This is my favorite.
You're right.
I'm looking at your last name.
Your last name stands out to me more than your first name.
Does it?
It's Rosales, right?
Yeah.
Yes, ma'am.
Yes, it could be a little dark in my background,
but I've been doing a lot of coaching today.
And so the light from the screen, my computer,
is really, I'll be looking like this if I didn't cut it out.
So I decided to turn it out.
Hey, so Kim, iPhone 14.
Is this your first time with us?
Yeah?
OK, good.
So did you just come over to phase two or?
Oh, good.
Well, welcome, welcome, welcome.
We're so happy to have you.
You can unmute if you want to respond.
You don't have to if you don't want to.
OK.
So that's everybody else's first.
Nobody else, this is your first time.
Is that right?
No, hey, Miss Bunny.
Hey, look, my numbers have been down
because we're in competition with Jackie's book club, right?
They meet all the time.
That's what everybody is.
It's usually about 38, 40 people.
But the book club is going on.
Hey, Karen.
Yeah, so Kim, this is your first time coming over to phase two.
I hope you enjoyed hard work.
Yeah, you did good, good.
Well, this is the part of your journey
where you get to put it all to use through dating.
And I'm excited to do this journey with you.
It's encouraged that you watch at least one video a week
and post your aha moments, share anything you have.
There's no requirement for you to watch a video
before you come to coaching.
It doesn't work that way.
This coaching session is about us learning and growing
together.
And it could be family, work.
It doesn't matter.
This session is for us all.
And so I think I've already recorded.
I'm super excited.
Let's pray, ladies.
I thank you, Father God, for every one of these ladies.
I thank you for their journeys.
If they haven't heard it today or yesterday or any day
before that, your eyes are upon them
and you have a finished work in mind, and it's called marriage.
I thank you that he who began a great work in them
is faithful to complete it.
I thank you, Lord, that we get to intercede on their behalf
and to declare over them that they
are part of a kingdom revival of marriages, God.
And so I thank you, Lord God, that you
are a great matchmaker, that you know
how to put us where we need to be, when we need to be.
I thank you, Lord God, that there is a spec to end,
for the Bible says that you make all things beautiful
in its time, and their story is no different.
So we declare beautiful love stories
made perfect in its time.
In Jesus' name, amen.
Amen.
I like that prayer.
I need some more light in there.
It's like I can't see y'all.
I had to open up the windows and let the light in.
Still, it's hurting my eyes.
Let me try another light.
Ah.
Has the glory of the Lord ascended upon me?
No, I'm just kidding.
It's just a joke.
OK.
So you know that Jackie is starting another book club.
So if you weren't able to get in the first one,
she's going to host another one.
Some people have asked about it.
You'll be able to join that book club.
It is a lot of fun.
The book is amazing.
If you haven't got it, you should.
All of Jackie's books are amazing.
They're easy to read.
And they just have so much goodness
stored up on the inside of them.
And so it's like having Jackie on demand right
in front of you in a book.
I don't know about y'all, but I've
been knowing Jackie for a while.
And I don't ever get tired of hearing her.
I don't know how that is.
I can watch the same videos that you all watch.
I watch them over and over.
And it's just like, I don't know.
It's about that truth that you get.
It's like it hits you again.
And that's why I want to practice
declaring truth over you guys as often as we
meet because you need it, right?
Because when you walk away from this community,
everything around you is not screaming the same message
that we are.
And it does you well to hear this message over and over
again until you become the message itself.
And so it takes hearing it.
It takes to keep your hopes up and to believe
that this thing is to be.
It takes a constant hearing and seeing of it.
And so we're convinced that God writes the best love story
because we've seen over 1,600 marriages and engagements.
So I have a reason to be convinced that he does.
Even if it doesn't show up, I still
believe because I've seen it too many times not to believe it.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
So great, great.
Cindy, is this your first time with us?
No.
Sorry, I've been having some internet connections.
Okay, okay, well good, so good to have you.
Esther Grace, you're welcome.
Esther Grace, I don't think this is your first time
based on your last name, is it?
It is not, well, my first time was last week.
Okay, okay, good, good, so where do you live?
I am in Berkeley, California.
I'm an MBA student here at Cal.
Yeah, I'm excited.
How nice, this is great, so you're on a campus
with plenty of men, we should have no problem
getting you married soon, right?
I don't know about that.
I do, give me, I can send you out, we'll get you done.
You should, you could be racking up them dates
left and right, huh, all right.
You got plenty of men, and based on your picture,
you look beautiful, so we shouldn't have much issues, huh?
No, I think you have an issue.
Ah, I'm just trying to build up your strength,
build up your faith, and remind you of truth.
It is true, take it all.
All right, so we're gonna get started
because tonight, I talk 12 p.m., can you believe it?
I filled in for Carla at 12 p.m.,
and so I'm really excited about the teaching on tonight.
And one of the reasons why I am excited
is because there are two top questions
that everybody in this program asks.
We ask some of the same questions,
but I believe the two top ones are this.
When is he coming?
If I thought Miss Bunning knew my date, I'd be asking her.
Everybody is like, but when, but when, when?
I hear you, but when?
And it's like, I did the hard work,
but I thought he was coming right after that.
I thought that Jackie said that when your heart is ready,
then nothing's gonna stop you, but when, but when?
So you know, you guys came into the program,
it was called Last Year Single,
but when I was in the program,
it was called Married in 12 Months or Less.
I'm still looking at the calendar, but when?
But it's Married in 12 Months or Less
of meeting your spirit mate,
that you will be prepared in a way
that once you got the ball rolling,
within a year, you should be married
because you're healthy, you have the capacity,
so on and so forth.
So one of the top questions is,
when is my Amazon package coming?
And then the second one is,
how do I hold on until the promise comes?
Will you agree that that will probably be
your next question?
That if I don't have you at the altar,
many times we say, okay, how do I make it through this?
After you've done, you got excited,
got on the abs, got shot down,
realized you was swimming with sharks,
had a couple of ouches and ouch
and heartbreaks and stings,
is how do I even hold on to make it
to the end of this thing?
I need to know.
And you get back on a Saturday live
and Jackie say, get up and do it again,
you jump up and do it again,
get back knocked down,
you jump up and do it again,
you declare some more things, this is it.
Then you can roll around, right?
So it's like, okay, what, how do I hold on?
And so for me, how do I hold on until the promise comes
is a real question.
And it's probably one of the only questions,
not only, but the answer to this question
brings the one thing that all of you ladies desire
and that most people desire, and it's certainty.
And so oftentimes we try to put certainty
in a lot of things.
We try to put certainty in what we feel
like we heard God speak, which is a certain thing.
We try to put certainty in the person that we're dating,
like, okay, I think this is gonna work,
let me settle on something.
Did they check all the boxes?
Okay, I can work with this.
We try to put certainty in a process that's unknown to us
or certainty in the declarations
until it seems like the things that we're declaring
are not coming to pass.
But one thing that we can for sure put certainty in
is perspective.
Perspective is your outlook on something.
And perspective has been the only thing for me,
one of the top things that I have found
to bring me certainty and peace.
And I believe that perspective
will do the same thing for you, okay?
And so tonight, that's what we're gonna talk about.
We're gonna talk about perspective, okay?
Perspective is your viewpoint.
Perspective answers these questions for you.
Who am I?
Where am I going?
And how am I gonna get there?
That's certainty.
Who you are, where you're going,
and how are you gonna get there?
So if I use an example, I am Amanda.
That's who I am.
I am a woman.
I am A, B, C, D, E, F, G.
I am doing this right now, there.
Where am I going?
I'm headed to the altar, okay?
And how am I gonna get there?
There, there we go. That's what everything gets a little blurry at. We thought we were
going to get there when the doorbell rang and the Amazon package hit the door, but you found
that it was a lot more work than that. Right? How am I going to get there? And when you can
carve out a plan as to how you're going to get somewhere, you have much more certainty,
which hints you have a perspective because you have a viewpoint. Are y'all tracking with me?
Yeah. If you're not saying no. All right. So let's get into this. So perspective tells me
who I am, where I am and where I'm going and how I'm going to get there.
Perspective also helps me to prosper. It helps me to live in a place of thriving instead of
surviving because you actually have a plan and you're working your plan. Okay. So it's just not
up in the air. It causes you to flourish and grow when you have perspective. You don't feel
defeated all the time. And even if you did feel some defeat, you bounce back up really quickly
because you have perspective. Okay. So now I want you guys to answer a couple of questions for me,
probably more than a couple. It's like six of them, but these six questions are going to be
your guide as we go along through the teachings today. Because like I said tonight, they're really
good. I think they're absolutely amazing. I had to say so myself. All right. So this is the first
question. You can type it in the chat, but you're only going to have a little while to answer it. So
don't answer what you would like to answer. Don't answer what sounds good. Answer for you.
The best place you could ever be in life is who you are and where you are, because who you are
and where you are qualifies you for speed and acceleration. But anytime you believe you're
somewhere that you're not, you've already lost speed because you got to come back to the reality
of where you really are and who you really are to even get started. Are you following me? That's
some perspective for you. Be who you are, where you are, when I ask you these questions. All right.
First question. What is the purpose or original intent of marriage? Not according to culture,
but according to the scripture. You don't even have to quote the scripture. What is the purpose
and original intent of marriage? To multiply. Come on. I like that multiplication. Covenant.
Let me scroll down. Two is better than one. Hey, that's what I like, friend. One could put a
thousand in flight, but two tens of thousands. We need our twos tens of thousands. Companionship,
not to be alone. Jesus Christ and his bride to create. Sanctification, not good to be alone.
All right. The two become one to reflect the fullness of God. Oh, this is such beautiful
answers. I love them, ladies. All right.
Answer this question. No, no. Okay. No, no. Okay. What am I expecting marriage to do for me?
I want to be married because fill in the blank. Or I want marriage because.
Unity and family. So beautiful.
Partner, companionship, and life in ministry. Oh, that's so beautiful, Keegan. Family, children,
someone to do life with, share intimate matters of the heart with. I like someone to talk about
my day with and to do things with. Oh, that's so cute. I like it. I want to have a special
intimate partnership and build a family. So beautiful. Lavet, you just joined us,
but the question is, we're doing a several questions to grow and have someone to do
with A to Z adventures. Come on. Team and friendship going in the same direction.
A daily companion, creative partner. The question is, what am I expecting from marriage? So you can
complete the blank. Marriage will do for me, or I want to be married because. My best friend and
comfort dime. Okay. All right. Now, of the things that you listed or that you believe,
what are some support, intimacy, and kids? And we're going to need a man for them kids.
You're right, baby. All right. Of the things I listed, what are some of the things that.
I am asking of a companion that only God can do for me
But the things that you've listed or the things that you actually believe what are some things?
So an example will be I'm lonely. I want a companion or I want somebody to be in my corner
I want somebody to and it's nothing wrong with companionship. There's a natural it's a byproduct of marriage
Right, so don't don't think like something is wrong with you wanting marriages for companions. It's a byproduct of companionship
Comfort me at hard times. Yeah, I need support spiritual covering best friend and a playmate. I like playmates
Support I really want my person
Help with loneliness comfort and support. I want to understand me and what I need good
And so these things that we're listing
What what are we asking of this marriage that only God can do when I had and why you guys are thinking and posting? I
Remember when it was not too long after I came out of came through divorce and all these things that I was walking down the road
And it's probably been about nine years ago now and the Lord said Ebony and I said, yes
He said I may have shared this with you. He said
He showed me this big black pot
It's a big black pot and I looked at a big kettle bowl and he said
your husband
Which would been past tense at the time would have to affirm you 24 hours a day for the rest of your life
And it still wouldn't be enough
and I said
Wow, and then so the image of the pot came back in front of me and I looked down in it and head up
It was bottomless. It had no bottom to it
He said the approval and affirmation you need came from when your father and mother dropped the ball and no man on this planet
Could give you what you need. He would tire himself out and it would never be enough only I can give it to you
will you let me and
I invited the Lord in to come and give me the approval and the affirmation that I need
And so now when I think about love language approval or affirmation is not one of them
It's nice if I get it
but there are places in us only God could feel and there are places in us that we want our
We were hoping that marriage will feel for us and it's not designed to do so
That's what I'm so just giving you example of what if you didn't understand what I'm saying, you're right
So you want them to do for you what only God can do for you?
Alright next question what season what season am I in right now?
What season are you in right now?
I'll push out your comfort zone to be seen heard and understood
Season of action. Come on. I like that, you know skepticism about dating apps dating
Okay
Let's carry learning to be playful again, it's so good so good
Season of discovery of myself and my needs so good
Revival of hope hallelujah. That is so good. So good
Right now feels like pruning come on realizing my authentic self and like so good Kelly it is so good
So
What happens is if I understand my season then I can identify what the Lord is the developing in me right now
You understand but if you are don't have clarity on your season then you don't know what the Lord wants to develop
and
So things that are pulling on you and tugging at you
You may not give a lot of attention to because you don't understand your season
the Bible says that the sons of Issachar knew the times and seasons and they knew what to do and
So in your life, we're always gonna be in seasons
The Bible says as long as the earth remains they're gonna be seed time and harvest summer winter all of your seasons
There's a season
Ecclesiastes says there's a time for everything under the Sun
There's a season for it a time to be born in a time to die
Right a time to plan in time to pluck up that which will plant a time for war and a time of peace
It tells us all these things and so in our life
And I'm just giving feedback as we go through giving a little bit as we go through the questions
You're always in some season, but if you cannot
Appropriately or accurately identify your season then you don't know what the Lord is
Developing in you in that season because inside of a season something is happening
You can't be in a season and you're not being developed within that season
You
Can do it but this don't they don't multiply nor is it beneficial
okay so if I'm in a season I must remember this is perspective something
is being developed if my season is dating something is being developed if
my season is marriage something is being developed because that's the only way
I'm gonna get to the fullness of it if something is being developed so why I'm
gonna hang out here for a moment because if we if we if we if we can't recognize
the season we will reject the development
we will refuse development even if we think we're in a season and we don't
understand that in with the season there's development that has to happen
okay good all right so what qualities of a helper am I actively growing what
qualities of a helper you've been a helper are you actively growing so let
me let me give a little context for that because we haven't talked about it and
it's understanding the purpose of marriage so if I had to give a few
comments and we'll get there what is the purpose of marriage well have y'all
started answering that question yet no you waiting on me to give them let's
just say the question we can do we do that okay if you have some you can put
it on there because all right now where has comparison affected my trust in
God's plan so we know that comparison hugely affects perspective but where has
comparison you comparing something to someone else or what you see somebody
else can bear this happen for somebody else where has it affected your trust in
God's plan like God you're doing it for them you're not doing it for me I've
done everything I should do why hasn't it happened yet because what comparison
will do or lack of perspective does it causes us to judge God inaccurately it
causes you to make judgments against him that are not true so you'll find
yourself saying I've been waiting 25 years ain't nothing happened yet why not
it will cause pride to swell up on the inside of you because you don't know
what you're talking about because you don't know how to understand or
recognize times and seasons are you with me when you're not when you start
comparing when you start getting some ideal in your mind about what God should
do and what he did for somebody else and why he hasn't done it for you you will
begin to judge inaccurately right so it hasn't changed my trust good anybody
else have you compared yourself in a change your trust or change your belief
or made you feel like God isn't seeing you he doesn't hear you he's not coming
for you he hasn't making it happen for you timing seeing others get married
around me I wonder if something is wrong with me or why I'm not being picked come
on Kelly this is the truth there were times when I literally will stop coming
on the community page because at that time like we are broken up in phases now
but every time somebody got engaged every time I got married and first it
was fun when I first got in the community but look at the year and I'm
like I don't see this stuff I don't see nothing about nobody and then they would
make their post just hold on because God is gonna do it or like I told you guys
before when I invited my friend to the program and she actually got married
six months out of the program and I told God what I'm even you know I was
really self-righteous I'm even more righteous than her like I said all kind
of it was really pleased I'm like how could you do something like this who
does this what is this what's going on here I need some explanation okay it
does seem like I've been single for very way too long I know oh all right good
now we answer that question so you're holding on to these things all right if
marriage come on talk about that cloud praying you have such a serious look on
your face too I don't even know you typing something in oh all right if
marriage happened tomorrow what areas of my life will still need growth and
maturity
you if it happened tomorrow what areas of your life still need growth and
maturity
you
mm-hmm communicating your needs that's good I love it that's a really good
comment you made as well
I like that.
Releasing control, that's so good.
That is a challenging thing to do,
to not go to shame immediately when I'm on the edge
or feeling annoyed, so good.
Paying up dead and knowing how to allow him to be who he is,
so good.
This is so good.
Learning to trust someone else,
their ability to make decisions for good of both of us,
not being so independent, receiving help to confidence
and being vulnerable, so good.
I think every area we can always get better
but being more vulnerable if he wants to hear it.
That's so good.
Being able to express my needs, control and trust,
learning to serve, learning to trust
and knowing I have a voice, so good.
That's so good.
Ladies, all of these are so good.
These are really good and they are very major players.
And if any of you, some of you have been married before,
these are key players in marriages.
These are the things that pretty much
will lay a marriage down to the ground.
These are not light things that you're posting.
These are very heavy hitters in marriages
and they destroy marriages.
They destroy intimacy.
They destroy communication and fellowship.
And they will cause your time, sharing time,
how you spend, they will cause your time with your spouse
to be miserable and you be turning around
and asking the Lord, what is this?
You could be like, Adam, this the woman you gave me, Lord.
You be saying, this is man.
Because sometimes we believe that we didn't make the choice,
that God made the choice.
These are all very, very good.
So this is what we're gonna talk about.
Remember perspective.
We're gonna use all the questions
so it's good to get out in the open
some of the thoughts that you were thinking.
So here we go.
The first thing we wanna understand
is the purpose of marriage.
Now, this is what the Bible says.
And we may have talked about this before,
but the Bible says that God saw that Adam
did not have one comparable to him.
So he made him a helper.
Now, if we talked about this already,
you know that the word helper translated in Hebrew
means Ezra.
He made him an Ezra.
Okay.
He didn't make him a woman that says,
I need you to be this and this and this and this and this.
And you have to make this much money
and you have to be this and you're gonna have to be that.
And you're gonna be,
that's not what the scripture said.
The scripture said he made him an Ezra.
What is an Ezra?
Friend, I'm not talking about you, I just found it.
An Ezra is, I know, when you looked at me.
Hear me, hear me.
Don't think, hear me.
An Ezra is a life giving source.
That's what an Ezra is.
Ezra is seen throughout the scripture
in representation of when it talks about the Holy Spirit.
That's the type of helper we're talking about.
An Ezra is a life giving source.
An Ezra is a warrior woman.
God says that he made this for Adam.
You, my dear, are an Ezra.
That's how he designed us.
We come with a womb, with the ability to multiply
anything that's given to us, okay?
And so you are a life giving source to your husband
and you are a warrior.
So that means that you've come to serve your husband
because he is the head.
And you're like, wait a minute now,
he has to do something for me too.
Well, that's the beauty of who God is
because as you serve one, the other serves the other.
You don't have to ever worry
about a space being made for you.
Paul says two things, women are to respect their husbands.
They only have one thing to do, respect their husband
and the men must love their wives.
And so everybody has a responsibility,
but let's go back to Genesis.
Let's go back to who you are.
So God didn't just, a companion is a by-product
of being married, companionship.
That's why you choose Will
so you can have good companionship
because you can be married and not have good companionship
and you could have actually married for companionship, okay?
But that's not why you marry.
You don't marry for companionship.
It's a by-product of marriage.
That's what you get when you marry, you get a companion.
Trust me, they ain't going nowhere.
So we just hope you get along, okay?
So you're an Ezra.
Ezra is a social strength of support,
encouragement and partnership.
That's what Ezra is.
So that means if you understand
that you're not just marrying for companionship,
you're not just marrying
because you don't wanna be alone, right?
Let's just throw that out the window.
You don't wanna be alone.
It's actually a place that God fits,
not that your husband fits
because you can marry him, he could die next year.
If you have
a husband in a place that he could die the next day and you lack it that means you put him in the
wrong place okay hear me if you said that a requirement is that when i marry my husband
he has to be a hiker he has to want to do bike rides he has to be because i am passionate about
fitness and when you marry him and he could start out passionate about fitness and six
months have an accident and he can't do it anymore that may seem like an extreme thing
but that's a real thing that means he isn't feeling that space then who's gonna do it
you're gonna go get a friend to ride a bike with you're gonna go find you someone to feel these
faces are y'all checking with me and so sometimes we can figure out if we put a husband in the wrong
place if we're trying to get him to feel some place that he wasn't designed to feel
it's not good for man to be alone he needs an azar this man needs a woman that give him life
she is a life-giving source he needs a woman that comes with a sword and defends her husband
defends her family lineage defends her children and uphold their identity
see can't know any old divisive spirit come up against an azar because she understands her role
in position and so she wars she gives life she doesn't just give life in the form of a baby but
she gives life in the words that she speaks and so that's why when we understand the perspective
of what a wife is we know that we become a casualty when we need somebody to give us
affirmation to build us up so that we can be and we've given that position to a husband
when it needs to be dealt with in this season and in this time and be developing us so that
when we come to the table we carry it we're broken in community we're healed in community
we're broken in relationship we're healed in relationship but a person cannot do foundational
things for you and you actually believe you think you're worthless all of a sudden you're
gonna believe it because a man speaks it to you that's that's that's that's that's far-fetched
from the truth if you believe you're ugly ain't nobody in the world could tell you you pretty and
you're gonna believe it it truly comes from within and so if you understand what a what a wife is
you won't minimize this position to some of the things that only God can feel but you will allow
God to maximize you in what you are designed to do perspective tells you that the time and season
that you're in right now is in a program that is training you for maximization of as an Ezra so
every time you get an opportunity to forgive you're gonna practice it because you understand
that Ezra needs forgiveness if you understand that Ezra is likened to the holy spirit you
understand that you have to learn how to operate in boundaries and you're not gonna boss your way
around and tell a man what he needs to do and when he needs to do it because the holy spirit doesn't
do that the holy spirit gives gentle nudges and when you reject the holy spirit it goes away quietly
it don't say i told you so when you fall flat on your face it don't say i tried to tell you but
you didn't want to listen go on do it yourself figure it out yourself that's not what holy
spirit does and Ezra is likened unto the holy spirit and so there is an empowerment that comes
with knowing that you're not just what you thought why but you're an Ezra a life giving source
and so then you maximize the season that you're in by learning to set boundaries and adhering to them
you learn what to do in this season you maximize your time in this season by learning how to manage
your nervous system by learning how to manage your anxiousness because they're going to be
plenty of times in the next 20 30 40 years 50 years you're married to to get riled up
you learn how to come face to face with all of your avoided tendencies and say i'm gonna deal
with you right now because you can't go into the promised land when you realize that you're an
Ezra you get your five smooth stones in your slingshot and you get ready to slay some giants
in your life you stop sitting on the sideline as a victim and say i'm gonna maximize this season
of my life right now because i know who i am and that is called perspective i know who i am i know
where i'm going and i know what i need to get there and nothing's gonna stop me from it and
all of a sudden you are now in control you are actually partnering with heaven and you no longer
you no longer begin to accuse god of not doing what you thought he should have did when he should
have done it but you realize that you're in the right place at the right time to do what you need
to do to equip Ezra. Are y'all with me? Is this good?
I sure hope so.
It was good to me.
All right.
So I understand that I'm an Ezra
and because I understand that I'm an Ezra,
I understand the purpose of marriage
and understanding the purpose of marriage,
I maximize my seasons.
Because one of the things that we said
that we need to learn how to do,
understand how to do in any faith journey
is to know that the times and seasons that you're in
and know what to do in that season.
So you've come out of the hard work.
That's what you were doing in that phase.
Now you're in phase two and we use dating
to help develop and skill us and train us.
We don't use dating to find a husband.
You need to be willing as an Ezra
to part ways with that idea.
The reason why I want you to be willing
to part ways with that idea
is because you're wasting time
when you can be getting equipped
through dating for discovery.
Because the program is designed
for you to be dating for discovery.
Discovery of what?
Of your triggers.
Discovery of your entitlement.
Discovery of your ability not to refuse
to show grace and forgiveness and mercy
because you're trying to protect yourself.
Yeah?
So when you get to this phase,
it's like you're dating to be triggered
so you can learn the triggers and deal with the triggers.
Like we want you to get upset.
We want you to be offended.
And when you see it, you be like oh, I see you.
I've been trained to deal with you.
I was trained to deal with you in the heart work.
I'm about to put you in the grave.
Oh, I see you anxiousness wanna come in
because you want certainty,
but I'm not gonna give you certainty.
I'm gonna stay in curiosity.
I know it feels good to talk to this man,
but I'm here to learn and grow.
This is not my last stop.
I'm not gonna fall into a scarcity mindset
because I have perspective.
I perspective I'm an Ezra
and I know what season I'm in
and this is time for equipping and training.
Okay, good.
So in this season, because now you know what it is
because you have perspective,
you are going to develop those characteristics
that sustain marriage.
So we know that there are things
if we were married tomorrow,
we will be battling with them.
So I'm gonna say,
I'm gonna learn the things that help me sustain marriage.
Jackie designed this program
with the tools to help you sustain marriage.
Okay, so what helps me sustain marriage?
Grace, a lot of it.
That means, and these are just a few things.
If grace helped me sustain marriage,
you need to start pouring it out, baby, like honey.
Pour it out to the people in the traffic,
pour it out to the people in the store.
Cause what you thinking, are you an Ezra?
And I know that an Ezra needs grace
because she's come to be like the Holy Spirit.
That means she's come to be help.
And a lot of times she's gonna be rejected
even though her wisdom is right
and she knows the way to go,
but that person that she partnered with
ain't ready to hear it yet.
So she's gonna have to give him some grace.
Even when he falls flat on his face,
she's gonna give more grace.
All right, she knows that she's gonna get some training
on the job and she's gonna need grace.
She's gonna need grace for when she explodes on him.
She's gonna need grace for when she triggers.
She's not coming to be perfect,
she's coming to operate in grace.
And the grace flows over her, through her,
to the person around her and back to her.
Ezra knows that she needs grace.
And because Ezra needs grace, she gives grace.
So now she practices grace.
And so against her fear of rejection,
against her fear of all falling apart,
she's going to give grace.
Okay, is this good?
Are we all together?
And so I'm giving out grace.
I'm gonna give out grace.
Even if Ebenezer say something
that could be a little fissile,
I'm gonna give her some grace
and ask her what the problem is.
We're gonna give out some grace.
We're gonna give out grace to our mothers
and our fathers, to our sisters
and our brothers, to our cousins.
Like this is just not about a man.
Once you start giving grace,
I don't know if any of you guys actively practice this,
but grace starts coming back to you.
I am, this is a very simple example.
I am a very complimentary person.
Some years ago, I began to understand that women,
even when given a compliment,
they don't receive it well.
They usually say, oh, this old shirt.
Oh, oh, you look cute too.
Something, anything, they usually will deflect
and they don't usually receive compliments well.
So I made it my business
that every person I looked at,
not just a woman, but it started with women,
but women and men,
that I will look for something in them that's good.
I would look for the gold in them.
So I would call myself a gold digger.
And so I don't care if I'm in the line,
checkout line or wherever I am.
Well, because I started doing it
and this has been going on for years,
people give me compliments all the time.
Sometimes I be looking ratchet.
they find something to say to me.
That's just how that thing works, right?
That's the same way grace works.
The more grace we give, the more grace comes back to us.
Forgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that you completely heal
from the wound, but what it means,
I release you from my judgment of you.
I know that you can't heal me,
but God is gonna do that part, right?
So I practice forgiveness.
Practice patience.
My God.
You know, Jackie teaches that marriage
is God's maturity plan.
Oh my Lord.
You need a lot of mercy and a lot of patience.
My, my, my.
Boundaries.
This is the time to practice boundaries.
This is how Ezra develops the qualities
that sustain marriage.
And you get to do it without worrying
about being married right now.
Because it's hard to do it when the pressure is on you.
Okay?
And then humility.
Oh my.
Humility.
Humility is something, the Bible says
that we must humble our hand,
humble ourselves under the hand of God.
The Bible says that God resists the proud
and he gives grace to the humble.
So all of us, I repent for pride on a daily basis.
We're humans.
At some point we think we know so much
or we think this and we think that,
we just believe this and we believe that
and oh, we offended and we have it right
and we have this, all that's pride.
Right?
All that's pride.
And so it's just a matter of a great exchange
with the Lord and operating in humility,
humbling ourselves under his hand,
declaring that God, you know better than me.
I'm angry, this bothers me,
but I trust that you know better than me.
That's humility.
It's hard for me to let this go,
but I'm gonna give it to you.
That's humility.
I could hold this against them,
but I'm gonna release them.
That's humility.
Okay?
And then,
ask yourself this question.
What am I bringing to the marriage
besides the desire to not be alone?
What am I bringing to the marriage
besides the make babies or have a family?
What are you bringing to the marriage, Izar?
List to me your skillset
that you're bringing to this marriage
besides what this marriage can do for you,
how it can fulfill you.
I want you guys to list,
what are you bringing to this marriage?
Put all your qualities on there.
Don't feel like you're gonna outshine one of us.
Lay it out there.
Daisy, hold on to that question you just asked.
I wanna respond to that, okay?
You said, are you saying we're learning to just,
hold on to that question.
Okay, thank you.
Friendship, wisdom, creativity,
making a calm, welcoming home.
Industrialism.
That's what that privateer31 woman does, huh?
Yes.
I have a lot of grace.
That's so good, Cherish.
Come on, put them in there.
Line it up.
Lay out your resume.
If the man was in front of you right now,
you're gonna say, baby, this why you want me.
I'm finna show you right now why you want me.
Patience.
Patience, you're a good listener.
Creativity, compassion, and kindness, a sense of humor.
Oh, that's so nice.
That's good.
Come on.
Patience, commitment.
You've got a lot of patient people.
This is good.
Commitment, friendship, fun, desire to grow and learn.
Ability to listen.
Cooperation as a partner.
Optimism and faith.
Come on.
I like this.
My words, they are really life-giving.
Yes, Esther.
Come on, get one of them college men.
My humor, genuine care, visionary thinking,
and systems thinking.
Come on.
What Esther is saying,
you give it to me, see when I multiply.
Give me your idea.
Give me your vision.
I'll make it happen.
I have you a blueprint by the time you wake up
in the morning.
I know how we're going to get there,
what it's going to cost us to get there,
and what the end going to be.
Just give it to me.
I know, I told you, I get it.
I see you, girl.
I love to cook.
I'm a great cook, says LaVette.
A good host, loving, giving, kind, caretaker,
welcoming home, party planner, and host.
fun, adventures, a great friend, God-fearing, faithful,
and trustworthy.
Come on.
Understanding, support emotionally, spiritually,
grace, forgiveness, spiritual mate, respect, love,
listening, commitment, loyalty, optimism, vision sharing,
and partnership.
Let's go, Miss Bunny.
Come on.
I'm waiting on yours, friend.
Are you typing?
I know it's so long, right?
I love me some friend, honey.
No matter what I say, she be like, but what?
But didn't it?
Sense of humor, creativity, a good listener,
love being on time, and encouraging.
Come on.
Them men ain't going to like that love being on time, Jessica.
You stick with it.
We'll show up out of nowhere and scare you not on time.
That's funny.
Oh, trustworthy, friend, a good listener,
encouraging, kind-hearted, sense of humor, and supportive.
And ladies, this is so good that you're putting these things
out, because a lot of times when we're in coaching
and we're talking, you believe I got so much to do.
Oh, I got so much growth to happen.
Oh, I messed this up.
But you don't take time to see what you do carry as an Ezra.
There are things that you carry that
are besides what you want someone to do for you.
Most of the times, what we want a man to be for us
is that we're looking for somehow to feel safe.
And if they do this, I'll feel safe.
You don't know you process that way,
but you're processing that way, when
God wants to be your safety.
This is so good.
OK.
All right.
Is that everybody?
If you come up with something later, supportive, encouraging,
just add it in there.
I like this.
Come on, come on.
So let's talk about this.
So a couple of other things that happens
when we're getting in perspective,
the first thing we do is have to, OK, I see you there.
Creative, fun, empathetic, good listener, supportive.
Good.
There are things we reflected on some questions,
but I listed five things that help you gain perspective.
The first was understanding your position in marriage.
Understanding why God designed marriage.
So that you would stop, number one,
looking for a man to feel loneliness in your life.
That's a big deal.
You can go find friends.
You can find companionship.
This is something that we talk about a lot.
They'll mean that you don't want your husband.
I'm not taking away your desire for companionship
with your husband, but I'm just telling you
some of these things that you're relegating to marriage
may not happen.
Like, I want somebody to read my Bible with and pray with.
What if he don't want to read what you read?
What if he don't want to pray with you?
But you've had this expectation that when
you get married, your husband's supposed to pray with you
and read your Bible.
That's not true, y'all.
This man got his own mind.
What if he don't even read his Bible?
What you going to do then?
You going to get mad?
You going to try to force him to read your Bible?
All right.
So then the next thing is, so one
is understanding marriage and the purpose of it.
This gives you perspective because it
changes what you spend your time thinking about.
The second one is, let God feel what marriage was never
designed or meant to feel in your life.
We have to be willing to let God feel those areas.
And we kind of touched on that.
So what you want to do in this place
is ask God to reveal to you any place where
you're expecting marriage to feel what only he can.
Ask God where you're looking for marriage to complete you.
And it's not possible.
And I post this in the activation,
but this is the thing you want to do.
You want to answer this question that I post,
and you want to ask the Lord.
Because I believe that it is very possible for all of us
to have something on the inside of us,
that we believe that marriage is the end all be all.
And why haven't you just done it yet?
We believe so strongly in this.
Sometimes we don't even ask the Lord,
if I'm not at the altar right now,
then what are you doing in this season?
If I'm not married, then where are you?
I better go to where you are.
Because if I indeed believe this is my season of marriage,
and I must understand that preparation must happen,
equipping must happen in this season,
because I'm in a season of marriage.
So you can't say I'm in a season of marriage
and say, where is my husband?
And you can say it, but what I'm saying
is you can't die on that hill.
Something has to click in you that if you're not
looking at him, ask the Lord, what is he doing?
So that you will understand your times and season.
I am telling you, it's very disappointing.
I'm telling you for somebody
who's been on this journey for a while,
very disappointing to keep expecting something
that's not going to happen.
It's not coming.
The Bible says that hope deferred makes the heart sick,
literally sick, but promises fulfilled as a tree of life.
Don't die on the heel of judging God incorrectly
because you have failed to understand the times and seasons.
You guys, nobody, I don't agree when we believe
that we've been waiting on the Lord
to bring us a spouse for 20 years.
Then that tells me I don't know my times and seasons.
You have failed to recognize your time or your season.
And when you should have been doing something
in one season, you were expecting him to do something else.
And then when you get to the next season,
you're still out of season
because you keep expecting something.
You believe, I'm just gonna hold on to the promise.
I'm just gonna hold on to the promise.
But when you prayed about it,
from the first time you prayed it, it was a done deal.
He's not withholding something from you.
But if I keep trying to make happen in one season
and he's trying to develop in this season,
then I'm missing the seasons.
I'm missing my timing and I'm becoming frustrated and hurt.
And I'm feeling abandoned and overlooked
and not seen and not heard.
I don't believe that God bypasses ready as ours.
I don't believe it.
I don't believe that if you are ready as are,
the Lord has said, my daughter is ready,
that he's gonna look over you in the earth.
That just doesn't sound like a good father to me
and bypass you and you're ready.
Bypass your husband and he's ready.
The Bible says, Jesus gave a parable.
He said, if any man asks for bread,
would you give him a stone?
And any one of you, if your son asks you for a fish,
would you give him a snake?
Now you being evil men know how to give good gifts
to your children.
I want more of my heavenly father.
That's what he said.
And so I believe that our father knows how to give
good gifts to his children.
I believe marriage is a good gift.
I believe that when a man finds an as are,
he finds favor from the Lord.
The Bible says, he who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.
Now he who finds a woman who was waiting for somebody
to be her best friend.
Now he who finds a woman who waits for somebody
to be her companion.
Now he who finds a woman who was waiting for a man
just to make babies.
Now he who found a woman who was just waiting for a man
to come complete her ideal of a family.
No, he who finds a wife, he who finds an as are,
a life giving source.
He who finds a warrior woman.
He finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
There are things in a man that only a wife can unlock
because she was designed that way.
She's a multiplier.
That's who she is.
She is a life giving source.
From this woman flows life in all capacities.
Who do you know can push out a baby
and to be in between life and death,
give birth and in two hours later,
take that baby, pop on the breast and feed her baby?
Only a life giving source can do something like that.
Have you ever watched?
I've watched my sister and I've never given birth,
I've watched my sister give birth.
She had home births.
I've almost passed out at her groaning and grunting.
I did pass out, getting this baby out
after 12, 15, 20 hours of labor.
And then when her baby comes,
the joy that floods her face in two hours later,
she pops him on her breast and feeds her baby.
What a life giving source this woman is.
That's why he who finds a wife,
finds a good thing and obtains favor of the Lord.
You've got to be a favorite man to get yourself an Azar.
You've got to be a favorite man to get yourself a friend.
You've got to be a favorite man to get yourself a Nadine.
You've got to be a favorite man to get yourself a Karen.
Come on now!
You got to be a favorite man to get yourself a Daisy
and a Kelly and a Esther and a Nikki
and a Theta and a Kim.
You got to be favorite to get a loved better,
and I don't want say the wrong,
and a Cherish.
I got to say everybody's name
because I started saying it now.
And a Cindy and a Bunny and a Chantelle and a Kelly.
Then I get everybody and an Ebony baby.
Ask me my resume.
I tell that man, baby, I can pray us through any storm.
You just pick me and watch what's going to happen.
I speak to the mountains and they move.
And an Ari, you got to be a favorite man to get an Azar.
And so that's why perspective changes everything.
You find out that a well-equipped Azar can't be overlooked
because the Lord is looking for some Amandas in the land.
He's looking for Azars so that his kingdom will be.
come and that his will will be done on earth as it is in heaven because he's a God of strategy
and assignment. And the same strategic God is the God who's orchestrating your life right now
because he is fulfilling a kingdom revival of marriages. All right, good. Okay, I hung out
there long enough. All right, where are we? Y'all don't know, but I do. So we kind of talked about
maximizing your current season, right? And so when you identify what season you're in,
maximize it. Don't let the trail just fall by the wayside. Don't miss an opportunity to be bold and
tell a guy with your own voice or over the phone that, hey, this is not going to work out. I know
you're afraid to do it, but do it. When you get through, you're going to feel like Superwoman.
I'm telling you, Wonder Woman. Ever since I seen Wonder Woman and moving, they were coming down
that hill on them horses with them arrows. I said, I got to be that kind of woman, right? That's
what it is I look like, I bet. Y'all remember Wonder Woman on their island? I don't know if
you've seen it before, but they were riding those horses and they was some bad women. Ever since
then, that's what I want to be. But seriously, these little things build something in you when
you're able to advocate for yourself. And when someone speaks to you a certain way and you say
with grace, hey, I noticed that you said this. Let's not use that language again. That's it.
When you resist the need to overexplain and when you resist the need to shut down and draw back,
like all of these things are coming, they're really small, but when you maximize in a season,
you take the opportunity because it's low stakes at this point. But if you shut down
and stonewall in your marriage, you're going to pay the cost for it. If you develop a culture in
your marriage like that very early on, you can't control your mouth. You're just going to say how
you feel. You're just frustrated. It's just the truth. I'm just going to let it out. It's going
to cost you because in the midst of all of that, when you come back and say sorry, it's not going
to change the scar you just put on the soul of the person that you're talking to. The same way the
scars got on your soul is the same way you're going to put them on somebody else's soul. And
if you don't learn to manage your nervous system, if you don't learn to manage your mouth,
and if you don't learn how to set boundaries so that when someone crosses your boundaries,
even your husband, you're going to say, whoa, let's talk about this later. We're not going to
use that language. You build those muscles now and you don't have to do it out of anger.
And will you be perfect? No, we're not asking for perfect people. We're asking you to maximize
the season that you're in because this season will soon pass. It don't stay forever, believe it or
not. Maximize our current season. I'm moving along. All right. I want you ladies to ask the
Lord God, ask the Lord this, what do you want to perfect in me before the appointed time?
Write that down. What do you want to perfect in me before the appointed time? I want you to ask
the Holy Spirit about this tonight. What do you want to perfect in me before the appointed time?
That's a good question.
I hope we got it all written down. If we don't, I'll repeat it. And then I want to say this word
of encouragement to you. This is not the end of it. We got two more. Recognize that preparation
is not punishment. Preparation is not punishment. It is simply part of the promise.
If you've ever been to school, you're going to get a degree when you get to the end,
if you do all the requirements and you take all the classes.
Is that right? There's nothing that you do in life that does not come with a process.
Everything comes with a process and the process is not just time.
It requires development. Okay. All right. So we said that some of the things that give us
perspective and perspectives gives us what we need to hold on to the promises made manifest
is understanding the purpose of marriage and who we are. If we understand who we are,
we need to understand where we're going and how we're going to get there. If you have that,
I promise you, you'll have strength to finish this journey. Okay. Because you're tracking with
the Lord. You're in partnership with the Lord. All right. Then you want to let God feel every
place in you that you believe marriage should have filled. Let God feel the places that he's
supposed to feel or places that you've misidentified and put it on marriage and maximize your current
season. Don't let any part of your development go to the waste because you understand who you are,
where you're going.
How are you going to get there?
And you understand that your time is limited.
And it is true.
It is limited.
You don't have forever to get equipped.
But if you fail to get equipped, you'll
find yourself going around the same mountain
for a very long time.
And if any of you guys live life long enough,
you know what it's like to circle the same mountain
for a very long time.
And God is not usually moved by our tears of pity.
Especially because he knows our heart.
There's a difference when he knows and he doesn't know.
He knows it's happening, right?
All right, so trust God's process over comparison.
That's another thing that helps with perspective.
When you see things happen all around you, usually I say,
and I have a lot of different points
that I want to move along because I
want to take questions tonight.
But believe that God is good even
when it doesn't look like it.
So there are some things you have to be convinced of.
The Bible says that those who come to God,
they must first come believing that he is God.
And then that he is a rewarder of those
who diligently seek him.
If this is a principle, which is a scripture and is true,
if this is a principle that you live by,
you have to know that the work that you put in
will be rewarded.
Because when you came to God, you believe that he is God.
That he keeps his word.
He does what he says he's going to do.
And that if I allow the equipping,
if I allow the SRME to be equipped,
then he will reward me because I diligently seek him.
I continue.
I continue in the process.
Remember that God sees your whole story
from the end to the beginning.
He's the alpha and the omega all at the same time.
So no piece of it is missing for him.
And comparison just steals your joy.
And it's easy to do, especially with social media.
And hold on to this truth,
which is one of my favorite truths.
I don't like it that much, but I like it.
God makes all things beautiful in his time.
That's the word.
He makes all things beautiful.
He who began on good work in me is faithful to complete it.
The Bible says in a little book,
after you've suffered a little while,
that the Lord of all grace will come to establish you,
strengthen you, and settle you.
That's the word, right?
And so then the last thing is become the person
who can steward the promise.
That's a good one, ladies.
Become the person who can steward the promise.
How you guys think you've been doing
on stewarding the promise of marriage?
You're doing pretty good.
Think you've been hanging in there.
Some of us just got started.
Hopefully they've been doing really good.
If you believe in doing good, please, by all means say yes.
I believe I've been tracking pretty good.
If you believe that I need a couple of perspective shifts,
then you need a couple of perspective shifts.
And so we wanna become the person
that can steward the promise well.
So marriage is destiny-shaping decision,
not just a relationship status.
This is a really big deal.
Marriage is a destiny-shaping decision.
So take it.
You say, I wanna be married because I want a companion.
I want somebody to hang out with.
I want somebody to do this with.
I wanna have a family.
I don't wanna be alone on the holidays.
I'm tired of being alone on the holidays.
I'm tired of not bringing somebody with me
with the family gatherings.
You know, we can on and off,
but those are some of mine that I put in there, right?
So that means that if this is what I see marriage is,
and then God says that marriage
is a destiny-shaping decision,
the two most important decisions you're gonna make
in your life is accepting Jesus and who you marry.
Who you marry can bury your destiny, and God knows it.
It is the truth.
Who you marry can, unless you divorce them and walk away,
and they're still gonna take from you.
It's still gonna hurt you.
Nobody marries to divorce.
Marriage is a destiny-shaping decision.
And so when your father speaks to you in love and says,
I need to equip you in this area,
I need to grow you in this area,
he knows what you do not know.
He sees what you do not see.
And if you're not equipped in this area,
and if your sole purpose is to marry for companionship,
if your sole purpose is marriage
so that you can have somebody to be with,
then you will accept less than heaven's best for your life,
no matter how many rules you put down on the paper.
Because you don't have perspective,
you don't have understanding.
And so what look good to you will do.
But you can't see five years, 10 years,
and you don't know the fullness of your destiny.
So you don't know that you just married somebody
that look good on paper, but they can't sharpen you.
You don't know when you marry them
that they not gonna let you be a Ezra
and call out the destiny in their life.
You don't know they're gonna become stuck in bitter
because they won't operate in the destiny of their life.
You don't know these things.
You don't know that they won't be able to pull out
the destiny in you, make way for you
so that you can grow and expand.
You don't know they're gonna get jealous
when you figure out who God has called you to be
and you try to move in it.
You don't know that they gonna say,
no, we got babies, you need to stay at home.
You ain't going nowhere and teach.
You ain't going nowhere and do that.
We not having no house gatherings here.
You don't know that.
Do you understand?
Are you tracking with me?
Like there are a lot of ways that these things go.
Marriage is a destiny shaping decision.
And the father knows this and he doesn't lose track of it.
So if God called you to be a woman of influence,
there's gonna have to be a man suitable
for a woman of influence.
Hey, if you're a world changer,
there's gonna have to be a woman for that.
This man that you have children with,
if he doesn't know how to be a good father,
you are destiny shaping woman, you this woman,
but he comes in and he's harsh to the children
because he had a harsh father.
There's so many components that you don't give
add or count to.
You just count for what his resume looks like
in front of you and what he says and what you believe in.
There's some things you have to measure
based on the things you've been trained in.
I'm not saying that, but it's so destiny shaping
and shifting that is your lineage
in hanging in the balance.
It's your bloodline.
Okay, are we tracking with me?
Is this good?
Good to me.
I hope it's good to y'all.
And then examine areas of growth
that may affect the type of person you want to attract.
Examine the areas in you that need to grow
that may affect the type of people you attract.
Usually when there's a deficit in you,
where there's scarcity in you,
where you have this longing to be desired
and need to be needed and fulfilled,
usually love bummers work really well for you
because they say everything you've always wanted to hear.
I don't, love bummer, I like, I mean,
somebody love bummers, you'll feel good.
That's why people get love bummed.
It's no shame to you.
You didn't do it.
But the truth is they're filling spaces
that were left void because God wasn't filling them.
I've been loved before, love bummed before,
and I love every moment of it.
Like, oh, I'm so happy.
I like the text and the call and the attention.
I liked it all.
There's nothing wrong with you liking texts
and calls and attention.
But what happens is when there's a void there
and you've not allowed God to fill those spaces
in your heart, that person will come and fill the spaces.
So it don't be just what they're saying.
They're filling a space that you need to be filled.
You want to be filled, okay?
So become a person.
Focus on becoming, prepare for marriage,
not just obtaining marriage.
Allow God to mature your character, your emotional health,
and my God, that nervous system.
Come on, we got to work on that nervous system.
Okay, did y'all like it?
Yeah?
Okay, what was the question that you posted?
Whoever you are, I'm sorry,
I'm not thinking straight right now.
I asked you to save that question.
Daisy, ask that question to me.
And then we'll answer Fran's question too,
cause that's a really good question.
Go for it, Daisy.
Hey, Ebony.
Hey.
I was trying to remember the question exactly, but.
I can tell you the question.
The question was.
Something about like.
Are you saying we're learning to just let him be
and stay quiet more?
What do you mean by that?
Well, I'm trying to always,
I'm always trying to figure out like
what I could do differently than when I was married before.
Like I don't want to make the same mistakes.
And it wasn't like I was always being critical,
but I would ask, like I'd want to plan together
and just, you know, see what he had in mind
as far as the future and things like that.
And he never really wanted to make plans together.
You know, I just felt like it was like his life and my life
and we weren't doing any building together.
Yeah.
So I don't know if me bringing those things up
or just asking, you know, like,
are we not, is it not good to do that?
Is it good to just kind of let them be who they are?
But I guess maybe it goes back to dating,
but in dating, he was totally different.
You know, he did show.
I feel like he had these goals and things like that,
but I just don't wanna make the same mistakes.
Yeah, so I hear you, what you're saying.
Now, you probably could track back dating
to his behavior that he showed you,
if you actually evaluated it.
Either he started stuff and didn't finish it,
he wasn't very accomplished,
he had big goals and big dreams
and didn't have much follow through,
maybe he lacked some structure in some places.
There are a lot of places you could find
that man the way he showed up in marriage.
There wasn't not one, I don't believe
you won't be able to find something that points to that.
Yeah. Okay.
So, and so what we're saying is,
so when you measure things out this way,
then Daisy, this go around,
you're saying, I want a man who's marriage-minded.
Marriage-minded, when a person gets married
and they're marriage-minded,
they know that the two are becoming one.
And then you're gonna look to see,
how does this person partner?
Do they do partnership well?
Have they learned partnership?
How strong are their partnership muscles?
You don't have to be married for that,
you don't have if we were married questions,
that doesn't get you there.
You can look at, go play golf together,
go play a game together,
listen to how they partner with people on their job,
listen to their scenarios,
ask the Lord to highlight to you
their partnership abilities and skills.
So what you wanna do is focus more on the character trait
that produces versus the situation.
Right?
Does that make sense?
Yeah, it makes sense.
Yeah, I can remember that I told him
I was pretty upfront with when we started dating
and I said, look, I'm older, like we're both older.
We were in our mid thirties.
I said, I'm not looking to date long-term,
I've already done that.
And I feel like you should be able to know
whether you want to marry this person within a year.
And we were okay about that.
Like he seemed fine to,
he said he usually takes longer, like he needs more time,
but he kept dating, he wanted to keep dating.
So when the time came up to where it was already,
the year was coming up, I was getting a little bit antsy
and I would bring up the fact that
we kind of already should know.
And if he didn't feel like he wanted to be married,
that was okay, that we could part,
I would have no hard feelings,
he just wasn't ready and whatever,
we would part with being okay.
There was no hard feelings.
And he just didn't want to break up.
He just didn't want to break up.
So like he gave in to getting married
and I just allowed that.
And I think probably because of scarcity mindset,
maybe because I was older already.
And so in some ways I feel like I was marriage minded
and I was pretty upfront,
but then later I allowed myself to just,
I don't know, give in and just kind of settle,
even though I sort of saw,
I did see a lot of red flags or yellow flags
or whatever they're called,
things that maybe, yeah, he just wasn't ready.
And the fact that he was asking for more time to get married,
but I was just dead set on like,
if you don't know, that means you don't want to marry me,
you know, like we should just break up.
But he just didn't want to and I just went along with it.
Yeah, so it's very possible he entered the marriage
with a lot of resentment towards you.
A lot of times you'll find that men,
when a woman pressures them into a decision,
you think they did what you want, but they resent you
and it comes back and they rebel against you in areas.
So if you were going to plan something,
he's like, I ain't planning nothing with you.
You think you know everything,
everything's supposed to go your way.
You can know what he thinks about you,
just tell me what he said about you
every time y'all got to arguing.
There's something he said about you
over and over and over again.
That's the thing, we didn't argue.
We didn't really communicate.
Oh, well, that's interesting.
Yeah.
Y'all communicated for one year
and then completely stopped?
Yeah, I mean, he would be interested, he was dating,
he would do things that I liked and you know,
but,
There were a lot of red flags and things that he would say
that I just didn't appreciate being talked to that way.
And, you know, he would do things because I wanted him to,
but he wasn't like coming from a place
where he really wanted to.
So I'm just very hesitant
to not make the same mistakes again.
And I'm just trying to figure out
like what I need to do different in.
And it's been really helpful to be in this community
to hear you say even tonight about dating,
again, to say, when you date for discovery,
it's not to look for a man to marry,
it's just to see what God is gonna develop in us
or allow God to develop things in us.
So that's really helpful to know,
to just keep that in mind.
Yeah.
And Daisy, I'm gonna tell you this.
When you focus on a foundation of marriage,
minor, mature and masculine,
and you start to grow and allow people to show up
as they are and not,
so then you sound like you were really headset
on I need to be married, it's gonna be my way.
He acquiesced, he did everything you wanted him to do,
no matter how he felt.
There was a level of resentment
that sounds like it was built up.
Everything came falling apart and crumbling down
that usually what happens when a man does
what a woman wants him to do all the time,
that's just not your marriage, it's my marriage,
it's other people's marriage that I know, okay?
That's a thing.
But I want you to not have fear
that you're gonna repeat that pattern
because you're a different person.
And you saw that that did not serve you best.
So that means when you know a person
is not ready to be married,
first of all, you wouldn't be dating them for a year
and not some discussion, not being a part of this community.
But not if we told you,
we could tell you, you could do what you wanna do.
But once you see this time
that this person is not marriage-minded,
you're not gonna tell them to make a choice,
you're gonna make a choice.
Last time you put pressure on him to make a choice,
you knew that he wasn't ready.
You were supposed to make a choice at that point.
But at that point, you had a different perspective.
Put in a year with him.
So I want you to know there are other elements
of why you made the decision,
not just your isolated decision.
And that's why I'm more confident
that you won't make the decision again,
because it wasn't isolated.
Does that make sense?
It was comfortable.
It had a lot more things in it.
Yeah, but that was a great question.
Yeah.
No, thank you.
It's been super helpful to be in this community.
So thank you so much.
You're welcome, you're welcome.
So Fran, what about people getting into godly marriage
in their 20s?
Does this mean that they were ready and prepared early?
No, not most of the time.
And or, so this is a good question
because this is something that I've discussed so many times.
This stuff is like a case study with me.
But I can say, I look at my sister.
My sister got married when she was about 21.
Her and her husband have five children.
They do ministry, wonderful.
And so then I asked myself, Fran, what was I doing at 21?
What was I doing at 22, 23, 24?
I was in school.
My mind wasn't on a family.
My mind wasn't on marriage.
I can't explain, I asked a little,
why wasn't I thinking about it?
Why didn't I know that I needed time for children?
But I wasn't programmed that way.
My mind was far from marriage.
I wanted marriage.
I had an ideal of marriage, but I was still in school.
I was still doing these things.
I was doing that thing while my sister was raising a family.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
And so,
their marriages will tell you,
they have a marriage ministry now.
It costs a lot not to be prepared in certain areas.
It costs a lot when you don't know your identity
and you go into marriage.
It's just what it is.
You have to learn on the job.
And so I think that some learn on the job,
some never learn,
and some get to marry in hindsight.
Some get to be like us,
they get to make a choice.
We get to make a very educated,
growth, developmental choice.
And a lot of the battles and a lot of the heals
and the things that other people had to learn that way,
you won't learn that way.
And both are okay.
And so we have to accept that for some of us,
marriage came later and some of us marriage came earlier.
And I don't know how that happens.
I don't know if I could have been married earlier
if I had a different perspective.
That wasn't the perspective of my household.
My mama said, you gonna graduate and go to college.
That what you gonna do.
She didn't say that you're gonna go graduate,
go to college, find a husband.
Some people in the community that I'm from,
depend on their parents.
culture, they go to school just to find a spouse.
They have a degree, but they're homemakers.
I wasn't programmed that way.
I came from a lineage of women
who believe in education and degrees.
And that's just, that was what I came into.
Does that help you, friend, with that?
Yeah, I have thought to wish that sometimes,
like I wish I would have had a mindset of family,
but then again, you know, I don't know.
I don't know.
Here I am.
Everybody has a different plight in life
and not necessarily, you know, so many I don't knows.
One thing I don't fully understand
is the dating for discovery rather than marriage.
Wow, to also be looking for someone marriage-minded.
Could someone please clarify?
Ding, ding, ding, I can.
So let me break it down.
This is how the program is set up.
And I know you're saying, all right, I know,
just hear me out, Esther.
So in phase one, you go through the hard work.
We're hoping that we can deal with anything.
Oh, I love this, this is very confused too.
It is confusing.
I used to be confused too.
I used to be so confused.
So you go through the hard work,
you do the things that we need to get your heart healthy.
Hopefully we dealt with those things.
If not, oh well, it all comes out in the wash.
Jackie designed this program
so that when you come into dating,
you will begin to discover things about yourself
and discovering things about yourself through dating
because nothing scratches at you like dating.
Who can attest to that?
Don't nothing, it is the way that this dating
can irritate you and get to you and hurt you.
It gets to places, you'll put up walls,
you'll throw up brick walls, all to save yourself,
all to protect yourself.
You will forecast into the future.
You want certainty.
You realize that you lack the ability to be curious.
And somebody they've already developed this in them,
then they don't.
Some of us will find that we lean toward,
however we learn love,
if it wasn't a secure attachment in our household,
we've learned avoidant, we've learned anxiousness,
we've learned disorganized,
we've learned love some type of way.
And all of this will come up in dating.
And so what we believe is that when you date
in a low stakes way,
you learn to discover things about yourself,
yourself only.
And then we help you with boundaries
if you watch the video.
So boundaries says to guard your heart with our diligence,
these are the boundaries.
The boundaries are,
I'm not gonna talk about emotionally heavy things
on my first date,
or even in the first weeks.
Boundaries are I'm not gonna read a Bible
or study scriptures with a man.
Because when we do this,
and this is even proven in science,
when you do this,
you believe you know a person better than you do.
And you get this very ideal of,
well, you know, I'm seeing them the way God sees them.
No, no, baby, you need to see them as they are.
God can see people where they gonna be 30 years from now.
You wanna live through 30 years of hell?
I don't think so.
You need to see these people as they are in front of you.
When a person shows you who they are,
you better believe them.
Okay?
And so then you get to go,
I forgot where I was at.
That's just no problem,
shouldn't have went off on that little tangent,
but that's a real thing.
So you get to see how you handle yourself.
Oh, boundaries.
So we don't do Bible talking, scriptures,
and praying together in the early stages of dating,
maybe after you go exclusive.
And then you don't do physical touch.
This is our boundaries, but you can look it up.
Once you start doing physical touch
and kissing all of these things,
baby, you get blinded.
Something happens in the mind.
It can't function the same no more.
You know how that feeling starts
going all through your body?
You can lay in the bed and feel it.
It could have been,
because you know it lasts about 24 hours in a woman.
I think it's oxytocin is released.
And you just feel it all through your body.
Even the next day, you think about the kissing,
run back down through your body.
I'm telling you, my God.
And so when we're dating for discovery,
we're setting ourselves up in a low stakes way
so that we can learn about ourselves,
so that we can maximize the season
that we're in and develop these areas.
And so some of us may find
that we feel very entitled during this time.
Some of us may find that we don't really know how to pace.
When we like somebody,
we want to talk to them every day, all day.
We text and send up the sundown,
and the next week it all fall apart and you're heartbroken
because you don't know how to pace.
And you don't understand that you're a fruit inspector.
So sometimes we believe, well, he said this,
he said this, he said this, he said this.
And now you feel like you have certainty
and then you put an expectation on this person
that you don't know to be what they said,
but it's never supposed to be that way.
We are fruit inspectors.
I observe, I watch.
watch and I wait to see who you are as well as what a person should do for us.
And so it says, how can I look for people and say,
I'm dating for discovery while also being marriage minded?
Because marriage minded means I understand the times and season that I'm in
and I'm willing to be equipped.
I'm willing to get Ezra all the help she needs to be the best Ezra she could ever
be. Marriage minded says, I'm learning to pace.
That's what a marriage minded person says. A marriage minded person says,
I show grace. I'm learning how to show grace. A marriage minded person says,
see a marriage, we think marriage minded means I'm just ready for the altar.
Marriage minded means you're willing to be bendable and flexible.
All of this leads to marriage minded. Now for the question outright,
so marriage minded shows up in our character and marriage minded also shows up
in the decision we made. And so, you know,
you can always ask a person if they're marriage minded,
don't mean that you want to marry them. But ideally,
if a person is marriage minded,
you want them to show some traits of intentionality.
Are we all together? If I'm making sense, give me a thumbs up.
Okay. Yeah. Good. Um,
okay. So did that bring some clarity without beating the horse?
Um, Esther?
Yeah. I can't see your thumb. You might be on the other page.
Give me a thumb or a yes or something.
Lovetta, did it make more sense for you?
Yes. Karen say yes. Okay. All right.
Karen's question. This is helpful to hear. Even in my growing up was the, yes,
that was so helpful. Thank you. Oh, you're so welcome. Yes.
I'm so glad because this is a confusing concept because I want a man who's
marriage minded, mature and masculine. This is your evaluation process.
You're learning how to evaluate men that are potential suitors for you.
You gotta know how to evaluate a man to say, okay, this,
this man is a, uh, a potential suitor.
Okay. I could take him serious.
I've noticed over four weeks that he's consistent. Uh-huh.
Not one week, not two days.
You can't measure consistency over a week. Y'all you need at least three weeks,
four weeks. Okay. All right. Um, to measure consistency.
All right. So, so all I ever saw was women as home market.
So it wasn't part of my mindset to figure out an occupation,
to provide financial for myself. Being a hardworking industrious wasn't still,
just not a vision for a job. I think that's beautiful.
I like that, that you already come for the soft life.
David, um, my mama worried me to,
you ready me to work harder than my brothers.
And they're probably why I work harder than them.
I hear you. Like, I think that, I think it's a beautiful thing.
And there are plenty of men who desire an industrious woman who wants and desires
to be a homework homemaker. Not many women want to be there.
Some of it because,
because being a homemaker doesn't mean that you don't operate in purpose.
Being a homemaker doesn't mean you're not building businesses.
Being a homemaker doesn't, you know, and there's seasons.
If you have young children, you're going to be more focused on them.
When they get to a certain age,
you're going to be able to free up to do some other things. I think it's,
I think it's beautiful. Yeah.
You need months to measure consistency for sure.
You can't measure consistency over two weeks.
So if you only do it for one week and say, well, they were very consistent for,
what, five days? That ain't consistent.
I mean, you don't have enough time to measure that. So, yeah. And so, um,
I think, I think all of this is beautiful. Uh, did I talk us to,
I'm telling y'all, no, it could just be me,
but I thought there was a really good teaching. I know it's eight 30,
but do y'all have any questions? I can take at least two.
Okay.
You know, I'm out for the summer, so I may,
I don't mind doing 15 minutes over any questions.
And if you need to go as eight 30, don't ever, ever, ever, ever Sydney,
anybody else on this call know that you're new,
you and Esther feel like you have to hold on while I answer questions.
You do not,
you are free to exit the call and you don't even have to sneak out the room.
You can just click up and say, bye.
Sometimes you can feel a little nervous about doing it. I used to, I don't know.
You may not deal with stuff. I do. I was also raised to be a wife and a mom.
Oh, I think that's beautiful, but was also raised to go to college.
I went to college on the MRAS degree. I have a good job as a teacher too.
That's good. That's good. Um,
I think sometimes two cultures have a lot to do with things.
Yes, we do learn this. We do learn a lot by listening to other questions. It's other people's
questions. It's true. Oh, you've been challenging to figure out your season and purpose. I would
definitely ask the Lord that. Ask him what season you're in, because you're in a season.
We're always in a season. Nothing is wasted with the Lord. I'm telling you, he is the
strategist of all strategists. Don't even feel frustrated if you don't hear about it
this week from him or next week. He will speak. You just keep letting him know you're available
for his purposes and his plans. I ask stuff, it seem like, you know, sometimes seem like
it'd be a month. I'd be like, okay, I'll just hold you till I can hear from you. So any
other questions? Well, ladies, okay, Karen. Thank you for that, saying that. Don't be
frustrated if I don't hear from him, because I ask him a lot, like what's been the purpose
of, you know, I'm 42. What's been the purpose of this being a desire in my heart and yet
it not being a not yet. So all these questions are great of what remains in me that needs to
be developed as an Ezar. I'm going to listen to all this again and write a lot of more notes.
So thank you. That was very inspiring. And also I was at a conference this weekend.
I just want to say like, God is so fun. I typically don't drink coffee. I'm a tea drinker,
and I thought, I'm just going to go out and check out, you know, the little coffee stand
that they have. And in that moment I turn around and recognize a face from our zoom calls.
It was Tiffany. Ah, what's Tiffany? Texas Tiffany. Texas Tiffany. Yes. We were in Colorado Springs.
Really? I'm from Iowa and I turn around and she gets this look on her face and I get a look on my
face and I was like, are you for real Tiffany? She's like, I saw you and I thought, is that
really Karen from LYS? So we just had a ball. We went to lunch together. It was just like,
God is so fun. He is so fun. And this, in this particular conference, it was put on by wild at
heart, John and Stacey Eldridge ministry. And so I would say 98% of the audience are married couples
who love Jesus. And in one way that was so amazing and beautiful. And I had those moments of like
comparison and the what if, and I was like, no, we're not going to go there. If God can do it for
them, he can do it for me. Yes. So thank you for that, like training and capturing those thoughts
and turning it to hope. Like God has made these beautiful marriages that they are here
in this room seeking intimacy with Jesus together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so good.
I bet you that conference was amazing. Oh, it's phenomenal. I bet. Oh my goodness.
You know, there are times and ladies, this is a real thing and that's why I don't ever want you,
if I'm coaching you and you feel like it's beating you up or it's making you think you
have to be somewhere where you're not. I just want you to know that I'm sorry. That's never
my intent and to release me from your judgment and to release that from your judgment. There
are times when I was just at a graduation party and I can't tell you how long I've been sitting
at the circle with married people. It don't feel good all the time. Sometimes it's just my circle,
but my circle is always, I'm in ministry. Most all the people in this, where I was running singles
ministry, all of these people that are married. And sometimes you feel the sting of it. It's just
like, ah, you know, so they're talking about the things that married people talk about it,
or they do this, or you do this, but you remember this, or when they're talking about the children
that they raise and, oh, when they're this age and when they do this and when they do that,
and you feel the grip of it, you feel the sting of it. And that was one of those questions come
up in my heart. And I asked the Lord, what was I doing when I was 25? And why wasn't I thinking
about marriage? Because it's so easy to throw it back on God and say, why haven't you? But then
it's just as easy to say, Father, show me what I've been doing. Show me what's been going on in
my life. Why does my life look different? I have mastered coming into him because it just don't
feel good. Because if I blame him, then I'm left by myself. So I'm like,
I don't want to be by myself feeling like this. So I don't blame him. I go lean on.
Yeah, right, but I know it's just said a lot, but those are real things.
Those are real things that are happening in life all around you.
And when you feel like your clock is ticking and time is running out, you want to know why?
I get down, paper, pen, and I write out.
Show me.
And it's not something so wrong with me.
That's true, too.
But if I find myself at this position in this season,
Then I ask the question because I can't answer for five years ago. We're not five years ago. We're not 10 years ago
We're right here right now. So lord, what else needs to be developing me?
What is that you would like to develop in me as an Ezra?
What season am I in? You know, sometimes
I thought about this
You can build a build a business in this season that you wouldn't be able to build if you were married
Because you don't understand
What's gonna come with your training in marriage?
In marriage you totally get to know god different
Let me tell you your hand's gonna be full your honeymoon will be over soon
It literally did come to mature you and it's okay. It's serving its purpose in your life
But when you first get married you have to focus on developing and building your marriage and so you can try to juggle
a business
But you don't know if the season god is saying in this season
I want you to build this because there's seasons coming
It'll be five more years before you get back to this place
You don't know it'll be 10 more years before you're able to be this free
To have the ideas flowing through your mind that you have flowing through your now
It'll be 15 more years before you get back to this degree
I need you to have this degree because in 15 years
You already have it and you'll be in a position to take the position that I have waiting for you
There are so many things that we don't know
But god does
We know what we want how we want it and what we think will work best and we don't have a clue
We don't even know how much how many years we have on this earth i'm just telling you it's too many unknowns
To accuse the one who has all the plans in his hand
And so I choose to partner with him
With tears in my eyes and not knowing where we're going. So I just can't see nothing
You know, it's true
And I I I let bygones be bygones
It was like I don't want to scare but it was like five years ago probably
I opened my eyes laying in my bed and the lord says aiden and you are a wife
I want you married. That's okay. What you want me to do?
My mind was not on marriage
I didn't know it was gonna start a journey in the earth
That he was gonna literally start a movement on the inside of me. Literally. I did not know what needed to happen
And he just unfolded no, I haven't about a coach in me telling me
All I know is that one day I started thinking about the things that happened in the past and should I get help for that?
Not saying should I get help so I could be married things just started coming up
It's just like he just started processing me and I didn't know that he needed an agreement in the earth a partner in the earth
To declare what he wanted to do in my life
Because they gave him legal authority to now move and work and prepare me for a thing
But I have been um in a lot of this i've been fulfilled because i've been operating in a lot of purpose
But there are many many nights of cries many times saying to god
I know it ain't this hard for you. Keep nobody married. I know it I've seen
I've seen too many people get married. It ain't this hard. It's not hard at all
So surely surely surely you must be doing something
Surely surely you must be doing something that you need to let me in on and I won't end on it
anyway, so
I didn't mean to steal your thunder karen, but you know, that was beautiful. Yeah, that's what I
I've often heard women say they know that the lord wants them married and I do not have that assurance
and so it leaves me with like
Yeah, well see this is a thing. You don't people word things how they choose to word them
You know, you want to be married
Yeah, so it's just a that was a play of words
I can say I believe the lord said that to me
I believe he said it. So I grab hold to it. But what I don't believe is that he doesn't want me married
Because what he said that he made woman for man. He told him to be fruitful and multiply his word speaks of this
Jacket teaches you wouldn't have the desire to be married
It's not it's not a withholding thing
And when you don't see something happen that that's a real processing that's a real thought
Oh, you're so welcome esther and so I just want you to know that's a play of words
Listen let me tell you something. There's some people who marriage should have never been married
If you asking my opinion, right?
I was in the wedding business for 14 years. Oh, wow
I've seen a lot
of thought. You could be my wedding planner. How far are you? Well, I was, I did flowers
for weddings and events. I had my own business in Virginia. I had to close it. Well, I had
to close it in 2021. So cause of COVID? Yeah. Virginia wasn't allowed to do events. Oh wow.
Oh wow. Well, I mean you could do like 10 person weddings for like two years, so.
Wow. I'm sorry about that. Yeah. So that's why I moved to Iowa. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Interesting.
I know. Lately I've thought like, did I abandon the calling God had on my life by closing that
business? It's just something I'm thinking through. You have multiple calls and multiple
purposes in your life and the Lord wants to resurrect there from the dead, baby. You can
start making flowers tomorrow. For all y'all. I'll just be the traveling floral designer.
You can be a traveler flooring design. Like you can pick it up. We don't, I'm telling you,
well, sometimes when we start thinking that way, you know, the enemy can bring a lot of thoughts
in our mind. Did I abandon something? Did I do something wrong? Carrie, you've not done anything
wrong that the father can't restore and make better than it was before. That's just not how
it works in the Lord. That's not his track record. He reveals to redeem and restore. That's who he is.
Thank you. You're welcome. All right. My question, I have a friend who I've known for a
year and he recently started trying to know me, know me. So if we had a two hour phone call,
phone wasted, Oh, where he starts asking me so many personal questions, like compatibility
questions, I've liked him before now, but was really avoided. And so kept him at a distance.
So now that I'm becoming more open, just in general, I'm curious if he'd recommend as if
I'm curious, if you'd recommend, I still begin online dating and practice these things
or to wait to see what happens with him. I think you should practice online dating, my dear.
You should practice online dating. The one thing is when you wait to see what happens with him,
then that means you are putting an expectation that he is the one, he is someone,
he is the possible somebody. He is a possibility just like everybody else, Esther.
And so practice dating, picking out some people that you like, that you enjoy,
see how you flow with that. That'll be good.
Oh Lord, Esther, you didn't want me to read. That was a direct message. I'm so sorry.
Did I offend you? Please say no. I did not see that it was direct.
Oh, you just wanted me to get the question. Oh my Lord. Oh, thank you. Thank you. You're
going to be good with that. Grace, your husband going to like your sister.
How do you allow God to feel the need for affirmation that we look for from a man?
You simply say, Lord, I've been looking for a man to affirm me,
but I now bring it and put it in your hands.
I want all of my affirmation to come from you. I want to be built up in you.
I want to be built up in you. I want to be built up in you.
And you continue to confess that and you take out your word and you hear the thoughts of God
toward you and you don't need a lot of scriptures. Get you one that talks about his thoughts toward
you. Don't get one that you got to convince yourself of. I'm fearfully and wonderfully
made. That ain't going to do it. I'm telling you right now, that's not going to do it.
You need to keep sitting there laughing at me. That won't get you there. But what will get you
there are scriptures that talk about the Lord's thoughts toward you. Like he says,
I have more thoughts toward you than the sands on the seashore. When he says to you that nothing by
any means shall pluck you out of my hands. The things that he speaks about you, the loving
things he speaks about you, his thoughts toward you. I know the thoughts and the plans that I
have for you is to prosper you. These are the things that I think about you. You want to
meditate on things like that, Daisy. And because you've been looking for it in a man don't,
it will take some time, but that's okay. That's a part of the process and stick with it. Be
consistent because God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him. He says, first you come to me
believing and knowing that I am God and I'm a rewarder of those who diligently seek me.
Be diligent in your quest. Set a timer, set your calendar. Say, I'm going to do this three days a
week for five minutes, two minutes. I don't care if it's one minute, just do it three days a week.
Be consistent, reminding yourself of these truths, confessing these truths.
God, you have so many thoughts toward me. Can you share one with me today?
I have a thought toward you, God. You're lovely. You're amazing. You're beautiful.
What are your thoughts toward me?
And you'll see that you'll begin to develop this love intimate relationship with the Lord,
and it's a beautiful place. And then over time, these things happen.
Don't mean that you're not going to doubt sometimes,
but it will happen. And I know for myself, I know for myself,
you would do that. I'm sorry if I just start singing.
Okay. Any more questions, ladies?
Okay. All right. Okay. Well, I enjoyed you all so much. I hope that this is, it was amazing. Great.
That's what I did right now when he said for 10 years. Oh, wow. That is so good. Ms. Bunny said
she wrote out what the Lord said for 10 years. That's amazing. I'm telling you, get down in your
heart. Another thing I'm going to do for you all, I'm going to post the notes because this was a
great deal of information. And I want you to have these notes because perspective will get you to
the goal and it'll let you have fun all the way with the Lord. And I mean, sometimes you're going
share some tears, but that's okay. Like Jackie says, it doesn't mean it's not hard. Is it worth
it? Yep. Is it worth it? Yes, it is. Okay, ladies, have fun and I'll see you soon. Have a good night.
I'll see you Thursday if you come into the book club sneak preview. All right. Good to see you,
Nikki and Kelly. All right. Good night. Thank you, Ebony. You're welcome.