
00:55:37.000 --> 00:55:45.000
but we tend to make vows internally that we partner with, and those vows turn into what we call in this community,

818
00:55:45.000 --> 00:55:53.000
never will I ever statements. Now, when I give you some of these examples, here's the thing.

819
00:55:53.000 --> 00:56:02.000
We are not going to encourage you all ever to date someone that is actively an addict in any way, shape, or form.

820
00:56:02.000 --> 00:56:11.000
We're not going to encourage you to date someone who is abusive. We're not going to encourage you to date someone who is,

821
00:56:11.000 --> 00:56:17.000
what do I want to say, massively indebted and has no plan of working on it anytime soon.

822
00:56:17.000 --> 00:56:23.000
Why am I saying all this to you? Because what tends to happen is people will list out things like that, and I get it,

823
00:56:23.000 --> 00:56:28.000
because you've been hurt by things like that in the past. But that's not what we're looking for.

824
00:56:28.000 --> 00:56:36.000
We're looking for aspects of your never will I ever that have been informed from trauma in different ways.

825
00:56:36.000 --> 00:56:41.000
But we also want you to start asking God, what are your God non-negotiables?

826
00:56:41.000 --> 00:56:50.000
You're like, hey, for example, one of mine was I wanted to marry someone that wanted to have children.

827
00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:56.000
Okay, so no matter where they were at in their journey, that wasn't something I wanted to convince them of.

828
00:56:56.000 --> 00:57:01.000
I wanted them to also want to have children because I've been around that block twice before,

829
00:57:01.000 --> 00:57:05.000
where the other people, when I got married before, he wanted more kids.

830
00:57:05.000 --> 00:57:09.000
He had a son before we got married, and then once we got married, he was like, oh, I changed my mind.

831
00:57:09.000 --> 00:57:15.000
What? And then I was trapped, you all.

832
00:57:15.000 --> 00:57:22.000
Yeah. And then dated someone, you know, the girl's dad, which we weren't married, obviously, but like, same thing.

833
00:57:22.000 --> 00:57:28.000
So I kept attracting people that were saying they wanted kids, but then would renege. It was really weird.

834
00:57:28.000 --> 00:57:32.000
And so see how even these things can start to, well, that comes out of vows.

835
00:57:32.000 --> 00:57:36.000
That comes out of statements that we partner with and lies that we believe.

836
00:57:36.000 --> 00:57:41.000
It attracts these people to us, whether we realize it or not.

837
00:57:41.000 --> 00:57:44.000
All right. So some examples really quick. This is how it goes.

838
00:57:44.000 --> 00:57:49.000
Never will I ever date blank because blank.

839
00:57:49.000 --> 00:57:52.000
So you're going to work on filling in the blanks. Here are some examples.

840
00:57:52.000 --> 00:58:00.000
Never will I ever date a man who has been divorced or already has kids.

841
00:58:00.000 --> 00:58:07.000
Never will I ever date someone that has any debt at all.

842
00:58:07.000 --> 00:58:15.000
You know, we're not talking about people massively in debt, but we have some people that literally, if a guy has any debt at all, they will not even consider that guy.

843
00:58:15.000 --> 00:58:24.000
Well, hey, ladies, just like us, sometimes you have to hire a lawyer when you're fighting for your kids and lawyers are freaking expensive.

844
00:58:24.000 --> 00:58:27.000
Maybe you have school loans that haven't been totally paid off yet.

845
00:58:27.000 --> 00:58:30.000
Well, guess what? Guys have that stuff, too.

846
00:58:30.000 --> 00:58:35.000
Maybe you're one of the ones that you've already paid all that stuff off and you don't have any of that. Awesome.

847
00:58:35.000 --> 00:58:40.000
That's fabulous. But not everybody has the same journey.

848
00:58:40.000 --> 00:58:44.000
So let's extend a little bit of grace. But again, that's that's some that people have.

849
00:58:44.000 --> 00:58:49.000
Never will I ever date someone I'm not very sexually attracted to.

850
00:58:49.000 --> 00:58:57.000
If I don't feel all the fireworks when I'm I'm I'm out on my first date and we got all this chemistry.

851
00:58:57.000 --> 00:59:00.000
That guy's not for me.

852
00:59:00.000 --> 00:59:04.000
Y'all, this is stuff we do. I used to do it, too.

853
00:59:04.000 --> 00:59:09.000
We think it's got to be this like massive. I want to jump his bones right now.

854
00:59:09.000 --> 00:59:14.000
Feeling y'all. I know some of y'all are laughing because this is legit.

855
00:59:14.000 --> 00:59:18.000
We might not say it, but we think it and we feel it.

856
00:59:18.000 --> 00:59:23.000
OK, and we're not saying we want y'all to date people that you're not attracted to at all.

857
00:59:23.000 --> 00:59:28.000
But the reality is, as you as you're in our community, you're going to learn more and more about this.

858
00:59:28.000 --> 00:59:33.000
It's a yes until it's a no. When you start in the dating phase, you're not in that phase right now.

859
00:59:33.000 --> 00:59:36.000
Remember, you're in the heart work. So you're pressing pause on dating here.

860
00:59:36.000 --> 00:59:44.000
But when you come to that point, you know, sometimes people that you you've always had a type that you're attracted to.

861
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:49.000
Well, that type hasn't really worked out for you. And I had to learn that, too.

862
00:59:49.000 --> 00:59:54.000
I tended to attract bad boys. Don't even know why.

863
00:59:54.000 --> 00:59:58.000
I mean, I know why now, but back then I didn't.

864
00:59:58.000 --> 01:00:00.000
Well, then I.

865
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.880
attracted Brian. And I mean, he literally got called into the

866
01:00:04.880 --> 01:00:10.440
ministry at like 16 years old, you all. I actually like, I'm

867
01:00:10.440 --> 01:00:14.000
like, I've done some really bad things. I don't know if this is

868
01:00:14.000 --> 01:00:18.140
gonna work. Literally, we had that conversation. We didn't

869
01:00:18.140 --> 01:00:20.760
talk about all the bad things that I did. But like, even as a

870
01:00:20.760 --> 01:00:23.440
teenager, I got into some trouble. I never got in trouble

871
01:00:23.440 --> 01:00:27.160
with the law officially, but I probably could have y'all I was

872
01:00:27.160 --> 01:00:31.400
like rambunctious and all kinds of stuff. And so you know, then

873
01:00:31.400 --> 01:00:34.560
I date someone who he's just not that he never did anything

874
01:00:34.560 --> 01:00:38.960
wrong, but y'all, he was a good boy. And that's not a bad thing.

875
01:00:39.200 --> 01:00:42.440
Okay. But I just want you all to think about some of these

876
01:00:42.440 --> 01:00:46.120
things. Here's some more. Never will I ever date a pastor or

877
01:00:46.120 --> 01:00:49.520
someone in ministry. Never will I ever date someone that's been

878
01:00:49.520 --> 01:00:52.720
in the military, a police officer, maybe it's a

879
01:00:52.720 --> 01:00:55.960
firefighter, whatever that is for you a doctor, I don't know.

880
01:00:56.440 --> 01:01:00.600
Never will I ever date I'm just making up this name, a man whose

881
01:01:00.600 --> 01:01:05.120
name is john or Robert or David, because you dated or were with

882
01:01:05.120 --> 01:01:07.400
someone that had that name or you went through something

883
01:01:07.400 --> 01:01:11.920
horrible. And the person that did something to you had that

884
01:01:12.000 --> 01:01:15.920
name. Now, am I saying that God's gonna force you to be

885
01:01:15.920 --> 01:01:20.560
with someone that has that name? No. But what I am saying,

886
01:01:20.600 --> 01:01:25.080
interestingly enough, because I've been through it. My oldest

887
01:01:25.080 --> 01:01:30.360
brother, who was my main abuser, his name is Brian. Y'all

888
01:01:30.360 --> 01:01:35.080
my husband's name is Brian. And I remember one day saying to the

889
01:01:35.080 --> 01:01:39.400
Lord, like, you couldn't have sent me someone without the name

890
01:01:39.400 --> 01:01:43.960
Brian. Like why? Why does he have to have the name Brian?

891
01:01:44.360 --> 01:01:46.880
See, this is how God and I like I literally talked to God like

892
01:01:46.880 --> 01:01:51.640
this. And this is what God said to me. Bethany, I'm gonna redeem

893
01:01:51.640 --> 01:01:56.160
the name Brian for you. That's literally sincerely you all

894
01:01:56.160 --> 01:02:00.560
immediately. That's what I heard. And I'm grateful for

895
01:02:00.560 --> 01:02:07.240
that. Because a name means something you all and I didn't

896
01:02:07.240 --> 01:02:10.280
want to avoid someone Yeah, Brian can't change his name.

897
01:02:10.280 --> 01:02:15.360
That's right. He can't, you know. And so I know people that

898
01:02:15.360 --> 01:02:19.520
literally won't swipe on people, even though they have a good

899
01:02:19.520 --> 01:02:24.560
profile because of their name. Okay, real real stuff. This is

900
01:02:24.560 --> 01:02:29.800
real stuff. Here's the last one. Never will I ever date a man of

901
01:02:29.800 --> 01:02:33.480
a certain age because your ex was a certain age. Maybe some of

902
01:02:33.480 --> 01:02:36.120
you dated in a certain age range. And now you just like,

903
01:02:36.120 --> 01:02:39.960
No, I'm not dating. Or like what we've had happened a lot. And

904
01:02:39.960 --> 01:02:42.160
this might be, you know, hit home for some people in here

905
01:02:42.160 --> 01:02:48.040
too. Um, you know, especially with widows who have lost their

906
01:02:48.040 --> 01:02:52.400
spouse, they are afraid to date anyone older than them at all.

907
01:02:53.280 --> 01:02:56.720
Because they've already gone through losing their spouse. And

908
01:02:56.720 --> 01:03:00.080
so they're terrified of losing their spouse. Here's the truth

909
01:03:00.080 --> 01:03:08.600
you all Brian is only two years older than me. He's had a lot of

910
01:03:08.600 --> 01:03:12.680
medical things throughout his life. He had some things happen

911
01:03:12.680 --> 01:03:17.720
literally a year and a half after we got married. Do you

912
01:03:17.720 --> 01:03:20.080
think I wasn't scared that something was going to happen to

913
01:03:20.080 --> 01:03:24.960
him? It can happen at any age you all not that we were not

914
01:03:24.960 --> 01:03:27.560
believing for those things. But I just want you all to not be

915
01:03:27.560 --> 01:03:30.600
like, base it on a certain age that that age is going to

916
01:03:30.600 --> 01:03:34.120
determine that because that's not truth. Remember what we

917
01:03:34.120 --> 01:03:39.280
partner with what we believe we become and what we attract. Okay,

918
01:03:39.400 --> 01:03:42.800
so we really have to guard our minds and take authority over

919
01:03:42.800 --> 01:03:47.240
this stuff. Okay, awesome. So you guys are going to write those

920
01:03:47.240 --> 01:03:49.440
lists out and then you're going to come in the group and you're

921
01:03:49.440 --> 01:03:53.040
going to share them with us. And the coaches myself and the other

922
01:03:53.040 --> 01:03:56.800
two ladies, Andrea and Kelly Stotler are going to be giving

923
01:03:56.800 --> 01:03:59.320
you some coaching feedback on some of those because some of

924
01:03:59.320 --> 01:04:01.840
you all have some want some doozies and I want you to be

925
01:04:01.840 --> 01:04:04.800
honest, share them with us, because you may not even

926
01:04:04.800 --> 01:04:08.040
realize that's going to be a signal to healing that you need.

927
01:04:08.280 --> 01:04:12.600
Okay, deal. All right. Awesome. Catherine, I would love to hear

928
01:04:12.600 --> 01:04:13.520
what you have to say.

929
01:04:19.400 --> 01:04:24.840
Yes, for me, and I and I love how like, God's really been

930
01:04:24.880 --> 01:04:28.160
working through me this school year. And this hard work, it

931
01:04:28.200 --> 01:04:30.920
amazes me and everything. And I guess like I really been

932
01:04:30.920 --> 01:04:34.440
reflecting a lot plus the school year's ending. So I think about

933
01:04:34.440 --> 01:04:38.840
how my students have grown, how my son's grown to. Yeah. And I

934
01:04:38.840 --> 01:04:42.720
started off like, at the very, very, very beginning of hard

935
01:04:42.720 --> 01:04:48.800
work of, wow, the fact that my son's father made wedding vows

936
01:04:48.920 --> 01:04:52.160
till death do us part, and he didn't keep them totally

937
01:04:52.160 --> 01:04:57.880
demolished and ruined my life to now I'm at the point that the

938
01:04:57.880 --> 01:05:00.120
only thing that bothers me about

939
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.560
But it is how it affects my son.

940
01:05:03.560 --> 01:05:04.040
That's it.

941
01:05:04.880 --> 01:05:12.360
And the fact that we have to be like 220 something miles away because I could not

942
01:05:12.360 --> 01:05:14.440
afford the cost of living on long Island.

943
01:05:15.280 --> 01:05:19.480
And, um, and I know right off the bat, I know what non-negotiables I would, I, in

944
01:05:19.480 --> 01:05:24.840
my case, I would need a man that's willing to live in New York because I had to

945
01:05:24.840 --> 01:05:29.640
promise I'll keep him in New York so that I could get in writing.

946
01:05:29.640 --> 01:05:31.280
I could leave long Island, New York.

947
01:05:32.120 --> 01:05:38.560
But I also made that promise because in the education field, I know, and even

948
01:05:38.560 --> 01:05:45.280
healthcare wise and OPWDD, meaning services for him and job coaching and

949
01:05:45.280 --> 01:05:46.800
any possible thing you can need.

950
01:05:47.680 --> 01:05:49.680
We got great stuff for that in New York.

951
01:05:49.760 --> 01:05:51.560
So I could make that promise to him.

952
01:05:52.280 --> 01:05:57.760
But right now, like, I think I'm at the stage in my heart work about, well, how

953
01:05:57.760 --> 01:06:01.440
do I help him navigate this?

954
01:06:01.880 --> 01:06:04.000
Because I see him, like he's got a phone.

955
01:06:04.000 --> 01:06:05.240
I did give him a phone this year.

956
01:06:05.240 --> 01:06:08.400
I know he's only in second grade, but he's actually very responsible with it.

957
01:06:09.080 --> 01:06:10.400
He'll video chat his dad.

958
01:06:10.400 --> 01:06:16.880
He'll call him Hill and that helps, but I can tell it really bothers him.

959
01:06:17.560 --> 01:06:20.720
So I'm hurting because he's hurting.

960
01:06:20.720 --> 01:06:23.440
And I'm like, trying to think of how best to help him.

961
01:06:23.840 --> 01:06:24.840
Help him do the hard work.

962
01:06:24.840 --> 01:06:29.040
So you teach him what you've been learning, excuse me, on his level.

963
01:06:29.960 --> 01:06:34.960
So we encourage you all get a Jesus cares board out, help him learn how to create

964
01:06:34.960 --> 01:06:35.520
his own.

965
01:06:35.680 --> 01:06:39.400
So he would write his own little notes on there with his own little handwriting

966
01:06:39.760 --> 01:06:41.720
of what does he want to give to Jesus?

967
01:06:41.720 --> 01:06:46.120
So if he wants to put his dad on the Jesus cares board, you know, then he

968
01:06:46.120 --> 01:06:49.960
would, he would know that Jesus cares about his relationship with his dad.

969
01:06:50.480 --> 01:06:55.600
Um, and you all those simple things, teaching our kids or even siblings or

970
01:06:55.600 --> 01:07:00.160
people like, you know, I know it can be tough sometimes to be vulnerable with

971
01:07:00.160 --> 01:07:02.680
people, not remember, you're going to choose with safe people.

972
01:07:02.760 --> 01:07:03.960
This is different with our kids.

973
01:07:03.960 --> 01:07:07.680
She can share with them, but just like you may want to open up at some point and

974
01:07:07.680 --> 01:07:11.400
share like some things you put on your Jesus cares board that God's already

975
01:07:11.400 --> 01:07:12.960
answering or he's responding to her.

976
01:07:12.960 --> 01:07:15.160
You're just like, Hey, I was struggling with this today.

977
01:07:15.160 --> 01:07:16.960
And I just felt led to put it on my Jesus cares board.

978
01:07:16.960 --> 01:07:19.560
People are going to be like, what, what's a Jesus cares board?

979
01:07:19.800 --> 01:07:23.680
And they're going to ask you, but teaching our kids how to do that, man,

980
01:07:23.680 --> 01:07:27.960
think of the skill that they're going to learn at a young age to develop what we

981
01:07:27.960 --> 01:07:29.440
have been working on as adults.

982
01:07:29.440 --> 01:07:29.840
Right.

983
01:07:30.200 --> 01:07:33.560
And so I would encourage you to do that, Catherine, in his own way.

984
01:07:33.560 --> 01:07:36.320
I mean, he'll, he'll learn how to apply that.

985
01:07:36.360 --> 01:07:40.880
I mean, we just had, um, third, fourth and fifth graders that we brought over

986
01:07:40.880 --> 01:07:42.600
from this elementary school this year.

987
01:07:42.920 --> 01:07:46.000
Um, which I know you said your son's a little bit younger, but we're considering

988
01:07:46.000 --> 01:07:50.400
bringing the younger grades over this year because these kids, I'll tell you

989
01:07:50.400 --> 01:07:55.080
what, they pick up Bible, they pick up truth really, really effectively.

990
01:07:55.480 --> 01:08:00.120
Um, and so, yeah, I think that that is, is really important and know that,

991
01:08:00.560 --> 01:08:05.280
um, you know, God cares about the pain that you're feeling for your son too.

992
01:08:05.720 --> 01:08:10.160
And he wants to heal your son and help him learn how to thrive just

993
01:08:10.160 --> 01:08:11.640
like he's teaching you how to thrive.

994
01:08:12.640 --> 01:08:12.960
You know?

995
01:08:12.960 --> 01:08:13.160
Yeah.

996
01:08:13.160 --> 01:08:16.000
And then that also explains to how I felt prompted.

997
01:08:16.000 --> 01:08:21.840
Like for me, I bought myself a copy of the heartwork book on Kindle on Amazon

998
01:08:21.840 --> 01:08:29.359
Kindle, but I felt prompted to buy a hard copy of the book and that's going to be.

999
01:08:29.840 --> 01:08:30.880
That's my son's book.

1000
01:08:31.000 --> 01:08:32.760
I say, that's what I bought him that.

1001
01:08:33.160 --> 01:08:36.319
And as he gets bigger and like, I know Jackie said, it's easy

1002
01:08:36.319 --> 01:08:37.840
enough for a fifth grader to read.

1003
01:08:37.840 --> 01:08:42.160
And I didn't realize how I just got to teach him the composition, but I didn't

1004
01:08:42.160 --> 01:08:48.200
realize, man, his sight word reading is above grade level, totally above grade

1005
01:08:48.200 --> 01:08:48.479
level.

1006
01:08:48.640 --> 01:08:51.359
So it's just the amount of getting him to understand, but then write the

1007
01:08:51.359 --> 01:08:53.720
visuals, the, and that's where I can show him.

1008
01:08:53.720 --> 01:08:57.760
I can just a lot of visuals and I can show him it, but otherwise he can

1009
01:08:57.760 --> 01:09:00.120
read a lot of word decoding them.

1010
01:09:00.319 --> 01:09:00.920
It's amazing.

1011
01:09:00.920 --> 01:09:04.800
Sometimes just so you all know, sometimes what I'll do, like when I build

1012
01:09:04.800 --> 01:09:10.800
children's lessons for church is I'll take a concept and just do research on

1013
01:09:10.800 --> 01:09:13.880
how to break it down for like a second grader to understand.

1014
01:09:13.920 --> 01:09:17.920
Like I'll just do research that if I, if I don't know how to do it myself, I

1015
01:09:17.920 --> 01:09:19.840
pull from the knowledge of other people.

1016
01:09:20.160 --> 01:09:24.960
Um, and then I did, I do tend to use visuals and pictures cause kids like can

1017
01:09:24.960 --> 01:09:28.680
read, can hear and seeing helps them connect even more.

1018
01:09:29.040 --> 01:09:30.960
Um, so we'll be praying for you about that.

1019
01:09:30.960 --> 01:09:32.920
Catherine, keep us posted on how he's doing.

1020
01:09:32.920 --> 01:09:34.680
What is your son's first name again?

1021
01:09:35.000 --> 01:09:35.800
I don't remember.

1022
01:09:36.319 --> 01:09:37.000
Jacob.

1023
01:09:37.000 --> 01:09:39.600
I actually named him after Abraham's grandson.

1024
01:09:40.120 --> 01:09:41.359
That was definitely on purpose.

1025
01:09:42.520 --> 01:09:44.560
Let me just pray for Jacob right now.

1026
01:09:44.560 --> 01:09:45.080
Okay.

1027
01:09:45.319 --> 01:09:48.240
Jacob father, we just thank you so much for Jacob.

1028
01:09:49.640 --> 01:09:51.880
We thank you for Catherine and all the work that she's been

1029
01:09:51.880 --> 01:09:53.000
putting in with the heartwork.

1030
01:09:53.000 --> 01:09:56.520
God, we just ask you to surround Jacob and lift him up and encourage him.

1031
01:09:56.520 --> 01:09:59.480
We ask you to heal his heart from just the brokenness of.

1032
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.400
Seeing his dad and his mom not being together, Lord, I pray that you would just be with him when,

1033
01:10:05.600 --> 01:10:10.080
Lord, in the nighttime, in the daytime, that you would just sense your presence. And I just thank

1034
01:10:10.080 --> 01:10:16.080
you, God, that you'll give Catherine creative ideas of how to help him understand the heartwork

1035
01:10:16.080 --> 01:10:22.720
and to know that Jesus loves him and that he can trust God to take care of all of his needs,

1036
01:10:22.720 --> 01:10:28.560
all of his cares, and that you see him in every moment. In Jesus' name. Amen. Actually,

1037
01:10:28.560 --> 01:10:32.640
I just thought of something, Catherine. I'm going to look it up real quick. I just bought this

1038
01:10:32.640 --> 01:10:38.160
because I've been in buying some books to start stocking up for whatever age foster kids we get.

1039
01:10:38.160 --> 01:10:43.120
So I've been buying a couple of different things. And I just bought this one that I absolutely,

1040
01:10:43.120 --> 01:10:48.240
I read it the other night. I was like teary-eyed. I was crying. It was so sweet. Hold on one second.

1041
01:10:49.200 --> 01:10:59.200
It's called Just In Case You Ever Wonder by Max Lucado. Oh, wow. And I like him. He's good too.

1042
01:10:59.200 --> 01:11:07.680
Just In Case You Ever Wonder by Max Lucado. It was not super expensive. You could maybe even

1043
01:11:07.680 --> 01:11:15.600
find it at a resale place for books. But the story that is told in this, it's just really,

1044
01:11:15.680 --> 01:11:20.960
really beautiful to help kids understand how special they are and how much God loves them.

1045
01:11:20.960 --> 01:11:26.400
So just a little, if you want to check that out, totally up to you. And for anyone else,

1046
01:11:26.400 --> 01:11:31.040
if you're looking for a good book to help your kid understand their identity and their value,

1047
01:11:31.040 --> 01:11:35.760
it's really beautiful. Thank you for sharing, Catherine. Amanda, go ahead.

1048
01:11:36.400 --> 01:11:45.200
So something that came to me while you were talking, like I was thinking, I have a whole

1049
01:11:45.200 --> 01:11:50.000
list of people. I have probably receipts of people who I feel like have broken promises.

1050
01:11:51.600 --> 01:11:57.200
But the one that resonated the most to me, so as I'm going through the heart work, I've also

1051
01:11:57.200 --> 01:12:02.000
done some deeper counseling as well, because I knew that there were some more things that I really

1052
01:12:02.000 --> 01:12:08.480
needed to work through. I needed some help processing through. And one of the counselors

1053
01:12:08.480 --> 01:12:14.320
mentioned to me a distrust that I have with myself. Like I was talking about the distrust

1054
01:12:14.320 --> 01:12:19.840
that I was having with individuals, and there was a common theme. And so it reminded me tonight,

1055
01:12:19.840 --> 01:12:24.080
Holy Spirit just kind of reminded me that there's promises that I've broken to myself

1056
01:12:25.360 --> 01:12:28.160
that have kept me in cycles and patterns.

1057
01:12:28.560 --> 01:12:33.920
So times when I knew like discernment would come in or intuition would come in,

1058
01:12:33.920 --> 01:12:40.320
whatever you'd want to call it, the Holy Spirit blocking, but I kept patterns going.

1059
01:12:41.040 --> 01:12:45.280
There would be times where I would say, I'm not going to do that. There's one specific promise

1060
01:12:45.280 --> 01:12:54.160
that I made to myself back in 2019 that I broke. And because I broke that promise,

1061
01:12:54.160 --> 01:13:01.360
I'm dealing with a really, really difficult situation right now. And it's because I broke

1062
01:13:01.360 --> 01:13:09.520
a promise to myself. And it's kind of like one of those, you know what, it was a situationship.

1063
01:13:09.520 --> 01:13:18.000
I knew that once the door closed, I knew that I needed to keep it closed. And I did it.

1064
01:13:18.000 --> 01:13:22.320
Yeah. And I think that's like what you're getting to at the core, it kind of goes back with what I

1065
01:13:22.320 --> 01:13:29.120
was even saying earlier about the girl's dad. Like even with him, like he always was trying

1066
01:13:29.120 --> 01:13:36.080
to get me to go against my values and not like do the things that I knew that like I was committed

1067
01:13:36.080 --> 01:13:40.800
to waiting until marriage. And like, he was just always trying to get me to go against those things

1068
01:13:40.800 --> 01:13:45.600
I had already said. And that's what I was trying to do. I was trying to get me to go against my

1069
01:13:46.000 --> 01:13:50.960
those things I had already said. Another example is even like when I first met him,

1070
01:13:50.960 --> 01:13:55.760
because what I went through and the loss of my stepson, I told him, I don't want to meet like,

1071
01:13:55.760 --> 01:14:00.000
I don't want to meet your daughters for at least six months. Like I literally said that out of my

1072
01:14:00.000 --> 01:14:05.440
mouth multiple times. But then what he started doing is he would send me videos of his little

1073
01:14:05.440 --> 01:14:13.120
girls. We can't wait to meet you. Well, that just because I was not healed enough from my stepson,

1074
01:14:13.120 --> 01:14:20.240
man, that just like totally pulled at my, but see, he was doing that manipulatively. I 100%

1075
01:14:20.240 --> 01:14:29.200
know that. And so, um, hindsight, obviously I've learned a lot, but, um, I caved and literally

1076
01:14:29.200 --> 01:14:35.040
you all, I said, six months, you want to know how quick I met those girls? It was like three weeks.

1077
01:14:36.800 --> 01:14:42.080
And so then, you know, as I kept getting more and more caught up with the girls again, I don't,

1078
01:14:42.080 --> 01:14:48.880
it's not their fault. That was me. I chose to go against my own thing. And he was pushing that

1079
01:14:48.880 --> 01:14:55.360
kind of agenda, if you will. Well, so then I was just mad at myself internally the whole time

1080
01:14:55.360 --> 01:15:00.080
we dated, because if I had not, I really believe this with all my

1081
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.960
my heart. And again, I love those girls. I'm so glad I have

1082
01:15:03.960 --> 01:15:08.880
those relationships. But if I had not gone against that, I

1083
01:15:08.880 --> 01:15:12.920
don't think I would have dated him past six months. I really

1084
01:15:12.920 --> 01:15:16.560
don't think I would have because I saw so much in that first six

1085
01:15:16.560 --> 01:15:20.640
months. If I hadn't got the girls caught up in that, I think

1086
01:15:20.640 --> 01:15:24.480
I would have made a totally different choice. But so let's

1087
01:15:24.480 --> 01:15:28.080
talk about this. So where do you tend to distrust yourself the

1088
01:15:28.080 --> 01:15:36.640
most? So I think a lot of times like I, I will have this war

1089
01:15:36.640 --> 01:15:40.080
within myself. Like, am I really hearing from the Lord? Or is it

1090
01:15:40.200 --> 01:15:44.880
like, what is reality? What is fiction? What is my dream world?

1091
01:15:44.880 --> 01:15:50.400
Because I'm a dreamer. And I am like, I romanticize things like

1092
01:15:50.400 --> 01:15:53.720
where am I romanticizing things? Where am I fantasizing about

1093
01:15:53.720 --> 01:16:00.160
things? And where is it? Reality? Okay, so here's a key

1094
01:16:00.160 --> 01:16:05.560
for you. So I used to do that a lot too. And so one of the

1095
01:16:05.560 --> 01:16:10.760
things I learned was to start paying attention to when my

1096
01:16:10.760 --> 01:16:14.720
fantasy or romanticizing starts to kick in what's triggering

1097
01:16:14.720 --> 01:16:19.600
that. And I had to do a lot of work on what started that to

1098
01:16:19.600 --> 01:16:22.720
begin with in me. So when I was a kid, and I was going through

1099
01:16:22.720 --> 01:16:27.680
all that abuse and all that bad stuff, I would just like I can

1100
01:16:27.680 --> 01:16:30.880
literally even remember sitting in my backyard in the sun just

1101
01:16:31.040 --> 01:16:35.920
like dreaming I was somewhere else. And so it's not a bad

1102
01:16:35.920 --> 01:16:38.680
thing. I have a very vivid imagination. I think that's why

1103
01:16:38.680 --> 01:16:45.240
I can hear the Lord the way I do. But I also see like how,

1104
01:16:45.360 --> 01:16:48.720
again, like totally what you're saying, like even with their dad,

1105
01:16:48.720 --> 01:16:51.040
I remember the first time I drove up to his house, and I was

1106
01:16:51.040 --> 01:16:55.960
like, he has a nice house. I got all excited. I like started

1107
01:16:55.960 --> 01:17:00.720
just dreaming about us having that place together. Like the

1108
01:17:00.720 --> 01:17:03.080
first time I went to his house, and I'm already thinking about

1109
01:17:03.080 --> 01:17:06.320
all this stuff, right? Well, little did I know he was like

1110
01:17:06.320 --> 01:17:10.360
upside down so bad in that house. Right. But see, I had

1111
01:17:10.360 --> 01:17:16.160
fantasized about it so much that I wasn't paying attention to

1112
01:17:16.160 --> 01:17:19.600
reality when it was right in front of me. So when you're

1113
01:17:19.600 --> 01:17:22.440
looking at that, I really want to encourage you to ask the

1114
01:17:22.440 --> 01:17:26.960
Lord, when did you first start fantasizing romanticizing to

1115
01:17:26.960 --> 01:17:32.200
escape reality? And really love on that little girl Amanda,

1116
01:17:32.280 --> 01:17:36.120
because you did that for a purpose. And that purpose hat

1117
01:17:36.160 --> 01:17:40.480
was like your protective mechanism, your survival mode. I

1118
01:17:40.480 --> 01:17:44.120
just did a training on Saturday about like trauma informed

1119
01:17:44.120 --> 01:17:49.320
therapy for kids. And so often kids will do that kind of

1120
01:17:49.320 --> 01:17:52.280
stuff, because they're just trying to survive. And so

1121
01:17:52.280 --> 01:17:56.480
whatever you were trying to survive, again, that that's not

1122
01:17:56.480 --> 01:17:59.440
something to be upset with yourself about. So maybe even

1123
01:17:59.440 --> 01:18:02.400
that, like forgiving yourself for the times that you have

1124
01:18:02.400 --> 01:18:06.720
romanticized or fantasized. And that led you down paths that

1125
01:18:06.720 --> 01:18:09.960
didn't end up helping you, but they ended up hurting you. Just

1126
01:18:09.960 --> 01:18:12.920
forgiving yourself for that. Because again, that was

1127
01:18:12.920 --> 01:18:17.200
something you learn to do to protect yourself. And so giving

1128
01:18:17.560 --> 01:18:20.520
that grace to yourself for giving yourself for those

1129
01:18:20.520 --> 01:18:25.480
things and really loving on the little Amanda. And honestly,

1130
01:18:25.480 --> 01:18:30.400
just saying I understand why. But letting I know this might

1131
01:18:30.400 --> 01:18:33.680
sound a little silly, but like letting little Amanda know that

1132
01:18:33.680 --> 01:18:36.160
you don't need to do that anymore, because you're safe

1133
01:18:36.160 --> 01:18:40.640
now. Because again, like, even though we're adults, like we

1134
01:18:40.640 --> 01:18:44.480
have to acknowledge that this stuff happened, and that we

1135
01:18:44.480 --> 01:18:50.080
created these mechanisms to survive. And, you know, when we

1136
01:18:50.080 --> 01:18:54.240
don't need that stuff anymore, acknowledging the hurt that led

1137
01:18:54.240 --> 01:18:58.640
us there and loving on that person back then, again, creates

1138
01:18:58.640 --> 01:19:02.640
that convergence where the younger self heals and merges

1139
01:19:02.640 --> 01:19:06.000
with the adult self, which causes the adult to heal more.

1140
01:19:06.120 --> 01:19:11.200
That makes sense. Yeah. And so, and I really feel that giving

1141
01:19:11.200 --> 01:19:14.680
yourself that grace and really forgiving yourself. You know,

1142
01:19:14.680 --> 01:19:17.000
because I don't know if this resonates for you. But you know,

1143
01:19:17.000 --> 01:19:20.120
sometimes when we do this stuff, we can really beat ourselves up,

1144
01:19:20.160 --> 01:19:23.960
especially when it leads us into unhealthy dynamics and

1145
01:19:23.960 --> 01:19:26.880
situations kind of like what you were talking about before. And

1146
01:19:26.880 --> 01:19:32.360
so if you've been hard on yourself because of it, I even

1147
01:19:32.360 --> 01:19:36.400
want you to kind of think about some of those times and forgive

1148
01:19:36.400 --> 01:19:40.640
yourself for them. And as you do that, I think you're going to

1149
01:19:40.640 --> 01:19:43.240
start to feel some freedom. I think you'll start to feel kind

1150
01:19:43.240 --> 01:19:46.680
of some separation in between it. It doesn't mean you won't

1151
01:19:46.680 --> 01:19:50.280
still have an imagination or you won't ever struggle with that

1152
01:19:50.280 --> 01:19:54.160
again. But I think you'll start to sense that difference, where

1153
01:19:54.160 --> 01:19:57.040
when that tries to kick in, you'll you'll kind of like, Oh,

1154
01:19:57.600 --> 01:20:00.040
okay, no, that's not what the Lord is saying right now.

1155
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.480
this is what is real and this is what God is saying and I'm not going to ignore that

1156
01:20:05.200 --> 01:20:12.160
flag that I recognize, right? Yeah, I think I've been sensing that a little bit more

1157
01:20:12.880 --> 01:20:18.000
because I feel like there's been things that I've journaled about and then

1158
01:20:19.600 --> 01:20:25.040
people have spoken into my life like spiritual leaders or just people from church or whatever

1159
01:20:25.040 --> 01:20:32.400
have really just God has used them to speak directly into what I have written about.

1160
01:20:33.360 --> 01:20:40.000
So things that even from sometimes the class, sometimes the coaching and stuff like things

1161
01:20:40.000 --> 01:20:44.640
that the Lord has been putting in my heart has just come out here as well, you know what I mean?

1162
01:20:44.640 --> 01:20:49.280
So that's another way to say, okay, like that was real. Like that wasn't just the imagination. I

1163
01:20:49.280 --> 01:20:53.600
didn't just draw this picture. I just didn't just have the scripture. I didn't just put these

1164
01:20:53.600 --> 01:20:58.000
numbers out here that just, they resonated with me. This was a scripture that was referenced here

1165
01:20:58.000 --> 01:21:01.680
or this was somebody mentioned it here. There is a connection that comes there together. So

1166
01:21:02.320 --> 01:21:07.360
that's also helping in those things too that the Lord is really helping me see, okay,

1167
01:21:07.360 --> 01:21:11.520
here's where you can bridge the difference. Here's what you can sense because I'll prove it to you.

1168
01:21:11.520 --> 01:21:16.480
I'll give you some confirmation. Yes. So good. And I love hearing that you're getting additional

1169
01:21:16.480 --> 01:21:23.520
counseling during this time and you listened. Okay. So even though you said, I distrust myself,

1170
01:21:23.520 --> 01:21:30.560
sometimes you trusted that you needed additional support and you acted on that and that's helping

1171
01:21:30.560 --> 01:21:36.480
you. And I just want you to see that win and celebrate that because you doing that is actually

1172
01:21:37.040 --> 01:21:43.840
growing your ability to trust yourself. Yeah. Way to go. I love it. Thank you. Good to see you

1173
01:21:43.840 --> 01:21:58.080
tonight. Rachel, go ahead. I am almost done. I've got one last assignment on my heart work

1174
01:21:58.080 --> 01:22:09.760
and I've been stalling for, I don't know, maybe even a couple months going into phase two.

1175
01:22:09.760 --> 01:22:17.040
And so I guess I just am looking for some input on

1176
01:22:20.960 --> 01:22:28.640
or encouragement. I don't know if I need to stay in heart work or if I'm good to go and I'm just

1177
01:22:28.640 --> 01:22:34.880
stalling because I'm afraid of the next phase. Yeah. So that was going to be my question for

1178
01:22:34.880 --> 01:22:39.440
you. So what's the last thing you have to do? What's the one thing that you still have left?

1179
01:22:40.720 --> 01:22:52.960
It's the list of the non-negotiables. It's not the never will I ever, but it's the list.

1180
01:22:54.800 --> 01:23:01.920
Okay. And so when you try to do that, what is something coming up negative that you're hearing?

1181
01:23:02.720 --> 01:23:07.920
Are you afraid to not do it right? Are you afraid to just move forward? And so like,

1182
01:23:07.920 --> 01:23:12.400
what are some of the things that you're hearing in your spirit regarding even moving forward?

1183
01:23:13.200 --> 01:23:25.040
I think I'm I don't think that the problem is the list. I think that I'm not, it's the last task.

1184
01:23:25.040 --> 01:23:34.480
And so I'm avoiding it because it's the last task. And I have had like the past few months have been

1185
01:23:34.480 --> 01:23:44.000
super busy and I haven't been able to, you know, come online even, you know, and that's reasonable.

1186
01:23:44.000 --> 01:23:51.840
I know that part is, is real, but I've been, my schedule changed a few weeks ago. I could be done,

1187
01:23:51.840 --> 01:23:56.800
you know, this is. So tell me what are, what is, what are you afraid of in phase two?

1188
01:23:57.760 --> 01:24:04.720
I'm afraid of going back into dating again. Dating's really scary for me.

1189
01:24:09.360 --> 01:24:11.200
Tell me why, why is dating scary?

1190
01:24:13.760 --> 01:24:26.160
I'm afraid of rejection, which is normal. You know, that's not fun. I'm also afraid of

1191
01:24:27.120 --> 01:24:39.280
the dating process isn't, isn't fun. I struggle with that. And maybe that's stuff that you,

1192
01:24:39.280 --> 01:24:45.280
you know, we would deal with in phase two, like the thing, maybe the things that I'm struggling

1193
01:24:45.280 --> 01:24:51.200
with are the very reasons I need to be in phase two. Well, and so I will let everyone know. So

1194
01:24:51.200 --> 01:24:55.760
phase two, just because you go into phase two, doesn't mean you have to date automatically

1195
01:24:55.760 --> 01:24:59.680
right away. Now we do issue a dating challenge for anybody that feels.

1196
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.400
to do it. No one's going to force you to date. You're going to learn, and I'm not going to

1197
01:25:06.400 --> 01:25:09.880
go into explaining it tonight because you guys will learn this in phase two, but I just

1198
01:25:09.880 --> 01:25:16.800
want you to all hear this. You're going to learn a new way to approach dating. It's called

1199
01:25:16.800 --> 01:25:23.600
levels of relationship. We coach on it. It's effective. It's a really good kind of guideline.

1200
01:25:23.600 --> 01:25:29.200
It's not a rule system. It's just a guideline to help everyone date and show up differently

1201
01:25:29.200 --> 01:25:36.240
than what they learned from society, even from churches. And when people apply it, it

1202
01:25:36.240 --> 01:25:43.120
really does work. And so one of the things that stood out to me is, and I get it, I understand

1203
01:25:43.120 --> 01:25:48.640
why, afraid of rejection. We all face, you know, like even we will say, okay, this guy

1204
01:25:48.640 --> 01:25:55.360
isn't for me. We're going to bless and move on or whatever. But the reality is if we go

1205
01:25:55.360 --> 01:26:00.720
into it already believing we're going to get rejected, remember, we got to look at what's

1206
01:26:00.720 --> 01:26:05.920
causing us to show up in that heart posture. Yeah. Is it just because we got rejected before

1207
01:26:05.920 --> 01:26:10.880
or is it that we're still needing some healing regarding rejection? Now, do you need to stay

1208
01:26:10.880 --> 01:26:16.240
in phase one for that? No, because you're going to get heartwork done all the way through our

1209
01:26:16.240 --> 01:26:22.400
program. We have a lot of heartwork still that will, um, prompts and things. Our coaches in

1210
01:26:22.400 --> 01:26:29.280
phase two have been trained in the heartwork modalities and principles. Um, Carla in phase

1211
01:26:29.280 --> 01:26:33.120
two is one of our success stories as well. Like she's been through the program. She was actually

1212
01:26:33.120 --> 01:26:38.000
in the same group as me. Ebony has also been in our community for a long time. Just, we have a

1213
01:26:38.000 --> 01:26:42.960
lot of knowledgeable people and they've done work, they've been coaching. Um, and so they're,

1214
01:26:42.960 --> 01:26:47.280
they're really going to be able to help you learn how to apply what you're learning when you're

1215
01:26:47.280 --> 01:26:51.920
ready. And until you get ready, they can coach you on other things, even just getting over the

1216
01:26:52.000 --> 01:26:57.120
fears of dating and all of that stuff you talked about. But I really want to encourage you to look

1217
01:26:57.120 --> 01:27:05.600
at, um, what I'm hearing in my spirit is actually look at what is the dialogue you hear when you,

1218
01:27:06.240 --> 01:27:13.280
like in your mind, get rejected, like really allowing God to heal the story you're telling

1219
01:27:13.280 --> 01:27:23.280
yourself. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does. So for example, um, I, uh, the first guy I dated,

1220
01:27:23.280 --> 01:27:31.040
um, when I started dating again, he actually was from the community. Nice guy. Um, and I enjoyed

1221
01:27:31.040 --> 01:27:37.120
myself going on a couple of dates. Um, but I do remember thinking like this guy kind of seems

1222
01:27:37.120 --> 01:27:42.160
boring, but I kept kind of like telling myself I should just like him because he's from the community

1223
01:27:42.160 --> 01:27:47.440
and he's safe. And, you know, I don't have to go out in the scary world and date somebody,

1224
01:27:47.440 --> 01:27:55.040
you know? Um, and I was kind of having this side conversation. Well, it ended up, he ended up saying

1225
01:27:55.040 --> 01:27:59.920
to me that he didn't think like, God told him we should just be friends. He didn't think we should

1226
01:27:59.920 --> 01:28:05.760
date. And, but then he wanted to like, keep talking like in hanging out on zoom and stuff.

1227
01:28:05.760 --> 01:28:10.320
And, and so it was just really an interesting dynamic, but, um, ended up blessing him.

1228
01:28:11.040 --> 01:28:16.960
But I did say like, Hey, like I'm looking for my spirit mate. And if I'm spending time on zoom or

1229
01:28:16.960 --> 01:28:22.640
anything, talking to you, well, that space that I'm not then open for my spirit mates. So, you

1230
01:28:22.640 --> 01:28:26.320
know, I bless you. Thank you so much for being honest with me, even though this is hard, you

1231
01:28:26.320 --> 01:28:32.080
know, I, I agree with you and, um, but I need to keep that space open for my spirit mates. So,

1232
01:28:32.080 --> 01:28:37.680
you know, I'm not going to be meeting with you on zoom. Um, and so that stuff I learned in the

1233
01:28:37.680 --> 01:28:43.680
program. Um, and so I applied what I learned and I'm really glad I did because that guy

1234
01:28:44.400 --> 01:28:48.160
struggles with the same thing over and over. He's still struggling with it.

1235
01:28:48.160 --> 01:28:51.920
He's not ready to commit with women and then he wants them to just be friends with him.

1236
01:28:51.920 --> 01:28:57.200
So he's in this cycle. Well, I'm glad I didn't get caught in that cycle. Right. And so, um, he

1237
01:28:57.200 --> 01:29:02.160
was a really nice guy. Um, and again, I don't fault him for that. There's a reason he's in that

1238
01:29:02.160 --> 01:29:08.960
cycle. So I'm praying for him that he gets that cycle. So, you know, the reason I'm using that as

1239
01:29:08.960 --> 01:29:18.800
an example is because when he told me that God told him that we weren't like, we were just meant

1240
01:29:18.800 --> 01:29:25.120
to be friends. Do you think I didn't feel rejected? Yeah, of course I did. But here's the thing.

1241
01:29:26.080 --> 01:29:34.160
I had an opportunity to just partner with I'm rejected or I could partner with I'm God defended

1242
01:29:34.880 --> 01:29:43.520
and God has someone better for me. I have a choice. You will have a choice too. Yeah. If I partnered

1243
01:29:43.520 --> 01:29:49.360
with, Oh, I'm just rejected. I'm not saying it's not going to hurt, but the reality is when I

1244
01:29:49.360 --> 01:29:54.400
partnered with, you know, he was a nice guy. I'm so glad I had that practice. He was a good guy to

1245
01:29:54.720 --> 01:29:59.360
go on my first date with a couple of days with, cause he was a gentleman. I wasn't afraid, you

1246
01:29:59.360 --> 01:29:59.840
know, and I really.

1247
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:06.560
started just being super thankful for the experiences that I had. Well, that fueled me

1248
01:30:06.560 --> 01:30:12.960
to like not partner with rejection. You see? Yeah. Because I started partnering with all the benefits

1249
01:30:12.960 --> 01:30:18.800
of the interaction, even on in interactions. I tell this and joke around about this story,

1250
01:30:18.800 --> 01:30:24.320
but I had this guy that I talked to briefly just via text and stuff. I never ended up meeting him

1251
01:30:24.320 --> 01:30:29.760
in person, which I'm super glad I didn't, but I was messaging him. And one night he sent me

1252
01:30:29.760 --> 01:30:35.200
a message that was like, he was sending me pictures of like, you know, his motorcycle

1253
01:30:35.200 --> 01:30:38.720
and then his parents with his motorcycle and all this stuff. And at first it was cool. Okay.

1254
01:30:38.720 --> 01:30:41.840
But then he just kind of was like sending me all these photos. Well, then the next thing I know,

1255
01:30:41.840 --> 01:30:51.120
he says, do you want to see a pic of my wiener? Let legit you all. And I was instantly fuming

1256
01:30:51.840 --> 01:30:58.720
and I was like, excuse me. And I'm sure he knew, you know, cause then what he ends up sending me

1257
01:30:58.720 --> 01:31:04.720
is a picture of a, a little like, um, wiener dog, hot dog costume, trying to act like he wasn't

1258
01:31:04.720 --> 01:31:10.720
saying what he was saying. And so, but I knew like, I knew that was God revealing to me who

1259
01:31:10.720 --> 01:31:18.400
this guy was very quickly. Well, you all, I like ended up like kind of shutting that down and we

1260
01:31:18.400 --> 01:31:24.560
had a session that night. So I got on our session for the community. And when I got off my phone

1261
01:31:24.560 --> 01:31:33.520
had so many messages from him, it was ridiculous. And the guy just like lost it. Um, so all that to

1262
01:31:33.520 --> 01:31:39.840
say, you know, you're, we're going to have negative experiences too, but the reality is, do you know

1263
01:31:39.840 --> 01:31:47.360
what I learned out of that? I noticed the red flags and I didn't blow past them. So like, again,

1264
01:31:47.360 --> 01:31:52.400
like not that I, that wasn't a rejection scenario, but do you see even in that, like, I could have

1265
01:31:52.400 --> 01:31:57.920
been like, Oh my God, that was the worst experience ever, which it was very uncomfortable, but now

1266
01:31:57.920 --> 01:32:03.120
it's a really funny story that I can tell. And how many other ladies like, Hey, if a guy asks you,

1267
01:32:03.120 --> 01:32:08.960
if you want to see a pic of his wiener, he means it. No, you don't want to see that, you know?

1268
01:32:08.960 --> 01:32:16.080
But the reality is, is I learned that I could pay attention to red flags and I can find myself

1269
01:32:16.080 --> 01:32:21.200
and set healthy boundaries. Even when the guy continued to try to blow up my phone, I can block

1270
01:32:21.200 --> 01:32:29.200
him. I blessed him. I'm like, we're done block him. Uh, you know, again, I see growth in myself.

1271
01:32:29.200 --> 01:32:34.880
So you, I think can do the same thing. So, you know, some of the things, the last thing I'll

1272
01:32:34.880 --> 01:32:38.560
give you, and this is for everybody. I was listening. I was watching a show this afternoon,

1273
01:32:38.560 --> 01:32:44.880
but I was thinking of myself, even like this lady was sharing how, interestingly enough,

1274
01:32:44.880 --> 01:32:49.760
she adopted her son and she was talking to her son in this scenario. And she said that

1275
01:32:51.120 --> 01:32:55.680
her husband really wanted to adopt, but she was actually not really sure in the beginning. And

1276
01:32:55.680 --> 01:33:01.280
he was like, what? I can't even imagine that she was such a good mom. And so the mom and the son

1277
01:33:01.280 --> 01:33:08.640
are having this conversation. And she said, yeah, here's the thing. I learned that I, even though I

1278
01:33:08.640 --> 01:33:16.960
was scared that I can do things afraid. That's good. Right. And it is good. It's a good reminder.

1279
01:33:16.960 --> 01:33:22.480
I think the reality is so many of us, we feel fear and we automatically think that means we have to

1280
01:33:22.480 --> 01:33:28.800
stop. But the reality, the truth is that God says, be strong and have good courage.

1281
01:33:30.160 --> 01:33:37.200
Know that I've gone before you. He's with us. Yeah. So I would pray every time, like in the

1282
01:33:37.200 --> 01:33:41.920
beginning, you know, this is, again, this is how I learned in the beginning. I didn't pray every

1283
01:33:41.920 --> 01:33:46.880
time before I would get on, you know, and try to talk to people. But as I went, I sure enough,

1284
01:33:46.880 --> 01:33:51.840
I did pray. Thank you so much that you're going to help me interact with good people. You're going

1285
01:33:51.840 --> 01:33:57.200
to help me to, you know, really recognize things quickly. And I just started praying all the time

1286
01:33:57.200 --> 01:34:03.120
over my interactions and God honored that. He really did. Yeah. So Rachel, you've got this,

1287
01:34:03.680 --> 01:34:08.880
you can totally, okay, we're going to hold you accountable. Okay. I think you can, you can get

1288
01:34:08.880 --> 01:34:14.960
this thing done this week. I think I can. Yeah, you can. And we won't be upset with you if you

1289
01:34:14.960 --> 01:34:19.360
don't. Okay. But I think you can do it. And I think you can go ahead and take that leap

1290
01:34:19.920 --> 01:34:26.720
and get into phase two and experience the teaching and the lessons there and the amazing coaches,

1291
01:34:27.280 --> 01:34:34.720
and just keep giving yourself permission to grow as you go. Okay. Okay. You're growing as you're

1292
01:34:34.720 --> 01:34:41.120
going. It doesn't have to have it all figured out right now. Right. Yeah. Good. I appreciate it.

1293
01:34:41.120 --> 01:34:46.240
You're welcome. God loves you. He has good things for you ladies. This has been an incredible night.

1294
01:34:46.240 --> 01:34:50.240
It's been an honor to be here with you. I'm going to go ahead and pray and close us out.

1295
01:34:50.240 --> 01:34:54.320
If you have questions about anything that I talked about tonight, or you're just really struggling

1296
01:34:54.320 --> 01:34:59.840
around the promise that was broken, you know, that someone broke the promise to you.

1297
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.000
I really want to encourage you to come in the group and talk to us about it, okay?

1298
01:35:04.000 --> 01:35:07.000
We want to help you work through that, and we're praying for you.

1299
01:35:07.000 --> 01:35:11.000
Father, thank you so much for your goodness.

1300
01:35:11.000 --> 01:35:16.000
Yes, Lord, I just thank you that you would breathe life into every broken promise,

1301
01:35:16.000 --> 01:35:19.000
that you would breathe healing.

1302
01:35:19.000 --> 01:35:24.000
There's an old song that just came up in my spirit about healing rain is coming down.

1303
01:35:24.000 --> 01:35:26.000
Michael W. Smith, I think, is who sang that.

1304
01:35:26.000 --> 01:35:29.000
God, I thank you that the healing rain is still surrounding us.

1305
01:35:29.000 --> 01:35:33.000
We ask you just to wash into every crevice, Lord, where there's, you know,

1306
01:35:33.000 --> 01:35:38.000
things that have gotten dammed up because of brokenness or pain from the past.

1307
01:35:38.000 --> 01:35:41.000
God, we just ask you to remove all the debris, God,

1308
01:35:41.000 --> 01:35:45.000
and that you would just help the river of living water to flow through us

1309
01:35:45.000 --> 01:35:51.000
to remove any, yeah, just the chaff and the things that hinder us, God.

1310
01:35:51.000 --> 01:35:54.000
We thank you that you would draw us closer to your heart, to your love,

1311
01:35:54.000 --> 01:35:58.000
to the revelation of who you are in all the ways, God, that you're working in our lives.

1312
01:35:58.000 --> 01:36:02.000
God, open our eyes to what we couldn't even see today earlier.

1313
01:36:02.000 --> 01:36:06.000
Help us to see things more clearly tonight and in the days to come, God,

1314
01:36:06.000 --> 01:36:10.000
that you would just help us to see, God, how you've been with us all along.

1315
01:36:10.000 --> 01:36:13.000
You've been protecting us. You've been defending us, God,

1316
01:36:13.000 --> 01:36:18.000
and that at times you set up the baby gates so that we don't harm ourselves, God.

1317
01:36:18.000 --> 01:36:23.000
But no matter what, even when we go against what you're saying to us in the spirit,

1318
01:36:23.000 --> 01:36:26.000
like you're saying, don't go that way, and we still do.

1319
01:36:26.000 --> 01:36:28.000
God, your graces and your mercy are sufficient,

1320
01:36:28.000 --> 01:36:32.000
and we're so grateful for your mercy that is new every day.

1321
01:36:32.000 --> 01:36:34.000
Help us to forgive ourselves.

1322
01:36:34.000 --> 01:36:38.000
Help us to settle, you know, accounts, so to speak, with the past

1323
01:36:38.000 --> 01:36:43.000
and move forward to see all the good plans unfold before us in the days to come.

1324
01:36:43.000 --> 01:36:46.000
In Jesus' name, amen. God bless you all.

1325
01:36:46.000 --> 01:36:50.000
We'll see you in the group, everyone. Have a good night. Bye-bye.

1326
01:36:50.000 --> 01:36:52.000
Bye. Have a good night.

1327
01:36:52.000 --> 01:36:53.000
Bye.